#but it was another example of their deep connection

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Padmé sensing she has a bond to Anakin when she met him in The Phantom Menace and even having that inclination that he’s someone really special is so important to me

(Attack of The Clones: Visual Dictionary.)

(Queen Amidala Journal - Episode 1)

(Queen Amidala Journal - Episode 1)

💙💛💙💛

[statementlou]

hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

[daily-hanamura]

[bredforloyalty]

when that interviewer said "this is like a bromance , and, you must have been jealous when you got married right?" with a straight face

[theaawalker]

Steps to Write a Genuine Platonic Relationship

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1. Establish the Foundation

Define Their Connection: Decide what brings these characters together—shared history, common interests, or a deep emotional understanding.

Set Boundaries: Clarify from the start that their relationship is non-romantic, avoiding any lingering tension that could be misread as attraction.

Give Them Complementary Strengths: Show how they support and challenge each other without romantic implications, emphasizing mutual respect.

2. Shape Their Role in the Story

Decide Their Impact: Determine how their bond influences the plot—do they solve problems together, serve as each other’s moral compass, or push each other toward growth?

Avoid Romantic Clichés: Refrain from using traditional romantic tropes like longing glances, accidental physical tension, or excessive jealousy.

Show Their Value Beyond Love: Let their relationship be crucial to the story in a way that isn’t reliant on romance or tension.

3. Build Their Dynamic

Use Natural Banter: Let them have inside jokes, tease each other, or share moments of camaraderie without any romantic undertones.

Create Moments of Deep Understanding: Show how they confide in one another in ways they wouldn’t with others, reinforcing their trust and emotional closeness.

Let Them Have Other Romantic Interests: This solidifies that their bond isn’t about unspoken attraction, making it clear that romance isn’t lurking in the background.

4. Define Their Chemistry

Make Their Interactions Unique: Ensure they have a specific energy that distinguishes their bond from romantic connections in the story.

Emphasize Loyalty Over Possessiveness: They can care deeply about each other without feelings of possessiveness or unresolved tension.

Show Physical Comfort Without Romance: Casual, platonic touch like a ruffling of hair, a side hug, or a reassuring pat on the back can reinforce their connection without romantic connotations.

5. Demonstrate Their Impact on Each Other

Let Them Grow Together: Show how they influence each other’s decisions, ambitions, or emotional development without needing romance as a motivator.

Create High-Stakes Moments: Put them in situations where they rely on each other, proving their bond is just as deep as any romantic relationship.

Allow Conflicts Without Romantic Resolution: If they fight, let their reconciliation stem from their friendship and values rather than an underlying romantic interest.

6. Develop a Satisfying Arc

Decide Their Long-Term Dynamic: Whether they remain lifelong friends, drift apart naturally, or take different paths, ensure their bond leaves a lasting impact.

Showcase Their Relationship’s Meaning: Highlight how their connection was vital to their growth, reinforcing the importance of strong, platonic love.

Avoid Unnecessary Romantic Subtext: Let them stand as proof that deep, meaningful relationships don’t need romance to be powerful.

Examples of Strong Platonic Relationships

1. Film/TV Examples

Frodo & Sam (The Lord of the Rings): A loyal, emotional bond built on trust and shared hardship.

Robin & Steve (Stranger Things): A brother-sister-like friendship that develops beyond a possible hetero-romance.

Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes (Captain America): Sibling-like love based on support, teasing, and mutual admiration.

2. Literature Examples

Duke the Guarder & Dawn Demiss (The Guardians of Camoria series): A deep friendship based on emotional intellect, trust, and shared insecurities.

Jo March & Laurie (Little Women, after rejection): A lifelong friendship that remains strong despite romantic expectations.

Harry Potter & Hermione Granger (Harry Potter series): A close friendship built on trust, emotional support, and respect without romantic tension.

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thank you, i am farkle :)

thank you @celestialgarden23 for the request :)

[bootycallin]

BRING IT BACK.

basically; vi, who delivers the most lethal backshots known to man

cw: wlw. men dni. g!p! vi. unprotected sex. doggy. degradation if you squint. swearing. brief spanking. a lil ass play. implied overstimulation? mention of creampie but she cums on ur back lol. vi's down bad. briefly proofread. this is a lil short i'm sorryyy

a/n: can you tell i was excited? anyways, sevika fic coming soon. if you saw this before i apologize, i fucked something up on the formatting and had to redo it.

NSFW UTC

vi is the type of girl that likes seeing your face when you two have sex, for a multitude of reasons. for example, she likes seeing your pretty face twist in pleasure whenever she sheathes her cock fully inside of you, but she also likes keeping the eye contact. it makes sex all the more intimate, and vi prides herself in being a considerate lover. she always wants to make sure you're doing fine, and your expression is a good way of doing that.

but no story has only one side. and, neither do you, and she fucking loves your backside as well.

"shit," she groaned, growled, untamed and feral, giving ravenous, rough thrusts in and out of your sopping hole. barely gives you enough time to even moan, each thrust ripping a gasp from your throat, taking the breath away from your lungs. she's laser-focused on the way your pretty cunt swallows her girth, greedy, clenching around her so fucking tight, like your pussy never wants to let go. one hand on your waist, the other on your ass, landing a hard smack that makes you whine.

"look at that," vi grunted, grabbing at the yielding skin of your ass cheek, admiring the skin plushing between her fingers. never once does she stop, pace unrelenting. "taking my cock so well. so fuckin' pretty, baby... fuckin' love taking me from behind, don't ya? huh, princess?"

she smacks your ass again when you don't respond immediately, sending your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"yes, viii..." you replied, in a strangled mewl, hitching your head to the side to look back at her. and fuck, if she didn't have the most fucking smug face in the face of the planet.

"yeah, fuckin' looove when i hit it from the back, don't you, babe?" vi scoffed. grabbing at your waist tighter so she could pull you back into her cock in time with her thrusts. she was in so deep, the angle making it oh-so easy for her to reach the deepest spots inside you, the tip of her cock kissing your cervix repeatedly, as bruisingly as she would kiss you.

"fuckin' love this pretty ass. shit, look at 'er," her hand just can't seem to stop squishing and squeezing the skin of your ass, running over it, feeling you up. you knew vi liked your body, but you didn't know she was this much of an ass woman.

in her defense, it's such a good angle. she's always noticed your butt, but she doesn't usually focus on it. she likes seeing your face when you fuck, but she could get used to this view. your face down, your ass up, meeting her pelvis with each thrust, how you whine and whimper at the tickle of the little red hairs that trail down her tummy and cover the base of her dick, same hairs that get slowly wetter with your wetness and hers mixing, balls smacking against your clit in a dizzying fashion.

you don't even notice her hand wandering, thumb straying, 'til it's right over your rim, prodding at your puckered hole. you keen, a hitched gasp coming from the back of your throat.

"vi, what the-hah!—"

"shhh," she shushes you, not really even giving you much of a choice but to shut up, another harsh thrust that hit right against your cervix, making you burrow your face into the plush of the bed, you two connected on every level. she starts grinding into you instead, keeping herself as deep as she could, tip practically smushing against your insides.

"it's okay, baby," she muttered, leaning down, her front nearly pressing against your back. "you'll take me, right? please, baby, gonna make you feel sooo good."

how can you deny when she asks so sweetly? a little hum of approval is all she needs to hear.

suddenly she pulls out. a smirk graces her face when you whine, a string of slick and pre connecting your cunt to her cock in a filthy scene.

she spits right on your hole, licks it just to see you squirm. her hand moves to her cock, letting out a shaky sigh as she wipes her thumb over her slit, gathering the pre-cum that built on her tip. when she feels it's enough, she aligns herself with your pussy, her thumb circling your rim. she watches as you wince when she begins dipping her thumb in, pushing her cock inside of your cunt at the same time. the simultaneous movement makes your eyes roll, unconsciously relaxing so she can push her finger in easier.

"viii..." you try to run away, but she keeps you still, grabbing tightly at your hips. you're clenching around her so tight she can barely even move.

"shh... just relax, baby. fuck, you're so tight..."

she nearly moans when your warmth envelops her digit completely. your cunt's fucking strangling her, clenching repeatedly against the base of her cock so tight she swears you're gonna cut circulation.

her next movement are robotic, drawing back from you only to slam right back in, a loud smack reverberating in the room. you swear you can feel her in your guts. she's so deep, her thumb now filling your other hole. you’ve never felt so full, and fuck, you love it.

"vi-iiii,” her name drawls out like string from your throat, the only coherent thought that you're forming being about how good it feels, how good she feels. she's also only thinking about you, about how much she wants to fill you to the brim, fuck you full of her again and again and again until it's engraved in your mind thoughts of her. 'til you're ruined, and it's engrained in that she is the one that fucks you this good, the one fucking you dumb.

"mmh? yeah? i'm listenin', baby," she's teasing. she loves how you get all huffy when she does. she knows you can't speak, not when she's pounding you into the mattress like she wants to mold your pussy for fit her cock. she spreads your ass to get more access, and fuck, the view might just be from heaven. it's obscene and so pretty and so fucking hers.

soon, that familiar knot is forming in your stomach, growing impossibly tighter each thrust. you cry out, hands hopelessly grasping at the bedsheets, your thighs spreading on instinct, back arching. vi tuts behind you, mean.

"nuh-uh," she nearly growled, grabbing your waist and pulling you right back onto her cock with a grunt. "you were beggin' for it, don't run away, you can take it, yeah?"

"vi-ii!!" you let out a pathetic cry, muscle memory only making you bounce right back against her. "shi-shit— s'much..!"

"oh, but you're taking me so well, baby," she praised, but it somehow managed to sound dangerous. vicious. "fuck, pussy's swallowing me up whole. look at her, clenchin' round me, doesn't want to let me fucking go."

her last word's punctuated with a sharp smack to your ass, and oh she relishes in the way you sob, knowing that has to leave a painful sting, which she soothes with her palm.

"vi, close...! 'm- 'm close!"

"me too baby, fuck," she groans, adjusting herself just so she can fuck into you better, her cock moving inside you, tilting at an upwards angle that makes her rub right against that little spot she knows turns your brain to mush. "gonna cum for me, yeah? make a mess, c'mon, c'mon..."

your orgasm hits you like a goddamn truck, back arching like that of a cat's. if her hand didn't hold you up by the hips, you would've collapsed by now. you're leaking, your cum leaving a creamy white ring around the base of her cock, a vision she wants to be drawn into her grave so she'll never forget it. she groans, her hand lets go of you, letting you lay back down while she supports her weight on her free hand.

"fuck, fuck," she grunts in her own needy way, reminiscent of a dog with how she pants against your back, bending so she could be closer, smelling your hair. shes close, and she only gets closer when she hears your whimpers, hips still smacking against your ass as she chases her own orgasm.

"shit!—"

she finally cums, pulling out just in time to release all on your back, squirting a pretty white string right where your spine sat. she hissed a desperate string of curses, something she does to spare some dignity and not outright moan like a slut (you've told her you like when she moans, but damn it, she's the one with the cock. plus, it's not like you can't hear the whimpers in the back of her throat. not slick, violet).

her face buried into the space between your shoulder blades, she strokes her cock a few more times for good measure, collapsing on top of you when her own legs start shaking and she feels like she’s been milked dry.

you're panting, her weight over your body, sticky skin against sticky skin, sweat and cum mixing. she could care fucking less that your back's covered in her cum, and she's pressing her chest to it. if anything, she likes it. loves how her skin sticks to yours, how she can barely tell where you end and she begins.

"mhm," vi hummed, removing her thumb from your hole, huffing out a little laugh when you whimper. she wraps her big arms around you, hands smoothing over your skin. she leaves a few kisses down the back of your neck, before licking a long line over your spine, scooping up her own cum with her tongue.

"vi—“

before you can ask, she turns you around, kissing you, tongue shoved into your mouth. all you can taste is her, her cum and your sweat and just sex. you have no problem swallowing, much to her pleasure, a dumb, lopsided grin tilting her mouth up.

"let's do that again," she muttered, kissing the slope of her neck. her cock sits heavy on your lower stomach, hard. "wanna cum inside you this time."

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 © bootycallin on tumblr. do not copy, translate or cross post without permission. ᛝ

[orphicmusings]

“give me ten minutes and a pillow for his hips”

18+ | MDNI

its not that viktor didn’t want to devour you. take you in the almost impossible positions he’d widen his eyes at reading about when he got bored in the library, attempting to anatomically sketch it out on a napkin to visualize how it would work hastily before anyone came in and caught him flipping through an erotic novel. and he would, through the pain, it would be so worth it— if not for your gentle consideration. the one thing sexier than your dazed face looking up at him, all heated cheeks and hooded eyes, was how perceptive you were— how well you knew him, how well you saw him. you were attuned to him now, an invisible string between you. a phenomenon he could never sit down and wrap his big head around, just how connected the two of you had become that you barely needed words to communicate sometimes. like, for example, an abrupt whine sneakily covered by the clearing of his throat.

you were both excited and apprehensive when he brought up wanting to be on top tonight. you knew he would be putting pressure on his bad leg and of course you brought it up, but the way his voice dipped in velvet and wrapped around you, the lyrical lilt in his accent becoming hushed and deeper as he detailed how he wanted you under him, he wanted to take you, claim you, devour you with no inhibitions. his silver tongue won against your worried left brain, twice technically, until you heard it— the slightest change of rhythm in the strum of your little connective string.

“viktor?” you lifted your head. “what was that?”

he took a deep breath and buried his head in the crook of your neck. “nothing, darling.” he punctuated his assurance was a distracting suckle on your skin. and god, you almost gave in again, almost, but you gently tilted his head up and looked into his darkened eyes. “didn’t sound like nothing.”

damn you and your perceptive skills. he loves them so much.

another deep breath leaves him, and before he could wave it off, you press him. “it’s your leg, isn’t it?” you ask, already knowing the answer, and he can’t lie to you.

“yes.” he breathed in surrender. “i’m sorry, my love i really wanted to-what are you doing?” he frowned, watching you roll out from under him and grab one of the pillows on his bed.

“armchair, now.” you pointed to the chair across the room, with the plush ottoman in front of it that you gifted him. he couldn’t help but let a smirk pull at the corners of his mouth.

“bossy.” yet, he obeyed and made his way over to you. you gave him the pillow, instructing him to put it under his hip as he sat down, making sure his leg was elevated on the ottoman. once you got him all situated, you didn’t even have time to ask if it felt better before he was grabbing the back of your neck and kissing you like a man starved. you melted into his touch, straddling him but careful not to apply too much pressure. “so fucking sweet.” he pants the praise huskily into your mouth. “too good to me.”

his hands traveled down your body to grip your hips, pulling you flush to him. you started grinding slowly, and he guided you, a shaky breath leaving your mouth before you even got to the main event. every noise from your mouth caused a shiver to run down his spine, striking him with irrational need— he didn’t care that the things he wanted to do to you would make him scream in pain, he felt that he would simply die if he couldn’t fuck you the way he pictured it in his head right now.

but then he looks at you, just as dazed and hungry on top of him as you were under him, and a smile creeps up on him. it doesn’t matter if he were to throw you down and ravage you like a love interest in those books, or if you were softly bouncing on his length, burying your little sighs and whimpers into the crook of his neck, he’s still pleasing you. he’s still enough for you. he exhaled a smirk.

“none of that, darling.” he lifted your jaw to meet his eyes. “wanna see you and hear you. can you do that for me?” you nodded, struggling to keep your head up in the throes of pleasure, but having no trouble letting your mouth run wild with curses and praises and whines and whimpers. and it was all music to his ears. “that’s it, sweet girl.” his voice came ragged as he reached his long fingers to press on your clit. you all but screamed, tugging gently on the curls of the nape of his neck. he whined and threw his head back.

“am i hurting you?” you asked hoarsely, your hand hovering over his hair. he shook his head adamantly, taking your hand and tangling it back in his hair himself. each thrust would earn a tug, and each tug would earn a pretty noise from him, causing another push to each of your edges.

“love you….” he whispered against the skin of your neck, pressing a kiss against it as you both reached your peaks, breathing heavily against each other. “love you so much.”

[poguehearted77]

Just Another Cliché

Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.

<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>

Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.

Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.

Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.

It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.

You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.

A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.

"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.

Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.

"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.

You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.

Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.

-

Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.

Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.

There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.

"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"

You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."

It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.

At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.

"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."

Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."

So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.

That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.

"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."

He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.

This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.

Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.

Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.

-

The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.

He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.

"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.

You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.

You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.

Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.

Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.

"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.

It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.

"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.

Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.

Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."

You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"

The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?

Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.

He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.

The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.

The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.

He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.

Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.

His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.

You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.

She finally said yes.

That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?

You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.

Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.

Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.

Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.

In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.

Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.

[aphrodicci]

ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ʀᴜʟᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇꜱ

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♇ what is a ruler in astrology?

♇ a ruler in astrology is a planetary ruler, a planet that rules over the sign that takes over a house, for example, someone with capricorn in their second house, will have saturn as their second house ruler.

♇ my second house is ruled by saturn, and saturn is placed in my seventh house in astrology.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 1H ⟶ self value means a lot to them. distinct/nice voice can become famous for that. family-oriented or known as the most selfish family member. beauty and money oriented. very stubborn but beautiful, can imply that romance and communication is important to native.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 2H ⟶ can be self-centred, being someone who is vocal. can be someone who is frugal as well. might like to sing, cook and create are. stubborn. could be obsessed with future spouse and can be someone who likes to many money. can be very sensual/sexual.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 3H ⟶ very communicative. slow speakers or likes to take time to make their point. can be someone who likes to make quick money. pretty hands and hand writing. can be manipulative. values intelligent and siblings and cousins. spends money on food and travelling. beautiful relatives and pretty/loud neighbourhood.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 4H ⟶ values family and order. very emotionally distant and private. very secretive and easily hurt. can be someone who is protective, and might become the money-maker of the family. being someone who has a nice aesthetic, and might sound like your mother, or a prominent female figure in the family.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 5H ⟶ very creative people. superstars and values talent. could value children and be very protective over them. or could value healing the inner child. very intelligent and educated. very sexual and can value romance and sex. could moan loud during sex or could like listening to hot audios.

♇ 2H RULER IN THE 6H ⟶ troubles with eating. gym/health freak. can value order and good health. might like to speak on the phone a lot and can be someone who could love pets or animals in general. being someone who likes to win as well, very competitive souls. but can be critical or someone who fishes for compliments to other people.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 7H ⟶ money from partners or business partnerships. can value connections with friends, family and people in general. can have a nice/airy voice, family relationship might've impacted how you behave in relationships. might love to buy aesthetically pleasing stuff and can be known to be pretty.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 8H ⟶ very private and guarded people. family secrets can change them. gaining finances through spouse or a will. can be be intimate and values intimacy. secret siblings/family members. sensual voices, known for voice acting or even singing. could also be mean if they wanted to.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 9H ⟶ values intelligence and travelling. could like to be flattered. being someone who could like to trade with other people. can be someone who values philosophy or having faith in something. people believing in them helps them become more confident, another placement where someone fishes for compliments all the time. can gain money through creative writing or directing. can have a big ego as well.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 10H ⟶ popular business moguls. can be a famous vocal actress or actor. up-front person. nice deep/commanding voice. authoritative person, someone who values career, discipline and reputation. can be very self-involved and controlling. prominent financial life. coming from a respectable or known family.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 11H ⟶ popular friends, values friendship and being independent. gaining money from the internet or through networking. distinct voices might sound animated. can be a humanitarian. weird food taste, found family core. being someone who loves privacy and charity. people are curious about your family, how you earn money. could have a wealthy future, or wealthy friends.

♱ 2H RULER IN THE 12H ⟶ drains through money. retail therapy. struggles with food. might be paranoid. light voices but shady people. unexpected talent, people are surprised whenever they're good at something. a family member might've gone to prison/been behind bars. manifestors. could be interested in the fae, could have dreamy beauty. might disappear a lot, and can be delusional.

masterlist

and i wanted to be kind and leave three mores spot for someone for a chart reading, £30 for any type of chart reading.

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

cw: menstruation (not graphic), afab anatomy

Part 4: “Girl Problems”

You shift in the office chair, stomach lurching uncomfortably. It’s been bothering you today - groaning and moaning nonstop. So far you blamed it on the suspicious chicken salad you got from the discount grocery store. You took every stomach soother you could, all the way down to chugging tea on the hottest day of spring so far.

With a rather pathetic groan you stand to meander your way to the bathroom. Surely sitting on the pot will help - at least as a placebo. Just as you do, though, a very distinct wet feeling makes itself known. You freeze, briefly, as if it will go away if you stand still enough.

“Ah, fuck!” You gasp, grabbing your purse and jogging down the hall to the single bath stall and popping the lock shut.

As soon as you sit, you let out a small sigh of relief. At least you caught it before you turned your underwear into a total crime scene. You’d rather not have to explain to John why you need to go home and change. You dig through your bag to your usual pocket of various supplies. From lotion to a sewing kit. It never hurts to be prepared.

Except, as you rifle around, you’re not finding your usual stash. There should be at least three in here… when did-?

The very loud, distinct memory of a girl at a bar stopping you while canvassing for some sanitary products hits you like a train.

“Whatever you’ve got I’ll take.” She practically begged. So, you handed them all over because got forbid someone get stranded during the most hellish week of the month. Like you are now.

You make a deep, frustrated noise in your throat and bury your face in your hands. You’ve been meaning to put a basket of backup wipes, pads, and tampons in the little bathroom cabinet - not just for you but for customers, too. It just kept getting pushed off when you got busy with other things.

Shit. What are you gonna do? If you put your pants back on you’ll just bleed through them in ten minutes. Cursed with a heavy flow (or blessed with a strong connection to the moon, as your former hippie roommate insisted.) Less time than that, probably, based on the vicious cramp that travels from your lower back to pelvis. You won’t be able to get to the corner store with out leaving a war crime in your path.

John’s the only person in the studio right now. He doesn’t have a client for another hour or so but you’d rather die than tell your hot boss you’re bleeding everywhere. For a few, quiet moments, you violently bounce your knee and go through every possibility. Maybe you’ll suddenly turn into the flash and you can get home before anyone even notices. You don’t really have much of a choice, do you?

With another groan you pull your phone from your pocket, thumb hovering over his contact for just a few beats too long while you work up the courage.

>> ok so this is terrible

>> im so sorry

>> but im having girl problems and am stuck in the bathroom

>> im so sorry this is so unprofessional

Girl problems? What are you? In fucking middle school? Before you can send yet another in a long string of planned apologies, John answers.

J >> How can I help?

>> i dont have any products on me

>> meant to stock the bathroom

>> sorry

J >> Stop apologizing

J >> What kind do you use? I’ll go to the corner store up the street

You breathe out a sigh of relief, still nervously gnawing at your lip as you send him what you need with an example picture (just in case) and profusely insist you’ll pay him back. John refuses. You’ll just have to sneak the cash in his tips or something.

It isn’t long before you hear the front doorbell ring, heavy footsteps, then a gentle tap on the bathroom door. “Y’alright, love?”

You perk up. “John, I’m so sorry-“

“Didn’t ask if you were sorry. Asked if you were alright.”

You snort. “Yeah…”

“I’m goin’ to unlock the door to slide these in. No lookin’ I swear.” John says. As if you were worried about that. You trust John. More than maybe any other man you’ve known (not that the bar is very high.) It’s nice of him to say, though. The door barely cracks open, just enough for him to toss the box to you across the floor and shut it immediately. You barely even see his arm. “That all you need?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” You murmur, bending awkwardly and snatching up the box. “I’m really sorry. I know it’s not really… appropriate.”

“Love, it���s normal. It happens. Just get y’self situated.” John taps the door once before you hear his footsteps drift down the hall toward the front.

You feel a bit skittish the rest of the day. You know it’s stupid. John’s a grown man and it’s a natural thing that happens and it’s fine. He said it’s fine. If it wasn’t fine you probably wouldn’t still look up to him the way that you do - the way that you have since you came here. The way everyone else seems to. Even so, you step around him a little wider than usual on your way out - keeping your head hung low and both hands tightly gripping your purse.

You chew your lip, shifting in place as he locks the front door. “Look, John, I-“

“If you apologize again I’m gonna fire you.” John mutters, pulling on the door to make sure it’s properly secured. There’s humor in it, though, the corners of his lips quirked up slightly.

You scoff, still not quite able to meet his eye.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” When you don’t move fast enough, apparently, he tilts your head up with a light touch. His eyes are so warm despite their icy blue shade. Sparkly in the setting sun. “Any man worth his breath wouldn’t give a shite. I’m sorry if that hasn’t been your experience, but really, it’s fine. I’ll help you out a thousand times over if y’need.”

“Okay…” You murmur, suddenly very distracted by the feeling of his fingers touching your chin, light as is it. You pull away and clear your throat, hoping he doesn’t notice the growing heat in your cheeks. “Well, uh, see you tomorrow, then.”

John nods, still smiling. “Sleep well, dove.”

When you come in the next day, you expect to get teased. A snide comment or a sideways look. You would have at any other job you’d worked - especially one with all men. All giggling and poking at you like a bear they know can’t bite back. No one says a thing outside of their usual greetings when you make your way to the front desk, though. Johnny pinches your hip like normal, Simon greets you with his new pun of the day, Kyle gives you a distracted wave over the hum of his practice gun. John doesn’t bat an eye when he says hello and checks in about the plan for the day.

You open the bottom drawer that you usually tuck your purse into, pausing before you set it inside. At the bottom, neatly tied together with a piece of twine, sits a king size chocolate bar and a pack of Midol.

If John notices the way you become extra smiley after that discovery, he doesn’t comment.

A/N: This was very self-indulgent but I’m having a bad time over here and need to be saved.

[elysiansparadise]

Synastry Observations VIII

💚The core issue with the square between Moons is the different emotional needs. You both may need different things to feel satisfied or comfortable. This aspect can be approached with good communication in which you talk about what you need without fear of "asking for too much". Not by reproaching or asking the other to change, but rather telling them how you feel more emotionally validated and, in return, listening to what they have to say about their own needs. A person who loves you will make an attempt for this communication to exist and will make these attempts to make you feel both loved and understood. 

💚When your Mars falls in a person's 8th house, this person will find you very attractive and sensual. You will give this person the impression that you are someone very sexual, with a lot of experience or simply a person with whom they could connect very well sexually. A mutual attraction happens and there can be a lot of desire for the other, that kind of desire that you don't understand why it is but it pushes you like a magnet.

💚When someone's Pluto is conjunct your Sun or Rising, this person can play a lot of role in your transformations, from helping you see things completely differently, to seeing yourself in ways you didn't see yourself before, or simply helping you to change many aspects of your life. It is very likely that this person came into your life when you were in the midst of big, important changes.

💚When someone's stellium falls in your 7th house, it creates a strong sense of companionship, regardless of the nature of the relationship. You will like spending time with this person, you will feel comfortable and you will feel that you can really count on them. There is a strong bond between them and they will enjoy spending time together doing anything from activities to simply being by each other's side. They will influence each other's love life, whether by being each other's partner or by advising and supporting the other's love life. They will understand very well what the other needs in love, especially you.

💚When someone's Moon falls in your 9th house beyond the joy it can easily evoke in you, that person is likely to naturally make you see beyond yourself. They are people with whom you will have many epiphanies and you will go much deeper with their presence. Even if you are not a very introspective person, subconsciously these people can make you look deep inside yourself, especially with emotional issues.

💚A situation I commonly observe is that when someone's Venus falls in another person's 12th house, the house person often feels or thinks that Venus person would not correspond to them. And, at the same time, the Venus person feels that the other person is too much for them or that they would not reciprocate their feelings. With this overlay it is likely that both will admire each other from a distance and at first it will be difficult to get closer due to fear of rejection. 

💚When there is a trine between Moon-Venus, both enjoy each other's company, they feel comfortable bringing out their most vulnerable and romantic side.  Between you there are sincere feelings of sympathy and mutual admiration. They understand very well the emotional needs of each person as well as the relationship. There is a lot of support, patience and willingness to understand each other on a deeper level.

💚Aspects between Saturn-Rising activates this need to make the other person proud. The positive side of this aspect is that they push each other to grow and improve, since they see in the other someone who not only motivates them but guides them regarding personal or professional growth. If the natives are not developed, they can constantly seek the approval and acceptance of the other.

💚When squares with Mars occur in a synastry, the way to deal with it is patience, whatever the context. For example, with Mars-Mercury patience is required to not jump to conclusions [something very common with this placement]. With Mars-Venus you will need that awareness and patience to know your partner's preferences and connect better in the relationship, both emotionally and physically.

💚When someone's Venus falls in your 6th house, you will feel a reliable love. They will be the kind of people to bring you little details just because they brought them to your attention. They will offer you a love that gradually grows, one that is constant but subtle at first. They will be the kind of people to remember the little details about you and love your little habits or quirks.

💚When your Moon falls in someone's 2nd house there will be a strong sense of trust in both of you. You in particular may feel that you can completely trust the other, both because of their confidentiality and because of the certainty that they want to see you well. A lot of support, affection and stability between both of them will be constant when it comes to showing affection. A comfort in showing yourself as you are and even those sides that not everyone sees. In turn, they will feel that you are someone reliable who takes seriously the feelings of both of you in the relationship.

💚When the Jupiter-Moon conjunction occurs, it will not show a dynamic of strong camaraderie and joviality, but also genuine affection and appreciation. The Jupiter person will feel very comfortable, happy and more in touch with their emotional side next to the Moon person. While for the Moon person, tenderness will abound, since the other person will show their love and affection in an uninhibited way. Both will help each other to be more expressive and experience deeper and more positive emotions.Although Jupiter is not a planet that is associated with emotions or those more sentimental aspects of the relationship, this conjunction favors affection and greater tenderness & care in the relationship.

💚One of the aspects in which I have personally seen the greatest attraction is in those of Moon-Mars. From one aspect getting closer, to tense aspects, they create this need to have the other close. Both can be very touchy with the other, seeing themselves drawn to the other both at the beginning of the relationship and throughout it. Both natives have a deep desire for each other that not only encompasses physical or sexual levels, but also a desire to see them healthy and safe. They activate a protective instinct in each other and enjoy taking care of each other. 

💚When someone's stellium falls in your 9th house it is very likely that you have common interests. There will be differences between the two but they can be of great support for the other to see life with other tones or help each other to be more open to different interpretations. You will feel that boost of energy, that motivation to go after what you want and it can even help you be a little more positive when it comes to your future or when daring to take opportunities.

💚When a Mars-Sun conjunction occurs, it is very likely that the Mars person sees a lot of potential in the Sun person and wants to push and motivate them to stay active in what they perceive they are talented at. They will be fervently supportive throughout the process and may be frustrated to see Sun person doubting your abilities. They will be Sun person's drive to achieve everything they set their mind to.

💚This is something that I have seen a lot in those close to me, when your Mars falls in a person's 4th house, you feel that that person validates your anger, listens to you carefully when you talk about things that bother you and gives you that support and understanding. Likewise, I have seen that they even tend to feel calmer or that their anger decreases in the presence of the house person.

💚When a trine or sextile occurs between the Moon and Chiron, we see a relationship in which both people feel emotionally seen and accepted. Healing occurs naturally and fluidly, without the need for excessive effort, in addition to this, both will feel deeply supported by the other regardless of the situation or problem in question. The relationship is very special and transformative when it comes to their emotional world.

<- Go back to the masterlist

[mxrcurysb1tch]

‧₊˚ 🪐༘⋆ જ⁀➴ Astrology observations pt. III ‧₊˚🪐༘⋆

Finally back with another post… after a month… as always take what resonates and leave the rest!

⭑.ᐟ The way I like to think about the sun, moon and rising is this: Your moon is who you are when everything else is stripped away from you. It is how you process your emotions and it’s the filter through which you see the world. It is the baseline “you” that you revert back to when you are running on empty. The rising is who you are at your best. When you’re operating from your rising sign you are at your peak performance. It’s probably the you that feels happiest. It is also who you aspire to be in life, who you want to be seen as. The sun is the “middle piece” it’s essence floats throughout your entire chart. I think of it as a subtle influence that underlies every part of you. Whenever you do anything there is always a part of your sun inside that action, thought or decision. I also like to think that the rising sign is the way in which you express your sun. For example, if you’re a Gemini sun and a Leo rising, you will express your Gemini in a Leo way.

⭑.ᐟ Fire moons may have felt like they couldn’t express negative emotions growing up and had to always seem positive and upbeat. Now they might have problems with opening up or admitting that they even experience sadness and pain. They might be masters at putting on a front with people even when they are losing it completely inside.

⭑.ᐟ Venus dominant people/strong Venus ie, Venus in Taurus (or Libra) Venus in 1h, Venus as chart ruler. They might be preoccupied with looks, their own and that of their partner. They can be very picky when it comes to choosing someone to date, which can be a good thing but can sometimes stop them from making real deep connections with people. They need to be careful not to choose people just based on looks.

⭑.ᐟ Saturn and Venus conjunction can look like someone who is blessed with a lot of material wealth but feels like it could be taken away at any time. It could also look like someone who loves to be given princess treatment/spoiled but feels very guilty when receiving money and time from other people. Natives can also feel guilty about their own wealth and have a deep understanding that not everyone is as fortunate as they are.

⭑.ᐟ Women with Capricorn placements / prominent Saturn love getting tattoos and piercings. It’s something about the permanence of it and perhaps a little about the pain… as is Saturn’s “motto” no pain no gain.

⭑.ᐟ Pluto in the 7h- extreme jealousy in relationships. Either you attract it or you are the jealous one. Also a lot of instability with friendships. Moving friend groups a lot, not having stable friendships or relationships throughout your life. A lot of projection onto the other person, mirroring back their behaviours. It’s not a comfortable placement to have especially if it’s in synastry too.

⭑.ᐟ Sagittarius moons are super extroverted and love being out in the world BUT they also really love spending time in their rooms. Maybe this is bc the 2 sag moons that I know both have earth suns but I’ve noticed that they spend a lot of time in their rooms gaming and hiding away.

⭑.ᐟ Nobody talks enough about how funny Aquarius placements are, especially moon and sun. In my experience they are the best at coming up with hilarious inside jokes.

⭑.ᐟ People with planets in the 1h (especially if it’s the sun or moon or a stellium) are so genuine and you can tell they are not hiding who they truly are, they couldn’t if they tried. They have a kind of congruency to who they are, and not as many layers to peel back (this does not mean that they aren’t complex people, just that they are real!) What you see is what you get with them! Also they really tend to embody the planets that are within this house. For example, my friend is a cancer rising with her mercury in the 1st. I always thought she was a Gemini rising because she talks so much, even more than me as a Gemini rising LOL and she’s very analytical, but she just has a 1h mercury!

[iheartlargepatheticmen]

Husband Price is sad. The military fucked him over. No comfort, just angst. Sorry gang

----------------

You don't tie your shoelaces right.

The knots are crooked. One shoe is laced up a little wonkily. Not that you notice.

Price noticed, but he's not going to tell you. He can't stop looking, though. He's trying not to let it get to him, but it's one of his bad days.

He joined the military as a directionless seventeen year old. There was no real weight to the decision when he enlisted. He was just sick of filling out job applications.

And that's when his life started. That's what he always said. Johnathan Price's life started on the first day of basic training. In the past, he said it with a tone of pride

Now, it settles in the back of his mind. A sickening pit weighing behind his eyes.

Lacking a sense of self upon retirement was normal. He was in therapy for that. He was working on a renovation project in your home, a suggestion from his therapist to give him something to do with his hands. But as soon as work finished for the day, John felt hollow again.

His therapist said he was healing. But that didn't make sense to John. the effects of his service were the metaphorical wound, but wounds were isolated. A specific area that has been damaged in a specific way. But that's not what it felt like.

The effects of his job were ingrained into every part of his body. Ground into every pore, every string of connective tissue in his body. There was nothing about him, body or mind that wasn't connected to it.

Like the shoelaces.

A normal husband wouldn't even notice how his spouse ties their shoes.

A normal husband's mind doesn't jump to yearly presentations about mangled feet and ankles, to the list of complications that could spring from improperly laced boots.

A normal husband doesn't instinctually open his mouth to bark an order to tie them right.

A normal husband doesn't have to catch himself and hurriedly clamp his mouth shut before he does.

You and price were going out. A Saturday morning farmer's market. Something to get you out of the house together. He felt a wave of guilt.

This was going to be a sweet moment. He was supposed to enjoy it. To be present, with you. But his mind was elsewhere, consumed.

He marches. No. Walks alongside you, gets in the car, starts it, and drives on autopilot. His mind elsewhere.

God. The military affected him even now. The ability to march along, drive, and even make small talk whilst his mind was wrapped six layers deep. Unawares of his real surroundings was a hard earned skill. What did his therapist call it?

Disassociation. Right. Lots of soldiers do it.

You're talking. He's forcing himself to listen. He hums and responds to your small talk. Something about planting pepper bushes. Sure, love. He'll get on that.

You laugh, the unexpected reaction pulls him out of his mind. He glances over at you, confused, before fixing his eyes back on the road.

"What's so funny?"

You giggle, and he could feel your gaze on him

"You have this silly way of talking. You start a sentence practically shouting and quiet down to a normal volume as you talk. It's just a little funny."

Price furrowed his brow. His mind turned inside out again.

He was aware of that. Nobody had ever commented, though. Not even his nitpicky therapist.

He naturally spoke loudly. yet another example of his old job snaking into every part of his life.

For most of his life, he had to shout, loud and clear, to be heard. Whether it be to be heard over the roar of helicopter blades, to come through clearly through radio, or to be heard by his coworkers, whose hearing had degraded over years in the field.

But it's been two years since he's been in the field. He's been living in a quiet neighborhood. The loudest thing he encounters on a daily basis is a barking dog down the street. There's nothing to dampen his speaking voice now.

"John?"

His eyes snap up. He hadn't responded. Whoops.

"Sorry, love. 'Didn't notice I do that. I'll quiet down."

You say something else, maybe telling him it's okay. Maybe telling him you think it's cute. But he's consumed again.

John feels selfish.

He takes a smooth, controlled turn, forcing his face to relax. The GPS says ten minutes until he reaches the farmers market.

It's selfish of him to stay married to you. John didn't know how to be a man. Let alone a husband. He didn't know how to have a friend. Let alone a lover.

If he catches you doing something risky, the protective fear that shoots through him makes it impossible to dampen the urge to shout. He hates that. He hates that his first reaction to anxiety, to fear for your safety, is to bark an order at you. Like a soldier.

He coveted you softness. Your lack of involvement in the military. He hated that he couldn't be soft, too. He wanted to chastise you softly for accidentally pointing his nailgun at your feet. He wanted to laugh and coo at you to get down when he caught you climbing on an old chair to reach a shelf in the laundry room.

But he reacted to every shred of danger like your life was on the line. Like the lit candle dangerously close to your sleeve was going to put your name on a casualty report.

He can never meet your scared gaze after those moments, his voice still ringing in the air. He always takes the cowards way out and turns to walk away instead.

He pops open the center console and pulls out a tissue, handing it to you before he even registered you had sneezed. A moment of warmth graces his cheeks at the sound of you thanking him.

The GPS says five minutes. He tells you you're arriving soon. He placidly tells you to remind him to look for seeds for the pepper bushes you wanted. Already building a shopping list for the materials to build raised garden boxes to put them in.

That pacifies his guilt slightly. He loves you. He loves you like he's starving. He wants what's best for you. And he's terrified that what's best for you, isn't him. He banishes that thought by doing everything he can for you.

Like a barn cat, he dropped offerings at your feet in hopes you'll understand his ornery way of loving you.

Out of the car. Kiss on the cheek. Into the crowd. He never stopped being a soldier.

Those candles are expensive, you're so right.

He doesn't feel human.

Pepper shoots instead of seeds. He'll keep an eye out.

Is he human? He's lived a life so far removed from how humans are meant to act.

That lady was shoving people. Good job keeping your cool darling.

No. He is unrecognizable to his own species.

He kisses you on the cheekbone. He wonders if you know your husband isnt truly human.

You go home. He makes an excuse about a project that needs work before it gets dark.

John feels like a coward.

[queer-scots-geordie-dyke]

It's difficult to be in left wing/liberal spaces (online and off) at the moment because the conversation always seems to drift to Israel/Palestine and there is a huge assumption (in left wing spaces among left wing people) that because you are (for example) an environmentalist or a supporter of trans people you are automatically pro-Palestine and anti-Israel too. I find myself having to ignore A LOT of hatred toward Jewish people these days from places and people I used to feel almost completely onboard with. I am not Jewish but I can vividly imagine, if I were, how devastating this realization would be. How suddenly unwelcome I would feel. How it would make me think "wow there really is nowhere besides Israel that is safe to be Jewish".

I have found myself switching to donating to Israeli environmental organizations and Israeli LGBTQ spaces because the UK-based ones I used to support keep posting about Palestine and the evil of Israel and I just can't with that.

The feminist spaces, the environmental spaces, the LGBTQ spaces, musicians I used to love.. I've stopped going, I've unfollowed. It's depressing. But I will NOT support anti-semitism. I will NOT support terrorism. I will NOT support Arab Muslim colonialism and expansionism. I will NOT support revisionist history or fundamentalist Islamist ideology. I will NOT infantilize Palestinians and regard them patronisingly as simply poor helpless victimized brown people that righteous white people must defend. I just won't. I don't care how trendy it becomes in left wing circles. I won't do it. I support my Israeli friends and Jewish people at large. I sympathize with them. I agree with Israelis right to defend themselves, their right to exist as a country and their ancient connection to the land. I even understand their anger. And no that doesn't make me a "genocide apologist" or a "baby killer" or a "zio-nazi" (ffs) no matter how many times those accusations are repeated. Good grief.

I'd say 'I despair' but truly I do not. I do have hope. I hope some of my former friends and peers will eventually come around. I hope they'll be embarrassed and sorry. I don't expect it but I hope. I will continue to be an environmentalist. I will continue to be a feminist. I will continue to support LGBTQ rights. I will not be pushed out of those spaces or away from those things by another subject I disagree with. I understand enough about propaganda and history and peer pressure and group think to endure and try to be forgiving (in advance.) But lord I'd be lying if I said it wasn't disappointing and disheartening and occasionally terrifying seeing and hearing people I know (thought I knew) and love (loved?) suddenly donning keffiyehs and waving signs with the Star of David crossed out on them (or re-drawn as a swastika.) And the utter lack of willingness to even try to see things from another perspective.

I could have written every single word of this myself - it’s been an incredibly disheartening experience seeing people and organisations I had so much respect for, who have done and continue to do amazing work in other areas, lose the plot completely and forget and betray every single one of their own ideals when it comes to Israel and to Jews in general. It’s like this monstrous antisemitism was lying dormant in so many people, just waiting to be awakened and the fact that it was a massacre where Israelis were the victims that did it disgusts me on so deep a level I don’t have words adequate to describe it.

They can pretend all they like that it’s the war that they’re protesting, that it’s because they care so much about the Palestinians, but it’s all bollocks. Innocent Israelis were being raped and tortured and massacred and kidnapped and these fuckers were celebrating while it was still happening and they were rallying in the streets protesting against Israel before they’d even fired a single retaliatory shot and before their dead were even cold. They pretend to give a shit about Palestinians, but where the fuck are they when the people of Gaza are rising up against Hamas and being tortured and murdered by their favourite terrorist idols for daring to oppose them? If they can’t blame the eternal scapegoat, they don’t give a shit.

[natandacat]

Claudia talking to Louis while he's having sex with Lestat is still making me insane. How to better represent the complete absence of appropriate boundaries in rue royale. We all laugh at claudia' "two blood fat cocks" comment in s2 but in s1 she was fully having a conversation about how to kill lestat while he was balls deep in Louis. It's just another example of how enmeshed she is in Louis' sexual life despite his efforts to fulfill his protective roll at first (he's righteously upset at Lestat for first crossing that line by bringing her to the cruising spot to hunt and therefore being directly responsible for her sexual awakening).

Claudia's accusatory "which one of you is gonna fuck me" is not just a provocation, it's a sobbering and factually true assessment of her situation. The only times she explores sexuality outside of Louis' relationships (first with Lestat then with Armand), she is severely punished (first emotionally by lestat for Charlie's death then lethally by armand and the coven for the making of Madeleine). In her inability to make a companion or to control herself with humans, she fully depends on Louis for either direct sexual connection (talking to him while he's having sex with lestat or witnessing his fantasies of armand) or for the making of a sexual companion that she can safely engage with sexually (we see that she fears her lack of control around Madeleine's menstruation).

Incestuous dynamics truly are a product of isolation and lack of oversight that plague the nuclear family especially when they are as marginalized as the rue royale (a mixed race vampiric queer family) and later on claudia and louis as a single unit (codependent trauma bonded parent/child duo).

L'enfer c'est les autres, I'd even add l'enfer c'est la famille

[velmiraa]

SYNASTRY NOTES

Disclaimer: These are just my observations. If they don't resonate with you, simply read and move on.

Mercury compatibility is one of the most crucial factors in synastry. When your Mercury placements are in a square aspect, even casual conversations can quickly turn irritating, with both partners reacting in unexpected ways. For example, a Virgo Mercury might expect their partner to analyze, comment on, or even critique what they say, while a Gemini Mercury may simply brush it off with a “move on” attitude. This mismatch can leave the Virgo feeling frustrated. Squares between Mercuries tend to be easier to navigate when mutable signs are involved; with fixed signs, however, the clash can be much more intense.

When Mercury placements form a quincunx aspect, the two individuals often struggle to understand each other. They may offer perspectives that are entirely unfamiliar to one another, but a natural, intuitive connection remains elusive.

The Mars-Moon conjunction in synastry is often overrated. Although there's undeniable physical attraction, the Mars person can end up irritating the Moon person, turning even small disagreements into fiery battles. Of course, the specific signs involved can influence this dynamic, but generally, the intensity can be challenging to manage.

A Lilith-Sun conjunction in synastry tends to bring out the shadow side of your personality in the other person. I've observed this aspect in couples who had anxious-avoidant attachment struggle and they had Lilith-Sun conjunction as double whammy! It’s fascinating to see how closely psychology and astrology can intertwine in this case.

When one of your personal planets forms a conjunction with the South Node in synastry, it creates a sense of familiarity and often leads to rapid intimacy. There's a natural comfort and ease that emerges from these connections.

Soft aspects between Moon placements are among the best in synastry. They create a feeling of being at home in each other’s presence and lead to a deep, intuitive understanding of one another’s emotional needs.

Juno is often underrated when it comes to a man’s natal chart. Since Juno represents his ideal partner, and men tend to approach marriage with a rational mindset, it's natural for them to choose someone who aligns with this placement. For instance, one of my ex-partners had Juno conjunct my Sun, while another had it conjunct my Ascendant—while I had no major Juno connection with them.

Placements in the 2nd house can be especially telling if you value material security. Whether you’re attracted to the idea of financial stability or you’re a self-proclaimed “gold digger” (no offense), checking out your 2nd house synastry is worthwhile. It’s particularly promising if he has key planets like Jupiter, Mars, the Sun, or Venus positioned in your 2nd house.

If a man has a stellium landing on your Venus, it’s a strong indicator that you might be his dream girl. Such an alignment can make you unforgettable to him for a long time.

Hard aspects between the Sun and Saturn suggest a power struggle. Saturn demands obedience, yet the Sun naturally resists, leading to frequent conflicts. Whenever the Sun defies Saturn’s authority, the reaction from Saturn can be notably harsh.