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umbran6 · 1 year

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What if... Leo got a Cult?

For those of you who have seen some of my previous posts, this one is based on the What if… Leo Became a God? For those of you who know liked, reblogged, or both, thank you very much. For those of you who may not know, please click on the underline. But for those who just want a quick TLDR about that: Leo burns away his mortality while fighting Gaea, which led to him becoming a god.

Now, I know I’m jumping into possibly ridiculous territory. Leo just became a god. How the hell does he get a cult so quickly? However, I argue that this is one of the most vital components when considering any headcanon that involves one character becoming a god. Gods need domains, belief, memories to maintain their form in the real world. We see an active example of what happens when gods don’t have this through Pan — his domain had been defiled and belief in him had dwindled to the point he ceased to exist. You can't just have demigods like Percy reach godhood without explaining what's going to keep them around afterwards, so this is my attempt to explain as such.

Hera teaches this to Leo when she informs him of his newfound godhood. To truly become a god beyond the few years after his ascension, he needs to give people reason to believe in him. Hercules had his Twelve Labors which are still told to this day. Dionysus had his cult which actively praised him as the God of Wine, and his memory is associated with the twelve Olympians. More minor gods such as Triptolemus lean on a divine patron for their domains, becoming their lieutenants to help make up for a lack of belief.

Leo needs something to latch him into the real world, because once his friends die and people start forgetting about him if he doesn’t do anything about it, he will cease to exist unless he decides to piggyback off Hephaestus or Hera. Yeah, that course of action is not going to fly - Leo still has a grudge against Hephaestus for ‘going out to get milk’ for nearly all his life, and while Hera is starting to make up for the Nanny-From-Hell Incidents, he still doesn’t trust her.

Leo understands that but does not know how to achieve it. Nor does he know if he wants to achieve it. Aside from his own feat of destroying Gaea, he doesn’t see why someone would want to worship him. He hasn’t given anyone reason to. So, he decides to avoid doing so - if he was to be glorified, it would only be through ways he thought were right. Little did he forget a good portion of genre-savviness - A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

Instead, he focuses on the benefits of becoming a minor god. Not the supreme power, but more on the practical benefits. Practical, as in, Leo has everything he needs to live. He easily erases records of his past from the public eye, allowing him to be among mortals without any issue, though he does slightly gaslight his mortal family by popping up in front of them when they least expect it, slowly driving them to insanity. He doesn’t have to worry about money because he can easily conjure it. Our boy got himself the upgrade and glow-up in ways that he could never imagine and doesn’t have to experience the hardship he went through in the streets anymore.

To put it bluntly, Leo knows the negatives of immortality, that everyone he loves will die eventually. But now he can, ironically enough, live. Being able to pop into a country with a snap of his fingers, be free of searching for food every day, having the time to study whatever he pleases and indulge when he never could. All of those are miracles he never takes for granted. Leo loves being a god because there are just so many benefits and so little loss to him on a personal level in the short term.

So, he travels the world, enjoying what he could never appreciate in his voyage in the Argo II, bringing his mom with him for the ride while Calypso adjusts to the modern world. They backpack or rest in luxury, but Leo is not blind as he travels the world — regardless of his newfound godhood, he still sees the poor, the hungry, the sick. The people they used to be before he was aware of his status as a demigod, and before he gave his mom a second chance at life.

So, Leo helps. Out of empathy, he conjures food and builds shelters for those in need. He teaches what he can and offers resources that help people learn when he can’t teach while he quickly studies the subjects necessary to make their lives better. When violence breaks out, he is the first one to intervene, bringing order to bloody chaos. and crushing threats with the snap of his fingers. Normally the Mist hides the divine, but the world has become more open-minded as fantasy and the supernatural become more entrenched in popular culture. Mortals don’t recognize what he is, but they can understand that there was something more powerful hiding behind the face of a young boy. Children who are more open to the concept of the supernatural know his true nature.

The mortal world formally recognizes him when the media sees Leo put down a war between gangs with steel, fire, and blood, sparing the civilians caught in the crossfire and clutching the leaders by their neck in front of the press. Articles spring up and the rumors and videos lurking in the internet are given legitimacy by the public. They don’t know how to name Leo at first - and they initially draw on pop culture as a reference. Some call him The Boy on Fire, others more familiar with his philanthropy dub him The Architect. In the end, they settle for one title: The Ashborn, for his arrival was heralded by the ashes of those burnt by his flames. Debates regarding what exactly Leo is are furious - some claim he’s a spirit, others claim he is the reincarnation of whichever spiritual figure they pray to. Some think he’s a devil, but even they can’t deny the good he does. The people he saved praise the god hidden among humans, and the Cult of Ash is formed, though Leo keeps a strict eye so that it does not cause harm, physical or mental, to anyone.

Inspired by his travels when he comes back home while keeping a laser focus on his growing cult, Leo builds. A lot. He makes the first demigod cellphones and starts distributing them around the world to demigods in need, allowing them to communicate with both their mortal and supernatural loved ones, though he partners with Iris so that it has more support among the gods. When he comes across the Waystation, he is inspired to create similar locations around the world so demigods can have temporary shelter. He builds smaller versions of the Argo II so that demigods can travel between camps with ease. He becomes practically a one-man industrial revolution for the demigods, and that resonates through most of the world.

The demigods don’t know how to react to this. They’ve never had a god actively be interested in improving their lives before, much less so directly. To them, the gods have always been distant - important, of course, but not omnipresent and certainly never aiding them unless it was quid pro quo. But Leo is there. He’s talking to them, handing his inventions without charge. He’s helping, and they don’t know what to do because some of them feel they can do more than just say thank you.

The demigods, in their confusion, go back to the ancient ways of their predecessors when treating the gods to show respect and praise. Sometimes it’s a simple ‘Thanks Leo’ when a demigod uses their phone to call their mortal friends and family. Sometimes it is food burnt in his honor. Some decide to take a more modern approach and make things in his image. Yes, that means the demigods make Leo merch, including a Mythomagic card and figurine that makes Nico choke on air.

But what stands out are the prayers. Demigods start praying to him for safety, for his intelligence and strength when facing the challenges they face in life. When an attempt to transport three demigods to Camp Half-Blood goes horribly wrong, the satyr prays to Leo for protection. Leo appears and slays the horde in a single motion while he guides the demigods to Camp. The demigods he saves sing his praises while getting a more positive outlook of the gods, for now they know there is someone among the divine that advocates for them.

Much like the mortals, the demigods give him his own epithets, but they recognize the truth about his ascension. Those who focus on his work in improving the lives of the demigods call him Léon o Efevrétis - Leo the Inventor. For those who focus on the true power he wields, they call him as thus: Apocalypsis Leo. Leo of the Apocalypse, for he was the one that struck down the world when it dared to rise against the gods.

Leo can sense these prayers. He doesn’t know how to react to them because he’s never had people… believe in him. He’s used to hiding his powers, hiding who he is. Now people are idolizing him (literally - someone’s already made an idol figurine of him, and it makes him look too hot than he really should be) for who he really is. It feels good, but he doesn’t know how to react towards them. He doesn’t know if he is doing the right thing by allowing them to worship him, or that he should encourage them to focus elsewhere.

So, with a bit of advice from Hera, Leo turns towards the closest god to experience what he went through, Mr. D. Only he would be the one to understand the dilemma that Leo is going through, at least in passing for he himself was also idolized. Leo, with a bit of time, confides in him - mainly because he knows he can’t exactly go about spilling everything to the Olympian. But with time, he does bring up the problem - by allowing people to venerate him, was he doing the right thing?

Mr. D. can’t answer that. Because Leo’s cult is still growing in numbers, and the results of their actions were yet to be seen. But he does give a nugget of wisdom. That how he treats his followers defines him as a god, but if he cares about the independence of his followers, or how they act, then he should lead by example. Do not encourage them to glorify him but guide them. Whether he was worth being treated as a deity, and if that was the right thing, was a decision the mortals would make among themselves. Thus, outside of Hera and Apollo, Leo makes his first friend among the gods. With this, Dionysus also begins his path as the Camp’s official psychiatric counselor.

The Olympians' (and the other Pantheons) reactions are mixed. Zeus of course thinks that it should be put down, seeing it as possible threat against the gods. Those more reluctant to accept Leo think that if his cult keeps growing, Leo may gun for a throne among the council. His friends among the divine (his demigod friends are a mixed bag, but I'll get back to that later) see it as Leo getting the reverence he deserves as a god, the same reverence they went through during the times of Ancient Greece, Macedon, and Rome. Some just think the cult will devolve over time. The other Pantheons keep a close eye on both him and his cult, seeing him as a new and powerful player on the international stage of the gods.

However, Leo’s mortal friends are a mixed bag of responses. Reasonable, of course - they’re witnesses, and in some cases, unwitting conspirators to Leo’s ascension. They see their friend unknowingly shaping the world around him through his travels, the news articles and shrines being created in his name, and the legend that grows. And of course, each one has a different take on the cult that grows.

Annabeth is not worried about it. She is somewhat wary of the pace Leo is bringing innovation, for demigods never had to deal with modernization in the ways most mortals dream of. Oh, she loves all the new phones and the fact that she doesn’t have to constantly rely on more impractical methods for communicating with her friends. But she wants Leo to allow other inventors to grow, and for the cult not to persecute those who want to create and stand on their own two feet.

Percy sees Leo as his ‘what if’ — what could’ve happened if he chose godhood. He sees all the inventions that Leo makes and how he is making life so much easier for everyone, and he can’t help but compare himself to him, wondering if he could do more. Whenever some of Leo’s worshipers see their subject of worship, they radiate gratitude. He doesn’t know what to make of the cult, but he feels a bit envious when he sees the smiles on everyone’s faces whenever Leo shows up.

Frank, Hazel, and Reyna, while trying to be friends with him, don’t know how to handle the cult. The cult is gaining influence in New Rome, and its slowly starting to show as more statuettes of Leo appear and more prayers are sung. It speaks volumes of the cult’s growth when New Rome's Senate officially pardons Leo about the Eidolon incident without any prompting. The best they can do is that Leo keeps his cult in check, which he is more than happy to do so.

Unfortunately, and ironically enough, its Jason and Piper that cannot accept, or at least overcome the cult, but for two separate reasons. Regardless, it has a very devastating effect on their relationship because these two reasons are heavily linked to them as characters.

For Jason, Leo has unknowingly made his job as Pontifex Maximus extremely more difficult. Leo has indirectly set a higher standard for the minor gods - minor gods aren’t just allowed to exist anymore. They should have influence on their lives, or they should somehow benefit the demigods. Gods such as Tyche/Fortuna and Nemesis still have their own domains that are seen day-to-day, but the more minor gods are heavily criticized for their inaction, with Jason bearing the brunt of said criticism. It’s a slap on the face for Jason when he has spent weeks trying to get a single minor god’s temple approved by the Senate and now must beg and grovel for funding, while the only reason Leo’s worshippers haven’t built him a temple is because they want the guy’s approval of it.

Leo, although doing his best to maintain neutrality, knows the truth behind Jason’s oath — that he had done it to save his and Percy’s skin when they were at Kymopoleia’s mercy. When the minor gods try to blame Leo for the lack of the oath’s success, he argues in his own defense - the people chose to worship him out of their own free will and Jason was still doing his best to uphold the bargain. But when they ask Kymopoleia about the deal, they get a lot more context and see Jason as unwilling and selfish, seeing his lack of success as more him trying to find a loophole in the oath he swore.

Jason doesn’t see the bigger picture. All he sees is that everyone is more than happy to sing Leo’s praises for being the hottest god on the block, while everyone is hating him for making sure that the minor gods get their moment in the sun. This slowly starts to build more resentment as the monopoly-board with all the minor gods' shrines seems to be just a dream. In an ironic twist, Jason is now resentful about Leo being the golden boy in the eyes of everyone while he’s the one being overlooked, which was the exact opposite situation when Leo was a demigod.

Piper, in the meantime, is more resentful of Leo as a whole. Mainly because she sees Leo growing more famous, and more people are asking her about trying to speak with Leo rather than her. She’s reminded of a similar situation with her and her father - that she was seen more as a link to him rather than as a person overall.

Furthermore, much like Jason, she is also feeling overshadowed. When people speak of their quests, they don't give her the respect that she deserves. They don't discuss Piper giving Festus sentience to fight Khione, because nobody else on the Argo II can’t really accept it —Piper’s charmspeak never showed such a degree of power before. Her role in defeating Gaea? She claims that she ‘put Gaea to sleep’ with her charmspeak, but the thing about an auditory power is that… you can’t exactly hear it from several stories high up, and Jason’s supporting claim is looked upon with suspicion because he is her boyfriend, of course he’ll speak on her behalf. Only Leo can testify otherwise, but outside of that she is given the ‘Princess Peach treatment’ (and no, not like the new Mario Movie), with most of her role being downplayed.

It doesn’t help that her cognition of Leo is very much against the view his followers have of him. She and Jason always viewed Leo as… more of a jester than the inventor he always was. Good for jokes and getting along with, not exactly one she could see as engineering a plot to kill a goddess. She treats the cult’s viewpoint of Leo as a joke. In the meantime, the cult views him as the leader of innovation, the one who killed Gaea and brought an age of information to the demigods. This ends up in her getting involved in several arguments which leads to a nearly borderline fight with Leo’s followers. Either way, she’s convinced the cult needs to be shut down and Leo is ridiculous for allowing it to flourish.

It’s tragic, because they were the ones that cared the most about Leo, and they cannot accept the ways everything close to him changed. They, who should’ve accepted him unconditionally, are the least tolerant of him changing. They cannot accept the new status quo and want a return to normality that can never come back.

When they confront Leo, it's not pretty. They never really argued, for Leo always held his tongue whenever he was frustrated, always willing to talk less and smile more when he wanted to lash out. It always was like that, him shutting up when he wanted to make a comment that would sting. Not anymore.

Leo doesn’t have a good reason to shut down the cult, and neither does he want to. They haven't hurt anybody in his name, nor has he encouraged them to do so (and he’s been keeping a tight grip on that). He would advocate for Jason and Piper, but shutting down his entire group of worshipers just because his friends didn’t like them? Especially from Jason, who was supposed to honor all the gods, Leo himself now in that category? No.

What occurs is an between friends that have completely different views of the future. Leo recognizes that there’s no returning back to ‘the good old days’ — in his point of view, there weren’t any. Jason and Piper believe they’ve lost their friend to his newfound godhood… but they never had him in the first place. They had the façade, the mask of jokes he put in front of the world, so they didn’t have to see his true reaction. Now that people seem to be appreciating him for his abilities, for what he has done and how he treats everybody, he finally decides to take it off and verbally starts swinging. It’s the first and last time they fight before we get into the Trials of Apollo.

This cult doesn’t initially have any impact… until Trials of Apollo. And Leo’s presence, though subtle, is practically everywhere throughout most of the book. Rather than Apollo landing in a dumpster, Leo tweaks things slightly so that he ends up landing at a close mattress. When Apollo gets to the Jackson residence, there’s a small shrine Sally put up - not out of worship for Leo, but out of respect for what work he has done to protect demigods. Apollo stumbles upon a newspaper rambling about the Ash Cult.

Here’s the thing where things get ridiculously funny for those in the know. Apollo doesn’t remember that past six months, and therefore thinks Leo is dead. He unknowingly mutters a prayer to Leo, thinking Sally’s shrine is to honor his memory and not the god. When he gets to Camp Half-Blood, he’s shocked to see demigods using phones and thanking Leo. He sees the smaller versions of the Argo II, which just transported a bunch of demigods from Camp Jupiter. He sees a temple with a statue of Leo which Apollo mistakes for a monument. The Triumvirate’s attempt to silence demigod communications through Harpocrates is shattered because Leo is several times stronger than the fading god with his vibrant worship in a world where the gods’ power remains in the memories they laid upon the human consciousness.

Most interactions whenever Leo is name-dropped can be summarized as such:

Apollo: I’m sorry for your loss. He was the greatest hero I’ve ever known.

The Campers: Eh, its ok. We’re sure he’s going to show up soon.

It comes to a head when we get to the part of where Apollo is being forced to open the gates to the Grove of Dodona. During his attempts at stopping himself, he does his best to resist the command. He starts praying for somebody to stop him, because there was no way in Tartarus he would willingly cooperate with Nero. He prays to his sister, to his father no matter how much Apollo may hate him. He hopes that anybody will appear - Will and Nico, preferably with backup of a hundred demigods and Percy Jackson. He latches into a small hope the prayers the campers utter. He hopes that Leo shows up soon.

It seems nothing happens. The gates still open. In the distance, Apollo sees the Colossus Neronis lumber towards Camp, showing up several minutes ahead of schedule. Nero still tosses that lighter and ignites the Greek fire, which spreads towards the hostages at the stake. And for the sake of drama, I’m going to switch it to Apollo’s first-person point of view.

For a second, everything’s falling apart. Nero starts to lug his guard like an oversized potato sack. The fire is starting to roar in its toxic green, burning through everything that it can touch with its bare hands. There’s no stopping it - unless magic’s used, Greek Fire will burn through everything it can consume. If I already felt enraged when Nero tossed the cigarette lighter to the ground, my heart is now sinking as I look into the distance, feeling the ground tremble at my feet.

The Colossus Neronis. How did forget about it? The statue’s already marching forward, the hundred-foot-tall masterpiece hitting the magic barriers of Camp Half-Blood with a blade the size of a ship rudder. Though my legs are getting me to Austin, I don't know how the heck we were going to beat this thing and put out the fire in time.

Then… I see something. For a second I think I'm going mad due to the smoke, but then my eyes focus, getting a picture that was crystal clear for just a few precious seconds. A figure soars across the sky, glowing gold that is tinged with red as it carves through the blue sky. It collides with the Colossus, and the statue staggers back at the sheer amount of force for a few seconds.

I heard of Deus Ex Machina. I appreciated it, derided it, criticized it, and loved the trope when it occurred on mortal media. I loved being one when I really wanted a chance to shine. But I was never on the other side, witnessing it in action until now. I can’t help but freeze in awe as the figure stopped the enemy with a single motion.

The Colossus stares at the figure for a few seconds, but that was all the figure needed. They unsheathe a sword which glows with the same aura that enshrouds its wielder and slices towards the machine. The blast it unleashed was thin, yet shined with the intensity of a laser, and the figure sheathes the blade.

Then the Colossus is split straight down the middle as soon as I blink, one half superheated to the point it was a mirror of the horizon before both sides fell towards the distant hill. A threat that would’ve stomped Camp Half-Blood is defeated in just a few seconds. Numbly I could hear someone shouting in frustration, but who it was, I didn’t pay attention.

The figure turns, and it takes me a second to realize - somehow, they were facing me. Then in a second they fly where I’m at with the speed of a fighter jet, landing next to the flames. The figure’s still covered by that blinding light, but the shadow of their palm is visible, and it sucked in the Greek fire like a vacuum until there was nothing left.

Loud clapping resonated across the grove, and it takes me a moment to register who its coming from - Nero. Nero’s clapping at the figure with a rare expression on his face - one of respect.

“So, the rumors are true. A new Ascendant has reached the ranks of Olympus.”

“And I heard rumors that the supposed dead are walking. Guess it’s time to confirm that they’re going to stay rumors.”

I don’t have a chance to react at the implications, and neither does Nero. The figure grasps the emperor by the collar and tosses him to the air in one smooth swing of their arm, too fast for Nero to defend himself. The figure unsheathes their sword once again and this time the motion is too fast for me to keep track of. When its done, only the blessing of immortality prevents a pink and red puree of organs and blood from spilling out out when the figure kicks Nero in the chest as a final coup de grace. Instead, Nero is shattered into a pile of golden blood and dust.

Meg screams. The hostages start to wake at the sound, shaking off their varying degrees of unconsciousness at the peal of the alarm. Austin’s the first to register his surroundings, and there’s a smile on my son’s face. “I knew you’d come. You’re always looking out for us.”

Part of me wants to take the win. But I know Austin’s eyes aren’t focused on me. No, they’re focused on the figure, whose aura is slowly dimming with each passing second. Reverence. Respect. Worship. Emotions seen so rarely in demigods these days are plain to see in my son’s gaze.

“Thank your father. His prayer wouldn’t have allowed me to pinpoint your location.” The figure’s aura vanishes completely, and suddenly everything makes sense in the most horribly right way.

Austin did something that was akin to a chuckle. "But you are. Your temple wouldn't have been raised at Camp if you weren't."

My mind was still looking at him. Curly hair that was black like ashes. Light brown skin that sometimes reminded me of copper. A smile that radiated mischief in a way that would rival Hermes. All of those are staring right back at me, and now part of me wants to slap myself for being an utter idiot.

My mind flashes to Sally Jackson’s shrine, the picture and statuette surrounded by food. Then it moves towards the monument at Camp Half-Blood. The gratitude people showed whenever they made a call with the cellphone they used. Nico giving a weird look at the deck of Mythomagic cards that featured Leo. Harley’s confidence when I expressed my condolences at losing his half sibling. “It’s okay. He’ll be here soon.”

Leo never died. Or at least, he didn't die in the traditional sense of the word. Because the person in front of me isn't the same nervous boy who traded an impromptu masterpiece of an instrument for the Curse of Delos. He also very much isn't the demigod who slayed Gaea.

Leo Valdez is a god. The third Ascendant of Olympus. The thought passes through my brain like one of my father’s lightning bolts. My legs turn to jelly, and I barely see Leo catching me with a look of worry on his face before everything turns black.

#leo valdez #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo hoo toa #percy jackson #pjo #trials of apollo #rick riordan #annabeth chase #toa #frank zhang #hazel levesque #jason grace #piper mclean #nico di angelo #reyna avila ramirez arellano #Leo becomes a god au #dionysus #apollo (pjo)

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princess-of-the-corner · 8 months

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MLP Rewrite AU - Forgotten Friendship (if you didn't do it already)

OKAY SO UH

I absolutely rewrote this as a whole Thing in the universe and a chunk of things got changed so let's go over those before I get deep into the actual rewrite

1.) I had a separate fic in the AU where Sunset went back to Equestria and talked to Celestia already. Though it /was/ unfinished I remember most of my plans for it? So I skipped that here.

2.) Clover and the Memory Stone..... Clover already had completely different Lore surrounding her, both in-canon and thanks to my 'Hearth's Warming Cover Up' conspiracy theory, and the Memory Stone gave me a plothole headache. So I scrapped both.

3.) I made Wallflower's motivations a touch more relatable and out of her control.

4.) Unfortunately no Trixie in this but I've had fun with her elsewhere and should probably write her into something else lmao

SO ANYWAY

When Sunset gets to the beach and realizes no one remembers her having become their friend, she does manage to out-logic them. Pointing out inconsistencies and where they /should/ remember her being there because, looking into their memory, she's just erased out but not replaced well.

The biggest one being asking how they contacted Twilight when the Sirens were causing problems. The group pauses for a moment, but realizes that there was a journal but they can't remember where they got it. Sunset pulls out said journal, which gets them to listen a bit more.

She asks what they remember about the friendship games, to which Sci-Twi mentions remembering Sunset yelling at her for disrupting the games with portals. She says that it was harsh, but considering the whole event could've hurt her since it knocked her off the motorbike she understands in hindsight.

The rest of the group are like 'wait, what?' because they don't remember Sunset being in the games and couldn't fathom 'mean bully Sunset' being part of the games with them. But when asked who was paired with Rainbow for the motocross portion of the games, no one remembers. Except Sci-Twi, who says it was Sunset.

Sunset tests this and prompts further with- okay so I had a Thing™ in my rewrites that in the previous school year Pinkie and Sunset had been in the school play together. So as an inside joke they casually quote their lines at one another. Sunset kicks the habit off, reciting one of her lines. Pinkie answers, but stops. Her mind trying to remember, but all she can see is herself alone on stage, reading lines to no one.

Pinkie is Not Handling This Well™ and has dropped into straight hair mode and is hugging the fuck out of Sunset at this point. She forgot a friend! How dare she forget a friend?!

She asks them about after the games, because I had a fic re: finding Sunset's Human counterpart. And they remember her, but why would they look for her without prompting from their Sunset?

Sunset tests how far this goes by calling Flash. Just to see if it's an 'everyone' or a 'just the main characters' thing. He also doesn't remember making up with her. But with a little prompting of 'who gave you a sword for Christmas'(long story lmao), she gets him to listen. And he thinks about it more and says he remembers everything from when they 'broke up' and were fighting, but nothing about their friendship before that. Even though they would've been friends and hanging out before the 'break up', right?

Okay I'm going on a tangent trying to set up how the memory thing works lmao but anyway

The Rainbooms decide that they need more help than this and decide to talk to Princess Twilight about it. This includes everyone going through the portal because they're freaked and paranoid they'll forget again! (will be using 'Twilight' for pony and Sci-Twi for Human for now)

After some shenanigans of most of them getting used to Horse Mode™, Twilight does some prodding and questioning and experimenting. She actually /does/ know a spell that might cause this, but it's one she's not an expert on. Thankfully she can just do a quick teleport across town and grab someone who knows the spell a lot more.

Rarity my darling it's time for you to shine!

After quickly updating her, Twilight suggests that it may be the spell she used on the chandelier. Which Rairty agrees.

She elaborates, saying she had found the spell in a book up in the Crystal Empire. Technically it's a Crystal Pony spell, but Unicorns can replicate other Magics.

Anyway: The spell is used to copy a memory into a gemstone. She used this to make the tree root chandelier that's in the Castle of Friendship. There was a chunk of trial and error as she got the spell right. She gives examples of what went wrong, like her initial trials on Rainbow volunteering 'erase my memory of the Daring Do books so I can read them for the first time again'. Sometimes it erased her memory of the books, sometimes it erased her memory of the pony. The spell is even specific enough to differentiate different 'versions' of someone, such as 'Twilight as a Unicorn' vs. 'Twilight as an Alicorn'.

Now, the spell isn't /supposed/ to erase memories, just make a copy. But it can fuck up and erase. And unfortunately, Rarity can't reverse the spell without having whatever gemstone holds the memories.

Ofc this means they have to figure out who did this! Clearly since more Humans are getting their Pony Magics, it should be a counterpart to a Unicorn or Crystal Pony. They just have to figure out who. Rarity muses that, as the spell is an incomplete version, it's likely they tested it out and had it backfire on them a lot. Backfired spells can cause low-energy and even some pain, but also it means the person may have accidentally erased memories of themselves.

They go back to the Human World, leaving Twilight and Rarity in Equestria and keeping them updated in case something goes wrong, and decide to flip through the previous year's yearbook to look for someone they don't remember. Pinkie eventually points out Wallflower, and everyone knows that Pinkie's memory for people is very good so if she doesn't remember....

They lure Wallflower to the school gardens, and Sunset does the memory dive to look into it. She sees that Wallflower had been accidentally activating the spell, erasing herself from people's memory. Had been getting more and more hurt from the unfinished spell. But since she didn't know how to fix it, why not use it?

This causes a bit of a fight because Sunset's like 'the FUCK do you have against me?!' and Wallflower yells back about how it's unfair that someone like Sunset can just 'be nice' after so much meanness and get super popular while people like Wallflower who were always nice get entirely forgotten.

Pinkie calls her out on this of like 'hey! I consider you a friend why not come to me!'. Wallflower is very cynical on this because Pinkie considers everyone a friend but there's no way in hell she knows /everyone/ as intimately as a friend should. Which, yeah, Pinkie can do some wild shit but there's people she's closer to than others. But she's always open to being closer to someone! Or to helping someone out, including helping them find someone they may find a true friendship in! Wallflower still could've come to her!

Wallflower is starting to see that she fucked up, but she can't return their memories of Sunset. She doesn't know how. So she does the one thing she thinks she can do, give them a fresh start!

Ofc Sunset tries to block this and gets hit and. well.

It erased memory of the 'Human-esque' Sunset. Which means, as far as Sunset's aware, she just ran through the portal after her fight with Celestia and is mid-breakdown.

Not a fun experience!

Sunset has no idea what's going on. All the others are mad at Wallflower. They try to fix it and explain that there should be a gemstone. Wallflower offers her necklace but.... there's nothing in it. No memories, no Magic whatsoever.

Sunset is VERY confused but trying to help. the others are getting more upset and worried because 'oh shit she doesn't remember jack shit of the last six years and we still don't know how to fix it!!

But since they tell Wallflower to stop zapping everyone goddamn it they drag the Pony!Twilight and Rarity over to try and fix this shit.

Wallflower: "Oh god I'm sorry I don't deserve friends after all I've done how could anyone ever forgive the awful things I did???"

The Rainbooms+2: "Well. You didn't try destroying the world so you're really not even in the top 10 of wildest people we've befriended. Also we may have a Problem™."

Anyway! Rarity manages to figure out what crystal the Memories are hiding in! They're hiding in Wallflower herself. Crystal Pony bodies mimic crystals/gems so they can do the same thing.

Now knowing where the Memories are, Rarity can channel the spell and return the memories to where they should be.

Sunset and Wallflower get to talk for a bit about Hey That Was Fucked™.

But also like. Sunset knows what it's like to be alone. She left her home when she was still a kid, and wound up in a whole other dimension. One where, even if she makes some friends, she could never fully befirend them because she couldn't tell them /what/ exactly she was. It's different now, but she'd faced that before. She knows lonliness.

And Wallflower feels guilty because she never really put together how alone Sunset was. Thought she'd just skated by so easily in the friends department.

And Sunset helps her realize that there's more to friendship than just kindness. Being nice helps, of course. But you need to reach out. You need to put in an effort.

But at the same time, everyone you meet holds the potential to become your best friend.

#mlp rewrites

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clonerightsagenda · 2 years

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I was going to save this for one of my podcast girls week entries, but I wrote it out and then thought, why sit on it, so here is today's ladies night content before I go on a walk: Alien zombie Alana Maxwell is an underutilized concept and here's why.

She'd be cool with it. Maxwell works with AI who are ported between containers without that changing who they are, so she's primed to view her mind and memories being rebooted in a new container similarly. I don't think she'd have any identity crises. Also, her dad was a preacher, she's not on good terms with her family, and she tried to ditch the holiday party, which makes me guess she's ex-Christian. How better to spite your Christian parents than coming back from the dead in a distinctly non-God honoring way? This could generate some interesting conflict with Lovelace, who is significantly less cool with it and might be annoyed and dismayed to see someone else taking alien resurrection in stride. Bonus points considering I hc Lovelace as being raised Catholic and the soul question being an additional level of identity angst that Maxwell immediately dismisses.

The aliens have motive. It's clear that watching through their surrogates' eyes doesn't mean they understand what they see. Once Lovelace gets back to Earth, they might want help with context. They seem to have grasped that humans don't like multiple copies of a person running around, and of the others they have on file, they dislike Kepler and Cutter, and Rachel and Riemann were there when Cutter killed one of their meatsuits, so Maxwell seems like the one they'd have the least aversion to. Then she would immediately try to talk them into roadtripping to see things in person, which is how we can get all the other interactions I'm describing.

The aliens have opportunity. It's not stated what the crew did with Maxwell's body, but the likely options are either tossing her into the star or freezing her on the station, which later went into the star. Lovelace was frozen (albeit alive) when she got scanned, and Word of God is that the Dear Listeners are perfectly capable of creating a functioning surrogate from a corpse. If you don't want to go that angle, almost everyone got hit by multiple rounds of stellar activity in "Persuasion". However, the corpse angle creates an opening for...

Fun body horror. I am a 'came back wrong' enjoyer and think it would be very good if the aliens got their scanned corpse up and running but didn't fuss too much about the cosmetic stuff. Maxwell's skin is colder than it ought to be. She has a gnarly scar on her forehead. Neither of these bother her much, but she's not a fan of the tingling neuropathy left over from tissue damage or the brain fog from the bullet that went through her head. (A fun parallel to the issue she first helped Hera with. Hera is now in the brain damage club with Doug, Miranda, and Maxwell. She hates this.) She can fun-terrorize Jacobi with perma-cold hands and real-terrorize Minkowski by making her look at the hole in her head. She's honestly over it but it's still funny to watch her squirm.

The Hera thing. Hera was furious with Maxwell immediately after the mutiny, and although her opinions softened near the end of the show, I think she'd be furious again if Maxwell actually showed up. She embraced non-human solidarity with Lovelace and now here's Maxwell. What is she supposed to do, have non-human solidarity with her too?? Did Maxwell become an alien to spite her??? The nerve. I got the impression that Maxwell saw her actions during the mutiny as for Hera's own good - better than deleting her, right? - just as she was willing to ignore Hera's wishes and erase her memories in Memoria. She'd probably insist on that if they had a chance to argue about it, and I could see Hera throwing the restraining bolt incident in her face. ("If you're so comfortable putting something into people's brains to make them more useful to you, I'm sure you won't mind hearing how Jacobi got that scar on the back of his neck.") Could be juicy, is my point.

Meanwhile, Jacobi: Of course this is my very good friend Maxwell back from the dead. Yes this has implications for the version of myself I listened to die screaming. No I'm not going to unpack that.

Finally, I think it's a missed opportunity that Pryce and Maxwell never got to meet. I suspect pre-mutiny Maxwell would want to believe she was ethically better than Pryce while pre-finale Pryce would see Maxwell as a bleeding heart amateur, but after all that? I think they'd still get each other's hackles up, but there's room for some interesting interaction, especially as I think Miranda's memories would start trickling back after a while, and immortal alien surrogate Maxwell is basically her white whale. Miranda trying to navigate social niceties enough to determine an acceptable way to ask someone for tissue samples. Maxwell might be willing to swap some for custody over a few of Pryce’s experimental AIs.

In conclusion, while I enjoy postcanon scenarios dissecting people's trauma, I think it's fun if while everyone else is grappling with the Horrors, Maxwell is also there enjoying herself. *commercial voice* Add an alien Maxwell to YOUR postcanon today.

#for 12 low payments of $0.00 #perpetual perpetual ladies night #wolf 359 #visibly undead Maxwell dragging an alien doing a really bad human impression around Florida: :D #everyone else seeing this: D:#spending my last day of winter break blogging furiously

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kaibutsushidousha · 7 months

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Memory in Children: Mechanical Choices (Sagrada Reset 3) - Epilogue

[INDEX]

Two years ago, on April 28th, Asai Kei met Souma Sumire.

It was around 6 PM on the tetrapods.

2 years and 142 days later, the two were on the tetrapods again.

Considering the time erased by Resets, that gap would be longer. But regardless, the two were together again on August 28th.

This time they were in opposite positions. Souma was sitting on the tetrapods and Kei walked to her.

If she were on the rooftop of the southern school building, he would have brought Haruki with him, but since Souma was on the tetrapods, Kei came alone.

It was around 6 PM, just like when they first met. But since they were in a different season, the color of the sky was completely different. The tetrapods were engulfed by the sunset on April 28th, 6 PM. But on August 28th, despite the sun starting to sink, the sky was still blue. Things aren't like they were back then.

Seeing Kei's standing figure on the tetrapods, Souma smiled.

"Hi, Kei."

Souma's voice. As leisurely as it was 2 years before.

Kei laughed, baffled.

"Hi. It's been a long time, but not to you, I guess."

"Yeah, to me it feels like we met 3 days ago."

"When was that?"

"In my mind, Mari's mother tried to leave Sakurada 3 days ago."

"Ok, that's all sorted then."

Mari's mother tried to leave Sakurada on August 13th. Three days after it was—August 16th. That was when Sasano Hiroyuki photographed Souma Sumire.

Kei put his hands on the ground and sat next to Souma. It was like he was retracing her every movement.

"You've grown a lot taller. I'm a bit surprised."

"It's because I used to be short. Now I'm my class' average."

"How have you been doing in these past two years?"

"It's been alright. A lot happened. Both nice things and tragic things."

"Are you getting along better with Haruki?"

"A lot better than 2 years ago. Haruki changed. She's a pretty normal girl now. And she'll still change more."

"Yeah."

Souma smiled. A regular smile with no good or ill intent.

"Are you fine with that, Kei?"

It wasn't a question he'd hesitate to say yes.

"Of course. It's great that this is happening."

And yet, Souma disagreed.

"But didn't you fall in love specifically with the Haruki from 2 years ago? The invariably simple girl with a sense of self? Didn't you fall in love specifically with the girl who resembled the concept of pure good?"

"I'm not sure. I don't remember anymore."

Souma put on an amused smile. She had many smile variations.

"I can tell you went through many different experiences and got quite strong."

Kei didn't clearly understand what she meant by "strong". He thought he knew before but he could tell that he was misunderstanding it. It was difficult to understand the meaning of strength when all your previous knowledge of it was wrong, he thought.

Since he couldn't tell, his answer wasn't a yes or a no.

"I can at least tell that I changed in some way."

"Do you have an example?"

(Do I...?)

After some pause, Kei answered:

"If a girl invited me to watch the sunset with her, I wouldn't refuse."

"Even if you have a novel to finish?"

"Yeah. I can take my time to read after it's dark and I'm back home."

(What would have changed if I had gone to watch the sunset with Souma on the day of our last conversation? Would I have managed to get a deeper understanding of her?)

"I have two questions for you.", Kei brought up.

"Only two?"

"For now. Two are enough as a starting point."

"Fine by me. Then what's the first?"

"It's about something that happened two years ago, before you fell into the river. You recorded your voice to send to yourself with Tomoki's ability."

ー Can you hear my voice?

Souma sent this simple message to herself two years in the future.

"I did, what about it?"

"I never got to hear the exact time. When you will get the message?"

Souma Sumire shifted her gaze to her thin wristwatch.

"In about 5 minutes from now. I set it for 6:30 today."

"Makes sense."

Now he could tell why she prepared that.

It's the Swampman question. Was the girl in front of him the real Souma Sumire or someone else who just happened to be identical in every way? She had the tools necessary to get a concrete answer. If she was Souma Sumire, she would get the message addressed to her. And if she wasn't, she wouldn't.

(That must be what this is about.)

"And what's the second question?", Souma tilted her head.

Kei nodded and asked:

"Why did you die?"

An accident is not a reason to die when one has Future Sight as their ability.

She chose her death. In cold blood. Immediately after a Reset. She intentionally timed her death in a way Kei and Haruki's powers combined couldn't hinder it.

Despite the dark subject, the sky's blue remained as clear, deep, and quiet as always. Souma's answer had the same tone as this sky.

"She had her reasons why her death was necessary."

The girl sitting next to Kei said "She".

She referred to the Souma from two years ago as "She".

"Reasons necessitating death.", Kei repeated dodging the pronoun detail.

"Yes. Reasons to die a sudden and sloppy death that would look like an accident."

"But you're here now."

Just as Souma Sumire planned two years ago. It wasn't an ordinary suicide since she went out of her way to revive later. What was the need to die?

"Everything was necessary. Both her death and the origin of her clone, me."

"Why?"

"That's a secret. Let me keep it to myself. It won't be for long."

He didn't even want to imagine what reasons would necessitate a girl's death.

But he had to. Because Souma Sumire died. Even if the girl next to him is the real Souma Sumire, it doesn't change that she died once.

"You have the right to hate me. I did enough to deserve it.", she mumbled with hints of solitude.

He didn't have an immediate answer.

Souma Sumire's death scarred Haruki—or to be more accurate, Kei was the one scarred by her death. But hurting Kei simultaneously hurt Haruki. So much so that it distorted her ability. It scarred Haruki so bad that she could no longer use her ability by her own command.

Souma knew this would happen. She knew everything.

Kei sighed and agreed.

"Right. I can't forgive you."

What she did wasn't justifiable.

Souma slightly lowered her gaze.

"I'm sorry. I mean it. But I really had to. I can't stop what was set in motion, even though it hurt you and will still hurt you more."

(Of course it will. She chose to die and come back to life. That can't be the end of the insanity. It was obvious there was more to come.)

Kei looked into her eyes with a prayer in his heart.

"What's your goal?"

She lowered her eyelids before speaking.

"Say, Kei, do you know why I named the black stone MacGuffin?"

The MacGuffin. The stone used to unite Kei with the persons with the necessary abilities and to indicate Souma's machinations. A worthless pebble, just charged with overblown rumors.

"A MacGuffin is the prop that invites the protagonist to the plot."

The plot device that leads a specific individual to where they can be the story's protagonist. A MacGuffin could be a mysterious suitcase forced on their hands, an indecipherable letter, or anything of the sort.

Souma nodded.

"I chose you to be the protagonist of the story I arranged. Every event this far has been in preparation for that."

"And what's the plot you prepared?"

That was her goal.

A girl's reason to die and come back to life.

"If you got that black stone, then you already know."

Under that painfully blue sky...

Souma watched Kei with eyes deep as the sky itself.

"The owner of the MacGuffin will control all abilities in Sakurada."

What she said was overblown.

Absurd.

Kei sighed again. (Not very convincing.), he thought.

Next, he asked:

"Did you get to hear your voice?"

Souma Sumire's voice from two years ago. ー Can you hear my voice?

It was already past 6:30. She already had her answer.

She slightly tilted her head.

"Which do you want the answer to be?"

Late to the job, the lowest part of the sky was starting to turn red.

"I'm sure your choice will be the right one."

Her voice was quiet, but certain.

#sagrada reset #memory in children #mechanical choices #souma sumire #asai kei

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sxnburst · 2 years

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FINAL DREAM (day 11)

What did you think? You feel all caught up now?

"Yeah, but I already knew the story about Journey to the West."

Sure, but there's a difference between watching it from a box and re-experiencing everything by watching it in real time. Yes, this is a dream, but you have a better understanding of your duties, your journey with your friends, and everything else.

That makes sense, Sun realizes. It was always easy to disconnect and feel as if you were watching somebody else's story other than your own.

Do you feel any different?

"I still have questions."

Mmm, I'm sure a lot, but you're not ready to hear them yet. You're not ready to hear about Tang Sanzang and what happened.

"But...."

Look. Your friends---.

And Sun does look. He sees Monkey King and Zhang San. They're sitting beside Sun's sleeping form. "I turned into stone?"

Yes, Consider it something of a reverse birth. You were born from a rock and you'll be born again from a rock.

"They look so sad. They don't know that I'll be waking up...Do they?"

No one knows. Still they remain hopeful.

Sun watches as San places a hand over Sun's back and Monkey King is telling him of things that's been going on around them. While Sun slept, the world continued onward.

"Who gave me that flower?"

People call her Mary Sue. You know her as Yolanda and she reintroduced herself, giving you her full name. She stopped by just before her memories of you were fully erased. She placed it there, heh...Said you'd be cuter with it on. It....did bring out a very adorable stoned-sun out. Very cute.

Your relationship with her will be very different, Sun. Your relationship with just about everyone around you may shift just a little bit. You'll have to be prepared for that.

"What do you mean?"

You'll see when you wake.

Another day, he spots Eiden. Eiden is worried. Unlike Monkey King who hid his worry and concern deep down, Eiden's is shown plain as day. Much like San. They were both so much alike in the way they SHOWED just how concerned and fearful they were. Was Sun ever going to wake up? Despite Eiden's worry though, he pokes the stoned monkey's cheek and smiles.

He visited quite a bit. They all did. Through the rain, through snow, through the wind. There wasn't a day that they just...didn't show up. Zhilan and Aether as well. Every morning, afternoon, and night they'd check in on you. Talk to you as if you were awake. When they stepped out for the day, they still would say 'I'll be home before sundown' and when they returned home it was always 'I'm back!' or 'Welcome home!' Stories were still being told by Wang Yi, San, Monkey King, and everyone else you enjoyed hearing stories from.

"Is that why Wang Yi left the book there?"

Yeah. Sometime the book would change, but he'd place that there and others would read it. He has good taste and it sounds like he knows exactly what you like. Every book he's left behind were all books you loved hearing about.

"Belial can't break my out of there, can he?"

Mm, he can't. He's a funny one. Him and Monkey King, I enjoy watching things they tell you and things they do for you. Though...I suppose I don't agree with the things he's written on you. Underneath it all, you can tell he cares about you.

Belial was a bit like Monkey King in the sense he tried to play it off as not worrying too much. Subtle hints easy to miss by actions that spoke the complete opposite of what they did.

"it's....was..Zhilan's birthday."

Ah, yes. You did miss it, didn't you? Zhilan's birthday was on the 12th of this month. He went out to celebrate it with his friends. He went to the theater with Xerxes Break and I have to say, I was surprised to see how close they were. Though, I bet you felt something like that was bound to happen.

"What do you mean?"

You're more observant and intuitive than you think. You should ask Zhilan and Break when you wake.

Look at all your friends. I'm really glad that you made them. I'm also glad that someone was able to visit you in your dreams too.

"Byleth..."

Yes, your first friend. Well, first friend that you at least remember with your current memory. To you, she is your first friend, the first person to actually reach their warm hand out, and the first person to show you kindness. You were guarded when you first met her, but she was the one that helped you quickly learn that the people here are not going to harm you. It's how you were trusting of so many people after her. She taught you so much and...well, it only felt right that we'd allow her into your dream.

"You....were the one who brought her in? Is that why I saw her child self and her other selves?"

The two of you are more alike than you'd think.

"Where is she?"

....

.......

"Sun. I'm here."

#But even though this is his final dream he'll remain asleep #remain watching through all of his journeys #isola event mistified #isola drabble #drabble

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skye-huntress · 16 days

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She’s so Cheeky for a Commoner Volume 3 Thoughts

This is the last volume from Claire’s perspective, ending with Part One of the original.

First off, can we talk about the fact that for a brief moment after Rod’s proposal when she was thinking about what married life with Rae would be like, she actually considered allowing Lilly to be Rae’s mistress? Don’t do that! Lilly always gets the short end of the stick. First, she fell in love with a girl so devoted to another, she wouldn’t even consider looking another girl’s way. Then the stuff with Alter, and Lilly feeling a need to atone for the actions of another person her own father created in her head. Then there’s who knows how many times her own god used her as her personal meat puppet. And the series ended with her being teased with the life with Rae she always wanted, but it was all TAIM trying to erase Claire from history. Give this girl a break already, don’t just tease us!

I’m surprised Kristoff chose to turn, but then again we didn’t really know much about him. I just condemned him when I learned he was directly involved in the human trafficking.

So for once Pepi saves the day with the siren abilities she picked up from Misha, and her magical instrument that she managed to sneak in. Thane also got one more chance to look cool before he lost all his relevancy. And Loretta has our condolences for having a crush who is so completely dense, even Rae feels the need to apologise to her rival in love.

So Catherine was an assassin all along, going back to when she would have been barely more than a toddler! I don’t even think she was old enough to safely start learning basic magic, much less doing something as advanced as erasing specific parts of someone’s memory in real time while fighting. That’s even more monstrous than what I originally thought but reinforces what I already thought about Clèment. He’s far more arrogant than clever. He didn’t have the brains to plan out and cover his crimes properly like Dole and Salas could. If it weren’t for his status and Catherine’s magic (which isn’t all powerful), he might not have lasted as long as he did. And he’s such an asshole, of course his own children readily betrayed him.

Speaking of Catherine’s magic, not invisibility, but erasing memories?! Memories are an integral part of what makes us who we are, for better and worse. And Catherine tried to erase herself from Claire’s and everyone else’s memories as part of some misguided attempt at atonement. But it didn’t work, and I’m sure Claire gave her an earful later when they reunited.

I’m also not on board with doing that to Clèment. It permanently removes him as a threat, but he got off easy. He deserved to have everything taken from him, from his title to his freedom, knowing what it is that he lost, and that he’ll never get any of it back. Ideally, he should also know that it was his own fault he went from apparently the third most powerful noble to a nobody with nothing, but that would definitely be expecting too much of someone with his ego.

You know if Emma was actually described as being a much older woman, I would have suspected she was the mother of Dorothea. She’s the only character we know who is fully immune to magic.

So even though Catherine went through all the trouble of making everyone think it was an accident, Clèment was such an arrogant buffoon he couldn’t help giving up the game for a cheap jab at Dole. It’s a wonder he lasted as long as he did.

The second half of Dole’s segment mostly pertains to his belief about the afterlife, though I wonder how much of that would even apply in a world where people are artificially reincarnated over and over again.

I’m somewhat disappointed we don’t really get Claire’s reaction to the knowledge Rae (allegedly) reincarnated from another world, although I suppose I can understand why she was more focused on all the scheming to place her as the hero of the revolution to avoid her execution. In a way, I can understand why her pride wouldn’t allow her to go along with that original plan, but going along with that farce of an execution is where pride turns to just pure stupidity.

The most relevant part of Claire’s misguided decision was her false belief that Rae would be just fine without her. The reality is in Rae’s previous life she wasn’t really living, she was just existing, going through the motions without any hope of achieving anything resembling happiness or even contentment. Then she met Claire and devoted her second chance to ensuring Claire had that future, even opened up her heart to the idea she would be part of that happiness. Rae finally had hope for her own future again, and Claire unwittingly almost denied her that. If Rae were that capable of moving on with someone else, the Demon Queen wouldn’t have existed.

Good for Pepi that she’s finally started making moves on Loretta and actually getting somewhere. Since they showed up for Rae and Claire’s wedding, I didn’t have to worry about their survival, at least.

Once again, we have to talk about the double standards. Forget what happened with the Aurouseau’s, Pepi was not only innocent, but she also helped apprehend Clèment and effectively saved the King’s life, and she still lost her noble status. But Kristoff was a confirmed participant in his father’s crimes, and he still gets to be a viscount? The whole “sins of the father” thing is BS enough, but the kingdom can’t even be consistent with it.

And through the power of basic human decency, Pepi and Loretta won the battle for the rear gate, but still lost the civil war. You tried your best, girls, but unfortunately no matter how much more interesting you’ve become, you’re still just minor background characters.

So even without the masked man “disguise”, Alter is still referred to by male pronouns? Is this an indication of Alter’s actual gender? I’m cool with it if it is, but I feel like it might need to be clarified, especially since the original series didn’t identify Lilly’s alter ego differently to her since their reveal.

In between shaking my head about Claire’s cluelessness about how hopeless Rae actually is without her, I did find it amusing how much Rae made Salas and his men shit themselves with her one-woman raid (with a minor assist from Ralaire as I recall).

It was interesting to hear a bit more about what other characters were up to during the time since they went off to do their own things.

Manaria once again proves she is too powerful and too smart to be a main character of this series.

I suppose Misha is right that Rae is a little too used to failure. She was once a corporate drone with all the cynicism and pessimism that comes with that existence, to say nothing of her messy love life. But that is a side of herself Rae doesn’t show much.

One particular peeve of mine, we know Rod loses an arm but we never got it clarified which arm he lost! Left or right, that’s all I needed to know to adjust my mental image of him, but I was denied that tiny bit of information. I was worried I’d have to wait for the manga to get to that point. FYI, it was his right.

So Claire and Rae kept diaries. I was wondering about that, Catherine’s magic can affect memories, but surely it couldn’t affect written records, so something as simple as a diary could easily thwart her plan to ghost everyone. That and Manaria’s frankly broken magic. Claire is absolutely right though, her memories, good and bad belong to her and make her who she is, and Catherine has no right to take them, even if it was just to punish herself.

I do hope that Loretta and Pepi get to play their instruments again, and there’s no reason why they shouldn’t. The arts are an important part of freedom of expression for any society. We know that Thane goes on to perform concerts, so perhaps he’ll have a hand in helping them get back into music. Oh, and they definitely had their wedding sometime after Rae and Claire’s.

#i’m in love with the villainess #i'm in love with the villainess

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

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Ghost!Child!Reader with Monty, Chica, Roxy, Sun/Moon and DJ?

Separately and general headcanons please

-duck 🦆 anon

(i think i sent one like that btw but idk if it reached you)

Monty

The first time he spots you, he thinks you’re a lost kid causing trouble.

So he chases you around, trying to catch you (and breaking things in the process).

When he finally does, he realizes he can’t scan your guest profile. It registers as nobody in front of him.

So he tries to physically hold you--but his hands just went through air.

“Huh? What’s this?!”

You have to explain to him that you’re, unfortunately, dead.

He’s so confused. You died here? In this mall that was supposed to be safe??

That enrages him. He doesn’t understand how he’s seeing you and nobody else is.

Though you briefly possess him, trying to calm his rage. Which accidentally scares a little kid who saw him with black eyes.

It works and you lead him to his green room to talk. Just so he understands your situation better.

Glamrock Chica

After falling down into the sewers in her broken state, it took her a while to get back up.

But at some point, you find and reactivate her.

She realizes her voicebox is gone and is reasonably freaked out by everything else that happened.

Not to mention you were a ghost she could somehow see.

You try calming her down the best you can, leading her through the sewers.

She wonders how you know this place so well...but..in one of the pits she sees deactivated Alpha STAFF bots and finds your bones among the pile.

That answers her question, and she starts sobbing.

Or rather, her voicebox is making static noises but she's shedding oily tears.

Again, you comfort her, reassuring her it’s not her fault.

Roxy

Her eyes see lots of things--almost too many things. It gets overwhelming when she can’t switch the feature off due to persistent bugs.

But the one time she finally does, she finds something new in her line of vision: you.

Immediately she can tell you’re a ghost.

She wonders what happened to you and becomes a bit sad when you admit you can’t remember it much.

Since only she can see you, you both become good friends and talk in the greenroom together oftbn.

Though she’s more distraught over your death than you, considering she was made to keep kids like yourself safe.

“I-If you died here, why hasn’t anything changed? Do people not know? Did they forget?? Are they just..acting like nothing happened?!”

“They reported me missing, but nobody’s actually looked for me. I don’t even know where I am...so that’s probably why I can’t move on.”

Sun/Moon

No matter who’s active, they’re both distraught to find you, a child that was murdered and hidden in the ballpit.

The sight made them have a really bad breakdown and they needed “emergency maintenance” to erase the memory of seeing your body.

After your remains were cleared out of the daycare, you continue to haunt it and find Sun/Moon again.

But he genuinely thinks you’re an ordinary child wandering around after closing.

You try explaining that you’re dead, though he only giggles, thinking you're overexaggerating.

“Oh I see..all that Fizzy Faz can make anybody keel over!” Sun would say.

“More like “dead asleep”..as you should be as it’s way past your bedtime.” Moon scolds.

Neither of them could understand. You could recount every detail of the day they found your remains and they'd think you were telling a ghost story.

But for their sake, you stop and decide to play along and pretend to be a living human child.

DJMM

He finds you roaming about the Fazcade after dark, wondering how you were walking through arcade machines and able to float down to the next floor without hurting yourself.

When you approach his stage he tries picking you up, but his hand phases right through you.

You have to explain that you’re a ghost, and he frowns, understanding what that meant.

“Oh no..I’m sorry, buddy. Was it..I-I hope it wasn’t anything I did!” He worries.

You reassure him he didn’t crush you or do anything to harm you.

You just accidentally fell to your death. But you couldn’t move on for some reason.

Maybe it was your adoration for this place that made you cling to it.

DJ can’t blame you. Accidents happen all the time in the Plex.

The most he can do for you is play music you like, while you keep him company in the dark arcade.

#clanask #duck anon #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's x reader #fnaf sb x reader #fnaf security breach x reader #montgomery gator #glamrock chica #roxanne wolf #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf djmm #ghost reader #child reader #platonic #headcanons #tw death #tw child death

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randomshyperson · 3 years

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The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - Chapter 23 - The Witch's Cabin (Part Two)

Thanks to my gif maker and friend of course, @abimess.

Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.

Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. || Chapter Warnings: +18, smut.

Series Masterlist || Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist

Chapter 23 - Part XXIII - The Witch's Cabin (Part Two)

You weren't sure if Wanda wanted some time from you as well, as you watched her walk through the garden, sit alone on one of the benches while looking at the rocky mountains in the distance.

What you were sure of was that she was distressed. So much so, that even as she blocked out her emotions, strands of her discomfort escaped, and you felt your body shiver slightly.

Sighing, you put your hands in your pockets, resisting the urge to join her as you watched her from the balcony.

"Here, Miss." It is Charles who says beside you, with a mug of reheated tea. You raise your eyebrow in confusion, and he smiles tenderly. "I thought a hot drink would bring you some comfort." He explains, and you mutter a thank you as you accept the cup.

Charles stands beside you, watching the landscape in silence for a moment. When you take the first sip, and sigh lightly, he asks, "Did it help?"

"Not much." You reply. "I appreciate the intention, but I won't feel good over tea until she is."

It's a simple statement. And Charles just murmurs in understanding, not needing you to explain further.

There is another pause, before he speaks again.

"Then I think you should talk to her." He says.

"She said she needed some time alone." You retort, scratching the back of your head with your hand quickly, and placing the cup on the large one on the balcony. "I'm giving her space."

"Oh, I see." He murmurs. "Are you sure that the alone time included her protector?"

You give a short humorless laugh. "You know, people have weird ideas about this whole thing. We're still two separate people. Wanda can have her time without me."

"Of course she can." Charles agrees quickly. "Forgive me, I think I expressed myself badly. I didn't mean to say that you two aren't independent, or to put me on the same level as sensationalist wizards who don't know anything about ancient magic." He speaks, causing you to frown. "I only meant that it is my understanding that scarlet witches and their patrons have a special relationship. If I remember correctly, it is written that the patrons bring a profound sense of safety and comfort to their sorceresses when present."

You feel your cheeks flush, and you look away quickly. Charles doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he says nothing.

"So...do you think she'll like it if I talk to her?"

" Well, she's your sorceress, you know her better than I do, Miss Stark." Jokes the man. "Don't let an old book tell you what you must or mustn't do."

You bite the inside of your cheek, lingering your gaze on the crestfallen figure of Wanda meters ahead.

"Thanks for the tea, Charles." You mutter before starting to walk toward the gardens.

To avoid frightening her, you make a noise with your steps, but Wanda only lifts her head when you are practically at her side.

And you swallow dryly when you notice the tears on her face, approaching calmly to sit beside her.

You don't have to say anything really, and you don't mind waiting for her to tell you whatever she needs to. But Wanda just waits for you to sit down, and then she leans against your body, sinking into your embrace as you run your hands around her.

She relaxes immediately with your touch, sighing. You think Charles was right after all.

Her tears cease, drying against your shirt, and she inhales deeply against you.

“Thank you.” She whispers, making you smile shyly, as you run your fingers through her hair.

"For what?" you whisper back, half-joking, not knowing exactly what you've done.

"For staying."

You sigh, hugging her tighter as your fingers gently scratch the back of her neck, and Wanda shivers against you, before relaxing completely. "I told you I'm never leaving."

You stand like that for a few more moments, until Wanda starts to move again. She pulls her face away to look at you, and you just smile at the intense way she does so.

"I'm sorry." She says, and you frown in confusion. She straightens up before continuing, taking a deep breath, as if she is finding the right words. "With everything Agatha showed us, I finally understood that I never had a choice on my fate. And before, when I was going to erase your memory, how angry you got, I didn't understand why. Because to me, I was making the right thing, sparing you somehow. But now, I understand." She confesses quickly, gesturing as her eyes fill with tears. "It was your choice. And I don't think you would ever forgive me if I moved on without you, when you chose to stay with me. And as much as I hate how dangerous this is, and I don’t want you to get hurt, you have the right to choose to stay by my side if you want, because those are your feelings and I had no right to try to take them away from you."

You nod, sighing, and raise your hand to her face, caressing her cheek.

"It's okay, darling." You say. "I haven't been angry in quite some time. But I appreciate that you apologized."

You move closer, kissing her softly on the lips before pulling away. "I guess in the end I broke my promise about not touching you before the apology." You joke making her smile. "I couldn't help it, you're just too irresistible."

Wanda laughs shyly, raising her hands to your neck, looking at you fondly.

"Do you want to talk about what we saw?" You ask next, and she sighs, nodding.

You spend the next few minutes talking. Wanda feels bad about the whole thing. About all the lies, schemes, and about never having had a real choice. No matter what would happen, she was always going to become the Scarlet Witch. And no one asked if she wanted that.

She didn't talk about Natalya, and you respected her time.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Agatha completely for the things she did." Wanda confesses a moment later, you two are sitting side by side, looking at the mountains. "But a part of me will never be able to hate her entirely. And I detest that."

"It doesn't bother me that she matters to you, Wanda." You say. "Even with everything that happened, she really believed she was doing the right thing. And now she's helping us. And I know you've spent a lot more time with her than I have." You clarify quickly, and Wanda looks at you with a slight frown. "I just mean that even with the pain she caused me, it's okay for you to still care about her. I won't hold a grudge over it."

Wanda nods, reaching your hand up on the bench. She entwines your fingers together, and moves closer to lean against you, resting her head on your shoulder.

"Can we stay here just a little longer?" She whispers. The sunrise is approaching. You were going to say you would stay as long as she wanted, but your speech becomes a yawn halfway through, and she laughs softly. "Maybe the bed would be better."

You laugh softly too, and Wanda squeezes your hand before moving to pull you back into the house.

When you go through the kitchen, Agatha is there. She and Wanda exchange a look, but neither of them says anything, and you just follow the brunette in front of you upstairs.

You think you'll sleep until lunchtime at least.

//-//-//-//-//-//

You grunted in pain as you fell to the ground.

"Everything okay there, Stark?" Agatha's softly teasing voice made you give a wry laugh.

"Perfect." You grumbled as you stood up, wiping the dust from your pants. "Again please, and try something stronger this time, Agatha, I think you're starting to go soft on me."

The witch laughed, raising her wand quickly. The next spell hurt more than the first.

It had been eight and a half weeks since you had been in Agatha's house.

Things were going well, if you could put it that way.

After that day when Agatha showed the memories out of the pensieve, she and Wanda were on thin ice, and no memories were shared again. They treated each other politely, with occasional sharp pins, but nothing ever too aggressive.

Meanwhile, Agatha was really helping the two of you to become better sorcerers.

You think you never learned so much magic at once, but you weren't complaining.

Even Charles was helping you with potions, a passion he seemed to share with Erik.

And with the intensity of your studies, Agatha hoped that soon you would be worthy of pulling Rowena's diadem out of the hat, but she never seemed to find the right spot, and it was making everyone slightly frustrated, even if no one would admit it.

You haven't heard from the order.

With Fury's death, the radio went silent. You believed that no one but him had been arrested, or killed, because nothing was said in the Daily Prophet. But it wasn't easy to ignore the tightness in your chest at not knowing for sure.

Now that you were practically considering yourself a master at dueling, even if Agatha wouldn't admit that you had far more knowledge in defense against the dark arts than any other witch your age, you expected her to continue the lessons in Occlumency and Legilimency that Erik never managed to finish.

"You're not ready for that yet." She replied, for the third time you brought up the subject, and you sighed impatiently.

"But professor-"

"Erik taught you the basic level of that magic, Y/N." She interrupts, moving her hands so that the objects in the kitchen begin to prepare lunch around you. Wanda is in the house library, studying with Charles, and you had spent all morning practicing dueling spells, and learning to become more resistant to them as well.

Your whole body was sore from the times you fell to the ground when you were hit by stupefy and the most common duelling spells , but it was better than being knocked out at the first attempt if you had never practiced before.

"A master of legilimency would be able to dominate the minds of an entire city at once. You're not ready for that kind of magic yet."

"But I don't need to control an entire city, Agatha." You argue back, following her through the kitchen around the house. "You can just continue from where Erik started and-"

"Enough." She interrupts by turning to you, but she doesn't look angry, just impatient. "You won't leave me alone if I don't agree won't you?"

"No."

She sighs. "I can teach you Occlumency, Stark. But I won't teach you Legilimency, it's...against my vows."

You frown in confusion, "Your vows?"

But Agatha gives you only an insinuating look, and you understand.

As Legilimency is directly considered a forbidden, and dark magic, it would break her vow to only do the right thing by the scarlet witch, her promise to Natalya.

You've never been more curious to know how Agatha got around the perpetual vow for so many years, but the way she’s back walking tells you she's not going to share that with you anytime soon.

"Charles is a master legilimens." She continues talking, moving downstairs where the library is. You in her trail. "He can teach you."

"Really? That 's great!."

As you arrive at the study room, the huge piles of enchanted books surrounding you, your gaze immediately seeks Wanda's.

As Agatha tells Charles to teach you, you approach the girl, finding her distracted with a reading. You smile at how lovely she looks, and can't help but move quickly closer, and steal a surprise kiss from her that makes her sigh.

"Hey, you." You say as you pull away, and she giggles as she relaxes.

"Hey, you." She repeats as she stops you from moving away by holding you by your arm, pulling you back to kiss you properly.

"Hey little love birds, your first lesson in Occlumency is going to be tonight." Agatha warns in a tone of teasing, as you give an embarrassed chuckle breaking away from Wanda, leaning on the pilaster next to the chair she is sitting in. "And you, Miss Maximoff, can practice your natural legilimency skills with Charles on the same schedule as well."

"Yes, ma'am." You and Wanda answer together, and Agatha gives a warning sneer before turning, squeezing Charles' shoulder gently before leaving.

The man turns to you. "Miss Stark, please do not spill mud on my parchments."

You look down to your clothes immediately. Well, it wasn't your fault that Agatha had knocked you to the ground so many times. You were a mess, and you raised your hands in a sign of surrender.

"Sorry, Charles." You mutter as you walk away. "I just came to give my beautiful girl a kiss, I'm going upstairs to take a shower. See you two at lunch."

You give Wanda a wink of goodbye before walking away, being careful not to bump into books along the way.

//-//-//-//

You grumbled softly in pain as you removed your tangled sweater, realizing that perhaps you should have asked Agatha to go easy on the spells instead of challenging her.

Distracted, you startled when you heard knocking on the bathroom door, but relaxed completely when you saw that it was only Wanda, who smiled and leaned against the doorframe, looking up at you.

"Hey, babe." You greeted her, working to remove your shoes. "Do you want anything?"

"No, I just decided to take a break from the books." She replies. "But I would like to know how you convinced Agatha to teach you Occlumency so easily." She comments in a mixed tone of teasing and impressiveness and you laugh softly as you kick your untied shoes away.

"With my charm of course." You return, making her laugh.

When you motion to remove the shirt, Wanda bites her lips. "Allow me."

You stand still then as she steps up to your front, looking at you with the same tenderness that you look back.

Wanda works on the buttons of your shirt, and when she is finished, she pushes the material away, sliding it down your arms until it falls to the floor. You blush slightly under her curious gaze, but say nothing, letting her move the straps of your bra, and then open the clasp, soon the garment falls too.

She moves her fingers down your waist, to reach the zipper and buttons of your pants, and unzips them. You move timidly to remove the item as well, taking your panties with it.

Wanda gives a soft giggle, and you look at her curiously.

"What?"

"It's nothing." She says shyly. "It's...I just realized that it's the first time I've seen you naked."

You blush, but respond. "I wish I wasn't covered in dirt."

"I wish you weren't covered in bruises." She retorts sharply, and you swallow dryly. The purple marks around your body are a result of the spells, but you don't care about that. The pain isn't exactly strange after all.

"It was worth it, though." You retort softly, and think that part of you is really referring to getting stronger, learning new magic. But the other part, the part that knows it's all for the girl in front of you, adds, "You're worth all the effort."

Wanda looks away, swallowing dryly as well. "Don't say that."

"It's the truth, Wanda." You say simply, and she sighs, straightening her posture softly.

"But you don't have to say it."

"You want me to lie then?"

"I just don't want you to say it so proudly." She retorts almost scoldingly, and you bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to argue. She sighs, and puts distance between you, turning toward the exit.

You clear your throat, and call out to her. "I don't want you to be angry." You murmur. "I can't help it to say things like this, you know that."

Her expression softens. "I'm not angry, darling." She assures you. "I'll just get a towel for myself."

She leaves before you understand what that implies. Wishing you didn't look like a complete mess, you quickly step into the tub you left ready as soon as you arrived in the bathroom, and sink against the hot water, waiting for Wanda to join you.

Wanda doesn't take long. She leaves the towel in the sink, and smiles at you before she starts to undress, right there in front of you, as if she had done it a thousand times before.

You blush, but don't look away. And she doesn't seem to mind that you follow every movement of her hands, although her cheeks redden when she has her breasts exposed in the air.

Soon, she steps into the tub with you, taking the seat in the opposite corner, smiling softly as you hug your legs, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry I said that, I know you don’t like it and I shouldn’t have." You mutter. But Wanda just shakes her head, steeling herself to move closer, her hands touching your forearms.

"Don't worry." She says. "It's the truth after all. You are my knight in shining armor, and I can't do anything to change that."

You laugh softly, and Wanda smiles, stroking your skin with her thumb.

"I want to try something." She says next, making you look at her curiously. "Something I read about it this week. Can I?"

"Of course, darling." You say, and then she is pulling your forearms gently so that you stop hugging your legs, and you sink your hands into the water, waiting, as Wanda moves her fingers, guiding you so that you sit properly, and she sits between your legs. "What are you going to do?"

You ask curiously, even half embarrassed to have her so close, but Wanda just smiles, moving her hands out of the tub, where she makes the soap magically fly to her.

"First, I'm helping you get clean, babe."

She says, dipping the soap in the water before bringing it to your skin, lathering your shoulders gently. You relax under her touch, looking at her intently.

"Can I do the same to you?" you ask in a whisper, and she smiles.

"Of course."

Wanda raises the soap at face height, and with a flick of her hands, the item doubles itself to another. You raise your eyebrow. "Show-off." You tease, making her chuckle, as she hands you the other soap.

For the next few minutes, you help each other soap up amidst giggles, and stolen glances. Wanda's touch is as gentle and affectionate as her gaze, and you are so comfortable that you don't even have time to think about how intimate the whole moment is.

As you finish washing off the soap, Wanda begins to run her fingers along your shoulders. "Will you stay on your back for me?" She asks lowly, and you murmur in agreement before shifting to obey.

Without seeing her, your curiosity makes you tense up, and Wanda smiles as she moves closer, her hands on your waist. "Relax, darling." She asks against your ear, her fingers moving up your skin slowly as you obey.

"Do you remember last summer?" She begins, and suddenly you are feeling soft twinges on your skin. It's Wanda's magic. You don't know what she's doing, but it feels good. Little shocks around your back.

You just murmur, relaxing against her hand.

"When Papa taught you about mirroring magic, I mean." She continues, her tone low and soft. "So that you could take my damage from possible attacks."

"And you were so upset about my wrist breaking when you fell off a broom that you put me to sleep in Pietro's bed." You complete making her laugh.

"But I didn't send you away because I still wanted you in my house." She retorts and you laugh in agreement.

"Yes I do, darling." You say next. "I remember everything I went through with you."

Wanda bites her lips, blushing at your statement. But she continues to talk beyond that.

"There is another kind of spell like that." She says. "Charles was reading with me a line that said If the protector can take the pain, the witch must learn to heal the pain as well. You understand what I mean?"

You sigh softly as you feel the pressure of her fingers increase on the points where you knew you were injured. But it's not discomfort that you feel. It's a different sensation, like an electric shiver that turns into a gentle tightness.

"Yeah, I think so. You'll be able to heal my wounds now, right?" You ask with your eyes closed, instinctively leaning even closer against her hand as the pressure increases, and Wanda just murmurs in agreement, concentrating on her task. "That's pretty cool."

"I still need to learn it properly." She continues. "And I don't want to have to practice."

You chuckle softly at the comment. Of course she doesn't. For her to learn to heal your wounds, you would need to hurt her so she gets to practice, and that possibility is horrible for Wanda.

"I'm sure we'll find an alternative to that, Wands." You murmur lazily, so relaxed against her touch that you begin to feel sleepy.

Wanda continues for a few more minutes, and when she finishes, she goes around your waist with her hands pulling you gently against her, making you sigh.

"How do you feel?" She asks with her face resting on your shoulder, her arms hugging you as you relax against her.

"I feel incredible, love." You reply with your eyes closed. "Thanks to your magic fingers."

Wanda giggles, turning her face to kiss your neck, her lips touching your skin softly and making you smile and sigh.

"Can I make you feel even better?" She asks as she returns her mouth to your ear, playing with the lobe between her lips and teeth, making you hold your breath. "I could use my magic fingers."

You bite back a smile, nodding. Wanda inhales softly, settling herself better against the tub.

Her hands go around your belly with her fingertips, moving upward. You gasp when she reaches your breasts, stimulating your nipples between her fingers.

You let out a satisfied murmur, and your body gradually warms up.

When your nipples are hardened enough, and Wanda has you shivering, she wraps your breasts with her full hands, pressing the flesh against her palm, and you gasp, throwing your hips forward unter water.

"Wanda." You sigh softly as she continues to play with your breasts. "Don't tease."

"I'm not teasing darling." She murmurs back, returning the gentle caress against your nipples. "I'm just getting you wet."

"Just... touch me." You whisper, starting to move back into her, the tightness in your belly growing, and all she did was touch you softly. "Please."

Wanda lets out a sigh, like a giggle, and you don't have to look at her to know she's smiling. "I didn't know you were the begging type, babe."

You grumble under the teasing, but Wanda finally lowers her hands, and you shiver in anticipation, forgetting to respond.

She runs her hands down your inner thighs, but never where you want her. And when you sigh impatiently, she chuckles against your ear.

"Say pretty please again." She teases and you feel your cheeks burn, quickly turning your face to the left, putting distance between her mouth and your ear. All Wanda does is chuckles again, but this time, her fingers go straight to where you want her, caressing your entrance and you gasp.

“M-more.” You ask but she just stands still, her fingertips against your clint while her mouth kisses your shoulder and her other hand goes up to your breast, to repeat the moviments from earlier.

You have trouble keeping your eyes open, and when you try to force her finger against you, she just moves them away with a giggle while you grumble of dissatisfaction.

“Wanda.” You warn, but her hand just rests against your thigh.

“C’mon, babe.” She says. “You sounded so hot when you said please. Do it again.”

“No.” You retort stubbornly, but your affected tone makes her smile, her fingers moving closer to your warm center but still not touching and making you clench your closed fists.

"Say, please fuck me." Wanda whispers against your ear, and you feel a sharp, tightly pulsation in your belly, sighing heavily. "And I will."

But you didn't want to give Wanda a taste of victory, even as you came so close to begging for her touch. All you did was press hard against her, your ass fitted against her hot core, and she gasped in surprise and arousal, digging her nails into your thigh.

"Cheater." She murmured breathlessly, making you smile, but your advantage was short-lived when she pressed your breast into her palm, and without any warning, slid a finger into you, entering easily through both the water in the tub and your arousal.

"Oh." You moaned loudly, one hand gripping the edge of the tub as Wanda moved slowly inside, making you squirm. "More, babe. Please."

Wanda chuckles at your hopeless tone, but obeys, inserting another finger now. It slides between your edges with ease, and you bite your lips to avoid being loud. But when Wanda presses her palm against your clit as her fingers move in and out of you in a slow, torturous rhythm, you whimper, squeezing your hands on the edge of the tub until they turn white.

"You're so tight." Wanda whispers against your ear, her hot, wet breath sending shivers throughout your body. "My sexy baby taking my fingers so well."

You moan softly, becoming even more aroused by Wanda's words. She sighs against your ear, quickening the pace of her thrusts, and you begin to feel the tightness under your belly reaching the limit.

"W-wanda... I'm clos-oh" You can't maintain a coherent sentence, thrusting your hips in the same rhythm as Wanda's fingers move in and out of you, and Wanda grunts against your ear, her fingers sinking into you.

"Show me how it feels, Printsessa" She asks and you need to concentrate beyond pure pleasure to be able to share your sensations with her. When you do, Wanda moans loudly against your ear, the hand on your breast squeezing firmly, pulling you against her and making you gasp. "Is this how you feel with me, baby?” She asks with a breathless whisper. “It’s so fucking good." She whimpers, increasing the pace of her fingers, and now stimulating both you and herself, and you use your free hand to keep yourself from screaming, knowing that the noise would attract the attention of the other residents.

"I can't hold it." You whimper, your body beginning to spasm out of rhythm with the strokes, you are so close.

"So don't." She gasps back against your ear, and it's the next second that you come, your walls clenching against Wanda's fingers, and you see stars, your loud moan is muffled by her hand on your mouth when you can't keep the gesture and clench your hands under the water.

And you are barely recovering from your orgasm when Wanda reaches hers, sharing it with you, and you moan deeply, turning a complete mess against her, feeling your body explode with pleasure again.

You stand in silence, trying to normalize your breaths, Wanda's fingers slip out of you, making you sigh, but she keeps her hand on your thigh, until she joins the two at your waist, smoothing you better against her.

"I can't feel my legs." You mumble breathlessly, your body tingling completely from the intensity of the orgasms. Wanda just gives an equally affected laugh, moving one of her hands up to push her wet hair out of the front of her face.

"Too bad, I still want to taste you."

You grunt softly, feeling your face heat up. But you sure as hell won't protest when Wanda's hands start coming down again.

//-//-//-//-//-//

“It really worked.” You murmurs impressed, as you button a clear shirt up, getting ready for having some food since you and Wanda skipped lunch, being busy with things. The bruises that you once had, are all gone. A few red spots were seen, but nothing too remarkable as before.

Wanda bites her bottom lip, kneeling in the bed, still naked. The vision was a gift from heaven you could say.

“If you feel any pain, tell me.” She asks as she watches you dressing. “I could try to ease that too.”

“You’re too good for me baby.” You commented with a shy smile, getting closer to her again. Agatha liked well dressed manners, she said. That’s why almost every set of clothes she gave you had ties, and sweaters. You and Wanda teased her about being old.

And that's why you're knotting your tie, and Wanda is unbuttoning your shirt. Wait, what?

"Hey, hey." You quickly warn, holding up her fingers, as Wanda giggles with her gaze gleaming in mischief. "We can't stay here all day, sweetheart."

"Can’t we?" She retorts in a mixed tone of defiance, making a pout that makes you want to kiss her.

"You know we can't." You retort with a smile, caressing her cheek before buttoning the buttons she has opened. Wanda bites her lips as she watches you. "I can bring you something to eat, but eventually we have lessons."

"No, that's okay, I'll come down with you." She says but doesn't move from her spot, and you raise an eyebrow curiously, but Wanda was just waiting for you to finish buttoning your shirt before pulling you up by your poorly tied tie, rising to kiss you on the mouth.

You smiled against her lips, bringing one of your hands to her neck, kissing her firmly.

"Are you sure we need to go downstairs?" She murmurs breathlessly against your mouth, and you sigh.

"Maybe another ten minutes."

It takes another half hour for you to leave the room.

Wanda accompanies you, straightening your crumpled clothes before you head to the kitchen.

Fortunately, Charles had saved some lunch for you, and between smiles and stolen glances, you ate in silence.

And when Agatha asked you to join her upstairs, for her occlumency lesson, Wanda kissed you on the cheek and wished you good luck.

Agatha's private study room was dark.

Unlike the library, or Charles' offices, which were extremely cozy.

Here, you felt almost intimidated. But Agatha seemed relaxed, and you felt confident enough with your magic to enter.

"You know the fundamentals, Miss Stark, so let's not stall." She says as she walks over to one of the cabinets, working to remove her rings and place them on the wood. "Sit back and relax. And know that I'm going to try the real thing, Y/N. Just like an opponent would."

You swallow dryly, but murmur in understanding, walking over to sit in the armchair that Agatha seems to have left ready for you.

She turns around, and takes the seat in front of you. With a flick of her fingers, one of the books on the bookshelves in the room comes flying toward her, floating in the air, open at eye level.

She grumbles softly as she reads, probably checking the spells correctly, and then the book closes and returns to the bookshelf.

"In a fight, a wizard's mind can be their greatest enemy, Miss Stark." She begins, rolling up her sleeves, and you hold your breath in anticipation. "That's why you need to protect yours as best you can."

"Professor Erik taught me a few things." You mutter, but Agatha raises her eyebrow in disbelief, and you are almost offended. "Hey, I'm not that helpless."

"Is that what you think?" She challenges. "Look closer."

You frown in confusion, and try to understand what she means.

Then you notice the other figure in the corner of the room and almost jump out of your chair.

An illusion, Agatha never sat next to you, and she disappears the same second you noticed her.

"What the fuck....?"

"Illusions, Miss Stark, will be the least of your problems if the dark lord has access to your mind." Agatha warns as she moves from the shadows of the room, her hands folded on her belly, looking at you, who was still in shock from the last trick. "But I will teach you to recognize and escape false images first."

The first lesson is not easy.

Honestly, it is so exhausting that by the time Agatha frees you, you are stumbling sleepily to your room.

You fall into bed still in your study clothes, and are almost closing your eyes when Wanda walks in.

"Hey, sweetheart, aren't you going to dinner?" She asks, but you don't even open your eyes, muttering that you were going to sleep.

Wanda walks over to you, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and turns out the lights.

//-//-//

It takes another three weeks for something to happen.

Technically, a lot has actually happened.

You have learned to break illusions, create them, protect your mind from mid-level invaders, lie in a way that rings true in your mind and fools any invader.

Agatha won't admit it, but you are a very talented Occlumens.

And Wanda, is quite the opposite of that.

Charles often comments that maybe it's the power of scarlet magic, but he''s never seen someone who could manipulate the mind of others so easily. Not since Agatha, and the witch makes a sarcastic remark, but has a proud smile as she goes out to harvest carrots.

Where you are expert at protecting the mind, Wanda is at attacking it.

She doesn't have the same strength as you in blocking Agatha, but you can't invade anyone's mind without putting in a lot of effort.

"I think it's an interesting thing, actually. " Charles comments next to you, in the fourth week of studying mind magic, with the four of you sitting in the room, and Agatha in the armchair in front of you, while you have your wand raised and try to get into her thoughts. "You balance each other perfectly, you know? Y/N can protect your mind while you attack, Wanda. It's quite useful."

"Great observation, Charles." Agatha congratulates impressed, not seeming to have any difficulty blocking you even while talking to someone else.

"Does that mean I can get inside your head through her magic?" Wanda deduces in curiosity, but didn't expect anyone to confirm, her eyes glowing red and connecting with your mind.

You choke, firming your touch on your wand, and because you were already trying the spell, you manage to get into Agatha's mind without any problems with Wanda’s magic.

A small girl is running down a hallway; it's Hogwarts.

"Freak!" " Weirdo!" are the whispers of the crowds of children she is passing through.

And then the whispers change to "watch out, she's the principal' daughter" "I heard she killed that Ravenclaw boy"

A mirror. Agatha must be sixteen now, she looks young. She stares at her reflection, and then punches the glass.

"You are a disgrace to this family." A woman says in front of her as the memory fades to another, looking at her with contempt. "A scandal like this. Our coven will recommend your expulsion."

"I never wanted to be a part of this, Mama!" Agatha exclaims in a mixture of anger and hurt. "I hate those old backward women, I want to learn everything I can and -"

The slap is loud. "Rules exist to keep everyone safe, Agatha. You're too selfish to realize that."

It gets faster, the flashes. You watch Agatha grow up, study in hiding, kiss a girl behind the candy store who pushes her away when the older schoolmates laugh, you listen to the cruel comments, watch her buy the cottage, meet new people, and many colored lights, the spells she has already cast blending throughout the memories.

"Please, daughter, forgive me" She pleads in a crying voice, but Natalya looks at her with contempt. "I will do the right thing this time, please, I-"

"Swear it."

You see a flash of the day she took the perpetual vow, her hands entwined with her daughter, and then you see more quick flashes of lost moments, until you focus on the day she was alone in Magda's house again, her hand on the cheek of baby Wanda, now asleep.

"Forgive me, I have failed again."

The memory shifts, you watch Erik crying at a memorial service, many other people dressed in black beside him.

She talked to Erik about the girl, asking if he had noticed anything strange.

Visiting a mansion, your home. You see yourself, about five or six years old, playing in the backyard with your brother, the emaciated image of your father talking to her in a low tone, delivering a letter.

More unclear flashes.

Agatha writing the acceptance letters from the school that year, the name Wanda Maximoff emblazoned on the paper.

The day Wanda and Pietro enter Hogwarts, Agatha rummaging back into her old journals and books.

Agatha starts to resist then. You see two more flashes of class, before she pushes you and Wanda out of her thoughts, and you choke breathlessly, stumbling away.

The teacher gets up quickly, aggressively throwing herself at you two, and you cover Wanda with your body immediately, but she calms down, because Charles puts his arm around her waist.

"Agatha, breathe." He asks softly, and she seems to come to her senses, shaking her head, and casting an almost embarrassed look at you, before muttering apologies and leaving the room.

You and Wanda are wide-eyed, in shock at all you have seen for long seconds, as Charles sighs and moves to organize the books you had messed up when the lesson began.

"She's going to need some time." He says turning to give you a tender smile. "But don't worry, I can continue the lessons with you two. For now, I suggest a cup of tea to everyone, and we can continue tomorrow."

"S-sure, that sounds great." You mumble awkwardly, turning your face to Wanda, who looks troubled. "Everything okay?" You whisper to her, and she forces a smile, nodding.

You won't push it, so you even squeeze her hand gently before following Charles into the kitchen for tea.

//-//-//-//-//

Agatha doesn't leave her room for six whole days.

Charles just says that she is tired, and brings her meals.

You only study next to Wanda; it's not as if you can feel guilty about something she has done to you so many times.

And then, as if no time has passed, the former headmistress comes into the kitchen in travel clothes, while you are eating lunch.

"Good morning?" You exclaim in surprise, and the teacher only murmurs with a nod, picking up an apple from the fruit tray and turning toward the front door.

You exchange a confused look with Wanda before the two of you quickly stand up.

"Agatha, where are you...?"

"Hogwarts." She replies without stopping walking, as you follow her down the hallway to the exit. "Stephen has hidden the darkhold in the spiritual plane of the castle. I'll get it, and read it to Miss Maximoff as promised."

"I-" Wanda starts half uncertain, but Agatha gestures quickly.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." She clarifies. "We'll need him to perform the ritual as well. Please help Charles with the house, and if possible don't damage my vegetables."

And on the porch, she apparated.

You and Wanda stared at the empty space for a long moment.

"What just happened?" You mutter.

"Did our spell drive her insane?" She retorts back, and you sigh, turning to go back inside, and close the door, Wanda following you inside.

"I have no idea." You say. "Let's let Charles know she's gone, and try to keep him from blowing up other cauldrons while she's out."

//-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-//

Tag list > @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @helloalycia // @ensorcellme // @aimezvousbrahms // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife || @nervoustrack || @aquamarinescarlet || @cristin-rjd || @idamaemann || @fortunatelynerdylight || @iliketozoneout || @blackwow34 // @spongebobtentacles || @cyberbonesworld ||

#wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #The Scarlet Witch Prophecy

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

Note

thoughts on toga?

Sorry, I was putting some good music to do this 😌 our vampire princess deserves only the best.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS ON TOGA HIMIKO :

First of all, I still maintain that she's one of the best written female characters of bnha.

I used to think she was heavily sexualized on the manga, and while I still maintain that she is hyoersexualized on the fandom and still sexualized on the manga, I came to realize some of Horikoshi's choices are not that bad. Of course, it has a lot to do with certain common motives and symbolisms.

I think my main complain about the way some people write Toga (pushing aside the way the ship her with adults), it's that people either put her a a total child or a total woman.

Oh God, Toga is so smart. She's so under-appreciated, so so much.

"She's a murdered". She's what? 16-17 years old? Let's see the facts.

Toga was born in a family with money.

The first memory we got from her is Toga bitting a bird and showing it to her parents. They reacted pretty bad, like it was terribly spooky and told her to put that away, rejecting her.

After that, she created a mask for herself. She started pretending to be normal, smiling a lot, becoming the sweet overexcited girl.

However, the feeling never went away, because it was part of her quirk. The need to bite people to become them, the joy of wanting to taste the blood of someone she loved.

This could be a side effect like a person with wings wanting to fly, or a person with fire wanting to see the flames.

After stabbing her school crush, she ran away and began a criminal career of stabbing other people, hiding from the police.

This all means she lived in a lie for at least 13 years of her life, before becoming a criminal and loving on the streets at least 3 or 4 more years.

Toga has both taste the high-middle class class and the low class. She knows what is like to have too much money and be empty inside because no one sees you or accepts you, as much as she knows what is like being hungry and with cold, but living with people that love you for who you are.

This girl learned to erase her presence from a young age, before any of the UA kids ever dreamed about having that level of skill. She knows how to fight pretty well in close combat, how to fight with knives, how to trick people, how to choose her preys and when to retire from a fight.

She's extremely smart because she has successfully infiltrated in the heroes side at least three times: during the license exam, during the overhaul arc and on the war arc.

Her great goal is to live and live well. This is fucking magnificent because many people with her experience would reject themselves, thinking they're the problem. Toga knows she's not the problem, but society. She knows she deserves to live and love and have friends and family and she fights for it. In fact, even when so many people say she's insane, she's uses her logic all the time, way more than many other members of the League.

She see humans as they are. Not villains, not heroes. She was able to love Izuku and Ochaco even when they were heroes, she was able to hate overhaul while he was a villain. This shows she's outside the hero-villain toxic narrative, clever girl.

She's not afraid to face anyone when it comes to her rights. She faces Tomura more than once (overhaul arc, mva arc), she doesn't let Dabi intimidate her, she protects Twice and sweetly answers to Mr. Compress and Spinner's worry.

And God, maybe she doesn't have a mutant quirk, but almost. See her pupils, see her fangs. The reason why she makes people uncomfortable it's because she doesn't fit their standards. And she's perfectly okay with people not knowing how to categorize her. In fact, her fight in the MVA arc was because someone was trying to frame her.

I don't know how to make this clear but she's not crazy or psycho.

Toga Himiko would have passed the UA test with honors. She's so further above from the rest. She knows the older generations are full of shit and she knows they can't follow their paths, enough to outgrow Stain's legacy and make her own ideals.

I love how she shows that one can be totally feral and go against the system without stop being oneself.

Her speech to Ochaco on the war arc was incredible. She quickly questioned the idea that heroes can decide who deserves to live and who doesn't by saving only the people they think that deserve to be saved. She criticized the heroes decision to forget and dismiss and put away real people suffering just because they were not passive about their pain. She also make Ochaco see that she was a girl, just like her, not some type of hell demon trying to consume her soul.

She refused to say Shigaraki and decided to call him Tomura instead. This is so important!!!! From a narrative point of view, she's rejecting AFO's last name and accepting Tomura, the boy mourning for a father, a family.

She's observant, analytical, good at judging people, great at adapting and changing her mind.

I love how she kept being so happy and vibrant even in the worst moments.

And she's not just a victim, please. Toga Himiko is not some lost child, not a know-it-all woman. She's a teenager that can understand the situation but still needs tsome guidance.

She's actively changing the system. She's not passive or easy to manipulate. Like Spinner said, she's a free spirit.

So I'd love to see more fanfics depicting this. She's an amazing character at the level of most male characters on bnha, just like Ochaco, for example.

I'd love to see more headcanons about her with people her age. Real headcanons.

What about Momo and Toga talking about how boring can fancy parties be? How people with money are crazy sometimes?

What about Toga talking with Jirou about beinf girls that are considered "bros" by her friends?

What about Toga talking about being a little mutant and Tsuyu talking with her about hating cold weather?

What about Toga and Kirishima being overexcited and full of positivity together? About Denki and Toga talking about celebrities and TigTog? About Toga and the people from class 1-B bonding over being considered less when they're as good as class 1-A? Toga and Shinsou? Toga and Koda loving cats? Toga and Shoji playing card games? Toga and Tokoyami loving metal music? Toga and Bakugo loving romance stories?

What about Toga admiring female pro-heroes? Mirko seems loud and determined, Toga would adore her under other circumstances. Fuyumi helping Toga with her self-care because she ran away young. Toga showing Eri that they both have "scary" quirks and it's not wrong! They're both went through really bad moments and they're not bad! Toga being a big fan of the Wild Wild Pussycats. Toga adoring Vlad King and Present Mic.

The potential is there.

Anyway I just want more creativity, maybe. People writing more about Toga and the implications of her childhood, about how insane she is a fighter and a human being.

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years

Text

Until The Last Star Dies

Jason Todd x Tamaranean!Reader

Word Count: 2.4K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst, Mentions of Past Abuse

Author's Note: Old story I edited and am now posting again! This is technically the start to all those Outlaw x Reader ones. Guess I gotta work on those next! Enjoy! -Thorne

The all knew something was going to happen between the two Tamaranean sisters when the Titans and the Outlaws teamed up for a dual mission. Something usually did when the sisters got together, one of them asking for help for the last of their people, the other completely devoid of and inclination to help. Kory had brought up the conversation once during the mission when she was beside Dick and Jason, but the two had shaken their heads and reminded her not to do personal during a mission—else it risk the best outcome of said mission.

Kory hadn’t been impressed with the answer, but she’d relented at least until they were back in the Titan’s Tower, and the moment she brought it up with her sister, she knew she’d made a mistake.

***

Everyone watched as the two Tamaraneans stood at each other’s throats; Kory pointed a finger at her sister, her voice accusing. “They are our people, (Y/N)! You cannot just turn your back on them!”

(Y/N) scoffed incredulously. “Our people? You mean the people who turned their backs on us? Them?” A bitter laugh echoed throughout the room and most of them shivered at how cruel it sounded. “Damn them all.”

Kory reared back, emerald eyes wide with shock. “How can you say that, (Y/N)!”

“Easy! With my mouth!” She countered, then let out a sigh. “I have no desire or want to help them, Kory.” (Y/N) turned and began walking to the door. “They can die for all I care.”

When Kory spoke, her voice was low with disappointment. “Mother and Father would be ashamed of you, Kiyahnd’r.”

(Y/N) stopped dead in her tracks and turned around, her face and voice etched with disbelief. “What did you just say to me, Koriand’r?”

Kory stood up to her full height, imposing to most but her sister. “You heard me, Kiyahnd’r…they would be ashamed of your attitude and disassociation with our people.”

A crimson haze colored (Y/N)’s vision and she exploded in a fuming rage causing the others to step back in apprehension. “OUR PARENTS SOLD US INTO SLAVERY TO AVOID WAR! THEIR OWN CHILDREN! AND YOU EXPECT ME TO FEEL SYMPATHY FOR OUR PEOPLE?!”

(Y/N) felt an all-powerful energy surge through her, and an ominous white-hot aura surrounded her. “I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR OUR PEOPLE! I HAVE NO SYMPATHY FOR KOMAND’R! OR FOR OUR PARENTS!”

They watched as Kory matched her power, shoulders and back glowing green. “We have a duty to our throne as they did to Tamaran!”

“TO A THRONE THAT TURNED THEIR BACKS ON US BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO AFRAID TO FIGHT!” (Y/N) pointed at her. “HOW DARE YOU TRY AND JUSTIFY THEIR BETRAYAL! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT WE SUFFERED AS A RESULT?! THE EXPERIMENTS?! THE ABUSE?!”

“Of course I have not! But we are heirs to the Tamaranean throne, Kiyahnd’r! We must—”

She was cut off as a bolt of ivory energy flew by her head; it slammed into the wall with a catastrophic explosion, putting a hole through the entire seventeen walls of that particular side of the building.

Kory turned to stare at the gaping hole in the wall before facing her, her eyes narrowed, voice twinging dangerously. “Did you just challenge me, Kiyahnd’r?”

(Y/N) bared her teeth as she took a menacing step forward. “Do not make the mistake of laying your hands upon me, sister. We both know full well who would win that fight,” she promised, then her eyes darted to the members around them, eyes either widened in worry, or narrowed in expectation for a fight.

She inhaled shakily and shut her eyes, and the energy around her began to fizzle away until all that was left was her. She opened her eyes, gazing sadly at Kory, then, she spoke, the words coming out pained. “I do not want to save them, Koriand’r. The day they gave us up was the day I cut my ties with them. You want to play the high and mighty Tamaranean princess? Be my guest.”

She spun on her heel and walked to the door, but as if remembering something, she stopped and glanced over her shoulder, affirming, “But do not assume that I will do the same.”

The group watched as she left; Kory sighed and hung her head.

“Kory?”

She looked up at Dick and Jason who each gave her a look of concern; she opted for a reassuring smile. “Do not worry for me, Dick. I am okay.”

Jason stared at the door (Y/N) walked out of, offhandedly mentioning, “I’m more worried for (Y/N).”

Kory nodded at Jason’s words. “As am I.”

Dick placed a hand on her shoulder. “What’s been going on?”

She collapsed down in a chair and sighed again. “Though Tamaran was destroyed, our people survived and started over.”

“New-Tamaran right?” Jason asked, though it appeared he knew more than he let on.

She tipped her head side-to-side at Jason’s question, not entirely sure how to answer the question in terms of a plain yes or no. “In a way. Our people are now considered nomads.” She paused. “Komand’r reigns as Queen, but she is not fit for it. I have tried many times to convince Kiyahnd’r to help them. We have a duty to them to do so…but she will never forgive our people or Komand’r for what happened to us.”

“Can you blame her Kory?”

Her head tipped to look at Jason. “What?”

He shrugged. “Can you blame her?” Jason repeated and knelt in front of Kory. “You both were enslaved and experimented on. Memories and feelings like that aren’t exactly erased…or forgiven.”

“I know,” Kory said, reasoning, “But…I just wish she could work towards it.”

“It’s not always that easy.” He answered, then nodded at Dick and rose to his feet. “I’m going to go find (Y/N).” The two of them watched Jason leave the room in search of her.

***

After an hour of searching, Jason eventually found (Y/N) on the roof, staring up at the moon, her legs dangling over the edge.

He walked over and stood beside her. “Mind if I sit next to you, doll?”

(Y/N) didn’t shift her gaze from the glowing, natural satellite. “Do as you wish, Jason.”

There wasn’t heat in her words, and he wasn’t bothered by the indifference as he sat beside her, quietly admiring the moon.

It was quiet until she broke it, murmuring, “Kory wants us to forgive our people and move on…as if nothing happened to us.” She paused and shook her head as if the very idea were incomprehensible. “We are a naturally open species when it comes to emotion, but I do not understand how she can let go of everything so easily…how she can turn aside years of consistent abuse and smile so easily.”

Jason observed her for a moment, mulling the thought on his tongue. “What exactly happened to you, (Y/N)?”

(Y/N)’s face morphed into an anguished expression; she breathed deeply before sighing and speaking. “When my grandmother ruled Tamaran, she gave herself up to appease the Citadel. When my father took the throne, he did the same…but instead of giving himself…he gave Kory and I away.” She swallowed thickly. “We were…tortured…raped and humiliated…for years.”

She rose as she felt the rage flowing through her again. “Then we were given to the Psions…and we were experimented on. Again!” (Y/N) shook with indignation and her hand shot towards the sky, a bolt of energy leaving her palm. “She expects me to let it go! To forgive the very ones who put us in that position!”

Her hand released a succession of star bolts, and Jason watched as she fumed with unadulterated fury. “I will neverforgive them for it! They will never understand what we went through! They will never know what it is like to beg for death because you know it would be better than what was to come!”

Jason’s eyebrows drew in sympathy and (Y/N) clenched her hand into a fist, energy gathering within. His eyes widened, and he worried, “Uh, doll? That’s a big star bolt.”

(Y/N) studied the night sky. “I know.”

She uncurled her fist, and the bolt released, slinging into the sky, then it exploded, and Jason was reminded of fireworks as it shattered into millions of gleaming shards.

(Y/N) sucked in a breath and her shoulders squared as she spoke adamantly. “I will never forget the time I spent within the Citadel’s captivity…or the Psion’s. And I will never forgive Tamaran for putting me there.” She turned to Jason and looked down at him, her fists clenching. “For as long as I breathe, I will never help Tamaran. I would soon rather die.”

Jason rose from his seated position and gently took her hands in his own, uncurling her clenched fists; he smiled sadly at her. “You don’t have to, (Y/N).”

She wasn’t expecting him to say that, and her jaw went slack. “…What?”

His smile widened a fraction, and he squeezed her hands. “You don’t have to forgive them. Not until you want to.” He paused and raised a hand, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Hell, and if you never want to, you don’t.”

(Y/N) gazed at him. “You will not think me ill-disposed and bitter?”

Jason voice took a solemn tone. “If anyone has the right to be bitter, (Y/N), it’s you. You’ve seen and experienced horrors that would break most people…and if it didn’t, it would leave them a shell of what they once were. But you? You’ve come out reining victorious over it.” He paused. “I know it doesn’t do much to alleviate the memories, and this might make me sound like an insensitive ass, but your past doesn’t define you, (Y/N). You aren’t what they made you.”

She dropped her gaze and side-stepped from his grip, her arms wrapping around herself. “…But I am.”

Jason tipped his head and walked with her. “Why do you say that?”

She stopped and turned to him, her hand gently rising into the air; her power flowed up her arm and into the air smoothly. “I am what they made me, Jason. I am literally a walking nuclear reactor.”

(Y/N) stared at him. “Tamarans do not possess the talents that Koriand’r, Komand’r, and I possess. We received them unwillingly at the hands of the Psions. We are different…and it is because of them. We were tainted by their heinous experiments…and my life is scarred from it.”

Jason gazed at her before taking her hand again, his thumb caressing the back of it. “Perhaps…but your past was a lesson, not a life sentence.” He met her eyes. “Don’t let yourself be bound to it, (Y/N).”

She regarded him for a moment before raising an eyebrow. “You speak of moving on, but you still allow your past to haunt you.”

Jason nodded. “I do…but I’m trying to work on it.”

“How?”

“How what?”

“How do you work on it?” She looked at their hands. “You will never forgive him for what he did to you Jason…so how do you move past it to better things?”

“You’re right.” (Y/N)’s gaze moved back to his. “I won’t ever forgive that bastard for what he did to me. And for a very long time, I did not and could not forgive Bruce for letting me die. But I had to come to the realization that I was partly to blame for what happened to me, and that Bruce tried his best to save me…he just wasn’t fast enough. And that wasn’t his fault.”

He paused and brought a hand to her cheek, caressing it. “It’s different for you, (Y/N), because you were forced into those situations by measures beyond your control. But you have the power and ability to say that this isn’t how you are going to be defined.”

(Y/N) took in his words and whispered softly. “Why have you always been so kind to me, Jason? I am underserving of it.”

He smiled. “Because I’m in love you.”

Her eyes widened and she felt the breath leave her lungs. “…What?”

Jason snorted. “I’m in love you, (Y/N).”

“You—I…What?”

Jason chuckled as she floundered. “Why are you so shocked? The Batfamily tends to lean towards Tamaranean women. I mean look at Dickhead and your sister.”

(Y/N) was still in stunned disbelief. “I—no…you—no.”

Jason’s hand let go of hers and wrapped around her waist. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

“You cannot love me.”

He flashed a grin. “I can love you…and I do love you, Kiyahnd’r.”

(Y/N) gazed at him. “…Why?”

“Because you are beautiful and strong and the literal walking definition of goddess.” Blushing slightly, he added, “You’re also badass…so that…certainly factors into it.”

(Y/N) lowered her head and laughed, then looked at him. “You are something else, Jason Todd.”

He cocked a brow. “I hope you mean that in a good way, doll.”

(Y/N) snorted and wrapped her arm around his waist before rising into the sky; Jason’s grip tightened, and she smirked. “Do not be afraid, Jason…I will not drop you.”

Jason grunted. “I wasn’t afraid of you dropping me, (Y/N).”

“So…the steel grip around my waist is just…because?”

“Yep.”

“As you say.”

The two of them rose higher until the sight of the building and ground below them was a shrunken image.

They stared up at the stars. “Beautiful…are they not?” she asked.

Jason nodded in wide-eyed astonishment. “Absolutely.”

(Y/N) glanced at him. “Your eyes reflect the stars so clearly.” Jason’s eyes moved to hers and they gazed at each other; she lowered her head and sighed. “I do not know if I am the best person to love, Jason…I am…damaged.”

A hand curled under her chin and coaxed her up; she met his eyes again and he smiled. “Yeah, you are.” He paused. “But I don’t know a single person who isn’t. You aren’t alone, (Y/N).” Jason leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. “You have me. Until every last star in this universe dies. You have me.”

An easy smile grew on her face, and she leaned in, lips stopping just before his. Her eyes narrowed in adoration and she whispered, “Thank you.”

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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years

Text

Heartache

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Soldat!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, captivity, torture, brainwashing, delusional Bucky.

Words: 2535.

Summary: You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

P.S. I have to say it turned out darker than I expected. Attention! Bucky is free from his programming, but he does not heal as he should.

__________________

“You look old.”

You decide to give him the pleasure of hearing your voice. It sounds dull from behind the glass when Bucky comes closer, looking at someone he recognizes too well, but you do not recognize a man he became, nothing reminding you of the one with whom you once shared your bed.

You know what the man looking at you through the glass thinks. You didn’t age a day since the last time he saw you, and while he knows why, it still surprises him to see a young woman watching him calmly as if all those years didn't pass.

“You miss your star.” You say, tilting your head to the side and narrowing your eyes at him when you see his new vibranium arm.

“It doesn't matter.” His answer is immediate, and Bucky isn't surprised to hear the raw anger in his own voice: he is no longer the Soldier you knew, and he is worried he won't find a way to interact with you. You don't seem too interested in Bucky Barnes and whoever he works for despite the fact you are hardly HYDRA's soldier yourself.

What he doesn't know is that you still stay the soldier you have been once, and nothing will ever change that regardless of whoever Bucky Barnes sends your way to cure you from HYDRA's conditioning.

"I'm glad you remember me."

You find it peculiar: a man who has been trying so hard to get rid of anything that ties him to the Winter Soldier has been looking for you for years, finally tracking you down, capturing you and bringing you here as if your pure existence didn't remind him of the worst years of his life. What did he expect to find? A comfort in someone who once had been paired with him just for the sake of research?

"Don't bother, Mr. Barnes. There's nothing there left for you."

You see he's taken aback because you have hit a nerve. Apparently, James Buchanan Barnes thought the connection between the two of you remained the same, and he could dig up the feelings that had long been buried. Stupid, you think, he's forgetting the most important part: he is not the man you formed the bond with. You don't need the one whose name was Bucky Barnes, a hundred years old broken man who returned back to the world that couldn't offer him anything but regrets and nightmares. You need your Soldier, the one who won't return to you even if you throw Bucky back into that iron chair and fry his brains for the thirtieth time.

It doesn't matter. After all those years you didn't believe in happy endings, and even if the man watching you through the glass think he is going to get one after getting out, he is clearly deluding himself.

Averting his eyes, Bucky clears his throat and changes the topic, trying to give himself a false hope he can mend things. “I will convince Shuri to treat you. She helped me break through the conditioning, and she will do the same to you."

You could raise your brow at him, but maintaining this facade is tiresome and doesn't make sense. "I see you have no idea how much my conditioning differs from yours. You can't break through it. It's embedded in me."

"I thought so, but I got rid of mine. You can do it too, I'm sure."

Although you see him trying to assure you, Bucky's getting agitated because he really has no idea what HYDRA did to you. He couldn't know it when he still was the Soldier, but now the lack of his knowledge leads you to the thought your former masters destroyed whatever info they still kept - they foresaw he would search for you.

"Your brainwashing was flimsy. I've always wondered how come you were considered HYDRA'S greatest assassin when you just needed to see your dear friend once to start getting your memories back." You snort, knowing Bucky would feel a slight hint of jealousy in your voice, but you don't care: you've never hid from him you only needed the Winter Soldier, and he was gone.

Bucky doesn't know what to say as a part of him wants to scream there was nothing flimsy about electroconvulsive therapy he went through over and over again, but he looks at you and sees how different you are from him, having no memories of your own, not knowing even your name or the place where you came from. It doesn't scare him, but the fact you had long merged with the Soldier you've become does. You don't separate yourself from her the way he did. In fact, the Soldier had completely absorbed your true persona, and Bucky doesn’t know the real you. He only knows RED, a Soldat who at one point was been created by HYDRA just like all of them were. Despite searching for the information about your past for years, he found nothing, not even the year when you became a part of the organization. Bucky doesn’t think you did it willingly judging by the fact how you reacted when he had been training you among the other Soldiers, but he can’t be sure.

You’re a ghost. None of the masters who had been giving you orders know anything about you except your specialization and things you can do. Bucky supposes there were once people who knew the truth, but all of them are probably dead since the ones he has captured were utterly useless. His only hope is Shuri who might bring whatever is left somewhere deep inside your mind to the surface, yet he isn’t sure she will take you: the more you talk, the more it becomes clear you will not ask her to do it willingly, and Shuri won’t like that. The redemption can only be granted to someone who asks and works for it.

You don’t seem the type.

“What do you want me to do?” He asks you quietly, his forehead almost touching the glass separating you two when Bucky watches you with that pathetic expression of his. “If I let you go, you will return to people you serve. If I bring you to police, you will end up in a lab in the hands of the government.”

You allow him to see your smile as you observe him, desperately hoping you will tell him you will come back to the good guys and stay with him, playing a role of his funny little girlfriend because Bucky Barnes cannot allow himself to form an adequate relationship with any woman who has not been tainted the way he was. It probably seems so tragic to him that he had to spent years trying to catch you.

Although the chair you’re bound to doesn’t let you stand and come over to him, you still lean closer to the window, wearing the same polite but welcoming smile you used to lure your targets closer to you.

“I want you back in that chair, going through the whole process of brainwashing again until you become the Soldat you’ve been. I want you standing with me and feeling as much pain as I did until your sensitivity goes down to zero, and you no longer remember those funny friends of yours. I know you won’t trade your freedom and whatever else you have after getting out, but I don’t need James Buchanan Barnes or White Wolf or whoever you have become. I am RED of HYDRA, and I have bonded with the Winter Soldier you buried, Bucky.”

When he leaves, the massive metal door getting locked ten times the least, you stare at the grey wall beside the glass. You wonder how getting the privilege of remembering his past made him so miserable, a pathetic, broken man who did not understand how lucky he had been, not only breaking free from HYDRA’s grip but gaining his true identity back. He probably pitied himself, poor little boy who had been broken by the big bad guys. He did not understand that all other soldiers who came after him, except the suicide squad made with Stark’s serum, had been turned into ashes. There was nothing left to break in them - and you either.

_______________________

Shuri wasn’t happy to hear your story just like he thought, but Bucky couldn’t lie to her, hoping she would understand. Of course, she didn’t, telling him outright it was impossible to treat somebody who didn’t want to be treated. While it was also inhuman, forcing you to do something against your will just like HYDRA has been doing all these years, it also erased the possibility to use the same methods she chose when she treated Bucky.

“You don’t understand,” she tells him, shaking her head, “it’s not that I don’t want to help, but without her cooperating it’s close to impossible. They didn’t use the same ways to program her just like they did to you.”

He isn’t satisfied with her answer even though he knows Shuri wants to help. He can’t leave it like that, leave you to your fate, return you where you belonged, and he keeps asking who or what may be able to help you until she finally tells him something about electrical stimulation of the brain that can awake memories that you have buried. Shuri immediately regrets it, seeing how Bucky’s face lights up.

“It is a very complicated process that requires an extensive medical knowledge. Worse, even if performed correctly, this technique can traumatize her even further. Please don’t do this. We don’t even know if this method will be effective.”

Bucky doesn’t promise her anything, though a part of him feels guilty he made her tell him this. He just has to do it: undoubtedly, HYDRA or whoever you work for now will force you to go through the brainwashing process again, and whatever treatment Shuri told him about can’t be worse than this. If Bucky does everything right, you might stand a chance to live like he does, away from the horrors of the war you had been a part of ever since the organization abducted you. Even if you don’t want it, clearly it is an effect of the memory suppressing machine: any sane human being wants to have a normal life, right?

It takes him months to find and steal the equipment he needs, leaving no traces - it reminds him of the days when he had been under HYDRA’s control, but he does what he has to. Learning how to use the machine is a much more complicated task, but Bucky is grateful for that serum-enhanced brain of his: he nearly swallows the information from the books in record time, reading about sending a burst of electrical energy into your cerebral cortex to stimulate your brain and finally retrieve your memories. Now he knows what Shuri meant by traumatizing, but this doesn’t stop him either. He does what he has to do.

“What is your name?” He repeats after listening to your screams for ten or maybe twenty minutes, your body going limp in the black, cold chair when you open your mouth, breathing heavily, your face stained with tears and sweat.

“Dolores.” You say immediately, knowing he will repeat the procedure if you keep silent, your heat beating wildly. “I grew up... on a small farm in Iowa... I had an older sister... and slept with a big teddy bear with a red ribbon...”

“You are lying.” He says simply, and a jolt of electricity cuts through your head, nearly electrocuting you while you scream again and again.

For some reason he always feels it when you say what he wants to hear instead of the truth. What he doesn’t understand is that the truth he wants has been told months ago: you did not remember and you were not going to remember anything from your past. It was stupid to try. There was nothing left of you, and while he thought he was resurrecting a human in you, he was simply destroying your body that was regenerating every night after the therapy.

When you receive a new jolt, shaking and screaming, tears streaming down your face until they fall down onto your already wet t-shirt, you whisper through gritted teeth, “Either I will have you as my Soldat, or I will not have you at all.”

Bucky presses the button.

__________________________

When he is finished he takes you to a bath in the room next to your cell. You almost lose the ability to move for an hour or two, giving him time to prepare you: Bucky undresses you and slowly lowers your body in the tub filled with warm water, watching that you take a comfortable position and don’t slip, effectively suffocating. Today he had almost gone too far, risking to fry your brain: you still refused to give up even after two months of therapy you have gone through, and Bucky isn’t too happy.

Pouring a strawberry-scented shampoo on his palm, Bucky starts to carefully wash your hair that grew longer in the months of captivity, watching that neither shampoo nor the foam gets in your eyes. You are nearly breathless: the serum they gave you made you less stronger than him, but your regeneration abilities are on a whole different level, and soon your body will adjust and erase the damage made.

He asks himself whether keep using the machine makes sense since he didn’t make much progress, the programming still very much in you even after all those incredibly painful sessions. What if you were right from the start? What if there was nothing to remember, and all he could do was to leave you in the state you were in before he destroyed whatever was left of you?

No, he can’t do it. Leaving you means taking away your chance to ever get back to normal life, and he can’t force himself to do that.

Never in his life Bucky Barnes will admit letting you go meant never getting his own happy ending the way he wants it.

“Why reinventing the wheel when you can make it so much easier?” All of a sudden, your hoarse voice whimpers in his ear when you look at him, tiredly moving your head up. “Do what they’ve always done. Use the programming to give me an order.”

A part of him is shocked with the revelation: he wanted to be neither the Soldier nor the one giving him commands. But the other part makes him realize how much easier it would be if he just used what has already been done to you instead of relying on an obviously ineffective method that damaged your mind and body. Of course, he has nothing in common with Karpov sending him on the assassination missions. Bucky only wants you to learn how to become human again, free you from HYDRA once and for all, give you the life you undoubtedly wanted. Even if he uses the same method the organization did until he finds a better way to undo the programming, it is still for your own good.

___________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @iheartsebandchris @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes x reader #Winter Soldier #yandere #MCU

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kravkalackin · 4 years

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okay actually i’ve been thinking about this au all night and consider a balance au where everyone is just sort of... jumbled around

in this lucretia’s plan goes off almost without a hitch. Lup dodged the knife, got the gauntlet put away, and was able to come back. She’s there when they forget, and even though Barry is panicking because he doesn’t know who she is it’s too late by the time he realizes what’s wrong, and he doesn’t die (yet, anyway).

No, Lup stays, but they haven’t seen Magnus in over a year now. He went out to place his relic, and he just... never came back. It leaves an emptiness in the crew, even as they celebrate their plan working, watch as the hunger doesn’t arrive. It worked, so his relic must still be out there. He must still be out there somewhere.

Magnus’s absence is another reason why Lucretia feels she needs to enact her plan. One of the relics took him immediately, how can they call that a success? Still, by the time she starts he’s already been gone for over a year, there isn’t quite that same urgent search as there had been for Lup. She forces herself to take her time, to be as careful as possible. She can edit Davenport’s life around the mission better, and even he can be sent out to the world.

The one, tiiiiny problem is when she goes to place Merle, and he... didn’t forget. He asks if this is some kind of prank they’re pulling on him, real funny guys, and eventually admits that okay, sometimes he uses water from Fisher’s tank to water his plants because it’s closer than the kitchen and maybe sometimes when he’s tired he drinks from his watering can and sometimes those two things overlap.

So Lucretia explains her plan, explains that this is temporary, that the relics weren’t working and her shield will, and she begs him not to stop her and he doesn’t. Maybe she’s right, maybe the others do deserve a break, but she’s not getting out of this so easy missy. Oh no, ain’t no reason to do any of this without backup.

They set the others up with their lives. Taako and Lup with a cooking show, Davenport with his own boat and a small but hardworking crew, and Barry... Barry’s hard to place. She had hoped to place him working at a school, maybe a university, but with the mission erased so much of his knowledge of the arcane and sciences were as well.

Merle’s the one who suggests putting him up at a temple. The creep always did like weird dead things, he is a weird dead thing, he’ll be right at home. Lucretia supposes that’ll work and sets him up at a temple of the Raven Queen.

It doesn’t last long. Maybe a bit longer than it should have, but Kravitz doesn’t think anyone would blame him for not looking for liches in their own temples. It doesn’t take much to kill him, but once he’s a lich he’s able to get away. To realize what’s going on, and to try to set it right.

He finds the cloning pod, sets up a coin recording and gives himself a few simple instructions. He has a wife, he needs to find her no matter what the cost and find a way to get back the memories that were lost. Also, if a handsome man in a black suit with raven motifs shows up run away please.

Davenport’s time on the sea is as far as he can remember, the happiest he’s ever been. This is what he was born to do, what his life should be. He cares about his crew and they care about him and they take care of each other.

One day he pushes too far though. He always wanted to go further, to have more dangerous adventures, to push the limits and come out on top. Some of those limits are there for a reason though. When they end up being attacked, Davenport almost manages to out run the pirates. He always expects his ship to be able to do more than it should though, and the old girl finally gives out on him.

He’s thrown overboard, small enough to be able to hide among the debris from the ship, to cling to a piece of wood and wet cloth until they leave. The rest of his crew isn’t so lucky. Once he finally manages to get back to shore, Davenport decides to take a break on the ocean for a while.

Sizzle It Up with Lup and Taako is great. They’re a well oiled machine, and they’re well on their way to make something of themselves. They have an audience that loves them, their cookbook sales are great, they’re happy. Everything is perfect.

And then one day Lup wakes up and Taako is just... gone. There’s a note on the table saying he went out for supplies for their show tonight, and she doesn’t think anything of it. Not until the hours pass, and he’s still not there. Not until she goes to town, and no one has seen him all day. It doesn’t make any sense, she went to sleep and her brother was here and now he’s not and he’s not dead, he can’t be dead, she has to find him.

She puts the show on hiatus and starts to look.

After Barry, Kravitz was already on the look out. Finding Taako had been a bit more intentional, and he thought he would be more prepared when one of these things turned into a lich, but Taako was surprising in a whole new way. As soon as he fell and the lich form arose, he wasn’t going in for a fight. No, he wanted to make a deal.

The end of the world was coming, and they all just forgot. Really, it was a simple compromise. Kravitz leaves his sister and Barry alone. He stops trying to kill his fucking family, and Taako will get this whole mess sorted out. He’ll find Lucretia and Merle and make them stop, make sure the hunger doesn’t destroy this plane, and won’t cause anymore undead problems.

Kravitz agrees, mostly on the behest of the Lady of Fate, but Taako needs to work with them. Taako gets rid of the body, he doesn’t want Lup to find it and get upset, and he tells himself it’ll be quick. As soon as she remembers she’ll understand him leaving, she would have done the same.

Lup, Barry, and Davenport end up being hired by one Gundren Rockseeker, on the recommendation of one of his cousins. They join the Bureau of Balance, and even though the Director is standoffish her kindness shines through, and even though Merle is... odd there’s something comforting about him. They like it here.

Magnus has been in Refuge for about a week. Magnus was just stopping through, thankful for the rest after Jack and June found him in the desert. He didn’t plan on staying for very long. This bubble makes it hard to leave, but he’s only been gone for about a week. He can’t remember where he was supposed to go at this point, so it must not have been that important.

Besides, it’s only been about a week.

#taz #the adventure zone #the ipre #so i did switch merle from the original drabble #what we have is #THB= lup barry and davenport #Lucretia still the director #Merle is Davenport but much more actively #he did lose his arm in wonderland btw #taako is the red robe #and instead of an umbrella magnus is trapped in a bubble

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grenade-maid · 3 years

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Just finished Lain. Watched the last episode twice, which gently removed my heart from my chest and pulped it into a fine paste in a mortar and pestle. This hit much closer to home than I expected.

In my Lain epistemology post I somewhat flippantly made an aside that the series was only tangentially about Lain the actual character. By which I meant that my read on the series up until that point (around episode 8 or 9) was that each episode was teasing apart different aspects of the ambiguity of truth, knowledge, information, and communication, with the events of Lain's life being almost just a sort of example case study for how these concepts can impact someone on an individual level. Lain was framed in a kind of zoomed out way as an abstract avatar moving through these events without a whole lot of expression of her personal thoughts and feelings.

And then we get to the last three episodes.

It's in this space that Lain the 8th grade age girl with thoughts and feelings and wants and needs and fears comes into painfully sharp focus. The beginning of the final episode sums up and contextualizes what all of this has always been about.

Who am I? What is the real me? How can I tell what's real about me if everyone interprets it differently?

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

The flippant bravado that I expressed in that post is the same attitude that Lain has been applying to her own very sense of self throughout the series, as just another arbitrary and moldable piece of information subject to interpretation with no inherent truth.

She effectively commits suicide by removing herself from sight, mind, and memory, of everyone around her. After all, if they have no knowledge of her, then she no longer exists. But what is lurking in the subtext of this finale is that she fails to consider that everyone she is cutting off is equally subject to this process. She imagines that without her meddling they are able to be happy. But that's all it is, imagination.

She doesn't exist to them anymore because she erased their knowledge of her, but it goes both ways. In doing this, they cease to exist to her, too. The image of the happy lives of the people she knew don't come from real observation or fact. It is something that she is imposing upon her memory or imagination of those people, which is only possible because she's removed herself from the possibility of being reminded just how complex and occasionally painful their lives will be with her or without her. In those scenes nobody misses her except in these brief fleeting moments where they remember some fond association with her, before moving on to their happy lives.

But this isn't reality. She isn't seeing these people. This is how she comforts herself, by imagining that everything is for the best without her, and nobody has to feel the pain of missing her. But that's not something she can know or control. The pain they feel upon losing her doesn't exist only because she has removed herself from where she might see it and have to acknowledge it.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

This phrase is taken to its literal extreme in the finale. But I think it's important to take a step back and really think about what this means on a more human level, especially when it comes to the kinds of struggles that everyone, especially kids that age, are dealing with.

That is to say, even if you literally physically exist and go about the world talking to people going to school eating dinner and so on, if there are parts of you that people don't know about, if there are things inside you that you can't express, you quickly come to the painful realization that to other people, that stuff just doesn't exist. Which means that whole side of you doesn't exist, according to the outside world. And if that side of you encompasses something important about your identity or your experiences, it's hard to not come to the conclusion that the real you, the entirety of your being, doesn't exist to them either. And when you try to tell them about it, or when they notice on their own, but they don't understand or perhaps outright reject it, hasn't some fundamental part of your humanity been erased? In this kind of environment it's easy to start doubting that any of it exists at all. After all, if nobody else will recognize it, you've only got your own word to go on. And that isn't always enough to trust.

And again, keep in mind that this goes both ways. I think Lain's sister is the clearest example which is given by the series. One episode she begins as a character, someone who has thoughts and a personality and so on. By the end of the episode she is reduced to the state that she will stay in for the rest of the series, blank-eyed and senseless. That fully fledged self she had still exists though. Lain just stops being able to see it, so effectively her sister stops existing for her.

Do I even exist if other people can't see me?

When you are isolated you can say anything about yourself. You can say you're nobody, or you're God, or perhaps something even wiser and greater than God. It can feel powerful to start writing your own existence and rationalizing your own isolation, the perceptions of others be damned. You can say well, my parents don't understand me and I stopped being able to connect to my sister, but who cares! Family is just arbitrary biology anyway! What if they aren't even my family at all, and are just plants put in place by a secret organization. I'm not lonely, I'm just seeking a greater truth, a conspiracy that only I can see! I don't make social mistakes, I'm not afraid of hurting anyone, that's the fake me running around out there! But it's not sustainable. Eventually life comes crashing down, whether it be in the form of interference in the material world, or if that mental state with all of its attendant self-spun narratives just finally collapses.

As with most things in this series, Lain's interactions with "God" are written in a very abstract symbolic way. But, the pattern that it follows seems very familiar to me as one of a predatory adult grooming a vulnerable minor. He alternates between gassing Lane up as the most powerful and important being who has ever lived, and then in the next breath saying that she's nothing. In peddling his conspiracy theory narrative of humankind merging with The Wired, of Lain simply being a powerful piece of software meant for Grand Purpose, he feeds into her struggle for identity and the need to be seen and understood by at once validating these feelings and how confusing they are, while reinforcing her isolation and his own dominant grip over defining the shape of the world and society.

When Arisu finds Lain living in filth and comforts her, that is one of the rare moments that the raw, vulnerable, material world Lain, weighed down with no pretenses, pokes her head out. That moment of genuine intimacy that she has been so hungry for this whole time is enough to allow her to retaliate against "God" when he shows up in anger upon being doubted. When Arisu reacts poorly to this sight, though, is when Lain makes her final dive back into her own walled off reality. For as much as she wants to be seen and held and comforted by this girl she loves, it is far more painful for her to have to witness and live with the feeling of rejection and guilt that came from Arisu's fear in the aftermath.

The final image of her father finally expressing the real tenderness she has longed for. The imagined future of Arisu dating her former teacher well into adulthood, because it's the only model of a relationship Lain has ever seen someone want, because her parents certainly don't seem happy, and she herself didn't get anything out of the boy who kissed her. The final statement, "I will always be with you". As with everything in the series, these can be interpreted many ways. But to me it reads unmistakably as the final moments before suicide.

In any case though, after all that, it seems fairly starkly clear why Lain resonates so strongly with trans people. Contrary to the old saying that all happy people are happy the same way, but all miserable people suffer uniquely, this path to despondence is depressingly common. It is the way out that is unique to everyone who finds themselves there. I hate to say it, although I feel very lucky to say that I have survived being in that place many times--which I think is proof that it is possible to get to the other side and make a good life, despite everything-- I think if it had ended any more neatly or more positively, it just wouldn't feel as honest. It captures the depth of that state of being. That's just what it's like. And as heavy as it is to sit with, I get a lot from being able to see something painfully familiar to me reflected in such a raw way. After all that, a happy ending would just feel disingenuous. I mean, that's my life, and any happy ending they could have written just isn't how it went.

#writing #Serial Experiments Lain #Lain

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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You think when Jason first went to Bruce’s him and Dick had an interaction that went like this,

Jason: you don’t know what it like

Dick: Bitch I’m sorry which one of us went to juvie

LOL I get the joke and all but see, I do wanna be clear:

(And this is just in general rather than aimed specifically at you or this ask, anon).

I spend a lot of time talking about being anti-Trauma Olympics and that extends both ways. I don't want Dick perceived as more traumatized or having had it harder than anyone else in his family, just that his own traumas and hardships aren't erased or invalidated in favor of propping up someone else. At most, I'll talk about something like the Forever Evil situation and how he was 'more' the victim there than they were, but that's because that's a specific situational thing where both he and other characters' feelings and hurt in regards to the exact same set of circumstances are being compared, and I'm like, well if you're GONNA do that, you kinda gotta look at who was most directly impacted by events versus had feelings about what HAPPENED to the first person in the first place, just....conveniently leapfrogging over that dude's actual feelings about those exact same things.

But ultimately, although I'll spite-LOL about this sorta joke in response to other fans Doing the Most in the other direction, like.....tbh, I wouldn't be any more in favor of this kinda interaction in fics or canon.

What I WOULD love to see is rather than the kids being pitted against each other in a kinda pseudo competition, see them use traumas and parallel situations as a basis for common ground and building stronger bonds. Like, how much more powerful would it be if what we got instead was Jason finding out about Dick's past experiences with juvie in order to make Dick someone he feels DOES get certain things. I mean, Dick never DID experience various things that Jason did living on the street or earlier living with Catherine and Willis....but like I've always posited that in the early years Dick had a primal fear of fucking up and being sent back to juvie by Bruce, Dick absolutely would be able to understand the fears of a kid who was caught committing an actual crime by Bruce in their first encounter and feared what might happen if Bruce ever decided he wasn't worth giving the benefit of the doubt and ultimately would never be more than a criminal.

Part of what bums me so much about the direction most fics and headcanons take towards Dick and Jason's earlier interactions, is there's a huge chasm in experience, perspective and privilege between Bruce and BOTH his two eldest. That chasm is not nearly as vast between Dick and Jason themselves. Where they diverge in prior experiences tends to have a lot to do with specific situations and circumstances rather than axis of privilege. (Especially when you consider - and god I'm tired of this - how often people default to being like 'well Dick at least had loving parents' when ahem, HOW OFTEN has Jason made clear that he has very affectionate memories of Catherine because she was at times a very loving and attentive mother, and that's WHY her addiction and death hit him so hard, not unlike how the murder of Dick's parents hit him so hard BECAUSE they were loving and nurturing? Like, how often do people throw characters' own stories and canon away JUST to make the case that they have it harder than another one? Can we stop this? Forever preferably?)

But point is, there are tons of areas where Bruce just fundamentally didn't relate to Dick and never was going to be able to, because Bruce was never in a position of being at the mercy of various institutions. Bruce never had to worry about being thrown out by his guardian, Alfred, who technically worked for his family even as he raised Bruce. He never had to deal with peers looking down on him because of who he WAS rather than giving him shit for specific circumstances or events. He never had to worry about his parents or past being demeaned as worthless, he never had to balance trying to retain a sense of self without being subsumed into Bruce AND the Waynes' larger than life shadows, history, and perception in the eyes of the public.

However all of these and more are areas where Dick and Jason absolutely overlap and this could be greatly of benefit to each other, if it was ALLOWED to be. For Dick, Jason's arrival can be an opportunity for him to finally have someone who gets various aspects of growing up with Bruce that will just fly over other peoples' heads as being a problem or them having issues with at all. For Jason, Dick can be an opportunity for him to have an easier time understanding Bruce when these gaps in perception and experience appear, or making himself understood by Bruce, by drawing upon and learning from Dick's own experience trying to navigate those very same gaps between Bruce and himself in years prior.

And even where Dick and Jason's experiences diverge, there's still plenty they could learn from each other that they STILL couldn't have in common with Bruce. Like yeah, Jason - even with a loving relationship with Catherine factored in - didn't ever have the benefit of Dick's history being part of a huge communal family in the circus, and around people who were open and generous with their affection and all that.....and frankly, Bruce never had this either, even factoring in his own relationship with HIS parents. But its something that Dick could definitely impart wisdom in, that would be helpful to Jason in learning to be part of a larger community of superheroes overall, and how to interact with a bigger family that wasn't limited just to himself and his guardian or guardians....as well as helpful after their family grew to include more siblings.

And Jason did have a ton of experiences and perspective born of living on the streets and being entirely self-sufficient from a young age, with wisdom he could share with Dick there, who was MORE likely to get the benefits of that than Bruce even, because Dick did have experience with a closer mindset to what Jason had had at the time, and even if Dick's own experiences running from juvie or in Robin Year One were far more finite than Jason's ever were, there's enough of a foundation there for them to build a common awareness of major events in each other's past and like....thus be able to talk about them, unpack them with each other and not have to worry about being judged by someone who just fundamentally might not get it or understand where they were coming from when they made certain choices based on those mindsets.

And then back again, part of why it bugs to so often hear Dick's years growing up in the mansion talked about as wholly a good thing when there's no separating them from the years he spent as Robin, is because Dick has knowledge and awareness of the streets and crime that's predicated entirely on his years as Robin, that's still broader than Jason's in the sense that Jason's knowledge is limited just to his personal, more contained experiences, whereas Dick as Robin interacted with all sorts of crime and criminals and victims. And who better than Dick to learn from in regards to what its like to even BE a teen vigilante, because for all Bruce's experience as Batman, he debuted as an adult, he'll never be able to relate specifically to the fears and finer points of taking on people who are older, bigger, more experienced than you, when you're that young and small. But again, all of that requires like, ACKNOWLEDGING that Dick went through some SHIT when he was younger, and that doesn't have to TAKE AWAY anything from Jason's own hardships, but it has all the capacity in the world to ADD things to Jason's toolbox for dealing with his hardships.

But yeah, ultimately, like....it annoys me to see Dick's own experiences so often glossed over or romanticized in order to act like he's so oblivious to what someone like Jason's life was like, but more than that, it just bums me because its a waste of so much potential material and just.....erases the opportunity for so many stories that could explore actual new, uncharted territory rather than just retread the same old beats about how oh Dick is just oblivious to what REAL hardship is like but Jason gets it, see.

That's gonna get a yawn from me, lads.

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