#but it's in case i make individual playlist of those mess

[skhardwarevers1]

Okay I know I just went over this earlier and a did make a tutorial on TikTok but I feel like saying it here,

burning CDS is easy as FUCK

Or, a little explanation on how I make custom CDs

disclaimer: I use windows so if you use anything else I’m so sorry

I’ll add pictures to go along with this later!!!

things you absolutely NEED

a computer/laptop

(If said computer/laptop doesn’t have a built in disc drive) an external disc drive (there are pretty good ones for like 20-25 dollars!!)

CDs/DVDs obviously (either R or RW, the only difference is that you can rewrite RW CDs and DVDs)

also! DVDs obviously hold picture and video as well as audio, so do what you want with those

Technically step one

if you thrifted CDs like I did, or found really old ones in a box in your home somewhere, MAKE SURE THEY ARE EMPTY!!! If you want to keep the stuff on them, there’s an option to rip them in windows media player legacy (which is what I use to burn them as well)

then to erase it, open file explorer, click on the CD/DVD in your disc drive, click the three dots on the toolbar and select “Erase this disc” (this usually doesn’t take too long)

Actual Step One

if you want to make a mixtape, make a Spotify playlist of all the songs you want and copy the link to it (or any other platform, I just find it easier to make a Spotify playlist because I can download it), if you’re just doing an album then get the link of that album instead (make sure both of them can actually fit on the CD you have! Mine can hold like…74 minutes of music)

then use this handy little Spotify downloader to download a zip file of all the songs (sometimes it messes up and will exclude some, make sure to double check they’re all in there…if not you can download them individually too)

Step Two

in your files, open up the zip file of all the music, select them all, and copy them to music (there’s a whole section for it that media player uses, trust me you’ll see it)

then open windows media player legacy and double check it’s in there—usually it’s gathered by artist

step two and a half

Okay so most of the time I go to organize -> settings -> privacy -> and uncheck all the top boxes. You don’t have to, I just do that…idk why I just have.

Step Three (the easy part)

first make sure the CD is set as an audio CD (and also that it’s actually in the disc drive), and click the burn tab

drag all the songs you want on the CD into the burn list, and reorder them however you’d like! There are options to shuffle them and organize them specific ways if you’d like. Once you have everything all set you can click start burn and all you have to do is wait! It’ll eject once it’s done

Step 4 (optional)

If you have a jewel case, you can print or draw your own custom covers and backs!!!! You can also draw on CDs with a sharpie marker if you’d like. Just remember that slim cases have different sizing than standard cases. There’s also stickers for CDs that cover the fronts of them(? Or so I’ve been told…)

Step 5

make sure the CD actually works, try playing it on a different device if you can, and enjoy!!!

Step “what if I don’t have a CD player?”

well I’m gonna tell you you probably do and just don’t know it! do you have a DVD player laying around your house? That’s a CD player! do you have an old ass computer that would suck with burning the CDs itself but still has a disc drive an everything? That’s a CD Player!

do you have a shitty old karaoke machine? Chances are it has a spot for CDs! THATS A CD PLAYER!

Of course you can get a new one if none of these are functional devices for you or you just don’t have them, but I just wanted to point out that a lot of things can be used to play CDs

or you can help me bring back Walkmans and discmans….if you’re listening to music on the go…./silly

Also! Some cars have spots to play CDs in them!! Your CD doesn’t have to be limited to your home!!!

also also, I’m 70% sure that a lot of game consoles can play DVDs but not CDs. Saying thing incase the information is valuable for someone who wants to watch a good movie on DVD or something….

[mapof-mysoul]

K-POP ?

It's been a while, but here I am. I was under a lot of stress as I was getting a new job. I started this week and though i haven't done much besides training. I'm excited about the possibility. I have been writing and reading and existing. My mind seems clearer not without its usual hurricane  of thoughts but just enough for me to see out from where I stand in its eye. 

Enough for the constant ache to be dulled. Kinda like what KPOP does to me. 

Weird transition but okay. I'll talk about KPOP.

As I write this I'm listening to BTS and Lee Know from StrayKids is commenting on bubble. So my reason for getting into KPOP BTS and my reason for spiraling down its rabbit hole SKZ. I thought it was a small hyper fixation as most things are for me. But a year and a half later here we are multi stan and all.

I joined this world just as BTS was announcing its group hiatus. Which sucked but I think I was lucky also. I get to experience them all for the grammys together and I get to learn them though their own individual music and schedules. I get to see them each for who they are as artists outside of BTS global phenomenon. I get to go back and see their struggles and growth knowing how it will all turn out.

I do however miss those who have enlisted and i'll miss those who still have to enlist. But thanks to BTS I have 5 individual artists I love and soon that will be 7 once JK and V  release their solos.

Thanks to them opening the door I found SKZ, which includes 8 chaotic guys whose music, energy and personalities also make me feel. 

When your mind is a mess to be pulled out of that is as close to euphoric as it gets. 

Yes there are other groups I enjoy. But these particular two make me feel seen, heard and understood. Yes they speak a language I'm struggling to learn but that's the thing they have opened me up to a culture and side of the world i never would have otherwise thought of learning about. Food, culture, language, customs and history are only a few of the things I've allowed myself to start learning. I want to understand them fully. 

The effort it takes is worth it. When you learn the meaning behind lyrics or remarks they make. Whether it's Love Yourself or Youtiful, I am grateful for the feelings behind these songs. I am grateful that I can know this world of BTS and SKZ and get immersed in so much more than their beauty. I mean yeah it's great to look at them, collect photo cards, albums or place posters on my wall. But when I look at those things I remember their words of kindness. 

I remember JK talking about how he missed us. Or Bang Chan seeing us weekly for Channies room. Things they don't have to do. Eat Jin or Asmr with Felix. Jimin and his little building lives or I.N drinking way too many energy drinks. They chose us as much as we chose them. Taehyung and Lee Know taking time to answer comments on their respective platforms. Namjoon's song recommendations on IG or Yoongi telling us the meanings of his songs regardless of how painful it must be for him to relive it. Hyunjin and Jhope dancing across my screen. Or Changbins laughter. Seungmins sacrasm and jokes and Hans' vulnerability.

These mens gentle masculinity is what has led most of us to feel closer to them then other western artists.

I love western music, from pop to rock, classic, jazz and indie but there is also rap and hip hop R & B on my playlist. As a latina i listen to bachata and ballads, reggaeton or merengue and salsa. My playlist has at least 11 languages on it. 

Can you tell I love music?

As a writer, feeling and hearing an emotion can fill me with it. I dont have to know the language, take one of my favorite songs by BTS' Min Yoongi or in this case his alias Agust D, The Last. 

The first time i heard it i cried, no lyrical reference not in either language i know. Just me feeling exhausted from the pain inside myself. Unable to cry at that point. Maybe it was the angsty pain in his voice but I knew I felt it too. I cried. Silent tears covering my cheeks. I was not alone. When I looked up the lyrics I sobbed again, because my soul understood before my mind could. He himself says music doesn't have a language. 

When I had the opportunity to see him in concert I jumped. Because he is my bias after all. I cried twice, once during Amygdala, because I knew exactly what he meant. Our traumas looked different but their effects were the same. I cried again during Snooze as he repeated over and over and over how "everything was going to be okay". As he reminded me to lean on him to take a break, and then when i'm ready pursue my dream once again. It felt good to hear it in person. But I didn't cry during The Last like I thought I would. Instead I smiled because that was a song that connected him and I and millions of people around the world. 

I wasn't an emotional mess the entire time. Instead I screamed in anger during Burn It, a song that gave way to that kind of behavior as well as a lot of his others. But hearing him pause to say hey “from now on i'll write with less anger”. Reminded me of my own writing journey. Of how I too have written angry and dark and pained. But like him I too have begun to step out of that. When im asked why Min Yoongi, its because he spoke to a part of me i thought would never heal and he was there when when it started to. Im not saying he saved me but it really fucking helped to hear someone, like him say "yeah same".

It wasn't just him, my SKZ bias Bang Chan. Might not have done one of his weekly check in in a while but he is also much like me. He fights for those he loves endlessly, forgetting himself in the process. Working until he pushes too far. Wanting to be better, do better, be the best and continually climb that perfectionist ladder.

I've heard him give advice about living and taking care of yourself. I've also heard him say he values respect amongst all things. He has many times spoken to his Stays about leaving the haters alone. He almost said he liked people who didnt give a fuck. But stopped himself saying people who don't care instead. He has talked about periods and sex education calling it explicit education. A Stay asked “what will i do without you?” his response they should live, “live life to the fullest.” He even says that no matter who you are, what you want to be, he will be there for you. As a leader he is both beyond honest and careful, also hopeful that  overly enthusiastic Stays don't take things out of context or too far. He trusts his fandom. 

So when i say i listen to kpop. This is it. I watch endless content from many groups that catch my attention. Often I laugh until my stomach hurts and oftentimes I cry. I Read books they recommend, learn a language and culture and customs and history. So yes kpop sounds toxic or intense but to me it's safe in a world that often does not provide that. 

A world where my own mind is my biggest enemy. This is where I can both find myself while I lose myself. Disconnect from my own life and become immersed in another one. So ill keep reading subtitles and translations while i learn korean. But i'll also learn about their history and customs. 

Bowing, instead of the western greeting of hugs or Spanish cheek kisses I grew up with, is probably my favorite. I've never been a touching random strangers person. But in Dominican Republic that's what you do. I also love art now too. That's thanks to RM, the leader of BTS, who is an art collector and Hyunjin of SKZ who paints masterpieces to destress. I eat plenty of Korean food and visit HMart too much. But i've never been a picky eater. I'll try anything twice. 

So yeah this was all because of K-POP but I'm lucky I found them when I did because things have only gotten better since.

[galacticlamps]

green emoji asks 🦖🌴🥝? c:

🦖 - what’s your favorite dinosaur?

as a kid I loved any of the ones with really long necks because I loved going to the natural history museum and being in one of the biggest rooms I'd ever seen and there being a GUY whose NECK took up practically the whole length of it all on its own

as an adult, I have a little dino carved from some kind of rock that I keep on my bookcase which I choose to believe is like a low-res stegosaurus even tho the ridges on its back are not individually marked & that specific (vaguely defined) dude is my favorite dinosaur

🌴 - what’s your dream vacation?

Hmm, I don't really feel like I have one? There are plenty of places I know I'd like to go if I ever get the chance but in my mind calling something a dream vacation implies a bit more of a plan than that. (I think that's bc I'm not very good at the whole relax & do nothing kind of vacation - if I'm going somewhere I really feel like I've gotta research all the details before to make sure I'm doing & seeing enough that it's not a waste of time or money. But that includes taking into account seasonal/temporary events/shows/exhibits, and I don't bother looking into those things unless I know I have an opportunity to follow through on them coming up soon, which hasn't been the case for a while now)

But if I stop being fussy about the fact that I'm not actually dreaming about a specific itinerary for five seconds, then the answer's definitely Scotland. Of all the places I want to see, it's got the worst ratio of minutes I've spent in the country (being zero) to number of things I want to see there, from whole cities and areas down to individual museums, historical sites, places relatives came from, national parks, and even distilleries. But it's also way too much to fit into one trip, so I think of wanting to go there as less of a specific vacation than other things I want to do less badly but can at least conceive of more clearly - like saying that in the fall, I hope to visit a relative's house in the mountains and spend a few days in a little town with a nice cider mill.

🥝 - what’s your music taste like?

A mess! Really, I'm so bad at putting music in categories. My main playlist is literally called What's a Genre - and it's 90% Irish & Scottish bands (though even saying that feels misleadingly homogeneous, since I can count everyone from the Dubliners to Hozier & the Tannahill Weavers to the Proclaimers that way) but there's also other things that kinda maybe fit there, like The Amazing Devil (and Robert Hallow & the Holy Men? does anyone know if they still exist?) and The Decemberists, and then ones that even I know don't belong there, like ELO and MCR. And that's just the one playlist. If I'm working from home, my go-to is Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald & co for some reason. When it comes to decades, I tend to favor 60s pop (or is it rock? I'm not sure I know the difference), and I'd take the Kinks over the Beatles - but I also keep them on a playlist with ABBA, David Bowie, Queen, and They Might Be Giants (which is mainly for both cleaning & hanging out with friends). I also still own & regularly listen to a lot of music from different genres whose only unifying factor is 'was actively on the radio when i was in middle school.' And I'd be lying to make myself sound cooler if I didn't also admit that I have a pretty sizable library of cast albums & show tunes, which I'll also shuffle through like any other playlist. The last album I bought was Skerryvore's Tempus that came out last week, the only concert I've been to as neither a friend nor a worker was Billy Joel. I think the Waterboys might be my most 'any context, any mood' safe to put on in the background to vibe with w/o getting distracted, especially Fisherman's Blues. When I'm not looking to listen to something very specific, the only deterrent from putting my entire library on shuffle is the fact that random Big Finish audio tracks will play if I do that.

So I think the friends who've called it 'eclectic' were being generous, but I also don't have any better descriptors to offer up.

[icharchivist]

The Journey So Far - A Mix of DGM songs on spotify // Others Playlists

or “i am too lazy to sort them out by invididual playlists just take it” the dgm playlist by yours truly.

Each song’s names are under the cut by alphabetical order with a vague reason why they’re on the list. Might also edit it as time goes by.

current song number: 158 songs, 11h02m of listening

A.

Abel and Cain - D’espairsRay (Mana&Nea) / Alive - Superchick (Lenalee) / All Fall Down - OneRepublic (Allen) / All of Everything, Erased - Kevin Devine (Allen) / All We Are - OneRepublic (Allen/Exorcists) - Alone Together - Fall Out Boy (Allen/Exorcists) / And We Run - Within Temptation (Lavi) / Anonymous - Three Days Grace (Lavi or Allen) / As We Fly South - Walking On Cars (Lavi)

B.

Back From the Dead - Skillet (Allen) / Battle Cry - Skillet (Exorcists) /  A Beautiful lie - 30 Seconds to Mars (Lavi) / Bleed It Out - Linkin Park (Kanda) / Broken Crown - Mumford and Sons (Mana&Nea) / Buried Alive - Lovers & Liars (Kanda) / Burn - Three Days Grace (Lavi) / Burning Down - Skillet (Lavi) 

C.

Carnivore - Startset (Nea) / Castle - Halsey (Nea) / The Cave - Mumford and Sons (Lavi) / Closed Eyes Still Look Forward - Chiodos (Allen) / Color - The Maine (Allen) / Come With Me Now - KONGOS (Allen) / Control - Halsey (Mana&Nea) / Copy of a Copy - Dead Poetic (Allen) / Crawl (Carry Me Through) - Superchick (Lenalee) / Creatures - Shinedown (Noah&Allen) / The Crooked Kind - Radical Face (Lavi)/ Crossfire - Stephen (Allen&Exorcists) / Cry For Help - Shinedown (Cross) / Cynics & Critics - Icon for Hire (Exorcists) 

D.

Dangerous - Within Temptation (Kanda) /  A Dangerous Mind - Within Temptation (Allen&Nea) / Dark Matter - Les Friction (Earl&Noah) / The Dark of You - Breaking Benjamin (Allen&Nea)/ Darkside - Shinedown (Earl&Noah) /  A Day’s Pay For a Day’s Work - Darkstar (Kanda) / A Demon’s Fate - Within Temptation (Allen&Nea) / Devil in Me - Halsey (Allen&Nea) / Devour - Shinedown (Earl&Noah) / Dirty Night Clowns - Chris Garneau (Allen&Mana) / The Disappearance of the Girl - PHIDEL (Lenalee) / Dog Days - Within Temptation (Kanda) / Dust Bowl Dance - Mumford and Sons (Allen) / The Dying Kind - Joy Williams (Gen)

E.

Earth - Sleeping At Last (Allen) / East Jesus Nowhere - Green Day (the Order) / Edge of the World - Within Temptation (Allen) / Emperor’s New Clothes - Panic! At the Disco (Earl&Noah) / Endless War - Within Temptation (Allen) / Erl King - Ghost Bees (Allen&Earl) / Every you, Every me - Placebo (Kanda&Alma) / Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Lorde (Order&Noah) / Evolve - Shinedown (Nea&Allen&Noah) 

F.

Figure It Out - Royal Blood (Allen&Nea) / Final Destination - Within Temptation (Allen&Nea) / Flawed Design - Stabilo (Lavi) / Float - The Neighbourhood (Allen) / Floods - Sir Sly (Allen&Mana&Earl) / Fool Like You - KOVACS (Alma) / Forgiven - Within Temptation (Kanda/Alma) / Frozen - Within Temptation (Alma) 

G.

Get Out Alive - Three Days Grace (Kanda) / Ghost Town - Radical Face (Allen) / Ghost Town - Shiny Toy Guns (Exorcists) / Gift For You - Celldweller (Alma) / Going Under - Evanescence (Kanda/Alma)

H.

Hand of Sorrow - Within Temptation (Allen&Mana) / Happy Ending - Mika (Kanda/Alma) / HeavyDirtySoul - Twenty One Pilots (Allen) / Help I’m Alive - Metric (Allen) / Hero - Skillet (Lavi) / Holding Onto You - Twenty One Pilots (Allen) / Human - Daughter (Allen) / Humility - Gorillaz (Nea&Mana) / Hurricane - 30 Seconds to Mars (Kanda/Alma) 

I.

Illusion - VNV Nation (Kanda/Alma) / In Vain - Within Temptation (War&Allen) / Iron - Within Temptation (Nea) /  It Has Begun - Starset (War) / It’s the Fear - Within Temptation (Allen&Nea) 

J.

The Judge - Twenty One Pilots (Allen) / Junior - Stateless (Lavi) / Jupiter - Sleeping at Last (Allen) 

L.

 Let Us Burn - Within Temptation (Lavi) / Let’s Kill Tonight - Panic! At the Disco (Nea&Noah) /  A Light That Never Comes - Linkin Park (Kanda) / Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons (Lavi) / Louder Than Words - Les Friction (War) 

M. 

Mad World - Within Temptation (Allen&War) / The March - Hypnogaja (Allen&Exorcists) / Marchin On - OneRepublic (Allen&Exorcists) / Melting In My Icebox - Bronze Radio Return (Lavi) / Memories - Within Temptation (Allen&Mana) / Mercury - Sleeping At Last (Allen) / Mercy Mirror - Within Temptation (Nea&Mana) / Message Man - Twenty One Pilots (Allen) / Metamorphosis - Blue Stahli (Alma) / Mirror Mirror - Jeff Williams (Allen&Nea) / Miss Missing You - Fall Out Boy (Kanda/Alma) / Mirror - D’espairsRay (Mana) / Monster - Imagine Dragons (Alma) / Murder - Within Temptation (Nea) / My Blood - Ellie Goulding (Kanda) / My Demons - Starset (Allen) / My Song Knows What You Did In the Dark - Fall Out Boy (Allen&Earl) 

N.O.

Nashville - Noah Gundersen (Allen) / Nearly Morning - Luke Sital-Singh (Allen) / Neptune - Sleeping At Last (Lavi)/ Our Solemn Hour - Within Temptation (Innocence) / Out Of It - Fallulah (Allen) 

P.R.

Pale - Within Temptation (Kanda) / Paradise (What About Us) - Within Temptation (Exorcists) / Pluto - Sleeping At Last (Allen) / Polarize - Twenty One Pilots (Lavi) / Raise Your Banner - Within Temptation (War) / The Recknoning - Within Temptation (War) / Rediscover (No Parallels) - Hands Like Houses (Allen&Exorcists) / The Resistance - Skillet (Exorcists) / Running With The Wild Things - Against the Current (Exorcists) 

S.

Savior - 30 Seconds To Mars (Allen) / Savages - MARINA (Lavi&Humanity) / Scared - Three Days Grace (Allen&Nea) / She’s A Handsome Woman - Panic! At The Disco (I.. don’t even know just...) / Shed Some Light - Shinedown (Lavi) / Silver Moonlight - Within Temptation (Allen) / Slow Fade - Casting Crowns (Allen) / Somewhere - Within Temptation (Kanda) / Still Breathing - Green Day (Allen) /  A Strange Education - The Cinematics (Allen)   / String Theory - Les Friction (Mana&Nea) 

T.U.

This is a Call - Les Friction (Mana&Nea) - Trapdoor - Twenty One Pilots (Allen) / Trouble - TV on the Radio (Allen) /  The Truth Beneath the Rose - Within Temptation (Allen) / Unbreakable - Three Days Grace (Allen) / Undefeated - Skillet (Allen) / Uneven Odds - Sleeping at Last (Mana or Cross & Allen) / Us Against The World - Coldplay (Exorcists) 

V.W.

Viva La Gloria (Little Girl) - Green Day (Lenalee) / Viva La Vida - Coldplay (Earl) / Wake me Up When September Ends - Green Day (Allen&Mana) / Walk Unafraid - First Aid Kit (Allen) / Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance (Allen) / What Have You Done - Within Temptation (Kanda/Alma) / What I’ve Done - Linkin Park (Kanda) / Where is the Edge - Within Temptation (Nea&Allen) / Who Will Save You Now - The Friction (Nea) / Whole World is Watching - Within Temptation (Allen) / Wicked Ones - DOROTHY (Noah) 

X.Y.Z.

X-Amount Of Words - Blue October (Kanda) /  Yami ni Furu Kiseki - D’espairsRay (Kanda/Alma) /  You’re Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring (Lavi) / Young and a Menace - Fall Out Boy (Allen) / Youth - Daughter (Lenalee&Exorcists) / Zombie - The Pretty Reckless (Alma) 

[starredforlife]

What is the love story between al/lupa? I think they’re super cute!

Omg thank you so much for asking 🥺🥺🥺 sorry if I don’t get to this ASAP I’m on a film set rn but lemme see if I can recap briefly- edit: i started writing this like two weeks ago, exited out of the ap, and now i have to rewrite it all oops lol

OKAY (under the readmore):

All the main five meet at the same time! In the beginning, Al’s a ghost and Lupa’s been living on her own for a while. They start out on somewhat rocky footing, with Al disapproving of a lot of what Lupa does and Lupa brushing Al’s opinions off. They view the world in such completely different ways that they have no choice but to clash tbh. Al is scared at how unbothered and rough Lupa is, and Lupa hates how much Al stresses responsibility and moral obligation. Of course, at their cores, Lupa is actually very hurt and alone and Al is (very badly) repressing like a million desires and emotions, one of those being an extremely frustrating and all-consuming crush on the werewolf girl.

I don’t know how much I want to spoil tbh but to try and condense it: They find some common ground and an affection for each other during the first season, bordering on potential romantic interest. Unfortunately, they’re separated rather traumatically. Lupa believes Al has died (for good this time), and Al leaves Lupa convincing herself that it’s best she not know the truth. They find other about 6 months later (second season), each having “moved on” (hint: not really). There’s a lot of pent-up resentment for a while, along with some genuine efforts at friendship, but it feels like it’ll never be the right moment, so they’re stuck in this kind of settled state. It’s not until Lupa breaks up with Buster that her own feelings for Al sneak up and like. fuckin sucker punch her. Al still has her own yearning, but she’s matured to the point where being around Lupa doesn’t make her feel like she’s about to have a nervous breakdown at any given second. this time around, it’s Lupa’s hot mess summer. and idrk how to surmise the third season because both of them are really just playing a stomach-lurching game of tug o war, where they feel so much for the other it makes them sick, but they also try to avoid it, but they also know they’d do anything for each other, and maybe it’s best to leave it at that?

so like, duh, they sleep with each other bc they’re both 20-somethings and painfully in love. and then they swear they won’t do it again, and of course that’s impossible. it’s a case of “this is a very bad idea. i love you too much to do this to you.” and then immediately breaking that promise. through this they’re also carrying each other through fights with a terrifying wannabe god (villain of s3), and their own individual struggles with monsterhood.

the thing that solidifies their bond is simply the fact that they can, throughout it all, be themselves with each other. when they’re together it feels like they actually exist as people in that moment, and no part of them is denied. they allow each other rage and grief and hate and all the nasty stuff; there’s a total understanding between them. it’s a little addictive to be so unashamed, essentially. so they do get together, after these years of change and tumult and hard-wrought argument ironed into genuine friendship and a sort of roaring, aching care for the other. in the end, it’s still Al and Lupa, annoying the shit out of each other, but they wouldn’t want it with anyone else.

you know the poem about the tiger that breaks from the cage? do you know what it means to want to be another person just hold them from the inside? like how death doesn’t stop us from loving other people, but in fact makes it possible to love this way in the first place. that’s the relationship between al and lupa. anyways i like them a lot here’s their playlist goodbye <3

[queerdraws]

Cleaning Out the Rooms - a Harry Du Bois playlist Alcoholism, getting better?, memory loss, being a superstar, The Final Dream, forming political opinions, bad breakups, past transgressions, being a strange and inconsistent being, and persisting despite it all 26 songs (r-slur warning for Turnin’ on the Screw - QotSA)

including: David Bazan, They Might be Giants, The Mountain Goats, British Sea Power (of course), Queens of the Stone Age, and more.  Full track listing and lyric excerpts under the cut

---- Turnin' on the Screw - Queens of the Stone Age (This is the opening track on Era Vulgaris, seemed like an appropriate opening song / introduction to Harry's general essence) ----

... They say those who can't just instruct others And act like victims or jilted lovers You can't lose it if you never had it Disappear, man, do some magic

Want a reason? How's about because You ain't a has been if you never was

I sound like this

Scared to say what is your passion So slag it all, bitter's in fashion Fear of failure's all you've started The jury is in, verdict: r******d

I'm so tired, and I'm wired too I'm a mess; I guess I'm turning on the screw

---- Bless this Mess - David Bazan (Harry being a drunk and a general mess, things going in cycles) ----

God bless the man who stumbles God bless the man who falls God bless the man who yields to temptation God bless the woman who suffers God bless the woman who weeps God bless the children trying her patience Trouble getting over it Is what you're in for So pour yourself another 'Cause it'll take a steady pair of hands Holy or unholy ghost Well now I can't tell, but either way you cut it You should get some distance if you plan to take a stand God bless the house divided God bless the weeds in the wheat God bless the lamp hid under a bushel I discovered hell to be the poison in the well So I tried to warn the others of the curse But then my body turned on me I dreamt that for eternity My family would burn Then I awoke with a wicked thirst

---- Don’t Sit Down Cause I’ve Moved Your Chair - Arctic Monkeys (general Harry vibe.  off-kilter) ----

Break a mirror, roll the dice

...

Find a well-known hard man and start a fight Wear your shell suit on bonfire night Fill in a circular hole with a peg that's square

But just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair

...

Bite the lightning and tell me how it tastes Kung fu fighting on your roller skates Do the Macarena in the devil's lair

But just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair

---- I've Been Seeing Things - They Might be Giants (feels very Harry's detecting style, surreal happenstance) ----

I've been seeing things I've been seeing things Don't have answers but I've got lots of questions

Carpool's up, someone gets out Hand someone else a violin case I'm trying not to let them see me looking at them But I'm pretty sure there was a dollar sign

Keep your eyes peeled and you'll see stuff Which at first seems like unimportant irrelevant things

Can't just ask some perfect stranger "What are you hiding in your violin case?" Shadow them at a distance instead Try to get inside their head

Where'd they go now (Where'd they go now) I got distracted (I got distracted) Begging me to stay (Begging me to stay) Wearing a disguise (Wearing a disguise) That lady (That lady) Must have ditched the kid (Must have ditched the kid) Hidge the down (Hidge the down) [???] What's she up to now? (What's she up to now?) Trembling cold by the airport road Watching them stack containers in rows Seagulls, helicopter, windblown trash Something doesn't add up

I've been seeing things I've been seeing things No one asks but I'm packing all kinds of attention

Later I'm watching a news report Camera pans across a crime scene Unremarked upon detail Empty violin case Okay maybe not the same case Different material, different color Still you have to wonder Am I the only one who knows

I've been seeing things

---- Music is the Victim - Scissor Sisters (breakup Harry.  drug-addled disco Harry) ----

I left my heart in San Fransisco It's at some motherfucking disco The people there where dancin' on it And that's including Ms. Matronic

Hell if music is the victim then so am I Of lovin' and a cheatin' the snake gon' bite I beg and I scream and I cuss and I cry If music is the victim then so am I

Of your bad fun Money's all gone but you need some Lover's on the phone but they got none Daddy ain't home from the dog run And you're riding through the city with a shotgun

I left my bag in Pasadena Where all them girls was doin' Tina Them bitches sure were crunked up on it I said I'd rather smoke some chronic

Hell if music is the victim then so am I Of lovin' and a cheatin' the snake gon' bite I beg and I scream and I cuss and I cry If music is the victim then so am I

---- Down to Your Soul - Right Away, Great Captain! (about the Final Dream and pre-game Harry) ----

And I see things I actually don't see. I knew it wasn't actually you a few feet from my reach. I looked into your eyes and I began to lose my teeth, And I felt you were dreaming the same thing.

And I know you don't know what I'm capable of But if you give me just one more minute I'm sure That you would be shaking right down to your soul And I'd hope that the fear of the lord brings me home. I'm a man in a body of water so tall Could swallow you whole and forget where he's going But I carved a map in the back of my arm Don't worry I'm coming home I said don't worry cause I'm coming home

---- No Surprises - Radiohead (suicidal harry, pre-game.  Maybe immediately before the game.  A little Big Communism Builder) ----

A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government They don't, they don't speak for us I'll take a quiet life A handshake of carbon monoxide

And no alarms and no surprises

…

This is my final fit My final bellyache

…

No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here)

---- Cleaning Out the Rooms - British Sea Power (The instrumental part seems to have been used / referenced for a background music track.  And also the name of that one thought project. as expected, it fits beautifully.  Wake up in a new life, down by the seaside.  Cleaning out the rooms.  She’ll be coming soon.) ----

Where life is good in a way Swept away upon our hearts, in cold coal ceremonial On a rainy day, hang it up Get the vacuum and suck it in Cleaning out the rooms, I'll clean it up Dark cloud, drifting out of view I'll never know, she'll be coming soon, that is all I'll wake up in a new life, ship shape and shoe shine Cleaning out the rooms, I'll clean it up She'll be coming soon Drifting into view, way in the west, white cloud If everybody knew, I never knew, she'll be coming soon I'll wake up in a new life, down by the seaside In a new life, down by the seaside Cleaning out the room, I'll clean it up Dark clouds, she'll be coming soon Down the chimney, out the window, that is all

---- In the Morning of the Magicians - The Flaming Lips (waking up with no memory, but bad vibes) ----

In the morning I awake

And I couldn't remember What is love and what is hate

The calculations error

Oh, what is love and what is hate? And why does it matter? Is to love just a waste? And how can it matter?

Oh...

As the dawn began to break I had to surrender The universe will have its way Too powerful to master

---- Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads (Huh??  What's happening??  same as it ever was, same as it ever was) ----

And you may ask yourself, "How do I work this?" And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful house" And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful wife"

...

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was Same as it ever was, same as it ever was

...

And you may ask yourself, "What is that beautiful house?" And you may ask yourself, "Where does that highway go to?" And you may ask yourself, "Am I right? Am I wrong?" And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"

---- Don't Change - David Bazan (alcoholism, cycles of wanting to get better, depression, slipping in to old coping mechanisms, plus a little bit in here about dreams.  This is a song for if Harry continues partying after the memory wipe, I suppose) ----

He seems nice You met him once or twice But you wonder what he's like When he's sober

Then again You hear he has no friends Just people that he spins To do him favors

When he wakes up in the morning he tells himself Today I'll make a change But falling into his bed at night he thinks Man it was a beautiful day to stay the same

I'm so deep That only in my sleep Do the secrets that I keep Float to the surface

So I hold them down Till they don't make a sound Like they accidentally drowned Except on purpose

And when I wake up in the morning I tell myself Today I'll make a change But falling into my bed at night I think Man it was a beautiful day to stay the same

---- Airbag - Radiohead (born again, back to save the universe) ----

In the next world war In a jackknifed juggernaut I am born again In the neon sign scrolling up and down I am born again

In an interstellar burst I am back to save the universe

In a deep, deep sleep of the innocent I am born again In a fast German car I'm amazed that I survived An airbag saved my life

In an interstellar burst I am back to save the universe

---- A Comet Appears - The Shins (puppeting a man-body around pretending to be a living thing. drinking, depression) ----

One hand on this wily comet Take a drink just to give me some weight Some uber-man I'd make I'm barely a vapor

They shone a chlorine light on A host of individual sins Let's carve my aging face off Fetch us a knife Start with my eyes Down so the lines Form a grimacing smile

Close your eyes to corral a virtue Is this fooling anyone else? Never worked so long and hard To cement a failure

---- The Communists Have the Music - They Might be Giants (Big Communism Builder, but especially Harry's shallow understanding of Communism.  Party-boy communist) ----

I got handed an Ayn Rand sandwich Straight from the can, it tasted so bland I asked a lass to pass me a glass Of Engels' Conditions of the Working Class

Right away they dragged me to the committee To explain my un-American activity They're gonna see they made a mistake If they'd only let me play my mixtape

I'm not partial to the martial Or the plutocrats, in their beaver hats And the fascists have the outfits But I don't care for the outfits What I care about is music And the communists have the music

---- Harlem Roulette - The Mountain Goats (Harry thinking about Guillame le Million?  Generally: that vibe of secret, maybe supranatural machinations happening just outside your field of view.  A kinda lonely, pensive vibe, sprinkled with past drug use, driving...memory) ----

Unknown engines underneath the city Steam pushing up in billows through the grates Frankie Lymon's tracking "Seabreeze" in a studio in Harlem Its 1968. Just a pair of tunes to hammer out. Everybody's off the clock by 10:00. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again. Feels so free when I hit the avenue. Nothing like a New York summer night. Every dream's a good dream, Even awful dreams are good dreams, If you're doing it right. Remember soaring higher than a cloud. Get pretty sentimental now and then. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again. And four hours north of Portland, a radio flips on. And some no one from the future remembers that you're gone. Armies massing in the dusky distance. Ghosted in the ribbon microphone. Leave a little mark on something, maybe, Take the secret circuit home. Nothing in the shadows but the shadow hands. Reaching out to sad, young, frightened men. The loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again.

---- Suture up Your Future - Queens of the Stone Age (Harry's gonna fix his mess) ----

I'm gon' suture up my future I ain't jaded, I just hate it See, I been down too long It's kinda hard to explain Burned and buried, all I carried

...

Tried explaining unexplained Got caught in the plan All this talking at once I've been giving my love away To the things that tear it apart I'm gonna suture up my future

---- Lampshades on Fire - Modest Mouse (Harry trashing his body / having already trashed his body, just kinda a Harry-vibe song) ----

...

Well, the lampshade's on fire when the lights go out This is what I really call a party now Well, fear makes us really, really run around A-this one's done so where to now? Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all Well, you all know what I'm talking about The room lights up, but we're still dancing around We're having fun, having some fun now

Pack up again, head to the next place Where we'll make the same mistakes Open one up and let it fall to the ground Pile out the door when it all runs out

...

As our feelings are getting hurt Oh, we want you to do the work Our ass looks great inside these jeans Well, we want just our water clean

Well, this is how it's always been And this is how it's going to be So you just move on

---- Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes (Harry "can-opener" du Bois.  Talking to the skills, solving things, detecting, generally being a terrifying force of nature / the pale) ----

I'm gonna fight 'em all A seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back

And I'm talking to myself at night Because I can't forget Back and forth through my mind Behind a cigarette

And the message coming from my eyes Says, "Leave it alone"

Don't wanna hear about it Every single one's got a story to tell Everyone knows about it From the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell

And if I catch it coming back my way I'm gonna serve it to you And that ain't what you want to hear But that's what I'll do

And the feeling coming from my bones Says, "Find a home"

---- Body of Years - Mother Mother (Harry's past that follows him, Harry's half-decomposed body that marks the years of abuse it's been through) ----

All the remains of a cadaver of days I keep hidden away, keep them there just in case I wanna visit that place Blow the dust from the bones Off a body of years that I leave all alone Just a body of years

See the skin disappears And the blood turns to stone In a body of years now a pile of bones Like a sheet of veneer Each a piece of my soul It's a body of years that I leave all alone

It's Just a body of years, now a pile of bones You know Old soul who falls down Can't stop trippin' on these Old roads I go down Get back up and get my foot in the door And my face on the page Make my mark in the world With a bat and a blade It's a body of work that you can't ever change Like a body of years that you take to your grave It's just a body of years that I leave all alone It's just a body of years, now a pile of bones Like a sheet of veneer Each a piece of my soul

---- The Cap-m - They Might be Giants (just a Harry vibe song) ----

When I talk you keep looking away from me 'Cause you probably think that I'm high on pot But I'm not, I'm not

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm You say it's such a joke But I don't see you laughing

People seem to think you can't be called the Cap'm Unless you drive a boat Well, I don't I don't

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm Go ahead and mess with me You'll find out what will happ'm

...

Did you say what I think you just said My hat looks good on me? I agree, I agree

Look me over, I'm the Cap'm You act like it's a joke But I don't see you laughing

---- Broke - Modest Mouse (oops!  all mistakes.  Broke it all.  Want to forget it but can't) ----

Broke account, so I broke a sweat I've bought some things that I sort of regret about now Broke my pace and ran out of time Sometimes I'm so full of shit that it should be a crime

Broke a promise 'cause my car broke down Such a classic excuse it should be bronze by now Broke your glasses, but it broke the ice You said that I was an asshole and I paid the price

Broken hearts want broken necks I've done some things that I'd love to forget, but I can't

Broke up, and I'm relieved somehow It's the end of the discussions that just go 'round and 'round And 'round, and 'round, and 'round ... It was like everything was evidence of broken time

You're living on fancy wine You'll drink that turpentine You're starting conversations You don't even know the topic

---- Spent Gladiator 2 - The Mountain Goats (Defiantly alive) ----

Like a spent gladiator, Crawling in the coliseum dust. Who can count on his remaining limbs, All the people he can trust. Like the one who stands behind him, Cheering him on. Ecstatic when he stands defiant, Wild with abandon when he's gone. Just stay alive. Keep your eyes on the pay line. Like a village on the step, About to get collectivized. When the men emerge with rifles from the haystack, Everybody looks surprised. Like the mice in the forgotten grain, Way up on the top shelf. Like someone who's found a small town to escape to, Keeps one eye on his abandoned, former self. Stay in the game. Just try to play through the pain. Like a fighter who's been told its finally time for him to quit. Show up in shining colors, And then stand there and get hit. Like the clock that ticks in Dresden, When the whole town's been destroyed. Like the nagging flash of insight, You're always desperate to avoid. Like the bloody-knuckled gunman, Still stationed at the breach. Like that board game with the sliders, And the children on the beach. Stay alive. Maybe spit some blood at the camera. Just stay alive. Stay forever alive.

---- You Only Live Once - The Strokes (just general Harry, talking about the skills, choices you can make, what kind of cop you can be) ----

Twenty-nine different attributes Only seven that you like, oh-oh Twenty ways to see the world, oh And twenty ways to start a fight, oh

...

And countless odd religions too It doesn't matter which you choose, oh, no One stubborn way to turn your back, oh This I've tried and now refuse, oh

Oh don't, don't, don't get up I can't see the sunshine Oh, I'll be waiting for you, baby 'Cause I'm through Sit me down Shut me up I'll calm down And I'll get along with you

---- Pork and Beans - Weezer (Superstar Cop) ----

They say I need some rogaine to put in my hair Work it out at the gym to fit my underwear Oakley makes the shades to transform a tool You'd hate for the kids to think that you've lost your cool

I'ma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans Excuse my manners if I make a scene I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like I'm fine and dandy with the me inside One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink I don't give a hoot about what you think

Everyone likes to dance to a happy song With a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along Timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the charts Maybe if I work with him I can perfect the art

I'ma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans Excuse my manners if I make a scene I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like I'm fine and dandy with the me inside One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink I don't give a hoot about what you think

No, I don't care I don't care

---- Freaks - Surf Curse (head filled with skills, The Final Dream) ----

Don't kill me just help me run away From everyone I need a place to stay Where I can cover up my face Don't cry, I am just a freak

I am just a freak(x3)

My head is filled with parasites Black holes cover up my eyes I dream of you almost every night Hopefully I won't wake up this time

I won't wake up this time(x3)

---- The Smallest Church in Sussex - British Sea Power (oh yeah this is mandatory) ----

[backonmybilly]

1,3,5,16,21,22,26,42,49,56,65,76,88

Thank you for so many asks! Hope I haven't messed this up somehow but I think I did it all right.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

(asked before so copy paste)

I think I'll rely on my Spotify on repeat playlist for this one XD.

Star Shopping by Lil Peep, it's been my most listened to song on Spotify for 3 maybe 4 years now. LOVE IT!

Without Me by Halsey ft. Juice WRLD

Sweater Weather by Jade De Mure

Robbery by Juice WRLD

Life Is Beautiful by Lil Peep

Running With The Wolves by Aurora

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"Do you fear to speak to me?" I asked.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Super boring answer unfortunately, just my sister messaging saying "dogs were fed, cat wasn't."

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I usually just listen to solo artists so this is pretty tough but simply for how many of their songs I know all the lyrics of I'll say Linkin Park.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No I have not, yet.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Although my overall answer is no I will say that over the past maybe 2 or 3 years I've definitely made progress towards that goal, I've not become who I want to be yet but I'm closer than I've ever been before.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Despise it, my work involves moving around a lot of fuel so most days at work the smell will linger about for ages, hate it.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

So many, too many bored idiots back in school, I think everyone had rumors spread about them here.

56: In a relationship?

Not yet and sadly I don't think I'll manage to be in one for a while, lonely boi hours over here.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

In no particular order here's the best 5 Tumblrs I follow. A small collection of some of the nicest, coolest, straight up best people I follow.

@chanandchilde

@hopefulwriter101

@eugeliaskintea

@cokebody4

@whit3-monsst3r

Big internet hugs for all these lovely people. (Of course only if they're okay with that)

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Time to put my 0 experience into action here, from seeing the relationships of others crash and burn countless times I gotta say trust, commitment, and honesty, all this checking their phones just in case and those fucking people that ask their friends to "test" their significant other by flirting to see if they'll cheat, just stupid immature crap. Trust, commitment, honesty.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I'm not gonna name a guy from school and I don't wanna be vague so let's go with Bezos, honestly I don't really think killing an individual will actually change much but I hate him with a passion so fuck him.

[waywardbeanie]

A Man of Letters - Chapter Thirteen

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: It started as a simple hunt for Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t realize that this single case would change his life forever. Now they are on the biggest mission of their lives, and without the use of cellphones, the only way he can communicate with the love of his life is through old fashioned letter writing. He has done everything in his power to keep her safe, but will it be enough? Word Count: 7889

Series Warnings: Language, slow burn, angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fluff, SPN typical violence (individual chapters will contain relevant warnings) a little meta Chapter Warning: SPOILER if you have not seen Season 14, humor (Is that really a warning?) and a little bit of sweet.(Always), angst.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this series so far, I have loved writing it and watching the characters grow. I appreciate EVERY ONE OF YOU who are taking this journey with me. We are a little less than half way there so BUCKLE UP!

Thank you to my beta @winchest09​ and my mind melder, idea bouncer and my cheerleader @whatareyousearchingfordean​​ I would be lost without you both!

MASTERLIST A Man of Letters

If you’d like to be tagged, my list is open. Just send me an ask HERE: **Make sure you check out the playlist, it is updated every chapter and an essential part of the story**

Spotify Playlist : A Man of Letters

Catch up here >>>>>>> A Man of Letters Masterlist

This series is ongoing!

No Gif’s are mine

                                         Dean "I Build Shit" Winchester

                                                   PO Box 323

                                             Sioux Falls, SD 57101

Dear Dean,

I decided to go up to the cabin, but don’t worry about sending letters here. I will be back at the bungalow before you mail the next one. I know this job is necessary; we talked about it for a while before you left; I think all of us are just at the end of our rope with how long it is stretching on forever. How did the raids go? I hope that they are turning up something to get this thing moving in the right direction. I’m so glad we redid the inside of the cabin, now that it is entirely different just how we want it, it doesn’t drag up all of my parents' sad memories, only the good ones. Do you remember that we had our first fight here? I think I can count on one hand the number of actual arguments we have had, looking back it seems so silly now,  kind of, but I was so angry and hurt, understandably so. Sam and I were definitely on the same team at that time. The snow is beautiful at the cabin right now; you can see about two dozen ice fishermen from the dock. Jody calls about once a week; we chat, and I know she is checking on me; I’m also sure you know she does. One of the other reasons I came up here is to get away from all of the nosy people. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think they are great, but one more question from the older people about if I ‘stopped seeing that nice boy’ or the interrogations from the women who are digging for information, I was going to freak out, so off to the cabin I went. I miss Donna too, but I’m glad you have her there. I’m sure she shared the story when she, Jody and I got drunk when they came down to check on me at the cabin during the spring, when everything was a mess. It was rough at the time, but it was a good weekend with them. 

Ugh, these sad-sack letters are killing me. I swear, the next one will be happy; I think all this time away from each other is just hard. Whoever said, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can kiss my ass because really, all it does is make me miserable or angry, and I hate being either of those things. On a happier note, I drew a picture of the new deck. I think we should build when you come home as you asked me to months ago. I think we should make it larger than the one that is there now. Don’t worry; I can hear you laughing at me  saying, “Of course you do” I think I will close for now and bake some muffins so I can include it with this letter. Please tell everyone I said hello, and I’m seriously counting down the days until you get back here. Please stay safe and watch your ass.

I Love You,

Your Initial

20 months ago

Deans POV

After Michael possessed Dean for the second time, he locked him away inside his mind, using the same beer cooler that Michael had created as Dean's happy place to cage him up. Michael never stopped banging, never stopped trying to get through the door. Still, Dean was confident that he had him locked up for good until Billie, now known as Death, came to see him in the bunker to tell him all of his stories in the library now ended the same, with Michael breaking free and using his vessel to burn their world down, all but one. The book that Billie gave him to let him know he had some choices to make.

Dean walked into the library the next morning to find Sam sitting at the table surrounded by books. “Whatcha reading?”

“Looking for stuff on archangels, it’s pretty interesting stuff,” he commented, looking up to face his brother, a determined look resting on his face.  “Dean, we will find a way to fix this.”

“You know,” Dean gestured to the table, “I appreciate it, everything you have done, and you are doing.”

“Of course,” Sam smiled thinly, “that’s what we do, we are going to beat this. We have a lot to go through, why don’t you pull up a chair? I could use some help.”

“Actually, I thought I would go for a drive, you know me and Baby and a long stretch of road, and while I’m at it I thought I would go see Mom at Donna’s cabin, then Y/N,” he was glancing through the books on the table, doing whatever he needed not to make eye contact with his baby brother.

“Oh...okay,” Sam stuttered. “Yeah, give me a minute so I can get to a stopping point, and I will gather my stuff so we can go.”

“Well, about that,” Dean stalled, “I was hoping for some, one on one time with Mom and I just need to check on Y/N to make sure she is okay and to let her put eyes on me, so she knows I am too.”

Sam’s eyebrows knitted as he looked at his older brother; something wasn’t right, not to mention that he had Michael banging around in his head, yet, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. “It will be good for you to see them, and I know they both want to see you, do whatever you need.”

Dean pressed his lips together, trying to keep the sadness at bay. “Okay.” 

As he walked around the table, he stopped behind Sam and reached around to hug him tightly for just a moment. 

Standing up, he patted his shoulder, “Take care, Sammy.” 

It was then that Sam began to realize there was more to Dean’s visits then he was telling him. The younger Winchester waited until he heard Baby leave the garage to start his search, hoping that he could find some answers to his brother’s decision to leave the bunker.

“Sam,” Y/N smiled as she picked up the phone.

“Hey Tink, how are you doing?” he asked, but she could hear an edge to his voice.

“I’m good.” She was walking around her newly finished kitchen at the cabin, wiping off the counter before she stopped and set the phone down, putting it on speaker. “You don’t sound so good. What’s going on?”

“Have you talked to Dean?”

“Yeah, Dean called last night," she thought back. "He said he was going to see your Mom, then come here, also that he wanted to work on a few things in the boathouse to clear his head. Why, Sam, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Tink, I’m worried,” he sighed. “Ever since we locked Michael up, he has been acting strange, and now, he’s packed up and just left when we have so much to do.”

She pulled out one of the stools from the counter and sat down, resting her elbows on the counter and holding her head up with her hands, staring at the phone. “You know how he is, Sam; He hates research when a lot is going through his head, Dean needs to move, that is how he thinks best.”

“I know, it’s just-” she could hear him running his hands through his hair, “he hugged me before he left.”

“Okay…” she scrunched her eyebrows together, “that was nice.”

“Tink, we don’t hug, you know that,” he sighed. “I mean, we do, but it’s literally a life or death thing.”

She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know, Sam, he will be here late tonight, he is going to have dinner with your Mom first. Have you talked to her?”

“I have, Dean called her and said he would come by because he had a supply run. Maybe you’re right; it could be he needs to work in the boathouse and get moving to clear his head.”

“He and I will talk when he’s here, Sam. If I’m worried or if things don’t seem like they should, I will call you, I swear.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks, Tink,” he sighed, “talk soon.” 

Dean opened the door quietly to the cabin, the only light in the living space was above the stove, giving the area a soft glow. Dean spotted Y/N immediately asleep on the couch. Closing the door softly behind him, he sat down his bag and leaned against the wall, never taking his eyes from her. Curled in a ball, she was facing him; her hair spread on a pillow, Y/N wore a fitted tank top with a pair of plaid boxers that he laughingly referred to as her old man underwear. Her expression was peaceful, with slightly parted lips. He began to wonder if she knew how beautiful she was or how her pure heart had changed his life for the better, but most of all, he questioned if she knew how much he really loved her. Leaving his brother was hard enough, but leaving her would be the most difficult. He wiped at a tear that silently rolling down his cheek, his heart beat painfully in his chest, knowing the anguish that she and Sam would face when they find out he is gone. 

“Babe,” she heard Dean whisper, shaking her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Y/N slowly blinked open her eyes to see him crouched next to her.

“Hey,” she smiled sleepily, “I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”

He brushed her hair back and pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s after 2:00 in the morning; I would have been surprised if you were awake.” He slipped his hand in hers as he pulled her from the couch. “Let’s hit the hay; I'm so tired.”

She followed him groggily as he led her into the bedroom. Once inside, he closed the door behind him as she crawled under the sheets and watched him strip down to his boxers. He pulled down the blankets and slid in, drawing her to his side as she snuggled in and rested her head on his chest, tugging her closer, he kissed the top of her head. Her hand started to roam his chest as she leaned in and ran her lips up his neck to his ear.

He captured her hand with his and stilled it against his chest. “Babe, I really want to, I do, but I’m just exhausted tonight.”

“Okay.” 

That is when she knew something was wrong; when Dean had a lot on his mind having sex was always a top priority, it let him forget about everything else. She snuggled back into him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Both were staring into the dark, lost in their separate thoughts until sleep finally overtook them. 

The sun was streaming through the window when Y/N woke up the next morning to an empty bed, reaching over she touched his side to feel the cold material under her fingertips. She strained to listen for a moment, hoping to hear him rattling around in the kitchen, but it was dead silent. A feeling of uneasiness washed over her as she got up and walked to the chest of drawers, pulling on a clean hoodie and pair of shorts. She padded out to the kitchen to start coffee then walked over to the window, peeking through the blinds; Baby was still there parked next to her Jeep, so she knew Dean was around here somewhere. Making her way to the bathroom she washed her face, brushed her teeth and then picked up her phone, to call Sam.

“Hey Tink.”

“Sam,” she greeted, jumping right in, “I think you're right, I don’t know what it is, but something is going on.”

“Yeah,” she could hear the concern in his voice, “I think I should come up; there is some stuff missing from the bunker.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Just let me try to talk to your brother. I told you I would call, but maybe he needs some time.”.”

“Okay, okay,” he conceded. “Just let me know if anything changes with him?”

“I will, Sam,” she promised, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Right,” Sam agreed, “soon.” She didn’t know the younger brother was already on his way to the cabin. He had his suspicions, and none of them were good.

Y/N laid her phone on the counter and finished making her coffee. Picking up her mug, she headed outside to find Dean. Hearing noises coming from the boathouse, so she made her way toward the dock when the sound stopped, and a moment later, Dean walked out the door, slamming it behind him. The look on his face chilled her to the bone; she couldn’t put her finger on it exactly; it was a mixture of anger, resolution, and sadness. When he spotted her standing in the middle of the yard, mug in hand, he pasted a smile on his face, but she knew, even from where she was standing, that he was pretending for her benefit, the smile never reached his eyes.

“Hey Babe, What are you doing out here?” 

“I woke up, and you were gone, I thought maybe you had left, when I saw Baby was still here I thought I would come to find you and see what you were up to.”

“Oh, you know,” he ducked his head so she couldn’t see his face, “just messing around.”

“Anything in particular?”

“No, nothing specific,” he finally looked up, making eye contact. “You know a lot of stuff needs to get done, so I thought I would get a drop on it. Besides-” he opened his arms “-I needed to come see my girl,” he pulled her into him, holding her tight. He closed his eyes, feeling her in his embrace. This is what he was going to think about later when there were no more choices left to make.

She pulled away, looking up at him, her fingers running along the scruff of his jaw as she met his gaze. “Dean, whatever you are going through, whatever you are thinking, you can talk to me.”

He swallowed hard, a pained look sweeping across his face. “You know, everyone keeps asking me how I am, but here's the thing-” he inhaled deeply “-I just don’t want to talk about it, I can’t...please.”

She leaned against him, laying her face into his chest. “If you say so,” she whispered.

Dean kissed the top of her head, lingering for just a moment before leaning back to look at her face. “I’m starving, why don’t we head to that diner in town and grab some pancakes?”

Y/N scrunched her nose, “I’m not really feeling pancakes,” she lied. What she needed was to get in that boathouse to see what the Hell Dean was doing because she knew him well enough to know something was going on, she could feel it in her bones.

“Seriously?” he asked skeptically. “You don’t want pancakes? You love pancakes.”

She shrugged stepping out of his embrace, “I don’t know Dean, I think donuts from the bakery sound really good. Can you go get some?” 

“I guess I could,” he hedged, glancing quickly at the boathouse.

“Great!” she smiled turning to walk towards the cabin. “Can you get the apple fritter and jelly kind? You know those are my favorite.”

Stopping at the steps, he bent to brush a kiss to her lips before continuing on to Baby. Cranking the engine, he glanced one more time at Y/N and roared down the driveway. She stood at the bottom of the steps until she could no longer hear the Impala. Setting down her cup on the steps she turned and glanced at the dock. 

The blood roared in Y/N’s ears, and her heart banged against her ribcage as she quickly made her way to the boathouse she was praying that she could answer what was going on with Dean in there. It was more than just Michael locked away in his head; she could feel it.

The door opened with a loud screech that made her jump. She rolled her eyes to herself; sneaking around was just not her thing. Snapping the switch on, she saw a large metal rectangular box with symbols carved into it. She stood and stared at it for a moment as she swallowed the bile rising in her throat; it looked like a coffin. Y/N slowly made her way to the container. A few books were sitting on the top; with shaky fingers, she flipped open the first one; it had a picture of a casket matching the one in front of her with a skeleton lying inside; she riffled through the pages, scanning them as the realization dawned on her. It is a Ma’lak box, and it's to imprison archangels. She clamped her hand over her mouth as sour taste hit her tongue, her insides twisting. She slammed the book closed and ran out of the boathouse, making it out just in time to lose her stomach's contents on the dock's side. The dry heaves hit her as she finally stood up, wiping her mouth with her sweatshirt sleeve. Her brain was jumping in a thousand different directions at once. 

Dean was going to kill himself. She couldn’t think straight; she pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes in an attempt to get her thoughts together. “SAM!” her head screamed. She sprinted toward the cabin; Y/N knew she left her phone in the kitchen so she would call Sam, he would know what to do. As she was almost to the porch, the roar of Baby’s engine came up the driveway; she had run out of time.

She stood on the porch as Dean got out of the car, a white bakery box in hand. His long strides brought him to the bottom of the steps quicker than she could pull herself together. His smile fell as he saw her pale face and watery eyes.

“Babe, what’s going on?” his face filled with concern.

“No, Dean!” she pointed at him, her voice, a mixture of barely contained anger mixed with hysteria.

He set the box down on the steps, the knot in his stomach growing heavier with the apprehension that she knew his secret. “Tell me Y/N,” he rasped.

“I saw it, Dean,” she shakily accused, “what you are building in the boathouse, what you are planning. How could you do this?”

“It needs to be done. Y/N, there is no other choice.” He ran his hand over his face, resigned. “Billie showed me that if I don’t do this, Michael will break free, and if that happens, he will burn this world down, and I can’t risk that.”

“So what is the big plan, Dean?” she threw her hands up, raising her voice. “You and Michael get in that damn box, and we just pick a spot and bury you?”

“Not exactly,” he shook his head, climbing the steps to join her on the porch.

“Then what?”

“I don’t want to-” he reached for her, but she backed up out of his grasp.

“Bullshit!” she exploded. “You do not get to do this, Dean, you do not get to say you would rather I didn’t know, it’s too fucking late for that.”

“Fine,” his anger rising, “ burying me isn’t good enough, I’m going to find someone with a boat to drop me in the middle of the Pacific,” he brushed his hands together. “Done, problem solved.”

“So let me get this straight,” she started, tears streaming down her face, “ you and Michael, trapped underwater, together until the end of time. You know that’s crazy, right?”

“No Y/N” he sighed, “ it’s the only sane plan there is. Michael can’t get out of that box and he will get out of my head, eventually. So this, it’s the only card I have left to play.”

“Fuck that and fuck Billie!” she yelled, stomping her foot. “There has to be another way! Sam can find another way; you don’t have to do this!”

“Listen,” he pleaded, “Sam has tried, you know he has with Cas and Jack too. There is no other way Michael is coming,” he tapped his temple with his index finger. “I can feel that door in my head giving way; I’m out of options.”

“So that’s it,” she cried. “You came out here to build this, stopped by to see Donna and your Mom for what? To say goodbye, and then just leave? You were going to leave and not say goodbye to Sam or me, just disappear? Do you know how unfair that is?”

Anger and regret flashed in his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t have a choice, don’t you see that? You two were the last two people on this earth that I could be around because you are the only two that could talk me out of it, and Y/N I won’t be talked out of it, I can’t.” 

She stared at him, her chest heaving, the understanding that she was helpless to stop him washing over her, the pain almost crushing her. “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

“Can’t do what?” he demanded

“I can’t stand by and watch you kill yourself.”

 “I don’t have any other choice,” Dean lamented sadly. “What do you want from me?”

“You know I have never asked you for anything,” she shot back.

“Then ask for something!” he yelled.

“Fine,” she threw up her hands, pacing on the cabin's porch, “I want you to be safe! I don’t want you to die! I just want you to think about-” she choked out a sob.

“What Y/N?” he grasped her shoulders, stopping her misstep. “What is it that you want? Tell me!”

“Really?!” she shouted, jerking out of his grasp but standing her ground, tears continuing to roll down her face. "You want to hear this now? Well, here it is: I want you to love me more than you want to save the fucking world, okay?”

Dean stepped back, flinching as if she had physically slapped him. At that very moment, he realized she had no idea how deep his feelings for her were. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” she laughed humorlessly, “sorry for what, Dean? Sorry for making me fall in love with you, sorry for pretending that we might have a future together, or are you sorry for throwing it all away to lock yourself in a fucking box to die? Please tell me!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t move, which made her cry harder in anger. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her; she struggled for a moment before collapsing onto his chest, her mournful cries shredding him inside as he tried to stop his tears from falling. They stood there holding each other, fearing letting go would mean saying goodbye forever.

When Sam pulled into the drive, Dean and Y/N were sitting on the stoop, both looking out to the woods, her hand resting in his. Dean turned to look at his brother; when their eyes met, Sam knew that whatever was happening was terrible; Dean’s eyes were red-rimmed, jaw clenching, and unclenching. Y/N glanced up, the look of anguish scared him. Getting out of the car, he slowly approached them.

“What are you doing here, Sammy?” Dean asked, his voice raspy and monotone. 

“Some things were missing from the bunker,” he replied, “things that I can’t figure out why you would take.”

Y/N exhaled loudly, "Tell him, Dean," her voice flat as she stood up, pulling her hand from his. She walked up the three steps into the house, closing the wooden door quietly behind her.

“Tell me what?” he asked harshly, knowing he would not like the answer.

Dean stood up and began to make his way to the boathouse. “Come on,” he waved, his voice solemn, “I’ll just show you.”

Sam followed his brother into the boathouse, at the sight of the metal coffin, anger and sadness hit him full force. Dean tried to explain the plan to his baby brother, however the more he went into detail, the more infuriated Sam became, frustrated with his brother's willingness to self-sacrifice. .

“So, that’s it, then?” he questioned, “are we even going to talk about it?”

“Why?’ his older brother answered, “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Dean,” Sam appealed, “we know we could die, it’s part of the job, but what you're doing? It’s worse than death. Michael is an archangel; he could keep you alive and buried with him forever.”

Dean lifted a shoulder, defeated. “It doesn't matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t!” Sam yelled. “You are just willing to walk away from all of us, from your family, who want to help you! Aren’t you even scared?”

 “I didn’t say I wasn’t scared,” he sighed, running his hands over his hair, “but what’s the other option? Michael gets out and destroys everything because it’s all right there in Billie’s book, just like I told you.”

“That's only if we can’t find another way, Dean, there has to be another way.”

“And what is that way, Sam?” Dean asked, resigned, “Tell me.”

Sam threw up his hands, searching for words to fight his case.

“Exactly,” he pointed his finger at his younger brother, “which is why it’s going to be my way. Look, Sammy, you are either with me on this or not. If you aren’t with me, you gotta tell me now; I need to know if you are going to see this thing through to the end.”

“I don’t like it, Dean, there has to be another way, but you will not do this alone. I give you my word.”

“I just don’t need you to get shaky on this or you and Y/N to come up with some plan that isn’t going to work. It has to be my way.”

“What about Cas and Jack or Mom?” Sam questioned, “You haven’t said anything to them; why?” 

“I know,” Dean huffed, running his hand along the back of his neck. “I’m just not good at the big goodbye thing; I can’t second guess myself now.”

“Well, Dean,” Sam shook his head, disappointed, “that wouldn’t be the worst idea.”

“You know what Michael wants; you know this is the only way to stop him, so either get on board or let me know now because I’m not going to drag this out.”

Sam looked at his older brother in the eye. “I said I am there until the end, and I mean it, I don’t agree with it, and I think there is another way, but I have your back Dean, always.”

“There is a trailer outback; I’m going to hook it up to Baby, then I need your help loading this box on it. Can you do that?”

“Of course,” Sam nodded once, “What about Tink?”

“I don’t know if she is going to come back out of the house.” He rubbed his stubble in thought.

“So, that’s it?” Sam questioned angrily, “You are just going to leave her there, after all of this?”

“No, Sam,” he met his brother's eyes, matching his anger, “I’m going to go in there and do the thing I never wanted to do, I’m going to tell her goodbye.” He choked on the last word, “So, I need you to do me a favor, Sammy.”

“I know what you are going to ask me,” he stated.

“Well, I’m asking anyway, watch out for her, would you? Check-in just to make sure she is alright.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam looked at  Dean, his lips in a firm line, “I will, but I’m telling you she isn’t going to be fine, none of us are.”

Dean hooked up the trailer behind Baby, and he and Sam loaded the Ma’lak box, securing it to the trailer. Sam went to gather all of the tools from the boathouse as Dean walked into the cabin. As he entered the front door, it was eerily quiet, Y/N nowhere to be found; he stuck his head into every room checking for her. Dean knew in his gut she was in the bedroom they shared, his stomach sinking just a little bit more with every step to his destination. Stopping in front of the door, he saw her lying on the bed, under the covers with her back to him, staring out the glass wall.

“Babe,” he said softly, she didn’t move, she didn’t acknowledge him, he knew she wasn’t sleeping as he watched her breath. Tiptoeing into the room, he sat on the bed, placing his large hand on her back to comfort her. Instead, she flinched under his touch, which was an arrow to his soul. Standing up, he walked to the other side of the bed, crouching down in her eyesight, he tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t look at him, instead just closed her eyes, silent.

“Y/N,” he whispered, “I have to go.” He watched her face as he said the words, tears leaking from her closed lids soundlessly. Brushing her hair back from her face, he leaned and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded her head once against the pillow, acknowledging his words, squeezing her eyes tighter, afraid to speak for fear she would fall apart.

“Please look at me,” he pleaded, his hand resting on the side of her head, his thumb brushing against her brow. She squeezed her eyes tight and then opened them, her tears glistening off her lashes. Dean wished he hadn’t have asked her, he saw all of the pain she felt  in her expressive eyes, which made him physically feel the grief he was causing. Her heartache was going to be what he remembered when he was locked in that box, haunting him for eternity. Dean didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to close himself in that damned coffin. Yet, he didn’t have a choice. Between Y/N and Sam, he was starting to waver. Her watery eyes blinking at him, he smiled sadly. Leaning down, he brushed a soft kiss across her mouth and heard her choke back a sob. Speaking against her lips, he whispered, “I love you, Y/N. You’ll forever be in my heart..”

Standing up, unshed tears in his own eyes, Dean pulled the blanket up, tucking it underneath her chin. Shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, he walked to the bedroom door.

“Dean,” she choked out.

He paused, turning around, she was still facing the window, on a shuttered breath, she spoke, “I will always love you.”

With that, he turned on his heel, the tears finally falling as he made his way to the car and his brother, away from the only woman he truly loved with every ounce of his being.

Dean’s POV

The next three weeks were a whirlwind. Sam talked him into taking one more job before they dropped him in the ocean. Dean knew he was stalling for the inevitable, but what was one more job? Dead bodies with symbols carved in them? Enochian marks, it was right up their alley. They were prophets or more specific damaged prophets because Donatello was in a coma thanks to Castiel, not exactly dead but not alive. They were able to bring Donnie back, again thanks to Cas, he still didn’t have a soul, but there were worse things at this point. 

Dean and Sam had fought. His little brother had sucker-punched him, trying to knock some sense into him, accusing him of throwing in the towel and quitting on not only him but Y/N. That they must mean nothing to him after everything that had done together, Sam believes in them, so why doesn’t Dean? 

The elder Winchester then made the decision to put the Ma’lak box on the back burner, just for the moment. It was still the only option he could see, but if Sam needed to see this through, he was going to give that to him, how could he not? The younger Winchester  was right; after all, they had been through a lot together, how could Dean just quit? He believed in them, in all of them and Hell, Billie might be wrong after all, but one thing he knew for sure is that he could count on his family. Dean made Sam and Cas promise him that if it comes to an end and they have run out of options, they would do what they couldn’t do now, and that was let him go. They had to promise to put him in the box and drop him in the ocean's bottom. 

Once the promises were made, they headed back to the bunker, Dean's phone burning in his pocket; he just wanted to hear her voice. Still, until they came to a resolution with Michael, he could not call her; this painful back and forth was never what she agreed to. At this point, she may never forgive him, so he needed to hold tight to see if they could find a solution before he reached out to her again.

A few days after they got back to the bunker, they got some information on a guy who owned a pawn shop who had robbed and killed Bart Kemp, a friend of theirs who was murdered and his place emptied. In the boxes of occult items recovered, he discovered a Baozhu pearl, only one of eight in existence; it was supposed to give you what your heart desires. Dean knew he wanted to throw Michael out on his ass, no more riding shotgun in his head. The brothers knew they were running out of options; this might be their last hope.

When they got home, they decided to try it; if it didn’t work, there was no reason to share it with the rest of the family. Placing the pearl in his hand, he concentrated on Michael leaving; he knew it must be working because the lights went out, and that is when all hell broke loose, in the very best and very worst way possible. In the dark, someone hit them both with the butt end of a shotgun; as the lights came back on, standing in front of them was the one person the brothers ever thought they would see again, their father, John Winchester.

It took them all a few minutes to wrap their head around what they saw as John struggled with the fact that they were so much older than when he was pulled 16 years into the future. Sitting at the kitchen table, they tried to fill their father in on all of the things that happened since he traded his life and the colt for Dean’s life so many years ago. Although in shock and a little awe, John agreed it was all worth it to avenge Mary’s death, but that was the news that would knock John on his ass as he heard Mary’s voice calling to their boys as she entered the bunker.  

Seeing his parents see each other for the first time in decades was bittersweet for Dean, that his heart desired to have his family together. Just one person was missing because he didn’t have it in him to call her and disappoint her one more time. He and Sam figured out quickly that bringing their Dad into the future had changed the whole trajectory of history. Sam was a kale eating attorney who gave Ted Talks; Dean was still a hunter wanted by every agency under the sun. They knew the only way to fix this was to send John back to 2003. That is the Winchester way, doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost. They were able to have one meal together before they sent their Dad back, the one meal that they would always remember, although John would recall it as a dream. Mary told John about Y/N during the dinner, although she had yet to meet her, she and Dean had been together almost a year and a half, and Mary saw the joy she brought to her eldest son and wanted her husband to know it too. John pulled Dean to the side before they had to say goodbye for the final time.

“Dean,” his father began, “I never meant for this, for you to live this life, this was my fight never yours, it was my fight with yellow eyes, now look at you, you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you,” he sighed. “You know son, I guess I hoped eventually you would find a life, a normal life, a peaceful one, settle down and start a family of your own.”

“You know, Dad,” Dean smiled sadly, “I have a family.”

John matched his sad smile with one of his own, “I know you do, with Sammy, Jack, and Cas, and it’s a good family.” Reaching out he and grasped his shoulder, “but Dean, you have a chance to have what your Mom and I had, not with all the tragedy that comes with it, but a real-life that you can call your own, with a woman that loves you,” John chuckled, "despite your faults. Your Mom said she is something special.”

“She is Dad; she really is,” Dean choked.

“Well then,” he smiled, “when all this gets figured out with Michael, and don’t you kid yourselves, you two boys will figure it out. You need to go to Y/N and tell her Dean, tell her that the world does not spin without her, because if you don’t, and you try to live this life without her? You will die, maybe not on the outside,” he patted his chest over his heart, “but in here. Trust me, son, I’m telling you this because I lived it. Go to your girl, Dean. You will have a life better than you could ever dream of.”

“Thanks, Dad” Dean's mouth quirked up at the side, tears shining in his eyes, “that means more to me than you will ever understand.”

“I know I didn’t always show it-” John rasped, “because I was too wrapped up in my own revenge, but Dean, I wanted the best for you and Sam always. Now you two have a chance to live your best life, do it, both of you.” He pulled Dean to him and hugged him tightly, “go and live the only life your Mom and I ever wanted for you. I love you, son.”

“You to Dad,” he choked. “I love you too.”

Inhaling deeply, John sniffed as he stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets, "well, I guess we need to get to it then.”

“Yeah,” Dean croaked, hanging his head.

Standing in the library, John hugged his sons, reminding them again how proud he is of both of them and also reminding Dean that he should listen to his old man’s advice. He held Mary’s hand as Sam crushed the Baozhu pearl under a pottery bowl, watching with heavy hearts as John disappeared.

As Dean lay in his bunk that night, he flipped through the pictures of Y/N on his phone. The smile on her face warmed him through the photograph as his father's words repeated through his mind. There was one thing that troubled him. What if this was the time that she could not forgive him? What if this was the thing that destroyed everything they had built together? What if once again he sabotaged his own life for everyone else. If they could figure this Michael situation out, he would call her, no, he would get in Baby and find her because she deserved nothing less and just hoped to God or whoever was listening that she would give him one more chance.

In the next few days, Sam was busy searching through more books to find answers until they got a lead on a demigod who was killing humans and consuming their bodies. Even with Rowena’s help, the gorgon was always one step ahead of him until he left a note for Dean after killing a truck driver, realizing that they couldn’t see Cas. The pounding in his head was getting worse, and Dean was sure if they didn’t find something soon, he would find himself at the bottom of the pacific. Dean just hoped that he didn’t have to fight Cas and his brother on this because he just wasn’t sure he had it in him. He wasn’t sleeping much, so instead, he spent that time dwelling on how different things would be had he made other choices. 

He talked to Jody; she and Donna had driven to see Y/N at the cabin. She didn't say too much except that Y/N was surviving. That turned Dean’s world upside down, yet he was helpless at this point to do anything but move forward or take the plunge. Either option did not look appealing to him. 

Rowena put on a tracking spell on the demigod and sent Castiel and Jack in first because the Gorgon couldn’t see them; as the fight ensued, Sam and Dean joined in when things went sideways. He was stronger than he looked and got the drop on Dean, smashing his head multiple times against the wall's corner, leaving him unconscious. Jack was able to behead the demigod before his escape and used his powers to save Cas because Rowena's anti-venom did not work on angels. 

They made their way back to the bunker from New Mexico, Dean never regaining consciousness. When he finally woke up, he was in a rage, destroying a part of the infirmary. He told them this would happen, and now there would be hell to pay; Michael was gone, broke down the door that Dean had him locked behind in his mind, and now he was gone, now the world would burn. Hearing screams from the war room, they ran to find Michael jumped inside Rowena. He didn’t give her a choice; she wasn’t Dean, but she was strong and a close second, Now Michael was going to take over this world just like he had planned when he came through the rift all those months ago, except this time there was no one to stop him. Or so he thought.

Michael was enjoying causing Dean, Sam, and Cas pain; Jack was unaffected, but that was just a small distraction. Suffocating them, blinding them, causing them pain was just a little game until they suffered a bit before ending them all. Jack had had enough, to hell with his soul burning up; he would kill Michael or die trying. Michael thought he would stop him? He was the son of Lucifer, a hunter, a Winchester! With that, Jack placed his hands on either side of Rowena's head, driving Michael out. As Michael's essence swirled around the ceiling, Jack burned up his remaining soul by torching Michael and ingesting his grace. Michael was dead. It was over, and no one else had to die by Michael’s hand; Dean was free.

The older Winchester’s first thought was Y/N. Michael was dead, sure they had to think about dealing with Jack without a soul, but it couldn’t be that hard, right? He had to get to her to fix this. Dean needed sleep, and he was also worried about how Sam was coping, but they could hold off for a few days, right? He had 10 hours to figure out how to make it up to her as he headed to Castle Rock Lake. He wanted to make her see that Michael was gone and that he was sorry that he had put her through everything, but he was back, entirely himself and would never put her through it again. 

By the time he got to the lake, it was early morning, the excitement and trepidation making him almost jittery. As he cleared the trees to the cabin, he looked up to see the door to the cabin slam closed; his heart sunk a little as that was not a good sign. He was tired from the drive, hell he was exhausted from the last three weeks, but his Dad was right, he needed her.

Climbing from the car, he strode up the walkway and climbed the steps stopping in front of the door. He knew his girl well enough that he would bet every dime in his pocket that she was standing just inside with her back pressed up against the door. Laying his palm against the wood, he called to her.

��Babe.”

“No, Dean,” came her muffled reply.

“Come on, Babe, come out here and talk to me,” he tried to reason.

“I can’t do this again.” He could hear her crying. It hurt because he knew it was all because of him, but he was trying to fix it...if she would just let him.

“Y/N, just open the door.” 

“No, go away, Dean, I mean it go away.”

Stepping to the door, he leaned his forehead against the heavy wood with a sigh, “I’m not leaving; I will just stand here until you open up.”

“No, you won’t!” she yelled, he could hear the panic in her voice; she knew him, if he said he was going to do something, it would happen. “I will call the cops!” she threatened.

“Really?” he stifled a chuckle. “You are going to call the cops on me?”

There was a moment of silence before she huffed out a “No.” 

“Babe, open the door,” he pleaded.

“I’m not opening the door; you just need to go. Seriously, I can't do this anymore, Dean. I don’t want to be just one more of your responsibilities. I just need to figure out how to-” her voice cut off on a sob.

“I just want to see you, so you can tell me to my face that you never want to see me again.”

“Why?” she yelled, banging her fist on the door. “Can’t you just listen and do what I ask?”

“It’s simple,” he almost smiled; he knew that the longer it took her to open the door, the better chance he had of fixing what he had broken. “You open the door and look me in the eye and tell me you're done.”

“You are an asshole!” she screamed as she banged on the door.

“That may be sweetheart,” he chuckled, “ but I’m not stepping foot off this porch until you look me in the eye.”

“Well,” she laughed sarcastically, “You will be out there a long time.”

“Ah, well,” Dean smiled as he turned around and sat down, bracing his back on the door, “you know how stubborn I can be, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Chapter 14

Tags: @winchest09​ @katehuntington​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​ @superfanficnatural​ @deanwanddamons​ @janicho88​ @talesmaniac89​ @anathewierdo​ @compresshischest09​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @jensengirl83​ @this-is-what-im-reduced-to​ @ellewritesfix05​ @moron225​ @foxyjwls007​ @hobby27​ @unicornqu33n17​ @swinchester27​@4fareader @deans-baby-momma​ @squirrelnotsam​ @clumsy-nerd104​ @sarahbaker2010​ @supernatural-love14​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @angelhearts1012​ @nothinbuttrouble2​ @cookiechipdough​ @lady-pswrld​ @peachyafshawn​ @notan-applepielife​ @linki-locks11​ @atc74​ @divadinag​ @dvnmbabe​ @michellethetvaddict​ @stoneyggirl​ @fernandaburdasova @smol-and-grumpy​ @440mxs-wife​ @abuavnee​ @krazykelly @malfoysqueen14​

[sunkissedpages]

breaking curfew [part one] || th x reader

A/N: did i proofread this??? uhhhhh...

Summary: When you got the job to be a counselor at the summer camp you’d grown up attending all your life, you expected to see some familiar faces. But you certainly hadn’t counted on having to work alongside the boy who had made it his life’s mission to make your life a living hell every summer. In fact, you thought you’d never have to see Tom Holland again. But he’s is in the cabin right across from yours with campers of his own- smirk, jawline, and all. If you didn’t know any better you might’ve thought that he applied for the position just to spite you, but who were you kidding? What kind of asshole would do something like that?

Warnings: swearing, few mentions of anxiety symptoms

What I listened to while writing: the breaking curfew playlist by @cinnamon-roll-peter!!

Word Count: 3.5k

Prologue | Series Masterlist

“And she’s allergic to shellfish! It should say on the form, but I just wanted to be extra sure you knew!” You nodded reassuringly as you listened to the nervous mother ramble on about her daughter’s health. The little girl, May you thought her name was, looked eager to join the others who were coloring on the floor inside the cabin, but her mother kept a tight grip on the strap of her backpack. You couldn’t say that you blamed the woman. She was about to leave her child with you for two whole months with only one visiting weekend in between. It was enough to make any parent anxious. “She always keeps her epipen on her too, and she knows how to administer it to herself, but if you want to show the other kids how to do it at some point tonight that would be really he-“

“Mom!” the girl sighed, cheeks red with embarrassment.

You smiled. “I’ll show all my campers how to use the epipen before bed tonight. One of my other girls has a good allergy as well, so we’ll all be sure to be extra careful.”

The mom seemed to relax a little at that and let go of her daughter’s bag. “Okay, thank you. I guess that’s my cue to leave then.” 

May turned around to give her mom a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before skipping past you into the cabin to color with the other girls. 

“I love you, May!” the woman called after her, eyes glassy. “Make sure to behave, okay? I’ll see you soon!”

May waved noncommittally from inside, and shouted a weak ’I love you’ back at her mom. She was already engrossed with the Disney Princess coloring sheets you’d spread out on the floor and was currently trying to decide what color Anna’s outfit should be. That was clearly too important to be distracted from by anything else, even her own mother.

You watched as May’s mom turned and walked back down the steps towards the parking lot and breathed a sigh of relief. Three down, two to go. 

Drop-offs were always a tossup. Sometimes they went off without a hitch, and sometimes there were tears from both parties, parent and child, and having to gently separate them from each other was a nightmare. So far, though, things had been running relatively smoothly. There had been some sniffling from your first camper, Grace, but as soon as another camper showed up she was too busy making a new friend to even think about missing her dads. 

You glanced back at your campers, all chattering and coloring excitedly. Grace, Evangeline, and May. You tried to memorize the distinct features of each girl so you wouldn’t get them confused later, or worse lose one of them. 

May had fair skin, and light brown hair done in neat, small braids down to her shoulders. Eva had a few missing baby teeth already and dark curly hair. And Grace, your first camper, had dirty blonde curls and a few freckles dotted across her nose. 

You already knew a little bit about what they were like from reading through their files and stalking their parents’ social media accounts, but you tried not to make judgements based off of what you’d already seen. You wanted to get to know your girls organically. As much as parents liked to think they knew their kids better than anyone, they often only got surface level versions of their childrens’ personalities by only seeing what they chose to see. 

Amalia was dropped off next by both of her parents. She was your only international camper, coming all the way from Senegal. You had been wondering why she’d travel halfway across the world to go to a tiny camp in the Smoky Mountains, but that question was answered when her father explained that they had business up in Maine for the summer. 

You shook his hand as well as her mother’s before they kissed Amalia goodbye and sent her off into the cabin. You watched her join the group no problem. Eva even made a space for her in the circle and handed her a coloring sheet. 

That just left Theo. She was the last camper you were waiting on and the dropoff window was starting to get narrow. Parents and campers were supposed to check in between three and five pm so that everyone would be there in time for dinner, but it was already a quarter till five and still no word. 

You left the front door propped open in case they showed up and took a spot on the floor with your girls. 

They all stopped coloring and looked up at you expectantly. You cleared your throat awkwardly and smiled tightly. Why were you so nervous all of the sudden? You were the cool college kid... right? And they were just second graders... who were you kidding, you really wanted them to like you.

“Hey guys, I’m your counselor for the summer,” you said, “and I met all of you individually, but I wanted the chance to get to know you as a group! So we’re gonna go around the circle and introduce ourselves with your name, where you’re from, and showing everyone what you colored. I’ll go first. I’m y/n, I’m from New York, and I colored this picture of Belle from Beauty and the Beast earlier.” You pulled the folded piece of paper out of your pocket and showed it to the girls. You’d rushed it this morning so it was subpar at best, but they all complimented it anyway. “You wanna go next?” you asked Grace, who was sitting to your left. 

“I’m Grace, I’m from Washington, and I colored this picture of Jasmine and Raja.” She showed you and the other girls the sheet. She’d given Jasmine her signature blue outfit, but the tiger was now pink. Respect.

You turned your attention to Eva and the girls followed in suit. She held up a picture of Ariel to show everyone. 

“I’m Evangeline, I’m from Arizona, and this is what I colored.”

Then, “I’m May, I’m from California, and I did this picture of Anna and Elsa.”

“I’m Amalia, I’m from Senegal, and I colored a picture of  Mulan, but I didn’t finish it.”

With introductions out of the way, the four of them turned their heads back towards you, waiting for further instruction. You checked your watch and sighed quietly. There was still a bit of time to kill before dinner.

“Okay, let’s start making our beds and unpacking our things before we head to dinner and meet everyone else.”

The girls scrambled for their bags that you’d stashed over in the corner to keep out of the way and started pulling sheets, blankets, and random clothes out all at once. You quickly realized none of them would know how to put a fitted sheet on a bed and cursed under your breath. You should’ve done things in a more organized manner, but now here you were, standing in the midst of chaos. And several pillow pets. 

You decided to do beds one at a time, which is really how you should have done it the first time, and got the other campers to help you. Each girl took a corner of the fitted sheet and wrestled it onto each mattress. By the time you got to the last bunk the five of you were like a well-oiled machine. The final bed was able to be made in under a minute flat, pillow pets and all. 

 The girls all congratulated each other on their hard work with high-fives, and then asked if they could do it again. Unmaking and remaking all of the beds sounded like a nightmare so you promised them you’d let them try and break their bed-making record on the next laundry day and they seemed satisfied with that.

It was almost time for dinner and your last camper still wasn’t there yet. You decided to round up your girls anyway and head over to the mess hall. They were probably getting hungry and you didn’t want to be known as the late cabin so early in the game- though knowing you it was inevitable at some point. 

Only Eva needed help tying her shoes, and then they were all ready to go. You were about to leave when you remembered May’s allergy band. Forgetting it could’ve been potentially disastrous. You quickly fastened it around her wrist before slipping into your own already-tied sneakers and beckoning the girls to follow you out of the cabin.

You locked the door behind you and hustled down the stairs two at a time onto the wet grass. The sky was streaked with thin pink clouds, alluding to the sunset that would follow. You admired it as you walked, thinking about how good it felt to be back in this place. The girls chatted behind you as you walked, but you were zoned out and focused on the scenery around you. 

A light layer of fog was draped over some of the mountains in the distance, sparkling where it caught the light from the sun. From where you were standing it looked like a big blanket had been thrown across them and it reminded you of those early morning hikes your counselors made you and your friends do when they caught you sneaking out at night.

The mess hall was already buzzing one you arrived with your campers. There was already a line of kids weaved around the room, waiting for food. You ushered your group over to table eleven to put their stuff down and then go hop in line. You watched them go and started after them, but stopped to talk to Z. She was leaning against her empty table, waiting for her campers to come back from getting dinner so she could make sure they all got food before she did.

“Nice outfit,” you quipped nodding at the stiff blue polo tucked into khaki shorts.

She looked unamused. “We’re literally wearing the same thing.”

“Yeah, but you just wear it so much better.” You popped your collar and winked.

“Don’t do that, you look like a frat dude who’s about to get expelled for hazing.”

“You sure you’re not talking about Tom?” you asked, looking around for the curly-haired boy.

Zendaya snorted. “Well in that case the both of you look like frat boys.”

“I know you’re joking, but I’m still offended.”

“For what it’s worth, you’d make a much hotter frat guy than Tom.”

You didn’t know about that, but you appreciated the sentiment. “How’s your first day so far?” you asked, “everyone getting along?”

“Yeah, things are going okay,” she cocked her head to the side in thought. “I mean as ‘okay’ as they can be with fourth graders.” You chuckled. “Why did I do that to myself? Puberty starts in fourth grade, that’s common knowledge I’m a fucking idiot.”

“I mean we were angels as fourth graders.”

“We were assholes as fourth graders,” Zendaya corrected with a roll of her eyes. “And this is my karma.”

“Oh yeah... stealing Tom and his friends’ mattresses and putting them in the lake in fourth grade must’ve slipped my mind,” you mused.

“Five bucks he’s still bitter about it and brings it up at some point this summer?”

“Oh that’s guaranteed, but fingers crossed I don’t even have to talk to him at all to find out.”

“You’re just gonna, what, avoid him all summer?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Let me know how that goes for you.”

All of the sudden, the walkie-talkie at the waistband of your shorts crackled to life, and you all but shouted in surprise. You’d been carrying the thing around for days, and you had been starting to suspect that it was just for looks and didn’t even do anything, but clearly you were wrong. It was Lorraine telling you that your last camper had just checked in and that you need to meet her and her mother at the office. 

“Can you watch my cabin while I’m gone?”

You turned to go, but Zendaya held out an arm to stop you. “Hey, I wanna hear all about your day later, okay?”

“Wanna sit together at the bonfire tonight?”

“Sure, if my campers don’t kill me first.” 

“Best of luck to you.” You saluted her with your fingers before breaking into a jog and running out of the mess hall. Your camper probably felt bad about being late already, and you didn’t want to make her feel worse by taking forever to pick her up.

When you got to Lorraine’s office the door was already tapped so you went ahead and knocked lightly before pushing it open. She was currently speaking to who you assumed to be your camper and her mom and didn’t notice you come in until you cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Oh, y/n! That was quick, come meet Theo and her mother, Jeanne.”

You smiled and stretched your your hand for Jeanne to shake, then turned to Theo. “Nice to meet you both.”

Theo had her dark hair tied up in a ponytail on top of her head with little strands escaping the hold of the elastic. Big green eyes blinked up at you shyly and you offered a small grin to try and ease her nerves. 

“Sorry we’re so late,” Jeanne apologized. “I thought the drop-off time was at six and then once I realized we were still four hours away and then I blew a tire- we’re a bit of a mess if you can’t tell.”

“Well you’re here now! That’s what matters, and now that Theo’s here our cabin is complete!” 

The little girl smiled and stepped across the invisible line that separated her mother’s guardianship and yours. Wow, apparently that was all it took. You were surprised when she grabbed your hand in hers, but went with it, using your free arm to grab her duffle bag off the ground.

“Does anymore paperwork need to be filled out?” you asked Lorraine, looking back and forth between her and Jeanne. 

“Nope, Theo’s all set if you’re ready to bring her back to the mess hall to join the rest of your girls before they run out of nachos.”

“They might run out of nachos?” Theo screeched in disbelief and you couldn’t stop the laugh that followed. 

“Not if we hurry!” you urged and she was almost dragging you out the door before her mom reminded her to hug her goodbye.

She let go of your hand for just a second to give Jeanne a quick hug before rushing back over to you.

“Bye, mommy! I love you!” Theo shouted over her shoulder and she led the way out of the office and onto the path. 

You tried your best to keep up, but she was deceivingly fast. You weren’t sure how she knew where she was going since this was her first year, but somehow you ended up where you’d started at the mess hall in less time than it had taken you to get there. 

Your kids were all back at the table, talking amongst themselves and picking at their nachos. They perked up when they saw you in the doorway and peered curiously at Theo, who was looking overwhelmed by all of the chaos. While everyone else had slowly acclimated to the atmosphere, Theo had been thrown right in and you were worried that it might be too much for her. 

You made your way over to the table with her on your heel and introduced her to the rest of your girls. 

“Girls, this is Theo. Theo, this is the rest of cabin eleven.”

Instead of cowering behind you like you thought she might, Theo hopped right up to the table and started learning everyone’s names, eager to get to know her new friends. 

“You guys keep talking, I’m going to grab my dinner and I’ll get some for you too, Theo, okay?” She nodded, still absorbed in whatever Eva was saying.

You shook your head and chuckled to yourself as you got in the back of the line. The sun hadn’t even fully set and you were already ready to go to bed. To be fair, you’d been up well before the sun had this morning getting ready for the campers, but as you looked around you noticed that all of the other counselors looked like they’d shotgunned six to seven energy drinks after chugging a few cups of coffee. How the fuck did they look so awake? And what were you doing wrong?

Almost as if life wanted to rub it in your face, the doors to the mess hall flew open and Tom’s entire cabin came running in, yelling at the top of their lungs. He must’ve taught them a cheer or something because they were all in sync, but their words were too jumbled to comprehend. You checked your watch. Late. Typical. And they were all dripping wet, no less. Technically, everyone had to wear a shirt and shoes in the mess hall, and Tom’s boys were adhering to neither rule as they were all in swimsuits, but you knew he’d never get in trouble for it. He never did when he was a camper. 

Tom whooped and shook out his curls like a dog, spraying water everywhere. His boys followed in suit, making even more of a mess. You rolled your eyes when you saw them make for the food line, not interested in engaging.

As luck would have it, Tom was a counselor for second grade boys, so the plan you’d told Z about was probably unrealistic, but you were still going to do your very best to avoid him at all costs. 

“Evening, y/n.”

You tensed and scowled even though he couldn’t see your face. 

“Thomas.”

“People only call me that when I’m in trouble.” He sidestepped so that he was parallel to you and leaned up against the wall. “Am I in trouble?”

You flicked your eyes between him and his campers who were all staring at you and decided it wasn’t worth it. You shrugged casually. “It’s only a matter of time.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You brought your hand to your mouth and faked a cough “fuck off”.

He didn’t answer, but gave you a satisfied look that you ignored. You continued through the line without further incident, stacking as many nachos as humanly possible onto your tray for you and Theo, only vaguely aware of Tom’s presence behind you.

 And you were almost in the clear too, your table was in sight and your campers were waving at you cheerfully when you stepped in something wet and slipped, completely losing your balance and eating shit. Your tray went flying and made such a loud noise that it got everyone’s attention and all conversation in the mess hall stopped.

In all of the confusion you realized what you’d slipped in was just water, but you didn’t connect the puddle to its source until you looked up into his deep brown eyes. 

You wanted to kill him. Your pants were wet, your food was all over your shirt, and your ass hurt. All because he thought it was okay to track all this pool water into the mess hall. In fact, he was still dripping as he stood over you. 

“Tom,” you growled.

For a moment his smirk fell away and an expression of concern flashed across his face. But it was fleeting. The playful gleam you knew too well reignited in his eyes and he licked his lips, holding out his hand to help you up. 

You didn’t take it and pushed yourself up off the ground without help. You started brushing the chips and vegetables off your polo, but you knew the queso stains would have to be revisited later. It had already saturated the cheap whatever-the-fuck material the shirt was made of and there was no way you were getting it out without some sort of chemical.

“Y/n I’m sorry,” Tom tried, but you weren’t having it. You could tell his apology was genuine, but this all felt too familiar and you could feel your chest getting tight.

“Can you just leave me alone?” you pleaded desperately under your breath, knowing your night, week, month- the summer would go a lot smoother if he did.

He winced and pushed his damp curls out of his face. “Um, that’s going to be kind of difficult.”

You glared at him. “Why?”

“You didn’t check the activity assignments? We’re instructing arts and crafts together.”

You wanted to laugh at the irony, but you physically couldn’t. “Every day?”

“Every day.”

You didn’t say another word to him, just picked up the tray off the ground from where it had fallen and walked away slowly back to your table.

Out of all the staff members here you were assigned to instruct an activity with Tom? What were the fucking odds. How could you have been so naive to think that this summer would be different from all the others? Because evidently nothing had changed, even after all these years.

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

Forever Tags:  @mischiefmanaged49  @bookingbee @cloverrover  @captainbuckyy @perhaps-he-schnapped  @awkwardfangirl2014 @the-queen-procrastinator @tastingthestarz @sleepybesson@everythingbooknerd  @sunshine96love @bitchymathematician@livingincompletesilence @melsbooktrash @tommy-holland  @fizzy828 @spider-slutt @theamuz @nedthegay @astroasethic @stuckonspidey @darlingtholland @sgtbookybarnes @tinyplanet-explorers @nnatasha @gennyld @devin-marie @r-wooooosh @definitely-not-black-cat  @hell-yeah-peter-parker @itssnowingandimstuckinside @relise-thefury @osteporosis @legendsofwholock @starsholland @peterunderoos @fuckyeahomerun @nobelwarriorheroes @delicately-important-trash @thwip-it-real-good @claryfray101 @gioandreolli @tomhollandseverything @cool-ultra-nerd @jillianaholland @dinasaur36 @farfromhaz @hanlons-wp @moon-390 @parkerstylesperalta @httpchrisevans @screeching-student-unknown 

Breaking Curfew Tags: @lafemmefatal @sebastianstansbae @parkerstylesperalta @t0mh0llandimagines @draqcnheartstrinq @ragnarqks @di3connected @its-the-unknownspidey @fandomhoe @fallingspidey @obsequentdiapason @goldenpeaxh @timelock97 @theefactorygirl @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @rhapsodyparker @sunshiney-souls @bluevelvetcosmos @sebxstianbarnes @screeching-student-unknown @peterbrokenparker @emilymarie0422 @fangirlingisajob @tomzfrog @castieltheredfox @still-awake-daydreaming @morbiddanvers @jurassicparker @originalpinkpowerranger @curlyshawnie @myfinalwords @ilytomholland @tomhollandseverything @nnatasha @imfreefallinall @maddub23 @eastofeeden @hollandary @spideyyeet @seaveyheartful @jackandsally9605 @itsthwippingtime @occhiolism-sonder @sunshine96love @maybemona @tomhollandsbitch @thedaydreamingwriter @wannabewolf @jessasarah @maryjane-michelle @spidxrparkxr @alinakaisato @iriaaarb @natasha-black-widow-romanoff @dobriksbitch 

Send me an ask to be added/removed from a taglist

[soranihimawari]

West Coast kind of Love

 Summary: There were certain things you know off the top of your head. One, the fact that popcorn and M&Ms should not be sold separately at the local movies is a crime; two, every other Monday of the month, the neighborhood film club would host dollar monster movies (where one of your neighbors in your apartment complex would frequently attend); and three, you might have to pinch yourself when he asks you to take a photo with you as a proof of “how things are going abroad” to his friend in Argentina...

Word count: 4.685K

Taglist: @m0nstergeneration20xx 📷 (google docs proof reader), @oitoorus​, @tkags & her ⛅ (anon fam) , @oikawalovely [open still]

“Do what you love and the rest will follow”-proverb

--September XX--Thursday, 23:13 (11:23pm)

“Oh come on Yukihira,” you knocked on the closed bathroom door of your apartment.”You know I called dibs to the bathroom after we ditched those jerks at the dancehall.”

Every month you and your roommate took turns in choosing public places to go out for a night on the town. With midterms coming up for what would be the junior year of your undergrad studies, your roommate decided giving a double date a try. Unfortunately for her, those jerks were thinking of doing the deed way too early for either of your liking. You decide that spilling your peach Bellini on your friend’s outfit during the middle of the date was the perfect excuse to end the night early. More often than not, you mostly came along these dates with her as an enforcer. You two might be as different as night and day (yukihira studies medicine all hours of the day whereas your focus was the visual arts). Tonight was just one of those nights where you being there was beneficial.

“Ugh, fine,” she said opening the door revealing her freshly brushed grin. “I can’t believe you had the gall to ruin that outfit y/n.”

“Hey, whatever helps you throw it out like you did your ex then I was doing the Lord’s work for you, Yuks.” You rolled your eyes at her when she stuck out her tongue when you slithered into the ivory tiled washroom. This earned a laugh from the other member of your household.

“But because this was a bad date and I didn’t think things through this time again, that means I get to set you up on a blind date.” Her singsong voice reached your ears as you turned on the faucet to drown out her mocking tone. You paused for a brief moment while waiting for the make up remover serium to bubble up on your face before wiping it off effectively.

“With who?” you asked after you patted your skin dry post-makeup removal ritual complete. Your hair was undone from the hair elastic you pulled out of your inherited islander curls.

“I don’t know. Hmm...Maybe the guy in unit 23C? He’s awfully cute,” Yukihira mused as you leaned in her doorway. Her brows wiggled in delight when she noticed how you stared at your neighbor on move in day during your freshman move in day three years prior.

“Iwazumi? You can’t be serious,” you said. Your voice betrayed you because your eyes shined like the gods of furtune finally found their way to you.

“Do you want to or not? He’s focused, witty, determined; I have my physiology study group with him tomorrow. Why don’t you come with, best friend of mine?”

You really hated when she pulled the puppy eyes on you, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to refuse (not by a long shot).

“Ask him if he prefers coffee or tea.”

A few days later, you came home from your department’s masters class with your portfolio sling over your shoulder. Your hands were covered in literal ink stains from your latest mural macro-micro project.

“Hey, Yukihira! Have you seen where I kept my lacquer thinner?” You raise your voice slightly as you kick off your shoes by the entrance hallway. It was only then you realize there were a couple of other pairs of shoes that did not belong to either of you. That’s when you remembered your friend’s warning about her study group coming over. All color drained from your face when you rounded the corner to your living room area converted into a mini lecture hall. You clear your throat to announce your presence which went unnoticed (with the exception of your roommate). Without even looking at the board, you chose to mess with the med students’ practice case.

“And I’m telling you this is a bilateral cut to the optic nerve, Josefina.”

“The microabraisons on the left thoracic cavity allowed the victim to bleed out on the table due to the elevated use of blood thinners, ” your voice quiets the pre-med students and you smile in a nonchalant manner. You have read this problem with Yukihira so many times prior at the start of the semester that you were able to recall the prognosis off the top of you head. Being friends with a pre-med major does have its redeeming qualities although you were seen mostly honing your crafts in the art department and this was just the prime time of their study week. 

“Oh! You’re back early,” Yukihira says in a warm tone. She stands at the end of the table in between you Her eyes glazed over as if to communicate that you were about to be formally introduced. You bite your tongue prior to allowing your roommate to clap her hands together as she went naming every member starting with the person on her left who was the aforementioned Josefina. When she had come full circle, her voice trailed off with a small apologetic smile.

“Aaaand this here is my roommate, y/n. To answer your question about the lacquer thinner, I put the bottle on your desk when it arrived last time,” Yukihira made sure to watch everyone’s response. She was more interested in seeing how the third member of her study group (the aforementioned neighbor in 23C) would react. His minuscule smirk was doubly noted, prompting you to fill the few seconds of silence with your own voice. After a brief trip down memory lane, spear headed by your best friend as they took a break from studying for a moment, Yukihira explained after years of being friends you learned about the medical cases for exams via osmosis. You were an unofficial member of the study group since the medical arts building was located near the visual arts department offices on campus. You chose to not let them be pushed back any further especially since their content exam was coming up later that month, so you bid them good luck.

“Don’t mind me,” your brass tone conveyed an even temper at the time. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to head to my room. You guys aren’t the only ones with an exam this week.” You raised your portfolio canister so they could see the poster sized dyed cylinder. Reams of paper filled with sketches made from ink and graphite poked through under the flourescent lights of the kitchen dining room table. The med students along with Yukihira waved and said it was lovely to meet your acquaintance.

With that you made a beeline route to your room, opened the door, and promptly shut the door. You dropped your portfolio canister next to your desk, turned up the volume of the lo-fi radio station playlist on your sound system, grabbed the nearest pillow and let out a muffled shriek to expel the remaining bits of embarrassment your friend threw you in. You were good at smaller group studies, but to be fair, given the fact that your friend was a social butterfly, you mostly seemed to rub off the “talented-artsy, yet focused,” type of woman. That night you cleaned up your outline for your stencil art piece of a fox and a hound for your take on minimalism class which had its peer critique at the end of the week.

You didn’t physically speak to Yukihira for the rest of the week. With both of you burning the midnight oil within the last few days before the exam, you noticed that the number of study group being held in your apartment had become the norm every other day (causing you focus more on a certain individual). Funny thing was he was also doing the same thing...

『from Yukihira: how many times do i have to apologize? You know I didn’t plan on having an emergency study session with iwazumi. He just showed up & wanted to chat. Besides the TA & professor chose to move up the exam date...』

『from y/n: you should of told me earlier before I came home. You know I forgive you... only if you buy me the latest ice cream along with the new Jun Ito novel. I’ll be out there in a minute till make some coffee for us.』

『from Yukihira: Mmkay & thanks. Coffee sounds good right about now anyways.』

--October XX-- Friday, 15:55 (3:55p.m.)

The weekend came through soon enough and on a Friday afternoon with no where to go, you were chilling at the comfort of your own living room. You were quick to thank the test gods for the exam being moved up once you had a proper conversation with Yukihira that morning. She mentioned she was going be out all day making sure she was able to finesse her study guide with her fellow medical study group. Since it was the end of the week, Josefina opted to have a free for all study day at the book store for those who wanted to go over last minute things according to the note yukihira left on your door that morning.

At the time of the day, you were expecting to be alone, curled up with your favorite cup of English Earl Grey Tea and a Lovecraft radio program you downloaded via the student Spotify network. Your phone vibrated and pinged with a notification from the bookstore where Yukihira placed the order for your horror novel to arrive sooner than the estimated timeframe. Because life finds it funny to pull another prank on your clown assery with your little cynical attitude, you were startled when the formal knocker was used.

“Shit!” you said when you clutched your heart as you placed your cup of tea down on the coffee table. As your put two fingers on your neck’s pulse point, you waited a few minutes for your heart rate to calm back down; you stood up and began to make your way down the hallway. Lo and behold, you were greeted by a casually dressed man who was clutching your new novel in his sunkissed hands. 

It takes your brain a few synapses to register that it was Iwazumi who has been taking a liking to coming over for extra study hours with your roommate, but if anyone asked him to reply honestly, he wanted to know more about you. The human body has more than 240 bones, yet the more frequent his visits become, the more he felt himself become accustomed to befriending you both. There were instances where you joined them at the kitchen table glancing at their open notebooks and case studies; you often made tea or coffee depending on the hour of the day. On the days you had come home from the art department, Yukihira was quick to notice how Iwazumi’s usually tense face seemed to visibly relax when you came to prepare your favorite snack (m&ms and buttered popcorn). Your friend was quick to relay a text to his phone, which caused her study partner at the table to become more flustered than he already was. 

Regardless of the various near misses over the next couple of weeks between you and Iwazumi (sometimes it was Yukihira’s fault other times, it was coincidental juxtopostional humour: it has happened twice on Iwazumi’s side when his friends back home noticed he was not at his usual place. [Yukihira called for a mini-study break] However, that didn’t stop you from asking him if he preferred sugar or honey for his tea & all hell broke loose (Hanamaki & Mattsun were cheering him on while Oikawa.exe has dropped the call).

All this back and forth for the past five weeks caused this moment to occur:

“I-Iwa-chan?” your voice went up several octaves before clearing your throat with a cough. “If you’re looking for Yukihira, she’s actually not here at the moment...” 

“To the scientist there is the joy in pursuing truth which nearly counteracts the depressing revelations of truth.”

The audio from your radio program was keeping you company. The disembodied voice coming from the main sound system you helped set up when you first moved into the building with Yukihira quoted Lovecraft as the program continued to serve in the role of filling the silence between you and Iwazumi. The gods really did that, didn’t they? your thoughts were running away with you again, chasing a reality that would be yours--or so you think. 

During that thought hurricane you conjured up, you decided to pause the train of thought for a few minutes. You released your hold on your front door knob as you pulled the door a little wider in order for you to lean against the frame of the front door. Your hair was pulled up in a messy bun (on your days off, you were typically clad in tapered mint green pants and a spare white button down blouse due to laundry day), but it was enough to see the usual semi-talkative and stoic demi-god of a neighbor wear such an embarrassed expression. You pretended to not hear the barely audible, “woah,” that escaped his mouth prior to him holding up the book to you. 

“Did the mail carrier drop it off to your box again?” you ask taking the book in your hands. “Sorry about that. You can come in if you want.” 

You were quick to notice that something caught your arm in an attempt to stop you from walking. When you chose to not try to pry yourself away from Iwazumi’s hold, he took it as a sign to bend himself to your ear and say the following in a powerfully low tone: “Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t looking for her?” 

“Yes,” you say in a timid manner, yet it was paired with a curt nod. You both had the tenacity to swat away any lingering negative thoughts.

Iwazumi took this moment to turn you around to face him by the arm he held you with. His smile disappeared when he let your arm go and instead moved his hand to hold yours with his opposite hand, he pulled the door shut behind him. You were probably too proud to admit this aloud, nonetheless, you liked the way Iwazumi’s firm grip felt in your hand; his were rough and calloused as much as yours were from years of honing your independent crafts. You gave him a kind smile before your neighbor decided to take advantage of the fact that the other person in your apartment wasn’t home; you squeezed his hand slightly and he let your hand go. 

You placed the Jun Ito novel on the kitchen counter motioning for Iwazumi to meet you there. Your kettle was still warm, however you made a cheeky joke to your newly acquired friend. (Perhaps this was Yukihira’s plan, you think). You reached into the dishwasher and was about to pour him a cup of tea, yet you couldn’t help but make a small joke at his expense for holding your hand so intently. 

“For the record, if you wanted to hold my hand, you could have done so earlier,” you mention stifling a laugh, pouring the steaming water into the mug. Iwazumi mumbled something about how he liked the way your hand fit, yet you chose to throw caution to the wind and quickly planted short kiss on his cheek when you extended the cup toward him after placing the tea strainer in it. 

With one hand on yours and the other was wrapped around the ceramic mug,. Your kindness was always something Iwazumi found alluring. You might not have been in the same course of study as him or Yukinira, yet you were good finding the beauty in the mundane. A few of your pieces of work were hung around the apartment and from his line of sight, your dedication to your craft was something to be admired.With every sip he took a sip to deflect from the way his thoughts were heading into uncharted territories; OIkawa, Mattsun, and even Makki were the ones more verbose on love & conquest during the days of their you:

“You’re always over at your neighbors’ place, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa teased. 

“I wonder what his reason is,” Makki muses. “Mattsun thinks it’s a girl. Typical.”

Makki also noticed one of your sophomore symposium art pieces hanging behind the place where Iwazumi was sitting at the time of their weekly video call. Your avant-garde view of  viewing the world was enough to set the sky amethyst hues. California does have it’s moments of striking beauty and somehow Iwazumi found it hard to keep to a straight face around his friends. His expression was usually hardened or bold, but today you sat across from him at the beginning of the call, reading up on the use of gold leaf detail work for your art restoration classes. Across the myriad of scattered medical books and various notes that were pertaining to another medical case were a tell that their friend was clearly not alone. You glance up at him quietly, a minute smile formed between you two; you write on a spare piece of paper the word, “friends” to which he nodded. 

“Aww, is our little ace growing soft on us?” Oikawa’s whining was something you often heard Yukihira describe after nights like these.(She usually hung out in your room as you were placing the final touches of your latest art assignment. This month was dedicated to historic downtown with a twist of horror: modern mania & the ruiner of man. Right now, you didn’t mind the shared space of the dining room while Yukihira was out on a grocery run at the time the call was initiated.)

“Shut your mouth Shittykawa,” Iwazumi barks. His dark eyes hardened like stone and that was when Makki let out a wicked grin. 

“I owe Mattsun 500 yen,” Makki chuckled. 

“Holy shit,” Oikawa’s eyes bounced between his best friends and let out a low whistle. “if this woman is capable of such an amazing feat, ask her if she has a friend [for me].”

Iwazumi ended the call right then and there. He didn’t expect his heart to be beating so irratically when you walked room in your house attire for a moment to make yourself a cup of the same Earl Grey Tea. The hazy lights emitting from your room blended effortlessly with the flourescent ones in the kitchen; each beam clung to your body in such away Iwazumi was glad neither of his friends witnessed the moment he fell in love with California and all that came with it. 

This afternoon was a different story as you liked the way Iwazumi allowed his natural blush to bubble to the surface of his cheeks and you could swear you saw a fraction of the high school volleyball ace shine through. The sunlight danced around the stainless steel details of the kitchen where you shared secrets, recipes, and drinks with your best friend. His free hand chose to move away from the counter finding its resting place under your chin. The cup of tea Iwazumi held earlier was placed next to the stove on the coaster by the sink. 

You steady your breathing right before you felt Iwazumi’s breath on your cupid’s bow; his lips pressed against yours gingerly as though he felt his brain light up and catch a fire he needed to not run away from; everything he wanted to know about you was answered as soon as your hands cup his face. I think I like this, your conscience is egging you on to pursue his touch for a while longer. It was a silent acknowledgement of the other’s presence in the present moment. 

“Hm,” you hear him hum in mutual amusement when you return his kiss. The pads of his fingers trace the highest points of your face teasingly. He wanted answers to the questions your lips asked. When you two separate for a moment, you realize you might have been too forward, but when you move your hands away from his face only to hug him in a loose embrace, you couldn’t help the next words from posing a question.

“Do you want to kiss me again?” your coquettish tone made Iwazumi’s answer very apparent as you suddenly took into account the last couple of weeks and the way both of you came to enjoy each other’s company during study group hours at either your place as the primary location or the cafe down the road from the apartment complex. (Iwazumi’s frequent visits weren’t for tutoring necessarily, about a majority of the time it was to see you as an added bonus). 

Iwazumi did not have to be told twice; he enveloped you in his strong arms, he hoisted you up from under your knees and placed you a top the counter with gentle assertive force. Your legs wrapped around his fit waist as you gripped his biceps for leverage prior to letting the old ace prove his strength by placing you on top of the graphite counter like a doll. 

“Comfortable?” Iwazumi’s expression was more seductive than profound.

“Very,” you reply as you unwind your legs from his body. “Where were we?”

Your hands wrapped around his neck before pulling him close to you again. A smug smile cut across both of your faces for a brief moment until your lips hovered over his for the second time. This time, you let him kiss you the way you knew he had been meaning to since he showed up at your door less than fifteen minutes prior book in hand. When Iwazumi kissed you at the current moment, the world crumbled and fell away; it was somehow comforting in a way that words would not compare to. His actions listened to the way you were setting the pace with the same tenacity as he showed you. The scent of his sandalwood conditioner mixed well with your ocean scented dry shampoo. 

Your eyes were still closed when you felt your hands card through his ever-present spiky hair. His right hand rested below your ear, using the pad of his thumb and forefinger to caress your cheek and jawline again. You feel him smile against your own lips when you nipped the corner of his mouth playfully. You break apart long enough for your partner in the kitchen to began to sneakily undoing your top two buttons of your blouse to press his lips against your exposed skin. You let out a whimper in the heat of the moment the second his lips began to leave a trail of reverberating echoes in the simplest of ways securing his hold on your soul that very day.

“Beautiful girl,” Iwazumi murmurs as his eyes met yours when he was done having his fun. His voice was cautious, but when his arms began to hover over your own, you felt your heart rate speed up right as he told you this: “Tell me, what other sounds can you make for me?” 

“Is that a challenge?” you retort, your hands disappearing under his hoodie to feel the fabric of his undershirt. Your hand stopped roaming atop of his chest; he was liking this. You could tell by the way he was taunting you with his smirk. “Because I was wondering the same thing. Do you want me to remove my hand?”

“No.”

Your hands could have been made of branding tools and Iwazumi wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. He chuckled at your question before you brought him down to your level and your lips met again. The sound he made upon impact was as though you broke him yet healed him at the same time; time was on your side for this one and you proved he wasn’t the only monster in the kitchen. There was a hunger there behind every kiss you let him have; you were smiling in the between long enough to feel his heart beat faster through the fabric of his undershirt.

Your hands automatically removed themselves from his shirt and were found holding on to the aglet of the drawstrings from the hoodie he was wearing. Iwazumi kissed your fingers before proceeding with posing a question to you.

“Just so we’re clear,” your voice was bold and daring. It was one of the many things he liked about you both in and out of campus grounds. The small details was what Iwazumi liked the most and the subtle tells of how you, Yukihira, and even the other members of the study group didn’t make him feel so alone like when he first arrived to California to study.

“Whatever this is between you and I, does it mean we’re...together?” 

You make a sign in the air with your palms up and point between you and him. Iwazumi clears his throat as he taps his lips to tease you and that was when he saw it: a younger version of you covered in sidewalk chalk in your neighborhood (much the same as you saw reflections of the former ace/vice captain).

“If you’ll let me take you to the Monster Movie marathon on Monday,” he answered when he linked his right hand digits with your left and you capture his lips again on your own volition. Your ears perked up at this, you drop the string you played with and patted his chest with a light rapt. 

“Eager to make me your girlfriend aren’t you?” You laugh and Iwazumi furrowed his brows, but you silence his worries in one swift and simple move: you kiss him with the intent of either being his salvation or his torment, either way Iwazumi was not complaining. The girl who loves to read about Lovecraftian monsters and the boy who was a monster chaser shared a love as unique as themselves: like a secret they each wanted to keep  behind closed doors.

His only vice was the fact that his social call was coming to an end and every ounce of his well being was fighting to stay here with you. You back down for a moment only to showcase your best attempt at a flattering smile to match his own. Iwazumi would never let you know this at the time, but seeing that smile on your face made his list of top three things he found most precious in the world. This wasn’t a crush anymore was the proper conclusion you both concluded. 

“Meet at your place at 7:30,” you suggest. Iwazumi released your hand from his to step back as you hopped down from the kitchen counter you made a seat of. 

“I’ll see you then ‘Ms. Lovecraft’.” The nickname he bestowed upon you was one that made the butterflies come back in a flurry; this was the start of something special, but you didn’t know it at this point in time that the name will be used to describe your affinity for Iwazumi’s unyielding devotion to you (the seeds were planted in both of your hearts and the two of you waited for them to bloom).

Iwazumi made his way back toward the hallway and faced your apartment’s front door again. You refastened both buttons he undid prior to reaching for the door knob. 

“For what it’s worth,” your not-so-innocent tone in your voice begins to come through. His darkened eyes observe you undo your top knot and shook your shoulder-length hair to reveal the fullness of your wavy locks. You place your hand on his wrist and the other was on the door knob. He stopped you from opening the door with a softened glance; pressing his lips lightly on your brow bone. 

“I really like it when you come over Iwazumi. Thank you for dropping off the book.” You tap your fingers thoughtfully on your lips as a silent form of thanking him for the other part outside of the tangible order.

“Hajime, y/n,” he whispers his given name in your ear in order to get one last rile out of you before kissing your temple, and you could swear you could hear your heart beat in your ears. “Call me that from now on, ok?”

“Ok,” you swiftly reply. “Only if you continue to call me Lovecraft, haha.”

Iwazumi takes his leave when he thinksof how the next time he sees you, it’ll be filled with magic, mayhem, and the movie playing in his heart was one he would like to share with you for as long as it takes.

You rush to your room to retrieve your cell phone and immediately text Yukihira who was in the middle of her break between classes:

『from y/n: i have a date on monday night. the book came btw. thanks yukihira』

『from Yukihira: iwazumi asked you to go out with him, didn’t he? have fun and remember to not do anything i wouldn’t do. ;) 』

『from y/n: of course. and even if we did, i wouldn’t even hear the end of it from you. you’d might have an easier time talking to iwazumi than me, let’s be honest.』

『from Yukihira: (n˘v˘•)¬ oh you know me so well. see you later tonight.』

—November XX, 14:43 (2:43pm): 

First dates & a glimpse into their social medias (ft. Iwazumi, Babs (y/n), & Yukihira)

Iwazumi credit

Suffice to say that Mondays became your favorite day after this kiss...😌

Bonus:

Instagram posts from our UCIrvine trio ft. Iwazumi, Yukihira, & Y/N-san

[blu-joons]

Writing Your Christmas Cards Together ~ Jeon Jungkook

The two of you sat down at the coffee table, several packets of cards were before you, with two separate lists, one of the people Jungkook wanted to send Christmas cards to, and one with those you wanted to send Christmas cards to.

It was a chore that took place every year, something the two of you put off until the last possible moment, when you began to worry if they’d arrive before the big day.

“What do you say? Just go from top to bottom?” You suggested, glancing down both lists.

Jungkook sighed, stretching across the table, shrugging his shoulders. “I think the good cards need to go to the people that we like the most, and then the rubbish ones that we bought last minute go to those that we feel we have to send cards to.”

“Kook! It’s Christmas, you should want to send cards to everyone.”

His head shook making you chuckled, picking up the first pile of cards, expensive ones he’d bought whilst on tour, having the boys in mind when he bought them. Then came the cards for his parents and family, with intricate designs and fancy patterns, he knew he’d love them.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he continued to complain, taking the lid off his pen. He checked it on his list, making sure there was enough ink in it, opening the first card. “Shall I write it, then you sign your name at the end?”

“That’s going to take forever Kook.”

You were right, but at the moment there didn’t seem like there was any other way to go around it. You didn’t want to write your cards without making it clear they were from each other, but it would take far too much time if you both signed each card.

“How about, you write all your cards, and I’ll right all of mine. Then we swap piles, and just sign our names on the cards. Together we can write and stamp together, make sure we get the write addresses for everyone.”

He hummed, thinking about it for a few moments. It might not have been the quickest option, but it certainly seemed like the most logical. He began to write his first card, addressing it to Namjoon, writing a little message, signing it off with your name.

You then wrote your first card, for your parents, drawing a little picture for them like you did every year, signing off your name, leaving a space for Jungkook to write his.

“Shall we put some music on? It might help pass the time,” he suggested, already on his way over to your speakers, placing a Christmas playlist on shuffle for you both to enjoy.

Whilst up, he headed into the kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine, one for each of you, to try and help keep you positive and happy. It was one of the worst things about Christmas, but if you didn’t send cards, you knew both your families would be on your case.

“Hopefully this will help time pass quicker,” he giggled.

“You’re a genius,” you chuckled, taking one of the glasses from him, taking a huge gulp, smiling at the delicious taste trickling down your throat.

It took quite a while for the two of you to write all your cards, taking several stops to groan and complain as the pile seemed to be never ending, the list never coming to an end. Neither of you enjoyed it, but at least the background music made it all slightly bearable for you both.

“Damn!” He shouted, slamming his fist on the table, looking across after he made you jump. On one of the cards his hand had slipped, having written out a message for his aunt, the final signature ended up covering the whole page, ruining the whole thing.

“Just try to forget about it and start again, don’t stop now,” you encouraged, quickly passing him a new card before he broke his momentum.

The two of you eventually finished your cards at the same time, swapping piles so you could complete the much easier job of signing solely your name on each individual card,

“If you mess any of these up, I’m going to be so disappointed,” you told him, passing all your cards in front of him.

“I promise, no mistakes.”

Whilst signing off his cards, you decided to read through a few of his messages, smiling sweetly at all the kind things he’d said. The holidays were always a time to be thankful for the things you had around you, which Jungkook certainly was.

His most heartfelt message went to his parents, who he regretfully hadn’t spent too much time with over the past few months. He reminded them how much he missed them, and how he couldn’t wait to go home over the next few days and see them.

The second half of the card writing was certainly much easier than the first half for you both, it took only a few minutes before every card was written and signed by you both.

“I think we’ve earned a reward for all of this, another glass of wine calls,” Jungkook chuckled, taking both glasses into the kitchen, filling them both up their limit. “I don’t know about you jagi, but my hand hurts.”

“I hate to break it to you sweet, but there’s still hundreds of envelopes to write.”

He groaned loudly, kicking his feet against the floor, placing both glasses on the table. The two of you were exhausted, you hadn’t realised just how much time it had actually taken until you both checked your phones, noticing the time.

“Alright, here’s the plan. If your hand aches, I’ll write all the envelopes, if you seal them all and place stamps on them, how does that sound?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan to me.”

You began with the first card, one for Hobi. You glanced across into your address book, checking over his address, just to be sure, writing it neatly so it could be written. Then you slid the card over to Jungkook, who sealed it securely in an envelope, placing a stamp in the top right corner.

The system worked well, and the two of you quickly picked up the pace, finishing the cards in quick time. Once they were done, you leaned back in your chair, letting go of a huge yawn out of both tiredness and boredom.

“Thank goodness that is over for another year,” you cried out, throwing your arms up in the air in victory.

Jungkook finished his glass of wine, resting his head on his shoulder. “Shall we go and post them now? They’ll be picked up in the morning for delivery.”

You shook your head, brushing your hands through his hair. “No way, if I stand up right now, there’s only one place I’m going, and that’s to bed. There’s no way I’m going outside at this time of night.”

“Agreed, shall we make our way up?”

“Absolutely.”

---

Masterlist

[cesabutterflywrites]

The Biggest and Most Common Lie

Part [2] in An Angel’s Smile Series

“We are all conditioned, no matter how untrue, to tell one another ‘I’m fine’ until the day we die.”

Summary: Janus Ethan Dannecker starts college with only a box, backpack, $300, and a ton of emotional baggage that is overwhelming. The broken home he came from cast a shadow on him that he refused to let anyone see. The scars on his body were no match for the scars on his soul. He made it his mission to never let anyone see where he came from. See what he was really made of. See how messed up he would always be.

That is, until Patton Mavers smiled at him.  Ao3 [First Part] [Previous Part][Next Part] [Spotify Playlist]

Word Count: 1744

Story Warnings: past abusive childhood, angst, untreated/undiagnosed mental illness symptoms, detailed descriptions of abuse, cursing, implied/referenced substance abuse. Rated M for Mature audiences. Let me know if I need to add more, and read with caution!

The Biggest and Most Common Lie

The evening had been going well. He had expected it to be awkward as the outsider to an obviously close friend group. Though somehow they helped him feel included. He allowed himself to relax the tiniest bit. Just enough to make the night go smoothly.

 Roman had been very curious about him, which made Janus’ skin crawl. He wasn’t sure if he liked Roman, but wanted to give the boy the benefit of the doubt. Normal people were curious, right?

 “So, Janus,” Roman started after he took a bite of his pasta. “Why the odd name? Were your parents mythology nerds, or something?” 

 Virgil smacked the back of his boyfriend’s head. Roman coughed, then glared at the assailant. “What? I just want to get to know him.” 

 Patton had been sitting next to Janus, so he gently patted the top of Janus’ hand. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he murmured. 

The contact was nice. He didn't flinch away. It helped that Patton was making his movements slower and easy to see. Janus wondered if it was because he flinched in the dorm room earlier. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or concerned if that was the case. 

 Janus cleared his throat. He didn’t want to be rude to the people who were so kind enough to let him tag along for a good meal. “No worries,” he told the fake story with ease from years of practice. “My dad was always obsessed with Mediterranean history, specifically Roman mythology. My mom was the same, except she loved the Greek sides. When I was born, they both wrote out their choice of name and flipped a coin. My dad won.” 

 “What name did your mom choose?” Virgil asked. They all had been paying attention to him with what seemed like genuine interest. 

 He wracked his brain for the other name. It had been a while since he had to tell this story, especially with people so curious. “Morpheus.” He decided that would be the other option. 

 “Wow. My parents just named me Roman because we’re all mostly ‘R’ names,” Roman chuckled. He went back to eating his food. 

 “Well, I like the name Janus,” Patton told him with a grin. “I don’t know you very well yet, but it suits you.” 

 Janus should not have held onto the word ‘yet’ from that sentence, but that word had him soaring through the rest of the night. He felt his shoulders relax after hearing that the angel was willing to keep him around. 

 “I was named after the Roman poet, Virgil.” the shaggy haired boy piped in. “My mother is an English teacher at our old high school.” 

 “Oh, I will be forever pissed that she had the audacity to give me a C on the final,” Roman exclaimed a bit loudly. He brought the back of his hand to his forehead for effect.

“Well, yeah, Ro. You didn’t study.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Just because she loves you doesn’t mean that you were going to get an A without effort.” 

 “Janus, where did you go to high school?” Patton turned to face him. He was making a point to include Janus, even though the lovebirds were bickering about the grade. 

 “Oh,” Janus had this lie prepared, “I went to a private school in California.” 

 “Wow, you’re a long way from home then,” Patton observed sympathetically. “Well, then we’ll make sure you get settled here so you’re not alone.” 

 Janus felt guilty for lying about his previous school, though it was true he used to live in California. Seeing someone be so genuine in their fondness towards him made him feel uncomfortable, yes, but he couldn’t help the feeling that this was a place for him to fit. At least, the identity he had carefully constructed so no one would see how ugly he truly was. His outside self fit with them well. Meaning he had to be even more careful with his words.

 The night continued well. Patton had caught on that their questions were making Janus uncomfortable, so he effortlessly changed topics but still kept it casual. He and Janus met each other’s eyes a few times during their meal. Each time Janus felt his heart flutter while rushing blood to his cheeks. They brushed shoulders a few times; which caused real, though small, genuine smiles.

 After they finished their meal, Roman and Virgil decided to go on a walk together despite it being dark out. This left Patton and Janus alone together on their walk back to the dorms. It was chilly out, and the town looked beautiful in the night. That may have been the influence from his companion though. 

 Patton was definitely a bright individual. He was so personable. Janus couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He looked stunning in his outfit-a grey cardigan, light blue polo shirt, and tight fitting khakis. He hadn’t stopped smiling, and Janus wanted nothing more than to keep that smile there. 

 That radiance made a light on his soul that for the moment made him feel close to normal. 

 Janus and Patton walked together slowly. Neither of them were in a rush to get home. Janus suspected that Patton, too, didn’t want the evening to end. They walked together in silence. The only noise between them was a comfortable quiet as the warm night blanketed them. 

 Patton did interrupt the quiet, however, when they were within eyesight of their building. He stopped underneath a streetlamp. There was a bench nearby that he made his way to sit on. He looked up at Janus and wordlessly patted the space next to him. 

 Janus sat down, curious as to why they had stopped. He could see that Patton had something on his mind, though, so he waited patiently for the words to come out. 

 “Janus,” the angel started with a gentle tone, “I don’t want to imply anything’s wrong.” Patton looked at his hands as he spoke. 

 Janus felt his defenses go up. He was ready for the rejection. He had been too awkward at the dinner. Patton was just being kind enough to tell him that this was a one time thing. He was going to let him down easy. 

 He let the boy continue, though, knowing full well that interrupting was not a good idea. 

 “I just want you to feel like you have family, here, especially since you showed up alone.” Patton sighed. He brought his hands to his face to rub underneath his glasses. His blue streak looked darker in the yellow light of the streetlamp. “I didn’t want to say anything at dinner, but…” 

 Here it comes

 Patton looked at him with a watery smile. There were tears in his green eyes that nearly broke Janus’ heart. Please don’t cry, angel.

 “You don’t have to pretend around us. There’s no need to lie.” 

 The screaming in his mind picked up again. It had gone quiet as the evening went on, but being caught in the facade gave it more volume. His breath started to quicken. The mask started to crack enough to let water fill his eyes. He looked away to wipe them. The nerves of the day hit him all at once. 

 He jumped when he felt Patton rest his hand on his shoulder. Patton pulled away just as quickly. “Sorry, force of habit,” he apologized. “Could you look at me, Jan?” 

 He wanted to run away. To escape the terror of the moment he was stuck in. He shouldn’t have let his guard down. He was going to be rejected for deceiving them. Tricking the group of close friends that he was deserving of their companionship. 

 He looked at Patton. The screaming quieted as soon as he looked into the angel’s deep green eyes. There was nothing but full trust in those eyes. Patton’s soul was an open meadow for him to take refuge in. He could hear the whisper of a promise of loyalty when they gazed at each other. 

 “You can trust me, hon,” Patton whispered. “I know you don’t know me well, but once I care about someone I stay dedicated to that care.” 

 Janus smiled. It was genuine. He was grinning at this stranger offering up his love so easily. It was ridiculous. He laughed bitterly. “I believe you, but you also don’t know me very well. If you did you’d choke on those words.” 

 He stood up swiftly. The screaming voice in his mind begging him to run. To save himself from heartbreak. “Thank you for inviting me out to dinner, it was fun.” He brushed off his jeans to avoid looking at Patton. He ignored the fact that his voice cracked on the last word. 

 “Janus, wait I-”Patton started to beg. Janus could hear the threat of tears in his voice.

 “Don’t worry about it, Patton,” Janus looked over his shoulder with a caked on smile. “I’m fine.” 

 Without giving the other a chance to respond, he walked away hurriedly. He was both pleased and offended that Patton didn’t chase after him. He got to his room quickly. He sighed in relief that Virgil was still out on his walk with Roman. It gave him a few minutes to release the tears he wanted to release since he first arrived on campus. 

 He wasn't fine. He was on his own in a place where no one knew him. He gripped the sheet in his hands as he remembered how hard it was to lie about how he felt. 

 Who was this angel? What power did he have over Janus that compelled him to be honest? Why was it so easy to forget that he needed to lie about being fine? Why was it, at the point in the evening when their hands touched, did he feel like a normal person? 

 Who was this angel who seemed to see through his disguise? 

 Patton and his friends included him, and he ruined it because he had alluded to how damaged he was already. No facade could withstand the observant green eyes.  

 Virgil returned after a time that was way too long to have just been a walk. He probably was engaged in amorous activities with Roman like normal couples did.

 "Hey, you okay? Sorry if I woke you up," his roommate whispered. 

 Janus smiled even though it was dark for Virgil to see. "No worries," he whispered back, "I'm fine."

-

-

-

-

TAGLIST: @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth , @deceits-left-glove ​ , @louistownsmyass

Let me know if you wanna be on the taglist for this story or any of my other ships! 

[shotsbyshae]

Rock & Roll (Part 3)

Warnings: Vomit inducing fluff, angst

Words: 1.6k

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

A/N: Takes place post Endgame, so spoilers. For those who have age issues, Peter is over 18 in this scenario.

Song: Rock & Roll by Led Zeppelin

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled.

2025

The warmth from the coffee mug in your hand is a soothing comfort as you make your way down to the lab, the music coming from there drawing your attention. You smile as you see Peter working away in the same place you left him last night, his Zeppelin playlist still going strong. You had simply asked him about a suit, after all, yours had seen some wear and tear over the last two years. That hadn’t meant staying up all night working on it. Stopping in the doorway, the nostalgia takes over as you stare at the man before you.

2017

You walked into the lab and spotted the boy with his arms folded under his head on the table, a science book and notes open and scattered around him. You gently nudged his shoulder and he jolted awake, hair mussed, and eyes squinted as he focused on you.

“Hi,” you said quietly as you offered him your coffee.

“Sorry,” he looked embarrassed as he took the mug from you, sipping the caffeine. “I have a mid-term on Monday.”

“I don’t miss those days,” you remarked as you glanced through his notes. “Want me to help you study?”

“Oh – you don’t have to,” he shook his head.

“It’s fine,” you said with a smile as you pulled up a chair. “I don’t have to train with Natasha for another hour. I’m all yours.”

You had mourned Peter after the snap, well everyone really, but you and he were friends. Then he came back, five years later – five years older than when he left – he came back, but you lost Tony and Natasha that day and there was no time for celebrating everyone’s return, not even Peter Parker.

2025

You approach the table as he glances over at you, reaching up to scratch the back of his head shyly, “Oh – hi.”

“Looks like you didn’t sleep,” you offer him the mug, after all, he probably needs it more than you, and he graciously accepts it.

“Yea, I got sidetracked,” he replies, before sipping the coffee slowly, savoring the caramel flavor you've added. “That's good.” His face lights up with excitement as he places the mug on the table, “I came up with something new.”

“I didn’t want something new,” you shake your head. “The same design was fine Parker.”

The suit was Tony’s idea, a deep violet color with black accents. Peter knows what the concept means to you, that’s why he didn’t change Stark’s original plan, only the color scheme.

“I thought it might be time for a change,” Peter begins, working with device in his hand. “Someone should carry on the legacy – it can’t be me.”

“Parker, no,” you shake your head vehemently, not liking the idea of what he’s talking about. “I’m nothing like he was – I – I can’t.”

He smiles at you warmly as he flicks the device in his hand, causing a case on the wall closest to you to slowly open, revealing the suit he's been working on all night. Your hand covers your mouth as you look at it in surprise.

“You admired him – yea – but that’s not who really trained you,” Parker says. Tears well up in your eyes as you stare at the solid back suit that resembles Natasha’s. Her customary red accents now a deep violet color as are the Widow’s Bite bracelets which adorn both wrists. “I suggested it to Rhodey first, and he agrees, so do the rest of the guys.” He follows with you as you approach the suit, reaching out to run your fingers along the Kevlar material.

You clear your throat as you try to wipe the tears from your eyes without him noticing, “I don’t know.”

“I do,” Peter nudges you with his shoulder. “You’re her legacy.”

“Thank you.”

It’s the first time he's seen you look genuinely happy since you've returned, and he can't help the smile that crosses his face as you glance up at him. He feels a rush of endorphins as sees the glint of admiration in your eyes for him and that look alone would be worth a week of sleepless nights spent in the lab.

“I love it Parker,” you add before moving closer to inspect the utility belt and thigh holster.

***

It was supposed to be a simple run, take down a biker gang who were running guns across the border.

Nothing is ever simple in your world though.

You use the Widow’s Bite bracelets to electrocute the man who has you from behind. Parker is busy disarming a few of the other men and webbing them up when you see one of them break free from his webbing as if it’s nothing and your eyes widen in shock. He jerks two of the henchmen free from their webbing as well and they grab weapons.

“Enhanced,” is the only word you can get out before the man launches a table across the room at you, knocking you to the ground. Peter turns quickly, sensing the oncoming assault and ducks, grabbing the man’s fist as he swings, engaging in one on one combat with one of the assailants while the enhanced individual stalks towards you.

Gathering yourself from the floor, you shoot a taser from your wrist into the man, but it does nothing against him as he continues towards you. Using your boot, you kick one of the already broken legs off the table, severing it and you grab for it clumsily.

The simple mission has just turned into a fight for survival as Parker dodges bullets, his webbing depleted, and you face down an enhanced individual. Ninety-five percent of the time missions are successful with no casualties – no blood spilled – unfortunately this is that five percent.

 ***

You glance from the blood on your hands to the bodies on the floor, Parker moves slowly towards you, limping visibly from the bullet you saw graze his calf.

“Are you okay?” He pulls the red mask from his head, his dark eyes full of concern and his hair a chaotic mess.

“Yea,” you reply as he glances at the blood on you, “it’s not my blood.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Peter states.

Back on the quinjet, you scrub your hands clean as Parker places the controls on autopilot. He watches as you dry your hands angrily. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s had to kill someone, nor will it be the last. He doesn’t like it, but sometimes, it’s necessary in this line of work.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He questions you again quietly.

“I’m sorry,” you reply. “I’ll talk with Wilson about this. The intel should have been better. They had an enhanced individual and we should have known that. We shouldn’t have been put in that position, I’m sorry you had to – you had to do that.”

“Hey,” Peter tries to calm you. “It’s okay. It happens.”

“No,” your voice is louder, “it’s not okay. You’re just a –” You catch yourself and stop.

“Just a what?” He raises an eyebrow. “A kid?”

“That’s not what I meant,” you begin, but he interrupts you.

“Is that what you see when you look at me?” He questions and you shake your head quickly as he folds his arms across his chest. “Then what do you see?”

“I see,” you begin, noticing how much he fills out the red and black suit. “you, Parker – like always.” He’s staring at you intensely. “Why? What do you see – with me?”

His dark eyes never waver, adrenaline from earlier still coursing through his veins, “I see the girl I’ve had a crush on since Berlin.” You tilt your head curiously, waiting for him to say he’s joking, but he begins to walk towards you. “Is that really what you see when you look at me?” He asks, hearing as your heart rate increases with each step he takes. “That awkward sixteen-year-old kid?” You move backwards as he advances until your legs bump the table. He’s far from the teenager you knew back then and even if your mind is having a hard time registering that, your body is screaming it.

You tense up as he moves closer to you, the table preventing you from getting away, “We were kids Parker. I was supposed to watch out for you.”

“We’re not kids anymore.” His eyes are full of sadness as he reaches up and brushes your hair behind your ear gently. “We watch out for each other now.”

His touch sends a shiver down your spine and your throat goes dry as he takes a step back, turning away from you. The words he said replaying through your mind, he’s had a crush on you since Berlin. Your hand flies to his arm instinctively to stop him, “All this time?” You question as he turns back to you slowly. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“You needed time to heal – we both did,” he responds. “I was waiting for you to come home.”

The muscles in his arm ripple underneath your touch as his hand moves to your waist, your voice doesn’t feel like your own as you say softly, “I’ve been home – what are you waiting for – Peter?”

His lips crash against yours – hot and hard – urgent as he drags you closer to him. There’s not an inch of space between you as your fingers tangle in his hair, heat flaring from every pulse point.

“Peter,” E.D.I.T.H.’s voice comes across the loudspeaker in the quinjet causing the two of you to pull apart slowly.

“Yes E.D.I.T.H.,” Peter acknowledges the AI.

“Mr. Stark’s protocol for this situation requires me give you a message,” the voice begins, the tone changing to a more serious one. “Took you long enough kid.”

You close your eyes, burying your face into Peter’s shoulder as you try not to laugh. Peter, however, does laugh a little as he pinches the bridge of his nose before saying, “E.D.I.T.H. initiate privacy mode please.”

“Yes, Peter.”

[autisticmight]

how does someone who knows little-to-nothing about it get into sanders sides? i saw thomas' vines, and i've been sort of tangentially aware that the facets of his personality that he portrayed in the vines have since become characters, but there's a whole bunch of new ones??? what the fuck is a janus???? HELP. tldr where do i find The Lore? plz obi wan ur my only hope

it’s very simple!!! you hyperfixate on thomas sanders’s content in, like, 2016? and then he uploads a video called ‘my true identity’, which is a bit weird, but you love those vine characters. then he uploads more, and it becomes a trend. apparently people in the comments are shipping the prince guy and anxiety. you rewatch the new year’s video an embarrassing amount of times with your dog

i had a whole paragraph here about why i like the series, and why i dropped it and then picked it up again, but it was just a block of lowercase text and i guess it’s kind of hard to read

anyway, here’s the playlist of every episode, but i’m going to put a summary of the series and individual episodes under the readmore, while also ranking them, because i am Special Interesting and i like being useful. and i guess i’m gonna write using. like. actual grammar. if the readmore doesn’t work, then. have fun reading my infodump

here we go

Sanders Sides: A Summary

Fictional Version Of Thomas Sanders (known as Character!Thomas, and will be simply referred to as ‘Thomas’ henceforth) has ‘Sides’, which are parts of his personality that have been exaggerated and personified. It’s a nice little series set in some kind of semi-urban fantasy world, but mostly in Thomas’s living room. It mostly uses the idea of ‘Sides’ to represent the inner schemata of an individual. In simpler terms, you know when you’re conflicted, and you end up arguing with yourself? Yeah, it’s that.

Also, don’t read the comments, unless you want to disregard the care I’ve taken to not put spoilers in the Season 1 Summaries.

Season 1

I’d like to split this into parts, because there are a lot of things in earlier episodes that conflict with later characterisation. However, it’s also fun to watch them, and then rewatch them after some of the longer episodes, and feel your heart shatter!

This half of Season 1 was made solely by Thomas. It tends to be a bit more scattered, and can be watched out of chronological order, or completely skipped. Yes, I’m telling you that you can skip literally all of this section, if you want to. However, these are also the easiest videos to watch, and offer a taste of Silly Sanders Sides Hijinks without the emotional commitment.

My True Identity (6 min) - Thomas delves into the three aspects of his personality; his Logic (Teacher Guy), his Creativity (the Prince, also called Princey), and his Morality (Dad Guy who is Not Thomas’s Dad). At this point, the characters are far more similar to their Vine counterparts, and the characterisation clashes with later episodes. (3/5 - A nice way to see if you’ll enjoy the humour of this series)

Way Too Adult (5 min) - Thomas is asked by his family to help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Dad Guy pops up and discusses with Thomas how he can better learn to take care of himself. Features a talking stove, which is part of the reason why I classify this series as urban fantasy, and the start of a running joke. (2/5 - A fun, albeit rare, look into Dad Guy being responsible. I actually prefer this to My True Identity, but ranks lower due to conflicting with later S1 characterisation.)

Taking On Anxiety with Lilly Singh (6 min) - Thomas hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety, who is a sassy, snide guy, sitting on the staircase. Princey, as the embodiment of Thomas’s hopes and dreams, is... Usurped by an imaginary version of Lilly Singh, who helps teach Thomas how to cope with feeling anxious. (3/5 - Introduces some secret tools that will help us later. The tools are Thomas being able to travel to various places in his head, and also Anxiety.)

A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! (7 min) - The first video wherein you realise that this is A Thing. Thomas welcomes in the new year, hoping that 2017 will be better than 2016. Logic shows up to help him figure out some New Year’s Resolutions, accompanied by Dad Guy and Princey. Anxiety joins in to point out that Thomas has rarely, if ever, kept to his resolutions before. Through the first musical number of the series, the Core Sides and Thomas figure out simple, achievable resolutions that Thomas can use to improve his wellbeing. (4/5 - Unintentional foreshadowing in the form of a bop.)

The Dark Side of Disney (6 min) - Princey, not for the last time, enthuses about the wonders of Disney. However, Anxiety also appears, insisting that Disney is not as wholesome as it first appears. They argue and bond, despite the fact that Thomas still hasn’t redacted his statement regarding his hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety. (2/5 - I have strong feelings on the meaning of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and ‘The Little Mermaid’, both of which are shrugged off in favour of the tryhard-edgy ‘blegh stockholm syndrome’ and ‘blegh change yourself to get your man’. Still, it’s a fan-favourite for a reason, and the endcard always makes me smile.)

I’m in a Disney Show!! (6 min) - Princey enthuses about the wonders of Disney, because Thomas is in a Disney show. He talks about what happened, while the Sides (mostly Logic) suggest clickbait titles in order to entice people to watch the video. (2/5 - L*gan P*ul is mentioned, as he was also in the episode.)

The Mind vs. The Heart (6 min) - Thomas finds himself split between following his mind, Logic, or his heart, Morality. Features onesies, and looks further into the characters of Logic and Dad Guy. (3/5 - Pretty calm and peaceful, to be honest. It’s nice.)

Then we move onto the second part of Season 1. This is when Thomas’s friend, Joan, began to offer their input into scriptwriting and directing. They’re most of the reason why Sanders Sides is an actual series, instead of being silly skit characters in short vlogs. From here on in, episodes become more complex, and work on an actual timeline.

Alone on Valentines Day (9 min) - Thomas is rather upset that he will be, as the title says, alone on Valentine’s Day. The Sides try to help him figure out how to get a date with an imaginary version of his friend Valerie, but each of them has a weirder way of going about it than the last. (4/5 - Far more cohesive than previous videos, but Thomas still wasn’t fully out as gay, so his hypothetical date is a woman. Yes, I took points off because of that. Yes, I’m about to erase the 3/5 to make it 4/5 because Valerie is a delight.)

Losing My Motivation (9 min) - When Thomas finds himself procrastinating, Logic takes it upon himself to find out which side is causing it. In order to get into a deductive mindset, Logic dresses up as Sherlock, while Dad Guy joins in as Watson. Once the case is solved, an important piece of information is revealed: the Sides have names. (Logic’s name is revealed) (3/5 - It’s just a fun little video, and I can’t keep giving every video from here on in 4/5, or that’ll ruin the whole thingy.)

Sanders Sides Q&A (9 min) - Exactly what it sounds like. There’s not much else to say. (2/5 - I love it, but it’s not really necessary to understand the whole series. It’s just extra characterisation.)

Am I Original? (12 min) - Thomas finds himself in a creative rut, trying to think of a completely original idea. Princey requests full creative control - “full-on Daydream Mode” - in order to rapidly consider and enact many different concepts, all while trying to make something that has never been seen before. (Princey’s name is revealed) (4/5 - Important characterisation for Princey. I originally rated it lower due to Thomas’s inability to rap, but upon rewatching, i found that the ending dialogue between Princey and Thomas was worth two points, rather than the single one I gave it previously.)

My Negative Thinking (13 min) - When Thomas messes up in an audition, his ego - Princey - is out of commission and being cared for by Dad Guy. Therefore, the only Sides available to aid him in this situation are Logic and Anxiety, neither of whom can help Thomas in the way he wants to. Anxiety is worsening Thomas’s mental state, so Logan proposes a debate in order to combat those cognitive distortions. (4/5 - A fan-favourite episode which offers a lot of insight into Logic and Anxiety as characters. It is useful as a tool for identifying cognitive distortions in real life, which may help with the individual’s mental health. Even though it introduces another running joke, it’s educational and fun, and it develops their relationship in a positive manner, I just don’t particularly enjoy it.)

Growing Up (15 min) - It’s Thomas’s birthday! He’s in his late twenties, and he’s still a kid at heart. He hasn’t done his laundry, he's silly and immature, and he feels like he isn’t at the point that he needs to be in his life. Therefore, all the Sides, except for Dad Guy, who ironically embodies Thomas’s inner child, work on trying to make him more mature. (Morality’s name is revealed) (3/5 - Features the concept of Voltron Shirt. I love this episode, but there is a noticeable change in audio quality at the end which affects how enjoyable it is.)

Making Some Changes (15 min) - Back in Thomas’s living room, and in opposition to his view from the last episode, Anxiety is worried about how life changes in unpredictable ways, and especially about losing contact with Thomas’s friends. Therefore, in order to keep Thomas’s friends permanently by his side, Princey gets them all to shapeshift. (3/5 - It might be skippable, but it’s just really, really fun.)

Becoming A Cartoon (10 min) - Adding to the whole urban fantasy thing, it turns out that animators can literally, physically turn people into cartoons. Thomas wants to be a cartoon. Princey catches Anxiety in his arms and says “everybody loves the villain,” and I think that’s all you need to know. (1/5 - Co-stars B*tch H*rtman, known for Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, and Being A Bigot, who did the character designs for the Sides, if not the actual animation. And the designs are kind of. Eh. Just watch some fanmade animatics.)

Accepting Anxiety (23 min) - Part 1: Excepting Anxiety (10 min), and Part 2: Can Anxiety Be Good? (14 min) - HOO. If the musical number or the animation didn’t clue you in, this video confirms that Sanders Sides is A Thing. Remember how Thomas hoped and dreamt to get rid of his Anxiety? Remember how he never redacted that statement, or even expressed a bit of remorse? Well, here, his wishes come true, and he doesn’t feel bad about it at all! That’s because he has absolutely no shame, caution, or fear of death. Yeah, he’s a mess. Therefore, the Sides make him take them on a magical quest to Anxiety’s Room, in order to un-mess-ify Thomas. (Anxiety’s name is revealed) (5/5 - The team really went above and beyond with this one. Like. Hoo. That’s it. Just. Hoo. Hoo. I’m an owl.)

And that’s Season 1!!! I’m going to add Season 2 in a reblog, because this has taken roughly three hours and it’s been really difficult to not spoil their names!!! which i did anyway because their names are all easier to type from muscle memory!!!

[operacda]

Music Tips For Parties

I am going to give you some brisk music tips to get the gathering up and runnin'.

First thing is what's going on with everything kind of group will be at your gathering? What sort of music do you think they like? Solicit a couple from your companions who are heading off to the gathering. There are various sorts of groups that like a wide range of sorts of music. I host been to certain gatherings where nobody was feelin' the music. What's more, they all left. I felt frustrated about the host, since you take this time and exertion and the music sucks. You certainly don't need that. Sounds basic, however individuals mess it up constantly.

Furthermore, what sort of apparatus would you say you are going to knock your music on? The absolute best gatherings I have facilitated were with DJs. I promise you have you said you had somebody DJing your gathering individuals will come. On the off chance that you know somebody who can DJ that is an or more, yet in the event that you don't, at that point you can discover one on Craigslist. There are DJs searching for gigs constantly. Try not to burn through many dollars on a DJ. Except if it is a colossal occasion or you got the money in any case. You can locate a not too bad DJ for about $50-$100 dollars relying upon to what extent you need them to turn. Three to four hours for the most part carries out the responsibility.

Additional Tip: When employing a DJ, ensure you realize what sort of rigging they are carrying with them and what kind of apparatus you can flexibly (ropes, speakers, turntables, and so on.).

In the event that you can't bear the cost of a DJ and it's only a standard gathering than you got different alternatives. I normally toss parties without a DJ so no concerns. You can utilize whatever plays music truly (iPod, Laptop, Zune, and so on.). One preferred position of a PC over an iPod (except if it is an iTouch) is that you can download tunes while the gathering is going. So on the off chance that somebody demands a melody and you don't have it you can download it. A bit of leeway for an iPod is that it is significantly progressively versatile. You don't generally need to stress over anybody thumping it over like the PC. It is really strong. So settle on your rigging and make a melody list. Put them in any request and ensure no different tunes that are not on the tune list unintentionally plays during the evening of the gathering. Arbitrary tunes that spring up out of the blue can be upsetting. It additionally disturbs the gathering. Trust me. All By Myself doesn't sound great when impacted in high volume. Ensure your tune list is around 60-80 melodies relying upon to what extent you need the gathering to last. Not all the tunes on the rundown will be played; you may need to change a tune, on the grounds that the group isn't feeling it. Recall take into account the group. To make the music stream far and away superior utilize a program that has a crossfader. Winamp and iTunes both have them. A crossfader decreases every one of those quiet parts toward the finish of melodies.

So you got your apparatus and your music playlist. What you need presently are the speakers. Kindly don't utilize feeble unfortunate 10W PC speakers. On the off chance that you do it is a smack to the face to all the individuals that go to your gathering. These melodies require overwhelming bass and great treble to get individuals on the move floor. The size of the speakers will be subject to the size of the room. Club Banger melodies has heaps of bass, so get speakers that can deal with it. I would suggest tower speakers, a subwoofer, and a sound beneficiary.

Alert tip: The speakers should be noisy enough so everyone at the gathering can hear it, yet not boisterous enough to stand out from the outside of your home. In the event that you don't have neighbors that are cool with you bumpin' music until the evening of sunrise they will presumably call the cops. On the off chance that they do, than your gathering will get beat down without a doubt. You don't need that. Test out the speakers before anybody goes to the gathering so you don't need to meddle with it later.

External Links

Opera CDA Wordpress Jigsy Getpocket Instapaper

[mayfuji]

Oneus Twilight full comeback review

When I say full comeback review it’s because it’s a FULL comeback review. From the concept films to the Japanese verison, were gonna cover a lot so get a cup of something to drink cause this will be hella long aka Bible (I’m a nice person I’m telling you this beforehand).(You should do a Youtube video review then… nya… BORING)

So let’s begin. This is not the first time I follow a group comeback in real time… You know… Checking everyday the performances, so I kinda know how it works. We have gone through a lot of stuff… KARD You in Me, GFriend Fingertip, Red Velvet Peak a Boo, Dreamcacther as whole, BTS Fake Love, F(x) Dracula, BTS Wings album as a whole and last but far from least BTS Blood Sweat and Tears. I wouldn’t call some of them dark concept, I also wouldn’t call some of the sexy concept. By these examples you can see I have my standards pretty high. I’m that annoying perfectionist old uncle and declare myself guilty. For years Blood Sweat and Tears was the top song for me. (I’m a sane person ok… That doesn’t mean I listen to it 24/7). The MV had very beautiful aesthetics and I liked the lyrics and the song. Clothes were cool and the coreography too. F(x) Dracula would come in second and I never thought something could also join these two. Until… It happened. I knew RBW was releasing a new group but I just waited. Turns out I found out the group some months later then the actual debut. Oneus debuted with Valkyrie. The way they changed the coreography every stage, the amazing fashion sense, song was good quality. They had vocal thecnique, they had dancing it caught my attention and Valkyrie was straight to my playlist. Then… it happened. The group’s first comeback. I don’t know how, when or even who am I but I found out about the comeback EXACTLY AT THE RIGHT TIME (Technically not because I was 16 hours late). I know you know we know, we are not going retro like 80’s or 90’s. We are not going retro like acient Corea like BTS Idol. We are going retro 1500/1700 not Japan, not China, not Corea, EUROPE. Welcome to the renaissance. The MV was shot in Italy, the amazing fashion sense strikes again (I swear to God stylist min is communicating with me), the song, the lyrics, the coreography, the cool colored camera filters, I need to mention the vocal technique again, the rest of the album being consistently good (BingBing), I dare say nothing is perfect… But man… This gets 99,99% of what I call perfection. It’s a shame they didn’t win any music show… Because they are a newer group and still don’t have a large fandom? WHO CARES. Let me tell you something BTS sucess should have been in 2017 Wings… The high point of their artistity…  Ateez was also a newer group AND THEY DID WIN. I give congratulations to them but Oneus needed to win and it had to be with Twilight nothing changes my mind. (Don’t come to me saying we can give them their win next comeback, it won’t do it) This type of thing only happens once in a lifetime, why? Repeat and it gets boring, they can do the same concept again but it won’t be the same, same for BTS wings. It’s not about quantity is quality. Veiws never mattered to me and now I can say with all my mighty that wins do not make art. (I was never a fan of streaming but you count my ass off this mess cause YES I did some small streaming of the MV, I did my homework) (Take in account they did this comeback with BLOOD IN THEIR EYES) (Please give Dreamcather and KARD their first win too. Did you know that with You and I Dreamcatcher also had comeback with blood in their eyes??). Let’s start with the song name… Twilight. Remember 2009 movie sensation Twilight? Yup that’s it… I know you know we know, we are going deep in the vampire/ werewolf style in here and why I said I know you know we know? Xion posted about it on Twitter… 

THEY ARE AWARE therefore I know you know we know. JUST IMAGINE THEIR LIGHTSTICK AND FANDOM COLOR AND END OF YEAR PERFORMANCES. CHECK OUT ONEWE TOO.(I took the liberty of making a playlist with extra post promotion content (with English sub) - cause I know you all love content - linked below, you don’t need to thank me, not I’m not putting english girl, focus on Twilight)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTiTzw8HrCfxRiB1DyD77ktE9UQm6sBeQ

Just in case you haven’t watched this beautiful MV here it is.

Song, yes. Lyrics, yes, coreo yes, key point of coreo YES, Keonhee vocals YES (I trust this legend vocal thecnique more then I trust myself). Aesthetics? YES. Italy? I need to sneakly and illegally go there RIGHT NOW. This is a whole YES. ( Sir... If you think I haven't noticed the moon changed from previous album you are wrong cause I noticed. Sir are your albums going to complete the moon please say yes... Also... Have you noticed Woongie used the wet hair effect? + his brown eyeshadow is stunning.

Also line and center distribution is on the playlist for in deepth study... Twilight is basically Seoho eating up all the line AND center distribution and detail... the only thing he does is SING THE CHORUS. Also thanks Keone Madrid for making this coreo for Oneus (he also did BTS Blood Sweat and Tears -  DO YOU SEE THE PATTERN). Also rumors that Oneus actually created about 40-50% of the coreo so also thank you Oneus hehe.

Bitch it's me we are taking about do you really think I would miss a possible plotline?? Xion is with a red diamond and later he breaks it into dust (I'm scared). Keonhee is with a ring. Ravn is looking at his own reflection in the water and Seoho is looking at his own reflection through a broken mirror. Woongie is with a necklace. I guess the high point in Leedo's individual shots is the wolf (question mark)... Woongie and Keonhee are the only members that change the eye color. Seoho and Woongie are the only members that simulate super powers (question mark). Summary they all lost someone.... Silence is also a way of communication... I'm not a huge fan of theories or the fanfics I know ya'll write later in wattpad but fell yourself served, you're welcome, no need to thank me.

Now some highlights.

Ok this goes straight up to the hall of iconic earnings… (Man... But his walk was so POWERFUL)

How ASIA did not notice two SKULLS in here and how they are not SHOCK??? The ring is small… BUT POWERFUL.

Question time, if they had money to do the CGI then why didn’t they erase this little hairs in Leedo’s eyebrow?????? We’ll never know...

MV behind (english sub cause I love you all ~~ plays english girl in reverse in the background ~~)

Humanity mystery here. They recorded a version of the coreography when the sun was actually falling down in real life and we see those scenes in the MV. But if the whole staff was SHOCK about the key part of the coreography being extremely perfect and beautiful then why not use it on the MV? Sure the version they used outdoors was pretty too but this was ALSO awesome and I think I need as many version of the MV as I can.

Album review

Of course I would listen to the whole album.

Intro - What can I say... it fells so chill out, kinda minimalistic I just loved it. Twilight - Just amazing... I liked the dumbstep, the music is confusing witch I find extreamly cool. English Girl - Let em tell you not my type of song... but the lyrics are extreamly funny and relatable... so I forgive (I’m waiting crazy ho now Oneus, do not disappoint me) BingBing- YOU DON'T FREAKING START A SONG IN FRENCH IF NOT AIMING FOR TITTLE TRACK LEVEL. Ok and can we talk about the coreography???? BEAUTIFUL and I want to know the mastermind behind it. I just don't know why this was not above English Girl on the tracklist... White Night - Ok a more slow song but as always Oneus always delivers. (low key Red Thread sequel??) Now - This gives me Calvin Harris vibes. More dance eletronic standard pop but it's good...

PACKING-

Look... the CD case is very unique but think about it... if you take your album from above there is a risk everything wil fall... (1theK unboxing on the playlist, cause they were the cover for 1theK youtube chanel so 1thek is Oneus bitch)

1theK Suit dance and Dance cover contest

Please give Seoho something that WILL NOT FALL FROM HIS SHOULDERS cause clothes are made to be comfortable. What is the point to take off the jackets when the night is COLDER??? (Wait.. let me answer that one… cause you can’t see black in black… I get it… BUT REGARDLESS) one of the mysteries we’ll never know. (Poor ties must have suffered a lot in the middle of the harnesses)

Now before we jump into the important stuff let me tell you a secret… Keonhee is the most difficult member to dress… why? He’s 1,81 cm tall… anything you give him to wear can make him look even taller and his face is more projected (did you know he uses braces?) so you really need to pay attention to his hair. We’ll use this information latter.

So the first performance ever was… Guess what… Before the MV was released and where? JAPAN (My half japanese ass is shaking). So people there kinda received a spoiler (clothes too) and Mnet uploaded it in the same day of the MV release so other people that weren’t at the kcon wouldn’t receive a spoiler. No complains here except Ravn chocker being TOO BIG and Keonhee clothes making him look taller. (Nice expensive microphones you got in here)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaxWHKRm9xo

Now the actual comeback in Corea begins. (Images cause tumblr won’t let me upload the videos) (I’ll upload the links below the image) (No… before you ask I’m not uploading english girl, too much work… focus on twilight) ( As I spoiled above English girl was the chosen B side. Look... I know it's us international fans unofficial anthem but c'mon... BING BING) (I know I'll miss camerawork in here but I'll eventually get the hang of it) (Don't ask me about make up cause unfortunately I don't have 4k 360° to get THAT close up. But from other close up photos I trust their make up artist) 

WEEK 1

31/05/19

https://youtu.be/qe2p_nKZ7uo

First choice was the ACDC Black in Black 1.0 clothing set from the MV, Keonhee clothes making him look taller as usual… Pretty clothes but… YELLOW LIGHTS??? with red?? is this ketchup and mustard? The lighting did not appeal to me and shout out to the physics mystery.

2:03 (Time stamp cause I love you all) HOW ON EARTH DID HIS EARPIECE END UP THERE? I guess we’ll never know.

01/06/19

https://youtu.be/adhuo5pMVbw

Keonhee clothes making him look taller as usual… but oh his hair was NICE… Fight me I’m the last person in the world to advocate in favor of coconut hair but it looks nice on him. No yellow lights so it’s a win situation, I like to call this the GLOVES set of the MV.

02/06/19

https://youtu.be/j7DhdicaV9I

Kudos for the physical scenario and Woongie earings (same as the MV). Keonhee clothes making him look taller as usual… no yellow lights… and this comeplete all the clothes they wore in the MV. Please… save Leedo from his chocker… too large.

04/06/19

https://youtu.be/Rl1f0vSxP14

THE SUITS a whole YES. Keonhee clothes were good but we got yellow in here and this is a NO, Woongie coconut hair was also a no but Seoho red highlights? YES. Also… Woongie… the harnesses should go UNDER the jacket not ABOVE it…

05/06/19

https://youtu.be/xmLNWuAyc9Q

Repeating clothes… but this doesn’t bother me. Ketchup and mustard lights is a no. Woongie earing yes and in case you haven’t noticed Seoho gold huge ass rings… blame the yellow lights. Keonhee hair was actually nice.

06/06/19

https://youtu.be/LcRe_SUL7Ok

Physical scenario yes, yellow lights no, clothing NO, Seoho huge ass rings YES. That’s the summary.

07/06/19 v1

https://youtu.be/hlrKa9b_P60

Uniforms? Approved, Leedo earing approved, Physical scenario approved. Orange? NO. Keonhee harmonizing with himself 1.0? YES

07/06/19 v2

https://youtu.be/3bI3GY4nALE

So… they blessed Japan with that set of clothes now it’s Corea time. Ketchup and mustard lights is a no. No earings or rings today… but  Keonhee harmonizing with himself 2.0? YES

08/06/19

https://youtu.be/0K1bhbuvYYU

You know what this SMELLS like? PERFECTION. Purple, black and red the holly trinity of colors. Keonhee clothes finally making justice to him, his hair was also nice. A LOT of light in the scenario to get THAT CLEAR LOOK cause I want to SEE things. Not a single yellow light… Woongie earings? YES. Please save Ravn from his chocker. Seoho dear… what is the point of wearing a black waistcoat… WITH A BLACK SHIRT? (But it’s approved regardless).

09/06/19

https://youtu.be/kf_C_GaCeGA

I present you Michael Jackson Black or White 1.0 clothing set. Woongie earing? YES. The light was a bit tricky. Chorus was beautifully black and white. We also had blue/green. In the red one we had yellow lights but it didn’t bother me at all. Overall it’s approved to me.

WEEK 2

11/06/19

https://youtu.be/eQcu7UH3354

They repeated clothes, but it didn’t bother me. Seoho rings? YES. No yellow lights. This is also super good and I can’t choose between the two times they wore this clothes.

12/06/19

https://youtu.be/DdI37HMWAJk

They repeated Michael Jackson Black or White 1.0 set. Ketchup and mustard? Purple? Lighting was a no. Seoho ring was a yes.

13/06/19

https://youtu.be/hBGhwPXRVec

New clothes yay. Keonhee hair and clothes were nice, I don’t know what to think about this set of clothes because I was never a fan of prints or this variations of cream and brown. The way the lights were positioned was tricky but the small amout of yellow lights didn’t bother me at all. No rings or earings today unfortunately.

14/06/19 v1

https://youtu.be/8jyzbTMMUgw

Clothes were repeated witch is a no. Do not think that instead of wearing silver or gold wearing black jewelry will make me forgive the clothes. No rings or earings today unfortunately. Ketchup and mustard lights is also a no. Keonhee clothes making him look taller as usual… This whole performance was a whole no.

14/06/19 v2

https://youtu.be/7fIFwRPK9tk

I present you Michael Jackson Black or White 2.0 set. IT’S HIGH END JEWELRY YOU WANT? IT’S HIGH END JEWELRY YOU’LL GET. Seoho rings (in both hands), Woongie earings, Keonhee double necklace, Leedo earings and TRIPLE necklace, do you know how powerful you have to be to use a triple necklace? The only things that killed it were the hand microphones and the yellow lights…

14/06/2019… I will never forget this day… How do they DARE to arrive at the recording… like THIS?

and when it’s performance time they step down the clothing? Well the clothes they were using ARE pretty but the ones they arrived? STUNNING ( aka ACDC Black in Black 2.0). Stylist min there are occasions you need to save the outfit to use… just arriving at the recording with those clothes is a waste of fashion. It could easily replace one of the times you repeated clothes. (I may say make up and contact lenses were on point too)

15/06/19

https://youtu.be/4LticXTZC8U

(Thank you music core for the low definition)

Yay new clothes, the hairs and clothes look SO FLUFFY. Seoho rings yes, Woongie earings yes, Leedo rings YES, lighting was good, no complains here.

16/06/19

https://youtu.be/z1A7pgFJMVE

First of all I’m really mad because they cutted the song. Second I’m really mad because they didn’t upload on YouTube. It’s seems like this is was pre calculated beucase it was EXACTLY WHEN THEY CHANGED THE COREOGRAPHY. I don’t know if they changed because they knew the song would be cut or if it was really a coincidence… humanity mistery again. Lighting was so beautiful until they came with the yellow… Woongie hair was so fluffy and earings was a yes. Clothes were Michael Jackson Black or White 3.0 and that’s it… That day I learned my lesson… you either are team rings or team gloves… there is no in between.

WEEK 3

18/06/19

https://youtu.be/xGnQRWIejOc

They repeated Michael Jackson Black or White 2.0 set. Yellow lights? This is a no.

19/06/19

SKIPPED CAUSE WEEKLY IDOL

20/06/19

https://youtu.be/uDQhH1X6SCk

I present you the new year eve set… Happy new year everyone, white and gold. From the same writers of black waistcoat with black shirt we have white waistcoat with white shirt. Ketchup and mustard lights? No. Seoho rings, YES. Woongie earing? YES. Shout out Ravn looks super good and Leedo chocker was middle term. Xion was not present and they had to do small changes (I SEE YOU SEOHO THANK YOU SIR)

21/06/19 V1

https://youtu.be/OOdS62gRMOg

Suits YES. Seoho rings, YES, we didn’t have earings… I’m sad. Ketchup and mustard lights? No.

21/06/19 V2

https://youtu.be/gU8cdpbEK0k

I’m sorry… WHAT????? Clothes are a no… Grey? With black purple and red? No. Noodle hair Woongie? NO. Woongie earing? Yes. Hand microphones? No. Yellow lights? Like…

SERIOUSLY??? NO.

22/06/19

SKIPPED

23/06/19

https://youtu.be/dBDRVdC9ntQ

(I’m so sorry for the low definition here)

Same old story. I’m mad they cutted the song, didn’t upload on youtube and exactly when they changed the coreography. On the other side we have new clothes yay. It’s not only black and gold powerful match. It’s black and gold with snake print cause I’m a bad bitch. It’s the only place where they NEEDED to use the yellow lights and I’m actually mad they used black and white. Someone save Seoho from his chocker. Color scheme was great but it’s not like the clothes desing are bad. I just feel it could have been better. We didn’t have earings or rings today BUT HEY, FANSING, BING BING HAS A COREO AND ITS AWSOME. 23/06/19 will be in my heart (even though it was just a sneak peak).

4 WEEKS BICTHES

Ya’ll misbelievers will hear this song untill your ears BLEED

25/06/19

https://youtu.be/rg_x8oKwibs

Woongie you really fooled me here I was scared. He only did the fingerheart cause it was their last performace at that specific program. Repeating clothes… Lighting was good, no earings or rings… Well really tricky. I don’t see roots so you all did a touch up on the hairs and Woongie got a little bit blonder… I don’t like it, it don’t think the color suits him. Keonhee hair got a little darker but no problems… That’s it.

26/06/19 

https://youtu.be/dMUSRroP1K0

Repeated the new year eve set. Seoho had to repeat the clothes for me to understand the clothes. Seoho ring yes, Woongie earing yes. Lighting was huge no, all crazy combinations like blue and yellow and purple and etc. But in the ending even though it was yellow the lighting was pretty.

27/06/19 ~~FINALE~~

https://youtu.be/TfEpkKwGQuA

We going Marilyn Monroe Woongie? His earings as always YES, Lithing... well… very tricky since we almost couldn’t see it but it didn’t look promissing. White and cream with black look more promissing then grey with black and red and purple… but not my favorite clothes, they have better weapons… Well… that’s it.

I wish they would go the whole week but they didn’t…

SUPRISE BITCH, YOU THINK 27/06/19 WAS OVER? THINK AGAIN

Oneus first photobook in Milano was announced. I won’t go into detail cause this is not the goal here... but we get it... YOU WEREN’T JOKING AROUND IN ITALY. Usually it takes a lot of time for a group to come up with a photobook so I’m proud and that was pretty smartass way to finish promotions if I may say...

Now… you have seen me against the yellow light for the whole post and you must be asking yourself WHY? Well… when you have the work to color correct the entire MV to cool colors YOU MUST AS WELL DO IT ON THE PERFORMANCES… that’s it… it’s called color pallet and you should respect it. Or in other cases like when they used black and gold respect the color palette of the specific performance.

Now let’s go to 05/07/19 Oneus is a newer group so I wasn’t even dreaming about this cause again... It takes a while for this to happened. My spider senses told me something was off when they announced they would be attending breakout in Japan and SURPRISE. Twilight japanese version was announced. Versions A/B/C and CD+DVD. Some questions were raised. There will be another version of the MV and new clothes? If yes I WANT SOMETHING ON THE SAME LEVEL. Will there be a instrumental version? Will they put Valkyrie japanese version too? They would all be answered later... AND MORE. They had the audacity to show BingBing complete coreo for the first time. They must really love Japan. Legends also say that they already performed the japanese version in this festival.

I was getting uneasy with the release date coming closer and no photos of the covers of the CD’s... then 25/07 they released a schedule... I wasn’t really expecting a schedule but I was happy cause next day we would have a teaser of the MV and surprise, it was basiclly the same thing. Good because is quality stuff but bad cause I was waiting somehing new... 29/07/19 We got tracklist and GUESS WHO WAS THERE?? EXACTLY, VALKYRIE JAPANESE VERSION +++++ TWO new songs.... We are blessed.. until 30/07/19 where we got what actually was happening...

IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL LIMITED CD+DVD? It follows Raise US desing but I wanted something more... It fells like it’s missing something...

Version A (Clearly Valkyrie) IT’S INSTRUMENTAL YOU WANT? IT’S INTRUMENTAL YOU’LL GET. But I’m sad... where are the other two new songs you may ask?

Verson B OOONNEEEE of the new songs (ok we also have it’s instrumental too and cover is ok)

Version C THE OTHER SONG (we have it’s instrumental too and I didn’t know people had silver skin...)

Do you see the strategy? Each version has one of the songs so you have to buy all the versions... And I didn’t like this...

07/08 The MV was released. They don’t have official youtube chanel so they uploaded in the company that represents them in japan.

The major changes were the individual shots as they had to sing in japanese. Nothing to complain in here, their pronunciation was good but the lyrics timing didn’t seem to match the song. Valkyrie had a better japanese version then Twilight... I loved the two new songs we got too.

(Bless the person who putted Korean and Japenese side to side, I saved the video on that huge playlist)

Also, can we appreciate how well Oneus and Twilight was received in Japan? They went to national television, topped Oricon AND Billboard Japan. Tower Records was EMPTY on the first day and they promoted for almost a whole month with shows. Japan basically adoped Oneus.

But nothing is flowers. It’s was extreamly difficult to buy this single online outside japan.LET ME TELL YOU. CD japan? Nothing, Amazon japan? Nothing, Yahoo Japan? Nothing. Rakuten? Nothing, YesAsia? NOTHING. THE ONLY PLACE I COULD FIND TO BUY THIS ONLINE IS TOWER RECORDS OFFICIAL WEBSITE WITCH GUESS WHAT IT IS IN JAPANESE. AND TO BUY OUTSIDE JAPAN YOU DON’T BUY FROM THEIR WEBSITE. IT’S FROM ANOTHER WEBSITE WITCH TOWER RECORDS THEMSELFS PUTED THE LINK IN THOSE HUGE ASS BANNERS IN THEIR WEBSITE. Summary it was  literally giving birth to buy this online.

I tought I could rest BUT NOT. They would attend Soribada Music Awards... THEIR FIRST AWARD SHOW. Look I love Valkyrie... but I want Twilight to be performed and I WANT FASHION OK. I’m full of expetations, do not disappoint me Oneus. The day of the award show came and well... I was actually disappointed. Simple suits and the performance clothes? They repeated one of the worst weapons in their closets. C’mon... if you are going to repeat you have better choices IT’S NO EXCUSE... that’s the summary...

Well, from now I have covered everything... Don’t sleep in Keonhee vocals, Oneus has TWO MAIN VOCALS, appreciate Woongie vocals, that’s it.

If y’all want in my research I have build a really small database of Woongie earings in this comeback, maybe in the future I can do a compilation.

And that’s the end… if you got here congratulations you are a warrior and me too for the hours of links, print screens and editions… Byeee