#but like i have food allergies and it was like damn what would have happened if like hazelnut syrup accidentally got used

[ghostbsuter]

This is the fourth time damian brought the college student over.

Damian, despite being 14, has been accepted to a gifted school as he had already been taught in the most subjects one usually learns at a slower pace.

(He still gets a headache over the fact his son won't get a normal childhood.)

Which is how he befriended the 17 year old Daniel, an overworked and sleepdeprived college student, getting dragged along and following with no complaint.

Bruce is, even if he wanted damian to befriend someone more around his own age, very welcoming of the student.

Alfred made sure the boy took enough food with him home, always leaving the mansion at point 4 pm.

It really shouldn't have been surprising when Bruce Wayne, yes, THE Brucie Wayne, summoned him to his office.

Danny entered the room fidgeting, giving a nervous smile to the man behind the desk and questioning what he did wrong to offend the patriarch of the family.

(Lies and slander, we, the readers, are fully aware that Alfred is the patriarch.)

"Uh— hi, Mr. Wayne." He sat when gestured to the chair, shitting bricks with how nervous he's.

The man nods in greeting, smiling. "Hello Danny–"

"Please don't kill me!" The teen in question blurts out, flushing in embarrassment once registered.

Taken aback and startled, Bruce snorts, stifling laughter by putting a hand against his mouth.

Shit.

"I don't know what I did! Very sorry if I offended someone!" He rambles, panicking and waving his hands around.

"Danny—"

"I must have done something! Why else would you call me? Oh god– I'm gonna be murdered by THE Brucie Wayne!"

At this point, the rich guy in front of him is barely restraining himself from laughing, trying his best to stay professional.

"Danny–! I- I won't murder you." He reassured, eyes crinkling from smiling.

"But–" he sniffs, both embarrassed and teary.

"I'm not gonna— danny." Bruce sighs, which sounds a lot like a choke, really. "Look, I just wanted a 1-on-1 talk with you about your friendship with damian and some concerns."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh."

Danny sighs in relief at this. "I can do some good old interrogation–" "it's not an interrogation–" "totally interrogation."

He huffs lightly, getting comfortable in his chair and preparing himself mentally.

"Alright Mr. Wayne! Shoot me!"

(Was that a pun? A joke to murder? Really?)

The man clears his throat, straightens his back and looks serious as he was before the accusations of murder.

"What are your intentions with damian and why become friends in the first place?"

Blinking, the teen brightens. "Oh, that's easy! Damian needs a friend. We just kinda clicked after I scared away a few pesky bullies."

Then he shrugs. "Besides, it's great training."

"Training?" Bruce asks, curious, tone light in the way that shows he's very interested.

"Yes. Despite his badly hidden murderous tendencies, love for knives, and slight lack of slang language and knowledge, he's still a kid." He nods.

"A young teen that goes through teen stuff that I barely remember going through and now get to relearn will be handy once Ellie becomes a teenager herself."

Batman was filing the information away, but Bruce kept going.

"Ellie?" He questions.

"My daughter– has damian not mentioned her? We always leave around 4 to get her from my sister. Sometimes, dami stays over for a few hours!"

Ah. Well. Seems like Alfred will have to make more food for the teen now.

"Would you like to stay for dinner today?" He asks, "Bring your daughter too. We won't mind you joining us." smiling and already planning for the new adjustments to make.

"On another note, what are your and your daughters preferences? Any allergies?"

Danny didn't even agree yet, not that he was gonna— mind you.

"No allergies, soft foods only, easy to eat." He answers, listing the stuff from the top of his head.

In a whirlwind of– of planning dinner?? Danny is out of the door and wide eyed.

"What just happened?"

(On the other side, Bruce face-palms, having forgotten to ask what age Ellie is. Damn in Bruce.)

—

On the fifth visit, Danny stayed for dinner.

Damian must know the age, for there are bowls with freshly cut fruits, yoghurt, and rice mixed with veggies and chicken.

On that note, where is damian?

Dick meets his eyes, asking the same quetsion with a look.

Just as Bruce was gonna ask, the door opened, and the cutest picture to ever exist was created.

(Dick RIPPED his phone out of his pocket, swiping a picture of the scene as fast as possible.)

Steph can't hold back the coos at the sight of Damian walking with a toddler into the dining room, her tiny feet propped up on his and in hand together.

She's wearing a Robin onesie and he is wearing his (stolen) Nightwing hoodie.

"Sorry, hope we aren't late!" Danny waves with a grin from behind the pair.

"You aren't, just perfect, in fact." Bruce reassures, waving the teens over to the free seats.

Damian leads the two to his seat, making sure they're next to him.

The conversation during dinner is one spoken fondly, Cass likes to make Ellie laugh with silly faces, Duke and Steph "secretly" feed her tiny pieces of strawberry and Dick is in a rather passionate discussion with both Tim and Danny.

Damian, once he makes sure no one is watching him, wipes the mess from Ellies face.

(Bruce was watching, looking away once damians face snapped to him. He wasn't aware his youngest had such a soft spot for toddlers.)

(It takes a while, but Danny and Ellie become family like every other person, while having not slept over yet, Alfred already has prepared a room for the two in the Family wing.)

(It's barely a week after that everyone bought and gifted him onesie's of their hero personas, with the excuse of them being the gotham vigilantes when questioned. After all, the Robin can't be a one man team.)

—

The Nightwing and his Robin.

[midnightcinderella]

People who would suffer at NRC

Each dorm has at least one of these students and god help them. This is very self-indulgent and each trait applies to me. If you relate, then rip to the both of us.

No proof-reading, we rawdog this shit. Word count: ~1300 Notes: no gendered pronouns for reader. mentions of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. mentions of illness. no romantic relationships

Heartslabyul

People with ADHD. Rip to us fr.

You'd forget at least a handful of rules a day, but it's really not your fault. Riddle better get off your case istg.

The ones who are more devoted to remaining productive make big colorful signs all over the damn place.

In their own rooms would be stuff like a box that says "keys and wallet go here" or a sign by the door with a checklist of what they need before they go, like homework or textbooks.

There are signs in common areas, too. They'll say stuff like curfew times or reminders of jobs that need to be done around the dorm.

There's always backlash if Riddle tries to take them down for being an eyesore because not only do they help ADHD students remember what needs to be done but students without ADHD, too. No sane person is gonna be thinking about feeding flamingos 24/7.

Savanaclaw

People with asthma. Place is dusty as shit. And hot. And humid at times.

I'm surprised the beastman students haven't taken any measure to seal off the inside of the dorm to prevent and from getting in. Guess everyone doesn't mind inhaling dust straight into their lungs.

Not to mention regular exercise is a dorm-wide tradition. Shoutout to my fellow mile walkers <3

If you have asthma and a dander/dust allergy, I'd just drop out tbh.

People who easily overheat/sweat. Double rip to us.

Get ready to go back and forth with your dormmates about smelling bad after sweating. It's a common occurrence. Someone sasses you, you sass back, and you're friends again 3 minutes later.

Everyone will think you're dying when you're dripping sweat after some stretches outside. No, you're not tired, you're just hot.

Octavinelle

People who are bad at math/bad with money. Listen.

The dorm isn't full of people who are as business minded as Azul, but there are students that offer accounting help for a fee. Negotiate that fee for the love of god.

Thankfully, you won't be scammed out of house and home because:

(1) it's generally frowned upon to scam people within Octavinelle; you don't hurt one of your own. It's about loyalty.

(2) someone is likely to take pity on you and will throw you a bone, telling you about a huge sale or where to find good job opportunities.

People who are gullible. Once again, double rip.

And once again, thank the lucky stars that loyalty is such a big thing here so you might be tricked into doing someone's job for them like mopping the Lounge, but nothing that would hurt you too badly.

If a study partner tries to feed you false information for shiggles, that'll get shut down real quick by another student. If your grades go down, then the whole dorm goes with you.

Good thing that doesn't happen often, and Azul offers his study guides for a highly discounted price to his own.

Scarabia

People who don't do well with sudden changes in temperature. Man, listen.

Hellishly hot during the day and even more hellishly cold at night. Dante would be thrilled.

God forbid you have any athletic activities close to sunset because you'll have to shower off that sweat quick before you freeze to death.

If anyone has a problem with the sound of the hairdryer after sundown, they're just gonna have to deal with it or risk catching your inevitable cold.

Speaking of, if sudden changes in temperature make you sick, double rip. I know your pain.

Kalim may not be able to come see you in person, but if he finds out you're sick, he'll send meds and some warm food. If that food was made by Jamil, then you owe him one.

You don't wanna owe him one.

If you need to leave your room after sundown, you're going to do it wrapped up with a blanket over your head. If someone mistakes you for a ghoul, that's their own problem.

Pomefiore

People with depression. Listen. Someone without depression could find it hard to keep such a strict regimen day in and day out; do not expect too much out of us.

If you think that means you're getting out of it, though, you'd be wrong.

Group accountability is a thing here. If you need help sticking to your routine, you're getting it. You can't refuse.

You're all going to be beautiful together, goddammit.

If that chronic fatigue be hittin ya, you might get a pass for a few steps of your routine. But if a particularly caring dormmate decides you have to do the full routine and straight up does it for you, lol.

Depending on how you view that sort of help, it might be really nice. Or maybe a little humiliating.

The dorm kitchen is only going to have healthy ready-made snacks. So if it's a day where you can't cook or go all the way to the cafeteria, that is what you're working with. Either that or you crawl your way over the the Shop for a candy bar.

Ignihyde

People who struggle with technology. Yes there are young people who aren't great with technology. We exist. Mind your business.

No matter how many classes you take teaching you how to use MagExcel, it never sticks for long. Even if you pass the exams, all your knowledge leaves to go buy milk by the time the week is over.

You're gonna need to interrupt people's gaming sessions to ask for help. It may annoy them, but you're doing it anyway because you refuse the reinvent the wheel 12 times.

People who prefer paper over screens. Call me old fashioned but staring at screens all day Hurts My Eyes.

You'd get physical copies of your textbooks if you could, but those free pdfs your classmates pass around are too tempting to pass up. They're free, for god's sake.

You also might be limited to board games on game nights. They're not bad, but there's not a whole lot you can do with them. You're a wiz at Cards Against Reality tho.

Every so often Ignihyde has a dorm-wide game night where everyone sits around in the common room with their headphones in, playing their own games. Together.

Though the board game players are in the next room. Oddly enough, they're the rowdiest of the bunch, and it sounds like they have the most fun by the way they're yelling and cheering.

You have seen some nerd fights start over a game of Ichi.

Diasomnia

People who have anxiety. One, Lilia is a menace. Two, your housewarden is the Malleus Draconia. Meep.

Whether it's Lilia or Malleus you run into, it feels like your heart will explode at any time.

Not to mention it's so dark in and outside of the building for no good reason. What's a fella gotta do to get some fucking sunlight in here? You're sick of worrying about what could be behind every corner.

You once wondered if Malleus needed a UV/heat lamp, but knew better than to ask. That doesn't mean you're not curious, though.

People who dislike loud sounds. I don't think I have to explain this one.

At first you thought that staying near Silver meant that you'd be staying away from Sebek, but that wasn't the case and you were at a loss as to what to do.

Then you tried going in the other direction whenever you saw Malleus, but all that did was send Sebek after you personally, asking very loudly why you did not want to be around Lord Malleus.

At one point, you got sick of his shit and muzzled him via magic. Then Malleus showed up and you were all oh shit. But then all he did was chuckle about how you were getting along so well. You took that to mean he wouldn't ever stop you from muzzling Sebek.

You were right.

[buckyalpine]

Here is a list of things that make me mad in no particular order. Angry ranting. Pls ignore this, I'm just screaming into the void. These example apply to very specific situations I've encountered with people who are perfectly capable of doing better.

People who lack common sense. Social awareness. Common courtesy. Saying "Oh my God, I'd never do that" when they've never been even close to said situation but they're now experts on how they'd act while sitting on their pristine Thoroughbred horse, sipping on English tea with their pink so high it may as well be in their nose.

People who say "Well I wouldn't care if it happened to me" or "I'm just being honest" when you point out something they did/said.

When autocorrect/spellcheck decides it cannot for the life of it figure out what you're trying to spell OR it gives you suggestions for every word under the sun except the one you want. All you did was leave out a single letter with the rest of it spelled perfectly and spellcheck decides to go into a coma. So you fix the mistake and the little squiggly red line goes away. Fuck you.

Gnats. WTF is you're problem. I've Googled this shit cause I want to know why tf you can't just fly straight, why do you have to buzz all over the damn place near my head of all places.

Flies. Same thing as above. Why tf can't you just fly straight. WHY NEAR MY EAR. You have the entire world and you decided my room is the place to be? And now we're both miserable because you keep hitting yourself against the window after noticing your grave mistake. I leave the door wide open but you want to keep body slamming the glass.

Giving me life advice on something you know nothing about.

People who don't love their pets. Yeah, you take care of them but you do it as a chore and then complain about it. Those little fur babies deserve it all, give them the best or don't have pets at all.

Holier than thou attitude.

People who laugh at those who are visibly upset and tell them they're being too sensitive.

Allergies. IDK Why tf my body acts surprised as hell every single spring. It's just fucking pollen. Why are you trying to fight it. Do you understand that in your brilliant plan to try and fight the little evaders you actually make me want to end it all because my nose is itching and my eyes are watering and I can't breathe. Food allergies are another level of bullshit. I'll never forget the day this one girl tells me she wished she had allergies? Like it makes you special, mf what??? She was being serious too.

Thin, straight, fine black hair. Can't do anything with it. It doesn't hold hairstyles, doesn't curly, gets heavy as soon as you use any product and 90% of the time it just looks like Snape cosplay. Ask me how I know

Parents who buy their very young children shoes with laces. This is inconvenient for all of us. why tf would you do this when Velcro exists. Your 4 year old doesn't need laces when they have no clue how to even eat cheese with their crackers, mf why did you buy this shoe for them?!

Bananas. Hate them with a burning passion. The smell. The texture. I hate the peel is left out and about like it isn't making the entire room smell. Don't even get me started on banana breath. (Keep in mind this is not me saying I think they're gross. I wish I liked them because they're a super convenient snack and very healthy)

People who lie and say you can't taste the banana in a smoothie. Yes, I can. You always can. You can have 1000lbs of any fruits and that single banana will still stand out.

People who don't understand mental illness/ act ignorantly to those suffering.

Big companies who ask you to donate to stuff. You're going to use this as a tax write off, stfu.

Inflation.

People who laugh at others for not knowing something. Maybe that thing had 0 relevance to their life. Maybe they learned about that because they were taught something else. Either way, how is it funny.

People who laugh at those learning a new language. You're the fucking worst. They are LEARNING. Let them get used to the pronunciation, let them get accustomed to sentence structures, let them make mistakes without being embarrassed. You're the embarrassing one cackling you're damn ass off while they're trying to do something new. You're discouraging them from wanting to continue because you feel the need to be an asshole.

People who make everything a serious debate/conversation.

People who steal. Not out of necessity but just because they can. I'll never forget overhearing this group of kids in my high school bragging and laughing their asses off over how much candy they stole from other kids. They also stole phones. These were not troubled kids mind you, they were doing this for shits and giggles.

Eczema. So fucking itchy, why can't skin just act right. It feels awful, looks awful and just comes and goes as it pleases.

People who clown you for who you find attractive. Why. If I find this person attractive, what in the ever loving flying fuck does it have to do with you. It's just so unnecessarily rude. I don't even get how its funny or why you find it okay to call someone ugly as if this is something they personally have control over.

I'm going to add more to this list.

[slightlyunconventional]

its 2am and op needs sleep (2.1k)

hi d/abihawks nation here is your food for the day (more to come in the foreseeable) aaand yeah. this is from an ask i got that i didn’t answer with this because it had three parts to it and i wanted to actually do all three ?? idk. anyway if youre the anon who asked for d/abi inducing with his piercings then this is for you :)

The fuck kind of time to wake up is this? Dabi thought, squinting at the digital alarm clock beside the bed. 4:16AM, it reads. Still dazed, he rolled over with a huff and got ready to go the fuck back to sleep - until it hit him.

“Jesus fucking Christ-” he hissed, as an itch that felt like wildfire crashed into his sinuses like a freight train, rendering him unable to form a coherent thought for a good few seconds. He sat up. The motion somehow made the burn triple in intensity. He scrunched up his nose forcefully, waiting for it to succumb, for the itch to peak, but it didn’t. It felt like it was taking over his entire face, an incessant buzzing that wouldn’t back down, half-closing his eyes and forcing him to keep his nose held in a permanently-crinkled position. Dabi dared to rub at it, knuckles pushing back and forth rather aggressively, and instantly regretted what he’d done. The contact seemed to set alight a million different nerve endings, and he decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck me,” Dabi managed to breathe out. He stood up and made his way to the bathroom, the whole way squinting against the inferno plaguing his nose. The burn was near unbearable now, like flames licking at the tender inner walls of his nostrils, yet still nothing came of it. Even switching on the horrendously bright bathroom light in Hawks’ apartment, which usually managed to tease a sneeze or two from him, had no effect. Christ, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Eyes narrowing further due to the harsh transition from dark to light, Dabi moved to the sink and turned on the faucet. With a deep breath in, he splashed the cold water on his face a few times, and gave his full face a rather aggressive scrub with both hands for good measure. He stood up to find it had done absolutely nothing, and now he just had a wet face. Awesome. Why, for the love of fuck, was this happening? he thought in frustration. Could it have picked a more inconvenient time?

He grabbed a towel and dried off his face, rubbing with particular force at his nose (though still keeping low expectations that it would actually make a damn difference). The itch burned with ferocity, but remained stagnant; Dabi just wished it would either do something or piss off. For a man who normally despised sneezing - everything about it, the feeling, the loss of control, the vulnerability of it all - he seemed pretty desperate to do it now. He was running out of options, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to go wake up Hawks and make him stick a feather up his nose. There was probably a box of tissues in here, somewhere, he was sure, judging by how awful Hawks’ allergies got in the spring… bingo. It didn’t take long to find, just a few moments of staring into the medicine cupboard with one hand knuckling absently at the side of his nose. The dark-haired man pulled a few from the box, irritated, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. The ever-present itch had his nostrils practically pulsing with need, and a handful of tissues suddenly pushed up to his nose really didn’t help. Hell, it was almost stinging now, and it was torturous.

“Shit,” Dabi breathed, as he began to rub his nose in slow, deliberate circles through the tissues. The sensation was all-consuming - he became completely laser-focused on the way the itch prickled ever so slightly with his movements. It was like the light at the end of a tunnel. He just had to will it to rise in intensity, just enough to make him– “...h-hhuh!” His breath caught, even if only slightly. Fuck, he was close, so damn close. In his mind he was begging for it, for relief, and he daren’t even move, for fear of losing the– damn it. The sting backed down just as quickly as it had come about, forcing Dabi to let out the breath he was holding in a short, irritated sigh. He couldn’t just go back to bed, not while this itch was still wreaking havoc in his face. But, it wasn’t like he had many choices left. The only thing he knew that really set him off was cats, and he was fairly sure bathrooms didn’t come preinstalled with a litter of kittens. Stubborn as ever, he refused to just give up and go sleep again - but what could he really do? Sit and wait it out, hoping it would just go away? Or go back to trying to make himself- hold on. Dabi suddenly remembered the absolute mess he’d been when he first pierced his nose (in this very bathroom, as a matter of fact). The needle had hardly been halfway through the cartilage before his chest was stuttering with rapid hitching breaths that had very quickly turned into fits of desperately itchy (and bloody) sneezes, untameable to the point where he had no input in the, well, output. He’d simply had to sit and let them barrel through him in awful tickly waves. He didn’t know why he’d sat through three rounds of that just for a triple nose piercing. One would have been plenty. 

Dabi pushed himself up from the edge of the bath, binned his tissues, and moved back to the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, running a tired hand over his face and sighing. His hand brushed lightly against the side of his nose, sending jolts up his sinuses, and he decided he couldn’t tolerate another second of such torment. The thought to pierce his nose again flitted briefly through Dabi’s mind, but was quickly dismissed. Imagine how that would go down. “Hey, you’ve got another piercing,” Hawks would say. “Oh, yeah, I had to sneeze really fucking badly last night so I did what any sane person would do - gave myself a fourth nose piercing!” Dabi rolled his eyes at the thought. He went for the next best thing - messing around with his current piercings to try and make something happen.

He leaned in closer to the bathroom mirror, well aware that he looked an absolute sight for sore eyes, red-rimmed nostrils and an oversized t-shirt hanging awkwardly around his frame proving an… interesting combination. Christ, what am I doing, he thought, as he took a silver stud between his fingers and began to twist it - and, hell, the effect was instantaneous. Immediately, the tickle reared its head, intensified tenfold from before, and all but consumed him. There was nothing he could do to stop his jaw from slackening, his eyes from fluttering shut, his nostrils from flaring to nearly twice their size– “Shit, shit, s-shiihh–!”

Breaths rising in his chest, pitchy and desperate, Dabi let out a string of curses and stumbled backward, almost losing his balance as the need to sneeze took over him such that he couldn’t possibly think about anything else. He braced a hand against the edge of the sink to keep upright, drew in an immense gasp, and pitched forward at the waist– “hh’hhahH’DDSHHhhew! Hohhh, God, fuck me…” The sneeze that followed was harsh, scraping, and instantly relieving. But Dabi soon found that he was nowhere near done, and snapped forward with a trio of back-to-back sneezes, equally intense as the first.

“huhH’HDJJSHHh! ‘gGKSHHh’uh! hah’DSHHh’iew!” He straightened up to try and catch his breath, but his nose tingled in a way which meant there was guaranteed to be more sneezing to come. He was about to cast his gaze up to the light fixture on the ceiling to try and coax it out prematurely, until he saw a glimpse of red in his peripheral vision - Hawks. Shit. How long had he been standing there? Dabi looked at him, unsure of what to say. The hero was sure to have a barrage of questions for him, he could already imagine it: Are you getting sick? Allergic to something? Oh my god–is it me? Did I use a new… something? I’m so sorry, are you okay? He was leaning on the doorframe in a loose-fitting shirt that Dabi had sacrificed (cut holes in the back of to accommodate Hawks’ wings) and wearing an expression that was a blend of sympathy and amusement. Dabi opened his mouth to speak.

“Bless you,” Hawks said, with a lopsided smile, before Dabi had the chance to say anything.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean t-to… wake you up,” he replied. Fuck, he still needed to sneeze.

Hawks exhaled a little laugh. “It’s okay. You were sneezing pretty damn loudly, it would have been hard not to.” He took a few steps forward and wrapped his hands around Dabi’s arm, absentmindedly rubbing tiny circles with his thumbs.

“Are you okay?” he asked, more of that sympathy now shining through. As predicted, questions. “Yeah, I– fuck, I-I, hhah– needtosneezeagaiihHGKSHHhew!” He sniffled, then used his free hand to rub his nose, hard. “No idea what it is, just… started.” At least it was partially true. He did have no idea what it was, but he wasn’t about to admit to Hawks that he’d actually been trying to make himself sneeze for the best part of half an hour. Hawks frowned. “Bless you,” he said again. “You aren’t sick? A cold, maybe?” There it was again. “No, dumbass, it’s May.” “Who says you can’t get colds when it’s not winter? I get colds when it’s not winter!” Hawks said indignantly. Dabi huffed a laugh. “Yeah, that’s you though. Your immune system’s shi-sh-hhahH’dDTSHHh’uh! Shit.” “Shut up,” Hawks said, swatting his arm. “Sounds pretty itchy.” Dabi pulled a face at that. “Sounds itchy? How can– how– Jesus, fuck, always when I’m trying to t-talk…” “Bless you-!” Hawks said prematurely, tipping his head to the side. “-hhHRRSHHHhew!” The smile on Hawks’ face widened. God, Dabi had thought this would just be one and done, but now he couldn’t seem to stop. It was as if he’d opened some metaphorical floodgates in his sinuses just by twisting his nose studs a bit, and released sneeze after terribly violent sneeze. It would be infinitely easier to deal with without his overly enthusiastic witness, that was for certain. He couldn’t say it wasn’t at least a little endearing, though, in some bizarre way. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sneeze this much before,” observed Hawks, in such a tone that made the statement sound like it was some earth shattering discovery (It wasn’t. Dabi was eternally thankful that Hawks had never bore witness to the explosive fits he got when cats were part of the equation).

From behind the hand scrubbing at his still-burning nose, Dabi raised an eyebrow. “Right…?” he said slowly, “Is that supposed to h-hah–!” This was getting ridiculous. He pinched his nose tightly, brows furrowed and eyes nearly shut. Absolutely not. “There’s no point holding it in now that I’m awake, you know,” Hawks said, a mildly teasing tone creeping into his voice. “Just wanna get a full f-fucking… hhuh– sentence out-! hh’ehHDSZZHhew! h-hhH’RSCHhh’uh!” “Bless you, bless you,” Hawks moved closer towards Dabi, evidently starting to feel drowsy again after having been out of bed, judging by the way he rubbed lazily at his eyes with one hand. “What were you gonna say?” “What?” “Before you sneezed again. What were you gonna say?” Dabi averted his eyes. “I don’t remember.” Hawks snickered quietly. “S’okay… you gonna come back to bed? I’m getting cold,” he said, his head now resting on Dabi’s arm. “Not your personal heater,” was the response, punctuated with an irritated sniffle. Hawks shook his head. “Whatever.”

“Even so, I don’t think you’d really want, well…” Dabi gestured vaguely at his face. He didn’t particularly want to say it out loud. “I don’t mind,” the hero replied softly, “I just want you to get some sleep. Besides, the pink nose is a cute look on you.” He added the last part with a wink, and it earned him a rather affronted scoff and a flick to the forehead. “Fine, let me just–” Dabi pulled a couple of tissues from the box and blew his nose with some force. It seemed to shift something high in his sinuses, which of course triggered a sneeze. The floodgates really had opened. “hh’hehHDDSHHhiew! Jesus Christ, can’t catch a break…” Hawks hummed. “Bless you,” he mumbled again, before starting to lead Dabi out of the bathroom and back to their bed. He paused, however, halfway to the door, and turned around. With a nod towards the tissue box on the counter, he said, “You’d better bring those with you.”

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons plus little bonus part 2 electric boogaloo

After Nimona found out about Ambrosius' allergies they demanded to test every single meal he eats 

They’ll take the plate away from him and have a test bite and only after they deem it “safe” will they let him eat it

Doesn’t matter if they're out eating or at home she does this every time 

He can literally say “Nim Bal made this for me it’s not gonna have anything I’m allergic to” and she’ll respond with “You don’t know that he could finally be sick of you and the only thing saving you is me” 

Ambrosius and Bal will share literally everything they eat 

Whenever they go out they’ll usually order something they know they’ll both like 

And if they know the other one is between two options they’ll just order one of the options and share both meals 

It’s a pretty normal thing that they’ve been doing since they were kids so they don’t even question it anymore 

Nimona jokingly calls it sickening as she steals food off their plates 

No one in the trio is neurotypical 

Bal is autistic Ambrosius has ADHD Nimona is a mix of both

Talking to these dorks is absolute hell

It’s kind of like the interrogation scene except it’s not one topic 

They often get sidetracked and lose the plot of the conversation 

They’ll have 10 different conversations at once and only finish like 5

Bal forgets a whole bunch of shit because he has long-term brain damage and Nimona and Ambrosius forget shit cause of the ADHD 

It’s not uncommon for someone to say “Hey remind me to” and then they’ll be cut off by the other person who just says “You know I won’t remember that just put a reminder in your phone” 

Their house is covered to the brim in sticky notes and random pieces of paper for reminders 

The grocery list is on the front door the chore list is in the kitchen and random little tasks are scattered around the house 

When Nimona doesn’t want to do something he’ll just erase his name from that task

He fooled the boys for a while but Bal started keeping score of who did what and when and called his sneaky ass out 

Little bonus part 2 electric boogaloo: this time it’s my sister and my mama and my sister also was acting like I was killing her firstborn not asking her to watch a movie 

Me: “look mama it’s the siblings” my sister: “but they’re gay” me: “yeah but people thought they were siblings” my sister: “if you ever look at me like that I’m calling the cops” (the scene on the catwalk) 

“Yeah you better cheer” (when Bal was getting knighted)

“I knew something was wrong with the sword” “So did Bal” “Yeah but I knew first”

Apparently both my Mama and my sister didn’t know that Ambrosius cut off Bal’s arm so I got to see both of their reactions 

This was my Mama’s “damn what happened to being a lover not a fighter” “he’s a knight Mama” “Who cares!!” 

This was my sister's “Wow really took the whole arm huh?” “That’s how they were trained” “And?” 

My mama was talking to my sister when Nimona met Bal “Who does that remind you of?” “Roo” “Exactly”

 “Oh look it’s tiny dick!” (Talking about Todd) 

“What a fucking bitch” (when she found out the director swapped the sword) 

This was when Bal and Ambrosius were fighting Me: “Is there anything gayer than having an argument in the middle of a sword fight” My mama: “They’ll fight with their other swords later” 

“Who fucking asked” “bla bla bla I’m a racist bitch” (when the Director went on her monologue in the office)

She saw Ambrosius’ username and laughed for like two minutes straight

After the sword fight my sister would pretend like Bal and Ambrosius were making out every time they were on screen together 

“Because I love you *making out noises*” at the tavern 

“Oh there’s their third wheel (Todd)” “Nah he’s racist as fuck” “Who isn’t in the institute?”

When Ambrosius tried to stop the director she said this is what he meant “No you can’t set off the laser that’s my kid!” (She believes the trio is a family too) 

“Awe they’re hugging *more making out noises*” 

She called it cute in the end and I made fun of her for bitching about it

I asked my sister who her favorite is and she says “what’s his name balls?” I started cackling my ass off and she goes “I’m joking I know his name is Ballister and he’s still my favorite”

[alpimerealmsystem]

You Can Recover

ED recovery is the best thing I've ever done. I've struggled with orthorexia and then anorexia almost my entire life, it only got severe about a year ago though. About 4 months ago my best friend and honorary sibling more or less forced me to recover. It's been a long journey to say the least. 

When I started recovery I thought I'd never be able to go back to eating normally. My brain would always be running as a calculator. It still is, I can tell you a rough estimate of how many calories I've eaten today and tell you how many cups of cereal is in a bowl because I've measured my food so many times. It still hurts, but now? I'm not obsessively looking for calorie menus of places, and if I can't find one I'm not trying to calculate every thing that went into it.

ED recovery has been one of the most mentally challenging things I've put myself through, but my life has improved so much. Here are some of my favorite things about recovery

I just went to a family dinner and didn't make all the food because I needed to know the calories (still had to make some cause food allergies but y'know)

Choosing the foods I like, not the healthy or low cal versions

CARBS CARBS CARBS (speaks for itself)

I'm not a bitch cause I'm hungry all the time

My periods? They're regular now, I'm not skipping four months at a time (tmi BUT DAMN)

I'm not lightheaded cause I didn't eat and my vision isn't blurring because I didn't eat LIKE THATS AMAZING

SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR

Eating when I want, not what the clock says

I have gone 2-3 weeks without weighing myself (I EVEN LOST TRACK WHICH IS A HUGE DEAL) AND I DONT PLAN TO WEIGH MYSELF TOMORROW

The number on the scale doesn't equal my happiness, I am not mad because I gained 0.2 pounds

I've gained 20 pounds BUT IM HAPPIER WITH MY BODY I love my squishy stomach and back rolls and cellulite and chonky face because it means I am not starving

I don't feel worthless because I'm "too heavy" or "not pretty"

I don't have to buy new clothes every two weeks because my old ones were way to big <3

I'm no longer trying to make sure others see me eat so they don't worry

KEEPING MY STUPID ED BLOG A SECRET (god glad those days are over)

And so much more. Recovery is possible. Recovery is the best thing that happened to me. I know you may be struggling, but it gets better. Everything's not hopeless, even if it feels like it is. Feel free to DM me if you need support or send an ask ^^

I love you, for everything you think is a flaw, for everything you hate about yourself, no matter what it is.

[magicalgirlmascot]

Headcanon that Tahu's first love language that will click with Kopaka in KNPS is food.

Just Tahu cooking for all of the Toa Mata, taking into account their food allergies and preferences and the like. Kopaka's flabbergasted when he calls him into the kitchen. He's doubted Tahu would be able to make anything for him or would play a prank or something. So now he has to watch him cook for him, which is. Surreal because the only person who still cooks for him is his Nana.

And Kopaka can't claim any of his previous thoughts because Tahu is cooking with all of his food allergies in mind? He can eat that?? And it smells good???

Tahu, meanwhile, is like, I still hate (suuuure) this asshole but like hell am I letting him starve. He's a beanpole. He needs more weight. Fuck, how often does he actually eat school and how much? Better make several servings that he takes home.

Tahu: fuck this guy but also if I feed everyone else and not him that's gonna look bad. What does he want, potatoes? Fine I'll make him some fucking potatoes or whatever, and these are going to be the best damn potatoes he's ever eaten in his life goddamnit

Kopaka: ??????????? what is HAPPENING

Kopaka doesn't want to give out a list of the things he can't have to Tahu, of all people, but Tahu is very invested in Not Accidentally Sending His Coworker Into Anaphylactic Shock, so he finally gets a list of things that are safe to eat out of him and throws together some fried potatoes and kielbasa. Some green onions in there for flavour. He complains the whole time that it would be better with garlic and eggs and it needs more salt but WHATEVER it's Kopaka’s meal.

And Kopaka watches this man he dislikes bang around the kitchen making sure no one goes hungry on his watch, complaining about everyone else's taste in food but still following their needs and tastes to the letter, and understands a little more why Pohatu is friends with him.

(There is a scene I was working on today that is very similar to this and I love it so much...would it be okay if I incorporated it into the fic?)

[sliceofcake-cupoftea]

Allergies, Allergies, Allergies

Headcanons: What if High and Low characters had allergies? And who?

Character(s): S.W.O.R.D

Warning(s): Mature Content (for White Rascals and Sannoh)

Note: Due to the fact I have been unexpectationally swarmed with assignments for finals that have stopped me from finishing my oneshots and requests as well as the fact my pollen allergy has been acting up as the weather grows warmer, I decided to strew together a funny Headcanon for everyone to enjoy until I am back. Enjoy!

Takeshi – Rude Boys

If anyone in the rude boys had an allergy, it would be Takeshi.

I’m not sure what it is that makes me feel this way but it's just that face of his.

Anyways, I imagine it just happened one day when he was with the boys. They were likely passing around food that they found and were sharing it.

A bit of the usual fish, seafood, and jerky scraps but also some lucky finds like rice, dried fruits and–

Peanut butter. 

“H’y Tak’shi,” P says, his mouth sticky from a scoop of peanut butter Shion just fed him; watching as his friend attempts to wrestle the bag of jerky out of Yu’s greedy hands, “Y’u nee’ to try th’s stuff.”

“In… One– Sec–” Takeshi grunts as he reaches over Yu’s shoulder, some of the other boys helping Takeshi by pinning Yu’s legs down. However, ever the so slippery snake he was, Yu quickly escapes their grasps and attempts to flee again, “Come back here, Fatass!”

With one last huff as some of the other boys quickly chase after the youngest member, Takeshi takes a seat down on the ground next to P and Smokey. Getting handed the spoon with the sticky substance, he pops it into his mouth, “He needs to learn to share. It’s not fair for the rest of us.”

“True,” Shion comments as he scoops a giant glob of the peanut butter with an extra spoon and gestures to their leader to take another bite. And even though Smokey shakes his head in refusal, the other male didn’t seem to be giving up anytime soon. Fully intent on getting their leader to take a bite of the protein and vitamin filled peanut substance, “But he’s new and young. We were all like this when we first started out.” 

“Even you, Takeshi–” As P goes to slap a hand on his friend’s shoulder in a joking manner, he suddenly freezes. P just staring at him with this shocked looked on his face

“Wha–” 

However, Takeshi stops in his words as he suddenly feels how heavy his tongue feels as he speaks. Bringing up a hand to his mouth, he jumps in surprised as he feels his swollen lips, “Wha’ goin’--”

“Takeshi,” Smokey and Shion are instantly by his side as Takeshi feels his words fade away. Suddenly, it feels as if he is looking at the world around him through a tunnel. His vision on the sides slowly fading away as his ears begin to ring. Smokey, P and Shion are yelling something but he can’t hear them. 

What was happening? What was going on?

Then, all of a sudden, the world returns back to normal and Takeshi takes a deep inhale he didn’t know he needed. His vision and hearing return as if nothing had happened and he can feel the swelling in his mouth go down. 

“Hol– Holy crap Takeshi!” P suddenly yells, shaking his friend. Making Takeshi realize he was laying down, his head resting on Shion’s lap. When did he end up here? Actually as Takeshi looks around he sees that Yu and the others had returned, staring at the older member worried, “Did you know you were allergic to peanuts?”

At his friend’s words, Takeshi blinks.

Allergic?

Him?

However as Takeshi’s mind races, going over what he experienced and comparing it to the information he knows, he knows what P said was likely true. Damn, he was allergic to something. That’s a pain.

“You're lucky Yu had an Epipen,” Shion adds, patting his friend on the shoulder as Smokey and P help him into a sitting position. Surprised, Takeshi glances at the youngest member who scratches the back of his head nervously.

“I–” Yu starts, stammering at his words under the gaze of the boys, “I just collected them just in case, you know? I guess you can never be too sure.”

Fishing in his pocket, Yu sticks out a plastic grocery sized bag filled with Epipens, adding under his breath, “You can have them, Takeshi. I don’t actually need them.”

Before Takeshi can say anything, Yu has already dropped the bag in his lap and has run off. Mumbling about it being his time to patrol even though it wasn’t.

“Well,” Smokey chuckles, making Takeshi turn his head in surprise at his leader, “I guess you finally got Yu to share something, Takeshi.”

It was true. Yu had never shared anything up until this point.

Unable to help himself, Takeshi breaks out into a laugh, joining Smokey. All it took was him in a life or death situation to have the youngster to share something. What an idiot.

Dan – Sannoh Rengokai

I’m going to be completely honest. I did this because I thought it would be absolutely hilarious.

Listen

Latex Allergy.

If you know, you know.

Anyways I think compared to Takeshi, Dan definitely knew he had this allergy. He just didn’t want the rest of Sannoh to know. Because, obvious reasons. 

“Are you going home with her?” Tettsu whispers, nudging his friend who for the first time that night was free and that was only because he was grabbing another set of drinks for them. This whole night Tettsu and Chiharu could only watch in shock as Dan was getting flirted with by a girl. That’s right, a girl interested in Dan.

Dan quickly looks behind him, likely to make sure the girl wasn’t watching him, before slapping the back of Tettsu’s head, “Maybe. I’m not forcing anything though.”

“Well,” Chiharu says, sliding in on the other side of Dan as Tettsu rubs the spot Dan hit in pain. Looking around, Chiharu smirks before stuffing something into his pocket and it doesn’t take Dan much to guess exactly what it was, “You’ll probably be needing those.”

“No. No, I won’t.” Dan says back under his breath before pulling out the offending item from his jeans and shoving it in Chiharu’s chest. Not wanting it anywhere near him even though it was wrapped safely in plastic. Swearing he could already feel hives breaking out on his skin even though he probably wasn’t.

“What's your deal, man?” Tettsu murmurs, confused on what got Dan so irritated all of a sudden, “You allergic to wrapping up or something?”

Even though it was supposed to just be a joke, making both Chiharu and Tettsu laugh, they quickly fall silent when they see Dan not joining them.

“No way. Are you actually–” 

“Shut up.” Dan cuts them off as he finally gets handed his drinks, grabbing them quickly as he begins to walk away. Already feeling his ears burn a bright red from the embarrassment dripping from him.

“Wait,” Tettsu quickly stops him, getting in his way from walking forward back to his table. Making Dan’s scowl in annoyance grow larger. Chiharu joins them, seeming to watch in interest as Tettsu pulls out his wallet from his back pocket and fishes something out. Quickly sticking it in Dan’s jacket pocket.

This asshole.

Dan feels his hands shake in anger as once again knew what was put in his pocket, “Do you want to get your face punched–”

“Latex-free, bro.” Tettsu says, slapping Dan on the shoulder with a grin and thumbs up. Silencing Dan in his threat as he stares confused and bewildered at his friend. However, Chiharu quickly filled in that silence. More than enough questions for Tettsu.

“Wait, are you also…?” Chiharu asks, seeming caught off guard as he looks back and forth between his two closest friends. For some reason suddenly feeling the one left out from the group.

“No, I got them from SMG,” Tettsu says with a grin, seeming suddenly quite proud of himself as he references the White Rascal subgroup. Though, it only confuses Chiharu and Dan more, “In their words, you can never be too careful. It's not just men allergic to latex.” 

Ah.

At Tettsu’s words, it suddenly clicks for them. Of course, it was the White Rascals. If Dan remembered correctly from his one and only visit, the club had multiple bowls of the items around. Just in case a couple was stuck without a source of protection. Always thinking of the women guests' interests; Always. 

“You got this, Dan.” Chiharu suddenly says, snapping Dan out of his thoughts as his friends slap him on the shoulder before returning back to the bar. All the while Tettsu tells Chiharu how he has been learning from SMG on how to woo a woman correctly. 

Idiots. 

Though Dan can only smile as returns back to his seat.

Agyo – Daruma

Agyo and Ungyo, twins(?) of the Daruma Ikka subgroup: Daruma Babies.

Even though we hardly know anything about these two (as well as a lot of characters of Daruma), I thought it would be interesting if someone in Daruma was allergic to Soy. 

Mostly because Soy can often be found in a lot of traditional Japanese foods.

Ex: Tofu, Edamame, Natto, miso, (occasionally) soy sauce, etc.

While we hardly have any lines or scenes of the two of them, we can infer three facts about them. (1) they are quick to anger and fight like the rest of Daruma, (2) they seem very close as they are hardly ever seen apart (even in fights) and (3) their names are based on two opposite Japanese gods (likely inferring that their personalities are opposites as well). 

Just guessing but because Agyo means one with an open mouth (aka one to speak first or birth), I’m guessing Agyo is more of a talker and the smarter one of the twins (Also because he has glasses and we’ve seen so far in High and Low, anyone with glasses is typically smarter than the others). Then, Ungyo, one with an closed mouth (aka last to speak or death), is likely less of a talker and more likely to use his fists first (Also, even though both of them seem hotheaded, he seems to be the one more interested in picking the fight with Ranmaru than the others when he bumped into the group). 

But once again, this is just me making an educated guess and inferring as we hardly know anything about any of these Daruma boys except Hyuga.

Anyways, back to the Allergy headcanon. I think Agyo would have a soy allergy but wouldn’t tell anyone as he might be prideful and didn’t want to get laughed at. And Ungyo would eat any Soy products that anyone tried to give his brother, to hide Agyo’s secret. 

Of course, this would work out for a while. That is until Ungyo was absent during a hang out and left Agyo by himself.

“Oi, Agyo,” Ukyo calls, taking an inhale of his cigarette before pulling it out of his lips and gesturing to the waiter that was taking their table's order, “What you want?” 

“Ah, I’ll just have some Mori Soba,” Agyo says, handing his menu forward to join the others that had already ordered. Some of them make noises of agreement with his choice, murmuring how it was pretty hot outside and debating if they should get something cold now, “Is it okay if I order something for Ungyo as well?” 

“Sure, just pile it in. Poor asshole probably sick as a dog at home anyways.”

“Alright cool. Can I get a Miso soup to go as well? Thanks.”

As the others in the gang proceed to order, Agyo returns his attention back to his phone; Typing a quick message to his brother to check in. Though as a response quickly comes back, he can only snort. Of course, Ungyo sent an unflattering selfie of himself crouched over the toilet bowl. Only his brother would do something like that. 

Continuing to text his brother, ignoring the occasional yell from Ukyo and Sakyo to get off his phone, the food eventually arrived. Some of the guys cheering as the waiters and waitresses place the plethora of food down. 

Agyo is one of the few that stayed quiet. Breaking open a pair of chopsticks as he chats with Futa. Finally, for the first time that night, relaxing as he knows Ungyo took some Advil and went to bed for the night. 

That is until his bowl was placed down in front of him.

“Oh, Agyo, is something wrong?” Futa asks as he sees his friend freeze when he glances down at his bowl. The other member of the Daruma Babies, Raita, glances from across the table to see what’s up. 

“Aish,” Raita says, as he groans once he sees what’s in the bowl, “So lucky. They gave you extra toppings.”

And extra toppings they did. While Agyo didn’t mind the carrots nor mushrooms in his bowl, it was the offending plethora of aburaage that sent his stomach through a loop. Already imagining the nausea and hives he gets from eating the tofu product, sending his heart pounding with anxiety. Blinking once, twice and finally a third time, Agyo realizes the dish they gave him. Not Mori Soba but Kitsune Soba. Shit, they switched up his order.

Wait.

Agyo’s eyebrows quickly furrowed in confusion as he notices the soup wasn’t steaming. An usual trait in a Kitsune Soba was for it to be hot. Dipping his pointer finger in, he realizes the soup was in fact cold and that it has the Tsuyu dipping sauce on the side. Two characteristics that are usually only found in Mori Soba.

So, they just gave him extra toppings? But why? 

“Oi,” However before Agyo can even attempt to figure out the answer, his bowl is suddenly picked up. He doesn’t even need to turn around to guess who it was as he catches a whiff of cigarettes and weed; Hyuga. 

“His order is wrong,” Hyuga barks as he takes an inhale of his Kiseru. Blowing out a puff of smoke in the waiter’s face before shoving the bowl in his shaking hands. “Redo it.” 

“B-but Sir.” The waiter stutters, some of the soup staining his shirt as it overspills from being handed to him, “The young lady gave the extra toppings as a—“

“I don’t give two shits.” Hyuga spits out, shutting the man up as he takes a step forward. Getting in his face, “Re. Do. It.” 

“Of— of course, Sir. Right- away.” 

As the waiter scampers off, Agyo can only stare in shock. For once in his life, his mouth shut and not a single word planning on leaving his lips. However, the rest of the members had more than enough to say. 

“Ah, Hyuga. Wasn’t that too harsh?” 

“Come on, it’s free stuff. I doubt Agyo was complaining.”

“Oh man, Mad dog Hyuga is off his leash.” 

Though all it takes is Ukyo slamming his fist down on the table and a glare from Sakyo for everyone to quickly shut up. Agyo, one of the few silent ones from the start, can only watch in uneasy silence as Hyuga grabs his plate and takes a seat next to him. 

Sighing and taking another inhale from his Kiseru, Hyuga only raises an eyebrow at Agyo’s stares. 

“Wha’,” Hyuga mumbles, seeming interested in his dumbfounded expression. Slowly, the other members of the group around them go back to their own conversations and meals. Though, Agyo can only keep his eyes trained on his boss as a small smirk makes its way to the male’s lips, “Go ahead try a bite.”

“Oh,” is all Agyo can let out as Hyuga pushes the plate of Sashimi closer in front of him. Although delicious, with the adrenaline still rushing through his body, Agyo had lost his sense of appetite for the time being, “I’m good. Thanks, Boss.”

However, the mischievous dark eyes that stare into his own doesn’t seem to take no for an answer as Hyuga takes another inhale before muttering words that stun Agyo even more silent than before, 

“Eat the fish, Soy boy.” 

Agyo had never reached for a pair of chopsticks faster in his life.

Kizzy – White Rascals

Lovely wonderful Kizzy.

Poor girl is allergic to pollen :(

Of course, Kaito would know about this. He would likely find out when they first started dating.

Though it would take a couple of tries for the rest of the White Rascals to figure it out. 

Especially as Kizzy doesn’t seem like the type to tell them when she isn’t feeling well.

But, when they do. They going to make sure they take Kizzy’s allergy seriously. Like super serious. 

“Hah?” Kizzy shouts, her loud voice causing Kaito to turn away from the pan he was cooking on to look at the direction of the hallway. The young girl, fresh from out of the shower with a towel still wrapped around her body, walks into the kitchen and it doesn’t take another second for Kaito to realize Kizzy was on the phone, “What do you mean I’m not working tomorrow? It’s not my day off! I’m scheduled!”

Confused, his eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, Kaito takes the pan off the burner and walks over to Kizzy. Placing his hands carefully around her waist so as to not surprise her, he leans carefully against his girlfriend. Placing a soft kiss on the back of her shoulder; her skin still slightly damp under his chapped lips.

“Well, I want to work. You can’t just call me off at the last minute!” Kizzy says aggressively once more on the other end, turning herself around so as to face Kaito. Her nose scrunched up in annoyance; a trait that instantly makes Kaito think of how adorable she was. Wanting to smother her in a kiss right then. 

Though, knowing his girlfriend was busy on the phone, Kaito settles for wrapping his arms around her waist and placing soft pecks on Kizzy’s long neck. 

“Do I need to kill someone?” Kaito murmurs as there seems to be a pause in the conversation on the other line. An action that causes Kizzy to snort even though she knows her boyfriend is serious. 

“No.” Kizzy responds, pulling the phone away from her mouth for a moment, “And it's Rocky.”

Of course it is. No wonder she hadn’t already run out the door to kick the person’s ass.

With a humm in acknowledgment as Kizzy returns to arguing with Rocky once more, Kaito resumes placing kisses along his girlfriend’s shoulder blades, chest and neck. Enjoy the brief moment of intimacy between the two. Especially as one of Kizzy’s hands comes up to weave into Kaito’s hair. An action that lets him know Kizzy was paying attention to him and his affections.

“Hey! Oi! You better not– That fucking bastard.” Kaito watches from his spot with his head rested on her shoulder as Kizzy pulls the phone away from her ear and glares at it, “He just fucking hung up on me.”

Kaito raises an eyebrow but doesn’t respond. Especially as Kizzy curses some more and begins to walk away. A signal for Kaito to let go of his girlfriend as she was thoroughly pissed off. 

And while he usually would follow after her, waiting for her to cool down once more, the slight vibration in his back left pocket distracts him. Pulling out his phone and seeing a text on his lock screen that just came through, Kaito can’t help the grin that spreads to his lips. 

Although as quickly as the smile came it left. Placing his phone on the counter and shrugging off his jacket, Kaito slowly walks over to Kizzy. The young woman still fuming as she attempts to call their leader back; the young man not answering any of her calls.

“Kizzy…” Kaito mumbles, this time his hands a little less carefully in not surprising his girlfriend as he places one right on the curve of her ass, the other skimming on the top edge of her towel. Placing a kiss to the back of her shoulder, he waits for his girlfriend to respond before proceeding. 

And respond did Kizzy do. In a little less than a couple seconds, Kizzy had already captured her boyfriend’s lips in a searing kiss; shrugging off her towel as she was pushing Kaito down to the couch. Likely unable to wait to get all the anger and frustration out of her system.

All the while, Kaito can only grin as he hears his phone buzz once more. The unanswered message from Koo likely still on his lockscreen.

Today, the neighbors planted sunflowers and refused to take them out when we asked. Rocky does not want Kizzy to be coming to work until we get the situation settled. Please keep her occupied until then so she doesn’t show up to the club.

He just hoped Kizzy wouldn’t see the text afterwards or he would be a dead man.

Murayama – Oya High

Lots of people say Murayama is a dog person.

Though I can honestly see him as just a straight animal lover.

Like I feel like he and Smokey would be the most likely to take in strays. Whether that be cats, dogs, etc.

Except, unlike Smokey, I feel like Murayama would be the type to be allergic to cats. Like the sniffly sneezing, runny red eyes, and stuffy nose type of allergy. 

Murayama also seems like the type of guy that would be like, “The more I’m exposed to my allergies, the more likely I can be immune!”

No, no idiot. That's not how it works. 

So, I feel like a lot of the part timers (especially Furuya and Seki) have to step in to keep him from getting near or taking in stray cats.

“Oi! Murayama!” Furuya shouts once more, using the toe of his boot to kick at the door. Not caring about the strange looks he and the group of part-timers got from Murayama’s neighbors as they poked their heads out from their apartments, “Open the door! We know you are in there!”

“Maybe he really is not home?” Seki asks as he passes the broom in between his hands, the student holding the animal carrier just shrugging at him. Meanwhile, some of the students holding nets and containers of their own go over to the window next to the door to see if they could peek past the curtain to look inside.

“No he is. The fucker definitely is.” 

Just as Furuya goes to kick at the door once more, it suddenly swings open revealing their boss. Of course, just as Furuya had guessed, Muruyama had bloodshot glossy eyes and a red nose. Fucking idiot.

“Oi! Hey!” Not giving Murayama even a second to ask them what they are doing here, Furuya has already placed him in a headlock and shoved his way into the apartment. The other students immediately stampeding in as well, splitting up to search the premises. Looking for the fluffy devil-like creature inside, “What the hell–”

Though, Furuya has already kneed Murayama in the stomach as the male attempts to get out of the lock. Likely this would end up in a fight between the two but Furuya knew it was good for the idiot. He can’t just take in the thing he was allergic to.

“What the FUCK–” 

As a large crash and girlish scream resounds throughout the apartment, Furuya and the other students can only watch in shock and horror as an offending creature comes barling out of the room. With brown and black fur, a fluffy thick coat, sharp claws, black noses and whiskers, it scampers onto the coffee table…holding a peanut butter jar?

“Is that a motherfucking Racoon?”

While Furuya doesn’t know who said it, he honestly didn’t care. Especially as he just continued to stare straight at the Tanuki on his leader’s coffee table. Said Tanuki was not only eating out of a peanut butter jar but had a matching blue bandana across its forehead.

“Tanushiki!”

Furuya doesn’t even bother cursing Murayama out as the young male elbows him in the stomach, releasing Furuya’s hold on him. Especially as their leader, their leader for crying out loud, proceeds to scold the Tanuki called Tanushiki about standing on the table. 

He thinks about saying something. Maybe a comment or even a question if the raccoon was named after a combination of Murayama first name–Yoshiki–and Tanuki. Or perhaps ask how long their leader had the animal. Likely a while based on how calm the thing was with Murayama. 

But all of that goes out the window as the sound of hissing and banging is once again heard in the other room, some of the part-timers cheering as one of them comes out with a container; a stray cat clearly inside. 

“I–” Furuya already felt a headache coming on as he took in the scene around him, “Let’s just wrap this up.”

Defeated, and clearly needing a beer, Furuya takes the rest of the part-timers and leaves. Ignoring the fact Murayama and Tanushiki had gotten into a brawl over the peanut butter jar as he left. Not even bothering to mention or even glance at the claw marks that were scattered on the leader's face when he showed up at school the next morning. 

[bisaster-energy]

I have to know what nut allergy means 🤲🏻

god i had forgotten about this one til u tagged me💀i got the idea cos of some tiktok someone made about putting ghost pepper in their food to catch whichever coworker was stealing their food and ppl in the notes were freaking out cos "wHAt iF sOMeOnE iS ALlErGiC" me and my friend luke were like "god how funny would it be if you just went in someone's fridge drank all their milk and shit yourself cos ur lactose intolerant and then blame them for trying to poison u that logic is so crazy...what if it was a destiel au"

it's really just a silly hospital au i never got around to finishing it's cringy and basic but it's funny to me so i kept it

so cas is a doctor ofc i have to reward dean somehow.

he's neurosurgeon because i did watch grey's anatomy and dr. sexy being a parody of derek shepherd who's played by patrick dempsey who also played a guy named cass who was in a polyamory with jensen ackle's character and marilyn monroe. i had to put it in

i couldnt decide if i wanted dean to be a doctor too or a nurse but i know i wanted him in peds

basically it's one sided enemies to lovers with dean having beef with cas for no reason (he's hot and this frustrates dean to no end). meanwhile cas has a crush bigger than texas on that man

maybe a competitive aspect too like derek and burke had but less animosity. i try to lean into the soap opera aspect of it as if they're in a medical drama more than a REAL HOSPITAL because it's easier than doing extensive research <3

so maybe dean is a bit more of an asshole to cas than strictly necessary and no one else gets why. cas essentially gives up on trying to have a normal conversation w/dean and thinks he really hates him so he settles to only talk to him in a professional capacity so he wont encroach on his space more than he has to

dean takes this personally. i love misunderstandings

etc etc it comes to a head when maybe something happens that really sets dean off about cas (i haven't figured what yet) and so to get back at him he nabs a cookie from his lunch (cas already established that anyone can indulge in them but dean missed the memo ig)

anyways ruh roh! his dumbass is allergic to one of the ingredients cos it came into contact with walnuts or smth idk

dean's embarrassed as hell and cas finds him all swollen and fucked up and i haven't gotten past this part but yeah i just wanted cas to stab dean with an epi-pen really

overall very mid and silly and dumb but here's an excerpt anyway:

The neurosurgeon is, in Dean's humble (but also right) opinion, the only one worthy of the term Asshole around here, with a capital A.

Well, not the only one. But still.

And it's not like Dean didn't try to get to know him! New doctor shows up, windswept hair tousled to perfection, lab coat flaring behind him like some sort of superhero, gaze focused and intense, and eyes so so blue-

Ahem. Of course Dean is going to be intrigued he's a human being! It's not like Castiel was interested anyway. Barely said three words to Dean before rushing off somewhere else, probably to bless some other coworker with his angelic ass sculpted by god. Dean tried a few times after that and still ended up with nothing more than stilted small talk. Dude made talking to a brick wall seem like a cake walk. There was always something going on that had to cut their conversations short, and Dean thought Cas was just a shy guy at first, nothing wrong with that. But he's seen Dr. Novak easily chat with other staff for longer than two (painfully awkward) minutes. Especially Masters. God that snake just loves to hang off Novak, like that's her job instead of being a damn nurse. Even Balthazar, their own personal sleazeball of an anesthesiologist, allegedly manages to drag the uptight doctor out from time to time.

Not that Dean has been stalking them or anything. He just heard it through the grapevine like every other godforsaken rumor at this high school of a hospital. And if the grapevine happened to just be Balthazar himself bragging about their nights out in the breakroom, well that's Dean's business.

"I still say you need to give him a chance, Dean," his mammoth of a brother insisted, brushing his mane out of his face. Seriously, dude, just get a haircut. "I don't get what your problem with him is. Castiel is great! A little awkward maybe, but it really adds to his charm." Dean rolls his eyes.

"Sammy, you do realize you sound like you're trying to get me to adopt a dog that's about to be sent to the pound? It didn't work when you were eight and it won't work now. And, for your information, I've given Cas plenty of chances to talk to me. He's the one with the issue. You should be selling him all this kumbaya bullshit. And don't you have some lawsuits to prevent?"

It's Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Whatever, Dean. If you gave up on talking to him then why the hell do you call him by a nickname?" With another flip of his mop, his brother left Dean spluttering for a reasonable answer. Which there is, of course. But Sam's long gone by the time he manages a weak "Castiel is a mouthful, okay?" "I'll say," came an annoyingly sultry voice from behind. Without turning Dean lets out a sigh. "Can I help you, Masters?" He asks flatly, already resigning himself to an unpleasant encounter. "Oh, don't be like that, Dean," God, he can practically hear the obnoxious pout he knows she's wearing right now. "I thought we could bond over what a mouthful Clarence is!" That has him spinning around.

meg is cas' bestie she can't understand why he's hung up on dean but she supports his terrible terrible taste. and if she can manage to convince dean they're fucking in the meantime well. god forbid women do anything

the reason sam seems so invested is cos the hospital has a betting pool over if these 2 get together and when. bros tryna make bank

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[charliedawn]

Hello It's me Ya boy✨ Anyway Could You write about The reader having allergies ( crab and shrimp) And they accidentally eat it probably because of there friend and got sent into a hospital how would the slashers react??( cause I just did that and uh my friend really won't stop apologizing and I just keep freaking laughing cause how stupid I am 🤣)

Jason *sees you on the floor and starts panicking* : "W—What is happening ?"

Jason would then go warn someone or hold you until you tell him what to do.

Confused boy.

He would understand if you pointed to the EpiPen, but since he's forest boy...Wouldn't know how to use it.

And since he's technically afraid of asking help from people...You'd have to have the stamina to hang in there until someone else appears.

So, yeah. You'd have to rely on someone else on this one.

Five *look of disbelief* : "Are you stupid ? It says right there on the menu. Sea food included. Like...*sighs...Nevermind. Give me the damn pen. I was in the mood to stab someone anyway..."

Five would know how to use the pen and would take sadistic pleasure in it.

He'd also remind you for weeks about that one time he saved you.

He likes seeing people suffer. He's a brat like that.

Jack *sighs* : "...How ? Just how ?"

Would act exasperated while grabbing the EpiPen in your bag and injecting you with it.

He had a son with allergies and even though he wasn't awarded the "Father of the Year Award", he still knows how to use an EpiPen.

Thankfully.

Michael *tilts his head curiously at you*

....Why are you swelling so much ?

Confused, but would still attempt to help you by searching for a nurse.

If not ? Would stare at you and wait to see if it gets better.

...Try to explain him how to help you beforehand. Michael would be able to help, but only if he knows what it is you need.

Pennywise *impressed* : "...Again ?!" *bursts out laughing* "You gotta be kidding me ?!"

It is the third time he had to save you because of your allergies.

Penny called him and Pennywise had no choice but to save you—again.

Pennywise *rolls up his imaginary sleeves* : "Watch and learn." *places his hand over your chest and proceeds to help you by using his powers*

Brahms *PANIC*

Brahms would frantically try to search for help, or your EpiPen.

He'd have no clue how to use that last one though.

So, either he finds a nurse/doctor or...

Yup. You're dead. Sorry.

Freddy *sees you and turns away* : "Nope. Not my problem."

He would to be walking away, only to sigh and come back to crouch in front of you.

"Fine. Let's get this over with. Whatya need ?"

He would then wait for you to explain and do as you say.

He may pretend not to care, but he'd still try to help you at the end.

The Sinclair Brothers *special bonus* :

Bo *red and sweating profusely because—of course he is also allergic* : "....WHY WOULD NOBODY TELL US THAT THERE WAS DAMN CRAB IN THIS ?!"

*proceeds to become even redder and starts choking*

Vincent *looks at the both of you and wonders if he should call someone*

Bo *yells* : "GET US OUR SHOTS, IDIOT !"

Vincent *starts panicking and looking around for them in a frenzy*

Lester *finds the EpiPen, but slips and falls*

Vincent *attempts to catch the pens, but fails and they roll underneath the couch*

Bo *mutters on the verge of suffocation* : "In my next life, I'll ask for smarter brothers..."

Lester *finally finds them* : "GOT THEM !"

You and Bo *passed out*

Vincent *start panicking even more*

Lester *tries to slap you both awake* : "WAKE UP, GUYS ! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO USE THOSE ?!"

[nicolovespancakes]

How about relationship headcanons/ideas? How would they treat one another? What if one gets sick? What if a 3-sum idea comes up, how would they react? Would they have an open or closed relationship? That kind of stuff! (you can also throw in headcanons for both individually if you have the space, I'm curious ^^)

OH THIS IS SO FUN-

Let's do it.

Relationship HCs:

- How do they treat one another?

They're best friends, always have been. Nothing much changes on that dynamic. I think Kon likes to tease indefinitely, and Bart likes to act innocent when he knows he's not. They banter as friends, and play video games at 3 AM too. I also personally think Kon has a softer spot for Bart himself, whereas with others it's his cocky/slick and cool jock persona. Same for Bart, as Bart himself is *not very nice* in the Impulse comics.

- What happens if one gets sick?

Speaking to the fact that Kryptonians can't get human illnesses, allergies, and ailments, let's say Bart gets sick. He's down with strep throat. Kon goes balls to the walls, he speed googles how to cure strep throat whilst panicking because he does not know how to deal with human sickness, and Bart is just in bed like, "what." Kon would absolutely make every remedy possible, and he'd take him to the doctors like Bart's dying or something. Once Bart tells him that no, he's not dying, Kon calms down a little.

- Threesomes?

This goes into my personal individual HCs for them, but I don't think either of them would be shocked. In fact I think that personally, they wouldn't turn it down at most notions. Kon's got the hormones of a teenage boy, and Bart can keep up with it. They both have crushes outside of eachother that they'd be fine with fucking in one another's company as well.

- Open or closed relationship?

I guess this one can depend on what dynamic I'm finding with them. Because Kon is very loyal as a person, as is Bart. So if they were in agreement of monogamy, then that's it. I think they'd keep that promise. If they weren't? I damn well know Kon would be the kind to fuck around, but Bart would still be his main person. His main partner and lover. Same for Bart to Kon, he'd have relationships outside of theirs, but his and Kon's is his main priority. They both feel like the kinds of the people that can't be tied down, and that would reflect in their relationship and relation to sex and things.

- Three-Way pairs?

TimBartKon. They're all very close and kind to my heart. <3

- Who Tops?

I'd say Kon tops more often, but they switch on occasions. Sometimes Bart needs to let off some steam in, other ways. ;)

Random other Relationship HCs

- They gossip about other people with eachothwr and they are BITCHES about it because they're both brash as hell.

- The 90s slang in their convos is WILD.

- Their dancing together is half insane because they use their powers a lot of the time. And it's just limbs all over.

- They have NO shame about anything, ever. No filters for sex, none for obscene jokes, nothing. Not even in public.

- They start food fights with eachother and they are METICULOUS.

- They compare eachother to fictional characters all the time.

- They share the most cryptically funny taste in memes. Regularly Whip n Nae Nae at eachother around the room.

- Kon took Bart's V-card. :)

- Size Kink

- Bart calls Kon squishy all the time.

- They share one brain cell when doing stupid things

- Kon treats Bart as his fashion doll because otherwise Bart will dress like Adam Sandler

- They have Water Guns if ever in a shared living space, and constantly spray eachother with them

- Bart constantly wants uppies

Individual HCs:

Kon (NSFW ahead)

- Sexual Deviance is in his NATURE. Literally lost his virginity at the age of, what? 15? 16? Basically after he was born and got with Knockout. He is a boy in every aspect but sex when he was first introduced in his comics.

- To add to that, he is an open book of sex, but my HC reasons for that are depraved and disturbing (talk Lex Luthor and being, "inappropriate" to minors, dm for more info on THAT)

- I'd like to say he often has hook ups with, many different crowds. Like the road trip arc with the party animals and orgies/hookups of various sizes of people. He's into some freaky shit.

- Canonically has a thing for his cousins, so I insist upon it.

- Regularly also bangs aliens!

- Hates hot chocolate for no reason in particular.

- Has slept with most of his teammates and/or villians (if not them all)

- Likes mint chocolate chip

- Smells of vaguely fruity and floral cologne, but also luxurious and leathery all at once

- Never leaves without his sunglasses

- OBSESSED with playboy. Has bunny earrings and a full bunny suit in storage. Wears their merchandise constantly.

- Listens to the wackiest amalgamation of music of different genres

- Has his tounge pierced from years in hawaii.

- Frequently visited sex clubs in Hawaii (whilst still figuring his shit out)

- Chews gum almost constantly (usually pink, blows bubbles so much its annoying)

- Had sex with most members of the batfamily.

- Has a magic cross piercing. ;)

- The strongest member of the super family (fight me)

- Says he's a slut for everything (arrowhead water, KFC, sushi, Mac n Cheese, lobster tails, redbull, sun chips, etc.)

- Absolutely has a pair of crust pants but they're white

- Loves furbies

- Fidgets with anything in sight.

- Actually insanely smart (LEX LUTHOR GENES)

- Bedazzled himself once

- Has definitely eaten tide pods like gushers (won't kill him, right?)

- Likes restraints. ;)

- "Self pleasure is love, self pleasure is life"

- Sometimes Intersex (SOMETIMES I HC HIM AS INTERSEX (KRYPTONIAN BIOLOGY), SOMETIMES I HC HIM AS CIS)

- Is definitely a partial country boy after living with the Kents.

- Spends too much time on Rule 34

- Would throw a building at the right person with no hesitation

- Body claim is Ross Lynch

- Doesn't sleep much

- Has a Lexcorp branding on his lower back

- Hoards sex toys like the plagues are coming (he has so fucking many)

- Pansexual

- Etc. (I have more I just can't remember them rn-)

Bart

- Dies a little inside every time someone calls him crazy

- Has a high sex drive because Speedster Things

- Stamina is through the roof

- Talks so fast sometimes that the words are blurred together

- "tIMDIDYOUHEARMEILOVEPEACETEA-"

- Is not a very patient person

- Brat to the highest degree

- Drools in his sleep

- His music taste is the most cursed shit in humanity's history

- Has a hard time communicating because he grew up in VR

- Comes up with the FUNNIEST insults possible

- Demisexual

- Unsure of gender identity

- Vibrates when overstimulated (Often)

- Gives every person he knows a nickname

- Likes spicy food

- Regularly travels to Japan for convenient store snacks in specific

- Breaks out into musical theatre at random

- Also fucked most of his teammates

- More attracted to masc presenting then fem presenting

- Floofy ass hair for days

- Technology genius (everyone says he's not until they see it)

- Eats (licks) sea salt licks

- Has PICA

- Uploads cryptic photos to the group chat at 3 AM

- Bottoms more than he tops

- Socially inept

- FRECKLES EVERYWHERE

- A very good artist (fight. me.)

- Not a fan of history

- Once tried to get Tim to ride his red board connected to him by rope whilst he sped across central city

- Gets MAD when people don't say hi to Dox (thy dog named Dox)

- Once introduced Cassandra Cain to heelys and had to hear the batfam complain about it for months

- Comes quickly after becoming aroused (a teenager SPEEDSTER? CMON YALL)

- Says the weirdest philosophical theory at random with friends and then acts like nothing happened

- LOUD. BOYS A SCREAMER IN BED.

- Plays the ukulele

- ETC. (ITS 2 AM PLEASE)

[promethea-silk]

Maze of Mirrors; House of Cards

Silence.

It was deafening among the sounds of old crackling parchments being moved about and achy bindings of forgotten tomes. Cordelia’s gaze held firm on the scribbles she read through with distinct detail, nearly aware of Ricard’s presence in the room as he did the same. She was refusing sleep, food, and drink, her mind was set on finding further answers and it would take a force of great convincing to get her to change her mind. There had barely been a word exchanged between the two once they left her room to venture deeper within the estate to settle in for a long day ahead as Cordelia’ headstrong nature took over. 

A heavy sigh escaped her parted lips as heavy eyelids finally closed for a moment, papers tossed aside in the same motion while her head leaned back against the chair she sat in. Doing as she often did in a stressful situation or when deep in thought, her thumb rubbed against the ring on her right pointer finger and still she held silence. 

Ricard glanced over his shoulder for a moment before flipping through a few more papers, setting aside the tome he’d been reviewing before turning around, his arms crossed over his chest. His vest had long been unbuttoned, the top button of his shirt undone, and he looked like he’d been rifling through papers for hours because he had been. 

Something had to give.

“You’re not sleeping in that damn chair, Cordelia. If I have to toss you over my shoulder and drag you back to your room and tie you to the bed to make sure you sleep then that’s what’s going to happen. You’re not helpful to me the way you are at the moment and you damn well know it.” 

He walked over, leaning over the chair, setting his hands on both of the armrests as his eyes narrowed at her dozing form. “Give me one good  reason why I don’t pick you up right now.”

She propped an elbow on one of the arms of the chair, aware now of his hands there as she rested the side of her head against her hand. “You know that is hardly a threat, Ricard.” Cordelia quipped in a playful manner, though her usual quirk and sass was barely present in her tone. Eyes opened to look up at him with yet another sigh as her brows furrowed. “Plus, I’m not sleeping, I just needed to give my vision a break from trying to read all of this.” The hand that held her head now waved around them, gesturing at the mess they had  been successful in making despite her attempts at being organized.

“Trying being the key word. What’s the last thing you actually retained?” He tilted his head, completely unconvinced by her claim of ‘not sleeping’. He knew she hadn’t slept the night before, and they’d been at this wild goose chase for hours with no rest.

“Did you find anything?”  She opted to ignore his question and instead asked one of her own.

His tongue brushed across one of his canines quickly. “A handful of documents - missives between your late husband and that broker of his with the allergy that I absolutely didn’t take advantage of. But I’d still need to find a few missing pieces for the missives to be useful. I still think the pieces are in that pile of papers, but I also think that a rested extra set of eyes are more likely to help me find them than a sleep deprived set. You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends like  this and expect to find anything, Cordelia.”

Steel gray hues usually holding a sort of vibrancy now held his gaze with a tempered and tired look. This hadn’t been the first attempt at getting her to take a rest, all other times before had obviously failed but she was at her breaking point and the cracks were showing. “Give me another hour and I will go lay down after if we haven’t found what we’re looking for.” Absently, her hand now fell to rest on his arm almost as if the touch were second nature. “Deal?” 

His gaze dropped to the hand on his arm and he didn’t fight the heavy sigh that left him. After a moment he straightened up, running a hand over his face before turning back to the papers scattered across nearly every piece of furniture within the room. “Thirty minutes, and if I see you close your eyes or doze off, Fury help me, I will pick you up and carry you to your room myself, regardless of whether or not we’ve found something and I will make sure you stay there and rest. I understand this is important to you, but for fuck’s sake, Cordelia - it’s not worth your health.” 

She simply scoffed in response as she watched him stand as her hand fell away with the movement, unrelated. “Thirty minutes.” Cordelia finally gave in, pushing to stand as well and moving toward a pile of books on a nearby table. Scanning them for a silent moment, she eventually settled on one, reaching for it and lifting it into her grasp as the binding was nothing more than show. Not so much a bound book as it was a folder, a few pages shook loose and fluttered to the floor. Tilting her head, Cordelia narrowed her eyes on the writing before kneeling down and plucking it within her fingers. Her mother’s signature.

“Ricard.” She said his name blankly as she now began looking through the other pages. Letters between her mother and Adrian, but even more important letters between her mother and Ambrose. Unsurprising that he sought her out instead of her ‘father’ to use as an exploit. She hadn’t been weak of mind by any means but Elsbeth certainly had a softer heart and a strong desire to protect her family name above all else. Eventually she came to documents signed by all three parties; her parents and Ambrose. 

“Hm?” Book in hand, Ricard turned towards the source of the voice, still flipping through various financial records and missives and grumbling under his breath about an organizational ‘system’ for a moment before snapping the book shut and setting it down with an irritated huff.

“Find something worth reading?” He moved over, glancing over her shoulder and eyes scanning the pages in her hand with a quirked eyebrow. “A reminder of why, if you’re going to have a scandalous affair of any kind, you don’t keep evidence of it in writing…but what did your parents have to say, hm?”

She held the papers up a bit more so that he could see them more clearly, eventually offering for him to take them if he wished. “Seems my assumptions were pretty close. Ambrose went after my mother, he figured out the weakness and exploited that. I… can’t tell the entire story from this but from what I gather he sought her out first, she likely convinced Archer to sign everything over.” 

He scoffed, taking the offered papers and reading through them with a scowl. “So why not turn the bastard in for attempted blackmail? Why jump through all these hoops - it feels like there’s a piece missing. He goes after your mother, your mother wants to protect…who? Adrian Cress? You? Both? Herself? What’s the payoff here?” 

A low hum rumbled through his chest as he turned on his heel, pacing a few steps as he read through the letters.

A heavy sigh left her as she shook her head. “I don’t know. He consumed my family’s entire livelihood with our marriage contract. My mother likely did everything she thought was right to keep this secret quiet.” As he took to pacing, Cordelia found herself yet again back in the chair she had rested in prior, brows furrowed in thought. “Sweeping this under the rug is the only positive in their direction in this. They lost everything in the end despite them trying to procure an arrangement that would still benefit them as our businesses were still rightfully in my name to some degree.” With a pause, she flicked her gaze up and over to him as her features hardened just slightly. “It was partially why I sought to be rid of Ambrose, to regain control of it all and take what was left as mine as well.” 

“Right - I understand that, but we’ve still got a situation where this man is clearly doing some shady shit to get your family into this marriage contract and they go along with it. Why?” He waved the letters, tapping his chin with his free hand. “What is it about the relationship your mother had with Adrian Cress…or what is it about you that made it so important that people don’t know that you’re a Cress…important enough that it’d be okay to give away an entire business without much of a fight…” 

Ricard turned, pointing towards Cordelia. “You have a child, hypothetically, for the sake of this conversation - and that child is born out of wedlock with the love of your life whoever that happens to be - and you can’t acknowledge that man, but you’d do anything to protect him…what are you protecting him from?”

“I don’t know, Ricard. Everything I know is right there.” She gestured to him with frustration as the slew of emotions and lack of sleep riddled her typically rather sharp mind. “I still don’t even know what I’m going to do with all this. But I don’t think my mother was trying to protect Adrian, I think it was more about keeping our family safe… unless Ambrose threatened Adrian too and then it turned into threats from the Cress side as well…”

“You…lady Gray…are too tired for this. That’s what this is. We’re talking in circles.” He took the letters and carefully tucked them into his vest before moving over to the chair she was seated in and picking her up with little warning. “And your time limit is up. You need sleep, food, maybe a good bath, and then to come at this with a clear head. You’re not going to see shit with fog covered eyes.”

Cordelia retaliated initially with his actions, the movement of being plucked from her seat and into his arms catching her unexpectedly, despite his warning from earlier. With a heavy, defeated sigh, she gave in and settled within his hold with a curse beneath her breath as she allowed her head to lower and nestle to his shoulder as she began to give in to the tiredness she was fighting.

He turned towards the door, cradling her against his chest as he walked. “What, if we’re throwing out ideas, if it had nothing to do with protecting the adults and had everything to do with protecting you from something? Hm?”

Lifting her head to look up at him, her brow rose with question. “Do you think Adrian sought to bring harm to me? After going through the effort and acceptance of allowing me to live in the first place?”

“Adrian? No - I think that letter to your mother…the first one, indicates that he wouldn’t do anything. But that’s not to say there weren’t other adults around that, if they found out about you wouldn’t be more inclined to see you gone.” He shrugged the shoulder she wasn’t leaning against as he moved through the halls - her bedroom coming into view. “All idle speculation at the moment. We need a timeline, we need more information, we need to know the pieces on the board, and you need rest. The papers aren’t going to up and walk away if you get a couple of hours of sleep. I’ll keep looking.”

Her gaze fell from his as he spoke, mind pondering his assumptions and speculations. He had a point, but to get to the truth would be more difficult than she originally expected. .In regards to needing rest, she knew he was right but would die before outwardly admitting.  As they neared her room, she adjusted and pushed from him so that she could try to weasel out to be set down. “If I am being forced to take a break then you should take one as well.” Cordelia scolded, the lack of interest in arguing over the matter extremely evident in her tone. “There’s no need for you to continue wasting your time here.” 

Her squirming was met with a quirked eyebrow, but he set her down nonetheless, tilting his head as he pulled the letters from his vest and moved to set them on her bedside table for her. “Wasting my time, hm? Are you kicking me out, Lady Gray?”

She adjusted the fabrics of her dress, no, nightgown. She was still in her nightgown. The realization caused her to shake her head, judging herself for the lack of preparation in her appearance. Cordelia was, if anything, a bit of a traditional snob, preferring to keep proper grooming and dress habits up at all times and here she was still in her sleepwear from the night before. 

He turned back towards her, walking over slowly, “Let’s keep in mind - I wasn’t the one up all night pouring over papers. And it’s not a waste of time if it’s helpful to you.” If he noted her scolding tone, he seemed to ignore it entirely, as he reached out, fingers brushing under her chin lightly. 

The touch brought a tease of a smirk to her lips as she looked up to him. “No, not kicking you out… but be careful, Mister Blythe, one might think you may actually care.” She taunted, as her head tilted just slightly. “You are welcome to stay, if that is what you wish.” 

Ricard scoffed, leaning down a bit closer. “I can care from time to time. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.” He let his hand fall away, taking a moment to adjust his vest. “But we wouldn’t want people to start thinking it’s a common occurrence.” 

He paused for a moment, clearly thinking something over. “I’ll wait around - make sure you actually fall asleep and don’t just wait for me to leave the room before popping up and getting right back to work. While you are actually sleeping I should be able to start piecing together a timeline of some sort - I hope.”

Cordelia hummed softly as she turned from him to cross the room to a large wardrobe, opening it and reaching in to retrieve a similar nightdress to the one she was currently wearing but clean. “Your secret is safe with me.” She mused out loud, returning her attention to him. Her eyes fell on him, slightly narrowed as the light fabric dress draped over her arms. “I don’t need a watcher, Ricard.” The tone was warning but also somehow it offered something else. 

“Then what do you need, Cordelia?” He tilted his head with a small smirk, arms crossing loosely over his chest as he watched her move about the room. 

The bed had been made, her staff having come in at some point during the day to see that the mess she had left about was tended to. She took the papers he put on the nightstand and tucked them away into the drawer as a show of good faith that she was actually planning on resting before pulling the covers back in preparation to slip in once she was settled. “Now, if you will excuse me,” her arm lifted slightly, gesturing to the new dress to be swapped out. 

He seemed to pause, measuring something in his head for a long moment before the smirk shifted to a wide grin and he motioned towards the nightdress. “Oh, don’t mind me. Go right ahead. I can help if you like.” Now he was just being difficult…or playful, depending on how one looked at it. They’d spent hours digging through papers and being serious, perhaps some light-hearted banter would allow for a slightly different perspective - or perhaps he was simply being a shit. 

Catching his tone and the shift in atmosphere, she decided to call him on his bluff with a chuckle, tossing the gown from her arm to the bed all while holding his gaze. “Hm, I fear that I may not quite get the rest you so adamantly suggest I need if I take you up on that offer,” she began though her hands gestured out to her sides with a grin. “Though, by all means…” 

Ricard’s gaze lazily drifted over her form as he closed the distance between them. “Perhaps not immediately, but you’d be thoroughly relaxed by the end of it. And the rest you’d get would be restful.” He reached out, a hand sliding down her side and finding her waist before drawing her to him. “So let me ask you again…what is it that you need, Cordelia?”

It seemed no matter how many times they came to this, they played the game. The back and forth was endearing, in a sense, it continued to call back to their humble beginnings. Not that they had come so incredibly far from it, but it was a growth of sorts even still. Allowing him to pull her closer, she leaned into Ricard further as she lifted her gaze to stay on his. “You threatened to take me to bed…” her voice had dropped to a lower tone, the seductive melody seeping out despite her tiredness. She needed a distraction, even for a moment, and he was here for the taking. Lifting her chin just a slight bit more so that her breathy words could be felt against his skin. “…so take me to bed, Ricard, and help me forget all of this for a little while.” 

The need stated without being stated, and he wouldn’t let the desire go unfulfilled. “As you wish.” There was a tenderness in his gaze - brief though it was - as he leaned down to lift her up once more, carrying her to the bed and gently depositing her in the middle of it before moving over her, brushing her hair away from her face. 

“By the time we’re done the only name you’ll be thinking about will be mine.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers and intent on doing just that.

Thoughts of Cress, and Gray, of Adrian, Ambrose, Elsbeth, and all others…they could wait until the morning.

[Collab writing : @ricard-blythe-ffxiv]

[@sanguinecourt-ffxiv @house-cress]

[squadrah]

From My CuriousCat

"What are your cooking headcanons for La Squadra?"

Risotto: I like leaning towards excellent cook because it's just another way of bringing and keeping the team (his last family) together. His preferences are very simple so he focused on learning the basics of everything, and now he can make just about anything and leaves it to the others to chip in with seasoning and ingredients of their choice for variety. Uses Metallica to fetch kitchen implements from the wall and the drawers, so caution is advised.

Formaggio: If it can't be made from scratch in fifteen minutes or less then he is not interested because he needs almost immediate gratification. Can cook eggs a dozen ways and knows how to make imitations of certain dishes using the forbidden shortcuts (his tiramisu is considered a crime), but he infinitely prefers hovering by when someone else is cooking and dipping a piece of bread in the simmering ragú. Or would, if it weren't for…

Prosciutto: Doesn't care to learn, but you want him in the kitchen anyway because he will measure out everything perfectly (yes, he will remove that extra gram of flour), read you the recipe, reassure you and calm your frayed nerves if you make mistakes, and keep everyone else out of the kitchen so they don't dip into the ingredients or the raw batter, your simmering ragú or your frosting. He will also help with presentation when you're done.

Pesci: The somewhat clumsy but enthusiastic kitchen hand. He is an excellent taster because he can instinctively tell you what's missing, just don't make him explain his answer because he really couldn't tell you the reason. He will fetch your ingredients for you and clear surfaces or do the dishes while you cook: anything to make himself useful and pull his weight. The only thing he ever makes from scratch are sandwiches and paninis (they're really good).

Ghiaccio: La Squadra's official ice cream machine because once they realized he can hand-churn ice cream with White Album, they stopped buying store brand altogether. He isn't actually a big fan of the stuff, but he has so much professional pride that making ice cream by hand gives him a lot of satisfaction and joy, even if he refuses to show it. Takes requests for flavorings as long as they're reasonable. This is his niche and he refuses to branch out.

Melone: Everything is an experiment. Has made rice and pasta in Gatorade, tried out ingredient combinations that shouldn't be put together, and also ingredient combinations that have no right tasting so good together. Has hooked every other member on some weird combination of food items at least once. Number one enemy of raw dough: gluten allergy be damned, he will eat it in little chunks if you made the foolish mistake of not having Prosciutto around.

Illuso: King of single serving meals and microwave mug cakes because he hates sharing. He actually has a microwave and an ingredient cabinet in his apartment for bad days, but most of the time he has no problem using the common area microwave so you hear that PING! and just know he's made something nice and he's not giving you a single bite of it. You have to be really close (in cahoots) to stand a chance at getting a mug cake for yourself.

Sorbet and Gelato: Putting them together for this one because my original version said they "[U]sed to love cooking together - to them it was another love language." (Apparently I ran out of space at this point since CC had a hard limit.) Sorbet has a love-hate relationship with cooking because it is necessary for his comfort and yet takes too much effort, but having someone around to help and share the burden makes him more reconciled to it. He would probably like it more if he was better at it, let's be honest: he only knows a few staples and half-heartedly juggles them around. Gelato is fairly good at cooking, but all he ever makes is soup, from whatever they happened to have at home, and he eyeballs everything so wantonly that Prosciutto never ever offers to help out when he's at the stove. Despite this, his soups always end up ridiculously good.

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

"[Tobot X], don't you remember me? It's me, y- your daddy.." "I.. don't remember having one. Apologies, who are you again?" "..." He held up his red tie. "How about this sweet thing? Please tell me you remember me." "Oh! I remember you.... hi daddy.. where's- where's mommy?" "... Is she all you care about?" "I'm worried about her, I haven't seen her in ages and they told me that she would come!" "I came to visit you instead because Mommy was sick and couldn't come. I thought you would recognize me, at the very least. What did they do to you?" Panic was evident in X's expression, what? No.. no the last time she saw her Mommy, she was ok. Coughing sure but that was because of her seasonal allergies, she would know if her mommy wasn't feeling alright. She got told that it was allergies anyways.. "Nothing.. besides from the obvious. But what do you mean she's sick!? Is she.. going to be ok? Can I see her soon?" He was getting annoyed. After all this time, the only thing that the new tobot cared about was her mommy. What about him? The things that he did to make her happy. You liar.

"She'll be alright. Your Mommy is being cared for by a lovely woman, my mother."

"No. Anybody but her." "What's wrong with your grandmama?" "You know what's wrong with her. Grandmama cannot be trusted! You enabled her when mommy twisted her ankle, and grandmama gave her bad food and made her throw up and then she blamed her for 'messing up your carpet'." "We do NOT talk about that when there's cameras here. Don't you know that my job could be taken from under my feet? You wouldn't do that to your daddy, would you? Leave him jobless when Mommy needs all the care she could get when i'm not there." He was right. She cared too much to go into detail about that peculiar incident. Think about Mommy.. Think about Mommy.... "Sorry.. but I just.. think a nurse should take care of her instead of Grandmama." "I'll tell the hospital you said that sweetpea. All of this and you we're so rude to me. Guess you don't deserve your gift from Mommy. She'll be so disappoin- HEY!" X grabbed him suddenly, easily lifting the man without much issues and holding him close to her face. "What is it." "... I forgot how strong you are now.. I... You scared me. It's just a dumb plushie that she made you, it's made out of yarn.."

"Sorry.. again... can I have it?" "Have you been nice to me?" "I... but what if Mommy doesn't come back?"

"God, it would be easier if she didn't y'know?" "Please don't talk about her like that."

DAMN 😭 xixie has some of the worst family members huh

curious as to what happened with her mom. was it allergies or did someone lie (assuming lie), and what does her mom have?

and the father, what's up with him and his wife? it seems like he's abusive, how'd xixie's mom end up with HIM??

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/8/22

two days before my birthday problems

listening

Arrival At The Library from the Escape From New York soundtrack (1981, dir. and also scored by Carpenter). this is one of my favorite tracks bc of how tense it is-- so much music theory has been written about this score but i like it bc i like short fast repetition. makes me feel like i am inside computer as i do my little computer tasks.

the tracks on this thing are so short and mostly blend into each other, so it should not be startling that a thing i like so much is a hair over a minute long but i'm startled anyway.

unrelated to the music but related to the movie: let me lay out a scenario. a friend's partner (neither active on this site) was recently gushing about kurt russell's performance in this movie (same) and like. i know this man knows what bisexuality is. me saying "oh yeah have you seen big trouble in little china? suzee pai is so hot in that" got NO nibbles bc he immediately started talking about the women in the trucker episode of cowboy bebop.

i cannot outright ask this man for reasons of basic propriety if he is also bi. i can't even do the little signalling hey-im-bi-are-you-bi signalling dance bc 1) doesn't work on guys and 2) only works in real life and not the online. this isn't a problem to solve i'm just nosy and want to know if my vibes are right. also this would bump up the total of bi guys i know but have not dated to a grand total of three.

-

reading

one of my favorite grad students, a nuclear anthropologist, was briefly quoted in this middling article about bitcoin's survival in the event of a nuclear war (no). i do not know this guy in real life but i do have a parasocial relationship bc we used to run in the same physics/astro twitter circles before i had to use twitter for work and stopped using it personally for my health.

this is more of an excuse to talk about one of my favorite patreon structures, where it's just Some Guy doing his thing with a three dollar a month tier or something. i don't particularly care about new or exclusive content, or the perceived value thereof, i like the cut of someone's jib and want to throw a couple dollars for groceries their way. i want a handy spot to find, say, all the articles someone's written and been quoted in all in one place and nobody keeps their fuckin CV or portfolio updated and i'll be fucking damned before i use twitter again. because of my own personal choices, i am going to whine about how it is very hard to keep track of some of you people's work and what you're up to. inoreader only does so much, especially with twitter in an upheaval.

-

watching

this teardown of two of those automatic cocktail makers was very fun, got passed around the makerspace discord a bit. spoiler: it's pretty gross in there. this host is just a nice jersey boy who's lightly exasperated, which was of course extremely compelling to me.

in the original test run of these machines, he does what i value most in a critic but for food-- identify what is happening flavorwise, if it's typical or atypical for the drink, and break down exactly which flavor notes clash and why. i do not think i have every really thought about What Alcohol Flavors I Like other than knowing i have a light mint allergy and a dislike for tannins so this was a fun brain exercise.

-

playing

so there's a goofy little claw machine pie dispenser in the video game Fallout 4 that does not actually dispense pie. well, depending on a complex series of factors but mostly my luck stat (1) it would take about a hundred and fifty tries to get a slice of pie, across hundreds and hundreds of hours of playing this frankly disappointing game. but the sims is a little too scary and the settlement building here scratches a brain itch.

so when i got the fuckin pie in a shed in a DLC i shrieked out loud in real life. this was before i googled the stats to include in this post and found out this location is bugged and always gives you the pie. so it FUCKIN goes. i briefly considered building a museum to it, but i'm still going to put it in a display case in my player housing so none of my companions eat it.

i don't even have a pic of it in the machine bc i wasn't fast enough, it's more like a little ritual gesture than actually expecting to get the pie at this point.

-

making

a friendly reminder that my birthday is thursday :) and i am making a bigger fucking deal out of it than usual bc quite frankly i should not be alive. in lieu of commemorative gifts, donate to your local food bank or Native American tribe. more info here!

went into some sort of fugue state last night and wrote twenty pieces of mail. are the most overdue replies in the mail yet? heavens fucking no. usually outgoing mail goes in the toucan, but not this fat sheaf, which was very satisfying to hold. no fancy fanned-out pic bc many are going to beloved mutuals

and woe! more red lentil soup be upon ye (do not @ me. the lower shelf is full of various frozen meats. also do not @ me about the margaritaville shrimps. they were two dollars). square containers when these fake tupperware die, i think, although it feels like soup should always be in a round container.