#but looking at the number just proves i was at the hospital a lot lmao

[elizaxspears]

Memories of Mortals and Madmen rework? tell me more

Okay! So! I realised that a lot of the old version progressed way too fast! Relationships weren't built and no one was given time to breathe to have some development and I realised (after playing throuhg TEW2 again) that Seb shouldn't still be working for the KCPD (TEW2 is taken into account but I'm not really following that timeline, just picking certain plot and fact points from it lmao), so I had to reimagine the story with that involved! I also wanted to give William more people to interact with since he'd just be all alone otherwise (which would be accurate but he needs someone to bounce off of that's not Joseph when Joseph isn't there!) Speaking of relationships, I wanted to fix William and Joseph's, actually give them more of a dynamic then have it happen for the sake of happening. The same thing goes for Ronald and William, as in the original story I had that relationships just thrown in last second. I also want to give Seb and Joseph more of a part too because they never felt like they had much of one! Seb was still upset over Myra and Lily (I mean, understandably) and Joseph was just kind of passive to it. I'm hoping with this rework, it's feel more like mutual pining at some point!

So, yeah! Lots of relationships changes! As for the plot itself, it's mostly going the same way except Lily will be an actual character eventually, the Undertaker's presence will be felt a bit more, the murder subplot for Seb and Joseph is more streamlined and makes more sense (Also make Joseph sound more Canadian. A lot more "eh's" because as a Canadian, I've never conciously realised how much I say it in every day conversation until writing Joseph xD) That's all I can really say without going full spoiler mde (not that really is any lol) but I'm REALLY hoping this rework turns out how I want it to!

Here's a small snippet from the first draft of the rework:

Joseph stares down at the business card he continuously flips between his fingers. He’s not exactly sure why he thought having lunch with William would be a good idea but after this morning, he just wanted to have a small break without feeling like he was losing his mind a second time. While things were still tense with Sebastian, it was work that made him feel like he’d gone mad. When he’d asked about the body he’d found last night, Wolfe acted like he’d never heard of such a thing. He’d even looked himself and there was no official report made but it wasn’t like he made it up. He knew what he saw with his own two eyes, which, he supposes, couldn’t be very reliable narrators at times. It was also the time he’d officially met William and this business card proved it. If there was no body, there wouldn’t have been a Grim Reaper but he supposes bringing that up wouldn’t set well with anyone at work.

A grim reaper. William. He still thinks the man is mocking him, especially when he looks at the number on the business card. 444-444-413 just didn’t seem real but of course it was. William may not have answered but he did call him back, so obviously, the call had gone through.

He sighs, looking out the window. Ten minutes into his lunch break and he wonders if William will show up at all. “I apologise but there was a soul that needed collecting before I met you.”

The cool, posh, English accent isn’t hard to distinguish and of course when he turns from the window, he sees William just taking the seat across from him. He looks just as he had the last two times Joseph had seen William, although he does seem to be leaning just slightly more on his right and there’s an even slighter pinch to his expression. “I’m just glad you came.” he looks William over. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” William dismisses his worry with a wave of his hand. “I merely had a run in with a demon when you’d called and I’m afraid I may have broken a rib or two. Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“A broken rib? Two?! Shouldn’t you be going to a hospital?”

“Goodness no. One thing you must understand Oda is that wounds like broken bones, bruises, cuts, things that may be fatal to a human are mundane to us. Our bodies will heal on their own so long as it isn’t a slash from a death scythe. Even a demon’s claw, while painful and more dire, will continue to heal on its own with a bit more rest. I’m sure by tonight, I will be fine.”

[nothorses]

Top Surgery Journal

I figured it was time to share my top surgery experiences, so folks can potentially learn from them! I'll be updating this as I have more to add.

For context, I am in the U.S. (specifically Washington state), and a legal adult. A lot of my process may not apply to everyone.

Getting Coverage

The first step to scheduling top surgery is getting insurance coverage for it. Talk to your insurance first to figure out if they do cover top surgery, and what you need to do in order to obtain coverage. Oftentimes it won't be listed officially on your plan, but you can get coverage as long as you can prove you need it.

I was lucky enough to have good insurance with trans healthcare included, so all I needed was a letter from my PCP, and a letter from a behavioral health counselor specializing in gender dysphoria. I didn't need any diagnoses, any specific length of time on HRT, any particular presentation, etc.

(If you live in Washington, state law requires that top surgery be fully covered under Medicare. It might be worth it to check your state's laws as well!)

Referrals

I tried to schedule with a surgeon myself, thinking it was my responsibility to get the documents sent over and everything, but my PCP actually referred me when I first told her I had gotten coverage from my insurance.

I ended up going with that referral because the other surgeon was so hard to get ahold of, but my PCP did also send a referral to the surgeon I'd chosen before. I recommend going through your PCP for referrals first, as it takes a lot of the workload off of you- and they'll likely write a referral anyway when sending the documents needed for coverage over.

You may also find that the surgeon you talk to has different requirements than your insurance before performing top surgery. A referral from your PCP might bypass these requirements, but be sure to call them yourself and double-check. Your surgeon's office is supposed to call you to schedule a consultation, and they may not call you at all if you don't have all of those documents in- which means you can be left in limbo indefinitely, not knowing you need to send them more than you already did.

The Consultation

I was able to get a consultation about 5 weeks after calling, which was great! The consultation is your opportunity to ask the surgeon any questions you have, for them to evaluate your chest and what methods might work for you, and for you to see their results (most surgeons do not post result photos online for privacy reasons).

Come into the consultation with all the questions you have written down somewhere, so you don't forget. I asked:

If I could see photographs of his top surgery results

Which incisions he thought would work for me, stressing the things that were important to me: minimal recovery time, no free nipple grafts (I wanted to keep mine, but without risking a failed graft), and minimal chance of needing revisions

What my recovery would look like for the recommended incisions

Whether I will be getting drains (ideally, yes: drains reduce recovery time and the risk of needing revisions)

If he's had patients who have had complications (failed grafts, infections, need for revisions, etc.) and what he's done to reduce the chances of that happening again

My surgeon's results looked good (scars were even and symmetrical, healed nicely, etc.) and he answered my questions really well, so I was happy to go with him!

He recommended the fishmouth method for me, because recovery time would be minimal, there would be no need for nipple grafts, and my chest was small enough for it to work really well.

Scheduling the Surgery

My surgeon didn't have a very long waitlist, but it still took about 3 weeks for the clinic to process my request with my insurance (yes, even though I already had coverage). Once they'd processed that, they called me with a window of time I could schedule within; after a few months, insurance would no longer cover the surgery.

I got an extension, as I was working an intense summer job that I couldn't really take a few weeks off of to recover, then scheduled my surgery over the phone. They asked if I wanted a pre-op appointment, and I declined, as it'd mostly be information covered in the consultation or that could be given to me over the phone.

Preparing for Surgery

I wasn't given a check-in time for the hospital until about 2pm the day before, but they finally did call me and give me some instructions, including:

My check-in time and place

The hospital's phone number, to give to my ride/caretaker in case they had questions

That I was not to bring visitors (cause covid)

To bring my ID, insurance card, and credit card

That I was not to eat or drink anything after 12am that night (I did drink a bit of water with my meds, which they seemed fine with)

To shower with antibacterial soap the night before, and the morning of the surgery

Not to wear hair or skin products like deoderant or gel

Not to wear any jewelry, or anything else removable that wasn't just a clothing item.

When I checked into the hospital, they had my fill out some paperwork including the name and number of my ride and caretaker (which could be the same or separate people; they called the ride number when it was time to pick me up, and the caretaker number with detailed updates on my progress). Then they had me change into the hospital gown and answer some medical history questions, prepped me with an IV, and had a nurse, both anesthesiologists involved in my surgery, and my surgeon check in with me for more information and to answer any last questions I had.

I was told to use the bathroom about 20 minutes before I would be going under for my surgery (to avoid needing a catheter), and once I did, they injected some anesthetic into my IV and I passed the fuck out.

After Surgery

I showed up to the hospital at about 9am, and the prepping ended around 11am. The surgery was scheduled to end at 2pm; I wasn't conscious until about 3pm.

They had me use the restroom again (I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because it was way too soon, lmao), and I was in and out of sleep until I finally used the bathroom on my own at about 5pm. At that point I was a lot more lucid; I had some toast and pudding, and the nurse called my caretaker to go over post-op instructions with us both.

After that I dressed myself, was wheeled out to pick up my pain meds at the in-hospital pharmacy, then hopped in the car with my ride (the wonderful @lillia-pad) at about 5:30pm.

Recovery

I have a pretty high tolerance for anesthetic, so I was mostly just tired during the 36-ish hours the anesthetic continued to wear off. I didn't experience any nausea or lightheadedness either, but I was given an anti-nausea patch behind my left ear, plus some anti-nausea meds, just in case.

My post-op regimen sort of looks like this:

Take 1-2 tablets of oxycodone every 4 hours (for pain)

Take 2 tablets of laxative meds twice a day (cause pain meds cause constipation)

Empty drains twice per day, and record how much was in them

Get up and walk around every couple of hours to reduce the risk of blood clots

Ease into eating again: start with clear fluids, and work up to crackers/bread/etc., to avoid nausea and vomiting.

Lay down propped up on plenty of pillows, and only on your back (no side-sleeping!)

Keep the compression binder/gauze on for the first 48 hours, then remove them to shower as needed (but put them back on after!)

I was pretty lucid by the third day post-surgery, and was able to scale my pain meds down pretty quickly from 2 tabs on the first day, to 1 tab for the next two days, to 1/2 tab. Meds are much more important at night, when there's nothing to distract you from the pain- don't be afraid to ration them for nighttime.

Oxycodone also definitely causes drowsiness, so I took a lot of "oxy naps" about 45-60 minutes after I took my meds, which last between 20 minutes and 2 hours depending on how tired I am.

I have my post-op this week, so I will update this post with more details on my scars and healing then!

[xenteaart]

Design Flaw

Summary: “Today wasn't a good day. Your body was betraying you and you couldn't feel more useless and weak, especially knowing how annoyed the Master would always get at the inconvenience that human biology tended to cause.”

Pairing: Dhawan!Master x Reader

TW: Descriptions of pain ??? but nothing graphic, it’s basically pure fluff 

GIF: @moon-in-daylight (i think?? correct me if i’m wrong)

Note: Okay so this is my first ever fic and it’s pretty personal as well because i’ve been struggling with health and feeling powerless for a while now and I can’t really find any fics regarding that so I decided to write one myself lmao. Also English isn’t my first language so be gentle ( but also feel free to give any feedback coz I wanna improoove). Hope u enjoy!  Big big thanks to @queerconfusionthings and @ambientstars for being my betas I love you <3

The TARDIS lights went from familiar but mildly aggressive crimson to a warm orange which made it feel a little more welcoming than usual. You had a pretty good relationship with the ship all things considered - she would always lead you to the rooms you needed most and sometimes even hide you away from the Master if you needed some time to be on your own. She knew you were thankful for her looking after you, this time being no exception. Yes, she, because you could never call the TARDIS it after all she'd done for you. A rather weird dynamic to have, especially with something seemingly inanimate.

Today wasn't a good day. Your body was betraying you and you couldn't feel more useless and weak, especially knowing how annoyed the Master would always get at the inconvenience that human biology tended to cause. Travelling with him made you realize that he was, in fact, right, and a human body was way too flawed not to be some kind of cruel joke of a creation. Sometimes you wondered how you humans even made it to 70-80 years old, your lives so ridiculously fragile.

“Go away,” you said moodily, curled up on the sofa in the console room, that exact sofa you had made the Master put there since after days spent on trips and adventures you often couldn't even make it to your bedroom.

You were feeling so ill, your thinking process so heavily disrupted by pain and discomfort, you didn't even think twice about what being rude to the Master could result in. Honestly, you didn't even care and right now you would gladly take some verbal abuse because you felt like you deserved it. Sure, you didn't choose to be born human with a chronic illness but it still felt like a failure on your part. 

“Watch your tone, love, I might be tolerating it for now but don't you ever think it became acceptable,” he replied, his voice harsh but his facial expression so much softer. He knelt beside the sofa as he looked over you, assessing the damage and rolling up his sleeves while rather loudly thinking about something. You knew his thinking face all too well.

Sure, he could take you to the most advanced hospital in the universe but at the end of the day - they couldn't "fix" you exactly. There was medication to relieve the symptoms but they couldn't really change your way of being completely, so you were now stuck on the TARDIS with another flare-up, trying to breathe through the pain and waiting for your meds to kick in. You used to think that advanced medicine would allow you to swallow one pill and all of your problems would disappear at the snap of your fingers, but in reality, it was a lot more boring and disappointing. The wonderfulness of new medication was merely the fact that the risk of side effects was close to zero. But it was still no magic pill to suddenly turn you into a super human.

“Why wasn't I born a TimeLord,” you moaned, closing your eyes shut as another wave of abdominal cramps and nausea washed over you. You couldn't even tell what was hurting at this point - you felt like one big miserable mess of ache and fatigue.

The Master looked at you suspiciously.

“What, you think TimeLords can't get sick?” he chuckled quietly as if you were amusing him but you could sense he was just trying to distract you. 

“I got this Aaxogon plague once, knocked me out for a few months. Nasty stuff, blocks our ability to regenerate so we have to actually live through the whole thing until it fades away,” he continued, so obviously attempting to get yourself out of your head.

“Yeah but not like that,” you replied, interrupting him mid-sentence, your tone giving away your growing anger and frustration, “you don't get sick like that. Besides, you get to live longer, see more, learn more... And, please, don't tell me it's a curse as much as it's a gift, I'm aware of that and I still wish I could have it.”

He went silent for a whole minute, genuinely surprised at the way you saw things. 

Most humans he'd encountered were a lot more proud of their nature, taking actual offense of his degrading comments regarding the human race. You didn't. You agreed with them, simply acknowledging the facts. It wasn't personal, it was basically science, and you were an inferior being.

“Don't compare us, dear,” he finally uttered, gently covering your hand with his own and bringing your knuckles to his lips, brushing over them lightly. 

The Master's beard scratched against your skin, making it slightly irritated, but it was nice to feel something other than what you were feeling, your senses overwhelmed with your body's misbehavior.

“I don't think any less of you. It is quite infuriating how dependent you all are on food and sleep and, in your case, more rest and medication, and I do think it's a huge design flaw but I took you in for your mind, not for your body.” 

You were grateful he wasn't trying to make you feel better by lying and sugar-coating things. Not that he would ever do that for you anyways, it just wasn't him. A weak smile painted over your features.

“Now be a good girl for me and have some sleep, will you?” he added, his voice noticeably deeper and lower. Oh, you knew what he was doing. He was proving you were still desirable despite your vulnerability. Something in your chest sank, your heart probably. Ouch.

He caressed your jawline with the tips of his fingers as he contemplated whether to move up to your temples, and you were quick enough to notice his hesitation.

“A-uh, I have to give my consent first, remember? Rule number 4,” you said, a tiny bit smug and playful.

“Always so good at remembering rules, are we?” he replied with an equally obnoxious and mischievous grin. You gave him no answer and stared into his eyes, his chocolate-y orbs shamelessly mesmerizing you into obedience. You were too exhausted to put up a fight, or maybe you just wanted to think it was your excuse this time.

“Yeah, okay, fine, do the thing, I consent,” you rolled your eyes and winced very soon after, gritting your teeth at another flash of pain, “but promise you're gonna be here when I wake up.”

“Promise.”

Something wet and warm landed on your cheek and you realized he was kissing you goodnight. The familiar feeling of his mind against yours was slowly taking over and you gave in willingly, allowing him to envelope you with his burning but caring consciousness.

“Being a TimeLord is not as great as it might seem. Especially when you’re the last of them,” he whispered as his telepathy was gently putting you to sleep. 

You were already drifting away when you heard him, and with an enormous amount of effort you managed to wrap your hand around his index finger, that being a wordless gesture of support and empathy. The Master knew you would say something if you weren’t already passing out, and looked at your now childishly intertwined hands with a hint of amusement and gratitude.  

“My silly human” - echoed in your mind before you completely let go of your consciousness.

[keoghans]

Hey Chuck

Hello and welcome to this Chuck Grant fanfic. I always loved this dude, and I see little to no work about him, so, I took it upon myself to do fic about him. I invented a character, his love interest, because I cant write reader insert, I just, it bothers the fuck out of me to write like that lmao. 

Special mentions for @notmykirk @liebthots @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @alphapockets for proofreading, giving ideas and helping a distressed, nervous writer lol, you lot were brilliant!

This is super angsty, but also filled with fluff and stupid cliches. 

Pairing: Chuck Grant x OC

Warnings: angst, shitloads of angst. Mention of rape. Slight, non-explicit smut. Cursing.  

Word Count: 12k (I know, IM SORRY)

Epilogue 

Three knocks and an anxious wait.

The door was opened by the tall ginger that didn’t seem to ever age. 

“Hannah Davis! What brings you here?” he exclaimed with a broad smile as he hugged her smaller frame. 

“How are you, sir? You look great!” she replied and he furrowed his eyebrows at her answer.

“Hannah, the war is over, it has been for a while, I go by Richard, Rich, or Dick, please,” he said, as he let her in his house. He sounded the same, warm, emphatic, funny. 

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” she replied, checking out his living room. He lived in a beautiful, tall house, very homey. It had a fireplace on and a half finished drink on the nearby table. 

“My wife went to visit her brother, a man that’s never approved of me, so I stayed back,” he explained, serving another drink for her. 

“I remember when you first told me that he wasn’t fond of you and I wondered, how the hell does someone not like Dick Winters?” she replied and they both chuckled. 

“Her parents like me, and so does she, so… it doesn’t really matter”. 

Hannah didn’t marry post war, and it had been only a year, but most of Easy Company was already having children, marrying or at least dating. 

She had her heart set on someone but she had lost all contact with him and the Army didn’t help her trying to get what she needed.

So, after an hour and a half of reminiscing about the war, about Austria and the Eagle’s Nest, Winters caught up to her.

“Hannah, with all due respect… I know this isn’t just a casual visit, or you would’ve brought Luz or someone else with you,” he started, trailing off for her to speak. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, the man had always been prone to read people like a piece of paper. She struggled for a few seconds, her nerves coming back to her, scratching the back of her head absentmindedly.

“I’ve been trying to find someone… Someone from the Company, and I don’t want to ask the rest of the men because… Well, if this fails, I don’t want it to be gossip between them; and the Army couldn’t help me, they cannot give out information about former paratroopers,” she explained. 

“I have all of the men’s information with me, so, who are you looking for? Though—some information can be outdated, I haven’t updated it in a couple of years,” Dick said, looking for an old black book that had ‘Easy’ embroidered in the front.

“Say the name.”

“Uh… Charles Grant—NCO Chuck Grant.” 

Rick smiled softly, looking down as he looked for his name in his book. 

“What?” she asked, slightly embarrassed. He knew.

“Nothing. Sergeant Grant is an exceptional man, I felt deeply for him when he got shot,” he explained and placed a ruler under his name, handing the notebook to Hannah.

“I know he is, that’s why I’m looking for him,” she said, looking down at his name, copying the information of his address and phone number. 

Richard looked at her with his usual witty, warm smile. 

“Thank you, Dick” she said, closing the notebook and giving it back.

“Like my wife would say, ‘go get him’.”

///

Hannah had Chuck’s address and phone for a month and a half. 

Every time she thought about calling him, or showing up at his place, fear shook her body and threw her back to square one. She had taken a cab to her former Major in the Paratroopers for forty five minutes to find a man’s address and she couldn’t actually talk to him. 

Hannah laid in her bed, after a long day at the hospital. She was eating leftover carrot cake she had made a week ago, feeling dreadful, looking at the little paper with Chuck’s name sitting on her bedside table, and remembered the many times they shared. 

Bastogne was the coldest hell Hannah had ever experienced, and she knew it was never leaving her head after everything that transpired.

The trees exploded every now and again. As desperation settled inside each mind, everyone started wondering which was getting killed next. 

Then the casualties came: Joe Toye and Guarnere lost each other one leg to mortars, Don Hoobler accidentally shot himself in the leg and the blood loss took his life. Muck and Penkala got blown to pieces by another mortar. 

She had tried to save as many lives as possible as she had to shoot Germans from afar, fearing death every single second she moved around the snow covered forest.

She had short moments of peace, and most were laying in a foxhole, trying to gather some warmth, next to Chuck. 

Her body shook as she blew into her hands, trying to gain back feeling on her fingertips when Charles looked at her and grabbed her hands without a word, covering them with his calloused fingers, scooting closer to her. 

She was slightly taken aback. 

Chuck wasn’t a man of many words, he communicated more with his eyes and small expressions. He politely smiled at her as he rubbed his hands against her. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, nuzzling her chin deeper into her scarf that was tucked into her jumpsuit. 

Chuck just looked at her and kept rubbing their hands together. She noticed her blue eyes looking bright from the full moon shining down the forest. 

“I always hated the winter time, back in the states… and now more,” Chuck said, breaking the silence between them. 

“I know, I prefer to be burning under the sun rather than freezing my butt off.” 

“Cold beers,” he added.

“The beach.”

“Dipping into a river or the sea.”

Both exchanged small smiles. 

Chuck had always noticed Hannah, and stared silently at her many times, but barely exchanged a few words in the second year of their training, when she arrived in Toccoa. He knew she was Shifty’s friend, and someone who Winters relied on and trusted from what Powers had said to help her get into the Paratroopers. 

And she had proved herself useful, not only as a doctor, but as a sharpshooter, taking down snipers that others didn’t notice at first. She used to compete with Shifty on how many Krauts took down each.

Hannah always knew who he was, she remembered every and each name of the company, by nicknames mostly. He definitely called for her attention; he was polite, shy, only mustered a few jokes here and there, not like Luz, who couldn’t speak without joking. 

But she was never as interested in him until he helped her find warmth in a shattering cold in Belgium. 

Hannah remembered that with a smile—their first and probably closest interaction. It only took snow, people dying around them and a whole war for it to happen.

Friday, she thought, Friday would be a good thing for me to approach his house if, luckily, he didn’t move out before. 

///

Anxiety. Lots of. 

Hannah wasn’t on call at the hospital on Friday. She and her best friend, scheduled everything.

Angelina made sure she couldn’t back out of looking for the former paratrooper. She had helped her pick an outfit, helped with her hair, the whole ordeal. 

“Okay, go, go! It’s barely past noon, it’s a beautiful day, maybe y’all can go for a walk,” angelina said, taking a sip from her lemonade. 

Hannah was barely talking, her hands shook, she felt her pits damp with sweat, with a tight knot in her stomach. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay… I’m going, whatever, what could go wrong, what the fuck, he could only think I’m a fucking stalker, whatever right? Fuck—.”

“Oh my god, get out, I’ll take care of Trigger, let him have a stroll, and if by any chance you spend the night there—” she said, with a wink— “call me so I’ll stay and give Trigger his morning walkies,” Angelina commanded as she pushed Hannah through the door. 

“Good luck, honey!” She yelled as Hannah dragged her feet through the hot cement under the July sun. 

Every little thing that could go wrong played in her mind as she walked. Grant lived roughly twenty blocks away from her but she still wanted to walk there, to make it as slow as possible. 

Hannah checked the address in the small, torn piece of paper she had it written on and looked for 1612 for a bit, until she finally saw it.

It was a beautiful, tall white house, with a dark grey roof, a small porch with a couple of rocking chairs. A lot of small pots with flowers and different plants covered most of the front of the porch, which made Hannah think that there was clearly a woman living there. 

That made fear struck her again.

He’s probably married, there are rocking chairs and plants… none of the men of the paratroopers cared about fucking plants, why would Charles be any different? 

Fuck it.

Hannah shook her head, her curls moving along, stomped the ground after pondering for a couple of minutes, away from the house and took a few deep breaths before she walked up the three steps before the door and, with a shaky breath, knocked three times and took a step back, giving the door her back. 

She could sense her muscles completely tense, everywhere, arms, legs, stomach, and wondered why the hell she never got her anxiety completely treated like her PTSD from the war. 

What if a woman opened the door? I’d pretend I got the wrong house and run for the fucking hills. 

“Yes?” a deep voice said from behind her. 

Hannah could’ve swore her heart stopped for a split second.

She turned in her heel with the riddled feeling in her stomach when she met those bright blue eyes and the permanently tanned skin of Sergeant of Second Platoon, Charles Grant. 

His usual disheveled look was intact, she noticed, the droopy eyes and the resting annoyed face that was his trademark was still there, but it did change in a moment when he realized quickly who she was. His eyes widened as his jaw dropped slightly. 

“Hannah? Hannah Davis?!” he exclaimed, opening the door wider, taking a step forward shyly. 

Hannah swore her heart was thumping against her chest like a hammer, and was actually afraid Chuck would notice it. But all he did was try to find the words, stuttering slightly as he took a look at her.

“Hey, Chuck,” she said, trying to find her voice back from somewhere in her throat. 

Charles let a single chuckle out of his mouth before, sort of awkwardly, pulled her for a hug, crossing his left arm around her torso and the other one, around the shoulders.

Hannah was a hundred percent sure her heart could arrest at any moment and die right there. The man was hugging her. And she was hugging him back, the same way, when his perfume surrounded her and she closed her eyes for a moment, lingering her head above his shoulder, every single feeling she had ever felt for him rushing back into her stomach, untying the knot slightly, filling it with butterflies. 

“What a surprise! Come on in,” he said, as they parted, moving aside so she could walk inside first. 

Clean, super clean. The fact that the house was so clean yelled wife! in Hannah’s face. But she shook the thoughts aside, trying to focus on walking and trying not to bump into anything and make a mess of herself in front of Chuck. 

“You like it? I’ve been trying to decorate myself but… I don’t know, looks shitty to me still,” he added, standing next to her as she looked at old signs of tobacco brands, and a couple of paintings up white walls, complemented with an olive couch with three seats, a coffee table and a TV in front. 

And books, everywhere. Different sized, colored, some put in a small library in the corner, near the couch. Some were sprawled over on the coffee table and one on the couch, open and faced down. 

She took the books as the cue to find out and get it over with. 

“You and—and your wife must read a lot,” she said, sniggering internally as she awaited for an answer. 

Chuck let out a hearty chuckle, looking suddenly a bit embarrassed at her. 

“Uh, I’m not married,” he said, forming a thin-lipped, awkward smile on his lips. Hannah felt how her shoulders relaxed at the information.

“Oh—sorry, it’s just… It looks very homey, and you know, women do that work mostly,” she said, trying to sound innocent. 

“I learned a bit from my mom, and I found out that I really enjoy gardening and plants in general, that’s why there’s that many on the outside porch. Luz told me I was becoming a woman, I said, ‘what’s wrong with being a woman’?” Chuck said, scratching the back of his neck. 

“He fought side by side with one, and he still says that crap?” Hannah asked, remembering George Luz, the clown of the company. “Fuck him, I like how it looks, it’s homey and… looks warm, you know?”

Chuck nodded his head proudly, trying to shoot down a smile that tried to creep up, slightly blushing. 

“Listen, I was roasting some chicken, are you hungry? I have beers, too,” he said, pulling her by her wrist softly. This touch sent electricity up Hannah’s arm as she nodded silently, following him. 

She was sort of surprised by his cheerfulness. He was a very lowkey man, never spoke too loud, unless he wanted to mock one of his peers with Luz or Guarnere. He fumbled around the kitchen for a bit, before going through the back door to the backyard, where he had a barbecue against the wall.

And she could see him work, cutting up the chicken while it was still roasting, and noticed how he hadn’t put up any weight since coming back from the war, or losing any from the anxiety and PTSD. He had kept in form, his arms still big, as his shoulders, the black sleeves of the shirt sticking tight against them. 

Jesus, stop that! 

Lost in her thoughts, looking around the kitchen, she didn’t notice Chuck was back with two small sandwiches in hand, leaving them on a couple of plates as he quickly moved to grab two Crystals. 

“My brother taught me this amazing sauce, and it’s like pulled pork, but pulled chicken,” he explained, almost proudly of his handiwork. Hannah smiled and took a bite on it. 

Instantly, she had to suppress a moan that was about to fall out of her full mouth, as she widened her eyes at him. He smiled as he chewed and nodded his head like saying I know, right? 

After downing her bite with a bit of beer, Hannah finally breathed out to compliment his food, making Chuck blush again. 

“So, uh… what brings you here? Did you need anything?” Chuck asked, taking a sip of his beer again. 

I wanted to confess that I had feelings for you since you helped me warm up in a foxhole in Bagstone and you saved my ass when I got shot and you dragged me into a jeep to be taken away for a bit to heal, and I always wanted to kiss you for that but I’m such a fucking wuss, I never even dared to flirt. 

“Oh, no, no, I didn’t come to ask any favors, no,” she replied, chuckling nervously, “I—I’m gonna be honest with you; when we came back from Europe, I knew you had to do some recovery from the shot you took, that would need rehabilitation and… I was dealing with so much I couldn’t stay and I felt like shit for a long while for that—Shit, this sounds like I’m doing this to sleep better at night but no, I just want to say: I’m sorry, I should’ve been there like you were when I lost my ear to a kraut bullet, Chuck, I’m really sorry, and I wanted to check on you, see how you were doing…” 

It wasn’t a complete lie, Hannah knew that, but she still felt like what she needed to actually say was heavy in her chest. 

Chuck smiled, and turned his head slightly, pulling his hair up a bit. 

“The scar goes all the way to the back of my head, I—I should’ve died by the extent of my wound, but, it was mostly sup—superficial. My left arm is partially paralyzed,” he explained, lifting both arms at the same time but the left one was left behind as the right kept going up. “And sometimes it’s hard to s—” he closed his eyes as he struggled to say the word, his tongue frozen in the roof of his mouth for a couple of seconds— “speak, like, right now.” 

Hannah looked sorry, like a dog with a tail between its hind legs, feeling ashamed. 

“Don’t feel bad, I had my family and some of the men to help me, and very good doctors too, really, it’s not like you had to take care of me, you know,” Chuck added, grinning warmly at her. “George, Doc Roe and Speirs came almost daily to help, I was set; speaking of wounds, how’s the ear?”

Hannah moved her hair away to show him the scarred and dusty pink skin that reattached to her head after it got blown off in the Battle of the Bulge. 

Bullets and mortars were falling down the territory Easy Company covered. As much as anyone avoids talking about fear, they were all terrorized; the lack of winter gear, clothes, ammo, and food kept them all weak.

Hannah and Chuck were shooting non-stop, both with shaky breaths as they were still covered under a wool blanket, where only the gun and their eyes could be seen. 

“Hannah! Hannah, go help Shifty!” she heard Lip call her as he ran past. She sighed, not wanting to be any closer to the flying gunshots that were showering horizontally on them. 

“Go, it’s okay, go!” Chuck exclaimed, looking at her swiftly as he kept shooting. 

Hannah groaned in annoyance but still climbed up the hole. 

Chuck watched at her go, though her walk got cut short. She froze in her place and he knew something was wrong, and in a split second, she was on the cold ground, yelling her lungs out.

“Shit, shit, shit, hold on, Hannah! Medic!! Medic!!” he yelled as he let his rifle in the hole, crawling to check on the brunette. 

As soon as he turned her body around, his face grimaced in shock. She had blood flowing from her side into her cheek, eyes and mouth, as she gasped for a breath, steam coming from her mouth from the sheering cold. 

He moved her hair slowly, uncovering what was left of her ear, hanging from skin threads, almost completely shredded from her skull. It was an awful view, and the crimson liquid kept flowing and flowing. 

“What is it? Let me see, Grant, move!” Eugene Roe exclaimed, pushing the other soldier aside, checking the wound thoroughly. Hannah had stopped yelling, shock had settled in her body, covering her from the pain. 

“It’s superficial, but you will need someone to cut off the rest. Help me get her to the jeep, Grant,” he said after covering the hole with sulfate and a white bandage that went across her face. 

“Hannah, you’re going to be just fine, stay with us, come on!” Eugene yelled as Chuck lifted her from her back and legs, her face falling into his shoulder, bleeding on his jacket. 

Chuck glanced at her every few moments as he ran to where her ride was stationed, she looked paler by the second that passed, her eyes were closing and he had to keep calling at her to stay awake.

“Hannah, come on, come on, stay with me, stay with me!”

When she was finally strapped down the bed on the front of the sheet, he held her hand for a second before she was pulled away, disappearing into the woods as he had to ran back to his foxhole and keep defending their territory. 

But he kept wondering and wondering about her, until she came back two days after. 

“You came back almost good as new, ear-less, stitched up,” Chuck said, reminiscing.

“And I had to tolerate thousands of ear related jokes for weeks, and got called ‘Earnnah’ too” Hannah said, making them both laugh.

“Fucking Luz and his nicknames,” Charles said, shrugging.

“Anyways, I still don’t have an ear, but the flu I was going through had clogged my eardrum and saved me from being deaf on one side, right?” Hannah added, lifting her beer bottle to cheer for that.

“To the flu, baby!” he said and both drank.

A couple of hours went by and both Chuck and Hannah were already feeling more comfortable in each other’s presence. They laughed about some anecdotes, and updated on their current lifestyles.

“So, a tobacco store?” Hannah said, standing under the sun in the backyard, enjoying the warmth of a summer afternoon, much more relaxed. 

“Yeah, it was my post war dream, and I finally gathered what I needed to open it, it’s in downtown, 5th ave and Charleston. It’s cosy, small, but good enough to sell small things,” Chuck explained, clearly proud of his achievement. “You should come by sometime”. 

“I would, but I quit smoking a few weeks ago,” Hannah replied and Chuck looked surprised. 

“Really?” he asked, propping himself against a column he had set to sustain a small roof he had put up in his yard. 

“Yeah, but I’ll probably hit withdrawal soon and I’ll go back to square one quickly,” she replied, mocking herself and her power of will, making Chuck laugh.

“You still sing?” Chuck asked, and she knew exactly why he asked. “I still remember when we found that piano in the Eagle’s Nest, and you sang a few songs to us,” he said and a very small grin creeped up his lips, looking down at his hands. 

That was one of Hannah’s proudest moments. 

“I do remember that, and I still sing, yeah.”

The war had lightened up, somehow. 

Easy Company was on the works to clear the way into the old Nazi Town of Kehlsteinhaus, where they knew, at the top of the mountain, resides the crown jewel of the Nazi Party. A very glamorous house made only for Hitler and his closests friends. 

Winters dictated for the Easy Company to head straight to the Eagle’s Nest, after raiding the town and finding a place to settle for a bit. 

Hannah heard Speirs yelling the orders and they didn’t even think for a second before they started running up the mountain road towards the House. She ran next to Chuck, Popeye and Malarkey. 

They entered the premises slowly, looking around for Krauts, their guns up in arms. And all of them were surprised by the size of the place from the inside. 

It had grey walls, with bay windows every few meters, the sun shining through, illuminating the whole place. There were a few tables with a few chairs each, some silver plates and vases scattered around the living room, a fireplace, and on the far end, a grand, black and shiny piano. 

Hannah was immediately drawn to it, forgetting about the men popping bottles of champagne they found lying around, remembering instantly the songs her grandfather had once taught her when she was younger. 

The boys weren’t paying attention until they heard the first few notes Hannah pressed on. 

“Davis, you can play?” Spiers asked her as they got closer. 

I waited till I saw the sun, don’t know why I didn’t come

Hannah started singing, as a way to reply Speirs. 

Chuck was certainly taken aback by her singing voice, she had never mentioned before she could do that, that she had even learned or anything she did apart from training for the paratroopers and hang with Shifty. 

When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching teardrops in my hand

Her fingers seemed to be dancing around the keys like she had been doing that for a lifetime, as her voice shone through the notes she played. There was a sudden peace brought by the song, which no one could remember having heard before that moment. 

Chuck sensed his body relaxing, as he looked at the brunette who met his eyes not too long after.

My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever

For a fleeting moment, Chuck felt no one was there but him and Hannah, as she kept singing, his breath catching in his chest, leaving him breathless. He knew he had been looking at Hannah with different eyes for a while, but he never actually realized it completely until that moment. 

Something has to make you run

I don't know why I didn't come

I feel as empty as a drum

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come

“From then on, you guys would ask me to sing every time we found a piano laying somewhere in the abandoned cottages,” Hannah remembered, smiling at the memory. 

“Well, you do have a beautiful voice that puts everyone at ease, you know,” he complimented and Hannah could feel how her pulse accelerated at his compliment, cursing herself internally for being so weak for her former NCO. 

“It's mid-afternoon, care for a tea?” Charles asked, when he noticed her blushing, not answering his compliment, knowing he had hit somewhere inside her with it. 

“I can make a quick cake with anything you have in your kitchen, if you want to…” Hannah said, almost rushedly, trying to cover her tracks. Yeah, that doesn’t sound weird at all, Hannah, you fucking wuss, offering to bake a cake after a couple of hours chatting and trying to cover your stupid feelings, sure, yeah. 

“Kitchen’s all yours,” Chuck said with a grin, looking for his kettle to boil water while Hannah looked for her ingredients for a classic vanilla cake. 

As Hannah whisked the ingredients, Chuck served two mugs with boiling tea, placing one next to her as he watched her focused in his kitchen. 

“I swear, most men of the company don’t have all this stuff laying in their kitchen,” she said, still looking down at the mix.

“I’m not most men,” Chuck replied and both chuckled at his comment. “Oh, look here,” he said suddenly, making Hannah turn around.

A black cat with a small bell in his neck walked in, stretching its legs, and walked up to Chuck, placing its front paws in the dirty blonde legs. 

“This is Roe, I got him a few months ago, he walked in with a broken hind leg and never left this house,” Chuck explained, taking the cat into his arms, which made him start purring loudly. Hannah proceeded to pet him, sliding her fingertips slowly in the soft fur of the head. 

“He’s so handsome!” 

“Thank you,” replied Charles, earning a small slap in his arm by Hannah, who chuckled as she kept petting the kitty. 

“You saying you took care of this kitty reminded me of that nun who changed my bandages in Foye, in that church, remember that? She came straight to me, wondering how a woman is in the Forces, and silently, pulled my face and cleaned me up,” Hannah said, remembering the face of the woman in the black typical suit of a nun. 

“She didn’t treat anyone but you, which was either great or very selfish of her,” Chuck said, jokingly.

“She was in a convent, they take care of women mostly, and I am one, so…” she trailed off, wanting to slap the grin out of his face as she felt her heart melting to the view of Chuck, holding a cat between his arms like a child. My uterus is flipping about. “It’s not like no one took care of you boys.” 

“What are you talking about?” Chuck wondered. 

“Holland. All those women, and food, and drinks, and praising,” Hannah said as she put the mix in the oven. She could hear Charles laughing at her comments.

 “I wasn’t doing anything there, I did accept food though.” 

“Oh, Chuck, come on, I saw you with that blonde that was taller than you, kissing you non-stop,” Hannah exclaimed, way too quickly for her comfort, and turned around, pretending to check on the oven temperature; Could you be any more obvious, Hannah, dear?

“You sound jealous,” Chuck replied, with a smirk and furrowed eyebrows.

“I—okay, yes, I was; everyone was treating you all like goddamn heroes and whatnot, while I got questionable looks and fingers pointing at me for being a woman in a uniform… Hell, they must have thought I was the squad’s whore or something,” she defended herself, trying to not blow her cover that easy in front of his intense eyes looking at her from a few meters. 

Chuck felt bad for a moment. He knew she was proud of being the first woman fighting alongside men in a war, knowing she had earned the respect of many, many people, but there was still a long way to go to be accepted by the population in general. 

“Yeah, I wanted someone to kiss me too and give me drinks, I deserved that too, I didn’t have any physical contact with anyone as much as y’all in that time,” Hannah kept going, the anxiousness to cover herself up from showing feelings almost drowning her. 

“I’m sure you would’ve gotten a kiss if you just asked,” replied Chuck, taking a sip from his tea while still holding Roe. “I would have if you asked me.”

Did my heart just stop? Did it just… really stop? Quick, don’t linger in silence too much!

“You’ve always been such a gentleman, Grant, but that was impossible. First, we were in the Forces together and that was very forbidden. Second, I couldn’t ask people for that, that’s just sad and I didn’t look like any of the women there, my hair wasn’t done, I was wearing our uniform and probably didn’t smell the best there,” Hannah clarified, trying to not sound too rushed again. 

“Okay, yeah, partially true, but you don’t need to be all fixed up to be pretty, though.”

He knows and now he wants to play soccer with my fucking heart. Goodness, I hope he doesn’t know.

“To be honest, it’s not like I came back to the states and started dating and whatnot… I did adopt a dog, his name is Trigger, like the one Tab had back in the day,” Hannah said, trying to clear herself. “Oh, and Tab asked me out like a year ago,” she suddenly remembered. 

“Floyd?! R—really?” Chuck asked, clearly surprised. 

“Yeah, he showed up once, with flowers and everything. It was so sweet but Tab is like my little brother, so I let him down slowly and luckily, he accepted it and we’re still friends,” she explained, remembering how disappointed he looked for a second before she explained herself to him and he took it with humour and saved their friendship from awkwardness. 

All the while, Chuck laughed heartily. 

“What? Oh, don’t laugh at him! He’s so sweet, he was always nice with me, even when most doubted the presence of a woman at war, come on,” Hannah defended Talbert, throwing a paper towel ball straight to his face. 

“Hey! No need to get violent!” Chuck retaliated, throwing it back at her. “I can’t believe little ol’ Tab asked you out,” he added, chuckling. 

“You’re all always making fun of people who ask me out or flirt with me,” Hannah added, a sneer creeping up her lips. “Remember that one British soldier?” 

The Company had saved a hundred and forty brit soldiers, without any casualties. Everyone walked back to camp cheerfully but in silence until they entered the barn. 

Hannah didn’t feel as cheerful as the rest. She had been carrying a small infection under her tongue for a few days and cramps were attacking her every now and again, which she didn’t share with anyone trying to avoid some sexist comment about the nature of women. 

Booze was being passed around the brits and the company as everyone cheered and applauded for their exceptional work. Hannah did enjoy seeing all the grins and wide smiles spread around, while she stood in the side, leaning against a thin wooden column, rubbing her back to ease the pain. 

“Moose Heyliger and the American 101st have done the Red Devils a great service, making it possible for us to return and fight the enemy another day,” the captain of the British soldiers exclaimed to the crowd of paratroopers and the Red Devils. “To Easy Company, victory, and Currahee!”

Everyone cheered, drinking profusely, laughing and all around happy, until the same captain interrupted them for a second.

“Oh, and let us not forget to cheer for one more thing: the first woman in the Forces who was part of this mission, Miss…” 

Hannah wasn’t paying attention, she was completely zoned out on the side, until she heard her name being called a few times. She looked up to the Captain, who had his drink up and looking at her.

“Oh—Oh, Hannah, Hannah Davis!” she replied, a little startled. 

“To Hannah Davis!” The cheers erupted once again, but everyone was now looking at Hannah, who blushed furiously at the attention she was receiving. She just gave them all a tight lipped smile, her eyes drifting from one side to another. 

“So, congratulations are in order, ma’am.” A thick British accent interrupted Hannah’s thoughts a while after she had been cheered on. She turned around to find a tall man with a buzz cut, his red beret and a pointy nose. And a very warm smile. 

“Thank you, private…?”

“Joe Seaward, and it’s Sergeant now,” he clarified, taking his beret off as he took a drink. “How is the Force treating you? Good, I hope?”

“Very good, sir, they feel like family already. At first it was weird for them, but I was vouched for by the Battalion chief, and one of the men, who is an old friend from his hometown,” she replied, feeling slightly intimidated by the brit. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable. And hometown! Where would that be, if I may ask?” 

“Atlanta, Georgia. Can I ask you where are you from?” she asked, looking up at him. Hannah could feel the eyes of Easy on them, but she didn’t dare to look back at them. 

“Birmingham, born and raised,” Joe replied, looking proud. “Uh, anyone expecting you back home?” he suddenly asked, and Hannah understood what he was referring to. 

“No, apart from family, no one special,” she replied, and just got interrupted by another voice yelling at them.

“Sergeant Seaward! We’re leaving, come on!” Joe looked annoyed all of a sudden. 

“Well, ma’am, if this isn’t too forward, when this war is over, and luckily, we’re both still alive and well, why don’t you stay in England for a while and… maybe we can go to dinner together?” He said, rushing as he took a few steps back. 

Hannah thought for a second and, feeling like she had nothing to lose and after not being flirted by anyone in two years, she replied “Sure, Sergeant, if we both survive…”. 

Joe smirked deeply and quickly found a paper and a battered small pencil, scribbling in it and placed it in her hands, before kissing the back of it. 

“You’ll find me with that. Take care, Hannah Davis! Cheerio!” 

Hannah felt like a child meeting her first crush, blushing, with a dumb smile in her face, until she heard the sniggering paratroopers behind her. 

“What?” she asked, already looking annoyed at them as she turned to find them in a half circle around her.

“What was that ‘bout, Davis?” Bull asked with one lifted eyebrow. 

“Nothing–”

“Not nothing, that brit was flirting with you!” Liebgott exclaimed, his lip curled as his eyes darted between the door of the barn and her. 

“The fuck is the problem with that?” Hannah asked.

“No fraternization with soldiers in the Forces,” Chuck added, looking down at his hands. 

“Oh, fuck all of you. It’s the first time someone comes and tells me I’m pretty in two years, when y’all had women throwing themselves at you back at Eindhoven!” Hannah defended herself, shutting them all up. “It’s not like I’m actually going to do something about it, I might be dead tomorrow anyways”. 

“He looks stupid and he’s a brit, we’re all a better catch than him!” Martin added, inflating his chest. 

“The only decent man here is Doc Roe, and you all know that for a fact. I’m going to sleep for a bit, goodnight” she said, walking away from them, breaking the half circle without looking back. 

“I still have that small, battered piece of paper with me, but I never went to see him,” Hannah added, smirking at the thought. “I should’ve stayed in England and find him, honestly”. 

Chuck frowned, “why? Was he really that interesting?”. 

“He was sweet, he had a very attractive accent and hell, how many men do you know that say ‘cheerio!’ When saying goodbye?” Hannah defended Sergeant Seaward.

“Oh, stop talking talking about him already” Chuck said, dismissing her comments with a frown.

“Who’s jealous now, huh?” Hannah joked, pushing him slightly. Chuck just laughed bitterly.

///

Chuck showed her around the house, apologizing for forgetting to do a tour when she first came in.

He showed him some old pictures he had from high school that his mom had taken of him, some of his own family, and even a photo from a high school girlfriend he still had. Charles told him they were still in contact because her family was close to his, until he went to the war and she moved out of the usual address. 

“It’s like the time I was away, fighting, home became a black hole in my memory, like…It couldn’t possibly exist at the same time I was away.” 

Hannah enjoyed learning more from his past, and suddenly wondered if he had ever known what happened and how Easy reacted when they found out he had gotten shot. 

Charles was looking down at a picture when she popped the question. 

“Chuck, did you uh—did anyone ever tell you what happened with Easy when you… When that replacement shot you?” 

He suddenly took a seat on the couch, looking up at her. There was something on his eyes that she couldn’t decipher, but it was between fear and curiosity; his fingers went to linger over his scar absentmindedly. 

“No, I—the guys never told me anything, and I didn’t dare to ask, honestly.” 

“Do you, uh… Do you want to know?” Hannah asked. Chuck nodded, his lips seeming sewn shut. She took a seat next to him, the air suddenly completely filled with tension. 

“Well, you had patrol and we were relaxing in the house, playing cards, some asleep, most smoking and chatting about the end of the war. Also about the points, but, that’s not important.”

“Then, the door of the living room burst open with a pale, very pale and shook Tab. ‘Grant got shot in the head’ was the first thing he muttered. You know, there wasn’t any music around us, but it seemed like it had stopped. The relaxing atmosphere was cut off like when the lights go out with a switch.” Chuck was staring at her, his attention fully on her. 

“But we didn’t have that much time to like… process. Floyd had received orders to find the shooter, and we practically went around the whole town and the ones nearby looking for him. We had the order to bring him alive but neither wanted to lose the chance to put a bullet in him. We were organized in groups, and we divided in three or four people each.”

“We ended up finding him still in Zell Am See. Malarkey found him with Bull and Lieb, they found him trying—” She took a pause, her stomach turning slightly at the memory— “trying to rape an Austrian girl. She was saved, thankfully, and he was brought back to the house where he took the beating of his lifetime”

By that point, Chuck jaw was opened, but his eyes seemed calmer, somehow.

“Did you beat him too?” he asked. Hannah suddenly broke eye contact, looking down at her fingernails fidgeting together.

“Yes, but I only punched him, the rest did the real beating… I was so angry when I found out he was in the house, I burst through the door and went straight with my knuckles to his jaw. I had my hand bruised for weeks. You were away at that point, Speirs and Roe had found a Kraut brain surgeon and got him to work in you as soon as they could. But we didn’t know if you were alive or not. After the rest took their turn with the replacement, Speirs had come back, saying the surgeon confirmed you were going to be okay; then they dragged the son of a bitch over to the MP’s.”

Hannah felt ashamed, her body seemed to be burning when the memories of that moment revived in her.

“I was so scared you were gonna die, Chuck… I wasn’t there when Speirs confirmed you were going to be okay, and I just—I lost it at that moment,” she added, a knot forming in her throat. “Lieb found me, while I was sitting in a room upstairs, on a bed, in the dark, cursing and crying. It wasn’t only you that made me cry, but… I cared about you, you know. You were my friend, we went through the worst together and I thought I had lost y—,” Hannah’s voice broke, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Hey, hey, Hannah, I’m here, aren’t I?” Chuck said, scooting closer, placing a hand on her knee and another rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that…”

At that, Hannah snorted while she teared up.

“What are you apologizing for? For getting shot? Jesus, Charles, you didn’t ask for it, did you?” she joked through the tears and broken voice, making both laugh cynically. Hannah lifted her head and looked at him, and noticed how his eyes were watery. He sniffed as he tried to recompose himself, his hands never leaving the brunette.

“No, I know, but… I’m okay, you s—see? I just speak like I’m dumb or something now,” he joked. 

Suddenly, something took over Hannah and she hugged him, with her arms surrounding his shoulders completely. Chuck was taken aback at first, but he then wrapped his arms around her waist and stayed there for a moment, neither muttered a word, only sniffs and breathing could be heard. 

Hannah laughs, then smiles down at the picture of a younger Chuck. Some things change, and some things stay the same forever. Chuck is one of those things that never changes.

After a while, after a hug that helped both recompose and even sort of heal wounds that can’t be seen, they went back to rummage through old photos. 

“Oh, look at this one,” Chuck said, pulling a picture from his teenage years, where he was in just his underwear, surrounded by kids holding different pieces of clothing cheerfully “that was in the middle of summer, we were trying to fight the heat with water balloons and I got so soaked, my brother and my friends convinced me to take them off so they could dry. Me, being stupid and young, did so and they stole them and ran away.” 

Hannah laughed loudly, looking at Charles with apologetic eyes.

“How could you be so naive?” She asked, between laughs. 

“Hey, if I remember correctly, you got your clothes stolen once, in Haguenau! And you know it sucks, doesn’t it?” Chuck replied, jabbing his index on Hannah’s arm. 

Hannah had survived Bastogne, with the scarring of her life and one less ear. Everyone was changed, they had lost many men there, including Toye and Guarnere, Muck and Penkala, and lost Buck to shellshock. 

These days passed with nothing much to do but waiting for orders, some training, and finally, after the snow had passed, winter clothes. 

Second Platoon was stationed in a tall, two-story house, with many rooms, filled with beds and some tables. It was battered, most wallpapers looked torn, and the smell of humidity and gunpowder filling everyone’s nostrils.

On a cold morning, Hannah came back to the second floor, where Malarkey was introducing the new Lieutenant Jones to the men.

“Sir?” her voice, smaller than ever, turned everyone around. Some had to take a second look to be sure what they were looking at. 

“What happened to you?!” Don exclaimed, his jaw dropped. 

Hannah was shirtless. She was holding herself trying to keep the warmth of her body, with only a bra, pants and boots on. She looked red in the face, from the shame. Hannah could sense the eyes on her body, taking notice of every single scar she was sporting, and the bandage that was covering one on the side of her hip. 

“I was changing bandages, I turned for a second to get the sulfate and I heard someone running and laughing. I thought there were just some men playing around but they had taken my clothes, sir…” she explained. Everyone could hear the anger in her voice, her jaw clenching tight. 

“Jesus fuck,” Malarkey muttered, while Chuck proceeded to pull the sweater he used under his jacket and quickly helped Hannah put it on. “Lieb, MccLung, Jackson, go find the fuckers who did this, report to Speirs”. 

“I’m sorry, Malark, I—I didn’t want to make any trouble, really, I—,”

“No, don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, okay? Here, it probably smells but it’s better than nothing, I’ll have someone find some clothes if they don’t find yours,” Malarkey said, giving her his scarf, and went back to speak with Lt. Jones, who only nodded to her as a salute. 

“Come on, we made some coffee,” said Chuck, pulling her to where the kettle was in a corner. “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah,” was all she said, hiding herself in her copper mug, drinking the awful coffee they have been given. Then Chuck did something that she wasn’t expecting, but calmed her nerves quite quickly: his palm met the top of her head, and ran down her hair slowly. 

Hannah had seen the men do that to each other, when they had panic attacks or after the death of a fellow soldier, they would hold their heads or run their fingers through their hair. It seemed like a paternal way to hold them close and not let them fall into the abyss of desperation war brings in people. 

And now she felt it herself. Chuck’s fingers brought peace into her body, into her mind. She closed her eyes he kept going, enjoying that as well as the steam from the coffee meeting her cold skin. 

///

Not too long after, and from a window, Hannah and Chuck saw MccLung and Lieb dragging two soldiers from their jackets to Speirs and Winters. Joe talked furiously, clearly explaining what the two men did. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, knowing Speirs would have them doing the worst jobs for the Platoon. 

Her happiness didn’t last long, though. After getting new clothes, returning Chuck’s sweater, she found out, alongside the rest, that they had a patrol to get to at one past midnight. 

Everyone dreaded it, mostly because Second Platoon had lost the most people since Bastogne, and they still wanted them to do a senseless mission. They were ordered to cross the river into German territory and take prisoners to get intel. 

They still had hours to kill before heading to enemy territory, so Hannah decided to find some place to nap, after fixing and cleaning her guns and getting more ammo. 

She wandered around Second Platoon’s house until she found a room on the second floor. She opened the door, walking inside, and instantly found a sleeping body on top of the bed. 

“What? What?!” it said startled and looked up. Hannah didn’t notice at first but as soon as some light shone through the bullet holes on the wooden panels in the window, she saw Grant’s face. 

“Oh, sorry Chuck, I was looking for some place to sleep, I’ll leave you to—,”

“No, no, it’s fine… we can share,” he said from the dark, she could hear his hand patting the bed. 

Hannah thought for a second. She was exhausted, her body was still cold and there probably wasn’t a better bed in the whole house to nap in. 

So, she closed the door behind her and left her jacket and rifle on the floor, and climbed under the wool blanket. 

Under it, she was met instantly with Chuck’s warmth, her side wasn’t cold, as she expected it to be. There was calm, so much calm it was a bit unsettling for Hannah; last time she felt it, mortars fell from the sky and took her friends with the blast. 

But there was something about the gentleness of Chuck’s breathing that helped her, which she couldn’t explain, but silently thanked him for it. 

A few minutes passed when Hannah turned to her side, facing Chuck, who was already positioned on his side. She was unable to fall fully asleep, which was normal when someone tries to relax during a war. 

Hannah just stayed there in silence, eyes closed, her hand dropped on the mattress near her face, when she felt Chuck’s hand a few inches from hers. 

For a moment, she wanted to grab it. 

Hannah had noticed for a while that she was closer with Chuck than with the rest of the men. It was an odd friendship; it’s not like they talked for hours and hours on end but mostly in silence or with hushed, short conversations. But when she was with him, she didn’t feel as much fear as with the rest or alone in a foxhole. 

But he had always been there for her, like she was for him. Through every loss, through every problem. There was an implicit deep trust between them that neither acknowledged with words, but with simple actions. 

And to her, he was certainly an attractive man; with dirty blonde hair, an inviting smile, always polite and shy. And Hannah knew she had felt sometimes a bit of a butterfly in her stomach when he smiled at her. 

Suddenly, her thoughts were hushed when she felt his fingers wrap around hers. 

Hannah didn’t open her eyes, afraid they would show how much speed her blood pressure gained in a split second. But she did reciprocate, after a moment, moving her hand so his fingers intertwined with hers. 

Neither moved, neither spoke nor opened their eyes. And finally, both fell asleep until Liebgott woke them up a couple of hours later.

He opened the door loudly, letting in some light. Both Hannah and Chuck sat up quickly, startled and disheveled, looking at Joe like he was crazy. 

Joe looked at both with a deep, playful smirk before saying, “We have the meeting at CP in ten minutes, let’s go, come on.”

Thankfully, Joe didn’t notice that Hannah and Chuck were still holding hands under the sheet; but when they caught it, as Lieb left, they quickly unwrapped them and rushed to get their things, without saying another word to each other.

///

Night came around nicely. 

Both Hannah and Chuck were enjoying their time. Hannah had clearly relaxed, mostly after they had talked about what happened to the NCO, feeling like she had let go of a heavy weight she carried on her shoulders. 

Charles offered for her to stay for dinner when the brunette said she still had to walk her dog, even though she knew Angelina had probably done that already. He insisted, saying the leftovers taste even better reheated on the grill. 

Hannah laughed and agreed to stay, as long as she could help with it. Her day has been better than expected, way better. But she still had that small pebble in her shoe about her feelings towards Chuck. A part of her yelled that she should come clean to him, and be done with it, no matter the result. The other part also yelled that his friendship was more valuable than risking it for something more.

But the tiny voice in her head still insisted with No, no! He doesn’t feel that way. He hasn’t flirted with you, or showed some clear sign of attraction, Hannah! Have dinner and pretend it’s all good. 

“Hey, can I ask you something? This might sound a bit weird,” Hannah said, with a sneaky smile while Chuck revamped the grill. The former NCO just nodded in response. “Why aren’t you married?” 

Chuck snorted, looking surprised and slightly offended. “Aren’t you the one that used to complain that women are always pressured to get married, and maybe they shouldn’t if they don't want to?” He asked, almost complaining. 

Hannah laughed and put her hands up in her defense.

“I don’t mean it like that, Charles Grant! I just… I’m surprised a man like you, who does all this, isn’t at least dating someone,” she clarified. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t dating someone,” he replied, without looking at her.

There it is! So, that’s what it's like to get your heart punched, huh? 

“Oh, yeah, I mean—Of course, sorry–,” Hannah added, suddenly stumbling upon her words as she felt her hands shake slightly. 

Chuck snorted again, this time a hearty laugh escaping his lips. 

“I’m not Hannah, I’m not seeing anybody at the moment,” he added, smiling as he moved the charcoal around the grill. 

Hannah had a rush of anger suddenly, wanting to throw something at him and yell you fucking asshole, I’m in love with you, do not do that to me!!!

But she held herself in, looking rather unphased, and just nodded disapprovingly. 

“I, well… I haven’t met the right woman, you know? I’ve seen some people, yeah. Babe set me up once with this redhead who could’ve been Malarkey’s sister for all I knew and it was going good at first but… Fuck, I was so bored!” he said, showing the annoyance in his face at the memory. “She was nice and all, but she was just… so fucking boring. She talked about her hair and stuff she does with her lady friends and she hated when I told stories about the war.”

Now it was Hannah’s turn to laugh. “She hated it? Why?”. 

“Who the fuck knows, maybe it was too g—ory for her, or she didn’t want to hear that one of the men was being called ‘Gonorrhea’. Hell, she didn’t even want to hear how I got the scar in my head or rather, the explanation of my slurring when I speak and my lack of strength on my left side,” Chuck said and sounded rather offended. 

“Someone has to either appreciate your scar and the sequels, or get the fuck out of your way,” Hannah said, approaching him with a beer in hand. “Don’t ever feel ashamed for that, Chuck, I’m not ashamed of having one ear, honestly. I think it’s pretty nice. Who can say that is different when their bodies are complete and in perfect state?”. 

“It’s boring, isn’t it?” he added.

“You and me, Chuck, are different. And that’s good. Toye and Guarnere have one less leg each, they’re fucking awesome too.” 

Hannah’s heart leaped at the sight of Chuck looking suddenly proud of himself, and when he looked at her to clink their bottles, she could’ve sworn that, if she had the ovaries, she would’ve kissed him right there and then.

///

After dinner and a few more laughs, Hannah called it a night. 

Her heart felt slightly heavy for not having dared to confess what she was there to do in the first place. 

“Well, my dear Grant, I have to head home,” she said, as she put plates down the water in sink. 

“Already?” Chuck replied, looking surprised.

“It’s almost ten in the night!” she exclaimed, drying her hands on a towel that hung from the oven door handle. 

“Want me to call you a cab? Lieb is probably still around working with his.” 

“No, don’t worry, I’ll walk. It’s fine,” Hannah replied, and started walking towards the door with Chuck on tow. 

Both stood on the porch, looking around the calm neighborhood. Hannah was feeling so ashamed of herself, slapping herself mentally every second that passed. 

“Well, Hannah, this was a great surprise,” Chuck started, breaking her thoughts for a moment, “we should do this more often, maybe with the guys, sometime, before winter leaves us secluded in our homes.” 

“Of course, but let’s not wait two years this time,” she replied, with a smile creeping up her lips, looking at him. God, how can someone dare be this good looking?

Chuck proceeded to hug her like when he opened the door past noon, when she showed up at his doorstep. Hannah reciprocated, and drowned herself once again in his cologne, not wanting to let go or stop feeling his hands around her body.

“See ya, Davis,” Chuck said as she walked down the steps and she took one last look at him before heading home. 

You fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking, pathetic     w—

“Hannah! Wait!” 

Chuck’s voice startled her as she was reaching the crossroad, when she turned around to find him running towards her. 

Her heart raced, wondering why the hell was he yelling at her for. Maybe she had forgotten something. Yeah, that’s all, I might have forgotten my… keys? 

“Hannah, wait, I… I have to tell you something and this can’t wait…” Chuck started as soon as he caught up to her. “Listen, this might sound weird but… a while ago I—you appeared in a dream of mine. You were talking to me after I got shot and you were begging me to not forget you.”

“Hannah, I took it upon myself to find you but I was meeting only dead ends, the Army wouldn’t help me so I had to… fuck, I had to find Winters and ask him for your information. God, that was embarrassing, but you know Winters, he didn’t hesitate to help. I had your address and phone numbers for months, but I never had the guts to go knock on your door… I thought you might have forgotten me, but… I never forgot about you,”

“I never forgot how we shared a foxhole during our hardest time. I never forgot how we slept in that bed and held hands in the dark. I never forgot how you took care of me when I had that one panic attack in Bastogne, and everything else,”

“What I mean, Hannah, is… I love you. I can’t date other women because they’re not you, and all I want is you. So… please, don’t leave. Not now. I couldn’t believe my eyes when you showed up at my door, fuck, I thought I was dreaming or dead. You had found me and I—,”

Before Chuck could follow through with his speech, Hannah took him by the face and kissed him. 

It was bruising, it was desperate and filled with love. Chuck wrapped his arms around her body, bringing her impossibly close to his body as her fingers found his hair. 

The anticipation was their favorite feeling. They both sensed how long they waited for that to happen, so they sank deeper into it. 

It went on for a few minutes, the night time seemed to have stopped for both, like everything had disappeared except for them. 

After they parted, both panting, their foreheads connected, Hannah opened her eyes and found Chuck’s cheeks stained with tear trails and that explained the salty taste in his lips. That made her smile widely as she still held his hand between hers. 

“Can you—do you want to s–spend the night with me?” Chuck asked, opening his eyes finally. 

Hannah just smiled widely, pecking his lips as she pulled him by the wrist towards his house.

///

Making love to someone you have craved for years makes the hours longer.

Both Hannah and Chuck were sure of that while the latter moaned loudly as Hannah rode him; his hands were bruising against her hips as she moved, holding herself in his shoulders, kissing him every now and again. 

Hannah never thought she would see Chuck like this. With sweat rolling down his forehead, his lips swollen and his eyes squeezed shut; to see his naked torso and his chest heaving up and down, which was covered in different scars that only made him even better looking in her opinion.

The man was almost ethereal in the dim light of his bedroom.

She enjoyed every bit of him as much as she could, like that could’ve been a fleeting figment of her imagination that she had to hold tight between her fingers before it could slip away. 

But reality brought her back when she felt the pain of his fingers digging into her hips. Hannah didn’t mind one bit.

She just loved to see how overwhelmed with pleasure he was, how he propped himself into his elbows, wrapping a hand around her bottom to carry both into the bed frame so he could sit and find her lips with his as he rode into his climax. 

Of course, Chuck being the gentleman he was, caring, he helped Hannah ride into hers, enjoying how she cried out his name loudly like it was the best song he had ever heard. 

///

Chuck’s fingers ran down Hannah’s bare shoulders, enjoying the dampness. It was soft, it was warm and it also a tad bit freckled. His fingertips followed down her arm until they met her face, that laid upon the back of her hands as she laid in her stomach. 

 Her eyes were closed but she was still awake. Hannah was just soaking on everything that happened through the day, and now, through the night, as the clock ticked into two in the morning. 

Chuck sat parallel to her, and his fingertips went all the way back to walk down her shoulder blades, into the deep line of her spine, meeting a few moles spread out here and there, which sent very slight tickles to the brunette. 

“I kind of can’t believe this just happened” he muttered, turning to lay his head on the small of her back. He could feel the vibration of the small laugh she let go at his comment.

“Me neither, Chuck… but I, uh… I have a confession, which I think will make you laugh,” Hannah replied.

“Do go on…” he replied.

“You told me you looked for my information with Winters, right?” Hannah asked.

“Right”.

“Well, when I looked for you too… I did the same,” she said and felt his head suddenly turn to her at her words, “and when I said your name, he gave me a weird look, but now I know it was a ‘I know something important about this that you don’t know’ look”. 

“So, wait, we l—ooked for each other in the past few months, and we did exactly the same shit?” he said, struggling slightly. 

Hannah heard the clicker of the lighter and looked back at him, lightning a cigarette with a shit eating grin sprawled upon his lips. 

“Exactly what I’m saying,” she replied, laying her head back down. 

“Another reason why I would like to marry you, then,” he added, like it was nothing.

What he didn’t notice was the speed in which Hannah’s eyes widened and her heart started thumping inside her rib cage. 

“I’m sorry?!” she asked, sounding a tad bit anxious. Chuck was never one to say rushed things like that. 

“The first reason is how powerful and relentless you were and still clearly are. You know how I know that?” he asked, and she could feel his smile still in his lips.

“No, how?”

“When you confronted Sobel before we went to Holland. Of course, I didn’t know at the moment the amount of feelings I had for you, but… I think I did have some of them roaming inside me,” Chuck said, like he was the one who stood up to Herbert Sobel, “but that was just plain hot,” he finalized, and turned to look at her; Hannah was just looking at him like he was crazy. 

The night before, everyone was cheering for their job. They were done, they were bound to the States and all the Easy Company wanted to do was drink and laugh. 

For everyone’s demise, Lipton announced how they were heading back into war, to Holland, killing the mood instantly. 

As the replacements were getting helped and guided by Bull, rather than Cobb, who could only brag about stuff he never ever did; Chuck was packing her stuff near Malarkey, Bill and Hannah. 

“I swear I thought by this time I was gonna be home, with a hundred in my pocket, flowers for my mama and nearing Christmas with my nieces and nephews” Malarkey said, fixing his bayonet. The rest scoffed, still bitter by the news.

“I miss the coffee from hometown, there’s this beautiful place in Hamstown Square, it’s very small and cozy, and the pastries are the most delicious I’ve ever had” Hannah said, looking like she was talking about the love of her life. 

“Guys, look!” Bull said, interrupting them, pointing to their right.

On a jeep, carrying some stuff behind it, sat Herbert Sobel, their former CO, the nightmare that trained them back in Toccoa. Hannah knew she didn’t train with him as much as the rest, but a year with that man was more than enough. 

“Fuck, no…” Hannah whispered so just the boys around her heard her “No, not him”.

“Don’t—Pretend he’s not here,” Malarkey said to her, tying the loose ends of her parachute to her shoulders as Skip came to them scowling like the rest. “Y’all too, do not look at him”. 

Neither obliged, all of them stared at the man passing by. 

“The hell is he doing here?” Skip wondered, without getting an answer.

Sobel walked in a straight line near the men as the truck behind his jeep unloaded, looking between the men with his usual air of superiority untouched. 

Unlucky for Hannah, he had met her eyes not too long after, and the man approached her, before the rest could make themselves scarce. 

“Still alive, uh… Davis?” Sobel asked, scowling at the brunette.

“Pretty much, sir. Still teaching at that school… somewhere?” she answered, provoking a few small gasps around her. Sobel scowl just deepened.

“Do not disrespect me with that tone, private” the taller man threatened, his jaw clenching tight. 

“Earn the respect, like you once taught us, and I won’t,” Hannah replied, her tone dripping with bitterness and irony. She felt a hand in her shoulder and knew one of the men was probably trying to calm her down. “You came here and act surprised that I’m still alive? No, I deserve more than that, sir”. 

“You shut your mouth right now, private! This—this is the reason why women shouldn’t be allowed in the army; they’re too emotional!” Sobel exclaimed, almost yelling to get attention, which only made Hannah even more furious.

“If you were in our command, if you were our leader, we would all be dead right now. Don’t you remember that drill we did back in England? Why do you think you were ‘promoted’? And no, I’m not scared of you, go write me up if you want to; Winters is south of the camp, third tent on the right. Colonel Sink is in the next tent to his, the fourth one,” Hannah felt like she couldn’t stop, her anger overcoming her; mountains of words and feelings that were accumulating, finally leaving her chest. 

Chuck couldn’t believe the words that came out of her. 

Everyone awaited without breathing for an answer, a yell from Sobel, something. But nothing came, he just scowled, breathed hard, and before anyone took a breath again, he turned around tight in his heel and left to the back of the truck. 

Hannah took a breath and turned around to finish prepping, when she found many of her fellow paratroopers smiling at her, some nodding in approval even. Johnny Martin crossed by her side, squeezing her arm, as he whispered a small “good one” for her. 

“I fucking hate him, that felt really good”, she said to Chuck, turning to adjust his jumpsuit. 

Chuck just stared at her, feeling hard to believe what just went through. Their former NCO was just bashed in front of everyone, and no one, not even one paratrooper came in his defense. 

His eyes roamed through her face as she fixed his suit and talked about something he wasn’t paying attention to. Suddenly, he was looking at her in a different way, one that would grow over time during the war.

///

The night caught up to Chuck and Hannah, both deep asleep on his bed. The brunette laid her head in his shoulder, on her side, while he was laid in his back, with his cheek against her forehead. 

Though around dawn, Chuck’s body started to shook. It came softly at first, just a few twitches, until it became a whole storm inside him. 

Hannah stirred up and saw how every muscle in his arms and chest were clenched, and he muttering something she couldn’t comprehend. Clearly, he was having a nightmares. The nightmares that seemed to never end, which felt like a punishment that everyone had to endure post war. 

The brunette placed her hands around his head as she whispered, “Chuck, Chuck, it’s okay, it’s just a dream, wake up, love, wake up.” 

His eyes shot open, looking terrified as he gasped for air, his hands fumbling to find her. 

“Hannah, Hannah!” He exclaimed, as he finally met her eyes. His body was shaking until he realized she was there, looking down at him, with a tired, disheveled smile. 

“It’s okay, love, I’m here, I’m here,” she replied, running her fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek before looking down at him again. 

The first light of the sun shining through the white curtains, illuminating both with such warmth it made Hannah’s heart swell. 

“I’m sorry, I’m s—sorry, Hannah, this still happens…” he explains, his hand tight on her side. 

But Hannah just smiles sweetly at him, “it still happens to me too, Chuck, it’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” she explains, admiring his deep blue eyes. 

“Can you… can you sing to me?” He asked, sounding almost embarrassed to ask for it. 

The touch of your lips upon my face

Your lips that are cool and sweet

Such tenderness lies in their soft caress

My heart forgets to beat

The touch of your hands upon my head

The love in your eyes, ashine

And now at last, the moment divine

The touch of your lips, the love in your eyes

The touch of your lips on mine

Chuck closed his eyes as her singing filled his ears. He haven’t felt peace like at that moment, not since the war. Hugging his mother, playing cards with his brothers or the men from the Company brought joy, but peace; peace came from Hannah, wearing his shirt, at dawn, singing to him. 

And it was the same for Hannah. 

Both knew the nightmares will continue to haunt them, and that their lives will go on, but at least, they were going to go through it together. 

And that was more than enough for them. ///

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 262: A Fierce Bad Rabbit

Previously on BnHA: The hospital raid squad, which had two jobs consisting of (1) not letting Ujiko get away, and (2) not letting any of the Noumu break free to go ravage the countryside, impressively failed at both of these tasks (or so I assume) in a remarkably short amount of time. The EndeavorZawaMicLock squad were all occupied with having a very destructive fight in the hospital lobby, leaving my girl Miruko, Goddess of Courage and First of Her Name, to do pretty much all the heavy lifting, which, fine!! Except that Ujiko remembered that he had a bunch of High End Noumus just floating there waiting to be activated, and he was all “!!” and fucking activated them, and like five of them went after Miruko all at once and smashed her into a bunch of machinery and glass tubes, which frankly should have killed her but it didn’t because she’s a fucking boss. But now it’s just her (and Crust, who might do something too, but for now JURY’S STILL OUT) against all these guys while Ujiko speeds off to grab Tomura and abscond. So basically everything that could go wrong has already gone wrong so UH. OKAY.

Today on BnHA: Miruko kicks ass. Then she checks her watch and sees that there’s still time for her to kick more ass, so she does. Then there is still time, because this chapter is all about her kicking ass! So she kicks even more ass!! It’s great!! I have no complaints!! She decapitates a man with her thighs!! That’s a thing that really happens!! Also she loses an arm but WHO HASN’T LOST AND/OR BROKEN THEIR ARMS IN THIS SERIES, REALLY. Everyone is doing it. Somehow she manages to make it look cool because Miruko. Miruko can strangle a man with a cordless phone. She can kill two stones with one bird. Miruko makes onions cry. Death once had a near-Miruko experience. Mirukoooooooo. Anyway the chapter ends with Skeptic warning everyone at The Ol’ Villain Hotel that the heroes are coming, so basically WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE, this manga is back with a vengeance.

guys I’m gonna try to do this recap fast because I’m seeing Heroes Rising tonight at 7:30! and I’m so excited! and for those that asked, yes I do plan on doing some kind of write-up about it, though it’ll all be from memory after the fact so we’ll see how that goes. but !! I’ve waited 84 years for this ahhhhh but anyway so in the meantime let’s see what new and creative ways our heroes are finding to screw this up even more

(ETA: I did it but this thing isn’t edited for shit lol. after I get back I’ll give it a more thorough readthrough so sorry if I missed any really obvious errors! also there are probably way more exclamation points than usual which may or may not be a plus or minus.)

look at this helpful announcement

High End Noumu approaching, everyone. you have been warned. just in case you somehow failed to notice?? IT’S RIGHT THERE Y’ALL LOOK OUT

lmao FINALLY

MORE HEROES. YOU ALL CERTAINLY TOOK YOUR FUCKING TIME, but hey welcome to the party. and none of that “I don’t see how that’s a party” sassy shit either. you all know what I’m talking about so get out there and have fun

so they’re standing there all “it’s a talking Noumu!” and YEAH. that’s what I’ve been fucking trying to tell you. thank god someone finally fucking said it out loud so that hopefully the EZML squad can finally take notice of this as well. like guys. bigger fish?! get to frying!!

so now Crust is all “there are more of them ahead, Miruko’s in danger!” which, again, thanks for finally letting everyone else in on this formerly exclusive scoop there pal. ‘preciate it

I... really do not understand Crust’s quirk at all. I’m just gonna own up to it

what is this. what does “zuga” mean fx-wise. why did those scale things on his arms get so big. what are they made of. what’s happening

oh it turns out that if you scroll and read more instead of pausing for ages to ask dumb questions, the thing you were asking about might actually be explained in great detail in the very next panel

but what are they made out of though. and why “Crust”?? ah well I suppose that’s a question for someone who actually cares more than I do

by the way the quality of this scan is actually really good so far, I gotta say. we’re only two pages in, true, but they either cleaned this up really nicely, or this was a much higher-quality scan than usual. either way I am appreciative!

lol this poor Noumu is shook

what did I name you two weeks ago, again? Rusty?? anyways he’s doing his best you guys. gambare my dude, though actually you do need to die, so that’s too bad though

Crust is all “you pitiful living corpse!” with tears in his eyes because he’s dramatic! but jokes aside I do appreciate that he has compassion for these monsters who are all still basically innocent victims at the end of the day

does anyone else actually hear that funny-sounding anime narrator guy in your head nowadays when you read panels like this lol

I can hear the voice so clearly and it’s great

only ten times the strength of a normal human, guys. that’s actually not that bad. I’m only half joking lol. because obviously your average hero is going to be much stronger than a so-called “normal” person too, yes? and I’m pretty sure Miruko has the strength of like 30 humans but I may be overestimating her just slightly but am I though

oh lol I apparently did not learn my lesson about doing commentary before I’m done reading hahaha

so High Ends are on a different tier of their own above even the “high” tier. well that’s just. yeah that sounds more like the “we’re still fucked” update that I was expecting

oh wait, seriously??

are you telling me that all of the High Ends were actually cultivated from villains? so maybe not completely innocent, then? is this Horikoshi’s way of trying to make us feel marginally better about the fact that the heroes are shortly henceforth going to have to exterminate these guys with great prejudice? I mean they’re still basically slaves to Ujiko’s programming now though so that sucks

also I missed this earlier but the narration here basically just confirmed that Noumu are all made from corpses. which I kind of suspected, but the still-very-much-alive Tomura would then be a glaring contradiction to that, no? or is that why he’s so special. anyway I do appreciate that we’re getting a lot of much-awaited answers in this Noumu arc, but some of this is also just raising more questions. gotta be patient I guess

speaking of Tomura, Ujiko’s back in the Tomura room, so. I assume some absconding is soon to occur

oh shit!! so there’s another panel explaining that “artificial transplant of quirks” requires surgery and then three months of stabilization time following that. sooooo I’m pretty sure this mofo just confirmed that he gave Tomura some shiny additional new quirks, so that’s nice! that’s real fucking great! I know we were all eyeing Tomura skeptically and thinking to ourselves “this is almost just right, but needs more death”

wait, what?

“I was already dead anyway” meaning that he knows there’s no way out for him? and so he doesn’t have a secret way out of the lab?? ??? can that really be true?? our intrepid heroes actually did their job right and the villains had no contingency plan?? oh my god I am so terrified of letting my guard down lmao I still refuse to believe this at all

and is that Tomura who’s at 70% stabilization? that would seem to fit with the timeline we were given. holy shit is he unboxing him early fsdfkjalsdk are we about to go from “fucked” to “exorbitantly fucked”

and why am I strangely excited about it sob!!

HAHAHAHA OH GOD

so this is how liberty dies. with a beep

also fuck you all, now it’s at 71%?! couldn’t leave it at a nice even number for us, could you? you just had to throw that extra percent in there at the last moment to fuck with us all

anyway did you all catch how fucking ripped he was there though? like boiiii whaaaaat. clearly his abs are already at 100%

OH MY GOD

DOES NOTHING FUCKING FAZE THIS BEAUTIFUL, RULE-BREAKING MOTH

HAHAHA

RIGHT??

HOLY FUCKING MOLY

friendly reminder that Dabi was all good and ready to throw down with both Endeavor and Hawks (who were admittedly weakened by that point) that one time a while back, but then Miruko showed up and he was all “lol nope I think the fuck not” and warped out of there. Dabi, whose quirk is so powerful that its only apparent downside is the fact that it roasts him alive as well. that Dabi took one look at Miruko and decided he likes having his spine intact and fucking vamoosed, because that is the smart fucking thing to do when this girl shows up smiling at you the way that she is smiling at these Noumu now

anyway. fucking Ujiko knew he needed at least five High Ends to even stand a chance of slowing her down, is all I’m saying. y’all better respect the FUCK out of Miruko, everyone. it’s the law

anyway. so. quirk: bunny. can smash rl gud

someone needs to ask Horikoshi the fuck kind of rabbits he has been hanging out with. applied that “and more!” part pretty fucking liberally huh. WHO DID YOU SAY TRIX WERE FOR AGAIN, CHILDREN??

NOBODY THROWS MIRUKO IN THE BRIAR PATCH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT

fffwhatttttttttt

that would be our good buddy Max Rebo. so that’s definitely not an elephant trunk-like thing then. we may need a new name for you

on a side note, I never thought we’d meet another character who looks more like Katsuki than Mitsuki does, and yet every damn week Miruko is proving me wrong. goddamn she is great

lmao wait maybe that wasn’t Max at all, but Jester. because this is clearly Max over here

so Girl!Noumu is a water bender, Jester can do... something weird with his hair, and Max can do anything an elephant can do if that elephant was also powered by steam. nice

HAHAHA BUT MIRUKO IS ALL “KICK!!!”

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK!!!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. I WOULD READ AN ENTIRE MANGA OF JUST THIS LMAO THIS IS TOO MUCH ADRENALINE I CAN’T

JESTER’S WEIRD SPIKY ROCK HAIR IS SLICING HER ARM AND SHE’S ALL “THAT HURTS YOU JERK!!!!” AND GETTING READY TO FREAKING PILEDRIVE HIM I CAN’T, THOUGH!?

SDKFJLDKSJFLKJ

HER FATHER PEPPY TAUGHT HER THAT. BARREL ROLL ALL OVER THESE BITCHES!!

WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKING QUIRKS!!!! THOUGH!!!! WILLLLLLLLLD

SDKFJLAS;DHK OH MY GOD OH SHIT

real talk this is the scariest fucking quirk I’ve ever seen I was like what the fuck looking at her arm and then I saw him doing the twisty hand gesture and just. fuck. YOU’RE NOT CRIMSON RIOT AT ALL YOU’RE SOME PSYCHO TELEKINETIC BITCH AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

NO!!!!!

fuck fuck fuck. I’M SURE HER ARM’S GOING TO BE JUST FINE AND DANDY AFTER THIS GUYS, DON’T WORRY. THIS MANGA HAS SUCH A SERENE AND TRANQUIL HISTORY WITH ARMS. ISN’T THAT RIGHT DEKU

though on the plus side, if she does lose that arm we can count on her to somehow instantly become like 50x more attractive, which I’m pretty sure might cause the very fabric of the universe to unravel but it would be worth it

(ETA: SHE DID AND IT WAS!!)

MADAME PRESIDENT!! MY QUEEN

OH HELL YERRRRRR

fucking hell guys I’m running out of exclamation points and excited things to say here. AND SHE JUST KEEPS GOING! LIKE HER MOM THE ENERGIZER BUNNY BEFORE HER

I’M SORRY UJIKO DID YOU THINK FIVE HIGH ENDS WAS ENOUGH?! MAYBE NEXT TIME WE MAKE IT TEN, HOW ABOUT THAT. FUCK OFF

lmao holy shit I can’t stop laughingggg

well Crimson, at least you get to die happy. is she literally going to crush his face between her thighs. is this entire chapter just one big prank on me. if Miruko was the protagonist would this series have ended in the first chapter. trick question, the answer is it never would have started to begin with because she would have killed All for One years ago!! how much would it cost to hire Miruko to come kick away all of my problems for me

hello good afternoon everyone this is a real panel that really happened in this manga

I don’t even know what to say about anything anymore

sob she’s all “YEAH RIGHT” and SNAPPING HIS FUCKING NECK WITH A FUCKING TRIANGLE CHOKE, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, FUCKING LOOK!! AT!! THIS!!!

we’re not even gonna make it to 300 chapters. Horikoshi held off for as long as he could, but eventually Miruko couldn’t be contained any longer and he had to unleash her and she instantly went and reckt every last fucking bad guy out there until there was nothing left. who are the kids even going to fight. nobody that’s who. go back to school kids

SON OF A BITCH WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS THE MOST VIOLENT THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN AND YET SOMEHOW I SWEAR I CAN HEAR ANGELS SINGING. RESPLENDENT

SOBBING!!!!

“S’POSE I SHOULD GET THIS ANNOYING THING CHECKED OUT BEFORE I BLEED TO DEATH OR SOME BULLSHIT.” WHAT AN INCONVENIENCE. JUST A FUCKING FLESH WOUND. NOBODY USES ARMS THESE DAYS ANYWAY

“IF THE ONLY WAY TO STOP YOU IS BY CRUSHING YOUR HEADS THIS WILL BE WAY EASIER THAN HOLDING BACK ON A NORMAL VILLAIN.” SOB THIS IS MIRUKO’S WORLD AND WE’RE ALL JUST BEGRUDGINGLY ALLOWED TO EXIST IN IT. MY BARONESS

DID YOU JUST TOURNIQUET YOUR DISMEMBERED FUCKING LIMB WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING HAIR ONE-HANDED FFCKCK KCKCLK JUST MIRUKO THINGS

Miruko also saw Horikoshi getting ready to end the chapter after 17 pages and was like “EXCUSE YOU THERE” and he backed off because he actually likes having a fucking head thank you very much

LMAO AND NOW OF ALL TIMES WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE OL’ VILLAIN RESORT. SIGH

Skeptic seems to have finally cottoned on to them being in some kind of trouble. huh

how does he know it was Jin who screwed up?? did he realize that Hawks betrayed them oh shit!?!

OOP HE’S SOUNDING THE ALARM

AND THE CHAPTER IS ENDING. BUT I’M NOT DONE SCREAMING. AHHHHHH well anyways I’m off to watch my children kick lots of ass on the big screen. assuming I can get this posted in time with zero editing whatsoever lol I’ve got like... an hour. WE SHALL SEE!

(ETA: we did it lol just barely! this whole thing is probably a giant mess but oh well! Mirukoooooo)

[purplesurveys]

1177

survey by joybucket

Have you _____ during this pandemic?

Worn a mask? I mean, of course. I put one on even when I’m only picking up deliveries from my doorstep.

got tested for coronavirus? Never. I also hope I’ll never have to go through this, I don’t want a stick up my nose and throat D:

known someone who died from the virus? Personally? Too many people at this point. 

gotten the COVID vaccine? Not yet, but I have many relatives who’ve already gotten theirs, my mom and grandmother included, so at least. I know my employer has a plan in place over the next few weeks or months, so I’m just currently waiting for updates on their end.

started a new hobby? Yeah, I started on embroidery late last year. I haven’t been able to keep it up, but I’m still very much interested and want to go back to it soon. I also plan on getting one or two new Klaypel kits so I can finally replace and throw out the ones Gabie gave to me as gifts.

hated being stuck at home? Yeah, especially during the start when there seemed to be no end in sight. When they heightened quarantine protocols again earlier this month, that also made me feel aggravated about being stuck at home indefinitely since I had already started going out on weekends for self-dates.

worn a mask someone made for you? No one has made a mask for me, but one of my uncles got me a supply of a certain kind of face mask that I didn’t initially use.

sewn your own mask? No.

purchased masks at the store? Not me personally, but my dad regularly buys a supply for the family to use.

purchased a KN95 or N95 mask? Again, not me. But we regularly have a stock at home, along with the blue surgical face masks.

complimented someone on their mask? I don’t think so. I barely pay attention especially towards mask designs.

protested mask-wearing? ????? My name’s not Karen.

complained on Facebook? Nothing mask-related, but I have definitely complained about the government’s negligence and lack of proactivity about this entire situation.

read a book? I started on Midnight Sun which my parents got for me, but I never finished it. I got busy immediately the week after since I got accepted into my internship, and it was also because I was dealing with my breakup and could not focus enough to read for more than 5 minutes.

had an event canceled you had been looking forward to? My college graduation, which I’ll forever stay bitter about.

stocked up on toilet paper? I don’t think so. My parents didn’t believe in panic-buying.

been to the store when it was crowded? I do remember the mall being packed when I went last-minute Christmas shopping. Not to a crazy extent, but there was still quite a number of people.

been to the store when the toilet paper aisle was empty? N/A. We don’t have toilet paper aisles, but all stores have hand sanitizers and temperature checks by their entrance.

lost your job? I didn’t have a job before the pandemic because I had still been a student when everything started.

worked from home? Yup, and still on an WFH arrangement until now.

still had to go to work? I’ve had to go two times, but that was because it was absolutely necessary to go to the office to get the work done. My employer is pretty strict about this anyway and if something could be done at home, they’d decline the request.

went to a protest at your state's capital building? Well we don’t have states so this isn’t really relevant to me. Should a credible org plan a protest against the government though, I’d be interested in going.

watched the news for updates on the virus? We keep the TV on during dinner, at which time the news is always on. Whether I want to or not, I always get updates on the Covid situation in the country.

wondered if you had covid? Yeah, when I got extremely sick in May last year.

not left the house for a week? Way more than a week.

watched YouTube videos? YouTube is pretty much a part of my daily routine, with or without the virus.

spent a whole day watching movies? I’ve only watched one movie since the beginning of the pandemic.

cleaned your house from top to bottom? Not me, but my mom.

ordered something online? Too much crap.

ordered a pizza? I’ve gotten pizza a few times for my family, yeah. I remember ordering from Pizza Hut, Motorino, and most recently, Yellow Cab.

prayed to God?

completely forgotten a holiday that you normally celebrate? Nah, I usually remember when holidays are because that means I get a day off hahaha.

voted in an election? There haven’t been any elections that have taken place since the start of the pandemic.

gotten to know your neighbors? Somewhat. I only say hi to them and greet them a good morning/afternoon when I walk the dogs, but I don’t initiate conversations.

sanitized everything in your home? We always do this, especially when a package arrives for someone in the family.

wrote someone a letter? Started one but never finished because I soon realized it wouldn’t be worth it.

wished this pandemic were over? Don’t we all?

been surprised this pandemic has lasted so long? Yeah, I definitely thought things would be normal by now.

worried about catching the virus? I think the worry exists for everyone. I just wouldn’t say I’ve ever gotten super anxious and panicky about it. I feel pretty resigned at this point and just want everything to be over, so I can finally have the life I was meant to have back.

stayed home because you didn't want to catch the virus? That, and because I was required to stay home to begin with.

been to church? We watch a service on YouTube every Sunday morning.

watched an online church service? ^ Yeah, that’s what I meant haha oops.

been stopped by a police officer? No, but there was one time I was cleaning up Cooper’s tray and there happened to be a village guard cycling by our street, and he just kindly reminded me to put on a mask or shield since I had forgotten to do it.

seen a lot of police cars patrolling the area? No. I would definitely be pissed off if this happened - especially in a residential subdivision - and share a pic on social media to alert everyone about the unnecessary mess that is the police.

had someone cough on you out in public? No. But again, this would also piss me off and I wouldn’t hesitate to confront the asshole who would do something like that.

has someone stand less than six feet away from you while waiting in line? Always. Some people here can still be unbelievably stubborn.

had to use an inhaler? Never needed one.

been to the doctor? Yeah, to have my blood and urine tests examined.

had increased asthma and/or allergy symptoms? I have neither.

felt like you were fighting a virus? Like I said, I got a bad fever sometime last year. Even though I didn’t show any of the common Covid symptoms (e.g. I had wet cough instead of a dry cough), I felt as if I was rotting away lmao. I could barely stand up and I felt like fainting the second I would raise my head.

been diagnosed with the coronavirus? No.

felt lonely? It’s natural.

went somewhere with a friend? Just a couple of times. I went to UPTC with Andi at the start of the year, then back in Feb I went to Perfy’s with several friends, well aware of our ignorance but badly craving for a sense of normalcy for even just a night.

attended an online event? BANG BANG COOOOOOOOOON. Best 8 hours of my life during the pandemic thus far.

had a business in your area close down? Like the people I know who’ve died from the virus, too many.

received a stimulus check? Hasn’t happened.

received food stamps? No, and I don’t think we have that system in place here. The government just lets the hungry go hungrier.

applied for disability? No, not applicable.

applied for food assistance? No, thankfully we haven’t reached this point.

visited a food pantry? ^

had a fever? Just back in May. Hasn’t happened again since.

believed a conspiracy theory about the virus? Cringe, no.

had to take online classes? When the whole world was still at a loss on how to handle a global pandemic, aka early March, I briefly took Zoom sessions for some of my classes. But it proved to be difficult what with many students struggling with internet connections or being stuck somewhere without their school supplies, so my university canceled the sem altogether not long after and gave everyone general passing grades.

ate at a restaurant? I did a few times. I frequented coffee shops rather than restaurants, though.

walked through a drive-thru? I’ve...driven through a drive-thru, but not walk.

had your mask fog up your glasses? Every damn time I get out of the car, hahaha.

had to go to the hospital because of covid? Nope, not for myself or for someone else.

had to go to the hospital for a different reason? For my fever.

used hand sanitizer? At least once a day.

felt encouraged, joyful, or blessed? Now, especially. Things are starting to look up, at least for my own life.

[daisylincs]

I kinda want to know what this Angsty Post-Hive Pregnancy for staticquake is about now...

Grace 😍😍😍 Hello, sweetheart, and, first of all, I am so sorry for letting this sit so long 🙈 But you know how things can get sometimes (s o c r a z y, right???) Anyway, yeah, I’m terribly sorry, but I’m also on break now (and very happy about it!!) so here I am to answer this question at long last.

And, my, what a question!

The (angsty) Post-Hive Pregnancy fic, which can currently be found at number 140 on my WIPs list, is actually one of my fondest and closest-to-home ideas - closest to home because, funnily enough, it was actually inspired by real-life events. 

To illuminate: as you know, I started watching AoS in the beginning of this year, during the lockdown, and joined the AoS fandom (and started to write fic, too, for the first time!!) in May. Now, right about in this time, one of my cousins got pregnant - and, yes, she’s going to be teased for all eternity about having a lockdown baby, lmao. But the thing is - she didn’t realise she was pregnant at first!!

I know it sounds ridiculously like a movie (or a fanfic, lmao) where they always think oh no, it’s just a bug - but in my cousin’s case, that really is what everyone thought. She had caught a pretty nasty case of flu, but, because it was the middle of lockdown and COVID highs, our doctor advised her not to go to the hospital unless absolutely necessary. So she didn’t - but she was on some pretty strong antibiotics at home, and those made her not only nauseous, but also exhausted all the time. 

Now, I don’t know how well you know your pregnancy symptoms, but those two things - nausea and fatigue - are pretty big indicators. However, none of us, my cousin least of all, clicked this, because we’d literally been warned that the drugs could have those exact side effects. So even when her symptoms continued a little longer than they should have, we remained clueless.

When we did finally realise, this got me thinking. Some withdrawal symptoms - especially the fatigue, dizziness and nausea thing - look a lot like pregnancy symptoms, and mistaking them, as my family had proved, was a very easy thing. So I thought: what if we put a recovering Daisy in a situation where she won’t be paying her own health much mind, and would anyway dismiss these symptoms as post-Hive?

Well, there’s an easy enough solve for that: figure out a way for Lincoln to not die, but still be in mortal danger when they got him back. Daisy, of course, would sit by his hospital bed for as long as needed - and, in her post-Hive state of mind, probably think she deserved the nausea/fatigue/dizziness etc. 

So that’s what the Post-Hive Pregnancy Fic is, basically! It follows a Daisy who isn’t taking care of herself at all, sitting by Lincoln’s bed day in and day out till he recovers - then, one day, when he does wake up, she can’t ignore the symptoms anymore... and also has the cold-shock realisation of “omg, when last did I have a period??” 

Yeah, so after that, the fic chronicles Daisy’s recovery after Hive just as much as it does her pregnancy - I drew on a lot of material from my post-Hive angst fic for that part, and I  have also badgered my poor cousin with endless pregnancy questions throughout the run of the year. 

And when I get the time, that’s exactly what I’m going to write: Daisy, post-Hive and full of angst, recovering slowly, and she and Lincoln both trying to improve themselves as much as possible to be the best parents they can for this baby. Which, of course, they’re keeping. Daisy, I believe, would never agree to give up her baby in any way, regardless of whether the pregnancy was an accident or not.

I even chanced upon the most perfect title for this thing the other day!! In one of those, light-bulb, oh-my-gosh-why-didn’t-I-see-this-before moments, I chanced to think that you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight (you’ll be alright), which is from Ed Sheeran’s Small Bump, just describes everything I want absolutely perfectly. 

And there we are!! I hoped you liked this answer, Grace, and that it was at least a little bit worth the long wait 🙈🥰 Feel free to ask me more about my WIPs, or badger me for snippets/to actually write them, anytime you like!! Love you <333

[lux-i-fer]

Believer of Faith and Mortality

Ao3 link

Synopsis: Lucifer and Chloe's victim shouldn't be alive, but the fact that he's currently alive and giving a statement says otherwise. When more and more miracle cases begin popping up, Lucifer believes that their lives aren't being spared out of the goodness of his Father's heart. The knock at the door only proves his theory.

Rating: T

Notes: Here we are a year later lmao. Sorry it took so long, you guys know how life is. Unbetaed

Chapter Number: 5

By the time Chloe arrived at the crime scene--a small convenience store just inside city limits--the paramedics had already packed their third zombie victim into the ambulance. Dan was on the scene, conversing with some of the techs and occasionally gesturing at the ground. He hadn’t noticed her pull in yet, and for that Chloe was eternally grateful. Arriving here undetected meant that she could have a few moments to herself before having to go out and act like her world wasn’t just turned upside-down the night before.

Chloe closed her eyes and let her mind drift. Thoughts of her father and Nicholas Keller and Maria Poncé mingled with dinner menus and Trixie’s upcoming parent-teacher night. For a moment, Chloe felt normal again. She mentally sorted through the laundry that needed done and configured the drive time between Dan’s apartment and Lux, just as she would have done any other day. Her meditation was almost successful until she opened her eyes to ask Lucifer if he could pick Trixie up from school next week, only to find an empty seat in his place.

Right, she’d put Lucifer on babysitting duty today.

A stab of guilt shot through her heart when she recalled both John and Lucifer’s bewilderment at being put on house arrest. It wasn’t as if she’d wanted to exclude either of them from her day but honestly what did they expect her to do? Chloe wasn’t about to turn a 1990s John loose on a 2020s world without supervision. It wasn’t her fault that the only person who could fill that supervisor role was Lucifer.

But even with her self-reassurances, Chloe couldn’t shake the feeling that she was a horrible daughter and an even worse partner.

“I am a good daughter,” Chloe finally said aloud. “There is nothing wrong with leaving Dad with Lucifer. They’re grown adults, everything is perfectly fine.” But everything was not perfectly fine. People didn’t just come back from the dead. Especially not the fathers of divine miracles. Chloe had tried to ignore this whole clusterfuck and focus strictly on work, but the more she pushed it off, the more unbearable it was becoming.

Chloe banged her head lightly against the steering wheel. How did this become her life? She was supposed to be taking Trixie to the beach on the weekends and having dinner with Lucifer after a long day at work, not dealing with resurrected fathers.

Chloe groaned. Ugh, who was she kidding? She was a horrible daughter. Lucifer and John were strangers at best and enemies at worst. If the awkward silence in the kitchen was anything to go by, it was leaning more towards the latter. And instead of trying to diffuse the situation, she’d confined them to a tiny apartment with only each other as company.

Chloe knew it was wrong to just dump John on Lucifer like that, but when she’d come downstairs to see her father still alive and talking to Lucifer, she’d just panicked. Whether she chose to acknowledge it or not, Chloe wasn’t ready for her past to meet her present. John’s death had always acted as a divider between her wild-child acting days and her normal life on the force. Packing away all of her grief into her life before the force had been the only thing that could ease the sting of John’s death. When Perry Smith had tried to shatter that wall around the first nineteen years of her life, Chloe had retreated further into her budding relationship with Lucifer to cope. The method had always worked. The day after Perry Smith’s trial, Chloe was back at work and all thoughts of John Decker were firmly locked out of sight. That wasn’t the case anymore. Now those clear lines between before and after were blurred and there was no telling what kind of unresolved emotions would slip through the cracks.

Knock knock.

Chloe jumped at the sound. She whipped her head around to find Dan, fist poised to knock on her window a third time. She stared blankly at him for a second as she collected her thoughts. Dan made an opening gesture with his other hand, and Chloe cracked open her door.

“Hey,” he said in greeting. He stepped out so she could open her door completely.

Chloe unclipped her seatbelt and got out. “Hey,” she said back. “What do we have?”

He shrugged. “Not much. Our vic’s name is Alandra Chase. She’s twenty-four.”

Chloe cringed, she hated the young ones. That was their second victim under thirty this week. “What happened?”

“Well around 6:30am Chase stopped by this convenience store to buy a coffee and when she came out a guy came out from around the corner and tried to take her purse. There was a struggle and eventually the mugger ripped the purse out of her hands. Chase fell backwards and hit her head on the edge of the sidewalk. I guess she was laying here for about fifteen minutes before anyone noticed.”

That made Chloe double take. “Nobody heard the struggle? Not even the clerk?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “The guy at the counter says he didn’t hear anything, but you know how people just turn a blind eye to stuff like this. Especially in this area.” They came to a stop by the convenience store door. “But we did manage to catch the altercation on the security cameras, so it’s not a total loss.”

Chloe nodded and knelt down to examine the small blood spatter on the concrete. Had it not already been marked, Chloe doubted she would have noticed it. These types of fatalities rarely had a lot of blood, but this was on another level. It was as if she hadn’t even hit the ground. “Was she ever pronounced dead?” she asked him.

“Yeah. The coroner established her TOD like twenty minutes beforehand. The next thing we know, she’s thrashing around in the body bag.” Dan made a face and Chloe mirrored him; what an awful way to wake up. She sat back on her heels and surveyed the scene again, trying to imagine the uproar Alandra Chase caused.

“So why am I here? You guys seem like you have everything under control.”

“Well initially we thought this would take a lot longer than it did. Obviously that’s not the case. But you being here actually works out. The lieutenant wants us to go interview the first two victims. The sooner the better, he said.”  

“Alright let’s go then.” As she stood back up, Chloe caught a whiff of something sweet. “Hey do you smell that?”

Dan inhaled. “What, the pot?” He chuckled. “Yeah so?”

Chloe waved her hand. The scent seemed to grow stronger with the motion. “No, no. It smells like--” she inhaled. “--Like the fairgrounds? Like that thick, disgustingly sweet smell that’s always hanging around the cotton candy stall.”

“Uh no, sorry, didn’t smell that.”

She shook her head. Whatever it was, it was familiar. Chloe knew she’d smelled it before, and it wasn’t at the fair. It couldn’t be. That conclusion just seemed too...easy. No, she told herself, we’re putting a stop to that train of thought right now. She was being paranoid. Her, Dan, and Trixie had just visited the fairgrounds a couple of weeks ago. Her brain was just mixing memories.  

She swore quietly to herself. Here she went again, letting her imagination run away with her sanity. Everything about this case was putting her on edge, and Chloe vowed that she was going to take a long vacation after it was finally closed.

“Hey do you care if we ride together?” Chloe said, changing the subject.

Dan seemingly took the change in stride. “Yeah sure. Take my car?”

Chloe nodded and they set off towards his unmarked Charger.

The drive to the hospital was uneventful at best. LA traffic made it last three times as long as it should have been, but that was old news for locals like them. On any other day the hold up would have annoyed Chloe like it annoyed thousands of other LA drivers. Today; however, she welcomed the idle feeling of the traffic jam. It was familiar, and boy could Chloe use a bit of familiarity right about now. In fact, the sea of cars and asphalt was so mundane that Chloe could almost forget about the emotional trainwreck that undoubtedly awaited her at home.

Not for the first time that morning, Chloe missed the life she’d had just the week before. Back then, people coming back to life might have been strange but nothing too out of the ordinary for the girlfriend of the Devil himself. But then John had to go and show up at her door and change all of that. Now it was personal. And it was because of that that there was a part of her that wished she’d never answered the door last night.

Chloe bit her tongue at such a selfish thought. She should be grateful that her father was even here to begin with. If Lucifer was to be believed (and Chloe had no reason not to), things like this never happened. Lucifer’s Father didn’t allow such things to happen. This was, quite literally, a once in a lifetime opportunity. But Chloe was a homicide detective and homicide detectives didn’t know how to not look a gift horse in the mouth.

If people found out that John was alive, they’d start asking questions. Questions that would attract unwanted attention. Chloe knew if they weren’t careful, sooner or later the feds might be knocking on their door. And then what? They find Lucifer there, informing anyone who asks that he’s the Devil, and then round them both up for testing? Chloe mulled over her mounting paranoia. That situation didn’t even account for other factors like Penelope Decker.

She’d spent the majority of her morning routine debating whether or not she should even call her mother and tell her the news. Penny was John’s wife after all, if anyone had a right to know that he was alive it was her. But Chloe just couldn’t bring herself to make the call. If John's sudden resurrection came to an equally sudden end, living through John’s death a second time just might break Penny for real.

Chloe remembered the years following John’s death with startling clarity. Her mother, despite being the greater source of income, had relied on John for everything. Penny was a free spirit and often remarked that without her husband, she’d just fly away. John was always the one that made sure the bills got paid on time, that Chloe got to her acting lessons or her school functions, and that the groceries got bought on a regular basis. When he died, it was like Penny’s tether to earth was severed. In the few weeks following the funeral, she’d floated around the house like a ghost, never speaking and staring listlessly at the American flag gifted to them by the LAPD. When Penny had finally stopped being a shadow of herself, she’d thrown herself into her work, booking every convention circuit in the country and leaving Chloe behind to pick up the pieces. It was only in the past three years that Penny had started to make an effort to reconnect with LA and her family.

Chloe thought about the way Penny smiled the last time she’d visited for dinner and decided that she would not call her mother. She knew it was the wrong choice, but the alternative was reopening a decades-old wound that was only just starting to heal. Still, Chloe couldn’t shake the conflicted feelings rising up through her gut. The closer she and Dan got to the hospital, the more noticeable the feeling grew. It had rolled slowly up her throat the deeper her thoughts spiraled and the pressure to voice her fears was almost unbearable now.

When they finally pulled into the hospital parking lot, Chloe opened her mouth. “Dan can I ask you something?”

Dan blew out a breath, the first sound he’d made since they’d left the crime scene. “Yeah, of course.”

“If your tía Josefina was one of our zombie victims, what would you do?”

An uneasy silence swept through the car at the mention of his favorite aunt and legal guardian. Josefina had been dead for only half the time that John Decker had, but Chloe knew that the passage of time changed little about the rawness that followed the death of a parent.

Dan scoffed, and she knew she’d caught him off guard. “Chloe what’s bringing all this on? Are you and Lucifer doing okay?” When Chloe didn’t answer, he continued. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that he didn’t show up to work today.”

“No it’s not that, I promise,” she said quietly, deliberately avoiding his gaze. If anything, Lucifer was the only comforting thing about this whole process.

“Okay then what is it? Because this just didn’t come out of nowhere, Chloe. You’ve been out of it since we got in the car.” He put a hesitant hand on her shoulder. “Look, I know we’re not together anymore and we haven’t been for a long time, but I still worry about you. I know I didn’t do a great job showing that before, but I promise I do.”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds, the heavy hand on her shoulder making them feel like minutes. Finally Dan spoke again, his voice low and coated with emotion. “I would be beside myself if mi tía came back to life today. I fucked up so much right before she died. I would give anything to show her that I finally did something with my life. And that she didn’t waste hers on raising me.”

After hearing that, the guilt in Chloe's heart seemed to seep into her lungs. She took a few deep breaths to reassure herself that she wasn't completely drowning in it yet. Of course Dan would want to see Josefina again, it was stupid of her to think he would answer any other way. Even still, Chloe wished he had, if only to quell the overwhelming feelings of shame that had been boiling under her skin all morning.

An ambulance roared past their car and skidded to a haphazard stop in front of the ER doors, reminding Chloe of the real reason they were here. She took in one last deep breath. Now was not the time to break down, she told herself. Chloe silently collected all of her negative thoughts and shoved them into an imaginary box, just like how John had taught her to do when she was eleven and ostracized by her classmates. After locking the box into the farthest fringes of her consciousness, Chloe covered Dan’s hand with hers. “Josefina would be very proud of you, Dan,” she muttered absentmindedly.

“I know,” he said, mimicking her prior response. “And Chlo’?” She finally turned to look at him. “Your dad would be proud too.”

Chloe nodded. So Dan had known what this was really about.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Without another word, they both got out of the car and made their way into the hospital. The silence persisted through the check in and badge verification process until a nurse called their names and motioned for them to follow her.

“So how about you take Nicholas and I’ll take Maria, does that sound good, Chloe?” Dan asked, shuffling the files in his arms as if to remind Chloe that they still had a job to do.

“Yeah that’s fine,” she said, taking Nicholas’ file from the stack.

Chloe was embarrassed to say that for a second time she had almost forgotten that they were here to interview Nicholas and Maria. She mentally shook herself; she really needed to get a grip. The world didn’t end because her deceased father of seventeen years randomly came back from the dead the night before. Chloe paused and considered her words. Shit, the world really wasn’t going to end because of some pseudo-Rapture bullshit right? Right? She made a mental note to text Lucifer about it after the interviews, praying that his current uneasiness had nothing to do with the potential end of days.

The nurse continued to lead them through a maze of sterile hallways and bustling nurse’s stations until they finally reached a small, secluded hallway. They stopped in front of a room.

“This is Mr. Keller’s room. Ms. Poncé is at the end of the hall, last door on the left,” she said, gesturing at the rooms in question. “I can escort whoever will be visiting Ms. Poncé the rest of the way if needed, detectives.”

Dan turned to Chloe once more. “Meet back at the car when we’re done?” She hummed in affirmation. He dug into his pocket and produced a set of keys. “Here, take my keys so you’re not waiting around. I have a feeling it’s gonna be awhile for me.”

Chloe took the keys and waved him off. She had a similar feeling about Nicholas’ interview. “Good luck.”

“You too,” Dan said over his shoulder, already following the nurse down the hall.

Chloe took a deep breath before stepping into Nicholas’ room. To her surprise, he was awake. She knew at this point she shouldn’t be surprised by anything the zombie victims did anymore, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘Tis the folly of humanity, darling she could hear Lucifer saying in her head, mortals cannot help their curious inclinations towards the supernatural.

And if Chloe hadn't been convinced that there was some supernatural intervention involved in Nicholas’ fate, she was now. Nicholas looked like he’d been to hell and back. Chloe couldn’t help but wonder if there was some truth to that statement. He looked similar to the last time she’d seen him: thick black hair, gangly limbs, and a small scattering of pimples across his face. However, where his eyes had been filled with desperate ferocity at the crime scene, here they were almost vacant, as if drifting on a morphine high. She supposed he probably was after getting stabbed in the chest.

“Hello Mr. Keller,” she began.

His brown eyes dragged over to meet hers, but he didn’t return the greeting.

Not a totally abnormal response, Chloe noted.

“I’m Detective Chloe Decker.” She brushed aside her jacket so he could see her badge clipped to her belt. “I work in the homicide unit, and I’m here to get some more information about your case. May I ask you a few questions?”

Nicholas blinked, but still said nothing.

“Mr. Keller, I need your consent before we can begin,” she prompted.

“Yes,” he said. His voice was softer than she remembered.

“Okay great. Can you tell me anything about the person who might have done this to you?”

Nicholas just stared at her, as if already worn out from speaking. Chloe held his gaze. Finally, as if in slow motion, he opened his mouth to speak again. “Tall. Black stocking cap. White. Male.” He rattled off the list with near mechanical rhythm.

The information was minimal, but Chloe wrote it down anyways. “Anything else? No identifying tattoos, markings, or piercings?”

His eyes glazed over for a moment, and Chloe suppressed a shudder. It was like talking to a corpse. “An outline of a star on his inner forearm,” he said slowly.

Now that was something she could work with. “Do you know which arm it was, Mr. Keller?”

For the first time, Chloe saw a hint of humanity flash across his face. Nicholas’ thick eyebrows knitted together and his mouth twisted into a grimace. “Left. I saw it when he…” he absently touched his bandaged chest.

“I understand,” she said.

Nicholas’ hand dropped back into his lap like a stone, face falling blank once more.

“We don’t have to talk about the altercation right now, Mr. Keller,” Chloe told him gently.

He gave her an aborted nod.

“Let’s talk about motive. Is there anyone who would be upset with you or who would want to kill you?” Nicholas said nothing. Chloe shuffled some papers in his file. There had to be something in here that could get through to this kid. And he truly was a kid, she’d realized. Nicholas’ file said he was nineteen. Hell, apparently he even still lived with his mom.

“It says here you live at home and attend community college, is that correct?” At the word ‘home’ Nicholas pursed his lips. Gotcha, Chloe thought. “Nicholas,” she leveled her best mom look at him, “is your father in the picture?”

Nicholas looked as if he wanted to shrink down three sizes. “No. He’s dead.”

Damn it. Another dead end. But at least she’d got him to open up a little bit. He was still stiff but at least now Chloe didn’t feel like she was talking to a shop mannequin. Some of the hollowness had finally left his cheeks and his eyes had gained a little bit of the fire she’d gotten a glimpse of when he’d first come back to life. Chloe didn’t know what kind of chord she’d struck in him when the mom voice came out, but she’d be damned if she didn’t try and pursue it. But first she had to play the part.

She took a tentative step closer to Nicholas. His eyes didn’t move from the spot where she’d been standing. Taking his silence as a good thing, Chloe pulled a plastic chair up to the side of the bed and sat down. For a moment, she imagined Trixie was the one in this bed, waiting for Chloe to come tuck her in or to tell her one last bedtime story.

She cleared her throat, suddenly feeling a little choked up. “You don’t have any siblings either, is that correct?” she said, still a bit shaken.

He shook his head, eyes still fixed on the space she’d occupied a minute ago. “Just me.”

She rested her elbows on the railing of his bed. “And your mom, right?”

Nicholas’ head whipped around, all disassociation gone. “Yes,” he said breathlessly.

“And you would do anything to protect your mom?”

“Yes.”

“Help do the dishes?”

“Yes,” he said more adamantly this time.

“Help bring in the groceries?”

“Yes.” He was panting now.

“Help pay the bills?”

Nicholas jerked forwards, his face contorting into a mask of frustration. “Yes!” he shouted, spittle flying from his lips.

He was mere inches away from her face. So close, in fact, that Chloe could smell his breath. It smelled sweet.

She took a moment to let them both compose themselves. “How do you help pay the bills, Nicholas?” she finally asked. Nicholas’ jaw clenched. “Because we don’t have any record of you holding an on campus job or any job for that matter.” Chloe paused, watching his face for the slightest flicker of recognition. When there was none, she continued. “I don’t want to assume because you seem like a nice boy, but the street we found you on is a popular spot for--”

“Drugs! Yes I know!” Nicholas’ chest was heaving now. His eyes looked as wild as they had when he’d tried to pull the knife from his chest. His eyes ran a quick length up and down her person, almost on the verge of tears. “I know,” he said again, voice shaking. “It’s been the only thing that makes ends meet.” He said the last word with a sob. “This was only my third time--it was gonna be my last time.” Nicholas gulped down a rattling breath. “The guy didn't like that. He said he wanted back all the money I’d made. When I said I didn’t have it, he pulled the knife on me.”

They sat in tense silence as the weight of the situation seemed to sink into Nicholas for the very first time.

“He almost killed me,” he half-whispered to himself.

Chloe refrained from correcting him.

Something about the way he’d wondered his last thought out loud reminded Chloe of the time she visited Jimmy Barns in the mental hospital. It took everything in her power to keep the discomforting thought from showing on her face. She let the silence stretch out between them for a minute more before she stood up. “I think that’s enough for one day.”

Nicholas whimpered.

“The LAPD will be in touch with you later this week to give a full, detailed account of the events that transpired this morning.” She uttered her scripted closing statement with the same sort of mechanicalness that Nicholas had when she’d first arrived.

Without waiting to hear his response, Chloe fled from the room. She didn’t even bother to walk down the hall and check in on Dan. Instead, Chloe made her way to the car, more than ready to leave and never come back.

To be completely honest, she couldn’t really pin down what was so unnerving about Nicholas Keller. The whole thousand yard stare thing was pretty creepy, but his sudden bouts of mania had been as frightening as they had been unexpected. Either way, Chloe was utterly exhausted emotionally and physically. Her heart had pounded when she’d seen Nicholas’ short fuse rear its ugly head.

His file hadn’t indicated any anger issues or bipolar disorder, but that didn’t mean they didn’t exist. Chloe knew from her experience on the force that men rarely got the source of their anger issues diagnosed, let alone put on a medical record.

When she got to the car, she wasn’t surprised to see that Dan was absent. As far as interviews go, Chloe’s had been relatively short. Even she hadn’t been expecting to get a confession that early on.

To pass the time waiting for Dan to finish up, Chloe made a few phone calls regarding the nature of Nicholas’ would-be murder. Their initial motive for it had been a mugging similar to their third victim’s, due to the fact that Nicholas’ wallet had been missing from the scene; however, in light of his recent confession, it was clear that was no longer the case. Just as she finished up her last call, Dan slid into the driver’s seat.

“Hey so guess what,” he said, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Hm?”

“I think I know what you were smelling earlier.”

Chloe’s head shot up. “Yeah?”

“So remember how you said the smell reminded you of the fair?” She nodded and gestured for him to continue. “Well I was interviewing Maria and I kept smelling this weird, nasty sweet smell, and I’m like ‘what is this?’ I couldn’t figure it out for a while until I remembered that the jacket I’m wearing right now was the same one I wore when we took Trix to the fair a couple weeks ago. I haven’t washed it since we were there so I wonder if that’s where the smell is coming from.”

Chloe so desperately wanted to believe Dan, she really did. She had enough weird shit going on right now that she was almost willing to just accept his theory. After all, his reasoning was pretty watertight. Still though, there was one thing that still didn’t make sense.

“As much as I’d love to believe you, Dan, I don’t think it’s your coat,” she said, fidgeting with a few papers in Nicholas’ folder.

His eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean?”

“I smelled the same thing in Nicholas’ room. It was, like, coming off of him.” Chloe shuddered just thinking about how gross it had been when some of Nicholas’ spit had hit her face.

“What like BO or something?” Dan said in disbelief.

She shrugged. “I guess.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah trust me, I know.”

Dan shook his head and turned the car on. “I guess that would explain why you caught a whiff of it at Alandra’s crime scene.”

Oh that’s right, she had. Chloe hadn’t even made that connection yet.

As they eased back onto the highway, Dan started back up again. “So not only do we have zombies now we have gross cotton candy smelling zombies. What the fuck even is this case.”

Chloe couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah. Do you want to know something weirder, though?”

“Hit me.”

“Nicholas’ murder wasn’t a mugging.”

Dan glanced over at her. “What? What was it then?”

“A drug deal gone wrong.”

“Aw, no!” He hit the steering wheel lightly. “Really? That kid?”

She nodded. “Yep, sadly. He said it was the only thing helping him pay the bills at the moment.”

Dan scoffed. “Poor kid.” He glanced in the rear view mirror and changed lanes. “Hey by the way we’re headed to the precinct. I got one of the techs to drive your car there so we wouldn’t have to go halfway across the city.”

Chloe breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God. Thank you, I really wasn’t looking forward to going back there.

“Oh yeah, also. How was your interview with Maria?”

“Eh, okay. It was a little creepy if I’m being honest.”

That got Chloe’s attention. “Why?” she asked, trying to keep it as neutral sounding as possible.

Dan made a noncommittal sound. “I don’t know. Maria was just kind of...different.” He gestured to the back seat. “Would you grab her file and see if she has any history of mental illness? I didn’t see any but I want you to double check.”

Chloe did as she was asked. “Nope, doesn’t look like it.”

Dan’s brow wrinkled. “Yeah okay that’s what I thought. Anyway so Maria was just, I don’t know--empty? That’s the only way I can describe it. It was like she wasn’t really there at all.”

“Like she was possessed or something?” Chloe prayed that wasn’t truly the case, she did not need another layer added to this shit sandwich.

“No, not like that. She was just really quiet and had this distant look on her face for a while. I hated it.” Chloe made a face. That didn’t sound good. “The whole thing was just a total Nope for me.”

She couldn’t agree more. “So did you get anything useful from the interview?”

“Yeah I got a few potential leads on who shot her, but that’s about it. You?”

Chloe sighed and threw both Nicholas’ and Maria’s files back into the back seat. “About the same here.”

“Fantastic,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Chloe hummed in agreement.

There was a beat of silence between them. Chloe’s mind drifted back to John and Lucifer, and this time she didn’t try to fight it. She’d have to call and check in with them over lunch. She knew she’d better start preparing herself now. Whenever Lucifer was involved, anything was possible. She frowned at that thought, thinking of just how much the realm of possibility had opened up in the past few days. Chloe glanced out the window at the cars whizzing by and decided that Linda would be getting a long phone call in the near future.

“It’s funny how people can just cling to life like this, huh?” Dan said, quietly breaking the silence.

Chloe forced herself to smile. “It sure is.”

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Of Jellicle Worldbuilding pt. ?????/??????????

beyond ye olde cutte is the beginning of spitballing lore for the new world in which the Jellicle Tribe is a part of. 

this is literally just spitballin and i assure you this may or not make sense, but either way, i hope y’all dig it LOL

as it develops i’ll just slap everything up here and see where it goes lmao

now for some assorted information such as humanoid/anthro (idk i like ‘anthro’ call me old fashioned) animal status/territory information and number of tribes/society information and rehash on Tugger’s storyteller/bard status as well as his shocking decision to groom himself as he did/Jellicle Junkyard territorial map/And More

TAKES PLACE HUNDREDS OF YEARS AFTER FALL OF HUMANITY, DON’T ASK, DOMESTIC CATS HAVE EVOLVED TO HUMANOIDS NOW

OTHER HUMANOID ANIMALS INCLUDE:

RATS

DOGS (BREED SPECIFIC)

WATER FOWL/BIRDS ARE RARE AND KNOWN BIRDS INCLUDE:

3 SWANS EASTERN USA AREA, 1 IN NY/NJ

2 DUCKS IN MIDWEST

1 CANADIAN GOOSE IN MIDWEST

1 OWL, 1 FALCON IN NORTHWEST

5 PIGEONS (RUMORED) IN WEST COAST

OTHER RUMORED/RARE:

GATORS

SHEEP

DEER

BOVINE

MOUNTAIN CATS

FOX

POSSUM

RACCOON

THESE ARE CONSIDERED RUMORED/RARE TO MOST TRIBES, BUT SPECIFICALLY IN EASTERN US/NEW ENGLAND

the tribal society that takes over New York State is considered “upscale” for the lack of a better word rn and probably one of the oldest and most respected societies.

there are roughly 50 tribes in the whole state. they are somewhat ranked and they have fluctuated throughout the years, of course.

TRIBAL TERRITORIES (NEEDS CAREFUL THOUGHT LOL)

tribal territories vary as being very close together and very far apart.

for the Staten Island Society, there are 3 tribes.

for the Manhattan Society, there are 4 tribes.

for the Brooklyn Society, there are 4 tribes.

for the Queens Society, there are 9 tribes.

- JFK AIRPORT TERRITORY ALSO ENCOMPASSES FROM BREEZY POINT TO FAR ROCKAWAY. THIS IS AN ENORMOUS TERRITORY AND HOME TO PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOLS AND ELITE.

- THERE ARE MEMBERS FROM OTHER TRIBES THAT LIVE HERE. MIXED OPINIONS ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THIS IS SEEN AS SPURNING THEIR TRIBE OR BOLSTERS THEIR REPUTATION.

the Jellicles have been highly ranked in the top 15 for the past 60 years or so, as Deut’s leadership has gotten stranger. whereas they’ve been solidly in the top 3 - 6 for decades, they’ve been lingering around 9 - 12 and have even dipped to 14 since Macavity’s exile. this does have many repercussions.

tribal territory varies. the Jellicle Junkyard is considered one of the more medium-sized types.

tribal territory are essentially towns, or even cities if they’re large enough. the tribe that occupies Central Park is one of the smaller tribes, of course, but have a damningly incredible location. that tribe also hosts a guard that’s nearly unmatched. they also offer training there and a market that’s very, very highly sought. they are known for their rugs, woven items like bags/baskets and even clothes

CLOTHES ARE UNCOMMON, AS A WHOLE, THOUGH THERE ARE A FEW TRIBES THAT HAVE TAKEN TO FULL OUTFITS

IT’S CONSIDERED VERY STRANGE TO EVEN HAVE ACCESSORIES, AND TRIBES WITH FULL WARDROBES TEND TO “DRESS DOWN” IN MAJOR SOCIETY

GROOMING TO SHORT HAIR OR EVEN SHAVING IS WHAT IS DONE WITH THE SICK

TUGGER HAVING GROOMED HIMSELF TO A MANE AND SHORT HAIR AND WEARING ACCESSORIES IS SHOCKING, ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A FULL LONG HAIR AND HE’S CHOSEN TO MESH BOTH LONG AND SHORT

(this was a ballsy idea and when he did it, Deut raised hell about it. Tugger very well could have destroyed the Jellicles’ social standing even more, and there was a huge uproar and the Jellicles were embarrassed. however, Tugger has proved himself - since this grooming was so revolutionary and rebellious that they expected him to be like Macavity in the way of a turncoat. it even affected his ambassador duties, since some tribes turned him away, refusing to have him amongst their people like that.

Tugger’s storytelling/bard abilities are highly valued in this society (and such talent is valuable elsewhere, too; the ? Festival in which he goes to compete against other storytellers across the country is two weeks long. it’s extremely competitive and even semi-finalists are treated with high honors. he made wild waves showing up to the Festival looking like that, as grooming is a mixed bag in other societies.

either way, his placing second that year was HUGE in his representing the Jellicles and the NY/NJ societies so that really softened opinions (but didn’t stop grumbling). he was invited back to tribes that had turned him away and the Jellicles’s ranking was saved - and improved.

however, his enormous steel balls are influencing society more and more, not just locally but across the country, since the Festival is bi-annual, and storytellers are the highest level of celebrity, considered extremely valuable and even revered. not many are bards as well as storytellers, and Tugger being both, as well as placing #1 at the Festival three years running, is doing stupid amounts of good for the society he’s a part of.

that should have been keeping the Jellicles high in their ranking in itself, but Deut and Macavity’s exile/leadership of the Syndicate/Outliers Clan is doing continuous damage.)

TRIBES ARE LARGELY GENERATIONAL, HOWEVER WILL WELCOME POTENTIAL TRIBAL MEMBERS FROM OTHER TRIBES (WITH RULES/LIMITATIONS) AND TEMPORARY MEMBERSHIP FOR TRAVELERS (LIKE A VISA) OR HOSPITALITY (LIKE A HOTEL)

(the Outliers Clan is only one piece of many under the Syndicate ofc, and his leadership of the Syndicate actually spans past NY/NJ, and this is an enormous deal, as the Outliers are growing in numbers and territory and this naturally makes A Lot Of People Mad).

landmarks are often named after their human (probably a new word for them) names (Old Times Square, Old Portland Bay, Old Jersey City, etc) though some have gotten new names.

for NY, the Empire State and Chrysler Building are destroyed.

TRIBE: JELLICLES

LOCATION: Manhattan, OLD TIMES SQUARE

CIVILIAN/RESIDENT POPULATION: 800?

PERIMETERS: SEE MAP (TENTATIVE)

SIGNIFICANT TERRITORIAL PROS:

- PENN STATION

- TIMES SQUARE

- BRYANT PARK

- FLATIRON BUILDING

- RADIO CITY

- 2 MUSEUMS

WINTER GARDEN THEATRE LMAO

TERRITORIAL CONS:

- FIGURE THAT OUT LATER LMAO

MANHATTAN FROM STERN TO STEM ~4hr WALK STRAIGHT DOWN

THE PROWL CAN PROBABLY PATROL THE ENTIRETY OF MANHATTAN AND WILL POSSIBLY MOVE TO BROOKLYN/BRONX/YONKERS SOMETIMES

THE PROWL is a HIGH HONOR and HIGH RANKING patrol/guard within The New York Tribal Protection Collective (NYTPC). the Prowl itself consists of Protectors from each tribe, sometimes two or three representing. they patrol their own section (Manhattan, etc) and will move across lines.

Munkustrap and Alonzo are members of the Prowl. there’re talks to promote Plato, too.

subways are used as pathways between areas obv and defunct train cars have been disassembled and they’ve basically unfolded them for easy walking across the rails, it’s very good merchant space and actually well air conditioned and heated as necessary.

electricity does exist and it’s constantly being updated and worked on; outages are a risk and there are electricians and engineers working 24/7 in shifts

Skimbleshanks is called the Railway Cat because he’s pretty much always on the railways as an electrician/engineer. he’s helping build and improve a facility in hopes of better transportation/making trains work again. he is a HIGHLY VALUABLE member of the Jellicles and society (across the entire country) and is a part of a coalition/guild for engineers/electricians/etc that are working to improve cross-country as well as local transportation and electrical advances.

other worldbuilding posts: 

the first one i did lmao

[heady-senpai]

One Piece 955: Enma

I took all day to write this up just so much to talk about from this chapter!

Let me just start by saying what a chapter!! 8.75/10

I was not expecting it to drop a day early & had no idea what to expect of this chapter until I saw the title...Enma 🤔😏

First things first. I believe Bege & company just stumbled upon Dressrosa. He mentioned they were stopping there for supplies. I wonder if any Straw Hat supporters are still around and if a conversation will strike up about Luffy.

------

Ok now to the chapter...

It starts off with Hiyori telling Zoro & Kawamatsu that she will not meet up with the rest of the alliance in order to not stir unneccessary emotions before the battle. Her brother stated this before so it wasn't a surprise. What surprised me was that Kawamatsu told the rest of the Scabbards that Hiyori was still alive & well.

I guess it's a morale booster but I have this weird feeling that something bad will happen to her now that everyone knows she's ok.

A couple random facts about Hiyori:

• She puts up a coarse attitude but is actually a crybaby

• She was a Tomboy who didn't typically speak refined & politely

(So funny how Momo was like, "A flying kick from someone 18yrs older would really hurt." Lol ik the struggle of being terrorized by a little sister hahah)

Now we get to the crazy good stuff!!!

O-Kiku might be one of the MVPs for finding the randomly lost Nidai Kitetsu. I had no idea where it was. Thought Kaido must've done something with it when Luffy was thrown into the Udon Prison Mines like kept it in a storage within the prison or something. Zoro states that he knew it was a Meito (famous/named blade) I guess with Sandai at his side he could feel the cursed vibes.

Rarely does Oda show us the actual tying of loose ends.

I guess Hiyori didn't go off to retrieve Enma & Orochi doesn't have Ame no Habakiri...Hitetsu Tenguyama had them both the whole time. That's why he had been patiently awaiting the return of the Kozuki Family.

I love every aspect of the design especially the sheath.

Seems as if both swords are of the same grade level as Shusui, O Wazamono, 21 Great Grade Swords. So Zoro won't be getting one of the 12 Supreme Grade Swords, Saijo O Wazamono, just yet and I'm fine with that.

Hitetsu tells Zoro only Oden was ever able to tame Enma & ODEN MUST'VE BEEN A BEAST because this sword is crazzyyyyy powerful. Kin'emon even said he himself would not even want to take the blade.

When testing out the sword Zoro tried to cut a tree but ended up cut off part of the cliff/island they were all on! Just insane lmao like I was not expecting that much of a power boost at all!

In the next panel we see the blade going black, coating in haki as Zoro's arm is also clad in haki, but looks drained & frail.

(Sanji's face was hilarious but damn I feel his pain lol Sanji is my favorite Straw Hat & just got a power boost now Zoro's power up makes Sanji's Raid Suit, look not as powerful so I have mixed feelings hahhaha but I love reading Zoro moments.)

So the thing with Enma is that it draws out its wielders haki to maximum extremes by itself. Any average sword wielder would've been drained completely and left dead.

Typically we've seen Zoro have swords with minds of their own but this one is just on another level.

Zoro yells for the sword to give him back his Ryou and takes it all back. Then we get that crazy Zoro smile like he knows this is going to be a challenge to tame the blade but he's ready to take that on to become even stronger. Hitetsu asks Zoro does he want another sword & obviously Zoro says he's keeping Enma, further impressing Kawamatsu.

[Now the text heavy part because I don't want to make 2 seperate posts for this review and want to only use my favorite images from the chapter]

Robin, Ashura Doji, & Kin'emon are discussing the sheer numbers that the alliance and their opposition have. Seems as if there will be approx. 30,000 enemies on Onigashima vs their 4000.

We then get quick panels of :

Franky yelling at his workers to prepare the boat to hold 10,000 men

(made me think hmmm Straw Hat Grand Fleet's over 5000 + the 4000+ men they already have...maybeeeee *Spongebob voice)

Luffy practicing Ryuo in Gear 4th stating that he used too much physical force

Zoro and Momo training in the forest and Zoro states an old man from his village is where he first heard Sunnachi (Snatch) & this surprises Momo.

With two days left before the raid Chopper, O-Tama, and Luffy return to meet with everyone else & the Yakuza bosses have added another 200 men to the resistance's ranks. (~4200 vs ~30,000)

Kin'emon states there hasn't been any word from Law (it's been a few days since he's been free & still hasn't contacted the group....hmmmm)

Silly Shinobu tells Kin'emon to forget about Law and Chopper has to speak some truth like hey Law is super strong. Law clearly makes a substantial difference, he's a cheat code in most situations!

There are still many men locked up in the Capital that wish to fight. I'm guessing only a few hundred more but still any help matters at this point. We also get to see many of the Wano townspeople discussing Yasu's encrypted message. Of course some still don't have faith but they will be proved wrong.

The alliance splits into its respective groups with the Scabbards, Shinobu, and Momo headed to the harbor, meeting Luffy there later.

The literature used here to describe the Scabbards and their shadows as the walked was magnificent. I also loved how the spelling for frost was shimo as in Shimotsuki. 🤔🤔

We see Pedro's & Lord Yasu's grave in the graveyard of Oden & his retainers. We also see Wanda & O-Toko shedding tears at theory loved one's graves. Carrot looks hardened & ready to go.

Hitetsu reveals to Zoro that he was the bladesmith of the Sandai Kitetsu. And states Enma & the Sandai cannot be wielded by the weak. Hitetsu also reveals why Zoro has had a quick take to Enma: the bladesmith who made Enma also created Zoro's main sword, the Wado Ichimonji. It was crafted by Yusaburo Shimotsuki, who fled Wano illegally over 50 years ago. Hiyori probably saw what swords Zoro held (Shusui, Wado Ichimonji, & Sandai Kitetsu) and decided he was worthy of her father's keepsake.

I just cannot believe that Hitetsu said that IN ZORO'S HANDS ENMA COULD RISE IN RANK & BECOME A BLACK BLADE! So then would it become O Saijo Wazamono???? Hmmmm I wonder.

It seems like Luffy has gotten a hell of a lot stronger! Didn't even get close to the tree and destroyed it from the other side (almost reminded me of that scene in Naruto when him and Sasuke battled on the roof of the hospital haha if you know you knowwww)

Law is definitely not the traitor. Like it's too obvious. Simply because Oda telegraphed this traitor vibe a couple times;I swear he's just messing with us.

Will Kyoshiro be revealed to be Denjiro soon?

I just wonder how Orochi found out this info.

And now we get a closing to Act II.

Just an epic chapter.

I swear Oda is hinting that Zoro may be a descendant/relative of the Shimotsuki family along with his teacher Koushirou.

Could even be a family tree like Hinata/Neji but I'm probably reaching there. Very interesting how bits and pieces of his past is flashed in front of us.

I guess only time will tell, but I bet Koushirou's father was Yusaburo Shimotsuki.

[bluestm]

                *     𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘   .    y’all  ever  wondered  what  an  actual  angel  looks  like ?  lemme  point  y’all  in  the  direction  of  oNE  zendaya  coleman ,  blessing  to  humans  everywhere . i’m  taking  the  torch  from  ares  n  her  beautiful  rendition  to  try  and  keep  this  lil  goddess  on  the  dash  in  the  form  of  my  darling  soft  sarcastic  fool , 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒕 . 𝒋𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 !  

  ⋆  ╰  another   year  at  hollingsworth  ,  another  year  of  the  big  six rivalry  .  i  hear  that  BLUE  ST.  JAMES is  ensuring  CHI MU OMEGA  gets  a  solid  pledge  class  and  stays  at  the  top  of  the  ranks  .  oh  ,  you’re  not  familiar  with  HER  ?  BLUE  is  the  ZENDAYA  look  alike  from  SEATTLE , WASHINGTON  .  a part  of  PC  ‘16  ,  she  is  majoring  in  HISTORY  and  has  plans  to  AUDITION  FOR  THE  AMERICAN  BALLET  THEATER  AND  REBUILD  HER  CRUMBLING  DANCE  CAREER after  undergrad  .  it  makes  sense  they  pledged  their  house  ,  their  SHARP-WITTED  &  ASSIDUOUS   attributes  make  them  perfect  matches  .  however  ,  their  ACQUIESCENT  &  OBSESSIVE  attributes  keep  their  name  alive  on  greek  rank  .  if  you  don’t  catch  them  dancing  to  SUPERMODEL  -  SZA  at  a  fraternity  band  party  this  year  ,  you’ll  be  sure  to  catch  them  nursing  their  morning  hangover  at  THE  CHI O  HOUSE  .  cheers  to  another  wild  semester !

⋆  ╰    𝑺  𝑻  𝑨  𝑻  𝑰  𝑺  𝑻  𝑰  𝑪  𝑺   .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍        𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 :         blue    ocean    st . james   𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬         :        i  applaud  u  if  u  can  make  a  nickname  out  of  “ blue “ 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆        /        𝒂𝒈𝒆 :        september    3rd  ,    twenty  -  one  𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄         :        virgo 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓        𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚        /        𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔         :         cisfemale    identifying        with        she   /  her   /   hers    pronouns           𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏         :         openly    pansexual    ,  panromantic 𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏        :           student   at   hworth   majoring    in    history     (   with   a   focus   in   the  history   of   art    and    literature    )  and    minoring   in    african  -  american  studies   ,    aspiring    pro   ballerina   𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔        𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆        :        hufflepuff 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏        𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅        𝒃𝒚         :       amy   from  booksmart   (  !!!!  ) ,  rory   gilmore    from  gilmore   girls   ,    stiles   stilinski   from  teen  wolf    (  !!!!!!!!! )   ,  grace  cardinal  &   cam  saunders  from  degrassi .       𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔      :        -        melancholic  ,    overly-critical   ,    obsessive   , neurotic ,  teeteringly  non-confrontational   ,    astray   , acquiescent  ,  craven

         +                benevolent    , magnanimous    ,  tactful ,  inventive   ,   perfectionist ,   steadfast ,  sharp-witted   ,   rigorous  ,  assiduous  , sympathetic  

⋆  ╰      𝑨  𝑵  𝑻  𝑬  𝑪  𝑬  𝑫  𝑬  𝑵  𝑻 .

my  concept  was  that  her  mom  ,  sonya  ackerman  ,  was  a  world-renowned  ballerina  ,  like  one  of  the  first  on  the  east  coast  and  had  a  massive  studio  that  took  off  in  seattle  as  one  of  the  premier  ballet  academies  for  dancers  of  color !her  dad  ,  theodore  st.  james  ,  was  a  criminal  prosecutor  training  to  become  an  assistant  district  attorney  in  georgia  ,   but  would  commute  out  to  washington  bc  obv  blue’s  mom  isn’t  gonna  just  abandon  what  she  worked  so  hard  to  build  .  her  parents  were  a  rather  stable  couple  ,  but  blue  can  easily  admit  what  a  piece  of  work  her  mom  was  and  the  fucking  number  she  did  on  those  around  her

part  of  pushing  so  hard  for  success  meant  having  a  lot  to  lose  ,  and  sonya  made  that  the  driving  point  of  not  just  her  life  ,  but  her  only  child’s  ,  a  bright-eyed  baby  girl  with  a  gaze  as  pensive  and  thought-provoking  as  the  color  she  was  named  after  .  blue  ocean  was  a  miracle  ,  a  gentle (  but  rather  prone  to fixating  )  soul  from  the  moment  her  curls  came  into  the  light  of  this  world  ,  and  was  her  father’s  pride  since  the  moment  he  held  her  .  suddenly  commutes  were  that  much  harder  ,  the  tension  of  having  a  marriage  and  a  daughter  only  on  the  weekends  and  being  left  a  stranger  to  your  own  child  all  because  of  your  wife’s  unyielding  stubbornness  really  did  a  number  on  theodore  which  led  to  the  eventual  demise  of  their  marriage  :/

blue  doesn’t  remember  much  leading  up  to  the  divorce  ,  but  she’s  smart  enough  to  recognize  her  dad  didn’t  just  up  and  leave  out  of  nowhere  .  he  later  tells  her  he  was  sure  he’d  get  at  least  shared  custody  ,  but  the  courts  surprisingly  ruled  in  sonya’s  favor  with  no  rational  logic  behind  it  other  than  her  claim  of  motherhood  .  being  raised  with  the  world’s  weight  on  her  shoulders  hugely  influenced  blue’s  personality  ,  ballet  being  the  only  thing  she  remembers  as  a  constant  in  her  life  .  never  one  to  lash  out  ,  blue  took  the  oppressive  upbringing  as  an  opportunity  to  prove  herself  —  maybe  this  wasn’t  her  dream  ,  but  she  was  a  perfectionist  obsessed  with  control  ,  and  she’d  take  whatever  path  her  mother  put  her  on  and  do  a  damn  good  job  at  it .

highschool  was  highschool  and  she  was  gone  almost  as  soon  as  she  had  arrived  ,  graduating  with  only  enough  friends  that  she  could  count  on  her  hand  ,  and  whisked  off  to  the  city  in  which  she  had  heard  in  countless  of  her  mother’s  nostalgic  throw-back  stories  growing  up  ,  attending  julliard’s  prestigious  ballet  program  as  if  to  honor  her  late  mother’s  legacy  at  her  alma  mater .  

excelling  through  classes  ,  nailing  audition  after  audition  for  a  coups  de  ballet  role  but  never  a  principal  ,  blue  builds  her  reputation  among  the  new  york  dance  scene  with  grace  and  humility  ,  inching  her  way  towards  her  ultimate  goal  of  the  american  ballet  theater  as  paved  by  misty  copeland  ,  the  only  hero  who  even  compares  to  her  mother  in  blue’s  eyes  .  she’s  just  a  few  more  well-timed  performances  away  from  the  life  she’s  always  envisioned  ,  until  a  sudden  phone  call  flips  her  life  on  it’s  head  .  she  hasn’t  addressed  her  mother’s  passing  ,  nor  its  details  ,  and  it’s  unlikely  a  person  with  such  an  emotionally  reserved  disposition  such  as  herself  will  ever  really  come  around  to  processing  it  out  loud  .  the  news  hits  halfway  through  sophomore  year  and  she  makes  it  until  finals  week  before  she  spends  a  week  in  the  hospital  ,  unravelled  and  unhinged  ,  dehydrated  from  her  sobs  and  weak  from  her  inability  to  keep  food  down  due  to  an  unrelenting  anxiety  she’s  never  known  quite  like  this  .  this  subtle  childhood  nature  of  fixation  and  perfection  manifests  as  a  full  blown  obsessive  compulsive  disorder  diagnosed  during  her  psych  eval  ,  releasing  her  with  a  script  and  a  recommendation  to  go  somewhere  where  she’s  got  a  support  system  .

hu  ,  only  a  half  hour  drive  from  her  father’s  firm  and  the  current  school  of  her  childhood  best  friend  ,  receives  an  application  days  later  ,  declaring  an  interest  in “ a  change  of  pace  from  the  world  of  ballet  and  an  interest  in  their  world-renowned  history  program .  ” she  gets  sucked  into  the  greek  world  without  truly  meaning  to  ,  wandering  aimlessly  through  her  new  life  as  she  auditions  for  different  ballet  troupes  and  bombs  each  attempt  .  feeling  empty  ,  distant  ,  and  the  impending  sense  of  personal  failure  ,  her  new  sisters  in  chi  mu  omega  give  her  a  constant  push  of  go-go-go  to  fill  her  days  with  a  distraction  from  her  thoughts  .  senior  year  rounds  its  head  ,  and  blue  wants  to  spend  it  pushing  herself  to  return  to  her  former  glory  ,  eyeing  the  next  year’s  productions  at  the  american  ballet  theater  and  her  dream  to  once  again  reach  the  point  she  receives  an  invitation  to  audition  .  she’s  not  quite  sure  if  this  will  fill  the  void  in  her  heart  ,  a  void  she’s  sure  she’s  known  nearly  her  whole  life  ,  but  she’s  got  nothing  prepared  in  her  back  pocket  ,  so  it’s  really  ,  at  this  point  ,  all  she  has  left  .

⋆  ╰      𝑨  𝑵  𝑨  𝑳  𝒀  𝑺  𝑰  𝑺  .

for  a  lil  personality  blurb  ,  my  renditions  of  blue  have  always  been  really  soft  and  nuturing  and  i  want  to  keep  an  element  of  that  ? she’s  a  gentle  soul  and  part  of  that  absolutely  stems  from  her  upbringing  bc  her  mom  was  ..  .  .  .  not  a  nice  lady  lmao  .  but  somehow  ,  between  her  mom  at  home  and  then  her  mom  in  the  ballet  studio  ,  it  just  made  blue  more  compassionate  ?  she’s  admittedly  a  little  intimidating  ,  and  her  defense  mechanism  has  become  a quick  wit  that  manifests  most  amusingly  in  her  sarcasm  .  the  world  can’t  hurt  u  if  u  make  fun  of  it  first  ,  right ! i  also  wanted  to  sprinkle  in  a  little  bit  of  doe-eyed  buffoon  which  i  think  fits  in  well  with  her  whole  quiet  type  persona  ,  so  her  humor  deviates  into  goofiness  that  also  occasionally  manifests  as  an  awkward  as  shit  interaction  if  she’s  feeling  a  little  off ( as  in  :  the  bitch  has  a 50/50  shot  of  delivering  a  SEARING  burn  or  stammering  so  hard  she  ends  up  rlly  just  roasting  herself  :/  it’s  a  mystery  to  see  what  u’ll  end  up  w  when  it  comes  to  blue  ,  sigh )

delving  in  a  little  deeper  ,  even  if  she  seems  like  this  sarcastic  scattered lowkey  dork ,  who  gives  the  illusion  she’s  mellow  and  unbothered  ,  she’s  a  severe  overthinker  and  any  convo  longer  than  about  10  minutes  will  yield  to  the  fact  that  blue  is  constantly  stressed  the  FUCK  out about  the  smallest  things  .  she’s  really  observant  and  has  an  uncanny  ability  to  clock  ppl  ,  which  would  make  her  QUITE  the  devilish  fiend  to  exploit  ppl’s  weaknesses  but  alas  ,  for  a.  she  does  not  give  a  shit  abt  anything  enough  to  treat  people  cruelly  and b.  does  not  have  enough  braincells  to  spare  from  her  stress  and  misery  to  be  fiendish  and  manipulative  KSDJFKJSDHF  this  makes  her  a  really  great  person  to  tell  secrets  to  bc  literally  who  the  FUCK  is  she  gonna  tell ?  is  her  argument  n  lowkey !  she  right ! SDFHSKDHF  

contrary  to  what  her  performance  background  may  lead  many  to  believe  ,  she  really  is  not  fond  of  being  at  the  forefront  of  attention  and  feels  more  comfortable  lingering  in  the  background  ,  minding  her  own  business ,  and  staying  in  her  lane  so  catch  her  being  all  but  INVISIBLE  to  the  greek  rank  blog  !  her  critical  struggle  in  life  is  her  obsessive  personality  ,  deeply  rooted  in  the  trauma  of  being  riased  with  the  unyielding  expectation  for  absolute  perfection  .  she  has  a  hard  time  letting  go  and  comes  close  to  having  a  meltdown  if  things  in  her  world  arent  completely  under  her  control  (  as  exemplified  by  the  mental  breakdown  faced  during  the  most  stressful  time  in  her  life  .  )  she’s  incredibly  hard  on  herself  and  really  ,  truly  is  lost  as  to  who  she  is  without  the  fixation  of  perfection  in  her  life  .  this  is  incredibly  curious  due  to  her  selective  nature  —  in  terms  of  grades  ,  she’s  only  slightly  above  average  ,  and  is  rarely  interested  in  being  competitive  with  other  people  .  it’s  almost  exclusively  a  competition  with  herself  regarding  the  most  interesting  and  unassuming  things  : especially  considering  that  ballet  ,  her  whole  life’s  work  and  effort  ,  isn’t  even  her  PASSION  .  on  the  low  ,  she  kinda  hates  dance  culture  ,  especially  the  ridigity  of  ballet  !  like  bitch  wha t  the  FU C K  are  u  working  so  hard  on  it  for  ?  n  that’s  one  of  her  major  fears  ,  deviating  from  what  she  knows  and  pursing  her  true  passions  ,  because  at  least  with  ballet  ,  she  knows  it  and  she  knows  she’s  naturally  exceptional  — something  she  can’t  guarantee  with  her  true  passions  ( yet  tbd  but  have  something  to  do  with  art  history    !  ) and  would  rather  not  pursue  if  the  option  of  failure  ,  aka non-perfection ,  is  something  she’d  have  to  face  .

hcs  : she  doesn’t  drive  bc  she  doesn’t  have  her  license  as  she  has  rlly  bad  test  anxiety  and  ate  shit  all  4  times  she  tried  to  take  it  (  suffice  the  implication  of  her  failure  rests  in  the  sulking  pout  she  wore  for  about  2  weeks  straight  as  she  refused  to  try  again  a  5th  time )  ,  is  an  on  and  off  vegetarian  and  HATES  herself  for  it  ,  usually  that  friend  who’s  goin  “  i’m  not  sure  about  this  guys  ..  .  ..  ”    while  still  allowing  herself  to  get  dragged  into  shenanigans  ,  hates  her  own  drama  n  avoids  it  but  wants  to  BATHE  in  the  tea  of  those  goin  on  around  her  sdfsdfs  ,  goes  to  bed  at  9:30  on  the  dot  so  parties  are  oft  a  STRUGGLE  ,  has  strong  mom  friend  energy  despite  barely  being  able  to  manage  herself  ,  is  a  nerd  n  knows  it  yet  uses  nerd  as  an  insult  ,  cannot  cook  for  her  LIFE  ,  and  a  lil  pinterest  board  is     here   ! oh  !  and  she  does  NOT   fuck  w   being  touched  unless  u  get  her  express  approval !!!

plots  :  i  didnt  think  i  would  get  this  far  in  one  go  so  hit  me  up  on  dis/cord  for  my  list  of  plots  that  im  abt  to  pull  out  of  my  ass  ;))))

[cantbehandled-ever]

thanks @satans-helper for tagging me in this get to know me tag! i’ve never done one this long, so here’s a bunch of info that no one wanted to know about me lmao

1. What’s your middle name?

- Lynn, which i hateee

2. how old are you?

- 19

3. when is your birthday?

- november 17th

4. what is your zodiac sign?

- scorpio sun, libra rising, pisces moon. i have two fucking water signs which explains why i’m so emotional

5. what’s your favorite shade of green?

- forest/emerald green

6. what’s your lucky number?

- 8

7. do you have any pets?

- yes! i have three dogs and i’d die for them

8. where are you from?

- originally chicago, but now i live in orlando

9. how tall are you?

- 5’9

10. what shoe size are you?

- 10 in women’s, 8.5 in men’s

11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

- 10

12. what was your last dream about?

- i dreamt that i ran off to live in a cave and raised goldfish as my past time, so i’m really jealous that i didn’t actually do that

13. what talents do you have?

- i can bs my way through stuff, because if i really need to, i can come off as decently eloquent. also i can sing kinda well, nothing amazing

14. are you psychic in any way?

- i’ve had dreams that ended up happening exactly like i dreamed them

15. favorite song?

- i could not tell you, but lately i’ve been listening to Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac several times a day

16. Favorite movie?

- the sixth sense (i just really like m. night shyamalan movies)

17. who would be our ideal partner?

- someone with a great sense of humor and i’m pretty anxious, so someone who is good at keeping calm

18. do you want children?

- nope lmao, but i do want to be an aunt. i like kids, but like only when i can give them back to their parents when i get tired of them lol

19. do you want a church wedding?

- not really, if i did end up having one, it would be bc the building was beautiful it would have nothing to do with it being a church

20. are you religious?

- no, long and sad history with religion. i do consider myself to be pretty spiritual and learning more about stuff like that is really interesting to me

21. have you ever been to a hospital?

- yep, last year over spring break i had to get my gallbladder removed:)))))))) my surgeon took pics of my gallbladder though and it’s super sick and gross looking so at least i have that

22. have you ever gotten into trouble with the law?

- nope

23. have you ever met any celebrities?

- i met andy mientus, but he’s not like a huge celebrity

24. baths or showers?

- showers, baths are gross

25. what color socks are you wearing?

- white and purple

26. have you ever been famous?

- not really, but when i was in fifth grade i submitted a poem i wrote to a publishing company and they put it into a book, so my elementary school made a big deal out of it, so i was like a local celebrity amongst ten year olds for a week lol

27. would you like to be a big celebrity?

- only if it was for music, because that’s the only way i could see myself being happy with it. however, i’d much rather just have my own niche audience and be super personal with them, but still make enough money that i could afford to have that be my only career

28. what type of music do you like?

- mainly rock and funkier music, but i can pretty much listen to anything

29. have you ever been skinny dipping?

- no, because i hate my body lol

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?

- 4

31. what position do you usually sleep in?

- i’m a stomach sleeper

32. how big is your house?

- i live in a tiny apartment

33. what do you typically have for breakfast?

- usually just coffee, but sometimes i’ll have a breakfast bar

34. have you ever fired a gun?

- yes and i hated it, it’s way too scary to hold something like that

35. have you ever tried archery?

- yeah! we had it as a unit in my middle school gym class and i wasn’t super horrible at it!

36. favorite clean word?

- indubitably

37. favorite swear word?

- it’s more of a statement but i say “fuck off” all the time

38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

- 29 when i was studying for finals last year

39. do you have any scars?

- several

40. have you ever had a secret admirer?

- yeah when i was seven

41. are you a good liar?

- when i need to be

42. are you a good judge of character?

- no i try to let everyone prove themselves, but mainly just makes me feel dumb when they screw me over

43. can you do any other accents other than your own?

- i don’t really have a midwestern accent anymore, but i can do one to make fun of my family members

44. do you have a strong accent?

- no

45. what’s your favorite accents?

- south african

46. what’s your personality type?

- advocate

47. what’s your most expensive piece of clothing?

- my doc martens were like $135 and i treat them like babies

48. can you curl your tongue?

- yep

49. are you an innie or an outie?

- bellybutton??? an innie but that’s super weird

50. left or right handed?

- right handed

51. are you scared of spiders?

- oh absolutely

52. favorite food?

- sushi

53. favorite foreign food?

- sushi or mexican food

54. are you a clean or messy person?

- both, i keep my room super messy, but any area of the apartment that i share with other people i keep spotless

55. most used phrase?

- “oh absolutely”

56. most used word?

- fuck

57. how long does it take you to get ready?

- roughly about an hour and 15 minutes

58. do you have much of an ego?

- depends, but in general i wouldn’t say so

59. do you suck or bite lollipops?

- suck

60. do you talk to yourself?

- who doesn’t?????

61. do you sing to yourself?

- all the time

62. are you good singer?

- i’m fine, nothing impressive

63. biggest fear?

- being kidnapped and also i’m really afraid of strange men, i can’t bring myself to trust both of them

64. are you a gossip?

- to my roommates

65. best dramatic movie you’ve ever seen?

- i really don’t know, i don’t watch a ton of dramas, mainly comedy

66. do you like long or short hair?

- on girls i like both, on guys i prefer long

67. can you name all 50 states in america?

- yeah if you gave me a few minutes

68. favorite school subject?

- biology

69. extrovert or introvert?

- introvert

70. have you ever been scuba diving?

- nope

71. what makes you nervous?

- i have anxiety :)))) so everything

72. are you scared of the dark?

- only if i’m in a strange place

73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?

- depends on my relationship with them

74. are you ticklish?

- holy shit yeah

75. have you ever started a rumor?

- nope

76. have you ever been in a position of authority?

- not one that mattered

77. have you drank underage?

- yes, i literally have more alcohol than food in my fridge rn

78. have you ever done drugs?

- yep, like three days ago

79. who was your first real crush?

- a kid named conner when i was in sixth grade

80. how many piercings do you have?

- four

81. can you roll your r’s?

- nope

82. how fast can you type?

- moderately fast

83. how fast can you run?

- not fast at all

84. what color is your hair?

- auburn

85. what color are your eyes?

- brown

86. what are you allergic to?

- shellfish

87. do you keep a journal?

- nope but i have a finsta which i use for the same reason

88. what do your parents do?

- my mom is a nurse and my dad used to be a firefighter

89. do you like your age?

- i mean i don’t like how close i am to being a real adult, but it’s fine

90. what makes you angry?

- lots of stuff

91. do you like your name?

- nope, i think it’s stupid

92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?

- nope, no children thanks

93. do you want a boy or a girl child?

- neither

94. what are your strengths?

- i’m a good problem solver and i have a good work ethic

95.what are your weaknesses?

- i am physically weak and wayyyyy too emotional

96. how did you get your name?

- my mom watched steel magnolias in college and decided she was going to name her first daughter shelby

97. were your ancestors royalty?

- i doubt it, but on the off chance, pls send money i’m broke :))))))

98. do you have any scars?

- yes

99. color of your bedspread?

- white

100. color of your room?

- yellow

im tagging: @blackbluemichael @flowrxchild @rosecolouredash @calumsdemons @ghostofcth @what-now-lucas

[junhee-moved]

TBAA in Budapest~

(((that’s the only photo I took)))

So I guess I promised to make a post of my experience about the a.c.e concert  in Budapest. This is gonna be very~ long so I understand if you don’t wanna read it dfghjkl the rest is under the cut (though I’m not sure if it’ll show on mobile). Highlights, favourite moments, hi-touch, summary of the members will be at the second half of the post so scroll down if you’re only curious about those.

First of all thank you to my two friends who were with me and a huge uwu to @salty-hun whom I’ve been friends with for more than a year and finally we were able to meet :’)))) I love you Vivi!!

Well the organization from the hungarian side was kind of a mess, basically they had no idea about the top10 existing (me and my friends were all in the top10 + 1, like the top10 got two vip tickets for free). So we were waiting about two hours to get information of what we were supposed to do. It was still a mess but in the end we figured it out. The korean staff were angels tbh. Some fans also didn’t know how to behave but oh well (the security were so done with us lmao). But some foreigner fans were giving out photocards which was so sweet :’)))

We were let into the venue around 7pm and I was in a shock. Like, dude I’m in the first!!! row!!! + there were extended parts of the stage both on the left and right side and in the middle. And the extended part of the stage from the left was IN. FRONT. OF. ME. My body was aching by the time the concert started but oh boy it was worth it!

Also there was a door behind the stage which was opened and everyone was looking whether a member would appear. And then Sehyoon was there and waved to us and then the staff closed the door :’DDD

I’m not sure whether you’re curios about the performances but I’ll try to say a little about them. They started with a video then an intro, then cactus and callin’ and then they introduced themselves. Jun and Byeongkwan said hello in hungarian with an A+++ accent, I was surprised :o Then they talked a bit about Hungary (Jun said he’d wanted to visit Budapest since he was 16 and none of the members knew about it. And they were really amazed by the hungarian sky lmao and then they said the sight in front of their eyes - the fans were more beautiful. They cringed so hard).

Then we had a screaming contest. Byeongkwan was on the right, Sehyoon in the middle and Junhee on the left (on the extended stage, in front of me. I died). And these parts of the audience had to scream. The middle (Sehyoon) part was the loudest.

Ugh, I’m honestly not sure about the order of the performances asdfghj I’ll say whatever I remember (god this post is a mess already, I’m so sorry).

I think Donghun and Chan performed All of me next and holy shit!!! Their vocals!!! are amazing!!! I might be (probably) biased but I fell in love with Chan’s voice.

Then we had the Taeyang dance covers. They. didn’t. have. to. go. that. hard. They’re all soooo great dancers!! But again, I might be biased but Jun totally caught my eye. Like he has such a strong stage presence and his facial expressions ooooof.

Then the Flashlight cover!!!! I waited for this performance the most. The whole atmosphere of this performance was magical.

I’m lost, I don’t think this was the order of the performances. We’ve also had a short stage of Donghun, Byeongkwan and Chan singing small parts of 3 songs. Chan was singing Miracles of December. them. honey. vocals. holy. cow. I’m not sure about what the other two sang but man, they were awesome!

Also a short stage of Chan singing Dessert, Black and Blue and Take Me Higher! This boyyyy!!!!

Then there was Black and Blue by Jun and Sehyoon. Let me tell you. My soul left my body. I was so not prepared to see this right in front of my eyes.

Then Dessert ot5 version + a little fanservice uwu. They also blessed our eyes with Take Me Higher ot5 version.

There was a short break when they announced a few winners from vip and ga/balcony (the prizes were signed posters and polaroids). We’ve all had our numbers on our wristbands and each member selected 2 winners. My number was 17 (vip) and they said vip 77, 7, balcony 17, so they really liked the number 7 but not me :’DDDD 

I feel so lucky, Youngblood - both slapped us in the face. Again, their voices were so on point!!

Near the end ment - I have to talk about it in the ‘my fave parts’ of this post.

They’ve also performed See you again + Make it nasty + the zombie dance. I kinda went blind during these performances, the lights were very strong. But I’m pretty sure I watched the whole with my mouth open because - again, amazing, wonderful, superb, jaw-dropping!!

BTS covers, Bigbang covers - you should know that Park Junhee is anything but a good boy *cough*

Finally we had the group photo, 5tar and Take me higher as the encore. More about it in ‘my fave parts’.

HIGHLIGHTS, MY FAVE PARTS

the way Junhee said ‘szia’

Junhee choking on smoke

Junhee saying he was so looking forward to the tour because Budapest was in there

Chan missing his pocket while trying to put his hand in it and donghun laughing at him

them saying the audience is more beautiful then the sky

Chan being a super-duper-hyper-playful baby and the others loving him to bits

Sehyoon’s overdramatic reaction during the screaming contest

Seyhoon nunchaku-ing(??? lmfao how to say this) with his towel

Donghun coughing in the mic in the middle of singing and the others making fun of him

Donghun starting to sing Do you wanna build a snowman when Chan said he’s gonna sing a winter song

the fans turning on their flashlights during the performance

them pointing out fans who didn’t turn on their flashlights

BLACK. AND. BLUE.

ZOMBIE. DANCE.

flashing their abs during Make it nasty like there’s no tomorrow

Junhee’s twerking

Donghun being hype

Donghun high five-ing the crowd during Dessert

Chan’s sulking when Jun said there’s one missing part in Take me higher (aka Chan)

Junhee saying Chan is gonna leave the stage if we’re not energetic enough and Chan protesting

Donghun expecting fans to finish the lyrics of Take me higher then making a face when we didn’t know the lyrics

them telling us to dance if we feel like (insert hyungwon mantis-dance-like moves)

Chan telling the fans not to cry

A.C.E loving their maknae

Junhee being 90% of the time on the left side of the extended stage. in front. of. me.

Just them being constatóntly on the extended parts of the stage.

Junhee being an awesome speaker

Jun high five-ing me in the end of the encore

Donghun taking my banner. He gave it back in the end of 5tar and thanked me.

Sehyoon collecting banners.

Sehyoon taking my friend’s banner and not giving it back to her. rip.

Chan telling us to scream during the group photo but to make a pretty face

Chan telling us to scream during the panorama picture (I can’t explain this, it was funny)

me being barely visible in the group photo

my friends not being visible in the group photo rip

Byeongkwan’s dancing

the ment. Sehyoon talking about how he had to go to the hospital for the first time in a foreign country and how he had trouble communicating and accidentally ended up at the emergency. He told us that he was sent to another hospital where the doctor took him to a pharmacy and bought Sehyoon the medicine he needed. Yeah this was the time I started crying like a baby.

Byeongkwan telling us he wasn’t feeling too good and he will need some of Sehyoon’s medicine.

the translator buffering for a second and Byeongkwan making a what’s-going-on face

the surprise video from us. Jun and Chan got so emotional

Byeongkwan’s new name is BK. Donghun’s is DH. They were calling each other like that lol also Wow introduced himself as King Wow

Wowkwan.

them loving the banners

the whole 5tar and encore Take me higher performance. They were singing and dancing in front of us, waving, high five-ing and shit. Fanserbice on point.

them mentioning about the special project and filming the fans

them wanting to come back 

them being the most humble human beings ever

the translator was awesome

we could hear the members talking, the fans were very respectful

the fans were also respecting each other during the concert

ABOUT THE MEMBERS

Junhee - so charismatic!! like I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. His stage presence is no joke! He was really having a fun time. He interacted a lot with the fans. He was rude af. A natural leader. His smile!!!!!! Dimples!!! His hands are indeed smol lol His hyserical laugh is amazing! So are his dimples (again). The concert proved me that black haired Jun is superior!

Donghun - his vocals holy heaven!! He was really energetic and smiley the whole time. His hair was so floofy! He also interacted a lot with the fans. He was kinda in his own world with Chan, like these two together were having fun lol I died a little when he took my banner and then said thank you. Bodyrolls.

Sehyoon - his dancing!! beautiful!! So is his smile! He wasn’t talking a lot, maybe because he wasn’t feeling too well or was just shy. But he was really adorable while communicating with the audience. He collected banners lmao he was so extra at times. Very humble. I loved his hair.

Byeongkwan - he wasn’t too much at the left side of the stage :( and he seemed kinda quiet and tired. I hope he gets well soon. But he’s an awesome performer! Very powerful. He and Sehyoon had fun while collecting and examining the banners. He was trying to include everyone when he was filming the crowd.

Chan - oh! my! god! The cutest person! Like he was having such a great time! He was just randomly dancing around all the time. Him and Donghun tho haha His voice is the most beautiful thing ever. His laugh! A literal sunshine! He got kinda emotional during the surprise video. All the members treasure him.

OT5 - their chemistry!!! They genuinely seemed like they were having the time of their lives. They were so silly and cute and funny, and they loved the audience! Honestly, I don’t think they’re THAT short. They’re average. They were rude at times too. I’ve heard a lot that they’re more beautiful irl but I wasn’t sure how that works but boy!!!! They are stunning!!! Their skin?? Drop your skincare routine pls!! Ethereal beings.

HI TOUCH

IT’S A BLUR!!! It was too short and the room was pretty dark too. Also they were seated so I couldn’t really tell how tall they are lol + I only had time to say a short thank you to all of them.

Chan was the first. He was so cheerful and loud, like I couldn’t even see him yet but I heard him shouting THANK YOU!! He was all smiley and cute and his hand was quite big and soft :’)))

Donghun was the second, he was also very smiley and sweet :’))

I’m not sure if Byeongkwan or Sehyoon was the next. I think it was Byeongkwan. He looked really tired :(

Sehyoon had that beautiful smile on his face. My heart? Melted.

Jun was the last, he looked super tired :((( Like he didn’t even look at us, he just seemed like he wanted to be done with the hi touch asap

Overall

I had an awesome time! I can’t believe I saw them live and they’re actually real people. It all feels like a dream. They’re very kind, humble people who love us so much! I love them too :’))))))) I laughed a lot and cried like a baby. No regrets (Jun said to do everything we want so we wouldn’t have any regrets later). Can’t wait to see them again. Oh yeah, my bias is indeed Jun (or Chan rip)

Okayyyy this is very long and messy and I’m embarassed to post it, I’m so so sorry :(((

[cantusecho]

(Okay, episode 3 shizz.

Let me get one thing out the way; I’m very glad that Shirabe and Kirika are getting more screentime. These two have been teaming up and beating the villains two episodes in a row with their combos. It’s fantastic.

That happens later in the episode but I just...love it haha.

But okay! This episode was calmer than last week. Technically, last week was calm right up until the VERY end so I guess I should say there wasn’t a huge huge shocker at the end (at least to me...though there is a reveal).

What they start on is, surprisingly, the indirect mention of Hibiki’s parents. I didn’t think they’d be mentioned again but guess it makes sense in hindsight. And for those that don’t know, I simply headcanoned that Hibiki’s parents didn’t live together because literally trying to piece together a family that had issues unspoken for YEARS can’t suddenly just be a happy family again. With no real answers after the end of GX (which was basically four years ago), this is why I came up with it.

And that’s what Hibiki confirms, much to my relief.

(note: these are fansubs. The ones done by Crunchyroll say “Sometimes they’re together. Most of the time they’re not.” Basically the same thing.)

Her saying this has relieved me so much that it’s hard to explain. However, it’s actually really sad that she sees this with her parents, and yet the obvious parallel between her and Miku shows heavily in this scene too, just with a simple response.

It’s a lot. But I’d be here all day if I spoke about my feelings on this small scene, haha.

Also, with Tsubasa.  She seems to be fine physically, but her mind/brain waves has been showing to be irregular after the concert. Understandably so. But I can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with Millaarc’s “Seal Invasion” technique because it must do something to the brain.

Millaarc actually attempts to do it on Hibiki this episode but it doesn’t work. All it does is stun her.

But in terms of Tsubasa, she caught her VERY off guard, which I assume caused the full effect of the skill/ability on her. But there’s no telling what it does exactly since we haven’t seen it yet.

Everyone is reasonably worried about Tsubasa, even more so once Fudou shows up and practically shuts Tsubasa down.

Just in case the pictures don’t show up properly, here’s the whole conversation in text because I find the entire thing important:

Tsubasa: Sorry for making you worry. But everything is fine now.

Fudou: What do you mean exactly by “everything is fine”? I will not allow you to say that you have forgotten about how you permitted barbarians to trample our country, Tsubasa!

Tsubasa: Of course I haven’t forgotten. The scene of such a tragedy is a weight that I must bear for the mistakes I have made.

Fudou: For an ineffectual Sentinel such as yourself, protecting everyone is nothing more than a dream beyond a dream.

Tsubasa: I can’t protect anyone...as I am now...?

Fudou: I’m telling you that your songs will never protect the world.

Tsubasa: I can’t protect the world...with my songs...

Fudou: I still hold high expectations for you, given the blood that flows through you.

Hibiki: Tsubasa-san...

Tsubasa: Worry not, Tachibana. A tempered sword will not break so easily.

For him to straight up tell her to her face that songs won’t help people, and that she herself can’t protect anyone, feels like a double blow after seeing so many people die at the concert, especially watching that girl being killed in front of her. It’s almost like, Tsubasa not being able to protect that girl like Kanade managed to save Hibiki back at the Zwei Wing concert. It was already clear enough that Tsubasa would put blame on herself and this makes it worse (and we don’t know how Millaarc’s ability will effect her to add onto it). Now the reveal at the end makes me even more annoyed at him about this but I’ll mention that later.

So, it seems that Millaarc and Elsa need a specific type of rare blood in order to either keep themselves alive, or able to fight. With them being failed experiments (their backgrounds were revealed in keywords this week, and they’re pretty intense as we would expect) I can see this making sense.

(Side note: Elsa, Vanessa and Millaarc are all based off of ancient monsters. Millaarc is already a anagram for Carmilla, basically an ancient vampire in fiction. Elsa is to signify werewolves while Vanessa signifies Frankenstein. This shows in the opening.)

Elsa

Full name: Elsa Bete.

She hails from Lozère, France. After many of her relatives fell victim to assaults and kidnappings, the Bavarian Illuminati took her in for use in experiments.

As well as having undergone surgery to increase the sensitivity of her nerves, she was also augmented to allow faster reaction times and parallel information processing.

She uses her inhuman speed and manipulator devices known as "tail attachments" in combat.

In order to reduce the physical strain of such abilities, she was implanted with the DNA of several different beasts and as a result expresses some feral taint on her body.

Compared to Vanessa and Millaarc, she may be lacking in raw power but makes up for it in strategy, tactics, quick-wittedness, and flexibility.

Millaarc

Full name: Millaarc Cranstoun.

She hails from Styria, Austria. On a trip to Slovakia, she was kidnapped by an elite hunting club. At some point, she was sold off to a remote branch of the Bavarian Illuminati to be used in experiments.

One particular experiment entailed an attempt to use genetic manipulation to create monsters seen only in myth and legend. However, this experiment failed and she was unable become a true "vampire."

Despite this, she still hides herself in a bio-booster cloak known as a "chiroptera." This grants her the ability to fly as well as augment the strength of her arms and legs. If you look closely, she has a number of traits that reveal the original intention to create a vampire.

It is thought that her "stained glance" also has its origins in vampire legend.

(Note: Translations vary because I’ve seen mentions of Elsa actually being held captive by relatives in a abusive way? As well as Millaarc being taken in by a specific torture group of people in Slovakia).

There’s nothing on Vanessa yet but we may get a keyword for her next week, not sure. But regardless, it makes Millaarc’s comment to Tsubasa about being “weak” last episode all the more obvious. These villains are clearly weaker than the Gears so they use various other schemes and tricks to gain the upper hand. I find this interesting honestly, I’m glad they’re not overly powerful like Carol and Saint-Germain and her crew were like. It makes for a more interesting dynamic, at least to me.

Makes me all the more curious what they may possibly do in order to fulfill their goals.

As mentioned prior, Kirika and Shirabe end up taking on Millaarc and basically owning her with their combo attack. It takes Vanessa, who has been oddly quiet and “not doing anything” to stop the attack by shutting down the power, basically forcing Kirika and Shirabe to chose between fighting them or saving the hospital patients. So in turn, this allows Vanessa and her group to get away again.

Now at the very end of the episode before the credits, it’s shown that Fudou himself is working with Vanessa and them just to get the relic that was on that Custodian/Annunaki’s body in the previous episodes (named Shem-Ha. As for details on this, I can’t find anything as I research but there will more than likely be a keyword for it next week so I’ll wait until then). This, in my opinion, doesn’t come as a shocker mainly because he’s said that he wanted that Divine Power for Japan (and basically himself) at the end of AXZ. And this pretty much confirms it.

But what’s messed up about this is that he KNOWS what Millaarc has done to Tsubasa, and all those people at the concert. Surely he HAS to know, and the damage it has done to Tsubasa. It almost feels like, if we’re looking back at his comments to Tsubasa, he’s using it as a way to prove to her that songs are useless. Almost like she should give up on her dream of singing and basically become his sword for the family. Almost like “forget this silly dream of songs, it doesn’t save anyone. You becoming my sword for the family is truly what will protect people.” 

And that’s the type of mindset that Tsubasa’s been stuck in for YEARS. It took her meeting Hibiki and the others to finally, and slowly, break free from that harmful way of thinking (since she only considered herself a blade and had no regards for her own health or happiness). So, after what happened last week with her thinking that she can never protect anyone/anything, and THEN have Fudou rub it in her face (and us knowing that he’s working with the people that caused the chaos in the first place) is really...something.

Again, him doing this isn’t a surprise. Fudou is an asshole, probably the worst “dad” in this entire show lmao. He has no regards for his own family, all he wants is power and his own goal.

So it will be interesting where this leads and how this makes Tsubasa’s situation even more complicated, as the cast members pointed out.

Some random things that I enjoyed in the episode that aren’t related plot wise;

Kirika and Shirabe just remain to be far too adorable and dumb for their own good.

Hibiki and Chris teamwork is AWESOME. Plus those cool shots of Chris when she’s shooting the Alca-Noise.

Hibiki basically getting into an arm-wrestling match with Millaarc lol.

Elsa having a long braid/hair? (She’s adorable).

And another bonus Elsa:

Okay, that’s it. Lol.)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 134: A Magnificent Debut

Previously on BnHA: Some yakuza dickwad shot Amajiki with a bullet that deactivated his quirk. Kirishima ran off after him and laid him out with a manly punch. The guy acted like a good defeated villain for about 30 seconds, and then shot himself up with some sort of quirk-enhancing drug. Then he sprouted a bunch of swords from his body and tried to stab Kirishima. Kirishima flashed back to his quirk-strengthening training, and a pep talk that Bakugou gave him about never backing down. Present-day Kirishima then proceeded to hulk out into a badass unbreakable rock man.

Today on BnHA: Kirishima wraps up his fight and, spoiler alert, wins. Everyone congratulates him and it even ends up making the news. Meanwhile, Fat Gum relays the news about the quirk-suppressing and enhancing drugs to Nighteye. Several days later, Kirishima is called back in to his internship along with Deku, Tsuyu, and Ochako. All of them meet up at Nighteye’s office, along with the Big Three, Fat Gum, Ryuukyuu, and even Aizawa and Gran Torino. Nighteye informs them all that he’s gathered them to discuss the Eight Precepts.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 164 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

Kirishima Eijirou has turned into a weird sort of dinosaur looking dude made out of rock

and he’s running toward knifey stabby man, whose swords are now all broken, as you’ll recall

oh damn, knifey stabby man is making one last all-in play here

that’s enough swords to build the goddamn iron throne

Kirishima is taking the entire blow head-on because there are still people behind him and people in the shops around them

he’s so fucking heroic you guys

he’s thinking to himself that he’ll use brute force to overwhelm him. heeeeey. exactly like All Might said, huh

I was just starting to think to myself that I was getting a bit tired of Kirishima just turning into a rock dude and doing muscly rock dude things, and then this fucking happens and I’m like, “but damned if it isn’t satisfying to see Kirishima punch this guy so hard he goes flying off his feet, though”

and then I also remember that my all-time favorite moment in this series is not when Bakugou fought Deku the second time, or when All Might hugged Deku on the beach, or even when All Might hugged Bakugou, but rather when Kouta punched Deku in the nuts that one time

so idk. maybe at the end of the day I’m pretty simple-minded after all

that said, this guy had better be down for real this time

that was pretty manly, dude

one of the bystanders is like, “he’s so young... but such fury...” lmao. yes. look how furious

furious like a damn puppy

knifey stabby has started crying again

he’s fucking asking Kirishima to let him go. um, no lol

what the fuck Kirishima

“sorry I can’t do that because you shot my friend and tried to kill me after you just pulled this exact same stunt two minutes ago. but I will still be empathetic towards you because I’M LITERALLY THE NICEST PERSON”

seriously Kiri, Red Riot isn’t gonna cut it any more. time to change that hero name to Mister Nice Guy

and then when you get really pissed off, you can be all, “THAT DOES IT!!! NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY.” get it. I think it’s a good idea that could really catch on

now what is this son of a bitch up to

are you gonna launch yourself into the air or something. don’t do that, actually. Kirishima’s not that mobile. although it has been a while since we last saw FG so maybe he could show up and catch you

oh look. he is launching yourself into the air

Kirishima’s cursing himself for just standing there and letting him escape again. yeah, you dumb, boy

knifey stabby is gleefully whooping about how Kirishima is way too naive and trusting, and that he’s gonna get away! for sure! no way he’s getting caught!! famous last words, what do you mean, what are those

lol

as many times as this series has pulled the rug out from under me, it’s nice to still be able to call it every once in a while

FG’s capturing the guy with his quirk and reminding Kirishima that while villains may have any number of goals, the heroes’ goals are always the same: capture the villains without any victims

hey, that sounds familiar. basically just another way of saying “win and rescue”, isn’t it? All Might really was right

anyway here’s FG’s quirk

at first I read this as “5000 goopy” and I was like, “what an odd unit of measurement”

Kiri’s standing there excitedly and thinking “wow! FG beat him instantly!” but really all he did was stand there and absorb him into his goop

now a nice Kansai accented man is thanking Kiri and says he did amazing, and that he didn’t fail to notice how Kiri was purposely keeping knifey stabby focused on him so that he wouldn’t attack the others

what a nice thing to say in front of Kiri’s mentor!

LOOK AT THIS WHOLESOME CONTENT

[HAIR RUFFLES!!!!]

now we’re back by the takoyaki place and Kiri is apparently telling FG and Amajiki about the quirk-enhancing drug

FG seems to know a lot about this. he says the short duration indicates the drug is an Asian knockoff. apparently there are African ones that last up to 1-2 hours

how much do you want to bet that Overhaul kept all the long-lasting ones for his best guys

(ETA: sweet jesus imagine if he had. we would still be in that basement to this day)

one of the cops is running over to FG

looks like they found the “bullet” that ricocheted off of Kirishima’s hardened forehead earlier and are going to check it out

Kiri’s asking Amajiki if he’s okay, and Amajiki is hiding himself under his costume hood

he’s embarrassed not just because his quirk stopped working, but because his kouhai had to cover for him. d’aww

he says Kirishima is the same type as Mirio. “another of those that shines bright like the sun”

Kiri says Amajiki shines just as much!

I’m starting to feel like Kirishima may literally be compelled to say something whenever someone around him starts badmouthing themselves. like, he physically can’t stand there and let them

while they bond, Fat Gum is thinking to himself that although he’s familiar with the quirk-boosting drugs, he’s never heard of a drug that makes quirks unusable. and he’s thinking to himself that this doesn’t look good

so they’re gonna take Amajiki to the hospital to get him checked out. good call. why haven’t they already done that, in fact. why were they just standing around talking for so long

“for starters, let’s head back to the office.” dude. I’m glad you’re being chill about this, I guess, but there’s like no urgency at all

BACK TO U.A. HOORAY

Kaminari is excitedly waving his phone in Kirishima’s face and announcing that Kiri made the news

meanwhile Bakugou is grinding his teeth but not actually saying anything. does that count as being supportive

(ETA: ooh I forgot he was in this one panel here. probably because he does absolutely nothing at all. but he really sells that background gag though)

Ochako and Tsuyu made the news too! niiiiiice

Iida is telling them that they’ve “rendered a splendid service”

BUT

sometimes he reminds me of Percy from HP

now they’re talking about supplementary lessons and stuff. actually, yeah, I’m impressed Kiri is managing to juggle both the internship and his schoolwork. unlike the other interning students, he’s in the bottom 25% of the class. Ochako isn’t much better, but I’d bet her grades are more middling

apparently Sero was considering interning too (and he’d be great honestly), but he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it. I think he was ranked like 17th out of 20. I just posted that recap pretty recently

while everyone else sits there being excited about their internships, Deku is sitting there being moody af about his. and I can’t honestly blame him. All Might potentially dying, Nighteye believing Deku isn’t good enough and being determined to prove that Mirio is a better choice; and last but not least my poor sweet little jelly bean Eri whom I have not forgotten about and who is still in peril!! :|!

and Deku hasn’t forgotten about her either and says the thought of her is constantly present in his mind day in and day out

now it’s “several days later” and Kirishima and Deku are meeting up outside the dorms early in the morning and seem pleasantly surprised

and the girls too! that’s nice

obviously this is the day of the big operation Nighteye was talking about that he had called in additional agencies to help with. and as we know, their agencies were coincidentally the ones he called

though it doesn’t seem like they’ve actually realized that yet lol

they’re remarking on how they’re all taking the same train even though Kiri’s agency is in Kansai. he says he was told the meeting place is somewhere different than usual

weird that Deku was told he didn’t need his costume though. were the others told the same?

(ETA: I keep forgetting there is a really easy way to verify this, which is just to look and see if they’re actually carrying the costume briefcases lol. and they are not)

also, are their senpais already at the agency? Mirio and the rest?

lmao

how fucking slow are these kids

at this point if I were Deku I’d be half-suspecting some sort of weird surprise party lol

finally they’re turning the corner and there are Mirio, Hadou, and Amajiki

I wonder if Amajiki’s quirk is back yet??

OH MY GOD

EVEN FUCKING AIZAWA IS THERE. and Gran too! AND IS THAT SOME SORT OF FUCKING COCKROACH MAN HOLY SHIT I JUST SUPPRESSED A SHUDDER

so Deku’s freaking out that two of his teachers are there, and he’s trying to figure out what’s going on

dude, you know what’s going on. even I remember, and it’s been more than a week since I read the chapter where Nighteye mentioned this whole thing

so now Nighteye has arrived and is calling the meeting to order

and the chapter is just ending there. lol. okay

 BONUS:

I’m gonna be honest with you guys. I didn’t read this bonus page until literally the night before I posted this recap. it’s like that for all the bonus pages in this volume

and also, I’m not quite sure if this is the correct page for this chapter? but he is in the chapter, albeit just as a background character on that one page with Everybody

anyway. Centipeder. what can I say about him. he scares the living shit out of me. I’m so scared of centipedes. they’re so gross and they’re fucking sneaky and the few times I’ve seen them they were just chilling on the couch or even the bed without any warning omg. one time when I was in college there was a centipede hiding under the strap of my messenger bag and I didn’t notice until I’d already grabbed it and it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I would seriously take spiders over centipedes any fucking day

anyway. so here’s a centipede who’s six and a half feet tall. and they say he’s a hero and a gentlemen. sure. okay then. but I don’t trust him. pretty sure he is the U.A. traitor. even though he doesn’t actually work at U.A. he’s evil okay. just... I don’t want to look at him anymore lmao

[probably-not-star-lord]

Meet Cute (Wade Wilson x Reader)

A/N: So we’re just gonna go ahead and pretend Vanessa lowkey doesn't exist in the fic lmao

Request: Oof, if your still up for deadpool request. How about something where she was in similar circumstances as he was in in the first movie. It can be platonic if romance dosent work for the story. Also if you want it can be in headconnon thanks xxx

Request: About the deadpool request, yeah where they both have cancer (or another illness) and get taken to the mutant place where they meet and escape.

Summary: After being diagnosed with cancer, you’re sent to a facility that is designed to be a cure. Not only do you find a torturous way to get better, but also a man with an interesting charm.

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, Deadpool cause he counts as a warning

-

The day the doctor sat you down to tell you that you had late stage cancer was by far the worst in your life. Your friends and family weeped at the news, but tried their best to keep you healthy and happy in the remaining days you had left. Then, when a suspicious agent approached you on the street one day, you got your hopes up. Sure, the guy gave you the fucking creeps, but he guaranteed you’d get better. He also promised mutant abilities and what could go wrong with that? Everything sounded perfect!

Of course, everything was going wrong.

You had expected the day you found you had cancer to be the worst, but the day you were admitted into this facility with the promise of a cure is definitely number one on your list of shitty days. The cot they rolled you into your room on was dirty, uncomfortable, and made you feel restrained. You expected a cheerful hospital with bright walls and doctors with giant smiles, but instead this place was a living hell. Everything is filthy and dark, all the people are jerks, and you were informed you are going to be tortured until you get better.

Several days went by full of pain and suffering when the workers told you that you were close to being free of your cancer and unlocking your mutant ability. You wonder if it’s even worth it anymore with all of the bruises and cuts scattered all over your body. You felt sore, weak, and hopeless. By now you’d rather just go back to dying of cancer, surrounded by those you love.

“Ooh a room change!” a voice calls out in your room. You look up from your bed to find a man being rolled in on a cot by Ajax. Ajax is the asshole who met you when you first arrived here, alongside his companion Angel. They’re both complete dicks who find fun in hurting the poor people who get admitted here.

“Y/N,” he greets with a devilish smile. “You look like shit today.”

“Ajax,” you spit, glaring at him. “I would say you look like Dr. Doofenshmirtz today with that lab coat but I couldn’t disrespect him like that.”

“Wade!” the man on the cot yells with a cheery tone. How the fuck is he so happy here? Is he new? He sits up as much as he can and flashes you a grin and you suddenly become aware of the bruises and blood on his face. Wade looks like an absolute wreck but you somehow find him madly handsome. “Sorry, I thought we were yelling names,” he defends, pointing a finger at you. “Also, hot chick, that was a fucking amazing insult by the way.”

“Y/N, this is Wade Wilson, and he’ll being staying in this room with you until one of you moves onto the next progression of pain.”

Wade winks at you. “Thanks for putting me in the room with this sexy piece of ass and not that fucker who reeks. I think his name is Greg or whatever the fuck but he smells like shit,” he blabbers. “He kind of reminds me of you in that way, dish soap.”

You snicker at the nickname but quickly stifle your laughs when Ajax shoots you a glare. “Good luck sharing a room with him, Y/N. He’s the most annoying asshole you’ll ever meet,” he warns you before heading toward the door.

“No, that would be you,” you mumble, stopping Ajax in his tracks.

“I like her,” Wade chuckles. Ajax rolls his eyes and exits the room. “See you next time you beat the shit of me with your mutant fuckery!” he shouts after him. He turns his attention to you once again, checking you out more thoroughly. Even if your face is coated with sweat and blood or dark in some areas due to the bruising, Wade still thinks you’re the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his entire life.

“So...” you trail off, unsure of what to say.

“Well, this is the perfect meet cute isn’t it?” he snickers. “I feel like I’m in a Nicholas Sparks novel!”

“I guess so, huh? We’ll have quite the love story.“

“I bet we will,” he agrees with a kind smile.

The innocent flirting makes your heart race and you can feel your cheeks heating up. “Uh, how long have you been here?” you ask.

“A couple days, you?”

“It must be almost a month by now,” you sigh. “But I have no way of knowing for sure.”

“That really fucking sucks,” Wade responds. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry too, Wade.” You meet his eyes and give him a weak smile. He returns your smile, looking sympathetic and exhausted. Some part of you wants to take his pain away, make him feel better and help him get out of this hellhole. He looks like he’s been through a lot, and not just the days he’s spent here.

You and Wade share a room for quite some time, spending your days making fun of Ajax and Angel or sharing stories of times before you were brought here. Apparently his friends made the same efforts yours did when they found out he had cancer, making him eat and drink healthy stuff that tastes like shit. Overtime, you found yourself growing very fond of Wade, and the two of you both decided there is something there that would be worth giving a try if you ever escape. But, deep down, you know that is merely a dream.

Today has been a particularly shitty day. The workers have been hard on everyone, producing some extra pain out of all of you. You lay on your cot beside Wade’s, looking up at the dingy ceiling with tears in your eyes. “Wade?”

“Yeah?” he answers, voice meek and tired. He’s right where you are, hoping for something better and probably on the verge of death.

“Do you have a bucket list?” you ask. “Like what would you have wanted to do before you were taken here?”

Wade ponders for a moment before breaking a grin. “I’d want to get one last blowjob from my friend Weasel.”

You laugh loudly, being genuinely happy for the first time in a while. “What?”

“Oh, Weasel’s a bartender,” he explains. “Blowjob is the name of one his signature drinks that I force him to make.”

“Are they any good?”

“Blowjobs? Fuck yeah, I love a good blowjob.” You’re cracking up now, falling in love with Wade’s sense of humor. “What would you want to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know...” you mutter. “See my friends and family again? Watch my favorite movie? Have a good meal? You know, the usual bucket list shit.”

“That’s too generic!” Wade gasps. “You need something cool like...fucking Ryan Reynolds before you die.”

“That would be very, very nice.”

He scoffs. “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“You suggested it!”

“Well, maybe I meant I wanted to fuck Ryan Reynolds!” he jokes, causing the two of you to laugh even harder. “That man is absolutely beautiful and could have me anyway he wants.”

In between your laughs, you manage to speak. “You look almost exactly like him!”

“Really?” he questions with a smirk. “Are you saying that I am so fucking attractive I could have you any way I wanted? Cause I certainly have some ideas...”

You shrug, meeting his smirk with your own. You watch each other laugh as you continue to joke around, but eventually the giggles fade and the room is filled with a sad silence. “Honestly...if I could leave here the first thing I would want to do is see you,” he states seriously. “Like really see you, not tied down and worn out. I want to be happy with you, like normal people are with each other.”

You smile, a tear falling down your cheek. “I’d want to be with you too...just like normal people.”

“I’d want to kiss you.”

“I’d like that...” you whisper, extending your hand toward his cot as far as you can reach. Wade reaches out as well, taking your hand in his. For a brief moment, everything seems like it’s going to be okay.

“Lovely,” Ajax asserts, waltzing into the room. “I don't know about anyone else, but I'm touched.”

You quickly pull your hand from Wade’s, wanting nothing more but to touch him again. “Don’t worry, asshole, we’re only kidding.”

“No, no. It's okay. I encourage distractions. Wouldn't want you giving up on us, now would we?”

“Hey, don't take any shit from him, Y/N,” Wade says, shooting you a wink. “How tough can he be? You know...with a name like Francis.”

“Francis?” you chuckle. He smiles at you, loving the way you laugh, but Ajax just looks furious. You don’t know what the fuck Wade is doing, but you’re hoping it’s something helpful and not something that will cause him to get killed.

“That's his legal name. He really did get Ajax from the dish soap! F, R, A, N, C, I, oops! I snabbed the dry-cleaning tag off your lab coat. FYI, I could probably get you the super hero discount.”

“You are so relentlessly annoying,” Francis grunts. Yeah, like you’re going to think of him as Ajax now that you know his name is fucking Francis.

“Thanks, never heard that before.”

“Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up?” Francis threatens. “Or I'll sew your pretty mouth shut.”

“Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. See, here's the problem with round-the-clock torture,” Wade explains. “You can't really step it up from there.”

Francis smiles wildly, sending you an unsettling feeling. “I was actually here just to inform Y/N her cancer is cured, and that she unlocked her mutation... you know I find so much pleasure in that,” he says, strutting over to Wade’s cot. “But now I think I might have to prove to you that you’re wrong.”

Wade gulps as Francis grips his cot and rolls him out of the room. As he exits the doorway, his brown eyes find yours and you see nothing but fear. “Wade...” you mumble to yourself, clutching onto your restraints tightly in hopes they could break, but you know they won’t. Your heart breaks, knowing you’ll most likely never see him again, but then Francis reenters the room.

“Oh, you didn’t think I was just going to leave you out, did you?” he asks, pushing your cot out of the room as well. “I wouldn’t want you to miss the show.”

In the room you see Wade being strapped down in some sort of machine that looks like a clear tube. “What is that? What are you going to do to him?”

“Worried about your little boyfriend?” Francis laughs maniacally, walking over to stand beside Wade as he’s being secured. “If this doesn't unlock your mutation, well... Nothing will. Now, what we're going to do is lower the oxygen concentration in there to the exact point you feel like you're suffocating. If your brain waves slow, meaning you're about to pass out, then we'll turn up the O2. If your heart rate slows, meaning you're able to catch your breath, we'll turn it back down. And that's where we'll leave you...right there.”

Wade groans. “I thought you guys were dicks before.” You can tell he’s trying to keep his humor, despite being completely unaware of whatever is about to happen to him.

“You know the funniest part of all this?” Francis quizzes. “You still think we're making you a super hero. You, a dishonorable discharge hook deep in hookers? You're nothing. Our secret, mate, is that this workshop doesn't make super heroes. We make super slaves. We're gonna fit you with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. Who knows what they'll have you do...terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters, maybe just mow the occasional lawn.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Wade seethes.

“You're never going home after this.” You cringe at the way Francis speaks, knowing something terrible is coming for Wade, who looks terrified. “Now there’s a brave face,” Francis reveals. He starts to close the machine, but Wade stops him.

“Wait, wait,” he commands. “Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now.” Usually, you’d laugh at his jokes and admire the way he’s remaining lighthearted. But right now you’re far too worried about Wade to feel anything other than pure terror.

“Enjoy your weekend.” Francis slams the machine shut and saunters over to the controls.

“Weekend?” he asks. “Back up, weekend?”

“What the fuck are you going to do to him?” you shriek, but there is no answer. Instead, Francis starts the machine and sends a chilling grin to the two of you before leaving the room. You watch as Wade struggles to breathe, trying to get as much oxygen into his lungs as he can. You hate to see him like this so you scream and cry, fighting against your restraints in hopes that one of these workers will have the heart to save Wade. Your vision gets blurry as your eyes fill with tears, hearing Wade gasp and knowing there is nothing you can do to protect him from the hell he is enduring.

Soon, night falls, and a whole day passes until night consumes you once again. It’s been impossible for you to fall asleep with Wade struggling right beside you. You’ve spent your time sobbing quietly or closing your eyes trying to not watch. But, the exhaustion becomes you, and your eyes start to flutter shut as a few remaining tears fall out of them. You’re barely asleep when you hear Wade scream and your gaze instantly falls on him in the tank. You watch in horror as his skin transforms, covering itself in scars slowly as they make their up to his face, changing the way he looks forever. You’re unable to sleep again that night.

The next morning, Francis enters the room and turns off the machine. Wade sucks in as much air as he can, regaining a steady breathing pattern. “Wade!” you cry, but he’s too angry to answer.

“Fucking hell,” Francis announces, looking Wade over. “Looks like someone lost his shot at homecoming king.”

“What have you done to me?” he bellows furiously.

“I've merely raised your stress levels high enough to trigger a mutation.”

“You sadistic fuck!”

“I've cured you, Wade. Now your mutated cells can heal anything. It's attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. You know, I've seen some of the side effects before...I could cure them. But where's the fun in that? Now I'm gonna shut you in again Wade. Not because I need to, but because I want to,” he conveys, looking to Angel so he can command her. “Ah, well, go ahead.”

You are at a loss for words. The idea of Wade being shut in that machine again, crying for help that will never come, shatters your heart to pieces. You don’t want to be here anymore, you never wanted to be here, but now it seems impossible to stay. Angel fiddles with Wade’s straps as you fight against your own, praying your mutant abilities can somehow bust you out. The workers ignore your suffering and continue to focus on Wade. “You smell like shit,” Angel insults. Wade head butts her but you notice something peculiar in the way he does it. When she backs up, the match that usually hangs from her mouth is missing. “Mother fucker-”

“Hey, hey, hey! It's alright! It's alright. I think we owe him that, yeah? Take off. Go on, off you go,” Francis sends Angel from the room. “Quick question...what's my name?” Wade doesn’t reply, meeting your gaze with sad eyes. You know exactly what he’s planning.

“Wade...no...” you whisper, but no one hears you. He nods to you, hoping you’ll understand. What if it kills him? But, what if it works? So, you do understand, but you don't know if you want him to do it. Francis, however, doesn't understand at all.

“Didn’t think so,” he states, shutting the machine and turning it on once again.

After he leaves, Wade reveals the match he was hiding in his mouth. You shudder as you watch him light it and chuck it towards the oxygen vent. The two of you stare into each other’s eyes smiling, knowing what’s about to come. Within seconds, the facility explodes as fire erupts everywhere around you. To your surprise, you don’t feel as much pain as you thought you would, and all of your wounds heal almost as soon as they are made.

You break free from your restraints as they burn, and run off into the flames in search of Wade. You sprint right into a large body, and are relieved to find who it is. “Wade!” you yell in delight, wrapping your arms around him for the first time. He returns the embrace, holding you as tight as possible, but when you pull away he still looks miserable.

“You definitely don’t feel the same way you did before,” he mumbles.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Now that I look like...like this. You can’t still-”

You roll your eyes and swing your arms around his neck, pulling him down so he's inches away from your face. “Don’t be ridiculous, Wade.” You smirk up at him and quickly smash your lips on his. He’s stunned by your boldness but gives into the kiss easily, loving the way you still care for him despite everything.

He pulls away from the kiss slowly and presses his forehead against yours. The two of you smile brightly and genuinely for the first time in a very long time. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he says, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. Wade envelops your hand in his as you look out into the distance, ready for whatever is going to hit you guys next.

So, hand in hand, you and the soon-to-be Deadpool run away together from the  fucked up mutant factory. But, in some twisted way, you’re grateful for the facility, as it lead you to the love of your life.

A/N: Yikes that was long as fuck but I really liked how this came out so I hope that’s cool with y’all lmao