#but not just hooking up which is much funnier

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of pining? Try gay sex! (More things to learn over at Tiger Tiger!)

[yeonban]

Being in Tobias' mind is such an intriguing experience bc you'd typically expect him to only care about getting richer and richer for riches' sake like most other "villains" do, but all he wants is excitement, fun and the feeling of being alive. He couldn't care less if his life were to be put at stake, nor if his entire wealth were to vanish overnight. Sure, he's confident he could get it all back if it ever happened, but it also shows what money is to him. A means to an end, rather than the goal to strive for

[miley1442111]

heyy, i love your writing! I was thinking a rafe x fem reader, where Rafe says they don’t have anything, she was just a hook up etc when he was actually just scared of having feelings for a girl for the first time in his life. she gets with JJ to make him jealous and it works, but instead of being that mad Rafe Cameron he just open his heart and his fears to her (even end up crying a bit)

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mistakes and misjudgements

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a/n: hi! thank you so much for requesting! I love this idea!

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader

summary: i suggest you look at the request

warnings: kissing, toxic relationship, rafe is confused, cursing, drinking, suggestive mentions, mentions of rafe's addictions (i think that's it?)

not entirely proofread

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Rafe walked past the bar, his eyes searching for yours. You, the pogue bartender at the club, had caught the Rafe Cameron’s eye, and he wasn’t about to let you go. 

He was met with Jj. His smile dropped, while Jj’s smirk rose. 

“What can I get you, Cameron? A vodka cranberry? I can mix it with the blood of the people you’ve murdered?-”

Jj stopped talking when Rafe leaned in closer. 

“Just a water, thanks.” 

Jj nodded and walked to the fridge to grab him a bottle, and then you walked up, and he watched as Rafe’s demeanour changed. He was softer, sweeter, and funnier. Jj almost laughed out loud at the way Rafe pushed some hair back from your face, that sickly sweet smile on his face. 

Jj moved you over, his hands on your waist and handed Rafe his water. “Water for the gentleman.”

Rafe’s smile dropped. “Thanks man.”

“Oh, Jj, this is my boyfriend, Rafe,” you smiled, introducing the two.

Bile rose in Rafe's stomach. Were you two dating? But that came with so much more than just the fun dates you two were indulging in. That would mean he’d have to be vulnerable with you. And the fact that you hated his drug use, something he’d been struggling to stop for a while now. And he knew you were too good for him, it was only a matter of time before you figured it out yourself and-

His mouth moved before his brain could stop it. “Woah,” Rafe deflected. “I’m not her boyfriend, we’re just… casual,” he shrugged. 

Your face fell and Rafe had never felt so bad. “Right, casual.”

You hated that word. You hated how he used it. You hated how you thought, even just for a second, that you would settle for that.

Jj’s smile widened. “Well, there’s your water. See you ‘round Kook,” and with that, Jj turned his back on Rafe and turned to you. “You alright?”

You nodded, more annoyed than anything else. “He’s such an asshole.”

“I hate to say ‘I told you so’, but I did warn you-” before he could finish you hit him with a towel, which ended up in a towel fight in the bar, neither of you aware of the searing eyes of Rafe Cameron. 

Maybe he’d fucked up. Maybe he did want to be your boyfriend. 

Maybe. 

Jj was appalled at what Rafe had done. Casual? What was wrong with him? He had the prettiest, kindest, most amazing girl on the island, if not the world, and he was throwing it away, for what? To fuck other people? That didn’t make any sense. So you two made a plan.  

He was going to ask you out. Now, Jj liked you, yes, but as a friend. You liked Jj, yes, but again, as a friend. So you two could ‘go out’ with each other and make Rafe jealous. For the simple reason of principal, you had to make Rafe pay, it was only fair. 

---------------------

When you walked into the party, you immediately found Jj and clung to him for the whole night. Everyone was talking about you two, especially since most people thought you were dating Rafe. 

You two danced, drank, and even made out, and by the end of the night, you knew you’d sent a message Rafe’s way by the amount of texts you’d received.  

Rafe: Wtf are you doing with him?

Rafe: Text me back.

Rafe: Stop being so close to him. Come talk to me 

Rafe: Please Y/n.

Rafe: I got the fucking message now stop it.

Rafe: You have my attention, you always do. Get off of him.

Rafe: Please come talk to me.

Rafe: Y/n stop.

Rafe: Please. 

Rafe: I know I fucked up, come on. This isn’t fair.

Rafe: I made a mistake Y/n, I’m sorry.

Rafe: Fuck this, I’ll be at Tanneyhill when you’re ready to talk to me like an adult. 

Rafe: Please talk to me. Please.

You chuckled as you read through the messages, Sarah by your side. 

“Oh my god! That’s why he was so upset leaving the party!” she laughed. 

Your stomach dropped. Rafe shouldn't have been upset, he didn't care about you, right? You were just another girl he was talking to and planning on fucking, right? “What do you mean?”

“Oh yeah, Kelce was telling me he was super worked up and upset all night so he left. He didn’t even do anything but he was pacing the entire night. Top though he’d had a panic attack.”

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath. “Hey, I think I might call it a night,” you turned to the group. 

“Aww come on! The night’s just started,” Kiara pleaded, you chuckled and shook your head. 

“I’m tired!” you lied. “And I have work tomorrow.”

You needed to talk to Rafe right now. 

---------------------

The walk from the beach to Tanneyhill was quick but full of quiet and anxious scenarios. You didn’t mean to make him upset, you just wanted to show him what he was missing. He embarrassed you earlier, and you wanted to get him back. You never meant to cause harm. 

You knocked on the door, hoping he was ok, and internally hoping it would be him to open the door, considering you were wearing a very short dress that you knew Rose would turn her nose up at. 

The door swung open to reveal… Rafe. 

But he looked… upset? His eyes were red-rimmed and his nose was sniffly, he’d been crying. You’d made him cry. 

“Hi,” he sniffled, and your heart just broke. Your Rafe had been crying over you.  

You cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry,” you whispered and he shook his head, trying to hold back more tears. 

“It’s fine,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and tired. 

“It’s not. I’m so sorry Rafe,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek and that was all it took, the floodgates opened and he wrapped his arms around you, allowing him to be held by you. You sank down to the steps and let him cry into your neck for a few minutes. You softly brushed through his hair with your fingers and whispered hushed apologies and promises of everything being ok. After a few minutes he was coherent enough to speak. He pulled back, wiping his eyes with his hand as you sat beside him, confused and feeling awful. 

“I got so… jealous for a while, seeing you and Jj at work. I have no idea why. A-and then at the party, I saw you two just laughing a-and ha-having fun,” he hiccuped. “And I realised that I-I’m not like that. I’m not f-funny. I don’t make you laugh. I’m not ve-very fun to b-be around.” 

Your heart broke as you saw the little known insecure side of Rafe Cameron. Obviously, Jj and Rafe were different people, but you enjoyed Rafe’s dad jokes, just as much as you enjoyed Jj’s dry sarcasm. You and Jj had known each other practically since birth, so obviously you were more relaxed around him than with Rafe. Especially with Rafe, at the beginning you were so tense on every date, always worried that you were going to say the wrong thing, since this was your first real relationship. 

“I love being around you,” you cooed, cupping his cheek. “I think you’re funny. You make me laugh all the time.”

He nodded. “B-but I’m not like that, I’m… different. I’m not e-easy to be with, with the d-drinking and the baggage, and the drugs. I know that, a-and I promise I’m trying to change, t-to be better f-for you, it’s just h–hard. A-and I’m so scared that I’m going to lose you i-if I do the wrong thing.” 

“You’re not going to lose me,” you promised. “I swear.”

“But you and Jj-?”

“I was… trying to make you jealous,” you admitted, slightly embarrassed. 

“Oh,” he sighed. “That’s g-good. ‘Cause I really like you. And I want you to be my girlfriend.” 

You smiled. “I’m all yours Rafe, and we’ll work through it all together. I’m here for you, always.”

You took his hand in your and smiled. 

His other hand came up to cup your cheek, and he pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss.

You'd get through it all, together.

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obx masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

the way Pearl instantly slammed down her "check out Marina she's so ***ing AWESOME" line so fast and it's the smoothest verse she spits in the rap battle-

she was SO READY to gush about Marina she was SO THERE for the chance and when it came she didn't even have to THINK

her going from casual barely-worth-my-time roasts and boasts (talking over Frye's turn like she isn't even there) to 'did you just call marina an imaginary friend?? YO ARE YOU CRAZY SHES AMAZING'

and THEN instead of getting defensive or pissed at Frye's 'oh so she's your groupie' jab she just turns hype man literally goes AS IF! LISTEN TO THIS! before bowing out so Marina can freeze Shiver solid by cheerfully taking every passive aggressive compliment from Shiver with a smile, a hearts eyes emoji, and an uno reverse card

Shiver: "Your voice is so haunting (possibly in a bad way) must be nice for your fans (implying it isn't so nice for anyone else)"

Marina, mimicking Shiver's singing: "You're far too kind! (i see you insulting me on the sly) Love your vibe! (that's very cute~) I can learn so much from your style! (i'll give you a taste of your own medicine if you want me to~)"

Shiver: "You remind me of my neighbor's daughter- (grow up) what do they say? Octo see octo do? (stop copying me)"

Marina: "Glad you approve- (im rubber you're glue) your praise has left me moved (not saying what KIND of moved tho). Thanks to your notes (you decide if i mean your feedback or your actual ability to hit musical notes) I'll find my own groove! (you're not actually worth copying for real~)"

Shiver: "Oh, look at the time. Isn't it getting late? (if you keep acting like a kid im going to treat you like one)"

Marina: "Not at all! I could go on like this all night long. (what do you mean? im having so much fun right now!) (oh but is this hard for you? ...do YOU need a break...?)"

and then Pearl barges in with a HOW'S THAT? YOU HAD ENOUGH YET??????

like kudos to Shiver and Frye for laying out some slick jabs, but they were working as two solo acts and didn't have a power couple combo move to counter Pearlina's with m(_ _)m ....they spent the whole time on offensive defense, trying to inflict some deep lyrical cuts while Pearl and Marina were happily tossing out hooks and reeling in fresh lines as they floated high up above on their dumb little rainbow cloud together

legit Pearl's only real reaction to Frye is her going <3 <3 <3 at Marina, and Marina not even treating Shiver as someone she needs to fight with while Shiver repeatedly tries poking at her, which Pearl sees and just effing LOVES ....amazing.......

no matter who you think rapped better, it's pretty clear which pair had the most fun and got the most kicks out of this (the wives)

WHICH IS EVEN FUNNIER BC IT'S HONEST TO COD JUST FRYE BURSTING INTO OFF THE HOOK'S GREEN ROOM AND YELLING AT THEM FOR DARING TO HAVE A CONCERT IN HER TOWN ONLY TO GET SMACKED IN THE FACE BY A RAINBOW LASER BEAM OF GAY MUSIC I LOVE IT XD

[jester-lover]

Reverse of the ask where TWST bois pick the reader up: Reader is surprisingly strong and scoops *them* up.

I think the bigger the dude, the funnier, but Riddle’s reaction would be hilarious to me as well.

Somewhere in the distance, Ashton Vargas just found his new favorite student…

OG Post! Something similar for the Jack fans!

Buff Girlfriend Casually Lifting Them

Featuring! - Riddle, Jack, Malleus, Sebek

CWs/ Fem! Reader, fluff, humor

Riddle

“Unhand me at once!”

Riddle is shocked, appalled, and redder than a strawberry the second he feels you hook your hands under his knees and neck and pick him up like a bride. His hands immediately flail around and land around your shoulders, increasing his embarrassment tenfold.

His demands quiet down once the shock of the situation soaks in. His girlfriend is lifting him up and carrying him around like he weighs nothing. He has always been aware that you’re physically strong, but he didn’t know you were this strong!

Riddle usually won’t like being carried, but on the rare occasion, after a long day of school and his duties, he’ll ask for a piggyback ride back to his room. He’ll use a very standoffish tone while asking, but the way that he presses his head against the back of your shoulder lets you know he likes it.

Jack

He is so flabbergasted. Jack is in shock.

While he is aware that you’re into fitness—maybe the two of you even train together—he never knew you were this swole.

Jack is blushing; if you look close enough, his hands are shaking. He’s just realized he’s found the ideal woman for him—kind, gentle, who could break him in half like a pixie stick…

Bragging isn’t in his principles, but he might have to gloat a little bit with his track teammates when you’re literally running around with him thrown over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I mean, you’re not even exerting that much energy; he’s astounded!

Jack will (very quietly) ask for you to lift him again, just because he can’t believe it and he needs confirmation that he didn’t just make up the situation in his brain.

“Wanna join me for my morning run? It’ll be good cardio.”

Malleus

He’s getting the princess treatment. Very happy to know he’s your favorite lizard.

Since Malleus is very tall and imposing, he’s not used to such blatant displays of affection.

Having a physically stronger girlfriend would be a point of great pride for Malleus, particularly if you were a human, because then your strength would have been something you'd worked hard on. Something you’ve earned.

Being carried around is no problem for him; he may laugh a little at your strange human whimsy, but he happily agrees to being carried about at any time.

By any time, I mean any time. You could pick him up in the middle of a crowded campus hallway, and he’d just wrap his arms around you, place his head on your shoulder, and let you lead the way.

“Child of Man, be sure to drop me off at my alchemy class; perhaps I’ll let you pick me up and take me to Spelldrive Practice afterwords…”

Sebek

“How dare you, human!”

Sebek is appalled at the absolute gall you’ve got to have to do something so unabashedly romantic; don’t you see he’s too repressed for something so affectionate?

His face turns so red, and he tries to shake out of your ridiculously strong vice grip. Once he leaps off of you, get ready for an hour-long lecture. Sebek is shaking in his boots, explaining to you how inappropriate your actions were and how if you wanted his attention, there were better methods.

Midway through, he kind of realizes how hot it was that you were literally able to pick him up and carry him away like it was no problem, which makes Sebek quieter than you’ve ever seen him before, contemplating his words.

He quietly asks you to pick him up again because he wants to test your human endurance! (Ignore the way his eyes lock in on your defined shoulders, okay?)

[bleedingoptimism]

You Are Mine part 3

Second day is an early call too. They are going to shoot a bunch of scenes of them hanging out between shows, loitering on the bus, playing d&d, and going to weird little dinners, all things they actually do when on tour.

It’s even better than the day before, Robin and Steve get along so well with the band it feels like they’ve been friends for years.

Since their conversation won't be distinguishable in the video, Argyle tells them they can talk about whatever and just be a little more emphatic when talking so it reads better on camera.

A direction that apparently they don't need at all because they are both so expressive. And so, they actually get to chat and get to know each other better, laughing and joking all through the day.

Robin, who is a ‘raging lesbian’ (her words) is fucking adorable and bizarre, her energy is contagious and nerve-racking. She’s finishing a career in linguistics, can speak fluently in like six languages, and is apparently a certified genius.

She’s also head over heels obsessed with her girlfriend, and won’t stop talking about her. Vicky is a nurse student, one of Steve’s classmates actually.

‘Steve is a fucking nurse student, why is that hot? Why does he find that so hot? Jesus’.

Steve is much quieter than Robin, especially in comparison. But he’s just, or even funnier. Eddie can see how observant he is, listening attentively and waiting for his moment, because he’s mostly quiet but when he speaks he always says the perfect thing.

It’s like every time he talks Eddie can see him dropping an imaginary mike on the floor. It’s fascinating honestly.

He is incredibly sweet too. Eddie can tell, by how his eyes light up when they are placed in a scene meant to look like they are playing Dungeons and Dragons and he goes on a tangent about the kids he used to babysit when he was younger, that they like to play too, how they drove him insane and how he never lost touch with them after they grew up, how they are all seniors in high school now, how proud he is of them. It’s so fucking cute.

They get a good laugh imagining the kids' reactions to seeing them in the video, Steve laughing so hard he cries when Robin starts imitating the expression of one of them finding out Steve made out with his favorite singer.

And they haven’t even talked about or planned that scene yet, it’s meant to be shot tomorrow, but when he hears them talking about it, it fills Eddie up with antici…pation. He’s dying to kiss Steve and he can’t stop thinking about it.

♫

After the lunch break, they shoot a bunch of scenarios of Eddie sneaking into various places, the bus, a bathroom, a changing room, and so on. Since Robin and Steve are practically the same height is easy to cheat the camera into only showing the back of the shirt that says ‘crew’ making it impossible to know which one of them he’s hooking up with until the end of the video.

He has a lot of fun pushing Steve into different corners of the set, and Steve does too judging from all his cute little laughs between scenes. 

Argyle calls it a day late afternoon, he’s happy and excited, says he has a really good feeling about this,

“Not many scenes left to shoot, mostly you two,” he said pointing at Steve and him, “So we can start mid-morning tomorrow. Get some rest my dudes, love you” and dismisses them.

Eddie gets distracted talking with Argyle so when he gets back to the changing room there’s no one there, except… Steve.

He’s meticulously fixing his hair in the mirror and he’s humming the video’s song. Of course he is, Eddie thinks amused, he’s heard it so many times by now. He leans on the doorway watching Steve’s reflection, waiting for him to notice Eddie, but Steve doesn’t see him right away, and thinking he’s alone, he starts singing.

I don’t want to hide anymore,

I want the whole world to know,

That you are mine,

Are you mine, please be mine, you are mine.

It’s his song, but it sounds nothing like it. The chorus of You Are Mine is loud, angry, desperate but what Steve is singing sounds so soft, so beautiful. It sounds like one of those slow acoustic covers that usually play in coffee stores and it’s funny, Eddie despises those kinds of covers, but Steve’s? 

Steve’s he could listen to all the goddam time.

He’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn't notice when Steve finally sees him, he only looks up when the singing stops.

Steve is smiling at him bashfully through the reflection in the mirror, blushing prettily. 

Smiling back he tells Steve, “I’m surprised you are not sick of it yet,”

He pushes himself off the doorframe and walks inside, hovering over Steve since he’s sitting on the only makeup chair.

Steve shrugs as he stands up and leaves the chair to Eddie, going around the room to grab his things. Eddie can’t help but feel a little disappointed, he kind of wanted Steve to keep him company, but to his surprise, Steve doesn't leave immediately, and it’s his turn to hover slightly close.

“It’s a really catchy song,” Steve says and Eddie snorts because, no, it’s not. But he just smiles again and says,

“Well, thank you.”

“You wrote it?” Steve asks tilting his head to the side and it’s fucking unfair how cute he looks when he does it.

Eddie just nods, because speaking hard when cute boy near. Man he usually has so much more game, what is it about Steve that just makes him feel so giddy?

“It must be about someone very special,” Steve says and there’s a question hidden somewhere in there.

And Eddie wants to tell him ‘I wrote it for you’ because it feels like he did. He wrote the song thinking about a concept, an ideal, someone he would truly want, and he genuinely feels he was conjuring up Steve in his mind. Even before he met him.

But instead, he shakes his head and says, “It’s hypothetical, there- there’s no one.”

And Steve smiles at him, his smile getting bigger slowly and his cheeks redder as he looks down for a second before staring at Eddie through his lashes, “Good” he says in an almost whisper and then leaves the room.

And Eddie thinks maybe all the songs in their next album will be about Steve.

to be continued

part 1: ♫

part 2: ♫

part 3: is this

part 4: ♫ 

☕ cafecito?

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Monkey Crab

Debut: Splatoon 2

Today we are talking about a Splatoon character beloved by all. More popular than the Squid Sisters! More respected than Off the Hook! It’s Monkey Crab! The world-famous Monkey Crab!

Now if you didn’t notice from us using a plushie as the header image, Monkey Crab is not real. Sorry. And I don’t just mean in the sense that most Splatoon characters aren’t real! He’s not real in the world of Splatoon! He’s what we call a cartoon guy, in the business. An in-universe fictional character! 

Monkey Crab first shows up in the stage MakoMart, which is a supermarket, and the devs had to make a bunch of fake food packaging for it! There is a lot of fun stuff like Off the Hook flavored cereal, but our star here got three different types of cereal all for himself! I think this stuff is super cool, since the world of Splatoon is already so cartoony, what would their cartoons look like? Monkey Crab gives a glimpse into that world, and what a world it is!

So Monkey Crab is a cereal mascot! Case closed! He is like a Toucan Sam or a Tony the Tiger, or a Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios! But a fake cereal guy is not bound by the rules of our world, because...

A few months later, Monkey Crab returned to us... in the Amusement Park stage, Wahoo World! Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t see a lot of cereal mascots in amusement parks, in our world. I mean, maybe sometimes they collaborate? But this means either A. Monkey Crab was a cereal mascot who achieved incredible widespread success, or B. Monkey Crab was not originally a cereal mascot, he just happened to have a cereal tie-in. I choose to believe A, because it’s funnier!

Look, here he is in Inkopolis Square, eating Cereal! It’s SO his thing! So if mammals don’t exist in Splatoon, what kind of Milk do they eat with their cereal? Monkey Crab says Don’t Worry About It! :)

Keep in mind we didn’t even have a name for this guy until a Japanese exclusive magazine, where he was revealed to be called Sarukani! Sarukani means monkey crab. It definitely is a crab, and his face sort of is monkey-ish! (Though, monkeys are extinct, right?) Thanks to the power of Japanese Google, I managed to find a picture, with his official art and everything! So I did my best to translate it, even though other people probably have before:

He greets you with an 100% smile, the most popular cereal mascot at MakoMart! His smile is so wonderful, he's been showing up lately on commercials on the giant monitor in Inkopolis Square. (He's so popular that he's even being used on skateboard designs!)

So yeah! That pretty much confirms he’s a cereal character first and formost! And his smile! It’s the secret to his success, and you have to admit it’s a pretty great smile. What about the skateboards? Uh... we’ll get to that!

Now there’s actually a Japanese folktale about a monkey and a crab, which I am reading about on Wikipedia just now. It’s about a monkey who murders a crab with persimmons. And so much more! But none of that is important right now. The point is it’s usually known as Sarukani Gassen, or Monkey-Crab Battle, which might be where the name Monkey Crab comes from? Maybe? I dunno? It’s the sort of thing I’d expect from Splatoon, but I’m not sure how it relates to cereal!

Of course, I’m only really writing this post because of Splatoon 3, which introduced customizable lockers, and lots of Random Junk to customize those lockers with! And it just so happens a lot of that junk features Monkey Crab! I have a dedicated Monkey Crab shelf in my locker, and you should too!

There’s the monkey-crab cushion from the top of this post, but how about a monkey-crab mug! Would you drink hot beverages from this? Would you drink cold beverages from this? Look at that face. He is so happy to be providing a container for liquids.

And the aforementioned monkey-crab skateboard! Of course cereal mascots are no strangers to skateboarding in real life. Do you think Monkey Crab has a radical commerical encouraging Inklings to eat a balanced breakfast and do Extreme Sports? Because I hope so!

All three cereal boxes are available to purchase too! It’s interesting how they get progressively more expensive. Is coconut cereal rarer? Is someone scalping cereal? That they sell in the supermarket?

Are you in need of a laugh? Monkey Crab is sure to make you giggle and chuckle and chortle with his comedy comic! I’m laughing out loud just looking at this cover! I’m crying with laughter! I just love Monkey Crab so much!

But of course, this has all been a lead-up to the peak of Monkey Crab’s career, my personal favorite item in his collection...

Monkey Crab in Silly Land!

Isn’t it wonderful? Just the title alone inspires such joyous whimsy! A whole Silly Land, for you to explore with your best friend Monkey Crab! Not only is it great they gave this cereal mascot an entire Switch game, but this officially makes Monkey Crab an in-universe scrimblo! Congratulations, Monkey Crab! If anyone deserves it, it’s you!

That’s all for today fellow Monkey Crab enthusiasts, but keep an eye out for our next cool post, where we write about Mister Shrug and Missus Shrug, and their spicy secrets! We’ll finally get to the bottom of... hm? Hm. I’m being told that I’m not allowed to write a post on Mister and Missus Shrug. Sorry everyone.

[merakiui]

we all know floyd is the impulsive one but it's so much funnier to imagine that at any point jade will just throw a punch and kick off another Sibling Fight that destroys half the room

And that punch hurts, too. T_T Floyd could be minding his business and next thing he knows he's sprawled out on the floor because Jade threw the meanest left hook. Jade doesn't yell as much as he did when they were elvers, which makes it all the more terrifying because now he speaks so calmly: "Floyd, did you misplace my terrarium supplies again?" And Floyd just knows he's done for because he threw all of them out under the assumption it was junk. And Jade is aware of this, but he wants to hear the admission from Floyd. But Floyd is so annoyingly stubborn and he won't fess up no matter what. In other words, it was nice knowing you, Floyd. ^^;;;

It's not even a magic fight. They get so physical and violent, relying on brute strength. At some point it becomes less of a fight to resolve an argument/misunderstanding and more of a fight for dominance, a fight to prove that the last one standing is in the right even if he isn't. They're biting and kicking and punching and bickering. Whether in human or mer form, it's a frightening display of muscle. Usually they can break the fight themselves once they're both properly roughed up, but there are times when they get so blinded by battle that they have to be separated. They don't fight nearly as often now as they did when they were little, but when they do it's a reminder that the both of them are fierce predators who, despite looking human, are strong, vicious mer eels at the end of the day and you stand no chance against them.

You're usually the one who helps convince them to apologize to one another after everything has settled and they're both sitting bandaged and bruised in the infirmary, divided by a curtain. They're both childishly stubborn, but they'll listen to you. You are their biggest weakness. And all it takes is some soft persuasion and a kiss on the cheek from you, and they begrudgingly agree to talk it out and apologize. After all, they don't want to scare you away. And even if they did, you'd learn to love them all over again. You wouldn't have a choice. <3

[blacklegsanjiii]

Okay listen deaged Warlord!Sanji was fun but Warlord!Sanji having to deal with deaged Warlords would be funnier, especially if it's that devil fruit from Z. Like Z doesn't happen she's just running around and gets into a tiff with the warlords and de ages the four that aren't part of the Strawhats for whatever reason.

Boa is seven, Mihawk is nine, Crocodile is 34, and Doffy is seventeen. They make the decision to call their child and the crew and meet up with them because if Boa and Mihawk get hit one more time they will cease to exist. Also she's gone and the help to track her down would be nice.

So the Strawhats pull up to wherever they agree to meet up and Jinbei, Luffy, and Sanji fucking lose it. Robin is giggling as well as Zoro and Nami try to gather what happened and take these children seriously. Mihawk has Yoru on his shoulder because suddenly he's barely four feet tall and he didn't get Yoru until he was like fifteen and significantly taller and Boa is still swooning for Luffy but it's weirder now because Luffy is nineteen and she's a child. Luffy is laughing because Doflamingo is suddenly younger than him.

So they agree to help and travel together. They get the smallest warlords on the Sunny and deal with things as they go. For example Mihawk and Boa keep most of their habits, like wine and training except they're not 45 or 31 anymore, he's nine and she's seven and they're significantly smaller than before and Sanji is like 'you can have a glass of wine with me but just one.' then laughs his ass off because they're pretty drunk and not used to being like that after a singular glass of wine.

Mihawk probably got Yoru in his teens and is finding it difficult to reorient with a body smaller than his sword and Zoro laughs so Mihawk convinces him to lend him a sword. Minihawk beats the shit out of Zoro still and the crew laughs at him. He also hates that Luffy is referring to him as 'Minihawk' and he's seriously debating beheading his child's partner. Boa is using this to her full advantage and still trying to flirt with Luffy. Doffy uses it and says he will forever going forward. Crocodile sighs long and suffering which Nami nods with.

Chopper is running all sorts of tests and the three men are like 'wow I don't hurt as bad as before' because of just everything they've been through ever. Minihawk is staring at his hands like 'wow my fingers aren't near as fucked as they could have been at this age' and Crocodile is like 'wow, the necessity of having constant amputee care is really a necessity huh?, and Doffy is like 'I should be doing so much cocaine right now to get my heart ready for killing my brother' which ruins the whole vibe of the infirmary at that moment. Boa passes with flying colors because she was a princess when she was seven.

Sanji still calls them by their parental monikers and yeah it's kind of weird for him to be going 'mom, stop climbing my boyfriend, it's weird' 'papa, please stop kicking Zoro's ass, he keeps stealing booze and we will run out before next port if this keeps up' 'dad please stop stringing my boyfriend up when he kisses my cheek, i am begging'. Jinbei is also somehow roped into little warlord duty because they're his coparents. He is definitely claiming to be too old to be doing such but the looks he gets from both Crocodile and Sanji put that argument to rest.

When they are restored to their proper ages the groans of pain and discomfort from all of them is horrific almost. Doffy pops all of his joints and whines about the withdrawal. Boa checks to make sure her devil fruit still works and nods approvingly when it does. Crocodile keeps rubbing his arm above the hook and mumbling about the poison inside it. Mihawk keeps cracking and popping his knuckles and hands and tells Zoro to expect this if he gets as old as he is. Zoro immediately charges and gets his ass kicked again.

[ticklishraspberries]

Ren Faire (Eddie/Steve)

Summary: Steve, Eddie, and Robin go to a Renaissance Fair and see some interesting demonstrations. (This fic is for my lovely friend @gigglyrambles!! I literally just pulled this whole plot out of my ass and wrote it in one sitting, so I really hope you like it, LOL. Also, shoutout to @wordstrings because I know she has written something similar for Our Flag Means Death, I hope you don't mind me taking inspiration!!)

Steve isn’t sure how he ended up being dragged along to a Renaissance Fair with none other than Robin and Eddie, but he found it hard to say no to either of their puppy dog eyes and incessant begging.

His outfit is simple, consisting of a white, long-sleeved shirt with laces at the neckline, tight brown pants, and brown boots. He feels only a little bit ridiculous, but after seeing what his friends are wearing, he supposes he isn’t the weirdest looking one.

Eddie is decked out in black, an intricately detailed top with ruffles and buttons. A fake sword sits in a holder on his waist. Robin has gone for a more masculine look, a cloak over her shoulders and a bow and arrow in her hand.

“Screw historical accuracy,” she’d said.

“The fact that you’re a girl isn’t the problem, it’s that you couldn’t hit a moving target with an arrow to save your life,” Eddie had teased, and Robin had elbowed him in the ribs, making Steve laugh.

Now that they’ve arrived, Steve has relaxed a bit. He used to feel out of place whenever he attended events that he wouldn’t have been caught dead at in high school. Corroded Coffin concerts, DnD campaigns, and that one time he drove Eddie and Robin to the nearest gay bar in Indiana. It had definitely been more awkward sober, and before he realized that he’s bisexual, and could have totally had more fun if he’d been aware of and okay with that information at the time.

He’s sort of glad he wasn’t, though, because kissing Eddie Munson during a childish game of truth or dare was a much funnier way to have your queer awakening, and dating Eddie Munson is way more fun than hooking up with random guys in a bar.

“They have really good beer here,” Eddie comments, to which Steve holds up his car keys and jingles them. No medieval mead is going to keep him from being the designated driver.

“I can drive us home,” Robin says, absolutely joking, but Steve still gives her a horrified look and makes a show of sliding his keys back into his pocket, patting the denim for safe keeping. She sticks her tongue out at him, and he flicks her cheek.

Eddie does end up getting some beer, and Steve allows himself a few sips. They’ll be here for at least a few hours, he’ll surely sober up by then. He also samples the gigantic turkey leg that Eddie gets, and Robin wrinkles her nose in disgust at the messy nature of the food.

As they walk around, Steve finds himself getting into the spirit more than he had expected. They eat, watch musical performances, and shop at the little stalls set up by various vendors. Eddie buys a few rings for himself, and buys a handmade mug for Uncle Wayne. Robin indulges in candles and soaps, and even dares to see a fortune teller.

“She said that I’ll meet my future husband soon,” she says, giggling. “Clearly she’s a fraud, or she’d know I’m not interested.”

When Robin runs off to find a bathroom, somehow, Eddie and Steve end up standing around a demonstration about medieval punishments and torture, which Steve expects to be gruesome, and quickly finds he would rather hear gritty, gorey details than stand her and watch this happen.

A pretty girl, probably around their age, is locked into a pair of wooden stocks, and—

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Steve mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Eddie looks absolutely delighted as he leans in close. “What’s wrong, Stevie? The demonstration isn’t bothering you, is it?” he asks. His cheeks are flushed, too. A few months ago, Eddie would probably be the one stuttering and staring at the ground right now, but ever since he introduced this little world to Steve, he’s gained a confidence about it that only comes out when he gets to tease Steve into oblivion.

“Shut up.”

“You shut up, I’m trying to watch. Maybe I can get some pointers from these guys.”

‘These guys’ refers to the two men who have started tickling the girl’s trapped feet, and frantic giggles fill the air and make Steve’s stomach flip.

“Oh, she’s handling this better than you would,” Eddie continues to tease. “I’d already be called every insult under the sun if you couldn’t kick me instead.”

“I will kick you right now,” Steve threatens. It’s a complete lie. He’s frozen to the spot on the grass, torn between watching and focusing on the grass. Everyone else in the crowd is behaving like this is so normal, no big deal, just a silly show.

One of the men has moved behind the girl to tickle her ribs, her arms secured above her head. Steve crosses his arms over his chest, subconsciously protecting his own sensitive spots, like just watching her could tickle him, too.

“You love that spot,” Eddie coos. “You make the cutest sounds when I tickle you there.”

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you,” Steve grits out.

“Sure you will, sweetheart. Can it wait ‘til after I’ve made you cry real pretty for me?”

Just then, Robin appears at his side. “This looks like my worst nightmare,” she says. “I hope this girl is getting paid well.”

Steve makes a noise of agreement, but can’t bring himself to look over. Eddie Munson is going to be the fucking death of him. Thankfully, Robin is immediately bored of the display and drags them off to explore. Eddie subtly gives Steve’s side a quick pinch as he walks past him, and Steve suddenly can’t wait to go home.

***

“You are a fucking menace,” Steve accuses the moment they’ve made it through the door.

His parents aren’t home, Robin was dropped off back at her house, and now, Steve is alone with Eddie for the first time all day, and he refuses to voice how excited he is for whatever Eddie’s got planned.

But Eddie just grins, tugging off the more elaborate pieces of his costume, leaving himself in socks, boxers, and a white t-shirt. He makes his way to the kitchen, comes back with two cans of beer, sits on the couch like he isn’t ignoring the clear tension in the room.

Steve gapes at him for a minute before joining him on the couch, kicking off his boots and taking a beer as well. Maybe Eddie’s changed his mind…Maybe he just isn’t the mood, and Steve isn’t going to pressure him into anything.

But…Well, he has a sneaking suspicion that isn’t the case at all.

“If you’re waiting for me to ask, it’s not gonna happen,” he says.

“Ask for what?” Eddie tilts his head curiously, but there’s a glint in his eye that proves Steve’s theory.

“Nothing,” Steve replies, playing along. “All that talk back there just made me think you had a plan for when we got home. But if you’re not interested, that’s fine too.”

“Did you want me to have a plan?”

Steve huffs. “Maybe. But if you don’t, then let’s forget about it.”

“Oh, c’mon baby,” Eddie says, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders and pulling him close. “All you’ve gotta do is ask if you want it so bad.”

His cheeks burn. Stubborn as ever, he shakes his head.

Eddie sighs with exaggerated disappointment. “If you insist. I guess I’ll just keep my hands to myself tonight…”

“Good,” Steve says, and turns the television on.

It takes two beers and a stupid scene in a film to break him. It’s a quick, barely there tickle, but the character’s laugh makes Steve perk up like a dog hearing a doorbell ring.

“Fine,” he says.

“What’s fine?” Eddie asks.

“Just fucking tickle me, you dick.”

Eddie grins and wastes no time, lunging across the couch and pinning Steve to the cushions.

“I knew you’d crack eventually, sweetheart,” he teases. “Sorry we don’t have quite the same set up, but I’ll hold you down real nice, okay?”

Steve is already grinning. He can’t help it, he’s so lovestruck by his boyfriend and desperate to laugh his head off. And laugh he does when Eddie goes straight for his ribs, scratching at the dips between each little bone.

“There’s that pretty sound,” he says, pressing a kiss to Steve’s jaw that is both sweet and ticklish under the current circumstance.

The stupid shirt with the laces is pulled over his head and discarded on the floor, and Eddie pins Steve’s wrists and tells him to stay still before exploring each ticklish spot on his torso, making him shriek and cackle and snort like a fool.

He doesn’t stay still for very long, arms shooting down to his sides when Eddie attacks his belly with blunt fingernails, and Eddie scolds him but doesn’t stop.

As he squirms on the couch, giggling like mad, he wonders if they sell some of those bondage contraptions there. He thinks that they should go back to the Ren Faire sometime. 

[magicpiano]

DCMK/Ace Attorney crossover has so much comedic potential.

After Kaito graduates high school, he becomes a professional magician and travels the world preforming. (Funnily enough, KID has also started doing more international heists. Weird coincidence, right?)

Anyway, Kaito goes to Japanifornia for a few shows.

Trucy is of course a huge fan of both KID and Kaito Kuroba and wants to go to his shows which is how they get involved in the case.

Someone dies at KID's heist and poor Kaito (who definitely only came to watch because he is such a huge KID fan! Honest!) is accused of the murder. Trucy insists they defend her idol.

The WAA has people with magic truth finding powers, but they never think to ask Kaito if he is KID, only if he committed the murder, and of course he didn't, so they agree to defend him.

(I am not sure if it is funnier if they never figure out Kaito is KID or they realize it but recognize it has nothing to do with the case and they can't prove it, so whatever. But if they figure it out Trucy says something like, "magicians keep each other's secrets!" then demands Kaito does a show with her.)

Kaito at least partly goes with Phoenix as a defense attorney because he is famous for getting Mask☆DeMasque off the hook.

Also Ron DeLite is a huge KID fan. So is Maya.

Conan is there (because of reasons? Still investing the Black Organization? Idk) and, of course, he came to the KID heist too and, of course, got involved in the murder.

Conan is so upset that the legal system in this country went ahead with a trial before he was even allowed to investigate. He sneaks in of course which is how Phoenix meets him during the investigation phase.

Upon asking something as simple as Conan's name Phoenix is faced with a full five Psyche-Locks. Logically, he is sure this kid must have something to do with the crime, right? Too suspicious.

Poor Detective Gumshoe keeps messing up and Conan is ready to lose it. He can't believe Gumshoe is allowed to call himself a detective and he isn't even allowed onto the crime scene.

I struggled to decide which prosecutor would be best for this case, but I think Klavier is the funniest possible option. He knows a lot about show business and can complain about KID stealing his spot light lately.

(After the trial, Klavier tries to get Kaito to be part of one of his shows because we already know he likes magicians at his concerts. I think Kaito might even be down for it.)

Kaito 100% believes Maya when she says that she can summon spirits of the dead. Like, yeah, sure, he has seen weirder shit. He is looking for weirder shit.

If this is post Duel Destinies I can see them being very uncomfortable with Kaito's disguise abilities.

Kaito is of course found not guilty of the murder. Maybe he is even found not guilty of being KID too, like Ron DeLite. (Hakuba just loses it when he hears this)

They never did find out what was up with Conan's Psyche-Locks.

[gabessquishytum]

Near my work there's a ballet conservatory in the same building as Hockey Supplies Shop and all Im sayin is. Au material.

A much Funnier au also inspired by life is a taco bell employee and a weed shop employee whose buildings share a parking lot but that doesn't read as dreamling as the other one imo lol.

I love these kinds of fics!!! I've seen figure skater + ice hockey player au but never ballet + hockey au...... that's such a concept. I also just thought about a ballet + boxer au? There's some kind of incident that means the local ballet studio and boxing gym end up sharing a space in the community for a while, which of course leads to all kinds of issues and shenanigans.

Ballet dancer Hob turned his life around when he was in juvie and they had this one barre class and he got hooked. Turns out it's a lot easier for a male dancer to come into the business late and he's managed to make a career from it.

Boxer Dream got into the sport because his little brother wanted classes and he was forced to join in. Turns out he was a natural and started winning county and national fights in the flyweight class.

Neither of them are happy to be sharing a space. The temporary boxing ring takes up half the space that Hob wants to practice in, plus he's still supposed to be teaching the kids fun class in here! Dream is equally miffed that there isn't enough room, and he has to listen to Hob’s music all the damned time while he's trying to spar. Hob is between companies at the moment so he's stressed about where he'll be working next; Dream is torn between staying as an amateur boxer or going pro. They're both stressed and only too happy to take it out on each other...

Trouble is they're also sharing a locker room, and neither of them can stop staring at each other. The solution? Fuck it all out... and it works perfectly well! They even end up fucking inside the boxing ring, and it's more than worth it even if they have to disinfect the entire place afterwards. Hob will be looking at the hand shaped bruises on his waist for a long time.

Good thing neither of them if catching feelings, though. Right? Right?????

[imagionationstation]

*Slams open the door to your inbox very, very loudly*

I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA FOR AN AU

But this one is a little bit deranged.

AU where only Donatello and Karai are raised by Splinter and the rest (Leonardo, Raphael and Michelangelo) were raised by the Shredder. (Or vice versa idk which would be funnier)

It's stupid, I KNOW— but wdnsixjsks—

Just imagine the lone turtle being raised by the opposite side of the other three, accompanied with just as fierce + overprotective older sister who'd drop kick anyone who ever attempt to claim the title as 'Donatello's older sibling'.

Donnie'd be so confused to suddenly have a group of the same species as him suddenly thrusted into his life after spending years of beliving he's the only one— and oh look they're now claiming him to be their brother, how neat.

Karai is NOT happy because that's HER little brother and they have to pry him out of her cold, dead hands.

Leo and Raph would be, "You're our master's daughter and that's OUR little brother", to which Karai would be, ">:0".

Cue to Mikey and Donnie arguing who is older.

I'm not sure about you, but I am also a sucker for (over)protective Mikey. It's a neat concept, one that hasn't been explored much by the fandom— but arhwidnsidnsi.

I just love the purple genius, okay?

This AU is purely crack and self-indulgent at this point hahah.

-Ellestrade

Donnie didn’t consider himself to be a bad son, per say.

Sensei always had a list of rules to keep him safe. Never go down to the ground floor unless the dojo was closed for the day. Never open the curtains because he might be glimpsed. Never go out into the yard unless he got permission or had one of them with him.

And never, under any circumstances, was he to enter New York City.

Sensei was always very careful when it came to his safety. It’s the whole reason that he found a place outside the city for him to grow up, miles away from people, but close enough to the city that Miwa could visit to terrorize socialize whenever she feels cooped up.

Donnie’s never had that luxury, but now he was fifteen.

Fifteen was practically driving age. Fifteen is old enough to be in a high school and get invited to parties that sounded unsafe and rent adult movies behind parents backs and get to buy things at stores or check out books at the library!

He’s definitely responsible enough to borrow some books on his own.

Fifteen is also the perfect age for sneaking out and breaking rules.

It’s not really his fault. It’s the hormone and teenage ritual stuff. He couldn’t help it, probably. That’s what Miwa always says. Sensei buys it sometimes. He goes easy on her. So when Donnie wakes up to a carpeted floor and a splitting migraine, he knows he’s been caught and he’ll need every reasonable excuse that he can get his hands on.

It’s his birthday, anyway. Sensei can’t be too mad.

There are muffled voices around him as he lifts his head, immediately regretting it when pain spikes from his skull and scatters across his forehead. He clutches at his skull, groaning miserably. He’s never had an all-nighter migraine this intense before.

He supposes that this is what Miwa would call a personal problem as remains on the ground, forcing his eyes open to get a read on the situation. He expects to see his father hovering as Miwa goads him into a punishment because the consequences of his actions was never enough for her.

Somehow, his father usually ends up letting him off the hook instead. A perk of being an extinct species that can never see the light of day, he supposes, is endless sympathy points.

Donnie’s greeted with three shells, four blinding overhead lights, five individual weapons, and six eyes, all balanced out by a truckload of confusion. He stares, blinking sluggishly, as one of the turtles announces, “Well, he’s not dead.”

And just like that, this has officially slotted itself to be the weirdest dream Donnie has ever had.

DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT I HAD TOO-

So anyway, feel free to assume that he’s in pain and kidnapped for any number of reasons because I have about twelve different ideas and they are all equal GREAT for the crack AU atmosphere that is in development in my brain.

I’m just imaging a backstory where Shredder fought the Kraang (cause he was hangry or something, who knows) and the turtles (sitting abandoned in the alley, maybe?) are corrupt with mutagen.

Absolutely dumbfounded but not stupid enough to leave the little freaks of nature behind, he (still human) snatches three of them, accidentally leaving one behind.

Hours/days later, Toddler Miwa hear Donnie crying, barely alive and all alone. Obviously, dad and daughter care for him.

Shredder and Yoshi are still human, but neither is on guard for the other. They both think the other remains in Japan.

Their sons don’t grow up hating each other’s guts. They are both trying to leave their past behind. Yoshi is raising his family. Shredder is growing his empire.

So Donnie didn’t grow up knowing he had other brothers because no one knew they existed. Ergo, I imagine Donnie would be confused at first, but after fifteen years thinking that he’s alone in the universe, he’s eager to learn everything about these three fellow turtle mutants in ninja gear. He’s a bit perturbed about the fact that they keep making excuses to keep him from leaving, but he’s not to concerned about it. He has brothers! How neat is that?

And since it’s a crack AU, it would be absolutely hilarious if Donnie seems like this naive, learned soul, who cannot social in the slightest- but the second that the need calls for it, he knows how to use several different type of weapons and can take all the brother down single-handedly. He had fifteen years of no brotherly distractions and a sister who takes training very seriously. Why wouldn’t he?

It’s why he’s not concerned with technically being held hostage. He’s reasonably certain that he can take them. And he proves it when Karai finds him and tries to take him home, only for the brothers attempt to stop him from leaving.

Of course, he always feels bad about his supremely awesome and instinctive skills. He prefers his studies.

No, but your “pry him out of her cold, dead hands” comment made me think that she’d need a reason to feel threatened. If they bond before she finds him, Donnie will begin looking at his older brothers (yes, even Mikey, who adores being able to feel in charge of someone) like, well, eldest brothers, and Karai will sense the change.

And, obvs, be completely and utterly ticked off by it.

Donnie’s spent his entire life admiring her and everything that she does- how DARE she have to share his attention with these three random strangers that literally kidnapped him?!

And his older brothers will all immediately decide that this lost child is theirs’ for one reason or another. And obviously, the safest thing to do when you find a stray mutant like you is to take it home and give it care. Heck, if it turns out to be your brother, even better!

HAPPY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY! YOU BELONG TO A GROUP OF NINJA TURTLES NOW, ADOPTED LIKE A LOST CAT! CONGRATS!

[ducktracy]

How would you rank the entries in the Hunting Trilogy (aka Rabbit Season, Duck Season) from favorite to least favorite?

ALRIGHT, i just rewatched the entire trilogy to properly answer this! so, prepare for rambling HAHA. but as it stands now, i would personally rank them:

Rabbit Seasoning

Rabbit Fire

Duck, Rabbit, Duck!

BUT. if i were ranking on which i think are the BEST in a more objective standpoint? then:

Rabbit Seasoning

Duck, Rabbit, Duck!

Rabbit Fire

i've expressed this grievance before, but i, like probably most other people, grew up when the landscape surrounding LT was Chuck Jones Chuck Jones Chuck Jones. the hunting trilogy is the main association of the series to many. for good reason! all of the shorts are fantastic. it's amazing that Chuck was able to keep such a streak going as long as he did with the trilogy--especially since all 3 shorts are so reliant on being extensions of each other and utilizing the same formula. that novelty can get old REALLY fast (exhibit A, at least in my personal opinion: the Pepe cartoons), so it's sort of amazing that all three are as sharp and have defining characteristics against one another

however, i've definitely become victim to the Jones saturation of the 90s-00s, and the hunting trilogy has been one of the biggest offenders. i don't go out of my way to watch the trilogy often for this reason, and i haven't entirely been able to shake myself OF that oversaturation like i have with other Jones shorts of the era. which stinks! i'm very frustrated by this

NEVERTHELESS! Rabbit Seasoning is tops for me and is probably my favorite Bugs and Daffy period, next to Beanstalk Bunny. i think it has the greatest balance of what makes the hunting trilogy so successful and memorable. snappy wordplay that happily indulges in Mike Maltese's writing credit--"STILL LURKING ABOUT" i think pops into my head the most. really nice balance of funny and REVEALING facial expressions, Daffy getting his beak blown off unfortunately gets old for me very quickly but i feel this short is more reliant on finding other avenues that reach a similar goal in comedy. the lipsmack Daffy does to the camera after seeing Elmer fall for Bugs made me laugh really really hard the first time i gave this one a chance again in recent years

likewise, Bugs' introduction in that one is something i really appreciate. i'm not sure how purposeful this was (but i certainly feel it had to be), but Bugs humoring Elmer at the very beginning is a direct mirror to his introduction and subsequent banter in A Wild Hare. Carl Stalling even uses the same music cue, which is an original music cue!! i feel that's not only an endearing callback to the roots of both characters, but likewise establishes just how much progress has been made since then AND seems to even be poking fun at the original scene itself.

i also think that the drawings are sharpest in it, they feel the most solid and confident and tight. Duck, Rabbit, Duck is visually solid for the most part, but i think can get a bit melty in some spots--and i know i may be in the minority for thinking this, but there are some frames in Rabbit Fire that are just plain ugly to me i'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

BUT, moving on a bit. i personally enjoy and get more out of Rabbit Fire, but i think Duck, Rabbit, Duck! is the funnier cartoon and more structurally sound. Fire has some understandable growing pains, including some odd jump cuts and a lack of hook-ups, whereas DRD has the benefit of getting the formula down. with that said, i feel DRD is much more dependent on formula, and i tend to enjoy cartoons that are a little more freeform--all of the hunting trilogy shorts are heavily character based, but i really enjoy the prevalence of character acting in Fire.

copy and pasting something i literally just sent to someone else: i was just thinking about the disguise bit in Rabbit Fire, Mel doing the characters imitating each other is so crazy good, but i also like how with Daffy's impression of Bugs, you still feel some of those Daffy-isms present. he doesn't entirely commit to the bit as faithfully as Bugs in WHAT he actually says. and i think that's an amazing attention to detail in character acting; Daffy's impulses just can't help but bleed through everything he does

i feel DRD doesn't have that same sort of intimacy? if that makes sense? but, at the same time, it doesn't need to--Fire was the first formal Bugs and Daffy outing, so it makes sense for there to be a heavier presence on figuring out how they play against each other vs DRD being the final effort in the trilogy, all the fat has been cut, now it's just time for gags gags gags. DRD likewise has the benefit of really snappy, fetching dialogue ("I'M A FIDDLER CRAB")... but Fire appeals to my sensibilities more. i also like that it's the short that gives Bugs the most to do--he still has a little bit of his scrappiness, and that's always always always a point of favorability to me.

i still feel like i have so much more to say on this and yet i also can't think of much else to say! i feel i have more to justify but don't know what that is LOL. BUT YEAH, Rabbit Seasoning indisputably takes the cake for me. it's easily the short of the trilogy i revisit most and is actually one i feel an active desire to watch every now and then. i think it has the best balance of everything and is egalitarian in where it pulls its comedy from--it's not all from the faces, not all from the acting, not all from the situation, there's a really solid balance of all

and the "wait til you get home" bit is just one of my favorite endings to a Chuck Jones short period. flawless execution. i deeply love Carl Stalling's gently climactic crescendo in the music and the abstraction of the gunfire caricatured with color cards through the house's windows.

that, and this just cracks me up

[hello-nichya-here]

Concerning Friends: With Chandler being your favourite, could you explain what draws you to him? What you find interesting in his character, in his development? Love hearing your takes on..well, literally everything 🤍

Gladly!

Chandler Bing Appreciation

Humor

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of Chandler is "He's the funniest of the cast", and considering the competition he had, that's a pretty big accomplishment. I'm a sucker for sarcastic jokes, and Chandler was the king of it. I always liked how he could think of hilarious replies to literally everything everyone said so fast, and his way of delivering the jokes was so specific to him that even the show itself poked fun at it.

And I loved how, just like he was quick to make jokes at everyone else's expense, he also did it to himself, which showed both that he could take a joke AND that he was very insecure. To quote one of my favorite exchanges between him and Rachel (that I totally don't relate to on a spiritual level)

R: You should never be allowed to talk to people! C: I'm sure you're right, but why?!

Him being Joey's best friend also created a lot of naturally funny moments because Joey was way more confident, and far dumber, than Chandler, so one of them is always being the butt of a joke just by being next to the other.

I promise this whole thing won't be just quotes, but nothing better exemplifies what I mean quite like this bit of dialogue when they're discussing possibly having a threesome with a girl, and flipping a coin to decide on which end each will be:

J: What's heads and what's tails? C: If you don't know that, then I don't wanna do this with you.

But my absolute favorite thing about the jokes written for Chandler was that they often poked fun at the show itself, like him responding to Monica giving him a key to her appartment with "Door hasn't been locked in five years, but okay", or making fun of typical Ross and Rachel drama, or just point out how completely absurd some of the situations they got into was, like when Ross was murdering everyone's ears while playing bagpipes for Chandler and Monica's wedding.

M: Why is your family scottish? C: Why is your family Ross?

The guy also looked funny. I've seen one of the directors say Matthew was always aware of the camera, and it shows, because he is always doing something, even in the background, mainly funny faces to react to what the other five are doing. And that led to lots of improv on his part, and you can actually see some of the other actors breaking character in the background because they couldn't hold back the laughter.

His physical comedy was great, and nothing puts a smile on my face quite like seeing Chandler make a joke just a little bity funnier by jumping up when reacting to stuff, or doing a little dance out of the blue - or even better, reacting to stuff that was not supposed to happen. One of my favorite exemples of it in the whole show is him and Rachel (a criminally underused comedic duo of the show) in her office, with him trying to convince her to uncuff him after he hooked up with her boss, and Matthew's face just breaks me every single time I see it.

Combine his habit of playing off of EVERYTHING with the improvs both from him and co-stars, and you have little moments like this one in which Ross gets a call from his second (ex) wife and Matthew just reacts to David's improv on instinct, then doesn't know what to do next:

Seriously: could he be more iconic?

Trauma, Insecurities & Awkwardness

For all of his hilarity, Chandler also had quite a lot of emotional baggage that he often either refused to deal with or didn't know how to deal with.

His parents were a disaster, with the dad cheating, the mom hooking up with one of his friends when he was already very uncomfortable with how much he (and everyone) knew about her sex-life and sexual fantasies - to the point that Chandler legitimately thought it was normal for kids to have seen orgies - and, more importantly, he was told about ALL the drama of their messy divorce, and even at his wedding they were at each other's throats.

He went through a lot as a child and naturally that affected how he acted as an adult, making him a messy, flawed, sympathetic character. It was easy not to judge him too much for things like his deeply dysfunctional on-again off-again relationship with Janice, or the moments of immaturity/anxiety in his romance with Monica - especially because he did make progress and grew a lot.

But the dude was also a mess in other (deeply relatable) ways. He flew to Yemen to avoid telling his ex he didn't want to get back together. He lied to said ex about still having feelings for her/wanting to have an affair so she wouldn't show up at his wedding/move to the house next to his. He lied about not being able to come home and was actually gonna let Joey think Monica was cheating, just to not have to tell his best friend that he wanted to spend the night with his wife instead of hanging out. This man let a co-worker call him by the wrong name for months, got in the way of him getting a promotion, then helped the dude trash his office - all to avoid going through the awkwardness of correcting him.

There's a reason he said stuff like "What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?"

A Caring Friend

Even though Chandler didn't think very highly of himself, another thing that made him a personal favorite for me is that he clearly had a very kind, loving side.

He invited both of his parents to his wedding even after all the shit they pulled. His goodbye to Rachel at the end of the show broke my heart in a million little pieces because he was just so sweet to her. He and Joey were so close they were practically a couple, and when he fell for his girlfriend and kissed her, he not only confessed, he was willing to not go after her because he wanted to prove to Joey he'd never betray him again. There's also a "Joey room" in the house he and Monica bought at the end of the show.

Even though his romance with Janice was a mess, he was a really good boyfriend to her when she was leaving her husband for him - and then he stepped aside when Janice realized she still had feelings for the guy, so her kid would not grow up with two dysfunctional parents like he did.

Those moments made the character feel far more real and, once again, made it a lot easier for me to still feel a lot of sympathy for him even when he was in the wrong.

But come on. If we're REALLY gonna talk about Chandler's sweet, caring, understanding, mature side, we gotta talk about the person that brought it out the most.

Chandler & Monica

Mondler, Mondler, Mondler. The best couple on the show without a shadow of a doubt, and possibly one of the best sitcom couples in history. And it was the dynamic that allowed Chandler to develop as a character and let the qualities he already had be front and center in many episodes.

Before the writers even considered pairing them up, we already Chandler offer to be her boyfriend/husband and father of her kids later in life if she doesn't find someone. Monica is offended the first time because why wouldn't she have found someone by then, and in the second time she just laughs because, come on, they're friends, JUST friends????? It'd neeeeever happen.

Both are played for laughs (though Monica does let him try to win her over the second time), but they already highlight some very important things:

1 - Chandler cares so much about Monica that just saying "I'm sure you'll find someone eventually" isn't enough. He has to assure her that even if nothing goes according to plan, she'll still have someone to grow old with.

2 - As early as season one, Chandler already liked and trusted Monica enough that he was not at all hesitant to suggest "Hey, maybe you and I could get together in the future and even have kids." I remind you that at that point in the story Chandler had never so much as let one of his girlfriends have a drawer with their things in his home due to his fear of commitment, and he had assumed EVERY COUPLE broke up after their first fight because pretty much none of his previous relationships survived it (except Janice, but that was more of a "They DID break up, they just got back together later" kind of deal).

And that last point is really made it so easy for audiences to get attached to their romance - which was originally only going to last a couple of episodes! They were already super comfortable with each other and were clearly compatible, which allowed their relationship to progress without the need for the neverending drama, Ross and Rachel style.

Monica was neurotic, had a serious case of OCD, could be very bossy, often needed things done ONE way and one way only - which meant Chandler always knew where he stood with her. If something was wrong, she'd tell him. If she said she was happy and loved him, he could believe her more easily because she simply could not fake it when something was bothering her.

Much like Chandler, her family life was not at all ideal (due to her parents pretty openly liking Ross more than her) and she had tons of self-esteem issues (again, because of her parents and because she used to be overweight) - but she also take a joke, or at the very least, make fun of people right back. I think Chandler related to that.

And, more importantly, their friend group had not imploded after Ross and Rachel's relationship ended very badly, twice. So Chandler just knew that, even if he and Monica didn't work out, it wouldn't be the end of the world, or of their friendship.

It made perfect sense that lots of his typical paranoia didn't affect him as much during their relationship, because by that point he just knew that Monica would always be part of his life.

But the writers also didn't make the mistake of dropping his insecurities, anxiety and even immaturity completely. They came back every now then, sometimes for jokes, other times in a more serious way.

He can't bring himself to full on say that he wants them to be exclusive right away, got way too cocky about being the best sex she ever had and thus made her mad, assumed they'd break up after the first fight, nearly gave himself a heart-attack when he accidentally said "I love you", proposed to her because he wanted them to be on good terms after a fight but didn't know how to fix things without her guiding him, pretended to storm out in Vegas with an empty bag because he just wanted to be dramatic after a fight, and he almost didn't show up at their wedding.

The fact that the writers allowed to still have flaws, took the time to have him overcome said flaws and without being judgemental of him, like Monica was wasting her time with a total loser, is one of the reasons why his character development worked so well, and why I'll defend even the worst seasons of the show.

More importantly, despite the fact Monica is the one with the more experience on how to actually have a relationship, they also let Chandler be the one be the mature one every now and again, and talk sense into her when she's being unreasonable (like when she wanted to spend ALL the money he had saved for their future on their wedding alone).

I also really like how they have HIM taking the lead in some major events for their relationship, showing not just that he cares, but that he really is growing as a character and becoming more comfortable with being an equal in the relationship, instead of just needing Monica to guide/push him or just agreeing whenever she wants to takes things to the next level.

He is the one that decides they're still in "London time", the one to first say "I love you" (twice), the one to propose in Vegas and then start the conversation about whether they should really get married once they both think it over and are afraid they're rushing into it, the one to decide it's time for them to move in together, the one to propose for real (only took the writers five fucking tries to realize "Damn, maybe they SHOULD get married"), and while Monica says she wants a baby, she does it as a joke and it's Chandler who then brings up the subject seriously.

That last one also brings us one of the sweetest, saddest moments in the entire show. Them discovering they can't have kids, and Chandler making that whole speech to the mother of the baby they want to adopt that, when the time comes, he'll figure out how to be a dad, but Monica is already a mother - without a baby.

It just showed how much he loved her and how great of a partner he was, and it was FAR from being the one time in which they remain an loveable, interesting couple to watch post-marriage (seriously, it's crazy how Friends was THE show to get both a dramatic mess of a couple that can never reconciliate until the finale AND a stable couple that is just allowed to be happy together).

Chandler getting a look at what his life would be like if Monica left him when his boss is dragging him into his mid-life crisis. Monica being all excited to show him her new boots AND allow to actually guess what's changed about her look instead of doing the obligatory sitcom thing of "Wife gets mad at the husband for petty shit", and then Chandler carrying her on his back because said boots hurt her feet (then saying the other pair she wants to buy will cost her one husband, which always cracks me up). Chandler having to move to Tulsa because of his job, them missing each other like crazy, Chandler remaining faithful when another woman makes a move on him and quitting his job because he just wants to be with his wife, who is then super supportive of him when he's unsure of what to do in his professional life from then on - which of course, leads to this great joke.

M: I want you to have a job that you love, not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration. C: I quit and you learn what I do?

(And in case anyone is wondering, yes, I had to google what his job was because I forgot too)

They're simply an incredible couple that I would gladly watch doing the dishes together, and their relationship being so well-written was one of the best things that could have happened to Chandler's characterization because the show deconstructed and evolved it without betraying the core of who Chandler Bing was.

Also their romance led to the iconic episode of everyone finding out and messing with each other about it, and thus the scene of him and Phoebe trying to "seduce each other." I want to find the genius who wrote that scene in particular and send them a thank you card because it was the best thing in the whole world and I'll cherish it forever.

Matthew Perry, The Absolute Legend

Naturally, I have to end this post by remembering the guy that brought this amazing character to life.

Like I said before, he was always aware of the camera and making sure even the smallest reaction was funny for the audience. Like the other main actors, his charisma made good scenes great, and bad/mediocre scenes enjoyable - and whenever the script gave him something truly excellent to work with, he'd do it perfectly and make it all the more special.

He also stopped the writers from commiting THE biggest mistake they could have ever made: In the season 5 finale, after discovering Monica had lunch with her ex, he was supposed to cheat on her in Vegas, basically copying the Ross and Rachel break up drama of season 3. The actor asked them to change the script because he felt it would make everyone hate his character, sparing the audience of more unecessary drama and giving us the super cute almost-wedding in Vegas, that they chicken out of like two dorks, and then leads to them moving in together.

Matthew Perry was gave this role everything he had, even while going through really dark times, and in doing so he made millions of fans happy all over the world - and he'll be dearly missed.

[mirrorshards]

Do you have any good kyman fan fiction to recommend 👀??

I've said it before but i'm not a big reader.. that being said, I did read all of @basu-shokikita's works and I always repeatedly recommend anything she writes-- but I'll be more specific

Vice Versa - kyle and cartman switch bodies

Friday I'm in Love - reality TV episode about the ship kyman and everyone they're involved with (it's written in a show format and it's hilarious)

You and I - kyle finds himself in a drag show he was not prepared for (incredibly touching, there's a playlist too! I drew for this one too)

It could be wrong, could be wrong (but it should've been right) - this one is more main creek in a timeloop with unavoidable kyman and it's SO GOOD (for me this is one of basu's legendary fics btw). basu's ability to just nail characters' dynamics and the overall feel of the show is just fantastic and so fun to read.

that's true to all of these, it's especially why I love her fics where she throws in some more characters cuz it makes it so much funnier..

now the rest of the fics i'm gonna mention are NSFW so this is the only warning you're gonna get

The Weight - college age kyman+stenny simultaneously sort of. I love this one sososo much, it's the base for a lot of headcanons I have for them too

Whole Lotta Woman - kyman accidentally hook up and it's sexy

Breathe Me In - the nsfw and very needed continuation for You and I

Two is a company, Three is a crowd - another of the legendary basu fics, established relationship kyman with a side dish of cartman's super messy relationship with butters

You can let yourself go - another legendary one, technically a continuation of two is a company, and it brought to life dancer butters which is something I never knew I needed until this (also kyman+butters mess)