#but she is also very aware that the faithful light in the dark could have have been her. that she was it for lottie until she wasn't

[enslaughts]

@huntalie. . . liked for a starter.

life had stopped making sense to laura lee the moment their plane plummeted from the sky. glimpses, maybe, here and there, shapes in her periphery, but by the second plane raining fire and brimstone upon them, she'd only kept on falling. head over heels far after she'd already hit the water. o thou of little faith. wherefore didst thou doubt ? maybe it was the moment you let us fucking sink. and yet, there is no other word for it but faith, this hellfire reflection in her eye. it devours the cabin, their home, like a lion, leaving nothing but skin and bone to pick through, blacker than black. at least it's warm. it'll be warmer in hell, something certain in her whispers, a root taking hold. a certainty of the un - seen, made seen before their very eyes. faith. the only thing that's made sense to her since the moment their plane plummeted from the sky ; this is judgment. righteous, holy fire for the blasphemers.

but the innocent were always damned with the guilty. firstborns swallowed in the plague. travis didn't deserve to lose his only home now that his brother was dead. lottie didn't deserve it either, akilah, gen, melissa, natalie. they were already suffering, half frozen, half starved, half dead. what more could it want from them, what more could it take ? what more could they give ? a home. their only home, for their only meal. maybe it was a fair trade after all. but no. no, it's only fair the taste of javi is forever turned to ash in their mouths, but not for all of them. travis, natalie— natalie tried. she was going to feed them all, despite lottie's offering, despite their heresy against it, she was going to feed them. heed the altar call and lie down upon it, and now look at her. ram in the thicket made archangel, forged in fire to light their path forward, chosen by the cards, the wilderness, lottie. who was laura lee to question it ?

so she doesn't. she has faith in lottie, and lottie put her faith in natalie. and god saw the light, that it was good : and god divided the light from the darkness. laura lee knows this, if nothing else : natalie is good. and because she's good, she will doubt herself, just as lottie did, and this is why they're good, why they're chosen. their home is in each other. “   you're not alone in this,   ” she whispers, fierce, forcing the glow in her gaze to shine on natalie's. what a way to start a reign. but light will always shine brighter in the dark. “   have faith in lottie. in yourself. we've made it this far.   ” what more could they lose ? where could they go now but up, after they'd already walked through the gates of hell ? doesn't that depend on which way you're going : out, or further in ? “   you got us this far.   ” not only your skill, but your kindness, “   you've been a faithful servant, natalie. now it's our turn. we just have to give it. . . more of the same.   ” here, cold hands find another's, slow, wary as an animal, but holding tight. “   more faith in it. trust, in each other.   ”

[raayllum]

PAWN-OF-AARAVOS DARK-MAGIC-SCARRED CALLUM WITH LITERAL BLOOD ON HIS HANDS IN THE TRAILER

HOW DOES THAT VINDICATION FEEL?

I love that Claudia gets the white hair and he gets the facial scarring, just like you speculated about! They’re two sides of the same coin!

Also ICARUS CALLUM? HE FLIES TOO HIGH AND HIS WINGS FALL APART? THEY’RE JUST GIVING US EVERYTHING

Listen we Knew ever since he got that cube he'd be a pawn and worried about it (+ increased Claudia and Viren parallels to boot), the blood on his hands even in a dream was a lovely wish come true already, and white streak Callum will always be famous but I gotta say I am loving the corrupted face variant, showing the initial inklings of corruption

I already talked about it in my trailer breakdown post and it's like that singular screencap is Crazy, it's Nuts like the implications no matter which way you play it? Because it's clearly a nightmare or scary vision sequence and like

If it's Rayla's nightmare (the way Runaan is), that means she knows what he did on Finnegrin's boat and that she's scared of what Callum's becoming—Rayla, who's had more faith than arguably anyone that Callum is special ("No, Callum's different!") and amazing with or without his magic ("Humans could take their fates and change them" / "He's noble, and true") and so confident that his destiny was a book he could write himself she refused to even consider the possibility of her needing to be his (and the world's) safety net, because Callum has regularly done the impossible. If her confidence in him is shaken, his must be abysmal

However, if it's Callum's nightmare or vision or whatever (and that's what I'm leaning towards) it does show a shift of sorts. I'm gonna copy and paste what I've said earlier about it and then go into more detail if well, there's detail to go into:

We know from 6x01 details that he has a nightmare regarding Aaravos, and we also know from people at cons that this screencap was not there. Looking at the scene itself, the deep purple lighting highlights that it’s not quite 'real’, nor is it necessarily possible due to the background being Finnegrin’s office on the Sea Legs, where Callum last did dark magic. I could very easily see this being a dream where Callum is having horrifying visions of himself outside his body, and this is one. I do find it interesting that, rather than black dark magic slug goop like I first thought on his hand, it’s actually blood on his hand, and the changes this indicates of Callum’s psyche / fears. Normally when Callum breaks things (primal stone, moon opal necklace, the green slug) it’s with his other hand, for starters. But more importantly, I think it’s interesting that this nightmare isn’t Just about being flat out possessed, but of being more of a dark mage: the eyes, the corruption, the blood, etc. and how that may lead to Aaravos’ will being further enforced over him. It speaks to a recognition of his own agency as well as growing fears of being not just controlled, but corrupted along the way.

One of Callum's greatest assets has always been his self awareness. He's intelligent, attentive, growing in confidence in his own capabilities for more than just magic. This is one of his biggest differences from both Viren and Claudia. However, this awareness of what he could do—what Aaravos could get him to do, possession or otherwise—may make him more stressed, worried, fearful, and paranoid.

Additionally acknowledged is that like in S4 and even in 6x01 Callum seemed mostly concerned with being possessed, as stated. Obviously S4 still had indications it was going to grow into More than just "what if my agency is stripped away" to "what if my agency is stripped away (and it's 'my' fault / because of my previous choices)" from Callum himself ("What if I'm on a path of darkness" is no longer a flimsily founded worry) and even from other characters like Soren ("I know you love magic, Callum, but I hope you're careful, 'cause it can change people").

Which makes sense! Possession is a loss of agency and that's accordingly terrifying, esp to a character like Callum who is the thematic embodiment of Freedom in the series and who cares about agency and being able to Do things 110%. Just having your agency stripped away from you wholesale, though, doesn't give much of a character arc — even if Callum only makes decisions out of paranoia next season > love, he's still making decisions — so like... He can and should be worried about his choices and what they may lead to, honestly. Not only is there set up, it's a much more standard TDP storyline (when is anyone ever let off the hook?) and it's more interesting. Callum is also very good at keeping his fears logically grounded (i.e. not worrying about Viren after 3x09, but stressed about not being a mage in s2) so that's another point in the "yeah this is Setup" column alongside 5x08 and... all of s4 and s5 honestly. So this screencap is very exciting cause it seems Callum is having increased fear and self awareness about his previous dark magic use and the possibility of using it or doing something else he considers awful in the future and I can't wait!

Icarus chose to fly too close to the sun after all

[shuri-sahu]

Name: Reflection

Show: Hazbin Hotel

Warnings: Canonical character death, bad english

Summary: The story of Adam and Lucifer's daughter right up to the final battle

Author: I apologize in advance for my poor English! it is not my native language. And so. I am glad that after a long time my hands came to writing this idea, or rather its prologue, and looking at the interest in it, I will also develop and continue it. I already have a couple of ideas for storylines.

Adele's descent from Adam and Lucifer, the daughter of the king of Hell and an angel, made her a precious soul in the fiery domain. Although her childhood was spent in the shadow of the halls of the embassy, the presence of Evangeline, the exorcist, who was born just a year before her, was a ray of light for the young princess. From an early age, Adele was aware of the gloom of her "home", but communication with Evangeline and time with Father Adam filled her days with joy and laughter.

Despite attempts to hide her from the rest of the underworld, Adele's curiosity and adventurous spirit often led her to explore the embassy's confines. Evangeline was always by her side, and Adele slipped away to discover the secrets of hell, striving to see what lies behind the flames and shadows.Indeed, during her secret forays, Adele witnessed the horrors and debauchery that permeated Hell. She understood the whole point of it. The sight of endless torment and suffering left an indelible mark on her soul, making Adele doubt the nature of sinners. Her initial hopes, Adele discovered that many sinners seem to have resigned themselves to their fate, trapped in an eternal cycle of evil and despair. This realization made her believe that souls might not be redeemable.

Redemption is a stupid and impossible idea. That's what her father said, because if it were so, Cain would be with him. In heaven.

But - all this is nonsense.

However, Evangeline's unwavering optimism and her faith in the power of light continued to give hope in the darkest depths of hell.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Despite the fact that Adele was hidden from Lucifer, she was cherished by another father, Adam, the first man. Adam's love for his daughter was immense, and he made sure to create a caring environment filled with love for her. However, he hid her existence from heaven due to fears for her safety. Adam knew that revealing Adele's true parentage to Lucifer or heaven could simply kill her. Thus, he hid her from prying eyes with the help of extermination, ensuring her peace and safety in the fires of hell.

Adele's dreams of finding connection and understanding with her demon father Lucifer were shattered when she discovered that he already had his own family, headed by his wife Lilith and their daughter Charlie. This revelation deeply hurt little Adele, as she realized that her father had abandoned her, leaving her to grow up in the shadow of hell without his love and guidance.

The burning flame of bitterness and resentment fueled her hatred of Lucifer, forever imprinted in her soul as she struggled with the pain of being unwanted and unloved.

Dad threw her.

Her dad doesn't need her.

Adele's hatred of Lucifer, demons and their hellish realm, was a trait she inherited from her human parent, Adam. Despite all her father's efforts to protect Adele from the horrors of hell and instill love in her heart, Adele could not get rid of the bitter resentment that festered in her soul. It was as if the shadow of the fallen Lucifer had cast a dark shadow over her soul, leaving her with a deep-rooted contempt and contempt for the very depths in which she was born.

Adele's pain and confusion became even deeper when she was faced with the fact that the worlds around her did not want and did not accept her. She longed for answers to a long-standing question about her purpose and why she was created. As she screamed into the dark abyss, her voice echoed through the halls of hell:

"Father, why did you create me just to send me to this hellish realm? Why am I not needed in heaven or on earth, or even here, in the very depths of your domain?"

Adele did not hear the answer.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Despite her hatred and despair, Adele found solace in the gentle touch and gentle presence of Dad - Adam. The moments she spent in his arms, in his loving embrace, brought her a sense of security and a sense of how to be loved.

There, under her father's eye, she could find a brief respite from the turmoil and chaos of the hellish worlds, at least for a short time, before surrendering to the shelter of sleep under his protective golden wings.

The words "I will protect you from everyone" were reflected in Adele's memory. These simple words, spoken with such sincere sincerity, became a magnet in Adele's heart, a lifeline that went through all her stormy childhood in hell. In a hellish world where love seemed to be absent and compassion elusive, Adele clung tightly to this unshakeable bond with her father, cherishing it like a jewel in a world devoid of warmth and affection. The concept of love had a special meaning for Adele. In her father's arms, she found refuge and a sense of security that remained unshakeable amid the chaos and despair of hell.

Adele believed that the love of her father and devoted Evangeline for her distinguished them from the darkness surrounding them, because she knew that true love could blossom even in the most unforgiving worlds, illuminating the darkness with its radiant warmth.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

During the chaos of the battle, Adele watched as her father's army was almost destroyed. The exorcists have been killed. Those immortal angels who bring her every year are now lying while their bodies are getting cold.

Stop.

Her Evangeline is also an exorcist.

My Evangeline, close your eyes!

Desperate to protect her, Adele now harbored a deep grudge against all her hellish relatives, but especially her biological father Lucifer and stepsister Charlie.

She saw it.

I saw those things kill her father. She saw Adam being beaten up. She saw him struggling. She saw him being driven into the ground with a bright smile on his face. She saw his eyes closing forever.

So why didn't she do anything?

There is pain in my head, and a burning and acrid hatred has spread in my soul. She spreads poison through her golden blood, releases the hated horns and spreads her wings. But Adele is silent.

He watches the bastards who killed him rejoice. He watches this scum Charlie standing with a smile, building his fucking hotel. She screamed with those same lips that Adam was a pig and pierced him with a damn trident with those hands.

Hate.

And he squeezes Evangeline's hand harder and harder. Adele looks at her and covers her eyes with her hand. Evangeline is the only thing she has left. They'll kill her too, since they didn't spare her sisters.

continuation

[diaphin93]

Fantastical Misconceptions Part 2: The Safflower Chapter

And here is the second part where I go more in depth on some of the mischaracterizations, misinterpretations and at times outright misinformation that I've seen Fantasyinvader spreading. It initially started with me being widely amused by the very reaching claims about the inspirations of Fire Emblems Dragons he was making, combined with my awareness of his often orientalist and superficial fixation of interpreting 3 Houses on what he believes eastern religion entails, something I am by no means an expert on, but even I can see the reach and grasps in, especially since for me it always invokes the impression of this very fetishistic notion of Japan as this isolated, culturally 'pure' nation which certain groups also love to spread, often with the goal of molding Japan into a homogenous representation of the Idea they want to promote.

In this case I also felt the need to make the part centering Edelgard into its entirely own blogpost due to me becoming aware of some outright misogynistic and, I will say it openly, incel-esque sounding interpretations of Edelgard as a character, which is especially distasteful if you consider Edelgards status as one of the few actually central female main Lords in the series, but also as Fire emblems first ever canonically queer Non-Avatar Lord. So lets get started with reposting the screenshot that inspired me to this three part series:

In my first post I already made it clear that this is yet again just a very abstract and in my opinion somewhat orientalist interpretation of Dragons in the Fire Emblem Series, ignoring the series choice of designs and cultural inspirations as well as widely misinterpreting both western and japanese dragon folklore, which is already highly debunked by the existance of Duma and Mila as two Divine Dragons who have to be overthrown for humanity to creat a land free of divine intervention, akin to the Crimson Flower Route.

But then the issue is, that interpreting Edelgard as the evil dragon of the game doesn't work because she is plain and simply not a dragon, by no stretch of the imagination and her demonic transformation, an expression of the lengths she would go through for her ideals, is unique to one single route and bears no design elements associated with dragons. And interestingly, if anything her hegemon transformation plays into one of the games subversive elements, its deconstruction of divine bloodlines, which play into the games overall very anti-feudal and anti-theocratic attitudes, which Fantasyinvader loves to dismiss and actually argue in favor of feudalism and theocracy which is...yikes. Combined with whats to come, I can't view this guy and his personal views in no semblance of good faith, I'm honest in this regards.

The concept of a demonic beast is brought up as early chapter 5, when we see Miklan being transformed into a demonic beast by the Lance of Ruin, the first hint towards the true sinister nature of crests and heroes relics. With its power of turning those not belonging to them into demons, and even being capable of corrupting and transforming those who possess these bloodlines, the concept of the divine bloodline and the holy heroes relic itself is innately tied towards demonic powers, as is further supported by the energy they radiate being presented in a dark red and blackish color scheme, as opposed to the bright colors we associate with light and divinity. In Edelgards case, one could view it as another subversive element, as the form is connected to Edelgard awakening the full power of her twin-crests, her unleashing the Fire Emblem in service of her ideals.

But with the demonic connotations of the crests and her transformation, I think more than a traditional intsys evil dragon, Edelgard plays more into the influences that Koei Tecmo brought into 3 Houses, with it being confirmed through their Dream Interview that they borrowed heavily from Romance of the Three Kingdoms, while the team involved in the development of 3 Houses has a long history of Nobunaga-centric Sengoku era strategy games, I think what Edelgard invokes much more as the final boss of Azure Moon is the popular image that Cao Cao is associated with and that is also highly connected to Nobunaga, two historical figures Koei Tecmo has a history of interpreting and utilizing in their games and who clearly inspired central aspects of Edelgards personality and role, namely the popular image of the demon king. Thats right, Hegemon Edelgard is Edelgard, faced with those who want to preserve the old order of things and stand against her ideal, fully embraces her role as the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven.

And that is where it becomes interesting, as Team Kou Shibusawa, named after the companies founder and CEO, traces its and the companies history back to historical games and the Nobunagas Ambition Games, which did subvert the popular image of Nobunaga as the Demon King by presenting him as more nuanced and favorable, something they also started to do with Cao Cao in Koei Tecmos Dynasty Warrior Series. There is a great fondness and positive reception for this historical archetype deep in Koeis DNA and we know, that ultimately they contributed a majority of the writing team for 3 Houses. Thats were really Fantasyinvader's grasp for straws fall apart in trying to frame Edelgard as a purely villainous figure, it simply contradicts with the attitudes of the company which wrote the games journey. She does invoke the traditional Fire Emblem Archetype of the Rudolf, but subverts it while at the same time going way back into its foundations. Because after all, Rudolf himself was already a very morally grey and nuanced antagonist, who was revealed to actually voluntarily play the part of the villain and tyrant to set his plan in motion of creating a hero who is capable of ruling Valentia free of godly influences, which Edelgard does heavily imbody, only with the twist that the game indirectly encourages you to support, not oppose her. After all, the game itself heavily humanizes her even at the end of Azure Moon, where the mask of the Demon King, the Hegemon, she put on herself is lifted and she is El at the end, dying not at the Hegemon but as El. Visually the fact that the Hegemon Form is lifted from her at the end and Dimitri approaches her as El already shows, how the Hegemon itself was nothing but a facade, a role she was forced to play in service of her ideals. Even the ending theme is set up to be bittersweet, being Lady of Hresvelg which is entirely about Els perspective and her unfullfilled desires and wishes. Fantasyinvader's interpretation simply does not hold up under any scrutiny.

But here we also go into a darker territory which I need to express, namely what I learned about the misinformation and mischaracterization FI does spread about El, which goes far and above about your typical Edelgard Critical positions into a territory that is unambigiously rooted in some form of misogyny and, as I hinted at, kinda incel-esque attitudes. What I learned is that some time ago, Fantasyinvader started to refer to Crimson Flower as Safflower, based on the japanese name of the route which is Benibana translating into deep-red flower and being the japanese name of the flower, where he started to to push forward his personal blackpilled interpretation of CF and Edelgard as something of a seductress who seduces and manipulates the player and Byleth into being attracted to her in order to mislead them and manipulate them into rejecting enlightenment. What I gathered is really disgusting and dirty, as well as deeply problematic due to the context surrounding Edelgard as a character. As a non-sexualized, three-dimensional and nuanced female Lead character and central Lord of the game, as shown with her being the lead of the Engage 3 Houses Emblem, it is already kinda disgusting to really twist and bend the character into this kind of interpretation, especially with the added context of her backstory involving her being stripped of her bodily autonomy, something he seems to deny, as well as her position as Fire Emblems first canonically Non-Avatar Lord. It screams probelamtic and bad attitudes in every direction that he does go that low and I will not treat Fantasyinvader in any good faith after learning of that. For me it only supports the notion of the Edelcrit community having super misogynist and lesbophobic undertones, considering their vitriol and deranged hatred towards a character whose contemporary popcultural relevance is predominantly one of being a female queer gaming icon. Textually, the notion of Edelgard luring the player in with a seductive and adorable side is just...not what happens. Edelgard starts of as strict and less personable than the other leaders and requires active player effort by the player to show them her vulnerable and her more adorable side. For the most part she wears a mask of a strict class rep and later on, the flame emperor.

Then there is the issue of him outright lying. It begins with him seemingly pushing the interpretation that in flower language, Safflowers represent attraction, not love. Not helping with the I-Word image here, as this is outright untrue. What Safflowers actually represent is Good Luck and Happiness. In Folklore they are said to attract love and marriage. So in actuality, the meaning in flower language is the opposite of what he seems to want to push to his gullible audience. The Crimson Flower represents love and joy. Fantasyinvader also seems to spread lies about developer intentions and player receptions, seemingly talking about how the Developers talking about how Edelgard tricks the player and that Crimson Flower was made more accessible to trick them, which is simply a lie. There seems to be also comments about 'asian' players feeling tricked by Edelgard after playing Crimson Flower, which is not sourced and I feel rather skeptical about. It is reminiscent to claims that koreans hate Edelgard, when it was actually just posts from Kchan which were primarily motivated by bigotry and homophobia. Despite what many of the Edelcritical players try to tell themselves, most metrics indicate Edelgards popularity across the Fandom. She did bad in the Dream Interview Poll early on, but then sweeped her first round of CYL in Fire Emblem Heroes by being the most voted hero to this day, she consistently showed up as the most deployed unit of the game at its beginning and again in Heroes has her alts usually rank high before the voting gauntlet.

All in all, this bloggers particular points as far as I was made aware of them seem to be mostly based on misinformation, outright lies and some interpretations which he pushes forward with authority as truth that reflect more negatively on him than on Edelgard and again, in my opinion imply a bias coming from a darker place. It spreads a very problematic interpretation of the game that is simply not supported by the games text, subtext or presentation and sounds rooted in misogynist attitudes.

Having this out of my system and the blog already becoming very long, I will release a third part of the Blog where I will go deeper into the Demon King parallels between Edelgard and classical Koei Figures such as Cao Cao and especially Nobunaga and my thoughts on much of the roots of the attitudes towards Edelgards motives, goals and the war itself. Stay tuned for the upcoming part 3: Edelgard, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven.

[bookwyrminspiration]

thought on the significance of colors in kotlc?

This is rather broad; there's many approaches here. We could talk about the obvious world ruled by light, both groups of rebels associate w/ black situation--and the intrigue in having two opposing rebel groups both being black (ignore the technicalities of it being a shade). There's also the few characters with very strong color ties--Sophie and red, Fitz and teal, Oralie and pink, Tam and black.

Red's blood, anger, war, violence, and more, all tied to the role Sophie has found herself part of; she is the center of this war, more accustomed to violence than her peers--and its the color her aura glowed in the seat of eminence. It's also associated with love and strength, more positive connotations that embody what she brings and what she fights for. Sophie wears a lot of white on the covers, making it also the color of children's hospitals, a place where Sophie spends a lot of time

A quick search associates teal with clarity and open communication, which is fitting for Fitz; his whole thing is trust and being honest with each other--and the fact he was the one who opened Sophie to this other world, helped her see with clarity, is notable. Apparently, Egyptians saw it "as representation of faith and truth," which is a reaffirmation of the first point. It's also interesting that teal and red aren't opposites, but are rather...opposite adjacent? Close but not quite.

There's also the very obvious Oralie/Pink, Tam/black associations. Pink is feminine, loving, compassionate--all traits Oralie embodies. Of note though is that pink is opposite of green, the color of life for elves. Her life does not appear to be in danger, but it does seem entwined with tragedy and loss, to an extent. Perhaps fitting that green is opposite red as well, and pink is simply a subtler shade of red; she does not suffer full opposite association, but is still touched by it. Tam's seems too obvious to need much explaining; he's a shade, works with shadows, associated with secrecy, distrust, etc.--though not death. Black doesn't mean death for elves.

We don't have many characters this obviously tied to colors, however. Instead we can circle back to the one other color in the lost cities that stands out: green. The color of life, worn in mourning. Which we could also compare to the typical black (in Shannon's background), a color we've already associated with rebels. The rebels then, in a sense, both do and don't represent death/change; to those of us aware of black's association with death, we see the comparison, but within the universe they're instead associated with secrecy and fear and shadows (like Tam), the antithesis of their light society. Returning to the green specifically, we could also pull in Sophie's red; as a complimentary color, she could be said to compliment life. It is her war, her violence, her passion, her strength that will aid and proliferate life in the lost cities.

I'll stop here for now, but I'm sure there are several other ways to look at color--if you (or anyone else) had a more specific idea in mind, please do tell me, I'm kinda take a stab in the dark here about what kind of color significance you're commenting on :)

[blackjackkent]

Cultist battle report: Bhaal cultists are scary. This has been the cultist battle report.

Hector and co are also scary at this point and Hector basically evaporates people once he manages to get close to them; the scary thing about these cultists, primarily, was that they all got to go first, strike from stealth, and have about 50 attacks each. But once Hector and Karlach are allowed to do the NINE ATTACKS they do between them per round, anyone in the immediate vicinity is toast. Jaheira has also been spending a lot of time in sabertooth tiger form (particularly now while she is very clearly in the mood to rip someone's throat out) which also gets like 2-3 attacks and can cleave off AC levels. Shadowheart is honestly pretty low-key by comparison, but she mostly stands at the back with a bless and a spiritual weapon up and keeps everyone feeling as badass as possible. So we've got a pretty good group going.

(It occurs to me that if I do slot Minsc in for Shadowheart we'll be losing our healer; I think I'm starting to do well enough at this difficulty level that it won't be TOO much of a problem but it will definitely add complexity. Hm. We shall see!)

But eventually we won. Several ambient comments from the thieves/bank employees we saved in the process, of which this was obviously my favorite:

Hell yeah - Jaheira's a badass. ^_^

She's also having a very, very, VERY bad day and showing it.

"I grow tired of these false faces. Every corner we turn, another - and now it is my face they use to turn Minsc against us."

Her voice cracks and she looks away from him towards the floor. "I am sorry," she mutters. "But... I am just... *tired*."

:( :( :(

I really, really wanted Hector to be able to answer something here along the lines of "Oh, gods, me too, you have no idea," but sadly this was one of the points where none of the available options really seemed particularly Hector-ish.

2 is the only one that seems remotely reasonable as an answer, but it's WAY more optimistic than Hector feels about this situation. He suspects at the very least Minsc is tadpoled, and there are a lot of potential worse-case scenarios piled on top of that.

But... he is tired too. Perhaps too tired to try to explain all the ways this could go wrong when Jaheira is no doubt just as aware of them as he is.

"Why?" he says gently. "We know Minsc is alive. Now we just have to find him."

"It is some defect of the mind, I think," Jaheira snaps bitterly, "to stubbornly insist you are following the light, even as you blunder through the darkness."

(It is, perhaps, a defensive reaction, a cry of pain for those she has lost - so many who brought the light wherever they walked. Caden, of course - the boy from Candlekeep who carried Bhaal in his blood but Selune in his soul, who opened his heart to everyone without reservation even when times were darkest. And Rasaad, whose faith wavered but whose striving for the light never did, who stood at her side and held her hand and searched for purpose along with her when all direction seemed to have faded.

Imoen, always quick with a joke, never phased even by the things that faced them in the most horrible corners of the world. Aerie - young, innocent, a beacon of kindness that smoothed some of the rough edges Jaheira would have presented in her worst moments. And Minsc himself, always joyous in combat and out of it, gleeful always as long as he was among friends and on the path of right.

And farther back still, Khalid who she carries always deepest in her heart, his light voice always a counterpoint to her caution, brave and ferocious in defense of the good but always finding the softer note to strike even when all seemed lost.

What good, she wonders, to carry such light on my own, when all those who carried it with me have slipped beyond my reach?

But they are not all gone. She has new companions now - this new monk of Selune with his pale, sad eyes, who has shouldered her burden alongside her without regret or question - who stands looking at her now and offers an optimism that carries echoes of those who came before him.

The light may be hard to come by. But she is not alone in the dark, if she has the courage to face what is lurking there...)

"Or perhaps the defect is mine," she goes on quietly after a short pause. She swallows, draws a shaky breath and lets it out heavily. "When I left Minsc to this fate... I believed I had no choice. I believe it still; we were ignorant of our enemy, unarmed against the cult. I made the right decision. But I do not like how easily I made it."

Her voice has grown flat, wearier than Hector has ever heard it, full of grief and regret. This is, he realizes, a moment of trust; she is taking him as a confidante, speaking of all that has weighed on her. And so he remains silent and very still, as if any movement might break the fragile moment.

"Minsc would never have left me behind," Jaheira goes on heavily. "No matter what happened." A pause, and then her eyes flash with muted frustration. "That is his problem entire. The past century left Minsc unchanged. And so he believes the world has never changed - that *I* have not. You saw the fool... hanging on the doppelganger's every word, for no other reason than that it wears my face."

He hears the anxious catch in her voice, the note of guilt, and the urgency to explain herself, as if it could push the feelings away from her physically. He shakes his head.

"You don't have to explain, Jaheira," he says gently. "You're worried for your friend. It's not a crime."

She looks at him for a moment steadily, and then a slight smile tugs her lips. He can see the visible shift that he is all too familiar with in himself - putting the feelings aside to be dealt with later, or ideally left behind entirely. "No," she says with sudden briskness. "But snotting into my sleeve while there is still work to do is." She turns away, looking out over the blood-smeared vault. "Come, then. We need a lead. And bullying this banker ought to make me feel better."

[tired-reader-writer]

Team Zahhak lair recerence. Very spooky— are those fetuses?

This panel makes my brain go brr bc yes this humanizes Hilmes but also there's a lot of factors contributing to that impression even outside of the dialogue— the panel is relatively small, giving off a vulnerable, subdued feel. His eyes (which often come across as inhuman or burning with an unearthly flame) are not shown, his expression is milder here than before, and the actual dialogue bubbles are also small to give a vibe different from usual: he is not the intense, terrifying man he usually is, he's a grieving person who feels responsible for Kharlan's family after what he's done for him. The result combined with the actual text of the dialogue conveys Hilmes' humanity even before we learn of his backstory. Good. Job.

Also, show us Kharlan's wife, Arakawa. Where is she.

He leaves, and his expression is difficult to see and he's shrouded in shadows. I wonder how he dealt with this loss when he gets truly alone. Does he keep thinking of Kharlan, replaying memories? Imagining an unusually quiet and subdued Hilmes all alone in a big room :(

Before, I used to wonder why the fuck Hilmes was rewarding Team Zahhak with gold of all things— I theorized on whether perhaps precious metals or the like could have a fueling effect on magic but turns out I was overthinking it. It's not bc money is somehow useful to Team Zahhak, no, it's because Hilmes does not understand Team Zahhak and what they're striving for. This scene was meant to convey that they definitely got their thing going on and are likely using Hilmes, and Hilmes is in the dark about a lot of things, including their intentions, going by how the Master dismissively flicks a coin away. It holds no meaning to him, it has no worth.

I kinda feel like a fool, lol.

So slaves are not meant to be seen on the main streets? I guess they have their own dedicated pathways? Or is this a Lusitanian invention? Hmm.

Not screencapped but the anklets make an appearance again!

Palace refs! This reminds me of the water garden in Otoyomegatari (which I screencapped in this post) which makes sense considering they're both drawn from the same cultural inspiration.

Yikes.

It should be that confessions brought forth by torture should not be trusted bc humans will just say whatever they think their tormenters want them to say just to make the torture end, it's not about obtaining accurate info or confessions at all, has never been. It's about the captors exerting their power over the captive, and it's disgusting.

The same principle applies here. People aren't converting out of genuine faith, they're converting as part of self-preservation. And while I'm not sure Bodin is consciously aware of it or not but it's clear that he just likes flaunting his power over the defenseless rather than wishing to make people see the true glory of Yaldabaoth or whatever.

God I hate this guy.

This must be the royal archives!

The burning of books still boils my blood, it's abhorrent. And Bodin even threw a fellow Lusitanian into the fire just because he suggested a sensible thing of, y'know, not setting these tomes on fire willy-nilly.

It's okay, it's okay, chapter 121 is there for us. It's okay. But god I hate this man.

Foreshadowing! :D Rereading Bodin's atrocities gave me even more satisfaction for chapter 121.

I don't really have anything interesting to say about this, just putting it here bc I find it neat.

This is the first we hear of Narsus freeing his household slaves— when we're first introduced to him we only learn that he's a master tactician who pissed off the royal court and left, and though we already had a favorable impression of him (and his anti-slavery sentiments are already apparent) this sheds a newer light on his character.

It is not enough to just flip an old system over like a table and say “there, done, everything's fine and dandy now!”, it doesn't work that way. It is not enough to have an uprising or a revolution or whatever, it is even more important to have a clear vision of what comes after and how to achieve it. Good ruling isn't about winning battles it's about competent administration and resource distribution and all that jazz. It is not enough to just destroy, you must create as well.

The slaves in Ecbatana did not have the means to act on their (supposed) freedom because they hadn't planned for it, they don't have the means to, all they could do was the uprising without the follow-up and... I do not blame them, they didn't know any better, but this just shows how important these sorts of things is.

This also sheds a light on Hilmes because... he doesn't have a vision for Pars' future beyond him ruling it. That is not enough.

And look at Daryun looking concerned for Narsus!

[brunettemermaid]

Dear John is about realizing you’ve been played, it’s about seeing what kind of relationship you could’ve gotten into if you hadn’t took the matches before fire could catch you. 

In the very beggining Taylor sings:  Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you. It’s not clear she was actually with him those nights, it seems more likely like she couldn’t get him out of her mind. It’s not we’re dancing ‘round the kitchen in the refrigerator light, it’s much less descriptive, vague, just like the non-relationship was. It was an illusion, a posibility but never a reality, just think of keeping lines blurry. In fact, she refers to games twice thorough the song: I lived in your chess game and To be played by your dark twisted games. It was all games, she admits having been played. The line which version of you I might get on the phone means she didn’t see him face to face that much. It might suggest they talk over the phone most of the time. It wasn’t serious, not for him clearly, cause she does say: when I loved you, so.

When she says she’s stopped picking up the phone it means she doesn’t want to give him attention anymore. It’s well-known that a player loves attention. And we know he’s a player: All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired lifeless eyes cause you burned them down. Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve brings more light into this, cause the thing is, she didn’t get her heart broken like she did in the relationship she talks about in Red: she lost her innocence. She says maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame, as she was maybe too naive, not aware of a player’s bad tricks yet. She was too young for that as she recalls if he hadn’t had saved her from boredom she hadn’t had danced with the devil at nineteen. 

She also knows that he, a narcissistic, will never admit doing anything wrong, he got to wash his hands anyway as she sings in WCS. Everyone seemed to have warned her: how I ignored when they said "run as fast as you can" but it’s not until she stops picking the phone when she gets to see the situation in hindsight and realizes there was never really anything but sick games. In WCS she sings I wish you left me wondering cause he saw her the twisted and dark side of men(people, love, whichever term you prefer) In that song she says she lost her faith, exactly she lost innocence, and that’s not something you forgive, that’s something that sounds like this:

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the timeIf clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first

[tenuuchlegch]

         The morning sun was peaking over horizon line, as F’lhaminn poured out her heart to Warburton and Minfilia... or what remained of them. Skies turning a pinkish color over camp Drybone, a falcon cried overhead with wings spread wide soaring into unknown territories. The crystalized aether from shard of Dalamud also began gleaming in the distance, like fire being ignited. How ironic, that the atmosphere would display as such a tranquil scene befitting the one two women were honoring. Truly, it was as if Hydaelyn herself had gone out of her way to ensure this moment’s absolute serenity. Au ra was certain the former leader of Scions would have very much enjoyed it.  

         While Odtsetseg could not boast of knowing the hyur on a level other Scions did, when miqo’te approached her regarding letter which involved group’s former leader she was compelled to escort retired songstress. This was not completely for her sake, but so they both could receive some closure regarding their now long departed friend and kin. Minfilia... or rather Ascilia was a good woman, whose munificence and compassion towards her fellow man inspired or spurred others forward. Xaela would know, for she was one of them. Yet despite all the good that she accomplished, warrior of light’s fellow Echo user never got a proper burial, for there was no body to be found. It was a shame, that none of them had gotten around to doing so until now. She was a light in the darkness, who ignited the flame others may shoulder after all. 

        Odtsetseg hoped she would be one day worthy of such steadfast faith.

         F’lhaminn’s query of what she would say, snapped xaela out from her thoughts. Blinking, typically laconic adventurer briefly found herself at a loss for words. In truth, a part of Odtsetseg half expected miqo’te to simply say her piece, thank au ra then leave. That is what sometimes occurred, amidst circumstances such as this one. Besides what could she, someone who was only a brief part of Minfilia’s life possibly have to say which was not uttered already? But auri had to say her piece, didn’t she? Even if their time together was short, she worked in close liaison with the blond-haired woman. It would be wrong, to maintain her silence now. Additionally, there was a lot left unsaid. 

         Turning to the grave fully after a moment, Odtsetseg breathed in, placed one knee on ground and spoke. 

         “Hello, Minfilia... or should I call you Ascilia now? Whatever the case, I think I will go with the former, if you do not mind.” There came a pause, as eyes closed and head lowered in a shamed fashion. “I never got the chance to tell you this, but when I came to you and the Scions... I had nothing. I had lost my home- my tribe. All the traditions I grew up with were squashed, then scatted to the four winds and every member of my family was either gone or lost touch with me long ago. Needless to say, it would be no exaggeration that I was lost, bitter and... broken. I helped people yes, but I cannot claim that it was from a pure desire such as yours. To be frank, I cared very little for people- I was terrified to. It lead to attachment, I surmised and attachment would only lead towards heartache.” A sigh escaped lungs, as she lifted hues to look upon the grave again; soft smile returning.

          “Yet, in spite of my stubbornness you and the others still kept me by your sides. You treated me as one of your own, despite our very different backgrounds and the fact that our cultures often clashed with one another. Though I did not see it at first, I now am aware that you and the others became like family to me, through our journey. ... Apologies for trying to start our friendship out with a blood pact, by the way. I realize now that was plausibly quite intense to witness.” A noise which hinted at surprise was heard behind her (likely from F’lhaminn), but Odtsetseg paid no mind to it and continued.

         “Either way, I can assure you that your legacy will live on. I may not be the warrior of light you were acquainted with all those years ago, but... let there be no doubt that I will make strides to be the person you believed me to be. Thancred and the others will do their best too, I am certain. With that being said, I hope this gives both you and your father reassurance that you can finally rest.” 

         When all the Scions returned safely to the source, Odtsetseg would ensure that this place be made known towards them. It would not be fair of her to keep such information for herself. Besides, if they all were made aware entire group could visit her to honor the generous woman’s memory. 

[freezegirl]

five times happy:     ( five times the sender made the receiver happy. ) / zoe

5x // @goldshadows' zoe nunez

01: it's colder in the maxville ice arena than zoe thought it would be. even if she's all layered up. even if she's on her third cup of hot cocoa. kie is the last person to do her routine and zoe had promised to be there. so that keeps her going. the promise she'd made.

"and closing off nationals, it's khione goossens, skating to 'toy box' by disco diva mylene cruz!"

kie's dark hair is fashioned into a tight, high ponytail. and the dress she wears evokes a sensual kind of snow queen and it has more sheer panels than the regular outfits kie has worn on the ice so far.

it's out there. one might even argue that it's skirting the line. but it fits the theme of the night: self exploration and self expression through art. that, and kie has told zoe about the katarina rule so many times that zoe could write an essay on it or recite it in her sleep.

not too clothed; not too bare. no point deductions. not for this. so long as everyone keeps everything tasteful and modest.

their eyes meet for but a moment. but one moment is enough for zoe to see how happy kie is to see her. then, khione smirks, self assured, and the final routine of the evening begins.

hide your toys under the bed time for this doll to get fed turn the lights down, come in now let the games begin

fire boy is gonna lose his shit, zoe thinks to herself with a grin, as she readies herself to start filming.

02: "you owe me hot cocoa after this," zoe says, "or at least glühwein. or honey mead." kie laughs in response: "christmas was three weeks ago, but sure, i'll run a lap around the venue after we're done here, see if i can get some for you. red or white?"

they're almost done with the ice sculpture festival and kie's still having the time of her life, prancing around the place and commenting on every single sculpture before taking a bajillion selfies. zoe? not so much. sure, the sculptures are absolutely gorgeous, but she could've done with less freezing temperatures.

"no but really though," kie says after she's taken a selfie next to an icy flamenco dancer. "i'm glad you're here, zo. i'm glad you said yes to this. thank you. it means the world to me."

03: "thanks for partnering up with me," kie whispers, "i hate this class. i hate everything about this." zoe just looks at her, doesn't say anything. doesn't have to. because the look on her face is enough: no shit sherlock. everyone who's anyone knows that khione goossens hates medulla's telepathy lessons with a burning passion of a thousand fiery suns, which is highly ironic, considering she's not a pyrokinetic. "but i don't hate you," kie finishes her little rant with a small, yet sincere, smile.

04: "okay, let's go: you, me, fuck, marry, kill: avengers edition. i'll go first: captain america, thor and---"

"---not bruce banner, he's already married to faith lehane, or, rather, banner. faith banner. can you believe i actually met her the other night and i didn't recognize her until way after the fact?! like, wow, that's almost as bad a faux pas as not talking to that one girl at avengercon who was wearing the most gorgeous ororo munroe cosplay i've ever seen in my entire life."

"you're a nerd," zoe says and her voice is filled with affection.

"i know," kie smiles but the smile on her face fades when zoe concludes the little list: "iron man."

"ugh, couldn't have given me miss widow, could you?" kie pouts. "or kate bishop? or ant-man's daughter? or spidey? or the runaways? or cloak and dagger?!"

"maybe in the next round," zoe concedes and runs her hand through kie's hair as her eyes flutter shut and she contemplates her choices.

"before i begin," kie says, "i would like to go on record and state that i am very aware that all of them are older than me and that all of this is conjecture and that in real life, none of this would work. and also, none of them are warren. so they automatically lose."

"kie!" zoe groans. "just tell me already!"

"i---i would sleep with thor because i genuinely feel as though he would treat me right, and also, can you imagine the philosophical discussions we could have? because if you go back far enough, everything connects! like there's this irish water goddess named danu and there is also an indian primordial water goddess named danu. so i would like to talk about where, if and how norse myths could allign with indian lore."

zoe coughs and tells her she can say 'fuck'. kie flushes and tells zoe that she knows that: "right, yes, okay. so, i would sleep with thor. i would marry cap because i think he's a good man and would be a good husband - this goes for mister rogers and mister wilson as well. which leaves iron man. i would kill him. with kindness. 'cause i feel like that man could use a bit of that after all he's been through."

05: "zo, seriously. you are an omega level mutant." just like kie herself. just like all of their friends. "there is no one i would want by my side more than you while we're tracking down michael baxter, okay? i am so happy you're here. and believe in you. i believe in you."

[mareastrorum]

The Fool and the Soldier: Chapter Commentary

Chapter 3: The Chariot & The Cart

On off weeks, I’ll be posting some commentary on the prior week’s chapter. Since this is a longfic, I expect that it will be helpful for keeping track of stuff, plus I might mention something you missed. Of course, this will include spoilers, so continue with that in mind.

These aren’t meant to be comprehensive! There is so much more going on that I’m not saying. Feel free to ask questions too, either in replies or asks. If it’s too spoilery, I’ll let you know. I’ll add them to the body at the bottom as I receive them.

See the directory for other meta posts.

The Chariot & The Cart

Three’s a Pattern, so it should be clear now that all the chapter titles are going to be based on the cards. There’ll be a longer meta post about those details.

As Molly explained in Chapter 2, “The Chariot is for speed, urgency, and ambition. The Cart is for slowing down and taking time to enjoy something.” This chapter juxtaposes the Mighty Nein’s leisure time with the Tombtakers rushing into situations they really don’t understand.

Dream: Graveyard

There is so much going on in this scene. Going into too much detail will spoil things, so I’ll just discuss some stuff that might clarify some things to keep in mind.

This is Cree’s dream, which introduces the reader to the fact that we’re not only going to see Molly’s dreams in this story. Dreams were such a big deal in the campaign, so I didn’t want to pass up that fun with the other characters. Matt also specifically mentioned that Cree had unsettling dreams about Lucien, so I wanted to include at least one.

As many people guessed, the raven is Vax’ildan, the Champion of the Raven Queen. I felt he’d show up in moments of crucial events on the Matron’s behalf, but this isn’t grayintogreen’s Life in the Margin of Redemption series. Lucien’s going to be an antagonist, and for that to work, someone needs to summon him to the Material Plane, and that could only be Cree. No one else would have the means and motivation to do it. So, as dramatic as the scene is, the result was already set in stone.

Cree also catches on to that strangeness before realizing she’s in a dream. She grew up on the streets of Shadycreek Run; as desperate as she is to get Lucien back, she still recognizes that someone is taking advantage of her. Not that it stops her when the pressure piles on.

I included numerous hints as to who is who—and the absences matter too. As with other abstract dreams, there’s a lot of symbolism at work in this scene. There’s also some world-building stuff being alluded to that won’t get discussed until later chapters. This is a scene that would be worth revisiting later on.

In the Dark

This short scene of Cree waking up is to help re-orient the reader (since she is doing the same) after an intentionally confusing dream. It also provides some exposition that she had been a follower of the Raven Queen until her attempt to resurrect Lucien failed. Cree’s faith is complicated. It’s not exactly conditional so much as she has an exceptionally low tolerance for betrayal. She was a blood cleric of the Raven Queen at the Claret Orders: she’s very much aware of and accepting of death. However, she is stuck on this idea that her spell to raise Lucien from the dead should have worked. That is a massive chip on her shoulder that isn’t going to just go away over time.

There’s also more symbolism in this scene. Cree’s alone in the dark, caught in something that’s limiting her, and she flails around a bit before getting oriented. Even then, she doesn’t light the room, nor does she seek anyone’s help; she just clings to her holy symbol and soldiers on.

Hmmm, that sounds familiar…

Bladegarden

This and the next several scenes were all an exercise in pacing and ordering. I wanted a few events to happen in this chapter to set up for later, and it needed to flow coherently so that it didn’t just seem like random vignettes of the Nein’s downtime.

I wanted to include a check-in with Yasha in this chapter, and her location had to make sense for when/where she split off from the Nein (27 Fessuran on Glory Run Road) and that she beat them to Nicodranas. I figured that if she went south via Bladegarden, she could cut southwest and still get ahead of the Nein during their two-week break in Zadash. However, doing something near Bladegarden required her scene to be right at the start, or else it wouldn’t line up properly. That influenced some of my choices about Cree’s dream so I could highlight the differences between the two.

Both Cree and Yasha feel this overbearing sense of guilt for failing to take action to prevent the death of someone they loved. Yasha didn’t go with Zuala to confront the Skyspear, who murdered Zuala for her admission that she had married Yasha without consent. Cree didn’t intervene when Lucien decided to ask Vess DeRogna to do the ritual, which resulted in his death at her hands. There’s no way either of them could know that their interference would have actually saved anyone, but there’s still that “what if” haunting them. They could have done more, and even years later, they blame themselves for not trying.

They each handled that loss in mirrored ways. Yasha wandered the wastes without purpose until she was conscripted by Obann to do his bidding, and the Stormlord saved her so that she could escape. Then she joined the carnival and met new people to get attached to, eventually joining the Nein with Molly, though she hasn’t yet worked through her grief nor truly broken free from Obann. Cree sort of did that backwards: she split off from the Tombtakers (per Lucien’s instruction) and wound up in Zadash with the Gentleman’s troupe, and now the Somnovem have roped her into their bidding out of desperation. Vax just tried his attempt to break her out of that, but it failed.

Neither is necessarily hopeful so much as they’re determined to continue trying in spite of their despair.

Welcome

I chose Molly’s POV for this scene for a few reasons. First, we didn’t get much of him dealing with stuff in the prior chapter, and I wanted to make it clear that his preferred method is to just not deal with things. Second, I thought Jesna Bree’s “welcome” repetition was really creepy, and I wondered (with hindsight) if perhaps Matt had really liked this tick (he’s done “welcome” a lot!) and eventually chose to use that for the Somnovem later. I wanted to see how Molly would react to that, and figured it would be interesting if Molly has a tenuous awareness of the Somnovem. Not enough to understand who or what they are, but to know that eyes are creepy. Thus, we get a scene of him avoiding any potential complications and doing his best to focus on having fun.

We also get a glimpse of how the clerics react to that. Jester’s willing to go along with it because Molly seems alright—prioritizing how he wants to present to the group and letting him choose how to handle any issues. Caduceus doesn’t pry, but he still visibly caught on that something was off, a passive aggressive nudge that maybe Molly should talk about it.

But he won’t.

Jester’s gentler attitude works though: she’s the first one to suggest Molly could do what Lucien did even though he’s not Lucien. That’s an easier pill to swallow, though learning more would involve reading.

Cobalt Soul

I timed this on the second day of Cobalt Soul studying because I figured Molly would need at least a day of anxious hesitation before he’d resolve to ask Beau if he could tag along. It’s not stated explicitly, but he did go to Caleb first, who rightly told Molly that it’s not up to him.

Of course, Beau absolutely took the opportunity to needle at Molly after he was such a little shit during the trip back to town. Other than Molly, she’s one of the youngest of the Nein, and she is not above being a little petty. But it’s not like she was that bad, honestly…

And we get some widomauk hints! Molly’s a flirt, so of course he’s going to take his shot. But with where Caleb is in his arc, it’s not going to be a linear development.

The Platinum House

Otis wasn’t as important in this chapter, but I wanted to check in on their attempts to spy on Molly. What better scene for them to observe Molly than Jester’s and Nott’s desecration of the temple to Bahamut? Molly would have so jumped at joining in on Jester’s plans. Otis is also familiar enough with Lucien’s tricks to recognize Enthrall as a Devil’s Tongue tiefling ability. However, Lucien would have probably been more practical about his use, while Molly just did it to sow chaos and give cover for the others to get away.

Thus, Otis comes away a bit confused about what’s going on when Not Lucien kind of channels Lucien’s penchant for drama and attention, then does something absolutely insane with it.

Books

This is one of my favorite scenes of the chapter, though it mostly speaks for itself. Caleb’s introspection is fun because there is so much on his mind at any given time. There’s many aspects of his guilt, neuroses, worries, and opinions to explore in any given scene, and they each color the other.

Caleb’s PTSD isn’t resolved yet. He made his save for the first time against Lorenzo’s death, but it happens a few times after that still. I figured there would be other instances that trigger such episodes beyond just frying people.

Stories About Snakes

A second scene with Molly! I wanted to include Molly’s perspective of the others’ downtime, though it would be too much to examine all of it in separate scenes. This reminiscing at bedtime seemed like an appropriate way to handle it. Plus we got to see a bit of Molly’s arrogance in thinking that the others need to lighten up since he’s clearly got this life thing figured out. Of course, that doesn’t mean the laws of physics stop working just because he thinks they should when he doesn’t want to get out of bed.

Taliesin mentioned in a Talks that Molly is functionally illiterate, which I interpreted to mean that he could read with tremendous difficulty. After all, he titled his cards, and he can be fairly eloquent at times. He’s not dumb; he’s ignorant. So I tried to reason why Molly wouldn’t be interested in reading and added that earlier the chapter, then confronted what might get him to read in this scene.

As a few guessed, this is a story by the Brothers Grimm! Their compendium has a group of 3 short stories titled “Stories About Snakes,” and this is the third of that set. I modified some of the language, but it’s mostly the same.

The Brothers Grimm had grown up in rural Germany during the time of the Napoleonic occupation. According to the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, the Zemnian Fields were conquered by the Dwendalian Empire a few hundred years back. Considering that the language still persisted in rural areas like Blumenthal, as did some cultural traditions like folk tales, I thought that incorporating Grimm fairy tales into Zemnian culture would have some good parallels.

I chose this particular story because (1) it was short, and (2) it’s relevant for a later scene. I wanted Molly to read a complete story, and this one was only a paragraph long! I figured anything longer might lose the reader’s interest. Plus it had a hilarious takeaway, and Molly would totally enjoy that.

Dream: Rhythm

The introduction is a traditional Irish blessing, a way of wishing someone well. I chose this one specifically because Lucien grew up without most of those things and this is one of few rhymes that doesn’t have a consistent meter—even though the importance of rhythms is a key takeaway of the dream. Irony!

This dream came out of the brainstorm about how a poor kid (orphan or not) would learn how to talk like Lucien did in Aeor. ‘Cause damn, he had a voice.

Matt established that the Empire didn’t have all that much in the way of public education. Zadash had the Apple Tree Tutor Village, which is available for the “less affluent” at a “moderate price,” implying that there was no such option for whomever could not afford it. Caleb had to study on his own and pass an examination to qualify for the Soltryce Academy, a rare success story. I got the sense that smaller Empire towns didn’t have institutional education available.

A self-“governing” town of about 15,000 people likely isn’t going to have any education system set up. First, Shadycreek Run was headed by 4 families competing with each other in businesses that are generally outlawed by the neighboring nations (the Empire, the Dynasty, and Uthodurn). Second, there was no government structure; the families were “in charge” in the sense that they’d murder, terrorize, or enslave whomever gets in the way. Third, if it’s not provided by a government, an education system needed to either provide a reasonable wage to entice workers or there had to be sufficient culture (charitable/communal/etc) to sustain a steady group of volunteers—and that just wasn’t the vibe of the Run from the short view we saw of it in the stream.

I’ll get into the broader worldbuilding of Shadycreek Run in its own meta post, but the short of it is that formal schools probably weren’t a thing in the Run, and what limited education was available was likely private tutors for the wealthy. So, if Lucien was a homeless orphan in Run, there’s no institution to turn to, and even if there was, he probably wouldn’t have any way to afford the cost.

Then I got to thinking: what alternatives were there? Apprenticeships have been a thing for a long time, but tradesmen would be wary of street urchins in such a place, especially if their tools or supplies were valuable. Plus, at such a young age, Lucien wouldn’t be capable of much work in trades that would be in high local demand: blacksmithing, woodworking, fletching, etc.

In addition, there’s the obvious problem that most people tend to gloss over: Lucien is a tiefling. As he said in episode 122, “Not a lot of folks are really eager and kind, especially in Shadycreek Run growing up, to those of infernal blood.” If the general Run culture was to be racist towards tieflings, well, people taking apprentices or offering work to kids were probably racist too.

That narrows down chances for education or training to basically happenstance. There’s no commonplace option for Lucien; whatever he came across would be based in theft (stealing books) or unique circumstances. Putting all that together, I landed on the conclusion that he could have learned how to read, do math, etc. either from other orphans or by buying his way through it. After all, racists might be terrible, but money talks in places like the Run. A few probably took whatever he offered and shooed him off, while others would prefer repeat payments, even if it meant dealing with a tiefling.

But that would only provide piecemeal education. Lucien very clearly liked the sound of his own voice in the stream, plus he had a relatively poetic way of speaking. However, that’s not how street urchins talk. That’s not how people spoke in the Run. He had to learn it from someone. So where did that come from?

I briefly considered whether Lucien might have encountered Gustav’s carnival when it started in the Run, but that felt too close to Molly’s story. Besides, there would have to then be a reason he didn’t leave with them, and if that happened, why would Gustav not recognize Molly later? A one off encounter wouldn’t be that memorable, but something more involved would be harder to explain away. And I doubt this was what Matt would have done, so that eventually became the dream of Gustav telling Lucien’s fortune.

I also considered whether Lucien would have first picked that up at the Claret Orders, but considering how busy they would have been with training as blood hunters and exterminating monsters, that wouldn’t leave a whole lot of time to pick up that sort of oratory training. I doubt the Orders would have formal training on such a thing. Could one of the leaders have been a bard multi class that loved to talk? Sure. But making that fit between everything else in his teenage years felt odd for pacing. We’ll explore how the Orders affected Lucien’s speech later.

Around the time I was thinking that over, I was also heavily researching Irish folklore and history. I was trying to sort out if there was anything I could borrow for this story, especially to fill in the history of the Run. At some point, I read about seanchaithe, which the English wiped out in formal roles (official historians, etc.) in the 1600s. Informal seanchaithe continued on in tradition, but there are few left today. Considering it’s now 400 years later and the English had put in significant effort to quash Irish traditions and heritage, that shows that seanchaithe were highly valued by the Irish in spite of (or perhaps even because of) that oppression. It’s a very resilient tradition, one that ordinary folk would cling to even when faced with violent retaliation. Thus, it seems like that sort of thing would still be prized in the Run, as isolated and tumultuous as it was.

Paper and parchment can be expensive to make, and demand would be pretty low in small towns, driving up the prices further. Uma Cole, the innkeeper in Berleben, had to order a book from Zadash to have something to read. Most of the bookstores in Wildemount had limited options unless they were in larger towns with sizable affluent populations. So it follows that oral traditions would probably be ingrained in many cultures in Wildemount, while written prose and poetry were not as common. If that’s the case, then it could also be normal in Shadycreek Run, though I imagine most money-minded orators probably left for better ventures (like Gustav and his carnival).

Then I had all the pieces, but needed to work out details. It wouldn’t be that weird for Lucien (or other urchins) to learn from a seanchaí, but there’s still the fact that he’s a tiefling and has little to offer. What would a storyteller, who had decided not to leave the Run, place value in? Not money, not clout, not power.

Stories!

That also made sense for the type of personality of someone who would be willing to teach a tiefling orphan: they have a love for their craft and want younger generations to carry it on, so teaching anyone willing to learn passes on that tradition. Since that skill doesn’t require any tools or costs, it’s not like they would be worse off for doing it.

Thus, I came up with Seanchaidhe, the nameless teacher that taught Lucien how to speak poetically in Gaeilge. Does he do that in Common as a child? Nope! Seanchaidhe only responded substantively to Gaeilge, so eventually he didn’t bother speaking Common to her at all. It’s not rare for kids to figure out code switching like that: speak formally to certain people, and everyone else can suck a dick. Besides, considering his circumstances, speaking formally in Common would likely make him a target for bullying or give people the impression that he’s trying to act like a foreigner instead of speaking like a local. Ophelia Mardoon could get away with that, but an orphan wouldn’t. (There are entire books on code switching and intersectionality of class and race, so I won’t get further into it here, but after living that intersection, I side-eye any writer that includes a scene where Lucien stops “faking” how he speaks…)

The last detail I needed to figure out was how Lucien would manage to learn so much without writing. He could practice drawing in dirt or mud, but he wouldn’t have anything he could keep to study except for the books he stole, and those would probably have been few and far between. I researched mnemonics and ultimately decided that rhythms would probably be the most suitable for him. It matched what he would learn (speaking rhythmically is a common tactic for orators reciting long histories and stories), and it paired well with how Matt performed as Lucien in the stream. I then added some bits with polyrhythms to show off how that can get fairly complex and account for multiple variables.

All that culminated into this dream, which explores that both Lucien and Cree speak Gaeilge and write/read Ogham, Seanchaidhe was Lucien’s teacher, how he could “afford” that sort of help, and a peek into his thought process for how he memorizes things, including Ogham, stories, and maps. He puts things to rhymes so he can use rhythms to recall complex information.

So, with that information in mind, what should readers conclude about the rhymes at the start of each of these dreams? Hmmm…

We also get to see that Lucien began training for the gold medal in mental gymnastics at a very early age. There’s an example of little kid logic about why Cree’s signature in Ogham should be gold for her eyes instead of coll for her initial and why luis is better than ruis, which also hints at the negative associations Lucien has learned about the color red. Cree’s also already fairly insightful, sorting out his motivations even with his weird arguments.

Adjusting the Cards

I chose Jester for this POV because, as shown, she ends up making her own deck. In canon, her choice to expand on Molly’s deck was partially in memoriam and a way to process grief, but this time, it’s a purely artistic venture. And, of course, that gives me more chapter titles to work with.

There’s also some exposition about Lestera, a character from Molly’s origin comic. They had a sexual relationship, but the depth of their affection wasn’t laid out as plainly. Molly inherited her coat and cards, grieved her openly, and then never mentioned her by name in the stream. Maybe Taliesin had planned to eventually and had not gotten the chance. It also seems possible that she was the “beautiful woman … in a red coat” that Kingsley mentioned after Jester cast Greater Restoration on him. So now the reader is aware of who she was to Molly, and that plants some seeds for how he’ll handle certain conflicts later.

I also wanted to toy with some of the issues that Jester and Molly would disagree over. They both much prefer lighthearted and fun conversations, but we didn’t get to see much of them butting heads in canon. Of course, they don’t actually get heated over it.

This also provides exposition about Molly’s cards. It includes all of the cards from the deck sold in the CR shop, as well as ones mentioned in the stream (The Chariot and The Serpent) that weren’t. It could be that Taliesin changed The Serpent to The Tyrant, which is the red dragon opposite of Bahamut, but Jester drew “the silver dragon” as her first card in a three card reading, and “the serpent” was the third, so that wouldn’t be possible if they were on the same card. To keep it consistent with the stream, I made them separate cards.

However, I wanted to reconcile why The Serpent & The Maiden (from the origin comic) wasn’t in Molly’s deck when that was clearly Lestera’s card. The other cards were easy to rationalize away as Molly discarding them when they were too worn or no longer relevant, but this one would have had sentimental value. So I reasoned that Molly would have buried that card with Lestera. It was against his (and her) philosophy to cling to the past, so even if he thought of remaking her card, he’d conclude that he shouldn’t. So he compromised by making The Serpent opposite of something else, then changed that to The Crown.

Lots of foundational stuff for later development.

Room Service

Other than helping Jester with her shenanigans, Nott’s downtime was pretty much solo. I didn’t want to do too much navel-gazing with her because that wasn’t the vibe Sam pursued in the episode. Thus, I had her check in with Caleb, which offered the chance to check in on her suspicions of Molly and Caleb’s research.

Nott’s opinions tended to shift like a pendulum. She’d veer off to one extreme, then suddenly shift to the other. So, as suspicious as she would be of Molly, I could see her letting up on it if she found reason to think he wasn’t actually Lucien.

At least, for now.

The Evening Nip

Fjord is intelligent, but not wise. The most eventful scene with him would be at the end of his trip, so it was perfect to make him run into Cree again. However, as mentioned in Chapter 2, I had moved some of their dialogue to an earlier encounter. So this one had some in common, as well as new stuff.

And, unlike last time, now Cree’s wise to the Nein lying to her, so she digs for info as well. She doesn’t get much, though. Both Fjord and Cree come away with some empathy for the other. Cree’s fairly insightful, so she picked up on the fact that Fjord actually is suspicious of Molly. Fjord also recognized some similarities they have, so he doesn’t fault her for her persistence.

Of course, that’s just gonna add to the coming drama. Heehee.

Regroup

Caduceus’s POV is so perfect for recaps/regroups. He catches on to a lot of stuff the others are trying to hide, like how Nott is not actually a child. While he’s also gotten more comfortable with the group and being away from home, this is still way out of his comfort zone. Even so, they’re all pretty optimistic and have recovered from the horrors of the Iron Shepherds.

We also got to see Molly show off his cards of the Nein to them directly. I do want to point out: Molly didn’t make cards of anyone at the carnival. It could be that it had never occurred to him at the carnival, or he couldn’t think of what cards to make—at least, other than Yasha. Either way, it shows that Molly kept distance a bit from people at the carnival compared to what he’s doing with the Nein. He likes them a lot, even if he doesn’t verbalize it all that much.

Legend Lore

I think this was the earliest scene I drafted for this chapter. It was fairly early on that I decided to include a scene of Cree using Legend Lore to figure out how to bring Lucien back. It was the only spell available that allowed for a longer message between Cree and the Somnovem, so it seemed appropriate for conveying how to do such a ritual.

I also needed to address why Cree doesn’t just talk to the Somnovem all the time. As discussed in a prior post, she isn’t a priestess of the Nonagon at this time because it didn’t seem sensible that she would be after Lucien had died and before he returned to life. But that introduced a new plot hole to fill: while she wouldn’t have the same type of connection that the Nonagon did, Cree was still a cleric—why not use Legend Lore more often?

The answer seemed fairly obvious after considering it a bit. Cognouza is an eldritch horror. Comprehending it is damaging, as shown by the Nein’s reaction when Lucien attempted to share what it felt like after he had merged with Cognouza. Cree would frame that differently, of course. She thought the Somnovem were gods, as Lucien had done, so she rationalized that only special people (the Nonagon) or those with special protection (psychic, Nonagon filtering) could bear the toll for speaking directly with higher beings. Naturally, that meant there had to be consequences for attempting that without such protection. I figured a hefty amount of psychic damage would be a fair deterrent.

I came up with the sensations for the psychic damage in the first draft, though I polished it with each revision. Part of it was based on the sensation of a grand mal seizure, which I was unfortunate enough to experience (don’t worry, been seizure free for a decade). However, the feeling of a seizure can be disjointed from the actual movement. Thus, Cree’s perception did not quite match up to what her body was doing during the trance. This type of seizure is incredibly exhausting and debilitating, so Cree should not have been trying to get up or do anything, but, well, healing potions are a thing in Exandria, and they heal psychic damage too, so there.

The message from the Somnovem underwent a few rewrites, but it’s mostly the same. The most pertinent change was that the original had the Somnovem’s distinct “voices” to provide a preview of how each of them would be formatted. However, if Cree wasn’t supposed to be able to communicate with them safely, it would make sense that some information would be lost along the way. The more I thought it over, I realized I also didn’t want to give that information out too soon, so it was eventually removed and I added in a narrative note on it.

Of course, when Cree got fucked up, Otis was there to help. Kind of. Otis is the worst, so they couldn’t be that helpful. Plus the reader got to see a bit more of their dynamic, which is mostly based in curiosity and complete lack of respect for each other. Otis is essentially a warlock, and Cree is a cleric. They have their similarities, but they have wildly different world views, and that affects how they treat each other.

But, despite their differences, even Otis is somewhat squeamish about undead. The oldest of the Claret Orders (ghostslayers) were all about exterminating undead, so it makes sense that even people that left the Orders would have a strong distaste for necromancy. Besides, anyone who thought necromancy was cool was likely filtered out at the initiation phase.

As a final note: there’s some formatting fuckery going on in this scene. One was that there’s 9 of each type of paragraph (narration and Somnovem dialogue). It’s not the first time a scene has been counted in sets of 9. There’s two more formatting quirks that I’m not going to elaborate on just yet (and they’ve also happened before!), but by now, the reader really should be picking up that there’s a Pattern going on.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

5/21/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

2 Samuel 22-23 and Psalm 57

Today is the 21st day of May. I'm Jill. Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. It's a brand new week around here, and that means that it's all new for the taking. There's a clean slate, brand new mercy to grab hold of, and means there's possibility. There's second chance, or a 253rd chance or a 12,098 chance to start all over again, to do it differently than we've done it before. Isn't that a great feeling? And a great promise to rest in that if we wanted to do it differently, we can. And there's no excuses that it's too late. If we have a breath and there's a brand new day, it's ours for the taking. So let's take hold of it today, shall we? Today we are reading Second Samuel, chapters 22 and 23. And then we'll jump over to Psalm and read Psalm 57. It is a brand new week here, and so that means it's a brand new translation as well. That translation that we will be in this week is The Voice two Samuel, chapters 22 and 23.

Prayer:

Father, we thank you for your word today. We thank you for this reminder of a brand new week that we have a brand new start with you. Every time we consciously choose a brand new start, it is available to us. We get a chance to make the next right step, and I am so grateful for that endless mercy that I need every day of my life. I pray that we would be consciously aware of our words, our thoughts, our deeds. This week as we encounter people that know you and love you, and we encounter people that do not yet know you nor love you. That our words would be pleasing to you. Our words would be a real life example of the love of Christ that the world needs, that we would be aware that our light that we carry lights up the very darkness that is around us. We give you this week and give you permission to do that which you choose to do in us, among us, and may it fall out of us and spill over to those in need around us. We thank you, we love you, and we look forward to this week. Of all that you would do, all that you would say, all that you would speak, we pray this now in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements:

Looking forward to a great week with all of you. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. Until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line:

Hey there. This is Expecting with Hope. I'm actually from Texas and I just asked for you guys to join me in praying for Allen, Texas. It's actually my hometown and we were actually in the area when the shooting took place last weekend and so thankfully family and friends are okay. But it breaks my heart that not everyone can say that. Yeah, if you can just join me in praying for the families that lost, loved ones and the workers that have to go back there and just their mental health, their physical health, we just pray for the mental health of our country. It's deteriorating as people don't know where to look. If you could just join me. I know that there's goodness out there and I know that it's just beautiful seeing people rally together to come around and support those who were less fortunate. So thank you DABC. I love you and I thank you all for the prayers that will be coming. Have a great day. Bye.

Hi DAB family, this is Faith Filled Mama and I'm calling to ask if you would pray for my friend Angela. She is having open heart surgery today. She has a teenage daughter and a husband and she's had health problems her whole life, a genetic disposition that she's had to deal with. And I know that this is not going to be aired for a while, but I know that your prayers are retroactive and also praying for healing and no complications and praying for her husband to come to faith and she is a believer. So I just thank you all for praying. Bless you. Bye.

Hi DABC family. This is Tiffany from New York. I'm just calling in to ask for prayer today for my sister's boyfriend Rich. He was recently diagnosed with stage four Lymphoma. It came out of nowhere and he's really young, he's only 27 years old, so this is a complete shock for them. And also he's not a believer, so if you could be praying for him to come to know the Lord even through this really horrible circumstance, that he would be given hope. Thank you all for your prayers. God bless you all.

Good morning Fam. This is the Burning Bush that will not be devoured for the glory of our God. Thank you guys. Every time I come and listen to your voice, it just brings me joy. Today I heard a lady praying for another person who called about their children. And today I'm led to call and pray for our children. Father God, I pray in the name of Jesus for the children of every individual listening today. Father God, I pray that in the name of Jesus Lord, that you will touch their hearts, whether they have a good example at home or not. Father, I pray that in the name of Jesus, you will touch them, you will reach them. Holy Spirit, I pray, O Lord, that you will fill their hearts with your presence, Father, with a knowledge of you. O God, may they love you. And God, may they know you the power of your resurrection. In the name of Jesus God, I pray that you awaken every spirit right now. In the name of Jesus, everyone that is called according to your name. Father, I pray that you awaken our hearts, revive our hearts, O Lord, that our hearts will burn for you.

Father, that in the name of Jesus, that we will be awake and aware of where we are in society today. And Father God, that your word and prophecies will come to pass. And Father, help us so God, to be on the obedient part of Your prophecies, Father, that we will be your hands and feet. God, I pray that these children will stand firm regardless of what they have to face, regardless of the swimming against the tides, father, the waves. I mean, Father God, I just pray that the currents of this world will not push us back away from what we know and who we know you to be. So in the name of Jesus, God, I praise you for healing in our hearts, healing in our spirits, that we will walk in the spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh. And I pray that for our children, Father, for all our children, that, God, they will get to know you and they will walk in the spirit and not fulfill the loss of this flesh and out. They will be lights and carriers of Your presence. All this I pray in the name of Jesus. Father, I thank you and praise you. You be glorified in Jesus.

[reginrokkr]

𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈. Loss of faith and purpose. First glimpse of the luminous destiny in darkest times.

Divine’s wrath begot the loss of faith in another divine entity —albeit innocent in the making of Calamity’s despair in Khaenri’ah— and the loss of logical thinking when emotions plagued Dáinsleif’s mind. Such was his case as a devout to Irminsul since times of glory in the kingdom when he acted as a oracle-priest figure meant to spread words of comfort that Khaenri’ahn citizens would live another year without fear that the gods may descend on their kingdom to wreck havoc. Since years of childhood that were taken away from him when memory loss was applied by the celestial gods, Irminsul and him developed an unbreakable bond that no matter how frail it could be, it would linger always.

Since always, Irminsul was a source of comfort as it was of knowledge, a source of strength as it was to a sentience unlikely to be harbored by humans or even celestial beings. It is by Irminsul’s mercy that his consciousness and self-awareness would last intact several centuries later despite the divine curse he carries, as it is by the divine tree’s mercy to bestow him all the information at the tips of his fingers and elemental flow of its roots.

However, the weight of losses and powerlessness, the curse and the cruelty of this world, the transformation of humans innocent and guilty alike into hilichurls and monsters of the Abyss were heavier on Dáinsleif— his guilt undying. So much his otherwise logical mind was clouded that in the initial stages of his journey across Teyvat, he attempted many times against his life all in pursuit of a way to rid himself of the curse to no avail, suffering aches and pains that no living human would desire until reaching points of serious physical and mental issues— for such is the curse that seeks to replace one’s consciousness but also to corrupt and precipitate the curse’s host life to death with the impossibility to pass away. So he claims: attempting to rid oneself of the curse is akin to a process of burning an integral part of oneself that no soul can hope to survive.

His arrival to Sumeru supposed a miracle in his completely dark life at the time. Through its chosen divine avatar did Irminsul reach out to Dáinsleif. Greater Lord Rhukkadevata, despite her frail condition and about to pass away, understood Irminsul’s might and so she had the intention to abide to it: always looking for the best interests of the world, to keep such a strong bond with Irminsul on the right track lest it becomes Teyvat’s worse enemy precisely because of such connection. Her will to help, regardless, was earnest and genuine at heart still. For not anyone is chosen by Irminsul and she herself, as the God of Wisdom, knows as much. It is in this moment that he was invoked in her realm of consciousness during her last moments of life to show him the way in the tunnel towards the light at its end, to give him a purpose to be.

Despite his affiliation to Khaenri’ah, his was an untainted soul, kind at its very core and willing to help others so they won’t have to suffer the same fate as Khaenri’ah’s people did. She could see it through him at a single glance based on his experiences since the beginning of his journey up to Sumeru. So she pointed out to him, made him realize that despite being plagued with doubt and guilt and remorse, he’s still as kind as ever. There is still something he can do if so he wishes: to follow his innermost wish for humans— to veil for their security and potential.

It is thanks to this moment that his faith in Irminsul was restored, as the first seed of hope was planted firmly in the soil it so sustains with its might. Any doubts and remorse he had for defeating abyssal creatures —be it Gold’s creations or people he once protected— or Khaenri’ahn artillery alike start to fade away to let conviction settle in instead. All this time, he had the answer: to not permit other humans, innocent to everything that happened despite the ill thoughts of many of the Khaenri’ahn citizens that followed King Irmin’s poisoned will, find ruination. This Black Cataclysm could be their very end, and so gradually he begins to be firmer in his actions and regain at a slow pace the logical mind he’s characteristic for having. To his sadness, this would eventually be a reason of discord between Lumine and him.

Ever since, he has an immense gratitude for Irminsul anew, but also for Greater Lord Rhukkadevata and the now Lesser Lord Kusanali, whom he deeply respects despite his hesitation to be too close to divine beings, being cognizant of everything they can encompass as part of their nature. Nonetheless, as per their unique connection to Irminsul, both of them hold a connection too hard to be overseen. And to Dáinsleif’s gladness, both of them see the world as a bigger picture: only by protecting Irminsul and maintain it in good health will they succeed.

[twstmemories]

hiii headcanons for octavinelle pls in a relationship with an angel reader fem! (very faithful to god, she even prays before meals and ended up working in the restaurant because she needed money) that would be all, have a nice day ;))

-- ! i'm sorry that this is shorter than the rest, i'm not the most religious person so do be aware that most of these are once again my headcanons based on the characters themselves-

✧ Octavinelle trio with a faithful reader

✧ female!reader

✧ content warning: mentions of corruption (for the leech twins)

✧ Doesn't really question it. He's aware that land dwellers have their own faiths. In a way Night Raven College is consistent of people who look up to legends themselves, that must in a way be the same thing, no? (￣︿￣)

✧ However, he does wonder why you come to work for Mostro Lounge, knowing whatever deeds he had done in the past. While he does pay adequately with how you work, he assumed that your beliefs went against this whole business in a whole.

✧ As such tries to at least shield you away from most business talks that somehow take place in the actual lounge and not the VIP room, ushering either one of the Leech twins over to grab your attention while he talks with the client before him. (¯▿¯)

✧ In short, while Azul would be confused for exactly why someone as faithful as you would stick to someone as close to him on the daily he does appreciate the help and your efficiency. Which is why he lets you do exactly that, anything else shady that happens to come across octavinelle or come to him he tries to shield you away from.

✧ Half curious, half urge to somewhat corrupt that mindset of yours. He's lived under the sea for a long time, light doesn't reach at the bottom, he doesn't see the sky or whatever being you were so faithful to. So he's incredibly curious about your innocence, the same way he also wants to slowly crumble it. (´-ω-`)

✧ But the latter part is truly hidden behind polite smiles and genuine offers to help whenever you come in to do some more work to get some more money. However, he does keep an eye out for you. Your habits, the certain unique actions you do that he believes is related to your faithfulness. ┐(︶▽︶)┌

✧ And while he could care less, he does ask out of curiosity. Jade is more curious than anything, if there is something that piques it, he will ask or do something to quench that curiosity. And when you answer so honestly and tell him everything he wants to know, the hidden urge to see you crumble and lose that sparkle in your eyes.

✧ While Jade will be just as polite as Azul, unlike the dorm leader he would have to significantly try to suppress the urge to break you down. Choosing to rather stay at a distance and observe your behaviour, maybe one day when you two are closer enough perhaps?

✧ Shows that interest to want to somewhat make you see reality and corrupt your mindset more than Jade. He finds you interesting after all, how did someone like you who seems to radiate the good and nice energy land here? In Night Raven college, at Octavinelle in Mostro Lounge? The dorm where contracts and frauds almost go hand in hand. How did you end up here, and not in Royal sword academy? (￢ ￢)

✧ That must almost mean you have some sort of trait within you that resonates way more with the dark mirror that you accepted here. A trait that somehow surpasses your faithfulness to God which landed you right in the middle of a prideful and egoistical school like this. It's a trait that Floyd wants to discover, by all means necessary.

✧ So he sticks close to you, and from an outside perspective it just seems like he's really taken a liking to you, the same way he's done to for example: Riddle. But unlike Riddle, his mood switch doesn't go on and off. It almost sees like his mood is always up when he's with you. And while Azul isn't sure if it's your personality in general that's making him happier, Jade is pretty sure he knows the reason as to why Floyd seems to be in such a good mood.

✧ Whereas Azul will politely not question anything and compared to Jade's secrecy, Floyd will wholeheartedly try to get closer to you and stick close to you to find more about you. You've piqued his interest after all! Now the question is how long will it take before he either finds more about your or gets tired of trying. ☆⌒(≧▽​° )

[flickeringart]

Planets in the 8th House

Like all the watery houses, the 8th house is mysterious and potent, yet it’s difficult to fully get a grasp of. The area of life that this house represents are usually summarized by worn out key words; death, transformation, regeneration, rebirth, sex, shared finances, the occult, hidden complexes, power struggles, trauma, crisis and the list goes on… from these words one gathers that the 8th is not a light-hearted sphere of life – it signifies struggle and emotional intensity. Having planets in the 8th, strong Pluto or Scorpio influence usually revolves around the same themes – paranoia, the striving for control and a tendency to keep things private and buried in order to sustain power.

I’m not going to discuss the difference of having strong Scorpio-Pluto placements vs. having planets in the 8th house in this post, but since the sign, planet and house are linked and are symbolic of the same themes, there’s a lot of overlap that is to be expected.

A person with planet(s) in the 8th will not act out the planetary principles consciously. Usually, the energy is felt through their aura, quiet but evident, as if the planet makes its presence known without revealing itself. For example, someone with Venus in the 8th might not openly declare affection and love, except in the most intimate of settings, but it’s unquestionably there. Picture the goddess of love living within a person as a body of water. She is there, but she is slippery and unable to manifest through conscious expression in daily life. The reason for planets in the 8th house “hiding” usually has something to do with fear of losing control, of exposing something taboo and risky that could have dire consequences.  We see this phenomenon in movies all the time – a person isn’t conscious of the fact the he or she is in love with a person but it’s obvious to everyone else – this would be typical of Venus in the 8th. One doesn’t dare to express it because it would alter the way of things, it would violate the sense of self-control and expose one’s vulnerability. Pain accompanies planets in the 8th, however benefic, because they impose themselves on the person and puts everything on the line. It’s a little bit like opening Pandora’s box – one can never go back to how things were before one fell in love, yet one resists the power with which one is pulled into a relationship. Even Venus and Jupiter, the most “positive” planets are operating in a way that makes the person feel out of control. Sure, it’s probably more positive to be invaded by love and abundance than anything else, but it can still be shocking and fearful to a person that doesn’t want to acknowledge the autonomy of the planet and has put up rigid defenses against it, only to have them be shattered. In the case of Venus in the 8th, personal love and affection is very private and usually has some kind of trauma or complex tied up with it. Looking at astrotheme’s database of people with Venus in the 8th , Miley Cyrus pops up at the top of the page with this placement. In some of her more personal songs, lyrics hint to her being afraid of love and intimacy. Even in her famous song “Wrecking Ball” she sings about falling under love’s spell and slowly seeing a relationship turn to “ashes on the ground”. If this isn’t typical symbolism of transformation through love I don’t know what is.

With the Moon in the 8th house, the person doesn’t openly express emotion – the emotions erupt volcanically from time to time, and it’s very uncomfortable for the person because there’s a feeling of being exposed and threatened that accompanies this release. Because of the fear that is tied up with emotion, the person might show dislike and defensiveness when faced with other people’s emotional expressions and needs. Sigmund Freud had his Moon in the 8th, which is very telling. He was obviously interested in uncovering the complexes behind certain reactions, presumably because he didn’t feel himself to be in control of his own emotions and inner life. He was certainly motivated to transform and free himself and his clients of the tight grip of the unconscious patterns of the 8th house. He explored the underlying mechanisms of repression, formulated the Oedipus complex and postulated the existence of libido – sexual energy with which the mental processes are invested. The Moon’s placement in the 8th would point to deeply rooted emotional and possibly sexual ties with the mother. The Oedipus complex is after all a desire for sexual involvement with the opposite sex and the presence of repressed incestuous instincts. Freud noted that he had wanted to marry his mother as a child to rival with the father and understood that it must be a universal principle among all boys in all cultures. This has not been thoroughly empirically proven, but it’s certainly reveals something about Freud’s own psychology. In any case with Moon in the 8th, the emotional and instinctual nature is accompanied with a sense of it being taboo and shameful. The emotional nature is experienced to be powerful beyond personal control.

Mercury in the 8th is a another story. Mercury is the planet of communication, thinking and deductive reasoning. When looking up people with this placement, it seems to me that it is common among people who speak up about uncomfortable topics, that which would be considered “risky business” to talk about. Prince Harry has this placement and he has been very open recently about his mental health struggles. Emma Watson has this placement and she has been an advocate for feminism and equality – preaching and advocating strongly with emotional investment when giving the famous UN speech in 2014. Lana Del Rey has this placement and she writes lyrics based on her own personal experiences, not shying away from dark topics like death, heartbreak, destructive and passionate relationships. It seems as if Mercury in this house gives the person a propensity for talking and thinking about that which in uncomfortable, for revealing difficult power-imbalances and dynamics taking place within the psyche. There’s usually a feeling of being cautious of what one reveals, of sitting on information that holds emotional power and that involves other people. With any planet in this house there’s a strong impulse to be aware of other people, in case of Mercury it’s what other people know and don’t know, what they say and don’t say. Mercury in the 8th might be indicative of a person who is controlled by what other people say and feels at the mercy of other people’s opinions – positively and negatively. The narratives and stories of other people might merge with the person on a deep level and fuel one’s own opinions. One might be exposed to challenging, discriminative and harmful opinions, even indoctrinated in them. When speaking one’s mind, one might have to summon a lot of bravery because more than likely there’s a bit of a chokehold that is being felt and effort that is required to break free from deeply instilled thought patterns. This placement could be indicative of a person that likes to think and communicate about deep and taboo topics, reveal and keep secrets.

With Mars in the 8th, one simple interpretation would be “someone who is prone to experience physical violence in intimate relationships”. Either one is the victim of it or the perpetrator, perhaps even a bystander or a protector. The violence, albeit linked to physical action, might just manifest in the form of acting without another’s best interest in mind. There’s usually a sense of being at the mercy of other people’s actions with this placement, but also of having no conscious control over one’s own motivations for doing things, one’s own drive to make things happen. Princess Diana had this placement, conjunct Pluto-Uranus, and she was far from feeling in absolute control of her direction in life. With Pluto-Mars the drive is buried and tied up with the primal survival instinct and latent rage. Her relationship with Prince Charles was anything but smooth and she felt like a victim to greater forces (Pluto-Uranus) making her act in a way that was, most certainly, driven by emotional complexes and not out of conscious will. She also behaved in a way with her compulsive eating and independent streak that was not favorably looked upon. J.F. Kennedy also had this placement, he too had difficulties on the relationship front, mostly because he had a compulsive sexual drive and had a lot of extramarital affairs. This is typical of Mars in the 8th being tied up with emotional complexes – he couldn’t stick to his wife; he had to prove himself and his masculinity through conquering women (he has Jupiter conjunct his Mars and we all know how faithful Jupiter was in mythology). His sexual appetite caused moral problems among the Secret Service agents who were employed to smuggle women in and out of the White House. His behavior was altogether inappropriate but somehow he survived politically as it was kept in the shadows. Diana certainly had her own extramarital affairs as well, perhaps to revenge Charles for his strong tie with Camilla and subsequent declining interest in their marriage. Mars in the 8th is undoubtedly indicative of action taken out of the need to retain emotional integrity, sometimes with unfavorable consequences. Notably, both Diana and J.F. Kennedy died suddenly, Diana in a car accident and J.F. Kennedy through assassination by a bullet. The 8th house is the house of death, and Mars here usually indicates a violent and sudden strike of “fate”.

Last but not least, let’s take a look at the Sun in the 8th house. The same people who shows up when searching for Mercury, Mars and even Venus, also have the Sun in this house; J.F. Kennedy, Lana Del Rey, Emma Watson and Prince Harry, which is not surprising considering that the inner planets never stray too far from the Sun. The Sun represents the ego, the sense of self-knowledge and self-awareness. The Sun is representative of the conscious center of the personality. This suggests that the people with this placement are painfully aware of death and violation, of the destructive nature of reality. While the Moon in the 8th might indicate that emotional reactions or lack thereof stem from deep seated autonomous complexes rooted in survival, the Sun might indicate a sense of self and self-expression that stems from the difficulties and hardships one has gone through. This placement can be understood in the sentiment “who am I without my trauma?”. There’s the tendency to identify with the ordeals of one’s life and how one overcame them (or didn’t). This dynamic is evident in all the people listed at the top of this paragraph. Prince Harry being a very obvious one that people make fun of nowadays – he’s coming out as a survivor of past down ancestral trauma, attempting to work through and shine a light on his personal struggles growing up within the Royal Family, attempting to separate himself from the curses of unconscious programming. Lana Del Rey certainly enjoys identifying and expressing the darker side of herself, illuminating the theme of death and emotional hardship in her songs. Emma Watson also seems to identify with the hurt and injustice present in the world and is a spokesperson for collective movements (Sun in the 8th, Leo in the 11th). J.F. Kennedy has the same Sun –Leo house setup as Emma, channeling his experience of personal hardships into his career and public life. In a sense, people who want to appeal to the masses and make a change on a large scale must be personally invested enough to fuel the movement. In the case of the 8th house being involved with Kennedy and Watson, they might feel as if their sense of self is dictated by other people’s values or that they would have to fight to remain in control of their sense of self. As the Sun relates to the father, the father figure might’ve been quite controlling, demanding and dominant. If the Moon in the 8thsays something about a mother complex, the Sun in the 8thdefinitely says something about a father complex.

[justyoursimpleflower]

Gorgeous

Pairing- James Potter x werewolf!Lupin!female!reader. (That's a mouthful)

Summary:- reader has a tiny bit of crush on school's golden boy and she finds him very gorgeous but she can't say anything to his face.

Word count:- 4.3k (damn)

Warning:- mentions of scars, alcohol, insecurities. (I think this is but inform me if any other) also lets pretend James has ocean blue eyes.

A/N:- so here it is the one shot promised based on the song Gorgeous, I wanted to make something silly kind of but it turned out different than that but alright. It is based on the song called gorgeous by Taylor Swift but I changed something. If you find any errors please inform me. Enjoy read! And thanks to @ultarviolence for actually suggesting to with whom the oneshot be. Credits for the pictures goes to their rightful owners, I only own the collage. Tiny bit of wolfstar too. Also a reblog will be helpful.👉👈

Masterlist

Petrichor. The earthy smell filled your heightened senses as you felt him coming near you. As much as it intimidated you, it was bliss, somehow it relaxed you. But maybe even in that bliss you were aware how he affected you. Your back still towards him you started walking away from him, everyone was congratulating him on quidditch pitch after his marvellous performance against Slytherin, and here you were walking away from him.

You told Remus that you rather snuggle in your blankets and relax before the full moon but he was stubborn, just like you, and dragged you to quidditch pitch. It was even alright till you had to sit in the rain and watch the match but it all blew up when he saw you sitting in the stands, still on his broom he caught your eye and winked at you, causing a rush a shiver to run down your spine and feel the gross butterflies (it's not like you were looking for him all around the pitch). Alright maybe you were. But that doesn't mean it meant something.

Actually it meant everything. He was gorgeous, more than beautiful. He was breathtaking.

You almost were out of the pitch when a hand wrapped around your scarred one and you internally groaned. Turning around and coming face to face with your worst fear.

He looked at you with those freaking ocean blue eyes. Inhaling deep breath, you stared back at him, directly in his eyes.

You didn't know if he was intimidated by your glare or just trying not to laugh at your cowardice, when his throat bobbed when he gulped.

He released a airy laugh and said,

"Won't you congratulate me for my amazing performance?" He tilted his head, acting innocent. And honestly, he was looking adorable.

Shut up.

'All I want to say is that you are gorgeous.'

"Your ego is big enough without me inflating it." Your words betraying your thoughts. It did nothing to him but made him smirk a little more.

You rolled your eyes and turned around and started walking away.

"At least come to the party!" His voice bounced and reached you.

Merlin, why he is so gorgeous.

You internally groaned as you felt Lily shaking your shoulders.

"Female Lupin, if you don't get up right now, I am going to get male Lupin and make you have a good conversation with him."

"But Lils!" You whined. You had no intention in going to that ruddy party, where James bloody Potter would be.

She sighed and sat down next to a lying figure on the bed. She started running her hands in your hair, humming softly.

You looked at her. Actually looked at her. What was there not to like? She was perfect in studies, had the most magical eyes, the softest hair and kindest heart. On the other hand you were nothing like her.

You were a monster.

Each full moon, you hunted for lives, each full moon, you became a monster.

But no one knew that, except a handful of people. And unluckily, he too knew that. What phased you more was that he was ready to take a risk upon his life by being with you and your brother in those dark nights where you both lose yourselves to your inner monsters.

You always felt comfort in thinking that it was all for Remus, you just got to be a part of it due to you having no other place than the Shack. Who knows that if it hadn't been because of your condition, he would have noticed that you existed?

You were shaken out of your thoughts when you heard a loud bang on the door. Lily looked at you in confusion but gave you a look when found you doing the same to her. She got up and opened the door and found Marlene smiling giddily at both of you.

"What are you two doing here?" She exclaimed.

"The party has started!" She exclaimed and now did you notice that her words were slurred.

At least there is alcohol.

"Marlene...the party just started and you are drunk." Lily said with sigh, disappointment evident on her face.

Marlene just grinned, flipped her hair and started descending the stairs whilst saying something along the line,

"It's just the starter."

Lily turned towards you and opened her mouth to say something but we're stopped by the sudden thumping sound that came from the stairs. You got up quickly from your bed and looked downwards with Lily on your side.

On the stairs, Marlene was laying face on the top most stairs, her hair sprawled on the floor just outside your dormitory.

A gasp left Lily's lips and she crouched down to look at your friend, while you were trying your best to stop the laugh that was about to leave your lips. You too crouched down to her level but before you could say anything Marlene suddenly jumped and sat with her legs crossed, facing you both.

Lily gasped and your eyes went wide with shock but when you both looked at Marlene, she was just giving you both a cheeky smile.

"Merlin, women! Thought you were possessed for a moment!" You exclaimed with a hand on your chest.

You got no reaction from her, instead she just stood up and pulled you both too in a standing position.

"I forgot that I was bribed to drag both of your arses downstairs."

You squint your eyes and raising a brow you said,

"Who bribed you?"

Her face light up and smiling widely, she threw her hands in the air and exclaimed,

"Pames Jotter!"

Lily smacked her hand on her forehead, you winced just thinking how painful it would have been, assuming by the sound.

You heard Marlene's giggles and turned towards her.

"Get it? Pames Jotter is James Potter!" She giggled harder and smiled widely.

You visibly shivered at the name. You eyed the blonde in front of you and started thinking of all the things that you could use to convince her and let you go.

You slowly approached the opportunity,

"Marlene..."

Marlene who had broken into a dance, swaying Lily with her stopped abruptly and looked at you. All humor was wiped away from her face.

You sighed then looked at her,

"You are not drunk, are you?"

She turned towards you and smiled sheepishly,

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"You are forgetting that I am the twin of Remus Lupin. We notice small things."

Marlene sighed and looked to be contemplating something before breaking the facade.

"Yeah, alright, I was acting." Lily hit her arm as soon as the words left her mouth and Marlene grumbled about how she was kind of pissed off by the Lupin siblings in a not so respectful way.

"Why?" You whined to Marlene.

She rolled her eyes and said,

"Because I know that you were not going to come unless practically dragged down.

"So?"

"So? So? Just because you have a crush on the school's golden boy doesn't mean that you should rot in the dorm when everyone else is having a swing."

You felt flustered about how obvious were your feelings for him, you opened your mouth to retort but you couldn't find a better reason. Afterall, it was the reason you refused to be down at the party. You sighed and tried to ignore your friends' pitying faces.

"Okay, let's do this, we go to the party, have the time of your life, whilst we find something that you don't have to interact with him."

"And how we do this?" You raised an eyebrow, seriously questioning your friend's mind,

"I mean, how are we going to do this? He was the one who organised the party."

Marlene let a smirk form on her face and said,

"Technically, the party was organised because of him, not by him."

"Yeah, and that helps a lot." Lily rolled her eyes.

"You don't get it Lils! We are going to be so drunk and stay as far as possible from him."

You clapped your hands and said,

"Yes! We will get drunk and stay in our dorms! Go Marls, bring some drinks!"

Marlene rolled her eyes and took a threatening step towards you.

"Okay, enough, now you are going to get ready or I am dragging you just like this."

You opened your mouth to say something but,

"Nope! No, no more whining!" She cut you off.

She then clapped her hands and said,

"Alright, both of you get ready, I'll see you downstairs!"

She smiled and kissed your cheek before descending down the stairs.

You looked at Lily and sighed. When you saw her smirking you gave her a dry look and finally accepted your faith.

"Alright, girl, slow down." Remus said from your side, where he had been standing and rubbing your back for the past fifteen minutes.

After you came to the party, you were convinced that Lily and Marlene were not going to leave your side. But who were you kidding? They left you ten minutes in the party, saying that you need to live up and actually let James have his way with you.

You almost scoffed at the thought. James wanted nothing but to tease you by just assuming you fancied him. Only if he knew how true that was.

You were about to take a sip from your cup when it was snatched away from your hand,

"Hey!" You hit Remus on his arm for it but he did nothing other than shrug.

"You almost had enough to last you a lifetime."

When he saw your sour expression he sighed,

"Listen, I don't have any problem with how much you drink. If I am being honest, I love it when you get drunk, you spill all your secrets but I don't want you to grumble when you have the baddest hangover."

You gave him an odd look with your arms folded over your chest, you said,

"I don't tell any secrets when I'm drunk."

"Oh you so do."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Tell me about one."

"You got the biggest crush on James."

You opened your mouth to counter his remark but your words died in your throat. Swallowing hard you whispered,

"I didn't…"

A smirk formed on his lips,

"You did."

You held your head in your hands and propped your elbows on the drink table near. You wanted to have the time of your life and here you were, finding out that you told your brother about your crush on his friend.

"You don't have any problem with it?" You mumbled with your head still in your hands.

Remus saw your sour expression and pulled your arm lightly and said,

"Hey, don't be sad now."

"Yeah, my brother found out that I have a crush on one of his best mates is not concerning."

"If it makes you feel better, I think he likes you too."

You gave him a dry look and took one more cup and gulped it in a single sip. The liquid burned your throat but atleast it was good enough to lighten the pressure on your head.

"Have you heard the way he talks?" You asked Remus who raised an eyebrow, clearly finding amusement in your condition. You gave him an annoyed look and continued,

"He talks like he knows all about everything. 'At Least come to the party', bloody buffoon. He–he knew that I would react this way and still! His voice is like the clawing of nails on iron. It gives me headache!" You looked at Remus who still had an annoying smile on his face,

"Why are you smiling?" You asked him annoyed.

"Why don't you say this to his face? Maybe he will go away" He suggested and you thought about this, maybe he was right. You found him looking behind you, you followed his eyesight and you frown deepened. Another glass down.

In front of you was James Potter goofing around with his best mate Sirius Black when other people were gawking at their sights.

"Doesn't he feel scared about how much people are attracted to him?" You mumbled to yourself but Remus heard you anyway and chuckled. You turned and glared at him.

"Honestly, why don't you just say all this to him? You know, it would be better." He said.

"You wait Remus Lupin till I find out about the person you like, then we will see." You turned towards the table again only to find the person you were not so subtly judging only to find him gone from there. Frowning, you raise your cup back to your lips and empty its contents in your throat. A shiver ran down your spine as the liquid burned your insides. You were starting to feel the outputs of the alcohol inside your system, your head started feeling dizzy and it felt really light. You turned around to find Remus surrounded by the Marauders this time and one of them was looking at you, he was looking at you.

Sirius draped his arm around your shoulder, breaking you out of the trance. You stumbled a bit as the alcohol in your system started taking a toll on you.

"Where's your boyfriend Y/N?" He asked you in mock concern.

You rolled your eyes but it did nothing other than increase the slowly growing headache you had.

A chuckle passed James's lips making you look at him, and unfortunately (or fortunately) he looked at you at the same time. You quickly diverted your eyes and shoved Sirius's arm from around you.

"Very funny, Black."

He grinned at you whereas you were slowly getting more and more dizzy.

"He still looks so scared whenever he looks at James."

You tried to hide your smile but it slipped anyway. Maybe you didn't know but your smile made James grin.

"Wait, why is he scared of James?" Remus asked suddenly. Your eyes widened at his words.

Oh shoot he didn't know.

It seemed like they too realised their mistake. They started stumbling over their words and you knew it was all on you.

"Where is Peter?" You asked, trying your best to change the topic.

Remus gave you a curious look but didn't question further.

"Er—Remus, come dance with me, won't you?" Sirius offered his arm to Remus, his nervous expression fading into a wide smirk. His words caused a blush to tint on Remus' cheeks and a small smile to form on his lips.

"Sure." And with that, they both left your drunk self with a very sober looking James Potter.

"Um–I think Marlene was calling me, I am going." You were about to walk away before he caught you by arm and pulled you back. You stumbled a bit, clearly due to intoxicating alcohol, or was it because of him.

"You never spend time with me." He pouted looking at you with those ocean blue eyes.

You were in such a daze that you didn't even react to his words. One reason was that now you were completely intoxicated and the other was that it was him.

"Well...you should take it as a compliment that I talk to everyone but you."

He was about to reply when suddenly darkness spread across the room. Shouts and protests rang out in the room, all increasing your headache.

Your hands frantically searched for something to hold on, when a bigger hand enveloped yours in it. It took time but your eyes adjusted in the darkness and you could lightly make out the face of the person holding your hand. Suddenly all the voices seemed to dim, suddenly the darkness was enough for you, suddenly you felt calm. Your stomach was churning but you were damn sure it wasn't the firewhisky.

You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in the darkened room.

He pulled you closer to him by his grip on your hand. He wrapped his other arm around your shoulder and instinctively your head leaned on his shoulder.

You felt his breath hitch but you chose not to say anything.

"Someone was informed that McGonagall was on round, the candles will be lit again soon." He almost whispered to you. And just then the candles were lit again.

James expected you to draw away from him as soon as the candles were lit again but you didn't move from your position. Still wrapped around his side.

And he was definitely not complaining.

"James...dance with me?" You asked, lifting your head from his shoulder. You looked so innocent and adorable that he couldn't deny your face.

Or because of the fact that he was never in a lifetime going to lose this opportunity.

"Okay."

And just like that you both started to sway along the rhythm, so lost in your world that no one else existed for you two.

"You know what, you always scared me." He admitted, making you giggle.

"Why?" You asked, your head on his chest as he guided you both in a swaying way.

"First, you are Remus's sister, second, you are damn good with your tongue." It took him a while to understand what he said but till you were in a giggling fit. You were laughing so hard that you had to hold him so you wouldn't fall.

"Wait—wait, I didn't mean it like that!" He exclaimed, his hand wrapped around yours which was holding his shoulder. But you couldn't stop laughing, and that resulted in you missing the smile on his face.

When you finally stopped, you looked up to find him waving to someone. Following his gaze, you found a beautiful brunette from Ravenclaw giggling and waving at him.

Something inside you bubbled, whether it was the alcohol in your system or you were actually being brave that time, you nudged his arm and made him look at you.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

His eyes widened at your words, he whipped his head between you and that girl before shaking it violently.

"Merlin, no! She's actually the daughter of one of Mum's friends."

"Oh."

James looked at you and the way your shoulders visibly relaxed at words and your head went between his shoulder and neck, resting there.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm single."

You again, moved your head from his shoulder and this time he found an adorable pout on your lips.

"It doesn't." You said. He raised an eyebrow and said,

"It doesn't?" And you shook your head.

"It's worse actually, because you are so gorgeous that it hurts."

Your eyes fixed at his face, and even intoxicated, you were able to appreciate his beauty. He was gorgeous in every way, he was a good person, he had an aura around him that made everyone around him happy, one of the reasons you hated him, he was beautiful. He was gorgeous. And his eyes, his eyes were enough to make you feel like, sinking, drowning, dying.

"Don't I make you feel happy?"

"You make me feel so happy that it turns back to sadness," your bottom lip jutting out.

"There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have, and you why? Because all my life, I lost so many things that I don't want to hope for what I can't have. And I'm so furious at you for making me feel like this."

James moved his hand and rested it on your cheek, making you look at him, he chuckled.

"It's not funny." You said, removing his hand from your cheek. Again resting on your head on his shoulder.

James kept swaying you both, still processing everything that had happened in such a less amount of time. He was slowly feeling you relax around him, the whole night taking a toll on you.

"Hey, honey, you can't sleep like that." He said lowly to you. When you didn't budge, he nudged your head from his shoulder,

"Don't sleep like that." He said, making a frown take over your lips.

"I'm not asleep, my mind is alive." You grumbled in a sleepy voice. You felt his shoulder shake from the soft laugh escaping his lips, making you look up at him.

James could see the exhaustion and sleep in your eyes and decided that it was about time, you both called it a night.

"Alright, I think it's time you leave."

A frown formed on your lips, removing any traces of the sleepy face that you had. A dramatic sigh left your lips, you said,

"Guess, I have to stumble home to my cats. Alone."

"Y/N, you don't have any cat, and you just need to go to your dorm." James said, too used to these kinds of antics, all because of a certain Gryffindor.

You pouted, moving yourself to hug him and resting your head again on his shoulder.

"But, Remus always takes me with him, whenever I'm drunk."

"Yeah, but I'm not Remus, and he might actually murder me for doing so."

You looked up at him, trying your best to do puppy-dog eyes. Your idea seemed to work as he sighed in defeat.

"Alright, but if Remus kills me in the morning, it will be your fault."

It took time but you both finally reached the Marauders dorm, and there was only one person there. Peter, and he too was sleeping.

James took you and made you sit on one of the beds in the corner. He was still standing over you, looking quite flustered. You ran a hand on the messy bed sheet and looked up at him again to find him filling a glass with water.

"Is this Remus's bed?" You asked.

"Yeah." He said before handing you the glass of water, which you quickly downed and handed him the glass back.

James crouched in front of you and started removing your footwears. You ran a hand through his dark curls and giggled when they got messier than before.

When he was done, he looked up at you, still sitting in the same position, he asked,

"You can sleep here now, Remus will manage, or at least Sirius would be happy to share his bed."

You pouted again at his words, making him frown a bit.

"What happened now?"

"You won't kiss me?" Your question took him by surprise. He didn't expect you to say that.

"What do you mean?"

You tilted your head at side and said,

"You don't like me?" Your voice was small, making him feel bad.

"Is it because of my scars?" Your eyes were slowly filling with tears making James panic. He jumped up and sat beside you, and quickly took your face between his hands. You were slowly sniffing till then, making his heart hurt.

"No darling, why would you think that?"

"My previous boyfriend left me because of that, didn't he?"

James pursued his lips at the thought of your previous boyfriend, remembering how heartbroken you looked that day.

"It's not because of that, love. It's because you are drunk." You scrunched your nose at his words and said,

"Did you just quote those stupid clichè books?"

He raised an eyebrow and said,

"I do remember you loving those cliche books."

"But, I want you to kiss me now." You said while your lower lip jutting out.

"How about, I kiss you in the morning?" He said with a hopeful look on his face.

You whined at his words,

"But James, I am sober enough to remember this."

He sighed in defeat knowing how bad it can get. After a while he said,

"Okay, so I will give you a peck on your forehead right now, then in the morning, I will actually kiss you?" That seemed to work and you quickly agreed. So that night James kissed your forehead and made you fall asleep. And still in your sleepy form, you actually told him how you felt for him,

"You are so gorgeous James."

Bonus:-

When you woke up the next day, you found yourself reliving all those things you did the night before and it certainly didn't help with your headache. You got up from the bed, trying your best to escape before things could get more awkward.

You almost reached the door when someone said your name,

"Y/N?"

You cringed, totally aware of the person to whom the voice belonged.

You turned around and came face to face with your worst fear. You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off,

"Don't worry, everyone is downstairs. You were sleeping, so I thought it would be better to leave you. I didn't want you to commit an arson as soon as you woke, I have seen the way Moony gets if you wake him up early."

Suddenly there was an awkward silence settled between you two as there was nothing else to say. You clutched your head to stop the throbbing pain in your head.

James noticed this and made you sit on his bed. When you did, he took the spot beside you and handed you a vial. You looked at him confused, the he explained,

"Hangover potion, er—we kind of need it really often." He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. You tried to stop the smile forming on your face and drank the potion.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice soft, full of warmth. You hummed, your heart beating wildly in your chest.

"Did you mean everything you said last night?"

You turned to face him, only then realising how close you two were. You started feeling lost again in his eyes, so you just hummed.

"Even about the kiss?" He whispered.

"Even about the kiss." And just like that his lips were on yours, moving gently and slowly, afraid that this moment might get lost if used in heat.

Your lips parted after what felt like an eternity, but even that didn't seem enough. He rested his forehead on yours then he said,

"You are so gorgeous, my love."