#but some friends wanted to see mine as well ^^;;

[dxmedstudent]

They tell themselves that all women must prefer what they see as the apex man - extremely well muscled, tough, traditionally masculine.

When women aren't the Borg - we don't have a hive mind (and we aren't all attracted to men). But when we are, there are a range of tastes and thoughts behind how we feel.

For example, I see the Left Olly Murs - he seens happy, and you can tell he's fit and has some muscle definition. He looks good in a "boy next door" kind of way. He seems like the kind of guy I could actually meet on a date or be friends with. He might work out, but he also probably has relatively normal hobbies that we might share.

When I look at the Right Olly Murrs, is see a man who isn't less attractive - but is a lot less attractive to me. Why? He probably lives in the gym. He probably has an extremely rigid gym timetable and diet plan. I don't, so i already feel that my life isn't compatible with this kind of person. I'm soft and pudgy, realistically I expect a person in excellent shape will want a partner who is the same, and I have no intetest in overhauling my entire life just to date someone, when I can look for someone whose lifestyle and goals more closely match mine.

But in reality, women saying they find the left version more attractive are really just acknow acknowledging that someone similar to us is a more realistic fit. And if isn't settling, because their similarity to us is what makes them attractive.

Men can get this when they talk about the "girl next door", and how her everyday approacha beauty makes her the kind of woman you want to share your life with because she isn't some kind of alien-like hot girl that's "way out of your league". They get the idea that you may not actually have a shot with the most conventionally desirable people - and that sometimes being attractive means everyone treats you nicely but people are too scared to approach. Because they've probably all met a woman they found so hit that they didn't dare ask her out.

But some guys like to complain that women want only the hottest men. The richest. The tallest. The most muscled, well-endowed of Chads. That women are unhappily single because they will only date perfect men and are leaving normal guys to languish.

Because it makes them feel better to imagine they are losing out because women just have shallow, unfair and impossible standards.

But to be confronted with the reality that most heterosexual women are perfectly happy dating average men? That being mildly attractive but approachable and nice is actually probably going to get you more genuine interest than being stunning? Statistically this is obvious - if you just think about the people you know or walk in a crowd you'll see mostly average looking couples happily living their lives.

But it goes against the narrative these particular guys have created to explain why they hate women because they are single. So of course they are furious.

Because in their eyes, if Imperfect Left Olly Murs can get woken, why can't they?

i think the reason a lot of men are screaming, puking, and crying about this is bc it forces them to acknowledge that the reason they can’t get women to like them is not actually bc of their physique but bc of their shitty personality

[mrsarnold]

❝ 𝓦hat happens here stays here its just like 𝓥egas ❞

pairing ! p. bueckers x fem!oc

warnings NASTY smut, ex!p x ex!c, semi public/private sex, oral (c!recieving), jealousy sex, what did sabrina say ? 'have you ever tried rhis one?' ��� tit sucking (c!recieving), mean paige, vocal control, 3rd person pov,, thats it??

summary after paige & callie broke up the distance and hatred for eachother wqs very obvious even if they were in the same fg. the distance was further until the fg took everyone on vacation to vegas..

note may be my new favorite fic of mine, pt2?

The sun beamed onto Callie's and the friend group faces as they stepped off the private jet onto Vegas airport grounds. Maya and Jane had the bright idea to take everyone to Vegas for the week off. It wouldve been a fun weekend until the invited someone specfic.

Paige.

Callie and Paige broken up 6 months ago on bad terms. The break up was much needed from the arguments to the accusations of cheating. It was toxic.

Callie was deep in thought on what the possibilities of what could happen on the trip until someone snapped her out of it. "Cals are you ok", Leah asked as everyone headed over to the rental car.

"um yea.. yea im ok."

"you sure?"

"i promise", Callie said unsurely as her and Leah got into the car. Most of the seats were taken by time they were inside so she had sit between Paige and Jane. Just the two of them sitting near eachother tension was knowingly there.

"Lets play some musiccc", Nevaeh said excitedly as she started the car and connected her phone to the aux. The whole ride to the Airbnb was loud but the tension was still there. Every slight movement or accidental looks with eachother caused fireworks in Callie's head.

Callie continued to zone out, thinking of why she even agreed to this trip before she snapped out of it realizing they made it to the Airbnb. As soon as the car was parked Callie was the first out, trying to stay away from Paige but she was right behind her getting out as well before going to speak to KK.

Callie couldn't help but stare at Paige. From here toned arms on displayed by her t shirt, to her boxers peaking out from her sweatpants. 'Gosh she never looked bad' Callie mumbled under her breath before snapping out of it and walking into the Airbnb with everyone else.

"everyone go find the rooms yall want im ordering food", Jane said as she whipped her phone out and doordashed some wingstop. Chatter was all that filled the airbnb as everyone looked around before heading upstairs to find there room. Callie shared with Leah in a room all the way to the end of the hall upstairs.

Callie stayed silent as she tied her hair up into a bun and unpacked her clothes as she closemindly listened to Leah's rant.

"and then we're all gonna go p- Callie are you even listening", Leah asked snapping her out of her unpacking tranced.

"Oh yeah, something about what were doing this week"

"are you ok?? you been off since we landed", Leah worriedly asked as she sat on the bed. Callie wanted to so badly tell her what she was thinking but she didn't wanna ruin anything.

"Yea im ok- i think Jane is calling us down for food and maybe we're going swimming after in the pool you should head down. ill be down soon", Callie admitted as she unpacked her last shirt in the drawer. Leah looked at her confused before getting up and changing into her bathing suit and heading down.

as soon as Leah left Callie sat on the shared bed, deep in thought. Could she actually get through this week. After a little she finally got up and changed into a black bikini.

She stood in the long mirror, checking herself out for any flawd before she saw a familiar figure, one she dreaded to see.

"Just as pretty as i remebered hm", the figure rasped out as she leaned on the door way. Paige once again. Callie stood there frozen, not expecting her to be there at all.

"What? You wanna be silent now", Paige said as she finally entered the room, still checking Callie out. Paige stayed her distance but close enough.

"Paige-", Callie tried to form words before she turned to finally face her. She had jean shorts that hugged her toned legs with a purple two piece swimsuit underneath. 'fuck'

"What do you need Paige."

"Nothin' if we're gonna stay in the same house for a week we gotta tolerate eachother"

Her words alone made Callie roll her eyes.

"Besides you know you miss me Ma", Paige said coming closer. Callie just scolded at her words, expecting but not expecting them.

"In your dreams."

"most definitely in my dreams, if you ever change your mind then. y'know your still mine", Paige said lastly before turning around and walking out of Callie's room, leaving her in shock.

......

The sun beamed on the girls as they were in the pool, talking, drinking, tanning, and doing tiktoks. Callie continued to speak to everyone, still a little shocked at the previous events.

The music became more upbeat the more everyone drank. Callie was all in a blur, one moment she was talking to Leah the next she was off flirting with Izzy in a corner.

It was all going good until Izzy started getting touchy. Callie was unknowing until she heard a familiar voice behind her.



"Izzy mind if i speak to Cals real quick", Paige asked looking from Izzy to Callie. Izzy nodded and removed her hands from Callie. Callie gave her a quick smile before she was roughly dragged away by Paige to the inside of the house.

Once they were alone Paige finally snapped, "What the fuck was that." Her words made Callie become taken aback by her sudden words.

"What do you m-"

"Don't pull that 'what do you mean' shit with me you seen her being all up on you", Paige said annoyedly as she put her cup on the kitchen counter.

"Paige so what we're not dating anymore"

"nah, i already told you were still mine earlier. want me to remind you", Paige said grabbing Callie's neck and forcing her to look at her. Callie instantly went silent at her words and actions.

"nah go upstairs and strip since you don't wanna speak. don't even try moaning either or whimpering. none of that shit", Paige said finally letting go of her neck and watched her go upstairs. Oncs Callie was fully upstairs Paige went back outside like nothing happened.

Meanwhile Callie was upstairs in Paige's room, sitting on her bed in thought of what was gonna happen. then she just stripped fully and laid on her bed, closing her eyes impatiently.

Callie continued to lay there in thought before she felt familiar lips crash against hers making her eyed flutter open. It was Paige doing what she promised.

"Pai-"

"Ah what did i say", Paige said breaking the kiss before kissing down Callies neck. Callie bit back moans not wanting this to be any more difficult.

Paige left some hickeys here and there on her neck before kissing down her body, her stomach to her thighs to her core. She placed a few kisses on Callie's core making Callie squirm under her touch.

"Stay still", Paige said annoyedly before looking up at you, "I don't even think you deserve my touch hm?"

Callie felt she couod cry from the teasing not realizing how bad she wanted this till now. "That's what i thought", Paige said before shoving two fingers into Callie making her moan lowly before covering her mouth and lay her head back.

"Ah look at me or im stopping", Paige said moving up to face Callie as her fingers moved at a relentless pace, "looking so pretty f'me Ma." Callie felt she could practically fall apart at her words. Callie was able to maintain her moans before Paige had a idea.

Without warning Paige caught one of her bouncing tits in her mouth and started sucking on her bud. the overwhelming friction made Callie cry out against her palm.

"Doing so good for me pretty, i wan' hear you now though", Paige mumbled out against her tit making vibrations go through Callie. Callie finally uncovered her mouth and let out shaky moans as Paige continued.

"mm.. Im so close", Callie moaned out as Paige drew her closer and closer to the edge. Paige smirked as she let go of her tit with a pop as her fingers continued to work magic.

"That's it pretty girl come for me aight", Paige said finally before Callie let out one more moan before coming on Pauge's fingers. Paige let her ride out her high before removing her fingers.

Before either of them can speak they heard a yell from Leah, "YALL ARE NASTY."

The both of them burst out into laughter hearing Leah yell at them from downstairs.

"This isn't over by the way."

[hyuneskkami]

⭔ . 𐔌 방찬 .ᐟ ꒱  ─  birds of a feather ✦

⭑ bang chan ⓘ a day in the life of y/n and chan taking care of their stray kids at a mall. 

⌣ ﹒ ୨ৎ ﹕  bf!chan   ₊ ‎   ‎ 9th member!f!reader    ˙  .  ꒷ masterlist ! ⭑ 🕹️ ⋮  fluff  .ᐟ

ꪆ୧ 𝒶n  𓈒 𓈒  ⭑ every event in this fic is a detailed account of a day out with my friends lol, not even a single dialogue is fictional. this fic is solely written to document one of my favourite days ever. enjoy <3

ꪆ୧ 𝓌arnings + tags  𓈒 𓈒  ⭑ established relationship (secret) , reader and chan are the same age , ignore the fact that they’re at a public space , pretend they’re all wearing masks to keep their identity secret or something , timestamps , reader has glasses , ot9 feel like they’re lowkey drunk at one point (they aren’t) , mentions of alcohols (not consumed) , love language by txt mentioned , kisses , chan’s parents mentioned ;

ꪆ୧ 𝓌c  𓈒 𓈒  ⭑ 3.1 k

— ✶ 5:15 PM.

“okay, we missed the first fifteen minutes of this but I think I still understood what was supposed to be her premonition,” you whispered to felix who was sitting to your left. 

you all had a rest day today, so you decided to watch the new final destination movie in the theatre. you coordinated outfits—black top and blue jeans—with each other and looked nothing short of impressive. 

since you were late to the movie, you couldn’t grab any popcorn, so you decided to wait for the intermission.

you kept fidgeting with your hands, with nothing to hold on to or engage them. chan, who was on your right, quietly slipped his hand into yours. he looked over to you and smiled. 

if it weren’t for the darkness of the theatre, everyone would’ve seen the pink dusted on your cheeks as well as chan lacing his fingers with yours. 

you still hadn’t told the other members about you both dating, even though it had been seven months already.

“quite the romantic atmosphere,” he whispered, as someone’s head got crushed by a lawnmower and blood splattered onto the garden, on screen. you started laughing, trying to keep quiet. 

in the middle of the movie, chan gestured you, beckoning you to come closer so he could whisper something to you like you had all been doing with each other to talk about the movie. 

when you put your ear close to his face, he pulled you closer by your chin and placed a kiss on your cheek. you turned to face him suddenly and your eyes widened at his bold move. 

“chan!” you whispered suddenly. he grinned. “there’s too much light now, you can’t do that! what if the others see?”

it was chan’s decision to keep it a secret from the others for a little more while, and you respected it even though you really wanted to tell them all.

he waved you off, shifting comfortably in his seat, continuing to trace circles on the back of your hand.

during the intermission, you all collectively bought two tubs of popcorn and some chicken. hyunjin secretly bought two cans of coca cola, when you got just one. you eyed him suspiciously.

“after yours is over, i’ll let you have mine,” he rolled his eyes.

“good,” you nodded satisfactorily.

during the second half of movie, the seating arrangement got changed completely and chan ended up farther away from you. you shared a sad look as he sat down in his seat.

now, on your left, hyunjin was eating popcorn out of yours and felix’s shared tub. you glared at him, and he offered his can of coca cola as sacrifice. you grinned happily and took it from him.

you asked hyunjin and felix to break the pop tabs of their beverage cans and give it to you, since you had a hobby of collecting them (though, you never really did anything with them).

once in a while, hyunjin stole sips of your shared cola can but you just rolled your eyes and didn’t say anything. 

lots of times, on-screen, when people died in the movie, han and you burst out laughing quietly in a fit of giggles. other people in front of you turned back and glared at your entire group for disturbing the movie.

— ✶ 6:50 PM.

after the movie ended, seungmin was back with his creepy and annoying pranks. 

you were walking out by the exit, beside many motorbikes parked in a line. 

“since chan hyung and y/n are the older ones among us, they’ll die first, huh? like in the movie?” seungmin wondered out loud, on purpose. in the final destination movie you had just watched, the main character’s family had died in order of their ages, from oldest to youngest.

“I have a long life ahead,” jeongin commented. 

“yah! kim seungmin!” you yelled at him, smacking the back of his head. the others giggled at your antics. 

“guys,” minho started. you all turned to look at him. “you see that screw in the fan right there? what if it came loose, and the blades of the fan fell down onto one of the bikes, and something happens, and then the bike revs backwards onto one of us and then we die—”

“shut up, oh my god! you’re all creepy children! why are you all like this?” changbin said suddenly, plugging his ears with his fingers. seungmin and minho giggled evilly—if that was possible—and walked ahead of changbin.

we were waiting for the company’s car to pick us up to go back to the dorms, but then chan pulled out a card from his pocket.

“I have a card access to a nearby mall’s arcade from last year. I just need to get it recharged. should we—”

“we’re going to the mall!” han and jeongin jumped up and down in joy, hopping like kangaroos.

chan and you shared a soft look, like parents would do in the presence of their children. 

“it’s decided then. we’re going to the mall!” felix screamed happily. 

— ✶ 7:10 PM.

in the company car, felix, jeongin, and you were be sitting in a row, and hyunjin, han, and chan were sitting behind you three. changbin and seungmin were sitting in the front single seat.

in the darkness of the car, chan—who was sitting in the seat behind your own—snaked his arms around your waist from the side. you jolted suddenly but turned around quickly to glare at him.

“and if someone sees?” you whispered to him, quickly glancing at the other preoccupied boys.

chan shrugged and smiled, continuing to rub his warm hand against your waist.

by the time it was around seven in the evening, you had reached the mall. the ride there was definitely… cramped. 

you all walked around in little groups of your own, looking at other people, and judging some ahjussis and what-not.

you turned to see a small boy group debut showcase in front of you. it turned out that they were also from JYP entertainment, so you asked one of the managers there—whom you had known before—when the boys’ schedule today was to end. 

they notified you that it was their last performance.

“hey, chan? can we meet those boys backstage?” you asked him, making puppy eyes. “they’re all such adorable children and I want to take pictures with them—”

“you think everyone below the age of 20 is adorable,” he pointed out. you rolled your eyes. “but fine, they’re from our company too, right? we’ll probably see them around a lot too.”

you jumped in excitement, running away to tell han the good news, as chan watched you with a soft smile on his face. 

“hello! we’re—”

“stray kids!? oh my god, it’s stray kids—”

“holy shit!”

you all giggled at the young boy group’s enthusiastic reactions to your appearance. 

they immediately bowed and did their group’s hand gesture and started looking at you in awe. 

“we were wondering if we could take a picture with you guys. some of our members were super excited about that,” chan said while talking to their leader.

it was almost as if the boys had stopped functioning.

“you want a picture… with us?” they asked. 

after talking more with the boys, who were barely around 17 years old, you all snapped some pictures with them and broke away with promises of treating each other to good food after practice one day. 

you all were using the stairs to go up a few floors to the arcade when han spotted a dark room without any lights or people in it. there was no door, and just a single couch in a corner of the room.

you all piled in, while felix and you started recording a video with the flash on. 

“hey! we should take an aesthetic picture here,” felix said, gesturing to the couch.

you all squeezed into place on the couch, albeit extremely cramped, as felix took pictures with the 0.5 lens and flash. chan’s arm was around your shoulder and your foot was resting on his crossed legs�� ankle. 

“yah! who’s there?” a gruff choice yelled from another door in the room. at the sudden yell, you all scrambled to get up, grabbing your jackets quickly and scurrying away before you could get caught and yelled at.

as you left the room, you were all laughing and sighing heavily. it was quite awkward when that man saw you all pile out of the room quickly. 

— ✶ 7:25 PM.

after finally reaching your actual destination—the arcade—the others went to buy drinks from the vending machines as chan and you were waiting in line to pay and recharge the game card. 

“it feels like we’re their parents, doesn’t it?” he asked, turning to face you.

you sighed softly with a smile on your face. “it does.”

the first thing everyone wanted to do was go to the scary house. 

you usually weren’t scared to go to any scary houses before, but today felt different with your best friends right there. you didn’t know why, but your heart was hammering against your chest at the prospect of going in.

“it’s only three people at a time,” the staff outside the scary house said.

and you were nine people, so you decided on three groups of three: chan, hyunjin, and you. han, felix, and jeongin. minho, changbin, and seungmin.

you made up something about a ‘reverse age order’ so your group could somehow go last.

when han, felix and jeongin stepped out, they were all laughing and rubbing their faces. 

“he’s mad!” jeongin screamed about felix. “he was talking to one of the people inside! they even held hands!”

“han fell and broke his phone case, though,” felix pointed out. “he got scared and threw his pho—”

“shut up!” han screamed into felix’s ear as they both argued. 

the staff gestured the last three of you to go in.

as soon as you stepped in and the door closed behind you, you shoved hyunjin to your front as chan stayed behind you.

“I can’t see anything, i’m blind already,” you said, shifting your glasses on your face. “you go first, hyunjin.”

chan’s hand came to rest on your waist comfortably, assured that hyunjin wouldn’t be able to see it in the dark. 

you smiled for a second before getting jumpscared by a moving mannequin.

both hyunjin and you kept screaming the entire time as chan was talking to the person following your group, waiting to scare you.

“ahjussi! sorry! I meant oppa! please! I literally can’t see anything! scare the other guys, please!” you started screaming blindly at the scare actor following you all, as chan started laughing at you.

the whole time, chan’s hands were resting on your waist, not moving. 

at the end, a photo of a woman was framed on the wall.

“oh, smash— never mind, that’s disgusting,” you said as her face morphed into some weird gooey thing. 

as you finally stepped out of the room, stumbling, you started laughing like you went crazy.

chan let go of you as you stepped into the light and went to hug han.

hyunjin and chan shared a look, but you ignored it.

“I love you, ji, oh my god, I never thought i’d get to see your adorable quokka cheeks ever again—” you continued rambling.

you all moved onto the games in the arcade, starting with a car racing simulator. only one of them was working, so you all had to take turns playing on it. 

chan, arguably the best driver among the nine of you, had one hand on the back of the seat, and one on the steering wheel, along with the person who was driving. 

he helped you all win your races from the side as you celebrated each win.

when seungmin was still driving, you stepped back and looked at the whole scene: chan’s hand on seungmin’s, seungmin driving with enthusiasm, the other boys jumping around both of them while smiling and screaming. 

without knowing, you started to smile. 

years later, when you looked back to this day, would you remember it all? you hoped you would. 

soon after you all finished your car races victoriously, you decided to play on the bumper cars. 

since there were only four cars, so you split into pairs and felix decided to sit it out because of his back pain.

seungmin and you in the red car, chan and jeongin in the blue car, hyunjin and han in the green car, and changbin and minho in the orange car—that’s exactly how chaos began.

your controls weren’t working well, and every time chan came around to dash into you, you gave him a look and he swerved away before hitting your car, instead opting to bump into the other guys. 

girlfriend privileges, you thought, smiling to yourself. 

after you were all exhausted, you walked around and found the doubles air hockey.

none of them knew it since they’d never played games with you, but you were quite literally an undefeated champion at air hockey.

chan and you were set to play against minho and han. the three boys were stacking bets against each other, and wanted food as the prize. you agreed, smirking to yourself. 

less than ten minutes later, minho and han were groaning on the other side of the game while chan and you were giggling like schoolgirls.

being sore losers, they challenged us to a rematch in the arcade’s mini basketball. you laughed in their faces, and agreed.

chan and you got a score of 202 while minho and han got 144. they lost. again.

“didn’t you know y/n was the sports club captain for three years straight at her high school?” hyunjin remarked in passing. han froze and turned around dramatically. your lips curled, giving way to a grin.

“that’s not even fair! we were set up for failure! I have no money!” han began complaining, following behind you like a puppy, as you walked over to the register to buy tickets for the spinning tunnel.

“sore loser,” you said over your shoulder to him, throwing up your middle finger. he groaned, giving up and leaving to find hyunjin to annoy.

— ✶ 08:56 PM.

nine deranged and insane people in one small spinning vortex tunnel only spelt chaos.

as soon as the door closed behind the last one of you, it was almost as if everyone went mad.

chan and hyunjin were recreating the choreographies of escape and red lights; han was twerking while minho watched him like an adorable idiot; seungmin attempted to jump off the side of the tunnel but you pulled his leg back and cursed at him; changbin sat down on the floor of the tunnel and pulled felix to sit with him; jeongin and you were belting out the lyrics of love language by tomorrow x together.

everyone felt absolutely drunk.

at some point, every one of you was dancing in the small space like a rave party, the nine of you singing nine different songs at the same time and vibing.

when you were recording the whole thing, han’s face popped up close to your camera.

“vodka! tequila!” he said, and started laughing like a madman. he walked around and came back. “whiskey!”

the door suddenly opened and the staff stared at all of you with questionable looks, as you hadn’t noticed the open door yet.

when you finally did, you all walked out of the tunnel murmuring apologies to the staff who witnessed the whole… ordeal. 

for the last game, you decided to go to a VR roller coaster.

chan and you opted out of it, deciding to just watch the others.

you waved a goodbye to them as they pulled their headsets on and started giggling.

“one day, it’ll be you and me and our kids here,” chan said softly, looking at the boys with a look of pure love and adoration. “and these seven uncles too.”

“today really was amazing,” you continued. “I don’t know if I will ever have another day in my life quite as memorable as today.”

as you both were talking about the future, while waiting for the boys to finish their roller coaster ride, chan suddenly said something that made your heart stop.

“my parents’ve been missing you,” he said.

“huh?”

“they haven’t seen you in so long! the last time they saw you in front of their own eyes was last summer at home. they really want you to come to australia once again,” he said, smiling down at you.

“oh,” you said, unable to comprehend that they actually thought of you when you weren’t there.

“I shouldn’t spill their secrets, but they have a nickname for you. back home, I mean.”

“wait what? tell me!”

“no.”

“tell me! we’ve known each other since I was a child, I should know this!”

“they call you their ‘sweetheart’.”

— ✶ 10:57 PM.

with the tickets you all collectively won—which weren’t a lot—you got nine toy cars as souveneirs for your day spent together at the arcade. two of them had the same numbers, which chan and you took first. the rest of them chose their own favourite colours.

for dinner next, you all went to get pizza.

at the restaurant, all of you filmed a car meet with your toy cars, drifting them with your hands and whatnot.

after everyone was satisfied with the videos—some of the boys secretly texted skijigi, letting them know they had enough content for another skzcode episode—you finally ate pizzas and burgers, forgetting about your diets for a day.

with your flower hair clip, you held it to each of the boys’ hair and snapped pictures to post for STAYs later.

— ✶ 12:00 AM.

on the way back to your dorms, the car was vibrating with energy and the only reason was jeongin, han, hyunjin, and you had energy drinks before getting into the car. a really bad idea.

as you kept talking fastly about a new anime, chan’s hand found yours on the side. with the same arrangement as your last ride, chan was sitting in the row behind you.

from the corner of your eye, you saw him bend lower.

you felt a wet kiss pressed to the back of your hand. a grin split across your face, that you couldn’t hide.

— 12:07 AM.

chan and you were cuddling and watching tiktok videos in his and jeongin’s shared room—without jeongin, obviously, who was asleep in felix’s room—when chan’s phone dinged with a text from hyunjin.

• hyunnie 🥟: “you and y/n and together? keep her safe <3”

۫ ꣑ৎ taglist :

@luvvchn @seraphicloves @itzzzzzzyyyyydaaaaa @trashlord-007 @jay-x-lee @lixiesstorys @inejghafawifesblog @angellcvkes

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

The Keys Of Heaven [Chapter 7: I Look Forward To The Resurrection]

A/N: Only 1 chapter left, besties!!! Don't forget to answer the poll pinned to my blog once you've finished Chapter 7 😘

Series summary: Three years ago, Father Aemond Targaryen performed a miracle. Now he is a cardinal, a media sensation, and a frontrunner to be elected pope. You are a nun who has been brought to Vatican City to assist with the papal conclave. But when your paths cross by happenstance, you must both reckon with your decision to join the Catholic Church…and what you want from the future.

Series warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), references to abuse and violence, volcanoes, bodily injury, death, peril, scheming, pining, some drugs/alcohol/smoking, Catholic trivia you never asked to learn, kangaroos!

Word count: 4.8k

🦘 A very special thanks to my Aussie slang consultant @bearwithegg and also her mum (any mistakes are mine) 🦘

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

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“What happened last night?” Rhaena asks.

You are standing in front of the mirror and affixing your veil with pins. At home in Sydney, your convent has long since done away with habits and veils. When you and Rhaena board your transcontinental flight, you’ll be dressed in ordinary jumpers and skirts and runners, and no one will know you’re nuns unless you choose to tell them. You think as you stare at your reflection, a woman you do not recognize: I’ll wear it today, and I’ll wear it tomorrow. And then I’ll never wear it again. “What do you mean?”

“I waited up for you,” Rhaena says, smiling uncertainly. “Or…I tried to. I made it twenty minutes, maybe.”

“You must have been exhausted.”

“Deadset, mate. I was flat out like a lizard drinking yesterday.” She tilts her head to the side, still smiling but increasingly puzzled. “And then you didn’t wake me when you came back, so I must have been knocked out for a while by then, you know I’m a light sleeper. What took so long?”

“Well…” You pretend to be adjusting your veil as you summon the most cavalier version of yourself. “I changed Aemo’s sheets, and then he needed some more shampoo and conditioner so I ran to fetch that, and then I bumped into Cardinal Almazan in the kitchenette and had a nice long yarn with him while he made leche flan. He said we could have some, it should be in the refrigerator. Should we go cut ourselves pieces?”

“Cardinal Targaryen,” Rhaena corrects.

You blink at her, not knowing what she means. “What?”

“Cardinal Targaryen, not Aemo. Not your friend from the beach. He’s going to be the pope soon, you’ll have to get out of the habit of acting so familiar with him.”

You are a little bewildered. It’s a catastrophically sad thought. “Well, he’ll still be the same person. Part of him will always be that boy from the beach.”

But Rhaena shakes her head. “The pope must be the Holy Father to all, which means he can’t be close friends with some nun, not even if that nun is you. No one who holds the Keys of Heaven has the luxury of being normal. And Cardinal Targaryen will be even higher above the rest of us than the last pope, because everybody knows God works miracles through him.”

You see Aemond vanishing through the doorway and into the humid nightscape of Sydney, indigo and stars and streetlights; you hear the vague disembodied echoes of a song you can’t remember. “Right,” you answer numbly.

“Come on, Mum,” Rhaena says, smiling and smoothing your white veil. “Let’s have a go at that leche flan, yeah?”

~~~~~~~~~~

You frown down at the fish pond, the sky above grey and the breeze chilly as it rocks through the laurel hedges and the stone pines and the lemon trees. There in the dark rippling water is your newest victim, a small white koi with a long wisp of a tail like an angel’s wing. It stares inanely up at you with glassy black eyes, seeing nothing now or ever again, bobbing limply on the gentle currents stirred by the trickling of the fountain in the center of the pond.

You mutter, shaking your head, confounded: “Fucking hell, what is going on?”

“You’re overfeeding them,” a loud man’s voice says, and you whirl to him. He has startled you, though not on purpose. Kazi is puffing on his vape; he uses it to gesture to the cold grey sky. “It’s not warm enough for them to need a lot of food, just a few pellets each. You’re giving them too much, so the extra breaks down and leeches the oxygen out of the water, and then they suffocate to death.”

“Oh, that’s horrible!” you cry, closing the plastic container of fish food in your grasp. “Why didn’t you tell me before? You saw me feeding them.”

Kazi smirks and shrugs, his salt-and-pepper hair ruffled by the wind, his short beard getting untidy. Perhaps he forgot his trimmer at home in Poland. “I didn’t want to embarrass you when there were other people out here. And then I kind of forgot about it. It’s been an eventful week, you know.”

“It has been,” you agree. You peer down into the pond again, repentant. You’ll have to take the white koi out and bury it with the others. “Sorry, little mates.”

Kazi grins. “You’re not very good at this nun thing, huh?”

And suddenly, you know: I’m going to leave. After a moment, you smile back, wide and radiant and warm. “No. I reckon I’m not.”

Kazi holds up his vape, white and red like the flag of his country, half like your habit, half like the cassock of a cardinal. “Would you like a hit, Sister? It’s butterscotch flavored.”

“Yeah nah, I don’t smoke. Thanks though.”

“You should reconsider,” Kazi says. “You might need something to take the edge off tomorrow.” Then he saunters off towards the Domus Sanctae Marthae, where brekkie is about to be served.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the dining hall, you pick up plates of Roman maritozzi and apple crostata and bring them to the tables of chattering cardinals, making the most of their last day of deliberation before the voting resumes. The topic of conversation you overhear most frequently is their travel plans to return home; everyone knows the conclave will soon be over. They miss their friends back in their parishes, their flocks of believers, their communities, their traditions, their gardens, their charity projects, their pets.

Cardinal Gideon Saati is telling his table how each December he bakes thousands of Sudanese kahk for local schools and orphanages. Cardinal Jacob Green is explaining how he arranges for Iranian Catholics to celebrate Christmas safely in secret. The dean Cardinal Seaborn, palpably relieved to be nearing the finish line, is floating around the room beaming and resting his hands on shoulders, saying how thankful he is that they’ll all get to be home for the holidays. For a while there, he wasn’t so sure it would turn out that way.

Home, you think wistfully, and for the first time in fifteen years that doesn’t feel like the convent.

You serve Aemond’s table, but he doesn’t say anything to you. He is conversing with Cardinal Valentino Parmigiano of Italy, who has a lot to say about prison ministry, especially concerning inmates connected to the mafia. Aemond listens, looking very tired. You keep trying to catch his eye. He keeps evading you, like he wasn’t inside you last night, like you aren’t bound together by something that is at once forbidden and corporeal and holy. And you are reminded of a homily you once heard about how the sin of sloth is not just laziness but a failure to do what is necessary, what is right; it is an alienation from God’s love and the spiritual conviction that comes with it.

“Thank you so much, Sister,” Lando says when you pass him his plate, and Kazi and Cam smile at you, and even Lucky gives you a quick nod in greeting. He has no reason to resent you now. He has won; Aemond will be the next pope, and nothing you could give him would ever be enough to change that.

Across the dining hall, Cardinal Jahoda and the occupants of his table are listless, not because they’ve lost but because Aemond has won, and he is young and revered and invincible, and he will steer the course of the Faith for the next half a century, long after they are all in their graves. Cardinal Ferrari is morosely nibbling at a maritozzi, sprinkled with powdered sugar and filled with whipped cream. Cardinal Auclair looks up from his slice of apple crostata just long enough to glare at you. You wonder what gifts he will bring his clandestine family for Christmas: toys for the children, perhaps a gold necklace for the woman who should have been his wife.

When brekkie is over and the cardinals are leaving in a red river to convene their final meetings, you find Lando still at his table gathering up the plates and glasses and silverware so they are easier for the nuns to collect. Sister Helvi playfully scolds him for this. Lando cannot be dissuaded.

You go to help him, and when Sister Helvi has skuttled off and you and Lando are alone, you ask: “Lando, did atheists really kill Cardinal Jahoda’s family?”

Lando hesitates. “It was a little more attenuated than that, I think,” he says. “The father was shot in Prague. And then after that, the mother...” He makes an apologetic gesture: What a shame. “Alcoholism or suicide, or both, they’re not always so different, you know? Then he had a brother who set himself on fire to protest authoritarianism in the Eastern Bloc. And Jahoda was the only one left. So did the Soviets murder his entire family? Perhaps not literally. But in a sense, I suppose they did. I think the effect on him was much the same.”

“That’s so awful,” you murmur as you fill your hands with metal silverware that clangs together like archaic instruments of torture.

“People do the best they can, Sister. Very few of us aspire to be villains. Jahoda, and Auclair, and Ferrari...they still remember what the wars did to Europe. They grew up drowning in the aftermath. How can we expect someone like that to know how to breathe clean air? Their experiences and their fears are legitimate. But so too are Aemo’s experiences, and Lucky’s, and Kazi’s, and Cam’s. We must sew this patchwork together somehow. We must endure as the Church always has.”

You don’t know what to say. I don’t think Aemond should be the pope. I know he doesn’t want it for the right reasons. I know I don’t want to leave him behind when I get on that plane.

Lando smiles at you, sad but kind. “I’m always praying for you, Sister.”

“Good. I defo need it.”

He chuckles, and you help each other finish cleaning up, and he doesn’t leave the dining hall until the work is done.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s after dark, and Aemond is not in the Domus Sanctae Marthae; you know this because you have checked his bedroom, and the kitchenette, and the gym, and even the basement where the nuns do the washing and spiders stare from the corners with their myriad of lidless eyes. He’s not in the gardens either, or in Saint Peter’s Basilica when you traipse through the entire church twice over in your swishing white wool habit and matching runners, passing stone statues of saints that seem to be watching you with cold vexed judgement: You should not be wearing the gown and veil of a bride of Christ. Your passions run in other directions.

“Yeah, yeah, hold your horses,” you mutter with a wave as you pass them. “She’ll be right after tomorrow.” Then you’ll be honest. Then you’ll begin your life over again like Lazarus stumbling out of the tomb still shrouded in his grave clothes, strips of linen hanging from his outstretched arms like flayed skin.

Where is Aemond? Where the bloody hell could he be?

Then you recall the heat of red wax on your cheek and the wine on his tongue when he kissed you for the first time, and you follow that memory to the statue of Saint Andrew, who guards the entrance to the Vatican Grottoes below. He stands holding the X-shaped cross he was crucified on when he went to Greece to spread the gospel there; his blind marble eyes are turned skyward, as if he is gazing up into the dome, stucco, glass windows, mosaics, angels and saints and the faces of the sixteen Holy Fathers interred in the basilica. In a ring around the base, inscribed in Latin in blue letters on a backdrop of gold, are Christ’s words to the first pope: You are Peter and on this rock I will build my church and give you the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven.

You descend into the subterranean maze. And as you try to remember your way to the Clementine Chapel, walking through long corridors with low arched ceilings and florescent lights that are dim and yellow like the pages of old books, you study the paintings and engravings that tell the stories of martyrs, tortured here on earth by blades, flames, arrows, nails, spears, clubs, stones, the hatred of men. Suffering brings us closer to God, the Faith teaches that; and yet perhaps it can also lead us to darker places, the hollows of wounds filled in with pride or wrath or greed or envy, things that leave us hungry no matter how much we’ve devoured.

In the Clementine Chapel, Aemond is gazing at the altar behind which the bones of Saint Peter are buried. You know he’s not praying. He has never prayed, not once in his life; he has only closed his eyes and wished to escape, to climb ever-higher, to touch you as no cardinal ever should. The candles haven’t been lit. The walls and ceiling are coated with gold, setting the air on fire, a glow like the sun but without any warmth.

“I’m leaving whether you are or not,” you say. “But I think you should come with me.”

Aemond turns, a tower of red like the porphyry columns that hold up the altar. His hands are linked behind his back. His voice is sympathetic but immovable. “I can’t go.”

“But you don’t believe in any of this.” You thought you were prepared for his refusal, but you aren’t; already you can feel scalding tears in your eyes, you can feel the grief of losing him all over again, you can see yourself opening up that suitcase to find the seashells you gathered together crushed into dust. “It doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“I don’t know who I am outside of the Church.”

“You’d sort it out,” you insist. “We both would. We could help each other.”

“You’ll be alright. You aren’t like me.”

“Aemo, please listen to—”

“This has been my plan forever,” he says, he hemorrhages, he begs for you to understand. “For as long as I can remember, since, since...” He shakes his head and rakes his fingers through his hair, now blonde, one day grey, one day gone when only his skull is left, interred here with all the other dead Holy Fathers, something between a god and a man. “Since I met you on that beach and you gave me your rosary and I started going to Mass with my mother, since I was twelve years old I have fought to end up here, right here, in Rome, in the Vatican, and every bad thing that ever happened to me could be left behind because I was climbing higher, I was extraordinary, I was going someplace where no one could ever touch me. And I can’t just forget the past twenty-nine years. I can’t start over again. I’m sorry, I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“You don’t think I ever get scared?” you ask, tears flowing down your cheeks like scorching flows of lava. “You don’t think I have moments when I want to wall myself up in the convent and never leave again, not even for a day, not even for an hour, because I know that if I stay there I’ll never be hurt or alone, I’ll be safe until I die in fifty years? Of course I have moments of doubt. Of course I’m fucking scared. But sometimes the right thing to do is scary. You think Christ wasn’t scared when He went to the cross?”

“You’ll be alright out there,” Aemond says again, like he’s trying to convince both of you. “You’re...you’re real, you know? You’re kind, and you’re beautiful, and people will love you.”

“Aemo, you can have the life you want too.”

“In case you haven’t figured this out yet, I’m not a good person. But now I can do good for a lot of people.”

“And what about me?” you ask, your voice fracturing like when Saint Catherine shattered the breaking wheel; but you can’t free yourself from this. You aren’t a saint, you aren’t even a nun anymore; you’re just a woman. “You won’t miss me? You don’t want me?”

“Of course I want you,” Aemond says tenderly, like it’s a bruise that aches when it’s touched. “But my reign will be long, and the future holds so much promise. Every year more people support repealing the celibacy requirement—”

You scoff, astounded. “You’re going to be the pope and have a girlfriend?”

“Things will be possible soon that weren’t before. I’ll make them possible. And to protect my reputation, to preserve the sanctity of the Church...once I am the pope, any controversies will be neatly papered over. They concealed the late Holy Father’s mishandling of abuse allegations. Surely a consensual relationship is less damning.”

“I don’t want to be your secret girlfriend,” you hiss. “I’m not leaving the convent to be anyone’s secret. And you’re insane if you think a modern pope would be able to conceal anything resembling a functional relationship.”

“I would be above suspicion. People think I’m a saint.”

“You’re not even a Catholic.”

“No,” Aemond agrees, flat and cold like marble.

“That’s fraudulent, that’s dishonest—”

“And I am deceitful!” Aemond seethes, striking his own chest, rattling his gold cross on its chain. “I didn’t join the Church because I felt called to it, and I didn’t save those people on Nea Kameni because it was the right thing to do. I saved them because I knew it would get me made a cardinal. And when the earth split open and the lava that should have killed them poured down into the crevice, I let them tell the world it was a miracle.”

“But that’s not why you saved me from the car,” you say. “You didn’t do it to win the election, I know you didn’t. You didn’t have enough time to consider any of that. You were waiting by the gate before the crash ever happened, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to hear it.”

“I saved you because I love you,” Aemond murmurs, almost to himself, peering vacantly at the gold on the wall. In the metallic sheen, his reflection is a vague dark silhouette like a storm cloud or a plume of ash. “And I think maybe I’ve loved you my whole life. We should have never left that beach, but we did. And now we can’t go back.”

“Yes we can, Aemo,” you plead. “You’re flawed, we all are, we’re human. We’ve all sinned. But you’re not a bad person. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life atoning.”

“I abandoned my kid, who does that?!” And now his eye is glistening like the cold ripples of the koi pond. “And if I leave the Church, what the fuck am I supposed to tell him? That I ran away, and that I kept running, and that even when I heard his mother died I never considered reaching out to him so he could have one parent left? So many people have lost children who they loved desperately, and I couldn’t get far enough away from mine.”

“You’ll tell him the truth,” you say. “That you were so young, and hurt and confused and afraid. But that now you want to make things right. And in time, he will forgive you.”

“He won’t. I wouldn’t, if I was him.”

“So you’ll keep hiding forever?” you ask, staggered, heartbroken. “Here in the marble and the gold, buried in relics, clinging to your armor, retelling the same lies over and over, wearing the name of Saint Thomas Aquinas not because of any of his good deeds but because he was what you want to be, famous, legendary, one of the smartest men who’s ever lived?”

“I’ll help people,” Aemond says, echoing the faith of better men: Lucky, Kazi, Cam, Lando. “No one else will be able to do as much as I can.”

“You think you’re the only hope for the Church?! You don’t even believe in the Church!”

“But people believe in me,” Aemond says; and suddenly in his remaining eye, a crystalline blue window to the soul, you can see only the sins that have consumed him: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride.

What happened to that boy from the beach?

You take a step away from him. “I’ll pray for you.”

He lashes out, fangs and venom: “I don’t need your prayers.”

“I’ll pray harder,” you say, tears shimmering on your face, molten red heat replacing the marrow of your bones. “For your conscience. For your soul.”

He severs whatever is left between you—memory and strings and gravity—and storms out of the chapel. You hear his footsteps fade as he flees from the Vatican Grottoes, their ricochets becoming whispers and then nothing at all.

You go to the altar, take a book of matches from a pocket of your white habit, and light the candles there, white and red and half-burned down by the rituals of the nights before. Then, weeping softly in the firelight, you knit your hands together and pray.

~~~~~~~~~~

He is running but getting nowhere, and he is reminded of those years he spent as an anonymous priest on Santorini, dressed in black and with two eyes that hate what they see in the mirror, a coward, a void, something that gorges itself and yet is never satisfied. He doesn’t want to be this way. Why would anybody? If he could choose to be something pure and soft and human, he would. If he could go back to that beach in Sydney, Australia and be twelve years old again, he’d sign his name on the dotted line in his own blood. But who could offer that kind of contract? There’s no such thing as resurrection.

He hears the door open and sees a shadow spill across the white tile floor of the gym, too large to be her, and the way he feels a sinking inside is sickening. He shouldn’t still want to see her; he should let her go, he should want her to be free and happy like a dove loosed from a cage.

Lucky? Kazi? Seaborn?

But no; when Aemond looks to the doorway, who he sees instead is Cardinal Matej Jahoda.

Aemond hits a button on the treadmill, and he slows from a run to a jog to a walk as the belt decelerates until it stops. His grey crewneck and sweatpants—trackies, she would call them, he thinks randomly—are damp with sweat. Salt trickles down his lips until he can taste it; salt stings in his remaining eye, and that is not the only piece of him that’s missing, it’s just the only one people can see. Now he stands motionless on the treadmill, panting with his hands gripping the foam-padded handrails, his right palm still bandaged from where he split it open to save her from the burning car. Beneath the woven cotton and a gloss of antibiotic ointment, his mending flesh is inflamed and throbbing. He popped several of his stitches last night. Aemond isn’t sure what to say to Cardinal Jahoda. He waits for the man, broad and grey-haired and old enough to be his father, to speak instead.

“There are things beyond my understanding,” Jahoda begins at last. His sturdy hands are snarled tightly together, like he doesn’t know what to do with them. His eyes are weary and downcast. He looks helpless, Aemond realizes, and feels an unexpected pang of pity for him. “Part of believing in God means that I surrender to His design, even if it is unfathomable to me.”

“How can I help you, Cardinal Jahoda?”

“You must be tough on Russia and China, and authoritarianism everywhere,” Jahoda says, and his words are commanding but his tone sounds more like a plea, something fragile, something that could easily shatter if left in the wrong hands. “I fear that in the bargains we’ve made to help the Church expand under these regimes, we have allowed ourselves to become the tools of tyrants. We legitimize them, we conceal their misdeeds.”

Aemond steps down from the treadmill, hiding his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants like he is concealing secrets. I have a responsibility to listen to him now. “Is there something specific you’d like to see done?”

“The 2018 agreement between China and the Vatican should be reassessed, and probably annulled. We are just rubber stamping priests that the Communist Party elevates because they don’t threaten the government, and in the process we have abandoned millions of the true faithful operating in secrecy there. Cardinal John Zen of China, a great champion of human rights and political freedom, has spoken to me many times about the harm this agreement has done to genuine Catholics in his country, and to the Church’s commandment to safeguard human life and liberty.”

Your concern for liberty seems at times to be somewhat selective, Cardinal Jahoda, Aemond almost replies. Instead, he makes a peace offering. If he is to be a living saint, he must learn to act like one. And who is the most saintly person he knows? What would Lando say? “I appreciate you bringing your concerns to me directly. I’ll speak to Cardinal Zen myself and look into this matter thoroughly.”

Jahoda bows his head; it’s a small victory, but it offers some consolation nonetheless. “Thank you, Your Eminence.”

“And I’ll have a committee formed to ascertain the path forward. Would you like to be on it?”

Jahoda looks up, startled. It takes him a moment to get his bearings again. “I would be honored, Cardinal Targaryen.”

Aemond smiles faintly. “We have a very long path to walk together, Brother. We must learn to coexist.”

“I know you don’t have to listen to me,” Jahoda says. “I know you don’t have to listen to anyone now. But I ask you...no, I beg you to be cautious in your progressive ambitions. The Church has endured for two thousand years, what other modern institution can claim that? The Japanese imperial family, perhaps. And who else? Scientists are using the Catholic Church as a model upon which to create an ‘atomic priesthood’ to warn future civilizations about the storage locations of nuclear waste, a threat that will exist until our planet is obliterated by the sun in five billion years. We have outlasted the Egyptians and the Greeks and the Romans, the Mongols, the Byzantines, the Ottomans, the global empires of Russia and Britain and Spain. We survived countless wars. We survived the Black Death. We survived the Nazis and the communist revolutions that killed tens of millions of people. And through all of this we preserved countless lives and artefacts and sources of knowledge. We preserved hope in the possibility of a better world. We did not last this long because we are reckless. We must not change faster than the consequences of our actions can be fully considered. If we make a misstep and crumble as all the other ancient empires did, who will fill the void we leave behind?”

Who will implore the great powers to be compassionate? Who will help rebuild after disasters? Who will provide food, shelter, schools, medicine, guidance, fellowship, hope? “I appreciate your love for the Church and your commitment to its continued longevity. I will pray on all of this, and I assure you that I too—as well as the cardinals I have worked so closely with—are guided by only the purest of intentions.”

Jahoda smirks, exhausted, wry. “Intentions are never pure. But we try not to muddy them too much.” He sighs heavily, touching the gold cross that hangs from the chain around his neck as if to give him strength. “I will see you tomorrow, Your Eminence. It will be our last day spent in the Sistine Chapel. I’ll have to remember to take a long look at Michelangelo’s fresco while I still have the chance.”

Cardinal Jahoda gives Aemond a nod of farewell and then leaves the gym, a red column of slow steps and slumped shoulders. Aemond gets back on the treadmill and resumes his running. As he does, his wounded hand begins bleeding again.

I’m not a saint, he thinks, watching the bloom of crimson spread across his bandaged palm as sweat runs down into his eye. I’m just a man.

[leonw4nter]

.☘︎ ܁˖ How Do I Love Thee?

─ ♡ Husband!DI!Leon x F!Reader

⋆˚࿔ summary - your daughter doesn't quite understand the concept of actual names and pet names. luckily, leon's there to help.

⋆˚࿔ word count - 1.1k words

There came a point in your daughter’s life where she realized that just like her, you and her father had names– and so did everyone else’s parents apparently. It just occurred to her as well that she didn’t just come into this world named as that– you and your husband had to agree on a name to give to her; she wondered, “why do my parents use another name more than the name my teachers and friends use at school?”. After much thinking and snack-fueled theorizing, she has come to the conclusion that she has two names– just like an agent does.

“Mom,” she begins in that sweet squeaky voice of hers. “Do you have two names too? Or just one?”

She stares up at you, a tiny hand grabbing onto your pant leg.

“I only have one,” you respond. “Why?”

Grinning proudly, she takes her hand off of your pants and places them confidently on her hips.

“What? You have two names too, sweetpea and love– and I have two too!”

You chuckle, bending down to meet her at eye-level.

“Yeah? What are your names? And what’s my two names?”

“Mine is Willow and honey, yours are sweetpea and sweetheart! Willow is my school name and honey is my real name.”

“And how is ‘honey’ your real name?”

“Because you and daddy call me that always!”

You stay silent, quietly processing the fact that you and Leon both have a part in this innocent confusion; you do adoringly call her honey more than her actual name sometimes– no, all the time. Well, at home anyway.

You gently stroke her hair, placing a lock behind her ear and smoothing it down to stay in place.

“Honey,” you say. “There’s plain names like ‘Willow’ and then there’s names like ‘honey’, ‘sweetheart’, and ‘love’. Those names are called ‘pet names’. You use that for people that are really precious to you.”

She tilts her head to the side, eyes narrowing with her mouth slightly agape. She definitely doesn’t get it, you think to yourself. You’ve barely managed to brainstorm a way to explain this in terms easy for a 5 year-old to understand when you hear the front door unlock, followed by footsteps.

“Daddy!” Willow exclaims, running to greet her dad.

“Hi honey,” he says in his baby voice before he bends down to pick her up and lift her. “How’s my princess doin’?”

The little princess turns her head around abruptly to stare at you, wrapping her tiny arms around Leon’s neck.

“See?” she loudly points out. “I have two names, daddy said it just now!”

“Whaa–?” Leon says, looking at her before staring at you with a curious look. “Sweetpea, what’s going on?”

Willow’s face lights up even more, smiling widely as Leon unintentionally proves her point further.

“Mommy, you have two names! I promise, you do!”

Willow’s squiggling around in his arms now, indicating that she wants to get down and have some of the cake that Leon brought on the way home.

After serving her a portion on a Disney princess plate, Leon brings up the topic again.

“What was that about?” he asks in a hushed voice as he loosens his tie, an amused grin present on his face.

“Oh that earlier? She’s confused about names, thinks she has two of them: Willow and ‘honey’. I mean, we do call her ‘honey’ a lot of the time so I kind of get her confusion.”

He chuckles, entertained by the conundrum his little princess is in.

“Let the pro handle this,” he whispers to you after he places a kiss on your cheek.

He confidently strides over to the kitchen, ready to try his hand at trying to simplify things for everyone.

“Everyone has two names, huh.”

Twin sapphire eyes look up at him, temporarily sidelined from her mission of eliminating the chocolate dessert in front of her.

“Mhm.”

“What’s mine then?”

“Hm…” she hums in thought, tapping an index finger to her chin. “Mom calls you ‘darling’ and uh… I know auntie Hunnigan calls you ‘Leon’.”

She seems to find an oddity in his names; normally they come in a cutesy and endearing pair, how come his comes with this random name ‘Leon’?

Leon chuckles, taking a paper towel to dab at the chocolate smudged at the corner of her lips.

“Okay, Willow. My real and actual name is Leon, you’re right on that. And mommy has her own too,” he starts off. Your daughter listens intently and it’s like you can see the pieces clicking into place inside her mind.

“People use sweet and adoring things like ‘sweetheart’, ‘sweetpea’, ‘darling’, and ‘honey’ and so much more when they’re talking to someone they love a lot. Using real names is okay but these sweet terms– ‘pet names’– are a good way to let them know that you love them a lot.”

The night ends in clarity and smiles on everyone’s faces; it’s definitely going to take time for Willow to fully grasp this concept but she’s doing her best to comprehend it to the best of her ability. You sit in bed, a battered copy of The Five People You Meet in Heaven in hand, whilst Leon walks around as he gets ready for bed. Your gaze parts with the book in your hand to look up at your husband for a moment, an absent-minded smile on his lips.

“You haven’t stopped smiling since earlier.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I mean– that’s just way too adorable for an average human to handle, right?”

“Mhm,” you agree. “Just look at the way she looks at us, there’s so much love in her eyes! She looks up to us like we’re these totally perfect and awesome beings!”

Gushing over your daughter is one of his favorite things to do, second to none in his list of favorites. Once it’s indulging in your shared cuteness aggression and unending adoration for Willow, he’ll drop anything. He flops into bed, landing in front of you with a thud and a faint groan.

“I know right!” He beams. “Like damn, what good deed did I do in my past life to be this rich in this one?”

You spend the next 2 hours giggling and talking about Willow– how big she’s grown, her growing appetite for veggies, and her school performance.

“She could probably ask the sun to be out for a little longer and it’d listen,” Leon wondered with a proud smile on his lips. “We’re so lucky to be her parents,” he wistfully mumbles.

a/n - as you can see, i changed the format of the fic to switch things up on my account :) how do we like it? tbh, i think i can do better but rn i'm experimenting on what tickles my fancy and looks cute. i'm also considering on renovating my blog theme n whatnot but i'm not rlly decided yet tho it's a real possibility. i was js about to fix up my account fr after this fic is posted but man am i sleepy asf (it's currently 3:05 AM where i'm at) that's it and thanks for reading my fics guys!!! love u lotss

[alevolpe]

I need your most controversial Sailor moon opinion.

Well, hello! You really wanna get me in trouble today don't ya lol.

I am pretty opinionated as some of you might know, but I don't believe I have some REALLY TERRIBLE 'fandom card revoking' opinions, but I do have a couple which I stand by firmly that even close friends of mine disagree with.

I'll give 2 this time.

..

I'll say my first is that I don't like the default belief in the fandom of "sailor senshi = hero, good person who would never do anything wrong unless they are established since the beginning to be evil". I'm married to the idea that senshis are like real people, just cause they have powers and most times they want what's best, doesn't mean they're not capable of doing selfish acts.

With this, I'm mostly talking about the inners and outers not being allowed to act on or follow different moral codes outside of "follow Usagi and believe in everything Usagi believes in" without the fandom being at their throats for it. It's infinitely detrimental to their individuality in the team and honestly.. it's boring! I said it, it's boring af.

Beacause ultimately what you get when you follow this train of thought is 'Usagi and her mindless team of cardboard cutouts' and I hate that. Also. I'm sorry, but Usagi's morality is most often inherently flawed and simply relies on her being Jesus and being able to do anything with 0 consequences. I love her endless empathy and hope, but if the show didn't back her up every single time, it would not work. Uranus and Neptune get so much shit for what they did in S, and don't get me wrong, they ARE idiots, but they also acted in a proprationally rational matter to the situation at hand.

The inners and outers should be allowed to act on their own different morality and beliefs without being crucified for it just because it might not align with Usagi's pure lawful good morality.

A simple example I have is sometimes people criticize art of characters I make looking ominous or 'evil' while in canon they are 'good'. It never sat right with me, sorry.

..

The second one is.. sigh. Listen, I love Usagi, if you don't believe I love Usagi then you are just plain wrong, you are, because I do love her, but God, I'm kind of up to here with the fandom babying Usagi to infinity.

I get it, Usagi is the main character, I'm not taking that away from her (at least not in canon), but the fandom has a way of only really seeing everything and judging everything through Usagi's eyes and only really caring or thinking about Usagi's pain.

Let me give you an example, a lot of the fandom realizes that Usagi suffers terribly from the fact that she is basically responsible for dragging her friends to war and leading them to die for her. It is tragic for Usagi, but only ever stops there. Rarely I see anyone bringing that though of tragedy to the other victims, the inners and outers, it's just about Usagi's suffering for causing her friends' suffering. But.. what about her friends' suffering through their own perspective??

It's tough to explain how I feel about this cause in a way, I agree, we are supposed to feel for Usagi, I feel for her. I get it, but why is it always ever talked about when it's about Usagi.

All of this mainly leads to people in the fandom getting incredibly defensive toward Usagi as a character and attacking anyone who ever judges her character, her actions, or how other characters act toward her.

Like in the anime a lot of the girls, especially Rei, can be quite harsh to her sometimes. An example I see brought up all the time is how, when Usagi lost Mamoru in the manga, the girls stay by her side and all care for her, while in the anime Rei slaps her. But like.. Rei is not wrong, Rei IS being Rei, and you are free to judge her methods but Usagi needs this pushback. She is acting irrationally, and that behavior should not be supported by her team, who is trying first and foremost to not have the world blown up. Could they have been more supportive afterward? Sure, but the fact that people demonize Rei for that slap is really infuriating to see.

[captainlondonman]

SKIN 3 YEARS

Every school has one. A bully boy and his victim, the bullied. At this school it was no exception. Phil was obviously the bully in his year. Rough, well built with muscles in all the right places, couldn’t give a fuck about his class results always dressed in jeans and T shirt and Doc Marten boots.  Most of the other guys in the year kept away from him. No one wanted to be friends with such a jerk, a bully. That only made Phil more aggressive. So he chose his victim. It was obvious. It had to be the bookish Simon, same height but slim built, wavy hair and also someone who seemed to have few friends. Phil knew Simon was his victim and Simon knew he was being earmarked so whenever possible he kept a wide berth and if Simon saw him coming up the corridor he would dive in to a classroom to escape. Little by little the taunting started coming up behind Simon and grabbing his arm tightly so it would bruise, telling him

‘Trying to avoid me you little runt.’

‘Fucking little bookworm’

‘Fucking little mummy’s boy.’

Soon Phil decided a good idea to let the others know so would shout as he passed by Simon. 

‘Who’s a fucking little queer.’

‘A right little fucking bum boy.’

‘Bet you are a good cocksucker.’

No one did anything to help and Simon was too terrified to report.

Phil escalated his attacks and would grab Simon’s books

‘Give me your fucking homework so I can copy .’and would snatch the books and give them back a day later once he was ready to hand in his work. Some teachers wondered how the hell Phil’ s work started to become better but no one sought to question.

One day Phil came up behind Simon and whispered 

‘At break get behind the bike shed and don’t be late.’

Simon was terrified as he would have no one to see whatever Phil had in mind and also he had no idea what he wanted but he knew he had to go there

At break Simon turned the corner and Phil was there legs apart smoking a ciggie.

‘I knew you would come. Too terrified not to eh you little pussy. I need my ciggies so empty your pockets and give me your money. Now

‘I haven’t much on me .’Simon replied sheepishly

‘Get the fucking money out and give it or do you want a thumping.’

Simon dug his hands into his trousers and handed over the few coins he had.

‘Is this all you fucking well have?’

As Phil said this he flung Simon back against the wall and pushed his body up tight against Simon forcing one leg tight into Simon’s crotch.

‘You fucking little wimp. I deserve to make mincemeat out of you. You were born to be a fucking bullied little pile of shit.’

Simon could feel Phil’s breath smelling of cigarette smoke spreading across his mouth. Then Phil moved his head back and spat a great gob at Simon, taking a hand and rubbing it over his eyes and mouth.

‘This is what you fucking deserve you little fag boy.’

Suddenly Phil’s face gave a sneering smile

‘Shit man you are loving this. What’s  this my leg is up against. You have a rock solid boner which was not there a minute ago. You fucking love my leg in. your crotch and my spit all over that face of yours.’

Saying that Phil moved his hand down and grabbed Simon’s cock and balls.

‘A right tent pole you got there Who would have thought you’d have a cock that size. What a pity as you’ll never get to use that up a hole. A right pair of big dangling balls as well. You fucking love me rubbing you up. You’ re a faggot after all. Maybe you should be my faggot . Believe it or not but you have made my cock nice and stiff and once it’s hard like now it needs some action and you pussy boy can ease the pressure inside that dick of mine. Get down on your fucking knees, now!’

Simon knelt his face looking straight at the stiff cock inching down Phil’s jeans.

‘Now unzip me you little prick and get your hand inside to feel that nice stiff piece of meat of mine.’

Simon could not believe that he was in front of his tormentor staring at the outline of cock and his own felt almost on fire with desire. And now he has been commanded to open Phil’s flies and dig in deep to release that thick cock, a cock he had secretly dreamt about and at times imagining had wanked on.

Phil undid the top button to enable Simon’s hand to get in and feel the warmth of the stiff prick. As Simona had suspected Phil was always commando as he had been able to sometimes watch Phil walking down the street and the cock sliding up and down in the jeans. 

The cock flipped out

‘Maybe not as long as yours, faggot but nice and thick. So if you are my faggot you know what to do. Take a good firm grip and move it to that gaping mouth of yours. Bet you have never sucked dick before. Yes?’

‘No.’

‘I thought that but I look at that baby face of yours and know you want to. Just  breathe carefully and start by rimming my head letting your spit slide over it. Once you have my full head in your mouth the rest will come naturally. Trust me. My cock has been in many mouths desperate to take my cum.’

Phil pushed his prick into Simon’s face.

‘Now open wide faggot’

Simon opened and started to rim the thick head with his spit savouring the sense of smell and skin, especially letting his tongue linger under the head knowing from wanking that this was a sensitive part. He was right as he heard Phil groan

‘That’s right you little poof boy now let those fucking lips of yours take in the whole head and I want to feel the edge get into that throat of yours. Shits that’s it, I knew you were a fucking homo boy wanting cock the moment I saw you. Now I am going to slide the full shaft in and get ready to open that mouth of yours wider to take it all, I want to feel it surging down the back of your throat.’

Simon started to choke but knew he could not let the cock out of his mouth so started to breathe and let his spit ease the movement down.

‘Time for me to take control mate. But first while you have my dick in your mouth unzip yourself and take out that cock of yours with your other hand. Don’t let go of your hand that’s on my prick.’

Simons’ cock was almost stuck down the length of his trousers and only with difficulty was he able to push it up until it sprang out and let in spring into the vertical position.

‘You do have a good cock there boy and real 8 incher. Seeing that is just what I need to face fuck you. Now get that hand of yours working that nice big shaft of yours. Bet you have wanked often enough to know what to do.’

Saying that Phil took hold of Simon’s wavy hair and thrust the cock as deep as he could until Simon could feel the bristles of the pubes rubbing against his mouth.

‘Now you just take it while I do the movement and let it slide in and almost out of that gob of yours.’

Holding Simon. tightly Phil started to pummel his cock faster and faster, his breathing quickening with each forced push up to the hilt.

The ferocity of the way Phil was face fucking made Simon’s hand work faster and faster up his shaft. He was ready to explode.

‘I fucking cum first you little shit. Jesus I am cuming’

And with that and a loud groan he let spurt after spurt down Simon’s throat who thought he was going to choke with the amount which started to pour out from his mouth and down his chin. The taste of spunk and the feel of it coming out of his mouth was too much. Simon had never been as hard or as horny in his life and with one final thrust of his hand he exploded his cum between Phil’s legs.

As Phil let his cock out of Simon’s mouth he smiled

‘Better wipe that gob of yours otherwise you will be showing everyone what spunk you have. For a little virgin you learn quick faggot. This has clearly worked for the two of us and gets me to release my spunk instead of jacking off so we will make this a weekly meeting. Got it. And don’t be late or think you can avoid otherwise I will fucking thump you but I think you want it as much as I do.’

Simon met Phil each week behind the shed at school and while Phil bullied Simon in between he wanted each week to come so he could get his rocks off and feel his spunk in Simon’s throat. Meanwhile in spite of everything that Phil did to him he knew he was not just giving Phil pleasure but he own cock was getting all he wanted as well.

On the last day of term  Simon was being awarded The Best student at graduation. Hardly anyone congratulated him, knowing he was the best in the class. Phil looked sullenly at him knowing his marks made him bottom. Simon had applied to University and would off on his 3 year course in a few months after the summer vacation.

As all the kids came out of the graduation hall Phil came up behind Simon and whispered.

‘I want you behind the shed now you little brainy faggot. You may have got all the prize books but I have something a lot better to send you off with. Be there in 10 minutes.’

As Simon rounded the corner Phil stood legs apart smoking a ciggie and looking like thunder.

‘Get the fuck over here.’ This was a different Phil. A nasty Phil and the sight of him was terrifying Simon.

As Simon walked over Phil’s hands came out and shoved the prize books out of Simons hands.

‘Fucking clever clog eh. Fucking faggot got all the prizes, Fucking piece of shit going off to Uni. Suppose you are laughing your fucking head off at me as bottom of the class with no job to go to.’

‘I hadn’t thought like that at all.’

‘Oh yeah.’.

‘Now you can go off and be fucking mister know all with guys just as brainy as you.’

 And with that Phil grabbed hold of Simon and pushed to back against the wall face forwards shoving his face against the concrete wall.

‘That hurts’, Simon squealed

‘Of course it fucking hurts. What you deserve for being so fucking clever. Now raise your arms high.’

With Simon now pinned against the wall, Phil put his hands around Simon’s waist and undid his flies.

‘What are you doing.’

‘Don’t fucking ask. I do as I want, got it.’

Phil then pulled down the rousers and underpants to Simon’s knees so that he had no way of running off.

‘Time I gave you a going away present. A blow job ain’t good enough for you now. You need something to really remember me. Time that virgin arse of yours got a right good fucking from my cock.’

‘No please I cant’ take that prick of yours up me.’

‘You bloody well will and you will feel my spunk all the way up. Take that to Uni with you.’

Simon was terrified to move and knew with his trousers around his knees he had no where to run.

Phil unzipped his jeans, his cock already stiff knowing what he had planned to do and yanked it out.

‘I’ve been fucking wanting my dick inside that arse of yours for a while. Thought best to leave it till we go our separate ways so you have a bloody sore memory of me.’

Phil lets a couple of big gobs of spit drop onto his cock and rubbed them up and down the shaft.

‘Now stick that arse of yours right out. I ain’t playing around with that hole of yours. No foreplay just a good fuck’

As Simon pushed his arse out he suddenly felt the tip of Phil’s stiff cock press against his cheeks finding its way to the hole. His hole reacted immediately trying to close any entry. Phil pulled Simon’s cheeks apart so he could see exactly where his prick was going.

‘Don’t think that by squeezing that hole of yours is gonna stop me. Its’ just gonna make if more painful but if that’s what you want OK. Up to you, faggot.’

Simon knew he had to relax and as he did so, so Phil pushed his head into the hole causing Simon to let out a great sound of pain. Phil put his hand over Simon’s mouth and whispered 

‘You shut the fuck up. Take it like a man instead of being such a fucking wimp. Once I’ve fucked you that arse will be ready for any cock when you get to Uni. But it’s me who fucks you first.’

Still with his hand over Simon’s mouth , Phil put his other hand around Simon’s waist to grab as he started to let his shaft slip inside.

‘A great soft fucking hole you have there. Made to be fucked. Now stop any shouting got it,’

Simon grunted as Phil took his hand away and put his also around Simon;’ waist to allow him to push in and out. As he moved his hand into position he was suddenly aware that Simon’s had a ram rod boner.

‘Got a right boner there. I knew you wanted to be fucked. Seeing it’s the last time let me wank you as I fuck you eh?’

As Phil moved in and out and up and down Simon’s arse so Phil gripped Simon’s rod harder and slipped his hand up and down covering and uncovering Simon’s foreskin with its bright red head, precum oozing out

‘You won’t forget this fuck mate. Take my fucking cock all the way in that arse of yours, move in time with my dick, go on faster and faster. Get ready to take my spunk. I can feel that shaft of yours pulsating ready to burst.’

As Phil gave a final push into Simon’s arse he let out a deep groan and sank his teeth into Simons neck to stop his orgasmic noise. Simon’s head shot back letting out his own noise as he came in Phil’s hand the spunk shooting out against the shed wall.

Phil stood back and forced his still rigid cock down his jeans, looking at the mark he had left on Simon’s neck.

‘You will remember me for a while when that bruises up but most of all you will remember how I fucked your virgin arse. All that sticky cum of yours over the wall can just stay as a reminder of the day I fucked you. Now zip yourself up pick up your books and get the hell out of here. You won’t forget me.’

3 YEARS LATER

Simon returned home after graduating his Uni course with full honours. His parents were away for work for a year so he had the house to himself. Going out from time to time to get food etc he had seen a couple of his classmates, well hardly mates, and they acknowledged him but didn’t bother to ask what he was doing and how Uni has fared. ‘Stuff them ‘Simon said

A   couple of days later there was a ring at the front door and Simon thinking it could be the postman opened the door to see Phil standing in front of him. At first he hardly recognised his bully from school. The guy was now a full skinhead, shaved glistening head. The Doc martens had been replaced with high white laced Ranger boots and he had bleached denim jeans tight against his legs and even at a quick glance Simon had seen the outline of his cock down one side. Obviously still commando then. He wore a black Fred parry and a green A1 jacket. A black leather back pack completed his clothing. If he had looked the bully at school he now looked almost terrifying and not someone you would ever want to cross. Simon’s eyes were out on stalks.

So you are back then. Word gets around. Must say you have bulked out quite a bit. Obviously at the Uni gym. Suits you but all that fucking wavy hair and you are still the same faggot I remember.’

‘So are you not going to ask me in and gimme a beer?’

As he said this Simon started swiftly to close the front door but Phil anticipated and placed his Ranger boot firmly in place.

‘Now that’s not very friendly is it.’ As he said it he thrust the door open almost knocking Simon back against the wall.

Moving quickly in and kicking the door shut Phil took hold of Simon’s shirt and said. 

‘So lets’ go into the kitchen and get that beer. For your sake there had better be a couple in the fridge.’

Simon meekly obeyed his master and took out a beer opening it to hand to Phil. Gulping it down he said

‘I needed that. Right sit down. You and I have business to attend to.’

As Simon sat down there was no where for Simon to go.as Phil opened up the back pack and took out a length of rope.

‘Get your hands behind you over the back of the chair you pussy.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘You will soon find out.’

As Simon obeyed so Phil set the knots in place 

‘You are not gonna hurt me are you? I’ll suck you or whatever you want.’

‘Just shut the fuck up and you will soon see.’

Phil again dipped into the backpack and took out a professional hair razor.

‘Does this give you an idea?’

‘I think so.’

‘It’s time that mass of blond curls left your head. ‘

‘No, no please leave my hair.’

‘By the time I have finished you will have no hair. You will be just like me. Lovely fucking smooth head so flip your head and let me get started.’

Simon knew there was no way he could wriggle out of it and waited to hear the whirring sound of the razor. Within minutes he saw his blond locks fall onto the floor and he could feel so much more air around his head. He knew he was being scalped but was powerless. After several minutes Phil put the razor down and took another gulp of beer. He them took the shaving foam out of his kit and another razor to remove the bits left of Simon’s head. 

‘We want you nice and smooth no doubt there will be a few nicks but that will quickly go.. Coming on a treat now.’

He moved round to stand in front of Simon to admire his work. 

‘At least from the neck up you look like a skin.’

Simon was looking straight into Phil’s crotch and could see a rock hard cock stretching down one side of his bleachers.

Giving his bulging outline a rub Phil said

‘Jeez staring to make be horny. Now for the next bit. I am gonna untie you and then you get down on yer knees in front of me got it.? Don’t even think of doing anything other than I tell you.’

Simon sank top his knees in front of his master his bully.

‘Those nice Ranger boots of mine need a cleaning and I know from your cock sucking days that you have plenty of spit to clean them just as I want . Do the right one first. I want to make sure I can see my face in the toe cap right. Placing both hands on the ground Simon bent over the right boot and started to let his spit flow over the cap licking it and tasting the dirt in his mouth. He covered the cap with his spit.

‘Now let me see what you have done boy. ‘As Simon took his face back and Phil looked down.

‘That not what I call fucking clean you sad faggot.’ Placing his other foot on Simon’s head he forced him down so his lips were pressed against the leather.

‘Now fucking lick and clean got it. ‘

Simon could hardly get his spit out as he boot pressed down harder and harder but he knew he had to keep Phil happy.

‘Let me see now .’Phil barked ‘That’s better now get on and do the same to the other unless you want a fucking bruised lip.’

Simon licked and licked until he was pushed away.

‘Not a bad faggot are you. That’s it got a nice shine on them now.

So next I want you to take my  back pack into your bedroom and I will wait for you. So gimme me another beer while I wait here.’

Simon replied,

‘I have no more in the fridge but let me get you one for the utility room.’

‘Oh my the fucking utility room. Get you faggot. Well go on get and give me now.’

Simon returned with the opened beer and took the back pack.

Once in his bedroom he opened up and let the contents fall onto the bed. It was a complete skinhead gear like Phil’s. He wanted Simon to look like him to be his fellow skin and sub. Seeing all the gear spread out over the bed immediately had Simon’s cock reaching full length inside he jeans straining to get out. He decided not to look in the mirror until he had everything on. It took no time to strip all his clothes off by which time his throbbing cock was almost vertical the foreskin now pulled tightly back.

Apart from the Ranger boots which looked worn, all the clothes were new and obviously bought for Simon. He put on the tight bleachers inching them up his legs no longer the skinny legs of 3 years ago but know showing muscle from workouts which made pulling them up more difficult. The worst part was trying to press his throbbing cock down one leg which just bulged more and more inside a small stain of precum starting to seep through. Then the white socks and pulled them up as high as he could having noted how Phil wore them over the top of the rangers. The rangers had red laces and as it was the first time he had worn them it seemed to take ages to lace up.

‘Get a fucking move on boy’  he heard Phil shout.

Next the white Fred Perry which was a size too small and looked glues to his now bigger chest, his six pack showing through and the nipples he had been cultivating sticking out.

Finally the black A1 jacket and he was complete. Simon was trembling with excitement as he stood in front of the mirror to see his new identity.

Gone was the pretty college boy with wavy hair and student clothing. Gone was the bookish young man. Staring out from the mirror was a skinhead in full skin gear. His shaved head made him look rough, threatening and as Simon curled his lip he could see himself as an aggressor. His bulked up frame made him look tougher than Phil as he spread out his arms and placed them firmly on his hips. From the nearby drawer he pulled out his new toy, a stainless steel knuckleduster and fitted it to his hand. He stood with his legs apart and admired the way the bleachers clung to his muscular legs his bulging cock so rock hard and looking desperate to get out with the precum stain getting bigger by the minute. Shit was he horny.

All was quiet in the kitchen as Sion barged in.

Phil was slumped in the chair out cold

‘Just as I have planned for the last 3 years’ Simon grinned. ‘All I needed to do was show myself around town and I knew Phil would find out. Like a bloody bee to a honey pot. Now time to let him know who can be the boss, the Dom.’

Lifting Phil was no problem for Simon’s new physique as he flung Phil across the kitchen table. Taking the ropes that had been used on hime to be scalped he firmly tied Phils arms to two of the legs and then his legs to the other two. He was firmly under Simon;s control.

Time to bring you round mate and let the show begin. Using both hands Simon swiped Phil across the face several times the face showing red marks with the power of the slaps. Phil came to.

What the fuck is going on

What the fuck is going is that you are strapped to the table and aint going anywhere.

Untien me you fucking little faggot now

Looking at you now I aint any faggot. I call myself Si and at this moment you are totally under my control. You made me a skin and as you know skins take no prisoners. You are now my faggot.

Si lifted his right hand and brought it down sharply on Phils arse. 

Phil let out a shout of pain

‘Get your fucking hand off my arse’

‘Talking like that won’t do you any good in fact I think you deserve a couple of harder slaps.

Si hit again and again as Phil tried to wriggle, his screaming heightening.

‘Just let me go.’

‘Remember 3 years on the last day of school? You were so fucked off at me being the clever one that you said you were going to sort out my Virgin arse. Remember.’

As Si said this he brought his knucklduster hand round to Phils mouth. ‘Now I could really do you some harm  and perhaps I will because its time someone sorted out your Virgin arse. Bet you have never been fucked. You always said I had a good sized dick so now is the time to have it rammed all the way up that tight little arse of yours. And good that those bleachers of yours have a rear zip. Perhaps you have been hoping for a fuck.’

‘Don’t you even think of fucking me.’

‘I’m not thinking about it I am gonna fuck you good and proper and you will feel my balls being drained of all the spunk I have been saving up for you. My cock is rock hard and seeing those nice red cheeks of yours peeping out of the bleachers has made me fucking horny. I’ve done 3 years of martial arts and any attempt to push me around I can break your fucking neck so shut the fuck up.’

Si stood back and plunged his hand into his tight bleachers and wrestled to get his boner out. He could feel the precum still seeping out of the hole. He needed to make that precum full of spunk

Si walked round to the front of the table so Phil could see the fully erect cock.

‘Remember that dick of mine now.’

‘You fucking bastard’ Phil replied and spat out, Si collecting the spit and rubbing it onto his shaft.

‘That was a good idea. Now you can have your own spit up your arse.’

Si returned to the arse end of the table and put both hands on Phils cheeks.

‘Remember you told me to breathe as you started to sink that cock of yours in. Well I’m telling you to breathe carefully as I have a bigger dick and just make sure that hole of yours relaxes cause it will only be more painful for you. Maybe you have been dreaming of my cock all these 3 years.’

Si lined his prick to the juicy hole opening and started to slip the thick head into the hole.

‘Fucking hell I can’t take it, you are too big for my hole..’

‘Relax you faggot. You are going to take every last drop of my spunk.’

Si pushed his moist head into the waiting hole

‘Shiiiit its too big for me.’

‘You didn’t worry about it when you fucked my virgin arse did you. Stop being a little boy and act like a man a tough skinhead and take my hard knob all the way up that juicy arse of yours. I’ll pause for a minute for you to get your breath back, more than you did for me but get ready for the full shaft to slide up you.’

‘I cant’, I can’t.’

‘Yes you fucking can and will.’ 

With that Si slid his throbbing shaft in and in until it was the full way up, Phil scarcely able to breathe. Finally Phil could feel Si’s pubes up against his bum.

‘There you are its all the way up you. A nice virgin arse is no longer and its’ your little faggot that is going to fuck the life of you.’

Si stated to slowly slid the cock in and out almost taking it to when the head was on the edge then would thrust it in as hard as he could.

At first Phil squealed and then started to relax and as he did so Si put his hands around the front of Phil’s bleachers and felt his crotch.

‘For someone who reckons he is such a top and butch and never been fucked that knob of your’s is as hard as mine. So maybe you like being fucked after all maybe me dressed as a skin is making you nice and horny. Looking at you in your full skinhead gear with the arse zip open and me guiding my dick up in full gear is a fucking turn on for me. The more I am sliding in the more I can feel that arse of yours inside wetter and wetter. You are fucking loving this, admit it.’

‘Jesus its amazing.’

‘And its me who has taken your virginity. Think about that with your hard dick straining inside those bleachers. Now let’s get some spunk into you. Raise that arse of yours so I feel my cock going the full way in . take every inch of my fat dick and wait for me to explode insider you.’

Si gripped Phils arse cheeks even tighter and thrust his cock in and out with increasing rapidity.

‘Take all my spunk my little faggot.’

‘Christ fuck me let me have it .’Phil shouted.

I’m cummin let your skin sub show you he’s more of a man than you just now.’

And with that Si felt the spunk leave his balls and flow into his shaft and erupt up Phils arse.

‘Fucking hell take it all .’

‘Jesus,’ shouted Phil, ‘I’ve just cum in my bleachers what a fucking mess.’

Si withdrew his cock with cum starting to ooze out of Phils bum and drip onto the floor.. As he stood with his cock still stiff he undid the ropes tying Phil to the table.

Phil stood up and turned to Si, grabbing him and letting his tongue down Si’s mouth.

‘That was fucking amazing. To have my virgin arse fucked by you is the best. From the first time I had you give me a blow job behind the shed I wanted you and not just as my faggot as I kept telling you. I had to act that way but I wanted you so much and that fuck was the best ever. I hated you going away for 3 years and if you only knew the number of times I wanked myself thinking of that fuck.’

Si smiled. ‘I kept tabs on you all the time and knew you had become a skinhead. It was what I wanted most of all but I wanted you to be the one to make me like you. I had to have my revenge but I also have only wanted you since that first time.’

‘Christ’ Phil said ‘have we wasted 3 years?’

‘No we needed that time to get to where we are now. I’m back in town because of you and I will stay if you want that.’

Phil grabbed Si’s cock and said ‘Of course I fucking want that.’

Si replied ‘I suggest you get out of those spunk stained bleachers and get into the shower. I will be straight in behind you and we will see who does what to each other.’

‘I will be waiting’ Phil grinned.

[one-sunny]

Cabin by the Lake | Just You

10- When Luffy’s birthday turns into a group get away to a small cabin by a lake, you cannot deny his own brothers an invitation. Surely the week long get away would leave a lasting impression with his eldest sibling.

The final chapter everyone 😭 i think it took so long to write bc my brain didn’t want it to be over. but here we are now

Sunday: Just You

Ace could feel his heart hammering in his chest, aware of his pulse thrumming. He was nervous. So very nervous to face you. Scared that you would slam the door in his face.

In spite of his nerves, he presses on. He needs to see you again. Hear your voice. You were so mad at him yesterday and it was driving him absolutely insane. Ace missed you, something that was terrifying in part, it seemed you had some kind of a hold over him. And worst of all? He didn’t mind it one bit.

His feet are heavy against the stairs, echoing through the stairwell, and only working to increase the rapid beat of his heart. Once he reaches your floor, by Luffy’s direction, he walks up to the door. Your apartment.

A shaky breath, hesitation, and Ace surges forwards to knock on the door before he can chicken out. Time seems to slow down as he waits. Then, the door suddenly cracks open.

“What?” The voice that barks is rough with age and entirely masculine. Ace’s eyes snap up to see an elderly man peering at him through a crack in the door. “I don’t want what you’re selling, boy.”

“I’m not-“

“What are you bothering me for?”

Ace swallows hard. You never mentioned living with your grandparents. “I’m looking for someone, she-“

“She? What business do you have with my wife? We have been married for over thirty years boy, you ain’t sleeping with her are you?” The door opens a little bit wider and the man’s frail frame comes into view. He had to be pushing his eighties.

“N-no sir.” Ace stutters out. He had been plagued by nerves until this very moment where confusion pushes through everything else.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m looking for a, uh, friend of mine.”

“If she’s your friend you should know that this ain’t her house. Now leave us alone!” The door is slammed in Ace’s face. Part of him wants to laugh- having a door slammed in his face was certainly not how he wanted the day to go, but he couldn’t be mad that it was by some angry geezer. Another part of him flares up in anger. Did Luffy even know what he was talking about?

Ace checks over the message, sighing loudly to see that he had knocked on the door Luffy told him to. Shaking his head, Ace hits call and waits rather impatiently for the line to connect. Moments later, Luffy answers and he can hear the beginnings of a greeting.

“Luffy!” Ace barks down the line, not giving his brother the chance for the words in his annoyance. “You gave me the wrong apartment.”

Luffy hums in thought, “No, i’m pretty sure that’s it.”

“Unless she turned into an eighty year old man over night, that was the wrong apartment.” He huffs out in frustration.

“Well maybe she did.” Luffy’s voice takes on a defensive tone and Ace doesn’t even need to see his face to know that he’s making that stupid pout. “It’s the one with the colorful doormat. Has like a lake and trees, it’s all orange. Some famous artist or something.”

Ace’s eyes scan his surroundings to find the thing three doors down from where he stood. “Found it.” With the muttered words, Ace hangs up the phone. He takes a moment to collect himself in the very short walk to your front door. Nervous energy consumes him as he moves to stand on that very same doormat that his brother described.

He hesitates for a moment, before lifting his hand and rapping his knuckles against the wood. Then he waits. And waits. And his frustration builds as he stands dumbly in the hallway.

Doubts and anxious thoughts fire off in his mind in the silence.

He knocks again and listens quietly. Nothing.

Then, he is calling his brother back again and speaking as soon as the line connects. “She didn’t answer.”

“She didn’t?” There is a surprised tone to his voice, but that gave Ace a little bit of relief. As air headed as his brother was, he was emotionally intelligent, especially when it came to his friends. Luffy must have been picking up on something with you to make him think you would answer the door. “Oh!” He finally pipes up, making Ace jump as if he forgot Luffy was on the phone. “She might still be at Nami’s, her and Robin stayed there last night.”

Ace pauses for a moment in disbelief, “And you didn’t think to tell me something like that?”

“My bad.” He can imagine the shrug that bounces Luffy’s shoulders.

“Great, thanks anyways.” Ace’s voice is snippy as he hangs up the phone. He wasn’t mad at Luffy- he could never be truly mad at his youngest brother- but Ace hated the situation he found himself in. If only he had just kissed you…

Ace sighs loudly and leans his back against your front door. He makes an attempt to craft a plan in his mind but everything is a muddied mess with the way his emotions run high. With a huff, he drops his head back against the door, eyes squeezed shut.

“Ace?”

His head snaps to attention and his eyes fall on you. Standing before him in an outfit that seemed to be quickly thrown together in a haste to leave Nami’s, and yet, he thought you never looked better. Then, he watches as your arms cross over your chest and a look of irritation flash over your face.

“Why are you here?”

Ace steps forwards, “I wanted a chance to explain.”

“To explain what.” You’re rolling your pretty eyes at him and his heart flutter in spite of himself.

“That,” He pauses, feeling breathless at your presence standing before him. “That I’m an idiot.”

A smile cracks on your face, but you quickly stamp it down. “Yeah, what about it?” Despite the irritated front you were attempting to uphold, your words were still teasing.

He takes another step closer, gauging your reaction. “And I got scared, ya know, of ruining the relationship you have with Luffy.” Your eyes flicker to the floor. “Until he told me I was being an idiot.”

You meet his eye once again, “Really?”

“Really.” He confirms. “I wanted to kiss you that night,” Ace is moving even closer now, heat buzzing over his skin at the proximity. At the comfort and familiarity of it. “That’s all i’ve been able to think about since then.”

A low sigh leaves you and you step around Ace, fiddling with your keys. But you don’t make the move to open the door and shut him out. “It really hurt.” You declare, back turned to him. “I thought that-“ As you turn around, your brow is pinched and a deep frown is on your face. “I tried to push you away and you wouldn’t let me. So I took that as a sign that,” You trail off, shaking your head. “And then i felt so stupid.”

“And I’m so sorry for making you feel like that.” Ace very hesitantly reaches out a hand towards you, gauging your reaction, before gently taking one of your hands. He feels your muscles tense for only a moment, soothing his thumb over your knuckles. “It was driving me crazy when you were trying to push me away-“

“I hadn’t noticed.” You scoff, a bashful smile falling on his lips.

“Yeah, well.” He mutters, squeezing your fingers. “I haven’t stopped regretting it since the moment I looked away. Haven’t stopped thinking about you. ‘Bout how pretty you looked. How bad I wanted to kiss you.” Fingers tip up your chin and Ace is looking back at you with a half-lidded expression. “I’m sorry for being so stupid, doll.”

You hum in thought, “I’m sure it will happen again.” There’s a teasing edge to your voice that pulls a smile to his face.

“Maybe,” Ace rolls his eyes. “But not like this. I never want to hurt you like that again.” Both hands now cup your face, cradling you like you are the most precious thing in the world. It pulls you in closer to him and you cant stop from reaching up to grab the opening of his flannel, squeezing the fabric in your hands.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Ace breathes, eyes flickering down to your lips. They part in anticipation. “Can we try this thing again?”

A grin pulls to your lips, “You gonna be mad if i turn my head?” But you’re pulling him closer by your grip on his shirt anyways.

“I’d be devastated.” Ace confesses.

Then, you’re meeting each other in the embrace that you had both been so desperately craving. Lips locking together, pulled to each other closer and closer. His hands leave your face in favor of grabbing your hips to pull flush against him.

Movements are slow as you pull in closer to each other. A certain level of desperation sparks in the air as all focus was thrust into the feeling of your lips on his. Of short, panted breaths as you remain entangled in the hall.

Neither of you can be sure how it happened, but your back leans against the apartment door as Ace cages you between himself and the cracked paint. The kiss is deep and a groan vibrates through Ace’s chest as your fingers card through his hair.

“Missed you.” Ace groans against your lips.

Your laugh is clipped and cut off by another kiss. “You just saw me.”

“Don’t care.” He kisses you again. “You were mad at me,” Another kiss that has your tongues meeting for only a brief moment. “So it felt like years.” Your laugh is once again cut off in a desperate attempt to feel your lips against his. There is no further attempt at conversation and you can’t be sure how long you stay there, right in the hallway of your apartment.

A fact that neither of you seem to realize, until a loud scoff fills the relative silence. You both pull back, still in a daze, to lock eyes with the elderly man down the hall. He levels his scowl on Ace and he has to turn his head to hold back his laughter. Then his wife steps out and her eyes fall on you. The pair wear matching masks of disgust and you have to hold back a laugh as they mutter about “kids these days”.

Silence lingers all the way until the elevator doors close the couple away from you. Then, Ace’s laugh echoes through the hall as his forehead drops against your chest. Your laugh vibrates through you as well, but it’s a mix of laughter from the looks thrown your way and utter joy of having Ace in your arms.

Finally, your eyes meet Ace’s, shining with adoration. “Do you wanna come in? Before any of my other neighbors catch us?”

“Yeah, but,” His head tips to the side in thought, squeezing you a little bit closer to him. “Then I want you to get ready, so I can take you out.”

“Oh? You asking me on a date, Portgas?”

He adopts a bashful smile, suddenly nervous, and offering you a nod.

“Then ask.” You grin at him.

A laugh breaks through his nerves, shaking his head at you. You were just so cute. “Okay, okay, fine.” Ace straightens to his full height, taking half a step back so that he can look you in the eyes, but with hands that hover over your hips. “Will you go on a date with me?”

Your lips purse, finger tapping your chin as you mockingly hum in thought, as if the answer wasn’t already obvious. Ace rolls his eyes at your little act. “Man, what did I get myself into.” He mutters dramatically, making you gasp and lightly slap his shoulder. “I’m kidding, i’m kidding.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes at him. “I would love to go on a date with you, Ace.” He grins at your words, pulling you into his arms and gently squeezing you against his chest. “Okay, okay. Let’s go inside before my neighbors file a complaint about PDA and kids these days.”

You step away from him and Ace wants to kick himself for how strongly he misses your touch as you fiddle with your keys. Once the door is open, Ace collects your bags and ignores any of your protests, gesturing you ahead of him. With a playful eye roll, you step ahead into your apartment with Ace following close behind.

He quickly drops your bag by the door, kicking it closed behind him, and moving to catch up to you. Ace catches your hand to twirl you around and pulls you close to him, “Sorry, just can’t help myself.” Then he is leaning in to place a gentle kiss to your lips and effectively melt you into a little puddle at his feet. His smile shines bright as he pulls back to look at you, “Okay.” Another kiss pecked on your lips. “Go get ready.”

But the order falls on deaf ears at the daze his lips have left you in. “I, uh,” You mutter in attempt to piece together a thought that wasn’t riddled with Ace. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” Ace steps back with a mischievous grin. ��Dress casual and, uh, take your time getting ready. ‘Kay?”

“Take my time?”

“Yeah, i’m serious.” He confirms, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I half expected you to slam the door in my face so, uh, just go real slow.”

“Yeah, okay.” You laugh as you trail off towards your bedroom, leaving Ace alone in your living room.

Nerves bubble up in your stomach as you begin getting ready for your date. Your date. With Ace. You have to remind yourself to slow down in your excitement to get ready.

When you are finished, you walk out of your room to see Ace leaning against your kitchen island, phone pressed to his ear. He seems to be rambling on about something, a worry line in his brow, until his eyes land on you. His words trail off after this and he mutters something down the line before hanging up. Ace straightens and a flush rises to his cheeks, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You can’t hold back the nervous laugh.

“You look really pretty.”

Heat fills your face, “It’s no different from the stuff you’ve already seen me in.” Your hands brush over your clothing that you are annoyingly aware of all of the sudden.

“I know, but,” His eyes flicker away. “I was too nervous to tell you how pretty you looked before.”

You clear your throat and walk a few steps closer. “So, uh, where are you taking me?” The change in topic seemed to be much needed for the both of you in your newly found nerves.

“Already told you, it’s a surprise.” Ace knocks his knuckles against the countertop. “Let’s head out, doll.” He offers a rather charming smile before gesturing you towards your own front door.

The ride to your mystery destination starts off with the quiet lull of music and light conversation as Ace practically vibrates with his mix of emotions. Though, at one point, he took your hand and some of those nerves seemed to dissipate. After that, it turned to something reminiscent of your drives out in the middle of nowhere, and calm seemed to settle about his car.

Soon, trees fill the sight of the window, perfectly green and picturesque. The local park was abuzz with families and couples milling about, but Ace drives even further in. Well past anything you have seen before.

He makes a turn into an area where the trees grow thicker and begins to slow down. Eventually, the tires roll to a stop and Ace throws you a nervous look. “We’re here.” His voice is breathy as if he had run all this way.

Unable to stop yourself, you lift a hand to his face and gently cup his cheek. “Let’s go.” Your thumb brushes over his cheek bone and his whole body seems to melt into your touch, a pink heat spreading over his face.

“Let’s go.” He echoes.

The two of you hop out of Ace’s car, the man stopping at the front to offer out his hand. You take it with a bright smile and Ace turns to lead you towards the clearing ahead of you. The greenery is near perfect, opening up for a space fit for two and a large picnic blanket nestled in there. With three men crowding the area and chattering rather loudly.

“Oh no.” Ace mutters, when there is suddenly a loud gasp.

“They’re here!” The voice is very distinctly Luffy’s attempt to whisper. Unfortunately, quiet is a foreign concept to Luffy, even as he attempts to shove his two blonde companions away from the picnic blanket.

“Gah, Luffy!” Sanji barks, scrambling to collect a plastic bag before he was tugged out of reach.

“They already see us, idiot!” Sabo attempts to argue to no avail. The three disappear from sight in a loud boom of conversation that completely contrasts any attempts of being subtle. That was your friends for you.

“Ah, sorry about that.” Ace pinches the bridge of his nose, gently squeezing your hand. “I thought they would be gone by now.”

A smile pulls to your lips, soft and full of affection. The effort he went through in recruiting the three to set up cute picnic for you sends butterflies erupting in your stomach. “It’s okay, Ace.”

His head snaps up at the gentle tone in your voice before he breaks out in a smile. “Let’s sit.” He guides you forwards to the picnic blanket to see the many items that were set up- an arrangement of plates, cups, blankets, and a wicker picnic basket.

Ace takes it upon himself to set out the spread, rambling on about whatever Sanji was able to whip up within the very limited time frame. And how Sabo had to track down one of Dadan’s old picnic blanket. And how Luffy managed to find the old basket Garp had from when they were kids. And above all, how nervous he was about the entire situation potentially not playing out how he wanted.

Settled in at his side, you gently take his chin and force his eyes to face you opposed to the plates he was setting out. “It’s all perfect, Ace.” You offer him a sweet smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for setting this up, really. I would have appreciated anything, but this is all perfect. You’re perfect.”

Ace makes a sound in the back of his throat before heat floods up his neck and burns the tips of his ears. “You have a way of makin’ a guy blush, huh doll?”

“Just you.” You grin, making Ace roll his eyes at you.

The nerves seem to disappear and conversation begins to flow easily. Everything seemed to be so easy with Ace. Gentle touches, the sharing of food, and bright smiles that carry through to the meals end.

After packing away plates and empty containers, Ace calls you to his side. The two of you fall easily into each other, as if it was the most natural thing, with your back to his chest and his arms wrapped around you. Ace presses a kiss to the side of your head and the two of you share giddy laughter until you’re eventually able to settle down in each others embrace.

“Ace?” You prompt, nails trailing up and down his arm.

He hums in response.

“Thanks for all of this.”

Ace’s chest vibrates in his laughter, surprised that you thanked him for something like this. For the absolute pleasure of taking you out on a date. “Of course, doll.”

“I was right, you know.”

“About what?” He shakes his head, chin ruffling against your hair with the movement.

“That day in the kitchen, you might not even remember.” You poke at his forearm. “But you’re a really great guy.”

“Wait, you remember that?”

“Of course I do!” You scoff in offense. “I know we had just met and all, but it was the first time that day that I really saw you.”

Ace is silent for a long moment, before he is pulling you in even closer. “Well, i’m glad you forgave me, so that I can be a good guy for you.”

“Just for me?” You laugh.

“Just you.” Ace brushes his fingertips up and down your arm, humming in contentment. His nose nuzzles into your hair and your eyes flutter shut as you relax back into his embrace.

Through all its faults, you were more than grateful for that cabin vacation.

Series Masterlist

tag list: @flooofity @certain-tragedies @zzzzzoey @stuckinmymind22 @kanekisheart @lxpofthegods @weirdothatreads @dailybrekker @spyderst4r @nejilost @thekatisspooky @narnian-neverlander

[radiohao]

you belong with me!

sypnosis: it’s a common cliché — the new girl falls in love with the school’s handsome jock. there’s just oneee little problem; he’s dating the captain of the cheerleading squad! don’t worry though, they’ll end up together somehow.

or in which… you’re the captain of the cheerleading team and your classmate confesses her profound love to your popular jock boyfriend. yikes!

pairing: tokuno yushi x reader (she/her pronouns) ft. sion, aeri, ningning, one (1) mention of tws hanjin LOL

genre: crack, small angst, fluff, soccer player!yushi, cheerleader!reader, uni!au, bulletpoint fic

warnings: baby and sweetheart as pet names, mentions of food (?), cringy

wc: 1.7k

— august 5, 8:00 am

you and yushi are literally the power couple of the campus

the handsome yet quiet jock and the pretty, outgoing cheerleader? a match made in heaven if i've ever seen one

the two of you met in science class when paired for a project back in freshman year

slowly you got close with him and became best friends, an unlikely pairing to some eyes, but it worked perfectly for you two

then in junior year yushi confessed to you

it wasn't anything grand or over-the-top, it was just... a confession

a simple "i've developed feelings for you, and if you feel the same i'd love to be yours just as you'd be mine."

i mean, who could say no to that?

"i feel the same way, ushi."

and now here you two are, starting your final year of university stronger than ever

your couple dynamic started getting more traction when yushi got accepted into the soccer team and you into the cheerleading squad

people started LOVING your little moments together

you and your public affection for yushi, always hugging him or giving him good luck kisses for soccer games

him and his quieter acts of love, holding a matcha latte for you in his hand as he waits outside your class, remembering the little things you tell him

people ATE IT UPPPPP (and so would i)

but since yushi isn’t one for big gestures, you resorted to smaller acts like giving him snacks for soccer practice or making him lunch

he’s more affectionate in private and you always respected that

but things started changing when the new girl transferred

uchinaga aeri

"what a fancy name" you first thought

ningning, your best friend and roommate, introduced you to her

she started getting popular in a way

how could she not? she's incredibly pretty!

very reserved though, only started talking to people in the cheer squad when you invited her to tryouts

she was surprisingly very good! got in right away

you introduced her to yushi because you thought they'd get along since he can speak japanese to her

and you were right! the two immediately clicked

you could tell aeri was very comfortable with yushi because she was much more talkative

they were getting close but you didn't mind! you trusted yushi and you had no reason to be worried

...right?

— october 30

2 months go by and aeri has officially joined your little group

it's you, yushi, ningning, and aeri

things are going well! aeri's coming out of her shell and embracing her true self thanks to ning and yushi

she changed a lot from when she first came

aeri dyed her hair a baby pink, started wearing more statement clothes, etc.

very cute look on her! others think so as well since guys started asking her out

and it's nice for yushi too because he has a friend to talk to in his mother tongue

everything is working out!

things are taking a turn for the better

little do you know

— november 11, 4:31 pm

one day, you head to the soccer field to give yushi one of his favorite potato chip snacks

you can't seem to spot him though

"looking for mr. tokuno?" a voice says

you turn around

oh, sion! (pun intended)

"yeah, i just wanted to give him some food"

"i saw him go in locker rooms, try check there"

you thank sion and start heading there

u enter the locker rooms and slowly peek your head through the doorway just so you don't walk into someone changing LOL

and there you see it

yushi and aeri talking on one of the benches

she's saying something in japanese that you obviously can't understand

your bf looks un-entertained

"you shouldn't be here. not even y/n comes back here." he says sternly

aeri scoffs

"so what?"

excuse me????? your brows furrow and a frown grows on your face

"so that means you should leave." yushi's voice firms

aeri giggles and playfully shoves him, "okay okay, i'll go ushi-kun. let's just talk later!"

when did she start calling yushi by the nickname you had for him?

your stomach drops

why do you feel so nauseous?

— november 17, 2:15 pm

a couple days go by and you're still thinking about what you saw in the locker room

maybe you're just overthinking things

if anything you should be glad that aeri is being all friendly!

you're currently walking up to the rooftops of one of the buildings

it's usually where you and yushi go to eat lunch

suddenly, you see ning and sion running towards you like madmen

what the hell is going ON???

"Y/N, Y/N! baby i’m so sorry-“ ningning starts, tears welling up in her eyes

“honey what’s going on?” you ask as she catches her breath

sion finishes the sentence for her

“aeri’s asking yushi out on a date”

you freeze

what?

sion rubs ning on the back soothingly

“it’s okay, we all know yushi loves her, we just wanted to let you know y/nnie”

“this is all my fault! i should’ve never introduced aeri to you y/n i’m so sorr-“

you pull ningning in for a hug

she gets emotional easily lol

“we’ll take you there if you want” sion suggests

you agree

GET YOUR MAN!!!

— november 17, 2:22 pm

the three of you head over to the soccer field

immediately you see it

aeri is standing in front of yushi near the water jug

she’s talking with what seems like a newfound confidence in herself

the rest of the soccer team is on the benches just watching

what a bunch of chismosos, am i right? (sion takes a seat next to ryo and you sit next to him)

it’s like aeri has no shame in talking to YOUR boyfriend infront of his whole team!

but you also have no shame eavesdropping on their conversation

touché

you can hear aeri’s voice clear as day

“ushi-kun, i just wanted to say that i’ve developed feelings for you. you showed me that change is an opportunity for new beginnings, that being myself isn’t something i should be afraid of, and that loving somebody doesn’t have to be grand or extraordinary, that love finds its way into everyday things and mundane matters. thank you for allowing me to be myself. please let me take care of you properly.”

oh

well that wasn’t what you expected at all

you start to think that her confession was even better than yours

it makes you think back to when you first met aeri

she was so quiet, and now she’s much more comfortable with herself

and it’s all thanks to yushi

maybe she makes him feel the same

you can practically feel your body tensing up awaiting yushi’s response

he stares at her blankly and softly says something in japanese

it's short and sweet

yushi then walks away

the sinking feeling in your stomach tells you that it’s better not to know what he said.

he may be your boyfriend, but why does it feel like you're fighting for something that should already be yours?

— january 8, 11:30 am

it’s been less than 2 months since aeri confessed to yushi

you haven’t brought it up since

maybe it's petty or immature but can you really be blamed?

perhaps isn't even your business to ask

yushi notices you've been distant

of course he does

he just needs to find the right time to talk to you about it

— january 8, 10:56 pm

so this was definitely not the right time

he's practically sprinting to you and ning's shared dorm rn

not only is he out of breath but it’s also pouring rain

horrible timing, he thinks

he arrives at your dorm and knocks on your door frantically

you on the other hand are making dinner

ning's out on a date with some guy named hanjin? you forgot tbh

someone starts pounding on your door like crazy

"DAMN GIRL HOLD ON i'm getting to it!" you shout, thinking it was ningning oops

but you open the door to your very much distressed boyfriend

he's wearing his signature denim jacket with a white tee inside and sweats

and even though he’s basically drenched in rainwater the droplets slide down his cheeks just right and they lay on drop of his eyelashes so beautifully

wow

he looks so pretty ugh no wonder why aeri likes h-

"baby, i'm freezing here."

his voice snaps you out of your trance

oh RIGHT

you apologize and let him in right away, running to the bathroom and giving him a towel to dry his hair

he sits on your couch and you do the same, taking up the space next to him

"why are you here so damn late?” you scold him “it’s pouring out there too! what were you thinking?”

“i know you were there when aeri said she liked me. i know you heard everything. i know you think that i accepted her confession.”

goddamn he NAILED it

you can barely look him in the eyes as you try to respond

“i—“ “y/n.” you look up at yushi, who’s already staring at you very intensely

“listen to me sweetheart, okay?”

you nod (it’s all you can manage to do)

“i do not love her. i belong to you just as you belong to me. i only see aeri as an acquaintance, nothing more. you make me feel safe, comfortable, and loved. you turn my rainy days around and make the sunny ones even brighter. please never think that you will be replaced. the love you’ve shown me is of a price that nothing can buy. i love you, y/n.”

oh

well that wasn’t what you expected at all pt.2

wait, are you crying?

oh yeah we’re crying

hereee we go with the waterworks

you can’t even get a word out because you’re practicing sobbing at thing point but yushi just hugs you tightly and rubs the back of your neck as his other hand is rubbing small circles into your waist

“how do you always know what to say” you ask through sobs

he chuckles

“i can read you like a book”

yushi holds you for the rest of the night

— february 27, 8:20pm

back and better than eva baby!!!

you and yushi are doing much better now, if not better than the beginning of the school year

aeri has a group of new friends now, and both you and yushi say hi to her occasionally, but things have changed

and that’s okay!

yushi’s game against the rival uni just finished

close match but yushi’s team stay winning!!!

there was supposed to be a victory celebration at a nearby restaurant but he wanted to go to his dorm so you agreed

he must be tired

as you enter his dorm you take notice of how everything seems so… sentimental?

candles are lit, warm lighting is surrounding the living room, soft music is playing

what is going ON

you step forward a little bit and there it is

all your favorite snacks set up nicely in a basket, your favorite character's plushie sitting on the couch, a HUGE ass bouquet of flowers, and balloons that spell out 'happy anniversary'

you laugh out loud

he's really outdone himself

yushi may not be someone that loves in public, but when he does, he does it right

— bonus

after aeri confesses, yushi says something in japanese so you can't understand

what was it, you may ask?

"my heart belongs to someone else."

—

author's note: AAAAAAA my first actual fic?? i don't know how i feel i'm not good with words so it's probably booty

please make sure to like or reblog if you enjoyed it and pls be nice or i'll cry :') have an amazing night!

[cloudcountry]

hiiii Auburn!! I saw you opened up some requests and I immediately thought that it would be so nice to see jealous/angsty Ritsu after you return from the mission in ep. 17! Or maybe just how you think he would react to this specific inter-house mission. I am thinking likely not established relationship, maybe heavy pining? (Could also turn into a confession moment???)

I'm kinda thinking out loud in your inbox haha, but this is something I would be interested in seeing and I am hoping it's something you would be excited to write:)

SUMMARY: ritsu is not very happy with the mission they sent you on (without him.)

COMMENTS: THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING RITSUUUU TT0TT I WAS SCREECHING WHEN I SAW THIS AAA

its also kinda funny because i literally . sent a request of this kind of concept to a friend of mine ... we are all hiveminding right now ASGDJAHSGD i wrote this so quick holy shit

The bombardment of texts and missed calls that popped up on your phone after you had regained cell service should have clued you into your business partner’s mood. Usually very effective at communicating, only keeping his thoughts in a single message, he had messaged you multiple times over the course of your mission, inquiring about your current state and sending information he found about recent anomaly cases on islands.

It was helpful and sweet—you simply never received any of it. Ritsu always took such good care of you, even if he wasn’t there to do it physically.

You read through each message with a smile and liked each one with the hearts he usually claimed were unprofessional. Seconds after your first heart appeared, Ritsu was typing a new message.

Come see me at the diner at 7pm tonight. I have much to discuss with you.

Oh no. Your smile falters. Is he truly angry with you? It’s not like you had control over the situation. Texting him back, you explain that the anomaly affected your cell service, and that you would have contacted him sooner if you could.

He leaves you to read.

You would have called him every night if they’d let you. What part of that does he not understand?

You part ways with everyone and make your way to the diner, arriving approximately twelve minutes early. Ritsu sits in his usual booth, empty coffee mug at his side, pouring over his textbook with a furrowed brow.

“Ritsu? I’m back,” you pipe up, clutching the straps of your bag nervously.

“Please, have a seat,” he says, all business and no friendliness.

You sit down, pressing your lips together. He doesn’t look up at you, opting to focus all of his attention on the book instead of acknowledging you.

“If you want to talk to me, then talk to me. I didn’t come here just to sit with all this tension,” you say softly, coaxing him to give you something, anything.

Ritsu clears his throat, finally looking up at you. His face is impassive, but something is wrong—you can’t tell if he’s frustrated or angry. Embarrassed, maybe? Whatever the case, he would no doubt tell you if you kept up the pressure.

“Is it about the mission?” you ask, leaning a bit closer, “Come on, you can tell me. I won’t laugh or anything. Promise.”

“It was brought to my attention,” he blurts, adjusting his tie with a steady hand, “That you went on a reality dating show with our fellow ghouls as contestants to win your heart.”

You nod slowly, unsure as to what about that would make him so upset. When you don’t speak, Ritsu continues, busying his hands with the pages of his textbook, flipping through each one at random.

“Have you become distracted while you were there? It would do you well to not forget our goal of reinstating the Gala, and Sinostra obtaining the Laurel Crown.” he reminds you, almost scolding you amidst the soft humming of the refrigerators in the kitchen.

You hear the question that remains unspoken.

Did any of them successfully win your heart?

You lean back in your seat, sighing deeply in relief. He wasn’t angry with you—Ritsu was just worried that you actually fell for one of them.

What a silly thing to stress about!

“Ritsu,” you smile, reaching across the table.

You grab his hand and he stills his meaningless flipping of pages. You watch his throat bob as he swallows, eyes trained on your hand.

“I don’t like any of them like that. You don’t need to worry about any of the ghouls distracting me from you,” you chastise him gently, squeezing his hand, “You’re my favorite.”

At those words, you have a great pleasure of seeing fire blossom across his cheeks, his hand shaking ever so slightly underneath yours. His chest is heaving and this time you know it’s embarrassment—he’s practically shaking at the praise, even if he's hiding it well.

“Are you positive?” he asks, voice firm as ever but inexplicably soft at the same time.

“Well, I’m with you right now, aren't I? I think I’m pretty sure,” you point out.

His shoulders relax a bit with relief. You open your mouth, then close it, hesitating.

“I would have called you,” you murmur, “If I had cell service. I tried to, actually. So...since I can tell you everything now, thank you for taking care of me. I read through some of the files and articles you sent. You’re quite kind to me, Ritsu. You’re irreplaceable.”

“Then—Well, we should meet tomorrow then, too.” he huffs, fumbling for his recorder (which was undoubtedly recorded the whole thing, and you hope it is so that he can listen to it over and over and know how much you love him.)

Even if you have yet to say it.

“I would love that,” you smile, giving his hand one more squeeze before you pull away, “Don’t forget what I told you. I’ll always remind you, though. If you need me to.”

Ritsu nods far too robotically—it’s as though he didn’t expect communicating with you to be so easy. You just gave in, explaining the feelings he could not reach, peeling over your very rib cage so he could catch a glimpse of your heart.

You hope he noticed how much of it was occupied by him and him alone.

[pomefioredove]

the final act

if you're reading this, then the queue has run out, I've muted my posts, and closed requests for good. important things first: ad perpetuam memoriam (maybe cauldron of the reborn and noble bell, too) will continue, because I like it and have committed myself to finishing it. I was initially going to move it to ao3 but since ao3 is always having some kind of problem, it'll stay here.

aside from that, I am choosing to abandon this blog.

this decision wasn't easy but, well, for the best. for the past few months my posts have not been landing- I've excused this for my series, as I know AU and/or canon-divergent are not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but even my requests have received lackluster responses, which have led me to the conclusion that they aren't being read, except by a few followers (mostly my friends, whom I love). I'm not shadowbanned, and I have over 3,000 followers who are not bots, so it's not for lack of audience.

I experimented- changing formatting, adding more descriptive summaries, updating my graphics, adjusting the queue, writing more, writing less, but with few exceptions, nothing has really worked. I took the month of march off because it was causing me so much mental stress, and since then I've just felt really depressed about it. the disappointing response, negative/rude comments, and expenditure of energy I gave to trying to turn a response, were no help. this is, as I hope you'll understand, disheartening- especially while seeing other writers get thousands of notes for similar styles and lengths of fics. if there were ever a sign from the universe that it's time to move on, that would be it.

I sincerely appreciate the few of you who left kind comments, tags, and asks for me to read- you were noticed, and you are very loved. I tried to respond to everyone I could. many of you will be joining me as I move on to other blogs, some of you will remain, I'm grateful for all of you. the majority of my time here has been extremely rewarding. I've met some terrific people in this fandom.

to those on my other blogs: I'm looking forward to having more freedom to write for you in the future!

to those only here: ...well, there are a thousand blogs just like mine, and if there's anything this experience has taught me, it's that they deserve the attention more than I do.

finally, I don't want to make it seem like this was about notes; some of my proudest works have received very few, it's always been the conversation that mattered (read fandom potluck). I also don't want to make it seem like it was any one person's fault; I know I'm bad at doing romance and don't have a good sense of humor, so my writing has always been about character moments, drama, and angst, which is generally not what people want to read; my only strengths in writing turned out to be my downfall, haha. so I think it's time to move on to projects and fandoms that are better suited to my style and strengths in writing o7

lastly, I've taken down some fics because I got mean comments on them and I'm a sensitive autist. salukes!

[prettiestmini]

SPOILED

A Oneshot ⭑.ᐟ

James Kelly x reader

Warnings: fluff, cuteness, fingering at the end, squirting if you squint, tiny bit of praise.

Dividers not mine! Credits to @princessantisocial (won’t let me tag :(( )

Proof read ! Feedback is appreciated

Work had really been kicking your ass lately, you’ve come home exhausted everyday for nearly two weeks. And James hated to see you work yourself into the ground like this.

It was a very dull Friday, walking into the house and sluggishly kicking your shoes off. You were prepared to clean and cook dinner.. but it was suspiciously clean already.. odd?

Walking into the kitchen in confusion, you saw James with bags of takeout. ‘ What are you doing??’ Eying him suspiciously ‘ What do you mean? I bought dinner’ he shoved a fry in his mouth, seems like he showered already.

‘ Yes.. but you cleaned the house too..’ you were getting skeptical ‘ Okay..? I can clean the house’ he replied in confusion, shrugging.‘ Well yeah but you only really clean it when you did something and wanna apologize for it.’ You looked around the kitchen.

‘What— that was like one time’ James retorted but you cut him off. ‘ Yeah so what did you do now-‘ then he cut you off ‘ Nothing! I didn’t do anything, relax would you? Now c’mere’

You sighed, walking over and standing in front of him. He pulled you in, wrapping his arms around your waist. ‘..So why did you clean? ‘ looking up into his blue eyes, accepting the fry he put in your mouth. ‘ You’ve been tired.. wanted to take care of you today.’

‘ oh.. that’s- thats really nice of you.. but where’s Mallory?’ You hummed up at him ‘ Dropped her off at your moms an hour ago, she’ll be there all weekend.’ He smiled, kissing your nose gently.

You two ate dinner, which was your favorite type of Mexican takeout. But James, being the oddball he was- ordered a burger and fries instead of the actual Mexican food.

When the both of you finished eating he cleaned up and took you into the bedroom. ‘ Get naked’ he instructed, lighting a few candles. ‘ oh yeah? I’m liking this evening already..’ you made quick work of your shirt and pants.

James chuckled at your enthusiasm ,, ‘ Hold your horses sugar, we ain’t getting to those activities just yet..’ he murmured, kissing your temple. ‘ I’m runnin’ you a nice hot bath’ slowly smiling up at him ‘ A bath? That sounds heavenly right now..’ He hummed, ‘ I know it does, a good bath always relaxes you. I’ll even add the oils and stuff you put in mine.’

After waiting awhile you finally sank into the hot bath, instantly relaxing against the porcelain tub. This was exactly what you needed, your muscles loosened up in the water. Turning your head over to James who sat on a little stool.

‘ Thank you.. I really needed this..’ you hummed, ‘ Don’t thank me, gotta pamper my wife..’ he kissed your lips gently. ‘ My gorgeous wife, mother of my daughter, my soulmate, and my best friend.’ He smiled softly, genuine. It even made you tear up a bit.

He was washing your back, and it felt amazing. The sudsy towel rinsing away the dirt and the stress work gave you. This was so refreshing, his hands eventually got you nice and clean. Before helping you out of the tub, wrapping you in a towel.

Walking into the candlelit bedroom, there was a towel laid out on the bed. Looking to the side you saw the heating pad plugged in up under it, some oil nearby. ‘ what is this for?’ Turning to him, holding the towel up. ‘ Your massage sugar, now on the towel you go. Got it real nice and warm from the heatin’ pad.’

Laying stomach down on the towel, it was perfectly warm. Relaxing into it, closing your eyes and waiting for James to start. You could hear his movements, he turned on some nice relaxing music. Strolling over he crawled onto bed and straddled your thighs.

Pouring the oil onto his hands, he leaned down and worked it into your back— extracting a deep sigh from you. His hands felt amazing, just so big and warm. Kneading every knot and sore spot with practiced ease, and you just melted into the bed.

‘ This feels so good..’ you mumbled, completely on cloud nine right now. Eyes fluttering when James kneaded your shoulders, applying the perfect amount of pressure.. ‘ I’m glad it feels good darlin.. you’re so tense’

‘ Mhm…’ you mumbled out, feeling that familiar heat pool between your thighs. It felt so damn good, massages were your near favorite thing. James’ skilled hands smoothed down your back, working in on the muscles just above your ass.

‘ You awake baby?’ He piped up behind you, working down to your ass. Kneading the round globes in his big hands, fingers squeezing and his palms cupping them. ‘ mhm.. yeah’ you had to stifle a moan, hoping he didn’t notice.

His oil clad hands went lower and lower, your pussy was throbbing at this point. But you didn’t wanna ruin it.. not now anyways. His hands massaged your thighs, working them against his hands. He hummed before trailing it up, index finger slowly going down your soaked folds.

‘ Wow.. you’re so wet already baby.. is this for me?’ He smiled behind you, finger tracing around your aching hole.. dipping it in before pulling out. ‘ uh huh.. it’s for you..’ letting out a soft moan at his finger teasing your poor hole.

He chuckled lowly. ‘ I know it is baby.. I know it is..’ his thick index finger slid in to the knuckle, pulling a gasp from you. ‘ That’s it.. want another finger in this greedy hole don’t you? Hm?’ Before you could open your mouth, his middle finger was already sliding right in beside the first one.

‘ Nngh..’ you breathily moaned, hole clenching around his thick fingers. They started to thrust deeper, scissoring you deliciously. ‘ Mmph.. fuck..’ your hips wiggled, but his other hand kept you in place.

‘ that’s my girl.. feels so good don’t it?’ His third finger slipped in, making your eyes flutter shut. Picking up the pace, they curled against that special spot. God the sound was disgusting, noisily squelching around his fingers. ‘ Mm, this pussy is loud tonight huh? Just how I like it..’

‘ Mhm.. feels so good Jamie..’ releasing a high pitched keen as his thumb found your puffy clit, rubbing relentless circles on it. Fingers roughly fucking into you, your pussy was sucking them in greedily.

‘ There you are.. gonna cum for me sweetheart? You know you can do it..’ His voice murmured behind you,, fingers speeding up and repeatedly hitting that spot. His thumb was relentless on your clit, and you felt the rush go down your spine.

‘ Nnnghh.. I’m cumming I’m.. fuck..’ you choked out a moan, gushing all over his fingers. Your eyes rolled back, hole clenching around the digits. ‘ Fuck yeah.. that’s a good girl.. makin’ a mess on me like that..’ his fingers continued their abuse on your hole, prolonging your orgasm until you went limp.

‘ You did so good for me sugar..’ he extracted his fingers from your weeping hole, watching the clear substance drip down onto the towel. Licking his fingers clean, he hummed. ‘ Tastes even better..’ leaning down and kissing your spine.

He leaned over to see that you fell clean asleep, relaxed and content as can be. It’s refreshing to see that soft expression, instead of the hard one you came home with everyday.

Cleaning you up and tucking you in, he pressed a kiss to your temple. ‘ Sweet dreams baby..’ He chuckled while pulling away,, ‘ You’re so damn spoiled.’

Taglist: @speaknow-sw @ysrjune @moonlightkb @hearts4sammonroe @amiratheangel @madsluvsdilfs @alealuvshayden @loliskywalker @haydenchristensenisbae

I hope you liked this ! It was originally gonna be a Drabble but I accidentally made it long haha.. and it seems rushed and I don’t know why but it wasn’t intentional, so I’m sorry about that. But let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist ! Love you and thanks for reading <3

[compendiumcal]

Welp. Since we want to make this public, let's make this public.

I've taken the liberty of blocking out my discord handle as well as that of the other user that's pictured here but please be aware this is not the case in the original post. Our full discord handles are on display and we did not consent to this man posting our private DMs. This was done after he blocked the other user (a friend of mine and a member of my server) and it is my belief that he's posting it under the thought that we wouldn't see it but, surprise, it's been seen.

To keep things brief, this user, Deacon Rayne as he is publically known as on Tumblr and elsewhere, entered our Dragon Age Fanfiction server, Denerim Writer's Cafe, five days ago as of posting this [June 9th, 2025] on [June 4th, 2025] and proceeded to act in ways that made the entire server uncomfortable. This includes but is not limited to: trauma dumping about some very serious subject matter in my DMs without asking, being invasive in multiple people's DMS, endorsing the use of edibles in the general chat, giving unsolicited advice to a room full of writers in a condescending way, fishing for compliments and then crying about it when he didn't get the response he wanted, which ultimately led to my asking him to leave (which you can see that conversation pictured on the left, thanks for that, Deacon.)

More jarringly he was love bombing members in their DMs, offering to buy one person in particular an expensive item and privately soliciting his own writing server as a place where users could "leave their work in a safe environment and come back to it later." He was caught posting AI content and when asked to remove the photos made a big to-do about how his "friend" made the edits for him and he had "no idea" they were AI despite there being an "ai" logo in the bottom-right corner of each photo.

I was fine with privately reaching out to mods of other DA servers to warn them of this behavior but since we want to leak and dox not only my messages but other server member's then we'll carry on in the public eye. Furthermore, I'm not sure what Deacon hoped to gain from posting these when all it shows is him being aggressive and someone corroborating that behavior. It looks equally bad when the pinned post on his blog is about him being banned from the Official Dragon Age server for much of the same reasons as I mentioned above.

So, in summation, this is my warning to other Dragon Age-centric servers, if you see this individual in your server I would highly suggest banning him. He is not a safe or trustworthy individual. This post has been reported and I've blocked him but Tumblr is notoriously unhelpful in post takedowns so we'll see how that shapes up.

I do ask that no hate be sent to this person or any parties mentioned in this post but just to be wary and protective of your spaces.

Thank you for your time.

[thelemoncoffee]

saiouma plural boyfriends au?

i'm not plural, but this idea was suggested to me by a plural friend of mine in the saiouma server, so im kinda following their lead here, bear with me

the idea is basically saiouma are both plural and they're trying to navigate their relationship while also managing the chaos that is their psychological states and all the shit their headmates might bring to the table.

one of the suggestion i was given was specific to roadtrips, but imma broaden it out to be used however- that being whenever saiouma are trying to plan something out to do together, their headmates get very nosy and decide it's my turn on the planning and front mid convorsation to get their say.

Kokichi's headmates being- well- Kokichi's are probably more obnoxious about this kind of stuff than Shuichi's, but he's also struggling to keep them from butting in where he really doesn't want them to. case in point he has to literally beg one of them to not embarace the whole lot of them by flirting with Kokichi pre-relationship when he fronts cause that one specific headmate is where most of his confedence is stored, and the others will all simply just perish in a hole somewhere if he doesn't shut his trap. he probably ends up being the one to shoot their shot with Kokichi in the end cause the others chickened out

there's also ofc the shenanigans of how long it might take them to realize the other is also plural in the first place, and the subsequent attempts to sort out who's fronting when without asking. i refuse to believe that if either of these fuckers were plural they'd actually ever tell anyone, they have different reasons for being cagey about it but neither say a peep till someone catches on and asks about it. this would result in one hell of a game between the two mental councils we've got going on where they try to figure the other out without asking. If you thought the mindgames were bad when they were only one guy each? get ready for the clusterfuck that is multiple headmates squabbling with one another trying to puzzle the other system out.

another concept that was brought up was that some systems can't actually fully communicate with one another mentally, so they need to do shit like leaving each other notes to communicate. when i heard this the first thought that came to mind was Kokichi being like this because it adds an extra layer to him- he's a very cagey person as is so it feels like it'd make sense for the barriers between his headmates to be denser. it'd make for an interesting scenario where his headmates communicating through notes would leave him both more exposed to others if they got ahold of said notes, and more cryptic or suspicious to others who might see him frequently writing stuff down and then gets all cagey when they try to ask

i think this is about as far as i can get on this with my limited knowledge of systems, maybe this will inspire folks with headmates to project their systems onto saiouma in a silly manner.

at the very least i hope my singular ass didn't botch this prompt- do let me know if i misportrayed or got anything wrong, i don't want to spread anything harmful

[bluedandylyon]

Rewatch Rambles (tm)

Season 1

In the Shadows of Mystacor

aka the gaslighting episode!!!!!!

If you saw me skip System Failure no u didn’t. (Sorry it’s like one of the only episodes that I just can’t stand on rewatches, corrupted Adora is only funny on White Out bc she basically becomes a drunk dork) 

Pleek, Bow looks so in love with Glimmer, I can't take it.

Both Bow and Glimmer react in a bit of an exasperated way to Adora's "paranoia" (in air-quotes bc as much as Adora is hyper-vigilant in an unhealthy manner, her paranoia is correct here. These feelings were probably always warranted in the FZ, which fed into them more once they were confirmed Adora was in the right for being paranoid. Basically creating a very unhealthy loop).

Anyway tangent aside, I meant to say that Bow and Glimmer's reactions probably mean that Adora has been doing this since she got to Bright Moon and are starting to get irritated with her.

Man Glimmer’s kinda mean to Adora when she’s really anxious, u can see her comments really hurt her bc they really don’t take her seriously, which like, makes sense bc they don’t know how SW or the Horde is like but damn, maybe cool off a bit????? Y’all have no idea what the Horde was like. I bet that Adora really missed Catra in moments like this, she was the only one who really understood. 

But also Adora is SO bad at communicating, so it's very likely that she hasn't really said much about the Horde in general.

Adora adopting Catra's go-to pose when she feels vulnerable PLEEK.

Maybe I'm just coping and they always animate characters making this same pose when they feel insecure/vulnerable but I don't think so?

Girlie this is not the flex u think it is, please get that smirk off your face. (The way she is so proud of herself bc she was absolutely praised for this back in the Horde, god.)

Adora's like whoa dude why is this stranger hugging Glimmer. (because she doesn't know what an aunt is).

Which is also important to talk about. Adora can't stand not knowing things, which is why she pretends she knows what a party is, and an aunt is. She was probably punished if she didn't learn fast enough, or didn't know the answer to something, so Bow and Glimmer actually letting her not know things and show that it's okay, is very healing for her.

This is a very important episode for understanding Glimmer as well. She parallels Adora in the sense that she also feels that she has to bury her emotions with others. With Angella, it's because she feels like she is letting her down: she feels like her powers are weak, and she is not a good commander, so her mom is probably disappointed in her.

With Casta it's more like she is an extremely passive aggressive person and any boundary she tries to place is disregarded and flipped onto her, so Glimmer is put in the position of comforting Casta after she tries to put boundaries. So Glimmer simply bites her tongue and doesn't speak her mind.

Casta is honestly a very toxic family member to Glimmer very often. God she reminds me too much of some family members of mine. They like to act like they're a safe space to talk about your issues, but in reality it's just easier to pretend that everything is fine and agree with everything they say, because when you DO bring something up, they just guilt-trip you.

Bow is right, like he doesn't want Adora to feel left out and to not even have the option to go to the eclipse ceremony, but I also really understand Glimmer. Like, again. This is not a healthy family member to be around. Glimmer has probably talked about how uncomfortable she feels around Casta sometimes, due to her passive-aggressive behavior. And I would also feel very betrayed if my best friend, who knew this, did not back me up when I said I did not want to spend more time with her.

I think Adora defaults to trying to make adults like her bc of her relationship with authority figures. (And she doesn't understand the context of why Glimmer doesn't want to be around Casta.)

Actually I can see it as her thinking that Casta's behavior is normal bc Shadow Weaver is also passive aggressive with her, just in a different way.

SW does not do the joke-filled, self-deprecating passive aggressiveness, hers is more like thinly veiled threats and belittlement/condescension ("do not let this happen again" in a sweet voice to kid Adora, "she was always [paranoid] like this" talking to Glimmer about Adora as if she's not in the room)

Whereas Casta is more victim playing, guilt-tripping, resentment and insinuations. ("why are u visiting, oh is it once in a blue moon already?" "don't you want to spend more time with your aunt?" "I certainly don't want to waste your time")

Oh god Castaweaver's communication style would be,,, a lot. They literally interact like bitter ex-wives when they do interact. (I ship it, but oh god would they be TOXIC without any therapy skahdka)

This is literally what it feels like when non AD(H)D people tell me that sitting down with my eyes closed is the only way to meditate. Like PLEASE let me move. My life changed when I realized there were movement meditations out there that actually worked.

These gender neutral swimsuits mean everything to me.

I mean I love the transmasc Bow hcs but since Nate Stevenson drew Sea Hawk and Micah wearing these style of swimsuits for the 5th anniversary comic, I also think these are just regular swimsuits on Etheria which is so cool tbh.

Oh yea so as I said in the beginning, Adora has absolutely shared NOTHING about her past. She has probably talked about the Horde's tactics and stuff but not anything personal. She absolutely feels guilt about it and feels responsible.

The fact that Glimmer says “mom stuff” to the things Adora says (SW taught me how to read, tie my boots, subvert the enemy and be victorious in battle) is so sad. I like how they integrate being raised during a war in subtle ways like this.

Bow is such an awesome friend to Adora tbh. He validates her feelings and asks if her way of “relaxing” - hitting things, would go better.

The way Adora runs towards Catra's voice to reassure her RAH

It's really sad and upsetting that Catra does end up using this exact language with Adora down the line. Actually SW probably used the same phrases Catra told Adora when they argued back in the Horde as a reference for this.

Shadow Weaver uses sooo much touch as part of her manipulation tactics. She knows how touch starved people in the Horde are. But Adora is better at looking thru this tactic than Catra, and I think it's because she is not as touch starved as her + she has people in her life now who are showing her what healthy relationships (and physical touch) look like.

I wonder if the forehead touch is actually something she saw Catra and Adora do and that's why she uses it, or is it the other way around. Forehead touches being used by SW and them reclaiming it for themselves.

I'm really glad Adora is already realizing that the conditional praise SW gave her is not love. This was a person who very recently thought that there was no manipulation in the Horde at all, so this is is a huge milestone for her.

The parallels between Light Spinner and here.

Interesting difference in words. Adora's "cruel" vs Catra's "weak". The line right before this one, Catra asks "what could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?" Which means that on some level, she does believe she deserves the treatment, bc there MUST have been a reason, right? There must be something she can fix to get treated right, otherwise there is something inherently wrong with her and she doesn't deserve love bc of it (which is what SW always told her).

She is not seeing SW as necessarily wrong or cruel. Especially bc SW justifies this abuse by saying that she just was preparing her for the world, as if she was just expressing a harsh truth Catra did not want to hear.

Catra instead uses the word "weak" to describe her, because if there is no love that she deserves, then there is only winning and losing and your value is tied to whether u can succeed or fail.

It's also interesting that Shadow Weaver laughs when Adora says "I'm nothing like you" vs in Light Spinner when she responds "oh but you are like me".

Also the fact that Catra doesn't say the "you used me" line until later, because she really wanted to believe this was a genuine act of kindness.

I can only put like 2 more images on this post sahkdkh otherwise I would put more, but I love how well this show portrays manipulative parents: SW runs through every tactic she has here: praise, belittlement, false kindness, preying on Adora's insecurities.

I also LOVE this shot wow. SW is the one preventing Adora from reaching the "light" of her self-worth and power.

I find it really sad that although she has no explicit power over Adora anymore, her teachings are so internalized that it still affects her until the end of the show. It just means a lot to me that this show understands relapses and how mental health works. Just because you are aware of something, it doesn't mean it will not come back, or in a more implicit way that you're not fully aware of.

Trauma becomes a part of you and your behaviours, even without that person there.

The way she is absolutely thinking of Catra here :(

Now THESE were rambles, damn. We're getting into the big leagues now. You know what's next? PRINCESS PROM BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

STRAP IN CUZ I GOT A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT EPISODE.

[deveondog]

But nothing can capture the sting.

Title from Gigi Perez's, Sailor Song

If you thought being in twisted wonderland– a world full of fantasy and fun, would help your mental issues. You'd be very wrong.

Cw: Depictions of self harm and mental issues. This is also very self indulgent. Not beta read

Twst gender neutral reader insert, very short

The first week or so was fun, getting to see an anomaly called an "overblot", it was so cool in your eyes.. Of course you felt bad for the boy stuck inside his own head but you couldn't seem to care in the moment. He looked so hypnotic, you wish your phone worked still so you could take pictures of him and draw him later. But after that was solved the world got.. boring. It fell into a routine again. Just like your world.

Get up, get Grim up, get ready for school, go to school, most likely end up in trouble for something you didn't take part in, end the day, repeat.

Same.

Old.

Routine.

You found yourself on auto pilot most days. Hell, you didn't even have a phone from this world yet so you couldn't even distract yourself for a few hours. It all felt so mundane and dull. You found yourself hoping something would go wrong. Like an explosion in alchemy or a simpler, special hands on lesson in history. But nothing. You stopped paying attention in class, not even fully there. Your freshman friend group had asked you if you're ok but honestly, how do you explain "this world is just as boring as mine?" when theres so much more to this one? so you settled for a basic "Yeah i'm okay! Sorry to make you guys worry hah."

Eventually you found yourself in your head again. Always there. You barely spoke unless asked something. You were in a bad place and you knew it. But you missed this feeling all too much. The isolating feeling of being on sad and empty. It was like a drug to you. Back home there was an incident with your school so there you had to start taking meds to help your mood stay stable. But here? You don't even know if those exist, and you couldn't be happier. Everything got worse after the second overblot. You felt the same feelings you had previously, 'He looks like he's in so much pain, but it's so beautiful..' you barely heard yourself say. The image of the second prince and his phantom burned into your head like a drill on fire. Beautiful. Bewitching. Alluring.. But like the other one, you were force to bring him back. You sometimes wished someone would help you..

How did it get worse? Well, now you often found yourself looking for sharp objects. Broken glass, a kitchen knife, a small pocket knife. Anything that would make you feel something again.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

FiveSixSeveneightnineteneleven.

Twelv—

You stopped.

Why were you doing this again?

You want help right? attention? thats why isnt it?

You want someone to look past your mask and see.

So you did this in hopes someone would help.

But no one ever looked far enough.

Your Third overblot in and everything just looked ugly. Foul. Plain even. You were to used to it at this point and even overblots didn't look like they did when you first came to Twisted wonderland. Sure, he was a gorgeous man. His overblot was no less appealing to you but.. you cant find it in yourself to look past the outside anymore.

Your thighs are covered.

You're running out of room..

Left shoulder.

Full.

Chest?

It's empty. why not?

It feels to good to stop.

You cant pay attention in class anymore. Your professors have pulled you aside and asked whats wrong "It cant be easy. Being in a world of magic, when you yourself never knew it existed." one of them said to you.

If only they knew.

A/N: um hi, this is awkward.. i really have been wanting to write some self indulgent twst x reader but this was just a full in vent it feels like, so sorry?? unless u enjoyed it.. thanks

Hopefully more x readers that arent this depressed to come!!!