#but that’s what I like personally I feel like If I don’t see the characters talking like normal people I can’t connect with their

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

424

All right, listen. It’s pretty damn funny that two weeks ago I posted all like, “oh I don’t really comment chapter-by-chapter, I’m waiting to see what happens next,” but this one broke me.

This chapter was everything I wanted for bkdk, and it’s so much more tender than I ever dreamed it could be.

This post is not going to be like most of my posts, because I am a flood of emotion. If you’re wanting some detailed, well-researched analysis of this scene, that ain’t coming for a while.

I don’t have some kind of comparative linguistics to show you. I just have my visceral reactions as someone who speaks Japanese and has absorbed Japanese media for many years. I have shared my heart with others in Japanese, I’ve sputtered out words between sobs and felt the many kinds of comfort different people try to offer. I have comforted others who let themselves be vulnerable with me.

In all these moments, just as in English, I wondered if my words and feelings reached them. Each time, I felt the warmth of connection when they looked at me, and I decided that they knew I did my best. They accepted me, even if it wasn’t perfect.

I’m gonna tell you the truth, and I wouldn’t normally say this so directly, but it matters to me: the fan translation for this specific scene is not good. The tone is wildly off in some ways and it outright omits a number of very important words.

The official translation gets so much of it right.

But that’s not really what I want to talk about right now. I want to talk about how people are reading this scene.

I have seen a ton of, frankly, oblivious interpretations of Izuku’s side of things.

Listen to me. Izuku is not making fun of Katsuki for crying, he is not telling Katsuki that crying isn’t like him, that isn’t in the text at all. He is not rejecting Katsuki’s feelings, or belittling them, or ignoring them, or any of that.

Izuku has seen Katsuki cry in-canon a number of times, but every time it was over his own personal failures, and the frustration, anger, guilt, and grief associated with them. We see it in the aftermath of Deku vs. Kacchan 1. We see it during Deku vs. Kacchan 2.

Izuku is shocked to see Kacchan cry because this is the first time he has cried for Izuku.

When Katsuki apologized in 322, he looked Izuku in the eye and told him his feelings with conviction and poise. He was gentle and vulnerable, but strong, because he was asking Izuku to trust them and rely on them. To come back with them and believe in them, like they believe in Izuku. He bowed his head to show his remorse. He caught Izuku when he fell, and he accepted Izuku’s own apology.

He embodied dignity, sincerity, and strength of character. He was a true hero.

This?

This is the raw, honest sorrow of a young boy. It is a tender, earnest, unguarded display of how much Izuku means to him.

These are the tears you shed for someone you cherish. These are tears for when you think you are losing something you can’t live without. Because Katsuki isn’t just crying for the loss of Izuku’s dream—it’s their dream, the future they dreamt up together as kids.

Izuku is almost pathologically incapable of understanding how other people see him and feel about him, but this is unmistakable. He is stunned because there is no other explanation.

There is unmitigated heartache and longing at the core of Katsuki saying, “I just thought somehow we would be together like this, competing and chasing after each other, forever.”

And Izuku is reeling, but so, so touched, and filled with fondness. Look at how his shock shifts to this overwhelmed, affectionate smile.

He’s right—this isn’t the usual Katsuki, and that is precisely why it means so much. We as the audience have been privy to Katsuki’s feelings, but until now Izuku himself has never really grasped the depth of them. This is all the tenderness Katsuki has kept locked up inside, and he is letting Izuku see it for the first time.

To see Kacchan—strong, fierce, and absolutely unstoppable—shed these innocent, helpless tears for him and tell him through sobs that he wanted things to stay this way forever, I can’t blame him for being blown away.

I think Izuku expected Katsuki to be shocked and a little sad that he gave up OFA, both for Izuku’s sake and because it is the legacy of their hero. Before Katsuki even starts crying, Izuku has this small smile on his face, like he was ready to reassure him that he had made peace with his own choice.

But he clearly didn’t expect for Katsuki to weep openly in front of him about it or to confess to wanting him by his side. Izuku had so enjoyed just being allowed near Katsuki, allowed in his life at all—to think that Katsuki could want the same and want it this much, to the point that he worries that things would change, that Izuku would abandon him or deny him? How could that ever be?

In what world could Izuku ever stop chasing Kacchan?

Izuku is a bit of an idiot. He has always thought that Katsuki understood how much he cared for and admired him—that’s why he is so shocked during DvK2 to hear that Katsuki thought he looked down on him for years. Izuku thought Katsuki understood his feelings and simply rejected them.

The way he loves Kacchan is natural and unquestionable. Even now, he can’t understand how Katsuki doesn’t know. It’s baffling to him.

But he still accepts Katsuki’s vulnerability and responds to the intimacy.

This is such an affectionate, loving thing to say. Izuku is being so sweet. I cannot convey to you strongly enough how Izuku telling Katsuki, “C’mon, stop it, this isn’t like you!” reaffirms their closeness.

If Izuku had not said this line and instead skipped straight to this nervous, awkward little attempt at comfort here:

It would have read as so much more distant.

With his tears and his confession, Katsuki pleads with Izuku to not leave him. To be with him always.

And in response, Izuku unabashedly stakes his claim on their bond by being bold enough to affectionately scold him and even assert authority on what kind of person Katsuki is. Remember these?

Chapters 202 and 319

This is such a staple in Japanese media for showing close bonds. Your loved ones know you. They tease you. They scold you. They have that right. You gave it to them.

The people you love cheer you up by reminding you that you’re strong and brave and that even if things feel hopeless and like you can’t go on, that they know you can. Everything will be okay, and they know so because they’ll be right there with you. Of course they’ll be there.

Symbolically, throughout the series, Izuku’s response to Katsuki trying to be closer to him has always been: “Of course.”

He has always accepted Katsuki as much as he is able to, as much as he had awareness for. He is wildly lacking in self-awareness, so it’s certainly not perfect, but by god does he try.

What Izuku is really saying is a mixture of “Really? You want that, too?” and “Don’t be silly!”

One part is him being shocked and touched; the other is him being absolutely certain of his own heart, and showing it as best he can.

He does get flustered and self-conscious, though—because it’s overwhelming to see Kacchan this way, and this is kind of new territory for them. So he switches tactics to reassure Kacchan about how things are now, and make sure he doesn’t feel embarrassed about this outburst. He still has the embers, so it’s okay for now. And their bodies are weak, so of course their heads will be in a bad place too, it’s easy to get low spirits. Of course Katsuki would be feeling vulnerable. It’s normal.

He gives Katsuki so many things here. He gives him as much as he can.

Izuku doesn’t know how long he’ll have the embers for and, frankly, he doesn’t have any guarantee that he will be able to satisfy this longing of Katsuki’s after he loses them. This, too, is a staple of promises in Japanese media: “I don’t know if I can satisfy you, but I want to try. I hope you can accept me.”

Things will be different—the future is always uncertain, now more than ever for their world. But what will never change is what they feel in their hearts.

After this scene, I honestly don’t care if we get something other people see as “bkdk canon.”

What Katsuki says is as good as a confession to me. What Izuku says in return is genuine and pure. This is a messy pair of teenage boys figuring out how to reach each other with words, when they have always been so damn bad at it. This is the two of them both reaching a new point of intimacy and reaffirming everything that came before.

[thefiresofpompeii]

another really well-designed visual storytelling element of dot and bubble is the decision to have the fifteenth doctor star in it wearing his “doctoriest” costume yet. doctor outfits vary, of course, but a unifying trait is some kind of suit/smart-casual style and long jacket — subverted in many cases, obviously, but even thirteen wears the long hoodie and suspenders, and twelve’s punk fits still follow roughly the same template, nine has his leather jacket doing the job — whereas fifteen has most noticeably stepped outside that mold for the past few episodes, starting with the kilt and open-shouldered vest (!) in TCORR, then the t-shirts and, in general, far less rigidity.

but in Dot and Bubble, you take one look at this man and know: he’s the Doctor. which is why it creates such a powerful feeling of juxtaposition — all this ‘Doctor-aura’ posturing that usually works on side characters straight away completely fails to have any kind of effect in the face of unabashed, impenetrable bigotry. the clothing is a kind of uniform, it provides reassurance that this man *is* the doctor, that he’s come to rescue you, that he’s the same person he’s always been. but not to the residents of finetime.

since time immemorial (the second doctor’s era, but maybe even earlier, i haven’t seen much hartnell so correct me if i’m wrong) the doctor’s been asked — “why am i talking to you, why am i telling you my secrets?” and he’s always replied that he has a “face you can trust”. it’s time lord magnetism. people are naturally drawn to him. he commands a room. people begin to follow his orders because they know on some primal, innate, subconscious level that this entity is going to help them survive and make their existence better.

which is why it’s so jarring when they don’t. the racism, privilege and prejudice that clouds their eyes is genuinely so strong that it almost works like a perception filter, blocking out the doctor’s natural charisma, his bottomless kindness, all of the superhuman qualities that make him irresistible. they don’t see the charming 2000-year-old Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey that is going to “save their lives and everyone else’s”, long jacket fluttering out behind him as he runs, holding his hand outstretched like a beacon of hope. they see a Black man and nothing else, and that puts him beneath them no matter what he says, no matter what he does, how he proves that *he’s the Doctor*. to fascists, race stands above everything. you can be accomplished, talented, wise, clever, brilliant, but to them, the simple fact of the colour of your skin renders you unworthy. and that’s why they’re beyond saving.

[gojoroui]

POPS IN AND SHAKES YOU

BAMBI. you are the next one on my list to convert to a hsr / genshin papa enthusiast >:)

bambi…. do u have any thoughts abt hsr and genshin papas (twirling my hair as i type)

໒꒱ ‧₊˚ HONAKI STAR RAIL MEN AS DADS — VARIOUS HSR.

ft. jing yuan, blade, dan heng, aventurine x fem! reader (separate)

content. literally so much fluff u can consider ssfw (super sfw), BUT is kinda suggestive, established relationship (marriage), dan heng’s part is slightly il dan heng, lots of mentions of pregnancy, parental au, somewhat a headcannon w little blurbs in between !!!!, lots & lots of kisses, pet names used for reader, not proofread

notes. IM SO SRRY IT TOOK THIS LONG; hopefully i cooked/redeemed myself w this 😞🙏 made a specially for @neuvistar — maryse !! i also made the writing smaller bc i don’t want it to look longer (srry if it’s hard to read :’)) i doubt myself w this idk if it’s even good (i cut off half of the characters i was gonna write bc i honestly idk 😾 & i did some of them dirty IM SORRY) </3 but i actually do have thoughts, but i hate when i have smt in mind & i js can’t seem to write it down SHAKES YOU IN FRUSTRATION

JING YUAN — is literally father and daddy coded you cannot persuade me that he isn’t (i will throw hands at you) he’s super sweet and gentle with you before and after your pregnancy, he’ll actually probably treat you the same after you get your children — although maybe he’ll be more patient. overall he’s on the chiller dad side. personally, jing yuan would naturally know how to handle his children even when they’re a few hours after birth. he would cradle them with so much care and gentleness like your baby is made of fragile glass. but what’s to expect? he has yanqing to deal with in the first place.

JING YUAN — would be the man to kiss your forehead multiple times during pregnancy, he’ll actually transform into a male wife, he’ll also go as far as canceling all of his meetings and not give a damn about each one, even if you tried telling him to; he’s stick by your side like super glue. he’s SO reassuring. it’s a shame fu xuan had to deal with a man like him, he’ll never focus properly even if he went to work. all he has on his mind is you and his soon-to-be little versions of you and him.

“take it easy, love. i’ll be right by your side if you need me.”

JING YUAN — who would and will have two daughters, he’s such a girl dad i can see it. i feel like he wouldn’t (??) have twins, just like one child at a time, a very supportive dad. he could easily cheer up his daughters anytime, like when they trip, fall, scrap their knee, need help on homework, need assistance on changing, and so much more.

JING YUAN — who takes naps with his daughters anywhere, anytime. his daughters definitely inherited their father’s love for sleep (and his lazy personality), they enjoy sleeping just like their sleep deprived father. you’ll as often walk in on the three sleeping together — the children wrapped in jing yuan’s warm, muscular arms. unfortunately, you go a long way just to wake up your husband, what makes you think waking up your husband and two more lazy children that have the same ego as their father help?

“mommyy… 5 mor’…”

“mhm, what she said… just 5 more minutes, darling… how about you join us..?

JING YUAN — spoils his daughters. he doesn’t spoil them too much, or else they’ll grow up to be greedy, so he’ll spoil them just a right amount that they know how to behave properly when receiving something thoughtful. he cherishes the moments he gets to spend with you and the children together — he occasionally schedules times so he can get home at a specific time to spend with his family. eating dinner, playing games, and just enjoying his family. on rare occasions, his girls will wake up early and even come to your’s and jing yuan’s bedroom to wake you two up in the morning! leading to a huge cuddle session and cute babbling from your mix of you and jing yuan.

BLADE — is quite the dad, actually. he obviously won’t show it, but he’s in between being extremely nervous and extremely excited on being a dad. he’s not sure if it’ll be worth the shot even being a father, due to all of the trauma and greif he’s had in his life. but after he met you, he’s started to diminish his need to disappear. additionally, you’ll be there to reassure him.

BLADE — is a very good father. like before, he’s nervous, but he has soft spot for you — which means he has an even softer spot for his own children. he’s a girl dad; one daughter and i can see it. he takes REAL good care of her when she’s just minutes out the womb. just the way blade’s eyes softened so much and his mouth slight gaped can tell how blade sees his beautiful daughter. the man to tuck his girl’s stray hairs out of her face and kiss her face afterwards.

“she looks just like me..”

BLADE — who's so gentle with his daughter. despite being a wanted criminal who fights with much skill and discipline, it’s a true surprise to see him so vulnerable while using his rough hands to softly cradle his daughter who’s ten times smaller than him. he’ll let his daughter play with his bangs and long luscious hair, even if he has to brush it all over again. he doesn’t give a single care about his hair, as long as his daughter gets her entertainment. he’ll let her slap his face, squish his cheeks, bump his nose, whatever (he probably wouldn’t let them all slide). on some days, when blade’s not running around and escaping from soldiers, he lets his daughter go ALL out on him. the two will definitely play — dress up, dolls, tea party’s, and much, much more (but it’s not like he can say no).

BLADE — who unfortunately “becomes” a pretty princess once his daughter gets to work. neon clips, silky ribbons, fake makeup, pink hair ties, jewelry, everything. and when you witness it, it’s more than difficult to hold in your laugh.

“blade!… blade?-”

“don’t.”

BLADE — is a pretty accurate protective father, but sometimes, it’s not even his protectiveness that’s acting. just a small glance or look from him can scare any boy from staying near or close your daughter. you remind him constantly to give his daughter some freedom, but what’s he gonna do if he’s doing nothing — but staring at the boy? it’ll take time for him to accept a guy that your daughter actually really likes and wants to be with, but don’t worry, blade will be “kind” enough to do it for his daughter. but don’t expect him to accept a man so easily (and the man to accept a dad-in-law so… scary), he’ll definitely have them take a “trial” on something to be able to be his daughter’s lover. heads up, if any guy hurts his daughter in any way, physically, mentally, or emotionally, they better count their days.

DAN HENG — is literally the sweetest dad to ever have, it’s tooth rottening. he’s like the entire package. he’ll make sure his children get a good education, live in a good environment, provide them with a decent life style, and hope they grow up to be amazing people (i’m crying rn). but before actually receiving you giving birth to your child, dan heng was the biggest nervous thing ever. he never thought to ever have a child of his own, and doubt how he’ll have to work it out. but you reassured him, and true to your words, he was.

DAN HENG — stays by your side almost all the time during your pregnancy. even when he had lots of trailblazing with the crew, he insisted to stay back to care for you and his future children. fortunately, he was allowed to by himeko and welt — unfortunately for march 7th and the trailblazer, they were missing a member to provoke. he can and will do everything and anything for you; the whole princess treatment. need water? right on top of your bed stand. need a pillow? he’s already rushing for a spare one. need something to eat? he’s already provided it (breakfast in bed guys). don’t forget the cuddles on the side, he’ll provide that anytime. his cuddles are literally so warm it warms up your body in the process, he’s like your personal heater. dan heng will definitely rub soothing circles on the belly — he knows it gets difficult to be a mother (not by experience guys get it out of your head), so he hopes all his acts of service helps you.

“shhh… take it easy love.”

DAN HENG — would have 2 children, a son and a daughter. unless it’s il dan heng, then that’s something else. i’d say the son is the oldest, although i don’t exactly 100% see it. there will be tears when he gets to see his very first child, holding them like it’s like his very last chance of living. he’ll immediately kiss your forehead after you’ve given birth to your and his’ child, promising to care for your son (and future daughter) ‘till the day he dies. he’ll also be by your side when your in the process of delivering your child. rubbing circles on your hands, lightly hushing and kissing you, intertwining hands, and saying the most supportive and loving words ever. and you maybe even cried during it because you can’t believe to have such an amazing husband like dan heng by your side (i’m crying again). additionally, the way his heart and eyes melted when you send him a small smile and slowly closed your eyes to rest.

DAN HENG — who like blade, would let his children play with his hair. sometimes, he’d transform into his vidyadhara and let his children play with his long hair; clipping clips, tying his hair, fashioning it, etc. i guess the son wouldn’t be so into that, but he’ll help his sister dress up their father. you melt whenever you happen to see your little toddlers play and try to chase after their father’s dragon tail. careful not to have them trip or fall, dan heng enjoys teaseing them and having them run after his tail — like a puppy, hoping that they manage to catch his tail and play atop it. i also can’t help but think of the thought dan heng would have his tail “turn” into a slide for his little children! they would just slide down and run back to their father for another round until they’re exhausted.

“hehe... again! again!”

“alright, you can slide some more, but then it’s gonna be your nap time.”

“ok, daddy!”

DAN HENG — who lovingly tucks his kids in their bed or crib when it’s their nap time, or it’s their bedtime. it’s such a heartwarming scene to witness, it could easily melt even the coldest of hearts. i think dan heng would sing them lullabies, but occasionally when he feels like it’s time for them understand the meanings of his songs. dan heng slightly blushes when he sees you in the doorway, flustering that you got to see how vulnerable he is, but that’s not a bother.

AVENTURINE — is one of the funnest and dedicated dads. he just loves his children so much, even if he has a side job, he always manages to make time for them and you. would definitely cry tears of joy and happiness when he receives them, stroking their small heads and holding them so tenderly. he loves you so much for giving him his children; he'd babble on forever about how you're such an amazing wife for working so hard for him and you, probable crying while saying all those heartwarming things. he's more than grateful to have his little children.

AVENTURINE — is such an AMAZING dad and supporter oh my goodness. he's so caring when you're a few months and/or weeks pregnant. maybe he becomes a male-wife (??), that's very visible in my brain. for awhile, he would take a break on going to the casino — to stay home and care for you. would easily decline any offer from any opponents that want to gamble. you would sometimes just wake up in the morning and hear his conversations to somebody about some business.

"no... im good... listen, for the last time, im not. please and thank you." hangs up.

"oh! mornin' babe. huh? — oh, its nothing, just some brat."

AVENTURINE — is a girl dad, but i feel like he would have one son and two daughters. he would love them all equally and take care of them so much; giving them a childhood he never managed to have. aventurine i guess i pretty known for being quite a guy, but his kids would be the sweetest ever — which he said was inherited by you. but just like their dad, they have another side (😈), they can be SO troublesome and little maniacs if they want to.

AVENTURINE — who gets tackled to the ground whenever he gets home from work by his children. it’s so cute and entertaining to see him get beaten to the ground by kids so much younger than him. they would just tackle his — grabbing his hat and coat and wearing them themselves ITS SO CUTE. additionally, i see aventurine taking the three bundles of joy to his gambling games and have them like sit on his lap and let them experience it. and also watching their dad ‘win’, is what he said. but after a couple weeks of their visits, aventurine eventually had to limit their visits because they kept exposing his cards; throwing them, playing with them, shouting out his cards, etc.

“daddy has only two more blue cards!”

“and one yellow!”

“oh! hehe… don’t shout out, love, it’s rude.”

AVENTURINE — who does the weirdest things with his kids. he would one hundred percent (sorry not sorry) dab up his son and teaches him the weirdest shit ever. like it’s kinda not surprising at all. he would also let his daughter play around with his necessary stuff. many of his other stuff needs to been hidden well, because you know, his kids are pretty curious.

[bunnwich]

It's Supposed to Be Fun

(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)

I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but I’m gonna try to express them. 

Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.

This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.

It’s supposed to be fun. 

Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be “popular” FOR JOY.

So, whether you’re dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?

Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?

To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst: 

Don’t feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.

If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to pivot. It’s okay for interests to fade. It doesn’t mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.

To my friends who have been harassed: 

I say this with sincerity…. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.

Like… There’s no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. I’m starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.

We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. We’re all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again… and if you are the type of person to go up just to “kick the doll out of someone’s hand" or make commentary on how “their way of playing is wrong." You’re a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.

Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave people’s bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)

Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldn’t give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.

Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. It’s supposed to be for fun. You don’t owe anyone a response.

The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it?  I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of “losers" that I’ve had to deal with.) I’ll always look fondly back on this time.

The key for me has always been to just…create for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuu’s and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! I’ve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blog…but I don’t care tbh. I just…draw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and that’s fine. I’m still gonna keep drawing it, loser.  

And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.

I can’t forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr I’d still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I can’t forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.

It’s supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.

[multifandomsish]

A/N: an au where Buckys a mechanic, requested by anon 🫶🏻

pls don’t hate me for how short this is but i wanted to get it out 😭

i wanted to leave this one kind of open and not a lot of detail! i feel like with how i decided to end this one, there’s definitely options for it to keep going if this is popular enough 👀

MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! please send me a request for any Marvel character! or vikings characters too! i’m open to just about any request!

TW: flirting, shyness, embarrassment, kissing.

-

A warm summer day seemed like the perfect time to go for a drive, but that was proving to be a bad idea as your car rumbled angrily rolling into the parking lot of a small town mechanics shop an hour and a half from where you live. “This has to be just my luck..” you grumble to yourself as you step one foot at a time out of your car, pushing the door closed and walking around, heading towards the shop.

You definitely stood out here with your tight fitting gym leggings and sports bra top, your typical gym attire that felt normal to wear in a gym of strangers working out just like you. But now that you were the only person dressed like this, you felt a small bit of insecurity boiling in your stomach at the thought of eyes on you. If you hadn’t needed help with your car to get back home, you wouldn’t have even made the stop but you felt you had no choice but to have it quickly checked out.

All of the car bay doors are open but not a soul is in sight, the assumption passing through your mind that everyone may be in the office of the shop hidden behind darkly tinted windows. A bell jingles just above your head as you push the slightly heavy metal and glass door open, the smell of oil and something hitting your nose. It takes a quick sweep of your eyes to see there’s three men behind the long desk in the center of the room, another man standing in the doorway leading to the garage where they work. It seems as though your presence makes the atmosphere go quiet.

The man standing in the doorway to the garage catches your eye, almost makes your heart skip a beat at the sight of him. He has beautifully messy brown hair and striking blue eyes, gorgeously muscled arms that are crossed over his tight broad chest. You’ve never seen anyone like him and you really wish you could get a better look at the name patch on his black button down work shirt that’s completely opened, exposing a white tank underneath. The only letters on the patch you can see are a B and Y, your brain wracking for names.

As your brain is trying to piece together a name, you offer a quick and soft friendly smile to the men, clearing your throat gently. “Hi uh- I was.. I was having some issues with my car while on a drive and this was the closest shop I could get to. I was afraid it may breakdown, is there anyone that might be able to take a look at it?” You get out, shyness taking over your senses as your cheeks begin to feel warm, knowing they’re slowly beginning to glow red.

Out of the corner of your eye you can see the man in the doorway shift his weight on his feet as you maintain eye contact with the man right behind the desk. “Why of course ma’am, Buck, you mind going with her and seeing if we can’t help her out?” The man politely asks, clean blonde hair slicked back and just as piercing blue eyes as, who you assume is Buck, has. He’s the one to make a move, pushing himself off the doorway he’s leaned against and taking a step forward, unfolding his arms.

“Of course, not a problem.” Buck offers you a friendly smile as your eyes meet his and it feels as though your stomach does a thousand flips in just seconds. You already know with as awkward as you are, this may not end very well.

You follow behind Buck, just a few steps away, back out of the shop door and towards your car in the small parking lot. “So, what’s going on with it?” He speaks up, the sound of his deep warm voice making your bones tingle.

“I uh.. I was driving down the highway when it started to shake and it kind of smelt like something was burning. Then the check engine light came on the further I drove so I decided it was best to try and find a shop somewhere as close as I could.” You explain, unlocking your car and handing Bucky the keys. You watch as he gets in the driver seat, flipping the key in the ignition just enough to turn the dash on.

After the check engine light comes on, he gets out and motions for you to wait just a second before heading towards one of the open bay doors. He grabs a little handheld machine from what you presume is his area of work before heading back towards you to plug in this machine to your car in hopes it’ll tell him exactly what the check engine light is for.

As he’s waiting for the machine to load you have a second to watch his features and look him over, admiring the way the sun glistens off his skin and makes his hair shine too. You can see the peak of pale white skin under the sleeve of his work t shirt he’s wearing, a line where his tan starts and ends, making a smile form on your lips.

He glances up just seconds before the machine loads, to catch your eyes on him before you quickly look away in embarrassment, wondering if you’d just been caught being a creep. Though in Bucky’s mind, he’s dying to get a good look at you just as you have him.

“Hmm, this isn’t good..” Bucky says once he’s looked down at the handheld, reading what it’s telling him. “You’re having transmission problems.” He explains, glancing back up at you for a second. Your eyes widen then lower as you listen to him, nodding your head.

“That’s expensive isn’t it?” You ask with a soft laugh, pushing your stray hairs out of your face as you glance your car over. “Is it possible for me to make it home? I’m about an hour and a half away.” You ask, chewing on your bottom lip afraid of the answer.

Bucky makes a soft noise with your second question, eyes meeting yours and he shakes his head with a soft chuckle. “You might be lucky to make it another thirty to forty five minutes, but not the whole way home.” He says, unplugging the machine and standing up, eyes drifting down your body as you’re not paying attention to him.

“Let me go talk to my boss, Steve, and see if we can’t work something out to where we can fix your car and get you home for the night, okay?” Bucky offers, sensing a feeling of stress coming from you though it seems to ease with his offer.

“Oh you don’t have to do that! I wouldn’t expect for you to have to worry about getting me home, that’s sweet though, thank you.” You tell Bucky, a giddy smile on your lips at the thought of him going as far as to getting you home safe.

Bucky chuckles and he shakes his head, rough hand running through his hair as the two of you make your way back towards the shop. “Steve might actually write me up if I just let you be to figure it out yourself.” He grins, looking to you. “And anyways, helping a pretty girl like yourself is no weight on my shoulders.” He offers a playful wink that makes your cheeks heat again.

With the nerves that Buckys wink has sent through your body, you stumble over your own two feet stepping back into the shop, nearly face planting onto the stained tile flooring but a strong hand catches you from behind, pulling you into his broad body to bring you back into a standing position. Even more nerves run through you, but the good kind of nerves. The kind that make you yearn for the feeling again and again.

“Watch your step darlin, don’t need you takin a trip to the hospital too.” His breath fans across your ear but you steady your feet to take a step away from him to maybe calm the pounding of your heart in your chest, trying to feign a prideful smile.

“I’m okay, I got it.” You laugh, Bucky hesitating a second before he steps around you and towards the desk where Steve is watching the two of you intently, a knowing smirk on his lips.

Bucky leans half across the desk so there’s little space between him and Steve, keeping his voice fairly low. “Listen, her cars having transmission issues. It’s gonna need a decent fix and she’s an hour and a half from home, let me give her a ride and I’ll work on the car for the night.” Bucky whispers, watching the way Steve’s expression grows even more knowing.

Steve slightly glances around Bucky at you, standing there glancing around the shop waiting room like a lost duck. He gives a soft little laugh and he nods his head at Bucky. “Go ahead, just, hurry back. You do have work to do. No dilly dallying.” Steve says, raising his brows at Bucky and Bucky grins wide at his friend and boss. “You’re the fucking best, man.” He nods, patting Steve’s shoulder and turning around back to you with a smile.

“You okay with me giving you a lift? Of course as small as this town is, a taxi won’t come all the way out and take you back.” Bucky says and you shrug your shoulders. “Id really appreciate a ride back.” You nod, smiling at him and he pulls keys from his pocket.

“You can grab whatever you need from your car, we should be done with it in a day or two depending on everything wrong.” Bucky states and you head back to your car as he heads around the building to pull his old model Chevy around to the front. With your purse and gym bag from the trunk, you climb in the passenger seat of Buckys truck, him patiently waiting for you to settle and get buckled before pulling onto the highway and back towards your town.

-

[thecuriousquest]

My Little Flower

Yandere!Hitoshi Shinso x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Heavy yandere themes, rape (reader doesn’t know), hypno kink, tit groping, tit sucking, nibbling, hickeys, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, degradation, bimbofication, Reader is kind and a little bit dumb, male dominant behavior, virginity loss (both), violence (shoving), cervix-pusher, tummy bulge, 18+ characters (seniors in high school)

Note: I don’t know about you, but I didn’t bleed when I lost my virginity, so Reader doesn’t either just to make things less complicated. ALSO, someone bought me a coffee, so this is on my second account as well. You can read it here and on @sluts-assembled.

Synopsis: Your best friend of four years, Hitoshi, finds your dumbass out in a rainstorm. He escorts you to your room, and you only make his mood worse from there.

Word Count: 3K

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The rain wouldn’t stop pouring down like a waterfall, the drops relentlessly tap, tap, tapping against the window. It seems like the dreadful weather will go on forever at this rate. Not that Hitoshi really minds, although he would much rather be lazing away in a sun puddle. Instead, he is brought back to reality as the lightening in the sky catches his ever-so-distant attention. His pupils rolling upwards, watching as the gray canvas of midday bright up with electric cobalt and lavender.

What catches his attention even more is a peculiar little figure off in the distance, bending down by a flower bed just short of a few meters from the school. Ah, he’d know that body anywhere. Could pick that ass out of a crowd of a hundred people. It’s you, his lovely little flower.

Wait…you?! What the hell are you doing out in a fucking storm?!

Currently alone in the general studies homeroom, Hitoshi rushes out of the classroom, shrugging on his rain jacket and grabbing an umbrella on the way out. He makes his way down the levels of the school, rounding hallways quickly, not at all in his usual slow fashion. No, he needs to get to you before something goes wrong.

Your quirk was what allowed you to enter the hero course with such ease. Plant and flower manipulation. Hero name: Sakura. Hitoshi both admired you and was envious of you. Jealousy spiked him when he first learned about your abilities. Creating thick vines from your palms and binding villains, using plant poisons to disorient your opponents, sending flower petals their way to distract them, capturing them in gigantic Venus flytraps, even using an aloe vera plant cradle for healing purposes. Your quirk is extremely versatile, and as green with envy as he was, he only loved you even more. That’s why, when your dumbass does stupid shit like standing in the rain during a torrential downpour, it frustrates him to no end. 

Suddenly, you no longer feel raindrops splashing against the hood of your slick coat. Upon straightening up and spinning away from the bed of flowers, your mind adjusts to the situation, and you take a deep breath and smile.

“Hitoshi, what are you doing out here?”

He doesn’t answer you right away, simply taking in the way your fitted yellow raincoat clings to your curves. The only skin exposed is between the hem of your jacket, which stops exactly at the length of your school skirt, and the top of your thigh high socks. He likes the looks of those socks molding to the shape of your legs even more than on a sunny day as they are soaked through and through.

“What the hell are you doing out here? Didn’t you realize that it’s raining? You could catch a cold or something standing out here like this,” Hitoshi scolds none too gently.

“Well, I wanted to see how the flowers were holding up in the rain. I was just trying to protect them.”

You’re so cute that Hitoshi could vomit. This is exactly what he means when he thinks about a kind person. You’re so selfless, too selfless. Willing to get sick if it means protecting something that isn’t even worth all that much. Flowers can always bloom again, but you aren’t ever that concerned about yourself, and it makes his palm itch to smack some sense into you.

“You wanted to see the flowers, so you risked your health? Really? I can’t believe you. Come on, we’re going back to your dorm. I’ll take you there. Can’t risk your dumbass getting distracted along the way.” Hitoshi reaches out for your arm, taking hold of your tricep and leading you towards the Class 1A dormitories.

“Oh, Hitoshi, you really don’t have to do that, but thank you. I appreciate you keeping me company. Hey, we should get some food after this. A cold day like this one calls for some ramen to warm us up.”

Hitoshi huffs in annoyance as he drags you through the rain, keeping the umbrella more so over you than him.

“Hey, Hitoshi, you’re not covering yourself with the umbrella. You don’t have to hold it over me. I have a hood. You should protect yourself-“

The lilac-haired teen interrupts you smoothly, his tone calm yet dominant, “It’s no problem. Be quiet.”

Hitoshi remains beside you, even escorting you all the way back to your room. Releasing a heavily pent-up sigh, he follows you through the door, where you both shed your raincoats and hang them on the back of your desk chair. As he places his closed umbrella next to your desk, you still don’t seem to notice the frown and furrowed eyebrows of his irked expression.

Walking over to your closet, you select a pair of jeans and a large t-shirt to get comfortable. Then, you realize that Hitoshi is still in the room. You look at him over your shoulder with a slight blush and full smile.

“Hey, Hitoshi, can you turn around? I want to get out of my uniform.”

It honestly baffles him. Why wouldn’t you order him to stand outside while you change? Do you feel so comfortable around him that you’d change in the same room as long as he’s not looking? You must not see anything wrong with the situation. Would you let anyone else stay in the room with you while you change? Have you done this sort of thing before? Hitoshi’s mind is suddenly plagued with your impropriety.

He reaches out and grabs your wrist firmly, locking eyes with yours. His mood has shifted, taking a turn for the worse just as the lightning cracks in the sky.

“Hitoshi?” You ask with your brows pulled together, confused as to why he has a firm grip on your limb.

“You just let anyone stay in here while you’re naked?”

And oh, he can’t stand it. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if you answer with an affirmative.

“What? N-no, I don’t. You’re the first guy who has been in my room. My girlfriends don’t look at me in that way since we’re girls-“

“Oh, so you’ll just slut yourself out for anyone, guy or girl?”

“WHAT?!” You can’t help but exclaim as Hitoshi’s words grow harsher just as his hold on your wrist grows tighter. “No, no, Hitoshi, you’re not listening to me. I said-“

“I heard you. You know, I always knew you were a dumbass, but I didn’t realize you were this fucking stupid.”

His words hit your heart so sharply, like the bark of a dog. It causes you to wince, causes you to freeze up, makes you feel like you can’t even breathe as the purple of his eyes go darker.

“Hitoshi…”

You don’t hit the bed when he shoves you. Instead, he shamelessly pushes you onto the floor of your dorm room. You cry out when you land on your ass, crashing on your back. Hitoshi stands above you, towering like a tall pillar.

“Hitoshi, what are you doing?” Tears well up in your eyes, unused to this treatment from the boy who has always been so relaxed and well-mannered around you.

“Tell me something. Do you like being such a filthy whore?”

“I…” Something about you begins to fade, a part of your mind going blank like a sheet of paper with nothing on it. No words to make out, no illustrations to focus on. There’s just nothing.

With you in this state, you make it all too easy for Hitoshi to control, to manipulate like a little puppet. His cute doll that he can force to do whatever he wants.

Kneeling next to you, he undoes the buttons of your school shirt one by one, dragging his index finger down the center to the very last button. Your shirt falls open, revealing the baby blue color of your bra that the eighteen-year-old can’t seem to get enough of. He has never seen your cleavage before as it has always been hidden behind button up uniforms and sweaters. Hitoshi can’t help it as he finds himself licking his lips. He licks them as he tugs your bra down, your tits bouncing free of the blue cage.

Hitoshi can feel his cock throbbing in his pants as he palms himself. It strains against his trousers, creating a thick bulge. He humps slightly into his hand, releasing a suppressed groan. He needs you, needs to feel you, all of you, every inch. Every single fucking inch of you. He takes the liberty of leaning down, his lips working around the supple shape of your nipple. It’s been his dream to be in a position like this with you, only you, for as long as he can remember since the day he laid his lilac orbs on you four years ago.

His other hand reaches out to your free breast as he continues to suck on the left one. His tongue swirling around it as if it’s a delicious fruit just waiting to be eaten. How he just wants a taste so badly. His cock pulsating from the palpable lust.

Only, you lay there unconscious about what he’s doing, completely in the dark as your blank eyes remain unblinking. It’s as if you’re trapped in a place where time doesn’t exist, but Hitoshi has all the time in the world to play with you.

He squeezes your tit with his hand, harshly groping you, needing to get a good grip on what belongs to him. Everything about you, he needs right now. As he lightly takes the bud of your breast between his teeth, he bites gently, deliberately. His hand travels from your chest downwards. Fingers dragging past your ribs and abdomen, finding the treasure hidden between your legs. Your body involuntarily twitches, and for a moment, he thinks you’re going to snap out of the effects of his quirk, but Hitoshi has gotten stronger. He keeps his concentration, and you remain in the dark as he draws your clit between his thumb and index fingers, pinching hard enough to create the soaked pussy he wants.

Hitoshi can’t help but rub the crotch of his pants against your thigh as he leaves bite marks and hickeys all along your neck, all the while rubbing your pussy, gathering the juices on his fingers. It’s like a deranged need to get you as slick as he can before taking you for himself, all for himself. And when he pulls his hand away from the apex of your thighs, he sniffs the creamy substance on his fingers, and his eyes roll back. He shivers slightly from the pheromones; from the utterly erotic scent your core produces. It’s the milk of life he never knew he needed until this moment.

His tongue, ever so hesitantly, finds its way to the tips of his fingers. With a swift lick to the pads, he becomes a feral animal. His face dives between your legs, leaving behind all notions of your nipples and neck, leaving everything behind in the wake of his sexual desires. His nose bumps against your tiny bundle of nerves as his lips suckle on the nectar of your flower. Because that’s what it is to him in this moment, because that’s what you’ve always been to him from the very start: a beautiful and vulnerable flower.

You’re so innocently delicious and sweet, craving for you to sit on his face, but he can’t risk moving you too much and having you wake up. No, he needs to keep you as docile as he can until the very end.

Hitoshi groans, fucking into his palm through his trousers as he continues to eat you out. He’s torn between coming in his pants just so he can keep tasting you and completely taking you for himself.

With a low growl of frustration, he shucks his pants and boxers down, removing his clothes until every muscle is exposed. His toned body presses against yours, teeth tugging on the sensitive flesh of your throat as he rids you of your panties, throwing them to the side once they are completely off. He plants your thigh between his knees as he hovers over you, pinning the pit of your right knee against his hip. His breath ghosts against the shell of your ear as the mushroom tip of his pink cock dips into your folds. Hitoshi closes his eyes, relishing in the luxury of your slippery cavern, each way he thrusts, your walls are just so tight on his sword, gripping like a fitted sheathe. Your virgin tight pussy feels like everything he could ever hope for, not at all knowing what it would feel like until this very moment.

“You’re such a damn idiot. A stupid little moron. The only thing you have going for you is your looks. How did a damn airhead make it into the hero course?” His voice is raspy, shaky, almost coming out in a hoarse whisper.

He thrusts into you, plowing deeper and deeper as he adjusts his grip on your knee, keeping you pinned closely to him in order to push your cervix. A guttural, lewd, and primitive moan escapes past his lips as he feels this new spot in the home of your womb. He glances down, sweat beading his forehead, and he smirks. He can see the bulge his twitchy cock makes in your belly, and every time he pulls back only to push in again, he sees it move under your skin.

Hitoshi tugs on your earlobe with his blunt teeth, laughing condescendingly at you in this state. “Fuck, it’s all the more reason to love you. Someone’s got to look out for you, protect you. You’re so goddamn lucky you have me on your side.”

He buries himself into you, his purple hair brushing against your H/C locks, hips pulsating as he manages to pull you even closer to him. Tired of holding your knee against the bone of his hip, he moves the pit of your knee over his shoulder, doing the same with the leg trapped between him on the floor. He moves your thigh into his hand, gently shifting you so that both legs are over his muscular shoulders. Hitoshi feels you, curled at the abdomen, taking his full cock from tip to base. He can’t help it as his hands travel underneath you, groping the hills of your ass, digging his fingers so deep into your flesh that there will likely be bruises when he’s done.

Numb to the world entirely, you are devoid of all thoughts, not a single one crossing that pretty, empty head of yours. You never thought the darkness could be so soothing, but you’ve never felt more at peace. Blanketed by a feeling of oblivion, you are completely unaware of the storm raging beyond the windowpane. A euphoric sensation cradles you in a dreamy haze as you remain in this tiny sanctuary. No, you do not wish to escape the safety of this wonderful cocoon in your mind.

The purplenet feels his cock twitch once, twice, and he immediately pulls out, knowing exactly what is about to happen. He watches as white, pearlescent ropes catch on your thighs. He sighs in relief, knowing that he caught himself before a bad situation unfolded. In the aftermath of it all, Hitoshi finds himself trying to clean everything up quickly. Toweling down your thighs, putting your panties back on, repositioning your bra, and buttoning up your shirt just the way it was when this whole ordeal began. He gets dressed back into his clothes. When he's all finished, he gently wakes you from the effects of his quirk.

“Hey, Y/N, you…passed out,” Hitoshi lies, feeling a sense of shame but unable to share the truth.

You blink up at him as he kneels over you. The last thing you remember was being pushed, nothing else.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I let my anger go like that. I promise, it won’t happen again.” He’s sincere, grabbing your hand in a desperate manner to make you know his regret for being violent. “I just needed to make you understand how dangerous what you did was. What if someone tried to take advantage of you because you let them stay in the same room while dressing? So many bad things can happen. You need to think.”

Feeling your cheeks flush, you nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, we all get mad sometimes. I…can’t say I’ve never gotten that angry before. You were really just trying to protect me?”

God, you’re so stupid. Such a gullible little flower.

“Yeah, I just needed you to see what you did was wrong. You must have hit your head and passed out when I pushed you. I’m sorry. It will never happen again. I swear.”

His words are as sweet as honey. How could you not believe your long-time friend? He’s always so well-mannered, it must have just been a one-time thing.

“Okay…I forgive you, Hitoshi.”

He smiles, his lips curling up as he wraps his arms around you, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. “Want to go get that ramen you were talking about earlier?”

“Yeah! That sounds great. Let’s go! I think I’ll just wear my uniform. It doesn’t exactly feel fair, you know, me being in casual clothes while you’re still wearing your school uniform.”

“Do what you want, Y/N,” he responds gently as he slips his hands in his pockets.  

“Also, I’m really sorry, Hitoshi. I don’t want you to think I do that with people. I just trust you, you know?”

“Nothing to apologize for. Here, let’s get your raincoat on.”

Hitoshi pulls you up from the ground and grabs your yellow jacket off the desk chair, helping you put it on. As you stand in front of him, you catch a glimpse of the marks on your neck in the mirror, completely puzzled because you don’t know how those appeared. You also begin to feel a bit of an aching throb in your pussy, but you become easily distracted when Hitoshi turns you towards him and wraps a scarf around your neck.

“I don’t want you getting cold,” he explains in his usual lazy drawl.

You can’t help but smile. What would you do without Hitoshi looking after you?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 54

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: I am back to work tmrw.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You choose a simple dress. You like the shade of peach even as Loki eyes you archly. It might not be the choice that offends him but the state of yourself. Your nose is still healing, bandaged but not as heavily, and you have much left to recover. His own injuries remain tinged on his pale skin.

You shimmy the dress on and turn your back to him as he drones cynically. His fingers creep up along your bottom to meet the zipper and he tugs it up slowly. He’s reluctant. 

“What is it? You don’t like the dress?” You face him.

“I’d rather prefer you naked,” he purrs with a wink, “but I am not overly fond of the colour, no.” 

“Oh, but... you bought it?” 

“Yes, my sister did have it included in the purchase but... it is rather bright.” 

“I like it,” you run your hands over your stomach and hips, “it fits nicely but if you want me to change...” 

“No, darling, do what you wish,” he crosses his arms, “I must learn to let you do so.” 

You narrow your eyes. His malleability does not come without resentment. You shrug. You don’t have all day to be sussing out his preference. 

“What is it you and my mother have planned?” He asks. 

“I’m not certain,” you say as you search for your phone. The one he gave you. 

“No? Hm, darling, what about a necklace?” He goes to the jewellery box and plucks out a golden chain with a peridot emblem.  

“I guess,” you dig around in your work bag, most of your luggage still unpacked. 

“You guess? It is a pretty necklace. What about amethyst?” 

“Loki,” you fish out your phone but not the one you meant to. Your old flip.  

You put it down on the nightstand stiffly and return to your search. It feels so long ago that you were that person. That sad girl living with your father and flitting through a meandering existence. You won’t say you’ve moved up very much, still at the whim of a man, but you feel distant from that person. 

Perhaps Walpurgisnacht was more a rebirth than you could know. 

“Pet...” Loki comes closer as you retrieve your work phone. It’s dead.  

“I need to charge it,” you show him the device. 

“You should toss the old one. Doubt it even works.” 

“I know, I will. I have to back it up,” you say evasively. There’s not much on it but it’s the only connection you still have to your previous life. You’re not ready to slice through that last strand. 

“Mm, right then, well, another to do for the list,” he steps nearer and tickles your waist, “suppose you delay your little outing with my mother and I take you to lunch--” 

“She’s a guest, and your mother,” you rebuke. “Loki, I’m only doing what I need to do. Isn’t that what you want?” 

He sighs, “yes, but... it is still my house. I would like more than my leave. I should say when you need go pick out flowers or tablecloths or whatnot.” 

“Proposals typically lead to all that,” you say, “at least from what I know.” 

“What you know?” He muses. 

“Yeah, I’ve seen a few Kate Hudson movies,” you quip and give a goofy smile but quickly repress it. “Sorry, that wasn’t... funny.” 

His cheeks dimple and his nostrils flair, his lips slightly curved, “is that... humour? From you?” 

“Well, I... yeah, why not?” 

“Hm, it isn’t a slight but you are not one for laughter.” 

“Or maybe you’ve never made me laugh,” you blurt out and quickly snap your mouth shut. 

His brows drop and his smile too. You stare at him. Oops. You are getting to comfortable. Even if you are to be his wife, you aren’t his equal. You don’t know that you could ever be. 

He chuckles, “darling, how very sharp.” He reaches to frame your chin and turns you to him completely, “I should try harder then, to hear your sweet laughs.” 

You smile, a flutter in your chest, “that’s sweet.” 

“I am sweet,” he says, offended. “What do you mean?” 

You just stare at him. Is he kidding? 

“Don’t,” he warns with a frown. “Very well, go, have fun. Should I need anything, I will be certain to let mother know since you will be without tether...” he keeps his hand on you, squeezing, “you will be safe with her, I know.” 

“Loki,” you murmur, “he’s not coming back. He wouldn’t.” 

He stares at you solemnly, “no, he shouldn’t.” 

It seems as if he doubts his own words. For a moment, you do too. He knows his brother much better. Yet, how can Thor return when all have turned their backs on him? 

“There is no hurry, mother can wait...” 

“Loki, she’s only visiting,” you remind him, “the sooner it’s done, the sooner they go, right?” 

“Mm, you are clever,” he looks past you with apprehension, “suppose so. And I should speak with father about some things...” he leans in and kisses your forehead, withdrawing absently as he taps his fingertips together, “weddings and such...” 

You give him a look but he’s too distracted to notice. This whole affair is his idea and yet he is uncertain. You watch him placidly. 

“We don’t have to... marry--” 

“No, no,” he returns his attention to you, “of course we must. We will—how could you—oh, I know it is all very new to you, pet, but trust in me. It isn’t my first rodeo. Regrettably.” 

You feel a pang at the allusion to his previous marriage. You remember Sif with her sleek figure and her perfect smile and her sparkling eyes. You are second in all ways to her. 

“I should go,” you insist with a sniff. 

“Mm, yes, you should,” he grabs your shoulders and lays another kiss, this time on your lips. “I have told mother very strictly not to dawdle so you shouldn’t either.” 

“We’ll be fine,” you assure him. 

“When did you get so confident,” he teases as he retracts from you. 

You offer a sheepish smile. Not confident, but hopeful. A change nonetheless. 

✨

Frigga insists on lunch before you do anything. You’re struck with deja vu as she returns to that same place you went to with her sons. That day feels like eons ago but it’s been just over a month. 

The change feels all the more sudden after a lifetime of stagnancy. With your dad, every day blurred together, the constancy was as dull as it was oppressive. Yet, you mourn it all the same. The spontaneity and turbulence of your new existence proves just as paralysing at times. 

You may have gone from maid to fiancee, but it doesn’t dissolve your expected deference. You are marrying into the Odinsons, they have no need to ingratiate themselves to you. Even as the reminder of her elder son troubles you, you will not mention your worries aloud to the matriarch. 

Frigga orders a sparkling water with fruit, you ask for the same. The waitress is not subtle as she eyes your bandaged nose. Just another reason for you to feel out of place. It's tender but feels much better.

You peer up at the sky as you sit in the open patio and the scent of the curated flowers around the space wafts in the air. Your dress rustles and tickles your leg, causing you to flinch. Another flash of before. That day you ate with Thor at your side, his hand under the table... 

You shudder and blow away the memory. You reach for your water and sip as you look over the entrees. Your appetite is erratic. One second you’re ravenous, the next, nauseous. The tuna sounds good but sickening at once. You’ll get a salad. 

“We will have to plan an engagement party first. Perhaps a local venue for that,” she looks at her phone and turns it on its screen as you hear it buzzing. 

“Or the house? I thought... the gazebo...” 

“Mm, yes, I recall, what was the name of that contractor you hired? I wouldn’t mind a similar build back at our house. Oh, and perhaps if you did want to do the wedding at home as well, a wedding arch might be a thought. I’m certain a carpenter might be up to that task,” she continues, ignoring how her phone rattles her glass. “So, we’ll skip over venues then. But invitations, perhaps? Oo, do you have a dress in mind? A brunch or something in the evening?” 

You can hardly keep up with her questions. At least she offers distraction from the shadow looming over your shoulder. Both of them. If it isn’t one son, it’s the other. 

The waitress returns and you order. Frigga eyes you as she puts in for a monte cristo with the soup du jour. You try to smile. You’re tired. 

“Are you okay, dear? You’ve not been eating very much.” 

“Oh, haven’t I?” You squirm evasively. “I’m... fine, I guess I just have a lot on my mind.” 

“Oh, darling, forgive me if I am overloading you,” she fans herself with her hand, “I apologise. I’ve a bad habit of getting head over feet about these things. I have so many ideas all at once but if I sit still, I feel I might burst.” 

Her words call you back to Loki pacing and circling at the hotel, then at home, he manic muttering. 

“It’s alright. I don’t think of any of it. I don’t know where to begin,” you assure her. 

“Ah, well, yes, but I’ve had a wedding and my son’s had a wedding already,” she chuckles, “so I do have a bit more experience. You shouldn’t worry terribly if you have questions. I am simply here to guide you.” 

“I know--” 

Her phone shakes again and she sighs.  

“Pardon,” she tilts the phone up and you see the incoming call; Loki. She quickly turns off the ringer. “My, he is a pest. It cannot be that important--” 

“I don’t have my phone,” you say, “maybe he needs something.” 

“My son can wait. He is so selfish. Especially about you. Surely, he trusts his own mother,” she scoffs, “anyhow, I think a luncheon might be pleasant enough. Perhaps with a theme. Summer is here and the flowers will be lovely this time of season.” 

“Excuse me, miss,” the waitress comes up to the table, a cordless phone in her hand, “there’s a gentleman on the phone asking for you.” 

You frown at Frigga then glance up, realising the woman is speaking to you. You blink and take the phone from her. You put it to your ear, staring at Frigga. 

“Hello?” 

“Pet,” Loki bursts eagerly, “oh, I knew you’d be there. Yes, I only wanted to check in, hear your voice, but I couldn’t get through to mother.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, we were just ordering--” 

‘Give me the phone’ Frigga mouths and gestures. 

“I...” you begin and her green eyes flare. You hand over the phone. 

“Loki, this is not your time. You can wait. We are busy. You have a lovely day and we will be home in a few hours,” she says tritely, “certainly, you might find something to keep yourself busy.” 

She doesn’t wait for his response as she hits the end button and hands the phone back to the server, thanking her with a smile. The brunette flits away and you tap your fingers on the table top. Frigga plays with a wave and pushes it behind her ear, “darling, don’t even worry about my son. You just focus on yourself.” 

“Thank you, I just...” 

“You just don’t worry,” she repeats, “if my son has issue with us doing exactly as we told him we would, then he may take it up with me. Uh, he always was a needy little boy.” 

You almost laugh. You might agree with part of her sentiment but you could never imagine Loki as a little boy. In your mind, he just seems as if he’s always been grown. Not like you.  

You’ve always felt clueless and inadequate. As if you never moved past childhood, that you got caught behind some wall and watched the adults from afar. Yet, now that you’re on the other side, you still feel a barrier. Like them, but not the same. 

Not like the Odinsons especially. A family. You don’t have any of that. The more you think of the wedding, the more you see empty seats. No bridesmaids, not father-daughter dance, no one on your side. 

“Dear, have I upset you?” Frigga cuts the silence and you catch yourself staring at the table. 

You shake your head and sit up, “no, sorry, just thinking...” you scramble for a lie. You hate that you do that so often now, “what about a tea party?” 

“A tea party? Marvelous, I love it,” she trills, “oh, yes, we will have to find some fine porcelain for the event.” 

“Loki has lots--” 

��Yes, but this is special, dear. You’ll need a special set so you can always remember the party. Oh, and teas. There is a tea shop nearby. They sell loose leaf. We can have a whole array. Ooh, and biscuits, pastries...” she begins to list off. You let her, thankful to forget everything else for the minutest of details. Tea is easy. 

[merbear25]

Can I request Ace, Mihawk, Zoro, Sanji, and smoker x kind reader? She treats everyone with kindness and respect and always tries to see the good side of everyone even if they don't deserve it, technically her soul is pure.

And what does Ace, Mihawk, Zoro, Sanji, and Smoker thinks about her being too kind? Like do they try to tell her that not everyone deserves kindness or something like that?

Hey, hey! This was cute to write about. Since you sent more than 3 characters, I chose the ones I had some ideas about. Thanks for sending in your request! I hope you like what I've written for you. 💜💜 p.s. it's my first time writing anything for Smoker, so I hope I did alright.

CW: gn!reader, headcanons, some angst, fluff

With a kind reader (Ace, Mihawk, Smoker)

Ace: He adored how kind you were: never failing to put a smile on his face with your upbeat attitude and light-hearted nature. Despite how much he admired your positivity and optimism, he did worry about it being taken advantage of. It wasn’t that you weren’t aware of the cruelty that lurked in this world; you simply wanted to spread kindness everywhere you went. One day, the inevitable happened: those you were so willing to extend your good-natured spirit to snubbed you, hurting you deeply. He wasn’t going to be the one to say ‘I told you so’ because you knew this could happen. Instead, he held you and offered you reassurance to help soothe your tender heart.

“You’ve got such a big heart. Some just don’t know how to appreciate it."

Mihawk: Although he never really showed it, he admired your resilience to the coldness in this world. Your sunny personality took some time to grow on him, letting him process and fully appreciate your genuine kindness for what it was. With you being so carefree about showing this side to everyone, he thought it would be irresponsible of him not to offer you some advice. You understood his concerns and even appreciated him trying to protect you. However, you didn’t feel it was truly necessary to be more selective to whom you spread your positivity, honestly wanting the best for everyone. That being said, when there were times your sunny days had rain clouds, he was there to offer you shelter from the storm.

“Only those who are most deserving of your kindness can appreciate it.”

Smoker: Throughout his time in the Marines, he met many who were like you: soft-hearted, gentle, kind. Each of them eventually lost that side of them, unable to cope with the harsh reality striking them down. You surprised him, though. Time and time again, you stayed true to yourself and what you stood for. ‘Spreading kindness,’ he’d think to himself, chuckling at the childlike purity. However, he quite enjoyed that side of you. Seeing your sweet, smiling face and knowing that it was backed up by sincerity warmed his guarded heart. There were moments when he’d tell you to be wary of others, not to trust or extend your kindness to them so willingly. Despite already knowing this, you continued, eventually leaving you in tears one day. Not being the best when it came to comforting others, he still cared enough to try.

“Sometimes the light feels as if it’s left on your darkest days. But it’s still there.”

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Long Distance Fic Recs

I didn't know this would happen when I picked this theme, but my fiancée spent the last week away at her sister's -- celebrating a new nibling! So an exciting time, but I definitely missed her, even for only a few days. So really feeling this list of long distance recs, loving each other despite the miles and yearning to be reuinited. Here are seven amazing fics!

Baby, I'm Right Here by FallingLikeThis/suddenclarityharry (8186, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles) – fic post

Leave it to Harry to not realize he's in love with his friend until they're living in different hemispheres. It takes a date with a lovely guy who just isn't HIS lovely guy for Louis to finally say what they've both been thinking.

Reccer says: I love their easy back and forth banter and the comfortable solidness of their friendship. And when that transitions into romance -- beautiful. I'm always a fan of a meddling Niall, too, even if he's meddling in a different way than usual here!

Danger I can’t hide by CelticSky (227290, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Flying Officer Styles and Sergeant Tomlinson would have likely never crossed paths in a time of peace, their lives laid out neatly, predictably before them. But then the world became unrecognisable. Too soon they grew accustomed to fear, surrounded by death and destruction, not even their freedom a certainty any more. Until they found eachother. Comfort. Companionship. Understanding. Another person to lose.

Reccer says: In my opinion, this fic is the masterpiece of 2023. It's one of those fics that should be a movie. It's perfect. The script is masterful. The story is gripping. The characters are masterfully constructed. There's emotion, anguish. It's beautiful. It's powerful. A gem.

Du är mitt livs kärlek (You are the love of my life) by goldenkinglouis (1749, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry finally meets Louis at the airport after six months of long-distance love.

Reccer says: This fic is so sweet my teeth hurt and I just want more. So adorable and romantic and full of love.

From Eight Until Late, I Think About You by supernope (35227, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles)

Louis and Harry are both YouTubers, and if they didn't want all their viewers to ship them they should maybe stop flirting in the comments of each other's videos. They don't live all that far apart in miles, but it still takes almost a year for them to meet in person. When they're paired up as roommates at a YouTube meetup, there is NOT only one bed, but that doesn't stop them.

Reccer says: I always love watching a relationship build and grow, and this fic does it beautifully. From joking comments to texting to Snapchat to meeting up (and promptly making VERY questionable but hysterically funny decisions together) it's just great.

miles away from seeing you by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) (1749, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry is in his final year studying marine biology, and is doing an international exchange at the University of Auckland. This fic is entirely told through images of social media posts and conversations (Image descriptions are available)

Reccer says: it was the first all-media fic i've read, but i was impressed how the entire story/feelings etc came across in just pictures

seven hours behind by justanothershadeofblue (5000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Harry gets Louis off over the phone during Louis’ first tour.

Reccer says: Really fun slice-of-tour-life fic, and also hot!

the blue never ending sky by justanothershadeofblue (4000, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

a heart-aching AU where Harry and Louis had a dream to go off and make music together after school, but then Harry goes… without Louis. Louis PoV, with an epistolary element.

Reccer says: this fic is simple but perfectly angsty! you don’t see a lot of ambiguous-ending fics in this fandom, but this one nails it.

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja.

First of all, your blog is one of the only ones I’ve always felt was sincere, on point, respectful, and not toxic. I’ve always had a good feeling about you and how you are kind despite all the toxicity on here.

That feeling has never wavered and there is a big part of me that wants you to be right and win against these ridiculous anons that seem to want to put you down.

An opinion (which I don’t claim to be fact, just some thoughts here): I see a lot of takes on here popping up from blogs that claim they have PR knowledge and claim to be experts and read and follow along the gossip, but I think nobody really knows and they can only hypothesize on what they think is the truth.

I think CE being married (by public knowledge and Wikipedia) was the main goal here. I’ve always sort of felt this, which is why I ultimately was not surprised after he did his SMA spread that he went public with Fish girl and then later on “got married.”

The reason I say this is because HW and society is very judgmental and superficial. Being single or unmarried at a certain age always raises questions whether or not it is valid to do so. I disagree with this sentiment but unfortunately the world is how it is. It happens to regular people, so why wouldn’t it apply to celebs? Especially the ones who have basically become a pop culture icon of being an eligible bachelor/desirable.

Let’s think about this. After 2019, CE was no longer under the marvel umbrella. He had to start defining his post marvel career, and then Covid hit. So many things derailed. He randomly got an IG in 2020 but people found out it had existed as an account since 2019. Perhaps it was always the plan or it was a plan hatched by his PR team to keep him in the public eye. He became relatable internet BF with a Prince Charming storyline of when will he find the one? It was almost overkill from 2020-2022.

Now it’s 2024 and he’s supposedly been with this woman since 2021. It shows longevity and then eventual commitment. He now wears a ring in public so they see him as “settled down.” That’s the image he is now portraying for the public who doesn’t dig or care to deeper in his life.

I don’t think it’s about rebranding to attract a younger audience - if so, his pr team would have realized that gen Z actually does not fare well to age gaps and the subject of grooming and etc always comes up for this hypersensitive on PC/wokeness generation. Then add on the racism and weird ass crap from her/her friends. Definitely not boding well for a generation that lives on the internet and knows how to deep dive. His PR team would have looked at how the public reacted to other relationships like this and I feel, if it was simply he was in love with her and it was real real, would have told him to keep it on the DL DL until it was absolutely certain they had walked down the aisle. At that point, there would be no turning back.

But they marketed this before that happened. They wanted to portray her as the one similar to how in movies, they want to portray a main character and love interest as meant to be even if the audience may or may not receive it that way. How many times do we hear “this movie tanked because the leads had no chemistry and the relationship they wanted us to believe was not believable?”

But ultimately, the endgoal of if CE and his wife are a good couple or not doesn’t really matter. They have achieved their goal of he is now settled down and no longer on the market. If you choose to continue to follow him, stay for his career and not his personal life. Meanwhile, her - well, they’ll keep trying to make her happen because her end of the deal was getting more visibility and breaking into the American market. That much has been clear.

But you can lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink.

What she chooses to do with the opportunities given to her are left to be seen. Also, how the public and CE/her fanbases chooses to receive them are also left to be seen.

Will this marriage last forever? I have doubts. But I do think they considered many options and this is what they came up with. I also don’t believe CE’s actions show he is very happy with the arrangement, even less so than fish is. Because even from the subtle clues from photos and “videos” - body language does not lie.

To be fair to fish, I doubt she’s in love with him either. I think she’s getting more benefits from this because most of the negativity is being directed towards him, not her. His fans hating and harassing her are just a pinnacle of what he’s receiving from his own fanbase. Some people will disagree with me but he’s the one getting the P and G and disgusting comments and being called the worst person on earth because he married her. His own fans are turning on him and her fans can also blame him but victimize her. The general public doesn’t care too much but will say how he looks because he got with her. She remains “innocent” of any blame because at the end, she is young and he is older so he should know better. Do you see what I mean?

Meanwhile, her fans are just happy she’s getting attention and somebody to fund her poor attempts at becoming a fashion icon. She lacks in talent and work ethic but it’s an easy way for her to get engagement by being attached to him.

The day this ends and she no longer has his name will be interesting and that’s what I think his fans (remaining) are hoping for. They don’t want to reward laziness and clout chasing opportunist and I too support this. They want HIM to be better and find success and love himself more so he doesn’t continue to end up in these shitty situations. But again, he has to want that for himself. He has to want to deserve better so he can work on actually deserving of better.

I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this opinion. Just my thoughts and I support YOU. I hope things work out in the end in your favor because you are a great person and I selfishly want you to be right (haha). ❤️

I completely agree with everything that you wrote down. 

I remember seeing people criticize him for saying he wants to get married and have a family, yet he is still single and childless. As you said, it's stupid that people are being bullied and judged because they haven't already settled down, even if they wanted to. Finding a partner is hard, and finding a partner in his shoes is even harder. I obviously don't know whether he actually wants all of that, but saying he must not want all of that because he didn't do so is not right. A lot of people struggle with finding a good partner. 

I never agreed with people calling him by the P and G words. I guess these people either don't know what those words mean or are simply that mad as Chris that they feel the need to spread lies. He is not those things and never was. Yeah, 16 years is a lot, but she was a grownup when they allegedly met, and I think people exaggerate when they say she looks like a child. 

I think the reason most people are hateful towards him is because they are disappointed in him. I think most people had an idea about the person he is based on the information we had, and him being married to someone like her or even dating someone like her doesn't really fit into that. People aren't disappointed in her because most didn't even know who she was before Chris. We were just presented with her actual self, and we didn't have any expectations from her. But we had for him. 

I doubt either of them is in love with each other. Alba doesn't seem that happy or comfortable around him either. I think this is just business for both of them.

I still think he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. I just hope the best for him, to be honest, which I know is an unpopular opinion now because it seems like wanting the worst for him is what is trendy nowadays. Maybe I'm naive; maybe I'm just holding onto an image, but I don't think the last 20+ years were a lie. I hope he will prove me right. 

Thanks for writing this down and for being there. ♥

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Hey, what is this change in Raphael fanon you’re referring to? I think I noticed the same thing, but I wanted to make sure. Please don’t feel pressured to answer if you’re not comfortable with the question 🫶

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really liked your take on him and feel like nobody writes him like that anymore (the other writers who did also stopped).

Hey! Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way to dunk on the fandom. I think it's pretty natural that as time progresses, certain fanon takes "stick" / gain more traction / become more popular. It's also not to say that my perspective of the character is "good" and another is "bad", it's more that the current dominant fanon perception of Raphael (and Haarlep) doesn't resonate with me.

Over the past months, most part of the Raph!fandom that is visible to me seems to have arrived at the conclusion that Raphael is smitten with the player character, rather than him being a manipulative fiend that uses charm to get what he wants. That leads to characterizations of him where he "loves" a Tav/Durge/OC, where his actions get attributed as driven by that player character (as opposed to them being an important tool to him).

As someone who's written a somewhat softer Raph in my own fic (and I only barely made that work for myself by making him human, and the ending – SPOILERS – very much is intended to contradict any perception of him being selfless/in love/able to love how humans love) I don't think it's true of his character.

Him being able to love is an interpretation that I don't personally agree with. Of course people can HC that! More power to you!!! Have fun with it. It's just a take I don't enjoy because to me, it takes away a lot of the complexity and a core part of his canon personality.

Related to that there's, again, from my pov, an infantilization that comes along with that.

Raphael as incapable. Raphael as a helpless plaything for Haarlep. Raphael as a dork. Raphael as comic relief. Raphael showing up because he "loves" the character instead of manipulating them. And so on. Same as before: It's, to me personally, a reduction of his character, and quite frankly, boring. He is more powerful than this fanon version portrays him. He is more frightening, and ruthless, and evil, as fanon seemingly wants him to be.

For Haarlep it's even more so that he gets reduced to that funny side character. The darker sides of that character often gets left out. Again, the dominant fanon perception of that incubus feels very one-dimensional and underserving of the complexity and outright shrewd brutality Haarlep displays (and probably needed to survive for this long under Raphael's roof).

They're both evil characters. But they can't be in the current discourse. They're getting washed into a softy, funny, cutiepie version. And that's not what I think the characters are.

To some degree this also happens to Gortash btw. But I digress.

Again. Not saying this read on the characters is bad, it's just one I personally don't agree with, and that I don't find interesting.

Now to the part about people enjoying my take on him in my writing. First, thank you so much for saying that! I really appreciate it. And I mean, I do see that Keeping Score and Folie á Deux are still two of my most-read fics to date, with tens of thousands of hits altogether. But the thing is. People don't comment on finished/older fics, not to mention reblog them lmao. I'm pretty sure that Folie has gotten 50-65% of its hits after even the expansion (chapter 6) was written. Did it get any comments since then? Ha.

Keeping Score also got a significant number of reads after completion. But I can count the number of people (!) on one hand who commented since I finished it end of 2023. So. Unless you tell writers you enjoy their work, we won't know. Because I cannot tell who clicks on the fic and leaves again, or who devours it all in one sitting.

Sorry for the tangent. It's just a pity to hear now, all those months later, that there are people out there who liked my depiction of Raph when I was pretty convinced that no one actually cared. Anyway!

I hope this doesn't start any drama, because legit, I don't have beef with anyone. I am happy that character is giving so many people joy. I have my Gorty delusions to keep me entertained. But you asked, so here's a long answer, hoping I gave enough context to make it understandable.

Happy headcanoning and shipping, everyone <3

[ironunderstands]

Topaz appreciation post because she’s been rotating around my brain like a rotisserie chicken and I need y’all to get her like I do 

Genuinely, I believe her to be the most underrated limited 5 star in the game everything wise, because she is so damn interesting and nobody talks about it ever and it drives me nuts.

So, I’m going to make you understand why exactly I love her and what makes her so amazing in the first place.

Her lore 

Topaz’s lore is rather simple, at least compared to other characters in the game, but simple ≠ bad and her story serves her perfectly.

Long before Topaz was Topaz, she was a girl named Jelena, living in a desolate planet at the edge of the galaxy. The economy of this planet was based around mining and industry, which resulted in her home becoming more and more polluted as time went on. The wildlife almost completely disappeared, people had to wear masks to breathe, and it seemed like her planet was reaching a hopeless, dismal end.

Until the IPC came. They promised to fix everything, and heal her planet of its environment problems, in exchange for every person on the planet signing a contract of indentured servitude to the IPC. Seeing no other way out, Topaz’s home accepted, forever tying her and the rest of the planet to the IPC.

Topaz is was (and still is) incredibly talented and competent, excelling in science, economics, finances, math, etc. Her exceptional talents caused her mentor  and parental figure Dvorski, who works in the Strategic Investment Department to recommend her to Jade, one of his superiors. Presumably, this is how she started her climb up the corporate latter, eventually becoming the Topaz we know and love today. 

Throughout this, she maintained her friendly and headstrong attitude, and never abandoned her love for animals or the people in her life like Dvorski, a trait which will be important for later. 

So, I’ve established the basics, so what makes this interesting?

Topaz’s trauma and how it affects her character 

I feel like a lot of people ignore just how much trauma she really has, and how it affects the way she behaves in the present.

For starters, her love of animals. Sure, Numby is adorable and in general this is a rather fun trait for a character to have, it’s not something you would consider to be a sign of something darker. 

However, remember that Topaz’s planet almost lost all of the life on it, and she witnessed firsthand almost every creature she knew and loved either go extinct or become severely endangered. 

So, when you view her love for animals through this lense, it’s easy to see that she’s so attached to animals because Topaz almost lost them forever, and this trait manifests in a lot of the behavior she exhibits.

According to Topaz herself, her efficiency goes up 27% when Numby is with her, and it seems to be blatantly obvious that being around animals give her at the very least a peace of mind/sense of comfort. I mean in game she is Topaz and Numby for a reason, and her relationship with them is a core part of the way she behaves. When Topaz can’t ground herself, she has Numby to help her with that, which hurts even more considering she is likely going on these missions alone 90% of the time, meaning her literal only friend is a pet/animal. 

Considering Topaz’s biological parents never get mentioned, it’s not hard to assume she is orphaned or at the very least estranged from them, likely due to the disaster on her planet, leaving her only loved ones to be her pets and Dvorski. Losing one half of the only support system she has would be devastating for Topaz, which is likely why she brings Numby everywhere (also considering I don’t think she has mentioned him in the present, her pets might literally be the only things she has left). 

In her own home, Topaz collects a myriad of species from across the galaxy, as if to preserve them so at least even if they disappear on their home planets like hers did, they won’t go extinct entirely. 

Personally, I think her fixation around them cooperating and coexisting also reflects on how she feels about other people. If animals from completely different planets can get along, so can people. If she can convince creatures lacking in intellect work together, then she can do the same for ones that possess it, as ultimately Topaz is a massive people person, and believes what she’s doing is best for the galaxy. 

It’s almost like an experiment, with every little change to their ecosystems, every new organism added, every new abiotic feature taken or removed, Topaz can simulate what that might be like in reality. In a way she wants to take care of humans  like she does her pets, however instead of doing it through her own means, she uses the IPC and her power as a Stoneheart as a vector for that.

But why is she so confident? What makes Topaz wholeheartedly believe that what she’s doing really is the best for the galaxy, even if we know it isn’t perfect, even if only ~80% of the planets she works on are “saved”?

Well, like always, it’s her trauma again.

Imagine you’re living on a planet slowly dying due to its people’s greed and ignorance, in which everything you know and love is falling apart, and absolutely nothing can be done about it. But you don’t need to imagine this, I mean this is a situation we are all going through, as it’s already what’s happening to our planet right now, so perhaps instead picture what it might be like to live here in a few decades if nothing changes. How miserable that would be, how upset you would be at those in power, how disappointed you would be in humanity for doing Nothing when we had so much time and already knew the consequences almost a century in advance (seriously we have known about climate change since like the 50s). 

So you give up hope and accept your fate, accept that everything is going down in flames and the humanity, the planet you know and love is going to be snuffed out forever.

Only to get saved when an outside influence comes to your assistance. Sure, they make everyone sign a contract binding their lives to them, but you wouldn’t have a life to give had they not helped. Besides, you owe it to every other thing that shares your planet with you, every plant, every animal, every organism has been utterly wiped out by human greed, so it’s only fair to pay them back, right? 

I mean it’s your whole world at stake, so how could you say no? How could you deem their terms unreasonable if clearly your own people didn’t deserve the responsibility they had over their own lives? If their situations could only be fixed by giving it to others who could guide them? By giving it to the IPC? The Preservation ?

This is the mindset Topaz grew up on and has known for her entire life. She has seen humanity utterly fail itself and is unwilling to allow that fate to befall others. She doesn’t trust other people to make the right decisions, she doesn’t think they know what’s best for them, because the people she was closest to, her very own people couldn’t do that, so how could she ever expect strangers to do the same? 

How could she ever give the leaders of these planets the benefit of the doubt, knowing that doing that for her own almost caused it to be wiped out completely? How could she see them as anything more than the selfish bastards who ruined everything? How could her heart not ache thinking there were people on the planets she helps who would be doomed to experience the fate that almost fell upon her had Topaz not stepped in. 

How could Topaz feel guilty over the planets that don’t succeed? The ones she can’t save? As after all, she thinks they were lost from the get go? Does it eat her up at night knowing she failed them? That she couldn’t prevent the folly of humanity this time, so the next planet she must work harder, be more stubborn, push back even more, so nobody ever experiences what she did instead?

I mean being an indentured servant hasn’t been that bad for her, she’s succeeded in every endeavor she’s set her mind to after all. Sure, she’s entirely alone, and sure, if the IPC no longer deems her or her people useful, they could cast them aside once again. 

But Topaz is smart, she climbed to the top of the latter, she’s been praised to hell and back, she’s known far and wide through the department for her efficiency and drive, surely she hasn’t done anything wrong?

Sure she’s heard whispers, rumors and projects of other departments, of the deep dark secrets of the company she owes her life too. Inwardly she wonders how those who follow the Preservation would even be willing to commit such atrocities, inwardly she hopes they are just rumors. The IPC saved her planet, so how could they destroy others? 

The Preservation’s power will protect all, will save them from their miserable existences. Nothing else matters in the process, no dissenter understands this as like Topaz does. She will save them, she will protect them, even if it means she is detested by everyone she encounters, it must be done. All for the Amber Lord.

I find it very compelling how despite the fact that Topaz has become a Stoneheart, she is still dressed in the fashion of an average IPC worker. As if she is an equal part of the puzzle as them. Equally useful, equally disposable, equally biased, equally ignorant, and equally foolish. 

I mean, how could she be anyway else?

Her future

Belabog was just as important for Topaz’s development as she was to it.

She was wrong. 

As stubborn as Topaz is, she is not arrogant, and when Bronya proved to her that the people of Belabog can and would fight for their future, Topaz did everything in her power to help them.

As that’s what she really cares about, people. 

I think Topaz the determination she has in Bronya and it shook her to her core. 

Because so far, the only way Topaz has seen real progress is from the hands of the IPC.

But Bronya doesn’t give into them, and she puts everything she has into saving her people. Moreover, Jarilo-VI follows the Preservation as well, but they don’t agree with the IPC’s method of it. 

Is the IPC wrong?

That is the question Topaz is faced with, what is the thing she has to grapple with once she leaves the planet. When they demote her for not getting the debt back immediately, does Topaz wonder why they were so concerned about that in the first place? Shouldn’t they be happy that a world blessed by their very own deity managed to pick itself up without their help? Isn’t that the point?

Does she think back to her previous projects, the planets she saved and the planets she failed, and wonder how it would have worked out without the IPCs involvement? 

Did Aventurine teasing her about “failing” the Jarilo-VI project confuse her, because they were still saved like Topaz wanted them to be in the first place? How could they ever be considered a failure?

She believes debts and payback are what holds planets together, but it only ever seemed to cause Belabog to fall apart.

This is the first time Topaz really is forced to reevaluate her priorities, to question if her methods are justifiable, if she’s really doing the right thing.

Belabog didn’t break her, it didn’t topple her worldview and turn everything on its head, but it did plant some seeds of doubt in her brain, seeds of doubt that will grow into a new mindset. 

HOYOVERSE IF YOU ARE LISTENING HOYOVERSE, GIVE HER THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN + PRIORITY REEVALUATION ARC SHE DESERVES!!! DO THAT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS PLEASE.

Like you don’t get it you don’t get it what do you mean they set all this up and they might not go anywhere with it. Please hoyo please please please let her break away from the IPC’s condition and warped perspective, please let her truly follow the Preservation, please make her turn away from them, please make her an emanator of Preservation after she does this. Topaz stoneheart form, Topaz emanator form. Please please please let her save the crew let her save her subordinates let her save the people she failed previously let her save Aventurine and Ratio let her save Numby let her save herself.

Her instability 

I have already somewhat touched on this in point #3, but Topaz just cannot exist in the state she is now permanently.

Like a radioactive element she’s going to slowly decay over time until she ends up in a more stable form, and who that will hurt in the process, and how long that will take, we will have to see.

Hypocrisy is not something that can exist for long within characters, as due to its inherent contradictions, it messes with the way they are characterized until they are eventually forced to either eliminate it themselves or have the story do it for them.

Topaz is a hypocrite, desiring to do good and help people, but she ends up hurting them in the process. 

However, she has only just begun to realize this, and as more and more of the IPC’s atrocities get revealed, it gets harder and harder for both the audience and her herself to justify her behavior as we witness the extent of their crimes.

So how has she remained this stable for so long?

Well, the IPC has done everything in their power to keep her that way. From a young age she was involved with them, as they not only saved her planet, but her only known parental figure worked in the Strategic Investment Department. Soon, he recommended her to Jade due to Topaz’s exceptional talent, and presumably the other Stoneheart quickly picked her up and took her under her wing, causing Jelena to rise fast within the ranks and become one herself.

The IPC has been Topaz’s only frame of reference for how things should be done, her only perspective on write and wrong for so long. The only hints she gets of other points of view are that of the people who destroyed her planet, her own people. Unintentional or not, Topaz has been made to feel her whole life like the IPC are heroes and the common people are foolish and greedy and evil, and only now has that worldview started to crumble piece by piece.

Sure, we have always known how terrible the IPC was, a perception that has only gotten more and more true over time. However, Topaz is not the audience, and in universe the IPC presents themselves in a very positive light.

Think of the Myriad Celestia trailer and how it portrays the IPC; that’s quite literally how they want to be viewed in game, how they market themselves to other people. If Topaz has only ever known them to be that great, shining, progressive company who vows to follow the Preservation and improve the universe, how could even begin to criticize them? After all, she had never known any other perspective. Even when she did fail in the past, Topaz viewed it as a strike on her own record and an unfortunate situation in general, not as a demonstration of the IPC’s misdeeds. 

The IPC is good, the IPC saves people, the IPC follows the Preservation, Topaz is a good person, Topaz does good things, Topaz helps people, Topaz saves people, there is nothing wrong, there won’t ever be anything wrong.

Until Belabog

They don’t want to cooperate with the IPC. To roll over and let themselves be gutted for all they are worth. 

Well that’s fine, that’s happened before, at least that’s how Topaz justifies it to herself. She thinks of their massive debt, it must be paid after all, otherwise how could the galaxy remain stable?

But the weapons the IPC gave Jarilo-VI were never used in its defense. The thing they owe the IPC for never ended up being valuable. Belabog stood on its own, without the help of IPC in its defense.

They saved themselves.

As if it couldn’t get worse, they did it with the power of the Preservation.

And it didn’t come from the IPC, it came from them.

The Interastral Peace Corporation, who claim to be followers of the Preservation, standing against people who really do have their blessing and being proved wrong.

Do you know how that would feel to Topaz.

She’s wrong, and she’s proven wrong by the very deity she claims to follow, she believes she follows.

So Topaz makes her choice.

Stick with the IPC’s plan, or stand with the people of Belabog 

And she stands with them.

Topaz’s character never changes. I hate when people act like she switched up on them and changed her whole worldview, but in reality that was the most in character thing Topaz has ever done in her entire life.

Because she cares about people, so when the opportunity presents itself, she will always stand with them. 

This is the first time Topaz goes against the IPC’s wishes, and it won’t be the last.

She made her choice, she demonstrated who and what she truly cares about, and that will only drive a wedge between her and the IPC further and further until she snaps.

I find it funny how Topaz is a fire type character, when the song core to Belabog’s themes is “Wildfire” 

However, maybe it isn’t just about them. I think it’s about the Preservation, about what the game in general is trying to tell its players.

How fighting for your right to exist will hurt, but it is not impossible, and that pain will be the only way to enact change.

Well, Topaz,

you made your choice

go fight against your fate 

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed making this and I hope you at least understand why I think Topaz is such a compelling character. I need an arc centered on her in the future and if I don’t get one then trust me things will be dealt with. She will get her just desserts.

[creativity-deficient]

Opinions on tweeks Hobbies?

I hope you feel better bestie 🥺💖

(Sorry for the late reply, got caught up with work! Also ty babes! 🖤🖤🖤)

Anyways, I’m gonna be using this ask as an excuse to do an analysis of his room, as I feel like it says a lot about his character and the things he likes!

From this photo alone, it’s pretty evident that Tweek is a bit of a “jack of all trades”. He’s a kid with a very active mind, so it makes sense that this would present itself through his hobbies.

For example, there are quite a few items that point to Tweek being very dexterous and crafty. Model planes, legos, kinetic building toys, all suggest that he enjoys building and working with his hands, a good example of Tweek being a generally more right brained person. These types of toys can also be good for building up one’s mindset and keeping the brain busy, and are usually good for helping out with anxiety, so he could also enjoy these things for that reason.

The darts and the books are good examples of this too. Books are good for exercising the brain, while darts require focus and skill. We know from sot? (correct me if I’m wrong, my memory is fuzzy) that Tweek is (or at least implied to be) in the book club, another example of his interest in reading. Also, a lot of his go to weapons we see him with throughout the series seem to require some level of aim (a bow and arrow, a slingshot, etc), a skill I like to think he acquired through practicing darts.

Some of these might’ve also been gifts from his parents, hoping to help improve his focus.

We got some sporty stuff too-

A basketball hoop, what looks to be a kickball, and a football + football helmet. Asides from throwing around a football with the other boys at recess sometimes, and being on the baseball team (which all the boys hated), Tweek doesn’t strike me as the “sporty type”, and considering the balls seem to be tucked away in what looks to be a bin? and the helmet is tucked away under his desk, it’s hard to say how much he really uses them. These COULD be random hobbies he tried to take up to keep himself busy, or maybe he just has a secret sporty side we’ve never known about. The basketball hoop is probably just for fun though, and I can see him holding on to both the kickball and the football to play with his friends at recess!

There are a couple common interests too, things you might typically expect to find in a young boy’s bedroom, such as dinosaurs, toy tanks, and a racetrack.

I think what really stands out to me though is what looks to be a trampoline next to the race track? And also this big ass sword??

Seriously, how the fuck does he even hold this thing??? Lollll 😭😭

Don’t really have analysis on either of those but, they’re certainly interesting!

Also this doesn’t have to do with his room, but, I’m also such a sucker for the baking hc, that he gets more into baking after put it down, and forms an actual career from it in the future! I think it’s really cute!!

[puhpandas]

This might come off as controversial, but Steel Wool is not immune to criticism. I don’t like how Steel Wool is treating Gregory for numerous reasons, but them setting him up to be a bad person feels wrong when no other child character is treated this way. They don’t want to acknowledge him as a victim and like okay, we get it, we hardly see his trauma, but hello? Is he not still a child? How is he any different from other kid protagonists that wanted to live in this franchise?

There’s a higher standard for the games sure, but it’s weird to me that background book characters get treated way better. They don’t want him to be exactly like Cassie, which understandable, but we’ve already seen few Cassie characteristics from him? To ignore that is ignoring a big part of his character. Why would he do anything in the story then if he was just as bad and destructive as they portray him as? He still needs motives, even if they want to strip him of any characterization so we never feel bad for him. They’re actively refusing giving him positive attributes because they’d hate it if he started challenging other characters/fans favs, but that’s what makes a good story compelling. It feels like they’re taking their anger out on him through their writing if that makes sense?

I’m a little concerned he’s gonna be the one who dropped the elevator because it feels true, otherwise why would RUIN be so full of blatant Gregory hate? They want us to hate him, that’s quite all there is to it.

them never showing us him as a character on a normal day and only when hes in a life or death situation making a split second decision that could decide the fate of himself and everyone he loves definitely has something to do with it. they only show his 'blunt' decisions to do something bad for a good reason, and not what he would be making that decision for. we never get to see him just be a normal kid, we never get to see him after sb deserving to have that happy ending, we only see the bad

but I dont feel like this is just. we hate this 12yo character and like the other one better so we're making him evil and shitting on him. they probably do want people to see the bad things he did for a reason that we dont know yet.

them framing Gregory as cutting the elevator whether he did it or not was very blatant in that decision. it feels like they want to give him a 'redemption arc' in the eyes of the fandom in come kind of way since people have disliked him from the very beginning. like they want us to see him do these bad things, and then maybe theyll actually show us that he didnt want to do these things later, and maybe things will be different.

like, I cant be the only one who feels like Gregory and the elevator is a setup for something. obviously to trap cassie down below, but in that case they didnt have to make Gregory be the one do drop it, just blatantly the mimic. they want us to believe this for a reason, and that would be to show us at the very least a reasoning later. I dont believe that reason is just "we fucking hate this child character and want everyone else to as well" that's just. crazy to me.

they wouldnt make Gregory do many kind things for other characters if they hated him. they wouldnt have had him comfort cassie on her birthday and make them canonically close friends if they wanted to make him genuinely heartless.

keep in mind that with SBs nuked characterization and no focus on Gregory since then, we havent even gotten to see his pov in a long time. just Cassies so far, and Cassies story is pretty much built off of perspective. the MIMIC is literally a tool to make characters perspectives about eachother change or distort because it would frame a character as doing something they didn't

mimic is literally going to be used to cause confusion and distrust within characters and it literally did that and accomplished that in ruin. cassie is going to believe Gregory cut the elevator whether he did it or not. and that's why I genuinely believe he didnt. why on earth would they introduce a character that's main purpose would be to do bad things to characters in another characters name to cause drama and then just. have the character have actually have done it lmao.

TLDR: I dont believe steel wool would steep as low as to make a 12yo kid trying to survive actually evil or even just hate him as the creators, and I also think the story of cassie and ruin and beyond is designed off of making Gregory look bad (the mimics purpose as a villain being causing uproar and doing bad things in another characters name to cause distrust from another) from Cassies perspective so he can appear later and disprove those beliefs as a sort of 'redemption arc' to cassie and the fans

[krystal-kade]

You know,the worldbuilding for hazbin and helluva are interesting but at the same time,I feel a bit bored by it. Sorry,it's just it has potential and all of that but hell is just like a nighttown that you can go there and suffered no consequences. And I know helluva is a spinoff to hazbin hotel except it's just destroys the both meanings of it. Especially since hazbin is about redeeming sinners while helluva boss is just don't get mad at me but just soap opera between an elitist with a peasant. I thought helluva boss is gonna be us seeing the IMP doing their missions and encountered many different challenges on navigating a business not seeing a dramatic retelling yaoi festizhization love story of stolas and blitzo. And with hazbin,it's just I wanna see hazbin having different customers and guests and how they interact with the hotel not a literal fight with heaven of all things. What's next? Do I need to get into getting myself info a lore Livestream of Viv telling us? No,I want subtle storytelling not an Italian soap opera,ah man. Ah,now because of this I have to entertain myself with fans making fanmade comics of both helluva and hazbin hotel and I'm not complaining because let's face it,fans does it better than the creator Viv does.

Vivziepop so quickly strays from her original concepts, and it makes both shows difficult to watch. The last Helluva Boss episode that includes I.M.P. going to Earth on a mission to kill someone is episode 5, ‘Unhappy Campers,’ and that was only Millie and Moxxie. The last time the whole team went was episode 4 of season 1! Helluva Boss is now just a show about Viv’s twinks and kinks. I genuinely think I’ve seen enough of Stolas for a lifetime. There’s so much potential with a show like this, and I would have loved to see Helluva Boss explore both Hell and the Human World, but it does neither. There are so many ways this show could be executed to explore the worlds and character dynamics, but we barely even know anything about how these characters interact with each other.

Hazbin Hotel does the same thing. We have the possibility to explore Hell and Heaven, but we don’t. Hazbin Hotel is also supposed to be more about the women characters, but we know very little about Charlie, Vaggie, Niffty, or any of the other women; we instead get episodes about Husk, Alastor, Lucifer, Angel, Vox, and Val. Hazbin was supposed to be about new people coming to the hotel to learn about redemption. The only person we actually get is Sir Pentious, who doesn’t even change or learn anything about virtue and redemption. We also kind of get Cherri, but she isn’t even part of the hotel. 8 whole episodes for two official people in the hotel. I’d rather we see people coming to the hotel and learning about redemption for an entire season instead of the drama we see go down with Adam and Heaven.

Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss just move WAY too quickly. I think it’s even difficult for fans to write fanfics and comics about these characters because they have nothing to go off of. Almost none of the characters have personalities, and we don’t know how they interact with each other. However, I do think that Viv’s Hell is an interesting world. I just wish it was explored more. We’ve only see a few of the rings, met a few of the sins, and seen very little of Hell at all. I have no hope that Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss will be better shows, the only hope I have is that in 30 years, someone reboots these shows, and actually makes them good.

[soloorganaas]

Im very curious about your thoughts regarding sirius holding everyone - but not remus - responsible for their actions 👀

I have a lot of thoughts which are not organised at ALL so I’m just gonna ramble a bit and see if they form some kinda answer

so as I said in those tags: choice and responsibility are central to who Sirius is. he sees himself as the sole agent of his own life because he’s made these huge and difficult decisions to reject the path other people chose for him. so because of that he holds himself entirely responsible for his own actions and knows he has to be ready to pay the price for them. it’s why he carries around an enormous amount of guilt about James and Lily’s deaths, because he sees it as something he was responsible for and he failed at. but it’s also why he’s so comfortable being rude and abrasive or not repressing his feelings to make other people happy - he makes a choice knowing the consequences and that he’s prepared to deal with them.

Sirius also views the rest of the world through the same principles and he judges the actions or inaction of those around him through it. if you do something knowing the consequences it will cause, or fail to act whilst pretending there are no consequences, he holds you responsible for that. the most obvious example is Peter, who he sees as having committed the ultimate sin in capitulating to the wishes of others because of his own cowardice, and enabling the murder of their friends because of it. and if you see loyalty as a form responsibility as well, then it’s a double crime in Sirius’s mind.

he treats James and Harry the same way. he tells James bluntly that Lily rejects him because he’s an arrogant ass. he calls Harry out when he’s being reckless or irresponsible, not in the sense of him being a disobedient child, but as someone who understands the consequences of his actions and needs to take responsibility for them. I actually can’t think of a single person in the series who Sirius has some relationship with that he doesn’t criticise, except Remus.

this fascinates me, because of all the people Sirius could get angry at, Remus is the most likely target. we know for certain he believes to some extent that Sirius is guilty of murdering innocent muggles and betraying James and Lily (a huge grey area as to what exactly he believes but that’s another post) and doesn’t challenge his 12 year imprisonment. then there are all the things that aren’t explicitly stated in canon so we can assume Remus did or didn’t do: he didn’t try and contact Harry or get involved in his life in any way despite the fact he was the son of Remus’s best friends and an orphan; he didn’t advocate for Sirius or challenge his imprisonment; he didn’t tell the authorities or even Dumbledore about Padfoot, or hand over the Marauder’s Map, when he still apparently believed Sirius was out to kill Harry; he didn’t contact Harry at all after PoA; he didn’t do anything to advocate for Sirius even after he knew he was innocent, or assist him whilst he was on the run.

I personally think there are defenses and explanations to literally all of this, but that’s not the point. Sirius always holds people accountable for their actions first and foremost - it’s only then that he considers their justifications with how he responds or whether it affects his view of them or their relationship. but we never see him hold Remus accountable at all. the closest he comes is a brief acknowledgment that Remus falsely believed he was guilty, which is then quickly forgiven.

obviously we could blame this on shitty writing, but I think that’s a lazy explanation, especially when Sirius is such a complex character. the next explanation is that we simply don’t see this confrontation play out because it doesn’t happen in front of Harry. I think this is a decent one, considering that we already know Sirius and Remus have a completely different and much more open relationship in private, from the snippets we do see through Harry.

but even if Sirius does call Remus out off screen, he still places a wildly different level of accountability on him than he does anyone else. between the end of PoA and the end of GoF, Sirius would have had to fully process what Remus had done enough to verbalise some really complicated feelings; confront Remus about them, which in any realistic relationship would not happen in just one conversation; process whatever Remus had to say as an explanation or defense; and then accept that enough to completely forgive him. because the level of trust and intimacy they show in OotP can only exist between two people who’ve worked through their past mistakes and have built a new relationship.

so taking all that into account: either Sirius forgave Remus with illogical ease, or he didn’t blame him much in the first place. either is a wild double standard, but to me in my little headcanon it makes sense. I think Sirius does have a double standard when it comes to Remus. I think he sees him through this lens of Remus being exceptional, because to Sirius he is. there’s something Remus sees in Sirius, some person he allows him to be, some bond they share that could never be possible with anyone else, and I think that Sirius just fundamentally cannot break that. he’ll let almost anything slide. I think it’s the same for Remus, by the way, and one of their most toxic and delicious dynamics. but Sirius is always willing to give so much more, just by his very nature, that means he compromises to an unhealthy degree, and I definitely think Remus takes advantage of that sometimes. this was a lot of my thought process behind a grave mistake and it’s soooooo delicious I want to dig into it so much more.

so I guess my conclusion is that Sirius is a better person than Remus but too unhealthily in love and/or traumatised to demand better of him. or that there are unknown events outside the narrative that absolve Remus of everything! but I prefer the first idea 😈