#but they can't get out of their own way and do weird fucking nonsense

[fallenneziah]

How they are in bed

Includes John "Soap" MacTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John Price, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick.

CW: pretty self explanatory, NSFW

Soap 🧼

He can be a Dom and a sub, just say the word. He loves to be dominate but can let you take the reigns no problem at all.

Has a mommy/daddy kink when subbing.

Sloppy oral. Super oral fixation and whether he's given clit or cock he will lose himself on you. Sloppy and greedy he'll could make you cum six times and he's still not satisfied, holding you down and lapping at your cum through your sensitivity.

Absolutely a brat and will try to provoke you.

Loves to wear clothing he knows will make you want him then and there.

Will also try to fuck you on mission a lot. One big horny brat.

He's down for any position but loves when you'll pretzel/saddle with him. It just gets his heart going in ways he's never felt.

Eye contact or not, if there's no intimacy to the interaction he cannot enjoy it. One night stands will him to an orgasm probably, but he doesn't truly enjoy himself without the intimacy.

Your nipples also fit into his oral fixation. They could be sore and sensitive but he'll suck and bite your sensitive nipples until he can't get anymore.

The kind of guy to get so drunk he's spilling nonsense before you are. loves watching you roll your hips, thrusting along his cock so nicely. How your insides clench and tighten around him so greedily. It makes him feel so good.

If he's subbing you must pull his hair. "Mommy/daddy!! I'll be a good boy for you, I promise- augh!!" Once you start pulling his mohawk it's over for him. He's cumming regardless.

Loves orgasm denial no matter what way it goes if you're torturing him or vice versa.

Loves rough sex but will also wake you up early in the morning, ready to soak in your presence with gentle love.

He loves to call you his sunflower (gn), mommy/daddy, and the more teasing and playful name Sud. (Get it, like, soap suds?? Ok, I'll go)

Ghost 💀

He hates being called daddy. If you call him daddy he will immediately lose all arousal in the interaction. But if you call him sir, or lieutenant, he will lose his mind over you. "Sir- I'm so close, please l-lieutenant!!"

He doesn't want to disclose it but he's kind of kinky. He never wants to hurt you, and despite popular belief he is not a sadist unless he has your full consent eight times over. Consent is so important to him you don't understand. If you have not confirmed to his face in simple words you like something, he will not do it.

Impact play. He loves to bend you over doggy style and slap your ass until it's red and sore with his handprints. They're like his way of marking you even if they will disappear soon.

Doesn't have much of an oral fixation but will mark you with so many hickeys it's impossible to hide them.

Bites your inner thighs. Before he takes you in his mouth to give you the most heaven forbidden, bone hollowing oral he will nip and bite your inner thighs and along the soft flesh under your ass.

He does not sub. He's not always a strong Dom unless he's in the mood but he does not like to sub at all. He likes to be in control at all time and a lack of such will immediately pull him out of the experience and turn him off.

Fucks like an animal. He enjoys consent but once he's getting it he will fuck you until you forget your own name. He pulls your hair to arch your back and wraps his hands around your throat.

He could fuck you Doggystyle or have you on your back facing him, your legs resting on either of his hips.

He doesn't like to fuck in clothing. It's just weird. He will only wear his mask or his gloves to fuck you and nothing else.

If you wear one of his balaclava's in bed- sorry but you will be getting zero rest.

He does not have a very high sex drive but he's the kind of guy who can get you to orgasm eight times by the time he cums.

He calls you his precious whore, baby, love, and his only.

John Price 🥃

Definitely Doms. And he Doms hard.

He likes to tie you up in his office while he does his paperwork, disregarding you except for you needily grinding your wet cunt on his shoe or rutting your erection into the sole of his boot.

Loves to be called daddy. It goes right to his cock. Will praise you throughout sex or daily tasks. When you finish up a ton of paperwork he will kiss your neck and mutter "Such a good girl/boy."

"When you're finished up your tasks, daddy has a reward for you." And that reward is fucking your throat.

He enjoys watching you squirm helplessly with him. Lighting up a cigar while you grind against him, trying so hard to come while he refuses to touch you.

Strokes his fingers through your hair while guiding you down on his cock.

When you're in the privacy of his room he likes to fuck you in front of the mirror, forcing you to watch your entrance stretching and welcoming his cock. "See how I wreck you sweetheart (gn)?? Look at your hole taking daddy so well."

Is always open to trying new stuff with you as long as it does not involve hurting you too much.

If you bug him while he's in his office he will either make you fuck yourself on his cock while still sitting in his chair or he'll pick you up like you weigh absolutely nothing, slam you on his desk and demolish your hole while you scream his name.

Although he really enjoys sex when he can admire you doing all the work. Touching you during sex depending on the. He instance isn't always a huge turn on.

He loves cowgirl, watching you writhe on his cock, shifting your hips, your thighs burning in exhaustion to keep yourself going while Price does absolutely nothing to help you.

Eventually when you give in he'll take your hips and proceeds to fuck you silly.

Loves receiving oral over giving but when he does give oral he sends you to heaven for a quick checkup before you come back to your body and realize you just came so hard.

Calls you his good girl/boy, daddy's whore, princess, darling (gn), beautiful.

Gaz 🧢

Can dom and sub. He isn't always a strict Dom but you will be reminded he is in charge.

Loves to control what you are allowed to do during sex. If you are reading a book and he wants to delve himself on some oral, you better not say a fucking word.

He loves giving and receiving oral, keeps it's clean for the most part but when he makes you cum he laps at your delicious spend, all for himself.

Loves to mark your beautiful skin with hickeys and nip at the sensitive patches, hearing you gasp and whimper.

Doesn't have any special names he likes, if you want to call him daddy or Kyle, it all does the same things to him.

Also the type of guy to fuck you in the mirror and make you watch your own face as he gives you what you want.

Hard sex, rough, desperate, carnal sex. He's rearranging your insides, especially if it's after a mission. The rare occasions when he's gentle is in the mornings when his cock is pressed between your thighs or lazily dragging in and out of your tight hole.

Can and will spit down your throat. If you open your mouth for a prolonged amount of time he is lubing up your throat with his own saliva.

Can get absolutely bottom drunk like Johnny. Lapping at your pre-cum and licking you through your overstimulating. Loves to nip your clit or your balls just to be a bit meaner while you writhe from just seeing your life flash before your eyes.

"Look at you, absolutely destroyed by my cock. Look at your beautiful face sweetheart. Such a beautiful face ruined on my cock."

Loves for you facing him, legs over each of his shoulders or sometimes both legs over one shoulder while he fucks into you.

Aims to please you over himself 9/10.

Loves to call you sweetheart and babe most.

[leathfaic]

Every year around Easter Ghost hides somewhere on the training grounds. If you find him you get half of his leave.

Soldiers all around go fucking feral, Ghost never takes any leave and there's rumours that start around Christmas of how long you'd be able to go home. Weeks probably aren't enough maybe a few months? Some are sure it's at least a full year.

Except of course no one ever finds him.

He's the Ghost and if he doesn't want to be found he isn't. He's just taking the piss, enjoying how the event has people riled up for weeks. He's not one for practical jokes, but this has him cackling.

Enter Soap, the FNG, the man who brings Ghost to his knees. They do their whole song and dance, and come Easter Ghost is hugging his boyfriend before preparing to hide.

Soap promising with a cocky smile that he'll find Ghost and they are going to use that leave for a nice holiday. Which Ghost smiles at, his sweet naive Soap, as if he's gonna hand him a win just because he loves him.

Imagine Ghost's shock when a few hours later he spots Johnny from his hiding spot. He's still high in a tree but the other man is walking directly in his direction and after a few moments he looks up.

Once Ghost is down the tree, still incredulous, but also very much in love, he asks Soap how he did it.

"Let my heart guide me, L.t." is the answer he gets which he calls out for the bloody nonsense it is.

Takes him all the way back to base to make him talk. And even then Johnny just hugs him, reaching around putting a hand in his back pocket (not unusual) and digging around (definitely unusual). Producing a small piece of technology.

"You fucking tracked me?!" his jaw nearly drops at the realisation.

"Aye, slipped it in this mornin' when we hugged."

"You little shit." is all that his brain will allow, mostly hung up on the cocky smile on Soap's face. The same as this morning.

He should be fuming. His proud record broken, he actually has to make good on the promise that so far has been all but hypothetical. Price will be in hysterics about the amount of paperwork that comes with it.

But he can't find it in him to care. He's mesmerized at Soap outplaying him. Drunk on the weird sense of pride that Johnny is so observant and skilled. Most of all he's blown away by the fact that he never even considered the possibility. It would be easy to blame hubris here, but that's not the reason no-one ever pulled a similar stunt.

No, Soap was able to do this because Ghost let him get close. Because he trusts him.

The Ghost that met Soap a few months ago would've panicked at this point. Soap had not only seen his weak spot, he clearly was also cunning enough to use it to his own advantage.

The Ghost that has been loved by Johnny for months now doesn't. Because he trusts him. And because he's proud. And because the rational part of his brain realises that any enemy agent would never have exposed their advantage for a game.

"If you ever do anything like this again-" he doesn't need to know where he wants to end that sentence, but Soap's interjection saves him the trouble "No worries, I like meself alive too."

He'll still have to be careful next year. After all he found a worthy opponent and he can't just make it too easy on him. Probably can not let Soap touch him before the game. Maybe not even the night before. Just to be safe. A fortnight should do it. But that also means a fortnight of not touching Soap...

But he can consider that later. For now he and Soap have a holiday to plan.

[mythbringer-mayhem]

GODDAMNIT

man, I was just scrolling and now I'm a goddamn Raidioapple shipper what the FUCK

Ok ok-

And now I'm going to elaborate just because.

I was expecting someone out there to ship Lucifer and Alastor the second I heard Hell's Greatest Dad. I mean- two people singing/arguing over being father figures? Sounds gay to me /pos. The internet sure does love it's enemies to lovers (me included. I'm hopless lmao.)

BUT. I have specifics for this ship.

I hate it when people just look at Alastor's aromanticism/asexuallity and just go "nah. I'm just gonna do it anyways." I used to headcanon Alastor as complete aroace in the sense that he just can't feel that way for someone (this is not meant to sound like "oh he can't love anyone :( he's incapable" I mean specifically a romantic/sexual relationship.) Then fucking short ass king of hell arrives, and Alastor just IMMEDIATELY chooses violence.

I didn't think much of that besides "oh that's a little interesting," and then I stumbled across Radioapple and had to take a double take. My brain needed to figure out how that would work, like how it would start, flourish, ineract, yadda yadda-

.....so now I consider Alastor Demiromantic-

(I'm still goddamn writing jeez-)

Read on if you like random people looking wayyyyyy too much into fictional characters.

Headcanon timeeeeeeeee

When Lucifer and Alastor first meet, Alastor is surprised Lucifer doesn't know who he is. Up to this point, everyone knows about the terrifying radio demon, so it must be a little weird for someone to be completely ignorant to his existence. Especially when that person should probably know the ins and outs of what's going on- ....because he's the fucking king of hell.

This is something new for Alastor. It made him curious. When you're curious, you try to learn more right? So, Alastor starts pushing Lucifer's buttons, seeing how he reacts. On Lucifer's end, Alastor's just being a smug asshole. However his true intentions are information on the esteemed oh-so-powerful king of hell. Maybe Alastor doesn't quite know where this fascination comes from, but regardless he wants to learn more. I can picture him progressively bothering Lucifer more and more (this is his unique way of getting to know him semi-discreetly)

As well as figuring out what ticks him off, Alastor would also probably passively learn things Lucifer likes. For instance, he finds out what Lucifer's favorite alcoholic drink is or something- bare with me- Let’s say Lucifer has a rough day, and it's very clear to everyone in the hotel. While he's frustrated in his own room, he hears a knock at the door. Answering it, he finds his aforementioned favorite drink. At this point, he wouldn't know who left it. But after a while, he'd be able to figure out it's Alastor through process of elimination. (This is inspired by a comic I saw! :))

Now we've got Alastor trying to discreetly be kind to Lucifer, and Lucifer is aware without his knowledge. And Lucifer would call him out for it lmao. Slowly, they'd start acting friendlier towards each other. It would take a long, long time though. The slowest slow burn of them all. They'd hang out more, do things, kick angel ass, have friendly banter, do stuff with Charlie. Untill Alastor finally realizes that he might have a crush on Lucifer. Though, I feel he'd take a while to fully figure that out, do some soul searching, maybe go to Rosie for advice.

Then they'd confess. Or they wouldn't lol. I can totally see them going on what is essentially a date, even though they just consider it "hanging out". It would be a quiet relationship. Something you'd miss if you aren't looking for it, but it is there. They both just need someone they can rest with in my opinion.

These ideas are probably sporadic and nonsensical- but I ✨️don't care✨️ I just needed to rant about the old timey deer man and the short depressed apple gremlin.

[cthulhusstepmom]

Evidence that Sergeant John "Soap" MacTavish is not what he seems-Lt. SR:

Soap smells like rain, it took a while to put it together because it's not Soap himself that emits the odor, it just follows him. It's less potent inside and when it's sunny outdoors but if you concentrate it's always there.

He has never been observed touching a gun or grenades without gloves. Almost every other explosive he handles with no regard for his own safety gloves.

HE EATS WEIRD SHIT. While he doesn't eat much of the food on offer from the cafe, he does eat consistently when outdoors, usually plants or flowers. Things he has eaten: dandelions(edible), garlic(edible), thistle(edible but he ate it with the thorns), foxglove(toxic, showed no adverse reaction), Several unidentified flowers and berries, grass(technically edible?) Etc.

Will sometimes refuse to enter a place before abruptly going in. The data is not consistent between different buildings or locations. Further research is required.

Sharp teeth.

Groups things in nonsensical ways. He will only fill a magazine with bullets that total a multiple of 7 or 3. The same for what weights he uses in the gym. When drawing or eating he sorts by 4s. He traded his room to get #13 (right next door, coincidence?).

Cameras will not focus on him, whether photo or video he is never in focus regardless of distance or conditions.

He has never once been in medical for more than half an hour, usually much less. Even though his hands have light burns on them almost constantly.

Dogs hate him. He seems ambivalent towards them and he's never been bit that Ive seen. Cats adore him as do birds.

John MacTavish does not blush. Not for lack of trying even when genuinely flustered or hot, his skin does not flush.

Ghost sets down the small notebook with a minute sound of frustration. The evidence is all there but looking at it, what does it really say? Other than that he's an obsessive creep. A series of quirks and coincidences compiled by a paranoid son of a bitch into a fucking stalker journal. But still, Simon can't help but feel like he's right and he'd be dead a million times over if he simply disregarded his intuition. Even if it is something batshit insane.

At this point however it seems that it'll drive him mad far before it yields any answers. After scouring what little resources were comprehensible on the internet he'd started growing out his hair, intent on tying it in knots to prevent charms. Leaving him with a problem he'd not encountered since he'd first donned the mask: unruly curls and balaclavas don't mix well at all. He'd also kept a piece of stale bread in his pocket for days as he'd read it was a repellent to- and he can't even believe he's considering it-fairies. It backfired, if anything Johnny had been more attached to him and even more touchy than usual. He'd left a small deli cup full of coffee creamer outside his door overnight and found it neatly placed upside down where he'd left it with not a drop left. Ghost chalked that up to some wise guy playing a joke or an exceptionally dextrous cat and firmly shut the door on any other possibilities in his mind. His next test had been a gift of clothing mixed with complements, he'd read that both were likely to drive away any Other. It hadn't been a very extravagant gift, a new pair of gloves and a gruff "well done Johnny" but at the time it had seemed to be the final nail in the coffin as Soap had gone white as a sheet(he can do that but he can't blush???) and scurried off. A quiet dread had filled his stomach the whole day until Soap turned up at dinner, a little quieter than usual but wearing his new gloves and eating more than usual(a scoop and a half of mashed potatoes with 4 packets of butter and 2 packets of sour cream as well as a cookie. The main course of spaghetti and meatballs went untouched though Gaz snapped it up before it could truly go to waste). Though when Ghost returned to his room late that night after trudging through hours of paperwork he found a pile of tiny, aromatic, pink flowers on the floor in front of his door and on top of them a shiny metal comb. Simon's tired brain hardly stopped to think of any of the dire warnings he'd found on forum posts and folklore sites alike, crouching and tenderly retrieving the piece from its bed of flora, careful not to crush any of the tiny blooms. Well... With all the knots in his hair-purposeful and otherwise-he's going to need a sturdy comb anyway.

[cryinhell]

so no one asked for this, but here's a post about my favorite Hazbin Hotel ships ( romantic and platonic) and what I hope they explore with them in the show.

1) Huskerdust/Angelhusk/Casino Hearts (Romantic)

Obviously, I got to start with my favorite romantic pairing in the fandom. Angel and Husk are my favorite characters in the HelluvaVerse, and both mean a lot to me. They are both old men born around the same time with a lot in common, and I know they would be close buds. From everything we have gotten in canon( fake instagrams which are not canon but in character, the fun hunicast streams, viv admitting to shipping them and allowing huskerdust into the merch, the fact that Husk was made to be Angel's bestie, and a lot of unnecessary information I know lmao, I do not doubt these two will be canon. I can't wait to see their friendship grow and all the trials and tribulations they will go through to become better for themselves and each other. And hopefully, the fun shenanigans that they do because I love me some shenanigans.

2) RadioHusk (Platonic)

Okay, so Husk's relationships with everyone interests me, but this one is probably the most after AngelHusk. It's clear these two have a past and that Alastor is comfortable enough with Husk to be incredibly annoying around him. Alastor is Husk's boss and most likely owns his soul, but there's also a strange bond between them I really want explored. I think Al loves Husk in a platonic and weird way because he's most likely his best friend, but Alastor may not be able to always express this normally. Husk is a good guy and a bit complacent, so he just deals with this shitheads nonsense and doesn't seem to fear him. Maybe there's some fucked up things between them and maybe their friendships has cons and pros. I'm not entirely sure, but I can't wait to find out

3) Angel and Vaggie (Platonic)

Okay, most of these are platonic ships, but whatever friendships are important. I love these two judgemental assholes and the way they judge people together. It truly is gay and lesbian solidarity, heh. They are gonna be the best of frienemies, and I can't wait for their relationship to be explored.

4) Voxval (Romantic)

Okay, I hate these bastards with a burning passion, but that doesn't mean their relationship does not interest me. Vox, Val, and Velvette are going to be the main villains of Hazbin Hotel, and without knowing too much about them, I'm excited. I want to know how Val and Vox are going to be as a couple. Since the instagram accounts are not canon, it is hard to tell if Val will be abusive or not. This is a possibility since the accounts seemed to be in character, but I want a different approach. I think it would be interesting for these two to genuinely love and respect each other and no one else. To see themselves as the true rightful kings of Hell and work together to destroy and belittle whoever they deem below them. It's an interesting dynamic that I prefer more than just "Val is abusive to poor baby Vox" cause Vox is also evil, and I want him to do evil shit.

5) Chaggie (Romantic)

There's not much to say about these two. I just think they are cute, and I want to see more of them.

6) The Hazbin Gang (Platonic)

And lastly, I can't wait to see how all of these fuckers get along and interact. As a group, I'm sure they will be very entertaining and I will enjoy every minute of it. Also, I am including Pentious because I know he's part of the main cast now, and I love that. Can't wait for these idiots to try and make this hotel work and hopefully grow together in the process.

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam - Special Chapters

Spoilers for the special chapters below.

SHEZ VS BYLETH

I didn't get the special chapter for SB or GW. SB, I just straight up did not care. GW, I tried, but it involved an "escort Claude" part and he just sat there and didn't move forward, and I didn't care enough to bother with the chapter a second time.

Shez sounds like Arval. Did Arval take Shez over? I'm guessing to go after Sothis?

Oh, cut scene! Shez vs Byleth again.

Byleth holding his own against Arval!Shez. Good to see. Shez is trying to hold Arval back though.

So . . . if we kick out Arval out in these chapters, does Shez loose their abilities/special class, because no :(((((

Felix, Dedue, and Dimitri are worrying about Shez and Byleth (also, awesome to see all my favs). Rodrigue has news about what happened.

Scouts report that Byleth and Shez are fighting. Felix accuses that Dimitri suspected this.

Dimitri tells how Shez worried that TWSITD would take over her. And Dimitri's promise to kill Shez to stop her from killing others.

Oh, we cut straight to the battle and have to defeat Shez. Makes sense. I'm guessing do it before Byleth dies?

My Shez is, eh, a bit stronger than Byleth, so I'm a bit worried. But Dimitri's such an overkill at this point, he's just going to blaze through this chapter like he did the last one.

It's weird not having Shez among my playable characters. I'm using Jeralt instead of Shez for my missing 8th person because he's the highest level (and I can't use Byleth either so).

Edelgard is around somewhere? Claude showed up to hunt her down.

My Byleth is like 10 levels below Shez. It's not going well.

Atrocity is one hell of a drug. Took Shez out.

Defeating Solon feels good. Got a cut scene too. He just ran away though. Wait, Arval/Shez killed Solon? Ohhh, like Solon killed Kyrona. A sacrifice is needed to open Zaharas. Karma I guess.

Claude and Dimitri talking is kinda cool. And weird Edelgard showed up. It's so amusing to me that they wrote themselves into such a corner with Edelgard they just yeeted her brain lamo.

ZAHRAS

Arval is talking to Arval.

Dark Arval created Normal Arval because Dark Arval wanted typical TWSITD nonsense, domination, restore the world to TWSITD, etc . . .

And in the most shocking twist, Normal Arval is programmed to kill Sothis, so therefore Byleth, and while Arval took over Shez.

Oh, Shez woke up! And Claude's there with Dimitri.

So they all got sent to this Zahras place.

Shez doesn't have a lot of memory of what just happened, and tells Claude and Dimitri about Arval, who's gone though.

Now they have to find a way out of this mess.

Dimitri found Edelgard. Since there's like 4 people, no one plans on fighting each other until they get out. Then it's time to kill people.

So Edelgard doesn't remember what happened and got some spell cast on her by TWSITD.

Claude cheerily tells her what a fuck up her country is lamo.

There's this mini map with the 3 lords just standing there, chilling, in this dark abyss place. It's pretty funny looking.

All my other units are gone, but I expected that. Dimitri's my most overpowered unit anyways.

DIMITRI & CLAUDE

Is this like some kind of support?

So AG Claude wants to get rid of the central church and kill Rhea. Like, I'm down for removing any sort of political power from a religious institution, but this fixation on Rhea is weird.

Lamo, is this game serious? Did it really just blame nobility and arrange marriage on Rhea?? OMG.

I knew Claude went completely dodo bird in this game, but he somehow became even more of an idiot?

I'm kind of impressed lol.

He drank the Edelgard koolaide.

Dimitri's like, well, as long as you just dislike the church and not Faerghus.

It's interesting for Dimitri to acknowledge that his personal beliefs and his beliefs as a king are sometimes at war.

He also lays out why Claude's plan is an awful idea. Meaning, all the death and suffering he'll cause.

It's just a classic, Claude is too rash - Dimitri is too cautious.

Claude tells Dimitri that he's too good for him. And that they could've been friends if kingly stuff didn't get in the way.

It's overall a fine support, except this absurd idea that the church is solely responsible for stuff human nature always comes up with, and I think it's more a symptom of a huge flaw in the Fodlan games as a whole than anything else.

DIMITRI & EDELGARD

Dimitri finds it hard to talk to Edelgard because of all the people she's caused the death of. But way more polite.

Edelgard doesn't feel that way. Which, not surprised. She doesn't really care too much about the people who've died like he does.

Lamo, she also is way less polite and is like "you don't want to talk to the tyrant who's gotten everyone killed." See, though, it's acknowledgements like this that make me like this game more. She knows that's what she looks like to everyone not in Adrestia.

Dimitri gets annoyed with her for placing words in his mouth. And good for him. That's always annoying.

Edelgard is less confident than Dimitri that he has no regrets of his actions and carefully considered all of them.

Oh, good, Dimitri asks about Patricia. But Edelgard doesn't know what happened either. So, still no answers about her.

Dimitri wants to just end the conversation. I am loving how much he really doesn't want to talk to her. It's so different from Claude who he was curious about.

She falls down because dark magic place does it's thing, then helps her stand up, and they get a picture, which is cool.

It reminds her of when she fell once and took the help without thinking about it. Now she thinks about it.

Dimitri remembers helping a girl up.

I see where this is going, but it's funny such a mundane thing will trigger important memories, lamo.

Edelgard is like, yeah, knowing you, you probably helped a lot of people get up who fell down.

I'm living for these supports acknowledging that Dimitri's a way better person than the other two lol.

He's like, naw, it was you. Edelgard keeps insisting it wasn't her.

He calls her El at the end.

Is this the same support in SB? It works for AG, but man, this asshole just killed Sylvain (and Annette, and Gilbert, and Ingrid, and Rodrigue, and tons of other people from Faerghus simply bc she wants that land back), so I'd be furious seeing it there.

In AG, though, it makes sense.

BACK TO THE CHAPTER

Dimitri's the only one who asks about Shez's wellbeing. Does their dialogue change in different routes?

Oh, cool, I had some access to stuff like the blacksmith, which makes no sense, but ok.

Bad Arval showed up behind Shez, but she alludes it.

Arval says none can escape. But I doubt it.

Dimitri's like, that's bullshit, bc there's no way they'd build this without a way out, and if they can get out, so can we.

And then Dimitri's proved right when Arval says he'll leave, alone.

Ok, I learned this other Arval's name, but I am not going to spell all of that.

So like, after this, do they all just go back to war? Because if they do . . . lol.

They let you use all the 3 lords, but I'll probably only use Shez and Dimitri. Neither Edelgard nor Claude impressed me much when I started this game (and at the time I started, I liked Claude a lot more than I do now).

Oh, so a dark Hubert, Hilda, and Felix showed up. A bit sad it wasn't Dedue, though. I feel like he deserved to be the BL rep even if Felix is more popular. But maybe it was for variety? Like Dedue is another axe like Hilda, but then switch Claude's people out.

At the same time, Felix makes sense, esp in Hopes. He and Dimitri are practically married lol.

Dimitri's like, that's not Felix. He wouldn't get mad at me for doing this and not avenging people. He's not wrong.

Ohhh, not they're fighting phantom versions of themselves.

They had some throwaway lines explaining why Edelgard is normal now.

Lamo, Edelgard doesn't trust herself.

Meanwhile . . . Dimitri . . . is like, really excited about this. Because he gets to kill a version of himself. :((((

Claude's line wasn't as interesting as the other two. I know. Shocking. /s

Dimitri wants to thank Arval for letting him fight and kill himself. I cannot with this man.

Evil Claude just about totaled regular Claude. Edelgard isn't scratched though.

Edelgard and Claude were way more normal about reactions to fighting themselves lol.

I had to make Claude an adjunct. He was nearly dead. It's actually surprising how much worse he is than Edelgard. (Dimitri's not fair to rate against them since he's more built out and not dropped into this map for a one-time battle).

Ok, he summoned more dudes to protect him, and one was a Shez copy the other Dedue. So Dedue got credit too. So now I'm less conflicted about Felix making an appearance.

Shez is upset at fighting herself.

Dimitri feels awful about fighting the shades this time. He's only motivated by all the people he's kept alive in real life.

I defeated Epimedes. That seemed too easy.

Cut scene fight between Shez and Epi. It's pretty badass looking in the dark magic place with falling rocks everywhere. Like, in a cheesy but just roll with it way.

Shez wins. Arval pops back up and they almost hold hands. Arval's never felt more alone :( Honestly, kinda sad things end badly for them. So not recruiting Byleth gives Arval a better ending? Will Arval not be there in the final map before the final battle?

They escaped!

Dimitri's like "it felt like a strange fever dream" and honestly, not a bad way to describe it.

They lost Edelgard and are we back to the normal stuff? Oh, no Shez asks to go back to the search for her and the others. Claude wants to get back to his people too.

Ok, so moving onto the final chapter now.

xxx

[ghostlykeyes]

Hihi! May i request power and denji w/ a shy s/o? Thank you <3

You're very welcome! 🖤

Denji

Denji thinks it's absolutely adorable that you're shy. Every time you all-but-shrink behind his shoulder in a crowded room his heart speeds up a little in his chest. He won't make a big deal out of it, especially if you see your shy nature as a flaw, but sometimes he can't resist mumbling a "God, you're so cute" against your ear if you lean in to him, whispering your thoughts so that only he can hear.

Denji has no issue speaking for you, if that's what you want. Tell him what you want at a restaurant, and he'll unflinchingly order for you (most of the time, he asks for an extra dessert, even if you didn't say you wanted one--because fuck it, every day's better with some sweets). Hold a ringing phone out to him and he instantly knows he's supposed to answer for you. Someone tries to strike up a conversation in line at the grocery store or next to you on the subway? Don't worry, Denji's right there to take the heat off you.

Despite this, Denji still encourages you to speak up for what you want or need. Whenever you manage to push past your shyness and assert yourself, he always congratulates you afterwards, no matter how small your act may have been. "Hey," he offers you a lopsided smile, "When you told your roommate to start doin' their own dishes? Badass. Ya did good!" He completely means it, too! He's beaming with pride whenever you push past your shyness.

He knows you need some extra support, so Denji's on you like glue at social events. If it's something more casual, like a hangout with friends, he keeps his arms wound around your waist in a permanent hug, or pulls you down to lounge in his lap while you socialize. Anything more formal sees his hand locked through yours. He rubs his thumb reassuringly against your knuckles if he senses you're getting a bit nervous or uncomfortable. While the PDA might fluster you a bit, especially because he's openly showing you love in a way that tends to draw attention, he reasons that the reassurance you get from his gentle, encouraging touch helps you feel more secure.

If he can tell you're obsessing about what you said or how you acted in any given situation, Denji encourages you by pointing out just how weird people are. "Don't worry too much about it, cutie," he reassures, ruffling your hair. "People are really freaks...I don't know what to do around 'em either, most of the time. Trick is to just not let it bug ya."

Though he's not one to tease (much), Denji does love to fluster you with constant compliments. He knows your shy nature means that professing his love will put an adorable blush on those cheeks of yours. He loves to tell you how your smile makes his chest feel all tight and tingly, or that hearing your laugh makes his whole day better. When you giggle shyly and hide your blushing face, he feels a swell of pride that he managed to get such a cute reaction out of you.

Power

Power tries to understand, she really does, but for the life of her she can't figure out why you're shy. After all, what does a smart, attractive, funny, caring person like yourself have to be nervous about? Especially around a bunch of puny humans! (If you protest and tell her that you're also a puny human, she just scoffs. "Nonsense," she proclaims, "You are in a league all your own! 'Tis obvious!") Even if she doesn't get it, though, she does her best to be supportive.

Power will absolutely speak up for you, which is nice, but she sometimes gets what you wanted to say hopelessly scrambled up, which is...less nice. You need to be very clear with what you want if you'd like her to relay it. Otherwise, you might end up with your friends thinking you said their Saturday night plans were foolish or your boss fuming that you want to quit without notice. She'll always rectify the situation if she accidentally lands you in hot water by speaking for you and saying the wrong thing, but damnit if you haven't received a handful of angry phone calls from people convinced you told your girlfriend to go insult them. (Power, even if she fixes the mess, is never sorry. Any misunderstandings she creates, she simply shrugs and blames on 'fickle, obscure human communication'.)

If there's one thing Power's good at, it's getting the attention of everyone in the room. When you're together in public, though, she does her best to dial her over-the-top personality down. She hates seeing you nervous, so even if it's extremely difficult for her to lower her volume and stop manhandling Denji, Aki, or you, Power attempts to control her antics. She expects her efforts to be rewarded with a generous amount of kisses, of course.

Bless her heart, Power wants to help you any way she can, but she just doesn't get humans sometimes. One of the better ways she helps you feel more comfortable is by draping her jacket over your shoulders, surrounding you with skin-warmed, comforting fabric. It smells like her and is just big enough to make you feel guarded, protected. One of the worst ways she tries to help you, though? Threatening everyone in the room. "You'd better make my darling comfortable," she places her hands on her hips and bares her fangs in a threatening grin, "or I shall make you regret ever talking to them in the first place!" Thankfully, she doesn't do the latter anymore if you ask her to stop...not in front of you, anyway.

If you just don't want to be around people, that's totally okay with Power. In fact, she prefers hanging out with just you! She'll drag you all over the place for two-person activities. Power thinks it's much more fun holding your hand as you throw bread crumbs at ducks, or ride the Yokohama ferris wheel, or monopolize the swing set in an empty playground. She'll take that over mingling with puny, insufferable humans any day.

[bonefall]

So, since BB!Ivypool will use her newfound deputy status to force a confrontation with Dovewing- how would she react if Dovewing snaps and told her to her face that she never, EVER wanted to speak with her again after everything? Like, would it click for her that even if she deeply regrets the way she treated her sister, no matter how sorry she is its up to Dovewing if she's ever forgiven? Or does she blame Heartstar thinking she turned her sister against her?

Let's pop open the hood of BB!Ivypool and her fucked up little life, and every person she's been leading up to the end of BB!TBC.

All of this starts with her father, Lionblaze, raising her with this axiom; That you are given strength to serve your Clan.

While he used Dovepaw and her powers in service of ThunderClan (often fighting with her mentor, Birchfall), Lionblaze encouraged his daughter to involve herself in Dark Forest training. Ivypaw felt like this was how she "earned" affection from her Ba, with hard work.

Just as Lionblaze believed that his physical abuse at the paw of Ashfur made him stronger, Ivypool also came to believe that growing up thrown to the wolves made her stronger too.

So when Dovewing first started to... not even REJECT the idea, just display any resentment towards it at all, it's like a personal slight.

No one ever fucking listens to Dovewing. No one cares what she wants. Just what she can do for them.

And Ivypool was super part of that. Her mentor is Brightheart, who often overexerts herself as an expression of PTSD. She saw Hawkfrost "die" turning against Tigerstar for the greater good. She sees Bumblestripe "working so hard" to "help Dovewing adjust" while she's losing her hearing.

In her eyes, Dovewing was being selfish. Look at all these people who give EVERYTHING to their Clans-- how dare you try and make it about yourself?

Tigerheart, in and out of their life constantly, gets blamed because it's a lot easier to pin it all on the Evil Codebreaking Foreigner than admit that maybe Dovewing has a point. Ah HA! THERE is the villain responsible for making my sister act weird! I knew it all along!

(Plus Tigerheart and Ivypool got pitted against each other a LOT in DF training because Ivy was Hawkfrost's apprentice and Tigerheart was Tigerstar's, for some incredibly fucked up projection reasons you'd expect of Tunnelbunstar. Ivypool will nonsensically blame Tigerheart like she's a Dinkleberg.)

(Also tbf tigerheart would 100% let her believe it, 1. Because it's funny, and 2. Because it takes the heat off Dovewing)

And Ivypool was VICIOUS about this. AVoS is still getting shuffled but if anything vindictive she did towards Dove in that arc gets removed, I will replace it with something just as bad. She would actively sabotauge ShadowClan if it meant keeping Tigerheart away from Dovewing.

She can't handle the thought of losing Dovewing. At some point, it became about control. It's her insecurity towards herself, towards her family, towards all of her losses, and even towards service of her very Clan.

And then Dovewing booked it. Couldn't handle this shit and panicked and BAILED.

And THEN it's about getting Dovewing BACK. She's even dragged Fernsong into this and tried to leverage his friendship with Dovewing to this end. She'll even support Bumblestripe when he tries to argue for an invalidation of Queen’s Rights on technicality.

Ivypool: "Those kits are Bumblestripe's! He has a claim! They even have HIS MANE"

Heartstar: "Hmm. No, it is very clearly MY mane."

Ivypool: "You can't-- wait what?"

Heartstar: "Lightkit even has my beautiful smile <3 so fuck off, maybe?"

For a long time that's where Ivypool was. She was the awful, vindictive sister-in-law constantly trying to weasel in to make Dovewing feel bad. When she had kittens of her own, she was still in this mindset.

It didn't end well. In BB!TBC, Bristlefrost needed her. Ivypool stepped in to prevent her from being the impostor's pawn, but refused to do anything when she was caught and imprisoned for being in a HalfClan relationship. She needed to be punished as a codebreaker.

Brought to the next Gathering, the impostor reiterated the need to enforce the code, and desperate times calling for desperate measures. He called for SkyClan to punish their own warrior. They refused to make this a public spectacle.

So he sliced open her throat, right on the branch beside him.

Ivypool didn't imagine she would be KILLED. Suddenly her whole world shattered. The moon stayed clear and bright. Her daughter was dead before she hit the ground and she had HERSELF to blame.

Dovewing and Ivypool served in the rebellion together, and eventually Ivy went into the Dark Forest as a Light in the Mist. She watched Bristlefrost die, AGAIN, knocking Ashfur out of the sky and burning them both up in orbit, and how brave Shadowsight had been in pinning him in place.

Ivypool NEEDS Dovewing to know now that she's different. She's learned a lot. She understands so, so much more now...

But DOES she? She still hates Heartstar's guts. She still feels abandoned. How different ARE you now, Ivypool, with your renewed interest in finding some petty reason to skirt around Dovewing's direct wishes? When you're still here getting into blowout arguments with Heartstar?

So to answer the question, if Dovewing told her directly, "I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DESPERATION. IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS. PISS OFF"

Ivypool would not be able to accept that.

It just wouldn't stick, ever. It really is desperation. Dovewing NEEDS to know that Ivypool loves her and misses her, and that she understands, but also that Heartstar is delusional, and this is still kind of Dovewing's fault. And Ivypool will do anything to make her know this.

But I also DO want to say; this is a very unique weakness. It is Dovewing Derangement Syndrome. Ivypool is a competent deputy, and she is a devoted and respected warrior of ThunderClan. It will be no surprise she's being picked for deputy, especially considering (god willing) Squirrelstar is seeking war with ShadowClan.

She is a good friend, mate, and leader. But BB!Ivypool is so, so fucked in the head about Dovewing. This family can fit so much trauma in it

[jal-the-jinxed]

Adventurers Guild Time!

Simon and Betty where scholars at the Akademiya where they met and fell in love <3

Fascinated by the potential power that could be harnessed from the remains of powerful beings (kinda like what he talked about when reading about Golb in the show), Simon and Betty invent Delusions.

Around the same time, they get engaged and Betty takes a trip to visit her family to tell them the news, the calamity happens when she's away.

Unaware of the consequences, Simon begins using a Cryo Delusion to try and fight the monsters, beginning his decent into madness.

He continues to use it after realizing the consequences, believing it to be the only way to survive and protect the little girl he found, Marceline.

Simon, a pure-blood Khanri'ahn, receives the curse of immortality, and Marceline recieves the curse of the wilderness (The curse of the wilderness in the au turns people into things from the show like vampires, oozers, hyoomans, etc).

By the time Betty returns and finds Simon he's completely mad.

Betty dives into trying to cure and protect Simon (she's kinda like Signora and Dottore jazzed together in this au).

She does Anything and Everything to try and save Simon, driving herself insane with forbidden knowledge, doing all sorts of experiments, and eventually turning her body into living flame a la liquid fire Signora style.

Ice King gives her his Cryo Delusion to help her control the flames.

Betty joins the Fatui as a Harbinger upon being promised resources for her work and brings Ice King along with her.

Simon's Vision went dull when he went completely mad, so Betty makes him a new Cryo Delusion to give him some power.

Ice King is as well-known among the Fatui as a Harbinger is but only because of his relationship with Betty. She's the only reason he's there and the only thing he's loyal too. He'll abandon or sabotage his own missions in order to prevent casualties or just genuinely screws up, forgets, or doesn't care. He'd probably be kicked out or killed by the other Fatui centuries ago if it weren't for Betty. To the Fatui's enemies, he's more of a nuisance than a threat.

Betty is Stronk and doesn't fuck around so nobody dares to oppose her about her crackhead fiance and his weird penguin (except probably the other harbingers).

She does her best to take care of Ice King but also can't stand that he isn't her Simon. She often sends him on lots of nonsense missions to keep him away when she doesn't need him around for experiments or to have as a lackey.

Betty's both chaotic and enigmatic. She's hard to read or outwit and seems to care for very little. Even though she's a Harbinger, she's only truly loyal to Simon and her personal goals.

Lich and the abyss??? Billy would have a role like the traveler's sibling, fighting until possessed by the Lich and thus "joining" the abyss.

Finn and Jake as the traveler and Paimon- Finn, a visionless human, wants to become a great hero like the legendary Billy and travels Teyvat to do heroic deeds and retrace the footsteps of his idol. Jake joins him because he's a good bro.

Unlike the game's traveler who can connect to all the elements, Finn is a strong hero bc of his heart :)

[002yb]

Just saying

✨️Rockstar!Dick✨️ and ⚡️bodyguard!Jason⚡️

Slade having his own security company

Takes point with Dick as needed because Wayne Entertainment pays the prettiest penny (and lbr Slade is begrudingly charmed by Dick - the punkass fucker)

Scheduling conflict leaves Slade unable to partake as Dick's security detail; can't skip on current job, but won't pass on offered job, either

Reluctant and resigned to put his best underling on the job, but desperate times call for desperate measures: Jason

Specifically smaller!Jason. Who still had a rough upbringing on the streets and is a bit stunted for it.

Slade making the introduction

Dick immediately refusing

Jason bristling because fuck you

Meanwhile Dick's band/entourage/what-have-you cackles in the background because 1) Jason is petite and 2) there's no way Dick isn't going to try and fuck him

Dick is aware of this. So is Slade. Hence Slade's aforementioned reluctance and resignation. Jason is someone he trusts and has confidence in though. There are no safer hands for Dick to be in.

Meanwhile Jason is oblivious, thinking he's being refuted because of his stature.

'You will not fuck him.'

Jason startling because what the hell? Of course he won't fuck the client what even - only to realize that Slade is leveling with Dick, their client. Jason's flabbergasted. Absolutely floored because obviously Dick won't want to fuck him and -

Dick with his hands raised, smile cheeky as he laughs under his breath, shameless although he's been caught out, 'No promises.'

And Jason keeps his composure because professionalism, but he's also flustered because for fuck's sake, if only Slade or Dick knew that Jason has crushed on Dick from the start of his career; Jason would bend over for him right then and there fuuuuuuuuuck

Yeah, that's right. None of this 'never heard of you' nonsense. No 'I don't think you're all that good; prove me wrong,' plot line here. Just Jason trying to be a professional and Dick tormenting him throughout because Dick isn't a fool - he knows; he's no stranger to attraction.

They do keep it professional though hahaha. Flirting aside, it's just playful banter and fun. A slow burn where Jason plays bodyguard/caretaker/boyfriend.

Dick and the band/entourage/whatever being struck dumb when Jason lays down a threat that tries to charge Dick

Petiteness be damned, Jason is dangerous

And Dick is a client with nerves of steel, tbh. He really just watches unblinking in the face of oncoming disaster and Jason thinks it's weird af.

Dick claims it's because he's not worried; he has full confidence in Jason

Tbh though Dick can look after himself really well (has learned a lot from various people throughout his life, Slade included; thought about turning in the glitz and glam for law enforcement. Got relatively far with that, too, so. Security is more a precaution than anything; more eyes are better than just his, sometimes).

When Dick shares the above, Jason grimaces and complains that Dick has never been more unattractive, wanting to join ranks with pigs

Arguably Dick is already among pigs (music industry, entertainment as a whole)

Jason scoffs because Dick isn't wrong. WE arguably most ethical of the lot, but still lacking; he sees firsthand the workload put on Dick and it's infuriating

Anyway, bonding over Dick wanting to be a cop because why???

Dick open and honest that it's because of all the young people he encounters. Terrible life circumstances and he helps them with what he creates and being a distraction, but wants to do more than that; hates getting on stage knowing what he knows because he wants to help all these people who help him

Jason scowling because damn, there Dick goes becoming all attractive again

Jason admitting that he was actually a social worker before Slade picked him up

Which. What? Really?

Jason brushes Dick's interest off. It was a short lived career. Jason didn't even make it a quarter of a year before he was let go of for being 'too combative.'

'That's part of your charm.' Dick teases him and Jason scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking away, cheeks flushed

Caretaker!Bodyguard!Jason

This has it's own little section because just like. Jason can't do anything about Dick's schedule, obviously. It drives him up a wall how Dick is run into the ground though.

What's more infuriating is that it's partly by choice that Dick does it. Those extra things Dick tacks into his day are so wholesomely good though that Jason can't protest.

Just Dick doing make-a-wish type things; taking time to meet and greet, charity events, etc.

Depending on when Dick has ten free minutes, he'll nap

Jason's shoulder and lap become designated pillows for said naps

Jason allows it if only because he sees Dick putting in all the work

Also - Jason chasing after Dick with food and snacks because when Dick gets going he stays going and get some fucking calories in omfg drink water or Jason will funnel it down his throat so help him

Unrelated notes:

Bodyguard!Jason who also writes poetry

He keeps it in a tiny book and doesn't share because he thinks it's embarrassing

Dick adores it though

Dick writes little music notes over top of them - rough melodies

[yloiseconeillants]

@eorzeanflowers asked: 16 17 (For the GAP. :D (I love that this the acronym))

16. One thing one character likes about their partner(s). 17. Now one thing that the other character(s) likes about the first chara.

I had to crowdsource this answer again, so (putting it under the cut because there's some Strategically Censored Nudity in one of the screencaps lmao and also THIS IS GOING TO GET VERY LONG)-

Ariadne would say that One Thing She Likes About Kytheon is how easy he is to talk to - like he's so worldly and full of stories so you would think he wouldn't care that much about whatever petty nonsense was flitting around your head, but that's not what he's like at all? He manages to listen to people in a way that feels engaging and vital and makes her feel like less of a fool every time they have a conversation.

Kyth @mythandral: She's social and warm and has a great laugh; he likes how their modes of affection are very similar. She's his hug go-to (and god, what an honour) (TRULY)

Ari ADORES Mori and admires her so much. The first thing that comes to mind is how like, subversive Mori seems in a place like Amaurot - that she does what she wants and isn't as plagued by the pressure to conform to Amaurotine social rules as Ari feels like she has to - and that feels so freeing to be in her presence.

Timoria @lilbittymonster: Mori loves Ariadne's devotion to her projects and her fascination for flora whenever they manage to get her outside of Amaurot. Amaurot is always so obsessed with the perfect and the grandiose that it's refreshing to be around someone who finds beauty in the mundane and the rot and the little things in the soil beneath them.

She would say that Minthe always knows exactly what to do (from Ari's perspective at least) - like not just like, knowing what would get her up in the morning or how to exact righteous vengeance on Hades - she just seems so confidently Right about everything. I can easily see the two of them collaborating on Something and Ari Not knowing what is Off about it but something is wrong - and like, Minthe swiping a quick taste or look at it and knowing exactly how to fix it.

Minthe @tallbluelady: The nice thing about Ariadne is that she's real passionate about the strangest things.

Ariadne and Icarus have never done anything wrong in their entire lives and they know this and love each other.

Icarus @hermits-hovel: I imagine he grew to like her a lot during the theatre days. She was a LOT of fun to work with and probably didn’t fret about the same things that he did lmao (something that would’ve kept him grounded tbh. Which IG applies also to their mutual cope later but idk. Ari’s personality gels with his in a lot of ways and I love it.)

Ari would like, really struggle to put into words to a neutral third party something that she likes about Ras so it would probably be something like "Ras can lift me to windows I cannot reach on my own" gkslgk. But what she would WANT to say if she could form words about it is his gentleness that she witnesses in small moments - with creatures and with her (i think about his futile attempts to do Nice Things for her when he thinks she won't remember and it kills me because of course she does. Her memory is fucking excellent which is why she has to go to Mnemo to erase her memories in the first place - and that she sort of recognizes what he is attempting but knows he doesn't do this when she's sober creates a maelstrom of an overthinking loop - like does Ras only like her when she's drunk and she should never mention this to him ever since he only does it because he thinks she won't remember so she will lie about how much she can't remember from Last Night but hopefully in a way flippant enough that no one is worried that she's joking about getting black out drunk on a regular Basis) ANYWAY outside of the agonies watching him with creatures feels like a Secret and she treasures that

Erasmos @azure-dragonsinger: Ras likes that Ari cares about her weird mushrooms, that she fills silence easily and generally admires how sociable she is. (He also likes that she got him to come out of himself and included him in things but he also didnt like that so he doesn't want to encourage it XD) Also also its Ras so he'd just be like "Ari's pretty cool."

Ari would just be like "Panthea is the coolest person I have ever met in my life" and then go on to list in graphic detail all the gross stuff they've been up to. (i just want to like, point at the bit about staying within societal expectations again, because like, I do think that Ariadne really does struggle with this, especially considering that like, she's friends with people like Kyth and Mori who make it seem so easy to buck expectations [even if that's not actually the case or not] so having someone like Pan around who is like, deeply entrenched in Amaurot and its ways and bureaucracies and still manages to navigate it and find space to be true to herself is so so so inspiring)

Panthea @whatsthisascianbullshit: And as for Panthea I think it's definitely an admiration of someone who is also interested in the less idk pretty? parts of how nature and life works and forges onwards in that interest while navigating staying somewhat within Societal Expectations™️ she really loves how Ari seeks to include people and I legit think she gets little flutters every time Ari turns her smile towards her. It's warmth and inclusion and staying up late drunkenly discussing the impact venom glands would have on the decomposition process as far as fungus was concerned

BONUS: not GAP members but friends regardless:

Ari thinks Ares is a very intense person and loves that? But also their willingness to put up with her nonsense fbslgjd i don't think she expected that from Ares and is completely delighted (and will be careful to not push her Chaos Agenda too much to the point of discomfort)

Ares Nemo @abyssalmermaiden they admire how she's found what she likes (fungi and decay) and gets creative with it. And she's fun to be around and doesn't make them feel like they need to be defensive (the way many academics do)

Ari loves that Daedalus is both passionate AND good at what he does and the gremlining is SO FUN. Daedalus is fun! Even his fucking giant robot castle of Depression is fun when it isn't trying to kill her.

Daedalus @azure-dragonsinger: Daedalus has a deep and intense fondness for how much of a gremlin he and Ari could be together and that is absolutley something he really values even after they both leave the theatre.

[sapphire-weapon]

I think the fact that so many people want to label Leon/Ashley as canonically "sibling- coded" is because they feel threatened in the way they view other of Leon's relationships, they can tell Leon and Ashley have chemistry and they try to convince themselves that they have a familial bond going on (like Ellie/Joel) so that they can justify not shipping them and making people who ship it feel bad/weird.

Because nowadays so many people can't just dislike something, they have to make up a reason why it's morally wrong and unacceptable so that way they can bully people that think differently and feel like their own personal opinions are objective and right while everyone else is wrong smh. This is mostly the case with younger fans (tho a lot of people older than me does this too lmao) so that's why I don't really find it frustrating bc it's most likely they have limited real life experience. Plus they might not be that good at interpreting canon from contextual clues yet.

In my case though I think a lot of these people are actually doing the opposite tbh because to me it just shows that they recognize that Ashley's relationship with Leon is real and they can't even concede that they're friends in the canon because they know it could lead to something else if followed through in the story, they admit there's potential there subconsciously with how hard they try to make it seem otherwise with nonsense claims. It's like when insecure guys feel uncomfortable but try to seem tough by buying big trucks and having guns on them all the time lmao.

So, I've talked about this before -- about how the "sibling coded" or "problematic age gap" discourse is just modern-day fandom's way of slutshaming and engaging in casual misogyny in a societally acceptable way.

I'm pretty confident in saying that anyone in my generation who slaps "siblings" on Leon and Ashley are probably people who have another ship and have had it for a while and don't want Ashley getting in the way of it, tbh LMAO

Like.... my generation has co-opted the current generation's vernacular, but make no mistake about the kind of bitches we are. We're ship war bitches. That's all we've ever been AND WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OUR WAYS NOW fjdskfh

But if we're talking about the current generation...

Media illiteracy is a big factor in this. It's no secret to anyone that the US education system took a massive shit starting in the late aughts/early 2010s, and things like critical reading skills aren't being taught in schools anymore.

I graduated high school in 2007. Two years later, I went back to visit an old English teacher to get a letter of recommendation, and he was lamenting to me that he'd just given up. It wasn't worth trying to explain the deeper themes of Beowulf to kids who didn't care, because the only thing that mattered was getting them to pass standardized tests.

So, now, without an overt, explicit declaration of love or something visually concrete like a kiss, kids literally do not have the skills to parse through a text and pick out themes and tropes and use of symbolism and imagery. They were never taught how to do it.

But there's a more culture-based thing happening here, I think. It's this fucking mess of a cocktail of internalized misogyny paired with learned helplessness, social anxiety, intense sheltering possibly exacerbated by the pandemic shutdowns, peer pressure, and internet purity culture.

I think it's pretty safe to say that fandom is predominantly made up of women and teenage girls. That was true in the 60s in Star Trek fandom, it was true in my generation, and it's still true today. And what I've seen happening today is that young women are absolutely terrified of their own sexual agency -- because the internet keeps telling them that, if you're under 18, it is wrong and bad and unacceptable for you to engage with anything even remotely sexual and how dare you express your sexuality -- and you'd better not do it not just because it's wrong and bad, but also because you are GUARANTEED TO BE PREYED UPON IF YOU DO. SEX IS DANGEROUS ALL OF THE TIME AND YOU'RE LITERALLY TOO YOUNG AND TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING SO DON'T TRY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Because if you're 17 and he's 18, he's a pedophile!!!!!!!!

I just.

So, we've now basically turned an entire generation of young women into the same type of young women who created the BL genre in Japan. These are women who were too afraid to explore their sexuality on their own, and it felt safer to do it with two male characters, because it was always more "okay" for men to be sexual. This is happening here in the West, now.

Slash ships have always been a thing in the West, but not to the degree that they are today. In today's fandom, if you have an M/F ship at all, you are outnumbered by at least 3:1 -- because M/M just "feels" safer for a lot of the current generation.

So, I think young women look at the Remake portrayal of Ashley Graham, and they identify with her. A lot. They're probably around her age, and her personality is very relatable to the kind of girls who play video games. Ashley's clearly introverted, but she's a fast learner who just wants to help, and she's got a good heart and a weird, kind of awkward sense of humor.

And, not only do these girls identify with Ashley, they're probably thirsty as fuck for Leon.

But that's terrifying to them.

Because they have been taught to fear their own sexual agency. The idea that an attractive, traditionally masculine, older man would be romantically or sexually interested in them is immediately categorized in their brains as wrong and bad -- and they don't want to think of Leon in that way.

So... for them, it can't be romantic. It can't be sexual. But there's clearly something there, but Leon would never abuse or prey on anyone so... that bond must be a perfectly innocent familial affection. That's what it is. That's what it has to be, because anything else forces them to face the uncomfortable reality even young women like them go on dates and have sex -- and sometimes, it's with men like Leon.

So, they thirst over Leon at a safe distance through Luis, primarily. Or they self-indulge on reader fic, because that's so much easier to write off as "just a fantasy" and not a statement on who Leon actually is as a character.

And it's just kind of sad, man. It sucks to see this happen to an entire generation of young women.

That's why I don't really get mad when I see the "siblings" shit out in the wild. I just feel sad for those people -- because they can't just say "I don't like the ship." They're so insecure and neurotic that they have to think of a reason why the ship is literally impossible to ever happen so that they don't have to be worried about it.

One day, they'll finally suck a dick for themselves and learn that it's not that serious. It's really fuckin not. Dicks are stupid, and the boys that are attached to them are even dumber.

[house-of-daena]

nonsense abyss genitals. flussy oozing sparkly slick call that glittoris or something idk. i always hc the abyss as having monsters that are "really weird" compared to the surface (for presumably obvious reasons) so like. i always envision everything as hermaphroditic & genetics are bullshit so all of it crossbreeds to make continually more horrifying abominations. looks like an h.p. lovecraft setting down there & i sure will be "crafting" some love

anyways. you have to figure out tartagalicious' genitals because not even HE knows what's going on down there (he has never actually checked either) but ohhh boy. if you can beat him in FL (as in the location /j) the Abyssal Monkey Brain's gonna be like "oh, a stronger being who won't immediately kill you AND has expressed the desire to do fuck you before? You need to breed with it Right Now"

i always envisioned him having, like, a weird tentacleussy (which tends to default to Penis Mode because tart is AMAB and identifies as such) hidden beneath a slit at his crotch which tends to be covered by plating for safety & murder reasons. but strip all of that away and you have some vaguely familiar stuff to work w (there's a hole that likes having things in it & the tentacles in there also like being touched). once you figure out what does what and where what likes going then it's remarkably easy to get tart going in FL because there's a LOT of fucking for a being of the abyss to do (its nature as a devouring force of greed & such + the hazardous environs making it important to have lots of babies as often as possible for maximum likelihood of passing on genes). + your own personal efforts to contribute to the tartaglia sluttification arc of course

& like. everything in the Abyss tends to gradually change shape over time to adapt to stressors & the environment & such so if you fuck his ass a couple of times then his body WILL start self-lubricating & requiring less & less prep. which ALSO means stains in his underwear because he GUSHES if you turn him on too much :( in FL he also tastes like. a taste that you can't really describe but it's definitely there. something about it reminds you of stars and a yawning, yawning void but don't think about it too hard

— 🐺

BY THE GODS I HAD TO PAUSE MULTIPLE TIMES BC THE WAY YOU WORDED SOME OF THESE WAS SO HILARIOUS 😭😭😭

i like totally agree with 100% of what u said. like not even kidding. i bet childe is soooo hesitant on letting u fuck him in his FL form bc. shit. what if he loses control and FL hurts u bc you r not well versed with his body as he was.

imagine his pussy having constellations on it 😭😭 "babe is that the big dipper??" no bc grrr his labia has ridges on it... omg his insides feels like churning when u fuck him. his hole feels like it has. tiny tentacle like feel that wraps around u n making it hard to pull out. like! idk 😭

u mentioned the survival thing in the abyss so everytime u fuck him it's like he's on heat 🤭 ur balls r gonna be drained dry and it's ur fault for wanting to fuck the monster HAHAHA full on breed him n full him up with littol monsters in his tummy

ALSO AAAAA his body adapting to ur horny ass omg 😭😭 i can jus imagine how easy to turn him on after you've fucked him so many times... just a hand on his thigh? the seat where he sat would be SOAKES immediately right after and he's purring and whining n tuggin on ur arm like sir. we r outside but i like ur thinking 😊

hc his pussy moved like a mouth so it feels like it's sucking u while u fuck hehe..

[thesporkidentity]

an incomplete list of texts i sent as i slowly lost my mind over the second book of rivers of london, because i fully intend to drag at least one more person into this pit with me. come read with me i promise you're gonna feel so good and normal over this book, come closer

wow okay peter remains the absolute horniest bastard ever. is he a tits or an ass man? yes

oh we are just getting the surface levels hints of nightingales MOUNTAIN of unresolved PTSD and i am very 🥺

you ever feel like a character was written specifically to appeal to you? i'm getting so many tantalizing hints and i KNOW he's going to destroy because he's catnip. he is bait specifically designed to hurt my feelings

also his description makes me think of lee pace or like, 90s/00s paul mcgann and that's just Very Good and i'm being deeply not normal about it

also nightingale reads as SO queer to me, and the potential in fic to explore what that means insofar as how he has navigated the changing landscape of queerness from 1900 to present day is so tantalizing. i don't care that the author says he's not, in this case the author is wrong lol

i must say, i do not care for simone. if we absolutely MUST have hetersexual nonsense in this book i would like beverly back please. she was cool and not a cheating homewrecking jazz groupie lol

still not impressed with simone. i mean, far be it from me to judge a woman's grieving process and all, but she doesn't seem very broken up over her within-the-week dead lover. i mean, i LOVE peter and all and he's hot shit, but immediately falling into bed with him? sus

in conclusion bring 👏 bev 👏 back 👏

also peter, buddy, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

he's a disaster so even though i'm screaming DON'T DO THAT i am unsurprised he is being led around by his dick by a beautiful woman throwing herself at him

but i just. i Don't Trust Her. she doesn't make sense, and i can't tell if this is a case of male author writing wish fulfillment and thus not giving the hot girl adequate motivation of her own

or whether i AM supposed to find it suspicious the way she basically doesn't mourn the man she homewrecked who died very suddenly and then IMMEDIATELY jumps into bed with the magic cop investigating his very probable murder

and i REALIZE the only way to find out is to keep reading, it's just frustrating that women are written poorly so often that, even if he's written good women before, i still have to debate with this is a subtle clue or just Male Author Syndrome

oh my god he finally twigs that this may be weird behavior. peter. bud.

at least he got it before trying to sneak her past folly wards?

side note: god lesley really got the short end of the stick. like, her face fell off, her teeth are a fucking mess, and she probably has brain damage. she got royally shafted

peter "i'm totally straight" grant, talking about how he wants to take a muscly guy by the shoulders and kiss his cheeks and making sure to mention how many phone numbers her got while canvasing the gay bar.

hmm sure, jan

look i KNOW peter is Incredibly Horny All The Time when near any attractive woman, but simone appears from NOWHERE half dressed while he's canvassing for the jazz vampire and he just skives off like that? while looking for a potential killer? that doesn't seem like him he's not that irresponsible. that smells like conspiracy and glamour and i don't trust herrrrrrr

like, peter was already horny wanting to motorboat mama thames (lol don't think i didn't catch that pun) last book. but this book has been a whole new level of horny, and peter may be distractible but not THAT distractible surely

another side note. i love molly and nightingale's weird friendship they've developed living basically with just each other for decades.

oh jesus that's fucked up

oh the severed head is talking

oh. oh no. it got worse

peter, darling, beloved, is now REALLY the time to be talking about how hot your boss is? like i appreciate your dedication to the thirst but time and place, bud

oh never mind i forgive you nightingale is so fucking cool, i get it, i love him

he's so good. the most tragic backstory and perfect stiff upper lip old fashioned english gentleman on the outside, and then just below the surface he's a daredevil and a bit of a bitch and he fucking CARES just SO MUCH and have i mentioned how much the casterbrook wall HURTS ME?? this was revealed in the last book but i just remembered it and it stabbed me again

okay i'm done

i feel like peter has miscalculated making a deal with his cousin to teach her if she aces latin. that's gonna come back to bite lol hope you like teaching too smart for their own good teenagers cuz that's gonna be your life now

"but sir, what do we do if you die??!" "well, that doesn't seem like it will be my problem at that point :)" he's such a bitch sometimes and i LOVE him, mother

ohhhhh. oh no. the pale lady looked like molly and now molly is obviously not okay after she died, that resemblance wasn't just coincidence she definitely knew her 😢

and this is the first person peter has killed, no matter how accidentally. and nightingale is back in the hospital with his chest infection. wow everyone is just having a terrible time right now

okay. i realize that as a memory for him this probably isn't a GOOD one, it's from the war and probably much scarier and MUCH more traumatizing than he makes it sound with his dry narration of it. but god. nightingale knocked out two TANKS. by himself. with his mind. fucking sexy lol

oh damn it why can't they just let me be horny about how powerful he is instead of immediately following it with the fact that he was rear guard and making emotional that it means he was the one trusted to watch over and protect the rest of his men while they retreated as that one final shield between them and enemy fire

hhhhhhhholy shit what did simone DO to mama grant???!!!!

she just bitch slapped her!

OH MY GOD SHE TRIED TO HOMEWRECK HIS PARENTS TOO???

she's PLAUSIBLY IMMORTAL???

fuck i was right she was sketchy as hell!!

she's a fucking jazz vampire and she's been glamouring and sucking him dry! buddy, get to dr walid STAT for a brain scan and make sure she's not turning you into cauliflower!

peter don't you make excuses for her you KNOW it's possible, stop lying about your mum and trying to make her feel better you need to take her in she's a m u r d e r e r

i mean, glamour yes i realize but god, frustrating

good lad peter, i see you fighting it 💪🏾

ohhhhhhhh. oh fuck. she didn't KNOW. she didn't know she was from the 40s and killing people. oh this is bad

nightingale, attempting to show concern: "that was not the most intelligent thing you've done" xD 10/10 nailed it buddy

umm, nightingale? this may not be the black and white moral situation you think it is to go in guns blazing...

it's both funny and little sad how militant both molly and dr walid are when nightingale is injured like. i do LOVE when the person who is SUPPOSEDLY in charge gets lovingly bullied, but it hurts because that's also probably the ONLY way to make him take care of himself is if they FORCE him. and peter's not any better, he's gonna need bullying too

i do love when they team up though. molly and nightingale ganging up against peter like. nightingale gets the special treatment and a hot cocoa from molly, but peter gets the dog's leash and smug little "i'm on bedrest :)" or nightingale foisting the rest of his kidney pie on peter while molly is out of the room then grabbing his empty plate back to pretend he ate it all himself when she returns xD

the cases are interesting and all, but i think it's the core characters that are really the standout of the novel and the reason i keep reading even while i'm asking myself things like, but WHY is she killing via vagina dentata instead of literally any other assassination method? i think it's also why simone stood out so much. she HAD no background that we were told (until now) aside from being sexy. which of course i now know was intentional

"this is your brain, which is not only clean and unsullied by thought..." i love dr walid. it probably says something about me that my favorite characters all have to be at least a little bit of a bitch

oh no i'm having feeeeeelings about both nightingale and peter trying to keep the other out of the vampire raid to shield them from the emotional effects of it, just from opposite ends. nightingale doesn't want peter to have the pain of ANOTHER death on his hands, this one purposeful as opposed to the accidental death of the pale lady, so he's trying to just cut him out of it. and then peter ALSO doesn't want NIGHTINGALE to have the weight of more deaths on his soul and wants to protect him from what he sees as the unfortunate necessity of having to off someone who isn't intentionally hurting someone but still may be too dangerous to live. nightingale trying to save peter from his bleeding heart and peter saving nightingale from his practicality overriding his morality 😭 i just love when characters try to take care of each other in mirrored ways

uh...uh oh peter...no i don't think those are the police OR nightingale's paratrooper buddies

okay the audiobook is fucking excellent though, his infomercial voice while extolling the virtues of doc martins is KILLING me

oh this posh wanker. "oh what is feeding on people but another form of exploitation, and we all know there's nothing wrong with exploiting workers, equality is morally bankrupt anyway" god i hate you already you're insufferable

like of COURSE a dining club oxford nose wipe would think that way. he thinks he's sooooo slick and original with his chimeras they're such exciting new COL crimes but it all just boils down the the exact same rich white bullshit mentality

he would hate it if he realized how dull and banal his villainy is once you strip back the shock value of the trappings. just another entitled prick who views people as things, fuck this dude

i'd be tempted to say the faceless man's signare smelling like pork was a dig at david cameron and piggate if i didn't know it was written a few years too early for that lol

peter: oh no nightingale is going to give me SUCH a bollocking nightingale, obviously so relieved he's alive: very much does NOT give him a bollocking and instead tells him how impressive it is that he didn't just immediately die against the faceless man

"for a terrifying moment i thought he was going to huge me, but fortunately we both remembered we were english just in time. still, it was a close call" 🤣🤣🤣

oh ouch peter. just use all his dead friends against him. effective but also, low blow

god he wants so badly for peter to be right, too, that they and HE doesn't have to kill anyone anymore, that how that it's not Just Him ALl Alone they might have the support structure for other options. oh no i want this to work so badly so that hope is validated, but i just know something is gonna go wrong

welp

i didn't like her but i didn't want her fuckin DEAD you know?

and now the ones left standing have to deal with the trauma and the fallout

oh lesley :( they're both trying so hard to be normal about it and they're such good friends 🥺

LESLEY DO MAGIC?

LESLEY JOIN TEAM FOLLY???!!

also don't think you've been sneaky there and that i haven't noticed SOME sort of thematic symmetry of lesley struggling with having lost her face involuntarily from magic, and the faceless man having voluntarily masked himself. involuntary vs voluntary loss of identity. i'm sure there will be more parallels in the next book but like. i see you. i see you setting up face themes with these two

hopefully with lesley regaining her face somehow and thus reclaiming identity while the faceless man is unmasked thus losing the identity he built for himself and revealing the true one he hid. maybe hopefully? i want good things for lesley and bad things for the faceless one.

[ickbite]

NEVER MET

2. She looks just like you!

Last. Masterlist. Next.

"mommy, i—i wanted to watch Hee but my tablet wo—won't work," Y/Ns five year old sobbed, her lip was pouted tapping her small, chubby fingers against the device.

Y/N and her daughter, jaeden, stood in the kitchen of their apartment that the mother had bought in Seoul. Y/N worked as a cafe waitress which didn't pay enough for an actual house but paid enough for just their small apartment, it was just the two of them though so it's not like it mattered.

"jae, baby, your tablet is just dead, if you put it on the charger, you can watch Hee in an hour, alright?" Y/N squatted down to her daughters level, grabbing the tablet and putting it on the nearest charger.

Who the fuck was Hee? Y/N had no clue what the kids watched these days, she was raised off of "the better shows;" invader zim, powerpuff girls, teen titans, etc. she was never too big on kids, even though she managed to take care of her own child for five years, and she did a pretty good job at it (if she says so herself).

"okay, uncle Soobin is coming over, okay? He'll be watching you while i'm at work," Y/N informed her daughter who wasn't paying attention, Jae was just mumbling nonsense while aggressively picking up a red marker and pressing it on the paper.

"i literally can't believe you're actually here,” Sunghoon sighed as he watched his three friends enter the cafe.

“You wanted us to, I have the evidence,” Heeseung shrugged.

“You have to sing, sir,” Kahei mumbled to the boy she was training, her and Y/N were taking turns teaching him the ways of the cafe.

“Yeah, Hee, sing,” Jake laughed, putting his hand up to his mouth to conceal his laugh.

Heeseung got out his camera, turning it on quickly and turning it towards the boy.

Sunghoon sighed, “welcome to Cafe Melody, how many?” He said with a smile (obviously forced).

“For three please,” Jay laughed out, the boys couldn’t get over how weird Sunghoon looked.

“Right this way,” Kahei stood up from her seat, walking the boys to a booth.

“Welcome to Cafe Melody, may I take your order?” Y/N had a smile on her face as she opened her notepad, taking the pen that was set behind her ear into her hand.

“Can I get the melodycakes?” Jay pointed to a picture of the red-colored pancakes that was on the menu.

“Got it, and y….. Heeseung?” Y/N lifted an eyebrow.

"you know her?" Jay whispered.

"she's an ex from high school."

"so how have you been doing since

we broke up? any good things?"

"actually, i've become a streamer—"

"streaming for all those years finally

paid off, huh?" Y/Ns smile visibly lit up,

even though she didn't like the man anymore, she was glad he achieved his dream.

"how've you been holding up?"

"i'm good, i live in an apartment nearby,

i have a daughter, this job pays well,

there's not much to tell about me, i'm

still the same soana as i was five years

ago."

Y/M knew she would regret telling her own childs father that she had a daughter but Jaeden was Y/N's greatest creation, of course she wanted to brag.

"you have a daughter?"

Y/N nodded, pulling out her

phone to show the two her lockscreen,

which was a picture of jae from her

fifth birthday. Y/N turned around to where she heard footsteps and saw Sunghoon sitting people at a table, “I have to go anyways, I’ll be back with your food.”’

Jake and Jay were flabbergasted, their mouths were parted as they waved Y/N make her leave.

"she looks exactly like you..." Jake whispered.

Watch was true, Jaeden looked almost identical to Heeseung.

"don't be stupid, Jake, obviously she doesn’t."

"did you ever have sex with the waitress?" Jay asked. true, the question that was meant to be a joke, but what took the two by surprise is when he refused to answer.

"WOAH, HEE—"

"shut up!"

"achoo!"

"are you okay, bunny?" Vivi asked, the girl who had just come back to the hostess booth.

"that's odd i hardly ever sneeze," Y/N mumbled, sniffling a few times before

walking to the designated group to

pass them their coffee.

"maybe someone's talking about you."

"don't be weird!"

———————

@isyluvr @rizz00 @deobitifull @jakesimsimcard

[rallamajoop]

What changes would you make if you were in charge of remaking Resident Evil 6?

Ha, trick question! You're not getting me with that one. I wouldn't remake RE6, it's the only good solution.

Seriously, as much as I did enjoy so much of the absurd nonsense that is RE6, you can't make something so-bad-it's-good deliberately, nor should you try. A complete list of everything from RE6 I'd want to preserve in some hypothetical remake basically goes 1. Jake, 2. uhhhhh, maybe that bit where Piers grows a MONSTER ARM that shoots lightning? (But does that mean we'd have to keep the rest of the Chris/Piers campaign to get there? Ugh, no. Not worth it.) I liked Jake's dynamic with Sherry, but Sherry herself could use a major rewrite. I mean, she has almost-wolverine-level healing powers, and the game still thinks she needs to be tackled out of danger every 10 minutes. Aaaaand I'm already running out of stuff I'd genuinely want to keep.

RE6 is the kind of fractal disaster that could be broken down into a near-infinite number of smaller disasters, representing almost every major creative decision that went into it. Making it a co-op game was a mistake, giving the player 4 different campaigns was a mistake, the big-bads are laughable, the mooks are forgettable, the story leaves far too much hanging and unresolved. It's overlong and tediously repetitive, forcing you to fight the same bosses over and over, and then again as a different character ‒ and that's without even touching on all the weird bugs and jank. The campaign throws you from major outbreak location to major outbreak location, over and over, like a scenario that once supported all of RE2 and 3 is no longer interesting enough to hold anyone's attention. Chris' entire campaign is one long military-shooter-handjob that doesn't matter. Leon and Helena's has far more redeeming features, but I wouldn't really miss it. And Ada's campaign, while critical to the plot, is just the absolute worst way to get all that plot-critical info across to the player.

You could maybe salvage something worth remaking by coming up with some real villains and extending Jake and Sherry's campaign into the whole story, with Chris and Leon (and partners?) mostly appearing as NPCs, ala RE8. But how you'd make Jake and Sherry work without co-op I don't know, and can't be bothered trying to figure out.

How do you remake RE6 successfully? You start by deciding what kind of bloody game you're trying to make, and committing to that. Is it supposed to be horror? A military shooter? Action co-op? Is what you're trying to make even really Resident Evil at all? Or are you actually aiming for some sort of weirdly compelling, frequently ugly, campy, janky, utter mess of an experience? Well, good news if so on that last point: you don't have to remake it, it's all that already.

For the record, a complete list of everything I'd want to save from RE5 goes, 1. Sheva, 2. That bit where Chris punches a boulder. But hell, maybe you could salvage something decent by promoting Sheva to the main character, now trying to save her own country from these fucking foreigners who've introduced bioweapons into her homeland, with Chris reduced to an NPC who's too focused on trying to rescue Jill to do much else but get in Sheva's way (until towards the very end where they finally manage to team up to save the day). But that's all about as likely as Capcom actually producing a good version of RE6.