#but yeah this thing is just me trying to experiment with perspective and stuff

[eats-the-stars]

I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I’m CatboyBiologist.

Formerly a femboy, now a trans woman just starting HRT, and a PhD student in molecular biology. I started using this online persona as a fun, shitposty way to explore gender a few years ago. I post selfies (generally sfw, but somewhat sexy, so minors and ppl who don’t like that have been warned), rambles about science, tutorials and advice from the stuff I’ve learned by being a femboy in the past, nature pictures, stuff about the ocean, my adorable grumpy little tortoise, and unsolicited opinions on random nerdy topics. Any pronouns are fine. I don’t plan to socially transition for a while, and still present as a man most of the time, so I’m used to whatever you wanna use for me (for now, I’ll update this if that changes). Please send me pictures of your pets or other cute animals in your life!

As a scientist, I’m also documenting my transition! This google sheet will be updated at least monthly. I also have additional metrics I’m keeping to myself, and pictures that go with this, but I’m not sharing them publicly yet. Keep in mind that this is just one person’s experience with HRT, and may not represent universal trends!

Adding a little something here, bc I think it was an interesting bit a writing: if you want to see me respond to a transphobe about what "biologically female" means, here's a thing I wrote about it. CW for transphobia and discussion, obviously.

Also, if any of my measurements look weird, its entirely possible I fucked up. Let me know if anything looks off!

Here’s some of my favorite pre-HRT pictures:

If you want to see more of my pre-HRT selfies, browse the “femboy” tag on my blog!

And as of this writing, I’m only 2 days after the start of HRT, so here’s a picture with my tortoise that’s technically post-HRT (but with 0 time for actual changes):

If you want to see my future post-HRT selfies, browse the “trans selfie” tag on my blog!

Also here's another really cute picture and fanart of my tortoise by @whalesharkcat:

I have affectionately given my tortoise the title of The Grumpus.

I also wrote a couple of tutorials and general vibes about being a femboy before I started HRT:

Sometimes I make shitposts of myself, I don’t take myself too seriously:

This includes the way I came out on tumblr:

And here’s an overly serious, long ramble about trans thoughts and things that I wrote shortly afterwards:

Later addition: Someone asked how I take selfies, so I wrote a quick and dirty guide with some tips on how I do so in response to their ask:

Oh yeah and apparently I was a 196 microcelebrity? I never to thought I was popular enough for that but apparently some people do 🤷‍♀️. So uh, hi 196 tags, I'm abusing you for my pinned post LOL

As for terminology, I personally do think of myself as a “man who is becoming a woman” as opposed to having always been a woman. If that doesn’t resonate with your experience, I totally get that! But that’s why I freely call pre-HRT me a femboy, while still calling post-HRT me a trans woman. I’m also keeping the blog name as CatboyBiologist for the forseeable future, because at this point, Catboy just seems like a gender neutral term to me.

I’m also trying to put together a script for a podcast regarding how studying biology influenced my perspective on sex and gender- lmk if there’s any interest in that! It’s probably gonna be way too long and indulgent but oh well.

So uh. Yeah. I don’t end these types of things well. Byeeeeee

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

Gonna be honest, if you told me you didn’t have any experience in filmmaking, I wouldn’t believe you. The detailed descriptions you’ve given are just consumable- (coming from someone who’s majoring in filmmaking)

I have this really interesting thing where basically I can see exactly how something would look from a cinematic perspective? Like whenever I come up with something I get a really vivid mental image of how it’s going to look. Like with genloss stuff I’ve had to send literal paragraphs describing like 30 second teasers simply because I can just like see every detail inside of them. I love and hate my brain for this because when things don’t line up I am very much like “could it be a bit more like this” and as someone who feels bad asking people to change things it’s certainly a struggle LMAO. But yeah basically I can think up shots and dialogue and plots of entire movies if given enough prompts. (They most likely aren’t good a lot of the time and I struggle a LOT trying to get the vision across lmao but when I can it’s cool stuff) Like today I was listening to “welcome to the jungle” and all I was doing was like thinking of how I would introduce a character and how to film it and which sound cues would I use to switch the camera and all that it’s a fun time in my brain.

[walkawaytall]

I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

[burningablaze]

Todoroki x Reader - More To This Than Meets The Eye

A/N: Trust me, I was not proud of myself that it took me that long just to finish a fic. I guess I needed time for myself and there was so much going on that I barely thought about writing again. I didn’t mean to stop writing for so long but that doesn’t mean my love for writing stopped. Anyways enough of my rambling, I hope you enjoy this one and this was requested by an anonymous

Summary: Todoroki catches you reading a fic about him and wanted to find out what it was about. You didn’t expect him to react the way he did

Words: 1,212

Ler: Todoroki

Lee: Reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat alone in the living room as you sought to continue to read where you left off. You looked behind your shoulders and looked around in every direction to see if someone was heading in your way as you were protective of what you were reading on your phone.

After a few moments of reading silently, you couldn’t help but to feel giddy, squirming in your seat and giggling all the way through. What you didn’t notice was someone was right behind all along.

“This is… interesting to say the least.”

“AAH!”

You jumped in your seat and looked behind you with your hand over your chest.

“Todoroki?! Dude, you gotta stop doing that.”

Todoroki gave you an apologetic smile and took a step back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, his voice calm and composed. “I just couldn’t help but notice your reaction to what you were reading.”

You groaned and blushed. “Please don’t tell me you read all of that.”

“I think it was halfway through. This is what you like to read? Tickling? Me tickling the other person specifically?”

“Wait, Todoroki! It’s not like that! I-I-I…”

Todoroki’s expression softened as he listened to your stammering explanation. His professional tone of voice remained steady as he responded, “I understand. Sometimes people have different interests, and it’s important not to judge them for it.”

Todoroki walked over from behind and sat down on the cushions in front of you, accepting to hear what you have to say.

You couldn’t help but feel relieved by his understanding demeanor. Todoroki’s ability to remain calm in unexpected situations was one of the many reasons you admired him. It was clear that he valued open-mindedness and acceptance, which made you feel more at ease.

“I apologize if I invaded your privacy,” Todoroki continued, his voice carrying a hint of concern. “It was not my intention. But, if you’re comfortable, I would like to hear your perspective on why you enjoy reading such stories. Perhaps it’s something I can learn from.”

You couldn’t help but blush and try to find the right words. “Todoroki, we have been friends for a very long time and I know you finding out about this for the first time can be… weird,” you said hesitantly.

“I don’t think it’s weird. I just want to understand the concept of this. I’m not very familiar with the tickling thing.” Todoroki replied, his tone curious and sincere.

You sighed. “I like to read this sort of stuff because it’s an escape from reality and it makes me feel better in a way even though I may be touch starved.”

Todoroki looked at you intently, his expression softening with empathy. “I see. So, these stories provide you some comfort and a sense of connection?” he asked, trying to grasp the significance it held for you.

Nodding, you continued, “Yes, exactly. It’s a way for me to experience the feeling of closeness and affection that I might not have in my everyday life. It’s purely fictional, but it helps me feel less alone.”

“And what about me being involved in the stories? Is it something that you would want me to do?” he asked.

You started to get flustered. “Well, it’s more like… imagining what it’ll be like if you were.”

“Oh, I see. May I see what you were reading then?” Todoroki asked. You blinked but gave your phone to him. “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

You watched Todoroki scrolling on your phone and you were starting to get nervous. You wouldn’t know how he would feel about this. As you were lost in your thoughts, you felt a squeeze on your sides.

“Hehehehey! T-Todorokihihihi!” “Whoever wrote this about me did not capture my personality at all.” Todoroki said as kept tickling you while reading with a blank stare.

You covered your face to hide from the embarrassment and how much your face was blushing. You couldn’t help but kept giggling hysterically.

“What does ‘digging his fingers into your sides’ mean? Is it something like this?” he asked as he did exactly that, digging his fingers in your sides.

Caught off guard by his sudden movement, you let out a surprised squeak and toppled backward onto the couch. The laughter bubbled out of you even more, intensifying into a full-blown fit of hilarious laughter. “Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Nohohohohohoho!”

Todoroki’s friendly tone and playful demeanor continued as he watched you dissolve into laughter. His eyes softened with amusement as he realized how much joy he was bringing you. “I guess this ‘digging his fingers into your sides’ thing is quite effective,” he remarked, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You’re so mehehehehean!”

Todoroki couldn't chuckle at your adorable laughter. He found it endearing how easily you were able to let loose and have a good time. As he watched you struggle to catch your breath between giggles, he couldn't help but feel a warm sense of contentment.

“If I was really mean then maybe this next paragraph will say otherwise,” Todoroki cleared his throat before reading as he kept tickling your side. “Your laughter turned into delightful squeals as you squirmed and tried to block his tickles. But deep down, it was clear that you were enjoying every moment, secretly begging for more.”

As the tickling continued, Todoroki leaned in closer, his voice softer now. “You know, it's moments like these that make me realize how lucky I am to have you in my life. Your laughter brightens up my day, and I can’t help but feel a warm sense of contentment whenever I see you like this.”

You arched your back as you screamed with laughter. It felt overwhelming from him reading the actions to you. It felt like a nightmare and you lost count of how many flips your stomach did.

“Shut up! Shuhuhuhut up! Ahahahahahahahahahaha nohohohohoho plehehehase!”

He suddenly attacked your belly with both hands after he tossed your phone to the side. “Now, I think I remember something in the fic going “Todoroki thought Y/N was so cute, seeing them fall apart as a blushing giggling mess. Especially when their belly is so so ticklish.” Is it getting to you?” he asked with a sly smile.

“Yes, yes! Please stohohohohop!” you grabbed both his wrists and tried to pry them off with your might. Todoroki chuckled. “I guess I’ve tortured you long enough.” he finally let up and moved to the other side of the couch.

You took that moment to catch your breath. “Damn, Todoroki, you were kinda ruthless.”

Todoroki chuckled again. “Did I at least get everything right as what the fic said?”

You blushed slightly. “You kinda did,” you said nervously. Todoroki smiled. “I’m glad,”

“So, what did you think about all that?” you asked. “Well, again it was interesting to experience something like that, especially from a fic about me.”

You rubbed the back of your neck. “Y-Yeah,” “But,” Todoroki continued. “I did have fun, watching you giggle and like that,”

“Todoroki!” you whined and threw a pillow at him. He laughed. “But I am serious, if you want to do that more often or just hangout in general, I would be willing to do so.” he smiled.

“Me too, Todoroki.”

[astro-enthusiast]

disclaimer for interpreting placements 🍊

I’ve been making astrology observations on blogs for a while and it still amazes me when myself or another astrology lover makes an observation on a placement and people jump to say “tHaT’s NoT tRuE!” 🥴. Babe…it is well known in astrology that nothing and I repeat NOTHING will apply to every single placement. You’re not the exception or a unicorn. That’s life. That’s astrology. You have to take into account personal life experience, degrees, aspects, house placements- all that stuff. So no, just because you’re an Aquarius moon doesn’t mean your parents or even your mother abandoned you emotionally. Can that manifest? Hell yeah! But it’s not a prerequisite for being an Aquarius moon.

As a Capricorn moon, I see people talking out of their asses about us ALL the time! Proclaiming stuff that has never been true a day in my Capricorn moon life. You know how I deal? I SCROLL. I scroll past anything that I KNOW can’t be talking about me. Even if they mention a placement I have, I know it’s not true. The problem is when you attach your EGO to astrology and you feel the need to defend every thing that you perceive is coming against you. Babe, no one has a personal vendetta toward you. They’re simply projecting their own experiences. The end. If it doesn’t apply, mind your business and keep it to pushing. It amazes me this still needs to be said but alas…

And this is not coming from a “holier than thou” perspective. I’m saying this cause I used to do the EXACT SAME THING! I would get so offended simply scrolling and seeing a post that mentioned something “bad” about a placement I have. That will do nothing but ruin your astro experience and exhaust you. Plus, you don’t always have to be right or try to prove someone wrong! That alone is not worth your energy. In an attempt to salvage your own unique experience, you can’t take everything you hear or read to heart.

Something can not be true for YOU, and still be true for ANOTHER person! Crazy concept right? Please, if you want to truly enjoy astrology and learn something new, you have to remove your ego. 🧡

Lovingly,

astro enthusiast. 🦁

[nabulsi]

what are some misconceptions and/or myths about hamas stuff that people can be aware about? I'm gonna be honest I don't know alot about hamas related stuff and I hear some people on the internet say that they are a horrible terrorist organization that did horrible stuff and then there are some that say that they aren't a terrorist organization and then some say that they are antisemitic because of their old charter and some say they arent because of the 2017 charter, it kinda feels conflicting.

Hello! I am sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days and I've debated how exactly I wanted to answer it because I can admit that I'm not the most knowledgeable about the topic.

I can see that you've already read conflicting accounts about Hamas from others and many different perspectives. All I can do is give you my own perspective, as nuanced as I can. Though, I am speaking as a Palestinian and what the truth is to me, with my experience.

But also, I don't want to do your thinking for you. Please consider my flawed and biased answers and do some research on this yourself.

Are they a terrorist organization?

This depends on who's defining it as a terrorist organization. Hamas is, according to western entities such as the US and the UN, a terrorist organization. It has been recognized as such. However it is also important to keep in mind, who is defining it as a terrorist organization and why they are defining it as such. Remember that the west is comprised of many current and former colonial entities which have an allyship with the current colonial entity of Israel. And, in threatening Israel, Hamas has made itself an enemy of the West. From the Palestinian perspective, Hamas is the government of Gaza. They, and other armed resistance groups operating in the area, are Gazans' first line of defense against Israeli aggression and oppression. Individual Palestinians may have varied opinions on Hamas, what they stand for, and their methods. Of course they are not universally liked--just as a citizen of any other entity may oppose their government. Against Israeli oppression, Palestinians stand together, however. And in my perspective, they are not a terrorist group.

2. Did they do horrible stuff?

That's vague, so I'll try to make it less vague so I can give you some form of answer. There are a few things people have accused Hamas of. Some of the more horrific things have not been verified or confirmed. And some have been retracted and not confirmed. (source / source / source) The big one, though, is did they really kill over 1000 Israelis and take hundreds of hostages? Yeah. Probably. Though Israel has been trying to quash an interview with rescued hostage, Yasmin Porat, who claimed that it is quite possible IDF killed many of the Israeli citizens as they shot indiscriminately at hostages and Hamas alike. And many of the deaths were IDF who are, quite frankly, valid targets. Not to mention, many former hostages have been reporting humane treatment by Hamas. (source / source / source) That's not to say that Hamas does not have blood on their hands. Hamas did at one point, to great condemnation from the Palestinian community, claim they would start executing hostages. To my knowledge, though, they never followed through.

3. Are Hamas antisemitic?

This is like a few questions baked into one. Was the attack on October 7th antisemitic in nature? Definitely not. That was a coordinated and organized operation with the express purpose of striking a blow to Israel as an occupying force and furthering the Palestinian liberation efforts. Hamas did not go in there with the aim of killing Jews. (And remember that the occupiers of Palestinian land ARE Jewish, so it's not like they had non-Jewish targets here.) Is Hamas as an organization antisemitic? Also no. Hamas's old charter was antisemitic. It did not make a distinction between Jewish people and Zionists. The new charter has been rewritten to make that distinction really clearly. I don't see a reason not to believe they are operating under different principles from before, as they are already considered a terror group, not like they're trying to change to "appeal to western sensibilities" If you don't want to take them at their word that's your call. Are the members of Hamas antisemitic? Allah only knows what's in their hearts. But I will answer: No more than anyone else on this Earth. Antisemitism is unfortunately a global issue and exists in every community. Hamas are not exempt from this. That doesn't excuse any antisemitism, but I do want to emphasize, that they're not like... exceptionally antisemitic. Also remember that accusations of antisemitism are constantly being weaponized against Palestinians in general, not just Hamas, so think critically when you see such accusations.

[fairuzfan]

it's quite a dishonest framing that you say hussein was "regarding you with suspicion" baselessly even though you've publicly state on your blog how you believe zionism is an "intracommunity" discussion.

they at no point even mention that they blame you for "israel's actions". they assumed you were talking about zionism because of previous pointed statements you endorsed where you say zionism should be only discussed by jews. its not imagined, you straight up said this? and you claim that hussein is antisemitic for assuming you're saying the same thing again just with more inclusive language? And it coincided a few days after me posting that tributary post about "defining yourself as zionist or antizionist"? So he assumed that it was in relation to it? sure you might not have meant it about zionism this time, but with previous statements you've made/endorsed you don't exactly have the right to act like you have no idea why they would assume that and misconstrue this as an antisemitic attack where he's conflating zionism with judiasm when you literally agree that zionism should only be discussed by jews, which means you yourself are conflating zionism and judiasm.

but ok, i guess, they were just taking your words out of context because they're "antisemitic". I even saw this ask last month and assumed you were talking about zionism in your recent post because of this statement you published and told him privately thats what i assumed you were talking about. Not because of you being jewish. But because i remembered this statement you agreed with because i was so offended reading it. And yeah it's a really bad statement that I'll remember because of how antipalestinian it is so sorry I don't think you get to claim the moral highground???? You didn't exactly disagree with any part of this person's statements?????

And like I would have left this alone but hussein often gets called antisemitic by people you associate with and reblog from, and it really shows how little compassion you all have for Palestinians (which btw as I say over and over, we have a right to point out harmful rhetoric that impacts us) who have a "knee-jerk reaction" to these things when we quite literally see our communities call for the deaths of our friends and family by starvarion and bombing in the name of zionism and when we call it out irl we get called antisemitic. You could have like sent an ask or publicly clarified your intentions but you just jumped straight to calling him antisemitic. Which the onus of responsibility is on YOU because of your previous statements. Why would we assume you mean something different based on past experiences???

Rhetoric like "zionism is an intracommunity issue" is stuff that has literally led to death of our loved ones so of course we have "kneejerk reactions" when there is literal proof of you saying these things before. We are not doing this because you're Jewish, we are doing this because we see and experience first hand this rhetoric and youre perpetuating it blatantly and you have people who follow you who look to you for perspective on "israel/palestine". It's so disingenuous to claim he's an antisemite when he's literally finding common talking points zionists perpetuate against us and call it out. And saying "I don't support the likud government or Westbank settlers" means nothing to us because our families were expelled from palestine before likud and settlers happened. Trying to separate modern day zionism from its colonial roots from the 1800s is at its core anti-palestinian, no matter what other conversations you want to have.

Again like the only reason this matters is because people follow you and look to you for perspective AND you reblog/interact with people we have pointed out as harmful. I literally would not care enough to make this post if i didnt see your posts spread enough times around here. So it's not because you're jewish and framing it like that is really dishonest when the person pointing this out was a palestinian who lost family due to zionism throughout multiple generations of their lives.

[mistercrowbar]

Heya! Firsr I wanted to say that I love your art it always makes me smile when I see it. I'm trying to learn how to draw, and eventually want to be able to draw stuff like yours. Do you have any tips/ advice on how to improve on drawing characters?

I could give the Fine Art Answer and go on about drawing from observation, from photo reference, making master studies, gestures, linear perspective, colour theory lightning composition etc etc etc but really

Let obsession grab you and ride it

I’ve known plenty of people whose art skills took off because they got into D&D and wanted to draw their OCs and they kept drawing and drawing and learning along the way. It can start as simple as, how do I draw my character making a really angry rage scream, and so you go to a mirror and make silly faces and draw from that. Then it can go to, I want to draw my OC and their party in that funny scene we RP’d at the tavern, so you start grabbing references for the interior of such a place, dabble in that perspective thing to lay out the bar, find references for the pirate NPC’s parrot, add some other elements just to frame everything nicely and bam, you’ve drawn yourself a full scene, got experience in drawing interiors, and learned some avian anatomy.

I do emphasise starting small and having fun. I illustrate full time for a living so that’s why most of what I post is silly sketches, I just wanna get the ideas out there without stressing myself. You wanna make art a habit, you want to make it something you look forward to doing, instead of getting wrapped up in thinking every new work has to be a masterpiece. Try to learn one thing at a time and add it to your repertoire instead of lumping a bunch of lessons in at once.

One thing specifically for characters, don’t jump right into making a reference. They’re likely to evolve the more you draw them as you get a better handle of what traits you want to emphasise or details that kinda get forgotten. Like, look at Aldiirn, I’ve had him for 3-4 months and he’s put on at least 30lbs lmao but also a bunch of other changes to emphasise round shapes like nose eyes hair. No one’s holding a gun to your head to keep things consistent.

So yeah! You can crunch and do the master studies and learn quickly, but if you’re just in it for you, have some fun! Draw your blorbo a million times and try branching out for one new thing here and there. If you are just starting out, it could be helpful to learn the basics of constructing a head and general body proportions. I don’t have any tutorials to recommend but I’m sure there must be something on youtube.

[lefluoritesys]

My sibling in system (disorder holder & fictive) really wants me to do this post, but they barely have any words, so here we go:

We see a lot of systems struggle with big decision-making IRL because not everybody is on board, and we realized that trying to have everybody on board is probably the worst thing we have ever tried in the history of our systemhood. And I'm saying this as the alter who also dug too deep into our trauma and almost became Elsa in the depths Ahtohallan. Moreover, we're also polyfragmented. After a long and painful time of trying to figure our decision-making as a system, we have finally come up with some tips that might be useful for some other systems:

Ask your active fronters instead of all your alters. This might work best for polyfragmented systems but still works for smaller systems, too. Yes, active fronters and frequent fronters can change after a while, but it's still better to do what's best for you all npw and what you all want now than think about the possibilities of the future that haven't happened yet. Unless they are like life and death or extremely harmful to y'all, however, it's always necessary to take precautions.

Compromise is not supposed to please everybody 100%. Compromise is supposed to find a solution that 1) You all don't hate as much, 2) Will keep you safe. As long as others agree by at least 50%, the compromise is good. If you find other options, and they please everybody more, then by all means, go for it. But as long as it's safe, and all of you agree by at least a half (or, well, 50%), then that's a good compromise. Perfect solutions don't exist. Not always, at least. At the end of the day, you will still disagree with each other on little things, even if the plan feels and/or is perfect.

Your system structure, ideology, and hierarchy really do decide how you make decisions. There is literally no perfect advice for you out there, not even this post. Some systems have a host, and everything heavily depends on their decisions and how they are affected by what's going to happen. Some systems don't have a host but have a group of people at front who are in charge. Some systems are partial DID systems, some systems are class systems. It's always going to be different. Just because some tips work for some systems doesn't mean they should absolutely work for you.

Create polls if they work for you. Polls might work. Grab a system journal and tell everyone there's an active poll and get their answers (Simply Plural provides that option).

Writing a list of wants and desires. Your alters has a dream? Have them right it down (with consent) and consider it in your next big decision. Or just a decision. Maybe your alter wants chips, and you go out the next day, so you're like, "Oh yeah, lemme buy chips on the way home for them."

Writing a list of pros and cons. Cliché, I know. And gotta admit, never tried it ourselves just yet. But if we did, we'd probably write a general list of pros and cons, then letting our trauma holders and active fronters add some stuff that they want.

Speaking of your trauma holders, listen to your goddamn trauma holders. LISTEN TO THEM. If there's one type of alters who know more about your life and potentially you more than you do, it's your trauma holders. They know what they're talking about. They are not imagining it (this was said due to personal experience and not as an attack). It was, in fact, that bad, and even if you don't believe that, believe them when they say it. If a trauma holder says to get away from somebody or someone, hear them out. Do not dismiss them but have a conversation with them and understand that their opinion on the matter is important. It really helps to put things in perspective.

If you make the decision that will not affect you long-term, hold responsibility for that decision. Hold responsibility always, obviously, but I mean alter-wise. Alert others about it, or front long enough until that decision stops affecting you. Have a safety net in the form of your alters.

Always have a safety net IRL, too. Friends, maybe immediate family if possible, lover, partner system. Know where the nearest hospitals and fire departments are, write down all the emergency numbers. We ourselves created a list on our system notion page where we have names and emergency contacts of the people who we can turn to in case of a crisis, as well as local crisis lines. We also add notes about whether or not we can bring up the system around these people. Even if it's something small, better be prepared than dead (I am well aware a lot of you want to fight me on this, but you know what I mean, no dying. /t /nm)

Will this work for every system? No. But it works for ours. /ref

-host

[wasyago]

how did u get so good at composition:3 did u like to draw background all the time or it came to be after practice how long does one piece usually take:333

hehe well, thank you first of all. second of all... um both? practice yes, no one gets it on the first time. and just. i dont know? doing it over and over again and trying new things and experimenting, seeing what works, what doesn't, where the background is needed and not.

i remember i heard a lot of artists around me saying that they didn't like or couldn't draw backgrounds, and for some reason i decided that im not gonna be like other girls and learn to do it. and i uhhh.... just started? drawing backgrounds? i was trying, and watching tutorials on youtube, and seeing how other people did it and eventually it got easier? i can say that i definitely enjoyed figuring out how to do it, struggling to get the perspective and composition right. like, it was hard but i had a lot of fun doing it, so it felt natural and just like, normal art progression? it didn't feel like i was going out of my way to draw backgrounds, i just did it when i felt like it?

at some point i joined a character ask, you know, when people ask questions and you draw the character answering. and i decided that im gonna draw a background for each answer instead of it being a character on a blank background. and doing this, like, specifically trying to draw backgrounds and tell a story with them, and doing it regularly and coherently, it helped me progress a lot. like, i started with a character sitting on a couch in a room, and then it got better and better, multiple rooms, multiple angles of the same room, different locations and images. it helped me a ton. just, figuring out when you need a background, when its rather i did something simple for one frame and focused on the other instead, where the character needs to be positioned, etc.

i can say i didn't do a lot of proper studies, and if i did maybe it would've been helpful... i only drew things that were in my head, with characters that i liked, with imaginary locations and stuff. never really drew from photos... we did go on plein-airs, or whatever they're called, when i was in art school, so drawing backgrounds from real life probably also helped a little, but i can't remember anything about it so it didn't do as much.

i looked at a lot of art from cool artists and expanded my visual library, i analyzed their art trying to figure out why i like it and how to make my art have the same kind of feeling. and i still do! sometimes something just takes over me and i scroll pinterest for 3 hours looking at pretty art and going to artists' profiles and saving art and using it as inspiration later. and it helps! a lot!

i dont know where this post is going ummm. i guess if you want to learn to draw something, just like, start. scrap it if you don't like it and try again, have fun, don't get attached. and uhh, i felt a little nostalgic so here are some of my pieces that i did throughout the years. definitely feels like i got better at it recently, but there's still a lot of room for improvement

oh and for your second question. one piece takes about ummmm... more than a thousand episodes, thats 20 minutes times 1000 devided by 60 devided by 24... we're looking at about 14+ days of non stop watching?

no but for real. i dont really keep track of time when im drawing, uhh. plus depending on the complexity... my recent jrwi drawings are sketches, so they took maybe one or two hours max. something rendered uhhh, maybe 5 hours? if i don't finish it in one day the chances of this drawing ever getting done are super low, soo yeah

[starilian2]

Hi! I read one of your astro observations posts and I saw the comment you made about being very observant of others, making it easy to read them, due to your Aquarius Stellium. I also have an Aqua Stellium and was wondering if you could provide material or a further explanation of how that works (I’ve always considered the same about myself).

🟣 Hii!!!! Nice to meet you!! Fellow aqua stellium!💕✨💜🫶🏻 You're so much welcomed here!!💕🥹

Side note:- Somethings may vary, because I'm telling these all from my perspective and my own experiences so:)

English is not my first language either.

Aquarius stelliums✨

🔵 For me, it's like, I always had different perspective about several things, whether it's religion, spirituality, My own fashion sense, or even my night time routine, or any other thing, like In every fuckin thing, I like to experiment 🥼🧪 and want to find my own way, and what works for me the best.

Because of this I've always being scolded from my parents 😂because, the failures I have to face in the whole process, but it's fun!👍🏼 We learn from our failures in the end so what matters anyways?

🔵 If I talk about my childhood, I didn't got that space, to experiment or anything, because, IMO aquas are honestly otherworldly, ummm idk how to tell you about this in words, but like they're really so "Unbiased" when they come into this world, and their early stages, similar like an alien, I feel like, they're just here to see how a human being lives, and there's no problem in it, but when all people harsh judgements hits them, and like stuff like that, that, people are so much biased and sometimes even nitpicky, they try to find "a perfect image of them" to "Fit in" I hope you understand.

🔵 It's like when someone gets a 'tag' about what they're. For eg. They have a friend and all people (including their parents) give 'tag' to their friend on first impression that they're beautiful, or intelligent or things like that.. so in early stages seeing all this "tag-giving" they try to find their tag about where they stand in others life(and by this I meant the "fit-in" thing). And ofc! For other people it's not a big deal, but for them, when they realise, that people are more then that 'tag' they find themselves that they we're just running in a race without satisfactory reward.

🔵 they really do struggle with people's judgement tho🙂

🔵 being this much saturnian, and the need for 'fit-in' made them feel lonely in a crowd, because if somehow they got a 'tag' from people, now they have to be a certain way, to express themselves, even if they're really that or not, it doesn't matter. And people like scorpios and pisces really pick up on that. Being a fixed sign, they also have a hard time, to break that 'perspective' of them in others head.

🔵 But, all these things, they realise early as well, especially if their parents we're not there, or just they got some space from the mundane life, this thought so hit them hard, about what I've tell you so far. And then, when this realisation hits, now they're really on a journey of "who they're" and are really accepting for whatever they're, and when they do all these, universe also helps them to find themselves again!

Now if you have Chiron there with different planets being aspected by this, then it can firstly indicate that, you really struggled with these all things, TBH and like traumas of feeling misunderstood, and unheard sometimes unseen, is indicated here.

🔵 this placement really reminds me of that movies where a person really don't know who they're for sometime, but when they do, it's such a massive glow up, that after then all people in the movie, actually then feel like a side characters afterwards. People often try to project them onto a lot, and because of their "unbiased" thinking, they didn't understand either what's really happening sometimes, like someone can be too self-obsessed, and they're like "aww how confident they're!" Yeah they do have confidence but they're too self obsessed.

🔵 and about being a fixed sign, they do listen to others and most of the time they're good listeners, but they always do whatever they feel is best for them, because they know what works for them and what not?! And here there experimental behaviour come up, what I've told in the starting that no matter what other's are saying they'll only do whatever they wanted to do. And that's simple.. when mature, they don't even gaf about what others have opinions about certain things, they're like you're good in your place, I'm in my, don't force me to do things in your way, and if someone gets in their way, they really can hate that person honestly!

There is more to it, but I was like this is enough for now😂

Yeah so here it is! My observations on aqua stellium!! Thanks for asking! Because this way, I really do feel heard and appreciated!! THANKS A. LOT!!💕🥹

I pour my heart out in this really😂😂

Thanks for being here!! Your efforts are truly appreciated!!💕💜🫶🏻🥹✨

[damnesdelamer]

INTRO TO LEFTIST THEORY

So I wrote a recommended reading list awhile back, but have increasingly become aware it can be daunting. As such, I wanted to present a simplified sort of guide to leftist theory. So here’s a sequence of texts to help you get to grips with it all, rather than just a mass of recommendations. So let’s get started!

The Communist Manifesto. Just read it, comrade. It’s like fifty pages long, and intentionally simplified, so as to be accessible. Start here.

What next? You wanna expand your familiarity with Marx & Engels? How about Socialism: Utopian And Scientific? Written by Engels as a truncated, simplified form of Marx’ magnum opus Capital (which you should also read, eventually, but is a bit much to start). Want more? Check out Wage Labour And Capital, another of Marx & Engels’ shorter works which is a good, simple introduction to understanding our plight in both human and economic terms. Want something similar but not limited to the perspective of just a couple (visionary) gentlemen? The Conquest Of Bread is also short-ish and an easy intro, but this time from a less orthodox angle (anarchism!?); simultaneously a plea for tenderness and a call to arms.

So now, you’re comfortable with Marx et al, but you want something a bit more pracitically engaged with revolutionary movements? Try Quotations From Chairman Mao. There’s a reason the Black Panthers prescribed members read this little red book; rather than a single long text, the short, punchy form gives a lot of good ideas to the budding revolutionary. Want something a bit more in-depth? State And Revolution is surprisingly applicable to our present predicament; this is how we agitate, educate, and organise, regardless of how we identify. Speaking of which, want something that won’t scare people with the mere mention of Lenin or Mao? Consider Reform Or Revolution? The question is rhetorical, so why not get familiar with the rhetoric.

Okay, but maybe your interest in leftism is via a specific experience of marginalisation. These old school classics are all well and good, but what about something that really speaks to you?

Are you trans, or have you got a particular interest in gender and its politics? Read Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come, which lays the groundwork, and is still pertinent today. Want something a bit more in-depth and academic? Gender Trouble: Feminism And The Subversion Of Identity can equip you to rhetorically destroy TERF nonsense like nothing else, among other things!

Right, and what about the intersections of gender and other forms of marginalisation? Feminism For The 99 may be a good starting point! Maybe something a bit more introspective, that tackles race and identity? Sister Outsider: Essays And Speeches is a digestible and inspiring collection which you can read in short bursts or all at once.

But some of this seems a bit Amero-centric, huh. If you wanna grapple with racialised imperialism more broadly, maybe delve into Discourse On Colonialism. Oh, but that seems to ignore the significance of sex and gender? Well luckily we can ask Can The Subaltern Speak? which may draw a lot of these threads together.

Yeah, but some of this postcolonial stuff seems a bit tangled up with history and international relations, so maybe a more in-depth understanding can be gleaned from Orientalism. Looking for more contemporary, less academic? Well we should all know by now Decolonization Is Not A Metaphor.

And what about the environment; isn’t capitalism largely a threat because of it’s refusal to address climate change? Yes, have a look at An Ecosocialist Manifesto.

Or do you find yourself asking Are Prisons Obsolete? Well let me tell you, you’re not alone!

The point is that this stuff is easier than you may think, and readily accessible. And yes, we’re in this together, and we’ve all got to co-educate, but it starts with you.

[catslvrr]

heaven sent — 08. the apartment

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It was raining again the next day, but there was no Danielle. You sat there, for an hour or so, hoping that she would eventually show up. You soon gave up and went back to sleep so you wouldn’t have to feel the dull ache in your heart.

It was six in the evening when you woke up again, thanks to Minji.

“Bro,” she knocked on the door. “You alive?”

“Yeah,” you answered groggily.

“I made some noodles for you.”

“I’ll be out in a sec.” You groaned as you rolled out of bed, ruffling your hair as you made your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Despite your constant bickering, you were grateful for Minji’s presence in your life. You had grown somewhat fond of her, as much as you hated to admit it, and you both found yourselves confiding in each other late at night after opening a few bottles of soju.

“You look like shit,” was what Minji said when you plopped yourself on the couch. You chose to ignore the comment, stuffing your mouth with noodles instead.

She scrolled on Twitter as you ate, glancing at you in concern every now and then.

“You good?”

You wiped your mouth with a tissue. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“How long have we been roommates, bro? You only sleep in this late when…” She trailed off.

Again, you didn’t respond, just continuing to eat.

She pressed on. “Did you fail that essay? Or did your dad call? Is it girl problems?”

Your hand holding the chopsticks twitched for half a second, but that’s all it took for her to realize.

“So it’s girl problems!” Minji threw an arm over your shoulder, to which you cringed in disgust. “Bro, talk to me. I’m practically the love expert around here.”

You peeled her arm off you. “Love expert my ass. You’ve been single your whole life.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but you quickly shut her down. “That one online situationship on Twitter doesn’t count.”

“Okay,” she huffed. “I might not have much experience, but sometimes it might help to get a different perspective.”

“Wow,” you said dryly. “You actually said something that made sense for once.”

“Enough about me. Tell me what’s troubling my favorite couple.”

Well, she’s actually not my girlfriend. She’s a messenger of God. And we kissed. But she kinda just disappeared after that.

“Um,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, trying to think of a believable lie. “I want her to move in with me, but she says she can’t leave, um, Australia.”

Nice.

“Damn,” she whistled. “So it’s serious serious. I thought it was like a petty little argument.”

You rubbed your face tiredly. “Yeah, no.”

“I get it, bro. Long distance relationships are hard. But you guys are both still young.” She slapped your back.

“She’s already made an effort to fly all the way here to spend these few weeks with you. I think you should just make the most of your time together, and consider the serious stuff when you’re both more financially stable.”

“Wow,” was all you could say. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”

Minji puffed her chest in pride. “Love expert, baby!”

You rolled your eyes, but let her advice sink in. 

When, or if, she comes back, I apologize and hope things go back to normal. Surely we can still have a fun time and ignore the tension.

“Thanks, bro,” you mumbled.

“You can thank me by making it up to her.” Minji snatched your chopsticks and proceeded to finish off your noodles, which was your form of payment for her advice.

“I don’t even know how to do that.”

She pursed her lips in thought. “What about finishing that song?”

“What song?”

“The song that you had on repeat in your sleep. I literally had to barge into your room and turn it off.”

“Oh. That song.”

She paused. “It’s been a while since I saw you making music, bro. I’m glad that you’re back.”

You managed out a small smile. “Thanks.”

“It’s just an instrumental right? Why don’t you write some lyrics and a melody for it? You’re literally Shakespeare’s daughter. Just write down cheesy shit and sweep her off her feet.”

“Sure,” you deadpanned. “Like it’s that easy.”

“Everything is easy when it comes to love,” she teased, to which you punched her arm.

“I’ve heard enough,” you said, going to your room.

You sat in your chair, uncapping a pen and twirling it as you listened to your old voice notes. Most of them were only about two to four bars long, melodies that randomly popped into your head and resonated with you enough to keep them. Once you found one you liked enough, you knew you could start.

Music composition was a repetitive process. You would play the instrumental for a few bars, freestyle a melody with random words, and keep it if worked. If it worked, you’d polish the lyrics for it, and move on to the next bar. If it didn’t, you would just click play again and try a completely different melody. If you were lucky, sometimes the melody and lyrics would come rolling off your tongue for a whole verse.

You weren’t a singer by any means, but you had created a few demos here and there. As you listened to your first draft, you sank back in your seat and frowned. It felt so empty with just your voice.

You thought about Danielle, and you thought about her stupidly singing to Frozen. You wondered how she would sound singing the song. And so, you spent the rest of the night layering the melody with harmonies with her at the forefront of your mind.

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[communistkenobi]

Hiiiiiiii Nick, so sorry if you've already answered this somewhere, but I couldn't find it. I was wondering if you have any recs for leftist literature that's somewhat digestible for people who don't usually read a lot of academic papers/journals and the like? Basically, theory for beginners, I guess. I've been wanting to start reading more theory and while everything you posted about The Authoritarian Personality was super interesting, I think that trying to read a 1000 page book right now would kill me 💀

(also definitely don't feel the need to answer, I just thought you might appreciate getting an ask that's not star wars related asjdjdjshdjdhsjdjfj)

oh god yeah do not start with authoritarian personality that thing is insane

There is a Marxism archive that has a page for beginners here (ignore the advice to read Capital. Like try if you want to but it’s not accessible at all in my experience lol, so I would not start there). That website gives you free access to a lot of theory, you can poke around there and see what you might want to read (if you scroll to the bottom of the page I linked it has a link where you can search by subject - so if you want to learn more about leftist feminism, or colonialism, or etc, you can do so). I’m not the most well read marxist unfortunately so I can’t give you detailed recommendations from the lists they give. I have read a bit of Lenin and found him to be quite funny. Also sorry this is skewing communist, I have only read a few bits of anarchist literature and wasn’t impressed with it (not a dig at anarchism in general, I just did not have a good introduction to it and because of my schooling I tend to spend most of my time with more critical/marxist lit). So don’t let that sway you, this is just my own bias and theoretical instincts.

Why Marx Was Right by Terry Eagleton (this is a book, sorry I don’t have a link) is fairly accessible, as is Capitalist Realism by Mark Fisher (this is very short, like under a hundred pages).

Also I KNOW I keep bringing this up but Discourse on Colonialism is such a fantastic essay (you can skip past the introduction in this pdf if you like and go straight to the essay). You don’t need to know all the theorists Cesaire is talking about or get all of his references. I think this is a very good introduction to colonialism as a force in the world. Cesaire is a fantastic writer, extremely witty and scathing while being incredibly insightful, truly a level of hater we should all aspire to become

There’s also the communist manifesto, which is very short and easy to read. You don’t have to pay too much attention to the historical stuff they bring up imo. This just answers the basic question of like “so what do communists believe exactly?” Even if you’re not a communist I think it’s useful to see these beliefs articulated in plain language.

If you want a book to read, there is Black Jacobins by CLR James about the Haitian Revolution (~200 pages). This is a history book written from a leftist perspective. I find reading about history very instructive because it alerts you to a lot of the problems with mass organising, all the sticky ways that class conflict manifests at all levels of society, and gives you context to a lot of leftist thought that, when detached from its historical circumstances, may seem weird or abstract.

I hope this helps!