#but yes the violence started at like 17 or so and like

[sweetest-honeybee]

Is Frank wearing a hoodie?!! How did the kid go from wearing a hoodie and snakebites to only ear piercings and a vest/bowtie daily in just a handful of years?? Going by your timeline, his violence has already started, yes?

Omg 😂 I mean he like many people wears comfy clothes do things and it just felt easy for the doodle. Butttt, the change was pretty swift! Since he was roughly 14-15 all the way up to a little before 25 when he was recruited at the station, he pretty consistently had piercings, longer hair, much less formal clothing, etc etc. I wanna say it was just inspiration from somewhere else or just discovering he liked fancy vests and ties and things that he switched over to that and kept it ever since!

[halsteadlover]

Haunted

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @lelaartt: So reader and Jay are engaged, her working as a nurse in the ICU. She gets followed by a stranger on her way home for couple of occasions (She doesn't tell anyone) as the stranger becames a main suspect in case that intelligence is dealing with. Jay completelly worried about her safety and she tells him about the stranger following her for couple of weeks.

• Warnings: stalking, cursing, blood, description of violence, brief mention of killing and rape. (Let me know if I missed something).

• Word count: 9530.

• A/N: I know this is a long ass fic and I’m so sorry please don’t come at me 😭. I’m kinda nervous because I really don’t vibe with the fic but I really hope it turned out okay. Let me know what you think and reblog, comment and like if you want. ❤️ thank you again for your support, forever grateful for it. Sending lots of love to you all xx

Your hospital shift was nothing short of exhausting.

That day there were three hospitalizations in the ICU due to a terrible accident that happened in the afternoon. Three patients, all of them brain dead. The ward was short-staffed and it was just you and another nurse, Amanda, on that shift so dealing with these three new patients, along with the other ones, was really exhausting.

After closing your locker, you removed the necklace where you hung the ring and slipped it onto the ring finger of your left hand, which you did at the end of each shift. You didn't want to risk losing it during work, you’d never forgive yourself for it so you just carried it around your neck during the shifts. You looked at it for a moment with a smile on your lips thinking back to the day Jay asked you to marry him.

You took your cell phone from the pocket of your uniform and, as you walked towards the exit, bag on your shoulders, you noticed various texts from Jay, the last one dating back to a couple of minutes prior.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:17 pm

Baby we're still dealing with a difficult case, I think I'll be late tonight. Please let me know when you get home. I love you endlessly. Be careful.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:55 pm

Baby? Are you okay?

From Fiancée 💍, 8.21 pm

Should I send a patrol to the hospital? You know I'll do it love.

You chuckled not doubting about that, you knew he would. Jay had always been very protective of you, which you wouldn't admit but loved it madly. You loved he cared about you, so much he’d leave everything and everyone to come to you if you asked him to.

From you, 8.27 pm

I'm sorry love, it's been a hard shift and I just picked up my cell phone. I'm going home now. How are you? When will you finish? You’ll come home soon, right?

You left the hospital and started walking home. It was late spring and the temperatures were finally starting to warm up a bit, allowing you to finally breathe fresh air. You really needed it after a whole day of smelling the hospital and disinfectants.

Your cell phone started ringing following a call.

“Hi baby! You really miss me that much, don’t you?” You begin, bringing your cell phone to your ear, a smile on your lips.

“I always miss you, you know that,” your fiancée answered on the other end of the phone. “Are you walking home?”.

“Yes, it's a beautiful evening and I felt like walking.”

Jay sighed. “Baby you know I don't like the idea of you walking alone in the dark, you could’ve taken a taxi or waited for me to pick you up.”

“Oh come on Jay, what’s gonna happen. I'll be home in twenty minutes,” you retorted “Where are you?”.

“I'm still in the district baby, I have to finish writing a case report and then I'm finally leaving,” you heard some noise in the background but you couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Jay continued to keep you company on the phone, refusing to leave you completely alone even though you'd insisted that he finish work so he'd get back to you soon.

You asked him about his day and he started telling you what he had done as you listened to him carefully, asking him a few questions from time to time when you didn't quite understand something. You bumped into a person and quickly mumbled an apology before walking on, quickly glancing at the man who reassured you not to worry.

“Everything okay baby?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I got distracted and bumped into a guy, no big deal. What were you saying?”.

Suddenly an unease feeling went through your body. You tried to let it go, thinking it was just a figment of your imagination.

You clasped your hand around your purse, quickly picking up your pace when you began to hear footsteps behind you.

They were so loud you seemed to hear them only a few feet away from you.

You turned around and stopped in your tracks, looking around for a few seconds before letting out a sigh of relief.

There was no one walking behind you.

Your heart was pounding and anxiety was eating up your stomach and you forgot for a moment you were on the phone with Jay.

Stay calm, you're just tired.

“Baby? You still there?” Jay's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh yeah, sorry, I couldn’t hear you anymore.” You answered. You didn't want to make him worry about your simple and stupid feeling, you knew if you told him you had the impression someone was following you he would’ve rushed to you and acted like the world was about to end.

You were sure it was just the fatigue speaking, but your senses remained alert until you got to your apartment. You took a shower while you waited for Jay to come back home, ordering food since you knew neither of you would feel like cooking.

You were about to lower the blinds in your bedroom window when, glancing outside, you noticed a figure standing on the sidewalk in front of you.

It was too dark for you to make out who it was and for a few moments you stood paralyzed, your eyes fixed on that dark figure, trying to figure out if it was just a hallucination.

The noise of the front door opening and closing made you jump in place, nearly giving you a heart attack.

You took your eyes off that figure for just a second.

Just for a moment.

And it was no longer there.

You ran your hands over your face in frustration, letting out a deep sigh at the same time before walking over to Jay, deciding you were going to ignore it and just needed a good night's sleep.

-

The following days went on quietly and the strange episode that happened a few nights before passed into oblivion. But that was before something else weird made your skin crawl.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to work babe?” Jay asked you as he planted numerous kisses on your lips, making you smile between them. It was morning and you were both in the doorway, your arms around his chest as you both struggled to pull away.

“I'm positive baby, just think about resting okay? I’ll see you tonight.”

He cupped his hands over your face, giving you one last long, sweet kiss on your lips. “I'll have dinner ready for you. You be careful. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.“

The day went on peacefully. You had to work a double shift in the hospital as the nurse on the afternoon shift was sick and had to take over her place.

You loved your job, you really did. There was nothing else you would’ve done in your life but sometimes you couldn't deny how difficult and tiring it was.

“Y/N, sweetie!” You heard the voice of your colleague, Becca, calling you from a patient’s room you'd just passed. You sighed, recognizing the tone she used when she needed something.

You took a few steps back, looking into the room and noticing Becca intent on changing the unconscious patient's dressing.

“Becca I was about to leave, why do you still want to torture me?” You whined and she rolled her eyes. “Please help me change these dressings. Pretty please, I can't wait to leave too.”

She put on the sweetest puppy face she was capable of and for the second time you sighed and rolled your eyes. You ended up disinfecting your hands, putting on a pair of gloves and helping her to change the patient’s dressings.

By the time you finished you were dead tired and couldn't wait to get back to Jay and sleep, you probably would’ve just run away if anyone else had asked you any other favor. For this reason, you practically flew out of the hospital after saying goodbye to your colleagues.

It was particularly cold that evening and you found yourself rubbing your hands on your arms in an attempt to get some warmth. Thank God you took the car that day.

You walked over to your car and grabbed the keys from your bag. Before unlocking it, you noticed an object resting on the windshield, held on it by the wiper. You furrowed your eyebrows when you realized it was a rose.

A black rose.

What the fuck?

There was no card attached to it, just the rose.

Your heartbeat began to accelerate and anxiety took over you. You tried to keep calm and not freak out since there was definitely an explanation why someone had to put a damn black rose on your car.

Maybe they were wrong, maybe it was for another person and they got mixed up with the cars.

Who the hell gives a black rose though?

Your eyes scanned the parking lot around you but you didn't notice anyone suspicious or anyone nearby watching you, before dropping the rose on the asphalt, trying not to think about it. There was definitely a mistake.

The car ride was strange.

You couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. You kept looking in the rear view mirror to notice if there were any cars following you, you were probably just getting paranoid but you couldn't keep yourself calm.

When you parked in your usual spot once you got back home, that feeling of discomfort hadn't disappeared, on the contrary, it had increased.

The streetlights hadn't been turned on yet and it was dark enough outside so distinguishing objects or people was pretty hard.

After locking the car you were about to enter the apartment building when your gaze fell on the sidewalk in front of you.

You didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore there was someone standing, exactly in front of you and, despite the darkness, you were sure they were watching you.

You couldn't figure out who that person was, only that he was a man.

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized it was the same figure you'd spotted a few days earlier from your bedroom window.

The silence was almost deafening, making everything more frightening and suggestive.

Your muscles were paralyzed as your eyes seemed to be glued to that man.

Suddenly he moved and your heart almost stopped beating.

But when you saw him go away, that was the last thing you expected.

He did nothing, just walked away.

You tried to explain what was happening in your mind. Maybe it was just a coincidence, that man was there for another reason and you had nothing to do with it.

You let out a sigh you didn't realize you were holding and quickly entered the apartment building, rushing to your home where you found Jay on the couch watching a show.

That rose left you with a feeling of anxiety that you couldn't get rid of easily, also caused by that figure you saw standing in front of you. You didn't immediately tell Jay, you didn't want to worry him since you already knew how he’d react and he’d worry to death and go crazy about it.

You just wanted to be sure that something’s happening before alarming him.

But, knowing you like the back of his hand, he immediately sensed there was something strange, that something was bothering you. You tried to convince him otherwise, that you were just awfully tired after working a double shift at the hospital.

“Baby, really, I'm fine. I'm just dead tired,” you said for the hundredth time since you'd set foot inside the house.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me. Did someone upset you? Did something happen at work?” He kept going, thumb and forefinger under your chin to keep your head up and make you look into his eyes. Your hands slid under his shirt, caressing his chest as you placed your lips on his, trying to distract him.

“No baby, nobody did anything. Seriously, nothing happened,” you muttered against his lips, “I just missed my fiancé like hell.” You bit his bottom lip and he hissed, his breathing suddenly heavy. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”.

“Fuck yeah,” Jay had said before crashing his mouth on yours and kissing your breath away. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth as his lips moved masterfully with yours. His hands went down your body and he bent slightly before reaching your thighs, pressing his fingers against your skin and urging you to jump into his arms.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck meanwhile he carried you to the bathroom, never letting go of you. As he kicked the door open, you found yourself completely lost in him, the rest of the world vanishing and all negative thoughts forgotten.

However this sensation of bliss was destined to vanish.

In the following days the feeling that was tormenting you didn’t disappear, instead it only got worse.

You started to sense someone was constantly following you and watching you, that every time you walked in the middle of the street there was someone behind you even if every time you turned around there was no one.

After finding that rose on your car, this kept happening and almost every night for two weeks a rose would appear on your windshield.

Jay knew something was wrong, you weren't acting normally anymore.

You were always jumpy, any sudden noise made you almost have a heart attack, even if you were cooking and he suddenly hugged you from behind you’d be scared to death.

Needless to say Jay asked you a million times what was going on, what was it that was bothering you so much but you didn't want to bother him. You didn't want to upset him, make him worry about some stupid feeling of yours, not when his work was already haunting him enough.

Maybe deep down you were hoping whoever was leaving you those roses would stop and eventually leave you alone.

One evening you went out with your friends, on one of your rare days off, to try to keep your mind occupied and to catch up with them since you didn't always have the opportunity because of your hectic job.

Between laughter, jokes, chatting and various cocktails, the evening went on normally and by 1:00 am each one of you went back home. You headed towards your car, parked not far from the bar where you had all met together, calm and happy for the first time in weeks.

However, this feeling of calmness faded the instant your gaze fell on a damn black rose sitting on your windshield, again.

A wave of anger took over you.

You were tired, so damn tired of this little game that whoever it was was playing against you.

Who the hell was this person? What the fuck did they want from you? Why were they targeting you?

Whoever that person was they following you, they knew what you were doing, who you were with, and it scared the shit out of you as well as infuriating you.

You tore all the petals off that rose that would haunt you forever before throwing it angrily on the asphalt and getting into the car. You started it and quickly drove away from there, intending to go home immediately.

You wanted Jay, you wanted your fiancée. You wanted to hug him, feeling safe again in his arms and forget about all that shit that was going on.

As soon as you got home, however, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay laying on the sofa, asleep. The TV was on and he had his cell phone resting on his stomach, holding it close in case you called him. A smile was born on your lips and for an instant all negative thoughts flew away as your attention focused on the sleeping figure on the couch.

You leaned towards him, leaving a sweet little kiss on his forehead, also gently stroking his hair with your left hand. He stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes at the same instant, looking around before looking at you, a sigh of relief to see you were back home safe and sound.

“I’m sorry I woke you up baby,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again “Let's go to bed so you can sleep again.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t catch and rubbed his eyes before flashing a smile that nearly made your knees buckle. He nodded and then stood up, stretching his arms before pulling you into a hug. “How are you my love? Did you have fun?”.

The memory of that rose returned to your mind but for some reason, seeing his eyes so red and tired, you decided not to worry him about it and you’d talk to him about it the following morning.

“Mmh,” you muttered nodding your head “I really had fun, we needed this girls night out even though I missed you a lot.”

He chuckled, placing his hands on your face and giving you a kiss on the lips. “I’m glad darling, you deserved it since you’re working so hard lately. And I missed you so much more,” he kissed you again “Come on, let's go to sleep now.”

But that night you couldn't sleep given the thousands of thoughts that were going through your head. You couldn't help but think who would do something like that, what the hell those roses meant. Was there anyone who had it in for you? Did you do something to someone? Maybe an angry patient?

You thought again and again about who could be doing this but none occurred to you. Jay told you about his cases so many times you knew that whoever did this was doing it to torture you, to keep you on your toes, to make you live in fear.

And the fact they were succeeding was infuriating you.

Fear turned into pure terror when, while checking your cell phone, you noticed a text from an unknown number.

So pretty. Can’t wait to meet you.

How did they get your number?

You were so immersed in your thoughts you didn't notice it was morning and that Jay had woken up in the meantime. He literally jumped out of bed when you told him the time after he asked you, realizing he was late. You had the afternoon shift so you didn't have to worry about getting ready for quite a while longer.

“Baby can I talk to you about something?” You had asked him, not being able to hold it in anymore even though you knew you picked up the worst time to do it.

How smart were you for wanting to talk to him about something so delicate as he was hurring to get dressed and going to work? Not much.

“Can you tell me about it later? I'm so sorry, but I'm super late…” he replied frantically as he ran from one part of the room to another looking for the keys. He stopped for a moment in front of you, placing his hands on your face, analyzing your features. “Is it something important though? If…”

You shook his head, placing your hands on his chest and giving him a reassuring smile even if anxiety was making you nauseous. “No, it's not urgent baby. I'll tell you tonight. Now go.”

He smiled at you and made sure to leave you a long, sweet kiss on your lips before saying goodbye and literally flying out of the front door.

It could wait, right?

You tried to keep yourself busy all morning, cleaning every corner of your apartment and keeping your mind from the negative thoughts.

You couldn't deny the slightest noise made you jump, even when you accidentally dropped something on the floor. You hated this feeling, you hated having to be afraid in your own home, you hated whoever was doing this to you, you hated them so fucking much.

You nearly jumped for joy when you realized it was time to get ready for work, the thought that for few hours you'd be safe made you especially happy to go to the hospital.

You took a shower before quickly putting on your uniform and packing your bag. You checked that everything you needed was there, house and car keys and hospital locker keys, a bottle of water, tissues, tampons, some snacks, pepper spray and a small knife. Jay had forced you to carry them around constantly, asserting you could never be too safe and he’d be comfortable with the thought you had something to protect you in case of need, and never as then as then you were grateful to him.

Once you left the apartment, you made sure you locked the door at least three times. The anxiety that had been living with you for weeks was now gripping your stomach, forcing you to constantly look around and keeping you alert to any individual passing by you.

You forcefully clutched your purse to you, walking briskly to your car and unlocking before climbing in and locking yourself inside. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were even holding as your eyes continued to scan the perimeter for any type of threat.

Did you already mention how much you hated this?

“It's okay Y/N, it's okay, just take it easy,” you whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath before putting on your seat belt and starting the car.

As you drove to the hospital you couldn't help but constantly look at the rear view mirror, almost as if you expected someone to be following you but they weren't, there was no car that you repeatedly noticed behind you.

Your cell phone started ringing and you took it from inside your bag, not taking your eyes off the road. Without even looking who it was, imagining for a moment it was Jay, you answered.

“Hello?”.

The smile on your lips instantly disappeared when instead of a voice you started to hear a heavy sigh, almost a pant.

“Hello?”.

You took the phone away from your ear and glanced at the screen, noting that it wasn't Jay, or anyone else you knew, but an unknown ID.

“Who is this?” You continued, hoping whoever it was would answer and maybe you'd recognize the voice. The person on the other end of the phone just kept sighing heavily, making your heart beat so hard you thought you were about to have a heart attack at any moment.

“What the fuck do you want from me?! Leave me alone!” You screamed, in the grip of fear, anxiety and anger that this person was forcing you to suffer. You closed the call and threw the cell phone on the passenger seat, not caring if it had bumped into something or was broken.

Your vision began to blur with tears fearing for your safety. They had your number. They knew where you lived. What kept them from taking you and killing you?

Your hands were shaking on the wheel as you parked at the hospital, palms sweaty. Your heart was still pounding and there wasn't a muscle in your body that didn't shake like your hands.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself, not wanting to cause questions from colleagues about the reason of your emotional state.

You took a few deep breaths and wiped your tears away, constantly telling yourself that everything was fine, that you'd be fine, that no one could hurt you in the hospital.

You never felt the need to have Jay with you like then. God you were stupid, so fucking stupid for not telling him about all of this before, for keeping everything inside you and hoping it’d eventually just go away, for underestimating what was happening. You were being stalked.

You texted him, telling him you'd arrived at the hospital and asking how his day was going, determined to tell him about the person who was stalking you as soon as you got off work.

You never thought you'd say it but you were never as glad you had a hard shift as you were that afternoon. Four patients arrived, one after suffering a stroke, two from a car accident and another after falling from the roof of his house.

The entire shift consisted of you and your colleagues running back and forth across the ward, treating patients, resuscitating them after one of them went into cardiac arrest twice. Your mind was focused on nothing but your patients and in treating them, everything else was left out of the hospital. You wouldn't let whoever was stalking you ruin your job, ever.

At the end of the shift there was no need to say you were dead tired and couldn't wait to go to sleep and although it was only 8:00 pm, the lack of sleep of the night before starting to take a toll on you.

As you placed your stethoscope in the locker and grabbed your bag, you removed your engagement ring from the chain around your neck and putted it on your finger. Your cell phone rang following a text notification and your heart skipped a beat for an instant.

The anxiety, which you managed to not to think about during the afternoon, returned stronger than ever to grip your stomach and for a moment you considered to throw the phone away.

But you thought it’d Jay and when you realized that it was indeed him, you breathed a sigh of relief. He said he'd be late that night because of a particularly difficult case and to let him know when you'd be done and went back home.

You tried to hide your sorrow, not wanting to be alone, especially in that situation.

You quickly typed a text back, asking him what he’d like for dinner, and put your cell phone in your bag. You said goodbye to your colleagues and walked towards the hospital exit.

You took a deep breath, praying to God to go home safe and sound.

Although spring had arrived it was particularly cold that evening due to the wind blowing and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket with you.

You walked, actually, almost ran to your car.

Anxiety was eating you alive and your heart was pounding, fear flowing like a river through your veins.

After taking the keys from your bag and unlocked the car, you quickly looked around, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you saw no one was around you.

But suddenly the keys fell out of your hands as a slimy hand placed over your mouth and an arm around your hips.

Your bag fell to the ground as you began to squirm in an attempt to free yourself from whoever grabbed you.

Adrenaline coursed through your veins as the fear of dying made you fight like never before.

You screamed, your throat burning, even though because of the hand your scream came out muffled.

“Stop fighting it, it had to happen sooner or later, you knew it was going to happen sweetie,” A man's voice came hoarsely to your ears and you suppressed a gag.

You managed to hit his side with your elbow, hard enough to loosen his grip on you and you tried to push him away with all the strength you had in your body.

“You fucking whore!”.

You threw yourself to get the car keys on the asphalt but the man was faster than you and grabbed your arm, pressing his fingers into your skin with such force you were sure they’d leave a mark.

A searing, stinging pain radiated up your face as his fist hit you full-on, knocking you to the ground. You put your hands forward to try to cushion the fall, but it caused you scratches and minor lacerations on both your forearms.

“We're meant to be. I know you want it. I saw it.”

You glanced at him and almost fainted when after few seconds your recognized him.

You had already met him. He was the guy you bumped into two weeks ago.

What the fuck?!

He tried to grab your wrists but before forcing you to get up, you managed to kick him in his genital area, using all the strength you had in your body. A sound of pure pain escaped his mouth and he backed away, leaning forward and gripping the sore area with his hands.

You took advantage of that moment of weakness to get off the asphalt. You weren't going to let him hurt you, not anymore.

You grabbed his black hair in two fists and you didn't care about the damage you would’ve caused him, you didn't care you were a nurse, that you were supposed to be the one to treat people and not hurt them, but you kneed him in his face and the horrible noise his bones made, suggested you most likely broke his nose.

You pushed him to the ground, ignoring the way he grunted in pain and the blood pouring profusely from his nose, kicking him in the stomach with such force that even you were stunned.

You never fought in your entire life, never kicked anyone or punched someone, you hated the idea of hurting people but at that very moment your life was on the line and you had to protect yourself.

The man was laying on the asphalt grunting and muttering some curse word and you took advantage of it. You had to run away, that was your only chance.

You quickly grabbed your car keys and purse off the ground before opening the door and getting in. You locked yourself in before you started fumbling to get the vehicle going.

Your hands were shaking and your vision was still blurry from the punch he had thrown at you.

You gave him a quick look, terrified he’d get up and kill you on the spot.

You didn't know how but you managed to start the car and without even looking back you drove away from that parking lot. You knew you couldn't drive in those conditions but you just wanted to get away from that monster.

You didn't know where to go, you didn't want to go home, the terror of being attacked there would’ve killed you so you went to the place where there was the only person you wanted to see, the only one who could make you feel better, safe.

The journey to the district was awful.

Your body was driving but it was as if you were experiencing everything from the outside, as if your soul had left your body and was looking at you from afar.

You didn't know how you managed to drive and not run over anyone or crash yourself.

Your breathing was still quickening, your chest rose and fell as if you'd run a marathon, your trembling hands struggling to hold onto the steering wheel. Your vision was blurred due to copious tears flowing from your eyes and streaming down your face, not even realizing you were crying desperately.

Your face was in pain and you were sure a huge bruise would appear on your cheek, although you didn't care, grateful you were still alive, that you managed to escape.

When you arrived at the district, you didn’t care about parking your car properly, or to take your bag or lock it after getting off. You just wanted Jay.

A smile appeared on Sergeant Platt's face the moment she saw you walking up the stairs, but when she noticed the way you were running, it immediately disappeared.

“Oh my God Y/N!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you up close. Your face was streaked with tears, an expression of pure terror and fear contouring your features, your uniform stained with dust. She ran towards you, placing her hands on your arms. “What happened to you?” She took a look at your body looking for any other injury. “Oh dear. It's okay, whatever happened you're safe here.”

You kept breathing hard and your eyes were so full of tears you could barely see her.

“Shh it's okay. Come on, let's go sit down.”

She put her arm around your shoulders as she took your hand with her free one as a sign of support. She led you into one of the break rooms, making you sit on the couch and sitting next to you.

Her hand kept squeezing yours meanwhile the other stroked your back, trying to calm you down.

“Do you want some water?” She asked and you nodded, not being able to speak at the moment. Trudy got up and ran to get a bottle of water.

She handed it to you after opening the cap and it broke her heart to see the way you were shaking. “T-thanks,” you stammered, your chest shaking with sobs. “J-Jay.”

“I'm going to call him right away, don't move from here,” she said, seeing the way you needed him. She got up and ran upstairs, where Intelligence was still busy working on the case.

Everyone turned to the sergeant, who was at the top of the stairs with an expression that did not bode well. “Trudy, did something happen?” Voight asked as soon as he saw her but her gaze fell on Jay, who was standing by the whiteboard, arms folded across his chest.

“Jay… It's Y/N…” She spoke, saying nothing else. “She's downstairs now…”

Jay's eyes widened at the sergeant's words, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of worry and fear. He knew something was up, by the way Platt looked at him and a wave of anxiety hit him, his mind now focused only on you.

Without even letting her finish the sentence, he quickly moved away from the others, running down the stairs, almost tripping on his feet. Trudy followed him, giving no explanation to the rest of the team who just exchanged a worried look.

“Where's she?” he asked hurriedly and Trudy pointed him to the room you were in.

He burst into the room and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting on the sofa but immediately worrying when he saw the state you were in. Trudy closed the door behind him, leaving you two alone and not giving any other cops a chance to snoop.

You had your elbows resting on your knees, your hands on your face as your leg bounced up and down almost obsessively.

“Baby!”.

His voice made you snap your head to him and before you knew it, you were rushing into his arms, squeezing yours around his torso with so much force you were almost afraid he’d disappear.

Jay was surprised for a moment but immediately returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you like he never did. He had no idea what had happened, but whatever it was he knew it was serious and that was enough to make his heart race.

“I'm here baby, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head, stroking your hair. You cried in his arms, with relief because he was finally there with you.

His heart sank as he heard you cry like that, feeling helpless like never before. You kept shaking and, without even knowing anything, Jay promised himself whoever had done this to you was a dead person.

“Baby you're making me worry to death. Please talk to me,” his voice coming out desperately. You broke away from his embrace, but still remained very close to him. “Darling, look at me. What happened?”.

His hands rested on your face and inevitably on the bruised cheek. You winched in pain and this didn't escape Jay, who was on the verge of losing his mind by then. “Y/N. Look at me,” he urged and you did as he said, lifting your head and making eye contact with him.

His breath caught in his chest as his gaze fell on the clear purple bruise on your cheek.

“What the fuck? Y/N…” he stammered, an incredulous and horrified look on his face as he looked at you. He took his hand away from your wounded cheek, placing two fingers under your chin and turning your head to inspect it better. “Shit baby… What happened? Who did this to you?”.

His heart was pounding in his chest and as his eyes looked at every single inch of that bruise that lined your cheek, every single cell in his body lit up with rage. Seeing the desperation on your face, the look of pure terror with which you were looking at him, the way your eyes were so full of tears, Jay felt as if he had stabbed and someone had twisted the knife over and over again.

“I-I… H-he…” you stammered meaninglessly, sobbing between words clearly still unable to speak.

“Oh baby come here,” he hugged you again, this time even harder than he had before. “My beautiful princess. It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now do you hear me? You're safe.” He tried to comfort you “I'm here now, I'm here. You’re not alone anymore and I will never let anyone hurt you again. You’re safe with me my love.”

“I-I was…” another sob “So… S-so scared…” you cried into his shirt, wetting it with your tears.

“I know, my baby, I know,” he whispered, placing lots of little kisses on your head. “I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen, not to you. But you're safe now, I'm here with you, you’re safe with me.” He kept repeating to you.

You both sat on the couch and he continued to hug you indefinitely, holding you and cradling you in his arms until you calmed down. “Sorry,” you muttered, your voice weak as you pulled away from his embrace, gesturing at his tear-stained t-shirt.

“Don’t even say it,” he replied. He raised his hand and stroked your hair, tucking it behind your ears as you kept your gaze on your hands. He was about to continue speaking when his eyes fell on the bruises on your arm, visible outside of your uniform.

His fingers lifted the sleeve to take a better look of the bruises on your skin. He immediately understood they were finger markers, a sign that someone had violently grabbed your arm.

“Oh darling,” he whispered, shattered at the sight of those horrible marks on your beautiful skin “What have they done to you?” His fingers caressed you gently, being careful not to hurt you further.

He was furious, like he had been a few other times in his life, and he still hadn't heard the story.

“Tell me what happened, please.”

You sighed and with still trembling voice, started talking. You told him about everything, about the roses, about the feeling of being followed, about the text, about the call and about the man who attacked you, the fact you already saw him for few seconds weeks prior, how he hit you and how you defended yourself.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me about it sooner?!” Jay snapped, when you finished speaking “This was never going to happen dammit! I would’ve killed that fucking son of a bitch.”

He leapt to his feet, running his hands over his face and pacing around the room. He didn't want to pick on you, it wasn't your fault and he knew it, but he was so damn angry, so angry you had to go through this, that he wasn't there to protect you.

His eyes landed on you noticing how yours quickly filled with tears again at his words and the tone of voice he used. “No, no, no baby, don't cry,” he rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to blame you. It's not your fault, please don't cry.”

His hands rested on your knees as you looked at him with sad, broken eyes, making his heart break over and over again. “You’re right I should have told you about it…”

“No, baby, don't get this into your head okay? It's not your fault, I’m so sorry for snapping like that I’m just so fucking furious for what that piece of shit did to you. It’s his fault, he hurt you and make you go through all of this. I hate you had to go through this alone and I wasn’t there to help you,” He sighed “I knew something wasn't right, I should have…” Jay stopped his eyes suddenly widening as you looked at him confused.

“Oh my god, that's… That's what you wanted to tell me this morning, isn't it?”. You didn't answer, effectively giving him the answer he needed.

Jay scrambled to his feet again, as if he'd just been given an electric shock. “Fuck!” He tried to keep control but you jumped as he kicked a chair in anger before placing his hands on the table and bowing his head, his back towards you.

“Jay…” you mumbled, standing up and walking towards him. You placed a hand on his back even though he didn't move from that position.

“It's my fault, this…” he choked on his own words “If I had stopped and listened to you this morning… Shit… It shouldn't have happened… I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, hey, no baby,” you interrupted him “Don't be hypocritical and tell me to not blame me and then do the same.”

He turned his head to you and it broke your heart to see his eyes full of tears. “I was late Y/N… I… This happened to you because I didn't stop for five fucking minutes to listen to you!”.

“Jay, listen to me,” you spoke to him softly. You lightly pulled his arm, causing him to straighten his back. You cupped your hands over his face, stroking his cheeks. “It's that crazy bastard's fault okay? Not yours, not mine.”

“If something happened to you… God…”

“No. Let's not do this. No ifs and buts. I'm here and I'm fine, I was scared shitless, I'm still scared shitless, but I'll be fine. You’re here with me and you’re all I need baby. These are just bruises and they'll be gone in a couple days,” you croaked “You should’ve seen how he looked then.”

He sighed before letting out a chuckle though the tears, hugging you for the third time, his hand stroking your hair. “We'll get him okay? And I'll fucking make him pay for what he did to you.”

You and Jay went upstairs, not wanting to let you disappear from his sight for even a second, after reassuring Trudy and telling her what had happened. Needless to say, she threatened to kill the bastard herself if Jay didn't. The way he answered told you that there was no need and that he’d certainly sort it out.

“I'll get you some ice for the bruise,” Kim had offered. The rest of the team didn't take it quite well either and Voight promised you they’d catch the bastard who hurt you. You and Jay had been together for a long time and you were part of the group now, an attack on one of them was an attack on all of them.

“Thank you,” you thanked her with a warm smile, placing the bag of ice on your face. The cold sent a rush of shivers up your spine.

“Come on baby, let's go in the break room,” Jay had said, his hand resting on your lower back. However, your gaze fell on the white board on which various photos and sentences were hung.

At first you didn't notice, but when your eyes saw a particular photo, you did a double take, stopping in your tracks and lowering the hand that was holding the ice.

“Baby? Are you okay?” Jay immediately asked alarmed, then following the direction of your gaze. “Oh. That's the case we're investigating.”

The photo just on the blackboard wasn't clear enough, it was a frame taken from a surveillance video but you could distinguish the features of the man it portrayed.

You stopped breathing for a second and your mind retraced in those brief moments your aggression, still fresh and imprinted in your memory.

“Y/N?” Jay pressed, worried about your reaction as his hand caressed your back.

“It-it… Jay…” you breathed out “It's him…”

“What?!” Jay's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and everyone in the unit couldn't mask their surprise.

“It was him… H-he attacked me… Oh god…”

Your hands start shaking again and you thanked that Jay was there to hold you or you would’ve probably collapsed on the floor.

Your eyes moved from that frame to the other hanging photos. There were four photos depicting four different women, more or less your age and similar in appearance to yours. Alongside these were other photos portraying instead what were unmistakably the victims’ bodies.

You were in complete shock.

What were the odds that the man stalking you was the same Jay was investigating on?

“C’mon let’s go,” Jay put his arm around your shoulders, leading you to the break room and closing the door behind him.

You weren't even crying. You were just completely shocked.

“Jay… He…” you stammered as if you were having trouble coordinating your thoughts. He put both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Baby, just breathe okay? Do it with me, take a deep breath.”

You shook yourself out of his grip, now in a panic. How could you calm down?

“He was… He would’ve killed me Jay, like… Like those women… Holy shit…” you continued to babble. You couldn't believe it. You understood that bastard was to be locked up somewhere, but you never, ever imagined he was a serial killer, that he’d done that before to those poor women. What if you didn't fight? What if he managed to overpower you?

Jay closed his hands into a fist, pressing his nails into his palms in an attempt to let out even a tiny bit of the anger, rage and fear he was feeling at the moment.

He didn't even want to imagine it, the thought was enough to make him sick. He didn't want to imagine what could happen to you. He run the risk of losing you forever without even realizing it.

Jay couldn't exist in a world where you weren't there. He couldn't even pass the idea of not having you next to him, the pain from this thought alone was unbearable and it was enough to make his heart shatter to pieces. Damn it, he asked you to marry him, you were his fiancée, his soon to be wife, the future mother of his children. You had to start a family together, buy a bigger house to raise your children and you’d live and grow old together, forever.

He couldn't accept some son of a bitch threatened to take you away from him, the most beautiful person he'd ever met, the love of his life, his anchor and his salvation.

“What happened to those women?” You asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Baby…”

“No Jay, please, just… Just tell me. What happened to them?”.

Jay took a deep breath, knowing that telling you would only make you feel worse. “No, love. Listen to me now,” he walked over to you, placing a hand on your healthy cheek and stroking your skin with his thumb. “Don't torture yourself like this, it won't do you any good to know, please trust me. You were so brave and you managed to knock out that son of a bitch and now you're here with me, safe, so just think about this okay? I beg you. I don't even want to think about what happened to those poor women, I don't want to think something like that could’ve happened to you and I don't want you to think about it either.”

He was right. You didn't want to know, sometimes it was better to live in the unknown.

“I'm so proud of you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers wiped away your tears with excruciating delicacy. “I would’ve died if anything had happened to you baby, I love you so, so fucking much. I couldn't have survived without you.”

“I love you so much Jay,” you too replied in a whisper before sharing a soft, sweet kiss, your nerves starting to finally calm down. “What happens now?”.

“You’ll stay here and we’ll continue to work non-stop until we catch that bastard.”

“Are you sure I can stay here?”.

“Is this even a question?” He looked at you as if you were an alien “Yes baby, of course you can. You have stay here. I need to know you're safe or I won't be able to think of anything else and I know nothing can happen to you if you’re here. If you need anything call me and I’ll be here okay? Try to get some rest, and put ice on your cheek.”

You nodded, knowing that even you wouldn't feel safe anywhere else but there in the district.

After sitting on the small sofa in the break room you eventually fell asleep, tired and worn out from the shift, the day's events and the lack of sleep from the previous night.

Jay and the rest of the team worked nonstop to try and locate the suspect whose name was still unknown. After learning you had hit his nose and you had probably broken it, they called the hospitals in the area and within a radius of about 20km – deducing he wouldn’t be so stupid to go to the hospital where you worked – with the hope that he’d go to get treated.

This hope turned out to be a reality when Kevin was told by a hospital just outside the city that there was a patient matching the description who was still there waiting to be treated for his broken nose.

When Jay went into the break room to warn you they'd found a lead, his heart skipping a beat seeing you asleep. Your head was resting on the back of the couch, your arms folded across your abdomen as your chest slowly rose and fell.

A sad smile spread across his face as he approached you with silent steps, his chest tightening at the sight of that horrible bruise on your cheek. As his eyes roamed on your body, he then noticed some scratches on your forearms and his stomach dropped again for the thousand time that night. He’d never forgive himself for not being able to help you, for failing to realize sooner what was happening, allowing someone to hurt you, he was hating himself for not being there to protect you.

He decided not to wake you up and he leaned over you, gently stroking your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear that had fallen in front of your face. He kissed your forehead, taking an extra second to savor the moment, grateful to still being able to do it.

“I love you so much my baby,” he whispered, “Everything will be okay, I promise you.”

After telling Trudy to stay by your side and never leave you alone, he headed towards the hospital where the suspect was supposed to be, his blood boiling with anger, his hands shaking with the frenzy of being able to have that son in his hands.

The stalker, however, after seeing the cops coming, didn't hesitate for a second to run away. Jay chased after him, determined not to let him get away.

“Chicago PD! Stop now!” Jay shouted as he quickly descended the emergency stairs and followed the man, skipping a few steps at a time in an attempt to reach him first. The fact the man was injured went to his advantage as Jay took the opportunity to jump on his back, causing both of them to fall heavily to the ground.

Jay's vision immediately blurred with anger.

He punched him in the face, using all the strength he had in his body to hurt him. “Son of a bitch!” He exclaimed through clenched teeth, punching him again and again. He didn't care about anything, he didn't care about the consequences there could be. He just wanted to see him suffer, to see him writhe in pain and fear, just the way you did.

“You made a fucking mistake tonight,” Jay spat, standing up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up like a sack of potatoes before slamming him heavily against the wall. The man coughed, letting out sounds of pain even if Jay couldn't care less. “You'll wish you’d never met her when I'm done with you, you worthless piece of shit.”

He hit him in the face with another punch, not caring about the blood splattered on him after each blow.

He didn't even realize he wasn't alone anymore. Voight was there and watched the scene without batting an eyelid. He deserved it, he deserved everything Jay would do to him, not just for you but also for those poor women who weren’t lucky enough to survive. He knew there was no way to stop him, even if he wanted to, especially since you were involved.

Jay hit the man's head against the wall, then pushing him to the ground. He approached him and without any mercy and without even acknowledging the man's suffering, he kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck…” the man murmured weakly.

“Look at me you son of a bitch!” Jay cursed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt again and punching him in the face. “You thought it was fucking fun to hurt my fiancée?!”.

Another strong punch.

“Answer me!” He shouted, knowing he’d not receive a response.

Jay had completely lost control.

His mind was only picturing your wounded and tear-stained face, your terrified expression, your eyes full of tears, the bruises on your arm, on your face, the scratches, the way you hugged him so tightly because of the terror you felt, the fear you must have felt in those weeks.

“You thought you’d get away with it huh?! Making my future wife's life a fucking hell?!” He growled again, kicking this time the man’s face. “Making her scared of her own fucking shadow?!”.

Another kick in the stomach.

He was about to kill him and he didn’t give a fuck.

He bent over the man who was then barely breathing. “Did you like putting your useless dirty hands on my girl, huh?” he hissed as his foot stepped on one of the man’s hand with so much force until he heard his screams and his bones cracking.

He didn't move anymore, now unconscious and covered in his own blood.

Voight intervened at that point, not even knowing if he was alive or not. “That's okay Jay, calm down now.” He placed his hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from the unconscious man. Jay was breathing heavily, as if he had just run a marathon, his angry eyes still focused on the bastard lying on the ground.

“Now get away from here. Go out from the emergency exit and drive back to your fiancée, you were always there with her okay? I’m sure she needs you now.” Voight had ordered him but Jay didn't respond at first. “Halstead.”

At that point Jay focused his gaze on his boss and nodded feebly, casting one last glance at the stalker before walking away.

He wiped his face and hands with a handkerchief he had found in the car, trying to ignore the pain in his swelled hand, his knuckles red.

He never regretted what he did.

He had always condemned the brutal ways some cops used, like his own boss did sometimes, but in that moment he didn't stop to think about how he’d not hesitate even a second to do it again and make suffer anyone who’d hurt you.

When it came to you he’d lose his mind, his judgment clouded. You were the most important person in his life, the most precious of treasures, and he’d protect you with his own life if he could, if it meant keep you safe forever. It may have seemed an exaggeration, it may have seemed crazy, but he didn't care, God, he would’ve burn the entire city to the ground if it meant protecting you.

And as he drove to the district, eager to see you again, only one thought ran through his mind: how much he regretted not making that piece of shit suffer more.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @ixna-mikaelsxn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @upsteadlovingheart, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutlOver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @baby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @deanstead, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @wickedlovely121, @hart-kinsella, @novabckly

Click here to be added to the tag list ❤️

Main Masterlist

Jay Halstead Masterlist

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Side blog -> @halsteadloverslibrary

[mayhemories]

Neteyam x readers kids to lovers eventually, before WOTW bc I carnt handle his death

Eywa, A Sign

Ohhh it kills me, I love this boy. He died for what? Pandora Jesus better resurrects him next time, or I will have words with Mr Cameron. Not sure if I did your request justice, hope I did <3 

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: None? Just straight fluff. Reader is an orphan trope/parental death. Mentions of death. 

Words: 1.58k

Author’s Notes: Neteyam is roughly 18/19 here, Reader is 18, Lo’ak and Kiri are 17, and my girl Tuk is still the same. Set before Way of the Water. 

Please note that the reader utilises she/her pronouns. If you’d prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns in fic I’m more than happy to repost a male or gn version of the story, otherwise include any pronoun preferences in the request box!

Read below the cut

Many Na’vi died following Toruk Macto. Either due to the impact of the battlefield violence or, their wounds upon return to their clan. Your parents, two brave Omatikaya warriors, died at the hands of the Sky People during a routine raid on supply shipments. 

Jake and Neytiri were quick to take you under their care, love and protection. Practically becoming one of their own. Being a few months younger than Neteyam and a year older than the twins, Kiri and Lo’ak, you slipped right in.

Jake was never afraid to reprimand you like you were his own, either. Like the time you were twelve, Lo’ak eleven:

“Now what did I tell you two?” Jake had you and Lo’ak lined up against the wall of the clan stronghold, sprung by the Olo’eyktan from the moment you came sneaking back in after curfew. 

“Don’t be in the forest after eclipse-” You and Lo’ak mumbled under your breaths, knowing that Jake wouldn’t let up.

“Yes! That’s right, don’t be in the forest after eclipse!” he said, exasperated, holding his hands above his head, dragging them down across his face. “And where were you two knuckleheads?” His face was annoyed, though his eyes were soft. We were his kids, god forbid anything happened to us. 

“Look dad (y/n) had nothing to do with it, it was all me-” Lo’ak started, but you finished,

“Sir, Lo’ak didn’t want to go, I wanted to go.” You and Lo’ak shared a small smile, he was your brother, through and through. 

Jake shook his head, hands on hips. 

“Go, go, both of you. Wash up.” He was stern, but as you two skxawngs ran past him you saw the gentle smile lay on his lips. 

As you got older you noticed Jake becoming harder and harder on his boys. For whatever reason Lo’ak almost gave up on pleasing Jake, felt like he could never be enough for him, a spec of dust compared to Neteyam’s glittering gold. Maybe that was why, why he was so impulsive and reckless, consistently. Any attention being good attention for Lo’ak. Regardless of his intentions, you liked that about him. He encourages your sense of adventure like a brother should, was always there to catch you when you fall. Neteyam and Lo’ak were different sides of the same coin, both living to please Jake in one way or another. Jake saw himself in Lo’ak and that scared him, you knew that,

But Neteyam…shit, Neteyam. 

You always saw Neteyam differently. As kids, he felt too cool for you to be around. This developed over time as you, yourself developed. As you felt awkward and out of place in your body, tail giving away every thought and feeling, Neteyam got taller, got broader, got sweeter. As an awkward teenager, your little soft spot evolved into a full-blown crush. You kept it under wraps sure, Lo’ak teasing you here and there but he never thought anything serious of it. Shit, you tried not to think anything of it. He was the future Olo’eyktan, he was the future of the clan. 

Now, freshly eighteen you were considered a woman: A relatively fierce Ikran rider, bow made from wood of the tree to replace the Hometree that was lost to the Sky People, a hunter. You surpassed any ritual trail of clan-life easily, save for one. Save for probably the most important one. 

Finding a mate. 

So, here you were, kneeling on the beautiful deep green moss surrounding the base of the Tree of Voices. The tree was glowing purple, fading to a light pink and back again, streaks of white travelled up and down the tendril of the tree, where you’ve made the bond. The hum of the ancestors created a white noise in you mind, helping to create a true vision. Praying to Eywa always gave you a sense of calm, like all anxieties were being blown right through your body, energy settling itself back into the world. 

“My dear All-Mother Eywa, I come to you now for guidance, for advice.” You started, clamping your eyes shut to encourage any kind of vision, so that you may see into the realm beyond that of physical sight. 

Neteyam knew it was wrong, to listen to your private prayers with Eywa. But he did not make a move to leave his advantageous spot, hidden amongst trees and rocks, he could watch you freely. His whole life felt like it revolved around you, and your alluring presence, strong heart, strong mind. 

Neteyam officially became a man the year prior, it was expected of him as the future clan leader to have already chosen a woman. And, in some ways he had. It had always been you, it was always you. Neteyam loved you, and it was never as a sister as Lo’ak has. When you were children you would play family. Neteyam was the dad, you the mum, Kiri and Lo’ak the kids. Neteyam knew from a young age that he didn’t want to play family with anyone else. 

He assumed Neytiri always knew, too. She never pressured him in claiming a mate, or even talking about it. Jake, well he was less switched on when it came to Neteyam’s shy nature. He was always pestering Neteyam about it-

Jake had flown Neteyam and himself to a floating mountain so that him and his first born son could speak freely: “Look, I’m not even saying you have to mate straight away! But at least court someone Neteyam, you’re the future of this clan-” Jake started, but for the first and last time in his life, Neteyam cut his father off.

“I am waiting for (y/n)!” Neteyam yelled, holding the bridge of his nose, anticipating that Jake would come back with a raised voice as he most often did. It did not come. Instead Jake closed the distance between him and his son, wrapping his arms around his beautiful baby boy, who wasn’t a baby anymore. Neteyam loosened, wrapping his still lanky arms around his father. With his chin resting on Neteyam’s head, Jake chuckled:

“Well then, wait for her as long as you need.” 

“I love her.” Neteyam admitted quietly. 

“I know you do, kid.” 

Neteyam shook the memory from his mind, and focused back on your kneeling, praying figure in front of him. 

“My mother Eywa, what am I to do?” You felt exasperated, lost. “I… I am afraid that the one I love does not love me Eywa.” 

Neteyam’s chest tightened, although he always knew it was a possibility that you may not want him, he tried his hardest swaying anyone else’s decision in the matter. The glares he had sent to all the young na’vi during their teen years, and at your own ceremony of womanhood, Neteyam made it clear with growls and possessive hovering that he was waiting for you. Although, maybe he could’ve made it clearer to you. 

“Great Eywa please, please show me a sign that Neteyam and I will be named mates.” you whispered, scared to admit his name in the scenario, aloud. 

Neteyam felt like he could vomit. He slowly approached you, kneeling beside you, as if he were beginning to pray, himself.

You could feel his heat, his being as he sat down, you didn’t need to open your eyes to confirm. Besides that, you could feel all the blood drain from your body and rush back up to your cheeks and ears. Clearing your throat, you decided that this was a good a sign as any. 

“Neteyam” You opened your eyes, his beautiful warm honey ones already locked on your face, “how much of that did you hear?” 

Neteyam hung his head in shame, shaking some of his braids from their resting places, blood rushing to his cheeks. 

“I am so sorry, I know I shouldn’t have listened to your private words spoken with Eywa.” Neteyam spoke softly, like he always did with you. “But I could not help it, especially knowing you have not chosen a mate yet.” Neteyam spoke around a lump in his throat, “I needed to know why.” 

Your mind was rushing a million miles per minute. But fake bravado was something that Lo’ak taught you, and something you could hide behind.

“You know, you haven’t chosen anyone either. My ceremony was last week, yours was last year.” You said, catching his eye again, with a slight smile on your lips. Neteyam laughed. Shit, you loved that sound. You could die happy now, hearing his laugh. 

“I have chosen,” your stomach dropped at his words, though sensing your anxiety Neteyam wove one of his hands with yours, and pinned you to the spot with his warm eyes. “I just had to wait a year for her to choose me too.” 

And all at once it felt like Eywa had breathed life into you, and Neteyam. Like your soul was made of milk and honey and you were going to flow on forever. 

You kissed him, your hands cupped his beautiful face, his slender fingers settling on your waist, nestling between beads and cloth. 

He came out of the kiss laughing, needing air. You let out a laugh too, keeping your foreheads together. 

“I see you.” You whispered, still scared that if you speak too loud this dream will dissipate into the colours of Pandora’s jungle, floating away from you entirely. 

“I have only ever seen you,” Neteyam said, smiling. His silver freckles set alight from the glow of the Tree of Voices. 

Happiness was simple.

[star-girl69]

Love Song

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Demigod!Reader

—-

a/n: just needed to do some general hc’s to get all my thoughts in order i hope you all enjoy!!

Love song - Lana Del Rey

warnings: the formatting is weird idk why i can’t fix it but y’all will live, swearing, a little itty bitty bit of violence, every facet of clarisse finding its way here and i love them all, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

i’m sure we all agree on this

but clarisse is very protective of you

even if you’re a very capable fighter, even if you’re even better than her, clarisse is still so protective of you

i mentioned this in one of my fics (maybe so it goes…????) but like the reason behind this is the fact that clarisse is just SCARED

she is terrified of losing you bc you are the only one she feels like she can be herself with

like clarisse is insane!!!!! in a good way!!!!! but also she’s a 17 year old girl…. she wants TO BE LOVED

she tries to talk to you about how she feels about her dad and about everything else in her life, but even though she doesn’t want to be, she’s locked up like a vault

she knows her emotions are always super intense and she has big reactions

major anger issues but they’ve gotten better with age

the problem is she spent her entire life being told that she needed to calm down, that she couldn’t feel like that all the time, and she just tried to shut down

obviously that did not work

but it still makes it virtually impossible to talk about her feelings

when it comes to you tho she’s an open book

she’s a daughter of ares she’s headstrong she’s proud and her fatal flaw is PRIDE

i mentioned this before but she wants everyone to know that you’re hers and she’s yours

your relationship is partly very public

she’s not afraid to touch you or kiss you

she’s not afraid to show you off and (needs to) show everyone that yes your beautiful self belongs to HER

so naturally she gets very jealous

even when you’re like clarisse you are INSANE

there’s been a few times when you first started dating and you were still getting comfortable and weren’t that public yet so like someone would flirt with you

it went like this

boy: hey what’s up you’re kinda fine

y/n: oh! oh yeah no….. no…..

clarisse: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU—

then she started attacking him

lost dessert privileges for a month, she proudly declared that it was worth it (besides you would sneak her bites of yours like)

now that everyone knows you’re hers her jealousy is rooted a lot more in delusion and insecurity

you’ll be like in a group talking someone and she’ll pull you closer and be like “i think that guys staring at you a little too much.”

“clarisse no the fuck he’s not what”

b/c of the fact that she isn’t a son for her father she gets insanely jealous if specifically a MAN gets even an inch too close however innocently

she doesn’t want to think it but she thinks you’ll eventually realize her father is right and she’s not as useful or good bc she’s a girl

most of the time when she gets jealous bc of her insecurities she just becomes extra clingy

but also any emotion she feels she gets extra clingy to you so sometimes it’s hard to tell LMAO

she isn’t really a big hand holder but that’s only because she’s actually holding you CLOSER to her by your waist

also one more note about your relationship publically

everyone gets whiplash bc like she’s a BULLY fo everyone else and then you walk over and she’s all heart eyes

i hate everyone but you trope save me

save me i hate everyone but you trope

THIS HAPPENED IN IN A GOOD WAY

clarisse: pushes percy over

you: nuh uh clarissseeeeeeee

clarisse: omg hi beautiful gf

you: touches her shoulder, looks at her disapprovingly

clarisse: fine i’ll go, *scares percy*, bye bye beautiful ily

like she’s just being a bitch and then all of a sudden you come around and she’s like hiiiiiii babyyyyy how is my gorgeous gorgeous girl today??

so outwardly clarisse is just very proud and touchy

privately she lets herself be a little more chill

this is where she really touchy you thought before was worse nah

idk if y’all have noticed but in my fics clar’s always holding on y/n’s hips and that’s just me self projecting bc i have the most horrid hip dips but my point still stands

SHE LOVES YOUR HIPS

would totally call them “love handles” IM SORRYY

but she just likes having a place to hold where she can just like kinda actually physically grab you with her hands

like yeah she can wrap her arms around your waist but she likes to GRAB you

cuddling w her is fun bc like this girl cannot get ENOUGH of you there’s only like three ways you cuddle

you on top of her whether just like completely on top of her (one of her favs) or just with your head on her chest

this is what happens whenever you feel scared

like there was a monster attack just near the barrier and you’ve all been feeling uneasy all day

TRUST you are sleeping in her bed tonight

wraps her arms around you so tight it’s like she’s crushing you

also she’s running your back or caressing your head whichever you prefer

she keeps her spear right next to her bed and makes sure you can see it so you know however subconsciously NOTHING can hurt you bc she’s right there (nothings gonna hurt you baby vibes)

or she’s on top of you this one usually happens when she’s feeling a little extra insecure and jealous and it’s like no one can see you if she’s on top of her so then you’re hers

she isn’t the smartest one in the bunch but she has good intentions!!!!

also she lays on top of you if you get hurt

like after so it goes for example when y/n got that little cut on her hand

you’re like “clar pls you’re crushing me”

“um ok you scared the shit out of me today tho you need to LET ME do this fuck”

third option

you’re both laying on your side and facing each other legs tangled together and she’s probably whispering to you

she’s a big whisperer i feel it in my heart

like tracing her hands on your face and saying your so beautiful or telling you how you make her feel

oh lord take me now

also she loves you the way hozier loves

“someone asked me in the end i’d tell them ‘put me back in it’ // darlin’ i would do it again // if i could hold for a minute”

“when my time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth no grave could hold my body down i’d crawl back to her”

like she BREATHES for you

if she died and then you were like “i miss you” trust she would find a way to come back to life

totally daydreams about going on such a fantastical quest that the gods offer both of you immortality so you can be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

like if the world ends y’all would still be there having a little picnic date

devotion is the only word that comes close

anyways

ok nicknames she calls you:

baby, angel, gorgeous, pretty thing/girl, beautiful, lovely, dummy (lovingly)

(recently saw a few posts abt clarisse saying mama/mamas i may be swayed)

dates she takes you on:

forces you to train w her even if you don’t like it but she lets you win OBVIIIII, under the stars in the woods, take your dinners to go and sneak back to either hers or your cabin to eat together, secret makeout sessions in the bathroom her cabin your cabin anywhere she can get her hands on you

this is so random but i get horrible migraines and i am ADDICTED to these like headache relief frequency sounds on youtube i swear they work and i was like omg you can’t have electronics at chb I WOULD NOT SURVIVE

so if you are a real one like me and get horrible migraines but this goes for being sick in general she’s like a little puppy pretending to be a wolf barely holding it together

she’ll be like at the foot of your bed begging you not to go into the light while shouting at someone at the same time to refill your water

you like have a cold

she would rub your temples if you had a headache and she would literally be like a doll for you to move around like oh you wanna lay on her chest? by all means

you wanna lay upside down with your feet in her face? as long as you get better you can do whatever you want!

you don’t wanna touch her at all? that’s where she draws the line

you’ll be like “ugh i’m hot get away from me”

“okay ☹️☹️”

“why are you touching my feet with your feet”

she places you above everyone else

like yeah other people are ok…….

but you 😍😍😍😍😍😍

this is slightly cringe but she would fr burn the whole world down and not let a flame touch you

LIKE HAVE YALL SEEN THE ANONS IVE BEEN POSTING AND THE CAPTURE THE FLAG THINGS 😱😱😱😱 (y’all always check my blog im always posting the funniest shit bc i’m funny)

“you’re one opposite teams blah blah blah you get hurt clarisse drops EVERYTHING to help you even if just a paper cut” (i have no chill fic coming soon)

THEN THEN the other one that was like “ok but what if you ACTUALLY get hurt like broken leg”

clarisse just goes crazy when you’re hurt

in so it goes: “what if that cut gets infected?”

you’re her WORLD she literally can’t stand the thought or something happening to you or else she starts literally shaking in anger and sadness

but when clarisse gets hurt it’s a whole other story

LIKE FUCK YOU JUST WANNA CARE ABOUT HER AND SHES ALL LIKE “it’s chill.”

NO ITS NOT YOURE GONNA BLEED OUT 😭😭

clarisse never let’s anyone but you see her true emotions

like yeah when you’re in public and you’re being cutesy she starts smiling and everyone is SO confused

but still

she never lets anyone see her as WEAK

so she always downplays her injuries in terms of how much they hurt, but flaunts them off proudly at the same time?? yeah that makes sense

after a capture the flag game you march her to the bathroom with a first aid kit “ok baby take off your shirt”

she always makes some flirty comment like SHUSH NOT RN

then she has all these bruises and every once in a while a cut from someone’s sword

you’re like 😔😔💔

you’re the only one she will let clean her up

unless she like breaks a bone or needs stitches (which has never happened) no way in hell she’s going to the healers

if you’re a child of apollo or smth she’s like “i literally have my own person healer right here…..”

anyways i think that’s all but i will probably be updating this when i think of more stuff bc as we know i have no chill

thank you all sm for reading and reblogging and liking and commenting and sending all of your WONDERFUL asks they make me so happy i’m always giggling when i get one

anyways bye bye 😘

—

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [17] - Disagreements

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Petty fights can start out of nowhere.

Word Count: 2800

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, stabbing, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

Waking up and not finding Bucky in bed next to you wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

He always woke up before you, but this was the first time you were hearing a second, very familiar voice booming through the house and you sat up in bed, rubbing your eyes.

What on earth was your father doing in your apartment this early on in the morning?

You pushed the covers off of you and looked around the room for Alpine but she wasn’t there either. Grabbing the first thing you found -which turned out to be one of Bucky’s crisp white button up shirts- you pulled it over your tank top and shorts, then went downstairs, following the voices.

“If this has been your plan all along,” your father’s stern voice reached your ear from Bucky’s office, “I swear to God—”

“I don’t have any plans,” Bucky’s much calmer voice replied and you pulled your brows together, approaching the doorframe but still shielding yourself from their gaze. Alpine meowed when she saw you, running to you but neither of them seemed to notice it.

“No?” your father asked. “So this is not some sort of elaborate plot to take over my territory?”

“Not at all.”

“Then why was she having a briefing with Rogers?”

“Because I don’t think my wife should be kept out of the business entirely,” Bucky said as you bent down to scratch at Alpine’s head before straightening your back again. “It’s the new generation, we do things differently now.”

Your father let out a furious breath.

“Listen,” he said. “I don’t care what you do with your own business, but if you’re putting ideas into my daughter’s head—”

“Arthur, she’s smart as fuck, you do realize that?” Bucky snapped, making you smirk. “There’s no idea I can put into her head that she hasn’t thought about to begin with.”

“Not to mention,” you said and stepped into the office, making both of them turn to look at you. “She has a phone. So if you wanted to see me, you could just let me know.”

Your father gritted his teeth and stole a look at Bucky. “Give us a minute.”

If it were anyone else, you were sure they would be hurrying off to the door because you had seen your father intimidate countless men throughout your life, but Bucky didn’t seem intimidated in the slightest as he leaned back to his desk.

“This is my house,” he replied, making your father blink a couple of times.

“And I’d like a moment alone with my daughter.”

Bucky turned to look at you as if silently asking if you wanted him to leave and you shook your head, then crossed your arms.

“Anything you want to say, you can say it in front of my husband,” you told him, making Bucky grin proudly. “So?”

Your father’s glare at you was enough to make the sudden chill of nervousness shoot through you, but you didn’t let it show on your face as he shook his head.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing,” you said. “I literally woke up to you guys’ yelling to be honest—”

“Having a meeting with Rogers,” he cut you off impatiently as if he didn’t have the time for your jokes. “What is that about?”

You let a smirk pull your lips.

“Did Ian come and cry to you about it?” you asked. “Honestly.”

“He did let me know, yes,” he said. “As he was supposed to. Seeing that you weren’t planning on telling me about it, I’m glad he did.”

“You have your messenger boy there already,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “It’s clear you don’t need me to tell you anything.”

He took a deep breath like he was trying his hardest to stay calm and you stole a look at Bucky who gave you an assuring smile, watching you two.

“Sweetheart,” he said, the slight condescending tone in his voice making you clench your jaw. “I know that you want to be a part of the business, and Bucky is for some reason fueling this nonsense, but—”

“He’s not fueling anything,” you growled. “I happen to have my own mind, unlike what you seem to think.”

“Y/N—”

“I mean who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“Okay!” Bucky cut you two off before your father could answer. “Can I suggest we all calm down before anyone says anything they might regret?”

Both you and your father looked at him before turning to glare at each other again and your father pursed his lips, heaving a sigh.

“I’m not trying to patronize you,” he said and you raised your brows.

“Might be too late for that.”

“But I need you to be safe,” he said, making Bucky frown for the first time. “And becoming a part of the business…”

“To repeat, I can make my own decisions.”

“I’m not putting her in danger, Arthur,” Bucky said, his voice calm despite the stern expression on his face. “You know I would never.”

“Right,” your father scoffed and gave you a warning look. “Y/N, I mean it. What you’re trying to do—”

“What makes you think I’m trying to do anything?”

“Because I wrote the playbook you’re following,” your father replied. “I taught you every single trick, and now you’re going to turn around and treat me like I’m clueless?”

You clicked your tongue, tilting your head.

“I’m not doing anything that you haven’t been doing with me for years now,” you said. “You pushed me out of the picture, you’ve been treating me with kid gloves and you have the audacity to give me that speech right now?”

He ran a hand over his face.

“I’m only doing what your mother would like, for you.”

You let out a breath, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No,” you said. “You’re doing what you would like, for me. And I’m done letting you.”

You could see a muscle in his jaw ticking as he glared at you for a couple of seconds, then took a deep breath.

“We will talk later when you’re calmer,” he said and stormed out of the office before you heard the front door slam. You rolled your eyes and turned to Bucky who gave you a tight-lipped smile.

“Good morning,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Are you?” you asked back and Bucky waved a hand in the air.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Hungry though. Breakfast?”

You huffed out a laugh and nodded your head.

“Yes please,” you said. “Jesus, what a morning.”

                                               *

It wasn’t that you kept the fact that you were meeting Ethan this afternoon a secret, it was just that you didn’t think Bucky needed to know about it. This marriage was fake yes, and it wasn’t like you were having a secret affair meeting, you two were just friends and it was a normal gather up with your friend.

Or at least, that’s what you had been trying to convince yourself of the whole morning.

You drummed your fingernails on the table and reached out to grab your cup to take a sip of your latte, but lowered it when the wind bells by the door chimed and your gaze fell on Ethan. He looked around the café, then gave you a small smile and approached you as you stood up.

“Hey,” he said, giving you a curt hug and you smiled as he pulled back, then sat down again.

“Hi,” you said. “It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you two,” he said as he sat down and ordered a coffee. “How have you been?”

“Good,” you said. “You?”

“Busy a bit. You look—” he paused for a moment when his eyes fell upon your wedding ring. “Married.”

You let out a nervous laugh and heaved a sigh.

“Mm hm.”

He pursed his lips together and took a deep breath.

“I owe you an apology,” he said, making you shake your head.

“Ethan…”

“I do,” he said. “I’m—It was stupid to say all that shit. Trust me, I wanted to text and apologize so many times, I just didn’t think you wanted to hear my voice.”

You rolled your eyes at him in a lighthearted manner.

“Ethan, you happen to be the only person in my life who’s not…” you trailed off and he gave you a small smile.

“Who’s not following the same career path?”

You clicked your tongue. “That’s one way to put it,” you said, making him chuckle. “So yeah, I reacted badly as well. I was very tense when we had that conversation.”

He offered his hand. “Truce then?”

You scoffed a laugh, then reached out to shake his hand.

“Everyone knows I’m a big fan of truce,” you said and he grinned, then thanked the waitress when she brought his coffee.

“So,” he said after taking a sip of his coffee. “How is it then? Do guns go off when you and Barnes enter the building or…?”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully. “Ethan.”

“Do you guys do that Mr. and Mrs. Smith shit?”

“Wrong movie reference.”

He held up his hands, gesturing surrender.

“Does he still dislike me?”

The correct and honest answer would be that Bucky didn’t even think about Ethan, at least in your opinion. Not only did he have bigger problems what with HYDRA and their attacks in the city, his dynamic with the other bosses were bound to get tense with you officially becoming a part of the business.

So, he was probably too busy to sit around and think about Ethan.

“Nah I don’t think so,” you managed to say, leaning back. “That night at the club, I know he was an asshole but we were…things were weird between us then.”

“I’d say so,” he said, and licked his lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you said. “As long as I can answer it hypothetically, that is.”

“Is it real?”

That managed to make you pull back slightly and you blinked a couple of times before heaving a sigh.

“I don’t understand what you—”

“Because I’d like to think that we had something, back at college,” he said, making your brows furrow. “And that night at the club, you weren’t looking at him like…I could’ve sworn you hated him, Y/N.”

“Like I said, things were weird between us then,” you muttered, turning the coffee cup in this saucer and he shook his head.

“And it changed that fast?” he asked. “Listen, I’m going to shut up if you don’t want me to talk about this, but if it’s not real—”

“If it’s not real, you’ll save me?” you asked with a scoff. “I’m not some princess in a castle Ethan.”

“Trust me, I’m well aware.”

“Hypothetically, even if it weren’t—”

“Hypothetically,” he cut you off. “I’d happily wait for your divorce.”

That made you stop talking as your eyes snapped up to his and you gawked at him in a dumbfounded silence.

Ah.

Alright, this was…

The idea was quite lovely, to be honest. As you had told Becca, being with Ethan would be so simple, he was a civilian so there would be no ulterior motives or plotting or any of the tension you knew each and every couple in business had. Not only that, but Bucky had broken your heart so terribly all those years ago and you were sure that if you decided to see or treat this marriage like a real marriage, he would do it again.

Unlike Ethan.

Dear God, it would be so peaceful.

But you knew you couldn’t deal with whatever this was when you were going for your father’s crown. This right here was a distraction, and you couldn’t entertain the idea of a distraction.

You clicked your tongue and sat up straighter, checking the time.

“Sorry, I just remembered I had this thing,” you muttered, desperate to get away and he stood up as you did.

“Y/N,” he said apologetically. “I’m sorry if that sounded—”

“No no,” you said with a shake of your head. “I don’t…I get what you mean, I really do. And as much as I know you mean well, saying this now is very disrespectful to Bucky so I’d rather if we didn’t speak about this again.”

He pursed his lips and nodded his head.

“Understood,” he said. “I won’t, I promise.”

“I’ll see you later, okay?” you asked and gave him a short hug, then walked out of the café, your heart beating fast.

“What the fuck was that?” you muttered to yourself as you got into your car and let out a breath, then started driving.

                                                         *

As you walked into the Barnes skyscraper, you were still trying to comprehend just why the hell, out of all things to say to Ethan, you had chosen ‘disrespect to Bucky’ as your answer. What Ethan had said wasn’t even so bad, you had been reminding Bucky that you two would eventually get a divorce and even talk about all the things you’d do on your second wedding and marriage to someone else, but when Ethan so much as mentioned waiting for your divorce, you had decided to draw the line?

This was rather absurd.

You rolled your shoulders back as someone escorted you to the elevator and pressed the button for you and you checked your reflection in the mirror until you got to the top floor and the doors opened.

“I can find my way, thank you,” you said told the bodyguard and walked out of the elevator to make your way to Bucky’s office.

“Is he in?” you asked the receptionist who stood up when she saw you.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Great, thank you,” you said and knocked on the door, then opened it to step inside. Bucky was sitting behind his desk, his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on the computer screen, but he turned his head when he saw you and raised his brows.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you said and approached the couch to fling yourself on it, crossing your legs. “So my father didn’t call me after this morning, has George called you?”

“No.”

The curt answer made you tilt your head and you frowned at him.

“Have you heard from anyone else?” you asked. “Because I feel like—”

“How was lunch with Ethan?”

That made you stop talking and you raised your brows, your stomach doing a flip.

“Are you having me followed?” you asked sharply through your teeth and he let out a bitter chuckle.

“I don’t need to have you followed,” he said. “You met the guy in my territory in case you forgot.”

You licked your lips, crossing your arms defiantly.

“So what, am I supposed to report back to you every single thing I do now?”

“I think I’d like to know if you’re meeting your ex -who by the way, still wants to fuck you- like a week after our wedding, yeah,” he shot back, making your jaw drop.

“Easy there, cowboy.”

“Y/N we had an agreement—”

“Does it look like I’m sleeping with him from where you’re sitting?” you asked. “I know the agreement. You don’t sleep with anyone else and neither do I, until our divorce.”

“Then?”

“Then I can have lunch with whoever I want.”

“To repeat, he wants to—”

“It was a friendly lunch and he just apologized for reacted badly when I told him we would be getting married,” you defended yourself hurriedly, knowingly leaving out the part Ethan said about your potential divorce and Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Oh I wonder why he reacted badly to us getting married,” he said, sarcasm dripping from every word. “What could it be? Any ideas?”

God damn it.

“This is not even a real marriage,” you hissed as you leaned in, careful not to speak too loud in case anyone outside could hear. “Or did you forget about that part?”

“Did you forget about the part we’re supposed to act madly in love?” he asked back, his voice calm unlike yours and even though he did have a point, the petulant part of you refused to acknowledge it, so you did the first thing you thought of and got up from the couch.

“I’m done talking about this.”

“Y/N.”

“I’m done I said!” you snapped over your shoulder and walked out of the office without looking back, making your way to the elevator. Your heart was beating in your ears and you grabbed your phone, and touched Becca’s name as the doors closed, the elevator moving.

“Hey,” Becca’s voice reached you. “What’s up?”

“I snapped at Ethan for disrespecting Bucky and then snapped at Bucky within the same hour,” you said and she paused for a moment, then hummed.

“I’m getting the wine ready,” she said. “Grab some sushi on your way here?”

“You got it,” you said and hung up the phone, then leaned your head back to the elevator wall. “What the actual fuck am I doing?”

Chapter 18

[corazondebeskar-reads]

no loyalty in the apocalypse

dark!Joel Miller x f!reader

originally for Febuwhump 2024 Day 17 - hostage situation | Febuwhump masterlist

words: 578

summary: Your group falls victim to Joel Miller's hunters.

warnings: dark, dead dove do not eat, non-con, past non-con, hostage is not quite accurate but we'll pretend, captivity, dark!Joel, raider/hunter!Joel, Joel Miller is Not a Nice Man, canon-typical violence, gun violence, descriptions of murder, oral (m receiving), forced oral, ambiguous ending, dick sucking at gunpoint (but no gun play), yet another one I may return to some day idk, no use of y/n, joel can pick reader up (but imo, joel can pick anyone up. this is game joel, he's a brick fuckin house.)

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They’ve got you lined up on your knees, hands behind your head. Well, they have what’s left of you. 

You’d never seen Joel Miller or his crew before. Obviously, because you’re still alive. And he hadn’t exactly introduced himself, but he didn’t really need to. 

His brutality and bloodlust preceded him. 

“…so happens, I’ve got a coupla openings. Anyone here whose loyalty ain’t?”

Beside you, Paul raises his shaking hand. 

“Yeah? You ready to turn on your boss?”

“Yes, sir,” Paul says immediately. 

Several of Joel’s men snicker. You feel the spray hot on your side before the crack registers in your ringing ears. 

Oh god.

Joel’s wearing a lazy, crooked grin and strolls casually down the line. He tips your chin up with the hot barrel of the gun, and you whimper. 

“You his girl?”

You don’t want to speak but you’re afraid to jostle the weapon, so you whisper, “Yes.”

“He disloyal like that to you?”

You really don’t mean to, but you scoff a little. “Was his girl, not his girlfriend.”

“Oh,” his grin curls. “So I just shot your master. Guess that makes you mine, now.”

You shudder and stay quiet. 

He doesn’t like that. The gun drags up the line of your jaw to your temple. “Rather follow him to hell, sweetheart?”

“No, sir,” you whisper. 

“Go on then. Show me if you’re gonna be worth it.”

He doesn’t lower the gun. 

Your hands shake as you bring them to his belt buckle and pry it loose. You can do this. You’ve done worse for Paul. Same shit, different dick. 

When his cock springs free, you can’t help it. You gasp. 

Joel laughs. “Guessin’ I’m a little bigger than you’re used to?”

You nod. 

“Get chokin’ on it, then.”

And, god help you, you do. Not that you think any god will help you. If they were going to, they would have done it by now. If they gave a shit.

It’s clear that no one gives a shit.

So you give him your best. You take the fat, drooling head in your mouth and suck, swirling your tongue and hollowing your cheeks. You don’t move your hands from behind your head.

You get the feeling he isn’t one for the build up, so you try to acclimate to his girth as fast as possible. He’s about as long as Paul but twice as thick. When you start choking on him, as requested, he holds you there with a hand on the back of your head. After that, he picks up the control and fucks into your mouth.

You’ve gotten pretty good at taking it, so you do. He gives you no warning before he spills down your throat, but doesn’t seem to mind that you cough and sputter after, gasping.

“Good enough to buy you a couple of days,” he says with a shrug. He finally withdraws the gun from your head. “Get the fuck up.”

He doesn’t wait for you, just drags you by the collar of your shirt and lets you stumble to follow. He shoves you up against the cold side of a truck, face pressed against the passenger window, and ties your hands behind your back. 

Satisfied, he hoists you up and drops you into the bed of the truck. You scream a little in surprise and a lot in fear. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he barks. “It ain’t a long ride. Not a fucking sound, or I’ll dump ya in the river instead. Got it?”

[sweetiecutie]

Am I going to copy the other anon that asked for Ghost smut? Yes I am. Can we have some Valeria smut, pretty please. For the event! Maybe AU where Valeria is a MMA fighter, a champion. What do you think?

Pairing: Valeria Garza x fem! Reader

Warnings: mdni, smut, cheating but it’s okay ig, oral and fingering, mention of fighting and violence

A/n: for those like me who don’t know what MMA is: MMA (mixed martial arts) - an extreme sport in which two people fight each other using the techniques of boxing, wrestling and martial arts

Valeria Garza who is a MMA champion. Started out at the age of 17, purely to blow off some steam and beat the shit out of someone. Easy money, right?

Valeria Garza who is so good at fighting, she quickly made it in a top league, not letting down her position.

Valeria Garza who happened to be acquainted with one of your brother’s friends, visiting that guy’s party. And by lucky coincident you were there as well.

Valeria who saw you - a pretty little thing, sitting all alone in the living room which was turned into a makeshift dance floor. It was a pity picture, to be frank - a gorgeous girl like yourself, all dolled up for the party, looking with sad puppy eyes at her supposedly boyfriend who was talking away with another one of “fraternity dudes”, you being all forgotten by her date.

Valeria Garza who slid next to you with a drink in her hand, a tight black tank top revealed her muscular arms and shoulders, her tits visible from the low cut. She started out safe, asking “Why such a pretty thing is all alone and not out dancing?” surely making you blush and smile softly.

Valeria who spent the rest of the evening chatting and flirting with you, making you forget about your shitbag of a boyfriend. She disliked him already just for leaving you alone at the party, but your tipsy state and attentive company of Valeria made you reveal some details of your relationships to her, complaining about your boyfriend taking you for granted and often neglecting his duties as your partner. Now, she hated the dude.

Valeria who took you over to her place, giving you the bestest head of your life on old couch in her living room. She made you cum six times with her tongue and fingers, turning you into a brainless little puddle, so pliant in her hands. “That’s how you treat a girl, isn’t that right, princess?” She prodded, lapping at your pussy with greatest pleasure.

Valeria who after these events decided to keep you as her little trophy girl. She insisted on you breaking up with that douchebag of a boyfriend and give a chance to relationships with her instead. She surely can treat you better.

Valeria Garza who has you coming to every single one of her fights, demanding a kiss on a lips before the round starts, claiming that you’re her luckiest charm. And it seems to be true, seeming how effortlessly she manages to get every singe win.

Valeria who never ever allows you to try out any sort of martial arts, even under her supervision. Fighting is her job, yours is to be happy and satisfied, because happy you means happy Valeria<3

[toournextadventure]

movie night pt.v

Summary: Sam doesn't distrust you quite as much and Tara scares you. Guess that means it's time for them to meet the family.

Word Count: 6.4k Warnings: Excessive swearing, suggestive themes, Scream levels of violence/mentions of violence Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader (pt.i) (pt.ii) (pt.iii) (pt.iv) (pt.v) (pt.vi) (pt.vii) (pt.viii)

“One more attack and I’m takin’ you to Mercy,” Aunt Sherry said as she finished cleaning the dried blood on your neck. “Conscious or not.”

“I understand,” you said quietly. You supposed after another 17 stitches, you couldn’t really argue with her.

“Your Ma never wanted this life for you,” she said, her hand resting on your shoulder.

You knew she meant well, but this conversation wasn’t helping. Clearly Ma never wanted this for you, she hadn’t even wanted it for herself and Pop. Trouble was always quick to follow your family, and you were more than adept at figuring out how to navigate it. This was a different obstacle, sure, but you were clever, you could make it work.

None of you had been taught how to keep others out of trouble, though.

“I’ll see you at Mass,” you said with a smile before hopping out of the ambulance for the second time in 24 hours.

Anika had already been rushed to the hospital. As far as you knew, they were confident she would pull through. Damn, she was one tough sonofabitch. You would need to make sure you sent flowers or chocolates or something. What would she even like? Maybe you should ask Mindy.

“Who knows where you live?” Sam asked once you shuffled your way to the group. All these Ghostface attacks were giving you major deja vu.

“No one,” you said when you stopped beside Tony. “Did you tell anyone?”

“Course not,” he scoffed, “I know the family rules.”

“Well he found out somehow,” Chad said.

“Well it wasn’t from us, smart guy,” Tony said defensively. “We don’t tell nobody where we live.”

“Only ones who know are Garret and the lot of you,” you said. “And I only called Tara.”

“And where is Garret?” Mindy asked as she held her now-bandaged arm.

“His dad’s house up in the Hamptons,” you said with a shrug. “Not gettin’ back till next weekend.”

“And you’re sure he’s up there?” Tara asked.

“Yes I’m sure, now quit with the interrogation,” you huffed. “Got enough of a headache as it is.”

Tara didn’t say anything but reached down and grabbed your hand, slotting her fingers between yours. You gave her hand a gentle squeeze. It was starting to become abundantly clear why she had kept her distance. Was this going to happen to anyone that got close to the Woodsboro gang? Because that was enough to have anyone on edge.

“So what now?” Tara asked.

“Chad and I are going to the hospital with Anika,” Mindy said softly, her eyes hazy.

“Quinn is already being escorted to the police station,” Sam said.

A phone rang.

Everyone’s eyes darted to Tony, who was already digging in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out and showed you the screen, and you gulped. Oh god, this was so bad. You couldn’t do this again, you were barely holding it together as it was.

“Is it him?” Tara asked.

“Worse,” Tony said as he handed you the phone.

You watched it ring two more times before closing your eyes and answering it. The moment you held it up to your ear, you heard the static on the other end. It didn’t matter how tough you were, you weren’t prepared. Hell, nothing could have prepared you for it.

“Hey, Ma,” you said in the sweetest voice you could muster.

“If the two ‘a youse don’t get your sorry asses over here in the next 20 minutes, I’m chainin’ your ankles and throwin’ ya in the Hudson.”

“Just calm down-”

“-don’t you dare tell me to calm down, you don’t even call me to tell me about this bastard?”

You sighed. “No I don’t because you start actin’ like a wise guy!”

“Get your asses over here, Y/N.”

“Ma-”

“-Now.”

You exhaled through your nose and looked over at Tony. He mouthed a “sorry” before he shrugged. Lot of good he was. Sam and Tara were still looking at you with a mix of concern and… were they laughing?

“Can we bring two visitors?” You finally asked.

There was a bit of silence.

“Only if you follow the rules.”

“We will,” you said.

“Then yes.” A beat of silence. “And hurry.”

“Yes ma’am,” you said. “We’ll see you soon-”

-the call hung up and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Well, that went well. On the other hand, you had been on the receiving end of worse calls from your Ma. This honestly wasn’t all that bad, at least she didn’t curse your bloodline. Well, not that time.

“You threw me under the bus,” you mumbled as you handed the phone back to Tony.

“I ain’t puttin’ up with her rage,” he said even as he slid the phone back into his back pocket.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked.

“We’re goin’ somewhere safe,” you said. “Well. Safe for you.”

“She’s gonna kill ya,” Tony mumbled.

“Shut up, I know,” you mumbled back as you placed your hand on Tara’s lower back and started guiding her down the streets.

“Shouldn’t you make sure the police don’t need anything?” Tara asked, looking back at your crime-scene of an apartment building.

“Absolutely not,” you said, “they let this happen, they can do it on their own.”

You all bid goodbye to Chad and Mindy before everyone went silent as you and Tony led them through the streets of New York. It was late, the lights were blinding, and the grating sounds of sirens faded into the usual chaos. There was something comforting about it; you didn’t think you’d ever be able to live somewhere that was quiet. How Tara had managed to live in Woodsboro forever was beyond you.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t keeping an eye out for suspicious characters. Namely a certain motherfucker who had quickly moved to the top of your shit list. Oh if he just gave you the chance, you were going to make him pay. No way on God’s green earth were you going to let him get away with any of this bullshit.

“Where exactly are we going?” Sam asked when you took them into an unassuming bakery in the Bronx.

“Can’t tell you,” Tony said.

You made sure to wave at Chris when you walked by the counter and guided everyone through a back door. It was a bit suspicious, you wouldn’t lie. Come to think of it, you didn’t think your family had invited anyone over since… well, since Dicky had brought Carol over a few years ago, actually. Oh man, maybe you all needed to reconsider your rules.

“It’s not as sketchy as it seems,” you said when you turned to look at them. “But I need you both to close your eyes.”

“Excuse me?” Tara asked.

“I said it’s not as sketchy as it seems,” you huffed.

“I’m not letting you lead us into some back room,” Sam said with crossed arms.

“If you don’t close your eyes, I can’t take you in,” you said. “It’s family rules.”

“Really?” Tara asked.

“Yes,” you said with a nod. They both looked at you in silence. “I know how it sounds.”

“If we close our eyes will you quit floundering?” Tara asked. “You’re going to catch flies.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled. “Please just follow the rules, I’m tired of just standing here like a psycho.”

Sam and Tara shared a look, opposite of the one you shared with Tony. You both knew it was a bit sketchy, you knew. But when Ma and Pop made the rules, they made the rules. How were you supposed to argue? You weren’t, that’s how. Besides, if Ma and Pop found out you were breaking the rules they would have your heads.

“Fine,” Sam said with a sigh before closing her eyes. Tara quickly followed suit.

Both you and Tony shared a sigh before guiding the two girls through the back door. You each held on to them to make sure they didn’t trip over something as you took them down through a cellar and into one of the underground tunnels. Most people didn’t know about the tunnels under New York City, but your family had memorised them as if your lives depended on it.

Which, sometimes they did.

You took them through a dizzying amount of turns until you got to the door that led up to your house. If the family was smart, they would’ve locked it. And unfortunately for you, it was locked. Damn, you had hoped they would’ve lost their mind for a few seconds, you weren’t in the mood to dig around for the new location of the spare key.

The tip of your ear started to throb when you bent down to look for the key under the crate of bootleg whiskey.

“Found you,” you mumbled to yourself when your fingers brushed against the ridiculously oversized skeleton key.

“Can we open our eyes now?” Tara asked.

“No,” you said without hesitation. “We gotta get you inside first.”

“This is how people die in horror movies,” she continued while you shoved the skeleton key into the similarly oversized keyhole. “You know that, right?”

“Yes, Tara, I know that,” you bit back, finally pushing the door open. “Now come on.”

You held Tara’s hand tightly as you helped her up the stairs to your house. Well, it was your parents’ house, but that didn’t really matter. Only once you and Tony had brought both girls up to the living room did you finally pull them to a stop. The blood rushed in your ears. You hadn’t ever brought anyone home.

“Okay, you can open ‘em,” Tony said before you found your voice again.

Both girls opened their eyes slowly; you almost wanted to laugh at how wide they got when they looked around. Sure, maybe the brownstone was a bit extravagant. All the exploits of the past were on display; trophies, if you would. From the old paintings, to old newspaper clippings of heists, to the Tommy gun your great grandfather had owned before he passed down the mantle. You supposed it was a bit of a shock to the average person.

“Are you…” Sam trailed off before looking back at you. “Are you-”

“-yeah,” you said with a nod. “We’re Italian.”

“Y/N Vitale, you be nice to those girls.”

“Oh shit,” Tony said as the four of you turned around quickly.

Your eyes went wide - much like Sam’s and Tara’s - when you saw your Ma walking towards you with violence in her step. Oh, you were in trouble. You were in deep shit and no one was going to be able to save you. Maybe you should’ve just taken your chances with Ghostface; he scared you less than your mother.

“Hey Ma-”

-you were cut off by her harshly gripping your jaw and pulling you down until you were eye level with her. She twisted your head and looked at the injured ear you were sporting. Everyone flinched when your neck popped. What was one more injury in the long list of injuries you were starting to get?

She turned your head again until you could look her in the eyes. As much as you feared your Ma - respectfully, of course - you knew concern when you saw it. It never came off the way normal people did, but you knew it. It was in the crinkles around her eyes as they checked every inch of your skin.

“Are you ladies hurt?” Ma asked as she let go of your face. You rubbed your jaw as you straightened back up.

“No- um, no ma’am,” Sam stammered.

“We’re okay,” Tara followed.

“Good,” Ma said, turning to look at them and putting on her motherly smile that you certainly never got to see. “Then welcome home.”

“How come they get a welcome and I get a once-over?” You asked.

“Because they stayed safe and responsible and you didn’t,” Ma shot back. Tara snickered while Sam turned her head to hide a smile.

“As if that’s my fault,” you grumbled.

“And what did I say about tracking blood into my house?” Ma asked, raising her brows at you.

“I didn’t!” You argued. “But I’m sorry, they don’t let you grab clean clothes out of an active crime scene, Ma.”

“I’m talkin’ about your feet,” she said with a gesture down.

All five of you looked down at your feet, and you flinched when you saw the tracks you had left in the house. Adrenaline was one hell of a drug, you hadn’t even noticed you hadn’t grabbed shoes. But as you lifted one of your feet and checked the bottom, all the pain you had ignored came rushing to the surface.

Glass, dirt, and who knew what else was embedded in the skin. When you looked back, it seemed you had been leaving bloody footprints for who knew how long. Part of you figured you hadn’t tracked them through the Bronx, but you had most definitely tracked them through the tunnel. Damn. Pop was going to make you clean it all up.

“I put some spare clothes in the bathroom,” Ma said. “So get your raggedy ass upstairs and clean up before dinner.”

“Yes ma’am,” you muttered as your shoulders fell.

You ignored Tara’s barely-concealed laughter as you pushed past her to head upstairs to your bathroom. Well, you supposed technically it wasn’t your bathroom anymore, it was Ma’s, but she could suck your dick. The nerve of that woman, to call you raggedy. You were the perfect gentleman, it wasn’t your fault some psycho had decided to target you.

Just as Ma had said, she had left a folded set of clothes on the bathroom counter for you. It looked a little too formal if you were being honest, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. And you certainly couldn’t afford to be a chooser. Ma would have your head if she found out you had even thought about different clothes.

The stitches of your ever increasing wounds pulled tight, leaving a throbbing sensation around the jagged skin. Aunt Sherry had done a wonderful job, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. In the end, you grabbed a pair of hair scissors and just cut your shirt off. It was old, torn, and blood soaked; you could get a new one.

You couldn’t take your eyes off the shirt as you managed to wriggle out of your sweats. Not all of that blood had been yours. Some of it had been Mindy’s, and a lot of it had been Anika’s.  Your friends’ blood was soaked into your shirt. Each breath you took felt laboured as you wallowed in the thought that the very thing that kept your friends alive was staining your shirt.

With a shake of your head, you put the thoughts aside. This wasn’t new, you had seen blood before, you were fine. One step at a time. Finish getting out of your clothes, start the shower, wash your feet. And the rest of the dried blood that was becoming itchy. Oh, Ma was gonna kill you for dirtying up her shower.

The water was steaming by the time you finally stepped in. You let out a hiss when it hit your skin, creating more than just a throb in your wounds. It stung, bad. But surely it would clean you right up, right? Sanitisation, yeah, that’s what it would be. You get clean and fight infection; two birds, one stone.

By the time you were down to your feet, you were sitting on the edge of the tub while the water fell on your back. Your hair dripped into your eyes and you were constantly trying to push it back so you could see. The pair of tweezers in your hands was slick from water and you just needed to get a few more pieces of glass out so you could finish up.

You weren’t looking at the door when you heard it open.

“I told your sorry ass I’d be out in a minute, this is delicate work,” you called out.

A small hand appeared in front of your face and, without lifting your head, you looked up to see Tara standing in front of you. She, too, had been given a spare set of clothing that looked a little too big. Whose shirt was she wearing anyway? Her hand never moved until you sighed and placed the tweezers on her palm.

“You’re shit at this,” she said as she knelt down and started looking for the few remaining pieces of glass.

“Don’t have to be good, just have to be effici- ouch.” She swatted your hand away when you went to stop her from hurting you again. “You’re so rough,” you grumbled.

“Don’t have to be gentle,” she said as she looked up at you, “just have to be efficient.”

“You’re so mean,” you whispered even as you shifted your position to ease a certain… uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe you liked when she was mean. Maybe you liked it a little too much. Oh god, your family was going to see how whipped you were for a girl you hadn’t even properly been on a date with. Bringing Tara to the house maybe wasn’t such a smart idea on your part.

“Do you have gauze?” She asked, setting the tweezers down in the sink so more blood than necessary wouldn’t get on the floor.

“Underneath the sink,” you said with a gesture of your head. “Got a whole first aid kit.”

You watched her as she got up and checked under the sink. It only took a moment, it was a giant metal kit, no one could miss it. In fact, when she brought it out it was almost bigger than she was. You bit the inside of your cheek so you wouldn’t laugh at her. If your body wasn’t at her mercy, you wouldn’t have been so polite.

She quickly dug around and got to work finding everything she needed before getting started. Her hands moved expertly as she started cleaning and bandaging your feet. If you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve guessed she had been a nurse in a past life. Unfortunately you did know better, and the scar on her hand just reminded you of how she knew so much.

“I never said thank you,” she said after she finished wrapping your left foot.

“For what?” You asked as you leaned back to turn the water off; you weren’t going to need it anymore.

“For saving Mindy and Anika,” she continued.

She wasn’t looking up at you. Quite the contrary, it was almost like she was avoiding your eyes. Why would she thank you for such a thing? It wasn’t like you were going to leave them behind to die. You weren’t always the sharpest tool in the shed - Ma made sure to remind you of that every now and then - but you weren’t that selfish.

“You don’t gotta thank me for that,” you said softly.

“I just did,” she said as she finished wrapping your right foot. “You’re done.”

You placed your feet on the ground and stood up slowly, easing your feet back into holding your weight. It hurt, ached even, but at least they were clean. How you hadn’t noticed the injuries before Ma, you had no idea. But quite frankly, Tara did a phenomenal job of wrapping them securely. 

“Hurry up and get dressed,” Tara ordered, and you looked up just in time to catch the towel she had thrown in your direction. “Your mom is torturing Sam by giving her a lecture on street safety.”

“You should’ve listened to it too,” you said, but you quickly started drying off. “You hippies can’t handle these streets.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” you said through gritted teeth as you pulled your pants up. It hurt your feet to be moving on them so much. “Notice your bunch weren’t even here for a few months before getting attacked.”

“And you know so much about street safety?” Tara asked. “The one who got shot at a protest?”

You hesitated. “Yeah, I do.”

You were facing the mirror as you started buttoning up your shirt, and you could see Tara staring at you with furrowed brows. Maybe you should’ve just kept your big trap shut. It wasn’t exactly the greatest time to be getting into backstory now, was it? No, it most certainly wasn’t.

“You didn’t get shot at a protest,” she said slowly. “Did you?”

You turned around as you finished tucking your shirt into your pants. “Sorry, doll,” you said with a smile, “only girlfriends get to know that information.” With a wink, you gently pushed past her and exited the bathroom.

“Oh you dick,” you heard her say even as she followed after you.

You waited at the bottom of the stairs before placing your hand on her lower back and guiding her through the brownstone to the dining room. Everyone’s obscenely loud voices reverberated off the brick walls. Seemed the whole family was invited for dinner. A little unusual considering it was a Thursday night, but given the circumstances it could be forgiven.

A wide variety of “hello”s deafened you when you and Tara walked into the dining room. Everyone was dressed well - the same dress shirt and pants as you, which was typical - and they had pulled out a few extra seats for Sam and Tara. Gale was sitting beside your Pop; she gave you a smile and a small wave, which you returned.

“Oy, Street Rat,” Mitch called, “be a good pup and show your girl to her seat.”

“Shut up,” you shot back, but nonetheless led Tara to one of the two empty seats next to each other.

Out of pure mercy, you let her sit between you and Sam so she wasn’t having to deal with any of the other family members. The others heckled you when you helped push her seat in. You could feel your cheeks heating up while you grumbled and plopped down in your own seat, refusing to look up at any of them.

“Quiet,” Pop said, and the room immediately fell silent. “Who’s gonna say grace?”

“Can’t be me,” Joel said with a shrug. “He clearly don’t listen cause Y/N is still here.”

“You really wanna be a wise guy tonight?” You asked. “Cause I still got a lot of pent up anger.”

“Enough,” Ma said quietly, but you all listened. “I’ll say grace.”

"Yes, Ma," everyone said in unison.

"Bow your heads," she said, and everyone slowly did as instructed.

You cheated a little bit. While Ma was saying grace, blessing the food and yours and the Carpenters' lives, you looked at Tara out of the corner of your eye. If you looked a little harder you almost thought you could see a flush on her cheeks. For what, you had no idea, but you made the split decision to reach over and take her hand.

She linked her fingers with yours right before Ma finished.

"Amen," each person said before all normal talk resumed.

You helped Tara and Sam get their food, making sure everyone behaved. They did, they all knew the family rules, but the Carpenters didn't and you knew the lot of you could be… a little chaotic. Eight kids, two parents, sometimes the spouses and nieces and nephews. Lucky for the girls, it was only the immediate family.

"Oy, show me the ear," Dicky said right as you tried to start eating.

"So you can point and laugh?" You asked. "No way."

"I just wanna see," he said.

"I got it," Alfie said around a mouthful of food.

The look on Tara's and Sam's faces was comical when Alfie reached across the table, gripped your jaw, and turned your head. You did your best to smile at the two of them to let them know it was normal, but they didn't seem to believe you. If anything, it almost made Tara look a little frustrated. Maybe even angry.

"That's it?" Dicky asked when you snapped at Alfie and he let you go. "All that hubbub for that?"

"What do you mean?" You asked. "I got a notch outta my ear, I was gonna get that part pierced."

"All he's sayin' is you took on Ghostface twice, and that's what you walk away with?" Joel butted in. "Pass the salt, wouldya?"

"It's more than you ever walked away with," Martha defended you. "Don't listen to a word he says."

"The two 'a youse walk away with any cool scars?" Mitch asked, turning to look at Sam and Tara.

You could see them squirm in their seats.

"Watch it-"

"-fuck off-"

"-none of your business." Martha, you, and Mercy all said at the same time.

You felt Tara squeeze your hand once.

“Hey Street Rat, you down to make a run for me?” Dicky asked.

You didn’t bother swallowing before you answered. “I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’ this week.”

“I didn’t mean this second, jackass.”

You glared at him and swiped your tongue over your bottom teeth. “Sure,” you finally said with a shrug, “just give me a week and I’ll be back in action.”

"So," Sam started, wiping her mouth off on the napkin before looking around the table. “What do you all do for a living?”

“Accounting,” every single one of you said at the same time. Pop squeezed the bridge of his eyes as you all looked at each other sheepishly.

“All of you?” Sam asked.

“Mercy’s a doctor,” Tony chimed in.

“Accounting’s a family business,” Dicky said with a gentle nod.

“Right,” Sam said with her own nod and a polite smile. Something told you she didn’t exactly believe him.

Conversation continued as normal, with everyone talking over each other. Thankfully, they all started asking Sam and Tara normal questions, and you could visibly see them start to relax. You wondered when the last time was that they had a family dinner. Not including Chad and Mindy; they were family, but they weren’t family. There was a bit of a difference.

“Ladies,” Pop said once Ma had brought out the cannoli. Everyone froze, only their eyes moving between him and the Carpenters. “It’s been a pleasure to have you, but there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

The girls stiffened in their seats, and Tara squeezed your hand again. You tried to give Pop a look that said to calm down, but he wasn’t even looking at you. His eyes were trained on Sam and Tara, and you couldn’t blame him. Hell, you didn’t know when non-family had been over last. Hopefully he was going to behave.

“You might not understand the gravity of this statement, but Vitale blood has been spilled for you two,” he said as he leaned back in his chair, his hands folded in front of him on the table.

“Oh brother,” you whispered.

Tara looked at you and you shook your head lightly and rolled your eyes. This was going to be ridiculous.

“One of us,” everyone looked at you, “felt you were worth dyin’ for.” You sighed. “We don’t take that lightly.”

“We greatly appreciate it-”

“-we have a family rule,” he interrupted Sam. “If one of us voluntarily spills blood for someone, we all follow suit.” He leaned forward on the table and waited until both Sam and Tara were looking him in the eye. “We’ll put that Ghostface character at the bottom of the Hudson.”

“Tone it down a smidge,” you whispered and gestured down with your hand.

Pop opened his mouth and closed it once. “We’ll, uh, protect you with our lives.” You gestured again. “Welcome… to the family?”

“Better,” you whispered with a scrunch of your nose that was followed by a gentle smile.

“We really do appreciate it,” Tara said.

“It’s nice to know we have, um,” Sam inhaled deeply and looked around, “Italians on our side.”

“Atta girl,” Mercy said.

“You catch on quick,” Martha agreed.

Dinner finished soon after, and everyone went about collecting the dishes and cleaning. Martha, in all her pregnant glory, kept Sam and Tara at the table, talking their ears off. At one point, you took the still-full coffee cups from in front of them and heard her talking about… something. You weren’t entirely sure, you just knew the word “family” was being thrown around a lot.

Tara looked at you and mouthed “help me.” You just smiled, shook your head, and mouthed “no” in return. The glare she gave you… it was no question she and Sam were related, they both had killer eyes. Tara’s were particularly beautiful at that moment though, did she know that? They almost reminded you of a warm hazelnut-

“-You’d best keep movin’,” Martha said. She was watching you with a ridiculous smirk. “She’s got a look that could kill.”

“Would you like some tiramisu?” You asked. Tara’s eyes softened, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yes please,” she said.

“I’ll go get it.”

“You’re whipped!” Dicky called from the kitchen before you could even stand up straight.

“Give it a few days, Dick,” Joel said as he leaned on the doorframe. “Tara’ll have ‘em on a leash.”

“Shut up,” you shot back as you pushed past them to get into the kitchen. “It’s called bein’ polite.” You carefully plated the tiramisu. “Somethin’ you clearly know nothin’ about.”

“Seems our little Street Rat’s turnin’ into a Guard Dog,” Mitch chimed in, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Your family really came out of the woodworks, they did.

“Next time Ghostface calls, I’m givin’ him your address,” you said as you walked back into the dining room and placed the plate down in front of Tara. And Sam, you had made her a plate too.

Maybe you were whipped.

“Do it,” Dicky said. “Matter ‘a fact, give him my phone number too, he and I need to have a talk.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t tolerate that shit on my turf.”

“That’s enough,” Pop said, and everyone quickly shut up. “Go home, the lot of ya.” He looked down at Sam and Tara. “We’ve got beds made up for the both of you.”

“Thank you,” they both said with polite smiles.

“Gale stayin’ tonight too?” You asked.

And just like that, she came in at the mention of her name. Speak of the devil.

“Yes I am,” she said with a smile. “I have something I want to show you three tomorrow when it’s day time.”

“What did you find?” Tara asked quickly.

“We’ll have more time tomorrow,” Gale answered. You watched as Tara slumped back in her seat in defeat.

Everyone finished cleaning up their stuff and started leaving the brownstone. You could see the gears turning in Tara’s head when they all left through the front door, but you shook your head at her. It wasn’t something she needed to know at the moment. It was late, dark, and everyone just needed to get some sleep. If she really wanted to know more later, you would tell her.

Probably.

“She gonna have you in a muzzle next time I see you?” Joel asked as he blocked the doorway.

“Keep movin’,” Tony said as he pushed Joel out. “Call me if ya need somethin’,” he said to you with a smile.

“You got it,” you answered. “Now get out, I’m exhausted.”

Mercy gave you a kiss on the cheek and Martha gave Sam and Tara hugs, but then everyone was gone. You were left with the Carpenters, Gale, and your parents. It was… disturbingly quiet, if you were being honest. You almost missed the chaos of having everyone over. Well, you would see them all at Mass, it would be fine.

“All of you get upstairs and get to bed,” Ma said with a gentle nod of her head. “It’s late and I know you all must be tired.”

“Come on, Sam,” Gale said with a gesture, “I’ll show you to your room.”

“Good night,” Sam said with a polite smile and wave. A chorus of “good nights” followed her as she similarly followed Gale upstairs.

“Tara sweetie, you can sleep in Y/N’s bed,” Ma said before looking at you. “I made you a pallet on your floor.”

“Thanks, Ma,” you said, leaning in to leave a kiss on her cheek. “Good night, you two.” You leaned over to give Pop a kiss on the cheek as well.

“Good night,” Tara said with her own small wave.

You placed your hand on Tara’s lower back as you gently pushed her in front of you up the stairs. Unfortunately for you, your room was right beside the two guest rooms that everyone else was staying in. Not that you necessarily had anything planned, but even if you did, you wouldn’t dare risk Sam or Gale hearing you.

Sometimes life was rather cruel.

“She left you some pyjamas on the bed,” you said once you showed Tara into your room. “Bathroom is down the hall, we’ve got spare toothbrushes in the top left drawer.”

“Thanks,” Tara said softly.

You watched as she grabbed the pyjamas and promptly exited the room, leaving you alone for the first time since your shower. And now that you were alone, you could feel all the wear and tear of the past two days weighing heavy on you. Anika was still in the hospital. Was she even alive? Surely she was, someone would have let you know, right? Or they at least would have let Sam or Tara know.

And what about Quinn? She would be safe at the police station, you knew that much. They didn’t care for anyone else in the city, but they did care for their own. There was no way in hell they would let anything happen to a Detective’s daughter, especially when that daughter was Quinn. No, Quinn was safe.

Chad and Mindy were safe at the hospital with Anika. There was no doubt about it. Your family had people up there, and Pop had already said he told them to stay close and keep their eyes out. They would die before they let anything happen to those three, so they were actually safer than any of you.

When Tara came back into the room, looking mighty adorable in the oversized t-shirt and sleep pants, you gave her a smile and made your own way to the bathroom. You needed to get out of those clothes pronto before you lost your goddamn mind. The clothes were comfortable, but you were starting to feel constricted.

You left your toothbrush hanging out of the side of your mouth as you unbuttoned the shirt. Each inch lower revealed still-forming bruises and the few bouts of stitches. With a grimace, you finally let the shirt fall to the floor. You didn’t mind scars, really you didn’t, but you hadn’t wanted to get them this way.

Maybe that’s how Tara feels too, you thought with a frown as you finished brushing your teeth and cleaning up. You hadn’t entirely planned for it, but you had known it was a possibility. But Tara? She hadn’t had any idea. And it had all been done by her girlfriend’s hand. What kind of havoc did that wreak on a person’s mind?

You were still thinking about Tara and Amber when you walked back into your room. Tara was already on the bed, her back to you. The door closed with a soft *click* and you turned the light off before plodding over to the pallet. There was an art to pallet making, and your family had perfected it. But as you laid down on the floor and tried to pull the blanket up to your chin, your injuries started to throb and sting.

It wasn’t going to be the floor that kept you awake all night.

There was no way you could lay on your right side, you had that cut on your hip and your right ear was missing a piece. But you couldn’t lay on your left side either because you had that cut on your bicep. Maybe if you tried to lay on your front- nope, not that either. If you had to sleep sitting up, so help you god, you were going to snap-

-something shuffled on your bed, and you quickly stilled yourself. Shit, you hadn’t meant to wake Tara. You were practically holding your breath as the shuffling continued, but then you heard the creak of the bed and someone walking across the room. It was dark, but you didn’t have to use anything more than common sense to know it was Tara who was lifting your blanket and crawling into the pallet with you.

“Not a word,” she said softly as she carefully wrapped an arm around your waist and rested her head on your shoulder.

It hurt. You would rather die than tell her that. Instead, you just pulled her closer and tried not to shift when her fingers rubbed the skin on your hip. It was obsessive, incessant, and it was almost becoming uncomfortable. But you weren’t going to tell her to stop, not when something was clearly on her mind.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into all of this,” Tara said softly.

“I’ve been dragged into worse situations,” you said flippantly. “And never by a pretty girl.”

“Don’t get yourself killed,” she said, almost as if she hadn’t heard what you had just said.

“I don’t plan on it, sweetheart,” you chuckled.

Her hand left your hip and you felt her grab your chin and turn your head. You couldn’t really see her, not properly at least, but you knew she was looking at you. Studying you for something; you wouldn’t pretend to know what. It strained your neck, but you kept your mouth shut.

You felt her pull your face down until her lips were on yours. Soft but firm. It wasn’t a kiss that was going to lead anywhere, she wasn’t trying to move any further. But judging by the way her bottom lip quivered, you knew it was important. You held her tighter to you until she pulled back and let go of your jaw, resting her head back on your shoulder.

“That didn’t mean anything,” Tara said softly.

“I know,” you said with a nod of your head that no one could see.

You both knew she was lying; you still fell asleep easily.

[kooberist]

. . .𝗧𝗔𝗣𝗘 𝟬𝟭 - GROUPIE - TRAILER!

17:30 ━━━━⬤─────── 34:07

ᯓ★ a/n: I know havent posted in like 4 months or something but inspo struck me last night. Please do understand this is based off the infamous groupie tape by marilyn manson. Yes im well aware of what he did and what role the groupie tape had in the trail. No i do not support that man but the idea of groupie was just so cool. This is all fiction < 3. All of that is old shit i wrote 2 months ago when i started to write this then i took a break and now im wondering if i should finish.

ᯓ★ Warnings : drugging, non con, r*pe, bondage, talks about jesus during sex, violence towards reader, blood, gun play, 18 year old reader, recording, spanking, slight somnophilia, underage drinking, mentions of satanism/devil worship, virginity loss, THIS IS FICTION!!!! Btw if you click that link heres tw because.....its crazy (you can only hear)

A slim, long finger pushes the VHS tape into the player. Click. The tape is in and will begin playing the video shortly.

The 30 minute tape is cut short at 17 mins as the lady on the couch pauses it.

"You can never release this. If this ever reaches the media you will be fucking over. I mean it"

The lady's eyes were filled with fear as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. The man standing behind her nodded solemnly, clearly understanding the seriousness of her words. He reached for the remote and turned off the TV, the screen going black as the room fell silent. The tape was carefully removed from the player and hidden away; the secret it held was locked tight.

The house is loud. Music is loud as drunk rockers dance with girls and, most likely, high-ranking groupies. A small girl is navigating her way through the crowd of people to the stairs. Your arms are full as you carry a big painting. This would be the day she met her idol. Up the stairs and now in front of a hallway of rooms, you just had to find out which one Hoseok was in.

Knocking on a door to get nothing then opeing another to see a group orgy. Lets act like you didn't see that. Shutting the door quickly your small frame walks over to the next door.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

You open the door to see a man with dark long strands with his nose to a table. He looks up, coke on his nose. Its him. The man on the painting you had.

"Are you Hoseok?" you ask tentatively, trying to keep your voice steady despite the nerves that were starting to build up inside you. The man nods slowly, a small smirk playing on his lips as he gestures for you to come in. You step into the room, your heart racing with excitement and uncertainty, unsure of what is to come next. This was the moment you had been waiting for—the moment when you would finally come face-to-face with the man who had consumed your thoughts and dreams for so long.

The man stands up. His heavy boots hit the crusty and creaky wooden floor boards. He guides you into the room and closes the door behind you.

There is no way you were a groupie. This was no slut. But a girl who could only dream of being a groupie. "sit down" he commands, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine. As you take a seat, you can't help but feel a surge of adrenaline mixed with fear. What did he want from you? Your mind races with possibilities as you wait for him to break the silence and reveal his intentions. But one thing was for certain—you were no longer just a fan, you were in the presence of the man himself, and the reality was both exhilarating and intimidating.

"Are you here to suck my dick?" Hoseok says nonchilantly

his eyes piercing into yours with a mix of curiosity and amusement. Your heart races at his blunt question, unsure of how to respond. You had fantasized about meeting him and being close to him, but you never expected this level of directness. The air between you crackles with tension as you search for the right words and the right way to navigate this unexpected turn of events. Your mind races, trying to process the sudden shift in the dynamic between you.

"N-no. I wanted to give you this." You shyly speak as you hand him the pants with his face on them.

"What good are you if you aren't here to suck my dick?! You interrupted my lines to show me this weak ass painting?". You feel a wave of shock and embarrassment wash over you as his harsh words hit you like a punch to the gut. The fantasy you had built up in your mind shatters in an instant, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable. You struggle to find your voice, feeling small and insignificant in his presence. The weight of his expectations hangs heavy in the air, and you realize that the reality of the situation is far from the dream you had envisioned.

You struggle to find your voice, feeling small and insignificant in his presence. The weight of his expectations hangs heavy in the air, and you realize that the reality of the situation is far from the dream you had envisioned. You get up to go, trying not to cry, but his cold hands grab you.

His hand locked on your delicate wrist as he brought his other hand to your face with a loud smack. Cheek red with his hand print, you stand there in shock, unable to comprehend what just happened. His sudden violence sends a wave of fear through your body, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest.

The pain in your cheek serves as a stark reminder that this man is not who you thought he was. As you struggle to break free from his grip, you realize that the fantasy you had built up in your mind has turned into a nightmare. You gather your strength, and with a newfound determination, you finally break free and run, leaving behind the shattered remains of your once beautiful dream. "Such a fucking slut " he spat. "Coming into my room acting like you didn't come here to take this dick."

"You think guys are going to want to fuck you?" His hands are grabbing at your tits through your cotton dress. "Stop!" You scream, pushing him away with all your might. Tears stream down your face as you scramble to get away from him. He overpowers you and keeps grabbing. "You think you're going to get married and have a nice family?" You fight back with all the strength you have left. "STOP!" You scream loudly, but he brings his hand back to your face to shut you up. "Sit down." He pushes you into a leather chair, and you feel trapped and helpless. His words ring in your ears, and his hands are still lingering on your body. You know you have to get out, but fear paralyzes you.

He brings rope to you, and before you know it, you are tied down to the chair , unable to move or escape. Tears stream down your face as you realize the severity of the situation.

The feeling of helplessness weighs heavily on you as you struggle against the restraints, but deep down, you know you must stay calm and think of a way to free yourself. Your mind races with thoughts of how to outsmart him and break free from his hold, but the fear of what he might do next keeps you frozen in place. It's a battle of wills, and you know you have to find a way to survive this terrifying ordeal.

Hoseok turns away to grab his pill bottle, emptying the lat 2 in his hand. "Open your fucking mouth." As he approaches you with the pills in hand, a sense of dread washes over you. You know you cannot consume whatever is in those capsules, but you also know that refusing him might lead to consequences you cannot bear to think about. With a deep breath, you muster the courage to speak up, "I won't do it.”

His eyes meet yours with a mixture of anger and disappointment, but you stand your ground, determined to fight against his control. In that moment, you realize that survival means more than just physical escape; it also means holding onto your own agency and resisting his attempts to break you. His strong hand grips your mouth and forces your jaw open.

You scream and scream, but he shoves the pills in. His pretty finger is pushing down your throat to make sure you take it , choking and gagging as you struggle against his relentless hold. As the pills slide down your throat, you feel a sense of defeat wash over you. But deep down, a fire ignites within you, fueling your determination to never let him control you again. He started to untie the rope and free you from the chair. He knows you will try to escape him again.

TO BE CONTINUED!

©️KOOBERIST 2024

[kaylinlmao]

Fight *Edited*

Warnings: swearing, violence, r is 17, boys are 18

Summary: The new kid doesn't know any better and challenges the toughest crew in school, so they come to teach her a lesson in front of everyone. What they didn't expect was the new kid can fight.

"Hi. I'm Y/N L/N." I said quietly. I've gone to a new school every year of middle school and the first three in high school. Now that I'm in my last year of high school and 18 years old, I should be used to getting up and introducing myself right? Wrong. I still get anxiety talking in front of friends but a full classroom of teenage assholes? No way.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. Have a seat back there by those boys" Mr. Rogers, the English teacher said. I weaved through the desks swiftly with my eyes glued to the floor. I sat down, took out a notebook and pen and started doodling. I was drawing a pretty flower when I heard snickering behind me. Those boys who Mr. Rogers told me to sit by were staring at me and laughing. The one with short black hair was talking to the boy with dirty blondish hair. One with short curly hair was laughing with a guy with long black hair. Then there was a guy right behind me with long curly blonde hair. He was boring holes in the back of my head. Lastly, the boy sitting across from me. He had ginger hair and was chuckling at a joke one of his friends made.

DING DING DING. The bell rang, signaling lunchtime. I got up and walked outside. I found a nice tree, sat underneath it, got my lunch out, ate, and just people watched. There was a group of girls giggling at a table not far from me. Then one girl caught my eye and came over to sit beside me.

"Hello. I'm Donna! What's your name?" "Y/N" She was really sweet and we talked for a while during lunch. While we were talking, the group of boys walked out the lunch room doors and everyone scurried to get away from them like they had some sort of virus of something. "Who are those boys?" I asked Donna. "Oh. Um, they're bad news. You should stay away from them." She said, quietly. "I will if you tell me who they are and why everyone avoids them like they have the plague"

"Ok. Well, you see the one with the short black hair?" I nodded. "So, that's Bruce Yamada. He plays baseball and is like a serious ladies man. He'll pretend to be your friend then totally stab you in the back. The one with the dirty blond hair. Not the one with curly hair, the one with the Letterman jacket. That's Billy Showalter. He's the local paperboy. He's kinda mean. They're all really mean which is why I said you should stay away from them." I nodded my head and waved my hand impatiently.

"And?" "And then there's the guy with short curly hair. That's Finney Blake. He's more low-key mean then the other guys. Like he'll degrade the shit out of you while his friends beat your ass. Then the little short one with ginger hair. That's Griffin Stagg. He's more of the stalker. He'll be the one to figure out where you live and what your schedule is so they can jump you without getting caught. The there's those two boys right there in the corner." "The one with the long curly hair and long black hair?" I asked. "Yes" she confirmed. "They are Vance Hopper and Robin Arellano. They're the fighters. They're the ones who fight most of the fights."

"So why does everyone avoid them? They don't look very scary. They also seem like an unexpected group of friends." I said. Donna gave me the side eye. "Well, something happened three years ago and nobody's really over it" Now we're getting somewhere. "There was this guy. His name was Albert Shaw but he was nicknamed the Grabber. He would snatch up boys from off the streets and kidnap them. What he didn't think through was he kidnapped too many boys at once." "Who did he kidnap?" " Bruce Yamada, Vance Hopper, Billy Showalter, Griffin Stagg, Robin Arellano, and Finney Blake." I nodded my head and snapped my fingers. "So that's why they're all friends. To bond over the trauma" We looked at each other a moment and laughed.

"In all honesty though, they look like a bunch of douches." What I didn't know was that their stupid group was walking behind us and heard the last part of the conversation. Then they went back there and started making a plan to jump me after school and teach me a lesson in front of everybody.

DING DING DING. The bell rang for last period. "What class do you have next?" Donna asked. I looked at my schedule and groaned. "Math." "Oh me too! We can go together then!" "Ok" We walked in and sat down together. I just doodled on my arm and wasn't really listening until I felt something hit the back of my head. It was a note from the boy behind me.

"Just warning you. The dead kids group plan to jump you after school and beat your ass in front of everyone to teach you a lesson. -Wyatt"

"For reals? Why? That's ok though. I can fight. -Y/N"

"All six of them? Because they heard you calling them all douches -Wyatt"

"I'll be fine. Thanks for the warning. Wyatt. -Y/N"

I was in the middle of an internal battle for the rest of math class. Anxiety and confidence were fighting. For a second I was like "yo, I got this." Then anxiety kicks in and now I'm thinking "in front of an audience? I've never fought in front of people before!" I was about to have a panic attack when I remembered something my dad said. "When you're fighting, remember to focus on your opponents fighting style. They use their fists often, go for the legs." I was so zoned out remembering all of my dads fighting tips I didn't even notice that the bell rang and everyone was filing out of the classroom.

"Y/N? Are you ok?" Donna asked sweetly. "Yeah I'm fine. Just tired." "Ok. Lets go then." We walked out together to the crowded parking lot. As I rounded the corner I saw the boys waiting for me. I decided just to try and walk around them just to test them. I swerved around but one of them caught me by my wrist. Robin. "Yes? How can I help you douches?" By then a large crowd was coming over to see the fight. For some odd reason all of them looked at me with pity. "What'd you say?" Robin said dangerously slow. "How. Can. I. Help. You. Douches? Did your dumb little brains get it that time?" Now, I may have been cool and calm on the outside but I was fucking terrified on the inside. Why the fuck was I making them even madder? Omg. I was gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

They all looked at me livid and red with anger. I was just waiting for someone to swing first. Finally, Vance did. He swung but he put too much emotion into it. Emotion is weakness. I dodged it easily, grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back. Then I wiped his legs out from under him so he hit his head on the concrete, blacking out. I then felt someone grab my hair and pull me up. I looked up to see Finney with his hand in my hair. I whimpered quietly but he heard it. So now he thinks I'm submitting and giving up. Wrong. And now I just move a little bit to the side over here, bring the heel of my foot up and kicked him with my heel right where the sun don't shine. He doubled over, falling to his knees and letting go of my hair.

2 down 4 to go. Billy and Bruce both started swinging. Now, if I'm being honest, they got a few really good punches in. But I noticed that Billy was fighting leaning on his toes. So if I just slide under his legs and pull then he falls over. Now Billy's down too. I also saw that Bruce wasn't completely focused on me. He was more focused on the crowd surrounding us. So I ran and tackled him. He fell straight down and hit his head. Robin now. He was gonna be a tough one. He's a damn good fighter. I swung first just to test my theory. He dodged and punched back. Yup! My theory was right. He pulls his punches. They last too long and go further then necessary.

When he punched my eye, I won't lie. I almost blacked out. But I had enough in me to pull his arm and flip him across. He landed on top of Vance who was just coming around. They were all on the ground except for Griffin. I walked over to him and socked him straight in the chin. He walked backwards and tripped over Bruce's leg. Done. It was absolutely silent. As I was waking away, I heard someone say "how did she beat all six of them?"

I walked over to the boys helping each other up, furious. I pointed at Robin. "You pull your punches. It gives more time to grab it and get you back before you can punch again." I pointed at Billy. "You fight on your toes which gives you terrible balance. Fight on the balls of your feet, not your toes." I point at Bruce. "You kept focusing on the crowd, not your opponent. It gave me a chance to take you by surprise." I point at Griffin. "You rely too much on your friends. You can only rely and trust yourself." I point at Finney. "You need more confidence. Be confident in your abilities." I point at Vance. "Lastly, you. You fight with too much anger and emotion. Emotion is weakness." I walked away quickly to my car and hopped in. My parents were at work and so was my sister. When I got home, I went to the bathroom to see how bad it was. I looked and saw I just had a black eye and a bloody nose. And scratches and bruises all around but. I cleaned it and sat down to read, not knowing that at the moment, 6 boys were developing an unhealthy obsession with me.

So. This is my first imagine. It was kinda long and it sucked. But I tried. All parts up to 9 are posted! Love y'all! :) -Kaylin

[gvtted-ratz]

read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.

FEM ALIGNING/IDENTIFYING PPL (unless mutuals/friends) DNI WITH OUR MLM WORKS. fem ppl can still request tho. respect our wishes or get blocked. yes we do read/check everything. we tag appropriately/use tags that go with our posts.

want 2 request? find the rules: here!

want 2 see all the fics? find em: here!

Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

[dbnightingale24]

Fog In The Mind, Desire In The Heart

A Dark Curtis Everett Love Story

~~

Surprise! I decided to take a small break from the three novels I'm writing (I promise that your updates are coming!!), and finish the damn Curtis Everett one shot I promised you guys years ago. It may take me forever to get to the point, but I do eventually get there, in my defense. Anywho, this is a lot shorter than what you all are used to, but I hope you all enjoy it just the same! As always, thanks to the amazing @fuckingbyefor the moodboard! Here we go!

Word Count: 9911 (yes, you read that correctly)

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+), Slight Snowpiercer AU, Slight Age Gap between Edgar and Reader (work with me people), Curtis Everett, Daddy Kink, Non Con/Dub Con, Drinking, Plotting, Self Hate, Loathing, Betrayal, Swearing, Angst, Mild Violence, Anger, Pining...I think that's it?

Songs That Inspired This Story: I'd Walk Through Fire For You, Just Let Me Adore You

Summary: Everyone stuck in the tail section dreamed of a better life for themselves. Everyone except for Curtis. For him, his better life would start when you were happy and by his side, no matter who he had to force out of the way.

~~

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted/published elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

~~

For as much as you hate Curtis, he lives rent free in your head all day. You sit at the bar that Nam so lovingly bar tends day in and day out, listening in and out of the conversation he makes almost every night.

“Right now isn’t the time, but you’ll see...the world will be livable again. Maybe another year or so, but we’ll be able to get off of this fucking train,” he tells you tonight, an echo of the same thing he’s been saying every night for the last two years.

“What did Curtis say?” you snicker, putting your empty glass down as he reaches for your favorite poison: whiskey.

“He’s busy,” Nam simply shrugs, refilling your glass with ice and the dark brown liquid.

“When isn’t he?”

“Y/N, you know what happened to Edgar-”

“He’s gone, Nam,” you snap unintentionally. “Whatever the hell Curtis meant to happen, didn’t. Edgar has been dead for two years and all the while we wait for the great Curtis Everett to come up with a fucking plan to make all of this not seem so shit as it is,” you sigh before downing your drink.

Your reasons for hating Curtis are very simple and clear for everyone to understand.

Everyone except Curtis.

You remember when you first boarded onto the stupid train that “saved” your life. You remember them ripping you away from your Mother, who sacrificed herself so you could have a chance at life, and her promising you that she’d meet up with you later on in the train.

She never did.

You know she only did it because she knew it was the only way you’d board the train, but the anger feel towards her never leaves.

It never has and it never will. 

That was the first time you saw him.

You were put into a group of young teenage girls, a place you barely belonged since you were almost 17, and you felt a pair of eyes on you. 

It’s not like that was uncommon, but it didn’t help anything. In fact, as time went on, on the train, you found that a lot of men had their eyes on you. You were beautiful, soft spoken but also opinionated, and kind. You were so understanding and helpful, unlike almost everyone else on the train who gave up hope as soon as the doors closed.

They all did their best to make you notice them, Curtis more than most, but you were more than happy to keep to yourself. 

At least, that’s until Edgar came of age. While he was younger than you by a few years, he was persistent and the only one who could truly make you smile and laugh. For as tense and gloomy as things could be, Edgar always found a way to soften everything. The first few times he asked you out (well, too hangout on his bed), you said no because of the age difference. 

“Who cares?” he laughed as he followed you to the little hospital section they had set up in one of the train cars.

“Clearly I do!”

“It’s not that bad!”

“Edgar-”

“What could it hurt? We’ll split a protein block, a cup of water, talk a bit, and I’ll walk you back to your bunk. It’ll be fun!”

“Edgar-”

“You know you want to, I see it in your eyes.”

“No Edgar,” you smiled softly before making your way to the children’s bunks to read them a story.

“You’ll say yes, you’ll see!” he called with a soft smile, before he turned and made his way back to his bunk.

After that, he didn’t let up. He asked almost every day until you finally caved and said yes. From that moment on, you two inseparable (after you both finished your daily chores). You loved to spend time reading to the children and he was more than happy to accompany you. The kids loved him anyway.

“What do you think about us having one?” Edgar asked one night as you two laid together after sex.

“Having one what?”

“Child?”

“Fuck no!”

“Shh,” he laughed softly, stroking your hair. “Why not?”

“You can’t be serious, babe. We live on a fucking train, the shittiest part of the train I might add, the world is frozen, the front end comes and randomly takes children whenever they please-”

“It won’t always be like this, plus, Curtis has a plan.”

“Oh? What plan is that?” you scoffed

Edgar had always been Curtis’ biggest supporter.

“Why don’t you believe in him?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in him, but I’m not willing to follow blindly behind him. Everyone else is, and I just don’t see a reason to,” you shrugged.

“Y/N-”

“You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. It’s not my fault that you don’t like the answer, baby.”

Curtis had always been the one thing that got in the way of your relationship with Edgar. Edgar would willingly follow Curtis, no matter what he said or what he did, and you weren’t buying into any of it. Sure, Curtis seemed nice enough and he was kind when he wanted to be, but there was also a silent anger to him. A silent anger that always seemed like it could go off at any time. 

Plus, it’s not exactly like he was thrilled when you and Edgar started seeing each other. Once again, a lot of the men weren’t, but everyone could see how happy you were. How well you and Edgar fit together. Curtis, on the other hand, rolled his eyes whenever he saw the two of you together. 

“Why don’t you come and help us tonight? You always have an idea-”

“No,” you laughed and Edgar scowled. “That’s your thing, not mine.”

“If you’d come, you’d see there’s nothing to hate about-”“I don’t hate Curtis!” you snapped softly and he rolled his eyes, “I just...something isn’t right there. You all just follow and believe everything that he says, and that’s not okay.”

“You always find a reason to doubt him and hes never given you a reason to.”

“And hes never given you a reason to trust him so much!”

“I’m not having another argument about this-”

“Good, because I’m tired of him somehow always becoming the center of our relationship.”

“Y/N-”

“You’re gonna be late. Go.”

You hated arguing so much with him about Curtis, but he didn’t know the things that you knew about him. Besides the fact that his eyes always lingered on you for far much longer than they should have, you knew about the things that Edgar was too young to remember. You knew what happened to his Mother, you knew what almost happened to Edgar, and you knew that Curtis would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

Besides, by the way he watched you like you were his prey, you knew he’d stop at nothing to get you. So, when it was finally time for the “great uprising” you begged Edgar to stay behind with you.

“We’ve spent too long planning and plotting for me to stay behind-”

“You can stay with me!” you sobbed and he shook his head.

“Trust me! Believe in me! I can do this!”

“Edgar-”

“We’ll have a future, children, space-”

“I just want you! Please-”

“I’ll come back to you and you’ll see. I promise you, it’ll be okay. I love you.”

That was the last time you saw him alive.

When word got back to you how he’d been killed, and who let it happen, something inside you snapped. You became violent, you lost all patience, you attacked anyone who got in your way as you started on your own journey to the front, and you led everyone who had stayed behind to the front of the train with you. By the time you got there, Wilford had been killed and Curtis was the new leader. Of course, no one noticed all of the changes in Curtis’ attitude, as if you all owed him your lives, because he’d apparently made your lives better. He made changes that made years of suffering finally seem like they had been worth something. 

Everyone except you.

“Curtis wants to see you,” one of the girls tells you as she approaches the bar. 

Sansa, who’s his regular girl. 

“Just give him time,” Nam repeats softly, filling your glass one last time. 

You roll your eyes and down your drink before you follow Sansa to the very front of the train.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been called to his bedroom. Hell, it isn’t even the 100th time. Not long after the battle ended and changes were made, Curtis Everette made it very well known to everyone on the train, that you are his absolute favorite. Not so much with his words, but with his actions. He’d made it seem as if it were out of honor for Edgar, but the way he watched you let you know that, that was bullshit. No, he never called you into his bed, but he also made sure to never let you get close to another man again.

He made sure you never had to work, you never wanted for anything, you always had fresh clothes waiting for you, and you had one of the best rooms on the train. 

“Edgar sacrificed his life so you could have a better one. It only makes sense that you have the best of everything,” he whispered the night that he’d helped you settle into your new room.

In return, you’ve made it known that you’ll always despise him.

“What?” you snap the second you step foot inside his room.

He looks at you with his bourbon shot eyes, and you scoff. He’s in one of his moods.

“You could be a little nicer to me, Y/N.”

“Everyone on this train is nice enough to you. Now, what do you want? What’s the point of giving me a room if you never actually let me stay in it.”

“What’s wrong with you today?” he sneers, pouring himself another drink.

“You’re still here and Edgar isn’t.”

“Edgar made his choice-”

“Edgar worshiped you and blindly followed you into battle, and you couldn’t give less of a shit about what happened to him.”

“That’s not true!”

You scoff and narrow your eyes at him, “then why do you call me here every fucking night?”

“I’ve never done anything-”

“I know you’re not drunk enough to lie to me,” you warn with a snarl.

No, technically Curtis has never done anything to you, but hes found ways to...mess with you. 

He’s had you stay in the rooms while hes fooled around with other women, sometimes multiple at once, if he gets drunk enough, he watches you bathe and get dressed, hes gone out of his way to show you just how badly he wants you, and he never lets you stay away from him for too long. No, he’s never forced himself on you and taken you, but hes always been just a few steps away from doing so.

With Edgar out of the way, he’s free to do whatever he pleases.

However, the problem is, Curtis wants you to want him. He wants you to burn for him just as bad as he burns for you. At one point, that would’ve been possible. It was never that you found him unattractive or unapproachable, something just always seemed...off. Now that, that’s been confirmed, you’re repulsed by the man.

Even if you do still find him painfully attractive.

A sick smirk comes to his face as he makes his way over to you, “I’ve never done anything that haven’t found yourself enjoying.” “Yes, because I love spending my nights watching fuck other women.”

“Could be you.”

“You can let go of that dream. If it never happened before, it sure as fuck isn’t gonna happen now.”

Without warning, he’s gripping your neck tight and forcing you against the wall, and you do your best to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach.

“You can pretend all you want to, but I know how bad you want it. I hear you at night when you think I’m asleep. The pathetic little moans and whimpers, and your desperate begging.”

Your eyes go wide and he chuckles darkly.

“You’re not as slick as you think, honey.”

“It’s not for you, so don’t go getting a big ego.” “It sure as shit isn’t for Edgar, even when you were fucking him regularly. He could never truly satisfy you. Not in the way you needed.” “You’re a bastard!”

“How many times did you picture me every time he fucked you, hmm? How many times do you picture me when you’re alone in that cozy little room of yours?”

You don’t know what the hell has gotten into him, because he’s never been this forceful with you before.

“Never!”

“You should be thanking me,” he growls, his grip on your neck getting tighter as he leans in close. “Maybe I should stop being so fucking nice to you and just take it.” “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“What will you do, huh? The only crying you’ll be doing is when I’m done with you and you’re begging for more of my cock.”

Of all the fucking times to be turned on.

“Curtis-”

“You fucking want it,” he continues, “even now, I know that little pussy is crying to be touched. To fucked until it’s ruined!”

You push him off of you and glare at him.

“Admit it! You orchestrated all of this so you could-”

“He knew what he was getting himself into! He knew the chance he was taking-”

“He trusted you!”

“That was his fault!”

There it is.

“So you admit it!”

“I’d do it again! Why did he deserve you but I didn’t?! I still don’t?! After all I’ve done for you?!”

“You’re monster!”

“Sticks and stones,” he smirks before pressing you against the wall again. “Maybe I should show you just how much of a monster I am.”

His lips are on yours and when you try to push him off of you, he doubles down on his efforts. Squeezing at the stitches in his other arm, he hisses in pain, dropping his glass and backs up for just a moment. He slaps you hard before going in for another kiss, but you’re quick to knee him in the groin.

“Bitch!”

You’re quick to run out and make your way to room, not sure of where else there is to hide, and before you can slide the door close, he’s pushing you in and slamming it shut behind him.

“Get out!”

“Get on the fucking bed!” “Curtis-”

“Fine, you want this to be rough? I can be as rough as you want me to be, baby,” he promises as he locks the door.

“HELP!”

“No one is going to go against me, no one is going to save you, and no one is gonna feel bad for you. Scream all you fucking want, they’ll know you’re just enjoying it,” he promises with a sinister smile.

Seeing no other way out of this, you rush him against the wall and just start hitting him with all the power you have in your body.

“I’ve never had to work for it,” he taunts, easily pushing you back. “Never had to make a bitch admit just how bad she wants me!”

“I hate you! I want nothing to do with you!”

“Is that what you’d tell yourself every time you’d make eye contact with me while he was fucking you? Looking down at me as he fucked up into you, telling you just how much he loves and adores you?” he counters, easily wrapping an arm around your waist, easily throwing you down on the bed. “When you knew I was getting off to your hushed moans? You didn’t want anything to do with me then either? You didn’t want me making you scream?”

You hate that he has a point because, to an extent, you did want one him at one point. You wanted him bad. It’s part of why you’d turn down Edgar so many times. No, you never had any intention of pursuing Curtis, but you were attracted to him. Far more than you were to Edgar, and you felt incredibly guilty about it. You would’ve been content to be alone, but Edgar never relented and you eventually found it cute.

Of course you knew what Curtis was doing whenever the two of you locked eyes, but you truly never thought he’d let Edgar get killed so he could get you. The worst part of it is, even now that you know the truth of it all, you still want Curtis. In some sick way, the fact that he did something so horrible just to have you all to himself drove you insane in the worst way. You aren’t losing the fight because he’s overpowering you, you’re losing the fight because you’re tired of fighting it.

“Don’t get quiet on me now,” he snickers as pulls his top off and throws it across the room. “Don’t tell me that you’re a filthy little liar,” he presses as he rips your top open.

“Leave me alone!” “No, I’m done waiting around,” he husks, pulling your bra down. “Fuck!”

“Curtis-”

“You’re gonna shut the fuck up and you’re gonna enjoy everything daddy has to offer you,” he warns before dipping down and enveloping his right breast in his mouth; lewdly licking and sucking on it in the most depraved way.

“O-oh! Curtis!”

It’s been so long since you’ve been touched by anyone else.

“That’s right,” he mumbles before nipping on your nipple, while his other hand works on undoing your jeans, “I know exactly what you need, you little bitch.”

Your breathing comes heavier as his hand makes its way down into your panties, finding your overstimulated bundle of nerves.

“You’re fucking soaked!”

“Stop-”

“Stop fucking fighting me!” he warns, his other hand making it’s way around your throat. “You fucking want it! You’ve always fucking wanted it!”

You’re not sobbing because he’s doing something wrong, you’re sobbing because he’s right. Edgar would probably be alive if you’d just kept saying no to him.

“That’s right, baby. Just let me take care of you,” he moans, easily sliding a finger into you.

“Curtis,” you moan, bucking your hips forward.

“So beautiful, baby,” he coos, finally giving your other nipple attention, “waited so fucking long!”

“Oh fuck!”

You do your best to block out all images of Edgar and every feeling of guilt you felt. For whatever reason, Curtis wasn’t letting you go tonight and you didn’t want him to.

“You can barely take two fingers,” he groans, adding another thick finger to your sopping cunt as you rake your nails across his back. “Gonna have to get you ready for me. God, these fucking tits!” he husks.

“Please!” you whimper, feeling both pleasure and pain at the way he’s pulling you apart, “don’t fucking stop!”

“We’re gonna be at this a while,” he promises with a smirk as he picks up his pace. 

He resumes his assault on your left nipple for just a bit longer, before he finally starts leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your body, pulling your pants down along the way. 

You’ve never had a guy go down on you before. Before you’d been put on the train, you’d only had sex twice and the both of you were inexperienced. When you were with Edgar, you two weren’t free to explore much. The most you’d been able to do was give him a blowjob, even that was uncomfortable.

“So fuckin’ pretty for me,” Curtis purrs against your pussy lips, “been waitin’ for me.”

The first lick is just a tease and you whine in protest, the second is right against your clit and whine his name as you dig your nails into his shoulders, and with the third he’s finally diving right in and claiming you as his own with his tongue.

“Oh God! Don’t fucking stop!” you beg pathetically, your legs starting to tremble as he massages your clit with his thumb. “Fuck!”

The sounds of his of his pornographic moans and roughness of his beard on your thighs somehow make you even more feral, and you can’t resist looking down. The sight of him buried between your legs has you biting on your bottom lip to keep from screaming. As if he can sense your feral gaze on him, you he looks up with a devilish glint in his ocean blue eyes, which have now darkened with twinges of desire and lust, as he starts fucking you faster with his tongue.

Your mouth hangs open and you’re right on the edge when he removes his tongue.

“What the fuck?!” you cry out and he chuckles darkly.

“I shouldn’t fucking let you cum at all,” he bites as he thrusts two fingers inside of you, causing you to buck your hips forward, “but I’m gonna get this tight little pussy ready for me,” he promises again.

The intrusion of a third finger has you throwing your head back in both pleasure and pain, and you try to push his hand away.

“None of that, fucking take it! Take it and then you’re gonna take my fucking cock,” he demands gruffly, applying more pressure to your clit with his thumb.

“Ngh- too much! Curtis please!”

“Then fucking cum! What, you don’t know how? Was it really that bad with him?” he taunts with a condescending chuckle.

You shouldn’t clench around his fingers the way you do at that.

“Not such a fucking saint after all, huh? Just a hungry little cock whore. Say it,” he demands lowly.

Biting down on your lip to keep quiet, you shake your head ‘no’.

Slapping one of your tits hard, he repeats, “say it!”

“ ‘m a cock whore!” you cry out, squirting hard and coating his wrist.

That’s new.

“Jesus fuck,” he growls.

He fucks you through your high, lapping up the mess you made, while you try to come down from your high. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know how wrong all of this is, but you can’t focus on that right now. The pleasure is all consuming, and you can’t think on anything other than how much you want Curtis.

How, in some dark and twisted way, you’ve always wanted Curtis.

The sound of him unzipping his pants brings you back to reality, and you know you’re going to hate yourself in the morning. Hell, you hate yourself now. 

“Don’t ever make me fight this fucking hard for you again, you understand me?” he warns, kicking his jeans and boxers off of him and your bed.

You watch him with wide eyes and it’s as if he can read your mind.

“Don’t you dare try and fucking run from me now. You’re mine, you’ve always been mine, and you’ll always be mine.”

He takes his angry red cock in his hand, stoking it a few times, before dipping down and kissing you like you’d finally been returned to him after years of being held captive. The taste of you and whiskey mix together perfectly, intoxicating you, and you moan into his mouth, as both of your tongues fight for dominance.

“You are mine,” he broods once you two break apart as he spears himself inside of you.

“Shit!”

He lets out a strangled groan, “gonna make you feel better than you ever have before!”

He’s relentless as he fucks into you, knowing exactly what you need as you trail kisses down his neck. 

“Y/N,” he whines when you find that spot on the crook of his neck, biting down on it hard before using your tongue to soothe the pain. “Fuck! What a good girl,” he praises and you flutter around his cock. “My pretty girl likes that? Being my good fuckin girl?”

You’ve never been so full in your life and the only response you can muster is a pathetic moan, sucking even harder on his neck. 

“That’s right, baby. Mark me up...make sure they know I’m yours,” he growls, using one hand to pin your waist down, while the other pins your hands down to the bed above your head.

You don’t even care that he’s using you as his own personal rag doll, because you need it. You both need it. So many years of anger, frustration, and denial have finally come to a head, and it feels good.

It feels so fucking good.

“Oh God! Daddy!” you cry out, wrapping a leg around his waist as he finds a spot within you that you didn’t even know existed.

“Fuck, there it is!”

“Too much!”

“No it’s not, you’re gonna make a mess for me again,” he demands as his movements start to become erratic. 

The hand he’s using to pin your waist to the bed travels down between the both of you, and you let out a choked sob as he starts to massage your clit.

“So beautiful, baby. Love you so fucking much,” he grunts, and you’re not sure if he means you or your pussy.

Your mind is so full of fog that you truly don’t give a fuck.

You turn your head away as you feel the knot in your core tighten and he whines, “look at me...waited so long, let me see you, baby. C’mon...let daddy see you come apart.”

Forcing your gaze on him, there’s something equally soft in his feral blue eyes, and you know you’re done for. No matter what you feel in the morning, you’ll want this again and again.

You’ll want him again and again.

A silent scream leaves your mouth as your orgasm washes over you, the leg around his waist falling to the side as you make a mess between the both of you.

“That’s a good girl...milk my fat fuckin’ cock, baby,” he groans, resting his forehead against yours as he paints your inner walls with his love.

Well, you’ve fucking done it now. 

He peppers soft kisses from your forehead to your cheek, as he rides out both of your highs, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he finally releases your arms. When he finally stills within you, half hard, you let your arms fall to your sides and close your eyes, feeling more full and desired than ever before.

Feeling more guilt than you ever have before.

You’re almost asleep when you hear, “clean daddy off, honey. We’re just getting started.”

He chuckles when he looks down at the confused look on your face.

“I told you: we’re gonna be at this for a while.”

You’re not sure what the hell has gotten into him, and why he’s so forceful tonight, but he keeps you up for hours in positions you’ve never even dreamed of. Exhausting your body over and over again, his lips covering every inch of your body that they can, and his hands exploring every part of you. It feels like heaven, and there’s a pitiful shame that washes over you with each orgasm. You lose count of how many times he tells you he loves you, and how perfect he thinks you are for him, and soon you’re just a mindless doll ready and willing to do anything he wants. You’ll give him anything as long as he continues to lessen the embarrassment that’s come with you finally giving yourself to him.

“That’s it, baby,” he grunts from behind as you lull your head back, “ride daddy’s dick just like that. Like a fucking cowgirl!”

“Ngh!”

“I know you’re tired,” he coos against your neck, his beard making you shutter as he strarts groping your breasts with both hands, “gonna fill your perfect little pussy one more time, I promise!”

The thought of you leaking with his release again has you clenching around him.

“You love being so full of me, don’t you?”

You just nod as you grip his thick thighs, digging your nails into them.

“I know, baby. Just needed daddy to show you who’s boss, didn’t you? Too ashamed to accept what I was so willing to give you,” he moans, kissing your neck as one of his hands travels between your thighs.

“DADDY!”

“So loud for me and I fucking love it! You’d never be this fuckin’ loud for him, would you?”

You lazily shake your head ‘no’.

“Didn’t deserve you...he couldn’t make you happy like I can. Like I always will,” he promises as he slaps your cunt.

That’s all it takes. You scream his name as your body spasms and you make a mess for what feels like the millionth time. He pulls you close, filling you to the brim, as your body relaxes against his.

“What a good girl,” he praises softly, his own breathing shallow as he guides your waist to ride out both of your orgasms.

You’ve never been so exhausted in your life.

You honestly have no control over your body at this point, so Curtis has to guide you off of him and onto the bed. You flinch when you feel some sort of fabric between your legs, cleaning you up.

“I know you’re sensitive, just a few more moments, baby,” he coos.

Well, he’s certainly much happier now that you’re a useless and mindless mess.

You feel the bed dip from behind you as he gets in, pulling the cover over the both of you before pulling you close to him. The fight that’s left in you isn’t enough to kill an ant. Instead, you just relax against him as you drift off into unconsciousness, hoping that all of this is just a very strong dream crafted from loneliness and desire.  

The last thing you hear before you succumb to darkness is, “I love you.”

~~

“Y/N,” a soft voice calls as a pair of hands shake your gently.

You blink a few times, coming back to reality and trying to separate your dreams from reality.

“Y/N? Curtis wants to see you in his room.”

Curtis.

All of a sudden the pain in your face and body catapult you back into reality. Shame washes over you, as well as an intense amount of guilt, and you curl into yourself. God, how could you give into him? How could you get off to some of the cruel and lewd things he said? What the fuck is wrong with you?

“Y/N? Did you hear me? Curtis-”

“No,” you respond softly, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.

“He told me not to take ‘no’ for an answer,” the woman responds mournfully.

You say nothing, silently crying to yourself and wishing you were anywhere else. Wishing you could get away from your one true forbidden desire.

“Y/N, please,” the woman begs.

It’s not lost on you that she’ll more than likely have hell to pay, but you can’t face him. The more memories come flooding back, the more you want to the train to swallow you whole. To add insult to injury, arousal pools between your legs as desire takes over your body. What the hell came over the both of you last night, and why did you let it win? There was a time that you would’ve fought till the last breath in your body to keep Curtis off of you, but last night, you barely put up that much of a fight. You didn’t want to.

You hear your drawers open and what you assume are clothes landing on your bed, and you just pull the cover over your head. He got what he wanted out of you, so why can’t he leave you alone? What else could he want from you?

‘I love you.’

There’s no possible way he could’ve meant that. He was drunk. He treats every other woman on this train like his own personal pleasure toy, so what makes you any different? So special?

“What did I tell you last night about making me fight for you?”Curtis sighs as he walks into your room, closing the door shut behind him.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t even heard the woman leave.

  When you say nothing, he pulls the cover from you, “come on, Y/N. Don’t make me get forceful.”

You just pull your legs tighter to yourself and cry harder.

“What?”

“Please...just go away.”

“Y/N-” “You did it on purpose, Curtis. He loved you and you just...”

“You didn’t seem to mind that confession so much last night.”

“Which makes me just as awful as you if not worse,” you sob, once again realizing just how terrible you are. 

Edgar loved you unconditionally and you let the man responsible for his death fuck you like a beast, willingly giving him orgasm after orgasm.

“Honey,” Curtis tries to reason, going to touch your arm, but you pull away.

It’s insane how you can long for and hate someone’s touch so much at the same time.

Letting out another frustrated sigh, he pulls the cover back over your body and steps away, “fine.”

You can hear the pain in his voice, but he should feel like garbage. You both should. The sliding door to your room opens and closes again, and you’re finally on your own again. As you continue to cry, you if you’ll ever know peace again. If you aren’t, how long will it take you to allow yourself the comfort of Curtis?

Curtis’ P.O.V.

What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s not the first time I’ve gotten drunk and tormented you, but to attack you like that? Confess the truth in such a condescending way? Of course you want nothing to do with me now that the fog has cleared. Yes, what I did was fucked up, but I’ve been right about you since day one.

You wanted me all along.

It’s not like I didn’t care for Edgar, and he deserved more from me, but he didn’t deserve you. Watching him with you was like a knife to the chest every day. Hearing your moans and whimpers every night that he was inside you? Those were mine. They were for me. That’s why you always kept your eyes focused on me. You knew it just as well as I did. Maybe you’re the real monster in all of this, because you used him just as much as I envied him. 

You weren’t happy, you were never going to leave him, so I took charge. I didn’t expect for any of it to work out like it did, but it did nonetheless. I figured if I gave you enough time and space, you’d come to me, but my patience could only last so long. Venting to Nam night after night only helped so much. 

Two fucking years.

Two years of me watching you, two years of me making every other man on board afraid to get close to you, two years of me being a lesser version of myself...two years and you still never cracked. I have a fucking train to take care of, I couldn’t keep spending all of my time and energy just trying make you jealous enough to give him.

I was all set to let it go and let you do whatever the hell you wanted, until I walked past your train cart yesterday morning.

“Fuck Curtis...fuck me just like that,” you whimpered so softly, I thought I imagined it.

Looking into your room made me cum instantly. You were completely naked, eyes closed, head lulled back, and riding your pillow. You’d never looked so fucking hot before, and that was my name leaving your mouth. Not Edgar’s, mine. I no longer needed you to fucking say you were mine, but you’d just confirmed it.

“Gonna cum so soon, daddy! Fuck!”

I couldn’t get it out of my mind, and my frustration wouldn’t leave my body. Why the hell were you fighting something you so desperately wanted? 

Because you’re not a monster at all.

Even without my confession, you’d always known the truth. I could’ve saved Edgar, but I didn’t. I made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t, and everyone believed them. Everyone except you. Of course you wouldn’t allow yourself to be with me. Not without force. So, after I finished up everything I needed to take care, I got drunk. I had planned on being level headed, but you came in with that fucking attitude, and I fucking lost it.

How the hell were you annoyed with me? I made sure you had the best life, and you were still ungrateful. Once again, I could’ve saved Edgar, but you wouldn’t have left him. You would’ve married him and had his fucking his kids, and what right did he have to you? What right do any of the guys on this hell hole have to you? None of them will ever love you like I do, they’re not gonna satisfy you like I do, and they’re never gonna care for you like I do.

You just needed to be shown, so I decided that I was done waiting. I knew you’d put up a fight, but I didn’t expect it to get me so worked up. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard, but you were being difficult. Squeezing the stitches in my arm? You knew better than that. It wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped, but when you finally surrendered, it was more than worth it. You were a fucking dream, better than anything I’d ever had or imagined.

How could I feel bad about Edgar when I finally had you right where I wanted you? Where I’d always wanted you. I didn’t have to say all of things I did, but we both knew they were true. You’d always wanted me, he’d never truly satisfied you, and you’d always wanted me. Whatever your reasons were for choosing him over me didn’t matter anymore, because you finally admitted everything. Yeah, it bothered me that you never said ‘I love you’ back, but I also know I can’t have everything I want at once. I know you do, and when you’re ready, you’ll admit that too. 

“She’s not here,” Nam says softly, pulling me out of my thoughts as he enters.

“No, she’s back to hating me,” I mutter with an eye roll. “I did everything wrong.”

“Did you explain?”

“Nope, I did the exact opposite. I took what I wanted and expected her to fall in line.”

He lets out an irritated sigh as he runs a hand through his hair, “Curtis.”

“Yeah, I fucking know, alright?”

“What now?”

“I’ll go back and see her tonight. I’ll talk to her. She loves me, she just needs some encouragement to see it. To admit it.”

“Be gentle, Curtis. You get angry and you don’t think.”

He’s not wrong.

“Did you hurt her?”

“We both hurt each other, but it’s not like she didn’t like it.”

“Is that what happened to your arm?” he asks, pointing to the bruise.

I scoff with a nod, “yeah, little devil.”

“She’s tough, I’ll give her that,” he laughs, taking Kronole out of his pocket.

“Will you stop with that shit?!”

“You beat women, I get high,” he shrugs.

“I don’t beat women,” I quickly counter, trying to keep a lid on my anger.

I really didn’t mean to hit you so fucking hard. Fuck.

He just rolls his eyes, “Should I send Yona to look after her?”

“No, we have work to do and we need Yona and her ability. I’ll send one of the girls to check on her and give her food.”

I know I should be the one to do it but with how you were this morning, I know we’re basically right back where we started.

“Curtis, should I send for Y/N again?” Sansa asks, poking her head in, disdain dripping into her words.

I can see the pain in her eyes, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad. She may be a regular, but she always knew she wasn’t permanent. All of them know. 

“I’ll see to her later. Make sure no one comes in except Yona,” I instruct dismissively.

“Yes sir.”

Yeah, I’m an asshole, but I’m an asshole who’s in love with and made better by you. The sooner you see that, the sooner things will be as they should. In time, you’ll see.

In time, you’ll understand.

~~

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Here, take mine,” a deep soft voice told you.

You looked over to your right to see that Curtis had taken a seat next to you, and he was holding out his protein block.

You shook your head and pushed it away, “oh no, it’s perfectly fine-”

“You’re hungry-”

“What will you eat?”

“I don’t like the way they taste,” he shrugged.

You laughed to yourself, “no one likes the way they taste.”

“Won’t haunt you like the taste of human flesh though.”

He had a point there.

“Go on, take it,” he offered again.

“You have to eat something. We’re all barely hanging on as it is.”

“Y/N-”

You offered him a half smile, “we can split it.”

He contemplated your offer before he nodded, “deal.”

You miss that Curtis. The one who showed remorse for his actions, cared about those around him, and was actually trying to help everyone and not just himself. Ever since Gilliam took him under his wing, there was an heir of arrogance to him, and it made you want him that much less. It got worse after Edgar got killed and Gilliam soon followed.

God, how could you still fuck him after his confession? If anything, that should’ve made you fight harder. Instead, in a sick way, it turned you on even more because it showed you just how much he wanted you. How much he’d do to make sure you’d always be his and his alone. 

Maybe being on the train for so damn long that it’s fucked with you more than you thought, or maybe you’re just that awful.

The servers have been trying to feed you all day, but the only thing you’ve consumed is alcohol. It’s the only thing that’ll keep demons and thoughts of self-hatred at bay. Plus, for as much as you shouldn’t, you do feel bad for Curtis. The man told you he loves you a handful of times last night, brought you to euphoric bliss time and time again, and you let him hold you close last night, just so you could ice him out today.

As much as you don’t want to believe that the mad man loves you, somewhere deep down inside, you know it’s true. A man doesn’t let the closest person he has to a best friend die over someone he doesn’t love. Yes, you knew Edgar could get on his nerves sometimes, but never enough for Curtis ever want something truly awful to happen to him. It’s not like you ever meant for things to become a sick and twisted games, but they had and the end result was the sweetest man you’d ever known getting killed.

All of this was your fault.

“You haven’t eaten today,” a soft voice rings out, stepping into your room.

“Please go, Curtis. You got what you wanted. Just go, I’m sure Sansa and the others will be happy to keep you company tonight.”

He sits down in front of you and takes your face in his hands, “I don’t love Sansa and the others.”

“Curtis-”

“Why have you been crying all day?”

You’re more than sure the look on your face screams, ‘really?’.

“It’s not like it was something you didn’t already know-”

“Stop being so fucking callous about it!”

“Why? I’d do it again, honey. I have no problem admitting that. If I had to do it all over again, I would without hesitation.”

“What the fuck is the matter with you?!”

“I love you, Y/N. I think I’ve made that pretty clear for some time now, and I’m not going to watch you be with some other man. I don’t give a fuck who that man is.”

“You can literally have whoever else you want-”

You yelp when he effortlessly picks you up and pulls you into his lap.

“The world could be the way it’s supposed to be and I still wouldn’t want anyone else. You were meant for me and I was meant for you. If people have to die for you to understand that, then so be it. I will never love anyone the way I love you, so stop thinking that this is just some fling to me,” he warns, his gaze on you tense and serious.

His words should make you afraid of him but, instead, they make you want him more than you did the night before.

“You don’t-”

“Who else do you want me to make disappear, hmm? How do I make you believe me?”

“Curtis...stop.”

“I love you.”

“That’s not love-”

“Why should I go about this the normal way? We’ve all had to fight to stay here, and I’m willing to fight for you. I will always fight for you because you’re mine, just like I’m yours. I love you.”

For now, you’ll just blame the alcohol as you lean in and kiss him softly. Just like the night before, he runs one of his hands through your hair and grips it tight as he deepens the kiss, his other arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you as close as possible.

He broods against your lips once you two break apart, “that’s right, baby. You’ll always be mine.”

“This isn’t right-” “Who gives a fuck about right and wrong when it feels this fucking good?”

“Curtis...”

“Just give into me,” he pleads before kissing you again, “give into me because you love me just as much as I love you.”

Once again, the fight leaves your body and you’re just giving into what you want. You kiss him deeply as your legs wrap around his waist, grinding against him. 

“That’s it honey,” he breathes with a moan, the tip of his nose ghosting over the outline of your cheek. “I won’t take anything you don’t wanna give me. Just like last night.”

You know good and damn well he’s saying that because last night he did force himself on you, but you both knew you were desperate for it. You both know you’ve been desperate for him for a while. It’s evident that he wants you to acknowledge that, but he’s gonna need to work a little harder for that. 

“If you truly love me, then show me,” you sigh as he bites and sucks on your neck. “Show me how much you need me to be yours.”

You must have awakened something feral in him because, instantly, he’s picking you up and standing up with almost no effort at all, and carrying you out of your room, quickly make his way towards his. Part of you wants to protest, because you’ve seen what he’s done with other women in his bed, but another part of you is desperate for it because it is his bed. Anyone else who was on it before you won’t ever matter again, because you’re all he needs.

He growls as he tosses you onto his bed, “take your fucking shirt off before I rip it off.”

You honestly don’t need much prompting. Between the amount of alcohol coursing through you, and the desire that you’ve been suppressing for years, you’re once again willing and ready to do anything that he wants. You whimper when he pulls his off and tosses it to the side, quickly getting to work on undoing his pants.

Yeah, you’re still sore from yesterday, but the pleasure always outweighs. You’ll take aspirin after.

“I thought I already fucking showed you,” he husks roughly, fitting your legs around his waist once on the bed and on his haunches. “I didn’t get my point across last night?”

You bite your lip and shake your head no, holding his gaze as you wrap your arms around him. 

He smirks as that devilish glint comes back to his eyes, “let me be firmer this time,” forcing you down on his cock.

“AH SHIT!”

He keeps a firm hold on your waist as he starts bouncing you up and down on his cock, “you’re mine, Y/N. Always have been and you always will be!”

You cry out as you lull your head back, “oh fuck, daddy!”

“Eyes on me, baby. Gonna make sure it sinks in this time,” he chuckles darkly.

Honestly, all you can do is hold on to him, and he doesn’t even make that easy. He spits on your cunt a few times before easily wrapping one arm behind your waist to keep you in place, and shamelessly slapping your clit with the other hand.

“Please....please!”

His condescending chuckle only makes you clench around him, “fucking pathetic.”

He dips down, the tip of his tongue lightly licking between your breasts and moaning as he licks up the sweat, before latching his mouth onto your right nipple and sucking on it as if it’s his favorite lollipop to exist.

You whimper, feeling safe in his strong hold, as you run a hand through his buzzed hair, “feels so good, daddy! The way you love me feels so good!”

Releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, he looks up with brooding dark eyes, “and no one else will ever make it feel this good,” he promises.

Without warning, he starts massaging your clit with more pressure than you’re prepared for, and you’re screaming out his name as you make a mess between the both of you.

“So messy and all mine,” he praises, his voice strained as continues to fuck up into you. “Always been all mine, haven’t you?”

Once again, you’ve been turned into a mindlessly babbling toy.

“No answer?” he taunts, his breathing as he stops all together, laughing sadistically at your pathetic whimper. “Guess daddy still hasn’t made his point clear.”

He drops you down onto the bed, flips you over with ease, fixes your knees so your ass is propped in the air, before thrusting himself inside of you again.

“Aht!”

“You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?” he growls, fucking into hard and fast.

You just whimper into his pillow as claw at his bed, but he isn’t having that. Wrapping one arm around your waist and snaking it up between your breasts, he grips your throat while the other hand grips your hair tight, and he pulls you right.

“Use your fucking words,” he demands gruffly, fucking into you harder, “you’ve always been mine?”

“Y-yes!”

“Yes who?”

“Y-yes...y-y-yes daddy!”

“Always gonna be mine?”

“A-an-anything you w-want!”

He growls into your neck as you feel him spill into you, “fuck baby!”

Once again, there’s nothing going through your mind but fog and your body is exhausted. If he wants more from you, you’ll give it to him, but you can honestly fall asleep in his hold right now. He loosens his grip on your neck, and you take a deep breath, not even realizing how tight he’d been holding onto you. Lazily fucking you both through your high, he presses small, wet, open mouthed kisses along your neck.

His breath comes heavy and he sounds just as tired as you feel, “get the message this time?”

You nod as weakly attempt to fight off sleep, “mhm, you love me.”

The next question comes with a hint of fear, “do you believe me?”

“Mhm, yes.”

“Do you love me?”

The answer comes effortlessly, “yes Curtis.”

He’s gentle with you as he pulls out, growling as he watches the mix of your juices run down your thighs, and he lays you down. Once again, you wince when some fabric gently wipes over your extremely raw and sensitive flesh, and he gently hushes you. This time, when he gets in bed with you, you’re pulling him close and resting your head on his chest.

You’re too tired to fight it.

“I love you,” you repeat before effortlessly falling asleep.

~~

Once again, when you make up, you need a moment to adjust to your surroundings. The soreness is quicker to make your acquaintance this time, and you remember that you’re in Curtis’ room.

The very front of the train.

That’s when you realize you’re alone in his bed, and you’re slow to sit up and look around.

“I’m here,” he calls softly.

You look to the side and see him sitting across the room, sweatpants on only, hunched over, and resting his head on his hands.

“You should lay back down, I’m sure you’re sore.”

You keep your eyes on him as you slowly lay back down, “what’s wrong?”

He’s not wrong about you being sore. 

“Nothing-”

Scoffing as you prop yourself up on your elbow and rest your head on your hand, “you’re gonna start lying to me after the last two days we’ve spent together?” and he laughs softly.

“It doesn’t matter right now-”

“Curtis, what’s wrong?”

There’s a softness to his features, and it’s a softness you haven’t seen in a long time.

“I love you.”

You look down and play with the hem of the bed sheet.

“That’s the problem right there.”

“Curtis-” He sighs as he sits up, “I’m not complaining.”

“It’s not so easy for me, okay?”

“It was last night when you were drunk, and I fucking knew better. I knew better, but my emotions...” “There’s a lot that I have to come to terms with, and I’ve only had two days to do it.”

“Well, do you?” “Curtis-”

“It’s a simple yes or no question-”

“It’s not simple! I was with Edgar, and no matter how I may or may not have always felt about you, I did love him and you let him get killed. No, I’m not innocent in all of this, but he loved and trusted him and you betrayed him.”

“That was different-” “How? How am I supposed to know you won’t ever do something like that to me?”

“Because this is different! This isn’t even remotely close...since I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were meant for me, and I for you. I may have been 17, but I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. I still haven’t been,” he states, slightly hurt that you would even make a claim like that. “I know what I did was fucked up, that’s not lost on either of us, and I’ve done my best to show and prove to you that I’m sorry, because it wasn’t right. Edgar didn’t know, but you did. You knew and you felt the same for me.”

“Curtis-”

“Well you did, you can deny it all you want, but we both know it’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter-” “Well, why you’d pick him?”

You scowl and lay on your back, “you don’t want the honest answer to that question.” “I can handle it.” “Lets not-”

“Just tell me!’

“I really don’t think I need to, Curtis! There’s something wrong with you! Something in you is unhinged and it shows!” you snap, sitting up and facing him.

He sits back and lets out a heavy sigh, and it breaks your heart, but he’s the one who wants to know so bad. 

When he says nothing, you continue, “there’s something that flips a switch in you, and this darkness comes over you. You’re moody, argumentative, and violent. Anything can set it off and, while I get it to an extent, enough shit had happened and I didn’t want to deal with it. You would be so soft with me at times, but you could easily lose your temper with anyone else...with the exception of Gilliam. Edgar was kind, funny, and sweet. No, it wasn’t ideal, but I felt safe with him and I didn’t have to worry about him losing his shit on me. So yes, I had feelings for you, but I chose him. I know you took him under your wing out of guilt, but you were also jealous. The more he trusted you, the more you took advantage of that. It made me resent him. Then, when he went off with you for the uprising, I knew he wasn’t coming back. You wouldn’t let him.”

You can see the anger in his eyes, but he knows that he can’t call you a liar. Everything you’re saying is true and he’s not about to try and make a fool out of you.

“I did it for you,” he responds after a moment. “You don’t have to believe it, and I know you didn’t see it, but I did it for you. I’ve always wanted to keep you safe, take care of you, and have you by my side. Everything I’ve done has been for you, and while some of it has been less than humane, I’d do it again if it meant you could be happy. If it means you can have a better life, I’ll do it, and I don’t care who I have to hurt.”

“Curtis-”

“I don’t care how crazy any of it sounds, because you have to be crazy to survive in this world. I’d do anything to give you a better life and see you happy. I love you, Y/N,” he tells you softly and sincerely.

You shouldn’t feel an overwhelming amount or love and joy for him, but that doesn’t stop it from washing over you. Is there a shrink on this fucking train, because you both need your fucking heads examined.

“I’ll ask you again, do you love me?”

Slipping out before you have a chance to stop it, “yes. Yes Curtis, I love you.”

Your heart swells at the small smile that comes to his face, as he finally gets up and makes his way back to the bed, and gets in next to you. You ignore the shameful amount of guilt that overcomes you, because what happened in the past can’t be changed. All that counts is right now and the future you and Curtis will create together. 

You rest your head on his chest and make little circles it, “how are you so sure, Curtis?”

“So sure of what?” he asks, stroking your shoulder and finally relaxing.

“That you love me. How do you know it’s not just an overwhelming sense of lust?”

He laughs to himself and kisses the top of your head, “because when all the fog in my mind settles, there’s still a burning desire for you in my heart. A burning desire to protect you, make you happy, hear your voice, see you smile, and to love you until there’s no breath left in my body. When the fog clears, there’s always a desire to love you with everything I have in me.”

Pressing a soft kiss to his chest, you look up at him, “I’m sorry it took me so long to finally get here.”

“You don’t have to say you’re sorry, just promise to never leave.”

“I promise.”

“I love you, honey.”

“I love you, Curtis.” 

[artandhijinks]

My experience with the worst most toxic parts of the IWTV fandom

Okay, there are going to be details here that are changed or admitted for obvious mostly safety reasons. And I personally don't care if you think I'm lying, but it was still a scary experience and I do think there are people in the fandom that need to be aware this crap goes on all over fictional characters. So warning they're going to be mentions of threats a violence, doxing, harassment, the works, It was bad.

Okay a few months ago. I kicked the hornets nest when it comes to the worst part of the interview with the vampire fandom. I had engaged in some fan discourse. Made a couple of posts. A lot of it had to do with defending the added diversity with the casting of Assad and Jacob. Theorizing about possible characters in the future that can be race swapped how it could be a good thing and how it could be historically possible. You get the idea. I love what the show is done with all the race swapping it has added so much to the story.

And then all the sudden I woke up to my inbox being full of over 100 anonymous ask that ranged from the average calling me evil racist. I didn't know the books. How dare I it was ruining the story. I should kill myself. The usual online internet harassment. It was horrible. And they kept on coming and would not stop until I shut off anonymous ask. And they will remain off because of this but again I had well over 100 messages to go through. And it took me well over a week to go through them but when I got to like the last I think 10 one of them stuck out. Not because it was particularly bad because apparently I pissed off the Armand people who don't realize how creepy it is and kind of comes off as pro pedophilia when all of you insist that he has to be 17 much less the racist issues. There's a reason it took me over a week to go through all the messages they made my skin crawl. But this particular message scared the crap out of me it was a death threat with my home address. Someone cared so much about a fictional character. They tracked down my address and threaten to kill me. So guess who immediately started screenshotting the rest of the messages. And had to make a police report. Do you know what it's like having to explain to cops? Yes, I got a death threat with my address over a fictional gay vampire. No, getting death threats over Tumblr is not new to me unfortunately, but my address was new and that I want documented. So being harassed by a couple racist book purists turned into a police report and me buying security cameras. Thank you Tumblr. I nearly deleted the app.

I don't even know if I want to finish the Vampire Chronicles books now because of you idiots you took it way too far. And the worst part is I'm white. I can only imagine what you idiots are doing to the fans of color. Again someone tracked down my address to threaten to kill me. But again it's documented. I filed a police report and if any of you idiots try something I got cameras now.

And for all those who are going to be demanding proof well I thought about sharing a redacted screenshot or maybe a redacted version of the police report. But I decided I would ask the cops what they thought just to be safe. I'm glad I did because they advised me not to do that and they explained to me there is technology out there that if someone really wanted to they can remove that redacting. And I already have one crazy person that knows my address and is threatening to kill me so I don't want another one. So everyone is just going to have to take my word for it. However the cops were all for me sharing my story because of the rise of things like swatting. A in a nearby police department had to deal with a middle schooler (so a 11 to 13-year-old) who made a bomb threat at their school because they didn't want to take a test. So, they think this would be good for people to hear because what you do on the internet does have real life consequences.

So remember people the internet is real life. These things have real life consequences. And I'm pretty sure these people thought it was a joke. But now I have to worry about things like someone breaking into my house killing me or swatting. Which is something I didn't even think of until the cops brought it up. And it does affect my real life. I'm looking to move and hopefully we'll be out of my house soon. So, thank you, Internet stranger

So to sum it all up. The fandom needs to take a bunch of chill pills and calm down. Because we are literally harassing, bullying and threatening people out of the fandom. Again, I thought about leaving Tumblr due to this experience and now I'm having to move. Thank you. Interview with the vampire fandom please do better.

[kikyan]

Yandere Scarabia Headcanons

TW/CW: Dark content up ahead!! Yandere specifically!! Themes will include yandere, possessiveness, violence towards reader, manipulation, mentions of stalking, and obsession! Proceed with caution!!

DISCLAIMER: These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY  be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision!

Banner made by @herestrish​ pls don’t steal!! Also huge thanks to my friend, Verizhe, for helping me with these headcanons and tbh for proofreading my other stuff they’re such a huge help! 

Kalim Al-Asim 

Luckily, I’m updating more and more so this blog doesn’t die. Okiedoki, time for Kalim headcanons! Kalim was always a character I liked and hated. Like I loved his bubbly personality but at the same time I just knew his over-positive and enthusiastic personality was going to be annoying to some. His personality is also the same when it comes to you and your relationship. That aside, his traits would be over-protective, clingy, possessive, and manipulative. 

To keep it really simple, all these traits revolve around one thing and one thing only, his bubbly personality. He’s easy to befriend as he’s actively there to educate you on his culture and their customs, always there to lend a helping hand and just overall keep the party going. Those puppy dog eyes that you just can’t say no to them. To say the least, he’s very clingy. His S/O is someone who he can get along with, which is almost everyone. Someone he can get behind and support their ideals and morals. Someone ‘good’, it’s a very bland description but it’s one that makes sense. He’s clingy because he loves to be around you! If he sees you around the hallway, expect him to forget everything just to run up and greet you. Sometimes even ditching his previous task just to help you with yours or just spend time. When having lunch, expect to see Kalim offering you a spot at his table or inviting himself to yours. If you happen to fail a subject that Kalim excels in, he’ll happily offer to tutor you! Same with if you both fail a subject, it’s okay because Jamil can tutor both of you! I often describe overly clingy people like gum stuck at the bottom of your shoe but it’s different with Kalim because you want to get rid of the gum. With Kalim, you just can’t bring yourself to turn him down. Bringing us to my next point! 

Manipulative. By no means do I want to infantilize Kalim because he’s 17. He knows what he’s doing. Using his bubbly personality, how could you ever turn him down? He’s a great housewarden! Kind, reliable, jump head-on in front of danger to protect you, etc. You get the picture, which is why Kalim would use his reputation to get you to be with him. It starts off small, inviting you out to dinner, a study session, etc. His puppy dog eyes and his please make it so hard to turn him down you feel like you HAVE to say yes. At first, it’s small and something you can easily get out of when needed. “Sorry, I have a club!” or “Sorry, I promised Grim I would help him study with the gang.” At first yeah, but at some point, Kalim started to fight back. “It’s okay, [Reader]. Maybe next time you won’t be so busy!” and “You’re always busy, I’m sorry to bother you.” It doesn’t sound too harmful, right? It’s not, but he says it in front of people. Rumors spread and murmurs get to you, “Rejecting Kalim again?” and “Poor Kalim, he must have spent all day planning this…”. It’s not just your attention he craves, he craves your attention and praise. He’ll buy you expensive jewelry and trinkets. At first, you accept because a small gift for helping him study isn’t too spontaneous. Then the gifts keep coming and their value keeps multiplying. Rejecting them doesn’t work because then Kalim gets sad. “Oh, you wanted something better? Why didn’t you say so! I’ll find something double, no triple its value! Of course, you’d never want something so basic!” He says it in such a cheerful tone that to everyone it’s just playful Kalim but that doesn’t stop the stares and glares you get from the other dorm members. They call you an ungrateful bitch and how you’re using Kalim. They may even intervene and tell Kalim that you’re just using him, but he’ll defend you to the end. 

“Can you believe it, [Reader]? Someone said you were using me for my gifts but that’s not true!” Quite frankly, in this case, you’d be painted as the villain. He’s very overprotective and possessive of you. After all, you’re his lovely S/O! He loves to spoil you and spend time with you, even if you want to or not. He of course loves you and wants you to have friends so I don’t think he’d isolate you, but he does want them to know you belong to him. What better way than marriage?! Don’t be surprised when Kalim asks for your hand in marriage, of course, it’ll wait till after graduation but regardless! He may enlist the help of Jamil, who has no other choice but to help him. Despite being against it, he goes with it. Thinking you could confide in him, he convinces you to go along. You have no magic and no understanding of how this world works. What if you can’t find a way back home? If that's the case, why not stay with Kalim? Not only do you get his name but untold riches! Way better than your life back home, no? Not to mention, you’re powerless here. Kalim and his family name can grant you protection. I doubt Crowley would let you live here at the dorms past your life here at NRC. Being with Kalim is like a dream come true! You’d be wise to accept. Jamil always did look at things on the more logical side, a solution that benefits both parties. Kalim gets you and you get his protection. You can expect him to stand up for you when things get rough. If anyone chooses to pick on you, he’s right there to defend you. 

On a scale, he’s a 5/10. I don’t think he’d harm you physically or do anything against you, but he’s such a manipulator. His words are soft and lovely. You melt like butter when he tells you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him. It’s true, under his love you’ll be protected and his love is so sugary sweet. Just like sugar, too much is bad for you and overbearing, his love is suffocating. You’ll live a lavish life at the cost of your privacy and your attention. Keep your eyes on him, yeah? 

Jamil Viper 

Alright, let’s get into this man’s life. Jamil. Dear lord, his traits are overprotective, possessive, manipulative, and obsessive. How did I reach that conclusion? Well, let’s dive into Jamil’s life. Honestly, he never interested me as much until we got to book 4, I genuinely believed him for a second with the whole Kalim situation but then I realized, shit. He got me. Jamil is a character to whom I want to introduce a new scale, one that I thought of using for a while but I guess never got to use it. Revealing that at the end! 

Okay so, I want to start off with a trait and then get my point across smoothly. So, starting off strong, Jamil is possessive. His possessiveness stems from his fear of losing you to someone better than him, like Kalim. In book 4 we’re introduced to Kalim’s and Jamil’s relationship. One of a master and a servant, as much as Kalim doesn’t treat Jamil like that, it doesn’t change the fact that that's how it is. Jamil was born into a servant family and Kalim into their masters. He has had to be their food tester, has had to prepare the food to avoid someone poising it, shit he probably has taken a bullet for him at some point. If not now, maybe in the future but that’s the way it is. He’s there to serve, granted he can also live a life of his own, but it’s not really living if he has to hold back to let Kalim live more comfortably. Jamil wants to show his abilities, he wants time in the spotlight that he has to, unfortunately, give up to Kalim. This is why I see him as possessive, his S/O is HIS. Just his, a little indulgence if you will. His little secret. Kalim can have any and everything, just not you. If Kalim ever were to take an interest in you, god forbid, Jamil would be quick to guide Kalim away. 

“No, you don’t want them! Your family is very high up, they won’t settle for [Reader]. It’s better to pick someone better, trust me Kalim.” Maybe even slander you? “[Reader] can’t cook, besides they’re an outsider. Your parents would never approve of someone so useless and mysterious.” He’d even try to get him into an arranged marriage so that he can’t get to you. Yeah, he’s that possessive. Which ties in with his obsession. However, you manage to catch his eye, he’s hooked. He is constantly observing you, gathering what information he can on you, and seeing what you like and dislike. He’s not stalking you as you may think, but the information he gathers on you is scary. If anything, it’s to be a better partner. He knows what you enjoy so you can talk about your hobbies and interests, he knows what meals you like so expect him to make them often. He knows what makes you tick, and how to get under your skin but he also knows what you support and seek in someone. He knows things about you that you’ve never revealed and he claims you’ve said before and just forgot. 

Manipulative. He can and will gaslight you. Try his hardest to make you see his side of the story. He’s not above using his ability to make you listen to him. He rather uses it as a last resort, but if he needs to, it’s there. Unlike Kalim, he will isolate. You start losing friends. He’ll end up taking too much of the time that eventually you start turning down invitations and start spending time with him. You’re slowly losing your friends and actively choosing to seek out Jamil now. That’s what he wants, while yes he played a part in it he managed to shift all blame to you. Yeah, he asked you out at first but now YOU’RE the one seeking him out. Not him. All is according to plan. Aside from isolating you, he’ll do what he can to make you keep your attention on him. Look at him. Speak to him only. Love him and nobody else. Stay with him forever. You start seeking him out and that’s when he knows he’s won. He’s so overprotective, constantly looking after you. He has a tight schedule that you follow, it’s for your benefit he says. Eventually, your life starts to be dictated by him. I want to say that after a while, he trusts you around Kalim. You can assist him in his duties and you can lighten his load. You can help him study, you can run errands, can watch over him, etc. At some point, he’ll let the power dynamic get to him and have you do impossible tasks. His relationship with Kalim is the same as yours, except he's the master and you’re the servant. He does love you, but he sometimes lets it slip. He just enjoys the roles being reversed for a bit. 

What's the scale change I want to make? It’s rope, chain, and saw. The rope is soft, their control over you is minimal and it’s usually held with rope. A knot that isn’t too secure but can come undone. The chain is a little bit stricter, there is a key to remove but it’s usually only given after you’ve made them happy for a while. The saw is that these crazy ass mfs took your leg babes, they sawed that bitch off!! Their control is so strong they clipped your wings, and you’re not leaving. So why is this relevant, well. . .I see Jamil using that as a last resort. We jumped a couple of chapters so let me start at the beginning. If you like Vocaloid, there is this song called ‘purgatory and the canary girl’, and honestly, that's how I see your relationship with Jamil. I feel like you’re a doll, a bird in a cage for his viewing pleasure only. You’re not something that he has to give to Kalim or the Asims. You’re his. His to control, his to enjoy, his to exploit, his to love, etc. This is something he can have. He hates being second. He hates having to give up his well-deserved spotlight because his status says he can’t have it. He hates it, he loathes it but it’s okay. He’s willing to give it all up, as long as he can keep you. So like a caged bird, he’s not letting you see anyone. You’re not interacting with anyone aside from him and the people he lets near. If you escape him, yeah he’d probably be one of the few who are willing to look for permanent solutions to make you stay. So yes, he might cut your leg(s) off to ensure you don’t leave him. 

His scaling aside from the saw is a 9/10. Man is committed to doing anything as long as you gaze at him only. Would he take your eyes? Now I’m getting sidetracked but no because I see him as someone who still wants you to look at him. However, if the cage isn’t enough he’s willing to clip a few wings to get you to depend on and rely on him entirely. He’s dangerous because he’s not above certain limits, he’s fine with keeping you as you are. 

[gretavangroupie]

Vigilance (Chapter 17)

Word count: 21.7k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x OC

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut, talk of violence and abusive situations, violence, weapons, blood.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

JANUARY 2022

HER POV

Your alarm sounds right on time, pulling you from your dreamless sleep. Your eyes pop open as you quickly spin to your side to press snooze. As you roll back onto your back you let out a sigh, desperate for that extra five minutes. You feel the bed shift, and feel Jake’s hand reach for you under the comfort of the sheets. 

“Already?” he asks, voice still full of sleep.

You roll towards him as he opens his arms to you, pulling you into his chest. So much for those extra minutes.

“I have five–no four minutes. Shh…” you groan.

“What if you just…didn’t go…” he whines.

“I have to go…It’s the first day back after the holidays…shhhhh….” you plead.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to…” he continues.

You press a kiss to his neck and roll away from him, plucking your phone from the nightstand and turning off the impending alarm. Pulling yourself from the warmth of the sheets you make your way over to the tall dresser, pulling out the drawer of your things and digging through it to find the items you stashed there. 

You hear him groan from the bed as he stiffens his body to stretch his legs and arms before pulling himself from the bed. 

“Fine, I guess I’ll go start the coffee…” he says, stepping out of the room. 

—

Stepping out of the bathroom, you have a fluffy towel wrapped around your body, and the warm mug that was kindly left for you on the bathroom counter, in hand. Jake is sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed and ready for the day, down to his boots. 

“Big plans today?” you ask, grabbing your work clothes from your packed overnight bag. 

“Told Sam I would go help him with some things at his place, which I am sure will rope me into about ten other projects, but I also need to run down to the music store and pick up a few things. Other than that, not so much.” he answers, watching you dress. 

“Oh, tell him I said hi. I haven’t talked to him since…like, Christmas. Oh I wonder if I will get my new assignment today…” you say, thoughts bouncing around in your head.

“I will tell him. If you do get it, and it’s not us, call me.” he says sternly.

“Oh, yes sir…” you say facetiously.

“Be careful…” he says, raising an eyebrow to you. 

You finish buckling the strap on your heels, and stand up, smoothing out your skirt. “Okay, well, I’ll call you later?” you say, grabbing your multitude of bags and taking the last sip of your coffee.

“Would be sad if you didn’t.” he replies, standing to walk you out to the door. 

You stop in the doorway, turning to give him a quick peck as you rush by, “Love you.”

“Love you too, have a good day today.” he answers, opening the front door to let you out. 

—

Pulling into the parking lot you glance at the clock. 7:53. Perfect. The parking lot is full, and people are making their way to the front door as you step out of your car. Grabbing your coffee, and your laptop bag you stagger behind a group of people, just shy of catching the door. 

You pull your keycard from your laptop bag and hold it to the card reader. Blinking red? Huh.

You try it again. Same thing. What the hell? Someone you don’t recognize walks up behind you, seeing you struggle to unlock the doors with all of the things in your hands. 

“Hey, sorry my card isn't working for some reason.” you say, stepping to the side. 

“Oh, uh, they have been a little wonky since the holidays. Let me try mine.” he says, tapping his to the pad, and seeing it light up green. 

“We’re in!” he laughs, holding the door for you.

“Thanks, I will have to see what’s up with mine.” you laugh. 

You make your way up the elevator and to your desk, depositing your things onto the fresh workspace. You hung your purse on the hook, and sat down in your chair before opening your computer. 

You spent a lot of the morning sending over the revisions for the Strange Horizons expense documents, now that all the receipts had been provided, and as you hit send an email pinged into your inbox with an undeliverable message. Before you had a chance to click on it, your desk phone rang. 

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey Y/N! It’s Allison, how are you this morning?” she asked.

“Hey, I’m good…Just trying to get settled back in.” you replied.

“Y/N, I’m going to need you to meet me in the boardroom in half an hour, okay?” she asks.

“Sure, no problem! Do I need to bring anything?” you ask.

“No, that won't be necessary. I’ll see you then.” she says, hanging up her phone.

Huh. That was… strange. 

You tried to busy yourself over the next thirty minutes but your mind was racing at the abruptness of this meeting, since you didn’t see it on the calendar for the day. You felt your hands start to grow clammy and your stomach start to swirl as the time dragged closer to 1:00.

As you pulled the door open to the board room you swallowed nervously, seeing the table filled with a few higher ups, and a few familiar faces, HR, Accounting, and Allison.

“Hi Y/N, thanks for coming in on such short notice.” Allison said. 

“Hi…” you said, voice shaky with nerves. 

“Just take a seat anywhere…” Allison said, tossing you a sorrowful look.

Your heart began to race as you realized that this wasn’t just a meeting your were attending, it was a meeting where you were the subject. 

“Hi Y/N, I’m Johnathan Myers, I am the head of HR here at Collective. I understand that you've been with us just shy of a year now.” he starts, and you nod your head in agreement. 

“I would just like to start out by saying that everyone that has worked with you has had nothing but positive things to say about you, your work ethic, and your dedication here at Collective. Unfortunately, something has come to light that makes my job a little bit difficult today.” he says, clicking the end of his pen. 

“We received a message a few weeks ago from someone that was working closely with the crew on your last assignment. She provided photo evidence that is directly in breach of the contract you signed with us.” he says, sliding you a manilla envelope full of photos and documents. 

You open the folder to find photos of you and Jake at various points during Strange Horizons. Times you thought you were alone. Times that look worse that they actually were. Times when things were far from innocent. 

“I see.” you say, closing the envelope. “If I may explain…” you plead.

“We will give you a chance to tell us everything, however, unfortunately based on the severity of the evidence provided not only from the photographer, but also the expense reports, the board has made the decision to let you go from Collective at this time.” he says.

You feel your heart drop into your stomach. “No, please if I could just explain…” you beg.

“I–I have known Jake, well, all of the Kiskza’s since we were children. We grew up together in Michigan. I watched their band start in their parents garage… Jake and I were in a relationship for quite some time while I was in college. I moved to Nashville and knew no one, I got a job here, and started working, realizing this was truly my passion. When Allison told me my first assignment was going to be going to work with them I panicked. I tried everything to get out of it. But it was unavoidable.” you pause, picking at your fingernails. 

“During the tour, Jake and I started talking again. Really I had no choice. After a few weeks things kind of picked up where they left off. I told him we couldn’t. I knew it was breaching my contract. Half of these photos that were taken were at times when we were hardly speaking to each other. They are telling a different story than what was actually happening, you have to believe me.” you beg.

“Y/N, this expense report from Austin, Texas shows a charge missing for crew lodging. Then again in Los Angeles, then again in Atlanta, Georgia. That combined with the photos, paints a very bad picture, you have to understand. While I am sure you never intended for this to happen this way, we have to take these kinds of things very seriously. Sadly, there is nothing further we can do for you at this point. We will be ending our professional relationship with you here today.” he says, finally. 

You feel the tears starting to well in your eyes. You knew it. You always knew. 

“I will say, however, that these young men care for you deeply. Josh called me himself to see if I would reconsider. Said that he has never had a better coordinator. The staff and crew we spoke to about this all said the same thing. It was never a question of whether you could do the job, Y/N. We just have these policies in place for a reason. We have to protect everyone involved. I’m very sorry that it turned out this way. We would be more than happy to give you any recommendations you may need.”

Josh knew? Did Jake know?

Taking one last look at the photos, you see a photo of you and Jake, standing in the rain arguing outside of that bar in Chicago. The night you both finally gave in. The night you decided he was worth any struggle you might face. Including this one. You closed the folder and slid it into the center of the meeting table. 

“Thank you so much for the opportunity. I completely understand the position you’re in and I want to thank you for hearing me out.” you say, turning on your heels to walk out the large wooden door. 

Collecting your items from your desk you leave your key card and your work computer, making sure to grab your tiny plant as you throw your purse over your shoulder. You are fighting back the tears threatening to spill over as you make a dash to your car. You open the back door, and throw all the items inside, not even caring where they land. 

You climb into the driver's seat and as the door shuts the tears begin to flow. A sob leaves your chest as the emotions seep out of every pore. Everything you worked for, gone with the snap of a finger. 

You rest your head on your steering wheel as you continue to cry, not a single thought in your head other than failure. You pull your phone from your purse with shaky hands as you press the icon to call Jake. You place the call on speakerphone, letting the shiny black device rest on your leg. 

You try to sniffle up the tears as the call rings out, but when you’re met with his voicemail you begin to cry harder. 

You toss your phone into the passenger seat, and start your car, knowing the only place you want to go is straight to Jake. You don’t even know if he’s home, but your brain is on autopilot, guiding you to your place of comfort. 

You blink away the tears as you merge onto the interstate, forced breaths still spilling from your chest. How am I going to afford my rent? How am I going to pay any of my bills? I’m going to have to leave Nashville.

Another round of sobs leaves your chest at the thought of losing everything, everyone, that you’ve held close. 

A few minutes later you are throwing your car into park as you head straight for his front door. It’s locked. You key in the lock combination and it unlocks, a chime filling the house as you enter. 

“Jake?” you cry out, voice still shaking with tears. 

You drop your things at the door and frantically search for him, “Jake, hello?” 

JAKE POV

“Y/N?” you ask, stepping out of your closet, with a wet towel in your hands. 

What is she doing here?

“Baby? What are you doing here? Oh my god, what’s wrong?” you ask, seeing her tear streaked face. You drop the towel to the ground and rush over to her.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” you ask, cupping her face in your hands. 

“I tried to… call you…” she says through sniffles.

“Oh no, I was in the shower, I’m sorry… I…” you stammer. 

“Jake…They fired me.” she says, a whimper leaving her throat.

“What? Baby, why?” you ask, shock overtaking your body.

“Because of you! Because of the pictures! Summer she… showed them, she sent them everything–” she rambles, too many thoughts trying to escape at once. 

“What?! Summer? No! They can't do that, that's bullshit! No, they don’t even know, they–” you stammer, fury filling your mind.

“No Jake! They can and they did! I signed the contract. I breached it. I’m done. I’m fired. There’s nothing I can do. I tried to explain. They didn’t care, Jake!”

“No! I’ll call them right now. I–I’ll tell them it was me. It was all me and that you didn’t… I–I….” you trail off, dragging your hands across your face. 

“This was what I was always afraid of Jake! This is exactly it. This is what you said wouldn’t happen. You wouldn’t let this happen! It happened!” she cries.

Oh fuck…

“Y/N, please, I… I didn’t think–” you start.

“Exactly! We didn’t think! I fucked up! I shouldn’t have done this. We should have waited! My career is over Jake! I am going to be blacklisted from every agency from here to LA! Do you get that? Everything I worked for is gone!” she yelled, guilt filling your body.

“I have no job! I have no way to pay my rent. Oh my god, I’m gonna have to move home…” she says, shock and realization hitting her all at once. 

“Fuck! No! Absolutely not. You aren’t leaving. You can't! I’ll pay your rent. I’ll pay your bills, I… I don't care. You know that!”

“I can’t let you do that Jake! I have no idea how long it's going to take me to find another job! If I can find another job! I’m not your burden!” she yells.

You pace the room with your fingers on your chin, “Okay, then you can…You can stay here.” you plead. “This house is plenty big enough. It doesn’t feel like home when you’re not here anyways.”

“Plus I… want you here. All the time. You know that. I hate when you’re not here.” you beg. 

“Jake, you don’t really want that. I thought you needed space and alone time and–” she starts.

“It’s the only thing I’ve wanted since I was sixteen years old!” you interrupt. “Remember what I used to say? I wanted an old house, with old furniture? The part I never told you was that you were there too. Living in the old house with me.” you say, grabbing her arms. 

“I wanna wake up to you in my bed every single day. I wanna make breakfast with you and talk about our days. Come back at the end of the night and drink wine on the living room floor...All of it. I want it with you.” you say, looking into her bloodshot eyes, starting to well with tears once again.

“You take up every ounce of space in my head...and in my heart...I learned the hard way that it’s never gonna be anyone else. It’s always going to be you. So I’m fighting this time. I didn’t fight for you last time. But now I am. I’m not letting you slip away from me again.” you say, pulling her close to you. 

“I don’t know Jake. This is… so much…I just… need some time. I need to think…I don’t even know what I want right now.” she says, pulling away from you. 

You feel your heart drop as she steps over to the window. 

“I just can’t lose you again.” you say. 

“I’m scared Jake. I just lost my job. My entire life is up in the air now. Things with us were just starting to feel right… I don’t want to move in with you because you don’t want me to leave you again. I want to move in with you because you love me and want to keep moving forward in this relationship. You know? I don’t want it to be rushed. I don’t want to force something we weren’t ready for.” she asks.

“It’s not rushed! I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have known practically my whole life! I bought this house for us, before I ever even knew if I would see you again! I meant it when I said everything I have is yours. I want all of this to be ours. I need you here Y/N. Having you here these past few weeks only solidified that feeling. Do you… not feel the same?” you ask, hesitantly. 

“No, I…I do. I–I’m just scared. I’m mad. I’m angry at Summer. I’m angry at you. I don’t know what to do.” she says, a single tear leaking from her eye. 

“I know. I’m so so sorry baby. You have to believe me. I never thought this would happen. Just know I will do anything I can and you don’t have to decide right now…I will do anything to keep you here. Where you belong.” you say, swiping the tear from her eye.

“I think I just need to think. I need some time away from all of this… to figure out what to do…I don’t want to be mad at you Jake, but, I am. I’m hurt.” she says, pulling away.

“Okay, well…If you decide this isn’t what you want, and you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’ll let you go. I’ll respect that choice and I’ll move on. I don’t know how, but I will. I did it once. But just know if you’re in, I’m in for good.” you say. 

She turns to face you, eyes filled with sadness. “Please don’t make this harder…” she begs. 

“Tell me you’ll come back. Tell me you aren’t leaving for good…” you plead.

“I just need some space…” she breathes, gathering her things near the door. 

“Please, just tell me you love me one more time…just in case…” you beg. 

You watch her bottom lip quiver as she tries to force the words out, “I love you, Jake.” she whispers, her eyes blinking out heavy tears. 

“Fuck, you’re killing me. Ripping my heart out and taking it with you Y/N. Please, please come back, okay?” you say, holding back your own tears. 

She looks at you one last time before slipping out the door. 

As it latches shut, you wonder if that will be the last time those words leave her lips.

—

As badly as she hurt you just now, and as badly as she’s torn up, you knew somewhere deep down that she would be back. She’s upset, she’s pissed, and she’s embarrassed. You knew her, knew she sometimes overreacted with her emotions and made big decisions when she was upset, a flaw that somehow was endearing to you. 

She needed time, and she needed space. And you knew it wouldn’t be long, you hoped. In the meantime, you felt as though you needed to let loose on someone. She wasn’t the only one filled with rage over the whole situation. 

You went back into your bedroom to find your phone, finding the correct contact for Collective. They deserved to hear your piece. 

You finally found the extension for HR, and spoke with a bit of fire in your tone. You told them the entire backstory, of which they said they understood, that Y/N had given those same details. You explained how your relationship had begun many many moons ago, and that your families were so close that you shared every holiday since you were kids. 

You begged them to reconsider, pleaded with them that it was your fault, but still ended up empty handed. Before the phone call ended, you suggested that even though you understood these rules were set for good reasons, that they should seriously consider restating them, or even adding a clause for special situations such as this. Because in all reality, it was completely unfair. 

Your next order of business was to take care of the Summer problem. You dialed up the number for the label, of which you knew by heart now. 

“Hey, this is Jake. I was wanting to speak with someone in HR, I need to file a formal complaint.”

SAM POV

You felt your phone buzzing in your pocket, trying to ignore it while you hashed out the notes for a new melody on your piano. Just let it ring, you told yourself. The buzzing continued and you finally gave in, pulling it out and seeing a familiar name. 

Y/N?

The buzzing stopped and your lock screen appeared as you collected your thoughts. You haven’t spoken in so long…what could she need?

When your mind came back to earth, you hit redial, letting the call ring back. 

“Hey, Sammy. Sorry if I bothered you…” she said, voice low and somber. 

“No no you aren’t bothering me. What’s up?” You replied. 

“I- um. Are you busy right now?” She asked. 

“Uh, no, not really. You ok?” You asked, feeling concerned. 

“Um, I’m not the best,” she breathed out through a fake laugh. “Would you want to…come over? For just a little bit. I could really…I need to just, talk. I guess.” She said. 

You paused for a long second, collecting your thoughts. She wouldn’t call unless she really needed you, right?

“Yeah, sure. I can be there in just a little bit.” You said, checking the time. “Are you not at Jake’s?”

“No, I’m at my apartment, actually.” She said, voice going low again. 

Oh. 

“Oh alright, ok I’ll be there soon.” You replied hanging up the phone, wondering why she would have gone back to her place, and hoping that there was nothing really wrong. 

—

Three little knocks.

You found yourself feeling out of place as you stood on the front porch of her apartment, waiting for her to answer the door. When you got her phone call, you were surprised to say the least. It’s been weeks, and you’ve barely said ten words to each other. On your own accord, of course. You knew it was upsetting her, and you’d stepped away for a good reason, but you’d definitely left her in the dark. 

You paced around awkwardly, fiddling with the pothos plant sitting on a shelf in the corner. Finally you heard the door lock click, and the doorknob twist. She opened the door just halfway, exposing only a portion of herself. She looked upset, downtrodden and exhausted, and you immediately felt the need to comfort her. 

“You know, this plant would do a ton better inside. It hates the direct sunlight…” you trailed off, still fiddling with the browning leaves. 

The huge smile that crossed her face was stark in contrast to the way her appearance was, but it was contagious. It always was. The saying ‘her smile could light up a room’ was completely true in her case, the way her eyes smiled before the rest of her face did. 

“Well, bring it in here, then.” She said as she opened the door wider, inviting you and her plant inside. 

You walked in, feeling like you were entering a place with no trespassing signs hanging all over the walls. It was bizarre, coming back into a home where you used to feel so comfortable and welcome, but now feeling like an alien on another planet. You brought the plant over to the kitchen sink and stuck it under the faucet. 

“Just a little bit of water, not too much or you’ll drown it.” You said as you turned on the faucet, letting the soil moisten. “Spray the leaves off a little bit too, they like to be able to breathe..” you placed the planter in the wide windowsill above the kitchen sink, gently pulling the long trailing vines of leaves up to rest along the counter. 

When you were satisfied with your work, you turned around to find her leaned with her back against the refrigerator, watching you intently with her head resting in her hand. Tears had filled her eyes, and her exhausted appearance found its way to her body again. 

“Thank you, Sammy.” She said sweetly. You felt your heart ache. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” You finally asked quietly. She wiped her eyes, trying to dry herself up, but to no avail. Her tears were falling harder now, her chest heaving with sobs. Damn, she really is upset. “Hey, babe, what is it? You can tell me…”

She slowly walked over, reaching her arms out to wrap you up in them, taking you in an embrace that you’d missed so, so terribly. Her face buried in your chest, her breathing on the skin of your neck…You lifted your arms to hug her back, letting yourself hold her for just a second, but then suddenly feeling the wild thoughts rushing through your mind again. Too close. 

You pulled away quickly, pulling her arms off of you with a little bit of force as you stepped back. The action surprised her, making the sadness on her face even more heart wrenching. It’s killing me too, babe.

“What the fuck Sam? I can’t even hug you anymore?” She sounded pissed. 

Here came the rage again. 

“No, fuck. You can’t Y/N. You can’t hug me like that anymore.” You spat. 

“WHY? Why can’t I?!” She yelled. 

“Because! It makes me feel a way that I’m not allowed to feel anymore, okay? Feeling you touch me again is just…” you let your words hang. 

She tilted her head back, exasperated, and walked quickly to the couch. “Come here. Sit down.” She demanded. You followed suit. 

She took a deep breath as she pulled her legs underneath her. “Did I…do something wrong, Sammy? We haven’t spoken in like a month…I just…don’t know…” you watched as her lip quivered, trying to fight back an emotion she used to let fall so freely with you. 

You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t come prepared to talk about this. Though, you’d walked right into it. The way she talked on the phone, you thought something else would be discussed right now. Beating around the bush would keep things light and professional, but your insides were being ripped apart from not being honest with your other half, and telling her every emotion you’ve been bottling up for way too long. 

You sighed, deciding to just go with your instinct. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N…” your words felt like they were on fire in your mouth, clawing their way out of your throat while you tried your best to extinguish them. 

“Then why are you ignoring me? Ever since Thanksgiving and after our…talk…that night on the floor, I thought we were going to be able to talk about our past like it was nothing, but…”

“Is that what it was to you, Y/N? Nothing?” You said flatly. Your heart felt like she’d ripped it out, and stomped all over it. 

She went silent, looking like you’d just slapped her across the face. 

“Of course it wasn’t nothing, Sam, god. It was…everything to me…while it was happening.” She bit back. 

“Then why did you call it nothing?” You asked, seeing if you could pull a little more from her before spilling your guts all over her couch. 

She stared at you with a confused admission, opening her mouth and closing it again over and over, trying to find the words. “I don’t know, Sam, I- Jake came back and…you know…things just, went…” 

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, they definitely went...” 

“What do you mean, Sam? We had a pretty clear agreement on everything, and how we were handling our situation…I don’t know why you’re so upset with me for sticking to it, not letting my feelings get involved.” Her voice was rising now, and she was talking with her hands. She barely ever talked with her hands, only when she was lying. 

You stopped her. “Wait, not letting your feelings get involved? I thought you didn’t have any feelings for me?” You pressed, leaving her completely silent. 

Her eyes closed, the realization of her words hitting her. She scooted closer to you on the couch, sitting crossed legged and facing you. She let her face fall into her hands as she tried to breathe. You felt your heart pumping hard in your chest, your ears going deaf. 

Finally, after a few seconds, she pulled up. She slowly grabbed your hands, taking them in hers. Her touch. It felt like electricity. 

“Sam, listen to me. I’m going to be completely honest with you, because you deserve nothing but the truth. You’re my best friend on the whole earth, and I can not live my life lying to you, ok?” She said through choppy breaths. Her hands were twisting themselves with yours. 

“Do you remember the night I woke up and found you playing piano, playing our song?” She asked quietly, the memory finding your brainwaves once again. You nodded. 

“Well, you told me you couldn’t sleep, because you were scared of the uncertainty of your future…and that completely broke me, Sam. It made me scared and nervous, for myself and for you…anyways, after we went back to bed, I didn’t sleep the rest of the night.” She admitted. You still felt confused, unsure of what she was saying. 

“Why not?” You whispered. 

“Because…because I- felt something new that night, for you, that I hadn’t ever felt…before, ever. A big, huge feeling…watching you sleep next to me.” She stammered. “I don’t know what the feeling was, it was so unexpected…but it scared the hell out of me, Sam. And I…still feel it, sometimes. Not recently, but. It comes and goes.” She became red in the face, completely embarrassed at her admission. You knew she felt guilty. 

“But I can’t feel it, Sam. I can’t. I can’t ever let it come back…” 

“Then why did you let it go away at all?” You asked quietly, tears filling your eyes, too. 

She shook her head. “You know why, Sammy.” The tears falling quickly now. 

You felt like your entire body was floating, her words dancing around in your mind, making you hate yourself and love yourself at the same time. 

She felt the same. Maybe not now, but she did. At some point in all of this, she was right where you are now. 

You decided to meet her energy. You took her hands even more tightly, clearing your throat. You suddenly felt a wave of comfort come over your body, and you felt prepared to share. 

“I lied to you, Y/N. I lied to you for a very long time.” You admitted with confidence. Her face turned from sadness to surprise, and her mouth hung open. 

“But I lied to myself, too. Listen. Our relationship, sex-ationship, whatever the hell that was, was one of the absolute best times in my life. My absolute favorite person in the world came back to me so unexpectedly, and we picked up right where we left off. Except, we allowed ourselves to feel a little more…seriously. Right? Act on the one thing we never got to experience together. We agreed that it was never anything more than just physical. And it wasn’t. For the longest time. I had suppressed all those old feelings for you, they were truly gone. Meanwhile, you and I made some of the most beautiful and mind-blowing love that I have ever experienced in my life, do you hear me? Whatever wild connection you and I have, it’s…” you paused, wanting to leave a little respect for Elle and Jake in the picture. “I sometimes wish that during our time together, I would have felt those feelings for you, because it would have made it that much more meaningful.” 

“Anyway, things changed. You got with Jake, Elle came back. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with her, Y/N, I hope you know that. And I can see you and Jake are the same. But, at Thanksgiving, when we laid on the floor and you told me all those things…how you wanted me to be your first, and how you used to think about me, it flipped some sort of stupid switch in me. Ever since that night, my feelings for you, the real ones, came flying back at me. And they’ve overtaken me, I’m driving myself insane, Y/N.” You felt tears coming as you struggled to find the right words. 

“I’ve fought the feelings for weeks, drinking myself silly, racking myself with guilt, I feel so…ugh I don’t even know the words. That’s why I’ve been so distant. But they are back. And I don’t know what to do with them. And I’m sorry. And it’s wrong, it’s so wrong, Y/N. If Jake or Elle ever knew… I…” you stopped and trailed off, feeling like you got most of it out. 

She sat and looked at you with the strangest expression. Proud, for your admission. Happy that you felt that way. But mostly guilt-stricken, because maybe she felt the same way, too. 

“We don’t need to talk about it, ok? We don’t need to discuss, or figure anything out. I feel like, maybe, you and I are just meant to be connected in some crazy, fucked up way, and the years are going to go on and the feelings will come back, and leave again but. I’m trying my best, right now. That’s why I asked Elle to move in. I’m ready to move on with her, she’s it for me. I don’t want to fuck anything up with her. I’m fucking crazy about her…” you trailed off as the proudest smile crept its way to her face, turning into a giggle. 

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, a smile finding your face, too. 

“I love watching you talk about her. I love watching you talk about your future with her. It makes me feel so happy that you’re in love...” She went on, her words filling you with pride and heartbreak at the same time. You’d just told Danny that you were in love with her, too. 

You laid your head back on her couch and huffed out a sigh. “This is so stupid, isn’t it?” You asked her, not really looking for an answer. 

“Yeah, it really is. But, I’m glad we got it out, the both of us. Even if it was hard. Maybe now we can put it behind us. We can’t tell another soul about this, ok?” She said, laying her hand on your knee. 

“Well, Daniel kinda knows…” you admitted, biting your lip. 

“Well, fuck. Ok, he can’t tell a soul, either. Got it?” She laughed. 

“You got it, babe.” 

You brought your hand to her face, moving in closely, an action that was risky given your conversation, but you didn’t want her to even think for one second you’d abandoned her. Never again. 

“Maybe we can find each other again, in another life, in another realm…maybe we already do exist together, somewhere else. That’s why we’re always so close, but so far away all the time. We’re connected elsewhere…” you said, brushing your thumb over her cheek. “I’m so sorry I’ve been acting like an ass. I’ve just really been struggling with this.”

She smiled into your hand. “I know. I’ve felt it in the past, too. But at least we can talk about it now and not feel ashamed. We’ve got to try and move on…it’s doing nothing but hurting us. I belong to Jake, no questions asked.” 

You took a deep breath and nodded. “And I’m Elle’s. We’ve gotta go grow up now, Y/N.”

It was quiet for a bit more while you sat in comfortable silence.

“Wait, why were you sad when I got here? Was something else going on?” You asked, suddenly remembering she answered the door crying. 

“Yeah, actually. That’s why I called you. I um, I got fired. From Collective.” She said defeatedly. 

Your mouth fell open. “What?! Are you joking? Because of Jake? There’s no way, that’s not right, we signed your paperwork… are you sure?”

“Yeah, they called me in for a meeting today. Told me they had photo evidence from Summer and there was nothing they could do. I breached my contract.” She said. 

“Did you explain to them? Did you tell them the situation? This isn’t happening…” you went on, feeling butterflies fluttering in your stomach. 

“I did, I tried. I couldn’t argue with them. They made me pack up and give them my key…I was so pissed, Sam. I knew this would happen. I fucking knew it. Now, I don’t have a job, I can’t pay my rent, my bills… I don’t know what I’m going to do. That’s why I’m here, Jake promised everything was going to be okay, and it’s not. I’m so upset with him, or toward him…I don’t know. I have to figure something else out, now. Everything is so fucked.” She went on, her body language falling again. 

“So wait, you left Jake’s house and came back here after you found out?” You asked, puzzled. “Why aren’t you still at his house?” 

“I had to leave, Sam. I couldn’t be around him. He said this wasn’t going to happen and it did! I lost my job because of us being together. I needed some space to think…” she said. 

You were stunned. “Wait, Y/N, it wasn’t his fault you got fired…you got mad at him because you got fired? That doesn’t make any sense…” you went on. “Honestly you shouldn’t need to think about anything at all, you two made this decision together…not just him.”  

She avoided eye contact. She knew you were right. 

“Hey, don’t be like that to him. Come on, he doesn’t deserve the blame. You’ve gotta see that, right?” You said, trying to be understanding. 

“He basically asked me to move in with him, Sam. Because I don’t have anywhere else to go except back to Michigan. If I move in with him, I want it to be on terms where I’m not desperate, and have no other choice. I want him to want me to live with him, not need to. Does that make sense?” She said. 

You thought for a second. “I mean I guess…don’t you already stay with him most nights anyway? And have a bunch of your stuff there? Hell, Y/N, you’re lying to yourself if you don’t notice all his hints that he wants you to live with him now, and has for a long time. Think about it...” You said, laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious, Sam. I need some time to think. That’s a very big move in a relationship…” she said, her attitude showing through. 

“Uh, ya think? I just asked Elle to move in with me…don’t you think I know exactly how big that feels? Why are you being like this?” You were starting to get irked with her. Jake didn’t deserve that. 

“Listen, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll…get over it soon, I guess. Just need some freaking time, ok? Today has just been a lot. I can’t believe I lost the career of my dreams.” She said. 

“Yeah, ya know what? I can’t let this happen.” You said, pulling your phone out to call Josh. 

He picked up after one ring. 

“Hey, we need to all meet at the office like, stat. Can you make that happen? I’m already on my way. All four of us, yeah. Yeah. Okay, see you in a few.”

You hung up and stood up, ready to head to the office. 

“I’m gonna figure this out, Y/N. There’s no way they can do this. We contracted you already. And photo evidence? Of what?” You went on. 

“Sam, stop. You don’t have to figure anything out. It’s a done deal, there’s nothing anyone can do. I’m going to have to leave.” She said. 

“Oh no you’re not. You don’t have to go anywhere. You need to go home to Jake, and apologize for freaking out on him for no reason. We’re figuring this out.” You said. 

She stood up beside you, ready to stop you from going out the door. You put your hand to her shoulder. 

“Babe, let me fight for you. One more time, please. Let me try to help.” You pleaded. 

Her arms fell to her sides in defeat as she let you go. 

“Ugh okay, go.” She motioned toward the door. “Thank you for coming over Sammy. I’m really glad we talked finally. And thanks for calling me out on my pettiness.” She said, walking toward her front door. “I’ll go back to him, I just need some time to think. Figure some shit out. And I promise, you really don’t have to fight this hard for me.”

“We need you with us more than you think.” You said, sending her a wink. You turned around on the porch as she stood in the doorway watching you go. “You’re still my best girl, remember?”  

Josh’s words from Thanksgiving replayed in your head. 

‘Did you ever fight for them? Did you ever go to bat for them? No, you didn’t.’

So this was your time. You had to find a way to fix it. 

——

You hopped back in your car and pulled out your  phone as you backed out of the parking lot, bringing up Elle’s contact as it connected to the Bluetooth. 

“Hey babe, what’s up?” She answered. 

“Hey, I’ve gotta go to the office for a while, we’ve gotta have a meeting. Y/N just got fired.” You said. 

“Oh my god, what?! You’re kidding! Why?” She yelled. 

“Apparently Summer was taking photos of her and Jake, and she turned them into Collective. I don’t know much else, but I will probably be home late. She’s threatening to move back home.” You said, thinking about running a stoplight. 

“Shit. Should I go over to her apartment?” She asked. 

“Might not be a bad idea, babe. Be careful, I’ll talk to you tonight.” You said. 

“Okay, love you.” 

“Love you more.”

—

A few minutes later, you pulled into the office, and rushed through the double doors to the meeting room, finding Josh and Danny had beaten you there. 

“What the fuck is going on? Y/N got fired!” You screamed, yanking a chair out from the table and sitting down. 

They were both quietly sitting, nodding their heads. 

“Hello, did you hear me? Collective fired her today…” you said, slapping your hands on the table. 

“Yeah Sam, we know.” Daniel said. 

You were shocked. “What do you mean you know? Both of you knew?” You asked. They nodded. 

“For how long?! Did you know it was going to happen before she did?” You yelled. 

Danny glanced to Josh. 

“I knew, they called me a few days ago.” He admitted, hanging his head. 

“What the fuck Josh! And you didn’t think to tell us? Tell her, warn her?” You were getting more mad by the second. 

Just then, the doors opened again as Jake came in, turning and locking the doors behind him. He bounded into the meeting room, his body language feeling bigger than normal. 

He took a seat, picked up a pen from the table and began clicking it. “Y/N got fired today.” He said blankly. 

“Yeah, we fuckin’ know. And guess who else knows? Josh! And Daniel! Go ahead Josh, tell him how long you’ve known!” You motioned towards him. Jake’s face fell, and turned into something morbid. He spun in his chair, fully facing his twin. Josh wasn’t scared of Jake, and vice versa, but sometimes you could tell when they feared each other, simply because of them feeling the other’s emotions so strongly. 

Josh shook his head, running his hand through his curls. “Fuck. They called me a couple days ago. Told me they needed to let her go because she breached her contract, all that bullshit. I asked them how they had knowledge, and they said that they received photo evidence from our photographer… I guess you guys weren’t as secretive as you thought you were. They also went back and said they had proof she wasn’t staying in assigned crew lodging. Anyways, I tried everything, I swear I did. Called straight to the head of HR, told them no one did the job better than her, that it didn’t make sense to fire her. I also told them your situation was a bit more serious than just fraternizing.”

You watched as Jake stared at Josh in disbelief for a few seconds before turning his swivel chair back around to face the table. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Josh.” Jake said quietly, you could tell he was disappointed. 

“I was going to, Jake. I swear I was. I was just trying to figure out how.” Josh said, sincerity in his voice. 

Suddenly, you noticed something on Daniel’s face. He looked swollen? “Daniel, what the fuck happened to your lip?” You asked, interrupting the conversation. 

Daniel removed his folded hands from covering his face, scooting his chair to the table. He cleared his throat. “Well Sam, that’s why Josh and I didn’t get to tell you immediately about Y/N. Josh asked me to dinner to talk about how to tell you all, and I kind of…” Danny stopped, looking to Josh. 

“Daniel got into an altercation. With Andy.” Josh said flatly. 

You and Jake simultaneously fell back into your chairs, completely shocked by that statement. 

“WHAT?” Jake yelled, not holding back any of his rage at this point. “With Andy? A fight. You got into a fight with him. Where?” Jake began to stand up. 

“Josh and I were in a restaurant on the other side of town, trying to figure out how the hell we were going to tell you about Y/N when I saw Andy walk by. I got up immediately, ran after him. He got away from me, even as I was chasing him down. He rounded a corner and went down an alley. We cornered him, asked him why the hell he was here, what he wanted. Told him we knew he’d been following us, following her.” Danny explained. 

“Yeah, he said some fucked up shit. Guess Danny let him get the best of him. He knew a bunch of other shit, too, like personal things about Daniel. They ended up having it out on the concrete. We told him he needed to stay away from her, from all of us or else we were going to move to more drastic measures.” Josh went on. “Jake, I honestly think now might be the time for those drastic measures.” Josh bit his thumbnail. 

You could feel the same rage that Jake was feeling, boiling up in the pit of your stomach. How long had he been back? Why didn’t they tell you? What else did he know? 

“So you’re telling me you’ve both known he’s been back for more than 24 hours, and neither of you thought to text Sam and I 911? The thing we all agreed on, if we ever saw him again?” Jake was staying as calm as possible, but his voice was beginning to become louder, laced with venom. 

“Did the both of you forget that he could get to her at any given moment if I’m not there? Hell, or Elle? The one thing I asked of everybody…” he was yelling now. “I can’t fucking believe this shit!” He was pacing around the room, you could feel his nerves radiating off his body. 

“And now I won’t even be there to protect her, since she’s fired. I won’t even know where she is half the time!” He yelled, throwing his hands above his head. 

“Jake, please, man. We were trying to tell you. Shit just got…so fucked up.” Daniel said. 

Jake leaned his hands down on the table, looking directly at Daniel. “A text, Daniel. That’s all I asked for. And neither of you could be fucking bothered with it.” He continued to walk around the table. 

“And you know what the worst part about all this is? She left. We got into a huge fight, because I told her I wouldn’t let her get fired. And she trusted me. Now look where we are. She won’t answer my phone calls, texts, nothing. I don’t even know where she is. Just gone.” He sat down hard once he got back to his chair. “I’m gonna fuckin’ lose her again, I just know it.” 

It was silent for a few beats. “She’s home, Jake. At her apartment. She’s fine.” You said under your breath, treading lightly. 

You could feel his eyes boring into the side of your head. “Oh great. So she’ll talk to you then, huh. Did she call you? Go crawling back to you like she does every time we fight?” 

Fuck. 

“Jake, now come on. Please. She was upset as hell. She will be fine, she just needs to figure some shit out. Imagine if your entire career got ripped out from under you. You’d be fucked up too.” You dismissed his insinuation, trying to focus on the bigger picture. “Elle was going over to her apartment to be with her. She’s not alone.” 

He shook his head, forcing his tongue into the sides of his cheeks as his mind raced. You were starting to worry about him finding Elle, now, too. 

Jake finally spoke. “Listen. If we are gonna make this work, I need us to be on the same fuckin’ page. All the time. Can we do that? I need to trust you three. One hundred percent. It feels a bit like we’re starting to forget that.” His leg was bouncing hard up and down. 

His words hit you hard. You nodded to him. “Yeah. No more bullshit.” 

“Jake, it wasn’t my place to tell her about the job, or you…we were trying to figure that part out in the most professional way we could. She needed to hear it from them. Imagine how awful it would have been if I had to be the one to let her know she was fired?” Josh said. 

“All of it is all of our place, Josh. We’re a unit, no individuals. Do you get that? We’re family.” Jake responded, not making eye contact with him. 

Josh nodded, and so did Daniel. “Yeah. Family. Okay. I really am sorry, brother.” Josh said quietly. 

“I’m sorry, too.” Danny admitted. 

Jake grinned for just a second. “I hope he looks worse than you, Danny.” 

Danny took a deep breath. “Well, there’s a little bit more, Jake.” He said, rubbing his hands on his knees. “He pulled a knife on me.”

“Are you kidding me?” You said, in complete disbelief. 

He shook his head. “No, threatened me with it, too. And…right before we left, he told us to enjoy our time with Y/N, because our time with her is limited.”

“That’s why I think these drastic measures need to be taken soon, Jacob.” Josh added. 

Jake’s eyes grew wide. “What the hell does that mean?” 

You felt your stomach turn. Limited? Andy could truly get fucked. 

“Don’t know. Honestly, he was probably just talking a big game. He probably knew she was getting fired, with how much he was saying he knew about us. It was so freaky.” Josh said. 

The table went quiet again as everyone’s heads spun. “We need a game plan. Josh, do you have the photos?” Jake asked. 

“Actually, I do. They emailed them to me, after I requested them. I had to do a little convincing, but after I told them that they were photos taken with a company owned camera, without your immediate consent and without either of your knowledge, they softened up a bit.” Josh pulled out his phone, flicking through his emails. “I haven’t looked at them.”

Jake took the phone. “Come around me, I want us all to see them together. No secrets.” He took a deep breath as everyone crowded behind him, and he opened the attachment. You felt a pang of something in your stomach, jealousy at what you were about to see? But you pushed it away. 

Jake flipped through the attachments, various darkened photos of them in close quarters, holding hands, standing in the rain together…one looked like it was taken between the seats of a plane, another through a window of a crew trailer. 

“Mother fucker…she was watching you guys.” You said in disbelief. 

“Yeah, damn good thing I fired her ass already.” Jake said. 

“What?”  You all said in unison. 

He chuckled. “Yeah, when Y/N got home and told me, I immediately called Collective to try and talk them out of it, too. Told them everything. That we grew up together, dated in the past, that we’re very seriously involved, even lied and told them we lived together. Let them know it had all become serious again after she was hired, and I’m the one they should put the blame on, not her. They didn’t take my plea, either, of course.”

“Anyway, I called the label and told them we would like Summer to be let go effective immediately. Also told them to flag her for inappropriate sexual advancements to myself, with witnesses. Not sure they were expecting that one, but. I’m not sorry I didn’t consult with you three about that decision. I’m sure you all agree we couldn’t trust her. Also I can’t believe Collective never got the photos of us ice skating…I was positive a fan was going to leak that shit.”

“Yeah, I’m not arguing with you about that move. Her photos were great, but. This is overstepping…” you added, wondering what else she may have photographed in her time with the band. 

—

JAKE POV

Pushing back from the table, you stand and pull your keys from your pocket, “Alright, so we’re done here?” you ask.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Sam asks.

“No Sammy, I think they have done enough, don’t you?” you say pointedly.

“Jake, come on…” Daniel replies.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” you say, and with that you are walking out to your car.

Slamming the door shut you push the keys into the ignition and pull out of the parking lot. You slide your phone out of your pocket, hoping to see her name on the screen but you’re met with nothing. 

You swallow nervously as your mind starts to wander, filling your brain with visions of her leaving, and her parting ‘I love you.’

No. Fuck this.

You hit her contact and hold your phone to your ear, letting the tone ring out. You tap your fingers on the steering wheel, anxious to see if she will answer, but again you are met with her voicemail. 

You drop your phone into your lap as you bite the inside of your cheek. Just give her time. She will come around. Right?

Pulling into your driveway you quickly throw your car in park, and jump out, the streets quieter than usual. You take a look around as you head up to your front door, enter your code, and step over the threshold. The house is cold and empty. You swear you can still hear the echoes of your fight earlier. 

Walking straight to the kitchen you pour yourself a drink, and make your way back to your study. You set your drink on the coffee table before stretching out on the couch, grabbing the book you started a few days ago. A few minutes pass, and though you’re reading the words on the page you can’t focus, the nagging feeling of your phone in your pocket driving you mad. 

Is she okay? Is she still at home?

You sit up, taking another sip from your glass, letting the liquid burn down the back of your throat. It isn’t long until you start to feel yourself relaxing. You try to pick up your book again, but still, it’s not sinking in. You toss it back onto the table with a sigh and you place your hands behind your head, staring up at the ceiling. 

How can you fix this?

You stand from the couch, making your way upstairs and into your guest room, where your little studio had been so lovingly crafted. Sitting down at the table, you open the leather sketchbook, letting your fingers glide across the cluster of stars, as you pull a perfectly sharpened pencil from the cup. 

How did you used to do this? How did you start?

You put the pencil to paper and began outlining. You had a vision in your head, and you let your hand guide you as you began to fill the page with your ideas. By the time you feel like you’ve accomplished a rough outline your eyes flick to the clock on the wall. 11:43. 

You flick off the lamp, and stand from the chair, closing the sketchbook. Your heart twists as you see her words scrawled across the first page. You let out a sigh, and make your way back downstairs, locking the door and setting the alarm. 

Stripping yourself of your clothes, you crawl into your bed, and grab her pillow. You quickly turn off the lights and place your phone on the nightstand. You breathe in the scent of her on the sheets and as your eyes grow heavy you wonder what you could have done differently, that could have made her stay.

—

The faint knocking sound causes your eyes to spring open. Am I dreaming? You sit up in the bed, listening in the pitch black bedroom to see if you hear it again. You glance at the clock. 1:20.

Knock, knock.

Who the hell?

You slide out of bed, and realize you’re only in your boxers. You grab your pants from the floor and pull them on in a shimmy as you step into the hallway making your way to the front door. You disarm your security system, and clear your throat. 

As you open the front door, your eyes widen as you see Y/N standing on the porch. 

“Y/N, what are you doing? It’s so late…How long have you been knocking?” you ask.

“I’m so sorry Jake. I…I know it's late. I’m sorry I woke you up. I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.” she says nervously. 

“I probably slept right through it… Come on, come inside. How long have you been out there?” you ask.

“Ten minutes maybe? I was about to give up.” she says, stepping through the doorway. 

You shut the door behind her, locking it and making your way back to your bedroom. 

“I…” you pause. “...I missed you. I tried to call you. Text you… I was worried about you.” you say quietly. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just so… mad. Maybe not even mad, more, embarrassed that you saw all this happen. I just needed to go be embarrassed alone, which actually turned into a lecture from Sam, and then Elle.” she laughed. 

Music to your ears. 

“A lecture?” you questioned.

“Kind of, yeah. I think I am just a really big idiot. For some reason I convinced myself that you only wanted me to move in because you felt like I had no other option and you just felt bad for me or something. I felt like the situation was forcing your hand. But now, I realize how stupid that is. I feel like subtly you’ve been asking me to move in for a few weeks.” she says. 

“Y/N… I didn’t ask you to move in because I thought you had no other choice. I asked you because I love you. I want to see you, here, everyday. Sure, maybe I never flat out asked, but I think I was just waiting until I felt like it was the right time for you. Until I felt like I knew if I asked you, there would be no hesitation in your response. So, yeah, I did ask you today, but only because I love you and care about you and don’t want you to ever have to worry about paying your rent, paying your bills, moving home… any of that. Just live with me. We will figure out the rest.” you finish, running your hand over her arm. 

Her eyes meet yours, blinking slowly, “Okay.”

“Okay? Okay yes? Okay you’ll move in?” you ask, a grin spreading across your face. 

She smiles back at you, “Okay yes, I’ll move in with you.”

You pull her into your chest, wrapping your hand around her head, you place a kiss to her hair. “I love you so much. I swear you’ll never have to worry about another thing, ever again.” you promise. 

“I love you too. You know I couldn’t stay away from you. Not for long.” she whispers against your chest.  “Can we…go to bed? I think today was the longest day of my life.”

You pull away from her, lacing your hand with hers before pulling it up to your lips. “Let’s go to bed. Our bed.” you say with a smile, pulling her down the hallway and through the door. 

—

SAM POV

As you push the front door closed you find the house still lively, even for the late hour. 

“Elle?” you call out, listening to hear a reply.

“I’m in here Sammy!” she yells, indicating she’s in the sunroom. 

You set your things by the door and make your way through the house, flipping a few lights off as you go. You step into the sunroom, and see her lounging across the couch flipping through the pages of a magazine. 

“Hey babe!” she says, sitting up from the cushions. “How was your meeting? Everything okay?” she asks.

“Honestly, no. Y/N got fired, and I thought maybe if we all met up we could figure out a plan or something to change their minds. But, the company just wouldn’t budge. She broke her contract. But then, it evolved into something else entirely. Something else way bigger and…” you pause, “I need to talk to you about something.” 

She puts her hand on your leg and looks at you, eyes full of concern. “What Sammy?”

You run your hands through your hair, and swallow nervously trying to find the right combination of words. “Well, Andy is…back.”

“Y/N’s ex, Andy?!” she shrieks.

“Yeah… has been following us around for a few months.” you confess.

“Sam, what?! Does–Does Y/N know? Oh my god?” she panics.

“No! She doesn’t. And you can’t tell her. Jake will be furious. He hasn’t told her.” you beg.

“Sam…This is… a bad idea. She…she is going to be furious. Livid, even.” she says.

“At first, I agreed with Jake. Maybe it was just a random one time coincidence. But then we started seeing him at more and more shows…It stopped being a coincidence. He was in Michigan just a few weeks ago. Followed us here to Nashville too.” you offer.

“What?! How do you know that?” she asks.

“Josh and Danny got into a fight with him a few days ago. Roughed up Danny’s face pretty good. Pulled a fucking knife on him…” you pause. “That’s why Jake doesn’t want her to know. He doesn't want her to live in fear at her every move.”

“Sam. This is not going to play out how you all think it will. She is entitled to know about this. He can’t protect her all the time…” she says sternly.

“I know, I know. Which is why I am telling you. I want you to know. I want you to be safe and aware of your surroundings when I’m not with you. I mean… you were there that night at the bar too. He hurt you too.” you plead.

You can see her mind replaying that night as a tiny crease forms between her brows. You take her hand in yours and kiss her knuckles. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until now. Josh told us we should tell you both immediately but, we didn’t. I realize that was a mistake and I hope you can understand why I did it. I love you so much Elle, I just…want to protect you, you know?” you ask.

“I’m not happy with you, Sam. I’m sad that you didn’t tell me. I’m more sad that you guys haven't told Y/N, though. She is going to be so upset. I really think she deserves to be aware. If he pulled a knife on Danny, imagine what he would do to Y/N. She needs to be able to protect herself if one of you guys isn’t there, you know? However, I get why you didn’t tell her. It would stress her out so bad… I get it, I do, really. Your intentions were good. It’s just a double edged sword.” she says. 

“Can you forgive me?” you ask. 

“I will. I just need to be mad for a little bit.” she says. You feel your heart drop a bit, but you know she can’t stay mad at you for long, even if she should.

“Promise me that you won’t tell Y/N. Let Jake do it?” you ask.

“I…can’t promise that Sammy. She’s my best friend…” she trails off. 

“Please Elle. I… just need you to promise me.” you plead.

“I will think about it. I just think Jake needs to say something, quickly, because it seems like he’s becoming more empowered the closer he gets to her. God, haven’t you guys ever watched Criminal Minds?!” she says.

You laugh and nod your head, “Yes…Yes and you are right. I will talk to Jake. Kind of…nudge him to tell her. Promise.” you say.

“Thanks baby.” she says, voice dripping with sweetness.

“Okay…We good?” you ask, nervously.

She leans over and presses a kiss to your lips, “We’re good, babe.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower, you staying in here?” you ask.

“Is that an invitation?” she replies.

“Mmm…Always…”

ELLE POV

You flipped the shower handles to extra hot, just how the both of you liked it. Sam’s shower wasn’t the best setup for two people; it was a little bit cramped and on the smaller side, but you always made it work. You stood in front of the mirror, tossing up your long waves on top of your head and wrapping a tie around the messy bun. 

Sam stood behind you in the mirror, already shirtless and eyeing you while you worked your hair. You smirked at him as he caught your eyes, and you watched as he pulled his shorts and underwear off, letting them fall to the floor without ever breaking away from your stare. Suddenly he was pressed against your back, his hands softly searching your body, feeling your curves underneath your oversized t-shirt. 

He reached to the hem of it, pulling it up and over the swell of your breasts, resting the shirt on your chest while he brought his lips to meet your neck. He kissed slowly, sensually, leaving a wet trail from your shoulder to right under your ear. Your arm flew up to tangle in his messy hair, and you pulled on it slightly, something that drove him absolutely insane. 

“Mmm…pull it again, baby.” He murmured into your ear. You obliged. He snaked his hand down in between your breasts, lightly trailing his finger from there to your navel, and then into your panties. His finger slipped between your folds, teasing you with every move he made. His hand was warm on your already yearning core, and you were begging for more of his touch. 

You leaned back into him, feeling his dick hardening against you. He picked at the hem of your t-shirt again, this time pulling it up and over your head. He switched sides, kissing the opposite side of your neck now. 

Fuck, if you weren’t still so upset with him, you could really give him a show right now.

“Sam…” you said, feeling breathless already. 

“Hmmm?” He hummed into your ear. 

“Have we ever had mad sex?” You asked. 

He popped his head back up, detaching his lips. “What?” 

“I’m really still upset with you…I mean, we’re good but, I’m still pissed. I can hardly look at you right now…” you said, seeing where your words would take you. “And it’s really hard because…you’re really fuckin turning me on right now…” 

“You can hardly look at me right now, hmm? That’s interesting.” He breathed, removing his hand from your underwear. “Let’s get in the shower. Wash fast.”

A few minutes later after a boring and quick shower full of no touching at all, but more avoiding each other’s looks, you were towel drying off in the bathroom. 

“Still can’t stand to look at me?” Sam asked. 

You shook your head. “I really am still pissed, Sam.”

“I know it.” He paused. “Still very fucking turned on, too?” 

“Unfortunately.” You admitted. 

You walked out into the bedroom, feeling him following close behind. He walked over to your drawer, and pulled out a soft scarf, one you saved for the warmer months. 

“This will help you not have to look at me, since you can’t stand me right now.” He said pompously. 

“Sam, are you really going to blindfold me?” You said, feeling like the situation could be either silly as all get out, or extremely sexy. 

“No babe. You’re going to blindfold you.” He pulled his hair into a loose bun at his neck, pulling at the sides to loosen it. You knew what that meant. He dangled the scarf in front of your face. “Unless you want me to leave, and you can just take care of yourself…”

You thought for a second. “Mmm, no…I think I want your help…” you took the scarf from his hand, giving him a dissatisfied look of defeat as you walked over to the bed, sat on the edge, and wrapped the scarf around your eyes. 

“Is it tied nice and snug?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“Good. Tie it tighter.” He demanded. Cocky fucker. You huffed, and took the two trailing ends of the scarf and tightened them just a bit more. “There, happy now?”

“Oh I’m happy, but I wanna make you happier…” he said. 

You felt the bed press down beside you as he sat, pushing you slowly backwards onto the bed. He quickly undid the towel that was tucked at your chest, exposing your naked and half-wet body. 

“God baby, your body is just….” He trailed off, clicking his tongue. Suddenly his hands were underneath your armpits, pushing you to the top of the bed. You giggled at the surprise, still unable to see anything at all. You felt his body leaned over yours, his tongue drifting slowly from your neck, to your nipples, to your hips…all the places he knew made you writhe. 

“Please Sam, hurry up…” you breathed as he teased you for what felt like hours. 

“Calm down, love, let me show you I’m sorry…just enjoy…” 

Finally he grabbed your knees, pulling your thighs apart with force, and flipping your legs over his shoulders. His mouth immediately buried into you, wasting no time at all teasing anymore. 

“Shitttttt Sam…” you breathed as he moved his tongue as deeply as he could inside you, before pulling it out again and moving directly to your clit. The surge of pleasure that flooded you was blinding, already feeling so close from being ready for him earlier. 

Suddenly you felt full, as one of his digits entered you as well, slowly pushing in and pulling out as his tongue worked up top. You couldn’t help it, your back arched up, changing the point of contact for his tongue. Your hands met his hair, pulling from his ponytail and loosening the strands. “Mmm babe, I wish I could watch you right now…” you stammered. His free hand massaged the inside of your thigh, his thumb pressing hard into your skin. 

“No peeking…” he growled without disconnecting his mouth. 

After a few more minutes of torture, bringing you to the brink and then pushing you away again, he pulled back, still working his hand painstakingly slow. “Here’s the deal babe, I can add another finger for you, or I can fuck you. Take your pick.”

You lifted your blindfolded face to him, silently wishing you could see his soaked face, messy hair, and snarky expression in the light of the room. 

You breathed a heavy sigh, thrashing your head back down on the bed. “Fuck me Sam. Please.”

“My pleasure, love.” You felt him move to his knees, taking you and flipping you around to your stomach. Ah, your favorite. 

He forcefully yanked you up by your hips, and pressed his hand to the middle of your back, signaling you to arch hard for him; this was his favorite visual. You put your face in the sheets, and walked your knees apart a bit, giving him the perfect angle. “That’s it, baby, right there for me.” 

It was seconds until his mouth was on you again from behind, spurring you on even more. He stayed there for a little bit until he broke away, placing himself between your legs, teasing your entrance. 

“I should’ve blindfolded you, it’s not fair you’re the one in trouble but get to see this whole thing…” you said, turning your head to face him. 

“Hey, you agreed to it. Face back down, or I’ll stop right here.” He rumbled, giving you a fair warning. 

“Erghhhh.” You whined, placing your face back down. His hands were on your hips again, massaging them sensually as you became more and more aroused. 

You felt him begin to tease you again, only allowing himself a couple inches inside before disconnecting and teasing again. You whined again, a pitiful sound that showed him you were begging for him without even using any words. 

Finally he lined up, pushing all the way inside, bottoming out with his hands gripping hard on your hips. The feeling made your mind go numb for a few seconds, feeling him already dusting by your sweet spot with the first thrust. 

“Goddamn baby, you’re so perfect…” he said through a stifled moan as he stilled himself inside you. 

“Show me Sam, show me how perfect I am…” you said. “Please, go.” 

You were fully begging him to pick up the pace now, your body pulling him further inside you on its own accord. He continued his thrusts, seemingly deeper and harder each time. You could tell he was enjoying himself as much as you were, given the dirty sounds filling the room. 

You felt his hand to your back again, pushing it down toward the bed lightly but forcefully, pressing your stomach all the way down. You kept your back arched as best as you could with the new position. Legs sprawled to the sides, he laid his body weight down on your back, the two of you pressed together flat into the mattress. He remained inside of you, but this new position brought his face beside yours, giving him access to kiss the back of your neck, back, and shoulders. 

Instead of thrusting now, he could just grind, moving in tiny circles as your bodies glided together. “Hop up for a sec,” he said, grabbing a pillow to put under your stomach. Fuck yeah. That helped the angle, giving him space to move a little better while still buried deep inside you. 

“You feel so fucking good baby, so warm and wet for me…” Sam said, brushing your hair from covering your face, his voice directly in your ear and sending shivers down your entire body. He bit into your ear lobe, eliciting a hiss from you. You did your best to squeeze him, as you felt yourself getting closer. He snaked his hand underneath you, finding your clit right off the bat, giving it rough but calculated swirls with the tip of his finger. 

“God Sam, yes…” you howled as you felt yourself reaching the peak, the white heat touching your every nerve ending. You arched just a little bit more, pressing your ass into him and grinding your hips with his to give him a little instigation. 

“Yes keep doing that, please…I’m there too baby, fuck…” he said through his teeth as his grinding became more harsh and erratic. 

“Please don’t stop…I…” you breathed, your words falling away. 

Finally, the two of you reached your releases together, the room filling with obscene sounds as you felt him fill you, deep and hot as you rode them out together. 

After you both came down, he let his entire body weight fall on your back, staying sandwiched together with his hand still attached to your heat. 

“Baby, you’re soooo…” he trailed off. “Fuckin perfect. I swear.” 

He removed himself, flipping you back over to face him. He gently lifted the scarf from your eyes, and you blinked a few times to readjust to the light. You met his eyes, full of love and lust and pure adoration. “I love you more than I could ever explain. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.” He admitted. 

“S’okay, babe. I will move past it. Just don’t ever keep anything like that away from me ever again, okay? I’m dead serious, Sam.” You replied. 

He held up his hand. “I promise. I can’t lose you. Not ever.”

You laid for a minute in silence as he peppered your face with slow kisses. You had to tell Y/N. Tonight. You’d text her when Sam goes to bed. This isn’t fair. 

You’d made up your mind, and you were going to tell her about Andy. You didn’t care for the repercussions from the guys, or from Jake. This had to end here. 

— 

JAKE POV

“I don’t know what you’re not getting Josh, it’s a simple key change.” you spit.

“I’m doing my fucking best, Jacob. Cut me a break, we have been at this for four hours.” he replies. 

You turn back to Daniel, “Again.” you instruct, waiting for him to count in. 

As the sound roars to life, you wince as Josh misses the mark yet again, but this time you keep playing. You shake your head at him, annoyed that he can’t seem to get it right. You finish out the song, and place your guitar in the stand. 

“I’m gonna take a break, I’ll be back. My hand is fucking killing me.” you say, making your way out the door. 

You find yourself outside, leaning against the building holding the flame to the tip of a joint. 

You inhale the earthy flavored smoke, and let it fill your lungs as you watch the cars pass by. A few minutes later Josh is stepping outside to join you. You scoff at him when he holds his hand out for the joint. 

You begrudgingly pass it to him, crossing your arms as you lean back into the brick.

“So you’re pissed at me. Is that it?” he asks, blowing out the smoke.

You turn to look at him, deadpan, “No, what would make you think that…” you reply sarcastically. 

“Cut the shit Jake. You know I wasn’t intentionally keeping shit from you. You’re my goddamn twin for Christ sake. Everything was… fucked up. I didn’t even know what to tell you first. Or even how. I was… trying to figure it out.” he offers.

“Something. Anything…” you reply. 

It’s quiet for a few minutes, the two of you passing the dwindling joint back and forth. 

“I’m sorry, Jake. I know you are in a tough spot with her losing her job. I don’t think any of us really thought it would happen. Then, the whole Andy thing… That dude is a fucking creep Jake. He freaked me out. I… don’t even know what to do.” he confesses. 

“It’s okay…I’m not really mad. Just… disappointed. Like you said, you’re my twin…I trust you more than myself sometimes. If I can’t trust you, what do I have left?” you ask.

He nods his head, “Yeah. No, you’re totally right. I fucked you over. I should have told you first. It won’t happen again. I promise.” he says, eyes full of regret. 

“We’re good.” you say, offering him a tight smile. 

“You sure?” he asks.

“Yeah. She uh… she came back. Last night. Like one in the morning. She agreed to move in with me.” you say nervously. 

“Move in?” he asks, shocked. 

“Yeah, she was freaking out, man. She was saying she was going to move home and shit. There’s no way. I can’t do this without her anymore. I was going to like, officially ask her or whatever in a few weeks after things settled down a bit, but then all this happened and she said that, so I asked her. I panicked. I couldn’t lose her again, you know? Anyways, she left and said she needed space, apparently talked to Sam, and to Elle, then showed up last night, and said okay that she would move in.” you said. 

“She talked to Sam?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's what she said…” you replied.

“Huh, sounds like you owe him a big fucking thank you for whatever he said to her.” he says. 

“Yeah…you know, you’re right.” you answer, opening the door to the studio, and letting him walk in. 

“Where is that lanky fuck?” you laugh, letting the door shut behind you.

—

Pulling into your driveway later that night, you see her car still parked and you can’t help the smile that parts your lips. As you slip into the front door, you hear her in the shower, humming along to a song, playing loudly from the speaker in the bathroom. Your chest tightens when you realize that this is something you’ll get to hear everyday. You’ll get to see her fresh from the shower, wet hair and plain faced and gorgeous. It won’t be a commodity, it will just be your life now. 

You place your keys in the dish, and kick off your boots. You head to the kitchen to grab a beer, and position yourself on your couch, scrolling through the options on the TV. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you pull it out seeing a new message in the group chat.

Sam:

4:47pm: Why don’t we just hire her as an assistant? She would be in direct employment through us. Do whatever we need her to do. Be with us at all times…

Daniel:

4:49pm: Can we do that?

Josh:

4:50pm: Yeah. We absolutely can do that. Fuck why didn’t I think of that.

Sam

4:51pm: That way she is still “working” and doing the job she loves, without the bullshit contracts and still getting to tour with us.

You:

4:52pm: This would be the best case scenario. That way she is also with us… 

Josh

4:53pm: Shit I didn’t think of that either… Yeah. I will call Aaron and talk about logistics. I’ll get back with you. 

Daniel

4:54pm: Good idea Sam

You:

4:55pm: Thank you Sammy

Sam

4:56pm: We can’t do this tour without her. Our outfits would always be fucked!!

Daniel

4:57pm: Lol

“Oh my gosh! Jake! You scared me!” she says, stepping out of the bedroom. You shove your phone back into your pocket and laugh. 

“Sorry my love, I figured it would be more scary to tell you I was home while you were in the shower.” you smile.

“What are you doing?” she asks, sitting down next to you on the couch. 

“I don’t know. I never use this thing…” you say, pointing the remote at the TV. 

She smiles at you as you lift your arm, motioning for her to lean into your side. “Oh, we could order in and watch a movie?” she suggests.

You turn to face her and press a soft kiss to her lips, “Whatever you want, lover.”

—

After a box of pad thai, a movie, and a few episodes of a show you don’t even know the name of, you both find yourself drifting off on the soft leather couch. 

“Baby, let’s go get in bed. We are both falling asleep.” you say.

She forces her eyes open and throws the blanket off the two of you, pulling herself from your side. “I just sleep so good all curled into your side like that. S’my favorite.” she yawns.

“We’re like ten feet from the bedroom and then you can resume the position. Go ahead, I’m right behind you. I’m just gonna lock up.” you say, helping her from the couch. 

She sulks off to the bedroom as you take the leftovers to the kitchen, and lock all the doors. Soon enough you are wrapped in your linen sheets with your girl curled back into your side. You placed your phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, letting your eyes close as you wonder how life could get any better than this. 

—

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Your eyes squint open, hearing the incessant buzzing next to your head.  You roll to your side and pick up your phone seeing an unfamiliar caller ID.

“Fuck…” you groan. “Fucking people, leave me alone…”

“Hello?” you ask, answering the call. 

“Hi, this is April with Sonitrol Security. Is this Mr. Kiszka?” they ask.

“Yeah, this is he…” you reply, voice hoarse.

“Mr. Kiszka, we received an alarm signal at your office building. We are calling to confirm whether this is an actual break in or a false alarm.” she states.

“No. None of us are there, it’s not a false alarm.” you say, sitting up in the bed. 

“I will dispatch right away, can you please confirm your four digit passcode and your password?” she asks.

“Oh yeah, it's 3102 and the password is Disraeli.” you answer. 

“Excellent thank you Mr. Kiszka. The authorities are on the way to the premises. It would probably be helpful to meet them there to file paperwork.” she adds.

“Thank you.” you say. 

“Thank you, have a great evening.” she says, ending the call.

Fuck. What the fuck?

You immediately get up, and put on the clothes you kicked to the floor, dialing Josh’s number as you pull your shirt over your head.

“Answer asshole…” you groan.

The calls rings to voicemail, and you curse as you buckle your belt. You try Sam next.

“Hello?” his voice is still half asleep.

“Sam. Wake up. There was a break in at the office.” you state simply.

“Our office?” he asks, confused.

“Yes. They just called me and told me to meet the police down there. Get dressed and meet me there. Please.” you ask.

“Shit. Okay. See you in a minute.” he says, ending the call.

You press the contact for Daniel, making your way to the other side of the bed. You sit at the edge as you hear him answer.

“Jake…” he groans.

“Hey. The security company just called me and said there was a break in at the office. I am going down there right now to meet the cops. Sam is on his way, and Josh didn’t answer.” you say.

“Shit, seriously?” he asks.

“Yes.” you answer.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there.” he says, ending the call.

You shove your phone into your pocket, and shake her shoulder, “Hey…” you whisper.

She turns on her side and her eyes crack open.

“Hey, I have to go to the office. There was a break in. You stay here, go back to sleep. I will be home soon.” you say, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“Be careful…Love you…” slips tiredly through her lips.

“I love you, be back soon.” you say, closing the bedroom door.

As you lock the front door behind you, you make your way to the car, seeing the dashboard read 4:50am. Who the fuck breaks into an office?

The roads are empty at this hour, making quick time to the office as you pull into the parking lot.

There are 4 police cars parked out front, along with the office manager's car. Daniel pulls in a few seconds after you, as you are making your way up to the front door. 

“Hello sir, what can I do for you this evening?” the cop says. 

“Hey, uh, my name is Jacob Kiskza. This is my office. I got a call we had a break in and to meet you here.” you reply. 

“Oh, yeah, great. So, looks like there was a break in. Someone took a rock to this side window here, and busted it out. Inside is a pretty big mess. You guys may need to take a look around and try to take inventory on what's missing.” he says.

Fuck. Why didn't it occur to you that they probably stole shit?

Sam walks up seconds later, still half asleep. “We have to go look inside to see what’s gone.” you said, stepping through the front doors. 

The place is a bit of a mess, you can tell that the storage cabinets were gone thorough and things were missing. 

“Has anyone talked to Josh?” you ask, stepping around the piles of cords on the floor. 

“I called him roughly twenty times as I drove over here, he did finally answer.” Sam said.

“Is he coming?” you ask.

“Yeah, he was on his way.” he replied.

“Tech equipment was cleaned out.” Danny says, making his way back over to you. 

“The conference room laptop is gone too.” he adds.

“Fuck man, what loser did this shit…” you scoff. 

“Jake…” Sam says from across the room. 

Your eyes flick over to his, suddenly full of sadness.

You look to where he is standing, right next to the kit. “Oh fuck… don’t….don’t even say it…” you plead, walking quickly to join him. 

“God damnit!” you yell, smacking your hand on the wall. 

“Of every fuckin’ thing in here it had to be that!” you continue.

Your very first SG. The one you learned on. The one you picked out with your dad, what feels like a million years ago. You always knew you should have kept it at home with the others. You put too much trust into this place. Now, she’s gone. 

“Jake I’m sure we’ll find it, I bet–” Sam starts.

“We will never see it again. I guarantee it. It’s fucking gone.” you pause, seeing Josh walk through the door. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” he asks.

“Some piece of shit broke into the office.” Sam says. “His guitar is gone.”

Josh looks over to you, knowing full well, how important that guitar was to you. “The one dad bought?” he asks.

You bite your lips together, “Yeah…” you reply solemnly. You run your hand over your face, cussing through a breath. 

“Can we pull the footage?” Daniel asks, pointing the camera in the corner of the room.

“I think they are already trying. I talked to the office manager a minute ago. Said they would text me the footage.” Josh answered.

“I can’t fucking believe it.” you said, staring at the empty stand. 

“We have to make a list of everything missing so that we can talk to the insurance company. Jake, I know you don’t want to hear it but, we have to keep looking to see what else is gone.” Josh says.

Sam and Danny walk away, continue to take inventory of the collection of rooms, as Josh walks over to meet you. 

“We will find it, Jake. I promise.” he says, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“It was my first one. First one that was really me. Really mine, you know? Thought it was safe here. If I knew I would have kept it at home with the others.” you say. “They are going to pawn it like it’s some cheap piece of nothing. It has no meaning to them. They don’t even know…”

“We will find out who stole it. We will get it back.” Josh promises.

You turn to look at him, and nod as you step away from the scene of the crime.

An hour or so later, you are wrapping up with the police who will be waiting for the footage pulled from the cameras. You all collectively agreed that you will be pressing charges as soon as the person is found, and charge them to the fullest extent. 

It’s close to daylight as you pull out of the lot, the sick feeling in your stomach still present as you head back home. Sure, it’s just a guitar, but, for most of your life it was your number one. Your only one. 

As you step through your front door, the light is just starting to peek over the horizon. You leave your keys in the dish and your shoes by the door, returning to the dark bedroom, with a sigh. 

“Hey babe, is everything okay?” her soft voice drifting towards you.

“Hey baby. No, not really. Someone broke in. Stole a bunch of stuff. Stole my guitar.” you reply.

“Your guitar? Your fancy one?” she asks.

You smile, “No. Not the fancy one. I keep those here. It was actually my first electric. My dad bought it for me when we were kids.” you answer.

“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry. I bet we’ll find it soon.” she says, rolling over to face you. 

You strip your clothes back off, and place your phone on the nightstand, ready to go back to sleep.

“I’m not going to lie. I am pretty upset about it. I’m not sure I will ever see it again. Maybe one day though.” you sigh. 

Your phone buzzes before you even have a chance to get back into bed. 

Josh

5:56am: Attachment - Video

Josh

5:57am: Jake… I think we know who has your guitar. 

As you let the video play your breath hitches in your throat. Surely not? You try your best to zoom in on the footage, trying to make absolutely sure. Suddenly your phone is buzzing in your hand. 

“Hey.” you answer.

“Dude, it’s fucking him. Tell me you see it.” Josh says. 

“Yeah I see it. Was just trying to zoom in and make sure.” you reply.

“No! I know that face anywhere. It’s him. He is fucking insane.” he says. 

“You’re right about that. I will call you later, okay?” you press.

“Later.” he says, ending the call.

You slip into the bed, and turn to face her. “It was who?” she asks. 

You feel your heart stop for a second as you scramble to respond.

“Oh that was Josh.” you answer. 

“No. I know that. He said, ‘it’s fucking him’. I heard it.” she says, sitting up on her elbow. 

“It’s so late. Or early. Whatever. Can we talk about it in the morning?” you ask, hoping she will concede. 

“Who was it Jake?” she asks. 

“Y/N….” you plead.

“You know. You know who it was. Why won’t you tell me?” she asks.

“Because I… I don’t want to freak you out! I…” you stammer. 

“Why would it freak me out Jake?” she pauses, standing up from the bed. “What did he mean it’s him? It’s who? Someone I know? Someone you know I know?” she says, raising her voice.

“Y/N, baby, please. Just calm down. I can explain.”  you say, sitting up and raising your hands to her. 

“It’s fucking Andy, isn’t it. Isn’t it Jake!” she yells, visibly shaking, even in the dim light. 

“Fuck, Y/N. Please. Just… Fuck. Yes. Okay? It was. It was Andy. He threw a rock through our window and stole a bunch of shit.” you answer. 

“How does he know where your office is, Jake?” she yells.

“I don’t know. I… don’t know. He has been around.” you confess.

“Around?! Around where!?” she says, backing herself into the wall.

You rub your hands across your face, shaking your head. What the fuck do I do?

“Well, the first time….Austin. Then, in LA, then–” she cuts you off. 

“I’m sorry, Austin?! As in Texas? Where we were in fucking October, Jake?!” she screams.

“Baby, I thought it was a fluke. We all did, we thought he was just in the crowd by coincidence or something…” you plead.

“We all?” she stops you.

You release a sigh knowing you just opened a whole other can of worms. “Yes…We all saw him that night. We didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to scare you.” 

“Jake are you fucking kidding me?! You all knew!?” she replies.

“I wanted to tell you… I–I just was more worried about keeping you safe. Keeping you away from him. Who knows when this even really started. After Austin we just started actually seeing him, and actively checking for him.”

“Jake this is….” she says waving her hand in the air. “This is why all the extra security, and the rushing back to hotels, and the never letting me go anywhere alone…. Suddenly it’s all making sense… this has been happening for months, right under my own nose. You lied to me!” she yells. 

“I didn’t lie, Y/N. I just didn’t tell you that we saw him.” you reply.

“That’s the same fucking thing as lying to me! Where else did you see him Jake...” she asks.

You sighed, completely conceding to her questions now. “We saw him again in LA. Then, at Thanksgiving, you thought you saw him. I knew it had to be him. Then that weird shit at Christmas….and the texts…” you said shaking your head. “He got into it with Danny and Josh the other day in a fucking alley. He threatened them! How was I supposed to tell you that without freaking you out!?” you ask.

“You’ve known for months, and you just weren’t going to tell me? Those weird unknown number texts? Those were him? Oh my god, he’s stalking me isn’t he? That day I swore it was him at the shops… You let me think I was crazy Jake! After I told you everything? How could you?!” she asks, cries busting forward from her chest. 

“I… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I was just trying to protect you!” you yell. You quickly regain your composure, knowing full well that she was already scared. 

“After your nightmare in LA, I was…torn up. I just wanted to keep you safe from him. Imagine if I would have told you then, that we’d seen him…you would’ve been so terrified at every turn… We didn’t even know the extent of his stalking yet. I just… felt like it was better if you didn’t know. Which is stupid, and wrong and I am so fucking sorry, I just didn’t know what else to do. I thought we could handle it without getting you involved.” you beg. “We went about it all the wrong ways, and I know that now, and I feel so stupid, I’m so sorry Y/N. We shouldn’t have kept that from you. It wasn’t our place.” 

“No, you absolutely should not have kept that from me. Jake this is so beyond messed up. You lied to me. Deceived me. How can I ever trust you again?” she says, grabbing her things and shoving them into a bag. 

“Baby, no. What are you doing?” you say, rushing to her side. 

“I can’t stay here. I won’t. I won’t stay with someone who lies to me. Someone I can’t trust. You said you loved me. This isn’t love Jake. This is control… and deceit!” she snaps. “I can’t even look at you, I'm so mad.”

“Y/N, please. Don’t go. Just stay. Talk to me. We can figure this out.” you beg, reaching for her hand. 

“No. Don’t touch me! There’s nothing to figure out. You’re a liar! What else have you lied to me about, huh!” she yells, ripping her hand from yours. “All of you…lied to me for months! And Sam?! He knew too? And didn’t tell me…” she trailed off, her actions in a frenzy. “How can I trust any of you?! Does Elle even know? Because he fucking put his hands on her too, if you even remember. God this is so fucked up.” 

She grabs her purse, digging out her car keys and finding the key you gave her yesterday. She fumbles with it, unlooping it from the keyring and tossing it across the room. “Keep it. I don’t want it!” she yells as the key bounces off the floor, clanking around until it finds its place in the corner. 

You shudder at the sound. “Y/N, please, just sit for a second. He broke into our office, who knows where he even is now? He could be out there waiting for you!” you say.

“I can handle myself!” She screamed. “I’m not a child, Jacob!”

“He pulled a fucking knife on Danny, Y/N, okay? He’s dangerous! He isn’t fucking around!” You tried not to yell, but you needed to drive that part home. 

“You don’t think I know he’s dangerous, Jake? Were you the one that had to hide bruises on your arms for months? Got your head bashed into a wall at a crowded bar? Hm? Hid yourself in a bathroom while he tried to break the door down? Not to mention all of the hundreds of other stories I haven’t even told you about because it makes me sick to my fucking stomach to even think about them?! There’s more, Jake. There’s so much more.” She shifted her weight, shaking her head. 

“I’ve taught myself how to be on the lookout. I know what it feels like if he’s in my presence. I walk with my keychain in my hand constantly in case I ever have to use my self defense weapon. I’m not stupid, Jake.” She shoved the last of her things into her bag. 

“I understand, baby. I’m so sorry…please just don’t make any irrational decisions right now.” You begged. 

“Irrational? Irrational!? How am I supposed to act Jacob? You just told me that my highly abusive ex is stalking me, and has been for months. Not only that but he is threatening you, my friends, me… and everyone knows except for me? You think that’s okay?!” she screams. 

“No! I don’t think it’s okay, but I didn’t see another way!” you yell. 

She throws her bag over her shoulder, wiping the tears from her eyes, as she reaches around her neck to unclasp her necklace. 

No... 

“No. Y/N. Please, don’t do this. Please…” you beg, watching her slide the pendant from her neck and tossing it onto the bed.

Your eyes well with tears, as you watch hers fall. “Jake…I don’t know what to say. I never thought you’d hurt me like this. You were the one person…I thought I could trust…” she trails off. 

You rush over to her, grabbing her face in your hands. She turns her face away from you, her cheeks wet from tears. “I am so sorry. Please…please don’t go. I promise you can trust me. I love you. I love you more than anything. We will figure this out. I…I’ll do whatever it takes…” you wrap her in your arms, a one last ditch attempt to physically hold her to you. 

She pulls out of your arms, “Let me go. I have to go.”

She hurries out of the front door, only the chime ringing through the house letting you know she was ever really there. 

You collapse onto the floor, unable to hold your own weight up. You clutched the tiny daisy necklace in your hand, knowing you really lost her this time. 

—

How many times is she going to leave before she’s gone for good? 

You sat collapsed on the floor, sitting with your head in your hands and your elbows on your knees for what felt like hours, running over the past five months over and over in your head. You should have told her. You should have given her warning. Josh was right. 

But you didn’t, and it backfired in a way that you weren’t sure you were going to be able to clean up. How could you apologize your way out of this one? Was it even possible? It felt like all of the blood had drained from your body, and you sat lifeless on the rug of your bedroom floor, letting yourself feel the guilt completely. 

Suddenly your phone buzzed on your nightstand, a single text notification that woke you from your self-pity. You drug yourself up from the floor, reaching for your phone and hoping it was her. 

Sam. 

You swiped the text open, finding a fairly long message from him. 

Sam

7:21am: Y/N just called Elle…sounded pretty bad. I told Elle about Andy yesterday, I’m guessing she sat on it for a day and didn’t tell Y/N, either. I know you guys got into it pretty badly, and she left. Just go chase her, Jake. Gotta make it right. 

Comprehending his text was proving to be difficult. It was blurry through your tired, glassy eyes, and you were so exhausted it felt like you’d been hit by a truck. But he was right, you had to make this right. Everything was your fault, and you hated yourself for fucking things up, again. It was now or never. Losing her for good might kill you. 

You stood up, putting your clothes back on and wiping your eyes free from the wetness that had collected in them. You hadn’t really cried, just let yourself feel way too many feelings at once. You ran to the front door and put your shoes back on quickly, grabbed your keys from the dish, and sprinted down the walk to your car. 

You felt like you couldn’t get to her fast enough, like something was pulling you toward her again. Something intense. You dashed through the morning commute traffic, whipping in and out of lanes and backstreets on the quickest route to her. 

She’s not getting away again. Not ever. 

——

HER POV

You slammed the door to Jake’s house a little harder than intended, but you couldn’t care less. You made a dizzy mad dash to your car, hitting the unlock button on your keys way before you even got there. The tears were falling hard, and you felt absolutely obliteratingly sad. When you finally made it to the driver’s seat, you locked the doors behind you, stuck the key in the ignition, and started the car. One last look to Jake’s door gave you nothing but a worse feeling; you half expected him to be running after you. 

You pulled off down the street like a bat out of hell, trying to make it to the safety of your apartment as quickly as you could. Everything is falling apart. 

Your phone was still lodged somewhere in your purse, so you blindly dug through all of the other items you’d thrown in there before you left Jake’s house. After you finally grabbed it, you opened the lock screen, being met with a photo of you and Jake huddled together on the couch, smiling cheek to cheek, a selfie you’d soon be deleting. 

You’d gotten a text from Elle late last night, but you were already asleep. ‘Call me’ was all it read. You hit the phone symbol on her contact, listening as the tone rang and rang, with no answer on the other end. 

Shit. 

You needed her. You needed to tell her. She deserved to know that Andy was back. Or, did she already know?

You sped through traffic and finally pulled into your apartment parking lot. You pulled into your spot, turning the car off and sitting there, unable to pull yourself out. The comforting feeling of your vehicle was always something that made you feel safe; a little home away from home where you could let all of your emotions fly, and no one would ever see. 

What is happening? Why is this all happening? Your best friends in the world whom you’ve loved and trusted your whole life…not even having the decency to tell you your stalker was back with a vengeance. The love of your life didn’t even bother to inform you…well, not love of your life anymore, you don’t suppose. 

After another good and hearty cry, you pulled yourself from the driver’s seat and grabbed your purse. You’d get the rest later. You just wanted to lock yourself in your bedroom, turn your phone off and shut the world out. And that’s exactly what you were going to do. 

Before you could leave the lot, Elle was calling you back. 

“Hello?” You answered, voice scratchy from crying. 

“Hey, hun. You okay? Sorry I missed you earlier...” she said. 

You sat back down in your car. 

“No, not really Elle. Andy is back. He has been back for months. He’s following me again. And get this, all the guys knew it, and none of them told me. Apparently he’s been coming to shows since September, sneaking around in the crowd and everything. Did Sam tell you about the break in last night? And Jake’s guitar getting stolen?” you pause. 

“Well it was fucking Andy who did it. Ugh I don’t know Elle, I’m so mad and feel so betrayed, I left Jake’s. I’m back at my apartment now.” You went on, your words spewing out. “I’m honestly not sure if I’m going to go back, Elle.” You sighed.

“Did you know? Did they leave you in the dark, too?” You asked, hoping to hear that she hadn’t been hiding it from you too. 

“Sam told me yesterday, and that’s why I texted you last night. I was going to tell you. They hadn’t told me either, Y/N. Probably because they knew I wouldn’t keep their secret.” She said quietly. 

“Fuck. I can’t believe I missed your text, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do, Elle. I’m so infuriated.” You confessed. 

“You have every single right to be mad at him, Y/N. Mad at all of them. Without a doubt. That was not a good decision on their part. I completely agree with you.” She said. 

“Okay, so I’m not crazy for blowing up?” You asked. 

“No, you’re not crazy this time.” She giggled. “But no, I’m actually pretty fucking mad at Sam, too. This should not have been something they kept from us. Not in the least.” She said through a sigh. 

“You’re right.”

“Go inside, hun. Take a bath, cool off a bit, I’ll call you later.” Elle said, her voice laced with comfort. 

“Okay. I will.” You said. 

“Oh, Y/N? You know Jake didn’t mean to hurt you, right? He would never intentionally hurt you. None of them would. He had good intentions, hiding this from you…though he went about it the wrong way. He was just trying to protect you like he always has. Don’t shut him out, okay?” She lamented. 

You sighed. “I’ll try, Elle. Love you.” And you hung up the phone. 

Again, you grabbed your purse and locked your car door, and headed down the short sidewalk to your apartment door. Your stomach suddenly began doing flip flops, you felt lightheaded and dreadful, blaming it on the severity of the situation hitting you all at once. You reached the porch, and fumbled with the keys, dropping them on the wooden porch with a clank. 

“Shit.” You mumbled, reaching down to retrieve them. Before you could grasp them, they were kicked across the porch underneath you, your only means of self-defense sliding across the wood into the corner. When you stood, you were met with a familiar face, one you could live a million lifetimes not ever seeing again. 

“Hey there, gorgeous. Happy to see me?” The tall, blonde haired, light-eyed man you’d once loved, now standing on your front porch, eyeing you like a piece of meat he wanted to devour. 

“Andy, what the fuck are you doing here. Get the hell off of my porch right now.” You seethed, suddenly feeling helpless and defensive at the same time. 

“Oh now, I thought you’d be excited to see me? It’s been so long, you know. Thought we could catch up…” he said, slowly taking steps toward you. 

You felt a lump growing in your throat. “No, it hasn’t been long.” You swallowed, trying to stay strong. “I know you’ve been back. I know you’ve been following me all over the country.”

“Hmmm…your rockstar boyfriend and his compadres finally tell you their little secret? Damn, I didn’t think it’d take them this long…” 

“Andy, I told you to get off my property, please. I’m going inside. I need you to leave.” You said, your breathing becoming more rapid the closer he got to you. 

“But I just got here, baby. Can’t we just talk a little bit?” He said, flitting his eyelashes to you. This was absolutely not the same man you fell in love with all those years ago. He had changed, exponentially. 

“No, I don’t want to talk to you. Please leave, or I’m calling the police.” You warned. 

“Hah, the police? You think I’m scared of the cops?” He scoffed. 

“You should be, I know they’re out searching for you right now…we know it was you that broke into the office and stole all their stuff….you should’ve stolen the security cameras, too, if you wanted to stay hidden.” You spat. “I thought you were a little smarter than that, Andy.” 

For a split second, you thought you saw him flinch, a minute expression of second-guessing himself…perhaps feeling a little bit of fear? You capitalized on it. 

“Actually, after the cops identified you, we told them you’d been stalking me for months, told them the severity of it…they agreed to drive by multiple times a day to do wellness checks on me here, especially today when they know you’re in town.” You pressed. 

His eyes began zipping back and forth in thought, he licked his lips continually and he ran his hand through his hair. Who even is this man?

“Let me go the fuck inside my house, Andy!” You yelled. 

Suddenly he had his body pressed up against you, your wrist clenched in his hand, and the sharp blade of a knife pressed against your neck. 

“Shut the fuck! Up! Y/N! Do you ever stop fucking talking?!” he screamed.

You could feel the cold metal on your jugular as you swallowed, trying to contain yourself as you stepped back, catching your breath in pure terror. 

“You’re going to listen to me now, do you understand? Everything I tell you to do, you’re going to do without argument. Or else this knife will be put to use.” he threatened. 

You consented, nodding slowly with the blade still to your throat. You shouldn’t have pushed him. He walked you to the edge of the porch, and instructed you to pick up your keys, and find the correct one to open your door. 

“Don’t even think about it…” he growled in your ear as he noticed your self defense keychain hanging from the ring. 

You winced, seeing it so close but unable to use it. You prayed someone would walk by and see you, but your apartment door was hidden well, in a concave part of the building tucked away from sight. 

You nervously found the key, and he walked you back to the front door. Your hands shook as you slipped it into the lock, turning it to release. 

“No fucking funny business.” He said as you entered the large studio style room, dropping your keys and purse on the table by the door. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute, and your brain was wild trying to think on your toes at every TV show you’d ever watched, every bit of self defense you’d ever learned, and trying your best to stay calm while outsmarting him. 

When you got inside, he turned and closed the door behind him, walking you over to your small dining table. “Sit.” He demanded.

You did as he asked, placing yourself gently in a chair, eyes scanning the table for anything you could find in case you needed it. Immediately, he pulled a small zip tie from his pocket and tied your hands together in your lap. Nothing new here, unfortunately. 

“Why are you here, Andy? What do you want from me?” You asked. 

He pulled the opposite chair close to you, taking a seat and facing you. “Mmm, don’t you remember all the good times we had, baby? Back at college, spending all that time together?” 

He pressed, taking the knife away from your throat, and tracing it down your cheek. “Don’t you want to be that way again? Just you and me, like old times…”

“We were really crazy about each other, weren't we Y/N? Had such great times together…made beautiful love…” the knife continued to trace your features slowly, gently pressing into your skin every few seconds. 

“We were, Andy. But that was years ago. And I don’t know if it would be considered making love, all those times you forced me…and all the other awful things you did to me. I didn’t forget.” You said bravely. 

“You don’t think I loved you, Y/N? Of course I did…everything I did I did out of love, don’t you understand that? My temper sometimes just…got in the way. But you always forgave me, didn’t you baby? Always came crawling back to me…you couldn’t resist…” he spattered. 

The closer he got to your face, the more you could tell that he’d been drinking. Of course. His actions didn’t mirror it, strangely enough, but you could smell it on his breath. 

“Don’t you miss the love we made, Y/N?” He asked, trailing the knife down your arm, onto your side and finally up and down your bare legs. You felt your heart rate spike at the strange contact, the blade gently scaling the sensitive parts of your legs. 

“There’s no way he gives it to you better than I did…no way he can fuck you better…don’t you remember, Y/N? Tell me…tell me I was the best…” the blade of the knife turned suddenly, piercing a deep slit in your thigh. 

You winced at the pain, blood immediately dropped down the side of your leg. “Fuck Andy! What the hell is wrong with you?! Get the hell away from me!”

You began to scream, too stunned to move your arms, or push him away at all. Your vision began to go blurry with nerves and fear, you felt your body begin to try and protect itself, fight or flight coming into play. This feeling was one you had felt a hundred times before with him, every bone in your body preparing itself for whatever physical or mental infliction he was about to drop on you. 

“Tell me I was the best for you! Tell me I’m better than he is! Tell me, Y/N!” He yelled in your face, spit escaping his mouth. 

“You weren’t, Andy! You never were. He was always the best, a million times better to me than you could ever think about being!” You yelled, but fairly calmly, deciding to not match his insane energy. 

He stood towering over you, pushing down hard on your shoulders and pinning you to the chair against the wall. “Don’t you fucking move Y/N or I swear to god you won’t leave this apartment!” He yelled, his liquor soaked breath spitting in your face. 

“I’m not fucking scared of you Andy! Not anymore!” You yelled back, using all of your body weight to counteract him, standing and shoving yourself into him. You brought your knee directly to his groin fast and hard, momentarily stunning him into pain. He fell to one knee, grabbing himself and choking. You used that opportunity to try and get away, but he’d fallen right between you and the table and a mess of chairs, so stepping over him was your only option. 

So you took it, leaping high over him as best you could with your hands still tied. He grabbed your leg while you were in mid air, pulling you down and into the table, your face hitting the edge of it as you fell. You put your hands to the floor to brace yourself for the fall, but his pull was too fast, and you hit your head hard on the floor. 

“You bitch!” He screamed, as he crawled over top of you on the floor, pinning you down again. You couldn’t move, all his body weight was holding you down. You felt blood dripping from your nose and down the side of your cheek, and you finally gave in and looked up at him as he held you down. He was crushing your chest and your lungs, making it hard to breathe. 

Your vision was blurring again, your breaths low and shallow as he crushed you. You fought with everything you had in you. He reached over, finding his knife that had fallen to the floor. The last thing you saw before you closed your eyes was the glint of the silver blade flashing off the twinkle lights hanging in your kitchen. 

They look like…stars… 

Your brain began to go fuzzy, the lack of oxygen taking effect.  You winced, preparing yourself for pain. 

Suddenly, you heard your front door swing open, the knob hitting into the wall with force. “Hey, get the fuck off of her!” 

Jake. 

It stunned Andy, temporarily taking his attention away from you. Suddenly Andy’s weight was off of you, and your lungs were able to fill with air again. You inhaled sharply, choking and catching your breath as your vision returned. All you heard was a loud crash as you watched Jake tackle Andy across the room, their bodies flying into the wall in a mess of flailing limbs. 

Deja vu. Somehow, after a few seconds of fighting, Andy rolled in the same manner that he had just had you in, sitting on top of Jake as he pinned him in the corner of the wall and floor, Jake fighting and screaming beneath him. 

“Well, well, well…if it isn’t little Jakey here to rescue his lady. You here to get your ass kicked in front of your girlfriend again, Jake?” Andy seethed as he hit Jake with an open palm across the face. 

You watched as Andy took his blade again, this time holding it against Jake’s throat, his other hand across his neck, fingers digging in and squeezing. Jake’s legs squirmed and kicked below him as you listened to him fight for air. His hands were pounding into Andy’s sides and face, his legs flailing and hitting into the floor, but to no avail. Andy had him pinned. 

You were stunned, planted in one spot unable to move. All the fear and panic that Andy had driven into you for so many years crashing back down onto you. You’d been his puppet, dangling from his strings for years on end, the way he lived in the very back crevices of your brain, making you fear for your life at every turn. 

You finally made it to your feet, stumbling in pain from your harsh fall. Your eyes met Jake’s as he silently pleaded with you. His face had gone bloodshot, the life falling from his eyes as his movements began to slow, and his eyes began to close. Finally, his limbs steadied, his body falling still. 

No. 

Not fucking today, Andy. 

You grabbed at the chair that had fallen to the floor, your hands still tied tightly at the wrists. The back of the heavy wooden chair was sturdy, thankfully, and you took it in your grasp as best you could. In a fit of rage and adrenaline, you lifted it high behind you, and forcefully pulled it down onto Andy’s back and head with all of the strength you had left in your body. 

It knocked Andy sideways off of Jake as he screamed out in pained surprise. He turned to face you, but you were already ready, the chair lifted high above you again. You crashed the chair onto him again, pushing him from his knees to his stomach. This time, you made sure it would hurt. 

Jake coughed and gasped beside you, air filling his lungs again as he gripped his throat. Andy was knocked out. You dropped the chair and you fell to your knees next to Jake, trying your best to see if he was okay, with your hands still tied. 

“Baby, baby talk to me. Jake! Are you okay!?” You patted his body and face as he came back to. “Jacob, talk to me! I’m right here…” 

He looked at you with his eyes wide, quickly nodding as he sat up and took you in his arms. “I’m okay, I’m okay baby.” He stammered, his voice still shaky and his breathing labored. As the two of you regained composure and let your heart rates settle a bit, you both looked to Andy, passed out on the floor of your kitchen. 

Jake slowly stood up, walked over to him carefully, and grabbed the knife from the floor beside him, still bloody from cutting your thigh. He walked over to you then, grabbing your hands and pulling you to your feet. He took the blade between your wrists, cutting the zip tie and freeing your hands. 

“Thank you.” You whispered. “Let’s get out of here, he won’t stay unconscious for long. We’ve got to call the police.” 

The two of you walked outside to the porch, and were met with tons of flashing blue lights and sirens. Three cars had responded, all of the officers were jumping out to run to your door. 

“How did they know?” You asked Jake. 

“When I got here, I heard you screaming inside. I dialed 911, told them your address quickly, and left my phone in my pocket. They must’ve heard the whole thing.” He stammered out. You glanced to his neck, already turning purple from Andy’s hand. 

The officers approached you, asking a thousand questions in a blurry 15 seconds. You and Jake told them the gist of the story as best you could, and two officers went inside your home while the other stood with you. 

“An ambulance is on its way, both of you need to get checked out, ok? Don’t take this lightly, it seems you were both deprived of oxygen for enough time to make it count.” He said. You both nodded, agreeing that it probably wasn’t a bad idea. 

“I saw you earlier this morning, right? At the office with the burglary?” He asked Jake. 

“Yes sir, the guy inside is the one we identified as the one who stole everything.”

“Hmph. Well, I hate that these were the circumstances, but your office is pressing hard charges. We’ve got him, now. You won’t see him for a very long time.” He went on, and you felt immediate relief at his words. 

“Oh, and ma’am?” You looked at him, “Good job apprehending the intruder. You did half our job for us.” You nodded as you looked back to Jake, a tiny smile forming on his lips. 

“Sir?” Jake said, gesturing to Andy’s knife on the banister. 

The officer nodded. “I’ll get an evidence bag.” 

The two of you sat down on the porch steps, hand in hand and head to head as you listened to the ambulance sirens approaching. The sun was beating down on your faces, and suddenly everything that had happened to you in the past week was minuscule in contrast to what happened today. Though you still felt some sort of resentment toward Jake, and you still didn’t know how to process it or what was going to happen with you, it paled in comparison to what could have happened today. 

He took your hand in his, fingers intermingling as he brushed his thumb on your skin. 

“You saved my fuckin life, Y/N.” He whispered, kissing the side of your head, holding his lips there for as long as he could before pulling away. 

Your heart fluttered as you took a deep breath, pulling yourself closer into him, “No I didn’t, you were just gonna pass out.” You laughed. 

“No, I think you really did, baby.” He said quietly. 

For a while, neither of you said much, just basked in the comfort of being there, present and alive, with each other. But you couldn't help the nagging feeling at the back of your mind. Turning to face him, you let your eyes meet his.

“Jake, I think we need to talk…”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 18

@gretavansara@jordie-gvf-admin@starshine-wagner @eyelinerjake@gretavanfvckface@gretavanmoon@misshunnybeebee@fretaganvleet@gvfpal@joshkiszkas@ascendingtostardust@raviolilegs@sammysprincess@gvfpal@objectsinspvce@lallisonl@gvfpal@raviolilegs@jaketlover@ascendingtostardust @indigostreakmorgan@jakemarrymeibeg@fakeplastiqtree@radmads-gvf @fwzco @katelynn-gvf @writingcold @jakesgrapejuice @jakekiszkasbabymama @emsfallingsky @gretavanbear @ejoygvf @beebloopbleep @mackalah @weneedsomehealing123 @reesetrippingthelight @lightmylove-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf@fulltimecynical@ageofbajabule@ageofsinners@indigostreakslut @profitofthedune @katelynn-gvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @joshskittytickler21 @mp0801@starcatcherry @samsbirks @darianh07 @cassiesgreta @becinabubblegvf @hanntisocial @demonrat444

[writing-whump]

A punch to the gut

Dylan wants to see a real wolf fight. It isn't exactly safe. First time meeting Rip. A bit of violence, blood and emeto.

Dylan didn't want to meet Isaiah Wolfson, yet everywhere he went to the city, the guy kept following him around.

Was the guy as tough as Isaiah Wolfson? Is there an Executioner as strong as Isaiah Wolfson? Did you ever meet Isaiah Wolfson?

Oh my god. There was no escape of hearing the name.

But Dylan didn't want to meet this surely stuck up arrogant wolf with a giant shadow. And it wasn't because he must have been wealthy as heck or had reputation over three countries or was from the coolest, most powerful wolf family with probably the best training in the world.

It was the least because he managed to charm his sister away from them. That was one reason Dylan would never admit to and never forgive.

Okay, they weren't getting along that much, when he was 17 and his shadow was all over the place and his grades took a nose dive...and yeah, Seline was academic and too smart and a show off and always the best at everything that his parents expected him to be at least half as good at.

But she was his sister and he missed her. It felt like giant fail that she moved to Vienna without him (1) that she found a pack in matter of months after leaving (2) and that she had the Isaiah Wolfson for a boyfriend. Jesus fucking Christ. It couldn't be any worse.

While Dylan was the famous packless high school dropout of 19 that had loving but entirely human parents and absolutely no connections to get into one.

Yeah, he had friends in all towns he lived in, in Bratislava and in Vienna, from primary school and high school and then the other high school and then from the little summer jobs and bigger jobs he kept switching up.

He had many wolf friends too. Peers. Other pups. They sparred together and worked out and gave each other tips on the best shakes to get the right kind of toned muscles. And boxed and trained and everything.

But they had their own packs and now they had girlfriends and dads they could spar with and not protect.

Yeah, he was ungrateful. He had great loving parents. Who loved staying home and working in the garden, making their own tomatoes and shit. It was awesome.

For them.

It was boring as hell to a 19 years old shadow wolf, who just wanted to feel like...like a proper wolf for once.

And yes, he had advantages for being so "human". He was one of those rare wolves who had friends across packs, who also got along with human kids his age, who was great at break dancing, got invited to every and each big beach volleyball play on the Donaukanal. He was invited to all parties, human, wolf, everything.

But he wasn't a damn witch to be invited into a pack in three months. And he wasn't Isaiah fucking Wolfson to be recognised on the streets.

So when Dylan heard of that not so offal street fighting ring in the lawless district, where wolves of different packs could fight with shadows and fists - unsupervised - he was intrigued.

His friend was explaining the risks and safety measures and the rules that came with wolf fights and shadows in public and blablabla.

Dylan heard 'unsupervised' and 'wolf fight' and knew what to do with his Friday night.

He was a decent fighter. Maybe never been in a real fight, like hostile 'we aren't friends' kind of fight, but he would do well, right?

No better way to learn a bit how he would fare.

...

He imagined it a bit like an underground Fight club, not a few wet streets between apartments, but hey. It was a start.

The wolves looked the right kind of scary. Torn up shirts and even earrings! The guy had to pierce his ear everyday for it to work, his shadow would heal it up with each sweep.

He watched the fights in fascination. There really was no referee, just a circle of wolves and the two guys currently fighting.

No shirts, contact allowed, no gloves. And shadows, all naked and black slashing out at each other.

Maybe the pavement wasn't wet just from yesterday's rain. Now that he looked closer, maybe it was kind of bloody too.

He had never been in a party where the wolves truly made the best of their healing. Meaning, they didn't mind getting injured quite drastically. Making them lives bleed or tear up the arms or muscles or break bones, knowing they would heal up with a sweep.

Or until morning.

"Hey. What pack are you from?" It came from the guy with huge arms in a white undershirt.

"Oh, me? I'm Dylan Sil-"

"No, dumbass. Your pack."

"I'm packless at the moment," Dylan said with a grin. "You?"

The wolf threw a look behind him, then returned the smile. Though there was something about the crookedness of it that didn't seem genuine to Dylan.

"Forrester. And my friend over there is from the Starks." He said it in a way like Dylan should know them. Dylan was a little behind on all the names and packs he should keep track of.

There were the old ones, but he wasn't sure if that meant they had the oldest members (guys that looked 40 but were actually 140) or they were in the city the longest.

Then there was pack order by size and number of branches, which wasn't necessarily by importance, money, property, profession or size of district they claimed as territory. And allainces. And proness to fights.

To cut it short, there were many factors. None of which involved Dylan or that someone would explain to him, cause a wolf with human parents was apparently super rare.

Not the fun kind of rare.

"How long do you have to wait for a round?" Dylan asked. Conversation was good right? "Is there like a list or...?"

The guy chuckled. "Hey, Toby. This guy says he wants a round."

"Can you get me inside the ring?" Dylan asked hopefully.

"Nah, man. Only proven guys get into the ring."

"How can you prove yourself?"

The guy snickered, joined up by who was apparently Toby. And another guy to his left.

"You need a lesson. A testing fight so to say."

Dylan was starting get a bad feeling about this. "One on one?"

All three of them laughed. "Nah, newbie. Someone's gotta teach ya the rules."

Dylan wasn't sure how they got away from the crowd, but no one seemed to mind. The circle around the two current fighters cheered and laughed and screamed.

And he was pushed out, just a few meters away, but somehow with his back to the wall. "Hey," Dylan repeated the greeting he heard. "Maybe this is a misunderstanding. You guys could-"

"What? You wanted to fight, didn't you?"

Dylan frowned, eyes narrowing. "I can take you. One by one, so it would be fair, but I can take you like this too. You don't know what you are playing with."

This was posture. Or maybe pure belief. Dylan just knew that face to face to a wolf, you never showed fear. You needed to convince your attackers you were too much of a hassle to fight.

Or so he heard.

The first guy chuckled while the two others exchanged hungry grins.

Dylan crouched down, thinking of the boxing gloves in his backpack somewhere at the feet of the crowd, calling up his shadow.

That triggered another round of laugh from them. It was a little disheartening.

"Oi. What do you guys think you are doing?"

The guy - the wolf - that showed up wasn't the tallest. He didn't have the biggest muscles and he wasn't the oldest either.

If anything, he looked scrawny. Average high, a mop of curly black hair that needed a haircut, his clothes kind of torn up and dirty.

But the trio of would be attackers still froze, each of them averting their gaze.

"We are just playing around with some fresh meat, Rip," Toby said. "He is new. He doesn't know the rules."

"So you are helping out?" Rip said dryly.

The first guy, the one in the white undershirt, growled. "He is ours. Go find your own."

Rip focused his eyes on him. They looked dark from the distance but Dylan thought they weren't black. What kind of colour was it? They looked like catching a sunlight on a sharp knife.

"You are on my turf. You need my permission to fight." He nodded towards the ongoing fight. "You want to fight somebody without it, you fight me."

Even the big guy ducked his head this time. "He needs a fucking lesson."

Rip shrugged. "Alright."

Dylan blinked. That wasn't the kind of answer he expected.

Before he could brace himself or even move, there was a smear in the air and suddenly there was a leg shooting up, kicking his feet from under him.

Dylan fell flat on his back, his shadow flailing around in confusion.

Rip was above him, his leg on the top of Dylan's neck. "You came to fight, eh? You forgot to ask."

Dylan tried to say something, but the weight on his throat intensified. Probably a rhetorical question.

"Let me show you how it's done."

The last thing Dylan remembered was Rip's sneaker heading towards his face.

...

Dylan woke up with taste of iron on his tounge.

He shot up into a sitting position, doubling over as pain immediately flared up in his ribs. His right side was burning.

Gingerly, he reached out towards his face. It had fried blood all over it, from his nose and mouth.

He spit on the ground, doubling over himself. His stomach was doing somersaults as if trying to catch him up on the events.

"How stupid can you be to say you are packless?"

Dylan whirled around towards the voice.

Rip was sitting just a few meters away. Ripped jeans and a bloody shirt with short sleeves, but somehow still radiating danger.

"That's the one thing you never, ever say, even if it was true. Makes you an easy target, fool."

Dylan blinked in confusion. Wasn't Rip the one who kind of saved him...and then kind of beat him up?

He rolled his shoulders, trying to make an overview of what was hurting. His stomach was one thing, his ribs, his nose, his throat...he reached for his shadow then, in a way he never did before. But it was there, jumping to respond, happy and willing as always.

It wasn't something he ever had to. It was usually just fun or a twist of an ankle or hurting teeth.

But this time he pulled his shadow over himself like blanket. The wave of needless ran through him, prickling in a soothing way.

Dylan let out a deep relieved breath as the pain disappeared, carried away by his shadow as it settled back down.

He looked at Rip, understanding downing on him as his skull stopped throbbing. "Thank you."

That had the other wolf jumping up to his feet with a snarl. "Don't you say that. I didn't help you."

Dylan smiled. "Of course you did. You saved me from being torn to pieces by three by beating me up yourself. Really smooth. Not the most comfy approach," he said with a wince. Somehow his stomach was still rolling inside him, despite the healing.

"You are an idiot. What are you doing here?"

Dylan carefully got to his feet, not liking how Rip towered over him when standing. "Just looking around. Exploring." He gave him a wide grin, hoping there wasn't blood stuck on his teeth. "What pack rules here?"

"Why do you think it's called the lawless district, huh? So that wolves could claw at each other in the open, without pesky humans."

"But we can't use our shadows in public to seriously hurt someone.."

Rip's head went back. "That's the kind of rules that work in the center. Where humans would get scared if your shadow as much as stuck out. Not here. You could freaking die here, man."

Dylan nodded, trying to take it seriously. The intent in those guys definitely wasn't friendly. He had a little trouble focusing though, with the nausea making the hair on the back of his head stand up.

He swayed a little. It just all seemed so foreign and too far away from reality. His reality.

Rip shook his head. "You better head home, city boy. This is not the park for you."

But that was exactly why Dylan was there. To prove it was, that he could make his way- a sudden burp snuck out.

Dylan pressed his hand against his lips, swaying again. What the hell was this about?

His stomach rolled and flipped and then suddenly rocked up with a twist.

Dylan barely manged to brace himself on his knees before his lunch loudly lurched out of him onto the grass. They were standing on grass?

Dylan burped, his stomach churning angrily. "I don't-uuuurp- understand. I just healed up-" another wave of vomit shot up his throat and splashed in the grass between his feet.

Rip sighed. "Punch to the gut. You can heal the injury, but not the effect."

"Oh, that's interesting, I never heard- urghh..." Dylan vomited again, almost losing his balance. He managed to take a few steps away from the pool of sick, falling to his knees.

Everything was spinning, so leaning his forehead against the cool grassy ground felt good. Grounding.

"Nice meeting you. Rip, right?" he said in the general direction of the other boy. "I'm Dylan." Which would have been a lot cooler of an introduction if he didn't burp right after. He wrapped both his hands around his stomach as it bubbled, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Hey, Dylan," Rip said, sounding nearer. He sat down near the sick wolf. Not moving closer, but not moving away in disgust. "You just hurled all over your shoes."