#but you don't need any knowledge of the game to understand this fic!

[datheetjoella]

Sweet Spring Seed

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: Free! Rating: G Prompt: MakoHaru week 2024 spring equinox special prompt: strawberries & cream Word count: 3,401 Summary: Haruka recently moved to Stardew Valley to take over Blue Creek Farm, which was left to him by his late grandmother, and he hasn't met many of the townspeople yet. When attending the anual Egg Festival, Haruka might make his very first friend.

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After he finished watering the last of his potato plants, Haruka put down his watering can and wiped the light sheen of sweat off his brow bone. He was slowly getting used to the farm life, but his arms hadn’t quite gotten used to the weight of the watering can yet. Once he made enough gold, he was going to invest in some sprinklers.

It had been a few weeks since he moved to Stardew Valley and took over Blue Creek farm, which he inherited from his late grandmother. The corporate life in the city had never been the right fit for him, but Haruka was a creature of habit so he usually took the road of the least resistance. Packing up everything he had and starting over in a new place had been a daunting prospect. He’d loved the summers he spent at his grandmother’s picturesque farm when he was little, but Haruka despised change and therefore, hadn’t taken any steps to take over until years after she passed. Not until he felt like he’d claw his eyes out if he spent another minute at his monotonous desk job.

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[kneelingshadowsalome]

FATUM NOS IUNGEBIT 2/4

König x F!Reader

Summary: You have seen him in your dreams. The seer has divined his coming. But nothing has prepared you for witnessing him in the flesh. (Historical AU where König fights for the Roman Empire in an auxiliary unit, finds a cute barbarian woman and decides to keep her as his own.) Part 1 here. Word count: 5.1 k Tags/warnings: 18+ ONLY. Spoils of war/enemies to lovers trope, graphic depictions of violence, historical gruesomeness, pining, odd banter, mixed feelings, romantic fluff, dubcon cuddling, eventual smut. Captor/captive dynamic. König is a brutal warrior... and a gentle giant. A/N: Part two! I don't usually rec music for my fics but if this fic was a song, it would be Dead can Dance’s In Power we Entrust the Love Advocated.

You wake up with a giant plastered on your back.

His bed is far more comfortable than your own, soft and cushy, and there must be flowers somewhere in the hay because there is a surprisingly pleasant odour lingering in the air as you come to. The mattress overall doesn’t reek of too much sweat: some poor slave must change the fillings often enough for König’s stench not to settle on the bed. Actually, you’ve slept quite nicely, despite being embraced by an ogre the whole night.

König has slept like a stone, too, but stirs when you start to shift. You turn on your back and find his drowsy stare on you: it’s generous and warm as he pulls you closer to him. You could roll your eyes when you notice he’s hard down there again – he’s probably hard all the time, whether in bed with a woman or raging on the battlefield, sticking his swords into some poor man’s gut.

“Gut geschlafen?” He asks, and you reckon he’s trying to ask if you’ve slept well – in his domain, in his embrace, after he just slaughtered half of your village.

You give him another pout, which is starting to become your signature expression now. He replies to your grumpiness with a smile, his own trademark move, the one that threatens to strip you from all your arms. He squeezes you fondly against his chest, and then his hand starts to wander: he plays with your tits again, then slinks further down to brush your navel. When he crosses the border and heads straight toward your womanhood, you seize his arm.

He whines softly at your refusal, but to your surprise, he actually stops. You let him go as he moves back up and stay immobile under his touch, amidst the flowery scent and the faint stench of dirt and man sweat, sighing as he cups your breast again. He doesn’t seem to get enough of them, and they’re beginning to feel sore: he gave them so much attention last night already and is now at them again.

You pull his hand away, but this time, he doesn’t respect your wishes but resists you. Trying to hinder a man who’s as strong as a bull is futile, but you have an attempt at it anyway. It turns into a play fight: you wrench his hand down, he drags it back up. Up and down and up and down, as if your breast is a hill he needs to conquer at all costs. But he’s the only one who finds any amusement in your silly game: eyes narrowing again with a smile, a few soft chuckles under that hood telling you he enjoys it when you fight him a little.

It all ends when you finally slap him.

It’s neither a good nor a hard slap, and his mask muffles whatever sound was supposed to give you at least some measure of satisfaction. 

But he stops... And laughs.

“Ja, ich weiß. Ich habe deine Leute getötet. Ich verdiene eine Ohrfeige.”

His language is harsh and throaty, abrupt, and you tell him that, safe with the knowledge that he can’t understand a word you say either.

“You talk ugly,” you complain and watch him up and down, searching for a clue that would tell you that he somehow understands your insult. König simply thunders with another mirthful laugh at your morning crank.

“Es ist schön, mit dir zu reden. Aber jetzt muss ich weg.”

He looks down at you like he’s the Sun God now, thoroughly life-giving and kind. Then he dares to bend forward and press a kiss on your forehead.

“Go away,” you try to push him back with your hands - the hood prevents you from feeling his skin and breath and lips, but the… intimacy is still too much.

“Brute,” you want to spit the word out but end up sounding like a child attempting to quarrel instead. And he’s laughing at you again, both with his eyes and his mouth, covered by that darned hood. You don’t know why on earth you would think that such a charming laugh must come from an equally charming mouth.

He finally retreats and rises from the bed, stretching out his arms. The broad muscles on his back are exposed to the frigid air and his cock is jutting out, long and veined, completely unaffected by the cold. This beast is ripe and ready for another day, and you swallow when you see him in his full glory again, tall and wide and strong, looking like he’s about to eat an entire boar and fuck ten women in the process.

“Schön,” he comments as he turns to look down at you, lying naked and sweet there in his bed. He looks at you like you are the most lovely, adorable, difficult little thing. He even gives his horse cock a few good strokes while taking your sleepy little pouts in.

“Ugly,” you slur back, and he winks at you. 

Gods… You’re too hot and riled to even speak.

You choose to vehemently stay in bed as König starts his day: eats some fruit from the table - still naked - pours himself some wine and washes his mouth with it, tears a handful of bread from a loaf and starts to eat with his mouth open, munching loudly under that hood, walking around without bothering to cover himself and that ungodly erection that is bouncing in the air without a care in the world.

You, on the other hand, escape back under the warm covers of the furs, but your eyes never leave König. He draws the draping flap of his tent aside - still naked - giving his soldiers a good view of his morning wood, a lovely chance to get a look at their champion. Perhaps it’s his way of saying good morning, you think bitterly. Then he leaves, probably to take a piss, and you’re more and more convinced that this man is the worst beast that has ever walked this earth.

You’re still under the furs when he returns and finally gives you the grace of clothing himself. It’s stupid that you mourn losing the sight of those shoulders and feel a bit disappointed when his cock disappears under the red tunic. His manhood doesn’t look any less intimidating even when growing soft; it’s still long and veiny and thick, and you find yourself… curious. Just curious.

He doesn’t put his armour on this time, chooses to wear only his tunic and sandals and a pair of hard-boiled leather cuffs to protect the vital veins on the wrists. He does take one Gladius with him, though - a sign of distrust in his own men or a Roman custom, you can’t tell.

He’s already at the mouth of the tent when he turns and points at you, now with a good amount of sternness in his voice.

“Du. Bleibst.”

…

He’s away the whole day. Probably drawing plans at some field war council, eating and drinking and bouncing some poor girl on his knee. 

Even the thought makes your nose wrinkle and your stomach churn. Of course there are other trophies, and of course men want to show them off, pass them around, give their commanders a chance to give each woman a good squeeze. König has probably stuck that cock into a few women by now. Moaning, screaming women. 

Or then he just settles for annoying their poor senses out of them…

You can’t deny that you’re relieved he hasn’t thrown you to the wolves yet, not even after you denied him. Wondering why on earth he would even want to listen to your wishes gives you an awful headache, and the image of him laughing at - or with - some other shy captive girl is making you uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that you throw the skins away after noon, and decide you’re not going to just succumb to your fate, least of all give in to sadness and apathy. 

You eat this and that from his table like you’re not a slave girl but an honoured guest, a queen. You eat his figs and his bread and some smoked meat; you even drink some of his wine, as sour as it is. You’re a bit tipsy when you go through all his belongings, which are not as abundant or exciting as you thought they would be. 

You thought you’d find tiny chests filled with gold coins and rings. You thought you’d come by dried body parts taken as trophies, perhaps the crown of some long-forgotten Hibernian king. But there are only a few trinkets under his bed, a huge bow and some arrows, his armour and the second Gladius, perfectly stored above the ground so that rust and mould wouldn’t bite them. There are jugs of wine and some firewood and oil for the braziers, there’s water and benches and the table and lots and lots of candles in different shapes and sizes… But that’s it. There’s no hoard, no treasure, nothing to prove to you that this brute is just another Roman soldier trying to gather a fortune by raping and pillaging so that he can go and retire early from all the bloodshed.

And it makes you shiver. Does he do this just for the sake of it, only because he enjoys killing so much? What is his reason to fight?

The only item that sends an odd sting in your heart is a small wooden statue. You feel like a thief when you rummage through a small satchel you find next to his breastplate, the only place you didn’t feel like peeking into because it looked so… personal. 

Proving to yourself that you don’t care about his privacy or feelings, you end up pushing your fingers inside it anyway, meeting this peculiar carved piece of wood. There is nothing else there in the satchel, just the statue, and you feel yourself swallow a lump in your throat as you see it depicts a lush, buxom woman. Her breasts are nearly the size of her belly, larger than her head, and you realize that it is clearly the statue of the Great Mother this brute carries with him.

You put it back quickly, feeling a tingling in your fingers and a rapid flutter in your heart, as if you had just poked into something quite sacred. And it is sacred, the Mother. You wonder why, for the love of all the gods, this man would keep such a divine and fertile amulet near him. The statue is supposed to be a vessel for wishes and fortune; it is an idol of worship. König seems like the last man on earth to take up worshipping women.

You just want to get out of this place but can’t. There’s no one to go back to: your chief is dead, the people have fled, the rest of the warriors are scattered across the land. You have no idea where your brother might even be. 

You have no wish to escape this tent; you have no desire whatsoever to step a foot outside and show yourself to his hungry men. 

König comes back after nightfall and is not surprised at all to find you haven’t escaped. He’s not surprised that you have eaten some of his food either; he doesn’t even scold you. But then the eternal groping starts again as he gets undressed and lays himself down next to you.

You don’t even know why you allow him to touch you. Perhaps it’s because you know it’s better to just let him caress you if he wants; it’s better to suffer the weight of his hands on you if it means he won’t rape you with that cock. If you don’t complain, perhaps he will settle for squeezing and petting and stroking you.

But your body is a traitor: it’s hungry for him, for some ungodly reason, and always craves for more. You say to yourself that you only allow this to happen because it’s a condition, a compromise, a meeting in the middle. You never acknowledge the way your nether lips puff up like a fat flower every time he fondles your breasts. You pay no attention to how wet you get when he caresses your face, your waist, even your thighs, every part of you except the place between your legs, the place you kind of want him to touch... If only he would be gentle and didn’t get too excited, you’d let him touch you there, too, as sick and accursed as it is.

And it’s all good until he starts to hum. 

It may be some song from his homeland, the land of ugly brutes, but it’s not a crude giant song… In fact, it’s a rather beautiful, melancholy tune. Your body is relaxed and your pussy is wet; your nipples are tight and pleased as he pets you slowly, lovingly - but that song is too much. You don’t want him to see you cry, not even a single tear, and now there’s an entire flood about to occur.

“Don’t touch me,” you whisper, trying not to choke on your sorrow. He doesn’t stop - of course he doesn’t. He gets bolder by the day, and he can see that you’re enjoying yourself. In a way.

"Magst du es gestreichelt zu werden?" He asks, soft and tender, so incredibly gentle that the tears are about to burst forth at any given moment now.

“Ich glaube das tust du,” he rumbles when you don’t answer him. His hand is heavy and broad on your hip as he finally stops caressing you. You squeeze your eyes shut, and it causes the glimmer in your eyes to fall. Tears roll down your cheeks and into your hair, as you lie there next to a titan, about to shatter into a million pieces.

“Wurdest du schon einmal berührt…?”

You want to shout at him to shut up already, to stop talking so gently, asking you questions you don’t understand, to stop trying to find a way to communicate with you through song and hum and touch. The hand on your hip moves, slowly, with devastating cunning towards your core. He’s about to touch you there, to try and feel if you’re wet... If you’d like it that he pounded you a little. You wonder if he would do that gently too, and almost laugh through your tears. It will be your undoing if he finds out that you’re soaked all the way to your thighs, aching to feel him inside you, even a finger, just something…

“No… Nein,” you rule out sternly, opening a new way of communication. You don’t know if the word is correct, but he catches it immediately and stops. 

“Nein?”

He sounds both happy and sad; happy that you try to use his language, sad that you use it to give him such a disappointing command.

“No touching,” you repeat and open your eyes, finding his hazy figure hovering above you. You barely discern the gulf of sadness in his eyes, but it is there: undisguised, trying to reach out and join with yours. Gods… How strangely appropriate it is that you are both so very alive, wanting to be devoured by each other’s hunger and lust, only to find yourselves on the brink of tears and hollow loss.

“No... No touching…”

“Verstanden.” 

He takes his hand away from you and turns, not even joining you under the fur tonight.

…

The next morning, you wake up attached to him.

Somehow you’ve managed to wriggle under his furs and, on top of that, crawled to hug his side like this. You blame the spring cold for it, of course. Your heart bangs against your ribs as you notice how tightly you’re squeezing him, breasts pressed flush against his hard middle, belly fluttering against his hip. You’ve even draped your leg across his so that your poor, lonely cunt is resting right there over his thigh. 

You swear in your mind with all the words and terms you know and can think of.

How the hell are you supposed to detach from a giant without waking him up? His arm is around you, holding you loosely in a warm, pleasing shackle. He feels so, so good - blazing, big and safe, so incredibly nice. You never knew sleeping next to a man could feel so nice. You’re half asleep still, mainly because his body and scent make you feel like you’ve had too much wine again.

You allow yourself a few more moments before you rip yourself off him. Or at least, try to: the arm snares you the instant you attempt to move. It prevents you from leaving him, and you end up hovering awkwardly there, almost on top of him, tits pointing straight at his face, panicked, doe-eyed stare guided to his unwavering blue eyes, open, and regarding you with warm love.

And the damned man smirks again.

“No touching?” He inquires with silly, completely feigned shyness.

“Shut up,” you breathe and try to get off of him, but his other hand comes to brush your cheek next, and you freeze.

“Schön… Pretty,” he tries, and you nearly whimper at the sound of your native tongue in his mouth. 

Pretty… Is that what the word means, the odd ugly word he has repeated ever since he stole you?

His eyes are warm and his hand is gentle as he caresses your cheek, and the snare around your waist tightens. Softly… Invitingly.

“Stop it,” you whisper, on the brink of tears again, because this time, your shields and armour and weapons are gone. You just woke up to a feeling of odd contentment, fulfilment, even joy. 

And it’s not right. 

He has no right to be this gentle with you.

You sniffle and sigh, and cast your eyes down to the chest that belongs to a giant. But you can’t deny that there must be a heart under there. A human heart under your palm. Your hand is right there over the strong beat because you’ve tried to push yourself away, and he won’t let you go. Another tear falls somewhere in the hair of his chest, and he rumbles with such compassion that you want to slap him again, hit his chest with your tiny little fists and bawl.

What you do instead is break down and let the ocean take you. You cry and sob and wail, right there in front of him, until he turns you on your stomach and comes to rest halfway on top of you. Through your tears, you understand that he’s trying to soothe you with his weight. It’s pure insanity how well it works. It releases a whole well of grief, and you start to shake with the cries; your whole body shudders with the sorrow as you retch it all out while König continues to caress you like a pet. He strokes your hair, pets your back, he even pats your ass as if you’re just a baby.

You cry long and hard, so long that he eventually lets out a long, deep sigh. When you’ve calmed down a bit and remain still, sniffling occasionally while squeezing the furs in your fist, trying to remember what it is to be an animal with feelings other than just sorrow, he leaves you.

He simply rises, and gets dressed, and leaves.

That is very much what you don’t need right now, much to your surprise. He was good at consoling you, as odd as it sounds.

Cold starts to creep in when there is no warm body next to you, and your skin misses the calloused gentleness of his palms. You wouldn’t mind if he wanted to hum that song to you now. But the darned bastard had to leave just when you were about to turn and cup his hooded face in return...

König comes back after a short while, but he’s not alone. You gather the furs against your chest, horrified and angry when you notice he returns to the tent with a short old man, vigorous and busy, but so tiny in stature that you doubt he was ever a warrior. You wonder if this is another foreigner or if you have the dubious pleasure of meeting your first genuine Roman.

They both stare at you, quite nonchalantly, while you sit there on the bed and try to cover your nakedness with animal skins while having red eyes and a pair of uninviting, quivering, puffed-up lips. 

The short fellow looks you up and down, then turns to talk to König in what appears to be this giant’s mother tongue. It’s a curt suggestion, muttered under his breath, and you realize König must’ve fetched a translator for you.

Oh, good Mother... Great Mother.

You watch these two men before you in a state of stunned shock, as König looks at you, then back at the old man, and nods. The Roman looks slightly vexed as if he just got up too. Then he starts to speak.

“Excuse our manners... We are men at war. If you wish to get dressed, we will wait outside.”

You blink at your own language being spoken to you, perfectly discernable but accompanied by a thick accent. You nod, and the men leave, returning only after you’ve dressed and cleared your throat in the tent.

“He asks if he killed your husband,” the translator starts immediately while König goes to sit on his favourite Roman bench. You’re wide awake now, and the nauseating feeling of being suddenly in the middle of an interrogation rises to your throat with a clot.

“He… What? No,” your eyes dart to König, who is looking at you with his undying ardour. For a man with so much sadness in his soul, he’s surprisingly carefree when he wants to.

“Do you have a husband?”

You gulp at the questions levelled at you. König keeps watching you intently, and you choose to look at the old translator instead, shaking your head slowly. The men exchange a few words, and the Roman turns to scold you with his stare.

“Master reminds you that it is wrong to lie,” he says, putting a lot more weight on his words this time. Roman or not, he calls this giant master, which means that he is just another slave in this camp. You swallow again and try to think, think, think; all the while König’s stare strips you of all your pretences, garments and words.

He thinks you’re trying to hide some imaginary husband, you understand and consider whether you should say that you have a husband: if there is any benefit you could gain from such a lie. König would only probably try to hunt him down… But what if he found out you were telling him tales? Would he feed you to his horny war dogs then?

“I’m not lying,” you say through slightly gritted teeth.

There is another exchange of words before the translator turns to you again.

“Are you untouched?”

“What…?”

“Master asks if you are a virgin.”

The translator is utterly unfazed, and mainly looks like he has better things to do than get to the bottom of whether there has been a cock inside you yet.

“That’s none of his business,” you hiss. The old man turns and starts to translate your words with a dull look.

“Wait—don’t tell him that,” you take a panicked step forward. 

Oh good Father in the Sky… Strike these men down so that I may be freed from them.

They pay you no attention; a few sentences pass from mouth to mouth, and the old man nods.

“Master says you are clearly a maiden,” he declares. You peek a glance at König, who is looking at you with hunger, and not the kind of hunger people look at their breakfasts with. Your breathing is getting out of hand, and when he opens his legs wider, clearly making more room for a rising cock, you decide to throw caution in the wind.

“You know what? Your master can go fuck himself with a stick for all I care…!”

The old man turns. He doesn’t even care to sigh; he merely opens his mouth to give your words to König.

“Don’t you dare translate that!” 

Finally, the old man sighs. He looks at the ceiling as if begging his gods to take him away from this tent. König’s stare flashes between you two, and he is evidently curious. Clearly, this is the most exciting conversation he’s ever had.

“Was sagt sie?”

“Tell him that I want to be freed,” you hurry to say before the translator can tell your insults to König. After a brief conversation, König leans forward in his chair to see the effect his words have on you.

“He says he can’t do that,” the Roman informs. “His soldiers will find you and take you.”

You close your mouth and try to even your breaths. No one says, You don’t want that. Everybody in this tent knows you don’t want that.

“He asks if he killed your brother or your father.”

You sniffle, quite involuntarily.

“No. He didn’t.”

“Then why are you angry and sad?”

There is a hint of genuine interest in the man’s voice. Both of these men are confused as to why you would bawl your eyes out after the massacre of your people.

"Because… Because he…"

“He says it is a man’s duty to die in battle. You should be proud of your fallen ones, not cry and feel sorry for them.”

“Tell him that he can go fuck himself,” you shout, not giving a single shit anymore about whether he translates the words or not. 

To no one’s surprise, he does.

“He says he’d rather fuck you,” he returns to you with König’s message.

You can’t bear to look your captor’s way, and still, that’s exactly what you do. You look at the giant as he stares at you, keen and hard and patient. But you know his patience has its limits. It’s almost like a promise, the way he leans forward in that chair and looks at you from under the hood, shameless and challenging.

“Never,” you guide your words to König now. It’s a brave little whisper, but you know that it’s a lie. Even the Great Mother knows you’re lying. You almost hear the cackle of the old woman rising from the earthen ground, from the chthonic depths, to mock you and your vows.

You hear the old man’s words from somewhere far away, from underwater, as König’s stare wrestles you down and takes away your little knife. He subdues you even when he’s sitting, and shares a string of words: a harsh promise. You hold your breath as his cock gives a pulse under that tunic, and your eyes fall, fall, fall onto it, because there’s no escape…

“He says he can make you feel good,” the voice says, and you can’t even hear who speaks. Your mouth is full of water, but you swallow it down, then shoot your way up to the surface, up, up, up into the sunlight, until you can breathe again.

You rip your eyes from König and look at the Roman translator with loathing and contempt.

“You can leave now. This conversation is over.”

Then you turn, trying not to pay any attention to the hushed conversation that proceeds behind your back. The man leaves the tent: you can hear it, and you can also hear how König rises from the chair and walks right behind you.

“No… afraid,” his hands come to rest on your shoulders, but you don’t even flinch. You knew he was going to touch you again. Perhaps you were even looking forward to it.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you start to argue, but he doesn’t take the bait.

“You like trees?”

He speaks your words, not good, but he speaks them. You wonder if he has known parts of your tongue all along and has simply concealed it. Has he understood what you’ve said to him…? All the slurs and stupid things? Mother, grant mercy…

“Why would I like—What kind of question is that?”

“Climbed a tree,” he explains cheerfully behind you. You turn and look up, yet again rendered weak. Giants are supposed to be stupid. They’re not supposed to know the language of faeries…

“Nosy,” he brushes your cheek with a smile in his eyes.

“Nosy?” 

You huff - as if you wanted to be there and witness him.

As if you had a choice after the seer pushed you on this insane, cruel path.

“Wanted to see me so bad?” König tilts his head playfully.

Gods… You can only look at him with brows curling with helpless frustration, lip trembling from how he seems to know your every little secret. He nods when you don’t say yes or no. He’s perfectly happy to read all the answers from your eyes.

“Ich wusste, dass es so war,” he changes into his own language, and you don’t need to understand the words he says.

You know he knows. He knows you, he knows you to your core, and it doesn’t really matter in which circumstances you two met. He knows far more than you, something about souls and how they’re supposed to meet, how little squirrels and giants belong together, as crazy as it is. That there is no chance in life: no, it was meant that you two meet. To him, it was no coincidence that you practically dropped into his lap from that tree.

“Did you like what you see?”

He holds your shoulders gently as you quiver and shake inside.

“No,” you peep.

“I like what I see,” he declares; a benevolent god.

…

A/N:. Thank you so much for your love and interest in this fic! As you may have noticed the fic now has 4 parts, which is because the 3rd chapter got too chunky and I had to split it 😇 Next part might take a while because I'm moving soon, but let me tell you... These guys will be put into *situations*. Oh, and a reminder that I don't have a taglist for this so please check any future updates from my pinned masterlist post 🩷

Translations:

Gut geschlafen? - Sleep well?

Ja, ich weiß. Ich habe deine Leute getötet. Ich verdiene eine Ohrfeige. - Yes, I know. I killed your people. I deserve a slap.

Es ist schön, mit dir zu reden. Aber jetzt muss ich weg. - It is lovely to talk to you. But now I have to go.

Du. Bleibst. - You. Stay.

Magst du es gestreichelt zu werden? - Do you like being petted?

Ich glaube das tust du. - I think you do.

Wurdest du schon einmal berührt…? - Have you ever been touched…?

Verstanden. - Understood. 

Was sagt sie? - What does she say?

Ich wusste dass es so war - I knew it was so.

[hellfirenacht]

Being in Hellfire Club HCs

These are mostly for myself to have consistency in my fics.

-Eddie is the one to approach any potential new members. He's been recruiting for 2 years now, and he's very selective. But he can also sniff out a freak a mile away.

-Being part of Hellfire comes with a certain level of protection. Eddie is more than happy to be the big bad wolf to protect his sheep members. Most people leave Hellfire alone because they think Eddie will snap.

-There are the core members of the club (Eddie, Jeff, Gareth, Mike, Dustin, and un-named member who I am calling Zack), as well as subs. Subs are people who were curious and usually approached Eddie first. They have a passing interest, but not enough to risk being associated with the freaks.

-Everyone in Hellfire has cut class at least once to take a nap in Eddie's van.

-Everyone in the club knows that Eddie deals but unless they have intent to buy they keep their mouth shut.

-Eddie won't sell to freshmen. Period.

-The club doesn't do much outside of school. Of course, Corroded Coffin has band practice but that's about it.

-Once in a blue moon they will do "side quest day". The club will go to the arcade and play games and if they manage to impress Eddie, he might give them a buff or inspiration for the next session. This rarely happens though.

-Eddie runs a very tight ship with Hellfire. If you're committed to being part of the club outside of being a sub, you better take it seriously. You absolutely are required to wear the shirt during the school day. He's definitely given out punishments for not wearing the shirt

-He isn't unreasonable though. If you can give him a good reason why you can't do something he's willing to work with you. Eddie has the respect of his club for a reason.

-They absolutely are not allowed to be lighting candles in the prop department, but they do anyway.

-Eddie's chair is his and his alone. Don't try and sit in it. (*If no one else is around you might be able to get away with it. Just don't try it in front of the whole club.)

-Everyone got really into playing cards at lunch for about a month, betting snacks until a teacher shut that down. Sometimes they'll still try and play after school.

-Most of the club has been playing the same character for years from level one. Eddie prefers a clean slate character. Subs are able to create characters closer to where everyone is.

-if you're joining late in the game, you can create a leveled character, but you'll be a few levels behind everyone until you prove yourself.

-If you need to get up and move around a bit during the session, that's alright, but there is a clear line that you can't cross. Try and peak behind the screen and you're in trouble.

-You don't need to have the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons handbook memorized, but he expects at least basic knowledge if you're serious about the club. You absolutely need to understand your character race and class

-Eddie is not afraid of 'rule of cool' if you can sell your point hard enough. He isn't a full rules lawyer, but he isn't here to make this easy. Fun? Yes. Challenging? Frustratingly so.

-There has been a blow out fights over rules before. Tensions were running high with midterms and everyone having a shitty day. Someone's character died, Hellfire was cut short that night as everyone went and cooled off. That was the one time that Eddie scrapped a session and agreed to a do-over.

-Eddie is easier to talk to one-on-one outside of club. He's genuine with his love for Hellfire, but he's more likely to let his walls down when it's just him and someone else.

-He used to skip class a lot, but has been genuinely trying to graduate now. Now he only skips maybe once or twice a month.

-Gareth isn't allowed to have his drumsticks at the table anymore.

[eff-plays]

On these notes, can I umm ... have Tavs who are like ... their own people. With personal issues and hangups and conflicts and preferences. I need Tavs who have spines, who don't just exist to be soft and gentle for Astarion's sake, who don't exist to be therapists for him. Like I get it, it's self-care for writers to some extent, but it just makes for such boring reading when a Tav is always 100% understanding and pliable for Astarion. When they're head over heels instantly and understand him perfectly with minimal explanations. When they can somehow tell, feel his pain through nothing but his eyes. After knowing him for days, hours, seconds.

Need Tavs who don't let him drink from them and/or tell him to only bite enemies because it's more pragmatic. Tavs who don't get off to his bites and in fact find them painful and inconvenient. Tavs who disagree with him to his face. Tavs who call him out when he's being a cunt.

"I didn't tell anyone you're a vampire because it's not my secret to tell" but why? He never asked to keep it a secret, and he attacked you. In your sleep. You owe him nothing, and he could pose an active danger to the others if you don't tell them? How do you know he doesn't? He's done nothing to earn your trust, yet you offer it anyway. And you're not written to be stupid, just that you innately know he's important/damaged somehow, so what gives?

It annoys me that the only time meta knowledge is used it's in his favor. Like Tav just knows he's good deep down somehow. Despite him being a huge cunt constantly. Like, he kills Tav if they fail to make him stop. Without remorse. He even jokes about it later when they have the audacity to be upset about it. But that's never even a fear some Tavs have. When it makes far more sense to be suspicious he'd do that than trusting him instantly.

And another thing like ... So many Tavs are just orbiting Astarion. Just straight up fail to make connections of friendships with anyone else. They'll also have some sad backstory of course, but only Astarion is somehow aware of it, he's the only one who has any insight into their inner turmoil while everyone else doesn't give a shit, I guess. Which is just. He gets to both have the benefit of the doubt and special insight and understanding of Tav. He gets to have all the cards.

Where's the mess. Where's the conflict. Where's the intrigue and fun of two actual individual people learning to overcome their differences and/or finding comfort in their similarities?

Idk I realize I'm barking up the wrong tree because this is generally the state of most fic and the romance genre in general but it's extra evident in the Astarion fandom where he's elevated to the status of the ultimate victim and ultimate sex god so any conflict is untenable because he's soo vunlerable and sensitive and all situations must have him coming out on top or else it'll be ... idk, problematic? Abusive? Traumatic to him? What's the reason?

It ends up just doing him a disservice? Part of what makes the romance so compelling-in game (at least the Spawn route) is that Tav challenges him and his assumptions. That they push back. But in fic these Tavs "push back" by just accepting his bullshit with a smile and waiting for him to realize he's being a bitch on his own, I guess. He's also rarely allowed to be silly or cringefail, which he canonically is, and he's so coddled that it makes it look like this grown-ass man can't handle anyone disagreeing with him or teasing him, so he's always paired up with the most weaksauce spineless soft quirky manic pixie dream Tav imaginable.

Like. It's always "Uwu how can I make him happy? Anything to make him happy!" What about you hon? What do you get out of this relationship, babygirl?

And tbh this is headcanon of course but I just don't think he'd respect a doormat Tav very much. He needs to be sprayed with water every now and then. For his own good.

Whatevs. I mean write whatever you want. But. Man. I just want more cool Tavs. And less stunted and flattened Astarion who can't take a joke or a goof or a gaff, who's always too cool to fail or be wrong.

And before someone says "this is why Durge is better!" I have no interest in Durge and do not read Durge fic sorry. Also that wound't even be true.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Now that CN is over I need more fics to read (I say as if I'm not in the middle of rereading CN and plan to reread ITYSG(AINLY) again because I'm literally obsessed with your fics). Do you have an recs? Also what's your favorite fics/comfort fics (you can include your own)? I always find it interesting to know what the authors of my favorite fics like to read when they aren't writing.

other than my other fics (babysitting in the apocalypse is my other zhongchi fic), i do have a some zhongchi recomendations! sadly i cannot actually go to my bookmarks atm nor provide direct links. i also don't really remember the authors' names of most of them? and you'd have to like.... save them for later, what with ao3 being down and all;; but here are some off the top of my head if you want to get planning:

(once ao3 gets back up i'll update this list with proper links and the authors' names and maybe more recomendations since i do have many more i just can't remember,,)

○ entirely out of spite by Bgtea - i generally assume everyone's already reading this one given how big it is (and how it was kind of my inspiration for cyanide even tho i never said it), but if you're not, holy shit are you in for a good one. literally anything bgtea makes is wonderful. this one is an au based on the premise of a different story, but you don't need any knowledge whatsoever of it to enjoy and understand eoos (tho consider it if you like the premise, bc it's also really good). the rundown is- a mondern ajax dies and wakes up in the body of tartaglia, the antagonist of genshin impact, a game he'd been playing before kicking the bucket. he is tasked by a weird isekai-anime looking menu to fill in the shoes of the antagonist or else, but he's not technically stopped from altering the story just a tiny bit or being ooc, so he goes about trying to play the tartaglia role without meeting the same end as tartaglia (who dies ingame). it's such a good fic i cannot recommend it enough - it's not complete yet, but the wait for each chapter is more than worth it, and bgtea always does an insane amount of research for everything they post.

○ literally any other zhongchi fic by Bgtea. there's this short one about pulcinella or capitano (i can't remember, it might've been pantalone) selling pictures of childe to increase morale in the fatui (something something pr strategies), that one is hilarious. there's another one about zhongli getting stuck as a dragon and childe taking care of him as the world slowly goes to shit from rex lapis being missing (a comment pointed out it might be called "ajax' adventure with dog-lizard" and it sounds about right for me). another one they have is the autumn winds are sighing i think. that one was posted WAY back, some of the info is a bit outdated, but it's still so, so good. i can't remember what it was all about, but i do remember it involves zhongli going to snezhnaya to meet childe's siblings. the pining and tension on that one is off the roof. i should read it again,,,

○ after everything by Amanveth (i think that's how their username is written,,) - literally palate cleansing fluff. there's really good angst as well but it's overall just very sweet and soft, very much a feel-good fic. it's about zhongli and childe going back to being friends after the events of the archon quest and slowly realizing they're in love. it's still ongoing but it updates shockingly fast, and it's a nice little thing to read before going to sleep.

○ the white cicada society by clementinesgulag. still ongoing i think, but i have paused reading it for reasons unrelated to the fic itself, so i can only really atest to the frist arc of it? but holy fuck is the first arc good. the angst is godly in this one, and i'm always a sucker for a good horror mystery. this one is about the gritty and slow reconciliation of post-archon quest zhongli and childe as they investigate a series of awful murders and terrifying paranormal shit (i'm pretty sure) going on in the city. (it might be revealed to not be paranromal later in the fic as that partiuclar plotpoint hadn't yet resolved when i paused it at the end of the first arc, but i wouldn't know. wouldn't make it any less good if it wasn't tho)

○ death became him by Merianon. also still ongoing i think, but part of the many fics i have paused reading for reasons unrelated to them (i have... way too many saved,,,). this one is about childe going back in time after dying and waking up as a god, and the fic starts there, so it's about how the events of the game go with childe as a god and not in the fatui. i can't remember all that much about it tbh, but i remember i really liked it, the concept was so interesting. i'm waiting for it to end.

○ a sight for sore eyes by ToumeiKyoudai. still ongoing afaik, but i paused reading it as of very recently (again for reasons outside of the fic). this one is the events of the game except childe is legally blind. you have no idea how interesting and hilarious this fic is, the premise is so simple but it's so nicely executed. i can't really say all that much more about it since it's basically just that- it's a retelling but childe's blind. and he's so fucking funny. it's all so fucking funny, and the worldbuilding is stellar, and i just really really like it i can't explain why exactly. it's not a comedy! but fuck it's so entertaining.

i have so many more that i wish i could put here but i'm not 100% confident in their titles nor which fic was which (happens when you have a ton bookmarked but have paused reading a lot of them), so i don't want to risk saying this fic is one thing when in reality it's something else completely different,,,

these last two i put below for reasons i'll explain in each of their blurbs, but they're still as recomended as those above!

○ lungs full of roses, by SecretlyACatLady. if this is the title (and i'm 99% certain it is, but i can't check), then this is hands down the BEST hanahaki angst i've ever read. i'm not kidding. this one is very specific in its angst tho, and i gather likely not what everyone is looking for in a hanahaki fic, but holy fuck. basically childe gets hanahaki here but knows he cannot afford to have anyone find out he has it (bc fatui) and also not that he died from it, i think? might be mistaking that particular plotpoint for another fic. anyway- he leaves liyue but zhongli goes to look for him bc he's confused and just wants to apologize for the whole tsaritsa's contract and all. it gets out of hand real quick when the ppl of mondstadt try to help by acting as pushy wingmen and it's so GOOD holy fuck. i've never liked when other characters try to push the main pair together and act all 'just kiss already we all know!' around them, and seeing it backfire as horribly as it could if it were a realistic scenario (tho enhanced bc childe) is so incredibly satisfying. the reason why i put it down here is 1) i'm not 100% sure that's the title and 2) if it hasn't been abandoned, it's been in hiatus for a while now. which is hearbreaking, but it's also such a good fic that i'd honestly recommend it regardless if only for the angst at the start. but i understand not everyone is in for something like that if it doesn't resolve/likely won't resolve (idk if it's abandoned tho but i understand that if a fic takes too long to update, people will fear the worst). so yeah,,

○ non-playable character, by Jouicifer. this one is here exclusively because i'm a sucker for horror mystery - it doesn't mean the zhongchi isn't good, but it's not as prevalent in the plot as in white cicada (another horror mystery), so i can't exactly put it with the other more zhongchi-centric fics? not that the zhongchi isn't here, but. hard to explain. this one is also hard to explain in general, i'm not sure if it's based on the premise of another story or if this is a highly-secific trope/sub-genre in china (i think?), but the author refers to it as 'unlimited flow', so look it up if you want to be sure. either way, much like with eoos, it doesn't matter if you know anything about whatever that might be to enjoy and understand the story. the rundown is childe and a bunch of other people are players in this sort of virtual-reality scenario hopper, where they get put in 'games' with other players where they can die (tho idk if die die irl as well). basically, in the newest scenario they get thrown into, it's a horror murder mystery about a haunted mansion, and their guiding npc is zhongli, whom childe has met in another scenario and whom he is an absolute simp for. god idk how to explain it, it's just so good; but you need to be there for the plot first and the ship second. the ship is there! it's just the plot takes presedence. but holy fuck is the plot good. the reason why it's down here, like lungs full of roses, isn't bc of the plot or the ship being secondary, but... well, it's also been in hiatus for a long while now. to this fic's credit in particular, it was in a long hiatus before, but updated! out of nowhere! and then it went into its current hiatus, so. again, i understand people don't like that, but i'm a patient person so i'm willing to keep it in my bookmarks for as long as it takes (and forever if it gets abandoned). it's just THAT good. and since there's not much horror murder mystery in this fandom (or in fics in general), i'll take whatever i can get. the mystery is good in this one, so it helps.

(edit: added some authors and a fic title, thank you archon-of-chaos and redwormonastring!)

[myers-meadow]

If Haarlep were to become genuinely romantically involved with a mortal, then what would that relationship look like? Would the incubus be jealous or possessive of their partner? Would there be any expectations for exclusivity? Would it be a 'We can sleep with other people, but we are romantically exclusive' kind of situation?

Good question! This is gonna be a long answer, because I just can't shut up <3

There's some lore that I know of that says devils can have cravings for affection, the way mortals do, and that feeling is stronger the closer they are to being humanoid? Something like that at least, but I'm FAR from an expert on lore - i just write silly fics. Anyway, incubi and succubi are closer to humanoid shape, than those insect devils or any else that I have seem some art of. Affection is not the same as love, but it doesn't have to be for it to still be meaningful and fulfilling. I mean, maybe animals can't love, but if that 'mrew' the cat does while jogging up to the door when the owner comes home, isn't love, it at least is enough for me, and enough to make me happy. Those ramblings out of the way,,

Exclusivity... I don't think there's anything like that in the relationship, at least not in the ones my Tav/ocs have with him. Haarlep needs to sleep with others, and corrupt mortals, to feed and live a satisfactory life. I don't know how much or how often they need to feed, but I do think that the appetite could be quite insatiable - give a finger, they take a hand type situation? I mean that, if you give them free reign to feed on you, you may just render yourself fucked out and comatose for a good while 😅.

As for exclusivity on Tav/reader's side... Depends on what they want, too, of course. Possessiveness can be quite hot in fics, so I do enjoy writing it,,, Haarlep, as a devil, is probably selfish enough not to want others to play with his toys. Still, he is understanding of having needs, desires, hunger; especially when you two are apart for a longer time.

Romantically exclusive is a good word for it, maybe. I do see Haarlep and Tav both making comments along the lines of "you better not do this with others", or "you're the only one I ever want to do this with", about bathing together, washing each others hair and body, sensual massages, breakfasts in bed, etc etc. Still, with the descriptions of the narrator of the scene ("every kiss is a lie of true love"), Haarlep deals in mortal affection and love, it's part of his game to lure mortals in so he can feed. So it may be hard to have defined boundaries around this.

Then there is the option, of the Haarlep/Tav/Raphael polycule <3. So then exclusivity is yet another thing to discuss. The vibe I get from Raphael would be that he likes to share much less than Haarlep does - he may even make a rule stating you cant fuck Haarlep while they're in another form than Raphael's. It's still up to you whether you keep to that rule or not, of course. What Raphael doesn't know, can't harm him <3 😊

On a more light-hearted note (half-joking about these), to me a relationship with Haarlep would include;

talking shit about Raphael together

telling him 'i love you' when he's balls deep inside/when you're balls deep inside

and saying it again while you're cuddling after, slick with sweat

rummaging through Raphael's archive, messing up his orderly poetry collection.....

Haarlep is tender and loving and everything you've ever wanted... and he makes sure you stay with him for as long as he wishes you to be, so that he gets to enjoy you and your adoration of him.

exploring new hobbies together, maybe something artistic, and I'm sure Haarlep has enough knowledge about sex positions that him teaching you would keep you busy for months on end.

late nights talking together while laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, tails coiled together but otherwise not touching (is too hot)

ALL of the infernal gossip

being a menace in Raphael's life. Just. Overall.

Later on, after I've written the fics I'm working on and have a better grasp on how I see his character, I'd like to explore Haarlep as someone outside of Raphael's realm of influence. But that's for another day!

xoxo Meadow

[dulcesiabits]

hihi i hope you don't mind me asking but as a writer myself, i'm curious about how your writing process goes :o it's very evident you do a ton of research for your writing and it got me curious about how you go about research and writing as a whole! thank you for your time and have a wonderful day <3

Hi!! I don't mind at all <3 Thank you for sending this ask, because if there's something I love more than writing, then it's talking about the craft of writing! I'll just break down my general process on how I approach writing below <3 Keep in mind that this is both (1) general advice, and (2) specific to how I approach pieces, so it might not work for everyone! In general, I have four major steps: planning, outlining, writing, and then revising/editing!

Planning

The first thing that really happens is that I'll come up with an idea. For fanfic, this usually means I'll get an idea for a scenario I want to explore, or I'll really want to write about a character, and then I'll come up with several ideas that I think would be fun for them! In this stage, I might write a few notes about the premise, just a few sentences about the overall plot/arc I'm looking at. Additionally, I might come up with some general themes/motifs I want to include, but go more in-depth with them in the outlining stage. I'm a bit strange in the sense I tend to plan stories based on general concepts/themes before I delve into the nitty-gritty of characters and plot details (though this process is a bit reversed when I'm writing fanfiction).

I might also do some general research in regards to the premise: for example, I might look over the wiki to refresh my memories on character beats or miscellaneous trivia, or I'll reread certain pages of the manga/rewatch scenes of the anime/replay parts of the game. If I'm writing about a different culture, then I'll look up aspects of the culture that are relevant to my fic (and as with any research, you want to check that you're using reputable sites for accurate information!) Asking friends for their advice/expertise can also be helpful, especially if they're knowledgeable in areas I'm not.

2. Outlining

After I have an idea, I tend to make a really rough outline for how I want the story to go. I don't like planning every minuscule detail, so I leave my outline vague enough that I can be flexible with what I write. I might just draft the overarching plot beats that I want to hit, but then I might change/rearrange scenes depending on what happens as I actually write. I like having an idea of what might happen, but also I don't want my plot to be so rigid I don't have any freedom to play with it, especially because what I write might end up differently from what I planned to happen!

Additionally, I also tend to map out not just what's happening on the page, but also the themes, character arcs and emotional beats. It's not as daunting as it sounds; these things are generally entwined together, as they influence each other! I'm always thinking of them in conjunction with every other piece of the story.

If that's a bit difficult, you can also think about a general mapping technique: tracking the inner, emotional journey and the outer, physical journey, and how these events influence each other or intersect. What shows up on the page, and what's happening beneath it, that might not be as obvious?

In chronologically disjointed pieces, I tend to have an idea of what the chronological timeline looks like before I break it up and rearrange the scenes. I don't believe there are real "rules" when it comes to writing (things like "don't use adverbs" or "first person should only ever be past tense"); any rule can be broken, but you do need to understand the rules before you know how/when to break them in your piece.

3. Writing

Here's the hardest part of the process: actually writing! I have several different ways I approach writing. Sometimes I'll just follow my outline, in order of the events and scenes I have planned. Other times, I might write "out of order" where I tackle a section that I'm particularly interested in, rather than going by order of events (though this usually means I have to edit and revise a lot because I might write the aftermath of a emotional scene before I actually know the specifics of what happens in the scene).

I think that I sometimes approach writing as something I "have to do." I will make myself write, even if I don't feel particularly motivated or inspired, because I want to build a habit of writing even without that passion fueling me. And besides, writing even a few sentences is better than writing nothing, so I'll congratulate myself if I had one paragraph to my wip. Sometimes, this does help me get into the flow of writing!

I also don't tend to approach first drafts like they need to be perfect. I'm fine if they're sloppy or messy, and I might, say, add a [add transition here] or [expand on his inner thoughts] if I'm on a roll and I don't want to slow down to write that particular bit. It's important to keep the momentum going!

I also keep several wips on hands at all times, and I have a folder in my google drive specifically for my wips. Though I do tend to focus only one to three projects at a time, this helps me in the sense that if I feel tired of one wip, then I refresh my creative batteries by working on a different one. This helps keeps my interest up!

4. Revising/Editing

I know some people skip this step, but to me, it's important that I don't just toss out a fic before I'm completely satisfied with it. Editing is when you go through to proofread and look at surface level things like grammar and spelling, but revising is the real struggle: it's where you look at the piece as a whole. Is it cohesive? Do the scenes make sense in the order they're placed in? How is the pace? Is the characterization consistent?

You can't be afraid to rearrange scenes, to cut sections, to add new ones, or to transform existing scenes. If I need to, sometimes I take a break before I go back to a piece. Maybe I've been looking at it for too long, and in the heat of the moment, I might miss certain things. I might also ask a friend for their feedback and advice on a piece. I want to write things that I'm proud of, that other people will enjoy, so I don't want to half-ass any step of the process. I try to look at most things at least two or three times before I post them, but if they're shorter pieces/don't need thorough revision, I'll only look at it once before I post.

[horrorknife]

hi ! sorry if this sounds weird but like

i stumbled upon one of your hoffheight posts and I'm so. genuinely fascinated ?? like, i THINK i understand it (I've certainly put them in a microwave and stared at them for the past few days) but i want to "get it right", if that makes ANY amount of sense. I want to interpret them correctly, I think is a better way to phrase it (it's 2am nothing I say will make more sense and I apologize for that.)

I think in a post you mentioned them being like, reflections of each other or something, which, I didn't realize but shit yeah?? they are aren't they. something about being on hair triggers or whatever. GOD they fascinate me so much I need you to understand how much this dynamic intrigues me. having them both be unstable in their own rights (esp with anger issues and all) it just. I love that ?? it's so fun!! I keep spinning them in my mind !!!

I think you also mentioned them being some flavor of qpr and as someone who's aromantic I. god qpr's my beloved. I really need them to be an evil qpr. that means a lot 2 me. ESPECIALLY if it's not even mentioned, but it definitely is a qpr. in my head Adam would have the potential (still not likely) to know what a qpr is, but he would never label it as that. at least not verbally. I love when there's a silent agreement that two people are definitely not romantic but labelling something as platonic is insincere. they're a secret third option don't worry about it !!!

sorry for dumping this into your inbox, I have a lot of thoughts and assumed it'd be mildly funny if I just left them with you. do with that what you will. I hope you have a nice day and thank you for the food for thought

[bonus ask that's ACTUALLY an ask and not just the ramblings of a mad man, do you have any fic recommendations of the two? for research, of course]

HI!!!! oh my fucking god anon you have no idea how excited and happy this makes me . *little cat running around in circles moment* 

so like. i imagine there’s this cord between them and neither of them understand it. they can both just Smell the sameness on each other, the familiarity of deepset rage and suffering and loneliness. adam’s young and impressionable and hoffman would be able to use him to his advantage. hoffman would love this guy. my characterization of adam post bathroom is lonely, detached, and even angrier than before so he gets into fights for the self destructive nature of the thing and hoffman would LOVE how unhinged he is (we all saw how much hoffman seemed to admire/get obsessed w strahm and that guy is Nuts). they’re the same kind of prey animal! they have the same fear of abandonment!!

something something the way they both die in the same spot, attached to the same pipe, forced to watch as LAWRENCE (OF ALL PEOPLE!!!!) abandons them for dead. adam is desperate for life adam is in a game rigged against him. hoffman fights and fights and gnashes and thrashes against this the entire series and yet he ultimately has no choice but to succumb to it, he dies the same horrific way adam did, alone and abandoned and feeling that same primal prey animal fear. there's something to both of them being lawrence's only (CANONICAL) victims (brad, ryan, and dina are lawrence's vics to me. but that's a different post) there's something to the way that adam dies in the first film and haunts the narrative forever and the person who reprises that role is HOFFMAN of all people. the way that this comes full circle is really really delicious to me

adam's camera is his buffer from the real world, it's how he processes things, he's at his best when he's unnoticed and free to Watch. guys we're not doing enough with the voyeur thing. guys. adam catalogs information adam loves holding secret knowledge. in a similar way, hoffman is holding a knife between himself and the real world, he's processing everything through a layer of violence before all else because he can't risk human connection anymore. all of his relationships are made through violence and this is of course present here as well because you adam's deepest connections are also facilitated through violence. you can argue that this is true of all saw characters and you'd be right but there's something so specially flavored about it when you look at hoffman and adam next to each other.

hoffman needs Direction From Someone Else in order to be an effective cog in the jigsaw machine–after john dies he just falls apart immediately and gets clumsy and makes stupid mistakes bc at the end of it all hoffman has been robbed of a Normal existence and the thing he really wants most is companionship (again, seen in the way he interacts w rigg and strahm–he communicates his ‘affection’ in adversarial ways to keep them hooked + offers them genuine chances at survival but they’re both too clouded and Against Him for it to work. king of misjudging situations) and direction. i think if he even had a LITTLE help he’d be a lot better at being jigsaw

conversely, adam is this poor, broke 25 year old clinking pennies together in his shithole apartment. and he has the same stripping of purpose hoffman does. he doesn’t communicate with his family anymore (for undisclosed reasons but this is one of my personal pinpoints for bi/transmasc adam), effectively abandoned by them, and we know that his one namedropped friend (his “BEST” friend btw) is a piece of shit TO him and ABOUT him. adam gets walked all over and he lives at the universe’s disposal to kick the shit out of. he’s been abandoned or mistreated by everyone significant in his life. hoffman is a well off and well respected cop with a whole department of people who highly respect him but he’s empty inside bc he’s incapable of having any meaningful relationships the moment he gets involved with john. he has to fully wall himself off again because it’s too risky to get close to other people. imagine your only worldly thread of understanding from another person ends up being the serial killer you’re chasing/impersonating. and he hates you.

adam’s a genuinely understanding and kind person under his defensiveness, we all know this, we’ve all seen saw 2004. he’d be kind to hoffman and hoffman would see stars. he forgot people were capable of treating him like a normal person. having hoffman warm up to you is the equivalent of having a crochety old man who hates everyone share apple slices with you. you’re a little nervous about it, you’re a little on edge, but he’s just cutting out his apple slices and handing you one every so often. a test of trust. maybe you’re uncomfortable but you’ll take his offering to be polite. you’ll enjoy his company, you’ll share that apple with him, you’ll forge a new bond with that person. this is the type of companionship im kind of getting at. 

um but yeah . rambling aside. back on track. unspoken/unaware qpr hoffheight is THE THING to me. yes we love each other yes we’d kill for each other no we’re not in love. we have a secret third thing and it’s called I Have To Keep This Guy Safe Right Fucking Now Because He Matters To Me More Than I Can Understand. OH mid paragraph im remembering something important. this absolutely all takes place within a sphere of hoffman and adam’s relationship starting with hoffman making adam his apprentice. i feel like that might have been obvious up there ^ but i want to be very clear w my intentions and my vision. KJDFSJKDF. ALSO oh my god . fuckkkkk fuck  fuck fml i think hoffman thinks 2 himself that angelina would probably have liked adam and that definitely endears him to the guy. 

like you said yeah i think adam has the Potential to know what a qpr is (but i dont think he does know)!! if anything he would ultimately just recognize it as an inherently special and inherently queer relationship…auuuu………i know i didnt get too into the evil parts of them too much here but thats cuz it would make me end up writing a 6k essay on them or something. just know that they do butt heads a lot because at the end of the day theyre from completely different universes and adam is an ODD/BPD king.

god . i could really just go on and on and on and on about them. i have so much more to say LOL but this is already a bit of a wordy response >__< i just have such a clear vision of their vibe and dynamic in my mind. it comes to me like sherlock visions. i’m being pelted with big times new roman font things that say shit like “HOFFHEIGHT GAY SEX” “They Are Everything To Each Other In A Codependent Ass Way” 

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK BY THE WAY I UM. GOT SO FUCKING EXCITEDD WHEN I READ IT AKJDNJAKLDNVSJKFNFDKGNVDFK. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THESE TWO ARE TO ME . YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SICK AND FUCKED UP I AM OVER THEM LOLLLLL. asks that made me get up out of bed at 6:30 in the morning because i was too excited and woke up fully 

if u have more questions or u wanna rap abt this more PLEAAAAASE feel free 2 send more asks or reach out via messages i love discussing my evil plots with them. i am literally ALWAYS locked and loaded and ready to talk about hoffheight. anon i unfortunately do not have fic recs because i do not like reading fanfiction. im incredibly particular about characterization and i’m a little bit of a writing snob. i don’t trust them in anyone else’s hands for fic if i’m being honest. i don’t think anyone else’s vision will fully align with mine and i’m too autistic to risk seeing that be done wrong. i’ll get too emotional KJDNKJSNFJ

[marashi96art]

Questions for the fanfic writers about Leon S. Kennedy's lack of background story: How do you deal with it?

I've been haunted by this problem for MONTHS and I needed to spit it out. I feel like Tumblr is a better place for long text and reasoned discussion, and most importantly: fanfic writers.

It's long and I sincerely look forward to your opinions. Even though I only draw Cleon, I didn't mention any ship in this post so I won't add ship-related tags here; if you're gonna list examples based on your ship, please respect each other.

So hear me out:

The best part and the worst part about Leon S. Kennedy is that HE DOESN'T HAVE A BACKGROUND STORY and a CONSISTENT characteristic development...and it's driving me insane.

The benefit of it is that I can shape his past into whoever I want to fit my stories. But it brings out a bigger problem: the development is solely depending on my understanding & knowledge of character design. He's pretty much a blank sheet of paper, except he's extremely famous, and I don't want to stray too far away from the canon info that we've got on him(and get "canceled" for OOC).

(I don't actually write stories into fics, but I DO write short scripts for my art when they are intended to be a series. I guess the prep work to start anything is the same: write it down in words, then expand the idea.)

I love AUs and I'm more interested in sci-fi/fantasy than modern/zombie-apocalypse kinda thing. But when I wanted to dig deep into their backgrounds, to start world-building, there's NOTHING for me. It's so frustrating.

For example, I'm currently working on a Monster Hunter AU based on the RE4R DLC Hero Outfit, which basically is the whole RE gang running around in the woods hunting supernatural creatures. (Not just CAPCOM's MH series but with the general mythical creatures, werewolves .etc)

And they have a Hunter's Guild, different tribes and clans, you know the drill. Since the setting was in a fantasy world, their surnames have caused me great pain from the start.

The easiest one is Redfield. It can be interpreted as "fertile land" or "battleground", and from these I immediately have quite a few visual ideas of how they'd look like, and what they'd do for a living. Chambers, Valentine, and Oliveira are "OK", but the surname Kennedy doesn't fit in ANYWHERE.

(Yes, I googled. It's Irish; but let's be honest, our first impression was a certain American political family.)

Then I read this article that shares a similar concern: Is Resident Evil 4’s Leon S. Kennedy Italian? An investigation

It pretty much sums up the most common FANDOM theories of Leon's background info. But all of them are still just, headcanons.

The more I try to dig in, the lack of this crucial element--a character's canon background story--is really blocking me to create things I enjoy. Even though I've been drawing him for almost 50 pieces of fan art, I still don't know what he's actually like. I can only imagine his personality by referencing other fictional characters/actors whom I think share a resemblance. (I have a soft spot for Keanu Reeves, Faramir from TLOR, and Sanji from One Piece. But that's another story for another time.)

Of course, I'm aware of the fact that, instead of spending this huge amount of time to rewrite a fictional character I don't own, I can create my own OCs and build everything from scratch. But that's not the point. I only started playing video games in 2019 when I bought a Nintendo Switch; and my first-ever, modern game experience was Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

The whole game-wise fandom and RE series are pretty new to me. But I've been in fandoms of books/movies/TV shows for over a decade. It shocked me that Resident Evil, this world-popular series has almost 30 years of history but non of the main characters have a consistent background that follows through the in-game timeline. There're huge gaps between the games even if we add all of the movies in it. How did that work? How do you get to know them? How do you get attached enough to write your own fan story?

In conclusion, I don't think I like Leon S. Kennedy, cuz he remains a mystery. Instead, I just combine all of the good qualities of other characters I like, create my version of Leon Kennedy, and hopefully pray that when he reappears in a new RE work, I didn't do him wrong.

[egg-emperor]

My sources for the Eggman info that's considered, compiled, and included in my analysis and fact sharing:

THE GAMES - English and JP. Number one source above everything. Anything outside of it has to align with them to be considered because I'm specifically all about game canon Eggman and there's no other place that's going to define game Eggman than, well, the games themselves

Sonic Channel - Because Sega/Sonic Team JP are most credible when it comes to their own characters. the information is valuable and adds a lot of cool details, fun facts, art, stories, and videos, faithful to the games

TailsTube English and JP - Because they're made to be informative about the characters and world we see in the games and are meant to be the rundown of facts and things we need to know. Possibly also JP VTuber stream stuff but I still haven't gotten entire translations of VTuber Eggman's first appearance yet to be able to compile and analyze anything

Sega/Sonic Team official writers/creators, English or JP - ONLY if they worked on the specific piece of media/story/character they're speaking on. For example, Flynn on writing Frontiers, but if it's game he didn't write for then no. Unless it's someone who is a credible source on possessing knowledge even outside of that like Iizuka for example, and it adds up with the games' contents

Small bonuses - Some promotional material both English and JP. For example, the Sonic Forces join the Eggman Empire video on the English YouTube and the JP Sonic Forces Eggman takeover Eggman video because they're used to promote the games and don't contradict anything and only add to it. This varies as stuff that isn't directly tied to the games or made entirely in jest doesn't count

----------------------------------------

In rare cases I will also refer to bios to support already existing facts in the games further. But Eggman has had a couple of very inaccurate bios where he's done the exact opposite in the games of what the bio states at times. So it's not black and white, I don't take it as solid proof if it's only ever been stated in the bio and won't refer to bios alone. There has to be something to point to in the games that either proves or disproves the information provided

And these alone (not including the Boom videos) really do give you all you need to know above everything as they speak for themselves:

All the main canon titles are included here and I'm working on others.

----------------------------------------

And that's it. And all of the above except for the games themselves can vary a lot because it needs to be 100% reflected in the games for it to be considered and added to my fact compiling and used in my analysis. If it contradicts it or there's no solid evidence reflecting it in the games and it also doesn't make sense as a result, I won't include it

I don't like to mash all the different official media together and use that as proof of character or stories in the games. I see people do this a lot by talking like something is game canon and when asked for sources, they pull up Archie, X, Boom, SatAM, non canon apps, Twitter DMs, contradictory bios, etc, it makes stuff super confusing and most are from separate non canon universes

You can do what you want in your own fan stuff of course but please understand that I specifically discuss, analyze, and write about game canon Eggman myself here and value and appreciate canon and want to show my love and passion for it. And these are my heavily excessively analyzed sources for everything I gather and perceive of his character facts and writing etc

I'm also always trying to keep my headcanons and fics as accurate to what I learn from all of this as possible, so if you don't like how Eggman is in the games/any of these sources in terms of personality and actions, you won't like my stuff. Trust me, everyone who has said they're not big fans of game canon Eggman has wound up hating my stuff lol. If you love game Egg like me then please discuss him with me 💜🥚

Figured this would be a good post to make and link in my pinned bio post when I make it. I may update and change things in this list in the future and have this post be the main place to refer to where I get my stuff from

[unadulteratedkr]

2, 18, 19, 46 and a wildcard for you too for the fic writer game 💗

eeee thank you for coming into my inbox and playing with me, Ida 🥰🥰🥰

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Oh, I absolutely have to outline before I write. Pantsless writers, you terrify me (affectionate). It's not anything very formal, like I'm not doing bullet lists, it's much more stream of consciousness mixed in with me congratulating me on good ideas that get me out of problems I create for myself. It's very chaotic 😂 See below, part of my outline for I am tired, I am yours, where I outright ask myself for help

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

It varies! If I'm writing a sequel to something, I'll often have the title picked out before I finish the piece just to keep it thematically tied to the first one. In my Vianton fics, they're all named from Brandi Carlile songs (listen, she's the first person to admit her love songs are fucked up and it fits the Big emotions of a vampire and a werewolf okay I don't make the rules), and the sequel to my actual!KrakenEd fic was pulled from a poem I used a lot as inspiration for the first fic. Sometimes titles come to me in the middle of a piece, sometimes I'm ready to publish and going ".... oh right. Title. For the fic. The fic's title. The title to go on the fic."

I usually pull from poetry or songs for fic titles, but I have some delightful notable exceptions:

-sin is sacred again is titled from the marketing copy from Kraken Rum. No really. I'm not bullshitting you. Go look.

EDIT: OKAY APPARENTLY SOME COWARD TOOK DOWN THE PART I USED AS INSPIRATION BECAUSE THE MONSTERFUCKER VIBES WERE CLEAR BUT LUCKILY I HAVE SCREENSHOTS

-it's not something I can share yet here, but I also wrote a nsfw digital tie-in piece for the Tying the Knot zine titled "The 'I Duoy' Newlywed Special", which has that title solely because I wanted to capitalize on the fucking AMAZING name @jackuntiljune came up with for Archie's shotgun wedding boat

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

This made me laugh so much because @poorlyformed will be SO proud to hear that there's a TIE between "reunions" and "rimming" in my collection.

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

Ooooo, definitely emotion-driven, but rooted in the characters? Like, I want my writing to evoke emotions, and I write from a very personal place and put a lot of my own heart into my writing, but I also try really hard to make sure that it's rooted in the characters.

Very much how I approach any characters I've ever played too, I think. Like, I bring my own knowledge of the world and of feelings to any part I play, but at the end of the day.... I am NOT a water spirit or an owl or a grad student, and I need to find that character's truth and imagine outside of it, and I try to do that with fic as well. I want to bring what I find compelling to Ed or Stede, but I want to translate it through their characters to make it authentic and fulfilling to THEM.

And for my wild-card, I'm gonna pick, drumroll please [appropriate length drumroll]

#77: Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [insert fic here]?

Because I want to talk about my Stardust AU, Between the Sand and Stardust, which miiiight be my favorite thing I've written?

My favorite scene, bar NONE, was the scene where Stede got transformed into a mouse. One, mouse Stede is literally perfect, Stede as a tiny little dormouse gives me so much joy, but TWO, it's when Ed admits he loves Stede for the first time and it's so ACHINGLY TENDER because he thinks Stede can't understand him so he lets himself be a little more honest about it and ALSO I love it because Stede immediately post-transformation is a dolt and I'm in love with him:

get to know your fic writer!

[chimerickat]

I think I might have to skip today. (So tired last night and then tonight I have to go to bed early for a 6am wakeup tomorrow.)

As a consolation, have a preview of a fic where reader is Mokuba's English teacher.

It’s your first Sports Day in Japan, and you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by all of the activity and shouting. You do your best to cheer on all of your students, but trying to understand the Japanese spoken over the loudspeakers takes all of your focus. 

So when someone calls your name, it takes you a moment to register that they’re trying to get your attention. When you turn to see Mokuba Kaiba standing behind you, you can’t help the genuine smile that takes over your face. “Mokuba-kun!” He’s one of your best students which might be why he’s also one of the most forgiving when your Japanese turns into a garbled mess. 

He gestures to the man standing next to him. “This is my big brother!” 

You smile at the man and wish you knew enough Japanese to tease Mokuba about being taller and therefore the big brother. You don’t even know if the joke would translate the right way. “It’s nice to meet you…” You hesitate. His brother looks around your same age. You’re unsure how to refer to him so you opt to play it safe. “Seto-san. Please forgive my poor Japanese!”  You smile at him, remembering what you’ve been told. When in doubt, always use san! 

He frowns, but before he can say anything, Mokuba says, “She’s the best English teacher I’ve ever had!” Then he listens to an announcement on the loudspeakers. “My group is up!” He runs off, leaving you alone with his brother. 

You smile at his brother. Seto doesn’t return the smile. “I hope your English is better than your Japanese,” he says in perfect English. 

“Oh!” Eager to speak in a more comfortable language, you switch as well. “I should have known you’d speak English! Mokuba had to learn from somewhere.” You had assumed that Seto Kaiba would speak English given his status as CEO of an international company, but you didn’t expect him to have barely any accent at all.

He sneers. "Also, it’s Kaiba-sama to you.”

You ignore his tone knowing that you've spoken rudely even if you don't quite understand how. Surely he's just reacting to that. "I thought you used sama for the Emperor?"

"Are you an idiot?"

You stare at him, trying to figure out if he's attacking your Japanese knowledge or if you should know that he's part of the imperial family. Since you've established your poor Japanese already, you go with the second option. "So are you like a cousin or something?"

Kaiba pinches the bridge of his nose and looks down. He grumbles something that sounds like a curse. Then your brain translates it as, "Americans."

“What makes you think I’m American?” You cross your arms, doing your best to glare at him. 

He raises his eyebrow. “You’re not?” 

“None of your business!” you say. 

“American,” he states. Then he crosses his arms and turns his attention to Mokuba’s race. 

You could argue further with him but decide he’s not worth the headache. You’re already feeling too overwhelmed with everything going on over the loudspeakers. 

After the race, Mokuba runs up to the two of you, holding his first place medal. He hugs you, and while you're sure that's inappropriate in any country, you pat his back as you try to take a step back. Then he high fives his brother, making you feel even more awkward about the hug.

“Good job, Mokuba!” You smile and then extend that smile to his brother. “It’s been a pleasure, Kaiba-kun, but I need to get ready for the teacher borrowing contest.” 

You listen to the instructions, and the game seems straightforward. You get assigned an item at random and try to be the first person to bring it back. 

Then you get the signal to open your paper and realize the item is written in Japanese. Because of course it is. You shouldn’t be surprised, and now you understand the smirks directed your way when you signed up for the borrowing contest. 

You look around, trying to think of what to do next. Do you admit that you can’t read the paper? Some of your students cheer you on, and you hesitate. You feel illiterate, like a fraud only pretending to be a teacher.

Japanese is hard to read, but that feels like an excuse when you try to say it outloud. You’re a teacher! You should know how to read. (Even if it isn’t your native language. Nevermind the fact that you can read perfectly well in English!) 

So you run over to the student who hasn’t laughed at your mistakes and his big brother who thinks you’re an idiot already. 

“What did you get?” Mokuba asks.

“Um…” You hold the paper out to him. 

“Oh. A book.” Mokuba’s shoulders drop as he huffs. “I don’t have one.”

“Yes. A Book.” You catch the way Kaiba smirks at you. “Do you read?” you ask him before he can say anything. 

“I read more than you do.” 

“Does anyone have a book?” Mokuba asks. 

Students nearby pass the question along until someone holds out a textbook from their bookbag. You thank the student and carry the book back to the finish line. Mokuba saved you even if he doesn’t know it. 

[ziskeyt]

in addition to the post i just reblogged about tagging and responsibility of the reader, something I've noticed that is missed in a lot of these discussions about "oh you didn't tag this!" and "i shouldn't have to tag" is that, when i read a book in a particular genre i have a pretty good idea what i'm getting into. Sure, there may be topics within that go into things I may not really be super comfortable reading but like, for example, i like reading murder mysteries but I don't have any interest in reading about rape. some murder mystery stories may involve rape. sometimes i may have heard that oh XIX author tends to write women in a terrible way, so i don't read them. other times it may just appear in the book and what to i do? i skim. i skim the whole scene until i'm out of it and can keep reading. But, i am always aware that when i read within the genre of a murder mystery that i may come across some things i don't really care for reading.

There are three things I think the entire discussion about fic, reading, and who has what responsibility could benefit from:

Readers need to be responsible for their own experience. Something in the fic is happening that involves a topic that upsets or disturbs you, but you want to keep reading the story and not just quit the tab? Skim. Don't comment to the author "this scene triggered me!" or anything about it. It's not their business. Skim, keep reading, and move on. Or, exit the tab and again, move on.

Genre tags. I see this occasionally, but not usually in fic. But really, i think since we already are familiar with generally what to expect in a genre it is helpful to tag a fic with whatever genre you're writing in.

and lastly, and to be honest, most importantly in my opinion. Summaries. Every book you pick up has a summary. Every movie. Every show. Every game. Be it a small blurb to a few paragraphs. There is some verbiage about what is within that you are about to experience. I know people hate writing summaries, but really you're just giving the 10 second fly by to someone in the coffee shop about what your story is about. What do you think will hook their interest? Why did you write this story? What made you interested enough to write it? Read the backs of books perhaps to gain familiarity with what summaries tend to say to understand the purpose they serve. Also, you can edit your summary later, or change it entirely if you find there's a better way to talk about the story. Get me as excited to read it as you were to write it!

read with the knowledge that the power is entirely in your hands regarding what you are reading. write with the knowledge that you can transport your reader wherever your fancy takes you. have fun with it, and be kind.

[benilos]

About This Blog

I am Etan. I have been previously known by other names, but this is the one you can have for now. My AO3 is benilos.

22 years old, I am American Indigenous, pronouns are he/they/it/majora. I am the creator Hyrule-Bound and Time and Time Again of the TCU media series.

My AO3 account with all of the actual fics is benilos. You need an account to view mine, as it is marked as mature. It should not take very long to get an invite when you ask the site for one, but please keep this in mind.

This blog is 16+ due to the dark and sensitive nature of the majority of content I make. I'm aware some countries have differing age of consent laws, and as long as you are of age in your country to consent to viewing this content, you may do as you please. Everything here will be heavily tagged, and a tag list for blacklisting or searching purposes will be at the end of this pinned post.

I will not accept any discussions involving the proship vs antiship discourse. I do not identify with either term, and I am frankly to fucking busy to deal with children who don't understand what they are speaking about. Do not speak to me about it, block and curate your own goddamn experience.

I primarily do Legend of Zelda and Creepypasta content, my series Three Circuits Unending is a crossover series involving both medias, as well as having a lot of original content involved as well. This will be the blog for all series related content, art and writing.

My reblog blog where I may bitch like the toxic asshole I am is @kitom-kortil

My incorrect quotes blog for TCU is @tcu-incorrect-quotes and for some reason i cannot tag it

Tag list is

"Beep beep" for NSFT content.

"Bread", and "music" for food and music related content during Ramadan (more tags can be added as any Muslim followers request it).

"Knife" for writing content.

"Kid art" for art content.

"Riceball" for gaming content.

"Moo" for vent/sensitive content.

"Skull Talk", "Evie Talk", and a few other Talk tags will refer to either me, one of my alters, or Anthony and Morgin speaking on a post.

An addition: If you are of a religious sect that has any kind of holiday similar to Ramadan where you need to avoid certain subject matters, you are absolutely welcome to let me know, and I will gladly add tags to posts if it is needed. Ramadan is the only one I am somewhat knowledgeable about, so I may need prompting for others. This DOES NOT INCLUDE content warning tagging for LGBTQ+ related things unless I personally feel it is important, because I will not cater to queerphobic people. This is a safe space for everyone BUT those people. Thank you.

Do not come to me with your whining about how you feel about me. You have been blocked for a reason, even on this new blog. Me creating a new blog is not your invitation to bother me. Eat the fucking block, and go the hell away. I will not have a rerun of last time. Grow tf up.

Anthony and Morgin have their own sideblog, @kito-nasra. You are welcome to say hello to them. I do not look at that blog, and I have all notifs muted for that blog. You will not be able to speak to me or get ahold of me from that blog, so do not try to do so. You will only get cussed out by those two.

[msmargaretmurry]

something i'm curious about, apart from hrpf have you ever read any published hockey romance books? i was looking through some lists on goodreads and there's more than i expected both mlm and hetero (didn't seem to find any wlw hockey romances)

i have read exactly one published hockey romance (mlm) and i absolutely hated it. one of the least enjoyable reading experiences i have ever had. it has over 4 stars on goodreads and that haunts me every day because i hated it so much.

now i know that one book is not a good sample size for the overall subgenre, but it has made me wary of diving in further 😂 i have some recs i might try eventually for mlm hockey romances both from hrpf friends whom i trust to have higher standards for hockey content, and from a coworker who loves romance novels and found out that i love hockey and was like, oh there's this gay hockey romance novel series that i love— (me smiling and nodding along like i don't log onto al gore's internet every day to read about real hockey players fucking raw)

the thing is, i'm not an avid romance reader. i like romance but i don't love romance, you know? i love a love story, but there are things that are inherent to or popular in the romance novel genre that i generally find tolerable at best. and i'm so aware this is a me problem and not a genre problem, but it does mean that i'm not quite the target audience for hockey romance novels anyway.

HOWEVER. my big hangups when it comes to published hockey romances (and sports romances in general) are

and b) if it's really obvious that the characters are just hrpf characters with their names changed, i cannot read it. i would rather just read the fic. writing fanfic and writing original fiction are two separate skills — that, yes, overlap in may places, but making the switch is way harder to do well than people anticipate, i think. if you just file the serial numbers off a hrpf fic, it is going to be so obvious and distracting to me and probably fall flat in the characterization department.

a) lack of knowledge and accuracy about the sport itself. obviously we all make stuff up and bend reality a bit for our horny fanfictions, but i have more patience for that stuff when you're posting stories for free on the internet, and also to be honest i've read so many inpeccably researched fics, published authors have no excuse. i feel like a lot of romance readers pick up a hockey romance for the romance and don't really care about the setting so much, but if i'm picking up a hockey romance it's because i'm a casual romance enjoyer who loves hockey, so if they hockey aspects of the book aren't strong or are blatantly wrong it's gonna get on my nerves so much. i don't need 100% accuracy, but i do need it to feel like the author understands the game and has a basic understanding of how hockey teams and leagues work

all of that being said, i would happily accept recommendations, for straight or gay hockey romance novels! i hope there are some really good ones out there!

[flattenedcat]

Oh man. It's ass o crack in the morning and I can't sleep because of stupid brain dead fans and insane misinformation.

Incoming rant from a renheng shipper who frequents tiktok that enjoys ships that aren't just green flags or whatever.

Lowkey hate myself for getting obsessed with hkr and renheng. The amount of people who misunderstand lore or that the characters in question have an insane amount of MEMORY LOSS. Also, why are hoyo fans so obsessed with hating on queer ships and spreading bs about them, like bro chill it's just a game and we're all gay fuckers who like to see other gay fuckers in love. It's fiction, seriously who the fuck cares lmao.

Some of yall are just homophobes in disguise who hate any sort of gayness even when it's implied or just theorized. Meanwhile hoyo is trying desperately to get past the censorship and hide the gay while also shoving it down our throats lol. (Aka that typo stuff or whatever. Idk what happened there but why's that your first thought...?)

Ughhh I really need to delete tiktok, I can feel my brain losing cells at a rapid speed. I type renheng and 7/10 videos are just hate. Like bruh don't use the fucking tag you absolute bitches.

Ohhh they're so toxic or whatever. Danheng is traumatized because Blade keeps trying to kill him (...points at canon...lol). First of all, baby that's true love. Joking but like renheng is also very much classic danmei. Lovers to enemies to exes to lovers but slightly deranged. Also very very j*ongdok coded. Oh and now people hating on enemies to lovers trope just cuz they can't stand renheng for whatever reason. Saying stuff like what chemistry or how could they ever like each other, they are trying to kill one another. Like pause. Focus. ENEMIES. TO. LOVERS. ENEMIES ENEMIES ENEMIES. It's not going to be a walk in the park fucking dumbasses.

It's basically friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to enemies to scorned semi-amnesiac exes to lovers again if that helps ^-^. We in the divorce arc now but no one knows lmao, not even the two fuckers in question themselves.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so fixated on hating ships that are 'toxic'. Sure happy good queer ship representation is important. But like, to be brutally honest, I prefer angst and complex, complicated dynamics. Just let us have both, no need to insist that everyone be the pinnacle of morality. That's boring lol. Sure h*artstopper is amazing, but also fucking love h*nnibal too. Imo these the same bitches that want to censor ao3. Let the gays have their toxic shit too, not everyone wants straight fluff.

Also. Hsr is pretty dark when you think about it. At least, from the perspective of someone who only has general knowledge of g*nshin i*pact and just reads funeral man x foxy dude ao3 fics, I was not expecting the deaths of actual people. Like the xianzhou arc had probably the highest body count, with scenes of people literally taking their last breath and not just in the actual gaming part. It's gonna be a bit dark babes.

This goes for jingyuan too. Like i saw someone comment that they're upset he was sorta manipulative during the dragon arc thing. And um sure, but also bros an old ass general who also looks into the future with the divine something. But main point. GENERAL. Sorta his job babes. Mans not going to be some 1D soft uwuu boy. But he's also impartial where he can and perhaps shouldn't be. Tbh hoyo fans should be happy at how complex these characters are.

Sidenote. I find that I cannot stand watching people play games anymore. Like wdym you're talking over the damn cut scene that's significant and/or looking away. Bruh, this isn't a pure battle game, it's heavy on the story so where the fuck is your goddamn attention. Talking bs like oh idk what's going on but they don't read the dialogue, check out the databank/bookshelf, watch the short videos hoyo puts out, or even, just even FUCKING EXPLORE. Some ass I watched just walked straight past vital info, running their goddamn mouth and was then like, broo I'm so confused what's going on?!? Genuinely, if not for the story, then why are you playing? The combat is fun, sure, but it's not like the most riveting thing ever, so why do people not pay attention????

I feel faint oof.

I don't even care if renheng isn't canon and we're all fucking delusional. I'm just annoyed for a varied number of reasons that are triggered everytime I open the devil app that is tiktok...also I feel sorta sad for spoiling 1.3 for myself but also half of it was already spoiled because of tumblr+tiktok having spoilers like the fucking devil himself and also also i feel better/insane that i know like 75% of what's going on.

(Do i need to censor the other names/fandoms? No idea, but might as well ig)