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#butterfly effect and all that
turrondeluxe · 1 year
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Does your AU have a renet
Because I’m kinda thinking ronin was the first time she met the turtle
So like when she met him and the others while they were younger she just stared at Mikey for a while trying to figure out who the others were and why Mikey wasn’t covered in scars
She does! That's a neat idea! In the AU it wasn't like that though!
Renet used to be good friends of the turtles, but she disappeared from their lives completely some time around before the peace treaty.
The brothers actually had no idea why she went absolutely awol but Mikey reassured them it was alright and they didn't ask again. After all, the time apprentice didn't exist by their concept of time and used to come and go, sometimes not visiting them for Long periods of time.
Renet actually had a talk with Mikey before disappearing completely from their lives and Mikey wouldn't understand why until later, when everything started going to hell.
She told him that she was sorry and that there was nothing she could do to change the future. That it had to continue it's course.
Mikey didn't get it at the time.
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irregularbillcipher · 9 months
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i did that whole “what would kryptos’ life had been like if he hadn’t met bill” thought experiment a while back but the truth is if bill and kryptos hadn’t met, literally none of the tailor shop crew would have ever met each other which kinda sucks
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8 years and I think I might've started following this blog around that time.. we're really all stuck here 💀
In this to-fucking-gether
My personal blog is like 3 years older? from 2013. It has been more than 10 years now 😭
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helianthus21 · 8 months
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they ignored every timetravel rule ever but it was a solid season
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quite-right-too · 1 year
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This is something I think about a lot
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triona-tribblescore · 8 months
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AHSHAHAHDHD I ALREADY LOVE THIS NEW AU
but my one question is: what exactly are each of the brothers? mikey is clearly some kind of wanderer and raph a stone giant, donnie some kind of scholar/inventor, but leo is the one im most confused about. is he a nymph? a witch?
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ty also @cococakeyum for the ask :D <3
(AND SPECIAL MENTION TO @scatterbrainedbot BECAUSE ILY YOUR TAGS ARE KILLING ME, GETTING ME SO HYPED FR :'D <3333)
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nataliesscatorccio · 1 year
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Lottie telling Travis to take Javi to the bedroom so he'd be spared the violence of watching Shauna pulverize her body. Lottie's injuries driving the group to hunt. Javi facing violence anyway, abandoned beneath the ice. Shauna covering her eyes so she'd be spared the violence of watching her own hands carve his body. Lottie eating Javi to regain her strength from the same beating that was too violent for a child to watch.
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g1ngerbeer · 2 months
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low quality link click doodle dump
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ahollowgrave · 8 months
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-- friends.
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devotion-disorder · 8 months
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You drew Kuuya with a cat mouth for the first time on September 14th.
wait youre right..............it was the aftermath of The Yeast post.....without it we would never have the catboyification of kuuya... everybody say thank you vaginal yeast anon
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strangersteddierthings · 11 months
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No Regrets - Part Two
TW: OC Character Death (dude doesn't even get a name). Steve reflects on killing both demo-creatures and humans with detachment. Mentions of Major Character Deaths but as a reminder, they don't stay dead! (Well, Chrissy and Fred do)
Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six
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Maybe he should feel bad about watching Robin grow smaller in the rear-view mirror, her face a mixture of disbelief and anger. Maybe he should feel regret for his actions, for the betrayal Robin probably feels right now.
He doesn't.
Looking at the bigger picture, at the regrets he actually does have in the waking world, this is small potatoes. A non-issue. Robin will forgive him in the end.
War Zone is like a ghost town compared to the first time Steve was here. Though, that should have been expected. The panic hasn't swept through town yet. So far, it's just one dead girl. Fred'll join her sometime this afternoon. Evening? Sometime later today.
Nineteen-year-old Steve would hate himself for not trying to help. For not doing his best to save Fred.
But.
Well, Fred dying will help Dustin, in the long run. Will help Eddie. And that's more important. That's the goal. The dream, if he's allowing himself to be cheeky in his own mind.
Steve's not heartless, or anything like that. Robin, his Robin in the waking world, still calls him a softy and worries his kindness will get him killed on the daily. He always puts the safety of the group above himself. The first to volunteer on supply runs or for scouting or taking watch through the night. He knows he can run on empty for much longer than anyone else he knows.
The end of the world has a way of skewing what kindness and softness are, though. Those first few months were the hardest. Steve wanted to save everyone they came across. Help as many people as possible, but rations run dangerously low that way. Clean water can become contaminated quickly by ignorant people. Not everyone handled the apocalypse with grace.
The first harsh lesson Steve had learned was two months into the end of the world. They'd ventured to Indy to find supplies. Medicines. Try and stock up on things they didn't need yet but wanted around for the just in case of it all. They'd found some survivors, which wasn't surprising in itself. The surprising bit was that these guys had made it on complete luck it seemed. They were loud. Jumpy. Panicky.
When Lucas and Mike, on scout duty, had reported back demogorgon activities nearby, one guy started to panic. Got loud and couldn't bring himself back down. Steve was closest, tried to shush him but he wouldn't be quiet.
"Move," Murray (may he rest in peace) whispered, seeming to have appeared from nowhere, shoving Steve away, nudging him out of the way. Murray stepped behind the guy, one hand covering his nose and mouth, the other arm around his neck. It made the guy panic more, fighting Murray and then Murray just-
Steve remembers he flinched at the noise, turning away to cover his mouth and calm his own panic. The noises stopped though. Steve had shot a horrified look to Hopper, but Hopper wasn't looking at Steve. He was looking beyond, at Murray and what he'd done, nodding his approval.
The demogorgons didn't find them that day.
"You can't help everyone, Steve," Murray said, once they'd started the trek back to Hawkins. "The safety of the group comes first, over just one person."
Lesson heard. Lesson learned. Lesson put to use four months later.
So. Fred must die, for the good of the group. Patrick, too, if Steve can't get to Vecna in time. He should be able to. Vecna will try and take Max first, tomorrow. Patrick the day after. If everything stays the same.
The clerk doesn't even blink at what Steve buys, or the quantity of what he buys, but his eyebrows do go up a little at the total.
Steve hesitates just a bit over the checkbook his parents gave him the first time they'd left him home alone at fourteen. For emergencies only, Steven. It's been sitting in his glove box, unused, since he turned sixteen. He's never wanted to have to explain what he'd used it for. Nothing had ever seemed like enough of an emergency to warrant explaining it to Richard Harrington.
He does find it a little odd that his mind is conjuring up the concept of money. Of all the little things to think about while he sleeps, he really didn't think his subconscious would bring capitalism back.
Steve rips the little check out of the booklet and hands it over. The clerk looks it over before giving a nod and finishing the cash out. Steve takes the receipt when it's offered, shoving it into the checkbook before shoving that into his back pocket.
The parking lot has one other person in it, who Steve is aware of the entire time he's loading the trunk of his car with gallons of lighter fluid, weapons, and padded camouflage. It's only after Steve's slammed the trunk closed and shoved the cart back towards the front of the store that the guy watching him speaks.
"Must be some bonfire you're planning."
Steve rounds his car and opens the door before answering. "It's spring break, man." He slides in, the door falling closed after him. He buckles up, starts the car, and heads home. The house will be empty, he knows.
He works in silence, unloading the car and organizing his haul in the dining room, eyes flicking to the clock. There's still a couple of hours before dark. Before he should go check if Eddie's still in the boathouse, or if the police did go find him.
He sets the timer on the stove for an hour and flops onto his couch and sighs. Just as comfy as he remembers. He can have a nap before making sure Eddie's in jail. Surely his dream will allow him that?
-
"Mmhm," Steve mumbles as his neck protests movement. He's slow to wake. His head feels like white noise. He thinks he was dreaming but he can't quite grasp at what it was... oh. Family Video and War Zone. Reliving a memory. He wonders if Robin is still mad at him for that day, ditching her with Dustin and Max. It'd been for a good reason and- Steve wrinkles his nose as he sits up, head still static-y. Was it for a good reason? He can't remember what else happened after that....
"He rises," Robin whispers next to him, spooking him. She comes into focus as he sits up straight, leaning out of her space to look at her. She gives him a smile, judging by the crinkle around her eyes and her cheeks rounding. The gas mask prevents him seeing her real smile and he misses it. He thinks about his dream, and getting to see all of Robin's face again.
Dreaming is bittersweet.
"I miss anything?" He asks, because it's a safe question.
"Scouts radioed. The way should be clear in another," Robin grabs his wrist and twists so she can see the time on his watch, "another twenty minutes or so."
The mention of the radio makes him think of Dustin, and how much he misses him. And thinking of Dustin makes him think of Eddie. Steve knows it's irrational for him to miss someone he never knew but that doesn't stop the ache. The almost of it all sits heavy in his chest.
"Right," Steve says. "Want to see how many rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors we can get through in twenty minutes?"
Robin shuffles sideways to be facing him and holds her hands up. "You always lose but okay."
They get about twelve rounds into it before Steve finds himself asking, "Hey Robbie. Do you remember Spring Break?"
Her hands freeze in the air, an aborted motion to make paper to beat Steve's rock. She locks eyes with him for a moment and he can see the worry there. "I- Steve. Is it- did you take a hit? Is it your head? Should I not have let you nap?"
No. No, he doesn't think he got hurt on this run. Well, his shoulder hurts from when he stumbled and slammed into wall during the last loading of the truck, but he hadn't hit his head. He thinks. "I don't know... I hit the wall hard, shoulder hurts, but I didn't hit my head. I don't remember hitting my head."
Robin stands immediately and begins jabbing her fingers around his skull. "Anything tender?"
"Nope. Just a messed up hairdo," Steve swats her hands away.
"Well, you can never be too sure. You are precious cargo. Why did you ask about the start of the apocalypse?"
Steve shrugs. What can he say? That he's forgetting the start of all their horrors? He can't say that, not without coming across like he's either crazy or bragging. Remember the week that ruined our lives and gave us all enough trauma to fill an ocean? Yeah, well, I don't so ha!
He can't be sure but he thinks Robin frowns beneath her mask. "We'll have to have someone look you over when we get back. Steve, if you're losing your memories..."
"I'm not losing memories," Steve lies. Head trauma is serious and he knows he can't take one more hit to the head. He won't be able to continue helping with supply runs or patrols if he is getting worse. If he starts getting migraines, they'll reassign him for sure. Something that doesn't let him leave the safety of their home base at the high school.
"Steve," she warns. He knows it's a warning.
He shakes his head. "I just. I had a dream about Saturday. Very vivid. Just made me think about it, is all."
Robin softens, sinking back down to sit beside him. She finally answers, "yeah. I remember Spring Break."
"I miss everyone," he confesses, because it's true. Because it's safe.
"Me too," Robin says, leaning her mask against his.
They wait in silence until the scouts call the all clear and they can head back home.
They make it back to Hawkins before night falls but just barely. The gates get rolled shut behind them and the unpacking gets started. The whole community has gathered for their return. This is their longest run to date with how far they had to go this time and Steve doesn't blame anyone for needing to see their loved ones as soon as possible.
"Robin!"
Steve turns just in time to watch Vickie launch herself at Robin. Robin must have seen her running, though, because she's already braced for impact and catches Vickie easily, arms grabbing at Vickie's thighs to support her weight as she wraps them around Robin's waist. Vickie places her forehead to Robin's as their excitement switches to tenderness and Steve averts his eyes to give them privacy in this moment.
"Steve, here," Ted Wheeler offers up a box to Steve, who takes it without question. "For the Daycare."
"You got it."
The Daycare is actually a wing of the school that used to be where the language arts classes were held. Daycare doesn't quite sum up what they use the area for, but calling it the Orphanage was too dark. Steve waits through the decontamination process. Once through, he takes the time to pull his mask off and enjoy the feeling of an artificial breeze on his face before heading to the Daycare.
"Please tell me there's something useful in that box," Annie Click says when Steve pushes his way into one of the rooms they use for school. Another room is dedicated to being a daycare, kids too little for learning, another is schooling for kids who would be in middle school, and the last room is lines with beds.
"Sorry, Mrs. Click, but I didn't pack it," Steve says apologetically.
"My problem to sort out then," she stands and Steve can see the determination in her through the weariness. She'd been a bitter old lady as his teacher but the world ending must have shifted her priorities. There's no one better suited to look after the kids than her, here.
Except maybe Joyce, but she's got bigger things to deal with.
He heads for the door when Annie calls out to him, "Since you're here, would you mind checking on the kids for me? Holly's supervising bedtime but she's lenient with her friends."
"Will do."
He heads across the hall and down a door to the sleeping room. The lights are dimmed and peeking in he sees a lot of kids sleeping, or pretending their best to be. Holly is sitting in a rolling chair near the door, one leg bend and pulled up on the seat as she rests her head on it.
Steve clears his throat to get her attention. She must have heard his footsteps because she doesn't spook. Just uses the foot on the ground to spin the chair to face the door. "Oh. Hi Steve."
"All good here?" He whispers.
"Yeah. Everyone's asleep."
"You can probably head home now. Your dad's back."
Holly shrugs one shoulder at him, spinning the chair back away. "Maybe later."
Steve takes the hint and backs away. His chest aches for Holly. All the kids had to grow up fast, given the state of the world, but Holly's hurts him most. He knew her in the Before, and she was there when Karen... Well, she's got a lot of weight on her shoulders at barely eleven years old.
To think. If they'd have been faster on that Spring Break. More diligent, thorough. Holly might have never known about the Upside Down at all.
More regret he can carry, he thinks, as he shoves his mask back on and heads back to the truck. There's more to be unloaded, and always work around to keep him so busy he doesn't have to think of the regrets.
He works so late into the night that once he gets back to his cot and collapses into it, there are no thoughts let in his mind as sleep claims him.
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@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @music9009 @apomaro-mellow @soaringornithopter @reighnofdreams @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @andrew-mini-ard @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77
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lurafita · 5 months
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Malec meet pre-canon divergent
(considering tv-show canon only, as I don't know much about the books) I personally found it a little weird that Alec and his siblings had to be briefed about the High Warlock of their territory, by Hodge. Shouldn't Alec, as the acting head, have been aware of the most prominent downworld leaders in the city his institute is in? Wouldn't Magnus have been in the institute before, for ward maintenance or things like that? Wouldn't they have had to call him to close rifts that demons were popping out of? (Not like those kinds of things were ever shown or discussed in the show, but then again, the show was very stingy where details and backgrounds were concerned.) Anyway, I would like to propose a series re-write, where Alec and Magnus get to know each other pre-canon, and Magnus has the chance to bolster Alec's self-worth and confidence a little. And then exploring what effect this might have, as Alec wouldn't be such a pushover where his siblings are concerned. (I actually just really like re-writes of given plots that explore changes to said given plot, so that personal guilty pleasure might heavily play into this prompt…. 😉 )
possible scene:
They could meet on site for rift closure, and Alec is laying down a plan of attack, because some demons have already gathered. And then Jace is trying to propose another plan (that's less tactical than Alec's was and more of a 'run in head first' kinda deal). And Alec is not confident about his own plan versus Jace's, and he is about to give in, but then Magnus is like: "I agree with the pretty boy." And Jace smirks and goes: "See, the high warlock thinks it will work." And then Magnus goes: "Oh no, I was talking about his plan. Yours sucks."
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I think, if a relationship between them (platonic heading for romantic) exists for some time, Magnus would probably let slip about Maryse and Robert having been in the circle. Not in a malicious way. I think Magnus assumed that Alec knew. So maybe one day Magnus offers to check over the wards, and Alec accepts and wonders loudly about why his parents didn’t commission check ups for two years,
and Magnus just "Well, they have tried to limit their business with downworlders as much as possible. Which isn't surprising, seeing as many of us feel that they haven't been sufficiently punished for their crimes while they were in the circle. But it's not as if I would have refused the job. I might have overcharged them, … Alexander? You look pale, is something wrong?"
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I just see them having lots of little conversations that help build Alec up, while not just being simple compliments. Like, when Alec doubts his leadership qualities and asks Magnus about his opinion, as Magnus has fought in a few wars and known a few figureheads. "I believe being a good leader comes down to knowing and trusting in yourself." "Shouldn’t that be 'knowing and trusting my people'?" "That, too. But it's important to know your own strengths and weaknesses. For example, I'm one of the most powerful warlocks out there with a deep and varied understanding of my craft, and I look dashing in silk. I'm also impatient, occasionally vain, and I can be quite petty. Now what about you? Let me start you off. You are afraid." "Wow, didn’t think you would start with a weakness." "I didn’t. Well, maybe a little bit. Fear can be both. But in this case, I meant it as a strength." "How?" "Think back to our first meeting. The fear of not knowing what the situation was we were walking into, made you come up with a strategy that allowed us to assess what was going on, while also ensuring minimal collateral damage. What do you think would have happened had you been as cocky as your parabatai, and stormed right in?" "… We wouldn’t have known about the circle members, or the back entrance. The perimeter wouldn’t have been secured. The teen warlock might have become a victim to a shadowhunter blade, had you not had the chance to see the enslavement collar on her." "See? You have good instincts, Alexander, and a great mind for tactical manouvers. That is something you should trust in more."
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arihi · 29 days
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I’m obviously not as active as I’d like to be on here anymore- for a variety of reasons, and just not having enough time for it lately. I get in my head about not belonging to the community anymore, but then I think about how I wound up dragging XX number of people/friends to hypnosis cons, all my old blogging, stories that still get likes/comments years and years later - and I founded Read Only Mind with Doc! Lately I’ve seen ROM discussed on Twitter, and a friend of mine even talked about it at a kink event in another country and people knew about it! Makes me feel like I’ve done something good.
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wangxianficrecs · 8 months
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All will be well when the day is done by abCEE
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All will be well when the day is done
by abCEE
T, 76k, Wangxian
Summary: The one where Yu Ziyuan time traveled but she thought that it was her visions of her alternate life. She learned that there is a brat named Wei Ying who brought destruction to her and her family's life. And so in her present, she vowed that she will never allow that to happen. In which Yu Ziyuan found the four-year-old Wei Ying, newly pushed out of the inn where his parents left him, and decided that no, this child must never be associated with her, her family, and their sect at all. And so Yu Ziyuan thought that she could bring him somewhere where someone may or may not find him but definitely far from where her husband could find him. If he's lucky, he'll survive that winter, if he's not, then death awaits the fevered child. This is the extent of mercy that Yu Ziyuan could give a child. With this, she'll raise her children without having to deal with a brat that brings trouble where he goes according to her visions of her alternate life. Like the tag stated, this is definitely not Yu Ziyuan centric. Kay's comments: One of my go-to stories when I feel spiteful towards the Jiangs and just want to see Wei Wuxian thrive and be loved, as he deserves. In this story, we have time-travelling Yi Ziyuan, who promptly ditches Wei Wuxian once she's back, but luckily, he gets found by the Lans. He grows up in Gusu and changes the life there for the better. I really enjoyed how the Butterfly Effect played out here and how this story showed just because you time-travel, doesn't mean that things play out in your favour and things definitely don't play out in Yu Ziyuan's favour :> Excerpt: Lan Zhan's earliest memory was when he went to visit his mother once a month in the Gentian House together with Lan Huan starting when he was three and his brother was six. Their mother would open the door and welcome them in her arms. They would spend the whole afternoon with her until it was time for their uncle to fetch them. Then when he turned five, he was not able to see his shufu for a couple of months. It was Elder Nainai, the Elder in charge of the nursery who accompanied him and Lan Huan to go and see their mother. He learned that his shufu was always in the medical pavilion. Gossip is forbidden but he heard that his shufu brought a child after he went to Caiyi a few months ago. Later on, their mother opened the door and welcomed them to her embrace as always. When they entered, seated on Liu Meiyue's cushion was a child. "His name is Wei Ying. He is four and will turn five next month. He will live with us here in Cloud Recesses from now on," his mother said as she fixed his and Lan Huan's forehead ribbons.
pov alternating, canon era, canon divergence, fix-it, time travel, butterfly effect, time traveller yu ziyuan, jiang family bashing, jiang family dynamics, madam lan lives, sect leader nie lives, accidental baby acquisition, wei wuxian goes to gusu, non-yunmeng wei wuxian, lan wangji/wei wuxian gets a happy ending, wei wuxian isn't adopted by the jiangs, no sunshot campaign, unreliable narrator
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
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lunart-06 · 10 months
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My Makoto Naegi angst analisis thing (Hc)
(PLEASE KEEP IN NOTE): That this is just my general idea of him, kinda scared to share this cause qjdnnejf I know everyone has different opinions on Makoto so I'm just posting this in my own prespective of him. (It's a little messy cause I am unstable and disorganized when I write this so beware ooo)
Here's the art I made for this
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So like, I believe Makoto has issues I think we all established that, and the moment when komaru mentioned of how he changes a lot in UDG (but still hold some same aspects of traits and habits that just makes him.... him) after managed to contact him the first time. It strucks me so bad that it gaves me a migrane /vpos
Like, Makoto earned his new title of the ultimate Hope (with the capital H and everything) just by defeating Junko the ultimate despair? By that point he was seen by the world as the savior and as the first and only hope they have thought lost for YEARS
Makoto's ability to move everyone by just words to which he probably didn't even realised the power he held over it. He's just incredibly passionate and its because his whole body speaks GENUINE emotions, his stubborn willpower and determination undeterred by despair and everything Junko herself has set up for.
It is something not everyone has the luxury to have. His optimism. But that's the thing.
Makoto was the ultimate Hope, only because he was just optimistic in nature. It was the flock of the moment during the last trial, his contagious optimism is what everyone, his friends, the world, preceives as Hope. The enlighting feeling of inspiration by just words of support and motivations for the first time since years after the tragedy started.
But again. Thats the thing. The "Hope" they admire, they clung onto, they worshipped, and they DIE for, was his mere optimistic nature. Just like he said himself "Optimism is all I'm best at".
Its cause well, it's true. (Kinda)
All he was ever good at in his view was just being that. When I rewatched future arc I sense how unBEARABLY useless he is without that title and usual positive nature, and his words don't reach the leaders of future foundation from attempting to kill one another (aside from certain ones, and at the very end ofc, but even then it was too late to prevent the deaths). His words doesnt even managed to reach Ryota from preventing him in using the Hope brainwash video.
It just further shows how.... normal he is
Despite the title, it just shows that he is nothing but a normal guy. He's not some god everyone preceives him to be, he's just some dude that was placed in a wrong time and place.
It's like all the good he is being- well, normal. Like typical "good kid". Somehow it kinda hurts to think about it, like you're obligated to see all positive in lives for it as everyone depends on you for such.
And now the whole world was in the palm of his hands.
I feel like he's scared, despite his strong stand and brave, determined face, he is a normal, ordinary guy that scared to lose what he was ever good and seen by everyone as. Being optimistic and hopeful.
Its like he's not allowed to even be sad for a moment to cry his hearts out. Because the world depends on him, his friends depends on him, he rely on them too much, he cant lose hope cause if he does, the world will fall apart AGAIN, and people will die AGAIN (just like his classmates, just like the people who died for him) he doesnt think he can handle that the second time.
Since that one thing Makoto despises the most is violence. Death to be exact.
He was probably exhausted but he cant yet, he has to keep moving forward, for the world's sake, his friends' sake, his only remaining family; his sister's sake, and for the sake of those who had died so he can carry out their hope that was left behind.
Theres also this quote that remind me of him:
"I'm scared that the moment I look like I'm suffering. Noone will believe me anymore"
Because like. He really cant do things as much without his friends. All he has was his hope; his positivity, determination, and optimistic nature. So he stood tall, facing despair, putting up a strong look just so people of the world, and his friends know, that they all can trust him. To have faith in him.
Because being optimistic is all he's best at.
That hope he has held dearly was destroying him internally. Scary thing is it? Despair isnt what was breaking him. It was the very thing that he was good at. And the very thing everyone thought of when they see him.
Just like junko when you think about it. She- ultimate despair, destroyed herself by the very thing she is (basically executed herself in the last trial) and now makoto was doing the same thing.
"The world's hope", "the strongest who never falters at the face of despair", "the savior", "their guiding light"
How much longer should he keep that up? Before everyone realised that he's nothing but just an ordinary, plain, boring guy?
How much longer should he fall before allowing himself to hit the ground?
A sprout who never truly managed to grow old, it's choose to shelter other by it's leaves, holding still, unmoving.
Yet its roots slowly rotten by parasites and disease, trying to keep the earth together. They can't die now, they're the protector, the hope of it all. <-(quote by one of my friend Ele, which I think is neat in itself, considering Naegi's name means sappling or seedling in general ajdhwjdj)
He may have survived the first killing game that birth his title as the Ultimate Hope,
He may have survived the second killing game in the Neo world program that shows us how devastated it must be for Makoto that Nagito would go that far for the sake of hope, how Makoto's words and hope does not reach the remaining survivor,
He may survived the third killing game in the Future Foundation where it must be devastating that he's unable to understand the victims fully from preventing them to try and kill eachother off ("don't try pretending you understand them, you don't understand them at all" kinda feel), where he watched as Kyoko died for his hope, not telling him THAT she will die, letting him live because not only that he was the closest friend she ever has, but knowing her; she thinks that the world still need the ultimate hope, and because of that, she was ready to accept her fate for it, because she was assured that Makoto is strong enough to move forward even when it's hard, because she has faith in him. Because she believes that Makoto will never give up Hope.
Eventhough he had survive countless scenarios where he could die anytime of those. I feel like eventhough he had survived multiple times.. he had died, multiple times as well, to become who he is now (multiple rebirth symbolism). To the point where he is unrecognizable in his own eyes, the feeling of the old him far out of reach, who is he now?
Things are so simple to him back then, why does things don't make sense to him about himself now?
He may never feel lonely outside, because he believes that his friends will always have his back, he believes that there will always be someone that could give him a hand.
But here, in his own mind, in his own exhaustion, in his own struggle, in his own confusion, he is completely all alone. This one is his alone to go through, his friends has too much on their plate already to handle this, he relied on them too much already.. (in a way, perhaps, he try to rely on others less).
Theres soooo many I wanna say about him but this is the general idea of my view on him, or er, version ig? His accidental savior complex that is.
And don't make me start of his self-sacrificial tendency. /lh
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