#college misadventures

[ozziesdisco]

Things my bio prof has said out of context:

"Don't drink petrol. But if you do, don't say that I told you to drink it."

"The snakes here are extremely venomous it doesn't matter if you're pcm or pcb or pcmb student. if you get bitten by a snake, you'll die. But don't be scared, it's only your first day."

"The next time you think about how you studied for six months but got no result, imagine your parents' situation- they raised a kid for 17 years and got no good result out of it."

"So a boy drank 2 litres of pepsi in one sitting and died. My advice is to not drink 2 litres of pepsi in one sitting, but if you absolutely have to, don't say I told you to do it."

"I didn't say that they should die, I just said they shouldn't live."

"In 2020, the only things in my lab that DIDN'T get covid were my zebrafish."

"People with glasses are unfit for living in the Darwinian "survival of the fittest" thing. So if you wear glasses, you'll probably die." (he said, as a man with glasses. bonus: a guy with glasses wanted to ask a doubt about that, but ended up removing his glasses before he stood up and asked because of this tangent)

there's probably more things he said, but I unfortunately can't remember them off the top of my head right now. but the thing is- he says all of this with a completely straight face and it is impossible to not laugh at it at all.

[larsnicklas]

WILL SMITH ✧ 240104 We've played Sweden in two gold medal games the past two years, so I think that's a rivalry now and uh, it's 1-1 in that match... Obviously we have the semifinals coming up so both of us need to get there, but there's definitely a rivalry there.

[powderblueblood]

Dear Powder, may I please request

"Look, I'm just gonna go home and kill myself. You want to share a cab?"

With my girl Robin please? 🖤

200 CIGARETTES SENTENCE PROMPTS!

"it's ten pm!"

robin stares at you like that means anything, literally anything, the both of you letting the cold seep through you on this frozen city street. lights dapple the slowly thawing sidewalks. snow bunches up around stationary cars like mounds of forgotten icing. the light dapples her face too, peeking out from behind her woolen behemoth of a scarf-- multicolored reflections from tacky christmas bulbs still hanging all around make her sparkly eyeshadow even sparklier, like a pre-show for the new year's fireworks.

she looks pretty. prettier than you remember her from freshman orientation, and you remembered her.

you scoff. "you can't kill yourself at ten pm on new year's eve, it's like-- it's like you didn't even try."

"i tried!" robin protests, hands gesturing wildly towards the bar you've just followed her out of. "i tried, and i got stood up, so i failed, okay?"

"and you wanna go into the new year in a new city with that bullshit attitude?" your arm goes up and you're hailing a cab. she's just kind of bobbing her mouth at you, but you know that you both need to find another bar-- and fast. "fine. but the way i see it, you got two more hours of spectacular striking out left in you, buckley. better make 'em count."

the yellow cab screeches to the curb and you hold the door open for her.

"wait a second, are you offering to wingman for me?"

you shrug. "why not? i got dumped tonight, remember? i need somewhere to channel all this affection or it'll give me an ulcer. i really don't want an ulcer!"

she stares at you a sec, brow pinched like why would you do this for me? you don't even know me!

"and look!" you extend a hand, "if we totally fail, you can at least kiss me at midnight before you go home and stick your head in the oven. deal?"

robin swallows, takes your gloved hand in hers. "my dorm only has a toaster oven."

you giggle. reluctant to let go of her hand. "then we better get to work."

[princewished]

If Al was a particular flavor of dumpster fire, what flavor would that be?

So when I was in college - this is a true story - me and a pal of mine would go down to the local Denny's around 2am.

This was just for something to do, usually. College was rough and we were hungry, and the dining hall closed at 9pm and the student food store closed at 1am. it's not like we were high or drunk or anything. we just really wanted some food that wasn't the dining hall food that was inexpensive enough. we'd probably go once every couple weeks.

One day we're sat in this Denny's at 2am - and the Regulars are there, you know, the people you find at 2am in a Denny's, mostly the local stoners, a couple of quiet drunk college kids, a couple older people who didn't want to go home yet but couldn't stay at the bar (Closing Time style). and we've ordered our food, we always got the same order, and the waitress goes back into the kitchen and that's that.

Well, about five minutes later, we hear a shout. We're sat pretty close to the kitchen, and it's pretty loud, pretty urgent. "FIRE! FIRE!"

Well, we look at each other, and then look at the other patrons, and then look at the workers. No one's really moved, and it's 2:15am by now, and it's not like there's alarms going off, so we stay put. there IS the smell of something burning, but it's a kitchen, so.

About two minutes after that the waitress comes out, and her hair is all frizzy and she's all frazzled and breathless. She says, "hey, so, we're gonna have to - change your order, uh, the toaster oven caught fire so we can't toast bread or anything else."

Me and my pal are like, "sure, that's fine. We don't need toast. No worries. What happened?"

And she says, "well, the toaster caught fire, and it was kinda bad, and the alarm system is broken. But don't worry, everything's under control!" with the kind of exhausted grin you get when you're kinda on the edge of hysteria, like the overtired, I'm-not-paid-enough-for-this smile. so obviously we're not gonna give her any trouble or anything.

and no one else has moved and it's not like she's running out, so we stay put.

She goes back into the kitchen to relay our changed order, and comes back out like thirty seconds later. I don't actually remember what they were out of this time, but it was also the product of the fire having spread to something, but again, we're just college students who want something a little better than dining hall food and she's got that smile on her face, so it's whatever. We ate our eggs and bacon without toast or waffles or whatever it was we ordered, and the Denny's peace was restored.

Anyway, all this is to say that that's Aladdin's dumpster fire flavor approximately 24/7. Part of him is shouting FIRE! FIRE! and the rest of him is just the "this is fine" dog meme

[hunnybunny316]

Did I have to drop 2 classes because I failed a class this semester that was the requirement for said classes. Yes. Did I enroll in 2 more classes in time slots of those classes I just dropped. Also yes. College is tough when constantly commuting to campus and trying to balance life commitments.

A win is a win🤷🏻‍♀️

[kevyeen]

thinking about how i have a fully written fic (40000+ words) in my gdocs but i only showed it to one (1) person and everyday think about posting it but then my brain somehow conjures up every way it could go wrong and i know it's illogical and im not gonna be hung at the square if there are plotholes or mistakes but still.

[paskariu]

look at this joke of a browser begging to not be replaced

“it’s not required to download a new webbrowser; microsoft recommends the usage of microsoft edge for a fast, quick and modern web experience with which you MIGHT save time and money”

BROS YOU’RE EVEN DRAGIING YOURSELF EDGE MIGHT SAVE YOU TIME

IT MIGHT

YOU SAID IT YOURSELVES LMAO

[ozziesdisco]

ok so i finally have interesting stories to tell about my life since college started so i'm probably going to post them here

anyway

lemme talk about what was probably one of the most chaotic mornings of my life.

so. we were supposed to have a sports orientation at 7 in the morning (which was a decision nobody supported but everyone had to go along with it because people were taking attendance). My dumb ass woke up at 6:55 so already i was late.

i go. brush my teeth. and come back to see that my room is locked.

i have no phone no key nothing. legit everything is in my room except for my brush and mf vicco vajradanti toothpaste. and my roommate is nowhere to be seen.

so i run and find her friend (who was thankfully in the floor at the time) and call my roommate, who was already downstairs and also running extremely late

so she legit puts the keys on the floor of an empty lift and is like "stay on the line and tell me when it reaches our floor". and i told her when it did and then fucking RAN to my room and took bath

then full on did some usain bolt level running to the sports center (which i swear to god is some 870548768070000 kilometers away from the hostel)

it was already 7:20 and the orientation was supposed to end at 7:30 so i was like HDCSIGFKDGIHDHBDOHBGDUODUIOYGSYIDGF

and when i reach there i found out legit all they did was introduce themselves and tell everyone who did sports to introduce themselves

and make us into groups and see which group laughs the loudest

while telling us not to do drugs

so basically

i panicked screamed jumped ran and did all sorts of tamasha to go to a class where some theatre kid was instructing people on how to laugh loudly. and i was late for breakfast because of this bs

smfh this is why i hate sports

[disneyprincemuke]

» disneyprincemuke's f1 masterlist

series

vettel reincarnate * female!driver -> after retiring from formula 1 at the end of the 2022 season, f1 legend sebastian vettel realised a while after the announcement that he would miss the paddock way too much. instead of taking back his announcement, he pairs up with an up-and-coming driver and gets her a seat in a race car in formula 1.

in another life * female!driver x logan sargeant -> "if not in this universe, do you think we're at least together in another?" "there has to be at least one where we're happy."

it's nice to have a friend * logan sargeant x platonic fem!driver -> it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

i'm giving up your ghost * multiple drivers -> i’d live in these stories forever if it means being with you

fast times and fast nights * f1 grid as wags -> what do you expect when you put the grid and their partners on a reality show?

i said "i love you" * valentine's day special -> different reactions to the phrase

max verstappen

midnights -> a compilation of lonely midnights shared between you and max following your breakup

5 times -> there are five times max almost caught himself saying he loves you, and then there’s the time that he finally let you know

3 times -> you've had a crush on the racing prodigy for as long as you've known him - you had your own troubles biting back on words too.

glitter -> it’s the morning after a party, and you find yourself tangled up in bed with your boyfriend

the other woman -> everything falls into place in your mind when max fails to show up for you at the one event you desperately wanted him to be at

charles leclerc

i quit drinking -> you were never one to turn down alcohol. when you do, it causes a ruckus among your friends.

to forget you -> you avoided alcohol to forget the likes of charles, but he coped by drowning himself in the very same thing that reminded him of you

you called -> you called, so he came.

george russell

sex -> it was supposed to be just sex

be mine -> your last night together ended on a bad note, and now you’re back after months to explain yourself

alex albon

love like this -> alex may be the reason your parents are separating, but he proves to you that soulmates still exist

get this right -> the thought of proposing to you is one that always comes easy to alex, but what he hadn’t expected is how difficult it is to execute it

first podiums -> it’s her first win in formula one as a female driver and her boyfriend can’t be any happier for her

logan sargeant

take my hand * prince!logan -> the princess, to inherit the throne after marriage, is having the hardest time trying to find a man to wed. until, a certain duke of somewhere comes riding in to ask for her hand

our spot -> a text from you is the last thing logan expects when he's back home for the holidays especially when it's your first text in almost two years

our spot, 2 -> it’s about two weeks since you last saw logan and you find him sitting all alone in the dark

oscar's girl / logan's girl -> logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart

where the fun begins * frat!logan (college!mick) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

to the moon and back * dad!logan -> the misadventures of little luna sargeant

carlos sainz

one of your girls -> you’re just another name in black ink in his long list of girls, and you should know better. so why are you at his apartment in the middle of the night after weeks of radio silence?

oscar piastri

logan's girl -> oscar truly never thought he would ever see the girl that was the cause of his first ever heartbreak

mastermind -> oscar did not expect that he had to share a bed with you during his trip to visit you over his break

mick schumacher

no other shade of blue, but you -> you didn't have a favourite colour up until you met him

where the fun begins * college!mick (frat!logan) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

invisible string -> unbeknownst to you, there was a force that was pulling you and mick together your entire lives

[lev1hei1chou]

Kitchen Catastrophe

Gojo x reader Genre: Fluff Words: 425 Synopsis: Gojo isn't the best cook, but he tries. Masterlist

It was a quiet evening at the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. You had just returned from a particularly grueling mission and went to Principal Yaga to give updates. All you wanted to do was relax after going home. Little did you know, Gojo had a surprise in store for you.

As you entered your shared apartment, the scent of something burning hit your nose like a curse gone wrong. You followed the trail of smoke into the kitchen, where you found Gojo wearing an apron that had a rather enthusiastic depiction of panda bears.

"Welcome home, my dear!" Gojo greeted you with a wide grin, despite the cloud of smoke surrounding him.

"Baby, what on earth is happening here?" you asked, trying not to cough from the thick air.

"I thought I'd make you a special meal to celebrate your successful mission!" Gojo proudly announced, gesturing to the kitchen disaster unfolding before you.

You surveyed the wreckage—pots blackened beyond recognition, vegetables scattered like cursed spirits fleeing from Gojo's cooking skills, and a smoke alarm wailing in the background.

"Special is one way to describe it," you mumbled under your breath.

Undeterred, Gojo presented a plate with what appeared to be a charred lump of something. "Voila! My masterpiece!"

You squinted at the unidentifiable object on the plate. "Satoru, is this supposed to be... curry?"

He nodded proudly, "I tried to add a personal touch by channeling my innate charisma into the spices." he sighed dramatically. "Turns out, charisma isn't a suitable replacement for cooking skills."

You chuckled, realizing that Gojo's culinary adventure had transformed your kitchen into a battlefield. "Well, I appreciate the effort, love. Let's just order takeout, okay?"

But Gojo wasn't one to back down easily. "No, no, no! I'm not giving up that easily. I'll make it up to you. Just wait here."

You watched as Gojo attempted to salvage the situation, but with each passing moment, it seemed like the kitchen was swallowing him whole. The smoke intensified, and you could hear the distant sound of a fire extinguisher being activated.

"Alright, maybe takeout is a better idea," Gojo admitted, emerging from the smoke with a sheepish grin.

As you both settled down with a much safer meal from your favorite restaurant, Gojo couldn't help but laugh at his own misadventure. "I guess I'll stick to being a badass sorcerer instead of a chef."

You raised an eyebrow. You wondered what your state of mind would be when you go to clean up the kitchen, but that can wait.

[hauntedestheart]

Security Footage - Body Swaps (Part 1)

One of Trevor & Andy’s misadventures, a more detailed account of the sort described in Security Measures - Body Swaps

While the university claimed it was supportive of its professors doing independent research and experimentation, Professor Bernard Smith of the Humanities department suspected that "using ancient magics to take the form of one of his students" was a proposal that likely wouldn't make it past the review committee, so he kept his activities on that project private.

He thought of the past twenty years he'd given to academia and heaved a melancholy sigh- society didn’t really put much consideration to how emotionally taxing it was to be a college professor. Every day, year after year, he stood at the front of a classroom and looked out upon a sea of smiling youths hopeful for a bright future that he had already resigned himself against; he aged, but his classes never did. Every rakish young man was a reminder of who he’d never be, and beautiful young woman was a reminder of what he would never have.

After all, the clock only moved one way.

Or, he glanced down at the ritual items he'd assembled before him. Maybe there's a miracle waiting for me.

He lit a candle and the changes began.

🔀

Once it became clear that Andy's… situation wasn't going away, moving in together had just made sense, but in the back of Trevor's mind he had been worried about it. Old habits are hard to unlearn and he hadn't yet shaken the niggling doubt that if they spent too much together and the novelty of the relationship wore off, Andy would realize that he could probably find someone better and leave Trevor hanging for a second time.

Reality was much kinder though, and living together actually brought the two boys closer than ever. Between school, attempts at a social life, and their constant misadventures, their small apartment became a sanctuary where it could be just them and no one else.

Trevor grabbed his bowl of tortilla chips and made his way from the kitchen to the living room, where Andy was sprawled out on the couch clicking through options on the television. Andy gave a little wolf whistle at the sight of his boyfriend bending over to put the bowl on the table, which made Trevor roll his eyes, and he picked up a chip from the bowl and flicked it towards Andy's face.

The throw fell short and bounced off of Andy's chin, dropping down and settling atop the boy's pronounced bosom; he plucked it up and tossed it in the air. Trevor watched with mild bemusement as Andy actually caught it with his mouth then squinted his eyes shut while he chewed, scrunching his forehead up as if he were deep in thought.

"Mmm, I'm detecting notes of salt… a hint of corn… is this gourmet? It must be," Andy smirked up at Trevor then leaned forwards and grabbed another chip, popping it into his mouth with a crunch. "This is why I got man who can cook. I would starve without you."

He threw Trevor a wink and a smile, which Trevor responded to with an eye-roll and a smile of his own. Andy scooted back on the sofa and spread his legs, patting at the empty space in front of him, and Trevor slipped in to claim his spot; the larger boy wrapped his arm around the smaller boy's midsection and placed an absent kiss on his head before returning his attention to the tv.

"Is this what you picked for tonight?" Trevor asked, referring to the film queued up on the screen- some sort of anime movie he didn't recognize but vaguely recalled Andy mentioning before. He tilted his head up so he could see Andy's face above him. "Have you seen it before?"

"I have, but I want you to see it too," Andy smiled down at his boyfriend before giving a mischievious chuckle. "It's awful, you're gonna love it."

Watching bad movies had become something of a "thing" for the two boys as Andy (for some reason) thought Trevor's dry observations were hilarious, and if Andy was introducing the movie as awful, Trevor knew he was in for a good time.

As Andy clicked play, Trevor snuggled in closer to him and gave a contented sigh. His muscular boyfriend boy liked to joke that he worked out so much so he could give better hugs, and when those strong arms were wrapped around him, Trevor could believe it. Being with Andy had made him appreciate being on the smaller side for a guy because it meant they fit together perfectly, and Andy's broad physique made for an incredible pillow.

He leaned back and rested his head on Andy's firm pecs, relaxing as he felt the young man's belly pushing outwards against his back while they- wait.

Trevor bolted upright and looked over his shoulder to confirm his suspicions- Andy's body was changing, and from the expression of shock on his face, he was well aware of it. Surprised, Trevor slipped off the couch and fell onto his ass, and his new vantage point on the floor let him see that his boyfriend's toned muscles going saggy beneath his clothes. The transformation made it appear almost as if he were melting, and the sight of it made Trevor so queasy he had to look away.

"FUCK!" Andy exclaimed, staring down helplessly at his hands as his skin bubbled and his flesh grew softer. He hurled himself off of the couch and bolted out of the room, the slam of a door echoing down the hall a moment later.

Well, Trevor thought to himself. There goes our weekend.

🔀

Unbeknownst to the couple, in a house across town, a lonely old college professor was having a significantly nicer evening. The Egyptian ritual he had uncovered had gone off without a hitch and now, everything that Andy had lost belonged to him.

"Well, I'm definitely getting tenure after this!" Bernard announced to no one in particular. He'd just made a major breakthrough in his field by proving that magic was real, and the proof was staring back at him from the mirror!

He leaned in closer to the glass and stared into his new eyes, tilting his face back and forth to admire the enviable visage he'd stolen from one of his students. A smile, which made him look rather dashing, appeared.

Andy Douglass from his Intro to World Religions class was far from the first jock to pass through his classroom, but there was just something about the boy that had caught his eye. He was an okay student, often late with his assignments but otherwise unremarkable, but his appearance made him hard to overlook- the tallest boy in the class, magazine-worthy looks, and a sculpted body so good it was actually a distraction to the other students.

Professor Smith couldn't miss the way every girl in the class spent more time looking at Andy than at the whiteboard, even going so far as to arrive at class half an hour early just to stake out the seats closest to where he usually sat so they could ogle the way his biceps flexed whenever he raised his hand. But whenever the young women tried to chat him up after class, the stud never seemed interested in them. The professor thought he was an idiot for it- beautiful females were throwing themselves at him and he wasn't taking what was offered? The young fool clearly didn't appreciate what he had.

After a few weeks of classes the professor had begun to fantasize about what it would be like to be the one in Andy's shoes, to be the hot young stud who had his pick of all the girls in the school. If that were his muscular body he would use it right and plow through as many women as he could find!

So when he'd stumbled across a spell to "take the form of another" in one of the hieroglyphic scrolls he'd been translating, there had been no question about who he would use it on.

Words could not describe how incredible it had felt as the spell took effect and the years shed off of him, his body shifting until all traces of his old visage were gone and he stood there in the form of the student he'd so envied. The professor quickly divested himself of his clothes so he could perform a thorough examination of his new body to gauge the effects of the ritual- as a staunchly heterosexual man it was a bit strange for him to be studying another man's body so intimately, but since it was his now he relished the opportunity.

It was a literal weight off of his shoulders as his belly melted away into nothing and for the first time in decades he had a flat stomach- more than flat, it was cobbled through with abs. He could touch his abs now, and he couldn't bring himself to stop rubbing at them just to feel the rock hard ridges beneath his fingers. In his old body these muscles would be shriveled up from years of disuse and buried behind layers of fat but now they were fully on display, and they looked damn fine! This was actual six pack, the kind that came from countless hour of crunches and other such exercises that Bernard knew nothing about.

His entire body was now threaded through with muscle and he had no idea where any of it came from but he was grateful for it and he intended to have a lot of fun with it. Broad, well developed shoulders slithering down to powerful arms that hung down on either side of a set of hefty pecs that look like they belong on a Greek statue- and he felt as good as he looked! Everything about his new body was so tight and compact, built out of trained muscles that stood up proudly rather than weak flesh that surrendered to gravity.

Experimentally, he dropped to the floor and began doing push ups- he hadn't even thought of the exercise since his days in high school physical education class, but he was filled with a burning need to test out his new muscles. Back in his old body he’d usually collapse after one or two and then need an aspirin, but as he pumped up and down with his strong arms he felt like he’d never have to stop. Liquid gold was flowing through his veins!

Over and over again he sank so close to the floor that his chest almost touched the boards, but something else always touched down first- the pièce de résistance of his new body, Andy's penis. Given the unfortunate size of the cock Bernard had been born with he'd been certain that it would be an improvement no matter what his student was packing, but this was beyond his wildest dreams. Even soft it was a behemoth, and the heavy balls that accompanied it were equally impressive. He'd certainly made the right choice when picking a new body!

Grinning, he hopped back up to his feet, appreciating the simple joy of being able to stand without his joints protesting. The years had not been exceptionally kind to him but even in his youth he’d been something of a weakling, so being a strapping young lad was a novelty to him. One he intended to make the most of...

There were so many possibilities! His mind raced but ultimately he came to the conclusion that there were really only two things he really wanted: to drink and to fuck.

In his real body he got drunk often (partially due to the sting a lifetime of missed avenues and wrong choices, mostly due to boredom) but there was a difference between drinking alone and at a party... and as for the sex? Bernard turned his attention down again, admiring the young man’s enormous cock. He couldn’t imagine what lovemaking would be like with such an impressive tool at his disposal!

Tilting his face side to side he admired how handsome Andy was. With that strong jaw, those deep brown eyes, the manly stubble, he’d certainly have no trouble landing a pretty young thing! And a head full of hair too! He ran his hands through his hair, a bit surprised by its unfamiliar, wooly texture, but he wasn't going to complain because he was just thrilled to have anything on his head.

"Hello there ladies," he tested out his new voice, which was so deep and rich compared to his old one. If he'd taught classes with a voice like this, maybe students would have listened more! He leaned in to the mirror, letting him stretch his new wingspan, and imagined that he was talking to a group of admirers. "I don't suppose any of you pretty young things would be interested in showing an old man a good time?"

"No? Well how about a young stud like me instead?" he said cockily, making his bicep bounce a few times, and he pictured a classroom full of girls swooning. "Ladies, please, don't fight! There's enough of me to go around." He winked then reached down and took his new cock into his hand, wagging it around so its huge (even when soft) length danced, and he felt his balls tingle. "More than enough for all of you."

His mind drifted back to his ex-wife, who had left him after ten years of marriage because she "wasn't attracted to him anymore" and he cackled with delight when he looked at the young stud in the mirror. He'd like to see her try to say that now! But he wouldn't give an old broad like that the time of day anymore, no, he was more interested in girls "his own age," and on a Friday night he knew there would be plenty of them out there waiting for him.

Satisfied with his examination of his new body, Bernard hastened to get dressed so he could head out for a night on the town. He could work out the realities of his situation tomorrow- tonight he was going to have some well deserved fun.

None of his boring old clothes would fit a body like this so he'd thought ahead and picked out a new outfit to match his new body- something classy, unlike the baggy dreck that the youth of today wore. He slipped into a button up shirt, purposefully leaving it unbuttoned halfway down his chest to allow a tantalizing peek at his new torso, and he dabbed a bit of cologne on his wrists for good measure. The pants were a bit tighter than expected and he had to shimmy his hips to squeeze himself inside and leave the belt fairly loose, and when he looked in the mirror he realized why.

"Oh dear god..." he whispered, turning himself to the right and left to get a view of how his new butt strained at the back of his pants. He'd had to guess at the boy's measurements and he'd severely underestimated the size of Andy's posterior. Bernard never understood the fascination that young men these days seemed to have with their posteriors- what on Earth would any man need with such a giant backside?

But when he turned back around and saw the bulge in the front of his pants, the only thing he could think about was stepping out the door and finding someone to use it on.

"Get ready world," he boldly declared. "There's a new big man on campus."

[hunnybunny316]

You know I really love the girls bathroom. Not because it stinks and there’s always that one sink that doesn’t work but for the little writings in stalls. The little periodic conversations through those writings. The small doodle and little words of encouragement. The small conversation with friends.

It’s the casual preening that everyone does or the rushed makeup touch ups and the small complements that strangers give and the friendships that blossom from it.

I’m quite introverted and making friends as a adult is quite difficult but the girls bathroom on campus is where I made a majority of my friends.

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

The Bat Family Timeline and Ages (Post-Crisis and New Earth) with Sources

Evidence

In Batman: Year One, Bruce is said to be 25 in the January he returns to Gotham. The 1976 DC Calendar puts Bruce's birthday on the 19th of February so Bruce is 26 during his first outing as Batman in April.

Marv Wolfman's Batman: Year Three (Batman vol. 1 #436) tells us that Dick Grayson's parents die in Bruce's third year. In Batman vol. 1 #441 (also by Wolfman) Tim says that Robin started appearing around 6 months after the death of the Flying Graysons. For Dick's age when he becomes Robin, see below.

Bruce joins the Justice League before Dick forms the Teen Titans. Both these teams form before Barbara Gordon becomes Batgirl at 16 (Batgirl: Year One).

Barbara and Dick are each other's dates to their high school prom and so are less than 2 years apart in age (Detective Comics vol. 1 #871).

I suspect Dick, who was an emancipated minor, graduated high school and started college a year early, which allows Dick and Barbara to have some time as the new Dynamic Duo, as we see in Batman Family.

Dick Grayson is 18 when he forms the New Teen Titans, all of whom are also teenagers (Nightwing vol. 2 #137 by Wolfman, who also created the New Teen Titans).

Dick Grayson is 19 when he becomes Nightwing (Batman vol. 1 # 416).

21 year-old Helena becomes Huntress (Huntress: Year One #1), and interacts with Batgirl, meaning that Barbara is not yet Oracle.

Jason dies at 15, 4 months before his 16th birthday (Batman Files). This is before the New Teen Titans' third year anniversary (New Titans #71), before any of the Titans turn 22 (Deathstroke vol. 1 Annual 1), 2 years after Dick becomes Nightwing and almost 10 years before Dick's parents are killed (Batman vol. 1 #436). Dick is hence 21 during these events and 11 when he became Robin.

I also kinda like Dick being 17 years younger than Bruce because that's also the age difference between Adam West and Burt Ward from the 60s TV series.

After these events, Tim Drake becomes Robin and is 13-14 (Batman vol. 1 #441 and Robin II #1)

Soon after, Stephanie Brown is 15 when she becomes Spoiler (Secret Origins 80-Page Giant).

Stephanie is still 15 when she realises that she is pregnant (Robin vol. 2 #59) and Tim is almost 15 during this time (Secret Origins 80-Page Giant).

Cassandra Cain is 17 when she comes to Gotham during this time (Batgirl vol. 1 #1), during No Man's Land which lasts one year.

Helena’s family were killed when she was 8 and during Batman/Huntress: Cry For Blood, Tim says the murders happened roughly 15 years ago, making her roughly 23 during this storyline.

Cass turns 18 in January (Batgirl vol. 1 #39), Tim Drake turns 16 (Robin vol. 2 #116), Jason would have turned 18 in August (Detective Comics vol. 1 #790), and Stephanie is 16 when she "dies" (Batman Allies Secret Files & Origin).

Personally I'd re-arrange Tim's 16th birthday to be the last of these events four events to accommodate him still being 17 late into the Batman: Reborn, see below.

Jason soon returns to Gotham as Red Hood, not long before Infinite Crisis, 52 and One Year Later.

Following the one year time skip, Dick says it's been almost 10 years since his misadventures with Metal Eddie and Liu as a 16-17 year old (Nightwing vol. 2 #133 by Wolfman), which makes sense because he would be 25 by my math.

Stephanie returns from her time as a medical volunteer in East Africa, finishes high school and begins university during Batman: Reborn. She'd turn 19 by the end of this year by my math, which is a typical age to be begin attending university (Gotham Underground and Batgirl vol. 3 #1).

Dick calls Damian Wayne a "10 year-old" before Stephanie attends university (Batman and Robin vol. 1 #2) and Steph still calls Damian a "10 year-old" while she's in her second semester (Batgirl vol. 3 #13 and Batgirl vol. 3 #17). He might have turned 11 before the reboot.

Batwoman: Elegy (Detective Comics #858), during the Batman: Reborn year, shows that Kate was 12 when she was kidnapped and saw her mother and sister killed. This incident is also said to happen "20 years ago”, making her 32 and hence 30-31 during her first appearance in 52/One Year Later.

Tim Drake is still 17 while Steph is in her second semester of her first year at university, and it's stated that he is meant to be in his senior year at high school (Batgirl vol. 3 #13, Red Robin #17 and Red Robin #25). It's possible he turns 18 before the reboot.

Mistakes I Made

Cassandra Cain is 21 in Year Eighteen.

The "Titans disbands" in Year Thirteen was definitely a year early but it's done.

[theweirdgoodbyes]

Fuck it, more dive bar!au to add onto my others posts

Owner: nix owns the bar because of course he fucking does. He graduated college and sat in his basement getting high for months on end until his parents basically threw 100k at him and told him to do something with his life

Manager: so when they first opened dick was the manager but got a job at Darden corporate and left to make more money (and be able to date nix). Now speirs is the manager and always appears when you least expect him (“why are you cutting limes like that-“ “CHRIST SPEIRS CAN YOU NOT I HAVE A KNIFE”). Lipton is the assistant manager and everyone goes to him first because he’s not as scary.

bouncers: bull and bill are the bouncers and they’re both pretty good, the only difference is that bull will never fight you in the bar and bill will ONLY fight you in the bar

bartenders: joe is their best bartender but also the cause of half their fights because he’s a mouthy shit. Welsh and Luz are tied for second best but Luz gets caught up talking to customers and forgets to charge people for drinks. Buck used to bartend but got a “big boy” job and is now their “oh shit we’re drowning” emergency call.

Barbacks: muck and penkala are the barbacks and consistently get into misadventures while changing kegs. They tried to train both of them on bar and it was such a disaster that they lost 500 bucks in sales for comping people.

Cooks: malarkey is their pseudo head chef and makes a damn good burger. Toye is in charge when he’s out and Shifty and Floyd also work in the kitchen. They’re kinda in their own world back there and blast daddy yankee all night

Servers: Eugene is their best server and everyone requests him when they come in because he’s so fucking fast like has waters on the tables in seconds and quite literally runs food while it’s still steaming. Perconte also serves and constantly fumbles but he’s so lovable that no one gets mad at him

Hosts: web and babe are the hosts and they share a singular brain cell during working hours because they’re too busy jabbering away about dumb movies or books. Eugene is constantly scolding them for fucking up the seating rotation.

Does everything: Johnny fucking Martin, he’s technically an assistant manager like lip but is constantly having to fill in as cook, host, server. He bitches about it the whole time but secretly loves how busy it keeps him.

pleaaaaase feel free to add on!!!