#comedic quotes

[knight-the-unfunny]

"i just planned it 5 seconds ago"

-my sister (on a plan to go to a location)

[dragonflavoredcake]

Scar, singing: Sliiide to the left! Wels: *SCREECHING OF METAL AGAINST GRAVEL* Scar: Sliiide to the right! Wels: *MORE SCREECHING* Scar: One hop this time! Wels: *clank* Scar: Two hops this time! Wels: *clank clank* Scar: Now everybody clap your hands! Wels: *clankclankclankclank clankclankclankclank*

[uniquetempo]

Open up your eyes people! Don’t you realize what you are doing? Don’t you realize what you are saying? You are contributing to this disaster! Though you are not behind those doors, you are still part of it! Look up! Now look to your left and right, what do you see? Yes, you see each other; you see humans. We are the problem. We are the cause to this effect. We are the reason for all of this. Stop blaming everything else. We are responsible, so let’s take responsibility for our actions….. Let’s create more humans.

[incorrect-tokens]

Sleep: Don't let anyone treat you like an option

Sleep: You're inevitable, a horror beyond comprehension, an omen, a threat

Vessel, tearing up because he has to step into the grocery store: Thank you...

[biblicallyaccuratestiles]

STILES: "Well, shit on a waffle and call it syrup, she just—"

DEREK: "Don't ever say that again."

[awhoreintheory]

Peter in Gotham peeps I need someone to write the batfam realizing Peter is Not From This timeline/universe bc he used some stupid ass slang

Tim, got talked into trying to convince Peter to come home with them: listen, Peter. You're homeless and an orphan and I think I could help you—

Peter: Cap

Tim, who spends a frankly illegal amount of time with Bart + the Batfamily's absolutely batshit exploits:

Tim, narrowing his eyes: Yes... cap indeed...

[robotleech]

i can't begin to express how ashamed i am by how funny this clip is. this isn't even including the following bit of simmons just yelling while firing the warthog gun at a rock in the background of the reds' dialogue.

[lokh]

this has been in my head ever since

[devildomwriter]

“You’re not done with your potion yet?”

“I’m working on it right now. It’s not like this requires much effort. I just toss a few things in the pot, and… AAAAAH! IT BLEW UP!”

“…What were you thinking? You need to measure your ingredients before adding them!”

“Details! I don’t have time for that!”

— Mephistopheles and Thirteen (76-7)

[project-sekai-facts]

Maybe I dreamed that up but did you have a post about Tsukasa being repulsed by romantic plays? Or something like that? I swear I've seen mention on that somewhere but i don't remember where...

repulsed isn't the right word but he has a habit of writing unnecessary amounts of violence into romantic plays.

in kamikou festival, his adaption of R&J involves a bunch of romeos engaging in a violent battle over juliet, and generally puts much more of a focus on the violence and action than the romance. he does it again in Emu's wedding card story where he suggests killing every character that gets in the way of the wedding in Emu's play.

also in kaito's mermaid card story he writes out the romance part of little mermaid, however the reason given for this change in the main Mesmerised by Mermaids story is that wxs' version of The Little Mermaid is simply a homage due to the original tale being too tragic for their audience of young children (also there's a certain out-of-universe reason why wxs never does romance plays).

tsukasa likes violence.

[personinthepalace]

there's a divine supermoon tonight - look! 😀

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: i love that every current manga series has a title like…

KANKRI: "N9w just h9ld 9n a minute… is it inappr9priate f9r me t9 be dating tw9 stepsister slime girls at the same exact time???"

DAVE: while every manga in the 90s was just called something like…

KARKAT: "BLOOD JOE"

[dragonflavoredcake]

Cleo: I really do like butterflies.

Joel: Really? They aren't very hardcore, are they?

Cleo: They drink blood from corpses. I am more than willing to do the same.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Comic Sans Valentines: British of the American Revolutionary War Edition

[foodbin]

its real to me

[fnafverse-quotes]

*in UCN*

Happy Frog: You know what, guys, we’re going to win this!

Withered Chica: Why?

Molten Freddy: Because we have the element of SURPRISE!!!

Springtrap: Exactly. Not even WE know what we’re doing.