#crying and sobbing. no spoilers yet but the ending made me cry

[mangora]

I just watched the new disventure camp episode dont talk to me

[carcarrot]

who up crying in their latte

[strawbeerossi]

This Is Me Trying

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Ex-wife!Reader

Description: Spencer shows up at his ex wife’s door late in the night, riddled with guilt from years of their separation and needing to confide to her why he left her the first place.

Content Warning: Prison arc discussed but no spoilers, mention of PTSD, mentions of drug addiction/relapse, mention of violence, heart wrenching angst, crying, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex, missionary, lovemaking, aftercare, happy ending.

Word count: 4.5K

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The last thing that she expected was to hear a firm knock against her apartment door. It was ten in the evening, who would need anything from her this late? Maybe it was Mrs. Martin, the sweet little old lady next door, wanting to drop off some freshly baked treat that she wanted her to try before she took it to one of her game nights. Which, Y/N had to admit, she loved when she’d come by with her signature chocolate chip brownies, she always made a heaping amount to share with her younger neighbor just because she expressed liking them one time.

She was approaching the front door. Using the peephole of the door, her heart sunk. Instead of seeing an older woman with a plate of treats in her hand, she was met with Spencer Reid.

It had been years since they talked last, the last time being a tearful Y/N begging her husband not to walk out the door, to stay and work out their marriage that she was afraid was starting to crumble into a thousand pieces. She could remember the bitterness, the hatred in his voice.

“Wait! Spencer, baby, please.” Y/N’s voice was hoarse from sobbing, her throat raw from having to yell over his loud voice just to get him to listen. “I know it’s hard but I need you to stay, we can work this out together. You know that. We always do.” Spencer was turning his head to face his wife, already packing his clothes away. “I don’t want to fucking stay. I don’t want your pity. Ever since I got home, you’re treating me like I’m some sort of child! I’m not!” His tone was laced with venom, enough to make the tears spring up in Y/N’s eyes again.

She knew prison would chip away at the Spencer she’d fallen in love with five years ago but she never expected things to go down like this. She’d done everything she could’ve thought of. She always made him some of his favorite dishes, she’d read to him, she’d hold him when he sobbed in her arms and relived the most traumatic experience he’d went through thus far. It was never enough.

He was different now. Irritable, temperamental, and he had a hard time composing his anger, not to mention that his once beautiful honey colored irises were dull, almost lifeless. He lost himself in prison, he wasn’t ever going to be the same. Instead of always greeting her with a hug and a smile after his days at the BAU or after cases, she was greeted to him starting to distance himself from her. It went from him coming home an hour late, to two hours, then three. She stopped making dinner, she stopped staying up to wait for him, she even stopped trying to reach out to him.

There was guilt, her brain rattled with so many what-ifs. If she left him alone more, would he have stayed with her? Would he have given her the same amount of love and dedication he’d once given her before? What could she have done to make him slowly begin to push her away, to serve her with fucking divorce papers?

Her tears stained the documents, her signature blurred out from how much she sobbed over the idea of losing the one real thing she’d ever known. No matter how much she wanted to hate him for his decision, she just couldn’t. Spencer had her heart, he took it with him out of the door when he left her, tucked away in his suitcase covered by the numerous suits and other necessities.

She was pulled out of her pain filled memories the moment she heard yet another knock. Was this a cruel joke? She was taking in a breath, collecting what little confidence she could manage to build up before she was unlocking the front door, her hand shaking from fear. As she was opening the door just enough to peak her head out, her lips were pursed in a fine line.

“Spencer.” Y/N spoke, her gaze firm on the man who had given up on her. “Hi, Y/N.” His voice was soft, a stark contrast to the tone of their last conversation. “Can I come in..?” He asked, though his hand was slowly resting against the front door as he pushed it open, Y/N taking a few steps back to grant him access. She should’ve slammed the door shut, she should’ve locked it and sent him on his way. Yet here she was, slowly closing the door as she invited him to make himself at home.

“What are you doing here?” It took a lot of courage for her to open her mouth, her arms slowly crossing over her chest. She wasn’t going to cry anymore, mainly because she was so tired of crying over him. She’d done it enough within the past few years, if anything, she should’ve been out of tears.

“I’m here to talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Y/N. I haven’t been honest with you. Guilt has been eating away at me and I can’t help but feel shitty.”

You should.

She’d never say it out loud but judging by the face she made, Spencer already knew what went through her mind.

“I just want to apologize. You are owed that much. Whenever I got out of prison.. I was a different person entirely. I stopped putting much effort into any of my personal relationships..” He began, which before his ex wife could cut him off, he was looking up from his feet with glassy eyes. “It’s because I was getting comfort from.. Other influences. Dilaudid.”

Spencer’s last addictions never defined him throughout their entire relationship, in fact, she was proud of him. He’d been doing so good, the temptation coming up every now and then but she’d be there to push him, to give him so much love and support to try and curb the relapse that could occur.

“Drugs change the writing of neurotransmitters in your brain, which can lead to aggression or mood swings. That’s why I was always hostile towards you and why I didn’t want to be around you.” Spencer explained, eyes on the ground in shame while his hands were coming up to rest over his face. “I knew I had a problem, I did. There was one day when you were trying to get me to eat lunch and.. I wanted to hurt you.” His voice broke at the admission, unable to meet her gaze. “That made me realize that I had a problem. A problem that I couldn’t control. If I couldn’t control my emotions, I would get to the point where I couldn’t control my actions..”

Just the thought of that scared the hell out of him.

“I left because I didn’t want to hurt you. It would kill me if I ever did anything to you. I mean, I was already spiralling because of the vivid nightmares from prison. PTSD and drug use are a horrible combination, dangerous. I couldn’t risk hurting you.”

The explanation had hot Y/N like a ton of bricks. How could she not notice he had a relapse, she was supposed to be by his side and she couldn’t even fucking tell that he was struggling with impulse control as well as his emotions. “Why didn’t you tell me? Spencer, I could’ve helped you.” She whispered, stepping closer to her ex husband while slowly taking her hands in his.

“Because you didn’t deserve a damaged husband who would weigh you down. I can’t expect you to babysit me all day and night, it wouldn’t be fair to you. You have a career, you have friends, you have so much going for you. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if you threw your life away to essentially take care of me.” His words were barely above a whisper, as if the two had a risk of anyone listening in on their conversation.

“You are not damaged.” Y/N scolded softly while she was squeezing his hands slowly. “Spencer, I love you so much, I’ll always be here for you. Wife or not.” She said softly while her hand was now coming to rest gently against his cheek, as if he were fragile and one wrong move would shatter him like a stained glass window.

Spencer was finally meeting the irises that he couldn’t ever get out of his mind, the way there was a shine in them. Eyes were the window to the soul and hers reflected a beautiful, colorful soul and a strong fighting spirit she always carried with her. Even when she was broken down, that shine was there.

Her love was radiating onto him at the smallest touch, the man’s eyes closing briefly as if to compose himself. “I love you so much, Y/N. I will never be able to forgive myself for the way I pushed you away, the way I ended our marriage. I should’ve confided in you sooner. I just.. I was worried about you.” His words were genuine, a gentle smile spreading across his face. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He whispered soon after.

If his pupils could be the shape of hearts, they would be. One thing about Y/N was that he adored her. He cherished her, took care of her. Even in the end when things went south, part of him still had that love that was locked away behind a crippling addiction that broke him down in the worst way possible. “When I wanted to just go back to using, I thought of you. How proud you’d be of me if I held off, how you’d tell me I did an amazing job getting back on track. You are my inspiration.” He whispered, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, holding her face in his hands as his thumbs traced over her soft skin.

There was a soft smile gracing Y/N’s features. “I am so proud of you. It takes a lot to admit when you have a problem, it takes even more to better yourself. Even if I’m not fond of the way you went about it, I understand.” She was honest. She didn’t like how he had to divorce her and disappear from her life. Nobody in their right mind would be okay with that.

For the first time since he’d came inside, there was a content silence filling the living room. It was comfortable. For the first time, home felt like home. However as the both of them stayed within each other’s embrace, it wasn’t long before Spencer was leaning down to kiss her.

Their lips met in a bittersweet collision, as years of longing and unresolved emotions surged through their bodies. The kiss began tenderly, a delicate exploration of familiar territory, before gradually intensifying with the fiery passion that had once defined their relationship. In that moment, they momentarily forgot the pain that had driven them apart, reveling in the sheer magnetism that still bound them together. There was no more pain, no more wondering what had gone wrong.

Their tongues danced in a rhythm only they could understand, tasting the remnants of past love and the promise of a future reignited. As they reluctantly pulled away, their gaze locked, and they both knew that their love still burned strong, an everlasting flame that kept them bound together. After all they’d been through, the love and care was permanent.

While drawing in a breath, Y/N kept her gaze on Spencer before slowly running her hands up his chest. It wasn’t a suit tailored for him like she’d been so used to before, instead a casual cotton shirt. In a way, it was comforting. He thought about her at times where he wasn’t chasing evil men and women on cases, when instead he was home at.. Well, wherever he lived now.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” She asked after a moment, her words coming out slow and her tone delicate, as if she had to worry about scaring him off if she was anything but. “I always sleep so much better with you..” She added on soon after while playing with a loose thread on the shirt, almost as if she had to distract herself from the way her heart was nearly beating out of her chest.

It gave her flashbacks to when she and Spencer had first started dating, the both of them being soft with each other. The way that they’d both be nervous to ask the other to stay the night or when they’d be laying together and spoil each other in the wonders of intimate touch, their lips moving in sync.

That seemed so long ago now.

“Yes,” Spencer responded, not needing to spare a second thought. “I’d love to.” His own heart was racing, the feeling of being home slowly coming back to him. The comfort of Y/N being home, willing to hold him when he needed her. Tonight, he knew he needed her. In more ways than one.

Without a passing thought, the woman was being lifted into his arms while Spencer was reattaching their lips. There was love and need, yearning for the soft touch that they once shared. With the feeling of fingers tangling in his longer hair, he was almost running back to the bedroom that he’d remembered so well.

Without breaking the contact of their lips, Spencer was leaning down while carefully placing Y/N on her back, as if she was breakable. She needed to be handled with care, with appreciation. Not anyone would accept their ex husband despite his faults or listen to him when he’s explaining why he left. Most women would probably slam the door in his face. Not Y/N. Not the woman with a heart of gold. He didn’t deserve her love but she was willing to continue serving it to him.

Once she was on her back, Spencer was slowly pulling away. “I love you.” He whispered, the words just falling out of his mouth, reverting back to the ways that once were. The nights where they’d lay in the darkness, embracing one another during lazy post-coital conversations before falling asleep in those same positions.

“I love you so much.” He repeated as he felt like she needed to know his feelings never changed. His lips began to trail down her neck, his hands running down the silk nightgown. “I love you.” Y/N finally whispered in return, her head relaxing in her pillow while her eyes were fluttered shut, melting at each placed kiss.

Spencer let his teeth graze the now burning skin of her neck, eliciting a beautiful moan to fall from the woman’s lips.

This was heaven.

His lips were moving from her neck soon after that, his head lifting while the two were interlocking in a shared loving gaze. “You can keep going, you know.” She whispered, a little giggle leaving her lips at the way his eyes glistened in the soft lighting of the bedside lamp at her urging him to continue.

Spencer’s fingers were coming up to the flimsy straps of the nightgown, slowly pulling them from her arms while leaning down to trail kisses along her right shoulder. His hands were working to slowly tug the sleep garment off, almost as if he had to carefully unwrap a present to preserve the wrapping paper. He didn’t want to rush this. He wanted her to see how much he truly did love and miss her.

He’d take care of her tonight.

Once she lifted her hips to assist in discarding the nightgown, he was drinking in the sight of the near bare woman in front of him.

Spencer had eidetic memory, however, when it came to Y/N’s body, you’d think it was his first time seeing it. The way his cheeks would flush, the way he’d revert back to being the shy man who couldn’t help but stare as if she were a beautiful oil painting hanging in one of the highest esteemed art galleries in Paris, France.

He was now sitting between her open legs, eyes scanning over her body as his large hands were slowly running up her inner thighs. “I’ve missed you, so much.” He spoke, gaze now moving to the beautiful smile that was spreading across her face. “I’m glad you’re here.” She spoke softly, the two basking in the moment. There was no rush, no. Instead, they were enjoying the intimacy of soft touches, admiring bodies, sharing longing glances.

“May I?” He asked, fingers now getting dangerously close to the place where she needed him most.

“Of course.” Her head nodded, a blush on her face.

The panties she had on had a sizeable wet patch in the center of them, her body reacting so positively to his kisses, his touch, everything. His fingers were slowly running over her clothed cunt, electricity shooting through her body at the mere touch.

“My beautiful girl.” His voice was husky now, fingers looping in the waistband of her panties before he was tugging them down her thighs, a groan ripping from his throat once he could see her glistening pussy, sticky with arousal. “God, I love you.” He repeated for what felt like the millionth time in the night.

Spencer was getting up momentarily, pulling his shirt over his head before discarding his pants as well, leaving him in his boxers. As he’d gotten onto the bed, he was now laying between her thighs, hips pressed into the bed for when he ultimately needed relief of his own.

With one hand keeping her plush thighs apart, his tongue was now licking a stripe up her pussy, collecting just a taste of her arousal. Hearing her shaky breath from above him was enough to encourage his movements. After a few more long and teasing licks, his fingers were coming up to spread her puffy labia apart, his lips blowing cool air while the woman was mewling from pleasure, goosebumps spreading across her skin.

He ate like a man starved, his tongue lapping up all she had to offer to him, like eating one of the ripest fruits on the vine that was bursting with more flavor and sweetness after being freshly pulled from the tree branch. His chin was coated in her glistening juices, his nose brushing against her clit while his tongue was focused on swiping over her velvety walls.

With the sounds of pornographic moans filling the room along with the way her fingernails were digging in his scalp, it became to a point where Spencer was desperate for relief, his hips rocking against the mattress while he was focused on bringing the woman to her peak. As soon as he could feel her thighs begin to shake and her words were more incoherent, he knew what was to come next.

It wasn’t long though until he was pulling away, chuckling at the way she was desperately clenching around nothing as soon as he pulled away. “Hold on, pretty girl.” He purred, getting his fingers lubed up with his own spit before he was plunging them into the woman, a low moan leaving his lips as she was greedily clenching around his digits and pulling them in more.

“There we go.” He praised, the two fingers being thrusted inside of her needy core.

“I’m gonna— oh fuck, Spencer.” Y/N breathed out as her eyes were squeezing shut, her words encouraging him to fuck her faster with his fingers. She could feel the coil tightening in her stomach, her moans and whimpers of his name falling steadily from her lips.

All it took was him curling his fingers and pushing against her spongy sweet spot before she was cumming around his fingers, her hips rocking steadily against Spencer’s hand as she was doing her best to catch her breath, chest rising and falling rapidly.

As she’s ridden out the high, Spencer’s hair was being tugged in a gesture that was telling him move your ass, Reid.

So he was nearly stumbling to crawl up to hover over her again, the two attaching their lips in a much needed, more messy kiss than before. “Please,” She mumbled against his lips, making Spencer pull away. “Please what?” He asked, needing to hear her say it.

“I need you.”

Those words had his already hard cock aching in his boxers, making him stumble a bit just to get them down his legs before they were being tossed with the rest of the clothes in the bedroom.

“I don’t have a condom.” Spencer spoke, letting out a hiss of pleasure from the feeling of her hand wrapping around his cock to give it a few tugs. “We don’t need one. I don’t care right now.” Her voice came out in a desperate tone, making the man nod as he was letting her line up his tip with her leaking mound.

He was pushing into her slowly, sinking all the way to the hilt while the two let out a collective moan, Spencer’s head falling against Y/N’s shoulder as he let his eyes flutter shut, kisses being sponged to her shoulders as he gave her a minute. The way her hands were gripping onto him was a big indicator that just like himself, she’d probably not really gotten much action in a while.

“I’m ready.” She whispered, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as she was practically hugging him close. “I’ll go slow.” He spoke in return, now lifting his head to smear their lips against one another’s.

Spencer loved slow and intimate sex, the way they were pressed flush against one another, drinking each others moans while the world slowly stood still. His hips were thrusting at a steady pace, the feeling of her legs wrapping around his waist just to try and bury him impossibly deeper inside of her.

It was the ultimate form of love. Being able to savor one another, enjoy the closeness. There were times in the past where the two would talk and even giggle with one another while his cock was buried inside of her. It was comforting in its own odd way.

Tonight though, there wasn’t much talking. Instead there was soft, loving kisses, the mixture of moans and groans falling between the both of them, as well as the sound of the bed squeaking along with each thrust that the man made.

There was nothing but love in that bedroom, the two whispering sweet nothings to one another and making promises that would fully be fulfilled going forward. This was going to be the start of something beautiful, that was something the two were confident of.

“I’m close,” Spencer’s words were being muffled into Y/N’s mouth, the woman slowly pulling out of their shared kiss while she was bringing her hands up to cup his cheeks. “Me too, don’t stop.” Her words were soft, a moan leaving her lips as she was letting her eyes flutter shut, head falling back against the mattress as she could feel her stomach tightening again.

“I love you so much, Y/N. Fuck.” His words slurring together as he brought one hand between their bodies, his thumb swiping over her clit in order to have her cum first. He prided himself on pleasuring her first and foremost, himself being mostly an afterthought.

As the warmth of her orgasm was washing over her, Y/N was hugging him as close as she could get him while a soft cry of the male’s name slipped from her lips. Chasing her orgasm, it wasn’t long until Spencer was letting go, a few more thrusts doing the trick as his warm cum was filling her to the brim. The feeling had the woman shuddering in pleasure.

With a thin layer of sweat coating their skin and their bodies still intertwined, Spencer was turning his attention down to the woman who he felt an intense and burning love for. “I promise you that I am not going anywhere this time. I’m tired of fighting M on my own.” His words were soft, his breathing still uneven. “I love you and I never want to be away from you like that again..”

“I love you so much more. You know that I’m always here for you, right? No matter what you’re struggling with. We are supposed to always be by each other’s sides. I made that promise to you and I never intend on breaking it.” Y/N assured.

“How about we to get cleaned up?” The make suggested, forcing himself to move away from the warmth of her embrace briefly. Instead of letting her get up though, Spencer’s hand was wrapping around her ankle before he was playfully pulling her to the end of the bed, making the woman laugh as she was being lifted in his arms.

“You could’ve broke my leg!” She gasped, a teasing tone chasing the words as she was letting her arms wrap around his shoulders, lips pressing kisses across his face.

A she was carefully sitting her on the edge of the tub, Spencer was turning on the faucet. After he’d gotten the water warm enough for the both of them, he’d retrieved the plug for the drain. Approaching the bathroom cabinet, he was kneeling down and rummaging until he was grinning triumphantly as he was retrieving a bottle of bubble bath soap, holding it up. “I knew you’d never get rid of this. As dumb as it sounds, I was so pissed because I didn’t take this with me.”

After putting a generous amount of the soap in the tub and watching it foam up, he was waiting until the tub was filled to their liking until he was turning off the water. He was the first to step in, getting comfortable before holding his hand out to help Y/N get in, a smile on his face. Even if it was a little awkward considering he was a tall guy in a small tub, they managed to get comfortable together with her on his lap.

One of her hands was collecting a bit of bubbles from the water before she was moving to place them over his face, a little laugh leaving her lips as she’d given him a bit of a bubble beard. “How old are we?” Spencer asked teasingly as he was doing the same thing with her, the two unable to help the soft laugh filling the bathroom.

“So, I have a legitimate question,” Spencer began while leaning back against the tub, a smile on his face. “Does this mean we have to get married again?”

The question made Y/N pull a face as she was pondering over the question. He had a point. How did this work?

“I say yes. Only because I think you owe me a much bigger wedding this time.” She joked, making the male laugh.

“My queen gets whatever she wants.”

[cyb-rdva]

Forever the name on My Lips

Grim Reaper x Reader (Gender-Unspecified)

A Date with Death Fic

Full Bad Ending Spoilers (Bad ending 2) + Name Spoilers

Note : out of all the endings I've gotten, this ending brought me emotional and physical pain in every way as if I'm being hit by a truck, and despite that, this one is the one keeping me up at night and the one I've been daydreaming about every since I got it.

There he was, sitting still as his gloved hands intertwined with your cold ones, you were cold and unmoving.. He wished it didn't have to end up this way, he made it clear to himself that he won't take your soul, he was willing to betray his oath just to be with you yet.. Here you are.

In his arms, pale and no longer breathing, the words you spoke on your last breath brought him so much pain

"Grim, I think I like you too"

The amount of pain he's feeling right now cannot possibly equal the pain that the sinners are experiencing, but it's definitely near. He feels as though his heart is being pulled apart, it made it hard for him to breath.

Tears that fell from his eyes seemed to be infinite, your corpse now drenched with his tears as he gently caresses your face.

Oh how much he wishes to hear you laugh at him, but in the end of the day, this was still his job.

Before he leaves, he kisses your lips softly, searching for the warmth he felt when you touched back then.

He lays you down softly to the bed, [Pet Name] on his arms, he exits through the window and into the pale moonlight.

His job was done, his peers cheered and yet, he never had ever felt so empty.

He held azrael in his arm, tears kept spilling, his heart just won't stop crying

In each sobs, he calls out your name, hoping that you'd answer

You hoped this was simply a dream, you were the first person he'd ever loved and the only one that he would love.

And now you're gone..

"What am I supposed to do with my heart now?"

In every momentum, you had never left his mind, in every soul reaping that he ever does, the memories just kept on creeping back to him like a restless ghost.

And in every second, your name was the name he calls as the night sky pitied him greatly.

In every faces he'd come by, he looks for yours in hope you'd meet once again and maybe get a second chance.

The world is cruel, only death is fair

Why did you have to be gone? Just as when he'd gotten too attached, you'd decided to give away your soul, leaving him behind.

It was torture.

There is no Fairness in life after all.

Songs I recommend listening to while playing through the bad ending 2

If this was a movie - Taylor Swift

Talking to the moon - bruno mars

Haunted - Taylor swift

Promise - laufey

Running up that hill ( a deal with God) - Kate bush

Last kiss - Taylor swift

I want you - mitski

Francis forever - mitski

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 424: Detroit Tears

Previously on BnHA: You know what, fandom is way too heated about this still so we’re just going to leave that be that for now and not get involved. I have some conflicted feelings about it, but this is not the place or time. This is a happy post.

Today on BnHA: Oh right, Horikoshi still owns the rights to my soul. And I’ve just been reminded of why I willingly signed them over to him so freely.

Quick heads up that this isn’t going to be my usual style of chapter reaction post, in that it’s really just going to be a ton of rambling about That One Scene. Partly because I’m only halfway caught up with stuff, but mostly because tbh, this is the only thing that matters to me right at this moment.

Also this is your friendly neighborhood spoiler warning that I’m posting about a chapter which hasn’t officially been released yet! So proceed at your own discretion. This reaction is based on @pikahlua’s excellent spoiler translation writeup here. I’ve officially lost all of my fucks about spoilers and it’s extremely liberating.

I’m glad that Kacchan’s arm isn’t just magically better and that he’s never going to be 100% again. and also that the doctor mentions him needing to rest his heart as well. because I did feel like there needed to be at least a few lasting consequences from him LITERALLY DYING AND UNDERGOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. but I’m also glad they established that it wasn’t career-ending or anything. he’ll probably have some chronic pain and occasionally aggravate his old injuries while fighting, all of which is great for angst purposes. but it was good to see him being calmly accepting of that while also being determined to put the work in to rehab it as much as possible.

also enjoyed the doctor summing up Kacchan’s highly improbable main character resurrection and subsequent antics as basically being some wild bullshit that nobody can explain. lampshaded the shit out of it. “I don’t really understand” lol. nobody understands. in truth it’s that his secondary quirk is bending reality to his will in order to kick ass.

moving on to the main event now! so Kacchan and Izuku’s reunion was obviously the highlight of this chapter and of my life, probably. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it wasn’t. y’all know how it is.

what really made this scene for me was Kacchan being more upset at Izuku’s loss than Izuku himself. all those callbacks and all that guilt. that careful selection of flashback panels. the fact that Kacchan’s past bullying of the quirkless Izuku wasn’t glossed over or forgotten, and in fact is the emotional core that fuels Kacchan’s reaction here. Horikoshi didn't have to cut that deep, but he knows what he's about.

and then the crying. I need to write a lot of words about this right the fuck now. first off, having Kacchan just flat out sob while Izuku for once is the calm one (at least until All Might goes in for the emotional kill later on), is such a beautiful reversal and really shows how far they’ve come. even better is that none of it was even remotely out of character. I’m always appreciative when an author can produce top tier emotional hurt/comfort like this and have it feel earned and authentic rather than forced. well done.

also, “Na--cchan!!” fuck yeah Izuku. we’ll never let him live this down. (but also, him later trying to reconcile his forever-tough image of Kacchan with the crying, hiccupping version standing in front of him, by blaming it on Kacchan’s weakened physical state... oh, Izuku.)

also the fact that Kacchan so easily reverts to this smol crying boy even after defeating the world’s greatest evil pretty much activated every protective instinct that I have. he’s seventeen. he’s practically a man now. he’s objectively one of the strongest and toughest people in the entire world. and yet his eyes still go so wide and his face is still so young and Horikoshi still draws him so tiny and vulnerable whenever he’s like this. goddamn gets me EVERY single time. let’s be real, it’s been this way ever since the “you looked like you needed saving” scene back in the literal first chapter. just, omg. he’s still just a kid and he’s too small to contain all these feelings SOMEONE HELP HIM.

anyway so NEEDLESS TO SAY, Kacchan full on mourning in between sobs because he wanted to keep being rivals with Izuku cut me to my core. I cried too, goddammit. because in Katsuki’s mind it’s like. he wasted a dozen years of potential friendship by being a giant asshole. and they were only able to start getting things back on track less than a year ago. and that was probably the best year of both of their lives. and that rivalry meant so much to both of them. pursuing their dreams together as equals. and he wanted it to continue!! he missed out on so much, and it was his own damn fault, and now it’s all being taken away again maybe!!

and I think it’s especially devastating to Katsuki because he was trying so hard to make up for how he treated Izuku, and then this comes along and now he’s worried it was all for nothing. he’s scared that Izuku will maybe have to quit being a hero. (we know that won’t happen, obviously, but Katsuki is living this and not just reading it. he’s never met narrator!Deku and doesn’t have the benefit of all that foreshadowing and stuff.) but even more than that, I think he’s scared that it will undo all of their progress toward mending their relationship. not because Katsuki thinks any less of Izuku now, quirk or no quirk; but because of how Izuku might feel about being quirkless again, and because of the memories it might bring flooding back to the surface. I don’t think Katsuki fully believes that Izuku has forgiven him. so that’s a major fear potentially rearing its ugly head once more now.

and of course, he’s also just sad and upset on Izuku’s behalf, because he knows Izuku is sad about it too, even if he’ll never show it and will just downplay it because of his selfless nature. it’s a major loss, and one deserving of tears being shed, even if Izuku won’t shed any of his.

so yeah. it’s a lot. in Katsuki’s mind it’s the potential loss of a partner (if Izuku quits heroics), and a friend (if Izuku does cool toward Katsuki as a result of being quirkless again), and a dream (of them reaching the highest heights together), and his friend’s dream. so it makes perfect sense that all of that would overwhelm him. all of this is stuff that’s broken him down on past occasions as well.

so anyway it’s going be very cathartic when all those fears prove to be unfounded (because they better be unfounded lol). but in the meantime it’s a very moving reminder of how much he really does care and how far the both of them have come.

also Horikoshi really couldn’t resist giving Nobu one last chance to destroy everyone when this scene rolls up in the anime. that’s so reckless of him. there will be no survivors.

All Might telling both of them they’d become the greatest heroes was also the perfect chef’s kiss moment on top of everything else. we already knew it, of course. but it was good to hear him say it. and they needed him to say it. they needed and deserved to hear it.

and I really love that the qualities he specifically praised them for were the same things that each of them had struggled with the most in their respective journeys. he tells Izuku, who had such a difficult time learning how to tell the world “I am here!!”, that he inspires everyone and has become everyone’s hero. and he reminds Katsuki, who struggled with learning how to save people, and has especially struggled with his guilt over what happened to All Might at Kamino, that he saved All Might’s life and is the reason he’s able to still be there with them. both of them just really needed to hear that acknowledgement and encouragement, and it was such a powerful passing of the torch moment. All Might gets so much shit from the fandom, but he really is a phenomenal mentor when he’s in the zone, and I’ll die on that hill.

also a nice touch keeping the focus of those panels on the two boys and their reactions. even though I would have liked to see All Might’s face when he thanked them at the end, it definitely felt deliberate. this is their moment. their soft little tearful smiles afterwards punted my heart off a cliff and then picked it up and held it gently.

lastly, let it be known that I’m still convinced Katsuki has OFA (All Might vestige explanation when??), and it’s not lost on me that that would be a mighty convenient way for Izuku to potentially still go on a-quirkin’ in the end, if that’s how Horikoshi wants to play it. I'm just saying.

also before I forget, just a quick shoutout to Horikoshi for FINALLY showing all three members of the Bakufam in a scene together in which they finally managed to not be completely dysfunctional lol. my deepest darkest BnHA secret is that Mitsuki is secretly super high up on my list of favorite characters. and she was great in this chapter, and I love how she was just “WHAT THE FUCK” aghast at Katsuki using his main character powers to continuously ignore his injuries. and then she and Masaru kind of silently agreeing to step outside the room and let the boys and All Might have their moment. while still secretly listening in. because you know they were. good for them.

lastly for reals, I just want you all to remember that as great as this chapter was, the one thing that it was STILL missing which we have STILL not gotten is a HUG. we demand HUGS. I’m not leaving this manga till I get a bkdk hug goddammit. I will stay here all night if I have to.

[etheries1015]

Chpt 7 spoilers utc

A scenario in which...perhaps tears could persuade Malleus to end his reign of dreams?

When we got into Sebek's dream, I found myself getting a bit emotional when Lilia and Malleus started talking about living in Briar Valley together. Then Malleus finally arises and shows he's aware he's manipulating dreams to be pleasant for everyone as such:

What if...you start crying? You're in a world of magic, thrown into a completely different environment a sheer contrast to your boring and magiless life. Experiencing things you never thought were real, it's only a matter of time before you break down. So, before Malleus reveals it's actually him, you begin to have tears in your eyes from utter worthlessness and frustration?

All of them look at you in dismay as tears well up in your eyes and you bite your bottom lip, holding back choked sobs.

"(y/n)...?" Silver said in concern, taking a step forward and reaching out a hesitant hand, before pulling back in the uncertainty of how to handle such an unforeseen situation. "Why are you..."

"You know why," Your voice cracked, "This is all just...so..." Shaking your head, you hid your face behind your hands, tears pouring down your cheeks unable to stop.

"My dear," the dream version of Lilia coaxed, "This isn't a time for tears! This is the mark of new beginnings," He attempted to console you.

"As Lilia said," Malleus pointed out, "Where we can continue to get up to our shenanigans and create new memories that will last a hundred lifetimes-"

"That's not what I want!" You cried out, breaking free from your emotional confines, "I just..."

"Not...what you want?" Malleus stared at you with wide eyes at your sudden burst of tears entangled with anger. This is where his facade had begun to fall apart at seeing your state, where he hesitated in his resolve, only for a moment before becoming angry again at the notion of someone defying his ideals.

"What more could you possibly ask for?" He scoffed almost mockingly, "A life where you do not need to worry about people vanishing on you, a life where friends alike can create even more memories..." You had to force yourself not to fall onto your knees and begin sobbing right then and there, coming out of hiding from behind your hands you pointed an accusatory finger to the black-haired fae.

"This is no better than running away from the truth!" You cried out with tears pouring out of your melancholy orbs, "You can't keep painting over black with vibrant colors, Malleus. No matter how much we wish things were different, no matter what color we want it to be, you cannot just...override and disregard the decisions that were made!" Sebek took a step forward to chastise you but was blocked off by Silver, who had placed an arm in front of the male and looked at you with the same gaze of concern yet understanding.

"Change is scary, I know it is," You began to lower your voice, "But we made our choices. All of us have. Tears will be shed," You stepped forward looking into Malleus's wavering emerald eyes, "I can't do anything to take away your pain, Malleus. I can't do anything to fix what has been done, I can't just un-do the agony of your heart, and we can't force people to stay in our lives when they have their own to pursue." You stepped forward, opening your arms and engulfing the fae in a hug, digging your head into his chest.

"I just...want you back. And I promise, we can work through the sorrows together..."

"Just come back to me, please."

ngl I was 100% thinking about this scene of Betty and Simon from Fiona and cake:

[websterss]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 — 𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐘

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓: Never would you have thought that you’d be running for your life from the one person you trusted the most, but neither did you think that he would let you go. (From this headcannon from ☁️ nonnie)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒): SPOILERS, mentions of blood, dying, pregnancy, angsty, fluffy, lots of profanity

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 7,338

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Ethan Landry x fem!Reader    

𝐀/𝐍: Hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓  

You ran behind Sam and Tara. Keeping up with their pace, yet each time you looked back it slowed you down. You huff as you push yourself to go faster. Half colliding into things that didn’t help your survival rate. When you chanced another look over your shoulder. You felt a jarring sting in your side and were tackled onto the floor. You groan as you try and push off the arms on you. You try clawing at the ground in hopes to gain leverage but Ethan only continues to drag you backwards.

“Y/n!” Sam and Tara stopped once they realized you weren’t behind them. She ran over to help you get free, but you only shook your head. Crying out desperately, yet your hands clawed out for her. 

“Go!” You cry and cry trying to kick out your feet from his grip on your ankles. “G-Go!” Sam watches in terror as Ethan flips you onto your back. “Run!” You exclaim. You didn’t want to be the one that lessened their survival, but you also didn’t want to die either, not when you stared into his darkened eyes. You push against the side of his face. Grunting from his heavy weight on you. You were struggling as he straddled you.

“W-We can help her!” Tara runs to you, but Sam tugs at her arms when Quinn pops out of nowhere. 

“Tara!” Sam pulls her away, then takes off.

“No wait…Wait, no!” Tara cries out as her line of sight of you gets smaller and smaller, as she gets pulled away by Sam. She had just lost Chad, she didn’t want to lose you either. 

You turn your head to the side as he leans down. “Y/n be quiet…” You can feel his breath on your cheek. Which only makes you squirm more. He leans up, to appear taller. There was a burning ache in your left ankle. He was pressing down on it with his boot. He shifts to hold your wrist with one hand. The other pulled out his knife. You let out a faint whimper as he brings the tip of the blade up to your skin and pricks you on your cheek. A drop of blood slides down your jaw and neck. 

“If you’re gonna kill me then do it already.” Your lips tremble. Your body shakes with each sob you emit. “Just do it already…” You beg for it all to end quickly, for your life to have met its final end. 

He wouldn’t let up on his grip and your motivation to continue was running thin. You cry out, lips trembling as he let your wrist go and raises the knife above his head. You hold your hands out, hoping to be able to stop the knife from digging into your chest. Though the grunt he lets out scares you so much that you squeezed your eyes shut. 

You wait for the impact but it never comes, only a loud clatter of his knife next to the side of your head. You whip your head to the side, gaping at the weapon disregarded. You turn to look up at Ethan who looks conflicted with his decision. Tears brimming in his eyes, mouth pursed, jaw clenched. “Fuck!” You flinch as he shouts. He falls on his hands, his breathing heavy and his befuddled eyes locked with your bewildered ones. “Go...” He decides his decision was made, then and there. 

“What?”

“Get out of here!”

“Y-You didn’t kill me...” You utter with a slight shake in your voice. “You didn’t-” You remain laid down, head relaxed as you try and settle your heart. It was beating miles per hour.

“Go!” He repeats. He tugs on your arms, pulling you into an upright position.

“W-Why?” Your tremble out. A tear spills down your cheek, he wants to wipe it but doesn’t. Holding himself back. The screams of Tara startle you, your head whipping behind you two. Ethan's eyes rake up and down your face. Guilt paints his face. His heart was heavy because he didn’t even want to go through with this in the first place, but at this moment, he knew you were gonna be okay. He accepted that this would probably be your last interaction with him, and he was willing to let your last memory together be that of saving you. To hell with what his dad said about killing you, about Quinn telling him he was being smart because he got you to fall in love with him. If anything it was the other way around. He cared too much about you, he hated hearing your pleas and cries to end your life. He never wanted to see you fear him ever again. You turn back to find his eyes still on you. Fear glints behind your pretty eyes, ones he always seemed to get lost in. He finally reaches forward and rubs his gloved thumb over your cheek, smearing the blood of the nick he gave you. The lingering touch only lasts for a second before his hand drops.

“I can’t.” He utters softly. “I’m sorry. I can’t...You weren’t supposed to happen. We were told not to get attached…but I did anyway. I’m sorry.” He breathes out heavily. He stands up quickly, pulling you up as well. You sway but he helps you steady. Then it just felt like the chaos immersing around you stopped. Just you and him. “But you need to go!” He pushes you away from him. You stumble back trying not to trip. You keep wanting to say something but nothing leaves your mouth. Your mind was bottled with uncertainty and confusion. Disheveled by your chance to escape. You only stay in place, watching your boyfriend spare you. “Go!” He grows angry, pointing behind you. 

“T-Thank you…” Water fills your waterline again. You watch a tear slide down his cheek. You take a step forward but stop. There was still a lingering ache swelling up in your chest, a certain want to reach out and maybe give him one last kiss but you stop the urge. He was letting you go. You were being spared…that alone was a grand gesture in itself on his part, one a kiss couldn’t top. 

“I’m sor-” He chokes up. Your eyes narrow in confusion, then grow wide in shock as he topples over. His knees hit that pavement hard. You're about to run out to help him, but jump back seeing Quinn reappear. She had come up behind him. She takes out the knife and forces it into his side this time. Ethan cries out in pain, he grits his teeth as he turns to look up at her. “Bitch!” He grunts out.

“You know I’m getting tired of seeing him betray this family for your slutty ass! I never got what he even saw in you.” Quinn takes out the knife again. Ethan holds himself up with his hands. He spits out blood onto the floor. She now points the knife at you, shaking the weapon tauntingly. You narrow in on the blood that coats it. Ethan’s blood. Your eyes flicker down to him. Your jaw clenches. Your eyes well up, not knowing how to help him in this case. He lifts his head, your sneakers coming into his view.

“Y/n go-” He grunts out in pain as Quinn pulls him back by the hair and then sinks the knife into his chest. “G-Go!” He chokes out. Your lips tremble. Your eyes lock with his. He manages to give a weak smile. His red-stained teeth make you wince. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I love you…” He chokes out in the spur of the moment, blood dripping down his chin. You were hesitant but gave a nod. Hoping he’d understand in the very small movement of your head. That you’d be leaving him to die at the hands of his sister.

“God, you two are fucking pathetic!” She takes the knife out again and raises her hand up. You cry out as she repeatedly stabs him over and over this time. Ethan chokes up on his blood, shaking his head as you took a step toward them. Your heart shatters as she carelessly shoves him to the ground. You stare at his limp body. Anger stirring within you as you turn to look at each other. You compose yourself in that second, then finally do what Ethan wanted you to do. You turn and run for the exit. Your heart starts beating fast again. The fear of the chase was nowhere near thrilling, maybe for Quinn, but you were not about to let her take your life. You knock shit down behind you, trying to slow her pace. You take a few turns. Running alone, you realized was scarier than running alongside Sam or even Tara. You had turned to look behind you to find Quinn nowhere in sight. You turned forward again and jumped back when she popped right out in front of you. You scream as you take a step backwards. 

“God, do you have any idea how long I waited for this moment?” She chuckles. “We told Ethan he got dibs to kill you. Though I wanted nothing more than to sink this knife in your fucking heart. You’ve been a real pain in my ass these long three months. You know I was honestly so surprised when I learned that my brother actually pulled someone. Here I was thinking holy shit maybe he isn’t such a loser after all. Though when I came to realize that it was you…I thought he was only getting close to you for the sake of our plan, but that wasn’t the case now was it?” She points off in the direction you came from. “Ethan doesn’t love…he hasn’t let anyone in after our mom died. After Richie, who died at the hands of that bitch Sam!” She takes a step forward while you take another one back. “So why is it that he lets you go huh? What’s so special about Y/n Y/L/N? What’d you promise him in return huh? Sex? I wouldn’t be surprised if all you had to do was get on your kne-”

“Shut the fuck up.” You sneer at her. “The fact that you don’t know just how caring and loving he is, only further proves that you don’t actually know him. Knew him the way I did!” Quinn takes a swing at you but you dodge out of the way. “He’s not a fucking loser, you are!” You scoff, laughing and gesturing to her trying to kill you. This only amplifies her rage. This girl had an anger issue, perhaps continued forms of outbursts prompted by the lack of punishment. You really didn’t know. No form of correction, maybe she thought that since no one gave her any reinforcement, she thought it’d be okay to continue on being a psycho. 

“My brother is a fucking loser. He’s never had a girlfriend until you. He’s a fucking virgin for fuck sake!” She pulls at her own hair. “I’m the youngest and I’ve pulled more than that dumbass!”

“Yeah we know, you’re a slut.” Your tone is monotone. “God Mindy was so right about you. Horror movie classic slut who turns out to be the killer…and Ethan’s not a loser, and he’s no virgin either!” You grunt, kicking her back in the stomach. She stumbles back and catches herself.

“You fucking bitch!” 

“And you…A psycho killer. Glad we cleared that up.” You scoff as you grab something to throw at her. You flinched hearing, watching her charge at full speed at you. Her hand raised above her head, screeching. You readied your swing but closed your eyes as a gunshot rang out. You squeezed them shut. Splatters of blood now coating your face. You blink your lids open, eyes finding Quinn’s now dead body. You huff, having been startled by the sound, then look up to meet Sam’s raised gun. You go to thank her but duck when she fires off another round. You curl down and then look over your shoulder. Your eyes fall on Ethan, who had barely ducked in time too. The robe he dawned was nowhere to be seen on him. His blue polo is stained with his blood, reminding you of what Quinn did previously. You stand up hastily, putting yourself between him and Sam with her gun directed at him.

“Y/n move!” Sam exclaims. 

“He let me go!” You hold your hands out to her. “Don’t shoot him!”

“What?” She grows confused. “Y/n move!”

“He let me go…Please, he let me go!” You step forward, slowly putting your hand over the gun, lowering it so it was pointed toward the ground. “He spared me, Sam. He let me go…Please!” You breathe out, eyes watering. Sam is reluctant but loosens her grip. She clicks the gun back onto safety. Her guard was still up though. You turn back to Ethan, he stands there motionless. One hand holding a wound, the other at his side. How he was even standing, you hadn’t known. He had a limp in his step now. You hold yourself back from wanting to run up to him. A tear spills down his cheek as he steps forward. He’s halfway but you shake your head. “Get out of here Ethan. It won’t be long till the cops get here.”

“Y/n I need to tell you so-”

“Go!” You cry. “You spared me, we’re sparing you now. So, please…Go okay. We’re letting you go.” A hand holding back Sam so she won’t try anything. He gives a defeated nod. Chin down, but he gives you one last solemn look. His shoulders slump. He looks at you and then up at Sam. “I’m sorry…” He rasps. 

“Go Ethan. I will shoot...” Sam warns and closes her eyes, sighing as she starts to let her guard down. She turns away while you watch him look around, then take off, you watch him struggle, holding his side as he walks away. You catch one last sigh of him as he speeds off around a corner. It was then that you caved and let everything out. You fall to the ground again. Sam reaching down to catch you. You press your back up against one of the none shattered display cases. Hands rested on your knees as tears spill down your face. You sniffle as you lean your head back.

“He let me go Sam.” You rasp out. “Why would he do that?”

She sighs. “Cause he loves you…” She didn’t want to admit it but it was true. She offers a sad smile. “I could still see that in him. He cares about you.” She nods.

“Are you gonna turn him in?” 

“I’m still debating it…” She looks down then up at you. “He did spare my friend though, which is something I can thank him for-” She pauses. 

“But?”

“It’s gonna take me a long time to forget what he did to us, and I know how much he meant to you. But if you don’t want me to…I won’t say anything.” You gasp, rising to sit more upright. Maybe it was some form of relief or shock to hear her say that, but you felt a little grateful. “I’ll tell them he didn’t know anything.” 

“You’d do that…?” You take a deep breath, smiling through your tears.

“You took a bullet for me last year. I owe you my life.” She cups one side of your face. Pressing her head against yours as you cry. Even as the oldest out of all of you, you were grateful to have her in your life. To be there to offer you advice and watch over you all with care. She’d have your back anytime. 

“Is she dead?” You both whip your heads around. Tara comes into view as she points to Quinn’s dead body.

“Bullet right in the head,” Sam confirms with a solid nod.

“Oh thank god!” She holds her stomach. “Where’s Detective dipshit, and Ethan the virgin?”

“I stabbed Bailey over there…” Sam gestures towards the pull-down screen. 

“He’s not a virgin…” You say at the same time.

“What?” She raises a brow at you two.

“Ethan’s long gone by now…” Sam inquires.

“He got away?”

“Not exactly…” You grimace up at her.

“Come sissy, sit, there’s much we need to discuss.” Sam pats the spot next to you two. Tara holds her side, wincing as she lowers herself to the ground. “Where do I even start?”

“Ethan let me go.” You spit out.

“He let you go!?”

“He let me go.” You nod, eyes wide just like hers.

“He let her go?” She turns to Sam perplexed.

“I’m still trying to process that myself.” Sam emits a laugh.

“So what happened to him?”

“We let him go…” You wince at Tara, her jaw slacks in further shock.

“You let him go!?”

“We let him go!” You grimace, nodding furiously.

“You let him go?” She turns to Sam again, annoyed now though.

“Y/n let him go. I wanted to kill him, but then she told me he let her go. So I lowered my gun.”

“You did not! You wanted to shoot him.” You scoff.

“I did. I really did!” Sam admits solemnly. 

“So what now?” Tara leans back on her hands.

“We wait for the cops…” Sam shrugs.

You and Tara nod. Reveling in the silence. You got to sit back and think about the days you’ve all had. You were gonna have a whole load of new scars this time. The silence would have continued on, had it not been for the dragging sound of someone’s shoes. You three look up, mouths agape as you watch the person limp over, then slide down the display case next to you.

“Chad?!” You three exclaim. He nonchalantly throws up a deuce. His head thumps back against the case.

“How are you alive!?” Tara reaches forward, throwing herself over him.

“I don’t know...” He sighs, then shuts his eyes tiredly. You all sigh in relief just as the sound of sirens and commotion comes from the chained gate you couldn’t get through. The relief of knowing you were all gonna be fine again overwhelmed you. You hadn’t registered the pain shooting up your side until you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. You like to think it was the adrenaline that kept you awake. You barely heard the brief exclaims of Sam and Tara. 

“Y/n…hey no no no. Hey, you got to stay awake. Shit!” Sam curses as she lifts your shirt. A mean knife wound spilling out blood. “We need help!” She called out to the cops rushing in. “Hang in there-”

-

You hardly recall the wound you received. The aftermath was nothing but a blur now as you and the group slowly recovered. Though mentally you took the longest. Your teachers doing a shitting job to grant you exemptions but they let up, eventually. You were just grateful you didn’t have to repeat this semester. Though, school had been the least of your worries now. You often wondered where Ethan had disappeared to. Chad had mentioned in passing that he saw him on campus once. You assumed he still kept on with his studies, but after that one time, Chad said he didn’t see much of him. You, Sam, and Tara sat the group down to let them know about how he granted you your life, how you let him go, and also how you still had unresolved feelings for him. Chad tried convincing you that letting go was the best way to handle this, but you were reluctant, even now.

Nine months was all it took for the group to see where you were coming from. Another to see how much you were truly hurting, how you forgave him. Sam eventually let up too, you recalled her words about it taking her a long time to forget, she didn’t forget, but she eventually grew okay with the idea that if he ever came back into your life, she wouldn’t kill him. Mindy still hated him, though she decreased her dislike of him for your sake, though she still snuck in snarky comments. Tara didn’t want to at first for Chad’s sake. You didn’t blame any of them honestly, but she knew just how much he meant to you. She had caved for you, and only you. 

The cops did end up asking about Ethan from what the group told you. Sam had told them how he didn’t know of his father's or sister’s intentions on your behalf. They bought it of course, though Kirby knew better, yet after a brief chat with her, she ensured that she wouldn’t bring him in. For a debrief and interrogation, possibly, she held no promises though, but you trusted her enough to hold her by her word. You trusted your little family with everything you got. 

Just like you trust them now.

“Hey, hey. I’m back.” You announce your arrival. You walk into the apartment. Eyes wandering for your friends. 

“Hey!” A chorus of voices greeted you and you caught sight of the back of Tara’s head in the kitchen. With your old complex a bloodied crime scene, you felt that you all should get a bigger place. One where you would all stay close together. Mindy and Chad rented the apartment across from the one you shared with Tara and Sam. Though those two mostly just ventured into yours.

“How was your walk?” Chad's voice rings out. Smiles cast your way as your tired face blesses their eyes.

“Good, I got a pick me up. Though I was this close to throwing my drink at the lady behind me.”

“That bad huh?” Mindy grimaces. “I least you got a drink.” 

“Yeah at least…” You nod, sighing as you plop into one of the stools. Your head rested on your arms.

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna push yourself over the edge again!” Chad sighed. “Why would you even go on a walk this late?”

“I wanted a drink!” You pout.

“We could have got you one, or gone with you.” Chad shakes his head as he turns back to the pan he was flipping the chicken in.

“You could have taken one of us…” Tara winces but emits a laugh at your annoyed reaction. “Hey, I’m just saying!” She puts her hands up. 

“Thank you! See? It’s not just me that worries about you.” Chad gestures to Tara graciously. “I mean you’re still recovering. It hasn’t even been three weeks since the labor. Y/n I’m serious it’s not just yourself you need to think about anymore.” 

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Chad points out much to your annoyance.

“I’m fine. I just needed some time to myself, okay? I got my drink and then rushed right back home. You two are being ridiculous alright…” You let out a tired laugh. Chad can’t help the smile he tries to fight. “I’m gonna go now, 'cause these pants are killing me, and I want to change into pjs, and then I’m gonna cuddle with my baby 'cause I’ve missed her…Okay, great glad we’re on the same page!” You clasp your hands together and walk backwards out of the kitchen entryway. You hear their chuckles fade away in the background as you reach your bedroom, you push the door open slightly and walk in quietly. You catch sight of a body then relax when you see it’s only Sam. Sam turns around upon your entrance. A smile paints her lips as she turns around with your little bundle of joy in her arms. 

“Hey. You just got back?” She whispers quietly. 

“Yeah, walking didn’t really help much…but what else is new. Anyway…” You focus your attention back on her. “Has she eaten yet?” You look up at her.

“Yeah…I fed her her bottle around eight after you left. I had set her down, but she woke up again, she hasn’t been wanting to go back to sleep. No, no, you haven’t, have you?” Sam coos down at your daughter, rubbing her button nose gently. Your heart flutters at the sight, knowing that when you left this apartment she was always in good hands. 

“I think she just knows that mommy isn’t here. Is that it pretty girl, do you wait up on momma, huh…yeah, you wait up for me?” You coo, your smile turning into a faint laugh as she hears your voice. She starts to settle down in Sam’s arms.

“You wanna change first? Get settled before I hand her over. Though I think she likes Auntie Sam, no?” Sam offers her finger, her tiny hand curling around it. It was a sweet thing she would never get over.

“I just need like five minutes.” You run a tired hand down your face. You really just wanted to get all your makeup off and slide into some pjs. It was routine for you to take her back when you got home. “I’ll just get some pjs and you’re released from your duties.” You laugh, waving her off and hardly meeting her eyes, but she tilts her head, frowning slightly.

“You okay?” She looks at you feigning worry for you. 

“Dammit...” Sam lets her guard down, sitting at the edge of the bed. You take a seat next to her, your face falling into your hands. 

“Hey talk to me.” She adjusted her hold on your baby and rested her free hand on your shoulder. You take a deep breath and let out a raspberry. You shake your head cause it feels silly now that you think about it. Worrying over nothing, but that was the real reason you practically ran home. You were startled.

“I think I saw him…” You turn to face her, your narrowed brows and frown letting her know that you were unsettled. She turns her body towards you more.

“Who? Ethan…?” She questioned.

Water brims your waterline. You inhale a shaky breath and nod. “Y-Yeah. I think I did.” You shrug. “I was leaving the cafe and I could have sworn I saw him standing across the street, but a car passed and he was gone…But Sam, I just know that it was him, but I was a little worried about confronting him so I came back home as soon as possible. I didn’t want to tell the others just yet until I talked with you first.”

“You really think it was him?” 

“I-I know it was. I think it was, I swear.” She trusts your certainty. Most days she had a hard time believing you but after you had your baby she instilled her intuition to know that you weren’t the lying type. You were telling the truth.

“Okay.” She nods. “I trust you. If you say you saw him, then you saw him.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, but you should definitely let the others know that-” Your heads both whipped up to the door, hearing the faint ding of the apartment's doorbell. You exchange a look and Sam goes to hand over your little girl and walks over to the door and opens it up. She peeks out the doorway and looks back at you. 

“Sam?”

“Stay here okay? I’m sure it's just nobody.” She reassures but you stand up with the baby in your hands hearing Chad yell.

“No. Get the fuck out okay. She doesn’t want to see you and neither do we!”

“Please I just need to talk to her!”

Sam and you exchange another look at each other. She’s torn between making you stay in your room, and wanting you both to go out to see who it is. Though you didn’t have to guess very hard. His voice was recognizable even from a distance. To you at least.

“Stay here.” Sam walks out of your room, and you instantly follow her out. She looks back and scoffs. “Why do I even try…” She lets her arms flop down to her sides and continued walking to the living room. You both round the corner as a thud sounds off. “Chad what’s going o-” You both stop, seeing Chad pin down a very disheveled Ethan to the ground. His arms were pinned behind his back. 

Chad freezes seeing you appear with your daughter, though he’s not the only one to take notice. Ethan gives up his fight, his shoulders relaxing on the ground as his eyes lock with the bundle of joy in her pink and orange baby blanket. He breathes out in defeat, accepting his fate on the ground. He looks up and sees how conflicted you are. Chad looks over to Ethan and pulls his arms harder, catching him looking at you. Ethan groans out in pain. “What the fuck you looking at her for huh? You don’t get to look at her after what you did to us!” Chad pushes his face against the ground.

“Chad!” Sam steps in but he stops her with a pointed look. 

“I told you I wouldn’t hold back if he ever showed his face here.” He exclaims angrily. 

“Chad!” You exclaim, you were scared and overwhelmed by seeing his face again, but you also didn’t see the point in him getting aggravated by Chad. 

“He doesn’t deserve to come back into our lives, not yours.” Chad clenches his jaw and then looks down at Ethan's squished face. His lips jutted out from Chad’s hands pressing against his ear and cheek. “You hear that Landry, or whatever the fuck your last name is now. You can’t just come back here and expect everything to be fine again. How the fuck you even know where we lived? We moved!”

“I-I followed Y/n here.” He breathes out, wincing as an ache started in his wrist behind his back. “I wasn’t trying to hurt her or any of you. I swear. I just want to talk- argh!” He cries out.

“Chad!”

“Stay the fuck out of this Mindy!” Chad points at her.

“Alright that’s enough tough guy, get off him.” Sam pushes against his shoulder. Chad only pushes her away and keeps his hold on him. “Chad for the love of god stop this-” Sam raises her voice and at this, the baby cries out. Your shaky breath relaxes as you coo at her. 

“It’s okay…You’re okay.” You mutter softly. Everyone stops and looks up at you. Guilt eats away at Chad as his head falls. Once she settles in your arms again, you look up at Chad. Your saddened eyes meet his guilty ones.

“Your call momma bear…” He sighs giving you the final say. Your eyes fleet down to Ethan swallowing nervously. His eyes met yours for a second then he looks down to the ground. 

“Let him up.” You give a firm nod. Chad scoffs but lets up on his grip. Manhandling him onto his feet. Ethan stands up, hands held up in surrender as Chad fixes his jacket. You watch him smirk and twist his shirt in his fist. It makes you roll your eyes. “I hear her scream, you’re dead. Got it!”

“I got it…” Ethan swallows nervously. 

Ethan looks back at the two of you, his eyes growing sad as he meets yours. Sam quirks a brow, head tilting as she observes his lack of reaction. 

“You don’t look so surprised.” All eyes turn to Sam. Your eyes glance back to him. He looks down and you didn’t know whether to be angry or betrayed. 

“You knew…” You frown. “Didn’t you? That I was pregnant?” 

Ethan finally looks at you and the tilt of his head and his eyes closing has your heart breaking in two. 

“You knew!” You exclaim, looking at your little girl, shattered.

“I wasn’t sure. I just assumed. That day of the Halloween party. I walked you to your dorm remember?” He begins to explain. “You threw up saying you didn’t feel well. Then I saw your calendar above your desk. You hadn’t the marked day yet…” He pauses, hoping you’d catch on to his implication. You did.

“I-I was supposed to get my period that day…” You look down at your daughter again. Yet your face scrunches with anger. “And yet… you knew, and still, you let me get hurt.” 

Hurt paints his face.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracks breaking your heart even more. “If I could take it all back I would! I would…” His face scrunches in pain. He looks back to your daughter. “I’d take it all back…”

“But you can’t!” Chad chimes in.

“Chad!” Tara scolds him.

“What it’s true!” He defends himself. You close your eyes, annoyed by Chad’s antics.

“Get out!”

“What?” Ethan's heart sinks for a second. 

“Not you!” You roll your eyes. “You leave. Scatter elsewhere!” You point to the other party members. Chad looks incredulous at you, scoffing at your requests.

“Oh, hell no!” He shakes his head. Mindy rolls her eyes and starts dragging her twin away. Tara and Sam help push him away. 

“Oh, hell yea. Get out, I can’t think with you around.” You usher him away.

“I’m not okay with this. I don’t agree with this at all. You guys are just okay leaving her alone with him 'cause I’m not!” Chad rants as he’s being pushed away. He keeps trying to look over his shoulder, but he was no match for three strong women. “Has she forgotten who stood by her bedside during 10 hours of labor? You and me, Sam. That’s who! I held your hand Y/n-” You sigh in relief hearing his voice fade away. Ethan stands in place not knowing what do to or how to act. You look back over to him and gestured to the sofa.

“Wanna sit?” You don’t wait for his answer as you walk over to take a seat with your daughter sound asleep in your arms. Ethan stands still for a second until you meet his eyes, questioning him. He snaps out of it and sits at the far end. You watch as he fiddles with his hands. You only breathe out a laugh and shake your head. “I’m not gonna bite you.”

“I-I know I just didn’t know what your boundaries were. So I thought it’d be better for me to sit here-”

“Ethan.”

“Yeah?” He stops rambling and swallows nervously.

“Shut the fuck up and sit in the middle.” You let out tiredly. You were too exhausted to deal with his ridiculous thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah. I can do that.” He slowly scoots over, a few inches still between you two, but at least you didn’t have to raise your voice for him to hear you now. You rock her gently seeing her squirm slightly. Ethan only smiles faintly seeing you and her together. His smile grows seeing you caress her cheek with your finger. It suited you, surprisingly. It was a beautiful sight he wanted to have the chance to see more of. He continues to watch you two until you turn back and look at him with a serious expression.

“You wanna hold her?”

“W-What?” He stutters.

“You wanna hold your daughter?” You raise a brow at him, then roll your eyes again. 

“Oh I don’t know- You sure you want me to- I don’t even know how hold a- Okay!” He accepts his fate as you stand up in front of him, and slowly put her in his arms. He holds his breath as you adjust his hand and arm position. 

“Keep your hand here. Her head needs to be supported okay.” You inform him and sit back on the coffee table. Smiling as he seems frozen in place. You let out a laugh. “You can breathe you know?” You laugh, watching him exhale. “Don’t worry I was like that too for the first couple of days.”

“She’s so little…” He breathes out with a smile. 

“Yeah, she is…” You tilt your head to see her better. 

“How’d you know? That I wanted to…” He gestures to holding her with his chin.

“You haven’t taken your eyes off her since you saw her. Call it a feeling.” You shrug. You reached forward and move her blanket down away from her face. 

“Thank you.” He looks up at you with guilt. Uncertainty ridden behind his eyes.

“It was you, that I saw early wasn’t it?”

Ethan looks down at your daughter. “I didn’t want to scare you off by approaching you in public.”

“But you thought following me home was better?” You smirk.

He looks away with a roll of his eyes. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Which you have yet to do…” You point out.

“I’m trying! You put a baby in my arms. My brain is not functioning right now, okay.” He exclaims quietly. 

“I had to. That way I’d know if you weren’t really just here to talk. You wouldn’t hurt a baby.” You look down at her, pouting as she wiggles, stretching out her arms and letting them fall back down on her blankie. 

“So this is a tactic move now?” He quirks a brow, a teasing smirk on his lips.

“Yeah and you’re being interrogated by a tired momma bear, so start talking...” You break out of character at the end with a laugh. Ethan laughs along with you too. You both look at his arms, then you look up at him who can’t take his eyes off her. You can’t help the lingering question you’ve been wanting to have answered for the past ten months since he let you go. “Did you really love me…?” He whips his head up, caught off guard by your question. “When we were together?” He opens his mouth hesitantly, but then he locks his eyes with yours looking serious.

“I never stopped.” You breathe out shakingly, nodding as you turn away. Tears brimming your waterline. “Okay…Next question? Did you know where I was this whole time?” You utter softly. 

“Yes.” Ethan sighs, feeling guilty.

“And you didn’t think to ever come by?” A tear falls down.

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me. I thought you’d have moved on, but when you saw me tonight. You almost crossed the street. I realized then and there that I couldn’t let us end where we did ten months ago. Okay? I missed you…I missed us.” He breathes out. A tear begins to form on his water line. “I don’t blame you if you never want to forgive me, but I just wanted to let you know, that the way I feel about you...When I told you I loved you that night. I meant it…and I still mean it now-” He gets cut off as you lean forward to press your lips onto his. He inhales deeply through his nose as your lips mold and move against one another. Then he exhales heavily as you pull away slightly. Your heads pressed together. The two of you were oblivious to the four faces peeking their heads out watching the whole ordeal unfold. Chad was annoyed that this probably meant he’d be seeing Ethan around more often now. 

-

“Will you stop pouting?” Tara hits his shoulder.

“Did we all just magically forget that he tried to kill us?!” Chad looked at them with an incredulous astonished look. “I can’t be the only one not okay with this?”

“I’m not…but it’s not our place. It’s Y/n’s okay, and we promised her we’d be on her side no matter what she decided to do with Ethan…” Mindy gestures out the kitchen entryway. “That shared kiss signifies her mind has been made up, okay people!” Mindy exclaims, making her point. “She clearly wants him to be in her life again, I’m pretty sure for the sake of the baby too. Okay? She wants her little girl to have a father.”

The other three’s shoulders slump and sigh. Chad looks away not wanting to meet his twin's eyes, knowing she was right in every shape and form. 

“He’s gonna stick around whether some of us like it or not…” Mindy sighs too, knowing that she still had certain feelings for the curly-haired boy. “But Y/n’s our family. If she wants this…then so be it.” She lets her arms fall. Her charade of being the voice of reason finished. 

-

Ethan calms down his heavy breathing. The break of his voice causes you to look up at him. “I-I’m sorry…For letting you get hurt, for not telling you about knowing that you were pregnant, for not being there for the birth. For everything. I don’t deserve a second chance. But I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to you I promise…if you’ll let me.” Tears fall down your and his faces. You sniffled nodding, wiping away yours and then his tears away. You lean in and press a sweet kiss on his cheek. You cup his face and press a chaste sweet kiss to his lips. Your head leaning against one another. Though the moment breaks hearing the soft cry of your baby. 

“Oh no. Shh shh shh. It’s okay Samara. It’s okay…” You offer your finger for her to hold, and once her hand curls around your finger, she settles again in the unfamiliar arms that held her. Ethan whips his head up at you in shock and feels his heart skip, hearing you speak her name.

“S-Samara…?” He breathes out a faint laugh.

You look up at him and smile. You remember that you forgot you didn’t tell him her name. “Oh yeah…” You laugh out your nerves. “We were trying to come up with a name for her after she was born. Chad had a few nice ideas but none seemed to fit. Tara and Mindy opted for something unique and in my tired disheveled state, I had a terrible Twilight moment and kind of just thought of Samara. It seemed fitting especially since her aunties are total badasses.” You caress her cheek with your finger.

“Wait, Samara…That’s Sam’s and T-” Ethan begins and you finish.

“Tara’s name combined. Yeah, I know, and everyone was game for it!” You chuckled then lean down to look at her again. He looks at you with love-struck eyes, then down to his daughter. 

“It’s beautiful.” He admits softly. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” He nods. He leans in again and kisses you. You pull back, feeling breathless.

“You wanna stay for dinner?” You ask him spontaneously.

“If you want me t-”

“Hell to the no, he’s not!” Your jaw slacks in disbelief as Chad’s voice rang out. You scoff out a laugh turning to Ethan who winces. 

“Maybe not tonight then…” He laughs.

“You’re being ridiculous. Ethan you can stay-” Sam’s voice calls out. “No, you need to shut the fuck already. Like, stop talking. See this, this is what your mouth should be doing instead!” You hear from the kitchen.

“He’s not fucking staying…Are you serious, you guys are okay with- Fine, fine, lets just all vote against Chad. Chad needs to shut the fuck up already, Chad needs to stop talking. If he’s staying he’s eating in the living room!” Chad's voice rings out furiously and sarcastically. 

“Living rooms fine…” Ethan says having no problem with it. 

“He’s being an idiot!” You shake your head at Ethan

You watch as Chad comes out of the kitchen and walks over to you guys. “You done…?” You scoff up at his frame.

“For now…give me my baby!” He takes your daughter out of his arms and cradles her close to his chest. Your eyes narrow at his antics. 

“Did he just-” Ethan looks confused by the whole ordeal.

“Yeah he did…and I’m gonna go smack him for it.” You stand up and march after him for stealing your daughter. “Chad!”

[luxaryllis]

hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

[livesworthlivingau]

Behind the Vale Chapter 19

ISAT, Two Hats, AND SASASAP spoilers this time! oh my! CW: Mental Spirals, very negative self talk.

New fit for Vale! Art by the always incredible @kuro-is-doodlin

[Nille gives an impressed whistle as you do a light flourish, showing off your new outfit once you arrive back at the inn you were staying at. The lightless coat and pants with darkless buttons, wrist cuffs, waist band, and tailoring around right chest section were incredibly elegant, striking in it's simplicity. Your usual gloves and boots complimenting it all perfectly.]

"Fancy, please tell me you didn't blow all our coin on an outfit again though."

"Of course not, Nilly~! That would be preposterous... It was two outfits~." [She simply responds with smacking her palm against her face, grumbling to herself.]

"Alright... looks like we're gonna need to stay here another day to earn some more..."

"Sorryyyy~." [You can't help but tease some, but she knows you'll do your best to earn it back. Her expression doesn't lift though, as if stuck on a thought.]

"Nille?... I-I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I can take care of it tomorrow if you want to rela-"

"Are you still avoiding them, Vale?... Are you prolonging this all on purpose?" [She cuts you off, causing you to freeze, your heart leaping into your throat. You hesitate, bringing your hands up to grip your arms in a bit of a close hug with yourself.]

"... I... I'm sorry Nille, I guess... I just wanted to enjoy this, as long as I could..." [Your words almost surprise yourself. You did your best to not think about the impending meeting, but it seems that subconscious part of you was forcing itself upon your actions. You look to Nille nervously, expecting the worst. Her expression is gentle, worried for you as opposed to angry.]

"Vale, this doesn't have to end. You don't have to leave when we find them... I want you to stick around." [She trying to take your hands in her, but you pull away.]

"I-I... I don't know if I can..." [You choke out, placing a hand over your mouth and trying to stop the tears from falling.]

"Why not Vale? Please, I just want to understa-"

"BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT MINE ANYMORE, OKAY?! THEY'RE HIS! THEY WON'T BE MY FAMILY EVER AGAIN!!" [You scream, quickly covering your mouth again. No no no no no, why did we say that?! What do we do?! She's staring at us, confused, how do we explain that, what can we-.]

"Vale... Just tell me what happened, please? I promise I won't tell anyone, and I promise it won't change what I think of you."

"... I've had both of those promises broken before." [You mumble out, sitting down on you bed and wiping the welling tears from your eyes. You take a deep yet shaky breath, slowly letting it back out.]

"I don't want to lose you Nille..."

"I don't wanna lose you either, Vale." [She responds quickly, coming over to sit beside you, placing a hand on top of one of yours comfortingly. She slowly brings a hand up to your face, the rough, calloused texture gently placed on your cheek, helping wipe some tears away. You suddenly pull away with a gasp, pushing her hand away as memories suddenly flash in your mind.]

[You're brought back to so long ago... the loop you finally managed to defeat the king. The loop just before you finally gave up, when everyone noticed you were acting funny. When everyone comforted you... When Mirabelle touched your face, and realized how much you cared about them... Tears begin to pour from from your eyes.]

"V-Vale?! I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to-" [You fall to your knees, cupping your face and sobbing. We could have kept going! We made progress!! Why did we finally chose to give up when things changed for once?!!? Wh-Why-...]

"Why wasn't I strong enough?..." [Is all you can manage to whimper out through your crying.]

"... Please Vay, I can't help if you don't talk to me..."

"Why do you think you can help me?! Why are you so BLINDING insistent?! Wh-Why-?!.... Why... Why do you think I deserve your kindness? J-Just leave already and join up with your family... leave me behind like I deserve..."

"Alright, fine." [You look up at Nille in shock, she sits there with her arms crossed, a serious look on her face.]

"If you want me gone so bad, and you think I'll leave if I know what happened. Then tell me. Make me leave. Prove to me you don't deserve having me around." [You pause, a flurry of emotions running through you. We can't tell her, we can't let her leave!... but we can't keep lying to her! She doesn't deserve this, and we don't deserve her... We'll never be happy, it won't happen, so why keep trying to fool ourself?... Let's just get this all over with.]

"... Fine... It's not fair I've been parading around like I'm worth anything anyways... You don't deserve to be lied to anymore." [Your face hardens, trying to hold back every emotion you can. You wipe the remnants of your tears once again, getting up to take a seat on the opposite bed from them.]

"I'm not... I wasn't some extra party member journeying with them... I was the Traveler. Siffrin..."

[thefairylights]

massive spoilers for iwtv season 2 finale

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spoilers

spoilers

I have been sobbing so hard

spoilers

spoilers

SPOILERS!!!!!!

I am a wreck I am emotional I have been literally crying I can’t handle this. I didn’t know it was a gift. What you gave me and what I denied. I was miserable and made the nights miserable. Are we going to list all the awful things we did? This isn’t verbatim this is just me trying. Thank you. He said thank you. Lestat starting the date Louis hurt himself. Asking Louis if he hurt himself. Louis sobbing. Both of them unable to forget Claudia and get her out of their minds. She will never go. She was their daughter. Lestat saying he was never her father yet she looked to him in her final moments as if she was asking her father to help her. Louis saying it wasn’t his fault.

their embrace. The power of it. The way they clutched one another. The way they cried together. The way they sobbed. The way they breathed together. The secret words they spoke together before the roof likely came crashing down.

they began like a storm, and they have not ended, but it makes sense for them to reunite in a hurricane, as they’ve always been such.

[thebottomfromhell]

Can I request the upper moon (+ enmu and Muzan if it's not too much trouble) yandere, with a female reader who can travel between universes, so it's sooo easy for her to escape and not come back?. I love your writing, you are in my top 3 of my fav writers 🤍

Thank you for the compliment.

I didn't know what kind of "travel between universes" you meant. Like... multiverse, different fandom worlds, isekai type. Also traveling like a magical girl? Science-fic tech? I decided to focus more in the yandere-ish characters post-Carmen (my reference to the Opera), I was listening Habanera Carmen while writting.

Female Interdimensional traveler reader scaping Yandere! Uppermoon (+ Enmu and Muzan)

Warnings: Mamga spoilers, Yandere character, Excesive use of violence, Threats to reader, Mentioned non-character demon death, One-sided feelings (not from reader), No happy ending for demons, Reader is moraly ambiguous.

Enmu:

Sleep. You should sleep, dream by his side so he can build a paradaise all for you. He can't understand why you fight him, but Enmu is willing to try as long as you give yourself to him. "I promise to be nice, you will have everything you could want and I will have your body well taken care of. Why would you deny us both such a wonderful future? Can't you see everything about me aches for you?" He doesn't shut up, sometimes you wonder if he just loves the sound of his own voice. Anyway, you were planning to leave already, so you reach out to open a portal to- "Sleep."

You manage to open the portal before the sound finishes to reach your ears, making you fall through the interdimentional leak as you close your eyes. Emnu can only look at the scene, not fully understanding what is hoing on as your body fades into... something, and that something dissapears the second you crossed it. Taking you. "Hey... Y/N.... my lovely girl this is not funny." He tries to reach you nerviously.... you are asleep, he himself made you sleep, yet he can't feel you. Wherever you are, he can't get you.

"You have to be kidding me. What is this? Some kind of nightmare?" He has a nervious smile that becomes everytime more forced, wrenched, to every second it passes and he can't even feel you. Are you awake? Are you dead? Where? If anything had to happen to you he wanted to be there! Now you are gone! "Y/N.... Y/N, darling? C'mon, don't do this to me. I love you...." but you are gone.... are you planning to come back for him?

Gyutaro (ft. Daki):

You left.... you fucking left... you fu- "Onii-chan?" Fuckfuckfu- he can't. He has to control himself, he can't show Daki how bad he is feeling, how desesperate. But you were just there, he was watching you and now you are gone. Were you burned? Why would you be burned? Why is that the first thing he- "Onii-chan!" He hugs his sister, burrying his face in her shoulder. He is not crying, no tears shed from his eyes, but he is sobbing hard. You are gone, you are gone!

Of course you are gone, anywhere else better than with a freak with him, right? You never wanted him! You nev- "Gyutaro?" Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP- "GET LOST YOU STUPID WHORE! GET AWAY FROM MY ONII-CHAN! HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!" But you know that is a lie, Gyutaro does want you, right now he is breaking up, shattering down, just for you. "Gyutaro?" You repeat softer, getting closer to the demon almost squirming into his sister's, his everything, the girl who sees him almost as a father, embrace. Obi sashes come out her back, moving threateningly, as she hugs her brother protectively, hatred in her eyes as she looks for you.

In the end, he speaks before you or Daki can. "GO AWAY! FUCKING GO AWAY! YOU WILL LEAVE ANYWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T- DON'T FUCKING COME TO ME ONLY TO ABANDON ME LATER!" You are too much, you have already taken his heart and head. What else could you possible want? He can't stop thinking about you, wanting you close, obssesed with the idea to be yours when you will only leave. He sobs harder as you step closer, get out of him! GET OUT! GETOUTGETOUTGET- "DON'T YOU DARE!" You fade into a portal, the same which you always use, before Daki can hurt you, leaving her to patch together her brother, again, only to ruin him when you come back, AGAIN. "Onii-chan...."

Gyokko:

You absolutely have no taste, you would stay if you did. Who gave you permission to leave?! You should adore having Gyokko's attention, for hin to share his art with you... and yet you don't appreciate him. Not enough, you should love him more. Wouldn't that be more fair? He loves you too much for you to not love him back, don't be so selfish- "Would you stop that! You are getting on my nerves!" You have been trying to enjoy this universe, but Gyokko has been harrasing you non-stop.

Showing you desfigurated human bodies, telling you what you should and shouldn't want, getting angry on the slightlest of things. Really, why have you not left yet? "I'M getting on your nerves? You have no idea with how patient I have been with you. You should be thanking me for taking my precious time on you, only for you to be such an ungrateful brat?" Really, what is wrong with him. "You know what, I'm leaving. I'm done." You reach out to open the portal and just stop having to tolerate Gyokko. He tries to stop you, tries to hurt you, but summoned too late the pot. Much less the attack.

The face twists in rage due the humiliation, HOW DARE YOU?! YOU WRENCHED WOMAN! The next time he'll see you he will kill you, you won't even have the pleasure of being a work of art! He will just rip your eyes and tongue off to burry them into the mud! He will stab and poke you again and again and again, letting you starve until you kill yourself of the pain! A death with no beauty or dignity! The death of a witch! ..... that if you ever come back, because right now, you are just enjoying the jump in between universes.

Hantengu Clones:

"SHE IS MINE, YOU PIECES OF SHIT! BACK OFF!" "NO FAIR! I SAW HER FIRST! SHE IS MINE!" Sekido and Urogi are fighting each other, citting and stabbing limbs, using their powers on each other, Karaku being the only one sane for once in his life, trying to stop them. He is the least jealous of the clones, probably the only one who doesn't mind sharing. "GUYS! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT SCARING HER OFF! Y/N IS GOING TO GET AWAY IF YOU KEEP LIKE THIS! That or Aizetsu is going to get her first..." Yes, Aizetsu is alredy into it, using his body to block your path away.

"Y/N, please. Don't leave. That will make Sekido mad and Urogi feral, they will take it out on me. Please don't that to me, you're making me sad." He looks scared, miserable, he doesn't want you to leave. But he is also using that to try and manipulate you, he is doing it on purpose. You know it and honestly, you are getting tired of their little scenes, their jealousy, their violence, their delusions, their tricks... You. Are. Done. You were about to open the portal when you feel two hands, one on each wrist, from behind with a breath on your neck. "C'mon, pretty thing~. Don't be like that, I know some of us can be scary, but we can all make you feel good, even if the others don't look like it."

The breathing stops when Sekido staff stabs him through the skull, forcing him on the ground. You were startled by the splash of blood over you, but you take the chace to run as you open the portal. "AIZETSU! DON'T LET HER SCAPE!" The sad clone does try to stop you, but it's too late, you are already gone. ". . . ." "AIZETSU, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT! WHY DID YOU LET HER GET AWAY?!" "Y/N! Y/N! WHERE IS SHE?! WHY DID SHE LEAVE?! I MISS HER SO MUCH ALREADY!" "PLEASE STOP SCREAMING AT ME! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SAD?!" "..... I hate being the sane one...."

Nakime:

How? Just how? Nakime has been looking for you, but you are nowhere in the Infinity Castle. You are not in any room, in any corridor, any fall.... it's impossible for anyone got get out without her noticing, then why are you not here? She even looked outside her fortress, nothing, "Nakime-chan!" Nothing until you decide there is something interesting around.

Nakime just looks at you, not knowing well how to start, she spends a time like this, and you have no idea if it's more creepy like this or it would would be worst if her hair wasn't covering her face, you can feel her stare on you neither way. "How did you do that?" Is the first thing she says, going to the point, not caring for formalities. "Do what?" You tease, you know well what she is asking, she can tail, so she doesn't insist, doesn't give you what you want, making you pout a bit. "You are a grown woman that managed to scape my Demon Blood Art, and yet you pout in front of me." She is angry. What are you doing? How are you doing it? Why does she lose control when it comes about you? Her interdimentional realm.... is it even anything for you?

But she must have you, she must. Her whole body aches for you, or is it just because of what you can do? She can't stop thinking about it, wanting you caged in her corridors and rooms, not letting go, so you are hers and hers alone. She.... likes you, a lot more than she ever liked any man. "Nakime-chan, I will leave if I get too bored." She plays her Biwa, knowing it's useless to use her powers on you, she just plays to entertain you until she figures something out, if there is anything to figure out.

Akaza:

Please don't leave. Please, don't leave him, he can't- if you leave- you have to stay. Stay, please. "Please, I'm begging you. Stay. I.... I will protect you, I will take care od you, promise. I pro- please, please, don't do this to me." Akaza begs, grabbing you by the waist, holding you tight, digging fingers into your clothes. It's taking a lot of him to not cry. Why do you want to leave? Did he do something wrong? Is he not strong enough? "I promise to get stronger! To be there! To protect... I want to protect you, please..."

If he is not there what will happen to you? Hung by the neck. Poison in the well. Death death DEATH. What will happen to him? There is nothing left he doesn't care, just needs to get stronger because if he was strong enough to begin with it wouldn't have happened. Why are you always trying to leave? He sobs as you pull alway but lets you move him at will. He wants you to be safe, to be happy, to be healthy. He wants a life with his wife, the life he was promised! Where is that girl he loves with his whole heart?! A part of you can feel Akaza, while obessed with you, with the idea to protect you and take care of you, has already given his heart to someone else, a woman that it's not you.

You are nobody's second choise or consolation prize, you can't take him and don't want to. "I'm sorry." It's the only thing you say, feeling nothing but pity for him, as you open the portal and leave. He just lost another woman in his life a woman he didn't get to have as his wife. What is it left, why nobody he cares about ever stays for him? Everyone always leaves! "... Hah-...." Can you hear it? He is screaming at the top of his lungs, voice cracking and breaking as the sound of the pain of a 18 year old man who lost everything but his fists twice explodes into self-loathing and anger for the world, just wanting to be found again.... can you hear it?

Douma:

It's odd, very odd, how you can just dissapear the way you do. What is more odd is that Douma usually likes odd things, viewing them as entretaintment, but now... he doesn't like it. He can tell that much. It's very weird how his stomach twists, his chest compress in itself, his throat tights up and his head hurts everytime he thinks on the fact that you left somewhere he can't find you, and he can't do anything about it. Why? He really can't understand it, but he is not enjoying it, you should stay besides him forever, so his body can behave the same as always.

"Y/N! I see you are back! How have you been? Come here, tell me everything. I am a good listener, I'm sure you will feel comfortable." He is not hiding it, what is there to hide? He justs knows he wants you, the rest is... unkown, and it doesn't really matter, it never did. He can't feel anything, but right know he knows he needs you with him. Maybe he should eat you? You are quite a beautiful lady, he bets your flesh would be tender and tasty against his mouth, and in your stomach you would be always with him. But he would miss a lot if he did it now, seeing your faces, hearing your voice, touching your skin or clothes, smelling your scent. It would be a waste but didn't he think that same with her?

He will find a way, eventually, to keep you around. Now he can only show appreciation for the fact that you came to visit. The fact that you are still coming back to him. He will give you all of his attention, find your weakness and get what he wants. He may not look like it, but he can be patient when it matters. It just has never mattered before, maybe it doesn't even matter now. "It was fun to see you again. Bye, Douma!" You fade away and he can only stare.... that portal should have been his stomach.

Kokushibou:

You are finally out of his life, THE WHY ARE YOU STILL IN HIS HEAD?! WHY? It's been a while since you just... evaporized of this world, he knows.Kokushibou has been looking for you, actually looking for you, not the "I'm searching" he always gives Muzan off, but actually tried to follow you like he tried to follow his brother, no wonder he also failed this time. GET OUT OF HIS HEAD! HE DOESN'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU! HE WANTS TO FORGET YOU! You are gone and that is good, out of his life, out of his system, out of his internal demons, out of his- "Koku, is that you?" ...... he turns around slowly to find you standing there....

No.... no, why are you here? This... is this some illusion? A dream? A nightmare? Why are you getting closer to him? Why are you trying to talk to him? Can't you see he doesn't want anything to do with you? "Why, as talktative as always!" You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be talking over him, as if you were another man instead of a woman. His wife never did such a thing, she was quiet, elegant, filial and dutiful and yet he left her like you will leave him. Is this his karma, then?

He can't react, in any way possible. His breathing stops, his heart races, his head and chest hurts because of you. He wants to walk away, to be the one to leave you and reject you instead of the other way around. To save pride? His mind? Why were you even born?! He hates you! Hates you so much! "So, how have you been?" But he can't bring himself to walk away until you fade again.... he hates you so much, you have become everything to him. Like Yoriichi.

Muzan:

Another demon just died, their own body attacking them. It's not weird, Muzan doesn't even like most of his demons anyways, so more often than not he kills some of the lowlives around when he is having a tantrum sensitive moment. "Why haven't you found her already?!" He asks Nakime, who only sighs before getting the Uppermoons inside the castle, not yet here, and shrugs a little. She doesn't understand it neither, he send his most powerful demon, including her, to look for some human. A woman with scent, identity, living in his memories, unlike the flower.... why has nobody found you already?

"Hey, Muzan!" You appear out of nowhere, making both Nakime and Muzan turn around, shocked. This is Nakime's special dimention, how are you here? Why are you here? Can't you see what you are doing to the Demon King? Can't you see how your actions affect the people around him? Do you even care? It's just one small world between the amount of universes you have traveled through. "Y/N. Where were you?" His voice sounds kind, if not slightly irritated, he hates not being in control, loathes it. And he can't control you, yet, he tells himself. But he will.

Maybe that is why you came, to tease him, because it's fun, because you think he deserves it. "You know. Over here, over there, a lot of places. I just came by to say "hi"." Nakime looks nervious, looking at her master, wondering if she will be instructed to cage you. "Well, that doesn't matter. You are here now. Why don't you stay-" You don't. You leave as he speaks, dissapearing in front of his eyes. You can see his false calmness twist into rage, frustration, desesperation as you go away. Isn't it fun to make interdimentional trips with between yandere?

[shogunish]

𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿.

pairing. gojo satoru x f! reader

genre. heavy angst, heartbreak

summary. satoru realized something. he wasn't only losing his life. he was losing you, too.

warnings. chapter 236 spoilers, major character death, blood/violence, denial, no comfort

words. 1.3k

note. i can't see anything through my tears

Pristine snowflakes gently fell from the night sky, embracing what was once Shinjuku with a smooth blanket of innocent, pure white. Little puddles, thin branches were all frozen solid while a peaceful silence seemed to linger in the air. It was cut by soft sobs and begs, hot tears and crimson blood staining the pure blanket of snow,

Your knees were buried in the snow, Satoru's head rested on your thighs. Blood spilled from his mouth like water from an overflowing sink, but he still had the energy to smile. Hot tears dripped onto his cooling skin. "Don't cry. You're So much prettier when you smile."

"Don't talk like you're dying! You're gonna make it, you hear?!" You yelled out loud. Fat tears streamed down your cheeks while you were cradling Satoru's face with trembling fingers. Defeated – that was what you were. "You promised..you promised to marry me once this was all over..you can't go.."

With the way you were denying Satoru's looming death, you would end up cursing him and that was something you would never do to the man you loved so much and yet..and yet..

"There's gotta be something..anything at all.." Your voice was nothing but a strained whisper.

That promise was all Satoru could think about. That warm ring on your finger which warmed his gradually cooling skin, the silver that glimmered even underneath the darkest night sky that even the moonlight couldn't penetrate. It was proof of his devotion to you.

Satoru realized something. He wasn't only losing his life. He was losing you, too. He coughed, his voice unusually quiet and vulnerable. "I wish I could live out that promise, tell you how much you mean to me and make lots of babies, too.."

Satoru nuzzled into your trembling hands. His vision was slowly but surely darkening, but he was happy. He could still feel and hear you clear as day. "But you won't ever be alone. I'll be with you..every step of the way, my love."

Satoru's words tore a hole right through your heart that nothing could ever fill. Both of you had already made plans to settle down, build a cozy home and fill it with the family you always wanted without the expectations of Jujutsu Society on his shoulders. A place where no one expected Satoru to be The Strongest. A place where he could be Gojo Satoru.

Gripping Satoru's shirt with your fists, your knuckles turned white. You knew you had to pull yourself together for the last moments you could spend with the man who always stole the blanket in the middle of the night, never failing to kiss you good morning and good night. The man who always brought home some kikufuku for you. The man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

"If we're ever reborn as human beings..In a world without curses.." You spoke in hushed tones as you lowered your forehead on Satoru's. "..will you make me your bride again..?"

Usually, Satoru would chuckle at you and call you cheesy for saying such sappy words, but not this time. Not when he was bleeding out in your loving embrace, feeling so, so safe and so protected. Those words..they comforted him, too. "I'd do it in another lifetime, in every life. You're the one I want to grow old with..be happy with.."

A single snowflake got caught in your hair and oh, how badly Satoru wanted to brush it away. He tried. Lord knows he tried, but he couldn't even lift his arm anymore. How he yearned to run his fingers through your hair and feel your soft lips on his one last time..

"You're the love of my life. It's always gonna be you." He felt at peace with you. The most content he'd felt in a very long time. Even though he was more dead than alive, Satoru looked so..peaceful.

You were gentle when you pushed Satoru's messy bangs away from his face – you weren't even sure if he could still feel your touch with the way the light in those sky-colored irises was fading.

"Then this shall be our Binding Vow. I, too, will meet you in every and any lifetime. We'll grow old together, make a family and be happy together."

Silent tears still ran down your cheeks as you pressed your lips to Satoru's bloodied, cold ones as if to seal the Binding Vow you had just made.

"Close your eyes, Toru. It's..it's okay to rest now." You whispered, knowing how hard it had to be for him to keep his eyes open and so, you gently slid his eyelids shut with the delicate tips of your fingers. "I'm right here.."

Satoru couldn't be happier. He got to kiss you, he was surrounded by the woman he loved in his final moments and he got to hear you call him "Toru" one last time.

Taking a slow steady breath, Satoru focused all of his attention on you. Your voice, your touch and your breathing. He'd miss the way your hair was in his face when he spooned you from behind. He'd miss the way you'd comb your fingers through his hair as he fell asleep on your chest and he'd miss that beautifully radiant smile of yours that you only ever showed him.

You heard a whisper, one that was meant for you only. "I'll miss you, my love."

Silence filled the space around you. Satoru had taken his last breath and his heart ceased to beat. Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, was dead.

"I'll miss you too, Toru.."

You two were torn apart with nothing to do about it and you finally allowed yourself to shatter into countless little pieces while the sun was finally rising, ringing in a new day which was adorned by a clear blue sky. A blue that only his eyes could ever hold.

Tears and snot streamed down your face as you bent over Satoru's body, your face buried in his chest like you could breathe life back into him. You sobbed and wailed painfully, holding his cold body incredibly tight. Cries and begs and pieces of yourself cut through the tranquil day.

It was unfair.

It was unfair how wedding plans suddenly turned into a funeral.

bonus;

Several hours had passed and cries of agony had turned into deafening silence. Your ear was still pressed to Satoru's chest like you were expecting a heartbeat to return, but it was over. This wasn't just a nightmare. This was cruel reality. Eyes that once sparkled for the love you had for Satoru were now dull and lost their former shimmer. Motionless, you were still bent over his body, protecting and shielding it from the curse called reality.

"[Name].." It was Shoko who stood by your side along with the medical team. Judging by her swollen eyes and sore nose, she had been crying not too long ago, as well. "You need to let him go. Satoru..he wouldn't have wanted you to be like that."

No reaction. If Shoko didn't know any better, she would've believed you had died as well and maybe..maybe a part of you actually did. The doctor frowned. She knew how much you loved Satoru, how many plans the two of you had and that all of your future plans were tied to him, but..she also knew that the longer you'd remain in the snow with a dead body, the more your health would be endangered.

"Come. It's time to go home, [Name]." Shoko gently pried you away from Satoru's dead body and although you didn't resist physically, you immediately raised your voice and started crying the moment you saw the medical team picking up Satoru's body.

"Don't! Anything but that!" You yelled, vision blurry with tears. You reached out your hand to the body that belonged to the man you had given your heart and soul to.

"Don't take him away from me!"

taglist; @torusmochi (i'm so sorry)

[xxscarletxrosexx]

Spy x Family Ch. 99 Thoughts + Analyses

God, this entire chapter has been an extreme roller coaster from feeling excitement to sobbing--I'm terribly emotional when it comes to reading war stories must be from all the times I was forced to read war stories throughout my English education program to anger to resignation.

... but this is why I love Spy x Family and the brilliant storywriting of Tatsuya Endo.

Ch. 99 Spoilers ahead.

There's a level of depth and care put into these characters that make them feel so real. If you have someone who has family serving in the army or if you are someone who has read countless accounts of war, then surely you are affected emotionally by the horrors of war. In my case, war stories are what made me look at life and identify the meaning of it. Although I won't go into too much detail about my findings, I did walk away having a deeper appreciation for literature and for humanity itself, in other words, I cry easily to war stories. Hence the case of this chapter.

I was already prepared that Ch. 99 would be a devastating chapter considering that Ch. 98 ends with a cliffhanger in which the alarms go off just as Martha was going to confess her feelings for Henry, and that this 'side mission' story is expected to conclude before Ch. 100. And it truly did not disappoint.

As mentioned earlier, this chapter is a jam-packed rollercoaster ride with previous expectations motivating my excitement as well as my dread for the inevitable.

First, I'd like to address a part that excited me: parallelism.

What quickly striked me was how similar Henry was drawn to Twilight after departing his jail cell. Even the context of the chapter leading up to this physical change indicates that sacrificing oneself for the best outcome/greater good was a theme echoed by these similar character designs.

There is also a third "similar character design" which has become a popularized theory in a possible relationship between the Captain and Twilight. However, I'm starting to see that these similar drawing styles don't identify relationships, but alignment in sacrificing oneself.

I see this as an alignment amongst the three because we now have two lores that shared the impact of war and the injuries sustained, whereas the Captain/First Lieutenant has yet to have his lore addressed. We can surmise based off Twilight and Henry's background that their experiences from war is what continues to drive them in their chosen field/occupation. I'm excited for the day that we learn the Lieutenant's real name and his POV from war. It is then that we will finally get three POV's:

The West / WISE - [Redacted]/Twilight/Loid

The Neutral Civilian - Henry

The Ostanian / SSS - Lieutenant

This is the perfect time to segway to my next excitement: symbolism.

Even though the lore on the unnamed First Lieutenant/Captain has not yet been addressed, his scars tell me that he's experienced a similar outcome. Tell me, have you guys noticed that all 3 men had experienced the same injury found on the left side of his face?

When I looked into the symbolism behind it, I found that the left side of our brain is responsible for processing emotions. The injury to the left side of the face signifies an emotional trauma in which their emotional side had to be silenced. Given what we've already learned about Twilight and Henry's backstories, their personalities and thinking are often stemming from an analytical/logical approach.

Of course, old wives' tales are not always scientifically supported, so I was prompted to research more, and I stumbled across an interesting one regarding emotions found in different parts of the brain:

Since this is a theory, it should not be taken as a fact without repeated research and evidence to support the claim. I, myself, do not claim to be an expert when it comes to neurology or psychology. But this information, when taken from a creative writing/literary analytical stance, can support that the left-face injuries had essentially damaged the positive facial expressions--which can support Twilight and Henry's experience. Thus, we can also surmise that the Captain had experienced a similar fate.

Another thing that we can learn from these injuries (at the time that they were present) is that the character is currently experiencing a time of vulnerability--[Redcated] after returning from battle and Henry, who is still in mourning, is still a bit withdrawn from his students.

Another symbolism that I got excited about is the dichotomy between Henry and his father in character design.

Notice Henry's hair is straight and tied up in contrast to his father who has his hair wavy and loose. Although subtle, I found this character design beautiful for its ability to show a dichotomy in their social/political views.

Wavy hair can be perceived as something flowy, as in going with the flow. Because it isn't tied up, I see that Henry's father doesn't need to hold himself back, and is free to express himself and his views. In contrast, Henry's hair is straight and tied back. Straight hair can be perceived to support Henry's straightforward nature (which is also one of his weaknesses as well as covered in the previous chapters). When his hair is tied up, he gives an air of elegance and looks like he's got everything together. However, his hair tied back could also illustrate imprisonment of the mind, where his views cannot be vocalized at a time when tensions were high during the first war. Furthermore, his "rebellious" behavior resulted in him ultimately being tied down to what was imposed on him (marrying the person his father picked).

I love the detail in which Henry is drawn with his hair untied and unshaven. He's broken at this point, and as we all witnessed at the assembly, he loses control of himself over this grief that he's taken into custody and slandered a traitor. The next time we do see him is when his long hair is chopped off and traded for an undercut--a telltale sign that he was starting anew, and looking awfully like Twilight.

During this social climate, Henry was perceived as the 'villain' in the Henderson family due to his 'bad' behavior. But let me, just say that Endo-san loves to remind us through character design just who is the true villain. Did you notice it, too? It's the nose. Henry's father has a pointy nose, reminiscent of a witch, whereas he inherited his mother's round nose. Another small detail, but it made me laugh. This is why I love Endo-san.

Above, I have addressed what made me happy. Now, I will address what brought me to tears, that being Martha and Henry.

I mean, it's no surprise that they wouldn't have a happy ending. I was well prepared with the knowledge I know about them from present-day story that mentions of Henry's daughter, cameos of his wedding ring, and Martha working with the Blackbells, and recently reveals that she had an old crush on Henry. The absence of their love being pursued led us to believe that Martha may have had a one-sided romance. But ch. 99 confirms that Henry reciprocated his feelings for her due to yearning her letters.

It wasn't until news of Martha's life-threatening decision did it impact Henry significantly, and then his breaking point to realization that he loved her too late was when Martha showed her vulnerable side in her letter with the following:

I practically balled right here. I was teary-eyed leading up to it because war stories are always so heartbreaking, especially to those who sacrifice or don't make it home alive.

We now learn why Henry ended up marrying someone else is due to Martha's "inevitable" death--unbeknownst that her decision not to volunteer would also result in death. From what we read, Martha was too emotional to vocalize her situation clearly, and even if she did, her message would be blacked out, unfortunately. So it is evident that Martha was trapped and had no way out other than choosing to volunteer and ultimately "die" in battle.

Henry, on the other hand, could not fight the system, despite that he became a History teacher just to do that. He failed because his countrymen and the system failed him. He lost his beloved and if he were to continue holding onto his belief, he'd lose his ability to teach. Essentially, he lost the fight (to change history/improve the situation through education during that social climate), but not the war (in which there is still hope for history to change). Heny, ultimately, shared a similar fate as Martha through self sacrifice of his livelihood.

I was and still am completely discombobulated by the war and its impact on Martha and Henry that, to be honest, I completely disregarded Donovan Desmond.

I know I won't be able to capture the importance of his lines as eloquently and moving as I did with Martha and Henry, the former pair leaving a moving impact on me during this chapter, so I'd like to recommend my dear friend, @yumeka-sxf 's, analysis which covers more of Endo's brilliant story writing and character development decisions.

After rereading the chapter as well as her analysis, I agree with her point that Donovan Desmond was made to be the antagonist of the story. I believe Donovan's view of liars and holding absolutely no hope for them is a necessity for readers to continue perceiving him as a villain in the series. This is because we cannot perceive good and evil as simply black and white in the series when we have both Yor and Loid dirtying their hands in the name of protecting their countries/loved ones. We hold love for the characters in this series because of their personalities, values, and moral compasses amidst taking life after life. In their social climate they must always choose to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, which is why their tainted actions can be perceived as forgiven. Donovan Desmond, on the other hand, cannot share that 'exception' because an action/drama story needs a villain.

If you made it to the end, thank you so much for your time! I hope you enjoyed my analyses and thoughts on Ch. 99! What do you guys think about the chapter and my analyses? I'd love to hear more from you! :3

[star-centric]

Okay I have a mean request :)) So hear me out: something happens to MC (maybe they get attacked by another demon or smth idk) and it ends up causing Belphie to start getting nightmares about lesson 16 of the original game. Now, normally, if he has bad dreams, he'd go to MC for comfort, but he doesn't exactly want to make MC comfort him for him having hurt them, so he tries to keep it to himself. How it ends is up to you.

Got in the mood to write and I love this idea!! Reader is gender neutral!!

CW: mention of violence/injuries (but nothing gory/graphic), spoilers for lesson 16 in the first game

It’s rare for Belphie to not get any sleep. Borderline impossible even.

But yet he finds himself standing outside your door, late into the night. He’s sure that everyone else is sleep- he can’t even hear Lucifer’s cursed record echoing in the halls.

Belphie wants to open the door, but as his hand inches towards the handle, he pulls it back to his side. He wants to open it, crawl by your side to have your own heartbeat lull him to sleep like he’s so used too. But he can’t do it. He wants to see you so bad, but he forces himself not to.

He doesn’t know how he’ll react to seeing those marks on your skin.

Despite it happening weeks ago, your injuries remain fresh in his mind. The bandages that his brothers had to wrap you made his heart drop, and the claw marks that were left around your neck made him want to hurl. It was hard for all of them to see you hurt, but Belphie especially couldn’t handle seeing you like this.

Because it reminded him too much of what he did to you.

Sometimes he can still see your lifeless body when he closes his eyes. He still gets nightmares to this very day over it, his own malicious laugh haunting him.

His throat tightens at the thought of it, but he forced himself to swallow away his tears, his dread- how can he cry when he’s the one who killed you? When he was the monster? He doesn’t have a right to he feels, so he just bottles up his guilt and hatred for himself. Like he’s doing now, except he’s barely holding on.

Belphie is on the brink of falling apart when he takes a step back, repeating that he doesn’t deserve your comfort, your touch, anything from you- but his breath catches when the door cracks open. He’s frozen as you stand there, rubbing your eyes and yawning. You become a little startled when you become aware of him, voice still filled with sleep.

“Belphie? What’s wrong?”

The collar on your shirt droops a little, and he can see some of the claw marks on your neck peeking out underneath it.

Anything that Belphie had planned to say immediately dies on his tongue.

He feels your fingers gently grasp his cheek. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until your thumb wipes away a tear, eyes full of concern and brows furrowed in worry.

How can you still look at him after what he did to you? How can you still show him love?

He doesn’t deserve it.

He doesn’t deserve you and he knows it.

Belphie can’t stop the tears rolling down his face no matter how hard he tries. He finds himself on his knees, trying to control his sobs but failing. He wants to apologize, beg for forgiveness, but all of his words are spilling out jumbled together. All of his bottled up emotions rise to the top, unable to be contained anymore. He’s pathetic he thinks, but all he can do is wail as you slump down to the floor, taking him in your arms.

It only makes him sob more when he feels your warmth, your arms bringing him in closer.

Time becomes a blur for Belphie, and he finds himself in his usual spot by you in your bed. He wants to feel embarrassed, ashamed of acting so childish- but he just sinks into your side as your fingers lightly comb his hair. He hears your heartbeat in his ears, lulling him into a much needed slumber. He also hears your gentle tone- even if he can’t make out the words, it brings him a sense of peace that he’s been missing for far too long.

He may never forgive himself for both what he did and failing to protect you- but he will find a way to atone for his actions, from now until the end of time.

Belphie finds it easier to sleep for the first time in a while.

[lyuenger]

** Authors note. Obvious C3E91 spoilers.

[[ update, thanks to @ReaderOfDragons sending me an invite I'm now on AO3, and it's posted! I did make a few changes/updates/fixes - so read it there for the updated/better version ]]

Also, my first fan fic (and I don’t have an Ao3 invite yet, so I’m sharing here). The moments after played in my head, and the players didn’t act it all out, so I figured I would share tge version in my ''mind palace'. I’ll be sharing more art soon, now that my main job is on summer break.

Note that it switches perspectives. Also, pasting it here messed with my formatting (but I think I fixed most of it).

Faithful End

Chet couldn't hear the sounds of the metal clanking around him, only the ringing in his ears, as he stood in shock and disbelief. The air tasted of blood, sweat and red earth. Quickly his world snapped back into focus and he began to survey the battlefield. What remained of Otohan was charred and strewn about near the freshly made crater on the cave floor.

Orym.

Orym lay still and limp, covered in blood (surely both his and his foes), his sword in the nearby dirt.

A slight rise of his chest showed he was still alive, somehow.

He's alive.

Ash..

A quick look to where he had finally fallen at Otohans blade showed Imogen and Laudna rushing to aid him.

Chet rushed to Orym, knelt down, and fumbled in his pockets until he touched the cool glass of his last healing potion. He uncorked the bottle, pulling the limp Orym up and cradling him into position. “You did good, my boy.” He quietly croaked, as he carefully poured the red fluid into his mouth.

Orym’s chest rose, filling with air, and fell again as he started to exhale, then cough. Green, tired eyes opened and looked up into his own. Chet sighed in relief.

******

Orym coughed, the metallic taste of iron and the familiar herbal taste of a healing potion filled his mouth.

He hurt.

Everything hurt.

He just wanted to sleep, but he felt someone gently holding him, stroking his hair. He lazily opened his eyes, and saw the blue eyes of Chetney looking at him with concern.

Otohan. I have to kill Otohan and get everyone back safe.

With a new burst of adrenaline flowing through his veins he quickly, albeit unusually clumsily, pushed onto his feet. Intense green eyes, framed by the fresh blood that smeared his face, darted around.

There was an odd stillness on the battlefield.

Laudna and Imogen were clutched together.

Shaking.

In fear?

No. Crying. They were crying. Sobbing.

He lowered his eyes and saw an empty glass bottle abandoned near Imogen.

Alert green eyes shifted slightly, resting on Ashton. He was sitting next to them, face buried in a large stoney hand. He couldn't make out his words, but he knew Ash… “Fuck. Shit. Piss.” Surely.

His eyes shifted once more and discovered a newly formed crater, and the charred and bloody remains scattered around the red and now sparkling earth. The sight caused his heart to skip, until he recognized the features… Otohan.

Oh thank the Gods.

He hadn’t believed they would survive that fight, but his friends had pulled it off. He closed his eyes and worked to catch his breath… slow his heart rate. It was over.

It would be okay… he gave himself a moment to let the adrenaline subside, and opened his eyes again.

The sparking red soil caught his eyes now. Pieces of metal? Where did all the metal pieces come from?

The gears in his head began to put the information together, but it didn’t seem to want to click into place. His shifting eyes scanned the cave once more and fell on Fearne. His Fearnie…

He watched those big eyes of hers filling as she stepped into the crater bent down.

Wait, what happened… why was she so upset otohan was dead? Why were the others so upset. They won, somehow.

At least this fight. He knew it wouldn't be their last.

He scanned the cave again checking on his friends. Immogen and Laudna were looking pretty battered and drained, but not quite as rough as Ash. Then again, Ash always looked pretty rough. Chet (who had moved over to check on Everoa) looked real rough, but he had went down hard. Luckily FCG had helped him.

FCG. Did he escape? He had been running…

Movement caught his eye, and he looked over in time to watch Fearne stand, clutching a large metallic chunk… what remained of FCGs smiling face. The eyes were cracked and FCGs smile was now disjointed and crooked, but it somehow still felt… warm.

“Letters?” He heard the words croak out of him, as he looked into Fearne’s and then Chets eyes. He read their faces. Tight, with wet eyes. Feeling his heart shattering, he knew.

“No. Nonononono.” The words softly left his lips. Fearne, barely holding back tears, rushed to him. Her comforting arms gathered him up and Orym buried his face into her.

****

Ash woke up, feeling like he had been ran over by a dragon, but that was nothing new. He always hurt. Although he didn’t always feel this weak.

Having friends, with concerned faces, helping him up was new though. So he sat up, and then stared wide eyed at scraps of metal that had settled across the ground.

Why was there metal on the floor?

That color…

The same color as… The color of FCG.

He scanned the room, quickly taking in the destruction. The crater. The remains.

Why?! Why did he do that. We talked about that.

He knew that damn automaton was going to sacrifice himself one day… he had hoped he would get through to him, but no.

No one gets left behind.

But Letters was gone.

His friend was gone. Gone.

Bits spread everywhere across the cave.

He tucked his face into his hand.

“Fuck.

Shit.

Piss.

Damn it.

You self sacrificing litt….” The words that escaped his mouth registered in his brain, and his eyes flew wide with panic.

Wait.

Orym. She got Orym. I have to help Orym.

Eyes darted to where he had seen him fall, and saw Chetney holding him as he set down an empty glass bottle. Orym’s tiny body shuttered as he coughed awake. Ash felt his body exhale in relief.

Orym will be okay. He's a little guy, but the toughest guy I know.

He's okay.

He's okay.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself, wiped his eyes, and looked around the room again. So many metallic scraps littered the rusty red floor.

“Fuck. Shit. Piss.” He muttered angrily to himself, and punched the ground in frustration.

He vaguely took in Ferane running to Orym and Chet, and the other two witches clinging to one another for another moment before jumping up and rushing around to look for something.

He stood dumbfounded and unsteady, leaning against his hammer and lost in thought, until his eyes caught on an unnaturally bright glint of metal in the cave wall.

No one gets left behind.

The words echo in his head on repeat, but all that escapes his lips is “Fuck.”

He takes several slow strides as his feet lead him to the rocky wall near their exit.

The piece of metal, a distinct shape…

The coin. That. Fucking. Coin.

That fucking coin that he always trusted.

What a lot of damm good it did him.

He jammed his fingers into the rock around the metal, gripped firmly and yanked. The rock crumpled away easily and he palmed the coin, staring at it for a minute before slipping it into his pocket.

“We have to make this count” Chets scratchy voice stated matter of factly. Ashton looked over to see him snatching up the backpack.

“Right.” Ash muttered to himself, and he moved to help the others gather anything they could.

***

The blood and dirt covered halfling wiggled out of Fearne’s arms, so she reluctantly set him down gently, making sure he was steady enough on his feet before fully letting him go. His eyes darted around the debris littered on the ground. He knew, deep down, it was futile, but he helped them gather all the pieces they could.

Fresh Cut Grass.

His body may have been weak from exertion and damage, but Orym’s perception didn't fail him. He could sense Fearne following near him, as he maneuvered towards a shiny chunk that had caught his eye. He wearily crouched and picked it up, turning it over in his small hands carefully, avoiding the sharp edges. Familiar slash marks arched across it. Like blades of grass reaching for the sun, or swaying in the wind. Tiny, calloused fingers, stained a brownish red with the soil and dried blood, carefully caressed the recessed lines in the smooth metal.

Letters.

He closed his eyes and hugged the piece of metal tightly to his chest.

FCG.

Faithful Care Giver.

FRITA. Fuck.

What am I going to tell FRITA…

Unconsciously he gently rubbed the moons on his shoulder. The physical pain taking a backseat to the anguish that burned through him. It was not a new feeling. He didn't like it. He would rather feel the physical pain.

It should have been me…

Letters should be with FRIDA, and I would be with Will. And Dad.

Oh Dad, I failed.

Again.

This is too big, and I'm, I'm too li….

A firm hand gripped his shoulder, breaking him away from those spiraling thoughts. He glanced up, first to the hand, then up Fearne. Her expression was full of concern, her voice soft, warm, and comforting, “You okay?”

He didn't think he knew the answer to that yet, and he knew he couldn't talk without falling apart, so he simply flung himself around her in a tight hug. If she could feel the tears soaking into her skirt, she didn't say anything.

*****

Fearne was barely holding it together. FCG was gone. She had never lost anyone she loved like that. But her best friend needed her, so she focused on him. Orym was a hardened soldier, the Savior Blade of the Tempest. He fought steady and bravely. He was a little guy, but so strong and agile. She had never seen anyone do so many sit ups, or wield a sword with such grace and control.

But his heart was fragile, having already been broken, and not yet fully mended.

Not that it ever could be. Some wounds never fully heal. She was starting to understand that. Her heart began to crumple under the weight of their mutual loss, compounded by seeing the pain in Orym’s face. She could feel his rough, gasping breathing as he clung to her.

She couldn't fix their broken hearts.

So she gently rubbed small circles onto his back instead, pushing away the sad thoughts, and focusing on comforting him.

I can't fix this, but I can remind him that he's not alone.

Orym suddenly jerked his head away from her to look down the cave entrance. She could see the damp (and blood and dirt stained) spot he left behind… Although her clothes were already quite soiled before that. Chet had also glanced over his shoulder at the same time. They must have heard something.

Quietly but firmly Chet informed them “We have to move, we won't be alone here long.”

She watched Orym nod, his face now stern and determined.

A soldier's face.

Orym slipped the hunk of metal he had been gripping into his bag as Fearne lifted him, easily swooping him up and onto her shoulders. Man was he light! And so drained, his grasp weak as he held on. Being so drained from the fight, she was sure he couldn't move as fast as they needed to. And they needed to move fast. They needed to find a safe place. They all needed to rest.

***

“Let's go!” Chetney growled.

“On it!” Ashton raged and punched the wall where the exit was.

“We still need to find the …” Laundna’s frustrated statement was cut short.

“Found it!” Imogen exclaimed, briefly holding up the staff FCG had been carrying. Laudna stopped her search with a sigh of relief, and they made their way to the others.

Smart.

Imogen was smart. Orym had known for a while that she was leadership material. They would need the staff for it's ability to teleport everyone. Soon. Too bad it needed to recharge first. Not to mention, someone would need to attune to it.

Because…

Letters.

Letters was gone.

I failed. I failed Letters. I wasn't enough, even with the powers Nana Morey gave me.

Orym felt a firm squeeze on his leg, grounding him. Fearne kept one hand gripped firmly on his leg to make sure he didn’t slip off and she rushed down the tunnel.

He held onto her with as much strength as he could muster, as the remaining Bell’s Hells fled for their lives. He looked at his friends, all beaten and tapped out, but pushing themselves past their limits once again. Helping to steady one another and make sure everyone was keeping up. Orym hugged Fearne’s head tighter and nuzzled it a little. He had great friends. Weird, but great.

I couldn't save FCG, but for now I need to focus on getting the others home.

Home safe.

Alive. Somehow.

Dad and Will wouldn't stop fighting, and neither will I…

[twstgarden]

❀ ❝ 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲'𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 ❞

━ malleus draconia x gn! reader ━ hating how your body works will always be a feeling you've grown accustomed to. at one point, your dearest lover found you breaking down and loathing yourself and he attempts to comfort you and show you just how much of a gem you truly are. (f/n means first name)

cw: (including, but not limited to) topics of self-loathing, talks of dysphoria

requested by: @meleanorsslave <3 <3 request type: oneshot - hurt/comfort trope requester's message: i'm hungry for some hurt/comfort and i saw that your requests are open. May I request fluff oneshot of malleus with a reader who is physically weak? like, malleus comforts the reader while the reader vents out their frustration about the way their body works totally not bcs that's relatable. oh, not to forget, I hope you're feeling alright, eating 3 meals a day and having a good rest!! don't overwork yourself, mina!! <3 florist's note: this request hit a liiiittle bit too close to home. apologies it took a while~ my own writing is making me cry with how realistic this is lololol. and to everyone who self-loathes or those with bdd, please know you are loved and you matter. you are perfect the way you are <3

this work does not contain spoilers for chapter 7, diasomnia's arc.

do not steal or translate without my permission.

within the confines of your dorm room, there you stood once more by the mirror, unable to look at yourself in the eye yet brave enough to stare at your own body with so much hate and disgust.

it's not your fault, they say, but it feels like it is. every physical education class always ends up with you either getting left out of the activities or getting to work twice or even thrice as hard as your other classmates - all because you were physically weak.

why were you like this?

why were you born so weak?

what mistakes could you have possibly made in your previous life that you ended up being cursed this way?

all those thoughts roamed in your head as you kept staring at yourself in the mirror. it's not like you haven't tried to improve yourself. you've done a lot of things to improve your weaknesses. every suggestion and every advice was taken into consideration, yet it never seemed to work.

your eyes glazed over yourself as you stared at the mirror, looking at your arms, legs, shoulders, and even your torso with great hatred. i would trade everything i have just to not be like this, kept chanting in your head until you started tearing up.

not only am i physically weak, but it was enough to send me crying like a goddamn baby, your voice echoed in your head as your tearing up turned into soft sniffles and sobs.

unbeknownst to you, someone was passing by your room and heard your muffled sobs through the door. footsteps were then heard entering your room before he knelt down next to you.

"f/n? what's wrong? did someone hurt you?"

malleus' voice somehow made you sob even more. you felt pathetic now that even your boyfriend caught you like this. he immediately brought you close to him, holding you in his arms as you kept crying and mumbling words that sent him worrying.

"why am i like this...?"

"what?" malleus responded in shock as he continued holding you, but looked down at you to see you crying into his chest, completely surprised at your question.

"why am i so weak? why was i born like this?" you sobbed as you tightened your grip around him, making him caress your hair as he realized what you were saying.

you sniffled as he held your hand and brought it up to his lips, planting a soft kiss on them as you looked up. he continued to trail kisses from your hand to your arm before moving to your forehead and cheeks.

"every spot that gets a kiss means they are perfect," whispered malleus before he continued showering you with soft and gentle kisses, "i don't ever want to hear you doubt yourself, my love. you're magnificent the way you are."

"you're not weak," whispered malleus once more as he placed a kiss on your shoulder before placing a finger under your chin to make you look at him, "what made you loathe yourself so much?"

you cast your gaze away from him as you mumbled in reply, "i just... it was always like this, but... today, i... was left out in class again..."

he frowned at your words before pulling in for another hug. you felt comforted and safe in his arms, his warmth and loving touches gave you a sense of security, almost as if he was your safe space.

well, he is your safe space.

"my treasure, let no one in this world make you feel like you are anything less than worthy because they think you're weak. you're not. you've always been one of the most resilient people i've met," spoke the dragon faerie as he gently rubbed your back for some more comfort while hugging you close.

"but..." you trailed off, making him look at you as he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"you're not weak just because you aren't as physically resilient as everyone else. strengths come in different forms, my love." his words brought a sense of comfort in you, especially with how gentle and loving his tone was. he then placed a kiss on your forehead as he whispered, "i love you, f/n. if you feel this way again, please don't ever hide from me."

you nodded a little in response as you hugged him tight, sniffling softly as your crying died down a little, "...thank you... for being there for me..."

a faint smile ghosted over malleus' lips as he caressed your hair, "why are you thanking me? i'm your beloved. i'd consider myself a failure if i could not even comfort the person i love the most in this entire universe."

you didn't know how to respond to that as you looked up at him, "i... but still, thank you... you've been the best partner to me and..." malleus placed a finger on your lips to make you stop talking as he smiled, "don't thank me, love. how about we buy your favourite dessert? we can stay in and eat your treats while watching your favourite movie."

you smiled in response to that and nodded, which gave him permission to carry you in his arms while walking out of your room and leaving the dormitory to buy some snacks in sam's shop or visit the cafeteria to see what they have in store.

while he was walking down the main street with you in his arms, you kissed his cheek with a sweet smile and said, "oh, and i love you, too. more than you could ever know..."

a sweet smile found its way onto malleus' lips, "how cute of you, child of man, and because of that, you can buy as many treats as you want."

© twstgarden 2023 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.