#crying to sleep

[linecrosser]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 13 - Crying to Sleep (Alt-Prompt No. 6)

Bruises, old and new.

[dolores-hazy]

I fell asleep crying

Awaken with a smile

Life doesn't make sense

Emotions running buck wild

Day and night dreams take flight

So many scenes painted

Behind eyes closed or wide

Open to the possibilities

Or maybe fishing for fantasies

Day to day gets lost in a daze

A haze of have-tos and musts

Is it better to have the mettle

Rust or dry out to dust?

Prompted by @rhymingslangsblog:

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Childhood Coincidences

Summary: The Second Chapter to Crushed.

Warning: Sick fic

Rating: General

Characters: Hiccup, Snotlout, Toothless, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, Astrid, Fishlegs

Pairing: /

Words: /

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: Crying to sleep

Whumpee: Hiccup, Snotlout

Author’s Notes: /

@ailesswhumptober

XOXOX

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that his ribs are terribly broken and not much could be done for them. Ice is found, crushed, and wrapped in cloth to put over that swollen knee until it melts. And Fishlegs decides to give Hiccup every pain killer under the sun within reason. Only alleviating his pain and providing support can help as it’ll help him breathe easier, yet also keep his ribs in place. At the same time, they prevent pneumonia. Especially after all the lungfuls of water he inhaled.

There were trying days in which the Riders kept him company constantly- he could barely get out of bed- and could not get him to admit why he refused to let them help him that first day.

If this alliance is to work, there should be no room for life-threatening secrets. Hiccup is entirely dependent on them for the time being, he needs them.

Until eventually, the worst does happen.

“And you’re sure it’s pneumonia?” Astrid asks quietly, a hand in her hair. Fishlegs nods solemnly. They’re still in Hiccup’s hut.

“If we don’t get Gothi to him now, he stands no chance,” they are dire words, but it’s the truth. Pneumonia can’t be left untreated, they simply can’t chance it. This illness is often fatal.

All day, Hiccup has been shivering and sweating because of a high fever. His breaths are once again short and shallow, every intake is like a knife stabbing into his lungs, as if the fractured ribs weren’t already troublesome enough. His coughing is moist, his mucus so thick he chokes if he doesn’t get it all up, which is extremely difficult. Pain killers aren’t enough, they need something for that cough, lest it be the reason a rib finally gets displaced.

Just as they’re talking about it, a new wave of coughing flares up and Toothless helps him sit up. It sounds like he’s choking and his face grows red trying to get it all out, tears streams down his cheeks. Watching him makes them cringe and if it looks that bad to them, they can’t imagine what it’s like to be the one to cough.

“We should go. Now. Ready Stormfly and Meatlug,” Astrid decides, taking command as Hiccup hasn’t been able to lead them since the rescue mission.

-XOXOX-

With Astrid and Fishlegs gone on a four-day flight to and from Berk, it leaves Snotlout in charge of the twins. They, too, can see how bad Hiccup is doing. For once, the Edge is left in their responsible hands.

Wringing out a soaked cloth, Snotlout replaces it on Hiccup’s forehead. He’s been in and out of sleep, his cheeks a bright red from the fever and his undertunic wet through and through, hair matted and sticking flat to his skull. He’s shivering, but they can’t use any of their furs, it wouldn’t do his fever good, they’d just be cooking him alive.

It’s quiet. There’s a fire burning downstairs to keep the hut warm. Toothless is curled up on one side of the bed while Snotlout sits on a stool at the other.

“It’s been so long… since I’ve last felt this bad,” Hiccup breathes, laying a hand on the cloth as if trying to become one with the slight relief it provides. His head is pounding.

Another cough breaks free, Toothless’ head snaps up, Snotlout helps him sit up, arms around him.

“Oh Gods,” Hiccup moans miserably. His difficulty breathing, his pain, and his illness all get to him again. He is in a truly horrible state. So when he moans and tears slip free, Snotlout really can’t blame him.

He tries his best to suppress the sobs threatening to break free, the jolts of his body only make things worse.

“You mean, you haven’t felt this awful since your leg?” Snotlout asks helpfully, trying to distract him as he lets him back down gently and Hiccup look up at him in confusion.

“My leg?” He sniffs, apparently he can’t remember losing an entire limb.

“No, I’m… I’m talking about when we were kids… You know, when… When I was sick all the time?” Snotlout raises an eyebrow. He takes the cloth back to soak it again. “Every winter… It felt like I’d die, but I didn’t.”

He freezes mid-wring.

“What do you mean you almost died when we were kids?”

Toothless comes up and purrs down at Hiccup, nuzzling him and distracting him.

“I know, Bud… I need sleep,” his Rider tries to roll onto his side, only to be met with more pain. He moans and that gets him to cough again.

Snotlout doesn’t help. He can’t, overcome with shock and questions. Luckily, Toothless is there to help out. He ends up crying until he finally dozes off, released from his awful reality.

-XOXOX-

Later that evening, Snotlout met with Ruffnut and Tuffnut in the newly finished clubhouse. It was time for them to take over his shift, so he could start dinner. It was his turn tonight.

The place is a mess, the twins have clearly been up to something, but when Snotlout walks in, they’re quiet.

“How is our fearless leader?” Ruffnut asks, but Snotlout just walks right past her and to the kitchen. The twins share a look.

“Uh, hello?” Ruffnut calls after him. “How is he?”

Snotlout stops, but not to answer her question.

“What do you guys remember about Hiccup’s disappearance?”

“Uh, which one? We know more than one,” Tuffnut shrugs.

“There is a surprising amount of Hiccups in our little corner of the word. Berk even had three!” Ruffnut helpfully adds.

“Hiccup The third. Stoick’s kid.”

Brother and sister look deep in thought, arms crossing and hands on their hips, a thoughtful expression on both of their faces.

“She got taken by a dragon, right? She was always disappearing into the forest, Astrid tracked her to this one cove, but one day she just didn’t come back. Stoick’s kid, not Astrid. Astrid came back.”

“Yeah, it was right before dragon training ended, too. She was doing a really good job.”

“We told Stoick about the cove, but all we found were signs that a dragon was there once. And Hiccup’s knife in the lake.”

Snotlout crosses his arms, a contemplative look to him. “You remember what those signs were?”

“Scales, fish bones, patches of burnt grass, a broken tree… You know, like a fight had broken out. And then we found Hiccup’s knife in the water,” Ruffnut repeats. But no body, which is why they’re trusting Hiccup the Dragon Master- or Feralcup, if one is nasty- to know where Hiccup the Lost Princess might’ve gone.

With a troubled expression, Snotlout continues on to the kitchen in the back and neither Ruff nor Tuff follow him. They simply look at one another and Tuffnut shruggs.

Snotlout is glad that they’re not following him, he needs to think.

What the Dragon Master just told him was a story of their childhood. When Snotlout was a wee lad and would watch as Stoick would keep his daughter indoors for the dozenth time that year because she was born much too early and that made her a sickly child.

Did the Dragon Master have a similar childhood?

Grabbing pots, Snotlout finds himself trying to remember their heir. It's been only three years, yet his memories of her are quite vague.

At 15, she had those round cheeks, like the baby fat hadn't all quite left her. There was barely anything on her, scrawny as she was. Her hair when not braided- she hated having her hair done- and came down to her butt. He admittedly thought she was at least a little cute back in the day, even though she was far from a warrior. She's nothing like the sickly man currently confined to his bed.

For one, he's a guy, there's no mistaking that. There's not an ounce of baby fat in his cheeks and his hair is significantly redder from spending all his time in the open sun, not to mention it's considerably shorter. And again, he’s very obviously a guy.

So that is what this must be then; a coincidence. Maybe Snotlout reminds him of someone from his own tribe before he lost it and that’s why he said what he said.

Snotlout grabs the ingredients for their dinner for tonight and for Hiccup’s soup. The thoughts continue to plague him, no matter how hard he tries to push them away.

This has to be a coincidence. It just has to be.

[all54321]

The End of Evo/The Only Survivor

[AO3]/[AO3]

I’ve been lagging behind on putting my Whumptober fics on Tumblr, so here’s two that go together but weren’t posted together… because I didn’t think of it at first.

Summaries: After spending a long time trapped with the Watchers, Grian finally demands to see what happened to his friends… he really wishes he hadn’t. / Now alone, Grian lets loose on all his feelings over Evo’s destruction.

This is canon to all of my fics where Watchers all canon. So… little prologue to those fics.

Day 9: Presumed Dead

Day 10: Alt 6: Crying to Sleep

—————

‘Fine,’ the first Watcher says, ‘we’ll let you see Evolutions.’

Part of Grian is relieved, the other part is worried at why they agreed. He doesn’t ask questions as it lets the purple magic surround its hands and waves spreads them apart in the air in front of them.

A window immediately opens, showing the world of Evo, well what’s left of it at least. Grian inhales sharply as he takes in the overgrown ruins of spawn.

With small gestures of its hands, the view changes, each one showing different parts of the server. Ruin either overgrown, charred, or just rubble.

He takes a step back, breathing picking up, No, they wouldn’t, they wouldn’t destroy the place after they promised. But they would, a quiet voice whispers into his head.

Grian takes another step back, he took the deal to keep everyone safe. He went with the Watchers in order to keep his friends safe. He endured this torture so his friends didn’t have to.

“You- you promised,” he whispers, barely breathing out the words.

The second Watcher turns to face him, its grin the only thing visible, ‘This is why you don’t have attachments to players.’

“Why did you ki-kill them!?” Grian says desperately, voice getting louder and cracking midway through. His eyes flick back and forth between them, grief and anger mixing in equal parts inside of him. A raging storm.

𝙹 リ ᒷ scoffs, ‘They’re players. They are below us, they do not matter. ’

“We came to an agreement, that you wouldn’t hurt them!” Grian continues, emotion bleeding into his voice. He knows better then to do that, but he doesn’t care. His friends are dead and they’re at fault.

ℸ ̣ ∴ 𝙹 closes the distance and slaps Grian across the face, making him wince. ‘What did we teach you? Emotions only show weakness, especially towards players.’

‘They disobeyed us,’ 𝙹リᒷ adds, ‘it was only right that they got punished.’

“You promised you wouldn’t hurt them,” he yells, despite knowing how they’d react.

ℸ ̣ ∴ 𝙹 grabs him by the throat, magic pulsing, ‘You will go back to your room this instance and stay there until we have prepared your punishment. ’

Grian gasps when it lets go, falling to his knees. He staggers back to his feet, not wanting to tempt his fate any longer, even if a part of him wants to pick a fight now.

He shoots a glare at them, even if they won’t see it because of the mask, and slowly retreats to his room, hand hovering over his throat and the forming bruises.

~~~~~

Grian curls up in his bed and cocoons himself in his wings. Now alone, the rest of the emotions he was holding back flood through him.

He takes a shuddering breath, as the grief becomes overwhelming. Grian covers his face with his hands as he feels tears gathering in his eyes. Despite the Watcher’s probably watching him, he lets the sobs escape him.

Grian curls up tighter into a ball, letting the sobs wreck through his body. All he can think about all of his friends who he had invited to Evo are all dead now, all because of him.

He should have a found a better way to help them then going with the Watchers, he should have set them free the moment he got their powers. He should have just obeyed the Watchers from the start. Then they would probably be alive now.

Grian moves his hands down to clutch at his arms, talons digging into them. He faintly feels the pricks of pain as they most likely pierce through his skin.

He pays no attention to both the pain and the wounds, only feeling the grief of what he’s learned. Grian only holds himself tighter as sobs wreck through his body.

The rest of the world falls as he can think of nothing but the ruins of Evo. Eventually the exhaustion catches up to him and drags him into very restless sleep.

[revelationschapter6]

please forgive me, I know not what I do

Title: please forgive me, I know not what I do Fandom: Original Fiction (Saudade) Rating: Teen Word Count: 4,270 Warnings: Seizures, mild gore/body horror, vomiting, accidentally harming partner, unintentional self-harm, holy water is like acid and he gets some on his face and hand Summary:

When you're an angel and your partner is Fallen, it's too easy to forget that what's pleasant to you, is dangerous to them. Sometimes, that meant grabbing the purified salt instead of the regular. Others, unfortunately for Raphael, not being as thorough as he should been have wiping up holy water.

Events

Whumptober @whumptober: Day 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.” | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.” Day 27: "Let me see."

Bad Things Happen Bingo @badthingshappenbingo: Food Poisoning

AI-less Whumptober @ailesswhumptober: Alt Day 6: Crying to sleep Alt 11: Paralyzed

Angstober @angstober: Day 16: Wake up call Day 17: Weakness

[lilac-gold]

Day 6- Omori AU Whumptober 2023

AI-less Whumptober Day 6- ALT Crying to sleep @ailesswhumptober

Fandom: OMORI Rating: Teen Word Count: 1609 Summary: Mari's always been the captain of their ship. The crew look up to her, so she can't afford to show any weakness. AO3 LINK See this post for a summary/explanation of the AU

Mari Suzuki was the captain of the Omori, and took her job very seriously. She commanded the crew with confidence and grace, always knowing what to do, how to do it and when it should be done. A pillar of perfection, Mari was exactly what a pirate captain should be. She gave the kids something to work off of, ensured their ship was well-organised and well-maintained, and quickly built a name for herself on land.

Despite her peg leg, she was agile and quick, a force to be reckoned with. Mari still remembered sawing her own off while treasure hunting; Hero had found her hobbling back with a bleeding stump that ended just above the knee, and she’d never been rushed to his medical room faster. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips at the thought of the ship doctor. Their crew really was perfect.

And that was how it was going to stay.

Mari knew that she was tough on them sometimes, pushing Aubrey a little too far, snapping at Basil a little too much, excluding Kel a little too often, arguing with Sunny a little too frequently. They were just kids, innocent and bright, and she knew that. But she also knew that the world wouldn’t care, especially not since they were on the run from the law.

Piracy was a dangerous job, and no-one was going to easy on them because of their age. Mari had been able to wield a cutlass since she was ten, always having been fascinated by the prospect of becoming the captain of a ship. Sailing had become somewhat of an escape for her in her youth, and Mari fondly remembered the trips she’d managed to sneak late at night onto the open sea, despite her father’s stern overprotectiveness. She’d been able to put up with it for so long. Then, he tried to forbid her from seeing Hero again, suspicious that they were courting, and Mari had had enough. She took Sunny, found a ship, and sailed. Hero joined her, promising to stay by her side no matter what. It was supposed to just be the three of them, travelling from town to town under fake names, no longer crushed by the burden of perfection.

Kel was an accident, stowing away after following Hero. Kel was supposed to stay safe with his parents, but had chosen to follow them instead. Kel was one of the crew members who Mari worried about the most. 

He was their adventurous spirit, the reckless curiosity that first got them into treasure hunting. With four people onboard, it was impossible to get enough money from scavenging and taking on odd jobs at shore. So, they tracked down maps, took bags of gold, and before Mari knew it, she was widely considered a pirate. She wasn’t as affected by the term as she probably should have been, taking the title in stride. It probably didn’t help her image that she had a literal peg leg, but still. She stayed poised, composed, confident.

As captain, she couldn’t afford to show weakness. When she found Aubrey, starving and alone on the docks of a bay they visited, she’d immediately adopted the role required of her. Aubrey had quickly become like a younger sister, Mari training her well and showing her exactly what to do. She was talented with a weapon, particularly their heavier ones, and became a part of the family fast. As far as Aubrey knew, Mari had not a single flaw, and the older girl intended to keep it that way.

Seeing Basil again had been unexpected. He was Sunny’s best friend in their youth, shy and sweet. Not exactly pirate material, but how could Mari refuse him? He’d begged to join their boat, needing money to pay for his sick grandmother’s treatment. His grandma was the only person Basil had left. Mari let him become a part of the crew, and he tended to their crops, doing little odd jobs around in an attempt to earn his keep. He kept out of danger more than any of the other kids, and for that, Mari was grateful.

Hero had many jobs onboard the ship. He was their navigator, chartering courses to treasure. He was their cook, preparing brilliant meals with the scarce resources they had available. He was their doctor, treating them as best he could whenever someone got injured or ill. Hero loved to help and was naturally incredible, seeming good at everything (well, minus sports). He made it look so effortless; Mari admired him immensely. She tried her best to look like that too, but she actually had to work to succeed.

The Omori was a fairly small ship, homely and familiar yet still being a decent enough size to house all of them and carry stolen belongings or treasure. It was well known, mentioned in every one of her wanted posters. Mari wondered if anyone realised she’d named it after her piano.

Playing piano was one of the things she missed most. She could hardly take hers onto the ship, and thoroughly missed the feeling of her fingers dancing across the keys, creating a beautiful melody of her own design. The sound of crashing waves was comforting, yes, but it could get rather repetitive after a while. Mari longed to be able to create another symphony, enjoying writing music when she had time.

With all her responsibilities managing their trips, finances, battles and the like, Mari had little time to herself. Now was one of those times, but the wasn’t able to relax. Not after what had just transpired.

The Headspace was their rival ship, lead by Captain Spaceboy, named as such due to his ship’s cosmic theme. Stars were painted across its purple bow, the boat far, far larger than Mari’s own, and housing many more people. Among them were Sweetheart, a former duchess with a talent for distraction and seduction; Doughie and Biscuit, who only ever seemed to wear aprons and once fought her with a baguette; Rococo, an aspiring artist with a flair for the dramatic; Kite Kid, the inconspicuous pre-teen who boarded with them and rarely parted with his kite, and so, so many more. It often seemed impossible to defeat them, but every single time, Sweetheart demanded they battle, and the Omori had a tendency of coming out on top. Headspace’s crew tended to struggle with teamwork, unfamiliar with their teammates and their fighting strategies, relying on sheer numbers rather than each other.

Mari had won that day, too, but it sure didn’t feel like it. Because lying in the medical room, his arm slashed open by a sword, was Basil. 

Basil was supposed to be safe. He didn’t fight, didn’t wield a weapon, but then, that was the problem. To the Headspace, Basil was the weak link, and they would only keep targeting him if she didn’t fix this quickly. He would have to train too, and quickly. Mari would have to be harsher than ever. She was dreading it.

There was a reason why the kids more frequently went to Hero when they were upset, and not her. Hero was open, approachable, genuine, and always knew what to say. Mari was poised, collected, confident, and only ever pretended. Hero was effortlessly perfect, Mari was artificial. Hero was the healer, Mari was the captain. And that meant that where he was warm, she was cold; where he could smile freely, she wore a constant facade.

It was hardly any different to when she’d left, really. The crushing expectations remained, only now, the only person she could rely on to uphold them was herself. There was no safety net– if anything, she was the safety net for the others. Mari still had to be perfect, never fully enjoying her time at sea as she’d expected to. This wasn’t the freedom she’d wanted. This wasn’t freedom at all.

But what else did she have? This ship, this crew was her everything. So even as tiredness weighed heavily on her eyes, as phantom pain throbbed in her stump of a leg, Mari began drafting out a training plan for Basil under the dim light of a candle in her room. It took hours before she finished, and the sun had slowly started to rise on the horizon. Furiously wiping away tears of exhaustion and frustration, Mari forced herself to hold it together until she reached her bed.

Then, she collapsed onto it, each of her limbs feeling as heavy as lead. She had a few cuts from the earlier fight, nothing too huge but still providing a slight sting whenever she moved. Summoning all of her strength, Mari crawled under the covers, resting her throbbing temples against the cool fabric of her pillow. The slow rocking of the boat lulled her a little even as her mind blared, urging her to get up, to keep watch in case Spaceboy came looking for revenge. Most of the time, he seemed like a polite, well-mannered individual. Then, he donned his eyepatch, his demeanour changed entirely, and he was a true threat.

Mari finally let her tears fall, muffling her quiet sobs into her pillow. It was getting damp. Mari didn’t care. It was so freeing, letting her anguish finally pour out a little before she had to bottle it up again for the next day. Mari was supposed to be perfect, after all.

It was her fault that Basil got hurt. She wouldn’t let that happen again.

Mari fell asleep to the rocking of the waves and a phantom pain in her leg, drying tear tracks sticky on her exhausted face.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona

And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me 

There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble 

That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything 

[thetechnomancer233]

Yesterday, I came across a video on Facebook of a mother talking about how she “just wants her baby back” set to some very sad music.

At first, I thought it was just another post about a baby growing up… so I was all set to ignore it. Until the last clip in the video showed the mother talking at the baby’s funeral.

The baby was adorable, and so full of life in the clips she shared. Just like my baby.

I almost immediately broke down crying (while on my lunch break at work) at the mere THOUGHT of ever losing my baby!

Makes me really think about what a shit I’ve been lately. With how frustrated I’ve been surrounding how needy he’s been lately.

I love this boy more than anything in the whole fucking world, and I’ve been being a shit all because he’s teething and in pain!

I started to cry even harder…

After I collected myself, and went back into work, I started to see it as a wake up call. I don’t want to be one of those parents that doesn’t realize what they have until it’s ripped away from them!

I need to do better!

[candyje11yfish]

i agree with Merg. clover shouldve gotten a horse

[beeturtlle]

Maizula nation please where r u

[mikayesha]

Unecessary Feelings

[doodleous]

Like uncle, like nephew…

[keep-dreaming-killjoys]

I just want to have this on my blog <33

[ghost-bxrd]

(“the weather warmer, he is colder”)

— Army Dreamers, Kate Bush

[infinite-love-42]

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by tumblr refreshing while you’re in the middle of reading a one shot causing you to lose it forever. So many incredible stories that I never got to finish 😭😭