#cupioromanticism

[scribblemew]

HAPPY AROACE AWARENESS WEEK YALL!!!!!

HUGE shout out to all the aros and aces and cupioromantics and everyone else that falls under the aro/ace umbrellas, yall are so important to me, i love you all so much and i hope you guys have the greatest day <3 💚💜🩶🤍

[stabbydragon]

*Sees character who is a hopeless romantic* I diagnose you with cupioromantic

[secret-little-poet]

Incapable

To be lonely

Is to be human

And yet my heart laments

I want to know someone

And for them to know me

I want to be loved

And to love in return

I want to be dear

To my own dearest

I want to kiss

And be kissed in turn

I want feelings to bloom

Between my lungs

For each breath to be longing

For each touch to be warm

I want to fall deeply

Into adoration and attraction

And a weightless, light filled love

My heart laments

And my bones grow weary

It seems I am incapable

Of such an experience

The blossoms of friendship

Grow easily in me

But the heat of a lover

Remains absent

My heart grows cold

My hearth untended

I feel so alone

Despite being surrounded

For I will never be able to give

The love I long to experience

[aro-culture-is]

Demiro culture is being terrified you might have become cupioromantic from the trauma of rejection and wishing you could just be fully aro instead so the idea of never experiencing romance again didn’t crush your soul

.

[ranpd]

these are my 3 boyfriends. no they don’t smoke why would you ask that

sorry the post was factually incorrect. i have two boyfriends

[darkclouud9]

Yk, I think my lack of understanding on crushes (which dates back to when I was like 6) and only once falling hard for my best friend further proves my demiromanticism

[rolaplayor101]

I love our aro queen Mina Ashido, and happy birthday to her!!!!, but I still can’t get over the fact that they purposefully mistranslated the Ultra Analysis book to erase her canonical aromanticism, specifically the fact that she’s cupioromantic

The "gaga over romance" part works for her also being aegoromantic, since it's also something shown in the Manga and anime specifically, but her cupioromanticism shouldn't be overlooked either!

Also,,,stop saying she's ace when you mean aro..there's nothing to support her being asexual. She's aromantic. Sexual attraction has never come up, we don't know if she's on the ace spectrum but she sure inherently isn't just because she's aromantic

[hajihiko]

I saw your post about your ideal relationship, have you heard of cupioromanticism? I feel like it's similar to that. (Sorry if this is weird to send, I saw it and the thought crossed my mind.)

I have a little but it's not really for me

[enragedpigeon]

So cupioromanticism is when you want to feel romantic attract but can’t. This is coming from someone who does feel romantic attraction so I have no idea but to me this sounds like absolute HELL. It is? 🩶💜🤍💚

(I can’t figure out how to respond to comments but thanks for the clarification)

[androaspec-drivel]

my cupioromanticism is acting up. do not be nice to me :((( 💚

[scribblemew]

SEASON 2 HEARTSTOPPER KINDA SPOILERS!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! :)

Isaac is so cupioromantic coded in this show and I as a cupioromantic person myself, have NEVER related to a character so specifically.

Cupioromanticism (for those who don’t know) are people that are on the aromantic spectrum (feel little to no romantic attraction) but these people have the want or desire for a romantic relationship. The idea of a romantic relationship is appealing to them, but they don’t feel the romantic attraction that supposedly comes with these relationships.

A tiny bit of backstory, I didn’t know about being cupioromantic until more recently. I’ve identified as aroace for a very long time, but often found myself questioning it. While I know i’ve never felt romantic or sexual attraction, the idea of a romantic relationship has always appealed to me. I desire to have that intense closeness and intimacy people only seem to get when they have a partner. I wondered if I were a lesbian for a very long time, but never pictured myself having sexual or romantic feelings for someone else, even another woman.

While doing research, I came across the terms “romance favorable” and “cupioromantic”. The concept of being cupioromantic resonated with me almost immediately. It’s as if everything I’d been feeling had been described in one singular word.

Cupioromanticism is something that not tons of people are aware of, from what I’ve noticed, especially since it is part of the aromantic spectrum (which also, is something that the world and even the queer community don’t always address)

Back to heartstopper, Isaac, exhibits so many cupioromantic traits, especially in season 2. Throughout the series you see him reading many queer books, and not only ones about asexuality. (Here’s a link to an article discussing all the books he’s read throughout the series so far)

From this and from his behaviors in season 2, it’s clear that he wants to be in love. He WANTS to have romantic feelings for James (the gay boy that has a crush on him) and Isaac goes as far as asking Charlie what it feels like to actually like someone.

When James kissed Isaac, he had anticipated for it to be magical, and fantastic, but it wasn’t. There weren’t any feelings involved on his end. When he talked to James about it later, he states that he’s been doing research so he’d know what it’s like to have feelings for another person. he wanted it to happen, he EXPECTED to have feelings for James. He genuinely thought the kiss they shared was going to be just as amazing as everyone said, but it wasn’t.

Later on, as Isaac looks at the art piece made to represent the aro/ace spectrum, he seems to relate to it a lot. As it’s been confirmed that he is on the aro/ace spec, they haven’t specified where. Regardless though, throughout the series it’s clear that Isaac does in fact have an interest in romantic relationships, he seemingly even wants to have one with James. He was excited about it, up until he realized he didn’t have the same romantic attraction James had for him.

Considering that cupioromanticism isn’t very well- known, I doubt they are going to explore the topic much. However, as a cupioromantic, I’ve decided this is some of the best representation for it that I’ve ever seen. whether it’s intentional or not, I relate to Isaac in a very cupioromantic way.

[saiki-sideblog]

Shipping saiki with anyone is aro/ace phobic it is clearly implied he doesn't feel any attraction to anyone the closest thing we got was when he became obsessed with someone not even romantic

Uuuuuh??? Ok???? I'm not sure if you're trying to call me out for something or if this is just supposed to be a general PSA that you're coming to my blog to get out there, but I'm gonna try to dissect this from every angle I can think of.

First of all, if you're trying to accuse me, I myself am incredibly aro ace and am fucking so grateful for the representation. That's so hard to find and is part of the reason I was drawn to the show.

I know I've reblogged a few posts regarding the Saiki and Satou ship in the past, but I don't actually ship it myself. If I'm reblogging content regarding the ship it really has more to do with the dynamics surrounding it that I think are fun concepts. Usually related to how his powers affect his ability to form relationships in one way or another. Honestly I'd like to see all these concepts in the light of a QPR or something could be cool and more accurate representation. It's not like ace aro people can't love at all. They just aren't attracted to people's physical appearances

I think it's incredibly important to acknowledge that he's aroace, but the thing is... most people aren't aroace and those people are going to have a tendency to instinctively pair characters off in their heads without thinking about it. Especially when one of those characters is explicitly shown to be obsessed (your own words) with another character. If someone wants to explore those dynamics that's fine with me, as long as they aren't actually actively rooting for these ships to occur in canon. Shipping something doesn't necessarily mean you want the relationship between characters to happen in the actual franchise. The whole concept of shipping is kind of complicated tbh. But as long as someone is making content about how Saiki is aro ace in canon while also creating side concepts regarding the possibility of possibly dynamics, I don't see a big problem with it

The next point I have is something I'm kind of conflicted on myself. That's the point of cupioromanticism and romance neutral aromantics. I myself love to refer to myself as "very aro" but I was calling myself that even as I was in a relationship. It's possible to be aromantic and in a romantic relationship. The conflicting part is that a lot of people use that as an excuse to ship aro characters and completely disregard their orientation. But it's a whole lot more complicated than that. I consider myself mostly romance neutral (which is the aromantic equivalent of being a sex neutral asexual, which is probably more commonly known and understood) but I still had very strict boundaries about it when I was in my relationships, and I didn't always have the energy to keep up with my partners. My most notable relationship was an open relationship so my partner could fill in the blanks, because I have a fairly low romantic threshold if we did something particularly romantically investive I would need to straight up take a break from the relationship altogether. Just a few days to recuperate and reenergize.

Basically my last point (that last paragraph) comes down to "You can totally be in a romantic relationship and be aro, but a lot of people use that knowledge to ignore a canon minority and essentially demonstrate erasure."

Not to bring in a completely separate media franchise into this, but Bojack Horseman did a really good job at explaining some of this stuff in regards to their asexual character. They dive into how asexual people can be in romantic relationships, but not all asexuals want to. Some are also aro. And while it is in passing, they mention that some asexuals do have and enjoy sex. This doesn't explore all these concepts and ways people experience these things in depth, but it does open up every angle, leaving all of the other ways people can experience these things on the table and easily able to be figured out by an audience of people new to these concepts if they just think about it for a minute. But they keep it well defined where the character stands and how his asexuality affects his relationships and how it complicates things.

All of that is to say, shipping culture is super weird, but as long as someone is very vocal and supportive of the fact Saiki is in fact aro ace, I would allow the allos a little bit of shipping content. As a treat. Just don't ignore his practically confirmed identity just to get all mushy on a character who would hate that.

But honestly, I don't see much of a need to ship Saiki with much of anyone when Shun and Aren are right there.

[henrysglock]

Why, in your opinion, is El asexual? Some of my lesbian El analysis/ the lesbian El analysis that has convinced me, specifications starting in ST1, is a combination of imagery concerning femininity, conformity, female relationships, as well as women's bodies.

To me as an aroace, more of what I consider my aro side resonates with her.

I am just really curious because most of the time you are so spot on with these things and I just don't get it.

I see her as a lesbian first and foremost!! I'm just saying she does seem to be lacking in indicators of physical attraction in comparison to other, clearly-allo characters. It's just hard to tease that apart from lab trauma and the associated social stunting, which is why I tacked it on as a maybe for her. I read a lot of her interactions with Max as lesbian, particularly romantically. I could also see her, like Henry imo, falling along the lines of cupioromanticism/wanting romance but not experiencing the actual attraction, especially with talk of being broken/alone/having something wrong with them. But again that's hard to tease apart from her being distinctly othered for different reasons/her being someone who very much does Not fit in.

so El is v much a lesbian to me <3

[demibkdkstan]

Cupioromanticism is like being hungry and trying to order a sandwich, but you open the menu and all you see are pictures of smoothies. Confused you turn to your friend and make a remark about how there's no sandwiches and they turn to you and say "I see three on that page alone". Frantically you read the menu backwards and forwards but all you see are smoothies and the occasional pie slice. You're hungry but there's no sandwiches and at this point you'd settle for a salad.

Overwhelmed you sit there sweating until your waitress drops off a bowl of soup. It's still not a sandwich and you're not drawn to eat the soup but you're still hungry and the only other option is pie so you settle feeling out of place because you thought this was a sandwich shop. The soup tells you it loves you. You don't know what to say so you politely push it aside and avoid eye contact.

Meanwhile your friend has ordered one sandwich, had two sent to them without asking by the waitress, and is glancing at three others from afar and commenting on how if they weren't already committed to the sandwich in front of them they'd definitely go for those ones.

You look to where they point and see two more smoothies. You cry softly into your soup.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

So... I'm wondering if I'm Aro or Demiro. I've never had a crush but I've also never been emotionally close to people. well at least since I was 9. So yeah i've never had romantic feelings but I do want to fall in love and i've had so many daydreams about it...

hmm, have you looked into cupioromanticism? if you've never experienced romantic attraction you definitely could be somewhere on the aro spectrum.

[boy-above]

i feel like the easiest way to describe my cupioromanticism is that i feel attraction in theory but not in practice