#damn this is like the emotional equivalent to taking a big shit

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons that I wrote during dinner

Wherever Nimona gets overwhelmed by their emotions they bite things

And you can see that all over the house there are bite marks on cups chopsticks on the couch the boy's arms 

You know the normal things 

They didn’t mean to draw blood and the boys know that 

They do however buy Nimona teething toys because they’re worried she’s gonna break something or hurt herself 

There’s a random Polaroid photo of the trio’s arms with matching bite marks 

It’s kind of cute in a weird way like matching tattoos except a not nearly as expensive 

The trio has a lot of the same vocal stims and they have no clue where half of them came from 

One day someone just walks into the house and mumbles “root beer” and the next thing you know the three of them are repeating it until they’re basically screaming it

The funny thing is they know a decent amount of T*kTok audios (or their universe’s equivalent) but they’re never on social media

Most of Ambrosius' life has been dictated by how the media perceives him he’s not gonna stay on social media

Social media is just too damn toxic and chaotic for Bal to handle 

He tried to be on multiple social media platforms 

It stuck for less than a month and he deleted all of them soon after cause he couldn’t stand it 

Nimona just hates social media

In his own words “It’s evil and chaotic but not the good kind”

Everyone in the trio has a weird sixth sense when the other two are even slightly uncomfortable 

Ambrosius has gotten multiple calls from Bal in the middle of meetings asking if he’s okay and if he wants to leave 

Ambrosius has shown up in the middle of a lot of Nimona’s fights even though he had no idea where he was and that he was even in a fight to begin with

Whenever someone tries to mess with Bal Nimona is just there 

Like a weird little fucked up version of state farm

Sometimes when the trio is arguing and Nimona is tired of them talking in circles she will shift some of her features away

Most of the time she’ll get rid of her ears and make a big deal about not being able to hear them

And when she does that they’ll start signing to her and she’ll get rid of her eyes 

Sometimes when they're really heated they'll try and tap on her leg in morse code

Which is when she decides to full leave the room and let them calm down

They don't follow her tho cause that's the sign that they've fully pissed her off and they know to walk away and take a breath maybe eat a snack maybe take a nap

Once enough time has passed and they’ve thought shit through they’ll have a little family meeting and talk it out

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 9

chapter 16:

1. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 mulciber

2. ew. why does mulciber have to be clever?

3. holy shit. james thought reg died, so he brutally murdered mulciber. and kept chipping away even once the cannon sounded. holy shit

4. thank GOD they’re both reunited and hugging right now

5. not the note that sirius put in the canister 😭😭😭😭 “baby”. like, that was so passive aggressive and for what reason

6. oh got it. it’s a code to regulus as a tip to fake a relationship for the cameras

7. awww james brushes his thumb across reg’s cheek to apply salve. but also, that’s such a tender moment

8. ugly sobbing. james just misses sirius

9. AGAIN i will forever cry over what evan meant to regulus

10. god poor sirius. he had another memory lapse. that hurts.

11. (also the way sirius was able to note that ref genuinely has feelings for james because he’d never purposefully show soppy emotions like that to the world. so clearly calling james “baby” was an accident)

12. awww sirius offers to show his scars if remus shows his. that’s such an intimate thought

13. i feel bad that sirius has to do damage control for reg’s grief over evan

14. god, it’s the fact that both of effie and monty’s children had to go through the arena.

15. awww lyall and hope lupin’s love story is so sweet

16. AWWWWW crying again! sirius is going to tell effie and monty all about remus

17. “Remus glances over at Sirius and smiles slightly, because if there's one thing that Hope and Lyall taught him about love, it's that a happy middle is just as special.” 😧😧 what? and i’m supposed to be okay after reading that? like, i’m supposed to be okay?

chapter 17:

1. OMG WHAT??? LILY POV????

2. not the chapter starting with comments about how big lily’s boobs are 😭😭 also, i’m but a simple girl. i am now thinking about her boobs too

3. 😧 lily is connected to dorcas? and knew about fabian and gideon?? ARE WE GONNA GET TO SEE LILY EVANS??

4. OMG SHE LIVES IN THE PHOENIX WHICH IS EQUIVALENT TO DISTRICT THIRTEEN!!! FUCK YEAH (also i hope that this means that dumbledore’s death will be parallel to Coin)

5. lily is a menace and i love her for it

6. NO lily thinks remus is dead! babe, i promise you he’s alive! and he misses you too! everyday!

7. girl this is NOT dumbledores place. who gave him the right to tell that to lily? it’s not his place to say that she doesn’t have anyone left to love. doesn’t matter that it’s true. it’s not his damn place

8. eleven tributes left in the arena. gods i’m so worried

9. NOOO MOLLY!! THIS IS SO SAD

10. i’m still not okay over fab and gid’s deaths. and i’m still curious as to why

11. GIRL WHAT THE FUCK?? molly just started choking dorcas. i get she’s angry, but like, goddamn

12. AHHHHH they were involved in the order of the phoenix!!! that’s why!!!

13. sirius is watching james breathe on screen and is MATCHING his breathing. that really hurts and i can’t pinpoint why, but it does

14. james talking to sirius through the screen hurts so badly. he just misses his best friend. he says sirius is the strongest person he knows. everything hurts

15. “"Another word out of you, and I'll put my hands down yours just to rip your fucking cock off," Regulus hisses” LMAOOOOO

16. wolfstar banter >>>>>>>

17. “"I'd take being something with you over being everything with anyone else," Sirius tells him.” jfc i’m not okay after reading that. that sentence summarizes ALL of wolfstar perfectly

18. WOLFSTAR??? KISS?? OH BOY I AM BLESSED TONIGHT!!

19. dear lord i do not believe in, protect wolfstar in this lifetime and give them a happy ending

[transingthoseformers]

I am picturing the story starts during Thunderclash's funeral. Basically, when Megatron hears that their son is dying, he takes Starscream's midnight call and tells him before he can hang up, sending him the coordinates. Starscream doesn't thank him, but he does immediately rush from Cybertron, taking the fastest ship he can find with a deeply suspicious accompaniment with him.

No one on the Lost Light or Vis Vitalis expects him, except Firestar knows Thunderclash had marked a list of Cons allowed to attend and doesn't know-know but understands there is some connection. Megatron and Starscream eventually hover together and start talking about memories. Megatron finds he'd snuck into Thunderclash and finds Starscream talking to him softly, calling him his childhood nickname "Bitty". They have an intimate emotional moment and share their first genuine emotion in years.

Then they get interrupted and chased out and it closes off.

The personality ticks occur, but now with the additional parent-child reunion. Thunderclash is panicking and sick and also strangely comforted to have his parents watching over him like when he was small. Megatron tries to call him his birthname, but he bristles. Then Rodimus interrupts suspicious and leads Thunderclash away, and Thunderclash has a miniature breakdown all over him, saying he can't go into Rodimus's crew under false pretenses.

He tells Rodimus all about his life as MegaStar's first child growing up with the Decepticons and truly believing, watching things fall apart and get steadily darker, and then the final straw for him when he saw Megatron and Starscream's actions in the face of Nyon. Hot Rod helping the Autobots inspired young Thunderclash to leave and he confronted Megatron, leading to a large fight the phrases "no creation of mine" and "if you believe that you aren't my child" and Thunderclash having a heart-to-heart with doubtful uncle Thundercracker who breaks him out of grounding. Thunderclash runs off and changes his name.

He's young, the Cybertronian equivalent of a young teen, Rodimus is older, and runs into Ratchet while there. Ratchet kind of takes him in since he knows basic first aid as a helper and fosters him from there as Thunderclash learns everything and anything and gets a frame change away from a tank.

Rodimus listens to this increasingly upset story and Thunderclash's imposter syndrome feelings and doubts about his place and feelings of guilt and how it felt to have his own Carrier put a hit out on him and finds he likes messy Thunderclash a lot more and that he is very lonely and recognizes some of those feelings.

Plus it turns out Thunderclash is an ugly crier. Which Rodimus thinks is a bonus. He knows that he cries pretty.

He drags Thunderclash to his room for a session of Netflix and Chill which Rodimus does not realize is code for anything but movies and cuddling. They bond and Rodimus feels a little protective of the big guy and fully welcomes him to the Crew when Thunderclash thanks him for his kindness but says he understands that his invitation was no doubt rescinded.

Rodimus tells him "no take backs" and grins and Thunders swoons a little.

Starscream and Megatron meanwhile had a reunion themselves despite Bee telling Starscream this was a terrible idea. It was inspired by the sudden return of positive feelings surrounding saving their kid. Starscream leaves unaware that Megatron is carrying. Again.

Oh right the pre-funeral!!

Makes sense that the one damn thing they agree on rn is they need to see their kid, who is dying (maybe. Probably. He's Thunderclash, you two produced a kid that somehow was always dying but never does die)

Hmm. So Firestar knows ~something~ is up.

People must've had so many thoughts upon seeing that not only is Megatron here, but Starscream too. And they're vaguely near each other. A nice lot of mecha probably thought they were planning decepticon murder shit or something

aWWW YES. THEY'RE TRYING

THEY'RE FAILING, BUT THEY'RE TRYING

oh roddie oh thunder

this had to be one hell of an emotional moment between them, especially since it would conflict with what Rodimus thinks about Thunderclash in such a beautiful way. Because yes, I think Rodimus does deserve to see that Thunder isn't just an icon of the Perfect Autobot™️ to envy and resent, but an actual person with his own insecurities and flaws and oh Thunderclash.

Oh Thunderclash

Yes. Thunderclash is exactly an ugly crier, nice to see someone else agrees too.

He knows he cries pretty

Roddie how could you possibly know that, why do I feel like there's a story there

I mean hey sometimes you need to chill with some Netflix in order to Netflix and Chill another day. Aww. Yes.

Aww yes yes welcome to the crew Clashy

Bee tried lol Bee tried.

He failed, but he tried.

Again :)

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I want to confess something kinda funny about one of my fics because I saw a post somewhere about how antis put "not a ship" under their work (and then the work itself has the most sweetest shippiest vibe ever lol). I hope this is amusing.

I made this one fic about a pair of siblings, a fic I intentionally wanted to make platonic because I do not ship them personally. I don't judge anyone shipping them, I myself just don't for whatever reason. All I wanted to do was write a nice wholesome fic for them.

Except I'm abysmal at writing non-shippy physical touch and emotional exchanges. I mainly do various flavours of angsty romance or aromantic sexual relations, so... some of the points at the fic I thought "this is gonna come off as kinda maybe romantic isn't it". So, what I remedied it with was a tag. I tagged it with 'not a ship' of course. Because that's gonna fix it, right? Literally slapped it on like a piece of tape on a burst pipe. I'm so smart!!1

Now, it's OK if people read my fic with shipping in mind, it really is. The point is that I'm such a failperson that when I try to write cute gen friendships it comes across like they're in danger of tripping into a booty grabbing hug all the time and it's so mortifyingly funny now that I think of it after the fact.

Imagine wanting to draw a circle and going about it by drawing a square with extremely rounded corners. Like technically it passes for a circle but there's something vaguely suspicious about it. And you wonder if people see it that way as well.

I'm thinking of taking the tag out but then again it's just so damn funny maybe I should leave it there for giggles because maybe it'll crack a bonafide sibling shipper up, idk. Moral of the story I'm the writer equivalent of the doujin artist doing cheeky shit like automatically inserting messed up ass and tiddy shots into serious emotionally impactful scenes. I'm the mfer that draws the old evil man with plump glossy lips and big naturals.

Anyway have a beautiful Sunday my lovely people 🫶

Pfft.

[tiny012]

The “big ticket” episodes of the 90s anime were so ridiculously lackluster in S, SuperS and Sailor Stars compared to their equivalents in the manga. How does the anime having “complexity” and better storytelling? They failed even worse than the original source material in that regard. Nehelenia’s story in the anime was contrived and hamfisted. Worse they gave her a do-over. Being Queen Serenity’s evil counterpart and an extension of Chaos is enough.

Omg!! Thank you!

SuperS and StarS Season finale episodes are so boring compared to their manga counterparts.

StarS lacked emotion and " the stakes supposed to be high" so bad.

Shit S and SuperS was trying to cram in damn 5-6 acts worth of plot in the last few episodes.

With SuperS,They didn’t finish the Dream Arc in Supers because the last 6 episodes (161-166) they are still trying to cram in the first half to the arc ( Acts 39-43) . 

As matter of fact Episode 162 when Mamo finally gets sick and Helios finally talks to them was pretty much Act 43 in manga.

Where you have Helios comes Mamo apartment in which Usagi,Chibs and Mako are there after an battle and Helios gives the rundown on who he is, what is the Dead Moon Circus and who their leader is what is Elysion ( Elysium in the manga)  why is Mamo is sick, what is the Golden Crystal and who can unleash the seal on it. It’s a lot in that act because you are also focusing on Mina as well.

The problem is that fact that this act is pretty much in the middle of the arc so it’s ok to get the plot in the middle. After this you still got like 6 acts in the arc which a lot of shit happens before the climax of the arc. So you are getting middle of the season information at the end of the season right before the climax.

With this you had all those episodes but now you are trying to cram all this info in like 10 mins before you enter the climax of the season.

So really they didn’t finish the Dream Arc in Supers because the last 6 episodes (161-166) they are still trying to cram in the first half  the arc ( Acts 39-43) .

The Outers and Saturn Reawakening doesn’t happen until Act 44 which why you have those 6 episodes in the beginning of Stars to finish the Dream Storyline where Outers do come back and she does turn Eternal..

Supers had 38 episodes and only barely covered acts 39-43 and then used the first 6 episodes of Stars to cram in acts 44-49. 

The 90's anime didn't understand how to have nuance and multitask plots!

But it has complexity and better storytelling?

It's takes one one major plotline at a time and stays with that damn plotline for almost half a season and then have to rush another major plotline with the number of episodes is have left.

Like S ( Since I'm on hiatus of that season but I'm still in that season)

Hotaru first episode when she is introduced and meets Chibiusa is 112 which officially starts the Saturn Arc.

Episodes 112-125 is that arc which is only 14 episodes of the season. ( since the last two episodes 126-127 are filler)

When you hit episode 112 you are 22 episodes into the season.

So you spent the majority of the season on the Talisman /Holy Gail Plot and only going to spend 14 episodes of the the main plotline of the season.. Which four of those episodes of the 14 are filler so actually 10 episodes…

Then you are speed running the plot when you realized you got like 3 more witches of the witches five to deal with before you can deal with M9 and P 90 because you spent most of the season with two of the witches five. Then you also have to introduce Megen Academy which you failed to do for the majority of the season..

I mean look at the break down.

Kaolinite (Supposed leader of the Witches Five but just turned into Tomoe half dressed assistant) - 12 episodes. (Ep 90-102)

Eudial -10 (Ep 103-111) ( Kaolinite and Eudial Episodes are Talisman /Holy Gail Plot)

Mimete -9 (Ep111-120) ( Her last episode 120 is when they talk about Megen Academy and them doing research on Tomoe which if you look below in the manga they already discussed that in Act 29..)

Tellu- 1 (Ep. 121)

Viluy-1 (Ep.122)

Cyprine/ Ptilol-1 (Ep.123)

Big Battle Episodes Ending of 123,124-125

Clean up 126-127

Lets compare that to the manga/crystal

SMC 27 - S 90,92,112

SMC A 28-  S 107,111

SMC A 29- S 93,120

SMC A 30- S 122

SMC A 31- S 121

SMC A 32- S 123

SMC A 33- S 111,124

SMC A 34 -S 125  

SMC A 35- S 125

SMC A 36- S 125

SMC A 37- S 125

SMC A 38- S 125- 127(mostly 126) , Supers 128, Stars 167

Sailor Moon S Episode 125 is five fucking acts ( 34-38) in the manga.. FIVE!!!

You crammed five acts worth of shit in one damn episode...

That's why I keep saying they speed run plot..

But the manga rush plot tho...

For me R season had the best season finale episodes because the pacing was pretty good. Since I consider when they go enter future until they beat DP as the season finale episodes which is like seven episodes. Because they are slowly building up the tension and doesn't feel like they are cramming plot into two episodes. Granted they still changed a lot and left out somethings to the plot.

But's a little bit better than S if you compare it to Manga/Crystal

Black Moon Clan Arc- Sailor Moon R

SMC A 14- Classic 46, Sailor Moon R 60

SMC A 15- R 60

SMC A 16- R 71

SMC A 17- R 64

SMC A 18- R 72

SMC A 19- R 82

SMC A 20- R 83

SMC A 21- R 83,84

SMC A 22 - R 84

SMC A 23- R 85

SMC A 24- R 86

SMC A 25- R 87

SMC A 26- R 88

And with Classic the finale two episodes was emotional.

Dark Kingdom Arc- Sailor Moon Classic

SMC Act 1- Classic Ep 1

SMC A 2- Classic 8

SMC A 3- Classic 10

SMC A 4- Classic 22

SMC A 5- Classic 25

SMC A 6- Classic 19,32,33

SMC A 7- Classic 33-34

SMC A 8- Classic 33-34

SMC A 9 -Classic 34-35

SMC A 10- Classic 44

SMC A 11- Classic 36

SMC Acts 12-13- Classic 45-46

Episode 34 is Act 6 -7 and the end of 8 and the beginning of 9

Putting Usagi finding out Mamo is Mask ( End of Act 6), Mamo find out Usagi is Moon ( Act 4), Mamo telling Usagi about his past ( Act 7), Mamo taking a stab for Usagi ( end of 8) and finding out Usagi is the Moon Princess ( beginning of 9) in Episode 34

Episode 33 is the end of Act 7 and the Beginning of Act 8

Episode 35 is Act 9

Episode 36 is Act 11

Episodes 33 -36 is essentially acts 6-9  and 11 cram into four episodes.

Episode 44 is Act 10

I had to throw that with Episode 44  in how we don’t even get full Moon Kingdom backstory on how it actually fell until before the final battle.

It’s even more weirder is this 

Act 11 Reunion - Endymion  12/6/1992

Episode 36 Usagi’s Confusion: Is Tuxedo Mask Evil? 12/12/1992

(Got the dates from Sailor Moon Chronology which is here.) 

Endymion Act drops on Dec 6th and the next week we got our first episode of Mamo being Evil Endymion..

But we totally skip Act 10 until the last episode before the two episode season finale like I mentioned…

They can keep waxing poetic all they want to.

But the fact is the 90's anime made had all this "filler to help character development and character personality" and "redeem villains" and shit but when it comes to handling plot...

They couldn't handle plot structure and pacing of plot if their life depended on it!!

Because cramming fucking five acts worth of plot and story into one episode??

But they have better storytelling...

Like I said with S

The Sailor Senshi in the manga already knew about Tomoe like in the second act of the manga and was doing reconnaissance missions in the school the first half of the arc along with Har/Mic doing it longer than they did.... We don't see the 90's senshi do that until 120.... aka five episodes before the "big battle"

I be here all night if I rant about Nehelenia.

[sea-dukes-assistant]

Of course that I left the Tiara moment for my birthday month, because it's my party and I want to pretend that I can attend one.

Let your immagination run wild.

What are you wearing? OK, I'm gonna need y'all to work with me here, because us enlisted degenerates don't have an equivalent of "white tie," and I'll be damned if I'm not flexing my Big US Navy D*ck Energy at a fancy dinner (also, use your imagination; the cummerbund for my rank would be black, and the buttons would be silver).

Are you married to a royal? Are you married to a politician? Not married to anyone, but Sea Duke and I fuck are relationshipping on the down low and there is nothing you can do about it.

Which family is hosting it? The Brits, for the sake of the attached fic making sense (and Sir would have some pull with respect to me attending in the first place).

When is it happening? 🤷🏼‍♂️ I don't really think about these things. Read the fic if you're dying to know.

Who are you seated next to? (if you pick Princess Michael I am getting worried about your current mental health state) It's finna be weird for me no matter who I'm next to, but ideally I'd be seated across from my emotional support naval officer Sea Duke.

DON'T FORGET TO STICK TO THE FASHIONS OF THE PERIOD (something is telling me that people will get too wild). MY BAD. *unapologetically nests my balls like bald eagle eggs with complete disregard for the space-time continuum*

CW: THERE IS DUDE SEX.

Uniform Kink

“Do you want me to wear it to bed?” he asks, his voice calm despite the offhandedness of the question.

“Huh? What? Wear what?” I hadn’t been paying attention, my thoughts having been occupied with other things, such as the very long list of very raunchy things I wanted to do to him…or receive…when he wore his Royal Navy uniform. It seems I had let my staring linger a bit to long.

“This,” he answers with a slight smirk. “You’ve only been eyeballing me since dinner.”

Oh shit, he had noticed. I usually was better at hiding it, either by using peripheral vision or pretending to be interested in what the guest next to me was saying, staring past them and at him. Everyone had left, the task of tidying up had begun, his wife gone off to get ready for bed (I can’t be certain but I think she winked at us), and it was just the two of us. This was the first time I’d ever wished someone else was in the room, and I’m upset that I didn’t have a reasonable excuse to get myself out of this situation.

My attention now was on my rocks glass, and I absentmindedly swirl what bourbon was left in there, growing more mortified as I felt the familiar sensation of heat gathering at my ears. I take a sip of bourbon, trying to balance between making it look normal and the knee-jerk desire to just knock back what was left back because OH MY GOD THIS ISN’T HAPPENING.

Sea Duke leans a bit closer to me, a smirk on his face. “You know, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it.”

He might not have calmed my mild embarrassment, but he at least made me feel less of a need to fight admitting to it, less…silly. Of course he’d have done that at least once with his wife stop being weird!

The combination of his voice, his increased proximity to me, and the imagery I’ve conjured up in my head had a very immediate effect, one that I very much needed him to attend to.

I take a deep breath and finish off my bourbon. “Yes,” I finally admit as I set the glass down. I can see him smile out of the corner of my eye. “I hate that you do that.” I can’t help but crack smile though, because he’s done it again.

He cocks his head to the side and quizzically asks, “Do what?”

“Get me to admit shit like that.”

“Well it’s either we sort this out now, or I find out on tour, when you’ve made it known to the entire wardroom, standing at attention when no one told you to.” He points at the now obvious bulge in my pants, I assume to ensure I understand the joke.

“Fuck sake!” I laugh at his description and the all too realistic probability that that’d be exactly what would happen.

“You needn’t be embarrassed about it,” he says quietly, and begins nibbling my ear.

As a reflex, I take a deep breath, exhaling out my nose, mentally pushing the anxiety out, a wave of calm taking over.

“I’ll ask again,” he says, a hint of arousal in his voice, “do you want me to wear it to bed?”

“Yes,” I answer, a bit unhappy that that came out a bit more of a moan than I intended.

His mission accomplished, Sea Duke ceases his attention on my ear. “Right,” he states, in typical British fashion, before smacking his hands on his thighs. He stands up and straightens out his uniform.

I stand up as well, awkwardly wondering what to do with my empty glass, and, in his opinion, focused too much on where to put it. He clears his throat in that sort of agitated way that officers tend to do, and I instinctively just set my glass down on the coffee table, swallowing the urge to apologize for my squirrely attention span.

“There are more pressing matters for you to focus on,” he says. I look at him a bit quizzically, as I’m the one with obvious evidence of arousal. Sea Duke sighs, feigning derision. “I’ve been wanting your mouth on my dick all night,” he declares, before turning and walking towards his bedroom.

I follow him, perhaps a bit too eagerly, basking in knowing he can’t get enough of me, just as I can’t get enough of him.

He helps get me stripped down to the waist between quick, almost authoritative kisses, backing me up to the edge of his bed. Once I'm bare-chested, he nudges my shoulder and I sit, the anticipation absolutely killing me.

“I haven't even touched you and you're already hard," he says, smirking at me while he unbuttons the last gold button on his uniform jacket.

There's some embarrassment mixed with my (obvious) arousal, but I try to ignore that as I know that's not his intention. If anything, it probably turns him on a bit; I know it'd be a confidence booster to me!

“That makes me wonder how many times you've gotten yourself off to this." Again, this comes not as a statement but more of that tactic officers use when they want answers, but don't want to ask questions directly. He's definitely turned on though; I can hear it in his voice.

“I neither confirm nor deny that," I tell him. Truth is, I lost count long ago.

“It had to have been substantial, given how eager you were for it the first time."

Ah yes, the first time. That, too, was after a fancy dinner...and he was also in his Royal Navy dress blues that time, too. Damn him and his paying attention to these things. I feel my face get hot, this time unable to keep any embarrassment at bay. Even though I wanted it, and want whateverthisis, I still hadn't fully come to terms with it. However, any level of insecurity was easier to deal with than the crushing weight the repression was starting to have on me, to the point where it physically manifested in constantly feeling like it was literally sitting on my chest.

I feel his right hand on my cheek, and then his thumb in my mouth, opening it for what's to come next. I can't help but watch, a bit mesmerized, as he unzips his trousers with his other hand. I feel my dick twitch as he, with a bit of difficulty, gets his free. Even only partially hard, his size is a bit intimidating. Without hesitation, his thumb disappears, and he pushes himself into my mouth, a sigh escaping him as he does so. Ah, it's going to be that type of night; he's more aroused than he'd admit. Either it's coincidence, or he gets as excited as I do about the decision to stay in uniform. I decide not to ask and chalk it up to coincidence, given it's not a secret that he enjoys having me suck him off (we both do, in fact). The prospect of it being the latter, though, aides in my own trousers getting more tight in the crotch...as if that were possible.

Instinctively, I start working him over, taking a more...exploratory approach, shall we say. I've waited a long time for this to happen, and I'll be damned if I don't take time and enjoy it. Sea Duke is less patient, his typical officers' composure betrayed by his unusually frequent sighs, and soft moans. I shift my focus to the head, alternating between licking and sucking, his noises serving as both encouragement and a distraction against the now uncomfortable bulge in my trousers.

“Christ," he sighs. "You had to have done this before."

I pull away from him, wrapping my right hand around his solid 8 inches. "No, you're still the first. None of that has changed," I explain, looking up at him as I rub my thumb around the head. I guess he figures I've had...experiences...while underway that I've not told him about. By now the insecurity has vanished and I'm feeling damn proud of myself for having gotten him in such a state. Usually, he's the more "together" one and it's me just making a racket and failing to make words. I'm not sure if that fact alone gets him more excited, or if he just really needs to cum, but either way, he is ready.

“On your back. Now." That was an order.

I smirk at him, excited for what's about to happen, and also finally I can get some relief! Just listening to him has got me to being annoyed at my own arousal. I do as he says without hesitation. I reach towards the head of the bed and grab a pillow, fluff it, and place it behind my head. With the level of efficiency one would expect from a German (he'll say he's Greek but let's be real here), I'm unceremoniously stripped down the rest of the way, until I'm bare ass naked. Then, his hand is on me.

“Oh fuck yes," I sighed, grateful to finally have contact.

“Reality better than the fantasy?" Sir asks, eyebrows raised and that damn smirk on his face again.

“Yes sir," I answer, my breath hitching as he gives me a squeeze.

“Mmm, I can tell. I wouldn't even have to touch you, would I?"

Indeed he would not. Sea Duke, Admiral of the Fleet, in his blues, his zipper down, his thick dick out and dripping pre-cum, stroking every inch of me in a slow, easy manner that conflicts with his earlier impatience, was even more than I could have asked for.

“N-no sir," I stutter. My stomach muscles tighten as I try to control myself.

“Right then," he chirps, immediately removing his hand. I whine about that, against my better judgement. He leans over me, and I moan as his dick makes contact with mine. It feels heavy and oddly comforting.

“Do you want me to fuck you?" he asks, his voice low and husky with arousal. I could answer, but he's taken to nibbling on my ear, which combined with the motion of his hips is absolute murder on my nerves. I hate him. I hate him for the way he teases me. I hate it but fuck, do I love it.

“Use your words," he says as he grinds against me, his mouth not leaving my ear.

I moan.

He grinds against me again.

“"YES," I blurt out. "Yes sir...god...fuck..." I gasp, nearly finishing right then.

I feel him slowly start to prep me, and as always, he offers his own unique form of distraction.

“I do hope this is a suitable solution to your problem. We would be at sea for months. I take no issue with it but...I don't need the entire wardroom wanting to moor in my port. Although," he stands back up and removes his fingers, "I couldn't blame them for that. You are rather...eager to please." My dick twitches again at his words.

“I like pleasing you," I say, horny out of my mind.

“Mmm you always do," Sir says, easing himself into me, gentle as always, until his entire length is sheathed. He wraps my legs around his waist and strokes me, lazily, while waiting for me to get comfortable, obviously enjoying himself. All I can do is lean my head back and sigh, basking in the slight stinging mixed with intense pleasure. Fuck he's so good to me.

I buck up into his hand, a signal that he can proceed, and he begins to thrust, slowly at first, until he finds the exact angle he needs.

“"I think I like you best like this," he says, smiling at me as he pulls out, then thrusts back in.

I think I like it best, too.

@yeet-didnt-start-the-fire

[babypadawan]

ya’ll mind if I... write a long ass emotional post??

alright so my life has been pretty tumultuous for the past 2 years, since my mom first became sick with (we would later learn) neurosarcoidosis. she can’t work anymore, and when it first happened I was in college and almost done. but I had to leave in the middle of a semester after my mom had brain surgery to care for her and my little sister. I ended up going back but my degree track was too derailed to complete my diploma. they let me walk, since I only had two classes missing, which was very bittersweet because it was a typical movie spring graduation but I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be able to come back to complete it for a long time, possibly forever. anyway my mom was there which was what truly mattered to me at the time so that was nice. 

but before that we didn’t know what was wrong with her and I was 2 hours away at school with no car and no way to get home hearing stories about how she fell down stairs and passed out for days and my little sister almost getting taken by CPS and me thinking, believing, my mom was going to die while I was away. when she finally got diagnosed and the right surgery it lightened the load a bit. but she’s depressed because she can’t work or do most of the things she used to do.

which mean things fall to me. I do everything. cook, clean, grocery shopping, taking my sister to dance class, and every little thing in between. my mom can’t walk without assistance, and barely leaves the house without me. she’s in pain a lot. the disease sits on her spine, her brain. it produces pain in strange ways that we’re used to now.

we were homeless, for 5 months. somewhere between the surgeries and rehab and graduation, the landlord allowed the house to go into foreclosure, and kept it from us until the bank that bought it posted eviction notices on our doors and windows. not like I couldve kept us afloat with my under minimum wage job. so away went our lives, to be stored in a uhaul storage container til we found a place. turns out, handicapped housing is hard to find in my city. family, a term I use loosely now, turned a blind eye to us. maybe they felt they had helped too much during the pre diagnosis days, when I was giving college it’s titular try. one did though, my mother’s grandmother (my mom and I each tried staying with friends, which lasted no more than a week. we are no longer speaking to those respective “friends”). 

it was cramped, and dusty. other family members tried to tell my great gram to kick us out, to not jeopardize her place in public housing, the ones that acknowledged us, at least. we were put on a list for public housing back when we still had a roof over our heads. and 130 days without a home, we were finally given one, in the projects. which, okay, 4 walls and a roof is really amazing when youve been without, but I had grown up in the projects and was really liking the “project baby moves out, goes to college, makes something of herself” narrative I THOUGHT I was following. ha.

I was able to get a job that wasn’t bad for the most part. and we thought, finally, we’d be able to save. someone had tried helping us so I could get paid to be my mother’s caregiver and so my income wouldn’t be included in the rent. but apparently, in my state, you can’t be related to someone and be their caregiver with untouched income. which means now, on top of paying the bulk of the bills, I’ll have to come up with ~600 in rent every month. so much for saving money to get us out!! 

but wait, if I’m a full time student, my income won’t be counted. okay, can’t go finish my credits bc it’s only 2 classes which isn’t even full time. so I looked at a list of government subsidized education programs and decided on web design since I’m on the internet so much. only, I was a poor student when I first graduated high school and was given loans, and the government only has so much conditional money to bestow on the poor. so I can’t get a pell grant, or loans. SO in order to be a full time student to not pay an impossible rent, I have to pay out of pocket. or find an under the table job, though that would mean more time away from home and I need to be there to help my mom with fucking everything.

so... barring me actually writing a book, and that book being popular enough that people buy it, and that whole chain of events, excepting  a lottery win (which is just as likely tbh), I will be poor and struggling, forever. poverty is a vicious cycle. the government doesn’t allow you to have more than 2k in your bank account without going back to charge you more money. and I guess we could lie, but that time has long past and any lie to the government would prob result in little help but more harm.

my ex said something to me I’ll never forget. he said that I’ll always be poor, and I’d always have nothing. I lost a lot of friends when my mom got sick, I was sad and angry and anxious and was betrayed a couple of times so he was all I had. and hearing that broke something inside of me. or, shined a light on an already broken part of me. and maybe he was right, but what scares me the most is the thought that everyone else thinks the same way too.

this is the most I’ve talked about what happened to anyone, and that’s why. i opened up to my ex and showed him my cracks and he told me they were too much to bear. I’m afraid to tell anyone about my situation, because I’m afraid of that judgement. of being seen as a burden. I didn’t choose this life. I thought I was gonna graduate college and get my own apartment, or room with one of my friends, until I finally met The One. now I can barely have a conversation with people because I’m afraid we might touch on something that will reveal too much, or start a line of questioning that only leads to embarrassment for me. 

and i guess I’m really sad. and angry. and anxious, still. but it’s evolved. I’m lonely, but I’m afraid to connect. I’m angry because I didn’t choose this life and because of it, my own has been thrown in the air. I can’t imagine having a kid now. how would I push its stroller and my mom’s wheelchair? and I’m anxious about money. will I have enough to pay car insurance? to pay the phone bill? rent? oh and I’ve been out of school for 6 months now so I have to pay back student loans from my incomplete degree.

I try to think about my life 5 years from now and all I see is me, living at home, single, struggling. what guy will want a girl with all this baggage? I very clearly need help, but I’m too proud and pissed off to ask for it. family turned their cheeks. friends were mean snakes. I’ve become so much stronger since this all began, and I’m fiercely independent. I do everything myself, with an attitude yes, but I’m moving the heavy shit and figuring out how to fix shit. because if I don’t do it, it’s not getting done. I resent the charity case that is my life. I always wanted to move out of my city, and carve out my own little place somewhere in this world. I saw myself as a different breed than most of the girls from my city. I didn’t want to settle down early, I wanted to explore. I never bothered to make roots because I never thought I’d stay long. 

I just don’t know where to go from here. how to crawl out of this whole I was pushed into. how to make a life worth living despite everything making it feel like it’s not.

[delphoxqueen]

TL;DR: Deuce Gorgon’s Journal (2009)

What we learn from Deuce’s Journal can be summarized down to this-

July 1- Deuce doesn’t like school (shocking juicy gossip I know)

July 15- Deuce petrified some flies and fucked up his Mom’s porch

July 16- Medusa doesn’t make shit but Greek food and Deuce is like “Can we please dear god have some SOUP?!”

Ghoulash- Ingredient list for Ghoulash or Monster Goulash. I wonder if you could legitimately make this with the actual equivalents… if you actually had instructions y’know

July 18- Deuce plays casketball with Jackson and drops his glasses and borrows his. I feel a little bad cause I’m starting to ship it. But legit, why does he stay with Cleo when she doesn’t seem to have any redeeming qualities that he appreciates?

August 18- Perseus eats all Medusa’s cheese. Bitch isn’t happy, which I understand cause feta is good as shit.

August 19- Went to the maul. Nearly got a cooking book but Clawdeen said something (which I wanna know what best character said cause I highly doubt she’d start shit with him for no reason) but Clawd’s with her and he’s like “Shit. He’s on the casketball team. Guess I’ll just ignore that!”

August 23- Takes Cleo out for dinner and she’s a bitch as usual and he feels bad for the staff (which… who continues to stay with someone who treats staff like shit?!) and is like “Damn this bitch expensive.”

August 25- Asks Mom to get a driver’s license and gets his skateboard taken away.

September 1- School sends him a letter saying that he has to wear his glasses at all times on campus, which I understand why but would this technically count as discrimination or would it be like “Yeah please don’t stab people if ya bring a knife to school.” He also goes into detail on how his power works which I love but also being frozen in place but still aware of what’s happening sounds horrifying.

Whole Diary- Deuce has barely any personality but likes skateboarding, cooking, casketball, and video games.

Whole Diary- Probably a one parent household but Medusa sounds like a pretty badass momma.

Half of Diary- Cleo x Deuce is out and Deuce x Jackson is in

A few small differences I noticed through Cleo and Deuce’s diaries were that while they both sound more like they’re giving an interview with their student councilor, Deuce’s writing sounds more robotic and unnatural while Cleo’s sounds like she’s dishing out drama to her servants. Cleo is more willing to put out more secretive information and emotion into her writing while Deuce sounds like he’s at least partially trying to sound as bland or not interesting as possible. So I now Headcannon that Deuce has some problems with writing what actually bothers him (possibly out of fear someone would read his journal) while Cleo has confidence in either that no one will read it or she doesn’t care if someone does. Even if you count his “secret” or liking cooking, that sounds more like a vague red herring to make people think that’s his big secret when he actually has something more serious hidden.

[asset35-maya]

I am sleepy but I gotta make a request before the busy tomorrow so 2 things on my mind! Sleepy and the 'oh my god they were roomates' vine xD with any characters and aus I love everything you write anyways xD Happy timezones and best vibes your way >^<!! 💖💞💕💕

Oh my god, they were roommates…

//

“The rental market in Detroit is absolute shit! How dare these bloodsuckers charge such high rates for the most under-developed properties! This city’s going to the dogs!”

“Uh-huh.”

“You have to pay your own weight in gold just to live in a shoebox for a year. Nonsense!”

“Uh…”

“Are you even listening to me, Tina!

Tina?

Goddamnit Tina!”

Gavin thumped his fist on her desk, but Tina’s eyes barely flicked up from her phone.

“Oh my god, you sound like my grandpa…”

Gavin turned red and his brain buzzed with a thousand colourful retorts. He was just about to pick one when Tina stopped scrolling and turned her phone screen towards him.

CYBERSCALIA @ NEW JERICHO

The suburban paradise for executive androids and humans alike. Located 25 minutes drive from downtown Detroit, with a full amenities.

Gavin’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. He balked at her.

“You’re joking? How could I possibly…?”

“Get with the times, boomer…”

Tina lazily skimmed her thumb over the screen. The webpage promised plenty of greenery, good infrastructure and modest but spacious rooms. The extremely reasonable price tag was Gavin’s dream come true. He’d spent weeks apartment hunting in the wake of an early lease termination by his cantankerous landlord. Gavin knew he’d never find a better deal.

“Shit, this is so good, T! Why the phck does it have to be in that- that place!”

His friend arched a sceptical eyebrow.

“What place?”

“The Tincan ghetto!”

Tina smacked him on the arm. None too gently.

“It’s subsided public housing located in an android-friendly estate… because they’re the ones that need it most right now. And frankly, you seem to be in just as much need, so you should really get off that high horse.”

“Fine, fine. You’re right. I should seriously consider this place, even if my neighbours are gonna have more in common with my car than me. But damn, it seems a little too good to be true. There’s probably some fine print, hidden costs that’ll come out later.”

“Hmm… let’s see…”

Tina scrolled further and then let out a half-laugh. She held her phone up again.

“Nothing shady about the rates, but there is something you should know…”

At the risk of being called old again, Gavin squinted at the screen and read aloud.

“Bearing in mind the founding principles of New Jericho, all human occupants may only apply for tenancy in co-habitation with at least one android citizen of the United States of- JESUS PHCKING CHRIST! Absolutely not! I am not going to live with a plastic prick!”

//

Gavin had to get through half a bottle of wine before he could bear to scroll through the rental listings. Unlike other humans who had happily moved into New Jericho with their android friends or partners, he had to find an android who was also looking for a flatmate.

Some listings came from ardent supporters of Markus. These were the androids who wanted to ease the post-revolution transition by reaching out to humans. Some listings were put up by the android equivalent of frat boys. These individuals were clearly looking for someone on the fringes of human society, someone who could show them a good (if not illegal) time.

Other posts came from eccentric androids who craved company but had likely been rejected by their own kind. Gavin felt a strange twisting sensation, almost like pity, when he came across a post written entirely in third person by someone called Ralph.

He had almost given up hope when he came across a simple little listing for a two bedroom apartment in Cyberscalia.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Seeking a neat, self-sufficient co-renter. Human or android, no preference. I spend most of my time working and will be out of your way for the better part of the day. I only ask for silence during my nighttime stasis cycles, timely payment of dues and upkeep of cleanliness.

Gavin sighed in relief.

//

“Your room is the first door on the left, mine is the second. The bathroom, laundry and kitchenette are shared, as is the living room. I scarcely find use for the latter, so you need not worry about my intruding on any of your social gatherings, or vice versa. As long as you adhere to the terms of the agreement, our paths will not cross much.”

The tall, stiff-necked android dropped a set of keys, both mechanical and digital, into Gavin’s open palm.

“Er thanks.. RK… sorry I forgot your full model number…”

“You may call me Nines. Although, I’d rather you didn’t call me much of anything. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

In a swish of black fabric, the android turned on his heel and disappeared into his room. Two rapid clicks indicated the shutting and locking of his door.

Gavin sighed and looked around the open-plan living room. It was nothing fancy, but it was far beyond any of the other properties he’d viewed in weeks of unsuccessful house-hunting.

He sat down on the simple black couch with a huff and contemplated his situation. He’d ended up where he’d truly never expected to go, but objectively speaking, things were good… barring the high-handed manner of his robot flatmate, but who gave a shit about that.

He pulled out his phone to text Tina his thanks.

//

“I can’t! I refuse to! It is a violation of my personal ethics and I will simply not take this assignment any further. Good day to you sir!”

Gavin nearly dropped his bowl of cereal one morning when his roommate burst out of his door and rushed into the open balcony.

He hadn’t seen Nines in days, which was perfectly normal. The android came and went at odd hours and made hardly any noise. It was almost like living alone. The only reminder of Nines’ presence was the sight of several dark shirts and trousers regularly hung out to dry on the rack above the washing machine.

Gavin set his bowl down and watched the android tightly grip the bars of the railing and take several unnecessary breaths to calm down. He’d seen deviant colleagues express emotion many times before, but this was the first time he witnessed such a potent mixture of rage and sorrow from a synthetic being.

Out of empathy, but mostly curiosity, Gavin approached cautiously.

“Hey Nines… is everything alright…?”

There was no response for several moments. Then Nines turned around with a grimace and hands held upwards in a placating gesture.

“I apologise for the disturbance. It was hypocritical of me to disrupt the very peace and quiet I demand of you.”

“Uh… no worries…? Are you okay?”

There was a flash of steel blue eyes.

Gavin kicked himself mentally as he realised too late that he’d broached uncharted territory. Their interactions didn’t extend beyond curt nods on the rare occasion they found each other in the same space. It was almost as if Nines engineered the lack of contact, which wouldn’t surprise Gavin at all if it were the case.

“I’m fine. I merely experienced some frustration with my work.”

Perhaps it was boredom, perhaps it was his usual lack of self-preservative instinct… Gavin threw caution to the winds.

“What do you actually do?”

Nines’ expression remained stoic but his LED went through a spectacular series of colours and flashes. His next words were reluctant.

“I’m a private investigator.”

“Oh shit! I’m actually a cop.”

Gavin pointed dumbly at himself and then let his hand drop when he saw absolutely no surprise cross the android’s face.

“I know. That’s why I let you stay with me.”

“For safety?”

“Certainly not for your fashion sense.”

“Wow okay, I didn’t think I’d be much protection for a big scary droid like you.”

Nines hummed dismissively and started to move out of the balcony, body language fully indicating the end of the conversation.

Unable to help himself for some strange reason, Gavin blurted out another ill-advised question.

“What pissed you off so much?”

Nines paused halfway through side-stepping the human. A thrill went through Gavin at the shards of ice he observed for the first time up close in Nines’ irises.

“If I tell you, will you promise to stop asking pointless questions?”

Gavin nodded earnestly, and frankly… rather foolishly.

“I helped a client gather evidence to initiate divorce proceedings on the grounds of infidelity. I provided ample photo and video evidence for his lawyers to work with. Now they want me to keep following the spouse to capture more details that could gear any future settlement in his favour.”

“So what’s your problem?”

“They’re offering me an incredible amount of cash to follow her 24/7. To stake out her workplace, her gym, her parent’s home. They want me to crouch under the window of the bedroom where her children sleep. I can do a lot of things, but not that. It’s deeply insulting that they even asked. That’s why I was so… pissed.”

Nines slipped past and was nearly back to his bedroom when Gavin spoke.

“I respect that.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“I know, but for real though, I think ethics are important in our line of work. Not just because of we need morals or a sense of right or wrong blablabla, but because we need… clarity.”

Silence floated through the hallway as Nines paused with a hand on his doorframe.

“Clarity?”

“Yeah, like a sense of direction. We don’t just take cases right-left-centre because they make us money. I mean, we could, and people do… but they never become specialists or experts of any kind. You gotta strategise if you want a career. Ethics helps with that. I think…”

Gavin wasn’t sure what made him say any of that. He was neither one for small talk, nor a man of many words… but something about Nines prompted that unusual level of introspective discourse.

“Sorry that was weird. Never mind.”

“That was actually… very astute.”

Their eyes met and Gavin could’ve sworn he saw the hint of a smile.

“It’s good to see that not all humans are as one-dimensional as I thought.”

The door clicked shut, but there was no locking sound.

//

Since the morning of Nines’ uncharacteristic outburst, the frequency of their encounters in the common areas of the apartment increased. Wordless nods became hellos, and hellos eventually became full sentences.

Not that he’d admit it, Gavin actually looked forward to enquiring about the android’s day and the cases he was working on. It was utterly fascinating to hear about legal investigations without the constraints of police procedure.

For his part, Nines would share as much as he had the patience to, before disappearing into the confines of his room. Though the time he spent outside steadily increased every day.

Another morning, while Gavin was making his coffee, Nines emerged from his room, still in his pyjamas and looking as livid as he had the time before. Gavin had never seen him in anything but crisply ironed businesswear. Before he could voice any concern, Nines stiffly asked Gavin to keep a lookout for a homicide suspect.

He nodded and immediately reached for his phone to text the sergeant on duty at his station. By midday, there was an arrest.

That evening, when Gavin settled in front of the TV with his usual glass of wine, he heard the familiar sound of Nines’ door opening. The couch dipped beside him.

“Thank you.”

“Just did my job. I should thank you for the tip.”

“Hmm.”

Gavin chanced a glance at his roommate, and found him looking right back.

“What?”

“Nothing… I just had the realisation that much of my work is impotent without the authority and means to take any kind of action.”

The sitcom began to play and Gavin thumbed the remote to reduce the volume.

“Takes all kinds to keep the streets clean. PIs can do things cops can’t. We rely on guys like you for intel all the time, you know.”

“I know.”

No words were exchanged for a while thereafter. Gavin found himself unable to focus on the TV show with all the brooding energy emanating from his right.

“If you feel like being a private eye doesn’t make enough of a difference, then why didn’t you… um… you know…”

“Join law enforcement?”

“Yup.”

“Plenty of my fellow androids have done so. I know for a fact that my predecessor model chose to remain there. You might know him.”

“Connor? Yes. Very annoying.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Totally. But why didn’t you join too? You’d be brilliant on the Force.”

“My skillset is certainly well-suited, but I didn’t want to become another puppet of the state.”

Gavin really didn’t know what to say to that. He nodded uncertainly and looked back at the television. He wasn’t sure why Nines was suddenly this social.

“What are you… watching?”

Androids could scan and detect just about anything in the world, so there had to be something else to the question. Gavin, strangely, was happy to oblige.

//

Nines made an appearance every evening, without fail. He would sit through the TV shows if they were of interest, or he would bring his case material and notes to the coffee table to work in silence beside Gavin.

Sometimes Gavin liked to work on jigsaw puzzles on the dining table. Nines would sit beside him, pretending to read a paperback novel, but actually scanning the puzzle and passing the right pieces over from time to time.

Against all odds, an evening ritual and a tentative friendship developed. It was simple, but it was warm. Comfortable. Like nothing Gavin had ever had before, even with humans.

//

He awoke one morning with a slight crick in his neck but the feeling of being very well-rested.

His eyes flickered open and fell upon the window. Familiar greenery came into view… but wait… had everything slightly shifted to the left? And was that the New Jericho Capitol building? He couldn’t see that from his room! There was a tree in the way! A tree that was now a few feet away from where it used to be.

Gavin sat up in alarm as he realised that he was not in his own bed. His heart flew into his throat as Nines walked through the open doorway. Shirtless and carrying a mug of blue liquid.

“Oh good, you’re up.”

“Wha-what happened!?”

Nines frowned and sat down on the edge of the bed. He set the mug on the floor and pulled on a plain black t-shirt.

“You passed out on the couch last night. I think you finished a whole bottle waiting up for me? Sorry, I was out working later than expected.”

Gavin looked down and sighed in relief as he found all his clothes still on him.

“I didn’t want you to injure yourself sleeping at an odd angle so I brought you here. Your door was locked.”

“You could’ve easily opened it.”

“Yes, but that would’ve been an invasion of privacy. I reserve that for working hours alone.”

Gavin looked deep into the sparkling blue eyes and as usual found no trace of humour.

“Thanks…”

“Don’t mention it. Now get out. You’re ruining my silk sheets.”

//

Against his best efforts, Gavin could not keep the thought of being carried to bed and tucked in safely out of his mind. How many years had it been? Since something like that had been even remotely possible for him?

He knew that Nines was just being kind in his own pragmatic little way… but Gavin found that he wouldn’t mind the prospect of waking up in the android’s bed in a wildly different context.

He realised he had it bad when Tina caught him smiling to himself at work one day.

“Why so happy?”

“Oh… nothing. Just remembered something my roommate did… He’s a… funny guy.”

“Huh. Well, look at you getting along so well with androids.”

“Android. Singular. Just him.”

“Wowwww… he sounds special.”

//

“Who did this?”

“Gavin, the damage is merely superficial-”

“Who phcking did this??!”

He reached forward and gingerly touched Nines’ split cheek. His synth skin was smeared with blue blood and glitching in and out. Nines winced at the contact.

“Shit, sorry. That must hurt like a bitch.”

“Androids do not feel pain.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m merely experiencing a surge in sensory input wherever my chassis is exposed. I’m fine.”

“Shut up and give me your first aid kit or whatever toolbox equivalent you tincans have.”

A shade of embarrassment appeared over the android’s features.

“I… actually don’t have one. I didn’t think I’d ever need it.”

“Didn’t think anyone could kick your ass, huh?”

“No… I didn’t think anyone would ever spot my hiding place.”

“Huh. How’d that happen?”

Nines’ eyes dipped, but as always, he answered the question.

“I was… distracted.”

Something in the air solidified and both of them felt it. Gavin cleared his throat and slapped his knees like an old man about to stand up.

“Right. Let me go check if the neighbours have anything that might help with your face.”

//

“So who’s this dapper young gent you’ve brought to the party, Gavin?”

“Er… he’s my uh… roommate.”

Captain Fowler nodded and winked.

“That’s what they called it in my day too.”

Nines shifted beside Gavin and cleared his throat.

“He’s a PI. But I think he’s wasting his talent taking pictures of cheating spouses. He’s quite interested in police work. Maybe we could get him to assist on a couple cases now and then?”

Fowler put down his drink and extended a warm hand to Nines.

//

“Oh thank RA9!”

Nines came running to the cluster of police cars and enveloped him in a giant hug. Gavin laughed as he patted him weakly on the back.

“Watch the ribs, big guy.”

“I was so worried.”

“Why? Your info was good. No chance of error.”

“I meant about you.”

Gavin pulled back and regarded Nines with confusion. The flashing red and blue lights of the cars made it hard to read his LED.

“Why?”

“I can’t believe you have to ask.”

The android pulled him into a bruising kiss. The officers standing nearby broke into wolf-whistles and applause.

“What the-”

“Oh I take full credit for that, sir.”

Fowler glanced at Tina.

“The case, Chen?”

“Oh of course. I solved the whole thing. But I mean that specifically.”

She waved a hand in Gavin and Nines’ direction. The two held each other tightly and seemed unlikely to come up for air anytime soon.

“Like I helped Gav find an affordable place in New Jericho and then he met this handsome investigator droid and they were roommates.”

“Oh my god, they were roommates…”

“Yeah legit.”

//

\\\

Thanks so much for the request @jude-shotto

This ended up being a lot longer than expected, but I couldn’t help it. Your prompt just took me on a whole journeyyyy <3

[dodgen-n-weven]

mer kris

heres your art this was based on

Asking the other hermits for love advice was a curse.

"I'm telling you," Bdubs said, "you're being too subtle! You're doing that thing where you keep your emotions to yourself and die with them.”

Etho raised an eyebrow. “So? What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with—Everything!"

Okay, that was Etho’s cue to shut the conversation down.

It wasn't an exaggeration to say he and Bdubs had been friends for a long, long while, and during that time Etho had learned to pick up on some of Bdubs's quirks. The one most relevant now was the way Bdubs's voice grew when he had a soapbox to preach on and the way he got up in Etho's space when it was Etho he felt the need to preach to. And while Etho would admit he had thrown the question out there, he hadn't expected Bdubs to take the bait so easily and run with it. He was too busy to stick around for an hour long rant about feelings, damn it.

"Yeah, I get what you mean," Etho said. He got up from the scaffolding chair he had set down and picked it up. "Bye, see you—"

"You're doing it again!" Bdubs yelled, leaping onto his own scaffolding chair. "Look at you, running away from all your problems! What's that gonna do for you, huh?"

"I mean, if your problems never catch up to you then…"

Something on Bdubs's face switched. Never a good sign.

"Oh, ha ha. Look at Mister Etho Slab here being a coward," Bdubs sneered, his eyes narrowed. He wore the shit-eating smirk he knew bugged Etho the most and stood up straight. "What happened to the confident, risky guy I knew? The guy who throws diamonds in lava, the guy who eats spider eyes for lunch? I liked that Etho."

Etho saw this strategy coming from a mile away. He tucked the scaffolding into his inventory and began walking away. The Monstrosity was only a couple chunks away, after all.

"Go on, run away like you always do. Don't take risks in life. Let your life be boring. As long as you're comfortable, right?"

God, Bdubs knew how to make someone feel like an idiot.

Etho stopped, took a deep breath, then walked back to his place next to Bdubs.

Bdubs grinned down at him, and Etho couldn't believe he was one of his closest friends.

"Looks like you finally came around," Bdubs said, still standing on the scaffolding, still dangerously close to falling off. Loser. "Etho, I have the idea of a lifetime for you!"

Etho smiled. Whether that was genuine or a fear response, he wasn't sure. "I'm scared. What is it?"

"Uh… give me a moment."

Bdubs jumped off the scaffolding with a yelp that shredded any dignity he had left in Etho's presence. He turned his back to Etho as if that would give him any sort of privacy. If Etho tilted his head far enough, he could see Bdubs fumbling with white and black wool.

After enough time had passed for Etho to start doubting Bdubs was doing anything productive, Bdubs whipped around with a victorious shout.

“Aha! My newest creation!” Bdubs said, too smug for Etho to not be suspicious. He held up his “newest creation” proudly. “What do you think?”

It was… a shirt with the words “#1 Beef Lover”.

Etho turned and began walking away.

“Hey! Heyyy, wait up!” Bdubs called. He caught Etho’s arm before he could set off a rocket and spun him around to face him. “I know it looks stupid, but let me explain.”

Well, this better be the best explanation of his lifetime. He could humor him one more time.

"This better be good," Etho said.

“I know this seems like I’m just making fun of you,” Bdubs said. He paused, then snickered. “Well, I am making fun of you. But it’s more than that! You see, beef is both a food and a person, so the shirt is ambiguous if you want it to be. But when Beef sees it and asks, you can turn on the full Etho charm!"

Etho stared blankly.

"Fine, be like that. I'll explain it differently. It's basically a giant hint while still giving you enough plausible deniability to get yourself out of conversations you don't wanna be in."

That was true. This was the equivalent of installing a big neon sign in the shopping district that read, “I’VE LOVED YOU FOR YEARS”, only there was a way to retreat if Etho didn’t feel this was a good idea.

That and he could just take off the shirt. He didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him earlier.

So maybe Bdubs had a point. This was out of his comfort zone, sure, but that was the point of the whole exercise. If nothing else, it was a chance to preview how his feelings would be regarded.

“I can’t believe I’m going along with this,” Etho said, taking the shirt.

Bdubs spoke when Etho was halfway through pulling the shirt over himself. “I can’t believe you’re going along with it either. Really, I can’t believe you told me about this at all. You’ve never really been, you know, a feelings sort of guy.”

Etho huffed and brushed off lingering wool strings. For a hastily made shirt, it wasn’t poor quality at all. If nothing else, it was a comfortable shirt to wear only in the confines of his base. “I don’t know if I should thank you for this or not.”

Bdubs leaned in, eyes sparkling and grin smugger than ever.

“... You know what? Just for that, no.”

“Oh, come on!”

As Bdubs huffed and whined about Etho never being thankful for his help, Etho took a seat on the grass floor with his arms crossed, nodding along to whatever Bdubs was saying now.

He still felt like the same person. Even with a stupid, childish shirt, he was still the same person.

  *

  And of course, the first person to see him in the embarrassing attire happened to be the second worst candidate.

“Etho? What’re you wearing?” Cleo snickered.

Etho swallowed his pride and turned towards her in all his glory. “A present from Bdubs.”

“In what world did Bdubs think that was a good present to give you?”

“You tell me.”

They had met in front of the shopping district’s main Nether portal, Etho leaving to end his day and Cleo coming through to begin her day. They had shared a moment of awkward eye contact before Cleo’s gaze drifted down to the words on his shirt, and that was when Etho knew there was no way he’d live this down for the rest of his time on this server.

“So,” Cleo said, a couple sputters of laughter escaping her despite her efforts to keep her amusement sealed.

“So.”

“So… is there something you need to be telling someone?”

They both knew what she meant by that. But if Etho was having a bad day, there was no way he wasn’t dragging someone down with him.

“No, I don’t think so,” Etho said, careful to keep his tone light and nonchalant. “Why? Is there something you need to be telling someone?”

“No, of course not. I was just thinking… that shirt is quite peculiar, isn’t it?”

“Admittedly, yes.”

“So… maybe you need something to match with that.”

Okay, Etho saw where this was going.

Etho narrowed his eyes, feeling his mouth tug up into a helpless smirk.

Cleo smiled back.

“You won’t. Come on, Cleo, you’re better than that?”

“Am I? Am I really?”

When Cleo rushed to slap down a crafting table right in the middle of the road, Etho knew she was, in fact, not better than that.

But what was he to do at this point? He had already indulged Bdubs enough, pushed himself out of his comfort zone, indulged himself in going along with shenanigans. He could walk away, but where was the fun in that?

"Go on, run away like you always do. Don't take risks in life. Let your life be boring. As long as you're comfortable, right?" was what Bdubs had said to him. And as much shit Etho gave him all the time, he was usually right about matters of the heart.

Fuck it. Go big or go home.

It didn't take long after that realisation for Cleo to finish whatever she was up to. And although Etho knew he would go along with it, that didn't mean he would like it.

She held something behind her back, and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. He definitely was not liking this.

“So, I made you something to match that shirt,” Cleo said. She pulled out a mask from behind her. If Etho squinted hard enough, he could make out arrows pointing towards the mouth and words reading “Beef kiss here”—

Suddenly, Etho regretted his decisions.

It must’ve shown on his face, because Cleo burst out laughing.

“How’d you even know about that?” Etho murmured.

“You mean besides the shirt?” Cleo scoffed. Then she offered him a more sympathetic hand on the shoulder. “It’s not very hard to tell when you follow him around like a baby duckling.”

“I do not—”

Cleo tossed him the mask, smiling when he moved to catch it. “Wear it or don’t, that has no bearing on me. But, you know… you’re both my friends. I’d like to see you two be happy in the next century.”

Etho stopped at that.

As cheeky as she had been, it was borne of love. All the hermits did what they did out of love for their environment, for their world, for each other. He should respect that.

Not like he had any pride to lose anyway. This shirt was already embarrassing enough.

So after Cleo bid him a goodbye and disappeared into the shopping district, Etho swapped the masks, feeling his confidence minute by minute.

  *

  Oh, god, Etho had forgotten he was supposed to work on the gaming district with Tango.

“So,” Tango said, his lips pursed in a way Etho knew he was holding back laughter. “Whatcha wearing there, Etho?”

“Bdubs’s fault,” Etho said, pointing at his shirt. Then he pointed up at his mask. “Cleo’s fault.”

“Ah, right, right. You mind if you, like… turn around for a second?”

Etho sighed and spun around. Behind him, he heard Tango snickering. Never a good sign.

“Okay,” Tango said. “You can turn around.”

Etho turned around, only to see Tango holding up a flag with the words “Vintagebeef my beloved” stitched in.

Tango grinned.

Sometimes the hermits teased out of love. Other times, the hermits just wanted to watch the world burn.

Etho sighed and took the flag.

  *

Hearing someone calling for his attention in the distance was nothing new. Hearing Beef calling for his attention in the distance was nothing new. What was new, however, was this ridiculous get-up he now sorely regretted.

Etho had assumed he was safe in the confines of his base, but not even the Monstrosity could save him from the sheer terror coursing through him when Beef landed in front of him in the lilypad room.

“Hell of a landing,” Beef said with a flinch.

“Yeah, you’re getting too old for this,” Etho snickered.

And for a moment when Beef shot him a glare, Etho was content to forget about his giant crush being visible at all angles.

But only for a moment. Life had a way of working out like that.

“Listen, I’m not here to get called old,” Beef said. He huffed and brushed the dirt off his apron. “I’m here to talk to you. It’s about something important.”

Etho’s blood ran cold.

He didn’t know why he was so surprised at this turn of events. He had gone around all day wearing what was essentially an enormous hi-lite sign reading, “I LOVE YOU, BEEF.” He shouldn’t have expected any different, yet fear gripped him anyway, and he found himself unable to breathe for a moment. Then again, Beef had always been one to leave him breathless.

“So,” Beef said, clearing his throat. Then he hesitated. “Okay, you have to promise not to hate me first.”

This was it. This was where he got rejected, and after two hours of sitting on the floor, he’d throw all these ridiculous clothes and accessories into a lava pit.

“I could never hate you,” Etho said. Because it was true; the thought of hating Beef was as foreign as the idea of ever trusting Bdubs, Cleo, or Tango with anything ever again.

Bastards. But this wasn’t their fault. At the very least, it was quick closure.

“Okay, so, um…” Beef took a deep breath and looked away, holding his upper arm. His face was tinged just the slightest bit red. “Etho, I’ve had a crush on you for a while now.”

What?

What?

Why the hell would—

“Are you kidding me?” Etho said.

Beef flinched at that. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just… needed to get it out there. Been trying to for weeks, honestly.”

“Beef.”

“... Yes?”

Etho opened then shut his mouth.

Where did he even begin with this? How was his crush so obvious that apparently the entire server was in on it before Beef was? How had he gone an entire freakin’ day in a stupid shirt, a stupid mask, carrying a stupid flag without Beef noticing? No, how had Beef flown into his base and greeted him without noticing? Was he blind? Was he illiterate? The man knew ancient Galactan, yet he couldn’t read four words on a piece of fabric?

“Look at me,” Etho said.

Slowly, hesitantly, Beef raised his gaze. “What?”

“Read… Read the words. The words on my clothes.”

Silence.

“Oh,” Beef said, the dreariness peeling off him. His arm dropped, and his back straightened. “Oh! Where’d you get those?”

“I didn’t get them, they were kinda forced on me,” Etho said. “Bdubs said I needed to be more clear with my feelings and made me the shirt, then Cleo and Tango thought it’d be a great idea to join in.”

“... Oh. And how long have you been wearing that?”

“The whole day.”

“The whole day?”

“The whole day.”

Beef paused, then laughed. “Man, it took me long enough, right? Sorry for making you wait that long, but I’ve been waiting for ten years.”

He’d been waiting. For ten years.

Then it set in.

Etho blinked, his heart stuttering and face burning. “Wait, you just… you liked me for that long?”

“I mean, yeah,” Beef said. “Everyone said I was an idiot, so I thought it was kinda obvious.”

“I’ve been waiting for that long! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Etho fell silent, his brain still fighting to catch up with recent events.

Beef liked him. Beef liked him. It was a childish crush by all means, but Etho had never been ashamed of that.

Beef liked him. That was all that mattered.

Etho tugged his mask farther up his face and set his forehead on Beef’s shoulder. He couldn’t help his smile when Beef hugged him closer.

“I can’t believe you like me,” Etho murmured, whispering for his heart to be still.

“I… This is where I’d say the same thing, but I can’t believe you really went around like that the whole day.”

Oh. Right. He had three people to get revenge on.

“Yeah,” Etho said. “Me neither.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

DUDE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! IT'S SO GOOD!! ALSHKWHDJAVSSHS I CANT BELEIVE YOU MADE SOMTHING SO GOOD OUT OF A SHIT POST. I WILL TRESURE THIS FOREVER. IT IS IN MY MOUTH!!! Now I have to create a thing for you 🔫

[vermillioncrown]

I said I was going to write you an essay to make you question what I do with my free time, and I follow through on my promises! So, making my case for Jiang Cheng, as well as some comments on why I think ot3 is cute but ultimately wouldn't work. Obvious caveat that we haven't had all the major character interactions and canon changes in dbd yet, so my opinion is subject to change according to how the story develops. I talk a big game but I actually don't mind who zyx ends up w bc I know it'll happen due to Character Development. Our thoughts on romance are fairly similar.

Why wangxian+zyx doesn't (yet?) convince me:

I'd have to really, really be sold that it isn't, in fact, wangxian+zyx but instead wwx/lwj/zyx, and I think zyx would too. You recently made a post on zyx feeling like an intruder in their relationship, and it would take so much work for wangxian to convince her that she wasn't an afterthought, not bc they think so abt her but bc wangxian is basically the founding principle of the canon she's inhabiting and girl can only handle so many mind-blowing paradigm shifts and that quota is filled by transmigrating. I also feel like wangxian have so much work to do w themselves in canon before they're ready to be in a relationship, and asking zyx to join in is like asking them to do a lot of emotional heavy lifting on their behalf. Like, she knows all their hangups, and she might be able to help one (1) romantic partner w that stuff but two is asking kind of a lot? Also she just knows too much abt them. She knows too much abt everybody, but them in particular. (zyx's reaction to the Horny Gripping, anybody?) Also, that insight seems to be a major reason why she even knows how to interact with them/interpret their behavior, and she's still baffled half the time lmao.

Not to mention, these two are Dramatic. Like, they are That Couple, and are prone to dramatic displays of love and romance and great personal sacrifice and zyx is way too lowkey and easily embarrassed for that shit. (zyx, if someone did the equivalent of giving the whole cultivation world the middle finger on her behalf: First of all, I would never put you in that situation, and second of all *perishes*) (zyx, if someone proposed in public and made graphic comments abt wanting to bang her: I don't know you. Also, I'm going to beat you to death.) (Alternatively, these are the two with enough combined chaos energy that they're the ones most likely to find out abt zyx's reincarnation/transmigration bit.)

Now About Jiang Cheng:

Of course, he is my bestest angry boi and I'm not-at-all-secretly in love w your Lan Wenhui au, so I'm biased. And let's be real, their relationship would have to have elements of politics. But I love their dynamic and how they seem to intuitively understand each other and have similar responses to situations. I don't think they'd have wangxian level Romance, but I also don't think zyx is built for that. (Not a criticism, bc I'm certainly not either.) But I think they'd have an excellent sense of comradery and companionship and respect, and would definitely be a cultivation world power couple bc they're both just so damn competent. Also they'd be roasting everyone the entire time. (Basically, I think they'd make each other laugh, and that's my gold standard.)

I think they're similar enough that they can understand each other without letting their worst qualities and habits dominate? Like, they both deal with feelings of inadequacy and are hyper competent to compensate, and can come off cold but definitely aren't. zyx wouldn't let jc get too caught up in his own head and family feelings, etc., and jc would see zyx on a research bender and be like 'eat food, you gremlin'. (He grew up w wwx, he knows.) jc is also p charismatic to my mind, in a way we both see and don't see in canon, mostly subtextual in how he rallies Jiang Sect during the war and rebuilds it. You don't do all of that solely through the power of being an angry asshole everyone's scared of. Also, jc has a major thing for ppl being loyal, and if zyx and he were to become an item, ie for political reasons, I think she definitely would be and I think he'd find that enormously attractive. And I think having someone on his side who shares his goals would really allow jc to grow and mature in ways that zyx would find appealing. (Returned confidence and trust in the other person?) Plus, imagine zyx/jc interacting w jzx/jyl, I feel like there are so many opportunities for comedy gold.

Idk I like some of the other pairings suggested--whoever put forth jzx/jyl/zyx is Big Brained. Anyways I've written some and would love to chat w you if you ever want to, and also maybe someday I'll write up my thought on lxc or Mianmian as potential love interests. (I feel like I could really be into something w Mianmian 😉)

if i questioned what anyone did with their spare time, it's "glass houses and cast stones" on this end. thank you for following through, love reading write ups that prove i've dragged others into this hellhole. it's especially nice when a reader catches onto what i'm trying to convey in the fic, and agrees (two braincells in resonant frequency across the land).

=

on wangxian+ot3:

you've brought up something that very few have brought up before, even as a joke. like, haha yeah we know zyx's a potty-mouthed transmigrator, but the emotional and mental toll on someone to be constantly reminded they don't belong, they don't fit in, there's nothing they can do about that, and they cannot be themselves wholly... it's a lot. there's only so many braincells left to do other mental heavy-lifting. and yes, zyx is willing to handle most things as they come, but they tend to establish ground rules and assumptions before operating, and wangxian is one of those gr&as, thought immutable.

they're also on a different level of emotional maturity than wangxian (for as much of a mess zyx is), there is self-awareness and understanding that sets them apart from the teenagers around them (let alone the emotional messes that are wangxian). it'd be too imbalanced, one person helping the other person develop to their level rather than mutual growth (not saying it can't happen. it's currently unlikely). and knowing too much about a person, not some faceless character - to know someone, move onto liking them, respecting them; the 'DISGUSTANG' response is played up for laughs, but that's masquerading the guilt/discomfort one would feel when unintentionally violating another's boundaries. and it's even worse bc the affected party doesn't know it.

(i'd like to argue on zyx's behalf/my behalf that the Customer Service/Professional at Work face is good enough to interact with most people, and there's a reason ppl irl ask me to read others to filth. the bafflement is only when the interpretation must involve the self.)

(in a "fuck, dude - i exist in other people's thoughts???")

the Drama is def another con in the wangxian category. nice to read about, but don't you fucking dare bring that into the house. each reaction you've written is 100% true: it's more like zyx would never want to put their partner in the position of performative displays of affection and romance (bc it means they've fucked up themselves, and it's time to exit life). the reflexive reaction to raunchy declarations would likely be a bellow and a punch (the thoughts are as you've written).

but, yes - the gravitational pull of wangxian's chaos -> they're getting into the business of those they hold dear, whether the other party likes it or not -> it will probably happen. i answered that 'potential crossover ask' before, and that's the case where wangxian are the only mfers with the least responsibilities such that they'll get into a mess w zyx that will bust that secret wide open.

(also, toying w a side-plot during ssc, involving demonic cultivation + inquiry)

=

on jiang cheng:

it's no surprise - from the lwh au and zyx's thoughts in dbd, jc is the character they identify most with. not in a 'aww little meow meow' but a 'uh the reflection in this mirror is... i don't want to think about this bye'. i'm happy you like what little i have on their dynamic in dbd so far; it's difficult to get them to interact in depth at this point of the fic bc it's in the nature of both jc and zyx.

if they do get together, it's as you said: not wangxian level of true love romance, and neither are built for it. it'd be like the lwh au, except less funny and much messier (the fact that wwx has a crush on his shidi's ??? being one thing, and the fact that jc has to consider his position/appearance rather than pursue romance or even consider zyx a romance option). it'd have to develop from strong friendship first, which is exactly like your thoughts on comradery + companionship + respect. a partnership on multiple fronts.

it's two girlbosses dating each other.

(i def have more interactions with the two building up via snark, and yes - how can you date someone that doesn't make you laugh? minimum requirements right there, you have to find each other hilarious)

also true on similar but different: they deal with their fixations and hurts in different ways. there's always the possibility that two people like this would start a cold war of posturing that'd keep them from reconciling, but the little differences of the sources of their issues/how they manage their issues gives room for coexistence. very much agree w your examples.

jc has to be charismatic - not only did he rebuild the jiang, he did so when he was on the losing side, and it'd probably looked better for his recruits to stay out of cultivator business and hope it'd blow past. he has yet to pull out the jc charm on zyx yet. it's not as bombastic as wwx's, but it's something.

while zyx would never say their defining trait is loyalty, they are stubborn as fuck. "fuck it i'm not doing this" *does it anyway* "i don't need to be here" *is still here* <- the thing w shuangfeng all through part 1. so yeah, if they deliberately chose to stand with jc, it will likely be followed through to the end. jc doesn't have many people that are straightforward and stalwart with him, and as shady as zyx is they aren't that complicated of a person. at least, i don't think so lol, but i 'might' be biased.

(i tend to introduce myself as a 'single-celled organism'; like, i'm kinda shady but only for fun)

you want the most awkward family dinners, don't you? unfortunately for jc, it's a case of "we're best friends that were so homie we dated siblings" when it comes to jzx&zyx.

jc & jyl eyeing each other from across the table like 😶😶

(i do not know how that type of interaction would work out, and i will leave the future a mystery)

=

wrapping up:

i would love to talk more about jzx/jyl/zyx throuple bc it's so galaxy-brained, but bc jzx is instrumental in the plot near-future, i do not want to spoil anything until the things have happened.

when more lxc interactions happen (some upcoming in the discussion conference, a lot in the ssc), i'd love to see it.

BWEW BWEW BWEW!!!!!

[LUO QINGYANG ROUTE - prerequisites fulfilled]

^ if people find things (if you find things) in dbd, she's now available to be discussed :)

=

also, from pm's:

> "Ooh another pt of interest that can apply however you like: zyx doesn't *trust* love as a sentiment on its own. She's like 'feelings? How unfortunate, how can I get out of this.' I don't know if she would be able to view romantic love as lasting and therefore worth investing in seriously unless there was other stuff underpinning it. But reliability and competence? Mutual respect? I feel like that would go much further to winning her over, would be what makes her catch feelings."

< "you fucking got it"

< "like, zyx is not one to deny feelings exist. but that's a whole separate animal."

< "you can't get assholes off your lawn and away from your sect through ~true love~"

> "Lmao zyx viewing their emotions with a 😒 'that's a little irritating but whatever'"

< "rational zyx to emotional zyx "we'll get through this""

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Big Baby Sick Baby~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

@zuffer-weird-girl​  I def wanted to post this waaay earlier but I was just too beat to do it. I would like to contribute to the sick Kai headcanon pool asap lol)

One of the main reasons you weren’t having/adopting kids anytime soon was because sometimes you were stuck seemingly raising a grown man yourself. How unfortunate for Pops who asks you for grandkids on the daily! You’d need to put it on hold especially considering the fact that Kai was not as mature as he let off to be all the time. One of the times was now.

You stood with your hand on your side while the other held a bottle of semi thick, smooth liquid to be drank. You tapped your foot impatiently as he grumbled and looked up at you. “I’m not taking that stuff so you can piss off immediately.” He wasn’t usually this blunt with you...well not more than you’re already used to of course, but today was different. Today he was sick and by God it reflected on his expressions, appearance, and actions as well. He was sluggish, slow and bumbling. It was shocking to most men to see him make so many mistakes. On top of that, he had refused to eat or drink along with announcing a headache as well. His eyes were lackluster and held their share of baggage underneath, creating dark circles. Even his skin was noticeably more pale today. Anyone with eyes could see the Capo was sick but in case this wasn’t enough to see with eyes, you could hear it in the way he spoke with a rasp and by the various couching and sneezing fits as well. “Chisaki please, I’m begging you here.” You pleaded with him and he scoffed from his desk. He paused trying to do his work and look up at you with enough annoyance that you would’ve thought he was blaming you for this. “I’m fine damn it. I’m not sick, I can’t be sick. Look at all the precautions I take.” He waved his hands dramatically and you sighed. “Kai please...everyone here knows you’re sick. I can tell too. Not to be rude but you literally look like shit right now. Can you please just cooperate just this once? I’ll give you anything you want if you just come with me.” You tried to negotiate/bargain with him but he wasn’t having it. “And neglect my work? Absolutely not, kiss my ass.” This would be the equivalent of a child refusing bedtime. 

Well fine. If he was going to act like a child then you would have to treat him like one...

“Kai Chisaki if you don’t get your ass up and come with me to the surface I WILL TELL POPS.” He paused for a moment and thought this though. Pops would most definitely tell all the men to halt the business for today and send EVERYONE home. Pops may have passed the Hassaikai crown to him, but the old man was still behind the scene taking over from time to time after self proclaimed retirement. Pops would also be the one to come down to his office and grab him by the ear and literally yank him up to the surface. He sighed and slowly stood up, reluctance clear by the way he glared at you. “Fine.” He grumbled while shutting down his operations and calling it a day. You breathed a silent sigh in relief as he trailed behind you to the upper layer and to your bedroom. Once inside, he leaned against the door and watched as you prepared the bed for him. “Don’t just look at me, silly! Go on, go get in the shower. Drop this on the floor when you get in there, okay?” You reached into a plastic grocery bag and handed him a vapo-shower tablet packet. “When did you get this?” He asked with genuine curiosity. “Hmmm? Oh! I actually noticed you earlier this morning and how you were behaving. I went out to the store real quick and picked up some important stuff because I planned on getting you in here today. Now go shower.” You kissed his cheek and he complied. Once out of the shower, he dressed in his pajamas and laid on the bed where you prepared a spot for him. By now you had the lights off with the curtains and blinds closed. There were some dim nightlights glowing in their usual spot, and the humidifier was running as well. 

His tired eyes carefully watched you dig through the plastic bag and pull out various items: a thermometer with disposable sleeves/covers, chicken noddle soup, ginger ale, saltines, a set of three simple face towels, aloe infused fuzzy socks, and some unfrozen popsicles. Not to mention the liquid medicine sitting next to what looked like ibuprofen. “My angel, have you become my health care provider?” He pathetically flirted with you as you rolled your eyes. “Oh hush. Even if I did, you couldn’t be flirting with me like this in here anyway. Doctors can’t have relationships with patients...right?” He chuckled at your pondering and you looked down at him with a smile. “Enough of that haha. Let’s try this real quick, okay?” You reached for his lips with the thermometer and he complied. His temp wasn’t too bad. He was running a low grade fever but knowing how rare it is for Chisaki of all people to get sick, of course he would be feeling like dying at the moment. You started by pouring the grape flavored medicine onto a spoon and holding it towards. “No, I-” as soon as he opened his mouth to deny it, you shoved it inside and he was forced to swallow. His face afterward was priceless. “That tasted like absolute shit. Please never give it to me again or else.” He threated and you rolled your eyes. “Or else what? What can you do, huh? I don’t work for the medicine company that makes it. Now be quiet and take a few ibuprofen.” You smiled at him and handed him the pills. He swallowed them down dry before letting his head flop back down onto the pillow with a groan. He took a few long blinks when suddenly there was a comfy, cold, damp rag on his head forehead. He wiggled his toes and realized the socks were on his feet as well. His sleepy eyes scanned the room for you when suddenly the bedroom door opened. 

“Heeeey yoooou. You finally woke up.” You spoke softly as you entered the room with a tray. “W-what?” He was thoroughly confused but also disoriented from his little nap apparently. “Yeah you fell asleep for a little while so I went downstairs to prepare the food stuff I got you. I also went to get a bottle of water.” You rounded the bed to take a seat next to him. By now his hair was disheveled a tiny bit but he looked to be a little better. He would still need to hydrate and get plenty more rest, but for now he would need food. “I got saltines and chicken noodle soup since it would be more filling and also easier to keep down. The ginger ale should help with an upset tummy and look there. The popsicles are finally frozen and I got your favorite, the blue one. The coolness should help soothe you a bit.” He nodded and slowly sat up, moving the damp towel to the bedside table and holding the tray on his lap. He began eating and his eyes watered just a bit. “Kai what’s wrong, is the food not staying down? I can bring you the trashcan to puke in real quick!” You almost stood up but he stopped you just in time. “The food is just fine. I suppose I’m just extremely thankful to have you taking care of me like this. I’m grateful to you, and I love you my angel.” He looked up at you with such emotion in those eyes that you knew it to be nothing but the truth. “I love you too Kai. Finish your food and get some more rest so you can get better soon. Okay?” You wanted so badly to sneak another kiss on those cheeks but you knew the risk of couples getting sick and continuously passing it to each other. 

He finished his food and drinks before slowly laying back down and bundling himself in the soft blankets, sighing with glee. “Get well soon, love.” You stroked his hair gently until the sound of faint snoring could be heard.  

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

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[liketheinferno2]

Like any other series in the world, FFXIV does have it's ups and downs. No matter what though, I think you'll find things to love and enjoy in Stormblood and i'm personally quite excited to hear your thoughts as you go through it.

Truly the WORST I've ever seen FFXIV get was still really good for an MMO. I feel like fandom types tend to get skewed certain ways depending on stuff they've been into before but after digging in the ground for cohesive characters and story in shit like Borderlands and Far Cry for years of my life I'm like hey it seems like Final Fantasy is actually a big budget popular video game series that is good. Who'd have thought THAT possible.

Nier was similar for me, just, holy shit this game is narratively complete. I don't have to feel like a suckered-in narratively-cucked idiot for expecting it to satiate my artistic mind. For so long I was the Genuinely Expects Queer Rep In The MCU Guy of gamers and now I'm playing stuff where it's like the writing was taken seriously as a piece of art, god fucking forbid, y'know?

Excuse me hijacking this sweet ask to rant about vidya gaem fanwank but I just... I enjoy Final Fantasy very very much. Generally I prefer to play stuff that HAS that wealth of content and fidelity that you can only get from a big studio but I feel like that usually comes at a cost to tight writing and emotional impact. It'd be like, common practice to discuss what parts of the story we'd "fix" or delete entirely, to go over and over what parts we hate about the thing we're ostensibly enjoying, but I'm no longer someone who's like "fuck canon I rewrite my own better version" BECAUSE THE GAME IS ALREADY GOOD. THE GAME IS GOOD!!! GOT DAMN!!!!!!!!

Like fuck me I'm thinking about Estinien a lot right now as you can probably tell but it's because I've never had a game crack into that feeling this hard before in my life. We've all met this guy. Angry difficult traumatised person who you know is in a bad situation and maybe they could get better if you could just help them out, but they don't want to leave. In real life you probably cannot save this guy, but this is Final Fantasy!

And even then they don't make it easy, the consequences for people giving up on Estinien are fucking DIRE, but it's the way this story takes you as low as you can go before letting you crawl out of there together. The process of getting you to think of a certain person as a partner or best friend or like-family to your protagonist and then taking them out in a way that makes you understand for a moment why Estinien and Nidhogg have fallen so far in grief and anger themselves. ..

And what I really love about FFXIV is it gives you a space for recovery and reflection, it's not throwing tragedy at you just for spectacle or shock. When someone dies, you mourn. When you retrieve Estinien from what was essentially a kidnapping, he's in the hospital for a while. Shit like Aymeric reaching out almost desperately for companionship after the events of Heavensward and the way they build such a protective relationship between the player and Alphinaud is like there's so much CARE in this, they take feelings so completely seriously and really that's what you need to do in a game like this. When the literal situations are all JRPG levels of absurd nonsense it's like you either go hard on the feelings or you've lost me.

There's been a big push in recent years that art has to SAY SOMETHING or TACKLE THINGS but that attitude can often be antithetical to stories that are effective and cathartic and that feel genuine. The other thing I like about FFXIV is it's weird and atypical fantasy in a lot of places but it doesn't do any of this in service of defying or subverting the tropes to make a statement or whatever the fuck. You can just have weird stuff like the GO LITTLE BETA BOY GO thing with the Tias, or that their elf-equivalent is the racial majority instead of humans, or the massive height differences any time you interact with anybody, or that the Lalafell are the little gnome wombat ruling capitalist class, without knowing that it's only weird because it's trying so hard to not be normal.

I gotta stop before I carry on forever but there's so many little good things in FFXIV that (along with the overwhelmingly caring tone of the entire game) make it a very special experience; ESPECIALLY in comparison to the stuff I used to play, so I'm pretty much enjoying everything it throws at me. :D

[mcbride]

Daryl Dixon + romantic gestures

Daryl’s always taking care of people, but there’s no one he takes better care of than Carol. He’s always doing little things for her, some of them completely platonic with no ulterior motive than to help, support and comfort his BFF Carol. although on some not so rare occasions, there’s no mistaking that some of his actions can be interpreted for what they really are - romantic gestures. 

Daryl Dixon is actually a pretty sensible/sensitive guy, which coming from someone with an abusive past and complete lack of experience when it comes to relationships and expressing his feelings, is shockingly surprising. Plus, it’s the damn apocalypse, there’s no time to court a woman, but consciously or not, that’s exactly what Daryl’s been doing for the past decade. I really think sometimes he’s completely clueless he is actually doing it until he becomes too self-aware, showing some vulnerability, shyness and even awkwardness. However those romantic gestures just come naturally to him when he’s around Carol.

The most painfully obvious romantic gestures by Daryl Dixon after the jump...

The shoulder massage

Carol is uncomfortable, her shoulder hurts, and without thought Daryl simply offers to massage it for her. He’s so distracted by the ease the two now have with each other that he only notices the intimacy boundary he just crossed when Carol intensely looks back at him and smiles. “Pretty romantic,” she comments. Yes. Yes, it is. Daryl did that. He becomes aware of exactly what he is doing and what it could mean, but since he’s not ready for any of that, he backtracks. Carol’s teasing jokes aren’t unwelcome but he really doesn’t know how to respond beyond the cute, smiling “STAHP.”

The sanctuary hug

As soon as he realizes it’s Carol approaching the group, Daryl completely forgets himself, everybody else around them and runs to literally sweep her off her feet. This is the first time Daryl actively seeks physical contact on a deeper level with another human being on the show. It’s a huge turning point. Do I need to say more?

The protective/chivalrous act

Daryl always acts as a protector of those who need the most, but he subtly and unconsciously acts extremely protective of Carol even knowing she is damn capable of protecting herself. Daryl will have Carol’s back on every occasion and physically stand between her and potential danger, like when they first encountered Father Gabriel or when Noah put her in danger. He will offer her food/water, make sure she is sleeping and she is ok. He may act like a crude rude redneck around anyone else (pissing in the corner, manhandling people, beastly chugging spaghetti), but not around Carol. There’s so many examples of Daryl continuously doing the apocalypse equivalent of opening the door for her. Daryl’s chivalry is reserved for Carol. She may know him better than anyone else, but he really wants her to see the best version of himself.

The water jugs (part II of the chivalrous act)

Yep, Daryl’s got no game whatsoever, but he did try to be smooth, showing Carol that the redneck can be a real gentleman, and that’s progress. Even though, Daryl is already carrying as many water jugs as one can safely carry, he offers to take one of Carol’s too. There’s no logic to this gesture that ends with Daryl facepalming in embarrassment when he lets one of his jugs fall out of his hand to land at Carol’s feet. Carol’s face is priceless. He gets a teasing smile and probably should take that as a win considering her state of mind in that moment.

The food tray with flower (part III of the chivalrous act)

Something as simple as leaving someone a tray of food with a flower would have been a perfectly casual act. But we’re talking about Merle Dixon’s brother, the one who considered himself a nobody before the world went to shit. Daryl, the guy who eats raw squirrel/possum with his bare hands, took the time to pick a flower to decorate the tray of food he carefully left at Carol’s door. Is there anything more romantic in the middle of the damn apocalypse ffs? I still can’t believe we were robbed of watching Carol’s expression when she realized he had done that for her right before she’d tease him about it. But Carol wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to voice her appreciation for these small grand gestures.

The compliments/teasing

When Carol needs an ego boost, Daryl is there to remind her she’s a good shot, she saved them all at Terminus, and she’s got a whole lot more to offer, but her place is with them/the group. She is needed. He has been slowly learning to tease/flirt with Carol through the years. Daryl, too pragmatic for the frivolous things of the past, lets Carol know she looks good in pink. He’s also quick to let her know her soccer mom style is so not her. “You look ridiculous.” Recently, they have crossed into teen love territory with their competitive flirty games of kill the walker or hit the can, while relentlessly taunting each other. This new playfulness between them resulted in an exchange of gifts- the friendship bracelet and lucky acorns, - they obviously both cherish.

The unconditional support

There’s absolutely nothing Daryl won’t do for Carol - from babysitting her kid to letting her know he could and would never hate her no matter what. Daryl will defend Carol against Rick, Tyreese, Gabriel, Magna, and whoever else. If that wasn’t enough, he was also there for her, holding her during the two worst moments of her life - losing both of her kids, Sophia and Henry. And he continues to stay by her side through anything and everything, even when she’s on a reckless revenge mission. “I’m the one you tell. Me.” Daryl wants to help her, but Carol is not able to open up to him and yet it does not stop him. “I wanna be there for you.” After Carol crossed every line and pushed all of his limits and you think he’s had enough, Daryl is still reassuring her everything is gonna be alright. “You still got me.” This is LOVE, not platonic love, it’s the ‘you are under my skin’ type of love that is forever.

The need to comfort

The skittish Daryl, who was afraid of any and all human contact when we first met him, is now completely gone. He’s grown so much and he’s finally in a position to provide emotional comfort and to express it through physical contact. He has done this with Judith and Connie too, but Daryl’s weakness (and strength) is Carol and her emotional well being is his priority. The best way he found to express this is to hug her whenever he feels like she needs it the most - from finding her at the savior’s compound, checking up on her at the creepy house in the woods, trying to bring her back to think about the future they can still have, to reassuring her he’ll always be there for her. Daryl is no longer shy about pulling her in for a big full body hug, and sometimes I wonder if he’s not doing it for his own sake too. I mean who can ever resist a teary eyed Carol!?!

The desire to spend time together

For someone who isn’t used to express his wishes/feelings, Daryl has been making an effort to let Carol know how much he enjoys spending time with her and her alone. He started with a timid “I don’t like not seeing you” to openly ask her to come home and tell he needs her to stay and not isolate herself again. “Otherwise I’ll have to punch holes in all them boats.” This quickly escalated when Carol suggested they could stop fighting and leave it all behind. The idea the two of them could just get on the bike and go, run away together, has been deeply seeded on Daryl’s mind and he alludes to it few times through the last season. “We have a future./New Mexico’s still out there.” Daryl is finally ready. Carol just needs to catch up.

[hello-nichya-here]

Zucest - Is It Really Flirting?

(Originally posted on AO3 as chapter 43 of Defending and Analysing Zucest)

@azdaema-does-art asked: So I think a big stumbling block for me with this ship is that I very much adhere to the reading of the show that holds:

Quasi-Seducer!Azula (as seen virtually anytime) and Quasi-Seducer!Zuko (as seen in "The Waterbending Scroll") are not actually expressions of desire from them. Rather, this is Zuko and Azula trying to be intimidating by modeling their behavior off their father (circling, personal-space-invading, low seductive tones, etc)

When actually trying to flirt neither Zuko nor Azula acts anything like that. When Zuko goes on that date with a girl in the Earth Kingdom, or Azula flirting with that guy on Ember Island, they're both awkward disasters.

I'd be curious to hear you address this. (Or point me to some awkward disaster!zucest fanfic.)

***

That is a really good point and I'm glad you brought it up. While I understand that reading of the show, I disagree with it slightly for a few reasons (beyond my own bias).

Need to be in control: No one can argue against the fact that neither Zuko nor Azula know how to have "normal", healthy relationships with others, mainly due to how unequal 99% of the relationships in the Fire Nation are since imposing your own will over someone else's has become part of their culture. Both Zuko and Azula accepted being treated like mere tools/punching bags by their father, Zuko was constantly insulting Iroh over the smallest things and Azula full on threatened Ty Lee's life to make her join her on her chase after her brother and the Avatar - both were scenarios where desire wasn't a factor at all (thought I know many fans that would like to think otherwise XD)

However, during The Beach, we saw how both of them try (and fail) to deal with romance. Zuko was extremelly paranoid that Mai was interested in another guy, for no real reason, and was constantly trying to intimidate her into either admiting to it or into saying she disliked the guy, even though she had clearly said she was completely indifferent to him. And Azula, after her kiss with Chan, decided, on her own and not giving a damn about his feelings on the matter, that not only would they be officially a couple, but that they'd dominate the earth together. Control is, more often than not, a major factor in all of their actions and relationships, so Azula wanting to intimidate Zuko in the bedroom scene (which she very much tried to do and succeeded at) doesn't automatically rule out the possibility of atraction.

Mixed feelings: While "I wanna fight/kill my sibling" is sort of these two default state, there are moments that show that they do have at least some positive feelings for each other. Zuko doesn't give a shit that Aang is going to kill Ozai, but seeing Azula falling "to her death" and then chained up and defeated after their Agni Kai quite clearly made him emotional, even if he tried to control himself. Azula's positive feelings for Zuko are so obvious I had to do an in length discussion of it in chapter 12 "Is Zucest just about sex?" Combine all of the conflicting emotions they have for each other with their need to control the other, and some scenes end up getting some connotations the writers weren't planning them to have... supposedly (I'll get into that in a bit)

Awareness and familiarity: Don't get me wrong, Zuko and Azula are two extremelly traumatized, socially awkward teenagers who have no idea how to flirt (or how to fit in with people their age) but we also need to take context into consideration, especiall when it comes to Zuko's date with Jin and Azula's interactions with Chan.

In Ba Sing Se, Zuko was outside of his comfort zone, away from home, in enemy territory, and so paranoid that he assumed Jin came into the tea shop so often because she knew they were Fire Nation, not because she had a crush on him or simply enjoyed their tea. And while he liked her and the date was nice, Zuko was very "stiff" and even looked a bit uncomfortable (not to say very uncomfortable) at some points - which is oddly simmilar to how he was acting during the bedroom scene (hell, Azula was quite clearly looking at him just like Jin did, as I pointed out in "The most important parallel in Avatar"). Finally, we cannot forget that, even though he was awkward as fuck during 90% of the night, Zuko did manage to do something kinda romantic by lighting up the place, meaning he isn't completely oblivious to the concept of flirting (which is proved by his relationship with Mai).

Now, when it comes to Azula, the poor girl has almost no idea how to flirt. Almost. Talking about Chan's sharp outfit shows she's got some of the basis down, like "say something nice" - the problem is that her concept of "nice" is very different than that of most people. She did sort of know what to do once Ty Lee gave her some tips... but she quickly reversed back to her regular ways - which once again shows that flirting/seduction has an element of control and intimidation for her. She probably doesn't always mean to act in ways that could be considered flirty, but that doesn't mean she is completely oblivious to the implications of, let's say, invading her brother's personal space and talking to him in a low tone while wearing nothing but a robe.

And since I mentioned Azula going back to what she knows, that leads us to another thing to take into account: the fact that Zuko and Azula quite literally knew each other their whole lives - meaning if they were to ever flirt with each other, it would probably look at least somewhat different than when they were out of their element. Azula was the one in control, so she was far more comfortable and confident than she had been with Chan, and Zuko was the one being intimidated, which explains why he kept his guard up. Once again, that "theory" is sort of confirmed if we compare how Zuko acted while flirting with Mai on The Headband versus how he tried to interact with her in The Beach - when he used a non-traditional, but very Mai-esque "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" he got her equivalent of an "I love you" when she told him she didn't hate him, but he tried to do more "normal" things like getting her a pretty shell it blew up on his face. He knows Mai since they were both kids, meaning he usually knows how to deal with her, just like Azula usually knows how to deal with him.  

Intensity: While a lot of Azula's behavior can be explained by her copying Ozai, we need to remember that there's only so much he could affect, especially since her way of "intimidating" Zuko was far more touchy and incestuous than his, and lasted a lot longer. Azula gets close to people when she's intimidating them (see how she toyed with Aang in The Drill), but not as close as she did with her brother. The sole exception to that being Sokka on The Day Of Black Sun - but that is on somewhat shaky ground despite the accidental sexual tension since the first time she got close to him she was being launched by the Dai Li and he just happened to be standing a little bellow the direction she was launched at, and the second time had him pinning her to the wall (which is in character since Sokka usually goes straight at his foes to intimidate them while fighting), and as soon as she had her firebending back she pushed him away. On top of that, she was trying to distract him, Aang and Toph, meaning he wasn't her focus at all, and she ignored him on all the other times their groups were facing each other.

With Zuko on the other hand, she was going full force, like I said on my analysis of the bedroom scene. She played coy, stared at him in a very intense, weird way, circled the pillar on her bed, stretched in front of him, got on his personal space touching his shoulder and chest, and bit her lip while talking basically purring her words. That is all a bit too much for me to believe it was just about intimidation. And the touching gets even more suspicious when you notice Azula does enjoy and is willing to give physical affection - she hugged both Mai and Ty Lee after seeing them again, pulled Ty Lee close while conforting her and apologizing for her harsh words at The Beach... and put her hand on Zuko's shoulder while saying he restored his own honor to reassure him after he was feeling bad for betraying his uncle.

Intention of the actors/writers/animators: Avatar is no stranger to parallels. It also isn't a stranger to adult themes/jokes, fanservice, and ship teasing. For instance, even thought they didn't end up together and were never canonically interested in each other, there was A LOT of hints/teases of Zutara - dude fucking took lightining to the heart for her.

Just like the writers and producers were aware of Zutara, Tokka and many, many other ships, they were also aware of Zucest and even jokingly shipped Azula and The Blue Spirit at a panel. The animators habit of sexualizing the characters speaks for itself, so I won't even go into that. Finally, Grey Delisle, Azula's voice actress is a Zucest shiper, has brought it up many times, asked people to send her fanart and fanfic of it, created the phrase "Zucest is best cest", and has full on said she voiced the scene as if Azula was trying to seduce Zuko,  - which regardless of whether or not the writers intended for the character to be doing, means that there is a very strong incest subtext to the scene and that, in a weird way, "Azula" herself confirmed her motives to act the way she did.

[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 3 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Here’s part 3 of the Marco’s Bauble story, posted last month on Patreon!

Finally, an appearance from Marco himself ^ ^

Contains mention of Marco x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

~~

Namur takes great pride in being a fishman in the Whitebeard Pirates.

Fishmen and merfolk are usually usually reluctant to join human-dominated organizations, and with good reason, given their long and painful history of suffering prejudice. And for those few who do feel the call of pirating, joining Jinbe and the Sun Pirates to be among their own kind is a natural and comfortable choice.

Jinbe's a good friend, and Namur has nothing but the highest respect for him and Aladine, but he's already chosen who to follow.

Pops, who stood up and protected Fishman island with just one word. Pops, who lets them keep his flag on the island without any tribute, which not even the world government would allow. Pops, who personally brings the wrath of colossal waves and quaking earth every time humans try to bring trouble to the undersea oasis.

Namur knew that he'd be alone among humans, but he trusts Pops, and trusts those who follow him and protect his home alongside him. And given everything he's done for Fishman Island, Namur feels it only fitting that fishmen be represented on the crew.

And so Namur became the first Fishman to join the Whitebeard pirates, but he wasn't the last. By the time Namur had been raised to the rank of 8th Division Commander, a handful of others had joined, along with a number of other people from various tribes considered not quite fully human. Some minks, some longarms, even one guy from a sky island.

In a crew as massive as theirs, diversity isn't surprising, and Pops has ensured they've never been alienated. Even so, the 8th Division became a natural gathering spot for those seeking others who are also a little different, and Namur's damn proud of his versatile, unique division that can handle missions that no other group can.

Namur's happiest aboard the Moby, and it's his one true home now. But at the same time, after spending so much time away from Fishman island, he sometimes misses his birth homeland and culture.

Which is why it feels like reverse culture shock when something familiar appears in front of him with no warning.

Like right now. On Marco's desk.

"Uh," Namur says eloquently, reports in his hand forgotten, eyes glued to the Thing that Marco's now wrapping in what looks like a letter, written in Marco's unmistakable elegant cursive.

"Sorry, I'll be done in a second, yoi," Marco says, and Namur freezes, realizing he must have intruded on possibly a very private moment--except Marco doesn't seem particularly bothered.

Well, even if Marco doesn't mind, Namur still feels awkward, and forces himself to avoid looking at the now-wrapped Thing. He really feels like he just saw something he shouldn't have. Had he knocked before coming in? He thought he had. He thought Marco had told him to come in, but now he's not so sure, because dropping by Marco's office to hand in reports is so habitual. Namur begins to sweat.

"Alright, what is it?"

Marco turns around, and he's wearing those glasses he always wears when he has to pour over documents for hours, that somehow make the legendary Phoenix look less like a terrifying warrior and more like an exhausted secretary. He's wearing his usual open shirt, Pops's mark proudly emblazoned on his chest, and his head still looks like a tropical fruit, and his face still looks kinda stoned. So, the usual Marco. Nothing amiss.

But maybe he's just hiding it. Humans can be so hard to read at times, and Marco wears his poker face better than most. Even though Namur's been his crew mate for roughly twenty years now, he still can't really see through it. Namur fidgets, palms feeling slick.

"Reports from the Eighth's last mission?" Marco prompts, and Namur flinches because oh, he'd been staring.

"Uh, yeah," he forces out, and raises his arm mechanically to pass over the bundle of documents he'd spent the entire morning writing up.

He notices that Marco uses his right hand to take it. He's heard that sometimes, humans wear the equivalent of the Thing on their left hand, and Namur realizes he hasn't seen (or perhaps just hasn't noticed) Marco's left hand in a while. He wonders if Marco's actually hiding it, and sneakily tries to peek at Marco's left side.

Apparently not sneakily enough, because Marco's sharp eyes flick to his side to try to catch what he must have thought Namur was trying to see, and Namur hastily straightens.

They stare at each other and the silence stretches awkwardly, and oh, Namur can tell this one, Marco looks very Confused. It comes off as sorta constipated, but Namur knows Marco well enough recognize the emotion on his questionably human face, and immediately feels bad. He didn't mean to act suspiciously, or snoop in Marco's personal life, but...he's so unbearably curious.

Namur supposes honesty is better.

"Marco," he tries to choose his words carefully, "that, on your desk..." Namur makes a vague jerky motion at the Thing.

"Oh, this?" Marco plucks up the little bundle that's now tied off with twine. "I was just going to send it off to Thatch."

Namur chokes on his own spit.

"You're, Th-Thatch?" Namur wheezes. "You're giving...to him?!"

Namur feels like he's just been sucked into a whirlpool, his world's suddenly tilting in every direction all at once. He doesn't have a problem with them being, y'know! Of course not! He supports his friends! It's just, well, he's surprised, because he'd never even suspected these particular brothers were anything but close friends, because it's Marco and Thatch, and he's been living with them for twenty years and--oh no, did everyone other than Namur actually know all along, is this Human Stuff again--

"Oh, no," Marco says with a soft laugh. "This isn't for him, yoi. He's just delivering it for me. It's for Ace's little brother."

Namur heaves out a huge sigh of relief. It's not Thatch. Oh thank goodness. Not that he doesn't think that Marco and Thatch wouldn't be great together. But. He's glad it wasn't just Namur misunderstanding...

Namur chokes on his own spit, again.

"Ace's little brother?" he tries hard not to shriek, and it comes out even tinier than expected, barely a whisper of a strangled sardine.

Marco frowns a bit at Namur's weird voice and offers him a bottle of fresh water from his side desk, which Namur shakily accepts. This is a lot to process.

"She's...ah, Ace said it's alright if Division Commanders know, but try not to spread this around too much. But she's a mermaid. I thought it'd be fitting," Marco says, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Ah," Namur nods, feeling numb. That does make a lot of sense, far more sense than giving That to Thatch at least.

A mermaid. Ace referring to his mermaid sister as "brother" also makes plenty of sense, given how vulnerable mermaids are in the world of pirates. In fact, it makes so much sense, and Namur wants to applaud Ace's discretion, he didn't seem the type to have that kind of tact and Namur's genuinely impressed, but his mind's also kind of overloaded right now.

"Although, Namur, since you're here..." Marco looks down at the parcel, dwarfed in his palm. "Do you think she'll like it? Or is it too bold, from someone she's never even met?"

It might be a trick of the light but...does Marco look, demure?

Namur's eyes bug out.

Holy shit. This is the real deal.

Namur's never known Marco to have a personal life or interest in anyone, the man's the definition of dedicating his life to the crew. But perhaps he was just being discreet, because surely everyone has a some soft spot or another, and Namur has just found Marco's.

And they've never even met?! They have a long distance relationship too. She's all the way in East Blue, and they correspond via letters and packages. All those oceans between them...

And on top of that, a mermaid and phoenix. She, bound in water, reaching up for the unattainable, while he, bound to the sky, doomed to drown if he touches her domain...like epic lovers torn apart by fate, just like the fairy tale of the fish princess and the bird, beloved by all fishmen and merfolk...

Namur feels his eyes sting a bit from the tragic romance of it all. But now Ace and Thatch have gone to retrieve her, and she'll be coming home to the Moby Dick soon. They'll be united. They'll get their happy ending.

Namur reigns in his overflowing emotions, remembering that he has an important task.

Do you think she'll like it? Or is it too bold?

Marco has consulted in Namur, his closest friend, his fishman expert confidant. This is his time to shine, his chance to give back a little for all the kindness and support Marco's shown him all these years. And Namur will not disappoint.

Namur composes himself, and then takes his reports back from Marco's hand, letting them go because they're suddenly utterly unimportant in light of Marco's blossoming future. He then grasps the now-empty hand, so warm and human, with both of his webbed ones. Marco's eyes widen in alarm as the papers flutter all around them, but Namur ignores them.

"Marco, I promise you, she'll love it," Namur pours every ounce of sincerity he has into his words, and feels his eyes begin to water again from the weight of it all. "I just want to say, I'm super happy for you, brother, and you can come to me for anything."

Marco stares at Namur, and Namur wills him to understand the depth of Namur's dedication to helping his dreams come true.

"...Right. Thanks, yoi?"

Namur doesn't see Marco's eyebrows climb up into his little mop of hair, doesn't notice him try and fail to extract his hand, doesn't notice him looking completely and utterly lost.

Because Namur's so overwhelmed. They grow up so fast! His friend's taking his next big step in life! And Namur gets to see it through! Being alive is incredible!

~~

Namur leaves eventually, and Marco stares blankly after him, hand still cramped from being death-gripped by the fishman for who knows how long.

He has no idea what just happened.

He then looks at the reports that are now scattered across his entire office.

"...He could have at least picked them up, yoi..."

~~

~~

~~

Namur is this guy here.

While he's a canon chara, he's also bg, and like most of Whitebeard's crew other than a core handful, we know very little about him and his personality and backstory is entirely me making it up ^ ^;

Next up in Marco's Bauble #04:

Namur values his crew's privacy. And given that he doubts he was even supposed to see Marco's secret, he absolutely can't disclose it to anyone.

Which is why he's snuck into Izo's room at ass o'clock in the morning, when everyone but the morning shift is asleep, but Izo's awake because he takes a few hours doing his hair and makeup.

Anyway, if you got through to the end, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

As always, comments/reblogs/tags always immensely appreciated!!! <3 People sharing their thoughts with me motivates me to write so much more, and update more frequently, so thank you so much for everyone who’s so kindly done so in the past!! ;A;

(and if anyone wants an early look, the next parts are already up on my Patreon ;D)

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Read the next part: Marco’s Bauble, Part 4

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~