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sos717 · 5 months ago

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Hey again,

First I want to preface by saying, I am amazed at the response from my last post. I’m so happy to see so many messages that say it helped them understand it better, butttt…

Since the last post had gained allot of attention, so did my inbox lol, and the asks. I’m going to try and go over the main points I saw allot of you guys asking me and hopefully we can move on from there and clear things up.

A really big question I got funny enough was,

“okay I understand but how do I manifest”

lol you guyssss, I’m not gonna bash anyone because I really do understand the drastic change from dropping the reliance we have on the way things APPEAR to be, and swapping it to relying on ourself for trust, but I will say, what I write is what I’ve already lived through, I wouldn’t give anyone this information if it hadn’t worked for me, and that’s means I’ve shown myself the way this all works, HUNDREDS of times, with an insane variety of topics and aspects of my life, so when I say, please please try to READ the content and truly recognize what it means, I mean it in a way that is with complete certainty, because I’m not just telling you a practice that you pick up at one point of life and either get it or don’t get it.

I’m showing you reality

(oooo I’m already getting excited)

So, how can manifestation be explained?

Let’s take a look at all the aspects of experience when we talk about manifestation, because after all, we are here to choose our experience, but this is actually where our first point starts, you are always choosing the experience. Let’s look at this section first.

We all know, whether we come from LOA (Both kinds) or just have the general idea of manifestation/energy, etc, there is always at some point the topic of source.

And what you’ll notice is, every practice, method, technique, ritual, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS puts YOU as the focal point. Do you truly think this is coincidence? Is it a coincidence that a vision board is something that you look at? Is it a coincidence that affirming or visualizing is something YOU do? Is it a coincidence that scripting, writing a note, whispering in the air, everything you could possibly think of always has to be something you initiate? No absolutely not.

What I just described is incredibly important for you to understand, and yes I will get to the aspect of feelings how to move forward in life while activating new stories and ideas, but when I say I regret not taking the time to truly understand how IT WAS ABOUT ME BEING SOURCE, I really mean it.

We get so caught up in experiencing and needing and feel overwhelmed by the shit everyone has programmed us to believe which always ends up being limiting.

But one thing that is so badly flawed is that there is never and in depth look at what it means to be source.

I mean this should be the main focus of manifestation, the fact that you are source, but because we become so focused on the world, we turn away from the most important aspect of experience. What I’m about to explain actually goes far beyond right now, it goes ALLLLL the way back…

There is only one source, going back to the beginning of the entire universe, can you try to imagine what’s there? You’d probably come up with just a vast nothingness, but at the same time, you’d be able to recognize that there had to have been something to introduce all of experience right?

Well let’s do this together, let’s imagine the moments before the universe was initiated, in this formless, void, yet no dimensions, no description, no sign of anything actually, but definitely something, some type of thing that has to be here, from which reality takes course.

I think you can see where we’re going, all that is there, is this presence, no identity or sign of personality, but absolutely there. This is source. “Wait then how am I source” you might askkkk, well okay let’s find out how you ARE this source.

When I ask “are you aware” and you of course say yes, I need you to go ahead and find out where the answer yes came from. And not just, “it came from me”, yes we know, but find it, trace the idea back to its origin.

Your going to come up with what you can’t describe

The answer of you being aware of your own existence comes from, a formless nondimensional space, it has no identity, it has no name, it has no appearance, no attributes at all, you could almost mistake it for a void, but as you sit there, coming “face to face” with this empty space that all of your claims, all of your ideas, all aspects of your identity come from, there’s something that is present. It is a presence. It is not a thing, but from this comes absolutely anything and everything that you claim to be true about the world, about experience, about your identity, etc.

That silent presence is source, but more importantly it’s your true identity, the real you.

So what is all of this then? How do we explain the experience part of this?

Let’s speed this up a bit

Now, this part might get a little complicated if you don’t take some time to understand it, like pleaseeee take your time and re-read it a hundred times if you have to.

So, there are a few aspects that stem from source, one of these being perception, and another being sensations, we don’t need to get into the details too hard for these to so I just want you to understand it as “Sense-Perception”. This is just a fancy way to describe the WAY we experience reality, NOT REALITY ITSELF, VERY IMPORTANT.

Feeling, Tasting, Touching, Seeing, Hearing, Smelling, and whatever else you can think of (I think that’s all) ARE FILTERS. It is through the limitations of this filter that you experience your own being, conciousness.

I need you to imagine source, there is no perceiving no attributes, just a vast nothingness, it is full of life and energy which is the starting point for all of existence, but it is not a singular thing.

This is knowing. The very simple effortless thing that you are. From knowing comes absolutely everything and anything.

Let’s take white teeth as an example. So you now know, “white teeth”. However, this is just that, just knowing it, not perceiving it, not touching, not hearing, none of that. But I need you to know that this is infinitely more above any sense or really just anything to ever exist for that matter because it’s source, it’s you.

Now here comes the magic

What would be the result if we added Sense-Perception into/onto knowing? If you not only knew “white teeth” but also saw it? Also heard it? Also could smell, taste, touch, it? Could feel it?

You get what we call the world, no?

You see, the ways we perceive source/ourself is like a VR headset, or glass, or a sheet, and once it’s added to the equation, whatever it is that source is activating/manifesting as, is then experience by source THROUGH/WITH perception.

The part that can be confusing is addressing what currently is perceived. Well, it’s incredibly simple.

We’ve been conditioned into thinking that the senses activating knowing, this is literally just false to begin with because we don’t require senses to know.

For example, you opening your bank account and seeing a balance IS NOT THE REASON to activate the idea “I don’t have enough money” or “I’m can’t overspend”, don’t believe me? then explain why your able to think the same things without looking at your bank account?

If it truly was seeing your bank account that validated the idea, then why are you capable of even knowing anything related to your money story without looking at your bank statements?? It should not be possible without the validation of the senses right?

You shouldn’t be able to think about how poor you are when you’re in the shower, at work, before you sleep.

But it’s possible because what you know is in no way associated or reliant with what is seen. And having the information about what source is should make you hesitant to ever activate a story that doesn’t please you again. You are too comfortable in the cycle your in. I’m sorry if that’s a little harsh.

If we go back to perception being the filter that source experiences its own activity with, you realize that the only thing that ever changes is what’s known. The world is a SIDE EFFECT of VIEWING whats known, LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.

YOU ARE SOURCE, YOU CREATE, THE WORLD IS WHAT HAPPENS AS A SIDE AFFECT OF PERCIEVING WHAT YOU ARE.

This has absolutely nothing to do with making or forcing things to change, the only thing that changes is you! This is about the way reality works. Not a how to guide on “getting it all”.

Now for the next part, THIS DOES NOT TURN OFF.

When I say that the senses do not create but, YOU DO, that means always!!! So looking in the mirror and complaining about your skin or eye color or nose is not going to ever activate any idea, BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE ACTIVATING. Don’t you see?? ITS COMING FROM YOU.

The senses CANT create, they SENSE, they perceive what reality is being! They perceive what IS KNOWN.

They can never ever ever be the cause for what is known. Looking at your teeth cannot create the knowing “my teeth are so yellow” BECAUSE YOU DO. YOU CAN DO THE SAME WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED YOU CAN DO THE SAME UNDERWATER, IN THE SHOWER, IN BED, IN THE E.R, WHATEVER IT IS YOU KNOW IS WHAT REALITY IS, AND THIS IS WHATS PERCEIVED, The side affect of percieving “my teeth are yellow”?? Well you tell me what that would be? EXACTLY.

Understand it like this, if the story or idea I’m about to activate right now could be seen, heard, touched, or just perceived in any way, what would it look/sound like? Do you see what this is now?

When you realize that you are source, allot of things start making more sense, the teachers and videos saying it’s all about you, start making sense, but they make it sound like the world is something you CHANGE as if it exists on its own, NO!

The world is the result of what KNOWING is, when it’s perceived.

At no point does this stop being true, so when you go “my teeth are white” this is reality, this is what will be perceived, but if you decide to go into habit and activate “my teeth are yellow”, there is no different process, this is what will be perceived. There is no bias to reality.

The starting point will always and can only be what’s known, the rest is automatic, as it’s always been, the only difference is, you have been activating things that you don’t like, and because this is source, all that will be perceived is what you know, so if it’s about money, or love, business, school, understand, THE MOMENT, you know something, IT IS REALITY!!!! IM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Don’t confuse the world as if it is its own entity or source, no, it’s a side effect or perceiving, NOT something you’re trying to control.

I want you see it for yourself, this information will not be of any use if you don’t see for yourself.

Please please remember. What’s perceived is not a story, it is not an idea, it’s not telling you what reality is, it’s only that, perception, it’s the same thing as looking at a brick wall for information, it cannot and will never be source, notice where the stories activate when you react to the world, and recognize that it’s something that you know, a feeling cannot stop knowing, NOTHING CAN, ITS SOURCE!

Okay, I’m sorry if this is a bit confusing at first, this is a very alternate view of the way we’ve been taught what reality is, and I know you might have allot more questions, I’m more than willing to answer them, but till then, please read this post or my past post again

(Yes im rambling, im very sleep deprived rn)

#blommp717 #nonduality #manifestation #manifest #non dualism #law of assumption #master manifestor #nondualism #advaita vedanta #law of attraction #manifesting #manifestationcoach #vision board #affirm and persist #affirmations #robotic affirming

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thatonesonicfanfictionwriter · 4 months ago

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Here me out-

Shadow the hedgehog x a reader (who is an experiment) who was recovered from a lab when team dark had to go on a mission to a abandoned lab. Shadow finds the reader in a statis tube and as team dark clears the area and g.u.n goes to pull the plug on the reader to kill her not wanting the risk a new experiment running around. However shadow isn't having seeing his own old pains from his time in the ark in the reader being an experiment. He convinces the commander to allow the reader to live on the conditions shadow looks after the reader and trains them himself. As the soldiers wake the reader up, shadow helps them to stand and they leave the lab shadow promising to help look after them and to not let them end up like maria.

“I Promise to Keep you Safe”

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Experiment Reader

Requested: Yes (by an anon).

Description: When exploring an abandoned facility, the last thing anyone expected to find was an experiment. And Shadow wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.

Notes: Ooh, this one is cool! Hope you enjoy!

(Reader will be gender-queer, using multiple pronouns.)

(There will be references to my villain organization, R.M.P. If anyone wants to know more about it, let me know!)

(The reader has a “name,” but they give themselves a different one later on.)

(Not proof-read/beta-read.)

– – – – – – – – – – – –

“This place gives me the creeps,” Rouge mutters.

“Understandable. But it needs to be investigated. You know what happened here,” Shadow says.

“AFFIRMATIVE,” Omega booms. “THEY WILL PAY FOR HARMING SO MANY MOBIANS.”

“I know, I know,” Rouge says. “Doesn’t stop it from being any less creepy.”

“Let’s just keep moving,” Shadow states.

Team Dark, along with multiple G.U.N. members, including the commander himself, keep moving, eventually coming across a locked door. On the front, there’s a sign that reads “Project A.C.E.”

Two of the agents nod at each other before using their body weight to force open the door, pointing their guns inside the room.

Once they deem it safe, they motion for everyone to come in.

“I DETECT A LIFEFORM THAT IS NOT ONE OF US,” Omega booms. “THEY SEEM TO BE PARTIALLY ROBOTIC, LIKE THE TENREC AND THE FENNEC FOX.”

“It is called R.M.P., the Robotic Mobians Project, for a reason, hun,” Rouge states.

Shadow seems to place his hand on a capsule filled with a red liquid, a black shadow being inside.

“I found what we were looking for,” Shadow states. “This must be Project Ace.”

Commander Towers lets off a nod.

“Agent Parker, pull the plug,” Towers states.

“Are you serious?” Shadow asks, getting in front of the capsule. “We just found them and your immediate thought is to kill them?!”

“We don’t need another experiment running around, Shadow,” Towers states. “Move out of the way.”

“Over my dead body,” Shadow spats. “We helped all of those other mobians that were harmed by RMP, and you just want to kill this one?”

Towers lets out a sigh.

“Fine,” he says. “But they are your responsibility. You will train them and house them. End of discussion.”

“But, commander-” an agent starts.

“I said end of discussion,” Towers states. “Agents, move out. Agent Shadow, I give you the order to wake Project Ace.”

Shadow salutes as all of the agents, including Rouge and Omega, leave the room.

He turns back to the capsule and looks around the room for any sort of code, quickly finding one on a nearby document. He puts the code in the keypad and the capsule opens, the red liquid seeping into the ground as you open your eyes, stepping out before bowing.

“Greetings, I am A.C.E., your Assistant Companion Entity,” you say. “May I know your name?”

“You can refer to me as Shadow,” Shadow states. “And no need for the formalities.”

“Understood,” you say, stopping your bow.

“Come with me. We’re getting rid of whatever programming this horrible place gave you,” Shadow states, exiting the room, you in pursuit.

This better have been worth it…

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic fanfiction #sonic characters x reader #sonic character x reader #shadow the hedgehog #x reader #sonic oneshots #sonic oneshot #oneshot #requested oneshot #requested #shadow the hedgehog x reader #shadow x reader #it's not very prominent yet but it happens eventually #etc #insert tag here #tosffw writes

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goblinsofdiscord · 1 year ago

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The Enneagram Explained ⚔️ Defence Mechanisms & Self-Sabotaging Behaviors 💣🔪

By Larissa

(This is an excerpt from a workshop I taught in 2023) If you want the accompanying "Unf*ck Yourself" mini workshop + pdf workbook join the membership and get it instantly. I apologize for how dry and cringe the names/descriptions are.

To watch/listen instead:

youtube

One of the main ways you can stop operating out of autopilot, quit the shit patterns and actually get what you want is by:

Being with the discomfort of not operating out of your personality trap + shadow (being conscious, making different choices, regulating your nervous system in the moment with breath, tapping, affirmations).

Integrating the opposite of your personality's "belief" (the shadow).

This sounds simple but it actually requires a considerable amount of bravery and determination. Which is why most people who learn the Enneagram don’t actually use it for self-growth. Because it’s more fun to chit chat about and study than to actually apply to our own lives.

The personality’s belief structure creates behaviors and defense mechanisms. These beliefs and behaviors create the shadow.

The defense mechanisms come from Freud's psychoanalytic theories and have been correlated to Enneagram theory by multiple sources and evolved over time with other people's ideas (Fritz Perls, Oscar Ichazo, Helen Palmer, Naranjo, etc). I won’t be getting into any of that, I’m just going to apply them in how I see them as useful. I’ve also added behaviors that I notice in each of the types.

I’m not sharing these to shame anyone or be judgmental, because we’re ALL doing at least one, if not three or more of these patterns. I’m using the Enneagram as a framework to show you how to spot patterns, unuseful beliefs and shadow at a much quicker pace than if you’re just doing it from just generic journaling prompts or waiting for something to “happen” before you address it. This way you have a pathway to start looking at the problems before your life goes to total shit.

Each type’s flawed belief (“If I am not ___ I don’t exist /I am not me/I am not safe”) manifests itself through behaviors and actions.

This process is unconscious. Even if you were aware that you were doing some of this stuff, it’s not your fault. It’s what we were programmed to do. But by integrating our shadow and coming into acceptance and wholeness we get to make better choices, think supportive thoughts, feel better, more useful and aligned feelings. And you can also catch yourself in the act and check yourself before you wreck yourself.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 1 - “DADDY”

1’s prefer to see themselves as being conscientious and above the degenerate riff raff. They’re proper, correct and in integrity, therefore they cannot see themselves as lazy, foolish, wrong, messy or "bad.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

1’s avoid outwardly expressing anger to remain “objective” and in control. Because expressing “anger” is “bad.” To be imperfect, incompetent, wrong or out-of-control is death to the 1. This mechanism reinforces the 1's ego because it assures them that they are right, proper, perfect, and correct. Therefore, their survival and identity continues. However, because the 1 is an anger/gut type, they’re constantly churning irritation factories.

If the 1 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 1 utilizes “anger” they are unlikely to allow themselves to see themselves as incorrect, in the wrong, imperfect.

How this manifests:

Reaction Formation: 1’s can express the opposite of their actual feelings and desires. They do this to reinforce their ego as “not being angry” (being perfect, right, correct, proper, good). Expressing anger is “bad” or what people who have no self-control do.

Channeling unexpressed anger into physical activities - going hog wild on cleaning, obsessively exercising, restricting food/hedonistic delights, perfectionism fixations, taking a red pen to their life.

Criticality + judgmental concerns projected onto people around them, for their “own good.” To the 1 they’re being responsible, doing the right thing.

Splitting: Seeing things in black and white under stress (this is good, this is evil). In super low health this can lead to extreme behaviors, like witch-hunting, finger-pointing, being the ‘voice of God’ / judge, jury and executioner.

Rationalization: 1's can rationalize to justify their self-righteousness. “This is the most correct, right, or efficient way to do the thing, therefore I am right and you are wrong.” If you don’t do what I say, it will be to your own detriment.

Hypocrisy: Projecting their own denied desires, feelings and even private behaviors by condemning the same desires, feelings and behaviors in others. They know the right way to be, and you are not being it. They can become preachy about whatever they take issue with, in order to unconsciously overcompensate for their secret bad behavior or naughty thoughts. This ties directly to Shadow Work, because 1's and 1-fixers can have a pungent Shadow full of all kinds of misdeeds and “dark” desires, but be totally blind to them while criticizing others for the same things.

Example: The anti-gay politician who is having an affair with a man, or the barbiturate-poppin' mom who wages a neighborhood campaign against drugs.

OCD: Obsessively creating more order and rightness in their physical environment, relationships, or self. They can go into “perfecting” mode in order to feel in control of something they cannot control, where they exert order onto their surroundings and right wrongs (like becoming obsessed with cleanliness in their home or laying out ‘rules’ that others must follow).

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2 - “MOMMY”

2’s prefer to see themselves as being loving, nurturing, selfless, self-sacrificing, caring towards others, concerned and kind-hearted. Therefore they cannot see themselves as selfish, self-centered, giving to get, cold, heartless or "bad”. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

2’s avoid feeling selfish or needy, by refusing to directly ask to get their needs met or receive what they truly wish from others. 2's unconsciously repress these needs and desires to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are self-sacrificing, needed, good and loving. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 2 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 2 utilizes “pride” they are unlikely to allow themselves to wallow or even acknowledge any wrongdoing or selfishness on their part. It’s the other person’s fault, the 2 is blameless.

How this manifests:

Repression: 2’s hide their needs and "selfish" desires from themselves in order to maintain their caring and indispensable self-image. They use Repression to AVOID feeling needy, unnecessary or rejected. Because of their type structure, they can't see how they are in need of anyone else's help or how they are anything other than self-sacrificing. They cover up these feelings with flattery, offers of help, being intrusive and overly nice.

2’s prioritize others’ needs in the hopes someone will prioritize theirs. But then when that happens, the 2 goes into rejection mode and wants to get back into position as ‘the helper’ as that’s where their identity is invested.

The 2 projects their needs onto those around them by being overly helpful or intrusive. If they feel like they're not being appreciated or getting their needs met, they can move into covertly "punishing" behaviors to the person they keep giving to or subconsciously create situations in which the person might be forced to give back to them.

Example: The 2 wants help cleaning from their spouse, so over-cleans to the point where they become ill so that their partner is forced to pick up the slack or show them care for all of their self-sacrificing. This can also manifest in ways like them offering to do something and then making the other person wait to receive if they are feeling secretly resentful or not shown adequate appreciation or having their self-image adequately validated.

In low health, 2’s can use “Identification” to take on the needs and worries of those around them as if it’s theirs. They become fretful over other people’s problems. Anything that hurts their loved one hurts them. And it becomes covertly narcissistic, wherein they can make someone else’s suffering about themselves, but also their wins. “If it wasn’t for my help, they wouldn’t have accomplished that.” They can secretly (or not secretly) want undue credit for “help” they’ve provided (whether solicited or not).

2’s use “Reframing” in collaboration with “Repression.” They can reframe their intentions (to maintain a pride in their pure and loving intentions) and reframe others intentions too, lest it burst the sugar-coated bubble they’re desiring to live in or reflect back to them that they’re unwanted.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 3 - “SHAPESHIFTER”

3’s like to see themselves as impressive, competent, successful and admired or valued for what they do or are. Therefore they cannot see themselves as losers, failures, or less than others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

3’s avoid feeling like a failure or worthless by adapting to external ideals, competing, and striving. 3's unconsciously use “Identification” to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are valuable, worthy, admired and successful. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 3 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 3 utilizes “deceit” they are unlikely to allow themselves to own their failings or true feelings if it interferes with the image they’re projecting.

How this manifests:

3's use "Identification" as a defense mechanism, by unconsciously assimilating with the "other." They use this to avoid feeling like a failure. How this shows up is that they take on the traits, characteristics, attributes, aesthetics, preferences, values and mannerisms of important people in their life, groups, people they see as valuable and those they admire or envy. They do this to create an image of success (to themselves and/or others).

Denial/Projection: 3’s can blame others for their failures or what isn’t working for them, offloading image fails onto others to distance themselves from shame. Just like they can take on others traits/behaviors/stories, they can offload those same things onto others as well.

Deception: This collection of traits is their "self image" and where their ego and self-worth resides, and because their external sources and what is valued may change, it can give 3's a shapeshifter quality depending on who or what they're surrounded by, what they value, what they do. Underneath this layer of shiny baubles is still a 'shame type' and so without this sometimes fragile self-image being upheld they are but a raw, shameful nerve. Because of this, they can lose contact with their own internal compass, needs, desires and their authentic self. They prioritize what gets them those positive hits and bolsters their ego/self-image. They can be totally asleep to this inner incongruence, and be deceiving themselves, especially in lower levels of health.

Numbing/Workaholism: 3’s can use numbing so they don’t get stuck in the emotional swamp and become unproductive. They can power down the “I’m a failure, I’m upset, I’m emotional” aspect and power up the drive to override emotional slop that might get in their way. They might override this with going hard into working around the clock, substances, shopping/spending a lot or doing something flashy to bolster their self-image.

Competition: 3’s can get caught up in competition, using others as a stepping stone or a way to boost their own image by comparison (“see how much better of a job I’m doing than Ted.”) They might do this to the point where they end up chasing someone else’s dreams and totally shooting themselves in the foot.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 4 - “DISDAINFUL DEPRESSIVE”

4’s like to see themselves as separate, uniquely flawed, deep, and the special exception. Therefore they cannot see themselves as mundane, relatable, ordinary, adaptable, or even for many 4’s functional. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

4’s avoid feeling mundane, ordinary, relatable, shallow, functional or happy. 4's unconsciously self-sabotage and focus on the negative and what’s frustrating, to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are deep, different, uniquely flawed and unlike anyone else. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 4 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 4 utilizes envy (what is missing) they are unlikely to allow themselves to see where they are functional, relatable, understandable or even happy. They subconsciously craft a self-image that rejects any "positive" information about themselves that comes into conflict with this existing "negative" image.

How this manifests:

Introjection: Introjection is presented as absorbing another person's identity or feelings (like a parent) and transferring it to themselves. However, it's more nuanced and specific than that for 4’s. 4's aren't just taking in any old information, they're unconsciously taking in evidence that they are broken, estranged, alien, fucked up and damaged - and this is great news to them. While the external world may be giving the 4 fuel, their experience has almost nothing to do with the outside world. The outside world is just serving to fuel the 4's internal narrative. The 4 weaves these evidentiary mementos into a story. They identify with specific negative traits that reinforce that they are separate, rare, deeply flawed so as to never quite be understood or capable of being happy and functional.

They do this unconsciously as a way to cope with the pain of feeling broken, unwanted, dysfunctional and different. They weave the negative narratives into their identity and shape it into a way that makes them feel in control of it, to project depth and meaning onto it vs someone or something outside of themselves creating their story and making it shallow. The more they associate into this negative state, the more dysfunctional they can become and the more it supports their type's ego structure. Without these narratives they feel naked and non-existant. Because their self-image is inherently negative, they are “positively” associated with being in a negative, frustrated, unsatisfied state.

Idealization: Idealizing people or situations as a way to generate feelings to pull the 4 away from the mundane reality/experience. This idealization is a frustration pattern designed to keep them in a loop of disappointment and longing because nothing will ever live up to what they hope, something will always be missing and the 4 can never truly actualize or be happy as a result. And if it is everything they’ve ever wanted, the 4 is likely to find something wrong anyway or create a problem where there is none.

As a result, the 4 might self-sabotage opportunities that would actually aid them in being functional, capable, happy, or get them what they claim they want. They may discard things, people, ideas, pursuits if they feel too easy, cheap, relatable, mundane. Or keep churning up issues and provocations that will lead to them being able to say, “see, I never get to have what I want.” Or “I knew no one would understand.”

Splitting: 4’s reject what’s “not me” and often find what’s not to their tastes or “not me” disgusting. Everything that’s not in the frustrated realm that the 4 approves of is superficial, shallow, ugly, vapid, horrible, etc. For the faceless masses, not the 4. Being at odds with reality helps reinforce their self-identity. I’m not like that, therefore I’m deep.

Because 4’s are usually creative or self-identify with the idea of being an artist/writer/creative, their tragically romantic, broken and disdainful views can be expressed through their art. They may overdo it in making it unpalatable or abstract. Or if they become popular they may self-sabotage their own success or self-image by being provocative, turning on their fans/the public, becoming moody, self-destructive or unpredictable. They’ll likely move away from what is expected or desired by their fanbase, even if they secretly desire an audience. Or maybe they’ll over-specify how they present themselves and shroud themselves in mystery in a way that others cannot easily relate to, they can only *bear witness.*

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 5 - “BRUNDLEFLY”

5’s like to see themselves as insightful, competent, self-sufficient, independent and objective. Therefore they cannot see themselves as emotional, human, helpless or dependent on others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

5’s avoid feeling dependent on others, helpless, depleted, or engulfed in the messy world. 5's unconsciously retreat inwards and withhold energy and information, detach, and compartmentalize to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are competent, objective, smarter than everyone else and above the mortal coil.

Because the 5 utilizes avarice (hoarding inner resources) they are unlikely to allow themselves to allow themselves to be put in a position where they are “needed” for anything outside of the scope of their specific interest/competency focus, or entangle themselves with hot messes (people or situations). Of all the types, this is maybe the one that is least likely to give a shit if they have a shadow, tbh.

How this manifests:

Isolation: 5’s retreat and protect their inner sanctum from being invaded or picked clean by the outside world. They use isolation to avoid dependence on others or having to be interlaced with their chaotic whims and needs which may disrupt what the 5 would rather be doing with their time (some kind of mind pursuit). They may design their entire lives to protect themselves against intrusion.

Detachment: 5’s use detachment as a means to cope when they feel overwhelmed. They disconnect from and retreat from their own and others’ unstable feelings. In order to feel competent and safe and conserve their mental resources, they can cut all contact or need for the outside world.

They use ‘rejection’ methods of cutting off and compartmentalizing to ensure they’re not swallowed up in the messy ass human bullshit of this humdrum existence. This may show up as minimizing their needs (physical, relational, financial, emotional). They’re the most likely to live in some secret, off-grid tiny home. Not the one with all the gardens and crops and goats, but the one that has the bare minimum to survive where they can focus on their studies or whatever their mental obsession is, far away from other people.

They can have totally hidden worlds within worlds that others know nothing about. Each world dangerously close to being lopped off at a moment’s notice if the 5 sees no use for it anymore. They dump all of their energy into their main pursuit because it’s where they feel “safe” and valuable, and so the outside world interfering with that feels like an attack on their very existence. By overdoing this one area of “competency” they can actually make themselves unable to actually be independent or functional. So to them they may seem overly competent, but to the outside world they may seem bizarre and dysfunctional.

5’s use compartmentalization of emotions, energy, and relationships. Separating their thoughts from feelings, and putting people into boxes to be dealt with or utilized instead of truly connected to. This can have a dehumanizing effect on the people around them who don’t want to only interact with the 5 when they have the inner resources or only interact with them on narrow and specific terms. By doing this, the 5 effectively shuts out having to deal with whatever they don’t want to but also hacks off pieces of their own heart, spirit, and humanity which is the only true place to create and mine for the insights and independence they seek.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6 - “CITIZEN EMO”

6’s like to see themselves as loyal, hardworking, just a regular person, authentic, responsible, fair and connected to the family/community/tribe, etc. Therefore they cannot see themselves as bad, traitorous, pompous or “too good.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

6’s avoid feeling unsafe, uncertain or abandoned in their attachments and support systems (physical, group, partner). 6's unconsciously seek security/safety (and dangers), truth (and lies) and support systems they can trust and rely on to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are accepted, part of the tribe, safe, secure, supported and prepared. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 6 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 6 utilizes “fear” (and anxiety) they are unlikely to allow themselves to relax, ease up, stop hunting for discrepancies or what could go wrong.

How this manifests:

Projection: 6’s project their worst fears and worst case intentions onto other people. They’re always sniffing out danger in the world and in their connections. Who’s being disloyal? Who’s up to no good? They can engage in investigative, gossipy behaviors, seeking out clues of their worst fears. Sometimes they project their own behaviors, feelings and thoughts onto others and then fear being blamed or accused (which leads to projecting).

On the flipside, they can project idolization fantasies onto “experts”, simping people who they can put all their trust and outsource their thinking to. They do this to create certainty within themselves.

Worst Case Scenario: Projections can also show up as “predictions” where the 6 may anticipate the worst and then by overfocusing on this negative outcome, they manifest it into reality. Their worst case scenario becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (“See! I knew the basement was going to flood!” Or “See! I knew you’d cheat on me!”) This churning distrust has them always on the hunt, and never feeling safe.

Splitting: Like other types they can see things in “black and white”, good or bad, you’re with me or against me. 6’s can be tribal and overly-identified to their “side” - whether that’s ideologically, politically, religiously or just in their general friend groups.

Outsourcing anxiety: They can overdose on anxiety in order to reach equilibrium. They project their internal anxieties into the outside world in the hopes that someone else will solve the problem for them. Like constantly bringing people’s attention to the negative or what could go wrong. They cannot rest until someone else validates and matches their concern. They want help to deal with the problem (real or imagined) and for someone else to assuage their fears.

Redirect overwhelming fears from one source onto another source that they feel is easier to manage (like a loved one, peer, boss).

Rebellion: 6’s can get anti-authoritarian when their trust is broken, they’re disappointed, or they engage in “splitting.” They can be mega social justice warriors and fight for what is “right”, but in doing so they can totally lose perspective and go so hard in fighting for justice that they actually become the bad guy.

6’s can also be hypochondriacs with their anxiety. Excessive worrying, creating symptoms and scenarios out of the ether. They can circle the drain, fixating on problem after potential problem. They can literally bring forth a potential health catastrophe into reality with constant focus on it. This paranoia can manifest in many ways, but sometimes they’re right!

Self-deprecation: They also may use self-deprecation or humor, or presenting as an “underdog” as a way to deflect being targeted or being seen as too big for their britches. They can project this onto other with a ‘tall poppies’ or ‘crabs in the bucket’ mentality.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 7 - “MAD HATTER HEDONIST”

7’s like to see themselves as interesting, exciting, innovative, individualistic, creative and fun. Therefore they cannot see themselves as boring, normal, part of the grind or a downer. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

7’s avoid feeling trapped, limited, stifled, cut off and bored. 7's unconsciously seek new, interesting people/things/situations/interests to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are fascinating, buoyant, original and compelling creatures. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 7 utilizes “gluttony” they are unlikely to allow themselves to stagnate for too long, moving onto the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

How this manifests:

Rationalization: Which means the 7 can subconsciously (or consciously) rationalize away shitty behaviors and dodge responsibility. They are usually averse to their specific flavours of what is “painful” and will reframe reframe reframe themselves up up up and away from whatever that source of “pain” is. Whether it’s the guilt of doing something awful, or the fall-out of saying something flippantly, or the consequences of a thoughtless action. They’re especially prone to rationalizing if making the pain conscious means they’re not able to do, be or have something they desire.

Distraction: They go into distraction seeking mode via hedonism, intellectual stimulation, adventures, extreme sports, partying, being totally manic and creating for 3 days straight, shopping, etc when they want to avoid discomfort, pain, boredom.

Repression: They use repression to bury negative emotions (in whatever flavour they despise) and push away anything that makes them feel like they’ve been victimized. 7’s can be emotional and melodramatic but it’s in the flavour they find the most interesting. They’re not here to be a boring victim or cry themselves to sleep every night over a loser.

Anticipation/Planning: They can over idealize an outcome to the point where they are more about getting the dopamine hits off anticipation than actually doing the thing or seeing whatever their harebrained scheme is through to completion.

Entitlement: 7’s can be massive brats about getting what they want. As frustration types they’re often focused on what they don’t have and what they want, but because they’re assertive they’re more likely to chase after it, expect it to be given to them, or push people out of the way to get it.

Pleasure-seeking/Hedonism: 7’s reject that which is not pleasurable because there’s nothing in it for them. When 7’s get into this “thank you, next” pattern it can become impossible for them to actualize or stick to something long enough for them to enjoy the fruits of all their initial excitement. The sparkle fades and there’s nothing tasty for the 7 to stick around and lick, so they’re likely to start looking for something else.

Rebellion: Like 6’s, 7’s can also be rebellious, but their reasons for rebelling are likely centered around freedom (literally or freedom of expression), anti-censorship, pro-individuality/individual choice. They can also just rebel for the hell of it if they’re bored, or if there are hot people associated with a cause.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 8 - “FINAL BOSS”

8’s like to see themselves as powerful, invulnerable, independent, intimidating IDGAF leaders. Therefore they cannot see themselves as weak, under someone else’s heel, being controlled, powerless or soft. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

8’s avoid feeling weak, vulnerable, powerless, small or allowing anything to threaten them. 8's unconsciously deny vulnerabilities and weaknesses to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are indeed powerful and no one can or will fuck with them. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 8 utilizes “lust” they are unlikely to allow themselves to put themselves in a position where they could be steamrolled, deprived, slowed down or made small or powerless.

How this manifests:

Denial: 8’s use “Denial” by rejecting their own vulnerabilities or weaknesses. This can show up as denying emotions, fears, thoughts that don’t serve the 8’s ego identification of being powerful. They can also completely deny the existence of any perceived weak points that an “enemy” could use against them. If possible, they will lop off anyone or anything that causes them agitation (people, situations) or seems like a threat to their inner or outer sanctuary that they’ve created.

Rejection/Coldness: They can view softness and receptivity as death. If they weaken for a moment, they’ll get screwed over or tricked.

Reaction Formation: 8’s can express the opposite of how they feel. So they can feel really hurt but act like they’re emotionally impervious. You have no effect on the 8. You don’t matter. If you’ve wounded their steel heart, you’ll pay the price. Like the 7 they can deny victimhood, but they might personally feel quite slighted and seek revenge to get the ball back in their court, the power back in their hands, for how the person made them feel.

Aggression/assertiveness: 8’s can take up space and project an air of confidence in order to pre-defend against would-be attacks. Showing up with big bear or chaos demon energy ensures no one will fuck with them and that they’ll get what they want. Therefore they can be domineering, bossy, straight-shooters. My way or the highway.

Control/conquering: 8’s can be hyper controlling and even paranoid, depending on their position and the situation. They can take on the role of puppetmaster or dictator, to ensure things happen according to their plan and they’re not at the whims of someone else or underneath someone else’s thumb.

Justification: 8’s can be impulsive with their anger and feeling absolutely justified. The desired effect can be to crush whatever is pissing them off with their brutality and force.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 9 - “SOOTHING SQUISH”

9’s like to see themselves as chill, empathetic, caring, supportive and deep. Therefore they cannot see themselves as provocative, disruptive, thoughtless, aggressive or selfish. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow.

9’s avoid feeling in conflict and stressed out. 9's unconsciously seek to be in harmony and flow with those around them and their environment to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are chill, harmonious and connected.

If the 9 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 9 utilizes “sloth” they are unlikely to allow themselves to just get after it, make demands, make bold moves.

How this manifests:

Narcotization/Dissociation: 9’s use narcotization which means to numb, to ease discomfort. This can manifest in multiple ways, falling asleep at the wheel of life - outsourcing decisions, independence, physical needs, to others. It can also show up as losing yourself in mindless side-tasks instead of just dealing with problems. They can dissociate from problems by numbing their heart and mind to what’s in front of them, or to just hope it resolves itself without any involvement or disruption to the 9’s existence.

9’s repress their anger in favor of keeping peace. They can be really annoyed and not able to verbalize it until it reaches a crisis point for the 9. The other person may be totally shocked when it happens, especially if the 9 kept telling them that everything was fine.

Passive Aggression: 9’s express how they feel indirectly and hoping the person picks up on their subtle cues without them having to generate conflict. This can also just slip out subconsciously through offhand comments, looks, tone or behaviors. And when confronted with it, they’ll likely recede into a mist and say nothing’s wrong.

9’s can also use “positive reframing”, not unlike 7, but theirs is more used as a numbing agent, smoothing out a dire situation or other people’s malintent, rudeness, or shitty behavior so it doesn’t result in conflict or upset.

Outsourcing: 9’s often give their power away, instead of asking for what they want or expressing themselves without being prompted. They can become disappointed when others fail to mind-read or intuit their needs without them having to assert themselves or vocalize it.

Self-Forgetting: Because 9’s can dance around their location in order to keep the peace and not lose connection, they can forget what they want or how they really feel about something.

Merging: Like 3’s, 9’s merge with the people around them, often taking on their interests, aesthetics, values and even mannerisms. However the 9 isn’t doing it to become an ideal and compete for validation, they do it because they over-identify with the idealized other to create harmony and melt into them.

7’s and 9’s can both procrastinate and get lost in multiple fantasies of possibilities, but the difference is that the 7 is likely taking an active, assertive approach and throwing spaghetti at the wall, whereas the 9’s dreams can fade away if they don’t have another person holding them accountable or a job to show up for or something external.

Ghosting: Instead of just saying “no,” often 9’s will be vague or give a “maybe” or “sure” if they don’t know their location in the moment or don’t want to rock the boat. And then they’ll disappear when followed up with.

SELF-REFLECTION PROMPTS (FOR JOURNALING)

Did you cringe at any of the behaviors listed? did you recognize any of these in yourself?

write out which ones you recognized. no judgment. it's not "you", it's just behaviors Created out of your personality's false belief. Unpack them. go back to the situation. what were you feeling at the time? what was running through your mind?

What did you need to know in that moment to feel totally safe and make a different choice?

What different choice can you make next time?

What would be the worst thing someone could say about you or make you feel?

Is there anything in your life that you can see as you trying to avoid this being said about you, control people's perceptions, or avoiding feeling?

Can you accept this behavior in yourself right now, forgive yourself, and choose to be more consciously aware?

If you want the accompanying "Unf*ck Yourself" mini workshop + pdf workbook join the membership and get it instantly. I apologize for how dry this is. Want to get typed or coached by me? Book here.

#enneagram #enneagram types #enneagram 4 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 3 #enneagram 9 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 2 #enneagram 1 #enneagram 5 #Youtube

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luxsdelirium · 4 months ago

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ˑ 𖥻 manifesting from lux : entry 001 ; subliminals

Your mind is always listening—why not make it work for you?

my first little mini lesson! today ill be teaching—or if you already know, about subliminals and why you should use them to manifest.

what is a subliminal?

glad you asked! a subliminal is a type of audio or visual message designed to bypass the conscious mind and influence the subconscious. subliminals are usually audio tracks with affirmations layered underneath music, rain sounds, or other relaxing noises. they are used to reprogram their subconscious beliefs, making it easier to manifest things like self-concept changes, physical appearance shifts, success, love, or even permashifting to a dr. the idea is that your subconscious absorbs the affirmations without resistance, helping you embody the desired state effortlessly.

why am i talking about subliminals?

its important to use subliminals if your thinking of manifesting, subliminals for manifestation isn’t mandatory, but it’s one of the most powerful tools available. By embedding affirmations directly into your subconscious, subliminals help dissolve limiting beliefs, reinforce your desires, and make manifesting feel effortless. While you don’t need them, they can significantly speed up the process and strengthen your alignment with your desires.

want to find a lost item? listen to a subliminal.

want your sp by a certain date? listen to a subliminal.

want that dream body? listen to a subliminal!

but… you have to be careful! not all subliminals are made with good intentions—some contain negative affirmations hidden beneath the audio. I learned this the hard way, which is exactly why i started making my own.

do i recommend making your own subliminals? absolutely. creating your own ensures that every affirmation aligns with your desires, your beliefs, and the reality you want to manifest.

why leave your subconscious programming in the hands of someone else when you can take full control?

majority subliminals on youtube are safe.. id say. another way you can check is to always, always, ALWAYS check the comments and descriptions.

some subliminal pages i recommend!

@333ariana

@KrystalizedEra

@LOAGirly

@nyx4u

@iwantitigotitsublimals

an: if youd like to know how to make your own subliminals lmk! i can make a post about it and how!

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ascendingaffirmations · 3 months ago

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Witchy Tips and Advice/Methods for Manifesting

So I thought I'd make a little post about some ways that I incorporate witchcraft into manifesting, since I use it a lot. I'm aware that not all people are comfortable with incorporating witchcraft into manifesting, so this may not be for everyone, but I wanted to share for those of you that ARE interested.

HERBS/CRYSTALS ✶⋆.˚

Using herbs and crystals are probably what I do most when it comes to manifesting and witchcraft, simply because it's so easy. You program the crystals with your intention, same with the herbs, and then they do the rest.

I meditate with my crystals while setting intent, or before/during/after writing out all my manifestations in present tense.

A method I like is writing out what I'm manifesting on a small piece of paper, folding it towards me three times, and placing it in a sachet. In the sachet I also include certain herbs and crystals that relate to my intentions, and I sleep with it under my pillow. I also like to use ink colors that correspond with my intentions (google color magic for further explination) when writing my affirmations.

Below are some herbs and crystals that I commonly use:

CRYSTALS

Clear quartz (amplifies energy and thoughts, promotes clarity, improves awareness)

Rose quartz (love, beauty, self-love, sensuality)

Amethyst (spirituality, heightening intuition, mental clarity)

HERBS

Echinacea (strength with spells, abundance, amplifies other herbs)

Cinnamon (prosperity, abundance, love, passion)

Mint (abundance, new beginnings, prosperity)

SPELLS ✶⋆.˚

I don't always do this, but I'll do it every now and then when I'm aligning with a certain energy. For example, I'm more likely to do a spell for manifesting something new on the new moon or waxing moon, or using an astrological event such as a planet going into retrograde, an eclipse, etc.

My most common spells are candle spells (when I need something quickly I tend to use the element of fire) or spell jars, which I shake whenever I need to activate it's energy.

I use the same herbs and crystals for spells, but again, they change based on what spell I'm trying to do.

SUBLIMINALS ✶⋆.˚

(BEFORE READING ON, KEEP IN MIND THAT NOT ALL SUBLIMINALS USE WITCHCRAFT. I know that some people's beliefs go against witchcraft, but it is NOT used in all subliminals. Subliminals are perfectly safe to use (just make sure you trust the creator and always read the description) no matter what your belief system is or doesn't allow.)

Now another thing that I do that's very low effort and always available is using subliminals that are energy charged, or have a spell in the affirmations. You can easily find them by looking up 'subliminal spell' followed by your intention on YouTube, and it should pop up if there is one for your intention. If there isn't, a general one will work just as well.

I made a spelled subliminal for reality shifting that you can find here. There are plenty of other subliminals out there, just be careful who you use, as there is always a chance of negative affirmations being used. This is uncommon, but it's better to be safe than sorry, so always check the description and comments!

I'll link some safe subliminal makers down below.

ascendedice. - YouTube (spelled subliminals, reality shifting subliminals, manifestation subliminals)

baejin cafe - YouTube - (subliminals for many things, beauty subliminals, manifesting subliminals)

a☆slostfiles - YouTube (manifestation subliminals, spirituality subliminals, self concept subliminals)

i want it, i got it. - YouTube - (literally subliminals for everything. theres a 99% chance you'll find what you're looking for if you search for it.)

xoxo

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ana-bananya · 4 months ago

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Resources for LGBTQIA+ People in the US

Here are some mental health, relocation, and gender-affirming care resources that are accessible in the US. I got majority of these resources from @/thetadvocate on ig. If anyone has additional resources, please feel free to reblog and add them!

Brief descriptions are provided of the services offered, and the names of each organization has been linked to lead to their website or linktree for additional information and resources.

Trans LifeLine - Peer support phone service run by trans people for trans and questioning peers. Call at 877-565-8860

Call BlackLine - Provides peer support and counseling for people who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens. Prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color).

Available for anyone who is in crisis, wants to describe and interaction with law enforcement or vigilantes, or simply needs to talk through an experience. You do not have to provide any personal information to use this service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind. Call at 1 (800) 604-5841

SAGE Hotline - Free 24/7 support for LGBTQ+ elders. Call at 877-360-5428

The Trevor Project- 24/7 crisis hotline for LGBTQ+ youth. Click here for call, text, and chat information.

LGBT National Youth Talkline - Talkline for LGBTQ+ callers of any age. Hotline is open Mon-Fri from 11am-8pn pacific time (2pm-11pm eastern time) and on Saturdays from 9am-2pm pacific (12pm-6pm eastern). Call at 800-246-7743

Trans Advocacy And Care Team (TACT) - offers 3 free peer counseling sessions* for Trans people by trans-identified peer counselors, plus peer support groups. Support is available virtually to trans adults across the US.

*For ongoing support, TACT offers additional sessions on a sliding scale basis or can provide referrals to trans-affirming mental health providers.

National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network - healing justice organization committed to transforming mental health for queer and trans people of color. Offers community resources, directory of therapists, organization listing and crisis hotlines.

Rainbow Railroad - Helps LGBTQ+ people across the world escape state-sponsored violence, providing travel to their destination country and immediate, bridging post-travel support on arrival.

Elevated Access - Volunteer pilots transport passengers at no cost to access the gender affirming care they need.

Transcend Campaign - Funds out-of-state healthcare travel, inclusive school tuition, and small cash grants for queer youth in unsafe areas of Iowa, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wisconsin and/or the Native Nations therein.

The TransLatin@ Coalition - Provides essential resources such as housing support, legal aid, and healthcare access to transgender, gender expansive, and intersex (TGI) immigrants in Los Angeles, California

Trans Rescue - Helps trans, intersex, and other people flee places where it is dangerous to be trans. They cannot fund travel, but can help create evacuation plans. Offers help both inside the US and outside of the US. Email [email protected] for 1 hour free consultation.

Marsha's House - NYC safe housing for trans & non-binary individuals, offers a wide array of programs.

Safe to Be You! - Free legal aid in New Mexico for LGBTQIA+ survivors of violence.

Northwest Network - National LGBTQ+ domestic violence support network. Call at 206-568-7777

The Network/LA Red - 24 hour free hotline provides confidential emotional support, safety planning, and crisis prevention for LGBTQ+ folks, as well as folks in kink and polyamorous communities who are being abused or have been abused by a partner. Contact at 617-742-4911 (voice) or 800-832-1901 (toll-free)

NYC Anti-Violence Project - Free, bilingual (English/Spanish), 24 hour crisis intervention hotline offering support to LGBTQ+ and HIV affected survivors of any type of violence, as well as to those who love and support survivors, including those who have lost a loved one to violence. Call at 212-714-1141

For additional trans mental health resources, as well as trans resources specific to the New Jersey area, @/thetadvocate has compiled a series of google docs. You can find the documents listed in their linktree.

#lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #queer community #trans #transgender #protect trans kids #protect trans lives #intersex #nonbinary #non binary #resources #mental health #counseling

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serenepalingenesis · 1 year ago

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༺REPROGRAMMING༻

hello. since it is summer break and i have absolutely nothing to do, i have decided to create a subliminal that isn’t connected to our honkai: star rail path collection (but is still connected to honkai: star rail in general). i gained the idea for this subliminal after listening to my shifting reprogramming playlist while meditating, which persisted for a few hours until i decided to make it. this is the first subliminal i have created without genesis’ contributions (mainly because it has been busy lately). while we mainly work on subliminals together, we will occasionally post our own individual subliminals.

youtube

the affirmations within the subliminal use both video game and programming language (e.g. “my shifting abilities are at max level”). there are also affirmations pertaining to gaining silver wolf’s mindset of playing life on easy mode and gaining her abilities to alter the data of reality. at the end, there are a few affirmations revolving around playing video games to help shift. i have decided to use my own voice instead of TTS voice this time because the TTS voice i used couldn’t pronounce silver wolf properly (ᴗ_ ᴗ。). overall, this is a subliminal aimed to reprogram the subconscious for shifting.

there are rain versions and theta wave versions linked in the description. please note that the theta waves version DOES require headphones, as it utilizes binaural beats (4-7hz). thank you for tuning in.

- 🪷

#reality shifting #subliminal #shifting #shiftinconsciousness #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifting subliminal #shiftingrealities #subliminals #shift #Youtube

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platonicreaderinsertfanfic · 4 months ago

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Stolen Thunder and Fought for Friendship

Word count: 2,541 Summary: You were trying to bring the appropriate level of banhammer smackdown and showmanship to your job as the new Battle City Commissioner. But of course, just as you felt your confidence flourish, Kaiba wrecked it. Also, a smidge of Roland backstory. Dub canon plus a version of DSOD. Intended female Reader, but gender not actually mentioned. Set maybe two years post DSOD. Fun fact: I write my Reader characters with personality and specific description. They may not be as generic as is customary for this type of story. Each reader character also has a specific place in the Yu-Gi-Oh world, with set connections and feelings about the various canon characters and other reader characters. This is reader B, who is immune to the siren song of romance, cheap, eccentric, logical, and hands-on. “Boss, we just had a flag thrown in sector three.” One of the many women with bright hair and a neon visor spoke up as you entered the control center. Alpha Team was Kaiba Corp’s top technical lineup, if they claimed a problem, it was real. You sighed as the door slid shut behind you with a hiss. Having been on your feet since six in the morning, you had hoped for a moment to collapse in a chair and nap with your head on the desk. But Kaiba was paying you an obscene amount of money to head the dueling security commission, and by golly, you would get him his money’s worth. “What’s going on?” Striding to your own console at the top of the graduated floor, you pulled up all available information on the two duelists involved in the flagged match. One was a new duelist, with few recorded games, but all were wins; the man had gained entry to this year’s Battle City event by crushing the competition at a local tournament. The other was a twelve year old boy with hundreds of games to his name—a decent duelist, but not extraordinary; he had no chance of making the top eight in this year’s Battle City tournament. You started to compare their deck lists as Alpha Team brought up a video feed of the duel.

“The man’s duel disk is running the duel off-server.” One of the nearest techs explained.

Your head shot up. “Why is the city wi-fi down in sector three?”

“It isn’t. He’s running an override.” As the tech spoke, the man on the screen began his turn, drawing a card.

“So he’s cheating.” You reached across your body to aggressively massage the back of your left shoulder.

“Affirmative. It appears he is running the duel off of his own duel disk in order to use a cheat showing him his opponent’s set cards. Looking over his duel logs, I believe he’s used this trick before, but this is the first time we caught what was happening.”

Studying the various data streams, you admired the skill behind the deception; tampering with Kaiba Corp code required nearly god-tier programming skills. But with rival Schroeder Corp running an aggressive advertising scheme constantly attempting to twist past events to make Kaiba Corp appear untrustworthy and corrupt, this could hardly happen at a worse time. Surely Kaiba had granted you this position due to your reputation for fairness and good judgment, and you intended to live up to his expectations. Very well, you would have the duel suspended remotely, conjure a hologram presence at the scene to explain why, and— “What’s that?” You pointed to a contraption crossing into the edge of the displayed feed. “One moment.” A lavender haired technician adjusted the camera, panning to the right to reveal a national news crew, who were setting up some kind of camera dolly system.

Why on earth had they decided to film this duel, when there were a handful of other, completely legitimate, duels ongoing around the city? Spectacle was the name of the game for Kaiba Corp, and there was no pizzazz in bringing the duel to a fizzling halt. Removing your glasses, you wiped the sweat from the space between your eyes. You didn’t want to let Kaiba down; he had entrusted his tournament’s honor to you alongside his company’s image.

Maybe you could use a more impressive hologram avatar? Usually you conjured Kozmo Farmgirl to represent yourself as the duel commissioner for the tournament, but what if… “Who owns that wall behind the duelists?”

“One moment.” This time an orange haired technician spoke up. As you slid your glasses back on, the woman provided the requested answer. “Cafe la Green. It’s a local business. The wall hides the back of their store from the street.”

You glanced back down at your own monitor, checking your available project funds; you were under budget. But did you have the guts to go through with the idea conjured by your brain just now? Gently, your fingers traced the edges of the KC pin on the lapel of your dark red frock coat—both gifts from Kaiba and Mokuba last Christmas. Placing you in this role showed their trust in your ability to play the game. You would bring your own sense of flashy showmanship to the problem.

“See if you can buy the brick wall.”

“On it.”

“And load up a second hologram avatar for me, in Solid Vision.” “What monster?”

“Ahhhhhhh...” What would have a strong visual impact? “Giga-Tech Wolf.”

“Prepping the projection now.”

You pulled yourself up to your full five foot three inches and planted your fists on your hips. “Does anyone on the news crew have a duel disk?”

“No, but a nearby onlooker does, and she’s chatting with the cameraman.”

“Great. Remotely activate her debris deflection field to protect the news crew.”

“Deflection field up in five seconds.” Replied a green haired tech.

The orange technician announced, “The wall is now property of Kaiba Corp.”

Near the projection screen, the higher pitched voice of the lavender tech added, “Giga-Tech Wolf is ready to rumble.”

Gripping the metal railing separating your platform from the rest of the downward sloping room, you broke into a grin. “On my mark, suspend the duel and have the wolf smash through the wall. Make it a spectacular entrance—destructive and noisy. We want to give the news crew a show, and highlight how solid our holograms can be.”

“Understood. The Creative Department will need a minute to work out the animation.”

“That’s fine.”

It was one of the longest minutes of your life. Each second offered an opportunity to back out of this outrageous plan, but you tightened your grip on the railing and held your resolve. Behind you, the door to the hallway hissed open, but you were too lost in thought to pay it much mind.

“We’re ready when you are.” One of the technicians broke the tension as a simulation of the wolf crashing through the wall played in the corner of the screen displaying the duel in progress. Holding out your right hand with fingers extended, you prepared for a countdown. “Excellent. Suspend the duel and unleash the Solid Vision wolf in three, two—”

“Belay that order.” Kaiba’s low voice interrupted your countdown with demanding force.

You jumped. Whirling to stare up at the man behind you and seeking understanding of his objection, you tried to work out what mistake you had made in your plan. It felt in line with how Kaiba would handle the situation. “Aren’t you supposed to be out there dueling?” You asked, confused.

“I already won what I need to make the semi-finals.” He spoke with his usual intensity. “I was going to invite you and Yugi to join me at the sponsorship dinner this evening.”

“Sure, you know I won’t leave you to face the public alone if you ask me to join you. But please, until then, let me do the job you hired me to do.” It was unlike Kaiba to micromanage. Usually, he let a person work, and then honestly praised or derided the result when it was time to judge its quality.

“Let the duel play out.” He joined you at the railing.

“Kaiba, the man is cheating. I’m not going to let him get away with that. I can tone down the response if I took it too far but—”

“Your response was acceptable. Under normal circumstances I would enjoy watching you terrorize a man breaking the rules of my tournament.”

You started to smile at the compliment, but tilted your head in confusion. “Then what’s the problem?”

Kaiba crossed his arms. “Look at the data. He’s a nobody with a state school degree and average salary as a programmer. No history of dueling until recently, and there were suspicions about his play in the local tournament he won to gain entry to Battle City. I’ve had surveillance on him since the start of the tournament.”

“And you never thought to tell me any of this? I’m supposed to be the one keeping everything honorable in this tournament of yours. We could have kicked him out from the start!”

“There’s no way that idiot managed to write the exploit he’s using. I don’t want to warn him we’ve found his trick until I discover who he's working for.”

“Kaiba, the kid he’s dueling is going to lose unless we stop the duel.”

Shrugging, Kaiba watched the duel playing out on the screen. “He never stood a chance of making the semi-finals.”

“Yes, I know that, but when he loses, let it be a just loss!”

Barely turning his head to look at you, Kaiba asked, “Do you know the kid?” “No.”

“Then why do you care? You admitted he has no particular talent.”

“Because I’m a duelist too, and I know how I would want to be treated.” Which was true, but not the whole reason. It stung your honor to think of being hired to handle cheaters, but allow one to escape instead. “Catching a cheater in front of a news crew can only be good for Kaiba Corp’s image right now.”

“I care less about the public’s perception of my company than I do finding the heart of the problem.”

“As your duel commissioner, I cannot condone this course of action.”

Kaiba finally turned to face you. “And as your employer, your concerns are noted. We’ll let the match play out.”

An angry scoff escaped your lips. “And as your friend, I think this is a mistake!” Taking a deep breath, you gathered your composure. “You hired me for my honesty. Let me use it.”

“I hired you because I thought you would have my back.”

Why did those words hurt so badly? “And I do! But not like this.”

Kaiba shook his head, his blue eyes cold, but his tone confused. “I don’t understand. Aren’t you supposed to be part of my plans? Help me overcome the string of fools who insist on meddling with my life and company?”

“Sure, if you bother to tell me about it. Maybe ask if I’m okay with your plans! Don’t you know I’m an honest person? Don’t you know it’s against my nature to let this play out? I thought that’s why you asked me to do this job!”

“I hired you because I thought you had a modicum of intelligence.” Kaiba countered, stepping closer. “But you’re nothing more than a shortsighted fool.” He towered over you, his pitch dropping to low gravel. “My mistake.”

Incapable of mustering a comeback when faced with an uncomfortable truth, you scowled as your brain scrambled to figure out how to respond. Kaiba spent more hours in a day thinking about the future than you did in a week. “Yeah, well, then… allow me to help you fix your stupid mistake.” Releasing the railing, you fumbled with the KC pin on your jacket lapel before giving up and slipping out of the frock coat entirely. “I quit.”

“I can’t stop you.”

“I know.” Mokuba always ensured you had a penalty free termination clause in any contract detailing your work at Kaiba Corp. Relinquishing your red coat by draping it over the railing at the top of the room, you turned and left, relishing the hiss of the silvery door closing behind you. Around you, the metal walls of the hallway offered no commentary, only hazy reflections of yourself as you adjusted your glasses. What were you supposed to do now? Shouldn’t you feel satisfied? Why was your heart…sad? You crossed your arms. “Is everything alright?” You jumped. “Roland!” Embarrassment at being caught unawares caused blood to rush to your face. “Everything’s…” How could you say you were ‘fine’ when you had just walked away from a friendship fought for each week over the last year.

“You look like mister Kaiba after he loses a duel.” Roland observed, as you frantically uncrossed your arms.

And Roland would know. While you weren’t sure if he was categorized as Kaiba’s assistant, bodyguard, or something else entirely, it was clear the man had stood at his young employer’s side through years of crises and triumphs. He understood. This man must grasp what your parents and siblings could not—the desire to befriend Seto Kaiba. Normally, people made relationships so complex, their feelings and desires beyond your simple ken. But Kaiba, for all the journalists who called him complicated, made sense. Observing him showed he loved his younger brother Mokuba, his company, and the Duel Monsters game. Ignoring his words and instead watching his actions showed him to be a man of intelligence, a man of honor, and a man seeking acceptance from a world which seemed determined to crush him underfoot—no, that wasn’t right, Kaiba didn’t seek belonging, he fought to change the world into a place he felt safe. His words showed he cared for the opinions of few; and most of them were dead.

“Do you regret working for Kaiba?” You asked Roland, breaking the silence.

“No.” Roland adjusted his suit jacket. “Do you regret your friendship with him?”

“I think I just ended it.” Your eyes burned. If only you had sunglasses to hide your eyes like the man before you. When you thought the stillness of the hallway would swallow both of you, Roland sighed.

“I worked for Gozaburo Kaiba before he legally adopted the two boys and granted them his name, back when Kaiba Corp still made military vehicles and systems. My personal life was in shambles, and my conscience wasn’t much better, as I watched my employer twist a child into a baron of industry.”

You shoved your hands into your pockets, listening intently.

“When Seto bested his stepfather and claimed the company for himself, I was the first to pledge my loyalty to the new Kaiba Corp president, even if he was only fourteen at the time.” Straightening his shoulders, the man continued. “This job has prevented me from ever finding a wife, fathering children, or taking a vacation.” He laughed. “But I don’t regret quietly shepherding two brilliant boys into capable young men. One day, my allegiance may earn me a bullet to the heart, but it’s worth it.” Starting to reach out to you, he pulled back his hand awkwardly. “I think you see it too—the appeal of cold blue eyes and the contained force of a star burning itself to extinction as it tries to protect, fight, and create.” Without doubt, Roland was overqualified for his occasional work as a tournament announcer.

“I long hoped Mr. Kaiba would find himself a friend. Now he has you and Yugi, although my genius employer has no idea how to process loyalty or kindness. Give him a second chance, and he might surprise you.”

What on earth was the correct response to such a declaration? Before you could formulate an answer, Roland had turned and entered the control center behind you. How were you supposed to befriend a man like Seto Kaiba—and yet, how could you ever make your mind settle for anything less than striving to stand beside him as an equal, a creative, and a friend? ______ If you enjoyed this story, consider checking out my reader-insert masterlist here! There are several other fics featuring Kaiba. This piece was originally written to be displayed as part of the Affirmation/Transformation museum exhibit. You can see it's digital place in the exhibit here, where it is the only story submitted to the Rivalry/Oppositions category. Also, you can check out @gwenpools-aesthetic, who is the mastermind behind the project.

#Yugioh #Seto Kaiba #Seto Kaiba x Reader #Roland #Duel Monsters #Platonic Reader Insert #Reader x Seto Kaiba

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