#despite it being only so because of the colour chemistry it has with my physical figure and NOT because pink is my colour or vibe

[brokoala-soup]

my healing arc will be the story of me mending my relationship with the colour pink

[shushiyuii]

Subject R4NB00 and Subject T3CHN0 (Part 3 of Subject T0M Au)

AAAAAA Part 3! I Hope you guy’s enjoy Phil’s story!

Warnings: Fighting (It’s a misunderstanding) and mentions of fearplay

Words: 1.3K

Document – Subject R4NB00 and Subject T3CHN0

Assigned to: Doctor Philza Watson (High standing)

R4NB00 is a tall humanoid standing above 8 ft tall. They have a black and white fur coat, a thin fur coat to be described as silky. Their coat is black on one side and white on the other, their hair is the same but in the opposite way to his fur.

They have heterochromia in their eyes, one being green and the other a bright red. They also have horns of small height; they aren’t sharp and rather small so they wouldn’t hurt anybody with them. They also have a thin tail, with it being fluffy at the end.

Subject R4NB00 isn’t the biggest fan of the regular attire assigned to all subjects, they rather wear a tuxedo embedded with the facility’s logos. They are also timid, avoiding conflict whenever possible. They also can speak but prefer not to due to being shy, they will only communicate with a select few.

Their abilities consist of having the ability to teleport at will and communicate in an unknown language. They also have weaknesses being unable to touch the water and having a state of mind of when they aren’t in control of themselves, they talk in their unknown language in this state and teleport randomly, they are to be awoken as soon as possible unless they are in this state for a test.

 Subject T3CHN0, also known as Technoblade or the Blood God. Standing above 3 metres tall. Subject T3CHN0 is boar-like in appearance with tusks, muscular build, pig-like ears, tail, and claws.

He has pink coloured fur with a texture akin to one of silky and soft. Subject T3CHN0 wears the facilities uniform.

At first, Subject T3CHN0 may appear aggressive, dangerous, and monotone. And that is true to an extent, with regards to rumours and incidents including Subject T3CHN0 a majority of what happened were either with caution or happened with some sort of reasoning important to the subject, they do not normally breach containment.

Subject T3CHN0 is approachable whilst being aggressive, he wouldn’t harm anyone, he’s saved several lives, to many Subject T3CHN0 is a hero.

Subject T3CHN0 abilities consist of being able to handle harsh temperatures and brute strength, easily breaking through walls and lifting cars. He is also quite knowledgeable in means of armour, swords, combat and oddly potatoes. Subject T3CHN0 is also very intelligent and important to the facility.

Entry 01 – 19/09/20—

So J’Schlatt’s asked me to do occasional entries in order to keep track of behaviours and shit, because of what happened yesterday, WITH TECHNO BREAKING OUT! BECAUSE I WAS SICK! To be fair nobody told him, despite not showing much affection. Techno is quite the worrier.

In regards to the incident, Techno has been punished accordingly for it, by taking away his sword collection and he’s pissed about it. Not much I can do about it though.

Ranboo was pretty freaked out after Techno had broken out, so I’ve talked to Wil about Ranboo seeing Tommy again and said yes so that’ll be coming up soon. That’s all I got.

Entry 02 – 20/09/20—

So, it was arranged that the three of them would be meeting up Tomorrow, that way Techno could apologise to Tommy, much to his dismay.

Also, Techno decided to apologise to Ranboo by just grabbing the dude and forcing him to cuddle with a small sorry? Fucking adorable if I’m honest.

Besides the usual amount of overwhelming paperwork, it was actually a pretty chill day.

Report 21/09/20— Meeting between Subject T0M, Subject R4NB00 and Subject T3CHN0

The meeting between 3 subjects was successful.

Before the meeting began, Wilbur seemed a little uneasy about Subject T3CHN0 in a sense of being worried for his own subject with regards to the recent incident. When the three initially met up, there was a bit of misunderstanding.

Subject T0M has misunderstood T3CHN0 intentions of meeting up with them. And instinctively grew in size and grabbed Subject R4NB00 and pulled them close to their chest in a protective manner.

Subject T3CHN0 is quite fond of Subject R4NB00, in a fury thought Subject T0M was going to hurt R4NB00.

So a fight almost broke between the two until the two researchers intervened, Subject T0M looked confused about the interruption but immediately remembered the circumstances and went to protect the other two, but T3CHN0 had beaten them to it.

The two growled at each other furiously, either one wanting to gain the upper hand. But then Philza told T3CHN0 to let them go, to which he denied his request, Wilbur made an effort to comfort T0M by yelling out that he’d be fine, but only got a saddened whine in response.

Eventually, the two did not move, in fear one was gonna hurt the other so both made the decision to let whoever they were holding go. Which worked and the meeting went well with a lot of them bonding. Subject T3CHN0 also apologised in regards to the recent incident.

Entry 03 – 24/09/20—

So Today I met up with Wil to spend time with him for the day, and also get to know Tommy a small bit, despite my worries it actually went really well. He and Wil are a pretty good pair in my opinion and honestly, Tommy is adorable.

Despite the accident with Tommy putting Wilbur in his mouth for the first time ever. It was really fun! I look forward to seeing more of the guy!

Entry 04 – 26/09/20—

Update on the two of them, Techno got his sword collection back and he’s been pretty chill since the incident, it’s been pretty good for him. But as for Ranboo, he recently had an Ender walk.

Which wasn’t a very pleasant experience trying to run around the facility to find him, he’s okay now though, his head’s just a little fuzzy but nothing else other than that seems wrong. Glad the guys are okay, don’t want him hurt or anything.

The funny thing that came out of this is that Ranboo now has to clean out his cell of flowers and dirt.

Entry 05 – 29/09/20—

Today, Wilbur came to help out with work since there’s been a lot of paperwork and meetings recently, I rarely have time for myself these days it seems.

By the time I came back Ranboo, Techno and Wil were chatting, it looked pretty wholesome if I’m honest. I’m glad Wilburs making friends.

He said when he was taking care of them, he and Techno had some roughhousing. Wonder what that must have been like!

Entry 06 – 30/09/20—

Well, since that interview on that popular show, I’ve had a lot of people come in for becoming an intern and some of them were just either unqualified or not just what I’m looking for, I’ve referred them to other people in the building.

Now, there is one that’s caught my eye, his name’s Tubbo Underscore, studying both physics and chemistry. Excelling at it even, he’s top of his class in one of the highest state universities.

Not only that the kid is actually quite talented with explosives surprisingly and has a strange obsession with bees. He seems very interesting. I’ll bring him in for an interview.

Entry 07 – 3/10/20—

So good news! Tubbo got the job and today was his first day here. He was an extreme help and actually got along really well with both Techno and Ranboo.

Actually, he seems to have taken a really big liking to Ranboo and Ranboo has definitely taken a liking to him as well with Ranboo constantly asking about the boy like “When will he be back?” and talking about the positives of him.

Luckily, Tubbo has a lot of spare time, so I’ll bring the boy in for a lot of shifts. I’m looking forward to working with him.

(End of document)

[life-rewritten]

Lovely Writer Episode 3/4; The Discovery of Identity; Transformation, Perceptions and Hidden Ideals

Writing about this show is interesting, mostly because I have so much to say about everything. With this show it’s layers upon layers upon layers, it’s a lot of information even if it seems like a cheesy BL and like a typical storyline. The story tackles with so much irony and hints and clues to unveil and also representations of real life that takes sensitivity and time to understand and acknowledge. The show is so good already in 3-4 episodes and it’s also at times soft and romantic whilst also at times real and painful about some of the truths about society and the acting and writing industry. The director, screen writers and producers of the show have come with this ideology that they are making a BL storyline but they do not want to repeat the same mistakes as the previous, no instead they will call it out, educate the audience and also still have flawed characters learn and grow from their actions. That’s why with this show even the villains are not villains per say but humans who are forced to act the way they do to survive, they’re understandable and have reasons for why they will end up being an obstacle but also this show has no heroes, at first it seems that Gene and Sib the main characters are going to be perfect, and one dimensional caricatures that fall in love with no personality, depth or growth but actually both of them are flawed, have interesting perspectives on things, attitudes to people and ways of thinking that is vital to connecting them to where the story is going. And that’s brilliant. Whilst episode 3 is more information and outlook into the other characters as Gene deals with pressure of the industry and people and his new feelings for Nubsib, episode 4 is a softer , calmer episode dealing with Gene and Nubsib actually making their relationship mean something to the audience, showing that they could have a chance to grow a healthy, romantic love story and not the toxic, worrisome ones we feared.  And I adored both episodes. So this essay we are going to be focusing on the love story of Gene and Nubsib portrayed in these two episodes, but also how it connects to Gene’s self awareness, and also unveiling Nubsib’s character more and changing him from being seen in a sinister scary light to a soft romantic light instead.

The Price of Ambition: The Effects of Pressure

So First of all Episode 3 maps out what the writers and director want to achieve with this show. I tend to think this show becomes like a self insert for the director/writer. What they make Gene say about the way a story should be written, is also what they want to tackle and achieve with this. The nightmare scene discusses about the physical nature of BLs when it comes to NC scenes, the show mocks the lack of actually talking about the reality about what that entails by showing us Gene learn about positions and educate himself on that topic, but also it mocks the audience who expected from the books for the show to be more explicit and aggressive with NC since that’s what happens in the novel with Gene and Nubsib. Gene says in the nightmare scene that all he wants is a story that does not need that type of content to get fans but focuses on the depth of its characters, fleshing out their romance and showing why they are in love, a way to make the audience focus on the humanity of the characters as they fall in love. And that’s exactly what immediately the show starts to show, we start to immediately after the nightmare scene see Nubsib’s true colours and realise he’s not just with Gene for physical chemistry but he’s actually warm, comfortable and his love for Gene is actually quite pure and innocent despite him using inauthenticity to show it. So that’s important to think about because the next episode goes into more detail as well about these two’s romance, we start to really flesh out our characters opinions on companionship and love and we evade a NC scene by focusing on gentleness, devotion and protective love that Nubsib has for Gene as he ensures that he treats Gene properly and does the right thing and wait for consent. That’s one of the best things about this show, it will talk about the issues of BL industry but it’s not going to repeat the same mistakes its making. Yes Nubsib seems like a typical controlling, manipulative BL lead but actually he’s different and all we have to do is wait to understand why he’s hiding who he is and what his aims are. But the show is also not afraid to talk about flawed characters, and problematic actions, we may have characters that make mistakes because that’s life but they will learn from those actions. This is why I’m really in love with this show.

 Episode 3-4 also tackles transformation and the discovery and awareness of self. Especially since in episode 3 the theme is pressure, the pressure to conform which makes Hin want to start writing new BL novels like Gene did so he can get more success and notice from his writing, pressure to be something different like Aey has to do because he’s pressured to act romantic on set with Nubsib with people who objectify and sexualise them, and pressure for Gene to write more NC scenes and lose his own values and ideas on what he wants his content to be like. So there is this idea of pressure causing characters to transform and push down parts of them self.

Desperation and Transformation

I do not know where Hin is going in the storyline of course episode 4 focuses most of the story on the development and intimacy of Gene and Sib’s new relationship but in episode 3, I still feel like I could be right about Hin. Hin is a mirror image of Gene just like Aey is a mirror image of Nubsib. Both of them are exposing the hidden flaws of the characters.  The more we focus on him the more we have a storyline for him building, we’ve been told he wants to be a writer,  he’s not making money, he’s not being noticed, he has a lot of things that he wants to do but his sacrifices hint that there is a desperation in him that I think it’s really important to observe and notice that’s going to make him soon snap or act out. In episode 3 Hin mentions his new BL novel more, and he asks Gene to look into it. I do need to mention that Hin and Gene have essentially the same outline/novel idea because it’s both based on the love story of Gene and Nubsib brewing. Gene is writing about an actor and a writer falling in love with each other, Hin is writing about an editor in chief falling in love with an actor it’s really similar, like really really similar as a layout, it may be different because he doesn’t always see them but what are the odds that he is writing out the same dynamics as Gene’s new novel and asking to Gene to look at it. If the novel ends up being similar isn’t he essentially a rival to Gene? Where is Hin’s storyline going? No matter how much I want to say his journey is to write and become popular and to assert himself with his BL writing, I just don’t see it not being more important?

 All I see is a layout for Gene and him being rivals even though it doesn’t seem like it right now but for him to be like Gene you’re my idol, I look up to you and I really love you, yeah positivity, it’s great he’s inspired by Gene, it’s great that he feels these emotions towards Gene, and there’s no hostility, but I do think that if he thinks Gene is taking writing for granted, or doing something that makes him look like he’s taking that path for granted, then he would be affected, and be disappointed, and disappointment breeds resentment so I think it’s really interesting Hin isn’t being noticed by the publisher, he’s in a desperate situation right now,  pressured right now to do something good and so he’s started to start writing BLs similar to Gene, I can’t help see similarities to ideas about plagiarism, because twice they have mentioned him being immensely helpful and writing the same ideas as Gene, I can’t help notice that they’re both writing for the same publisher and one of their new books is going to be seen as more fit for the publisher, and three Tee has directed and loved characters that seem positive and obsessed with the main character only for that character to be revealed to be the obsession drove that person to villainy. Pressure and Desperation reaches a height with him, and he reacts by giving into that and being an obstacle to Gene later. I love Hin right now but I can’t help thinking he’s going to be an obstacle to Gene and Nubsib, I can’t help thinking he’s an obstacle to writing path of Gene because   he really could sacrifice Gene to become like Gene, to replace Gene, because he needs money and notoriety to make it as a  writer.  Hin also mentioning Gene as an idol is mirroring Nubsib because that’s exactly what Nubsib also sees him as, Nubsib relates to Hin, because  he understands being affected and looking up to him the same way.  Gene gives him a positive feeling and makes him want to do well, and pushes him to do more I’m guessing.

There is twice that Gene is mentioned as an idol to others, he’s an idol to Hin and he’s an idol to Aey. Nubsib does not like that Aey has read Gene’s novels, he does not like the fact that Aey seems really supportive towards Gene. One Nubsib can call out bullshit, because he’s king of faking and pretending,   and as mentioned Aey is like Nubsib’s mirror character, I think Nubsib knows how fake Aey is and he sees Aey as a rival. I really do think the mirror characters may be rivals to each other to and that’s the pattern. Two is Nubsib jealous because he thinks there’s any chance for Gene and Aey to get close? The jealousy and frustration and possessiveness he feels for Gene around Aey is something that needs to be noticed, because Sib definitely has an issue with Aey only he and Aey knows about. I don’t know why he’s so upset about Aey’s actions because he’s literally doing the same thing, he sees Gene as an idol etc, so why’s he upset about Aey unless he sees Aey in him  and that he’s just as fake as he is being. So there’s two reactions from Nubsib towards the two who mention they look up to Gene, one is jealousy and disgust and anger towards Aey and the other is support and understanding towards Hin.

In the episode where the nightmare scene talks about how Gene wants to focus on characters and not focus on the sexual relationships of the BL storyline, not focus on the toxicity of the characters but the depth and reality about their relationship and personalities, we finally get to see the answer to our question, Nubsib is 100% in love with Gene, there is no  weird scary feelings about him in both episode 3 and 4. Episode 3 exposes how he feels for Gene, his natural state and personality with Gene, even when Gene is not watching him, he’s still devoted and caring about him when Gene is sick, he doesn’t need to do that if he’s being creepy and evil and what not, every single thing he does with Gene it’s like there’s a hold on him, and he forgets where he is and it’s just filled with ultimate devotion, ultimate care, and three Nubsib is someone who cares and cherishes Gene so much that his consent is important to him. Nubsib is very practical and serious about issues with consent, even with the kiss, he ensures Gene is okay with it, even in episode 4, he struggles to not give in to Gene’s drunk demands telling Gene he’ll wait till he’s ready. He’s not forceful, he’s not controlling, all he wants is for Gene to be near him and okay.

 Now you could argue that there is a line between non consent and manipulation/coercion but I do think Nubsib was falling more into the line of coercion a little bit as first like manipulating a need for a kiss, but the most important thing that has been noticed since episode 2, is that it’s not by force, he gives Gene a lot of options repeatedly, even if he acts all sad to get guilt, or what he wants. It’s also not because he is sad that Gene is like let’s do whatever it is, it’s more like Gene sees it as opportunity to get better with his writing since Sib inspires him to write, but also he feels comfortable and safe with Nubsib. Nubsib asking for consent is something I really appreciate about him and something I like about him so much.

  Gene’s self discovery is also explored in episode 4 more when we have an episode that just focuses on him and Nubsib starting their relationship. There is a transformation of Gene who is avoidant and evasive of companionship to someone who starts to want that and see the value in that by living with Nubsib for almost a month. By the end of episode 3, his fear of vulnerability and the truth makes him regress and try to bring back what he sees as normal and get some kind of control of his environment that Nubsib has successfully invaded in.

Nubsib; The catalyst for transformation and inspiration

Nubsib causes Gene to have a transformation. Not that being an introvert is a bad thing, I’m an introvert and I also dislike always being forced to go out and hang out in large crowds. But it’s about how Nubsib’s presence is essentially making Gene become better, discover his loneliness in distancing himself from people due to his obsession and focus on writing. Nubsib makes Gene feel good and that’s why you see a difference in him from episode 3-4 after spending just almost a month with him. Even though I was confused with his transformation this episode just because he seemed more outgoing, a bit more open to people, as we see in episode 4, his work is what pulls him away from people but also it’s how he feels when he’s surrounded by people who make him feel uncomfortable. People who bring out worry, insecurity and more. He rather just focus on writing than deal with those people.

I do agree that Nubsib is invasive until episode 4 ha. Gene is an introvert. And as one the way Nubsib does invade his space was a lot, but Nubsib just has feelings for Gene, he’s a doe eyed puppy around him, he loses himself basically when he gets into caring mode with Gene, he doesn’t try to hide his support and eagerness to be with Gene and show him affection,  because it’s so automatic for him to  take care of him, protect him, treat him, because he sees Gene as a romantic partner so I do agree it is uncomfortable but that’s not the reason why Gene is even weird about it. Episode 3 and 4 is about Gene’s internalised homophobia about his sexuality. When Gene starts to put two and two about his feelings for Nubsib he explodes with anxiety and anger because he’s still struggling to accept who he is, but also he has a lot of misunderstandings and biased opinions about what being gay/queer actually means. Because of the way BL has made him view it as unrealistic, shallow, and well toxic, not that being gay is that, but he believes him ending up that way makes him like the characters in his novel, makes him be part of a world he’s seen so negatively about, something he’s trying to escape from because of seeing it as shallow and toxic. When Nubsib invades Gene’s space as well, its for positive reasons  it’s not  him purposely trying to make Gene uncomfortable, it’s to help and make sure Gene is okay, safe and cared for. So it’s not because Gene is scared by Nubsib’s actions because he’s scary but it’s because of panic and repressed feelings he’s felt for him since episode 1. So these are ways we can tell that Nubsib’s feelings under his façade is genuine, he’s just like Aey and others where they are inspired and affected by Gene.

Nubsib: The catalyst for transformation and self discovery

The past two episodes instead of seeing Nubsib being ‘shady’ just like what Gene wanted from the nightmare scene, we saw Nubsib’s good side. His genuine personality with Gene is exactly how he treats him. What I’ve decided with Sib’s character is he’s not evil, manipulative or someone so powerful he thinks he can get with everything. He’s not greedy or scary. He’s just a spoilt child. A child who wants attention, a child who feels neglected, hence he acts like how a spoilt child does, he manipulates the situation to get what he wants and is  a brat, but acts like an innocent person on the surface to get what he wants but he’s in a position of being used to getting what he wants, a position of power especially with Tum who he screams at and shouts at, that’s what a child does, just throws tantrums and make it hard for the person they know they have control over. He’s just a child who’s naïve, puppy like, who wants Gene to look at him. But he’s also spoilt because he’s in a place of privilege, so him being spoilt makes him treat others badly, but Gene makes him different, he wants to be someone better for Gene.    

As of episode 1, it has been hinted that Gene is attracted to Nubsib, he feels this inherent care for Nubsib, wants to hang around him and is also curious about him naturally. He is affected by Nubsib’s presence, and his presence  is the the thing inspiring him and makes him want to write. He’s being inspired by his real feelings but doesn’t know that because he has IH. So the question was in episode 3, as the show started to hint about it; if Gene knows about his identity and sexuality and who he is or was he learning about himself through finally falling in love with Nubsib. I thought he was learning about it but episode 4 made me think he’s known and has just been avoiding it. Gene isn’t homophobic as I’ve seen people worry he is, he has a very ignorant, uneducated, societal opinion on what those relationships is like. So Gene is like very similar to another character Tee directed Type from TharnType (before all those who detest this idea start to click of listen to the explanation),  the thing with Type was his was psychological trauma and hate and pain making him have the mindset he had, he never got to know or understand who he was because he tried hard to avoid thinking about anything to do with sexuality. With Gene, it’s his writing that makes him act sometimes homophobic, makes him overreact when there’s ideas to him being queer/gay or being in a situation like that, the way he acts is because of the corruption of the industry he has had to witness; its why he thinks its all shallow, no substance, it’s so ironic and funny to me because he’s about to find out that what these stories portray or the boys love does have substance, because now he’s falling in love, like real love, authentic love he now understands the real feelings behind wanting to write a boys love story about just two men in a relationship, he now understands the sexual attraction behind some things, why it’s just like any other novel about real life relationships, he understands why characters in BL might be more important than just what the industry is using it for.

Gene’s way of educating himself as the show goes on in this industry is so great to me and one of the reasons I adored episode 3. Opening himself, researching and trying to understand more about things is so important because

1.       He’s a writer trying to do well by this genre but he also feels uncomfortable about

2.       He’s someone represented by this genre as he is  queer character.

3.       He’s literally going through self discovery the more he writes his novel

 For example the nightmare scene in episode 3 is the catalyst of that episode. It what spirals the transformation in Gene’s character we start to see, from being withdrawn to starting to be comfortable and open. He goes through the nightmare and Nubsib shows him care when sick. (That’s what he represents to him, comfort, healing, warmth, companionship, protection). Because he feels cared for by him, he also starts to want to show the same to Nubsib to show him the same care, warmth that Nubsib was showing him etc. And because he has been holding unto his feelings for Nubsib, has been feeling overwhelmed by his fear about them, when he gets drunk to avoid dealing with him sending him away, he blurts out all he’s felt, he becomes the most truthful at that moment because he’s been holding unto all these thoughts since he first met him. But he also says to Nubsib in episode 4 that he reminds him of a lead BL character and it’s like aww he complimented his looks but the fact that Nubsib reminds him of that isn’t a good thing to Gene remember, he doesn’t want to end up like BL characters because he thinks there’s no substance, no truth, just toxicity with that situation so it’s something he panics about that it’s ironic because he’s essentially falling for someone and playing out a BL trope. 

BL: The pressure of transformation and authenticity 

Another thing meta about this show is the inclusion and mirroring of Bad Engineer the series. I mentioned in my previous essay whilst Bad Engineer is another meta call out to the industry it also could play a role as a shadowing device to show you similarities and differences between Nubsib and Aey the actors who play Kin and Bun the caricatures and characters that are exaggerated. It kind of exposes the thoughts and ideas about these two in an interesting way. Let me explain.  Bad engineer starts of with Bun being forced to get the attention of Kinn who is aggressive and seen as wanted and powerful but too scary to go near to. After he hugs Kin we already are hinted from Nubsib’s audition line that Kin could not let go of the mark Bun left on him and becomes essentially obsessive and controlling over Bun wanting to be with Bun. Okay first of all it’s already calling out and exaggerating the obsession that Nubsib seems to have for Gene, he would go to lengths to hide who he is, make up excuses to be near him and hide his power and privilege (by lying he’s poor, and about his housing situation essentially lying about the power he probably does hold over people) which is why his exact words he says to Gene in the audition is foreshadowing, he knows who Gene is before, he’s been affected by whoever Gene was to him in the past and he’s in love with him. Just like Kin proceeds become hooked onto Bun.  

 What’s really funny is that Aey is playing a character that is very vulnerable and gentle and sweet, like what is normally perceived as a typical feminine uke stereotype. It’s interesting because its because he gives of this vibes that he was chosen for this audition, but also in reality he’s wearing a mask to act like this to Gene and everyone around him especially the vulnerable act, where he makes you feel guilty for being in his way or making you feel pitiful for how he’s treated by Nubsib. The fact that Tawan (played by Mhok in the series) is a second lead in bad engineer the series and Mhok is essentially in the second lead role for Aey, he’s the one behind the scenes unrequitedly loving and caring and worrying about the main lead but is always neglected or pushed aside for the other main which is mirroring how Aey isn’t seeing how Mhok cares for him (he gets so jealous if you notice whenever he has to see Aey and Nubsib together) and is pushing him away to focus on his hunt for fame by getting Nubsib’s attention.

Nubsib has a different type of similarity with Kin. It’s how people perceive him that’s similar to how Kin is on the surface, but also Kinn is an exaggerated character, who is toxic and Nubsib as finally shown isn’t going to be toxic or problematic because the writers don’t want him to be that way. For some reason Kin is filled with anger and is aggressive and loud, Nubsib isn’t as angry as Kin but he also expresses his distaste of things when it doesn’t go his way with anger and tantrums to Tum especially because he’s a spoilt child. Kin is possessive, aggressive and obsessive and even though Nubsib isn’t like that in a large scale, he has some of those traits, he is possessive with Gene, and protective and jealous easily when it comes to him thinking something is in the way. Kin is a trope, he’s written to make fun of semes in BLs like Fighter from WhyRU, someone seen as cold and indifferent to people who is meant to be seen as rough and mean, rich, but then the story unveils a softer side when he’s with his partner later. Or Kin also reminds of toxic Kdrama male characters (its not just BL this trope is used), like Gu Jun Pyo from boys over flowers who is just like Kin because he’s rich and spoilt. The reason why Kin and Nubsib is similar is because is that Kin likes to get what he wants, he’s just as invasive, he’s forceful (though as mentioned Nubsib isn’t as problematic with this as Kin), he’s just as determined to do what it takes to get his partner. Both portray this demenour around them where they are not meant to be messed with. 

And I think that’s important about Nubsib, there’s some kind of power and control he has that makes people not mess around with him when  Gene is not in front of him, he doesn’t try to be nice or kind as he does when he’s with Gene. Things that they don’t have in common is that for Gene, Nubsib is the opposite, he’s gentle to Gene, because he’s determined to a better person to him, he’s manipulative but he’s not forceful or aggressive towards him, although he wears a mask, he’s actually authentically automatically the way he is with Gene as we have seen in both episodes. Gene transforms him; he makes him kind, caring and sweet. Gene is a prized person to him; so valuable and worthy that he doesn’t even think he’s worthy as he is for him hence why he chooses to be better with him,  he doesn’t see Gene as less than him but the others he does which is something that does need to be worked on. But if he is spoilt and privilege, if he’s been so used to people treating him this way then I can see why he can be this way. So Kin and Nubsib’s character calls out Nubsib’s flaws and Aey and Bun’s character also show what Aey wants people to view him as on the surface and Mhok and Tawan are mirroring the same roles. 

Bad engineer being written by Gene is so funny to me since all he does is like complain how much he hates everything to do with tropes like it, so there must be some kind of shame inside him for him writing it to remove pressure from his company even though he doesn’t want BL to mean that. It also again shadows Hin’s desperation as Hin takes on his own BL novel, because Gene must have been so desperate when he first wrote it because he was writing it just to also please people and be noticed as a writer more.

Lovely Writer is it obvious despite my late releases of my analysis that I am obsessed and I have high respect and love for this show? The fact that there is problematic worries in the storyline, there are flawed characters and action in the plot, but they’re so real and human. The fact that this show talks about BL, and is trying to make fun of it, call it out but then the characters in it are also falling into some of its tropes and ideas. But it does show that with love sometimes people do get into these situations even though it’s seen as problematic or weird, but it’s dealing with sexual attraction, showing instant connections and portraying passion, sometimes when people are into someone you can get crazy, possessive, sometimes you may even want to be with that person all the time. It’s really important that the show is drawing a line between what is toxic and what is not, what is romantic and what is not, the authenticity of romance vs the idealism of romance in tv shows and  books. The fact that Gene and Nubsib are falling in love with each other and are going to go through a lot together I think shows me that at the end I will also think they’re meant to be together, they’re like a realistic couple falling in love. Gene feels real to me. Nubsib feels human to me even though we’re uncovering his personality. All of the characters feel real and dimensional to me. It’s something I love about the show, it just feels so real despite being literally a BL that’s making fun of how unrealistic BLs are, it’s so real, it’s so meta, it’s so important and I really think it’s needed in this genre, and industry. I think it’s such a great, great show. I love Tee, because he’s good at directing these layered, meta, deep shows always able to provide reasons for why the story is the way it is, what its trying to show, why the characters are the way they are and make mistakes, there’s so much depth to his stories and the things he chooses to focus each time he does a show. In a way Gene’s character development and growth is so important to me because to him the BL industry and genre is bad, and the show seems like that’s what its message is as well, because that’s what his perception seems to portray only, as Gene falls for Nubsib who is literally like a trope that reminds him of the stories he seems to hate (especially when he discovers his inauthenticity) ,  as he falls in love and finds out more about his relationship, his sexuality, his identity as he starts to realise how BL should be written, why it should be created, that there can be authentic love stories in BL,  he can change what BL represents for people like him. I just think its fantastic to see him with a negative perception on writing BL to finally understanding why it should be written but it should be written in a different way, or changed to fit a different way, instead of letting corruption happen he shouldn’t give in but should try and change. He may be making fun of the fact that BL is known for its weird tropes like NC, but NC is real its just attraction between two people, as long as its not toxified or problematic its just another way people can show feelings, there’s so many het series that have NC scenes but when it comes to BL its seen as a fetish or something negative when really if done right its just two people being like normal couple and giving into their affections for each other. Yeah I think this is amazing to talk about and portray. This is one of my favourite shows right now, and I’m so eager about where we’re going with this. Because I just love the layers, the message and the story.

[aces-of-the-center-court]

hello dear anon! thank you for the request and for loving out first date headcanons! I’m really glad you enjoyed it, it’s one of my favourites. :) we apologise that this took so long, it was quite difficult to write because I had to do my research for the date spots but I hope this turned out alright. I hope you enjoy :)

- mod sunny.

first date with iwaizumi & sugawara

Sakusa Kiyoomi: Home Date

He would ask you out for a date at his house, thinking it would be the best possible spot – no outside germs or crowds

To his house?? On the first date?! You would be flustered at first but later realise the reason behind the date location and mentally punch yourself for having such impure thoughts

When you go over to his house, you would make sure to bring a small gift (after making sure to sanitise the surface of it ofc)

Once inside, you would ask for directions to the washroom to wash your hands where you would realise that he keeps his things very tidy

You both would then settle down at the living room and decide to play board games, where the two of you would just chill and have fun together instead of making it more competitive

A few games later, you two would then cook up something to go with the movie you rented

You would make sure to tell Sakusa that you had already sanitised the cover and disc before bringing it over, and he would mutter softly about how he trusts you about this since you two have an understanding for hygiene

You would both move to his room for the movie, seated closely next to each other, but not yet touching; it would be slightly unnerving – both your hearts would be beating loudly against your chests despite it not being the least bit intimate

By the time the movie came to an end, you two would have only remembered half the movie as you were both too conscious of the proximity between the two of you and the fact you were in his room

Before leaving, the two of you would clean up the spot you were both seating and he would offer to send you home but would take detours in order to spend more time together

To be honest, he wouldn’t want to separate from you, but he would not say it out loud since he wouldn’t want to be seen as selfish

Strolling in the park, the two of you would exchange some conversations and share comfortable silence, just enjoying both of your presences

He would probably be okay with your touches as he’s comfortable with you since your habits of staying clean helps too, but still not very likely to extend to kisses or hugs during the first date

“Be careful on your way back.” He would say quietly when you two arrive in front of the station and wave you goodbye before you leave.

Oikawa Tooru: Disneyland Date

He would pick you up early from your home, so he gets to spend more time with you during the travel from Miyagi to Tokyo

“You know, there’s a myth about going to Disneyland for the first date…” You would bring up nonchalantly on the train ride to the amusement park, referring to the legend that couples who go to Tokyo Disneyland for the first date would be destined to break up

Ah… Of course, Y/N-chan would have heard of such myths too… Bearing a troubled smile, he would respond, “Mm. I know of that too. Y/N-chan, do believe in it? I don’t.”

“Apparently, if the couple share a kiss within the park, their relationship will last longer… that’s what they say too. What contradictions, I wouldn’t believe such things.”

“Y/N-chan…” He would look at you with tears in his eyes, touched. Did you want to kiss- He would then knock himself out of it, “That’s right! I can’t believe people actually believed in that. Let’s have a great time, the both of us.” He would flash a charming smile at you

During the long ride – from Miyagi to Tokyo and to Disneyland – the two of you would nap on the train with your head lying on his shoulder and his on yours

Upon arrival, Oikawa would be making loud excitable enthusiastic noises while you would be equally excited despite not reacting as openly as he would

After purchasing tickets, Oikawa would pull you along to the gift shop by the entrance to procure adorable matching headbands and trinkets and would snap a selfie of the two of you wearing it – it’s something he had always wanted to do

Checking the lines at the attractions, you two would go to the popular attractions with lines that would never seem to die down first – according to both your intensive research

During the rides, the two of you would be seated close while enjoying the rides or grabbing on to each other for dear life

Afterwards, you two would grab some snacks, where Oikawa would be taking a lot of selfies and pictures of the food, before heading for the afternoon shows and parade

Throughout the date, there would be a lot of natural physical touches, sitting close together on the rides, hitting him on his arms when he does stupid things that made you laugh, and holding hands to make sure the both of you do not get lost in the crowd

While waiting for the rides, there would always be something to talk about – the pictures and videos that the both of you took, discussing about the rides etc.

Right around sunset, the both of you would try canoes for a cruise ride. The view would be stunning, but Oikawa would be staring at you the entire time and trying to sneak a picture

For dinner, you two would have it at the banquet hall while discussing the long day and how you guys would be so tired you can sleep immediately after reaching home

Although he doesn’t believe in myths, he would still be quite wary of it, so during the night fireworks, he would call you softly and lean in for a kiss in front of the Cinderella’s castle

Perhaps sleeping immediately from the fatigue of the long day is no longer an option now as the you would probably be too red in the face from thinking about the kiss to sleep.

Kageyama Tobio: Aquarium Date

After his thorough research and advices that he received from his upperclassmen (mainly Sugawara), he would decide to invite you to the aquarium at Sendai

He would be rather nervous in the beginning, wondering if he prepared everything necessary but would also be excited about seeing the aquatic creatures

At the aquarium, the two of you would be fascinated by the school of fishes swimming in groups, the stingrays, rockfishes and others, which would mean many photographs and videos taken by the both of you

He would not be able to hide his enthusiasm – in an animated way, with lots of ‘wow’ and ‘woah’ from him, he would be openly captivated by the fishes that did not seem to dislike him despite how close his face was to the tank

Kageyama would slowly start to loosen up and relax throughout the date, except when you would unexpectedly grab on his hand of course

Physical contact would be rather natural with you leading it e.g. grabbing his arm to bring him to the next exhibit – his heart would beat unnaturally fast when you do and he’d lose focus of the sea creatures

He would realise that he seemed to be having the most fun and would find it embarrassing that he lost control of his enthusiasm; but when he sees you having fun observing the fishes, he would be relieved and forget about the fishes for a moment while watching you – he’d then snap out of it and tell himself to stay cool in your presence

You two would make small conversations when walking to the other tanks and discussing about the animals – how some fishes look dramatic and scary, cute and small – comparing the fishes to some of his teammates

“This fish looks like Tsukishima, looks like it has a scowl on its face.” Kageyama would compare, watching it closely with his face almost touching the glass, eyes squinting. You would try to suppress your laughter at his antics but would agree with him

A machine that can project your colouring of sea creature on a screen next to it would pique the interest of both of you, hence would try it out without a second thought

The two of you would be so amazed after watching your very own sea creature creations swimming in the screen and would proudly take pictures of each of your masterpieces

Up next would be the dolphin show, where the two of you would be so engrossed in the show that you both forget to take videos and you would later mention about how you regret not capturing the moment

After the aquarium, you two would stop by a small family restaurant to have your meal, looking over pictures and videos together while talking about the sea creatures and the date

On another note, Kageyama would now have a selfie of the both of you which would become his phone screensaver from now on.

Miya Atsumu: Laser Tag Date

The both of you would have agreed on meeting in the late afternoon at the laser tag location

Would then decide to play against one another for the first round, then team up for the next round

He would entice you with a bet where the loser would have to listen to the winner for the rest of the date; your competitive self would not let this opportunity slip

In the first round, you would play lone wolf – while assessing the situation and protecting yourself from the rest of the players, you would try to look for him to shoot him down

He would also play lone wolf instead of forming alliance with others because he knows that’s how you would play and wants it to be a fair fight

He would enjoy seeing you play seriously while having fun but would also want to take you down so you would be at his beck and call for the rest of the date

The two of you would be too focused on taking down each other that when you finally spot him and was about to shoot, someone else eliminated you first

Looking at board, you would see your name being the one who was out, but the next instant, Atsumu’s name would appear just below yours

The two of you would be annoyed, not be able to settle the scores would set the fire in your hearts even hotter

The next round, you and Atsumu would team up as planned and discuss attack and defense strategies. With great chemistry, the two of you would brutally take down the other players smoothly and emerge as the winner at the end

Feeling refreshed, the both of you would go for dinner at somewhere simple. It would be a casual yet refreshing meal, he has quite an appetite so he would order a lot to eat

During the meal, the two of you would enthusiastically discuss moments during the laser tag round where you both won and put off the bet until the next time

“It’s thanks to me that we won, I helped defend your back!” You would claim, but he’d retort, “Nah, it’s my aiming that helped take down our opponents.”

“Okay, end of argument. We make the perfect team – and the perfect couple.” He would conclude smugly, knowing your heart would skip a beat at the last part of his statement

Before the date ends, he would make sure to leave a peck on your cheek. He would then grin smugly as he flirts, “Make sure your lips are ready for mine on our next date.”

[angelofthequeers]

Not a Good Look: Chapter 1

Summary: In which Marinette, Adrien, and their friends accidentally stumble on secret identities galore through the implications of a grown man making a deal with a teenage girl.

Aka Gabriel's deal with Lila comes back to bite him where it hurts.

Pairings: Adrigaminette, DJWiFi

Chapter 2 | AO3 link

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

“I swear to god, I can’t take another minute of her!” Adrien runs his fingers through his hair, resisting the urge to yank because his father will most certainly know if he’s missing so much as one hair on his head. ““Oh, Adrien and I work so well together! I’m his father’s new muse!” She doesn’t have a lick of talent for modelling!”

“That’s it,” Marinette says soothingly, for once not stammering like she usually does when he’s within ten feet of her. “Let it all out now, while you can.”

“Why do you even put up with her?” Kagami adds, depositing her fencing bag on the floor of the boys’ locker room so that she can sit next to Adrien on the bench. Marinette sits cross-legged on his other side, face flushing pink when their arms brush together. “Yes, she may be your father’s new “muse”, but you don’t have to tolerate her outside photoshoots.”

“I kind of do,” Adrien says. “Father told me that she’s the only friend he approves of and that he’ll restrict my freedoms if I don’t play nice with her. You know, that’s why I’m having this conversation in a locker room and only because fencing finished early. But it’s not just that; if I don’t put up with her, she’ll go after Marinette again. And after she got Marinette expelled, I’ll be damned if I let anything happen again.”

“What?” Marinette’s eyes bulge. “Adrien, no, this is my fight, you shouldn’t have to let her hang off you and make you uncomfortable for me!”

“Yeah. I do.” Adrien turns to grab her hands, wondering why this causes her to squeak and turn the colour of a ripe tomato. “You’re one of my best friends, Marinette. I couldn’t just stand by and let Lila ruin you like that when there was something I could do.”

“But see you don’t?” Marinette shakes her head and tries again. “Don’t you see? You’re rewarding her for it!”

“Marinette’s right,” Kagami says. “She still gets to lie to everyone, but so long as she doesn’t openly twist Marinette into the villain, she gets everything she wants.”

“Well, what else can I do?” Adrien throws his hands in the air. “If I tell her to shove off, she’ll go tattling! She must have, like, some kind of deal going on with my father, because he didn’t even know she existed before the Oni-Chan thing! Sorry,” he hurries to add. Kagami just shrugs, not visibly hurt by his reminder of her second akumatisation.

“Actually…that makes sense,” Marinette says slowly. When Adrien looks around at her, her brow is furrowed and she’s idly stroking her chin with her thumb, and for a split second, she resembles Ladybug so much that the breath is punched out of Adrien’s lungs. Then he blinks and she’s back to full-of-nervous-energy Marinette. “Something must have happened. She has no skill as a model – and I’m not saying that because I hate her – she just doesn’t have the stance and her face is all off and she’s so…robotic about it –”

“I’m definitely not disagreeing with you there,” Adrien chuckles despite himself. How does Marinette always manage to get a smile out of him even when he’s in the foulest of moods?

“Not to mention that there’s clearly no chemistry between you and her,” Marinette adds. “And everyone knows that you have to have chemistry between the models, or the shoot falls flat. Plus, there’s no reason for your father to approve of her but not everyone else. She’s a good liar, yeah, but your father doesn’t seem like someone who takes people at face value, and he must be able to recognise shifty people who are just lying to get ahead and use connections. It makes sense that she could’ve made a deal with him…but what?”

“Probably to spy on me,” Adrien mutters. Then he freezes, and on either side of him, Marinette and Kagami also stiffen.

“Of course,” Kagami says with a derisive snort. “That’s exactly the sort of thing your father would do.”

“But what can we do about it?” Marinette says. “That’s not right! And it doesn’t look right either! A grown man making a deal with a teenage girl for favours?” She wrinkles her nose. “Not a good look.”

“Maybe we can do something about it!” Adrien leaps to his feet and snaps his fingers, addressing his captive audience. “Evidence! We can find evidence that they’ve made a deal!”

“And what do you propose we do with that evidence?” Kagami says. Adrien jabs a finger at her.

“Prove that she’s a shifty snake!” he says. Kagami raises an eyebrow at that. “I know I told Marinette to take the high road, but that was when I thought she was just an attention seeker. You know, typical teenage, ‘ignore her and she’ll go away or realise that she needs to shape up’ brat. But this…she’s dangerous, you two. She got Nathalie and my bodyguard in trouble. She got Marinette expelled. And, uh…I was hiding nearby when you were Oni-Chan, Kagami. She deliberately distracted Chat Noir so that Oni-Chan could defeat Ladybug.”

“Well, what’s the plan?” Marinette says, while a dark storm crosses Kagami’s face. Adrien blinks at her.

“Sorry? The plan?”

“You don’t really think we’re going to let you charge off with a half-baked idea by yourself, do you?” Kagami says with a raised eyebrow, still scowling. It makes her look both adorable and terrifying at the same time…but is Adrien even allowed to think that when they’re having a temporary break from their relationship? “Marinette and I are with you, Adrien. What’s the plan to figure out if Lila and your father have made a deal?”

“I…actually didn’t think that far ahead,” Adrien admits. “I don’t know how we could get that evidence. Father would find out for sure if we were sneaking around, and there’s no way I could lead the conversation in that direction. I don’t even see him long enough to ask him how his day was.”

“Hmm.” Marinette chews her bottom lip. For some reason, the sight warms Adrien from the inside out, and he doesn’t realise that he’s physically leaning closer to drink in Marinette until Kagami tilts her head at him and he takes a step back with flushing cheeks. “I think I might have an idea. Leave it with me, okay?”

“Okay. I trust you, Marinette,” Adrien says, and he’s surprised to find just how firmly he believes those words.

.

The next day, once the final bell rings, Marinette catches up to Adrien with the single-minded focus of a heat-seeking missile before he can get out the school gates and she loses him. He jerks when she catches his arm, so she lets go with a mumbled apology, but he shakes his head and grabs her hand.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I thought you were Lila.”

“I still shouldn’t have touched you without asking,” Marinette says. Adrien shoots her a sunny smile that nearly makes her faceplant as her knees wobble under its force.

“You never touch me like other girls do,” he says. “You’re never…you know, rough and possessive about it. I like it when you touch me.”

“I like it when you touch me.” Oh. Oh dear. If Marinette hadn’t been about to fall two seconds ago, she’s definitely ready to keel over and die right now.

“Managed Ladybug!” she blurts out, then groans and ducks her head. “I managed. To catch Ladybug. God, I’m a mess.”

Adrien looks around, then mutters, “No Lila. Thank god,” and steers Marinette towards his waiting car. Thankfully, she manages to keep it together as he holds the back door open for her and then slides in after her with an explanation to his bodyguard about a study date with a friend – a date, a study date, but a date! – thanks to his cancelled fencing class. Not that his father needs to know that the friend he’s studying with isn’t Kagami or Lila, even if Marinette knows that he uses that term in the loosest possible way regarding the latter.

When Adrien turns to her with a small, hesitant smile that makes her stomach flutter with ladybugs, she opens her mouth to bring up the plan, but her one semi-functioning brain cell realises that it’s probably not a good idea to be spouting ideas of espionage against Gabriel Agreste in front of one of his employees, even if said employee is going behind his employer’s back right now, so she takes a deep breath to both swallow her words and calm herself down.

“Can I ask you something, Marinette?” Adrien says.

“Yure! Shes!” Marinette nods rapidly, then groans. “Sure! Yes!”

Adrien indicates her. “That. The stammering. The nerves. Do I…unsettle or intimidate you?”

“What? No! Of course not!” Well, he does unsettle her, but not for the reasons he thinks!

“Are you sure?” Adrien’s brow furrows. “Did I do something? I know I messed up on my first day and then with the wax museum thing, so if you still have hard feelings or something –”

“Nononono!” Marinette shakes her head so rapidly that her pigtails smack her in the face. “Trust me, I forgave you!”

“Then why are you so nervous around me?” Adrien says. “Is it because I’m Adrien Agreste? I know you want to be a fashion designer, but I swear, being friends with me won’t look like you’re using me or affect your chances –”

“It’s not that either.” Marinette slumps in her seat and closes her eyes, her heart racing so fast that it’s two seconds from beating out of her chest. After all her stress, all her frantic planning and failed attempts, is this how she finally confesses? “I…I l-lo – I can’t do this!” She tries to hide her face in her hands, but Adrien catches her wrists and gives her that sweet smile of his that melts her insides and is so not helping right now!

“Is it anything bad?” he says. Marinette wordlessly shakes her head. “Then it’s okay if you can’t tell me. As long as I know you don’t secretly hate me or something…”

“IloveyouAdrien!”

[ft-stories-lgbt]

Hi love! We need to start talking more, I miiiss you ;w;. Could I request some headcanons? [Headcanons] Team Natsu + Spring, Summer, Autumn & Winter. - Thank you, you amazing person!

Hi love ! I'm sorry I took a little time to give you an answer, I've been busy and I wanted to do something really complete for this one, so I hope you'll like it! Like I mention it to you earlier, it's an OT4, and also an AU!

I don't deserve these compliments come on... 🙈

*

Spring : Lucy

"I grab your hand and then we run to the car

Singing in the street and playing air guitar

Stuck between my teeth just like a candy bar

And I wonder if it goes too far to say

I've never recognized a purer face

You stopped me in my tracks and put me right in my place

Used to think that loving meant a painful chase

But you're right here now and I think you'll stay"

Beautiful stranger- Halsey

-

• Spring is the season that Lucy loves the most, mostly because it means flowers are out again and that summer is almost here. 

• But the main reason is, it was during spring that she met Erza, Natsu and Gray, and that she fell in love with them.

• She met Natsu first, they shared a class at university as she was in her last year of studies. She was new in town, just tranferred to the college, and Natsu was the first one to come and talk to her. He was all smile and loud voice and it didn't take long for her to catch feelings for him. They had great chemistry; always sitting next to each other, close and touchy. It was rare to see them apart on the campus. They were two months in this friendship when Natsu said he wanted her to meet his partners: Erza and Gray. 

• She didn't know what to make of this very sentence at first, because despite Natsu being so open with her, he never let anything along the lines slip from his lips before; never mentioned anything. She thought maybe he chose the wrong terms instead of using "Friends". 

• Natsu invited her to his place just after one of their late class, and she realised that after two months, this was the first time she was going to his house. 

• She remembers being surprised to find out that when Natsu opened the door, two people were already in there; but what really stunned her was the way Natsu had a fond smile on his lips as he made his way toward them, landing a kiss on each cheek. She stayed by the door for a few seconds before they introduced themselves warmly, a gentle smile on their faces. 

• Erza immediately made her comfortable. Lucy couldn't take her eyes off her, as she realised how beautiful the girl was. Her long red hair was shining with the artificial light and her face glowed with a certain happiness which Lucy always thought only Natsu was capable of. 

• Gray was a real mystery for her at first though. While he smiled gently and talked to her very politely, Lucy didn't miss the way he had an eye on her during all evening, as if he was judging whether she was good enough to be around them, but around Natsu. He made sure to stay between Natsu and her during dinner, making himself like a barrier.

• During this evening she recalls seeing how gentle brush of hands was made among the three of them. Natsu often kept a hand on Gray’s over the table, or he didn't hesitate to fix a strand of hair behind Erza's ear. Gray even got rid of something in the corner of Natsu's mouth with his thumb and Erza laid a kiss on their temples each time she got a chance. 

• Before she left that night, Gray softly grabbed her wrist to tell her "I like you, I hope I'll see you more often".

• She didn't really want to make assumptions about their relationship at first but after finding out the three of them were living together and shared a room and two other months of them being physical and surprised at seeing at least one of them making out with one of the other two, she concluded that they were together, and that when Natsu said "partners" he didn't mean it as friends. 

• Since she had feelings for Natsu, she thought she would be jealous but it turns out she just felt happy for them and somehow she finds herself wishing for them to include her in their relation. 

• Which they did, little by little. At first, Natsu invited her, alone, to go see a movie. They kept holding hands during the movie but she didn't allow herself to hope.

• Then Erza took her to a bakery where she spent an hour being spoon-fed by her, with various pieces of cake. 

• And finally Gray told her to come over once, the two of them were alone and they enjoyed dinner. The apartment was arranged nicely, with candles and flowers everywhere. 

• And they all did this a couple of dozens more time but it took until the following year for her to do something about it as she realised her feelings for Natsu were now expanded to Erza and Gray.

• They were on the couch, watching a movie. She was sitting next to Gray, who had an arm around her shoulders, while Erza slid her fingers between Gray's free hand. Natsu was lying on her other side, his head resting on her lap. She didn't really pay attention to the movie, her eyes only meeting the people around her and after what felt like hours she said, "I love you all, more than I love spring."

• For a few seconds, no one said anything back, but soon enough she could feel the way Gray tightened his grip around her shoulders while Erza and Natsu took each of her hands. "We love you too," they said back.

• After that night, she never left their side.

*

Summer : Natsu

"Tastes like strawberries on a summer evenin'

And it sounds just like a song

I want more berries and that summer feelin'

It's so wonderful and warm"

Watermelon Sugar - Harry Styles.

-

• For as long as Natsu can remember, Gray, Erza, and he always knew each other even if the other two were 2 years older than him. They grew up in the same street, houses only a few feet apart.

• There's not a day in his mind where Erza and Gray are not there. For him, it always felt like they were together all the time. He has always known them as if they are a part of him.

• It's only natural that he was the one to start all of this relationship thing.

• He never felt scared, since Gray and Erza were the only constants in his life. He had other friends of course, but he realised quickly that the thing they had between the three of them was something specific to only them.

• When Natsu first brought the subject up, he was 13 and Erza and Gray were 15. They were at the park, feeding the birds when Natsu said, "When we'll be older, I want to live with both of you. I love you." Natsu never used unnecessary words, always going straight to the point, so the other two knew he wasn't joking and knew about the meaning behind it as well. Gray only said, "I'll wait for it then."

• They shared their first kiss when Natsu was 16. It was during summer vacation, and Gray and Erza were preparing their stuff to leave for college. And while they knew that they could still see each other almost every day, Natsu felt like it was a big change for all of them since they will be busy with other things. He was sad about it and when he voiced it, Gray called him an idiot before giving him a kiss on his lips. He didn't even have the chance to fully comprehend the situation before Erza did the same.

• And from then, their relationship slowly started to shift into something more intimate.

• Gray and Erza began to live together first, and when Natsu finally finished high school, he officially joined them.

• In the beginning, it was a real mess. They may have spent their life together but they never really experienced the all "living together"; it took them nearly four months to finally have some understanding between them.

• A few years passed, and Natsu was in his last year at the university when he met Lucy. It felt surreal for him since he spent his life making his entire world around Gray and Erza, and when he started having feelings toward Lucy, he decided it was a good thing if he talked about it to the other two.

• Erza and Gray were wary at first, after all, they never talked about the possibility of one of them finding someone else, or wanting to add someone else.

• But once they met Lucy, it was like it was meant to be, and Natsu couldn't be happier about it.

• They spent long nights talking about the possibility of her joining them. And when a year later they found themselves being together, the four of them laying on the bed, Natsu couldn't be gladder that for once, he allowed himself to see more than the world that he created around Gray and Erza.

*

Autumn : Erza

"Cause you're safe like spring time

Short days, long nights, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you

Cause you taste like Lucky Strikes

You drag, I light, boy

Tell me all the ways to love you"

Lucky Strike - Troye Sivan

-

• It took Erza a long time to admit her own feelings toward the boys first. Mainly because her family never approved of her always being with them, even when they were young. Her parents were overprotective and very strict about their education since she was a girl. But Erza never quite fit in the picture.

• She can't remember how many time she went out through her window, running toward the park just to join Natsu and Gray. She always got into trouble after that but it was worth it in the end.

• When they finally got together, Erza decided to tell her parents about it. And as she expected the news didn't sit well with them.

• She was a few weeks into college when she told them. It ended up in a fight and she left the house in a hurry to end up in the park where she used to meet Gray and Natsu.

• She remembers laying in the ground, the brown leaves cracking under her weight. Autumn was there for almost two weeks then, and despite the situation, she found a little peace in the quiet environment. She doesn't know for how long she stayed there, but at some point, two figures were standing above her and a gentle voice rang in her ears:

"This season suits you dearly, darling. It does a good thing to the colour of your hair.” It was silly, but Natsu’s words managed to bring the smile back on her lips.

"How did you know I was here?" She only asked back.

"Well, you didn't answer your phone and we called at least ten times," Gray said gently. "So we decided to come and check here first. You always come here when something is wrong."

She said nothing more but soon enough there were two bodies laying on each of her sides.

• After this episode, Erza barely kept contact with her parents, but somehow it didn't really bother her. She always felt trapped with them, and she could now taste a little freedom with only her two boyfriends by her side. And the fact that their family were nice and supportive probably helped too.

• And until Lucy, she was perfectly fine with this small circle of people around her. She never imagined someone else being part of their relationship.

• But just like it felt normal for her to be with Natsu and Gray, it also felt natural for her that Lucy joined them and shared their love.

• Since the first time she met the blonde, Gray and Natsu never stop teasing her about how soft she is towards the girl. If she can be harsh towards the boys, with Lucy it's always different. She talks softly and gently to the girl, and she can barely say no to her.

• The boys used that particular bond between the two to get the things they want and knew that if they were the one asking, she would say no. Erza didn't take long to notice it but never said anything, finding amusing the way Lucy would come to her, cheeks flushed and a timid look on her face, to ask for something silly that the boys would have convinced her to do.

*

Winter: Gray

"Walk in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?"

Adore you - Harry Styles

-

• Gray never really was someone who liked to meet new people and make new friends, even when he was young. Therefore, it came as a surprise to his parents when he introduced them to Natsu and Erza in the park during winter. Gray's parents noticed quite early that the relationship between the three was special and something only meant for them. And they did nothing against it, too happy that their son finally let someone in.

• At some point, the Fullbuster's house was at least twice a week filled with two boys and a girl for dinner.

• And when they left to live together, they made a point to keep coming every Sunday for lunch.

• His parents were always a big support for the three of them, even when Natsu lost his parents at the end of his last year of high school. They managed to keep him with them for the last few weeks of the school year and until this day, Gray knows that Natsu is really thankful for them being part of his life.

• Much like the other two, Gray didn't really think of having someone else to love, even if his father liked to joke about them to find more people: "So we could play soccer in the backyard! Come on brat, you need to find at least 6 other people!"

• When Lucy joined the picture, his parents were thrilled and welcomed her as a part of their family easily.

• Gray remembers the first time she officially met them, a few months after they got together. It was snowing and they were at the door of Gray's parents when she stopped Erza from knocking on it.

"I don't think this is a good idea. They are going to hate me. They always knew the three of you together, and now here I am, breaking that perfect picture. This is a terrible idea. A really bad one. Worse than that one time when Natsu convinced us to go swimming naked in a nearly frozen lake. I don't..."

Gray didn't let her finish her monologue and only kissed her on her lips, while his hands cupped her cheeks gently. He didn't say anything when they parted away, their eyes only locked in one another. He was silently saying, "It's okay. There's no need for you to be afraid. You are a part of us too now."

*

And a Big Big Big thank you to my little fairy 🧚 @watcher-ofthe-sky for taking the time to beta this for me and also for giving me some advice ! You're a real sweetheart!

[laufire]

Roswell NM 2x05

My thoughts of this episode could basically be summed up on “Extremely Mixed Feelings” lmfao.

Let’s start with Rosa, obviously. Gosh, I adore her. ADORE her. She feels so lively and real and colourful among... well, everything and everyone else xD. She did even in death. She makes this show better by being the point of contention in the narrative. The mixed feelings come when she interacts with anyone else, because though she remains her incredible self, (almost) everyone else isn’t and I keep chaffing against the dominant narrative :P. She’s also hilarious lmao. I love every one of her zings xD. The “bitch-ass aliens” was obviously the winner, but her calling Max & Isobel’s nonsense “psychic twincest weirdness” was close LOL.

Like, I don’t know how I feel about the show even JOKING about Rosa possibly forgiving Max & Co. The scene itself with Rosa DEMANDING her own room was perfect, but. Yeah. Don’t even joke about that xD. To add that, I actually really love her scenes with Max, both in previous episodes and this one, when he briefly convinced her of stopping his resurrection (I kind of love that the episode was so close to Easter, btw, it’s so on the nose xDD). The energy between the actors works REALLY well and I find myself suddenly paying attention to Max, which hadn’t happened so far xDD. However, I’d enjoy those scenes even more if I could be reasurred that Rosa is always going to have mixed feelings at best about him, and will never be reduced to prop him or Liz/Max (like in the moment where Rosa almost has to comfort Liz about Max loving her. Leave my kid out of this pls). But. Yeah. I also have some guesses as to where the Rosa vs. Max storyline will go now that a.) she has more control of her new powers, and b.) his resurrection is the one that’ll follow the Came Back Wrong pattern, but they’re half-formed/half-wishful thinking so far lol.

I love love love the physicality of Rosa’s scenes with Liz too, even if sometimes I’m bothered by other elements. I’m just amazed by how the actresses manage to make it come across that despite the obvious visuals, despite how ~youthful and reckless Rosa feels... she’s the older sister, still. That’s how she feels, and Liz gets ~swayed by this. Like how she bundles herself agaisnt Rosa’s chest for comfort (and in the second one, the transition to that after Liz holds Rosa’s face in her hands), or how Rosa talks about her “sweet little sister”, etc. It also helps making the relationship feel less proppy than it would otherwise --younger sisters doing something for their older ones feels different than the reverse, idk. I have Thoughts about this but they’re all tangled up with myself projecting stuff on them, so idk what I’m trying to convey here xDD

I’m less conflicted about Rosa/Isobel. STAY AWAY FROM HER ISOBEL. Seriously, I full on despise her now. Fuck her. At the beginning of the season it looked like I might start finding her interesting, but nah. That’s over. And in particular I want her as far away as possible from Rosa. I’m even surprised by the strength of my reaction lol, but I wanted to yell at her to take her dirty paws off Rosa xD (seriously, the scene where she puts her hand on Rosa’s chest felt so so creepy? Was that just me? Add that in Isobel’s comment about having a “threeway” and deugh. GO AWAY ISOBEL). And frankly, it’s hard to miss how Isobel is always at her worst with women of color (I’m wary of her attitude to men of color, after the blatant sexualization/mind control thing with Kyle or all her bullshit with Arturo, too). Her comments on Rosa’s addiction (let alone assaulting her or locking her body in a closet ofc) didn’t help her case. I really, really wish Rosa had chocked a bitch xD. BTW, I’ve seen people attribute Isobel’s shittiness to her connection to Max and his darkness when a.) we saw NO SIGNS of this, and b.) she’s been terrible from day one, okay xD. If the show goes there to absolve her of responsibility like it did in s1... ugh.

My connection was crappy af last week and I somehow missed Michael’s “help me move a body” scene until I saw the parallel done with the one this week and... did this bitch really joke about desecrating Rosa’s body in front of Liz’s face?? (who said nothing because she’s now completely on pod-people’s POV land, ofc. I had flashbacks to Delena joking about Caroline’s rape right there, too). Seriously, the pod-people, ALL of them, have an enourmous debt with Rosa (EVEN MORE NOW), and I really, really wish she collected.

I wish we’d seen Arturo & Arturo-Rosa stuff this episode. It’ll still be tainted by the circumstances (*hates Isobel even more*), but I’m very curious about them. And about how Rosa’s bio-father ties to this stuff --that side of Rosa’s family is being left out of things so far and I don’t like it, tbh. It seems to be simply because it’s too far from the pod-siblings circle of influence ¬¬. Or about how Arturo is processing all this (he still thinks Rosa drove and killed the two other girls and that Max is A Very Nice Boy *barfs*. I seriously resent the very real posibility that Rosa’s story will never be untangled, to her father and to the town).

Not-Rosa-centric stuff under the cut, I guess, because this is getting long xD

I also have mixed feelings about Maria’s scenes with Alex (and Maria’s scenes in general). OTOH, she looked amazing (this is important, js. It’s such a shame we didn’t see Michael’s reaction to that last outfit of hers *-*); I love the actor’s easy chemistry, too; and I think it’s very, very interesting, that Alex basically nudged Maria towards Michael and Miluca. OTOH, I dislike how the conversation immediately turned to supporting him, and especially the false equivalences between Maria falling for Michael and Alex contributing to the lies to her (though I don’t find him as responsibly for that as Michael and especially Liz --since it was Michael’s secret and he planned and struggled to tell her, while Liz was pretty comfortable keeping her in the dark except for her own emotional needs, and knew too well why those secrets could cost), or between looking at your mother’s search history and forgiving someone for keeping you in the dark and endangering your life, js. That he guilted her into forgiving Liz (and so fullfilling Maria’s prophecy about how Liz only struggled to tell her because she wanted support, and my own about how little her anger was allowed to last) made it worse.

I feel terrible for Kyle. You could feel the toll he’s taken smh. My heart broke a little when he told Liz “you called, I broke the speed limit”, too :/. His relationship with his mother is hanging on the balance after all his lies too, which doesn’t bode to well for him either. I liked the scene between him and Alex, at least, though I still don’t think I could ever ship them, given Kyle’s romantic history with someone that ALSO was hung up on another person, js.

Other people have talked about how Alex’s scenes with Michael often highlight his classism and how little it’s talked about in this fandom, but yeah. His comments about Michael’s “wasting” his life... I Felt that.

Related to that, Max’s comment about how someone “has to clean up [Michael’s] messes” is part of why the pod-siblinghood thing is never ever ever going to work for me, sns xDD. Sure, it’s mostly because I don’t like Max or Isobel at all, or Michael 40-50% of the time, but yeah, things like that, or Isobel assuring him of the BLATANT lie that Michael means as much to her and Max as each other... they make it harder to get into the ~spirit lol. Another issue is how TERRIBLE the editing to make them appear younger looks xDD

I had to, HAD TO, roll my eyes at Max’s martyrdom. Ooooh, he’s not doing this for HIMSELF, he would NEVER care about being in PAIN, he’s doing this for US. And the narrative conveniently doesn’t take him at his word and saves him, ofc, because’s he’s a lead and that’s what’s up. It was interesting seeing the other characters coming to acceptance at first, however --I hope it’s a Sign. There are other Signs (of Max’s narrative maaaaaaybe weak spots) that really *pop* in this episode. Like the fact that there’s doubt over who is more important to him, Liz or Isobel. In a show with a really strong male lead, the answer would unquestionably be Liz: she’d know it, Isobel would know it, we’d all know it. And sure, I know a lot of people would say that it’s “better” (?) for a show to acknowledge the ~importance of familial and platonic bonds~ and what not, but c’mon. I don’t doubt that if Liz had been white things would be different. But that’s not the case here. And there are strong arguments for Isobel being number one... like the fact that this amnesia plot in the promo seems to ONLY involve Liz? I mean, he seems to remember Isobel just fine. A male lead forgetting the love of his life is very, very tricky. OTOH this is good in the sense that I’m all for anything that makes Max take a fall... but his & Liz’s stories are too tangled up and I’d fear she’d surely go down with him :/

[formal-frog-shoes]

Gimme the forbidden oc content owo

You’ve unleashed a beast anon (:  We’ll start with my most detailed Ocs

Lilivan (Lily) Synes: Red of the Colour Group! A trans, male to agender (Ze/Zir/Zim) spitfire at 14 years old, who’s chaotic and tough through everything. Ze is incredibly short-tempered, impulsive and is very upfront with everything. Unless it’s an adult, to which ze will be more defensive. None the less, ze is a fighter, who will never in zir life think logically or safely and will always throw hands and pride zirself in zir fighting talent. Ze is loyal and trustworthy, and I hope to God that anyone treats zir the same way; ze can’t handle being lied to and used for gain. Ze can be easily emotionally manipulated, often becoming angered, breaking from their usual optimistic outlook. If someone wants to find zir, they just have to wander deep into the woods, where they will find Lily wrestling an animal.

Lynzia (Lyn) Denotrie: Yellow of the Colour Group! They’re intersex (They/Them) and is 17 years old! They’re a childish individual that loves to make friends with anyone and everyone they can! They have hyper-active tendencies, hopping from one thing to another with no signs of stopping. Anything that’s bright and colourful they love the most and love to decorate with anything they find. Though the problem with their cheerful attitude is that they feel like they can’t show anything else, so they bottle up anything that isn’t positive. They can be a bit intrusive, but never do harm with the things they learn, and instead keep that knowledge for themself. They love to learn, but only from books, and is often the mediator between everyone. Lyn can often be found talking about their day, cool fact they learn and basically just yapping their mouth off.

Cassidy Fear: Blue of the Colour Group! Cassidy is a transgender female (she/her) and is 19 years old. She’s the exact opposite of Lyn, who has been diagnosed with Flat Affect. She doesn’t talk or respond to much, but breaks the limit of her Flat Affect and cares for her family more than it generally allows. If it’s necessary, she’ll fake a reaction to provide comfort or if she confused someone. She will rarely start up a conversation and barley participate in one, using her tinted glasses to reflect light into peoples eyes so she can avoid eye contact and have the person stop talking to her. Despite being the opposite to Lyn, they’re the one she’s more keen towards, having been the person she’s known the longest, and can translate her simple words for others. If she’s needed she can be found by herself, she usually reading a horror novel and listening to rock, with Lyn talking nearby.

Ty Arobix: Green of the Colour Group! Ty is a male (He/Him) that is 22 years old! He’s the most polite and timid of the group, often hiding himself away from the outside world, studying mechanics, chemistry, physics and (begrudgingly) biology. He works as a scientist, creating items to help the world and finding revelations that break barriers of the science world; the only problem is that he’s too scared to actually go out and sell his findings. He’s emotionally weak and is easily sad and stressed; with angry situations scaring him and cause him to panic. When around strangers, he’ll sometimes speak with a stutter. He’s considered the “Mom Friend” of the group, as his family is the most important thing in his life. He got his love for inventions from the Steampunk fad, and refuses to grow out of it, all his inventions looking very similar to the aesthetic. He’s gotten into many accidents, his first was very bad and was around his eyes, leading to scarring which is why he has his hair covering his upper face. He has no self preservation skills at all. He’s incredibly gay, but due to his lack of interactive skills, he hasn’t found anyone yet (there’s a character in progress though, shhhh.) Many people have tried to get to know the shy man, but no one knows where he goes to work.

Those are the main four! Their interactions are nothing short of chaotic, as Lily tries to mess around and fight Cassidy for fun, Ty is safety control, because Cassidy can kick Lily’s ass with no hesitation, and Lyn will be giggling, not helping. Luckily the group is being monitored by their trusty guardians! (maybe a new post if someone asks.) That’s all for now folks!

here they are in order. these aren’t their original outfits, but i’ll make something for them soon.

[skamamoroma]

You Are Not From Milan - Thoughts (Part 1)

So this one was always going to be a game changer and I’m sorry for taking a while to write my thoughts. I didn’t think people were too interested in more of my ramblings but then I got quite a few requests so here we are!

First off, I’m so grateful to those people who have helped shed light on what Nico might be experiencing and the illness he lives with. Education on this stuff is so important and I really found it so interesting to read about people’s experiences because only then can you really appreciate what the show is trying to do. Some of that information really did inform us and enabled so many of us to really understand Nico a little more and ESPECIALLY some of the moments in this clip... because yeah, Bessegato might be a bit arrogant etc (!) but nobody can deny that Skam Italia have worshipped Marti and Nico as characters (and others - especially Gio) and I feel the love for these characters in each clip and this one was absolutely no exception despite some of it being very difficult stuff.

This is long. I’m making myself clear right now because if you fall asleep mid way through or even before then, NOBODY could blame you, but some people asked for it so here it is! <3

First off, Bessegato with this cinematography. I love that we get a really poppy, upbeat song with the two of them on the train either kissing or taking selfies or both. It’s youthful and cute and fun to see them spending time together and doing pretty typical sweet stuff with one another. 

I think the main thing I felt when I watched the start of this clip was the comfort they have together. We’re straight off the back of Nico being upset, his mother behaving as she did, Marti being a little uncomfortable and Nico apologising and telling Marti he wants to sleep next to him. That broke my heart. The way he said it was so simple but said SO MUCH. When we were in his room with him and he was asking Marti to leave, you could hear two things so clearly: how much he DIDN’T want that to happen and also how much he desperately wanted comfort. I keep coming back to that because I didn’t feel that with Even. I felt different wants and desires from him but with Nico I just always get this overwhelming feeling that he needs comfort and someone to just SEE him and gather him up. When Rocco said his word was ‘vulnerability’ with Nico, it shows. A lot. 

So the fact that straight off the back of that comment from Nico, we have him being able to spend time with Marti with nobody else there is something we KNOW will be very special. 

And that’s the key thing. NOBODY ELSE THERE. This is Milan. Day and night time and the only other person we see during the entire clip, despite them being in the open, in a central location, is the lady introducing the flat. 

Now, I’ve said this before but I love Skam’s realism. It’s why I’m drawn to it so much. But I also love how Skam Italia has stuck close to realism but drawn a little more on the cinematic aspects. I’m down for that. I’ve adored it. This clip, for me, was by far the most cinematic and I’m kind of thrilled because I often feel like, to depict mental illness, things like camera angles, light, sound, shot length, cinematography tricks and metaphors are WONDERFUL. Something from the original (and the og had much less of a cinematic feel which worked perfectly for it) that I adored was the impact the scene changes were when Even was taking deep breaths and unable to sit still. Those breaths going straight into a black screen was genius and still gives me chills to this day. Those effects, you can say so so much with them and it seems they used that but in really subtle ways. It’s not really STARKLY obvious that nobody is around until you really think about it. 

We kind of have a first introduction into them being the Last Men on Earth.

The little kiss Marti gives Nico is a lovely book end moment to their scene outside the school, isn’t it? Marti feels a little more able to be open but again, THERE IS NOBODY AROUND. Not a soul. When I watched the clip again after realising nobody was visible, it changed it all for me. I actually got shivers because it was EXACTLY like Marti explained... if you’re the last person on earth - WHAT WOULD YOU DO. Possibilities are endless.

I loved the giddy teenage response to the fancy apartment. It was so sweet and that VIEW. The fact that Nico specifically asks for the skyscrapers was SO DAMN SWEET. Ah. It’s such a youthful thing to do - SHOW ME THE BIG BUILDINGS. Tbh I’m the same, I’m a sucker for a good view. 

I think it’s here we realise how expensive this must have been.... the apartment with THAT view. We know that Nico was, at this point, experiencing an episode due to his illness but what is so telling is that he chose to rent an apartment. That was his choice in that moment and he wanted a safe and quite space with Marti with pretty views. I mean. NICO. Romance runs in his veins. 

THE NOSE BOOP. So familiar, so bloody cute and so playful. This is NOTHING new to them but just confirms how they are together and they are LOVELY.

AND THEN THE CURTAINS. Now @only-in-dreamland wrote a pretty special post about the curtains that I LOVE. Go read it. When I watched this back I wondered what the point of including that was. It’s not really a throwaway comment, it’s said a couple of times and I think this wonderful post on the meaning could be pretty spot on because those curtains are so important later on. 

I loved the music in the background too. It’s whimsical, plinky plonky kind of music. It made the whole scene feel film-like, alongside that purple blue sky and the little lights from the cool buildings. Contrasted with the scene taking place, it made it a little disconcerting too because towards the end, you can see Marti’s not entirely sure how to behave because Nico is being pretty forward and a little different to how we’ve seen him before. 

AND THEN THE SCENE WHICH RENDERS ME SPEECHLESS. 

First off, that gorgeous moment of the two of them leaning on the balcony looking at their pretty view that’s all theirs.... it’s so child like with wonder but also so damn romantic. I love that Marti says they’ve been to one of the buildings opposite as it means they spent time together during the day. Knowing that is such a comfort. 

Nico looks so calm with Marti, really happy and very smiley as we know him to be so when Marti looks back and they just giggle... it’s a really beautiful moment. They are always happy to be together, always smiling. It’s like their trademark THING at this point. Marti just looks so smitten, so at ease and completely mesmerised by Nico. It’s almost dream-like again. 

And then we have the RED. Everything till this point is so BLUE. The sky, the buildings, Marti’s clothes (OF COURSE), the view.... and then there’s this BOLD RED and it’s also another of their things. This sharp change in colour which normally means a change in mood. 

This moment with the neon sign is one of my absolute favourites so far this whole season. 

First off, the music. From the RED PILL BLUES album. Come onnnnnnn! Perfect. The song is one I’d have NEVER considered but my god, it’s perfect. some of the lyrics “keep me connected to you” and “you wanna be reckless, restless right until tomorrow”.... but lastly “WHEN WE CLOSE THE CURTAINS”. God damn it. THOSE CURTAINS AGAIN.

Not to mention this song is sexy as hell. It’s just one of THOSE songs with that slow beat... amazinggggg song choice, I can’t even cope with how good it is. 

But then you have Nico asking Marti about the sign and there’s something so sweet about Marti’s “um, how?” and you can see Nico feels the same. He’s endlessly charmed by Marti but in this moment he chooses his own version. It’s like he wants the scene to be perfect, to be THEM and only them for this short period of time. It’s like a title to a tv show, like he’s making this time MARTI AND NICO and nobody else, so much so that it’s written all over the wall to make it clear. The way he does it though, the way he points and walks slowly and smiles and laughs a little at Marti’s confusion before catching him in a kiss... it’s so cinematic my heart couldn’t handle it but it’s that kind of overwhelming, bowl you over kind of sensual cinematic moment that has you swooning but the music makes it more than that, it’s actually intoxicating. I usually hate that work but god does it explain this scene. 

HOW ANYONE CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS SCENE NOT BEING ENOUGH IS HONESTLY BEYOND ME. I’ve rarely seen a heterosexual love scene with intimacy like this nevermind a same sex couple. 

The slow kisses are completely perfect especially considering their happy bouncy kisses in the cabin. This is a ‘take your time’ kiss. Rocco and Fede floor me in this scene. Truly. Every moment is so full of LOVE and CONNECTION and it is almost difficult to watch because it feels very private. They’ve always had this instant easy kind of chemistry but this is a change from the cabin’s frantic kissing, this is soulful and full of touches that say so much without words....! They barely stop touching. The fact that they always touch each other’s faces is painfully sweet because it’s that awe and gentle sweetness they’ve shown time and time again. 

For Marti, it makes me so happy because this is what he deserves. He looks SO comfortable, so happy, so into every moment that it’s kind of breathtaking to see. I couldn’t help but feel so emotional for him because he’s getting the physical part of a relationship he has no doubt wanted but never known if it was possible for him... 

The “private dancer” moment is actually intimate as hell and crazy sexy with Nico helping Marti slide his clothes over his head. People cannot watch this and feel they’re being shortchanged in terms of depicting same sex love and intimacy because it is painfully intimate. 

Lets have a moment to appreciate Rocco’s insane and beautiful curly messy hair because it’s wild in this moment and such a lovely touch in comparison to Marti’s own hair. The shadow effects are absolutely stunning because you focus in on what is important and the detail is simply not necessary. 

AND THEN NICO KISSES MARTI’S HEART and my own heart hurt. We know Nico is a romantic. We know he adores Marti but god. GOD. He does it in such a way that it’s obvious he has chosen to kiss over Marti’s heart, he’s trying to say so much without saying it. 

There’s something they both have done since day one and that’s hold the other in place when they kiss and it makes me a bit emotional!!!! Marti does it quite a bit in this moment, keeps Nico close with his hands or guides him closer to him. Those details are what impress me so so much about Rocco and Fede’s acting. This is really really intense stuff to show, especially to do it well but they make it look absolutely real. I don’t question it for a second and I’m normally someone who is snapped out of scenes when acting is awry or something doesn’t sit right. Never with this season. Not once. 

Again with the smiling, the giddy blissed out smiles that are a Martino Rametta staple. His smile is so lovely and to see him happy is what we all want so all you want to do is keep that smile on his face! 

I ADORE the little moment when Marti is hovering over Nico and Nico’s finger drags along under his chin. It almost stopped my heart with how intimate a detail that was, how in love they seemed in that little moment alone. 

The last shot of this scene is so gorgeous that I KNEW, I knew watching it the first time that it was going to be the last time we saw them like that. I just had this awful sinking feeling seeing them slotted together to happy and lazy and cuddled together that it wasn’t going to last but what a truly gorgeous shot that was. Nico looked tranquil as hell and that’s why what happens afterwards is so painful for me and for us all because all of that intense comfort that Nico wanted and was seeking and that Marti loved... they didn’t get it. They didn’t get their time to sleep next to eachother. It was so SAD for me because that comfort is what I keep coming back to... life got in the way and stole that from them and I felt so unbeliavably sad. I KNOW they will get it. I am certain and I can’t wait to see that but, for now, my heart hurt so much. 

[nightslain]

Leon's initial feelings for Mathias when they first met, and times where he realized he may feel more. 👀

send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on || @empyream

I suppose we should start this off with some context before anything else! Though the canon says these two have been old friends since before they joined a company of knights together, that timeline doesn’t really check out as far as myself and @notte-la-lagna are concerned, so our timeline is slightly different! Mathias is already an established knight before Leon is brought into the fold, though he has certainly heard of this budding prodigy as Leon distinguished himself as a brilliant soldier. Things only really kick off our continuity when Leon first receives his accolade and becomes a knight. Traditionally, the accolade, or the knighting ceremony, was performed on a day of religious importance like Easter or Christmas, or in the case of mine and Nyx’s canon, at an important social event such as the wedding of a nobleman. 

Leon was, in our continuity, knighted at the wedding of Mathias and Elisabetha, and this is when the two were really first introduced beyond hearsay and passing glances. Leon from day one had deeply admired and respected Mathias for his experience and his worldly intelligence, and earning his companionship was a desire established quite early into their introduction (this feeling was fortunately echoed in Mathias’ interest in Leon, due to his insightful, curious demeanour and a hunger for knowledge, compelling Mathias to take Leon under his wing as a ‘student’ as well as a newfound comrade.) In Leon’s eyes, Mathias has always been fascinatingly unique; unpredictable and well ahead of his time, as well as being an endless fount of valuable knowledge; though he was very much an enigma to Leon for a long time and rather austere in his own right despite his willingness to share his wisdoms. Much of this impression stayed true throughout the first year or two of their friendship, though the walls around Mathias slowly came down as the two cemented their tremendous chemistry and synergy with one another, and they grew to cherish one another’s companionship as the hardships of their battles drew them ever closer.

Inklings of romantic infatuation didn’t start colouring Leon’s view of him till about three years into their friendship, where the two began to express much more physical and verbal affection between themselves. There’s a particularly heart-warming occasion in which Leon falls ill after the two return to France and Mathias happily shoulders the responsibility of nursing him back to health; one particular moment in their history during which Leon felt his affection for the man truly begin to bleed well outside the realms of the platonic. Another big moment for them both is after a particularly turbulent falling out between the two (one I can go into detail about some other time) but tl;dr, Mathias did something unpredictably foolish that almost got him killed, and Leon was absolutely furious with him (again, for more reasons than I’m going to elaborate here and now.)  However, that devastating fear of losing him that Leon was faced with more than affirmed for him that his feelings ran far deeper than the those one has for a comrade,however valued–and after their reconciliation, their relationship grew infinitely and deeply more intimate and personal, which only spearheaded them towards that first real and long awaited kiss you see them sharing in this thread here. 

It goes without saying there were always symptoms of romantic affection that sporadically presented themselves at times before and between these two events, often in Mathias’ rare moments of weakness and sorrow when it fell to Leon to comfort him, when tending to one another’s wounds post-battle, or else during moments the two of them enjoy their sparring sessions together just a little bit too much; and of course, the times the two relished in late night talks spent side by side, in each other’s arms, laid in a bed they shared on their excursions as they tried to fend off the cold. Speaking of which, their time away from France on excursions truly was a big catalyst for their romantic leanings, we both agree, since they spend so much time alienated from the rest of their families and friends and have only one another to truly depend upon and connect with in all that time. They understand one another in ways nobody else really can because of their mutual hardships, which fostered a very deep bond between them once they formed a platoon and began fighting together. Leon was always vaguely aware of his affections springing from this soon growing into what was ultimately love, and there wasn’t really a single moment of epiphany where that was concerned so much as just a constant building of his fondness for Mathias as the days went by. It was just never spoken of or expressed beyond their rather admittedly suggestive exchanges, at least up until that aforementioned breaking point (and an even more passionate one that happens later as well.)

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Leopold “Butters” Stotch

hi! i think i’ve worked out that i’ve reached the activity limit with my overall replies & discord rp-ing (16 replies overall) but, if not, I’m happy to leave this in your inbox until it’s ready x

out of character info

Name/Alias: Grace Pronouns: She/Her Age: 23 Join Our Discord: Yes – already in x Timezone: GMT Activity: 8 Triggers: N/A Password: Jimmy can fast pass my ass Character that you’re applying for: Leopold “Butters” Stotch Favourite ships for your character: Butters/Kenny, Butters/Eric, Butters/Chemistry

in character info (heavy trigger warning for parental abuse and neglect throughout !!)

Full name: Leopold “Butters” Stotch Birthday: 11th September 2000 Sexuality, gender, pronouns: bisexual, male, he/him  Age and grade: 17, senior.

Appearance: 

Butters is cursed with eternal baby-face: chubby cheeks and big blue eyes. Even his hair is as soft and fluffy as the day he was born, with his parents making sure that he never deviates from his short-back-and-sides style by cutting it themselves every Sunday evening. That’s not the only thing that hasn’t changed; his clothing style is as sweet and standard as his middle school days – boot-cut jeans, comfortable sneakers and the teal fleece his mom bought for his 15th birthday (he’s barely grown, since). Sometimes, Butters will experiment with a graphic-tee, his favourite being his array of Hello Kitty Island Adventure merchandise, or bright coloured polo. 

Butters stands at just under average height and just over average weight, with a cute bit of chub on his belly that he doesn’t think will ever go (he’s banned from visiting the gym after his dad’s bathhouse escapades). One time, his mom threatened to fatten him up so much that he’d never be able to leave, and he’s never been able to budge the extra weight, since. He doesn’t mind, though: he’s as body positive as can be, and thinks that anyone who don’t think he’s handsome ain’t looking hard enough.

Personality: 

Butters is a mess, frankly, though he thinks he’s just an ordinary fella living life as anyone should: by being kind and helping others. He’s dangerously gullible and painstakingly naïve, with a generous soul even after everything he’s been through. He just wants to do right by the world, especially his friends. He has a strong sense of justice, though this can be easily manipulated to the point where he’ll believe that what’s wrong is right and what’s right is wrong. Despite often being misguided, he’ll stick by his guns and stay true to himself when the time comes. He’s got better at standing up for himself as he’s got older, too, and isn’t afraid to put his foot down and say heck no if necessary. Most days, he's very confident in his own skills and self-image, but that can all change with one comment. 

His disrespect for authority is an interesting personality trait. He’ll fudge the police and tell his teachers to go suck a popsicle, but there’s two people he can’t say no to. Butters has been gaslighted his entire life, and the emotional and physical abuse he receives from his parents has led to humiliating and childlike obedience (what 18-year-old accepts being grounded for using twitter after 9pm?). When he’s caught doing wrong by his parents, all his self-confidence and cowboy-like bravado is shot to smithereens: he’s just a no good miscreant who ain’t gonna amount to nothin’, so he may as well give up on his dreams and stick to bein’ a plain ol’ nobody.

History:

Butters was born to Linda and Stephen Stotch on 11th September 2000. Ever since that fateful day, his life has been nothing but chaos and control and, though he wakes up to the sound of his own screams every night, he’s grateful for every opportunity he gets. It would be impossible to write all of his ups and downs in a couple of paragraphs, but there are two things that have really shaped Butters as a person.

One: his family. Stephen Stotch uses fear to control his son whilst his mom, Linda, is dangerously protective. Though seventeen, Butters still calls his dad ‘sir’ to his face and does what he’s told or faces severe consequences. The night that his mom asked him to stalk his father to the bathhouse changed a lot of things; he saw the internalised secrets and lies that have corrupted both of his parents and has watched them wear white-picket-fence masks in public every damn day since. He saw his dad embrace his sexuality yet treat it as a sin. He experienced his mom, breaking down, vulnerable and distressed, ready to kill her own son. Not to mention the time he was sold to Paris Hilton as a pet. Linda and Stephen Stotch are manipulative and controlling parents whose ‘love’ of their son, however much they fret over him and cover him with kisses, will never make up for the trauma instilled in him.

Two: his friends. Scrotie McBoogerballs, AWESOME-O, Good Times with Weapons, Marjorine, Casa Bonita. The list of shenanigans that Butters been apart of, and victim of, is endless. He’s been locked in a fridge, publicly shamed on television and stabbed in the eye with a shuriken, yet he still hangs out with these guys. Why? Because he was never part of the gang in kindergarten, and he’s never really had a true friend, someone who has made the effort to see what he’s been through and respect him regardless. Besides, hanging with these guys (whatever injuries and humiliation they bring to him) has given him a strength he never knew he had. He’s become a pimp, rekindled his confidence to dance, got his wiener out at school, become a best-selling novelist and, best of all, learned to say no to Eric Cartman. Not bad for a good-for-nothin’.

  Sample paragraph: (At least two paragraphs, centred around your character)

For the first time in a long time, Butter’s internal sludge pile of shame and humiliation is joined by anger. He’s so gosh darn mad that he don’t care who knows it, but no-one is gonna know it, ‘cause he got no cell, no internet, and no hope’a gettin’ outta his stupid ol’ room. It’s the same ol’ story: Eric and the fellas convinced him to get a fake ID so they could get some sorta fancy alcohol for Bebe’s party tonight. Kyle said it had to be him, ‘cause he looks the oldest, and he’s the best actor outta all of ‘em. Butters ain’t sure if that’s true, but he appreciated the compliment, and it’s a bad pal that says no to a favour, especially when the entire party rested on his hands.

He got the booze, alright. And he was nice and proud of himself, until Eric said it was the wrong one. Ain’t no one wants to drink this kindergarten crap, Eric said, we’re men now, we gotta drink whiskey. Well, Butters thinks whiskey tastes like butt, and ain’t no one wants to taste butt, ‘cept maybe Kenny. He thought the blue an’ pink bottles looked cute and bubblegum is his favourite flavour, no doubt about it, but maybe he should’a followed the plan and done what he was told. Darn it all.

He was in trouble with the guys, but at least he weren’t in trouble with his mom and dad, and that meant he’d finally be able to go to a real life party, maybe show off his dancin’ skills and eat some cheese and pineapple sticks. But then they found his fake idea when doin’ their routine search’a his room, and all hell broke loose. You ain’t goin’ anwhere today, mister, they said, you’re gonna sit right here on your tushie an’ think about the consequences of identity fraud. I’m goin’ to that party, Buttons said, puttin’ his foot down. Well, that  just about earned a slap around the noggin and a week without his cell, so he couldn’t even tell the fellas he weren’t comin’ tonight.

A knock on his window jolts him outta his angry pacing. He doesn’t want to look up, ‘cause he knows it’s probably Eric, comin’ over just to make fun of his current predicament and boast all about how much fun he’s gonna have tonight. Well Butters weren’t gonna have it, no sir-ee. He puts his hands on his hips and he gets ready to march right over there and give Eric a proper telling to, but then he sees it ain’t Eric, it’s Kenny, an’ he got a proper determined look on his face.

“We’re breaking you out,” Kenny says, an’ Butters ain’t gonna argue this time.

Headcanons: 

Butters still plays Hello Kitty Island Adventures, but he’s also a massive animal crossing fan. Any game that lets him escape his house, have some independence, and talk to (or raise) cute animals can keep him hooked for hours. Unfortunately, his mom and dad turn the internet off at 9pm and keep his phone in their bedroom at night. 

Butters keeps his sexuality a secret from his parents, and it’s no surprise why. After his mom found out about his dad’s trip to the bathhouse (subsequently attempting to murder her son) and after a gruelling (and very confusing) trip to conversion camp, Butters thought it best to hide any ‘abnormal’ feelings. Fortunately, his friends and their often open sexualities has made him feel comfortable and confident with himself, and he’s resoundingly grateful for it.

He is quietly considering his gender and what it means to be Butters. At the moment, he doesn’t think he needs to put a name to it, but it doesn’t hurt to research, and he’s ecstatic to see he isn’t the only one who doesn’t sit on one end of the binary. Though exploring the possibility of being non-binary, he’s happy to be referred to by male pronouns for now.

Butters wants to be a pre-school teacher, even after what happened to Ms. Claridge. He loves drawing and storytelling and wants to share those gifts to others, helping kids who might not be happy at home.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t think his mum will let him go as far as college without having a breakdown or threatening something real bad. Though his parents have started to treat him a little better as he’s got older, their distrust of the world around them, and of their son, has grown rapidly.

Butters works part-time at the ice cream parlour and adds something special to every sale. Most of the time he uses the wafers and chocolate chips to make little teddy bears, but his extra special treat (for people he really likes) is the unicorn uni-cone with lots of sparkles.

Butters is a wonderful artist! He loves using watercolour pencils and paint the best and though his work isn’t always the most profound (it’s usually portraits of his friends or cute animals he sees), it's always beautifully coloured and full of love.  

Anything else: thank u guys 4 the opportunity

[tanikawrites]

A Very Merry Bollywood Romance: My Personal Favourites

I'm not going to say 'there's nothing like it' merely on account of the fact that I grew up immersed in watching hours upon hours of Bollywood fantasies, but rather because I can say with hand on heart that there's something about Indian cinema that really knows how to make you feel. I don't whether it's the oozing charisma and genuity of the actors; how passions and flavour is woven into every detail and gesture; whether it's the fact that your screen explodes with unapologetic culture and colour, or the way the music surges through you like wine through water. True, it can be ridiculously cheesy (to the point where I've even had to leave the room for cringing), but when it comes to mixing serendipity with the sensuous to equate with an experience of heart-rendering love, then honestly; nowhere but India can do finer.

This admittedly comes a little late after Valentine's day, however I was inspired to collab together some of my favourite Bollywood romances of all time (or at least the last twenty-two years) to share in the hopes of inspiring your next Netflix binge if you feel the itch to dive into something different (and better) than your usual rom-com agenda.

Khabi Khushi Khabie Gham (Through Smiles or Through Tears, 2001)

'If you want to be something in life, want to get something in life, or want to win something in life, then listen to your heart always. And if you don’t get any answer from your heart, then close your eyes; think of your mother and father's names, and see how you will reach your destiny, overcome all your hurdles. Victory will be yours. Only yours.'

 You'd be hard pressed to find anyone in India who hasn't heard of this iconic number, this being India's answer to a cult classic like our own Bridget Jones or Notting Hill. Karan Johar's infamous blockbuster is a millennial Bollywood icon, and if you don't find yourself soaked in your own tears at least five times during the three-hour duration, then I would duly recommend getting your eye-ducts checked. And your conscience.

 Khabi Khushi Khabie Gham (or KKKG as it is also affectionately known) is first on this list as it is as quintessentially Bollywood perhaps as it gets: entourages of lavish dance sequences and ornate cinematography, all the while underlined with emotional questions surrounding obligations not only to one's culture and home but moreover to one's self. It concerns the consequences of when Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan), adopted son of wealthy businessman Yash Raichand (Amitabh Bachchan), dares to forsake the perfectly selected match his father has picked for him for that of the exuberant Anjali (Kajol) from the lower-class sphere of Chandni Chowk. His choice in prioritising love over tradition and duty creates a fracture in the family dynamic over a span of ten years, this only finally being addressed when his younger brother Rohan (Hrithik Roshan) chooses to repair his broken family and reunite a dedicated mother (Jaya Bachchan) with her favourite son.

 KKKG is one of my first choices whenever introducing newcomers to Bollywood as it would be difficult to find much to complain about with it. Yes it has its cheesy moments and a lot of the humour might require some cultural know-how, yet the comedy in question is so perfectly scripted that it doesn't detriment the moments of extreme emotionality - on the contrary, it positively amplifies it. I have additionally always had a soft spot for Anjali and Rahul as their relationship understandingly matures given the circumstances of their union, especially given Rahul's decision to move their small sect of their family out of India entirely. Regardless they still remain hilariously argumentative and flirtatious the whole way through, their more traditional relationship being paralleled through the younger and more westernised dynamic between Rohan and Anjali's younger sister, Pooja (Kareena Kapoor). The film is a package deal for all the emotions and a bonanza of some of the best acting talent in the industry, the love story being not just between one man and woman but towards one's home and family.

 BEST SONG: Title Track

Mohabbatein (Love Stories, 2000)

'Love is like life; it's not always easy and it does not always bring you happiness, but if we do not stop living, then why should we stop loving?'

Now, Mohabbatein has a far more lavish layer of cheese slathered across it than the predecessor on the list, but that may be more down to how the cast is comprised of a camaraderie of newcomers alongside more the more accomplished acting masters. Mohabbatein is the story of three students who each fall in love whilst studying at the prestigious all-male college Gurukul under the lense of the strict headmaster Narayan Shankar (Amitabh Bachchan) - his most iron-clad rule bizarrely being that no-one is to pursue romantic relationships whilst under his roof for risk of immediate expulsion. Whilst all hope seems lost then for these horny *ahem* love-struck adolescents, enter the charismatic and emphatically romantic music teacher Raj Malhotra (Shah Rukh Khan). His presence at first seems innocent enough in his encouragement for the boys to nurture their affections as Robin Williams encouraged his own students in the pursuit of poetry, especially as it soon comes to light that Raj's own great love, Megha (Aishwarya Rai), committed suicide when her father expelled Raj when he learned of their relationship; determined that the two were not allowed to be together. That same father then being the unyielding Narayan Shankar.

 Mohabbatein then makes for such brilliant cinema and engrossing romance as it combines all the freshness and innocence of young love with the intensity of passions that transcend the boundaries of life and death. The sense of pathos invoked by Chopra is interweaved into every detail of the piece, from music to performance; the preposterous and absurd. The confrontations between Bachchan and Khan in this piece are far more enigmatic than in KKKG given the different stakes between a father and son and the different types of love that two men can feel when grieving over the loss of the same woman. It proves one of my favourites time and again given how, for all the playfulness and somewhat ridiculous outlines in the plot, it is the eternalised love that is embodied by Raj and Megha, and the wondrous idea that not even mortality stands as a barrier between those that truly love each other, that will be hard pressed to feel like your heart might physically glow.

 BEST SONG: Humko Humise Churalo / Zinda Rehti Hain Mohabbatein

Hasee toh Phasee (She smiles, she's snared, 2014)

'You are the oxygen to my double hydrogen. Our chemistry flows like water.'

 This more modern film addresses far more contemporary issues than its predecessors, the complex relationship between Nikhil (Siddarth Malhotra) and Meeta (Parineeti Chopra) abandoning perhaps much of the traditional grandeur in place of what one could argue is closer to the standard quirky, slice-of-life style typical of an adolescent British rom-com. What is indisputable is that even without as much of a flair for the dramatic and the abundance of glamour, the film still radiates with a palpable sense of heart, as it invites us to explore what happens when flustered yet well-meaning Nikhil becomes saddled with looking after his fiancee, Karishma's, eccentric sister during the week before their wedding. One can't help but chuckle and squirm as we watch Nikhil's hapless attempts to pass Meeta off as a long-lost friend to his family and friends in his and Karishma's efforts to conceal her from her own family, the reasons for her freakish personality going unspoken except for the ominous pills she keeps popping on the sly.

 We soon realise the reason Meeta has been isolated from her family is due to how she chose to prioritise her academic ambitions over that of the traditional femininity and getting dolled up for the purposes of marriage and domesticity; the disappointment invested towards her paving a way for a natural connection with an equally lost Nikhil in his endless efforts to appease the incessant demands of his more materialistic fiancee. This then is what makes the film even more compelling given how it goes against the culturally ingrained stereotypes of the man managing to be the effortless, seductive hero, able to provide and fight for the woman he loves in conjunction to the beauteous and elusive heroine. Instead, it invokes a relationship about two people who feel lost in the oppression of society's expectations, the result being that despite judgemental relatives and unstable emotionality, the two are able to find something magical that can only be brought out in each other.

 BEST SONG: Ishq Bulaava / Manchala

Pardes (Foreign Land, 1997)

'You've all mistaken me for some innocent little painting that you've framed in gold, and now you want me to hang on these walls in silence and become a part of this false decor! This isn't the dream I came to this foreign land with, is it?'

Now, this is a controversial one. Pardes is probably the most politically charged movie on this list as it is famous for being an incredibly evocative piece of anti-Western propaganda. It concerns what happens when free-spirited Ganga (Mahima Chaudhary) is handed in marriage to the son of a wealthy NRI (Non-Resident Indian), however the vastness of the difference in culture on top of the distance between India and America sees to it that the outcome of such an engagement comes to some horrific consequences. Pardes is primarily then about the clash between cultures when the innocent essence of India is dragged to and exposed within the more confident and lavish shores of America. This premise in itself may seem problematic and would understandably evoke outrage as America is intentionally built up as the criminalised empire in the face of the all-pure India, however, what the viewer must remember when watching Pardes is that it is quintessentially a story about consent and respect. It's about acknowledging the difference in cultures and adhering to ways of life you may not understand, rather than trying to overwhelm and consume that sense of 'otherness' like a tyrannical Frankenstein 'penetrating into the secrets of nature' and causing chaos for everyone. It is fair to say then that Pardes is problematic and the socio-political accuracy of the piece could be spat upon until the cows come home, but it is this sense of duality and complication that makes it so interesting.

The main romantic storyline of the film then may be more of a Trojan horse for the more significant aspects for discussion, but it is more than fair to say that the political stakes are squarely matched by the passions at play. After all, when the wholly Americanised Rajiv (Apurva Agnihotri) proves to be more than a little bit of a disappointment, it is the relationship between Ganga and his adopted brother Arjun (Shah Rukh Khan) that comes to full heart-warming fruition. Arjun's role as the mediator between Ganga and Rajiv in trying to fulfil his adopted father's wish in smoothing the match over quickly escalates to into him becoming Ganga's most trusted confidante and defender. One can recognise perhaps the outdated sense of chivalry in this - especially as the inclusion of the attempted rape scene does appear to be an excuse for tensions to culminate in a traditional, Bollywood-esque full-on fist fight. However, credit has to be duly cast to the writers as they characterise Arjun as possessing a rare sense of compassion and empathy, especially given how his proclamation of love for Ganga is based not on lust but his genuine desire to trust, revere, respect and protect. In addition to this, it is easy to admire Ganga for her perseverance in trying to navigate this foreign land, she becoming all the more engaging for her burgeoning determination without the expense of her self-respect and ingrained love for her home nation. The prioritisation of one another's welfare above their own alongside becoming embroiled in their sense of duty to tradition and family is then what makes their journey towards each other so compelling and heart-wrenching. Pardes is a love story with incredibly heavy undertones that would have to be entered with a particularly open mind, but perhaps once the offences have been fully digested, one can fully appreciate why the film is so renowned; with a love that is all at once devastating as it is wonderful and profound.  

 Devdas (2002)

'Where can I find again my lost innocence? My lost dreams? My lost childhood? What happened to my home in the shade of the trees?'

 If there was ever an answer to the intensity and literary grandeur of tragic romances the like of Romeo and Juliet or Abelard and Heloise, then Devdas slaps back with unparalleled panache. If it wasn't a love story in its own right then Devdas is indisputably an affair for the senses; Sanjay Leela Bhansali's breath-taking production instilling every scene and action with such aestheticism that the Pre-Raphaelites are, no doubt, positively quaking. The story is no doubt a tragedy, following the titular character's (Shah Rukh Khan's) debilitating descent into alcoholism following his childhood sweetheart, Paro's (Aishwarya Rai), marriage after his mother ridicules her family for being descended from prostitutes a long time back down the line of their ancestry. Ironically enough, he seeks relief in leaving his home and taking shelter with a friend who works at a brothel, his emotional deterioration subject to the fruitless effortless of the heartfelt taiwaif (courtesan) Chandramukhi (Madhuri Dixit).

The relationship between Dev and Paro is continuously fraught with psychological manipulation as the two try to progress with their lives whilst undeniably in love with each other, the acting on the parts of Khan and Rai being so invigorating that it would not be surprising to find yourself holding your breath whenever the two are on screen. the interactions between Khan and Dixit are additionally moving as they have a deeper understanding of one another, their relationship perhaps being all the more rueful in the sense of it being a one-sided sense of self-sacrifice as Dev continues to ruminate over a love he can never have. Indeed, though Khan is typically praised for his rigorous performance, it has been disputed that it is perhaps the talent and dynamic between Rai and Dixit in their roles as Paro and Chandramukhi - the aristocrat and the courtesan - is the actual showstopper in this magnificent piece. It was never in the original story after all that the two women should have a relationship outside their original and comparatively brief confrontation over who loves Dev more, so that fact that Bhansali chooses to instal and flesh out the friendship between these two equally fierce and magnetic women is but one of the aspects that makes this film so essential and inspiring.

BEST SONG: All of them omg

Goliyon ki Rasleela Ram-Leela (A Play on Bullets: Ram-Leela, 2013)

'If hatred and pride can make a desert of the sea, then love can make flowers bloom here.'

 Let's establish this from the start -  Baz Luhrmann can choke.

This is how a real Rom-and Jules-adaption is done. As the most sultry addition to the list by far (seriously, phew), Ram-Leela admittedly does take a lot of liberties with the narrative. Nevertheless, any alterations or revisions that have been made are entirely for the better. In fact, even if you were to take the stance that Romeo and Juliet were as young and naive as they are in order to heighten the tragedy of violence and conflict, then it becomes more than reasonable to argue that Ram-Leela actually captures the essence of the play more than the stagnant Western replicas that have plagued us in the past. We still have the warring families, the star-crossed lovers and poetics on steroids, only that the narrative is enhanced by the rawness of rural Rajasthan to bring Shakespeare’s message to better fruition.  Indeed, if you, like me then, have always been able to appreciate the ideologies behind the original play, yet remained impatient with the immaturity and implausibility of the titular characters in spite of yourself, then Ram-Leela provides the perfect amendment to all those irritations. Instead, we see two leads who are far more enthralling and philosophical, the opposition between them being so devastating given how Bhansali interweaves dramatic irony with frustrating relish. It comes down to how the Rajadis and Saneras cause the original Montagues and Capulets to look embarrassingly spineless by comparison; their inconceivable prowess in being able to manipulate even their own playing on our expectations so much that it cements the romance firmly within the boundaries of tragedy.

 Indeed, we are not just treated to a brief separation between the two until the time of death, but rather the stage is reset so that Ram (Ranveer Singh) and Leela (Deepika Padukone) become the respective heads of their families and are forced to war against each other - and not entirely against their own wills either. The film encompasses a similar sense of passionate antagonisation that abounds in Devdas as well then, the irony being that the more fraught and frayed the relationship, the more your heart aches for want of the forsaken lovers to be able to make it. In truth, the film actually starts out ridiculously playfully with bounties of energy and innuendo, the fact that it is able to convincingly transition on its axis to become so emotionally straining being a credit to Bhansali's directorial ingenuity. Of course, the chemistry between the leads in Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone is near indescribable, both balancing refreshing elements of mischief and charm alongside intense vulnerability and ardour. Critics have labelled their performances as probably being still the finest of their careers (which is saying plenty, trust me), the camaraderie between the two hardly being surprising. After all, the two did just get married late last year - and on the anniversary of the film's original release date no less! So if that doesn't convince you of the quality of such a love story, then I'm afraid that you will be convinced by very little else.

 BEST SONG: Lahu Munh Lag Gaya / Nagada Sang Dohl / Laal Ishq

 Kal Ho Naa Ho (Tomorrow might not be, 2014)

'Listen - live, be happy, smile, because who knows? Tomorrow might not be.'

 Honestly, in light of all the films that have been listed before now, with their mind-blowing cinematography, incredibly moving soundtracks and ground-breaking scopes of acting, Kal Ho Naa Ho might seem to fall a little short. It's set in the dreary din of New York, the soundtrack is more constructed towards fun and contemporary glamour, yet it is undeniable that this film is my favourite of the whole bunch. The top of my list of romantic Bops then is the story of Naina (Preity Zinta) and the many complications which taint her family; the pressure being so much that she has been rendered the constant embodiment of irritability. And even forgotten how to smile. Everything turns around when Aman (Shah Rukh Khan) enters the family's life: optimistic, charismatic and caring, he literally breathes new life into Naina's existence, so that before long she finds herself completely devoted to him in place of the unspoken affections of her closest friend, Rohit (Saif Ali Khan). What pans out is that on the verge of telling Aman she loves him however is that he tells Naina that the reason he came to New York was to repair his frayed relationship with his wife, Priya (Sonali Bendre). Unbeknownst to the bereft Naina, this is, in fact, a lie. The truth is that Priya is actually Aman's doctor and he doesn't have much time left to live.

I don't know then whether it's because the characters and scenarios are so well grounded, the dynamics and difficulties within the Kapur family are more relatable, or that the relationships between and constructions of characters are perhaps the most believable, but it's one of those films that you'll agree, once you've watched it, has an inexplicable sensibility that takes the cake every time. A lot of it does seem to be grounded in the healthy and brilliant way the love triangle is handled in the film, as any sense of complication or rivalry between Rohit and Aman is evoked as comedy rather than any serious resentment or envy. It's an incredibly unique love triangle then and this is perhaps why it has garnered so much critical respect, as the love-triangle motif is such a typical motif of Bollywood cinema (with repeatedly toxic and violent confrontations like in Pardes), that it is refreshing to see a love depicted so genuinely and platonically. It's even more heart-warming to watch as Aman does his best efforts to ensure that Naina walks with Rohit down the aisle (or the Saptapadi to be precise) all the while wielding his best façade so that she never realises that he loves her too. In fact, the affections between them are so subtle and few that the effect is paradoxically more intense, as you find yourself latching onto every fleeting sign of love between them that you can. KHNH then is another one that I recommend first and foremost, though in truth it's best not to watch it too often unless you have a few days to spare in which to emotionally recover.

 BEST SONG: Titular track

 And there you have it - they may not be the best according to everyone's taste, but the romances listed above are some of the most critically acclaimed and effective Bollywood masterpieces to ever grace the silver screen. Though they may start as cliched and melodramatic, with too much dance and quirky dynamic, this is always a foil to deep-rooted passions and die-hard affections - each a romantic experience above and beyond any of your expectations.

Tanika Lane

[ofphcenixes]

howdy y’all !! it is currently new years eve here in australia, and what have i decided to do instead of Being Social and Party Like It’s 1999 ? come off hiatus dkjfgdf. because of a horridly busy and Emo™ time that had me out of action for like, two whole weeks kfjgdfg i’ve decided i’m gonna do a quick recap intro with some wanted connections for both BLUE & NATE so if we haven’t plotted yet, hopefully it’ll be a bit easier !! 

if we’ve plotted before or you dislike me on account of my colour alias or my preference in cheese, please feel free to ignore this !! but i look forward to plotting with all of you properly now that i can be around, so please like this post if you wanna plot. <3 also i owe so many people discord responses dfkjgdf. and pls know i’ve been meaning to reply to those, but i’ve felt so Anxious about leaving some people on read and replying to others that I wanted to do them all at the same time. a foolish choice ? you decide ! ( however i am working on discord messages tonight also ). but read below for Quik Fax on my bois !

BLUE HAWTHORNE. 

about.

link to original intro HERE.

blue’s bio, stats and hcs are HERE.

blue’s connections HERE.

despite what my intro says ( which i v much recommend you read just for a lil more breadth of blue as a muse ) he is,,, a memey boi

don’t mistake his dislike of daisey as an overall representation of him as a person - he’s usually v kind, probably a bit of an enabler lmao and will do anything to see people smile. gotta get that validation.

he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed ( me: has allstar flashbacks ) BUT his slow uptake is counterbalanced by his usually well enlightened humour and genuine concern for others

he’s that bish that plays football and hosts the parties tbh !! 

definitely the class clown. does not have nearly as much game in the Dating World as he thinks, if he could spend two seconds without showing memes. but if memes are your kink, well, blue may be your soulmate lbr

has a bit of a Troubled Past

honestly ?? is trying to move on from the past. he only wants good moments, good friends, good memories in his life. he’s got no time for the negative. ( until daisey had to go and fUCKING DIE )

still owns a tamogotchi

wanted plots.

SPLASH || it’s the middle of winter, and you find yourself at the local pool. the indoor heated pool is probably great this time of year, and blue happens to be the lifeguard at the time. could do a funny thread, a cute thread, a dramatic/emo thread, or really anything !! i’d just love to be able to have the backdrop be blue at his Place of Employment.

STAY THE NIGHT || a common occurrence at st ettiene university is for blue and his roommates to open up their house in the student villa for some fun. especially with the curfew in place, these parties would be more rare and blue never shies away from a challenge. a fun thread perhaps where your muse is drunk. maybe blue takes care of them, maybe tries to take them home safely. maybe they just have a serendipitous Bond over beer and the roar of music. maybe they decide to try and bake and everything goes wrong gkdjfgdkf

INVINCIBLE || it may be clear to you now that blue is basically,,, one big kid. and as st etienne is known for their sprawling forests, it’s a popular place for jogging, picnics, cute rendezvous and well, now a murder lmfao, it’s a scary place to be. do you know what would make it less scary tho ??? a pet. more specifically, a dog. your muse catches blue with the pupper and. an unlikely friendship ( perhaps joint custody ?? ) of a dog omg. we stan rebels in this house.

CHILDLIKE || this one is super lame BUT blue never had much of a childhood in the traditional sense so i’d absolutely LOVE for a cute thread with someone where they do cute childish things ?? play hide and seek, build a tree fort, play with a playstation, eat really old snacks. anything. 

wanted connections.

HISTORY||blue was mixed up in a lot of things as a teenager - petty crime, substance, you name it. this person would have been in this 'group’ with blue also (anywhere from ages 13-19). maybe that person is still very much in that crowd and resents blue for leaving, or maybe they’ve left it behind too.  

TUTOR || oh my GOD blue is destined to fail here. he has a very short attention span, which makes him super frustrated bc he loves what he’s doing. he is going to be a teacher, and it’s only the maths/science that is tripping him up. any person who would help him would earn his eternal gratitude.

FORMER BULLY||this muse grew up in ashmont also, and bullied blue as a child. maybe they’ve reverted their ways and want to be forgiven, or maybe they’ve doubled down on the hate and now see blue for the fake he is.

SIN || blue has cleaned up his act. as a teen he was living a very dangerous lifestyle, and has for the most part, turned it all around. but maybe... maybe there’s someone out there who’s slowly luring blue back to this darkness he misses. their friendship is a secret, they meet in the cloak of darkness ( so blue’s friends are none the wiser he’s headed this way again ), and they simply drink and smoke and other things... >:)

NATHANIEL BALLANTYNE. 

about.

link to original intro HERE

because i applied for nate then literally skedaddled for ages, he hasn’t had time to develop on the dash. however,,,, he is not a Good Bean. in fact i actually kinda hate him in a fun way.

pretentious, wealthy, slightly germophobic, wickedly intelligent, wicked in general, and incredibly conceited

although he is Handsome, he cares more about his image as a modicum of academia as opposed to looking hot. he probably would be considered more attractive if he didn’t have such an extensive collection of suit squares kjgfhdkjfd

was super close with daisey. their parents had sort of pined for the pair to get married actually, for monetary reasons. but nate ?? v much team daisey. he doesn’t show emotions and he won’t admit it to ANYONE, but ,,, he’s super emo about her having been found. 

is both chidi and trevor from the good place

but ye he is gonna yell at you and wanna fite ( but not physically cos slenderman here has noodle arms )

wanted plots.

DINNER PARTY || given that there are a lot of rich socialite families here, i figure that nate’s family is bound to know a few of the other wealthy families !! a fun lil thread we could possibly do is have the pair run into each other at one of these galas. maybe it’s a run-of-the-mill affair, maybe it’s something run by the rutherfords that these two happen to both be attending, maybe it’s run through the university. maybe it’s a charity gala. maybe it’s a new years’ eve event. either way, nate is dressed up in his nicest tux and his most expensive watch, your muse is also dressed up nicely, and we can plot depending on the chemistry/connection/relation between our muses what happens ! they could be friendly somewhat, maybe they hate each other, maybe they’re childhood friends. let’s discuss. >:)

GRIEVE || nate doesn’t do ‘emotion’. he doesn’t do sympathy, empathy, or anything reminiscent to being human. but one day he finds himself at daisey’s grave and is absolutely lost for words - a rarity. and it just so happens your muse is also there too. they could have been there to visit daisey, or maybe someone else. but this could be a v interesting thread and you’ll see a side of nate that... no one should ever see kdfjgdf. 

STARS ABOVE || as a major of astrophysics and heading towards his phd, nate loves the stars. it’s probably the only positive emotion he has kjgfdkjgdf. so i dont know HOW this would work, but perhaps nate and someone else look for the stars together. nate has a whole professional set up and is like,,, a total nerd so he’s not fooled by the mysticism or, admittedly, the romance of it. maybe your character is high and happens upon him at night, maybe your muse thinks that nate is the killer ( lmao ) and wants to investigate, maybe your muse is a fellow chess/debate/environmental conversation member and wants to get to know this billy goat gruff. 

wanted connections. 

FOR BETTER OR WORSE || nate is a perfect person to fulfill everyone’s favourite trope of ‘the good person wanting their love to transform the bad person into a good person’. maybe it’s platonic, maybe it’s romantic, but someone wants  to make nate a better man. what i say to them - good luck lmfao. however i’d love to plot this out as it could go literally anyway !!

ENEMIES || fuck, i need nate to have all the enemy connections. i figure most people will dislike him on principle anyway bc he’s human rubbish kgjkdf BUT maybe they are academic rivals ? maybe they grew up together and have always been competing ? maybe they used to be friends and they fell out ? maybe nate said something horrible to them and they were never forgiven ? maybe their true enemy was daisey and since nate was essentially her best friend for a bit, they are enemies by consequence ? 

HATESHIP || i can’t decide what i want more kdjfgdkf but basically ??? this friendship is of two people who don’t like each other, but they hate literally everyone else so they join together in their mutual hatred. maybe they actually bond more over time, maybe their somewhat petty rant sessions about everyone else never change. either way, it would be super fun to have nate be in a 70 year old woman dynamic with someone dkfjgd. 

these ideas are certainly not definitive, but can be a fun jumping point or perhaps just a source for discussion !! if we haven’t plotted before now is the best time to do so. so if literally any of this you think will work with your muse, or you have an idea inspired by something mentioned here, i promise you, i’m up for pretty much anything ( SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO MY BEST FRIEND ANGST ). pls like this post if you wanna plot, and i look forward to spamming you all and be lucky enough to interact with all your muses. <3

also sorry i deadass disappeared for a fortnight lmfao

[faces-in-unexpected-places]

Do You Have the Time? Episode 007: Family

[March 26th, 2018, 11:53]

Madison stood outside of the main chemistry building with her headphones on and scrolled through various apps on her phone. She had tied her windbreaker around her waist because the weather decided to cooperate half-way through the morning. March was never a predictable month where she lived. Some days were freezing, others were windy, some snowed, and even more variants were sunny. Today was supposed to be freezing, but all patches of snow were gone by 10:00. A glare pierced her retina, and she shielded her face with her free hand. And look who decided to come out today. Luckily for Madison, the impossible-to-perceive changes made by the climate’s spring season often left her backpack riddled with useful things. Usually they were left unintentionally hidden somewhere on account of the sudden need for some other seasonal accessory in the past, but she wasn’t about to start doubting her convenient and forgetful way for coming through for her future self now.

Madison rifled through the various pockets and compartments of her bag for her pair of sunglasses. Within the minute, she found them stowed away in some place she has no recollection of putting them in. In that moment, she could feel the sun. She put her Ray-Bans on.

People complimented her on her sunglasses a lot, which surprised her when she bought them. At first, she was worried that she might look too much like Harry Potter because the lenses were circular; but she later decided that it didn’t matter. Harry Potter was freaking awesome and if someone said that she did in fact look like him, then it would have been the kindest words they could have given her. She wondered if Harry wore round sunglasses just like his regular prescription. So long as he had a separate pair of sunglasses that were prescription and he didn’t have those clip-on lenses that old people use. Maybe sixty-year-old HP would use them.

Madison hummed in her thoughts and chuckled. 

She wondered if Leopold wore those kinds of glasses. Immediately after, Madison remembered that Leopold did not wear prescription glasses to begin with, so the clip-ons would be pointless. The clip-ons did seem useful, though. If she could pull off regular, circular sunglasses, maybe she could sport some prescription glasses with sunglass clip-ons. She supposed the only conflict standing in her way was that she had 20/20 vision.

She opened her web browser on her phone and typed ‘how to damage your eyesight’. Something about her train of thought and actions caused her to erupt in laughter. Surprisingly, the first few search results are exactly what she was ‘looking for’. She rolled her eyes at the idea, chuckled and returned to her various phone apps. Jeremy was four minutes late. Maybe she would hassle him for his obvious inaccuracy. Her grin strengthened on her face as she considered the idea. A message appeared at the top of her screen while she was on her entertainment high. The last thing she wanted to see at the moment.

‘General Chemistry I: Grade Posted 11:54’.

Her smile wore away and she opened up the notification. Might as well get it over with as soon as she could. The reason that she was let out early, that she hid from the group chat, was because today was an exam day. Her third exam out of five. And she also happened to be blessed with a professor who is so eager to mark all of her wrong answers that he does so before the official end of the class period. Exam III: 71%, C-.

Madison sighed and shut off the phone’s screen. Stuffing it back into her pocket felt like the best course of action in response to that news. Just in time, Jeremy pulled up in front of the chemistry building for her. Eager to leave campus, she leapt down the stairs and threw herself into the passenger seat of the car. Jeremy quietly acknowledged her and set them on course for home.

“So, what happened with the lab?” Madison asked, expecting further explanation from the group chat..

“Leslie and I made some headway before actual work started, but once it did, Sophia came in and shut it all down,” he replied flatly.

“God, what did she do?”

“Found a way to ‘evacuate’ us because of some suspected gas leak.”

“Damn. Is it legit, do you think?”

“Not sure. We didn’t have enough time to really investigate it. We just took everything we could and left before they kicked us out,” he explained, “I had to take IO to stay in the robotics lab.”

“Oh, poor little guy. That sucks.”

“The robotics lab… that Sophia volunteers in,” he said uncomfortably.

“What?” Madison yelped and turned towards him, “Why would you do that?”

“What else could I have done, Madison?” he replied, sharply, “I have no other spaces to keep IO in. You know what happens if we keep him in the apartment.”

“I know, but Sophia? Really?”

“She’s not the only one that works there. And she’s a volunteer anyway. I’ll keep in touch with IO the whole time our lab is closed.”

“Well, good luck. Hope the poor thing is okay.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There was a silent lull for a few minutes. Madison tensely looked out the window while Jeremy drove without uttering a word. She brainstormed ways to break the awkward static before they arrived at their apartment.

“So you and Les spent some alone time together this morning then, huh?” She joked.

“Madison, please.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”

Another awkward silence. So, he definitely didn’t think that was funny.

“Are you excited for the research-dinner party?” She asked.

“I suppose,” he answered, “It’ll be nice to update Leopold on what Leslie and I put together. I’d really like to get this preliminary stuff out of the way, and start testing our hypotheses.”

“I’m excited to see Leslie’s place!” She added, “She’s so organised, I bet it will be super clean and stuff.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will be,” Jeremy said in a lighter tone, “What do you think you’ll do in the meantime before it’s time to leave?”

“Ehh… not sure. Maybe dick around online for a bit. I can only take so much of being aggressively average at chemistry before I decide to give it a rest and waste my time on the computer.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll let you know when it’s time to go,” Jeremy said as he pulled into their parking space outside of their apartment complex.

It didn’t take long for Jeremy to disappear into his room after they managed to make their way up the stairs and into their apartment. Madison entered her own room, slumped down into her bed and rested her body. She could feel her limbs get heavy as she stared up at her ceiling mobile decorated with different coloured leaves. She felt that adult mobiles were a far under-appreciated invention. 

Despite the tense silences that happened in the car, she felt that her conversation with Jeremy ended on a definitively neutral tone, rather than a hostile one. She’d take neutral over that any day. The only thing left for her to do, that she could think of, was brush up on all board games that Leslie may have, so that she could wipe the floor with her, Jeremy and Leopold at the party.

Jeremy let his backpack plummet to the floor and settled onto his bed, facedown on the mattress. He laid still for a few minutes, simply letting the tension out of his limbs. It hadn’t occurred to him how stiff he was throughout the day. From working with Leslie, getting frustrated with GraviTime, having an altercation with Leslie, having numerous confusing altercations with Sophia, and then talking to Madison on the way home. Though thankfully, their last conversation didn’t seem as difficult as their previous ones.

He rolled over to the side of his bed to inspect the papers in his bag. There was a large folder that he had almost forgotten about. It was filled with lab reports from the 1 credit hour undergraduate physics lab course that he was a teaching assistant for. He was grateful that the university offered him a contract to TA one of the lab courses for money in addition to giving him a stipend. Renting his room in the apartment would have been difficult without the deal. Despite the variety of kids he saw in an introductory course, it was actually a refreshing way to spend his time. Grading needed to be finished by the 28th.

Before surrendering to the pull to the bed, Jeremy sluggishly ambled off of his bed and knelt down in front of his ant farm sitting on a small stand near his door. It looked like the microcosm might need some water soon. He wondered how ants were so structured and coordinated. As did everyone with an ant farm, he supposed. If these ants could thrive and build with only the limited resources provided in their space, then surely he and everyone else could function a few days without the lab. Maybe he would work on an idea for an alternate location to do work like Leslie did with her dinner party.

[March 26th, 2018, 14:40]

Leslie shambled up the last flight of stairs with various reusable grocery bags filling her hands and hanging off her body. She struggled down the hallway, huffing and contorting her body to keep the bags from tipping and spilling her dinner ingredients. At last, apartment 4 on the third floor. She beamed in relief, but the expression quickly faded. She needed to unlock the door. A faint sigh escaped as she shuffled her purse around until she could access it. With just a few seconds to spare, Leslie managed to unlock her door, get inside and drop half the bags down on her dining room table. Another moment, and there may have been a messy disaster. She relieved herself of the burden from the bags slung over her shoulders, and slumped down into one of the chairs at the dinning room table, rubbing her arms.

Looking about her apartment, she immediately began picking apart the things that needed to be fixed before her guests arrived. Too many objects on her coffee table in front of the couch, all surfaces needed dusting, dishes needed to be done, groceries to be put away. The list of things was never ending. Leslie was having difficulty with her living room for one major reason. Her television sat close to her front door; in front of it was her coffee table, and then the couch. And she had her matching ottoman off in the corner, because there was not enough room for everything. Her issue was that she spent very little time watching TV; and what if there was not enough room for everybody to sit after dinner? The TV might be in the way, or one of them could have to sit close to the door, and they might be uncomfortable with that. She could already feel the party was going to be a mess. She should just take that spot herself to circumnavigate any other disaster.

Leslie shook herself out of her ceaseless train of thought and switched on her ambient sound generator sitting on the bar that bordered the kitchen. She preferred to have some sort of noise while she was home, and music and TV were both too distracting. Would they think her sound generator was weird or uncomfortable without any other noise? Maybe she should play music for them. Her favourite soundscape came on and played sounds of ocean waves and a crackling fire. Tones like those swept her away into a peaceful future, lacking the constant stress and demand for work. She could float away for a moment or two. Maybe one day she could let go of it all. It could be her and Leopold sharing in the beauty as lifetime friends. Jeremy and Madison could come too if they wanted. She was sure that they would find a way to be content. Her cell phone suddenly blared its ringer. Leslie jumped right out of her daydream. She leapt back to the dining room table and scrambled for her phone. It rested between her ear and her shoulder as she hauled bags of groceries to the kitchen counter.

“Hi mom,” she said in her cheery voice, excited to talk. Conversation usually kept her worries at bay. She unpacked the bags and searched for the ingredients’ rightful places.

“Good afternoon, darling. How are you?” her mother responded with a warm and firm tone.

“Good! Just got back from the store with some food. I’m having a little get-together tonight, so I wanted to make a good meal for everyone. What do you need?” She asked, ready to help.

Mrs. Goodchild disregarded Leslie’s question by refusing to acknowledge it. A trace of grief was left in her tone, as she responded to her daughter.

“Oh, a get-together, huh?” she asked with hesitation, “That sounds like fun. What is the occasion?”

“It’s for work.”

“Oh. Well, good for you, sweetie. I’m sure Dr. Looney will be as big of a fan of your cooking as your father and I,” she said. Leslie pulled out the eggplants that she bought and set them off to the side on the counter.

“Aww, thanks mom. I’m glad you and dad liked it all so much. Thankfully the internet was passionate about making tutorials for so many dishes. It was a convenient hobby to have to hold down the fort for you two!”

The line went quiet and Leslie was perplexed. Her mother took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

“Yeah, Leslie, speaking of that…” 

“Yes?”

“Well, since you mentioned it… I’ve been thinking a lot about the way your father and I have been for a while. Our financial situation. And I wanted— uh, is now an okay time to talk, by the way?” 

“Yeah! Everything’s fine! I’m just cooking and cleaning, getting things ready for everyone later. I could use a bit of time away from the demands of science. What’s up?”

“I wanted to call and say that I’m sorry that we're still relying on you. I was thinking about how we still depend on you for things now, even though you moved out years ago. We shouldn’t have had to rely on you when you were just a little girl either, but we did. And I want to change that now. You were always a huge help to us both, and we we’re grateful for you stepping up, and being responsible and such a good sport. We still are! I’m just sorry that nothing has really changed, even though I said it would. I thought of something that I hope will make it up to you?” she said with uncertainty.

“I know that you’re sorry, mom, don’t worry. We’ve already talked it over before! It’s really okay, though. It was tough, and maybe I could have been doing other things in my spare time as a kid, but it was useful to me! Cooking and working aren’t such bad things. I like them enough to throw a party for my coworkers! And my house is always really clean because that’s what I did back home. It worked out for everyone!”

Milk in the fridge. Sauce in the fridge. Noodles go… they could go next to the eggplants.

Her mother sighed, and there was a moment of silence on the line.

“I understand, but. I just meant to call and say that it wasn’t fair for you. And maybe you can pursue some of the things you missed out on, now that you’re older and have the time,” she suggested, “My idea, if you wanted, is that you could move back to our house for a while to relax and not stress so much. We still have your room ready, and you wouldn’t be paying for rent in two different places, anymore…”

“It would be easier, but I do really like being out here, mom! I’m close to work and there’s more happening in the city. I’m happy to help you out!”

Bags get folded and placed in the cabinet furtherest from the dining room.

“Okay,” Mrs. Goodchild whispered, “Is there anything that dad or I could do for you?”

“No, I don’t think so!” Leslie said, absent-mindedly, “Is there anything I can do for you guys?”

“No, honey, thank you. You’ve done plenty for us.”

“Did you guys get my money transfer yet?” Leslie moved the conversation onward. She heard her mother shuffle some papers around and exhale.

“Yes, it’s right here. It’s a lot. You’re sure you won’t need at least some of this? It’s more than just the rent.”

“No, I’ll be fine! You guys need to fix one of the cars, right? You can put the rest towards that!”

“Your dad and I can handle those payments ourselves, Leslie.”

“Well, now you can handle them better! You’ll pay off the services faster.”

“Thank you, hun, that’s very sweet of you.”

“How has dad been?”

“Oh, you know your father. Still driving trucks for long hours. We’re hoping he gets a promotion soon, but… we’re not too sure. Time will tell, I suppose.”

“And you?” Leslie prodded.

“The restaurant hasn’t been getting as many customers as it did when we opened last year. I’ve been thinking about making a change, if things don’t look up soon.”

Leslie found the ground beef sitting out on the counter, and stuffed it in her fridge before she forgot again. She couldn’t remember how it got there.

“I’m sorry to hear that, mom. I hope things look up soon.”

“I hope so, too,” she said quietly.

“Maybe, to take your minds off of it, you can both make a trip out here and we’ll all spend the day together!” Leslie suggested with enthusiasm.

“That would be wonderful. Your father would be excited to do that.”

“Good! We should plan that soon!”

“Yes, we should. In the meantime though, I’ve got to start getting ready for work, okay?”

“Okay!”

“It was nice to hear your voice again, honey. Have fun with dinner and everyone tonight, and be sure to say hi and thank you again to Dr. Looney for all of his help.”

“I will! I always do,” she said with a sunny smile, “It was nice to talk to you too, mom. Have a good day at work, and I can’t wait to see you two again. Don’t worry too much about me!”

Mrs. Goodchild let out a breathy laugh.

“I’ll do my best, sweetheart. Don’t work too hard.”

“Impossible!” Leslie joked.

“Talk soon, darling. I love you.”

“I love you too! Bye-bye!”

Click.

Leslie leaned against the counter with a smile. She loved hearing from her parents. Especially her mom because she was always looking out for her. It was probably where Leslie got her consistently concerned disposition, too. Although, her mother is concerned with a serious undertone. The cheeriness likely came from her father, ultimately to form Leslie’s core expressions. Cheerful, concerned and eager to help. She chuckled as she thought about what an odd combination of traits that was to exhibit in someone. She wondered if anybody was ever perplexed at her demeanour. It wouldn’t surprise her. Leslie’s smile faded away as she kept her mother in her thoughts. It was flattering to be so concerned with Leslie’s wellness, but sometimes, she wished that her mom could relax about it. The hardest part for her was that she could do nothing to change her mother.

Leslie put her thoughts to rest again and distracted herself with the housework. If the house-party was going to be a success, she would have to hurry. The seating arrangement problem had been solved, but everything still needed to be dusted, and all clutter had to be organised and tidied. Disinfecting all surfaces would be a plus, although her time could run out before that happened. She scurried down the one hallway in her apartment that led past her bathroom, bedroom, and finally terminated at a small storage closet housing her cleaning supplies. Quickly, she delved into the tiny room dragging out a vacuum, a duster, and a spray bottle of disinfectant. The vacuum slipped away from her and swung the floor in her haste. Before she bent to pick it back up, a peculiar colour caught her eye. Something orange stuck to the door facing the inside of the closet. A post-it note. Leslie furrowed her brow and slowly picked it off the door.

“Relax and slow down. Try classical. Remember to have fun!”

The handwriting was awfully… chicken-scratchy. She wondered how long it had been in there. Maybe she’d been a little too focused on work and her parents lately to remember. Her apartment did need a decent cleaning up, so it could have been there for quite some time. There was certainly something vaguely familiar. Was it the colour? Or the placement? An involuntary sigh sheepishly escaped from her mouth. She should be able to keep track of her own house, she’s an adult. She escorted the note down the hall and into her room, which also needed cleaning. Maybe she’d just close the door before they arrived. If she ran short on time, of course. Leslie precariously hid the note away in her nightstand drawer and returned to her storage closet mess with a foggy mind.

“Classical what?” she asked aloud and glanced back to her bedroom door, as if there would be a response. She shrugged and dragged her cleaning supplies to the living room. The most efficient order of tasks would be… clutter, clean the surfaces, dirty dishes, vacuum, then cooking. And closing her bedroom door. Cooking was the most important, because it is not a dinner party without dinner. Her computer and notes needed to be easily accessible, too. It wasn’t a research dinner party without the research.

The top priority was supposed to be work, after all. Briefing Leopold on the progress that she and Jeremy made that morning. She wondered if Jeremy felt comfortable coming to her house. Partly because of the end of their last personal conversation, and partly because he seemed slightly uncomfortable with everything in general. She chuckled to herself. Hopefully everything would go well. Leslie resolved to simply make the most of the night to the best of her ability. Cooking, cleaning, research, activities, whatever got done would get done.

As long as the four of them were happy, she could consider the party a good one.

[03–26–2018; 18:12_Research_Video_Log_002_START]

“Doo doo-doo doo-dooooooo,” Madison sang and pranced behind Jeremy on the way to their car. Their apartment complex’s parking lot was decently packed, and the sky was a deep blue. The sun would be setting in about thirty minutes. Jeremy looked back at her.

“What are you doing?”

“I feel like you guys should be taking advantage of this camcorder by doing more science vlogs.”

“They’re research video logs,” he said.

“Yeah, same thing, nerd. You guys could be on YouTube!”

“Madison, we’re a theoretical physics laboratory, not a make-up tutorial channel.”

Her jaw dropped in surprise, she averted her eyes and her cheeks warmed up. “How did you know I watched those…” she asked quietly.

“I didn’t, it was just an example,” he said and shrugged as he climbed into the driver seat of their car.

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair!” Madison exclaimed, following his motions into the passenger side.

“You brought it on yourself.”

“And you brought this on yourself,” she laughed and zoomed the camera up on Jeremy’s face so that it covered the whole viewing window.”

“Please don’t do that.”

“Sorry, I can’t control it.”

“Yes, you can,” he replied tiredly as he started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot, “You do know that you’re wasting a lot of memory, right?”

“That’s what happens when you make a time travel documentary, Jeremy!”

“It’s not a time travel documentary. It’s supposed to be for recording our experiments and results.”

“A documentary is way cooler, though.”

“Okay, just… if you transfer that footage to your computer fast enough that running out of memory won’t be a problem in the lab, then you can make your time travel documentary.”

“YES,” she yelled, “You mean our documentary.

Jeremy sighed and groaned while coming to the first red light of the drive. “If I say yes, will you please just stop.”

“Okay, alright, fine, sorry,” she mocked, “…Can I interview you for the documentary?”

“I don’t promise accurate answers to ridiculous questions.”

Green light.

“So, mister, doctor Jeremy—”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“––what is your favourite thing about your amazing, one-of-a-kind sister?”

“How much she talks.”

“Really?!” she said with a laugh.

“No.”

“Oh,” she dismissed, “That’s lame!”

Jeremy kept his eyes on the road.

“Okay, how about this. What do you think Leslie is going to make for dinner?”

Jeremy furrowed his brow while he was thinking.

“Huh. I don’t know… maybe a family kind of dinner.”

“What? What even is that?” Madison asked.

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. Something families eat.”

“Wow, what an oddly vague and cryptic answer! As if family dinner food is somehow fundamentally different from everyone else's!”

“Whatever, Madison. I’m driving."

“Thank you for being here today mister, professor Jeremy—”

“Also not a professor.”

“—do you have any final words for the audience?”

“Not particularly,” he said.

“A man of few words, but eloquent, nonetheless.”

“Hey, look at the directions and tell me if that’s her apartment building,” Jeremy instructed, “I think it might be, but I want to be sure.”

“Oh, okay sure,” Madison said, as she distractedly pointed the view of the camera towards her lap to look at her phone.

[03–26–2018; 18:24_Research_Video_Log_002_END]

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Wok of Love becomes even more inexplicable: I came across a bunch of clips and apparently they reshot massive portions of the entire first episode. Why? I don’t think the bizarre style was an addition (theoretically it’s the whole conceit of the show, right? disparate elements which come together in one dish?) and the scenes look shot-for-shot the same.

The only noticeable departure I can detect is how JH is styled, which was changed from quite good hair to very, very bad hair and from dashing colourful shirts with open collars and silk scarves to buttoned up white or black shirts. Also he loses his sexy overcoat and rarely wears a suit jacket in the final version. The lighting might also be different, though maybe it just seems better in the behind the scenes clips. The actual show has terrible lighting where everyone looks completely washed out all the time.

Original shooting:

final series:

(I apologise for the quality but I can’t be bothered to get good screenshots and in all fairness this is pretty indicative of how bad the show genuinely looks)

So, of course, the silly part of my brain immediately asks: ‘did they reshoot this to make him less hot?’ Without a terrible hairdo to hold him back, he was too perfect? (I mean, Chil Sung is still absurdly perfect; he is the only example I’ve ever actually seen of what people always say second leads are- this superhuman prince among men, wonderful and capable in every way, who it makes no sense whatsoever the heroine doesn’t date instead of the whiny prick hero. And it’s not just that he’s an obviously superior choice of boyfriend, he’s also mysterious and a far more active character than the lead, which prevents his relentless goodness from making him bland. Up to when I stopped watching it, they never explained how he went from being a successful gangster to being so selfless and sweet or if he was always some kind of ethical thug or what his deal is. The contrast between his adorable steadfast moral uprightness and him being a gangster is what makes him interesting, but having zero explanation for it is a problem. He is not exactly believable. Although, he’s so likeable and entertaining that it doesn’t entirely matter that he’s too perfect. Especially when he’s the only main character who is likeable or entertaining.)

I really don’t... understand... this show. What was it trying to accomplish? Why is the protagonist so hard to root for? His situation should be very sympathetic, but he’s such a dickhead about everything and he’s such a weak character. He only ever stands up to the wrong people and treats everyone around him like dirt under his feet. I just can’t feel for him. He has no chemistry with the female lead and I don’t understand why she likes him when he’s ceaselessly unpleasant to be around without any kind of intrigue or charisma or depth to make it worth looking past that surface. Not that she’s any prize either, because she’s mostly a non-entity with a streak of massive entitlement and what I think is supposed to be quirky confidence, but which comes off as childish self-absorption. I didn’t dislike her right away, the annoyance just builds as she’s so callous and demanding and up her own bum.

Honestly both the hero and the heroine had way more chemistry with Chil Sung than they did with each other despite them both constantly treating him poorly. The only thing that kind of worked as intended was the bromance the guys develop. Though I don’t see why Chil Sung would like Captain Whiny, either, apart from him just being a candidate for sainthood who wants to look after every pitiful doofus who enters his orbit. He rescues everyone like 3438749 times, physically financially and emotionally, and they are all profoundly ungrateful. Seriously, why is he so perfect and why is everyone else such an asshole? What is this writing?

Not even getting into how it’s shot like a beige-washed fever dream and the plot was almost impossible to follow until it settled down. If there's such a thing as televisual gibberish, it was that. The writing is so disorganised and the direction is so poor that the first few episodes are genuinely incomprehensible. The editing can only be described as disjointed and bizarre. It’s definitely trying to do something but it’s not succeeding at whatever that is. It doesn’t look good and it’s not charming. The direction is bad, the lighting is bad, the high concept stuff is incoherent, if it’s doing a weird soap opera filter look on purpose, it’s not pulling it off.... By far the most enjoyable and best-executed thing it has going for it are its action scenes, and I have to say, that’s a pretty scathing indictment considering this is supposed to be a romcom. If I, ME: ‘give me romance or give me death’ girl over here, am only in it for the action scenes, things have gone terribly awry.

...

All right, so while this ramble of thoughts sat in my drafts forever, I happened across some additional info. Apparently they reshot the first episode because the script writer wanted JH to ‘play himself’ more, aka have more of his sort of adorkable sincerity and boyish sense of humour like how he comes off on variety shows rather than give a character performance based on the script. Really??? Why?

At least all the promo images (in which he looks hot) suddenly make sense because that was his style in the original version. So they redesigned his look (my brain: to make him less hot???) and they wanted him to be more cute and charming (was he playing it ‘realistically’ before? like as in ‘darker’? more straight? cooler?) but all this was in aid of... what exactly? They do very briefly accomplish the nigh-impossible task of almost making me consider that the obvious couple isn't really the obvious couple and maybe the other guy would get the girl. But it was only almost, a fleeting doubt, and then they walk back from having a ‘real’ love triangle where she’s genuinely uncertain about how she feels pretty much instantly.

(And this would be fine if the main ship had worked. There’s only two kinds of love triangle I can tolerate: the Sabrina love triangle where it’s a reversal of expectations from what your protagonist thought they wanted in their crush to their real love or the Doomed Faithful Suitor type where we were never in any suspense that the other dude stood a chance should she be asked to pick. It’s basically practicality vs romanticism where romanticism is obviously going to win (because comedy). Fated to Love You has this, for example. Mi Young is never attracted to Daniel, they're both perfectly aware she’s in love with Gun, but he trails after her devotedly anyway just in case he can be her consolation prize. Kdrama romcoms seem to almost exclusively do the Doomed Faithful Suitor love triangle and that’s what Wok of Love does with Chil Sung. But like, why? Why take your best character and your best actor and cast him in this thankless, stagnant role? Sure, you gave me my only Second Lead Syndrome ever, but in aid of what? I already can’t get on board with your actual ship, why go out of your way to make it even less appealing?

Is the point of this to make Poong some sexy alpha bad boy to Chil Sung's friendzoned cutie pie? As apparently this writer likes that kind of asshole leading man according to some comments I've read? Because if so: a) lol b) Poong is just angry, petty, and condescending not a bad boy, he's pathetic c) why is Chil Sung a gangster then? Is it a hilarious joke? Is that the point? Their personalities are the exact opposite of what you'd expect, so it's part of the weird cooking metaphor? They wanted to cast against type on purpose to subvert the audience's expectations? If that was the intent the director should have made that clear to the actors before they started production and also the guy playing Poong is so not up to the job.)

I just. What is this show? Why are Chil Sung’s mother and Sae Woo’s mother both played by Lee Mi Sook when they’re not related and not supposed to be connected? Like, is there meant to be a mirroring between them? Because it’s super distracting and the contrast isn’t especially relevant to anything. If you’re going to do doubling like that, make something of it, it shouldn’t just sit there. This is just confusing to the audience. The whole show is full of so many things that are just confusing to the audience for no pay off (the talking horse who was dropped fairly quickly comes to mind).

It’s ‘why?’ all the way down. They thought they were doing something, but what?

[themenof--riverdale]

A Step in the Right Direction

​Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Request: @writerbugg -I was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is new to Riverdale and doesn't speak a lot and everyone thinks she's really shy but really she just doesn't like to speak because she has a really bad stutter and Cheryl bullies her for it but the gang takes her in and makes her feel comfortable and less insecure about her stutter and JugXReader becomes couple and fluff and all that jazz :)

Warnings: fluff, cussing

A/N: This was a really great idea and I enjoyed writing this story :). Let me know if you have any other ideas like this (could be any pairing). <3

----

Another town, another school, another neighborhood, another opportunity to be "the new one". Yup, living with parents that can literally work anywhere, had its down sides.

Their latest triumph? Moving to a small suburb called Riverdale. Sure, the name was nice and the pictures were amazing and it all seemed well, but doesn't everywhere?

The second we crossed the border into this quaint little town, I tried to convince myself that things would be better this time. Maybe I'd make friends easily and maybe I'll just automatically be normal around them and maybe, just maybe, my stutter wouldn't act up and be the bitch that it is.Here's to hoping.

--

The moment I stepped onto the pavement at the entrance of Riverdale High, I sighed. Honestly, I wanted to be optimistic and I really tried, but these little bubble of anxiety kept creeping up and surprising me. At the front of the school, I noticed a well-built Redheaded boy chatting and smiling along with a slightly shorter pitch black-haired boy wearing a grey and frayed beanie. They both glanced over at me as I passed by and cut their conversation suddenly when I came too close. Whoops, my bad for interrupting your conversation with my strange presence.

The hallway was packed, like a goddamn party, and I almost couldn't catch my breath. Despite all the noise and gossip, that didn't stop every single student from looking in my direction and sparing a second of their time to give me the up-down.

Once that was over, my legs finally started to act normal and I raced off in the direction of the school Office.

--

Armed with a map of the school and a class schedule, I headed to my first class.No doubt I would have to interrupt an already-started class and introduce myself. Otherwise known as The First Public Challenge. 

Every time I have to do this in a new school, I always wonder if I should just do prints of my Facebook account as a self-summary instead of actually talking to anyone. Y'know, kind of how everyone communicates anyway.

When the teacher noticed me standing awkwardly in the doorway, he ushered me over and told me to introduce myself before I take the only empty seat at the back of the classroom.I turned towards the class, squared my shoulders, and breathed deeply through my nose.

"H-hi, everyone. I'm Y/N Y/L/N, and I'm n-new to this s-sch-school," I mustered.I was very aware of all the comical glances and stares I was getting. The girls especially seemed to be relieved that I was someone they could easily make fun of.

"God, are you o-oh-okay?" one of the smirking girls asked, easily mimicking me. Her hair was a flaming, intimidating red and I couldn't help but admire its rich natural colour. The class caught on and played the part of her audience, chuckling to support her subtle cruelty.

I took a quick glance at the teacher and made a beeline for my seat at the back. Once safely tucked away in the confines of my seat, I took out a notebook and began to distract myself from the others' mischievous glances and snickers.

A boy to my right, the same one with the beanie, met my eyes and offered a smirk of his own, but it wasn't a cruel one; it was one of those that said "*shrug* what are you gonna do? They're assholes."That made me feel a bit reassured that everyone in this school wasn't going to try and slaughter me on my first day.

Once lunch rolled around, it was clear that my stutter and my being new to everything was the most enjoyable part of the day for most people. I couldn't move from one class to another without someone mimicking me.I didn't even go to the cafeteria because I knew that would make things a whole lot worse. 

Instead, I took my bag to the football field bleachers and took a seat in the shadows.

"Spot's already taken, y'know," a deep voice spoke out.I turned quickly in the direction of the voice and exhaled when I realized it was the guy with the beanie.

 "S-sorry, I-."He held up a hand to stop me.

"You wanna join me and my friends for lunch? It'll beat staying out here all alone."

I didn't respond right away; this had never happened before. I was not prepared for this kind of change of fate. Slowly, I nodded and took up my bag.He led me over to a table with the redheaded kid, a blonde girl, a raven-haired girl and a chestnut-coloured hair boy. 

They all looked at me with welcoming eyes and the beanie boy made room for the both of us.They each introduced themselves and I finally found out his name: Jughead Jones.

From that day, I became one of them and I didn't have to worry about being judged; they just liked me for me.

--

Weeks have passed and the school is a lot more familiar and comfortable to me. I was even beginning to love it. The other students didn't find anything new about me to make fun of, so even the stuttering jokes dissipated.

Jughead and I had a lot of classes together every day and instead of sitting with Archie, he would come and sit next to me. Even in Chemistry, he offered to be my partner right away and Archie didn't complain. 'm not blind; I saw the mischievous glances that Archie threw at Jughead throughout the day, like he knew some big secret about him.

It was only after a few weeks when I began to notice the changes. Sure, Jughead was my partner for a lot of classes, but he physically moved closer to me; our knees knocked very often and there were even times when our legs just touch and neither of us moves away.

From the get-go I felt an attraction to him, but I didn't dare dream that he felt the same.

It was only when the school dance rolled around and the second it was announced at the end of the day, he ran through the halls to find me outside, amidst the crowd of exhausted students.He stopped me in my tracks and a lot of other people stopped too, curious about what the big deal was. 

He placed his hands on my shoulders and was panting slightly.After a short while, his breathing returned to normal and he looked me right in the eyes and asked, "Y/N, will you be my awesome date to this not-as-awesome dance?"

People started snickering, but I tuned them all out. 

"S-sure," I answered, grinning widely.He pulled me to him and embraced me tightly. I didn't want to let go.

He pulled away first and grasped my hand in his. It was clear to everyone: I was Jughead Jones' girl.

Step aside, bitches.