the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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i need to talk about how much i love the pjo show's way of introducing annabeth's character's backstory, specifically through her getting used to percy's chronic loyalty
the way she attacks him with a hug both times she thought he might've been gone forever??? (the arch and after he returns to chb) this girl who doesn't hold her breath over people staying around for her, who is so so relieved everytime percy comes back to her
the way she is absolutely appalled by percy's insisent reassurance. his "i'm perfectly comfortable with that, people make mistakes" his "people who love you shouldn't treat you like that" his "you are better at this than me, you just are" this is just percy being percy, always seeing the best in people, and never once treating her like she has to prove anything to him to be treated with care
and she's so caught off guard every time!! she tells grover to tell percy to pull himself together. she tells him "i guess so" when he asks if he has to earn it with her too. she is IMMEDIATELY at a loss for words when percy tells her that she's the one meant for the quest. that she's better at this. that he's not trying to sacrifice himself for his own glory, it has nothing to do with him, he's only thinking of her
and that's so new to annabeth!! someone who isn't trying to make her prove anything! someone who from the beginning saw her worth! not someone like her mother, who would see her die because she felt embarassed by her. not someone like her father, who loved her at first and because of someone else, began to not(or at least she thought so). not like Thalia, who made her prove herself, who for all valiance, still died, still left her. not like Luke, who promised family, and then betrayed her.
she's not used to someone who stays just for her
or in her own words,
"He's not like that, he's better than that"
i love annabeth chase
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some specific verbage i always stumble over other people using is when i get referred to as 'the _____ guy'. like 'the pokemon guy' 'the comics guy' 'the furry art guy'. not because any of these are untrue i guess, i do love all these things - only that im not THE anything. theres a whole lot of pokemon fans and furry artists and comics artists that are dedicated and talented and wonderful people, so being known as the go to for any of those is like... hold on hold on. i know seven other variants of 'the guy' youre talking about, im really not unique in any sort of way. we're all working together in these communities so id never want any to be attributed to me specifically. especially because my knowledge is only limited to what one person knows at 25...!
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