#didn't even re read this i am just going insane with how much i love him

[tsui-no-sora]

You mean to tell me that Dream has known some of his friends for literally over a decade and some of them finally saw him for the first time just a less than 24 hours ago and he's now gone from being in basically isolation for three years to now living with his best friends and that's just gonna be their life now

He finally got to see them and they got to see him and they all were so excited and nervous and all smiles and double and triple takes

And he's basically gonna see them in less than a week in San Diego and now he's gonna pass from being completely faceless to doing some panels with his best friends talking about things he really loves in front of crowds of people who just love him and admire him

You mean to tell me that after all this time the whole world is gonna see him and he's gonna get approached by fans and he's gonna give them little trinkets to make it special and take pictures with them

That now the whole world is gonna see his face and we are finally gonna be able to put a face to the content creator that has inspired so many people from really young kids who gossip about him and his best friends during recess to countless people here and elsewhere in the world to make so much art and to create so much

To the person who has helped so many people push through hardships and not feel so alone

To Dream

That's insane dude oh my god I'm so glad I'm here for it it's gonna be amazing

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: thor au, mingyu has superhuman strength (he's literally a god so), mingyu's kinda a dick, re-imagined plot of the first thor movie for fanfic purposes, mentions of movie characters, afab reader, smut, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2203

a/n: thor was my favorite marvel movie growing up so i loved doing this!!! tysm to the person who requested this and im soooo sorry it took me so long T-T also i havent watched the movies in forever so im so sorry for inaccuracies </3

masterlist

mingyu wasnt too sure where he was.

just moments ago he had been fighting with his younger brother, loki, scolding him over yet another mischievous act, but now he was in the middle of nowhere. well, at least that was going off of his surroundings. in the distance, he could see various signs detailing the foreign words 'new mexico'.

he had just been wandering aimlessly around the desert, not paying too much attention to his surroundings as he tried to make sense of where he was. that was until his entire body was pushed forward by a massive object, making him lose most of his ability to process what just had happened. he was only slightly lucid as he laid limp on the ground, barely processing the girl looking down on him, completely freaked out at having just ran over a man in the middle of nowhere. without putting much of a fight, he allowed you and your friend to struggle your way as you dragged him into the back of your van, probably not wanting to leave any evidence that you'd almost committed homicide.

unfortunately for you both, he passed out quickly after that, not allowing you to confirm any information about him, nor giving you a chance to stumble your way through an apology for almost killing him.

seeing as you almost cost him his life, you decided to bring him to your laboratory, where you would let him rest until he was conscious enough for you to find a way to make it up to him. your friend darcy left you on your own, claiming it wasn't much of her problem since you had been the one driving when you crashed into him.

as you waited for him to wake up, you wondered how and why he had survived your van crashing into him. i mean, he didn't sustain any injuries, simply passing out from the impact. he had even left damage on the van itself upon the crash. looking at him, you realized he was very fit, with muscles bulging from the strange armor he had on. you hadn't questioned any of this until now, being mostly freaked out by almost killing him, but it was all now making you wonder the logistics of the situation.

you didn't have too much time to think, as he began to stir, groaning a bit before actually waking up. he jumped in place upon realizing he was in unfamiliar surroundings, staring at you with wide eyes as he backed away a bit.

"hey-"

"you! who are you? where am i?"

"listen, you might be a bit disoriented after the accident, you're in-"

"new mexico? right? i saw a sign earlier today."

"yeah, it's-"

"okay, but where is new mexico? i need to get back to asgard. how can i manage that?"

"asgard? listen, you must be going through a psychic episode, just let me-"

"stay away! i demand you tell me where i am!"

jesus christ, this man was stubborn. not once sentence could leave your lips before he was making demands. he didn't even give you a chance to apologize either. you weren't sure what he meant by his blabbering, which was still going on by now. asgard? was he hallucinating about norse mythology? had you rendered this man insane?

"we're in new mexico! right by texas? are you okay? you seem kind of disoriented. i'm so sorry about what happened, i-"

"my armor! you damaged it with your machine!", he finally looked down at the scratches and missing bits of his armor, eyes widening once more.

he got up from his spot, marching around your laboratory and grabbing at things with curiosity. he eventually came across your globe, reading out the label before gasping loudly.

"earth?! loki told me of this place. that means you're a human," he was mostly speaking to himself before turning to finally direct himself at you, "human. i am mingyu, the god of thunder. you must help me get back to asgard. can you do that?"

you were speechless throughout his entire ransacking of your lab, but even more so now. was this an insane man you were with in the middle of the desert? you had brought him to your secluded lab out of remorse for what you'd done, but now you were alone in the middle of the night with a maniac. a very strong one at that.

"don't look at me like that," he interrupted your thoughts, "i know im not the god your people typically serve, but i still demand your help. you did hit me, after all."

that broke you out of your spell, your niceness peaking out again, "i'm sorry! i-"

"great! so now you're indebted to me," he clapped his hands together, "how shall we begin?"

okay, there was no way you were helping this maniac with his senseless plan, but you needed to think of a sensible way to tell him to fuck off.

"you're mingyu? the god of thunder? why are you reciting norse mythology to me? i cant get you back to asgard. it doesnt exist," okay, not subtle, but it was a start.

"listen, human. your kind would not understand the depth behind my people. you don't believe me? i'll show you."

and with that, he raised his arm, erected and facing to his side as he stared at you directly into your eyes. he stayed like this for a minute before you chose to question him, only to be shushed by him once more, "just give it a minute, human."

it was about three minutes when suddenly a hammer came crashing through the wall, destroying everything in its way in order to arrive to mingyu's hand.

next thing you knew, you were hiding under your table, utterly terrified at whatever the fuck was happening. was he really the mingyu? but those were all a child's tale, were they not? did you truly have a god standing before you, trying to convince you to come out from hiding?

"human, i- im sorry. i shouldve warned you. come out, please? i'll even forgive you for crashing into me. i just need some help," he sounded so defeated, you couldn't help but feel sorry for him, deciding to come out from hiding as long as he put his hammer down, something to which he agreed to with no hesitation.

"o-okay, mingyu. are you- you're real? shit, okay, never mind. you clearly are. but how can i help you? i'm not a god, h-how am i supposed to help you go back home?"

"there's always a way, human. we just need to find an opening. you see ..." he proceeded to explain his entire plan to you, sounding way more intelligent than he had shown himself to be throughout every interaction you'd had with him so far. he was also standing. very. close. it was hard to pay attention when the damage of his suit allowed you such a perfect view at his gigantic muscles. but you needed to focus! you owed it to him to at least try to help him.

the plan had been settled soon after that, agreeing that tomorrow you'd use your 'machine' (re: car) to drive him to a specific spot in which he'd be able to gather enough energy to summon lightning from the sky, which would render him powerful enough to communicate with gandall, who would take him back to asgard. it was too much for the regular person to process, but luckily for him, the person who almost ran him over was a scientist who was very well read on norse mythology.

after that, you had told him he could hit a shower, located in the habitable part of the lab in which you'd stay at sometimes. you let him know you two should also catch some sleep before tomorrow. you offered up your bed, claiming you'd take the couch since you'd caused him all this trouble anyway. he agreed with no argument, making you frown a little at his lack of gallantry.

he came out of the shower soon after, all while you sat on the couch occupied by a book. you heard his arrival, but didn't pay him much mind until doing a double take on him, realizing he was stark naked, with every glorious inch of skin in full display.

"jesus christ! what the hell are you doing?!", you covered your face with your book, extremely flustered at the sight. how was he so bi-

"what? is there no nudity on earth?", he sat on the couch, way too close to you.

"yes! but not like this! you're supposed to warn me beforehand. i-"

"why won't you look at me, human? uncover your face at once."

you weren't sure why, but you followed his direction, removing the book from your face but keeping your eyes closed.

"eyes open too."

you opened them, looking up as to avoid staring at his nether area. although you weren't looking at him, you could tell he had moved to sit even closer, making you anxious about what he'd do next.

"look at me."

you looked down to find him staring directly at you, face at only a few inches from yours. you couldn't help it when your eyes lowered to his lips, noticing him mirror your actions.

"this?" he whispered, "this is what you want?"

it was an ominous and unclear statement, but you still found yourself nodding, too full of a sudden surge of lust to think properly.

he attacked you with his lips, using full force immediately upon kissing you. he was very intense with his movements, almost immediately pinning you down on the couch, an easy feat for a god with his superhuman strength.

you couldn't help how wet you grew almost immediately, having taken a peak at his massive length when he had first approached you on the couch. was he going to put that in you? you were kinda terrified, but also giddy to feel the insane stretch he was about to give you.

you kept keening against him, softly moaning into his lips as he ground his hips against your own, making him groan in return.

"gods, human. you're so fragile ... so delicate. i'm gonna- gonna break you," it sounded like dirty talk, but there was some genuine concert laced in his tone.

"do it! please ... please fuck me," all dignity had left you the moment you saw him in all his naked glory, so any begging was fair game to you by now.

he chuckled, "yeah? pretty princess wants me to fuck her? think you can take it?", he was quite literally dangling his dick in front of your eyes, hands ripping your shorts out of the way as you gasped at the act.

"sorry, princess," he coo'd condescendingly, "they were getting in my way."

he didnt bother to check whether you were wet enough or not before plunging into you, but you had fortunately been dripping for him by then. still, his massive size had you writhing under him, screaming his name to anyone who could hear you from your secluded location.

"oh? now you pray my name? fuck, beautiful human. didn't know humans could be so pretty ..." he was growing delirious at the tightness of your cunt, combined with your much smaller frame. all women in asgard were as big and built as him. this was his first time experiencing anything like this, and it had him rethinking his return to asgard.

'g-gyu ... shit. i'm gonna cum, please!'

he folded you like a pretzel, not caring to conceal his inhuman strength as he pounded madly into you, feeding off your gasps and squeals. you were making him see valhalla.

"pretty princess ... cum for me. let me have yours and i'll give you mine- shit! gonna breed you. gonna come back here and take care of you every time im lonely. g-gonna keep you all to myself. my pretty secret on earth."

the idea of mingyu popping by to fuck you whenever the literal heaven that was asgard became too boring for him had you keening, now grateful you had ran him over as your orgasm attacked you unexpectedly.

you had never felt such a high, almost feeling like you had astral-projected into heaven. mingyu seemed to be in a similar situation, groaning against your mouth as he filled you up with his endless seed. seemed like he was well-endowed in all areas, being a god and all.

"fuck ... thank you for that, human," he thanked you as he got up, at least having the courtesy of helping you clean up, "now i feel kinda bad about leaving."

"then dont," you werent sure why you said that. maybe the high of your orgasm.

"yeah?", he smirked, nearing you once again, "convince me," you noticed his hardness was already back, at a literally inhuman speed.

you weren't sure how you were meant to take him again with no rest in between, but you were willing to take the challenge. you'd worry about how to get the god back to his home tomorrow. for now, you were going to enjoy him while you had him.

a/n: before anyone comes for me, I KNOW this isnt very inaccurate for thor (ive watched the movies too many times) but i wanted to write a short smutty blurb and not go off with too many words so this is what we ended up with

[sugarcoatedcherry]

void state progress and success!!!

I'm updating every day privately (now public) hehe

(scroll down and read pink highlighted paragraph for success story I had started attempting void much earlier than this)

day 1: tried but eventually fell asleep

day 2. did an extensive reasearch, like all day, read ton of success stories, got insane inspiration. believed void was real and manifestations are instant. I tried and got into hypnagogic state. but fell asleep

day 3: re read all the success stories again and again whole day and became more confident, I made mental notes on common symptoms I'd have, affirmed little. all night I played subliminals, binaural beats etc but got tired and fell asleep

day 4: still motivated, angry but persisting, I am affirming, made more mental notes on how I should go about void, did more reasearch on Hinduism interpretation on void, read about void on reddit, YouTube, explore astral projection and sleep paralysis video's comment section (they had similar symptoms just like void) became even more confident with void, tried methods but eventually i got exhausted and fell asleep

day 5: MADE MY OWN RULES. YES, no notes or anything, it's my way baby, it'll go how I want it to go, when I want it go. no more sending asks to bloggers, no more doubting, no more worrying the process. Just believing it will happen. not worrying about the circumstances. I'm very confident that today IS THE DAY 💅

day 6: I couldn't enter, i slept lmao

day 7: I got to the vibrational stage but my thoughts were distractibg and I slept

day 8: I learnt about sleep paralysis and tried that

day 9: last night didn't work, but I'll persist

day 10: i just slept, void is messing with my sleep schedule

day 11: spend A LOT OF TIME researching about void in Hinduism and got a lot of confidence but didn't enter

day 12: AGAIN SPENT A LOT OF TIME RESEARCHING about void in Hinduism but didn't make it

day 13: I'm getting closer to something very important and I need to enter void on a time crunch. I cried

day 14: everything is exhausting, but I still tried entering void but rolled over anf slept

day 15: i drank coffee to stay awake and I'm doing the meditation sitting up so that I don't roll over and fall asleep

(UGHHHHHHHHHH GOD )

day 16: I found a subliminal that made my body vibrate within first 2 minutes of listening?? and I looped it overnight but fell asleep sometime while listening but I'm still hopeful.

day 17: stupid exams

day 18: studied for my next stupid exams

day 19: I am so tired I didn't attempt I wanted to sleep peacefully

day 20: Literally my entire life is on hold because I am trying to get into void, I do realise this is unhealthy but at the same time I am so much confident that I can do it? I don't know how to explain this confidence but I know I will enter the void.

day 21: more exams and didn't attempt

day 22:

I DID IT GUYS I DID IT OMGGG THIS FEELS SO GOOD OH GOD JDKEODJDJDN I LOVE THIS FOR ME I FEEL UNSTOPPABLE I CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE THIS IS SO BIG TO ME Y'ALL DON'T HAVE A CLUE AHHHHH. I'M GONNA CRY. I HAVE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED JSBSJDKDODKSNSN

quick thanks to all loass bloggers on Tumblr and Sammy Ingram (she shitted about void but it's okay lmao is her limiting belief but I'm thanking her for introducing the law to me) my fav bloggers are @rosellesworkshop @fleurlx @blushydior @stargirl-kira @multiversebaddie @zen-shu @prettymindset111 @luvforend @sa777urn @aphroditeapprenticee @gorgeouslypink @littlemissprettyprincess @sirensplayhouse thanks for answering my asks.

ANDDD all the anons who posted void success stories and thanks to @voidsuccess for compiling them!!! (i used to obsessively surf her blog day and night until day 10 lmaoo)

[genericpuff]

Why is the art so unappealing in lore Olympus now Persephone looks like a highlighter and maybe it’s just me but the proportions like the fingers in arms are soul over the place I don’t think they used to be this bad. Am I just looking at it with nostalgia or am I crazy ?

Honestly, nostalgia does play a huge part in it, even to this day there are times I look back on old S1 panels and go-

Actually here's a great example that literally just happened yesterday in the ULO Discord that nearly had me on the floor LOL This is from Episode 70:

Like I didn't even believe that that was real until I was told what episode it was from and I was just. Astounded and flabbergasted. The over-shading of the blanket that just makes it look like a really bad edit. Insane.

And yeah, there are a lot of old panels that hit different now that the rose-colored glasses have been removed, crushed, and thrown into the trash compactor.

I think that's why it makes it all the more amusing when people come into my inbox and ask me "wait, why did you like LO to begin with?? It's always been ugly as shit, I think you're just romanticizing it" because like... there's something to be said about art and subjectivity, even if something is ugly to one person doesn't mean it isn't beautiful to someone else. It's why I try not to be too mean towards the fans of this comic for still enjoying it, because while I definitely have strong opinions about how "LO has gotten worse" and what kind of following Rachel has cultivated (cough cough), there are also just as equally valid arguments that LO has never begin good to begin with that I can't necessarily disagree with now that I'm looking back on it with a more critical eye.

That said, there's tons of media that I enjoy that is objectively awful. Like y'all, you don't need to take my opinions about a dumb pink x blue fantasy romance comic seriously, I like Starfox Adventures-

Like yeah it's a badly made rushed piece of shit that was developed right on the ass end of Rare's glory days and was really an original IP (Dinosaur Planet) that got Frankenstein'd into a Starfox game so it could "sell better" for Nintendo, but I don't give a fuck, I love Starfox Adventures and some day I wanna be in the top 10 speedrunner leaderboards for it, which I know doesn't mean much because no one is speedrunning Starfox, but I do and no one can take that away from me dammit-

Anyways. Lore Olympus has, in many regards, always had "bad art". But "bad art" can and should still be enjoyed by those who find joy in it.

And in LO's case, the world it existed in when it launched was a lot smaller than it is now - more specifically, the world of Webtoons. We can look back and see how 'bad' LO looks and reads now because there are genuinely way better comics surrounding it. It was unique and refreshing and experimental back then... now it's just "that stupid blue and pink comic for horny teenagers".

In most cases I would consider that "cringing in hindsight" feeling a good thing because normally it means something has grown and that it seeming "bad" in hindsight would mean that it's outgrown itself and moved onto bigger things. But LO has the more unique problem of "its current stuff is shit and it's making us want the old stuff more, even if the old stuff wasn't good either". In that regard, LO is closer to being like Harry Potter. Remember when The Cursed Child came out at the height of Rowling being exposed for being a TERF and even people who liked Harry Potter didn't like The Cursed Child because it was just objectively worse overall (with or without Rowling's bullshit attached)? It made a lot of people go back and re-read / rewatch Harry Potter with a more objective lens and go "wait a minute guys, I think we only adored these books so much because we were 12 when we read them". Often times it's the good memories we have surrounding certain things that make us have the opinion about them that we do.

Of course, LO is definitely not as politically weaponized as Harry Potter is, so that's where that comparison ends. But my point is that LO is definitely in a situation where it's been riding off the same privileges it had back in 2018 - having an 'experimental' art style while also utilizing tropes and characters that were VERY popular at the time (remember that 2017-18 was when Tumblr was at its height of H x P "Hades was a chill accountant guy who wore socks and sandals and didn't cheat on his wife like Zeus did" fantasizing) - and thinks that those same tricks and tropes will still work today.

Because of this, the art in LO really, really hasn't aged well, even the stuff that we look back on fondly. But I think it's the panels that we specifically think of when remembering "old LO" - the ones that stuck in our memories the most - that are the ones that make us miss or just not care about the panels that don't look good (the panels that make people question why we ever liked it to begin with).

We liked it because of how it made us feel to look at panels like these-

Those genuinely wonderful panels that we think back on the most don't exist separately from the bad panels, they exist in spite of them. Even if we can look back on panels like these and pick out problems in the lineart or the proportions or the color travelling outside of the lines, that can't and shouldn't change how those panels made us feel at some point or another. And that's why when people ask me "why were you even into LO in the first place" I don't have any one answer, because I can't fully explain how something made me feel to justify why it's good to someone who can see from the outside - without rose-colored glasses - that it evidently isn't. It's very much a "you had to be there" type of thing.

Unfortunately, nowadays even the 'best' LO panels in S3 still don't come close to what the S1 panels accomplished - because for many of us, the rose-colored glasses are gone, we can't appreciate the good among the bad because we know now how bad it truly is and so the good just feels like wasted attempts at trying to recreate something it can no longer be. It "came back wrong" so to speak.

LO came back just regular. But our journey to resurrecting it changed us to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to us. Sorry dude.

This is still probably one of my favorite panels out of the entirety of S3 for being as close to "old LO" as I've seen since S2, and even it feels like a mistake, an accident, how could a panel like this exist in S3 when so much of it is a dumpster fire? It's like a flower growing in the ruins of an apocalyptic wasteland.

But wasn't that always the case? Isn't that 'always' what LO has been, since the very beginning? A poorly cobbled together mess of writing and panels that, every now and then, manages to leave an impression that makes you feel something? Did we ever truly know LO? Or have we just been relying entirely on an idea of it that we've built up in our heads that when it does do exactly what it's evidently always done (even if not made apparent until looking back on it in hindsight) we think it "came back wrong"?

[pandorasprongs]

INTERLUDE | are we still friends?

'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.2k

SUMMARY: after months of ghosting, reader finally gets to talk to jamie again at the end of her second year.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: so we're going back in time to when reader's in uni and early in jamie's man city career :) hope u all enjoy! (also i know frats aren't a thing in the uk but i didn't find that out till after i published the prologue rip) i'd also suggest listening to 'are we still friends?' by tyler the creator for this chapter too just for the vibes — also!! thank you so much for 200 followers it's insane so many of you enjoy my fics :))

Age 19

"And that's it for this semester! Congrats everyone!" Your professor greets the room as the last person finishes their presentation. The room cheers, — albeit weakly given that most of the students there were coming down from their finals week caffeine addiction, — and everyone soon starts filing out.

You pass by your professor on the way out with Liv and hand her the trinket that the two of you planned on giving out to all of the professors you've had this semester. Some out of gratitude, some to make them feel guilty for the low marks they've given. This certain professor, a lady in her mid-40s who has been in the STEM area of research for years, had designated the two of you her favorites.

"Thank you so much, ladies. It was such a pleasure having the two of you in my class." You both give her a warm smile before heading into the hall. 

When you make it outside of the building, Liv lets out a cathartic scream of relief. "It's finally done!" You laugh at your friend's reaction. You were glad too, but not enough to yell in public.

As you headed back to your student hall, you pulled out your phone. It had become routine to message Jamie every time you were heading back to Manchester, which you were the next week when your parents picked you up.

Hey Jamie! How've you been? How's Man City? Saw the match with Cardiff, you did great.

You press send before adding on, If you're still here, maybe you want to meet up before you go back? I'm heading back to Manchester next week too if you want to meet up then instead. 

You send that too and type out I miss you, but after glancing at the rest of your unread messages, you delete it and sigh in defeat.

You don't even know why you're still trying. You haven't spoken to Jamie in months. No, it's almost been a year. The last time you did was when you went home for the summer holiday after your first year of uni, but even then, Jamie seemed distant and cold. He left the lunch early too after he got a call from his manager, much to your dismay. Even before that, his messages to you were getting less and less frequent till he finally stopped replying a few months into your second year.

Maybe it stung more knowing it was around the time you left that you realized how really felt about him. It wasn't just platonic love anymore; you might've actually been in love with your best friend then. But those feelings have since disappeared, at the same rate that Jamie disappeared from your life.

So now you were in a pub, supposedly celebrating the end of your second year in uni, but you couldn't stop staring at your phone, waiting for a reply. You've been re-reading your message to him and staring at that delivered in the corner until you finally broke out of the trance thanks to one of your friends calling out to you.

"Oi! You're not even tipsy. Are you playing or not?" Tina asks and you shut your phone before shifting your focus to the conversation. Right, you're playing Never Have I Ever.

"Shit, sorry," you apologize before lifting your hand. "I am now. What's the last one?"

"It was never have I ever slept with a footballer," Liv explains quickly, but the entire group had this knowing look on their faces that told you everything they thought of you.

Maybe it was fueled by the anger directed at said footballer or the fact that you knew they all thought you were a prude for not having hooked up with anyone the whole time in uni, — as far as they knew, — but you give them a knowing look that caused everyone's expressions to shift.

"No fucking way, you have?" Sam asks and you take a shot as confirmation.

"Technically yes," you explain but decide to hide which player it was. Because if they knew it was one of the up-and-comings of the Premier League, you'd never hear the end of it. Plus, one of them was bound to snitch to a newspaper for sure. "Back when I was 17 and before I left for uni, I slept with someone who ended up getting scouted." You neglect to mention that someone was your best friend, who agreed to be your first time because you were sure you'd make a bad decision the moment you stepped foot in a uni.

If they knew where you were from, they would've figured it out instantly. But you didn't have a Mancunian accent and none of them had ever bothered to ask where you were from over these two years — except Liv, who was no longer paying attention to the whole game and just scrolling on her phone, — so you were basically in the clear.

They moved on from your grand revelation quickly and continued with the game. At the end of it, you were probably the most sober out of all of them, so you ordered a Cosmopolitan. Maybe alcohol led to bad decisions, but at least it kept you off your phone.

You continued to talk with your friends till Tina gasped. You all turn to her to ask what happened when she exclaims, pretty loudly, "Looks like all of us have a chance at checking 'hooking up with a footballer' off our lists tonight." She giggles before leaning back into her seat.

You join the rest of them to look at what Tina had just seen and realize that not one, but two teams' worth of players had just walked into the pub. From Cardiff City and... Man City.

You already feel your heartbeat quickening and your eyes instantly start looking for Jamie in the crowd. The thoughts of 'he has to be here,' and 'he can't be here,' battle it out in your head, but when your eyes finally land on your former best friend, you don't know if the butterflies in your stomach are a good thing or not.

"Well, fuck it." You hear one of the girls you're with say as she downs another shot and gets up from the table. Some of the others join her in the group, but you're still frozen from nerves. Best way to heat up? More cocktails.

You watch with the other girls from a distance as the braver ones take their chances with the footballers on the other side of the bar. But for most of it, you can't take your eyes off Jamie. 

He looks really different, like bad different. He's loud and boisterous, but not in the way he was before. You watch how he talks to his teammates and you can almost see how his overconfidence masks the level of insecurity he has with much older players. Or maybe you're overthinking it. You haven't seen him in a while.

When your friends get back to the table along with some new drinks and stories, you try and listen intently. But you really couldn't stop looking behind them.

You don't think Jamie's felt your eyes on him, so you weren't worried he'd turn and see you staring. But if he did, you wondered how he'd react. Would he go wide-eyed and stare back or just look away as if he didn't just spot his best friend of a decade at a pub? You were about to find out.

After downing one of the drinks in front of you, — you weren't even sure if you were the one who ordered that one, to be honest — you excuse yourself from the table. When they saw where you were walking over to, they decided to start cheering. It did help your nerves, even though you were approaching them for different reasons.

"Jamie!" You get his attention and the moment his eyes land on yours, shock fills his face. You almost scoff at that. He goes to the place where you're studying and assumes that he wouldn't run into you?

You didn't even plan out what you were going to say, so instead you sarcastically greet, "Nice to see you here. In Cardiff. Where I go to uni."

Jamie doesn't say anything and just continues to stare at you. His cocky facade almost slips too, till one of the other Man City players rests his arms on Jamie's shoulders and he suddenly tenses. You've seen him before, probably in one of those tabloid articles, judging from his overall demeanor. He seemed like the type to get into those scandals.

"Ah fuck, I thought we got rid of you lot already. Don't you have enough drinks from your friends over there?" George, you finally remembered his name, states and you're taken aback. He must've seen you coming from that direction.

"No, I'm not here for that." You answer bluntly before turning back to Jamie, starting to get annoyed. "Are you seriously not going to say anything?" 

The Jamie you knew would be the first to defend you, even if it was just over someone knocking into you in the halls or stealing your pens. But it wasn't that you were after, honestly. You just wanted him to say something, anything at all.

"You know her, Tartt?" George scoffs and looks at Jamie. When Jamie continues to stay silent and just looks down at his feet, he chuckles and nudges the younger footballer. "A past hook-up, huh? Judging by your reaction. No need to be embarrassed, Jamie," he glances back at you and tries to whisper, "She's quite fit. Well, by your standards."

You roll your eyes, the anger starting to bubble. Now, Jamie had to say something right? But seeing no reaction, you correct him yourself. "Look, I'm not one of his bitter exes. I'm his..." You actually don't how to end that sentence.

George takes advantage of your pause and by now, some of the footballers around them had turned their attention to the scene. "Look woman, I don't care who you are to him, but take. the. fucking. hint."

You still don't remove your eyes from him. "Jamie," you whisper, almost pleading at that point.

Jamie looks up and seeing the multiple eyes on him at the moment, he finally speaks up, "You want an autograph or something? We're trying to enjoy our night, so I'll sign a napkin for you and you can be on your way."

The coldness in his response causes you to stumble and you take a step back. What did he just say to you? You try and search his face for any sign of remorse or guilt. Something that says, 'Please don't hate me, I didn’t mean it.' Nothing.

The sounds of the other footballers laughing don’t help either; it only contributes to the rising feeling of heat and embarrassment in you. You can feel the tears starting to form. There's no reason for you to break down in front of all of them, so you answer quickly, "Right. No need. Sorry for disturbing your night." 

You turn around quickly, but not without hearing George ask Jamie who you were. For a second, you almost thought he'd give him the truth.

"Dunno, probably some fan I met before." That breaks the dam and the first few tears drop to your cheeks. A crying girl isn't an irregular sight at a bar, but you really didn't feel like staying in the same place as Jamie anymore.

You approach the table to grab your things when you notice that most of your friends had already scattered across the pub. The only one left there was Liv, — who was the designated driver for tonight despite your university being a 5-minute walk away — who notices your tear-stained face and is quick to rush over to you. "What's wrong? What happened?"

You shake your head. "Don't worry. I just want to head back." Liv hadn't even known you for two years, but she knew that you weren't one to talk about your feelings. Instead, she nodded and offered to help you out of the pub, but you shook your head once again. You had a relatively high limit and partner it with what just happened with Jamie, you were practically sober. You grabbed your clutch and coat before rushing out of the place, furiously wiping the teams from your face.

Fuck Jamie Tartt. Fuck those Man City losers. Fuck everyone involved in turning your best friend into whoever that was. The boy you once knew was gone. Fully and completely gone. You had to accept that.

But even then, you thought you'd hear the door open behind you. You thought it would be Jamie. You thought he'd chase after you. You thought he'd pull you into a hug. You thought he'd apologize for what he did and for everything. You thought he'd cradle your face as he did so. You thought he'd plant a tender kiss on your lips as an apology too. You thought he'd re-enter your life as if nothing had changed.

But he did none of that. 

And you went home alone.

—

"(Y/N)? It's Liv, again!" You hear from the other side of your door, but make no attempt to move from your position in your bed. It was just too comfortable, perfect for wallowing in when you've officially ended the longest friendship you've ever had. Liv continues, "I'm heading home soon, but I asked Donna if she could keep bringing food for you to your door till you head home."

You were touched by the gesture but knew you weren't going to touch any of those bags till late at night when the hall was completely deserted. Till then, you'd be sleeping. Your parents had delayed picking you up till the last day and you've never been more glad about that.

"See you next semester! Love you!" were Liv's parting words and once you heard her footsteps recede, you fell back to sleep.

In all honestly, you've lost track of time at that point. Yeah, it was pathetic sitting in your room as if you were mourning the death of a loved one, but it's not like anyone cared. Well, Liv did, which is why she started bringing you food when she realized you weren't leaving your room, but she was heading home to London. Your parents had no idea what happened and you intended to keep it that way. The rest of your friends were off with their own lives, not even giving you a second thought. Jamie sure as hell didn't care what happened to you. He made that clear.

So for the rest of your time left in the hall, you just stayed in your room. Like a hermit. Jamie would've found it funny, you thought once, till it caused you to burst into tears once again. The more you tried to forget Jamie, the more you thought of him, which was the worst loop you could be in.

He's even in your dreams. One of them felt so real because you were in your exact position in reality when your phone rang. You saw his name as the caller, but 'dream you' just pressed decline. Even deleted the missed call notification. Good for her.

Then, you wake up to a missed call and a text from your mom. On route to Cardiff! Can't wait to see you, sweetie. 

Ah, fuck. Had that much time really passed? You jumped out of your bed and start fixing up. Technically, you had 3 and a half hours to do so, but counting showering, cleaning up your suitcases from your dusty closet, and shoving almost a years worth of items into said suitcases, then you were in a bind and never prayed for traffic more in your life.

And from the sheer fear of your parents giving you a sermon in front of the entire building, you almost forgot about your former state of wallowing in self-pity. Then you were faced with taking down the decorations on your wall. 

There was a mix of everything from school banners, even flyers, and pictures you'd taken with your friends and parents. You started with those first until the only ones left were the ones related to Jamie. You had pictures with him from multiple stages of your life. There was one from the first football match of his you ever attended and one from your graduation, too. 

You had kept the note he made you when you were 16 and you joined your first individual debate tournament. ‘Fucking smash it!’ was scrawled in his handwriting on a post-it note, which you've hung on your wall since your first year of uni. 

Even the rings he used to buy you for your birthday till his mom told him to find something new. You slowly pulled them from your desk drawer and realized there were only four. One missing. They were old anyway. You end up shrugging it off and placing them into your suitcase.

When you started inserting the rest of the items into an envelope, you continue to look at that picture with Jamie from when you were seven. Suddenly overcome by an emotion — rage, pity, nostalgia, you're not really sure, — you crumple it with your two hands and hold it like that for a few seconds. 

You finally let go and see the two distorted faces, you're suddenly overcome by feelings of guilt. 7-year-old Jamie didn't do anything wrong; what was the point of taking your frustrations on a picture of him? Maybe you can throw darts at a printed photo of the current Jamie when you get home instead.

You flatten the picture as best you can before putting it back into the pile in the envelope. You finish packing your desk and place all the items into one of your suitcases. You look around the room, satisfied. Sure, your sheets weren't made yet, but you were going to leave the place anyway and you needed to shower. It was 40 minutes till your parents would knock on your door, — as seen in the picture they sent of the GPS — so it was more than enough for you to get ready.

Time passed by quickly and soon, your dad was helping bring your bags down to the car while your mom talked about how much weight you've lost while you were away, like they always did. 

"Oh! Jamie, he had a game against Cardiff last week, right?" Your dad remembers as he starts the car. You almost freeze at the name, but turn to look out the window to avoid your parents catching whatever expression you had on your face. You were too tired to mask it properly.

"Yes, he was amazing!" Your mom exclaimed before asking. "Georgie said she told him to meet up with you here. Did he?"

"No," you answered quickly. You never lied to your parents, which is probably why they accepted your response so easily. You don't look back at them and continue to look at the passing trees. "Must've been busy."

A/N: yeah... and there you go! here's what happened that night in the pub and hopefully it makes me much more clear why reader still holds something against jamie! we're going back to the present day timeline for the next one so stay tuned!

TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)

[rubyreduji]

Fav fics from ur moots?

ok ok im gonna try and fit as many moots in here as i can no matter how much we do or don't talk because i want to hype them all up and show how much i love their fics so answers under the cut

also if you weren't included im so sorry i literally love you all i just need to go stalk ur masterlists lol

@smileysuh - anteric; literally IS SO GOOD LIKE THE PLOT >>> minwon is so supportive i am literally so pro polyamory i have read it multiple times (ok but also a break too like nova's minwon fics are insane)

@gamerwoo - sharing is caring but i don't care; it was so cute and funny and the push and pull between minwon is so cute like fdjaslkf i love the dynamic and wonwoo being possessive

@jihoonotes - yearning; so mel is not active anymore (rip </3) but if you know anything about me you know how insane i am over this smau and im putting it on here so everyone can go read it and die over it with me (the slow burn was BURNING HOLY SHIT)

@sluttywoozi - paper rings; JIHOON FLUFF MY BELOVED it's so adorable and i love this song too so it's the perfect pairing and jihoon is written so sweetly also it plays into me being in love with jihoon's muscles

@leejihoonownsmyheart - on film; it is deadass one of my favorites of all time it's written so adorably, i love the reader and the dynamic with jihoon and it has humor and a bit of angst and its everything i need

@ssinboo - grasp the thorn; ROYALTY AU WHERE MINGYU KILLS PEOPLE FOR THE READER??? SIGN ME TF UP also just bath sex is so hot they're so cute but also fjslsdakasdfkl i loved this fic sm

@bitchlessdino - they're all so goodf jsklfa partying in your birthday suit; one of the first fics i read from nana and like??? I WAS A CHANGED MAN, it was cute and so hot and i love how they reconnected from knowing each other in the past

@pepperonidk - home for the holidays; fluffy adorable goodness that just warmed my heart and it helps that christmas is my favorite holiday (also i love a good fake dating trope)

@duhnova - bad dog; i re-read it today and like maybe i am biased because of my own interests but literally i love puppy boy gyu and like the reader is so mean but ajlkskldfs literally died the first time i read it

@onlyseokmins - neighbor!au thoughts; i know these aren't like full out fics but they have a CHOKEHOLD on me like i eat them up everytime i see a new one like yall don't get how insane i am over them

@strawberryya - claws; the idea of scratching up soonyoung's back makes me feral idk what it is but like fdsjkla him and the reader both were just so damn sexy in this fic

@savventeen - to build a home; i don't think this is a suprise this fic changed my life it was the best fluff i could imagine and it just made my heart happy like i love the way jihoon was characterized

@ncteez - ALL OF THEM LITERALLY??? if i had to pick one uhhh the perks of being that guy; i will be loyal to jihoon lol but also IT WAS SO GOOD the plot flowed well and it was funny but also cute and the smut was SO HOT JFDSKLA hon you really devoured with this one

@cheolhub - just the tip; very on brand for mingyu he was just so needy and cute the (small bit of) build up was delicious like when i read this i was screaming the whole time

@toruro - the letter; i feel like im legally obligated to say this fjsadkl but it is a REALLY good fic and ik how much work mika put into it and it was literally A MASTERPIECE like the reader was so relatable and the angst and the dynamics and fsjdlafdskla. im also biased and LOVE this drabble wrote for me lol

@gyuswhore - the thing about love; it's a long fic WHICH I LOVE but it didn't even feel that long like i was so invested in the plot and i love soonie and the way his was characterized was literally perfect like the slowburn was worth it

@lovelyhan - meet cute of the century; i put all of my reviews on this fic when it came out but the slowburn? the minor angst? the smut? PERFECTION LIKE kai put so much into this fic AND IT PAID OFF

@jeonghantis - menace; i just reblogged this because i apparently forgot to the first time i read it but literally SO GOOD and so hot like fjdsalf they're both teases and so needy i was drooling also PILLOW HUMPING >>>>

@beefboyandbabygirl - girl code; obvi like it's my jihoon 2000s romcom fantasy it's everything i need and i love all of the dynamics and the built up AND JIHOON IS SO CUTE

@sluttyminghao - daybreak; i read this a long time ago but i love a good best friends!au and i love vernon lol it was so hot and so cute and i just love how nonie was written

@onlymingyus - 7pm; i DIED when this fic came out im not even joking like idk what was put in it BUT I AM LITERALLY BARKING the build up and tension was insane and like just bss fucking you drives me wild

@seokgyuu - challenge me; okay tbh i didn't know mitch wrote this so like fjskdlaf i read this before i even started my own blog and each chapter is so good the plot is funny and i cannot get enough of it if you have time binge the whole series its so worth it

@onlyhuis - art project; LITERALLY ONCE AGAIN A FIC I READ A WHILE AGO AND NEVER RB-ED APPARENTLY but so so sooooo hot like the set up is so sexy for no reason and the reader is so teasing AND THE PAINT DFJKLSAL anyways...

@thepixelelf - bluff and nonsense; obviously it's literally one of my most favorite things i've read like the angst is perfect and i love soonyoung's internal monologue its super well written like it could actually happen and i just really like the plot and set up ya know pls pls pls go give this one a read if you haven't yet (and there's a she/her and he/him ver too!)

@wongyuuu - elevator; my most recent moot literally due to this fic!!! it's so good like the emotions and angst put into it are next level and i love a good soulmate au so the idea that they cry together is so unique so go read it you will very much enjoy it

[trashlie]

I saw a theory about Mr. Kim being Kousuke's real father. Makes me want to throw up. And then I saw another comment on that thread how the real thing that would break Kou is realizing that Nol is no longer his brother.

And omg ew? Sang Chul would be??

And I'm never getting over Nol's plastered smile. The sneer. The humans suck line.

The "Convince Me" line.

Girl I'm going thru it.

You totally called it on the theories.

The WORST kind of "OH GOD I KNEW IT" weeks have been happening for me when it comes to ILY lmaoooo and I NEED QUIMCHEE TO GIVE ME A BREAK AND LET ME CATCH MY BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna drop my thoughts below the read more! Spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!!!!!!!!

When Elle and I talked about the "Rand isn't Kousuke's father" theory on the fourth episode of our podcast I even talked about how as much as I don't want the theory to be true for Kousuke's sake, narratively it's SO compelling and it just makes SO MUCH SENSE. I remember the first time I read the theory, too, how initially I was like "no way, this feels really out there" but it just stuck with me. I couldn't let it go, I kept going back to that panel, the "you're the sole heir" speech bubble over Nol's face and I think I've just always felt that it meant something, you know? That quimchee would NOT have done that if it didn't mean something, if we weren't supposed to read into it, if it wasn't meant to be the earliest of foreshadowing of this theory.

And to have it actually confirmed!!!!! Just has me SCREAMING but absolutely anticipating what it means for everyone!!!! Because not only does it mean everything Kousuke has ever worked for - the only thing he's ever had to his name, the only career option he's ever had - is taken away from him and thrust to someone who may not even want it, someone who wants to be as far away from this family and this coldblooded, bloodthirsty rivalry as he can get.

Neither of them get any reprieve.

Kousuke never had any other option, and is left with nothing.

Nol will likely be thrust into the heart of everything he wants to excuse himself from, everything he's come to resent and loathe and GOD it's insane to see how it's all unfolding, after all this time!!!!!!!!

I think, too, in thinking about the fact that Nol isn't even Kousuke's brother is that it means re-examining the rawness of 212 and what it means for Kousuke, who believes that he got none of the good traits of Rand that he sees in Nol, the good parts that he's never been privileged enough to see in Rand himself, and that he was left with only the worst parts of him - the cold man with his back turned to him. But it's worse, because none of that was his.

(Please know that I am saying this SO VERY LOOSELY, in the sense of how I imagine Kousuke is thinking this. I'm not a fan of the "Rand suspected Kousuke wasn't his son and that's why he was so cold with him" theories. Frankly, I think they're disgusting and it shows an interesting bias in people in how they perceive biological family to be more worthy over, say, adopted family. I think it's very evident that Rand loves both of his sons and has done the best within his means, but has been dealing with an incredibly controlling tyrant of a wife who has ensured that he had little chance to provide the nurturing he wanted to, who ensured that there was a gap between him and Kousuke so that Kousuke would be forever chasing after him, because she needed him to stay focused on her goal. I refuse to humor conversation that implies Rand loves or favors Nol more because that's his biological son and because Kousuke is, currently suspected to be, the son of a Kim, he has less love for him. That's a disgusting mindset. Biological love does not make someone inherently love their child more. Yui herself proves this. And in that same vein, not being Kousuke's biological father does not excuse Rand's part in Kousuke's neglect and that it was the commodification of his love that has factored into how Kousuke has come to view love in this transactional manner and why he struggles to see his father's true love for what it is. Regardless of whose genetic material fathered him, Rand is the man who raised Kousuke as his son, the man Kousuke saw as his father, and therefore he is Kousuke's father.)

Kousuke has modeled himself after his father in every way, tried so hard to emulate him, to be someone who will make his father proud, who can earn his affection and feels like he hasn't succeeded at that yet - and to find out that the man he has spent his entire life emulating is not, in fact, his father? Is going to CRUSH him. Not because it changes the fact that it was Rand who raised him and Rand to whom Kousuke looked up, but because it's yet another lie in a series of Yui's lies, yet another lie that she has used to manipulate him, to mold him into her pawn, to create him into a likeness of something of her own desire, rather than ever allow him to be his own person.

She lied to him about his father. She whispered paranoia to him about his brother his brother's mother. She made him believe that everyone is out to get them, to tear them down, that because they are better than everyone else he can trust no one. She used these tactics to isolate him and played upon the paranoia and fear that she created and instilled upon him so that when he did rebel and stray from her, when he did try to be his own person and have friends and a life of his own, she could pull him back to where she felt he belonged, at her side. She smothered and suffocated him and manipulated and lied to him and nothing she has done to or for him has ever been honest and even his father is a lie. Even his goals and motivation is a lie.

I know a lot of people still hate Kousuke but it fucks me up. It has me choked up, to think of what it must be like to be him, and to have this bombshell thrust upon you, that everything you believed has been a lie, that your mother has been manipulating you for your whole life, she's been drugging you, you have finally grasped the gravity of the harm you have caused using the justification she has equipped you with. To come to the realization that everything you ever justified was never truly justifiable, that you caused harm that cannot be undone.

How do you come back from that?

How do you deal with that?

And then, to find out that the man you've believed was your father isn't. That the only person who ever offered you unconditional love, whose relationship you've destroyed isn't even your brother, and has no reason to ever turn to look your way ever again.

Kousuke was right. He has no brother.

And it devastates me lmao ;____________;

And I do really think that it means his father is Gun Kim. All of the comparisons to Sangchul and Kousuke have haunted me as much as this theory.

BUT MAN IT'S JUST SO MUCH QUIMCHEE IS JUST OUT HERE WITH A BODY COUNT. MA'AM. SLOW DOWN I CAN'T KEEP UP. Nol is on a warpath and I need him to CHILL.

Actually no you know what was the FUNNIEST thing to me about Nol and his humans suck line? THE FACT THAT MY GIRL SHINAE IS OUT HERE BLUSHING.

GIRL. /GIRL/

She is DOWN BAD. SO FUCKING BAD. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i can't stand her I love her she's a whole hot mess express I really need to gather myself and drop some thought dump posts over here finally because generally my reaction to all of these episodes lately has been [SCREAMING CAT]

i'm two for two on "dark theories i didn't want to be true but knew in my gut are" and listen. I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT ;_______; HOWLING

[theonethatyaks93]

A Discussion on Pinky's Sexuality/Gender (Day 3 of Pinky Week)

(Quick Note: Ahhh! Sorry about the delay on this! It's just that I've had a lot on my plate and with that new Pinky and The Brain trailer thing, I've been kind of stressed out. This is mostly because I've been trying to lower my expectations as far as they will go so I won't be disappointed or I'll be blown away. I just don't know what to think. Also, burnout is real. I'm making it all up this week, I promise!)

(Another note: I didn't expect this post to be delayed so much! Oh god! Anyways, the next few days will be a makeup week where I finally finish Pinky Week and get prepared for Brain Week coming up. This was supposed to come out last Wednesday, but I had absolutely no time! Also, I had to do a LOT of re-watching clips and research for this! Way more than I had thought. Sorry!!!)

Hi everyone and welcome to the third day of Pinky Week! For those who are just joining me, here's the gist of what's going on. Since there's going to be a new set of Pinky and The Brain shorts on Friday and Pinky's narfday was last Saturday, I decided to dedicate an entire week to talking about Pinky. Every day, I'll be making a new post about a different aspect of him, discussing things such as his character. I've already made a happy birthday and a more personal story about Pinky so go check those out. Ok, so let's begin today's discussion.

3/22/23 Discussing Pinky's Sexuality/Gender- Listen, most of this will just serve as possible headcanons/theories on events. I personally think that Pinky is pansexual and genderfluid; obviously not everyone will agree with me. This post is just a celebration on the things that I have noticed during the course of the reboot and spin-off series. I'll be tracing his evolution from loyal assistant to best friend to possible love interest for Brain. I will also be talking about how his gender identity transitioned from an interesting little joke to a realistic and admirable portrayal of a character who's not afraid to be himself. I am trying to cover as much ground as possible so let's give it a shot.

Pinky's Sexuality: Pansexual

What Does Being Pansexual Mean?: Pansexual can be defined as a romantic attraction to male, female, and nonbinary people; so basically, you like everyone. While seemingly not as common as being gay or bisexual, pansexual characters have been getting the respect and love they deserve.

Why Does Pinky Embody Pansexuality?: Pinky being pansexual has been tossed around as a kind of fan theory for a few years. Some people think that he's bisexual (like Brain) and some think he's just straight up gay (read below section for further information). However, I fall under the group that says he's pansexual because it fits his character the best. Pinky is the kind of mouse who would love just about everyone, no matter their gender or species. His kindness for anyone knows no bounds and though his heart gets constantly broken, he always gets back up again. Pinky is always determined to support Brain in everything he does, no matter how upset his friend makes him. His unbridled affection for Brain is honestly a pretty big giveaway to Pinky not being straight in the slightest.

Could Pinky be Just Gay?: This really depends on the person you ask. If you were a new fan of the series, only starting to watch during season 3 of the reboot, then yeah. Pinky is basically gay in those final ten episodes with him never mentioning a female love interest for the first time (I think) ever. It's insane. Also, he hints at his attraction to Brain in several ways such as dressing up alongside him in feminine clothing (he didn't have to do that) and even holding his hand tightly (much to Brain's surprise). He also does that little hand gesture at least five or six times and showcases his more extravagant personality. So, my conclusion is that if you were to only watch season 3 of the reboot then Pinky is nearly 100% gay. However, when you watch the rest of the franchise, this changes his sexuality to pansexual since he has a few female attractions earlier on.

Setting Things Up (Animaniacs 1993): Below is the first time Pinky gives Brain a compliment. It's from their debut episode "Win Big."

The first "gay stare" from the entire franchise in the episode "Where Rodents Dare."

Although we don't get too many Brinky moments from the earliest era of the mice's existence, we do get to see that even from the beginning, Pinky really cared for Brain in many ways. He gives his friend compliments, admires his work, and even tries his best to follow his plans, (though Pinky can get distracted easily). In "Win Big" Pinky gives a seemingly content reaction when Brain pulls him by the tail. "Where Rodents Dare" gives us the first official gay stare in the series, done by Pinky after Brain talks to him about the plan. Pinky is often seen acting in a very positive way around Brain, no matter what his friend says. While this was the point in the series where the two's relationship could only be seen as a partnership/acquaintanceship, Pinky still seems to call Brain his friends without hassle. Brain seems more reserved here and is often more brash when it comes to Pinky and his behavior.

Pinky Gets Flirty (Pinky and The Brain): Below is a screenshot from the infamous "colleague" line from episode "That Smarts"

Pinky doesn't know what to say to Brain on their "dinner date" in segment "Brain's Night Off."

This well-known frame from segment "Beach Blanket Brain" (which coincidently is paired with the previously mentioned segment).

A flirtatious line from "Brain Noir."

Pinky consoles a distraught Brain in episode "You'll Never Eat Food Pellets in This Town Again."

Pinky playing around with Brain from "Pinky's Plan."

Pinky in his adorable sweater from "Megalomaniacs Anonymous."

Pinky trying to save Brain from an avalanche in (one of my favorite episodes) "This Old Mouse."

Things began to escalate quickly after the mice got their own spin-off show. Pinky's more flirty tendencies and his relationship with Brain began to grow stronger and stronger. He showcases his feelings more often here as well. For example: when Brain calls Pinky his colleague, Pinky gets all giddy and he swoons a little. When Brain compliments Pinky after his mindless TV watching proves beneficial to the plan, Pinky tells Brain to stop it as Brain's making him feel all gooshy. This moment is complete with Pinky looking flustered and there's even a music swell to compliment the entire ordeal. Pinky is shown on multiple occasions to take great pleasure in flirting or teasing Brain, giggling often. His loyalty to his friend is also shown in excess. When Pinky sees that Brain is going to perish after an avalanche in episode "This Old Mouse", he goes all the way up north to find him. Pinky does manage to save Brain, not only proving his dedication to his companion, but convincing Brain that the future can in fact be changed. Pinky even says things like "I can't lose you again" and when Brain tries to get him to leave for his own safety, Pinky repeatedly denies doing so, wanting to save Brain. It's incredibly heart-warming. In episode "Broadway Malady" Pinky sings a song after he and Brain split-apart about how much he misses him (and Brain hears the entire song and begins crying!). Pinky even gets the entire world's supply of important musical critics to watch Brain's show, much to Brain's surprise. Pinky's dedication to Brain is admirable, and the bond the two share is precious in every single way. Pinky is always there to comfort Brain in his darkest hours. He also gives meaningful gifts to his best friend including the globe keychain from the Christmas episode. Even when Snowball tries to convince Pinky to join him, he remains loyal. Despite the many flaws in their relationship, Pinky truly believes that Brain is the most important mouse in his life and he would do anything for him.

Secret Intentions (Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain): Below is a picture of Pinky staring at Brain from "The Girl with Nothing Extra."

Pinky imagining him and Brain as a married couple! This is from my favorite PEaTB episode "Pinky's Dream House."

Despite being poorly received by fans, Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain gave us a few new, very obvious signs of Pinky's possible attraction to Brain. Though he has a gained a massive sassitiude, he still maintains most of his core character traits from the spin-off. The most obvious case of a romantic hint was in the segment "Pinky's Dream House." This gives us an extensive view at Pinky's desires, which include being a housewife to Brain and living a perfect life. He even goes on to sing a song about his dream (the song is really good and well written). This is one of the most ambiguously gay moments in the entire franchise; it's actually stunning that they managed to sneak this past network censors. Pinky wants this to happen, and it isn't a version of him that is female. It's just Pinky wanting to be a housewife to Brain in one of the sweetest segments from this mixed bag of a show. Pinky's wish does come true and he does get to live with Brain for a while, but it doesn't last. It's a darn shame too because it seemed like Brain was starting to enjoy this lifestyle as well. Aside from this, there are a few cute gay stares and a compliment or two on occasion. It's really admirable how Pinky's dream of being a housewife was taken very seriously, and that he still cares for Brain's needs no matter what.

A Troubling Conflict (the Brinky vs. Pinky x Phar Fignewton feud): Below is a picture of Pinky and Phar Fignewton (you get the idea of Brinky by this point).

Yeah, this was a thing. Back before the reboot was made and nearly everyone became a Brinky shipper, there was a small conflict within the fandom between two well-regarded ships. Brinky fans were just starting to migrate their way onto various internet platforms and the ship was gaining steam. However, there were a few people who stuck with the canon ship of Pinky x Phar Fignewton instead. Their reasoning was that the two were essentially "soulmates" with their designs being similar and their interactions all the more precious. For those who aren't aware, Phar Fignewton is a character that was introduced in the segment "Jockey for Position." She'd later appear as only a cameo in Pinky and The Brain segments "The Third Mouse" and "A Meticulous Analysis of History." She made her return in the movie Wakko's Wish, where she had a more extensive role as Pinky's love interest (or so we think). After this movie, she never appeared alongside the mice again, fading into the realm of obscure Animaniacs characters. A lot of people really liked this ship though and fanart made its way onto sites like DeviantArt. However, Pinky x Phar Fignewton fans would often denounce Brinky for interfering with their ship and Brinky fans would do the same to them. It was a giant mess. Unfortunately for the fans of the horse-mouse couple, their ship was laid to rest in non-canon during 2020 when the Animaniacs reboot came out, as she only appeared in a brief cameo. Pinky was now more focused on Brain and Brinky shippers rejoiced as the mice came close to being canon. Though many of us out there do ship Brinky, it's important to remember our fallen alternate ship and the cuteness it brought us. Brinky did win in the end, taking a lot of Pinky x Phar Fignewton shippers away from their previous ship and into a larger group of the fandom.

Put to the Side: (Reboot Season 1): Below is Pinky staring at Brain yet again from "Ex-Mousina" (I wanted to put the cute moment from "Future Brain" here but I think it's more suited to Brain rather than Pinky).

This adorable exchange from episode "Babysitter's Flub."

Here we are, the Animanics reboot. This is where Pinky's sexuality stops being questioned and instead becomes somewhat confirmed. Much to the delight of many people, Pinky's interactions with Brain become a lot less platonic as the series goes along; there are also less straight routes to fall down as well. However, things didn't kick into shape until later seasons. Cute Pinky and Brain moments were put to the side in exchange for focusing on re-introducing the mice to a modern audience in season one. There wasn't a complete non-existence as we got a few adorable stares and even a near-kiss (wait until we get to Brain Week to hear about that one!). The mice did have their fair share of gay scenes such as the X and O confusion bit from "Babysitter's Flub" and the ending of "Future Brain" where Pinky saves Brain from falling into a portal. Pinky's loyalty to Brain is stronger than ever, with Brain being the one that has to go through the test in his relationship with Pinky. Sure Pinky feels a twinge of jealousy when Brain essentially abandons him for a robot, but that ends up in complete disaster. While this season did a great job of re-establishing their relationship, Pinky's presence as a character had to be sacrificed. He barely has any major roles in these first segments, almost seeming like a side or background character at times. He still proves to have a close bond with Brain, always listening to his feelings and offering comfort. Luckily, better things were on the horizon.

New Developments: (Reboot Season 2): Below is a picture of an underrated embrace from "Narf Over Troubled Water."

An extremely popular moment from "Happy Narfday."

Pinky caught gay staring YET AGAIN in "Wakkiver Twist." (It never ends!)

Hand holding from episode "Narf Over Troubled Water." (This episode just has too many moments to count!)

This season managed to blow everyone's expectations out of the water. Not only did we get more undeniable moments of Pinky showcasing his possible feelings for Brain, but Brain seemed to recuperate those affections. Pinky was more used here, him having at least four times as many gay moments as he did in the previous season. He often lovingly gazes at Brain, gives him tight embraces, holds his hand, and even mentions attending a traffic light party and wearing yellow, seemingly implying that he doesn't entirely know what their is relationship at this point. The number of moments in season 2 that made people scream in delight are nearly impossible to count. Here are a few notable ones. In "Backwards Pinky", Pinky often makes vaguely flirtatious comments about Brain, to which Brain responds in annoyance. In "The Flawed Couple", Pinky is seen in the first pilot playing a housewife to Brain in a similar situation to "Pinky's Dream House." Pinky's loyalty to Brain comes full circle in "Run Pinky Run" where he would do anything to save his best friend. "Happy Narfday" probably has some of the most obvious interactions including Pinky calling Brain "darling", Pinky moving Brain around and holding his hand, and even an adorable hug at the segment's end. Pinky compliments Brain and makes pleasant statements to him in "Plight of Hand" and "Mouse Madness"; in the former, he even fights against his own hands in order to save Brain. "Narf Over Troubled Water" was probably the most famous episode when it came to Brinky moments. There was just so much to comprehend at once; it's extremely difficult to try and mark down it all. Pinky comforting Brain after he starts doubting himself, Pinky coming back for Brain after their split-up, and that ENTIRE ending sequence were the most noticeable. These moments were impactful to Pinky's character as they showed his displays of affection and kindness and that their co-dependent relationship was not only important but entirely necessary to the franchise.

Pinky's Sexuality Confirmed? (Reboot Season 3): Below is a picture of Pinky posing in a seductive manner while Brain watches in annoyance. From the segment "How The Brain Thieved Christmas."

A clip of Pinky kissing Brain from "Groundmouse Day!"

A picture of a picture of Pinky kissing Brain from "How to: Friendship."

Pinky holds Brain by the shoulders in an attempt to steady him. From "How The Brain Thieved Christmas."

Pinky after Brain mentions the current situation being "too romantic." He heavily implies that he thinks that he and Brain are also in a romantic situation. I'm not kidding! From segment "Royal Flush."

Pinky is so proud of Brain for taking over the world. From episode "Groundmouse Day."

Pinky touches Brain's image on the screen in an precious manner! From "How to: Friendship."

Pinky holds Brain's hand tightly after destroying AI Julia (the entire moment will be shown when we get to Brain Week!). From episode "All's Fair in Love and Door."

Season three had easily the most on-the-nose segments when it came to hints at Brinky. This is also the season that confirmed to a lot of people that Pinky was not straight. In fact, if you were only to watch this season and nothing else, Pinky could be considered gay. Not only does he never mention a female love interest but he seems to have taken his flirty and more romantic tendencies with Brain to another level. There is an intimate interaction between the mice in every single episode, whether it be settle or extremely suggestive and obvious. Pinky in particular starts to showcase his feelings in a more outrageous way. These moments are just precious. In the first few segments, Pinky is seen doing various things, including staring at Brain, rubbing his head when he gets stressed, touching Brain's image on a screen, envisioning Brain in the stars, making an adorable macaroni photo of him kissing Brain, implying that he thinks that he and Brain are having a romantic moment, relying on Brain to calm him down in a car, and resting his head on Brain's head. The second half of the season showcases Brain seemingly responding to these actions in a not so settle manner (at least from an audience perspective). From Pinky kissing Brain goodnight in one of the most hyped-up moments from the entire reboot to Pinky getting somewhat jealous and hurt when he sees that Brain was married to Julia in an alternate world, these precious scenes come in abundance. The final four episodes contain more development for Brain than Pinky, but they're still noteworthy. In "All's Fair in Love and Door", Pinky looks very surprised when Brain sacrifices himself to save Pinky from AI Julia. After Pinky saves Brain in the end, he even holds Brain's hand tightly, much to the latter's surprise. "How The Brain Thieves Christmas" was more of an exploration of Brain than Pinky, but the taller mouse has some fun moments. He poses "seductively" in front of Brain when modeling for the toy. Pinky gives Brain a meaningful gift: the thing he needed to take over the world. Pinky even says "love you!" to Brain in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment in the second part. The ending was also quite sweet with Pinky making a ton of gay stares and starting lots of embraces with Brain. In "International Mouse of Mystery", the whole song shows Pinky dropping essentially compliments towards his friend. Pinky also seemingly wants Brain to kiss him at one point, only for Brain to throw him away. Pinky is almost definitely at least some form of LGBTQ+ at this point, due to his relationship with Brain being very strong. Seeing these kinds of interactions between best friends, male best friends nonetheless, is interesting and unique. It makes their friendship/possible romantic relationship all the more special and this is why they have an extensive fanbase of people who really care for them.

Pinky is a Genderfluid Icon (An Overview from "Noah's Lark" to "International Mouse of Mystery"): Below is the very first time we see Pinky in a dress from segment "Noah's Lark" from the original Animaniacs.

Pinky in a dress inspired by the movie Gone With the Wind in episode "Brainie the Poo"

A collection of Pinky's many outfits from the Animaniacs reboot. These are from episodes "Mouse Congeniality", "Royal Flush", and "International Mouse of Mystery."

Pinky is honestly one of the most influential and important characters when it comes to gender identity and just being yourself, at least in the modern media. The running "joke" of him wearing dresses went from being a little gag in various episodes to being an actual part of his personality, revealing that it is something he enjoys quite a lot. And no one every belittles him for his decisions, especially Brain, who only gets annoyed with Pinky's actions rather than his appearance. In fact during some segments, Brain seems to have a reaction to Pinky's looks, especially in "Mouse Congeniality." While many characters characters have cross-dressed in old cartoon such as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, they were usually to evade the capture of a foe. Pinky does this in a lot of plans, sometimes because he wants to, other times because it's necessary for the plan to work. He didn't have to dress up in "Royal Flush", but he chose to do so. That's amazing. He also doesn't dislike being referred to by she/her pronouns. At first, things didn't start out so revolutionary. Pinky's first time in a dress was in the Animaniacs segment "Noah's Lark." Rather than looking sophisticated, he looks like he's only wearing this as a disguise to go along with Brain's plan to sneak onto the ark. It's portrayed in a silly way, as if Pinky was forced to do this. He does this again in episode "Meet John Brain" when he tries to play the role of Brain's first lady. When the spin-off series was introduced, Pinky's feminine side was exposed in a more natural, less comical way. The dresses he wore were more elaborate, more colorful, and cuter. He'd be seen playing with lipstick in episode "Of Mouse and Man", showing that this was something he did for fun. After that, he can often be seen in dresses during various parody episodes, often playing the female character. He also posed as a female in episode "My Feldmans My Friends" alongside Brain as his spouse. However, in the song "The Really Great Dictator", Pinky is seen in a pink dress in what has become one of his most beloved appearances in dress. Not only does he not wear any makeup or wig for the very first time, but in the context of the song, Pinky didn't have to wear a dress at all. It was his personal decision, rather than one made by force. Despite wearing a ton of dresses, Pinky could rock the masculine wardrobe as well, being seen in suits, tuxedoes, sweaters, and swim trunks throughout the series. In Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain, Pinky would add more outfits and looks to his collection including he (and Brain!) wearing lipstick and earrings, a Hansen inspired getup, and of course, the well-known headscarf and apron from "Pinky's Dream House" which was discussed earlier. Pinky in dresses would become a popular part of the fandom; however no one was prepared for the glory that would be given in the reboot, around 22 years after Pinky was last seen in feminine clothing.

The reboot would give us incredible moments when it came to Pinky as a character. He could finally be himself and showcase all his marvelous beauty. The first instance of Pinky in an outfit was in season 2 episode "The Flawed Couple" where Pinky is seen in typical housewife attire for a parody of the show The Honeymooners. His most iconic, popular, and recognizable dress was in the episode "Mouse Congeniality" where Pinky joins in a beauty pageant to help Brain in a plan for world domination. Pinky outfit here goes all out, even to the point where Brain is impressed with his work. Pinky is seen here in a blonde wig, has purple eye shadow, long eyelashes, lipstick, a pink dress with sash, long pink gloves, and high-heeled shoes. This is perhaps his most elaborate outfit to date, with him sporting a completely new and impressive appearance. He is also seen in a few alternate costumes including a bikini (finally!) and a baby costume (I don't know you guys). Pinky even manages to win the pageant, albeit not by vote. Him winning the pageant is a very heartfelt and genuinely happy moment. Pinky stating that he wanted to be the most beautiful human woman on the planet was so precious and sweet. It also offers a great look at Pinky, showing that cross-dressing is something he genuinely enjoys and wishes to do. Even though he doesn't wear another dress throughout the rest of the season, Pinky will sometimes randomly have eyelashes or act in a feminine manner. It's so adorable. In season 3, Pinky continues to push and break boundaries, blessing us with two new looks, though they are similar to his previous outfit in "Mouse Congeniality." In "Royal Flush", Pinky is wearing a red version of his previous dress along with purple long gloves, high heels, and another blonde wig. In a few scenes towards the beginning, Pinky has eyelashes. However as the segment continued along, those disappeared permanently, leaving him again without any makeup. He still looks incredible though. It's quite intriguing to see Pinky without makeup in a dress because that hasn't been seen since the 90's. His final outfit comes from the segment "International Mouse of Mystery", which has also gotten some attention after a frame from this cold-opening was leaked in early February 2023. This outfit contains elements of the previous two looks with Pinky wearing a red dress, though it's a darker shade, having dark purple eyeshadow, eyelashes, lipstick, high heels, and a red wig. It's really cute how he tries to play the Bond girl seen in a lot of spy films and he looks really good. Throughout, the entire song portion (Pinky has an angelic voice), Pinky is seen in his getup with Brain even "saving" him at one point. It's super cool that even though three different studious animated these episodes (Digital eMation, Titmouse, Saerom), the dresses and design remained consistent. Though it would've been nice to see Pinky get more dresses to wear, the ones he got proved to be good enough to leave an impact on the community. Every time Pinky is seen in a dress, he's treated with an enormous amount of respect and is showered with praise from all angles. He is a genderfluid icon, and can be inspiring to people in the ways he expresses himself in such a natural way. Even if this show is forgotten, there remains some hope that Pinky will be remembered as an important figure in the realm of gender identity and positivity.

Conclusion: Overall, Pinky exemplifies true greatness when it comes to representation in the LGBTQ+ community. Even though things started off in a nuanced manner, things began to become more obvious as the series went along. Pinky began to showcase his feminine side, wearing dresses and makeup for enjoyment. His apparent attraction to Brain becomes more exaggerated in the reboot. It's so wonderful to see this kind of character in our ever-changing world. Even though most of this involves things that haven't been outright confirmed, it's still important to look though all this change and growth. There are a lot of individuals out there who could and do latch onto Pinky, including myself. While he may seem like a surface-level mouse at first, if you take a deeper look, you may find that he's not as simple as he appears. I hope you took something from this, whether it be some random person on Tumblr charting Pinky's relationship with Brain and with his character growth, or a bit of information you never knew. I look forward to continuing Pinky Week in high spirits. I'll be focusing on specific moments of character development in the next three installments, so be prepared. Anyways, have a great day and/or night and I'll see you next time! Narf!

[starkandthewaynes]

Bengal & Lynx

Ch. 1

"Kyo, I think this final is gonna drive me insane." Lennox says to her cat, who looked at them and then just bit their laptop. "I know, you don't like it either." Lennox says as they get their phone out for a picture. They quickly took to Insta, but just shook their head.

Jason was right only 3 more days until Kyo and them were on a plane to Gotham City, New Jersey. They couldn't wait. Last time they had seen Jay, he hadn't died. When he did die, Bruce hadn't known what to do with Lennox so he shipped them off to boarding school in London, England. Yeah, that hadn't been a fun time for anyone. Dick had reached out several times, but it had turned into more of an annoyance than a help.

And when Jay did return to the land of the living, and re-joined the family, Lennox had also changed. They had always been able to see shades and ghosts, but when they moved to London, it had gotten worse, and this side of the pond the best person they could call was John Constantine. That had been a fun phone call.

"No way kid, I am not teaching you magic, I didn't even teach your brother, I ain't teaching you." John had said on the phone, but then they'd replied with; "Uncle Johnny, please, I keep seeing shit in the teacher's lounges. I need help." Who knew Johnathon Constantine, Hellblazer, Laughing Magician, Conman had a weak spot for kids who had supernatural gifts.

Lennox shook their head, thinking about the past was not going to help them study for their last final, or help them pack for summer. Luckily they didn't have to pack up the whole flat, Bruce had bought it for them. Nah, they were just heading to Gotham for the summer, before they came back for their senior year of college. Sure they were graduating early, but they had a plan for after school. They we're gonna help run the Bengel & Lynx foundation, a subject of the Martha Wayne Foundation that helped impoverished areas get help for local theatres and libraries. It's why they were triple majoring in Theatre, English, and business, while also minoring in art and history. Or They will once they pass these finals then two more semesters.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lennox was checking everything to make sure they had everything. Kyo was already in his little bag ready for the flight. He was so cute and ready. They took a picture. They couldn't help it, their Instagram page was practically dedicated to Kyo, at this point they really should just make it his page, but then all the press would get uppity. The only bad thing about having Wayne attached to Pierce was the press.

Lennox laughed. They had met Steph when she, Duke, and Cas had come over to London with Tim on a business trip. Or at least that was the official public story. The real reason was Spoiler, Orphan, and Signal had a joint case. It was still a fun trip where Lennox had gotten to meet their older sister and younger brother and pseudo sister.

Lennox took a cab to the airport, just because their family had money doesn't mean they needed to use the private jet. As soon as they were through security and on the plane, they could finally relax. They pulled out an old warn copy of Treasure Island, a comfort story.

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Lennox liked Jay's, duke's and Tim's tweets as they picked up their bags, and looked around for Jason. They heard a loud engine and saw a pretty badass bike show up. They driver skided into park, got off and held up a sign. Lennox couldn't help but cackle as they read it. In Jason's chicken scratch blown up were the word's "Welcome Home, Lynx!" They loved and missed their twin so much. They couldn't help it when they ran into his arms. "Bengal!" They shrieked as hepicked them up, careful of Kyo, and spun them around. "I missed you so much, Lynx." He whispers as the two just stand in one another's presence. "By the way, do you know how to ride a bike?" Jay asks, grabbing their bags. They chuckle. "Yeah, Bengal, I know how to ride a bike; Dickie made sure of it." So did working with Cinstantine, made for quick getaways. Lennox adds in their head. "Right." He says, handing them a spare helmet.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"You totally forgot Bruce had all of us on twitter, didn't you?" Lennox asks, Jay, Dick and them are in the family room. "I tried getting him to stop, but he was being Jason." Dick whines, as three of the oldest Waynes sigh. "How long you think we got?" Lennox asks, as Dick looks at his watch. "Well, Bruce tweeted that 30 seconds ago, so I think we got probably-" "Twins! Dick! Study now!" "Now, we got until now." Dick sighs, getting up. On the way there they passed by the others, who were snickering. They weren't in trouble.

"You three wanna tell me something?" Bruce asks, as the three kids rock back and forth on their toes. "I'm graduating next winter?" Lennox tries, as the three men stare at Lennox. "You have been working hard huh?" Jay asks as they shrug. "Got myself a plan Bengal, and Tim's been helping me get a jump start." Lennox says, as Bruce nods. "I wanna hear when we're done here, Lynx." Jay says as Lennox nods. "

Yes, well, firstly I wanna know how old you all were." Bruce says as Lennox smiles. "Well, Bengal and I weren't here that's for sure." Lennox says as Jay turns wide eyed. "What are you doing?" He hisses as Lennox just smiles. "What?" Bruce asks, as Lennox nods. "Yeah, it's what happens when you grow up in the Alley, cigs are just apart of the ambiance. So yeah, Jay bought us our first pack three days before you picked us up, we we're celebrating that we had gotten ourselves a job." Lennox says as Bruce stiffens up, just like Lennox knew he would. Bruce doesn't like to be reminded of how hard some of his kids have had it. They walk out of the study, and all their siblings are staring. "Check Twitter." Is all Dick says

Yes this is another new batfam smau I need to spice things up sometimes leave everyone on their toes (PS if you saw this earlier no you didn't)

Next

Masterlist

[mymarifae]

hey it’s the writing anon from a while ago ^_^ read your thread on akito and kashika and i’d like to say THANK YOU for recognizing that kashika doesn’t have to be read so literally when looking at akito as a character 😭

it is genuinely a little jarring to see people go “oh he canonically wants to die hahaha” and leave it at that when he’s really been on a path of healthy growth for a while as of burn my soul … please!! he’s found a way out of the mindset of survival and desperation, he’s grown to love what he’s doing without so much of the fear of being left behind and his storied “future” is more within his grasp than ever, because he’s let his partners in and is more willing to lean on them, growing alongside them

i’m not saying we should disregard what he’s gone through in the past but i’ve also noticed it’s a bit of a trend within people interpreting akito to attribute his past actions to his current self— like i STILL see people bring his actions in main story and use that as their baseline for how he is as a character when it’s…. just not that true anymore. yes he’s kind of an asshole but he’s also learned that he has a place within vbs and that he loves his groupmates and they love him :(

anyway thank you :) your thread was a very good read!

omg hi again !!

yes it really seems like a good chunk of the prsk fandom struggles with like... acknowledging character development. i'm not entirely sure what it is, but it's insane to see how many people treat these characters like they're static figures. it's one thing to revisit past events and explore avenues colopale didn't take, and build upon the things they neglected (or just re-build entirely where they fucked up). it's another to look at everything akito is doing Now and respond to it with "he's about to overwork himself and go into another long spiral isn't he. oh look he got a line in beyond the way with the word 'die' in it he must still be suicidal and struggling with his inferiority complex oh no 😱" LIKE

akito has come so, so, SO far. his development means the world to me !!!! it has been so amazing to see this scared, self-conscious, bitter, traumatized kid grow into someone who is Confident and Passionate and Excited and Bright. he's grown!! he's learned!! we see him reaffirm multiple times in other events that he's not going to go down the same path he did in SBD - other characters will see him still practicing or about to go for a run or whatever and check in on him and he always tells them he knows better now. because he does! he's not just saying that !!!!

it took him some time to adjust, but he knows vivid bad squad has his back. kotaro has his back. ken-san has his back. ena has his back. hell even arata and tsukasa fucking tenma have his back. he knows he has a support system now ! these are people who want him by their side, and no they're not going to leave him when he stumbles and falls behind; they'll simply pull him back up and they'll just keep moving forward. Together.

and citing kashika as confirmation that he's (still) suicidal is crazy because that's not what the song is about? it's about him reflecting on his past and all the shitty things he went through that caused him to develop that bitter inferiority complex he struggled with for so long. and how he's starting to feel ready to move on from it all. even from haruryo's perspective, in which all the lines about wanting to die are literal, kashika is still a very, very, very positive song !! it's still about moving forward and allowing your love of music (or [insert personal Love of choice here]) to help you through dark times. it's not a song about wanting to kill yourself; it's a song about wanting to live.

idk this all is just super important to me because i am all about stories about growth and healing and recovery. and it's frustrating to glance at the prsk fandom and see people squandering these beautiful stories for... i don't even know what or why 😭

[raayllum]

I don't know how I could cope between-seasons without your tdp analyses; Raay, thank you so much! I was (re)reading your meta section, specifically Articulation of Need. It hit me that, 4x07, Callum finally says "I need you" to Rayla... and it's just devastating. I guess I don't have a question, I just want to reiterate how grateful I am that you've shared your analyses as I've gained so much insight into and appreciation for this show because of you. Thank you.

🥺

Re-reading aAAH gonna pretend I know how to deal with all those compliments eloquently but I'm so glad you're enjoying it still!! Inspiring and spreading appreciation is all I wanna do (as well as emptying my lil meat cage brain so I can think other things) when it comes to posting meta so like!!

Aah thank you so much, that meta was one of my favourites to write (and I actually cried a little at my job at the time over it, constructing it in my head while doing other tasks, lol! Still gets me a little teary now) and like, S4 was Insane for it as an add-on??

TLDR for anyone who doesn't feel like reading the full (2k-3k??) meta but: Rayla's big loving Callum speeches are always about how much she needs him and can't lose him. Callum's big loving Rayla speeches are always about how much he admires/adores her, not expressing that he needs her in the same manner. Rayla always places herself in between him and the threat as much as possible, reinforcing that she doesn't want to lose him. Callum almost always just asks to go with her, indicating that the threat is worth the risk of both of them.

Case in point: Callum has never asked Rayla to stay. In S4, we see this begin to shift in Rayla's direction. She's gone from asking if he'll stay to asking if she can stay.

Even her little mini speech while he's sleeping is all about how special he / they were (are) to her, how much she doesn't want to lose him, how he's the best thing she ever had. Alternatively, Callum is so much more confused; it takes to the end of the season to be able to move past just all the anger and admit that he's "so glad" she's back. But just like in every season prior, Callum shows that he needs her - to not emotionally repress, to not go down a path of darkness - in action rather than in word. And just like every season before, he's surprised that she doesn't know this, because he's surprised that she's leaving (again). To him, how can she not know that he needs her?

But we know that she doesn't, because S4 gets so close - closer than they've ever been before, while ironically simultaneously understanding each more and less than ever before - and then pulls the rug out from under us.

Because in her mind, her parents all left because they didn't need her; Runaan was only taken ('killed') because she was a detriment to the mission: "Five of us won't be enough. We need all six" "We'll be stronger as five." And in Callum's mind (for most of S4, but not by the end, I think) how much could Rayla need him, when she left him behind?

But this is what is most beautiful about their S5 / possession plot line set up. Rayla will be asking for him to stay with her, because she needs him, all over again. And in coming back to her, he'll prove in action (yet again) that he needs her, and maybe even in word, And, through many different options of circumstances that may extend past S5 or past this plot line (although again, I lean toward it being resolved in S5) Callum will reiterate that he needs her - not to kill him, but in order for him to truly feel like he's living.

He will finally ask her to stay, to realize that it needs to be asked and to be willing / brave enough, after everything, to ask it. To ask her to stay. And Rayla will have finally had the development she needs, too, in order to say Yes.

[bunglegaydogs]

listen its another dazai theory im sorry but he occupies my brain and i cant get him to leave

this ones a bit of a fucking mad one today lmao however, i was re-reading the fifteen light novel and i decided to look deeper into a query i'd always harboured towards one specific part of it, and that's the relationship between dazai and the old boss, so yk, let's get into it lmao

First of all, go check out this post:

it's a really good post, and it makes so many good points! Of course, my point does differ, but that doesn't matter, the quality and content of the post is amazing! Go show some love <333

This post ^^^ is the one that low-key kind of inspired me to make this theory. Anyways, onto the actual post lol.

So, the Previous Boss. A character that we know virtually nothing about, other than the fact that he was assassinated by Mori with Dazai as a witness, he was a savage leader and later became bedridden, to which his orders became chaotic and disorganised and ruthless. This is all that we know so far. So, not really much to go on. But that's why this is a theory :)

To be honest, it's a theory that's kind of canon in a way? Eh, anyways.

One of the number one things that stands out to me that makes me go "Ah! They're connected further than just a witness!" is in Fifteen, where this is said; (SPOILERS FOR FIFTEEN LIGHT NOVEL)

A distorted, crimson haze emerged from the other side of the subspace, and a figure appeared. "There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" It was the old boss floating in the air, wearing a traditional, black robe. "Hey there." Dazai smiled stiffly. "It's been a while. How's your back pain? Your complexion is looking nice. Wasn't it a good thing you died? Boss—no, previous boss."

?!

Like, hello? Ahh, it really gets me going fucking feral when Asagiri throws shit like this in. Love you king <3 So, this is clearly like... something, right? I don't know, maybe I am just pure rambling about nonsense this time. I probably don't make a lot of sense, I'm very much quite ill right now and I didn't get to sleep until like 8am, and even when I did I woke up like 3 hours later. I am very much running on fuck all. Anyways!

Let's go more in depth I guess.

"There… There is a nostalgic face. Hey, brat… Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?"

"There... there is a nostalgic face." - Excuse me? Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that when Mori killed him, he was fucking bedridden and probably clinically insane fr. He was not right in the head or the body, and he was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Once again, I'm no expert, but something tells me that he couldn't see Dazai across the fucking room, hiding in the fucking shadows. Fuck, we didn't even see him until the panel of him just... was there. Jumpscare fr. And again, as well as him being pretty hidden and quite a ways away, the Previous Boss was very ill, mans probably had fucking cataracts or something. My point is, there's a diminutive chance that he saw Dazai in the room. Plus, his remaining focus was on Mori, who was also basically obstructing Dazai from view. Suspicious much? Sorry sorry, lmao. Anyways yeah, it's just the "there is a nostalgic face" that gets me.

nostalgia

noun

noun: nostalgia; plural noun: nostalgias

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past."I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days at university"

(ofc nostalgia ain't always good like in this case lmao)

Honestly, one can only assume that Dazai and the previous boss had a connection before all this. The theory that appears to be most prominent is that Dazai is either the "rightful heir" to the Port Mafia and the previous boss' son, or that he was adopted by the previous boss. Both are very interesting theories, and I've looked into them and they have strong evidence tbh. They're pretty plausible :)

However, here's me with my bullshit theories that for some reason derail from what everyone else thinks.

I honestly don't think that he was the previous boss' son, however he very much could be, but I do think he had affiliations with him, whether that be his actual parents were affiliated with the Mafia, someone he knew, other distant family members, etc. However he was involved with the mafia, he was. (I'm not saying he was, I'm saying that any way you can think of would probably work lmao)

My point is that I think that Dazai has already grown up surrounded by this environment of violence and bloodshed and exploitation of others to get what you want. When Mori first meets him, he's already a cunning, enigmatic and manipulative child. Where on fucking earth could he have learned that, if not from the people he grew up with, whoever that may be?

Dazai's past will always be one of my top things to think about, because once we get his past, so fucking much might be revealed and explained, and honestly, I need to know fr. (I'm so sorry but 'Killing in the Name of' just came on and I must say, very fitting-) But yeah, sorry, getting off-track. My theory is that his past somehow links into the old boss somehow. Whether they knew each other for ten years or just one before Mori first met Dazai, I think that they definitely did know each other.

Also, another thing of importance to note is the fact that Dazai is still in a suit when he tries to kill himself and gets sent to Mori. Also, I don't know whether the bandages were because of the suicide attempt, or whether or not they're there from before he even attempted it. Personally, methinks it's the latter, but hey, that's not what we're talking about here. Another thing to mention is the fact that Dazai gets sent to Mori, a shady, underground doctor who's clinic is a neutral zone for any fighting and little wars going on between underground rings and gangs, and because at this point the previous boss was going on his rampage, it was sure to be a neutral ground from the mafia. Now, why was Dazai sent here? I've always theorised on this, but my newest one only just blossomed today lmao. One theory I had is that he was found somewhere by a gang member who took him to Mori because he was just like "Oh, a kid, take him to Mori or something." this one I guess is kind of plausible? More plausible than some others lmao. Another one that I had was that whether it was his family or not, the people he was with did not want any suspicion arising around them should they go to a normal hospital with Dazai or they just know Mori's a shady doctor that'll sort him out quick I guess. Another mad theory I had was that Dazai was raised in an orphanage and they didn't want anyone questioning why a child under their care ended up trying to kill themselves on the grounds of the orphanage, so they took him to Mori. (I have more theories on orphanage Dazai, it's one of the least plausible ones but it actually made a lot of sense when I looked deeper into it)

EITHER WAY, sorry, it's clearly suspicious and seedy that you'd send a 14 year old to an underground doctor who is known for being shady and underhanded. Just saying.

God, this got a bit out of hand. Anyways, the newest theory I had for this was that Dazai was under the "care" of the previous boss and had tried to kill himself, Mori got wind of this and took Dazai as his patient, knowing his relation with the previous boss and saw his opportunity to assassinate him, using the fact that Dazai is an acquanitance of the previous boss to his advantage, and the fact that he's his doctor (the previous boss'). Does this make sense or am I actually mentally unwell and just chatting shit?

Well, whatever lmao. Going more in depth into the little extract from Fifteen; "Are you in good health? Have you been bullied by the doctor?" Now, whatever the fuck this means I guess? I'm going to do a separate post about the second half of what he said, because what the fuck. Lmao, but for now, I'm mainly going to focus on the "Are you in good health?" I feel as if this is him not only mocking Dazai, but himself. Asking Dazai if he's in good health, because he's not because he was assassinated by Mori whilst Dazai watched, and he was bedridden towards the end of his life. And, he's mocking Dazai because just a couple days (weeks, months, idk the timeframe lmao) before he died, Dazai obviously was hospitalised because of his suicide attempt, plus the fact that Dazai is just... unhealthy anyways. He's underweight, covered in bandages, mentally unwell and just doesn't take care of himself and throws himself into dangerous situations and has very self-destructive tendencies, PLUS the fact that (not at 14-17 I'd hope lmao) he also drinks, like, that mf is not in a good state. So, I feel as if it's just taking a jab at that, as well as him holding resentment for being murdered when he was ill. Does that also make sense? Maybe not. Sleep-deprived bullshit, my bad. But, as much as it's him poking fun at the situation and the people involved (also it could be bc yk Mori's a doctor, haha funny joke, yk? lmao) I think it's also quite familiar? Like, you know, you see someone that you know, and ask if they're okay, if they're in good shape, especially if since when you last saw them they're very much not. It honestly should come across as a caring remark, but obviously it's not in this situation.

Lmao anyways, another snippet from Fifteen because holy shit;

The true form of the silver flash that cut Dazai was a long scythe as tall as a human being. The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel… Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand." The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body." "Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

This one got me rabid fr.

Let's go from the start.

The old man holding the handle of the scythe gave a muffled laugh. "Cruel... Truly heartless. The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Right. Right right right. Not only does he laugh after he slices the bitch, what I find interesting is the "Cruel... Truly heartless." Now, he could be referring to a plethora of things, so I'll go ahead and mention a few of them.

One of them could be him calling Dazai cruel and heartless, which is honestly how a lot of people see him and what he does sometimes come across as. He's calling him this because he stood by and watched him get murdered by his doctor, the one who was supposed to be taking care of him. (Again, this is all assuming that he knew Dazai was there, which apparently he did, but how?)

Another thing could be that he's saying it's cruel and heartless that he's having to murder a child. Maybe. But, as we know, he's a ruthless and uncaring man who would not hesitate to fucking deck a kid, so like.

Another thing could be just him being sarcastic about his next sentence, once again mocking and kind of belittling Dazai and making fun of him, because he's in an unfortunate predicament, much like he was.

Now, with a few of those out of the way, moving onto the next sentence which fucks me up.

"The day has come where the kid will be beheaded by this hand."

Now you old on just a fucking minute.

One thing I'd like to say is that typically, a beheading is used as a form of execution. (Also parallells Dazai's betrayal of the Mafia later. Could be me absolutely clutching at straws frantically but I like to make connections and stick to them lol.) And, of course, an execution is a form of punishment for someone betraying or going against any form of law or hierarchy. It's strange to me that he'd use this phrasing. Maybe he's saying this because he feels that Dazai should be punished for not stopping his assassination, and he is to execute him for betraying the Mafia by standing by and watching him die. But Dazai wasn't with the Mafia at this point. Once again returning to my point of their connection and that they knew each other, it could be his way of holding some bitter resentment towards Dazai for betraying him personally, and it's not just revenge he's hoping to get on him. The next bit that also gets me is the "The day has come" as if he's been waiting for this specific day for a while, since before he was assassinated. Gah, it's all so confusing. Also also, the repeated use of the previous boss using words like "kid" and "brat" are also interesting to me. He's really the only one to refer to Dazai that way, bar Chuuya and that one GSS soldier, who was like "The Port Mafia are recruiting kids now?" and of course, Chuuya and Dazai calling each other "brat" "punk" and "kid". It just feels... off, the way the previous boss keeps calling him this. I don't know if he refers to Dazai by his name at all, which could also be a reason as to why maybe they don't know each other at all, because it's of course a plausible line of thinking, as we haven't been given anything that says otherwise. I don't know, it just irks me.

The old boss said with a hoarse voice. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories… You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Also forgot to mention the "hoarse voice" when he's saying that to Dazai. That's a big hmmmmm moment fr. Anyways. This part really is so intriguing to me. "But before that, I'd like to talk about my memories... You're an enemy to me even in this body."

Hm? What was that? This part's really fucking suspicious to me. "I'd like to talk about my memories..." So, clearly, there's something in his memories (PLURAL) that he'd like to discuss with specifically Dazai, something so important that the one thing he's been waiting and itching to do must be put aside for the time being. It's the middle of the battle between the previous boss and Randou and Dazai and Chuuya, like, can it not wait?

Irks me, and the fact that (like I said) it's plural. He doesn't say "there's a memory I'd like to talk about." it's just "Let's talk about my memories" almost as if it's fucking all of them.

Then, the use of the elipsis with the jarring "...You're an enemy to me even in this body." is unsettling. He declares Dazai, a 15 year old, as his enemy. Not only has he made fun of him, slashed him up, threatened to behead him and possibly called him cruel and heartless, but he's now stating that he is his enemy, whether he is a corpse or whether he is alive and well, alive and sick, etc...

It's all around a little bit suspicious, if I do say so myself. The next part, where Randou interrupts and stops him in his tracks, is also highly important.

"Boss. You're no longer a human…" Randou told him gravely. "I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." "Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

(Laughing at the "Randou told him gravely" because he's fucking dead lmao, L)

THIS. THIS. THIS.

"Boss. You're no longer a human..."

SOUND FAMILIAR, YEAH YEAH?

The fact that this specific line was used is just... there's got to be more to it. Why would Asagiri choose to specifically use that? And don't forget when Kunikida also said the same exact thing to Dazai in 55 minutes. (SPOILERS FOR 55 MINUTES)

"The hell are you talking about?! 'Finally managed to die'? You're no longer human! You don't deserve that right! If you really want to die that much, I'll kill you myself! How about this?! And this?! How about from this angle?!"

It just strikes me as odd, the comparisons. Obviously, Dazai's ability being 'No Longer Human', the phrasing Randou used is strange. I don't know. Anyways lol.

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability… You are simply my ability. And your mission is… to take Chuuya-kun's corpse while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe."

"I used a formula to recreate your memories and personality from when you were alive to insert into my ability..." So, as we see here, he is just the same as if he were alive and well. He's not just saying all this shit randomly, he has sound reason behind it and he remembers. He has his memories, emotions, etc. (I also want to know when and how he took the body into his sub-space, that's interesting). I don't know why Randou stops after saying "...while stopping Dazai-kun. With that scythe." I don't know, maybe he's just clarifying lol. Hm.

"Ok, I understand. This soul is a piece of torn paper clinging to your ability. This body is an automatic doll with no interior or self consciousness… But, it's an incredible feeling." The old boss raised the scythe. A black cloth emerged from thin air and wrapped around him… like an old, western grim reaper.

And just like that, he's over it. Lmao.

I like the comparison of the old boss the the Grim Reaper, I think that's really important. Especially considering he got his own throat slit by his evil doctor, but.

I think what's so interesting to me about it is that, as we know, Dazai constantly seeks and craves death. He chases after it non-stop, longing for a life that's not his own, and wishing for that one fateful encounter where maybe, he'll finally be able to die the way he wishes. Whilst other people run from death and are scared shitless by the concept of it as they run from the Grim Reaper, harbinger of their fear itself, Dazai actively seeks it. He runs after the Grim Reaper, praying that this time, maybe, he'll die. But as we know, he hasn't yet succeeded (technically he's succeeded twice lmao.) and he still chases relentlessy after him. So, I feel as if the comparison of the previous boss to "an old, western Grim Reaper" is important to note. Once again, I could just be babbling wham. Also, the way he's about to "kill" Dazai is fairly important. The second he raises his scythe, he becomes clothes and adorned in black cloth, like an executioner swinging his axe. A lot is being alluded to in these passages (passages?) that are repetitive themes throughout.

So, this probably made no sense, but honeslty, I just needed to get my jumbled thoughts out there.

In conclusion, I do believe that Dazai and the previous boss have some sort of connection, and I hope it's brought up again, and it wasn't just a one off or a misinterpretation of the scene. It seems really intriguing to me!

A lot of theories that I have seen include Dazai being "heir" to the Port Mafia and whilst that could be a plausible way of thinking, I just don't think so, but who am I to say?

Yes, he was in the room with the boss when Mori killed him; who's to say Mori didn't just bring him with him and say "He's under my care." or something? Maybe it wouldn't be that easy if the room was heavily guarded, especially because it's the Port Mafia's boss and many people are wanting to assassinate him, but they'd never suspect that his doctor would be up to something shady, and so what if he takes a kid in there with him? What's a 14 year old going to do?

Also, if the chances are that Dazai was "adopted" in a way by the previous boss, of course they'd let him go in with Mori, if they knew who he was.

And also, people saying about how why Mori would kick Dazai out of the Mafia at 18 is also due to the fact that he is indeed the rightful "heir" and he knows it, or something. But honestly, I don't know if that has much to do with it. I don't actually think that Mori expected Dazai to leave the Mafia; I don't think he understood the true impact Oda had on Dazai, because Mori doesn't know who Dazai is really. Dazai is cold, and doesn't show much emotion. However, it was a completely different story with Oda and Ango, and I think Mori didn't truly understand the extent that the fondness between them all went to. I think he wanted to keep Dazai under his thumb, reign him in, make him more obedient. If he could take some rogue compnents out of Dazai's life, it'd give him more reason to be more of a... mindless slave? To the Mafia? There's better phrasing, but do you get what I mean? With Oda's sacrifice, Mori killed about 6 birds with one stone. He got rid of Mimic, he got the permit he needed, he (if we exclude my theory of him trying to make Dazai more controlled) got rid of Dazai who was a threat to his position, he got the upper hand on the Division, etc etc. He really hit the nail on the head with that one move. But, in other aspects, it was indeed the wrong move. He lost a lot because of it. He lost the trust of Dazai as well as Dazai himself, he lost one of the most skilled ability users and a phenomenal assassin, also lost quite a few men along the way, (he already knew this but) he lost Ango, a skilled and resourceful information store (lol), etc. Confusing situation lol.

Anyways, sorry, went on a rant, but my point was that kicking Dazai out of the mafia for being the rightful "heir" wouldn't have done much. Dazai could still assassinate him if he wanted to be the boss. Which is why I think he has some underlying motive for doing what he did. Also, the fact that he seems genuinely dejected and angry when the Guild is fighting with them and he mentions that if Dazai were still here, the Guild would have been no match.

Also, a good point that the post I mentioned made was when Hirotsu mentioned specifically Dazai when talking about understanding Mori's motives, which I think was very interesting.

Now, this could probably be about anything, but it does seem like it's directed towards Mori assassinating the previous boss. It could also mean about sending Chuuya over to his location, kicking him out of the mafia (this is the one I low-key kind of think that he meant), etc. It could be a lot, but seemingly it's either only getting Dazai forced out of the Mafia or the previous boss' death. Interesting points all around and their analysis and theory is so so so good!!!

Anyways, this was a bit longer than I expected it to be, I hope it makes sense! Any questions, please please PLEASE feel free to ask! Because I have a lot more to say about this, but I can't write it unless prompted lmao.

Thank you for reading this far, my love <333

Have a lovely day/night! <333

[lostfracturess]

hi nici! sorry for the late reply, the week has been kinda overwhelming for me. so now for my favourite quotes ig we share a plenty of them 😭😭😭 let's dive in, not in a particular order

"You consume me!" he blurted out, his voice raw. "I had it under control, I was stable until you came into my life! But now, you're all I can think about!" do i even need to say something?

"God, I can't think clearly when I'm around you! I can't sleep without thinking about you! All there is is the need to be near you, and nothing ever compares to that." oh my fucking god i don't know what i would do if gojo satoru had said it to me (technically he's saying this to me BUT…). i just love men so pathetic they even can't think straight when they near their s/o

wait wait i was re reading and this quote….consider this is a lyrical digression "Stop it, Satoru! You have no right to care about me. I don't want you to care about me! Now let me go!"

You could see the hurt in his eyes at your words. But he released your wrist. "Please, don't do this to me," he murmured, almost pleading.

"Like you forced me to do that surgery?" Your words felt like blades in your throat.

"I'll always be there when you need me." well in the context of the last chapter it doesn't fell right a lyrical digression again i just can't imagine what he felt at that moment "I know. But I don't care. I can't…I need you."

"Then I'll take care of you." that's what i've been talking about 😞😞😞

"I'm just relieved that you're safe. The mere thought of you being in danger…" He trailed off, his hands clenching into fists.

Suddenly, his body shook. He turned away, gripping the counter tightly, his knuckles whitening with the strain. "If I ever get my hands on that guy—" he can't even bear the thought of her being hurt (and then unintentionally hurts her..)

"So don't tell me I'm selfish, when I'd do anything for you." should i explain?

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice a velvety caress against your skin. "If my breath alone made you quiver, can you imagine what my tongue will do to you?" not just this quote, but this entire scene. tears rolled down my thigh.

"Stop it, sweetheart, please," he pleaded softly. "I'm here, and I'll always be here. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. But I'm here. Every step of the way. We'll get through this together." it's the way he says "i'm here" every time trying to reassure her….i am going insane

His focus sharpened slightly, and he murmured, "God, you look so beautiful today." when the first thing he says when focused is how beautiful she is…takes me every.single.time.

"Wanting you—every damn second of every fucking day. I don't think I can take it anymore." the entire rain scene has me on chokehold, i feel like my heart's been ripped out of my chest and thrown at the floor, it's THIS emotional

"And in that fleeting moment, you knew one thing for sure: This man would either be your forever or your ultimate downfall." she's so right for this

"What, is the thought of you marrying me so absurd?"

"Kind of, yes."

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that," he replied, undeterred.

"Are you serious?" casually asking her and dropping the intention to marry her, then asking her to move in while fucking…classical gojo.

"You know," I began, the words barely a whisper. "I'd do anything for you."

Her hand tightened in mine. "And I'd anything for you." ACTUALLY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH 😭😭😭

"Even if she looks at me in pity, I wish she would never stop looking at me". ofc he said said, such a simp

Satoru simply watched you for a moment, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. "Shame I have to get clean, you look so pretty like that." this is just so hot….

"You don't need to deserve me, Satoru. Love isn't about deserving. It's about choosing each other, again and again, no matter what. And I choose you." the last but not least, THIS. crying screaming throwing up, i've been thinking about this for quite a long time now actually…on your question about y/n: yeah. i agree with you. actually i've seen authors here talking about that, just how they put some details of them into the reader persona. and i guess it's really nice, it leaves the room for us to connect to y/n, but simultaneously they're not a pure canvas. and i think it takes a ton of time and effort to portray a y/n in a nice way. have a nice day and waiting for the new chapter (already want to punch gojo as usual..)

no worries at all, totally understand how weeks can get overwhelming. take care of yourself!! and honestly, the fact that we share so many favorite quotes makes me so happy!! love that certain lines resonate deeply with readers and linger long after ♡

i completely agree on your insights about y/n!! finding that balance between giving a character substance and leaving room for reader connection is really a super delicate balancing act.

thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts!! but why you want to punch gojo?? 😂😂

[animentality]

Hi! I read your book and I enjoyed it thoroughly and I can't wait for the next installment cause I'm curious where you're going to take things and also your way of writing is very unique and I'd love to experience it again!

Also "Happy moments with unhappy people" lives rent free in my head now thank you

Also the way you wrote the flashbacks made it my favorite part of the book and I ended up looking forward to the next one about halfway through and I'm obsessed with Rey specifically like I know he literally says he only has the fact that he's hot going for him but hot enough to get THAT many people utterly obsessed with him? I need to have words with him his game is INSANE

Also also also I found your style a little weird AT FIRST, but then once I got used to it the flow was perfect and I got literally possessed by the book until I finished it and the flashback with Anaheim hit me like a goddamn freight train

Like Rey is this little sunshine outwardly but sombre and mature in his relationships and that was already a gut punch but then Anaheim happened and everything just suddenly clicked. Like Rey became so human to me that now I every time I think about him I get a pit in my stomach (/extremely positive)

I am a little insane for your book thank you so much for writing it and I'll be re-reading it very soon and I hope I get absolutely destroyed the second time through <3

(I think Rey's charms were so powerful even through a phone screen he's making me read the book again <3)

(Also genuinely last note I'm sorry I'm unwell for your book but the world/city had impeccable vibes and I felt a longing after I finished reading, like I wanted to be in the world a little longer and I cannot think of a higher compliment for your worldbuilding)

I love your book <3!!!

;-;

Never apologize for feeling unwell for my book, I am grinning irl like a madman after reading this ask.

This is the best ask I've ever gotten for 7 deadly habits, congrats.

This is what I write for. Asks like these...you're too kind.

I'm so glad you liked it.

I'm so glad you understand Rey so well.

I'm so glad you came around to my weirder writing style. I know it's a bit of an adjustment for most people, but I'm glad you found its rhythm and now you get it.

Totally would've been ok if you didn't though, because I know it's a lot.

But ahhhhhh.

Your love for Rey...you get him!

He really is vivacious and lively and charming...except when he's not.

That little pun about how he's a ray of sunshine...and it's true. However.

It's also just a front.

The greater depth of his character comes from pain.

He is someone who has hurt a lot of people and been hurt badly.

And bravely carrying on...well, is it brave, if he simply can't face the truth?

If he has to hold it inside and keep himself together with cracked armor, this thing veneer of the person he used to be, back before he you know. Spoilered.

I'm so glad you appreciated him.

Some people don't get him.

But you've understood the assignment!!

And I just love flashbacks. They're my weakness and they're absolutely overindulgent but I can't help it. I love them too much.

I'm so glad you understood them. You liked them.

I always try to make them as evocative and lonely and somber and sometimes, rarely, too good to be true.

Memory is like that, you know. You remember things better than they were.

You have to, in order to survive...

Anyway, I'm gonna print out this ask and frame it.

You did it. You got me ready to tackle 7 deadly habits 2 again.

I'm ready to finish editing it and have it out by August.

I'm going to, goddamnit. Even if it's just for one person in the entire world...it's worth it.

Thank you so much for this ask ;-;

7 deadly habits means the world to me and then this ask hit me in the chest with a sledgehammer.

The asks that keep me writing novels...in the dark times, when I feel like I'm writing for no one...

Thank you for taking time out of your day to write this. I'll think about this ask for years.

[thegeminisage]

i'm 'tell me what it was like in 2014' anon and can i just say. i am so honored by the time and care you put into that answer. WOW. it was such a delight to read and kind of vicariously experience. i'm 18 now so i was 9 when winter soldier came out, needless to say it was not really on my radar. But i've always been interested in those kind of golden tumblr age fandoms (doing destiel from 2020-2022 was like. the best experience of my lifeeee) and even like in middle school i was scrolling through pinterest screenshots of avengers incorrect quotes etc. that creative generativeness and collective celebration seems like. such a utopia honestly. what you described, and the cultural context of it being the mid 2010s and how media and politics and the internet wereback then seems so perfectly aligned. i'm happy you got to experience something so special! re: not easily conquered. i read it a few years ago just because of how renowned it was and. well you KNOW. and anyway the crazy fucking whiplash i got from realizing the supernatural blogger i followed later was EMILY??. the fandom's interest in history and culture is also especially beautiful to me. i will literally never see the winged victory the same way again. ik people always say fics written 2012-2015 have crack in them but stucky was on another level. people were doing literal highbrow analysis and art..that banana fic. i have i love you like rlb saved on my notes app from like 2018 when i was in middle school. the dedication and like crazy amount of work that went into the fandom is just out of this world to me. like i'd give my soul to be there honestly.. you just dont get things like that anymore. again thank you so so much for your wonderful long answer, and like honestly. if i ever pursue some project on fandom history i might ask to interview you or sth. but anyway, suffice it to say: i really really wish i could have gotten to see it first hand, but thank goodness i can still go back and read fic and look at fanart and. thank you it's been long long time by helen forrest. and i''m so glad people who were active online then are still on tumblr to talk about it all

hi sorry it took me a minute to reply i was doing accursed ten year rewatch of Movie. i have an extended reply.

you should listen to this...someone sent this to my friend and it unlocked memories i didn't knew i had

much like rlb, which was insane of you to remember, because i sure didn't. dropped that on the groupchat earlier and got to gleefully watch the horror of memories unlocked unfold on their faces

also so true about destiel tumblr. sustained madness. i romanticized stucky tumblr a little in my answer bc of nostalgia like i wasn't also making mortal enemies at the same time (i sometimes spot the urls of people who made me mad back then and have a ratatouille flashback) i was making those lifelong friends BUT you're not missing anything major bc the destiel madness FAR exceeded the stucky madness. there was just so much more mania to it.

when i was in high school i had the enduring desire to have been born in the 60s so i could be a hippie full time. i thought their clothes and anti-establishment attitudes were groovy. i feel like this is you about mid-2010s tumblr and i absolutely love that for you.

that said, you may not get movies like cap2 anymore but you will certainly get fandoms like it...i recently got into trek and reading spockanalia and all their vintage fic from the 60s and 70s and 80s and seeing in some ways how spock shock is so similar to destiel madness (and THEY didn't even have the internet) has taught me that the girlies gender neutral have been out here and primed to go insane from day one and that as long as there are mentally ill teens and 20-somethings who like media there will always be people who go insane about the media. they will grow into the 30-somethings and 40-somethings and higher that write the good fic and sell the smutty fanzines under the tables at cons. there will never be another tos or cap2 or nov 5 but certainly there will always be SOMETHING to go joyfully nuts about on the internet. the tricky part is just finding ur people

[katierosefun]

📚

thank you for the ask, anon! // from these asks

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

god, so many! i will admit that like. i do not read as much fanfic as i write it, especially these days, so my list of recommendations by no means captures every single amazing fanfic writer / fanfic there is out there in whatever fandom i'm about to list, but some fics that have been living rent-free in my brains these days have been:

gift horse dentistry by RC_McLacklan (beyond evil: hilarious writing, i literally hadn't laughed so hard at a fic in a really, really long time)

if every house is haunted by pale_and_tragic (beyond evil: the way i literally started crying like. twice. it also awakened something in me i think, because i think i started crying while writing out my comment for the author lmao)

all is well (in this blighted world) by fadeinwinter (beyond evil: ie. perhaps one of the most zombie apocalypse fics ever in that god god god god god god god finding love again at the end of the world jesus christ)

to the stars by merryofsoul (beyond evil: the star trek and beyond evil crossover that i think might have honestly been the fic that re-triggered my love for star trek because. jesus christ the way i am obsessed with science officer han joo won grouching about dong sik even on a spaceship. and also, typical star trek shenanigans but with the beyond evil crew is just. so fun. put those men in situations! put those men in situations that originated from perhaps one of the gayest franchises of all time!)

such a wonderful life by @b1uetrees (beyond evil: god can you see a pattern. i swear i read other fics. but like. beyond evil but now add in a dash of it's a wonderful life magic. this one moved me a lot just because maybe i love dong sik and i love dong sik being told his life is significant or whatever!!!)

i remember who i am when i'm with you by @electricalkittens (beyond evil: nur i am so sorry i haven't commented yet i read it and then said that i was gonna comment and then haven't done it but i swear i'm gonna leave a comment so u know the full scope of my appreciation for this fic but like anyways, yet another one of my faves right now because ohhh i'm always a sucker for joo won finding his way back to dong sik and dong sik wanting joo won to stay but none of them know how to quite communicate that yet and anyways!!! so normal)

pas de deux by @fireinmywoods, although you would need to read palimpest first, which is perhaps one of the most. genius fics that i have ever read. i mean it. (star trek, aos: just like. i dunno! i'm sort of obsessed with this fic especially, just because i think it! unlocks! something insane in me!)

rhapsody in blue by @kckenobi (star wars: the clone wars: i am. only a few chapters in this fic but i would be remiss if i didn't mention this one because a) i will always adore kasey's writing and find a way to mention her writing, even if i don't actively read as much star wars stories these days, and b) it's literally been so long since i've read an au where it's very clear that someone is so passionate about the exact setting they're writing about, and it's just something i thoroughly enjoying seeing in any story, and c) i mean? suspense + family trauma? sign me up.

i could. honestly go on forever about fic writers and fics that i would recommend, but. for the sake of length + also time, i'll leave this list here! and my bookmarks page is actually. substantial these days, so anything that i've bookmarked is almost always an indication that i recommend it.