#drew tanaka appreciation

[a-french-coconut]

Drew Tanaka (part 1)

I've already posted some extracts but I wanted to keep writing the fic here (:

A first punch leaves the mirror shattered and her fist bloodied.

There’s a traitor. 

An another one sends flying all the beauty products standing on the shelves of Cabin 10’s bathroom. 

“-Oh my gods, honey, are you crying ? What happened ? 

-Charlie is— oh Drew I… it’s all my fault but he told me he—

-Silena, what happened to Beckendorf ? 

-HE’S DEAD DREW ! He… he blew himself up to sabotage Luke’s armies because someone told him they were coming ! Oh no, hum, forget I said anything sweetheart, okay ? The counsellors are supposed to keep it secret ‘cause we wouldn’t want to cause a panic right ? Hey, Drew ? Are you listening to me ? You can’t tell anyone about this you hear me ?” 

A third punch lands on the wall, bruising severely Drew’s knuckles but the pain is better than what’s she’s been feeling since Silena slipped up. 

There’s a traitor, there’s a fucking traitor who wants them all dead, they killed Beckendorf, they probably killed Lee and Castor and they will kill everyone else if Drew doesn’t find who it is. 

There’s a scorching inferno in her heart. She never suspected she could hate someone she doesn’t know with such passion (oh buy you know them don’t you ? Odds are the traitor already talked with you, laughed with you, trained with you.).

Before she can break her hand landing a fourth punch, someone knock on the door and ask if everything is all right. 

“No” she wants to snarl back, “we are all going to die because of some heartless monster !” 

Instead she just responds with a sharp “everything’s fine, coming out is a few minutes. Can’t a girl finish her makeup in peace for gods’ sake ?”. She hears an offended huff and she knows she’s alone again. 

No matter what other people think, Drew Tanaka is nor heartless nor a bitch. She might lack some basic empathy skills but last time she checks, she’s not responsible for everyone’s feelings just because she’s the daughter of the goddess of Love. Plus, Silena is empathic enough for the both of them. Except that she’s been a mess of tears and chocolate for the last two days and just like that, pure white-hot rage burns from her heart to her veins, a firestorm blazing in her blood and igniting her whole body aflame. 

Drew cares about Silena. She’s the one who welcomed her with a warm smile and chocolate gifted by her father. She’s the one laughed with as she told her stories about Sasha and the one who held her after she saw his headless body on the ground during the Battle of the Labyrinth. She’s the one she yelled at for thinking herself above the Rite of Passage and continuing dating Charles Beckendorf when Drew had to break the heart of his best friend only for him to die two weeks later. Silena is the sister Drew loves and adores, all resentment and bitterness melted away by those blue eyes and kind smile. That means that the bastard who got her boyfriend’s sister killed is going to pay for what he did. 

For Drew is the daughter of Aphrodite Areia, the warlike goddess. 

Every monster and demigod who dare venture in the Midtown Tunnel is shot down by Drew and her siblings. Her arms ache from stringing her bow far too many times and the occasional stab for those getting a little too closer. Love is as compassionate as it is merciless and Drew has no qualms in slitting an enemy’s throat (they will join the other ghosts in her nightmares), not when she hears Silena’s mourning cries in her ears. She wonders where her older sister is right now. The girl disappeared hours ago, going back to Camp to convince Clarisse to come fight with them. She’s sure her sister managed to convince her, the stubborn daughter of war loves Silena as much as she does. She is proven right when she hears whispers of the girl warrior dragging a drakon behind her (she does not know of the blue-eyed girl whose face has been deformed by acid, a silver charm bracelet found on her arm).

The moon slowly bows to the sun as she disappears and the sky turns a bright summer blue. The fight is over for now, the only moment of peace found in death because no one would dare attack when each side recovers their friends and siblings’ corpses from the battleground (not when they could be the next body lying on the ground), ensuring them proper funeral rites. 

part 2 posted !

[goldrushenthusiast]

I love Rick Riordan. Do you have a disability? There’s probably a character for that. Are you a minority and/or lgbtq? There’s definitely a character for that. Sure, maybe it’s not all 100% accurate, but he’s TRYING and that means so, so much.

[ace-writer-lani]

Works

Hi I'm Lani! I go by she/they. Sometimes I draw, but I mainly write fanfics. (I've recently gotten back into writing PJO fics).

Anyways, I'll be linking all of my finished/WIP ao3 works here as well as some future fics I have planned.

My asks are always open if you want to ask questions about my fics or if you just want to say hi! (I'm always down to ramble about all the character lore I have stored in my notes).

Current WIPs:

-The Blooming from Darkness series (My son of Persephone Nico AU)

Part one: One Death One Bloom (completed; 14.6k) Pre-Lotus Hotel & Casino Part two: Hidden Seeds (completed; 9.5k) In the Lotus Hotel & Casino Part three: The Children of Spring and Destruction (WIP; 19.7k) Titan's Curse -> HoO

-Violence: The Question (A Series) (WIP)

A fic centering around Reyna pre-canon/pre-TLH

-A Final Revelation (WIP; 3.3k)

Based on this post where Jason is stuck as a ghost in the living world and can't enter the Underworld until he resolves his Unfinished Business: confessing his feelings to Leo

-The Undeserved and Unfinished (WIP)

Coming soon

-The Languages of Love by Solangelo series

The Love Language of Lying (completed; 9.9k)

Solangelo fic based on this post

The Love Language of Fighting (completed; 1.1k)

Will spars against Nico

The Love Language of Gifts (WIP; 2k)

Solangelo 5+1 fic based on this post

-The Sparks of Fire (Valgrace) series

Engines and Explosions (completed; 1.1k)

Valgrace oneshot based on this post

Kitchens and Kisses (completed; 2k)

Leo somewhat tries to teach Jason to bake

-2024 Solangelo Week

The Love Language of Fighting (completed; 1.1k)

Prompt: Free Day

-Notes of Change (WIP; 13.3k)

This is my small Solangelo post BoO fic

Completed Fics:

-Only know for sure that I'm all yours (forever) (1.4k)

Solangelo proposal fic based on this post

Some of the common tags I sort my posts by:

[ripcarrotchan]

[raphael-angele]

If Bianca met this character Part 5: Drew Tanaka

Backstory/headcanon: Drew and Lee are dating. Bianca and Lee are best friends.

In the infirmary:

Drew: Hey

Lee: Drew, hi. What are you doing here?

Drew: Wanted to visit. What are you up to?

Lee: Not much. Just the usu-

Bianca, coming in: Lee, hey

Lee: Bianca, hey. Oh, Nico is playing with Will in the back. Lemme go get them *leaves*

Drew: di Angelo

Bianca: Tanaka

Drew: You know for someone who's named di Angelo, you're not very angelic

Bianca: And for an Aphrodite kid, you certainly take after your mother

Drew: Well-

Bianca: That wasn't really a compliment

---

Random camper: Hey, don't see you around here a lot

Bianca: I'm a hunter

Camper: Well then how 'bout we turn the tables? You run, I hunt you down and we'll see what happens?

Bianca: Not interested.

Camper: C'mon, you know-

Drew: She said she's not interested fuckface. Move on!

Canper: Psh whatever

Bianca: ...thank you

Drew: No problem. I can sense men's intentions from a mile away.

Bianca: ...well I appreciate it very much.

Drew: Well, what kind of guy would be attracted to the likes of you?

Bianca: There she is.

---

Drew: I said get the fuck away from me, you creep!

Random guy: Oh c'mon. Just give me a chance. I bet you'll like it. If I just touch your- AAAAJTDHODtIduoykddpuf *faints*

Bianca: *holding a taser*

Drew:

Bianca: I thought that you, of all people would own a taser.

Drew: Ugh, news flash. I don't

Bianca: Well, I have an extra in case someone needed it. Looks like I have to waste it on you *gives taser*

Drew: ...Thank you. This is very helpful

Bianca: What kind of girl doesn't own a taser?

---

During a head counselors meeting:

Bianca: Bitch, do you want me to jump across this table? Cuz I don't have all day for this, okay?!?!

Drew: Aw, feeling froggy? Leap

Bianca, getting on the table: Alright, well, here I come-

Lee: Hey, don't-

Chiron: Ms. di Angelo-

Travis: Don't stop them

Percy: Bianca! Bianca! No! Down, girl!

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

Drew Tanaka headcanons bc I'm going insane over them

She's from Hokkaido in Japan

Her full name is Sayuri Tanaka, Drew is merely the name she chose when moving from Japan to the US bc the Americans couldn't pronounce Sayuri right and it got on her nerves, later it irritated her that she couldn't get her chosen name pronunciation right

She's ainu and bc of it she'd get bullied in school in Japan

Her dad (like Piper's) moved from the more indigenous area to a more urban but still made sure Drew knew and appreciated her heritage

He made knives and blades in general, once he made a katana and she was so obsessed with it

Moved to the US for financial reasons rather than demigod reasons

She got on a fancy private school with athlete scholarship for having two gold medals in kendo

Spoke a very poor English and that made it hard for her to make friends besides one boy in her class who God knows why spoke japanese: Connor Stoll, and consequentially his brother, Travis

Aroace spectrum, probably a lesboromantic

Her satyr took her and the siblings Stoll to the camp when she was 11

When she arrived the camp she was reluctant to befriend anyone, specially because, since she had just immigrated, she was afraid people would find her weird

She was the kind of child of Aphrodite who might look like a kid of a god of beauty but has the personality of a child of a god of war: Aphrodite Areia. She'd come after anyone who messed with her and has a really bad temper, sometimes even compared to Clarisse

After Silena's betrayed she was deeply hurt since she admired Silena so much, that's why she was so bitter to everyone after the war

Despite being hurt from her sister's betrayal she still tried to be a good conselour and sister, making sure the younger campers, specially Lacy, were okay and trying to lighten the grief

Drew was never on a good financial position, mainly because her father's job didn't have much clientele, so she started working at fast food restaurants when she was a teenager

Despite being poor, she always tried to look good, it was her way of coping from all the bad stuff she went through. Because of it she learned how to sew.

She disliked Piper not because she reminded her of Silena but because, at first sight, Piper reminded her of herself, but without most shit she had to go through. Piper was also indigenous, at a fist look she seemed poor, she was a demigodess etc. But she didn't go to the war, she hadn't had her friends die all at once, she didn't meet Silena.

After Drew found out who was Piper's father she only got more pissed; that girl, who had everything she always wanted, who never had to sleep wondering if on the next day she would still have a house to live in, who never had to worry how her father would be without her on his side to SPEAK for him because he didn't know English. Yet she romanticized all that Drew hated in her own life.

After Mitchell cleared up what was going on between the two to the other, Piper and Drew started getting along, but Drew never really got over Piper's style choice, not because it wasn't pretty but because that looked close to what she wore when she was on her worst financially when Piper could afford any kind of luxury brand

Idk I just really love the idea of her being ainu

[poppitron360]

I know that I have to, at some point, post my Leo Villain Arc AU.

Currently I am in a perpetual state of “Lemme just proofread it one more time-“ But if I don’t post it now, it will never get posted. I’ve been working on this off and on for about a month.

Summary: Takes place after the events of TLH- Leo deals with the aftermath of revealing his powers to the camp. In a confrontation with a few other campers, he finally lashes out and they get a little more than their comeuppance. Frightened by his own abilities, Leo runs away from camp, and Jason and Piper have to find him and stop him before he hurts anyone else- by any means necessary. When the time comes, Jason can’t bring himself to hurt Leo, and he pays the price. Piper has to then finish the job.

Please ignore any plotholes- I wrote it for the angst not the story.

Cw: Talk of suicide, talk of abuse, depictions of self-harm, major character death, blood, swearing, bullying, just all-round nasty stuff- I didn’t hold back on this one.

Word Count: 8,043!!! (Eight chapters in total, but not of equal length)

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

Leo has a villain arc AU (Dark! Leo)

I- Leo

Leo was avoiding people.

Okay, so he wasn’t avoiding all people. Jason ate lunch with him on the stands of the Chariot Tracks as they looked out across the springtime trees beyond. No. He was avoiding the other campers. He couldn’t deal with the weird looks they gave him when he ate at the dining pavilion. It had taken a lot of courage to reveal his powers to the others in Cabin 9, his siblings had been mostly cool with it, if a little weirded-out, but the other campers had been less accepting. Nobody had said anything to him yet, but he knew they were all thinking it. He was a freak.

“So, Piper’s been putting her hair up more as the weather’s getting hotter,” Jason said. Leo was only half-listening, but he nodded between bites of his burrito. He appreciated Jason’s company, and he understood that Piper was a big part of his life, but the constant girlfriend talk made him nauseous. Still, it was better than talking about monsters or Gaia or the impending Apocalypse.

Jason faltered, and the conversation stopped when Leo heard the familiar drooling voice and signature vocal fry of Drew Tanaka and two of her cronies. Leo hated that girl. She was less of a threat now that Piper had taken control of the Aphrodite cabin, but she was still a bitter and sneering bitch. Piper had been too nice. If Leo had his way, he would’ve taken a leaf out of the Heathers book and just put Drain Cleaner in Drew’s Hangover Cure.

Jason scowled at Drew as she walked out onto the course. Leo tried his best to shrink behind the terraced seating in front of them, hoping she hadn’t noticed him. But of course, she had. Her two minions sneered at him, baring their perfectly white teeth.

“Well, well, well,” Drew drooled, placing a manicured hand on the railing and advancing up the steps of the bleachers. Her cronies flanked her, one on each side, like an attack formation, “If it isn’t the arsonist.”

Leo’s stomach dropped. Jason snarled in his terrifying raised-by-wolves way. Drew’s friends snickered, but Drew kept her eyes locked on Leo.

“Why aren’t you eating lunch with the rest of the camp, huh? Is it because you know nobody wants you there? Even your dirty little siblings know you’re a freak. I mean, I thought I’d seen the worst of those filthy little Hephaestus kids, but this…” she looked down at him with her piercing eyes, “this is a new low.”

Leo scrambled out of his seat. Drew smirked, like his anger was amusing. Maybe it was, considering how he was at least two inches shorter than her. She backed away, slowly but confidently, as Leo advanced.

“Face it, freak,” She said, “You belong in Tartarus with all the other monsters.”

Leo’s hands balled up into fists. Jason tried to grab his wrist, but then yelped in pain and pulled back. Leo’s skin glowed white hot.

“Leo, stop it,” Jason pleaded, “Don’t listen to her, she’s trying to provoke you.”

Drew was still walking backwards down the aisle of the bleachers, smiling. Leo kept advancing, his body was smoking. His fists caught fire.

“Oooh, fire boy’s getting feisty,” She was walking quicker now, “I’ve done some research on your name, I have my ways of finding things out, y’know. And I uncovered a little secret of yours. Something you failed to mention to your siblings when you told them about your powers?”

Leo’s whole body was aflame now. Drew cackled.

“What are you gonna do, kill me?” Her back was pressed up against the wall of the stadium, an amused glint in her eye, “Just like you killed your-“

And the world erupted in flames.

II- Piper

The first thing Piper had registered was two of her siblings running scared out of the Chariot Stands, yelling something about a fire. Then she had heard the screaming.

She’d rushed in, shaking her can of hairspray that transformed into a fire extinguisher (a gift from Leo). What she saw filled her with fear and dread.

Drew was on the floor, backed up against a wall, shielding her face with her arm. Leo stood in front of her, surrounded by flames. His eyes were deep and dark and maniacal, his hands clenched tightly into fists. He was advancing slowly towards her, Jason stood helpless just out of reach of the flames, pleading with him to stop. Drew was screaming. Piper aimed her fire extinguisher at the scene and sprayed. Foam went everywhere, smothering the flames. When she was done, the bleachers of the racecourse were blackened and smoking, the chairs around her charred.

“Leo, what have you done?” Piper whispered, staring at him in horror.

“My face!” Drew cried, clutching the left side of her face, “He tried to fucking kill me!! My beautiful face!!”

Piper scowled at Drew, and then turned back to Leo. For a second, she caught a spark of pure hatred in his eyes, but then they welled with tears. At the sight of the shocked expression on her face, he seemed to realise what he’d done. His face contorted in remorse, and he tried to take a step towards her, but she felt herself flinch and back away in fear.

“Piper, I…”

Suddenly, the sound of voices made their heads turn. Chiron, and the other campers, led by Drew’s two cronies, were marching into the stands.

Piper turned to Leo.

“Go,” She commanded. There was no gentleness or sympathy in her voice, just a stern coldness, “Run. Now.”

And he did.

“Stop him!” One of the campers called, and began to chase after him, but Jason stood in their way, he kept his ice-blue eyes on Chiron, as if daring the centaur to scold him.

“He’s getting away!” The camper protested. Jason didn’t move.

“Let him go,” Chiron instructed, “Let us focus on repairing the damages.”

They took Drew to the infirmary. She was alive, you could tell by the wailing, but her face was badly scarred. Chiron held Jason, Piper, and Drew’s two friends back to ask them what happened.

“Me and Leo were eating lunch in the stands when Drew came up to us and started insulting Leo,” Jason explained. As he talked, he never broke eye contact with Chiron, giving him an aura of confidence, “The things she was saying- it was like she wanted him to flip out. She was trying to get a reaction out of him.”

“That’s not true!” One of Drew’s friends, Chloe, complained, “Drew just wanted to talk to the boy, when all of a sudden he started throwing fireballs at her face.”

Chiron turned to Piper, “And what did you see?”

“I only came in after Drew was attacked,” Piper explained, “But Leo wouldn’t just explode like that. He’s not a monster. Drew was probably using charm-speak on him to make him attack her- that way she could use it as leverage to turn the camp against us.”

“That’s an unfounded accusation,” Chiron said, “But I’ll admit, I am rather sceptical that Mr Valdez would attack her unprovoked. Jason, what was it she said to him?”

“She called him a monster, and said he belonged in Tartarus,” Jason said, “Then she… brought up the death of his mom.”

“That Valdez boy killed his own mother in a fire and then ran away!” Chloe said, “Drew was concerned at his failure to inform his siblings about that-“

“Because it’s a personal thing!” Jason yelled, “You shouldn’t expect him to give detailed outlines of all the traumatic things that ever happened to him!”

“I’m sorry for not feeling safe with a murderer around!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!” Electricity crackled around Jason. Piper wondered if he’d gotten taller somehow, but then she looked at his feet and noticed he was levitating a few inches off the ground.

“We should track him down and make him pay for his crimes!” Drew’s other lackey suggested. Chloe nodded in agreement.

Jason glowered at them, lightning crackling some more.

“You’re right,” Chiron said.

“What?” Piper and Jason protested in unison.

“It’s not safe to have a powerful Pyrokinetic demigod out on his own, afraid and dangerous,” he explained, “For Leo’s own safety, we need to bring him back to camp.”

“We volunteer,” Chloe said.

“No,” Jason replied, ““After the way Drew treated him, I don’t blame him for running away. And frankly, I don’t think it is necessarily safer for him to be in a place that would shun him instead of teaching him how to actually control his powers,” he stared at Chiron, but he took Piper’s hand and squeezed it.

“But Chiron’s right. Leo’s afraid. If he sees you two coming, it’ll scare him away, which will only make things worse… But he trusts us. And we know him better than anyone. If anyone’s finding him, it’s me and Piper.”

III- Leo

Leo had lost control.

Dangerous. A freak. A monster that belonged in Tartarus. That was what Drew had called him. And she was right- he’d proven that much. He’d flipped out and almost killed her because he couldn’t do a little anger management. He remembered the terrified faces of Jason and Piper. His best friends had looked at him like he was unrecognisable. They had been afraid of him. Piper hadn’t told him to run out of the goodness of her heart, but as a warning. She was letting him scarper instead of face the consequences of what he’d done. Chiron and the other campers wouldn’t be so merciful.

Of course he had run. He always did. He always will. He had thought Camp Half-Blood might be different, but he’d ruined it like he had in all the foster homes, schools, even with his own family. He will never not be running.

He stared down at the valley beneath him. Camp half-blood gleamed in the spring sun. Next to him, a cliff ran along the edge of the Long Island Sound.

Gods, it would be safer for everyone if he just jumped.

He hadn’t had thoughts like that in a while, not since he was a kid. But he approached the edge of the cliff and looked down. The tide was out. He imagined his tiny body slamming against those jagged rocks, the waves coming in and carrying him away. He could be at peace. And everyone he loved would be safe from him.

No. He couldn’t think like that. He had to keep moving.

He’d kept an emergency backpack in Bunker 9 in case he needed to split. He’d been hopeful he didn’t need it, but obviously he had been wrong. He took it off his shoulder, and double-checked its contents. Inside, he had a spare change of clothes, a refillable water bottle, some cereal bars, a blanket, a map of New York, five dollars in cash, and his second-favourite screwdriver. If there was anything he didn’t have, his tool-belt would provide.

He made the trek halfway to Queens, before it started to get dark and he decided to hitch-hike. He was hesitant to at first- he wasn’t exactly in a position to interact with people- but he needed to get into the city before nightfall. He tried his best not to get carsick as the driver drove down winding outer-city roads.

Sitting alone in the back of a stranger’s car gave him time to think. His whole life, he’d been manipulated by the Gods. By Hera and by Gaia- trying to shape him into the perfect chess-piece for their stupid game, moving him around, bending him into the right piece for 20 moves in the future, toppling over all the other pawns at once. Okay, maybe Leo didn’t really know the rules of chess. But his mom had died as a result of the Gaia’s meddling, in conjunction with the narrative he was being forced into by an ancient being, planning around his future. Was he expected just to sit here and let her?

He’d always tried to do the right thing, never lose control, never get angry. When people gave Leo shit, he was supposed to just take it on the chin and bear it, because if he lashed out-

Well, he didn’t wish the fate of his mother on anyone, not even Drew Tanaka.

But Gods, it had felt so freeing to not have to keep it in anymore. To let it go.

Leo looked at his hands. He could do it again…

No. He couldn’t. But still, something had changed inside. And that terrified him. What scared him the most was how much he’d… enjoyed it. It was exhilarating. He’d fought back, defended himself, proved himself not to be messed with. He’d felt powerful. So powerful, even Jason had been afraid of him. Leo had to admit, the thought made his skin tingle with a strange feeling- not quite pride, exactly, but close.

Leo looked out at the bustling city streets of NYC. His goal had been to get away from Camp Half-Blood. But now, where would he go? This was the first time he’d ran away actually knowing who he was. He wasn’t just a scared little boy anymore, he was powerful. And he had a taste for revenge.

IV- Jason

This wasn’t a quest, Jason had decided. Quests were noble and brave. No. Finding Leo was a wild goose chase.

That kid had experience in running away.

“He’d probably go somewhere where he’d feel safe. Where is safe in New York?” Piper asked.

“Maybe a workshop? Or… scrapyard? Somewhere with machines?” Jason suggested.

“Think. This isn’t the first time he’s run away. Where has he been in the past?”

Neither of them had an answer. Leo really never talked about his time on the run. He’d mentioned a few things, sleeping in a sewer, hiding in alleyways to avoid the cops, eating out of dumpsters. Grim stuff. It had always shocked Jason how much he’d been through.

The Hermes cabin had been their best bet for advice on missing demigods. Travellers. They had told him every possible route into the city, the best places to go to hide. Scrapyards had been a good idea, they’d said. Lots of old cars to steal, things to make. And, for a massively overpowered son of Hephaestus, a lot of fun toys to play with. That was their best bet.

Jason got out a map and circled all the possible places Leo might go. They studied it for a few seconds, discussing which points to systematically hit first.

Piper looked at Jason, a sad yet serious expression in her multicoloured eyes.

“Jason… If we can’t… If we can’t stop him…”

Jason didn’t meet her gaze. He knew what she was saying. He hoped she didn’t say it.

“If we can’t convince him to come home… if he becomes dangerous… you know what we have to do, right?”

His skin tingled with electricity.

“How can you say that, Piper? How can you even think to suggest-”

“I don’t like it either. And, believe me, I am praying that it doesn’t come to that, but if it does… we need to be prepared to make that call. I am prepared. Are you?”

“No, I’m fucking not,” Jason roared, angrily, “You’re asking me if I’m prepared to kill my best friend? No. The answer is no.”

“Jason-“ Piper’s eyes scanned Jason’s face, worriedly, pleading with him to see her reasoning, “You always want to see the best in people, and I love that about you, but I don’t wanna see you get hurt because of that.”

“Leo would never hurt me,” Jason told her, but he didn’t entirely believe it. Something about the look in Leo’s eyes as he had attacked Drew made Jason’s skin crawl. Vicious, wild, and maniacal. Jason had a horrible feeling that if he had stood in Leo’s way, Leo would not have stopped.

He thought about everything that kid had been through. Orphaned at the age of eight, manipulated by the Gods, abandoned by his family, forced to grow up alone on the streets, bouncing around foster homes, treated as a freak by what was supposed to be the only place that was safe for him, and probably a lot more- Leo never really talked about his past, but Jason got the sense it had been harsh and brutal. From what Jason could remember, he’d grown up in the demigod world, fighting monsters and facing death and danger. But the mortal world could be dark and cruel in ways Jason couldn’t even imagine. Subtler, more twisted ways. In a sense, he had been sheltered from that, facing the more explicitly terrifying monsters. Leo had been exposed to those tender cruelties in full force- no wonder he was filled with so much bitterness and resentment. Jason didn’t blame him for wanting to get back at the world.

But would he really go as far as Piper feared?

Jason had to believe he was still worth fighting for. That he was still in there, buried under layers and layers of pain and resentment. That there was still hope.

The first three places were dead ends. Nothing. No Leo.

Dusk had fallen by the time they had arrived at the fourth place.

An abandoned landfill site- mostly cars and old machinery. Heaps of junk towered above them, piles of corrugated iron sheets as high as small buildings. Everything from empty tomato-soup cans to out-of-order JCB diggers. They split up- Piper taking the east side, Jason taking the west. The sunset backlit the mountains of scrap, making the shadows loom over him.

Huge peak, black and huge, Jason thought.

Huh. Since when did he know Wordsworth? He didn’t have that many memories of his past, but he didn’t figure himself a literature geek. He thought about that poem, though. A man being so shocked by the vastness and power of nature that it kept him awake at night- “A trouble to his dreams”. He kind of related that to what Leo must’ve been feeling- terrified by something that was beyond his control. Tempted by the allure of power, only to realise how frightening the reality of it actually was. The poem starts with the man thinking he’s superior to nature- that he can command and control it. Then, when he sees the mountain, he realises his mistake. He realises his insignificance against the vastness of the peak. He realises that it was not him controlling nature, but in fact nature controlling him. He turns back, but the experience scars him. It haunts him for the rest of his life.

Jason shook his head. He couldn’t let his mind wander. Leo Valdez was not an epic poem- he was a scared, lost, and extremely dangerous teenager. There was nothing poetic or mysterious about the shit he’d been through. And comparing thee to a summer’s day would not help Jason find him.

He picked his way through the undergrowth of landfill, searching for a sign of life.

And then he saw it- a shape of a person in the passenger seat of a car. He saw the bounce of the curly hair, the long, bony, twitching fingers tapping on the dashboard. Aside from that, the shape didn’t seem to be moving. Just… waiting.

Jason saw Piper emerge from behind another large pile of trash. He waved her over and pointed to the car. Piper nodded. Jason approached. Leo didn’t look up, or give any indication that he saw Jason. Jason put a hand on the driver-side door and opened it.

“Leo?”

Leo was sitting, facing forward, tapping his fingers on the dashboard of the car. He didn’t answer. Jason sat down in the driver’s seat and closed the door.

“Leo, listen to me,” Jason pleaded, “You have to come back with us. I know it wasn’t your fault what happened at camp- but they don’t know that. You have to come and prove to them that you didn’t mean to hurt her. We can fix this.”

“I’m not going back, Jason,” Leo said, quietly, still staring through the front window, “You can go home.”

“But they’ll listen to you if you come- you can convince them you didn’t mean it. We’ll help you.”

“But what if I did mean it?” Leo turned to Jason, his eyes dark and hard and serious.

“Leo…”

Leo’s eyes flashed with anger, then he turned and looked through the window again.

“I’m not going back,” He repeated, his tone final.

“Leo, I know that you’re probably feeling a lot of emotions right now. You’re hurting. You’re… wait- what’s happening?” Jason felt the car start to move underneath them- inching forward sluggishly over the broken tarmac. Jason turned to Leo, “Leo? What-“

Without a word, Leo grabbed the handle to the side door and walked out of the car. Jason tried to open his own door, but he heard a click. It was locked. How was Leo doing this? Then he remembered during their quest- how easily Leo had deactivated the traps to Midas’ mansion. How he had known how to fly that helicopter just by listening to it. If Leo had some sort of telepathic ability with machines, he would be able to control the car without even touching it. That was frightening.

Jason watched the scene through the front windscreen. Piper was pleading with Leo. He could hear her voice, but her words were muffled. She tried to grab Leo’s wrist, but he shook her off. They were directly in front of the car now- Leo tried to walk away, towards the exit, but Piper was standing in his way. The car kept inching forwards like it was rolling down a very gradual hill. He was close enough to make out what Piper was saying now. Jason could hear her yelling, “Then why did you wait for us here only to refuse to come back with us?”

Leo pushed past her. Piper followed. She reached for his wrist again, but he pulled away, pushing her backwards in the process.

The car crept forward.

“Where are you gonna go, Leo?” Piper called, “What place is gonna take you in if not Camp Half-Blood?”

Leo flicked his wrist, and there was a metal clang! Piper stumbled and fell to the ground, right in the direct path of the car. The hem of her jeans were caught in some elaborate bear trap, scattered among the scrap that littered the floor. Katoptris clattered to the ground and skidded across the tarmac, just out of reach of Piper’s grasp.

Jason realised with horror that the car was not stopping. It began to pick up speed- faster, faster, it was barreling forwards now. He tried slamming on the breaks but it was no good. The accelerator was held down without his foot even on it. Piper was in front of the car. She screamed. Jason knew that she had no time to get out of the way. Leo’s lips twisted into a smile. Jason closed his eyes. Oh gods… Piper…

And then he heard tires screeching. He felt the car skid to a halt. Piper was still screaming. When Jason opened his eyes, Piper was on the ground, the front of the car was inches away from her trapped leg. The engine still revved like an impatient lion, wanting to cut to the kill.

“Promise to let me leave, Jason,” Leo said, his voice firm, “Promise you will let me go and you will not follow me.”

“Leo… don’t do this…” Jason pleaded.

“PROMISE ME OR PIPER GETS PANCAKED!!” He bellowed.

The engine revved again.

“Okay… okay… I promise… but Leo…”

“SWEAR IT ON THE RIVER STYX. BOTH OF YOU. AND SWEAR THAT NO-ONE ELSE FROM CAMP HALF-BLOOD WILL FOLLOW ME EITHER.”

Piper pleaded, “Leo, they’re out for your blood, we can’t stop-“

“SWEAR IT.”

The car inched forward, slowly. Piper caught her breath, and squeezed her eyes shut. Jason tried to get out of the car, but the door wouldn’t open.

“Leo. Stop it,” Jason begged, “This isn’t like you.”

“Isn’t like me?” Leo scoffed, “The dangerous freak is finally showing you just how dangerous and freaky he actually is. Or did you think I was just an innocent side-character? Your sassy comedic relief? You never thought I’d actually do something, did you?”

“Leo…”

“No, go ahead and save the girl. I’ll be waiting off-stage for my cue to be the funny best friend. I’ll tell my dumb jokes. Nobody actually gives a shit about who I really am. How I really feel.”

“That’s not true, Leo,” Piper assured him. Her voice was surprisingly calm for how much danger she was in.

“You don’t really believe that, or you wouldn’t be charmspeaking me, huh, beauty queen?” Leo’s eyes danced with malice, “No. The only person who ever cared about me WENT UP IN FUCKING FLAMES!!!!!!”

The car sped backwards, away from Piper. The tires screeched on the tarmac. Then it proceeded to drive towards her, picking up speed. Jason did the only thing he could- he put a hand on the dashboard, and sent a bolt of electricity through the body of the car. Luckily, it did what he wanted, and didn’t explode. It short-circuited the vehicle, giving Jason time to get out of the car before Leo could force-lock it again.

“Leo, I know you’re angry. I know you have a lot of resentment for the world-“

“YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING!!” He yelled, “You had your happy reunion. Both of you. Jason found Thalia, his long-lost sister. Piper rescued her dad. You both have people- family- who care for you. My only family… my only blood relatives kicked me out, cast me aside, and blamed me for the death of my mom.”

“That’s where you’re going?” Jason said, “Back to Texas? To get revenge on your Aunt?”

Leo said nothing. That was answer enough.

Jason took a tentative step towards Leo, but Leo’s eyes gave him one quick flash of malice and then he turned and darted past a pile of scrap, squeezed through a gap in the surrounding fence, and disappeared. Jason wanted to bolt after him, but he couldn’t leave Piper. He walked over to her and examined where the fabric of her jeans had been caught in the trap. Luckily, the metal teeth had not caught her leg. Jason picked Piper’s dagger off the ground and cut into the denim jeans, slicing off the corner that was stuck in the trap. Piper wriggled free.

“Another perfectly good pair of jeans, ruined!” Piper complained.

“Oh my gods, how will you cope?” Jason replied, helping her up, then he turned serious, “Are you okay?”

“Physically, I’m fine. But seeing Leo like that…”

Jason remembered what Piper had said about Leo, about him becoming too dangerous, and he knew she was right. Leo had just tried to kill them. He was on his way to kill someone else. They had to stop him. Even if that meant…

No. Jason couldn’t. There was some part of Leo still left there. He had to believe that.

“Come on,” Jason said, “We’ve got a rogue demigod to find.”

V- Leo

Leo had done a lot of thinking on the long bus ride to Texas

The ride was meant to take six hours. Leo hadn’t had the money to pay for it, but luckily he had quick fingers. He felt bad about pickpocketing, but strangely not as bad as he should have felt. That filled Leo with dread. It felt like his emotions were freezing over, becoming closed and calloused just like the skin on his hands. Numb. Desensitised. He was doing bad things, making dangerous choices, but he no longer cared. He was going to kill someone, and he wouldn’t even be sorry.

He studied his arms. Scabbed-over cuts, faded scars, bruises new and old.

He remembered the bullies in the foster homes, cornering him and beating him up. Kicking and pummelling him as he crumpled to the floor. He remembered thinking, as he lay there, I deserve it.

He remembered his abusive foster mom, [this is cannon, mentioned in BoO], the look in her eyes as she hit him.

Slap! I deserve it.

He remembered running away, surviving on the streets for weeks with nothing in his stomach but bile. The agony of hunger blurring his vision, making it hard to think straight. Still one thought remained clear, I deserve it.

He remembered the knife in an alleyway, dragging the cold blade across his skin, blood trickling down his arm. I deserve it. I deserve it. I deserve it. I deserve it.

He remembered the confrontations he’d had at Camp after he’d revealed his powers. They’d cornered him, too. Throttled him and punched him. He’d let them. He’d curled up on the asphalt of the basketball pitch, thinking: I deserve it.

He’d tried to hide the bruises from Jason, but Jason still noticed them. He’d been outraged, shouting at Leo, “You could’ve stopped them! Why didn’t you?!”

Because, Leo had thought, I deserve it.

All these things had left him scars. Every mark on his arm a painful memory of the things that had happened to him. Every single one of them he deserved.

And now…

Oh Gods, what had he done? He had tried to kill his two best friends. He had actually, genuinely wanted to hurt them. Wanted them dead.

What would they think of him now? Would they forgive him? No, he knew they wouldn’t. They’d try to stop him. They’d try to kill him.

I deserve it, Leo thought.

Leo knew he was unfixable. Broken beyond repair. No rescue. No salvation. So if he was throwing his hopeless little life away, he might as well take someone else down with him.

There were people out there who deserved it, too.

Leo clenched his fists in anger just remembering everything Aunt Rosa had done. She had called him terrible names, yelled at the social workers to take him away, turned his whole family against him. She had ruined Leo’s life- abandoned him and left him in the hands of the worst people. She was the reason for all those scars on his arm.

I deserve it.

Yeah, well, she deserves it too.

Six hours until Texas, and Leo had already been awake for the past thirty four. He decided to close his eyes and sleep.

The nightmares came at him, fast.

He dreamed of the night his mother was killed. The low, cold, sleepy voice of Gaia as she told him of what was to come. He remembered the flames caressing his skin as his hands caught light. “They cannot stop me from breaking your spirit,” She had said to him. For years, he had dwelled on that line. For years, he had kept up appearances- kept up the Mask of the jokes and the sarcasm.

He remembered the sleeping face of the woman. Her shifting, dirt-like clothes. He was always the life of the party, the class clown, the comedic relief. He’d made everyone believe he had kept his spirit- that he’d never lost it in that fire. That it was more than just shattered remnants of happiness.

He remembered her coming towards him, advancing slowly and drowsily. He could not let anyone see that his spirit was broken. Not his friends. Not Gaia. Not even himself. Because he believed that if he let that Mask down for even a second, then she’d won.

He remembered the fear he had felt when the door had locked itself. The utter dread that rose in his stomach. Always positive. Always happy. Happy lil’ guy Leo. But the weight of that Mask had been crushing him. Now he’d shown his true, terrifying colours. And gods, it was like a heavy load had been lifted off his shoulders. He wasn’t afraid of being judged. Of bullies. Of monsters. He wasn’t even afraid of Gaia anymore. He wasn’t gonna be weighed down by the need to pretend just because some goddess thought she could control him. She was no different than Drew Tanaka- whispering cruel insults just to provoke him- and Leo had burned her putrid little face off.

He was there again. That night. Fire rose up, threatening to rage and roar. This time, Leo didn’t stop it. He let the flames engulf him and he actually smiled. He remembered the walls of the workshop blackening and crumbling. He remembered the ceiling falling down around him. For the first time, he’d seen that night as a display of his power- he had burned an entire building down at the age of eight, without even trying. He’d spent the next seven years suppressing his abilities, squashing it down, never giving in to the temptation of lashing out. Now, knowing the extent of his powers… imagine what he could do with some practice, maybe some training. The world had wronged him, but he was powerful. And he was gonna get it back.

He remembered the police sirens singing quietly in the distance. The flashing lights revolving silently across the world, washing it in red, blue, red, blue.

He was angry. He was gonna kill her. He was gonna fucking kill her.

Leo woke with a start. He felt the heat in his body rising, and quickly tried to squash it down. Luckily, there was no-one sitting next to him, but the stench in the air and on the leather seats at the back of the bus smelled incredibly flammable. Leo’s skin was scolding hot to the touch. He looked up at the no smoking sign, and chuckled at the irony of it.

Outside the window, the bus was pulling into a depot, manoeuvring into a space. He heard, or rather, felt, the tires underneath him slow to a halt. They had arrived.

VI- Jason

Texas was six hours away. They could get there quicker by plane, but they didn’t have the money for a ticket. They couldn’t even afford a coach, but luckily Piper had a solution. With a quick help from the Human Spark Plug that was Jason, they managed to get the car that Leo had tried to pancake them with up and running. Piper had gotten private driving lessons from her dad in the run-up to her sixteenth birthday. She’d put them to good use when she’d joyridden that BMW. They just prayed that she looked old enough to not be asked for a license.

It had taken them an hour to get out of the New York traffic, costing them valuable time. If they really were on their way to save a life, Jason hoped that getting stuck still behind a taxi cab for fifteen minutes didn’t cost them that. From what he’d heard about Leo’s Aunt Rosa, Jason figured she was a nasty and unpleasant piece of shit. But that didn’t mean she deserved to die. Besides, it wasn’t her that they were trying to save- it was Leo. Taking a life changes someone. He wanted to stop Leo before he went down that path. Jason couldn’t lose Leo like that.

“How’re we gonna stop him?” Jason asked, the long, winding upstate roads twisting before them.

Piper sighed, keeping her eyes on the road, “I tried charm-speak in the scrapyard. It didn’t do anything. He’s too far gone- too stuck in his own head to listen to reason.”

“There’s gotta be some way we can get through to him. There’s gotta be hope.”

“But what if there isn’t?” Piper’s voice cracked slightly, “What if…”

“We’re not having this conversation again, Piper. We’ll find some other way.”

Piper looked like she wanted to argue, but she kept her mouth shut.

They drove for several more hours before they arrived in Huston. Daylight rose up as they entered the city. Neither of them had slept. The streets became progressively more packed and winding as they delved further into the city.

The only question was- Where was Leo? How were they gonna find one scrappy twig of a boy in a big city like Huston?

Luckily, as they drove down the busy streets, a fire engine raced past, sirens blaring. Piper and Jason exchanged looks. It very well might not’ve been Leo, but it was their best lead. Piper stepped on the gas, and they went after the engine. Several cars honked at them angrily, but Piper ignored them. She sped up, going through a red light.

The car skidded to a halt when Piper saw that the firetruck had stopped outside a building. Smoke was pouring out of one of the ground-floor windows, but it wasn’t alight yet. Jason sighed with relief when he saw that a crowd of people- he guessed most of the inhabitants judging by the size of the apartment complex- standing safely outside. No-one looked badly hurt, but there was no Leo.

They got out of the car and moved closer towards the crowd. Nobody stopped them in the chaos.

“A teenage boy,” Jason head one of the residents say to the firefighter, “Stormed into our neighbours apartment. We heard yelling, then we heard the fire alarms.”

“What did this boy look like?”

“He was skinny, looked about fifteen, maybe sixteen- he had dark hair and his clothes and face was covered in dirt.”

Yup, that was Leo alright.

“He’s still in there,” the witness said, “I-I didn’t see him or our neighbour come out.”

Jason thanked the god of eavesdropping on people giving valuable exposition, and grabbed Piper’s hand. Before the firefighters could stop them, they rushed into the building.

Jason ran down the hall. One of the doors was ajar, and thick smoke was pouring out of it. Jason pulled Piper inside.

Leo was standing there, his body aflame, looming over an old woman, cowering on the floor. Leo was approaching her, slowly.

“Say you’re sorry, Aunt Rosa!” Leo yelled, “Say you’re sorry for everything you did to me.”

“Leo, stop!” Piper cried, and for a second, Leo did. But then he shook his head, and kept advancing.

“Say you’re sorry!” He commanded.

“I-I-“ The woman stammered. Leo’s fire burned brighter. Piper rushed forward and grabbed Leo’s Aunt by the shoulders and pulled her out of the way. She pushed her towards Jason, who grabbed her and shoved her towards the door. She ran without looking back.

Leo turned to face him. He was still wearing his Camp Half-Blood t-shirt, which was now tattered and scorched and ripped. He glowered menacingly at Jason, fire danced in his eyes. Some twisted muscle in the corner of his mouth curled into a smile, as he sent two lines of flames racing towards Piper. Jason ran and pushed her out of range of the attack, just before walls of fire closed in around him. Heat hit him in the face with an unbearable force. Searing pain. Jason felt the strength seeping out of him. Leo was advancing slowly down the alleyway he’d created with his flames.

“Leo, please,” Jason begged, “You don’t want to do this. Please, I know some part of you still cares.”

At Jason’s pleading the corner of Leo’s mouth twisted into even more of a cruel smile. It wasn’t Leo’s smile- that flash of that playful grin, the mischievous twinkle in his eye, the cheeky little dimple at the corner of his mouth. No. This smile was cold and menacing, and it was disturbing how genuine it was. Leo was enjoying this.

Jason’s skin blackened and blistered. He wanted to cry out in pain, but Leo’s hand shot out and closed around his throat, cutting off what little oxygen Jason had left in the smoke-filled room.

“JASON!!” Piper yelled

It was now or never. Leo had Jason pinned against the wall, but Jason had the physical advantage over him, despite the energy seeping out of his muscles as Leo throttled him. He could muster up enough strength to overpower Leo, bring his sword down on his skull, end it all here. His vision was clouding fast, and Jason could feel his empty lungs screaming for air. If he didn’t act now, he’d quickly lose consciousness. But something made him hesitate. He let his sword clatter to the ground. Leo kicked it aside, keeping his eyes locked on Jason. Jason raised his hand, and touched Leo’s cheek. The last thing he saw was Leo’s dark eyes, cold and cruel, as the life drained out of Jason’s body and the fire swallowed him whole.

VII- Piper

Piper couldn’t see. Smoke filled the room and stung her eyes. She could just make out the vague silhouette of Leo holding Jason up by the throat- pinning him against the wall. She saw Jason struggle, gasping for air.

She called his name.

She unsheathed Katoptris and rushed forwards, but the heat from the flames was too much to bear, so she staggered back. She stood there, helpless, as Leo chocked Jason to death. She saw Jason drop his sword, and Leo kick it away. It skidded to a halt at Piper’s feet. What the fuck was Jason doing, letting go of his weapon? Leo was gonna kill him! She saw Jason reach out towards Leo, then his limbs went slack.

“NOOOOOO!!!!!!” Piper screamed.

Too late. She watched in horror as Jason’s limp body disappeared behind a column of flames. Piper picked up his sword with trembling hands, as Leo turned to face her.

She couldn’t believe it. Jason was dead. And Leo- Leo, his best friend, his closest companion, had killed him.

No. It wasn’t Leo. The man that stood in front of her was barely recognisable as that scrawny kid she’d met at the Wilderness School. His pointed facial features were darkened in the fire-lit room, the muscles around his mouth were contorted into a deranged grin. The look in his dark eyes was of pure malice. That. Was not. Leo.

Jason was dead. Whatever it was that stood before her had killed him. And it needed to pay.

It advanced towards her, but she was ready. She held Jason’s sword firmly in her grip.

As she slashed the blade across its chest, she saw that warped smile falter and for a moment, she caught a glimpse of Leo’s fearful expression. Then the light in his eyes died, and he crumpled to the ground, lying still.

He didn’t turn to dust like a monster.

He just lay there. Blood seeped out of the gash in his chest. So much blood.

Piper stood there as the world blurred around her. She felt someone grab her and rush her out of the building, but it all seemed like it was happening to someone else. The paramedics ran to her side, tending her burns. Firefighters doused the building in water. She replayed the moment she had killed Leo over and over again in her mind- that flash of remorse as the golden blade struck across his skin, blood trickling from the wound she’d made. So much blood. Oh gods, there had been so much blood. How can a body that tiny have so much blood?

She could’ve found another way. She could’ve saved him. If she had just hesitated-

No. Jason had hesitated. Leo had not. And now Jason was dead.

She knew it. In her heart, she knew it.

She knew that there was no hope of the firefighters finding Jason’s body as anything more than a blackened corpse. No rescue. No salvation.

Leo hadn’t been a monster. He was just a scared little kid.

She thought about everything he’d been through, everything he’d seen. He’d done terrible things. He’d let the power corrupt him. Let the anger and the pain take over until it consumed him. He was not controlling it. It was controlling him. He surrendered himself to it, believing he himself was not worth enough to be saved. It was better to submit. Leo could not see the good in himself, so threw himself into his power and let the cruelty take hold. Deep down, Piper knew he was just scared. He was just a kid- a barely fifteen, 5’1, runty little boy. Leo was badly damaged and broken and hurting. He didn’t ask to be born into this cruel world. To lose his mom, his hope, his home, his everything. He didn’t choose this life of torture and suffering. He didn’t want to be a half-blood.

He did not deserve it.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

A few author’s footnotes for the end:

I know Drew is a more complex character than that, but I needed a someone to bully Leo and she seemed like a better choice than to just create one.

I did start suddenly talking about Wordsworth there- I’m a huge literature geek and I really wanted to make that connection. I started writing a mountain and suddenly my brain jumped on the whole “Power of nature controlling you” metaphor.

About the car telekinesis thing- I’m pretty sure in MoA or something he actually moves some gears through a brick wall, just by putting a hand on it, which gave me the idea that he probably could drive a car with his mind if he was angry enough.

Also, I’ve just read the ending of BoO (I wrote this fic while I was still working my way through HoO), and we don’t talk enough about how in the battle against Gaia (also Ik I probably spelt her name wrong, I listened to the audiobooks, ok?) Leo was so powerful his body was actually made of fire- like Jason describes how you could see the flames inside him illuminating his skull!! Y’all say Percy is the most powerful demigod, but nobody fucking talks about Leo!! Percy didn’t even kill Kronos himself, he just handed Luke the knife. Leo DESTROYED MOTHER EARTH!!!! And, as I’m pretty sure mentioned in the story, he’d been suppressing his powers his entire life. Now he can finally let loose, he gets to be actually scary.

And not just with his fire as well- Leo is easily one of the most talented Hephaestus kids with machines, so much that he’s able to communicate with them. I wrote that scene in the junkyard to allow Leo to be fucking terrifying.

Aaaaand writing that just now, I’ve realised that might be my own automatophobia (fear of freaky animatronics and shit) being projected through my writing. Wow, the things you learn about yourself through fanfiction.

Also, everything I wrote about machines is probably SUPER inaccurate. I know nothing about them.

Similarly, I have never been to Texas or even America so I have no clue if any of my descriptions were accurate

Idk why I put “He didn’t want to be a half-blood” at the end. But I think it’s an interesting parallel to the themes explored in the first series with Percy and Luke- to be so wronged by the world that you just want to get back at it. But Luke had been wronged by the godly world, Leo had been wronged by the mortal one (but also by Hera and Gaia).

I’ve wanted to write this fic for a long time, and started getting ideas even before finishing tlh- but it was a post by @malrie that inspired me to start actually writing it, linking that here.

Also ty to @lavenderfairiez for helping me proofread some bits I wasn’t sure about and giving me some advice

This IS lowkey inspired by Shakespeare’s “Othello” (Like I said, literature geek)- a guy goes evil bc of the shitty way society treated him and everyone dies in the end. It’s a great play.

Vague undertones of Valgrace bc I couldn’t help myself, but it can be interpreted however you want. I didn’t ship Valgrace when I started this, and in fact I think I began writing it the day I began writing my first Valgrace fic, which then led me to start shipping them. Most of this was meant to be written platonically, but now I’ve made it a bit gay. Ooopsie daisy.

Also, sorry if you’re crying now. Actually, I’m kinda not sorry. I’m like Rick after writing the end of MoA.

[t-lostinworlds]

hello! gosh, i honestly have no idea what else to do anymore. i've been such a huge ball of anxiety these pass few days and i feel like i've got no other choice ://

so, enrollment for the next semester is this Monday (in 4 days), and idk why my school decided to do it during this time when most ppl don't get paid until the last day of the month/next month. as if that isn't enough, enrollments are also on a time limit and now that we get to decide our own schedules, it's also a race on who gets the subjects first. and if you can't pay for a percentage of the tuition fee upfront, you're going to get delisted so you have to pick your subjects again. the later you enroll, the fewer timeslots. so i could end up having a 6-9pm which isn't safe for me in this city especially when i commute alone. even worse, our tuition for this semester is much higher for some reason and we weren't warned about it.

i can't ask for financial aid from my school yet bc it's required to have at least finished 1 year before you're able to. i'm still trying to look for student/personal loan options bc most i've seen so far require a monthly that i just can't afford rn and it only covers 1 term instead of a whole year so it's not really that sustainable :(( (i don't live in the US btw so it's not a "start paying when you graduate" thing. taking out a loan means i still need to pay monthly while in school on top of other expenses, which as you can imagine, feels more like a burden than it is helpful.) i've also tried looking for scholarships but most only support stem/business courses bc this country isn't nice to artists so that sucks.

i honestly have very little money saved and with the sudden increase in tuition, it's hard to cover half of it even with my parents' help. and again, nobody is getting paid until next month so money is already tight as is with it being the end of th month.

so long story short, i need some help. the first installment for the fee (converted from my currency) is about $600. BUT. NO PRESSURE. i'm only asking those who have extra to spare. and any and all amounts are welcome. it's already going to be such a huge help. hell, even just a simple reblog to boost this already helps a ton.

but also, my commissions are open! so if u want to have a lil story in exchange for just a tiny bit of help, that'd be great too <3

here's my kofi and my pypl

again, no pressure! even a smallest amount already helps a lot. and also, pls do reblog to boost. i really appreciate you! i hope you're having a wonderful day <3 don't forget to take care of yourself too. sending you wonderful people love always ❤️

tagging some mutuals under the cut for a boost bc sometimes this doesn't show up in the tags anymore (but also you don't have too!! you can ignore this if u want alskalks)

@selfcarecap @hollandsmoose @shellshocklove @tanaka-drew @agaritas @userholland @thecodyexpress @annab-nana @hollandweather @annathesillyfriend @cumholland @jasntodds @quethekillerqueen @worldoftom (ily guys, i hope you're all safe and well ❤️)

[bugwolfsstuff]

You don't have to be anybody you can never be. That's alright, let it out, talk to me

and after fucking ages. Here is the Asexual Connor Stoll shot ive been working on.

@thel1ghtningthief told yah I can do hurt and comfort :)

on Ao3

TW: a lot of internalized acephobia

-----

Connor thought the door to the Aphrodite cabin was pretty. It was a white door, with a brass knocker and pink stained glass at the top in a semi-circle. 

Connor has been standing outside of Cabin 10 for ten minutes, not because he was captured by the door’s beauty but probably because he was terrified. 

He didn't like being terrified, and he wasn't usually. Usually feeling terrified was reserved for monsters or Chris’s girlfriend Clarisse. 

But this was different. This was so, so, so different. You can kill monsters — and Clarisse but he doesn't think Chris would appreciate that — what you can’t do is kill feelings or lack thereof. 

But you can talk about it, his brain helpfully said. Which he thought was the exact kind of thinking he’d make fun of in a little kids’ tv show. He didn't like talking about his feelings. That made them too real. And even if he did talk about it with someone else, he couldn’t face them and their pity. He was a head counselor too; he didn't need pity. 

Unfortunately, he did have to face someone’s pity (or disgust, his brain helpfully added) this time. 

He took a deep breath and finally grabbed the door knocker. The metal was cold in his hands. 

He flinched, the sound of brass hitting wood was way louder than it should have been. He wanted to turn back already, maybe he could run away now and pretend he was playing ding dong ditch? 

But his feet were rooted to the ground when the door opened. 

Drew Tanaka scowled at him from the doorway. Her black hair was in curlers, and she had half drawn eyeliner on one of her eyes. She must’ve been getting ready for something before Connor interrupted her. Which hopefully meant she’d just slam the door in his face, and he could pretend this entire thing never happened. 

“What do you want, Stoll?” Drew snarled. (Oh, great she’s angry. This was a horrible idea) 

“Umm...” Connor’s mouth felt dry. Maybe he could run away? His feet were rooted to the ground. She should just slam the door in his face. 

Drew rolled her eyes. He wondered if she’d do that when he tells her. “Spit it out, Stoll! I don’t have all day! 

“Uhh, I need to talk to you about something...” he sighed, “... personal” 

Drew's expression changed and Connor’s brain screamed run. 

“Personal how?” Drew sighed, “It’s not to ask me out, is it? Cause I got a girlfrien—” 

“Am I broken?” He blurted out before clamping his hands over his mouth.  

He didn't mean to. He didn't want to say it. Saying it made it real. Oh gods. 

Drew looked genuinely caught off guard. She looked at him for what was probably a second but felt like a minute and her expression changed again; it was.... softer? He didn’t even know Drew Tanaka could be soft. 

“Broken?” Drew said. She bit her lip before she opened the door wider, “Come inside.” 

Connor hesitated. Drew raised an eyebrow; he expected her to snap at him, tell him to hurry up, but she didn't. Instead, she just held the door open. 

And against his ‘better’ judgement he went inside. 

The Aphrodite cabin was nicer than its door. It was a pale pink and white, with lots of posters of celebrities on the walls. It smelt heavily of perfume — the nice kind of flowery perfume you’d smell at funeral homes. Every bunk had different colored curtains and chests with names on them at the end of them. 

Probably filled with expensive things to steal, he thought. Though he tried to push it away, stealing from Drew was probably not a good idea. 

“Everyone out!” Drew yelled and all the Aphrodite kids left without protest. Connor tried to slip out with the crowd. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. All of his courage was shot out the window from just those two words. 

Drew grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the door, “Nuh uh. Not you.” she led him to her bunk, “Sit.” 

Against his better judgment, he obeyed. There truly was no way out of this. He should be ready to deal with his entire life going down the drain. 

“Okay, so spill it, Stoll.” Drew said, crossing her arms, “why do you think your broken?” 

Connor squirmed under her gaze. All of the bad thoughts came up at once: 

This was it. Drew’s probably gonna laugh at you. Then she’ll tell everyone about how broken you are. How pathetic you really are. 

Tears pricked the corner of his eyes. He really couldn’t do it. 

But he had to. 

Connor gulped back the tears threatening to fall. He couldn’t cry, he just had to say some words and deal with the fallout.  

“I—I don’t like...” His face burned and he cringed at hearing his voice crack, “don’t like —you know— stuff.” 

Drew blinked, “You mean sex?” She didn't look disgusted or angry. Hell, she didn’t even look surprised. The corner of her mouth quirked up and—  

oh no, oh no oh no oh no, no no no no no no no no no no! She’s about to laugh! He knew this was going to happen! He never should have done this! 

Drew burst out laughing and something in Connor’s stomach curled, and his felt his eyes getting wet...and also maybe a few flowers in the cabin died — It’s an underworld Hermes kid thing, because he can’t just be a freak in one way.   

Drew was either a mind reader or he was just really easy to read because she instantly stopped laughing. 

“Sorry — You're not a freak, Connor. It’s just...” She made a face, “Thats it? Your worried about something as little as that? Your just ace, it’s not a big deal”.  

She bent down on her knees to his eye level. He could barely see her through his tears. He didn't mean to cry in front of her — he didn't mean to be such a baby. 

She looked uncomfortable, “Hey, Connor. I’m not very good with this comfort stuff, but you know it's fine, right?” She frowned, her nose scrunching up, “Right?” she repeated. 

She picked up a corner of her blanket and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. He appreciated the gesture; he just didn't have the heart to tell her false nails were scratching his cheek through the fabric. 

“But—but.” He grabbed the blanket, he didn't mean to, he just needed something to hold on to, Drew didn't seem to mind though. He whimpered, “I don’t know...Everyone else talks about sex and all that stuff but I don't want that—I don’t like all that stuff? Am I? —” 

“Don’t you dare say broken again, Stoll” Drew interrupted. 

Connor sniffled, a faint smile forming on his face, “complete and utterly damaged?” 

Drew sniggered before going back to her usual annoyed face, though he felt like it wasn’t because of the ‘no sex’ thing. "No, Con. You're not broken, you're not a perv, or a prude or anything else weird old people say. You just don’t feel sexual attraction, you’re Asexual. That’s fine.” 

He wiped his nose on the blanket. (okay, Drew’s lip curled at that one) “What about the love gods? Like your mom, or Eros?” He asked. 

Drew scoffed as if she’s heard that one before and maybe she has. If there was a name for it, then maybe he wasn't alone. “My mother is the goddess of love. Not just sexual love, all of it. And as for Eros, he’s the god of sexual love. If anything, it’s just less work for him.”  

“What about all those myths about your mom punishing people for” He struggled with the words, “...being like me?” 

Drew rolled her eyes, “Those myths are over exaggerated, and it wasn’t for being ace, it was for scorning love itself. That’s completely different. Your fine, Con”. 

Connor sniffled. She said it with such conviction he believed her. Maybe everything will be okay.  

She said it was fine, she said you are fine. You are okay. His brain rang, repeating the words over and over again and for once, he agreed with his brain. 

Drew smiled at him as if reading his mind again (or maybe he really was just easy to read), standing up, “There you go! And hey! At least you can joke about having an ace up your sleeve!” 

Connor giggled.  

It was okay. Everything is and will be okay, his brain repeated. 

Drew turned around to fix her makeup in a mirror, but she was still looking at him through the glass. 

“Plus, it's kinda hubris to think the gods care sooo much about little old you!” She called back, drawing on her other eyeliner, “What? Do you think the gods are all tuning into the Connor Show?” She laughed and the eyeliner pen shook in her hands, “I'm sure your life is a hit on Olympus”. 

Connor laughed, it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Seriously, why was he so concerned about it? It felt silly now that he was thinking about it. 

Drew turned around and put her hands on her hips. “And if anyone gives you shit about it, tell me! And me and Nyssa will deal with it.”  

He believed her, Nyssa was a Hephaestus kid and he’s seen what Drew can do during capture the flag. 

Drew glanced at a clock on a wall before pulling him up off the bed and pushing him in the direction of the door. “Right, there's my good deed for the day. Now shoo, I have a date in half an hour and I gotta get ready for my hot girlfriend!” 

Connor nodded, walking outside the cabin and into the night. Drew was definitely going on his personal do not steal from list for this, “Thanks.” He said. 

“No problem” Drew replied before shutting the door, leaving Connor to walk back to cabin 11 feeling slightly lighter. 

-------------

Drew sighed contently and walked back to her mirror, pulling out her curlers. A bed with the curtains drawn made a noise behind her. 

She rolled her eyes and ignored it. She was more concerned about her curls. Her hair looked good not great. 

The bed made another noise. 

Drew rolled her eyes again, “You know, Piper, you're not very good at pretending to be a piece of furniture.” 

The bed sighed and the curtains pulled back. It was Piper, looking half asleep and with a very bad case of bedhead, Drew knew she was there the entire time. Charmspeak doesn't work on other charmspeakers. 

Piper sat up rubbing her eyes, “when did you get so...” She made a face, as if saying it would kill her,” .... Nice, Drew?” 

Drew scoffed, “You sound surprised.” She looked at Piper through the mirror, “How much did you hear?” She asked. 

“All of it. and I am.” 

As Drew took the last curler out of her hair, she turned to face Piper. 

“I’m not as bad as you think I am, Piper; anyone can talk to me about their sexuality, even you”. 

End.

[archonfurina]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ mutual appreciation post [ part 2 ] ! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

@jsilverhand torrie! we share many fandoms and i love your blog!!

@princessmelinoe hi annie!! you're super sweet and nice and i love your gifs sm, everything you make is so pretty!

@dareth-sh1ral my da mutual!! i hope you're doing well, i love your blog!!

@princeofhags your blog is so special and i love seeing you on my dash! <3

@water-dhavians we have many similar interests and i'm glad we're mutuals!! i hope you're doing well!

@alistairs hi iva!! everything you make of your ocs (and other things but i'm esp a fan of your ocs) is sooo good!! you're so talented and nice!!

@gortash i love your blog sm and i'm so honored we're mutuals!! you're awesome! <3

@tanaka-drew hi ces!! you're so talented and cool, i can't believe you follow me back fdshssjdf i'm a big fan <3

@not-so-blue hii! i love your gifs and seeing you on my dash!! you're really sweet!

@fae-knight hiii!! you're so cool and amazing and i'm happy we're mutuals!!

@i-am-not-a-super-hero you're really sweet and kind!! i always smile when i see you on my dash!

@finalfantasy7 your blog is one of my favourites, you're v cool and i love seeing you on my dash!

@faepunkprince doriii! my cp77 mutual!! you're always so sweet and your ocs are awesome!!

@myunghjun hii ada! you're so cool and super nice and i love your blog sm!!!

@wayvirgo my kpop mutual!! you're really sweet and i love seeing you on my dash!!

@kuraioshiro we've been mutuals for a long time now and i'm so glad!! you're one of the nicest people i've met!!

@dreamclouds i love your blog sm, and your url is soo pretty. i love seeing you on my dash!

@dollopheadsandclotpoles anya!! i'll always remember (and miss) our lbc days!! you're amazing and so sweet!

@marrmoris hi sasha!! i hope you're doing well, you're in my thoughts! i love your blog and i'm happy we're mutuals!

@dripdropv v!! you're so cool and your blog is amazing, i hope you're doing well!

@mosbanks hii natalie!! you're awesome and so is your blog <3 i'm happy we're mutuals!!

@stickymoonsoul lisa!! your blog is one of my favourites and i appreciate you a lot!!

@yanchen hi lara i hope you're doing well!! you're amazing!

@diamozi i feel like we've been mutuals forever, you're so lovely and nice, i hope you're doing well!!

@longfixedfable i love your blog sm, i put so many shows on my watchlist because i know you have a good taste!!

@singharit i really love seeing you on my dash! you're awesome!!!

@formileven my sister!! i love you!! <33333

@fkyb hii! you're amazing!! i hope you're doing well!! <3

@seonbaggirl my bl moot!! i love seeing you on my dash!! <3

[pinkblahaj]

rick riordan's female characters pt 2: aphrodite's children

during my reread of pjo, rick riordan's portrayals of aphrodite's children was what made me first realize that his writing of teen girls might be problematic. it does make sense considering the demonization of femininity that used to be so popular, but it is valid to still be bothered by it. i have thoughts on how cabin 10 is described overall, as well as the specific characters.

cabin 10

in the earlier books, rick made the aphrodite cabin way too one-dimensional. yes, the goddess aphrodite is known for her vain and shallow personality, and yes, the other campers tend to possess well-known traits of their godly parents (ares' children are aggressive, hermes' children are tricksters, nike's children are competitive, etc.). but the way that aphrodite's children were portrayed as especially weak, preferring to look at their reflections and gossip rather than play capture the flag, did feel blatantly sexist to me. like of course because their mom is the most stereotypically feminine of the gods, they have the least battle skills.

at the beginning of HoO i thought rick might be atoning for some of these flaws. it was interesting that piper, a character who explicitly rejects traditional standards for femininity and beauty, turned out to be a child of aphrodite. but then her siblings were still very stereotypical and their cabin literally made her "gag". i found it unnecessary that rick specified in the lost hero that most of the cabin were girls. sure, it makes sense that aphrodite would want to have more daughters than sons, but that combined with the fact that they lack the skills of other demigods just doesn't look good. i liked that rick mentioned that despite her reputation, aphrodite was a war goddess and the oldest of the olympians, but i was disappointed that he continued to stereotype her children so harshly.

silena

i don't have many criticisms of this character, other than her being described as one of the few nice campers from cabin 10. i really liked that she valued love and kindness, which more of the aphrodite campers should have been like imo. although aphrodite and her children have a generally shallow reputation in the original pjo series, i appreciate the impact that silena had on the series and the way that she showed that aphrodite's children can still have bravery and strength.

i do wish that more attention is paid to how luke manipulated/groomed her and others (which i've been seeing the pjo fandom do more now, fortunately), as this is a big reason why i can't see him as a redeemable character.

drew

call me delusional but i am a proud drew tanaka defender. yes, silena was manipulated by luke and she sacrificed herself heroically. but she still betrayed camp half-blood and is part of the reason why several of them, including charles, died. drew likely looked up to silena and felt this betrayal extremely severely, and her bitterness is justified. i just don't believe that she became mean for no reason.

because rick is clearly capable of writing his characters with more depth, it's so disappointing that he put so little thought into drew. clarisse was a bully, but she is revealed to be under severe pressure from her dad and later becomes friends with percy. luke is a main antagonist but evokes sympathy from many readers. even octavian, who was unlikable from beginning to end, was suffering mentally and enabled by apollo, and thus didn't deserve all the blame. yes, some people are truly horrible for no good reason, but with all the trauma that the pjo characters go through, there was likely a much better explanation for why drew is the way she is. i hate that he just made her the most archetypal mean girl who immediately hates the female lead because they are interested in the same guy. (side note: it's funny that the only other living female asian character in pjo/hoo i can think of is annabeth's stepmom, who i do NOT claim)

piper

this character seems to be quite controversial, but i honestly was not as bothered by piper as i thought i would be upon rereading. her "not like other girls" phase lasts pretty much only one book... and it's realistic for teenagers to have cringey phase. since i do have a problem with the larger context of how rick wrote aphrodite's children, i do see why some are more bothered by it, bc rick portrays piper as better than her more feminine siblings. in this aspect, i do think piper had some lost potential. i think it's great that we have characters like piper and frank who aren't pure stereotypes based on their godly parents and who have to learn to embrace that side of them. but i wish we would have seen piper realize that being feminine does not mean you are stuck up and that she possibly had internalized misogyny. i really like the interpretation that her identities of being indigenous and queer affected her relationship with femininity and gender expression, but i doubt rick himself actually thought that deep into it. however, i've only read the first two books of toa, so there may be parts of her character i am missing.

i remember finding piper and jason to be boring characters during my first read of hoo, but after rereading, i think they are good characters who were placed in an extremely bland relationship. i personally am a subscriber to the lesbian piper + gay jason headcanon, as hera manipulating them into a relationship feels a lot like comphet. but i don't find their relationship unrealistic either. i feel like our standards were raised pretty high by percabeth, a relationship based on an actual friendship between two people who knew and loved each other deeply. but it's also normal for teenagers to get together quickly without knowing whether they are compatible. also, considering how short the expected lifespan of demigods are, it makes sense that we see couples like jiper and frazel who start dating less than a year after meeting. i also was never that bothered by piper being "obsessed" with jason... the other hoo couples tended to do that too, and her mother is the goddess of love.

piper's charmspeak was an interesting power, but i don't think it was super well thought out. obviously, there are some ethical questions about her using it on people, including her own friends, that are never answered-- especially because sometimes piper doesn't even realize she's using it. also, i found it hard to believe that in the lost hero she was already able to use it on gaea. i enjoyed the moments where we saw her other skills and would have liked to see more of them. her emotional intelligence (as seen in the way she helps annabeth defeat mimas) was underutilized and could have been a great staple for all of aphrodite's children.

[written-in-flowers]

If anyone reading Kimura Delivery Service wanted a visual on Sakyia, Asahina Aya is who I normally picture when I'm not picturing myself (lol during the smutty parts). I think she's gorgeous, and I love her as Kuina in Alice in Borderland. It was her character's fighting prowess that drew me to her when a friend asked me who I envisioned as my baby girl Tanaka Sakyia. <3

(I'm willing to write a character sheet for anyone interested in knowing more about her! I love her so damn much, I can talk about her and her lightly unhinged boyfriends forever, just ask @nessinborderland lmfao appreciate her so much for that)

[meetmyglowinthedarkboyfriend]

What are your hc's for ethan nakamura? (Also how/why do you think his family moved to America?)

I'm sorry this one took ages, I received this late at night and I went to bed before answering. I already had an Ethan headcanon list but this is the additions/updated version. Anyways:

His father is called Masahiko Nakamura (中村正彦), who is an accountant by day (credit to @jasonqrace for this part), a vigilante by night

He's a Hunger Games fan (stolen from @riordanversereyna)… and on second thought, maybe Death Note too??

His family is from Kagoshima (I did some surname distribution tracing)

He is probably the kind to go “fuck your instant ramen, I have the real deal” (read: Kagoshima style ramen)

Before leaving CHB for the Titan Army, he was friends with Drew, who bonded over their similar ancestry (I headcanon Drew's grandparents to live in Sapporo, Hokkaido) and love for certain food types (read: miso ramen). Drew was heartbroken to learn in the Battle of Manhattan that she didn't just lose her sister, but her lost adopted older brother as well (hc that all the East Asians of CHB are close and see each other as family, and Drew heard Ethan defected and thought he was just misguided… man I can probably write a fic about this)

If he had survived in TLO to future books, he would really go help Jason with his project to honour all the gods (credit to @iwastoldthishadtogo) and would be the big brother to all the Asians

He's definitely taken part in several protests - if he lived, he'd definitely be raging at Trump and would have been the one to host the “Trump got voted out” party at CHB

I'm not sure why his father moved to the US though, I've never really thought about it :/

[forbidding-souda]

hiiii can u do hcs for mondo, kazuichi and gundham when theyre like. falling in love with someone. does that make sense

Mondo Oowada, Kazuichi Souda, and Gundham Tanaka when they fall in love

i sense.. someone might request this same thing but with different characters

i have such embarrassment over my writing rn because my classmates read my fuyuhiko pegging fic in class and i was internally screaming like pleas ei'm egbeigng nstpo

-Mod Souda

Mondo Oowada

❤ He would keep looking you up and down, not knowing what to think, not truly understanding why you drew him in so much. He liked seeing you laugh. More than that, he loves seeing when other people make you laugh. Something about observing you, the real you, makes him feel more at peace.

❤ There are times where he will walk up behind you and pat you on the back as he joins your conversation.

❤ There are other times where he will lean back into his chair and just watch you for the entire class period.

❤ He will compare the two of your hand sizes (definitely not for an nsfw reason), invite you out on rides, make jokes about your appearance (harsh...) and call you things like pip squeak or kiddo.

❤ He would like to think he has complete control of the situation; that he has you under wrap.

❤ But there are small moments where you ignore him, whether on purpose or accidentally, that utterly ruin his mood. He will sink back into his chair and cross his arms, the smile he always gets when he's around you dropping from his face.

❤ Whenever he's listening to music, suddenly all of the "you's" become about... you.

❤ All those sad romance songs become not so fun to listen to anymore.

❤ When he's driving and he thinks about you, he grips onto his handles a little too hard. Oh, how he would kill to feel your hands around his waist from behind.

❤ He's not going to get you flowers or a box of chocolates. But he's going to threaten mean people away from you and tell Taka to come down on his brash-ness when it comes to you.

❤ Mondo falling in love is the strong urge to keep his eye on you, to relate you to every song on the radio, and to have your approval.

.

Kazuichi Souda

❤ You take his breath away.

❤ He literally like chokes on his own air whenever he sees you round the corner. It's a moment of panic, like, oh shit where do I hide?

❤ Before he puts his hands behind his back and puffs out his chest.

❤ "Good evening, (Y/N), do you need me to accompany you to class?"

❤ He always wants to help you. Stuck on an assignment? He probably won't know how to do it, but the two of you can struggle together. Is it raining? Take his jacket, hell, you can even take his pants.

❤ He needs you to tell him that he's being helpful. He wants to know that you need him. After he does something kind, he will stand there, looking at you with wide eyes. Please say the words, he begs.

❤ Loving you means he needs you. You make his day better, you make him smile, his self esteem depends on your mood.

❤ He will get you small gifts.

❤ He will make it obvious that he likes you - in hopes that it increases his chances of you liking him back.

.

Gundham Tanaka

❤ Does he want to talk to you? Maybe. Will he talk to you? Sigh - yes.

❤ He didn't notice he starting to love you until his eyes would flicker to you whenever he would talk about himself. Are they listening? And it made him wonder - why does he care so much?

❤ This need for appreciation... he's hardly experienced it before. So what's so special about you?

❤ You're addicting. It feels as if you are draining his soul (in both a positive and a negative way), that he needs to be around you. You're in his dreams just as much as you're in his day to day.

❤ When talking about you, he'll call you his partner [in crime], and then cringe internally when he realized he said it out loud.

❤ When you look at him, he looks away. Always. As if he wasn't the one who was looking at you first.

❤ "Gundham?" You'll say. He will ignore you at first, and then feel bad immediately, turning to you with his low hanging eyebrows and his dull eyes.

❤ But if you're kind to him, he's going to lose his shit. He will be hiding behind his scarf, breathing hard, blinking rapidly while he tries to calm himself down.

❤ When you go along with what he is saying, his face develops such a cocky smile. So cute, he thinks, understanding me... you must be special.

❤ Sonia will tease him (in a very kind away) about it. She will give him unwanted advice on how to pull you, and she'll talk about the things that make her flustered and the things that make her like somebody.

❤ He listens but he does nothing with the information.

❤ He is not going to admit that he likes you. He would much rather you figure out, for him to make it obvious, than trying to claim you as his own and failing.

[ikeromantic]

Playing His Part

A Mitsuhide Akechi fanfiction. This scene is set well after the events of the romantic epilogue and features Mitsuhide and MC in a modern setting extended story. Approx. 1200 words.

First: Mitsuhide and the Maiden

Previous: Enemy at the Gates

Mitsuhide sat in the sterile waiting room, glancing out at the view of the city below. Clearly, everything here was meant to leave him feeling unsettled and in awe of the man that could command such a space. But he was not easily impressed and these minor discomforts were nothing to the horrors he’d lived through. 

He felt the phone in his pocket buzz. Once. Twice. Again. Annoyed, he took it out to turn it off. This instant communication had its uses but it could interrupt at the worst times. The messages were from Sasuke and Miyake. They wouldn’t write unnecessarily. His eyes scanned the text. An attack at the hospital. Everyone safe. The enemy, a false doctor, escaped. 

It seemed he would have little time to cut the head off this snake. So be it. 

The door to Tanaka’s office slid open. The space beyond was brightly lit and dripped with color. Jewel tones of ruby and sapphire and emerald. A palette of rich, deep colors that plaid out in harmony across a variety of antique vases, silk scrolls, and paintings. It was, after the relentless white of the waiting area, almost blinding. Mitsuhide might have appreciated the ploy, had he not been the intended victim.

Still, he played his part, glancing around with genuine surprise as he entered the hallowed space.

Tanaka himself was less impressive. Balding and slightly overweight, he sat behind the desk like an ōgama from a folktale. All the toad needed was a spear and rainbow breath to convince Mitsuhide he was dealing with a yokai and not a man at all. He did not get up, only eyed the kitsune warlord the way one might a dog that has just shat on the floor.

Mitsuhide bowed low. It was always wiser to appear less to a man that tried so hard to appear regal. “Tanaka-san, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

He nodded, his expression grim. “What is this about?”

“I wanted to come to you directly with this information.” Mitsuhide began to spin his story for the crime boss. A tale of missing shipments, faked payments, secret books. And the honey atop it all, the bait to catch a snake. “I noted there is a significant shipment going out tomorrow night. It’s nowhere in the reports sent to your office, but I have the dock reservation, the driver payment . . .” He let his voice trail off as if nervous. 

Tanaka’s lips were a thin, pale line. His jaw jutted out and his eyebrows drew down heavily. “I assume you have proof?”

“Yes, Tanaka-san. I can send it at your word. I didn’t want to accidentally alert anyone to my knowledge as I don’t know who is involved.” Mitsuhide stumbled over the words, gripping his clothes tightly. It was tempting to end this now. To leap across the desk and strangle this man, this villain, that caused him so much pain already. But he would not likely survive the attack, even if he took Tanaka with him. That was not acceptable. He must live, if only to kiss his little one when her eyes opened again.

“That was . . . wise.” He steepled his fingers. “Why don’t I know you? Juni? That was your name?”

“Akechi Jūbei. I’m only a low level accountant, sir. I would not expect you to know me. Had this theft not been so . . . clear . . . I would never have put myself before you.” Mitsuhide bowed again.

“Provide this data to Ana. She will review it and let me know if you are wrong. For your sake, I hope you are not. For mine,” Tanaka chuckled, “I hope you are.”

Mitsuhide was led from the room a few moments later by Ana. They entered the elevator and got off at the 10th floor. 

“This will be your room while I verify your information.” She gestured to a small, basic apartment. It had a bed, a television, a toilet, and a sink. Barely enough space to turn around in, but better than a hole in the ground.

“Thank you, Miss Ana. I’ll send you the files now.” Mitsuhide sent the signal to Souta and hoped again the boy’s talent matched his ambition. 

She nodded and shut the door. It locked behind her, which was expected. He didn’t mind much. The lock was a temporary annoyance. Even now, Daiki was faking his way onto a security detail while Itsuko joined a janitorial crew, and Souta would be here shortly as IT support. The building would be infiltrated and Tanaka’s vulnerabilities made plain. 

This was always the hardest part of any plan. Waiting. Mitsuhide laid down and shut his eyes. At first, he tried to focus on the details of their plot. What could happen, what should. But the darkness behind his eyelids was haunted by his little mouse. He missed her so badly he ached. Only a few days had passed but it felt a lifetime. 

Though he would never admit to it, he imagined her warmth pressed against him. The sound of her steady breath in the cool, dry air of this room. It calmed him, just a little. He did not sleep, but he did relax. Waiting until the workday ended and night fell.

No one came for him. They did not bring him food or water or check to see if he was still in his room. Mitsuhide sat up and pretended to turn on the television. He used it to hide his quick check for where the camera in this room was placed. It was above the door, barely visible but for a tiny gleam from the lens.

He checked his phone, knowing none of his team would write him here, where it might be observed. But an accountant would check his phone. Then he stood and went to the door. Tried to open it. Knocked. “Hello? Excuse me! I would like to get some food!”

Mitsuhide kept this up for several minutes until someone came. He timed it. Eight minutes to react. Distance? Or lack of concern? It was hard to be sure. 

“I would like something to eat,” he told the guard. A young man with a pale face and wide eyes. He looked like a conscript. Barely into adulthood and already in a bad place. 

“There’s no food on this floor.”

Mitsuhide frowned. “I’m very sorry to bother you with this, but I have been in here for hours! Surely I could get something? A vending machine? Delivery?”

The guard shook his head. “I’m sorry but no.”

“What if we split it? I could pay and we could share a snack together. I bet you’re hungry too.”

“I -” The guard glanced up and down the hall. “There is a vending machine on the second floor.”

Mitsuhide shoved some money into his hand. “Get whatever you like. I’m not picky.” He took advantage of the motion to hook the small, magnetic key on the guard’s wrist. 

“Fine. But don’t make any noise while I run downstairs. The other guard will come and we will both be in trouble.”

“Of course.” Mitsuhide smiled. “I don’t want to make trouble for either of us.” He hid the key up his sleeve smoothly.

This was proving to be a useful night. He had an entry key for at least the first ten floors, an avenue to blackmail Miss Ana, and he now knew the guards worked in pairs. Yes. A fruitful mission all around. The lines of his plot were firming in his mind.

Next: Serendipity

[shingia]

✗ GIVING THEM YOUR HAND AND WHAT THEY DO WITH IT

damn- for once i have nothing to say before one of my posts. crazy huh? anyways- enjoy <33

-> multi | 50% crack and 50% fluff?

-> reblogs are appreciated ✨

->|| grabs your ring finger and kisses it. checks your face to see how flustered you are. and if he thinks you’re not flustered enough he’ll add a little : « soon, i promise » (smooth asf i’m gonna cry)

KITA, iwaizumi, DAICHI, aran, sakusa, AKAASHI

->|| « oh perfect! » and starts scraping his teeth with your finger

KUROO, both of the twins let’s be honest, TENDOU, bokuto, tsukishima this lil sh*t, makki

->|| high fives you... (with more or less enthusiasm)

NOYA, asahi, LEV, KAGEYAMA, makki, ushijima, kyōtani, kenma, SAKUSA

->|| ...but kisses you right after because they either suddenly remembered you were dating, or just wanted to be smooth :) (i’m letting you guess who)

mattsun, HINATA, semi, suna, SUGA, yamaguchi (he kinda panicked, ok?), goshiki

->|| pulls your arm to make you fall over him, trapping you under his arms for as long as he wants to. and it’s useless to even try to move, because « you started this »

OSAMU, kenma, terushima, SUNA, konoha, OIKAWA, KUROO, iwaizumi, sakusa, MATTSUN

->|| boops his own nose

hinata, LEV, BOKUTO, noya, atsumu, oikawa, TENDOU

->|| gets up from the couch to move the coffee table, ignoring the look of surprise on your face. and once the coffee table is out of the way, he finally grabs your hand and leaves you no choice but to ballroom dance with him in the middle of the living room. yes, he is that smooth.

OIKAWA, AKAASHI, SUGA, KITA (yup- only caps for these men), tendou (probably a terrible dancer but he doesn’t really care), tanaka

->|| grabs a pen and scribbles something on your palm. and he doesn’t let you see until he’s done

terushima (wrote his phone number, then looked at you and whispered « call me »), bokuto (he went for the classic but effective « i love you », with a wonky heart at the end<3), kuroo (wrote « you look cute rn » then tried to draw a winking face, but the ink smudged and it looks scary af now), tsukishima (he just wrote « wtf are you doing ? »), makki (drew two stick figures, a house, a sun and a dog, and he titled his piece « us as fuck »), suna (he just wrote « it’s a permanent marker <3 »)

->|| gives you the best hand massage of your life. literally an out of body experience. this man has magic fingers and you should probably PAY him as a thank you

KITA SHINSUKE AND AKAASHI KEIJI. we all know it.

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