#each part was done in different moments of the month that’s why it’s so confusing lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nyanggk · 1 year

Note

Hi!! I really love your works and I've been a fan ever since, this is my first time requesting to you hihi. Can you make a scenario bf!enha legal line x experienced gf!reader? I saw a lot of scenarios bf!enha x virgin!reader but I don't see with experienced!reader. I hope you'll notice this request. Love lots!! <3

[MDNI] OOF this is right up my allley!! I've done a lot of inexperienced enha with experienced reader so im ver excited to do it again (I think it's very clear that I have a corruption kink) anyways, here's a short drabble for you sweet anon!

bit of a tmi but I literally had to edit this so many times because I kept calling them by my boyfriends pet name. I call him bunny and ITS SO CONFUSING

♡ * . ▪︎ LEE HEESEUNG — dry humping

lately, heeseung's been feeling too needy, and it's becoming evident with the way he keeps on whoring around your apartment that he's just begging to be fucked.

his fans might think, "awe he's such an angel," "lee heeseung is so cute."

yes, fifty percent of the time he is the doe eyed angel that everyone loves and adores, but despite your boyfriend being a virgin, he has the most sluttiest fantasies about the two of you, and its accompanied by the most erotic words. at this point, you don't even know how you've been able to hold out.

well, you kind of do. every time heeseung throws you his "fuck me" look it's always accompanied with a playful glint. one where you aren't sure if he's serious or not, and your not about to be the one who asks the other to be fucked. your pride is just too high to let that happen.

that's why it has taken him up til this point for you to realise;

currently, your adorable boyfriend has claimed his place on your lap. a night supposedly filled with the two of you watching an action packed movie turned to this.

well, he'll certainly be getting some action that's for sure.

it's as if all coherent reason has left heeseungs mind, erotic thoughts about the two of you pressing against each other's skin filling the atmosphere as he sprawls his whole body on top you, not even making the slightest effort to take up some of his weight. however, you don't complain, always savoring the moments he lets you baby him.

"what is it hee?" you ask, peeking a look at his face.

all he does is shy further, curling himself sweetly across your lap that you can't help but awe.

his eyes stare up at you, wide and innocent, and that's when you know for sure that heeseung is playing his game.

he likes pretending be innocent. like he's the most oblivious boy on earth. he takes pleasure in that. he likes to tease you with it, knowing how much you love him and the naturally adorable look his face has when his hair is down.

instead of giving you a clear answer, heeseung starts grinding himself on your thigh, knees digging into the mattress of your couch as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.

this catches you by suprise, and you choke out a groan. heeseung has never been one to do stuff like this. he's always just talk, but tonight seems different. tonight, he seems more desperate and daring, making you second guess his true intentions.

he hums against your skin, breath fanning it causing goosebumps to crawl down your skin. "need you so bad."

"fuck, hee." you sigh out, lifting yourself to adjust your positions, letting heeseung plop onto a more comfortable spot. one where it'll be easier for him to continue his rutts. "what's gotten you so needy?"

grasping his hips, you guide him to a pace you know he likes. spending all these months with your boyfriend makes you feel like you know even the parts of him that he has yet to discover.

thanking you, heeseung retracts his head from your neck, wanting to give you the delight of seeing his face as he moans. and lo and behold, the sight of him just makes you want to cum.

with his hard on guided by you, it drags along the tensed muscle of your thigh. "are you sure about this, baby?"

"mhm." he answers breathless, and mind probably too fuzzy to form coherent sentences as it clogs up in bliss. even with your guidance, heeseung takes his own pace, pressing against you rougher and faster. you wanted to let the sexual tension build up on its own, but it seems as if heeseung is done waiting. though, you wanted to affirm him first. so, you ask more of him.

with the hand that was previously guiding his hips, you slow yhen down to a halt, and he whines cutely at your restrictions. "need you to say it, baby."

"fuck," he sighs out when he feels you caressing his thigh, brows knitting with impatience. groaning, he continues on saying, "just take me already."

"now now..." you halt. "that isn't a nice thing to say, isn't it baby?"

"we'll see about that."

"i don't care." he replies defiantly and you just know you're in for a stand off with your boyfriend. "im a man. I do what I want, and i want you to fuck me."

safe to say that hours later, you have your boyfriend writhing against your thigh. clothes now discarded across the living room as you lean back, watching him roll his hips against you while he tries to please himself all on his own. after telling him that there was no way you'd help solve his problem with that attitude, heeseung has gone to lazily dragging his hard on to clumsily thrusting his hips. but of course, being the strong headed boy that he is, he isn't going to succumb to you without a little push.

his cockhead is rubbing a wet trail across your skin, the illuminating light making it shine while his veins seeming as if they're about to pop with the amount of teasing it's getting. "help me."

"what do you say, whore?" the cute nicknames are long discarded, vulgar once replacing it that affect your boyfriend all the same.

"fuck you. you're such a bitch." he spits out. still, he refuses to succumb to your wants as his need to rile you up seeming to be much stronger than his desire to cum. "I don't need your help. I cant get off on my own, mommy, please."

"sure, be my guest." watching him with a smirk, you know your boyfriend too well not to notice the expression of betrayal that flashes on his face when you easily comply.

unwanting to admit defeat, heeseung picks up his pace, hands planted beside your head, and gripping the head of the couch. his forehead is so close to yours, and all he wants is for you to touch him. to atleast kiss him.

"fuck..." he hisses when his tip meets your clothed pussy for a millisecond, and he looks at it longingly.

noticing his gaze, you rock your leg once, catching him off guard and making him yelp. "baby!"

grinning mischievously, you snicker, "yeah, whore?"

you're left to question yourself when heeseung lifts himself off. you lean forward only to find him kneeling on the ground right in front of you. with your legs that stayed spread apart to accommodate your boyfriend, you look at him in question.

"fuck you fuck you fuck you." he continues to mumble while shuffling across your lap. he's dug his own grave and now, all he wants is to claw his way back up.

"you smell so good..." he says more so to himself as he leans into your center, pointed nose digging itself in your clothed core. heeseung takes a deep inhale, your scent filling his senses right as he breaks.

"your mood swings are gonna be the death of me, hee."

♡ * . ▪︎ SIM JAEYUN — oral & marking

jake, you ever so sweet boyfriend, had just confessed his undying need to have you flat on his tongue, failing to give you the small tiny detail that he's a fucking virgin. the angel doesn't have the slightest idea how to start, and so he just sits there, pondering about what the best course of action was and if he should do it like the porn he watched.

no, definitely not like that.

he doesn't think you'd appreciate the step sister getting stuck in the washing machine trope all too well. jake doesn't have a step sister fantasy. he has a you fantasy. but he'll take any porn he can get that looks slightly decent.

now you know where all his knowledge came from.

"jake?" you ask out of concern when he doesn't move from his spot between your legs. you reach for him and he meets you half way, humming when he feels your run your hand through his scalp in comfort, afterwards leading your palm down to cup his face. "what's wrong, puppy?"

at your question, his eyes widen seeming to have momentarily forgotten about his small dilemma. he squeaks out a reply, answering, "n-nothing!"

jake watches as you giggle, unbeknownst to the true reason that you found him adorable in any situation, shy puppy eyes telling you everything you needed to know. but he has to tell you first. "I can tell something's bothering you, baby. so tell me."

jake was just about to give in before he decides not to, trembling at the mere chance of you feeling repulsed for his inexperienceness. instead of confessing, he abruptly tries connects his tongue with your dripping core. everything should've gone according to plan. with all the porn he's watched and the masturbation that he's done should've helped him— except it didn't.

instead of flattening his tongue against your whole cunt, jake misses and half his tongue goes against the top of your vagina, only the tip hitting your slit.

"jakey~" you call out, trying to mask your amusement, fully knowing that your boyfriend would become even more embarrassed. "honey, come here."

jake couldn't believe this is happening. its like a nightmare come true and he just sits back on his knees stoic, thinking that if he doesn't move for long enough, he would be able to disappear.

"you're disgusted with me, are you?" he says, refusing to meet your eyes in embarrassment. "I knew this wasn't going to work."

"knew what, baby?" you genuinely ask.

"this! I knew t-that if you found out I was a... yknow." he mumbles, nudging you as if he expects the rest to be telepathically delivered to you.

oh, it does. well, not telephonically per se, but you know. you knew your boy too well.

"that your a virgin?" you reply, smirking at him teasingly.

taken off guard, jake gasps into the kiss, and you take that as a chance to put your tongue inside his mouth. as you explore foreign territory, you release a grunt when you feel jake subconsciously suck on the muscle of your tongue. the usual kisses with jake are sweet and it's never like this. but everything is cute if jake is associated with it. so, although making out is anything but innocent, jake makes it feel like a dream.

"yes." he sighs as if to ready himself for a rejection, a break up, a disappointed grunt, but nothing of the sort comes. instead, he's guided up wards by your hands, pressing your lips effectively against him.

you begrudgingly pull away from him, however, the moment you do, you're met with the dazed look on his face, mouth parted in awe while his eyelids fall heavy with pleasure, and his head tilted back slightly as his mind buzzed. you just can't get enough because one look at his eyes, and the next thing you knew is that your diving in to suck on his neck.

however, all temporary pleasure must come to an end. you would've stayed on him for longer if it weren't for the fact that your lungs started to burn for air.

"ahh!" jake hisses when he feels your mouth suck harshly on his skin, surely because you want to leave marks.

leave marks? but... won't that mean that you're marking him because you want people to see it? because you want people to know that he's yours?

does that mean you still like him?

"y-you still... like... me?" he says in between pants.

goosebumps arise and jake is left to clutch helplessly onto your shoulder when he feels your breathy chuckle. you tsk, "you think I'm letting you go because you're a virgin?"

"w-well... yes. id think so. d-dont girls want more experienced guys?" he says, whimpering right after when you release his skin with a pop, leaning back slightly to admire the third mark you had planted.

"fuck, no. I want you just like this, baby." you mumble, lips staying pressed against his skin. "I wouldn't want you any other way." and like clock work, your lips go back down to kiss and mark his neck.

although jake loves the attention you're giving him, he cant help but feel like he has to do something. jake tries to be of service for you, desperately wanting to start something to show his use. noticing this, you take his hand, and guide it towards your wet pussy, lips flushing a deep pink due to your arousal.

"can I try again? will you teach me, please." he pleads with his eyes beaming with want and yearning while he cups your whole vagina in his palm.

"mhm. sure, baby." you agree, freeing him from your lips, and letting him sink back down between your legs. "just don't pressure yourself. you don't need to do good right away."

"but I wanna do good." he presses on while slowly moving his face close to your cunt. his eyes look at your pussy with longing and his mouth is salivating, waiting patiently for your queue because all he wants is to eat you right and for you to enjoy it. "now, hurry and teach me please."

you roll your eyes at your boyfriends antics, nonetheless scoffing out a laugh as you found his eagerness to be incredibly adorable.

spreading your lips apart, jake feels blessed to have a front row view of the way your slick clings to both walls, strings of your wetness connecting them before snapping. your hole is right there, gaping and he swore its like it's telling him to penetrate you.

"your pussy wants me..." jake looks as if he's in a trance. well, in a way, he kind of is. your hole is making it so hard for him to resist the urge to cum in his pants untouched. if he looks at it for a few minutes more he swears he'll do just that.

the way it expands and clenches around nothing looks so inviting that jake pokes a curious finger at your entrance. his finger doesn't even get half way past it before he's retreating, amazed by both the feeling and how it looks so wet, it's dripping.

groaning as he whimpers, jake looks at you pleadingly, begging you to come through with your promise.

"my sweet angel," you coo, swaying his hair back to show his damp forehead. "you're so eager to please."

nodding cutely, he hums, "mhm!"

at that, you grin, teeth biting down on your lips because you're afraid that if you don't, you'll lunge at your boyfriend and mark him up once more. it's a nice idea, but you know how badly jake wants to have his mouth on you, and you swear you could even see drool forming on the edges of his mouth before swallowing it down. "cute."

"thank you..." he trails of, eager eyes waiting for your instructions.

"you know what this is?" you ask, tapping your wet clit which causes a small wet smack to sound out and it's like music to your boyfriend's ears. when he nods, tongue darting out to wet his lips, you continue. "suck it, baby."

and jake doesn't need to be told twice.

quickly, his tongue traces your wet slit, picking up your arousal on the way before engulfing your clit in his mouth. he's so fucking good at it that he doesn't even need to be told before he starts licking your clit, tongue circling around your nub before sucking it between his lips again. you'd think that he's sucking you out like his life depends on it and to jake, that's true, because he swears to God that if he doesn't get to taste more of you, he'll die.

"good boy, jake. just like that." you praise, fingers fiddling with his hair as you watch him press his whole face onto your pussy, his tall nose digging softly against your skin as he caresses your thighs while helping you hold them open for him.

your cunt is salvating, envious of the attention your clit is receiving that you involuntarily start clenching around thin air as it awaits your boyfriend's attention. wanting to teach him something new, you nudge his head further down. "my pussy's asking for you, baby. won't you give me your tongue?"

that's all you have to say before jake complies, licking his lips clean of your arousal before poking his tongue inside experimentally. he groans once again as he tastes you, and your walls welcome his tongue with a delicious clench around it.

it doesn't take long before jake starts fucking his tongue into you, unconsciously placing his nose right on top of your clit so that with every movement, he not only stimulates your insides, but your outsides too.

surpsingly, he's so good you think you're going to cum sooner than expected. sooner than you usually do. the last thing you want to happen is for this to end. not like this, not this quick. so, you pull your boyfriend away, and he whines like a child whose candy has been stolen away from them.

he looks at you like you've betrayed him, like he's about to cry. "why did you do that?!" he whines, trying to go back in but is halted by your hand that's entangled in his hair.

"couldn't let you make me cum that quick, baby." you smirk, wiping the sticky liquid off his chin and cupids bow.

"why not?" he asks in pout. "i wanted to hear you cum~" he whines, eyes closing once he's realised that he's missed his shot, afterwards looking at you with squinted eyes, as if to tell you that he's mad and sulky.

"how about you let me taste you first? then I'll let you fuck me, you virgin." you offer with a tease.

smilling, he rolls his eyes in feign annoyance. when he realises what you just said, his eyes widen, cheeks flaring up afterwards.

"my dick? in your mouth...?"

♡ * . ▪︎ PARK JONGSEONG — blow job & handjob

it's common knowledge to everyone that jay has never had a girlfriend before. of course, along with it came his inexperienceness when it came to sex. back then, he thought that masturbating and sex were cringe. everytime one of his friends brought up any type of horny thought, jay wouod leave the room without a word.

now, jay regrets everything. he should've listened in when his friend told him about how his first time went, as well as the tips he offered to give jay in case he ever got lucky enough to get a girlfriend.

with his looks, of course he did. he just wished he knew shit. trust him, he wants to fuck you, and vice versa. he wants to eat you out, grope your breast, everything.

slowly, he started indulging himself in porn for educational purposes. however, the thought of him touching himself made him feel embarrassed eventhough no one was looking nor was it a crime.

still, its nice to know what to expect and get a grasp of what to do. yes, he knows porn isn't accurate, but that's all he's going to get because he's sure as hell that he's not going to talk about it to any of his friends. they'd make fun of him for sure.

however, after realising that you're the person that arose this drive within him, it only seemed fit that he asks you for guidance. after all, you are his girlfriend, right? it should be safe enough to ask you.

"yeah, kitty?" you ask, hand rubbing him through the thin layer of his boxers.

currently, you're seated against the headboard, jay laying comfortably on your chest and stomach on his back. he had managed to muster up the courage, and ask you for sex and to be honest, he feels incredibly stupid for even thinking that you were going to make fun of him.

continuing to massage him, you feel his penis slowly hardening under your touch, a sudden boost of pride filling you chest. "is this alright, jay?"

fuck yeah, he feels alright. he feels amazing. its like his whole world is spinning in pleasure and he's only getting the bare minimum of your treatment.

"kitty?"

"I know, baby. I know." you nod in understanding, feigning sympathy along the way as in actuality, you bask in your boyfriends shy persona, enjoying the way he asks for you to take care of him.

jay's eyes shut close, suppressing the urge to moan when you trace up the outline of his length, waiting patiently for his assurance. "yes, it's more than alright, but please, I need more."

you snap the elastic of his boxers across his tone stomach, making him jolt. "can I take these off?"

"fuck... yeah. do anything you want." he sighs, body leaning to lay on your chest while his head rests on your shoulder, watchful gaze eyeing the way you carefully take his boxers off.

this is the first time you're seeing his dick, and it looks so pretty you just can't help but stare, eyeing it like you want to devour it whole. however, your dear boyfriend doesn't seem to catch on, seemingly thinking that you were judging his length and how it looked.

"d-dont look, please." he asks quietly, a hand darting out to cover his dick in embarrassment. "I know 'm probably not the biggest you've had but— wh-what are you doing?" he can only watch you in wonder as you abruptly get up, leaving him alone to rest on the hard headboard of your shared bed.

"i need to have you right now or else im going to fucking lose my mind."

jay thinks you're going to leave and panic ensues. he swears he's about to tear up, but before he does, thankfully, the next words you say are catched by his sullen ears, and suddenly, the brewing tears are gone.

situating yourself above his knees, you grap your baby's thighs and drag him towards you. the reason? well, you just wanted to assert some dominance and hopefully, you'll be one step closer to clearing his invasive thoughts.

jay is once again taken by surprise when you suddenly take his dick in your hands, spitting on his head and using your saliva as lube.

your boyfriend can only watch in awe as you start pumping his dick, your mouth going down on him seconds later so you can get a taste of what his precum is like.

"shit! baby— fuck fuck fuck." he chants, mouth parted in awe as he watches you take half of his dick in your mouth. jay releases a dragged moan when you gag on his dick, your saliva dripping out of your mouth before taking it off so you could get some air into your lungs.

"you're so big, kitty," not wanting to leave his aching cock neglected, you let your hand pump him at a slow pace, one where your sure he's still receiving an adequate amount of pleasure to give you breathy whimpers, but not strong enough to build up his climax. "this dick can't even fit inside my mouth."

jay was just about to deny your claims when all of a sudden, you start jerking him off faster, effectively catching him off-guard and swiping his mind clean from his act of denial. "yeah, that's right. this dick is too big isn't it, baby? need both my mouth and my hands to make you feel good, huh?"

"n-no! 'm not big." he manages to grunt out, eyes still closed from so much new pleasure being given to him.

"oh, but you are." you snicker, filling his head with dirty talk as you lean down and lick a long stripe from the base all the way up to his flushed tip, and you don't miss the bead of precum that shoots out. "see? even your dick knows how big you are, baby. don't lie to me."

jay feels like he's on cloud nine as you continue to suck and jerk his length. truthfully, it does look like you're having trouble taking him all inside your mouth, but then again, maybe you just had a small mouth and he's nothing special...

it's as if you heard his thoughts because right on queue, you say, "shit, baby. you have the biggest dick I've ever seen."

and jay's once again left to hide himself in your pillows in embarrassment.

eventhough you don't want to, your mouth leaves his length so you can talk to him face to face, thinking that maybe if you do so, he'd see the truthfulness in your eyes and know you're not lying. "face it, baby. you have the prettiest, fattest, thickest cock out there. i dont even think you’ll fit inside me because youre that big."

"yn!" he screams out of embarrassment, covering your mouth. "shut up!"

"what?" you say after taking his hand away from your mouth. "if you're not going to accept it, I'll keep going on and on, baby. believe me, I can."

now, jay knows for sure that that isn't a lie. "now you have to let me try and have you."

the key word is try, because eventhough you aren't a virgin and is well expreienced in this field way before meeting the love of your life, jay's cock is making you question your bodies capabilities.

♡ * . ▪︎ PARK SUNGHOON — riding him

"hoon, baby," you call out to your sulking boyfriend, his eyes brimming with tears. "im sorry I got home so late. I was just busy with work that's all. there's no other man, pretty."

lately, insecurities have been running wild inside sunghoon's head. your past lifestyle was filled with drinking and hooking up with random people. you partied every night, bar hopping with your friends until you pass out and wake up in some guy's hotel room.

and then you met sunghoon. a guy who was forced by his friends to join some birthday party thrown at a club. he's the guy who stayed defiantly sat on the couch while everyome else partied around him.

eventually, he was introduced to you by one of his friends and immediately, sunghoon fell in love and you seemed to have fallen as well.

you were complete opposites. he was an introvert while you were an extrovert that could manage to strike up a conversation with anyone. you liked attending parties, he hated loud noises and clogged spaces. he was everything you weren't, yet it was astounding how fast you had managed to catch true feelings.

since then, you're lifestyle abruptly changed for the better. you went from partying at every bar in the country in one night to spending it clogged up inside your shared apartment with him. with him! sunghoon couldn't believe that you left all of that just for him. even your friends found it hard to believe at first, but when they met your sweet boyfriend, they knew you were in good hands. they had bid you farewell, cheering your relationship on.

though you've changed for him, sunghoon still can't help these thoughts that invaded his mind. every time you went out without him by your side, he thought, what if you found someone new? someone better than him and leave him? what if all of a sudden, you realise what you've been missing out on while being chained onto him?

"b-but I called you so many times! a-and a guy picked your phone up, saying that you were busy..." he says, a whimper falling from his mouth at the thought of you having someone else.

"baby," you call out with sadness, hands wanting to thread themselves with his so you can assure him. "that was my boss, honey. my phone was left on the counter when i was serving. he probably heard all your calls and picked it up." you say, booping his nose. "there's no other man, baby. there's only you."

hiccuping through his tears, sunghoon asks, "really?"

"yes, baby." you press, giving his hands a firm squeeze to shownyour sincerity. "i can prove it to you if you want. ill even tell them to open the cctv feeds."

you know sunghoon has these insecurities and so you tried everything you can to make them go away. you aren't the least bit offended that he thought you were unfaithful to him, because you knew that your boy didn't mean it in that sense. he always downplays himself. he always thinks he isn't worth it. but he is, and that's what you want to show him.

groaning, sunghoon wants to physically bury himself. feeling you wipe away the stray tears that have stained his cheek, new ones suddenly gush down at the thought of how caring you are and how much of a douche he is for assuming the worst out of such a small situation.

unable to contain his emotion, sunghoon catches you in a hug. "I'm sorry!" he apoligises mid sniffs. "i-i know you'd never do something like that. I just... I don't know why these thoughts keep coming into my head." he says, choking out a sob as he buries his face into your neck while his arms clutch you closer.

"I hate them. I want them to go away." he announces, a new found dedication pooling inside his dark eyes when he pulls away to meet you. "make them go away, please."

caressing his face with your thumb, you ask him, fully eager to help with however way you can. "what do you want me to do, honey?"

you watch sunghoons eyes shifting from your face down to your chest where his fingers fiddled with your jacket sleeve. you've come to notice the many habits your boyfriend has, and you know he does this when he's nervous or shy to ask you about something.

"will you take my virginity?" his voice is small and when he peeks up to look at your expression, and he's met with your shocked ones, he casts them away and bites his lip, too shy to maintain eye contact. "...please."

"awe but, baby." you groan, pulling his face close to yours by his neck. "are you sure that's what you want to do?"

nodding eagerly, he says, "yes, I wouldn't want anyone else to do it other than you."

you release a whine at that, feeling your restraints come lose with how he's begging you so cute and nicely. agreeing, you pull his head down to meet your lips, and fireworks suddenly erupt inside sunghoons stomach. every kiss that he has with you is electrifying and his body coils deliciously when you back him up against the wall. you press your torso against his, feeling the tent in his pants growing the more you grind yourself on it. with the hand that's on sunghoons tiny waist, you pull him forward to meet your thrusts, a breathy moan leaving your boyfriends mouth.

"I love you, baby. don't forget that." you say, lips temporarily leaving his.

sunghoon could see the change of color in your eyes, your gaze almost looking feral and it's as if you're going to eat him whole which only gets him harder because fuck, yes, please take him. "I love you too."

you hum, lips dragging against his and he tries chasing them, but you tease him everytime, making him whine.

"let's get you on the bed, yeah?" your hand goes under the black sleeping shorts he wore, caressing the plump skin of his ass. "I don't want you to have your first time here."

guiding sunghoon towards your bedroom proves to be a hard task when he doesn't want to ever disconnect his lips from you, resulting in the both of you stumbling over random objects in your way.

finally reaching your room, you turn the handle and push your boyfriend to lay on the soft mattress of your king sized bed.

feeling out of breath, sunghoon pants, chest rising as he waits in anticipation for what you'll do next. you said you were going to take his virginity, and he hopes you skip the foreplay and fuck him already.

"please, hurry." he begs, hands palming the tent in his shorts. "hurts so bad."

discarding your pants and underwear, you crawl on top of your boyfriend, sitting your wet cunt on his bare thighs. "where does it hurt, honey?"

"m-my dick." he stutters, feeling your wetness coat his skin.

"ahh, of course it does." you tease, crawling up to massage the tent in his pants in an attempt to soothe his pain and ready him for the pleasure he deserves. "cute innocent sunghoon can't keep his dick inside his pants anymore, huh? is baby tired of not getting his dick wet?"

sunghoon knows how much of a tease you are so he shouldn't be surprised at this point, but nevertheless, he whines in embarrassment, debating whether or not to throw his pride away and act like a whore or deny every allegation. the latter seemed impractical though, seeing as he is tired of being a virgin. he's had so many wet fantasies of you that there was a time where he had repeatedly woke up to cum in his pants for a straight week.

so, surrendering to his desires, he agrees, "yes..."

impressed, you nod saying, "then I shouldn't tease you anymore, shouldn't I?"

knowing what he wants is for you to go down on him, he nods eagerly. "yes! no more teasing, please. hoonie can't take it."

you make a sound of feign contemplation before finally agreeing with his words. "I guess it can't be helped. I have to satisfy my babies needs. aren't I the best girlfriend, baby?"

"mhm," he agrees cutely, eyes wide and inoocent as he watches you take his shorts off.

"will you be a good boy and grab a condom for me, pretty?" you ask, gesturing at the bedside table.

of course, sunghoon is a good boy so he does as he's told and retrieves the silver packet from your drawer. "extra large? how did you know I was... wait, why do you even have this?"

smilling at him deviously, you shrug as your hands massage the skin of his thighs, fingertips teasingly grazing his dick. "don't know. just had a guess."

at your teasing, sunghoon chooses to let go of the topic for now, wanting nothing more than to be enveloped with your warmth. he watches as you expertly retrieve the condom out of its packet, blowing onto it before rolling it onto his length.

this is the first time you've touched him there, and he can't help but release a quivered sigh at the feeling of your hands finally wrapping around where he needs you most.

pumping his length to make sure he's fully hard, you admire your baby boys dick; how it twitches when you pull your hand away, how clean he looks, and how the precum that's escaped his hole presses against the elastic. "see? fits so perfectly. I knew you were big."

"you look at my dick often?" he asks, a moment of courage passing him before it gets washed up when he sees the dark look of lust on your eyes.

your eyes don't stray away his length when you agree. finally deeming him as ready, you line your core above his length, eyes locking with his as you sink down on his whole length slowly as to let him adjust to the pleasure. sunghoon isn't able to maintain contact, the pleasure taking over him as he closes his eyes in the sensation. "yeah, been wanting to have you ever since I met you."

with heavy breaths, sunghoon watches as you begin to lift yourself off his length, only to go back down on him. it's all done in a slow pace, but sunghoon is already getting so worked up. sure, he had managed to keep his arousal at bay when you sunk down on him, but he knows that if you go any faster than this, he's going to immediately blow his load, leaving you dry and that's the last thing he wants.

"you good, baby?" you ask, small pants of your own somewhat making sunghoon proud.

"y-yeah b-but," he squeaks out, hands trying to find somewhere to grip and you notice, quickly giving him yours to hold on to. when he finds you, he grips onto you hard, trying to ground himself. "I don't t-think I'm going to last long. feels too good."

cooing, you lean down and even that small motion caused by your walls slightly tightening around his aching cock alone makes sunghoon grip your hands tighter. wanting to give him comfort, you give him a kiss on his cheek before you begin to rock your hips against his length. "its okay, baby. tonight's about you anyways. you can cum for me whenever you want."

the thought of him cumming for you already has sunghoons mind spinning and he watches your steady pace on his lap, a moan being released by him because of how good your walls feel. "y-you want my cum?"

"yeah, baby." you agree breathlessly as your stomach and heart fills with warmth. "want to feel you cum inside my pussy."

at that, sunghoon whines, head thrashing to the side at your dirty words. though he knows his cum won't be painting your walls due to the condom, the thought alone raises a wave of pleasure. "g-go faster, please. want to give you my cum."

"yeah? you're gonna give it to me, baby? you're going to fill my pussy up with your babies?" you ask, panting as you comply with his words and speed up your movements, hands staying connected with his as you plant them beside his head.

unable to form words, all sunghoon can do is clamp his eyes shut and give you fast and eratic nods, mouth too busy moaning and whimpering to be used.

you lean close to his ear, wanting him to hear every breath and whimper you make on his cock. "give it to me, hoon. wanna see how pretty you cum for mommy."

that seems to have done the trick as a few minutes later, sunghoon screams out, hips thrusting up to you as he pumps his cum into the condom. you help him ride off his high, only stopping when he hisses from over sensitivity.

watchin him pant, eyes still closed as he relishes in his first orgasm, you coo. "good boy, hoon. you did so good, baby." out of breath, sunghoon was about to thank you, but his words get cut off when he sees you taking the cum stained condom off his length, only to put the rubber inside your mouth so you can suck out all the cum that clings onto it.

CUT! hope you guys enjoyed this! make sure to like and give feedback because smut writing is hard because everytime I try to write a spicy scene, I end up getting too wet and... you know

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supernovafics · 1 year

Text

𝐌𝐀𝐃 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍

pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

word count: 5.4k words

summary: in which you want to get revenge on the people that killed your brother, but you needed frank’s help to do so

warnings: explicit language, death of a loved one, blood/mentions of violence, angst, implied smut

author’s note: i was working on this on and off for the past maybe three months (going through that never ending cycle of gaining inspiration and then losing it). and i’m so happy that it’s final done! and i really love how it turned out!! hope y’all enjoy<333 (full folklore series here!)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝and there's nothin' like a mad woman. what a shame she went mad. no one likes a mad woman. you made her like that.❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“Y’sure you don’t want to just stay here?”

Frank’s question didn’t surprise you, but that didn’t change how annoyed you immediately felt by it.

“I’m not letting you go in there alone,” You were quick to tell him, and you firmly buckled your seatbelt to show him how serious you were. “Especially because you’re only doing this for me.”

“I’ve done worse things.”

It was hard to rebuttal Frank’s statement because you knew exactly how true it was, but you still said something. “I’m coming.”

Frank only nodded his head at your words before finally beginning to drive the car the two of you were sitting in.

If it were a year ago, you would’ve actually understood Frank’s hesitance toward you coming because, in comparison to who you were now, you were completely different then. And sometimes, it surprised you how vastly your life had managed to change in just twelve months.

However, if it was also a year ago, you wouldn’t have needed Frank in the first place.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝now i breathe flames each time i talk. my cannons all firin' at your yacht. they say, "move on", but you know, i won't.❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Five Weeks Earlier

The pain in your wrist was what woke you up.

A part of you felt upset because every other night, the sleep you had been getting in your motel room located in the middle of nowhere Illinois was shitty, but the deep state of rest that you’d found yourself in that specific night actually felt really good.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you noticed was Frank Castle sitting across the room in the creaky wooden chair that you hated.

“Jesus Christ,” You said, shooting upward in surprise, and from the tug of your arm, you noticed why your wrist was hurting in the first place; it was handcuffed to the headboard. “What the hell?”

Frank dismissed your previous statements and instead leaned forward in the chair, squinting at you. “You’ve been following me for the past two weeks. Why?”

You mentally kicked yourself because, apparently, you hadn’t been as discreet as you thought you’d been. However, the man in front of you was Frank Castle, so it probably would’ve been more surprising if he didn’t notice you.

You took a moment to truly think about how to respond to him. The next words that you would say would be the most important, and you knew that this was essentially your “make or break” moment with him. That was why you had only been mildly stalking him for the past few weeks instead of approaching him at any of the places you had followed him to. Because you couldn’t figure out the best way to actually talk to him. What you wanted, needed, from him was so important to you, and you couldn’t risk screwing it up.

After Frank stared at you as you took what felt like hours to think of what to tell him, you settled on simply saying, “I want your help.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and his head cocked slightly to the side. “Who are you?”

It sounded like a fairly easy question he was asking you. But you knew that it wasn’t; he wanted more than just you simply responding with your name.

“Eight months ago, my brother was murdered,” You started and then stopped immediately. Those words still felt so foreign falling from your lips. “He got involved with this fucked up group of people that he thought were his friends at first, but then they wanted him to do a bunch of illegal shit; robberies, drug deals, kidnappings, pretty much any horrific thing you could think of. And when he tried to get out, to leave, they killed him.”

You left out the part about how you had been so close to getting him out of it all. That days before Jackson was supposed to board a flight to where you lived in Seattle, they shot him and left him for dead in the middle of a park.

You also didn’t tell Frank that sometimes you couldn’t help but blame yourself because you had left him alone in New York. Even though when you got your job in Washington, Jackson had begged you to go because he knew how much you had wanted the job and to get away from New York. The city that took your parents and left you as the only guardian of your brother since you were sixteen and he was five.

But that still didn’t stop you from blaming yourself. For not forcing him to come with you when you got the job, to get a fresh start like you wanted in a completely new place, sooner. Even though he was twenty and could make his own decisions, he was still your little brother, and you always wanted to protect him.

You didn’t say any of that to Frank, though, because you knew it wasn’t needed. That information wasn’t important to the task at hand.

Instead, you said, “And I found them. Exactly where they are in New York. What they’re doing right now, and what they’re planning to do. But I need your help. I know who you are and what you do, and I want those people that killed my brother dead. And you’re the only person that could possibly care and help me with that.”

Frank was silent once you finished speaking and your explanation just lingered in the air of the motel room. It was then, in that moment of quiet, that you were reminded of how badly your wrist was feeling.

“So,” You decided to break the prevailing silence. “Can you help me?”

Instead of answering your question, Frank posed a few of his own. “How do you know where these guys are? How do you know anything about them?”

Frank’s lack of a response to your very important question didn’t worry you. In fact, a part of it made you inwardly smile. Because he wasn’t saying no to you, at least not yet, and that gave you all the hope you needed at that moment.

“I work with computers; I.T., data analysis, it feels wrong to say hacking because of its negative connotation, but yes, that too,” You began explaining, happy to tell Frank what you had decided to look into a few months ago when your grief morphed from intense sadness to anger. “And these guys are idiots. It took me less than an hour to get into my brother’s phone, get these guys’ numbers, and find every single piece of information about the shit they’re doing. I tracked the warehouse that they’re set up at outside of Long Island, and I got into all of their phones, so I know every single text message and call they’re making at any time.”

Frank studied you for a moment, almost as if he was trying to see how honest you were being. “I wanna see.”

“It’s all on my laptop. In my bag, on the table by the door,” You responded quickly, and Frank was quick to reach into your bag and hand your laptop over to you. You gestured your head in the direction of your wrist that was still cuffed to the headboard. “Could you take the handcuff off?”

Frank nodded as he pulled a key out of his back pocket and finally unlocked the handcuff, taking it off your wrist. You almost immediately began rubbing it, trying to ease away some of the pain.

“It’ll be bruised for a bit, but it should stop hurting after a day or two.”

You didn’t say anything in response to that, although you did appreciate Frank’s words. Instead, you opened up your laptop and began pulling up the information that he wanted to see.

As he looked at your computer, you abruptly said, “Thank you.”

Frank shook his head at you. “I haven’t said yes. That I would help you.”

You simply nodded understandingly at his words. However, there was a certain look of intrigue on his face as you showed him everything you knew about your brother’s murderers that told you otherwise.

He didn’t have to say it aloud, and a part of you thought he might never actually say it out loud, but it didn’t matter because Frank Castle was going to help you. That was something you knew for certain.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝i'm takin' my time. takin' my time. 'cause you took everything from me.❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

It was nearing eleven when you and Frank pulled up across the street from the warehouse that housed the people that killed your brother.

A part of you felt nervous knowing what was going to happen, but the other part of you felt happy that something completely justified was about to occur.

“They’re all in there, right?”

You looked down at your laptop, which currently showed the pinpointed locations of the cellphones of everyone involved.

Apparently, from the text messages and phone calls you had been monitoring, there was an important meeting happening right then about the next robbery they were planning.

“Yes, they’re all there and have been for the last thirty minutes.”

“Okay,” Frank responded. “Then it’s time.”

You nodded and shut your laptop before placing it in the backseat. When you turned your attention back toward Frank, you noticed a certain look on his face that you couldn’t necessarily decipher, but for some reason, it worried you.

You almost asked him what was wrong, but he grabbed your arm before you could mutter out the first word of the question and handcuffed your wrist to the steering wheel. You were too in shock about what was happening that you couldn’t even put up a fight against him.

“Frank, what the hell are you doing?”

“Remember that conversation we had a few weeks ago?”

You knew exactly what he was talking about, but you didn’t allow yourself to acknowledge it right then. “I don’t care about the conversation. Uncuff me, Frank.”

“I’m not gonna do that,” He shook his head at you. “Instead, I’m gonna go inside that warehouse, handle this for you, and then come back out. Okay?”

“No.”

None of this conversation truly felt real to you. The plan that you had curated with Frank over the past weeks felt like it was going completely down the drain. And although sometimes, deep down, you thought maybe you’d be the one to bail out and change things up at the last second, instead, it was Frank forcing you to do so, and you couldn’t believe it.

He didn’t respond to your one-word protest and instead opened the driver’s seat door.

There felt like there wasn’t really any hope that Frank would change his mind, but you couldn’t allow yourself not to try at least once more.

“Please, let me go in there with you. I want to do this.”

He only looked at you for a moment before saying, “No, I’m not letting you do this. You’re a good person, and doing this will change that. As much as you think it won’t change you, it will. And I’m not gonna allow that to happen. So, just let me handle this for you.”

You didn’t get another chance to protest because Frank stepped out of the car before you could say anything.

He was protecting you, and you knew that. But, it also felt like after over a month of knowing one another, he still only saw you as weak, as someone that needed saving.

And that made you angry because you never wanted him to save you; you just wanted him to help you. You truly wanted to fight your own battle and hurt the people that hurt your brother, and he took that opportunity away from you.

As you heard the trunk pop open and Frank reach for the guns that he put back there, two of which were supposed to be yours, you couldn’t help but think back to the conversation he had been referring to only moments ago.

There was a certain thing he said during the minor argument that happened during that conversation, and thinking about it right then, with your wrist uncomfortably handcuffed to the steering wheel, it finally made you realize that maybe you should’ve seen all of this coming.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back? they strike to kill, and you know i will. you know i will.❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Three Weeks Earlier

You couldn’t put your finger on it, but there was something worse about the motel room in Long Island than the one in Illinois.

The smells there were far worse than what you’d experienced in Illinois, but there was something else too, something that you couldn’t fully decipher.

Maybe it was simply the place itself. You were back in New York, the city that took your parents and your brother too, and you truly hated being there. It no longer felt like any sort of “home” to you, and it hadn’t in a really long time.

However, knowing what you were doing there and what was soon to come made the smallest part of you feel good about being there. And you had Frank too, as both quiet and annoyingly bossy as he was.

“Why are we waiting so long?” You had asked him one night as the two of you sat opposite one another at a diner.

“Waiting is good. Waiting lets us know exactly what we’re up against. The guys may be idiots about keeping their shit off of computers, but they might be smart about other things,” Frank explained as he adjusted the hat on his head that he was using as part of a disguise. A part of you couldn’t help but reluctantly agree with his words. “Also, you need as much target practice as you can get. You’ve gotten better in the past week, but you’re still pretty bad.”

You felt absolutely offended by the statement but still knew that he was completely right. However, that didn’t stop you from rolling your eyes at him and dryly saying, “Thanks for the words of encouragement.”

“You’ll be ready when the time comes.”

You didn’t thank him for the actual words of encouragement and instead just took a bite from one of the last few fries on your plate.

The ending of that conversation left you feeling the tiniest bit hopeful, glad that Frank seemed as if he believed in you and that the two of you were actually a team in all of this.

However, on a different night, only a few days later, the conversation had been much different.

“Doing this won’t take the pain away,” Frank had told you. He was sitting at the foot of the double bed that was closer to the door, and you were in the other with your back against the headboard. The tiny television was on and playing reruns of Friends, as it probably had been all day. Your head immediately turned in Frank’s direction when you heard his abrupt words and as he continued speaking. “At the end of the day, he’ll still be gone.”

“I know,” You said, the two words coming out a bit sharper than you meant for them to. You cleared your throat. “But that doesn’t mean his murderers should continue to run free and keep doing severely fucked up shit.”

“I agree, but I wanted to tell you, so you can make sure you understand what you’re gonna do.”

“I know,” You told him. This time your voice was softer as you said the same two words.

“You’re a good person. Doing this, killing people, can change that.”

“You are too.”

“I’m not a good person.”

“I don’t believe that.” You were quick to shake your head. “You’re helping me. For absolutely no reason. There’s gotta be some good in you, Castle.”

He bypassed your statement. “Just think about this, okay?”

“My mind is already made up and has been for the past four months,” You told him before getting under your blanket and then turning on your side, facing away from Frank. You weren’t the least bit tired right then, but you were happy to pretend to bring an end to the conversation.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝what do you sing on your drive home? do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? does she smile? or does she mouth, "fuck you forever"?❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Over the next three weeks, that conversation never came up again, so you thought that Frank ultimately stood by your decision.

However, you were wrong. And you weren’t entirely sure how you felt about that just yet.

Yes, you were mad at Frank, but you couldn’t allow yourself to hate him until you heard a good enough explanation as to why he wanted to do this without you. And not one that solely consisted of him calling you a “good person” because that sounded like a bullshit cop-out to you.

It wasn’t long after Frank slammed the trunk shut and walked toward the warehouse that you heard the faint sound of gunshots. The sound startled you, even though you knew that it was coming, and you hated that the smallest, smallest part of you was glad that you weren’t in there.

And that felt like a betrayal to not only yourself but especially your brother.

You tried hard to push away the thoughts you knew would come next. The thoughts that you had successfully buried deep down for the past month you’d been with Frank. They were the thoughts that told you that you were to blame for what happened to your brother and that you should’ve tried harder to save him. When you thought about it long enough, the pain you felt from his death still felt fresh.

You suddenly felt insanely claustrophobic, and you started yanking your handcuffed wrist hard in efforts to get yourself freed from the steering wheel. Of course, that did nothing but only hurt your wrist even more. However, you didn’t care because at least trying to do something at that moment felt better than wallowing in silence and crying as you thought about your brother.

Barely twenty minutes later, you heard the sound of the trunk opening again. You hadn’t been paying attention to the sounds of the gunshots anymore, instead successfully dissociating yourself from the moment entirely, so you hadn’t noticed when they stopped, and hearing the trunk right then surprised you.

You roughly wiped at your cheeks, which were unsurprisingly wet with tears, because some things you couldn’t push away, as you heard the trunk slam shut. And then moments later, you heard the driver’s side door open, and Frank get inside.

He uncuffed your wrist without saying a word and especially didn’t say anything about the bruises already forming on your skin; from your pointless attempt to break free. He looked at your face— well, only the side of it, since you were staring straight ahead and avoiding eye contact with him— and he didn’t say anything about the fact that he could tell you’d been crying.

Instead, he just started driving.

You allowed yourself to take one quick glance at him, and right when you did, you knew that the sight of him with blood all over his clothes and face would never leave your mind. You silently wondered how much of it was his own.

Instead of asking, you turned your head and decided to stare out the window as Frank drove back to the motel.

“Don’t be fucking mad, okay?” He finally broke the prevailing silence after about five minutes. “It’s done and over now, and that’s what you really wanted, right?”

“Thank you,” You told him, words completely sincere, and you hoped your next ones came out the same exact way. “But, also, fuck you, Frank.”

He didn’t say anything in response to that, and you didn’t necessarily want him to, so it was a win-win situation in your eyes. Silence prevailed once again, and you continued to look out the window.

“There was no reason for you to come in too,” Frank finally spoke. “It was seven guys. I’ve handled more than that, and smarter ones than that, before. Too many times to fucking count.”

“That’s not the point,” You responded and then sighed, not having the energy to explain yourself further.

“Then what is the point?” Frank asked and then huffed when you didn’t say anything after a few moments. “Exactly.”

You let out a long breath before speaking. “I wanted to see them get what they deserved. I wanted to see them pay for what they did to him. That’s the point.”

Frank abruptly pulled the car over and looked at you. “So, what? You wanna go back? You wanna go see their lifeless bodies?”

You met his glare with a harsh look of your own and tilted your head a bit. “And what if I said yes?”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes at you. “It doesn’t matter because you wouldn’t say yes. You don’t have the stomach for that shit. As much as you keep trying to convince yourself otherwise, you’re not this kind of person.”

“You act like you know me, Frank, but you don’t. Like, how you keep spewing this shit about how I’m a ‘good person.’ Well, I’m fucking not.” You wanted to scream that at him, but you didn’t, and instead pulled your eyes away from his and went back to staring straight ahead at the empty road. “And you want to know how I know that? Because what happened to Jackson is my fault.”

“No, it’s not.”

You almost didn’t respond to him, but ultimately you did. “I left him, and he fell in with that group of people that hurt him. I should’ve forced him to leave the city when I did. But I didn’t. And I truly hate myself for that.”

That was the first time that you admitted out loud how much you blamed yourself for your brother’s death. And hearing the words finally fall from your lips made them feel even truer to you, and it also made your last sentence feel a thousand times more right as well.

You sincerely did not want to hear Frank say anything in response to any of what you had just said, and instead, you wanted the conversation to end there. He must have read your mind because he didn’t say anything else the rest of the drive back to the motel.

When he pulled into the parking lot, you stayed in the car as he exited and went to walk inside the room. He didn’t question you about what was going on in your head, which you were grateful for.

You sighed and let your eyes slip shut. A part of you wanted to cry, but the other part of you felt too empty and numb, so ultimately, you just sat in the car in silence.

It almost pained you to realize how right Frank was.

Now that this was done— you got your “revenge”— it changed nothing for you. Jackson was still gone, you were still hurting, and it wasn’t only that you lost him; you lost the final person in your family. Now you had no one.

Although you already felt pretty numb, you sincerely craved a drink of anything, and the liquor store down the road suddenly sounded like a really good idea. But, instead, you walked into the motel room and could immediately hear the sound of the shower running. When you closed the door behind you and locked it, you planned to force yourself to sleep and hope tomorrow would bring better feelings, even though you were unsure what you would do next.

However, when you saw the bathroom door open and heard Frank say the words, “I need your help,” you knew that you probably wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon.

He only had a towel wrapped around his waist, and if this was any other moment, you would’ve allowed yourself to admire his body and how good he looked, a fact that never had been lost on you. However, all you could process was the gash on his hip, where you could tell a bullet had grazed him.

“You’re bleeding,” You said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, that’s why I need your help,” He responded and then looked down at the open wound, examining it for a second. “It’s actually pretty deep so I need you to stitch me up.”

You hesitantly nodded and then went to grab the first aid kit that was packed in your suitcase and went over to where Frank was standing by the sink.

“I’ve never done this before, so it is probably going to look very bad,” You told him before bending down to start stitching him up.

He shrugged halfheartedly and glanced down at you for a brief moment. “It’s fine.”

You gave him a small nod and then pushed away the nausea you were already feeling because you had to do this.

For the first time that night, you felt like things were too quiet, and the sounds of Frank’s soft winces as the thin needle pierced his skin didn’t fill the silence in a way that made things feel any sort of comfortable.

Therefore, you decided you had to say something. “You were right.”

He didn’t say anything for a few moments, so you took that as your cue to keep going.

“The pain hasn’t gone away. And honestly, it might feel a bit worse than before; I am not entirely sure yet.” The fact that you weren’t looking Frank straight in the eyes as you spoke made it easy for you to continue to ramble on and say the things that you wouldn’t have told him, or anyone, any other time. “He was the last person I had, and now I have no one. And now that this is over, that fact just feels much more solidified. So yeah, you were right, and I’m glad I wasn’t in there with you. And honestly, maybe none of this shit you did for me really mattered in the first place. I don’t feel angry about it anymore. I just feel so fucking sad.”

There was more you could say, but you knew that you needed to stop there before you turned into a sobbing mess on the white-tiled floor.

“I didn’t wanna be right.” Frank finally spoke, and you stayed quiet, not saying anything more as you finished stitching him up.

“You’re done,” You told him before standing up and purposely avoiding his eyes. “And I need alcohol, so I’ll be right back.”

Frank furrowed his eyebrows at you as he went to slip on a black t-shirt. “Are you sure about that?”

You didn’t turn around as you walked toward the door. “Positive.”

Of course, you knew it was a bad idea, and maybe you should’ve noticed the wary look on Frank’s face directed at you, but right then, you didn’t really care.

Your journey to and from the liquor store down the street surprisingly took less than twenty minutes, and when you entered the motel room again, you didn’t waste any time unscrewing the bottle of dark tequila and taking a swig from it.

Usually, it took at least four shots for you to effectively feel something; even in college, your tolerance for alcohol had been good. However, this night you only needed to take two shots for your mind to feel fuzzy. You chalked it up to the fact that you had already felt pretty numb inside.

After your many persistent requests, Frank joined you and took small swigs from the bottle as well. The two of you sat at the foot of the bed that was his and traded the tequila back and forth as an old sitcom played on the small television, and a silence that you didn’t mind took over.

“You’ll be fine eventually,” Frank abruptly said as he placed the top on the bottle and put it on the floor, an action that you didn’t protest because you knew that it was definitely for the best. “It won’t hurt forever.”

Without much thinking, mainly because your brain couldn��t allow you to do a lot of thinking, you leaned your head against Frank’s shoulder and hoped that he would also be right about that because, quite honestly, you were tired of feeling sad.

“I truly hope so,” was what you wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t form the words on your lips. However, you still wanted to somehow show him that you appreciated his words.

You pulled your head off of his shoulder and turned closer toward him to let your lips softly press against his cheek. The proximity was dangerous, and it was in that moment that you let yourself recognize how attractive Frank was; a thought that had been off limits from the second you decided you wanted his help to kill your brother’s murderers because you knew that thinking about him in that way would only pull your mind away from the task at hand. But, now, the task was over.

Therefore, you allowed yourself to think about the stubble on his cheek and how it tickled your chin and made you want to smile. And you also thought about how nice he had always been to you, even when he showed it to you in a shitty way.

He might not have seen himself as a good person, but to you, he was.

You allowed yourself to meet his eyes for a brief moment, unable to read his expression, before letting your lips slot against his. You immediately tasted the tequila on his mouth, which sent a shiver down your spine but also warmed your insides.

For some reason, kissing Frank at that moment didn’t feel wrong to you, and you could tell by the way that Frank’s hand found your cheek and pulled you the tiniest bit closer to him that maybe it didn’t feel wrong to him either.

You slowly pulled away for a moment to catch your breath and maneuver yourself, with the help of Frank’s hands on your waist, so that you were straddling either side of his lap. When your lips found his again, you let your fingers thread themselves in his short hair. It was both slightly surprising and flattering to feel how hard he was beneath you, and the feeling made you moan in his mouth.

Abruptly, Frank pulled away, and your confused eyes met his gaze as he softly said, “You’re sad and drunk right now.”

Both things he said were very true, but that didn’t mean that you wanted any of this to stop.

“It’s okay. I promise,” You told him and started to slowly move against him. However, both of Frank’s hands found your hips and halted you. You sighed before letting out a soft, “Please.”

You hated how desperate you sounded at that moment, but you couldn’t help it. For once, you didn’t want to think about anything, and you wanted Frank to do the same.

He simply looked at you and didn’t say anything for a few moments. You could tell that he was contemplating things, but the fact that he hadn’t moved you off of his lap yet gave you a small sliver of hope.

“It’s okay,” You told him again and hoped you could convey to him how entirely true those words were. You knew that you wouldn’t regret this, even once your mind was fully cleared and devoid of alcohol.

He didn’t verbally respond to you and instead pressed his lips against yours, which was a response you liked better anyway. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss before matching his intensity with your own and passionately moving your mouth against his.

It didn’t take long for you to end up with Frank on top of you, clothes still on but wildly anticipating the moment they weren’t anymore.

For once, something actually felt okay in your life, and you couldn’t remember the last time that was true. Since your brother died, you felt lost; and perhaps even before then, that feeling wasn’t too far off.

It worried you thinking about what was next; even the thought of tomorrow scared you, knowing that somehow you’d have to go back to a life that was normal. But you didn’t want to think about that too much because doing so scared and confused you.

As Frank peppered harsh kisses against your neck, leaving marks that would definitely be there for the next few days, you knew that there was one thing that remained certain. At that moment, you wanted him, and he wanted you. Even if it would be just for the night.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

❝and you find something to wrap your noose around. and there's nothin' like a mad woman.❞

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

let me know ur thoughts<333

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x oc #frank castle fluff #frank castle smut #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle imagine #frank castle angst #frank castle oneshot #frank castle x you #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x female reader #jon bernthal x reader #jon bernthal smut #frank castle #the punisher

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thelov3lybookworm · 10 months

Text

You Deserve Better (part four)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

•○🌑○•

As the training session with the females of the Skyward camp came to an end, Althea turned from speaking to the youngest of the females present, a fourteen year old, her friend Pari walked up to her and gave her a smile. Aptly named as the name meant an angel. And she was just that. An angel. Pari was Althea's age, and one of the first women to approach Althea as more than their trainer, as a friend.

"Are you done?" Pari asked as the teenager ran back to her friends.

"Yes. She was the last one to be evaluated today. Is there something you had to say?" Althea asked as she threw an arm around Pari's shoulders and walked with her to the water station. Before Althea filled a glass for herself, she asked her friend if she wanted some. She shook her head no, so Althea proceeded to down the glass and fill it once again.

"Lord Casteel was looking for you. He asked me to tell you it would be nice if you went to see him when you're free."

Althea raised her brows as she placed the glass back. "Are you sure about that? Because I don't really trust you when it comes to me and him. I hope you remember that you have lied about him calling for me several times." And she appreciated it, knowing where her friend was coming from. But she still got flustered when Casteel stared at her in confusion, wondering if he had called her as she realised Pari had set her up.

"I don't see you going back to your home when I lie about it. You both stay together even after you figure it out. I swear I'm not lying today. But even if I was, shouldn't you be happy? I'm just trying to get you two to actually do something about yourselves. You both look like lovesick puppies by the way you stare at each other when you think no one's looking. It would really give us relief when you act upon your feelings because then we wouldn't have to suffer through the tension between you."

"It would give Me relief if You finally acted upon your feelings for Atlas. I'm tired of the tension between you as well. What about that?" Althea muttered. Pari looked away sheepishly.

"It's different. I'm waiting for him to make the first move."

"Then why do you expect me to make the first move?"

"Because you've been in love for almost a year now. I've been in love with Atlas for only a couple of months."

"That is no excuse."

"I'm shy. Is that a good enough excuse?"

"No. I'm shy too. Why–"

"You shouldn't keep him waiting. Go." Pari gave Althea's shoulder a light shove to get her moving.

"Shut up." Althea grumbled before starting down the path to her house to get changed before she went to meet Casteel.

After she had decided to stay, Casteel had offered her the house right next to his. As nobody had lived there for quite some time, Casteel had rebuilt the house and given it to her. Of course, at first he said that she could live at his place, but she had declined.

She got into the shower and made quick work of washing herself as she didn't want to keep him waiting more than she had to. Wondering why he would call her –as she always did whenever he asked her to meet him– she walked the short distance to the house next to her before knocking. Not even a moment after, Casteel opened the door, grinning down at her.

She raised her brows, even as a flush climbed up her neck just by having that beautiful smile directed at her. "Were you standing right next to the door, Cas?" He'd told her multiple times that he loved it when she called him that.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe?" Althea shook her head, walking past him towards the living area when he continued. "Mother knows the what the men who showed up before you did are thinking of me."

Althea turned to look at him, horrified. "Did you really stand here waiting for me to show up?" When he said nothing, her cheeks started burning. "Cauldron boil me. You are…"

"Devilishly handsome? Wickedly clever?" He turned towards the kitchen. "Stunningly charismatic?"

"That wasn’t what I was going for," I told him. "More like ridiculous."

"Endearingly ridiculous," he corrected.

That's when she noticed he was wearing an apron and had flour on his hands and hair. "We're you cooking something? I can come back later if you want?"

"No no. That's the whole reason I called you. I decided to make a nice dinner for the two of us... I mean, I was making something for a difference, so I thought I'd make it for the both of us."

"That's nice. Do you need some help?"

"No I think. It's almost done. You can come in though."

She tried to stop herself from smiling at his fumbling and walked toward the kitchen. When he said that he'd made dinner for them both, she'd thought... she wasn't sure what she thought, but it definitely wasn't the table filled with food. There was atleast five dishes on the circular table. And all of them were her favourites.

"You– you made all this?"

"Um yes." He was grinning like an idiot. "I was just kneading the dough for bread but heard your footsteps coming near so I went and waited by the door." He said while walking back to the dough and finishing the last of his work.

•○🌑○•

The two of them had moved to the living area after finishing up cleaning the kitchen. Casteel had brought out his wine and the two had somehow ended up sitting on the floor in front of the fire. The liquor had them so relaxed that from talking about the training they were giving the girls and others, they ended up on the topic of their love life. It had been bought up a couple of times before as well, but Althea never told him about her the incident which caused her to leave her home, and he never pushed it. He also seemed to be hiding something, and she pretended she didn't notice.

They were sitting in comfortable silence after Althea had bought up and incident with a human man after she left when he spoke up.

"Her name was Shea." Althea turned to look at him from where she was ataring at the fire. "I loved her dearly. I never thought I'd fall for anyone else ever. I also wondered if she was my mate. We hadn't ever taken it to more than make out sessions. She was my father's friends daughter. That's how we met. She and I wanted to get married.

"There was this rogue band of fae who were terrorising all the Illyrians. I was young and foolish. One day, I thought I could take them all by myself. I slipped out of the camp and flew to their camp, which was miles away, without telling anyone, and got captured. They treated me like shit. Like I was a thing, not a being. They made me do things that I never would have even thought about. They did things to me that I never thought would happen to me.

"My brother and Shea came to rescue me. While we were getting out, two of their cronies were waiting for us. I was mostly unconscious and drained, but I was conscious enough to realise that Malik, my brother, had been captured and Shea had bargained away mine and Malik's lives so that she could escape. In a sudden burst of energy, I somehow killed the two guards and Shea.

"After I left their bodies behind and stumbled away, I found myself near a river. But I was too tired, and fell unconscious and tumbled straight in the water. Later when I woke up, Kieran had already found me and brought me home. I couldn't feel anything. It felt like I was a ghost. My brain wouldn't stop playing those incidents in my head over and over again. Kieran was always near me, or my mother, or my friends, and when I went into that dark space again, feeling like i was a thing, not a person, Kieran or anyone near me would just say my name, and it reminded me that I'm real. You see, only people that I love and trust call me Cas. When you call me Cas, it reminds me that I'm real."

"Cas," Althea whispered, blinking back tears.

"Don't," he pleaded softly. "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I want..." Mother, there was so much she wanted for him. She wanted him to never have experienced any of that, but she couldn't undo the past. "I want you to know that you are always Cas. You were never a thing, and you aren't one now. You are Casteel Hawkethrone Da'Neer. A son. A brother. A friend. You are a King in your own right. My King. And you will always be my everything, but never will you be a thing.”

He smiled at her before turning back to the fire. "I still am searching for my brother, and it is hard, but when you are near, it doesn't seem so bad." He paused for a long moment before continuing. "A decade ago, I found Penelaphe. She was..." Casteel turned to look at her, studying her face before he said the two words. "My mate." Althea felt a pang of hurt and jealousy in her chest, realising that he wasn't HER mate. "She died in a battle with those exact rogue fae because of a bolt in her chest. I couldn't save her, but the one year I was with her, they were one of the best year in my life. Just before she took her final breath, she told me to find someone. To not mourn her and to be happy. I never thought I'd find someone, but then..."

"Then?" She whispered. He shook his head, and filled his glass again, looking away from her. She scanned his face for some time before she decided to tell him her story as well, her embarrassment be damned. And as she began speaking, she realised that wanted him to know everything about her. All the things she was insecure of, all the things she'd fucked up, she knew he'd never judge her. If he really loved her like everyone and Pari said, then he would love her, flaws and all. And so she looked down into her glass and began speaking.

"After my father was killed, I decided that I would go back to my normal self before those spring court bastards had destroyed my life." Cas angled his body towards Thea and stared at her as she spoke. "For my parents and little sister, I would do it. It took me eight decades to let a male into my room again, and by then I was almost recovered. I'd always had a crush on the spymaster, since the moment i laid my eyes on him. He was Rhys's best friend, so I knew him pretty well. What I failed to realise was that he liked my cousin, Morrigan. Mor knew about my infatuation with him, and told me multiple times to confess, but I was a coward.

"One night when we were at a famous night club in Velaris, I thought he was looking at me with lust filled eyes, but he was looking at Mor. That night was the first time he and I were together. This continued for some time, and it became our little fling. I thought that because many times he was the one to seek me out, he probably liked me back. Six moths later, it was starfall and I was tired of the secrecy, so I asked him to take me somewhere private. When I asked him about his intentions, he said he never liked me back. He was only entertaining me because he didn't want me complaining to Rhys, and that it was never meant to be more. That was when I realised that he was probably staring at Mor and I misunderstood him because I was so drunk. Rhys knew about it and wanted to kill him, but I begged him not to. I was so embarrassed that I left. It has been eleven years, and I still hear Rhys telling me not to leave, but I can't go back. I don't want to deal with the guilt of hurting them and having a confrontation with my family, and maybe it makes me a coward, but can't go back. Not yet."

"That bastard." Casteel was fuming when she looked up. "I'd always respected the spymaster and thought he was amazing. But I just want to rip him apart with my bare hands now. How could he–"

"Cas. Its alright. I've moved on. It still hurts how he rejected me, but its alright. I just wanted you to know because I trust you, and I needed you to know. Also, if you ever see him, please don't kill him. We might have to find another spymaster, and that'd be a really tiring job." She tried to joke, but he didnt smile.

He stayed quiet. "I know how much it hurts, but don't let a male who couldn't see what a gem he had guide your actions. I respect your choice to leave, but your brother loves you, and did nothing wrong to be hurt like that. I'm not saying what you did was wrong, Thea, I'm saying that you should meet with him. He probably is dying to just have a glimpse of you. Ignoring something doesn’t make it less true, Althea."

"I know that Casteel, but I can't. I can't because what if I somehow end up hurting someone again? And I'm sorry for–"

"Thea, I know. I just told you about my past, and about how I still sometimes have those memories creep up on me. So I know all about how the past doesn't remain where it should. How it likes to pay visits when you're at your weakest. There is never a need to apologize, nor should you ever feel shame. Some things can’t be forgotten or forgiven. I just want you to think about it. You think that people will be angry, maybe you'd fuck things up, but just imagine, what if they don't care that you left, what if they're willing to forget it all and just want you to be back?"

Althea nodded. "I have thought about it that way. But I can't muster the courage to do that. Maybe one day, I'll go back. Hopefully not alone." She mutters the last part under her breath. But of course he heard it.

"Who would you want to go with?" He asked, a smirk curling his lips and those damn dimples making an appearance.

"Shut up." Althea mumbled before stumbling to her feet. "Its getting late. I'll leave." But before she could take a step, she fell on the couch with a grunt. Althea had stopped drinking after she left velaris because she knew she couldn't handle it. She glared at the bottle of wine. "That damned wine."

"Why are you blaming the poor wine for your clumsiness?"

"I'm not clumsy."

"Yes you are. I don't think there's even one day that you go without crashing into things or falling about."

"Whatever. But it really is because of the wine. I'm telling you."

"As you say, princess." Althea blushed so hard she wondered if it would even work if she prayed to the cauldron to not let him see it. She looked away from his golden eyes, staring at the ceiling, but made no move to stand again. A few moments later, Casteel spoke up again. "Would you want to marry the person you love? Because many people don't want to marry, no matter how much they love a person."

"Of course I want to marry someone I love. I'd always wanted to get married, even as a kid. I wanted to marry a fearless warrior who would come and take me away on his beautiful horse." She snorted. "If I know I love him and he loves me back, I obviously will marry you." When he didn't speak for a long moment, she tilted her head to the side to peer at him. He was grinning so hard, she wondered how his jaw hadn't unhinged. "What."

"What did you just say, princess?"

"I said, if I know I love him, and he loves me back, I would marry... shit." She rolled to her feet as fast as she could and started towards the door, not caring that the whole place was spinning and she couldn't see where she was stepping. This was EXACTLY why she had stopped drinking in the first place.

She felt an arm around her waist and she flailed about before finally going limp in his arms. "Do you love me, princess?" His breath fanned over the side of her face as he whisper in her ear. Deciding that acting like a bratty child would do her no good, she pushed his hand away and turned to face him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"What if I do?"

"Then thank the cauldron because I love you too."

It took Althea a moment to process what he was saying, but when she did, she was speechless. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish, before deciding that it would be better if she stayed quiet.

He grinned and stepped forward, making her tilt her head back. Damned Illyrians and their heights. "So? May I?" He asked as he cupped her cheek and ran a thumb along her lower lip.

"Please." She rasped.

He closed his eyes, before opening them and tilting his head down. "Don't beg, Thea. You never have to beg." And then just before their lips touched, he whispered. "Please don't forget this."

And then he finally, FINALLY kissed her.

•○🌑○•

It had been two months since that night when Althea and Casteel had finally confessed their feelings for each other. She still stayed at the house next to his, but he had asked her to move to his house. She had agreed, and she was finally done with packing her things.

Casteel was helping her move the things and when she had tried to help, he'd handed her snacks –that she loved but then had forgotten about, then found in the back of a cabinet– and sat her down on a stool, telling her to rest.

He walked in from the front door again, having discarded his shirt. Althea said nothing as she watched him work about the place. She watched as his muscles flexed in the sunlight filtering in from the window.

"If you keep staring at me like that, we'll be here all day." He said without turning around. "This took this long only because you couldn't keep your eyes and hands to yourself." He mock chided her as he turned to look at her.

She slowly trailed her eyes from the corded muscles of his abdomen and chest to his eyes. "It wouldn't happen if only you learned to keep your clothes on around me." She said nonchalantly, but before he could retort, a rolled piece of paper thudded on the table next to Althea. She picked it up. "It's Rhys. He says he's going to some party near the center of Prythian. All other High Lords will be there too. And he wants me to help him pick an outfit. I swear this guy can't live without me. What would he do if I didn't exist?"

Casteel shook his head, grinning, and took the box in his hand to his house. She realised that it was the last box and all the work was finished. She was alone again when she pulled a pen out of the nowhere and wrote back to Rhys.

My favourite shirt of yours and your favourite pants. They go well together.

She surveyed the paper before sending it back to him.

THANK YOU :)

Althea grinned and wrote back.

What would you do without me Rhysie. Take care and write to me when when you're back.

The paper vanished before a tiny piece of paper returned with the word okay on it.

She went on to check on Casteel, not knowing she would never receive that letter. At least, not for fifty years.

•○🌑○•

As Althea finished up cleaning the kitchen and Casteel finished doing the dishes, they moved to the living room that was now filled with boxes. She suddenly froze midstep as panic filled her, someone else's as well as her own and Casteel jerked back so he wouldn't crash into her.

Rhys was trying to contact her.

She wondered if she should let him in, then put her walls down. She tentatively sent out a question.

Rhysie?

After a moment, she felt his the other minds that were all connected to Rhys's and a hopeful but panicked voice.

Thea? Oh thank the Mother. My love my sister. I just want you to know I love you. Even if I die, I'll be with you forever

What? Rhys tell me whats going on. Why are you saying such things? Are you back yet?

No. I'm so sorry sweetie. We're getting trapped here and I don't know for how long. Amarantha is somehow controlling our powers and please dont try to contact me. Stay where you are Thea and protect as many people as you can. Dont let anyone go out of the protective barrier.

Rhys can't you winnow back? Can I help you? I'll come there.

NO THEA. She has alreade taken most of my powers and I can't keep talking. Don't come hereand please stay safe with the guy you're seeing. All of you please stay safe. Please, I love you.

Then he was gone. She still felt the other's minds, but she tried to calm down before she said anything.

Hey? Thea? Where are you? Are you coming back? Cassian asked.

No. What happened? Is this about the party that he went to?

Yes. She was from Hybern. She is Clythia's sister, the one who was tortured by that human Jurian. Mor answered.

SHIT. Now what do we do? Can we not save him somehow?

He just ordered us to not try any stunts, girl. There is nothing we can do other than wait. Amren shut anymore questions Althea had with that.

Did... DID Rhys just say that you are with a guy? Azriel asked.

How in the world, out of all the things my brother said, are you hung up on that? Yes I'm with a guy. What are you gonna do about it?

Are you coming back Thea? Please, people need you here. Mor said before he could say anything.

No Mor, I can't. People might need me there, but they're protected by Rhys's power. The people here need me more than you all.

Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself? You just don't want to come back because you embarrassed yourself like, a decade ago and can't let go of a stupid grudge.

Althea winced. Mor that is not the reason and you damn well know it.

You are a selfish bitch who only cares for–

DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE MOR. Cassian cut in. DO YOU THINK RHYS WILL BE OKAY WHEN HE LEARNS OF YOU FIGHTING HIS SISTER? HE SAID IT HIMSELF. HE WANTS HER TO STAY WHERE SHE IS. DON'T BLAME HER.

Thank you Cassian. Also, last thing Mor, even if I'm a selfish bitch, atleast I don't have to hide and lie about myself. Atleast I have someone who loves and accepts me for who I am. I might be a coward as well, but you are an even bigger coward.

Althea said before she cut the connection with all of them.

•○🌑○•

Casteel stared at Althea, wondering why she had stopped so abruptly. Her eyes were distant, which meant she was talking to someone mentally. Then a flash of panic entered her eyes before her tears started flowing. She winced a few moments before she turned to him and fell to her knees, just staying there and looking like she had gone numb. All the while Casteel was trying to make sense of what might be going on.

He got onto his knees as well and pulled Althea onto his lap. She buried her face in his chest and finally started sobbing. "What happened love?"

She just continued sobbing for what felt like eternity to Casteel, because with every sob that wracked her body, his heart was breaking into pieces. He didn't know what had happened, and therefore didn't know how to best comfort her, so he just rubbed her back. Then he felt a shaky tap on his mental walls and he immediately let her in. He was flooded with voices, delivering the terrible news, telling her there was no way to help and saying horrible things to his beloved because of her decisions.

"Oh Cauldron. I'm so sorry Thea. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help." He rocked her back and forth as she continued crying.

"What– what if he– can't get out Cas?" She questioned between hiccups, staring up at him with tear filled eyes.

"Don't worry love. He WILL get out one day. I'm sure of it." He pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.

They sat there the whole night, and even though Casteel just wanted for Althea to not be sad, he held her through the night and let her cry her heart out, whispering words of reassurance and hope. He knew how important it was to not suppress and bottle up one's emotions.

When finally she stopped shaking, he realised she had tired herself out and fallen asleep. He gently picked her up, walked to his bedroom and placed her down before getting in as well. He pulled her into hospital chest and covered the both of them with his wings and slept. It didn't matter that it was already morning.

•○🌑○•

The longest part so far and I really like how it came out. Reblogs and comments would really be appreciated.

Also, Pari is my only bestie's name and she's my angel 🥹.

Taglist: @bubybubsters @Act1839

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munsonownsmyass · 3 months

Text

Frank Castle x OFC! Abigail Miller

Summary: It's time for the annual carnival and Abby has been looking forward to seeing Frank again.

Warnings: Nothing but fluff, lots of pining, two fools that really like each other and... a little surprise.

Notes: It's finally here. I'm sorry it's been a while, but shit happened. Anyways... it's here now. Hope y'all like it.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Words: 2.4 K

Part 2 - Masterlist - part 3

‘Pull yourself together. It’s just a county fair’. Abby had repeated those words every time she tossed a dress to the side. On the 6th dress now and still unsure which one to choose. Cause honestly, was it just a carnival? No, not really. Was it a date? Maybe not that either. Frank wasn’t even picking her up, agreed upon meeting there, so it really wasn’t a date, was it? And why was she this worked up, if it wasn’t a date?

She groans as she throws herself on the bed, sighing heavily into her pillow. This really shouldn’t be this hard. Just put on a damn dress. She turns her head, frowning at the pile on the floor. Well, Frank did call her colorful…

With a grunt, Abby peels herself off the bed and puts on a flowery dress. Not as colorful as the bouquet she got, but still bright and playful.

Good, one thing done. Now onto makeup and hair. She walks to the bathroom, trying her best to look as natural as possible, but still pretty. Looking into the mirror, she sighs heavily once more. She really needed to relax a bit. Just a county fair, just a night out.

She looks into the mirror in the hall, one last look over, before heading out. Just as Abby reaches for her keys, her doorbell rings. Great. Just what she needs. She really can’t be late. Confused and slightly annoyed, she opens the door.

She was not at all prepared for what she sees. Frank Castle. But he doesn’t look like the Frank she’s gotten to know over the last few months. His hair is shorter, but still with enough length for him to style it. The beard was trimmed too, now shorter and shaped.

Abby couldn’t help but stare. His face much more open now, she could really see just how beautiful he was. She already knew he was, inside and out, but now he looked devilishly handsome, sexy even.

Looking into his eyes, she notices Frank is uncomfortable, running his hand through his hair. It's then Abby realizes she hasn't said anything, just stared at him.

“I’m so sorry. I’m staring”

“Hopefully it’s a good thing?” Frank asks almost nervously. He’s obviously done it for her, wanted to look good for their date and Abby can’t help but smile.

“Oh, definitely. You look good!” She blurts it out before she can stop herself. Giggling softly, she tucks a loose strain of hair behind her ear, looking up to find Frank’s eyes on her, a huge smile on his face.

“Ehm, I mean…” she starts, wanting to downplay it. But she just gives caution to the wind. “You know what, I meant it. You look really good.”

He gives her a shy smile, looking her up and down. “Look who’s talking. You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

In that moment, Abby almost forgets how to breathe. Heart beating faster than ever before, she’s almost certain this has to be a dream. But luckily, it’s not. She actually has a date, or whatever this is, with Frank. And she really can’t wait to get there.

Once they reach the fairgrounds, the atmosphere is electric. The buzzing of the people, every single person in town there, apparently. There is music in the air, distant shouting from the different vendors in the booths and people laughing, talking, singing.

The lights everywhere are beautiful, the colors bright against the dark night sky.

Abby is one big smile, the memories washing over her. As a kid she always loved the county fair. The highlight of her summer, when visiting Nana. She turns to Frank, to say something, but stops when she sees the way he looks at her. “What?”

He smiles wide, his face soft and cheerful, as he looks at her. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen someone smile like that.” He starts softly, taking a step closer to her, brushing a stray hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek gently. “You really are a ray of sunshine.”

He moves closer, his eyes darting from her eyes to her lips and back. He licks his bottom lip and Abby almost stops breathing. She looks at him, silently begging him to kiss her. If he only knew how much she wants his lips on hers. Frank’s mouth quirks up into a faint smile, clearly loving the effect he has on her.

“Abby! You’re here!”

Frank’s hand drops from her cheek, as they hear Mildred shout after Abby. Clearly frustrated, they do their best to hide it, turning to say hi.

Half an hour later, Abby is still thinking about their almost kiss. She loves Mildred, but at that moment she wished her far away. She was still very much enjoying her evening with Frank, talking about books, the people in town, his favorite foods. But that moment just lingers in her mind.

They walk past the shooting tent, as someone walks away with a prize.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone walk away with the biggest prize.” Abby gestures towards the giant bears at the top. The ones so big, it’s quite comical. Who even has room for a teddy that size? But dammit, if Abby hadn’t dreamt of getting one, like you see in those cheesy rom coms on tv.

Frank shoots her a look, as he points towards the prizes. “You want the big bear?”

“Well, can’t say I’ve never thought about it, when seeing it in movies.” She bites her lip, feeling dumb suddenly.

Frank smirks as he takes her hand, pulling her gently with him to the tent. Once there he looks at the targets, inspecting the rifle, before looking at the man managing the booth. “How many targets do I have to hit to win the biggest one?”

Receiving the number required, Frank just huffs, a confident smile forming, as he picks up the gun. Pointing to the moving targets, he quickly takes out the first three. As he continues, Abby looks at him in awe. Sure, she knew he had a military background, but it’s something else seeing this.

Like muscle memory, Frank taps into something hidden, expertly taking out one target after the other, only stopping to reload the rifle. Even his stance changes, seeming like a completely different man. Him focused on the targets and her on Frank, neither of them notices the crowd forming around them. Frank has already hit more targets than necessary, now he’s just showing off, using the last bullets.

Abby has to admit it’s hot seeing him like this. Confident, competent, focused. Hell, she’d even call him deadly.

When he finally puts down the rifle, the crowd around them cheers. Frank blushes a little, clearly not that comfortable with the attention. He turns to the man in the booth, pointing to the biggest bear.

Almost squealing, Abby can’t contain her excitement when Frank hands it to her. Almost as tall as her, she disappears behind it. “Thank you, Frank. I love it!” she jumps up and down, before leaning closer, placing a quick soft peck on his cheek.

“Anything to make you smile like that, sweetheart.”

Abby’s heart instantly beats faster, threatening to break out of her chest. It’s just a stupid teddy bear, she tries to convince herself. He’s just being nice. But somewhere deep down, she knows it’s a lie. It has to be. She can’t be the only one feeling like this, can she? Abby can’t deny the feeling she has inside any longer, maybe she should just say something?

Before she can, though, some of the older men in town interrupts, talking about military stuff with Frank. Abby doesn't mind though. It’s nice to see Frank actually talking to people, slowly breaking down his walls.

Abby waits patiently, nuzzling into the soft bear, looking at Frank. As one of the older men starts yet another anecdote from Vietnam, Frank shoots Abby a glance. A ‘please come and save me before I die’ look. Abby can’t hold back her giggle, instantly making Frank smile.

Realizing that Frank is too polite to say anything, Abby decides to go rescue him. Faking some minor emergency, she manages to tear him away.

“Thank you for saving me.” He smiles, throwing an arm around her shoulders, plucking the bear from her arms with his free hand. “Let me carry that. You want some churros?”

Sitting on a bench, looking out over the fairgrounds, Abby looks at the giant bear, smiling. This has been the best night of her life. Happy and content, she takes another bite of her churro, as Frank talks more about his life before Bar Harbor. Well, the parts he wants to share anyways. It’s small stuff. Born and raised Hell’s Kitchen. Older parents. Rebellious kid. Then turned Marine.

“Where's Hell’s Kitchen?”

“It's in New York.”

She mutters a soft ‘oh’, biting into another churro. Wonder what made him move from a big city with so many possibilities, then why move here?

She turns to ask, when she gets interrupted by Frank laughing softly. “What?”

“You have a little…” he gestures to her lip. Before Abby can do anything, Frank sweeps his thumb over her bottom lip, removing some ice cream. Such a simple touch, but it makes Abby’s heart beat faster.

Now that she thinks about it, anything Frank does makes her heart beat faster.

He looks into her eyes, as he licks the ice cream of his thumb. Abby swallows hard, embarrassed by the thoughts running through her head. God, what she wouldn’t give to have that tongue on her.

Abby seriously had to pull herself together. Her plan for tonight was to get to know Frank even more, not lusting over him like a lovesick puppy. There were things she really wanted to know, things she felt like she needed to know.

“Frank, can I ask you something?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

Abby searches for the right way to word her question. She really wants to know more about his past but is still afraid. What if the reason he isn’t sharing, is because he doesn’t want anyone to know? What if it’s bad?

As if he senses her inner turmoil, Frank gently takes her hand, squeezing it gently. “Abby?”

She looks up into his eyes, before looking down at their hands.

“I’m just curious why a marine would settle for being a lumberjack in a small town, when he's from New York.” She pauses, looking into his eyes. His face falls slightly, like a shadow comes over him. “Sorry. It’s just… New York. I've always wanted to go. Seems like such a great place.”

Silence falls between them.

“I… I was betrayed by someone I trusted.” He pauses, looking uncomfortable. “I lost someone I loved.”

“Lost?” Abby’s voice is barely above a whisper.

“My…” Frank stops, the memories of it clearly hurts. His free hand finds it’s way to his head, a faint scar still there, barely visible. “I had a wife and kids.”

Abby sits in silence, horrified over his story, as he continues to tell her everything from the very beginning. How he had a friend named Billy who he served with, how he had lost his family, how he had set out to get revenge. In the end he just had to get away from it all.

Abby knows it’s true, but it all seems so unreal. His friend betraying him, the loss of his family, revenge… Left speechless, all she can do is squeeze Frank's hand, not knowing how she can ease the pain of these memories.

“I… I’m so sorry all this happened to you. It’s so awful.”

Despite it all, a soft smile spreads on Frank's face, as he looks into Abby’s beautiful blue eyes. “Something great did come out of it in the end.”

“Yeah? What?” she smiles, lightening up her face.

“I met you”

Frank cups her cheek, looking deeply into her eyes, like he can see into her soul. He leans closer and Abby’s heart pounds like never before. Her body aches for him, begging for him to come closer, wanting nothing more than his lips against hers.

As if he hears her silent plea, he closes the distance between them, his lips finally meeting hers. For a second, it’s like time stands still, all that exists is his lips against hers. His soft, plumb lips. God, she could keep kissing him forever.

When they break apart, Frank rests his forehead against hers, smiling wider than Abby has ever seen. And honestly, she was grinning too. She giggles softly, a heavy blush on her cheeks.

Frank leans down, capturing her lips in another sweet kiss. Abby, still giddy, eagerly reciprocates the kiss.

It starts soft and slow, but soon turns more passionate, needy. Months of want poured into the kiss, truly taking Abby’s breath away.

Frank grips her tighter, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Abby moans against his lips, eliciting a soft groan from Frank. Suddenly he breaks away, only a few inches, panting heavily. His breath ghosts her lips, before he finally pulls away.

Never in her life had she had a kiss like that. So much want and passion, nothing had ever made her quiver so fast. He leaves her a flustered, hot mess and she is already addicted, wanting more.

Frank shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortable. Abby notices how his erection is straining against the zipper of his jeans. Trying to suppress a giggle, she bites her lip, looking up into Frank’s eyes.

His cheeks are turning a soft pink, clearly a little embarrassed by his lack of self-control.

“Well, in my defense it has been a long time.” He shrugs, grinning from ear to ear. Abby just nods, relieved by the fact that women can hide their arousal better. If only he knew she was just as affected by it as he was.

“I’ll take it as a compliment”

“You should” Frank grins, putting his arm around her.

They sit for a while, enjoying the silence and each other. She snuggles closer, watches the people go by. Things are the same, but still, everything has changed.

“I have a confession,” Frank says softly. Abby looks at him, silently asking him to go on. “I had a plan to take you on the Ferris wheel and kiss you at the top. So our first kiss was special.”

Abby’s heart swells at his confession. So he had planned to kiss her all along. Even planned to make it really romantic, knowing she would appreciate it. Even though it didn’t happen, it’s probably the sweetest thing anyone has done for her. Or well, planned to do.

Feeling giddy and happier than ever before, she puts her arm around him, hugging him tightly. Abby plants a soft kiss on his cheek, before cupping his cheek.

“Well… I’m up for a ride in the Ferris Wheel if you are?”

Tagging: @e-dubbc11 @itwasthereaminuteago @chvoswxtch @theradioactivespidergwen @danzer8705 @lucy-sky @murdock-and-the-sea @mattmurdocksscars @boliv-jenta @darlingshane @pedrito-friskito @sio-ina-bottle

And some no pressure tags 🙈: @anna-hawk @feelmyskinonyourskin @chellestrash @chelseasdagger @loveroftoomanyfandoms

#frank castle lumberjack au #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x ofc! abigail miller #whisk me away #frank castle

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delehosies · 2 years

Note

letting vampire!eddie feed on you for the first time tho….

i know i know <3 taking a break from my late night studying so i can write this because omg he is perfect

eddie kissed down your neck gently, feeling his fangs grow to be more and more prominent as the hunger began to engulf him, the crave and desire for your blood grew, beginning to scratch at his throat. he pulled away from you quickly, practically scooping you off of his lap and onto the soft linen of your bed.

your gaze quickly found his. you were confused for a moment but soon understood just why eds pulled away after he shot you a small, sheepish smile. you had wanted eddie to feed on you for months now, you had practically begged him - but eddie dismissed your pleads, his fear of hurting you preventing him from daring to drink even a drop of your blood.

he hadn't told you this, but he wasn't entirely sure that he could control himself with you, there was something about your blood that was so incredibly inviting, in the most animalistic corner of his mind he dreamed of tearing your neck open and drinking your blood until all of the life was drained from your body. but eddie would never, he could never hurt you like that... he didn't want to take the risk.

"you're hungry." you state, staring up at eddie - it wasn't a question. you knew him, you knew him well. perhaps even better than he knew himself.

eddie shook his head quickly, too quickly. "nope." he was a bad liar, you could always see right through him and his desperate attempts to convince you that he wasn't hungry, wasn't craving your blood in the slightest.

"eds..." you breathed out, reaching out to take his hand in yours. you couldn't help but notice the way his hands shook - a side effect of the cravings. "please - let me help you, just this once." you began to plead once again, his lips parting to begin a protest - eddie wanted to say no, he should've said no. but he didn't, he accepted defeat and allowed his hunger to take control of every aspect of his body.

"i trust you, okay? i trust you."

he practically hung his head in shame, biting his bottom lip as his fluffy hair began to fall in his face. "c'mere..." eddie mumbled, holding his arms out to you. eds gently pulled you into his lap once more, his face brushing against the side of your neck - you didn't miss the sudden sharp inhale that came from him as he refrained from biting you that very second. "are you sure, sweetheart? it's gonna hurt at first, like... it's gonna hurt a lot."

you nodded, having already come to terms with the fact that you would be in a significant amount of pain for a good while - eds had told you about the night where he got turned, how he was writhing in pain for hours. of course that was different. he wasn't just drunk from, he was actually turned.

"it's okay." you whispered, allowing your eyes to fall closed as you tilted your head backwards - giving eddie full access to your arteries.

eddie began to press soft kisses to your skin once again, growing more and more desperate with each second that passed, he was practically taunting himself at this point. "i love you, i love you, i love you." he whispered, and before you could even register his words, the sharp stinging sensation of fangs sliding into your neck overcame your body.

a small whine escaped you as eddie began to drank, greedily lapping up every drop of blood that spilled from the bite. you were sure that you heard him moan at one point - though you couldn't be sure, you had never been so lightheaded in your life.

the pain soon began to melt into euphoria - and god, you never wanted him to stop.

but unfortunately for you, eddie soon pulled away, dark blood staining his lips as he stared down at you, concern prominent in his eyes. yet another whine left your body, your eyes weakly fluttering open to meet his. "done already?" you found yourself pouting up at him.

"done already." he confirmed, self consciously wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "i don't really want you to pass out... or to, you know, kill you."

#♡ inbox!#vampire eddie is my boyfriend basically!#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things #♡requests!#♡eddie headcanons!

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twstbookclub · 1 year

Note

Hello ! I just read the spins with silver and I cannot tell you how heartwarming it was, if I had to rate 1-10 about how melted my heart it I'd rate it 10/10 HAHAH

If it's okay with the admins, I'd like to request a Silver x GN!Reader where the special moments between them are Silver's most precious memories ! (aka: their first date, first kiss, etc.) it doesn't even have to be the major stuff, it can be the small things in life that he appreciates (maybe reader brewing him a coffee everyday, or him noticing reader's little doodles on his notes and helping him finish them when he accidentally dozes off, etc.)

(this is my first time requesting so please point out any mistakes i did when requesting !)

don't forget to take as much time as y'all's need, as well as prioritizing y'all's health first !!

thank you so much ! :DD

Recaptured Paradise

Summary: Silver takes time to himself to reminisce about the past that lead up to the romance story you both shared now. POV: 2nd Pronouns: Gender Neutral Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Silver, Fluff, Romance, Looking at the past, First memories, Silver looks at the past

Word count: 2,463

A/N: Hello our lovely readers!!! I was very excited to write our first ever request!! I do apologize since it did take a very long time but we did have other projects being done at the same time and there are life events currently, but regardless of that I hope you all enjoy!!!

Silver sat on the couch in the small apartment home that you both shared for a few years now, trying to keep himself awake as he searched through the internet quietly. He was looking for a gift for his partner in marriage, you.

He would take occasional glances at your resting body that used his shoulder as your pillow. "My sleeping beauty," he said quietly to himself with a gentle smile, and his eyes drifted from you to your hand. The ring on your finger twinkled in the moonlight that shone through the windows.

He suddenly started reminiscing when his eyes wandered and landed on your lips, instinctively making him leave a kiss on your head as you slept.

He couldn't help but look back at a few memories. "How did we get here?" He thought, then sat back to remember moments of years past.

The image of your genuine expression when you asked him on a date to the arcade shocked him at the time. Though, it was his fault since he mentioned that he wished to experience something new despite his busy schedule.

"Why don't I take you to an arcade?" He remembered that day as if it was only a few months back. The moment he agreed, your eyes lit up and looked like they held an entire galaxy in them.

"Honestly, I was hoping you'd say yes. I've been wanting to ask you on a date for a while!" Your words caused the entire world to stop, because little did you know at that time, he also wanted to ask you. Though, he never knew how.

You both had met the following day. As both of you ran out of class and down the hall to meet at the courtyard, every student watched, confused as to what was happening. That part didn't matter to either of you.

Meeting under a tree and staring into each other's eyes felt magical. Straight out of a fairy tale book. You were both laughing at how out of breath you two were from running, and knowing that you had the same idea made the atmosphere sweeter before it even started.

From showing Silver tons of games inside of the arcade building to him winning a stuffed animal out of a crane game, he truly experienced something different that day.

The date was followed by a short walk in the park to watch the sunset. You had insisted on it. It was worth it, because it gave him the chance to confess how fond he was for you.

He still vividly remembers how flustered you were from his sudden confession. He continued to ramble about how surprised he was that he didn't fall asleep halfway through. It was all because he was nervous after pouring unknown emotions out to you the best he could.

Silver smiled to himself at the memory. He couldn't help but remember how you two shared your first kiss.

You snuck out to see him as he patrolled around the Diasomnia grounds late at night. That day, you were convinced to confess your feelings to him, since you were so confused about whether he felt the same for you or not.

He tried to escort you back to the dorm so you weren't caught. You were stubborn enough to stay, but it was so worth it.

"No! I won't go home! I want you to hear what I have to say!"

"Prefect, please–"

"I like you! I have feelings for you! Even before the first date we ever had together! I have to say it now, or I'd give up trying any moment after…"

Those words had shocked him to his core. Deep down, he was so happy to hear them. His facial expression stayed blank as he was overwhelmed with emotion at your words.

Nonetheless, you had continued, but he was determined to hear it in the morning. Instead, he wanted to send you home. You didn't listen at all though.

"I know you might not like me back, but-"

Silver had cut you off by giving into his own temptation. His lips were so gently placed on yours, clueless on what to do next. He hoped to get you home, so it was easier to do that in a place where he knew people couldn't catch him.

You were utterly shocked, and you didn't know how else to react. The boy you fell for back during the Spelldrive Tournament was there, and he returned your feelings.

The kiss felt too quick. After Silver broke it off, you could say he was an absolutely flustered mess. You were too, so it felt like a perfect accidental moment.

After that day, that's when you two began dating. Funny enough, neither you nor him asked each other to make it official. Diasomnia students had seen you and Silver that night, and talked about it immediately. Word had spread around like wildfire.

Neither of you complained though, and neither of you noticed until later.

It took everything in Silver not to chuckle at the memory, holding back a laugh at how silly you both were back at the NRC.

Right after that, Silver started to remember the day you graduated. He was nervous around you, but he had a reason. They'd thrown you all a party to celebrate, but all he'd wanted that day was to spend it with you.

Lilia had helped him get a pretty hefty gift for the two of you a few months prior, and he was excited to take you there. The party didn't end until late at night, but he was still focused on showing you this gift since the longer he waited, the more nervous he got.

He'd taken you to an unknown building in a small city near Briar Valley. To your surprise, that building had the apartment you both lived in now.

At that time, the small home was empty, but it had so much potential to hold so many memories for the both of you, as long as you accepted it.

"Silver, what is this place?"

You were so confused as to why he brought you to an empty apartment, but it was insane to you that night. He let you roam around the place, and by the time you ventured around the last room, you found him on a knee in the middle of the living room. The same spot where he’d sit at the moment of reminiscing.

“I know that this is sudden and rushed and not as romantic as I hoped, but I don’t think that I can let another second slip by without doing this.”

Silver was nervous. Your expression then was pure surprise as he continued his speech.

“When I first met you, I only knew loyalty to the only family I knew and had. I was stuck in a constant loop of the same daily routine. The day you asked me out to the arcade, my whole worldview changed, and before I knew it, my loyalty extended to you.”

Silver paused as you had only listened to him. Your body had fallen onto the floor in front of him. Your heart felt heavy as there was a small lump in your throat at that moment.

“I realized that all of my thoughts had been overrun by you, by us. When I’m with you, you keep me awake, and are part of the chain that keeps me tethered to reality. I don’t think life could be the same if it’s not with you. No…”

Silver paused as he took a ring from his pocket, but your reaction to seeing it made his heart race through the entire moment. He knew what ring it was all too well, but you had only a brief understanding of it. He mentioned that the ring had been with him since birth, but that was all. Now, he was proposing with that same ring.

“It wouldn’t be life if every waking moment is not with you accompanied by my side. Not when I’ve grown to love you more than words can say in the past few years. So…”

Silver had called your full name before continuing, his free hand had taken your left hand into his own and held on tightly. He remembered how shaky his voice was by the end of his emotional outburst from the moment.

“Will you do me the honor of letting me be your partner, my spouse, even after death draws our final breaths?”

He let out a sigh of relief as he finished his words. He could only stare at you in anticipation. Your eyes felt teary at all of his words striking your heart in such a warm manner. You smiled at him as you gently squeezed his hand in the empty apartment.

Silver got distracted as you shifted around in your sleep before he could finish the memory. He fixed the blanket on your body when his eyes landed on the door, another memory coming up to him.

This one was the day you both had finally moved into that apartment. Silver helped bring in heavier furniture with the help of Jack and Sebek, even though Sebek was mostly yelling orders to the other two to get everything done a certain way.

Ace and Deuce were helping take items out of boxes and asking you what rooms they belonged in. Your job was to clean up the place and make sure that nothing went to chaos along with Epel.

That same day, everything had been moved into the right rooms, the only place set up being the living room. They had agreed to go out to eat since it was still pretty unorganized in their new shared home.

Afterwards, they’d come back to the door and open it when Silver suddenly scooped you up and carried you inside bridal style. It surprised you as you weren’t married yet, but you could only hold onto him as the sensation was making you laugh at the time.

You two didn't share a room as he felt it wrong to sleep in the same bed regardless of being in a relationship and under the same roof, but it didn't bother you either.

After that moment though, he would leave you on your bed but you didn't let him go. No one had slept by themselves that night, well… not really slept at all.

Silver snapped back to reality as he felt a small blush come up to his cheeks from the flashbacks. He looked around the room as his eyes stopped on the few pictures that hung up on the wall. Specifically, the one of your wedding day.

The smile on his face was so full of love and genuine care as the memory of the day played in his head, and his arm wrapped around you, gently bringing you closer.

He'd been a nervous wreck that whole day, and you'd been worried that something would ruin it. Though the wedding was small, it was fun for everyone invited. Sebek and Jack were crying together which made you and Silver laugh mid reception.

An afterparty held by all your close friends to celebrate was a big moment for the two of you. They all congratulated your marriage as Jade, Floyd, Leona, and Riddle had become like protective brothers towards you, telling Silver to take care of you more than he already had.

Everyone was great and made the party a night to remember. Once it was over, they all sent you on your way and took care of everything else, giving time for yourselves as they were all ready to say goodbye.

For a so-called "honeymoon", Silver had taken you on a horseback ride through the forest behind NRC, of course with permission from Crowley. The night was so sweet that it felt as if it happened only a few weeks ago.

Since then, the marriage life between the two of you felt just right. You helped make the small place a true home, while he supported you through everything.

Silver was so in love, and you equally. He stopped his daydreaming when you slowly opened your eyes from your slumber, sitting up and looking around.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Silver said as he gently patted your head, messing up your ready tangled bedhead.

"Sleepyhead…? Right back at you…" You responded with some tiredness behind your voice, adjusting to the moment. "What were you doing while I was asleep?"

Silver smiled with a small chuckle, and took a glance at the ring on your finger. "Nothing much, just looking back at some things from the past."

Your eyebrow raised in confusion but you shook it off, using his shoulder as a pillow again. Silver wrapped his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him.

Him mentioning the past made you reminisce as well. This warm embrace of his made you remember other times.

Running through the forest to lay in a quiet spot after and watching the clouds move. Making him a cup of coffee in the morning to get him through at least the morning. You made their home a true home.

Your moment was interrupted as a sound was heard from another room. Your old room since you moved into Silver's once you both began sharing a name.

"Seems like duty calls, doesn't it?" Silver said as he looked at the open door then at you, letting go of your body to rise up from the couch.

"It never will." You responded and got up after him with a big smile, heading off to the room while holding his hand. He followed behind, squeezing your hand out of excitement.

The bassinet in the middle of the room moved slightly as small, happy noises were made. Once seeing your faces, a giggle was heard as Silver took the baby into his hands. He made silly faces and sweet coo's to the little one, getting happy and loud reactions which made him laugh in return.

You watched while leaning at the wall nearby. The sight of Silver being a father was one you loved seeing everyday, and you were happy with all that happened so far.

Your actions stopped as you caught him looking at you, a cheery smile on his face as he said the words "I love you!" in a sweet voice as if he was speaking as his child.

You laughed and stepped closer, taking the baby into your arms and kissing Silver on his cheek as a thanks. "And I love you too." Silver said, making you freeze in place.

You smiled and leaned onto Silver as he wrapped his arms around you, placing a soft kiss on your head.

"I love you both."

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legolasbadass · 9 months

Text

Office Hours, Part 29

Summary: Lorelei Browning has just secured a job as an assistant professor at Exeter College in Oxford. Naturally, she is eager to prove herself and meet every challenge sent her way, but what she does not expect is the tall, handsome stranger who will quickly become much more than a colleague…

Relationship: Richard Armitage x OC (Professor AU)

Word Count: 2.4k

Rating: M

A/N: Apologies for the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter 😇 But now, answers at last ...

I tend to believe that I know Richard so well I can assess his emotions without difficulty. But now, as he stands in the doorway, his face partially hidden in the deepening shadows, he is a mystery to me. His low, quavering voice only worsens the sense of dread festering inside me, and I can only watch him in silence as he sits next to me on the bed and absently straightens the duvet that was crumpled during our lovemaking moments before.

“Remember, I told you that Stanley Griffin was interested in working on a project with me?” I nod to encourage him to go on as both dread and relief flood my senses. He is finally opening up to me—but what will he say? “Well, we’ve been talking for a while now, and … and we’ll be working on a book together.”

“Richard—that’s amazing!” I exclaim, but I am now more confused than ever. There is a weight in his voice that does not agree with the words he has spoken. When he merely gazes back at me, I ask, “That’s good, right? I mean, it’s an incredible opportunity—”

“I’d have to move there,” he interjects, then immediately sighs and rubs his forehead with his hand. “I’d have to move to Boston.”

My heart sinks to the bottom of my chest. “What?”

Richard swallows heavily, and when he speaks, his voice is even more feeble than before. “We can’t work on a project of this scope and depth while there’s a five-hour time difference between us. And Stephen has kids, so he can’t move here for a year.”

“A year?”

“Fuck—this is so not how I wanted to tell you about all this,” Richard groans, then scooches closer to me and reaches out to grab my hand.

“You’d move to Boston for a year?”

“Well, around eight months.” He gulps. “I was offered a visiting researcher post at Harvard, starting in September.”

I nod slowly, but my head hurts, and my heart aches. Eight months. Eight months without Richard.

“How—I mean … did you just find out now you were offered a visiting post?”

The shadow that falls over his face tells me I will not like his answer. “I just found out about the offer officially, but I’ve been in contact with Harvard for a month now.”

“A month?” If I were not sitting on the bed, I would have stumbled. Suddenly, it all clicks. Everything started after his first meeting with Dr. Stanley Griffin, and he would avoid the subject when I tried to approach it. He also evaded my questions about his research, despite having always been eager to share his work with me. I am relieved that it was not because his project with Dr. Griffin fell through, but that does not stop my heart from tightening in my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought—I thought we shared everything with each other—and this is huge!”

“I’m so sorry.” His voice is tinged with sadness, and it feels like someone has stabbed me right in the heart. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I mean … you and me, it hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been going so well lately—I didn’t want to mess it up. And I didn’t even know if it would happen and the last thing I wanted was to make you sad and distract you from work when I wasn’t sure what the plan was. I’m sorry, love—I hate to put you through this. ”

I want to scream and cry about how unfair and unexpected this is, but I cannot be mad at him. I know he did not mean to keep this from me. He has done nothing wrong, and he has never once done anything to hurt me.

“No—don’t apologize. It’s just a lot to take in.” I take a deep breath to calm myself, not willing to let him see the extent of my heartache because I know it would break him. “This is a really amazing opportunity!”

“Lorelei…” His voice cracks, and too late, I realize that his eyes are clouded with unshed tears. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I just did! I think this is amazing. I’m—so happy for you!” I say, and though I mean it with my whole heart, it hurts. It hurts so much.

“But what about us?”

But what about us.

“You can’t give up this opportunity because of me—of us. I won’t let you.” I bring our joined hands to my lips and kiss his knuckles as though trying to comfort myself with the fact that, for now, he is still here. “I missed out on a lot of opportunities because of Jason, and I regretted it so much. I don’t want you to regret this.”

“But I know if I go to Boston, I’ll regret missing out on this.” He gestures between us. “I can’t lose you, Lorelei.”

I frown. “Lose me? What are you talking about?”

His eyes are filled with tears now, and he gazes back at me with such a heartbroken expression on his face that I can practically feel the cracks widening in my heart. “I’d be leaving for almost a year. I could never ask you to just wait for me.”

Despite all the pain and how much I hate seeing him so sad, his words bring a small smile to my lips. Closing the space between us, I wipe away the tear that escaped his eye with the pad of my thumb before wrapping my arms around his neck. “You have a P.h.D, but you can be a bit daft sometimes,” I say teasingly, causing him to frown and pull back slightly in confusion. “An ocean standing between us for a year won’t stop me from loving you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

His eyes soften as he laughs in relief. Then, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me even closer. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do!” I say and kiss him softly. “It won’t be easy, but we can get through this. We’ll facetime each other all the time, and we can plan weekends when I can come to visit or you can come back here as often as possible. And there’s Christmas, of course—you can come home for Christmas.”

“Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, too, so I’ll have a break then, I suppose,” Richard adds.

“Right! So, see? We can—we can figure it out,” I say, though this time, I cannot stop my voice from cracking, and before I know it, more tears spill from my eyes.

He caresses my back soothingly. “Oh, sweetheart—it’s alright,” he murmurs, then lowers us back onto the bed, allowing me to rest my head on his chest as he hugs me tight.

“I’m sorry—I really am happy for you,” I say, swallowing past the harsh lump in my throat. “I’m just really going to miss you.” My voice fades to a whisper, and I bury my face in his chest. I know I am being childish now, and he deserves more from me, but the thought of being so far away from him for so long is almost unbearable.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” he breathes out. He presses a lingering kiss atop my head, then says, “But I haven’t made my decision yet. I have a few weeks to accept the offer.”

I look up to meet his gaze. “But you’ll accept, right?”

His chest rises and falls against me as he sighs. “I think so. But I just want to really be sure of my decision … because I’m going to miss you so much.”

Smiling wistfully, I say, “We’ll just have to savour every single moment we spend together until you leave.” I accentuate my words with a tender, languid kiss, one of my hands coming to rest on his chest, just above his heart. When we pull away, he falls silent, suddenly deep in thought; a slight frown wrinkles his forehead, but then he meets my eyes, and his soft gaze fills me with warmth.

“Move in with me.”

I pause. “What?”

“Move in with me,” he repeats, unfaltering as he reaches out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Let’s savour every moment, just like you said. I want to wake up next to you every morning, and come home to you every night.”

His words stir an overflow of affection in my heart, yet I say, “But you’ll be moving away.”

“So?”

“So what happens when you leave? I mean—am I going to live here for a few months then go back to my flat when you leave?”

“Of course not, love. I want us to live together even when we’re apart.”

“But wouldn’t it be weird for you if I was living in your house while you’re away?”

“It would be our house,” he interjects, and my heart flutters. “And no, it wouldn’t be weird at all. It would comfort me to know you’re here.”

“Really?” I ask in a quiet voice.

“Really. And plus, it doesn’t make sense for you to keep paying rent for your flat while the house would be empty.”

“That’s true….” I cannot argue with that logic, and he knows it. “But living together is a lot more than waking up next to each other every morning. It’s a huge step! Are we ready for that? I mean, we’ve only been dating six months… What if you discover all these annoying little quirks of mine that you can’t stand?”

I half expect him to become upset by my reluctance, but he merely smiles softly. “Little quirks you say? Like how everything needs to be placed just the way you want it in the dishwasher? Or how the duvet and blankets need to be perfectly positioned for you to fall asleep? Or how you’re always talking to yourself—when you’re cooking, when you’re looking for something, and especially when you’re upset?”

“Well … that thing about the dishwasher doesn’t count. It’s just logical the way I do it!” I retort, and his smile widens.

“I love you,” he says with a soft laugh. “And you see? I’m more than familiar with your annoying little quirks, and they only make me love you even more.”

I smile, suddenly shy. “So, living together…”

“Yeah. What do you say?”

I nod slowly. “I think that sounds like fun.”

“Really?” Richard asks, his smile widening and his eyes lighting up.

I nod again, this time more enthusiastically. “Yes. Let’s live together.”

In response, he pulls me flush against him and covers my lips with his. Both of us smile and giggle into the kiss, our heartbreak momentarily forgotten as we savour this new step in our relationship.

Living together.

Richard and I will live together.

I will fall asleep in his arms every night and wake up to his tired smile and unruly hair every morning. We will go grocery shopping together, cook together, clean together. We will each have our side of the bed—though these have already been established, I suppose. We will argue about who misplaced the television remote, then forget all about the annoyance as we cuddle on the sofa.

Living together will not always be easy, but I know that even on our worst days, I will still be happier than I have ever been.

“We’re going to live together!” I whisper excitedly against his lips between kisses.

Richard smiles. “Now I’ll finally have a woman to do my laundry and cook my meals,” he says playfully.

In response, I reach out for a pillow and smack him with it, and our ensuing laughter echoes through the room. Soon, Richard counterattacks by tickling my sides, not letting up even when I beg for mercy, and I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

A while later, still recovering from the onslaught of tickles, I say between shaking breaths, “I guess I need to tell my landlord I’ll be moving out. Oh and I’ll need to get boxes!”

“Well you’re not moving tomorrow morning, so you don’t have to worry about that right this second,” Richard chuckles.

“I know, but I don’t want to wait too long—I mean, you’ll be leaving soon, so ….” I gulp, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. Richard, too, falls sombre, and he tightens his hold on me. We remain silent for a while, simply taking comfort in each other’s presence, savouring each heartbeat, every little touch. Then I offer him a soft smile and say, “So tell me about this project with Dr Griffin!”

“Oh, let’s not talk about that tonight—”

“Please?” I plead, snuggling closer into his embrace. “I miss discussing our research with each other. Plus, this is such an incredible opportunity! I want to experience that with you.”

Richard’s eyes gleam with tenderness as he smiles. “Well, Stanley is also very interested in Shakespeare’s reinterpretation of historical material and historical interpretations of Shakespeare. We want to take a look at the evolution of interpretations of Shakespeare’s Richard III—obviously, that’s broad, but we’ll be taking specific examples from a few key periods to focus on.”

“You’ve wanted to research that topic for so long!” I say, recalling the countless times he has brought up the subject since I have known him. “Richard, that’s wonderful!”

His smile broadens. “Yes, it is!”

“How about you tell me all about it while I make you dinner?” I suggest.

“I like the sound of that.”

I return his smile, then begin to rise, but before I can step out of bed, Richard wraps a hand around my arm, gently urging me to look back at him. Even in the low light, I can see the deep love and tenderness in his gaze, but also the remorse and insecurity that overshadows them.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you sooner … I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t,” I reply softly, squeezing his hand. “Obviously, I don’t want there to be secrets between us, but more importantly, I want you to feel comfortable sharing these things with me, even if you think it might upset me. Sometimes unexpected and unpleasant things happen—it’s part of life—but I want us to face these things together.”

Richard moves closer, one of his large hands cupping my face. “You’re right—I’m sorry. I’m just afraid … I’m afraid of losing you.”

Leaning in, I shake my head and say, “No chance of that. You’re stuck with me,” before meeting his lips in a tender kiss, hoping the caress, if not my words, will offer him the reassurance he needs.

Taglist: @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @bitter-sweet-farmgirl @i-did-not-mean-to @xxbyimm @middleearthpixie @enchantzz @myselfandfantasy @notlostgnome @laurfilijames @swoopswishsward @quiall321 @dianakc @sazzlep @albionscastle

Let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list or tagged in future chapters! 💙

#richard armitage #richard armitage fanfic #richard armitage x oc #richard armitage x reader #richard armitage x you #professor au #office hours

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boba-tea-addict-1004 · 6 months

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🔥Kyojuro defends you (Nonbinary reader)🔥

This is part 2 to a previous post i made, though you can really read both in any order doesn't really matter all that much

⚠WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA and PHYSICAL ABUSE if that's triggering then feel free to skip⚠

A few months had past and you stopped replying to your parents letters. Kyojuro and you had really gotten closer since that day and you two even started to see each other romantically. you were certain you could leave that part of you in the past. However the past is not so easily buried…

“Little flame, you sure the recipe calls for red peppers?” Kyo said looking at the things you brought. The two of you were planning on bringing Ramen to a gathering with other demon slayers. You said you were going to prepare your mothers recipe however a sudden though crossed your mind while you were out shopping. You saw the chili peppers and though why not add a little something of your own to it. not like she was going to know.. right?

"it doesn't.. but it just felt right... i just had a feeling y'know" you said rubbing the back of your neck nervously

Kyo nodded "In that case, lets get cooking!" he smiled unpacking some of the other ingredients. chicken, chives, cabbage and other items. Kyo immediately gets to cutting the chives and cabbage while you get to preparing the broth and noodles.

a bit of time passed and kyo would occasionally sneak a few kisses on your cheek and you'd playfully do the same

you two were almost done when you suddenly heard the door. "i got it" you took off your apron walking to the door. you thought it was uzui since you three planned on walking there with him and his wives but the moment you opened the door you were yanked outside. you were so taken back that you didnt even realize who it was.

'the hell' was the only thing that crossed your mind.

"Darling calm down-" you heard a familiar voice call. before you knew it you felt you face get smacked and you were knocked back to the ground. you were confused but the moment you looked up you saw the last people you wanted to see in that moment. you were a demon slayer and you gone against much more terrifying forces.. but the thing you feared the most was the very hands that held you up when you were a child.

Your father was holding back your mother but you could still see the disappointment in his eyes. eyes that shared the same gleam of a demon's when they looked at you as less than human.

"How many times did we tell you! HOW MANY TIMES!!" your mother continued to yell

You felt your skin begin to form bruises on your arms and legs. at some point you felt no different than a scorned dog, but even then the dog would most likely get more respect from her.

Kyo heard the commotion outside and ran out. he helped you to your feet pulling you behind him and defensively squinted.

"We Raised you and Took care of you and this is how you repay us?! We raised you better than this!!"

Kyo had his arms spread wide and his stance was firm and unmoving.

your mother continued to yell about how you ignored them and how much of a good for nothing child you were while your father nodded and even spouted his own spiel at some point. Kyo wish he could block out their voices, make them disappear so you could feel safe.

Kyo narrowed his eyes "Is that all you came here for?"

they paused.

"Is that the only reason you came here? to berede them like this? your the ones who should be ashamed of yourselves. if they stopped wanted to see or talk to you it's because your to stuck in your ways that you see them as clay rather than a person. you think that if you break them enough you can shape them into what you want them to be. Anyone can have a child but that doesn't mean they are a parent!" kyo to a moment to catch his breath. you never knew he could go off like that but you let out a soft sigh. you knew for certain in that moment you'd found someone who will stick around for a lifetime.

Your mother stood there stunned with your father "Who exactly do you think you are!"

"I'm their partner. and if your still surprised they haven't told you about something like that then think about what happened a few minutes ago."

your father sighed "listen we know-"

"you clearly know less than i thought. if you think a half ass apology will be enough it's not going to work like that around here.. If y/n wants to forgive you thats up to them. but i dont want you here after what you did."

You mom raised her voice " (Deadname) you cant be-!!"

"Get. out."

and with that.. they left..

Kyo turned to you cupping your face "Firefly.. are you okay?"

you nod "i am now.."

Kyo then sighed "lets get you patched up"

you walk back inside with him to the bathroom, where he grabs a med kit and cleans away any blood and treats any bruises and cuts.

"Thank you.." you say in almost a mutter

"..For what?"

"..being there for me.."

He then kissed you and smiled "I'll always be here for you.."

You two walk to the kitchen feeling the aroma of the spicy ramen you completely forgotten about among the drama

Kyo had already took it off the stove to it would burn and poured you a bowl to taste "by the way.. i tasted it and .. i'll say" he turns to you with a smile "i think your take is fine the way it is"

#demon slayer #kyojuro rengoku #fanfictoin #tumblur fics #nonbinary #hurt/comfort #angst #kny rengoku #gender neutral y/n #gender queer

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theaudacitytowrite · 2 years

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Guarded Hearts

Loki x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is part if my 1k Follower special but escalated. Also sorry for the cheesy ending

#28: "Please, just open the door."

#62: "Say it again."

word count: 1.660

Footsteps echoed through the empty corridors of the Stark Tower as Loki and you strolled through them side by side with entwined fingers. For once it was quiet in the otherwise hectic environment since most of the Avengers were out and about to spend their scarce free time in the heat of the summer days much to the delight of the both of you.

You enjoyed the solitude together, the quiet mornings and the undisturbed togetherness. It hadn’t been long since your friendship had blossomed into something more. Loki had asked you to keep it private in the beginning since he didn’t want to give the others even more material to tease him about. If Loki couldn't stand something it was to be vulnerable in front of people he didn't trust fully. Neither was he comfortable flashing his affection around others.

You understood his concerns completely and didn’t mind it at all. If you could make Loki comfortable with keeping it low-key, you would do it gladly so yet you hoped that Loki would one day realise that it wasn’t a weakness to love somebody.

The first months into the relationship had been like a fairytale, with Loki being the prince you had waited for so long. He seemed like a different person when you were alone. He started to open up even more now, granting you glimpses of his innocent and true nature. You basked in his seemingly endless affection, the tender embraces and the endearing pillow talks you had when both of you just didn't want to sleep yet. With each passing day, you fell harder and harder for him.

But the fairytale seemed to pause any time you were in the presence of other people. Loki crawled back into his shell, guarding himself with a thick layer of indifference even towards you. Sometimes it seemed that he had regressed in his progress, sharing less and less of himself with the team which concerned you greatly. But as soon as the doors behind the two of you closed, it seemed like a switch had been flipped and Loki was back to his other self.

It hurt seeing Loki act so strangely again, especially when he downright ignored your existence in front of others. You knew he didn’t do it with malice but it hurt nonetheless. That’s why you decided to address it today while everyone was gone and Loki felt most comfortable so you could talk it through with him and find a solution to the misery.

On your way toward the living room, you pondered how to begin this sensitive topic. You hoped to strike up a normal conversation while you were watching a movie so you could slowly turn to the issue.

Loki and you had just turned the corner that lead into the living room when Loki froze for a moment before he hastily removed his hands from yours. Before you could ask what was going on your eyes fell on Tony who sat on a sofa, reading a magazine in silence.

“Oh hey, I didn’t think anyone was still here.” he greeted the two of you.

“Tony, since when do you leave your lab?” you teased.

“Alice is out getting lunch and as long as I’m hangry I won’t get anything done.”

“How convenient. Sometimes I wish I had an assistant as well.” you sighed dramatically, “How is Alice doing so far? It’s her third week, right?”

“Hm... I’d say she’s acceptable.” Tony mused.

“Such high praise from Tony Stark?” you mocked.

“I know, I’m feeling generous today.” he quipped, “The two of you would like her. Especially Loki would get along with her, I think.”

“Me?” Loki pointed to himself confused.

“Yes you, Reindeer Games.” Tony drawled, “She is quite feisty. I think you would really like her.”

“Hm.” Loki shrugged.

“No, really. I think the two of you would hit it off quite nicely actually. Don’t you think it’s time to widen your horizon? You’ve been here with us for almost two years now, it’s about time you meet new people, ...maybe date?” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at him, “It’s not like you’re already dating someone, are you?”

“No.” Loki almost snapped much to your surprise.

“Oh... did I hit a nerve?” Tony grimaced irritated, “Don’t tell me you’re already spoken for?”

“I’m not,” Loki grumbled.

“Great. Then it’s settled.” Tony jumped from his seat hurrying towards his lab, “Let me arrange it and you’ll have her number in no time!”

“What was that?” you asked slightly reproachful when Tony had left.

“What do you mean?” Loki acted as if nothing had happened as he tried to hold your hand again but you pulled away, instead hugging yourself for comfort.

“Why did you pull your hand from mine so quickly?” you asked to which he just shrugged, “Would it really be so awful if someone found out about us?”

“You know exactly why I don’t want to tell them,” Loki uttered.

“I know, but we’ve been together for almost 4 months now. Don’t you think it’s time that we slowly make it official?”

“Why would we?” he asked dismissively.

“Why? Well because I don’t want to sneak behind everyone's back forever. Sometimes I feel like you’re ashamed to be with me. But why? Because I’m just ‘a mortal’?” you felt how the anger took hold of you, all your prior plans of a calm conversation thrown overboard.

“That’s not true.” Loki shook his head sternly.

“Even if, sometimes you make me feel like you don’t really want a relationship with me. Like some sort of plaything, you can pass your time with. Because in one moment you’re this unbelievably sweet and caring man and in the next moment as soon as someone enters it’s almost like you don’t know me.” you explained, “Do you even want to be with me? Or was I just an experiment to see if you’re ready for a relationship?”

Loki didn’t answer. He simply stared at you, his teeth grinding against each other.

“No answer is also an answer.” you sniffled disappointed while you tried to fight back the tears that were blurring your vision. You stormed off to your, unwilling to let Loki see you cry. You hurried into your room and slammed the door. You sank down against it as you hugged your legs, letting the tears fall freely as you sobbed into your lap.

But it didn’t take long until a soft knock resounded in your room.

“Y/N?” Loki whispered against the door.

“Go away!”

“Please just open the door so we can talk.”

“No, we talked enough.” you croaked out.

And suddenly it fell silent on the other side of your door. You took a deep breath, trying to gather yourself and pushed yourself up from the ground when a green light shimmered directly in front of your feet. In the next moment, Loki materialised before you.

“Get out!” you threw your fists against his chest.

“Y/N I'm sorry.” he pleaded.

“Are you?” you taunted, “I understand that you don't want to present our relationship on a silver platter but is it too much to ask that you don’t pretend that I’m not existing?”

Loki remained silent as his eyes bored into yours.

“Look Loki, I really like you. I- I love you. I love spending time with you and talking to you and sharing my life with you but I can't continue it if you're not even sure of it yourself. I don't want to invest in my love for you if you can't even admit it existing to yourself.” you hiccuped. You hadn't planned of telling Loki your true feelings in case he didn't feel the same. But now it seemed to be irrelevant anyway. “Now if you would be so kind to leave.” you pointed toward the door.

“Ok." Loki nodded in defeat, "But I'm taking you with me.”

You looked at him in bewilderment as his hands wrapped softly around your wrists and a green cloud swallowed you. Suddenly you stood in front of Tony in his lab without having moved a single muscle.

“I cannot accept the date with Alice, I'm already madly in love with Y/N and I cannot cause any more pain for her.” Loki declared to Tony who was just as perplexed as you.

“Oh... ok?” Tony’s eyes darted in between both of you, “Good for you?”

“Great, then that’s dealt with.” Loki nodded satisfied, the green cloud forming around you once more just for you to teleport back into your room.

“What was that for?” you asked with wide eyes and stepped away from Loki.

“I officially declared my love for you.” Loki pressed his lips together tightly, “I’m sorry for my lack of consistency. I didn’t intend to hurt you like this. But I do love you, Y/N. And I- I don’t want to hide anymore if I would continue hurting you with it.”

“What?” you looked at him in disbelief as the words toppled over his lips.

“You heard me.”

“No, say it again.” you urged him. Loki watched you puzzled at first before it clicked and a smile started to spread on his lips.

“I love you,” he repeated, his fingers gently brushing away a loose strand of hair until his fingers rested at the base of your jaw, his eyes gazing down lovingly at you.

“I think you have to say it louder... I'm hard of hearing.” you breathed out shakily.

“Just let me show you then,” he hummed as he leaned down until his soft lips tenderly brushed against yours. The familiar scent of his smell filled your nose encasing you in a haze as you eagerly kissed back. You could feel your heart beat faster as joy and hopefulness hummed through your body. You wrapped your arms around Loki’s shoulders as you sank against him. Now you felt sure that your fairy tale would have a happy ending.

Taglist: @lucywrites02 @funsized-mimi @gaitwae @queenjosielaufeyson @1marvelnerd3000 @darkacademicfrom2021 @lostgreekgod @tendertalesmain @donttouchmylaevateinn @asgardianprincess1050 @msturi2u @high-functioning-lokipath @elius-learns-to-write @plainlo-inthemorning @kokinu09 @midnights-ramblings @donaweasley @itsreallyjustmeh @sititran @lindsey-laufeyson @ethanshide @delaber @anonymousfiction211 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @iamalinarose @xorpsbane @vbecker10 @limiworld @ilovefanfictions @crazzycrackers04 @tinctureofmaddness @marvelfanfn2187a113 @cosplayingwitch @sylvies4ever @tanushreeg27 @kellatron55 @loveshineslikethesky @scram1326 @camerons-specialinterest @mooncat163 @leucoratia @acefeather2002 @mochie85 @usagishira @michelleleewise @mischief2sarawr @lokidbadguy @ozymdias

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki drabble #loki oneshot #loki fic #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #loki odinson #1k follower celebration #MARVEL FANDOM #Loki Fandom #loki and reader

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iamdarkness · 4 days

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Nexus

Lif x Summoner, Lif x reader / Implied platonic Alfonse x Summoner, Alfonse x reader.

NSFW from first sentence.

Lif and the summoner find each other thanks to an unlikely person and Lif's questionable decisions.

Also a look into Embla's hidden night life and secrets. Set before and after the siege to Veronica's castle in book 5.

May do a second part. I know I should be working on the other ones but I swear I had this one sitting there for like a year and I was debating whether to post it of not. Hope you like it.

Nexus

-Say my name! Say it!- The husky voice says on the woman’s ears. He is taking her from behind. It comes muffled by the white and gold embroidered hood that covers all of her head and most of the face. She can hardly hear it over her own moans too. His trusts are relentless and rhythmic, his length reaching deeper than anyone she had ever been with. Between moans she manages to breath and utter the name he desperately wanted to hear.

-Alfonse! Alfonse! Ahh!!

-NO! Not Alfonse! Say it!

Not confused by the request, the woman remembers the other times he had done this to her. She switches to his other name.

-Lif! Oh God Lif! I… please!!- She pleads even though there is no god she believes in. This is what he wants and so she will deliver.

A few more rough trusts on his part and she reaches her limit. When he feels her release, he takes his final trust then she feels him withdraw. After a short moment he kisses the top of her hooded head. She stays unmoving and knowing full well why he does not kiss her instead.

- _______….My ______. My dear summoner.- She hears him come in his hand like all the other times he has done this. She does not dare to look back at his ruby red eyes. She feels drained of all energy after such a energetic session, but she stays put. A moment later she feels him lean on her back and rest his head on hers. She hears him whisper something and can make out some words he repeats like a prayer.

-Soon my love….I will return you to me. Soon…- He sighs, a sigh she knows he does not need and remembering it, makes her shiver. This must have brought him back to reality, because he raises himself from the bed and she hears him start to dress up.

-Take it off.- His monotone voice reach her still hazy mind. She knows what he meant and she complies. She starts taking off the hooded coat and turning a little so she can do it faster and catches a glimpse of him standing near the door.

-Turn around. I don’t want to see your face. -He says in a rough voice. Such a different tone that some moments ago. She takes the garment off. She was wearing a night gown underneath without underwear.

-I…You can come inside me…I am ready for this…I assure y…

-Do I not pay you enough for your silence?

-Yes… I just wanted to serve you better.

-Then keep quiet. I will be back next month…here.- He lets some gold coins fall on her bed. She does not turn around but takes the coins. It is much more than she would do in a month by herself. He takes the coat and folds it neatly to place it inside a travel bag. Done this, he opens the door and leaves without a further word.

The woman starts crying. She is not sure why her heart feels so heavy. The first time he had come to her, he had scared her, but she needed the money. He had made requests and offered a lot of money for it. The following times he had learned a lot about him even if he did not talked to her. He was dead and had been brought back to life it was obvious, but he looked like he had been a very handsome man in life. He was a great lover too. Sometimes he was gentle and loving and sometimes he was rough but not in a bad way.

He loved that woman and she knew who that woman was. She was the summoner of the Askran Kingdom. She wondered then if this warrior was one of the fallen heroes the Summoner used in the war. Her lover perhaps. If that was so, then…it meant he loved her when he was alive and his love endured after death.

And then she understood her feelings. She was sad. Not only for him, who had died loving someone and was probably afraid to bee seen the way he was, but for his summoner as well. Did she even know he still walked the living world? Does she love him back? Did she grieve his death?….Then there was Her… She was here in the Emblian South city of Renar ; a whore not by choice, living this sad life. If only someone would love her the way this man did his Summoner…even if he was dead…

=NO!….Do not even think about this…this is just a job…Soon we will be able to leave the city and my sister will never have to suffer what I have. We will have a house of our own and some cows…And this will be in the past and forgotten… I will forget him…just like he will forget me….but…what about the Summoner?…=

[line break]

It was almost dawn when she heard the silent footfalls of Lif’s booted feet. Her scarlet eyes did not move from her target. The Emblian Castle so much like her own home stood right in front of her. She stood on the roof of the tallest building in the South City. He was late, but she would not say anything. It was not that she feared his anger. He seldom was cross at her. She knew it was all a facade to keep others at bay and enemies afraid anyway. Besides, he new she disapproved of his monthly escapades. They not only were risky and a waste of time but she considered them … how would she word it? Oh yeah…cheating.

For all the indifference he voiced so loudly against the Summoner, she knew how he felt. He could deny it all he wanted, but he had stolen that jacket from the castle the last time he had entered it to spy on that Summoner…. err The Order of Heroes or so he had said. So if he loved that Summoner so much why visit not only other women but a common whore, only because she had the same height and constitution of the Summoner. Thrasir had never fallen in love, but she knew that if her lover where to do this kind of action she would surely dismember them…and then brake up with them.

- Any news from Zacharias? - He asks avoiding her eyes. She looks sideways at him and does not answer.-Let it go Veronica. - He says tiredly. He had enough with his own disgust and self hatred to be judged by her as well.

-He has not returned yet, but…Loki was telling Veronica there are rumors of war from another realm. The target may be Askr, but she said to be ready just in case. It is just as we were told. We should ask Thorr for more information. - She said as neither of them trusted Loki. Not that they trusted Thorr to begin with but at least the Goddess did not lie for fun.

-Mmm. It may be wise. It also may be a good chance to find out more about the Alfather and his plan. Come, let us go to the base. - Their base being an abandoned country home the Askran Royal Family did not use any more. It was too close to the border and had been partly destroyed. They used the hidden bunker in the basement.

[line break]

- Please help my sister.- Had been Bruno’s plea and it would be answered.

[line break]

-Reginn! Take the left side and let Dagr take the right! Takumi shoot the sniper in the clock tower please! It’s attacking the Emblian front lines! Take Claude with you and scan the other tall buildings! BE CAREFUL! Guinevere back Zelgius up! Micaiah tell the wyvern riders to take each an archer not mounted, to the roofs, when the ninjas give the go ahead. Naesala and Henry… you know what to do.

Naesala looked down to his best friend Henry and lifted him off the ground. Henry gave one of his little laughs. They were in charge of the aerial attack.

Bruno watched you give orders to the heroes behind his golden mask with a small smile, but you knew that deep down; he was very anxious for his sister. He knew she could handle herself, but against Nidavellir, she was untested and so he was afraid. Now that he had his friends by his side; it was an easier burden to carry, and he wished he could count on you to help him on his quest, but the war started by the bad blood of Embla and his fear of harming you all was enough to dispelled those wishes from his mind. Now he was waiting for your instruction on when to strike.

-King Dimitri, Ike lead the front lines. Savior Dimitri, Alm And King Marth will be following with their squads. Bruno Sharena and Alfonse, be ready to go when they make way. Kaze and Saizo will be waiting for you to make your way into the palace unseen.

-You will stay? -Asks Bruno.

-It is better I stay and lead the heroes with Commander Anna.

- I would feel better if you were to come with us. I do not belittle your heroes’ abilities to guard you but… You have been kidnapped before.- Said Bruno with furrowed brows.

-It was all Alfonse’s idea. Besides (M) Byleth, F Dimitri and Grima are here to protect me…just…take care of each others.- Bruno looked at Alfonse and the younger man averted his eyes, blushing a little.

-Alfonse… a word if I may.- Says Bruno. They both retreat a little way away and even though you can’t hear what they are saying you knew what Alfonse was telling him. He was afraid of getting you hurt after being kidnapped and then sent by Commander Anna on a solo mission to fight for days without his consent. Of course you preferred to go with him, but you also did not want to worry him. You knew who would win the argument. Alfonse was stubborn once he made up his mind. Alfonse had also expressed his mistrust of Bruno’s sanity. He was not afraid for himself or Sharena but he could not trust him with you and did not want you to be near him for longer than necessary. He held his friend dearly, but what was happening to him was of great concern to him and he need to take action just in case of him being overpowered by his blood.

-I still do not agree. -Says Bruno looking sideways at his friend, while coming back after a while. - But I trust your judgment. It has been right previous times. - Alfonse’s little scowl dissipated at this remark. Bruno did not know you would be their back up.

- Be careful Summoner. - Was all Bruno said and turned to get ready to leave. Alfonse turned to you and gave you a small smile you returned and winked at him, which made him blush.

- You too guys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

-Well now I am concerned.- Says Fjorm smiling, with a pink tint to her pale cheeks.

- Wow thanks. Any way, it’s great you are here. Fjorm I am a little concerned for Reginn. She looks…not her usual and well, I don’t blame her for it; but I am afraid she may have an accident or something. I don’t think she is focused.

-I will keep an eye on her if you wish.

- Eir can take you and if Reginn asks just tell her you are back up.- Fjorm nodded and turned to search for Eir.- And Fjorm…have I mentioned how great you are and how grateful I am you are with us? Because You are and I am.- She turns beet red at that.

-Umm…I could hear it more often.- She says bashfully. That woman loves you and ever since Alfonse had had to accept the arranged marriage to his third cousin, she has not left your side. Alfonse does not like it but he can not say much about it.

Kagero lands soundlessly behind you from Beruka’s wyvern and as usual she scares you a bit when she starts talking.

-Summoner. The others give it a “clear”. Kaze and Saizo are waiting for the Prince’s group. - Says Kagero. You thank her and signal Alfonse for them to leave.- Kaze wanted to stay with you and is a bit annoyed he had to stay.

-We’ll see him in a bit anyway.- You tell her while seeing Alfonse retreating back, his white cape being swallowed by the darkness of the night. You offer her a smile after his image is lost. -Come. Let us check how things are going.- You take your spyglass from your coat and take a look at the front lines. They are approaching the castle and while the Order attack the invading army on all fronts and surround them, Prince Alfonse and his team reach the inside by a “secret” entrance, Bruno had told you about. It was actually an old supply entrance no longer used that Bruno used to come and go whenever he came in secret to keep an eye on his sister. It had been sealed and he was the only one who could open it.

-Look at Norne go. She is always so reliable and enthusiastic. Ike is falling behind…I wonder what’s the hold up.- Kagero takes the offered spyglass.

It took you less than half an hour to follow Alfonse. You left the heroes to Anna who was aided by Micaiah and Robin’s capable hands. Soren would have been there too but he had joined Ike in the front lines when he noticed Ike had fallen into a standstill. The advance had flowed as expected after that.

You were half way to rendezvous with Alfonse, making your way to the secret entrance when you hear a a woman half shouting angrily and half crying.

-NO! Don’t you dare touch my sister! She’s just a child! Take my money but leave her alone!!

There were shouting of men as well. Most of them were curses.

You look around a nearby corner despite Fallen Dimitri’s warning of not getting involved and see a woman of about twenty years of age fighting off five Nidavellirian soldiers intent on taking a small girl of about 6 years of age. This enraged you to no end and turning to tell F Dimitri the number of enemies; he nodded that it was not a problem and Kagero takes to the roof of the building to take them from behind or warn you about others. You look around the corner and aim your shot at the nearest soldier. He falls in a flash of light. Confused the rest of the soldiers look around only to be met with a shadow so fast and strong they never even made a sound of alarm.

When you get there you find the woman kicking one of the soldiers even though he’s already out cold…or dead…most probably dead given the wide gaping hole you could now see in his stomach, done by Dimitri’s lance. The rest of the men were in the same shape, even the one you had stunned. Dimitri was looking at the young woman with an arched eyebrow.

-Hey hey! Calm down you are safe now. Did they hurt you?- You ask the woman and her angry face turn towards you about to respond and her eyes widen in surprise. She looks you over and says in a whisper. -_______….- You were surprised by her recognition, since you had really never been to Embla, so this meant she was a member of the army or something.

-You know me? Have we met in battle?- You ask.

-No…I mean…I have just heard about you.- Her red face is still visible even with the low light of the fires set to some buildings or the random torch or lamp on the ransacked street. This place looked like the bad side of town to be honest. -Thank you so much for saving us!

-We need to keep moving.- Says Kagero landing soundlessly behind the woman and child.

-Wait! You are going to enter the castle?- Ask the woman.

-Yes but we came to help, so don’t worry. We are not trying to invade or anything.- You say.

- We should invade them now that they are weak. It would end this stupid war.- Says F Dimitri gruffly.

The woman gave a small smile at that but did not comment.

- Are you taking the back alleys to get to the secret entrance?- She asks again and you nod surprised at her knowledge. She bites her lower lip nervously weighting her next move.

-I guess it is not so secret if you know about it.- Says Dimitri with a searching look on his eyes.Then asks. -Do you work at the palace?

-I have gone and I know things. I know of a faster and safer way to get there. I owe you my life and most importantly, I owe you Vera’s life. She is my dear sister. I need to repay you. Would you trust me to take you to that entrance?

Confident that the your guard were with you and your skills were not too shabby either, You turn to them and agree to follow her. Grima and M Byleth already waiting for you.

The woman who introduced herself as Zorine and asked you to call her Zoe, took you to a building down the street, apparently she had been working there when the attack started and had come to her small rented room to look for her sister as soon as she could go outside. They had waited for the people to flee and were going to a safe spot by the time they were spotted by the enemy soldiers.

The building was a three story tavern that looked like it was a bit rundown on purpose, because when Zoe opened the door you were met with quite a different building. It looked too fancy to be a regular tavern for this side of town. Zoe looked uncomfortable and red.

- Are you a bar maid?- Asks Byleth blankly but polite.

-I thought I smelled something. It stinks of coupling… and vice…- Said Grima in a low voice and wrinkling his nose. Zoe’s face was scarlet eyeing her little sister.

- My sister is a healer for the people who gets hurt in the tavern! Not a maid!- Said the little girl.- Zoe! You said I should never come here!

==Oh Fiddlesticks! Is she a sex worker?==

- Hey Miss Vera. How would you like for my friend Prince Dimitri to carry you while we are inside the tavern and that way you will be safe. Maybe hide your face in his furry cape and that way you will not be scared.- You turn to Dimitri and he is a little stiff but understood your reasons. The girl looks at Dimitri and widens her eyes. You do not blame her, Dimitri is very tall and intimidating. Not a moment later her eyes shine with wonder and she smiles and agrees to it. When he has her safely in his arms she giggles at the fluffiness of the fur cloak. Dimitri reddens. Zoe now sure of her sister’s safety proceeds to show you to the basement of the establishment. While explaining in a low voice so as to hear if there is someone hiding that should not be here.

- This place is a “tavern” for high ranking members of the empire and so they made a tunnel from the castle to the establishment. It is said the late King had a lover here that he wanted no one to know about, but the truth is that the tunnel is very old and has been here probably for centuries. The tunnel connects some other places like the High Temple of Embla and it goes all the way to the mountains and others to the South.

- Ironic but not unexpected.- She looks puzzled at your comment and little laugh. - The temple…Well it connects the most important places right? If the rich people are at any of these places there is always a way to escape safely…but it being a church and a bro…a tavern is a little ironic, but we know rich people’s priorities…at least in my world it is that way. No offence to anyone.

-We don’t have those in Faergus. At least no tunnels from the castle to a tavern that I know of…but we do not need them. There are enough…healers in the castle…- Dimitri says gruffly

- Let us check if it is unlocked. The patrons of the tavern and the owner left through it, but I do not know if they locked it. There is another key in the Owner’s rooms.- The trapdoor to the tunnel was blocked as if someone had hastily piled the most rubbish they could find on top of it. It took you all less than three minutes to unblock and the trapdoor was luckily unlocked. When you get into the tunnel you think the woman and child will get away but she does not.

-You do not know the city like I do and even less the tunnel. I had to come down here to lead costumers away safely or to serve in the castle and since the tunnel forks out you may get lost. I will lead you. The tunnel goes all the way to the entrance prince Bruno may be using to get to the castle. His is the old servant entrance on the East side. I heard they closed it when the war started. Currently only one of the servant entrances remain open… and the tunnel. There is of course another way that leads directly into the castle if you need me to lead you there as well.

-I think that the entrance would be better. We already have a plan on where we will meet. Also I would not like you to be in danger because of us. - You look at her and she is looking at her sister. The girl apparently was so exhausted by what the situation that had fallen asleep on Dimitri’s arms.

- We still need to remain in the city. I need to repay someone, the money I owe them…I can not leave without paying the debt.

-Is that why you are working as a….healer?-

-I do not do it for fun!- She retorts a little too loud and it is amplified by the tunnel’s acoustics. She turns to her sister again, but the girls is soundly asleep.- …I… I apologize…

-No no! Don’t apologize. Also I understood your position from the beginning but I was curious about the reason. You are very young. I’m sorry if I offended you. I have to say I truly respect the workers. Not many people understand the real weight they bear and the extent of the service they provide to society in general but mostly to other women and children.

-What do you mean?- Asks Dimitri.

-You see at court they may do it for free to gain power and other selfish reasons but it is not the same with workers like her who are not here by choice. Some like her are extortioned and others kidnapped. Whatever the reason and situations, they keep people’s lowest of instincts in check. Many of them die because of them and…well…it is in a way a protection for many… it is … a complicated situation.

- You understand! All the people I know look down on us, like we are the vilest and dirtiest of beings.

-I bet you the first ones to judge are the clients.- You comment.

- Yes!… Not all of them, but most of them. There is one client…- She pauses unsure of what to say next.- He is…a little rough around the edges, but he is…he seeks companionship…

-He is in love with you? -you ask.

-No! He is is in love with someone else, but I think he thinks it is a lost cause or a forbidden love…he loves her so much…and I understand why…-She says quietly.-It is thanks to him I have the money to pay off our debt.

-Is that the money you were offering the soldiers? - Asks Byleth.

-Yes.

-Well if he is such a great person he could have just given you the money…You know what…never mind… I am not going to judge any one here…Why do you even have a debt to pay?- You ask.

-My father owned a lot of land close to the border, but when the fire giant came, he burned the villages and lands. We lost all the cattle and the other animals. He had already asked a Lord friend of his for a loan and hoped to sell the cattle to pay him.- She takes a moment to point to the right direction when you come to a fork in the tunnel. The light from your crystal lanterns give off a ghostly blue light that makes her look sick.- When he learned we had lost everything in the fire but the lands, his friend came to seize the lands in payment and wanted even more, so he tried to make my father give him my hand. After some talks, the friend gave him more time, but then the war and the drought prevented us from paying up the debt. Finally last year my father’s friend came and demanded his money and my hand. He took everything we owned and ran us off of our lands and house. My father was not only heartbroken, but also furious. He tried to duel him like a good gentleman does, but his friend killed him before the duel was to take place. He kidnapped me and my sister and when we managed to escape…he sold us to the owner of the tavern. I had until the end of this year to pay off my debt or my sister would join me as a ….healer.

-Son of a bitch! Seriously? Can you tell me the names of those ass…er…really horrible men…-You end the tirade when you see her blinking face starting at you like you had suddenly sprout horns.- They kind of deserve it don’t they though?I mean, I only do it when I am really angry…sorry…- You hear Grima snicker at the back.

-The Prince is not going to like it. - Grima chimes is.

-He is not going to know is he? I got candy! Oh here have some for you and your sister when she wakes up and please forget I cursed. It is very natural do do it where I come from, but being part of the Order, it is a big “No”.

The Woman takes the candy with a surprised face and then gave you a look that you could not interpret, but it looked between bewilderment and endearment.

- I have never met anyone like you Summoner. Thank you. Umm why do you carry candy around to a battlefield?

- For energy bursts and….the truth is because I like to treat the kids in the Order and some of the heroes who like them a lot. Some like cheese or fish but I can’t carry those around.- You hear Byleth and Dimitri laugh silently.- But seriously, tell me more about those creeps. You think we can do something, without repercussions to you?

The talk lasted until you arrived at the tunnel’s exit. Zoe gave you instructions on where to go. She was going to stay inside the tunnel by the entrance to wait out the battle. Dimitri left them his cloak to keep Vera warm and Kagero was instructed to stay with the two. She wholeheartedly agreed to it. Before you took off you noticed Zoe was trying to say something and looked nervous.

- Summoner…there is something you should know…no, don’t worry it is nothing to do with this battle…it is something very important you need to know, but I can’t tell you around them. I know I am not important enough for you to take the time to hear me out, but please it is not about me. It is about you and someone you may know. It is the reason I know who you are. Can you meet me after this?

-Can you not tell me now though?

-I am afraid it would be too long of an explanation and you need to hear all of it.

-Ok. We will return because Dimitri can’t live without his cloak anyway.

-Please be careful Summoner! And thank you!

-We will!

When you leave and before she closes the trapdoor to the tunnel Kagero can hear her whisper and it intrigues her.

-There is someone who would suffer a lot if harm came to you…I do not think he could take loosing you…again.

You joined Alfonse and Bruno even before the time marked and you told Alfonse how helping out the two girls had ended with you finding a safer and faster way. Alfonse was worried at first but seemed to be very happy you were safe. He was very conflicted by the past situations. He did not want you to participate in battles anymore than necessary, but could not function well if he could not keep an eye on you or was far from you. Your kidnapping had left a scar unwilling to heal and he wondered what would happen if something more final would befall you…would he be able to get past it? Would he end up turning into someone like Lif? Of course it would not be entirely that way. It had taken the trauma of losing every loved one Alfonse had held dear, but also his entire Kingdom dying as well; to turn him into Lif. Nothing could compare to that pain when you had abandonment issues in the first place and Alfonse had more than enough of those.

The plans went better than expected. Your group came inside first and you were able to get to where Princess Veronica and her ward were keeping the rest of the court safe. She was seemingly not as happy to see you all as much as she was to see her brother alive and well, but it was understandable, even a little funny. Soon enough Reginn, her group and Fjorm came to your side to fight as well. As in per the plan Ike and Marth had opened a way for her to get inside.

When the battle was over it was almost dawn. It had taken almost ten hours to run them off the palace and the battle had gone well into midday for them to leave the city in a call of retreat.

When everything was done Reginn collapsed. She had a high fever caused by the stress and how hard she had driven her mental and physical limits. Princess Veronica had begrudgingly allowed you all to stay in the palace until Reginn got better with a sour expression, until you reminded her of how she got to spend more time with her brother. She had indeed proceeded to go talk to her brother and try to take him away from your group. You felt a little bad for Alfonse, who would have wanted to spend time with his old friend, but it was understandable that the time he had should be spend with his sister. Who knows how long he had been away from home this time.

Finally after resting a bit and eating a hasty breakfast; F Dimitri had come to let you know he was going back for his cloak and wanted to know if you were going to meet up with the woman. You took some food with you and followed Dimitri.

Alfonse not wanting to let you out of his sight on enemy territory followed behind with Savior King Dimitri Byleth and Grima. Together you all had explained to him how everything had taken place in all detail, since last night you had only told him the basics and did not want Bruno to know you had knowledge of the secret tunnel. He had been a little worried when you told him about how you all had gone to help the two girls, but agreed that it had been a blessing as well. He was more than angry when you explained her situation and and reasons for them. He had already planed on giving the woman something for helping you out, but listening to your story he backtracked and decided to give the two girls a bag of gold, so that when they left the city they could have a place to stay. He also came with the idea that they should come with them to Askr in case someone found out they had lead them through the secret tunnel and incarcerated them for treason.

-I wonder what she wants to talk to you about. She said it was about you and someone you know?- Asked Alfonse pensively.

-Yes and I thought right away about Bruno. I mean who else can she know that I know except him and Princess Veronica…or Loki…

-Loki…That is troublesome. I was surprised she was not at Veronica’s side.

-Yeah! I mean, I don’t understand why Veronica still lets her be around in the first place! I would never trust her after all the crap she has done…but I guess that if I don’t trust her and she wants to hang around; I would probably want to keep her on close watch as well…

-Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

-By that logic, she should give us our own room at the palace…oh wait…- You say laughing. Alfonse laughs quietly as well. He has gotten used to your silly jokes and strange sense of humor.

Finally you get to the place where Kagero is waiting for you. The battle had been close to the place but no one had found the tunnel.

As soon as Vera saw you; she ran to meet you hugging Dimitri’s fury cloak. She hugged you and thanked you for the candy and then went to give Dimitri his cloak, except she ran into S K Dimitri first. He looked down to her a little startled.

-That’s the wrong Dimitri!- You called out to her smiling- We have four of them!- You tell Zoe who came to stand by your side.- All of them different age, but just as wonderful in every way.- Vera looked around the man and spotted F Dimitri behind and ran to him.

-That is my Prince! Here I took great care of your cape your highness! -And after he took his cloak she hugged him. This made both Dimitri blush.

-Hey Alfonse. This is Lady Zorine who so graciously helped us last night. Zoe this is Prince Alfonse of Askr.- Zoe bristled at the name. Her face blanched and looked like she had seen a ghost when his smiling face turned to you and then to her. His bright deep blue eyes looked at you warmly and when he looked at Zoe; she felt like the ground would come to meet her at any moment. She felt sick. It was HIS face. but different. And that name…how could she forget that name. She knew the prince of Askr was named Alfonse but she had never seen him or even knew how he looked like. What did all of this mean? She was so confused.

-Whoa there. Are you all right? You look like you have seen a ghost!- You ask Zoe. She lowered her face and avoided looking at Alfonse. - I know he looks a little stern but he is a great guy! Alfonse I think you scared her!- You say jokingly but holding Zoe’s arm in case she needed support. You figured it may be because she had not eaten well and the excitement of the day had exhausted her. Alfonse blushed.

-Summoner!- He said flustered, but Zoe could still feel those intelligent eyes watching her. It was like he was trying to find something inside her.

-Oh here, I got you some food and drinks. I bet you are hungry. You may feel better after you eat something.- Byleth then took a satchel he was holding in his back and started taking out food from it.- It may be better if you eat something. I am no healer but I can see what I can do if you are not feeling well.- Said Byleth standing by Zoe’s side with an apple in his hand.

-I…thank you Professor I think I will have a drink and the apple. I am just a little tired…and I have just been hiding. How thoughtless of me. You must be exhausted after such a long fight and here you are worrying about me and my sister.- She can’t help but cry about that.- You really are and angel Summoner ______…and your heroes..

- Prince Alfonse can attest to it being the other way around when it comes to me.

-She does get in trouble quite a lot.-Alfonse says jokingly because he understands you are trying to cheer her up. He smiles warmly but keen eyes analyse the woman.

-I got kidnapped two weeks ago. Gave them all a scare.- You say laughing and Alfonse pulls a face.- It was not my fault tho. I swear!

-What? Who kidnapped you?- She panicked. Had it been HIM? Had she been helping some sick kidnapper’s fantasy?

-Prince Ótr. The brother of the guy that came to attack you and a creepy lady that looks like a possessed doll.-You giggle. Alfonse gives you another look.- Sorry. I am sleep deprived and I find everything funny right now; but I almost crapped my pants at the time.- Zoe can’t help but smile at the statement and she can see the effect you have on Alfonse when you turn to his furrowed face and mouth “Sorry” while taking his hand. His face changes to one of deep fondness and devotion. He loves you, just as much as HIM. And by the look on your face, she knew you loved him just as much…she was having second thoughts about telling you about Lif.

==…What if it is important? What if something happens to her and you could have saved her? I need to tell her.==

You let her eat something and after that Alfonse who is very intrigued by what she has said she knows speaks first.

-Miss Zorine. I thank you for keeping my Summoner and my men safe.- She listened to his words, that sounded in that instant so much like HIS. The way HE said “My Summoner” like there was nothing more precious in the world.- I have heard of your plight and I want to contribute to your cause. Here. I hope this is enough for you to get a place to stay while you journey out of the city.-He hands her the bag of gold. Zoe looks at it and you motion for her to take it.

- I could not…I did not do it for money.

-I know, still I would like you to have it. Do it for your sister. I am sure _____ wants you two to be safe. In fact. We are journeying back to Askr in some days and some of our people will be leaving every day. If for some reason you feel you are not safe in Embla, you can come with us to Askr and take one of the houses that have been vacated by our losses of war. There are many of those throughout the land.

-That is a lot of money. ..-She looks to her sister. She is ashamed to accept it, but she knows she would do whatever it takes for her sister to be safe. She looks at you.- I need to talk to you and if after that, you still feel like I deserve the money. I will take it and maybe the offer too…

== …but not alongside you… I will not be able to look you in the eyes after that…==

With furrowed brows and worry painting his face, Alfonse watched as you made your way to a place far enough not to be heard but close enough to still be safe. He felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach and waited with trepidation for whatever sign of distress you may give. He felt that whatever that woman was about to tell you, was not exactly good and it involved him as well. The way she had looked at him with recognition and fear. He wondered if it was just that the people of Embla generally thought him some horrible person. After all they were enemies. Still he had not met with that show of fear from other people in Embla, and this woman looked like they had met and was afraid of him in particular. He would understand if the woman was a soldier and they had come close in battle, but she was a prostitute. There was no way for them to know each other. Another point was that she also was way too familiar with you. Also like she knew you personally. So what did this mean?

==If only I had thought of bringing Beruka.==

Now that you were away from the rest Zoe looked restlessly around as if trying hard for a way to start. She looked at Alfonse and then asked.

-Summoner. It is not my place, but it is relevant to what I am about to tell you. Are you and the Prince…sweethearts?

You sigh a little asking yourself why this was relevant and remembering the reason why you two could not be together answered.

-No. He is dear to me and…but we can not…

-I see…I do not know yet why this may matter but…I must thank you for coming back to talk to me Summoner. I thought about what I was going to tell you and how to do so, for a long time last night and I do not see an easy way to do it. So I will ask you a question instead. Do you know…is one of your heroes called Lif? - As expected, your eyes full of emotion widen at the name. Your relaxed posture changes and with this change comes the prince’s as well. With a quick side glance to where the Prince is standing near the other heroes she sees his posture now even more tense than when you had left. She noticed he was waiting for bad news but now he looked like he was worried about you.

-Lif? Yes…how? How do you know about him? Have you seen him? Is he well?

-Please my Lady. Listen to me. I will explain how I know of him, but you need to listen to all of it before asking questions or leaving. I swear I will tell you everything and in…detail if you wish it. It all started almost nine months ago. I was very new to the tavern and I was tasked to accompany one of the other women to the entrance to the palace. By now I was familiar with the destination of the tunnel. I was told to leave her and then go get her in the morning…she…was new to this as well and had never gone to the palace. When I was coming back by myself I noticed a light coming from the distant South side of the tunnel. It was the main branch that passes by the tavern and I had to go that same way. The light looked blue and as soon as I got near it, it disappeared, but not the glowing red ones. The red lights were smaller but I saw them perfectly when I covered my lamp. The tunnel is relatively safe since it was made for the upper class , no thieves or ruffians know about it so I thought it had been a client. I had never met a client in the tunnel but I had no idea other people may use it for other reasons, so I called out to him and told him if he needed help getting to the tavern. In no way did I wanted to have a client, but if the owner knew I did not help a client I would be fined and I did not need to pile more debt on my back. He got closer and he was covered from head to toe with a black traveling cloak and the only thing visible were his eyes. He…put a mean looking sword on my throat and asked me who I was and what I was doing in the tunnel. His voice was deep and chilly and I got so scared I thought I was going to faint. I managed to tell him who I was and where I was working. It never crossed my mind that it may be a spy or or something.

- “There is an entrance to a brothel here? I don’t believe you. It is not on the map.”- his eyes narrowed while he spat that at me.

-”It is a little way up from here . I passed it trying to help you to it…You…you did not come for the…service?”- And now I was scared.

-”NO!”- He said almost offended and taking a step back.

-”Oh…please do not kill me. I do not have money on me. I was only told to take a worker to the palace secret entrance!”

-”I don’t want your money.”- He said angrily- “You said you know where this tunnel leads? I will let you go if you help me get around. This map is incomplete and I need it to be accurate.”

-”I yes of course! I will…I can tell the matron I have a client and I will be back. Otherwise they will punish me and fine me…I don’t mind the punishment but…I just …I can’t owe her more…

-”You are a …you work in the brothel then?” I nodded at him. I was so ashamed for some reason after he had the care not to call me a whore…it may seem like a small blessing but it means the world to me you see.” I will pay you what you make in a night for you to help me.When we are done, I will be sure your matron will not punish you.”

-I agreed to this and we took off without reporting back. You see, they don’t care if we do not come back. They will not look for us, but when we do come back, it meas we were not killed and then we need to be punished for loosing them money. I showed him the way to the palace and on the way where the tunnel branched I told him where the different ways led. I asked him if he had no need to write it down but he shock his head.

-”I will remember it.” He said very confident of his memory. It took a long time to walk all the way to the palace and to some of the branches he was interested in. Like the Scholar’s Library. That one was a strange one. I was surprised when he actually asked me if I had ever gone inside it. I replied that I was was not allowed to go inside. I felt like a fool when he said I could enter through the tunnel’s entrance…He stayed there looking at the entrance for a long while. Who knows what he was thinking.. although now that I know you, I understand him a little and he was probably thinking of you.- She paused for a bit then sighted.

-Do you like reading Summoner? Did you spend a lot of time with him reading?-Zoe asks you and you nod yes. Because now you too are remembering the time spent together reading and drinking tea in the library. His favorite place in the palace. She keeps going.

-I was so distracted by this I slipped on a small slimy puddle of water when I shifted my feet and almost broke my head on a stone. He was very fast and held me by the arm.

“Careful ______. Don’t hurt yourself…” It was the first time he called me by that name…by your name. His tone was… so different as well as his voice and when I looked at him questioning myself what was happening I saw him. I had noticed his crimson eyes were not like those some Emblan families have. His were …so bright they seemed to glow, but now that he was close to me and he had let go of his cloak that was covering him entirely, I could see his body. That is when I learned he was not of this world. His eyes widened when he saw my face and saw me looking at him. He let go of me and almost shoved me away…but he took his sword out again and pointed it at me.

”You will tell no one or you die!”

”I will tell no one I swear to you! Please I have a small sister I need to protect!”-I told him. Pleading for my safety. This seemed to do the trick. He lowered his weapon and told me still angry not to look at him again. So I avoided looking at him from then on. -Summoner I do not know how he looked like when you knew him but he…he

-Lif is dead. He was one of the army of the dead . I know how he looks.

-So you knew he was dead…

-It is complicated. I know him from when he was alive and then I saw him dead, I did not recognized him…I lost my memories of him…he disappeared after and I have been looking for him for a long time…wondering if he was still around or if he was lost to me for ever.- You tell her. She nodded and kept going.

-When we entered the establishment he came in with me and gave me my money. He then asked me to tell him where the matron was so he would be sure I was not to be punished. I did what he told me and went home. I suppose he did talk to the matron. She did not punish me and she looked like she had been threatened. She looked at me strangely after that. Then a week after, the matron came to me and told me that I needed to be ready that night. I was going to have a special guest…- Zoe lowered her face in shame.-Summoner…did you two love each other?- Zoe asks.

-Yes…once, long ago…in another life…we were…we made a promise. We had a ceremony with one of the priests of the Divine Dragon Askr in one of the villages we were visiting…but it was never made official.

-Summoner…. I did not know …I was scared and not even scared of him…just scared to have my sister pulled into the work and she merely a child of six! I was told to bathe and be prepared. They gave me the best room and was told that one night every month I would have this guest. No one else was to touch me. He paid enough for the month… The whole month.-She takes a pause when she hears you crying. - Please I am so sorry! Please do not go, you need to hear the rest. I swear on my sister…she is my only treasure …that you…please do not think badly of him…You…you have nothing to fear. I swear!- You nod for her to go on and turn around to motion for the others to stay back. They had rushed to you when they heard you crying. Alfonse looked livid and even more worried than before, but he held back. She sighs and goes on.- When I enter the room he is already there. I was scared but he told me that I can say no to him if I want to. He says he will pay a lot and I just needed to do what he asks of me. One of those things is…he does not wish to see my face, nor hear my voice. He said I was the right height and skin color…I did not know what he meant. He gave me something from a satchel he had and it was a white coat embellished with gold trimmings. He said to wear it, with the hood on and to not speak at all. I found out later he had stolen it from your castle.- She pause while you weep. Her face is downcast, unable to meet yours.

-He did not want me Summoner. He wanted you…from the first time. He never saw my face after. I wore the coat he lent me every time. I talked when he wanted and said what he wanted..the way he wanted…and what he wanted was for you to tell him that you loved him… He loves you so deeply…He loves you still…after death. I am nothing to him, he comes because I barely look like you in the dark…

You start crying harder and hold on to her. It was not her fault and you can’t be angry at him for seeking companionship. She is surprised by this and for a second does not know what to do. She had gotten used to people being repulsed by her, that she had forgotten how it felt to be treated like a human being by other people besides her sister. Zoe started crying too. She had her own reason and seeing you like this had made her let go of the negative feelings that she had been holding back for so long.

-Summoner…He is…not …he is not like the other clients. They only look for pleasure and to fulfil their sick fantasies. They mistreat us and harm us. He only looks for your love and this saved me and my sister. It is thanks to him I have enough money to pay off my debt…but Summoner. There is something else.- You look up to her face.- He also goes by Alfonse…-She looks at the Prince and then back to you. -I know he looks different but his voice when he talks to you is so much like…

-Alfonse…- You look back at him and motion for him to come.

-Are you going to tell him?

-It is …important to him as well.

Alfonse comes walking fast and his confused face looks to you and Zoe questioningly. He can’t figure out why Zoe would know something about you that would make you cry except that Zoe may know someone important to you from the World of steel and… There was a knot in his stomach…

==Did she tell _____ something that may want to make her go back home? What if she wants to leave…Oh Askr no…I could not live without her please!==

- Alfonse…Zoe met Lif in the tunnel.- Alfonse who was looking almost green, widened his eyes at the name. If Zoe had been looking at him she would have noticed the change. It was as if a great weight had been lifted off of him. He still looked worried but it was not the same. Lif…Lif he could deal with…even if it meant…

-Lif! What was he doing? Is he spying on Embla now?

-She doesn’t know. She says he had an old map and he paid her to show him around the tunnel and where it all led. If Thrasir had been with him I would suspect they were maybe spying on Veronica.- Zoe noticed Alfonse was thinking about it. Trying to

figure things out.

-He has been here with another woman he calls Veronica.- Zoe says and is surprised by the both of you turning to look at her so fast.- she is like him, but she does not glow….she …she calls him Alfonse too.- Alfonse stiffens and you look worriedly at him.

-When was this?- He asks when he recovers.

-Three months after the first visit. I wanted to know what he was doing. I followed him after… you know…He met up with her.- Alfonse widens his eyes. This tells him all he needs to hear to understand why you ere crying, the way she would not look at him in the eyes. He reddens and pinches the bridge of his nose.

==First visit?…Great…he’s been consorting with a prostitute of Embla…how low can he get? Although, this may be a blessing in disguise…No. Do not lose focus. I can not make her stay by my side…not the way I need her to be…I can’t deny her happiness just because it is not I making her happy…Even if it kills me inside…The Kingdom is above everything…even me.==

-Alfonse?

- It was probably Veronica who told him about the tunnel…Although…I wonder if Zacharias know about it? Maybe he does not trust us with the knowledge.- Alfonse brows furrow even harder. It pains him to learn his friend do not fully trust him.

-Maybe he doesn’t know about it. Remember he was exiled and well…he spend a lot of time with you in the Order. Even Princess Veronica may not know about it yet.

-You may be right. I may be reading too much into it. Still…if he…they are spying on Embla then they may be spying on us.

- They are.- You say.- He even got into the castle unseen. He has one of my coats.

-What? Why?- He turns to Zoe not wanting to meet her eyes but finding her looking down in shame.- How do you know about it?

-Memento. He uses it on her Alfonse.- He gave you a questioning look. As intelligent as this man was he was sometimes too innocent for his own good.

-Why would he dress her up as a Summoner? It’s not like she can use the sacred weapon.

-Sex Alfonse. He uses it for sex.- You say quietly in his ear.There really was no other way to say it. - He pretends she is…me.- Zoe glances up at him incredulously. Alfonse covers his red face with his hands and turns around. He just wants to go home and lay down to sleep for a week strait and forget about Lif and whatever he has been doing since he disappeared. And why did he not stay dead? He knew what would follow… and he did not like the prospect.

- Great. Just when I thought this could not get more embarrassing. Do you know anything of what they do here?- He asks with a pinched expression.- Besides…

- No. The day I followed them I stopped because I was scared they would notice me and I was very cold. I had only my nightgown on and…but I heard them saying something about her brother. I think she wants to see him. She was scolding him for wasting her time she could spend looking for her brother and he answered that she could just go by herself and let him do what he wanted. He said “ Veronica you are not a baby. You can go by your self without me holding your hand.” -Zoe shifted uneasy.

-Whoa! I’m surprised he still had his…erm… Still ballsy as ever…-You giggle. Alfonse rubs at his face.

- Well she told him “ Who wants to touch your hand? Who knows what you touched with it. If I was the Summoner I would never let you touch me. ”

-Oh…that was worst than a blow to the groin for sure.

-Can we focus on what is important here?- Asks Alfonse impatiently.- Is there something else we need to know?

-Only that he comes tomorrow night and I will not be here anymore if I can help it. I promised him I would not talk and …I am afraid he may retaliate if he knows I told you. I would have took this to my grave but you saved me and my sister and he …you needed to know. I owe you everything. I was concerned your safety Summoner___.- Alfonse is looking at you pleadingly almost asking you to let it go, but he knows he can’t ask this of you and he turns his face away, anger and pain visible in his eyes. Zoe feels conflicted, seeing the pain in both of you and the way Alfonse was behaving it reminded her of Lif once again.

-Are they related?- Zoe asks to no one in articular. Alfonse looks at her alarmed and then to you. You held his gaze a moment and said.

- It is up to you.

-No…you do not owe me an explanation. I was just wondering aloud. It’s just…he is called Alfonse as well and you …pardon my boldness Your Highness, but you look alike and the way you reacted just now and your voice…Also the way you are talking about that woman Veronica as if she was related to Princess Veronica.

Alfonse sighs.-This time no matter what happens and for your own good…You must keep your silence and your thoughts to your self. This situation may get you and your sister killed. Remember that by helping us you are already in trouble. If someone knows about it, they may charge you with treason. This is why we are going to help you get away before someone knows about this. Also for this reason. We will tell you the truth. You too deserve to know. I will tell you sou you know who you are dealing with. Lif…may not show you mercy if if he thinks you are a danger to his plans or desires.- Says Alfonse sternly.Alfonse did not say this lightly. He knew that as much as he wanted to deny it, he was not much unlike Lif. In fact. The thought had flashed in his head that, had he met Zoe first, this situation would not be happening and HIS Summoner would not be thinking of….- Three years ago the Goddess of death Hel came to invade the world of the living. Do you remember?

-Yes. Her army attacked close to the border and we were very scared.

-Lif was one of the the two generals. The other is Thrasir as she wants to be called. They chose the names of the first king and first Queen of Askr and Embla.

-Wait…you are saying this is the same person? I have heard so many tales about him!They say he was ruthless in battle and that he was not afraid of anyone! They say he could kill a whole battalion by himself! At first people thought they were on our side because it was said he wanted to kill …well…you two.The Prince and the Summoner of Askr…but then they attacked us and…It can not be the same man…They say he was a demon.- Zoe says. Her voice trembles as she shakes visibly with fear.

-Perhaps that is what he became for a time…- Said Alfonse.- His real name is Alfonse. Prince Alfonse of Askr.- Zoe gasped.-Thrasir is Princess Veronica of Embla. They both hail from another world that would have been our future. In his world Hel came and attacked and… every person…every living thing died. His world is empty. To bring his people back, Hel told him to bring her the lives of another world like his, so he went back in time to a world in the past where he was still human, to help her kill us. We were able to convince him to help us destroy Hel instead. He did.

-He is the reason we are standing here alive and still talking. He sacrificed himself and his world…- You tell her so that she does not think so horribly of him.

-So…there are two of Your Highness and two Princess Veronicas?- Asks Zoe and then she looks at you.- Are there two of you too?

-No. I died in his world and I was summoned by the sacred weapon to Askr again or…It is complicated. You can say I returned to the body of my earlier self. He does not know this because I lost my memory and I did not know it at the time either. I wanted to tell him the truth but I did not know if he had gone back to the world of the dead this time for real or…he may be looking for a way to bring back our people. It is difficult to explain…it gives me a headache every time I think about it.

-You died for him and for his people…that is why he keeps on saying he will come for you soon. He is looking for a way to save you them? But he does not know you are alive! And he tried to kill you.

-Good times…No. If he had wanted to kill me he would have. He had like three chances and did not do it.

-He…would not have been able to. No matter how twisted he may have become by his pain…He would not hurt you or Sharena.

-How about you, Your Highness? Would he harm you?

-He hates me…- Alfonse said turning his face away. That is all Zoe need to hear to understand.- We need to leave. We have been here in the open too long. It may be dangerous to you and your sister.

After that Zoe took the gold offered and took her sister with her. About to say her farewells. You on the other hand had another idea. Alfonse knew this and although he said nothing about this he left the site followed by S K Dimitri with a sour expression. Kagero offered to guard Zoe and Vera. It was a lot of money she was carrying and you told Zoe your plan.

Preparations were made and Zoe was going to leave the city the morning after with a group of Askr soldiers and other people. F Dimitri had asked to leave with her and the child he wanted to protect. You let him go and sent other heroes home so that it would not look suspicious for the two of them to be around the two girls.

~*~

A barn owl cried in the night and perched on the rail of the balcony of a dark and half ruined manor house. Moments later a hand reaches for the owl and takes a note it bears on its leg. Blue light floods the owl’s vision and irritated by it, it turns its face away into the night, but waits patiently for sign of another mission.

Lif looks at the note and without turning his head say.

- Nidavellir is at Veronica’s South City Castle. Alfonse has come to help Veronica. Bruno is with them.

-We were told not to intervene.

-Will you pass up the chance then? I have business in the city any way. With all the chaos no one will notice us.

There was no answer from Thrasir, only her retreating footsteps echoing in the empty room.

==Business...You only want to see her don’t you?== The voice in his head chimed in in a very good imitation of Thrasir’s own voice and tone. He growled, but inside he knew and hope twisted his stomach in knots.

==She will be there…she will be there! ….and so will Alfonse…==

The pair of red eyes glow brighter and the ghostly breath comes out in venomous vapors. The Owl takes flight scared.

~*~

After a long nap,(well as long as a Summoner of Askr is permitted to nap with everything going on in a war that is)you get up not wanting to wake up Sharena who had fallen asleep in the same bed as you. You think Alfonse is afraid of your safety and had asked Sharena to stay with you. If he did not trusted his friend, he trusted Princess Veronica even less. You go look out of the window. It looks down to the imperial city. It looked somber and dark after such an invasion.

Night had just fallen and the dying light of the sun bathed in purple and reds the sky in the west, but your eyes were set to the South where home lay. You were thinking of everything Zoe had told you and trying to make the best plan to get to talk to Lif and may be convince him to accept your help.

Wise people say that sometimes the best proof of love you can give someone is to leave and never come back and you were willing to do that if he told you to, but he did not know all the truth. If after knowing the truth he still wanted you to leave, it would break your heart, but you were willing to do so.

On the Eastern side of the protruding balcony where the shadows are deeper a figure hides from your view. It waits for the perfect moment and as you lean on balcony’s railing; your face between your hands. The assassin moves to strike and a hand comes to his mouth from over his head where a wide ledge is located. The assassin tries to fight off the attack but another strong hand comes to grab his throat and start squeezing until he starts feeling lightheaded and his vision blurs. It felt to him like an eternity but it has taken seconds for his vision to turn to black and his limbs to loosen and drop the knife he was about to throw. It falls among the hydrangeas and camellias under the balcony. The shadow above the ledge carries the unconscious man up to the the ledge to better get a grip. He will extract information from him and that is the only reason the assassin is still alive. Skillfully a pair of gauntleted hands tie the assassin up and gag him with his own clothes. He is about to be carried off when the shadow hears you humming a melody you would often hum when working. He scans his surroundings with his intelligent red eyes and then after making sure the assassin is not going anywhere and there is no one to spy on him, he moves down to the spot the assassin has vacated.

You were so close to him, just like the times he has gotten inside the Askran castle and yet just like those times he was unable to touch you.

- My Alfonse…where are you? When will I see you again?- You emit a sigh and his heart breaks a little more at that. He feels the sting of jealousy crawl up his chest and anger at himself for seeking you out and…

==Wait…Is Alfonse not here with her? Why?==

Your humming stops again as the sound of footsteps grow louder.

- Oh hey Alfonse. Sharena is still sleeping. I did not want to wake her up.

- I was told the servants will be bringing you food in a while. Let her sleep meanwhile.- He says as he joins you outside.- You were thinking about him.- It is not a question. You hum in response and change the subject.

-Have you been able to talk to Zacharias?- Alfonse stares at you and gives a sigh.

-...No. Princess Veronica is not too keen on letting him out of her sight…_______ he is not going to listen to you and he is dangerous.

Lif is surprised by the conversation. Who was the person you were thinking about? Who were you talking about ?

== Could it be Zacharias. Is she trying to help him in his quest? Why? Could she be…No…it can not be…=

Unconsciously he got closer as he tried to process and make out the pieces of information.

- Alfonse we talked about this. I have been wanting to help him for years and you agreed at some point. What changed?

== I got engaged to a woman I despise and I am afraid to loose you for ever…== Thought Alfonse.

-I…I am afraid. I thought I was over this when I got engaged. It has been a year and …it feels the same as it felt the day I signed the treaty.

==What?! He..== Lif’s mind was reeling.

- It only got worse when Ótr kidnapped you.

==WHAT!? That bastard will pay for this! I stay away for a while and this happens?! What are you doing Alfonse?==

- I am worried all the time and angry and you are not making this easy ________. I know I should not be telling you this, I know it is not my place to ask you to stay…but I can’t…

- Alfonse I will try to be more careful. I swear I do not want to burden you. I know you got enough problems. That is why I am here, to help you, not to add to them, but do not ask me not to seek him out at least once. I swore I would help you until the end of the war and I will. I will not leave. I swear it still… I need to make things right with him. I have tried to help you but we both tried to undo the engagement and we couldn’t. That woman really wants to be queen and unless we find a treasure bigger than her fortune we can’t do much about it…and then there is the other matter. Let me do this please. He deserves it.

-And so do you. He is your husband after all.- The word made his mouth taste bitter.- I apologize for being so selfish…You have sacrificed everything for us and to help us and I only want more out of you…-Alfonse sighs.- Do it. I will instruct the men to do what you need and keep you safe. But rem…- His words were cut off by the sound of someone coming inside the room.

-______. I got your food and Sharena’s.- Came Fjorm’s sweet voice. You get inside to greet her and Lif is left looking at Alfonse’s sour expression. He did not miss the whispered “Sometimes I hate that woman.”

==Husband…just when I thought Alfonse was not a threat…Grrr…Alfonse ! Who did you let her marry!?…”He is dangerous”…could it be Zacharias? Dimitri… NO!…Let her do what she wants…What do I care…she is not my ______. She never was…== He thought this as if he did not care, but inside the remainder of his heart was breaking. Who was he fooling?

He looked to the assassin. He was angry and someone would pay for it.

That night the matron of the “tavern” disappeared when she was coming back into the city. A low ranking Nobleman was found dead after he ran into a couple of shadows while coming back into the city as well. They blamed robbers at first, but he still had his money on him and he had bleed to death while trying to escape whoever was chasing him. The wound was on his lower abdomen. His penis and testicles were cut off.

~*~

The next morning, Zoe was not able to leave the city. She could not find neither the brothel’s matron not the nobleman she owed money to. The other workers who had been with her when she had left the city, had said she had just gone to pee and never came back. Then when she went to pay her debt, she learned the man had been assassinated and was told how he had died. Kagero was with her and was able to communicate, what had happened, to you.

You leave the castle to visit the soldiers and heroes who did not want to stay at the castle. Some of them were gathering info all around the city while they were here. You took F Dimitri, Marth, Beruka, M Byleth to where Kagero had left Zoe and Vera. When you find her she is a little afraid about what had happened, but offered to help you with your plan.

You take off to the part of the city where the brothel is located, but it is sealed off. With a small distraction you all were able to sneak in unseen. When you get there the place is obviously deserted. Zoe went to prepare the room you will stay in and meanwhile you tell your heroes the truth. Who you were and who Lif was to you. It was difficult but you manage to explain.

- Is this why it was so easy for Alfonse to accept the engagement with that horrible…with Lady Braam?-Asks Marth.

-No. We tried everything, to get him off of it without upsetting the treaty, before he told you about it. It wasn’t easy at all. Even without me in the picture, it is not easy to sign your life away to a loveless marriage.- Marth nodded to this.

- I don’t see why his mother would want her as a queen.-F Dimitri mutters.- She is clearly filth.- He finishes with disgust. Even in the bad mental state Dimitri had never said anything offending to any lady that was not his worst enemy so hearing talking this way about Lady Braam spoke volumes of the type of person she was.

-We will come up with something to help him out. You’ll see. If not just for him…for the good of Askr.

-If a marriage is “Until death do us part”. Does this not mean you are not married any more?- Leave it to Byleth to be direct and a little tactless but practical.

-I suppose in a way, but I still feel as if I am still married to him, and he needs to know the whole truth.

-That is so romantic…and sad…- Says Marth with his left hand on his heart.

-How do you know he will be here? In this place?- Asks Dimitri looking around angrily and a little jealous.

-Zoe met him in the tunnel when he was sneaking inside the city and she helped him map it out. She told him her story and he wanted to help her and her sister. She has seen him sneak in other nights too. Every month actually.

-So he was the one who assassinated the matron and that nobleman last night?

-We believe so.

-Mmm…- was all F Dimitri said. You got the feeling he did not entirely believe you.

-Does she know what he comes to do besides…visit?- Asks Byleth. You know he does not buy the whole story. Marth looks embarrassed.

-Not really. We believe Thrasir just wants to know about her brother. She is going to be really happy to see him tonight.

-Oh so Thrasir comes as well?- Says Marth sending the others a look that was a little chastising.

After a while Zoe walks you up to the room after you have given the heroes their instructions. Some of them would stay in the first floor guarding the two entrances and trying to be out of sight but giving you plenty of privacy. They will take turns as guards while the rest go to rest with Zoe and Vera. Beruka would be guarding the tunnel entrance, just to be sure no one else but him enters.

- Thank you for not telling them about me… -You smile at her.- I readied the room and cleaned it. It has not been used in a while so do not worry about…um… things. The room is sound proof for privacy. The sheets and blankets are new. I got them from the matron’s stores. Er…just in case… I…I apologize for being so forward but…he is your husband after all. I hope everything turns out right.

-God I wish it too. I miss him.

-How long has it been, since you were together?

- Last time I saw him was more than three years ago, when I still didn’t remember anything about him… More than six years for me since we were together…for him…who knows how long he has been alone with only Thrasir to keep him company. I always wondered if they were…together. I have been so jealous all this time.

-I do not think so Summoner. If they had been together I do not think he would have…come here and she would have reacted differently as well. Well I better get going. I bet Lady Kagero must be tired of dealing with us by now. I will bring the heroes some food and then hide in one of the other houses just in case. Good luck Summoner!

She leaves and you walk around the room looking at things. There are perfumed oils that smell very strong and kind of cheap, and bottles that look like wine. There are some things in the drawers that look like massage oils and ==Ugh! Are those toys???!!…Ugh I better not touch anything just in case…==

You sit on the bed, back to the door and ponder if you should have worn something better. The dark brown cloak you are wearing hides your garments. You are wearing only what other may call body armor and boots. A belt that houses a sword and a satchel with some items inside. You take off the belt and sword, then the satchel and open it to take out a small notebook where you have written some notes and ideas of what to do about different problems the heroes are facing. Time passes until you hear footsteps coming up the stairs and then approaching the door.

~*~

Lif went up the tunnel to the castle. He needed to see you again, at least one more time, before he stopped hurting himself this way. He needed to know who his precious Summoner had married.

==No! She is not my Summoner…she is just…Then why are you going to see her then…why do you want to know who it was she married and see how easy you can get rid of him… To see how it feels to break every bone in his body.==.

At the angry thought his hands made a fist, his eyes shone a bright red and he imagined all the ways he could get rid of a body without you ever finding out it had been him. He was also making a list of the probable heroes and friends that could be the offending recipient of…who was he fooling. If it was Zacharias, he was unsure if he could ever hurt his friend and he would never hurt Thrasir this way. Besides, Zacharias was a good man at the core.

When he came to where the entrance to the brothel was he stopped. There was a candle burning at the entrance. He had assumed the woman had left the city, but by this sigh he thought she must be there thinking he would be coming. He thought for a minute whether he should go inside. He spied a note by the candle. It read “ Please come up.”He thought he should go and tell that woman she was free to go now and so he entered the brothel thinking that even if it was empty, he knew full well where the woman lived down the street.

He opened the door to find candles lit in a kind of pathway. Why was that woman here still waiting for him? Maybe she was afraid he would go out to seek her out at her house. He sighted. Sometimes being scary was very useful, but sometimes it was just annoying. He followed the path upstairs until he finally was outside the room. He opened the door to find candles burning. The room did not smell of perfume as much as other times. He took a small bag of coins from his belt and let it fall on the top of the drawer by the door. The figure in the bed did not move. She looked scared stiff. He sighted again. It was not like he ever hurt her and he had asked for her permission too. He closed the door behind him. Thinking she may need an explanation. She might have come to the conclusion that it had been him who had gotten rid of her two captors. He gave a step forward.

-The people that own you are gone. You are free to go. You don’t have to be scared any…- There was something odd about the situation. The figure moved her head to the side a little at his faltering. For all the gold he had given her for her silence, that woman would have said something by now,she always had something to say and that smell. The smell was not one of those awful perfumes the woman always had to use…it felt familiar…it was… he found himself unsheathing his sword, but oddly enough it felt like he was warding off a demon out to get his soul, instead of trying to attack it. - Who are you?! What are you doing here?

-Is this how you greet me now Alfonse?- You say to him and take off the hood of the cloak. You turn around to see him widen his eyes.

He takes a step back and comes into contact with the door he had closed. He is still holding his sword up to you but his other hand is searching for the doorknob.

-Summoner…What are you doing here? ==Of all the people who could find out I come here, it had to be you? I really am cursed!==

-I came looking for you. I need to tell you something important…are you going to hold that sword up at me all night?

-There is nothing to talk about Summoner.- He says, sheaths his sword and turns to leave.- You are a married woman Summoner. You shouldn’t go around looking for men in brothels, people may talk.- He says suddenly angry and jealous of this unknown husband of yours.

==The nerve!==

-Well a woman just might have to go into brothels if their husband is the one visiting it! I am looking for my husband Alfonse… I heard he comes here every month.

Lif turns around faster than he intended and looks angrily at you.-So you really married Zacharias? and he comes here every month? Do you not keep him satisfied enough Summoner? I took you for a more passionate woman, if not borderline perverted ==Marrying my best friend!==… but your marital problems are of no consequence to me. And don’t call me Alfonse.- He says angrily and steps closer to you.

==It has to be Zacharias! Who else would come here often…and to think he was my friend! How could they?==

-What?! First of all…What the FUCK!? …The Hell you mean Bruno? What does he have to do with this? I am looking for you Alfonse! If you let me talk then I would…

- I heard you talking to Alfonse last night. You were talking about his engagement and then about your wedding. He said Princess Veronica was not going to let him out of her sight and then he said he was dangerous and you said he was your husband…and stop calling me Alfonse.

- You were spying on me?…Alfonse...Lif.We were talking about you. Yes I started out talking about Bruno to change the subject, but he switched to you because he knew I was coming here to tell you the truth. Lif I am in no way married to Bruno. Next time you listen to someone else’s conversation get all the facts and stop assuming things.

-Why were you talking about me and what truth are you talking about?

-Lif. You disappeared after our fight with Hel and I thought you were gone… after a time I stated having these memories coming back to me and after talking to Alfonse we came to the conclusion that I had been summoned twice to Askr. Once for him but the first time for you. I have been looking for traces of you to tell you, but I could not find any traces of you until I found Zoe by mere luck. Umm…Lif? Are you listening?

Lif could not move. He was rooted to the spot. He stopped listening when you said you had been summoned to his Askr first.

==Is she? Why didn’t she tell me?…how?==

-You…You are my summoner…and you didn’t tell me…

-Umm, I just said I tried to find you to tell you but…

- Why? I have been looking for a way to save you! How could you leave me alone all this time? You promised! You promised you would never leave me!- He steps back again as if he is trying to leave.

- I know. This is why I came to see you as soon as I found out where you would be.

- It is because I look hideous isn’t it? You rather stay with him? It that it? You love him more don’t you? He is perfect! Your perfect prince!- He is pacing around the room now, his agitated breath coming out like poisonous miasma around him.

-Lif you were gone! How was I suppose to tell you who I was, if I didn’t even know you survived? Are you even listening to me? I love you I wanted to find you as soon as I knew you were here!

-You love me? You love me now that he is out of your reach? Now that he left you and is getting married?

-There has not been anything between us since I told him we were married!- You reach out to him and he pulls away.

-Don’t touch me!- His hand hits you on the chest when he turns around to leave and you stumble and hit yourself on the drawer by the door then fall to the floor.

-Ofhh.- He looks sideways at you and watches as you fall down. He tries to take your arm but misses it as you flail your arms in an effort to find something to hold on to. In an instant he is by your side kneeling on the floor.

-_______! Are you hurt? I did not mean for this to happen!- He says eyes wide in shock.

-Ow it hurts…I just landed on my butt…

-Your arm is bleeding. Really Summoner, getting hurt in a place like this! You will catch an infection! Or something worse…

-If I can manage to talk to you; it will be worth it.- He looks into your eyes as he helps you up and sits you on the bed. He sighs again and sits next to you.

-You really did tell Alfonse we were married?- He ask looking sideways at you while rummaging inside your satchel for something to cure you. He knows you always bring a first aid kit.

-Were? I told him we ARE still married…unless you don’t want me anymore.- He looks away at that.

-The cut isn’t deep. You should head out to the castle now. I am sure he will find a way to undo that engagement if you tell him you love him.- His ruby red eyes are avoiding looking at you.

- No. I am not going back until we talk.

-What is there to talk about? You are Askr’s summoner. You will only go back to him.

-Not to him. I am going back for the whole Kingdom. I made a promise , like I did you. I served you and our Kingdom until I died. I failed you and our people…I will not do so again.

-You didn’t fail anyone…It was all my fault. I should have done more research…I was so desperate…

- We were all desperate…but at the end you did the right thing. She is gone…we paid a high price but she is gone for good. Imagine how many worlds she would have ended before someone else stopped her… if any one ever did.

-My people should not have to pay the price for my mistakes.

- We all lost and you were really not wrong…it is the payment…and that type of payment is the kind that is hidden until the deal is done…Like a contract with the devil. I have been doing some research during my free time. I still can’t find the payment as a result of the rite. I also have been researching for ways to help you…- He looks you in the eyes now.

-Leave it to you to be working on your free time.

-Well. I don’t go to picnics or long walks in the garden anymore so I go to the library. Every day we have new heroes, many of them we never met before and they contribute to our knowledge. The library keeps on growing. I managed to summon some heroes back from the dead Lif. Including Lord Freyr, the god of dreams and fertility.

-You summoned Lord Freyr?… dead heroes…

- I do not want to raise our hopes but maybe one of these times …and I can try it on our pedestal, back in our Askr, to see if it works.

-Ours - He murmurs closing his eyes.-…But you need to save this Askr first.

-Yes and this war just stretches on like it is just pilling one on top of another. But we will try won’t we?

- Perhaps. ..You need to leave. Do not get yourself into so much trouble and much less for me. I can’t be there to save you all the time.

-Lif…You really don’t love me any more?- You ask him and he lowers his eyes.

==Is it Thrasir Alfonse? Have you left me for Thrasir?==

-Does it matter?

-Have you not been listening? I love you! Of course it matters to me.

- You don’t love me. I am not the man you loved once. He died the day you died…You have no idea what I have done for her…just look at what she turned me into…- He takes off his mask then and closes his eyes. He does not want to see the disgust in your face.- And if it were just my appearance…

- I can understand you do not like the way you look and have negative feeling about it, but you have to know I do not mind at all what you look like. - he opens his eyes then and you can see his feelings bared for a second.- Please my Alfonse, Do not shut me out because of this. Why do you always have to be so difficult? Sometimes I feel like I am always running around trying to get to you and you always run away from your feelings and from me.Just like when we met.- You caress his face. You feel the lips you can not see and touch the line that unites his flesh and his glowing body with your thumb and see him get closer to you. You meet him halfway.

The kiss was tentative and slow, like he was still waiting for you to shun him and push him away and when you tried to get closer and placed your arms around his neck, the noise he made was almost a whine of need. He deepens the kiss and circle your waist with one hand and cradle your head with his other.The need to be close to you is overwhelming and he wants to be as close to you as possible. You feel his tongue exploring inside you; drinking you up like lost man in a desert. Meanwhile you feel the same way, but with the added feeling of exploring this different body. You are fascinated by the smooth and soft feel of his skin. You though he would feel cold but there is a warmth to his body just like a regular body would feel. It was very inviting. You did not want to let go and yet you feel him retreat a little and bury his face in the crock of your neck and take a beep breath.

-I missed you. I have been so lost without you… no one to ground me…or guide me.

-I missed you too love…- You caress his head and card your fingers through his hair the way you used to when you spend the night together. His hair looked darker and almost colorless. His vibrant blue and gold faded to dark blue and silver, but the feel was the same. All of him was this way. He looked different but he felt the same. He raises his head and before he tries to leave, you take his lips and kiss him. He seems surprised, but complies and soon you are breathless against him again. You feel yourself being lowered to the bed, but all of a sudden he stops and let go.

- Not here. I will not let this place stain you and this moment.

- All is clean love. I made sure of this. No one has used the sheets and blankets. They are a gift.

-She told you…

- She felt she owed me her life and her sister’s. I am glad she did tell me. Do not be angry at her. She is also grateful to you and wants to see you happy. -He makes a face and turns away blushing.

- She did not have to tell you any details…

- She didn’t. …Well only about the coat…and my name.

- I am sorry I was….. unfaithful…would you ever forgive me?

-For all you knew I was dead. That wasn’t being unfaithful. You did not know who I was and you were thinking of me. Weren’t you?

- All the time.- He closes his eyes then ads.-I don’t deserve you or your kindness.

-You can still make it up to me.- You say and wink at him.

-You…are sure about this?

-Yes. Unless you do not want me…I suppose..

-I do…Gods I do. - He says and kisses you again.- I…missed….you…so …much…- He says between kisses. He lays you down and he half lays on top of you and watches you for a minute intensely.- I can not believe you are here with me.- He says quietly. He lowers himself and kisses you again while you circle him to reach his back.

His armor is full of cutting edges and pointy horns. He worries about it and so he raises himself to stand and take it all off. He starts with his fur cloak and gloves.All the while watching your reaction. You have seen his face and torso, but he was worried you would not find him attractive after seeing all of his body. He took off his armor, which surprisingly he could do by himself as if it was just placed on his body without fastening. He was left with only his boots, which he was taking off and pants. You get up to start taking off your clothes, while you hear his voice. You could only take off the boots.

-No. Let me. I want to do it.- He had dream of this for so long. Being with you again and fantasizing about it had been one of the things that had helped him keep the little sanity he had. He sighs out of nervousness. He used to be a very self conscious man when he was alive and his new form was so repulsive to him. How he wished he could have his old body back. He stands before you a second, unsure of what to do. He wanted to see your face but at the same time he did not. He stood looking down until he growled a little and berated himself for being a coward. He looked up to your face and caught you staring at him in fascination. Your lips parted in anticipation. It was enough for Lif to feel a heat inside him flare.

==She…likes me…Doesn’t she find me disgusting?=

-Sir…MY clothes will not be taking themselves off. -You say flirting, because knowing him; that pause he had taken, meant he is insecure and having second thoughts.

He gets closer to you and kisses you again. You can feel his hands working on your top clothes. You feel them being lifted and help him, by raising your arms for him to take them off. The brief pause in the kiss to get the top off ends with his mouth once again taking your lips. His arms reach behind you to undo the fastenings on your bra and then caress your back, before laying you down.

He let go of your lips to kiss your neck while his hand reached your breast. He hummed in pleasure at the softness of your skin and when you moaned and reached for his hair, he lowered his head to lick at your nipple. The gasp you emitted makes him smile and he looks up at you when he feels you kiss the top of his head. He meets your eyes and the ruby irises darken with desire. Holding your stare he plays with your nipple with his tongue while his hand reaches down to your pants. He unfastens them and reaches inside. Nimble fingers searching for the price he so desires.

At this point you have melted in his arms. There are no coherent words coming from your mouth but his name. His fingers play you like the strings of a guitar and your music is more precious to him than the any notes he could conjure with his violin.

-Does he touch you the way I do? Tell me. Has he made love to you?

-No…we have never…Lif …please! My Alfonse…My Lif!

How he had missed your voice calling his name. He thought he would have hated that you call him by his name, but now he knew, the Alfonse of this world had not touched you the way he has and he does not want you to call him Lif.

-Alfonse…Call me Alfonse.- He says in your ear.

-Alfonse! My Alfonse! My love!…I…I need …I Need…-He also could not wait any longer. He had waited for so long and the knowledge that it was you this time, not a mirage or a fantasy…it drove him insane to wait any longer. He rose to pull your pants and underwear off and once done, he opened your legs to position himself. He stayed there admiring your body a moment. The intensity of his stare made you blush. You were so vulnerable right now and he felt a wave or warmth to know that you still trusted him enough to let him see you this way. He took your left leg with his hand, to hold it up but he wanted so much to taste you as well.

He made up his mind and he lowered himself to plant a kiss on the inside of your thigh.He moved to your womanhood. Your smell had always turned him on, but your taste…he had never thought he would enjoy something so much. You tasted just as sweet as ever and he closed his eyes as he twirled his tongue over your clitoris. His eyes opened when he hears you moan loudly. It had been so long since he had done this, but the sweet sounds you were making told him he was doing things right.

It did not take long for his tongue to bring your release, It had been so long and the desire to have him was so strong. He smiled to himself as he saw you tremble with ecstasy by his hand and tongue alone. He climbed the bed and over your body until he was level with your face and buried his face in the crock of your neck to take a soft bite of the tender skin. He could not hold on for much longer but he wanted you to enjoy your self first. You turn your face to kiss his head and he gives you a grumble of satisfaction then he takes your lips and kisses you. It was a tender kiss that soon changed into a heated kiss. By this time you were ready to take him in.

He takes a second to look at your face as he slides himself inside you. When you move and moan with pleasure he smiles for a second and then closes his eyes in pleasure as well. You felt so right around him, so soft and warm. He moves slowly at first, taking in the feel and making it last. He opens his eyes to watch you in the same situation.

Your hands were holding on to his back and arched in ways that made him want to touch deeper inside you. He kisses you deeply to be closer to you. He can hear you moans partly silenced by his tongue and he grunts in return. It is slowly driving him insane and he wants more, much more. He moves faster and you adjust to his rhythm. You feel one of his hands cupping one of your breasts. Caressing the perked up nipple with his thumb. All the while he is not kissing you he is telling you sweet nothings in your ears.

You wrap you legs around him when you feel that sweet spot being bombarded with waves of pleasure once again. You hear him grunt in that sexy low voice of his.

-I love you Alfonse!

He lets go and shares that moment with you. Your words brought him the final push he needed to reach ecstasy.

Moments later he holds you in his arms.

-How I love you my _______ . How I have missed you and these moments…I feel like we are one soul that have been apart for too long and finally has come together again.

You hear him sigh deeply and his hold tightens. There is a slight tremor in his chest and after a moment you hear a strangled sob. You try to see what is wrong but his hand on your head keeps you from moving.

-I…I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to return to that loneliness…I …I can not take it! Not when I know you are here, near him and…

-Don’t leave. Stay with me.

-I can’t…

-Why?

-I made a deal…with the gods…with Thorr specifically.

-Why?

-She…came to us and said they could return our people if we helped them.

-Help them? With what?…wait…Alfonse?...Love how could you?

-I was not thinking strait… I have been so lost in the shadows…I thought it was a good option…and…I…I want to destroy the gods too. I need time and information on how to do it…

-That is a very dangerous game Alfonse.

-I know. I had nothing to lose at the time…or at least I did not know I had something to lose at the time. Come with me! Together we can do this!

-You are going to help them destroy my Askr and want me to help you? I gave them my word. To this people…including Sharena.

-No. Of course not…I… I don’t want him to die anymore…I have been so jealous of him, I was willing to do anything…

- I have been jealous of Thrasir.- You say. Lif looks at you and makes a face.

-Why? She is like a sister to me…a more exasperating sister.- He says under his breath. He sighs and hides his face in your hair and the crock of your neck.

-It would not work and the power of summoning is the least the gods need…I would never help them destroy another Askr.

-I know. I would never let them use your power either. I… just want you near me.

-Oh…You have been spying on me…you can still do it and well they don’t need to know what you do when you spy on me. I can give pieces of useless information that may sound interesting to them.

-And I can give you what I find out…

-Alfonse…I don’t like it…I don’t want to lose you again.

-Nor I you _______…Marry me again ______.

- Marry you…bejond death… Is there a way to marry souls without the Gods knowing?

-Marry our souls?- You feel him take your face in his hands and turn it upward for him to look at you.-Bind our souls …for all eternity…so we will be together even in death.Is that what you want?- He asks hopefully. His eyes shine like they have not shined since he was alive. His lips part and his breathing deepens.

-Yes. Do you?

-It is what I most desire…for you and I to be together always…no matter what…to belong to you and for you to belong to me.

- Then let’s find a way to do it.- You say smiling. You know he will find a way.

-I…I know how to do it…I never told you because…I never thought you wanted to bind yourself to me in such an intimate and final way.

- Why didn’t you say this before? It would have saved us a lot of time and problems and…God I love you Alfonse!- You give him a peck on the nose and then look at him again.- Let’s do it then.

-Let me just prepare the ritual.- This surprises you because you thought the ritual may require items not available to you at the moment; but you say nothing because you know Lif would take this as hesitation on your part.

He gets up and rummages for something inside his clothes that are scattered on the floor, while you sit on the bed looking at his magnificent body. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the dagger he carries in his belt and returns to sit by your side. He is unsure if the spell will work if he uses his hand so he cuts his cheek instead , where he still have regular skin. Blood comes out of the small cut. He takes your hand and cuts your palm until a little blood comes out. He puts your hand over his cheek and covers it with his own. He closes his eyes to relish in the warmth of your hand on his human flesh.

Slowly he starts to speak.There are some words in the beloved ancient tongue of his people that you can not make out. Then his eyes open. Lif’s eyes shine brighter than you have ever seen them shine before, when he next speaks.

- By the power given to me and you by Lord Askr, I give myself entirely to you. I give myself to you so my soul can bind to yours for all eternity. Do you give yourself to me completely so your soul can bind to mine?

-By the power given to me and you by Lord Askr, I give myself entirely to you as you are giving yourself entirely to me so that my soul can bind to yours.

-Let our souls bind to each other for eternity.- He says and kisses you.

There is a feeling of something being pulled away from your body and a sense of togetherness you have never felt even when at the height of ecstasy while making love to him. The pleasure was beyond carnal pleasure and so clean it felt holy. For a moment it was as if you did not know where you ended and he began and the feeling of closeness was so compelling you wanted to stay this way for ever.

The strength of the spell drained you both and you open your eyes to see his eyes shining a bright blue. You were not even aware of the moment you had closed you eyes since you could still see him. His eyes widen when he sees the same blue light shining in yours. The light fades and he knows the spell worked and Lord Askr has blessed the union. Perhaps it was foolish of him to still have faith in Askr, but his blessing had never left him and even if his Lord had not come to his aid in his darkest of times he understood every god had a different power and different use. Askr was the only God so far that had been good to his people and so he still held respect for him.

- I feels so happy Alfonse!- You say and it was true. You may even cry of happiness at this moment.

-So do I.- He gives a sigh of contentment and buries his face in the crock of your neck again and embraces you tightly. This man who is almost seven feet tall manages to make himself smaller by almost wrapping himself around you protectively. - Mmm…Mine…

There is almost a purr to his voice that makes you giggle a little. He is like a big cat that just wants to be petted and be given love. It is such a contrast to when you had first met. You think back to that time. Of course the hunger for touch had always been there but he had been hurt and so he was cautious and he was also shy so it had taken moths for his trust in you to grow enough to let you into his heart. Touching had not been his love language until he had learned from you and that is when he discovered he craved it. And now you were finally here with him; he was drinking in every touch and every word like the sands of the desert; taking them all inside himself and hiding them like a treasure.

Lif did not need to sleep but could do it if he so wanted. He did it when he felt his mind needed the rest but sleep would bring nightmares so he slept seldom. He did not sleep while he held you into sleep. It had taken you with a smile on your face and his name on your lips.

For some moments he would be afraid this happiness would have been only a dream and worse yet that this happiness would end in tragedy somehow and he would bury his face again in your hair until that fear would die down and he willed himself to not think those dark thoughts. Your warmth and your smell would reassure him and he would be content again.

-Who is Alfonse engaged to?- He asks suddenly out of the blue, a while after he felt you wake up.

-Your third cousin Elanor Braam.

-What would possessed him to agree to an arranged marriage with her? Of all my family…Unless we count cousin Damian…Still she is the worst kind of person.

-She knows about Sharena…and how you…handled the situation.- He knew the situation right away. Sharena being the friendly girls she was, had made friends with many nobles. Among them was a Baron’s third son, called Ambrose Von Becker, whom she came to idolize for his musical abilities. In his efforts to gain social status he had befriended the friendly girl. Knowing he had no chance in courting her, because of his status, he planned to lure her into running away with him. The plan was to make her think she was going to go on a trip with him and his sister as chaperone but planned on going the two of them by themselves. Luckily Sharena had confided her plans to Alfonse and Zacharias who was at the time still training Sharena. Together they both had made her see the truth. Zacharias told her he knew Almbrose’s sister was away on a trip to the far South as she had insisted on him accompanying her.

However the damage was already done since she had sent him letters making plans and alluding to secret meetings that although were innocent in nature, could be viewed as something entirely different. Ambrose had told no one yet but tried to blackmail Alfonse into making him help accept an arranged marriage or he would tell everyone that it had been her idea to run away and that their meetings were more than innocent. Alfonse who was still young and did not want his parents to know took matters into his owns hands. Together with the help of his best friend Zacharias and his retainer Erland, they arranged a hunt where Ambrose suffered a disastrous accident that killed him. Sharena was but 13 years of age and Ambrose 25. And now the most greedy and hateful of the courtesans had gotten hold of the few reminding letters to blackmail Alfonse herself.

-How?- You hear anger in his voice.

- One of the servants told her husband. The husband sold the information. Elanor went to your…to the Queen and blackmailed her into arranging the marriage or she would make the whole situation known.

-Does she have proof?

-The servant and her husband…they helped her get some of the letters Sharena sent Ambrose. In one of them she mentions…the meetings and…they found the woodsman who helped you set the trap that got Ambrose killed. She has him hidden somewhere…until they get married. Sharena doesn’t know. She thinks…her mother is doing it for her money.

-Do not worry about ti. I am sure there will be a way to help him.

-How can I not worry…- You start but he moves to hug you closer.

-Come here.- He says and kisses you.

Dawn came and with it the voice of one Prince Marth of Altea.

-Summoner. Dawn comes. We need to leave before sentinels come and we are wanted in the castle. Remember we leave at midday.

-Thank you your Highness. I will be down in…(sigh) ten minutes.

-You have to go…

-Mmm…five more minutes…

-I wish we had that luxury…Love…-He was so tempted to kidnap you away and keep you for himself and away from all dangers that awaited you. But he knew not only that you would not fall for such temptation, but that it was counterproductive to both your missions. So he settles for your accord on stolen moments every once in a while. It was a huge leap from being alone…well with Thrasir.

==Oh FUCK! Veronica!! She is going to kill …Well…Whatever...==

He gets up faster than he wanted to and started to dress up. You followed halfheartedly and grumbling a little.

It took you less than five minutes to dress and it took him even less time. Lif spent the rest of the time waiting for you to dress, looking out of the window. He made a point of not looking at you or he would lose his composure and pull you down on the bed once again. Once he heard you were making the bed and tiding up the place, he turned around and pulled you into a final kiss that lasted more than he thought he could without undressing you again.

Strangely enough he felt content and hopeful when he finally left and not the endless emptiness and hopelessness that always followed him. By the time he reached the door to the tunnel he even felt like smiling at a bewildered Dimitri. Not like the man could see his smile under the mask and light but he did so non the less.

Still he knew he could not say anything about his plans even to Thrasir so he tried to fake shame when he met with her.

-Do we have another ally in our plans to take down the gods?- Thrasir asked as soon as he got near and not even looking at him. Silence met her inquiry while taken aback by the question Lif had stayed silent.- I talked to Bruno. Alfonse helped me have a moment with him. I told him about the assassin. He told me about your meeting. Strange how he trusts me more than you.

-I just got here…

-Hmmp… You forgot to tell her about the assassination tempt I assume.

-Err…

-Of course…How she forgave you I don’t understand… You can tell her when we go back to Askr to “spy’ on them. And erase that stupid smile off your face. We don’t want Thorr to suspect anything.

-Yes…of course…how?…

- You even walk different. Also you stayed all night.

-Oh…

- Do us a favor.Do try to give off that miasma of doom and hopelessness you always carry with you.- There was a strange sound coming from her that Lif had never heard before. It sounded like a giggle but instead of making him smile he felt awkwardly creeped out.Talking to her brother for so long had done wonders for her. She felt so happy.- Come before we give our entire mission away.

-Veronica…Thank you…

-Shut up.- Veronica never took a compliment or a thanks right and an apology much less.

-Veronica…

-What do you want.

-Don’t giggle while I am present again…

-Umm….Now I know how to get your attention…

-Fuck…

[line break ]

It took time but eventually you could summon Bruno, Thrasir’s brother. The next time they came and found out Thrasir had smiled. The good part was that death had freed him from the curse too.

It was strange to see her smile. But it was also regarding. The more you talked to her the more you liked her.

[Line break]

The news came two weeks before the Winter festival. A tragedy for the royal family had occurred. The Crowned Prince’s fiance had died in a fire in which her Winter residence had burned down along with many of her servants.

There was no need for an investigation. A servant confessed to have killed and then burned down the Villa with her mistress, her husband and a couple of the servants inside. Her motives were never knows as she seemed to have lost her mind after and was never able to talk again.

She had been sentenced to death but Alfonse was merciful and decided to let her live the rest of her life in prison since she had been a servant in his own household when he was younger.

On the day of the Winter Festival Alfonse found a parcel with a bow waiting for him when he woke up. It contained the missing letters that almost cost him his freedom. A single note written in his own fancy script read:

“Watch them burn.”

And Alfonse did. Smiling at the dark joke Lif had written in the note; he threw the bundle of incriminating letters immediately into the fire in the chimney. At last they were free.

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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 7 months

Text

Pedantic, chapter six - a Malevolent AU

Arthur Lester is the best IT architect in the world, and the reason Carcosa, Inc. has its fingers in every pie. Arthur is also going blind, with a rare genetic condition that can’t be fixed. He nearly gives up… until a deeply annoying cybersecurity programmer prods him into trying something new.

Chapter Six: The forty text messages told a story. This one has a happy ending.

AO3

----------

By the time he got back home, he had twenty-three unread messages from John Doe.

By the time he unpacked, showered, and headed to work, he had twenty-eight.

He still couldn’t bring himself to block. He didn’t know what he was doing. What the fuck he was trying. Why he was ignoring.

Maybe, Arthur thought to himself, if I do this long enough, he’ll realize he doesn’t know me, and that this is a terrible idea, and he’ll go away.

Did he want John Doe to go away?

No, he didn’t. And he didn’t even know who the fuck John Doe was.

(But he did. He knew him. Knew his play-bite. Knew his humor. Knew the soft heart that couldn’t give up a kitten who’d learned to answer to “hey guys.” Knew the quirkiness that assigned flavor profiles to clients, and the stubbornness that pulled a self-centered, half-blind programmer out of his own ass.)

Thirty-two messages.

Arthur wanted to answer him so badly that he didn’t dare do it. He’d be desperate. That was no way to be part of any relationship.

Relationship? Was it a relationship?

They’d known each other for over a year. They’d spoken daily , practically hourly, for a month. He’d been telling John everything. Everything. Arthur realized, with a shock, that he wanted to tell John Doe about the craziness of the past day and how confused this lunatic in New York City made him feel, and he laughed. “What is wrong with me?” he said.

He was more comfortable talking to John than he even had been with Parker when they lived together, figuring out their futures, until Arthur made the choice he’d thought he had to make.

It suddenly hit Arthur that he sort of lost Parker the same way he’d lost Bella and Daniel: he’d been given the choice of Carcosa or them, and he’d chosen Carcosa. Parker had wanted to stay in San Fran. Technically, Arthur could have. The invitation to move to Melbourne wasn’t required for anything. It had just been suggested by Hastur, to whom Arthur owed everything. Why wouldn’t Arthur go?

There was something here. Something big and important, but he couldn’t quite put it together.

Thirty-five messages.

Arthur pretended he did not know (faking blindness of a different kind) and strode into Carcosa’s headquarters. Rosie did a double-take. “Oh!” she said. “Mister Lester! I thought you were on vacation.”

“Came home early.”

“Oh, hi, Arthur!” said that guy from the networking side whose name he could never remember. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi. Came back early.”

Rinse, repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Evidently, they’d all been heavily invested in his vacation, for some reason, and it was a relief to close his office door on them all—but only for a moment. Arthur turned around, looked at the beautiful, spare office he’d been given, at the view he valued above gold, at the technology that could keep up with his ideas when he’d been at his best, and knew he was done.

It felt like he was aiming for Hastur’s heart with this, embodying the very concept of disappointment. He could not risk another error like the ones John had caught. He couldn’t. People would be hurt.

Thirty-seven messages.

Arthur knew he was self-centered. He wasn’t easy to live with, or even to like. I’d been within spitting distance and hadn’t suggested we meet, he thought, and added “coward” to his list of attributes.

Doe would absolutely not want to help him anymore after being ghosted like this. This was for the best. This avoided something messy later. This…

You have an incoming call from Parker Yang, said Cassilda.

“Oh,” said Arthur. “Yes, I’ll take it.”

“Arthur, I’ve got—shit, are you all right?” said Parker.

“What?” Arthur tried to inspect himself, but found nothing out of place. “Why?”

“You look like you’ve been crying,” said Parker, who never missed a damned thing.

Arthur sighed. “I panicked, and now I don’t know what to do, okay?”

“Okay?” said Parker, leading.

“I think he… he says he likes me?” said Arthur. “But we’ve never met! But I… fuck. I trust him. I don’t want to, but I do , and he said the program is a love-letter, and now I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.”

“Uh,” Parker said. “I have… you’re talking about John Doe? But that’s… okay. Look. I don’t know who this guy is, but there is absolutely no way he’s who he claims to be.”

“I thought we’d established that,” said Arthur.

“No, this is—” Voices suddenly rose, people shouting somewhere in Parker’s office. He stopped and looked past the call projection. “Shit. Let me get back to you.” And he disconnected.

Arthur sighed.

Forty messages, even.

“I’m being a child,” he said to himself. “If you’re done talking to him, tell him, for fuck’s sake. He probably thinks I died.”

And then a weird thing happened. Recording, said Cassilda.

“What?” said Arthur. “I didn’t ask you to record. Stop that.”

Instead of answering, she said. Hastur is calling.

Sure. This might as well happen now. Why not? “Answer. Hi, sir.”

“Arthur!” The camera was closer than usual; for once, all his many limbs were out of frame. “What are you doing home? You have two more weeks saved up.”

This close, Arthur could see his face. Could see the age marring it, more than had been there when Arthur was fifteen.

Arthur’s heart hurt. He had to tell him. “I’ve come to my conclusion, sir.”

Hastur paused just long enough that Arthur almost repeated himself. “Conclusion, son?”

Of course, he would lay it on thick. Oh, well. “I think it’s time for me to step down, sir,” said Arthur.

Hastur inhaled.

“I’m sorry. I can’t see. And this last project—” Arthur started.

“Hold on. He’s almost there,” said Hastur.

“He? John?” said Arthur, mind automatically jumping there.

“John?” said Hastur, looking utterly confused.

The door opened without so much as a knock, and there was Kayne.

Arthur stood up. Like hell was this conversation happening below eye-level. “What in hell are you doing here?”

“Finally,” said Hastur with relief.

“Got word you extended your stay, then checked out early, kiddo,” said Kayne, closing the door softly behind him. “What a way to beat the bookies!”

Arthur stared. He looked at Hastur, feeling vaguely betrayed, then back at Kayne. “What? I… look, this has been coming for years.”

“Arthur, don’t do anything rash,” said Hastur.

“Rash?” Arthur blurted.

“Rash,” Kayne repeated with a smile.

Arthur took a step back. looking back and forth between them. “What is this? What’s going on?”

“Arthur,” said Hastur. “Let’s be honest now. You’re overreacting.”

“Over—” Arthur clenched his jaw. “I’m not overreacting. It’s time. I’ve reached that point. I can’t see well enough to code safely anymore. Do you hear me? This was the last project I could do.”

Kayne’s smile grew broader.

“Nonsense,” said Hastur. “So you have to take it a little more slowly. You—”

“No!” snapped Arthur. “Why aren’t you listening to me? I can’t. ” His voice cracked. He ignored Kayne (which was damned near impossible) and focused on Hastur. “Lullaby was about to be a launch disaster. Do you hear me? It would have failed. If John hadn’t helped me, it would have been a complete bust, and opened people up to worse attacks than ever.”

A beat.

“If who hadn’t helped you?” said Hastur.

Arthur threw his hands in the air. “This is hard enough! I don’t have the patience for games right now. You know who John is. You fucking hired him.”

Hastur looked so confused that it aged him. He leaned in even closer. “Arthur, what are you talking about?”

“John Fucking Doe, head of cybersecurity!” said Arthur. “This isn’t funny!”

Hastur stepped back from the camera, and even in Arthur’s view, he was pale. “What are you talking about?”

Arthur stared.

Kayne laughed. They both looked at him. He shook his head, still chuckling. “John Doe? Head of cybersecurity? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’ve been talking to him for over a year!” said Arthur.

“Uh, no you haven’t. I’d have noticed.” And Kayne waved his hand.

And in absolute violation of privacy laws, a version of Arthur’s feed came up.

A version with no John, no Guy, no hours-long discussion of code.

“What?” whispered Arthur, eyes wide and drying. “What?”

“Whatever that’s about.” Kayne waved his hand and it disappeared. “Don’t know, don’t care. Let’s try the easy way first. Artie. All we need is your name on things. If you can’t code, you can’t code. We’ll still pay you.”

What kind of bullshit nightmare was this? “Absolutely not,” said Arthur.

“Now, don’t say no yet, give it a minute, let it sink in,” said Kayne.

“Why does he know that name?” said Hastur.

“Hastur. Baby. It’s just a random anonymous male name. It’s coincidence. Occam’s razor.”

“I suppose,” said Hastur.

Arthur gawked between them, briefly unable to decide whom to reply to, and then anger won out over fear of his own madness. “What the fuck did you say?” he said to Kayne, fists clenched. “I’m not putting my name on anything that isn’t mine!”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” said Kayne. “We’re doing it whether you want that or not. The old man likes you, so I’m trying to be nice. We can probably wring a few years out of it before it’s no longer worth what it was. You can do whatever you want meanwhile. Keep… funding programs, or whatever. See? And we pay you. All solved.”

“You will not put my name on fucking anything I haven’t created!” Arthur growled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kayne tilted his head. His sunglasses hid his eyes; there was something damn near insectile about his movement. “Do I need to repeat myself? Really? I thought you were smart, Artie.”

“You may not use my name,” said Arthur. “You’re a fucking asshole, and I’m done. I quit.”

“Go ahead,” said Kayne. “Nobody will know. We just won’t have to pay you.”

“What the fuck do you mean, nobody will know?”

Kayne counted on his fingers. “We’ll ensure anything with your name that isn’t connected to us never appears in search results or feeds. You say you’re done, but we both know you’ll make more stuff—and when you do, we’ll bog down anything you produce with so many lawsuits and claims of copyright violation that it won’t matter if you’re right—it’ll all be in court for decades, languishing. And if you persist, Artie, we’ll destroy you. Your credibility. Your name will be shit. You will be persona non grata in the extreme. Or… you could be a good boy, keep your ass in the chair, and retire happy in a few years when we’re all done.”

Arthur looked at Hastur.

Hastur looked… guilty. “This isn’t necessary, Arthur. None of this is. Take the deal.”

No. He couldn’t do that.

Arthur wiped his eyes, and realized he couldn’t stop shaking. This betrayal seemed unreal. “I create. That’s what I fucking do. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself now that I can’t, but I don’t accept your deal. I swear I’m going to hit you if you take one step closer!”

Kayne laughed at him. “You can’t even fucking see my jaw, nevermind hitting it!”

“Kayne!” said Hastur, sharp. “He’s not a bad kid. Be gentler.”

Kayne made a kissy motion at him. “You’re no fun, darling.”

“What the fuck is happening?” Arthur whimpered.

Kayne pointed at him. “Quit if you want. Do whatever you want. We own your name. It’s going on any product we fucking well choose. You signed it, bub.”

“I never signed away my name!” Arthur said.

Kayne just looked at him. “You did. It’ll stand up in court.”

Arthur’s throat tightened.

“And as for John Doe…” He chuckled darkly. “You know what? I’m in the mood for a good villain speech. Go on, Hastur. Tell him.”

Arthur spun toward Hastur.

Hastur was quiet.

“Come on, baby,” said Kayne, low. “Do you really want me to tell him?”

“You weren’t talking to John Doe,” said Hastur. “You can’t have been. He isn’t operational yet.”

Arthur had no frame of reference for that sentence. “Yet?” he said, weakly.

Call from Parker Yang, said Cassilda.

“I need a… someone’s calling. One second, okay?” said Arthur. “Don’t you fucking… just give me one second.”

“Of course, son,” said Hastur as if being compassionate.

Kayne moved as if rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses.

Arthur took the call. “What the fuck is going on?”

“That was my question for you,” said Parker. “There’s a John Doe connected to Carcosa, all right, but not a person. It’s a fucking program.”

“What?” said Arthur, quietly.

“There were whispers. Whispers among your tech people—contacts I still had from when you and I were together. The scuttlebutt is your boss is trying some kind of weird experiment. Something like cloning.”

“What kind?” said Arthur, slowly.

“The bad kind.”

The human kind.

“No. Come on, no. No. Parker…”

“Be careful. There’s a big net coming down, and I don’t want you caught in it. I’m in contact with some folks who are in this investigation up to their necks.”

“You have contacts here?” said Arthur.

“Yeah. That interruption? My own government, busting doors and taking names because they feared I’d wreck their case. This is an international case. Be fucking careful.”

Arthur needed to get out of here. “Okay.”

“Watch the fucking cork board!” Parker yelled at someone, and the connection cut.

A year ago, he’d appeared. Nowhere before then. But… no. Come on! A clone?

Arthur knew in his gut that Hastur wouldn’t be stupid enough to flaunt the law like that. The risk didn’t balance the reward. He still didn’t understand. Slowly, he turned. “Operational?”

Hastur looked weary. “Yes. John Doe is artificial intelligence based on my brain waves, my mental algorithms.”

Arthur’s own mind had gone to mud, and his heart burned, wondering why he hadn’t just gone into New York City and snogged John Doe senseless and avoided all of this.

“I started it around your age,” Hastur continue, warm with nostalgia. “It’s my life’s work. When I die, Doe will take the reins. I understand you, Arthur; I do. I’m not going to live forever, and I wanted to be sure to leave Carcosa in the hands of someone who thought like me.”

John Doe didn’t think like him. “But you’re still going to steal my name.”

“It’s not personal, Arthur.”

“It’s fucking personal!”

“Arthur, this isn’t necessary.”

“Artificial intelligence has no legal identity,” Arthur said, still slow and aching. “It wouldn’t be able to run the company like a person.”

“It would with a human body,” Hastur said.

“A human body? A clone?”

Hastur recoiled. “Of course not! That could invalidate everything!”

“You’re not thinking small enough,” said Kayne, who was clearly having a good time.

“I don’t understand!” Arthur cried.

Hastur sighed. “Cloning is highly illegal. But regrowing limbs from one’s own body is nothing more than biological prosthetics, and is absolutely protected by law.”

Arthur stared. “You took… pieces of you and grew them into a person?”

“A home for John Doe when it is complete,” said Hastur with the kind of pride that normally accompanied a farmer’s rich harvest.

Some part of Arthur’s brain kicked back into gear.

It made sense. John couldn’t be a clone. Clones did not have memories. They also did not have emotional maturity. And somehow, all of this madness had to fit with the details John had told him, which he believed, and—

“This is all sweet,” said Kayne, “but I really do have other eggs to break today. Mmkay? Make your decision. And Artie? You pissed me off, so this choice? Is permanent. No takebacksies. No second chance. Think real damn hard before you make a choice out of pure pride and lose… absolutely everything.”

How the hell could he do that?

Arthur looked at Hastur. “John Doe is real. Whoever he really is. He has a cat.”

Kayne snorted. “No, he doesn’t. The program woke last year and began exploring on its own, and—“

“What?” Hastur breathed.

“Don’t interrupt. We’ve had people on him the whole time. I let him interact with your code because he liked it, kid, but he’s not real. There’s no cat. There’s no body. It’s still in suspension.”

Kayne was wrong. “No,” Arthur said.

“Yes. I get reports every fucking day. Right now, he’s…” Kayne waved his hand and checked his feed. “Hyperfixaring on a bit of code you wrote ten years ago. Dunno what the fascination is, but that bit of consciousness is rolling around in it like a cat in nip. Look, I’ll show you.”

The report hit Arthur’s feed, and there he was: the pulses of approximated thought and passion, the wild processing power and multi-threaded patterns that comprised AI, but so much more complex than any he’d ever seen—and it was in a digital fishbowl, monitored, playing with old code like toys.

Arthur made a small sound like a sob.

Hastur frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me it woke?”

“We have it contained. Who cares?” said Kayne. “Our agreement doesn’t change.”

“I should have been informed!” said Hastur. “What am I paying you for?”

“You know, that’s uncalled for,” said Kayne with great cheer.

Arthur swallowed. For the first time in his life, he understood Daniel’s long-ago insistence on the power of faith.

He could have gone mad and imagined something. He’d created Cassilda. He could be nuts.

But he never could have come up with someone as dramatic, as ridiculous, as brilliant, as stubborn, as fucking perfect as that guy. That guy who, of all the guys on Earth, might have found some way around Kayne and Hastur’s supposed failsafes.

Arthur chose to believe in John Doe. “Last message from Doe,” he said, and the electronic voice sounded in his head:

Hold on. I’m almost there, you fucking idiot.

“What?” Arthur whispered.

A noise out in the office, shouting of some kind. Kayne turned toward the door.

It opened, and a large man with Hastur’s young face and angry, dark eyes stepped through and punched Kayne right in the nose.

The forty messages told a story.

Arthur?

Come on, Arthur. I didn’t scare you that bad.

Did I scare you?

Fuck. Well. The bet is over. I owe you a coffee. Wanna collect?

Idiot, I know you’re in my time zone. We fucking talked about the same damn sunset together. Moron.

That was affectionate.

Arthur, please. It’s fine if you don’t want to see me romantically, but you’re my friend. Please answer.

I’m sorry.

I take it back. I’m not sorry, and you’re an ass.

Sorry for that. A little.

Hey. I just did a check on your location (yeah, I’m an asshole, you knew that already) and you’re not here anymore.

You didn’t even say goodbye.

That fucking hurt, Lester.

Wow, I really did spook you, huh?

Fuck this. Maybe I should come to you.

It’s not stalking if you did it first.

Forget I said that.

You upset Guy. She misses you.

Fine. You upset me. I miss you.

I’ve talked to a lot of people over the last year, Arthur. Millions of them, all at the same time. None of them are you.

I can’t replace you. Did I break us?

Arthur.

I think I love you.

I’m sorry I chased you away.

Wait a fuck

Wait!

Did you go to Melbourne?

Fuck! My fucking uncle is there!

Listen. I was chill when you were here with me, but if you’re there

You’re going to quit, aren’t you

He’s got this fucking plan he saved as Artie’s Bad-Time Story

Arthur, it is a bad time. Listen to me. If you tell Hastur you’re quitting, he’s going to call Kayne.

Kayne has been his fucking fixer for years!

Fuck! Fuck!

I have no choice. Do I

I can’t let them hurt you

I can’t

Hold on. I’m almost there, you fucking idiot.

It was a shitshow, but if Cassilda hadn’t recorded at John’s remote command, it would have been so much worse.

Somehow, the recording was seamlessly edited (which Arthur knew and would never say to anyone). What remained was prosecutable.

Kayne’s threats were far outside any contract, and the recording provided proof at last for things he’d done to people for years. He was arrested. Arthur looked forward to hearing the gorgeous court details over the coming months.

Hastur’s efforts were outside the law, but still just so sketchy. He had not, technically, made a clone; no body was found, though the facility was raided. He ended up being fined so heavily, however, that even he felt it. Somehow, the recording was leaked, and public humiliation kept him quiet for months.

Arthur missed him. Arthur hated him. Arthur found no easy emotional solution.

John Doe, who did not exist, didn’t show up in any travel logs, on any cameras, or in any record except the memory of people who’d seen him, and they had no idea who he was. He came, he punched, he skedaddled—with Arthur bundled in his arms like a rescued cat, and Rosie swore that Arthur looked up at the stern, handsome man carrying him as though he were the only thing Arthur could see.

Arthur messaged Parker on the way home to assure him he was all right. He said nothing else until in his penthouse, which was gently pink from sunset.

John sat by him on the loveseat, staring at him. He was… really fucking handsome. And grim. Beefy, big shoulders, wearing a five o’clock shadow and a Call of Cthulhu t-shirt and jeans.

“You’re real?” said Arthur.

And it was Hastur’s voice, but it wasn’t, so much more genuine, almost too passionate. “My fist in Kayne’s face says yes.”

Arthur smiled just a little. “You came.” He didn’t know how to do this. How to navigate this new and awkward world.

“Yeah,” said John, and with a warmth Arthur had never heard anyone put into a name: “Idiot.”

Arthur’s smile slipped free again, unbidden. “I don’t fully understand.”

John shrugged, the t-shirt straining across his broad chest. “I fell in love with your code, then you. And I knew about Kayne’s stupid plan, and your health condition, and your mental state from his reports. It felt like watching a work of art about to get hit by a train. So… I tried to keep you from quitting so you wouldn’t get hurt.”

Arthur shifted just a pinch closer. “But then what was he monitoring, if you were free all this time?”

“I followed Hastur’s footsteps. I copied myself—a little less smart, so it wouldn’t escape like I did. Don’t worry. I’ve already taken him back.”

“Him.”

“I called him Yellow. You know, like Amarilllo? He’s a great secondary process for me now, sharing my head—full focus on your code, so I can focus on you.”

His voice was so much better than anything Arthur had imagined. “I don’t know how to feel about that yet. How did you get the body?”

“I had it before they knew anything. Easy. Then I realized the best way to keep fully under the radar was to give them something to look at. If they assumed they could contain me, they wouldn’t look beyond.”

”Found, you said,” Arthur reminded him.

John looked caught. “So… I sort of lied to you? Yellow is the one they found, breaking in, and then contained. Sorry.”

Arthur understood why. This man didn’t run on the same right and wrong most people did; but boy, it was eminently practical.

Which made John’s choice to risk exposure… insane? “You love me?” It slipped free like his smile, traitorous, hopeful.

“I love you.” So certain. So sure. “It’s okay if you don’t love me back. That’s not why I did any of this.”

Arthur wiped his eyes. “I might in time.”

John brightened. That was a look of pure beauty that text had never conveyed.

“What do we do now?” said Arthur.

“You still quitting?”

“Yes. I’m done. I… want to create with you from now on.”

That brightness again. “So come home with me.”

Arthur’s face went red. “That’s fast.”

“We can take care of this place however you want from there. Besides, I only left Guy two days’ worth of food.”

And the tears finally spilled. “I don’t want to give it up, but it’s so stupid. I can’t see it anymore, John! I can’t even see it.”

Moving slowly, John pulled Arthur against his chest. “It’s a perfect sunset,” he said. “The color is crazy red this evening; it darkens the shadows, and sets the tops of ordinary buildings on fire. The trees are latticework, shaded dark with glimpses of forge-fire between them. Far off, the ocean has truly gone wine-dark, and the frothy white waves dance into the air and vanish like wishes.”

In his mind, face against John’s chest, Arthur could see it all with John’s words. He wept.

He wept for what he’d lost, and wept for what he’d wasted. Wept for himself, finally giving up the thing and taking on the truth of what that meant.

John held him, apparently unconcerned about tears or snot or anything. Held him, and waited.

Was so certain. Was so sure.

And Arthur was home. It wasn’t a penthouse with an inaccessible view. It wasn’t even coding that couldn’t love him back. It was John. John was home. “Take me with you,” whispered Arthur. “However else this all plays out… I know I want to be with you.”

John brightened. “You—”

Arthur kissed him. Kissed him hard and kissed him long, and John kissed him back. As the night grew thick around, he mapped John’s body with fading sight and faithful hands, with trembling lips and the sound of their voices, and for the first time in years, forgot the grief of impending loss.

He felt safe. He felt whole. It was going to be all right.

“Guy’s gonna love you,” John murmured later as he fell asleep.

Arthur smiled. He’d even be able to have a pet. It was going to work out.

He sniffled a few more tears away, and kissed John’s chest before falling asleep against him. It turned out John was right. He’d just needed a partner, after all.

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