#especially cause i have just started slowly working on some other complicated things about myself like past traumas and stuff

[greghatecrimes]

Okay. Buckle up babes, it's finally Foreteen time and I wrote an essay.

Foreman and Thirteen are so interesting to me in so many ways. You have Foreman, who thrives off of control, and Thirteen, who refuses to be controlled in almost every aspect of her life. In the sense of them as individual people, they both have a lot of their own issues going on. Hot messes, the two of them. But in the sense of them as a couple, I think Foreman specifically is the only one who has issues with the relationship. (Or rather, Thirteen's issues aren't being projected onto the relationship and causing difficulties at the end of s5/beginning of s6, while Foreman's are.)

Foreman's biggest thing, at least in the latter part of their relationship, is control in regards to emotions. After they found Kutner, he coped with everything by isolating himself. A huge part of me thinks that's because this terrible thing just happened, the floor just fell out from both of them in so many ways, and Foreman feels like he doesn't have a grip on anything anymore. The only thing he can control is himself, and how he reacts. So Thirteen? Even though she's his girlfriend and he's worked with her for two years, her emotions and reactions are fundamentally beyond the scope of his control; she's still a wild card. She's not safe. So instead of letting himself lean on Thirteen, letting them grieve together, letting them comfort each other, for his own stability, Foreman chooses to cope (and thus reject Thirteen when she reaches out for support) by retreating into an environment that he's intimately familiar with. He surrounds himself with only variables that he can confidently predict. It's his gut instinct. It's always worked before, so why wouldn't it work this time? Why would it have any reason to cause problems?

In season four and the first half of season five, Thirteen was very much the same way. When things became too overwhelming for her, she repeatedly dealt with them by running, by hiding; by trying to isolate herself from the people who care about her and want to help her. The same base principle drives them both at this point: "what's out of my control is dangerous in some way or another. The only one who's safe to be around is myself, because I am the only person that I can control." But by mid season five, Thirteen has come a long way from that. Slowly she's becoming much more of a "recovering control freak". She's starting to be okay with the fact that she's not always going to have the amount of control that she has right now. She knows that all of it is something she has to come to terms with, and slowly she's getting to a point where she's accepting her diagnosis and working on all the baggage that comes with it.

Thinking about that– the fact that, by mid season five, Thirteen is approaching a point in her life of letting go, of learning to 'go with the flow'; while Foreman is very much still on the side of "I thrive and keep myself safe by controlling every aspect of my life possible"– makes them fundamentally incompatible as a couple from the get-go, even with all of the chemistry they had. Because the moment they get together (the Christmas party in 5x10 "Joy to the World") is right after Thirteen's decided that she doesn't want to die; when she's just starting to process her diagnosis instead of running from it.

Do I think there was/is love there? Yes. They absolutely care about each other, both during and after the relationship.

Do I think they would have worked out long term? The simple answer is "no".

The more complicated answer is that if they had been able to avoid the fiasco of Foreman running the department and then firing Thirteen after House quit, I think they could have made it work. But it would have been rocky, and it would have been especially rough for Foreman. Extremely so if it were to reach a point where they've stayed together for years and years, and Foreman is with Thirteen when she really starts to decline with her Huntington's.

Foreman is Thirteen's friend; he's also seen people slowly wither away from degenerative disease (his mother, with Alzheimer's), and he's a neurologist (and so he knows exactly how she'll decline, down to every last detail). All of those things give him greater emotional stakes in her Huntington's diagnosis beyond what's typical. But specifically in the situation of them facing this as a couple, you have this level of involvement where Foreman– someone who needs a high amount of control to function on a fairly basic level– is in an incredibly intimate relationship with Thirteen, whose entire life is inevitably and actively slipping out of her control. And in that scenario... I think that when the decline does start happening, it would absolutely terrify Foreman. To be the one that's by her side as a partner– seeing all of it firsthand, the pain and grief and sickness? And as her significant other, being the one that would potentially become a medical proxy when she's too sick to advocate for herself, faced with the possibility of making life or death decisions (like whether or not to euthanize the woman he loves)? I think that would have the potential to utterly destroy him.

As a friend, though? ("Ex-partners who have gotten back to a shaky friendship after the breakup, and still care about each other deeply", but "friends" for short.) The entire situation completely changes. I firmly believe that post-canon, if Foreman knows House offered to kill Thirteen before he "died", he would offer to kill her in House's stead in a heartbeat (just like I think Chase does). THAT sort of involvement with Thirteen's decline and care is far less terrifying, because now this is not the decline of someone that he's based his entire future on. This is not someone he's given half of his heart to; this is not someone he's built an entire life with and entwined himself so thoroughly with.

With the way things work out in canon, they're still friends, and they still care about each other; but at the end of the day, they're two separate people with two separate lives, two separate futures. And so Foreman doesn't lose a single ounce of his control as Thirteen's is slowly taken from her, bit by bit. Witnessing that is still a pain that is unimaginable. But for him, it's survivable. And that's the key difference (and why I ship Foreteen during season five and season six, but not post canon).

[fletchingbrilliant]

🌙some wildly cheap commissions!🌙

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hey y'all. long post thingie but it's got cute pictures so please check it out

TRANSCRIPT OF POST

hey frens got something kinda somber to talk about. most of you are very aware of the existence of my beautiful fiance and co-creator of basically everything i do. zae and i are getting handfasted (marriage for pagans) in october, and have been living together for about 10 years. in 2021, zae got really fucking sick, and after a few false starts, was diagnosed with a rare for of vasculitis called granulomatosis with polyangiitis, GPA for short. it’s an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in blood vessels and other tissues, ultimately stopping blood from getting to the parts of the body that need it, affecting many areas, but primarily the respiratory system. while the cause isn’t known, it usually presents in people in their 50’s or 60’s, but complications from a third bout of covid-19 appears to have made it emerge way earlier for our boy. at least, that’s what we think. his case is extremely aggressive, advancing faster than anyone could have expected. in zae’s case, it actually attacked his kidneys first, and then went after his lungs, causing both to threaten shutting down for good. he was extremely anemic and needed a ton of transfusions, narrowly avoiding dialysis, and we spent weeks in the hospital keeping him alive. he was placed on two different kinds of chemotherapy to combat the disorder. he lost his hair, went through even more fatigue and pain on top of what the disease had already put him through, and had to accept a plethora of changes to his life that will last forever. a lot of you out there have harrowing experiences of your own when it comes to chronic and potentially terminal conditions, too, I’m certain. “it’s not fun” is an understatement. though there were a couple of really fucking close calls, zae’s GPA went into remission. his hair grew back fuller and more luscious than it had ever been before. (i later learned these are affectionately referred to as “chemo curls.”) remission for gpa is usually expected to last at least 5 years, potentially up to 20, before any symptoms resurface. but zae’s case was particularly aggressive, so of course he’s not so lucky. he’s relapsing now. his symptoms have been slowly returning, and it’s been decided that he’s going back on chemo. it’s no surprise that this shit is expensive, even with insurance. we’re still paying off the care he received last time because ‘murca. being disabled myself, work has been… let’s call it inconsistent, yeah? yeah, that’s a nice and comfortable thing to call it. no one’s doing well financially these days, so we of course have to get creative. long story short(er), i’m doing a commission special! for the next MONTH, i am offering fast commissions at crazy-low prices to try and help us create a cushion to keep us afloat and relatively comfortable while we begin the chemo process again. there’s several options for a variety of budgets, because i really hate the idea of seeking something for nothing, and i absolutely abhor having to reach out in this way. it makes me feel vulnerable and icky and… i’m sure you all understand that, too. i can’t thank you all enough just for following me, and engaging with mine and zae’s work. it may sound trite, but that really makes a difference to us, especially when we’re dealing with something so painful. so if you can’t or don’t want to partake of the sale, please know that you are still a huge help to us, and we seriously appreciate each and every one of you. like, so fucking much. thanks y’all love, fletch

END TRANSCRIPT

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more Hungry Games, fic fanart, and Persona stuff coming soon too

[the---hermit]

Okay so I'm going to ask for some very specific recommendations, cause I need help. Has anyone got some good articles, or even video idk, regarding the whole fact that when you are queer you experience a sort of secons adolescence in your 20s (or when you figure out your queer of course)? Because I have always heard people refer to this, but never really read any serious articles or anything, and I think I am starting to experience this myself in some kind of way, and I'd like to learn more to understan what the hell is going on with me.

I hope this makes sense, also anyone who might had or is having this experience and feels comfortable sharing would be of great help. Thanks in advance to anyone who will see this and share some resources!!

Edit: I also didn't mention that all articles/experiences/informations are welcome and I am really thankful for that, but if you have recommendations regarding the bisexual experience it would be even more helpful for me.

[captains-simp]

Hi can you write a carol fic where carol and fem!reader are exes but reader is also a villain so she constantly pisses off carol just to get her attention 🥳 happy ending too plz

Girlfriends to enemies to yearning enemies to lovers??? Where has this idea been all my life?

1.5k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"She's at it again." Natasha sighed as she watched the TV screen carefully. Carol groaned loudly and hid her face in her hands, not wanting to look up at the screen to see the havoc you had caused.

"Fuck sake, y/n." Tony mumbled but felt a regrettable sense of pride deep down at seeing your latest handy work. Played to perfection. As always.

Stark had been your mentor once. Everything you knew you learnt from him and while he never would have taught you if he knew what you would do with his teachings, he couldn't deny that your skills were unmatched.

You never hurt anyone. Well. You never killed anyone. There was always someone who might have gotten a little battered in an explosion, but it was never your goal to murder. You just wanted a certain blonde's attention.

"Maybe you could-" Steve started but Carol cut him off as she grabbed her jacket from the back of the couch and called out over her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill." She mumbled begrudgingly and left the common room area with a faint glow starting to appear around her.

¤

You swung your legs excitedly as you watched the scene still unfolding beneath you.

The building was still ablazed. Appartments. Shitty shitty appartments. Every one of them had mold growing in the corners, damp in the ceilings, barely functioning heating and questionable water.

The people who lived there couldn't afford to upgrade or even repair their homes and the landlord wouldn't do anything. So you decided to burn it down.

Carefully planned, of course. Most of the preparation had been around securing future homes for those who lived in that shithole. It was a complicated process, especially giving the anonymity of it. But it would be successful. And the landlord? He would be stuck with a bill he should have been paying for a long time, you made sure he couldn't get the ex tenants to pay either.

It was a good day.

You weren't a vigilante as such. Not any more. You had given it a go but you didn't have the tracking or assassination skills of Natasha so you never got any big targets. It wasn't enough. Not when all you wanted was to prove you had the strength to look after yourself and then some. That was what it was all about.

You had worked tirelessly to prove it ever since Carol broke up with you. She had always been fiercely protective. But when insecurities and paranoia started building too high she couldn't shake the distressing thoughts that something could happen to you one day. Something that was caused because you were so close to her. Something she couldn't prevent.

She still loved you. That much you knew. That was what kept you going. You knew Carol wasn't overjoyed at the things you did, there were times you weren't either. But you had to get her back. She was the love of your life and you'd be damned if you gave up what you had the way she had.

It didn't take long for her to arrive. There wasn't anyone else around because while you didn't want to broadcast your location to everyone, it needed to be enough for the Avengers to find you.

"Hey baby!" You grinned up at Carol as she landed infront of you, stoic expression wavering at the enduring name. "How've you been?" You continued in a sing song voice.

"Stop that." She said, not as firmly as she hoped she would sound.

"Rough week?" You asked as you sat down on the ledge and patted the spot next to you. Carol looked around at her surroundings and you rolled your eyes.

"Fine, we'll go somewhere more private." You raised your voice at the last word, hoping whatever camera they had found you on had audio and picked up on what you said. Carol grimaced at the volume but followed you anyway.

"So how is work?" You continued and you strolled down the path next to the blonde.

"I'm not here for a catchup, y/n. But for your information you're making it a pain in my ass." She huffed and you smiled, remembering all the times she ranted about work to you. Now she probably ranted about you to work. Or did she never want to talk about you? Your smile dropped with your stomach at the thought but you quickly recovered.

"So what are you here to do, Captain?" You teased as you got to the bottom of the path and walked a few feet into an old tunnel and stopped to face Carol.

"You need to stop this, y/n." She said firmly. You considered her for a moment.

"Do you think I can look after myself?" You asked seriously.

"Y/n-" Carol sighed.

"Do you?" You continued, wanting to know more than anything. She looked up and considered you too.

It had been a year since she broke up with you, a year that you had changed a lot in. Not just mentally. Your once soft hands were now calloused and slightly red. Your soft smile now held something more to it, something that you had to keep back and locked away. There were scratches and cuts scattered across your body. But really what changed most was that you were alone. There was no one to watch your back anymore.

Despite your efforts to show Carol how strong you were, you were more vulnerable then than you ever had been in your life. Maybe that was why she finally had enough.

"I do. I think you always could." You nodded because yes, that's exactly what you wanted her to understand.

The blonde looked down at her own hands, her eyes flickering to yours every so often. You knew what she wanted. You reached out slowly and gently entwined your rough hands that seemed to still feel so perfect against her own.

"You've really been a pain in my ass, you know that?" She asked and you couldn't help but laugh because that's an understatement.

"So have you!" You exclaimed through a laugh. "You think blowing up buildings is easy?" Carol laughs this time, ready with a come back as always.

"Well for me it's-" You punched her arm before she could finish making her laugh more. God you missed that laugh.

"Cocky as always." You mused and stroked your thumb over the back of her hand. She hummed in agreement, clearly more focused on your movements.

"I'm meant to take you in." She admitted and you weren't quite sure what to do. Yes, you want Carol back. But your goal was always to make her see how capable you were. You had been blinded by the goal and done things she never would have approved on. Carol knew you were strong, but now you might have become someone she can't love. You never thought that far ahead.

"Just...visit me?" You asked hopelessly. She looked up at you and you were taken aback by seeing tears welling in her eyes. You untwined your hands in an instant and reached up to cup her face but felt tears of your own upon seeing her conflicted face.

It was only then that you stopped to realise everything she must had been through in that year apart. The things you put her through.

"I'm sorry." You admitted as tears streamed down your face. "I never meant to- I don't know I thought, well I wasn't thinking." You rambled in shame and Carol brought her hands up to your face too and brought you forward to rest your foreheads together.

"I missed you." She spoke out quietly. "I never stopped missing you, or loving you." She pulled away slightly to look you in the eye and you saw the truth shining back at you.

Then, she brought you closer again, closer so her lips were right next to your own. She stopped to hesitant, wondering if following her heart was the right choice. But when you closed the gap to kiss her she knew it was right. That you could figure things out like you always did.

You kissed her with everything that had built up inside of you for that year apart. The plans, the yearning, the love. All of it. You had waited such a long time to be with her again, unsure if it could even happen, and yet her lips felt as perfect against yours as ever. Like a distance had never grown between you.

Carol pushed you against the tunnel wall as she kissed you back with everything she had. You were everything to her. You always had been and it had never wavered.

When your lips became bruised and breathing became an issue you both pulled away and stood in each other's embrace for you didn't even know how long.

"What now?" You couldn't help but ask.

"We'll figure something out." Carol said as she laced your fingers together again.

"We?" You asked, wanting to pinch yourself to see if it was all real.

"Yes, you and me. Together." You sighed and pulled her closer towards you where you could burry your face in her neck.

"Thank you for giving me a chance." You whispered.

"Thank you for never giving up." Carol whispered back.

[triptuckers]

All of you - Bucky Barnes

Request: nope Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader Summary:  Bucky is incredibly lucky to have someone who is gentle with him. Warnings: mentions of (bucky’s) trauma, bucky being a lil sad :( Word count:  1.3K A/N: I treated myself to rewatching tws and someone give bucky A HUG right now!! I love him so I wrote this. enjoy! :)

It’s soft. 

Bucky wakes up and the trail of fingertips on his chest is soft. He’s not used to it. He’s never been touched like this. With care, with love, with hesitation. It was always harsh, and painful.

H.Y.D.R.A., Zola, countless scientists and doctors. They were never gentle. They cut him and jabbed him with their fingers and medial instruments.

H.Y.D.R.A. never saw him as a human being. All they could see was the potential of a super soldier. He was an experiment, a tool in their desires to spread fear and chaos and to create a war. To H.Y.D.R.A., Bucky was a mere pawn in their game. He was never a human to them.

They were never gentle with him. But you are.

Your fingertips are soft. They caress the skin on his chest. They slowly draw random figures on his stomach. Trailing up and down. Though he’s awake now, Bucky keeps his eyes closed. He wants to linger in the moment and your touch for a little while longer. 

He was hesitant, at first. He’d always had trouble trusting people and opening up to them. When you met him, he was scared. You didn’t blame him. You knew his story, what he’d been through, what they’d done to him. You understood that he was anxious, frightened. You would feel the same way if it were you.

And so you were patient. You gave him all the time he needed. And it paid off.

With time, Bucky started to trust you more. The process was slow, and there had been some set backs when you accidentally moved too fast or asked him about something he wasn’t ready to talk about.

But you never shut him out. You never left him. You remained patient. You remained gentle, loving and soft. And Bucky was grateful.

No matter how many times Bucky told you he didn’t deserve you, that you’d be better off with someone who could give you a normal life, you never left. You promised him you’d stay.

Your fingers are soft.

Bucky finally opens his eyes and looks over to his side. You’re looking at him with a faint smile on your face.

You can’t believe how beautiful he is. You know he doesn’t believe you. You’ve spend every day since you met him trying to get him to see the truth. But he never does.

‘You’re beautiful.’ you whisper.

‘Good morning to you too.’ he whispers back.

You’re leaning on your hand, looking down at him. your fingers move from his chest to his cheek.

‘Your fingers are soft.’ Bucky states, making you chuckle. ‘Yeah?’ you say, and he nods. ‘It’s different.’ he says. ‘I’m not used to it.’

You’re silent as you look at him. You know the tone in his voice. You only hear it when it’s early in the morning or late at night. Or when it’s a rainy day and you’re cuddling up next to him on the couch. Or when it’s a sunny day and you’re in the garden, soaking up the sun.

It’s the tone he always speaks in when he talks about his past. 

You’ve learned how to recognise the signs, and know what to do. So you’re silent, and wait for him to continue speaking.

‘They were always harsh.’ says Bucky softly. ‘Not like you. You’re gentle. They didn’t care. No one did. They didn’t care how uncomfortable I was or how much pain they caused me. I was always their experiment, their puppet, their winter soldier.’

Bucky closes his eyes and leans into your touch. You slowly stroke his cheek with your thumb.

‘I hated it.’ he sighs softly.

‘I know you did.’ you whisper. ‘But you don’t have to go back to that. Ever. And I know you still have nightmares and flashbacks, and I don’t think they’ll ever leave. But I won’t leave either. It’ll never go away, but you can learn how to live with the memories. I’ll help you.’

‘You’re amazing.’ he mumbles.

‘Do you have plans for today?’ you ask him.

‘Just a training session with sam.’ says Bucky. ‘But not until after lunch.’ ‘Good.’ you say.  ‘Why, do you have any plans?’ he asks.

‘No, but I just wanted a morning with you before you run off doing god knows what again.’ you say, earning a soft chuckle from him. 

Bucky reaches out to pull you closer. You shiver a bit when his metal hand touches your skin. Luckily, you’ve gotten used to the material. When you first met him, his metal arm was another barrier you had to break.

He hated the thing. Though it took him a while to actually admit this to you out loud, you’d noticed his behaviour. The looks he gave himself in the morning when he saw himself in the mirror. He’d trail his fingers over the line where his own flesh met the cold material.

You never touched his arm in the beginning. Afraid it would be a bridge too far, that it would take you back to when you first met, and you had to earn his trust all over again.

The first time you actually touched his arm, you wasn’t aware he was awake. It was late and you thought he’d fallen asleep. You knew he didn’t like his arm, especially the red star on his shoulder. It reminded him too much of the horrors of his past. So, when you thought he was asleep, you took out a marker and drew on the star, covering it. You put lines around the circle, creating a sun. 

When Bucky realised what you’d done, he was speechless. You thought you had gone too far and you immediately started apologising, telling him you’d wash it off but his hands caught ahold of yours as he stopped your rambling.

He told you he didn’t mind. That you didn’t need to apologise. That it was okay and he even liked it a bit.

After the encounter, it became a habit of yours to draw a sun on his shoulder whenever he was feeling stressed or anxious. It was your way to tell him without words it was going to be okay.

‘A morning with you sounds nice.’ says Bucky as you rest your head on his bare chest.

‘Unless Natasha comes bursting in again, we’ve got the whole morning to ourselves.’ you say.

The two of you lay in silence for a while. You watch the sun slowly rise. While being safely tucked away in Bucky’s arms, you almost fall asleep again, but his voice prevents you from doing so.

‘I never thanked you, you know?’ he says.

‘For what?’ you mumble, feeling your eyes get heavier.

‘For seeing me as a human being, and not a soldier or some sort of scientific experiment.’ he says.

‘You don’t need to thank me for that.’ you say. ‘I just tell you what I see, that’s all. And I don’t see a soldier or experiment, I just see a beautiful and kind hearted man.’

‘Still, you could have easily hated me.’ says Bucky softly.

‘But i don’t.’ you say, lifting your head so you can look at him. ‘It’s so much easier to hate someone than to love them. Hate is a strong emotion, it can quickly consume you without you even realising it. But love, on the other hand, is complicated. It takes bravery to show another human all of you. To allow them inside your head. Lovers are far more courageous than people who hate.’

‘I’m lucky you love me.’ says Bucky. ‘I’m so incredibly lucky.’

You smile and lean in to kiss him. ‘I love you.’ you whisper against his lip, making him smile. ‘I love all of you, Bucky.’ you say.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Jo

[atlabeth]

transferred part twelve - atla smau

masterlist | part eleven | part thirteen

this takes place about 2 weeks after the last chapter

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well. 

wc: 3.6k 

a/n: i’ve been writing bits and pieces of this since the start of this series so. enjoy. that’s all im gonna say lmao 

warning(s): cursing, mentions of familial death, mentions of abuse, some angst but also some fluff. this is kind of a heavy chapter because both zuko and y/n talk about their past, but there is fluff at the end. 

~~~~~~~~

You pushed your hair out of your face and tried to blink the sleep out of your eyes, catching a glimpse of the time on the corner of your laptop. 

3:23 AM. 

You should’ve been asleep a long time ago, but all of your professors had decided to schedule tests in the same week so it was one of many, many late nights you had had lately. You thought that they would cool down because midterms were coming up, but BSSU professors kept proving you wrong. Late nights like these were becoming a regular occasion, and right now you just needed a break. 

The tea dates with Zuko were the only things keeping you sane. But could you even call them dates? 

It was the two of you, together, sitting and talking over tea for hours, and they were happening multiple times a week. In fact, you and him had gotten tea together exactly 9 times in the past two weeks — and that wasn’t even counting all the talking during your shared shifts. 

Katara, Suki, and Toph told you that they were dates, you wanted them to be dates, but there was a part of you that was so incredibly scared that you were wrong — that moving past that bridge would ruin the friendship that you cherished so much with Zuko — that you kept things solely platonic. No matter how much you wanted to kiss him every time he gave you that smile. 

But thinking about the complicated relationship you had found yourself entangled in with Zuko wasn’t a break, no matter how many times you had pondered over it before falling asleep in the wee hours of the night. 

You closed your laptop and grabbed your jacket that had been carelessly tossed on a stool at the kitchen island, making sure to sneak out of the apartment as quietly as you could. You opted to work in the living room, choosing to camp out on the sofa whenever you had to stay up as late as this, just so you wouldn’t wake up Sokka. Your brother had no idea how much you did for him. 

The cool breeze hitting your face and the shining stars in the sky were a welcome change of scenery from the lifelessness that was your apartment at night and your computer screen that you were sure was going to cause you eye issues later in life with how bright it was. 

You took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling the crisp night air, and started to walk. You were sure you looked like a mess. You were wearing some flannel pajama pants, a BSSU tank top, tennis shoes, and Zuko’s jacket.  He had never asked for it back after that night at the party, and when you had showed up to one of your hangouts wearing it, he told you that you could keep it — “it looks better on you anyways” — so you did. 

There was something calming about the atmosphere. You knew that a lot of women were anxious about going out at night, especially alone, but that was why you had taken self defense classes. Being friends with Suki was a self defense class in its own, and it was very much appreciated. You allowed yourself to get lost in your thoughts, trying to give yourself the break that you deserved, when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. 

“You know, it’s not safe to be out alone at this hour.” 

You let out a scream at the unexpected voice and whirled around, your fists already up to defend yourself. When you saw who it was, you laughed, completely shocked, and hit your hands against your legs, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. 

“Holy shit, Zuko, you can’t just sneak up on someone like that!” you wheezed. You had no doubt that he only had good intentions, but for a second you thought someone was going to try and kill you. You had to admit, the scare was worth it to see the mix of horror and embarrassment on Zuko’s face.

“I’m so sorry!” His hands were held up placatingly in front of him and he let out a nervous laugh as well, but it did nothing to cover up the wide eyes he stared at you with. “I am so sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I- I was just up studying too, and I heard you leaving so I thought you could use some company- I swear, I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything!” 

You shook your head but couldn’t stop the smile on your lips, gesturing for him to come closer while you caught your breath. “It’s fine. Come on, walk with me.”

He fell into step beside you and the two of you walked in silence for a while, the only disruptions being the occasional car that drove by. It was eerily quiet, but with Zuko, it was nice. 

“So-”

“So-” 

Both of you laughed when you each interrupted the other, and when you motioned for Zuko to go first he shook his head. You paused for a moment, the question on the tip of your tongue, before you decided to take the plunge. 

“I’ve been wondering since I got here; how did you end up as friends with—” You gestured around with your hands. “—this whole crew? It’s kind of a weird combination of people, so I guess I just wanna know how you became a part of it.” 

Zuko sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing your eyes to widen a little bit as a stammered apology came out. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to-” He gave you a tight smile and shook his head. 

“No, it’s fine. You should know about my life if— if we’re going to keep living together.” He knew the moment he met you, the moment he agreed to let you live with all of them, that he would have to explain his past to you. Hell, your siblings might have already told you some of it — he could only hope you’d still want to be his friend after he was done. 

“”I.. I wasn’t the best person in the past. I was a horrible person actually, and I consider myself extremely lucky that I was given so many chances to change. I hurt people. Bullied people. Got into fights just because I could. I was just- horrible is the only way to describe it. But your siblings, Toph, Aang? They were all people that decided to give me one of those chances, and they’re a huge reason that I am who I am today.” Zuko spoke slowly, and you could tell that this was something he didn’t open up to many people about. You smiled softly at him and nodded, letting him know that he could go on. 

“I don’t know how much you know about my father, but he’s the CEO of our family company. He’s been this huge presence in the business world for as long as I can remember, and he’s responsible for all the wealth and fame that our family has today. And when I was younger, I idolized him. I thought he was the greatest man in the world, that he could do no wrong, and I just followed him blindly. He was the most important person in my life, but.. I was nothing to him.” 

“He didn’t care about his friends, or- or his family, he only cared about power. My mother left when I was young, we haven’t heard a word from her since, and- and I don’t even know if he cared. My father would do whatever it took to become as powerful as he could, and that meant—” Zuko’s voice was getting louder and he cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. There was a certain hollowness behind his eyes, and it tore you to pieces. “That meant hurting anyone that went against him. Including his children.”  

“I have a sister, Azula. She’s a prodigy in every sense of the word, and my father used it, used her. She was clearly his favorite, and it drove me insane. I mean, I did everything for his approval, but he only cared about Azula. We had a good relationship when we were younger, but my father molded her into the kind of person he wanted her to be, and— and I was jealous of her. He used that against us, purposefully staked the fire of our competition, one that I thought I could somehow win. But we had both already lost the second we started fighting against each other.” 

“It took me a long time to realize that.. that he was abusing us. I mean, he gave me this scar all because I spoke out of turn, and— and I still thought that I could earn his favor, that he deserved to earn my favor! He threw me out of the house when I was thirteen, and I went to live with my uncle. It took an even longer time, but with his help, and the support of your siblings and their friends, I was able to break the cycle. I was horrible to them at first, all of them, and I hated my father for what he did, but it was probably the thing that saved me.”  “And Azula.. leaving her will always be my biggest regret. My biggest mistake. I should’ve forced her to come with me when I was kicked out, I should’ve done something sooner, because maybe she wouldn’t have turned out the way she did.” He swallowed hard, his voice strained. “I came back for her once I was stable, and I helped her get out. I helped her get a therapist. It’s been a long process, but she’s getting better every day. But not a day goes by where I don’t think about what I could’ve done to help her more.”

You instinctively reached out for Zuko’s hand, and to your surprise, he took it without question. You gave his hand a small squeeze and led him over to a nearby bench — without realizing it, the two of you had entered a public park that was near the complex. When you sat down together, you moved so that one of your legs was crossed in front of you and the other was hanging down so you could face him. 

“Zuko.. I am so, so sorry. I don’t think any amount of apologies will be able to get how I feel across, but.. you didn’t deserve to go through that. No one deserves to go through that.” You took both of his hands, thankful for the warmth they provided. “Listen to me. Are you listening to me?” 

He gave a pained smile and nodded. “Yes, Y/N. I’m listening to you.” 

“You are not who you were in middle school. You are not who you were in high school. Okay? Your father is a horrible man, and you wouldn’t have done any of those things if it wasn’t for him. What you did when you were younger wasn’t okay, but the fact that you have so much remorse for it today proves that you’re a good person. Zuko, you are a good person, one of the best men that I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve only known you for a few months.” 

You were subconsciously rubbing calming circles into the back of his hands —  hands that were still holding yours — while you talked, but it was all Zuko could think about.  “I know you feel guilty about leaving your sister, but you did what you had to do to get out. You came back for her, and you’ve helped her get better. She’s grateful for it, Zuko, I know that much.” 

“Everyone else has forgiven you,” you murmured, staring deep into the fire he held in his eyes. “You deserve to forgive yourself.”

The silence that passed while you gazed into each other’s eyes felt like it lasted an eternity, when really it was only about a minute. Zuko was the first to break it, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at you as his words tumbled out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you at once.”

“It’s okay, Zuko, really. I understand; sometimes you just need to talk to somebody. You don’t know how much it means to me that you trusted me with all of that. And.. if we’re still baring our souls to each other, then I guess I have some things that you should know as well.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek; were you really about to tell Zuko about what happened? Most people knew that your mother was dead — killed in a drunk driving accident when you were ten — but you had never told anyone, not even your father or your siblings, about the full effect it had on you. But his eyes told you more than he ever could, and in that moment you knew it would be okay. You could trust him with something you had never trusted anyone else with.

“I’m sure you know that my mother died when I was young.” He nodded and you swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in your throat. “It was.. hard. Really hard, on all of us. It was just so unexpected that we didn’t know what to do. We didn’t really have any money to spare, so my dad had to keep working, and I had to take care of Sokka and Katara. I was only eleven, but I basically had to take over the ‘mom’ role. Our grandmother came down to take care of us so we wouldn’t just be a bunch of kids living on our own, but even with her and Katara’s help, it was still hard. Sokka and Katara had to grow up much faster than they should’ve, even though I tried to shield them as much as I could.” 

“It was.. a lot. I won’t lie to you, it was a lot. Maybe too much.” A mirthless laugh hung in the air and you had to blink back the tears threatening to spring. “My mother was.. amazing. She was the only one who truly got me, you know? She was just this— this beautiful spirit in the world, and she brought light wherever she went. And when she died, it left this.. huge, gaping hole in my heart, one that I’m still trying to fill. I- I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fill it. I thought as I got older it would be easier, but i-it’s not. The three of us joke around by calling Katara mom because of how she is, and they sometimes do it to me, and I know that’s all they are, jokes, but some part of it still hurts.” 

You were rambling now, spilling your soul to Zuko, going into the most mundane details that you had never told anyone. You had taken away the dam that had been holding back the waters of your emotions for so long, and now Zuko was going to drown in them. But you couldn’t stop.

“It’s the reason why I didn’t drive for so long. I didn’t want to, I was terrified of it because of what happened to my mother, but someone needed to be able to take Sokka and Katara around. And- and as I got older, and I started going to parties and people started drinking, I never did. I couldn’t, I was always the designated driver, because I couldn’t leave that in someone else’s hands. I had to be in control, because if I let someone go, then it was like I was killing my mother all over again, and it’s the reason why I always have to be the one driving—” 

You paused to take a deep breath, and as you looked down at your hands, you realized they were shaking. Not just your hands, but your entire body. What the hell were you doing? You let out a tearful laugh, covering your mouth with one hand and shaking your head. “God, I am so sorry, I— I don’t know what got into me.”

Zuko’s eyes never left yours, his own glassy, and he shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. Like you said, it helps to tell someone. A-and— I know how you feel, what it’s like feeling like you have to give up the world for your siblings. But you have to take care of yourself too. You’re not just what you can give to other people. You are your own person.”

He was thankful that you trusted him enough to tell you something like this about yourself, something that your own blood didn’t even know, but it also made him realize that you had always trusted him. 

Your point about driving. You liked to be in control so that if something did go wrong, there wouldn’t be any thoughts of what you could’ve done. If something happened, it was because of you and only you. And on your first day of classes, and many trips since, you had let him drive. It was something so small, so insignificant to anyone, but to you it was a sign of trust. 

You trusted him. 

“You’re shivering.” Your voice snapped Zuko back to reality and he shrugged, the smallest smile playing on his lips. 

“I wouldn’t be if someone had given me my jacket back,” he joked. You elbowed him in the chest and stood up, holding out your hand for him to take to help him up as well. Zuko took it and you ignored the butterflies that erupted, setting a steady pace as the two of you walked. 

“We should get back to the apartment. It’s late, and you need to sleep,” you chided. 

“You have bags the size of baseballs under your eyes. I think you need sleep just as much as I do.” 

“I’m special,” you shot back with a grin.

Yeah, you are, Zuko thought. 

The walk back to the apartment was shrouded in comfortable silence and intertwined hands, something that neither of you made any move to change.

~~~~~~~~

Soon enough you had gotten back to your rooms — such a small apartment meant that they were right next to each other — and as you turned on your heel to face him, a shy smile played on your lips. “Thank you. For, uh- coming after me. For listening to me.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. The two of you stood in silence for a while, and then Zuko reached out his hand. Your breath caught in your throat as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and the close proximity combined with the surprisingly intimate act caused your cheeks to heat up once more. It was like you were caught in a trance.

Your gaze flickered from his eyes to his lips for just a moment, and you could’ve sworn that he did the same. The air between the two of you was crackling with unseen electricity, and before you could question yourself you were leaning forward. 

You felt him lean in as well as your eyes fluttered shut, and his lips ghosted over yours. Your eyes snapped open and you stared at him, your lips slightly parted in disbelief — he just kissed you. Zuko just kissed you. It was like time had stopped — and then it all came crashing down. His lips came back to yours with an intense fervor, cupping your face in his hands to get as close to you as possible.

It was bliss in the purest sense. You reciprocated immediately, tangling a hand in his dark hair, letting out a soft gasp as your back hit the wall. Despite how many times you had imagined this moment, nothing could compare to the real thing. It was passionate but gentle all the same, and the warmth that spread through your whole body was familiar — it was Zuko. 

Your mind was a jumbled mess. It was split a million different ways; one part suddenly very worried about how your hair looked, one hoping that Sokka and Aang couldn’t hear you, another that didn’t care, but most of them were just screaming about how oh my god you were kissing Zuko.

You knew your whole face was flushed when you finally pulled away, and the warmth of his lips lingered as the two of you stared at each other, breathing slightly labored. You tentatively reached out your hand and softly, carefully traced your finger over a part of his scar. He flinched at the contact instinctively, but you felt him relax and even lean into your touch. It meant more than you could ever say, especially knowing what you knew now. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured, your touch impossibly soft against the cracked skin of his scar. “And you’re stronger than anyone knows. Than you know.” 

You kissed him again, shorter and sweeter than the first but just as tender, trying to memorize the feeling of his lips against yours as he returned it. You smiled at him and pushed your door open behind you, equal parts nervous and exhilarated about what just happened. “Goodnight, Zuko,” you whispered, shining eyes never leaving his until you closed the door.  

As soon as you were in your room you turned around and leaned against the door, smiling to yourself like an idiot. Your hand ghosted over your cheek, the spot where his hands had been, and you sighed dreamily. You had no idea how you were going to be able to finish studying. 

This was definitely more than a small crush. 

~~~~~~~~~~

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[jiaraforeverr]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Author's note: Hi everyone! This is my very first fanfic so I would love to hear your thoughts! @arcticaid requested this months ago, I'm so sorry it took so long! I started writing it in May, but honestly forgot about it until after I watched season 2.

You can also find it on Ao3 here!

Pairing: JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera

Kiara lay awake in the spare bed of the Chateau, the heavy and humid air sticking to her skin and making her whole-body flush with warmth. She could blame her inability to sleep tonight on the typical end of summer North Carolina heat, but there was something else on her mind keeping her up. With all the windows propped open as wide as they would go, she could hear the creaking of the old hammock rocking slowly back and forth, keeping her mind from thinking of anything other than the person she knew was also pretending to be sleeping right now.

A couple hours earlier, Pope had said his final goodbye before getting on the ferry to the mainland, where he would be traveling to UNC Charlotte for his first semester of college. He was finally doing what he was meant to, to pursue the future that his friends have protected and encouraged the last few years. But now he was gone, not coming back to the island for at least a couple months.

And that left Kiara and JJ.

It had been almost two years since the gold summer. Two years since they had last seen John B or Sarah. The loss of their best friend had taken a toll on all of them, but especially JJ. John B had been his brother, the first person he really was able to call family, the first person he felt safe with. Losing him had sent JJ down a dark path filled with alcohol and drugs much stronger than weed. It had taken Kiara and Pope about three months to get him back on track, and luckily that included getting him out of his dad’s house and into the Heyward’s care.

The three of them held onto the Chateau though. No one ever came asking about it, and they never brought it up. Currently, JJ was saving up to officially own it so they would no longer have the constant fear of having the last part of their best friend ripped away from them.

With Pope leaving for college, Kiara was left with the impossible task of deciding what she should be doing now. Much to her parent’s dismay, she had already that college wasn’t what she wanted- at least not right now. She can see herself going in the future, maybe getting a degree in marine biology and opening a conservation center of her own. But that was for later. Now, she knew there were still things she had to do.

Giving up the fight with herself to fall asleep, Kiara sits up in bed, sighing deeply as she presses her hands to her eyes. She could help but think about JJ. She was terrified of what leaving him alone would look like. She couldn’t risk losing another friend. A part of her knew that deep down, she just really didn’t want to leave his side at all.

Things with JJ had always been different than it had been with Pope or John B, but even more so after John B’s disappearance. They had a bond stronger than ever before, and Kiara was unsure how to deal with the feelings that had come along with it. She thinks that they’ve probably always been there in the back of her mind. Every flirty comment or wink JJ had given her growing up had always been accompanied by a small tug in her stomach that she now has a sneaking suspicion wasn’t due to annoyance.

Walking through the empty, quiet house, she took no precautions to avoid the loud floorboards like she normally would, and with an ache in her heart realized it was because no one else was here. As she got closer to the back door, quiet music filled the air, confirming that JJ was most definitely not asleep.

She silently made her way towards the hammock where JJ lay with both eyes closed, but he still opened one eye knowingly as she stopped next to him.

“Couldn’t sleep?” JJ murmurs softly.

“No, I just willingly woke up in the middle of the night for fun,” she responds sarcastically, but with no real bite to it.

“Hmm,” JJ closes his eyes again, “I can’t imagine hating myself that much. What a horrible life you lead.”

“What about you, what’s got you up?” Kiara ignores his quip at her, wanting to get to what was on his mind.

He didn’t respond right away, the silence sitting comfortably between them for a few moments. Kiara reaches down and brushes her fingers softly through his blonde hair, prompting him to finally respond.

“What do we do now Kie?” His whispers, just loud enough so she can hear him.

“What do you mean?” She murmurs back, as if she was afraid speaking too loudly would cause him to retreat back into his mind and close up on her.

“Like, we’re not kids anymore. Pope’s gone, you’ll be outta here traveling the world or whatever soon enough. I just feel like I’ve got nothin’ going for me when everyone else does.”

JJ’s admission makes her heart stop, and her breath catch in her throat. It had been a while since John B’s death, but that in no way meant they were over it. And now JJ was facing the very real possibility that he could be losing his remaining friends as well.

Wordlessly, Kiara reaches down again and gently tugs on JJ’s hand, indicating that she wanted him to get up. Predictably, he groaned in protest, but still slowly pulled himself up from the hammock. They both knew he would do anything she asked of him. Kiara leaned over and slightly turned up the volume of the speaker JJ had set up at the base of the tree. The sound of soft reggae music filled the air making her smile. She didn’t think before stepping closer to JJ so they were chest to chest with their noses just about touching. She wound both arms slowly around his neck securing him to her.

“What are you doing?” JJ asks her, a small smile creeping up on his face as his arms automatically wrap around her waist, closing the small gap between them.

“Dancing,” she responds, burying her nose in the crook of his neck, breathing in the scent of the ocean, smoke, and a hint of sweat. She sways their bodies side to side, and feels him drop his head into the top of hers.

“Why are we dancing?” He mumbles, moving his body with hers.

She ignores his question, and just lets the two of them get lost in the soft music and the feeling of being close to one another. A warm breeze rustles the trees above them causing JJ to grip his arms tighter around her. The fairy lights twinkle in the branches, and Kiara thinks to herself ‘how could it get better than this?’

“JJ,” she whispers into his neck, “how could you ever think that I would leave you?”

“Because this isn’t where you belong, Kie. You should be exploring the world, saving the turtles and probably every other animal along the way.”

“I belong where you are,” she says, her voice just loud enough so that he could hear her. “And if I’m leaving the Outer Banks, so are you.”

“There’s nothing out there for me. I’d be dragging you down.”

“You’ve never been out there, how would you know? You could teach surfing lessons and fix boats in a new country every month. We could ride bikes and never have to worry about a car again. Imagine, me and you hitting every country that has an ocean, surfing every wave we can find around the world. John B would be so proud of us.”

Her voice trails off at the mention of their dead best friend, worried she hit a nerve. But JJ just pulls his head away from hers just enough so that he could press his lips softly to her forehead.

“He really would, wouldn’t he?” JJ says with his mouth against her neck now.

“We’ll make it work, J. We always do. I don’t want to do things like travel the world if I’m not doing it with you by my side.”

“When do we leave, captain?” JJ asks jokingly, but in a way that makes her believe he is serious.

“Planning starts bright and early tomorrow, and I think we’d be much more productive if we got some sleep.”

He says nothing in response and the silence sits between them again as they continue to hold each other.

“Can we do this? In every country all over the world?” JJ asks quietly.

“Do what? Dance?”

“No. I- yes. But I mean more like, just like- be together? Like this?”

Kiara didn’t even try to fight the smile that spread across her face at his words. She pressed a kiss on his neck, right below his ear. She knew what their relationship was right now was complicated, but in that moment, nothing made more sense. She was his and he was hers. Simple as that.

“We’ll always be together. We can be like this for the rest of our lives. On our surf trip to every country around the world, and after it and before. I said I’d never leave you, and I meant it.”

[itsthestutterforme]

I Thought You Were Dead (Divergent)

Characters: OG! Character x reader, Four x reader

Summary: Four and Y/N see each other for the first time in two years after she supposedly died in his arms. Things instantly became complicated and Y/N fights to move on from the past. Four disagrees. //SMUT WARNING ⚠️ 18+ ONLY

--

Tris, Four and Caleb were running away from Eric and his small posse. They boarded a train that was headed towards the city. Little did they know who was on that train. It wasn't just the factionless onboard. It was someone Four never thought he would see again: his ex fiance. His dead ex fiance.

You died in his arm after taking a shot to your jugular vein. You shouldn't have survived, but your heart beat was so faint, it was almost undetectable. Dauntless gave your body to the factionless to bury and one of Evelyn's doctor was able to revive you. Since then, you became Evelyn's second hand.

You boarded this train to make sure things ran smoothly. This particular train had A grade weapons and ammo in it. "Well hello," Edgar taunts Four, Tris and Caleb. "You just destroyed some of our cargo," "We're sorry, we didn't mean to," "Wait, those are Abnegation bolts right?" Caleb continues his rambling until Tris shot him a look.

"You better listen to your sister, punk." Edgar states. Tris lunged towards Edgar but Four held her back. They held eye contact for a moment before they both started fighting with the Factionless. "Y/N, they're fighting!" A woman tells you. "Who's they?" "Edgar and some stowaways," "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

You stand from the floor and runs through the cars until you reached where to swarm of people were gathering. "Enough! What are you children!" You yell and the entire crowd goes silent.

You makes your way towards the front of the crowd and the closer you got, the more beat up faces you saw. "Damn. Now who was the cause of all this," You ask but no one answered.

"Don't answer all at once," "I did," Four says. When you turns around to face the voice, your heart sinks in your chest. "Tobias. Wait, you go by Four, sorry." "You.. you were dead. You died in my arms."

"If it makes you feel any better, I did die. My heart stopped for thirty seconds," You say with a soft chuckle to lessen the tension.

You were debating on going up to him or staying where you were. Four stares at you like you were a ghost. In his mind, you were. And now you are standing in front of him two years later, alive and breathing. "I kept seeing you around the Square, was that really you or just a figament of my imagination?"

"I-" "Y/N, we're close to drop off," Edgar says. "Alright, all of you make sure you get yourselves clean up before you put away the cargo," You announce. "Yes, Y/N." They all say. "We'll have to talk about this later, I'm sorry," You say before walking passed them and walking to the first car.

"Who is she?" Tris asks, but Four doesn't say anything. You look over your shoulder to see Four staring at you. You break eye contact and close the car door. A few moments later, the train came to a full stop and those who were injured went to the infirmary. The rest unloaded the cargo.

You jump out of the car into your boyfriend's arms. He spins me around and captures your lips in a hot kiss. You hum into the kiss and caress his cheekbone with your thumb. "I was worried about you," he says, his eyes slowly scanning your face. "I can take care of myself, Beck,"

The whole time you were having a conversation with Beck, Four couldn't keep his eyes off you. Tris obviously noticed and stormed off, Four and Caleb followed after her.

"I know, but when I saw Edgar's face, I--" "Edgar is a hot headed and deserved that punch," "Wait, so you punched him?" "No, I wish I did though," you say, making him chuckle. You bite your bottom lip until the skin turned white and you close your eyes for a moment.

"Uh oh, I know that face. What happened?" "Things have gotten a little complicated." "How complicated?" "Tobias is here with some others. He goes by Four now," You say softly, looking at Beck's face for a reaction. "Four? What, was one, two and three all taken?"

You slap the back of his neck and he smiles at you playfully. "Play nice," you scold. "Oh but you love it when I'm mean," he says before kissing me again. "But truthfully, is there anything that I should be worried about?"

"Of course not, what happened between us is in the past." You explain. "But what happened between you was more than just romance. He was the love of your life, Y/N. You were going to marry him. Compared to him, I'm just a booty call." "Hey," You warn.

You jump out of his arms and hold his face in your hands. "Listen to me, you are much more than a booty call. Don't you ever forget that. Not after everything we've been through," You explain. "Y/N," Evelyn calls. "We need you in here," she adds. You press one kiss to his lips and another to his forehead.

"We'll talk about this later," You say before advancing towards the Evelyn's office. You've been saying that a lot lately and it didn't leave a good taste in your mouth. You hated drama and you especially hated when you were involuntarily placed in it.

When you entered Evelyn's office to see Four, Caleb and Tris sitting across from Evelyn. Oh hell. "You called for me?" "I figured that you would be best to explain to Tobias-" "His name is Four," You and Tris say in unison. "Right, sorry," Evelyn says.

"I don't know if I'm the right person for this. I've already caused enough mayhem as it is." "Then set it right. You are the queen of that and many things." Evelyn stands and leaves the room, leave everyone staring at me. "Alright, let's talk," you say with a huff.

"Answer the question, were you actually there at the Square or was that a figment of my imagination?" "I was there-" "Why?" "I had to see you but I was too scared to physically be there," "Why?" "Why wouldn't I?" "So the woman that left me with my abusive father could confront me but you couldn't," he snaps.

"I was going to, until I saw that you were happy with her," You say, referencing to Tris. "You deserved to be happy, so i--" "So you abandoned me? Seems like you took a page out of my mother's handbook," "That is not fair, and we both know what would have happened if I came back!" You state.

"What would have happened?" Tris speaks up softly. You look to her and your heart broke for her. You felt like you just tore her whole world apart. "It doesn't matter because I'm done dwelling on the past. Right now I'm focused on the future and taking down Jeanne." "That's all I am? The past?"

"I knew you when you were Tobias. And you knew me as Y/N/N. We both aren't those people anymore." "Listen to me," Four reaches out and holds my hands and Tris starts to cry. "I was able to move on because I thought you were dead. But I still have nightmares about you, about you dying over and over again."

"I'll always love you, Toby. But things are different now." You pull away from his hands and add, "Your mom and I are willing to go to war to get rid of the factions and to go against Jeanne. With you guys on our side, the chances of winning are that much greater. I'll give you guys some time to think things through and I'll make sure Evelyn doesn't intrude."

You give Four a once over before standing up to leave. "Y/N," "Stop, it's over," You say to him before rushing towards the door. As soon as you leave the room, you release a loud huff. "That bad huh?" Beck asks. You look over your shoulder and smile lightly. He closes the gap between you and places his hands on your hips.

You wrap your arms under his arms and say, "Yes, it was that bad. I think I just ruined their relationship." "What? Why?" he asks. "He just admitted that he still have feelings for me." You explain. He pulls away from you and asks, "Do you still have feelings for him?" "You said it yourself, I was going to marry the guy. Those feelings don't just go away."

"Then why don't you go be with him then?" Beck says before storming off in the opposite direction. "Wait, Beck, please let just talk about this." "There's nothing to talk about."

**

Later that night, you decided to go for a walk to clear your head and to have a good cry. You were on your way back when you heard a twig breaking. You decided to walk slower so the attacker thought they had the advantage. You went into a tunnel and waited on top for the attacker.

When they came out of the tunnel, you jumped onto their shoulders and tackled them to the ground. It wasn't until they turned around that you realized it was Four. "Four what the hell?" You scold. Your body perfectly draped over his. "I'm sorry," he says. "For what?" "For ruining everything,"

"There's no one to blame here, but that doesn't make us feel better about any of it, does it?" "No, it doesn't." "We should get back before Evelyn starts to worry." You say, trying to stand up from him.

He pulls you back down and pushes your hair back. "Four, not here." You warn and his eyes drift from your eyes to your lips. "Then where?" You two stumble into an empty loft from on the higher levels of the compound. You closed the door, and turned around to face Four.

He slowly approached you. He takes your hand into his and caressed the back of it with his thumb. You softly sigh at his touch and you watch as he brings your palm up to his lips for a kiss.

He holds the side of your face and you lean into his hand. You find yourself pressing your lips to his and time slowed down to a crawl. His hands fell to the back of your thighs and you completely let yourself go. He wraps your legs around his waist and your hands fell to the back of his neck. Our lips moved in perfect sync and your eyes fluttered closed.

He walks you to the bed and sat down with you in your lap. His hands ghost of over your ass before turning you around so your back was against the bed. You pull off your shirt and work on taking off your pants. He takes off his shirt and in a second, his body was draping over yours. You happily let his lips devour your neck as pulls off your tights.

He pinches your clit through your underwear and your body jolts forwards. "Four, we can't- I--" He silences you with kiss. "I remember how loud you can get," he says with a smile. He kisses down your stomach and massages your breasts through your bra. A breath hitches in your throat when he kisses your clothed bundle of nerves.

"Just relax, baby," he says, pulling my underwear off and tossing then to the side. He takes you into his mouth and your back arches off the bed. He drags his tongue along the top wall and dips it under the hood of your clit while he circles it with his thumb.

A knot was already starting build in your stomach.You always hated how quickly he could make you cum. He notices your leg starting to close so he presses them down with his elbows. You was helpless under him.

He started to speed up his actions and a loud moan leaves your lips. He pulls away a little to nip at the skin next to my bundle of nerves.

You look down at him and watch as he sends you a loving gaze. You held eye contact with him as he continues to lick and suck at your pussy. He curled his tongue at just the right spot to make you fall apart. Your body went rigid and you breath heavily as you ride out your high.

"You're so beautiful," he says after he sucks your juices from his fingers. He straddles my waist and cups my cheeks as he kisses you. The breath leaves your lungs the more rough his kisses get. You dig your nails into his back and he moans in your mouth. His airy moans makes my folds grow slick and he cups my pussy.

You jolt your hips in attempt to gain friction and he smiles. "Look at how eager you are," "Please, Four, just fuck me already." He attacks your neck with hickeys and you moan softly into his ear. You push him on his back and pull back his boxers. You bite your lip when you see his dick spring free from them.

He grabs you and scoots closer towards the headboard. You stand on your feet and slowly sink on top him. Your head falls back as your expand around him. Once you adjust to him, you rock your hips back and forth. He digs his finger nails into your hips which make you speed up your thrusts.

"Fuck, Y/N, just like that," he moans. You spell out the letter W over and over again until you feel his dick twitch inside of you. You stimulate yourself by rubbing your clit and your second orgasm came crashing over like a wave. His body freezes in its place as his cum fills me up.

You roll off of him and brush your hair from your face. He pulls you into his chest and pressed a lingering kiss on your forehead. As you lay on his chest, you think of how heartbroken Beck is. You told him there was nothing to worry about and later that night, you're sleeping with your ex-fiance.

Tears of guilt prick your eyes and you try to hide it but an unexpected sniffle left my lips "Hey, what's wrong? Did you not want to-" "No, it wasn't about that," You pull away from him and rest you back against the headboard. You pull your knees towards your chest and lean your chin on your knee caps.

"Talk to me," he says as he positioned himself so he is sitting right in front of you. "I feel like a liar," You say, wiping away some of your tears. "Why?" "I told Beck that you weren't a problem and now look at us." You burst into tears and sobs into your knees.

"This isnt your fault," "I ruined something really good, Toby. I mean Four- I'm so- I should just leave," You try to leave the bed but he pulls you back onto the bed. "You can call me Toby, Y/N. You have the right to call me that. You were the only good part of my child hood." He holds the side of your face and you turn away from him.

"All I ever do is hurt people. No matter how hard I try, I'll always hurt people. I can't talk you about Beck and I can't talk t-" "Why can't you talk to me about Beck?" "You're asking me what's wrong with gellinby my ex fiance about my ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I see where the problem is," he says with a chuckle. You don't laugh, you can't. You hold your face in your hands. "I'm here you as anything you want me to be. We don't have to have sex to tell each other that we care for each other." You look up from your hands and at him. "I'm serious," he adds.

"Thank you," you whimper. He presses another kiss to your forehead before pulling you closer to him and draping an arm over your torso as you two spooned. And for the first time in a long time, you felt okay.

[plaidbooks]

Cabin Life - Whittling Roses

A/N: Hello, I have lost complete control of myself and just keep writing this AU. I blame @berniesilvas, but I also love her and this AU so much. For now, this was all the concrete ideas I had--everything else is vague ideas that I don’t have a fic plotted for yet. I hope you all enjoy!

Tags: just fluff, the briefest mention of smut (only one line), and a little bit of a make-out session

Words: 1857

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart  @beccabarba  @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @permanentlydizzy @ben-c-group-therapy  @infiniteoddball @glowingmess @whimsicallymad @lv7867 @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @alwaysachorusgirl  @glimmerglittergirl  @reading--mermaid  @averyhotchner  @mrsrafaelbarba @detective-giggles @crowleysqueenofhell @dreamlover31

As predicted, the snowstorm blocked off contact between you and Sonny for most of the winter months. As soon as the snow started to melt, it would snow again, causing a bigger buildup. He texted you when he could—when the cells had connection—but otherwise, he was confined to his cabin, as you were to yours.

He never once stopped thinking about you, especially when he was huddled in a pile of your blankets, the fireplace happily crackling in front of him. He remembered the night he made love to you right there on the floor, and he wished he could do it again, in his bed this time. Even the thought of your body in his embrace, your warmth and scent surrounding him, was enough to make his body flush with desire.

To help take his mind off you…well, to help control his thoughts—there was no “not thinking” about you—he took a block of wood inside, his whittling blade in hand. When he looked at that block of unimpressive, plain wood, he could clearly see what he wanted to make. But even with his skill, it was a complicated task. At least he had months to work on it.

He spent most of his time whittling. He only took a break to cook, eat, maybe watch tv if he could get a signal in the blizzard. He also brought in a separate piece of wood, to practice different techniques on; he wanted his gift to you to be perfect, to show his love for you.

Sonny let his mind wander as he whittled—as long as he paid attention to the details. His mind irrevocably went back to you every time. He wanted to ask how you felt about kids; though you had mentioned wanting them before, he wanted to see if that was still true.

Eventually, his mind wandered to him marrying you. He wanted to propose, with rings and everything, have both your families there. Maybe he could build an archway to go in that meadow or something, cover it with flowers. He was already building a bridge to go across that creek by his place. An archway shouldn’t be too hard.

Then he smiled as a thought struck him; what if he whittled the wedding rings? He’d have to get better, perfect his craft before he even attempted at something so important. He’d have to talk to you about that, too, make sure you were okay with it. He had enough money to buy a traditional ring, if that’s what you wanted.

 ***********************

About a month into his project, he finished the first of what he hoped would be a dozen roses. He gazed intently at the bud, the petals. Then, his eyes travelled down the stem to the leaf, the veins carved into it. Was it the best rose ever made? Absolutely not. But it was a rose, and it would be perfect for you.

It had taken him much longer than he had anticipated to make one rose. He had stopped frequently to practice petals and veins, though, which had taken up time. Still, he was afraid he wouldn’t finish them quick enough; he had never spent a winter in the cabin, and he didn’t know how long the storms lasted (he had to make a call to the Willis’s for how to cover his gardens). So, while he felt jubilation at finishing one rose, he didn’t celebrate, instead getting right back to it.

The second rose only took him two weeks, and the third, a week. Now that the stems were done, he was getting faster at doing the petals and leaves. He still took his time, made sure he didn’t mess them up, but he was improving. Some of them, he left as bulbs, the petals just opening, while others were in full bloom. He debated painting them, but he wanted to make his own dyes, and he had no idea how to do that. Plus, he kind of liked the light, wooden color.

Once he finished, he fought the urge to continue working on them. He did go back and fix up some details in the first flower that he learned to deal with by the tenth. Now came the question of what to put them in. Does he get a fancy ribbon and tie the stems together for a bouquet? Or should he whittle a vase for them? It’s not like they needed water.

Outside, the blizzard raged on. So, Sonny figured he could make a vase, and if he didn’t like it, he could toss it in the fireplace. Taking yet another block of wood, he got to work. This project, he had a little less of a vision than before. He thought about it as he pulled the roses together, measuring how big of an opening he needed on top.

Slowly, a shape began to form in his mind’s eye, and he started cutting. He wanted a long, skinny neck on top, and a wider base. He wouldn’t have to hollow the inside, only the top part enough to hold the roses. Still, he was doing it by hand, and it took him another month to have just the basic shape done. But he wanted to add details.

Taking his smallest whittling tool, he went to work on the design. Maybe it was corny, but Sonny was a corny guy. He carved apples and his best attempt at lavender flowers, the two things that drew you both together. And in the middle, he carved out a heart, both of your initials inside. He smiled when he was done, knowing that you’d love it regardless; it came from him.

He collected all the wooden roses and rearranged them in the vase until they were how he wanted them. He smiled proudly at the sight, and he wished the snow would stop so he could give them to you now.

 **********************

He only had to wait another two weeks before the snow finally let up enough for him to visit you. The sky was a bright blue, the sun making the fallen snow blinding. Sonny texted you that he was coming over, asking if you wanted to go with him to the local shops to restock on some food. You agreed, and he was instantly on his ATV, the roses zipped up protectively in his jacket.

Sonny parked, then came up to your front door, vase in hand. He knocked and then was suddenly worried that you’d hate the roses, that you’d think him childish. You had given him blankets, something useful, while all he made was wooden flowers—

You opened the door, smiling brightly when you saw Sonny standing there. You had missed him deeply, and you were happy to see his hair and beard longer. Then your eyes flicked down to the wooden vase clutched in his hand.

“What’s this?” you asked, voice hushed in awe at the bouquet.

He swallowed hard. “I, uh, I made ya these fer ya…. I thought, ya know, that I should get ya flowers. But they always wilt and die, so I thought if I made them outta wood, then….”

“You—you made these?” Your eyes tore from the roses to lock to his blues.

He slowly extended his arm, holding the vase out to you, and you took it, marveling at the details in the leaves and petals, then the vase itself. You chuckled as you recognized the apples and lavender, and you had to blink away tears when you saw the heart.

“Sonny, I love them. Thank you so much,” you breathed, smiling up at him.

He grinned nervously, shifting from foot to foot. “Ya do? I was afraid that they weren’t useful—”

“Of course, they’re useful,” you replied, and he tilted his head, brow furrowed. “They show me how much you love me, even when you’re not here to tell me yourself.”

The brightness of his smile could match that of the sun. “Plus, they’ll never die, like my love for you.”

“You sap,” you said, giggling. With your free hand, you grabbed his jacket and pulled him to you for a sweet kiss. His nose and lips were chilled from the wind outside, but you didn’t care. Besides, his lips warmed quickly enough against yours.

“Come on; let’s head to the market so I can get ya home ‘fore the snow starts back up,” Sonny muttered against your lips.

You snuck another kiss. “Why bring me home? Why not just take me to your place? I know we could keep each other warm”

He let out a low growl, kissing you deeper, his tongue in your mouth. Your bodies were magnetic, drawing each other closer. It was a struggle to pull away long enough to place the roses on a table before you were back, body melding to his, hand going to his hair. He pushed you against the doorjamb, hands exploring under the hem of your jacket.

Your father cleared his throat from inside the house, and Sonny sprung off you as if you had shocked him. “S—sorry, sir—” he stammered, face turning a bright red.

Your father crossed his arms, giving him a hard look. “Just close the door; you’re letting the heat out.”

You gave Sonny a sheepish grin as he came inside, closing the door behind him. You told him you needed to pack some things, and you took the vase, heading for your room, leaving Sonny and your father alone.

The latter studied Sonny intently, gazing at him from over his spectacles, and Sonny tried not to fidget under his scrutiny.

“I intend to marry your daughter,” he blurted out. He winced internally; why the fuck did he say that?! But now that it was out there, he was prepared to defend it to the death. He kept his face a mask of stone, not letting your father see his fear.

He continued staring at Sonny, weighing his words. “Does she know that?”

“She does; I told her last time she was over. From the moment I saw her, I knew that I wanted nothin’ more than to marry her.”

He nodded lightly; just a jut of his chin. “Have you proposed? Do you have a ring?”

“It’s only been a few months; I wanted to wait a lil, make sure it’s what she wants, too,” Sonny explained.

“Just don’t wait too long; I don’t want you leading her on or hurting her.”

Sonny’s eyes widened in offense. “I would never—”

You came back right then, a duffle bag in your hand, and glancing nervously between the two men. “Whatcha talkin’ about?” you asked uncertainly.

“Nothing dear. Have fun and stay safe,” your father said, and he came over, kissing your cheek, then headed to a different room.

You cocked an eyebrow at Sonny, but he just shook his head, moving to hold the door open for you. Confused at the tension, you went out into the crisp, winter air, taking a deep breath. You were sure Sonny would tell you the whole story later.

[holidaywishes]

all it takes is one time

part ten: all it takes is one time

  Summary: five years have passed and Brendan has kept his promise to “not give up on you.”

  Warning: fluff, angst, time jump

  Author’s Note: So, what I got from the poll was that everyone pretty much wants a happy ending. Which I think is great! Because of that, I’ve chosen to do a bit of a time jump so that the happy ever after seems natural. I love that people have enjoyed this series; I love writing for Gally and his smiley little face -- I mean look at him in that GIF -- so I’m always happy when people enjoy how I write him or what I write for him. This got a bit more angsty than I thought it would which is why it's a bit of a longer chapter (I wanted it to get fluffy eventually so I just kept writing until it did!) but I hope you continue to enjoy these last two chapters and thanks for reading! Stay Golden, loves! <3

Fun Fact: Grammarly calls my writing in this "confident" and "formal" so... I apologize for that. Typically, I try not to write super formally so I don't know what happened here.

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Brendan’s P.O.V

  You couldn’t count how many times you’d proposed to (Y/N) over the last five years but you knew that you were gonna keep doing it until she said yes because you wanted her. You’d always wanted her.

  “Wanna marry me?” you asked as the two of you laid in bed, groggy from just waking up

  “Sure” she groaned, making you pop your head up in surprise

  “Wait, really?” you asked

  “Someday” she smirked, tucking herself into you to cuddle a little longer

  “You’re gonna kill me” you chuckled

  “No!” she scoffed

  “Yes!” you replied, wrapping your arms tightly around her body and kissing her neck playfully

  “STOP!” she squeaked, finally pushing you away so she could get out of bed, “I love you and I would love to stay here, in bed, with you but your parents are expecting us in like an hour”

  “We have tons of time!”

  “You might but I don’t...” she laughed and you jumped out of bed, meeting her across the room

  “What are you talking about? It’s not like you have to do anything. We’re just going for lunch,” you smiled, kissing her temple as she looked in the mirror, “they love you. What’s going on?”

  “I don’t think your mom has ever really... liked me for you”

  “What? Of course she has”

  “I’ve spent close to 10 years trying to get her to see that I’m good enough for you, especially after the break up...”

  “(Y/N), you have nothing to worry about,” you assured her, turning her around, “she knows that you love me and that’s all she needs” she smiled at you, kissing you quickly before walking away

  “If you say so”

  “I do say so,” you smirked, “trust me.” When you pulled up to your parents house, you noticed (Y/N) sigh heavily and you reached out to grab her hand, “if you need me, I’m right here”

  “Okay” she smiled

  “But you won’t need me” you teased

  “Bren…” she scoffed before you threw open your door and ran up the stairs to greet your family inside.

  “(Y/N),” your mom said as your girlfriend walked through the door slowly, placing her hands on (Y/N)’s arms before embracing her in light hug. “It’s so good to see you”

  “You too” (Y/N) said, looking over your moms shoulder to you as you smiled and mouthed ‘I told you’

  “Let’s sit down and have some lunch okay?” your mom said as she pulled away from (Y/N), who nodded in return

  “See?” you smiled, kissing her forehead and wrapping your arm around her waist while you walked to the back patio, “nothing to worry about.”

xx

  Della had liked you when you first met. She thought you were sweet and that you were good for Brendan but when she found out you cheated, her opinion of you changed, as you thought it might, but Brendan seemed completely oblivious to all of it. He still believed that she loved you because you loved him; because he loved you.

  “See?” he said as he directed you to the patio outside with his family, after his mother had given you a, rather passive, hug when you first arrived. “Nothing to worry about!” you wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that he was blind to the inner workings of female interactions, but this was his mom and you weren’t there to cause drama.

  “So, (Y/N),” Della started from across the table, “what have you been up to these last five years? We still don’t get to spend too much time with Brendan except during the summer and he’s mostly stayed in Montreal with you so we haven’t got to see either of you…” you smiled to yourself, looking down at your lap as you tried to evade her tone

  “I’ve been working,” you said, looking at Brendan beside you before smiling at him, “keeping myself busy when Brendan’s at practice or at games, ma—”

  “Do you go to the games still?” Nolan asked

  “I mean, he’s gotta have at least one fan there for him” Erin laughed

  “I try,” you admitted, a blush creeping across your cheeks as you prepared to say the next words; fearing what they all might think of you. “But sometimes our schedules don’t match up and I have to watch from home…”

  “But you still make sure you always watch the game?” Della asked and you could feel the heat from her glare reach you for across the table

  “Most of the time,” you said slowly before Brendan reached out his hand to grab yours, “but there have been a few times when I’ve had to get the score from someone else because I didn’t have a second to even look at the game…”

  “Well that makes sense,” Ian added before Della could argue your answer, “stuff like that is going to happen. You can’t stop working to watch the games or else you’d get fired” you laughed, nodding in response

  “I mean,” Breanne added, “unless you quit your job”

  “Yeah,” Della said, almost giddy at the thought, “have you thought about quitting your job? I’m sure Brendan could keep you both comfortable”

  “Mom...” Brendan finally said, shaking his head at her while you took a sip of the water in front of you

  “I was joking, Mom...” Breanne said, presumably seeing your discomfort

  “But it’s a serious question, something to consider,” Della added, semi-defensively, “I don’t think that’s something to get so up in arms about”

  “Why don’t we just enjoy the weather, okay?” Ian said, diffusing the situation the best he could while Brendan followed Della inside

  “I’m sorry, Ian,” you sighed as the two of you walked toward the grass, “I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable”

  “It’s okay” he smiled

  “I know she doesn’t trust me much anymore” you added, dropping your head as kicked your foot in the grass

  “She just loves Brendan,” he answered, “he’s the first-born, you know? It’s a special bond between them”

  “I know,” you said before the two of you stood in silence, watching Breanne, Erin and Nolan played some game you’d never really seen before; laughing at each other when one seemed to do something wrong.

  “It’s not that she doesn’t trust you,” Ian said, after a while of not speaking, forcing you to look at him suddenly, “it’s just that she watched Brendan mope around for months after the two of you broke up and then when you got into your accident, she listened to him talk about how the two of you were getting back together but to her…”

  “She didn’t believe it” you sighed, your eyes still trained on the ground as you interrupted him

  “It felt like he was putting all his faith into something that was gonna break his heart again” he continued, making you look up at him and your eyes grew wide at the thought

  “I never wanted to break his heart,” you admitted, “it’s complicated I guess but I love him. Breaking up with him felt terrible but being together, then, didn’t feel right either and I felt like I was holding him back. I let him go so he could find what he really wanted”

  “But what he really wanted was you,” Ian argued, “it was always you. He told us that all the time, you were always on his mind and in his heart”

  “I know,” you smiled thoughtfully, “he’s always felt like the one to me, too, I guess I just needed him to know that I didn’t want him to feel trapped… I don’t know how to explain it really”

  “I get it,” Ian smirked, “but do me a favour, don’t try explaining it to my wife. Because she absolutely will not understand any of it”

  “You have my word.”

xx

Brendan’s P.O.V

  “I just don’t see why she doesn’t even want to try to change her work schedule…” your mom argued as the two of you washed the dishes

  “Mom…” you whined

  “I’m serious, Brendan,” she exclaimed, “she misses your games because of work, she doesn’t make time for the two of you to see us..”

  “That’s not on her,” you interjected, “we live in Montreal, which means we can’t just pop out here to say hi”

  “But you could call” she challenged

  “Yes, you’re right,” you scoffed, “but that’s on me. Not (Y/N), so don’t turn it into her problem”

  “She doesn’t want this relationship to progress any further than what it always was…” she frowned and you shook your head

  “She does” you confessed

  “It doesn’t seem like it”

  “Because she wants to have a job? Because she doesn’t always stop everything to watch a game?” you asked

  “Because she doesn’t try. Not the way you do”

  “Mom,” you rubbed your temples, “she does try. There’s more to it than what you can see. You know, she was reluctant to come here today because she thinks that you don’t think she’s good enough for me and I had to keep telling her that wasn’t true. But it is true, isn’t it? She was right and you’ve never liked her…” you questioned, drying your hands

  “That’s not true!” your mom yelled, stopping you from leaving, “I loved her for you, I thought you two were perfect for each other and she fit so well with us but she proved time and again that she just didn’t care. She cheated, she didn’t communicate with you, she ended things because of some vague excuse that you two weren’t good together anymore and then she used you to make her better after her car accident”

  “She didn’t use me. She needed help so I offered my help,” you corrected, “because I love her and no matter what happened between us, I wasn’t going to let her be in pain" she seemed to drop the conversation after that but not without a heavy sigh before walking into the backyard to join everyone

  "Hey," you whispered to (Y/N) as you draped your arm across her shoulders, "how're you doing?"

  "I'm okay," she replied quietly, "how are you?"

  "I'm good" you smiled, hoping she wouldn't see how the conversation with your mom annoyed you

  "I didn't mean to start anything," she said with a sigh, wrapping her arms around your waist and you looked down at her as she looked up at you, "drama or whatever. I didn't mean to make things awkward..."

  "You didn't" you smiled, kissing her forehead

  "It feels like things are tense" she admitted and you shrugged, looking out at your family but still feeling (Y/N) looking up at you

  "Wanna marry me and get outta here?" you joked, hearing her scoff in return

  "No," she said, hugging you tighter, "but maybe."

xx

  It had been two weeks since you and Brendan were at his parent's place for a BBQ, two weeks since you could feel Della's hesitation of you being with her son and two weeks since Brendan last asked you to marry him. The proposals were becoming less frequent now and your mind was running wild with reasons why that might be but you hoped that he was waiting for the perfect moment. And that that perfect moment came when you were absolutely ready to say yes.

  “He used to propose every day,” you told your best friend, Rebecca, has the two of you sat on her balcony, “and now, nothing. Not a single mention of marriage”

  “If he asked you today, would you say yes?” she asked candidly

  “I don’t know” you replied

  “Maybe he knows that, finally, and he just wants to wait long enough,” she said, “you said he proposed at the barbecue and you said no, right?”

  “I mean, I guess…” you scoffed

  “So…” she smirked, “he probably feels that you’re not ready yet and he’s just tired of small proposals”

  “Small proposals?” you furrowed your brow

  “Yeah,” she said before taking a sip of her drink, “he probably wants to do something big but he wants to know you’re ready to say yes…”

  “And how would he know when I’m ready?” you chuckled

  “I have no idea,” she laughed, “maybe he’s got a checklist”

  “Oh my god, if he has a checklist,” you laughed, throwing your head back, “I swear to god, I would die”

  “You know how he is though,” she said after the two of you stopped laughing, “his first proposal was in a public place”

  “Yeah but that was so much pressure and we fought about it afterwards”

  “Yeah because you weren’t ready to say yes,” she said, “you needed to air out the reasons why...”

  “Do you think he’ll listen to them?” you questioned, raising your eyebrow at her

  “Why wouldn’t he?” she asked

  “After what happened with his mom, I think he’s starting to revert back to the idea that I should just be the ‘holly housewife’ type” you admitted

  “I don’t think that’s true”

  “I hope not...” you sighed, finishing up your water and heading inside. After realizing that you had been there for almost three hours, you decided it was probably time for you to go home, surprised to see Brendan sitting at the table when you walked into the apartment. “Bren...?” you asked hesitantly

  “Hey,” he said plainly and you couldn’t think of anything to say, he seemed very focused and you weren’t sure why. It made you nervous, “so, I... don’t know where to start...”

  “What’s wrong?” you finally asked, setting down your bag and pulling out a chair to sit beside him

  “I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me,” he admitted and you shook your head in confusion, “or that if we get married, you’ll lose yourself”

  “I--”

  “I don’t want my mom to feel like you’re not good for me for whatever reason,” he admitted, stopping you from interrupting him, still not looking at you. Oh god, you thought to yourself, he’s gonna break up with me, “and I don’t want you to be mad at my mom because you resent her for whatever reason”

  “Bren--” you started but he stopped you, his eyes finally looking into yours

  “I love you,” he confessed, “and I realize now, though I should’ve realized before, that you don’t want some grand gesture of a proposal. Maybe because you don’t like all the attention or maybe because it feels like too much pressure. Whatever it is, it’s not what you want. I should’ve known that. I should’ve paid attention to that” you took a breath as you listened to his words, not really knowing where this was going. “But here’s the thing,” he said, holding your hands in his while his eyes danced between yours, “I told you I wasn’t giving up. And all it takes is once. One time. One proposal for you to say yes to and then, what do ya know? we’re engaged. So, I won’t give up because I love you and if you keep saying no, eventually I’ll take the hint, but I’m gonna ask you right now. Right here. Like this. Because I love you and I want to marry you, Do you want to marry me?”

  “Yes,” you whispered without thinking about it; everything he said just took away any fears that you had and you couldn’t think of your life without him. “Yes,” you repeated, feeling a tear fall down your cheek before giggling happily, “yes, I will marry you”

  “Wait really?” he said, the shock in his face making you laugh

  “Yes, baby” you said softly, placing your hand on his cheek

  “Like really really?”

  “Really really” you smiled before leaning in and pressing a kiss to your lips, feeling a tear graze your cheek as it feel down his

  “God, I love you,” he scoffed when he pulled away as if he was catching your breath, “but I am exhausted”

  “I know, I’m sorry” you laughed

  “You’re serious right?” he asked again and you smiled brightly, squeezing his hands tightly

  “YES! Brendan, baby, I’m serious”

  “I just needed to check” he smirked

  “I love you,” you cooed, “and I can’t imagine marrying anyone else, being with anybody else”

  “Fucking finally” he sighed and you laughed

  “I won’t sacrifice myself for your job though” you insisted

  “I wouldn’t dream of it” he smirked, capturing you in a kiss before picking you up and taking you to the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him and throwing you on the bed. 

[xsarcasticwriterx]

I hate you

Summary: In a world where your enemies name appears on one wrist and your soulmates appears on the other but what happens when it's the same name on both

Pairing: loki x reader

Warnings: fluff but some major angst at end, swearing,

Notes: Finally not bucky pfft anyways i got this idea from a post I saw on instagram hope ya like it :) oh and this takes place during ragnarok and infinity war also yes i know the lines aren't the exact same but i tried to keep it similar.

You hated loki no hate wasn't strong enough you despised the god. With his tricks and mischief. with his knifes and need to simply be an absolute dickbag. all of this is what made the position you were put in even more confusing and messy.

You stared down at your wrist looking at the names well name. singular. The names were supposed to be one of your enemy and one of your soulmate which of course frustrated people to the end of which name suppose to take what role. Yours might seem simpler but it made it more complicated.

there was one name. loki. It sat on both your wrist being there since the day you were born. at first it confused you and your parents why the name was the same. Then the confusion grew when a few days later a prince was born named loki odinson. 

So your enemy was loki but was also your soulmate. The more you were around loki the more you understood the enemy part of it. He'd pull mean pranks and constantly pester you. you assumed the names on his wrist were in the same case as yours making his constant bother make sense.

Of course now wasn't the time to rehash all of that. you currently were going through something that felt similar to an acid trip. They spoke something of the grandmaster and how this planet was created or whatever. you simply felt sick and like someone stuck your brain in a blender. 

you open your eyes not even realizing you had closed them at some point. looking around you are sat next to thor and in front of you is a strange man with eyeliner who looks like a dude going through a midlife crisis. 

behind you are rainbow guards. confused you turn to lowkey who looks just as confused as you. “well aren't these two just marvelous. he and a she right?” he ask looking up at a girl. she nods “yes he and she” she smiles at you two. “see this is why your amazing. what do i always say when she shows up it starts with b” he says looking to another girl. “trash” she says glaring at the other girl. “wha- no were you just looking to call her trash that doesn't even start with b” he said confused and shaken. “booze hag”

you cant help but snicker at this. “I- what no i'm sorry i always say your the best god. she brought me my champion y'know” he says with a smile. “so you say every time shes here.”  she replied jealousy thick. “how much for them” grandmaster ask. this shakes you up and throws even thor off guard. “hi yes excuse me were not for y'know sale”  you say like its an outlandish thing. “10,000″ the girl says. “I am not for sale” thor says ripping his arms out of the chair. “ooo a fighter I like it” he says then the girl presses a button and thor is shaking like he was tased. 

“Y'know actually i think i'm ok being sold off can I just nooot have that happen to me?” you ask with a wide grin. “I like her shes funny” get her out of the chair” the grandmaster says. “give her the credits hurry” with a grumble the girl gets paid. “you will pay for this.” thor says to the scavenger. “no I got paid for this.” she says smugly walking off. your chains are released and you stand up rubbing your wrist. “do you got any lotion or anything cause that shit made my wrist all dry” you say nodding towards the chair. 

“Get the girl some lotion go go” he says to the other. “come follow me” he says after you get handed some lotion. you walk into a room full of people thor following behind on his chair. The room seems like a party people are chatting music is blasting. “I am the god of thunder!” thor says. tiny thunder comes out his fingers making you chuckle. His hammer being broken but be affecting him more than expected. “well there's no thunder but you did create little sparkles there.” he says walking to a dj panel.

“hey y/n get me out of here” thor whispers to you. “Man i don't even know how i got out ok guess you gotta just be awesome like me” you look around and spot someone who for once actually made you smile “or like loki apparently.” you point out to thor. “loki!” he yells. you hit thor's arm “shut up” you say. loki looks at you two confused.

“loki!!” thor says happily. you simply facepalm you didn't want to talk to loki nor did you want grandmaster from finding out you know him especially if he's caused as much chaos here as he has on asgard. loki looks concerned and does a fake smile and goodbye before walking towards yall “shhh sh” he says. “what are you doing here” he ask “Me and y/n were put in a chair she was released wheres your chair?” thor ask. “i didn't get a chair” loki whispers back. “well get me out of this one” thor ask “i cant.” “get me out” “I cant” they debacle before you interrupt “how did you get here?” you ask. “I was here a few weeks ago I gained his trust i know hes strange but im in the good with him” loki says.

“what are we whispering about” Grandmaster sneaks up on yall. “jesus fuck what are you a mouse?!” you ask feeling your heart pounding like drums. “you know this lord of thunder?” grandmaster ask loki. “god of thunder heh tell him” thor says nodding. “i've never met this man in my life” loki says with a nervous smile. “their brothers” you chime in “adopted” loki clarifies. you smile at the grandmaster. “well if you want to get back to assguard or-” grandmaster starts “asgard” thor clarifies. “Only those who defeat me beloved champion can leave.”  grandmaster said with a smile. “just send him that way he’ll stab whomever whatever to get back home” you say. thor nods with a smirk.

and off he goes. not long after loki nods towards where thor was sent and you nod back. As much as you hate loki it was nice having 2 familiar faces here. You walked after loki and snuck into the room. loki was making hand gestures as thor threw a rock through him. “course” you say with a shake of your head. loki and thor look towards you. “why did i actually think for once you'd be nice and actually be here” you say rolling your eyes. “Never put faith in my brother to be nice” thor says throwing another rock through loki. loki rolls his eyes “You don't want my help then i'll just go.” loki says turning around then turning back. “I haven't seen this champion but i know he is unstoppable and terrifying. I have placed a large wager against you won't let me down.” loki says walking off.

“He's right ya know, loki, this champion is a champion for a reason and you don't have your hammer anymore you cant even do your cool lighting trick you barely got it out your fingers...just don't get killed out there please. Loki won't admit it but he cares about your dumbass and so do i so do us both a favor and don't get killed” you say walking out the room. loki was right at the other side and rolled is eyes. “that was cheesy” he says. “shut up i just don't want you to be more annoying than usual if he fucking dies.” you reply with a grumble.

Soon enough the battle comes and you sit next to loki. your nerves become evident the more time passes. loki puts a hand on your bouncing leg. slowly it calms down. his hand stays there as thor walks out. you gulp deeply. they announce the champion and out walks.....hulk? “I have to get off this plant” loki says starting to walk off. you giggle. loki's experiences with hulk were far from fun.

“where are you going?” grandmaster ask walking loki back to his seat. “Hey! I know him! hes a friend from work!” thor says yelling. you bite back a smile. “ahem yea we kind of all work together” you say with a smile to grandmaster. his smile falters. loki looks nervous. as much as you wanted to laugh at his pain hulk throwing you around can be quite traumatic. “hey you're up here...hes down there” you say “hes not coming after you ok hes controlled its ok.” you say to loki. he nods.

The fight goes on and right when you see an end that scared you thor got his powers and blasted hulk. “oh shit” you mumble. “of course” loki mumbles. thor lost the fight that's the summary of it. You and loki ended up wondering the place. “shouldn't we try to find thor?” you ask. “if you want thor i can take you to him but i figured id take you somewhere” loki said. “uh yea sure” you said with a shrug. 

You a loki end up at the top of a mountain the view looks beautiful. the sky was many shades of blue from dark to light. “this is...this is beautiful” you say. “yes it is” he replied looking at you. you turn to him seeing him look at you. you smile...maybe loki wasn't so bad after all.

Then an alarm goes off “My precious champion is missing that seductive lord of thunder as stolen him” a hologram of grandmaster says. “shit....thor” you say. “follow” loki says. he grabs your hand and you two end up in the grandmasters office him and the scavenger who brought you and thor is there debate who can bring thor and hulk in faster. “Well i come as a pair” loki said holding your hand up. “uhhhhhh suppose so?” you say with a shrug. “i woke up wanting an execution but ill settle for this little ‘who gonna get him first’” grandmaster says. 

you three walk out. “now why would you help my brother escape” loki ask “I help no one but myself” she replies. loki and her end up fighting as you just sit back and watch what can be said watching loki get his ass handed to him was fun. when she knocks him out she looks to you. “do i have to knock you out too? or i can just use this.” she says holding the remote. “uh see i'm not really with him but ya see he makes a great partner in crime but ill just follow willingly.” you say putting your hands up. “good choice” she says.

“Should probably get your name if your going to take us hostage” you say. “valkyrie” she says. you two walk in silence into a room as she ties him up. “i’ll be back keep him there” she says walking out. you sit next to loki and sigh. “your my soulmate...you? i don't know if i have the worst luck.....no i have the best luck.” you say with a smile. one of his sleeves is slightly up and you can see your name on his wrist. “how did we get stuck like this...together.” you ask. loki looks so peaceful asleep. this trip has made you see a vulnerable and kinder loki.

you kiss his cheek before seeing him squirm. his eye open and he looks around. “course she made you babysit” he grumbles. aaaaand he ruined it. you roll your eyes. “shut up and make this easy on both of us and just stay.” you say. “what am I a dog?” he says with a huff. “well you were a snake one time” you say laughing at the memory. he laughs “fair enough” he replies. He starts to say something else when the doors open. thor and bruce walk in. “y/n!” he says excitedly. “Bruce” you say happily hugging him. You two had been close before he disappeared to well here. loki grumbles and bruce turn to him. “last time i saw you, you were ready to kill us where are we at now?” bruce ask. “it varies moment to moment” loki replies. 

bruce looks at you concerned. “he's on our side for now.” you say sitting next to loki. “look we need to get out of here.” he points to a portal outside “through there” he says. “through the devil's anus?!” valkyrie ask. you burst out laughing. “I wasn't aware it was called that when i picked it” thor says slightly embarrassed. “well we need a ship mine wont make it through that” valkyrie says.

They then nerd out about ships as loki struggles in his chains. “Don't even try there stuck there” you whisper to him. he sighs and gives up. “I just so happen to know the codes to grandmasters ship keep” loki says. “and your just ready to help?” valkyrie ask “i have run out of favors with grandmaster sO” he says and sighs. you side eye loki suspicious. he smiles you and you look to the others. 

“what the worst he betrays us? Would just be another day with the odinson boys.” you say standing up. So that was that. You,thor, and loki would go get the ship. you two were at a door when thor started “I suppose we should talk.” he said. “i disagree,open communication was never our family's forte” loki said. “you have no idea quite the revelation sense we last spoke” thor says

“hello” thor says to the people...things that see you 3 come in. “hi” loki says making you smile “sup” you say before you 3 blast them. “Odin brought us together” loki says as you 3 hide from the shot fired back. “Its almost poetic that his death should split us apart.” loki continues. you sigh “loki why are you so prominent on keeping this angsty wall of yours up” you grumble earning you a side eye. you three then finish them off walking to another key pad. “We might as well be strangers now” loki says ignoring your statement.

“Two sons of the crown, set adrift” loki says. you'd love to say something or really just slap loki so he stops pushing his brother away further and further with every words but you let him continue. The door opens and a man points a gun at loki making him backup and you giggle as thor blast him to the ceiling. “thought you didn't want to talk about it” thor says walking into the elevator. loki puts a finger up “here's the thing” he says stepping over the body. you roll your eyes and follow.

“im probably better off staying here on sakaar.” loki says. that's not what he wants. you stare at thor which he clearly doesn't get cause he then says “That's exactly what I was thinking” 

loki makes a stunned face and looks shocked and confused. “Did you just agree with me?” he says shocked. you hit loki's shoulder “what its surprising” you roll your eyes. “come on this place is perfect for you. its savage,chaotic,lawless. Brother you're gonna do great here.” thor says matter of factly. you title your head up and sigh. “morons” you grumble earning two confused looks.

“Do you truly think so little of me?” lokie ask. you shake your head. they really are stupid aren't they. “Loki, i thought the world of you.” thor says. finally now loki dont fuck this up. loki's face soften ups and you smile at it. “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever” thor continues. come oooon.  “but” fucking hell thor. “at the end of they day your you and i'm me” thor says with a shrug. loki looks hurt now. “i don't know maybe there's still good in you. but lets be honest our paths diverged a long time ago” he finishes. fucking hell thor you just had to go and fuck it up. loki contemplates what was just said looking between the floor and thor. 

he sighs and nods. his face is full of hurt. you grab his hand softly and give him a small smile which he reciprocates. you may hate loki which lets be honest even that was falling apart but you still wanted him happy. you hated how hurt he looked. like a kicked puppy. “yea...it's probably for the best that we never see each other again.” loki says voice full of pain and almost desperate for thor to deny the allegations.  “that's what you always wanted” thor says patting loki. “yall are the most idiotic gods there could be” you say taking thor off guard. loki simply laughs. thor shakes his head and turns back to the front.

“hey lets do get help” thor says happily. this wipes the hurt from loki and replaces it with confusion. “what?” he ask “get help.” he says again. “no.” loki says shaking his head. “come on, you love it” thor says excitedly. “I hate it” loki says shaking his head again. “Its great it works everytime” thor says “its humiliating loki says swinging his hands bringing attention to you two holding hands. This earns a smirk from thor before he says “You have a better plan?” he ask.

“no” loki says. “were doing it” thor says with a smile. “we are not doing get help” loki says matter of factly. next thing you knew loki was limp over the shoulder and thor was yelling get help before throwing loki at the guards. you laughed falling onto your ass. “see this is why i didn't want to do it” loki says nodding to you. “im im ok im good” you say trying to stop laughing. you get up but not far before loki does as loki does and betrays yall. he twitches on the floor and thor walks off. “i'm gonna stay here with him” you say. thor looks suspiciously at you before carrying on. 

“if you just hadn't been so stupid and said how you felt and what you wanted from thor we wouldn't be here and now im stuck taking care of your dumbass once again. God i don't even know why i stay anymore when all you do is exactly what would hurt me what you trying to fulfill the enemy part of our deal?” you ask lifting up your sleeves showing the two loki names. “I mean really loki why do you keep doing this please just explain it to me. I started to see a side of you the side that I actually cared for and saw us being real soulmates but then you pulled this crap again and now i don't even know what to feel.” you say before the doors bust in. a rocky man and a group of others walk in. picking up the remote and stopping loki's twitching. Loki looks at you with soft eyes before turning back to the men smuggly. “you look like your in desperate need of a leader” he says. you huff and he looks at you and smiles.

“why thank you” the group says. With that y'all are off on a ship. “sooo where are we running to now” you ask loki. “no more running were going to asgard and were going to kill my sister.” he says with a nod. you smile. you grab lokis shoulders throwing him off. “whatd i do?” he ask. for the first time ever he seems like he'd do anything for you. “nothing” you say with a smile. you kiss his cheek. he looks around confused before clearing his throat. “ok good um ok” he says turning to the panel. you giggle before walking to chat with the others. finally you arrived at asgard which is on fire and surrounded by death. “read?” he ask. you grab his hand. “always” you say turning to him. he smiles and nods. the ship door opens and you all run out and attack.

when the fight seems like a dead end thor blast the whole kingdom with lighting and launches himself out to the bridge. loki smirks slightly which you see and smile yourself. “your late” thor says  “your missing an eye” loki says. “ok enough let clear these out and-” you start before hela emerges. what the actual fuck. “hit her with lighting” loki says. “I just hit her with the biggest lighting bolt and she acted like it was nothing” thor yells. “wait....what if this isn't about stopping ragnarok.  what if it was about causing it”

thor looks at loki who looks surprised. “this is insane even for me” he says walking off. “Loki!” you yell. he turns around. you grab him and kiss him. its soft and its like the world stopped just for a moment before you have to pull away. “don't get killed” you say. he nods and smiles “anything for you darling” he says with a wink before running off. thor clears his throat. “let's fight” you say. with that you and valkyrie fight with the others as thor hold hela off. you worry for loki how he’ll get out.

Then ragnarok emerges and fire is everywhere. hels is distracted and you and the others run into the ship. flying away Taika says something about the foundation. then it explodes. a few minutes later loki is next to you. “hello darling” he says. you smile and grab onto loki pulling him into a hug. “loki thank god” you say pulling away. you kiss him deeply. “don't ever do that shit again” you say.

You all spend 3 months flying around before coming across a teeny tiny issues heh. you sat in a pool of blood of your friends. people you grew to care about. you tried to scream but were muffled by the guard on your mouth. After the 1st scream they put the guard on to stop the noise. thor was tied down. Heimdall was dead and hulk had been blasted away.  You tried to scream again but it stopped as soon as it exited.

Thanos had just decided earth was where needed to be next. “if i might interject, if you are going to earth you might want a guid” loki says appearing. he walks towards thanos. “I do have a bit of experience in that arena” loke says walking up to thanos “if you consider failure experience” thanos said. “I consider experience experience” he said firmly. “All mighty thanos, I loki, prince of asgard, odinson, the rightful king of jotunheim,god of mischief.” he starts spewing off his titles. you see him make a knife appear and you try to scream once again. “Do hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity.” he says starting to power before trying to stab thanos. thanos stops it. “undying” thanos says. “you should choose your words more carefully.” thanos says as he forces loki to drop the knife. 

Thanos grabs loki by the neck chocking him. you scream but no sound escapes. tears flood your eyes. “you will never be a god” loki says with his last breath before thanos snaps his neck. thor tries to scream too bt fails.thanos walks over and drops loki's body. “no resurrections this time” he  says before lighting everything on fire and leaving. with that your guards are released. you run to lokis body. 

you sob and scream. “y/n” thor tries. “shut the fuck up thor” you yell at him through gritted death. you hold loki. your enemy, your nemesis but more importantly your soulmate. rolling up his sleeves you see the one with your name. grabbing the other you see a different name. Luca. you knew him he was annoying as hell. of course now he was another corpse among the rest. you weren't his enemy. He was only yours. Everything he did everything that annoyed you was him trying to be close but in loki's own way. Loki Laufeyson. your enemy and your one true love.

[mmsapataoltda]

Heartbeat (PART 2)

check the tags for trigger warning. In case anyone is in doubt this happens in 146 so Lin is 26 and Tenzin 27

I don't know how to put a link here so part 1 is fixed in my page

fic under the cut

After Lin returned from her tour on the Island with Izumi close at her heels, Tenzin could notice her slightly swollen eyes and how she kept away from social interactions as much as possible. Kya was also watching her from across the room. The joy she felt when Lin and Tenzin announced the expected baby was slowly coming apart as she watched the earthbender interact with her baby brother. She didn't know if she felt worse because she was jealous of her brother or because she couldn't be overjoyed anymore by the little-announced news.

After all the guests had left, Lin and Tenzin said their good night to the family and retired to Tenzin's room. Lin's stillness was making Tenzin worried, he was used to her closing down when she didn't want to talk about something that made her uncomfortable, but this was different. She looked scared. But when she turned off the light on the lamp on her side of the bed said good night and then rolled over on her back to sleep, he figured it would be better for both of them if he just snuggled her body against his.

The next morning, right after breakfast, Lin was sitting on one of the beds at Katara's healing hut on Air Temple Island. Tenzin was sitting in a chair in front of the bed, watching Lin as serious as she could be. She was apprehensive, Tenzin knew, and made a point of staring at the wall behind him like it was the most interesting thing in the world in an effort not to look at him.

- Everything will be fine, Lin. - he said trying to calm her down, but she just directed her impenetrable gaze to him

- You don't know that. – she replied firmly – This child is growing inside of me, there is a high chance of her being born with three eyes.

The screen doors separating the room from the rest of the healing hut opened and Tenzin immediately rose to his feet to carry the basin of water Katara had brought with her and set it on the nightstand beside the bed Lin was occupying.

- Hi sweetheart – Katara greeted Lin affectionately as she approached the bed – Can you take off your shirt and turn to get started? - Lin nodded and did what Katara had asked, turning over in bed with only his bindings and sweatpants

Katara approached again with her hands covered with water and placed them on the metalbender’s chest, she opened her mouth to speak to Lin, but Tenzin interrupted her:

- Aren't you going to examine the baby first? - he asked anxiously

- I didn't know you were a healer, Tenzin. – the waterbender Master said ironically and resumed her consultation. Lin was pressing her lips together to keep from laughing at the face Tenzin had made at her mother's reply – I'll ask you some questions, okay? – the earthbender nodded – I need you to try to be as exact as possible with the dates. I assume you weren't trying to get pregnant. - was the first question

- No. - Lin and Tenzin replied together after exchanging looks

- When was your last cycle?

Lin pondered for a while, doing the math in her mind.

- 5 weeks.

- Did you have sex during this period? – Katara's question made Tenzin red

- Yes. - It was Lin who answered

- How long are you late? – she asked and moved the water to Lin's back

- About 15 days. My cycles are not regulated, I always end up missing one or two due to stress at the Police Station.

- When was the last time you had sex?

- Mom... - Tenzin objected, turning almost scarlet, receiving a reproachful look from his mother

- Two days ago. – Lin replied, ignoring Tenzin's objection and Katara nodded and moved her water-covered hands away from Lin's body

- You can lie down, I'll start examining the baby.

Lin did as the healer asked and soon Katara's hands were on her stomach.

- How did you find out you were pregnant?

- I can hear the heartbeat through the earth. – Katara smiled with this information

- I believe the baby was the person she was listening to last night. – it was Lin's turn to nod but Katara and Tenzin noticed her stiffen at the mention of Toph

Katara asked a few more questions about Lin's health as she moved her hands around her abdomen before stepping away and returning the water to the bowl beside the bed. Lin put on her shirt and sat down next to Tenzin on the other side of Katara's desk.

- Well... Lin, your weight is excellent for your height. The baby is approximately 5 weeks old and has a strong and regular heartbeat. – she paused in her notes – There is only one thing that worries me. – Lin shifted in her chair suddenly uncomfortable, she knew something wouldn't be right – Toph's pregnancies were very delicate, especially with Su. She had pre-eclampsia both times and with Su she went into premature labor because of it, thanks to the Spirits I managed to reverse the situation and Su was born close to the scheduled date. With that you have a genetic predisposition to have a risky pregnancy. As you said yourself, you are under a high level of stress at work and this is already causing changes in your blood pressure. This can cause complications for you and the baby's health. – Tenzin moved his hand to reach Lin's and squeezed it gently, but Lin didn't respond to the gesture – Under these circumstances I suggest you take maternity leave within the next few weeks. 

- No way! – Lin exclaimed, pulling her hand away from Tenzin's touch and crossing her arms, she should have seen it coming

- Lin, try to be reasonable. – Tenzin asked quietly

- Tenzin, no! I'll have to stay away for almost a year when the time comes, I won't be locked inside the house for another seven months doing nothing, this will end up leaving me more stressed than the Police Station. – she turned her attention to Katara – Katara with all due respect, but I will not stop working unless absolutely necessary.

- I knew you would react like that. – Katara made a few more lines of notes before addressing them once more – You can work until your fifth month of pregnancy… – Lin opened her mouth to thank her, but Katara raised her hand to interrupt – Dont thank me yet, i'm not done. But until then you will work in the office, no fieldwork.

- What? – Lin almost yelled and her eyes widened in protest, but Katara paid little attention

- No patrols, no field investigations, no stakeout for 36 hours and no operations. And I know this is important to you, but you're also going to have to start slowing down with your workouts.

- Katara… - Lin tried to argue, but Katara continued

- And that is absolutely necessary. I'll talk to Chief Song myself if needed to. - Lin snorted and tightening the knot she made with her arms - Due to the delicacy of the pregnancy I will also ask you to stop drinking coffee and take appointments every two weeks.

- Something else? – Lin asked completely grumpy

- That is all.

And in the blink of an eye, Lin was up and out of the room.

Tenzin found her in the living room crosslegged on the window sofa as she turned the pages of the book she was reading almost aggressively.

- Lin. - he called her gently passing through the small crack in the door, but she ignored his presence. Tenzin rubbed a hand across his forehead and sighed before approaching her with slow steps – Lin. – he repeated and knelt on the floor in front of her, gently lowered the book she was using to hide her face and rested his hands on the metalbender’s knees

- I'm scared, Tenzin. – she confessed almost in a whisper – I'm not sure of anything about my life right now and it scares the shit out of me. First I was scared to be like the Chief, now I have to be away from my job otherwise I might end up losing the baby. Tenzin… – he approached her, snuggling between her thighs and lifting a hand to caress Lin's waist – I'm so confused. I never wanted this, I didn't want to have a baby, but now I'm pregnant and I'm not hating it, but at the same time it has my job and Chief Song has nominated me for the Captain's exam...

Tenzin had to compose himself with the revelation of that information, she hadn't said anything about the nomination. Lin looked down to meet the airbender's eyes and he noticed that her eyes were filled with fear, that feeling looked so wrong in Lin's eyes, she was always brave, always gave herself to the things she wanted, he couldn't let her feel that way.

- You can be sure about one thing: I'm here for you and I will always be, no matter what. And I'm sure you're going to do what's possible and impossible for our baby because you're like that, you give yourself to the things you commit to. – Lin smiled gratefully at him and tilted her head to the side – Now about your work… – Lin tensed again – I'm sorry this isn't going the way you planned and that this will interfere with your work, I know how important it is to you. But I'm here for you and I know you're going to be Capitain and then AC and then Chief.  – he smiled  – We can make this work. You could move to the Island, you would be closer to my mother and I could take care of you. We can turn the room next to mine into a nursery, we'll let Kya decorate it with all those cute baby things… – Lin laughed at the same time a tear escaped her eye – We can get married.

- On that hill I like with view to the city. - she completed placing her hand over his on her waist and reaching for the other to intertwine their fingers

- On that hill you like.

- I could do that.

The weeks went by smoothly, and Lin's move to Air Temple Island was accomplished with two flying bison trips under the supervision of Sokka and Aang that wouldn't let her lift a pin, let alone a box. At each appointment with Katara, she would tell her that everything was running smoothly, that she just needed to pay attention to her stress level and her diet. A few days after completing the 12th week Tenzin was responsible for a big spike in her blood pressure.

- You´re showing! – he almost yelled when Lin appeared in the room among the steam from the bathroom only wearing her panties and her bindings while drying her hair with the towel, she almost left the floor at his sudden reaction

- No, I am not. - she said immediately pulling the towel from her hair and looking at her stomach

- Yes you are! – Tenzin jumped out of bed and grabbed Lin's wrist dragging her back into the bathroom

He doubled a gentle stream of air on the mirror to defog, positioned Lin in front of him, and turned her on her side. Lin fixed her eyes on the reflection of her belly on the mirror and found what Tenzin was referring to. It was a small bump, it was almost imperceptible, but it was there. The earthbender ran a hand over her stomach, feeling the lump and couldn't help the smile that formed on her face.

- It's our baby. – Tenzin said hugging her from behind placing his soft hands on the small bump and placing a series of kisses on Lin's exposed neck, who immediately started to feel hot and tilted her head to the side so that Tenzin had better access to her skin 

The kisses became wetter and firmer, then Lin moved Tenzin's hands to her breasts squeezing it lightly, which made her let ou a little moan. She turned and brought their lips together in a needy kiss wrapping one leg around his hip, Tenzin realized what she wanted and then lifted her other leg holding Lin firmly on his hip by the thighs and walked with her in his arms to the bed

Tenzin was definitely loving the pregnancy hormones.

Lin was lying comfortably on his chest stroking Tenzin’s sternum as he drew large circles on Lin's bare back.

- Do you think Kya can find out if it's a boy or a girl? – he asked after placing a kiss on Lin's black hair.

- We don't need Kya to find out. – she replied raising an elbow to look at him – I know it's a girl.

- Oh? – Tenzin raised an eyebrow as well

- Beifongs don't have male children.

Thinking of the Beifong family tree Tenzin realized that Lin was correct. Lao was the only male child among three sisters, Poppy had only one sister and had an only daughter, Toph, who also had only daughters.

- But we can talk to her after dinner, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to tell everyone that she found out. - Lin commented lying down again on the airebnder’s chest 

- I bet she will.

Unlike what they expected, Kya didn't show up for dinner. Katara said she was in her room packing her things to leave the next morning. Lin's heart clenched at the news, she didn't want her to leave, a selfish part of her wanted to keep Kya close so she could feel her heady presence that made her so confused. After Tenzin excused himself to take a phone call in his office, Lin did the same and went to Kya's room, something was wrong and she knew.

Lin knocked on the door, but loud music drowned out the sound, the metalbender opened the door a crack and she could see Kya stuffing clothes into her suitcase as she muttered to herself. Lin cleared her throat to announce her presence and Kya flew nearly three feet off the ground but didn't turn to her, the waterbender brought her hands to her face and took a few deep breaths before turning to face her. The waterbender didn't greet her with a bright smile as she always did, instead her eyes were sad and puffy and the tip of her nose was red. Lin raised her hand toward the radio and turned her fingers to turn off the device.

- Are you leaving. – it wasn't a question

- Yes. – Kya replied trying to sound firm and went back to stuffing clothes in her suitcase

- Why? – Lin asked entering the room, but Kya didn't answer her, just started to form a ball with the piece in her hand and threw it on the bed aggressively – Kya. What's happening? – Kya turned to her and once again Lin was surprised to see the piercing blue eyes filled with tears, Lin always knew that Kya cried at a drop of a hat but there was nothing that could explain it

- I can't be here right now. – Kya's answer only made Lin more confused – I'll come back when you enter the eighth month to help with the delivery, but I can't… – A sob escaped her lips and Kya covered her face to hide her tears

Instinctively Lin approached her, grabbed her wrists and gently pulled her hands away from her face. Still holding one of Kya's hands, Lin raised the other to the waterbender’s face and touched it with the greatest gentleness in the world, as if it would break with any careless touch. At first Kya was transfixed by the closeness she was from the metalbender, but she let herself feel comfortable as callused hands whiped her tears.

When Lin's hand lowered again, without noticing Kya mirrored Lin's gesture touching her face, she didn't seem bothered by the touch, so Kya ran her thumb over the twin scars on her cheek. They weren't smiling, they were afraid that any movement would break the spell surrounding them. The waterbender tried to absorb every detail of Lin's face, she wanted to kiss her. Lin's eyes were fixed on Kya's lips and she wondered if they were as soft as they looked. But suddenly Kya's touch faltered and she let out a soft breath.

- That's why I need to go. – Kya said fighting back tears and took her hand away from Lin's face.

The metalbender instantly missed the touch and watched silently as Kya closed her suitcase threw it over her shoulder and walked through the doorframe with just a "Good night Lin" and left leaving Lin standing and confused in the middle of her own bedroom.

When Lin returned to her’s and Tenzin’s room, Tenzin was lying on the bed while reading a book. She could feel that her cheeks were still hot and they sure were red. Tenzin lowered the book and sat up, noticing his girlfriend’s lost gaze.

- Lin, what's wrong? - he asked worried. 

Tenzin's voice brought her back to reality and she blinked a few times to clear her thoughts of what had happened, or nearly happened, in Kya's room.

- Nothing. – she replied with a brief smile – Everything is fine. – she watched Tenzin's shoulders relax immediately.

- What did Kya say? - he asked anxiously

- That's a girl.

The way Kya left the next day left Lin thoughtful and distant for the next few days. She didn't understand what they were or where those feelings related to the waterbender came from, but she knew one thing: she missed Kya. That didn't mean she didn't love Tenzin, of course she loved him, with every beat of her heart, so what Kya made her feel made her even more confused. So, as with all the feelings she wasn't going to talk to anyone about, she stuffed them inside a little box and pushed them into a corner of her mind where she could pretend they didn't exist.

Along with the 14th week of pregnancy came the exam to select the next Captain of the Republic City Police Department. The theoretical part for the Captain's exam was being applied and all the Lieutenants of the 15th Class were gathered in the brifing room with their faces buried in scrolls reading and writing, Lin Beifong was the only Lieutenant of the 16th Class present. After explaining the entire situation to Chief Song, he did not allow her not to take the test with the other Lieutenants of the 15th class.

- This test is a mere formality, I have already made my decision, you will be the next Captain. Yoy will take the exam and as soon as you come back from maternity leave you will assume the post. - he said

And that's how she ended up sitting in the back of the brifing room for a four-hour test. Occasionally her right hand would leave its resting place beside the paper to caress the belly completely imperceptible to outside eyes hidden under her armor, which was no longer being so comfortable. Her foot remained barefoot against the floor as the heartbeat of the small baby growing in her womb soothed her.

Later that day, Lin and Tenzin were sitting on their bed, their backs against the headboard, she had just told him about how the test had gone and about all her expectations in that matter, Tenzin assured her that there was nothing she should worry as Chief Song had already made his decision that she would take over after her maternity leave, his hands never leaving Lin's stomach as her cold hands covered his.

She reached over to her bedside table to pick up the book about pregnancy Katara had given her, which had been hers during her pregnancies. Lin was devouring the book. Each chapter talked about what to expect in each week of pregnancy and what was happening with the baby in that week, as she completed each week she read a new chapter and reread it several times until completing the next. That night Lin couldn't contain her anxiety and ended up reading the chapters about the next few weeks, while reading Tenzin lay with his face lying close to her bump, talking in whispers with the baby.

- Her eyesight will start to develop in a few weeks. Unless she's blind.

- She's not blind. He is not blind - Tenzin countered - But if he or she is blind, that’s not a problem.

- I already told you it's a girl. – Lin said looking at him – You can call it "she", because the baby will be born and she will think you were wrong all along. – Tenzin frowned at her confused and Lin shook her head – Suddenly she's not even listening, she might be deaf.

- Not a problem too. One of the monks who trained my father was deaf. - he commented trying to get around Lin's pessimism

- Okay, but what if it's not okay?! Two heads, three arms...?

- Stop. – Tenzin said horrified to her

- I'm just saying. If a woman has to have a child with two heads, three arms and 11 fingers, that woman is me.

- Lin... it doesn't even make sense, if she has three arms it will be 15 fingers and I don't know why I'm saying this. – he shot in sequence, getting ready on his pillow – Now go to sleep, please. – he got up to kiss her temple and Lin started to move to get out of bed.

- I just need to get something from the kitchen. - she said getting up from the bed and left the room

Tenzin knew she didn't need anything from the kitchen. The trip there was just an excuse to be able to put her bare feet on the floor so she could hear the baby's heart beating. He knew Lin was worrying too much and that listening to the baby's heart soothed her.

When she reached the kitchen, Lin placed her hands on her belly, closed her eyes and stomped firmly with her left against the floor. The waves of her seismic sense swept the entire first floor, but Lin was focused on the small square meter she was standing in, the waves crept up her body and she could see the outline of her baby in her womb. She stroked her tiny belly until the waves dissipated and the formed image faded from her mind.

One Wednesday night in the middle of the 16th week of pregnancy, Lin woke up with a terrible pain in her lower abdomen. She sat up in bed with her hand on her stomach and let out a silent scream of pain. Something wasn't right. She turned to Tenzin and shook him desperately, trying to wake him up.

- Tenzin. – she turned to him and shook him with all the strength that was left in her body, which wasn't much when he heard the tone of his girlfriend's voice he sat up immediately on the bed – Tenzin, there's something wrong... the baby. - she said through her tears, the only words that escaped her mouth and in the next second she was bending forward in a scream of pain

He immediately got out of bed to run to his mother's room, but as soon as he turned on the lamp to see his way to the door he froze in place as he noticed the pool of blood Lin was sitting in. In that moment she knew. Her baby was gone.

Tenzin entered his parents' room unannounced, they were sleeping peacefully facing each other, completely unaware of what was going on. The door hit the wall with the force it was opened, Katara was the first to get up and when she noticed the expression on her son's face she realized that something wasn't right.

- Lin is in pain. - he said breathlessly

In less than a second Katara was on her feet with Aang at her heels.

- Take her to my healing hut, your father and I will prepare the pool. – she said as she tied a robe around her waist and put on her slippers

Tenzin carried Lin to his mother's hut, her weight barely perceptible in his arms. She was terribly quiet and pale, the tears had stopped and now they were just damp, glistening memories on her cheeks. He walked quickly while trying not to pay attention to the bloodstains on her thighs. As soon as they entered the hut, Aang came to their assistance and helped Tenzin get Lin into the pool.

Aang moved to leave the room and let his wife work on Lin and put a hand on Tenzin’s chest to walk him out, but Tenzin didn't move a muscle, reluctant to leave Lin alone.

- Tenzin go with your father. - Katara asked in a professional tone

Then he left the room, his father closing the screen doors behind them. But the look on Lin's face was one he couldn't shake from his thoughts, and one he knew he would never forget. Her face was streaked with tears, but no new ones left her eyes, she stared at nothing with a blank expression. That was the word that would be used to write Lin at that moment. Empty. He had never seen her like that and wished he had never had that opportunity.

When the doors opened again, nearly an hour and a half later, Katara's devastated gaze confirmed what they already knew. Tenzin felt the air leave his lungs as he brought his hands to his head feeling his knees go weak, Aang held him in place helping him to control his breathing while Katara's hands rested on his chest whispering things he didn't register. Once he was merely steady on her knees, Katara said:

- Lin had a miscarriage. As it was in the second trimester of pregnancy I needed to clean the uterus so we need to move her very carefully and she will need healing sessions for a week. – he could see that she was on the verge of tears as she tried to pass on the information, he tried to move towards the closed door, but his mother stopped him, she opened her mouth to speak, but the words were not passing through her throat – She passed by a huge trauma, a  miscarriage after the 12th week is more aggressive and she is very fragile. Tenzin. – she looked deeply at her son – She needs you more than ever, you need to be strong for her, I'm not saying you shouldn't have your mourning period or block your emotions, but you need to take it slow with her.

The airbender nodded firmly and took a few breaths trying to get his emotions under control before entering the room. Lin looked smaller and more delicate than ever in the water, her clothes were soaking wet as were the ends of her hair that made contact with the water just below her shoulders. He didn't know what to say and before he had a chance to find out he heard Lin break into a sob:

- Tenzin. – at the sound of Lin's broken voice, he immediately strode to her stepping into the water without bothering with his pajamas getting wet and she hid in his chest while crying openly and clutching his shirt – I'm sorry. I am so sorry. – she kept repeating as he stroked her black hair and her back

- Shhh. – he said with his chin resting on top of her head – This is not your fault, you don't have to apologize for anything. – it was only at that moment as Lin clung to his clothes and cried desperately that he realized that his own tears were running down his face and falling into the black strands of his girlfriend's head

Five days had passed since that terrible Wednesday night, and Lin still declined to join the others at family dinners or eat a decent meal or receive anyone outside the family who lived on the Island. Including your mother.

- I don't care that she doesn't want to see me. She is my kid. – she argued with Katara, but the older woman refused to leave her position in front of the door – I swear Katara, if you don't get out of my way I'll bury you in a hole so deep that I myself won't be able to find you. She needs me! I am her mother!

After realizing that arguing with Toph in Lin's earshot would not benefit anyone at all, she relented and let Toph into the room. In a historic effort to talk about her feelings, she told Lin how she felt when she almost lost Su and what helped her overcome that trauma in an attempt to help her daughter. But it wasn't the same, Su was very much alive and walking around her new town living her private fairy tale while Lin went through hell. Toph left placing a kiss on Lin's hairline and he said goodbye with an empty "Thanks, Chief". Although Toph hasn't left town, appearing on the Island from time to time, she hasn't returned to visit Lin, content in just listening and feeling her footsteps across the bedroom floor.

Katara and Aang were being the pillars on which she and Tenzin could stand, they were also going through their respective griefs, but they didn't fail to lend their strength to the young couple. Strangely, the metalbender found great relief in meditating with the two airbenders in the first rays of sun and this was the only activity that made her leave the room apart from the healing sessions with Katara. At Lin's request, the waterbender had told her everything that had happened that night that no one would ever forget, assuring her that none of it was her fault, but Lin couldn't stop blaming herself. What if she had listened to Katara and stopped working? What if she had eaten better? What if she hadn't ventured into the training room? What if she had been more careful? The "what ifs" circled in Lin's head and refused to leave.

On the seventh day Kya arrived. Dropping her suitcase at the stairs and running into the house.

- I came as fast as I could. Where is she? – she asked exasperated to Katara who had her hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her down as Kya tried to cross the kitchen agitated

- She's in the bedroom, but first you need to calm down. – Kya stopped moving and took a few deep breaths, although Katara could still feel her daughter trembling against her palms – Better. – she said and released Kya who almost flew out of the kitchen and up the stairs

Lin heard a soft knock on the door. With her feet off the ground she was unable to tell who was knocking, so she simply replied:

- It's open. - in a weak voice

When Kya came into view she was overwhelmed with the urge to cry, but she pushed it deep into her chest.

- I'm sorry, Lin. – Kya said as soon as her eyes landed on Lin sitting on the bed, she crossed the room with long strides and open arms, enveloping Lin in a much-needed hug that wasn't refused. The metalbender could feel Kya's hot tears on her shoulder, but she didn't cry – It's okay to cry. – she said in a gentle voice when Lin wrapped her in her arms, burying her face in Kya's neck and smelling her scent

- I do not want to cry. – Kya knew that was a lie. Lin broke the embrace and got up from the bed, the younger woman turned to her, the tears she'd struggled so hard with finally leaving her eyes – But what I want to do now is scream. I want to scream until my throat hurts more than my head, stomach and chest. I just want to scream to relieve some of this pain and this anger I'm feeling at myself. – Lin said firmly through his tears, gesturing hugely as she walked in front of Kya

- Then scream. – Kya replied in the same tone – Scream. Let it out.

- I can’t do it. – Lin said, trying hard not to sob and shaking her head – I can't, I can't, I don't...

She slipped on the wall she was next to and as soon as her hands covered her face she let that sob escape. Kya sat beside her, silently humming a tune as she stroked her back in large circles and allowed Lin to cry all her tears. After a few minutes, Lin calmed down. Kya was the first to get up from the floor and reach out a hand to help Lin up, who accepted and stood up carefully and leaning against the wall. But Kya didn't let go of her hand, tucking it in Lin's so that their fingers intertwined and she started walking towards the door to leave the room. Lin hesitated.

- Where are we going?

- Do you trust me? – Kya asked with a gentle smile and Lin's heart squeezed and she nodded

The two walked through the living room and kitchen hand in hand, ignoring the eyes that accompanied them. When they reached the outside of the house Kya began to guide her to the covered pavilion where Tenzin and Aang trained when the weather was not favorable.

- Ok, Kya I'm not a child, I don't need a tour on the Island. – Lin said when they entered the pavilion and Kya's hand left hers to close the door

- Scream. – she said turning to Lin

- What? – Lin asked as if that was the most absurd idea she had ever heard

- Scream. – she repeated, encouraging the earthbender with a nod of her head

- I can’t. - she took a step back

- Do it.

- No, I can't do it...

But before Lin could continue her argument Kya leaned forward screaming.

- I can’t do it. – Lin repeated with a frown and turned to leave the pavilion

And then Kya screamed again.

In an unexpected move, Lin turned to her and finally screamed, with all the force in her being, a soul-shattering shout. When it was over she sobbed and the glass windows began to shudder as tears ran wildly down her face. She screamed again causing the glass of all the windows in the pavilion to break and crash to the floor, but this barely caught Kya's attention, who had her full attention turned to Lin and accompanied her scream this time.

Lin's third scream came hoarse but powerful from her throat, and the shards of glass lying on the floor near the broken windows flew towards the metalbender, forming a curtain of glass around her. The shards began to whirl like a hurricane around her without ever touching her. Kya watched the scene completely shocked at Lin's power, not knowing how to react. She is glassbending. When Lin's hoarse scream ceased she fell to her knees on the ground as the shards of glass froze in midair keeping Lin partially hidden within the tunnel. Kya stepped forward and reached out to touch them and the curtain fell away, falling around Lin, keeping her untouched in the center of a circle, and Kya quickly entered the circle.

She knelt beside her and Lin collapsed into her arms. Kya held Lin close as she cried and sobbed in her arms once more, while she herself silently cried trying to make the act go unnoticed by the earthbender.

Each of them deposited the feelings that choked them in their screams. For Lin the pain that had suffocated her from the moment she learned she had lost her baby, the overwhelming guilt she felt for thinking she hadn't been good enough, and the feeling that she had let everyone down. For Kya it was seeing Lin suffer like that and the inability to make her stop suffering, the guilt of leaving, the mourning for the more than premature departure of a niece she would never have the opportunity to meet and the pain that gripped her lungs from not being able to comfort Lin the way she desperately wanted, from not being able to be with her, from not being able to say the "I love you" that almost escaped her lips every time she looked at Lin.

[missjanjie]

Taste of a Poison Paradise | Chapter 8

Title: Taste of a Poison Paradise Summary: Life at Jackie Cox’s strip club, Poison Paradise, isn’t just lapdances and g-strings. There’s enough drama, lust, and heartache to rival any soap opera. None of the girls know what to expect on any given shift, especially while navigating their torrid, complicated relationships. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~24.2k (total) Relationship(s): Lemyanka (Lemon/Priyanka), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode), Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Jaidie (Jaida Essence Hall/Jackie Cox), BVK (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo/Kameron Michaels), Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx) Rating: E

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Chapter Summary: Things seem to be going well for Lemon until they go really bad really fast. Things are actually going well for Jackie and Jaida.

-

For the next couple of weeks, it seemed like Lemon was on the mend. She had finished her finals, gotten through her senior year, and now it was time to celebrate. Hers and Gigi’s graduations were only a couple of days apart, so the group decided to combine their graduation party that weekend.

It was one of the rare times the club was closed on a Saturday, but Jackie wanted to make sure everyone could celebrate together and turned the main room into their party space. “Cheers,” she said, raising her glass, “to Lemon and Gigi, college graduates!”

The group clinked their glasses together and drank, everyone resuming their casual conversation, relaxed, and enjoying one another’s company. With the exception, of course, of Lemon and Priyanka, who were still trying to avoid each other like the plague.

“Look, I love those two as much as the rest of y’all, but I’ve stopped feeling sorry for them — at this point, it’s just annoying,” Kameron remarked as she watched the way they behaved with a grimace. “Not that it’s any of my business, but it kind of is considering how often I have to witness them, but how long were they hooking up for anyway?”

Vanessa furrowed her brows as she counted on her fingers. “Dunno, like four months?”

“Shit, that’s like a lesbian year,” she murmured, sipping her drink. “This isn’t gonna fix itself is it?”

“Not as long as Pri’s got that rock on her finger.”

“It could be worse,” Brooke Lynn chimed in, her lips pursed around the straw in her glass, “at least she doesn’t wear it to work, can you imagine the fit Lemon would throw if she had to stare down a diamond every day?”

The three of them looked at Lemon, who, at least for the moment, appeared to be enjoying herself, then at Priyanka, who was talking to Crystal and looking stressed.

“So, dress shopping is happening on Wednesday?” Crystal asked. “Does she know?”

“Of course she doesn’t know,” Priyanka scoffed and shook her head, “I have no idea how to keep her from knowing, no one can keep a secret in their family.”

Crystal winced but nodded. “Well, good luck,” she offered before Gigi made their way to her side and her attention immediately became divided.

“Thanks,” Priyanka mumbled, her gaze drifting to Lemon, who was talking animatedly to Jan and Rosé, “I’ll need it.”

------

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Priyanka’s nerves hadn’t quelled in the slightest. Lucky for her, at least, those with her — her mother, sister, and future mother-in-law wrote it off as pre-wedding jitters. Scarlett knew better, but there was no need to blow up her best friend’s spot like that.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a more traditional store?” The mother-in-law asked, “I know Mark doesn’t want your culture to be ignored.”

“It will be two separate ceremonies,” Priyanka’s mom cut in before she could speak for herself, “she will be wearing her grandmother’s sari for that.”

Priyanka had to fight off the pained expression that tried to twist its way onto her face. It was only when she had broken the news to her family that she remembered what a big event weddings were in her family. She wasn’t about to get off lightly with this. Instead, she let the assistant at the shop lead her to a rack of dresses and suggested a few. She agreed to them without giving them a proper look, figuring she would let a majority rule.

Once she was in the first dress, she returned to the main room and stepped up on the platform in front of the mirrors. Right away, the women began discussing and debating the pros and cons of the dress — where it fit right, where it’d need to be taken in. But she couldn’t bring herself to focus on anything, instead zoning out to the song playing through the store’s speakers.

I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And I don't know what I'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you

Normally, Priyanka would roll her eyes at this sort of song, at the cheesy love in the lyrics. But with her only alternative being actively participating in shopping for a wedding dress, she listened to the music and let it resonate.

Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started I'm chasing after you

She winced but blamed it on accidentally being stuck with a pin. They didn’t have to play a song that hit so close to home, she thought. It made it that much harder to ignore the feelings that bubbled up inside her. It was only then that she realized someone was talking to her. “Huh?”

“I asked if you liked the dress,” Scarlett replied.

“Oh,” she cleared her throat. “Yeah, it’s fine.” She then realized she should have been more convincing because she found herself ushered back into the dressing room to try on dress number two, which she would then force enthusiasm for so the day would end as soon as possible.

“Are you okay?” her mother asked with sincere concern.

Priyanka nodded as she stepped off the platform. “Just a little lightheaded, I didn’t have breakfast.”

“Well, let’s get this dress taken care of, then we’ll go get something to eat.”

She nodded again as she went back to change into her regular clothes. Maybe she did just need to eat, she thought. Maybe some food or a nap would bring her back into reality. The reality where she was preparing to get married. The reality that Lemon could no longer be the main character in, no matter what some stupid song was trying to tell her. Or even worse, no matter how much she wanted her to be.

------

“You don’t normally ask me to make house calls,” Jaida remarked as Jackie let her into the apartment, “is everything okay?”

Jackie exhaled deeply. No matter how many times she had rehearsed what she was going to say, she still ended up tongue-tied the second she laid eyes on her. But she was determined to work her way through this and not let nerves get the best of her. “I watched the video you did with Denali. I… I watched it more times than I’d like to admit,” she confessed. “And I can’t get the image of you fucking her out of my mind. But more specifically… I can’t stop picturing myself in her place.”

Jaida had to put all of her mental energy into fighting off a smug grin. She wanted to choose her words carefully, not wanting to overwhelm an already anxious Jackie. “Since we’re being honest here, that’s kinda what I was aiming for,” at Jackie’s confused reaction, she continued, “you could have been less obvious with your username and how you talk online. Maybe it’s ‘cause I know you so well, but I could read all of your messages in your voice.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured to confront how you felt, considering your coming out was still fresh for you. I just wanted you to know that the option was there whenever you were ready.”

There was a silent beat before Jackie swallowed thickly and told her, “I’m ready.”

“Then tell me what you want, baby.”

“I want you to fuck me.” The words felt foreign for Jackie to say, the phrase has never left her lips with any sort of sincerity before. But at the same time, she had never been more certain in her life about what she wanted and how badly she wanted it.

Jaida moved to Jackie, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing her deeply. “I’m gonna take good care of you, okay?” she promised as they made their way to the bedroom.

And Jackie trusted her, she trusted her more than she would have anyone else in this position. She let Jaida take her to bed, let her take her time undressing her and pressing kisses to every newly exposed inch of skin. She eagerly helped her clothes off as well, letting her hands roam her body in ways she had only fantasized about.

“I don’t want you to be afraid of being loud,” Jaida told her. “I wanna hear you, wanna know how good I’m making you feel.” As she spoke, her fingers glided down Jackie’s body, stopping between her thighs before starting to rub her clit in small, firm circles.

Jackie’s head tilted back into the pillows, soft moans spilling from her lips. Her body yielded to Jaida’s touch and her moans grew louder as the other woman eased one finger into her, thrusting and curling it before adding another and picking up a steady rhythm.

“Good girl,” she praised, trailing kisses down her body. She then slowly eased her fingers out and replaced them with her tongue, licking and thrusting at a similar pace while her fingers moved to rub her clit in tandem.

It wasn’t long before the sensation became overwhelming and Jackie’s hips started to jerk erratically. She barely managed to squeak out a warning before she came harder than she ever had before, her body trembling when she was spent. “Oh my god…”

Jaida came back up and laid beside her. “Are you okay?” she asked softly, pushing the hair out of her face.

“I’m good,” Jackie assured. “I just… I haven’t… it, um…”

“Jackie…” she furrowed her brows and sat up a bit, “have you ever been with a woman before?”

Jackie’s face turned a deep shade of red. “I have, kind of. It’s been hard to work through so many years of repression and internalized homophobia, you know? I’ve made out with girls, fooled around a bit. But I guess no, I’ve never properly had sex with another woman before. I wouldn’t have wanted to put that pressure on you anyway. Besides, I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”

Jaida exhaled deeply, suddenly becoming aware of the weight that’d built upon her chest. “Then that’s all I needed to hear.”

------

“There’s a birthday party out there tonight,” Gigi remarked offhandedly as they and Lemon got ready in the quick-change room. “I know how much you love those,” they added with an overly exaggerated eye roll.

Lemon groaned. Birthdays and bachelor parties were tied for the worst groups of men to deal with as clients, the only exceptions being the ones that take it as an opportunity to go all out and tip well. “And you’re on the stage next?” she let out another disgruntled whine when they nodded, finishing off her cocktail. “Gonna get a refill, gonna need it for doing rounds.” Naturally, when she went to the bar, she went right to Crystal. The downside was Crystal knew to cut her off after three drinks and she had to flirt with men to keep the drinks coming.

“You’re getting your third one this early?” Crystal questioned as she mixed it for her. “Something on your mind?”

“Nope. Just got a birthday party that’s probably all gonna want lap dances,” she replied, taking a swig as soon as she got the drink in her hand. Sure, it didn’t help that she had seen Scarlett’s instagram post of Priyanka in her wedding dress earlier, but she wasn’t about to hash that out, especially not with the bride-to-be all of four feet away.

And Crystal wasn’t entirely convinced, but she knew there was no use in pushing further. “Well, good luck,” she offered.

Lemon set her empty glass on the counter before making her way through the crowd. It took a little while before she ended up in the vicinity of the group of men, and not long after that, they flagged her down. At first, it was business as usual, though she couldn’t shake the feeling that one of the men seemed familiar.

“Hey Mark,” the man celebrating his birthday remarked, “maybe we should come back here for your bachelor party. I bet Priyanka won’t mind!” he laughed.

That made Lemon freeze in her tracks as it all clicked. She saw red and her blood boiled with a wave of anger and loathing she had never felt before. Something inside of her took over, she hadn’t even realized she had thrown a drink in his face and screamed at him until Kameron was pulling her away and all eyes in the club were on her, including Priyanka’s, who had dropped everything to run over the second she heard Lemon scream.

“Who the hell are you?” Mark asked incredulously.

“I’m who your fianceé thinks about while you’re fucking her,” Lemon snarled while locked in Kameron’s grasp.

It was then that both Mark and Lemon realized Priyanka was right there. “What the fuck is she talking about, Pri?”

Priyanka felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach as she prayed for the floor to open up beneath her so the ground would swallow her whole. She knew she had been playing a dangerous game, but she could have never predicted that it would blow up in her face this badly. “I-”

“She’s never gonna love you,” Lemon continued with disdain in her voice. But then her tone softened to a calm, albeit distant one. “But don’t worry,” she looked towards Priyanka, their eyes meeting, “she’s never gonna love me either.”

Other than the music playing in the background, the room was silent as Lemon let Kameron take her upstairs to the common room. “How are you feeling?” she asked gently as she sat at the other end of the couch, resting her hand on the smaller girl’s leg. “You really caused a scene back there.”

“Whatever,” she mumbled. “He was gonna find out eventually. You can’t live a lie forever,” she hiccuped as she sprawled her barely-dressed body out. “I need another drink.”

“The only thing you’re drinking is water,” she said sternly, getting up and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and bringing it back, propping Lemon up enough so she could drink. “I’m gonna call Rosé and have her take you home, I don’t think you should stick around tonight,” she told her as she fished her phone from her pocket.

Lemon nodded and pushed herself to sit up properly. She hung her head down, intentionally hiding her face from Kameron as she sniffled quietly. “Pri’s gonna hate me now, isn’t she?”

Kameron winced, unsure of how honest she should be with someone both drunk and emotionally unstable. “I think once the dust settles, you two are going to have to have a long talk. It’s not gonna be easy, but it’s gonna be the only way you two have a shot at healing.”

“I ruined her marriage.”

She shook her head. “She ruined her marriage the moment she said yes to someone she didn’t want to be with. She probably would’ve gotten cold feet and left him at the altar,” she mused, both out of her honest belief and the hope that she could get Lemon to crack a smile. And once she did, she felt comfortable getting back up and calling Rosé, warning her of exactly what happened.

“I got here as fast as I could,” Rosé announced once she made it upstairs. “Three different guys tried to buy lap dances off me on the way, sorry,” she added before rushing to her cousin’s side. “You’ve done it now, huh, Lem?” she shook her head as she helped her to her feet.

Vanessa emerged from the locker room with the rest of Lemon’s belongings. “Here, you might wanna get her changed before you take her back outta here.”

Kameron furrowed her brows. “You know her locker combination?”

“Um… yes?” she tucked a bobby pin into her back pocket. “This ain’t about me,” she was quick to change the subject and helped Lemon get changed.

Rosé effectively ignored the entire exchange, saying her goodbyes to the other women before driving Lemon back home and getting her changed again, this time into pajamas. “Mik isn’t home, you can sleep in her bed,” she offered.

Lemon chewed her lip for a moment, then shook her head. “Can I stay with you? I just… I don’t wanna be by myself.”

“Of course, baby,” she assured and tucked her into bed. “Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat?”

“Need to wake up in a world where none of this happened.”

Rosé sighed sadly. “Fresh out, unfortunately.” She changed as well before joining her in bed. “Just wake me if you need anything, okay?” When she got a nod of confirmation, she turned the lights off and called it a night.

But that wasn’t the case for Lemon. No, she wouldn’t be so lucky. Even though she had been drunk, the incident replayed in her mind in great detail no matter how many times she tried to shut it off. That, coupled with struggling to sort through the mix of emotions still swirling through her, kept her awake for another hour or so before exhaustion took over and she passed out.

And back at the club, everyone else was left to pick up the pieces of the explosive incident. But as much as the clientele was willing to move past what they’d witnessed, none of the employees could get themselves to carry on. So, with Jackie’s blessing, they called it an early night and nearly everyone went back home.

Priyanka hung back, seeking solace in Jackie’s office, knowing her boss might be the only one that could understand the gravity of the fallout. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now, Jackie? This is effectively outing me to everyone. And I look bad too, they’re gonna find out I’m gay and a cheater in one go. What should I do?”

Jackie sighed, her heart truly breaking for her. “I wish there was an easy answer for this. I think, for now, you just need to get through the night.”

And Priyanka would, though she was afraid to fall asleep, overwhelmed with the need to postpone tomorrow as long as she could, because she had run out of ways to hide or lie her way out of it.

[alicemitch09writes]

lame

08.

where do we go from here

“Dorms, huh?”

“Yes,” nodded the green-haired boy, staring at his drink – affogato that you prepared. “it’s to ensure the safety of the students tenfold, considering the recent events.”

Nodding, eyes watched the scars on Izuku’s gentle hands – from when he was trying to figure out his quirk, trailing up to the burn he keeps hidden on his left arm – one caused by someone.

“I can imagine Auntie Inko wasn’t overboard with the idea?”

Izuku shifted in his seat, fingers stirring the straw of his drink. “She wanted me to transfer, because of how much I’ve been through…”

“I can’t blame her,” you nod again – there was USJ, and then there was this. “then again, it was something you couldn’t control and not really the school’s fault.”

“It’s what I told her, but she was adamant on keeping me safe. She’s a mom, after all.” That made you smile, Auntie Inko was really protective of Izuku ever since Uncle Hisashi worked abroad.

“A-Also, A-All Might convinced her,”

(E/c) eyes widened. “W-Wow…”

The All Might was at Izuku’s? Informing Auntie Inko of the dorm system and convincing her to have his apprentice stay at UA?

Izuku must be that special for the Symbol of Peace, his biggest idol, to keep him in UA.

“That’s amazing, Izuku.” Scoffing, you broke into an easy grin. “Isn’t that great, you get to stay in UA, got convinced to stay by the All Might, and you still have a chance to live his legacy.”

“(N-Nickname)!” With your praises, red flushes his cheeks and his arms flounder in the air, much to your amusement, before they ended up wrapped around his head protectively.

Everything changing again, huh?

With the dorms, students of UA will be granted and ensured of their safety as they’ll be living within the school’s premise. Really, they were doing so much just to give their students, future heroes, the very best that they deserve.

Still, it would be kind of lonely to have Izuku away.

Carmine eyes suddenly crossed your mind. The soft look on his face. The smell of burnt sugar. His warm rough hands.

“Neh, Izuku,” arms stretched out, head dropping down, your voice was quiet. “how is he?”

Drink long gone, he swallowed the sweet concoction down his throat, relishing in its sweetness and bitterness. He studied you for a bit, noting the glint in your eyes, how it was much different from before whenever Kacchan brought up.

Tapping his fingers, he carefully shared. “For starters, he’s safe. But somehow, he’s the same as ever.” Fingers twitched slightly at that, curling in slowly. “That much I can tell.” Brows furrowing slightly, especially when you recalled the relief in those carmine eyes, with something else.

The League of Villains.

They kidnapped Bakugou because he was top of their class, an easy target to play with considering his rather volatile streak that might bode well with villains.

“League of Villains,” you try, testing the weight of the villain group in your mouth. Izuku fell silent.

You didn’t like it. It felt dangerous, bitter, terrifying-

“I-It’s about your parents…”

Releasing a shuddering breath, you slumped into the table, forcing the numbing thoughts away. That is until a hand wrapped over yours, giving a gentle squeeze. You squeezed back, as thanks.

“(Nickname),” at the call of your name, you look up, meeting gentle green – brighter than emeralds, opals, more soothing that viridian or moss. “when you get the chance, talk to Kacchan. Okay?”

Carmine eyes crossed your mind again, the shocked expression turning gentle. Burnt sugar filling your senses. The fluttering beating of his heart.

“Little did you know, I’ve already had one.”

He hummed. “Yes, but you know what I’m talking about.” He says kindly, almost teasingly. You rolled your eyes at that.

“By the way,” recovering, you sat up, hands still in his. “you’re currently working on your ultimate move, right?” he nods “Well, need some help with that?”

Puzzled, it took about a few seconds until the questions sank. “Y-You don’t mean…!?”

Giggling, toothily grinning at your best friend, your eyes flashed yellow. “I might not look like much, but at least I can give a few pointers and wisdom. Also, I hope you’re okay with extra hours- “

“Of course! I’ll be in your care, (Nickname)!” he replies almost immediately, face filled with so much excitement to finally see you use your quirk at its full potential.

Mentally thinking of the days you’re not working, but hey, this was all for a good cause. “Looking forward to it, Izuku~”

Taking a break from work, you felt your phone vibrate, seeing a text from Izuku. 

To: (Nickname)

From: Izuku

[image.txt]

I PASSED MY PROVISIONAL LICENSE!!!!!!!!!!!

You couldn’t help the smile breaking on your lips, threatening to split your face in half from sheer joy and pride for your best friend. He did it!

All those days mastering his Shoot Style while dealing with your rather whimsical and unpredictable fighting really paid off!

  From: (Nickname)

To: Izuku

Congrats, you!

I’m so fcking proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Let’s celebrate, okay? Just drop by the café!

You were tempted to ask if Bakugou had passed as well, debating even to give him a text. Fingers tapped lighting through your contacts, scrolling to find his name, staring. Just staring.

Shaking hands fisting against his shirt, nose buried between his shoulder blades, taking in his scent- You locked your phone, exhaling through your nose as you closed your eyes.

“You’re being unfair to him, (Nickname).”

Just then an unknown number called you.

It had been All Might.

All Might.

The Symbol of Peace.

He had called you, urging you to come to the UA campus at the dead of night for something he wouldn’t enclose over the phone. The hero had managed to work things out for your entry into the premise, albeit, discreetly, since it’s past working hours after all.

“So, you’re Young Midoriya’s good friend, yes?” the said hero was tall, so freaking tall! Even in his skeletal form, he loomed over you like a skyscraper, and his voice was commanding, firm, yet kind.

Remembering he had asked you a question, you fumbled for a reply. “A-Ah, yes sir!” Still, to be in his presence was something. Now you understood why Izuku fanboys hard – there were so many emotions to contain!

“I’ve heard a great deal about you, Young Midoriya speaks very highly of you.” That made you duck your head, a fond smile on your lips. “It’s clear that it is a bond forged greatly through careful means.”

“That, it is.” It was a rather poetic way of putting it, but yeah.

“With that being said, I’m sure you’re also acquainted with Young Bakugou, right?”

You nearly tripped on your own footing, halting at that, glancing up in question. “Y-Yes…” Carmine eyes, the smell of burnt sugar, warm calloused hands, suddenly filled your senses.

“In the short time that I’ve known them, I’ve also come to an understanding that the boys have a rather complicated relationship,” you gulp, for some reason. “they’re both on equal footing, yet it’s not very evident to both of them. They balance each other out perfectly.” He’s not wrong, you thought, hands curling and uncurling into fists.

“W-What are you trying to say?”

Turning to you, you realized that you reached some sort of building – it was huge, almost spanning the size of USJ! maybe it was a training ground? – the hero’s gaze wasn’t one of All Might’s, his gaze was soft, weary, understanding, guilt, and, dare you say, hopeful?

“Those boys have the makings to be a great hero, are each other’s greatest rivals yet they can be each other’s greatest ally if only pushed right.”

That was an idea you would never have thought of, but one you refused to acknowledge.

Before you could ask, suddenly, your senses went on full blast – (e/c) eyes turning yellow.

Heavy blasts from afar. Devastation followed. Heavy breathing. The smell of fire- no, angered explosions. Fully mapping out the vicinity, you found two presence were at the heart of it all. These heartbeats. Izuku? Bakugou?

“As expected, your senses indeed sharpen at night.”

Confused, angered, you turned to him, yellow eyes glinting in the moonlight. “WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE!?” Their breathing, it was erratic, labored, abnormal, what was happening!?

He could only stare, expression betraying nothing. “I think I need to give the young boys some time to talk before I do it myself.”

“And what am I, some spectator?”

“I’m sure there’re things you would want to say to them as well, Young Yuroichi.”

Was what he said, but walking into the battlefield, having watched two of your childhood friends going out on each other, talking with their fists, kicks, and quirks, leaving bruised and battered, you could only feel one thing – numb.

With the fight over, your two childhood friends sat back on the asphalt ground, weary and exhausted out – physically and emotionally.

“Who else knows?” asked the ash blond, head hanging low with both arms propped against his knees.

“Recovery Girl, the principal, and…”

Apparently, that was your cue to make your presence known.

At the sound of approaching footsteps, the two boys raised their heads, eyes widening at the sight of you, in their campus, dead at night, eyes still in its dangerous yellow.

“A-ARE YOU TWO FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

They flinched at the volume of your voice, as though you bellowed it with all the air in your lungs, coming out from the shadows after All Might’s speech, knowing that it wasn’t your place to be there, but after hearing Bakugou’s voice – that was pathetic of him, even the hero hadn’t expected that.

“Y-Young Yoruichi-“

“Don’t,” the hero flinched at your voice, pinning him with your stare “get me started you skeletal excuse of a hero!” you say to him angrily, bitingly, forgetting that this man was the Symbol of Peace, the greatest hero of this generation, the hero who could easily do away with you, and the greatest hero to your two asshole of childhood friends.

“(N-Nickname)…”

Giving him a warning look, deadlier under the moonlight with your yellow eyes shining, Izuku knew better than to gulp and avoid your gaze. You then turned the same look to Bakugou, whose shoulders sagged underneath your gaze, a sense of defeat washing over him. He’s already bad in your book, he might’ve worsened it in this situation.

He was walking on thin ice, treading on it really should he wish to fix it.

“A-Ah, K-Kacchan just wanted to talk s’all, (Nickname)! B-but it ended up…um, uh…” words were failing him, especially when you are at the receiving end. Unamused. Unfazed. Unrelenting. Angered. Not even All Might could help out, too scared to deal with an angry teenager. “…uh…i-it ended with our fists….?”

Izuku had been quick to his defense, much to the surprise and annoyance of the blond. But you weren’t having it.

“Stop making excuses for him, Izuku. You’re better than that.” The green-haired boy flinched, hands dropping in defeat. “He should well know to defend himself instead of beating himself down for it, which is a far cry from that proud pompous asshole we’re both familiar with.” The ash blond’s fingers twitched at your words.

Taking a deep breath, you exhaled slowly out your nose. “You two haven’t had a proper talk since and you thought of doing it now with your fucking fists and kicks? What’re you, animals!?”

Having watched their fight and taking into account the months they’ve been in UA, seeing their performance during the Sports Festival, and hearing accounts of progress from Izuku, Aizawa-san, and the Bakugous, the two clearly have changed.

After all this time, you still felt so far from the two.

After all this time, it pained you still to see a drift between your best friends.

After all this time, just seeing finally talk to each other – in the shittiest way of their own version, it was all you ever wanted.

After all this time, the only thing you wanted was for them to finally see eye-to-eye.

After all this time, you just wanted the two to be friends again.

Weakly you fell to your knees, arms reaching for both and bringing them to a hug. The two boys were stunned, to say the least.

“I’m so glad.” Tears began to spill, your hold tightening. “I was worried about you two so much, you know. You two are selfish, stubborn, and terribly reckless in your own ways, but you two are the strongest persons I know.”

Izuku can be so out of reach sometimes, especially when he’s trying to embody himself as the current One for All user.

Bakugou had always been so far from your reach, but it pains you to know that he had been feeling shitty because he didn’t know just how to deal with his emotions.

It made you feel like the worst friend.

“You have to be more honest with how you’re feeling,”

You say you wanted to support Izuku? Part of the deal was respecting his wishes when it came to a certain ash blond he’s admired next to All Might, the person who was the embodiment of victory for him, someone he’d like to catch up with.

But you let confusing emotions – like a stupid crush and hate, cloud over your judgments.

“I’m sorry if I won’t be able to understand if I’ll have to beat it outta you guys, i-if…” hiccupping, your hold slackened momentarily, before tightening. “I’m sorry if I’m such a horrible friend. I’ll try to do more, be better for you guys. So please, don’t ever forget that…okay?”

“(Nickname)…”

A tentative hand reached out, hesitant as it patted your back. Seeing as you didn’t flinch away, the hand awkwardly rubbed comforting circles as you cried harder.

Seeing this, the green-haired teen smiled, relishing in your hug, the pain from Kacchan’s attacks, and the wisdom from his mentor.

“Okay.”

All Might could only watch three youngsters settling amongst themselves, as all friends should.

“Okay, (Name).”

masterlist • nine

[ecclais-fouoras]

Lap dance pt1

(chapter 2 of this fanfic)

Warnings: mentions of prostitution, disabilities

It was your friend's bachelorette party,

You Were all at a strip club drinking a d laughing.

Wilhelmina dressed in a purple strapless dress and yourself with a nice blue suit, the both of you had a silly hat and a crossing belt that's said 'nalla's last Happy night'. It was getting later and you where all getting more tipsy by the minute.

When the sexy song arrived you knew it was time for her to have fun. As the women on stage stopped dancing and walked towards the Booth you were at, you could see wilhelmina blushing and whispered in her ear

"enjoying the show here babe"

Her breath got stuck in her lungs for a second and you burst out laughing.

You suddenly stopped when you could feel the striper starting a lap dance on you, swaying her lips to the rhithm of the song.

You grew your eyes at wilhelmina and she nodded slightly. You shifted slightly as she started grinding on your thighs and picking up your hands to rest on her hips. She continued to move her body on you and turned around to face you, she was now straddling you and rocking against you with her back arched and her bra slowly exposing her boob.

She gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and you mouthed 'thank you' as she moved to do the same to wilhelmina who politely refused. Her face unreadable, you tried to see if she was okay and why she'd refused to participate. The party ended at 3:45 am and you came home later on.

You quickly got undressed and took your undershirt off. You pour yourself a glass of water and made one for wilhelmina too.

"You should drink sweetie, you're gonna get dehydrated", she took the glass but still said nothing to you.

You put on some slow beat music and made your way to the bathroom and took out the pills for tomorrow's probable headache.

"Mina do you want 20 or 40 mg tomorrow ?" She didn't reply so you poked your head out the door.

"Babe?....V?" She laid on the sofa her hand above her head.

"Mina darling are you okay ? Was it too much..? Is your back hurting ? Talk to me babe" her face soften a bit before her brows scrunched up again.

"I'm fine." You reach for her hand and kissed her softly.

"..talk to me love"

"Go to bed. And stop wondering around in your underwear. The neighborhood doesn't have to see you naked."

"Wilhelmina venable what is going on right now. Why are you mad at me ?"

"I am not mad at you"

"Yeah and I'm not gay... Babe we've been over this, you need to tell me what's going on" you sat on your heels next to her and stroked her cheek.

"I love you wilhelmina, you know that right"

"Yes"

"So what's going on babe ?"

She sat up again and looked into your eyes

"Did you like it ?"

"What"

"The striper's lap dance"

"Mina...i..."

"Just be honest with me"

"..yes"

"Were you aroused ?"

"...it's a lap dance honey that's the whole point"

"That's not an answer"

"Yes. But why are you making it so bad?"

"So she turned you on ?"

"Yes mina for God sake."

"Did you want to fuck her huh?"

"No"

"Don't lie to me y/n"

"I'm not, yes I liked it, yes it turned me on, but that doesn't mean I wanted to fuck her."

"How come?"

"The body doesn't always answer the mind wilhelmina. Your brain doesn't always control your physical reactions. That's why You can be aroused in dramatic situations."

"Since when"

"Since you're a kid mina. There's a reason why small boys laugh when you change their diapers. And why little girls grind on their bikes. And it only increases as you grow up."

"And what does this have to do with that happened at the strip club"

"I thought you were fine with what happened at the club. Mina we talked about this, and I made sure you were okay with it. "

"I was until she started letting your hands touch her."

"Babe...it was just an act. She knows she'll never see me again. And she sees people like us every night."

"You didn't seem to be acting the way your were horny"

"I wasn't 'horny' as you said it mina, but yes, a woman gives me a lap dance in lingerie, im a lesbian wilhelmina, yes I was aroused. But that's not the real problem right ?"

"I...what are you saying"

"There's another reason your upset. I watched you during the dance, you weren't upset I was enjoying it. There is something else" you place your hands on her lap

"..mina, you know I love you, I only want you, you're the only one I need, i only enjoyed because you were watching me"

"..yes"

"Me enjoying the lap dance wasn't the problem wasn't it ?"

"No"

"What was it then honey"

"...y... you're going to think it's ridiculous"

"I would never think that about something that's making you this upset"

"..i...I'll...I'll never be able to give you one."

You chuckled slightly shocked at her words.

"See I told you you'd make fun of me"

"No..no...no babe it's just...I wasn't expecting that...I don't understand why it got you so upset, it's not a big deal, i don't need lap dances"

"But you enjoy them"

"But I don't need it, at all. And especially in my sex life."

"...be honest with me, do I make your...sex life boring, are there things you miss because of me?" You cupped her cheek

"Hey...hey...hey no. Babe I'm very satisfied with my sex life. . I'm not missing anything, I get to have sex with you, and I don't care about how, or with what, or in which complicated position. I just want to be in sync with your body, make you cum, hold you close. That's it. That's what gets me off. Not the toys, not the poses, or dances. Just your pleasure, All I want is you"

"...but I'd like to give you a lap dance, or a striptease for you, at the bar I could see your face, and the way you looked at her body. I can't help but want that too."

"Wilhelmina, i look at you like this too, not in the same exact way obviously, cause you're mine, my beautiful and sexy piece of ass."

She laughed and it sent butterflies in your stomach.

"Besides Giving lap dance all day isn't that fun, and it really exhausting"

"How do you even know ?"

"I just do wilhelmina"

"Y/n...? I told you why I was upset, it's your turn."

"...well before I knew you, I worked at a strip club"

"You what ?"

"I used to be a stripper V"

"Why ??!"

"Because I didn't have any money, no friends, no place to stay. It was what put food in my stomach and the end of the day"

"Oh god...babe...how long did you stay like this ?"

"Two years and a half without my apartment and 6 month with it. As soon as I got a roof over my head everything became kind of easier"

"Where'd you stay before that ?"

"Every where, outside in a small street most of the time. If i was lucky I would find an abandoned house to sleep in"

"...oh god...how old were you ?"

"It was when I arrived in the us, so probably 17 and a half ? Yeah, almost 18...it may not have been the greatest period of my life but it was still better than what I lived back in russia. The stripping part wasn't so terrible, my boss was a nice lady, and she took me in even though she didn't have the legal right to, and it saved me from having to...let's Just say she helped me a lot." She kissed your cheek as a reassuring gesture.

"Y/n from having to what ? You're scaring me"

"Well...when she met me, it was because one of the girl I worked with before Introduced her. Wilhelmina i didn't have any other options except selling drugs but that could have gotten me in too much trouble so I sold... something else, the only thing I knew how to do." She stroked your hair to help you continue.

"I guess you could say I was a real bitch huh. "Why would I  ever say that y/n"

"Mina I was a whore. A litteral prostitute, I sold my body to anyone who'd give me a good price. On the streets, roads or forests. It's what got me out of russia, out of france and here today. I build myself on sex work."

"That doesn't define who you are today, it doesn't make you any less legitimate in your current job. And it doesn't even begin to make me love you any less y/n"

"Thank you darling, it means a lot to me"

You held each other tightly, her hands rubbing your back. After a few moments you broke off the embrace took her hand before leading her upstairs, to your room and put her to bed.

"I'm not showered honey" she made a move to stand up but you guided her back down

"It doesn't matter, just take that off and let me cuddle you."

"Alright, sweet dreams y/n"

You fell asleep shortly afterwards, snuggled up, together, your hand in her hair, her breath on your neck, lips grazing your skin.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Dinner at the Demers

(Story Post)

“Here we are,” Fay said pulling up the driveway. He parked and smiled to Theo. “Let me get your door.” “I got it,” Theo chuckled, opening his door and getting out himself. As his case worker, Fay had been helping Theo a lot with talking out his feelings around his pregnancy. The merman was more than friendly and Theo always felt comfortable around him, even when it came to very personal things like body dysmorphia or feelings of loneliness. Theo had found that he and Fay had a few things in common, like the fact that they'd both left home to pursue their careers. After just a few sessions with him, Theo liked to consider the merman his friend and was very happy to be invited over to his place for dinner. “Thanks for having me,” Theo said as he followed Fay to the front door. “I don't get out much, especially now.” “It's no problem,” Fay said. “Dari was glad to hear you were coming. He has a habit of taking group members in under his wing. Camilo's like a son to him now.”

“I'm pretty sure I'm older than Dari…” Theo said. “You're the same age actually,” Fay stated. Theo blinked. “He's thirty?!” “Looks can be deceiving,” Fay said. “He looks like he's twenty at most,” Theo stated. “Is he aging backwards?” “It's a little complicated but it isn't my place to explain,” Fay said. “Let's just say his body needs time to catch up.” “Okay, but, like…” Theo rubbed his neck. “I'm gonna have a hard time not thinking about that.” “If you get him in the right mood, Dari will tell you whatever,” Fay assured. “Anyway, we eat a lot of fish in this household, but I understand someone in your condition might prefer something safer so we also have chicken. What do you prefer?” “Oh, fish is fine,” Theo said. “Dr. Aias said there really isn't any diet restrictions for me, so long as I eat healthy for myself. I can smoke and drink if I want. The baby's not going anywhere. I don’t smoke. Haven’t really touched alcohol either… Still feels kinda wrong.” “Fair enough,” Fay unlocked the door and let them inside. “Oh, don't let the cat out.” “Huh?” Theo looked down to try and see if any animals were at his feet but he then realised he couldn't see his feet at all and a second later, a cat dashed out from under him and onto the porch. “Ah, sorry Theo, I wasn't thinking,” Fay said. He managed to catch the feline and pick her up. “This is Slippers. She's very curious and friendly.” Theo offered a hand to sniff and then pet the cat on the head. “She's very cute.” “I got her as a gift for Dari a while back,” Fay said. “He's very protective of her so even though we don't get much traffic out here, she's best as an indoor cat.” “Got it.” “Come meet the kids,” Fay said. “Twins should be down for a nap right now, but otherwise, trouble should be about.” It didn't take long until the first few heads popped out to see them. “Papa!” one child yelled, flinging themselves around Fay's waist. Another just stood there and pointed at Theo. “Baby belly!” Theo flushed red. “Uh, yeah...” “Otter, pointing is rude,” Fay said, pushing his son's hand down. “Apologise to my friend Theo.” “Sorry, my friend Theo,” Otter said, still just staring up at the man. “It's fine,” Theo assured. “Siv, mon poussain,” Fay said to the other boy, sliding a hand between his side and his son to pry him off. “Papa can't move if you're hugging so tight.” “I missed you,” Siv whined. “I missed you too,” Fay said, petting his son's head. “Where's Daddy?” “Green room,” Siv said, pointing to the back of the house. “Greenhouse. And your sisters?” “Um... Ari and Kat with Milo and Zoe with Daddy and the babies sleep.” “And do we remember the babies names?” Fay asked. “Um...” “I do!” Otter said quickly. “I know you do,” Fay said patting Otter's head. “I want Siv to remember. They're a little harder.” “Oh.” Siv racked his brain. “Uh, Anna and...” He looked at Otter who was signing to him. “Isa...belle?” “Annabelle and Isabelle, that's right,” Fay approved. “Next time, no cheating. Get your big brother and let's meet in the greenhouse, okay?” Siv looked at Otter and then grabbed his arm. “Specifics... Both of you get your eldest brother, understood?” Fay rephrased. “Yeah!” Otter said, letting go of his father and taking Siv's arm to go get Milo with him. Fay took Theo outside to the back of the house. Theo was immediately impressed by the spacious yard, with a pool as well as a relatively large greenhouse. Inside, there were rows and rows of vegetables and flowers growing. Dari was found between the leaves, dwarfed by his own six-foot-tall tomato plants. Zoe was toddling about at his feet and grabbing any ripe tomatoes she could get her little hands on. Dari looked upset when he heard Fay and Theo entering. “Zoe, tomatoes in the basket, bunny,” he instructed as he pulled off his gardening gloves. Zoe completely ignored him and just kept grabbing tomatoes, ripe or not and trying to put them in her mouth. “My love,” Fay said, stepping up to his husband and wrapping his arms around him. Dari took his sun hat off and wacked Fay over the arm with it. “You should've reminded me Theo was coming over! I would've started dinner early.” “I told you this morning. What more reminders do you need?” Fay asked. “And that's not a jab, I want you to know.” “...Maybe, an hour before you leave work,” Dari said. “It takes two hours to make dinner?” Fay asked. “It can!” Dari said. “It allows me time to prepare. Now a guest will have to wait with us.” Fay kissed his forehead. “I'll make dinner. You can do your thing. Hang out with Theo.” “Hi, Theo,” Dari finally said, acknowledging his guest. “I'm sorry about this.” “You really have nothing to apologise for,” Theo said. “I don't mind waiting to eat. I had a big lunch.” “Come here,” Dari waved Theo over. Theo obeyed, going over to Dari. “Your garden is amazing. I feel like you never have to get groceries.” “That’s the idea,” Dari said, nodding. He hovered a hand over Theo's stomach. “Can I touch?” “Sure. You're not the first.” Dari placed his hand on the protrusion and rubbed softly. “Aliens, right?” “That's right. Though, they’re not big enough to feel or anything…” “I'll go start dinner,” Fay said, leaving them be. “Were you abducted?” Dari asked. Theo shook his head. “No. Well, not really. Not in the traditional sense. I was...visited in my dreams.” “That's different...” Dari pondered. “Different?” Dari took his hand back and patted his own chest. “I was abducted. I had children for the aliens, each ripped from me the moment they were born. Or even before.” Theo frowned. “I'm so sorry... That's terrible.” Dari shrugged. “I don't really...feel anything from it anymore. It's like a part of my life I won't get back so why should I lend it any feelings?” “I mean, I guess that's good...” Theo considered. Dari suddenly lifted his own shirt, revealing his slightly distended and scarred stomach. “You see this ‘X’ scar? They implanted an artificial womb inside me and a ‘gamete converter’, which basically steals my DNA and turns it into egg cells... In a way, I stole it from them... I was able to make my children with it, so...it's like...not all bad.” “...Why are you telling me all this?” Theo asked. Dari pulled his shirt back down. “I don't do well in groups but when I heard your situation, I knew I had something in common and I feel like everyone needs people they can relate to for support. I want you to know that I'm here and, at least on the non-consensual alien pregnancy level, I understand more than most people will ever understand.” Theo smiled a bit. “Oh. Thank you. I guess you're right.” “If there's ever anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to contact me,” Dari said. “And don't for a second think you have to forgive them for doing this to you. I haven't.” Theo nodded slowly. “...Um, so Fay mentioned you and I are the same age?” Dari tilted his head. “Are you thirty?” Theo nodded. “You just... You look so young.” Dari put his hands on his hips. “Why, cause I'm short?” “No, well, um...” Dari looked away and started meddling with some cucumber. “I was abducted when I was fifteen. This thing inside me synthesised a chemical similar to estrogen so I didn't really have a chance to finish puberty until I got back... I'm on hormone therapy now. I was supposed to be, ever since I got back, but I couldn't really do it while pregnant five times, could I?” “Five times?” Theo asked. “I thought you have eight kids.” “Twins exist, Theo,” Dari said. “Fay carried Otter and Milo was born well before I got back to Earth.” “But, wouldn’t that—” Theo was cut off when a big red beast of a person came bounding outside carrying two little girls with him and with Siv and Otter at his heels. They came inside and the small children immediately dispersed to go look at the plants and pick anything that looked ripe enough to eat off the stem. The giant red man went directly to the adults and loomed over them, his head nearly brushing the ceiling. Theo was shocked beyond belief and froze up immediately. “Milo, my biggest boy!” Dari cooed wrapping his arms around his son's waist. He was two or three heads shorter than Milo and could barely see above his chest. “Milo, this is Theo. He's a friend.” Milo put the girls down and waved to Theo, before signing to his father. “Milo says he really likes your hair,” Dari said. “I think it's because it's a colour he can actually see well. He’s a bit colour blind.” “Oh, um. Tell him thanks for me?” Theo requested. “Tell him yourself. He can hear you, he just can't speak like us,” Dari explained, happily patting Milo's chest. “He's my big growly boy...” “Oh! Okay, thanks Milo,” Theo said, running a hand through his own hair. “I need to dye it again soon though.” Milo nodded, smiling and signed again. “He thinks you look cool with the roots,” Dari said. “It’s almost like Fay and Ari’s hair. You’re like an honorary merperson.” Theo smiled. “Thanks, but I think Fay pulls off two colours much better than I do. It’s not even blended.” Milo signed again to Dari but Dari didn’t translate and just signed back. Milo looked a little upset and then signed again. “Milo wants to compliment you on your pregnancy,” Dari said. “I told him it might not be appropriate but he insisted.” “That's cool. Thanks, Milo,” Theo said, trying to stay calm in front of the seven-foot-tall red man. “How um, how old is he?” “Twelve or thirteen, we think,” Dari said. “Hard to say.” “You don't know?” Theo asked. “Yeah, well... They weren't really handing out Earth calendars aboard the sex trafficking space ship, so I really don't know when he was born,” Dari said. “We use the day that he came home to us as his birthday.” “That's really... That's some crazy stuff that happened to you, Dari,” Theo said. “I'm so sorry.” “Don't be. It was years ago.” “But really, you talk about it so casually. You know, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” Dari patted Theo’s shoulder. “It happened. It was terrible. It's left me physically, mentally and emotionally scarred for life. But that's all it is. Scars. I can't do much about it. All you can really try to do with scars is put lotion on them or tattoo over them. I'm tired of doing that, so I just wear them. The nightmares come less and less. My physical scars don't hurt anymore. When I tell my story, I can detach myself from it. I don't let it bother me.” He patted Theo's cheek. “Oh, but if it bothers you, I won't talk about it.” “Oh, no, no. I don't mind,” Theo said. “Thank you for opening up.” Dari sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Of course, you don't have to share either if you don't want to. But I am curious... You weren't abducted, but you also don't strike me as the type of guy who hangs around alien bars. No, wait. You mentioned dreams? How does that work?” “It's kind of embarrassing...” Theo said. Dari lifted his own shirt and patted his stomach. “Looking four months pregnant for the rest of your life is embarrassing.” Theo proceeded to tell Dari everything, how the celestial apparently impregnated him in his dreams and how on the first day, he grew so rapidly. Dari listened intently and when he was done, offered up his sympathy and advice. Theo mentioned Henderson, but only as a friend helping him out. He didn't mention that they'd slept together because he still didn't know what it meant yet. They chatted a little more for a while until it was dinner time and they headed on inside. Theo enjoyed his time at the Demers house. The food was good and there was nothing but energy in the dining room as they ate. Siv took a liking to Theo in particular and spent most of the meal telling him about his favourite frog he found the other day. Fay later expressed to his guest how delighted he was to see Siv opening up so easily with Theo since he was apparently the shiest child. This made Theo feel quite a bit better about having to listen to ‘hop hop hop’ and ‘ribbitty ribbit’ over and over. At the end of the night, Fay drove him home. He welcomed Theo to their house any time and Fay would be happy to drive. Theo thanked him for hosting him and then got himself ready for bed. He was exhausted from just being around so many children at one time and was very glad that he would not be dealing with anything like that for himself any time soon.