#eva writes occasionally

[eideticmemory]

LATE NIGHT TALKING | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

The best man and maid of honor hooking up? How cliche!!

Word Count: 8k

Warning/Includes: Ridiculous amounts of flirting. Very “omg just fuck him and get it over with” vibes. The wedding of a fictional couple that I got way too invested in! Smut! Named after this song because I was listening to it when I got the request lmao.

Shout out to Matthew for literally being in someone’s wedding while I was writing this. I love you, baby ❤️

Hattie Welsh is a city girl. She was born and raised downtown where she would walk herself to school during the week and had a route for maximum weekend shopping. An only child to two parents, a dad who stayed home when it was Not the norm, she got anything and everything she ever wanted. Her dad would meet her on the front porch with her bike after school and they'd cruise around the neighborhood. On weekends, all three of them would take the 10 minute drive to the local park where they'd bike the same 8 miles every Saturday. At the end of the trail was an ice cream shop. Birthday cake was her favorite. She'd get three scoops in a cone but her dad would always end up finishing the last scoop for her.

It was memories like these that inspired Hattie to use her business degree to open an outdoor supply company. She named it after her parents. Alan & Eva's Co-op. It started very local. But Hattie was always good with promotion. She had an excellent marketing team and connections formed around the state. A year into business and Alan & Eva had three locations.

With this sudden growth, Hattie had to seek out more intensive financial advisement and she requested the services of LF Corporation - financial consultants of companies like North Face and REI.

This is how she met Cole Briggs.

Cole was sent to meet with Alan & Eva's CEO. He knew her name, he knew her qualifications, he knew the context of their meeting. He did not know how gorgeous she was so he was immediately caught off guard. His palms were sweaty by the time they shook hands.

"Oh, wow!" he remarked as he saw the bike mounted on her wall. "A Schwinn? I had the same one as a kid but in green!"

"Oh my gosh, yes! That's actually my childhood bike!" she beamed. She leaned over her desk with a bright smile. "I've kinda outgrown it."

He laughed, "I grew up in Pullen Park neighborhood so my friends and I would ride the trail at-"

"Warren park?" she gasped. "My parents and I used to go every weekend, still do!"

"No way! Where-where are your parents?"

"Downtown, near the natural science museum."

"Ah, yeah, yeah. We didn't get downtown often but we would occasionally have family dinner nights at Kaleidoscope."

"Oh, we love kaleidoscope. The lobster-"

'Mac and cheese! Are you kidding? I can inhale it in one bite. Sometimes my dad would pick it up for me on the way home.”

She cackled. She looked at him lovesick. "How have we never met?"

"What high school did you go to?"

"Hollis. You?"

"Ah, okay. I went to the Day School."

"Ooh, fancy pants."

Blush crept over his face and flustered, he set out his briefcase and took a deep breath. "So you're looking into financial assistance for all three locations?"

She stared at him for a moment, "That's right."

And that was it.

Immediately after Cole left the room, she called you. Her best friend, her confidant, her person. You had your hands busy at work so you tucked the phone between your ear and shoulder, “Hello?"

"[y /n]! Hi, you busy?"

"Uh, a little. But I can chat. What's up?"

"I think I just met my husband."

You paused. "Okay, I'm not busy."

Cole proposed while they were on a hike. A week before, he had asked for your blessing. He said, "You'll be the first one she calls so I just didn't want you to be surprised."

Though, when she facetimed you to show you the diamond rock, you still pretended to be surprised.

A formal ask to be her maid of honor was completely unnecessary. You were born to do it. Who else would it be? Still, she made you the cutest basket, filled with perfume, a travel mug, some candles, some candy. You happily accepted.

And happily planned her engagement party and bridal shower and bachelorette party. You got the dress she wanted you to wear. And when the weekend finally arrived, you traveled nearly an hour into the country to get to the wedding venue.

10 acres of privately owned land sequestered down a dirt road. The ceremony site was a simple platform with an arbor placed in front of rows of benches. Surrounded by trees. Hiding right beside it is a wooden home designated for the newlyweds. The reception site is about a mile away, covered by a tent. There is a garden of roses and daisies. Further down the property is a large barn with rows of tents. It is absolutely everything Cole and Hattie wanted. It is so them.

You help set up for the rehearsal dinner. The parents of the bride and groom have arrived. Your friends and fellow bridesmaids are mingling with the groomsmen. Hattie would be so much more stressed without Opal. Opal is a an older woman, short but strong and a prolific wedding planner. She ushers the men around like pieces on a chess board and directs the caterers without so much as a glance.

As you chat with the happy couple, she calls, "Cole." It's not exactly friendly. She marches up and takes a firm hold of his arm.

"Yes, ma'am?" Cole shakes and Hattie glances over at you with a small smirk. You have to contain your laughter.

"Where is the best man? We are way behind schedule and losing daylight."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. He had to fly in but last I heard he was on the road from the airport."

"Okay, can I get an ETA on that?"

"I, uh...I don't... have one."

"Babe!" Hattie whines.

"Hey, I'm sorry! Look," he glances at all three of you, intimidated by your pressed faces. "T'll give him a call."

"Wonderful idea," Opal watches closely as he steps away, his phone in his hand, quickly pressed to his ear. She turns away from Hattie, mumbling,

"You update me on that, okay?"

"Yes, Opal," she nods and turns to you with a huff.

You giggle, "Are you sure this guy's real?"

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Okay, well," you throw your hands up in a shrug, "Can't we just start without him? It's hot and we're supposed to be eating already."

"No, we can't. It throws off the flow of the ceremony. Plus, Cole really wants him here."

"Mhm and where is this guy coming from again?"

"Matthew."

"Huh?"

"His name is Matthew."

"Okay. Where is Matthew coming from?"

"New York. I told you he's an actor."

"Yes, yes," you roll your eyes. "Surprised he could find time in his busy schedule to come to his friend's wedding."

"He loves Cole. Cole loves him. More than me, I think. They've known each other forever."

'Mhm. Quick question, does Matthew know Cole's getting married tomorrow?"

She shakes her head and laughs, beaming at Cole as he walks back over. "Hi, baby. Did you talk to him?"

"Uh...no..." he feels bad saying it. "But! I'm sure he'll be here any second."

"Cole!" it's a shriek from the distance that instantly silences the crowd. The crunching of leaves under hurried feet, rustling through the trees, "Cole! I'm here! I'm here!"

"See?" Cole says to Hattie with the brightest smile. "I told you, I told you! Matthew!" he waves.

And out of the trees comes what you can only describe as a colorful slenderman. He's tall and dressed in a sage suit, in accordance with the dress code. He nearly trips coming down the steps but he catches himself, just in time, stumbling over on the tip of his toes. The center of attention, pulling all eyes towards his entrance, which you think would annoy the bride and groom. But no, you look at them and they're just delighted. Grinning ear to ear, Cole's arms outstretched to catch Matthew in a great, big hug.

"Oh, man!" Matthew huffs. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. My flight got delayed and then I couldn't get a rental and then I got lost, I'm so sorry!" he instantly releases Cole to give Hattie a kiss on the cheek and a hug, "I'm so sorry, please don't kick me out of your wedding."

Hattie cackles, “Oh, we could never!”

You watch as his expression transfers from guilt to a sweet smile. You watch him rub your best friend's back and give her one final squeeze before his eyes cut up and accidentally meet your gaze. He couldn't help but wonder where the pretty sandals and pretty dress would lead, but once he sees your face, he can't look away. He stands up tall and takes a small step around Hattie just to get to you. "Hi," he holds out his hand.

"Hi," you smile and your hand fits in his like a glove. You only take a second to memorize the features of his face, the tip of his nose, the stubble on his chin, the light in his eyes. But it feels like an eternity.

Behind him, Hattie and Cole watch the spark catch flame. She nudges his arm and they look at each other with knowing smiles. Cole nods, "Uh, Matthew, this is Hattie's best friend and maid of honor, [y/n]. [y/n], this is my best friend and best man, Matthew."

"ly/n]." Matthew says breathlessly. "Hi."

"Matthew. Hello, nice to meet you."

"Now," he slyly puts his hand over yours to keep it in place. "That is maid of honor, right? Not matron?"

You giggle, "Yes. I'm completely and totally unwed."

"Good, good. Excellent. Love to hear it."

You giggle, again, and it's the most ridiculous sound. Cole and Hattie could not enjoy the show any more. "You two will actually be walking down the aisle together," Hattie says.

"Oh, wow," Matthew exclaims. "Had I known that, I would've been here way sooner."

"So not funny, dude," Cole shakes his head but you think it's hilarious.

"You're laughing?" Opal's voice cuts the laughter short. "The sun is setting, the food is getting cold and you're laughing?"

"Sorry, Opal," Cole frowns. "This is Matthew, the-"

"Matthew, [y/n], I need you two right here," she interrupts and with a hand on Matthew's shoulder, she gently pushes him to the side. She pushes him directly into you and it's almost instinct for his hands to take hold of your waist. Just as much so for your palms to fall on his chest.

"Oh no," he whispers. "This is... terrible."

You laugh and take a step back but he holds onto to your wrist, places your hand around his bicep as he faces forward.

"You feel at home being directed all over the place?" you ask, anxiously straightening out your dress.

"Um, actually I prefer to do the directing."

"Oh, have you considered wedding planning?"

"I offered to plan for these guys but they turned me down. I mean, what the fuck?"

"Well, I think that would've required you to be on time. Early even."

"Oh, then I'm out."

You cackle, a lot louder than you mean to, and once again here's Opal. "You two need to switch sides."

"Hm?"

"Switch."

"Oh."

You feel Matthew's hand linger on your back as you step around him, your hand instantly latching onto his opposite arm.

"We're so good at this," you shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, right? Right? You'd think she'd cut us some slack."

Despite all the fuss leading up to it, the ceremony rehearsal itself is only 10 minutes at most. You and Matthew are the last to make your entrance and it is an odd feeling to separate. He stands on the opposite side of the arbor and as the flower girl practices her walk, he catches your eyes and mouths: miss you.

"Wonderful!" Opal cheers. It's the first time you've seen her smile all night. Once Cole and Hattie have finally taken their places right in the center. "Absolutely wonderful. Now, if everyone will head over to the reception hall for dinner. There is a lukewarm meal awaiting you all," and she cuts her eyes at Matthew.

"Again, Opal, so sorry about that," he shakes his head. You seem to be the only one who finds it funny.

Hattie gives Cole one big kiss and turns to you, "How weird was that? Me walking down the aisle? Did I look stupid?"

You take her hands in yours, shaking your head, "You looked beautiful. It's gonna be beautiful."

She shrieks, a long "eeeek!" of excitement that ripples amongst you and your friends. The group steps down from the platform, followed closely by the groom and his party. Matthew takes the opportunity to grab Cole's arm and whisper, "How long have you known [y/n]?”

"Uh, pretty much as long as I've known my fiancée." he laughs.

"And you were... what? Just hiding her from me? Not cool."

"You were hardly in the proper condition for someone like [y/n]. She's, uh, how do I say? Very grown up. Very focused, like her best friend.”

"And now? What condition am I in now?"

"The kind of condition where...I literally had no choice but to let you meet her?"

"Fuck off," Matthew shoves him and Cole stumbles with a cocky laugh.

"Sooooo," Hattie says as she interlocks your arms. She notices you looking back and she knows exactly who you're looking for. "Little lady?"

"Yes, little miss?"

"What do you think of Matthew?"

Your stomach flips at the sound of his name. "What do you mean?"

"Don't do that."

"What? What are you talking about?"

“This was you the whole rehearsal.." she sticks her finger between her teeth and mocks your giggle, "Tee-hee. Oh, tee-hee-hee-hee.”

"I was not!"

"Oh, but you were. You're quite smitten."

"I am not!"

"He's smitten with you, too."

"Whatever," you roll your eyes. But after a brief pause, you ask, "You think so?"

Clink-clink-clink.

You watch as Hattie rises from her seat, her doting fiancé standing beside her, to give a toast. You look up at her and it's not until this moment that you realize she's getting married. Not when she tried on her dress, not when she did a practice run down the aisle. Here. Now. With Cole's arm around her waist.

"Thank you all so much for being here. We're so grateful to have all our closest friends and family by our sides through this crazy weekend. I know some of you traveled very far and some of you are probably wondering when this whole thing will just be over but," she laughs along with the crowd. "Soon. Very soon. Thank you all for being readers in our little fairytale. Particularly these people sitting up here beside us, I know my friends have gotten an earful about Cole over the years."

"What did she say?" Cole interrupts, jokingly cutting his head towards all of you which earns him a burst of laughter.

"Seriously. Thank you all. Tomorrow wouldn't be possible without you and we can't imagine any other way. So…" she raises her glass glass and, because she's the bride and everyone must obey, everyone raises theirs as well. She looks Cole right in the eye and gives him that same lovesick smile she gave them the day they met. You glance away for only a moment and Matthew is looking at you the same way.

You tilt your head at him, furrow your eyebrows.

"To you," Hattie says. "To me. To us. Cheers."

"Cheers!" you toast, looking directly at Matthew who raises his glass to you, you alone, before taking a sip.

At the end of the night, the bride and groom are meant to retire to their respective areas. Cole and his groomsmen have a cabin on the other side of the property. Hattie and the girls have reign of the barn and an array of tents just in case they're feeling particularly outdoorsy. Yet, when the time comes, you and your friends sit on the barn's porch and watch Hattie and Cole embrace each other for a long time.

"I change my mind," she tells him. "We should just spend the night together. Let's go to our tree house."

He giggles and gives her a gentle kiss, "Ah, you just wanna get in my pants."

"So?"

A cackle now, "Goodnight, future wife. I love you."

"Noooo!"

"I love you!"

"I love you!"

Hattie waits until he's out of sight, and even then, she stands there and wishes for him to come back.

"H! Come on, honey," your friend calls to her. "It's late. Big day tomorrow!"

So she reluctantly walks up the stairs and begins the process of unwinding. It's not easy. Every second something pops into her mind and she hops up, ready to spring into action. It's a group effort to reel her in. Eventually, it's just you and her, lying in a cozy bed and she can barely keep her eyes open. She's trying though.

"Okay," you sigh. "I should probably get going. You gonna be alright?"

She nods, "I'm getting married..."

You grin, "Yes, ma'am. You are. So you need to get some rest," you kiss her forehead and rise out of bed, groaning as you straighten yourself up. "You need anything?”

"Mm-mm," she shakes her head. "I'm okay. See you in the morning."

"See you in the morning."

You're one of the few who chose to rough it in a tent for the night. There's a small heater and a platform bed. It's not a whole lot but the bedding is comfortable. You snuggle in and despite all your exhaustion, you spend the next chunk of time scrolling on your phone. When you hear a faint knock on the scaffolding of your tent, you’re suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you're in the middle of the woods. Alone. Quite a distance between you and the next tent. You sit up slowly, unsure if your mind is playing tricks on you. You take timid steps towards the opening and flinch as a shadow passes by.

You hesitantly pull down the zipper and when you see Matthew wondering around, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Fuck, dude. You scared the crap out of me."

"I'm so sorry," he instantly returns and lowers himself down to your level. "I didn't mean to."

"Um..you do know this is the bridal side of the property, right?"

"Mhm. I was looking for you."

"Me?"

"Mhm. Wanna go for a walk?"

"A walk?"

"Yeah, with me?"

"With you?"

"Okay, just assume I mean everything I say from now on."

You giggle, "I just met you a few hours ago...you want me to walk some random trail with you in the middle of the night?"

"All true, yes."

You tilt your head at him, "Fine. Okay."

"Don't sound too excited."

You turn around briefly to grab a hoodie. You throw it on and step out of the opening, taking Matthew's hand as you step off the platform. He takes your hand and he doesn't let go. He'd hate to lose you in the dark.

“So,” he says as you start down the trail. Your face is gently illuminated by the lights along the pathway and he can’t stop staring. “How do you know Hattie?”

“Technically high school, but I think we were separated at birth.”

He chuckles, “Best friends, huh?”

“Oh, best friends. Went to college together, too. Lived together for a while, didn’t kill each other.”

“That’s rare.”

“I know. I don’t see her nearly as often as I’d like but that’s my girl. How do you know Cole?”

“Drama camp.”

You stop in your tracks, stop both of you in your tracks. Still, Matthew doesn’t let go of your hand. “Drama camp?”

“Yes? You didn’t know Cole was a theater kid?”

You continue walking but your face is absolutely flabbergasted. “Cole? Finance bro Cole? A theatre kid? You’re fucking with me.”

“Oh, I am not. He was quite good actually,” he laughs. “He could’ve been a star.”

“Wow…” you shake your head. “Wow. You think you know someone.”

“And then you find out he was in a summer production of Fiddler on the Roof.”

You stop again. You feel like you could fall to your knees. “Matthew. Please. Please tell me there are pictures.”

“My mom recorded the whole thing, there’s a cassette tape somewhere.”

“Oh my god!” you cackle. “You’ll have to show me.”

“Fly out to Vegas with me at the end of the weekend. I’ll show you all the good stuff.”

“Oh. You’re planning on taking me to your hometown already? To meet your mom and everything?”

“You can meet my mom, you can meet my dad, you can meet my stepparents, you can meet my sister, my brother, her husband, his wife, my nephews.”

“Woah!”

“Oh, they’d love you.”

“I just wanna see Fiddler on the Roof!”

You’re not sure how long you stay out with him. The trail lights make it seem like no time has passed at all. You fill the air with so much chatter that it’s a shock when you loop around to the barn. As you near your tent, Matthew’s steps grow smaller. Slower, following close behind you with your hand still tight in his.

“Well,” he sighs. “Thank you for accompanying me. I was scared to walk alone.”

“Oh, is that why you invited me?”

“I just thought I’d get lost by myself. Needed backup.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “You do seem quite helpless.”

“You have no idea.”

You giggle and as you step up to your tent, you’re not ready to go inside just yet. So you turn to him and he is dangerously close to you. You can feel the heat radiating from his chest.

“Well, I had a nice time,” you smile. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

It’s going to happen. You raise yourself on your toes. He takes a firm hold of your forearms. His nose touches yours. Then you hear the sharp sound of a zipper slashing open. You both flinch and look over to see your friend, poking her head of wild hair out the opening of her tent.

You bashfully step away from Matthew, crossing your arms. “Hi, Gina.”

Gina squints, yawning, “[y/n]?” She rubs her tired eyes and looks at you. Then at Matthew. Then you. Then Matthew. “Uh…what the hell are you two doing?” she smirks.

“Nothing,” you tell her. “Go back to sleep.”

She looks at you. Then Matthew. Then you. You. And she ducks her head back in.

You chuckle shyly and shake your head. Moment’s gone but he still looks pretty under the moonlight.

“It’s late,” you whisper. “I need my beauty sleep.”

He scoffs, “To get even more beautiful?” he shakes his head jokingly as he backs away. “[y/n], that’s just greedy.”

You laugh, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh, yes. You will,” he waves as he walks away. Blowing you a kiss, “Goodnight, [y/n].”

You wait until he's out of sight, and even then, you stand there and wish for him to come back.

“Ahhhh!” Hattie screams once you rise in the morning. You step into the barn, groggy and sluggish, but when you see her rushing towards you, you can’t help but smile. “Hi! Good morning!”

“Good morning, beautiful bride!” you give her a tight hug.

“We’re having a little breakfast. Here’s your mimosa.”

You glance down at the glass, taking it from her hesitantly, “It’s eight in the morning?”

“Hey, everyone has to do what I say today!”

“Okay, okay,” you take a quick sip and she beams, sitting down beside you at the table.

You fill your plate with food and seamlessly fall in conversation. None of it about the wedding, ironically. You have the rest of the day for that. Right now, in this moment, it’s gossip. It’s silly. It’s so relaxing that you don’t even realized you’ve finished your mimosa.

“I thought it was pretty cozy,” Gina shrugs. “Not sure what [y/n] thinks but then again she was out with Matthew all night.”

There is an immediate halt. Forks hitting the plate, a stunned silence falling over the room and all eyes on you.

“You were?” Hattie gasps.

You stutter, “It…wasn’t…all night. We-we just went for a walk.”

“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?” a friend chimes in.

“We went for an actual walk!” you exclaim. “It was nothing.”

“Ohhhh, yeah,” Gina laughs. “It sure looked like nothing when I caught you two making out.”

Instant gasps.

“We did not make out!” you insist. “We didn’t even kiss!”

“H, how do u feel about making this wedding a joint thing?”

You look down, picking at your food as your face burns red and Hattie is just grinning at you.

Across the way, Cole receives a text from his bride, saying: Ask your friend wtf he was doing last night

Cole raises his eyebrows and spots Matthew shaving in the bathroom mirror. He slyly walks in and crosses his arms. He tries his best to be nonchalant, leaning back against the wall, eyeing Matthew in the mirror, “So. You have a good night?”

Matthew furrows his brows at him, “Yeah? Bed was comfortable.”

“Mhm. And…you didn’t…didn’t sneak off anywhere?”

Matthew completely turns his body around, “You and the wife talking about me?”

“My wife and her wife are talking about you, I think.”

He can’t help but smile to himself, “Well…cool…”

Cole laughs, “What’s the plan here, dude?”

“The plan is…to see [y/n] again as soon as humanly possible.”

Cole shakes his head, breaking a smile, “You do know that this is my wedding, right?”

Matthew laughs as he pats his face clean, “Yeah but…I don’t know, I was kinda thinking we could make it a joint thing?”

Once everyone’s hair and makeup is done, it’s silly to you that you have to pretend to do it all for photos. The makeup artist holds her brush to your full glam face just so the photographer can take a shot and it takes everything in you not to laugh. But it’s what the bride wants. You and the girls get into your dresses. You twirl and giggle like a game of dress up. Until Opal announces Hattie’s entrance. Then suddenly it’s very real.

Hattie walks downstairs in her gown, a ballgown specifically. Poofy, but not too big, a corset holding up her breasts, a diamond necklace on her chest to match her earrings. Her hair is put up and curled. Her makeup is done to perfection.

Oh. She is just perfect.

It moves everyone to a fit of squeals but you clasp your hands over your mouth and just stare at her. You go to wipe the tears from your eyes but remember your makeup so you fan your face. She laughs as she walks directly to you and takes you a tight hug. The photographer captures your sobbing face in all it’s glory. Hattie will frame that one for sure.

When Hattie’s dad comes around to escort her to the ceremony site, you take her hands in yours.

“It’s not too late,” you tell her. “We can still run.”

She laughs. “You know…I thought I might for a second there but…nah, I don’t wanna. I wanna marry him.”

You have to shake your head to keep from crying, “Okay. Okay, then let’s get you fucking hitched.”

Guest have arrived. Each chair is full and the forest around them is positively buzzing with excitement. The florals accentuate the atmosphere beautifully and now all that’s missing is the blushing bride.

You walk down the pathway with your friends, each of you holding up your dresses to protect them from the dirt. Your dress is by far the shiniest. Though all of yours are a variation of green patterns, yours is solid and laced with golden glitter tulle. The maid of honor must stand out. Matthew catches sight of you immediately but not just because you’re the maid of honor, not just because you’re shiny. But because it’s you.

And you look amazing.

It’s like everyone and everything around you fades away. Like he’s watching you walk towards him in slow motion. Your hair flowing in the wind, your lips stretching out into a smile just for him. When you step up to him, he has to take a moment because you just smell so good.

“Wowww,” he breathes out. “Look at you.”

You blush, “Look at me? Look at you!” you don’t even think about it, you just touch his clean shaven face. Run your knuckles over the smooth skin and he revels in it, closing his eyes for just a second. “You clean up nice.”

“Thank you. I only do it when absolutely necessary.”

You laugh and lean into him a bit, totally fixated until you notice the other bridesmaids watching you both from the sidelines. You cut your eyes at them and take a step back. You’re grateful when Opal comes in with her iron fist, arranging you all in order and demanding you stay there.

The music starts, you take a deep breath. You gave Matthew’s arm a squeeze, “You remember anything from rehearsal?”

“Nope, not at all. Just winging it.”

There is not much to say about the ceremony itself except that everyone - everyone - is in tears by the end. It is only thirty minutes but after it all, Cole and Hattie are married and nothing has ever felt so right.

Matthew links your arms as you make your exit behind the newlyweds and you can help but laugh at the tears staining his cheeks. You grin as you wipe them away with your thumb.

Pictures.

So many fucking pictures. So many poses. So many arrangements. So many beautiful backdrops to stand in front of and smile and live in awe of the bride and groom. Eventually, Cole and Hattie go off to take their own portraits and unsurprisingly, you wind up eating a plate of hors d'oeuvres with Matthew.

“You know her?” he asks you, nodding his head towards a guest who stays seated, fanning herself with her wedding program.

“Yeah, that’s Mia. We went to college with her.”

“It’s, like, not that hot out here, right? Am I crazy?”

“Asshole,” you swat his arm. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh…oh. Oh, she is?”

“Yes!” you giggle. “You just can’t tell because she chose the poofiest dress to wear today.”

“Oopsie,” he cringes. “Hey, is that something you might consider?”

“Hm?”

“Getting pregnant?”

You nearly choke on your bite of food but promptly clear your throat, “What the fuck? Is that a threat?”

“No. No, it’s an offer,” he grins.

You shake your head at him, ducking your hesd down so he can’t see your heated face. Your smile. “You have your speech prepared?" you ask him.

"Speech?"

"Uh, yeah. Your best man speech?"

"I was supposed to write a speech?" he exclaims.

Your jaw drops in shock and horror and you're dangerously close to scolding him until you see a smirk form on his face.

'That's not funny!"

"Of course I have a speech. You think I'm nuts?"

"Yes!"

"I have a speech prepared that is going to bring absolutely everyone in attendance to tears. They might as well go ahead and pass out the tissues now."

"Oh, real confident there, huh?"

"My speech is gonna kick your speech's ass."

You cackle, "It's not a contest, you freak. We're declaring our love for our best friends and their new spouse!"

"Sounds like you're nervous. Sounds like you can't take the heat."

"What heat? You know what? I'm not doing this with you. I'm gonna deliver my speech and as long as Hattie loves it, I'm content."

He nods, “…bawk-bawk-bawk-bawk."

"Stop it!"

"[y/n]!” you hear from behind you and you whip your head around. Hattie is running up to you, dress lifted, feet fast. "[y/n]!"

You run right to her, catching her in your arms as you collide, "What? What is it? What's wrong? What are you doing? You're supposed to be getting ready for your grand entrance!"

She huffs, catching her breath, "I know. I will. I am, whew..." she catches her breath. "I just had to tell you," she pants. "I just got fucked in my wedding dress!"

"Oh!" you cover your mouth to conceal your burst of laughter. "Oh my god! I thought this was a classy party!"

"Well, we wrote it into the schedule. We even finished with three minutes to spare. Both of us!"

"Oh my god!" you repeat, hunching over in laughter as she runs off.

You and Matthew hadn’t prepared anything especially elaborate for your reception entrance. But the DJ makes the best man and maid of honor sound like such a big deal that you have to do something. Anything. And utimately, he just ends up twirling you around in front of him. Your dress flows through the air, this wide smile on your face and he so casually wraps his arms around you to prevent you from tripping in your heels.

Seriously. Could you two make it any more obvious?

Cole and Hattie are greeted with an uproar of applause and cheers, the photographer right in their faces, an outpour of love coming from all around them. You clap your hands incessantly and right in your ear is Matthew cheering, his hands on your waist, your back against his chest like it’s no big deal.

You sit down to eat with your friends and it’s one big round table of alcohol, gushing, yelling and laughter. Matthew’s called up to give his speech and he makes sure to walk by you on his way up. “Watch and learn,” he whispers.

You shake your head, roll your eyes, but you’re watching him. You’re watching the way he instantly takes control of the room and radiates this light under the night sky. You’ve got to give it to him. It’s a good speech. From beginning to end, it’s captivating. The emotional cadence in his voice ripples across the room and there is actually, literally a box of tissues being passed around.

He’s applauded by every guest and he immediately runs up to Cole and Hattie to give them a tight hug. He walks over to you and holds the microphone out for you, “Beat that.”

You eye him as he walks off and the giddy smile on your face quickly disappears when you make eye contact with Gina. She pinches her fingers and knocks her hands together, puckering her lips and making kissing sounds.

“Stop it,” you whisper.

You’re not as used to the spotlight as Matthew so when you stand up in front of everyone, you freeze for a moment. You struggle to get the words out. It’s not a contest, but you’re already losing. So you look at Hattie, the one person you are doing all of this for. It makes it a lot easier to just, speak your truth, “Hi. I’m [y/n] and Hattie is my very best friend.”

Hattie’s a mess instantly.

That’s the fun part about being the bride’s best friend. You know all the best parts of her relationship. You also know all the worst parts but those don’t need to be spoken today. You know how it’s made her happier, stronger, glow in a way she never thought possible. You know better than anyone that this is where she’s meant to be and who she’s meant to be here with.

She can hardly wait one second after you finish to run up to you and give you a big hug. She squeezes you so tightly that you think she’ll never, ever let you go. You escort her back to the sweethearts table and throw a smug look towards Matthew’s way. He puts his hands up in surrender. You win.

After a while, when the grandparents and kids have left and the hour for the fun adults has arrived, you’re just buzzed enough to dance. And you do. You let Hattie shake her ass on you a bit and for a while, you’re just girls again. No one’s wife, no one’s employee. Just girls. It wears you. You take a seat just to down the rest of your wine and catch your breath.

“You all danced out?” Matthew asks as he approaches you. He holds out his hand, “Or you got one more left in you?”

You tilt your head, drunkenly smirking at him, “I think I can squeeze you in.”

“Yeah?” he pulls you to your feet and into his arms. “Squeeze me into where?”

You giggle. You shamelessly fall into his chest, “Take me to the dancefloor.”

He does, he lead you right to the center. He puts his hands on the small of your back and cradles your hand against his chest. He breathes in the scent of your hair and sighs.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do once I have to part from you tomorrow.”

“Just put me in your pocket,” you whisper. “Take me to the big city.”

He chuckles, pulls you closer, putting your bodies flush together. “I will, in a heartbeat. Just say the word.”

You grin. You stare into those beautiful eyes of his and inhale the center of his chest and exhale with a soft hum, “The word.”

He smiles. You smile. You take a look around and then you two make your exit.

Off to the side, the bride and groom are slow dancing. The rest of the world has faded away. Though their feet are a bit uncoordinated, everything feels properly in place.

“Sooo,” Hattie puts her nose to his. “You’re thinking the same thing I am, right?”

“Thaaaat we have three more minutes of fun time? You wanna go now?”

She cackles, “No! About Matthew and [y/n].”

“Ohhh, right. Them. You were right. I owe you five bucks.”

“Mhm. For the rest of your life.”

He smiles softly, rubbing her back. He looks around the area and furrows his eyebrows, “Where…are Matthew and [y/n]?”

Hattie giggles, singing, “I know where they are.”

“No…” Cole gasps. “No…you think?”

She shakes her head at him. Sweet, dumb Cole. “Oh you are just so cute!” she kisses his nose.

In the solitude of your tent, Matthew stands behind you and slowly unzips your dress. He plants soft kisses on each spot of your skin as it’s revealed and you hum under your breath at the gentle contact. His hands latch onto the thin straps and pull them over your shoulders. He kisses your neck and runs his hands over your chest as he pushes the dress down your body. All that’s left of you is a strapless bra and seamless panties that he sticks his hands in. You step out of them and turn to face him.

You touch his face and look at him with these hooded eyes, smiling softly as you push his jacket off of his shoulders. You undo the buttons on his shirt and touch all over his exposed chest. He nuzzles his nose into yours as you take off his pants and he falls back on the tiny bed, letting you pull them off his legs.

He stretches out his legs but his feet hang off the edge so he bends his knees, “I don’t think I fit,” he chuckles.

You grin as you casually straddle his lap, running your hands over his arms. “We’ll just have to make you fit,” you whisper.

He gives you the faintest little whimper, leaning in to you with his mouth open. And just like you had meant to last night, finally, you kiss him. You kiss him. You touch his tongue to yours and place your hand on his throat, engulfing his entire mouth in yours. Both of you release these deep, guttural moans and Matthew gasps as you roll your hips on him.

He grips onto your waist, readjusts to get the right angle and you can feel him getting hard between your legs. It's almost juvenile, the way you both get so hot from dry humping. The way your mouths are so hungry that there's no coordination.

There's moments where you go in for his lips and catch his cheek instead and he pushes his face into yours so quickly that he only catches your bottom lip. He goes to grab your hair to keep you in place but he doesn't want to mess it up so he holds the back of your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, take a tight grip of his hair and lean your entire body on his. There, the friction is perfect and you moan directly into his mouth.

Matthew shifts his focus to your jaw, gently nibbling on the skin from your ear to your neck as he unhooks your bra. You whine quietly, rocking your hips against him and leaning your head back to expose your throat. He wants to fucking bite you. He has the quickest impulse to sink his teeth into you but he doesn’t want to leave a mark so his hands land harshly on your ass as he groans in your ear. You gasp, your back arching and you think: fuck this.

You put your hand on his chest and push him back on the bed. He lets you but he whimpers. He wants to be kissing you. Needs to be kissing you. He looks up at you with wide eyes, his jaw dropping when you free his cock from his briefs. He licks his lips, nodding, begging, “Mm…mhm, mhm, mhm, mhm.”

You giggle at him, but that giggle is cut quickly by the ease in which his cock slides into you. You both gasp and he catches you as you fall into his arms. You feel just as good as he thought you would. Better. Even better. You watch his eyes roll to the back of his head and you try to kiss but your mouth are wide open. It’s mainly just heaving breathing and teeth on teeth.

He takes full advantage of the angle in his knees, keeps his hands on your ass to spread you open and push all the way into you. He likes the sound you make so he does it again. Again. Pulling all the way, pushing all the way in. Again, a little deeper. Again, a little harder. Harder and harder until you’re squeaking against each other’s lips uncontrollably, the one thing that’s louder than the sound of his skin slapping into yours.

He looks into your hooded eyes and begs, “Kiss me.”

So you do. You kiss him with a sloppy mouth and once again, there’s no coordination. You’re rocking around the tiny bed so carelessly that it might break. But even then, you wouldn’t stop. It’s hard to breathe. It’s hard to think. You just push yourself back on his cock, meeting him at just the right time that you’re entire body twitches violently.

“N-not…fuck…” you stutter against his lips. “Not…gonna…last…long…like this…mm, fuck.”

And he grins, delighted at the thought of getting you off. So quickly, so easily. Still, he pleads, “Oh…” he bucks his hips up into you. “Can’t we just…m-make it last forever? P-please…please, please, please…”

You shut him up with another kiss. You grab onto his hair and grind on him eagerly, chasing your high for what feels exactly like forever. The way the tension builds first in your thighs and then your belly and radiates throughout your entire body, you can hardly comprehend it. You tighten your grip on his hair and breathe out, “Matthew.”

“[y/n],” he breathes out and it sounds so helpless that you can only reply with a whimper. You increase your speed, your rhythm becomes sloppy but Matthew is rock solid. He cups your face in his hands and repeats, “[y/n].”

“O-oh, fuck. Oh…god…” you latch onto his wrists. You can’t take it anymore, “Mm…” and you come on his cock with a loud and visceral moan straight from the back of your throat. The way your pussy tightens around him has him matching your volume and the kiss you give him is so dirty that he will taste it for weeks.

He doesn’t stop. He fucks you through it until your body is all but convulsing. He only stops to prevent himself from coming inside of you, instead raising your hips to shoot his load all over his stomach. His knees tense up and tighten against you as the weakest groans escape his lips. You hum softly to yourself and you lower yourself down the mattress, licking the mess off his stomach as you make your way back to his lips. He’s stunned but rewards you with a kiss. He wishes the kiss could last forever. He tries his best to make it so.

But you crash on his chest, panting loudly and allowing your body to finally relax. Your head rises and falls with every heavy breath he takes.

“Let’s get married,” he huffs and you laugh, sitting up to look at him. “No?”

“Mm-mm,” you shake your head.

“Ugh…worth a shot.”

It’s so peaceful. A calm after a storm - a hurricane. Until your phone illuminates the dark space and you reach over his body to check the text. It’s from Hattie -

As soon as youre both done, my husband and i would like to make our outro! :)

“Oh, shit!” you exclaim and that’s all Matthew needs to hear.

You both hop up at lightening speed. You somehow get dressed even quicker. You rush out of the tent, nearly tripping over your feet, hand in hand.

“Wait,” Matthew says and when you pause to look at him, he fixes the clip in your hair and then he gives you a kiss. You look back at him with a smile as you run back to the reception.

You catch Hattie and Cole just in time. They are already lined up and ready to go when you two reappear. Matthew grabs Cole’s shoulder and laments, “Sorry about that, dude. I-I got caught up. Sorry.”

“Oh yeah,” Cole smirks as he keeps walking. “I can tell. Your jacket’s on inside out.”

After Matthew remedies that, you two casually clap and cheer as the newlyweds walk through the crowd of excitement. They promptly load themselves up on a golf cart and you watch them disappear into the night.

Matthew sighs, turning to you, “So…I guess our jobs are done for the night.”

You sigh in return, shrugging, “I guess so.”

“You gonna be lonely in that tent tonight?”

“God...” you shake your head. “I hope not.”

And that night, you are far, far from lonely in that tent.

You wake up together. Matthew made himself fit in that bed once again. You get dressed together. You both clean up the tent and step out together. And once again, there’s Gina, catching you in the act. She doesn’t say anything. But when she walks past you two, the tiny smile on her face says it all.

Back at the reception site, Hattie and Cole serve a light breakfast and deliver a toast that is short and sweet. Blah blah blah, thank you all for coming. Blah blah blah, we love you so much. Blah blah blah, we have a plane to Cabo to catch. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!

They go around to say their goodbyes and while Cole is distracted, Hattie intentionally saves you for last. She gives you a long hug, “Missed you last night.”

“Yeah, uh…” you blush. “I am so sorry about that.”

“Oh no, don’t be,” she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “It all went according to plan.”

“To-“ you stutter. “Hattie Jane Welsh…”

“Aht-aht!” she grins as she walks away from you to join her husband. She flashes her rings, “Hattie Jane Briggs. I already changed it on instagram and facebook!”

You jaw is dropped in absolute shock and you can’t pick it up. In fact, your mouth is still wide open when Matthew approaches you.

“So, pretty lady, what are you doing after this?” he asks.

“Got a train to catch back home.”

“Oh, a train? How far is the drive?”

“About an hour.”

“I have an hour…” he says. “And a rental car.”

A sweet smile spreads across your face. He mirrors it right back to you. You take hold of your suitcase, step over to him, stand straight up and wrap your hand around his bicep. You’ve had a lot of practice.

“Okay,” you nod. “Let’s go.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Who would be the most devastating family member infested by the yeerks in each animorphs family?

Huh. I assume parents would be worse than siblings, and within-home family would be worse than those who live elsewhere.

Tobias: Ax. For the obvious reason that, if an Animorph is a controller, the whole team is screwed.

Ax: Tobias. See above.

Rachel: Naomi, probably. Dan eventually becomes a controller in #49 but he lives out of state so he can only do so much damage. Jordan and Sara are out because IMHO you need a driver's license and the ability to carry a gun to be really dangerous in the U.S.

Cassie: Walter. As Cassie's dad he has direct power over her, and unlike Michelle he works from home. He has reason to wander into the barn at any time of day or night, without warning.

Jake: Hard to say between Jean and Steve. Tom's occasionally Jake's guardian (#21), and does have a driver's license (MM4), but he doesn't have formal power over Jake and isn't expected to know Jake's whereabouts. Jean writes, but it's not clear if she does so from home (e.g. novelist) or not (e.g. journalist). Steve being a pediatrician means he's away from the house a lot more, but MDs have enormous amounts of soft power in our society. I'd say that if Jean does her job on a home computer then she's the worst option, but that if she does it out of an office then Steve would be.

Marco: I don't think it gets worse than Eva. Peter becomes non-functional without Eva, neglecting and parentifying Marco. Eva would get by fine without Peter. Eva gets taken to monitor Peter and also fulfill Visser One's creepy mom fetish, whereas Peter being taken would just result in the yeerks doing a catch-and-kill on his scientific advancements before sending "Peter" home to resume life as usual.

[centrally-unplanned]

Della Beppin August 1996 Evangelion Feature - Scan & Takeaways

Alright, after a year and half of me procrastinating with a gravure magazine starting accusingly at me from the desk, we are live with a scan of Della Beppin's August 1996 Evangelion Feature:

To recap quickly the above post, this article came out very soon after the show finished airing and the popularity of Evangelion was becoming a cultural phenomenon, spilling out beyond the typical otaku circles. It is often claimed to be the first article in a "non-otaku" magazine to discuss Eva at any depth, and as such gained fame as a tipping point in Eva coverage. It is a 14 page spread with a complicated authorship, but best I can gather it was ‘helmed’ by Gainax founder and otaku-about-town Toshio Okada (who at this point had left Gainax and had little to do with the production of Eva, to be clear), and serves as an introduction to the show, its place in the “cultural discourse”, and whatever weird musings pop into the writers’ minds.

As I hinted at in said previous post, I would claim that despite its reputation this is not the first “non-anime magazine” to feature an article on Evangelion; there is actually a section of this spread about other magazines that had covered Eva!

This section mentions Core Magazine and TV Land, a gravure magazine and kid’s media magazine respectively (which, lol at that demo spread). Now both of those included anime-adjacent content (hentai and kid’s anime shows respectively), but were not focused on them, and their articles discussing Eva were brief. Meanwhile, Della Beppin itself frequently had erotic cosplay shoots, and even had an Evangelion shoot earlier in the year! So instead I think you can see Della Beppin’s deep dive as an escalation of content along a smooth curve of Eva coverage getting more involved and more widespread, without there being any specific breakpoint here. So the article partially earns its rep, but it probably also got a healthy boost from the "teehee" factor of it being in a porno mag. We read Playboy Della Beppin for the articles okay??

Speaking of, I did read the whole article, but I am not going to post a full translation here - it is not worth it, a bunch of the text is explaining Eva to newbies and such, you don’t care. Instead, I will draw out some sections and connect them to some of my wider analytical questions around Eva - namely how “Eva discourse” evolved over time and how it related to otaku culture. And there definitely is a lot of interesting details in here on those subjects! So let's dive in, first with my more serious takeaways and then with some silly stuff:

— Evangelion has a reputation today as an “arthouse” work, and I think the majority of people who watch it know about the abstract TV ending and the batshit avant garde content of End of Evangelion. But this article, published before End of Eva existed and when the TV “finale” was something of a surprise, really showcases that its success was nearly immediate among “otaku” fans and the brand of the show was as a gritty, mature, amazingly-animated mecha show. The TV finale was generally unpopular and that comes up many times in the feature - so much so that one whole sub-article is essentially saying “look that just doesn’t count the show isn’t finished yet”:

No Need to Evaluate a Story That Hasn't Concluded Yet I wrote this in Animage, but I'll write it again. The story of "Neon Genesis Evangelion" is not over. While some whisper that the infamous final episode was deliberately designed that way, my thinking is that it was the next best option within the constraints of anime production's fatal lack of time and staff. Because if that ending were truly satisfactory, there would be no need to remake it for the video market. I hear that orders for the video version are flooding in, and the fact that they're willingly undertaking work that would otherwise be completely unprofitable—even with orders, the profit will be reduced—is the best evidence that the creators themselves think "that's not good enough."

(The above author - Shinpei Ito, a manga artist who would later work with Anno on the Cutie Honey film in 2004 - is generally right about this fact. At the time there was some debate due to Anno’s “fuck you” interview persona that the ending’s pivot was intentional, but we know now there were huge production issues behind it at least in part)

— Another repeated motif that dives directly into the “why was Eva so successful” question is the idea of it being a TV show specifically - that there had been a draught of “good” TV for some time and Eva was a return to form. Take this comment for example:

“However, after Gundam, due to combined factors like talent drain to direct-to-video anime and co-productions, and the rise of video games, TV anime lacked vitality for a long period. Even if some character-driven works achieved some success, there was a lack of major works that created significant waves of popularity.”

Here I think you can see the aging demos at play - older otaku as a community had developed around the more mature OVAs of the 1980’s, but those are inherently niche and inaccessible to most audiences. TV was for more youth-focused fare, “declining” from its peaks in the early 1980’s (according to these writers at least, I am not casting a personal judgement), but EVA flipped the script. It being a mecha show probably helped too to capture the “this generation’s Gundam” feel - adapted to the modern sensibilities of the older audiences with its meta-otaku commentary and 90’s edginess. This older fan in another section really hits that theme home:

“15 years from the "New Anime Century" at Shinjuku East Exit to today I have absolutely no interest in discussing Eva as "a work" anymore. To put it bluntly, I don't care about "Eva" now. Instead, I care about the months of eagerly awaiting new episodes every Wednesday, thinking about things aimlessly after watching, feeling the urge to talk to others about it and making long phone calls at night, watching recorded videos until they wore out, and exchanging opinions in various places. The fact that I could experience such a daily life in 1996, not just in the 1980s, is extremely important to me.”

(This author and others call Gundam the “second impact” of anime with Evangelion as the “third impact” - Astro Boy would be the first - and it is very adorable)

— Speaking of “long phone calls at night”, the physicality of pre-digital media consumption really jumps out here as a driver of fan engagement. There are a bunch of mentions in here of things like mass groups lining up to buy the soundtrack CD on release day and such, but there is one story that stands out for its charm. When Evangelion was broadcast it aired in the Central Tokyo (Kansai) area first - if you lived outside of the region, and in the rural areas most notably, you would not be able to watch the show live. But according to one writer that didn’t stop some of them:

“I heard that fans in Fukushima Prefecture would climb every week to some meteorological station at the top of Mt. Iwaki, the only place in the prefecture where Eva could be received, and cling to the TV there for each episode. This is how a work truly becomes the blood and flesh of those who watch it. I envy this kind of experience.”

No clue if this actually happened of course, but still amazing - we have to go back, etc.

Okay the analysis crap has gone on long enough; let’s share some random anecdotes that I thought were pretty funny!

— This part is just too much of a dunk not to repost in full:

Three Major Anime Directors Comment on the Appeal of Evangelion!! You can't help but be curious about the opinions of fellow professionals. Especially when it comes to the opinions of industry giants, you just have to hear them. So, we sought out comments from Director Miyazaki of Nausicaa and Totoro fame, Director Tomino of Gundam, and Director Oshii of Ghost in the Shell and Patlabor — these three undisputed masters acknowledged by everyone — but… Director Hayao Miyazaki: "I have never seen it." Director Yoshiyuki Tomino: "I would prefer to refrain from commenting." Director Mamoru Oshii: "I've only seen about 2 episodes, so I can't really comment. My apologies." Hmm... these are truly comments befitting the masters. By the way, in an interview in "CV" Magazine’s July issue (Sakura Publishing), Director Oshii did speak about Evangelion, saying: "'Evangelion' has become a hit, right? You can tell by watching it, but it feels nostalgic. It's exactly like 'Gundam'". As expected of an industry giant!!! It seems that with serialized anime, watching just two episodes is apparently enough to understand everything…

Jeez you didn’t have to do it to Oshii like that, he gets flamed by westerners enough as it is!!

— Particularly after the final episode aired, a bunch of fans really leaned into the “we are degenerates” ironic aesthetic, and the idea of being “mentally contaminated” by the show comes up frequently. Which leads to my favorite line from the Della Beppin staff from their "Eva Events Timeline":

April 26: Della Beppin Magazine publishes nude photos of models in "Eva" cosplay. From this point on, the magazine's mental contamination became increasingly serious.

Pussy so good it triggers the Heisei Malaise…

— There is a two-page spread on the thematic connections between Evangelion and... the band The Smiths:

Go off king, you would have done numbers on Tumblr.

— A bunch of different sections focus on rumors around the show; too many to count and assuredly mainly false. I did find this one to be very amusing though:

Episode 11 is about NERV's energy being cut off, but allegedly at the script stage, there was a line saying "Nuclear power plants are great, aren't they?" when the power returned. Incidentally, this episode was written for the Studio Ghibli staff, who oppose nuclear power.

Partially because A: that is just funny, I love how Ghibli as the eco-lefties of anime is so well known, and B: Ghibli was called in to animate the episode as something of a favour if I recall correctly, so the idea of putting a “fuck you” in there to them is pretty rough! I am not enough of a “script expert” to say if this rumor has any truth to it ( @jinruihokankeikaku maybe you know better, your area of expertise!)

To wrap this up, Toshio Okada ends the entire feature himself with a very on-brand call about how mainstream anime is all garbage and “Evangelion was truly a work by otaku, of otaku, for otaku!”, which absolutely matches the zeitgeist of the times even if it is a bit lacking in substance - that’s Okada for you!

Anyway, there is of course a lot more in there but fundamentally I scanned this so it could “exist” in the record; it is special more for what it is than what it contains. But articles like these are the data that built up the experience of the “Eva Boom” that defined the success and impact of the show, so I do think it is a valuable source of diverse views on the subject. If you find your own interesting pieces, or have specific questions on the content, let me know!

[skamenglishsubs]

SRAM, I beg your fucking pardon?

Just catching up on SRAM because I've been busy, but, uh, yeah, I should be paying a lot more attention to this!

I mean, I really like what I've seen so far. They're sticking to the original beats, but they've updated it nicely, and they're making small changes that I like, that are meaningful, and that make this version of it theirs.

The cinematography is top notch, it's a very pretty remake. Also their P-Chris. But they're making great shots, and I really like how they occasionally veer into the surreal like Skam NL did.

It feels like I've written this a million times, but in the original season one, there are three scenes where both the acting and the writing is on an insane level. It's Jonas and Eva in the skatepark, after Jonas found out Eva kissed P-Chris. It's Eva and Ingrid in the bathroom, after Eva gets the threat letter. And it's Eva and Isak in the kitchen at the Christmas party.

I am anxiously curiously hopeful awaiting Sram's take on those scenes. Please knock them out of the park.

[vivsinkpot]

Hi, Vivienne! I am trying to write a story with a four-person rock band, but I am having a lot of trouble writing about how they converse/interact with each other when writing their songs. They are all in the same room coming up with the music, but I can't figure out how they would talk to each other. Any advice on this?

Thanks!

Mic Drops & Mood Swings: Bringing Your Band’s Songwriting to Life

First of all I want to extend a huge thanks to you for sending in my very first inbox request — you made my day! 🎉 I absolutely love answering questions and diving into all the creative stuff you’re curious about, so please don’t be shy. If you’ve got a burning writing question, story idea, or just want some advice, slide into my inbox anytime. Can’t wait to hear from more of you! 💌✨

Songwriting scenes can be super powerful because they reveal not just the creative process, but the personalities, tensions, and bonds within a band. When writing how band members interact while creating songs, consider these key points:

1. Showcase Individual Roles & Strengths

Each member brings something unique—whether it’s lyrics, melodies, rhythms, or ideas. Portray how they naturally take on these roles. For example, one might be the lyricist, another the melody maker, while another focuses on arrangement or beats. Their strengths shape how they communicate and collaborate.

Example:

Jax tapped out a beat on the drum pad while Mira hummed a melody. “This chorus needs your voice to lift it,” Jax said, nodding at Mira. She smiled, fingers ready on the keys.

2. Use Dialogue to Reveal Personality

Songwriting sessions often bubble with playful teasing, frustration, encouragement, or inspiration. Use realistic, casual dialogue to capture this — like interruptions, unfinished ideas, disagreements about style or direction, and moments of “aha!” discovery. This makes the scene feel lived-in and dynamic.

Example:

“That lyric’s too cheesy,” Leo teased, smirking. “No, it’s poetic!” Eva shot back, rolling her eyes.“Alright, how about we rewrite it together?”

3. Highlight Creative Tension & Compromise

Bands rarely agree on everything. Conflicts—whether subtle or heated—add depth. Maybe one wants to keep a song raw, another wants it polished. Showing their negotiation, occasional stubbornness, or compromise mirrors real-life artistic struggles.

Example:

“I want it raw, unpolished,” said Ash. “But we need something radio-friendly,” replied Sam. They stared at each other, then Sam grinned, “Okay, raw energy with a catchy hook?”

4. Describe the Atmosphere & Setting

Whether it’s a cramped garage, a cozy studio, or a sunlit living room, set the scene with sensory details — guitars tuning, coffee cups clinking, scribbled notes, late-night fatigue. This grounds readers in the space where creation happens, which is equally as important to break up dialogue.

Example:

The cramped basement smelled of old pizza boxes and sweat. Strings hummed under trembling fingers as sunlight filtered through dusty blinds.

5. Incorporate Nonverbal Communication

Bandmates often understand each other without words—exchanging glances, nods, riffs played quietly under breath, or smiles at a good line. These moments show trust and connection, or sometimes frustration and distance.

Example:

Without a word, Nina raised an eyebrow, and Max grinned back, fingers flying over the guitar strings.

6. Show Progress in Small Steps

Songwriting is rarely instant magic. Portray the gradual build—messing with chords, repeated lines, scraps of lyrics on napkins, reworking a chorus. This process mirrors real life and makes the final song feel earned.

Example:

The chorus still felt off. They rewrote the second line for the fifth time, laughter mixing with frustration.

7. Tie the Song to Emotions & Relationships

Songs often reflect what’s going on between band members or in their personal lives. Use the songwriting process to subtly explore these emotional undercurrents — unspoken feelings, unresolved tension, shared dreams.

Example:

As the melody swelled, so did the unspoken tension between them — notes filled with everything they couldn’t say aloud.

In conclusion…remember, while dialogue is a fantastic way to reveal character and drive the songwriting scene, don’t forget to balance it with unspoken moments—glances, gestures, silences, and the small details in the room. These quieter beats add depth, showing the emotions beneath the words and the unique connections (or tensions) between bandmates. It’s in the space between the lines that a scene truly comes alive.

By layering personalities, conflicts, and atmosphere, your songwriting scenes will come alive and reveal the heart of the band, not just their music.

[courtney-deserved-better]

since i don’t have time to write fics for wlw week here are some wlw headcanons! @total-drama-wlw

(if i didn’t list a woman on here it’s not bc i necessarily headcanon her as straight and more that i don’t have a specific sexuality headcanon for her in general that fits this post)

beth - bisexual and i don’t think she realizes she also likes girls until in between tda and tdwt. something about her and lindsay’s trip to paris makes her realize she likes girls and she comes out to lindsay while they’re literally in jail and lindsay is the most supportive bestie ever. beth is also sometimes a lesbian to me. as a treat.

bridgette - if she had to label her sexuality she’d probably say bisexual but i think she prefers to not use a label and just vibe.

courtney - lesbian forever and ever in my heart 💜 don’t even get me started on her (affectionate)

gwen - bisexual who’s known she’s bisexual for a while and is very chill about it until she gets her first full blown crush on a girl and then she starts freaking out (not about being bisexual, she just doesn’t know how to handle a girl crush when she can barely handle a guy crush)

heather - lesbian but doesn’t realize it at first, just thinks she’s not into guys because she’s smarter and more strategic than all these other girls who are letting feelings get in the way of a million dollars

katie & sadie - started off very boy crazy but i think over time they were more into the idea of a relationship and a partner to obsess over than the boys themselves. but they’re not ready to come out to the other person because it will make them different so they both keep up the boy crazy act until finally they’re like… wait a minute we’re both lesbians and then they probably start dating each other or something. they give me the vibe of girls who were super into dan and phil and then realized they were more into the idea of having that kind of relationship with someone of the same gender than into guys. if that makes any sense.

sierra - not sure of her exact label but she’s a girl liker in at least one alternate universe

leshawna - probably a lesbian who isn’t quite ready to come out yet, still figuring herself out and experiencing occasional attraction to men which confuses her

eva - she’s a butch lesbian to me 💜

anne maria - bisexual and chill as hell about it

jo - butch lesbian who struggles to date because she has issues with femininity but she also views other butch women as competition. girlie has a lot she needs to work out

ella - either bisexual or comphet lesbian

jasmine - bisexual and i think also poly, she’d be down to date shawn and sammy at the same time

sammy - lesbian and in the closet because she doesn’t want amy to know and bully her (amy is also a lesbian but she’ll still bully sammy)

sky - also either bisexual or lesbian comphet

axel - ive seen her as a lesbian from day one (no im not projecting because she’s the td character who looks the most like me) but bisexual axel also intrigues me. truly depends on the situation

tdi emma - bisexual but everyone thinks she’s straight. after season two when they’ve become friends again, bowie finds out she’s bisexual and needs a day to recover from the shock

julia - bisexual but heavily prefers women, refuses to show emotional weakness and therefore doesn’t date anyone for a while

millie - lesbian who always gets crushes on straight girls so she never pursues them, very pessimistic about any crushes she does get

mk - lesbian but doesn’t want to date because love is lame

nichelle - lesbian who keeps her relationships private from the media not because she’s closeted but because she doesn’t want her love life plastered in tabloids

priya - my brain says bisexual but my heart says lesbian. my headcanons contain multitudes

rr emma - she’s either a lesbian or bisexual who is so much more attracted to men that she hesitates to label herself as bi. there’s literally no in between

jen - lesbian, she and tom are wlw/mlm solidarity, they are each others’ biggest hypemen when getting ready for dates

kitty - she’s either pan or aro and still figuring that out for herself. knows she is attracted to everyone equally but doesn’t know if the level of attraction is yes or no

the geniuses - that’s just a lesbian couple

the vegans - that’s a lesbian ex-couple who stayed friends but uh. that was maybe not the wisest choice

sanders - lesbian who is either dating macarthur or knows she deserves better. idk what macarthur’s deal is in the second scenario but she would be so protective of sanders if she got a girlfriend. immediately started imagining a fic where sanders and jo start dating and it creates this big rivalry between jo and macarthur that sanders has to deal with but that rivalry turns into a friendship which relieves sanders until she realizes that they two enable each other and now she’s like “idk if this is worse”

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

Tension | Sebastian Sallow x OC #60

Happy Christmas Eve to those who celebrate (and happy holidays to those who don’t)! This chapter is my lil Christmas gift to you all before I disappear to enjoy the holidays with friends and family. I hope y’all enjoy!!

Summary: fluffy smut anddd talking about how beautiful mid sized bodies are because they deserve it!!!

Words: ~6,400

Tags: Explicit Smut, Fluff, Romance, Mutual Pining

Timeline: Early September

Read more stories about Sebastian and Evangeline

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Sebastian watched from the corner of his eye as Evangeline sat at the small desk in the corner of the cottage, her head bent low over a piece of parchment. The scratch of her quill filled the quiet space, punctuated by the occasional crackle of the fire. She’d insisted on writing the letter as soon as they got back, still damp and shivering from their moonlit swim, her determination leaving no room for argument.

The flickering glow of the hearth painted her features in soft, warm light, illuminating the delicate curve of her jaw, the gentle slope of her nose, the damp strands of hair clinging to her neck. Even now, even after all they’d shared by the lake, he couldn’t quite believe she was his.

The tension between them was undeniable, a charge in the air that seemed to hum. It had been there since they’d reluctantly peeled themselves apart on the beach, their bodies aching from the cold. Sebastian had felt it in the brush of her fingers against his when she took the towel he offered, in the way her gaze lingered on him for just a moment too long before she turned away.

And he felt it now, sitting by the fire, his damp shirt clinging to his skin as he watched her with a hunger he could barely contain. The kiss by the lake had unlocked something between them, something raw and undeniable, and now every stolen glance, every accidental brush of her hand, felt like a spark threatening to ignite.

Evangeline straightened suddenly, setting her quill aside and blowing softly on the ink to dry it. Her movements were precise, almost hurried, as though she couldn’t bear to wait a second longer to send the letter. When she finally turned, her hazel eyes met his, and Sebastian felt his breath catch in his throat.

“Done?” he asked, his voice rougher than he intended.

She nodded, holding up the letter. “I just need to send it. The owl—”

“I’ll take care of it,” he cut in, rising to his feet before she could argue. He needed to move, needed something to focus on that wasn’t the way her dress clung to her damp skin, the way her lips were still slightly swollen from their kiss. “Sit by the fire. You’re still shivering.”

Evangeline hesitated, her gaze searching his for a moment, but she relented, sinking into the chair he’d just vacated. Sebastian crossed the room, retrieving the letter and calling for the owl perched near the window. He tied the parchment securely to its leg, his hands working quickly despite the tension knotting his shoulders.

“You think Ominis will be able to get my name off the list?” Evangeline’s voice broke the silence, tentative and quiet.

“He will,” Sebastian said, his voice rough. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus on her words rather than the way her damp dress clung to her curves. “If anyone can manage it, it’s Ominis.”

She nodded, her gaze flicking to the fire, her expression distant. “I hope so. I don’t think they’d take kindly to a retraction after I already signed everything.”

Sebastian nodded absently, his mind only half on the conversation. He should have been concerned about the logistics of retracting her acceptance, about potential fallout from the Ministry, about anything practical at all. But how could he be? She loved him. Evangeline Sterling loved him, and that knowledge overshadowed every other thought clamoring for attention in his mind.

Sebastian swallowed hard, his voice strained when he spoke again. “We should probably change into dry clothes… we don’t want to end up catching a cold.”

Evangeline glanced down at her dress, still damp and clinging to her skin, and her cheeks flushed deeper. “Right,” she said quickly, standing. “Good idea.”

They moved in unison, crossing the room toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. It wasn’t until they stepped through the doorway to Sebastian’s room that the realization struck both of them at the same time. They froze, staring at the wardrobe, and then at each other.

Evangeline took a small step back, her hands fiddling with the damp fabric of her skirt. “I can... I can change in the bathroom,” she offered, her voice a little too bright, a little too quick.

Sebastian blinked, caught between wanting to agree and feeling like that was somehow the wrong thing to do. After all, they’d just kissed. Admitted their feelings. Sat pressed together in the sand.

“I—uh—yeah, you could,” he said lamely, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “If that’s what you want.”

Evangeline fiddled with the hem of her skirt, her cheeks a deep, rosy hue as her gaze darted around the room, anywhere but at him.

“I mean,” Evangeline said finally, her voice faltering as she glanced at him, “I guess it’s not like we haven’t... seen each other already.” Her words were quiet, hesitant, as though she wasn’t entirely sure of them herself.

Sebastian cleared his throat, his mind a storm of conflicting thoughts as he nodded stiffly. “Right.”

She was right, of course. The lake had stripped away layers—literally and figuratively—and yet… this felt different. More intimate. By the lake, they’d had the veil of moonlight, soft and forgiving, obscuring the finer details. They hadn’t been bare, not completely. The delicate barrier of underwear had still existed, a final thread of propriety they hadn’t dared to cross.

But here? In the warm glow of the lamp, where every curve, every scar, every freckle would be laid bare under an unyielding gaze? It wasn’t the same.

Evangeline blinked, her cheeks darkening further as she stared at him for a beat. "Right. You know what? It's fine. Let’s just—let’s just change and get it over with.”

They stood there for another moment, neither of them moving. Finally, Sebastian turned sharply on his heel, facing the corner of the room. “I’ll, uh… I’ll give you some space,” he said, his voice rough, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

His heart pounded in his chest as he stared fixedly at the wall, straining to catch the soft rustle of fabric behind him. Then her voice broke the silence, tentative and laced with a trace of embarrassment.

“Um… Sebastian?”

He tilted his head slightly, his breath catching. “Yeah?”

“I… I can’t undo the corset by myself,” she said, her words almost too quiet to hear.

Sebastian exhaled slowly, the weight of the request settling over him as he tried to ignore the heat rising to his face. “Right. Of course.”

Turning carefully, he froze at the sight before him. She stood with her back to him, her hands fumbling at the intricate laces of the corset. The dim light traced the curves of her figure, and he swallowed hard, forcing his gaze to remain respectful even as his pulse quickened.

He cleared his throat, his voice steady but soft. “Alright. Just… stay still.”

She nodded, her fingers dropping away as she clasped her hands in front of her.

Sebastian stepped closer, close enough to feel the faint warmth emanating from her skin. His hands hovered just shy of her back, unsure for a moment, before he carefully grasped the laces. He worked with deliberate precision, loosening each tie with care, his fingers brushing the fabric as he tried to ignore the pounding in his ears.

When he pulled the final knot free, the corset slackened, and he heard her release a soft, relieved sigh.

“All done,” he murmured, his voice barely audible as he let his hands fall away. He stepped back immediately, his fingers curling into fists at his sides, resisting the urge to linger.

He stiffened when Evangeline whirled around to face him. Her cheeks were a vivid crimson, and her arms were wrapped tightly around the front of her dress, holding it flush against her chest.

Their gazes met—hers hesitant but steady, his startled and searching. There was something different in the way she looked at him now, something unspoken but deliberate, as though she’d made a choice and wasn’t going to take it back.

“I…” Sebastian started, his voice faltering, uncertain of what to do with the moment stretching between them. “I’ll, uh… I’ll turn around. Give you privacy.”

“You... don’t have to.”

Her words stopped him cold.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, his gaze flicked back to her face. Her blush deepened, but she held his eyes with a quiet resolve.

“If you want to keep going,” she murmured, “you can.”

Sebastian stared at her, his chest tightening further, the words hanging in the air between them like a fragile thread, daring him to pull. His hands twitched at his sides, his mind struggling to keep up with the moment.

She was offering to let him undress her.

Sebastian could barely breathe, let alone think. He’d dreamed of this—Merlin, how he’d dreamed of this. In his quietest moments, when he’d let himself hope for something more, this had been at the heart of every fantasy. To see her like this, raw and unguarded, to be the one she trusted with every inch of herself. And now, it was right in front of him. Real.

How could he say no?

His hands lifted slowly, trembling slightly as they hovered near her shoulders. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he murmured, his voice low and husky.

Evangeline nodded, her lips parting slightly, but she didn’t speak. Her dress was still clutched tightly to her chest, the fabric bunched and wrinkled where her hands held it like a lifeline. Sebastian’s fingers brushed against hers briefly, coaxing her hands away. She released the fabric gradually, allowing him to take hold of the damp material. He guided the dress down with deliberate care, the silk whispering over skin as it slipped from her shoulders, revealing inch by inch the curves and contours he had so often dreamed of.

She wasn’t obscured by darkness nor veiled by the glow of the moonlight this time. Here, in the unyielding warmth of the lamplight, he could see her—truly see her. The soft curve of her stomach, the swell of her hips, the stretch marks that etched across her skin like pink and silver lightning, every dimple, mark, and scar that made her the woman he adored. And Merlin, he thought he might fall to his knees.

She was beautiful. More beautiful than his fantasies had ever dared to conjure. Because it was real. Because it was her.

Desire surged within him, raw and insistent, a heat that coiled low in his abdomen and spread through his veins. These were parts of her that had been hidden hidden from him, and now... now she was his. Only his.

Sebastian swallowed hard, his fingers trembling as they hovered over the delicate lace of her bra. He hesitated, his eyes meeting hers in a silent question. Her soft nod was all the permission he needed, though his movements remained painstakingly careful. His knuckles brushed against her bare sides as he slid the fabric upward, each stroke drawing goosebumps across her skin.

When the lace finally slipped free, it caught for the briefest moment before giving way, and her breasts bounced slightly as they settled, the motion so enticing it knocked the air from his lungs. Sebastian let out a strangled sound, somewhere between a gasp and a groan, his wide-eyed gaze devouring the sight before him.

Her breasts were full, lush in a way that seemed almost sinful, their softness practically begging for the worship of his hands, his mouth—anything he could offer. Her nipples were a delicate pink, taut against the cool air and utterly irresistible. They seemed to call to him, daring him to touch, to taste, to worship.

Evangeline, meanwhile, fidgeted slightly under his gaze, her hands twitching as though she wanted to cover herself. “Sebastian...” she muttered her voice uncertain, her cheeks blazing with color.

“Don’t,” he murmured, his voice thick and rough, the word carrying a quiet urgency. He stepped closer, his hands moving to her wrists, gently but firmly holding them in place.

Sebastian’s heart pounded in his chest. The sight of her like this—vulnerable yet so incredibly strong—made him feel unworthy, but Merlin help him, he couldn’t stop. He leaned closer, his breath warm against her skin as his fingers now drifted upward, moving toward her shoulder, then hesitating near the curve of her breast.

But before he could touch her, Evangeline shifted, her fingers curling into fists at her sides as if summoning every ounce of courage she possessed. Her hazel eyes, still shy but laced with that stubborn defiance he’d come to adore, locked onto his.

“Wait,” she said, her voice soft but firm, stopping him mid-movement.

He froze, worry flickering across his face. “Did I—?”

Her blush deepened, and she shook her head quickly. “No, it's just... If you’re going to look at me like that, you need to make things even first.” Evangeline’s gaze flickered to his shirt, her meaning unmistakable.

Sebastian blinked, momentarily thrown. His hands dropped from her as he straightened. “Oh,” he stammered, his voice cracking slightly. “Right. Of course. I—uh—yeah, fair.”

Evangeline’s lips quirked into a shy smile, her eyes glinting with quiet amusement at his flustered response. It was rare to see him so disarmed, and despite her own nerves, it gave her a small surge of confidence. “Well? I’m waiting.”

Sebastian swallowed hard, his hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. His fingers felt clumsy, his usual confidence nowhere to be found as he struggled under the weight of her gaze. Each button undone revealed more of his broad frame, and by the time he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders, Evangeline’s eyes had softened, her breath hitching slightly as she took him in.

Her eyes roamed over him with reverence, her gaze lingering on every freckle, every scar, every line of muscle that training as an Auror had carved into him. Her lips parted slightly, her breasts rising and falling in time with her shallow breaths, and then, slowly, hesitantly, she reached for him.

Her fingers brushed against his chest, feather-light at first, but as her confidence grew, her touch became firmer, her palms sliding across the taut muscles of his shoulders and down to the sharp planes of his abdomen.

“I’ve liked every version of you,” she told him softly, her gaze fixed on where her hand rested against his skin. Her words were quiet but steady, each one cutting through the tension between them like a warm knife.

Sebastian blinked. “What do you mean?”

She looked up at him then, her eyes wide and filled with a kind of wonder that made his chest tighten almost painfully. “Every version,” she repeated, her voice gaining strength. Her fingers continued their path, trailing lightly along the curve of his ribs. “This version of you—broad and strong, like you could take on the world without breaking a sweat,” she murmured, her lips curving into the faintest smile. “And the version of you when you let yourself indulge in too many pastries and sweets,” she added, her smile softening. “When all these jagged edges get a little softer, and you let yourself just be.”

Sebastian’s throat tightened, his breath hitching as her words sank in. Meanwhile, her fingers moved again, brushing faintly over the scar along his hip bone—a remnant of a duel from years ago. He twitched slightly at the touch, her exploration both grounding and electrifying. His hand came up to catch hers gently, holding it against his skin as his thumb brushed over her knuckles.

“You mean that,” he said, his voice low and rough. It wasn’t a question—he could see the truth in her eyes, feel it in the steadiness of her hand.

“Of course I do,” she said softly, her eyes locking onto his

Sebastian swallowed hard. She wasn’t just looking at him—she was seeing him, in a way no one else ever had or ever could. Not just the strong, composed Auror he was striving to become or the reckless, impulsive boy he used to be, but every version in between. Every flaw, every imperfection he thought made him unworthy of this moment. And she loved them all.

He didn’t know what to say, didn’t think he could put into words what he felt for her in this moment. So instead, he reached for her.

When their lips met, her breath hitched—a delicate, almost startled sound that sent a jolt of heat coursing through him—and then she leaned into him. Her hands slid up his chest, her fingers brushing over the faint ridges of muscle before curling around the back of his neck and into his hair.

Sebastian’s hands moved instinctively to her waist, his fingers splaying against the soft flesh. The warmth of her skin beneath his palms was intoxicating. She fit against him so perfectly, her body pressing into his, soft and yielding in ways that made him ache. He could feel every inch of her—her bare skin brushing against his, her breath mingling with his in the narrow space between them. It was maddening and exhilarating all at once, a heady cocktail of sensation that made it impossible to think of anything but her.

And then there was the undeniable evidence of his desire, pressed hard against her, impossible to ignore. He expected to feel a rush of shame or embarrassment, but none came. How could it, when every brush of her lips, every tremble in her frame, every soft sigh that escaped her told him she felt the same? When her fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer instead of shying away? When the way her body shifted against his was filled with trust and a longing that mirrored his own?

Sebastian’s lips chased hers instinctively when she pulled away, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his chest rising and falling as though he’d just run a marathon. He blinked down at her, caught in the spell of her flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and hazel eyes that seemed to hold him captive.

Her hands, however, didn’t stay idle.

Evangeline’s fingers slid down his chest, skimming over the taut lines of his abdomen before coming to rest at the waistband of his trousers. Her touch was tentative at first, almost hesitant, as though she was giving him one last chance to stop her. But when Sebastian didn’t pull away—when he couldn’t even summon a breath, let alone protest—her movements grew more deliberate.

She worked at the button, and Sebastian’s hands moved to hers, his fingers brushing against her knuckles as he helped guide her movements. When the waistband loosened, her hands lingered, her palms brushing over his hips as she pushed the fabric down. The soft scrape of her nails against his skin sent a shiver racing through him, his pulse roaring in his ears.

His hands trembled as he reached for her, slipping around her waist and pulling her close again until their bodies pressed together, soft against hard, warmth against warmth. He tipped his forehead to hers, his breath mingling with hers in the narrow space between them.

“What do you want, Evie?” he asked, his voice rough and breathless, his hands roaming up her back, desperate to touch every part of her but holding back just enough to give her the space to decide. “Tell me, and it’s yours. Whatever it is.”

Evangeline hesitated, her breath catching as her hands curled lightly against his chest, her touch uncertain. Her hazel eyes flickered with something that made Sebastian pause—need, yes, but also a vulnerability that twisted at his chest and held him still. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, but the words never came. Instead, her gaze dropped, her cheeks flushed, and she shifted slightly in his arms, her body soft and warm but undeniably tense.

Sebastian’s heart ached as he watched her, the faint flicker of hesitation in her eyes tugging at something deep within him. He could see it, the way insecurity warred with trust, how she was fighting to let herself be vulnerable—not just physically, but emotionally.

He knew this was new for her in ways it wasn’t for him. She wasn’t entirely inexperienced—that much he understood—but the slight tremor in her hands, the way her gaze flickered between his eyes and the space between them, told him this moment was different. This was uncharted territory for her, and it struck him with such force that his chest tightened, his breath catching in his throat.

And it only made him ache more.

Because it was him she trusted with this. She had chosen him to share this moment with, to be the one who held her in this space of vulnerability and discovery.

Sebastian let out a slow, unsteady breath, his hands smoothing over her back in a motion meant to soothe. “Hey,” he murmured softly, tipping his forehead against hers. “It’s okay. You don’t have to know. That’s what I’m here for.”

Her brows furrowed slightly, her cheeks darkening as she looked up at him, her lips trembling as though she was struggling to find the right words. “Sebastian, I just—” She broke off, biting her lip, and the vulnerability in her expression nearly undid him.

“Evie,” he murmured, his voice a low rasp, as he cupped her face in his hands. His thumbs brushed tenderly against her cheeks. “We’ll go as slow as you want. There’s no rush, no expectations. I just need you to promise me something.”

Her brows furrowed slightly, the faintest crease forming between them. “What?”

“If there’s anything you don’t like—anything at all—you have to tell me,” he said, his tone firm but gentle. His dark eyes held hers with unwavering sincerity. “I don’t care what it is. You won’t hurt my feelings. I just want you to be okay. I want you to feel good.”

Her lips parted, a soft breath escaping as color bloomed across her cheeks. She hesitated for a moment, her fingers clutching lightly at his arms, before finally nodding. “I trust you,” she said, her voice trembling slightly but filled with quiet conviction. “I’ll tell you.”

Something in Sebastian eased at her words, a tension he hadn’t even realized he was holding loosening in his chest. His lips curved into a faint, tender smile as his hands slid down to rest lightly on her waist. “Good girl,” he murmured, the words slipping out unbidden, low and warm and full of affection that made her shiver against him. “Now, come here,” he said softly, his voice like a gentle caress as he guided her backward toward the bed.

Evangeline followed his lead, her movements hesitant but trusting, her fingers brushing against his as though needing his touch to steady herself. When the backs of her knees hit the edge of the mattress, he caught her by the waist, his hands firm yet careful as he helped her ease down onto the bed.

“Lie back,” he murmured, his voice soft yet firm, as his hands glided over her thighs, warm and steady. He coaxed her gently, his touch both reassuring and deliberate. She hesitated for just a heartbeat, her eyes searching his, before she let herself give in. Slowly, she reclined, her body sinking into the plush mattress.

At the sight, a soft sound of want escaped him before he could stop it, low and reverent, a sound meant only for her. With a deliberate slowness, he climbed onto the bed, his hands pressing into the mattress on either side of her as he hovered over her.

Sebastian dipped his head, his lips brushing along her jawline, then lower, trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses down the column of her throat. She gasped softly, her fingers curling against his shoulders, her back arching slightly as he moved lower still, his lips finding the delicate skin above her collarbone.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against her skin, the words muffled. His lips hovered just above her navel, and he pressed a soft kiss there. “Do you know that? How beautiful you are?”

“Sebastian...” His name was a breathless sigh that sent a shiver down his spine. The way she said it, soft and full of need, made something inside him unravel. He wanted to hear it again. Wanted to hear her say it over and over, to know that every sound, every gasp, every trembling word was because of him.

His hands slid to the plush swell of her hips, gliding over her soft, yielding skin before coming to rest at the band of her underwear. He hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest, before he gently began to ease the garment downward. Every movement was deliberate, careful, as though she might vanish if he wasn’t slow enough, tender enough.

The fabric slipped lower, revealing more of her, until it joined the rest of their discarded clothes on the floor, and for a moment, Sebastian froze, his breath catching as his gaze lifted to take her in fully for the first time. And Merlin, he was certain his heart had stopped.

She was bare now—completely, achingly bare in the glow of the lamplight, splayed out against the rumpled sheets. Sebastian's eyes roamed over her slowly, devouring every detail. Her plush hips pressed outward against the bed, soft and inviting, the curve of her stomach as it rose and fell with each shallow breath, the faintest quiver in her exhale betraying her nerves. Lightning-shaped stretch marks streaked across her hips and stomach and thighs, each one uniquely hers. A scattering of freckles dotted her shoulders and chest, each one a small wonder that made him feel like an explorer discovering uncharted territory.

Her thighs parted just slightly, a subtle invitation, their softness flushed where his hands had been moments before. His gaze lingered on the fullness of her breasts, round and lush, falling gently to the sides with a natural grace that made his mouth go dry. Her nipples were still taut, their delicate pink hue standing out against her creamy skin, and he could see the faint rise and fall of her chest with each unsteady breath.

But what truly undid him, what rooted him in place and sent a quiet ache blooming in his chest, was the look in her eyes. Hazel and shining, half-lidded and heavy with desire, they locked onto his, and in that gaze, he saw everything. Trust—raw and unguarded. A vulnerability she was offering to him alone. And, beneath it all, a quiet, burning need that mirrored his own.

“Evangeline…” he breathed, her name tumbling from his lips like a prayer, reverent and full of wonder. His voice was hoarse, roughened by the weight of everything he felt but couldn’t yet say. “You’re…” He trailed off, unable to find words that could do her justice.

She shifted slightly under his gaze, her blush deepening as her hands fidgeted at her sides. "What?"

The hesitation in her tone cut through the haze of desire clouding his mind. “You’re breathtaking," he told her, "I don’t think you even realize how—” He broke off, shaking his head as though words couldn’t possibly suffice, his breath brushing against her skin as he lowered his head, pressing a kiss just above her navel before continuing their path down her body, trailing soft, deliberate kisses along her curves.

Her fingers twisted tightly in the sheets beneath her, knuckles white with tension as her breath hitched, every shallow inhale punctuated by the warmth of Sebastian’s touch. His hands moved with care, palms firm yet tender as they settled on her thighs, his thumbs brushing over her soft skin in slow, reverent circles. The faint tremble in her legs didn’t escape his notice, her body responding to him in a way that made his chest tighten and a deep, primal heat unfurl low in his stomach. She was his—completely, utterly his—and he was going to show her exactly what that meant.

But as Sebastian's fingers reached her center, he stilled, his movements halting as his chest heaved with uneven breaths. The moment hung suspended, heavy and electric, the space between their bodies charged with anticipation.

His palm hovered over her, hyperaware of the heat that matched the fire burning low in his abdomen. He swore he could feel her heartbeat in the air—or perhaps it was his own, thundering so loudly he could barely think.

Sebastian’s gaze flicked up to her face, searching, needing reassurance before he crossed the threshold of this moment. Her eyes met his, wide and full of emotion—trust, vulnerability, anticipation. Then, she nodded—just barely, the smallest dip of her chin—but it was enough. It was everything.

Sebastian moved.

With painstaking care, his fingers traced a tentative path along her, the contact so delicate it was almost reverent. The sensation ignited something deep within him, a shudder rolling through his body as he dropped his head, a low, strangled groan spilling from his lips before he could stop it.

She was wet—so incredibly wet—and it was almost too much to bear.

Slowly, with infinite care, Sebastian slipped one finger inside her. The moment her body yielded to him—soft, warm, and impossibly inviting—his breath hitched, caught in his throat as the sheer intimacy of it threatened to overwhelm him. Every thought scattered, replaced by the raw, visceral reality of her.

And then she gasped. The sound was soft, almost fragile, but it hit him with the force of a tidal wave. Her hips tilted instinctively toward him, her body seeking more of his touch with a need so unrestrained it stole his breath and sent heat surging through his veins.

His free hand pressed gently against her hip, his grip firm as though to remind himself this was real. She was real. And she had given herself to him, trusted him with every part of her.

“Fuck, Evie,” he rasped, his forehead dropping to rest lightly against her inner thigh, his breath warm against her skin.

Her response was a quiet, trembling whimper, soft but potent, and when her hips tilted slightly toward him again, he was powerless to resist, immediately curling his finger inside her, coaxing her body to respond.

"That's it," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "Let me take care of you."

Her fingers tightened in the sheets, her head tipping back against the pillow, while her other hand slid into his hair, her fingers tangling in the strands.

Sebastian's lips followed the curve of her body, leaving a trail of soft kisses along her stomach and thighs. He took his time, savoring the way she gasped and sighed, the way her body seemed to melt beneath his touch. When his lips finally pressed just above where his hand worked her, Evangeline’s entire body tensed, a sharp intake of breath escaping her.

“F-fuck,” she groaned, her voice with thick with need.

Emboldened by the sounds that escaped her lips, Sebastian carefully eased a second finger inside her, reveling in the way her body stretched and yielded to accommodate him.

Her response was immediate—a soft, breathless moan while her back arched. Sebastian swallowed hard, his free hand gripping now her thigh to steady himself as his thumb moved over the sensitive bundle of nerves at her center.

When her nails dug into his shoulders, sharp enough to leave faint crescents in his skin, and his name fell from her lips like a desperate plea, something inside him snapped. He needed to taste her.

With one last glance at her face—flushed, lips parted, eyes hazy with need—he lowered himself between her legs.

Sebastian’s first tentative stroke of his tongue sent a soft, startled cry spilling from her lips, her hand tightening in his hair. The taste of her bloomed across his tongue—vaguely salty, rich, and warm—and the moment it hit him, he knew it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. The sticky heat of her was something he was already certain he would crave for the rest of his days.

Evangeline's response was immediate and addictive. She gasped, pulling him closer as her body shifted against his mouth. Sebastian groaned against her, the vibration drawing another sharp gasp from her lips. Merlin, how had he gone this long without knowing this part of her? Without knowing what it felt like to have her utterly undone beneath him, trembling and gasping for him?

Sebastian's tongue worked her with care, alternating between broad, languid strokes and teasing flicks against the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her thighs tremble. Each new movement earned a fresh a whimper, a soft cry, her fingers tightening in the sheets or pulling harder at his hair, and he soaked in every bit of it like a man starving.

His free hand tightened against her thigh, steadying her as she squirmed beneath him, while the other continued its deliberate rhythm inside her. He curled his fingers again, seeking that spot deep within her, the one he knew would make her body tighten and her cries hitch. He found it when her breath broke into a sharp, high-pitched moan, her hips jerking involuntarily.

“There,” she gasped, her voice breaking as her fingers tugged at his hair. “Right there—Sebastian—fuck—right there.”

Her plea was a command, and he obeyed without hesitation. He focused every ounce of attention on that spot, curling his fingers just so, his tongue matching the rhythm as he lavished attention on her sensitive clit. The combination had her unraveling, her thighs trembling on either side of his head, her cries growing louder and more desperate.

“Sebastian,” she whimpered, his name a plea on her lips that sent a jolt of heat straight through him. The way she said it, breathless and desperate, was unlike anything he’d ever heard. “I—I’m going to…”

Sebastian hummed in response and maintained his pace, his fingers curling inside her and hitting that perfect spot again and again, building her higher, drawing her closer to the edge until sddenly, her body tensed beneath him, her entire body arching off the mattress.

The sound of her—raw and uninhibited, his name falling from her lips like a prayer—was overwhelming, but he didn’t stop, didn’t pull away as her climax washed over her. Sebastian stayed in place, his fingers slowing their rhythm but maintaining that perfect pressure until her cries faded into soft, breathless whimpers as she shuddered through the aftershocks.

When her body finally began to still, sinking back into the mattress, Sebastian eased his fingers from her with careful, unhurried movements. His lips followed, trailing soft, lingering kisses along her inner thighs, her skin was warm and damp beneath his mouth, her body trembling faintly as the last ripples of pleasure ebbed away.

Sebastian climbed up the bed, his hands brushing over her sides as he settled beside her. Evangeline’s hazel eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused, and her lips parted in a soft, breathless exhale.

“Evie?” he murmured softly.

Her lips twitched into the faintest of smiles, her hazel eyes flickering open to meet his. “I think…” she started, her voice still breathy. “I think you've ruined me, Sebastian Sallow.”

He laughed quietly, the sound low and warm, as he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to her forehead. “Good,” he murmured against her skin, his tone teasing but full of affection. “Because trust me, you’ve ruined me a hundred times over.”

Her cheeks flushed even deeper, and she let out a soft, breathless laugh as she rolled onto side, her hand coming to rest against his chest.

For a moment, they stayed just like that, tangled in each other, the quiet intimacy of the moment stretching between them like a thread. Sebastian brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek as he studied her, his eyes filled with something tender.

“You’re mine,” he said softly, the words slipping out before he could stop them. They weren’t a question, but a quiet declaration, a truth he felt down to his very bones.

Evangeline simply nodded, her fingers tightening against his chest. “And you’re mine."

Read more stories about Sebastian and Evangeline

Read on AO3

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[1moreff-creator]

With the release of a thrilling and VERY shocking Chapter 1 for Project: Eden's Garden, I'd like to resubmit my "What would make them laugh?" inquiry, but for the P:EG cast instead.

Yeah, I feel like we kinda need that one after everything that happened over there :'D. I've been wanting to write for this fangan anyways, so this is as good a place to start as any! Let's go!

Spoilers for Eden's Garden CH1

(Also, is the "shocking" description a pun on the murder method? Very funny if so xD)

Cassidy: We know she enjoys extremely horrible puns and referential humor, and the strength of her laughter correlates to how much the people around her either groan or enjoy the jokes alongside her.

Damon: He'd never admit it, but he enjoys silly jokes about niche topics he's researched for debates, provided he remembers enough about them. He particularly enjoys deadpan and sarcasm, and teasing other people.

Desmond: With how chill he is, he enjoys sweet and wholesome jokes the most. He can chuckle at anything if he's in a large enough group where everyone is comfortable, though.

Diana: She enjoys watching her friends engage in goofy antics and have silly discussions. Anything that makes them laugh, will make her smile, at least, and she'll usually laugh along too.

Eloise: Very odd and awkward sense of humor that not everyone gets. However, if someone matches her energy, she can very easily become a giggling mess. Very into inside jokes.

Eva: She'd rather not admit it, but really nerdy jokes and overly convoluted wordplay amuse her more than anything else. She also enjoys teasing the very few people she can call friends, and laughs when they get flustered.

Grace: Making fun of people and sexual innuendo are the easiest way to get her to laugh. She really enjoys slapstick and silly misfortunes, and flustering people like Wolfgang with her innuendo.

Ingrid: Laughs whenever she finds something cute, and generally, she finds other people's laughter cute. In other words, she laughs when others laugh, so she tries to make that happen.

Jean: Will readily and heartily laugh whenever he's having fun with friends, no matter what that fun looks like. Particularly enjoys anything that reminds him of the sea, like puns about the ocean and the like.

Jett: Similarly to Jean, if he likes the people he's around, a quick laugh will always precede all his sentences. Other than that, high intensity bits where there's one joke after another in quick succession are the best ways to hear his laughter.

Kai: Internet memes, "brainrot" humor, references to popular media... Just the most "chronically online" sense of humor you can possibly imagine. Also likes teasing people occasionally.

Mark: He's the hardest to get to laugh in the entire cast, but the best way to do it would be catching him off guard with a really ironic or unexpected joke. Self-deprecating and generally depressing humor go over particularly well.

Toshiko: She really likes weirding people out with her odd stories and grandiloquence, because it makes her feel smarter than them. But when she's not teasing others, she can also be seen giggling at absurdist jokes she's embarrassed to admit she likes (finds them childish).

Ulysses: He enjoys smart history references, so his sense of humor can certainly be described as "nerdy as hell." Very big fan of deadpan humor, too.

Wenona: Also a big fan of deadpan, she and Ulysses have fun together. She also likes making fun of people, and finds it particularly funny when they fight back on whatever point she makes.

Wolfgang: Likes playing along with other people's antics, like Grace's. In other words, he laughs when someone is being super silly around him and he can "yes and" his way into a funny bit.

Tozu: Human suffering and overly dramatic puns.

Mara: Clinically unable to laugh, or so she says. Secretly loves cute animal videos.

Cara: I guess it depends on what theories you believe about her. However, I don't know the full range of theories around her, so I'll leave it at that :p

Hope that was good enough! Thanks for the ask, it's always fun to think about this! :D

[daughterofevil158]

How would Damon’s soulmates comfort him if he were crying?

Hmm, this is definitely an interesting question because Damon has been shown to be...very avoidant of any emotional turmoil until it bursts and he's forced to confront it. Thinking that he's kinda an ugly crier but quiet about it unless he hyperventilates (like, only sniffles occasionally and doesn't really sob, but dear god is his face blotchy when he's done). I'm ranking everyone and writing under the assumption that a: it's during their 1st night trapped in EGA (when Damon's thinking about how he wants his parents), and b: all the soulmates already know in order to simplify things

◊ 10/10: Desmond. Man is capable of everything except keeping track of his things. Definitely one of the few who verbally validates that yeah, this is a scary situation to be in, and missing loved one outside is completely normal. Asks if Damon needs/wants him to do anything to help, insisting that he's okay with anything (if he needs a hug, or just for Desmond to stay next to him, he's doing it). Tries distracting by asking what his parents are like, and that they seem like good people since their son clearly loves them a lot. Offers to make tea once Damon stops crying and all around is just doing a good job.

◊ 9/10: Diana. She does most of what Desmond does, but her wording is a lot more optimistic (and therefore naive in Damon's eyes). But she's persistent that they'll find a way out and that he'll see his parents again. (She'd also ask about them as a distraction, and bless her heart she helps hide the evidence with her talent afterwards because she knows he's prideful like that) Gives full body hugs, almost pulls back on realizing she didn't ask first, then hugs even tighter when Damon returns it (definitely frustrates Damon a little that she's clearly struggling not to cry herself but is more worried about him).

◊ 8.5/10: Wolfgang. While being older makes his words have more weight, unlike Diana this man has never done this before. He is very clearly copying the things he's seen in his daytime shows, but the hugs are somehow both loose and stiff (man's nervous about doing something wrong, cut him some slack). Definitely gets a halfhearted "You suck at this" from Damon.

◊ 8/10: Ulysses. Similar to Wolfgang in the sense of never having done this before, but with the caveat of desperately skimming through his journal to see if he'd written down how to comfort a crying person. Eventually gives up on that and tries distracting Damon via debate history. Which surprisingly works as Damon is so taken aback by the random change in subject that he just listens to Uly ramble while slowly calming down. Ulysses stays on the logical side of things when comforting (ex: that 16 missing Ultimates are surely being looked for), doesn't initiate any hugs but does squeeze Damon's hand reassuringly. (proceeds to go unconscious the minute Damon's okay again, and now he's stuck there with an owl on his shoulder)

◊ 7/10: Cassidy, Kai, and Jett. Definitely not as good with words as those above them and would fumble with that at first. However, they have bear hugs in spades. Which, considering that Damon didn't really have expectations for them on the words side of things, it's good enough.

◊ 6/10: Mark and Eva. Mark is Mark, and Eva's only interactions with crying people are the times when she was crying after getting bullied in school (plus, she was literally the first to claim that a killing would happen, I don't think she'd have the audacity to walk back on that like 2 hours later). Definitely the type who'd internally go "Fuck, what do I do? Uh, people need fluids after crying, right??" and then be awkwardly sitting next to Damon holding a glass of tap water. Don't really do/say anything but awkward shoulder pats and "Do you...need anything?" They kinda really suck at this, but they're there for him at least.

Honorable Mention: Toshiko. It's honestly a coin toss in my head on whether she's decent if awkward about it or if it feed-backs into her starting to cry about missing her mom. As mature as Toshiko makes herself out to be, being stuck here sucks, and being 14 and stuck here probably sucks more, especially since she clearly loves her mom as shown by her FTEs. It probably ends up with mutual hugging on the floor while crying and telling the other how bad they are at this (Damon is more motivated by the "I shouldn't behave like this in front of a kid" factor than the actual comforting attempts to stop crying). Definitely a bit awkward when they're done, but for the sake of Damon's poor mochi heart, Toshiko shall forgive his terrible decorum with comforting a lady if he in turn forgives her rather uncouth display just then (girl you are fourteen, it's okay to cry sweetie).

[i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror]

Just found out that Anno is a sexual predator and abusive to his employees (very new to the fandom still). I'm having complicated feelings on how to feel about Evangelion and what I like about how it writes its women.

How do you feel Anno's misogyny actually impacts Evangelion, is the misogyny of Shinji left uncriticized in the end or not, and how does this affect your love for the series (given you still love it a lot despite whatever issues Anno has)?

I've heard about this, and I don't doubt it but also from what I know, most of this is all basically hearsay. There's no primary source that I'm aware of, just third parties saying "Miyamura said XYZ at a con in 2006" or "Miyamura said ABC in an interview in 2012," and so on. So, I care, but I don't, if that makes sense. However, I think it's equally true that where there's smoke, there's fire. In conclusion, I don't doubt that Anno is predatory and abusive, but I don't feel comfortable citing the same specific instances that people tend to, because it's mostly all second or third hand information. That, and I'm not sure that it changes anything materially speaking. You'd have to be spectacularly naive to believe that some man you've never met is respectful towards women and his subordinates.

I am involved in other fandoms where absolute bombshells of abuse allegations have dropped, and those have always had a primary source attached. Somebody coming forward to tell their story, somebody pointing out something wack that was said in an interview, and so on. There's a difference between "I heard that so and so said 123" and "Graham Coxon raped me at Leeds in 2005." And if we're talking about anime, we also have to mention that there is a primary source allegation against Ikuhara -- a woman claimed that he creeped on her at a con when she was 15. Not to mention that he also conducted interviews in Akio cosplay back in the 90s, which is very suspect.

Does Anno's misogyny impact Evangelion? I mean, duh. Asuka and Rei never reconcile, the Rebuilds are full of scholcky fanservice that make the most egregious scenes in NGE look clinical in comparison. But the thing with Asuka and Rei ties into what I was talking about in my other answer, which is that, well, this is also just true to life?

I don't really care about Anno as a person. It's kind of futile to, since there's a dearth of English language writings on him and translations of his interviews, etc.

I think there is something to be said about how few women write about misogyny in this way. Women live misogyny, so writing and making art about it tends to be more draining than cathartic. I'm one of those weirdos for which that's not that case at all. I'm constantly writing about misogyny and abuse, not just on this blog, but in my original works, too.

Shinji's misogyny is absolutely not left uncritiqued, I think that's pretty obvious if you watch End of Eva. The movie beats both the viewer and Shinji himself over the head with how poorly he thinks of and treats the women and girls in his life. It's clear that he's done the most wrong towards them. End of Eva 100% considers Shinji's objectification of Misato, Rei, and Asuka, and his assault of Asuka and jealousy of Rei to be more serious than his (admittedly microscopic) roles in what happened to Toji, Kaworu's death, and his occasional rudeness towards Kaji.

[dseval]

[★INTRO POST★]

Hello, page visitor. If you'd like to, please read this intro post. (And if you don't want to, that's fine, too)

QUICK FACTS:

Dseval || Adult || Artist

I breathe CrossDust

Contains: Sansshipping, Sans AUs, UTMV

May contain: Nothing too extreme. All will be tagged accordingly (so please block it if you're uncomfortable). So far: #cw ecto body, #cw smoking, #cw blood, #cw suggestive

DNI: Proshippers, Pro-Israel, Queerphobic, etc.

Requests/Asks are Open.

My Sans OC

(i promised myself that after posting 10+ posts I will create an intro post idk why. Guys. Is this how tumblr works?)

!! These are always open

Unless stated otherwise. But this does not mean I will do/go along with everything.

Asks/Submissions (you can also ask and submit anonymously)

Art Suggestions

Art Trades (preferably by moots/friends)

✧Also, feel free to use my art for everything non-problematic. I'm okay with you taking inspiration or copying directly from my drawings. Or repost them. Just make sure to credit me— or better yet, tag me!

☆Accounts

2nd page: @dsevalyappuccino (for shitposts, reblogging, yapping, and lowres doodles)

Twitter acc: @/dsevalxdsx (there is actually nothing here, but it is open for DMs)

AO3: dseval (there is actually only one fic, don't expect anything in the near future)

Bluesky: dseval.bsky.social (not really active, but I post there sometimes, and I accept DMs)

For commissions and inquiries, feel free to message me anywhere or email dsevalxdsx@gmail.com

☆General Info

✧ I am Dseval. (Pronounced dee-s-eval eval like in the word evaluation.) If you feel like it isn't a cute/short enough name for you— then you can call me Eva. Or call me whatever, I'll tell you If I dislike it.

✧ I draw. Occasionally I also code, make games. I also write fanfics (barely), and make music (barely).

✧ I won't reveal my age, but know that I am not a minor.

✧ I'm Queer. I'm okay with all pronouns, but They/Them is my personal favourite.

✧ I am not open for any relationships, in case you plan on asking.

✧ I am okay with dark topics, I love exploring them, but I do prefer wholesome things.

✧ I'm shy. As in, ☆super shy☆. So I may not post often and chicken out of conversations. Please do not be offended If I did that, you did nothing wrong.

✧ I did say I'm shy. But I also over-yap. I like friends. I'm accepting friends anytime anyday. On the topic of over-yap, I apologize If I ever said something that offended anyone. I am not very great at socializing.

✧ I also don't understand tone tags. So i apologise if I'm slow to get things.

✧ NSFW or suggestive is okay. But I don't really make these contents myself.

✧ I am OK with tagging. In fact, tag me in everything.

✧ Most of the time, I act on absolutely no reason and just because. Do not overthink my actions.

✧ I am not diagnosed (mental healthcare is very poor in my country). But I suspect I have Bipolar Disorder. I may have mood swings and be over-excited at times, or be too tired to response. I hope for your understanding.

✧ My favourite color is PURPLE, in case you can't tell.

☆ Expect:

Expect mostly Undertale Multiverse content, but to be more specific...

Drawings of Sans AUs

Sanshipping

Genderbending Sans AUs

Making my own AU (not speedrun)

Maybe other things, a list cannot list all of my interests

... All in my inconsistent artstyle.

However, feel free to also talk to me about Deltarune, My Little Pony, Evangelion, and Madoka Magica, and several gacha games. I am very deep into the lore of all of the above.

☆Interests

My favourite AU Sans' are Cross and Dust/Murder. (I also think they should kiss)

I am a multishipper, and my bar is very low so I swallow pretty much any content just as long as it is appropriate. Here are my favourites though:

☆ Cross x Dust, Cross x Dream, Color x Killer, Nightmare x Error, Horror x Farm, Geno x Reaper, Fatal_Error x Lavender

I absolutely eat those up, so if you know me and you know about these, please tag me in any related content.

☆If...

Do not interact with me If you are any of the following:

You are a proshipper/comshipper/darkshipper (or, whatever name you call yourself). I do not support that behaviour nor do I do condone it.

You are pro-Israel, Queerphobic, body shamers, pedophiles, zoophiles, etc.

You spread hate and harassment.

☆Tags

× General tags (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

#archiveverse (for my AU)

#dsevalanswers (for every asks that I answer)

#dsevalartreq (for every drawing requests I completed)

#kebaya skellies (for every drawing of any skeleton in kebaya)

#dsevalreblog (for reblogs interactions something just for me to visit later)

#gifts (for anything someone gives for me)

#dsevalyappuccino (for whenever I talk without posting art, this tag is also used by my 2nd acc @dsevalyappuccino)

× Event tags (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)⁠！

#dsevaldrsa15 (i put almost all AU Sanses into a spin the wheel program 15 times and then draw the wheel's picks for 15 days straight)

[capn-atlas]

New intro (because I can't settle on one apparently) please read this before you follow

BEFORE THE INTRO: please do not ask me for donations. I am a minor and cannot donate, and I will not put your posts on my blog.

HELLOHELLOHELLOOOOO

Tis I, the great & wonderful cap'n Atlas! y'all can call us collectively Captain, Cap'n, Captain Atlas, Atlas, Cheshire, or Anna. We use any & all pronouns thou can think of, but not she/her too much, as we are a PIRATICAL SEA CAPTAIN WHO DOES IS NOT FEMME. (not like piratical sea captains cant be femme I'm just- oh my god where am I going with this what the hek)

ANYWAY

We are an endogenic system (I call us The Crew or Atlas System), I am the host, Anna, but I usually use we/us pronouns even when i'm the only one fronting. we have four or five existing alters, and when they get around to actually writing their intros like they're supposed to then i'll link them here, but their names are Anna (me, the host) Lennon, Maddelleine, Eva, Riko, Enzo and Starwork

Enzo’s intro (by Enzo) Enzo's intro 2 (by Anna)

Riko's intro (by Riko)

Eva's intro (by eva) Eva's intro 2 (by Anna)

Lennon's blog/intro (his own blog that has his intro as the pinned post) (by Lennon)

Maddeleine's intro (by Anna)

here is my pronouns.cc for more info on the mateys

I am aro/ace, and our system will, though some members are not aro/ace, will most likely never be in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone outside of the system. I'm agender and genderfluid. our genderfluidity is somewhat due to our plurality.

we are canadian. if thou dares to insult our maple syrup, we shalt ride at dawn, armed with nothing but moose, some "eh?"s, timbits, and dreams.

we are a therian, fictionkin (maybe), objectkin, and otherkin

theriotypes:

wolf

cat

rat

moth

fox

meerkat

prairie dog

border collie

t-rex

fictionkin:

the Cheshire cat (Alice in wonderland) (questioning)

mabel (gravity falls)

objectkin:

doll

puppet

otherkin

alien

some sorta deer cryptid

ghost/angel pirate?? idk but I am definitely ghost/angel kin and I think my kintype was a pirate in their lifetime or smth idk

our current obsessions are:

only murders in the building

wednesday (the show) (and more specifically, wenclair)

wicked (the musical and book) (and more specifically, gelphie)

byf: I’m a minor!!!!! So don’t be weird. I’m serious. (I’m also aroace so double don’t be weird). No funny business. I swear very very occasionally but even so, if that makes you uncomfortable maybe don't follow. as I said it is on an extremely rare occasion I swear but you've been warned I suppose

dni: anti-therians/furries, TERFS, queerphobes (e.g. homophobes, transphobes, biphobes), p3dos, z0os, radqueers, any explicitly NSFW blogs, anti-endos, and just general assholes

our asks are open for therian line art requests!! (okay so I don't actually know what it's called but like the photo of a theriotype with white lining over it). to request, please state the 'type, what symbol (if any) you'd like me to put on the forehead, and if possible include a photo of the 'type so I don't get mixed up.

slowly turning into a hoard of userboxes: (all by @kthecritter they're awesome go check them out)

[bluetteberry]

Imprint Reality

About Me 

Name: Kasi Voltaire

Age: 17 

Gender: Female 

Height: 5’4” 

Birthday: January 30th

Occupation: student 

Backstory 

One parent again lol- my mom is Genevieve Voltaire. I live in Forks, Washington. I grew up with two childhood friends,and they’re a lot like my siblings if anything. These people are Seth and Leah Clearwater! Their father, Harry, is essentially my Uncle at this point. Even though they live on the reserve, it never stops us from hanging out constantly. This can be having movie nights and sleepovers, or just doing our respective homework together. This reality is definitely one of the more ‘cozy’ and just relaxing DRs I have. Because I don’t do a whole lot, and I don’t have a lot of responsibility. 

Once again with the ambiguous backstory, I haven’t scripted a lot of details except my mom and where I live. I also have to say, that although this reality is inspired by Twilight, it is NOT Twilight. The plot is not the same, and there are just a lot of differences. The main idea is the same though. The people in my DR look a lot different, and act different as well. One of the main differences that is that Jacob initially has his little crush on Bella, but after the first few times she stiffed him, he backed off. (Like a normal person??) So there's that. 

So despite being lifelong best friends with Seth and Leah, and even occasionally meeting Mr. Black, I have never met Jacob. At some point I started getting curious about my best friend’s friend, and I had heard about Jacob from them and his dad, but we just never interacted. (Which isn’t surprising considering my feelings about meeting new people.) Some other information about me is that I’m kind of homeschooled. (YOU CANT MAKE ME GO TO HIGH SCHOOL.) So I take online school, and I really like it. 

I forgot what I was going to write after that. So I’ll just mention that the timing in this reality is more modern, so there are smart phones, etc. Some weird things about me are that I like bubble baths, I have a coffee addiction, and I have a green house in my backyard! Also my mom is a veterinarian in this reality. And something weird that I keep feeling about this reality is that I think I might be diabetic? I occasionally see myself with a continuous glucose monitor on my arm when I visualize myself in this reality. So there’s that! 

I remember what I was going to type earlier! It’s about the werewolf stuff/ wolf shifter stuff. So since my besties are Seth and Leah, I am completely familiar with their culture and the fact that they are wolves. We mess around in my backyard with their wolf forms sometimes. (Its like giant puppy cuddles!) 

Abilities/Extra 

Okay so… obviously this is called my ‘Imprint’ reality. I am in fact Jacob Black’s imprint. And our first meeting is actually when I mention being curious about actually meeting Jacob,and Seth and Leah think it would be fun for all of us to hang out! So the next time they come over, they bring Jacob with them. (I thought it would be hilarious to let him internally freak out inside my house while I am oblivious.) I am also scripting so that I do not know I am Jacob’s imprint when I am in that reality. GIVE ME THE PINING. Also common theme guys- I love werewolves. I am a werewolf girlie. FUR EVA. 

I did script a little bit of an angsty moment- but it’s good! I promise! So I have this feeling that anything regarding my extended family is a little shady? And of course you know I have to give myself a form of magic in this reality. I just can’t help it. Anyway, if you have watched or read Twilight, you know that canonically Harry Clearwater gets offed by Victoria. (A vampire) And I am too emotionally attached to him, he is quite literally my family. So the scene is this: 

I am hanging out with Seth and Leah when they get a phone call from Billy Black, and it’s from the hospital. This is the point in which Harry gets attacked, but he doesn’t die, he is just critically injured in the hospital. So we immediately speed over there, and it is really bad. This is actually a little rough to think about, but it’s important to my reality. I’m feeling distraught, I can just feel this impending grief. I am just wishing I could heal Harry right now, wishing I could just bring him all the way back, wishing and desperately wanting for him to be okay. I feel this weird tingling in my palms where they are resting on the hospital bed, and then I suddenly feel this warmth rushing through my veins outward- and the heart monitor next to the bed starts beeping regularly. This is an activation of sorts of my magic, even though I have no idea. (I am NOT scripting trauma I promise!)

[zoke-coke]

Okay here’s some emo band au shit. There are multiple bands, as the total drama part of the au itself is a battle of the bands competition. We got

BANDS:

The Drama Brothers

The one canon band. They’re a combination of every boy band—nonfiction AND fiction—ever. Consists of the same four (+ Sasquatchanakwa) as in the show.

System Flowers

I know I always call them “the emo band”, but they’re not really one set subculture. I mean, Duncan’s punk, Alejandro’s emo, Mal’s a metalhead, and Zoey’s goth at her core, but if you asked me to list their songs I’d give you an MCR album. Which makes me wonder, if they’re this universe’s MCR, does Twilight exist? Does 50 Shades exist? Does After exist, but as Drama Brothers? Anyway, their #1 rival band is the Drama Brothers. They also all kiss sometimes. They consist of:

Zoey - lead vocalist, can not play an instrument (represented in logo as a pink violet)

Mike (Mal/Svetlana) - guitar and bassist AND stunt artist (Svetlana) (represented in logo as a blue forget me not)

Duncan - drummer (represented in logo as a green button pom)

Heather - manager/keys (represented in logo as a white……..heather)

Alejandro - guitarist and vocalist (represented in logo as a red rose) (added to the band as competition to Justin)

Prime Time Lobotomy

Dark folk band composed of loons (affectionate and serious). Occasionally, they have screamo-like vocals with their fairy folk instrumentals. They’re probably all sapphics but I won’t say who dates who. The women:

Dawn - lead vocalist, but plays the flute when not singing.

Izzy - fiddle player, constantly tries to convince Dawn to let her yodel in the middle of random songs. She says she IS the lobotomy in the band name.

Jo - acoustic guitar. She was a last minute addition, but was convinced by Dawn. She said her soul needed some fun.

Eva - hand drums, or anything she can bang on.

SOLOISTS:

Courtney

Courtney was a ghostwriter who wrote music for various artists, who after her teenage years put out her own songs on YouTube and became an internet singer. She eventually became a big pop star, and that’s where she’s at now. I’d say she’s like… this universe’s Taylor? But I don’t know if I CAN say that

Gwen

True goth girl. She writes on her own, but doesn’t really put any music out; she was accepted into the battle of the bands through a random raffle. Princess Charm School style. The first friend she really makes in this whole thing is Courtney. Courtney finds her weird, but… charming.

José

Before Alejandro joined System Flowers, he was in a duo music act with his brother. While their act was extremely successful, it was obvious José was the favorite and he knew it. He’d constantly put Alejandro down and take any spotlight he had. One performance Alejandro has enough of his bullshit and they have a very violent split, and he joins this competition as a way to get back at him.

HOSTS:

Geoff and Bridgette

They’re married :) talk show hosts, a lot easier to talk to than Chris.

Chris McLean.

The main host. Put the show on to not give popularity to others, but to gain it himself. He was a one hit wonder years ago, for “I Wanna Be Famous”.

Yeah that’s it 👍 uhhhh oh yeah to clear up any confusion the contestants are all in their 20s, out of college. And it’s kinda just gen 1 and gen 2 cast. For now

[thylocalbard]

'Supdate Sunday Monday #11

Sorry for the late update lol, it's the middle of exam period and I'm busting my ass trying not to fail. Anyways, no AO3 upload this week because of that reason, but I am working on something!

Tyrant's Reign

Nice Antibiotics

Morgwen Flirting

Ranger's Apprentice AU

An New Fandom Calls

tags (reply to be added/taken off the taglist!): @resmyx @tributes-vamps-and-ginnyweasley @creature-of-delerium @theloudestwriter @moonelight

Tyrant's Reign

I'm on Chapter 6! I'm overall much happier with the lore and characterisation in this draft, even if it's taking me ages. I love the relationships I'm setting up tbh. I have also changed Alyx's name to Anushra. Idk if I've mentioned that here before but honestly it's awkward having an Alyx and an Alac. That was dumb. Anyway, check out my sporadic lore on @tyrantsreign and have an excerpt (Hedari and Anushra):

"You're late," they remarked as she let herself in. They were sitting at the table, the usual assortment of rugs cushioning the hard wood of the chair. "Has Orren put you on the archives again?"

"Regrettably," she replied, setting her bag down. "I wish he would just keep a list, or something of the sort. It would make everything much easier."

"So you've said," they said, amusement clear in their voice even as she turned to pull the bread out of the pantry. She would have liked to have something hot, but she couldn't really be bothered to cook.

Nice Antibiotics

More of a concept tbh but I want to introduce it. Basically, Antinous is fostered by Penelope when his father leaves for Troy (I don't know the original lore and I don't care lol), and becomes an older brother to Tele + a helper for Penelope. He falls in with the Suitors as a teen and is slightly horrified when they move in, but pretends he agrees with them to try and mitigate the harm to Penelope and Tele. Mentored by Ares, probably, and also he's definitely gay and banging Eurymachus. I am planning two endings (one angsty, and one fix-it).

Morgwen flirting

I have started it!! I wasn't expecting anyone to actually see that post (me complaining that Morgana would be equally as terrible at flirting as Arthur), but two people were enough motivation to start! I'm 2/3 done a draft and I love it so much I love writing them <33. Excerpt:

Gwen had brought in wildflowers again, a bouquet of white and yellow blooms. Spring was Morgana's favourite season, because it mean flowers from Gwen. The smell of them was clinging to her, and maybe she hadn't put on quite as much perfume that morning because of it.

Ranger's Apprentice AU

That one I'm writing during commute time! Occasionally, anyway. I think I'm over 10k? Idk. I actually need to sit down and plot out the story, because I'm nearing the end of Chapter 3 and honestly, it's going to be a lot harder to pants this once I get to the actual story. Anyways, I have so many plans for this which I am so very excited to write. Excerpt (Crowley and Halt [pretrans]):

Crowley glanced around the nearly-light clearing, before pulling himself to his feet with a sigh and offering a hand to help her up. "D'you drink coffee?"

She tool his hand, the movement making her head sway temporarily. "Is that really a question?"

"Just checking Pritchard didn't miss anything."

A New Fandom Calls

Look, I'm just saying. I think that An Inspector Calls needs a bigger fandom on AO3. Especially a bigger fandom outside of Gerald/Eric shippers. Like sure, I see it, but it's not really a ship I like? More a crackship for me personally. Sheila/Eva? That's another story. I also just. Want to explore the play. because it's amazing. Excerpt of a letter from Sheila to Eva after the events of the play:

Eva,

This is most probably the wrong way to begin a letter to a person I have never met, but I don't suppose it matters much. I'm never going to meet you, after all we've done.

Uhhhh that's it for this week? I promise I haven't lost motivation for GCGC but omfg time is so hard to come by T-T

[daughter-of-sapph0]

hey, you found my pinned post!

I hid this on that one anon response because it's hilarious and I want it at the top of my blog.

i'm Queen

welcome to my blog. I hope you're not expecting a consistent theme or any sort of organization here.

I mainly just reblog whatever I like, but if you want me to tag something specific, let me know

im plural. all alters use she/her. i prefer to be called Queen unless you actually know me personally. i try and tag certain posts with headmates names but we forget sometimes

.

here's some of the tags I use:

#dostxt - original posts

#dospics / #maebhdos - my artwork

#asks - my ask tag

#my ocs - my original characters, mainly art and memes about them. just be aware that all my ocs are from porn, and 90% of that porn exists only in my head as of present

I have a few other blogs as well:

@maebhdos my art archive blog. (not really that active any more. i kinda forgot to use this for a while)

@lesbian-barriss is my star wars side blog, which is probably my least active but I still will reblog stuff occasionally

@best-evangelion-girl is my evangelion side blog. originally I started it for a silly joke poll competition, but I'm keeping it around so there isn't as much eva spam on my main. I also reblog a bunch of anime stuff like bocchi, fma, rtu, dunmeshi, and more. mostly just runs on a queue

@angel-in-shibari is my... uh... side blog. 18+ only. also contains a link to my ao3 and my writing

i don't feel like laying out all my politics and labels and whatever. I think if you've been following me for a while, you should know what I'm like.

you don't necessarily have to agree with everything I believe. but if your a dick or bigot or just piss me off, I'm blocking you without a second thought.

my askbox is open most of the time. but if i get hate mail or threats, i'm donating money to transgender organizations for every ask i get, just to piss you off.