#even as it ruins you and turns you into a fake shadow person and not a real whole human being

[sc0tters]

Friend in Need | Luca Fantilli

summary: who would have thought fake dating could end up so messy?

request: yes/no

warnings: mentions of underaged drinking, allusions to sex, swearing.

word count: 2.39k

authors note: I’m embarrassed to say how long it took me to write this after I made @fantillisdaylight pick what I wrote next 😭 this one has been in the works for a while now but I’m glad it is finally done and I like how it ended up.

You didn’t know how you landed up in this position.

It all started in Italy, the time you were meant to have to enjoy the company of your best friend before he went off to the NHL. Adam had been your person for years on end and this was going to be the first time you were going to be away from him. So during this trip you aimed to spend as much time as you could with Adam, but even with that you still needed your time alone. This time it came in the form of tanning as you watched him play football on the beach. The reason you weren’t with him was that you were using the trip to fall out of love with him.

So as Adam stood on the beach laughing at something of one of the local girls said to him, you couldn’t help but notice the shadow that formed above you “you’re gonna ruin my tan!” You whined cutting yourself off as you saw Luca standing above you “sorry sweets.” Luca teased as he sat next to you pushing your feet off of the end of your lounger.

Luca had been the irritating older brother Adam always had. He was only three months older than you but somehow you never found a way to connect with him in the way you connected with Adam “you enjoy watching him try to get laid?” Luca teased causing your cheeks to grow warm as you tucked your hair behind your ears.

The smirk he had on his face hardened as he ran his fingers through his hair “I do not care what happens to him in his bed.” You shook your head making Luca laugh “so the crush you’ve had on him-” he couldn’t finish his sentence as you slapped your hand over his mouth.

Your eyes were wide when you realised he knew “when I remove my hand you will not say a word about it?” The hockey player nodded as he listened to you “I think someone should have noticed with you having this crush since you were six.” Luca pulled back when you went to quiet him again.

You swore it wasn’t nearly as obvious “it’s for the best.” You knew you couldn’t argue with him not when Luca could spot your lying cues from a mile away “you know I would believe what you said if you actually dated a guy.” It was no secret to anyone that all you did was hook up with guys, you opted for it instead as you couldn’t bring yourself to like someone else.

Luca sighed as he placed his hand on your knee “look all I’m saying is that I could help you out.” He offered with a sparkle running across his eyes “unless you plan on getting your brother to like me I don’t see how this is going to work out?” You grumbled pushing your hair out of your face to focus on him.

He swore his mouth when dry “I’ll date you.” The hockey players offer made you furrow your eyebrows “what would be in it for you?” Somehow you were still ready to hear him out like you were out of ideas.

He shrugged thinking about all of the different reasons why “Rutger says Molly has a new boyfriend and I need her to know I’ve moved on.” Luca was spending his first weekend home with the McGroarty family and he really didn’t know how was meant to face his ex with her new happy boyfriend “I’m in.” You nodded holding your hand out for him to shake.

But you pulled it away when you came up with a list of agreements “we need some agreements though.” You pointed out making him sit there in silence “we gotta be used to kissing for anyone to think we are together.” Both of you were more than physical so it was only logical to think that you would be making out with your boyfriend.

It made him smirk as his fingers traced figures on your knee “and how do we feel about casual sex?” Your cheeks turned red matching the shade of your bikini “not gonna have my boy fucking anyone else.” You grumbled making him smile “you should probably know how to kiss me then?” Luca teased making you scoff.

You rolled your eyes as you shook your head “you’re an ass you know that right?” You mumbled leaning forward as you cupped his cheek letting your lips graze his “and your boyfriend now too.” Luca pointed out as he grinned pecking your lips once more.

That was well over seven months ago and somehow you were still in this entire thing with Luca. The Christmas break was originally when you assumed that it would end. It would have been the perfect time for things to end but you actually found yourself no longer in love with Adam, instead with his brother.

Your friends were oblivious to the lies that your relationship lay on, sometimes you even thought that Luca opted to forget about it as well. He seemed so happy with his arm around you at parties as he would whisper those sweet nothings into your ear. But you started feeling like you were going insane, there was never the promise that he was yours.

Because whilst you hoped Luca was falling in love with you too, nothing made that feeling you felt in bed with him palatable. The hockey player would kiss your head and within an instant you were feeling like the only girl in the world, or at least that was how you felt until you were back in your dorm alone. Reminded of the fact, that Luca was yours for a mutual agreement that was meant to benefit you both.

It seemed that everyone became your worst enemy when you returned to campus from the December break. Every girl that looked at Luca, was all of a sudden flirting with him and you found yourself going insane. Of course Luca never went for any of them yet you thought that it was only out of respect for you. As you two grew further apart, the worst fears came through your mind as he seemed to have less and less time for you.

Part of you felt stupid though as you got upset because you two were never really together “look I want you there tonight in my jersey.” Luca spoke softly as he leaned against your bed “you sure that Maisie wouldn’t be better in it?” Your words were sharp as you turned to face him again.

It irritated him as he roll his eyes “if I wanted Maisie I would be in her room wouldn’t I?” The hockey player snapped taking you back, it wasn’t that he raised his voice. It was the fact that he made no effort to suppress your concerns, he never did “I don’t want to go if you want to act like that.” You grumbled as you looked down to the sleeves of your hoodie.

Luca watched you avoid his gaze “I need to get going.” He sighed looking at the time on his phone as he was soon to be late to the walk in “bye.” The boy mumbled leaving you with not even a kiss on the head as he left you alone.

You couldn’t help but frown as you pulled your legs closer “how were you this clueless?” You groaned staring at the first picture that was taken after you two started this lie. Luca had his arm wrapped around you as you grinned, both blissfully unaware of the camera that Adam used to take that picture. That moment in time felt so real yet now here you sat willing to give up everything to get back to that.

Just as anyone could have predicted the boys won, but as the celebrated the win one player seemed distracted. Luca stared at the door hoping you would show up. He still felt bad about leaving you in the way that he did “where is your girlfriend?” Rutger furrowed his eyebrows as he had grown used to see you by his side “she isn’t feeling well.” Luca lied as he frowned.

Rutger didn’t fall for the answer as he scoffed “Kayleigh was told about the fight.” You had grown close to the blonde over the last few months “look she just got jealous about Maisie.” Luca shoved his hands into his pockets.

It made the blonde boy laugh “you really think you being here when she’s not your real girlfriend-” Rutgers scoff was short lived when Luca’s hand slapped over his mouth “how do you know about that?” Luca’s voice was barely above a whisper as he began to wonder how many other people knew about it too.

The younger boy rolled his eyes “y/n told me about it in November when she got drunk.” Luca remembered that night, you had just had the worst week of tests and got drunk.

Rutger watched you fall into the seat next to him “you look happy.” He smiled holding his arm out for you to hug him “like loving Luca.” You confessed as you nodded letting a grin paint your face as you watched Luca excitedly win a game of beer pong.

The American was happy to see both of his closest friends in this relationship “but he doesn’t love me.” You added with a huff making the boy grow confused “you think your boyfriend doesn’t love you?” Rutger swore it was the alcohol talking as he sat up straight to look at you.

He watched you nod “it’s like fake dating.” You shrugged before your eyes went wide “don’t tell him!” You raised your voice causing people to look in your direction.

Rutger was quick to shush you “you guys are just telling people you’re together?” He cocked his head as you nodded “but I think I kind of love him now.” You huffed pressing your head against the couch behind you.

Luca felt his mouth go dry as Rutger recalled the interaction “I should go.” The Canadian nodded to himself as he got up “don’t you want to stay with Maisie.”Rutger teased knowing all too well about your issues with her.

The way Luca let his lips press into a fine line made him laugh “just go get your girl.” Rutger took the beer from the Fantilli boys hand as he ushered him off.

Luckily for him you hadn’t left your room, instead opting to call Adam as you missed your best friend “I’m sorry I’m not there for you.” Adam frowned as all you had said was that you and Luca had fought “is it wrong for me to wish that he didn’t go to that party?” Your question was met with a knock at your door that had both of you going quiet.

It was weird watching the door “y/n please can we talk?” Luca pleaded from the other side of the door “I think your wishes are going to be answered.” Adam smiled as he sent you a wave before he hung up.

You walked with caution to your door before you opened it “look I need you to be really honest with me right now.” The hockey player began as he pushed past you letting himself into your dorm “do I have to?” You whined looking at your feet.

He nodded watching you shut the door behind yourself “do you love me?” The question made your heart jump into your throat “of course I do I mean we’ve known each other forever.” You tucked your hair behind your ear as you let out a soft laugh.

But that only made him grow irritated “you know that it’s not what I’m asking about.” He pointed out as he crossed his arms “you don’t want to know my answer.” You quipped back as you chewed at the inside of your cheek.

The boy walked closer to you leaving you to step back until your back hit the door “like hell I don’t.” Luca raised his voice as he shook his head “look if you can’t maybe I should go.” He sighed taking a step back as tears formed in his waterline.

Your palms began to grow sweaty “yes I love you.” You blurted out seeing him freeze “I have for months but that wasn’t meant to happen so I try to hide it.” You rambled on not seeing how he smiled at the fact that your cheeks went red.

Part of Luca began to feel cruel as he let you carry on “look I want all of you, not some half ass agreement where you just end up in my bed.” You raked your fingers through your hair as you sighed trying to remain straight faced as the boy placed his hands on your waist “you have all of me.” His words were so simple yet they did so much for you.

He smiled as he stepped closer to you shutting the gap between you both “I want to be yours for real.” The hockey player mumbled as he nodded “I love you.” It was his turn to get talkative as you stood there in what felt like shock.

All of the months of dating under a false pretence lead up to this “do we want to do this for real then?” You cocked your head as you smiled “you don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that.” He nodded as he kissed your lips enjoying how it felt to know that you were finally all his.

Your hands wrapped around his neck pulling him close like you were scared to lose him “but just to be clear you will tell Maisie to go fuck herself if she continues flirting with you?” You pulled away making him laugh “think it might be funnier if you get the chance to do it for f’me.” Luca countered making you press your lips into a fine line.

He grinned as he pulled you even closer to him as he pulled the two of you onto your bed “I’m kidding!” He laughed as he kissed your lips once more knowing that he was going to enjoy his night with you where you were finally his.

[ur-local-anti-hero]

Dear John

Regulus Black x Reader

Summary: Maybe you should have listened to your best friend's warning about Regulus, you didn't. Now you just have to deal with the consequences.

Genre: Angst

CW: Intimidation, angst, pureblood's ideology, toxic family dynamics

Word count: 1.6K

This is part of my Speak now (Marauders' version) collection.

“Maybe it's you and your sick need. To give love then take it away

And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors, Who don't understand

And I'll look back and regret I ignored when they said, "Run as fast as you can"

You wished you had listened. The argument you had with Sirius when he learned you were dating his brother was being replayed in your head while you ran towards your boyfriend’s room. 

“He’s going to ruin you, you don’t know him like I do.” Sirius had said, voice low with anger and worry. “The moment my mother hears about you two it’s over.” 

“You’re the one that doesn’t know him!” It had angered you, Sirius assuming that Regulus’ love for you was fragile. “I really love him, and he loves me. End of discussion.” 

“You don’t understand what you’re getting into. My brother would never prioritize you over our mother. and she’s never going to accept a Gryffinfor Muggleborn as a suitable partner for Regulus” 

You knew he was right, but some part of you naively thought that Regulus truly loved you.

“I’m saying this because I care about you. You should leave while you can” you could tell Sirius was worried and meant no harm, but that argument ended your friendship with the oldest Black brother. 

That was almost a year ago, you used to have a close friendship with him, but now he wouldn’t even acknowledge you. You refused to break up with Regulus, and you really thought you were doing the right thing. Regulus had shown you every part of him, you knew about his family and all the things he had done and regretted. But you also knew about the caring, loving and kind person he was. 

Even when the war was starting to become more and more imminent as the dark lord and deatheaters won power and followers, he never showed any interest in joining into the dark lord’s lines. The abuse and intimidation became worse and worse for mugglerborns who had the bad luck of running into slytherings in the hallways. 

Regulus was very aware of it, he became like your shadow, never leaving your side until curfew forced him to. And he was the first to greet you every morning, waiting for you outside your house’s common room. 

At least it was like this before Christmas break. It had been a week since you come back from the break and Regulus was acting weird, at first you thought it was because he had to adapt again to Hogwarts - It took him some time to come back to his normal self ater staying in his house - but after a week of almost no contact with him you became worried. 

On your way to the dungeons you ran into Snape and Evan. You had tried to avoid them, head low and pace hurried, but it seemed like they had a special radar to spot possible victims for their tortures and mocking. They blocked your path, you were cornered against a wall as they got closer than it was safe. 

“Look who is here” Evan had teased you, his wand pointing at your face. “Regulus’ little pet”

“Why are you separated from your guardian dog?” Snape taunted you. “Has he finally realized that he’s got more important things to do rather than take care of a filthy mudblood?” 

You didn’t like a bit where the situation was going, you had tried to reach your wand, but Snape had noticed and raised his wand at you. 

“Don’t even think about it” 

“You know, Snape? I’m curious.” He hadn’t stopped looking at you. “What are you doing here, there’s no way you’re going to see Regulus right?”  

He knew exactly that it was the only reason you would ever step into the dungeons. His face turned into a look of fake pity. 

“Oh. Poor little thing, he hasn’t told you has he?” Evan was mocking you, playing with your psyche as all slytherings liked to, still his next words made your blood run cold. “He’s become the new right-hand for the dark lord. As he ought to, at the end of the day he’s a Black.” 

That’s when you started running, Snape and Evan probably tought it was enough torture to mess with your head and they let you pass them by without much hussle. 

And you ran all the way to the Slythering common room. Usually you wouldn’t dare to enter alone, but you needed to see Regulus. You didn’t want to believe Evan’s words, ‘He’s probably trying to confuse you, make you confront Regulus and cause an argument’. You were trying to convince yourself, but you couldn’t deny that the possibility was there. 

You made it to Regulus’ dorm, without even knocking you entered. Inside Regulus was laying in his bed, Barty was in one of the desks, working on homework, or a plan to destroy civilization. You didnt really care, all you could focus on was Reg. 

“Regulus” your voice didn’t feel like yourself, it was void of any emotion other than obvious tiredness from your running. 

Regulus jolted out of bed when he heard you. Barty turned around and his lips morphed into a teasing smirk. 

“Oh well, look who’s here -” “Leave, now.” Barty was cut short by Regulus’ demand, for a second you thought he was talking to you, but he was facing Barty. 

“okay, okay. No need to get aggressive…” Barty said before getting up from the chair. He walked past you, didn’t even acknowledge your presence, and closed the door behind him. 

───✥───

Regulus knew this was coming, there was no way you wouldn’t notice his absence or avoid entirely the rumors of the new deatheater in Hogwarts. He just wished it didn’t have to be this way. He coudn’t face you, from the start you and him were on opposite sides of the war, but he getting the mark was what made it definite. 

“Reg-” “What do you want?”

 Regulus’ voice was icy, not a single emotion in it. He saw you flinch at his tone. He never talked to you like that, his tone was always sweet and words picked with care whenever he referred to you. His change in demeanour angered and saddened you, he could tell. 

“Are you really asking me what I want?” your tone was colder now, you stepped closer with each word. “I’ve barely seen you for a week, and the moment I step into the dungeons the first thing I hear is that you’re the new right-hand for the dark lord. Please, tell me it’s not true”  

He could hear your voice crack and your waterline become wet with unsed tears. He knew you so well, he knew you were not going to cry, he knew you would give him the benefit of the doubt and hear him out. He knew that if he would tell you the truth, how he was forced and tortured to take the mark, you would understand, try to find a way to help and stand by his side. 

“It’s true” 

And he couldn’t allow that. If he were to let you in again, he wouldn’t be able to do what he had to do. End things, for your sake. 

“You’re lying to me, this is all a big joke, it has to be” you cried. 

He didn’t reply, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. At his silence you reached for his sleeve, pulling it up. He didn’t even flinch, and he let you stare at his bare arm. Well, not bare, as the deatheater mark was there, taking up half of his arm. 

You dropped his arm and stared at him in absolute shock. He didn’t say anything, that was angered the most, how he was not even able to say anything. 

“You didn’t want to, right?” he stayed silent “Please, say something” you implored. 

“It's my duty, it’s what 's right.” he deadpanned. 

You chuckled humorlessly “What’s right? That 's right? You’re joining a pureblood supremacist cult, there’s nothing right about it!”  

“And what about us, do I mean that little to you? Does our relationship mean anything at all to you?”  you said in a softer tone. 

“No. It was a mistake, from the start. I shouldn’t have dated a mudblood” Regulus had to make an enormous effort to not flinch at his own words. But this would make you leave, it had to. 

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry, but the heartbreak you were feeling was unlike anything you’d ever felt. Regulus had been able to make you feel special, loved for almost two years. He held your heart in his hands and treated it with care, now he was ripping it and giving back to you. 

He didn’t want to fight for your love and you were not going to beg anymore. 

“You’re right. It’s funny, really, Sirius warned me this would happen, but I was too blinded to see that he was right” bringing up Sirius was a low blow, you knew how much he meant for Regulus. But at that moment all you wanted was to make him feel the same heartbreak you were feeling. 

“At the end of the day you’re a Black.” You repeated the same words Evan had said to you on your way to the dungeons. 

Regulus just stood there and nodded. You left his room, clearly distressed and crying. Regulus’ heart was shattered beyond repair. However, this was the best option. He would rather see you leaving, crying and heartbroken for the last time in his life, than lying on the floor lifeslessly as his family had promised if he didn’t leave you and took the mark. 

At the end of the day he was really just a Black, it was the family he was born to and the family he’ll die for. 

Author's note: this one is so sad, I'm sorry Thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are welcomed and very appreciated. I'd love to hear what you thought about it so don't be shy!! To be part of the taglist Dm me or send me an ask <3 Taglist @feral-posts @izuoyarmin @aremuslupinsim @yourfavgay @imobsessedwitholiviarodrigo 

[annie-creates]

I'm yours

Pairing: Lady Lesso x reader

Genre: fluff (basically)

Words: 1800

Note: This is a final part to Barely a friend and The roses you sowed, can be also read as a stand alone. It's a bit suggestive but no real smut. Big thank you to everyone supporting these fanfics, your kind messages mean the world. <3

Three weeks. That’s how long Lesso had to watch you and your almost boyfriend walk around the school, chatting, teaching and laughing together. She couldn’t stand the sight of you two, but the moments she was locked up in her own school and imagined what you must be doing were even worse. Her jealousy was eating her alive. Rationally she knew she had no possession over you, yet she couldn’t help but feel like she’s loosing her property. Not that you were a thing of course… but to her you were in a way.

She was stupid to break things off with you in the first place. She thought she didn’t care. She was just having sex with you, nothing exclusive. Just casual. Nothing personal. But like most people she didn’t actually realize what she had until she lost it. She thought you’re just getting too attached, too demanding. And she didn’t realize she too got attached to you. She didn’t know she’s gonna miss you so.

But the dean of evil isn’t someone to just lure around in her own misery and give up. No, if she’s going down, she’s taking you with her, and that stupid prince of yours. He won’t have what she can’t have. Lesso doesn’t care about your stupid feeling of fake happiness, your love, or your happy ending. You won’t have one if it isn’t with her in it. Even if it’s the last thing she’s gonna do as the head of this school. But she couldn’t uncover herself too early so she had to play a waiting game for the right opportunity to take you back.

Lesso wasn’t one for patience. Lucky for her she didn’t have to wait too long for you to have a lonely walk through her corridors. Your prince charming was nowhere to be found, probably too scared of the wicked place. You never know what lurks in the dark shadows of the school for evil. Obviously you had more courage than the head full of golden locks. This was her chance to swoop you and get her word in, since you’ve been avoiding her like a plaque.

“What’s such beauty princess doing in a place like this?” her words startled you, but you didn’t run. You haven’t heard them in so long you missed them instantly.

“Duty business.” you answered shortly turning around, not sure what you’re going to see. Was she not mad at you anymore? “Don’t worry I won’t bother you here, I’m already on my way anyway.” your words were suddenly ice cold to her. But this was the chance she was waiting for, she can’t let you get away, Lesso realized.

“Not so fast.” she caught your wrist, spinning you around and bumping you into the wall. The ruthless dean was finally back and she won’t let you run off that easily. “Tell me is that what you really want? That stupid little prince instead of me?” her eyes were hard but curious.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” your voice was suddenly little and unsure. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, you could never resist Lesso and your body was betraying you.

“Oh you know very well what I’m talking about. Does he make you feel better than I did? Does he fuck you good? Does he know how to get your pretty sounds out?” she suggestively whispered into your ear and her knee in between your legs got a pathetic whimper out of you.

“You’re evil…” was all you had the energy to say right now but you couldn’t fall back to her that easily.

“Thank you darling.” her wicked smile made your blood boil. Who did she think she is, handling you like this? Making you weak in the knees again? “You’re mine you hear me? Only mine to ruin, mine to make you cry, mine to make you laugh.” She ordered into your ear.

“No, I’m not doing this again. Get the hell off me!” you pushed her away with an angry huff and folded your hands over your chest. “If this is all you care about, you clearly aren’t worth it to me. You really are the devil.” Your boldness left Leonora utterly speechless.

“If that’s all Lady Lesso, I’m going to get back to my work. Goodbye.” You smoothed out your dress and went on your way trying to pretend this never happened and trying to appear absolutely unbothered.

She didn’t see you after that until the next teachers’ conference. She sat in the pompous library of the school for good, listening to the program with just half the ear. Her eyes were fixed on you and the teacher next to you. She couldn’t believe you’d actually choose him over her. What did he have to offer? Nothing, absolutely nothing of any real value.

“Are you alright Lady Lesso?” Dovey asked her concerned after the meeting ended and she wasn’t the first one to run out of the room. She remained seated, making her the last one in here.

“I just have a lot on my mind.” Lesso admitted under the searching look of the dean of good. “What’s going on between Y/n and the new guy?” she couldn’t help but ask after a minute.

“Probably something happy and lovely.” Dovey shrugged her shoulders, not understanding why is the other dean so invested in the young teacher all of a sudden. “Why, does prince Phillip interest you?”

“Pfff, not at all. He’s just a peacock with an ego so high he’s gonna fall off.” she waved her hand.

“You know, Y/n has spent many many years here not having a happy ending. Don’t screw it up for her, will you?” Clarissa warned her counterpart leaving the library herself.

Leonora couldn’t help but wonder if he’s really the happy ending everyone keeps bitching about around here. She wouldn’t know cause she, like every never, was never granted one. She was destined to spend her life alone and abandoned by everyone she ever even thought to care about. Were you one of them? Or was she your villain, fated to break your heart? Those questions kept waking her up and she decided to pay you a visit to settle her mind once and for all.

“Come in.” your sweet morning voice invited her into your office, still sounding half asleep. She unsurely opened the door, hoping you won’t kick her out immediately.

“Good morning.” she said stepping into your office and closing the door. The only answer she got was your curious look and a slightly lifted brow. “I… have brought you a coffee.” she placed the mug on your table.

“What brings you here?” you asked instead your eyes not leaving her form for even a second.

“I need to talk to you.” Lesso admits.

“About?” you were getting tired of having to drag everything out of her. Leonora sighed and sat in one of the chairs in front of your table.

“Do you really think I’m the devil in disguise?” she asked, never knowing what you actually thought of her, but suddenly she cared to know.

“I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know you one bit.” you admitted. You desperately wanted to know her well, but her character seemed to be one of a chameleon. You’d think one thing for a moment and she’d turn out to be something completely different the next minute. “And I’ll admit I wanted to, but there’s a lot to you.”

“Do you love him? That Phillip guy?” this time it wasn’t taunting, maybe a bit insecure if you’d have to guess. But it was the dean of evil for fucks sake, she wasn’t insecure about anything.

“Love is a strong word.” You diverted your eyes as you didn’t want to answer directly, you weren’t quite sure where your feelings were at the moment yourself.

“Everyone here thinks he’s your true love.” was she really sad now? She looked sad… but why would she even care? She was here in your office, that had to count for something. She wouldn’t come into the school for good for just any reason.

“I thought it was you.” you admitted after a little pause. “I thought I loved you. I thought you were my happily ever after. The one true person to love me unconditionally.” you shook your head. “But I’m disgusting, remember? Repulsive… so why do you care?”

“That’s not true…”

“You’ve said it.” Your tone was uncompromising.

“But I didn’t mean it.” Lesso stood firmly by her word.

“Yes you did! You meant everything you’ve said about me! You think I’m stupid. You couldn’t be with someone so low.” you raised your voice. Leonora couldn’t help but wince at the harsh words you reminded her of saying. How could she ever say such things was beyond her now.

“No I didn’t! I thought you were getting attached, excessive, yes. I didn’t realize it was both of us! I didn’t know I love you! I know I’ve hurt you beyond repair, I know I did okay? I messed up. I screwed it. I don’t know what to do with those things. Those feelings.” Lesso jumped out of her seat waving her hands around to make a point. You on the other hand were sitting in your chair speechless which gave her space to express her thoughts.

“You love me?” you asked surprised, hoping for it to be true or for her to deny it and break your heart for finality.

“Of course I love you. I wanna be your stupid happily ever after or whatever.” she admitted slouching back into her seat with her head down frustratingly huffing in defeat. “You’re like a breathing tube in my throat. No matter how annoying you might get I still can’t live without you.”

“I’m sure you’d survive…” you tried to calm her down a little.

“No I wouldn’t. I feel it. It’s literally eating me alive.” Lesso explained. You rose from your chair and went around the table to sit in her lap finally ready to forgive her.

“Then no more arguments, no more pushing away and no more sneaking around.” you dictated your conditions.

For the first time in your rocky relationship Lesso was eager to obey you. With her confirmation you finally kissed her, something she was desperate for for what felt like ages now. No matter how hard you tried you’ll always fall right into her arms. Maybe that was your evil curse. She couldn’t believe she was stupid enough to ever let you go.

“You are mine.” she wasn’t exactly pleased with the little nod you gave her.

“Say it.” she begs into your ear squeezing your waist as to never let you go.

“I’m yours.”

[bluesylveon2]

And At Last I See the Light

This is my entry for the @merotwst and @cvlutos' contest. Also, I heard that it was your birthday, so happy birthday to @merotwst!!! Thank you for answering all of my questions, even though I started writing his a few days ago. I hope you like this fic I word vomited wrote based on "I See the Light" from Tangled (it's my favorite Disney song and it screamed Jamil) 😁

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

Note: Reader is referred to as "the Prefect" and is female, set during Book 5 (let's pretend that Jamil can sneak and the snow has melted some), and lots of symbolism

Word Count: 1246

Warnings: not beta read, possible OOC characters, and lots of exposition in the beginning

Jamil was used to being below Kalim. No matter if it was in studies, exercises, or games, Kalim had to outshine him in it all. If Kalim was a warm sunny day in the summer, then Jamil was a cold dark night in the winter. 

Everyone preferred the summer, just as everyone preferred Kalim. 

No one looked Jamil’s way. No one asked about how he felt. No one wanted to spend their days in the moonlight when they could sleep until sunrise. In short, no one wanted him to shine his light on them. In turn, Jamil was blinded by the sun that he could not see the world around him. The male was subjected to dreaming about a life where he was free.  

When Jamil saw his life become stagnant, he was determined to change it. The air became colder, and the night was longer when Jamil enacted his plan. Unfortunately, his plan was ruined by the Ramshackle Prefect, her cat monster, and the annoying Octanvielle trio. 

Life after the incident had slightly improved. He still served Kalim, but the Housewarden started seeing him as equal despite their positions. Jamil would not say it aloud, but it was a small step in the right direction. 

Another change included his relationship with the Prefect. The two had gotten on friendlier terms after he made up for trapping her and Grim in Scarabia and dealing with his overblot (read: he made a big apology meal for her and helped with anything she asked). The two had become even closer during the VDC training camp. 

It was during the time when the snow began to melt, and after everyone was asleep, was when the Prefect would stargaze outside the dorm. However, all except one was asleep the first time it happened. Jamil, having to be constantly alert in case an assassin was nearby, woke up to the sound of a creaking floor down the hall. He grabbed his magical pen and followed a dark shadow heading out of the dorm. He maintained a reasonable distance from the figure until the moonlight hit the figure’s frame. Jamil realized that the person he followed was the Prefect all along. An average person would immediately turn around and go back to sleep, but his feet moved automatically, and he joined her instead.

That night, Jamil had stayed up for hours getting to know the Prefect without using a fake persona or with no ill intentions. The Prefect treated him like she had known him for a long time. She had even defended him when Vil questioned Jamil’s eyebags that morning. Usually, Jamil would have told the truth, but he enjoyed spending alone time with the Prefect. He learned more about the Prefect’s world and her love of stargazing. In turn, the Prefect learned about different places Jamil wanted to see. 

Their nightly stargazing continued during his time at the training camp. After a few nights, Jamil realized how blind he was about everything. 

All his days were spent watching outside the windows of Kalim’s house. All of the years of the world moving, he yearned to see it. He never knew if anyone would look his way or ask anything about him, yet that person was in front of him all along. That person was sitting beside him, basking in the moonlight, retelling a story about an incident regarding her friends and the Heartslabyul Housewarden. It was when she laughed that Jamil saw everything clearly. His heartbeat increased, his body felt light, and he began to think about the Prefect more throughout the day. Jamil realized that night that he would follow the Prefect to the ends of the world. He wanted to show her the world because he knew she was where he was meant to go.

When the Prefect first arrived at Twisted Wonderland, she dreamed of when she would finally return to her world. Her mind was focused on going home and initially tried to ignore the world around her. However, she began to doubt her dream after meeting Grim, ADeuce, and the other NRC students. One person who stood out to her was Jamil Viper. Her perspective of him changed after the incident in Scarabia. She forgave him after everything because she saw his true self and how amazing and talented he was. The Prefect never looked down on him or saw him as average. She treated him as an equal.

Now, as the Prefect lay on the soft blanket at a short distance next to the male in question, she realized something as they stared at the twinkling stars in content silence. During her months of staying in this world, of her blindly hoping for the better, she grew to love how things were. The Prefect had love from her friends, entertainment from the Ramshackle ghosts, and support from her professors. Most importantly, she had Jamil. Although Kalim was the sun personified, she always noticed Jamil despite him staying in the shadows. Now, everything seemed crystal clear; she saw him. He was a light that felt warm and real, like sunshine on a summer day. 

“Hey, Jamil?” The Prefect turned to the raven-haired male, and he hummed in response. “What is your favorite season?”

Jamil raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the Prefect, “what’s with the sudden question?”

The Prefect turned to stare into Jamil’s gray eyes, “I’m just curious. So what is it?”

“Summer, because summers in the Scalding Sands are nice. It is also a good time to take a vacation.”

The Prefect chuckled, “You deserve one, Jamil.”

Jamil nodded in agreement, “What is your favorite season?”

“Definitely winter.”

Jamil raised an eyebrow, “Really? Why?”

“Well, there is snow and lots of fun holidays. The nights are longer too. In summer, the nights are short, so the moon is not out for long,” The Prefect looked up at the bright full moon, “In winter, the moon is out longer, like now. I like to use that time to look up and stare at it. I prefer it more than the sun. Besides-” The Prefect glanced at Jamil, “Don’t you think the moon looks beautiful tonight?”

Jamil felt his breath hitch. He could not explain it, but the Prefect’s words seemed to impact him unexpectedly. Jamil thanked the darkness for covering up his blush, and he prayed that she could not hear his rapid heartbeat. 

Meanwhile, the Prefect was having an internal battle about her boldness. Jamil may not know the implications behind her words, but she meant everything. She would focus on spending time with him and let him see another day.  

“Yeah. It really is,” The Prefect’s eyes widen due to Jamil’s voice sounding closer than before. She turned her head and was face to face with him, with his eyes staring straight at her. Both had red faces.

They stared at each other like it was their first time seeing the light. Their hidden feelings began to reveal as if the fog around them had lifted, the sky was anew, and the world shifted to focus on them. No one knew whose hands moved first, but Jamil had one hand on the Prefect’s cheek while both of her hands cupped his face. They moved closer until their lips barely touched each other. 

Now they saw each other as a new light grew between them. The two people complimented each other like summer and winter, or the sun and the moon.

A/N: I'm kinda proud of it although I wish I started later. Again, I hope you liked it @merotwst. Jamil is my favorite character so I hope I did him justice!

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[artist-issues]

I’m really curious, as another Christian, I’d love to get your thoughts on the Messianic archetype that I’ve seen associated with Shadow. Do you find it accurate?

I don’t, personally. I mean, I see the connection: he does sacrifice himself and then come “back to life.” But Shadow is a super flawed guy who’s love for the people he saves is kind of…borrowed. It’s a hand-me-down from Maria. Most of the time, he’s just saving the world for one of two reasons. 1) To keep his promise because he loved her, and 2) because he likes defeating people who think they can beat him or threaten his turf.

Besides, usually, a Messianic archetype doesn’t just save the world or come back from apparent death. Usually, the messianic archetype was also prophesied. And truthfully, Shadow wasn’t ever prophesied. But Sonic kinda was, if you take that whole “echidna-ruins-mural-of-Super-Sonic” thing seriously.

Actually, I know none of us likes to talk about Sonic ‘06, but Sonic does fulfill more Messiah checkboxes than any other character in his series. He dies and comes back to life. Like I said, if you take the Storybook series or even the echidna-mural thing seriously, he’s a prophesied hero. He always saves the world. He knows exactly who he is, and everyone around him winds up figuring out what “the right thing to do” is just by watching Sonic.

Shadow, on the other hand, doesn’t always succeed in his mission to save people. Also, the few times we’ve seen him save the world, he usually caused part of the threat himself. So he’s having to clean up his own mess. And, Sonic is usually helping him.

I think what’s so neat about Shadow is that he’s another cool lens to look at the general theme of Sonic media through. Every Sonic character is a different lens, but they’re all pointed at the same theme, and it’s something like, “Who are you going to choose to be? Chase that, no matter what gets in your way.”

Sonic is the only character in his series (other than Eggman) who’s never worried about his own identity, never wonders who he is; he knows exactly who he is and always acts accordingly. You’re never seeing Sonic unsure of what to do, or confused about himself, or insecure.

But every other character has to go on that journey of “who am I? and can I follow through even when there are obstacles in my way?” Knuckles has this whole “last of my kind, can I live up to my heritage, what’s the best way to do my duty” thing. Amy spends the first few games convinced that who she is is Sonic’s one true love, and trying to follow through on that even if there are obstacles in her way—but having to figure out that there’s more to life than just that. Tails is a great example: he takes all his clues about who he is from following Sonic around, and being a good helper to Sonic—but then has to figure out who he is and what he can do when Sonic isn’t around.

And then you’ve got Shadow. Who he is was literally spelled out for him: “you’re the protector of humanity.”—but then the obstacles in his way turned out to be “humanity sucks and it hates me, and I’m not too fond of humanity, either.” Then other obstacles wind up being him literally forgetting the answer to the question “who am I?” or being told that who he is is fake, etc. He’s probably the most complicated lens to look at Sonic’s theming through.

Anyway thank you for coming to my ramble 🙈

[rattlyglitch]

The Friends of the Heart

The first week at Night Raven College didn't go as Lilia had expected it to. The plan set up was that Lilia and Silver would be staying a a random shackle on the grounds campus. When a new student suddenly appeared during a meeting between the housewardens and was given the dorm as a place to stay, the plan went out to the widow.

The next plan was for Lilia to be given the biggest room in Diasmonia. The room was secluded enough to where Lilia could wake up and get Silver out of the dorm and to Sam's shop before any other students awoke. So far no one had suspected anything from Lilia but the rumor of a student having a child at the school did spread quickly.

Lilia didn't mind the rumors and brought on the rumors happily even giving his own thoughts on the rumors. Though they were fake theories it was fun to be able to stir the pot of mystery just a bit more in the elaborate prank he decided to play.

////////////

Silver was enjoying his first week as much as Lilia was. Sam was a kind person and his shadow people were nice too. One looked like Sam while the others looked like the posable plastic figures in stores with clothes on them. They would play with Silver whenever there was nothing for him to do either rolling around a ball with him or playing guessing games to figure out what kind of animal or thing they were making shadows of.

At the moment it was mid-afternoon and two people entered the shop. One of them was short and had red hair and a cape while the other had glasses and green hair. Silver went behind the shop counter where Sam was and climbed up on his stool to see them better. "Hi," Silver said waving to the two. Sam who hadn't realized someone had entered and had been organizing behind the counter stood up.

"Oh, hello my little imps. It's wonderful to see you and Mr. Trey again Mr.Riddle." The red-haired boy didn't seem to care too much about the formalities Sam had said. Silver had learned that being nice, especially to loyal customers helped to make sure that people came back to the shop. "It is also a pleasure to see you again" the red hair boy replied. Silver though his name being Riddle made sense. His eyes seemed to hide some kind of secret behind them that needed to be solved like a Riddle.

It was a sad one though and Silver wasn't sure if he wanted to be the one to solve it. "May I ask why you have a child here?" Mr.Riddle asked looking at Silver. "I didn't think children his age would be allowed on the school grounds." Sam only smiled and placed a finger over his lips. "I can't exactly tell you why but Crowley made an exception for him and since he did that I now have a little helper around my shop."

Silver could feel Mr.Riddle looking at him while Mr.Trey had gone off to look for something. He felt awkward like he was being analyzed. Silver remembered his Papa did that whenever he was trying to scare someone off. He was about to leave before being handed a lollipop by the red-haired boy. It was heart-shaped and looked delicious. "It would be best to save that till after you have lunch so that you don't ruin your appetite. Now Trey are you ready to go?" Mr.Riddle asked before turning around and looking at his friend.

"Yes, I have everything needed." Sam helped Mr.Riddle and Mr.Trey check out. As they went to leave Silver decided to quickly call out to Mr.Riddle. "Mr.Riddle enjoy your day and next time you come back. Come back with a smile! Please!" Mr.Riddle walked off with his friend leaving what Silver said unanswered. Silver didn't mind that though and hoped he would return happier next time. He decided since lunch was so far away though to eat the lollipop. It tasted like cherries.

///////////

Silver was walking around the school grounds near the statues when he met three new people. He had been interested in the statues of the seven and decided to wander off towards them. He was sure that Sam wouldn't mind since he was somewhere on the campus and delivering something to another student.

Silver was at the moment most interested in the statue of the fae queen Maleficent. He had read stories about her and they always seemed happy. At the moment he had been trying to climb onto the statue and get a better look. Every attempt seemed to be unsuccessful until someone seemingly helped him up.

Silver turned around to see who was there and saw a boy with orange hair. The front was tied back in a ponytail. "Thanks for helping me Mister" Silver replied to the orange-haired boy with a diamond on his face before turning around to look up at the statue. Two people could be heard walking up and Silver turned around. He saw a shorter boy with reddish-orange hair and a heart on his face and another with blue hair.

"Cater there you are we were about to ask-" the blue-haired boy looked at Silver confused. "Cater where did you get this child?" The taller orange-haired person shrugged. "I kinda just found him trying to climb this statue. OMG, he must be that rumored kid that everyone's talking about. I have to get a picture with him." Silver watched as Cater stood in front of him and snapped a quick selfie getting both of them in it. After the picture was taken he turned around and began typing on his phone quickly. The blue-haired boy walked over and lifted Silver off of the statue's podium and held him in his arms.

"We need to get him back to whoever he was with." The heart man looked around. "Well, I don't see anyone nearby Deuce. Maybe we should take him to the head mage's office?" Silver shook his head quickly. He didn't know why but the headmage seemed weird. He acted airheaded as his Papa had called it. Silver didn't exactly know what he did and didn't care.

"Take me to Mr'S. I want Mr'S." The smaller orange-haired boy looked around confused. "I don't see him anywhere." Silver pointed at a shadow that seemed to be moving around. "Mr'S appears if you poke it." The smaller orange-haired boy, Cater, and Deuce both seemed confused. Ace who Silver learned was the orange-haired boy that had shorter hair was chosen though as the brave soul ("more like a sacrifice" Ace had said) to go over and poke the shadow that seemed to be moving around from place to place.

As soon as he did poke it Sam popped up from the shadow like Silver had said. He looked frantic and looked at Ace before looking over to Deuce and Cater and hurried over taking Silver out of Deuce's arms. "Now now little man. I'm not angry but you can't scare me like that. I would be in a lot of trouble if anything happened to you." Silver looked at Sam with an apologetic look on his face. "Sorry, Mr.Sam. I just wanted to look at statues."

Sam seemed calmed by Silver's words and sighed. "Thank you three for watching him for that short bit. If you come by the shop whatever you want is half off just thank you." Deuce gave a nod. "We were happy to watch him. It would be bad if anything happened." Cater let out a disappointed pout. "Can he come by and visit the dorm sometime? I would love to see him again. Plus he's going viral on Magicam."

Cater held out his screen to Sam showing him all the fame that was happening from the one photo Cater had taken alone. "I don't know if it's a good idea to post photos through diamond bro. I'm not his dad. He can visit again though just refrain from the photos unless I get the ok from his papa." Cater gave Sam a thumbs up.

"Ok, no more photos. But omg is he cute? Anyway, ttyl and thanks for agreeing to let us see him again." Silver waved by to Cater, Deuce, and Ace as Sam walked back to the shop carrying him.

//////////

A month later The five students returned to Sam's shop. Silver was excited to see them again. Especially since Mr.Riddle was smiling and seemed happier than he had before. "Hi again. Welcome back." Cater was awed upon seeing Silver and went over and squished his cheeks. "You're as cute as I was the last time I saw you." Silver giggled and hugged Cater. "It's nice to see you again Mr.Cater."

Cater looked like he had been told he won the lottery and was at a loss for words. "Oh hi, Mr.Riddle," Silver said waving at him. "You two Ace, Deuce, and Trey." Ace and Deuce gave Silver a wave while Trey went over and high-fived him. Riddle on the other hand gave him another lollipop and a small smile appeared on his face. "I'll go get Sam" Silver replied before going off to the back and walking out with him.

"Why welcome back loyal customers? How may I help you again today?" Sam showed them around while Silver played with the shadow people again. Trey, Ace, Cater, Deuce, and Riddle's shadows seemed to turn into the shadow people and they joined in on the fun. Once it was time for the five of them to check out Silver went back to the counter with Sam.

"Thanks for visiting and come again," Sam said waving goodbye to them. Silver also waved but decided to call out to Riddle. "Hey, Mr.Riddle thanks for coming back again smiling!" Riddle turned to look at Silver and gave him a nod. "Thanks, Silver for welcoming me back with a smile."

(Just in case anyone was wondering the reason why Riddle was happier was because when he met Silver again at the end of the month his overblot had happened and he felt more at peace when he started to relax some and no doubt was helped by the other four.)

Prologue, Chapter 1 Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

[aimfor-theheart]

Act II

|| kaeya alberich x afab!reader || E/18+ || hurt/comfort/fluff || wc: 37k || ao3 || masterlist || Act III -> coming soon! ||

When you, a beloved artist and performer of Mondstadt, attract the attention of the Fatui, there is only one person you seek out for help; the infamous Cavalry Captain of the Ordo Favonius, Mondstadt's beloved bastard.

minors and ageless blogs dni, 18+ only

❀ give me a world masterlist ❀

❀ for you are the world (as i am in pieces) - @lorelune ❀

a/n: hello! i am two days late, but here is the second act!! instead of splitting into multiple parts/posts, i just linked the ao3 at the bottom to continue reading! 37k is actually insane of me. i struggled a great deal with this act and it was the source of a lot of frustration but...i am ultimately happy with how it turned out <33 big shout out to my buddies @lorelune who helped me a lot and beta-ed parts, as well as @suguwu who beta-ed and gave me some great feedback on this act, and finally, @acerathia for beta-ing and giving me feedback as well! i am very appreciative of all your help! also please go check out lore's lovely diluc fic linked above as part of this collab!! without further ado, here is act ii! i would love to hear your feedback!! your thoughts!! your predictions! anything! thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoy <3

tags: afab reader (she/her pronouns but is rather gender fluid/binds her chest sometimes and presents both femme and masc), alcohol use, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of stalking/full on stalking from the fatui to the reader, smut, oral (f!receiving), use of "good girl", friends with benefits, somewhat unclear and messy dynamics, mentions of heartbreak/abandonment issues, bodyguard au technically, fake dating au technically, angst, hurt/comfort

SCENE I

Somewhere dark and stone, dripping, and cave-like. Shadows press and shudder and shift. This is an unknown place and sharply different to Mondstadt’s gold and sky. Confined and cold. Each sound should echo softly or loudly, should repeat itself over and over again. 

Kaeya moves with his back to us, slipping among the darkness as if he might belong there. 

Kaeya has spent nearly an entire day attempting to tail one of the Fatui members he knows is keeping tabs on you. There’s three, he believes, and they rotate in shifts, much like he, Diluc, Jean, and Venti rotate being near you. 

For the first time in a long time, he hasn’t spent his entire day with you. Nor the previous. Venti stayed with you in your own home and now you’re with Jean. 

He hates to admit it, but he’s become rather accustomed to watching over you. 

But he needs answers for you, so he’s been running all over the city, searching for their reasoning. 

This is the closest he’s gotten to a new discovery; this ruin beneath the earth, ducking and weaving through an old, stone crypt of some sort. 

He realizes rather quickly it must be some secret meeting place for the Fatui in the city, especially those dealing with the Abyss Order.  

The narrow hall opens up into a larger space where an old desk, piled with papers and maps sits under lantern light. Shadows grow large and spindly on the floor. On the stone walls are photos and torn notebook paper, pinned and plastered together, a collage of secrets. 

Kaeya peers carefully from his hiding spot to get a better look. 

He wants to look at that desk, all the information atop it. He’s certain there must be something there of use, even a greater hint. But he needs this member to leave. 

Kaeya picks up a stone, smooth and cool to the touch. He has to play this carefully. 

There’s an adjacent hallway across this room. It leads to further darkness. And with the Fatui member’s back turned to him, facing the desk, if he can aim well enough, he’ll be able to–

Kaeya throws the stone and watches it sail through the air, finding it’s mark as it clatters into the bend of the wall down the hallway. He flattens himself to his own wall, waiting and listening. 

“Who's there?” The Fatui member calls and Kaeya holds his breath.

“Hello?” Again, before he hears their footsteps stride towards the hallway Kaeya had thrown the stone in and away from him. 

He waits as they retreat, deeper and deeper, echoing softly. 

He knows he won’t have much time now. 

As silently and quickly as possible, he rushes to the desk. His eye flies over all of the papers and maps and scribbling notes. 

Your name jumps out to him. He skims. 

Vision: Pyro 

Strength: Low

Intelligence: High

-Not a fighter

-Use discretion; known and beloved by Mondstadt and other nations. 

Kaeya searches harder, shuffling through the papers a little. 

There’s a ledger with all the places you’d gone, every single day. There are notes about where best to kidnap you and Kaeya’s stomach sours as he reads words like use force. And torture if necessary. 

But what is it they think you know? What would they need to torture out of you? 

He moves another piece of paper, only to catch sight of something that makes his heart stop. 

Your diary. 

There’s no mistaking it. He’d know it anywhere now. 

How do they have this? It should’ve been in his home or safe with you. 

Horror sweeps through him–they don’t–they couldn’t have taken you, could they? 

You’re with Jean, he tries to rationalize. Had you hidden your diary again? Had they found it? 

If you hid it, had you snuck away from Venti or Jean in the last day or so? His mind spins sharply. 

Footsteps echo. 

He’s out of time. 

He disappears down his own hallway, heart ricketing in his chest wildly. If they had you, would you be here? Should he search? Is he being unreasonable? 

He’ll go to Jean first. 

Use force. 

You’ll be with Jean. And if you’re not, Jean will organize a rescue party. He’s found their hideout. 

Torture if necessary. 

Kaeya breaks the surface of the world with a new urgency. The day is melting into evening and the light nearly blinds him a moment as he stumbles out. He doesn’t have time, he breaks into a sprint. His mind flashes hotly, imagines he wish he could never conjure. Images of you tied up, bloody, beaten–

He runs towards the city gates fast and hard. 

Strength: Low 

He shouldn’t have pawned you off on others–he should’ve stayed beside you. This whole time. He should’ve had Diluc look for the Fatui, he shouldn’t have bid you goodbye yesterday. He should’ve checked in with you. 

His ribs ache, his legs burn. He doesn’t stop. 

What was he thinking? You’re practically a sitting duck. He knows this. 

Not a fighter. 

You wouldn’t stand a chance against them. What if Jean is already searching for him because you’ve been taken? He imagines bursting into the city to find her or Venti or Diluc, with some pale look on their face. 

The knights on watch must know something is wrong as he runs beneath the gates–they call after him, but don’t stop him. 

“Where’s Jean?” He barks to the one trying to catch up to him. 

“Headquarters, I think!” 

Kaeya veers sharply for Headquarters. 

He prays he’ll burst through the door and find you there, with Jean. You’ll be pestering her as the sun sets, chirping and flitting around her office while she tries to get paperwork done. You’ll be there, he tries to tell himself, you will be. They must’ve just nicked your diary. 

He throws open the door to Headquarters, rounds the corner and bursts into Jean’s office. Jean is standing on the opposite side of her desk, back facing Kaeya and–

You’re nowhere to be found. 

His stomach drops. 

“Jean,” he says her name sharply, a note of desperation. “Where is she?” 

Jean turns, startled by his appearance, by his urgency, but–

“I left her with Venti. They said they were going to Angel’s Share to perform some songs.” Jean steps towards him, “why? What’s wrong?” 

“They have her diary.” Kaeya gets out, rushing out the door of her office. 

“Kaeya!” She barks after him, but he’s already pushing his way out of Headquarters. He won’t rest, not until he sees you, until you’re right in front of him. “What are you–where was her diary?” 

“I don’t know,” Kaeya snaps, taking stairs two at a time, “I thought it was at my apartment but she’s always hiding it and–” He breaks into another run, heading towards the tavern, “when did you leave her with Venti?” 

“I don’t know,” Jean gets out, keeping pace with him, “a few hours ago, maybe? I had a lot to do–” 

Kaeya curses under his breath. 

“I still don’t know what they want with her but–their notes were about using force. Or–” he can’t get the word out. “They think she knows something.” 

“About what?” 

“I don’t know.” Kaeya bites out. 

He rounds the corner to Angel’s Share sharply and Jean takes it with him. 

“I’m sure she’ll be here with Venti.” Jean gets out, attempting to be calm with him. She’s attempting to be a leader. 

Kaeya throws open the door, gaze flying across the room and–

He doesn’t see you. 

His blood runs cold. 

For once, he wishes it was Diluc at the bar, but it’s Charles. 

“Has Venti been here?” And then he asks for you, too, says your name with a shot voice. 

Charles shakes his head, “haven’t seen either of them at all today. They were supposed to play music tonight, I think–” 

Kaeya doesn’t let him finish. He rushes out. 

He has half a mind to start shouting like a lunatic for you, all over the city, wandering like a mad man with your name a cry on his lips. 

“Maybe they went to her house before–” Jean tries to rationalize, but he can tell she is beginning to fret, too. 

Kaeya is already ahead of her, rushing towards your home on the hill in the city. He can’t help his pace, the run he breaks into again. He tries to think of you throwing open the door, laughing at his worry. Where else would you be? He wants to hear you say. 

But when he pounds on the door, there is no answer. Not a peep. Your little space is quiet. 

“Do you have a key?” Jean asks, but Kaeya doesn’t have the time. 

He takes a step back only to kick in the door easily, letting it fly open on its hinges. 

(He promises he’ll get you a new door, a better one, one that isn’t so flimsy–that could be so easily broken into. He thinks of you asleep here, with a door like that, and his worry grows insurmountably.)

He shouts your name as he enters. 

No answer. 

He storms the place. Your bedroom, your bathroom, all familiar and all so empty. 

“Venti!” Jean calls, and then your own name, too, as she searches. 

Nothing. 

“You know how they are,” Jean tries to rationalize, “they’re always getting up to trouble. They could be anywhere.” 

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Kaeya growls, rushing past her and back out the door. He’s beginning to panic. He can feel the tendrils of it creep up his chest, wrapping like vines around his poor throat. His head is growing foggy, warped with his fear. All he can see is you being dragged away. 

Use force. 

His mind feels hot, too sharp. 

Torture if necessary. 

“Kaeya,” Jean barks his name, rushing to catch up to him. 

Her voice is a balm, he wants–she should–

“I’ll try to get ahold of Diluc and send word out to search the city for her.” Jean says and her voice is filled with authority now, level-headed and steady, “where else would she be?” 

“I’m going to my apartment.” Kaeya says, mind narrowing, “in case she’s–I don’t know–” 

“Go,” Jean agrees, a command, “and if she’s not there, keep searching–you know her hiding spots now.” 

Kaeya nods dazedly. 

Jean grabs him roughly, on the arm, jerking him to face her. One hand coming down on his shoulder. 

“We’ll find her.” She promises and she dips her head a little to force him to meet her eyes. They’re all stone and determination. The eyes of a leader. “Do you hear me, Captain?” 

Kaeya nods, more assuredly now, “yes,” he agrees, finding his voice, her eyes. 

She shoves him a little, a push to go, “I’ll reconvene with you shortly. Stay sharp.” 

Kaeya doesn’t need another moment; he picks his eyes up to catch the city skyline of Mondstadt, of his apartment in the distance. He breaks into a sprint. He tries to focus only on his breath, on the way his feet carry him swiftly, weaving in and around the city. 

He tries to force away what he’d seen. 

He bounds for his home, feels his heart and fear ratchet up inside of himself. He’s imagining his home empty. 

He’s imagining you gone. 

He’s imagining the door shut tight and locked, how he’d left it, and you’re nowhere to be found. A cold space. An empty space. 

He takes the stairs two at a time, he tries the door and it–it’s locked still. 

He doesn’t pray. He’s not a religious man. And that stupid Archon–

Is sitting perched on his kitchen counter, overlooking the living room.

“Ssh,” Venti hisses, finger to his lips, as he points to his couch. The one Kaeya has slept on nearly every night since this whole ordeal started. The one you are currently occupying, curled up beneath the blanket he usually uses, sleeping soundly.

Or, you were. 

You blink awake, slow, confused. 

Kaeya rushes to your side. 

He kneels. 

The door is left ajar. 

“You’re here,” he gets out, winded, rough. 

“Kaeya?” Your voice is so small and confused. 

Without thinking, he brushes a strand of hair from your face as gently as he can, hands shaking. He’s still panting, chest still heaving. But–

“I’m here.” He says then, astonished, relieved. 

He wants to pull you off the couch and into his arms. He wants to hold you. He wants to collapse on top of you. 

He falls back onto his bottom, breathing hard, all his fear leaking out of him swiftly. “Oh, you’re here.” He says again, voice breaking, as if to assure himself. 

You sit up, eyes pricking with concern, “what’s wrong?” you murmur, “where else would I be?” 

Kaeya can’t even speak yet, but he laughs, delirious, out of breath. 

“No where.” He says, “I thought–you were–” 

“She was trying to nap,” Venti finally speaks up and his eyes are far too keen. “Before our performance tonight.” 

Kaeya looks at him. Venti looks back. 

The door is open. 

He heaves out a rough breath. He hangs his head between his shoulders. He tries to calm himself. 

“I need to tell Jean to call off–” he laughs, “oh, Diluc is going to lose his mind.” 

“Call off what?” You ask.

“Your search party.” Kaeya finally can get out. Your face brightens to shock. 

“My search party? Kaeya–”

“Venti, why don’t you find Jean and tell her where you’ve been? Before the whole city turns upside down looking for her.” Kaeya then says. He won’t look at him but he can feel Venti’s eyes on him.

But then Venti laughs, and chirps, “aye, Captain!” 

And he flits out of Kaeya’s home. 

Venti shuts the door behind him and seals you away with him. Kaeya exhales roughly again, elbows resting on his knees. 

“Are you okay?” You ask for a second time, so sweetly. So sincerely. You lean towards him like you want to touch him. 

And he wants to say, I was scared. He wants to say, I was terrified of losing you. I could’ve torn the whole city apart looking for you. He wants to say, I’m so relieved to see you. Hold me. Let me hold you. 

Instead, all he says is, “they had your diary. And I thought–” 

The door is shut tightly. 

“Oh,” you breathe, “I left it at home, the last time we–” 

“They must’ve broken in.” He agrees softly. And then he looks rather sheepish. 

“What?” You ask, as if you know. 

“I broke in. I owe you a new door.” 

“Kaeya!” You scold, “why did you–why were you so–?!”

“Jean and I thought you were kidnapped!” Kaeya defends himself.

“Kaeya–” 

“We were searching for you. Since you weren’t in any of the places you were supposed to be.” He begins to scold. 

“Kaeya,” 

“Didn’t I leave you with Jean? You should’ve stayed with her.” 

You suddenly launch forward, arms wrapping around his neck, falling from the couch and onto his body. His breath is almost knocked out of his lungs for the millionth time today because of you and surprise colors his face. Raises his brows. 

You hug him tight, face pressing to the crook of his neck, a bundle in his lap. 

“I’m okay,” you murmur, “I’m right here.” 

His arms, which had come up in surprise, finally settle over you. They wrap all the way around your shoulders, your middle, pull you closer, and he’s sure his heart is such a mess in his chest. He’s sure it sounds like a disaster. 

But you press harder into him, fingers digging into his muscles. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” you say, and then your voice tilts upwards playfully, “didn’t think you’d really send the cavalry just because–” 

He pinches your side. 

“I had reason to believe–!” 

You start to laugh, into his throat. You shift to pull away and he wants to keep you there, he wants to hold fast to you and not let go. He wants to cling to you. But he lets you move away to look at his face once more. 

You look at him in a way that just makes him feel naked. He wants to hide. He wants to say something clever. 

“Thank you,” you suddenly say. 

“For what?” Kaeya laughs, “causing a ruckus? Waking you from your nap?” 

“For coming for me.” You cut him off. “I feel safe with you and this just proves that–” 

Kaeya slackens a little, perhaps surprised or unsure or–you always leave him wobbly and uncertain. You always disarm him so swiftly, so viciously. 

“Of course I’d come for you.” Kaeya says and he does mean it. He softens it’s truth with, “it’s my duty.” 

But that night, you don’t ask him to sit beside you as you fall asleep–he does so anyway. You don’t say a word, except to ask him for another bedtime story playfully, except to hear him speak, as you always do when he stays with you. 

You didn’t ask but he needed to. 

It’s not his duty, but he wanted to.

He can’t imagine not watching you drift off to sleep tonight, of all nights, when he thought he’d lost you. 

He watches you sleep soundly in his bed, back rising and falling as you curl around one of his pillows, cheek endearingly squished against it. He doesn’t sleep. 

The door is locked tight. 

And even though it's not his duty, he watches over you, anyway.

***

SCENE II

On the docks of Cider Lake in the early afternoon sun. Venti is perched beside you, plucking lazily at a lyre. Your feet dangle off the dock, swinging like a child. The sky is endlessly blue. Clouds are like sleeping rabbits in the sky. The wind kisses you. 

“I feel their eyes most when I’m with you.” You say suddenly, glancing at your companion out of the corner of your eyes. 

A note strums from Venti’s fingers. He hums lightly. 

“Not sure what the Fatui would want with a measly bard.” Venti shrugs, “maybe they think I’m the weakest of your guards.” 

“Maybe,” you say, but you don’t believe that. You don’t believe it because–well, because you noticed them following him first. At first, you weren’t quite sure and you had mentioned it to Venti, but he’d shrugged you off. 

Breezy as ever. He’d pretend there was nothing to worry about. 

You turn towards him and look at him before you murmur, low enough that any ears listening would only catch the sound of the gently lapping water, “why were the Fatui following you?” 

“I believe I’m supposed to ask that of you,” Venti replies with a smile but you can tell, there’s a chipping like a porcelain teacup losing a piece of its lip. 

“I wasn’t sure at first,” you tell him softly, eyes glancing out over the calm lake, “but then I caught them intercepting letters and messages of yours. I caught them in the belltower and I knew.” 

The belltower in the cathedral was a place Venti had shown you early in your return to Mondstadt. He’d told you it’d been a place that he came to play music, to look out at the world below. A secret place for him, now for you; a gift, he’d said. Places are a gift to give the people you love and secrets are, too. 

Then you’d caught a Fatui member snooping through the hidden items Venti had left there; music sheets, maps the two of you had crudely drawn, and old clues to scavenger hunts long past. 

The two of you had always liked sending the other all over Mondstadt; it’s why you hide your diary. He hides new songs he wants you to learn. You’d leave clues, games to play, puzzles to solve for each other. 

Venti plucks out a few, odd notes on his lyre. Goosebumps erupt over your skin.

“You don’t think I have dealings with them, do you?” Venti asks queerly. There’s a funny sound to his voice. 

You shake your head quickly, “Archons, no.” And then you tilt your head, “but I did what I do best.” 

A wrong note. It rings discordant in the air. 

Venti looks at you. 

“You didn’t.” He almost begs, but he knows. 

“Of course I did.” You respond and Venti looks genuinely distraught. So you add, “nothing terrible–but I wrote you false letters. I led them on a goose chase a little, like I always do when the Fatui gets too close or comfortable in Mondstadt.” 

Venti shakes his head, “you shouldn’t have meddled here.”

“They’re looking for something of yours, aren’t they?” You ask slowly. 

Venti, for once, is quiet. The wind catches on your clothes in a burst. It’s confirmation enough. 

“So I sent them all over Mondstadt with puzzles and clues and fake letters.” You said, “and really, I thought it was harmless but–” 

“Did you tell this to Kaeya?” Venti asks.

“Not specifically this. I always toy with the Fatui when I can, though, he knows that.” 

Venti shakes his head slightly, fingers digging into the wood of his instrument, “and with all the hiding places and riddles between us, I’m sure they–” Venti stands abruptly, “I need to speak to Kaeya.” 

You stand with him suddenly, “why? What for?”

Venti frowns at you and it’s an expression you hardly ever see him wear. 

So you press tenderly, “what are they looking for, Venti?” 

“You’re such trouble,” Venti replies and his voice catches with emotion; he doesn’t  mean it meanly, in fact it’s–well, it’s fond. Mournful, almost. The wind rushes past the two of you, stronger now. Water laps at the docks. 

“Give me a clue.” You try to charm him but it sounds more like a plea. “Like always. I’ll figure it out and you won’t ever have to say it outloud, if you’re that scared.” 

Your heart feels like a brewing storm in your chest. Venti has never hidden things so openly from you. It frightens you. 

But Venti shakes his head for once, small and soft. “Not this time, my friend.” 

“Venti–” 

He suddenly looks away, down towards the other side of the dock, where the cobblestone of the street meets the wood. Kaeya is standing there, waiting to relieve Venti and walk with you to Springvale for rehearsal. The gold of his coat glints in the afternoon sun. He looks like a knight. 

He waits for you. 

“You have rehearsal,” Venti says, and his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “go.” 

“Please, will you tell me?” You ask again. You swallow hard around sudden tears; stupid and silly but–aching. You can’t name why you feel like crying, only that you can tell something far larger is on the horizon. 

It hangs like a storm. 

You can feel its pressure, now more than ever. 

Tell me, you want to beg him, you want to sing, you want to scream. Let me help you, let me in. 

Venti looks at you with love and affection and sadness. He looks at you with a heaviness you can’t name, but can taste. It’s ancient. It’s otherworldly. You want to hold him. You want to hide him from the world. 

“Not yet,” he replies. 

“Why not?” Your voice breaks as easily and fragile as a bird’s wing. 

Venti smiles sadly, “because if you knew, you’d put yourself in even more danger than you already have for me.” 

You open your mouth, but he continues;

“And this isn’t your battle.” He turns away, eyes glassy, but waves at Kaeya, as if nothing is wrong. He smiles at you, watery and fond. 

“Besides, you’ve never been much of a fighter in the first place.” 

***

SCENE III

In the living room of Kaeya’s apartment. Soft, evening blue light through the windows. Hazy, dark shadows. You’re curled up on the couch, legs tucked up underneath you, with a cup of tea held in your palms. You’re ready for bed. Kaeya enters from his office with a stack of letters and papers; what the audience can see of his face is that he’s somber for once. He casts the greater shadow.

“Will you tell me again why you thought it was a good idea to toy with the Fatui?” Kaeya asks and in his hand, he has only some of the letters and maps and sheet music that you’d been leaving for Venti. 

Or, the Fatui. Since you knew they were rifling through Venti’s things. 

“I always toy with them.” You reply simply, taking a slow, burning sip of tea. It’s chamomile and rose. A hint of cinnamon. Kaeya prepared it for you before disappearing to do some work in his office. You swallow. “And I never said it was a good idea.” 

“Then why do it?” 

“Why are they following Venti? What are they looking for?” 

Kaeya lets out a sharp breath, perhaps growing impatient. “I don’t know. Right now, I need to know why they think they need you to find it, though.” 

“Well, I made it seem like I had whatever they’re looking for.” 

You watch Kaeya freeze for a moment and if you weren’t so intuitive and just a little wittier, you’d make some sort of joke about cryo and freezing in place. 

“Why?” He demands suddenly. 

“I wanted to get them off Venti’s back.” You say, “this is what I do when the Fatui get too close to the people I know. This is what I do when the Fatui think they can stick their hands in Mondstadt. Someone has to teach them a lesson.” You take another little sip of your tea, and then add, “and I don’t have a sword–my weapon is my pen. My voice. My wit.” 

Kaeya shakes his head, “you don’t even know what you’ve gotten yourself into.” 

You gesture smoothly, “then enlighten me.”

“This is bigger than you, do you understand that?” Kaeya then says and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him quite so stern. 

His face is shadowed. It’s growing darker. 

“Sure,” you say easily, “that’s why I had to intervene.” 

“I don’t think you actually understand.” Kaeya says and his voice has grown more serious, imperative, a little lower. 

“I’m not an idiot,” you snip, “clearly! Since I’ve managed to fool the Fatui and send them running all over Mondstadt.” You can feel your hackles rise a little, heat swimming in your chest, up your neck. “And most importantly, away from Venti–since he’s got some huge secret that no one will tell me!” 

Kaeya moves suddenly to sit on the coffee table in front of the sofa you’re on. Your knees nearly brush. He splays out your letters and music sheets and maps. “Why didn’t you come to me before doing all of this? Before involving yourself?” 

“Because I always mess with the Fatui!” Your voice raises and you finally move to set the tea cup beside him on the coffee table. “I didn’t think it was any different than any of the other times!” 

“The Fatui aren’t just–” Kaeya gestures, papers crinkling beneath his grip that has grown tighter with his own frustration. “–some band of half-wit politicians or merchants for you to toy with! They’re dangerous.” 

This quiets you for a moment. And then, “so? A lot of things are dangerou–” 

“So?” Kaeya repeats, “so?! You’re not even–” he laughs, but the sound is scraping and hollow, off-kilter. It’s disbelief, almost a scoff, “you’re not even a fighter. You’re not a Knight or a warrior. You’re not even an adventurer of some kind.” 

Silence stretches between the two of you. 

“Can you ever trust my own judgment and intuition? I have made it this far–” 

“But you’re reckless.” Kaeya says, “specifically, you’re reckless with yourself. You know the Fatui are dangerous–it’s why you’re worried about Venti, right? It’s why you intervened.” Kaeya says and then his voice gentles, “so why don’t you have the same concern for yourself?” 

You feel your jaw lock. It ticks. 

You look away from him defiantly, out towards one of the windows, blue with the evergrowing night sky. 

It strikes a strange note inside of you. You have concern for yourself, you want to say, you came to him, didn’t you? Eventually. 

But it doesn’t negate what you did, which was reckless. He’s right; you could’ve turned to him immediately, you could’ve gone to Diluc or Jean or him. But instead, you tried to distract the Fatui; you tried to dance and sing and entice them onto the path you’re on, instead of the one Venti is on.

You gave them a performance. And now, with all their eyes set on you, like the hungry, vying eyes of an audience, a predator, you are in danger. 

“This isn’t a game anymore. This isn’t funny or—or breezy. You’ve gotten yourself into real danger, do you understand?” Kaeya then says and you can tell he’s trying to get you to look at him again. 

“I have you and Jean and Diluc to—“

“But your recklessness got us all here. You rush head first into—into everything, without regard for yourself.” Kaeya continues. “You’re an open book. You wear your heart on your sleeve—it’s like you have no self preservation whatsoever.” 

You sit in silence. You cross your arms over your chest and you feel a hard, little ache in the pit of your throat.

He’s chipping away at something inside of you, something already too tender to take the beating. 

“It’s not a bad thing to be open.” You say and your voice is tight, thicker than it should be. 

“No,” he agrees, “but you have no regard for yourself and all of it for everyone else.” 

Tears prick your eyes, much to your dismay. 

You know the reason. You can feel it, somewhere in the back of your mouth, down where your throat is tight. 

You can’t lose Venti. 

Venti could lose you, you’ve decided. The world could lose you. But you are so terrified of loss and really–you must’ve been easy to leave if–

If it could be done so effortlessly. 

(You think of yourself as a child and your father setting you down for the last time. You think of yourself at an altar, forever waiting, the way you waited for your father your whole life.) 

Venti can lose you. 

But you can’t lose Venti. 

You hope that maybe if you give enough of yourself to the world, it will need you bad enough to never lose. You think one day, it’ll fill the empty, aching wound inside of you that has been just left to dry out. Crack and splinter. 

Sometimes, you think if you scare someone bad enough, they’ll look at you and say they can’t lose you. You think maybe if you scare yourself bad enough, you’ll finally look at yourself and say I can’t lose you. 

“Don’t cry,” Kaeya hushes softly and you wipe quickly at the tear that has freed itself to slip down the slope of your cheek. 

It makes you want to cry harder, for some reason, for him to be so tender now. 

He sets the papers down beside you on the couch finally. He reaches out and touches your knee, broad palm surprisingly warm, as he rubs a gentle pass with his thumb. 

“Why are you crying?” Kaeya then asks, coaxing, gentle.

You sniff hard. 

You dig a little, you search for the answer. Is it because you’re careless with yourself? Is it because you’re scared now? Is it because he pointed it out at all—that he noticed enough, saw through you enough, to finally say it? 

Is it because—

“I worry about you.” He says when you don’t answer him. 

—you’re worth fretting over?

You shake your head a little, perhaps in an attempt to disagree with him, perhaps in an attempt to reassure him. But nothing comes out except another few tears. 

You try to keep the sob back, the noise trapped with the reason in the back of your throat. You fear what will come out. 

“I’m sorry,” you manage to whisper and when you finally turn to face him, he’s right there, and for a moment, you think he might move further to hold you. You think you might just slide into his arms. 

You hold your breath. 

You think he holds his, too. 

“I don’t need an apology.” Kaeya finally murmurs and he doesn’t fold you into his arms, but he turns up his hand on your knee carefully. His palm, an offering. “I just need you to be more careful.” 

Slowly, you slide your hand into his. 

You’ve held his hand plenty now, know the rough scrape of his calluses against your own, but it has never quite felt like this.

Real. Weighted. 

He folds his fingers between yours gently. Your hands lock together, woven, knuckle over knuckle. Palm to palm. 

You’re both watching your hands, enamored, maybe terrified. 

You cling to him in a way you haven’t clung to someone in a long, long time. 

You think you’ve tried to hold onto everything like this; with too much force, gripped in your rebellious fist. You think everything you’ve ever held must’ve been crumpled and ruined from your grasp, you think everything must have the indents of your fingers permanently etched there. 

You want to squeeze, you want to bear down on his hands like a dog who finally caught a bird. 

“Can you promise me that?” Kaeya prompts gently when he doesn’t receive a response from you. 

You glance up at his searching face, the way he’s watching you carefully, scouring to see any flicker of emotion. 

You nod a little, jerky, unsure. 

“Will you say it for me?” He murmurs and dips his head a little to keep your straying gaze. 

You swallow hard around the lump in your throat, tight and hard. 

You feel your eyes fill with tears again. 

But still, you manage to croak, “I’ll try to be more careful.” 

You can tell the response displeases him somewhat; you can tell he wants more. But anything more right now, may feel like a lie. 

And you’re no good at that. 

“Okay,” Kaeya agrees, “thank you.” And then he adds with a gentle lilt, “I’m sorry for making you cry.” 

You laugh a little through your tears, “it’s okay–” you mumble, letting your eyes fall back to your intertwined hands. “I probably needed to hear it.” 

His thumb makes a slow, comforting pass over the back of your hand. 

For a moment, the space fills with silence. 

You watch the careful sweep of his thumb, you watch the flex of his  hand, the veins against his wrist. You can feel the room fill with something more, a growing of a feeling, stretching amongst your ribs. Perhaps amongst his. You think there is something blooming inside of him, something he’s terrified of, something you’ll always long for. 

(If you could feel his pulse in his wrist, it would be jumping, picking up in a fierce little tempo.) 

He’s tenser now, you realize. His breath is caught somewhere in his chest, like he might speak again. 

You wait for him. 

He opens his mouth. 

But then after a moment, he closes it. 

You pick your head up to examine his face, to try and discern what it is he wants to say now. 

And mostly, it’s a mask of causality. 

(His trembling heart is the only thing that gives him away now.)

Maybe, the depth of his eye, or maybe it’s only a trick of the light. 

You want to say, what is it? Or prompt him for more. You want him to speak what is so clearly on the very tip of his tongue. 

Tell me, you want to say, tell me what seems to scare you so badly. 

“I–” he starts. He stops. 

And then neither of you speak and the tension stretches and something inside you grows. You cling to him harder without realizing it, as if anticipating the way he’ll pull away. You don’t want him to go. You can feel it, your heart unfurling for him, you can feel the way he holds you, too. 

In the same way that you hold him. 

You hope he leaves indents in your skin. You hope he never lets go. 

“Yes?” You prompt gently. 

But then he clears his throat and glances away. 

The spell is broken and he forces his hands to loosen from his own hold on you. He forces himself to recede and to calm his heart. You watch as he mentally pulls away from you. You force yourself not to cling harder to him, to catch his hand and hold it close to yourself, to pull him closer to you. 

He says, “Mondstadt cares very deeply for you–and you for Mondstadt. I only wish–” he draws in a small breath, “that you’d afford yourself the same care.” 

You wonder what he was going to say instead. You know this is not his original thought, but the secondary, more distant one. You almost want to ask him, you want to needle and beg, but you know Kaeya well now. 

You know he doesn’t say anything he hasn’t carefully thought about or that he doesn’t want you to hear. 

Still, it manages to make you soften, to make tears press again behind your eyes. 

You turn to tuck your face into your shoulder, like it may stop him from seeing you cry. You squeeze his hand like a lifeline. 

“Oh, look what I’ve done now.” He says and his voice is light–he’s teasing you gently, holding you tighter again as you laugh now and sniffle, fingers still digging deep into his hand. 

“I’m sorry–” you mumble, “Am I hurting you?”

You loosen your grip on his hand. 

“I’ve been through far worse,” he soothes, running his thumb back over the dips and plains of your hand. 

You try to keep yourself from bursting into heavier, harder tears. You can’t even quite name why; your care for him, or his for you. The fact that he won’t name it, or because you’re scared he’ll leave if you do. 

You’re nearly trembling with it; you’re afraid he’ll say one more word, one more phrase and you’ll simply fall to pieces.

You don’t know what it is about care; but when someone is gentle with you, it makes you feel as if they’ve torn you to shreds. It turns you inside out. It turns you into a child again, desperately seeking it out. It feels foolish now sometimes, over dramatic.

But Kaeya holds your hand and you take deep, shuddering breaths until you don’t feel as if you’re going to bawl your eyes out anymore. 

You don’t want to stop clinging to his hand, though. 

“I should get to bed,” you finally say, if only for him, if only to give him an out because it’s easier than if he finds it himself. You’re too fragile for him to pull away first tonight.

So you slip from his grasp and stand. Your legs feel a little wobbly, unsure of yourself. He looks up at you, from beneath the fan of his dark lashes. You swallow hard, around the tears, around whatever it is he makes you feel. 

You can still feel the pressure in your hand, the way his fingers feel against yours. 

Again, he looks as if he wants to say something. 

You wait, expectant. 

And again, he lets it fall. 

Instead, he says, “yes–it's another early morning. I’ll let you sleep.” 

He stands now, too, collecting the papers, gathering them into his hands carefully. All of your wit and love and craft. All of your recklessness in the palm of his hand.

“I’m going to stay up a little longer,” he says then, “if you need anything.” 

Now it's your turn to look up at him. 

And there must be something too raw, too sincere in your eyes, because he can’t look for long. 

“Kaeya,” you want to draw his gaze back to yours, but he doesn't quite reach your eyes. Still, you need to say, “thank you.” 

“For scolding you?” He asks, light, too light. He tries to create distance. Coldness. 

“For caring about me.” 

He swallows. He doesn’t confirm or deny it. But he looks guilty, a man held back, everything carefully in place. Not a word misspoken, not a look out of place. Sometimes, you have the urge to destroy that veneer. Sometimes, you want to know what he looks like without all his thoughtfully placed appearances. 

You wonder if you will ever see him like that. You wonder if he will ever tell you more; if he will ever let you in. 

You think maybe you will stay like this forever, close to him, but not too close. 

With care, but without it spoken. Always in the blue dark and never in the dawn. 

He clears his throat, “it’s my job to look out for you.” 

Your heart falls a little, sharp, like a plummeting note, a tight draw of the strings of a discordant chord. You swallow around the lump in your throat. 

“Yes,” you agree distantly, nodding your head, “I suppose it is.” 

“I’ll be in the office.” He says because he must slip away from you now. You think when he gets too close, he grows scared of being burned. 

He closes the door behind him.

You watch it for a moment, steady. 

You wonder if it’ll stay like this forever; always on the other side of the door. 

When you go to sleep that night, you leave the bedroom door ajar, as if to prove something. 

But in the morning, you find it shut tight. 

At rehearsal, you’re somewhere else, off in your mind. Though you say your lines, you feel as if you miss them, like they’re coming out automatically, half-hearted. 

And the only ones that rings true, that resonates throughout the stage is one you’d previously thrown away;

“Hold on tight–don’t let go.” 

This time, your voice cracks with it, breaks over the don’t. 

That night, Kaeya presents you with a bouquet of flowers; a show in front of the world. 

And when he brushes his knuckles against yours, you eagerly slip your hand into his as you walk home. 

You don’t even care that it’s for the world and no longer for you.

You are, if nothing else, a good actor (or of foolish heart);

So you pretend it’s real, with the flowers he gave you nestled into the crook of your elbow, and his hand curled around yours. You pretend that you are walking home with your love, and the sun is setting, and you are filled to the brim. 

You laugh as if that’s the case. You lean into him as if that’s the case. 

You knock into him as you walk, desperate to be close, to feel his side against yours. You are desperate to have more of him; all his attention, all his affection. 

To not feel like a world away–or like there’s a door between you, one that you don’t know if he’ll ever open or not. 

***

PRELUDE TO SCENE IV

Springvale in the afternoon, the sun warm and bright; it makes everything sparkle, almost radiant. The grass seems lush and full, the lake is shimmering. 

Klee eats cut fruit happily beside you at a picnic table. You steal a piece or two from time to time. Kaeya sits across from you and Klee, his back to the audience.

“Are you and Kaeya boyfriend and girlfriend?” Klee suddenly asks around a burst of valberries. 

Despite everything, you feel your heart tick up in a strange, sharp tempo. 

Your eyes fly to Kaeya, who's already looking at you. 

You share a silent conversation with each other and a series of increasingly dramatic expressions;

What should we tell her? 

The truth? 

What? No! 

Then you tell her–

“Yes,” Kaeya finally says, “we are boyfriend and girlfriend.” 

Klee picks her head up, perhaps surprised at his answer. “You’re dating?!” She asks, louder now and you can’t help but laugh. 

“Yes,” Kaeya lies, perhaps for any eavesdroppers, “we’re dating, Klee.” 

She looks between the two of you. 

“Miss Jean said you’re in love with each other.” Klee says casually and that makes both of you freeze momentarily. 

You feel heat rush into the high points of your face. Your mind whirls, spins into overthinking. Why would Jean say this? To keep your covers? A kinder way to say it to a child? 

For a moment, you fear Jean knows a part of your heart that you fully haven’t gotten to know yet yourself. 

You fear there is some truth to it. 

(Perhaps love is too strong of a word but—)

You adore Kaeya. 

You have your whole life, you think, from when you were young and chasing after them with childlike, outstretched hands, to adulthood, where you have always held respect for him and now—

Something more, perhaps, after all your time with him. 

How could you not? What chance did you have against him, anyways? 

(You hope he doesn’t dare read your diary again. 

You suddenly worry that Jean has instead.) 

You’re almost fearful to catch Kaeya’s gaze, you swallow hard, but force yourself to. And when you do, you realize he’s–

Amused. Near laughing.

That absolute bas— 

You kick him underneath the table and he yelps a little. You hide your snicker behind a hand against your mouth. 

“We care about each other very much.” You tell Klee, sobering. 

“Are you gonna get married?” She asks then, just as casually, around another piece of fruit. 

Kaeya makes a noise of surprise, “married?” He asks Klee, “where are these questions coming from?” 

“I thought if you’re boyfriend and girlfriend, then you get married.” Klee responds. 

“Sometimes,” you agree, nudging the bowl of fruit closer to her little hands so that she can reach the last few pieces better. “But right now we’re just boyfriend and girlfriend.” 

Klee hums around her berry. 

And then she looks up at you, “do you guys kiss?” 

The word kiss is punctuated with disgust, almost sick curiosity; as if she might not be able to believe it. 

It makes you choke, then stutter into a laugh. Kaeya laughs as well, full and surprised. 

“People who are dating do tend to kiss, Klee, so yes.” He says, amused with her. He catches your eye across the table. You swallow hard with the way he gazes at you, infinitely pleased and laid back, deeply amused. By you or Klee, you’re not sure. Still, you can’t help the smile that touches your lips, perhaps just as entertained, perhaps a little rueful. 

“Gross,” she declares. And then she looks at Kaeya, “do you think she’s pretty?” 

You look at Kaeya expectantly, propping your chin in your hands, and sing, “yes, Kaeya, do you think I’m pretty?” 

He smirks, leaning back in his seat a little, and a fissure of heat rips through you. You bat your lashes for him. 

“I think you’re beautiful, darling.” Kaeya croons, sweet as ever, and enough to make you damn near melt. 

You can feel heat in your face, despite it all. You feel like a teenager. You feel like a girl with a crush, a boy with his love in front of him, and not a clue what to do. Bumbling and suddenly young, graceless. 

A pang hits you squarely in the chest; you wish this was real. You wish he was being honest. 

Klee squeals in embarrassment or surprise. “You’re going to get cooties!” She tells you. 

You use her as a distraction, leaning down a little to conspire with her, “Kaeya does have cooties.” You agree in a faux-whisper. “But I have the antidote.” 

“You do?” Klee asks, “what is it?”

“Its a secret recipe,” you begin, putting on a good show of trying to come up with the ingredients, “but it certainly starts with the essence of butterflies.” You glance over at the field behind you, which you know is teeming with butterflies.

You used to chase them here in your youth until the sun set and the fireflies sparked to life in the evening dark. And then you chased their soft, blinking lights until the other kids were called home. And it was just you and the rolling fields and endless night skies and bumbling bugs. You’d try to carry one home with you so you wouldn’t feel so lonely. 

Klee follows your gaze and watches as one of the butterflies flits and flutters. 

“Can I ask for your help, little Spark Knight? Will you carefully catch me a butterfly? Don’t hurt it, though, we need it alive for the antidote.” 

Immediately, she is perking up, jumping up from her seat. 

“You can count on me!” 

She bounds off into the field of swaying wildflowers. 

You turn back to Kaeya. 

His eye is soft, perhaps fond. 

Before you can loose your bravery, loose your courageous little heart, you stand and move to his side of the bench so that you can watch Klee. 

Your shoulder brushes with his. Your thigh touches his. You’re aware of it all, sharply, keenly. 

He looks at you and you gaze back up at him. For a moment, you get swept away in his star-blue eye. The bend of dark lashes. Like the butterflies in the field, your heart flutters, feeling as delicate as their wings. 

“Careful,” Kaeya says softly, so smoothly that his voice could be a melody, “or people really will think we’re in love.” 

Heat smarts your face again. But you tip your chin up because you’ve never shied away from a challenge before; “why do you say that?” 

Kaeya suddenly reaches out and carefully, as if you might fall to pieces at his touch (and really—you think you might), takes hold of your chin. His thumb barely brushes your bottom lip. Then he says, “the way you look at me.” 

“You were looking at me first,” you accuse but your voice is hushed. 

“And you shouldn’t melt when I touch you.” 

Your stomach swoops like a bird in the sky and then soars. Your lashes flutter. You’re close to him—almost nose to nose. And now you really do think of kissing him like he’s actually yours. As if he could be. 

His eye drops to your lips, thumb inching upwards. 

“Then you shouldn’t touch me so.” You murmur, earnest, and if your voice is soft with pleading—a pleading for what, you can’t tell—then whose to say? “Like—like you want to kiss me.” 

Your nose brushes against his. 

“Don’t—” his voice sticks, “don’t kiss me. No one’s even watching.” 

“Do you not want me to?” 

“Yes, I want—” he stops. 

Your heart sings. I want, I want, I want—

He swallows, “we shouldn’t, though.” 

“Why not?” You dare to ask, hands drifting to his chest, his collar bones. 

You can almost, almost feel his smile, slow and fond, “well, firstly, you’ll get cooties…” 

“Kaeya,” your own smile is a warm curve that you want to feel against his.

“Secondly,” He begins, drawing in a soft breath that you feel beneath the palm of your hand. 

“I have a butterfly!” Klee shouts, head suddenly poking up from the wildflowers in a burst of petals. 

You and Kaeya jolt away from each other, hands drawing back into your laps, facing away from each other as if teenagers caught by your parents. Heat zips through you in a rush. 

He almost—you almost—

Something in your chest bats its wings, excited, elated. It takes to flight. A smile overtakes your face, winning, determined. 

Oh, you think, glancing at him as you head to Klee, oh, you want me, too. 

She opens her little hands for you and the moment she does, the butterfly escapes into the sky—taking to flight. 

You laugh as she squeals. 

She races after it. 

And then you do, too. 

In an instant, Kaeya has joined you, too. 

And it dissolves, the sun slowly moving throughout the sky, into running and chasing and laughing. The joyful sound of your laugh, of Klee’s excitement, of Kaeya’s fondness. 

It melts like the sky, like your heart, like the way you do when Kaeya touches you. 

There’s a moment, quick, when you’re in the wildflowers with him. He’s on his back and you lean over him. 

He peers up at you. 

Beautiful man that he is with sparkling eyes. 

You think, people really will think we’re in love, if you look at me like that. 

And then you say, boldened by the day and the sun and the warmth and the tempo of his heart beneath your open palm;

“You’ll be mine yet, Captain.” 

He blinks, perhaps surprised, before a full, warm laugh falls from his lips. 

“Is that a challenge, princess?” He purrs, looking up at you with a halo of flowers beneath his head. 

You grin, beautiful and wicked and radiant. 

“It’s a promise.” 

And then you stand to run after Klee, down the sloping hill, and into the arms of the sky hanging above your heads. 

He watches you and you can feel his gaze on your back, your silhouette against the sky, your laugh caught on the wind, and tuck the vow into your heart. 

Hope it tucks into his, too, finds it’s home there where no one has before and claim it as yours, yours, yours. 

You open your palms and a butterfly, blue as the sea, as a bird’s wing, leaps from your hands and takes to flight. Takes to the sky all open just for you. 

***

SCENE IV

The belltower in the Cathedral, high above Mondstadt. Storm clouds cling to the horizon. The sky is mostly dark, but the sun escapes through a sliver of clouds and still shines for now, casting the world in a strange contradiction. More ominous. More stunning. Burnished buildings set against wicked, deep blue storm clouds. 

Your skirts swirl against gold and silver bells, as blue as the clouds. Kaeya turns and twists, so we only catch flashes of his face. 

Kaeya takes the steps near two at a time to keep up with your pace. You lift your skirts with one hand, racing up the curving, stone steps, and your other hand holds fast to his. You drag him up and up and up. 

The whole day, you’d dragged him all over Mondstadt, to all your favorite places; bakeries and music stores and the library. Eagerly, he’d followed, been at your side, at your heel like a loyal dog. 

(A lovesick pup—) 

Kaeya thinks he could spend countless days with you like this. 

The world is always more brilliant with you—he can’t deny it. 

And now, you’ve promised him another secret place of yours. 

“How much further?” He breathes hard, surprised to find himself winded. His legs almost burn; there have been far more stairs than he originally thought. Or was promised. but he was also promised the best view in all of Mondstadt, with one of your sweetest smiles.

And really, how could he have denied you then? How could he deny you at all today?  

“Not much!” You chirp back and then all it takes is a little more, until you come to a wooden door. 

It gives easily under your weight, your excited push, throwing it wide open. 

Light gleams, the world bursts before his eyes in a shimmer of gold, a rain of color and life. 

You sweep into the space, the arch beneath the stones and over the other side of one of the great bells. If he peers down, he can see the wooden scaffolding where someone stands to pull on the huge rope below. No doubt, it would take up this whole space, swing wildly so that the two of you would have to nimbly dodge and move, duck just to keep your heads. 

He hopes you’ve accounted for this, too. 

He follows you carefully around the bell, only to come to the other side of it and have the whole world open up before you. 

And it’s just you, in the breeze, and the storm clouds, above all of Mondstadt. 

You hang, perhaps a little too precariously, off one of the large stone pillars. 

Kaeya has half a mind to grab you, to pull you back towards him. But the wind favors you. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You breathe and you’re so taken with it all, that he can hear your voice catch. 

“It is,” he agrees, but he’s not looking at the world the way you are. 

He’s looking at you. 

He watches you watch the streets below and the clouds above. He watches love and adoration paint across your face; joy and a strange sort of melancholy. 

Oh, you’ve always been so open.

Finally, you inhale. 

 Whilst still looking at the world below, the heavens above, you say, “I can’t explain what it does to me–the sky and the city and the wind when it touches me.” You look as if you could almost cry, and immediately his heart gives a lurch in his chest, “I don’t know how anyone can stand it.” 

Something in him twists and constricts. He wants to wipe your tears. He wants to coo, don’t cry, don’t cry. 

You laugh, “I’m sorry,” and shake your head like you’re silly, “I can’t help it–I’m just so happy. I adore the world so much.” 

You turn to face him, open and raw, “I know these haven’t been ideal circumstances,” you start and you shift, and like he’s drawn to the movement, like you’ve pulled him in, he moves, too. 

And then he’s standing in front of you. In front of an ancient bell from a nation that isn’t is, but could be. Above the whole world. Beneath the storm of it. 

“But I’ve been–” a tear escapes and again, as if he possessed, before he can even think, his hand has darted out to catch it. You laugh again, joyful and aching, “you make me so happy. And I—“

“Doesn’t seem so,” he murmurs, “seems I’ve made you cry.” 

You laugh again, sweet to his ears, like their own song. Your hands come up to his chest, palms open and flat against his racing heart. He’s sure you can feel it. Can you hear it? He hopes not. 

And no one is watching. He doesn’t need to stand this close to you or wipe your tears. 

You don’t need to put your hands on his chest and look up at him like that, in a way he doesn’t deserve. 

(You’ll be mine yet, Captain.) 

You look at him like he could’ve hung the moon. Or carved your beloved Mondstadt itself with his own hands from hill and valley. 

An ache spreads its wings like a bird in his chest. It isn’t fair, he thinks, to be looked at by you, with this expression on your face, when he knows he can’t have you. He knows you can’t be his, not truly. 

He wishes you wouldn’t look at him so. 

“They’re happy tears,” you tell him, pawing at his chest, creeping up towards his neck. You sway towards him. You finish what he tried to stop you from admitting, “—and I adore you.” 

Kaeya’s heart gives this twist, like it’s trying to rebel against him. He wants to run. He wants your arms around him. He wants—

“Careful,” Kaeya murmurs reflexively. Careful of what, though, he can’t say. 

Careful with yourself around him? Careful with him? 

You don’t heed his warning at all, and like you always have, you barrel towards all that you want. You press up to him. 

“You do make me happy,” you say again, sweeter now like honey on your lips, tip your chin up like you might offer him a taste. 

“Everything makes you happy,” Kaeya counters, shaking his head fractionally, looking down at you with lidded eyes. 

“Not true,” you almost pout up at him, shaking your head, fingers tightening in the collars of his shirt like you know he’s thinking about fleeing. 

He has half a mind to kiss you. You’re leaning up on your toes a little. He can smell your perfume; red berries and honeysuckle. Warm vanilla. He feels something tighten inside of him, hot and aching. He needs to put a stop to this—

He says your name, in warning. Perhaps fear. 

And you look up at him through the fan of your lashes and say his name like it’s a melody, “Kaeya.” 

He shakes his head now, fractionally, “don’t.” He murmurs, voice a low rumble. 

“Don’t what?” You ask innocently and then you do it again, as if you know perfectly well, “Kaeya–” 

His hand comes down to clutch your wrist, to keep it from moving around to the nape of his neck. He stills you. 

You look up at him, questioning, almost desperate. Perhaps unsure–you go to pull away, but he seizes your wrist, holds it tight to his chest and keeps you close. 

Thunder rumbles. 

“Don’t say my name like that.” He croons, voice a little rough, “don’t torture me.” 

He watches your face transform into understanding. Into—

Your fingers sink back into the fabric of his clothes, emboldened, “Kaeya,” you say like it bursts on your tongue, and then again, “Kaeya,” you hum, sing his name on a note that could be its own siren song. “Kaeya,” you purr as one of your arms winds around his neck. 

His poor heart—

He makes a noise; a soft groan of frustration, a little growl, back in his throat. 

“You’re such trouble,” but his other hand is squeezing at your hip now. “I swore to everyone I had nothing but pure intentions with you.” 

Your nose brushes his, a smile licking at the corner of your mouth, “I surely hope not.”

“I’m supposed to protect you.” He gets out.

“You do—you are.” Soft, sweet little assurance. 

He shakes his head again, barely, nose brushing yours. Fractionally closer. “You’re my responsibility.” 

“Are my desires, too?” You murmur and when you lean towards him to close the short distance between your lips, he suddenly seizes your jaw in his hand.

You gasp.

“And what of mine?” He asks, eye glinting like the too-hot part of a flame. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” 

His voice is a low rasp.

You look up at him with wide eyes, soft in the center, your eyebrows drawing in a little and you look—you look like you adore him. Like you’re desperate for him. 

“Sleeping in my bed every night, my clothes—“ Kaeya allows his thumb to drift over your bottom lip, slow, parting it from your top. He exhales roughly. “What am I supposed to do with you?” 

“Kiss me,” you plead.

Lightning cracks across the sky in a fissure of heat. 

“I shouldn’t.” He counters, even as you kiss at the pad of his thumb. Lips soft and warm, wet as your tongue darts out in a flash of heat. He inhales tightly, letting his thumb be drawn into the crux of your mouth. 

You look up at him through your lashes. He has to fight back another groan. There’s a flush on the nape of his neck, heat that swims beneath his skin. He’s certain you’ll melt him with your gaze alone.

What’s he supposed to do?

How’s he supposed to survive you? 

He scrambles for his wits. 

And firstly, he pulls his thumb from your lips.

“Kaeya—“ you coax again, “Kaeya.” 

“Stop it,” he hushes, “I can’t.” 

“I want you,” you murmur, almost whine.

“You’re a brat.” Kaeya groans finally, “stop tempting me.” 

“I’ll beg,” you sing sweetly. “Is that what you want to hear?” 

“No,” he says quickly because the thought of that makes his mind screech to a halt. “Never. I’d never—“

Make you beg.

He swallows around the words sharply. 

He lays his hands, long and broad, on your shoulders. 

He forces distance between the two of you. 

Thunder grumbles unhappily across the sky.

“I’m not going to kiss you.” 

“But you want to?” 

And the way you look at him, so earnestly and so desperately—

“That’s besides the point—“ You open your mouth to speak, only for him to continue, “my job is to protect you. This would be highly unprofessional of me.” 

“Since when have you—“

“You deserve better.” He finally says, words flying from his mouth before he can stop them, “I am, frankly, a rake and a cheat and—“

“That’s not—“

“The point is,” Kaeya continues over you, lest you do something even worse and try to fight or deny him, “it would be unwise of us.” 

“I, for one, have never claimed to be wise.” 

Kaeya laughs now, full and warm and fond. He shakes his head. You’re near glowing with just the sound of his joy. So he continues;

“It would be foolish. Perhaps, even, one of the worst things we could do.” 

His voice lilts, turns melodic. 

Your hands are back on his chest somehow. Flat over his heart, nearing his collar again. He’s losing. You’re sidling close and he wants to bring you closer still. He can feel all the curves of your body to his, fitting up against him like a missing puzzle piece. 

“Utterly disastrous, really.” He continues, voice growing fainter. He’s losing. 

“Wildly reckless?” You murmur, tipping your chin up, offering your lips to him like a sweet lamb to sacrifice. 

“Terribly…” he drifts, feeling the brush of your lips against his, “stupid, I’m afraid.” 

You hum lightly, barely, in acknowledgement before he’s suddenly closing the distance and kissing you soundly.

Oh, he’s lost. 

(It’s a promise.) 

The wind picks up sharply for a proper storm. Lightning flashes behind his eyelids. 

And that’s all it takes, Kaeya realizes, heart swinging wildly in his chest like a bell tolling. Knocking against his rib cage.

You throw your arms around his neck and deepen it. 

He groans in defeat, damning it all, and grabs at the skirts of your waist, squeezing at your hips desperately. 

Damn it all, he thinks again, knowing it’ll be something of a shipwreck; brutal and splendid and massive. Beautiful and heartbreaking enough that he just won’t be able to look away. 

More thunder, sky swirling and teeming and ready to just burst. He can feel it under his skin. 

You sink your hands into his hair. He nips sharply enough at your bottom lip that a gasp is wrenched from you. He swallows it. 

He wants so much more. 

The sky opens up and rain falls from the heavens in a golden and brutal downpour. 

***

SCENE V 

Dawn Winery in the evening, plum dark and warm from fire in the hearth. You and Diluc are at the grand piano, seated side by side, in an intimate and cozy parlor room. 

Kaeya has just entered and we see the side profile of his face as he watches the two of you. 

“Oh, do you remember this one?” You ask and immediately, music fills the space as your hands dance over the keys in a sweet, jaunty little tune. 

“Like this?” Diluc asks, setting his hands to the lower side to immediately complete the melody you play. “It’s this one, right?” 

“Yes!” You exclaim, the two of you playing with ease, a smile on your face. “We used to play this one all the time for our parents.” 

It’s such an innocent remark. Kaeya is almost caught off guard by it, by the memory that floods back to him. 

Crepus in the lounge chair, your parents across from him on the settee. The glow of the fire warm and gentle. Faces of people that swim in his mind, that he hasn’t seen or has avoided for a long time now, their smiles and laughs. People who left. Who died. Ghosts that once listened to your music, just as he is now, on the outskirts. 

Diluc, surprisingly, is not put off by the memory. Instead, he smiles, “I used to always mess this part up.” 

And then with ease, his large hands cascade over the keys. Not a note out of place.

“And look at you now!” You encourage him. 

He laughs softly, low, like the fire in the hearth. 

With ease, the two of you close the song together, watching each other with crinkled, happy eyes for the timing. For the last notes. 

He can hardly stand how lovely you look. Or how you look at Diluc. 

Have you ever looked at him like that? 

He clears his throat. 

When you see him, your face lights up and the way you say his name, with such warmth and adoration makes him feel worse somehow, “Kaeya!” 

Immediately, Diluc’s face hardens. 

“Apologies,” Kaeya says with perhaps more chill than he anticipates, “I didn’t mean to interrupt the concert.” 

“Not at all,” you respond, “how did we sound?” 

“Your music is lovely as usual.” Kaeya responds flippantly and you eye him for a moment, scrutinizing. 

And then, slowly, you say, “then you wouldn’t mind if we play a few more? This piano does bring back fond memories for me.” 

There’s a glint in your eyes; it could be the fire that favors you or a trick of the light. 

And because Kaeya pretends he doesn’t care, he says, “please; don’t allow me to stop you.” 

He takes a seat on the settee as far from you and Diluc as he can manage. 

Diluc sets his hands back to the keys and opens with a few, small notes, “do you remember this one?” He asks you.

“How could I forget?” You laugh, “I sang this one at every party and soiree we ever had.” 

And Kaeya also instantly recognizes the first chord that Diluc eases out, the tune of it like his childhood. He remembers you standing so small and young, by the piano which seemed so much larger when he was a boy. Your glowing face and sweet, little voice. 

And when you open your mouth to sing this time, it’s mature and warm, lower but more distinguished. 

The lyrics must come to you like from a dream, he’s sure of it. 

As if it was yesterday, you sing the song of a different time, a different lifetime ago it feels like. Of late nights in this very parlor, with laughter and the clinking of glasses. A house full. A heart full. 

You sing of angels and the moon in the sky, the stars, and a love from forever ago. 

And really, it’s so horribly fitting for you; the song is as in love with the world as you are. How could anyone sleep, you sing, how could anyone close their eyes to the night sky? To love? 

Kaeya realizes sharply that he feels as if he’s been sleeping for a very long time. 

He’s turned his eyes away from the stars and love and the whole world. 

And you, wonder that you are, have been desperately trying to wake him. To show him again. 

The last concluding notes ring softly, hang in the air, before you are smiling and leaning onto Diluc’s shoulder, hugging his broad arm to you happily. 

Kaeya looks at the two of you, the light and dark of Mondstadt. The joy and pride of the city, so beautiful in the fire. 

How could he ever compare to the two of you? 

“Kaeya, did you remember that one?” You ask suddenly, turning to face him. 

He somehow manages to unstick his voice, and lies, “not really.” 

After a moment, a heartbeat where you seem to see right through him, you ask, “shall we go home?” 

Yes, he wants to say. Let me take you home. Let me take you away. 

Instead, he says, “I’m hardly in a rush.” 

You stand from the piano bench and saunter over to him. Diluc turns to watch as you come to stand between his legs, peering down at him. 

“I missed you today.” You say honestly, “were you busy?”

Kaeya won’t return the sentiment in front of Diluc. In fact, he’s surprised that you’ve come this close in front of him at all. He thought this was supposed to be between the two of you and no one else. 

Selfishly, he wants to keep it that way. He wants you all to himself. 

Kaeya glances at his brother, then back to you. Diluc’s eyes narrow fractionally in suspicion as Kaeya says, “very, unfortunately.” 

You tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. Your fingers drift then, hovering around his jaw like you might touch him more. You don’t. You say, “let’s go home, then.”

You offer him your hand and when he takes it to stand, you don’t drop it. You tuck up against his side. Kaeya feels something wobbly and fragile take a few, tentative steps inside of him, like a newborn fawn. 

How strange, he thinks, to imagine you as openly his. How strange, to have your genuine affection, your genuine adoration. 

“Thank you for playing with me, Diluc,” you say with a smile, “I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother today.” 

“You’re never a bother,” Diluc promises like the gentleman he is, “and I am always charmed to play the piano beside you.” 

Diluc glances down at your interlocked hands. You let him look. Kaeya fights the urge to pull away and create distance. You squeeze his hand. You say to Diluc, “perhaps we should throw a soiree, the way our parents used to. I miss being in the manor. And then we can play for everyone again.” 

Everyone except the ghosts, Kaeya thinks, their faces pale in his eyes. 

Diluc seems as wary as Kaeya is, for once, but it is so hard to deny you. Kaeya knows that well. 

As if to sweeten it, you let your head tip onto Kaeya’s shoulder, cuddling up to him even closer, “I think it’d be great fun. A reason to come together again.” 

Diluc meets Kaeya’s eyes briefly and he can already feel the scolding he will receive. He can already feel Diluc’s doubt and judgment. But instead of starting a quarrel, he says to you, “Perhaps we can arrange something.” 

And really, Kaeya thinks it's a testament to how charming and lovely you are. 

You bid Diluc goodnight, sweet as ever, and lead Kaeya out by the hand. 

He can feel Diluc’s gaze burning into the center of his back. 

And the moment you pull him around the corner and out of Diluc’s eyesight, you turn and suddenly pull him down into a deep, slow kiss. 

Kaeya’s eyes flutter in surprise and immediately, he attempts to pull away from you. It’s one thing for Diluc to see the way you held his hand, it’s another thing entirely for him to catch the two of you like this.

You hardly let him get a word out, before you’re pulling him back down into a dirtier, heavier, more desperate sort of kiss. 

He yields with a soft, surprised noise of wanting. He kisses you back, just as dirty, just as desperate—tongue licking into your mouth, heat stoking to life along the nape of his neck, the curve of his spine. 

When you pull away, he manages to get out, “well. Hello to you, too.”

You smile, wide and lovely. “I did miss you.” You say again, as if you know you have to convince him, and that he never believes you the first time. And still, he thinks you must be lying. You’d never miss him. 

But you lean up onto your toes to get him to kiss you again; which he does. Easily, happily. It’s gentler than the previous, a little more content, though no less heated. He draws you closer, as close as you can get. His tongue dips gently into your mouth, deep and hungry and exploring. He feels the fabric of your dress bunch up beneath greedy hands, pulling at them, pawing at you. 

A cleared throat. 

The two of you jump apart, whirling around to face Diluc in the entryway. 

He does not look pleased. 

Kaeya, for once, feels like a younger brother again, caught red handed. He opens his mouth for some strange excuse, but you beat him to it;

“We’re taking our role as a couple very seriously. Archon forbid the Fatui question our legitimacy.” 

Kaeya can’t help the laugh that barks out of him, before Diluc’s glare forces him to clear his throat and compose himself. 

“I can see that.” He says dryly. 

“It was my fault,” you then add, “Kaeya is, for once, blameless. I’m a bad influence.” 

“I highly doubt that.” Diluc drawls, “he’s never blameless.” 

Kaeya opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it again.

“We will truly be taking our leave now.” You then say, tugging at Kaeya’s hand, “goodnight, Diluc!” 

The door slams hard behind you. 

Kaeya looks at you, your back to the door, chest heaving a little. You look back at him. 

And then you burst into laughter. He shakes his head, but he can’t stop the smile that comes onto his face. The laugh of disbelief. 

“Diluc is going to kill me,” he finally says, “I can’t believe you.” 

“Oh,” you coo, striding past him, “should I protect you? Diluc is harmless.” 

Kaeya laughs again, though this time it’s dryer, not as funny, but more ironic. 

Well, he has an eyepatch to certainly prove otherwise. You must catch onto his shift in mood, because you take his hand again and assure him, “I’ll deal with Diluc, if you’d like.” 

“No,” Kaeya says, “no need to fight my battles.” 

“I did get you in trouble.” 

 “Well, that I can’t deny.” Kaeya agrees with a smile, slipping his hand around your waist and this time, he knows it is real. Realer than ever before. 

The stars are bright above your heads. The moon is full and shining like a coin and casting you in its soft light. Your eyes are crinkled in delight. 

“You’re also a liar,” you add and Kaeya pauses, looking at you.

It strikes a strange note in him. 

You continue, “I thought you said you weren’t the jealous type?” 

Kaeya’s brows prick upwards, “did you think I was jealous?”

“Kaeya,” you say his name warmly, with love, “I could feel you glaring a hole into the back of our heads while we were at the piano.” 

Kaeya laughs, but it’s rather hollow, “I’m not the jealous type, my dear. I’m sorry to disappoint. Did you have fantasies of being ravished by me in a jealous rage?” 

It’s a little barbed. 

If you notice (which you do), you don’t take his bait. 

“Well, now that you say it…” you tease, walking backwards and in front of him, a sly little smile on your lips. 

Kaeya shakes his head, “there’ll be no ravishing.” He promises, “I’m being a gentleman.” 

“Hm,” you hum lightly, “and how long do you plan to keep that facade up?” 

“It’s not a facade–” he starts to protest, but your hand is winding in the front of his shirt to pull him back into your orbit. 

You pull him into a hard kiss. 

This one is more desperate. Heavier. Hotter. 

He sees what game you’re playing. 

The walk home, in Mondstadt’s streets, for everyone and the moon to see, is a game of cat and mouse. Kissing hard and soft, slow and fast, against brick walls and wooden fences. Leaning into shadows and sharp, little gasps. Teasing kisses along the jaw, before slipping away, and back into the night. 

You manage to lead him right up to the threshold of his bedroom. 

He takes a stance here, roots himself down. He swallows hard—he has to steel himself, he knows. 

So he goes no further than the arch of the doorway, no matter how much you pull at him, or kiss him or tease him. And as hard as it is, he doesn’t even sway when you gaze up at him with that look in your eyes; dreamy and enamored. 

You look at him like he could be a great man. 

It’s absolutely horrifying. His heart jumps in his chest. He can feel as if he can hardly breathe.

“You really won’t sleep with me?” You ask, lips hovering just beneath his. His hands are latched tight to the doorframe of his bedroom as to stay them. To keep his resolve. 

Kaeya shakes his head, “I’m a gentleman.”

You let go of a tired sigh, “I don’t need you to be one.” 

He swallows hard. 

“I’m afraid I need to be one.” He answers. 

“I didn’t take you as chaste.” You murmur, kissing at the corner of his mouth, his cheek. All that warmth comes rushing back to him. 

“Hardly,” he scoffs reflexively, allowing you room at his throat, down the length of his neck. “But I am trying to preserve–” 

He stalls, when he feels your tongue at his pulse. 

You blink up at him innocently and supply, “you’re trying to preserve–?” 

He clears his throat, “some level of professionality. Dignity, maybe.” 

Protection, too, though he isn’t sure anymore if it’s for you or him. Perhaps both. 

The only way he sees this ending is poorly–he cannot foresee a current future where you don’t end up disappointed and hurt by him. He cannot see a future where you don’t leave for your own good. 

And besides, all things must end, he knows, all people must leave or be left behind. 

He was left once and he’s vowed to never be left again, standing in the rain, shivering and young. 

(He tries not to think of you—left at an altar.)

You pull away to look up at him, sweet-eyed and gentle, almost amused with him. “If you say so.” 

Reluctantly and with a great deal of his strength, he leans away to put distance between you. Coldness sweeps in. He tries to appreciate it. “You should sleep. You have rehearsal early tomorrow morning.” 

You step away as well. You offer him a little curtsy in jest, “as you wish, my most proper and chaste lord.” 

“I’m a lord?” He asks, astonished. 

“A prince?” you ask, “or do you prefer a knight? We can roleplay, if you’d like–” 

“Goodnight!” Kaeya announces then, reaching for the doorknob to begin swinging the door closed, to put distance between whatever it is growing between the two of you. 

You laugh, though, so warm and wonderful at his antics that he just can’t help it; he kisses you once more, soundly, goodnight. 

And this time, he says it gentler, lower and sweeter in a way he knows makes you shiver, “goodnight, princess.” 

He watches you fluster, the way you blink up at him. And now it’s his turn to laugh, low and soft and hot, before he quickly swings the door the rest of the way shut. Locking you on the other side of it. Far from his reach. 

Lest he do something horrible. 

Lest he want you too greatly. 

But when he lays down on the couch to sleep that night, he realizes he can hardly sleep at all–and, really, he thinks, who could sleep at all? With the night sky like diamonds, and the way you kiss him like you have everything to lose, and everything to gain. 

Like he could be desired to keep. 

How could he sleep at all? When there is a door between the two of you? And the world hums and glows and shifts, right from underneath his feet. 

How could he sleep? He hears you sing, around and around in his mind, at the piano of his childhood, and the one tonight, a lifetime later. 

***

Finish the rest on Ao3 ->

a/n: this act was too long to post on tumblr in full and i would've had to split it into three separate posts. i figured linking ao3 would be easiest to finish reading :)) thank you for reading!! let me know your thoughts!! <33

[bearsinpotatosacks]

I've got a lot of random snippets I may never use so here's a new series of me sharing random scenes in my google drive. This one is from a Mission Impossible idea, written before Dead Reckoning, where Ethan's kidnapped, his death is faked, he's tortured into submission and slowly brainwashed into being the bad guy's strong man. Here is Ethan seeing his friend's for the last time.

---------

Ethan watched from afar, hidden in the slight shadow of the alleyway but not too dark so he couldn't see. The world was busy, as it tended to be. The streets of London were full. Full of businessmen, tourists, a cyclist throwing their arms up in the air in annoyance and a woman laughing on the phone.

Busy, busy, busy. But not missing him. There was no Ethan shaped gap here as he wasn't sure why he expected one. 

For there to be a gap in society one had to participate in it. And although Ethan sacrificed more than his share to save it, he should know by now that he was not part of society. And was never destined to be.

He was happy. Benji was laughing, outside a coffee shop. Ilsa sat to his right, Brandt next to her, Luthor opposite. Someone else was to Benji's left. He supposed, if there was to be am Ethan shaped hole somewhere in the world, it would be there, by his side. 

But there wasn't one. Someone else was. Someone so wonderfully ordinarily handsome, in the most brilliant way. Not 'international spy who needs to seduce for a living' attractive, the kind of attractive that screamed that this person had a life, had a job, passions and hobbies, a family, one of blood or choice. 

He had dark hair, 60's style thick rimmed glasses on. He looked tired yet sophisticated, the kind of guy who could listen to Chopin one minute and belt along to ABBA the next. Someone who fit Benji. Someone who could take him to the opera when it wasn't to find a nefarious terrorist.

Someone who could love him like he deserved.

Benji laughed. And all of this was worth it if Benji laughed, if he was at peace. If he was happy, then Ethan could survive.

It didn't matter if he couldn't be there to see it and wouldn't be the cause of them. Because yes, seeing Benji's fingers interlaced with the man to his left made him feel like he didn't have a heart anymore and he had to restrain himself from blowing his cover by storming over there and kissing him silly. But if he was happy, he could keep his distance. 

"There you go, I've kept my part of the deal," Bad Guy said. 

Ethan almost scoffed, but the fear that had been instilled into his bones stopped him. He knew that over time he wouldn't even know to scoff. They were going to remove all doubt from his mind, make him believe he was free and happy, maybe even forget that he used to be on the law's side. 

He shuddered and looked back at his friends. Well, the people who used to be his friends. A sense of ease almost came over him. Almost because a bittersweet taste hit the back of his throat when he realised he'd never see them again. He hoped he never saw them again, it would break his heart if he did.

"At least tell me what they're doing?" He said.

Bad Guy huffed and Ethan heard the flick of a lighter, the crackle of a cigarette and the smell of smoke. 

"Ilsa is running self defence classes in London, she's doing well, seems happy, has a cat." He said. "Brandt is the Secretary of the IMF, he's putting more care into each agent, treating them a bit more like people. Luthor is still outshining everyone with his tech skills,"

Ethan gulped, "And Benji?"

"He's left the IMF, started his own tech company, that man to his left is Carl Oswald, owns a bookshop, they've been together almost a year now," he said. "Benji's attending therapy, but he's doing better, he's happy."

Ethan nodded. There was that, at least

"They won't matter, in time." He had to ruin it. "They'll forget you, you'll forget them, everything will be better."

He stubbed out the cigarette and pulled Ethan along as the bittersweet feeling turned to a sick anger. 

Better in time? He didn't want to forge them, they were his lifeblood and forgetting them would be worse than death. 

"Come along, Mr Hunt."

And they were gone. Lost behind the crowds of people and soon to be gone from his memory.

Perhaps he couldn't stop the inevitable. This would be his life whether he wanted it or not, god knows he'd tried to escape. Perhaps it was better they forget him because it would make it a whole lot easier to fit into his knew life if he never had to fight them.

[whispersfromtheshadowsoffical]

What are some fun facts from all of them?

Hello! Thank you for sending in an ask 😈

Apollo loves giving nicknames to everyone, especially the person he loves. He’d come up with the silliest or sweetest pet names on the spot.

Apollo is always full of energy and enthusiasm, making him the life of any situation. He can turn even the most mundane activity into something exciting.

Apollo thrives in fun environments like carnivals. He’s incredibly good at balance games but hilariously bad at any game that involves skill shooting, like water guns or darts.

Apollo has a huge appetite for snacks. If you take him anywhere expect him to eat almost everything, to the point of nearly putting the place out of business

Apollo believes that narwhals are fake

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soren has an obsession with all things cute and beautiful. He loves collecting dolls and pretty trinkets, sometimes treating people like one of his collections once he becomes attached.

While Soren has a sweet and innocent facade, he’s a master at using his cute looks to manipulate others. If he feels like he’s losing control, he’s not above shedding a few tears to gain sympathy.

Soren hates reading and math

Soren’s obsessive about his appearance and will spend hours getting ready just to look perfect. Even the smallest detail, like a hair being out of place, can ruin his mood.

Though Sorens prone to crying as a manipulation tactic, Soren is careful never to let his tears become "ugly crying." He’s always mindful of his appearance, even when upset.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Lynx has a penchant for anything luxurious or high-end. He gravitates toward expensive clothes, accessories, and lavish surroundings, as it aligns with his desire to be worshipped and pampered.

• Lynx loves collecting rare and expensive items, seeing them as extensions of his own status. He takes great pride in showing off his collection.

• Despite his prickly personality, Lynx has a secret fondness for cats. Their independent yet pampered nature resonates with him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Xenos thrives in the nighttime, preferring to operate in the shadows. He finds peace in the quiet of the night, often using this time to stalk the person he’s obsessed with or take photos of them without being seen.

• Xenos has an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, whether he’s watching from afar or blending into the background.

• Xenos notices every little detail about the person he’s obsessed with, from the way they dress to the smallest changes in their appearance or behavior.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Nox has a collection of notebooks where he writes down poems, thoughts, and sketches. Each notebook holds different memories or ideas he’s had, and he carries one with him at all times to jot down inspiration when it strikes.

• Despite his quiet nature, Nox has a soft spot for physical affection. He won’t ask for it, but he appreciates it when his Darling initiates things like hand-holding or resting their head on his shoulder. It’s one of the few ways he feels connected without needing to speak.

• Nox enjoys spending time outdoors at night, particularly under a starry sky. He finds peace in the stillness of the night and often takes his Darling to quiet places where they can stargaze together in comfortable silence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

• Kaine hates being bored and is always looking for excitement. Whether it’s taking his Darling on a wild adventure or finding new ways to tease them, he constantly seeks thrills and challenges to keep life interesting.

• Kaine is big on physical touch, from playful nudges to full-on embraces. He’s not shy about wrapping his arm around his Darling or pulling them into his lap, often using touch to fluster and tease them.

• Kaine is half snake and if your not careful he might eat you 🤭

[blackstarchanx3new]

On a scale of 1-10 how much do you dislike the canon manga Red?

This turned into a rant lmfao.

Gotta make Red simps hate me more than they already do X'D

Like a 5 at least.

The problem mainly boils down to how I perceive him due to MY OWN PERSONAL READING OF THE TEXT.

So, the start: I'm not a fan of those types of "i'm so cute teehee" characters to begin with but for Red specifically...I just hate how inconsistent and poorly utilized he is.

He just morphs to be whatever the narrative needs him to be instead of having a real character.

He's a plot device more than a character tbh and it's why I struggled SO MUCH with figuring out a direction for him in FSR.

because...all the plot is character driven.

And I literally had no USE for a character who's soul purpose was filling in gaps when there weren't any with this cast.

His behavior isn't ever fully dived into like the other three.

I've mentioned this before: I think they cut a stand alone Red Chapter somewhere in development because the way his scene ends to where we see him later after they split up is SO WEIRD.

Funnily enough I find Dark Link and Red very similar. (Which is a huge problem but I'll get into that some other time)

Except Dark Link's inconsistencies and overall character loops back to his creation and he himself being a conflict of interest in Vaati's mind when he created Dark. he WANTED HIS Link back the only person he felt a connection to who he last had on good terms with, paired with wanting to HURT and destroy the current incarnation of Link.

making a twisted as hell individual who simultaneously embodies Link and is Link's twisted mirror image.

Naive uncertain and full of inner turmoil due to his purpose.

But when Dark REALIZES what he is to the truest extent he has to justify or crumble under the weight of his reality. There's a reason i described early Dark link as "Delusional" because he was.

Red just...doesn't have any of that kind of retrospection or intrigue in cannon.

Dark's innocence comes from his naivete but where the fuck does it come from with Red? (and it's proven to be fake anyway because he's the first one to stab someone who they think is their knight friends buuuuuut-)

Red's just canonically a contradiction with no real point and it's never pointed out in the narrative so like...it's just weird and kinda unnerving.

Like I pointed out, he literally acts like Lil Gideon before the reveal he's a crazy maniac.

Except we never GET the reveal for Red.

Red doesn't have any flaws that aren't him playing up his baby persona and fucking shit up for the others. He's just stupid af sometimes and helpful others without much rhyme or reason.

...Again I've said this before but if he was smart in areas Vio was dumb in (liKE IF THE DIRECTIONS THING WAS MORE OBVIOUSLY A CANNON THING IDK IF VIO BEING DICK WITH DIRECTIONS WAS JUST SMTH THEY ACCIDENTILY REPEATED A FEW TIMES OR A REAL INTENTIONAL TRAIT OF HIS) it could have been a fun dynamic but Vio and Red barely interact.

Honestly most of the dynamics I find myself WANTING with Red revolve around Vio...

And, imo his persona is blatantly fake from how often he just...drops it when the plot requires him to or when...idk it's just not NEEDED?

Him not shedding a TEAR when Shadow dies continues to creep me out.

because everything we know about Red tells us he should at least LOOK sat but he just...isn't.

And you can't be like "Oh but Shadow was their enemy"

bLUE GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY THIS ASSHOLE SO MANY TIMES AND HE LOOKS SAD. WHY DOESN'T RED WHO CRIES OVER KILLING ROCK MONSTERS IT'S CREEPYYYYYY.

Like no, I didn't want Red to dramatically burst into tears and ruin the moment, but dude didn't even look SAD.

Didn't look sad a dude with his face DIED.

Burned Blue's ass after JUST CRYING about him being DEAD and just WALKED AWAY.

Like if he had any depth to him this shit would be dived into but he's as shallow as a puddle and I dislike it strongly.

Like if ANY of this shit was even addressed in the manga I'd like him WAY MORE.

but it feels UNINENTIONAL which is the issue I have with Red as a character.

Long as hell walk to say:

I don't wanna spoil stuff but I do think you could have fresh ideas with Red being VERY DIFFRENT from link but my main issue with him in the actual cannon manga is:

He doesn't feel realistically like a part of Link due to my interpretation of the text and it's storytelling, and the WAY the text WANTS portrays him doesn't line up with his actions, and I don't like it.

[universallychaoticpan]

Hii! I really love your stories, they make me so happy even tho im going through some tough times, thank you for your hard work 💕

Soo I thought I could request something, if it's fine with you of course! So we all know how Dazai feels really alienated because he lacks basic human emotions but still wears a facade of outgoing clown. So I'd really love to read something maybe from his perspective when he meets reader who is just like him, and at the beginning he thought that she was just a simple girl but then something happened where she showed her more morally-gray side (apathetic a little) and then suddenly dazai realized that she could be the first person to understand him.

Feel free to ignore my request, I hope you have a wonderful day/night! 💕

Hello!! Thank you so much for being so sweet (y'all are gonna make me cry omg :,) ) I'm so happy I can help make you feel a little better in some small way. Anyway my gushing aside, I hope you enjoy this and come back anytime <333

Dazai knew, for a long, long time, that he was never going to be like everyone else. It simply wasn't his nature. The things others seemed to feel so easily, all the joy, sorry rage- he had to reach for. And he never could hold it; always, they slipped away like water in his hands.

He hated himself for it. In the past, he had questioned why he couldn't feel. He knew he wasn't a good person, but he knew plenty of bad people still capable of feeling something. He supposed Mori had ruined him, all those years ago. If anyone asked, he would blame it on the Port Mafia executive, which doubled as a convenient way to get them to stop asking. People rarely questioned a former mafia prodigy once they knew the slightest details of his past. But deep inside himself, he knew the truth. He had always been the way he was; that was his nature. This thing he was, the emptiness within him- there was no one to blame. He came by it all on his own, all the ugliness inside of him. But he should have been an actor, with all the faking he did. There was no end to how far he could go, how convincing he could be.

But still, he drifted, alone in his lack of feeling to tether him to the world.

Then, of course, like nature always intends, something changed.

You walked into his life, and he could feel you. Not in the sense that you were alive with passion, but quite the opposite.

You were like him.

He could see it in how you smiled, how you laughed- not disingenuous, per say, but lacking. They lacked the way his did. When you showed up, at first glance just another simple person, he found an anomaly. He found a rarity just like himself. All too quickly, he realized the two of you were the last of a dying species.

And his suspicions were confirmed on a summer night like any other, while you were walking home.

He wasn't following you. He kept telling himself that; you were just walking past the bar he had situated himself in that night and hey, it wasn't strange to bump into someone and strike up a conversation. That's what he told himself as he wove through the small clusters of people on the street, a distance between the two of you. But what began as innocent curiosity about you turned as quickly as you did, checking over your shoulders before walking into a narrow alley.

Now he was alight with curiosity; the same small spark that had lured him after you to begin with now spread into his limbs, quickening his pace until he realized he had lost sight of you.

Shit

He couldn't believe he had been so distracted as to loose you. Even worse, he had followed you down into a foggy maze of alleys, branching off in a myriad directions and while he wasn't worried about being lost, he wasn't thrilled about having to find his way back home either.

This of course, ceased to be his prime concern when a shadow came barreling into him, slamming him to the ground with a grunt before pressing a knife to his throat.

"Move and I will kill you. Now tell me why in hell you were following me."

And in spite of himself, he had to laugh. Because instead of some mysterious assailant, he was looking up into your face with your knife digging coolly into his skin. And once you recognized him, you lowered your weapon and took your weight off him, now straddling his hips and staring at him dumbfounded.

"Mind telling me what the punchline is here, Dazai?"

"Oh it's really nothing," he chuckled. "It's just that you were oh so ready to kill me."

"Yes," you replied, rolling your eyes, "I was. I have enemies so naturally I'm ready to kill creeps who follow me into dark alleys at night."

"But that's just it," he responded coyly. "The way you looked at me when you had me on the ground- I see that look every day when I look in a mirror. Let me guess: you could have killed me here and now and not felt a damn thing about it."

"Yeah so what," you shrugged. "Anyone could kill an enemy and not loose sleep over it."

"Wrong," he challenged. "People like to lie to themselves and think they could, but the truth is, most people would feel like a monster for killing even their worst enemy.

You and I are monsters because we know we would feel nothing."

You blinked, then stood up, brushing dirt off your pants as you turned to go. "I don't know what sort of person you've got me pegged for, but you're wrong."

He stood as well, following you still as you began to walk away.

"No, I'm dead right and you know it. Get a drink with me; by sunrise you'll understand we're more alike than even I know."

[kynrki]

SUPER SAD SONGS!

021. confrontations!!!!!

WARNINGS: swearing

its was 6pm, and kazuha had walked into the gym right on time. she looked around and saw sunghoon. she smiled and ran up to him and gave him a tight hug. “hi sunghoon” she said as she smiled at him.

she then heard a sound. it sounded as if someone make their thraot clear. she looked around and saw sunoo and her smile dropped but it quickly picked up as she didnt want anyone to notice. but sunoo did. “hi sunoo” she said with a fake smile. sunoo nodded.

“what did you wanna talk about?” she asked as she looked back at sunghoon. anyone could clearly see how she had heart eyes for him. “well uh-“ “cut the shit, whats your issue kazuha” sunoo cut sunghoon off as he crossed his arms.

“i-i- i dont know what you’re talking about” kazuha laughed nervously. “let me see” sunoo said as he stood up and started walking around the girl in a circle. “threats to sakura about doing all this? ruin all yn’s opportunities? oh and lets not forget, making sure yn didn’t debut? does any of those ring a bell?” sunoo continued as he stood right in front of kazuha, slightly looking down at her with a cold expression.

“w-w-what? how do you even know about all those things!” kazuha shouted in frustration. “we know alot, now are you gonna explain yourself?” sunghoon said as he looked at kazuha with cold eyes. she felt her heart break slightly. she had lost. she truly had. it was like the world was working against her in all ways. “agh that stupid bitch yn, if she wasn’t here then none of this would have happened. dont you see, she ruined my life! she took all the opportunities i could have had, even you sunghoon. im in love with you, but ofc you had to like her. she took everything from me, now its my turn to make her pay.” kazuha said as she grabbed her hair in frustration.

sunoo and sunghoon sat in silence for a while. “why” sunoo asked after a looking at sunghoon for a bit. lazuha sighed softly. “im so tired of being in yns shadow. she was always the one that did the best no matter what, but i’ll give it to her, she practiced hard for everything. she did her best so that she could excel and you could see it but im jus so tired of yn taking everything away from me. the thing that makes it worse is that when she didn’t get the debut spot, she didn’t even seem sad about it. she instead said i deserved it and carried on with her life like normal again which to me is such a huge thing to do. if i didn’t debut i would probably be crying rn yk?” kazuha said as a few tears dropped from her eyes.

“but dont you think you’re going the wrong way about this? like youre creating all this jus so she could feel some sort of remorse but cant you see its not working. yn would’ve shown so much already if it was different but she isnt. and that’s because shes a mentally strong person.” sunghoon said as he felt bad for kazuha.

“i know i have no excuse for what i did, i jus think i was so blinded by the fact that i got it and she didn’t that i wanted her to feel bad. as if all her hardwork went for nothing and that she was useless. it felt so good being in power for once.” kazuha said. “i understand but you need to realise that not everyone is the way you are and how you think.” sunghoon said. “i hope you know this means im not forgiving you at all, but thank you for telling us all this. you need help kazuha. you’re not mentally okay” sunoo said as he sighed and left the gym.

“sunghoon?” kazuha said after they sat in a while in silence. “hm” he hummed. “im sorry” she said softly. sunghoon sighed and walked towards the door. “i shouldn’t be the one youre saying sorry to. youve caused years of healing to sudden be ripped open again. yn needs the apology not me. i hope you know management will be told about all this.” sunghoon said coldly as he left kazuha in the room alone.

masterlist | previous | next

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PAIRINGS — idol!park sunghoon x idol!fem!reader

SYPNOSIS — yln yn and park sunghoon are sworn enemies ever since highschool. unfortunately for yn, she had undeniably huge feelings for sunghoon and wrote love songs for him. now they both are out of school, one being an idol, the other still writing songs in the comfort of their home. what happens when yn accidentally leaks one of her songs that miraculously ends up blowing up? and why does her voice sound so familiar to sunghoon?

TAGLIST (closed) — @yunki4evr @ijustmetyouandthisiscrazy @thisisnotjacinta @trsrina @liliansun @shinsou-rii @seosracha @notdrunkbutdazed @shoooobin @vatterie @kimmchijjajang @ilvsoup @sungookie @vampsvngie @winteringdream @hikyeom @raimbows4u @gfksn @enhasengene @luviehyck @nyfwyeonjun @allcra @luveuly @jwsflower @jihyoscrown @wooniy @fadedluvv @jakelux @enheyy @y4wnjunz @yjwluvs @kyanmeai @indelicate-macalino @sophhloaff @02zluvbot @lowxkie @ohmyhuenings @nomniki @lost-leopard-beanie @captivq @cosmicwintr @ahnneyong @diamondx211 @cyuuupid @lvepsh @xtra-cheese @jeongintwt @butterflyy-ningg @dasa3040 @meiiiwa

[bangtanficarchive]

2022 Halloween Fanfiction Collection

Helllloo again!

Welcome everyone to Bangtan Fic Archive's 2022 spooky Halloween fanfiction collection!!!! We are thrilled to have this master post again! Once again spooky season has arrived and we all know what that means; spooky fanfictions!

This is a master post compiled of horror, supernatural, and fantasy content for your enjoyment! Check them out below and don't forget to give the author some love!

Enjoy!

BTS OT7

Spooked by @alpacaparkaseok →You + all 7 members of BTS visiting a haunted house. What could go wrong? | PG | fluff | horror | humor |

Kim Namjoon

Ensnared by @jamaisjoons →Dragged out by your friends the week before halloween, you hunt down the elusive slenderman. However, none of them know, he’s much closer to you than they think. | M | smut | horror |

Fear - You're My Tear by @springalwayscomes →Cursed and condemned, he couldn’t do anything else but take lives and souls away, killing them with their deepest fear. With her though, it didn’t seem to work. Was she even scared of something? | M | horror |

Kim Seokjin

The Chanting Man by @springalwayscomes →Stopping the car in the middle of a foggy road on Halloween’s night is creepy. Even a shadow standing in the middle of it is creepy, let alone if the shadow turns out to be incredibly beautiful, slides into your car humming a creepy tune and asks you to guide him home. | PG-13 | horror |

Little Red by @lily-blue →The classic story of a girl who pays a visit to her grandma in her red cloak with an itsy-bitsy twist in roles a.k.a. the big bad wolf isn’t that scary anymore. | PG-13 | angst | violence | horror |

In The Woods Somewhere by @7ndipity →A camping trip with your boyfriend takes an unsettling turn when you can't shake the feeling of being watched | PG-13 | angst | horror | violence |

Min Yoongi

The Hunt by @thedarkfactory →"Want To Know Why I Love Playing In The Dark?” | PG-13 | horror | angst |

Scarecrow by @bubmyg →You’re going to keep telling yourself (and Yoongi) that the maze is targeted towards literal children or the one where yoongi growls at a fake scarecrow. | PG | fluff | humor |

DreamCatcher by @jimlingss →When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser. | PG-13 | angst | horror | fluff |

What the Water Gave Us by @hobivore →What was supposed to be a quiet Tuesday night in the middle of a hectic week is ruined by the sudden arrival of a strange man. | M | angst | horror |

Jung Hoseok

"If This Movie Is Scary, I'm Breaking Up With You" by @joheun-saram →Hoseok loses a bet and now has to endure watching your favorite horror movie. | PG-13 | fluff | horror | humor |

Potions and Poisons by @jjungkookislife →Reviving your memories last Hallows Eve was just the beginning for you and your warlock husband. You’ve quite settled in nicely to your life as his wife and even found a town where you won’t have to fear for your lives. Everything just seems to be falling into place while you simmer in marital bliss. However, your magic still needs some fine tuning… | M | smut |

Park Jimin

Blessing and a Curse by @btsmosphere →You are the unlukiest person you know. Park Jimin seems to be the exception to the rule. But when strange dreams start haunting you, Jimin begins to piece together the events that have followed you your whole life… | PG-13 | fluff | angst | romance | humor |

The Cave Dweller by @girl8890 →It started out as a curiosity, then you met a being that took up your interest altogether. You’ve always been the type of person to comfort those who are lonely, you just didn’t expect your new found friend to be a cave monster. A monster that teaches you tricks of magic, and you eventually teach him your own dirty tricks. | M | smut | angst | horror |

Lovely Demons by @kpopfanfictrash →As penance for a crime committed long, long ago, the Witch Council banished you to the feared Tholoss forest. Your sentence was one hundred thousand days of solitude – or death, whichever came first. Your only hope of salvation comes from the demon names routinely sent your way; creatures who escape the inner circles of Hell and pose a threat to the mortal realms. For each demon you kill, days are removed from your sentence. For years you’ve existed, biding your time, until one morning you receive a name which throws your entire world into chaos: the name of Park Jimin, High Prince of Hell himself. | M | smut | violence | angst | fluff |

Kim Taehyung

Visitation of a Lover by @flowesona →It just so happened that through death that they would be brought together. | PG-13 | angst | horror | violence |

Reset Character by @almostkoo →Oc gets dared by friends to spend the night in a supposedly “haunted” mansion that used to belong to a upcoming actor in the 70’s, Kim Taehyung, oc comes face to face with the spector himself and has questions about the broken veil. | PG-13 | angst | horror | fluff |

Jeon Jeongguk

What, Are You Scared? by @honeytae →You vowed a long time ago to stay away from scary movies… | PG-13 | fluff | horror | romance |

Virgin Sacrifice by @girl8890 →Since the day you were born, your parents prepared you for your sacrifice. The whole village knew, and with that everyone stayed away from you. Thinking even just looking at you would make the demon in waiting mad. The demon that has been praying on you since birth, but not for what you expected. | M | smut | horror |

Deal by @jeonstudios →What do you do when your teenage brother’s cancer is too far gone? well, you summon a cocky crossroad demon to make a deal; your life for Taehyung’s. | M | smut | angst | horror | violence | fluff |

House of Cards by @cyberdva →A vacation by the shore with a break from constant labor was all a young couple could dream of and when that time finally presented itself it was exactly what they pounced for. A tiny community on the edge of a coastline caught the attention of a young idol and his hidden lover, yet the all but homey atmosphere chipped away at an alarming rate past their arrival. Small happenings caught the eye of the sharp-witted woman, more and more occurrences kept shoving chilling encounters her way. Something was brewing and with the faith of next to no one it was in her hands to keep the life of her dearest at bay along with the force of a menacing spirit having ties to hundreds of myths, it might just be too late. Was it time for a final goodbye? | PG-13 | fluff | horror | angst |

Bangtan Fic Archive does not own any of the fanfictions or photos featured in this post. All rights reserved to their original creators.

[doomed-prophetess]

Darkest derrick x og Penelope headcanon

I have a few

Penelope is attracted to men who resemble Derrick (dark haired, elder brother type, obsessive/possessive yandere) but isn't aware of it. Derrick is attracted to women who resemble Penelope and he is fucking aware of it.

she's a magnet to batshit crazy men

he never said "I love you" to her. The only time when he might have said it was when she left him behind to die. It was so out of character for him to say such a thing that she didn't turn around, because she didn't trust her ears and later she believes she might have misheard him because "I love you" are the words she yearned to hear the most.

I don't think there is any love between them. Not even a little bit. It's the relationship of an abuser with his victim. For Derrick it was only about power and control.

The strange thing about Derrick is that at times I can see him acting like he doesn't enjoy it. As if he is disgusted with Penelope even though he lusts after her. He'd wash his hands compulsively after having touched her, rinse his mouth after having kissed her, sometimes he doesn't even look at her and just looks at her reflection in the window. He'd throw away his handkerchief or any of his belongings that came into contact with her as if he was afraid he could catch an illness from her.

I don't think he likes being the one to initiate things either. He'd perceive the one who chases after love as the weaker person. So he would make her come to him. He'd give her affection in small doses just to make her realize how much she hungers for it and then turn cold and ignore her for days whenever she rejects any sexual advances. It's absolutely vile. He'd repeat that pattern until it gets to the point where she is the one knocking at his door and throwing herself at him and begging him not to tell father.

She'd have a really unhealthy view of sex. There is no association to love and intimacy. It has become something that you trade for other things. Once she has managed to escape from Derrick, when Penelope has found someone she really likes, there might be the possibility that she is truly horrified of the idea of having sex with them and thinks it could ruin their relationship. She'd push them away ("If I won't allow you to be close to me you can't be intimate with me/hurt me.") But there is also the possibility that she offers sex too quickly for basic acts of kindness. Basically she'd have very little self respect in these regards.

if Derrick gets her pregnant with a child she might try to abort it illegally (or die trying to self-abort because she has no medical knowledge) or, if it ended up looking like Derrick, murder her child after giving birth to it (and then she'd get sentenced to death for child murder or she would commits suicide beforehand shortly after she has regained her senses and regrets everything)

I can also imagine that she attempts to be a goods mother to her son or daughter and manages to raise them decently most of the time but when her child reaches a certain age (the age she was adopted into the Eckart duchy) she just can't be in the same room with them anymore because she is so so afraid that she might end up abusing them even though she never would

Derrick could be the type of yandere who keeps the corpse of their s/o and refuses to bury it

after Penelope's death Derrick starts treating Ivonne/Leila like Penelope as he gradually loses his mind and, if you want it even darker, he eventually ends up having sex with her to cope with Penelope's death. It'd be an ironic twist of fate if the original daughter of the duke in whose shadow Penelope stood, always unable to live up to her image no matter how much she tried, would turn into nothing but a fake and replacement for her. Leila would certainly have her fun to doom another soul to hell

[jgabriel1920]

Domestic Disturbance

𝕀 𝕕𝕚𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕒 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥, 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕝𝕠𝕝

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: 𝕍𝕚𝕠𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖, 𝕘𝕠𝕣𝕖, ℕ𝕖𝕠-ℕ𝕒𝕫𝕚 (𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪), 𝕍𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕒.

The van came to a full stop, the back doors opening to let the killer out on a alleyway, buildings similar to old European ones being the things that didn't let him see the sky. The driver didn't even say nothing and drove away, but it was expected. He had to follow another voice.

"Great, mi Matador, just go straight ahead and do what your born to do~" Valentina sultry voice came in the air piece like a siren call, sending goosebumps in him. He walked forward while trying to ignore the strange feeling in his chest that made it look like she was breathing down his ear, and the fact he didn't know if he enjoyed or not.

The cannibal town looked a lot more sweet than what he would expect, not as clean as Vox clean offices but certainly more welcoming, it was full of flowers and street lamps that made the place look 50 years older.

A tall fence blocked his way, a crude graffiti saying "This way dumbass".

He jumped up and fell down on a backyard, his foot barely making a sound on the fake grass. The sign seemed to be for someone else too as another person stood in the middle.

Strangely it wasn't a cannibal, the way his clothes looked more wannabe military showed it. Strange runes fillied his fur, but the swastika made it all clear.

" Yo, that's our turf n- no wait he isn't black, why the fuck would anyone be?" He talked to himself, clearing his throat and saying the same line slightly different.

"Seems like someone wants to be the protagonista. Oh, no, no, no~ give him a taste of inferior race."

The killer looked around, finding a hedge trimmer in the ground near a bush. He grabs it and sneaks his way to the cat like being, giving a deep breath to prepare himself.

Closing the hedge, it cuts the neo-nazi back, agony leaving his mouth as he turns around for a punch. Thinking quick on his foot the killer opens and closes the trimmer on the hand and cuts it clean off, as the cat screams more. "FUCKING FAG-"

He falls forward slightly but it's enough for the killer to put the blades on the nazi neck and close on it. It proved to be harder as the man flapped his arms around trying to stop the killer to no success. His eyes getting void of life as a sick crunch sound comes with his head falling on the ground, his limp body following suit.

He cringed as he watched the body, blood staining the grass like a new coat of paint on a wall.

"Ah, perfeito~ almost had a accident here~" she chuckles in a deep voice. "Cmon, I think it's time for the real deal. Go for the other fuckers with stick up their asses!"

He didn't need to be told twice as the windows filled with light with whispers on it. He grabbed the dead man's head and ran to the other fence, falling in another alleyway that lead to a proper little park. He walked along the shadows as a street lamp gave way to other people seeing the commotion. A guard stayed on the entrance of the alleyway, saying for people to be away. Another perfect opportunity as Valentina would say, although the killer would see it as more ways to ruin this place.

He ran the open trimmer on the man back, this time stabbing to the other side. A grunt came from the cannibal as he tried pushing the blade back. The killer closed the blade, struggling but managing to cut the man spine in half. The body folded on itself, the head hitting his own boots as he looked around panicking without moving.

"Creative today aren't we~ that's why I love you good boy~ But careful, we got company." he looked to his side as she finished her phrase, three cannibals with spiked canes and knifes running his way. The killer ran through the small park, jumping to the small trees in the middle and hiding in the shadows. He climbed up as he could still hear them.

"Grab the Bastard, he shall serve as the next feast!" One said, far away for him to do anything.

"Don't hide little mouse, you can't be there forever. Let's just talk like civil beings." A lady with a maniac grin said as she patted her own cane. Still too far.

"Rosie will love Immigrant meat, I just know it!" One younger said with a knife, just close enough.

The killer jumped down from the tree, trimmer closed as it ran through the young adult nape and forced him on his knees. A grueling noise came as he tried to scream, unable though the blood on his mouth. The killer struggled to remove the blade but managed, just in time to get jumped on by the old cannibal.

"I show you a lesson you will not forget!" The knife he holds stabbed at him, but the killer managed to puts his arms on the way, still making in grunt in pain. The old man kept stabbing like a maniac, the killer not having a lot to defend himself. That's when he looked away and saw the other knife. He grabbed it, receiving a blade on the torso, probably Hitting something important, but he gritted his teeth and cut the cannibal neck, showering him in blood. He pushed the old man back and stabbed both of his eyes, making sure he was down, and jumped away from a attack. The cannibal head exploded as the cane hit it, the lady looking at him with a death stare. "Soulless maniac!" She went for a vertical attack as he dodged to the side, pushing his knife to the woman's abdomen. He holded her arm as he kept stabbing, the woman falling to her knees as he pushed the blade up to he chest and letting her go.

He holds his chest while resting on a tree, pain running through him like the adrenaline, both keeping him alive and up, but that was near it's finish line.

"Alright, the footage his good I say. Just do me a favor and light that store on the back on fire good boy~"

He limped his way to it, the store being one full of old electronics. A unlit Molotov sit hidden underneath a hot dog stand with a match. He tried lighting it up but failed, falling on the ground on his butt, and tried again more focused, this time the fire filling the paper. He got up and broke the door window with his elbow, throwing the Molotov inside and starting a great flame. He limped away to the street, but stopped as cannibal ran his way, mist them a lady on the back stood up with being a lot taller than the others. He couldn't see with a clear vision but she wore lot's of reds, almost like another trace of blood on the street. A honking scared him as he look behind to the van, the guard grabbing him by the arm and throwing him inside. The van speed away, the guard patching the killer up like a thousand times before. It all seemed like a regular case but... Why it felt so different?

[themculibrary]

Maria Hill Masterlist

Date Night (ao3) - natashasbanner carol/maria T, 9k

Summary: Carol and Maria have been friends for years and are practically inseparable. It only made sense for Carol to move in with Maria and Monica. And it worked out for awhile.

But when Maria starts dating again, it digs up feelings Carol thought were long buried. She refused to ruin their friendship because of her stupid crush, but will she end up doing it anyway?

Done With the Games (ao3) - insxouts clint/maria E, 3k

Summary: Clint is tired of Maria riding around on that high horse of hers. He figures it’s about time someone knocked her off of it. Can he truly get under her skin, though?

Gone to the Dogs (ao3) - avesnongrata, Woodface maria/natasha M, 173k

Summary: Being assigned guard detail is not exactly what Maria Hill wants from her first week at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, but she really didn’t expect it to turn out like this.

I Knew Life Was Never Meant to Be Easy (ao3) - ChElFi maria/sam T, 6k

Summary: Maria knew there would be fallout when she followed Steve to take down SHIELD and HYDRA, she just never imagined how far and wide it would spread across her life. Still, she wouldn't go back and change it. She knew life was never meant to be easy. First story in a five part series. MCU canon-compliant, as far as my old brain can recall. T for language.

Keep Calm And Curbstomp HYDRA (ao3) - tielan G, 2k

Summary: Maria Hill is not known as a people person.

laughter is the best medicine (ao3) - sweetwatersong G, 1k

Summary: Five times Sam Wilson has a good laugh, and one time Maria Hill has the last one.

Maria Hill and the Three Bears (ao3) - RomanoffonamoR implied clint/natasha/bobbi T, 17k

Summary: Maria Hill gets tasked with babysitting Little Natasha, Clint, and Bobbi.

What could possibly go wrong?

Maria Hill is Not a Robot (ao3) - anothersouladrift maria/steve M, 11k

Summary: Starts out as The Avengers movie from Maria Hill's point of view. Continues on post avengers, following the development of Steve and Maria's relationship.

Maria Hill's Interview At Stark Industries (ao3) - lita pepper/tony G, 5k

Summary: Tony was very interested in attending the interview of Maria Hill at Stark Industries because he was just being Tony. What mayhem would he cause? Would Maria kill Tony by the end of the day? Would Pepper help?

Rebuild, Replan (ao3) - D4RKL0RDR3V4N T, 2k

Summary: In the wake of Civil War, the Avengers are scattered. What remains under the authority of the Accords is a shadow of what it should be. However, a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is on a mission. A mission to protect the world, a world that needs the Avengers.

Reform (ao3) - just_makeing_it_gay_97 maria/natasha T, 4k

Summary: Maria is taken by the Red Room, this is how that goes.

Rumour Has It (ao3) - linguamortua G, 1k

Summary: Maria at work and Maria at home are two very different people, a fact which causes much confusion at SHIELD when she starts spending a lot of time with Sam Wilson. In which: SHIELD bros are terrible, Maria loves food and ex-military cynicism in alive and well in DC.

The Bounty Hunter and the Spy (ao3) - uofmdragon maria/sam T, 7k

Summary: Sam and Maria meet for the first, second, and third time.

The Devil's Keeper (ao3) - TheTruthAboutLove maria/natasha E, 161k

Summary: Maria stopped as soon as she entered the room and raised her eyes towards the woman in the cage, the reason they were called and ordered there. The alleged Black Widow. The red hair, the green eyes, even the curious tilt of her chin were familiar to her. She knew that woman.

“Natasha?”

“Who told you that name?" [...] "I've never seen you before. But whatever I did to you,” she paused and faked a smirk, she felt her fingers begin to tingle, her jump was about to end, her time was almost up, “I'm going to enjoy every second of it.”

The Perfect Girlfriend (ao3) - TheTruthAboutLove maria/natasha M, 63k

Summary: Maria’s sister is getting married and her parents are trying to set her up with a date for the wedding. Natasha offers to go with her, instead, because what could possibly go wrong while pretending you’re dating the best friend you’re actually in love with? They’re super spies, so they’re exceptionally good at lying. Especially to themselves.

True Resurrection (ao3) - Vampiric_Ant T, 24k

Summary: A year after the events of "Secret Invasion", Maria Hill mysteriously appears on S.A.B.E.R. Space Station. Only she's not the Maria Hill whom Fury knew.

Under the Glow of an Orange Shaped Moon (ao3) - RomanoffonamoR N/R, 4k

Summary: Little Maria Hill really misses her Auntie Nat. What happens when she decides to break a few rules in order to talk to her?

Weekend Plans (ao3) - avesnongrata maria/natasha M, 43k

Summary: Maria Hill is looking forward to a quiet weekend alone, but a break-in at her apartment disrupts her plans.