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andreas-river · 2 years ago

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Bullied!Reader gained the Courage to come to The 141 boys + König knowing they are all a scary bunch and of Commanding rank to hopefully stop the bullying they were experiencing for a bit. They feel guilty for being a Solider who couldn’t handle it by themselves, but they beg for their help despite it.

“ I didn’t want it to come to this…I swear…I just don’t know what else to do…”

TW: bullying, mention of misoginy, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, fem!reader.

A/N: hello Anon, thanks for your request, sorry it took so long. I decided to write it without separating the characters, I think it makes the idea better like this!

Disclaimer: Too many people are bullied, and sadly it happens too often, and I have fallen into this deep hole myself. It can be both physical and psychological, and it is an devius but unforgiving form of violence. I hope this can give comfort to those who need it: asking for help IS NOT a form of weakness, sometimes even talking about it with a trusted person can make a difference.

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Asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world. Admitting that we cannot do it on our own with our own strength is like a display of vulnerability that not everyone allows themselves to do: there are to many sharks around, and they are all out for blood.

But every day it was getting harder and harder, and it was almost embarrassing knowing the context in which you had been living for many years. Numerous missions made you used to the horrors of a military life, and the sight of blood had not affected you for a long time. You don't remember exactly how or when it started, but the stares of the men around you became more and more insistent, not giving you any peace, voices murmuring in the hallways as you passed by when you might have just been on your way to the gym or Price's office to fill out the various papers and get them in order.

Fortunately, you shared the office with Soap and Ghost, and more recently, König, who had been temporarily reassigned to 1-4-1 for future missions. All three were certainly much better company than the other soldiers, between the various chats with Soap, Ghost's jokes – so awful they were actually funny – and König's charisma, it actually made the day better, at least for the hours spent at the desk.

The nightmare continued during the rest of the days, and with it grew the guilt within you: you never responded to all those comments that reached your ears – being a woman in the Task Force apparently was impossible, to the point of comments that made your skin crawl with disgust, nauseated at the very thought. You knew that you had worked hard to get where you were today, and that you had earned the rank of Sergeant on your own, with your own strength, always willing to give your all, even while doing chores around the base.

With a sigh, you had forced yourself to walk to your room, which was on the opposite side of the offices, knowing that you would pass anyone who would murmur about you, after all, it was just after dinner and the corridors were much more crowded than usual.

As expected, the stares didn't take long to arrive, and a few murmurs began to reach your ears. Quickening your pace, you found yourself panting in front of the door to your room – literally running away from all those people, feeling like you had no choice. The thought brought tears to your eyes, but you had no other choice.

Since you woke up, every movement around you put you on edge, the day started like any other, but the knowledge of admitting something like this made you nervous. You were sure they would understand, as they often asked if you were okay, checking up on you as a family. A strange one, but one of the best.

As you walked into your office like any other day, you found Ghost and Soap talking, both greeting you as you entered the room. You waited silently for them to finish their conversation, distractedly listening to the fact that they wanted to change some exercises about the training, sneaking closer to them, still wondering if it was the right choice – you were literally the same rank as Soap – and you handled worse situations better than this one, where your life or others were at stake.

You were so deep in your own thoughts that it took you some time to realize that both men were trying to get your attention, and you snapped back to reality when the door to the office burst open, revealing the tall and looming figure of König.

Soap placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed gently with a warm smile on his face, "Hey – are you okay?"

You took a deep breath and felt König's presence at your side. You had a knot in your throat and you hoped not to stutter too much with your voice. "Yeah, I mean - kinda." The three men frowned, a bit confused by your behaviour in front of them. "I... don't know what else to do. I swear, I..."

The knot threatened to break at any moment, and you weren't so sure you wouldn't cry in front of your squadmates. "Every time I leave this office to just go somewhere, everyone starts talking–" you swallowed the luno in your throat again, feeling on the verge of tears. "They murmur about me, even disgusting things, and I know they aren't the truth, but now it happens every single day, every single moment I spend outside my room or this office–"

"Hey, hey, slow down..." Soap blocked you and made you sit down, Ghost still watching intently as König handed you a tissue, blinking and noticing that you were really crying. "Since when?"

Blowing your nose, you managed to mumble "a few weeks", letting the room fall silent after your words, except for your own stiffles, until Ghost resumed the conversation. "For today, you'll stay here and help Soap. König, you are with me today."

They all looked into each other's eyes in silent agreement, leaving you alone with the Scottish man. "They'll take care of everything, okay?" he hugged you gently, and you finally felt the weight off your shoulders, enough to allow you to breathe a little more.

Walking down the hall to breakfast felt strange, there was so much silence and fewer people, it felt so different when you spotted the others sitting at a table, you walked towards them with your coffee and found a place between Gaz and Ghost, with the others around.

"Sleep well?" Ghost murmured, leaning in your direction. For a moment you couldn't answer – there was so much silence that the atmosphere felt unreal. "Yeah, but... what happened?"

Price smiled as Ghost answered you. "There were... training changes."

You stared back at him, absorbing his words. You've never experienced anything like this in your life, and everyone helped you so quickly that you didn't even realize it was happening. You thanked him, a warm smile on your face as you came back to sip your coffee, finally relieved as you realized this was the best decision you could have made.

#call of duty #141 x reader #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #könig #task force 141 #mw2 141 #141 + könig x reader #cod mwii #call of duty mw2 #cod #cod mw #simon riley #request #request open

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glitteredbubbles · 5 months ago

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Here’s a masterlist of every fic I’ve written just to have everything in one place! I’ve been writing and posting on ao3 for almost 3 years now, totaling in me writing over 347k words across 8 fics, so I thought it’d be fun to go over all of them kind of retrospectively! It’ll be in order of release, so oldest to most recent :)

Fics I’ve written:

To Boil a Wildflower: the very first fic I ever wrote, and I have such a soft spot for it! It’s for the IT fandom, specifically Reddie, and it’s basically my take on how I imagined what the Loser’s last summer together before senior year would be like. But I also made Richie obsessed with making wildflower tea and added probably way too much angst; anyway, I love my OCs in this, Angie and Walt :) it ended up being 58k words and 5 chapters long.

That’s Where We Disagree: this is a fem!Reddie oneshot I based off of my own tragic lesbian experience, so it may be the saddest thing I’ve ever written. It’s basically how I imagined things would go for Richie if Eddie got a boyfriend senior year (with a hefty amount of religious trauma incorporated because of course). It ended up being 9.2k words with only one chapter!

Spit the Blood Back: this is where it gets insane lmao. So this is specifically for Riddlebat in The Batman (2022), and the way this fic came to be is that I had an insane idea that I jokingly told my friends about, to which they insisted that I should actually write a fic for because the concept was too good to pass up. And since I figured nobody else would do it, I ended up writing a fic where the Riddler has to take up sex work in order to get the funds for his vengeance plan in the movie and is hired by his arch enemy Bruce Wayne. Insane in retrospect, but it was my first time writing for a different fandom and a fun exercise! It was a oneshot, so it ended up being 14.4k words with only one chapter.

Your Revolution is a Deathbed: of course I had to finish the ambiguous ending I gave to my Riddlebat prostitution fic, so that’s how this one was born. I had gotten enough comments asking for a continuation to inspire me to write more, so I ended up altering the film’s plot with their new relationship in mind. Still very angsty and insane, but arguably less so since it’s basically the movie with established relationship Riddlebat haha. It ended up being 13.8k words with only one chapter!

Static From My Better Sense: this was the multi-chapter fic I was working on while I did all of those previous one shots! I wanted to write an enemies to lovers Reddie fic, so that’s how this work came to be! I thought it’d be fun to make Richie the new kid that Eddie hates so much that he rants to his walkie-talkie about it since none of the Losers understand his perspective. Both of them are such assholes in this and I love them for it. This fic took me over a year to finish, and it ended up being 63.5k words with 5 chapters!

Short-Flamed: this fic is for the Stranger Things fandom, specifically Harringrove, and it was born because I had a phase where I read a TON of Steve x Billy fics purely because I loved the angst. I wanted to try my hand at it since I thought a character study of Billy would be super interesting, but sadly it is incomplete since I’ve lost my inspiration for it. I have a good portion of the second chapter written, I would just need to think of how to end it and get motivation for it again; who knows, maybe I will someday. As of right now, it’s incomplete at 9.9k words with only one chapter.

Let Me Wallow in Your Afterglow: my most successful (and also longest) fic to date by a long shot! It’s my first fic in the DPS fandom, specifically Anderperry. Basically, it’s my take on what would have happened if the last 30 minutes of the movie didn’t occur and if Neil made it to senior year! I really liked the idea of Neil and Todd’s relationship naturally blossoming if they had more time, so that’s why I wrote this. I also incorporated a lot of poetry, Keating’s lessons, and playwriting on Neil’s part since I basically wanted it to function as its own canon or a continuation of the movie. I spent basically an entire year writing this fic, so all of the attention and love it’s gotten has been so incredible! I’m still contemplating adding an epilogue chapter, so we’ll see. As of right now, though, it is 125.9k words with 7 chapters!

I Read You for Some Kind of Poem: my second Anderperry work and possibly my saddest fic to date! The concept is if Neil didn’t kill himself and followed through with military and medical school while Todd went on to become a semi-famous poet, and then the two of them run into each other about twenty years later. It’s actually a repurposed Reddie fic idea I had, the poet part and all, so it’s really funny how perfect it worked for Anderperry. Upon further reflection, I’ve concluded that I was subconsciously fighting for the title of the saddest Anderperry fic when writing this haha. Anyway it ended up being 51.9k words with 4 chapters!

#maybe I am insane #but I love writing fanfic idc #I will always do it no matter where I am in life #it fandom #reddie #reddie fanfic #the batman #riddlebat #riddlebat fanfic #stranger things #harringrove #harringrove fanfic #dead poets society #anderperry #anderperry fanfic #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 writer

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lizardrosen · 11 months ago

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So I Turned Myself to Face Me

penelope werewolf au, part three (one, two)

“For the first several months I was so tired all the time, but my first season had scarcely begun, so I decided I was just worn out from all the excitement and endless luncheons and dances. It can be fun, even when you've been pushed to the edges, but it truly is work.” She pounds her fist into the cushion next to her. “I told Mama it was too early for my debut, practically begged her for one more year of freedom. Well, freedom ended up finding me, didn't it?”

Eloise leans in closer. “What does it feel like to change, to break free of the cage of yourself.”

Penelope rolls her eyes just a tiny bit. “Do try not to romanticize it. That fatigue was the change at first, while the real work was done just under the surface, where no one could see. My organs had to rearrange themselves, pumping blood faster, making sure I could hear and smell correctly when the time came. And then one morning I woke to find dirt caked to my feet, and the next day, and the next. I bet you can guess what the nights before had been.”

“The full moon! But you still didn't know?”

“No, I couldn't remember anything at all, but my body knew what to do and where to take us. Wolf Penelope was even kind enough to fold my nightdress before transforming so I wouldn't have to explain why it was ruined, but she never thought to leave a note for me. I thought I might be losing my mind, El, really I did.”

“Are you and... the wolf... really so different from each other? Surely you're parts of the same person?”

“Now we are, yes, but I had to know she was there to be a part of me in the first place. It was Marina Thompson – Lady Crane, now – who figured out what was happening to me. We were quickly becoming friends and I knew I could trust in her secrecy. I wondered for a bit if her condition really was contagious but she laughed in my face and said I'd know if I were with child. And then she listened to my symptoms and said they sounded familiar.”

“Is Marina also a werewolf, then?”

“No, but it seems to be more common in the country, or at least less of a secret. It's not so much that they're wilder there, but they're accustomed to wildness and know that wildness alone does not make something a threat, and some threats you just have to learn to live with. So every farmer has a few sheep set aside in case it's their month, and the county squire has funds to pay back the damage. No one needs to get shot in the paw, and no one needs to know who was prowling the night. There's just more space to be who you are, and heavens above, space to run, it's wonderful!” Penelope scoffs at herself. “Now look who's romanticizing a freedom that isn't quite so simple.”

“There's nothing wrong with demanding the space you're owed,” Eloise insists. “Even if that means you expect more than the world can deliver – that's the first step in changing the world.”

“That may be so,” she says with a fond smile. Oh her dear friend, always fighting to change the world whether it's ready or not, what would Penelope do without her? “Marina did make space for me then, a space away from my sisters, away from citrus colors. With her I could just take the time to meet myself anew. She taught me some exercises that her beau George had used to remember that he was still human even under the fur. I think helping me was a way for her to feel close to him after he stopped writing, but sometimes she sent me away because my auburn fur just reminded her I wasn't George. We took a break during the new moon, and kept practicing control, so after another fortnight I saw through the wolf's eyes even when the moon was at its strongest, so I could curl up on the floor if I wanted.”

“Did you? It seems an awful waste!”

“There's three days of the full moon, when I don't have a choice but to change, and that first night, when I knew I would remember, I had to stay in my room. I had to know I could do it. The next day I did go out to join the revels. It's always such a joy when a new monster girl is welcomed to the fold – they make her feel like a queen.”

“Revels, how exciting! Did you get drunk? Does it take a different sort of spirits for a werewolf to get drunk? Oh, who else was there?”

Penelope's frown is instant. “Now that's a question you don't ask. Our very survival depends on recognizing each other by subtle signs, but also on no one knowing who all the others are, and we don't just tell outsiders.”

“Pen, you've known me for years!”

“Yes, but this isn't one of our espionage games from when we were girls. I trust you, El, I do, but for this one thing you'll have to earn my trust all over again.”

#bridgerton #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton #penelope werewolf au #this verse will need an actual title soon but this will do for now #my writing

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sorrinslays · 8 months ago

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It's been a month since I started having economics classes, so I decided to write down some of my interactions with my teacher

We got into a fight about the genocide in Palestine. He refused to call it a genocide, insisting it's a war because Palestinians have guns and if they didn't, they would've already been dead. His source was Netanyahu's words taken from a New York Times article (I think? I don't remember from where the article was, but pretty sure it was The New York Times).

Said that the on going genocide is kind of the Palestinian's fault for using violence. He said that they should've talked the issue out. When I tried to explain to him that they tried peaceful protests and such and they were killed, he kept repeating himself.

Claimed boycotts are useless and do nothing.

In another argument, he said that autistic people are mentally behind and that an 18 year old autistic person has the mental compacity of a 15 year old.

When I said that it'd be nice to have some kind of free seminar every decade or so for teachers to see how different kids' childhood's are now so they understand and empathize with them easier, he said that's unrealistic, and that teachers don't need to empathize or understand their students, they just need to teach.

Was complaining about phones and that kids don't go outside anymore, saying "back in my day, me and my friends would run towards the basketball court and play until our parents would drag us back". He's 23.

When I was trying to explain to him that almost everything costs money to do and what is free the youth finds a bit boring (i.e. going to the park) compared to being online. He just hit me with the nuh-uh.

Spent 30 minutes telling me to get a math tutor because the exercises we are gonna do in the future are gonna get more difficult and then gave me examples of different exercises and asked me what I would do to solve them (the exercises were from chapters 8-10 (I'm on chapter 1)). When I tried to explain that I've had tutors in the past and they have not helped me at all and it's more of a confidence thing, he ignored me and continued with his tangent.

Tried convincing me to go to a different school (that is kind of looked down upon because of the students) arguing it's good even though a year ago he was talking shit about that school (I know cause my brother used to have him as a teacher)

Tried convincing me to go a to private school and when I told him I don't agree with private school because I believe all knowledge should be free he ignored me and kept on going about how good they are.

I can't remember any other ones, I'll update this as the year goes on I guess

#I do not try to start these arguments by the way #they just happen because he says the same thing over and over to the point that when I try to stop it he goes onto tangent #it's only the first month too like #palestinian genocide #economics #autism #text post #sorrin rambles

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madelinemsnyder · 2 years ago

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I Get Around

I’d like to think I’m a good traveler. I’ve been around and if I haven’t, I act like I’ve been around.

I am low maintenance and resourceful, well I try to be. I wear my big headphones, make selective contact (probably only if I’m flirting), walk fast, and talk to nobody. I mind my business, I’m introverted, and I have this reckless confidence about me. Yet I know balance and the benefits of being extroverted and asking for help when I need it. Unfortunately, I have very little (basically none) sense of danger about me, so I write this to myself as a reminder to my share location with friends. And maybe carry some self defense like pepper spray and/or enroll in a self defense class. I just trust God and the Universe. I kinda love not knowing what’s going to happen.

Wherever I am, I try to act like a local, like I know the area well, and I’ve got places to go. I usually do have places to go or places in mind. But sometimes I wander out of curiosity. I choose to be around people depending on my mood. Mainly, I am motivated to be outside near the trees, water, skyline, sunset, sunrise. Always as I am chasing feelings of peace and awe and wonder and excitement and love.

When I asked others what it means to be good at traveling, people agreed that it’s necessary to be open to new experiences. Move like a local and at one’s own pace. Be adaptable and comfortable being uncomfortable. Travel demands we exercise our muscles of resilience and resourcefulness. After all, growth happens outside our comfort zones.

Even unintentionally, our brains expand when we travel. As we make mental maps of new places. We begin to know places intimately. We learn the streets, the subway system, the spots to go. I’ve always felt a connection to my internal compass. This intuitive feeling that if I can get myself one place one time, I can always get myself back. I made it to New York last summer, and I made it back this summer just like I’m meant to be.

My first time in New York was last year in June 2022. My initial thoughts compared the city to a dirtier version of Europe with less walkability and accessibility (with the additions of hyper consumerism and late stage capitalism). Since my time here, I can testify to the city’s reputation about the density and variety of people that all variably influence the culture. By the standards of many people inside and outside the country, everything happens here, and I am grateful to feel that every opportunity is at my fingertips. But because everything happens here, extreme excess and luxury exist beside extreme poverty (a tangent for another time). Like Jay Z said, half of y’all won’t make it.

So in June of this year, I am in New York City again. Maybe because I look for connections everywhere, the Victorian houses lining the Brooklyn streets where I stay remind me of where I grew up. Same but different. Maybe because I search for home everywhere I go, something about being here feels very comfortable.

Being here, like anywhere, has me wondering about the lived experiences of those growing up here, dying here. And I imagine my lived experience had I existed in this space before now. I realize I am still growing up here and I can die anywhere.

There’s both an innocence and a naivety to traveling. We search for answers and discover more questions. Does travel exist in contrast to home? Do you search for home in all the places and people you meet? Oh all the places you’ll go and the people you’ll meet.

Is there a place meant for everyone? Or is everyone meant for a place? Most often we find answers within ourselves, where the answers have been all along. But we needed the journey for the discovery. Can my heart belong to the whole world? If so, I insist on it.

[2 October 2023]

#travel #writers #culture #new york city #city life #city girls #love

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indigo474 · 5 months ago

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11225- full moon vibes

sometimes I think the universe likes to test me... are you really who you say you are? Yesterday Ryan invited me to church. how could I say no after saying I wouldn't say no if someone asked me to go to church. so off to church I went. my Aunt was happy to see me. Today was about Jesus baptism. I remember my baptism.. in the same church. I think I was 4. when I was little the church seemed so dark. I remember laying in the pews staring up at the ceiling. Aunt Joanne showed me her class room. I woke up tired and wanted to not get dressed and not go outside... but I told Ryan I would be there.. i'm glad I went. today is my Mom's 70th birthday. I got her a cake and a card and olive oil because thats what she asked for. I wanted to take her out to eat or order food but when I got there they already ate. It wasn't a great visit. it got better but i left feeling upset and just sad. always with the do you want a gummie... no I don't and somehow that became me thinking i'm better than her- it got weird. she got weird - it was emotionally draining. I'm currently sleeping with 3 books- i'm back on the Gita- which I should have finished a long time ago- the problem is it puts me to sleep- I can only read 2 pages at a time. How many times in how many different ways can it be said that Krishna is everything- all encompassing- Also the Gita says Krishna takes the form of the whole universe that Arjuna has a hard time looking at- he begs Krishna to take on the form of a human so he can look at him without being upset by his appearance. I googled it and I didn't think it was disturbing at all. It's funny though because listening today in church there are similarities between Krishna and the Holy Trinity. I got another self help book- how to be a self help savage- its a cute book and I mostly got it to support an Instagram account I follow- its mostly advice for people just starting out in the healing journey- I'm sure I will get something from it but i'm pretty deep in at this point- it has advice like "never speak bad about yourself"- pretty basic level 1 self help stuff- I was thinking about giving it to Ryan but I'm not sure he reads.- and the Comedy bible- the good news is I got a book case-the bad news is I have to put it together. I've sworn off putting furniture together and yet here I am with another thing to put together. the birds are back on their bullshit- things calmed down after I hit the goose. i'm starting to notice they are doing it again- messing with me. i know it sounds absolutely fucking crazy. i'm going to start writing down every time weird bird stuff happens. today i'm driving down the street- a bird flies in front of my car so close it almost touches my car- I gasp- 2 seconds it happens again- 2 seconds later it happens AGAIN- this last bird- we made eye contact- at this point I have my hand over my mouth and i'm saying omg omg.. i'm also laughing and just amazed because what is going on?? It's probably been the last 2 weeks where I've started noticing weird bird things.. so we shall see. I haven't seen much of Madison. I heard her come home this morning- she slammed the door and was just loud coming in. She keeps weird hours even when she has off from work. she tells me I am her best friend. how nice is that? we do have a good relationship- I of course was not there when she went out with my mom so I don't know exactly what was said- I know what Madison shared with me- Since then Madison has not spoken to my Mom. Madison doesn't play games - she is not the forgiving type. there was something else that was on my mind but now I can't remember-I have Sunday night work stress- not too bad. I'm sure its going to be another busy week. I think this full moon has me feeling emotional. I hate to blame the moon but that is what i'm doing-

i did hip exercises this week. i'm thinking I should start walking.i want to run but I am honestly scared and i'm wondering at what point I should insist on an MRI to see what's going on- did i tear something?

tomorrow Michael's daughters turn 3.

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corroded-hellfire · 2 years ago

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Eddie Munson x anorexic reader

in all the fics I have read reader always either faints or gets really dizzy and Eddie finds out, how about one where she just tells him.

You had decided you had to tell eddie. It was something you weren't going to be able to beat anytime soon. It would be easier to be honest with him.

Note: I collaborated with my dearest @munson-blurbs on this one. Bug selflessly volunteered to help me with this and I would never turn down a chance to write with her. She wrote from the reader's perspective, while I wrote from Eddie's, as we both felt that's what we understood best. Thank you so much for this request and I hope you enjoy what we came up with!

Bug’s note: As someone who has battled anorexia, I aimed to make Reader’s perspective as realistic as possible; however, my own experiences may be different from other people’s. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please feel free to reach out. I can help you find any resources you need.

Warnings: anorexia, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, language, i think that’s it?

Words: 1.8k

It all started so innocently. You’d wanted to lose a little weight, get in shape, and improve your health. All of the magazine articles you’d read insisted that you cut out carbs, fats, and basically anything delicious. So you did, with the hopes of looking like the waif-like women who graced the covers week after week.

The magazine recommended weighing yourself once a week, and that’s what you’d done initially. But once a week soon turned to three times a week, then every day, and then multiple times a day.

There are other “tricks” you’ve learned. Your food journal, page after page of calorie counting, is kept tucked away in your nightstand. You drink copious amounts of diet soda to feel “full.” When you do eat, you ensure that your portion size stays small. Exercise becomes harder the less you eat, but you feel guilty if you skip a day at the gym.

Guilt isn’t the only pain you feel; your bones are constantly sore and cracking. Clumps of hair fall out when you take showers. It’s hard to sleep with your stomach rumbling, even though you’re always tired. And no matter the weather, you’re bundled up in sweaters, trying to stave off the chill that courses through you.

You’ve done a pretty decent job of hiding your burgeoning obsession with weight loss from your friends and family.

Even your boyfriend hasn’t seemed to notice yet, always telling you that you’re beautiful. Which is probably why he just came home from the store with a half-gallon of ice cream.

“Eddie, I…I don’t want this.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. “You can have it, though.”

“What?” He looks down at the carton he slid over to you. “Did I buy the wrong flavor?”

He knows he didn’t; you know he didn’t. Chocolate chip cookie dough is your favorite. “I’m just–you know I’m trying to eat healthier. ‘S almost summer and I wanna look good in my bikini.”

With an adorable pout on his face, he walks over and wraps his arms around you. “If you want to eat healthier, that’s fine. But you look perfect. So you don’t ever have to worry about that.” He presses a kiss to the side of your neck.

“I said no,” you insist, tone much harsher this time. “If I have this, I’ll just…backslide. Start eating this shit all the time.” You start for your room, pressing your hand to your head. “Just…get it out of here.”

“Okay.” Eddie holds his hands up in defense, a crease forming on his forehead as he frowns. “I’m sorry. I’ll just, uh…” he trails off, looking around the kitchen as he tries to decide what to do with the offending item. “I’ll just put it in the freezer and swing it by Dustin’s tomorrow.” He opens the freezer door and turns back to you. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, Eds,” you say through gritted teeth, but your tears give you away. “Give me a minute, okay? I need to go for a walk.” You’d already gone for a run today, but you could certainly still use the exercise. Just thinking about the ice cream, even looking at it, probably added an inch to your waistline.

The tears weren’t usual for you. If your fierce revulsion to the ice cream didn’t set off an alarm in Eddie’s head, the tears certainly would have. “Okay. Um, do you want me to come with you? I can just grab my shoes and we could head down to the park if you want?”

You shake your head, dots forming in front of your eyes. You steady yourself against the countertop, hoping Eddie didn’t notice. “I want to be alone. Please.” You shrug your jacket over your shoulders and shove your keys in the pocket.

Heaving a sigh, Eddie takes a few steps over towards you. He glances out the window and scratches the back of his head. “Baby, it’s getting really dark outside. I don’t think you should be out there by yourself.”

“What do you want from me, Eddie? I’m trying to look good–and stop saying that I already do, because I know that’s a lie–and it’s like you’re…you’re sabotaging me!” you sputter, clenching your fists. “First the ice cream, now telling me I can’t go for a walk–”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out.” He holds his hands up near his ears, eyes shifting in his head as his mind tries to process all that just came out of your mouth. “First of all, have I ever lied to you before? In my life? No, so why the hell would I start now? You look fucking amazing. I love how you look. And…” He pauses, shaking his head, trying to sort through his own thoughts. “Sabotage you? Where the hell is that coming from? Babe…babe you’re scaring the shit out of me. I’m not telling you what to do, I swear. I’m just really fucking confused.”

“I don’t look ‘amazing!’” you cry out. “I’m ugly and I need to lose weight! Because if you’re not losing, you’re gaining, and I am not going to gain weight. I…I can’t.”

“Hey, hey…” Eddie takes the few steps over to you and cups your face in his hands. His thumbs rub over your cheekbones as he looks at you in concern. “What’s going on, sweetheart? Please, please talk to me.”

Your emotions bubble over like a can of seltzer that’s been shaken up. “Baby, I’m s-so scared,” you sob. “I just w-wanted to get healthy, get in shape, but now I’m terrified of eating. I don’t even see food as food anymore; it’s all just calories. It doesn’t even m-make sense; like, I can eat the frozen pasta TV dinners because they’re only one serving size, but I’m t-too afraid to make pasta from the box. Because what if…what if it’s more than a serving size? Or what if I’m still hungry after, and then I eat more?”

“Oh baby, come here.” Eddie moves slowly so he doesn’t startle you and wraps his arms around your body. He holds you close to his chest and presses a few kisses to the top of your head. His heart breaks inside of him, not only because of what you just said, but because he doesn’t know how to help you or make you feel better. A million things to say run through his mind but he isn’t sure if any of them will make it worse or not. So what if you eat more? If you’re hungry you can eat, baby. You have to eat to stay healthy. Finally, he settles on something. “How long have you been feeling this way?”

You sigh. “It’s hard to say when, exactly. I started my diet, what, six months ago?” He nods, and you continue. “So maybe it got more…intense about two or three months in.” You plop down on the couch. “I just wanted to look like Nancy or Robin. They’re so pretty and thin; it’s like they don’t even have to try.”

Eddie listens to you intently the whole time and takes his place on the couch next to you. Anger boils in his blood but he refuses to let it show; he doesn’t want you to think it’s anger at you. It’s at the fact that you feel this way, the fact that you don’t see yourself the way that he does. He takes a few deep breaths in and out before he speaks again. “Sweetheart, I’m the first one to admit that I’m way out of my depth here. I’m terrified I’m going to say something and make it worse. But something I do know about? Comparing myself to others. Just like you just did with Robin and Nancy. Are they pretty? Yes. Does that make you any less pretty? Absolutely not.” He knows he didn’t touch the “thin” aspect, but he doesn’t feel like he has the right words to do so. “Growing up, I always compared myself to others, you know that. But let me ask you something; would you love me if I were anyone else? Or do you love me because I’m me?”

“Because you’re you, obviously,” you answer honestly. “I’d love you no matter what you looked like, because you’ll always be the most handsome man in the world to me.” You rest your head on his shoulder, relaxing slightly when you feel him rubbing your back.

“That’s how I feel about you, princess.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. You could dye your hair, shave your head, tattoo your entire body, eat all you physically could, and you’d still be the most beautiful woman in the world. But I don’t think just my words are going to make this better, are they?” He tucks some of your hair behind your ear.

“No,” you agree. “I wish it was that easy. I wish I could just see myself the way that you see me but it’s like there’s something blocking my brain from doing that. I don’t…I don’t know what to do. How to fix it.” You use the back of your hand to wipe the tears from your cheeks. “I’m really scared,” you repeat.

“Like I said earlier, I’ve never lied to you before. And I’m not going to start now.” He rubs your back with one hand and wipes away a few tears you missed with the other. “So, I’m going to tell you that part of me is scared, too. Scared because I don’t understand how you feel. Scared because it’s not something I can fix. But part of me isn’t scared at all. Because no matter what it takes to help you, I’m going to be right by your side. I’m going to hold your hand no matter what and do everything that I possibly can to help you. And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned being with you, it’s that there isn’t a damn thing we can’t do together.”

You sniffle before you speak. “Could you help me find a doctor? Or, like, a therapist or something? I don’t even know where to begin, honestly.”

“Of course, baby. We can go see my doctor and ask her for a recommendation, hmm? Remember? You liked her a lot when you came in with me when I thought I had a hernia? But it was just gas?” The corners of his mouth tilt up, hoping to make you smile since you’ve never let him forget the embarrassing incident.

“Still one of the funniest moments of our relationship,” you tease him.

“I’m glad you think so,” Eddie says. “Does that mean you want me to make an appointment with her?”

There’s a part of you that silently screams no, that you’re not that sick, that you don’t need help. But looking into Eddie’s worried brown eyes, you can feel that it’s untrue. “Yes,” you say finally, offering him a small smile. You yelp as he tackles you into a gigantic hug.

“I love you so, so, so much, baby!” He takes your head in his hands and presses loud, smacking kisses all over your face.

“I love you, too,” you manage between giggles. It’s only the start of this journey, but you’re going to make it through.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fan fiction

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hannahbanana29 · 2 years ago

Text

Enha- things they enjoy doing with you <3

This isn't gonna be a long post, I don't think. Just some lil headcanons on what Enhypen like doing with their s/o <3

Lee Heeseung doesn't live with you yet. You both have been going out for possibly a month, but he had been dreaming of sharing a home with you much longer than that. Not necessarily the apartment he lives in right now - especially when he had a roommate named Jake. More so a new home, one that was yours and his to fill. That's why he loved cleaning the house with you. It was therapeutic and he thought it was cute how much you loved blasting music as you did so.

When you two would do chores, they were never boring. He was so grateful when you offered to help clean his apartment, and as you both got on with it, he liked to fantasise as he did the dishes that you were both tidying up your shared home. And the fact you were both dating, finally, meant even more to him.

Park Jongseong. We don't really have to guess what this is. Jay loves two things that he does with you. I mean, don't get me wrong, he loves spending time with you, full stop. But he CHERISHES both sleeping peacefully and cooking with you. Being lazy and domestic.

When you both fall asleep somewhere other than bed, like a couch, he finds it so cute. He loves the lazy kisses he gives you and the automatic, rhythmic strokes you give him in return. When you fall asleep in his arms or on his lap, he can't help but watch you breathe in and out repeatedly.

Cooking is no different. He loves how you both converse what to make. He loves holding you unnecessarily as he guides you into whatever you're handling. He even loves walking up behind you and planting fluttering kisses along your jawline as he holds you by the waist and sways side to side, after you insist on doing the dishes because he helped you with cooking.

Sim Jaeyun, Jake, is excited about hanging out with you, no matter what you guys are doing. But he really likes songwriting with or about you.

Jake, as a trainee, really wanted to write song lyrics about the things he thought he could voice about once he became an idol, whenever that would be. But he focused more on his singing and dancing than songwriting, as that would be done with the other members.

That's just one reason why he loves writing songs with you; because it's between you and him, and it's not for the publicity of fans or critics who speculate what the song was about. It's simple. It was about the love you both shared. Before debut, he didn't write songs about love, but he was so fond of how you'd inspired him with romance.

Park Sunghoon is a bit of a gym bro. Let's be honest. He may not say it all the time, but his physique has visited the gymnasium many a time. It wasn't the gym he liked visiting with you, particularly, but he really enjoyed taking care of you and your health, physically and mentally. I think personally, he's big on taking care of yourself.

But that's pretty vague. More specifically, he enjoyed asking you to list the good parts of your day - those you were grateful for. If you were down and didn't have much to be thankful about, he would remind you all of the miracles you held in your life.

To take care of you physically, he would make you drink up water, he would make sure you were fed and he would really enjoy exercising with you. Not in the gym, but in a more personal place. Albeit your own bedroom or his dorm where there were pieces of exercising equipment, or it could be jogging along a route that you guys loved to walk down every now and again to calm yourselves.

All in all, Sunghoon liked to do healthy things with you. Eating, drinking, exercising, and always remembering there's a time to be thankful.

Kim Sunoo doesn't like to get through the day without doing something productive. He doesn't particularly like shopping, or working out, or things like that. But productive can also mean creating memories, because we all need those.

Also, we're all very conscious that Sunoo likes to take photos. If you're a baby engene, it's true! And he bestows them upon his fans with his beauty. But he loves even more taking you out to do just something other than sitting around all day, to create gorgeous memories, and he will encapsulate those into photographs.

Some of these he will keep to himself. Some of these he will send to you. Some of these, he will post on social media to put the memory everywhere. Sunoo really likes hearing you come up with new poses and captions.

But above all of those, he finds it so precious when he creates memories not through photographs, but in creating collages with them.

You're both kneeling on the floor, with a memory board layed out in front of you. Around it are a load of polaroid pictures and printed photographs, and you'd even printed off some captions you both found really cute. And he loved arranging them all with you, to put on the board and hang up in your room. He loves being productive in that way.

Yang Jungwon is a mature leader. During work days, he is tending to the members, keeping in close touch with the managers and focusing on the choreo and lyrics. On a day off, he would be simply relaxing with his band mates and lounging about.

But then you came into his life.

Days off could NOT be spent without his Y/N being with him to relax him. But when you are both just lying about and not interacting, he doesn't feel like he's spending quality time with you. That's when you both came across arts and crafts.

But if that sounds too old, you both like to watch some bad DIY vids (123 GO... 5-minute crafts... You know the channels) then you both like to laugh as you manage to make useless toys and hacks.

You both go out to the local store to by the bits and bobs required to make a bathbomb or something, and you both try your hardest and laugh as you mess up. And then you sulk together once you look at the misshapen unicorn dropping you ended up making, pouting like children. Damn, Jungwon doesn't look like the mature leader he has to be throughout the week, but you make him younger.

Nishimura Riki, or Ni-ki, is the Maknae of ENHYPEN. He likes to get outside and do something energetic or athletic. If not that, then at least something entertaining. So he absolutely adores playing games with you.

On a rainy day, it's building a fort and either playing video games or watching a movie. If it's windy, you're both making some crappy DIY kites to fly outside. If it's pure sunshine then it's going out to the beach or a field to play catch and paddle about. And in the evening, he would take you to a cinema/movie theatre or he would take you to an arcade.

It really doesn't matter. He'd even enjoy sneaking you to one of the dance rehearsal rooms to dance about with you to some of his songs, as well as other Western music pieces. You two could even make up your OWN choreography. He just likes doing something fun and lighthearted, as if you were both children just there for a good time, not a long time.

#enha imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #enhypen

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oldfacesnewdawnoffical · 2 years ago

Note

WAIT WAIT hear me out

so ik that Dreamtongue sucks, but maybe, just maybe-

Dreamtongue shifted in his nest. Stars, it stank. He didn’t know how the elders could bare the smell.

His ears twitched. His mother was outside, talking to someone. Close. Very close. He sighed and turned his back to the entrance. Every since he had been blinded, the Woodland faction had insisted on nursing him back to health. He scowled and swiped at the ground, leaving long claw marks in the worn dirt floor of the den.

But the worst thing wasn’t that he was getting healed. It was his mother. She blinded him. How could she? All he had wanted was for his moms to be happy, and then that STUPID Foxheart came along. She deserved to die. No one missed her. But no matter what he did, they hated each other. And then he saw Raggedclaw swipe at Chanterellefang once.

How no one helped.

And he realized.

Raggedclaw had to go.

But no matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. Chanterellefang left anyways. And now she was with these dung-sniffing cowards . Not only that, but she was with him every day. When he was a kitten, he would have wept with joy. But now, seeing her sadness and shame, he avoided it more than everything. He turned around again, restless. More of their conversation drifted toward him.

”Are you sure you’ll be fine? If you want, I can do it instead. Or do you want me to be there?” An unfamiliar voice said, concern in her voice. But it was laced with something else. Something that Dreamtongue couldn’t place. But when his mother replied, he realized.

“Yes, Sloefrost. I’ll be fine,” she replied, love clear in her voice. Love. It was the first time in a while that Dreamtongue had heard it from her. He strained his ears. They were… nuzzling each other lightly, he thought. It was hard to tell, since the camp was loud, but he could guess.

A slight scoff. “Well, you better. Who else is going to fail to eat a pheasant?” A squawk of indignation from his mother, followed up by another cat padding toward them.

“Err, Chanterellefang? Is it already time to do his exercises?”

That flame-blasted tom.

But Chanterellefang had a different approach.

“Yes, Firefall,” she said, slight endearment clear in her voice. Dreamtongue flattened his ears. Of course he got mothers affection. May the stars curse him.

He jolted in slight surprise when a gentle tail tip touched his shoulder.

“Dreamtongue, it’s time for your exercises,” Firefall meowed hesitantly. He scoffed and rolled around to face him- or, what he thought was him. He couldn’t exactly tell.

“I know. Let’s just get this over with,” he grumbled.

He could hear mothers soft chuckles outside, and for a moment, a pang of sorrow struck his heart. But he steeled himself on.

“So, what we start off with for today is stretching your leg muscles, then….”

👀 Can I. Employ you to write OFND for me,, /j

#high key LOVE this?????#AAHHHHHH!!!!#you express dreamtongue’s passive disdain so well #his thought process #his general way of thinking #ALSO AAHHHH SLOE AND CHANTERELLE AAHSJDBJDNF #just them being soft with each other #and the gENTLE TEASING AAHH BE STILL MY HEART #old faces new dawn #ask #important lore alert #warrior cats rewrite #warriors rewrite #ofnd: chanterellefang #ofnd: dreamtongue #ofnd: sloefrost #ofnd: rust #hollyflight7

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lubdubsworld · 4 years ago

Text

Perfect Imperfections.

Jeon Jungkook x OC

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ This is nothing but me indulging my love for writing bad cliches. That is it. Its literally a fest of cliche k drama tropes]

Chapter 1

After the accident, my life had become something of a stagnant pond.

Everyday began much the same.

The alarm, mild but not jarring. Not very shrill but definitely insistent, sweeping away any lingering traces of sleep. I blinked awake, cobwebs of exhaustion still marring my vision but a few deep breaths, a few more blinks and I was awake .

And now came the harder part.

Getting my legs to work.

It never got better, despite the many years that I’d spent in physiotherapy. All it really did was stop it from getting worse. Or maybe I’d just gotten used to the pain at this point.

Deep breaths helped. Sometimes.

But not today.

“Mrs Jeon?” The familiar voice made me jump a little.

“Sana...” I said, relieved. “ Could you come over? Seems like I’m going to need some help today.” I laughed nervously, gripping the sheets harder.” Could you help me sit up?”

The girl moved closer, feet nimble and quick and sure and i felt my throat clench in envy. I swallowed it down though, just the way I swallowed every bad thing that came my way.

It had been eight years ago.

A fall from a fifty feet ravine. Cuts and scrapes all over my body, abrasions all over my torso. And legs that had absolutely shattered on impact. Multiple fractures. Motor Nerve Damage on my left leg.

The skin stitched together. The bones grew back.

But the nerve damage stayed.

I wasn’t completely helpless. I could walk with the brace. Slowly and with a mildly awkward gait but I could walk. Even better if I was using crutches.

But it wasn’t something I could hide.

People looked at me and that was the first thing that they noticed.

The girl who couldn’t walk.

I sat still, gripping the edge of the bed as Sana carefully grabbed the brace and helped me put it on. I watched as she carefully set the loops in place, fixed the velcro and finally helped set my toes in place.

“Thank you.” i whispered and she nodded.

“Mr. Jeon left early. He said that he won’t be home tonight.”

I smiled a little.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to be caught between us. It must make you feel uncomfortable.” I said .

She looked surprised but quickly ducked her head

“No, Mrs. Jeon.”

I sighed.

“You may leave. I’ll come down soon.” I said quietly.

How handsome he looked, in that beautiful dark suit. How strong and handsome and ...whole.

Right next to a framed article about us from a magazine.

Jungkook ran marathons and trained as a boxer. He worked as the managing director at a steel manufacturing unit . Spent his days overseeing workers in the smelting units, and everyone knew that it wasn’t uncommon to see the Jeon heir, shirtless and sweaty and covered in dirt and getting down and dirty with all the other workers as the ore got delivered.

Someone like that... Someone that perfect.... Deserved a woman who would be an equal. Beautiful and graceful and perfect. And he had had her. My sister. For three years, I’d watched my sister and Jungkook be the perfect couple . Deeply in love and so happy.

I watched her leave, gently closing the door behind her, before shifting my gaze to the large portrait on the opposite side of the wall. It was a picture of my husband and I taken on the day we got betrothed.

What they hadn’t counted on was how greedy our parents could be.

Jungkook was the younger son. And his father had long written him off as unreliable. He was wild and headstrong. Had his own ideals and morals. Wouldn’t really bend to his father’s will. So his brother was the one who would be set to inherit the company.

And my father , with his billion dollar empire wasn’t going to give away his precious daughter and all of her inheritance to a paltry second son.

Jungkook’s brother had married my sister. And Jungkook had been forced to marry me. A comedy of errors , except it wasn’t really funny and no one was laughing.

I swallowed. That was seven months ago. The first few weeks had gone in stony silence and hushed whispers. I knew he was talking to my sister. Knew she was sobbing in despair on the other end. My sister and I had never gotten along. And now, she had a genuine reason to despise me.

Three months into marriage he had a small accident at the Manufacturing Unit.A small fall, not that far. Ten feet or so, but he’d crashed into a steel structure on his way down. He had a dislocated shoulder and some flesh wounds. Not that bad.

But my entire body had gone ice cold at the news, when i first heard it.

It was a brutal sort of realization.

That perhaps I wasn’t as indifferent to him as he was to me. Six weeks, with him had changed things. He didn’t talk much, other than the bare minimum but I didn’t hold it against him. I helped him anyway I could. Typed out emails for him. Helped him eat and change.

Hands brushing and time spent together meant tension. And a shift in the way he looked at me, sometimes. I noticed, wasn’t sure if I could act on it. But he was still my husband. And I didn’t really want to spend the rest of my life celibate.

So, even though it was so unlike me... I’d made the first move. Linked my fingers with his. Brushed my lips across his. A gesture that meant a hundred things. A touch that invited more. And he must’ve wanted it, at least physically. Because he indulged me. Gave me a glimpse of heaven on his bed.

And yet, six weeks of being as close as two humans could be didn’t change much.

We were strangers who slept together. Who appeared in public together. Who did everything our family expected of us. And I wasn’t sure how to bridge that awkward gap between us. Jungkook was a fiercely physical person. His free time was spent in the gym , or cycling or hiking.

I couldn’t walk across the room without having to grip the walls for support every few minutes.

Could anyone blame him for being bitter? For being distant? For not knowing what to do with me?

And in all this time , I’d only learnt a handful of things about my husband. How he felt on top of me. How he sounded when he came, how he looked eyebrows furrowed as he talked into his phone and of course, how little he cared about me.

Yes, we would have sex. Yes, he bought me a couple of gifts when he was overseas. But otherwise his heart belonged to my sister. It wasn’t something he hid.

As the days passed, I realized that it was time to keep myself safe. That I couldn’t show him all of me anymore. He was careful with me, guarded and secretive because he was smart. He didn’t want me to know anything about him.

There was a reason. There had to be.

So the best thing to do would be to do the same. Build that distance between us. This was going to crash and burn someday and I had to

And the past few weeks, he’d been busy with more deals. Some kind of MoU with some supplier had gone south and they were looking for different suppliers. Jungkook was busy. I hadn’t seen him in ten days.

And now apparently he had come home and left without so much as seeing me.

Sighing, I moved to the garden, walking slowly to the marble bench set under the large sweetgum tree. I settled down , sighing. I ran a palm over my belly, soft and hesitant.

I was two and half months along. It didn’t show...thanks to the oversized clothes I wore. But it wasn’t the kind of thing you could hide forever. I wasn’t sure why I started hiding it in the first place. It was just that.... I knew that no one would be happy for me. My family would be ecstatic but for the wrong reasons.

I could already imagine .

Finally. Now he can’t leave you.

I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of it. At the thought of someone talking about my baby like some sort of handcuff to lock Jungkook in.

I would have to tell him. Of course. But I didn’t know when or how . I didn’t want to hide it from him. There was no point. But ... I wasn’t quite sure i wanted to see that look of helpless disappointment in his face.

The sound of his car drew me out of my reverie and I startled, glancing over at the wide driveway. I glanced at the time . It was a little past eleven in the morning. What was he doing here?

“Leah! Get inside!” Jungkook’s voice rang out and I jumped.

“Jungkook?” I stared as he all but jumped out of the car rushing to me.

“Come on.. get up.”

“What’s going on..?” I asked, heart pounding as he gripped my elbow, drawing me into his arms.

“Dad fucked up. Got mixed with some shady bastards and apparently, they’ve put a hit out on me and hyung.”

My heart dropped.

“What?!!” I choked out, stunned. “ Jungkook...” My fingers curled over his chest, clutching the

“Don’t worry... we know who it is and we have guys of our own. They’ll take care of it. No one comes for a Jeon and lives to tell the tale. I just wanted to make sure you stayed in. Don’t go anywhere. there are guards all over the place. but i want you to stay home. Okay? Just till this blows over?”

I flinched, legs aching fierce as he led me up the stairs and he stared at me, eyes dripping with worry. The look was so foreign....so unlike the indifference I was used to that I could only stare.

“Are you alright?” He asked urgently and I nodded quickly, hands curving over my stomach instinctively.

“You’ll stay here right? With me...?” I asked softly and Jungkook hesitated.

“I... I need to go check on Lisa.” He said stiltedly and I froze at my sister’s name.

“She’s with her husband, right?” I asked sharply, anger building out of pure fear. “ Why do you-”

“Don’t question me. Go in. Now.” He said quickly and I frowned.

“You don’t have to go there. She has a husband of her own.” I said quietly, voice shaking.

“I have to. I... I have to just go make sure she’s alright.” He snapped angrily and I curled my fingers into fists.

Apparently, even when there was a very real threat to our lives, he would rather risk my life and his than let go of his obsession for my sister. i wanted to vomit. My skin felt clammy and my heart raced. I imagined him doing this when we had a kid....risking our child because he can’t stop thinking of her.... And he would do it..... Of course he would.

“Then go.” i snapped, tears filling my eyes . I yanked my arm out of his, stumbling a bit.

Jungkook looked shocked.

“Leah...” He reached for me but I pulled back and away.

“Go to her and don’t you dare come back here.” I screamed. Jungkook stiffened.

“Leah... enough.”

“You’re right. I’ve had enough . Of your dirty pining. Of you. She’s married for god’s sake. To your brother. They’re together. Its over and done with. Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!!” I choked out. My chest hurt.

“You knew I loved her when you married me.” He snapped back and I laughed in disbelief.

“Yes. And you knew I’d break someday. That I’d someday have enough of you treating me like I was disposable. Isn’t that why you kept at it for so long? You wanted me to be the one break things off right? So you could get out of your father’s anger...unscathed. Well, guess what. You got your wish.... I’m done!! “

He didn’t reply.

“Go inside. I have to go.” He said softly.

I watched as he turned on his heel and stalked back down the driveway.

Was it supposed to hurt this bad? My heart felt a bit like it was cleaving in two. Had I really just told him I had enough? What did that mean? Was I going to leave him? I felt my head spin , worry and fear laced with disbelief.

Someone was out to kill him? How could he be so flippant about it?

I shook my head. The Jeon’s were a weird bunch. Although they were one of the richest families in our society, they lacked any of the charming social graces that came with it. For years, everyone had kept them at arm’s length because while all other families had aristocratic roots and beginnings, the Jeon’s came from a background of mining iron ore and making steel : a rugged and dirty business.

The only reason my father had agreed to

And was I really going to leave him? where did I even begin? I couldn’t leave. I had no home to go to. My parents would take one look at me and send me back to Jungkook. I felt like a prize fool. I was stuck here. For eternity. That was all there was to it.

A decade ago, I’d had a future. But that evening on that mountain trail had changed my life forever. I was , for all intents and purposes disabled. I couldn’t just walk out of here and build a life for myself. I wouldn’t last a day.

I dragged myself to the living space, stopping when i saw how deserted the place looked.

There were usually people bustling about. Especially so close to lunch.

“Sana!!!” I called out, only to be met with the echoing silence of my own voice. And then a few seconds later she appeared ,

“Mrs. Jeon.... Is Mr. Jeon here?”

“He just left... Is everything okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Where is everyone? Are all of you busy?” I asked nervously.

She bowed. “ Yes, ma’am.... The rest of us are cleaning out the pantry and Cook’s in the kitchen. Seul and Leejin are out in the backyard cleaning the statues near the koi pond. Mr. Jeon’s asked all the footmen and guards to stay around the perimeter. Will you need anything else?

“No... I’ll just rest till lunch.” I said gently, waving her off.

She left.

The eerie silence that followed told me there was nothing to do but embrace the loneliness and I hesitated, moving slowly to the window and peering out. I couldn’t see any of the guards either.

My fingers shook a little as I moved slowly to the entryway that led into the dining space. It was dark in here, the light from outside only illuminating the west wall which had large windows set in. I moved to the windows and stared out into the Jeon estate.

Although Jungkook was the younger brother, he had been taxed with maintaining and caring for the family estate. Not because his father trusted him but because the old man knew just how much Jungkook hated the place.

I played with my wedding ring as i remembered the countless times I’d watched the two of them fight, Jungkook coldly still while his father hurled abuses at him. Jeon Jaesook considered his son to be incompetent and disobedient, which made little to no sense to me.

As far as i knew Jungkook had helped increase production and had cut down operating costs significantly over the seven years that he’d been working as the managing Director at Jeon Steelworks.

But it was obvious the old man favored Jihyun, Jungkook’s older brother. Jihyun worked in the air conditioned offices located in Gangnam, the CEO taking care of all their sales and marketing while Jungkook , who had an actual degree in Business spent his days slaving away at the smelting Units, a job that was physically and mentally exhausting.

And while it always made my stomach twist, this unfair treatment he got subjected to, there wasn’t much i could do. My father had made it clear that he wouldn’t agree to the investment, unless both his daughters married the Jeon brothers. And Jungkook’s father had made it clear that if Jungkook didn’t agree , he would be out on the streets without a penny to his name.

My leg began aching and I turned back around ready to go settle into my workroom where I usually worked on my writing when I heard his footsteps. I glanced up, frowning.

Jungkook stood in the doorway staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

I stared at him for a few seconds, waiting for him to say something.

When he didn’t, I sighed.

“Did you think I was going to leave?” I asked bitterly.

He sighed.

“I’m not going to cheat on you. “

I nodded.

“I suppose you want me to thank you for that?” I shook my head. “ You don’t have to keep your worthless vows. Go sleep with her. Why would it make a difference to me?”

He exhaled sharply.

“I thought you understood.” He said sharply.

“I did. I do.” I said curtly “ I understand that my parents screwed the two of you over. I understand that you had to do something you absolutely did not want to. But there’s something you need to understand too. Just because I’ve accepted this, it doesn’t mean I enjoy it. It doesn’t mean I have to be happy about my husband being in love with another woman, much less my own sister.”

Jungkook nodded.

“Right. Got it. “ He said curtly and I flinched when another muscle twitch told me I’d been standing for too long.

“I’m going to go lay down.”

“Do you need me to get you a heating pad? For the leg? Or send one of the girls to massage your legs?” He asked softly, stepping closer and lightly gripping my elbow when my knees buckled.

I didn’t have much choice than to grip his forearm, because the pain was intensifying from pins and needles to proper muscle spasms. Sweat began to bead on my upper lip and i felt just a little faint.

“Yes. “ I said , feeling pathetic. I should have used the crutches. It had been a bad day even when I woke up. I should have sensed it and taken the proper measures.

“Leah... Should I run a warm bath for you? “ Jungkook's lips brushed my ear when he leaned to hold my weight up and i stiffened.

“That won’t be necessary. I just need help back up to the bed, thank you.” I said shortly. He looked uncertain and shook his head.

“ okay, but I’ll get Sana to run you a warm bath and make you some willowbark Tea.” He said quietly, and when I stumbled a bit on the first step he swore.

“This isn’t going to work.... Come here.” He said gruffly and before I could protest he bent low, gripping the back of my knees and pulling me up into his arms.

i swallowed, head spinning as I cradled the curve of my lower belly.

Tell him... Tell him... Tell him...

I felt my head throb as I kept my arms wrapped tight around his shoulders.

“I’m pregnant .” i blurted out.

Jungkook stumbled , nearly sending the both of us tumbling down the flight of stairs and i clung to him in terror. Okay, maybe the timing could have been better.

“What?” He looked ashen. Like he’d seen an actual ghost.

“Just thought you should know.” I muttered under my breath.

We reached the landing and he didn’t say anything, looking away from me, his jaw taut and lips set in a thin line. I felt my throat go sandpaper dry. He waited till we were safely in the confines of our bedroom, placing me down on the bed gently and moving to close the door and lock it.

I stared up at the ceiling, refusing to look at his face.

“ Leah-”

“Its fine. You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t know till a week ago myself.”

Silence.

“Have you told your parents?”

I exhaled sharply.

“No.”

“Mine?”

“No...”

“Then would you consider.... “ He trailed off and i finally stared at him.

“No.” I said softly.

He sighed.

“Alright. Should I book an appointment with Dr. Lee?”

I laughed.

“How very practical of you..” i said.

“What else do you expect from me..”

“Not even an ounce of support, that’s for sure.” I snapped and he growled.

“You want me to lie? Fine.. I’m happy!! So fucking happy that we’re bringing an innocent kid into our fucked up family. ” He shouted.

This was why I didn’t want to tell him, I thought bitterly.

“You’re the only one who’s fucked up, Jungkook. I’m perfectly fine with myself and my choices. I can give my baby all the stability they might ever need.”

“ That’s not hat I'm talking about. do you know what its like to grow up with parents who can’t stand each other?” Jungkook shouted.

I gaped at him. Can’t stand each other? Is that how he saw us?

“As long as you don’t walk out on us, we’ll be fine.” I muttered despondently.

“ Don’t worry about that. I’m not going to run away from my responsibilities. ” He said quietly.

I finally turned to look at him, placing both my hands on my stomach.

“Do you want me to leave you?” I asked honestly.” Have you ever thought about it?”

He didn’t say anything.

“So you have.” I smiled sadly. It wasn’t surprising but it did hurt.

“Of course I have. You’re Lisa’s sister and Lisa is my... “ He paused, shaking his head, “ But, I know you can’t. I don’t expect you to either.” He said gruffly, grabbing the intercom.

I watched as he called the housekeeper, firing off instruction for Sana and then to the cook to send some tea for me. He hung up and turned to me again.

“Lisa and I are going to go to Japan for a week. She has a conference there and I’m going to scout for locations just in case we open up a distribution office there.”

I turned away.

“ You don’t have to tell me all that. You didn’t before, i don’t want you to start now.” I said firmly.

He didn’t reply and i turned back to stare at the ceiling.

Jungkook hovered for a few seconds before moving closer to the bed and grabbing the comforter and a couple of pillows. I felt a lump in my throat as he carefully picked my leg up, placing the pillows underneath. i was almost numb from the thigh down.

i closed my eyes as he carefully pulled the comforter over my waist, folding it over my chest.

“Rest well.” He said quietly before walking away. i heard the door opening and then closing.

i waited till I heard his footsteps fades away before opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling.

I should probably put some paintings up there, I thought.

Author’s Note : This entire fic can be summed up as me not having any self control.

#jungkook arranged marriage #bts arranged marriage #bts fic #bts arranged marriage fic #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkok fanfics #bts famnfics #bts fanfics

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cowboycakes · 4 years ago

Text

Do You Get My Letters

✥ Pairing: Levi x fem!Reader, somewhat Reiner x fem!Reader

✥ Themes: Fluff, angst, sadness, big ass plot twist

✥ Warnings: Female bodied reader (she/her pronouns,) Pregnancy and birth (nothing gory.) Mentions of death, violence, and threats. Manipulation.

✥ Synopsis: You are carrying Reiner's baby when he betrays Paradis. Levi decides to step in.

✥ Word Count: 2.2k

(there is a part two up to this fic, but i've decided i'm going to rewrite the ending at some point.)

Anon's Request: Hi! I saw your requests are open so here I want to give my little scenario a try! 🕳🤸🏽‍♀️ I thought abt this last night, I’m currently rewatching AOT after 6 yrs and yet to finish season 4, so sorry if I’m wrong abt timelines/the plot? My request is the reader was with child with Reiner, but b4 reader told him, he betrayed and exposed his mission. Levi stepped in to help reader. And btw, I just finished watching ep 3 of season 4, so maybe Eren telling reiner abt his child and he regrets leaving the reader? And reiner jealous at the fact Levi is most likely considered his child’s father at that point. I can’t come up with an ending, so I’ll leave it up to you if you do take in my request. If this isn’t your type of writing I totally understand!

Note: This story is canon divergent. It is set in season 4, but in a universe where Reiner is not revealed as a traitor/the armored titan until a few months before season 4 takes place, as the reader was having relations with him until then and did not know his secret. I’m sorry if that change bothers you, I just wanted to write this as sort of its own story. This story contains season 4 spoilers! It also has nothing to do with the canon ending of AOT.

---

Dear Reiner,

I hope this letter somehow gets to you, I don’t quite know where to start.

In a perfect world, I would be so happy to tell you this. You’d be ecstatic too, I think. And before you try to second guess me: I’m sure by now, don’t worry.

I’m pregnant.

I guess we weren’t careful enough before you left. I feel like an idiot. And lost. But I’m not hopeless. I know myself, I can make it work somehow. With or without you.

I’m still in shock about you. How could someone so close hide so much? You’re a talented spy I suppose, a great asset to Marley. You made me trust you with my entire life. You made me love every false thing about you. And this is the rude awakening I get in return.

I’ll raise our child to value honesty and kindness, all in spite of you.

Sincerely,

Reader

---

The paper was damp with tears after you lifted your pen for a final time. You wished you could just keep the whole thing a secret: go make a quiet life for yourself somewhere else. It wouldn’t be right. Not after all of the dishonesty that man had spewed to you over the past few years. You had to tell him.

The door to the office room you’d settled in to write the letter creaks open. It’s Levi. He looks at your puffy eyes somberly, sympathetic. He was the first person you had told about the entire situation. Not because you were close, just because you needed help.

You fold your letter and stick it into a sturdy envelope. Levi takes it in his hand.

“That piece of shit doesn’t deserve a thing from you. Not a letter. Certainly not tears,” Levi says, using a clean handkerchief to wipe a stray drop from your cheek, “but I am proud of you.”

You take the handkerchief from him, feeling more tears stream down your face.

“Proud? I’m a fucking idiot,” you say through your sobs.

“Don’t even try to pull that self pity shit with me. Things happen sometimes. And you’re strong enough to commit to getting through it,” he responds.

You stand up, pushing your chair out. You look at him as you dry your face off again.

“I’m alone. How the hell am I supposed to do this shit alone?”

“You are not alone,” Levi replies. You’re shocked when he pulls you into a hug. “I’m going to help.”

You had never seen this side of him before. You look at him as you pull away slowly, tears still welled in your eyes.

“Are you sure? That's a big burden, Levi. None of this has to involve you.”

“Not the biggest burden I’ve ever taken on,” he shrugs. “There’s a lot of death around here, Y/N. Everyone is going to be happy about the little bit of life you’re giving us.”

You chuckle. He’s cynical, but he’s right.

He licks the envelope as he walks toward the door.

“Want me to run you a hot bath or something? Is that the type of shit pregnant people need?” he asks.

You laugh, a little harder than normal. It felt so relieving to laugh.

“Sure, Captain,” you respond softly.

---

Dear Reader,

I received your letter before the battle in Marley. I actually got to hand it to Reiner myself. He knows everything now. He broke down in front of me after reading it, going on about how much he regrets everything. How he wishes he could change things and be there for you. He begged me to kill him right there.

The world will eventually not have suffering like what you are going through now.

Eren Jaeger

---

Your jaw had dropped reading it. He begged me to kill him.

You hand the letter Levi had just delivered back to him. He reads it with a furrowed brow.

“Do you think…” you begin, your voice shaky, “do you think I could send another letter?”

Levi purses his lips, “Possibly. I can ask Jaeger. But right now, you need to bring your blood pressure back down.”

You were over seven months along now. You had found out about your pregnancy late, after being in denial for four whole months. Hange insisted on checking you out after you’d thrown up every morning for a week.

Levi had since gone on a parenting book reading spree; he made you read several of them too. He knew just about everything you needed to do to make a healthy baby: what to eat, what not to eat, how to exercise, when to go to the doctor, etc. It was really sweet how much he cared. You knew it gave him hope, something to fight for, something to come home to.

You were terrified when he left for Marley. You kissed him for the first time when he returned. Just about everyone you knew had to fight. You wished you could be out there fighting with them like you were supposed to. Maybe you could have made a difference.

Levi takes your hand, squeezing it to bring you out of your thoughts.

“What can I do?” he asks.

“Get me a glass of wine,” you grumble.

“Absolutely not.”

---

Dear Reiner,

Reader does not know I’m sending this. So keep it that way, or I’ll kill your sorry ass. Or maybe not, you’d probably enjoy that. In that case I’ll get creative.

How does it feel? Being a fucking deadbeat? Is it everything you’d thought it’d be and more? Fucking her and leaving her with nothing, like she belongs in a whorehouse. Reminds me of what happened to my mother. Pieces of shit like you came in and sent her to her death, leaving her kid behind to starve.

I wasn’t about to let her suffer like my mother did. But you were. I’m glad your choices haunt you, Reiner. You fucking deserve it.

I’ll be there for the both of them from now on, doing everything you were never capable of. She’s due any day now, I’m sure she’ll try to write to you.

Levi

---

You feel your first contraction while napping on the couch with Levi. You were settled in between his legs, your back leaning up against his chest. He had his hands on your stomach; he loved to feel the baby kick and tell them some of the happier stories in his memories.

The two of you had grown so close over the past few months. You slept together every night now. You didn’t want to leave each other’s sides if you didn’t have to. Levi would cuddle and massage you any time your pregnant body was ailing you.

You had fantasized with him about life after the war. He wanted to be a husband, a father, to live peacefully in the countryside. And he wanted more than anything for you to join him.

The first contraction wasn’t painful enough for you to make much more than a grunting noise, but Levi woke up the second he felt your stomach contort a bit. He was on very high alert these days.

“Holy… shit…is that what I think it is?” Levi whispers, “Don’t answer. I’m getting Hange.”

He crawls out from behind you and sprints out of the room.

The pain worsens and becomes much more frequent while he’s out looking for Hange. You stand up eventually after getting the urge to walk around - and your water breaks. You start panicking, unsure of how dilated you were and how much time you had left before pushing. You really wished you’d done more than just skimmed through those birthing books right about now.

Levi and Hange eventually come sprinting back into the room with a wheelchair and cold rags to find you whimpering in pain on the couch, trying your best to control your breathing.

You’re rushed down the halls to the Scout’s infirmary, where Levi had made sure the perfect room was set up for you - and it had been that way for two months.

The next hour goes by in a blur. Hange knew the biology of how to deliver the baby, and Levi knew how to coach you. He helped you hold your legs back when you pushed, and helped you count out your breathing. Hange attended to everything that might have made Levi faint, like checking your dilation and making sure the baby was coming out at the right angle. You got lucky having these two by your side.

Through all of your efforts, you finally hear a cry. You look up to see Levi holding your tiny new baby as Hange wiped them clean. He was smiling, way bigger than you’d ever seen him smile before, with tears in his eyes.

“Here,” he says softly, handing her to you.

You cradle her on your bare skin. “She’s so perfect, Levi! Look how sweet she is!” you coo.

“What are you going to call her?” he asks, stroking your hair as you gleam down at your baby.

“I was thinking,” you smile, “Kuchel.”

Levi lets out small gasp. Tears start streaming down his face, his efforts to stifle them failing.

“Really? I think that’s,” he wipes his eyes, “a wonderful name.”

—-

Dear Reiner,

She’s finally here! Oh my god, she’s precious. Levi and Hange helped to deliver her. Labor went smoothly. Levi started to cry when he saw her for the first time. She really is just that perfect. We are calling her Kuchel, after Levi’s mother. He cried when I told him that, too (don’t tell him I’m sharing those crying details.) I've decided to give her Levi’s last name as well.

Levi set up the perfect nursery for us.

If you really did feel guilty for leaving - don’t be. I’m happy.

She has your eyes.

Sincerely,

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Kuchel said her first word today. Of course it wasn’t mama, she’s such a daddy’s girl. She started crawling awhile ago, we are now working on standing up on our own. She has all of this blonde curly hair, too. She’s growing up so fast.

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

Levi proposed a few days ago. It was so perfect. We found a nice house with room for a farm that will be perfect for a family.

I can only wonder how you’re doing, now that the war is over.

Are you even alive?

Reader

—-

Dear Reiner,

I’m expecting again. Levi is beyond excited. I am too, of course. Kuchel started school this year. She is such a smart kid.

I still wonder about you. After all these years.

Reader

—-

Message after message, word after word. No response. You had decided he must be dead. The devastation after the war would argue that he was.

That is, until you found yourself rummaging through one of Levi’s desk drawers, looking for baby Isabel’s lost pacifier.

You felt the bottom of the drawer shift. A false bottom?

You pry at it until it comes open.

Letters.

Dozens of opened letters. With Marleyan postage stamps.

You pull out the first bundle you see. They’re all from you. Unopened. Unsent. You set them aside, your jaw quivering.

You pull out the second bundle and gasp.

—-

Dear Reader,

Eren showed me your letter. I am terribly sorry. Let me fix this, somehow. You can come to live with me in Marley. I will take care of you. Please.

I’m not just a traitor, a liar, a farce. Everything between us was real. I can explain everything. Just trust me.

Love,

Reiner

—

Dear Reader,

Do you get my letters?

I’ve only heard rumors about our new baby girl. I wish I could see her. Just once. For a second. Do you have a camera? I know they’re hard to come by in Paradis. I can send one.

I’d do anything to change this. You know I would.

Love,

Reiner

—-

To Levi,

You son of a bitch. I know exactly what you’re doing. You think this is protecting her, but it’s not. Just let her talk to me. She would listen, she would understand. You said yourself that she writes. You manipulative, sick bastard. That is MY child. She will never be yours. No matter what you brainwash her to believe, your dirty Ackerman blood does not run through her veins. She deserves to know. You are the farce, Levi.

Reiner

—-

There were dozens more. All opened. All from Reiner.

You sink down to the floor, tears spilling from your eyes.

You are the farce, Levi.

But, why? He was just protecting you, right?

The office door opens. You jump, shoving the letters back into the drawer.

“Mommy, why are you crying?” Kuchel asks.

You take a deep breath, staring down at the letters, thinking about everything that could have been.

“Are you happy here, Kuchel?”

“Yes!” she chirps, “Every day!”

“Then it’s nothing, baby. Mommy just got hurt. She’s better now.”

Your daughter giggles and skips out of the room, leaving you to hide away the rest of the letters.

༺♥༻

I REALLY HOPE I understood your request, Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing this. It isn't something I would normally think to write, but I'm so glad you shared this idea! Sorry for the sad ending, I love playing w people's emotions ;)

༺♥༻

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #reiner x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #levi x you #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot imagines #levi imagine #reiner imagine #snk reiner #snk levi #tw: pregnancy #tw: threats #tw: manipulation #tw: mentions of death

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lumosinlove · 4 years ago

Text

Vaincre

It’s here!! Thank you all for the support of this universe, it truly means so very much to me. Every time I get a comment, or get to read the fan fiction you all write, see the art you create...it just fills me with so much joy. I’m so excited to share the Sweater Weather sequel with you, Vaincre! Go Lions!

cw: brief mention of past injury and past abuse

part i: July

I’ve been holding my breath

I’ve been counting to ten

The media wasn’t kind. There were network shows and blogs. Magazines and papers and podcasts. Not to mention Twitter.

Remus had heard his name on all of them, even if he wasn’t listening. It was part of Alice’s job to make sure he knew what was being said about him. It was his job to tune most of it out. Some outrage. Some elation. Some confusion.

This is my question, one podcast asked. I mean, I’m happy for Black. Lupin, too. I’m happy for the hockey world to have this happen, it’s about time, I mean, tune it, come on, and all that.

I’m confused about the, you know, ‘let’s put the PT on the roster.’ I’ve seen college clips, like, those have been released, we know that he got injured, we know all that. He’s fast, we know that, too. But a lot of guys are fast.

Just…what a move by Coach Weasley. A good move? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Remus had always loved to run. It cleared his head. It had been one of the forms of exercise he had been able to do first once his shoulder had healed, before weights or any sort of strength training. His therapists had recommended it. Endorphins, they had said.

But Remus liked it because it was the closest he had been able to get to gliding on the ice, even when he still couldn’t stand to even look at a rink.

A good move? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Remus was used to not knowing. He was beginning to think he thrived on it. Would he play hockey again? Would he ever find love? Would Sirius want him?

Was this really happening?

He didn’t think of dreams as coming so late, but, then again, why should dreams be put on any sort of time schedule?

Now, he banged out the screen door and onto the rickety, well-loved porch of the lake house that had been passed down through his family for years. His mother and her brothers split it up in the summer, overlapping for a week or so, and there were always little gifts left behind for each family at the trade-off. A bottle of the best maple syrup, or some of the local honey. They were small, but Remus smiled when he saw what his uncle and aunt and cousins had left for him and Sirius after his parents and Julian had given them the month of July with the house to themselves. A little flower arrangement with two hockey sticks, carved out of wood, sticking up in the middle.

Sirius had plucked one from the dirt, twirled it over in his fingers, and smiled.

“Your family will never stop surprising me.”

Green Lake was deep, prime for fishing, and gorgeous. The smell of the water, of the soil and sweet summer air was as good as home to Remus. He breathed it in now as he bent to lace up his sneakers. He could smell the fire pit that they had lit last night, one that he and Julian had roasted thousands of marshmallows over.

“I showed Jules how to roast the perfect marshmallow here,” Remus had said that first July night, leaning back against Sirius’ chest.

Sirius had blew out his burnt-black one. “Like this?”

Remus had scoffed. “No, you heathen.”

Sirius looked good here, surrounded by the woods and rusty cabin, wearing the old fleeces that never seemed to leave this place for when the sun had yet to warm the chilly mornings. Some mornings, they’d make their coffee, tangle their socked feet together on the small couch until the sun began to get high and they’d strip it all off in favor of swimsuits and sunscreen. Other mornings, Remus would rise, pressing a gentle kiss to Sirius’ sleeping face, and take to the dirt road that ran around the lake.

Sirius, just off of the hard won playoffs, needed to rest. Remus needed to train.

A good move? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

They would leave in two days for Pascal’s Cup Day celebration, and then to meet Remus’ parents, his little brother Julian, and Regulus back in Gryffindor for Sirius’ Cup Day. And August training. Remus stretched his hands to his toes and closed his eyes. A strange type of adrenaline filled him whenever he thought about practicing with the team, about the fitness tests that would come first. He’d have to prove himself again and again. He wanted to. But part of him wondered what would happen if he couldn’t.

The screen door squeaked open and shut again, and Remus jumped, looking up to find Sirius, still sleep rumpled, standing there in running shorts.

Remus laughed, reaching up to trace a pillow crease in his cheek. “You’re supposed to be sleeping in while you can.”

Sirius let out a grumbly sort of yawn and gathered his hair, long from the summer and just brushing his chin now, back into a small half-up bun.

“I can’t believe you do this before coffee.”

“Too acidic. Gives you running stitches.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius sighed, and threw his arm around Remus’ shoulders as they walked up the steep driveway to the road.

Remus kissed his wrist. “I’ll miss being here with you.”

Sirius smiled. He was tan from the summer, hair dark as ever and his skin sun-kissed.

Remus leaned into his shoulder. “I mean look at you. I like seeing you this relaxed.”

Sirius bit his lip as the rounded a bend, waving at Mrs. Barrow, who was tending to her garden.

“I don’t think I knew I could be this relaxed,” Sirius admitted. “It was always train, train, train, you didn’t get a Cup, try harder.”

Remus was familiar with the notes that appeared in Sirius’ voice now from years of Sirius’ small slips in conversation, even when, to Remus, Sirius had only been they youngest captain in the league, cold and reserved from even more years of his father’s abusive, relentless attitude towards hockey and Sirius’ skills. Even when Remus had only been the team’s physical therapist, closeted, crushing on Sirius, and surprised by the cracks Sirius showed when he had gotten his ankle smashed by Severus Snape, Captain of the Slytherin Snakes—the Gryffindor Lions greatest rivalry. Pain, it had seemed, and fear of never stepping on the ice again, had given Remus his first glimpses into a different Sirius beneath it all, a boy who was filled with much more than just a need to win, but for whom the want of winning only made him love his sport, and his team, more.

“And now that you have a Cup?” Remus asked. “How’re you feeling?”

They came to the road and Sirius balanced on one foot, stretching his thigh. “Now that I have you,” he said. “I’m feeling just fine.”

Remus snorted. “Yeah, the Stanley Cup Champion part has nothing to do with it.”

Sirius laughed, but took Remus’ face between his palms. “If I didn’t have you, and I had only a Cup, all I would be doing right now is thinking about another Cup.”

Remus put a hand on his chest, fingers finding the number twelve pendant that rested there.

“Now, there’s more,” Sirius said simply, and leaned down for a tender kiss. “Like your mother’s peach pie.”

Remus punched him in the arm as Sirius laughed loudly.

“You’ll have to beat me if you want a slice of that!” Remus called as he took off.

Sirius made a wounded noise, but sprinted after him until they were side by side again.

“I don’t think I can leave this beach,” Leo mumbled into the lounging cabana they were spread out beneath, and Logan looked down at him from where he was reading—trying to read—one of the books Finn had given him. He didn’t know how many books Finn had tried to get him to read over the years, but he knew he never made it through more than a few pages without looking up, getting distracted, or having to go back.

“Non?” Logan asked.

Leo shook his head. “The sun. The sea. I’m in heaven.”

“What about hockey?”

“Brr.”

Logan laughed and settled back into the pillows, setting the book aside and rolling towards Leo to feel his sun-warmed back and leaned down to kiss his temple. A private beach definitely had its perks—and so did three hockey salaries.

“We’ll just stay here, then.”

They’d had a good summer. Leo’s Cup Day, Finn’s, his own, all in their hometowns and accompanied by large parades and fanfare. Logan had finally gotten to take Leo home to his sisters and parents for the first time. It had been nice to see Finn around his family again, too, after what felt like eons of avoiding him in that small gap between being at Harvard and then them both making it to the NHL, and to the Lions.

Leo’s sleepy smile up at him melted Logan like ice in the sun.

“Okay, good,” Leo said, then his eyes went behind Logan. “There’s the ghost-on-toast with our drinks.”

Logan snorted and looked up to see Finn—and Finn’s tiny blue swim shorts that he insisted weren’t see-through—walking towards them through the sand from the resort bar with a tray of drinks in his hands.

“Hey, lover-nuts,” Finn said as he set the tray down in the shade. “Got us some snacks, too. That bar tender loves me.”

“You are so pale,” Leo laughed. “I love you, though, please put more sunscreen on.”

“Keep your sandy feet off my towel,” Logan nudged Finn’s foot with his own as he reached for his drink. Finn just smiled and nodded at the book.

“How is it?” Finn asked.

Logan just looked at him.

He laughed and ran a hand through Logan’s salty, damp hair. “I know. I’ll read it to you later. I just thought you might want something for the beach!”

Logan held up his cocktail. “I have something for the beach.”

They settled back under their cabana, the thin, white linen curtains fluttering around them in the three o’clock breeze. Maybe Logan, as he closed his eyes between Leo and Finn, Leo’s hand still on his thigh, Finn’s arm pillowing the back of his neck, never wanted to leave this beach, either.

“Back to Gryffindor tomorrow,” Logan said.

“Group chat says most guys’ll be back this week,” Finn said, squinting at his phone over his sunglasses. “We gotta be back for Dumo’s, and then Cap’s Cup Day. That’ll be nice, man.”

“I like that they’re bringing it to Gryffindor Pride,” Leo said, rolling onto his back. “Should have thought of that. Or, I guess…” Leo trailed off and Logan frowned. They couldn’t do that. Not yet, at least. Leo caught Logan’s expression and rested a reassuring hand on his thigh. “I’m glad we get to go, even if its for them on the surface. That’s real thoughtful of them, you know?”

Logan nodded. It was thoughtful. When Remus and Sirius had brought it up to them, he’d found himself getting a little choked up.

“We want you guys to be able to experience that, too,” Remus had said. “If you want. No matter what you decide to do public-wise in the future.”

Finn clicked his phone off and chucked it to the side. “Hey, don’t take me off island time yet. We’ll order to the room, eat on the deck, hike up and stargaze…”

Finn rattled off the perfect list, tilting towards Logan until their lips met.

“And then we’ll go win another Cup.”

Leo and Logan punched him at the same time.

Thomas sat in the shade with Kasey as they watched Alex try to take on Natalie and Noelle at pool basketball.

“I really think they’re going to accidentally drown him,” Thomas said thoughtfully.

“He probably thinks that, too, and is just too competitive to stop,” Kasey replied.

Thomas laughed, and held out his beer to cheers.

“This is a nice house the O’Haras have, man,” he looked at the sparkling ocean beyond the steps and fence, and at the pool with the grill and lounge chairs. They’d only come up for the weekend, between training and visiting their own families, and before returning to Gryffindor for the season.

“Tell me about it.”

“Cheating!” Alex spluttered from the pool as Natalie put all of her weight on him to dunk him under the water. Alex pointed very seriously to the foot marker on the side tile. “We agreed from that to Thomas’ chair, I was too far away!”

“Too bad!” Noelle shouted as she made another basket.

Thomas didn’t think it was the alcohol that made him feel a little fuzzy at the edges as he looked over her in her swimsuit. She was all curves of tanned muscle, softened the summer around her stomach and arms. Thomas was a goner. But she seemed pretty gone, too, so he guessed it was all right.

“This moment’s always rough,” Kasey said softly from beside him, and when Thomas looked at him questioningly, he gestured vaguely with his beer. “The end of July. One more month, but not really. Alex’ll go back for training, you know? It’s like a trick. I always think, I get three months with these two. But it’s more like two and the first week of August.”

Thomas nodded. “I know. Noelle, too. Her training camp starts on the eight. I’m just…”

Kasey sighed in sympathy.

“At least you have Nat, you know?” Thomas said. “Not that I’m saying you have it easier, I just…”

Kasey shook his head. “I know. Believe me, I’m thankful for that every day. But…when you miss someone, you miss someone.”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, exactly.”

Last season hadn’t been too bad. His relationship with Noelle had been new. They only really knew FaceTime dates, and squeezed in weekend flights that sometimes left them more exhausted than sated. They had been taking it slow. Thomas had been kissed by Noelle—a lot. Enough to make him dizzy with it. Only, then she’d met him at the airport in Quebec, they’d spent a month with her family in France…

And Thomas wasn’t sure he knew how to do just FaceTime anymore. There was a new yearning, knotted just below his heart. He knew what her skin felt like under his hands now, knew what she looked like right when she waked up, even her skincare routine before bed. It would feel like being away from the ice for too long, the knot pulling tight. He thought this year was going to be harder. Maybe he knew it, but if he did, he was pretending it might be easy still.

“T,” Noelle called, floating on her back, dark hair fanned out in the water. “C’mere!”

Thomas smiled, setting his drink down. He would come, whenever she called. Wherever.

Cole Reyes didn’t know if Adele Dumais staring at him the way she was was a good thing, or a bad thing. He was nervous enough without the seemingly disapproval of Pascal Dumais'—the Pascal Dumais of the Gryffindor Lions, oldest player in the league—teenage daughter.

“Don’t you talk?” Marc, one of his sons, asked.

Cole blinked. “Uh. Yeah. Yeah.”

Adele waved her brother off. “They’re always super nervous at first. Remember Sirius?”

Marc scoffed. “I was a baby.”

Cole let out a breath. Now they were casually talking about Sirius Black, who had lived in the very room Cole had been sleeping in for a week now when he was a rookie, too. It was the same with Logan Tremblay. He felt like he needed to keep the room pristine, like he was living in some Hockey Hall of Fame museum that he had not earned the right to be in yet.

“You’re still a baby,” Adele shot back.

“Kids,” came Celeste, Pascal’s wife’s voice from where she was setting the table. “Come on now.”

“Sorry, maman,” Marc said softly.

“Sorry,” Adele sighed more reluctantly.

“Go help your father with the grill, you two,” she said. “Everyone will be arriving soon.”

Katie, Celeste and Pascal’s youngest daughter, perked up from where she was sitting beside Cole, drawing. Not Pascal, Dumo—Cole kept having to remind himself that he could call Pascal by his nickname now, that it was all official, that he was a Gryffindor Lion, too. Katie hadn’t left his side since he arrived a week ago to billet with the Dumais, and he still wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Even the Cup?” she asked.

Celeste laughed. “Oui, ma cherie. Cole? Would you mind going to get the flowers for the table? They’re on the kitchen counter, just inside.”

“Oh, sure, Mrs. Dumais,” Cole nodded, glad for something to do. The thought of the Cup arriving gave him the chills. He’d have to be careful not to touch it. He was scared to even look at it, to be honest. His mom would be laughing at him right about now. He wanted to call her afterwards, tell her everything.

“Call me Celeste, I told you, please,” Celeste smiled. She was lovely, with her dark hair twisted and clipped up and a summer dress as green as her eyes, silky against her olive skin.

Cole flushed, but smiled. “Celeste.”

Cole made his way through the sliding door from the back yard and through the dining room. The kitchen was one of the biggest rooms in the house—and it was a big house. Beautiful copper pans hung shining above the island, along with some herbs that Celeste grew and dried herself. It looked like something out of a magazine to Cole, and it was nice, but it wouldn’t beat his mom’s kitchen in the small apartment they shared in Boston. The small space would fill up to the brim with the smell of spices, or cobbler. The thought sent a pang right to his heart. He missed home, that was for sure. After being away for so long, for so many hockey camps, he’d hoped he would be more used to it by now.

The flowers were right where Celeste had said they would be, and he was reaching for one when the back door that led to the garage dinged open. Cole froze, sure that he was about to run into captain Sirius Black completely unprepared, when a girl stepped through instead. She was dressed in denim shorts and a white tank top, had dark brown skin, and a Gryffindor College hat over her hair, which was plaited back into many small braids.

She smiled when she saw him. No sign of surprised, or of the nervousness Cole felt when he met basically anyone.

“You must be Cole,” she said.

Cole nodded. The girl was gorgeous. Cole was a mess of nerves already. He didn’t need the stare of the teenage daughter of one of his idols, but he especially could not handle a beautiful girl right now.

“Yeah,” Cole said. “No, yeah, um. Yes.”

The girl strode forward, setting her bag down on the counter, along with a water bottle decorated in stickers. He caught a few Lions ones. She offered her hand, which was slender and had two golden rings on it. “I’m Layla. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Cole took it, trying to place her. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, I babysit for the Dumais family,” she said in explanation, then waved her hand. “Well, this year, at least. I’m actually—we’re going to be working together.”

Cole blinked. “You mean the Lions?”

She nodded. “I’m in the middle of my undergrad for physical therapy. Dumo’s amazing and he got me an internship under the new PT. You know. I’ll probably get you stick tape or something,” she laughed. “Congrats, by the way.”

Cole tilted his head and she raised an eyebrow.

“On making it to the NHL?”

“Oh,” Cole laughed. “Oh, I, yeah, thanks. You, too—or…yeah.”

Cole was going to stay in his room in the basement and never come out.

“I gotta—Mrs. Du—Celeste wants these flowers outside,” he said, picking the vases up.

“Sure thing,” Layla smiled.

“Layla,” came a shriek, and a moment later Katie Dumais came sprinting into the kitchen and wrapped herself around Layla’s legs and smiled at Cole. “This is my new hockey player.”

Cole couldn’t help but laugh. He didn’t have a lot of experience with kids, but Katie sure was cute.

“Yours?” Layla gasped as she smiled at Cole. “He’s all yours, is he?”

Katie nodded. “Like Tremzy and Sirius. His name is Cole, like when Santa Clause doesn’t like you.”

Again, with the casual mentions of Logan Tremblay and Sirius Black.

“Oh, of course,” Layla laughed. “Well, I’m sure Santa Clause has never not liked you, babes. Let’s go let your mom know I’m here, okay? Your new hockey player can come with us, too.”

“He’s yours, too!” Katie insisted. “You’re here all the time, so he’s yours, too, don’t worry.”

“Oh, good,” Layla said. “I was worried.”

When Katie looked at Cole expectedly, Cole managed, “I guess everyone does need a hockey player?”

“Exactly!” Katie squealed, and Cole could only follow them outside, heart pounding.

It was good to be back in Gryffindor. Remus and Sirius had dropped their bags in Sirius’ entryway, said hello to Regulus, showered, and then hopped right back in the car to get to Pascal’s house.

“You two look disgustingly happy,” Regulus said, leaning forward from the back seat.

“We are,” Sirius grinned at him in the review mirror. “I am also happy,” he stroked the leather steering wheel of his Range Rover. “To be back with this baby.”

While Sirius’ hair had grown longer, Regulus had shaved his short. The curls were barely curls at all anymore, but Remus was happy to see that his seemingly ever-present dark circles had receded some.

“Why, thank you, Regulus, you look happy, too,” Remus snorted. “When do you leave for NYU’s orientation?”

“August 23rd,” he said. “Been texting with my housemates, too. They seem cool.”

“Maybe one of you will pull a Finn and fall in love with each other,” Sirius said.

“Twice,” Remus laughed, and Regulus did, too.

“I think I’ve had enough romance drama to last me a life time, thanks,” Regulus smiled. “But, yeah. I’m just…I’m focused on friends right now, I think. Normal, non-hockey creatures like you two. But that’s not to say if something came up…or I guess someone. Who knows.”

Sirius’ smile was softer this time. “Focus on whatever you want, Reg. You deserve it.”

Regulus just grumbled something about hockey gods, and then they were pulling up to the Dumais’. There were silver and white balloons lining the driveway and the fence to the backyard where, as Remus slammed his door, he could already hear laughter. A zing of excitement shot through him.

“I missed this team,” he sighed as Sirius took his hand.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his temple. “Your team.”

“Our team.”

“Jesus Christ,” Regulus said, and gave them a shove forward.

Thomas gave a loud woop when he spotted them coming out to the backyard. Regulus immediately made a B-line towards Leo and the Cubs.

“Yes! The Captain!” Thomas said and pulled Sirius into a hug. “Missed you, man.”

“You, too, T,” Sirius said. “Ready to tear it up?”

“You know it.”

Remus smiled as Thomas hugged him next. “I forgot you two train together before pre-season.”

“You two?” Thomas raised an eyebrow, the small gold hoops in his ears glinting in the sun. Remus noticed he’d shaved three stripes into one side of his head. They were a little wobbly. Maybe Noelle had done it. “You’re not coming with us?”

“You know how this one is about his routines,” Remus said, wrapping an arm around Sirius’ waist. “Wouldn’t want to mess anything up.”

“Please,” Sirius said. “I want you there more than I want a second—”

Remus and Thomas punched him at the same time.

“I know you weren’t just about to say that,” said an accented voice from behind Remus, and they turned to see Pascal standing there. He looked as he always did, smile lines around his eyes, gray streaks at his temples. He wore a white t-shirt and had Katie on his hip. She was definitely getting too big to be carried around like that, but Remus couldn’t see a time when Pascal would ever refuse her. He’d probably carry Adele around like that, too, if she’d let him.

“Dumo,” Sirius smiled, and took the two beers he was holding out, handing one to Remus. He kissed Katie’s forehead. “Good summer?”

“The best,” Pascal laughed, and nodded towards the edge of the yard. “Especially with the promise of seeing that thing again.”

Remus followed his gaze, and his breath caught, just as he knew it would. The Cup stood there, its guards near by with drinks and plates of food in their hands. It sat proudly on a table, surrounded by white tulips—no doubt Celeste’s doing.

“I’m excited to see you two bring it to the parade,” Pascal said. “That will be a wonderful day for everyone.”

Remus glanced at where Logan, Leo, and Finn were standing with Kasey Winter, Gryffindor’s goalie, and his partners Natalie, with her long blonde hair, and Finn’s brother Alex, who played for Tampa Bay.

Sirius’ smile lit up his face. “It will be.”

Remus peered around him. “Is that our rookie?”

Sirius scoffed. “A rookie can’t call a fellow rookie rookie, rookie.”

Remus blinked. “What did you just say?”

“That’s Cole!” Katie said. “I love him.” Then she turned and shouted his name again. He looked up from where he was standing quietly beside Jackson Nadeau, another player, and Remus suppressed a smile at the way his eyes widened when he saw Sirius.

“Oh, here we go,” Sirius mumbled.

“Oh, hush,” Remus said, and sounded far too much like his mother to himself. “You’re going to be throwing hands for him the second someone gets close, and you know it.”

“I don’t know how to tell rookies I’m just a person!” Sirius whispered as Cole began to make his way over. “They act all…”

“Star struck?” Thomas offered.

Sirius just glowered at him.

Cole Reyes did not look as young as he was. Even at 19, he was jacked, and tall, with light brown skin, green eyes, and a stripe shaved into one of his eyebrows. His hair was shaved at the sides, but longer on the top and in tight curls.

Remus glanced somewhat self-consciously down at himself. He could only put on more muscle healthily so fast. He thought he’d been doing well, but looking at Cole…

“Hello,” Cole said hesitantly and Pascal set Katie down and clapped Cole on the shoulder.

“Reyes, meet Sirius. Sirius, meet the boy who is a much better billet than you ever were.”

Sirius snorted, and Cole laughed—nervously.

“Hi, Cole,” Sirius said, and held out his hand. “I know we spoke briefly over the summer, but it’s nice to officially meet you.”

“You, too,” Cole said, smile slight. “Thanks for the call. My mom freaked out. I mean—well, me too, but my mom…” Cole stuttered out, wincing.

“Loves me?” Sirius laughed. “I get that a lot.”

“He’s so humble,” Remus shook his head jokingly. “Hi Cole, I’m Remus. Welcome to the team.”

“You too…?” Cole said hesitantly. “Well, the roster, I guess.”

“Cole,” Katie said, taking his large hand in her small one. “Come meet Tremzy. He’s my best friend.”

Sirius feigned a pout. “What about me?”

Katie smiled sheepishly, throwing herself at Sirius’ legs, “You, too!”

“Always one-uped by Tremblay,” Thomas laughed, shaking his head. “How’s it feel, Cap?”

“Wonderful,” Sirius said dryly and then looked down at Katie, petting her head. “Go on, go show Cole your best friend.”

They watched her lead Cole through the crowd for a moment before Sirius huffed.

“See?” Sirius whispered to Remus. “It’s like he’s scared of me.”

“I’ve never heard you use the phrase spoke briefly in my life. Who are you, Alice?”

“I was trying to be professional!”

Remus laughed. “Why?”

Sirius just rolled his eyes and dragged him over to stack their plates with food.

The party went well into the evening, the sky pink and blue in the setting sun. There were lanterns floating in the pool where Evgeni and Jackson were playing chicken with a delighted Marc and Louis, or sometimes one of Coach Arthur Weasley’s boys, on their shoulders. Logan was sitting with Cole and Finn, cradling a sleepy Katie against his chest, Leo and Regulus laughing with Kasey and Alex.

Remus found Sirius again standing alone in front of the Cup. His hair was falling into his face, the curls gentled by the evening breeze and the Cup’s silver surface reflecting the silver of Sirius’ eyes. Remus went to stand beside him, and neither of them spoke for a moment.

“I’m nervous,” Remus broke the silence.

Sirius nodded. “I know, mon loup.”

Remus sighed, resting his head against Sirius’ arm. “Yeah?”

“Of course,” Sirius switched his drink to his other hand so he could run his fingers through Remus’ hair. “This is…big.”

“It’s what I’ve always wanted,” Remus whispered. It felt dangerous, to say the words aloud. “It’s everything that I lost. Last time.”

Remus could still feel Fenrir Greyback rip at his shoulder, even if it was years ago now, while they were still at college. Being in the NHL meant that Remus would have to play against him again whenever they met Vegas.

Sirius turned towards him, hand on his cheek.

“You will have this,” he said earnestly, and then smile, reaching into his shirt for his necklace, the one Remus had gifted him last Christmas. He brought it to his lips. “Loops.”

Remus smiled at the now familiar sight, touching the pendant when Sirius’ let it drop.

“You know,” Remus said. “You’re everything I’ve always wanted, too.”

Sirius’ smile was one of Remus’ favorites, and he tucked him against his side. Remus followed his gaze to find him looking at Cole again.

“I’m not happy with the way it happened,” Sirius said softly, and Remus knew he was thinking of the pictures that someone had leaked of them kissing. The pictures that had upturned their entire lives. “But I’m glad I get to hold you like this in front of new faces. I wasn’t thinking about trades—I try not to—but getting Reyes, if things had been different, would have meant we were back to square one at parties like these.”

Remus nodded, taking a drink. “And he seemed okay with it. With us.”

“I was thinking we should invite him to train with us. With me, you, and T. Maybe Dumo would join, too. I know he usually goes with Sergei, but Sergei might be with Kuns and Nado, even though they usually like it just them. The Cubs—”

“Okay, Captain, okay,” Remus laughed.

Sirius pressed a hand over his eyes, laughing. “I just don’t like it when they’re nervous around me. Like Leo was. It’s so much better now that we’re friends.”

“You’ll get there with him,” Remus said. “Yeah, invite him to train with us. The more the merrier.”

Secretly, Remus wanted to see how Cole trained. He couldn’t shake the analytical side of him, the physical therapist side. Cole was built for such a young age.

“If I didn’t know better,” Sirius said softly, mouth close to Remus’ ear. “I’d say you were checking him out.”

Remus spluttered. “I’m not! I want to know his routine!”

Sirius cracked up. “This is your superstition, isn’t it? Cracking other player’s codes.”

Remus just shrugged, smiling into his cup.

“Have you cracked my code?” Sirius asked in the low voice he used that made Remus not want to be surrounded by people.

Remus looked up at him. “Maybe. It certainly has nothing to do with a piece of toast at five o’clock.”

“My pre-game toast is very important to me.”

Remus leaned up to press a quick kiss to his lips. “No, you just like honey and cinnamon.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’m going to talk to Reyes now.”

“Catch him if he passes out.”

Sirius just glowered over his shoulder as he stalked across the grass. Remus looked around at the back yard, at the team, together again. His team.

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