#face card wise

[loganlostitall]

My taste in men is so all over the place all the time

But sometimes there are similarities

[bandsanitizer]

in the least offensive way possible to seventeen (seriously) ateez has way too much face card to be covering pretty u

[dilemmaed]

got a fancy pack of what I assume are official stranger things playing cards and guess who's the king of hearts. that's right michael wheeler

[augustinewrites]

“do you not love me anymore?”

satoru’s (self-proclaimed) adorable pout is rendered ineffective when you refuse to look up from your work, typing away on your computer as his world absolutely crumbles.

“are you a worm?” you ask, wholly uninterested in his theatrics.

“no.”

“then of course i still love you.”

“then what the heck is this?!”

sighing, you finally lift your gaze to see your wallet open and laid out in front of you. “that’s what this is about?”

“you took my favourite picture of us out for megumi’s school photo!”

“that was not your favourite picture of us,” you argue. “you keep that in a locked folder on your phone.” 

(it’s your fault that he thinks of that photo now, having to utilise mental skills he’d learned during unnecessarily sexy sparring lessons in high school to will away the beginning of stiffness in his pants) 

“that’s not the point,” he says calmly, tapping a finger over megumi’s glaring face. “the point is that i’m losing top-billing in my girlfriend’s wallet to a snot-nosed brat with a crush.” 

“really? you’re competing with a seven year old?” 

“it’s not competing if i’m losing!”

“it’s puppy love, satoru,” you laugh, closing your wallet before he can see that his card is inside. “i don’t think he’s ever had someone - that wasn’t his sister - fussing over him.”

“no, he definitely has a crush on you,” your boyfriend insist, draping himself over your lap quite dramatically. “can we still disown him if the adoption papers haven’t gone through yet?”

“no one is disowning anyone,” you tell him, gently pushing back his bangs to plant a kiss on his forehead. “you’ll just have to learn to live with the competition.”

_____

you’re halfway through the show you’re watching when the front door swings open and satoru tumbles inside. “honey, i’m home! nanami almost killed me at the gym.”

“hey, there’s lunch in the fridge,” you call, eyes glued to the television. 

satoru, predictably, is unsatisfied with this. he grabs the mug that you’re holding and sets it on the coffee table, wrapping you in a sweaty hug and peppering your face with kisses. 

“let me love you!” he whines, his hair tickling your nose as he nuzzle his face into your neck.

“you can love me after you take a shower, cause you stink.” your tone is stern, but you can’t seem to fight the smile that grows on your face as he hugs you tighter. 

“this is all for your benefit,” he argues, finally releasing you just to pull the hem of his shirt up. you try to smother the heat rising to your face, but satoru notices, a self satisfied smirk on his lips as he pats his abs. “i’m letting nanami kill me at the gym for you.”

“you’re such a slut,” you mutter, wriggling out of his grasp and over to the opposite end of the couch. satoru relents, staying on his end as he recounts his (apparently) near-death experience at the gym.

it’s a few moments later when megumi saunters into the living room.

“megumi! come sit with me!”

the boy’s nose immediately wrinkles. “you stink.”

his full-force pout returns. “i do not!”

“do too.”

“do not—”

“do too,” megumi scoffs, plopping down next to you and resting his head against your arm. 

“so you’re gonna let him snuggle with you but not me? i’m tired and sore and—”

“and sweaty,” you finish. “go take a shower.” 

he glances down at the kid glued to your side, brows raised as he mouths, crush. 

you roll your eyes, thinking it wise to not engage in any banter in front of megumi. 

(but as your attention returns to the tv, what you don’t see is megumi’s own little smirk, directed right at satoru.

like father, like son.)

[vcendent]

Duke, after joining the family: Guys, I think I accidentally pissed off Batman.

Dick: What makes you say that?

Duke: Well, he was reviewing my last report, and when he was done he just sort of stared at me stone-faced for a minute and then grunted and went back to what he was doing.

Tim: Was it like a "hrrghn", or was it more of a "hurmmf"?

Duke: What?

Tim: The grunt.

Duke: Like a "hhrmn" I guess? Does it matter?

Jason, laughing: Oh, trust me, it matters.

Dick: Don't worry, he's not mad at you. He's actually impressed with your report, that was him giving you praise.

Duke: How could you possibly know that from a grunt?

Damian: Father often has trouble expressing himself in words, so we've all learned to discern between his different grunts to be able to understand him.

Duke: *snorts*

Everyone:

Duke: Oh, you guys are serious.

Jason: Dead.

Tim: You would be wise to start studying now, Batmanese has a lot of tonal indicators.

Dick: I'll go find you my old flash cards.

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

if the military wanted you to have a wife, they'd issue you one. Soap's heard that saying once or twice.

and here you are. claiming to be his... issuance.

you tilt your head. "you don't remember signing up for the program?"

no. no, he doesn't. his eyes dart down to your lips for a fraction of a second before returning to your eyes. he'd remember that. more to the point, he'd remember whatever he did to deserve this. he looks you up and down again, disbelief and desire flashing across his face, and not in equal measure.

you’re like if someone wrung the starry slurry of thoughts constituting what makes a perfect woman directly from his brain matter, let it ferment and clarify like honey wine, put marriage papers in her hand, and dressed her in a… in a fucking… are those stockings stretching up under your skirt?

hell’s bells. you’re one part girl next door, one part muse—the one his hand can never quite shape on the page to match what’s in his head—and several shades of his favorite porn star. an old-fashioned pin-up doll in the flesh.

"you're not John MacTavish, then," you say, peering down at the papers in your hand with a small frown. "so sorry to bother you—"

“no, hold on.” he takes a step closer. “i’m him, aye. but the program...” the application questionnaire. filling it out was nothing more than a drunken bet with Gaz, but yes, he dimly remembers it. doesn't recall turning it in, but maybe he was drunker than he thought. “it's real?"

“completely real. i was selected for you based on the preferences you specified,” you tell him. you shift the clipboard into your other arm, pleasant smile turning into a frown. "but i couldn't possibly ask you to sign a marriage certificate sponsored by a program you don't even remember applying for."

oh, that is rich. you don’t seem to see the humor here. it’s absurd. have you not seen yourself? he'd be daft to pass on someone as bonnie as you.

not to mention you seem more than a little disappointed at the idea of being turned down. that fuels his ego even more.

 "you're sayin' you're a part of that military partnership program, aye? and you were handpicked as my spouse based on a few questions?"

you helpfully produce a copy of his responses in pink triplicate. sure enough, he recognizes his own drunken scrawl.

none of the questions have anything to do his preferences looks-wise. career aspirations, communication preferences, hobbies, his ideal saturday night. his sleeping habits. this is a psychological profile. CIA shite, as Gaz would say.

he doubts his drunken self read more than a few lines of this paperwork while he was constructing his dream girl in the survey blanks.

as he studies the page a little too closely, your small frown turns into a frustrated scowl. "john? um, i mean."

it instantly pulls his eyes back to your lips.

you twirl a strand of hair around your finger. "it’s nice to meet you,” you say in a tone that makes it clear what you’re really saying is ‘hey, stud, i'm looking forward to the honeymoon.’

that’s your attempt, at least. but Soap sees more than you mean to show. the way you play that card--the way you twirl your damn hair--is the clumsiest, most blatant attempt to flirt. somehow, that's what catches him off-guard the most. It makes his heart squeeze. god, are you nervous? you?

he runs over the back of his teeth in the split second before his signature lazy smirk slides back across his face. "happy you got paired up with a bloke like me?"

he hands the paperwork back to you. you take it back with great relief and nestle it securely into the crook of your elbow. you’re certain he didn’t sign every single blank he was supposed to, but he won’t remember that. you’ll check the signature lines later and forge his handwriting to finish it.

you smile prettily at him. then you make it a little more coy. you should be bashful--he's handsome. "i'm lucky. you're special forces. i’m a nobody, really. if you want, you could try filing for a spouse upgrade. if you want a really good fiancée..."

“fiancée." Soap rolls the word around his tongue. "is that what i should call you?”

"well. you saw my name on the paperwork," you point out. you know very well he didn't.

before he can ask any more questions, you press a chaste kiss to his cheek and pull away, walking down the hall with documents in tow. his gaze is heavy on your back.

the documents in your arm are real enough. Soap really did complete that questionnaire, just like how he remembers. getting the application turned in is what required a little creative effort.

but as long as nobody looks too closely at the military ID photocopied in the application file, they won't notice that the mostly-obscured face of the soldier who turned the application in doesn't look much like Soap at all.

...

more Soap / masterlist

[hysteria-things]

can we have a fic where reader is innocent and mean dom!matt takes her card if ykyk🙏🙏🙏

BONUS!

NOT SO INNOCENT

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!matt x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: matt figures out what game you’re playing; which your “innocence” is just an act.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: FILTHY, swearing, dry humping, degradation, pussy slapping, fingering, finger sucking, p in v, spanking, choking, corruption kink, faux-sympathy, crying, breeding, ROUGH

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,069

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i’m sorry if the reader isn’t as innocent i’m too horny to write about innocence right now😪

MATT IS A MEANIE IN THIS! I’M WARNING YOU, THIS ONE IS A LITTLE MUCH! AS ALWAYS, BE AWARE THAT THIS IS FICTION! love you all :)

if innocent had a picture in the dictionary, it would be of you. Intimacy-wise, you’ve only held hands and kissed — not made out — kissed. you haven’t even been eaten out, let alone been fingered or fingered yourself. you’re a fucking virgin for crying out loud.

well… you have ridden your pillow before, thinking about your current boyfriend. especially when he’s sleeping next to you.

still being fully clothed, your clit rubs perfectly against the fabric while you rock your hips. you swallow every moan, instead choking out and breathing heavily. your pink bow lays haphazardly in your disheveled hair. looking at matt’s face, you lean forward to hit a different angle. you pout, shutting your eyes before the pillow disappears, and the ecstasy goes away. “stop acting like a slut and go the fuck to bed.” matt’s voice says, the pent-up orgasm fading away.

secretly, you’re a nymphomaniac. interesting. maybe you’re NOT SO INNOCENT after all.

most girls want their first time to be gentle and a night to remember, but you want it the opposite. you purposely want it rough. you want to cry out from how good it feels. you want to feel useless under matt’s weight.

wiping the sugar off of your hands, you finish your cookie, a smile of contentment on your face. you are leaning over the counter when you hear the front door of the home open. when the footsteps enter the kitchen, you bite your lip and wiggle your ass. you’re wearing a micro skirt, a lacy thong on full display.

“i’m so fucking sick of your shit,” he says suddenly, grasping your wrist and practically dragging you as you stumble up the stairs. you giggle to the bedroom. his hands push at your chest, causing you to fall back on the bed.

tearing your tights open, he rips off your panties. you wince, before squealing when he gives your pussy a slap. “you’re ready for me to fuck you dumb, huh?”

you nod frantically, earning another slap on your folds. “use your words.”

“y-yes.” you breathe out, eyes already watering. “yes, please.”

your heart beats fast in your chest, nervous but excited at the same time. you shiver once you feel fingertips graze your slit. collecting your slick, he inserts his pointer finger inside your hole. face scrunching up, you bite back a hiss.

torso lifting from the bed, he pins it back down with his hand on your stomach. another hand makes contact with the outside of your thigh. “relax. sit still for me, yeah?”

pumping slowly, you gasp softly into the air, before he adds his ring finger out of nowhere. “ah.” you moan painfully, the pressure feeling strange from his long digits moving in and out. his body shifts on top of you, lips hovering over yours.

right when matt kisses you longingly, he curls his fingers to get that spot nice and deep. because of how wet you are, it makes it easier for him to pump at a faster pace. you wiggle and squirm in his grasp, but there’s no point.

it’s embarrassing how quickly he pulls an orgasm out of you. you quiver underneath him nonetheless, a squelching noise heard once he takes his fingers out. he grips your jaw, taking you by surprise, and lifts his digits into your view.

they glisten in the moonlight, your release dripping down his knuckles. before being able to get out a breath, you choke instead when he shoves them into your mouth. you groan at the taste. “you like the way you taste?”

humming in a positive way, your eyes roll back when you suck the remaining liquid off. the flavor is sweet and salty at the same time. “slut’s getting turned on.” he says matter of factly, before gripping tight onto your waist to flip you over. he gives you a spank, groaning at the view.

soaking wet, arousal dripping down your inner thigh, he pulls down his pants. his eyes stay on the mess in front of him, pumping himself a few times before lining up to your entrance. his veiny hand takes your small ones and pins them behind your back. “come on.” you hear matt talk to himself, trying to push his tip inside of you. you arch your ass to him, crying out when there’s a stinging on your buttcheek. “greedy whore.” he mumbles.

“too big!” you whine, matt fucking only the tip in your needy cunt.

“too big.” he mocks with a scoff. “i’m not even close to halfway.”

pulling out, he laughs out loud. he’s fucking laughing at you. “i’ve been wanting to stretch out this pussy for months.”

biting the pillow your head is resting on, you scream when he suddenly bullies all of his cock into you. he moans, throwing his head back. this is better than he’s ever imagined. he wraps his hand around your neck.

that’s it. you’re officially under matt’s dominance.

sliding his dick in repeatedly, you moan uncontrollably in the pillow. “poor baby.” he coos in a faux tone. “not so goody-goody now, right?”

yeah, it’s painful, but it’s pleasurable at the time time. tears trickle down your face, your toes curling as his cock drills into you. your hands clench into fists, knuckles turning white. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” you whimper softly.

“god, you’re so fucking tight. my tight little pussy to use whenever i please,” he grunts, your body rocking to the point where the bed starts to squeak.

“it hurts!” you sob, rolling your eyes back when he hits your g-spot. “hurts too good!”

the same hot feeling as before forms in your abdomen. you clench around him, wanting to cum so badly on his shaft. “going to breed you real nice; fill you up to the brim so a part of me can be with you forever.”

a ring of white smears around his base, and you nod quickly. “i knew a slut like you would like that shit. you look so pretty cumming for me.”

body spent, you’re shaking as your brain feels empty. you can’t think straight anymore, only about how your boyfriend’s load paints your gummy walls. you try to catch your breath when he pulls out, still in position with a mixture of cum dripping from your cunt onto the comforter. you can’t help but smile sinisterly.

just like that, your innocence is gone.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @moncherriis @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hearrtsturns @stars4matt @freshsturns @sturnlcvr @tpvmz @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @thesturniolos @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @bernardsbendystraws

[mongccse]

Establishing tags.

Extra Clever • Headcanons.

Turn and Fight! • Rikki.

And I'll Split the Atom! • Gef.

We shan't tell you • Asks.

The obscured faces • Anonymous.

Nicer Homes • Threads.

The Other Freak • OOC.

The 5th Dimension • Promotionals.

Verse I • Merriment of Mongooses.

Verse II • The Chase Begins.

Chittering and Chattering • Interaction Call.

Words of the Wise Bring a Pen and Sword • Drabbles.

PISS WEASEL? • Crack.

Watching the crowds • Dash Commentary.

Send a Letter • Inbox.

A Word from Our Sponsors • Promotional Cards.

[queenie-the-court-jester]

pucker up buttercup

Yandere florist x reader

Tw: mentions of physical abuse in sexual settings, implied drugging and somnophilia, stalking, implied possessive behavior and controlling nature, mildly nsfw. Not proofread 🌺

🌷Benny was the quiet kid of your school. You didn't know much about him, except he was a good student and apart of the gardening club. That was all, but Benny? Oh he knew you very well..

🌷you were stunning. You had such amazing hair that he wanted to play with every night before going to sleep, those stunning beautiful eyes that always ghosted over his form in the cafeteria, and your voice that always managed to make him rock hard down there

🌷 recently your family had gotten a wide assortment of flowers for an event. Thinking they were pretty, you asked for the florists name or any social they might have. They handed you a card with the info, and with that you looked up the account on Instagram.

🌷 scrolling through their posts you found a familiar face you'd see every day in the school halls. What was his name again? Benjamin? Beanie? No.. oh yeah! Benny! You didnt know he had such a good eye for aesthetics, especially flower arrangements. But that has to be expected since he spends all his time gardening

🌷the next time you saw him, you walked right up to his table on campus grounds. A bit far from the other outside lunch areas. He froze when he saw a familiar pair of shoes, looking up at you slowly with those big blue eyes

"you're a florist right?"

"y-yes..?"

"how much for a dozen roses and half a dozen tulips?"

🌷you became a regular after that. He'd wait anxiously every day for you in the plant nursery after school. He always gave you such cheap prices, claiming you were his friend and he only did favors for them. You thought he was sweet, so when you heard rumors about him being caught sneaking around the girls locker rooms and stalking a classmate? You shrugged it off,most likely empty gossip

🌷if only you paid attention to the red flags sooner.. you would have realized Benny's real nature. When he asked you out prom night, you agreed, he was sweet and you weren't seeing anyone at the moment. Who knew, maybe this would be the start of a beautiful relationship?

Pros with Benny:

🌹atleast he's a very generous lover. Spoiling you with what he could afford, since he came from humble beginnings he's always wise with the money you both have

🌹 he's completely devoted to you! Never looking at anyone else with love or lust, always worshipping you both in bed and outside it

🌹you learn new things. Like natural remedies, plants and their names, their usefulness to make nearly everything. Even drugs (He's vegan.)

🌹he wants to settle down and raise a family with you as soon as you graduate college! He gets tipsy and love drunk thinking about it too much. He'd make an excellent father. Kind of.

The cons:

🥀 randomly, he'll get very aggressive in bed. Biting you till your skin bleeds, slapping your chest and ass, degrading you with the most vilest words. Not to mention he seems to really like choking you till you almost pass out

🥀he doesn't know how to take no for an answer, he'll go scarily quiet and his eyes will turn dull. A complete contrast to how he usually is. Surely a little intimidation will make you change your mind no?

🥀 he's possessive with your time and love. If he ever notices you staring at anyone a little too long, who isn't friends or family he knows of, you bet there'll be missing person posters by the end of the week

🥀he forbids you from going into the basement. Saying it's his private nursery and you should respect his privacy, even if he doesn't respect yours

🥀 randomly you'll feel sleepy after Eating anything he makes you, growing drowsy and the last thing you can remember is feeling clammy hands hastily unbutton your pants and shirt

[rose-maidenn]

🔸️Pick a card 🔸️

1-2-3

♧Let me describe the way you speak

♤What do people think of that

◇ A tip

Hi guys so nice to see you here I hope life's been extra sweet to the sweet angel that you are ❤️✨️ for this reading choose a picture from the above intuitively, take what resonates and leave the rest , enjoyyy ✨️

Images via Pinterest, dividers by @enchanthings

Pile 1 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

What I get is that your voice is kinda breathy and you speak like an ancient wanderer who has seen a lot of the world, I feel like you're someone to whom people come for advice , also one of your friends is forwarding your voice messages to a secret lover omg 😂 don't worry this isn't creepy because that can be someone from your friend group . Your prime aim of speech seems to be motivating people, though you don't claim to know a lot but whatever you know you know it by your heart and that's what makes you loved among your friends and feared among your enemies

♤What do people think of that

People think you're the light to their shadow no really you sound like an angel like a billie eilish , lana del vibe really 💌 it screams a bunny like maiden energy but also a very wise women by the way you speak , I feel like some people are naturally inclined to ask you for directions the visitors in your city , you might have a mole on your face that's so attractive . People might wanna set your voice as a lullaby .

◇ A tip

Okay so get that you might stutter at the pronunciation of a certain letter in the alphabet , I get that you should observe the mouth movement of the people who talk to you it will help you a lot , Avoid cold foods if you have migrane issues . Elevate your knowledge to about some recent social or celebrity news as well because soon you're gonna find a group that's gonna help you go far ahead so win the world my little angel 🎀

Pile 2 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

I think most people here are people who are contralto , alto or husky voiced , more men might be here as well , your voice seems like the one in those youtube audios all I can say is your voice is ultra s**y it's silky like butter on fresh bread or water , your voice is versatile you also might be into beat boxing or rapping . You have nice breath control . The prime aim of your speech is to keep your thoughts to the world , you're up to date in studies and social affairs .

♤What do people think of that

People down right want your voice ❤️‍🔥 you're like an husky Ariel .you have nice pronunciation, because of having a deep voice if you rap often people find it so attractive and want to learn they literally mimic how to speak like you but it's actually so natural to know you don't even try . You're someone who might be able to talk to a room full of people and make them listen to what you have to say because of how much emphasis you can put through your voice .

◇ A tip

Though you're good at sentence formation, you often mess up a little on how to say a certain word in a sentence like " I think a bird is meant to be free " here if the subject is the bird your voice might put more focus on the meant and it's very subconscious so try putting more emphasis on what you want to get through to the people. What a good life to be as amazing as you ❤️‍🔥

Pile 3 :

♧Let me describe the way you speak

You have a very indigenous voice, a voice that reeks of mountains or ancient voice very beautiful sultry or gorgeous✨️ , a very country or folk song oriented voice , a voice that reaches the blood of the people your larynx seems to work like an instrument, some of you might have learned music as a child like doremifa or saregamapa you're a great singer . On the other hand some people in this pile might also have a very shrill feminine voice that's loud but commanding very unique voice like 2000s Paris Hilton vibe .

♤What do people think of that

You remind people of their roots I feel like your political stances are very appreciated they like the way you speak about your art and the instances of your life almost like poetry in motion. You might be good at selling things because of the way you passionately speak about the things you wanna Market . You will make a great youtuber because you know how to cater each audience you're very street smart . The prime aim of your speech is expression .

◇ A tip

One tip for you might be to focus on speaking up more you have so much art inside you but also you're an introvert but you know you'll do more good to the world by speaking more than keeping it to yourself , ofcourse take your time as to be comfortable around your setting to let your true thoughts flow from your heart to your throat , it's more like this because you're a little scared also a blockage in your heart chakra work on it I'm sure you're a rock star ✨️

Thanks for being here ❤️ dm to book a personal reading ✨️

[harunayuuka2060]

WHB Series #1 (Cont.)

*The angels created by the MC kneel before them, awaiting their orders.*

MC: You’re all quite a handful, but I can’t release you just yet. I need to see if you’re truly worthy of being called my angels.

MC: Hm... What is the first virtue?

The angels: Purity.

MC: What are the fourth and seventh virtues?

The angels: Compassion and Wisdom.

MC: *smiles* That's right. Lastly,

MC: What do we do with pedophiles?

The angels: Kill them without mercy.

MC: *chuckles* You're ready.

MC: Raphael, guide these angels to their destination.

Raphael: *smiles then bows his head*

Raphael: *faces the angels* Let's go!

MC, Michael, and Gabriel: *watch Raphael and the angels leave*

Michael: ...

Michael: Those angels only follow the three virtues you mentioned. Why didn’t you teach them all of the virtues?

MC: Why would I teach them all the virtues when you, a seraph, misunderstood them?

Michael: ...

Gabriel: *smirks* Michael, haven't you learned your lesson yet to never question god?

Michael: *seethes in anger*

MC: ...

MC: *yawns*

Gabriel: God?

MC: Shh, quiet. Let me sleep. *closes their eyes*

Michael and Gabriel: ...

Solomon: I'm impressed.

MC: Yeah, yeah. I'm the goat. *lies down*

Solomon: Looks like you're really exhausted.

MC: Creating angels... Watching my back... Acting like divine... Figures.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: Michael is in your room.

MC: I don't care. I'm tired.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: Surprisingly, he doesn't seem to be planning of doing anything.

MC: Just be on the lookout in case he wants to stab me. *yawns*

Solomon: You're lucky if he doesn't break your neck.

MC: Nah, that's too quick. Bro would torture me than give me an easy death.

Solomon: *chuckles*

Michael: ...

MC: *sleeping peacefully in bed*

Michael: ...

Michael: *sits beside them*

Michael: ...

Michael: You may possess the power of a god, but I will never see you as one.

MC: *turns to their side, facing him*

Michael: ...

Michael: *lies down beside them*

Michael: ...

Michael: *snuggles against them*

Michael: !!!

Michael: *his breathing became ragged, and his face flushed*

Michael: Why... Why do I— *his eyes moved down to their lips*

Michael: *moves closer to kiss them*

MC: *opens their eyes and headbutts him*

Michael: !!! *falls out of the bed*

MC: Ow, my head...

Michael: ...

MC: *glares at him*

Michael: ...I may have disturbed your sleep.

MC: *shoots him on the forehead*

Michael: ...

Michael: ?

MC: Don't be surprised. The act of killing is forbidden in this room.

MC: However, consider that a warning.

Michael: ...

Michael: *chuckles*

Michael: *kneels in front of them, and gently presses a kiss to their foot*

MC: !!!

MC: What the f—

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: What did you say?

Foras: Seraph Michael... has become obsessed with the descendant of Solomon.

Leviathan, Barbatos, and Glasyalabolas: ...

Barbatos: That's not good!

Glasyalabolas: You didn't have to point that out.

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: What else do you know?

Foras: He attempted to kiss them on the lips and when he failed... he kissed their foot.

Leviathan: ...

Leviathan: That filthy angel—

MC: *is clearly stressing out* He's trying to play the 'love your enemy' card.

Solomon: Does he? Or is he actually in love with you?

MC: ...

MC: You're supposed to be wise here.

Solomon: *chuckles* Well, you got your first kiss.

MC: Yeah, from someone who has a foot fetish!

Solomon: *laughs*

[moonreader1010]

Pac: how people perceive you<3

Note: 1. take what resonates.

2. Take a deep breath. Ask your spirit guides to help you choose the pile and choose the one that calls out to you.

3. Pictures used are from Pinterest. All rights go to the original owner.

Pile 1:

She'll put you in a trance at first glance

Don't wanna fall in love, but I'll take a chance

straight up I got vision of this one picture that I saw on Pinterest a while back. It was a rabbit in an armour with some sort of spikey weapon and it said “soft but not available for mistreatment”. Very do not harm but take no shit vibes. I see major cancer placements. You can tame anyone. I keep getting beauty and the beast vibes. Like, you know how to tame people. People listen to you but I don’t see and boss employee kind of relationship but more like a goddess and her followers kind of relationship. I see you being hurt in the past. Was growing up difficult baby? Did someone hurt you? I wanna hug you right now. You are an inspiration. You are a warrior and you are so so strong and wise. I feel like we are getting away from the actual question of the reading but I feel like someone wanted me to tell you this hahah. So onto the question that how people perceive you, I think they can tell that you have been through something that changed you. Made you stronger and wiser. People definitely see you as someone who will nail the trope of “taming the bad boy” haha. But ofcourse remember that it’s not your job to fix anyone and I feel like you already know this. People see you as someone who dances in the rain, confident (lots of cards show me the theme of confidence actually), hopeful. They also see you as this boss lady (gender neutral). They see you as someone who is busy building empires.

Additional: student, business, garden, summer dresses, flowers.

Song: Dangerous woman by Wieland

Pile 2: You wear that cast so cool

And I'm in awe

A face like you've never seen before

Around

people see you as someone who is constantly moving(it could be traveling or you know, making moves generally) you are not a still entity. You are always doing something. People see you as someone who is very private and mysterious. It’s hard to know anything about you. Moon seems to be really significant for some reason. People also see you as someone who cuts people of very quickly. No bullshit kinda person. You can deal with absence but won’t take disrespect. You are an achiever. People see you as someone who is constantly trying to learn something. You are open to experiences. You walk away from a situation that doesn’t serve you and that’s what many people admire about you. Young hear and old soul is what I keep hearing. People feel like they can come to you for help and also see you as someone who is very sensible.

Additional: wood, earth signs, moon, 3, heart on your sleeves, white flowers, driving far away.

Songs for you: Ever (foreign sleep) by team sleep.

Pile 3: Baby, this is what you came for

Lightning strikes every time she moves

And everybody's watchin' her

But she's lookin' at you,

people see you as someone who works really hard. They see you as someone who is very responsible and completes tasks like a pro. They see you as a leader. Is acts of services you love language? People feel like they can always count on you. You are always there to help people. You honestly are a great leader you know? Some people seem to see you as a rival. A competition. You make people competitive pile 3. People see you as someone who is very faithful. You are almost untouchable to people. You seem to be on an entire different level that they cannot reach. People see you as someone who is smart and has a way with words. You seem like someone who would do great in negotiations and business exchange lol.

Additional: ships, sea, commerce, green,

Song for you: this is what you came for by Calvin Harris and Rihanna. (Very Rihanna energy lol)

[russo-woso]

This isn’t a good idea || Leah Williamson

Warning smut 18+, fingering, public setting

Based on this request here. Thank you for the idea :)

You knew from the moment you woke up how the day would end.

From the minute you opened your eyes, you knew you’d wake up tomorrow morning without the ability to walk.

Leah loved milestones.

First kiss.

First date.

First anniversary.

But this one was the biggest one so far in her opinion.

Your fifth anniversary.

Five years ago, you and Leah became a couple and that was a major thing is Leah’s eyes, and yours.

For the past three weeks, Leah had been telling you that she had planned the whole day for the two of you.

From the moment you woke up, to the moment you close your eyes.

So when Leah woke you up early on the day of your anniversary, you knew it was going to be a hectic but loving day.

“Babe, wake up.” Leah whispered, pressing kisses to your exposed collarbones, which just happened to be covered in light purple bruises from a few nights ago.

“Hi, baby.” You said, quietly, a big smile appearing on your face as you saw Leah.

“Happy anniversary, love.” Leah told you, pressing her lips on yours.

“Happy anniversary, Leah.” You mumble before kissing her again.

"Are you ready for today?" Leah asked, a cheeky grin resting on her face.

"Well, I will be when you tell me what we're doing." You reply, excitedly.

You were excited because for the last three weeks, Leah kept teasing you about what you were going to be doing but then when it came to you asking, Leah would refuse to reveal it.

But this time, instead of not telling you, Leah was going to tell you.

"We're going to jump in the shower together, then we're going to the spa for the morning. After a relaxing morning, we're going to go shopping. Whatever shops you want to go to, you can buy whatever you want, on my card, including a new outfit for dinner tonight at the new Italian place that you've been wanting to try." Leah explained and you couldn't help but smile at her excitement that showed whilst telling you.

"You don't have to spoil me, baby."

"Of course I do, love. You spoil me everyday. Let me just have a day so I can spoil you." Leah told you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, gently massaging it.

"Thank you, Le." You said, before she grabbed a hold of your hips, pulling you onto her hips.

Placing her lips on your exposed chest, Leah started to rock your body back and fourth on her thighs.

You rolled your head back due to the contact, a stifled sigh leaving your mouth.

"Le, please don't start something you can't finish." You told her, coming to realisation that this would probably have to wait until later.

"It's just a warm up for later, love." Leah smirked, playfully winking at you before guiding you to your en-suite bathroom.

_______

The day had gone perfectly.

Just as Leah said, the morning was relaxing. You enjoyed your time at the spa, using it wisely to unwind.

After a nice couples massage, you and Leah drove into the centre of London, stopping off at several shops to pick up the perfect outfits for your date.

You decided to go for a simple dress that showed some cleavage whereas Leah bought a new brown suit, that you loved.

Once you'd finished shopping, you made your way home, getting ready before making your way to the restaurant.

You and Leah sat down and ordered your meals along with a bottle of red wine.

"You look gorgeous tonight, love." Leah complimented, leaning in close to leave a kiss on your cheek.

"So do you, baby." You replied back, taking a sip of red wine.

As the night went on, you couldn't help but notice Leah's wandering hand travelling up your thigh.

At first, it was an innocent hand placement, she gently squeezed it as you continued your conversation with her.

It was something she always did, but as you ate, it travelled further and further up until eventually you had to take it away and place it in its original place.

You'd already finished eating once her hand started travelling again.

After a while, her fingers laid just under your dress, slightly moving the fabric further up your thigh.

"Le, stop it. Don't start something you can't finish." You repeated your words from earlier, sending Leah a warning look.

"Who says I can't finish this?" Leah asked rhetorically and you shook your head at her.

"Leah... not here, not now."

You were lying if you said you didn't want it because, truth be told, you'd been waiting all day, but not in the middle of a busy restaurant with waiters walking past every few seconds and people surrounding you.

"Come on, babe. No one will know. Just keep quiet." Leah whispered in your ear, her fingers circling your covered clit.

She moved your underwear to the side, swiping her fingers through your folds.

"You're soaked, pretty girl." Leah muttered, taking a sip from her glass.

From a person walking by's view, it looked like a couple having dinner, but from your view, you could see Leah knuckle deep inside you.

"Fuck, Le." You breathed out, unable to make a noise due to the life surrounding you.

"You look so beautiful like this, love. When we get home, I'm gonna fuck you so good. So good that you'll be screaming my name."

Leah, teasingly, slowed down her pace to stop your orgasm from approaching.

"Please, le. Please, I want to cum. I want to cum on your fingers." You begged and Leah obliged, speeding up the pace of her fingers.

Leah continued to thrust her fingers in and out you before curling them.

You grabbed a hold of her bicep as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Leah pulled you in for a mind numbing kiss, her lips smashing into yours.

The lingering taste of red wine on her lips had you in a chokehold.

The smell of her perfume had intoxicated you.

the feeling of her fingers in your pussy had you shattering into millions of pieces.

Leah kept her lips on yours until you came. She wanted to swallow all your orgasmic sounds that escaped your lips.

"Fuck." was all you said as you broke your lips from hers, looking in her eyes to see her eyes full of lust.

Leah pulled her fingers out of your pussy, a small whine leaving your lips at the loss of contact, and bought them to her mouth.

She let out a small hum of satisfaction as she licked her fingers clean.

"I don't think i'll be needing desert, do you?"

[misaamoure]

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐄???

𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝟏-𝟏𝟎!!!

𝐃𝐑. 𝐙𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄: 11/10 best ride guaranteed!!

I’m not biased I swear. Have you seen that dorsal hump?? Everything is perfect about his nose. The height is sure to reach your clit, so no need to worry about that. Width wise it’s also great, the thickness is just perfect for rubbing between your folds. The tip of his nose is nice and round so it’ll feel great rubbing on your clit and also through your folds. The dorsal hump is another wave of stimulation as he grabs your hips to make you grind on his face. After poking and prodding him all over and paying extra attention to his beautiful nose, Zayne had a proposition for you. “If you want it next time, tell me directly.” He’d probably have you straddle his head, gripping your thighs as you steady yourself. You asked him multiple times if he was really as okay with this as he seemed, to which he made a dissatisfied sound and said something along the lines of, “just sit down please.” You’d hover above his face for a moment, unsure about if you’d hurt him or not. Zayne sighs before grabbing your thighs and pulling you down. He got to work IMMEDIATELY. Firstly licking between your folds to lubricate you, making his perfect nose bump and slide against your clit. A few minutes later you were riding his face in earnest, moaning and screaming his name. He groaned as you tugged his hair, “more… faster please! Zayne!” Who is he to deny you?

𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑: 8/10 smooth calm ride that’ll put you to sleep!!

A little bit of a longer nose so you have more stimulation time, being as to it’ll take you longer to grind up and down. The tip is at a good height, making it reachable without him having to strain his neck. The width is a littleeee thin, but what he lacks in thickness he makes up for in height. He’s definitely an eater. You’d tell him that you had a bad day in your unit, and he’d immediately flop back on the bed and offer his face as a seat. He mistook your shock at his vulgarity for confusion, before uttering very cutely, “well, you like my nose, right?” That was enough for you tbh. Slowly, you steady yourself as you straddle his face. “Fucking god…” He’d moan as he started eating you like you were his last meal. A string of curses and moans spilled from your lips as he tongue fucked you. And then you felt it… his nose bumping up against your clit perfectly. It truly was a stress reliever. How lucky are you?

𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋: 0/10 nope!!

You bitches get nothing. I grinded for a ten draw and ended up getting fucking Fish Boy’s card so I’m taking this anger out on yall.

[uh-oh-its-bird]

There are so many naruto time travel fics out there but what I need SPECIFICALLY is an ANBU era team of Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi, and Shisui getting flung into the founders era.

Like. Ok just looking from the political side of it that's;

A) 2 very young and VERY powerful Uchiha's (one of which is the future clan head!! Politics!!)

B) A very fucked up baby mokuton user who's still in the middle of being deprogrammed and can totally pass for Senju

C) The free wild card that is Hatake clan lore on top of having a stolen sharingan. On top of *that* him being the team leader of a team of kids who, in the time period context, should both be at eachothers throats and probably not be expected to obey the commands of someone not only from another clan but a way smaller one

Theres SO much potential there!! So many political implications in virtually ALL of the directions!!!!

Yk what as I'm typing this out I'm having ✨️ideas✨️ so let's make some story points to sort those out:

• I think itd be neat to have this happen like. A year? Ish? Before the massacre? So age wise, and full disclaimer I'm referencing Google and Wikipedia rn so I could totally be wrong, I think that's :

Kakashi (18)

Tenzo (17)

Itachi (12)

Shisui (15)

Could be wrong about the ages but honestly it's my world you're just living in it, so.

Then me going totally purely off of my own headcannons, were going to say they came in a about a year before Izuna died and place the founders ages as:

Madara (23)

Hashirama (23)

Izuna (19)

Tobirama (18)

Big fan of Tobirama being the youngest between the 4 but projecting the aura of someone as old as like. Idk, however old Madara is. Very funny to me, 10/10

• I'm personally a big fan of dogteeth kakashi so we're running with that all the way home. Also a huge fan of the "Hatake's are a distant, more feral cousin of Inuzuka clan" hc along with some sprinklings of "back in the day they had a bit of a Reputation(tm) for being a 'lill wild, and everyone generally tries to avoid them. Which isn't too much of a problem because theyre a very small out of the way clan from Iron, they just have a big reputation in contrast to their size.

In more modern times tho, along with (obviously) having dwindled down to a single depressed teenager, they've become a lot tamer over the years due to village life. Kakashi is a Hatake, 100%, but he is NOT up to the standards of this time. Which becomes a bit funny when people see him, go "oh FUCK it's a Hatake" and then start edging slowly towards the door like he's about to rip their throat out with his teeth. Meanwhile he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️"am I that ugly."

Give me a scene where, finally used to this reaction to him from the general shinobi population, the team starts to use it to their advantage.

"Give us the scroll or we'll let the Hatake off the leash to have his fun with you. He's been awfully hungry latley you know, hasn't had fresh meat in days"

Kakashi, feeling kind of stupid, gave his best growl.

It caused an almost immediate, embaressed flush to rise to his face, but he didn't let up. It sounded more like an almost pathetic puppy growl than anything to his ears, but apparently it was enough to convince the trembling enemy nin because he slowly lifted the scroll up in offering.

Wow. Now he couldn't tell if he was embaressed for himself or for this guy.

Probably both to be honest.

• So like. Itachi is the clan heir. That's big. That's important. Let's do something with that.

First off, I had a great time reading this one fic (tho I don't even remember what the fic itself was about now, oops) where a plot point of it was how Sasuke is just a walking stereotype of main house Uchiha. Like people look at him and they don't just go "oh that's an Uchiha." They go "oh fuck that's an UCHIHA Uchiha." He's so fucking painfully, obviously related to the very tippy top of the clan that anyone not blind can tell. It's in the way he looks, it's in the way he talks and treats those around him, it's in the way he fucking holds himself. You look at him and every other stereotype about the Uchiha clan is there in big, bold letters. (On top of that he's also a dead wringer for Izuna, which I'm such a sucker for and desperatley wish people would do more with)

So like let's give that to Itachi here because it's so fun for several reasons.

First off; Sasuke in this is like. Straight up a doppelganger of Izuna, just a few generations apart. They could be twins. Itachi, as I'm sure you are aware, is Sasuke's big brother. So let's take some liberties and say that Itachi could absoloutley pass as a blood sibling to Izuna and Madara.

He is however 12, so we're also going to say that the only people who get to make this connection is anyone who's seen the siblings when they were also at a similar age.

On top of that however he has the 'walking amalgamation of all the stereotypes of the main Uchiha house' so anyone who isn't blind will look at him and assume he's somewhere in the sphere of 'important main house person' tho who really knows how distant the relation may be exactly. No one !! That's who !!!

Second; He's the fucking clan heir!! What the fuck!! This bit would have the most impact after all the messy time travel reveals when things have settled down a bit, so it'll sit in the back pocket for a bit. Save it for some fun shaking up later down the line so we don't run out of all the fun reveals too fast and bore the readers, yk?

When it is brought up tho it'd be fun to maybe have some fucky Itachi and Madara mutual understandings of the way things work.

• So. Madara is like a bit of a scary bed time story to Uchiha children, right? Like. "Ooo make sure you don't get too obsessive or fall too deep into your grief and always stay loyal to the village or you'll end up just like Madara!!"

Something something Uchiha-Village relationships are tense as hell, something something Madara fucking over a lot of the clan with his whole. Everything., Something something scapegoat and old stories, something something 'people have probably been talking a lot more about how "god dammit this all started with Madara" in recent years.'

Now with that in mind let's take a look of what our time travelers think of Madara:

Itachi is a good Konoha soldier. Itachi (as has been very much fucking proven) would rather beat a possible problem before it even exists with a hammer till it dies an ugly bloody death than even RISK it blossoming into a proper problem. Itachi does not like Madara. Itachi personally, quietly thinks they should maybe wait till the village is formed then carefully arrange a little accident for him before he goes off the rails. He, even more quietly, maybe even thinks it would be a kindness. Allow him to be remembered well by the village instead of scorned.

Shisui I think is cautiously optimistic about him. He's the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the doubt, who weighs the options, risk and reward, but includes things like hope and compassion in his calculations. Yes, Madara was a uhh. Thing. That happened. But in every story his big blow up always come from one specific event; Izuna's death. So if they stop that from happening, wouldn't it secure both a better future for them and Madara? The history books never went into detail about Izuna, he doesn't know what he's like, but maybe his involvement in the future, on Konoha's side, could lead to even more profits for them long term. At the end of the day he's not against killing Madara (though to be clear, they are at first operating on trying to avoid all interactions with historical events and return home without touching things) but it'd be nice, to manage to get a happy ending for everyone. Unrealistic maybe, but nice.

Mmmm hear me out actually, maybe Shisui, after interacting with him a bit, finds that Madara reminds him of Itachi too. They definatley both have that "I would do unspeakable things to even dream of my loved just one more time" energy, if you know what I mean

Anyways; Kakashi and Tenzo are both neutral on Madara. Yes, they learned about how he betrayed the village when young just like everyone else, but they weren't getting the bed time stories and "do this and you'll end up just like him" warnings like the Uchiha's. They're possibly leaning into negative but are detached from the situation enough to just go "well he hasn't done it yet and his brother is still alive so he won't any time soon" and be done with it

• Now, on the the total opposite side of the spectrum you have Hashirama and Tobirama. People are brought up in Konoha to fucking IDOLIZE these guys. You can not tell me our team of time travelers wouldn't be at least a little awed to speak with them.

I think Tenzo would be the most wide eyed about Hashirama, both for the baseline "holy shit that's the Shodai Hokage" and also that fun juicy mokuton user imposter syndrome he has going on for him. That guys DNA is inside his body!!! Holy shit wait does that mean if someone did a blood relation test with them he might read as being related to him?? Fuck were gonna pocket that for now but like. Mmmmm potential.

I'd say Itachi is the most hesitant about Tobirama but again, village loyalist, so.

You know what tho maybe Shisui is the most hesitant about him (though still largely positive) he both def grew up looking up to him but can also see the anti-Uchiha policies people inact now with the implications that Tobirama would have approved of it. He doesn't know if he would, but like, he has to wonder.

Kakashi is probably the most normal about them (and also has experience in being close to a hokage (Minato) to know that at the end of the day they are painfully human) Don't get me wrong, he's still in some sort of awe! He might get a little lightheaded at the thought of seeing the God of Shinobi in proper battle, or the possibility to see the famed genius of Tobirama with all the different jutsu's he's invented. You can't tell me Kakashi didn't spend a little extra time reading about him when he was trying to make Chidori. Honestly I'm gonna roll with that and say he had a bit of a phase as a kid where he was a total fan boy. Maybe sprinkle in the good old HalfHatake!Tobirama hc to add some faint daydreams a lonley babykashi had after his father's death, about getting to meet him as family. Like cmon, little genius idolizing and projecting on some big history figure only to find out they're actually related? Can you say potential?

Anyways he did eventually grow out of the phase, probably got unattached to it all and lost interest after the whole "losing everything he loved" bit of his life. And at the end of the day, he doesn't have any real complex personal hang ups on the founders like the others do. Thus, most normal.

• And then my favorite most special boy, Izuna !! He's for sure the one they're all most neutral about. He's not actually taught about in the academy? There's probably some throw away line about him in some history books somewhere, but he died young and was quickly buried by the looming shadow of Konoha. The only real knowledge had about him in modern times is just a vague "Yeah he got killed by Tobirama which lead to peace being made but also lead to Madara losing his shit"

Poor Izuna he's the linchpin for it all but was left an unremarkable footnote of history. My boy deserves so much better

Tenzo doesn't actually even know who he is, that boy got bare minimum education under Danzo and Izuna was NOT included.

Itachi and Shisui mmmaybe have some small little fun fact here or there buried in stories from the older members of the clans but like. It's gonna amount to just "yeah he had a great katon" and thats about it.

I WILL SAY HOWEVER. Itachi sees him and instantly is that one PTSD dog meme. Sasuke is a BABY but holy shit Izuna looks exactly like he'd expect him to grow up as and it's making him FEEL THINGS. Also he's so bratty little brother coded !! He's an entire 7 years older than Itachi but Ifachi keeps fucking up and trying to big brother him it's embaressing.

And ofc Itachi didn't go into the first meeting thinking he'd see some weird older mirror version of his beloved baby brother who he misses and worries about very very much. So like. There's for sure going to be some conflict there. If their first meeting is a scuffle (which it probably will be) I think Itachi would keep hesitating to attack. On full run away mode. Which is probably for the best bc he shouldn't try to fight Izuna anyways honey he's like double your bodyweight and you're strong but you aren't THAT strong.

• Pointing back at both the 'Itachi does not like Madara and has quiet thoughts about how it'd possibly be in everyone's interest to just kill him' and the 'Itachi and Madara quietly bond over being clain head/heir during stressful times (w pressure from the elders especially)

I can see 2 outcomes of a potential bonding conversation with them:

1) They come to understand eachother better.

Madara wants to be on good terms, he looks at this kid and sees one of his brothers eyes and the others quiet determination. He can tell Itachi doesn't like him for some reason, and it's frustrating because he doesn't know why. He wants him to like him. He wants to be able to offer his hand and have it taken. It hurts, to be looked at with such suspicion from a face that has traces of Izuna's.

Meanwhile Itachi . . . Itachi looks at Madara and he sees someone who gets it. Gets it like no one ever has. It scares him. He looks up at this man, this horror story he's been told to fear becoming, and he sees himself. And this realization shakes him. It makes him think, makes him wonder. He's so, so sure of his loyalty to Konoha. More sure than he is of anything else in the world. But . . . But if something happened to Sasuke, if he had to choose—

And maybe it softens something in him too, along with the (honestly healthy) dose of fear. It forms a little crack in his shell, just enough to maybe, maybe let Madara through. Just a hair.

Or 2) we pull one of those "The conversation ends with them agreeing verbally but mentally they're on 2 VERY different notes."

Madara, nodding and looking at Itachi meaningfully: "Yeah it can be hard, but all we can really do is try to make the world a safer place for the ones we love. (To create Konoha, to keep my clan safe. Izuna safe. And now to keep you safe too.)

Itachi, nodding slowly: "Yeah. No matter how hard it is (even though I think I understand you more than anyone else Ive ever met) we have to try to make the world a safer place (by killing you in your sleep once Konoha is formed) for the ones we love (My clan. My village. Sasuke.)"

• Also pointing back at the 'Hatake warring clan era reputation,' the 'Tobirama is half Hatake' and also now pointing at Tobirama's title as the White Demon. Small thing but it'd be neat if there was some small throw away line that the nickname lowkey started in part because of the absoloutley terrifying reputation of the Hatake combined with Tobirama's own Everything(tm) like it just had some influence on how some view him. Give me Uchiha's making dog jokes ab him it'll be funny

• Ok but now the actual plot thoughts. Yeah I know I kept you waiting sorry about that.

So time travel! Probably due to a mission gone wrong. Some ruins or some ancient crumbling scroll that wasn't even supposed to do fucking time travel but was so old and corroded that it somehow managed to transform into a whole other seal by pure bad luck. Or good luck I guess, considering it could have just turned into a nuke.

Our favorite team of disasters are very very alarmed !!! What the fuck !!! Obviously they don't default to thinking time travel, but they immediatley know something is wrong. The landscape has changed, though the big landmarks are still there. The mission was complete anyways with no injuries so they just retreat to Konoha. Only oops !! It's not fucking there!!!

Queue alarm.

Shisui is the first one to suggest time travel because he's quirky like that. And there's a very easy way to confirm this theory.

(Also we're going to say that Konoha's location is a valley a few miles out from the Naka River that borders the Senju / Uchiha territories.)

This is convenient because that verification method involves checking in on where Itachi and Shisui know the old Uchiha compound should rest.

They do it in full stealth mode, the second they saw Konoha was missing Kakashi as team leader decided they'd treat the land as enemy territory. They all agreed ofc, for all they knew this WAS enemy territory now.

And, ofc, yeah!! There's the old Uchiha compound!! Being active!!! There are people there!!!

"What are the odds Fugaku-sama decided to have the clan return to their homeland for ahh, cultural enrichment?" Kakashi asked weakly.

"Time travel." Was the only reply he got from Shisui, whispered reverently as the boy vibrated with excitement on the branch.

Itachi just gave him a look, radiating a level of dissaproving disbelief that no normal 12 year old should be able to make. Kakashi would know, he was that not-normal 12 year old once.

From there they decide a no interference policy. Hands off guys!! They probably debate it tho, like, a good amount. They all have ✨️opinions✨️ except maybe Tenzo who's lowkey still in the middle of trying to learn how to be a person and is following Kakashi's lead 99% of the time. Especially since they're still in mission mode and this is like a super serious discussion and he really does know the least ab the founders overall.

They probably debate the merits of going to Uzushiogakure bc seal help but it's really far and they don't actually have like, just any leverage with them. They already decided not to fuck with the future so it isn't like they can trade secrets and warnings. At least if shit happens here they have some plausible deniability, being, yk, 2 uchiha's and a senju-passing guy with Mokuton. Kakashi's kinda fucked tho in that regard but he isn't going to be doing the party ANY favors with his clan heritage.

Which means it's time to potentially get desperate enough to interact with Tobirama !!! Which will inevitably lead to them bumping into a Uchiha patrol or something!!! I don't know honestly

• Anyways want Hashirama and Tenzo to interact. He has so many issues like holy shit. Let Hashirama give him the hug he deserves. I want him to violently adopt him. New brother acquired!!!

I said before but Tenzo is still reprogramming from ROOT. Let Hashirama impact that! Let him help! They can make flower crowns and photosynthesize together idk

Hashirama would be so happy to have another mokuton user, I think they should be able to sense eachother extra strong and like 'ping' off of eachothers chakra, it'll be fun

▪︎ I'm not thinking toooo hard about power scaling and this is fanfiction so a) don't quote me on this and b) for the love of all that is holy don't take my words as gospel

But for this fic specifically I'm ranking the founders and Team Ro, weakest to strongest (in a clean, fair fight head on w no time to prepare) :

Itachi (he's fucking 12 guys. But also he is like. FRACTIONS under Tenzo and Shisui. If he were 13 I'd let him be above or at the same level but like. He's 12. Cmon.)

Tenzo - Shisui (they're like JUST under the next 2 tho like seconds behind)

Izuna - Tobirama

Kakashi ( by the skin of his fucking teeth and the advantage that is his stupid amount of jutsu's and lack of self preservation)

Madara - Hashirama

And again that's not counting like. The specific situations, time given to prepare, potential dirty tricks they could play (I think the Konoha tricks would play a fraction dirtier than the others, who are slightly more used to big open battles vs the ANBU squad who does all sorts of shit in all sorts of places) plus like. Mental state and team ups.

Tenzo or Shisui couldn't take down Izuna or Tobirama but if they teamed up I'd allow it. Kakashi would get his ass kicked by Hashirama or Madara but he could survive a minutes longer than the others would

Itachi is doing his best

But like

He's 12 guys

I love him and he is terrifyingly competent but he won't win 1 on 1 with anyone unless he has some sort of advantage. Minus Shisui and Tenzo who he does have the advantage of regularly fighting, so.

• I think they do get to go back home in the end. It takes a ton of work tho and they probably do need to get Mito's help with it, Kakashi can show them the seal they got brought here with but it's an ACTUAL one in a trillion miracle it didn't fucking atomize them. So it needs a lot of touch ups

Anyways !!!

I have a little more rattling around in my brain but I'm really tired and also starting to think about other things now so I'm gonna stop here. Might come back and add to it later so stay tuned if you're into that

Full disclaimer I'm not gonna write this. I don't have the proper energy and it'd probably end up being too ambitious of a project if I tried. I'd love to see it happen tho, so like !! Big open invitation to absoloutley anyone who might want to take even a fraction of the ideas I've listed.

@ me if you do tho I wanna see the final product

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Simmpy Boys Lucifer, Vox, Adam

Headcanon's

Lucifer

CAPITAL SIMP. Mans is a Certified Lover Boy. He will do whatever you want and need

Bat your eyes at something you want it's bought. Talk about something once, and you have it. Think about anything; no worries.

He is a big softie and so shy at first, but the minute you two are official, he is in love.

You could do basically no wrong. He does have his views and morels, but mostly, he is just what you say goes.

He is even more of a Simp if you and Charlie are close; something makes his heart sore when you and his child are good friends.

He will give you the best days ever. Each day is a new challenge to wow you more than the next. He refuses to let you live an unhappy eternity.

Vox

He is a simp for sure,,, but he is the most subtle simp between the other two.

He grew up old school, so he isn't going to openly showcase to others his deep affection for you.

However, in private, you are a God or Goddess. He will have gifts galore waiting for you, his credit card also has your name on it, and he makes sure you don't have to work a day in your life unless you want to.

If you want to work, he wants you to be with him so he can see your concentrated faces. He finds it adorable and will gush about it to you.

He likes your outfits at the bare minimum to match color-wise. However, he will wear the same outfits unashamedly on vacations or at home.

He loves to cook for you, though high life is excellent: you two in the kitchen singing and dancing while the food's going just hit differently.

Adam

This man simps in the most casual way possible, and it almost looks like he isn't, but underneath, he is.

If you don't like his derogatory comments, you are the only one he doesn't say them to.

If you really like that one outfit at the store, he will tell you no, only to go back three days later and get it. He will then try to convince you that you bought it yourself.

Makes your food or buys you food; has the whole 'no, I was just hungry and, on total accident, got too much and offered it only to you' every time.

You need to be where he can touch you with a hand: on the arm, thigh, or lower back all acceptable places. He has to be touching and holding you.

Loves to do grooming care together, you sitting on the bed relaxing while he brushes your hair. Vice versa, with you preening his wings.