#feeling stupid due to not being able to think under pressure

[furiousgoldfish]

This is something I experienced as a child, that I don't fully understand yet, but it contributed greatly to me feeling like my parents are right and I must be stupid. I want to know if this happened to everyone else.

So there would be times when I would be under immense pressure from the abusers, and they would try to force me to understand a concept, but mostly by shaming me and yelling at me for not getting it and repeating some kind of, very general and non-explanatory claim that apparently should have been enough for me to get it. But I could not, in my brain, make a connection, I'm not sure if it was because at the moment I was terrified, pressured, ashamed and threatened, or if I was too young to figure it out. Sometimes my mind would go completely blank and I would not be able to take in new information at all, even though I desperately wanted to understand.

However, years later, I would remember that same thing, but now I had more context about it, more knowledge that surrounds it, more ideas on how things work, and even without thinking about it more, I would suddenly understand what they were talking about. I don't know if it's the additional knowledge of the world that would help me put it together, or if it was brain development, or something else.

I had a similar problem at school, where sometimes things would be explained generally, and I just didn't understand it, I couldn't see the process of how the thing worked, and it was being said like it was something easy to understand, that I should have figured out instantly, and other kids seemed to get it. It left me permanently confused and worried that I must be somehow stupider than anyone else.

But, again years later, when I ran away from the abusers, I looked at the same concept and it made perfect sense instantly, and I didn't know how I couldn't make sense of it earlier.

Nobody had ever bothered to sit down and explain anything to me, even in school I was expected to have basic knowledge and build up on it. But growing up abused meant the most simple concepts were not explained; instead parents would say whatever suited them most was the truth, or tell me to stop being annoying with my questions, and I was left in the dark over the inner function of, pretty much anything. Sometimes, even when I did learn something at school and came home with the new knowledge, they would decide that it was trivial, wrong, unnecessary, and simply false. Which also made learning harder because I had to question everything, at all times.

Not being able to understand what others could instantly made me believe that I was in fact, stupid, and it made it more difficult to believe my own senses, my own conclusions, it made it difficult for me to know that my own thoughts, opinions and conclusions had any value at all. I often ignored my own instincts and senses and took for granted what others told me, which later often proved to be false, and just manipulative misinformation.

After escaping abuse, my mind cleared up and I don't know if I can attribute it to my brain finishing its development, but things are now extremely easy to understand, and any concept I struggled with before, comes naturally to me. I think at least a part of it had to be about me being in fight-or-flight mode and whatever brainpower I had fully focused on staying alive. I could not figure out some concept that made no sense to me in such a state. I also think it's possible that I just lacked so much general knowledge, I lacked references to put those ideas into context, I could not connect the knowledge to anything I've seen or experienced before, because I had no experienced that many things, but other kids have, so they could make the connection.

I'm also suspecting that maybe, general and vague descriptions of things were something I rejected because I needed to understand something in depth in order to feel like I am familiar with it, if I only had the wide general idea, I still counted it as 'not knowing', until I had some intimate experiences with inner workings of it. And with more life lived, I had more experiences, and became familiar in a way that made me confident about understanding it.

Did anyone else have a similar experience, and do you maybe understand why it happens this way?

[pinkusmaximus]

Sis! Now I need a full on fic for Logan x Fem!Reader x Wade with the whole pregnancy thing! I love the trio and I can just see Logan’s wheels always turning, trying to pin point the scent difference, why he’s so touchy and clingy. Then when it comes out both men are 10 x more clingy! Dotting on their woman hand and foot, taking care of her when she’s sick or hurting from the added weight and her symptoms. I can see one of them standing behind her and they just put their hands under her belly and they just lift it up some to relieve the pressure on her and she’s just IMMENSELY relieved

Oh, I’m not sure if I’m in a state for a full fic right now (I work and when I’m not working I’m in school) but I can elaborate more for sure!

🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀🩷🎀

You would absolutely be the most spoiled, protected pregananant person in the world. In fact, they’d have to start taking turns with missions, because one of them would need to be at home with you at all times from the moment it’s confirmed by your doctor. Not that you really needed the confirmation, with the way Logan lives with his face pressed into your neck the moment it clicks for him that the lovely warm scent that mixed with your usual sweetness and lingered after you were long gone is due to the little life inside you.

Wade is a lot more hesitant at first. He’s overwhelmed with how happy he feels at the news, and that alone is enough to scare him. Logan’s too caught up in his protective instincts to think logically about the fact that you really are in quite a dangerous situation, but Wade’s all too attuned to the myriad of ways you and the baby could be hurt because of them and the lifestyle they’ve chosen. You’ll never see him so cautious. He comes home with less injuries than ever (though not insignificant, but it’s Wade), not wanting to cause you any undue stress after he reads how bad stress can be on you and the baby (because yes, he’s secretly started hoarding a stash of pregnancy books and magazines from the moment he saw those two blue lines).

And trust me, the moment that you start to show, things will only amp up from there. That’s when reality starts to set in— this is happening. They’re going to be dads.

Now that Logan has an explanation for his odd behaviors from before, it becomes much easier to manage them for the three of you. You and Wade understand his instinctual need to keep you close, so you start to mind it less when he gently tugs you over to him in his lounge chair from the couch, keeping his broad hands over the expanse of your belly and his head on your shoulder where he can keep that comforting aroma in his senses. It also means that it’s easier for him to allow you to relax with Wade, his instincts now accepting Wade as a fellow protector, rather than a threat.

Wade loves laying his head on your stomach for as long as he’s physically able to, your hands lovingly caressing his head as he talks to the baby about anything and everything, for as long as you’ll let him go on— or until he falls asleep, feeling a deep sense of comfort from being so close to you and the baby. Every other sentence is punctuated by enthusiastic kisses to your growing roundness, slowly becoming softer and more tender as his rambling shifts from making up stupid nicknames for the unborn child and telling them all the ridiculous ways he’s going to teach them to get into trouble, to soft murmurs of how good of a parent you’re going to be, how much he already loves them, how he can’t wait to see Logan act like a real daddy, how he can’t wait to be their daddy, too. And once you’re too big for him to lay his head down, he’ll just rest his head on your thighs instead, dotingly rubbing his hands all over stomach, tracing your stretch marks with his fingertips and admiring your physical and mental strength for carrying their child.

When you get to spend time with both of them, it’s usually on the couch or in bed now. You’re exhausted all the time, so lucky you that you’ve got two men who would never let your feet touch the ground if that’s what it took to keep you happy. You’re always laying with your head in someone’s lap, having your hairline lightly brushed by soothing fingertips, your feet and calves massaged by strong hands. You’ve always got someone to run and get you what you’re craving, someone to help you shower when you can’t see your feet anymore, someone to hold you when you’re crying because your hormones are too much and you’re thinking too much about the impending pains of birth. Bonus, that also means you’ve got two hands to crush in your death grip when you need it— and you don’t have to worry about breaking their bones.

A pregnancy with Wade and Logan may be tumultuous in some ways, but in all the ways that count, you couldn’t ask for a more perfect family.

[xalicitie]

Unwarranted Thoughts — Kaz Brekker (smut)

You’re a new member of Kaz’s gang of crows. You and your boss share a cryptic relationship which neither of you seem to understand how to approach, but within one night in which you attend to a dire wound Kaz receives in battle, the two of you discover your true feelings for each other.

This is only the first half of the story, I’m posting this to see if it actually gets any attention and whether I really want to post it cause I’ve never actually posted smut in my life. If it gets enough response I’ll post part 2

"Sit down here."

Kaz had a hand pressed tautly against the detrimental wound pulsating at his ribcage; blood was melting through his clothes as he stumbled into the seat. You were beginning to hurriedly gather the loosely placed medical supplies along the countertops—scrambling, to say the least. It was rare for Kaz to get injured in battle like this in battle, it sparked a panic hotter than Hell in your chest.

"You're bleeding badly." You said as you placed your hands under the running water of the sink. "Take your shirt off."

Kaz, without a word, followed your orders. Although the command did catch him off guard, he followed through without a thought.

Fleetingly, you rinsed your hands and dried them, then sped to Kaz's side, spilling all kinds of tools onto the table adjacent.

Upon facing back to your boss, It took you quite the moment to realize that he was already shirtless. The shame at your involuntarily wandering eyes set in quickly as you turned your focus to his wound.

It was nasty. A successful sword strike—any further into his core and you might've not been able to fix him up in time.

"How the hell did you get this?" You asked, splitting the silence as you grabbed a large cloth.

"I was caught off guard. Stupid bandits pulled an ambush." You quirked a brow, hoping to distract him as you readied the cloth before the wound. His chest heaved, and you just couldn't seem to decipher whether your thundering heartbeat was due to the direness of the situation or the picture of Kaz Brekker shirtless.

You scolded yourself for even considering such a thing at such a moment.

"Ready yourself. I'm going to apply pressure to the wound." You warned.

"Hurry up and get it over with." He said with a low voice.

You did just that. The moment you enforced pressure onto his side, he breathed a pained groan, eyebrows furrowed as his hands clasped the side of the chair. You tried not to think at all as you continued to try and stop the bleeding.

After such treacherous few minutes, you pulled the cloth, dripping with Kaz's blood—a grotesque sight—to see his wound had just barely stopped producing blood.

"Okay, stay with me." You looked up to your boss to see a tired, pained expression. You could see his unwillingness to completely show you that he was suffering just threading his mien, but the pain seemed to be just enough to tear through most of his armor. "Are you okay?" You asked.

"Yes. Fine." He spat quickly, harshly. "Just, keep on going."

Throughout the whole process of healing his wound, all during it you never seemed to get habituated to the sight of his bare chest. You never thought you'd live to see him so vulnerable, it was certainly novel, to say the least.

Still, you completely forced denial unto your filthy thoughts. Even if they lingered there, watching his muscles heave and move with his breaths, the twitch of his face at the pain, you told yourself they did not exist. You scolded to yourself that it was shameful to conjure up such nasty thoughts at a time like this.

"Okay." You concluded after such tense silence. The wound was cleaned and ready to be covered, and Kaz was still alive. Thank the Saints.

"Can you sit up?" You asked, and Kaz nodded. You were just about to lend a hand before he starting grudgingly lifting himself up on his own. You knew he wouldn't accept your help.

Every rise of his chest, the more your thoughts roused and resisted being denied. The more your heartbeat gained acclimation again, your lips parting, watching as his brunette hair fell before his face, eyes hidden in a shadow, only the lightest of his blue eyes apparent. You knew the look of him right now would be stuck in your mind for the coming weeks.

If Kaz saw you right now, oh you didn't dare let him get a peak of your disorientation right now. You spoke quickly to hide your adoring face. "Hold still. This is going to take a second."

With a muttered "mhm", you kneeled down before him to get closer to his wound.

You were so utterly sinful. As you wrapped the linen bandage around his waist, each little contiguity, each little brush of the skin brought you filthier thoughts. You grasped for control, and just barely—after a torturously long moment—you fixed the bandage around his wound.

"Okay, you're good." You said with finality. Kaz nodded at you, and the moment you thought it was over you began putting the supplies away. You wanted get as far away from this little crush on your newly appointed boss as possible.

"Y/n." You froze and turned back to Kaz at the sound of your name, now finally donned in his vest again. "You've been hurt, too."

His eyes led you to the cut that had been bothering you for awhile. It was just at you lower side, sitting just below your breast.

"Oh, it's..nothing." You brushed off, hoping to settle for some good rest. You began to walk back over to the supplies when Kaz called for you once more.

"Don't think you're leaving here without that being properly bandaged." Oh, Saints. "It could get infected."

There was no way out of this. You sighed audibly, relenting at his wish, more so command.

You sauntered slowly over to the chair as Kaz leisurely climbed out of it, allowing you to sit atop, as he just had done before. Kaz began again gathering the supplies while you sat, wary of what was to come. The cut was placed at a certainly tricky place.

Moments passed and he had the supplies together. His gaze fell upon your apprehensive one. You felt yourself tense at his undivided attention. "Lift up your shirt."

Your lips fell agape at the sudden words. Breathing pattern hectic once again, you followed through with his command just somehow.

Kaz slowly walked over to you. He held a wet cloth in his gloved hand, and as he approached, the air between the two of you thickened so much you felt it, each inch, as it sat between you and your boss. You were absolutely disheveled, eyes not knowing where to look.

The sensation of the cloth hitting your cut made you cringe and seethe out a strained breath. You heard his breaths, each one, one after the other, as he scrutinized you.

..You were so close.

The silence was grating and horribly tense.

You and Kaz looked at each other, and for a moment it seemed he were having the same thoughts.

Then, as each one of your filthy dreams went, you watched in utter disbelief as Kaz Brekker leaned his head in towards yours. As his unoccupied, right, gloved hand traveled towards the nave of your neck, you melting below him, moving towards him meekly. Still with no idea what was happening.

Yours and Kaz's lips hovered not even an inch before each other, both your eyes closed, relishing in the moment. Your chest fell and rose, cheeks burning, everything ablaze.

Is this a dream?

Part 2 is up!

[virginsexgod69]

1| A Cabin in the Woods

summary Daryl comes across your cabin during a storm and ends up staying

pairing Daryl Dixon x f!Reader

cw use of guns, gunshot wounds, probably some medical inaccuracies

1.6k words

series masterlist

 The heavy rain soaked Daryl to the bone. He was shivering and in desperate need for shelter, at least until the rain stopped. The trees in the forest provided no protection from the elements and in these conditions, building a lean-to to sleep under for the night was out of the question. He continued to trudge through the mud, his crossbow at the ready as he watched out for walkers. Giving up wasn’t an option, although he did feel hopeless. His home was destroyed, he was separated from his friends, friends who he wasn’t even sure were still alive, and then on top of all that, Beth got taken. 

 He wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him, but he saw a dim light not too far ahead. With the rain heavily pouring, it was difficult for him to see any tracks, which would have been helpful for him to determine if he was about to approach a place where people were already residing. It was a dangerous risk to take, but it could reap worthwhile results, so he followed the light until it led him to a cabin. The only plausible reason for light to be coming from the cabin was that someone was inside. Other people were far too dangerous these days, he wasn’t going to risk it. However, the opportunity to change his mind was taken from him when he felt a searing pain in his upper thigh. He knew what it was immediately, the pain feeling all too familiar, he had been shot. 

“Drop your weapon,” he assumed the shooter said. He didn’t want to disarm himself, but he wasn’t even able to spot the person who shot him. He’d be at a disadvantage if he didn’t comply with the commands. He slowly lowered his crossbow to the ground and raised his hands in surrender. Finally, he was able to get a good look at you when you approached to take his weapon, your gun still pointed at him. Through the darkness and rain, he couldn’t get a good look at you, but he could feel the coldness of your piercing glare. 

“What’re you doing ‘round here?” Your tone demanded an answer and he didn’t feel like fucking around and finding out what would happen if he didn’t give you one. 

“Was lookin’ for shelter. Didn’ know anyone was out here til jus’ now,” he replied evenly. 

“Did I shoot you?” You asked. 

“No shit,” he replied, thinking your question was stupid. 

“Well, excuse me,” you snarked. “That was meant to be a warning shot, but it’s kinda hard to see in this rain.”  He felt a little relieved that you weren’t deliberately trying to harm him, but couldn’t fully relax while staring down the barrel of your gun. You uncocked it and put it in your belt. 

“You can stay in my cabin til the rain stops, but only if you surrender all your weapons.” 

“Fine.” He didn’t want to stay in this rain for a moment longer, especially since he was now injured. He followed you into the cabin, hobbling slightly due to his injury. Once he was inside the lit cabin, he was able to get a good look at you. Your gaze was cold and guarded, but he could tell you were remorseful, at least a little bit. He touched his wounded thigh and looked at his fingers, now covered in his blood. 

“Want me to take a look at that?” You asked. He didn’t like the irony of the person who shot him possibly being the one tending to his wound, so he refused. 

“Nah. I got it.” You raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, but didn’t insist on anything. “If you say so. I’ll go get some towels and my first aid kit. Don’t try anything funny or dirty my furniture while I’m gone.” He rolled his eyes once your back was turned, annoyed as to why anyone would care about keeping furniture clean during a damn apocalypse. When you came back, you were in different, dry clothes with a towel wrapped around your head. 

“Here.” You tossed a towel at him and he immediately used it to apply pressure to his bleeding wound. He could feel you intently watching him as he pressed the towel, now saturated with his blood, to his thigh. You tossed him another and he quickly switched them out. 

“You sure you don’t want me to take a look?” He hated the pity lacing your voice. You had some audacity to pity him as if you weren’t the one who put him in this situation in the first place. 

“You a damn doctor or somethin’?” He snapped, growing frustrated with your hovering. 

“Never mind, you got it.” You placed the first aid kit beside were he was sitting on the floor and sat down on your couch before opening a book and reading. He was grateful to finally be left alone and continued his attempt to stop the bleeding. He checked underneath the towel and saw that it stopped. Upon closer examination, he saw that it was just a graze. He opened the first aid kit and cleaned the wound with the alcohol wipe in there. It needed stitches, but because of where it was on his thigh, he’d be unable to do them himself. He glanced up at you and you were already looking at him from over your book, hiding a smug look. 

“Everything okay?” You asked. He just grunted in response, not wanting to ask for your help after he was so adamant on refusing it. Even though it would take more time, his wound would heal without stitches, so he just bandaged it as is. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you close your book and set it down. You grabbed his bloody towels, left, then came back with a few fresh ones. 

“Dry yourself off. Don’t need you catchin’ a cold.” You tossed him the towels and he caught them and began to dry himself. 

“You can sleep up here. I’ll give back your weapons when you leave.” You turned off the lights, but let the fire place burn, which Daryl appreciated since he needed to warm up. 

…

When you awoke in the morning, the rain was still harshly beating against your window. You slid out of bed and got dressed before walking into the living room. The sight of a man in dark clothing sitting on the floor of your cabin scared you. You had forgotten about what happened last night. He glanced in your direction, but didn’t say anything. He leaned against the hearth of the stone fireplace with a hand held to his injured leg. 

“How’s the leg?” You asked. You hoped he was doing better for the sake of him leaving soon, but you doubted it. The wound was pretty deep and you didn’t see him stitch it, so he’d be lucky if it didn’t start bleeding again at the slightest movement. You would’ve gladly helped him had he asked, but you felt he was being rude, so you refused to offer your services again that night. 

“Fine.” You could tell that wasn’t all true. His skin looked pale and his forehead glistened with sweat. 

“I’m no doctor, but you don’t look okay. Like at all.” You couldn’t help the smirk that tugged on the corners of your mouth as he frowned at you. 

“Lemme just take a look. I wouldn’t wanna wake up to some dead stranger wanderin’ around my house tryna eat me,” you joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. Today was a new day and the least you could do was help him out. After all, he wouldn’t even be here had you not shot him. You picked up the first aid kit from the floor where he left it yesterday and sat down beside him on his injured side. He extended his leg toward you and you gave him a small smile in return. The tear in his pants from the gunshot was large enough to where you didn’t need to remove any clothing. You took off the old bandage and examined the wound it was fairly deep. 

“This definitely needs stitches,” you informed him as you rummaged through the kit for sutures. He brought his thumb to his mouth and nibbled on the skin surrounding the nail, but nodded his head in approval anyway. You cleaned the wound and unpackaged the sutures. 

“What’s your name anyway?” You asked while threading the needle. 

“Daryl,” came his reply. In return, you told him your name. You pinched his skin together and stuck the needle through it. You weren’t sure how to sew an injured person’s flesh back together, so you just did what felt right. 

“How’d you find my cabin, Daryl?” You tied the thread, bringing together the two sides of the wound then cut it before starting the next suture. 

“Jus’ came across it yesterday.” You repeated the process and finished the second stitch before starting the third. 

“Why were you outside in a storm yesterday?” 

"This a damn interrogation or somethin'?" he hissed instead of answering the question. To tell the truth, you were interrogating him; one, because you wanted to find out more about the strange man in your home and two, to distract him from the pain of you sewing his skin. 

"I'm just making conversation," you told the half-truth. 

"Got separated from my group a while back. I was out lookin' for em and got caught up in the rain. S'that what you wanna know?"  You didn't respond and instead focused on tying the last knot. You placed a bandage over the stitched up wound and cleaned up your materials. 

"Looks like you'll be stuck with me for a little while longer," you commented as you watched the rain come down even harder than it was last night. His only reply came in the form of a displeased grunt. 

Next Chapter ►

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[kiwiraccoon]

Read To Me

Yunho x reader

Description: your roommate Yunho comes to your room complaining of not being able to sleep and sees that you’re reading, prompting him to ask you to read to him. Little did he know what kind of book you were reading.

Word Count: 1609

Warnings: MDNI, suggestive, mature language (if any more I should put please let me know)

part two

Subconsciously your feet were rubbing together in anticipation for what words you knew you would be reading soon. Your body couldn’t help but keep moving to try and bring any form of pressure against itself anywhere. Reading was supposed to help you wind down for the night but you just happened to pick up a book that did the exact opposite and you couldn’t put it down. Even if you had been reading for a solid five hours and the sounds of your roommate playing video games had entirely died down.  

You had just read a teasing chapter that left you wanting more, and nothing would stop you from continuing on. At least that’s what you had thought until you heard a soft knock come from your door that you almost missed if it weren’t for the song ending and moving on to the next. Being so wrapped up in your imagination you didn’t even think about the contents of the book when you had called out, “come in.” Your eyes didn’t even leave the pages as it was normal for your roommate to come to your room when he couldn’t sleep.

It only started a week into living together when you wandered to his door and stood there thinking if it would be weird to get some help sleeping. Turns out you both struggled to sleep alone at night and now it was almost routine. 

The bed dipped under his weight and you already knew his feet were hanging over the edge due to his height that very much towered over your own. His face as usual hid into your pillows until your attention would go to him and close your book. After ten minutes of waiting Yunho lifted his head thinking you were upset with him, but when he saw just how entrapped you were with the words in front of you his curiosity got the best of him. 

You didn’t even flinch when his head moved to lay on your stomach facing away from the book to look at you. You could feel his eyes watching how focused you were, but again nothing could stop you from fulfilling your desire to read those words that got to you in more ways than one.

“Read to me.” His voice finally broke your focus, and your wide eyes met his slightly tired looking ones. You had to admit he looked like a tired puppy that you just wanted to scoop up and kiss all over, but only if he was actually a puppy. You flicked your eyes from his and back to the book realizing he meant to read this book in your hands to him. This made your heart race.

“It’s not that good.” You went to close the book, not forgetting the bookmark you always held against the cover while you read, but you were stopped by Yunho. He quickly moved to keep the book open, he knew you were lying.

His pointed stare told you that much, “you can’t lie to me, I saw how intense you looked. Read to me, please.”

Saying no to him would be like kicking a puppy, and animal cruelty was not anything you stood for. But you also refused to corrupt such a sweet and gentle giant, so you were left contemplating everything. “Let me get another book.” You moved to get up but again you were stopped as Yunho grabbed the book from you and wrapped his other arm around your waist to keep you on the bed. 

“If you don’t read it to me, I will come into you room when you’re out and read it myself, or I’ll just look it up when you’re not around. So you might as well just read it to me.” Suddenly he didn’t look so tired, no, now he looked wide awake wanting know just what it was that stole your attention away from him. And if you were honest with yourself you would admit that the way he was so intrigued by what was capturing your attention made your heart flutter and those stupid butterflies act up.

Instead of fighting him anymore you opened the book fully and sat up a slight amount to allow him to lay against your thighs instead. “If I read this to you, you have to promise not to laugh at me.” You said looking over the top of the book at him while you waited for him to get comfortable again. He looked at you with a look you knew all too well, ‘seriously?’

He waisted no more time in laying down facing you once again and laying a free hand against your stomach, his warm hand bringing even more warmth to your core. It wasn’t like you never admitted you were attracted to him over the past five months of living together. You knew it the second he moved in, and you had known each other for years since your parents were friends. It would be weird to ruin a life long friendship just based on attraction, but you knew that was a lie. He had been your crush for years, always being the person to be there for you during hard times and making you smile. You both were able to just be yourselves no judgment ever, it would have been weird if you didn’t gain a crush on him.

Letting a sigh leave your lips you looked back at the words and realized exactly where you left off, a spark of anxiety quickly spread through your veins. Not wanting to deal with his insistence anymore you read,

“My nerves and veins felt alive with electricity and fire all at once, both bringing that painful yet pleasureful feeling directly to every nerve ending on my body. It all came from just his touch alone, but this was more intense, more filling, more needing. I need him. Not just around me, not just talking to me, no, I need him with me, in me, on me, touching me. God, I need him, just like this. Slipping his warm hand under my shirt, placing kisses along my skin, holding me close but not close enough. Reaching deep within my core without even scratching the surface. I have never felt this need so strong before, never so unobtainable that it physically hurts. Please just have me however you want. Pleasure me in ways my mind could never even imagine. Handle me in ways my body has never felt before. Touch me in ways that makes my body feel disconnected. Ruin me. Please just ruin me.”

You could feel the way Yunho pushed harder against your skin, even sliding your shirt up to place the skin of his hands against the skin of your stomach. He was listening so intently that you’re sure he thought you were saying those words to him, and you didn’t mind.

“I felt the way his kisses got more intense against the skin of my stomach, how did I not notice he left my throat? He was making my mind foggy and dumb without doing anything but kissing me and leaving kisses here and there. He knew it, his cocky smirk told me so. And yet I still let those sounds of pleasure leave my mouth to egg him on. I wanted, no, I needed more. I need it all. I waited so long, I can not wait anymore. Please just fuck me already.” A gasp left your mouth as you felt Yunho shift to place kisses against your stomach, you didn’t expect him to do anymore than just touch you. It’s all you’ve ever done with each other, slight comforting touches.

It wasn’t long before Yunho looked up at you from his place and whispered so quietly, “keep reading to me.” The look in his eyes made your thighs push together unconsciously, and you could tell he knew his effect on you by that mimicking smirk on his face. He was taking the book seriously.

A gulp from your throat sounded before you carried on, “he could read my mind, I know it. He used his other hand to slide up my thigh, leaving that trail of white hot pleasure in its wake. The act alone made a puddle form between my legs, I want him so bad. He knows it.” Yunho does exactly as the book reads slipping his hand underneath the blanket to slide up the side of my bare leg. “Yun?”

“Keep reading.” He insisted, not stopping his small kisses against your skin.

“His fingers slipped beneath the hem of my shorts, jolting a feeling through my body I haven’t felt in years. He did it again and again. Until he felt my hips move on their own and that’s when he finally locked eyes with me. Oh the desire in his eyes, the way he drank in my expression at his actions. He was enjoying this.” Unconsciously my body copied the book, rocking my hips slightly and praying Yunho couldn’t feel it.

“Look at me.” He says, the gentle dominance in his voice brings your eyes directly to his, and your breathe leaves you instantaneously. You had never seen that look on his face before, the fire within those puppy eyes you adore. Why does he want to act out this book? Does he feel the way about you, the same way you do about him? Does he want you? Do you need him? 

“Yunho.” You say, and the desperation in your voice would have made you cringe had it not been in this situation. 

“Put the book away, let’s write our own story tonight.”

[kairithemang0]

Do you think Curt and Owen had a relationship as deep as it went with each other before they met

i don't 100% get the question (it's late and i'm helvetica coded/ref) but I'll try to understand as much as possible!

i don't think they ever had a relationship ever as close as what they had. Certainly not romantic or sexual. I think the closest Curt ever had was his friendship with tatiana, even then I don't think she could ever fill the void that was left by Owen. Owen was everything, he was a god. He was an amazing spy, an amazing partner, he was the only person Curt had because he was the only one Curt could talk to about his feelings on his queerness, which I think for a long time controlled him due to internalized homophobia he never truly got over. she was able to be a friend, Curt was able to talk to her, but she could never fill that emotional need of Curt wanting to be wanted by someone. I think that's why he even attempted anything in Doing This, apart from pressure, but also the sliver of hope he'll suddenly like her. He's opened up to her, he shared what happened with Owen, a topic he's kept under lock and key for 4 long years. All he needs is to be attracted to her and now she's an alive version of Owen, well, someone he can have a relationship with. Tatiana can't fill that void for Curt, he's frustrated by this for a moment but gets over it quickly. I think he accepts the fact there will never be a "new Owen" in his life because Owen was his world, he was all Curt felt he needed, his affection, his praise, his everything. Owen was the glue that kept Curt together, he kept him from being a dumbass and making bad decisions, he held Owen's opinion to the highest regard. Letting him down is something Curt never wants to do, and yet when he did it got Owen killed.

Owen's left scars on Curt, scars that wouldn't fade even after Owen was gone. No one could fill the gaps in Curt's heart that were left by Owen because they were brutally torn out of him by his own stupidity and ego. There's no "new relationship" for Curt

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

I have so much feels regarding Miriel and Feanor. If my mother, whom I love dearly and gave her life for me to live, were stated as being allowed to be reembodied but the only thing standing in her way of being able to is the fact that my father was a horny pos who wanted to fuck this blond bimbo and have babies with her, therefore depriving my mother of her chance at life FOREVER. I too would be resentful and full of hate for anything and everything that represented their Union and my mothers sundering from me.

Finwe and Indis are both in the wrong. He was so young when they wed and had Findis, he barely had time to process his mothers death, however temporary it may have been for an elf in Valinor, but then his dad went “hey so uh, I really want to have more kids and in order for me to do that your mother would have to stay dead forever! YOLO!” I would feel so much resentment not only to him but the other person who was responsible for this. He obviously couldn’t blame his dad, the only living parent he has, so he projects all his loathing and resentment of his father to Indis and her children and their children afterwards. Because how can he hate the last living parent he has when there’s a perfectly good target for all that pent up rage within sight that would not make him an orphan twice over?

You might object by saying that “one year of the year if the trees is like 10 sun years!!! He was perfectly grown!!! He should get over it!!!” But I ask you. How would you feel if your mother, who you either never had a chance to know or knew only sparingly when she was bed ridden died and your father took away her chance of being reunited with you? My father died of his own folly and stupidity and still I miss him to this day, if I lost my mother too I would be devistated beyond words, and we’re HUMAN. We know we only have one shot at life and no chance of reuniting with those who’ve passed on in our life time, but with elves, they can be reborn. They know that death is only temporary. So when your mother died you think to yourself, “I’ll just wait for her to feel better and then she can come back to me and father and we’ll be a family together again!” And that choice is taken from you, your mothers body, which was resting in the gardens or Lorien, is then gone and you now cannot even pretend that she is merely sleeping.

As far as I know, no living souls may visit the dead in the Halls, he no longer can hold his mothers hands and can no longer pretend that she is there, she was so sick when she passed that asking her to make a choice that would affect her for the rest of eternity isn’t the way to go. I suffer from severe depression, and in bad days I think I would be better if dead, and if I had lost my will to live and some godly being demanded that I make a choice right this moment(!!!) to return to life or be forever dead, I would have chosen to remain dead since I cannot think of why living would be better. To put so much pressure on a dead woman, who may or may not have died due to  postpartum depression, is not the way to go in any situation where Finwe may have wanted to get a divorce or have more kids.

Elves are immortal, they do not die, why can’t Finwe not wait for who was supposed to be the love of his life? Why did Indis, a supposed friend of Miriels, decide that her getting her happily ever after is worth sundering her FRIEND from her son forever? Why does Indis get her happily ever after and Miriel does not? I can see why Feanor would be so against Indis and her children because under similar circumstances I would have been the same, seeing others get what was promised to me, in the blessed lands where everything was supposed to be BETTER and not getting it anyways is a recipe of disaster.

I do not feel any sympathy for Indis, not really, not when she willingly deprived her stepson of a chance for a mother, not when she willingly agreed to have kids with someone knowing that one of his kids would never have that fea bond with his mother ever again. I cannot sympathize with her selfish desire for dick, not when it hurt a child, which was what Feanor was.

I cannot imagine how Feanor might’ve felt seeing his half siblings with their mother and feeling that gaping hole in his soul knowing that I order for them to exist his mother is gone forever. To look at his brothers and sisters and see what may have been if his mother didn’t put so much of her into him, and feeling so guilty that “if only I didn’t exist my mother would still be alive”. To have it rubbed in his face, no matter how unintentionally, by his father and his new wife when Findis was a newborn that, maybe just maybe, some of the rumors are right and that him and his mother truly are marred because Indis bore a child successfully without dying so there MUST be something wrong with them.

To have that reminder of your mothers death constantly for years and have your father be so happy with his new family that it seems like he’s forgetting all your mother represented, to have the Noldor replace your mother, one of the people who represented what the Noldor are, with one of those golden Vanya princess, is unimaginable to me.

Maybe it’s a personal character flaw of myself but if I were in Feanors shoes I may have done something worse than pull a sword of my half brother when he was trying to convince my only surviving parent to disavow me.

[niragis-thot]

Niragi’s Favorite Toy

Part 5:

Niragi X female reader

Major warning for CNC kink is this chapter. Please do not read if this type of content is triggering to you.

Warnings: CNC, Dubious consent, smut, knife play, gun kink, and manipulative relationship, everything you would expect from Niragi.

I haven’t been able to get much writing done this week due to flare ups, but I am back at it now 😊 While editing this one I have been listening to My Strange Addiction by Billie Eilish

Part [1]

Part [2]

Part [3]

Part [4]

You felt a rush of adrenaline wash over you as you took off running towards the stairs. Once inside the stairwell you looked back. You needed to know that Niragi was on your trail. As soon as he rounded the corner to where you could see him you slammed the door loudly, making your escape route obvious.

Then you sprinted up towards the top. The thoughts of what the dangerous man would do once he caught up with you left you excited.

“Stupid bitch. You’re going to regret this.” Niragi’s screams echoed through the stairwell.

It felt like a gamble. When he had asked you if you wanted to be the hunter or the prey it had planted ideas in your head. You didn’t want to the prey in this world, but the thought of being his prey continued to creep into your mind. To be hunted by Niragi Suguru, then ravaged by him. You craved it.

But you also had learned just how unpredictable and violent he could be. You weren’t sure how much danger enticing him would put you in. And that unknown was exciting.

On the executive floor you could here him closing the distance behind you. When you reached his room you felt him grab you. He covered your mouth with his hand with so much force you felt your jaw would be bruised. His other arm encircling you tightly so your arms were completely immobilized. He slammed you up against the door, and pressed his body up against you. You squirmed and tried to free your hands, and the more you did the harder you felt him becoming.

He started to rub his erection on your ass. “You know, if you’re trying to run away from me, my room probably wasn’t the best place to hide.” He paused and began you bite at your neck for a moment, “I think you want me to rape you.”

You managed to break one hand free from his grasp, and he loosened his grip just enough to be able to shove you back into the door. “If you keep fighting me I’m going to have to hurt you. But it’ll be more fun for me if you do.” You felt the cold metal of the piercing on your ear. He released your mouth and moved his hand down into your swimsuit.

You struggled not to moan right away, but the twitching of your hips gave you away.

“Was I that good? You need me to force myself on you?” He taunted before withdrawing his hand to open the door. Once he got inside he shoved you to the ground and climbed on top of you.

You hadn’t been able to see him while he had you pinned to the wall, and now you could see he had blood on his face and shirt.

“Oh my god, are you ok.” You said, snapping out of the act you were putting on for a moment.

“Not my blood sweetheart.” He said while tearing away your bikini top. “And don’t try to distract me from your punishment.” Now that your breasts were free he grabbed your wrists and held them to your side. He began to lick at your breasts, teasing your nipples with his tongue piercing until they grew hard.

Meanwhile he made the bulge in his pants grind in between your legs. You had already felt so horny from fantasizing about him on the drive back, and now with him on top of you, you could feel yourself getting wet under the thin fabric of your swimsuit.

He started unbuttoning his pants. And began to crawl forward. He took you arms and pinned them above your head before sliding his cock into your mouth. Then he slowly began to thrust. Soon he was hitting the back of your throat as he mercilessly fucked your face. His large size, and how rough he was being made you choke. You felt your eyes water as you felt the pressure of him pushing into the back of your throat. “You sound so cute when you gag babygirl.”

He had you in an uncomfortable position. There was nothing beneath your head but the hard floor. His legs on each side of your torso prevented you from trying to move. The entire time he moaned, “oh Y/N. Your mouth makes such a great fuck toy.”

Your jaw was aching by the time he pulled out. He began to kiss you, tasting himself on your lips. It was a brief moment of softness before he gazed at you with a feral look into his eyes. He began to stand up and grabbed his rifle that had been leaned against the wall. He and pointed it at you and ordered, “Get up.”

You slowly stood and raised your hands.

“Turn around and take that swimsuit off.” You turned and began to slowly slide it off of you. You arched your back to show off your assets. Then you felt the cold muzzle at the back of your head, “get on the bed”

You obeyed and crawled onto the bed, daring to look back a second, “hold that pose.” He continued to aim at you while undressing himself and pulling a rope out of his dresser.

He climbed onto the bed and grabbed at your arms. Your face collapsed down into the mattress without their support. The next thing you knew your arms were being tied behind your back.

“So vulnerable,” he said while pushing the tip of his rifle between your folds. He slid it forward to hit your clit, and let out a whimper. “And here I thought you were only horny for my dick.” He continued to push at your clit in a circular motion. You were already so sensitive that it made the feeling intense.

“Look at what a mess you made,” he said as he pulled the rifle away. “Now clean it up” he place the muzzle next to your face for you to lick. “Keep going, I won’t give you what you want until it’s completely clean.” Right when he said that he pressed his hard cock up against your backside. You licked frantically while pressing back against him.

“You run away like you don’t want this, but your body is telling me otherwise.” He grabbed your hips and forced you to rub up against him.

You needed to be filled right then, and you felt like taking a risk to get what you wanted.

“What do you want from me little whore.”

“Niragi, please stop.” You looked back over your shoulder.

That clearly awakened something inside of him, because he grabbed your hips so hard you could feel his nails sinking into you, and shoved his cock all the way inside of you, ramming it against your cervix. The more that you squirmed underneath him the harder his thrusts became. You felt your body come to life as he moved in you.

Then there was a sharp sting as he spanked you hard, “This is what I have to do to you when you misbehave.” He continued to slap with more intestinal each time. Then he reached out and pulled on your hair. “And I can keep on hurting you until you admit how much you love this.”

You turned you neck to look back at him, “make me.”

“Stupid bitch,” This time he grabbed your neck and wrapped his hands around it. Your pussy clenched around him as you felt the pressure. “I felt that sweetheart. Now just tell me that you’re enjoying everything I’ve done to you. Your body already is.”

You nodded your head.

Niragi released your neck. “Good girl.” He continued to thrust into you while he moved his hand to your clit. You couldn’t hold back your moans any longer. “See, your body already knows it belongs to me.”

Your body burned as you felt him moving deep inside of you. As you lost control of your body your thighs began to twitch. With how aggressively he was pounding into you, it wasn’t long until you were completely collapsed on the bed. Your face pressed down against the sheets, unable to move with the way your hands were tied, and Niragi gripping your hips pull you into him faster.

Every moan you let out became louder and more erratic. Suddenly Niragi thrust all the way inside of you and stopped. His grip on your hips was so tight that, try as you might, you couldn’t slide yourself along his dick. You craved it so much that being still was driving you crazy.

“You don’t get to cum until I say so,” he said while spanking your ass hard.

“Please” you begged.

“I can’t hear you.”

“Niragi, I’m begging you.” You we’re so close to your release that your clit throbbed.

“I’m not sure that you deserve it.” He slapped you so hard this time that you let out a yelp. You could feel his dick twitch as your pain turned him on.

He pulled out of you completely, and began to flip you onto your back. With your wrists bound tightly together you felt your arms stretch painfully to try and accommodate your new position, your back arched over them to make space, “Niragi that hurts.” You cried out.

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you ran away.” Your comfort was clearly not any concern of his.

He smiled as he looked down at your face, and was immediately glad he had given you that makeup. Your eyes were watering, and the way your tears mixed with black eyeshadow looked so beautiful to him. He wiped away your tears with his thumb, and knew he wanted to see your face full of tears as he came inside you.

You gasped as Niragi entered you again, awkwardly trying to move your hips to meet his strokes.

“Since you want me to let you cum so badly, let’s play a game.” He growled into your ear. “I’m going to choke you, and if you cum before you pass out I’ll stop.”

He wrapped his hands around your neck and squeezed. The adrenaline kicked in as you realized how vulnerable you were. No way to use your hands, there was no way that Niragi was going listen if you tried to tell him to stop. You kicked with your legs which did nothing but make him even harder as he thrusted into you.

The danger, not knowing if he would actually harm you or not, made you shake as your lower body filled with pleasure. But it was when he leaned over you and stuck his tongue out, taunting you as he revealed the metal piercing that he sent you over the edge. He released you as you as you clenched around his cock, and kept thrusting sending waves of ecstasy through your body. Finally he threw his head back and moaned as you felt him fill you.

Afterwards he collapsed next to you breathing heavily. You managed to turn on your side to relieve a little bit of the strain on your arms and basked in the afterglow before noticing him drifting off next to you. “Niragi, I had a really good time tonight, but if you fall asleep before you untie me I swear to god.”

Niragi lazily rolled over and began undoing the rope. “I couldn’t have guessed you were so kinky, if you wanted me to be this rough you could have just asked.”

“I thought you’d enjoy the thrill of the hunt this way.”

“Speaking of the hunt, how did your game go? And why are you back without the shirt you begged so much for?”

“I regret to have to tell you that the last time I saw that hoodie it was on fire and in a Hyena’s mouth.”

Niragi raised an eyebrow, and you felt this would probably be the best time you had to stand up for yourself. “I appreciate you giving me the knife, but it wasn’t going to do anything against those hyenas. I’m not going to the games before my visa expires unless you get me a gun.”

“We’ll work on that tomorrow.” He said as you felt the roles release your arms.

You sat up and put your arms around you. “Thank you.”

He looked down as if unsure what to do with this display of affection. Furrowing his brow he responded in a mocking tone, “you only slept with me to get a gun, my feelings are so hurt.”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have accused you of that if you hadn’t been a dick.”

“Come on, you know you like it when I’m mean.”

Satisfied with his answer you laid down and let yourself fall asleep.

[sketch-guardian]

HELLO! I hope you've been doing well, I certainly missed reading your writing! I have come with another question after a while! What are the classmates' biggest insecurities? Thank you! - Isa

Hello to you too Isa!✨I'm sorry for not posting much in this period,but I was quite busy and a bit tired🙈still,I'm doing okay,thank you for asking☺I hope you're doing alright as well! Also thanks, that's very sweet of you to say😳💕regarding your ask, I think by writing about their insecurities, I'll end up including some of their biggest fears as well, so I apologize in advance if these insecurities don't seem to be valid enough or count as such, so if the answer isn't satisfaying enough, please feel free to send me another ask so that I can change/fix things🙈

WHAT ARE THE RAD CLASSMATES BIGGEST INSECURITIES?

DEMYA

Her low intelligence/loss of control

Demya started her education late compared to other demons and it was Azul who taught her to read and write after her return to civilization, however this doesn't mean that she doesn't still have troubles and although this doesn't normally bother her, she fears deep down not to be taken seriously or to be treated like an idiot or an animal due to her general culture. Another one of her insecurity concerns the self-control she has during her hunger, Demya fears that one day she will end up hurting her friends and MC without wanting to/noticing it and she would hardly be able to forgive herself if something like that happened.

DOMNRA(MOBIM)

His character/not counting anything

Domnra knows that he doesn't have a pleasant attitude and that he has anger issues and even if he doesn't show it, he fears that sooner or later his friends and MC will get tired of him and that they'll abandon him, leaving him alone and unable to confess really how he feels, because of his stupid pride. He has also always had self-esteem issues since his days as an angel, where he wasn't particularly considered, unlike other special angels, so he fears that even as a demon, his person won't have that much importance and he doubts that anyone would miss him.

To be destroyed/its height

Even though its bond with Domnra is rather strong,close and secure, Mobim is still afraid that one day Domnra will decide that he wants to get rid of it, because it's useless. Mobim knows it is a curse, that it shouldn't exist and that if Domnra had found a cure long ago, it would no longer be there, but having lived for so long…now Mobim has developed a fear of dying. It's also quite insecure of its size, because it knows that despite being a curse, it's not threatening at all.

AZUL

Being alone for too long,especially with his thoughts/not being able to protect his loved ones

Azul loves the company of people not only because he's a social butterfly by nature, but also because it helps him not to override his intrusive thoughts that have taken up residence in his head since his fall from the Celestial Realm, he tends to be scary when he loses control and is afraid that sooner or later this will make others leave him behind. Though he doesn't seem insecure given his power and behavior, Azul doesn't think he would be able to grieve,due to his mental instability,and fears that one day his arrogance will cost his friends and MC a heavy price.

ZURI

Not being good enough according to her perfectionistic standards

Zuri has always been under observation and pressure since her days as an angel, where her every move was judged and analyzed and although she is free now, as a demon she still has the habit of always aiming for perfection, not so much for the opinion of others, but for herself, not believing she could afford anything less. She's never confessed it to anyone, but she's afraid that if she acts or presents herself in a different, less refined way, people close to her won't recognize/care for her. She thinks many people want to get to know her only due to her status or beauty.

ODON

Not being accepted because of their past

Odon remembers the atrocious acts they committed centuries ago and a part of them doesn't regret their choices, because they knew they were acting according to their demon nature and therefore they don't feel particular remorse, however now they're trying to change,aware that many are still afraid of them. Odon fears that despite their best efforts, no one will be able to see beyond their monstrous eldritch horror nature.

[treeofnonsense]

Talk to me about ace friendo - 1, 8, 20, 21, 28, 33, and 34 🤍💜

THANK YOUUUUU I GET TO RAMBLE IT'S GOING TO BE LOONG

1. Which labels do you use?

Asexual and aromantic cis(???how do you define cis???) woman. There are probably some microlabels under the ace/aro umbrellas that could describe me but I don't tend to dive into microlabels anymore - I've found that defining myself by those feels more like cutting myself up to fit into little boxes rather than finding a space I'm comfy in. I'm okay with being referred to as gay when it's a joke or as part of a group (ie "one of the gays" "gay people in your phone") and I'll count myself as a member of the LGBT community if directly asked (though I'm always a little hesitant because they don't always want to include me back). I don't use queer because I've never had it thrown at me and don't feel I have the right to reclaim it.

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

I don't know how, but you got the right answer with the wrong equation.

20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?

Yes and no. I'm very thankful for the community because it's the only place I've felt able to be my full self, but on the other hand there is definitely a disconnect for a few reasons. One is that I live in a non-urban conservative area, and a lot of Pride stuff seems to default to urban and liberal. I've never been to a Pride parade - not because I want to but because there aren't any where I live. People forget those of us who live in the boonies I think - or they actively look down on us, which sucks. Sometimes the discourse feels so above my head - they're talking stores taking down their Pride decorations while I haven't even noticed the change because they NEVER do that here in the first place.

The other thing is that there was definitely a pushback towards asexuals specifically being considered LGBT a few years ago. Don't know the exact timeframe (I thankfully wasn't around online during that time) but the ripple effects can still be felt. I think the idea is that we were actually just heterosexual imposters in disguise or something - it's stupid - but it's made me very nervous about joining any LGBT groups. I always have to check to see if the LGBT+ actually includes the A, y'know? Add to that the fact that the LGBT community naturally talks a lot about sex and romance (understandable, I'm not trying to change it, on a logical and ideological level I think talking about these things frankly is good) and I can sometimes feel alienated there. Some LGBT people seem to think that sexual freedom means "everyone should have sex all the time" and like ... no. It means the freedom to choose whatever you want. If you're forcing something on me you're just as bad as everyone else.

21. What message would you give to your younger self?

Measure your life's value in happiness, not money.

28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?

I definitely do not have the sexual attraction, for anyone. I can tell generally when someone is supposed to be hot, but only because I've learned from experience what is socially accepted as "hot". I can definitely find people beautiful but it's in the same way I'd find a landscape beautiful - I want to stare at it, maybe I want to draw it, but nothing else. I've noticed I tend to find women beautiful more often than men; I don't know if that's because I'm more familiar with the biology, because women tend to dress up more due to societal pressures, or just a weird preference. But again, it never progresses beyond aesthetic appreciation and there have definitely been guys I like to look at too so it's not 100% reliable.

Romantic is harder. When you take out everything physical, I have a hard time telling the difference between a romance and a close friendship. I'm dense as a brick when people flirt with me because I literally cannot tell they're not just being friendly. I know I'm not upset by being single like some people seem to be, but I do get lonely without friends. There are people I want to get to know better and do stuff with - is that wanting friends? Romantic attraction? I DUNNO MAN! Most people do not seem to have this problem, so I assume I'm different and slap the aromantic label on myself. It works.

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/want to recognize/celebrate?

I'm proud of my own independence when it comes to relationships. I don't need a significant other or a sexual partner to be "complete," contrary to what the world says. If you want those things, by all means, but for those people who are ace/aro, who aren't ready for a relationship, or are learning to just exist as themselves alone for the first time, I want to be living proof that it is possible to be happy on your own. You are not half of a person if you are single. You are a whole person. Just you is enough.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

I need a new wardrobe. Been having Gender Thoughts(TM) thanks in no small part to some of my mutuals going through it and I'm now realizing that a lot of my clothes don't really fit who I am in my head anymore. My family was kinda poor growing up and I learned not to waste things, so I have a lot of old clothes and hand-me-downs still left over, many of which are pretty classic feminine. I want to try getting some more masculine stuff and see how that feels. (if uh... if any of you have advice for going slightly more masc please let me know, this is new to me and I am confuzzled)

Living in an area where I don't see Trump 2024 signs, blue-line cop stuff, and Confederate flags every four feet would be nice too, but that's a longer-term goal.

[cantuscorvi]

Is there any life philosophy that young Raum has had to let go over the years? Any hopes or dreams Raum used to cling to even in his 20s that he has gradually abandoned or ones that were ripped out from him by force/trauma? Or perhaps opinions/beliefs he had that were crushed by experience? If older Raum, late 30s/early 40s, could say something to his 19yo self, what would it be?

@nezumivc103221

Oh absolutely. A bunch of things that shaped how Raum sees the world actually hit before he reached 20, especially regarding trauma, but you asked about this time period specifically, so I won't mention those here. The development of 20yo to 40yo Raum is like, a problem of just generally being young and stupid. His inexperience, decadence and idealism.

Raum has always had an issue with selfishness and with idealism of his own capabilities. He always wants to have his cake and eat it too. When he was younger — it made him a bit of a fence-sitter. He didn’t really have to think hard, or make any tough choices. He would follow whatever his father told him, and when he decided he didn’t like it, he would run to his uncle instead. He would jump back and forth on that seesaw however it suited him, basically playing them against each other so that he could feel the most comfortable.

Growing up spoiled like this, he was lazy. He had a philosophy that things should be handed to him without having to choose, or to take action. Or, that he could choose both options in any scenario and take advantage without having to lift a finger.

When you don’t commit to anything, then you never lose. Right?

Eventually he even grew fed up of that game of seesaw. He felt alienated by his father and suffocated by his uncle. So what to do? Well, nothing seems to be working out, so you throw it all away and start again.

Raum had an intention to leave his current life (both it's privileges and responsibilities) behind when he was eighteen. Travelling abroad to study seemed like a perfect excuse. Tired of feeling pulled in two directions by his family, and in effort to create distance and rethink the direction of his life, he wanted to take some steps toward independence. At that time, there was some part of him that wanted to disappear. He had an — admittedly, naïve — idea that he could just go to where nobody knew him and try becoming someone else.

A period of experimentation, Raum spent the time in university trying to live as ‘normal’ a life as he could. He studied pretty hard because he was genuinely interested in his subject matter, ( history & conservation) but he also did a lot of drinking, partying, experimentation with sexuality and drugs. In the end, mostly normal student behaviours. After spending a lot of time under the control of others, he went a bit wild when away from their magnifying glass. He had a sense of freedom he hadn’t held before, but also a lack of personal growth. However, he was only able indulge that fantasy life for one year before Friedrich died.

Friedrich’s death essentially threw a grenade on any plans Raum might have had (tentative as they already were) and forced him to take over his position as the head of WC due to the process of his will. He didn’t really have room to refuse, to prevent the company stock from crashing and burning into the ground and everything being saddled under a mountain of debt. It was a time of emotional turmoil and fragility in his life. One where all of that pressure he had been avoiding was put upon his shoulders without warning. He couldn’t escape anything.

In the end, Raum crawled back to Cyrus for guidance on how to pick up the pieces, meanwhile silencing his negative emotions using those hedonistic activities that he had previously only dabbled in. He had to fix what he considered to be a broken company with a severely outdated business model, meanwhile the previous allies had turned into new competitors trying to profit from their potential demise.

In the end, he realised that by not choosing anything to start with, he gave up his free will entirely. Even with how he behaved to avoid his emotions ; he essentially got addicted to escaping. He gave up his opportunity to choose the path in his life. And throughout his twenties, even though it was still something he sometimes wished for, he eventually gave up on the idea of escape. From then on his approach to life totally flipped and he became very proactive about setting targets, making decisions, and taking steps to obtain what he wants.

To be honest, if Raum had to talk to his younger self he would just get so caught up in berating him for being dumb that he wouldn’t be able to offer any important advice LMAO. Hindsight really is 20/20 in this situation, there’s almost no way he could’ve predicted or prepared for what was out of his control. And, the only way Raum could offer any warning is if he knew the circumstances that caused Friedrich to die.

[aspd-culture]

what is even the “calm under pressure” thing.. I tried to research but all that came up was ableist and stupid articles. Because as a burnt out cptsd haver (the trauma is the reason I have aspd in the first place?!!) I definitely feel like the opposite of “calm under pressure”. Sorry if this doesn't make sense my brain is half asleep rn. I am highly sensitive to stress which is probably an emotional flashback thing but yeah idk idk

Not everyone is calm under pressure, but many people who have trauma tend to fit in that category. The reason for this is that when you've gone through extensive trauma, "pressure" tends to mean something different. Often, but not always, no day to day situation is ever going to feel as stressful as anything that causes the PTSD. It's sort of a mindset of "this is nothing compared to what I've been through. I know I can survive this if I survived that, so why bother to panic?".

It's also because if you spent an extensive part of your life dealing with being in survival mode and having high adrenaline, you are more likely to be able to function and think rationally and use logic even in that situation. Your typical person will often not be able to form coherent thoughts under adrenaline-inducing "pressure", and their ideas may not actually be practical or helpful. Their behavior may be erratic and they may drive their body into a frenzy of panic, decreasing their stress tolerance even further and - if their life is at risk due to things like limited oxygen such as in a fire - decreasing their chance of survival. Meanwhile, we tend to be able to think of actually useful ideas to resolve the situation and/or survive longer in it. The more experienced your brain is with adrenaline, the better it can put it to use to help rather than hinder you in a bad situation.

Also, specifically in pwASPD, much of the pressure would be alleviated because you aren't focused on or worried about how it could affect other people as much. When you have to get more people through safely, you need more contingency plans. When it's just you, you can trust yourself to do everything you plan to do and the only contingency you need to think of is if things fail rather than if other people use their pesky free will. /hj

This obviously isn't true across the board. It is normal to have either reaction - increased or decreased stress tolerance - but it's more well-documented in pwASPD to have increased stress tolerance for the reasons listed above. That said, you shouldn't feel invalid or excluded if your stress tolerance was lowered by what you went through because that makes just as much sense.

[marysunshine23]

Meet Clairise Heyes!

Inspired by the Yandere Bob Velseb series enderpearlll wrote called “My Favourite Employee”.

Clairise, also known as “Auntie Claire”, is a 20-or-30-something-year-old woman who is childhood-friends with Lila and Jaune. Due to her processing disorder, it’s not uncommon for Clairise to be bounced from job to job; so she was over the moon when she got a job at Boys and Grills.

For the most part, Clairise was pretty happy with how things were going. And she didn’t put too much thought into how she was feeling about a potential stalker; it wouldn’t be the first time anxiety drove her to paranoia. Between Bob’s TLC and Clairise’s personal belief that most problems can be solved with food, it felt like just another instance where she had to grit her teeth and power through. Between seriously considering dating her boss (despite it being terrible work ethic), having a good group of friends, and finally having stable income, she had developed a great emotional support system.

Until she didn’t. After a very unnerving call from her at work bestie, the fact that they went missing felt a little too well planned. And Clairise wasn’t really in an emotional position to shrug it off as coincidence. Her family wasn’t exactly great when it came to emotional support in times of crisis, claiming that she was just “burning more braincells than she could afford” on “stuff that [didn’t] matter”. She actually planned on talking to Bob about what to do to seek out actual support.

The key word here is “planned”, because being fed your best friend in the form of a burger kind of derailed the plan. Not to mention it booted off probably the biggest emotional support Clairise had; both figuratively and metephorically. And locking herself in Bob’s office? Yeah, that didn’t help. It was a lot to process, and she already struggled to do that in general; let alone under both pressure and a time crunch. So of course she threw up the only way to pause that she could think of; calling the cops. Granted, it took all of the time it takes to put the phone back on the cradle for Clairise to regret doing so. How was she supposed to process everything if one of the main aspects went to jail?!

It was too much. Way, way too much. She found herself huddled in a corner of the office, arms over her head as she tried to sort through everything that had occurred in less than 15 minutes; and Bob banging on the door and pleading for her attention and understanding didn’t help. Nothing was helping, and she couldn’t shut any of it off. It didn’t even register when Bob finally got into the office, or that he was talking to her; trying to comfort her. The only thing she could really remember was watching the police pull him away and how the feelings of regret pitted deep into her stomach.

It wasn’t a surprise that Boys and Grills was shut down for a while, and Clairise was thankful that Lila let her stay over until she got things sorted. But it didn’t take more than a month for her to decide to do something that anyone else would consider incredibly stupid.

...

Sitting at the visitation counter, resting her head on her crossed arms as she waited for the police to fetch him, Clairise knew everyone would scold her for visiting Bob. But if anyone could help her understand the series of events, she knew he wouldn’t just try to help, he would help. If her parents found out, Hell, even if Lila and Jaune found out, she knew for a fact they would chew her out for doing this. But she needed answers and help, and no one else involved would be able to provide that; whether it be because they were still processing it or because they were dead.

In her peripheral, she saw Bob sit on the other side of the bullet proof glass before grabbing the phone to talk to her. She pulled herself into a proper sitting position before grabbing her own receiver.

“If you really wanted to make me feel better, you’d have killed off one of the people who call me stupid all the time,” she said before sighing, “But I guess telling you that isn’t really why I’m here. I’m... I’m having a hard time understanding what... happened... I feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me... and I just...” she felt tears welling up in her eyes, “I didn’t mean for you to be here. I just didn’t know how to get everything to stop so I could register everything. I-I was so scared and upset and hurt and... Bob I didn’t... I don’t know what to do about all of this... I don’t even know what happened! I just...” she took a shaky breath and looked down at the table, “I’m sorry... I didn’t know what to do... I panicked... Please, just... I just need to know what happened... from start to finish, I need to know how we got here. Please... talk me through it... what happened when you hired me to get to this point?”

[annaphotographingthecity]

Musicians and Addiction

The amount of musicians losing their lives to substance abuse is alarming. Some major names that most people would recognize that lost their lives due to addiction include Mac Miller, Amy Winehouse, and Michael Jackson. Not to mention the list goes on and on. Some things to consider are if we only know of their deaths due to their fame or is there more of a deeper connection. “A career in music comes with a range of challenges, from artistic to personal and financial.”(The Day the Music Died, 2021) This could potentially be the triggers for falling into using drugs. Musicians could be using drugs for a myriad of reasons. The life of a musician can be uncertain, career success is never a guarantee. The music scene in general has heavy drug usage so musicians could just be participating in what is around them. They could also be using drugs because that is when they feel they are most creative. According to Thought Catalog there are eight potentials to why musicians become or are addicts. The first is “Environment”(Mangel), most musicians are playing in clubs where drug culture is already prevalent, thus leading them down that path. The next potential reason is “Wealth”(Mangel), drug dealers like to target musicians because they know they have the funds to purchase from them and the dealers could potentially make a lot of money from them. This ties into the third which is “Benefits for dealer”(Mangel). The fourth is “Permissiveness”(Mangel), meaning that musicians can get away with more due to the fact that they are irreplaceable. The next reason is “Youth”(Mangel) , oftentimes musicians fall into fame young and therefore make stupid decisions which are amplified by money and fame. This next one also plays into the youthful aspect and it is that “No health necessary”(Mangel), meaning that since most of these artists are young they can get away with having less than optimal health and still being able to perform. Drugs can also be given so that way they perform better, making their addiction worse. The seventh reason is “Peer pressure”(Mangel). I think we can all agree we have done something because of peer pressure. Lastly there is “Life on the road”(Mangel), life on the road can be isolating and using drugs can be a way to cope with that. The question of being genetically predisposed to addiction. Mangel countered that with “people use drugs… because drugs make them feel good”. I think another important thing to note is that fame is something that can be extremely isolating. I also think that some people just handle fame differently than others. Some people were made to be able to handle it and some crumble under the pressure. I think if someone who is already in a bad mental health place is then introduced to fame and fortune, there could be a hard adjustment and thus more susceptible to substance abuse.

[mylordshesacactus]

This got long so it’s become its own post.

I explained this to my seven-year-old cousin once when she expressed distaste over anyone possibly enjoying horror movies, and she understood perfectly, so adults have no excuse: 

People read dark fiction for the same reason they ride roller coasters. 

It’s a simulation of danger without anyone actually being under threat. It gets the brain worked up, releases a bunch of adrenaline into your system, you experience a whole rush of emotions and excitement and fear; but a safe kind of fear, where you know the danger isn’t real and there are dozens of measures in place to protect you. And then it’s over and you can get off the ride.

That doesn’t mean everyone is obligated to ride roller coasters. I, for example, am scared of heights, and most coasters are scary for me in a way that isn’t fun. The fear isn’t that I’ll die, the fear is of experiencing more of the ride and thus it’s not a safe fear, because it’s real and I have no control over it. As such, I don’t ride large roller coasters. But the fact that large coasters are not mentally or emotionally safe for me to ride doesn’t mean they should be illegal, or that there’s “something wrong” with anyone who enjoys them.

Similarly, sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes people have conditions they don’t know about until a coaster aggravates them in the worst possible way because they didn’t know to avoid it...and that’s no one’s fault. People have died or been injured in coaster accidents, and those accidents are pretty much always the result of human error, carelessness, laziness, or poor communication. It’s the responsibility of the amusement park to make sure that basic safety features are built-in and maintained--or at the very least (mangling the metaphor somewhat because this would obviously be illegal in real life) to make it clear that those features don’t exist! I feel like most people would avoid a ride clearly labelled “HAS NEVER HAD A SAFETY INSPECTION! NO RESTRAINT BARS! RIDE STAFF HAVE NOT BEEN TRAINED AND THERE ARE NO EMERGENCY SERVICES ON-SITE! OPEN FLAMES!” but if you click on a fic clearly labelled “author chose not to use warnings” you know the risks and they’ve met their obligation to warn you of them. And sometimes the people providing this content don’t perform that basic due diligence, and people get hurt as a result--but that’s on those specific bad actors, and doesn’t mean we ban all roller coasters. It also doesn’t mean every single ride operator on earth should be tarred with that brush, especially when they’ve openly spoken out against such practices! Furthermore, if you KNOW you have a heart condition and willingly get on a ride that says it is not safe for people with heart conditions, you cannot then blame the amusement park!

What makes roller coasters safe for me? Well, for one, the fact that I’m an adult now so my family has finally stopped trying to force me onto them. Pressure was a constant part of interacting with coasters for me for YEARS, and THAT fucked me up. There was “mild” teasing, frustration when I refused, anger if I changed my mind, and a lot of guilt-tripping about how it was my fault that they couldn’t go on the rides they wanted to because of me. That shit was not okay, and anyone trying to force someone to engage with content they don’t want to is obviously in the wrong.

The OTHER thing that helps me is content warnings the heroes who upload on-ride video of coasters I’m interested in trying. Knowing exactly what to expect--being able to see for myself all the drops so I can judge if they’ll be too much for me, and know in advance where they are so I can brace myself--can turn a ride that otherwise would have been a miserable and stressful experience that I chose not to subject myself to into a really good time. These are especially valuable, because what’s safe for ME is not automatically safe for everyone else. The only thing that makes a ride too much for me--my only hard limit--is extremely tall drops. I love inversions, fast twists and turns, I don’t mind rough coasters, it’s just drop height. But I’ve known people with medical conditions that made rough jolts dangerous, and plenty of people like tall drops but find tight turns and high speed overwhelming. Do I wish more coasters were designed to have the elements I enjoy without the ones I don’t? Yes, and not being able to find many frustrates me. But that doesn’t mean I expect everyone to have the same limits, or that I think people who design tall coasters with big drops and lots of airtime are malicious.

By this logic, actually, darkfic is much safer than roller coasters--once you’ve committed to a coaster you have to ride it out even if you change your mind. But the moment a dark fic or horror movie takes a turn you don’t like or becomes suddenly too real, you can turn it off and walk away.

And if you think enjoying roller coasters means someone will conclude that it’s okay to fling people off cliffs without their consent, then, well, in that case you’re just ungodly fucking stupid. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Have fun on those hypercoasters, you crazy bastards. Keep uploading ride videos for me.

[lokiskitten]

hello i love ur works omg idk if ur still accepting reqs or suggestions regarding ur stepdad! tom imagines but what abt an imagine in which tom attempts to end the secret affair between him and the reader and then the reader is heartbroken so she gets herself a boyfriend which makes tom jealous then smut ?? idk HAHAHA tyyy

Tom Hiddleston | forbidden behavior

Stepdad!Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : around a week after your stepfather called it off regarding the bond you two had developed, you are caught hanging out with a couple of friends in a café. Noticing his presence outside of the building, you decide to join him only to receive the most peculiar lecture of your life.

warnings : stepdad!trope, stepdad x stepdaughter intercourse, jealousy, slight physical abuse, kissing, crotch groping, handjob.

A week had passed since your stepfather had decided to end the relationship the two of you had progressively developed behind your mother’s back. You obviously took this as betrayal, an unnecessary decision which easily led you to develop hatred for the older man- especially after he had managed to convince you that the moments you spent together filled him with as much bliss as it did for you. But these times were now over, and your first mission easily became to avoid him as soon as you penetrated inside of your own home. Before your mother, both you and Tom were obviously forced to make an effort in order to keep your secret on the low- scared that any suspicious behavior would lead your past to come flashing under the lights of the projectors.

On a warm Friday evening, you had decided to stop by a café with a couple of your friends in order to celebrate the end of the week. Within this group stood Trystan, a boy you had finally agreed on offering a chance after breaking up with Thomas. He was nice and well educated, a mass of long black hair covering the top of his head as well as his neck. The young man also brought home plenty of nice grades, which could only be a green flag to your high expectations holding self- adding up to how he had offered to help with your mathematics homework after school. Now this was a proposition you jumped on immediately, but which you knew wouldn’t be able to take place within the walls of your house- and that due to your dragon of a stepfather.

Being too busy laughing with your classmate, you hadn’t noticed Tom’s presence outside of the café, his body leant against his car as he watched you fall for someone else. In fact, he had been following you on your way back home from college nearly every day of the week- satisfying the weird obsession he held for your younger self and easing his crippling anxiety and possessive behaviors. Seeing you with another man couldn’t have driven him more upset, his fists clenching out of pure anger within the pockets of the suit he wore for work. Minutes passed by, and the older man remained leant against his car whilst growing more and more impatient regarding the sweet words and touches you appeared to offer the black haired boy. These touches he knew so well were meant to be his, and this overall sight easily led the adult to regret ever breaking it off with you.

When your head finally looked up in order to divert through the open doors of the café, your heart tightened upon witnessing the stern silhouette of your stepfather waiting against his car. Embrassement and fear progressively started to fill your organism, face decomposing whilst your friends continued to laugh with one another. Thankfully, it didn’t take long until Trystan noticed the way your mood had unexpectedly yet drastically changed. “Hey, Y/n?? You’re okay?” He asked on a concerned tone, his empathy leading your stomach to grow a couple of more knots at the thought of your stepdad witnessing such a scene. “Yeah..I’m fine. I think I’ll be going home now.” you responded politely, catching all of your mates off guard though none of them did a thing to hold you back. They could tell you appeared sick and pale.

“Take care.” Lizzie purred out as you swung your bag over your shoulder, the group’s curious eyes following your silhouette which exited through the door of the café only to end up joining an older man who stood nowhere far from here. Swallowing your saliva, you attempted your best to keep a rather proud expression on your face in order to push Tom a bit closer to the edge. You were aware that he absolutely despised it whenever you held an attitude. “Hi.” Your briefly said, not fighting the situation as your feet immediately started to lead you towards the other side of the car. “Who’s that guy you were with?” Tom immediately asked as he got into the driver’s seat, slamming the door shut behind him. You mimicked his gestures, and the two of you were now sat in the front of his vehicle.

“Just a friend. Why is it important anyway?” You answered harshly, leading your stepdad’s anger to rise above the edge. “Right.” He responded coldly, both of his hands firmly holding onto the steering wheel as he began to drive away from the café. Silently, you watched the way his veins popped out of his skin due to the pressure applied onto his palm- the way his jaw clenched easily matching with his overall tensed and aggressive behavior. Without showing any form of weakness, you simply decided to behave as if you were indifferent face to this situation. You couldn’t exactly tell where Tom was taking the two of you, but even after your breakup you still trusted him well enough not to bring any harm to your fragile mind and body.

You felt surprised and confused to watch him park his car in a nearly empty parking lot, the upset male obviously seeking intimacy for the peculiar lecture he was about to give you. But again, he remained unexpectedly silent, his jaw and chest being the only parts of his body which remained in action. He couldn’t appear to find proper words, though was he truly seeking any? Gathering your courage to take the first step, your lips parted shyly, a single word barely getting enough time to come out of your mouth before you were violently cut off by your stepfather. “Tom-“ you began, body jumping due to the man’s unexpected and quite violent reaction. His palm had collided with the steering wheel, as if the only sound of your voice made him remember about what he had seen back at the café. It was the first time you ever saw him behave in such a way. Usually, he was always calm, friendly. Anger wasn’t an emotion he often felt the need to summon.

“What were you thinking?!” He blamed, the accusations penetrating your ears and leaving your poor mind clueless regarding what he was referring to. All you could tell was that his tone carried hatred, and that therefore his overall body was probably full of this exact same wrath. “Tell me, what were you thinking?” He repeated, this time on a slightly softer tone though this unwelcome touch of dominance remained. Pressing his head back against the seat as air escaped his lips, you finally found the strength to step forward and explain yourself. “He’s just a friend from college. He doesn’t stand up next to you.” You promised, the words escaping your lips as if you two had never put an end to your inappropriate relationship in the first place. “I think about you every day. I think of us.” You added, growing hopeful face to how your words appeared to progressively calm him down.

Tom’s head turned towards yours, ocean blue eyes locking with your unique orbs as the empty parking lot made it feel as if the world around you had stopped. The way his chest moved up and down as he breathed led something to rise within your soul- a sensation you hadn’t felt for over a week... ever since he had decided to put an end to your affair. His veiny hand moved up to your cheek, fingers brushing against your cheekbone before he took the initiative to delicately push a bit of your hair behind your ear. “I don’t want you to see this boy again... ever. You’re mine. My property.” He spoke gently though asserted dominance, allowing you to loose yourself in his soothing tone. However, his head was soon to tilt to the left, his upper body moving closer to yours in order to steal a kiss.

You understood the signals and moved forward as well, his hand still on your cheek as your lips collided against one another’s. His jaw roamed air as Tom took the initiative to intensify the kiss, enjoying this moment after he had been craving the taste of your flesh ever since he took the stupid decision that was ending it all between the two of you. Within a matter of weeks, you had managed to make your own stepfather crazy about you and your aura, your body, flaws and qualities. And whilst Tom continued to enjoy the taste of your lips, your nostrils were filled with bliss as they were finally allowed to breath in his cologne again, a smell you had terribly missed. No scent could’ve potentially replaced the infamous perfume that was your stepfather’s and which you had grown used and attached to through your multiple intercourses.

Growing more and more heated, you took the initiative to slide your hand down until his crotch, fingers tightening against the thick material of his suit which allowed you to feel his prominent bulge through his pants. Tom groaned out of satisfaction as you began to massage his flaccid length which had yet to harden through his trousers, hips buckling upwards just so slightly as if his crotch desired to remain stuck to your palm forever- and that through the help of a denser contact. The warmth which emitted from his groin felt delightful under your bare fingers, a sensation which could only make you crave for more. And so did he. Keeping his lips against yours, your stepfather proceeded to slide both his hands down between his thick thighs, digits unbuttoning and unzipping his pants in a rush which finally allowed you to penetrate within his intimacy.

Sliding past the elastic of his briefs, your hand was soon to come in contact with the slightly hardened member which resided down Tom’s pants. This once he moaned, the vibrations penetrating inside of your moist cavity before his tongue slid inside of your mouth. You were soon to hold up a rather satisfying pace, rubbing up and down his shaft and stopping only when you felt the need to offer him some extra pleasure by giving attention to his testicles. The male broke the buccal contact to collide against his seat, eyelids shutting close as you carried on leading his cock towards orgasm. His member had now hardened properly, revealing his true and generous length which had recently been pulled out of his pants. Just like before, Tom found pleasure in thrusting his hips upwards and participating to the intercourse a bit more than he already was.

“That little boy of yours.. is his cock this big?” Your stepdad asked through seethed teeth, having trouble finding his words due to his clenched abdomen and twitching nutsack. “No...” you responded, being slightly out of breath due to the heated kiss you shared earlier. Hearing these satisfying words coming out of your mouth, the older man couldn’t help but raise his shirt in a hurry before white semen began to sprint out of his overly sensitive urethra, his shaft twitching and contracting in order to propel the sperm out of his crotch. You bit down onto your lower lip face to such a delightful sight, hand moving down to his testicles in order to praise them one last time. This move made your stepfather shiver. You two had finally found yourselves, and it wasn’t any time soon that the older man would ever agree to let go of you again.

“And as you can see... I’m not dead”- all jokes but yes, I am alive and giving the people what it wants😭 I’m sorry if it isn’t very good tho🥺 I hope y’all are taking care!

taglist : @theaudacitytowrite @devilsuga @bucky-soldat @winteralpine @fa-me @ineffablefanic @delightfulheartdream @rosie-posie08 @marygut1407 @wildxwidow @tabea3 @lokistoriesreblog @arzennn