#felt like posting a wip bc it will take a few days if not weeks to get this thing done ;-;

[jollymalt]

working on a timebomb comic strip!

[ughdontbeboring]

pain relief

Austin Butler x WoC Reader (can be read by anyone)

Reader is trying to hide her chronic pain from her man

warnings: chronic pain (migraines), insecurities, smutty

THIS FOR ALL MY CHRONIC PAIN GIRLIES!!

notes: WOW even with all the Austin wips in my notes this is my first one to be posted, wow idk makes me nervous 😅 yall I hope I did our sweet boy justice.

No description of ethnicity one comment of complexion that’s it but reader when I write is always written with myself in mind. It’s soooo self indulgent.

this is SUPER self indulgent, So I first thought of this from his interview with Jimmy Kimmel when they asked about the migraines as an excuse not to have sex and of course his response was spot on he said “I don’t know what a migraine is” and Jimmy said “of cour you don’t” lmfao bc idk if I’d even turn him down if I had one!

I had a really bad period of back to back migraines for a couple months and this is what my brain rewarded me with in between one. I really don’t know what this is yall lol so don’t ask idk if I’m actually happy with it but yea lol

I put x reader but idk I guess it can tell be read that way, I don’t have the energy to re write it y’all so

now that I’m starting to feel better I will be catching up on my other wips.

if you like it, love it, fuck with it leave some love. I DO NOT give permission for my shit to be used anywhere by anyone.

🤕

Don’t focus on the pain, don’t focus on the pain she repeated over and over again in her head from under the safety of the soft cool cotton comforter as if it would keep away the pounding pain, protect her from it. 

It would not. 

Even with the house dead silent, the fan on for a little noise and all the black out curtains drawn that her boyfriend insisted he buy when he learned about her diagnosis from childhood- she knew relief would not find her. She shifted trying to readjust and find a more comfortable position to lay in, the little pocket above her head letting much needed cool air into her little bubble. 

She knew a few weeks ago she should have reached out to her neurologist but she’d just been so busy it kept slipping her mind and the aspirin had been holding her over but this? no this one was a monster and it was full peak right now. It started almost a day ago after the LA screening for The Bikeriders and had not gone away.

It didn’t help that they also just got back from the UK press tour. All the flying, the red carpets, the flashing lights and noise was starting to take its toll. Recently her boyfriend of just a little over a year revealed to her how much he enjoyed having her accompany him and how he loves sharing those moment with her. Hence all the traveling she’d done recently at his side. 

They still believed in healthy space but they truly enjoyed being together as much as they could. 

Usually she’d fly out every 2 or so weeks to wherever he was since her job was more flexible, their relationship was long distance since she was still living in New York. Which they’d also discussed changing that status but they both agreed to iron out the plans once the tour was over and he had a few weeks of down time. They figured the actual move would happen after he filmed in NY the end of summer. Knowing summer was her favorite time to be home, ever the thoughtful boyfriend. 

Though she was nervous to tell her family. They adored Austin but they’re a very close family and not seeing them everyday would take a lot of time to adjust to but it was important at this point in their relationship to actually be together. He even mentioned he’d love to look for a New York apartment which she had thought was unnecessary they could just stay with any of her family members when they visited until he reminded her she wouldn’t want her family to know she was his pretty girl who got cock drunk and loud when he fuck her stupid. Yes their own place was necessary. 

She felt a sharp pain at her temple and groaned. It was like her brain was telling her to stop thinking about all the stress and think about the pain she was in, which she didn’t want to do either honestly. She wish she could sleep it off but it was impossible. 

She flipped her pillow to the cool side and once again tried to empty her brain. Deep breaths girl deep breaths, the pain isn’t forever. 

She heard the front door slam shut up, which made her curl up even more in a fetal position and the deep smooth voice of her favorite person calling out to her. That voice was her favorite in the whole world but right now she needed silence. She had hoped the migraine would have been over by the time he got back but she wasn’t so lucky. Now she would have to face the music.

She had been telling him the past couple weeks it was just little headaches nothing serious, he knew she got migraines but hadn’t experienced any with her so far. The past 2 years she hadn’t needed to be medicated, the doctor couldn’t tell her why they suddenly stoped and why she was only getting little headaches every once in a while. This is why she was so unprepared and completely out of her medication she hadn’t needed in so long; she truly thought they had finally stopped for good. 

She couldn’t have been more wrong with the pain that was throbbing in her head. The front of her skull a constant ache and the back at the base of her skull and neck a wicked throbbing. The pain in her neck and shoulders unbearable even right between her eyes a sharp pain. She felt like she was dying. The fatigue of the attack her body was under was starting to catch up to her. She was trying to hold back the tears but the sound of boots pounding up the stairs along with the call of baby had her on the verge of a tearful melt down. 

She wanted to avoid the conversation that would surely come after this, when he would witness her in a peak migraine state. She felt horrible because she knew he’d feel like it was his fault for encouraging her to come with him to all the press events but it wasn’t his fault. 

She was an adult and she should have addressed this weeks ago with him and her doctor when the headaches started and not try to hide it to avoid worrying him. 

She should have been honest and though she has no reason to be she was scared to tell him.  She was scared he may think she wasn’t able to handle this kind of life. What if he wanted someone who didn’t need to recharge so often? Or someone who could just do anything with him at anytime not be laying in a bed sometimes for more then a day in pain and grumpy. Someone who couldn’t be touched in this state or be the prefect girlfriend. 

She also knew she sounded ridiculous that wasn’t who Austin was but it didn’t stop the insecurity she had about her migraines and how they held her back from life sometimes. Held her back from being fully emerged into his lifestyle. The guilt wrecked her. 

She knew she was mostly feeling insecure about her migraines because of those comments. She wasn’t normally insecure but recently she had read some comments which usually don’t bother her, about her and Austin’s relationship and how unhappy she looked being on press tour and if she was so unhappy why not just leave so he could be with someone who was happier with him. Those people obviously ignored the photos that were not taking at events that showed how happy they were but not knowing or they probably didn’t care she couldn’t be happier than she was, she was just suffering from more frequent migraines. 

So of course they’d focus on the bad, not all the fans but some. A lot of fans, who she felt were real fans could simply see how happy Austin seemed again. She knew how that felt, she met Austin as a fan and all his relationships and flings after Vanessa seemed lackluster and without any real connection, so she got it. But some of the comments were really getting to her at this moment. Especially the ones about how he looked happier with Kaia (which she knew was a lie from hell, she heard all about that relationship from Austin, his last ex) and then the ones about Vanessa looking happy ALL the time, which was funny because Austin spoke to her about their relationship also and if fans only knew it wasn’t always perfect, yes they loved each other but still there was a lot of hurt in that relationship for Austin. 

Then when those things would pop up she’d think what she’d say to her mans ex’s if she ever met them or if she’d just ignore them. 

Her head throbbed hard from all the unnecessary thinking and stress she was bringing onto herself, things she normal never paid any mind when the bedroom door swung open. 

Baby? He called again, steps coming to a slow stop halfway into the room when she assumed he noticed the state of the room; all the curtains drawn, the TV and lights all off, no noise but the fan she placed near the bed even though the central air was on and the pile of blankets on the bed covering her balled up body. Not a single part of her visible as she quickly stuck her hand out the air pocket at by her head careful to not let any light in and weakly waved at him. She could hardly speak let alone move her head to acknowledge him anymore. 

“Baby you still in bed? It’s 10” He asked as he walked closer, not that he cared it was just unusual for her and caused a bit of concern to form in the pit of stomach. 

He watched the head or he’s assuming area of the blanket shake in a yes motion. Even with the black out curtains there was still just enough light to make out everything in the room. 

“Baby what’s wrong” he asked in a soft voice from the edge of the bed, his hand running gently up and down some part of her body under the blanket. Her body coiled away from his touch. He tried to shake away the slight sting it caused him.

“uh migraine” she whispered weakly, if he wasn’t mistaken he could hear the underlying embarrassment in her tone. What could she be embarrassed about? 

“Oh shit baby, you need anything? Anything I can do?” He genuinely asked in gentler tone, though she couldn’t see how his eyes soften knowing she was probably in an immense amount of pain. 

He felt useless. 

“Uh no, just gotta be left alone for a while” this time there wasn’t any embarrassment in her tone just guilt. 

Austin tried to school his own face and tone of disappointment. He know he couldn’t do anything truly to make it go way but he wanted to help, wanted to be there for her like she’d been there for him on all his overwhelming days and nights from filming and traveling. His sweet girl deserved that. Then he thought back to this one thing he’d came across when he was reading online about migraines when she first told him she got them pretty frequently in the past. He quickly dismissed that idea, a slight blush creeping up his neck, he felt a little embarrassed himself for even thinking to suggest that, who says that to their partner Austin? He thought. She clearly needed to be alone. 

“Ok I’m just head downstairs then, call me if you need anything”  

He took another moment eyeing her blanket fortress before turning and slowly heading Towards their bedroom door.

“Austin?” He heard her call shyly, her voice still muffled from the layers covering her.

“Yea?” His own tone was laced with curiosity.

“Uh…there…there is one thing you could probably do for me…if you don’t mind..if you do it’s ok-“ 

He was quick to be at her side, slipping out his shoes, ready for whatever. His stomach burned a little thinking she may ask what he thought of just briefly a moment ago.

“Anything” 

He watched her baby blue fresh set of nails slip from under the blanket and her hand reaching out for his. His own large hand was in hers before he even registered it moving. She tugged him lightly, his body following gently. He was careful not to touch her as he laid next to her, his chest near where her head was, he remembered her saying how she didn’t like to be touched when she was having an episode, everything felt more intense and for some reason it usually amplified the pain. 

“Can I use your hand for a while?” She asked shyly still under the safety of the blankets, he could hear her clearer through the hole she left at the top. 

He felt guilty at the blood that rushed his cock.

“Of course” He said squeezing the right hand that held his left one. 

He allowed her to maneuver his hand so that his left hand was under her head, she placed his fingers at the base of her skull, thumb on one side and his fore finger and pointer finger on the left side.

“Can you keep your fingers like this and apply as much pressure as you can? This are some of my pain points and the right kind of pressure can ease the pain a little, usually I tie a scarf but it isn’t always helpful” she mumbled weakly. 

He was confused. 

“Oh ok..I..I thought-“ 

This wasn’t something he read, though he seen something about heat compress. He was confused because he thought she was going to ask for his hand to give her an orgasm. That was something interesting that he had came across. It said it didn’t work for everyone hence why he was slightly embarrassed to suggest it, he didn’t want her to think he was only thinking with his dick. 

He applied the pressure anyway, happy to help anyway he could.

“Is that good baby?”

“You can press a bit harder” 

He did as she said, feeling her body adjust just the tiniest bit next to him. A soft sigh leaving her lips.

She soft voice thanked him. He hummed a response, his own body adjusting slightly to get more comfortable.  He would lay here as long as she needed.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she called his name.

“Yea?” He asked feeling more tired himself than what he thought he was when he got home.

“What were you going to say? When I asked for your hand?” She replied softly voice full of the need for sleep.

His felt that fire and a blush come back. He chuckled to himself. Now was good as anytime to confess his unconventional suggest and figure out if it was something helpful to her or if it was something she even heard of before. 

“Uh..I..I had been reading about migraines when you first told me you got them, trying to understand them better-“ He was cut off by a whimper she made, a pitiful sound of endearment. He knew what she was thinking, she was taken back by his willingness to be there for her however he could and that meant trying to understand what she would be going through. He kept going. “And I was reading how orgasms can sometimes help temporarily, but I didn’t want you to think I was just thinking with my dick” he concluded softly. Feeling better about just getting it out and in the open, it didn’t feel so dirty anymore, like he was taking advantage somehow. He knew her better than to think she would think that but it didn’t stop his insecurities about the topic. 

He felt her body stilled.

shit was she mad at him? He felt the slight unease creep into his stomach and his insecurities intensify at the thought that she would be mad at him for suggesting such a thing when he noticed her right hand slip from under the covers. 

Her soft palm facing up and open in a silent question and permission, are you still willing? And of course you can touch me. 

He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding and gave her his right hand, her soft fingers gently pulled his under the covers, her forearm resting ontop of his own as she slipped his hand under hers to be guided where he couldn’t see. Once his rough fingers tips ghosted over her wet pussy he didn’t need anymore guidance, he knew her too well, maybe better than she knew herself. 

She gasped at the first touch and her hand left his to grip his forearm, as he’d started to explore her wet folds.

“How are you this wet already sweet girl? Hmm? Just can’t help yourself around daddy?” Austin questioned softly from above her, awe clear in his voice. He stayed laid on his left side, careful his body other than his hands didn’t touch her. 

“Fuck” she groaned quietly from under the blankets. “Guess my body always needs you daddy” she moaned out. He groaned as his fingers applied more pressure and speed. 

He felt the twitch in cock as she coated his fingers and moaned softly and weakly. His fingers switching between slow and quick. He was so painfully hard. He had to stay focus this was about her but how could he when her tight wet warm pussy was calling him? Begging for him. Her body was hardly moving just her hips grinding slowly into him.

Even fully covered by a ton of blankets he was still completely in-tune with her body. He didn’t need to see her face though he wished he could to kiss her soft lips, to know the pleasure he was giving her, to know she was close. 

He blindly felt the warmth and wetness of her pussy driving into his hand slowly chasing the pleasure he was somehow able to provide in this state.

“Cum for me pretty girl, take it” he groaned lowly.

She moaned out, she sounded so exhausted and pitiful but he could tell she wanted this, needed it and he was more than happy to give it to her. 

She squealed softly as she rocked against his hand, her body exploding and the sweetness of her drenching his fingers, her face seeking the comfort of his embrace under the blanket, he moved over slightly as his left hand still pressed to the pain points guided her, help her her blanket covered forehead lay against his chest. Her hips kept rocking slowly chasing the feeling.

“There you go baby” his husky voice praised even with a migraine she was still his good girl. So wet and warm and tight for him.

Moments passed with his fingers still cupping her warm sticky folds and the other still applying the pressure she required, neither hand moved as he felt her drift of to sleep, her body finally relaxing from the endorphins of her orgasm. 

Austin woke to the press of a soft warm body slightly on top of his and light kisses and licks against his neck. He stirred and tried to adjust his eyesight to the darkness that had over taking the room. It must be late.

“Hey baby” her voice sounded softly, her lips suddenly near his own. She kissed his plump mouth, pecking kisses over and over. She sounded a lot better.

His arms moved to embrace her, pulling her further ontop of him and as close as he could get her. 

“Hey baby” he replied his eyes seeking hers. The dimmed light from the hallway allowed him to finally see her. Though he didn’t physically see her face earlier, he knew she looked more well rested than she had in the past day or two. Her eyes had a fatigue to them but he was sure that would clear up from the migraine once she got some more rest. All and all she almost looked back to her normal self. 

Her hand snaked up his chest to cup his face.

“Thank you, for everything” she told him a little emotionally.

He brought his lips to her for a passionate kiss, before laying his foreheads on hers.

“You don’t ever have to thank me, I’m yours, that’s what I’m here for, to take care of you” he whispered against her lips.

She pecked his again. 

“And I’m still going to say thank you” she mumbled.

He pinched her side playfully as she laughed and pushed at him.

They just gazed at one another and she had to blink to stop the tears. She had woke to Austin on his back, her body against his. She had unconsciously sought his while she slept as the tension faded from her body and to her surprise his hand was still gripping the back of her head. The pressure had loosed when he eventually fell asleep but his hand was still there nonetheless. She didn’t think she could love the man more and here she was slipping further in the ocean that was Austin and some how she was learning she could breathe underwater. He was everything to her.

“I have a surprise for you sweet boy” she said smiling at him like he hung the moon and she’d die on that hill that he did.

Austin’s chest ached in a good way. He never wanted this to end. Couldn’t imagine it being any other way. Everything that had failed for him relationship wise lead him to this moment with her. He was better for it. 

“Hmm, what’s that?” 

She nodded her head to the side of him and that’s when he noticed the en-suite bathroom door open and the soft glow of candles burning. The scent of oils and salts hitting him. He quickly turned back to her.

“Wh-“ 

“You were knocked out and I wanted to return the love” 

“You little sneak” he accused tickling her sides.

She was quick to scramble away from his hold and climb over him getting to her feet and out of his grasp when his hands followed her as she head toward the bathroom.

She stopped short of the door as she pulled her oversize graphic shirt over her head. 

“I would do that you know, sometimes, never with men though, I hated being touched during my migraines but when it was really bad and I had the energy I would do it myself to help ease the pain” she spoke from the doorway to the bathroom, the soft light surrounding her body, giving a even more beautiful glow to her brown skin. “I didn’t think it would ever work from someone else’s hand, not too sure what that means handsome” she smirked.

So she had done that before he thought but just never with man, no man had ever made her comfortable enough to try let alone achieve bringing her relief. Austin felt those butterflies in this stomach again, he felt a sense a pride swell in his chest. His cock was even stirring again. That’s exactly who he wanted to be for her, the man that gave what she needed, what others couldn’t, he wanted to be the one no other man could compare to. He wanted to be her all.

She smirked at him almost as if she could read his every thought and she could because they mirror her own and how she felt about him.

“Lets go loverboy, it’s time for the real show” 

X

X

ALSO yall don’t have to say anything abt it but i find it helps SOMETIMES but alone so I thought who could make this work for me with another person of course our boy Austin could bc he’s so perfect. He’s the only one I’d let touch me with a migraine lol

[roomwithanopenfire]

Stats Sunday

(no banner today bc my laptop sometimes does this weird thing where it won't let me upload files and i don't feel like restarting it rn)

Hi! Thanks to @brilla-brilla-estrellita for the tag!

April has been a weird month for writing, but sharing my graphs and stuff is always fun for me (and hopefully you) even though I didn't work on like ANY of my preexisiting wips last month. As always, this post is long, expect stats, graphs, and musings under the cut. (No snippets today tho)

I posted zero fics in April which is understandable given that I have been SO busy lately with school and stuff.

Total words written for April: 22725 (this is the most words i've written in any month this year so far....)

Days I met my writing goal (200 words): 11

Days I didn't write or edit anything: 18 (this month has def been the worst month in terms of consistency bahaha)

Day I wrote the most: Apr 18th with 5957 words (this is the highest daily word count of the year, very abnormal for me, i went insane for a couple of days)

Number of Fics worked on: 1 fic plus one scrapped idea (LITERALLY ONLY 1 FIC AND IT'S NOT ANY OF MY WIPS)

Daily Average: 757 words (but this is a lie, most days i wrote 0 words lol. check out my graph)

I feel like this does not showcase enough how insane i felt on the 18th. Check out this quick graph i made of my daily WC for the whole year...

the spike is insaneee. Let's see my not-very-exciting pie graph i've created and see what i've been working on

No familar wips here. not either of the COBBs that I should be finishing (last years and this years 😭), or the COSW fic that I promise i'll finish eventually, but just 1000 words of a scrapped project and like 20k+ worth of a shiny new idea. The document is titled GET OUT OF MY HEAD because I was just going to write the scenes that were stuck in my head, but, like, it's still in my head and is getting more and more complex and complicated, but i haven't been writing it as much the past few days and i miss the writing demon that was inside of me, come back. channel more words through me please. let me write 6k in a day again, i miss you.

And this fic is not even for a fandom i've written for before, this is uncharted territory. i'm sure that just by glancing at my blog you can guess which new fandom this is for loll. we'll see how far i get on this wip. i've been writing scenes out of order as they come to me, but now i'm losing some steam so i have to decide if i actually want to put the work into making this something. And I think I do. Despite orginally writting it to get it out of my head, it is still very much in there. Taking up space.

And some life update news, the month of April has been pretty good to me. I got a year older, finally figured out my summer job, and i am getting an A in all my classes (at least, most likely. I still have one final left that I could bomb, but it's open-note so i'm not too worried). I have one week left at school, and then I'm home for the summer. (Which I have a whole ton of mixed feelings about. I love being home, but I also feel so much more me when I'm at school. But I'm excited to be making money again omggg.) also just yesterday the girl i have a crush on asked me out so eeeeee. very exciting

tags and hellos

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @argumentativeantitheticalg @artsyunderstudy @arthurkko

@blackberrysummerblog @best--dress @bookishbroadwayandblind @bookish-bogwitch @the-beard-of-edward-teach

@cccloudsss @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla @drowninginships @facewithoutheart

@emeryhall @fiend-for-culture @hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife

@theimpossibledemon @jyae23 @larkral @lovelyladzzzz @lovelettersto-mars

@m1ndwinder @monbons @nausikaaa @noblecorgi @orange-peony

@prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles @rbkzz

@shrekgogurt @simonscones @skeedelvee @supercutedinosaurs @sweetronancer

@talentpiper11 @thewholelemon @valeffelees @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe 

please let me know if you'd rather not be tagged in just stats with no writing. or if you'd rather not be tagged at all. no hard feelings if you'd rather not get the notif <3

[chevvy-ryder]

WIP Wednesday Whenever

Got tagged by @elvenbeard! ich danke mal wieder! <3

—

GENERAL:

Thought a lot this week and I set myself a goal for 2024: to be more structured with content for CP77 so I do not loose my passion for it. First I made a decision to only boot my laptop when:

I have an actual idea in mind I desperately want to vp. This used to be the case at the start of the year but along the way it seems I've lost it and instead only piled up my ideas …

in order of finishing a chapter for the 2078 story as some vp is to be added to support the written text (my friend and I share the vp work here too).

if I get asked directly by a modder to take shots for mods.

I just want to play the game ffs (which is rare in itself).

Don't want to force myself anymore to boot up the game each weekend, so that I have some content to post and keep up with this fast living fandom, as it produces vp and mods it feels like close to mass production.

I want to share quality in my content and not end up in just doing quantity. Which means I have to learn to stay more focused on what I want to create in the first place and one after another. This includes get less distracted which includs less browsing my dash and also be less on discord (servers).

So if you really want me to see your content:

a. tag me directly in your post (I do not mind being tagged!) b. send me a link via dm/discord c. use the tag: #chevvy-yates as I will follow this tag from now on.

Hope you understand my own problem and respect my decision, but I have to change something. The least I want is having you think I do not like your content anymore or I do ignore you. If you feel like I do, feel free to tell me about it! Sometimes I do not notice it myself.

Enough of that — now back to a bit content:

— VP/GRAPHICS:

I'll post this boy again tomorrow 🤍

and once I am able to push the button he will be back with lightning:

I reworked these two spotify covers for my two hc radio stations:

they look like this now:

Decided to place Ry's face into them bc they are made for him anyways. At first my intention was to stay more casual but didn't like the simplicity of pic + station icon/logo. Even tho I liked the concept with the chain boots a lot I've felt it doesn't have a reference to 'hell' and 'tech' as soon as I went to make the cover for my chrome chamber Rave playlist. Which lets me come to the next thing I sat down for a few days. I made a cover and moodboards for Hell Bunker/Chrome Chamber Rave:

SNIPPET:

a part of the Ryder oneshot I'm also still on:

His thumb keeps browsing his phone like it has its own life and a long moment later Ry catches himself now browsing his contact list. He didn’t want to call anyone specifically, also not around this time. He just keeps randomly scrolling the alphabet until he arrives at ‘T’. A smile steals onto his lips as he reads the same name, he spoke aloud prior, on his screen and pictures rush through his slightly tipsy mind. Long gone memories of his first clubbing experiences in Berlin. Back then he always had to be home around midnight. Both his legs still have some post-response to the last song he was raving to in the underground, making it impossible for him to sit quiet at all so he jumps up into a standing position and yells “I rave as fucking long as I want to—” There’s a long pause until he continues low “—like you always wished for me, Tommy …” Saying his first love’s name aloud for a second time now makes his smile on his dark contoured lips fade quickly. It’s the moment where Ryder senses that, after nearly 10 years, he still misses him. His thumb has already pressed the contact number and his hand moves up to hold the phone onto his ear. Ryder doesn’t think about his movements at all, his mind just froze in the moment as he moves mechanically. Only when hears the ‘Connection unavailable,’ it pulls him back from wherever he has been to. His right arm falls back into a hanging position, leaving him just standing there in the street. Deine Nummer ist seit jeher noch gleich, doch unter dieser scheiß Nummer werd’ ich dich nie wieder erreichen, wanders through Ry’s mind. Denn da wo du bist, geht keiner ran. Da ist kein Empfang. Ry’s phone is not the phone he used to have back then but he never cared about deleting any numbers at all and so they moved to the next phone and the next one after that and so on.

I tag all that recently reblogged me and those who come to my mind rn: @wraithsoutlaws, @therealnightcity, @dreamskug, @caer-oswin, @ @alphanight-vp, @kdval, @kittenchrissy, @gloryride, @rosapexa, @wanderingaldecaldo, @aggravateddurian, @streetkid-named-desire @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @pinkyjulien, @medtech-mara, @heywoodvirgin, @genocidalfetus, @ouroboros-hideout, @aggravateddurian, @ne0n-rust, @a-pirate, @breezypunk @peaches-n-screem, @jaymber, @lokiina, @shivsghost, @miss--river, @t0tentanz, @cyberpunkaddict, @cinnamon-mey, @spicyraeman, @fereldanwench @86maylin and @morganlefaye79 – also everyone who likes to do a WIP Wesdnesday/Whenever and as always and no pressure! I tagged more this time just to make sure u got notice of my decision in 'general' and that I intend to use my name as a tag now

[wa-royal-tea]

I'm back! Kinda + What I've been up to + Timezone Change, Story Posting Update

Heyyyy thur guys! I’m back, kinda. Sorry it took me a while to update you guys on what I’ve been working on, life has been extra busy since July 31st for me 💀 I won't post a story update yet as I still have things to do but I mightttt return by the end of September.

If you wanna know what I've been up to, read under the cut. Just a warning, it's pretty long 💀

I have an update on what I've been working on irl and it's kind of an exciting news, at least for me lol. So, in case anyone is wondering what I've been up to, I'm actually preparing to further my Masters overseas and this plan has been a wip since last year. I've been studying for my IELTS because the universities I've applied to requires me to take it. And then I had my graduation ceremony for my Bachelor's Degree after waiting for SO long bcs of Covid. It was one of the happiest day in my life bcs I got the Vice Chancellor's award!!! Sorry for the bragging there, I'm just so proud of myself :') I worked my ass off to maintain my CGPA every semester so getting that award really felt like all of that hard work was worth it :')

After all that is done, I applied to the Uni's that I wanted and surprisingly, all the Uni's I applied to gave me an offer which is pretty neat! I accepted one of the offers and then I had to look for a sponsorship.

I kept it a hush-hush kind of thing and only told several of my close friends about what I was planning to do bcs it was something that I wasn't sure that I'll be getting so anytime that I was taking a "break", I was actually working on this in the background (had to attend zoom interviews with the Uni's. Doing the tasks in order to get an interview invite etc.). It was a stressful process but yeah, this is what I've had planned for me when I was younger so I was determined to make it happen no matter what! Your girl is not one to give up easily! 😤

So around June this year, the sponsorship that I've been aiming for opened and I applied for it, got the results that I had been offered a full-ride sponsorship on July 31st and everything became so busy for me because I had to prepare the necessary documents to be sent to the sponsorship board. It was an exhausting process as I had to make sure that everything is prepared perfectly so there wouldn't be any problems and so far, alhamdulillah, everything has been going well. I had my visa done, I secured a place to stay during the duration of my studies, all the documents were sent at the end of last week. But preparing all of these took a toll on my energy and I simply don't have the energy to open my game or even open blender to work on my story. But I have been writing the scripts and all so yeah, the story is still running in the background. I did find some little time to work on poses but I worked on a few before I stopped because I was too tired hahaha.

Anyways, only a few people knew what I was working on while I was on this break. Shoutout to Miss Wheat knee and Gigi for being patient with me replying to their discord messages late everyday 😭 And thank you for giving me your emotional support and encouragement! A huge thank you to both Miss Devilled Eggs and Wheat knee for helping me in my process of applying to the Uni's from helping me brush up my English for my IELTS during one of our previous calls, and for helping me with my Piece to Camera video practice for my Uni interviews. I really, greatly, am thankful to you guys for that. And to Wheat knee, thank you for believing in me when I was overthinking stuff thinking I wouldn't get the offers sfkhskl I really appreciate you for that 😢

And with that, I would like to update you guys that my posting time will be changing as I will be moving to London for my studies. So my timezone will no longer be GMT+8 :') It will be GMT+1 as of September 28th. Aside from that, my postings won't be regular too, I'll be updating whenever I can as I'll probably be busy with my studies and all. So, wish me luck! I'm a bit anxious about this so I hope I'll do well :')

Thank you to all my readers who are still there for me since day 1, you all are the best! And sorry that the story will take a while to be completed, I'll try my best to still work on it bcs I love it too much to just leave it like that 😭

That's all I guess! Thank you again for reading this if you are reading it lol.

Love,

Nina ❤

[nikialexx]

Hi! I recently went back to reread Affairs on AO3 and I absolutely love it, are you still planning on continueing the series? No rush at all honestly I just wanna know what to expect bc it has indeed been a year and a half since you updated👀 I've been going back and forth on weather to ask you or not cause I don't want to come off as mean, but the last couple of days all I've been doing is thinking about this au so I just gotta know. I've read a few of your fics and I'm absolutely in love with your writing, I just wanted you to know that i appreciate you as an author and am silently hoping for more sugar baby Remus.

Hope you have a good day♥️♥️

hi! don't worry, you didn't come across as mean at all and considering i did indeed promise not to make y'all wait another year and a half just to end up doing exactly that, this is a well deserved call out 😅. because you asked so nicely i will include a little snippet at the end of this post, from what i've written so far :)

i really don't have much of an excuse for not having it posted by now though. i did spend most of last year working on another fic (darling, so it goes) and then i told myself i'd take a little break before getting back into Affairs, and then somehow 6 months went by and, well...

if i'm being honest? i really just wasn't in the mood. i've opened the document and written a not-insignificant portion of it, but it's nothing that's ready to be published yet, and i lacked the motivation to continue. it's not that I've fallen out of love with Affairs, because i haven't. all my other wip's have been getting the same treatment these past 6 months.

i will still keep to my personal rule of not promising a date for the next update, because i'll feel even worse if something happens and i don't make it. but i will promise to get myself up off my ass and actively start writing Affairs again.

and, as promised, as an apology for breaking my last promise not to keep you guys waiting so long, here is the snippet of part 3 under the cut:

***

He cuts himself off, embarrassed at his own ridiculous ineloquence, and tries again, ignoring the way his cheeks feel hotter at the sound of each word passing through his lips. “I really want to kiss you.”

Sirius doesn’t seem startled by the words at all. If anything, he seems quietly pleased. He looks at Remus, considering, and then he smiles, slow and indulgent.

“So kiss me, then,” he says, and Remus blinks at him. 

He almost hesitates again… but it has been three weeks since he last saw Sirius, three weeks since he was last pulled into Sirius’ embrace and felt the taste of Sirius’ lips against his own, and his desire to remedy this fact supersedes all other thoughts in his mind. He leans forward, and Sirius doesn’t mimic the action but rather stays so still that he might as well be a statue, and Remus knows that he’s going to have to work for this kiss. They’ve played this game before, of Sirius refusing to initiate, trying to pull Remus out of his shell and get him to be more open about his own wants. It’s one of Sirius’ favourite games to play with him.

So Remus kisses him. 

He is hesitant at first, awkward and fumbling in the confines of the backseat, limited by the way he needs to twist his torso into a slightly uncomfortable position. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he leaves them resting, uncertain, on his lap instead, and he feels a sudden flare of panic that the three weeks apart have somehow broken them, that whatever easy, natural intimacy they’d shared in the months prior has left and been replaced with this. 

He starts to pull away, and is stopped by Sirius’ hand beneath his chin, the lightest touch, but enough that it instantly grounds him. “Don’t,” Sirius murmurs, their lips still close enough that they brush together, Sirius' breath meeting with his. He trails an equally faint finger along Remus’ jaw, down the line of his neck and over his collarbone. Remus feels like he’s being burnt from the inside, and he feels the stirrings of arousal flaring through him. Sirius bites down on Remus’ bottom lip and uses his hand to encircle Remus’ neck, squeezing, still with the barest amount of pressure, just enough to tease, just enough to have Remus wishing he'd do more. And then he kisses him. Remus gasps, his lips parting, and Sirius takes immediate advantage of it, darting his tongue into the open space to flicker over Remus’. He deepens the kiss, his hold on Remus’ neck never wavering, and Remus leans into it, leans into him, intoxicated by the heady feeling it brings on. His pulse is racing, and he knows that he’s hard, can feel his cock pressing against the fabric of his sweats and the almost painful tension in the pit of his stomach, but he doesn’t dare touch himself or do anything to alleviate it. He focuses, instead, on every point of contact Sirius’ body is making with his own. The air in the car is almost too hot. He feels like an idiot for having considered that the intensity of their attraction to each other could ever waver. How could he have forgotten the way that kissing Sirius feels like being pulled beneath a tidal wave? How could he have doubted it would always feel that way? 

When they resurface, both of them breathing hard, they are turning onto Sirius’ street.

Sirius doesn’t release him. 

“How tired are you?” he murmurs, and there is something to the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes, that is all too familiar.

Sirius’ grip on his throat tightens when Remus doesn't answer quickly enough, just barely, but enough that Remus’ breath catches. He looks down, and then raises his eyes to look up at Sirius through his eyelashes.

“Not at all, Sir.”

[sweetnsaltynsournspicy]

WIP Nudity another paper doll bc i used all my juice on that last peice- mostly just a scar map before i play dressup and also a longwinded rant about the minecraft movie video and the CANNONICAL MPREG???? JOOFY??? SIR???

Modern ish base au type joofy VS "dear god this man has never had a good day in his life" video joofy. seriosuly though this man is always in the situation of all time. how is he still full of girlish whimsey. he really is like "on the verge of tears but we stay silly :3 but we stay silly :3 but we-"

also its small are you cant really see it but this is on both of them

Im not letting him forget the godamn minecraft movie- im making him a single father at every opportunity. you dont get to make mpreg cannon and a major plot point and then just like move past it. like no no hold on no wait no your telling me... your in a breeding prison with your rival and the guard says "fuck or die" and then it cuts to black and we come back to your rival going "WOW THAT FELT GREAT CAN WE DO IT AGAIN" and then you go "I GAVE BIRTH" AND THEN THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A SON IS A KEY PLOT POINT THAT LEADS TO YOU SACRIFICING YOURSELF AND YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR YOUR SON??????? ok actually i might put this on the other acount just for that because WHAT W H A T i mean props to you king hell yeah "any guy can be babygirl but it takes a man to be a single mother"

BUT WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR RIVAL GOING "wow ;) your good ;) maybe we can do that again sometime ;)" ??????? and also the fact that HE GOT PREGNANT????? HE BOTTOMS???? OR AT LEAST GOT PENATRATED????? its been like a week since i watched the video and im still thinking about it. like i first watched it and was like "ayo? hold up- ok were moving on alright sure yeah hahah funny sex joke back to the kids brainrot" BUT THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND LIKE HUH????? ill be honest this has changed from a "look at my doll before i put him in silly outfits :3" post to a "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES CANNON MPREG BOTTOM JOOFY?????? HUH????????????? H U H????????????????????????" post BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME??????? WHAT THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THAT?????????? also gamerboi jr is NOT their son i thought he was but then his mom showed up so gamerboi has two children and given the fact that he seems to have a relatively good relationship with both of them and dosent like arguing in front of them seems to be a good dad. They are bitter exes who barely tolerate eachother to me. great parents they just cannot be in the same room for more than 5 minutes and try to do drop offs as quickly as possible. Also tbh im just as confused about the birth as he is in that video bc he distinctly says "but we're both guys" in response to the "produce a child" thing wich implies that it should be biologically impossible. The three options ive got currently are 1. Trans man who is going to have some WORDS with his bottom surgery provider 2. Omega (the funniest one) 3. Intersex, Chimerism (ate his sister in the womb but didnt finish the job). Its what im going with for a few reasons but the other two options are also valid as hell and honestly i wanna see more of them. spesifically the omega one because its funny as fuck. especially if its JUST HIM. everyone else is like a normal human its only him. like "oh yeah im going into heat soon" and everyone whips their heads around like "wghat"

[asterekmess]

A Bit of a Conundrum

I've been waffling about this for a long time, and as I've already vented about it to my discord, I wanted to open it up to a possibly larger audience of my readers. And also complain about it more. XD I write. A lot. I have. A LOT of writing. We're talking like more than 2 dozen wips sitting in my google docs, some with 14k, some with 114k words in them. Some with a specific ending in mind, some with no plot beyond what's already written. Fuck dude, some aren't even Sterek/TW! I was fortunate enough to have someone go on my ko-fi and do a monthly donation to me for a few months. They stopped, which I'll never be mad at, but having them there at all, having someone say "I'd like to support your writing just for the sake of supporting it" meant a huge amount to me, and it made me think about all of my wips.

I don't post often, or regularly, or..well at all, for months and months at a time. This is because I almost only ever post fics when they're done. it's a personal rule of mine, and not one I used to follow when i first started writing fic. It's one I came up with shortly after finishing "Wanted" bc I felt terrible and pressured when I had to take breaks during that fic and when I couldn't keep up with a regular schedule for people. And for a long time it was a good rule for me. It helped me not to feel pressured or overwhelmed by the worry of abandoning a project on ao3 and getting bombarded with comments asking where the next chapter is. But as I've continued writing over the years, my wips have gotten more numerous, while my posted work continues to trickle in. I'm a chronic long-fic writer (though my currently posted fics don't reflect that), which means it takes way more time for me to finish a fic than it does for me to get distracted coming up with a NEW idea for a fic. It's hard to finish work. But that doesn't mean I don't love my wips. They're incredible. Some of them contain some of the best stuff I feel I've ever written. Poignant words and phrases and meaningful moments. And looking around at them, I realized that anyone who goes to support me on my ko-fi, or considers following me on Ao3, or even just subscribes to a series, isn't really getting to see what I"m actually doing. They see a fic posted every 9 months, or every year. There's no real indication that anything they do is helping me regularly, that they're even supporting a Current Active writer. In light of that, I've been considering starting to post wips of mine. The problems with that are numerous and a bit overwhelming, hence wanting to hear others' opinions and vent about it ad nauseum. I've got lots of wips, and if I were to start posting them, I wouldn't want to toss the whole wip out at once. But posting a chapter at a time every few days or even once a week, while it would mean a lot of content coming out, it would be a lot of content that I haven't finished. Cliffhanger chapters, and unfinished stories that I can't promise would ever be finished. And I know I don't owe my readers anything, but it's still unsatisfying to post something without an ending. Then there's the absolute overload of possibly too Much content for people. Getting an e-mail every other day about a new chapter for a fic you've no interest in reading isn't fun. And on top of all that, is the editing. Often when I'm struggling with a fic, I find that i need to go back and change the beginning. In honesty, part of why I wait to post until I'm finished with fics is bc semi-regularly I'll get to the end of a fic, go back to the beginning and edit it all over again to make it more cohesive. To me there is no such thing as a 'finished' chapter. only a finished fic. If I posted as I wrote, then I'd either not be able to go back and edit chapters, or if I DID go back and edit my chapters, they would then need updated, and people who'd read the first 4 chapters of something would end up needing to reread the fic to get the full sense of what I'm doing. But at the same time, posting my wips would mean finally getting to share some stuff that's been gathering dust for years in some cases, finally getting to see people's reactions to them. Finally getting to know that even if I don't end up finishing it, at least people can enjoy what's already been written. And of course, finally getting to show people that when they support me through donations or comments or what-have-you, they're supporting an Active writer, supporting work being made every day, even if it's not FINISHED every day. All of these things are stuff I'm trying to take into consideration, and it's been a hell of a struggle. Plus, as I'm unfortunately trying to manage doing a part-time job rn, just getting up the energy for this stuff is a big BIG task.

If you've got any thoughts or strategic ideas, I'd love to hear them. If not, s'all good, I mostly just wanted to vent. XD

[kivaember]

👀!! but also, 🎯?

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Interestingly, not many people have made in depth guesses about major major plot points for APV! I am curious to hear people's theories though, if only to see if the foreshadowing I lay down it getting picked up...

Otherwise, on my P5 fic To Know Your Target, quite a few people correctly guessed major plot points, which I found really cool! I like it when people can sorta guess where the story is heading, bc it means I'm building it in a coherent kind of way. There's no better feeling for when you guess something will happen and it does!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Oh man I have so many!!! Okay, I have one wip that's like two thirds done... it's a oneshot (a big one rip) that's post LoR. It follows 621 hunting amongst the wreckage of the Xylem for Walter's AC, mostly because he's kinda lost on what to do with himself and also bc he wants to give it a funeral. Rusty, still horribly injured from his fall fromthe Xylem, hijacks an RLF MT and follows him there...

The fic's most about discussing 621 and Rusty's different approaches to grief and moving on and the like... and hilariously, as I was writing it, 621 ended up being a lot more emotionally intelligent than Rusty was...

Have a snippet :) as a treat!

He rounded a collapsed pile of masonry and shattered glass, some sort of towering roof structure that had caved in on the deck below. STALKER was standing in the near distance on the very edge of the deck, staring at the slowly approaching supercell. 

Carefully, Rusty piloted his MT to stand beside STALKER, and directed his visual sensors towards the incoming storm. His wipers were going a little crazy now, frantically whipping back and forth to try and outpace the heavy downpour. Beside him, STALKER moved fractionally, its half-rusted joints creaking loudly. 

“...hey,” Rusty murmured. “Aren’t you tired, Raven?”

STALKER’s head angled towards him. 

«Aren’t you tired, Rusty?»

Rusty felt his mouth quirk into a smile. A response, even if it was a mocking (he assumed). He’d take it. “Yeah. I’m pretty exhausted, to be honest.” 

«…then why are you here.»

“Like I said, I came to get you. You’ve been out here for two days. Uncle was getting worried.”

Raven took his time in replying and Rusty patiently waited, ignoring the various aches and pains lancing through his body like razor sharp glass. It was fine. So long as he didn’t bust the stitches from his spleen repair surgery, he should be okay. 

«I’m fine.»

“Sure,” Rusty said. “Just like I’m fine.”

«I wasn’t in a coma for two days after breaking half my bones.»

no, you were just tortured for weeks on end instead, Rusty did not say with some effort. “You still need to eat, right? You’re augmented, but you’re still human.”

Raven didn’t seem to have a ready response for that, so he just didn’t say anything.

“...what’re you even out here for anyways?” Rusty asked, genuinely curious. The Xylem was a marvel of Institute tech, yeah, but most of it was completely ruined from its violent re-entry. Aside from getting blown up and ransacked by invading corporate and Liberation Front forces alike, the seawater filling up half the ship would’ve eaten away at most of the technology by now. 

«…I’m looking for something.» 

“Well… if you’re looking so hard for it, I guess it must be important…” Rusty said slowly. “Maybe I can help?”

«You’re injured and should be resting.»

“You’re injured too.” Rusty’s tone grew solemn. “I know what they do in those re-education camps, Raven.” 

«…»

“You’ve been flat out since you escaped,” Rusty said softly. “Uncle said you only swung by for a day at our base before running off again. If you don’t stop to rest, your body’s just going to give out on you. It’s a pointless way to go.” 

«…»

“Unless that’s what you want?” Rusty asked, and made sure his voice was dispassionately blunt when he added: “Are you just waiting to die?”

The question lingered between them like an ominous shroud. The supercell moved close enough that its thick cloud wall blocked out the sun, dousing them in deep, dark shadow. 

«…no.»

Raven paused, and STALKER kept shifting its weight back and forth, rusted joints screeching and groaning, the AC not built to spend so much time along the seashore, getting sprayed with saltwater and blasted with coastal gusts. It looked like a corpse just barely moving, skeletal, where chunks of its ablative armour had been stripped off from its own re-entry, and the inner hull torn from the tremendous forces it had been under (had never been designed to endure, but had endured anyways). 

There was even a gaping crack in the Core, a sliver where Rusty could peer past the protective armour and see a bit of the Core block that contained the pilot’s cockpit. Red-tinged rainwater was collecting in that crack, pouring out of it like a miniature stream.

«I don’t know what to do.»

It was unexpectedly honest. Vulnerable. Completely out of nowhere. 

“What do you mean?”  

«Before everything went wrong in Institute City, Handler Walter told me what to do. I knew what to expect with each day. I knew what my objectives were. Now, I know nothing. I’m a mercenary with no money or clients, and I have no idea how to get those things myself. I got my life back, like Walter wanted, but there’s nothing in it.»

STALKER’s head bowed. 

«…I have nothing.»

“That’s not true, Raven,” Rusty said gently, taken aback by Raven’s raw honesty, and cursing the awkwardness of having this talk while they were in two separate mechs. Raven was as expressionless as they came, but he could still gauge his human face better than just staring at the side of STALKER’s cracked Core. 

“After saving Rubicon, you’ve definitely got the Liberation Front on your side,” he continued. “And, for what it’s worth, I’ve got your back too. I know you won’t trust that, considering what happened before Institute City but, I mean it. I was-”

He drew in a slow breath, before admitting quietly: “I was wrong about you. You weren’t a threat to be eliminated, and I acted too hastily in my judgement of you. I’m sorry.”

«It’s fine. You weren’t exactly wrong. I was a threat.»

“...? What do you-”

A flash of scarlet lightning lit up the horizon, followed by a booming thunder that rattled Rusty’s very bones and briefly deafened him. He couldn’t help but wince. 

«I’m looking for Walter,» Raven said in an unexpected non-sequitur, forcibly dropping the last topic. «His corpse is on this ship somewhere.»

[magicalmischel]

Hiiii!! For the WIP game: please tell me about Layers of Dusk and also obviously Suddenly Flames Everywhere 👀👀 And also the trans!Merlin fic if you're up for it because I know you've been working on that one lately and I'm VERY curious about it 👀👀👀😘

hiiii! 💖 thanks for asking about all of them!! 😂💖 I'll give you the summaries and snippets!

Layers of Dusk

this one is so "old" that I even made a fic cover for it to post on fanfiction.net but obviously that never happened 😂 also my draft included very bad fanart so maybe when i get back to this wip I could make better art now that I have more practice <3

summary:

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Arthur is dying and Merlin is left with no choice but to take his soul into his body and hope that they both last long enough to perform a necromancy spell. This requires sacrifices, and Merlin will have to learn that sometimes, going too far is not worth it.

I remember I stopped bc I got stuck on a scene with Gaius (or was it Gwen??) one day and I just never continued. I also wasn't sure about the fic's message, bc I felt like it should have a sad ending so that Merlin learns a lesson but also at the same time I really wanted to write a happy ending and I just didn't know what to do basically 😂

snippet:

“O drakon! E male so ftengometta! Tesd’hup’anankes!” The words echo through the silent woods and through Merlin’s mind like a steady, painful reminder of what had happened. He keeps holding onto Arthur -- both his body and his consciousness -- and he finds himself almost unaware of his surroundings, as if trapped in a daze of realization that he was indeed holding Arthur’s dead body. He didn’t dare look down at him. He couldn’t. But he took Arthur’s hand and entwined their fingers, willing himself to believe that the dragon would have a solution. Something difficult, no doubt, but very possible that would fix all this. Merlin didn’t care about the consequences. Oh god. Oh. Arthur’s hand was cold.

oh look a classic case of switching tenses halfway through a scene lmao

Suddenly Flames Everywhere

ajksfljals this fic 😭 the idea was born in summer of 2022, and I wrote the first scene then. Then it lay forgotten until I picked it up for acbb 2023 and I spent the entire summer working on it every single day, I wrote the first draft in a month, then started rewriting the whole thing and that's where I got stuck ;-; I'm "working" now on scene 18 out of 33, so I'm around in the middle of it.

summary:

It all starts with a deal. Arthur will capture the last of the dragons, and in exchange, Uther will give him more time to search for his soulmate. He won’t have to marry princess Elena when she arrives in a few days. Little does Arthur know that the dragon he shoots down is actually a young dragon-man called Merlin, and more importantly — his soulmate. It only gets more complicated from there.

and a snippet:

Only it wasn’t a dragon at all. It looked like a man. Arthur’s eyes widened, his grip on the crossbow faltering. The creature had two large, featherless, dark grey wings, and a long tail. No doubt that it wasn’t human. But it also had a human head. And human hair. Human legs, arms, even human clothes. “That’s no dragon,” he hissed. “It’s Dragonfolk,” Sir Kay whispered back, his crossbow still aimed firmly upwards. “They serve the dragons. Live like animals in small groups. Just as dangerous as the foul beasts themselves, I assure you.”

trans!merlin fic

yep this is the one I'm working on now 💖 Honestly it wasn't going to be published at first, I just had a dream where I was trans!merlin three months ago and woke up inspired and bc I was in the middle of a writer's block, I was very excited about it and wrote the whole first draft in one day. Then I forgot about it for several weeks, then I edited it, hated it, left it alone again, and I re-edited it about three weeks ago and decided I should maybe try to post it, so I reached out and found a few sensitivity readers who gave me some notes and now I'm adding scenes and editing the whole thing again 💖

it doesn't really have a big plot or anything unlike my other wips, the summary basically is just this:

In the medieval world where there are no lgbt resources or language to talk about lgbt topics, this fic depicts Merlin’s journey from realising he’s trans, to coming out to Arthur, and transitioning with the help of magic.

not gonna provide a snippet for this one just yet, but hopefully it should be posted within like . . . a month or two? Depending on how much I procrastinate lmao

thanks so much for asking again! 🥰 and sorry for replying with so much text, you know I talk a lot 😂

[https-hunter]

Find your 3 oldest WIPS. Then list for each:

The inspiration- Why it's still a WIP- Will you finish- Why or why not-

Try not to mean to yourself!

Oh, I love this idea! I’ll include some of the wips themselves, so this may be a long post.

1. The oldest wip I could find was in my notes app, dated to June 2, 2020. It’s a breakfast club one shot, Andy and Allison’s first date.

The day had finally come. The day of Andy and Allison’s first date. Andy has an idea that he felt worked well for both of them. It took him a few days to plan, and he ran it by the rest of the Breakfast Club first, but it was well worth it. When he told them, Claire cried. She thought it was so sweet and was rooting for their relationship 100%. Brian thought it was cute and gave him some facts about where the date was taking place. Bender...well, he made fun of it at first because of how sappy sporto was becoming, but then he got serious and congratulated Andy and gave him only the manliest of hugs, to everyone’s surprise.

Inspo- I actually remember coming up with the idea. I was 16 and on this walk with my family at a reservoir where my brother likes to run. It was much longer than I thought it would be (5 miles!) and I was saying that it would be nice to spend the day wandering around the res, maybe bring a lunch and hang out. My mind began to wander and I started to think about how it would be cute if Andy and Allison went on a picnic date in the park.

Why it’s still a wip- idk man. I was writing my nearly 50k worded breakfast club fic at the time. I had a lot going on, what, with finishing my junior year of high school via zoom and all.

Will I finish- I don’t think so

Why- eh, I just don’t really want to. I’ve written a few Andy/Allison fics since and I’m fine with this one living in my mind and notes app

2. This next one is once again from my notes app, but it’s from 2021 and for Titans. It’s basically a Halloween fic

Halloween is a time of year filled with spooks, frights, and most importantly, the thrill of the season. It’s when everyone embraces their inner ghoul and has fun.

Almost everyone, anyway.

Being from an alien planet, Kory isn’t exactly used to Earth’s silly little traditions, and Halloween was no exception. Tamaran had never seen anything like it, so when Rachel and Gar mentioned it, she was eager to learn more.

Inspo- I think my friend Luke (I’ll refrain from tagging him bc of how long this post is but he’s the super slay @/anton-wyzek) and I were talking about Kory being introduced to Halloween. I never wrote this part, but the four main Titans were supposed to go as the Addams Family

Why it’s still a wip- I never got past season 2 of titans tbh. I guess I fell out of it

Will I finish- no

Why- I’m not really feeling it, not caught up on the show or anything. It’s such a fun concept though

3. Another notes app superstar, this time from March of 2022. It’s the start to a Carrie fix it fic where the bucket misses Tommy’s head

Carrie White is at the prom.

A sentence that defies all logic, really, but is completely, 100% true. Even Carrie, herself, was shocked as she walked through the gymnasium doors with one Tommy Ross.

Inspo- umm I love Carrie and Tommy. That’s kinda it. I think they deserved happiness and I was going to give it to them

Why it’s a wip- idk I got distracted ig 😭

Will I finish- I would love to!! I think about this fic quite a bit, so I think that’s a sign. Maybe when tinimmy week is all taken care of, I tie off the loose ends with wagstaff side story (so close!) and I write the ghosts fic I’ve been working on

Why- because I love this idea!

[bigdumbbambieyes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

thank u lovely 🥹

(@shieldofiron also tagged me in this so thank you, too!! 🤍)

1. within me, an invincible summer

this is my baby. this fic has embedded itself into my own heart bc i’ve poured some of myself into it and it’s been very cathartic to write - it’s very emotional (like me) bc billy is very emotional, and i’ve always seen post-S3 fics but none of them really focused on his healing journey from Starcourt and how he could’ve grown into a healthier version of himself if he had the right support system. i also love writing about developing relationships bc it’s fun lol to write the development of his relationships with both steve and max have been so rewarding bc i firmly believe that they are the people in his life that could make the most impact. this fic is about billy waking up a few weeks after Starcourt with a new heart in his chest and he realizes that he has to continue on with this life he’s been given but doesn’t want.

this fic is a WIP and is currently sitting at 60k with no end in sight so….take that as you will jfbfkf

2. summer bummer

i wrote this back in 2020 and it was inspired by the summer heat i felt when tanning in my backyard during quarantine! it’s about Steve returning to Hawkins after a small vacation with his parents and his boyfriend Billy is the only thing on his mind 😌this ficlet screams ‘summer’ to me and it’s hot and cute and it’s just a nice little thing to read 🥹

3. Season Of the (Love) Witch

i kinda stepped out of my comfort zone with this one (and wrote it on my phone during vacation lol it was hell)! it’s about Steve, who is desperate for love, and is so desperate that he’s turned to magic to get a lover. he has continuous run-ins with Billy throughout the fic and that’s all i’m gonna say hehe this was heavily inspired by the movie The Love Witch (which is visually gorgeous omg) and i like to think that i did fairly well w this one!!

4. happy holidays

this is a ficlet i wrote here on tumblr during christmas last year. i honestly just wrote it without much thought lol i let the characters do what they wanted to do! it’s about billy going to visit steve on christmas day and they realize that they both kinda hate the way their families celebrate the holiday so they promise each other that their christmases will be better. it’s fluffy and sweet and i still love it!!

5. Bitter

this is a ficlet i wrote for tumblr then moved to AO3 - it’s sorta harringrove, as billy has complicated feelings about steve, but its main focus is billy and will! i don’t ever write anything that includes the kids so this was fun to write, and it came about after realizing just how similar these two are and i wanted to see how they would’ve reacted to each other, especially with their unrequited feelings for a boy they like (maybe even love). it’s bittersweet at its core but the sweetness of how billy treats little will makes up for it!!

i’m sure everyone has done this already bc i’m so late to it jdhfkf but if you want to do this pls tag me!!

[rokurookajima]

thank you so much for the tag kat!!! also to you AND nightmare - i am so honored and grateful to make the favorites list!! i can die happy if metalbanders and ratatouille style are my LEGACY (and thank god for the ratatouille style emojis 🫡)

Words Written:

ok so i actually calculated a ton of variations on my annual words written yesterday JUST because …idk i have OCD? so i have several answers for this i was unexpectedly prepared

so as far as what’s made it to ao3 - 30,768 (39311 counting the fic i finished NEW YEAR’S EVE but didn’t get the chance to final proofread and post)

published + wips that may or may not eventually make it to ao3 (including the rest of claw machine plus a bunch of other stuff and yes it’s all waava): 66,092

work on my original novel (bitter tooth): something around 58,000 (i couldn’t quite remember all the scenes i wrote specifically in 2024, plus i’m constantly adding or subtracting from older scenes so that’s the best estimate i got)

TOTAL: 127,436 (which is.. insanely.. a bit longer than where everything i’ve ever written officially in the bitter tooth canon including actual canon timeline + post canon i b writing for fun)

Smut Scenes:

this is honestly impossible for me to count LMAO let’s assume like .. maybe half of that total word count look i’m not right in the head okay!!!

New Things I Tried:

canon waava!! i mean still “canon” since human form raava and all, but stillll ! back in the day i only ever wrote a couple scenes that never went anywhere taking place during/post beginnings, everything that saw the light of day was metalbanders! writing any type of fantasy or non-modern anything is not rlly my wheelhouse, so i’m excited to finally feel like i cracked writing CANON waava, there’s always been ideas i’ve wanted to do (and y’know…. not naming names but one of them came to fruition in a big way… let’s say it has something to do with a certain rat…..)

Fic I spent the most time on:

definitely claw machine 🙏🏻 which is the longest multi chapter fic i’ve ever written, i’m much more a one shot fanfic guy usually. also insane and worth noting.. i wrote the first 4 chapters and a good maybe 3rd of the 5th in the span of one (1) single week which ive REALLY never cranked out anything that fast. but ive stalled on that mainly bc of getting distracted by other ideas, but also it’s a natural part of the process innit

Fic I spent the least time on:

NO IDEA HOW but i literally wrote and although i was burning in like… an hour? 2 hours tops? i for real feel like i opened google docs, blacked out, and when i came to i had written that whole thing

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

much like kat’s answer, i really am so happy with everything i’ve written this year and tho it is hard to choose favorites…

in reguards to fanfiction, it’s definitely claw machine. metalbanders au is my BABY and i’m sooooo so happy to finally be writing the Big Fic i really wanted to give it 10 years ago but didn’t quite have the skills or drive yet. i’m glad it sat on the back burner til now bc it wouldn’t at all have been what i’ve been able to make it today

as far as bitter tooth (which ik i can only give a super vague answer bc no one even knows what it’s about here lmao), i wrote a lot more for the second half that i’m especially happy with. a scene that sticks out to me is a conversation the main boy (his name is simon he’s very unwell bc unfortunately i gave all my worst qualities to him hehe) has with a girl he meets in the psych ward .. while i was writing that, i the author felt like i was finally putting together some plot points i’d never quite answered for myself to the point it felt like i was actually HAVING this conversation with him and not the one writing it out

Favorite thing I read:

i actually didn’t read much fanfiction until this fall when i deep dived straight back into waava hell so i only have a few but!!

bonded by @katkastrofa - what an absolute masterpiece… i said so much already in a long ass review that lead to me and kat becoming friends which i mean what a blessing first of all. but a fic hasn’t left me in shambles like this in SO long, it made me fully cry in the bathtub while reading it, and just hit so so many things i want in a fic

the darkest sun and the brightest star by @shadelorde - i’m so excited to see where this goes!! it’s off to such an interesting start with a fun mix of serious and humor (vaatu is just such a delightful trip), and it’s the first sunstar i’ve ever read (idk if you invented sunstar fr nightmare but to me, you did) ! and likewise, i’m so happy we met! even if technically it was before i read this, even stillll

nothing lasts forever by queenpersephoneofhades - this was from waava week 2014 which was the first waava week and also the only one i participated in before this year!! i remember reading a few chapters from it back then, but re-found it and reading it start to finish is…. 😮‍💨 oof. a doozy, an absolute gut punch ending. SO good

all of alice’s (@ebonynightwriter) waava week drabbles!! i always enjoy her submissions every year, they’re such good little glimpses into their relationship during & post canon, and sometimes AU

ok also i haven’t read yet but i am VERY excited to deep dive into all of kat & nia’s multiverse fics in the future 🙏🏻

Writing goals for next year:

number 1 .. probably obvious. finish claw machine - there are 3 chapters to go & the next one is just barely shy of being done.

but also i have been spinning so many ideas with kat for various canon waava shenanigans that i’ve already written so many little snippets of, i really would love to turn all of those into something complete. it’s far away, but also i hope to participate in waava week 2025 again! whether writing or drawing. i’m also very very tempted to rewrite my two original metalbanders fics from 2013/2014 (because again.. the ocd…..) - i love them for what they were but ykno ofc my 17/18 year old writing is uhhh pretty different from 28, and especially since they contain a lot of important lore to the au / a lot of references to them in claw machine, there are somethings that don’t quite fit what i’ve decided is officially canon now (and some tones that are off, just y’know they’re 10 years old……)

and ofc…. i wanna keep working on bitter tooth. that is my truest baby, those characters are my literal children, and if i could get it to a point where it can be read from tentative start to tentative finish (i write out of order, so i have scenes written from every plot point through the whole narrative, but as it stands, i don’t think someone else could remotely read through what exists … MAYBE they could follow the plot from what there is, but i don’t think there would be enough gradual build in between to make anyone INVESTED enough y’know). that said… i write bitter tooth all for me babe, i genuinely don’t know if i’d ever publish it if i were to finish it, and idk if i’d ever even let anyone read it all?? BUT FOR ME. and inevitably i’m sure i’ll let friends read it. i want it to be readable which feels potentially feasible for 2025. i’d love to see it COMPLETE but…..i think that’s a 2026 issue. at least

the whole 🗑️🔥 gang is all here, so anyone reading that wants to do this, pls tell ‘em sydney sent you! but also my girly pop… @fenharel-is-so-swell if you wanna talk about your novel!!!!

Year-End Writer's Roundup: 2024 Edition!

thanks so much for the tag @sweetorangepoptart!! i had to wait to actually do this until i finished the last fic i wanted to post for the year, so now it's time for the roundup!

i'm honestly not sure who to tag, so if you see this and you wrote anything this year, feel free to do it and say i tagged you!!

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!!):

let's not even get into my WIPs there's so many lol. going by just published works, i wrote 73,234 words!! honestly crazy to think about!

Smut scenes:

three! all in their own standalone works. doing the math, that means my smut fics alone take up about 1/3 of my words written this year haha

New things I tried:

i've written for lots of ships for the first time this year! in fact, i believe all the ships i wrote for are the first-time ships for me, which is always very exciting

as well, i tried a slightly different writing style than usual in my fic i'm glad i get forever to see where you went. i really enjoyed writing like this, and i can definitely see myself doing it again in the future!

Fic I spent the most time on:

i think that title has to go to my fic Likewise, as it sat half-finished in my drafts for... honestly most of this year i think

Fic I spent the least time on:

i can't say 100% for sure, but i think my fic Something Nice. it was written for yangvik week, and it was quite literally written the same day it was published. i did that several times during the week, but as this one's word count is a bit lower than the others, i think it's most likely the one i spent the least time on

Favorite thing I wrote:

ughhhhh this is like asking me to pick my favorite child. i love them all!! but if i had to choose, i think i need to go with The Push. i am honestly so proud of this fic, and i actually go back and reread it quite frequently. it also became popular beyond my wildest belief, and was sort of my jumpstart into the yangvik ship/fandom. the response to it helped give me the confidence to write seven (and counting!) more yangvik fics!!

Favorite thing I read:

actually this is like having to pick a favorite child. how can i possibly choose when i read not only lots of fic, but lots of good fic?? i've gotta choose multiple lol

anything by my lovely mutual @katkastrofa, i legitimately can't choose any specific one to focus on because they're all so incredibly written! Ruby by KingWuko; i love all your wuko fics but this one in particular gets me every time! and outside of the atla fandom, i've been really enjoying this owl house fic on ao3!

Writing goals for next year:

honestly? just keep writing! writing fanfiction has honestly been incredibly helpful for me while i'm in college. seriously, my mental health is always so much worse when i'm not writing. even if i don't publish it, writing is so good for my brain. so i want to keep up with it as i go into the new year!

i've also worked on a loose writing schedule for the upcoming year - i'm not holding myself to it super strongly but i really am going to try and follow it! it's just a way to help me focus more on individual fics and know when i want to try and finish them. that way i can do things like publishing fics for friends' birthdays and participating in more fandom events!

and last but not least, a semi-writing goal that i have is to host another wonderful yangvik week! the 2024 event was amazing, and since it ended even more people have found it and expressed interest, so i 100% would like to do it again. and if i do it again, this time i'm going to try and write for all seven days! considering i wrote for six last time, it seems pretty manageable lol

----

thanks again for the tag! this has been a great writing year for me, and i can't wait to see what 2025 holds!

[olivyh]

it’s my birthday !! so may i request riddle, ruggie, jamil, azul and jade kalim, sebek, and silver (if that’s too many characters feel free to only do 3-5 !!)

doing something embarrassing without them knowing the reader was watching (can you tell i have favorites LMAO)

like they’re singing to a corny song, maybe they’re admiring the reader and what they did that day, anything that gets them all nervous and embarrassed once they realize that the reader is standing there, maybe a different scenario for each one (awkward n blushy boys supremacy)

i hope college is going well :D!! good luck lmao

Happy birthday!!! I hope it was an amazing day <<3333!!!!! Anyways I LOVE all these characters (though I have a harder time writing for silver and sebek)(hopefully diasomnia chapter reveals more of them). I also love blushy and flustered boys! I'm going to split this post in two since there's 8 total, so this one will have four and then the next four will come later! (bc,,, i simply cannot stop writing about the scarabia duo,,,)

Enjoy~!

PT 1: Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, and Jade (You're here)/ PT 2: Jamil, Kalim, Sebek, and Silver (WIP)

Minor TW for blood on Azul's part but it's not too much

Riddle:

He had not believed that there was anyone around. After a particularly stressful week, the boy had wanted nothing more than to tend to the hedgehogs that he had considered to be akin to his own children. 

He was in his gym uniform, not wanting to get his dorm leader uniform dirty, and hunched over, in the cage and giggling softly as the hedgehogs squeaked and nipped at his fingers. He cups one of them in his hands, pulling it out and petting it's smooth forehead, chuckling and kissing it softly. 

"Have you all been lonely?" Riddle asks quietly, turning to the others. He looks around the open garden, warm sun kissing his pale skin as he peeks around the tall hedges, ears perked in the half-hope-half-fear of one of his dormmates seeing him in such a state. 

No screaming of Deuce, no obnoxious laughter from Ace. He didn't hear the tapping against a phone screen, or Trey's heavy footsteps on the grass. Perhaps, Riddle thought, he truly was alone. 

He felt as though the heavy weight on his shoulders was lifted off as he hurriedly takes each hedgehog out of the cage, sitting cross legged on the ground and placing the small animals in the small area that his legs had created. Some of them try to climb his pants and escape, making him chuckle softly at their squeaks. He gingerly lifts one into his lap, petting it gently. 

Warmth fills his heart when it nuzzles into his open palm. The others soon follow, clambering over one another as they try to climb higher and higher up. He lays down, the cold grass tickling his cheeks as the boy squirms as they crawl up his neck and lick at his face, making him laugh loudly and pick them up and move them away. 

He looks down and stifles another joyful giggle seeing them resting on his chest, a few of them trying to bite at his shirt and others dozing off. He picks one up gently and nuzzles his face into it's own small one, affection filling his heart and threatening to spill out into the rest of his body. 

He smiles softly at the small animal, chuckling. 

"Hey, Riddle, I found this little guy when I-" He all but yelps and whips around to face you, standing dumbfounded next to the hedges and holding a small hedgehog that nuzzles into your palm. Heat crawls up his neck and burns his ears and eyes as he gulps, mouth opening and closing in mortification. 

"It-I- I- I was si-simply-" He stammer, sitting up quickly (though, not too quickly as to keep the animals on his body safe).

To his surprise, you make your way beside him and sit down, your knees touching as you reach over and place the hedgehog atop his head. He gasps, lungs refusing to work as your hand gently brushes his cheek on the way back. 

You smile softly at him. 

"Don't be embarrassed! It's cute!"

He swears he could feel his heart explode in his chest, mind racing as he gulps back another squeal. He was sure that late at night, accompanied only by the moonlight, he would bury his face in his pillow and giggle like a schoolgirl looking back on this moment. 

As of right now, he could not think of anything else to do but stammer and try to calm his racing heart. He meets your eyes only to see them pressed into joyful crescents that make the butterflies in his stomach swarm as he mumbles an apology, standing and running out of the garden, leaving you and the hedgehogs to watch him leave in confusion and disbelief.   

Ruggie Bucchi:

The hyena sits up and groans, running his hands through his messy hair for the umpteenth time as he struggles to read the words on the pages. They dance around the page as he knits his eyebrows on his forehead, phone resting beside the open book for if he needs to look up a definition or a concept. He had asked to study with you to seem smarter than he was, to impress you somehow, but he was failing. 

"Should've asked Leona to teach me this shit beforehand..." He thinks to himself bitterly, glancing over at the human who lays on his bed, reading through their history book and taking notes off to the side. They kick their feet and look over to him as he sits hunched over at his desk. He looks away, face warming up as he sighs, looking up another definition. 

He tries not to show his annoyance or embarrassment at being unable to understand a textbook, but he knows that you wouldn't hold it against him. Ruggie told you bashfully before your first study session about how he couldn't go to school as a child, and was just now learning what his peers had learnt years before. You were understanding, and you were patient as you sometimes helped him define a word or solve a basic math problem. 

He chews on his pen, sighing in annoyance as he looks up another word, scribbling down the definition in the margins of his already filled notebook. Most of his pens were already chewed through, a nervous habit of his since he was a child. Normally he has something else to chew- whether that be a popsicle stick or the plastic thing you had given him as a gift after you learnt of this habit, but he had no popsicles, and the chewing thing was in his gym locker (put there for the moments before particularly stressful Magshift matches).  Normally he wouldn't chew pens, and he always had his magical pen to write with, but he'd even caught his hands idly lifting the magical object to his open mouth when he couldn't figure out one tricky question. 

He hears you giggle and he turns quickly, pouting over the pen in his mouth. You laugh more and cover your face as the boy's face flushes a bright red and he jumps at how your gleeful expression made his heart turn, biting down on the pen and sending a cascade of ink into his mouth. 

He winces and gags, sputtering as the ink drips down his chin, face flushing crimson in embarrassment now.

In his frenzy to not get ink on his clothes, he doesn't even notice how you'd rushed to grab a towel, gently holding his face in your hands and wiping the substance from his mouth. He coughs up more and you fight back a chuckle, Ruggie letting out an annoyed, embarrassed, and shy whine from the back of his throat. His ears are flat on his head as he pouts up at you, face still red as his heart races at speeds that he couldn't even imagine. He fights the urge to clasp a clawed hand over his heart and beg it to slow down, that he couldn't hand the waves of emotions that were slamming his mind and body. 

You chuckle and wipe the last bits from his lip, sitting back. 

"Go wash your mouth out-" Ruggie stands and, realizing that he could very easily blow his (very obvious) nonchalant cover, decides to try to gain the upper hand. He places a hand on your cheek and chuckles, tracing his claws down your neck and tracing along your arm. He revels in the goosebumps that rise on your flesh, fighting back his own blush as he grabs your arm and raises it to his mouth, licking a long, black stripe along your skin.  

"Go wash your arm," He laughs at your flustered expression as you smack his stomach, making him double over and ignore the chemical taste that coats his throat. He laughs even harder when he sees that he left a trail of black along your face. 

"That was so gross!"

"You laughed at me first! You had it comin'!" Ruggie grins when you huff and whine, waving his hand as he enters his room's bathroom. "Let's call it a day!" He shouts, washing his mouth out and splashing his face with cold water, pressing a damp towel to his face and ignoring the way that his heart still fluttered and his face still felt as hot as the savanna in the summer.

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul sat hunched over his desk, glasses cast off to the side as he sighed, hand cramping from scribbling away at paperwork for so long. His normally neat silver hair was unken=mpt and frizzy as it cascaded down his faceHis back aches from his hunched over position, and his limbs beg him to move after being seated for hours upon hours on end. 

"'Zul?"

"Mn?" He barely has the energy to respond to you properly. The VIP room is dimmed, and the lounge outside is cleaned out for the night. The only visitors since ten at night have been the twins, coming in to tell Azul that the Lounge had been properly closed and everything went well. 

"Are you okay?" The cecaelia nods, not even sparing you a glance as he continues to work on his paperwork. Another hour passes as he sits up and stretches, taking a big breath and groaning when his neck cracks a few times from the change in position. Leaning back, he chews idly on his nails when he reaches a problem, wincing when he bites down too far and blood drips down his finger, threatening to drip down onto his paper. The nail hangs off to the side, still attached to his finger as he curses under his breath. 

He hears a gasp and his blood runs cold as he stares up at you, sky blue eyes wide in mortification as the tips of his ears turn red and his heart pounds in his chest. He had somehow forgotten that you were still still present, and that you were watching him bite his nails. He stammers and tries to come up with excuses as you approach his desk, grabbing the first aid kit from one of the drawers. 

You sit on the arm of his plush chair and he can feel your warm breath dance across his face. Your legs practically cross over his, and you hold his injured hand as though he were made of glass, your own soft hands caressing the finger and searching for the nail clips. .

Azul's head spins and he feels although he were going to faint, a sweat forming along his collar as he gulps, unable to do something as simple as breath around you as it catches in his throat and he stares up at your expression, heart longing to pull you in and hold your face and connect his lips to your own soft-

He yelps quietly when you tug the nail loose, tossing it into the trash and applying antiseptic, wrapping his finger in a small bandage. 

"I-ah-" He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. "Thank you."

You nod and smile down at him, raising his bandaged finger to your lips and pressing a faint kiss to the tip. Azul could swear that he blacked out for a second as he gasps and his chest constricts, heat from before returning tenfold. To his dismay, you hop off the chair and grab your things, heading towards the door. 

"Get some rest, okay?" He can only gape and nod, waiting until you leave to grab his coat from behind his chair and scream into it in half-embarrassment and half-disbelief. 

Jade Leech:

It wasn't everyday that Jade got time to himself. He was often running around, either trying to keep control in the Lounge, chasing after (or encouraging) his twin, or doing normal student activities. He hadn't much time to himself in the past few weeks, and it was starting to get to him. No matter how much sleep he would get, he would still awaken with deep eyebags. His police facade would drop more quickly, and he even noticed how he was snapping at his brother and Azul much more than he normally would. 

Jade was exhausted, and it showed in the way his skin had lost its luster and how his eyelids would threaten to droop at every moment that he wasn't up and running around.

He felt bubbly when he looked at his schedule and noticed that after classes, he had an entire afternoon off. The blank space in his schedule made his heart soar and he beamed, walking with a pep to his step between each class (one that terrified his classmates).

Once he finally collapsed in his desk in his room. Floyd was away at a basketball game, Azul had shut down the lounge for the afternoon for routine cleaning, and he was finally alone. 

He sighs happily, stretching back in his chair and running his hands through his hair as he reached for one of his terrariums, some of the pieces old or moved out of place from the lack of attention that they'd been receiving. 

"I'm sorry, little one," The mer mumbles, opening the lid and moving around the materials with a small pair of tweeers. He could feel the stress of the day slowly ebb away with every passing second. His shoulders were more relaxed, his eyebrows were no longer knitted on his forehead, and all the tension on his back seemed to be gone as he began humming softly, an old song from his hometown that his mother would sing to him. 

Jade beams, humming louder and lost in his own world when he feels a tap upon his shoulder. He stifles a gasp and whips around, eyes wide as he looks at the Prefect, heat rising to his face. The human stands, arms up as if to prove that they were defenseless. 

"Are you... okay?" The ask him quietly. He gulps, breathing returning to normal as he looks between them and his terrariums. 

He knows the flush on his face is apparent, and he could feel the sweat pool in his palms that rest on his lap. 

"Yes. Of course," He practically spits out, mind racing too fast for him to come up with a longer response. You chuckle nervously, raising your hand and placing it on his shoulder. 

"I called your name a few times and you weren't responding..."

"I was busy." 

"I see..." You smile, and Jade fights the urge to gulp down the butterflies once more as he stares up at you, eyes glazing over in adoration that he fights with every ounce of energy that he has. His stomach turns as you ruffle his hair playfully, placing a book on his desk with a picture of various flora on the cover. "I found it in Ramshackle's library... did you know I have a library? Anyways, I thought you would like it." 

He nods and runs a shaky hand over the cover. "Yes. Thank you," He mumbles quietly, turning his face to meet your gaze. "Thank you." He repeats, much quieter this time. You chuckle and nod. 

"Anytime..." You turn to leave, bag slung over your shoulder and you turn, smiling at him once more and making his chest feel as though it was full of flame. "Also, you have a nice singing voice. It suits you." And with that last comment, your gone, and Jade can release the breath he didn't realize he was holding, clutching his chest and covering his mouth that had twisted into a wide grin. 

He turns to his terrariums, feet tapping more than they were before you came. 

[rollercoasterwords]

What’s ur plan with This Rotten Work? it’s not listed on ur pinned fics n it’s still up on ao3 lol i was js wondering bc it’s a cool concept n i’d love to read it but don’t feel pressured u js made my fav fanfic ever so i’m probably js a lil starved of ur writing ! but either way i’ll still love. u if u decide do drop it or carry on writing? r u writing anything at all i read aftermath it was sooooo good ur gen so talented it’s amazing

hello ahhh ty!! short answer is yes i'm still planning to write this rotten work i am actually like...70%? done w the second ch and might try to just finish it up this weekend long answer is. under the cut lol

ok so when i first started trw it was my only other wip and i thought i'd just go straight into writing it after i finished thtf, but then i started writing some other shorter wips as i was writing thtf, and i was like oh maybe i'll finish these first and THEN start focusing on trw. and then after i finished thtf i mainly just wanted to write everything else i had connected to that story in my head, hence aftermath + thtb.

and THEN i was like ok im gonna finish this dorlene beauty + the beast wip bc it'll be shorter and easier and THEN i'll write trw, but i hit a writer's block w that wip like....2 weeks ago and just wasn't really feeling it, and then i watched the walking dead finale and my brain shifted from fairytale mode back into zombie mode so i started writing ch 2 of trw. but THEN this week i sort of uh. well. i succumbed to the cowboy brainrot and now i am. writing a jegulus cowboy au which i am also planning to make like. short-ish? like 4 chs and 20k words is the plan rn.

ANYWAY so now. currently. my plan is:

- try to finish ch 2 of trw this weekend just bc i'm so close to being done, and i'll probably post it before it's been beta-read just bc i feel bad that i’ve left it hanging so long lol

- write the jegulus cowboy au in dec ?? i think i'll probably try and write the whole thing before i start posting chs but who knows

- go back to writing trw as like....longer ongoing project after that and just jump between the beauty + the beast au and trw depending on what mood i'm in

i also have a pandalily time war au haunting me so. if that comes and takes me by the throat trw could end up getting written even slower lol.

anyway! that's where i'm at rn but obviously everything is very subject to change, i've really just been taking writing really slow over november to try and avoid burnout after thtf, so i've just been chipping away at whatever i felt like on any given day. i've been wanting to write more lately tho so i feel like i might be ready to dip my toes back into a longer project, which would be trw :) but it'll probably just be me writing and posting chs slowly without any regular schedule for the next few months as i focus on finishing some of these shorter wips just to like. clear out space in my brain 🤠

[miracleonice87]

maybe you’re really warm for Seggy?

a/n: is this one kinda a self-insert bc these are the things I wanna tell him before he comes back? yup. I know y’all won’t mind 😇 set present-day. this wraps up the blurbs from the most recent prompt list I posted. thanks for helping me get some motivation back to work on my wips! 🤗

“You’re really warm.” with Tyler Seguin

Spring had sprung in Dallas, and you and Tyler were thriving being back in the mild climate — a welcome change from the bone-chilling winter you’d endured in Toronto while he went through his post-surgery rehab. You were thrilled to be home, not only because it meant that Tyler was that much closer to getting back on the ice, but also because you’d missed your familiar routine in Dallas, especially the nights spent just the two of you, most always uninterrupted, unlike in Toronto where it wasn’t unusual for a stray sister or parent or childhood friend to stop by unannounced. And while you loved them all, you both treasured your time alone together, too.

Nights like tonight, when it was just you two and the dogs around the firepit on a cloudless spring night, were sure to be fewer and further between when Tyler was back to playing shape. But for now, you were making it a point to soak up every last one while you could.

After pulling on a worn crewneck and an old pair of gym shorts, pulled from the back of your closet where your summer clothes had been tucked away since last fall, you coaxed lazy Marshall through the open sliding glass door to join you in the backyard, and Tyler laughed as he watched the old labrador follow you reluctantly out of the house.

“I feel you, Marsh,” Tyler said as the dog laid down next to his chaise lounge with a sigh. He reached down to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “It’s tough gettin’ old.”

You smiled as you approached, two beers in hand as you offered one to Tyler.

“Thanks, baby,” he said, then a smirk crossed his face. “Damn, I got you back in booty shorts and you’re servin’ me beer, too? This is the fuckin’ life,” he mused, waggling his brows.

You scoffed, smacking his chest lightly as you pushed your knee against his leg, which he took as his cue to make room for you on the chaise.

“And you wanna cuddle, too?” he asked playfully, as if you ever didn’t want to cuddle with him. He opened his legs and pulled you to sit between them. “Damn, I am one lucky man.”

“I’m only cuddling with you because you’re really warm,” you quipped as you settled against his chest with a shiver. “I thought I was ready to transition back to shorts but now I’m regretting that decision.”

Tyler chuckled and kissed the crown of your head. “Well, I’m not,” he replied, squeezing your thighs. “Show me all the skin, baby.”

You laughed loudly, the sound piercing through the muted quiet of the night. “Shut up,” you joked, hooking an elbow up and around his neck. “How was therapy today?”

Tyler folded his forearms across your shoulders, his hold heavy and comforting on your chest as your fingers reached up to smooth over the soft cotton of his hoodie sleeve.

“Good. Feel good,” he answered. “They’re still saying I’m on track to be back three or four weeks from now, so I guess I’ll take that.”

“Few more weeks and you’ll be back and better than ever,” you announced with a proud grin, your hand resting on his chest as you mindlessly played with the strings of his hoodie.

Tyler chuckled again, but it wasn’t lost on you how the sound was devoid of any humor this time.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, half-hoping you wouldn’t hear.

But you did — of course you did — and you pressed your lips together tightly, closing your eyes as you drew a deep breath. You wiggled to sit up straight in his hold before turning to face him, resting your hands on his thighs. He was busying himself with silently studying the label of his beer bottle, turning the amber glass in a slow circle against the arm of the chair. His lips pursed, he didn’t meet your eyes.

You rubbed your palms against his legs, trying again but failing again to gain his attention.

“Hey,” you spoke softly. “Look at me, T.”

Eventually, Tyler did, his eyes noticeably darker than they were when you first joined him outside — now clouded with a familiar fog, one you knew to be the haze of self-doubt and the fear of failing.

You reached out your hand to cup his jaw, stroking his beard with your thumb. He still didn’t look you in the eye for more than a second at a time. But you were going to say what you needed to say anyway.

“I’m really proud of you, you know that?” you told him. When he showed no signs of any outward reaction, you continued. You were used to this — some days it was you who needed the pep talk, the gentle reminder that you maybe didn’t give yourself enough credit, and some days it was him.

Tonight, it was him.

“You’ve worked so hard to come back, baby,” you said earnestly, your hand resting flush against his neck now, pressing at the tight knots in it as you felt him begin to relax against your touch. “I’ve seen that more than anybody else, you know? In Toronto and here in Dallas, I’ve seen how insanely hard you’ve pushed yourself to come back stronger. So no matter what happens, I’m proud of you for that. I so admire you for it.”

Tyler bit his bottom lip as he met your gaze hesitantly.

“Yeah?” he spoke quietly.

You nodded. “Yes, baby,” you replied soberly. “And trust me, I’m so excited to see you back on the ice, and I truly do believe that you’re gonna be amazing. But no matter what happens, your performance doesn’t define you. What matters is that you’re healthy, first and foremost, and that you work your ass off and compete, night in and night out. And you’re Tyler fucking Seguin, so of course you’re going to do that. It’s who you are. I have every confidence in that. In you.”

Slowly, Tyler slumped forward against you, not often softening to the point of wanting to be held. You gathered him into your arms and buried a few lengthy kisses in his soft curls.

“I love you,” he whispered against your neck, gratitude dripping from his words like honey.

You smiled. “I love you.”