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boygiwrites · 9 months

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Harley D. Dixon 14

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. Another quick update! I'm on a roll! Please enjoy reading :)

"Blessed be God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ in heaven."

Under the shade of an old oak tree on the outskirts of the Greene farm, I stand at Shane's side as Herschel fills an empty grave with prayers. I've never been to a stranger's funeral before. I don't belong here — none of our group does — but according to Rick, this is how we show respect to the mourning family, and respect is how we get to stay here on the farm longer than just a week. I'm not too sure what's so respectful about watching in silence while Patricia lowers her dead husband's belongings into the ground, but this is what we have to do.

"Praise be to Him for the gift of our brother, Otis — For the span of his years; for his abundance of character."

I glance up at Rick, who's standing on the other side of the semi-circle we've formed. He stares at Shane. I didn't know so much about Otis' character, but he must've had a whole bunch of it, 'cause Patricia cries twice as loudly now, as Maggie helps her out the grave. All I know is he shot my Dad. In another life, this would've been Rick's fate for killing my Uncle. In another-another life, my Uncle isn't dead at all.

"Otis, who gave his life for the chance to save another."

That's how the story goes. Shane and Otis, cornered but resilient, down to ten rounds — one killed in a tragic act of sacrifice.

"We thank you, God, for the rest you now grant him. He died as he lived — In grace. May the arms of eternity embrace him."

I wonder if Otis is going to Hell or heaven. I wonder if God's holdin' him in some sort of waiting room right now, watching on as my Dad fights for his life; waiting to see if Otis is a murderer. In my eyes, he already is. If God's as smart as they say he is, he'll send Otis to Hell.

Herschel gently closes the Bible.

Me and my Dad went to church, a long time ago. They used to give out free food and diapers every Sunday before mass to encourage people who couldn't afford those types of things to come in and pray, but we never did any of the praying. We just took the cheap groceries, feeling only partially ashamed as upper middle-class Christians sung hymns in the background. The worst was when they said they'd pray for us.

God be with you, the man would tell my Dad.

Thanks, Dad would answer, head lowered, and then pull me back out to the parking lot.

When I asked him if God was real, all he said was that if he is, then he must be deaf. I could never imagine him praying.

"Shane," Herschel says.

The man besides me startles slightly.

"Will you speak for Otis?"

Speak for a dead man?

He stiffens as everybody turns their gazes on him.

"I... I'm not good at this." He says quietly, clearing his throat; shaking his head. I think if he could run away, he would. "I'm sorry."

"You were the last one with him." Patricia insists. "You shared his final moments."

He stares at her, mouth open but no words coming out. It reminds me of that far-away look he had last night when he returned alone. This is not the Shane I know. Who am I kidding, my Dad once said to Shane, You always got somethin' you wanna say. Not right now, he don't.

"Please." Patricia says, stepping forward.

The uncomfortable silence persists.

"I need to hear." She begs. "I need to know his death had meaning."

Rick's still staring at him, more intensely than the rest. You better say something, the look says, You better not mess this up.

Shane licks his lips, and glancing down at me is the thing that finally pushes him to speak.

"Okay." He concedes, nodding to himself. A weak breeze sails through the leaves above us as he speaks, and there's something about the way his eyes shift from person to person and the way his clasped hands twitch that give me the sense he's making it up as he goes. "We were about to reach the main building," He tells us. "We were down to pistols by then. I was limping. The dead; closin' in. It was... Things weren't looking good. 'The supplies are in there.' You see, that's what he said. To me. 'You have to get them. You have to save that poor girl's Dad.' He gave me his backpack. He gave me his rifle. 'Run. I'll cover you,' He said. I had no choice. I ran. When I looked back..."

I did it, is all I can remember him saying last night, I did it, I did it.

Did what?

"He died thinking of Daryl." He sticks his chin up. "He died giving him a chance."

He died for nothing, is what he really means to say.

Maggie looks down at her boots, holding Patricia's shaking hand.

"I might not've been able to... find the supplies," He gulps, taking a deep breath, "But I made it out alive. And I owe that all to Otis."

A sob breaks out amongst us.

"If any death ever had meaning, it was his."

"Amen."

"Amen," We all say.

I don't remember much about the people at our church, but I do remember them saying, to lie is to rot oneself from the inside out with sin.

When I glance up at Shane, I find him already looking right back at me.

The funeral ends.

On our way back up the hill, we hear car engines approaching.

"I'm guessing this is the right Green farm, then?" Dale says through his open window, bringing the RV to a crawl alongside us. Behind him, the remainder of our group rounds him and continues driving up the road. Maggie opens the gate for them. "Beautiful out this way, huh?"

"Hey, Dale." I smile lightly. "Ya made it."

"Hop in. I'll give you a ride up."

He brakes long enough to let me climb in, and as I sit next to him in the passenger seat, he starts it back up again.

"What are you all doing so far from the house?"

I don't bother buckling my seatbelt. It's only a short drive.

"We had a funeral." I tell him, "For this man named Otis. He died last night."

"What happened?" He frowns. "Is your Dad alright?"

"Yeah, he— He's inside right now. Glenn's giving him blood. He ain't really supposed to be doin' it, though. He's gonna get sick, but he says he don't care. There's nobody else who can do it. Actually, what type of blood do you have?" When he regretfully says he doesn't know, I continue. "Well, Shane, and that man, Otis, they were meant to come back with some more last night, but somethin' went wrong. Only Shane made it back."

Maggie waves us through and closes the gate behind us.

"I heard Rick wants to go back." I say. "To the college. Today. He thinks he'll find what my Dad needs."

Dale nods. "That woman said he got shot."

"Yeah. In the stomach." I exhale thinly, fiddling with my fingernails. "It's... S'real bad."

"It wasn't Shane?"

"Huh?"

"It wasn't Shane who shot him?"

I think it's telling that that's Dale's first assumption. Hell, I think it was everyone's, but now I don't know what to think.

"Apparently not." I shake my head. "Apparently it was Otis. A huntin' accident, Rick says."

"Hunting accident?"

"He wasn't there when it happened. He an' Glenn just came across the farm while lookin' and knocked on the door. Shane's said nothin'."

Dale glances at me. "That's unlike him."

I don't know what else to say to that besides, yeah, 'cause I got no idea how Shane's mind works. I know he's smart. I know he's good with words. He's everything Rick is, but amplified, and he's good at makin' people not realize it — 'cause he's also good at hiding things.

Dale brings the RV to a stop under a tall tree near the house.

"Just be careful, Harley." He looks me in the eye when he says this. "Be careful with Shane. You're a smart girl. I think you can figure out why."

No. No, I'm done figuring things out.

Shane is my friend, and Shane cares for me, and I need him right now. That's all that matters.

If that's not a smart thing to say, then I guess I must be dumb, but at least I'm not hurt. I never wanna be hurt again.

"Whatever," I mumble, rising from my seat.

I know I'll feel bad about it later, but I slam the door when I leave.

"Are you sure about this?"

As soon as we make it back to the house, Rick tells everyone he's going back to the college. Andrea offers to go with him to watch his back, and Herschel reluctantly writes up another list of medical supplies and pills for them to look for. He hands it to Rick, who quickly reads it over.

"I'm sure." He replies, folding the list into his pocket. "I couldn't be surer. It's a shot in the dark, but we gotta do it."

"The surgical labs?" Andrea asks. "That's where we'll find what we need?"

"Yes," Herschel sighs, looking unconfident. "If not there, then the storage rooms. It sounds like it's all overrun, though, Rick."

He shakes his head. "We've dealt with worse."

Carol leaves the room, a hand over her mouth. She wants Rick to keep searching for Sophia, but this is taking priority right now.

"Didn't Shane say there was nothin' left?" T-Dog butts in, confused. "I mean, he came back with nothin'."

"No." Rick says. "We don't know why that happened. If I had to guess, I'd say he had to retreat after Otis... After Otis passed."

"Man, he couldn't just double back?"

He scoffs, picking up the bags. "I don't know. I don't know what happened. All we can do is try again."

"Remember, I can only use O negative blood." Herschel raises his brows. "Nothing else."

"O negative. Got it."

"Be careful."

"We always are."

I watch the bullet roll around.

Herschel put it in a little plastic container after the surgery last night. So, this is what almost killed him, then. When I was littler, I used to think my Dad was invincible. I thought nothing could ever bring my big, strong Dad down, but it turns out it can, and it don't even gotta be bigger than my pinkie finger to do it, either. This tiny little bud of golden metal put my Dad on his death bed.

I'm watching the sun bounce off its curves when I hear footsteps approaching in the grass.

When I look up, I see Shane, alone, pointing to the picnic bench I'm sitting at.

"This seat taken by any chance?"

Be careful with Shane, Dale told me.

"No," I tell him, setting the bullet down. "You can sit 'ere."

He takes a seat beside me and asks, "What're you doin' fiddling with that thing?"

"I don't know." I smile, feeling a little silly. "I's just lookin' at it."

"Well, how 'bout this? I got somethin' better for you to do."

He lifts up the small bag he brought with him onto the table.

"What that?"

"You didn't think I forgot about our deal, right?" He grins, scattering the contents in front of us. A sketch pad with a unicorn on the cover falls out first, and then a bunch of rainbow markers, pencils, and even some craft glue and sparkly sequins. "Borrowed it all from that girl, Beth."

I laugh, probably for the first time in days. "Woah, Shane!"

"Better than that scummy old bullet, huh?" He nudges me, opening the book to a blank page. "Not sure I'm any good, but I'll try my best."

"What do you wanna draw?"

"Anything you want."

"Let's..." My first thought is a card for my Dad, but that's stupid. Shane don't wanna make that. "Um..."

"Can't make up yer mind?"

"No, it's just— I wanna make somethin' for my Dad."

Surprisingly, he doesn't react the way I expected.

"'Course ya do, sweetheart. Come on, then. I'll help you."

"Really?"

"Anything you want. That's what I said, right?"

"Okay, then." I giggle, copying him as he grabs a marker and uncaps it. "His favorite color's black, but that's ugly. Let's do flowers."

"Yes, ma'am."

"A field of flowers." I enthuse. "And a walker in the middle, but dead, 'cause Dad killed it."

"He's real good at that, huh?"

"Yep."

"Alright, then. You're gonna have to walk me through it, though, 'cause I don't know what I'm doin' here."

Laughing, I get started in pointing out all the places I think flowers would look best on the page, picking out which colors to use, like green for the grass and yellow for the sun. Shane goes along with all of it, just happy to be spending time with me. I really don't get what Dale's talkin' about. I even teach him how to draw a flower. My Dad's never colored with me, before. We never did things like that. He'd rather take me on a hike, or skip stones with me at the local playground pond. When I drew him pictures, he'd put 'em on the fridge and tell me they're nice, but that's about it.

I think it's awful nice of Shane to be making this card for my Dad. I guess he's decided to put their differences aside for a minute.

"Thanks for not tellin' me no." I say, filling in a petal. "I thought you were gonna."

"'No' to makin' your Dad a card?"

"Yeah."

"Why's that?"

Shane always does this. He asks questions he already knows the answer to, 'cause he wants to see what you say.

"I'on know," I shrug, shy; a little embarrassed. "I don't think you like him very much."

"No?"

"No. You punched him."

He hums.

I continue. "And you think he's mean."

"Yeah? Why's he mean?"

"He, like, yells sometimes." I mutter, focusing on coloring. "He gets angry."

He just hums again.

"And you don't like him 'cause he hits me, and you think he shouldn't do that. You think he's a bad Dad."

He corrects me. "I don't think he knows how to be a Dad at all, Harley."

"What about you? D'you know?"

There ain't nobody that teaches you this shit, Harley, my Dad once told me, You think you came outta the womb with a manual attached?

"Well, I've never had a kid, before, Harley." He tells me. "That was always Rick's thing. We used to go to school together, you know that? Kindergarten, all the way up to police academy. When Carl was born, I used to think about havin' my own, but it just never happened."

"Why not?"

"Kids are a lot of responsibility. I wasn't ready for that."

"What about now?"

"Am I ready for a kid?"

"Yeah."

He glances at me, then back to the paper, but doesn't answer.

I look up at him. "What is it?"

He nods at the packet of sequins.

"You wanna have a go stickin' them on?"

I pause. Yeah, I guess I can have a go.

"Dad don't like glitter, though."

"It's a gift from his daughter." Shane scoffs. "He can deal with it."

"You like glitter?"

"Can't say I'm a huge fan, but if you gave me a glittered-up card, it'd be my favorite thing I owned. I can promise you that."

That makes me smile. "I can make you one, if you want."

"Nah, that's okay, sweetheart. This is all 'bout your Dad, right now."

I smear a whole lotta glue on the corners of the page, sprinkling the little plastic pieces onto it after.

"Rick's gone back to the college." I muse. "And Andrea. They're gonna find blood and medicine for my Dad."

Shane shifts uncomfortably on the bench. That's what he was supposed to do. He failed. Now, other people have to make up for what he did, and if they come back with even one thing from the list, that's gonna look real bad for him. Not only did he get someone killed, but he did it for nothin'.

"Rick's tough. Andrea, she's a good enough shot." He clears his throat. "They'll make it back in one piece."

"I just hope they don't get caught in that herd like you and Otis."

Apparently, they got swarmed. Easy to believe, given the hundreds of walkers been followin' us down this way.

"They won't be. They're smart."

I joke, "You sayin' you were dumb?"

"Hey," He smirks. "Watch yourself."

"I'm just sayin'. How come you let yourself get surrounded?"

"Happens fast, Harley. You know that."

Sure happened fast on the highway.

"Must'a been awful." I frown. "All them walkers... Otis."

"Had to happen." Shane shrugs.

"I know. But he still died, Shane. Don't matter what for."

"You don't think it matters to his family?"

"Well, yeah, but not to us. Dead is dead, and dead's awful. You don't gotta pretend."

He shakes his head, like I just don't get it.

"No. No, if I could go back in time, Harley, I wouldn't change a thing."

I glance at him, then. His jaw is set tight as he scribbles a red blotch onto the page, staring into its chaotic epicentre. If he said that to any of the Greenes, oh, they would'a slapped him. You're supposed to be sad when someone dies. Shane looked a little down at the funeral, but now he just looks angry. I wanna warn him he's gonna tear a hole in the page if he presses down any harder, but the words get stuck in my throat.

"I don't think you should tell anyone else that." I murmur, awkward. "Especially not Patricia."

He don't stop 'till the pencil nib snaps.

"Damn it." He mumbles, tossing it.

I did it, was all he kept sayin', I did it.

"What'd you mean, last night, anyway?"

"Huh? What did what mean?"

"I did it." I quote. "You just kept chantin' it, over and over. What's it mean? What'd you do?"

He turns his glare onto me.

"You sure I said that?"

I think back to that moment. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.

I nod.

"I don't remember." He disagrees. "I was all outta sorts that night. Still am, to be honest."

"But you said it. I heard you."

"Well, I'd just escaped Hell on Earth, Harley. I barely made it out alive. I drove back here like a crazy man; just watched a man get eaten alive. 'Course I'm gonna be shocked I made it; shocked I did it. That's all I meant. Ain't nothin' to stress over."

I sigh. "Are you sure?"

"I ever lied to you?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, there you go."

It's only now I notice Dale on the roof of the RV. He's supposed to be on watch, but the only thing he's watchin' is us. I choose to ignore him in favor of finishing the get well soon card, hating the stiff silence that follows.

My eyes eventually wonder over to the container, and the stubby bullet inside.

I begin to frown.

Wait a minute.

Hunting accident, was what Rick told everyone.

"Shane, what type of bullet is that?" I ask, even though I already know.

Beside me, he stops coloring so abruptly that it's like I just electrocuted him.

Now I'm really lookin' at it, I can't believe it took me this long to notice.

"Harley," He says when he sees what I'm staring at. "Harley, I can explain."

I don't wanna hear it.

I know what type of bullet that is.

"Harley, wait."

It didn't come from no damn hunting rifle.

That's a pistol bullet.

I slam the door shut.

"Woah, hey. What's going on?" Glenn asks, slumped in a chair beside Dad's bed. "What's wrong?"

"Get out." I whimper, shaking my head. I go straight for the window; yank the curtains shut so hard they screech. "Get out, Glenn."

"Why? What's—?"

"Just fucking get out!"

He jumps up at that, and I only see a glimpse of him scurrying out the door before I dive onto the bed, crying and hiccupping and groaning angrily as I lift the covers. I curl up underneath them, into my Dad's side. It wasn't a rifle bullet. It was a pistol bullet. It wasn't Otis. It was Shane. My friend, have-I-ever-lied-to-you Shane. He shot my Dad and then he lied to my face about it, all while making a card that wouldn't even exist if it weren't for him in the first place. I hugged him. He hugged me back. I cried on him. I don't want my Daddy to die, I wailed, but it was him that did it.

The door opens just minutes later. I hear his combat boots thumping as he runs around the side of the bed.

"Get away from me." I try hitting him through the blankets, but he just pulls them off and grabs me. "Fuck off! I knew it was you!"

"Harley." He shakes his head. "Harley, ssh, ssh, ssh."

"You lied to me—"

"No, no, no, ssh, ssh, ssh."

"Don't tell me to shush!" I snarl, batting at him. "You— You— You shot my—!"

"No." He shakes me. "No, I didn't. Harley, I didn't."

"Yes, you did!"

"No." He growls, glancing at the door, then back to me. "Listen to me very carefully, Harley Dixon. I did not shoot your Dad."

"No? Then who's damn bullet was that?!"

"Keep your voice down."

"Who's was it?"

"Jim's, Harley. Jim's." His eyes are wide; some type of crazy in 'em as he really drills this into me, almost whispering, but also shouting at the same time. "Remember that day you came back, told everyone what happened? You gave me exact directions on how to get to that guy's camp, remember? Follow the creek, left at the big rock, go through the trees 'till you hit an old fence post. See? You told me that. I remembered. Your Dad wanted to go kill him. First time I ever saw eye to eye with that man, and I gave him the location, and we left together, Harley. Together."

I keep shaking my head, but Shane's lip curls.

"Yes. Yes. Listen to me. We left together and we found his camp. Green tent, right? Music playing?"

H-H-How's he know that?

"Wh—?"

"He wasn't there, but his tracks were. Your Dad followed 'em. We found him in a house, damn near starved to death. He was beggin' us to spare him some of ours 'till he clocked our faces. He was mad. Real mad. Hell, I would be, too, if I got tied up and left for dead. He did it. Jim shot your Dad."

"You're lying." I pull a face of disgust. "You're lying, I know it."

"Yeah? Yeah, how you know?"

"'Cause Dale says I gotta be careful around you. And Rick pretty much don't even believe you, neither! He's basically your brother!"

"To Hell with Dale." He shrugs, shaking his head and grinning, like this is no big deal. "And Rick — Rick's an idiot. You know that."

"When we heard the shot, he said it was you! He said that, in front of everyone!"

"Well, he was wrong. It was Jim."

"Then why'd you go and tell everyone it was Otis, huh?"

"Well, I— It's—"

"Just get outta my face, Shane." I shudder, pulling the covers back over my head, hiding away. "I don't wanna be your friend, anymore. Get out."

I don't care if it was Jim, or Shane, or the damn Easter bunny who shot him, at this point — I just wanna be alone. I don't know what to believe. Like I said, Shane's smart, so he don't push his luck. He leaves almost right away, closing me away in my own den of grief with a soft click of the door. I hear him talking to everyone out there, probably explaining everything away like he can so easily do. I'm emotional, he'll say, Just leave it.

When I pop my head back up, I spot the card sitting on the side table.

Get well soon, it says.

In a fit of rage, I snatch it up and I rip it to pieces.

It falls to the floor like confetti.

Rick and Andrea come back while I'm eating dinner on the porch.

It's soup that Maggie made for me — Potato and leek. Someone must've told her my favorite kind — 'cause it turns out I was right. Shane did tell everyone I was upset. Apparently, the funeral was just too much for me, on top of everything else. I'm too sad to be angry about that, 'cause it just proves that he really is a liar, after all. I set the bowl down as they pull up to the house, and Maggie and her Dad come out the front door as soon as they hear the car engine, cautiously excited for the news we're about to get. Maggie helps me out of the chair, rubbing my shoulders.

The car door shuts. We not only see Rick and Andrea, alive and well, but also two big, full bags on their shoulders.

"We got everything." He calls out to us, smiling. "Every last thing."

My jaw drops.

"Praise God." Herschel mutters.

Maggie grins down at me. "You hear that, Harley?"

"Y—" I smile wide. "Yeah."

She leaves my side to help Andrea bring the bags up the stairs.

"The penicillin?" Herschel shakes his head. "The gauze, the syringes, the disinfectant?"

"All of it." Says Rick. "Even threw in some reception desk candy, too, just 'cause we could."

"That's incredible. How?"

"Place was deserted." Andrea tells us. "We only had to take out five or six before we were the only ones around. Surgical labs, just like you said."

"Praise God," He says again. "I'll start re-dressing the wound right now."

"Here you go."

Rick passes him the bag, and everyone else goes back inside as he leans against the railing. Behind him, the sun cinematically sinks in the sky.

I sit back down.

I can't believe they did it.

"Thank you, Rick."

He looks a little sad when I say this, but happy, at the same time.

"You're welcome, Harley. You're very welcome."

For the first time ever, I'm alone with Rick and all I feel is peace.

Author's Note.

Daryl still hasn't woken up. I'm sorryyyyy 🙏He will, very soon. I promise! I'll try to make it everything you're hoping for and more :) Things are gonna be different between Harley and Daryl from now on.

(AKA not depressing.)

Shane's still manipulative as ever. Boo to him.

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sending lots of love! :)

#the walking dead #twd #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon #daddy issues #parent daryl dixon #rick grimes #shane walsh #angst #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #reader

13 notes · View notes

yahargulian · 11 months

Note

HELLOOOO I HAVE WRITING ASKS FOR YOU

6, 8, 13 (drop the music recs!!!), 29, 39 (begging you to tell the people about the blast furnace. if you want!!), 43, 57

ahem i would also like to take this chance to announce that kim is an AMAZING writer (and an amazing person full stop) and everyone should keep your eyes peeled for their fics in the future because whoooy boy their current serennedy wips and ideas are SOOOO GOOD and i’m not even really in the fandom??? but i live for every snippet i’m sent???

hehe please enjoy 💓💓

AAAAA Jamie holy shit.. Bestie you're gonna make me blush aaaa 👉👈

Whenever I do actually get these fics finished and published, everyone go thank Jamie for all his hype and support and for being my fandom screaming buddy adkjhga AND ALSO if you happen to watch a funky little show called KinnPorsche you should go read their fics like! Right the fuck now! And also keep an eye out for new ones in the future because I have also seen snippets of Jamie's wips and ideas and WOWIE is that fandom in for a treat or two. Or several hehe

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

"Unpleasant didn’t quite cut it." Which is from the same extract I answered with here, and is the last line I've written from any of my wips at the moment... But, I'm also gonna give you the last line I've written from the other fic I'm currently working on. As a treat! "Krauser had changed right there beside Leon, and he had never even noticed." I really am just making Leon go through it in two very different ways at the moment ahdgjkhag

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

"And maybe it had fulfilled the purpose for which it was designed, no longer held a practical use to him. But, as he breathed in, he felt its weight soft against his chest. And for a moment he couldn't exhale. A soft warmth bled in his chest; from his lungs, from his heart, from the weight of metal over both. Held. Like a promise. "No," he breathed, finally. Then, surely, "no, nothing." Not all purposes were practical, after all."

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I do! But I'm really really awkward about it aghkdgjdakg it depends on the vibe really! Usually music with lyrics distracts me (my brain starts focusing on the lyrics oops) so unless I'm listening to a specific song or songs on loop, I usually listen to video game soundtracks There are some scenes and stuff that call for a specific kind of vibe - or just silence as a last resort if I can't find anything to listen to - but lately I've been listening to boss battle music, of all things. This playlist, to be exact This is my hype music! My 'Getting Shit Done' playlist. I used to listen to a lot of this while doing uni assignments, and have been known to listen to it to do even mundane shit. Like laundry

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

People have told me before that my fics have made them cry, and like. Nothing makes me happier honestly. Again with the emotion think, is anything I've written has ever made someone feel something it's the best thing that could possibly happen. So the fact that something I've written has apparently made people feel something so much that they've cried? Hell yeah I'm proud of that!!

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

Okay no you're right, the blast furnace fic is pretty self indulgent so I will mention it. Basically, Leon and Luis fuck in the blast furnace, right after the fight against the two Gigantes. And this came about because I realised that this would be one of the best times for them to kiss in the main plot (literally like in an action movie) and also that nobody had written them fucking in the blast furnace yet? And once I realised that I realised how obvious it was to get them to fuck in there - and now here I am. So it's very self indulgent because I wanna see it ahdjkahkjgd but also now that I've started it I'm on a mission to make it as visceral an experience as possible! It's gonna be fucking great I'm really excited for it Honestly tho, most if not all of what I write or try to write is self-indulgent in some way. Hell, the key fic I'm working on is super self-indulgent just because it's basically me working through all my feelings about this damn lab key! And what it means and symbolises and what if what if what if. Everything I write is written because I wanna see it and explore it and experience it! It's all self-indulgence babey!

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Answered here but long story short, yes! But hopefully I'll get to them soon hehe I also looked over the 4,000 word pollen wip again after typing my reply to this question and. Yeah. I've definitely gotta finish that one someday my god I forgot how strong the brainworms had got when I started that one ahdgjkahgkd

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Foreshadowing maybe, tho I'm not sure how much I'd say I'm conscious of it rather than.. Because I know where I'm going I try to build up to that. So I guess that would be a yes? Ahsdjhjgkj In terms of symbolism, maybe not as much as I should be? The aforementioned key fic is possibly an exception here because, well. It's literally about the fucking lab key. It's about the symbolism. But generally I'm not conscious about including it - and now this is making me wonder if I do? And if I do, how the fuck and when? Someone please tell me, Jamie please tell me aghdjdahgds

#thank u bestie AAAAAA #screaming crying throwing up #fr everyone go read his fics right the fuck now if u like kpts #this is not a request this is a demand ahgjkdhgkjds #answered #xhangkyuns

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fool-in-his-wedding-gown · 1 year

Note

for the mc ask game: 6, 30, and 35!!

6. Do they have a playlist? Share a link! Why did you choose the songs you did?

I'll drop some explanations for the songs after I answer the other questions :3

Putting this under a cut because WOAH this post got long

30. What was their life like before the plague? Their childhood?

Saturn spent the first fourteen years of his life living with his parents & siblings! It was after he realized he was trans that things between them soured & he moved to Vesuvia to live with his aunt. There, he kicked his studies into high gear. He'd always had a fascination with the cosmos, and he'd always been curious, but now he was really taking it seriously. He was fifteen when his aunt died and left the shop to him, which wasn't exactly ideal. She was really the only person he had in Vesuvia (and especially the only person who saw him for who he was), but he couldn't exactly go back to his immediate family, so he stayed. By this point, he was an established researcher and astronomer, so running the shop on his own wasn't really a problem, but he was grieving and he was only fifteen. It took a lot out of him.

At sixteen, he couldn't take it anymore. The pursuit of knowledge (especially in his own field) had always been of the utmost importance to him, and he needed to get away. So when the role of a navigator aboard a merchant ship opened up... I mean, come on. Of course he took that chance. So, using his skills in starmaps and skycharts, he navigated this crew through the seas for a solid year. He was absolutely terrible at everything else (which was to be expected, he was the second-youngest person aboard with no previous nautical experience), but he kept the crew safe and away from dangerous shores and guided it through countless storms. He stepped off that ship at seventeen ready to expand his studies. The time abroad steeled his resolve, and he finally felt ready to combine his skills in his field and pour them into the study of magic. He pursued that for two years on his own. Lots of textbooks and disastrous failures, very little learning by example. His specific area of study was in truth-seeking, revealing, shedding light on dark corners. That's what he'd been doing since he was fifteen. This was just an extension of that with a different, much more efficient tool.

But pursuing it on his own could only take him so far. When he was nineteen, he realized he wanted to learn pyromancy & how to read tarot, and he realized he'd need help. Pyromancy is incredibly finicky and dangerous when wielded by inexperienced hands, and tarot is extremely hard to learn if one isn't being taught by someone already personally familiar with it (besides, it's not like he had his own deck). So he did some poking around and, through the grapevine, he heard about the talents of one Asra Alnazar. As it would happen, Saturn managed to find him on masquerade night.

What started as a business partnership ("you teach me tarot and pyromancy, and I'll show you how I learned my magic near exclusively from textbooks"), became a friendship became a queerplatonic partnership. Asra moved into the shop by the time Saturn was twenty.

Six years passed roughly uneventfully (minus some accidental fires, the both of them developing their skill in magic more, running the shop together, whatever the HELL was going on between Asra and Julian).

And then the plague hit, and everything went to shit. But that's a story for another time.

35. Do they have any material objects that are important to them? What & why?

A cane of orange-brown gnarled wood, given to him by his aunt. Saturn is disabled and this, on top of serving as his mobility aid, has deep sentimental value to him.

A necklace gifted to him by Asra. It's a pendant that looks like a sun, twisting beams radiating outwards from a spherical center. He's unsure if it has any magic tied to it, but if it does, he hasn't found it yet.

Okay songs time :3

I'm not gonna go over all twenty one songs, but I will go over a few of my favorites/most fitting!!

Cicada Days - The way this song expresses & explores grief & the way the narrator speaks to the person who can be presumed to be their partner I thought really reflected Saturn's own guilt & his desperation to be kept close to the people he loves. He may pretend to be a perfectly logical, impartial third party immune to bias, but at the end of the day, he's a man in love and he's afraid of losing that which he loves. Hence "don't let me leave, I'll only take more than I gave"

Battle Cries - A dialogue between two lovers. This one is about as simple as it gets— the two are at a crossroads. Whatever their current situation is, it isn't working. They must change or part ways, and it's clear one wants the former while the other wants the latter.

Curses - Man this one's lyrics just remind me of the plot a lot. "There's a fire in my brain and I'm burning up" & "This house says my name like an elegy" & "Ashes, ashes, dust to dust / The devil's after both of us" all just contain imagery that's very evocative of the plot for me

#the arcana #i'm not even gonna get into passerine today it's Just So Much. it's So Him.#thank you for the ask!! sorry for being abnormal about him it will happen again #pleiades replies!#oc:Saturn Citrinova

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pupvivi · 2 years

Text

Chaewon frowned at the scene before her. It was still early for her, around 5pm, and she was waiting for someone to come get her so she could leave. But that someone was too busy messing with their fellow bandmates, hooting and laughing every time she landed a kiss on the cheek.

Haseul was a very affectionate person, and if she even sensed something was off, she would go into overprotective mode. Determined to get a smile out of you. It was one of the many things that Chaewon liked about her.

Besides the obvious of her enjoying the company of older women who love to spoil her. But that was besides the point. She was hungry, and was ready to go somewhere with her girlfriend.

Blowing hair out of her face, she scoffed and pulled out her phone. She was leaning against a wall in the middle of halls leading from all the rooms.

She barely even made it halfway through her private throwaway Twitter before she heard someone clear their throat. Chaewon looked up, hoping it was Haseul done playing around. But it was a very serious Hyeju.

Squinting her eyes are took in her partner in crime. Something was off. Her hair was tussled, and her shirt looked stretched.

Hyeju's eyes narrowed, daring her to make a comment. The faintest dust of red made it's way to her cheeks. "Can I get by?" She finally asked, hoping Chaewon won't draw attention to the fact that her practice room was the opposite of where she was coming from.

Of course Chaewon who rarely gets the chance to tease Hyeju took the opportunity. "Of course. Would hate for our big bad wolf to gay panic in the halls. Did Yermie do that?" She motioned to her disgruntled look.

A groan escaped Hyeju's face. "None of your business, now move."

Chaewon raised her hands and moved aside. She knew full and well that if she didn't, Hyeju would just move her physically and she wasn't in the mood to be manhandled by anyone. "That's okay I can just ask her."

"Unnie, please." It wasn't everyday that Hyeju used that term. Not with her, since they used to be dubbed soulmates after all. Their captivity was more on the platonic side.

"Okay, okay, sorry."

Hyeju brushes past in her a way that told Chaewon that she wasn't mad, just embarrassed. "She kissed me first for the record." She whispered before slipping into her room, the door clicking behind her ending that conversation.

Chaewon was happy for her, especially since she's the one who was the middle man for those two for longer than she would have looked anyway.

Lost in her own thoughts she missed the curious look shot in her direction. As well as the footsteps leading towards her. Chaewon made a sound like a yelp and a grunt when she was pulled forward into Haseul's arms.

She had half a mind to curse, but ended up sinking and melting into the familiar embrace. "You zoning out over here?" Haseul's voice had a tinge of concern.

"A little, can we go?"

Haseul being able to drive was another point that Chaewon liked a lot. She got to ride passenger side, and control the playlist. Often mixing in new songs that caught her attention, only for her girlfriend to ask who is by.

For someone in their mid twenties she sure did struggle to keep up with trends. But it was okay, Chaewon would tease her a little and then explain who was coming back and how it was usually a b-side track.

Haseul tended to her real dramatic when Chaewon brought up age. Claiming that it was her charm, to act like an old soul. Chaewon has yet to deny it sadly.

"Do you have a taste for anything specific?" Haseul asked as they sat at a familiar red light. It was the longest one of their street, which gave them plenty of time to talk.

"It's been warm recently, maybe cold noodles? Hopefully to go." Chaewon but back a smile when her hand was grabbed and Haseul placed a kiss on the back of it. "Gross."

Haseul made a sound of distaste before applying pressure on the gas. "Only you say gross to my romantic gestures." A local place was input by Chaewon and Haseul was quick to adjust. Switching lanes so she could make the sudden right turn.

It was very attractive to watch Haseul drive with ease. She's seen Jungeun drive and she's still very green behind the wheel.

Dinner was now sitting in Chaewon's lap, along with an abundance of side dishes and Haseul's favorite beer. She was staying with Chaewon tonight so she could indulge in a drink.

Once parked, the two decided to take the stairs up to her place. It was only on the second floor.

Chaewon managed to input her code and turn the handle, letting the two of them inside. Shoes were carefully kicked off and the two simply made a bee line to the kitchen to place everything down.

It was still a little messy from this morning, but not enough to fuss over. Haseul slipped behind her, pressing a kiss to her cheek before scurrying away to her bathroom.

Chaewon took the chance to clean up a little bit, since the kitchen doubled as her dining area, with stools for them to eat at the counter space.

A quick wipe down, and throwing some very ripe fruit into her fridge, hoping to save them for one more day. She grabbed two bowls and even cracked open Haseul's beer, taking a sip even though she hated bitter drinks.

She didn't understand how it could taste like this, but when Haseul kissed her later, it was always so sweet.

"Did you want to split it?" Haseul asked, coming back to the kitchen and taking a seat next to her. Hey eyes danced with curiosity and something else.

Haseul was still an enigma to Chaewon. Seemingly having a lot of knowledge of things she didn't. It was cute sometimes, other times annoying. Maybe even frustrating at worst.

"Nope."

"Good I didn't want to share it anyway."

The two bumped into each other playfully before tearing into the noodle dish. Per usual, Haseul made sure to split it as evenly as she could, even with all the sides offered, Chaewon could be picky about things.

And of course, the gesture was greatly appreciated.

#i have a lot of thoughts about goonseul #Chaewon #Haseul #Chaeseul #Goonseul

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serendipitous-magic · 3 years

Note

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

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2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

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5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

_-_

10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery.

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story.

It also informs character behavior and personality.

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

#asks #anon #writing advice #writing tips #writing #fanfic writing #fanfiction #character creation #plot development #character development #my advice #original writing

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jikookiekosmos · 3 years

Text

Stay With Me || jjk

➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, husband!jungkook/reader

➥Summary: Being married to Jungkook was everything you’d wished for and more. There wasn’t a problem the two of you couldn’t tackle together, and building this life with the person you loved most was all you could ask for. But when a ghost from your past returns and threatens to pull you two apart in whatever way they can, will things still be the same?

➥Genre: established relationship, heavy angst (I’m so sorry), smut, fluff, hurt/comfort

➥Rating: 18+

➥Words: ~14.2k (more of a one shot than a drabble I know, oops)

Before you continue there are darker themes explored in this drabble; please read at your own risk. Appropriate warnings are listed below.

➥Content Warnings: POV switches, feelings of anxiety from being in danger, jungkook is protective (and for good reason), we see a pissed off hoseok, (tw: harassment, violence, implied/attempted kidnapping, reader gets injured), yoongi & jimin to the rescue (bless them), jungkook is pissed off (again for good reason), jungkook cries, reader also cries, jungkook has feelings of insecurity and not being good enough, they have ✨very emotional sex✨ up against a wall, cursing (fuck is said a lot), slight hair pulling, fingering (very brief), jungkook has a big dick, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), dirty talk, rough sex, cumming inside, aftercare, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops except there’s a twist this time around

A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! However, I would highly recommend reading OFY beforehand so as to better understand the relationships between these characters since there’s a lot of history behind everything that will make more sense. (I also mentioned this in the post for OFY but for those who haven’t read it, the Kun in the story isn’t referring to any other irl person specifically, it was just a name I chose to make the initial story easier to write.)

The POV switches between the reader and a few of the characters, but this will always be indicated by the name in the switch being bolded (i.e. you or Jungkook will be in bold, etc.).

I always do this but thank you to @dntaewithluv for keeping me sane during the writing process and giving me feedback as well as the motivation to continue when I feel discouraged, I love you so much 💜

I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:

Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait - ~6 months after OFY

When I Dream Of You - ~1 year after OFY

This fic takes place a few months after the dream drabble. I welcome feedback, so if you ever want to talk to me about my writing, please do! I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~

➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)

➥Series Masterlist

➥All Works Masterlist

taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn @diorkookie @swee3tcreature @sugaslittlekookies @moonchild1 @bangtanhome

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Visiting Jungkook at the bar during his shifts had become one of your favorite pastimes over the last few years. And not just because you got to see him, but also because it gave you a chance to get closer to some of his - and now your - friends as well.

Take tonight for example: you stopped by on your way home from work, and everything happened like it usually did. Jungkook’s smile was typically the first thing to greet you when you walked through the door before he and Jimin got into a playful bickering match about bar duties.

You parked yourself in your usual stool at the bar and watched the scene before you unfold - Jimin tossing one of the bar towels to Jungkook, who caught it with ease, all the while mumbling ‘less distraction and more action, Kook.’ Jungkook slung the towel over his shoulder before making a big show out of walking over to you.

“Hey pretty lady, what can I get for you tonight?” Jungkook’s voice was dripping with charm and it made you giggle. He leaned across the bar, resting his forearms on the wood. Even when he was just standing here in a plain black t-shirt with his dark hair curling in front of his eyes you still thought he was the most ethereal person you’d ever seen.

You hummed. “Hmm, I think I’ll have just a water, thanks.” Jungkook was already moving to fix your beverage before you even finished. “Do you always greet people like this,” you teased him as he sat the glass down in front of you.

He was wiping his hands on the towel still perched on his shoulder. “Nah, I only save it for the special ones. I am a married man, after all.”

You giggled again and he reached further across the bar to give you a quick kiss before being interrupted by Jimin again.

“You two are adorable, I love that, but I really could use some help over here, Kook!”

Jungkook playfully rolled his eyes before he excused himself to tend to his actual job. You just sat and observed while you drank, looking at him with loving eyes. He was really in his element here and it showed. All his customers were always happy patrons because he treated them all well.

Yeah, everything was playing out as it normally did on nights like these.

What you weren’t expecting, however, was for that to change.

On your way to find Yoongi so you could stop by and chat with him before heading home, you passed by a booth where a few rowdy men were seated. You tried to slip past them and pay them no mind-

-until one of them caught you by the wrist.

You froze. You wondered if maybe this was someone you knew and had possibly offended by not saying hello, but one look at the table let you know you’d never seen these 3 men before in your life.

“Hey, where you off to in a rush, baby?” The pet name made your skin crawl and you wanted nothing more than to just slink away and pretend like this never happened. But it was happening, the man’s tight grip on your wrist a reminder of that.

One of the other booth members spoke up. “Yeah, why not have a seat with us and talk for a bit? You look like you’re in need of some company.”

You shook your head and tried to muster a small smile so you could turn them down easy. You’d read and heard way too often about moments like these that could turn out badly if you acted a certain way.

“No thank you, I was just on my way out,” you hoped that would be the end of it, but the man holding your wrist wasn’t having it. He jerked you down to where you were seated right beside him in the empty space of the booth, making you whimper in pain when you hit the seat hard. His other friends laughed boisterously at your distress.

You situated yourself and looked up to see if you could spot someone, anyone around that you knew. You were unfortunately at the back corner of the bar, since Yoongi’s office was around here.

You tried to get up and make a break for it, but the man pulled you down again. “C’mon sweetheart, we don’t wanna hurt you. We just wanna talk, that’s all.”

Before you could respond, another voice cut through.

“Hands off,” the voice was low and stern, making all heads at the booth turn. When you looked up you saw Hoseok standing above you, arms crossed and looking pissed.

“Hoseok,” you breathed out, grateful that he was working the floor tonight and had stopped by before the situation escalated.

Hoseok didn’t say another word as his eyes drifted down to you quickly before glaring at the man still holding on to you.

“Lighten up, man, we’re just trying to have some fun-”

“I saw the whole thing and she’s clearly not wanting to engage in your idea of ‘fun’ so again: hands off.” Hoseok’s fingers flexed around his forearm, and apparently that was all the warning they needed.

The man let go of you and shoved you away from him, almost making you fall to the ground if Hoseok hadn’t steadied you. He wrapped an arm around you before calling out.

“Joon, Jin, need a hand here!”

Within seconds, the bodyguards of the establishment - also friends of yours - were at the table, looking as intimidating as ever. The 3 men still seated were starting to look a lot less pleased about the ordeal.

“I think these 3 have had it for the night,” Hoseok stated, starting to walk the both of you away so your friends could work their magic. You looked back at them one last time, just barely catching their interaction, which consisted of Seokjin promptly putting one of the men in his place when he tried to throw a punch.

When Hoseok had you seated in an empty booth at the other end of the bar, he knelt down beside you.

“Hey. You ok?” His voice had lost all its frightening timbre, now laced with nothing but concern. You didn’t realize you were still a little shaky until you noticed yourself trembling. You nodded, the best answer you could give right now.

Hoseok patted your knee before he stood up. “Stay here, I’m going to go get Kook-”

You reached out lightning fast to grab onto his sleeve before you pleaded “Don’t.”

Hoseok’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What, why not?”

“I don’t- I don’t want him to worry.” You were telling the truth; Jungkook had been on edge lately, and things were finally starting to get somewhat back to normal. If you didn’t have to add to that worry, you didn’t want to.

Hoseok’s frown deepened. “Y/N-”

“There you are!”

That voice that always managed to make your heart flutter only made you panic more in this instance. Jungkook was walking over to your booth quickly with a huge smile on his face, waving to the two of you. Hoseok moved out of the way so Jungkook could see you more, and you tried your best to smile back.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Jungkook addressed you as he pushed his hair out of his face. “I thought you went to go talk to Yoongi, but he said he hadn’t seen you yet.”

“Yeah, I was just on my way, but I ran into Hoseok-”

“Y/N,” Hoseok warned. Jungkook’s smile turned into one of confusion.

“What’s going on,” Jungkook was quick to ask before you could respond. It was then that he fully noticed how you were seated, somewhat curled into yourself.

“You need to tell him,” Hoseok’s eyes were burning into yours, and Jungkook felt a small pit of unease settle in his stomach. He knelt down beside you, similar to how Hoseok had done moments prior.

“Angel, hey, talk to me. What’s this about?” Jungkook took one of your hands in his and shook it slightly before placing a kiss on the back of it.

“It’s nothing, really-”

“Some guy put his hands on her.” Hoseok clearly was over you beating around the bush.

“What,” Jungkook’s tone was slipping into one you didn’t recognize and for good reason: he sounded furious. His hand tightened around yours.

Hoseok nodded, Jungkook’s attention on him now. “Yeah, I’m glad I noticed. Saw some dude grab her wrist and pull her down into the booth with them.”

Jungkook was up on his feet, hand disappearing from yours.

“What the fuck, where did they go,” he started to walk off but Hoseok held him back.

“Joon and Jin already took care of it, don’t worry. But I still just thought you should know.” Hoseok patted Jungkook on the shoulder and you watched as his body, still visibly tense, relaxed somewhat.

“I gotta get back to work, you can take a little time though, yeah?” Hoseok started walking off after giving you one last look, almost as if he was saying sorry but you knew he did the right thing.

Jungkook took a deep breath before finally looking back at you, his face softening instantly. He slid into the seat across from you, placing his palms on the table as he looked down.

“Koo-”

“Are you ok, at least,” his voice was low, but you could still hear it just over the faint tunes of the jukebox.

“I’m fine-”

“Define fine,” he scoffed. It was clear the two of you wouldn’t get anywhere like this, so you did the only thing you could think to do: you reached out and took both his hands in yours.

Jungkook looked up then through the curtain of tresses still falling into his eyes. He sighed.

“Sorry, baby, I know I shouldn’t be acting like this. It’s just- with everything we’ve been through with him I can’t help but worry about stuff like this.”

You understood completely because you were in the same boat.

Both of you had recently been experiencing less than pleasant encounters with your ex-fiancé, Kun, who for some reason decided he had a vendetta against the two of you. A vendetta that only got worse when you both made it clear you wanted nothing to do with him ever again.

The past week had been pretty quiet, but neither of you could shake the awful feeling that Kun wasn’t gone for good. And tonight’s fiasco did nothing to help that.

“Well it’s over now and I’m ok and I didn’t get hurt so let’s try not to focus on it, yeah?” You squeezed his hands for emphasis and he sighed. The last thing you wanted was for Jungkook to be worried the rest of his shift, and he still had a few hours left.

“Yeah, I’ll try. I’m just so glad Hoseok was around...are you still wanting to talk to Yoongi?”

You nodded, happy to see Jungkook had relaxed some more from when he first sat across from you.

“I’ll take you to his office, then.” Jungkook got up, pulling you with him since his hands were still in yours. When you both were standing, he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug.

He looked down at you before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Also I hate to ask but do you mind staying until I get done with my shift? I’m not too keen on the idea of you going home alone now with everything-“

You giggled and caressed his cheek. “Of course, Koo. I’ll come sit at the bar when I get done talking to Yoongi.”

Jungkook brushed his nose against yours. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” you responded before you reached up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. His hold around you tightened, and he deepened the kiss for only a moment before pulling back.

“Fuck, I forgot I’m at work, I need to be careful when you’re around.” He carded a hand through his hair before shaking his head to let it fall back into place.

You laughed at his flustered nature, feeling a bit flustered yourself at the fact that even now you still had such an effect on each other. “Well we are back here in a dark corner where not many people are around,” you teased.

Jungkook smirked before tickling your sides, making you laugh louder as you squirmed to get away.

“Don’t tempt me. I’d rather not get fired for public indecency if I can help it.”

“Fine, fine, I guess just take me to see Yoongi then,” you pretended to pout and were rewarded with a chuckle. He led you to the back now where Yoongi’s office was at, his hand wrapped around yours while he scanned the bar the whole way there.

When the two of you reached the familiar door, Jungkook gave your hand one last squeeze and kissed your cheek.

“I’ve gotta get back to the bar, just come chill up there when you’re done, yeah?” His eyebrows were slightly furrowed like he was still worried, but your gentle smile helped smooth them out.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon.”

You knocked on the door and after hearing Yoongi’s muffled greeting you opened it to walk through, not sparing another glance at Jungkook.

“Y/N! I was wondering when you might be stopping by.” Yoongi smiled brightly at you, always making you feel welcome no matter the circumstance. You took a seat in your usual spot across from his desk where he was currently reclining in his chair.

“Hey, Yoon. How are things?” It’d been a little while since the two of you had properly caught up since things had been so chaotic lately.

Yoongi shrugged. “Can’t complain. Business is good and we’ve been pulling in more regulars. I’d like to say it’s thanks to Jungkook but don’t tell him I told you that. Kid has a big enough head as it is.”

You couldn’t help the proud grin that stretched across your face. Jungkook had been working hard to help turn the bar into a more welcoming environment and increased his work hours to also assist with some building upgrades Yoongi had been wanting to install for years. Their business had increased exponentially as a result, so you knew Yoongi meant it when he said he had Jungkook to thank.

“I’ll be sure to keep it our little secret,” you brought your hand up to mimic a ‘shh’ expression and Yoongi chuckled.

“Perfect.” He leaned forward then, an elbow resting on his desk and his head supported by his palm. “So tell me: how’s married life?”

“It’s everything I could ever want and more. I can’t say much has changed except the whole ‘legally being bound together’ thing, since we still act the same. It’s just…nice. Really, really nice.” Your gaze drifted down to your wedding ring, and as it was with every other time you saw it, you could feel something akin to butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

Yoongi gave you his trademark lopsided grin. “Glad to hear it. You know, I was always rooting for you two from the start.”

You feigned annoyance, playfully rolling your eyes. “I know, I know, you only tell me every chance you get.” Yoongi never took a liking to your ex-fiancé and had always favored Jungkook, this much you knew. Even before Kun turned into the person he was now, Yoongi never cared for him. And he made sure it was known.

“Have you thought about when you’re going to pop the question?” You decided to switch gears and put him on the spot, giggling at the way he seemed flustered.

“Well I uh, I’ve thought about it I just- it’s hard to figure out the right time, you know? And is she even ready for that, I can’t tell-”

“Min Yoongi, you stop that right now. She is so in love with you that I bet she’s ready for you to ask any day now, just so she can say yes like she’s been wanting to for so long now.” You had spent enough time around Yoongi and his long-term partner to know that the two were head-over-heels for each other, nearly rivaling you and Jungkook in how easy it was to tell.

Yoongi grinned. “You think so, huh?”

“No doubt in my mind. In fact-” you were cut off by the feeling of your phone vibrating in your pocket. You hastily took it out, not sure who could be calling at this hour.

It dawned on you then that you had been expecting a new client to call, and the number on your screen was one you didn’t recognize so you figured it could be them. Your boss had heavily expressed the importance of this client and their business venture they were offering, so without giving it another thought you hopped out of your chair.

“Sorry Yoon, I need to take this real quick. Do you mind if I step out the back door? It shouldn’t take too long.” You were already heading to leave his office, trying to catch the call before it stopped ringing, barely missing his soft “Go ahead.”

You bolted through the back door of the establishment, out into the dimly lit parking lot. As soon as you heard the door shut, you swiftly answered the call.

“Hello, this is Y/N speaking, may I ask who’s calling?” You gave your usual greeting for work related or other conversations when you didn’t recognize the number. The silence that you were met with on the other end made a chill run down your spine.

You froze altogether when the other voice spoke.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to answer calls from numbers you don’t know?”

You felt your lower lip tremble. “K-Kun?”

A dark chuckle from the other end of the line. “Missed me, sweetheart?”

‘Just hang up,’ your brain was screaming at you, but you were holding your phone in an iron-tight grip, knuckles taut.

“Leave me alone and never contact me again,” you were finally able to respond, moving your arm to bring your phone down to hang up.

Your phone hit the ground before you got the chance.

Someone had come up behind you and pulled both arms behind your back, a hand coming around to muffle the scream you let out.

“Shhh,” someone whispered beside your ear. “You don’t want to make this harder for yourself, hm?”

That voice, why did you recognize that voice?

The person started dragging you off into one of the darker corners of the parking lot, ignoring your futile attempts to kick and writhe out of their grasp. You continued screaming into their palm but to no avail.

When you reached where they wanted you to be, they let you go and pushed you down onto the ground, causing your back to hit the wall and briefly knock the breath out of you. Before you could pick yourself back up, 2 other shadowy figures blocked your path. There was just enough light for you to finally make out the faces of the 3 people standing over you.

They were the same ones from earlier in the bar, the ones who had harassed you and yanked you down into their booth.

“What do you want,” you sobbed out into the night air. You were too terrified to try screaming again, afraid of what they might do. Especially now that you were across the lot, away from your phone and any chance of contacting someone else. Not to mention the fact that it was loud inside the bar, so screaming wouldn’t do you many favors anyway.

And if someone walked by, nothing would look out of the ordinary since it was just dark enough where you were to obscure the vision of anyone looking from the outside.

Before any of them could answer you, there was another sound you heard faintly in the distance: footsteps.

“Hel-,” you started to cry out, but as if they knew what you were planning, one of the men dropped down and covered your mouth again, now letting you see who was approaching behind them. Your eyes widened in terror as you took in the newcomer’s sinister grin.

You watched as Kun nodded to the other 2 men and they moved aside, while the third one still keeping your mouth covered moved slightly out of the way. Kun knelt down and moved his hand, replacing it with his own before you could scream again.

“Well well, fancy seeing you here.” Kun reached out and caressed your check with the back of his other hand, making you let out a strangled whimper as you tried to move back and away from him. He shook his head at your action and grabbed onto one of your arms now instead, pulling you and himself up in a swift motion.

His grip around your arm was painful, making you wince. Kun either didn’t notice or didn’t care. One look into his eyes was enough to see that the man you’d spent many years of your life with was completely gone with no trace left whatsoever. You didn’t know this person standing in front of you now.

And you didn’t ever want to.

“Now, I’m gonna move my hand, and you’re not gonna scream. Got it? Because if you do,” he moved forward to where his face was inches away from yours now. “I promise this will be so much worse for you. And you know I always keep my promises, don’t you?”

Kun was laughing before you could react at all, knowing good and well he’d broken several promises during your time together. He must have taken your silence as compliance because you could feel his hand relaxing around your face.

“Good girl,” the words made you shudder repulsively, wanting nothing more than for this to be just a terrible figment of your imagination and for you to be back inside at the bar waiting on Jungkook.

Jungkook. The thought of him caused a lump to form in your throat. You had no idea what Kun had planned for you, and that caused your heart to constrict as the vision of Jungkook smiling lovingly at you flashed through your mind.

You squeezed your eyes shut and felt a tear roll down your cheek. You opened them again once you felt Kun’s hand disappear.

“Ah, so you can take direction well. I guess Jungkook’s trained you somewhat since you’re his bitch now-”

“What do you want,” you asked through gritted teeth. The last thing you wanted to hear come from this man’s mouth was the name of your beloved. You didn’t want him brought up at all, the less this was focused on Jungkook the better.

But, since it was Kun, that obviously didn’t happen.

Kun laughed again, a loud, ugly sound. “What do I want? The same thing I’ve always wanted. Isn’t it obvious?”

The 3 men were crowded around both of you now, and it dawned on you then that they were blocking any means of escape for you. That didn’t bode well for you and you knew it, but you held your ground. You didn’t want to give Kun any more of the upper hand than he already had.

Kun finally dropped his other hand from your arm in favor of now caging you in against the wall. You were trapped even more now, but you just stared back at him, trying your best to look unfazed. Kun dipped his head down and you held your breath.

“What I want,” you could feel him barely hovering over your lips and the feeling made your skin crawl, “is for Jungkook to pay.”

“Pay for what,” you couldn’t help your annoyed tone. Kun’s obsession with Jungkook and ‘coming out on top’ – whatever that even meant, you weren’t entirely sure – had gotten old and you were beyond sick of it. “He owes you nothing, we owe you nothing.”

Kun hummed and shook his head, his nose almost brushing against yours, but you turned your head and let it graze against your cheek.

”I don’t think you get to decide that, not in the position you’re in, anyway. You see, I’m tired of seeing Jungkook get literally everything handed to him without trying-”

“Jungkook has worked hard for everything he has, something you wouldn’t know about,” you spat back. Kun was right, you were certainly in no position to be talking back right now, but you wouldn’t stand idly by while he slandered Jungkook just because he felt like it. “You’ve always been jealous of him-”

“Shut up, shut up!” Kun snarled, all but yelling in your face before he grabbed you by the jaw. You grimaced from the pain of it, a sound something like a scream starting but dying in your throat.

“You fucking infuriate me sometimes, you know that? I can’t believe I wasted so many years with you.” His grip around your jaw tightened as he finished talking, making it almost too hard for you to respond.

“Likewise,” you managed to get out, not being able to help the sob you let out when he squeezed more.

“Doesn’t matter.” Kun’s face stretched into that evil, Cheshire-like grin and for the first time that night you felt genuinely horrified about what his true intentions might be. “I’m not concerned with you or how you feel.”

Kun finally let go of your jaw and you let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. He grabbed one of your wrists and tugged you closer, knocking you off balance and unfortunately causing you to brace yourself against his chest.

He hugged you to him and whispered in your ear: “What I do care about is seeing Jungkook’s reaction when his precious wife is suddenly nowhere to be found.”

That kicked you into fight or flight mode, eyes widening and mouth opening to scream as you flailed your hands around. Your flailing did little to help you because Kun was already dragging you alongside him away from the wall, still holding you close.

“Let me go, you psycho!” you screamed, only causing him to turn you around and put a hand over your mouth again while his other arm held you firm against his torso.

“One of you bring the car around,” Kun ordered, and you saw one of the men dashing away. As you were pulled further away from the bar, your vision was clouded with a film of tears and your muffled sobs were hidden behind Kun’s hand. You were no match for his strength, and he proved it because he was literally dragging you across the concrete despite you being so uncooperative. Gentle raindrops had just started falling from the sky, further impairing your vision.

It was then that you heard a pained grunt followed by a thud coming from a little further away, in the direction the other man had ran off to. You tried to focus your eyes to see what was happening when the next sound that graced your ears was fast footsteps as they pounded against the pavement.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!”

A familiar voice made you cry out with joy and fight harder against Kun.

“Yoongi,” you cried out, still muffled but enough to draw his attention to your face now. He was running toward Kun fast, and when he saw the position you were in, he sped up, determined to free you by any means necessary.

You briefly worried about the other men behind him, until you saw that another was already knocked down and someone else – you thought it might be Jimin – was currently fighting with the third man. While your attention was on them, you didn’t register Kun tossing you aside until it was too late.

You slipped on the now wet pavement and fell down, barely able to brace yourself for the impact in time. Your earlier vision of Jungkook smiling was the last thing to flash through your mind before your head hit the ground.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Yoongi glanced at his watch for the second time. It’d been about 10 minutes since you stepped outside to take your phone call, and he figured it had to have been important if you were still outside.

As he was wondering whether or not to call you himself to see if everything was alright, Jimin stuck his head inside the office, peeking around the door. “Hey boss, is Y/N around?”

Yoongi sat up straight. “Yeah, she stepped outside to take a call but it’s been a few minutes. Why?”

Jimin’s face blanched. “She went alone?”

“Yeah... Jimin’s what’s going on?”

Jimin took a deep breath. “It’s probably nothing, but earlier there were some guys that straight up harassed her. They were thrown out but-“

Yoongi held a hand up. “Wait. Pause. Someone harassed her? Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

Jimin had stepped fully into the room now, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked at the ground. “Well it wasn’t that long ago, so maybe nobody had the chance yet.”

Yoongi’s brows furrowed. “Does Jungkook know?”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah, he’s the one who asked me to come check on her without being too obvious about it. I think the whole thing has him spooked.”

Yoongi didn’t like the feeling that was slowly creeping up on him. He dialed your number and put the receiver to his ear, hoping to hear a busy signal on the other end.

When he was met with a series of rings, his heart started beating faster. He was up and out of his chair fully by the time he heard your voicemail greeting.

“Fuck,” he mumbled out loud to no one in particular. He was jogging over to the back door, a confused Jimin following close behind.

“Yoongi, what-”

“Not now, Jimin.” He picked up his pace, feeling his chest tighten as he approached the door. He was hoping that when he opened it you would be on the other side, because maybe you just lost track of time and your phone was on silent.

Wishful thinking helps in times of peril, right?

Yoongi pushed the door open quickly, letting it bang against the side of the bar. You were nowhere in sight, his eyes frantically searching through the lot for a trace of you.

What he was met with, though, was instead the sight of 3 - maybe 4? - dark figures across the lot, huddled in a suspicious way. His heart dropped to his stomach.

He started running, not knowing what would meet him when he did, but not caring either. As he approached, one of the figures tried to block him. He took them down easily with a single punch, making them groan in pain as their body connected with the ground. Yoongi never stopped running for even a moment.

His heart wrenched when his vision finally adjusted enough to the darkness outside and he could see you and exactly who was holding you.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” He shouted as he continued running, getting ready to barrel into Kun at any moment.

Hearing your faint cry of his name only made him go faster when his eyes landed on your horrified face.

It was raining now but Yoongi wouldn’t let that stop him from saving you. What he didn’t anticipate was for Kun to throw you in the opposite direction, making him conflicted about who to go after now. He settled for pursuing Kun still, finally reaching him and grabbing him by the shirt.

“What the actual fuck is your problem,” Yoongi yelled in Kun’s face. Kun brought his hands up to try and tear Yoongi’s away, but they wouldn’t budge.

Kun stopped trying to fight back and smiled at Yoongi, making a fresh wave of disgust cascade over him. When Kun spoke, his voice had a calm edge to it. “I’ll just keep coming back, no matter how many times you and those idiots in there,” he jerked his head in the direction of the bar, “try to keep me away.”

Yoongi quickly spun Kun around and forced him to the ground, keeping his hands behind his back and not giving him a way to escape. “Jimin, call the cops,” he called over his shoulder before leaning closer to Kun’s face. “We may not be able to keep you away, but they certainly can with all the dirt we have on you.”

Kun chuckled slightly before grimacing when Yoongi twisted his arm further. “You know,” he huffed out, “Y/N was pretty off balance when I threw her earlier.”

Yoongi stilled. He realized that Kun was trying to distract him by making him worry about you, and unfortunately for Yoongi it was working. Especially when his eyes fell on your unmoving figure several feet away, lying on your side.

“Shit,” he jumped up and ran over to you, completely abandoning Kun, beyond caring at that point. He knelt down and turned you over. He swallowed when he saw the way your arm landed limply on the ground beside him. He embraced your upper body within his arms, shaking you a little.

“Y/N, hey, wake up,” he begged. He could feel that you were still breathing, but it was very evident your fall had knocked you out. And Yoongi knew there was no telling what happened before he even got to you, so he had no clue how injured you might actually be.

He heard footsteps approaching from behind him, splashing against the puddles that were starting to form in the parking lot. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Jimin, since the other man was calling out his name before he got there.

“Yoongi, I called them, they said – wait where did he go?” Jimin was standing over Yoongi now, looking from one area of the parking lot to the other, but Kun was nowhere in sight. “Did you let him leave?”

Yoongi’s silence prompted Jimin to finally look down and his mouth dropped open as he himself dropped to kneel next to Yoongi.

“Holy shit, what happened,” Jimin reached out to gingerly touch your arm, frown deepening when he got no response from you.

“She probably hit her head when that bastard threw her earlier. She’s just knocked out, I think,” Yoongi’s voice was lined with unbridled anger. “Go see if you can find Jin since he’s the closest thing we have to a medic right now. And get Kook.”

Jimin nodded and without another word took off toward the bar. Yoongi couldn’t fathom how Jungkook would react but he knew it wouldn’t be good. As he waited, he held you closer, trying to shield you from the rain.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Jungkook’s fingers were drumming against the bar absentmindedly as he listened to one of his regular patrons drone on about their week as they usually did on nights like tonight. He was genuinely trying to focus on what they were saying, truly he was, but his mind had been so muddled ever since the incident earlier that he found it hard to think about anything else.

Which is exactly why he had asked Jimin to casually check in on you and Yoongi.

It’d been a few minutes and Jimin still wasn’t back; Jungkook hoped that they were all 3 chatting and Jimin was just taking his time. He did want him to be inconspicuous about it, after all.

His patron finally excused themselves to go to the restroom, and Jungkook offered them a soft smile. For a second, he allowed himself to take a deep breath and try to push any lingering negative thoughts out of his mind so he could make it through the rest of his shift.

Jungkook should’ve known better than to hope for a moment’s peace.

He heard Jimin before he saw him, colliding with the other end of the bar. Jungkook cautiously started walking over to him, trying to ignore the heavy feeling that settled over his body like a suffocating blanket.

“Kook,” Jimin panted, “we need you. Now.”

The expression on Jimin’s face and the urgency of his voice made Jungkook’s blood run cold. He wasted no time in leaving the bar as he followed Jimin, nearly running him over when Jimin stopped once they were outside. As his sight adjusted to the drizzling rain, he saw something that made him run as fast as he could before eventually falling to his knees, panic seizing his heart.

“No. No no no no no,” Jungkook was chanting over and over as he stared at you, huddled against Yoongi as he held you close. Your eyes were closed and you weren’t moving.

Jungkook’s hands were shaking, and he could feel his lips quivering. Yoongi stared at Jungkook somberly before gentle passing you over to him.

He immediately drew you to him, burying your face in his chest while he cradled the back of your head with his palm.

The rain started pouring down harder now and he knew it was pelting against his back, cold and wet enough to chill him to the bone. But Jungkook felt nothing. There was nothing but numbness as he continued to rock you gently in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“Hey angel, I’m here,” his voice was unsteady. “It’s me, baby, I’ve got you. You’re gonna be ok,” his arm that was wrapped around your back tightened its hold on you and he placed his head in the crook of your neck. You still didn’t rouse, no matter what he tried, and his shoulders started to shake.

“Kook-” Yoongi had to talk loud to be heard over the sudden downpour. “We need to get her inside.” He tried reaching out to touch Jungkook’s arm but Jungkook flinched away, embracing you even tighter now as if he was trying to protect you from anything and everything.

He just wanted to protect you. And the fact that he had failed was currently eating him alive with regret.

Yoongi sighed but tried again. “Jungkook,” he said it softer this time but still loud enough, “let’s take her inside. You don’t want her to get sick.”

At the mention of your well-being potentially suffering further damage, Jungkook started to somewhat come back to his senses. He held you tight and stood up with a little help from Yoongi, making sure to keep you as close to his chest as possible so you wouldn’t get soaked and because right now, he needed you near.

When the 3 of you were inside, Yoongi ushered you all into his office since there was a small couch in there were you could lie down. Jungkook placed you as gently as possible on the couch, feeling his heart break piece by piece every second you remained unmoving. The only thing that could offer him solace was the faint rise and fall of your chest as you breathed.

He dropped to sit on the floor beside the couch, holding one of your hands in his while he used his other one to brush some of your wet hair out of your face. He leaned his forehead against the arm of the couch and inhaled shakily.

Yoongi was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, looking at the two of you. Jungkook appreciated Yoongi for giving him time to try and calm down before talking again.

“What happened,” Jungkook managed to croak after a minute or so had passed.

Yoongi took a deep breath. “Kun was here.”

Jungkook whipped his head around fast, his hair splaying water droplets on the couch. His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, and Yoongi had never seen him look so angry.

He’d never seen Jungkook look so hurt.

“Kun did this to her,” Jungkook asked, tone low and dark, but it came out more as a statement because he already knew. He could tell by the angered inflection in Yoongi’s voice when he mentioned Kun.

Yoongi nodded. “Unfortunately. When I first made it outside, he was holding onto her, dragging her away-”

“Dragging her where,” his hand that was holding yours involuntarily squeezed harder.

Yoongi shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, it looked like he was trying to take her to a car…”

Jungkook didn’t miss the way he trailed off. He waited for Yoongi to collect his thoughts.

“Jungkook, I- I think he may have been trying to abduct her.”

Jungkook felt like the room had suddenly tilted. The idea of that – God, the idea of anything remotely close to that – made him feel violently ill.

He looked at your face then, noticing how it wasn’t scrunched up in pain; you actually looked quite peaceful despite the circumstances, almost like you were simply in a deep slumber. He tried hard to swallow around the ever-growing lump that was still forming in his throat when he brushed his fingertips along the length of your arm.

You were here, physically here. He could see you and he could touch you. Yoongi had saved you in time before you had been whisked away to who knows where. The fact that Kun had even dared to try to take you away… the possibility of you being gone and Jungkook not knowing where you had been taken to or if he’d ever see you again-

It made Jungkook see red.

This isn’t the life he wanted for you. He never wanted you to have to look over your shoulder in fear at the idea of someone following you, like you’d been doing the last several weeks. He never ever wanted you to get hurt, especially in such a way as this.

He could feel anger flowing through his veins, seeping into his bones and consuming him, with the only thing able to ground him right now being the feeling of your soft hand enveloped by his own.

Yoongi was saying more but Jungkook couldn’t make it out over his own voice screaming at him inside his head. His mind was waging a war with itself, questioning so many things-

Was he really the best person for you?

Was there someone out there who could protect you, who could keep you safe in ways he couldn’t?

…

Would loving you be enough if he could never fully promise you peace?

What if-

“Jungkook,” Yoongi’s stern voice cut through the thick fog of his mind and Jungkook shook his head to try clear it completely. He focused his attention on his friend that was now staring at him, sporting a frown on his face full of concern.

“Did you hear anything I just said?”

Jungkook gulped. “Honestly? No.”

Yoongi’s frown intensified. “Kook-”

“Don’t, just- please repeat it. Please.”

Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he continued. “I was saying that Kun threw her to the ground and that’s how she hit her head.”

Jungkook’s unoccupied hand balled into a fist and he clenched his jaw. Yoongi could see him tense up but continued speaking.

“I asked Jimin to fetch Jin seeing as he’s had more medical training than any of us and I figured it’d be better than waiting on an ambulance.”

He had barely gotten the last word out before there was hurried knocking on the door. Yoongi walked over to the door quickly to open it, and Jin rushed in without a moment’s hesitation.

“Sorry it took so long, I needed to get supplies.” He made his way to the couch, crouching down in front of it next to Jungkook. He placed the bag he was carrying down onto the ground beside him as he started sifting through it to find other things he needed. Jungkook watched Jin without really seeing him, flinching a little when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Kook,” Yoongi said softly as Jungkook looked up at him. “We need to let Jin look at her. C’mon,” he patted his shoulder before walking away, and Jungkook knew Yoongi expected him to follow him.

Jungkook also knew Yoongi was right, and he needed to let Jin get to work. He hated the thought of leaving you, but he knew he wasn’t going far. In fact, he wasn’t even going to leave the room, and if he was encouraged to, well-

There wasn’t anything anyone could do to make him leave that room short of physically removing him themselves. And with how wound up Jungkook was about this entire situation, that wouldn’t be an easy feat by any means.

Thankfully, Yoongi didn’t ask him to leave, opting instead to offer him his office chair. Jungkook graciously accepted the offer and sat down, briefly observing how Jin carefully examined you from across the room before he placed his head in his hands.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

Some time passed before Jungkook felt like he could properly breathe again. And he was only feeling like that now because you had finally started to stir.

As soon as the faintest noise was heard from you, Jungkook was out of his seat and in front of the couch again.

You groaned as you rubbed your eyes, trying to adjust to the light by blinking a few times. After doing this, you tilted your head to the side and your eyes landed on Jungkook. He inhaled sharply, feeling like he might break apart when you gave him the sweetest smile.

“Koo,” you breathed out softly as your hand reached up to caress his cheek. He vaguely heard Jin telling Yoongi something about you still having decent control over your motor skills being a good sign, but right now all his focus was on you specifically.

Well, he was also focusing on not having a breakdown, but you were most important.

His hand came up to cover yours that was still on his face and for the first time in what felt like ages, his lips curved upward into a smile.

“Hey, angel,” he responded. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Well, my head hurts but otherwise I’m fine? A little sore, though-”

“That’s probably from your fall earlier,” Jin interrupted, pulling your attention back to him. You looked at him, bewildered.

“I fell? When did I fall?”

Yoongi and Jungkook shared a look then, and Jungkook would be lying if he said you not remembering what happened didn’t worry him.

It worried him a lot, actually.

Jin hummed. “We can talk about it later. I need to examine you now though, ok? Make sure you don’t have any signs of a concussion or something else.”

The scared look on your face made Jungkook’s chest tighten.

“O-ok, yeah, sure. Do whatever you need to,” you said as you tried to sit up straight, Jungkook and Jin both helping to steady you as you did.

It didn’t take long for Jin to conduct his examination. While he was checking you over, Yoongi relayed the events from earlier to you and Jungkook observed as the look in your eyes switched from one of confusion to one of horror the more Yoongi went on.

“I-I remember now. Right before you came out there, Kun told me-” you trailed off, speaking to Yoongi but looking over at Jungkook now. His heart started beating painfully when you paused.

“What did he tell you, baby?”

You inhaled unevenly, the sight tearing Jungkook up even more on the inside. “He told me that he wanted to see your reaction when I was nowhere to be found.”

This time, he swore his heart stopped.

So Kun had not only planned to take you away, but he wanted to make sure you couldn’t be found?

Jungkook made a promise to himself then and there that if he ever saw Kun again, he’d-

“Koo?”

Your pleading tone made Jungkook’s eyes snap back up to your face. You were trying to give him a small smile, but he could still see the fear lying behind your eyes.

“It’s going to be ok,” you attempted to reassure him. “Don’t worry.”

Jungkook had no idea how you could sit here an expect him not to worry but he didn’t want to fight you on it. You’d both had enough excitement for one night so all he did was nod and hope that would suffice for now.

His mind was starting to race again with the same kind of thoughts he had earlier, plaguing him with questions he didn’t know the answers to.

Frankly, he didn’t even know if he wanted the answers either.

Jin stood up from where he was seated on the floor, straightening himself up and stretching his long limbs. “She’s going to be fine. Just keep an eye on her for the next few days, but I don’t see anything to be alarmed about. If anything changes, you can call me but also if you’re more comfortable going to a hospital, that’s fine too. I won’t be offended.”

Jungkook smiled at his eldest friend. “Thank you, Jin. Seriously, thank you.”

Jin nodded, offering a warm smile to you before exiting the room.

Yoongi walked over to the couch and ruffled your hair. Jungkook watched the exchange with fondness, seeing two of the people he cared about most in the world also caring for each other.

“I’m so glad you’re ok,” Yoongi said, sounding utterly tired. You thanked him again for what he had done, and Jungkook left the two of you alone momentarily so he could check on Jimin and Hoseok at the bar. They entertained him for all of maybe 5 seconds before shooing him away, assuring him that they could handle things and that he should just take you home and be with you right now.

Jungkook thought nothing sounded better.

When he made it back to Yoongi’s office, he saw that you were now sitting on the armrest of the couch. Yoongi must have helped you get up from the couch, seeing as he was standing beside you, and Jungkook strode over to take his place now with an arm around your waist. Yoongi didn’t say anything about him leaving other than to wish you both a goodnight and that he would talk to Jungkook later.

Jungkook helped you walk to the car, not letting you go for even a fraction of a second, despite your teasing him about being able to walk on your own. Be that as it may, he still wouldn’t let go, because the truth of the matter was he was just too scared to.

It wasn’t until you were both in the car riding home that Jungkook let those negative thoughts devour him once more.

And this time, they were almost impossible to shake away.

⊱──────── ✬ ✬ ✬ ────────⊰

When both of you finally arrived home, Jungkook opened the door and surveyed the room before letting you go inside. You knew his paranoia was at an all-time high right now and frankly you couldn’t blame him; you were still really unsettled, too.

But you were more of the mindset that it’s in the past now and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You never liked to dwell too long on things and Jungkook was becoming better about that as well.

You weren’t sure if it’d be that easy this time, though.

He’d barely said a word to you the whole ride home, and even now as you were both standing by the front door while he locked it, he was still eerily quiet. Once it was sufficiently locked enough by Jungkook’s standards, he gave you one last look before he started walking down the hallway. You frowned and followed him.

“Koo?”

No response.

“Baby? Talk to me.” It looked like he was trying to go to the kitchen, but it was still dark in the house since he’d barely turned on any of the lights, so you weren’t sure. Still no answer.

“Jungkook.” You called out sternly this time and just barely spotted him as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he heard you walk in, he finally spoke.

“You should eat something, what do you want?”

His voice broke your heart.

“I’m not hungry-”

“You can go lay down, Jin said you didn’t have a concussion so it should be fine. I can bring some food up for you.” He was leaning against the counter in front of the sink, his back turned to you and his head hanging somewhat.

He sounded not at all like himself, and it scared you. Not in the way that you were scared of him, but you were scared because you didn’t know what to do.

Talking was obviously getting you nowhere, so you instead walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind, placing your cheek against his back. He flinched.

“Baby, please,” his voice sounded like it was breaking so you just held him tighter, hoping he could feel your love from the way you embraced him as if you never wanted to let him go.

“Koo, I need you to talk to me. I need to know what’s wrong-”

“What’s wrong is me,” he gritted out, tone louder than before and it made you jump. He then released himself from your arms and tried to walk away.

“Jungkook, wait,” you scrambled to go after him, catching him before he could disappear into another room, this time turning him around to face you. He was leaning against the wall and didn’t try to move past you anymore, but he avoided your gaze.

“Koo, look at me,” you stressed, ducking down to peek up at him. He finally raised his head so you could look into his eyes at a normal level. You noticed the tears in the corner of his eyes, and it nearly made you start crying yourself.

Jungkook never hid his vulnerability from you, he never hid anything from you. But even so, it was still a rare sight to see him cry.

“Why do you want to be around me right now,” he questioned, voice wavering and you recognized the sound. He was trying to hold himself back from crying.

“Koo, what do you mean, why wouldn’t I want to be around you? I love you-”

“I couldn’t protect you,” his voice rose in pitch, not to talk over you but because he was just so upset. “I couldn’t save you, I wasn’t around to help you- God, baby, you got fucking attacked and I wasn’t there.”

He was trembling and you tried to steady him by placing your hands on his shoulders. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks now, and they were bound to start pooling in your own eyes any second.

“None of that is your fault,” you emphasized your words by squeezing his shoulders. “Ok? No one could have predicted what that psycho was gonna do, not you, not me, not Yoongi, nobody.”

“For fuck’s sake, he almost kidnapped you-”

“But he didn’t and I’m here.” You brushed his cheek to wipe some of the tears away and he choked back a sob. “I’m here, with you, and that’s what matters.”

“I could have lost you,” he said it just above a whisper as you moved to brush the tears away from his other cheek.

You blinked back your own tears. “You didn’t lose me.”

“But I could have. We have no idea what the fuck he’s capable of and just- every time I think about what might have happened if no one got to you in time, I start to lose my mind.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and reached up on your tip-toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, heart lurching when he actually kissed you back and his hands found purchase on your waist as they usually did.

“You didn’t lose me. You have me. All of me. I’m right here,” you kissed him once more. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Jungkook let out a sob as he pulled you closer, nearly crushing you with his embrace. You ran your hand through his hair to try and soothe him when he leaned his forehead on your shoulder.

“I was so fucking scared,” he said against your skin. “So terrified. I love you so much,” a tender kiss was placed on the side of your neck now, and you could feel his lips still trembling.

“I love you,” your response prompted another small sob from him, “I love you more than anyone or anything else in this world and I’ll show you that everyday for the rest of my life, as long as you let me.”

“Baby-” Jungkook’s voice cracked with so much raw emotion and you couldn’t help yourself anymore. You were determined to show him your conviction behind your statement, so with your hand still buried in his hair, you pulled him down to your level once more as you crashed your lips together.

You’d never felt anything quite like the emotions that coursed through you every single time you kissed Jungkook. It didn’t matter if it was the cute good morning kisses upon waking up, the silly, laughter-filled ones that happened in the midst of playing around, or the intense ones bursting with passion that always led to something more. Each one was different and better than the last, and it was like a language between you both filled with unspoken words that demonstrated exactly what you felt.

This was one of the many ways the two of your expressed your devotion to one another, through an action as simple as kissing yet the feelings it always evoked inside of you were anything but. And even during times like tonight when you’d both endured something extremely emotional, you could still find comfort in each other through these gestures.

When you finally broke apart, you were both panting breathlessly, and Jungkook rested his forehead against yours.

“Sorry, baby,” Jungkook breathed, voice somewhat raspy. His fingers had started gripping your waist harder during the exchange, but you felt them start to loosen.

That was most definitely something you didn’t want, so you placed your hands on the sides of his face and looked him in the eyes.

“Koo,” you spoke softly, cautiously, as if you were testing the waters. “Can I give you all of me?”

His eyes sparkled with the realization of what you were implying, and for a moment you wondered if he would reject you. And if he did, that would be completely fine with you because his comfort mattered most of all to you right now, as it always did. Tonight had been a lot to deal with and you weren’t sure what mindset he would be in about this sort of thing-

That thought remained unfinished in your mind as Jungkook captured your lips again and all other rational thought went out the window. All you could focus on now was how Jungkook’s body felt melded up against yours, how his mouth was exploring yours like he’d done so many times before, how his fingers dug into your skin like he was afraid to let you go.

You jumped up and Jungkook wrapped your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss while he turned you around so that your back was against the wall. You heard a low groan come from him as you intensified the kiss before he pulled away.

“Angel, are you sure about this?” He was holding you up with help from the wall, hands placed on your thighs just underneath your ass. Your hand was playing with the hair at the nape of his neck since you knew how much he loved that. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you-”

“Koo, I’m fine. I feel fine and I’m not in pain. I promise. I want this. I want you,” you gave him another searing kiss that you felt yourself melting into. “But only if you want it too.”

Jungkook’s next kiss knocked the breath out of you and he swallowed the surprised whimper you let out. “Of course, baby. I always want you.”

His words never failed to make you feel warm all over, with love and adoration as well as arousal. Right now, you were feeling all of these things as he situated your legs around his waist in a more comfortable position.

“Do you want to do this here,” he panted as his eyes met yours again. You could tell he was getting worked up just having you like this here against the wall, so you wasted no time answering him.

“Yes Koo, please,” you urged him to continue. “Wanna feel you close. Don’t wanna wait.”

“Fuck, I mean, I could take us upstairs-” his words ended with a grunt as you drew him closer by wrapping your legs tighter around him, making him grind against you. His head dipped down to rest against your shoulder as he let out shallow breaths, his fingers threatening to make indentations in your skin.

In a somewhat frenzied manner, Jungkook put you back down on your feet so the both of you could remove your clothes, too impatient to take everything off and only getting rid of what was necessary. When both of your lower halves were bare, he secured you around his waist once more, his length rapidly hardening against your now naked thigh.

You reached in between the two of you to wrap your hand around him, and the feeling was enough to have him inhaling sharply before he kissed you with a newfound urgency. You could tell by the way he was moaning against your mouth that your teasing caresses were working and within no time he was ready. You let out a stuttered moan when Jungkook’s long fingers disappeared inside of you so he could make sure you were stretched enough.

When he deemed you prepped enough – and when you started rocking against his fingers with impatient whimpers – he withdrew so he could line himself up with you. Your already soaked folds were threatening to pull him in, and it was almost too much for him to handle in his heightened emotional state.

He pushed in slowly, inch by inch, as he always did. The stretch made you lean your head back against the wall, his soft curses only spurring you on even more. On other nights you might would try to coax him to be a little rougher because you knew you could take it, but tonight you weren’t in a rush for anything, and neither was he. Tonight was about you two being together as one, relishing the way you shared this connection with each other and conveying it through this intimate act.

Both of you sighed in pleasure when Jungkook bottomed out, finally experiencing that complete closeness the two of you craved more than anything else right now. His hands gripped your ass firmly to start moving you up and down his length in slow, steady strokes. He didn’t want to take things fast or go hard tonight – he just wanted to enjoy this feeling, having you so close and yet still wanting to pull you impossibly closer.

The feeling of your warmth around him mixed with the tousling of your hands in his hair was driving him crazy. Every touch from you, no matter how small, always ignited something within him that he couldn’t explain. He was so unapologetically, wholeheartedly in love with you.

And he’d just come so close to losing you.

Pain twisted his heart as he stared at you, watching your face scrunch up in the most beautiful way. Your head was tilted back with your eyes crinkled shut while his name was falling from your lips in hushed whispers. Each thrust was pushing you further up the wall before he would bring you back down again, and your arms wound themselves around his neck to help anchor yourself further.

You looked ethereal, and Jungkook was trying so hard to focus on you and not the negative thoughts that were once again settling uncomfortably in his mind. His body was fighting itself on whether he should succumb to the pleasure he was feeling or if he should submit to the dark cloud blanketing his mind.

His change in demeanor didn’t go unnoticed by you.

Jungkook continued to move inside of you, keeping a consistent pace, but something wasn’t right. He was looking at you, but he wasn’t looking at you. He had a pained expression on his face, and that’s what kicked your own worry into gear.

“Koo, baby, hey what’s wrong?” You held his face in both of your hands and watched as he crumbled underneath your touch. He had slid his hands up to rest against your back now in an attempt to embrace you further, hands trapped in between you and the wall.

You almost started panicking when you saw the tears start to brim in his eyes again.

“I just-” he choked on a cry and your heart wrenched at the sound, “I can’t stop thinking about it.” He was still moving but his pace had slowed down to a near stop.

“Thinking about what?” You weren’t sure you wanted to know but you needed him to talk to you.

“Thinking about losing you, I can’t-”

His hands reached up higher to grasp onto your shirt you were still wearing, clenching the fabric in his fists as he dragged it down. You could feel the collar of the front of your shirt tightening around you while he hid his head in the crook of your neck and started to shake. You wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could and ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe him.

“Please stay,” he whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. “Please stay with me.”

“Koo-”

“I love you so much, I don��t want to lose you,” more sobs wracked through his body. He had otherwise stilled inside of you but made no effort to move away. “I can’t lose you, I-”

“Baby, look at me.”

Jungkook slowly brought his head up to face you, the sight making you want to break down yourself. He looked so defeated, so broken, and his eyes were shining with tears he didn’t bother hiding anymore.

You cradled his face in your hands, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones before they travelled to trace along the curves of his jawline.

You placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, listening as he tried to control his erratic breathing. “I won’t leave you.”

A soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll never leave you.”

You brushed his hair back from his face, and his eyes captivated you as they swirled with so much intense emotion.

“I promised you forever, and I intend to keep it. Nothing, and no one, is going to keep me from you. I love you too much to let that happen,” you granted him a sweet smile and brushed your thumb across his lower lip that had started to quiver. He sniffled as you continued.

“Do you remember our wedding vows?”

Jungkook swallowed as he nodded, seeming a little calmer now.

Your smile widened, and your own set of fresh tears had gathered in the corners of your eyes, ready to spill. “Remember how I told I would give you all of me? That I would give you the best of me?”

He nodded again, and your heart soared at the tiny smile he presented you with.

“I promised you those things. So, no matter what happens, I’ll never leave you. And with everything life throws as us from here on out, we’ll make it through together.”

His smile was widening into the familiar, bunny-like grin you knew and loved dearly. Your Jungkook was coming back to you, and it was almost like you could see the dark fog that had surrounded him evaporating before your very eyes.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook.” You leaned up to tenderly press your lips to his once more, smiling into the kiss as he let out a content sigh. “You’re my person. My forever. Please always remember that.”

You had swept a long lock of hair back from his face as you finished your words, and while you were distracted with that, Jungkook stared at you like you hung the moon and all the stars.

Your declarations of love stirred something inside of him and it dawned on him then that he was still inside of you. This was made more evident when you shifted in his embrace, probably to make yourself more comfortable since you were still against the wall, but it caused your walls to clench around him.

He closed his eyes and groaned, the sound causing arousal to radiate throughout your body. The two of you clearly must have forgotten the position you were in but that was no longer the case when you felt him twitch inside of you.

“Fuck,” he moaned at the sight of you when he opened his eyes again, his hands letting go of your shirt in favor of settling on your waist. Your cheeks were still flushed, with drying tear stains running down them. You were panting softly and Jungkook’s heart felt like it might burst with all the love he had for you.

“I love you,” he declared while he brushed his nose with yours. “And I honestly cannot believe I forgot I was fucking you, like how does that even happen.”

You giggled, kissing the tip of his nose before you drew back to rest contentedly against the wall. “I’m not sure, but do you perhaps want to finish what we started?”

You moved your hips as best you could at your current angle, and it pushed his cock further inside you, making you both moan at the action. He captured one of your hands in his and brought it up to place a kiss on your knuckles.

“Will you still let me give you all of me,” you reiterated your phrase from earlier in the night before all of this started. Jungkook’s eyes had darkened now with lust and he gave you a sly smile.

“Always, baby,” was his response. “Question now though,” he leaned down to let his lips ghost along your neck, making you shiver, “is can you take all of me?”

You tugged on his hair for him to look up at you, making him hiss in the process. You gave him your best challenging stare, and hoped it was convincing.

“Always,” you copied him, “I can easily take anything you give me.”

Jungkook arched an eyebrow and you felt his length twitch at your words. “Is that so?

You barely had time to nod before he was pinning your hand that he was holding on the wall beside your head, his other one gripping your waist hard enough now you knew it would leave a mark.

He pulled out almost all the way before he thrusted back into you hard, making you whine embarrassingly loud. He chuckled dark and low then, squeezing your hand as he intertwined your fingers.

“Too much for you, angel?” Jungkook knew he couldn’t keep this up forever and that he’d eventually crack himself, but he never missed an opportunity to tease you like this. “Thought you said you could take everything I give you.”

You nodded vigorously, not an easy feat with your head leaning against the wall. “I can, I can take it,” you breathed out, clenching around him to try and persuade him to move again. He stuttered out a low moan, determined to not lose his composure just yet.

“Yeah? You sure? Does that mean you want more?” He was shallowly moving inside of you at a torturously slow pace, the drag of his cock against your walls pulling a loud noise of desperation from your throat.

“Please,” you begged, not even caring how desperate you sounded. You just wanted to feel him, all of him, and your core throbbed at the thought of him finally relenting and fucking you how you wanted. “Please give it to me. Please give me more.”

“Fuck, baby, I love hearing you beg for me,” Jungkook moaned, readjusting his grip on your hip. “Gonna give you exactly what you want.”

He hungrily kissed you for a few moments, sinking further into you before he pulled back, panting as he placed his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“Angel?” His voice was low and just the tone alone made you clench.

“Y-yes?”

He opened his eyes and smiled. “You might wanna hold on tight.”

You just had enough time to wrap your unoccupied arm around his back before he started pounding into you like his life depended on it. He slammed into you repeatedly, making you scream out his name over and over again whenever he’d hit that bundle of nerves inside of you. You gripped his shirt to have something to ground yourself with, and your eyes rolled back as he increased his pace.

Jungkook was grunting into your skin, teeth grazing against your neck. “You feel so fucking good, always so tight and perfect for me, my perfect angel.” He squeezed your hand hard enough that his knuckles were taut, but it didn’t hurt you. If anything, it turned you on more because he was finally letting go, caring more about just being in the moment with you than potentially hurting you.

And you knew he still did care about that, he always would; he was Jungkook, after all. But time and time again you had pleaded with him to stop handling you like you would break under the slightest amount of pressure. This was the first time he did without hesitation or working himself up to it.

And you fucking loved it.

In fact, it was overwhelming enough to the point where you knew you weren’t going to last long at all with the way he was drilling into you. All the emotions the two of you had endured tonight mixed with the passionate entanglement you found yourself wrapped up in now, it was no surprise that you were hurtling toward your undoing at a very fast pace.

“Koo, baby, oh my God-” you finally found your voice again, running your nails down his back, hard enough that if he hadn’t been still wearing his shirt, you’re sure it would have left scratch marks.

“Fuck, angel, can feel you around me, always so good for me,” his tongue darted out past his lips before he captured your bottom one between his teeth and tugged on it gently. “Always my good girl.”

His words made you spasm around him, and he moaned loudly at the feeling, eyes fluttering shut. His damp hair was falling into his face so you brushed it back, gasping at the sight of him.

You’d seen Jungkook like this many times before, but this time? This time was different.

A few curls were still framing his face but he had his head tilted back and his lips parted as the most amazing sounds escaped from them. His brows were furrowed and he looked almost pained, but in a completely different way than he had earlier that night.

Your heart ached at the memory, but you didn’t have long to think about it before he pulled you more flush against his chest, now opting to grab your ass with both hands so he could move you up and down his cock with his strength alone.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, “I love you so much, angel, just wanna stay with you like this forever.” He was speeding up again and with the new angle, your body felt like it was on fire. You couldn’t even make a noise as the stimulation kept hitting you in wave after wave.

“You said earlier,” Jungkook continued, a little breathless now but never letting up on his powerful thrusts, “that I was – fuck – that I was your person.”

You nodded, still not really able to say anything or make any sound because your orgasm was approaching fast and you didn’t want it to happen so soon. Not until you knew he was there with you.

“Did you mean it,” he asked, hooded eyes trying to search yours. You kissed him with all the strength you could muster, swallowing down his moans as your walls clenched around him.

“Of course I did. I meant everything I said earlier.” A high-pitched moan tore itself from your throat when his hips snapped into you harder at your words.

“Fuck, it always does something to me when you say things like that,” he was losing his composure now, you could tell it by the way he sounded.

His admission made you chuckle fondly. “You know, you said something similar the first time we were together.”

Jungkook opened his eyes to stare at you and grinned at the memory. “Yeah, I did. Meant it then and I mean it now too.”

“I’m glad I still have that kind of effect on you,” you responded, breaking off to moan loudly at a harsher thrust. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened, and he increased his pace, finally pulling you over the edge.

“You do, holy shit, you really do. I hope I can say the same- fuck,” Jungkook knew you were close with the way your walls kept spasming around him every few seconds. “Gonna cum for me, baby?”

You nodded and whined, holding onto his shirt for dear life while he rocked you through the first stages of your euphoric bliss. He was panting right by your ear now, the sounds making your eyes roll back.

“Go on, cum for me then. Fucking love when you cum all over my cock,” Jungkook’s filthy words had you moaning out his name. “My beautiful angel,” he continued, pulling down the collar of your shirt slightly so he could place a kiss on your collarbone. “Always so pretty for me.”

“Fuck, I’m close, Koo, want you there with me,” you opened your eyes in time to see him pulling his lip between his teeth.

“I’m right there, baby, let go for me,” he reached in between the two of you and barely brushed your clit before your sudden orgasm made you clench so hard around him that he had to throw his head back and let out a guttural moan.

“Angel, fuuuuck, I’m right there, I’m-” you crashed your lips against his and swallowed down every loud noise he made, feeling his lips tremble against yours as his hips stuttered when he filled you up with his release.

He broke apart from you with a gasp, leaning his head back and letting out a strained “holy fuck” before he looked at you again. He slowed down now, thrusting a few more times before he stilled completely, breathing hard.

He moved you away from the wall, and you thought he might put you down but instead he tightened your legs more securely around him and walked the two of you over to the nearest bathroom to shower, his lips never leaving yours the whole way there.

Thank fuck Jungkook had such great muscle memory and knew where he was going because you definitely couldn’t have pulled that off.

He stayed inside you until he was able to put you in the shower, helping you discard the rest of your clothes before he did the same and joined you. It was your usual ritual and preferred form of aftercare since the water from the shower soothed any sore muscles and it helped you get clean in the process. Not to mention it was another way for you to be close to Jungkook, him only reiterating that truth now and he pulled your back against his chest so he could massage shampoo into your hair.

“Love you,” he whispered softly, placing a kiss on your temple since you leaned your head back at the feeling of his touch. He treated you so delicately now, the complete opposite of how he was just fucking you up against the wall. You loved moments like this just as much, always receptive to everything Jungkook did, every touch that flittered across your skin.

“I love you,” was your response as you turned around to wrap your arms around his neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss. He smiled into it, his fingertips brushing against the skin right above your waist.

After your shower, Jungkook carried you upstairs, ignoring your attempts at getting him to put you down because as you told him repeatedly your legs worked just fine and you could walk by yourself. His response?

“Don’t care, still wanna carry you.”

All you could do then was huff, pulling a laugh from the man you loved so much, the sound always beautiful and able to make your heart skip a beat.

When you were both snuggled into bed, you found it hard to sleep. There were still things you two needed to discuss, but you didn’t have the energy – and not really the want – right now to bring them up.

However, Jungkook did.

“Hey,” he was running his hand through your hair as you were laying your head on his shoulder. You hummed in response.

“I’m sorry,” he started, and before you could interrupt he quickly went on. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you, but I’m also sorry about how I acted earlier.”

“Koo, it’s fine-”

“Please don’t,” his eyes were pleading and you let him continue.

“It’s not fine, it’s- I get in my head sometimes and it can be hard to come back from that. You’re always able to bring me back, but tonight…fuck, it was bad.” There was a frown on his face now and you tried to make it disappear by placing a kiss on his cheek.

“I kept thinking about how maybe I’m not the best for you-”

You couldn’t help interrupting this time. “Jungkook, you are the best for me.”

“We don’t know that though-”

“I don’t have to, because I know in my heart that you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure we have the best life together, the same as I’ll do for you.” You brushed a curl out of his face before you continued, “Only for you.”

He cracked a smile. “That’s my line.”

You shrugged, giggling when Jungkook began trying to poke your sides. “Regardless though, I don’t want you feeling that way. You’re enough, Jungkook, you’re more than enough.”

His smile widened. “Really?”

“Really.” You thought about it for a second. “What can I do to convince you?”

He raised an eyebrow, eyes full of mischief. “Well, I can think of a way…” he said in a suggestive tone, making you roll your eyes before you turned away from him. His laughter fell on your ears and you couldn’t help the smile that broke out on your face.

“Hey, c’mon, you know I’m just kidding,” he turned you to face him again, running his hand up and down your side now.

“No you’re not,” you snorted.

He pretended to think about it for a moment. “Ok, you’re right- but I know you’re too tired so I’m half kidding? Sorta?”

It was your turn to laugh then, huddling closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his throat.

His hands found their way into your hair again, and he continued to run them through the strands long enough that you almost fell asleep until he spoke up again.

“We need to do something about him, though.”

The way he said ‘him’ let you know exactly who he was talking about.

You nodded, sliding your head up to lay in the crook of his neck. “We will. But that’s a problem for another day. Right now,” you yawned, “we need sleep.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll stay up a little bit to make sure you’re ok. Jin said it was a good idea for tonight, anyway.”

You were already nuzzling deeper into his embrace, barely registering his words. “Mm-hmm,” came your sluggish response. “Goodnight, Koo.”

“Night, baby,” was his last response you heard before slumber took over, the feeling of his strong arms around you more comforting than anything else you’d ever known.

Jungkook stayed awake for a few hours, listening to your soft snoring and observing you as you slept peacefully. There was a gentle ache tugging at his heart as he remembered everything that you’d been through that night, but when you unconsciously snuggled closer, he felt the ache dissipate.

He made a promise to himself that whatever happened in the future, he would be there for you. He would keep you as safe as he could, and love you with everything he had.

After all, you were his person, just as he was yours, and he hoped that’s how it would stay.

#bts #bts smut #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #ofy drabble

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raysofcrosby · 3 years

Text

WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU – m. tkachuk

epilogue: ALWAYS BEEN YOU

warning(s): some language, mentions of sex, mentions of pregnancy, *multiple time skips, aka you see events from 2024 and also 2025 in this chapter!*

summary: caroline and matt have finally found themselves on the same page regarding their relationship and with that stressor behind, they're free to spend time with each other and their families, while trying to work around their situation once the summer ends and their separate day to day lives come back in full swing. six months after the conference championship, caroline had a sudden realization that changes everything and come the following fall, she and ethan find themselves adjusting to a big change, but one that's worth leaving everything behind for.

word count: 21, 293

an: and this marks the end of the main story of wltay! there will be numerous bonus chapters, especially some for events mentioned in this chapter that weren't in further detail, so don't panic! the first bonus chapter will be an au of ch 7 and then the rest of the bonus chapters will be regarding the lives of caroline, matt and ethan down the road! thank you to everyone who's read this story, it really means a lot and i love you for even taking the time to read. please enjoy!

⇠ previous part • playlist • series masterlist • join the series taglist

June 15th-16th, 2024

“Ethan, get over here!”

“Nuh-uh, no way!” Ethan replied, standing beneath a tree with Brady by his side, feet away from where the rest of their families were standing with the lake in the background.

“Brady, shove my kid over here, will you?” Matt yelled, pointing at Ethan.

“Nope, we’re not coming anywhere near that thing!” Brady replied, pointing at the small, round table that their families were surrounded by, with none other than the most coveted prize in the NHL resting on top of it. “Sorry, but you’re taking the picture without us.”

“That doesn’t even–” Matt huffed before turning to Caroline with a pleading look. “Can you please get him before I take them out on the boat and leave them stranded in the lake?”

Caroline nodded, moving from her spot beside him and walking over to the shady tree where Brady and Ethan were standing. “Alright, what’s going on here?” She sighed, crossing her arms as she stood in front of them. “Why won’t you two get into the picture?”

“I can’t go near it, Momma! If I do, I won’t win it one day.” Ethan whined, eyes drifting back over to the cup. “So BeeBee and I are gonna stand right here until you guys are done.”

“Who told you that if you go near it you won’t win the Stanley Cup?”

“It’s common knowledge, Line!” Brady protested, crossing his arms. “If you touch it before you earn it, you’ll never win it. And I’m not taking any chances.”

“Me either,” Ethan nodded in agreement, his eyes taking another quick glimpse at the coveted cup just a ways away.

“I’m sure that’s not totally true,” she replied, letting her arms fall to her side. “There’s got to be some players out there who touched the cup as a kid or something and won it as an adult.”

“Oh yeah? Name one!” Ethan replied, crossing his arms and copying Brady.

“Hey, why are we standing beneath the tree?” Rob asked, walking over with a beer in his hand. “Aren’t we supposed to be taking Matt’s big family Stanley Cup picture?”

“Perfect, just the person I needed,” Caroline smiled, looking at Rob. “You won a Stanley Cup, tell Ethan that if he goes and takes a picture with it, that doesn’t mean he won’t ever win it.”

“Are you kidding?” Rob laughed, shaking his head as he pointed at Brady. “He and Matt wouldn’t even stand in the same room as the cup when I had it for the day.”

“See!” Ethan whined again, pointing off at Matt. “If Dad didn’t take a picture with Rob’s Stanley Cup, why do I have to take one with his? He’s trying to ruin my chances.”

“You’re being dramatic, Ethan,” Caroline sighed, looking at Rob. “You’re telling me that not a single person has touched or taken a picture with the Stanley Cup before and then won it later on?”

“Oh yeah,” Rob nodded, taking a long sip of his beer. “I know of two people actually. Oshie and Shattenkirk. I’m pretty sure there are pictures of them as kids floating around on the internet somewhere with the cup. Shattenkirk even posted it after he won the cup.”

“Thank you,” she replied, turning back to Ethan and Brady. “See? Your chances aren’t ruined now please get in the picture with your Dad. It would really mean a lot to him, plus it's Father’s Day so it’d mean even more.”

Ethan looked back at the cup, the desire to stand near it was written all over his face before he looked back at her sighing as he uncrossed his arms. “Okay, I’ll get in the picture.”

“What?!” Brady gasped, looking down at Ethan. “Dude, we made a pact! You can’t go back on a pact just because your Mommy says you have to!”

“Braeden Tkachuk!” Keith’s voice bellowed, Brady’s eyes widening in response. “Get over here now. If you don’t want to stand next to the cup, stand away from it, but you’re getting in your brother’s picture. He’d do it for you if you won the cup.”

“That’s debatable!” Matt chimed in, holding up his hand.

“Matthew!” Chantal said, giving him a look before looking over at them. “Come on you four, time for the picture before we say goodbye to the cup later.”

“At least my Mom didn’t use my whole first name,” Ethan teased, smiling at Brady as they started to walk towards where everyone was grouped up.

“Your whole first name is literally Ethan, dude,” Brady replied, nudging Ethan ahead of him by the back of his head.

“But she still didn’t use my whole name. That means you got in trouble, not me,” Ethan replied, turning around and walking backward. “I’m too cute to get in trouble.”

“Keep talking and we’ll see who ends up thrown in the lake,” Brady replied, taking a step towards Ethan to get him and acting like he was going to grab him.

Ethan spun around and ran the rest of the way towards Matt and everyone else, never looking back. “DAD HELP, BEEBEE SAID HE'S GONNA THROW ME IN THE LAKE!”

“Nobody likes a snitch!” Brady said, sticking his tongue out at Ethan as he walked by, staying as far away from the cup as he could before settling besides Emma, who was standing at the end of the table that was furthest away from the cup.

“Brady, shut up and take the picture. You’ve already delayed it enough,” Matt replied, standing in the middle of the table and directly behind the cup as Caroline settled in on his right, wrapping an arm around her waist as Ethan stood in front of them both, his eyes never leaving the big shiny cup.

The last three weeks since that final game of the Western Conference Championship game have been one big whirlwind. With the school year wrapping up, Matt going back to Calgary with the Flames to start preparing for the Stanley Cup Finals, and both Matt and Caroline in a sort of limbo with each other regarding their feelings– it was kind of a lot for them to manage, but they somehow did it anyway. It was only a few days after the Flames championship win that the Islanders won the Eastern Conference and would be playing for the Stanley Cup as well.

As promised, once the school year ended– Caroline and Ethan both were joining along with the Tkachuk clan to both Calgary and New York to watch Matt and the Flames play. That first game of the Stanley Cup Finals was in Calgary, and this time, instead of staying in a hotel for the four days and three nights that they were there. And after dinner, when they went back to the apartment with Matt, they were each given an all too familiar jacket that Caroline had recognized as ones she saw WAGS and the kids wearing the last time they were at a game in Calgary– only this time, they had Matt’s 19 in big red numbered patches, his last name across the back and all little tiny details about Calgary on the front of the jacket.

Matt had reached out to Meredith, Johnny’s wife, who apparently made the jackets this year and had asked if there was any way he could get two more, the moment he dropped them off at the airport. He paid extra to get them there faster and according to him, they were sitting in his locker that first practice back after winning the conference. Ethan was excited about wearing it, asking if he could still wear his jersey too, to which Matt told him yes. While Caroline was still a little wary of wearing it, for while she had Matt had pretty much agreed that somewhere down the line they would be in a relationship– it was the ‘somewhere down the line’ that stressed her out the most and was making her feel as if she didn’t quite deserve the wives and girlfriends jacket, considering well...she wasn’t one. But Matt had shut her down and told her not to think too much into it and to just enjoy the jacket because either way...the title was hers.

Caroline and Ethan stayed with Matt at his apartment for those four days and three nights they were in Calgary, Matt and Caroline sharing his room while Ethan took the guest room, though on the first night he was adamant on staying with them in Matt’s room. The rest of their stay there, by the time they got back to Matt’s apartment, he was either fast asleep or way too tired to even fight about being put to bed in the guest bedroom. Matt and Caroline weren’t doing anything physical by any means, there were no crossing lines within these last three weeks– but once Matt came home from Calgary with a Stanley Cup win four days earlier, it wasn’t his parents’ house that he settled into...it was Caroline’s.

And perhaps, the small action blurring that simple, drawn-out line...was Caroline greeting Matt with a kiss down on the ice once he had won the Stanley Cup. Way too overcome with happiness and tears after witnessing him accomplish his childhood dream– it just happened.

From that moment on, there were plenty of close moments of holding hands, small kisses, a simple arm around the waist or over the shoulder. Matt was pretty much living in her house down the block from his parents. Even on his day with the cup, when cameras showed up at his parent's house, he walked in with Caroline and Ethan in tow. They tagged along as he took the cup to Chaminade, allowing the community to come see the coveted cup and even take a picture with him if they wanted. All four of Caroline’s hockey boys came to congratulate Matt and of course, see the Stanley Cup.

As the day drew to a close, they ended up down at the Tkachuk’s lake house, where it would be just the family spending time together and with the cup. For most of the day, the fact that it was Father’s Day tomorrow had been on the back burner, but it was something that Ethan had always reminded Caroline of because he had worked extra hard on his gift for Matt– especially now that he knew who the Father’s Day gifts were going to. With the school year done, the season at an end and everyone was able to relax...they would spend the rest of their week out at the lake house, soaking up each other's presence and spending much precious time together.

Gone were the days that Taryn and Caroline shared a room while Matt, Brady, and Andrew shared one– both parents getting their own bedrooms as well– because now, it was a whole different situation. With it being Ethan’s first time at the lake house, he wanted the full experience...which meant he was adamant on sleeping down in the basement. So, Brady and Emma got a room, Andrew slept on the couch in the living room, while Taryn and Cameron– who were now officially dating– had another room, and Matt, Caroline, and Ethan would all sleep down in the basement on either the pullout or the oversized round swivel chair...to which Ethan already laid claim to.

In the few hours they had left with the cup, Caroline watched as the media that Matt had allowed to tag along took videos and pictures of Matt and Ethan eating ice cream out of it. Matt had waved her to join and she was hesitant to do so, not wanting to impede on the celebration, but Matt insisted and suddenly Caroline found herself sitting on the other side of Ethan, the three of them enjoying the ice cream out of the cup.

Out of everyone who had the hardest time saying goodbye when the cup was cleaned and taken away, Caroline was surprised to see that it wasn’t Matt, but Ethan instead. Even trying to convince Matt that they should go visit Sam so they could spend time with him and the cup again. Instead, Matt just took his mind off of it by gauging interest in going out onto the lake and watching some fireworks shoot off instead.

And then, Ethan spent the rest of the night asking Matt and Caroline if he could make an Instagram so he could post the pictures with the Stanley Cup– waiting at least ten to fifteen minutes to ask again after every no they gave him.

The next morning, Caroline had the job of waking up early and maneuvering her way out from underneath Matt’s arm so she could get off of the couch and wake Ethan up too, the both of them going upstairs to meet up with Taryn, Brady, Chantal, Andrew, Emma, and her own Mom in the kitchen so they could help prepare for that Father’s Day breakfast. In normal tradition, the two families started out their mornings at their own homes before Keith, Brady, and Matt came together with her Dad and Andrew to go out golfing somewhere. But since they weren’t home and instead, at the lake house this year, the usual golf outing would be replaced by a day on the lake with everyone around. Keith came downstairs first, then her Dad second, each being greeted with Happy Father’s Day wishes.

“Can we go wake him up now?” Ethan sighed, holding up the gift bag containing Matt’s gift. “He can’t sleep forever.”

“Let him sleep, Ethan. He’s still recovering after the series,” she laughed, brushing the long curls off of his forehead. “He’s not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Fine,” Ethan huffed as he leaned against the back of his empty chair at the dining room table, everyone else mingling in between the kitchen and dining room, waiting for Matt to get up before they start breakfast.

“Caroline, Ethan, why don’t you guys go see if Matthew is up,” Keith said, walking out from the kitchen with a mimosa in hand. “He shouldn’t sleep through his first Father’s Day and if he needs a nap, he can take one on the boat.”

Ethan turned towards Caroline with a big smile, holding up the bag. “See? Can we go now pleaseeeeee?”

“Fine, come on,” she replied, nodding her head towards the basement door.

Ethan ran ahead of her to the door as she followed behind, he opened the door and waited for her to be right behind him before he made his way down the stairs, Caroline slowly following behind. When they reached the bottom of the steps, she could see Matt was still lying down on his stomach on the pullout couch, looking as if he hadn’t moved since they left him to go upstairs.

“Go ahead,” she whispered, nudging Ethan towards the couch as she stood back by the chair Ethan had claimed as his makeshift bed.

He walked towards the couch, poking at Matt’s back. “Daddddddddddd,” he whispered, getting no response. “Wake upppp, Papa Walt says you have to.”

Matt mumbled incoherently in response as he shifted, grabbing the pillow Caroline had been using and pulling it beneath his head, exhaling heavily as he stayed asleep.

Ethan huffed, walking around the couch to the empty spot Caroline had occupied and climbed up onto the pullout, sitting back on his heels and nudging Matt’s arm. “Momma says you have to get up or she won’t be friends with you anymore.”

“Ethan!” Caroline whispered, giving him a look.

“Hmph, well tell Momma that she should be willing to look past that since I already forgot all about her almost kicking me last night,” Matt mumbled, keeping his head pressed against the pillow.

“Too bad I’m already looking past you freezing me to death with your feet.” Caroline laughed, leaning against the swivel chair.

Matt pushed himself up onto his hands before rolling himself over and propping himself up against the pillows behind him, rubbing his hands down his face as he yawned to wake up. “Okay, okay, I’m up.”

“Happy Father’s Day!” Ethan smiled, holding out the gift bag to him. “We made you, Grandpa, and Papa Walt breakfast upstairs, but you can open your present now if you want.”

“A present?” Matt asked, looking into the gift bag. “Is it another game puck from your season? I might start a collection of those.”

“Nope, you just have to look inside and find out.” Ethan smiled.

Matt took the tissue paper out of the bag, resting it beside him as he reached in and grabbed the green box of personalized Titleist golf balls and a small blue book titled “things I love about Dad, a book by” with Ethan’s name in the blank spot.

“The golf balls are personalized,” Ethan said, pointing at the green box. “They have your name on them and the St. Louis flag and you should look underneath your name, too.”

Matt laughed, taking the lid off of the box and grabbing one of the golf balls, holding it in his hand. “2024 Stanley Cup Champion,” he smiled, looking up at them. “How did you get that added on so quickly?”

“Andrew’s best friends’ Dad has a side business,” Caroline replied. “He was able to get them done for us pretty fast.”

“And this,” Matt said, holding up the book and turning to Ethan. “I’ll have to go through this later. Because right now, I can hear your stomach growling and if you’re anything like Mom, you’ll start getting hangry in less than a minute. But I can already tell you right now that I love it and I love the golf balls, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Ethan smiled as Matt put the gifts back into the bag and set it on the table beside the pullout before opening his arms as Ethan crawled onto his lap and hugged him. “I love you, Daddy and this is the best first Father’s Day ever.”

“I love you too, E,” Matt replied, kissing the side of his head before tapping him on the back. “Alright, let’s get upstairs so we can drown our pancakes in syrup.”

“How did you know we made pancakes?” Ethan asked, eyes wide. “Who told you?”

“It’s tradition, Ethan,” Caroline laughed as Ethan got off of Matt’s lap and walked over. “MiMi always makes her pancakes for Papa Walt, while Grandma makes her yummy mimosas.”

“Can I have a yummy mimosa this year?” He smiled, looking back and forth between them.

“You can have a sip of mine,” Matt said, getting up off of the couch and stretching. “But only a small sip.”

“Okay, I’ll go get our glass!” Ethan replied, scrambling off of the pullout and rushing by Caroline.

“I said a small sip!” Matt called out, shaking his head. “It’s still my glass!”

“He’s like you,” she laughed, standing up straight as Matt walked over to her. “You used to always take big bites or big sips of my food or drink even though you promised it would only be a small one.”

Matt rolled his eyes, walking over to her. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just go upstairs.”

“Actually,” she said, holding her arm out in front of him to stop him from walking by her. “I have one more gift for you...two, actually.”

“Not saying that I don’t like every gift you give me,” he spoke, letting his eyes slowly drift up her body. “But am I going to really like this gift? Does it involve a certain eight-year-old crashing on the couch with a certain nineteen-year-old?”

“No, it’s not,” she replied, rolling her eyes before bringing a separate gift bag out from behind her back and holding it out. “This is my gift for you for your first official Father’s Day. Well...gifts, but if you don’t like one of them, I can always take it.”

“I’m sure it’s great.” He replied, grabbing the bag from her and opening it, reaching in and grabbing a plastic envelope with a small star map inside. “Whoa, what’s this? It has Ethan’s name on it…”

“It’s a constellation map of what the sky looked like right when he was born.” She replied, pointing down at the bottom. “I don’t know why I picked it, I thought it was something you’d like cause I know how much you liked to layout at the lake house or the beach house and just stare at the stars.”

“I love it,” he said, looking at it for a moment longer before putting it back into the bag. “But you have to promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That we get the same one when we have more kids, that way they all have one.” He smiled, reaching in and grabbing the second present, which was wrapped in brown paper.

“How about we take it one step at a time first,” she laughed, holding the bag for him as he started to unwrap it. “But okay, I promise.”

“Perfect. We can hang them up in the living room of our future home, or even in the main hallway.” He smiled as he unwrapped the medium-sized canvas, placing the wrapping down on the pullout beside him before turning it over and taking in the present.

There was a picture that Chantal had taken on the ice after Matt had won the Stanley Cup. It was of Matt and Ethan from the side, with Ethan standing in front of Matt, wearing the playoff jacket and his Tkachuk jersey underneath. Matt had the Stanley Cup championship shirt draped over his right shoulder and was placing the hat on top of Ethan’s head with his left hand, both of them smiling. The way Ethan looked up at Matt with the adoration in his eyes mirrored just the way she remembered young Matt looking up at his own Dad. And the love she could see, even coming from the partial view of Matt’s eyes– those two things alone, besides the fact that two of her favorite people were in the picture...was enough to make it her favorite.

So, once Chantal showed her the picture, she asked for her to send it to her, and then Caroline sent it to Heather, asking if she could put it onto a canvas so that Matt could have it and maybe even hang it up in his apartment if he wanted to. Heather even made Chantal and Keith a copy, as well as Caroline’s parents.

“Wow,” Matt breathed out softly, shaking his head as he took in the picture. “You know what’s weird about this? There’s a picture my Dad has in his office from his last game where I’m looking at him just like how E’s looking at me...it’s,” he blinked, shaking his head. “It’s surreal.”

“What is? That you’re a great Dad? That your son absolutely idolizes you?” She asked, tilting the canvas down so she could look at it. “Because you are a great Dad, Matt. And Ethan loves and idolizes you so much. And I know sometimes it’s hard to be able to see that from your own point of view, so...I thought you might want to see it for yourself.”

Matt exhaled again, looking at the canvas before putting it down softly onto the couch and hugging her tightly. “I love it, thank you Care.”

“Happy Father’s Day, Matty.” She replied, smiling up at him softly. “I’m sorry it took so long for you to finally have one.”

“No, no, none of that,” he replied, kissing the top of her head before looking down at her. “All that matters is this one and every one after that. No more focusing on the past, okay? Because as far as I’m concerned, I’ve got seven years of Father’s Days gifts tucked away in a bin, so I’ve never missed one. Yeah, this one is my favorite by far, but next year will be my favorite and the one after that and so on and so on.”

“You mean it?” She asked, a small frown on her face. “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better or anything?”

“Absolutely mean it,” he nodded, kissing her forehead again before pulling out of the hug. “The only downside is, I don’t know how I’m going to outdo you for Mother’s Day or how you’re going to outdo yourself for next year.”

Caroline laughed as the two of them bumped into each other and made their way to the bottom of the stairs. “It’s not a competition, Matt. You don’t have to outdo me.”

“It’s the competitiveness in me, what can I say?” He laughed, resting his hand on the small of her back to nudge her up the stairs ahead of him. When they reached the top, he grabbed her hand, stopping her from moving further. “Hey Care?”

“Hm?” She asked, looking back at him.

“I…” he took a deep breath and sighed, smiling softly. “I’m really happy we sort of figured everything out...you know?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, smiling at him. “I know.”

July 12th, 2024

She still couldn’t believe it– Brady was getting married.

The little platinum blonde, bright blue-eyed, curly-headed boy who used to tug on her pigtails during play fights, sneak them extra popsicles on hot summer days, and who used to hit her in the shins during mini-sticks...was now a 24– soon to be 25 in a few short months– year-old man, getting married to his other half, Emma.

Caroline still remembered when Brady brought Emma around that first time he came home for the summer, Matt was still in Calgary and Brady had wrapped up the season and school year in Boston. Caroline was bringing Ethan, who was two, by to see Chantal, Keith, and Taryn– not knowing that Brady had come home yet until he answered the door and let her in– Emma was sitting on the couch talking to Chantal and Caroline could see just how easily she fit in and meshed well with the Tkachuks. She learned from Brady that he and Emma had met on campus and the two became fast friends before it turned into dating a few short weeks later.

And now here they were, seven years later and Caroline was in their wedding party as one of Emma’s bridesmaids, while Matt was Brady’s best man and Ethan, was, of course, the ring bearer. While normally in the procession, the Best Man and Maid of Honor would walk together down the aisle, since Emma’s Maid of Honor was married to one of Brady’s groomsmen, they walked down the aisle together instead, while Matt had walked with Caroline.

Maybe it really was so the Maid of Honor could walk with her husband or maybe it was because Brady and Emma both were trying to nudge Caroline and Matt to take that next step in their relationship like everyone in their family and friends circle had been since last month at the lake house. For once, Ethan wasn’t the number one culprit in trying to get them to date– he was just happy that Matt was around every day.

But at this event, this beautiful and magical wedding that Caroline felt blessed enough to even be a part of– it was all about Brady and Emma and she loved celebrating them more than anyone else. And sitting at a nearby table to the Sweethearts table, surrounded by the rest of the bridal party and the Bride and Groom’s parents, another table over, Caroline was able to see and feel the immense amount of love in the room.

And she would absolutely be lying if it wasn’t making her sappy and emotional because she loved weddings just as much as she loved Valentine’s Day and also seeing Brady all grown up and dressed in a deep navy blue suit with Emma wearing a beautiful white dress beside him– it just made it all the sweeter.

“You know that they’re getting ready to take off, right?” Matt asked, coming up beside Caroline’s chair and resting his hands against the back of his beside her.

“Mhhm, they handed out the sparklers just a bit ago.” Caroline nodded down at the packaged sparkler in front of her, the packaging giving a time to line up just outside and that someone would be there to light them for them.

“Which means the night is coming to an end…”

“I hope so,” she laughed, placing her glass down in front of her and shifting in her chair, tugging up on her deep coral-colored bridesmaid dress and poking out her left foot, still wearing her nude heels. “My feet are starting to kill me and the Moscato only helps so much.”

“We can take care of that later,” Matt said, grabbing onto both hands and tugging her up onto her feet. “But right now, we’re going to dance before the wedding ends.”

“But my feet,” she pouted, letting Matt hold onto her hand as he led them onto the ballroom floor.

“I’ll rub your feet tonight and tomorrow,” he stopped in the middle of the dance floor and wrapped his right arm around her waist, pulling her into him as he held onto her right hand with his left. “But right now, we’re dancing. Capiche?”

“You’re not sleeping at your parents’ place tonight?” She asked, resting her left arm on his right arm and placing her hand on his shoulder.

“Oh no, definitely not. Ethan is, but not me. I’m staying with you in your room.”

“Matthew,” she rolled her eyes as he smiled. “We’re not crossing that line.”

“I know, I know,” he replied, sighing. “The one time when we got back from the lake house was bad enough, but I sure as hell don’t regret it. What’s a Stanley Cup celebration without some Stanley Cup celebration sex, hm?”

Caroline shook her head, resting her forehead against his shoulder so he couldn’t see her blush. It wasn’t intentional– her and Matt sleeping together– it really was sort of an accident...that involved being way too drunk from brunch with Brady and Emma that first weekend back from the lake house. They all ended up crashing at Brady and Emma’s place, and while Emma attempted to take a shower while Matt and Brady ordered food, Caroline was supposed to be taking a nap in their guest room.

Until Matt came walking in and cuddled up behind her and the soft kiss against her cheek, turned into a kiss on the mouth, then the hands got involved and before they knew it, the tension was high and they were naked, in each other's arms and under the covers being woken up by a slightly less drunk Brady a few minutes later, who came to announce that the pizza was there and that Matt was going to pay to have the sheets and comforter cleaned.

Since then, they haven’t crossed the line. The small touches, lingering hugs, and simple kisses were fine to them. Matt could stay the night and sleep in her bed with her and that was fine too– but sex was a no-go. Even while the being around each other was enough to solidify her feelings, it was the sex that would make her want to skip out on the hard work she was putting in with Moira in working through her issues from the past.

And that was something she was adamant about working on, for everyone’s sakes– but more specifically, her own and her little family’s.

“I’m more than okay with just sleeping beside you for the night, no sex needed.” He whispered, resting his head beside hers. “Just something to get used to once we finally figure everything out, because when we do, I can guarantee you that when I’m home for the summer that I’ll be sleeping over at your place.”

“You haven’t considered getting your own place here yet for the summers?”

Matt shrugged, trying to hide the sheepish smile on his face. “I’ll admit that I’ve been looking at a few places in the neighborhood, but I’m not looking to buy until we get everything settled.”

“And by settled you mean…”

“Definitely you and me in a relationship of course, duh.”

“I thought we were starting over, hm?” She laughed, looking at him.

“I mean, we don’t have to start way over...right? I’m pretty sure we don’t have to take it as slow as you and doucheface were. I’ve stayed over plenty of times, you and Ethan literally stayed at my apartment back in Calgary, I’m moving into a three-bedroom apartment in September so that when you guys do visit, E has his own room, plus we have years of history together. How much do we really need to start over with besides the obvious?” He asked, spinning her out before bringing her back in.

“You live in Calgary nine months out of the year, Matt. So what are we talking about here?” She asked, stopping him from spinning her out again. “Living together for three months here every summer in St. Louis where we’re vacationing some of the time? Or living together twelve months out of the year, both in Calgary and St. Louis?”

Matt paused, looking at her as he rested both hands at the small of her back. “It’s whatever you want to do, Care. You and E made a really solid foundation here and it wouldn’t be the first time a player lives somewhere different than his family for the season. I’ll do whatever’s best for you both.”

“Sounds like you’ve got more than just dating in mind there, Matthew,” she spoke softly, a teasing smile on her face.

“The tradition is that the people who catch the bouquet and the garter get married next, right?” He smiled.

“Does it really count if the toss was fixed?”

“Pft, of course, it does!” He said, dipping her down slowly as he smiled and brought her back up. “Besides, who said it was fixed?”

“I don’t know,” she smiled, the song coming to an end as they stayed on the dance floor. “Maybe it was Taryn shooing everyone else away from us in the circle?”

Matt rolled his eyes as he held her hand and the two of them walked back to their table. “What my sister does is her own thing. But I can promise you I didn’t set it up.” He pulled her chair out, scooting it back in once she sat down before sitting down next to her and turning towards her in his chair. “But back to your original question, yes. I’ve definitely got more than dating in mind.”

Caroline reached for her glass of Moscato and took a sip, savoring the taste before looking at him. “You know...when we were walking down the aisle together, I may or may not have pictured it being you and me on our wedding day.”

“We’re getting married?” He asked, gasping as he grabbed his beer bottle. “An invitation would’ve been nice.”

She was the one who rolled her eyes this time at his teasing tone. “I’m not saying that we are right now, I was just saying it was easy to picture.”

“Do you still have that Pinterest board of your dream wedding you made back in high school?” He asked, a teasing smile on his lips as he brought the bottle to his mouth. “Am I still wearing the gray suit and the purple accessories?”

“Lavender, thank you,” she replied, putting her glass back onto the table. “And I plead the fifth on my wedding board.”

“I have been told that is my best color, by you of course...and my Mom,” he laughed, taking another sip of his beer. “Just answer one more question before you cease the wedding talk until our own, hm?”

She picked her glass back up, preparing herself for whatever it was he was going to ask. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“Did you ever look at that board when you were planning your wedding with doucheface?” His tone was playful still, but Caroline didn’t miss the seriousness behind his playful question.

“Nope,” Caroline replied, shaking her head as she brought the glass up to her lips. “Never glanced at it once. And if we’re being honest...I didn’t get very far in the wedding planning process. I only got as far as ordering a magazine to look at dresses, but that’s it.”

“Good,” Matt nodded, failing to hide the smile as he finished off the rest of his beer before putting it down on the table.

“Momma, I’m tired,” Ethan pouted, walking up and standing in between Matt and Caroline’s chairs, leaning against Matt’s legs.

“You had all that cake after I told you not to, didn’t you?” She asked, looking at him as he nodded. “So now you’re coming down from that sugar high you said you wouldn’t get even though I told you it’d happen, right?’

“Mhhm,” he nodded, still pouting as he pried at Matt’s knees to step between them, leaning further against Matt. “Can we go home now, Daddy?”

“We’ve still got to say bye to BeeBee and Emmy, but after that, we’ll ride home with Papa Walt and Mimi, okay?” Matt asked, picking Ethan up and sitting him on his lap.

“Which speaking of,” Caroline said, nodding around them as everyone was getting up to walk towards the designated spot. “We should probably get our sparklers and go line up.”

“What do you think, E?” Matt asked, getting Ethan to lift his head off of his shoulder. “Can you stay awake a little longer to light up the sparkler? I’ll let you hold mine and yours, that way I can carry you, okay?”

“Okay, I can do that.” Ethan nodded, getting off of Matt’s lap and standing there as Matt stood up, grabbing onto the two sets of sparklers and handing them to him. “Where do we go?”

“Just follow Mom and me, okay?” Matt replied, resting his hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he waited for Caroline to grab her sparkler. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Caroline nodded, adjusting her dress as she stood beside him, draping her purse across her chest and holding onto the sparklers. “What?” She asked, looking up to see Matt smiling at her.

“Nothing, come on,” he replied, shaking his head and placing his hand on the small of her back, walking alongside her to the location they needed to be.

They lined up towards the end of the line, being one of the last people who would see Brady and Emma before they got into their ride to head back home to their apartment before they would wake up early the next morning to head off to the airport and start their honeymoon. Andrew and Nonnie were across the way from them, Keith and Chantal as well, everyone on either side of the line starting to light up their sparklers, using their neighbors as the flame while Brady and Emma stood at the very front of the makeshift tunnel.

Matt carried Ethan on his left hip, turning him towards Caroline as Caroline lit both of the sparklers, using hers before they followed everyone else in holding the sparklers up out in front of them and just above their heads, everyone cheering as Emma and Brady ran by their friends and family, big smiles on their faces and waving as they reached their car. They each stopped by their parents one last time, giving them a hug and a kiss and saying goodbye to their siblings before getting into their car and driving away from the venue and back towards home.

“Can we go home now, Daddy?” Ethan yawned, looking at Matt.

“We can go home now, E.” Matt nodded, pointing ahead of them and he squatted down and put Ethan onto the ground. “There’s Papa Walt and Mimi right there, why don’t you go see if they’re ready to go, okay?”

“M'kay,” Ethan nodded, rubbing his left eye as he walked across the way and over to Keith and Chantal.

“I know I told you earlier when we were walking down the aisle, but you look beautiful tonight,” Matt said, resting his hand on the small of Caroline’s back as he walked them over towards his parents. “If the officiant was still here, I’d have him marry us right now.”

“And you look quite handsome yourself,” she smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning against his arm. “You ready to go home?”

“With you?” He smiled, bending down and kissing her temple before brushing his lips just by her left ear. “Always.”

December 11th, 2024

The last five months flew by in the blink of an eye, especially the summer. It was non-stop spending time with family and friends, enjoying the freedom they had left before training camp and school came around. And like the first week home from Calgary, Matt stayed with Caroline and Ethan at her place the entire summer up until September when he had to leave for training camp.

Matt was there for school shopping– he helped Ethan pick out new clothes and get a new haircut– he let Ethan tag along for training days with Brady at the rink, he was there for Ethan’s first day of third grade– even getting to drop him off and take him into the classroom. He was there and involved in every moment that he could be until they had to drop Matt off at the airport so he could report to training camp.

In the three months since then, Ethan was doing a lot better with Matt being gone than he had originally done the first time he had to experience dropping Matt off at the airport– though he would still have his moments when he would crawl into Caroline’s bed, missing Matt, he’d try to extend his bedtime a little later to catch Matt’s games or he’d try to find a way to keep the facetime calls with Matt longer than normal. But slowly, and it was slowly...he was adjusting to Matt not being right there anymore– they both were.

And even Ethan couldn’t hide the disappointment as their birthday got closer and closer, fully knowing that Matt would already be in Pittsburgh preparing for the game the next night. Wanting nothing more than to be able to spend their birthday together again, Caroline was stuck in finding ways to try and boost his morale because she didn’t want to see him sad on his own birthday– especially since he had a game that same morning. Which is why it’s been the hardest thing she’s had to do– keeping her and Matt’s surprise from him. Because Matt had bought a ticket home to come and surprise Ethan at his hockey game and spend the rest of the afternoon with him before flying back to Pittsburgh to be able to rest up for the night.

The plan was for Matt to uber from the airport and over to the rink, dressed as normal yet incognito as he could be before making his way up into the stands to mix in among their teams' side of the bleachers. And for him, he showed up wearing dark jeans, a Gray young guns team sweatshirt, and a Cardinals baseball cap on his head, the hoodie of his sweatshirt on top of it. He sat behind Caroline and next to Mrs. Hastings, sort of blending in as best as he could.

“How’s he done so far?” He asked, leaning forward towards Caroline. “Sorry I’m late, the plane got delayed in Pittsburgh for mechanical issues and then on the runway here because of ice.”

“He’s been good. He’s scored twice and got an assist,” she replied, leaning back against his knees as they watched another shift change. “How was the flight?”

“Exhausting. I’m ready for a nap, honestly. You think he’d mind taking a birthday nap?” Matt asked, looking down at her.

“Doubt it. He’ll be go, go, go the moment he sees you,” she laughed, tilting her head back and smiling up at him. “Happy birthday by the way. How does it feel to be 27?”

“I could ask you the same. Feel as old as I do?” He pouted, wrapping his arms around her chest.

“Always,” she laughed. “And it’s all because of the nine-year-old on the ice. I think I found a gray hair the other day after trying to get him to understand that he can’t read the same book once he finished it for his reading log just because he didn’t want to start a new book. It says right there on the reading log that once you finish a book, you have to start a new one and he tried to say that it was an error.”

Matt laughed, nodding his head. “Yeah, that sounds like someone I know. Brady used to hate starting new books. Me too, honestly. Why start a new one when I can re-read the same one and know what happens?”

“Well, you might’ve given me a gray hair,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “I’m too young for gray hairs.”

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you look a day over 25.” He smiled, kissing the top of her head before they both turned their attention to the game as Ethan skated down towards the opposing goal and scoring. “Whoo!” Matt cheered, he and Caroline standing up with everyone else and clapping. “Wait– that was his third goal, right?”

“Go, Ethan!” Caroline cheered, cupping her mouth as they watched the celebration move from beside the goal and skate down the bench before getting back in. “Yep, third of the game. He got a hat trick,” she replied, a big smile on her face.

“Is that his first-ever?” Matt asked, eyes wide as he looked away from her and at the ice.

“First ever,” she nodded, looking at him. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head as he sighed and a small smile on his face. “God, that’s so cool. He’s a freaking beast.”

Caroline smiled, bumping back into him. “Proud Dad moment, hm?”

“Hell yeah. Plus his backhand looks great,” Matt said, stepping down and standing beside Caroline. “He’s been practicing?”

“Only every day after school with your dad and every night,” Caroline replied, watching the time tick down before the siren echoed through the arena, signaling the end of the game. “He’s been working on a trickshot too that he wanted to surprise you with come Christmas. I’ve been sworn to secrecy not to tell you what kind of shot it is, but I think he’s pretty close to getting it down.”

“I wish I could be around more to help him work on hockey stuff,” Matt replied, standing up from his seat. “Brady and I loved working with our Dad at home and even when he was tired from the games and the traveling, he always made that time to help us work on whatever we want.”

“You work with him when you can and he loves it all the same, Matt,” she replied, resting her hand on his arm reassuringly as they walked down the bleachers once the teams cleared out to the locker room. “Whether that’s in person or on facetime, he just wants his All-Star Dad’s hockey advice and treasures it more than you think.”

They walked down to the area just outside of the locker rooms, waiting along the walls for the team to come out once they were done changing out of their hockey pads. Caroline sent Matt outside to her car, the plan being he’d be standing there waiting and surprise Ethan when they walked over to the car. They’d have to go from the rink to home so Ethan could take a quick shower before they would leave for Dave and Busters for his birthday party– his team and other friends from school would be in attendance.

“Hi Momma,” Ethan greeted, carrying his hockey bag over his shoulder as some of his teammates followed behind to greet their parents. “Did you see my last goal?”

“I did,” she smiled, ruffling his hair. “All three of your goals were great. Your practice is paying off just like Dad told you, huh?”

“Yeah, did you get it on video?” He asked, their group starting to move down the hallway. “I want to send it to him so he can see it because we worked really hard on my backhands.”

“I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t. But I’m sure you’ll be able to describe it to him just perfectly and he’ll be able to picture it.”

Ethan nodded, as he walked beside her, shoulders straight but a small pout on his face as he struggled to adjust the strap of his bag. “I wish he could’ve seen my game and be here for our birthday. I liked having him around last year.”

Caroline tried to hide her smile as she rested her hand on his right shoulder, letting him lean against her. “I know sweetie, but we’re going up there in six days that Friday before winter break and spend the week up there with him, remember? Catch those two games before we fly home together here and spend some time together with everyone else, then we go back to Calgary for the last week of December.”

“I know,” he sighed, shrugging. “I’m excited for that too because he said I can fly on the plane with them to Seattle and Adam’s going too...but I still wish he was here for our birthday so I can give him his present.”

“We already mailed his present, Ethan.”

“I know, but Papa Walt and Coach Hastings gave me my goal pucks,” he replied, stopping in front of her and turning his back towards the area of their car, digging into his hockey bag and pulling out the three pucks from the game, each with tape around the side of them. “It’s my first hat trick and I wanted to give them to him.” Ethan paused, looking down at the three pucks in his hands as he frowned. “But I guess I can wait until Christmas.”

They had stopped by where Keith and Chantal and her parents had parked, Caroline parking her car about eight cars away purposely so Matt was able to hide by it. She looked up to see Matt peeking his head out from around the back of her car and she nodded, letting him know he could come out and wait before she watched him walk around and lean his left shoulder against the back of her car.

“Well, we’ll see him before you know it, Ethan,” she nodded, looking at her parents and Chantal and Keith. “Time will fly by.”

“Maybe,” he replied, shrugging and stuffing the pucks into his hoodie pockets before picking his bag back up. “We have to go home now though so I can shower. Can I facetime Dad on your phone on our way to Dave and Busters?”

“Sure, come on, the car’s just right there,” she nodded, pointing down in the direction of her car.

Ethan nodded and turned around and took two steps before looking up in the direction they were going and stopping, looking up at Caroline. “There’s someone at the car.”

“Is there?” She asked, looking up and seeing Matt standing there, still with his hat and hood on his head, only this time, wearing sunglasses. “Hm, I wonder who that is.”

“I dunno,” Ethan replied, shrugging as he looked back at the car, just as Matt was standing up straight and taking the hood off of his hat, and then his glasses off. “Nuh-uh…”

“Hey!” Matt called out, cupping his hands over his mouth. “Aren’t you #7 on the Young Guns? Tkachuk, right? Can I get your autograph?”

Caroline looked down to see Ethan standing there, staring ahead at Matt as if he wasn’t believing that he was ahead of him. “I’ll carry your bag, Ethan,” she said, moving her hand beneath the strap on his shoulder as he looked at her with wide, glistening eyes. “Go on, go say hi.”

Ethan moved his arm out from his bag strap and ran as fast as his legs could carry him, over to Matt who had squatted down in preparation. Ethan almost bulldozed Matt over, wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging him, Matt hugging him back and standing up, taking Ethan with him.

“We’ll meet you at the restaurant,” Keith said, waving Caroline away. “You guys go ahead and take it in, okay?”

“Are you guys sure?” She asked, adjusting the strap of Ethan’s hockey bag.

“Of course, honey. We’ll see you three at the restaurant.” Her mom smiled, nodding in the direction of Matt and Ethan.

Caroline waved goodbye before turning around and making her way to her car, where Matt and Ethan were now talking. As she got closer, she could see that Matt was looking down at his own hands, holding something. “Hey you two,” she said, stopping beside the trunk of her car, opening it, and putting Ethan’s bag into it before turning towards Ethan and smiling at him. “Did you like your birthday surprise?”

“I love it,” he replied, turning towards her and hugging her. “Best birthday ever!”

“You said that last year when I got you the signed Nate card,” Matt laughed, ruffling his hair. “But really, you played great today E. I’m proud of you.”

“I gave him my goal pucks too!” Ethan smiled, pointing at the pucks in his hand. “He tried to give them back, but I said they were his birthday present so he can’t give them back.”

“I believe your exact words were ‘no-take backs’” Matt laughed, holding up the three pucks to Caroline. “But I will say, this is definitely the best present I’ve gotten. That and getting to see your sick backhand. Who knows, that might become your signature go-to shot.”

Ethan scrunched his nose, shaking his head. “I don’t know about that, I have to be cooler.”

Matt rolled his eyes, nudging Ethan as he put his pucks into the pocket of his hood before closing the trunk for Caroline. “How about we focus on the basic skills first before we move onto ‘cooler’, hm?”

“I guess I can do that.” Ethan sighed dramatically, looking back at Matt and hugging him again. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, E. But hey, we’ll get to hang out for two weeks soon.” Matt smiled, looking down at Ethan. “I’m sure you’ll be ready for me to go back to Calgary soon enough.”

“Nope, never,” Ethan replied, shaking his head. “I want you to stay here.” He looked over his shoulder at Caroline, putting on his best puppy dog eyes and pout. “Can Daddy live with us please?”

“You know he has to go back to Calgary for the season, Ethan,” Caroline laughed, brushing the hair off of his forehead. “Besides, he already lives with us in the summer.”

“Yeah, but I mean full time,” Ethan replied, looking between them. “You should get traded to the Blues.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Matt laughed, not taking the comment to heart. “What about all the cool Flames gear you have then?”

“I mean yeah...but think about all the cool Blues gear I can get for you and BeeBee!”

“Sorry squirt,” Matt laughed, draping an arm over Ethan’s shoulder and pulling him into his side. “I plan on Captaining the Flames for the rest of my career. But when you’re old enough and I’m retired, maybe the Blues will draft you.”

Ethan’s eyes widened as he looked up at Matt. “You really think I’ll get drafted?!”

“As long as you keep practicing like you have been and put in that hard work and dedication, then teams would be crazy not to.” Matt smiled. “Just give it your all every time you’re on the ice and you’ll see your dreams come true.”

“Cool,” Ethan smiled, zoning out as if he was playing it all in his head.

“All right you two, let’s get home so stinky over here can shower, and then we can go off to Dave and Buster's.” Caroline laughed, walking by them and towards the driver's side door, getting in,

Matt and Ethan both got into the car as she started it, Ethan getting into his seat and all settled before they pulled out of the parking lot, turning out onto the main street and heading towards the neighborhood. Ethan kept going on and on and asking Matt about how the season was going and if there was anything he wanted to do when he came home, followed up with what he had planned for them when he and Caroline came up to Calgary. It was enough conversation to keep the life in the car lively before it turned into birthday presents and Matt telling Ethan that he didn’t need to share his cake with him this year.

“Momma, tell Daddy that he has to share my cake with me,” Ethan huffed, crossing his arms as he sat in his seat with a furrowed glance. “We have the same birthday, we have to share a cake.”

“Matt, share the cake with him,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “You guys shared one last year and if it wasn’t for the fact you coming to visit was a surprise, you already know you guys would be sharing one.”

“All I said was that I wasn’t going to blow out the candles and steal his wish power,” Matt replied, rolling his eyes as well. “Mr. dramatics over here blew it out of proportion. But if he wants me to take it, I will.”

“Wait,” Ethan said, sitting up and leaning his arms between their seats, squinting. “Nevermind, we don’t need to share. I need all the wish power I can get.”

“If you’re wishing for a dog, don’t. You know we have no time to take care of a pet, Ethan,” Caroline replied, turning and looking at him.

“Nuh-uh, no way,” Ethan replied, shaking his head. “This one is so much better.”

Matt shifted in his seat, tilting his head as he squinted his eyes at him. “What is it?”

“I can’t tell you, because then it won’t come true!” Ethan gasped, acting as if Matt had told him he was going to steal his signed Nathan Mackinnon card. “But trust me, it’s a good one. So you can have a piece of cake, but no blowing out the candles...they’re mine.”

“Mhhm, just go ahead and get in the house and get showered. We’re running out of time.” Caroline replied, waving him out of the car as she opened her door. “And please make sure to drop your hockey clothes in the laundry room.”

Ethan rushed out of the backseat and out into the garage, walking up the step and into the house. Matt walked towards the trunk, opening it and grabbing Ethan’s hockey bag before closing it and meeting Caroline up at the step to walk into the house. He stopped, opening Ethan’s bag and grabbing his gear, hanging them up on the makeshift wrack Keith had made for Ethan so they could air out. By the time he was done, Caroline was already sitting down in the living room, relaxing down on the couch with her feet propped up onto the table.

Matt sat down next to her, grabbing her feet and shifting her legs over onto his lap, keeping his hands on top of her legs as he relaxed into the couch. He sighed, leaning his head back against the cushion before looking at her. “You know what he’s wishing for, right?”

“Mhhm,” Caroline nodded, keeping her hands intertwined on her stomach. “It’s totally obvious.”

“He wants us to get married.”

“A sibling.”

They looked at each other and laughed, both relaxing more into the couch as their laughter faded out, leaving them sitting there on the couch in silence.

“Well,” Matt shrugged, a small smile on his face. “At least we’re on the same page.”

“Who? You and me or you and Ethan?” She asked, leaning her head against the back cushion of the couch, looking at him. “Because a baby and a wedding are two very different pages.”

“Are they though?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean...they seem pretty much the same. You know since uh, Emma is pregnant and all. Talk about a honeymoon baby.”

Caroline shoved his shoulder, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “That’s your future niece or nephew you’re talking about.”

“Our future niece or nephew,” he replied, tugging on her legs. “I’m giving you all the time in the world, but you and I both know that this,” he motioned between them, “is ending with a wedding of our own and who knows, maybe even a honeymoon baby too.”

“I’m ready!” Ethan said, running down the hall dressed in jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, his winter jacket in hand and a Calgary Flames beanie on his head. “I just rinsed off because we’re running out of time, but I promise I'll take a real shower tonight.”

“Sounds good to me,” Matt nodded as he and Caroline both sat up and got off of the couch, Ethan never questioning their position on the couch. “Are you ready for me to whoop you in foosball hockey again?”

Ethan glared, resting his hands on his hips. “That was a one-time thing. I’m winning this time.” He looked at Caroline, pouting out his bottom lip. “You’ll be on my team, right Mommy?”

“Oh no, no way,” Matt said, shaking his head and keeping Caroline by him. “You kicked her off of your team last time. Don’t go sucking up now with those puppy dog eyes and cute pout face.”

“But it’s my–”

“It’s my birthday too and if we’re playing that game, it was my birthday first,” Matt replied, looking back at Ethan. “And I was Mom’s foosball partner first.”

“That doesn’t matter, I’m cute and her kid. I automatically win.” Ethan smiled, crossing his arms.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yes huh!”

“Momma–”

“Care–”

Caroline looked at the two of them, trying not to laugh at their argument. “I cannot believe you are arguing with our nine-year-old,” she laughed, shaking her head at Matt, whose smile fell.

“See? I told you she’d pick me,” Ethan replied, a smug look on his face.

“And you,” Caroline replied, nodding at Ethan. “You traded yourself from our own team and said that I stink. Why would I be on your team again?”

Ethan and Matt had matching confused and shocked looks on their faces as they looked at her, unsure of how to reply. Caroline just chuckled to herself and shook her head, walking by them and grabbing her keys off of the kitchen counter before heading towards the garage, Matt and Ethan following behind her. She got into the car, Matt and Ethan getting in as well, the silence heavy with tension as she opened the garage door and started the car.

“...But it’s my birthday, Mommy.” Ethan leaned out of his seat, resting his chin on the back of her seat, his puppy dog eyes and pout at its best. “Can you pretty please be my partner?”

“How about this,” Caroline said, turning in her seat. “You two be partners and I’ll be partners with whoever you choose, Ethan. Birthday boys versus the real foosball hockey champ...me.”

Ethan was silent as if he was contemplating the suggestion before he dramatically sighed and turned towards Matt, shrugging. “Okay, but if he lets you win I’m trading him for you.”

“As if little man,” Matt scoffed, shaking his head. “I never let anyone win. You gotta beat me that hard way.”

“You’ll still help me win tickets though, right?” Ethan asked, looking back at her. “That way we can get a big prize?”

“Of course, sweetie. You can have all of my tickets and Dads–”

“Well–”

“Isn’t that right, Matthew?” She asked, cutting him off and widening her eyes at him, signaling for him to relax.

Matt sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. “I guess I can spare a few tickets, oomph–” He looked at Caroline, who had reached around and shoved his leg, looking at him again. “Fine, you can have all of my tickets.”

“Yay,” Ethan smiled, leaning in and kissing them both on the cheek before sitting back in his seat. “Best birthday ever, thank you.”

“It hasn’t even happened yet,” Matt laughed, turning in his seat.

“Yeah, but you’re here, I got a hat trick and I’m nine,” Ethan replied, buckling himself in before shrugging his shoulders. “Sounds really good to me. Oh, and I get cake.”

“Yeah, well just wait for the present I got you this year,” Matt replied.

“I WANNA KNOW, TELL ME PLEASEEEE,” Ethan whined, trying to lean forward in his seat.

Matt and Caroline laughed as they sat there, Caroline pulling out of the garage and into the driveway, then street before driving away from the house and heading towards the exit of the neighborhood.

“Well, I don’t know how much you were paying attention last year, but just in case you don’t remember, the Flames are playing in the Winter Classic next month against a certain Colorado team in Colorado too,” he smiled. “And guess who gets to go?”

“ME! I mean...US?” Ethan asked, unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping towards the front of the car. “IS IT US? DO I GET TO MEET NATE?”

“We’ll try to catch him, but you’ll definitely get to meet Mitch,” Matt laughed, nodding. “But yes, you’ll fly with us on the plane to Colorado. I had Mom keep it a secret, so that’s why you thought you’d be coming back here New Years Day– when really, you’ll be going to Colorado.”

Ethan wrapped his arms around Matt as best as he can hugging him tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you, this is the best birthday present ever and you can have Mom as your foosball partner.”

“Hey,” Caroline laughed, looking over at him. “What happened to you two fighting over me earlier and my skills? Also, get back in your seat, you’re lucky we’re at a red light.”

“Sorry Momma, this is Nathan Mackinnon we’re talking about,” Ethan replied, sitting back into his seat before getting back up and leaning forward, kissing her cheek, and then sitting back down in his seat. “This is the bestest best birthday ever! Thank you for having Daddy surprise me, I love you too. Now let’s go to Dave and Buster's, we’ve got tickets to win!”

“Hey E, you know what I want for my birthday?” Matt asked, looking back over his shoulder. “I want to know what your birthday wish is. Mom and I have a bet and–”

“Nope, too bad,” Ethan replied, shaking his head as he buckled himself back in just as the car started to move again. “You’ll just have to find out when it comes true. And it will come true, trust me...I’ve got a tummy feeling it will.”

December 24th, 2024

After Matt had gone back to Calgary while Caroline and Ethan had stayed in St. Louis, Caroline felt different. She was still feeling the same about him and their situation– how they weren’t in a relationship, but they were...something. She knew those romantic feelings were there and she was tired of avoiding them or pushing them aside. But at the same time, she felt like she wasn’t allowed to choose him just yet. It had only been nine months since her relationship with Jonathan had ended and about a little over eight since she and Matt talked about how he would wait for her to figure everything out– that all she had to do was tell him she was ready and they’d start their relationship all over again. And she has been trying to figure it all out. She’s been diligent on her sessions with Moira, going from visiting three times a week, to two and just three weeks ago, Moira was letting Caroline know they could even go down to one session a week, but Caroline opted to stay at two– feeling as though she needed to keep up the work and stay accountable. By the time the end of the season rolled around, all three of them– Matt, Caroline, and Ethan– were in therapy, each separately and for their own reasons, though there have been times when they’ve come together for a session or two. Ethan was doing great, the moments when he was grumpy and would snap and try to use Caroline keeping Matt a secret as leverage, were no more. His main focus now was just trying to figure out how to healthily adapt to not having Matt there during the season. Matt was going for similar reasons, just trying to come to terms with how those closest to him hid Ethan from him for so long and working on how to healthily managing his emotions and relationships with those individuals. He was open with them all, letting them know he had his moments when he was angry or would get sad when he thought about everything that he missed– but he was getting better at managing it and not turning those emotions towards them. All three of them were excelling in their personal lives, the therapy they were all seeking was doing good, Caroline knew it, she could see the differences no matter how small. The only thing is that while she felt the emotional difference in herself whenever it came to thinking about her future with Matt. The guilt of her choice from nine years ago wasn’t swallowing her whole. And while she didn’t feel guilt from that choice anytime she ever thought about a future with Matt– those seven days they were with Matt in Calgary was just one guilty feeling after another. Ethan was all sorts of excited to sleep in the bedroom that Matt had set up for him in his new three-bedroom apartment, never once asking if he could come sleep in Matt’s room. She and Matt shared a room, the same as how they did in the summer when Matt lived with them down the block. There were no sexual moments between them that ever went beyond a simple kiss and even those were post-win celebrations. On game days, Ethan went with Matt to morning skate while Caroline, Elizabeth– Adam’s Mom and Brandon’s wife– and the newest Pruitt, an eight-month-old named Mollie, went out for breakfast, the two of them becoming good friends in the short time they were around each other. While Matt and Brandon both took pre-game naps, Caroline and Elizabeth would take Mollie, Adam, and Ethan around Calgary, Elizabeth and Adam being their tour guides. On the days there weren’t games, Matt took the two of them around Calgary himself, showing them his favorite spots around the city, playing in the snow, visiting parks, going Christmas shopping. Matt had even bought Christmas decorations for his apartment so that the three of them could decorate on their third day there– this time getting to experience decorating with them since he was watching them decorate the tree and Caroline’s house back in St. Louis over facetime. They watched Christmas movies together at night, Matt carried Ethan to bed when he fell asleep on the couch. At games, Caroline would ride with Elizabeth, Adam, and Mollie to the game,

hanging out in the family room waiting for the game to start. With each passing day in Calgary, being around Matt’s world and his friends and basically living with Matt– it all became so natural to her, and sometimes, even going back to St. Louis and reminding herself that this wasn’t her life...felt odd. The way her and Matt’s co-parenting, couldn’t even be considered co-parenting in her mind– it was just parenting, the two of them together and doing it with ease...it was natural and like everything that was supposed to happen was happening there and then. Which is exactly how and why she found herself sitting in Moira’s office talking about everything that had happened between her and Matt those seven days in Calgary. How she felt being around him, how easy it was for her to picture being there with him or having their own life together outside of just being friends. It felt like she hadn’t even given Moira a chance to talk, that’s how much Caroline was venting about everything that had happened. And when she did finally stop talking, she half expected Moira to be looking at her like a crazy person, but she wasn’t. Instead, she was just sitting in her chair, hands rested in her lap with an amused expression on her face. “I just,” Caroline took a deep breath and sighed, her legs curled up beneath her body as she sat on the couch in her office. “I know we’re just friends and that’s what we agreed on, but being there with him in Calgary...it felt more than that, even though we’re not and I don’t know what to think about it.” “Well...what’s stopping you from pursuing a relationship with him?” Moira asked, crossing her right leg over her left. “What do you mean?’ “What’s stopping you? You’ve done amazing these last nine months, Caroline.” Moira sat forward, uncrossing her legs and leaning her arms on top of her knees, holding onto her notepad. “The moves you’ve made in forgiving what your younger self did and the ways you’ve amended those issues while also accepting the damages it created have been nothing short of phenomenal. You’ve been working on yourself and you’re more confident in yourself as a Mom and as an individual. Even the session we did with Matthew, the way your communication skills have improved…you’ve grown up Caroline.” Caroline’s eyebrows furrowed as she sat up slightly, holding her arms close to her. “I don’t understand…” “You’re not that 18-year-old girl who chose what she thought was best. And sure, you’re only a year older now than when we started our sessions, but you’re not that same 26-year-old woman who was allowing that choice and mistake to drown her. You’ve grown up in more ways than one.” Moira sat back, raising an eyebrow. “So…what’s stopping you from pursuing a relationship with Matt, which is something that you clearly want…besides yourself?” Caroline blinked a few times, letting Moira’s question sink in as she thought back on the last few months with Matt. Sure, those initial months were plenty of reason to hold back from letting herself be with Matt. There was a lot of self-work she knew she had to do. But just this last week with Matt, she realized that Moira was right, she did feel different. Gone were the late nights she sat up thinking about just how different things could’ve been and letting that guilt eat her alive. She no longer thought back on their younger years and felt like crying at those last months they spent together. She had finally managed to find forgiveness for that scared, 17-year-old girl she used to be and it was more freeing than anything she had ever experienced. “Nothing,” Caroline spoke softly, looking back up at Moira as the realization settled. “Nothing’s stopping me.” Moira smiled, leaning back in her chair as she nodded. “Exactly.”

Her session with Moira was all she could think about from the moment she left the office building. During dinner with the Tkachuks and her family, a fun night at the winter carnival they host at the rink, during the entirety of Twas the Night Before Christmas they watched with everyone together in the Tkachuk’s living room, the cold walk home with Matt and Ethan where Matt had his arm wrapped around her and had her tucked close to his side as Ethan walked ahead of them in tired excitement. It was all she thought about as they made cookies and set them out for Santa together before they both tucked and kissed Ethan goodnight and went back out into the living room.

Even now, as the two of them sipped hot chocolate and wrapped some of Ethan’s gifts that Caroline forgot to wrap, she kept taking small breaks to look at Matt and picturing life together and what Moira had said. How next Christmas and every Christmas after that, this could be them— sitting on the floor and wrapping Christmas presents, though maybe somewhere down the line, they could be wrapping presents for more than just Ethan. Matt was focused on sliding the scissors through the Dr. Suess’s Grinch themed wrapping paper, the tip of his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he finished cutting the piece, laying it down in front of him, and putting the roll to the side, smiling down proudly at his perfect cut and causing herself to even smile.

Caroline put down her own pair of scissors beside her and took a deep breath, exhaling calmly. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Do what?” Matt asked, wrapping and taping the present up.

“Date,” she replied, keeping her gaze on him. “I-I’m ready."

Matt looked up, his eyebrows furrowed as he stopped taping the present, only taking a few moments before it clicked in his mind. “Wait, really? You’re not kidding?”

“Why would I be kidding?” She laughed, shaking her head.

“Shit, I don’t know. I mean...really?” He stared at her, almost as if he was too scared to look away and miss her reply as he put the present and tape down beside him.

"I had some issues with my past self, but she was young and I forgive her." Caroline nodded, sighing as she looked at him. “But if I let you slip through my fingers one more time, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”

Matt looked at her with care and love in his eyes, the hesitance in his acceptance of her choice was obvious. “You’re being 100% serious? You’re not just pushing yourself into this because you think you’re taking too long on figuring everything out and feel guilty for me or anything? You 100%, without a doubt want to pick up our relationship?”

“I think I’ve been ready for a while, but I was just stopping myself from moving forward because part of me, I guess, feels like I don’t deserve to have you in that way just yet.” She spoke, resting her hands in her lap as she shrugged.

“Hell yeah you do,” he replied, nudging Ethan’s half-wrapped present aside and crawling the short distance to her and wasting no time hovering over her, sending Caroline to the floor and kissing her square on the lips before holding himself up.

“Well,” Caroline replied, nudging herself up onto her elbows as she tilted her head to the side. “Maybe we shouldn’t pick up where we left off, you know? I mean, we can...but maybe we should just...start a little fresh.”

“Okay,” Matt nodded, a small smile on his face. “Fresh.” He bent his head down and kissed her, Caroline reaching up with her left hand and cupping the side of his face as she smiled into the kiss. Matt pulled back, pushing himself up onto his knees before standing up and helping her up too. She was barely standing when he bent down and picked her up, carrying her bridal style.

“Matthew!” She gasped softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. “What are you doing?"

“Hey, we’re starting fresh,” he smiled, shrugging. “I figured that means we should also get reacquainted with each other in the bedroom if you catch my drift.”

Caroline laughed, shaking her head as she patted his chest. “We can’t. We need to finish wrapping.”

“Ugh,” Matt groaned, rolling his eyes. “Can’t we just leave them unwrapped and say Santa was busy so he couldn’t wrap them all?”

“Nope, now come on and put me down.” She replied, patting his chest again.

Matt sighed as he put her down, a pout on his face. “Hmph, he’s asleep and yet he’s still cockblocking me.”

“I didn’t say we weren’t going to,” she replied, smiling as she sat back down in front of her present. “As soon as we finish wrapping these gifts, you can unwrap yours.”

His eyes widened as he tossed her the extra roll of tape before plopping down in front of his half-wrapped present, clapping his hands together at her. “Come on, these gifts won’t wrap themselves!”

Last night felt like heaven. Plain and simple.

It was hushed giggles as they walked down the hall and by Ethan’s room, Matt peeking in to double-check that he was asleep before they walked into her room, locking the door behind them and falling onto her bed in more giggles interrupted by passionate, long-awaited kisses and roaming hands that undressed each other in the dark of her room. By no means was it anything like the last time the two of them had found themselves in her bedroom, intertwined with each other multiple times throughout the night. The pure exhaustion of both flying in from Calgary late last night and the busy day that they had today, had taken a big toll on them both– but back then, they didn’t know when the next opportunity would arise to have each other in that way, so eager to experience that rush and feeling of the other in their arms and against their body.

But that was then and this is now...and now, they knew that there was no rush. They had tonight, tomorrow, and every day after that.

They had forever.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” Ethan cheered, jumping on the end of the bed.

Caroline sighed heavily, rolling herself over onto her back as Matt moved his arm from over her. “Ethan, less jumping.” She spoke softly, using her hands to push herself up.

Knowing that Ethan was always the first one to wake up on Christmas morning, Caroline and Matt had gotten dressed again and unlocked the door before falling asleep in each other’s arms. The sight wouldn’t have been a shock to Ethan either considering that the two of them had shared the pullout couch at the lake house and it was a sight Ethan had seen every morning waking up there, as well as every morning throughout the summer whenever he woke up before them and came to wake them up.

“Come on, wake up! It’s Christmas!” He replied, still jumping. “You gotta see what Santa brought!”

Matt reached up and wrapped his right arm around Ethan’s legs, tugging him down onto the bed. “Whoa, calm down skippy. What time is it?”

“Ummm 8?” Ethan replied, pushing himself up onto his hands and looking at Caroline’s alarm clock on her bedside table. “Yeah, 8.”

“Perfect,” Matt nodded, letting go of Ethan’s legs. “We’ll open presents at 10, so go back to sleep.”

“Wait, no,” Ethan pouted, getting out of Matt’s grasp and crawling in the space between them, sitting back on his heels. “We have to go to Grandma and Grandpas this year after we open presents, it’s tradition!”

“Matt, stop teasing him,” Caroline sighed, pushing herself up all the way and tossing off the blanket. “We’re getting up sweetie, don’t worry."

Ethan smiled, sticking his tongue out at Matt as Caroline got out of bed. “Momma, what happened to your neck? Did you fall?”

Caroline’s eyes widened slightly as she reached up to grab the collar of her shirt, tugging it up slightly. “Well–”

“Hey, why don’t you show us what Santa brought you?” Matt replied, cutting her off as he took the blanket off of him and got out of bed.

“Okay, come on hurry up!” Ethan replied, crawling off the bed.

Caroline was barely able to tug her sweatshirt on before Ethan grabbed the one hand she had through the sleeve, holding onto Matt’s hand with his other one and dragging them out of her bedroom and down the hall.

“See? See I told you!” Ethan smiled, stopping in the middle of the living room as he pointed at the decorated tree. “And look at the cookies and carrots too! They’re all gone and the milk is gone and he even left a note!”

Matt walked over to the table, picking up the piece of Santa stationary Caroline used every year, coming from a website that parents can have Santa write replies to their kids, letting them know he received their gifts. “Ethan, Matthew, and Caroline thank you for the yummy cookies and milk, they were just what I needed on this long, busy night. The reindeer loved their carrots and had lots of energy for the rest of our night. Merry Christmas! Santa.”

He put the card back down onto the table, pouting as he looked at Ethan and Caroline. “He didn’t say anything about how I’ve been good this year, that’s rude.”

“Maybe because you get in fights,” Ethan replied, shrugging his shoulders as he plopped down in front of the tree. “Can we open presents now, pleaseeeee?”

“You two go ahead, I’ll pour us some coffee,” Caroline laughed, grabbing the cookie plate and empty glass of milk, carrying them into the kitchen, and rinsing them off before putting them away into the dishwasher.

She grabbed two mugs and prepared herself and Matt some of the coffee she had set to brew an hour ago. Once she had the mugs done, she walked back into the living room and handed Matt a mug before sitting down onto the couch next to him, curling up beside him as Ethan started to play How the Grinch Stole Christmas before walking over to the fireplace and grabbing all three stockings, walking back over and handing Matt and Caroline’s theirs before sitting back down onto the ground.

“So after we open the stockings, which present should I open first?” He asked, reaching into his stocking and pulling out the Christmas candy cane tubs, each full with m&m’s. “OOH YAY CANDY.”

“Actually,” Matt said, leaning forward and resting his mug on the table. “We want to talk to you about something first, okay?”

“Um...okay. Is it why you spent the night? Because you lived here in the summer, so it’s not that weird…” Ethan asked, keeping his stocking rested against his knees.

“No, but there’s a reason for that,” Matt replied, looking at Caroline as if he was asking if she wanted to tell. Caroline nodded at him to go ahead and tell Ethan and Matt turned back towards Ethan. “Remember how I told you how if anything new was ever going to happen with Mom and me, that you’d be the first to know?”

“Mhhm,” Ethan nodded, reaching into his stocking again slowly and trying to sneak the next object out as if Matt and Caroline weren’t sitting right in front of him.

“Well,” Matt smiled, reaching his left hand out and resting it on Caroline’s knees. “We’ve decided to go ahead and start dating again.”

Ethan snapped his head up from his stocking, eyes wide as he looked at them, dropping the stocking onto the ground. “Does that mean you’re getting married?!”

“No, that’s not what that means,” Caroline laughed, leaning forward and resting her coffee mug on the table. “We’re taking it one step at a time here Ethan.”

“Yay!” Ethan cheered, standing scurrying up off of the floor and running the short distance to them on the couch, jumping at them with a hug, leaning back as he kept an arm wrapped around each of their necks to hold himself up... “So you guys are boyfriend and girlfriend now?”

“We are,” Matt nodded, smiling at Caroline.

“I knew getting all that wish power for my birthday would work!” Ethan hugged them both again, tighter than he had before and while he was silent, they could feel and hear the excitement radiating from him as he switched to hugging them individually before crawling off of the couch and standing in front of them with a smile. “Okay, now when do I get a sibling?”

“One day at a time, E,” Matt laughed, nodding towards the stocking on the floor. “And right now, how about we relax and open the gifts before we head over to Grandma and Grandpa’s, okay?”

They spent their morning watching Ethan open his presents and get wide-eyed with each present he opened, the excitement written all over his face and the childlike amusement brought smiles to both of their faces. Matt hadn’t gotten to witness Ethan open his presents last year, so every time Ethan opened one and started talking all excitedly, Matt would laugh softly and lean against Caroline, talking to Ethan about the present.

They alternated between who opened presents before all the presents were unwrapped and placed neatly back near the tree so the living room still had some walking room. By 9:30, Ethan was sent off to get dressed for the day, while Caroline and Matt took out the trash with all the wrapping paper. When Ethan was done, Caroline had gone to get showered and dressed in her room, leaving Matt and Ethan behind in the living room. When she was putting her hair up, having just finished her make-up, Matt came into the room to get dressed.

“You almost ready?” He asked, tugging a red sweater over his head as he walked into the bathroom. “E’s almost spilled hot chocolate on himself about three times now.”

“I am now,” she replied, finishing her ponytail. “It took me some time to cover up the hickeys thank you very much.”

“You should’ve seen your face when Ethan asked you if you fell. I had the hardest time trying not to laugh.” He smiled, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “You look beautiful though. I’m one lucky man.”

“Mhhm, nice change of subject,” she replied, turning around and kissing him. “Come on, get your socks and shoes on so we can leave.”

Matt followed her out of the room and into the living room where Ethan was playing with one of his Christmas presents. Grabbing their winter jackets, they walked out of the house and made their way down the block to her parent's house where ahead of them, they could see Brady and Emma walking up her parent's driveway. Once they reached her parent's house, Ethan ran up ahead of them and onto the porch, ringing the doorbell twice before stepping back and waiting for Matt and Caroline to join him.

“Remember, best behavior E,” Matt said, resting his hands on Ethan’s shoulders.

“And it’s still pretty early, so just because you’re wide awake it doesn’t mean everyone else is. Keep an inside voice, all right?” Caroline added, fixing the one wild curl of his that was poking out.

“I know, I know. Best behavior so I can stay on the good list for next year,” Ethan nodded, looking at Matt. “Maybe you should do that too.”

Matt wrapped an arm around Ethan’s neck, pulling him back into him and ruffling up his hair. “Take it back or the tickle monster is coming out.”

The front door opened, Caroline’s mom standing in the doorway wearing her usual red Christmas sweater. “Grandma help me!” Ethan whined, trying to get out of Matt’s grasp. “Daddy’s being mean.”

“Matthew Tkachuk you leave that boy alone,” Chantal said, walking by in view of the front door.

Matt rolled his eyes, letting Ethan go. “Grandma and Mimi don’t come home with us at the end of the night, the tickle monster does.”

“Grandma, can I stay here tonight?” Ethan asked, pouting.

“Absolutely not, you’re sleeping at home,” Caroline said, nudging him into the house and by Matt. “Matt, leave him alone, it’s Christmas.” They walked into the house, Matt closing the door behind them before they greeted her Mom with hugs and taking their shoes off at the door.

“E-man!” Andrew smiled, standing up from the couch and holding his arms out. “Come over and give your favorite Uncle a hug cause you’ve missed him so much and he hasn’t gotten to see you since you’ve been off in Canada.”

“Hi Uncle Andy,” Ethan replied, jumping down the steps and running into the living room where everyone was sitting around on the couches, hugging Andrew. “How’s college and Nonnie?”

“They’re both good, little man,” Andrew replied, putting Ethan down and ruffling his hair. “Nonnie said to tell you that Mel said hi and she gave me your Christmas present, it’s just under the tree. Did the big man bring you good stuff this year?”

“Lots of stuff!” Ethan replied, walking towards the tree and going to pick up the present that Andrew had pointed at before standing back up and turning towards everyone. “I’m getting a sibling!”

Brady almost spit out his mimosa as he sat on the arm of the couch, everyone else sitting in silence and shock as they turned towards Matt and Caroline. “Nope, don’t listen to him,” Matt said, shaking his head and pointing at Ethan. “He’s lying.”

“I don’t know, you two definitely seem to have a track record of pre-marital children,” Andrew laughed, shrugging his shoulders.

“What do you mean you’re getting a sibling?” Keith asked, looking at Ethan as he waved him over to the chair.

“Mom and Dad are dating now, so obviously I’m gonna get a sibling soon,” Ethan replied, looking at Matt and Caroline. “Right? That’s what you said this morning.”

“We said one day at a time, Ethan,” Caroline laughed nervously, trying to prevent her face from turning red as she looked at her family. “I’m not pregnant and we’re not having a baby any time soon.”

“Well…” Taryn replied, standing herself up as she smiled. “I think I speak for everyone here when I say it’s about damn time you guys start dating again. Only took I don’t know, forever.”

After Ethan’s fall announcement, the two of them were congratulated by their families for finally figuring everything out before Caroline’s Dad suggested they all move into the kitchen to make their plates for breakfast. Ethan had requested How the Grinch Stole Christmas to play on the tv so they could all watch it in the living room as they ate. As they enjoyed breakfast, they went around opening more gifts, laughing, and overall enjoying one another’s company as they took in the peaceful atmosphere.

Caroline sat next to Emma, talking to her about her pregnancy as the two swapped information that Emma had read online and what Caroline had experienced when she was pregnant with Ethan. Emma was absolutely glowing, her five-month baby bump on display beneath her gray sweater, and Caroline was more than excited to talk to her about all the baby things she and Brady had bought or yet to buy for their little girl– who the two had come to settle on the name Madeline– and overall just how excited they were for the new addition to their family.

As the time dwindled on and they cleaned up the wrapping paper and breakfast, it was time for the group to go off to the one area in the neighborhood that the kids had designated as the hill for sledding before they’d head off to another night at the winter carnival where they would do the big Christmas tree lighting and a light show. Everyone was moving throughout the house, Emma and Brady packing up their gifts in the car, Andrew getting dressed upstairs in warmer clothes while Chantal was taking trips between their house and the Marsh’s with extra food dishes. Caroline had gone downstairs with Ethan to her parent's basement to grab some of the sleds they had stowed away.

“Hurry up, Momma! We’re gonna hit traffic!” Ethan groaned, carrying the two sleds up the stairs and blocking his own view as he left her behind downstairs.

“Go ahead, I’ll be right up,” Caroline replied, searching through the closet and grabbing herself an extra under layer jacket to wear so she wouldn’t be cold. Once she found one of her older jackets from college, she put it on over her sweater before she closed the closet door and started to make her way upstairs.

“Whoops, sorry there,” Keith said, bumping into her in the hallway as he came from the hall bathroom. “Oh hello, Caroline.”

“Hi Keith, sorry for bumping into you,” she apologized, closing the door behind her. “It’s so hectic, I wouldn’t be that surprised if I missed the sound of the door opening.”

“Well with that news earlier, I can understand how hectic today is. And I suppose congratulations are in order,” he smiled, hugging her. “About time you two figured it out.”

“Yeah, I think I figured it out a little bit ago, but it was just about letting myself allow to have what I want instead of telling myself I didn’t deserve to be with Matt because of what I did.”

“You’ve grown up so much,” he held onto her shoulders, smiling proudly. “Besides the fact you’re not that little cherub girl who would sit and share cotton candy with Matthew and Brady during my games, you've really grown up these last few years and I can see the difference just in the last year. So no matter how little progress you think you’re making, you’re still making it. And I’m so happy for you, Matthew and Ethan. This has been a long time coming.”

“Thank you,” Caroline nodded, hugging him again.

“Of course,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “Love you kiddo.”

“Love you too,” she replied, pulling away from the hug before letting Keith walk ahead of her down the hall.

As she walked out into the living room, she saw her parents getting up from the couch, just as Ethan and Matt had opposite of them. “Alright, are we ready to go?” Keith asked, clapping his hands together.

“Chantal, Brady, and Emma are all in their cars. Andrew just went outside and we’re getting ready to head out,” her Dad spoke, nodding towards the door. her parents heading towards the front door with Keith following behind them, leaving Matt and Caroline alone in the living room.

“You guys looked like you were in a good conversation, what did I miss?” She asked, walking over towards the front door where she hung up her winter jacket.

“Oh nothing much, just Christmas talk,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders before leaning down and kissing her, pulling away, and then grabbing his jacket off of the coat rack.

“What was that for?”

Matt looked up as he shrugged on his jacket, smiling. “Mistletoe.”

She smiled, looking up and spotting the mistletoe hanging above their heads before standing up on her tippy toes and kissing him again. “One for the road.”

“God,” he sighed heavily, shaking his head as he helped her get her jacket on over the new layer. “And to think I went eight years without getting to do that.”

“Good thing you won’t have to do it again, hm?” She asked, leaning into his arms as she wrapped her own around his waist.

He adjusted the ear warmer headband on her head before he cupped her face, tilting her head up to him as he kissed her softly and smiled, bumping his nose against hers. “Damn right.”

March 17th, 2025

Almost three months into their “new” relationship and things felt more than perfect. While the distance between them was by no means any easier than it was when they weren’t dating, everything else was great. The physical moments were few and far between, and the way they talked on the phone or over facetime never changed– but it felt different...it felt right. However, and maybe she was waiting to say it since their relationship was so brand new, even if it wasn’t and they’ve said it before...but Caroline had yet to tell Matt that she loved him and he her. There were multiple times where the three words almost came out of both of their mouths, both of them hesitating to say it because they were unsure if it was too soon.

But this trip to Calgary would be the last that Ethan and Caroline would be able to make until the end of the school year– and there was so much more on her mind than just visiting.

Luckily enough, it was pretty much perfect timing, how Caroline and Ethan’s school spring break schedules lined up with Matt’s season schedule. They flew in that Friday night, Matt having an off day before their Saturday game so he could pick them up from the airport, giving them Friday night and Saturday morning together before Matt flew off after the game with the Flames to go to Colorado. Caroline and Ethan spent the day with the Pruitts over at their house and watching the Flames game that night. They were able to spend Monday and Tuesday together and even some of this morning too before their game against New Jersey– Caroline loving every moment that she got to see Matt in his element and the city of fans cheer him and the Flames on.

Calgary was growing on her more and more and their two days walking around the city and experiencing life there played a big role in the nagging thoughts that kept her up at night.

The Flames had won 2-1 in a shootout, the winning goal scored by Sam. Ethan and Caroline met up with Matt in the hall outside of the locker room and when Matt came out, he greeted her with a kiss before hugging Ethan and then kissing her again– much to Ethan’s dismay– which was something she would never get over, that much she knew. They drove home together, Ethan struggling to stay awake and when they got to the apartment, Ethan went off to take a shower before Matt tucked him in, spending some time together and talking about the game while Caroline was off in Matt’s bedroom, unpacking his duffle bag and putting whatever dirty clothes he had in it, off into his hamper before placing the bag down beside his dresser for Friday’s game. After Ethan was asleep, Matt came into the room, closing the door behind him as he got undressed by the hamper before walking into the bathroom to take his shower.

Caroline changed over into her pajamas before climbing into Matt’s bed, of course lying on her side as she snuggled down into the sheets and turned on his tv, putting on Netflix to distract her. She put on Grey's Anatomy, not caring where it started playing since it was just something to keep as background noise and that she wasn’t paying attention to– her eyes often moving from between the screen and the bathroom door. She got through half the episode of Lexi Grey telling Meredith they were sisters when Matt came out of the bathroom, already dressed in some gym shorts and rubbing his hair dry with the towel. She sat up slightly, watching him as he walked back into the bathroom, the towel slung over his shoulder along with a t-shirt and when he came back towards her, pulling the St. Louis shirt over his head and turning off the bathroom light behind him, her heart was thudding against her chest.

“I’m exhausted,” he huffed, lifting the covers and climbing beneath the covers, and letting his body sink into his mattress. “Oh yeah, no funny business tonight because I don’t think I’ll be awake for the next ten minutes.”

“I think we should move,” she blurted out, turning towards him as he laid his head down against his pillow.

“Move where?” He asked, looking at her as he rested his hands on his stomach.

“Calgary,” Caroline replied, speaking softly as she rested her hands in her laps, fiddling with her fingers and getting more nervous by the second as he stared at her in confused silence. “I was thinking...I mean, if you’re okay with it...that Ethan and I could move up here with you? But if it’s too soon, then that’s fine.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, chill out,” Matt laughed, noticing her nervous rambling as he pushed himself up and turned towards her. “You want to move up here...with me?”

Caroline opened her mouth to speak, instead just nodding in reply as she looked at him, still fiddling with her fingers.

“But what about work a-and everyone at home? Heather, Blake, our parents, Ethan’s school and friends?” He asked, reaching out and holding onto her hands.

“I think it would be better for us to move up here and be with you than it is for us to be stuck down in St. Louis. Besides, I own Nana’s house so I can just have my Mom look after it during the season, and then in the summer when the season’s done, we can come back to it.”

Matt looked at her as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and maybe he couldn’t. After all, one of the biggest blocks in her and Jonathan’s entire relationship– was just how strongly she felt about moving Ethan away from their families and friends and everything he’s ever known. Yet here she was, suggesting the very same thing. She would be leaving behind her job, her friends and connections, Ethan’s friends and their family...to come up and live with Matt in Calgary– where there were times that he could be gone for at least a week.

“But...your job?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “You love working there. You’ve got great friendships with your co-workers a-and your students.”

“I do and I’ll miss it and them,” she nodded, squeezing his hands softly. “But what Ethan needs is his Dad. Not just during holiday breaks or the few days you’re in town...he needs you. It doesn’t matter if you’re on long roadies or you come home late when he’s already asleep because there’s always the morning and road trips don’t last forever. He needs you outside of daily facetime calls and the only way I can think of to fix that...is by moving.”

Matt brought her hands up, kissing the backs of them before looking at her. “And what about you? What do you need?”

“I wouldn’t mind having someone to fall asleep next to every night,” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “The left side of the bed does get pretty cold and lonely and I’ll admit...Facetime and phone calls are nice, but they don’t beat the real thing. I’d love to be able to hug you or kiss you every day and get to see you play more.”

“Plus, Facetime sex is definitely not the same. How we survived doing that, I have no idea.” Matt smiled, as she rolled her eyes.

“Probably because we had no idea what we were doing.” She laughed, playing with his hands.

“So…whatever happened to taking things slow, hm?” He teased, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her hands. “Considering we’ve only been officially dating for...hm...three months now?”

“What can I say?” She shrugged, a smile on her face. “I’m in it for the long haul.”

“Lucky for you,” he replied, rubbing his thumb over her left ring finger. “I am too.”

She reached up and cupped his face with both hands, kissing him softly before pulling back just far enough to where she could look at him, brushing her thumbs along his jaw. “I love you.”

His reaction to those three words was almost identical to how it was all those years ago when they were teenagers and told each other that they loved the other for the very first time. His eyes had widened slightly, his eyebrows barely raised and the twinkle in his eye was enough to set the butterflies alive and distract her from the thudding in her chest.

He smiled, brushing his hands up beneath the sides of her shirt and brushing his thumbs against her warm skin as he leaned in closer, pressing his nose against hers. “I love you too.”

August 30th, 2025

Caroline couldn’t remember the last time she was so busy.

The Flames had won another Stanley Cup, this time against the Penguins, and the way Ethan fangirled over Sidney Crosby when he and Caroline happened to bump into him after the first game in the series, was one for the books. He had practically frozen in place when he spotted Sidney when they were trying to find their way to the visitor's locker room after they stopped to use the restroom and Sid could’ve walked right by, ignoring the little kid in the Flames jersey and postseason jacket, but he immediately recognized the starstruck look on Ethan’s face and stopped to talk with him for a bit. Ethan loved it, Caroline loved it and Matt was thankful to Sid when he came walking up, shaking his hand and Ethan following suit before Sid left.

The summer was a good one to remember too. They took Ethan up to Boston where they spent some time visiting Keith’s side of the family, giving him the extra time to meet and get to know family– to which he absolutely would not leave Kevin’s side, too excited about how they were related and barely able to stop talking, to which Matt said was interesting since they were trying to teach Ethan how to golf. Then they went up to Winnipeg to spend time with Chantal’s side of the family, again spending and getting to know the family he’d yet to meet. In July, the morning of their flight where they were supposed to meet up her family and the Tkachuk’s down at the beach house in Florida, they celebrated a surprise proposal instead– the sentimental moment enough to make the rest of their summer feel like a blur and that nothing else would build-up to that moment. While in Florida, they even got to spend some time with the Pruitts when Caroline, Ethan, and Matt went down to Universal instead of going back to St. Louis with their families to head over to the lake house.

The trip to Universal was the last vacation they had before they stayed in St. Louis the rest of the summer where they got to spend a little more time with Brady, Emma, and their new addition Madeline who was almost five months old. Getting to spend time with the tiny baby was great– Matt, Ethan, and Caroline all loved getting to spend time with and cuddle or play with the newest Tkachuk addition. If anything, it gave their family of three major baby fever. Caroline thought back on how tiny Ethan used to be and how much she loved the baby stage, even if it could be exhausting. Ethan loved being able to play with Madeline, even if there was only so much they could do– he truly enjoyed it. And Matt, Matt loved it all together. Out of the three though, it was Matt and Ethan who kept pushing a baby, Caroline often reminding them that it wasn’t happening anytime soon.

It was the beginning of the month when things really got hectic. Trying to settle and prepare for the school year at the same time was a big task. Caroline remembered her last move from her apartment and into her Nana’s house as a smooth one and that was when she was bringing in a little more furniture. Here, in Matt’s...well, technically their three-bedroom apartment, there wasn’t much that they needed to bring besides their clothes and a few personal items they chose. But still, in the last week of unpacking, it felt like she was still getting settled in– even if they had been moved in the last two weeks.

And it wasn’t like she did it on her own, either. Matt had yet to start training camp and they had help from their families, as well as Gio and Lauren who they’d spent time with on their first weekend in Calgary. Plus the Pruitt’s were back in Calgary as well, Elizabeth being like a saving grace to Caroline. Maybe it was being in a new home that was throwing her off or maybe it was because the school year was starting in two days and training camp. In two days, she was going to start her new life, where Matt was preparing for a season, Ethan was starting fourth grade at a new school and Caroline was preparing to teach at St. Mary’s High School as a multi-grade English teacher– a job Elizabeth helped her get since Elizabeth teaches science amongst the three grades as well.

Add all of that in with also planning a wedding for next year and it’s a miracle that Caroline hasn’t lost her mind.

“Momma, I’m back!” Ethan called out, the sound of the door closing echoing through the apartment. “Mr. Thompson walked me up cause Mollie was crying and tired, so Mrs. Elizabeth couldn’t get out of the car, but she waited for Mr. Thompson to meet me at the front door and told me to tell you that they’re still coming over for dinner after they take Mr. Pruitts Mom and Dad to the airport.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Did you say thank you to Mrs. Elizabeth and Mr. Thompson?” Caroline asked, looking towards the door as he walked into the living room.

“I did,” he replied, taking his overnight bag off and holding onto it. “I’m gonna go take a shower now for dinner. Adam and I were playing mini sticks with Mr. Pruitt and it was us two against him and it was really fun.”

“Before you do, can you set out the placemats and silverware?” She asked, setting her school planner aside as she stood up. “I had them set out and meant to do it, but I just wanted to go over my lesson plan one more time.”

“That’s okay, I can help,” he put his backpack down beside the couch before walking into the kitchen with her, grabbing the placemats. “Are you nervous?”

“Very,” she nodded, grabbing the silverware and following him around the dining room table, putting them down beside the placemats before walking back into the kitchen. “It’ll be weird without any of my co-workers and friends from before, especially Coach Preston...but I’m also excited. Mrs. Elizabeth really enjoys working there and everyone I’ve met so far is friendly. What about you? Are you nervous for school?”

“Yeah, really nervous,” he replied, walking into the kitchen with her as she checked the recipe she had found off of Pinterest that was cooking in the crockpot, as well as the food in the oven. “I don’t know anyone besides Adam…”

“Well, you know the Giordano’s too…” Caroline replied, leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, but they're in a older and younger grade,” he replied, nervously plucking at the towel hanging on the bar of the oven handle. “I had a lot of friends back home…”

Caroline sighed, walking towards him and resting her hands on his shoulders. “I know, sweetie. But hey, I’m sure Adam will introduce you to all of his friends, and then once you guys start practice, you’ll make even more.”

“I know.” Ethan nodded, still pouting slightly.

“Are you regretting moving up here?” She asked, squatting down in front of him. “It’s okay if you are, Ethan. You don’t need to be scared to tell me, I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”

“I like being up here, I promise. I just miss my friends and my team I guess.” Ethan shrugged, taking a deep breath and sighing. “I also miss Grandma, Grandpa, Papa Walt, and Mimi. BeeBee and Emmy too and Maddie...but I also really like being up here because we’re with Dad, so I feel bad for being up here and being happy being away from them...but I miss them too, so that’s okay, right?”

“You don’t need to feel guilty about living up here with Dad, Ethan,” she replied, holding onto his hands and squeezing them. “It’s okay to be happy living up here while also missing your friends and family. I miss them all too and I can promise you that when Dad first moved up here or even when he went to Michigan or Ontario, that he’s felt exactly what you’re feeling. So if you ever want to talk, you can always talk to either of us, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good,” she smiled, leaning in and kissing his cheek before standing up. “Now go ahead and take a shower, Dad will be home any minute and you don’t need to dress up super fancy tonight, but please put on a nice shirt.”

Ethan left the kitchen as she opened the fridge, checking on the chocolate mousse pie she got from Heather before closing it and returning back to the couch where she was able to see her phone light up with a text from Emma, who was one of her right hands in helping plan her wedding aside from Cheryl, her planner, her Mom, Chantal, and Heather. Taryn had opted out of helping plan the wedding, instead deciding she wanted to help plan the bachelorette party instead– in true Taryn fashion.

Just as she relaxed down on the couch, ready to reply to Emma’s text, she heard the key in the lock, and then the door opened a few moments later. “I’m home,” Matt called out, closing the door and hanging his keys up on the key hook by the door. “And I picked up that video game E was talking about. Figured it’d be a nice ‘sorry your summer is ending and you have to go back to school, but good luck’ present.”

“I’m sure he’ll love it,” she replied, looking at him as he walked behind the couch and came around, sitting down beside her. “He’s in the shower now, which you should be doing once he’s done. Can’t have you stinking up the dinner table.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “I don’t smell that bad.”

“Tell that to my nose,” she joked, waving him off.

“Oh yeah, don’t mind if I do,” he replied, dropping the plastic shopping bag onto the floor and turning on the couch, pouncing on top of her and pushing her down onto the couch. “Embrace the post-workout stink, Care.”

“Get off of me you dork,” she laughed, nudging his chest up and off of her as he held his hands beside either side of her head. “Don’t make me call your Mom, you do know she told me that if you were ever picking on me, to call.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. This is just me showing love and affection to my fiancé, nothing more or nothing less.” He smiled. “Unless you want to move this into the shower...then it’s a little more than that.”

“No can do, I already showered this morning,” she replied, patting his chest and signaling for him to get up, sitting herself up as he did so as well. “Besides, I’ve got to reply to this text Emma sent.”

“Ooh, another picture of my favorite niece?”

“No, it’s about the wedding.” Caroline sighed, looking at the text. “She wants to know what I prefer for the boutonniere for you and the groomsmen. Cymbidium orchids are a really popular choice, but baby’s breath could be a close second.” She looked up from her and phone and at him. “What do you think?”

“I think I just had a major cause of deja vu and I need to go call my brother,” he laughed, pushing himself up off of the couch.

“Matthew,” she whined, pouting slightly. “Come on, I want your input on more than just the suits or anything involving the men.”

“Okay, I’ll provide input on the honeymoon lingerie,” he smiled, laughing as she rolled her eyes. “Kidding, kidding. Send me the pictures of said options and I’ll take a look, okay?”

Caroline nodded, sending him the pictures of the two options before letting her phone rest down beside her as she leaned back into the couch with a sigh. “Planning a wedding is so stressful. I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing, even if I have all this help. I just...I want it to be perfect for the both of us.”

“You make the wedding what you want it to be, Care. I’ll be glad to give my input if you want it, but all I want is for you to be able to bring that dream Pinterest wedding board you’ve had since high school...alive.” He spoke, grabbing her left hand and running his hand over her engagement ring. “Our wedding’s already perfect to me because I’m marrying you. I get to see you walk down the aisle towards me and Ethan and we get to exchange vows and rings and you know what the most important thing is to me?”

“What?” She asked, pouting slightly as she looked up at him.

“That I get to hear the officiant say ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride’ and obviously kissing you is great, but the part I’m looking forward to most is when they say ‘ladies and gentlemen, I’m proud to announce, Mr. and Mrs. Tkachuk.’ That’s it, that’s my perfect wedding. You, me, and Ethan, all sharing one last name and officially being a family...and then, of course, making more babies. That’s perfect too.”

Caroline laughed, nudging his arm. “No babies till after the wedding,” she replied, holding his hand with her left hand. “You promise to look at the picture options?”

“Absolutely,” he replied, grabbing her right hand. “After our shower, though. You look stressed, there’s nothing that needs dire attention right now–”

“There’s food in the oven.”

“Will it be done in ten minutes?” He asked, pulling her up off of the couch.

“Well, no but–”

“Perfect, because that’s all we need,” he said, intertwining his left hand with hers. “We’re going to relax in the shower. Then we’re going to get dressed, look over the options and then come out here and have a fun dinner with our friends and their families, okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded, squeezing his hand. “Do you want me to wash your hair?”

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” he laughed, cupping her face with his left hand and kissing her twice.

“No funny business,” she said, following him into their room as she pointed at the hall bathroom. “We’ve got a child present.”

“A child who will most likely go back to his room and play on his Xbox or facetime his not-girlfriend,” Matt said, letting go of her hand and coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. “I think we’ll be fine with a little funny business. It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“We’ve got options to look at,” she replied, looking over her shoulder at him.

“But first,” he nudged her into their room, closing and locking the door behind him. “We’ve got a shower to take.”

“Matthew, what are you–” She laughed, her arms immediately wrapping themselves around his neck as he picked her up bridal style. “The bathroom’s right there, I can walk.”

“Yeah, but I’ve gotta practice for the honeymoon,” he smiled, kissing her and pulling back as he walked them into the bathroom, putting her down and walking towards the shower and reaching in, turning it on before turning back around, smiling at her as he peeled off his shirt, tossing it onto the ground. “Come on, future Mrs. Tkachuk...strip.”

taglist [if striked through, it won’t let me tag you 🥺] :

@steve-is-daddy @hockeybabe87 @nolanscheeks@hey-there9-its-me @besthockeyfics @hockeyschmockey @tysonsjosty @hockeystop @hannabritta @robschwartzman @ipuckwithhockey-archive @tkachuk-yeah @luvsherleafs @heyheyheyhayes @oilers2997@cutiesara23 @glassdanse @annedub @notaccurateornice @art-m-anic @corrinereads @reavenedges-lies @lwstuff @whatishockey @mydarkestsecretlol@dorotheathe1 @barzyspov @dutch-tv-fan@dude-44 @wastedheartcth @sorryjustafangirl @turnoutthecitylights@teenagekook @precioustk @lorrmorr @linkingdolans @starswin @barzysreputation @heatherawoowoo @usmileismile @hockey-and-wine @brehonodea @ggggmoneyyyy @majdoline@hiimjaredim19 @aesterins @adelaidestreets @idkalexaaw @u-4-ia@jennielynnie @miss-cap21 @itrocksmysocks @spencereidbasis @b34ut1fulb4st4rds @withthelightoff @dreamer1430@predshockeyfan @joelsfarabees@ollywahlygator @lovethepreds@taitor-tots @fansessions @basicallyido @mattyskies @ayowhatitdojd @string06 @dreamsndior @stuff4me2do @tkachuk197 @missymore @mellany1997 @leafs-forever @love-like-woaah@puckingrightschicagoo @hockeyunits @fuckyeahmattytkachuk @himbos-on-ice @brkfstatmidnite @rattymattytkachuk @tkapuckit @lovemesomevesey@thebestoffanfiction @ohpuckyeah@hrmatics @patsmoynihan @monalicia@simplegirl-lat @isletakebarzal@carebearofriddles

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maizumis · 3 years

Text

LOVE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE - suna x fem!reader smau

part 5: the date

summary: after years of not talking to each other, your childhood best friend decided to reach out again, how will everything go?

note: heavy make out session with suna, he says ily as the stupid boy he is, thanks to @sunalma cos one of the songs is out of her playlists<33

series masterlist - part 6

An elevator ride couldn't feel so long and short at the same time, biting your lip, scared of seeing that person after so many years.

Clumsily taking your keys out of your bag, you open the door and there you saw it, perfect, handsome boy you fell in love on the young years of high school

“you look beautiful, as always” He told you with his deep voice that made you shiver on spot, he seemed more mature now, with features no longer like the ones of a teenage boy. You were out of guard when his arms wrapped comfortably around your waist, still leaning into it

Looking at him, at his eyes, that same green eyes that made you fall in love when you were a child and that green eyes that were making you fall in love, again “Rin, I missed you” you whisper with a soft tone, your head resting in the comfiness of the crook of his neck, his left hand came to cup your cheek, taking in how fucking pretty you looked like that

“I missed you too, so much, do you want to know what did I plan?”

“yeah rin, I'm sure I'm gonna love it" he took your hand in his, leading the way to the passenger sit in his car "you're not gonna found out until we are there, so you better be patient" he slid the seatbelt in front of him and pecked your hand before starting the car "okay, I can handle that"

"the aux is yours then, pretty girl"

your eyes widen after hearing that pet name "do you want me to call you daddy too?" it was supposed to be funny, you thought he would only call you pretty girl in texts, apparently not

"if you like"

Pretty Please by Dua Lipa starts playing in the background, gradually turning up the volume until it was hard to hear your own voice

Suna thought the sight was pretty, the window on your side rolled down with the wind all over your face, happily singing by the lyrics not giving a single fuck about the world, just as he loved to remember you

"This makes me remember of the old days but instead of the car, you in my room giving me a concert that, in fact, didn't ask for"

his comment took you back down to earth, old days, just old days, no feelings attached at the moment; you were praying to any god up there to make the butterflies go away in your gut go away, you were one hundred percent sure he could hear your heart beating from where he was sitting, not even the loud music could hide it

“old days? We should make new memories I think”

"yeah, we can make new memories but we shouldn't let go of the ones we have, hand me your phone" you did as you were told, suspicious of what he was about to do until you saw him open Spotify, oh okay, he is gonna change the song.

Fluorescent Adolescent was now blasting from the stereo "umm, love this song, gives me the dancing in front of a mirror with a brush vibe"

He chuckled at what you said "and you did that? would like to see it with my own eyes"

"We are almost there, babe, close your eyes"

"Babe? we are not dating, Rintaro"

"maybe we should"

maybe we what? that did take you back, choosing for peace, you shut your mouth and closed your eyes, anxiously waiting for what he had

"you have your eyes closed, right"

"yes, rin, they are closed, I didn't know you were blind"

he opened the door of your seat, interlacing your hands so he could guide you behind a tall tree "I need you to stay here until I have everything done, okay? it's not gonna take more than ten minutes" he didn't give you time to answer that he was already walking back to his car.

"better be something good" you murmured under your breath, turning on your phone to scroll through social media until he called you.

he called you exactly eight minutes after he dropped you behind the tree "if you don't like this, then I don't know what should I do"

The scene in front of you was dreamy to say at least, the back of his car decorated with fairy lights, lots of blankets that seemed so warm, and pillows in all their forms that you knew for a fact they were comfortable as fuck, you were quick to wrap your arms around his neck, chanting like a mantra 'rin, this is beautiful' and 'im so thankful' he gladly took you in his arms, his nose behind your ears, landing a sweet peck right there

"you ready for movie night, pretty girl?"

"bet your ass I'm ready, Rintaro Suna" and with that you were off, running to his car ready to spend the best night of your life

Or perhaps the beginning of the end, who knows

Howl's moving castle last scenes were on the screen of his laptop, a weird feeling in your heart after he remembered it was- no, is your favorite; you two stared sitting beside the other and now he has his arm protectively around you, his back straight against the backseat while your head was on top of his underarms, cheeks smashed to his collarbone "you did remember it, rin" your eyes still locked on the screen in front of you, watching the movie credits.

He looked down at you with soft eyes, deciding to close the laptop and pull it aside "how could I not? hand me my phone"

you did as you were told, searching for the little device under the huge blankets "here! take it"

he quickly searched for a song and toss it aside, I Wanna Be Yours playing inside the car from the 11-inch phone "come here" he signaled, patting his lap.

it took you a good minute to realize what he meant but now you're on top of him, looking at his emerald eyes in search of a hint of what he is thinking

he took his time analyzing your feature, looking at your cheeks, forehead, baby hairs, nose, lips, and finally your eyes, he could see the past in them, and a little of his future too

"not as much as you, rin"

he didn't answer, to lost in the paradise of your face, he was now focused on your lips, how would they taste?

to answer his own question, he leaned into your face, into your lips that he knew that were begging to be touched by his own

your eyes were wide, taken by surprise by his action, even if you saw it coming, it was something you were dreaming for years now

he looked at your eyes again for a kind of permission, and when he saw you nod, his hand was in the back of your neck in a matter of seconds while yours found home on his hair, tugging it slightly

"a kiss and you're all whiny and needy"

"shut up and fucking kiss me-"

he took the chance of sliding his tongue inside your mouth, exploring every single place he could, his free hand now on your lower back to move you back and fort his lap, he took the flavor of the artificial coconut lip balm you were wearing, he took all he could, in fact

"not only you look good but you taste good too" you hear him groan before going into it again, soft pants coming out of your mouth, whimpering his name as a mantra r-rin, r-innie, arching your back to be closer to him, you could feel his smirk on your now puffy lips with every movement of your hips, the hand on your lower back now going down to grip your thigh

pulling out to catch a little air, you rested your head on his large neck, you two were in comfortable silence, your head rested against his chest and his hands caressing your cheek

maybe ten minutes passed while you were cuddling until your phone screen turned up after a notification- you didn't care about it but the time, past two in the morning "rin, would you take me home? is getting late" he gave your cheek a sweet kiss before standing out the car, extending his hands to help you do the same "of course I can, pretty girl"

the drive back home was quiet, you could hear Apocalypse in the car radio, looking by the window to the beautiful night lights in the city, suna's hand on your thigh, playing with it from time to time, using the other one to drive

"We are here"

"Thanks for bringing me home, rin, I had fun"

he stepped out of the car with you- not letting you out that easily, his hands with a firm grip of your waist and silence was around the two of you, just appreciating the presence of each other, your hands going inside his jackets to hold his waist too

"good night, I love you" he told you and sealed his words with one last kiss

taglist [open]: @arrogantsonofabiscuit @sakusasbitch @souco @minamihrs @sunasexual @boba-duckie @discountkiyoko @shoyotime @sunalma @kuroohoeee @cubbluv @astrqmi @triniteaaa @zukoslosthishonor @iheartkuroorin @kac-chowsballs @akaashiwife @lilith412426 @loveprisms @eunoiwa @gladly-olus @its-the-aerieljeane @smackmyasslikeavolleyball @bakugouswh0r3 @mydandydays @erens-piss-cleaner @call-me-lulu

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gifted-burnout-archive · 4 years

Text

Like It’s Now Or Never

Requested?: Yes. You lot wanted JaTP smut, so here it is.

Word Count: 10.5K+ (oops)

Author’s Note: Three things. 1. This was meant to be up last night, sorry. 2. This was posted and then deleted because Tumblr didn’t show any of the text. 3. I’ve based the concert off of this Sunset Curve: Greatest Hits playlist by @pattersonluke who I absolutely adore. Linking it here, please check it out!

Warning: smut, duh.

Quick Context: this is an AU where the band don’t die, so alive!Luke x Reader

Y/N Y/L/N was used to being overlooked by people.

It wasn’t something that particularly bothered her, a teen of rather nervous disposition, and often meant she was able to operate without interruption. At school, she kept good grades while never being touted as a scholar; at work, she picked up extra shifts and was her manager’s favourite without ever being called out as ‘Employee of the Month’. She was a quiet soul, something she had been told she got from her grandfather.

It made it all the more impossible for people to believe she was really managing her cousin’s rock band.

“Woah, woah…” A bouncer about twice the girl’s height knocked on the window of her car as she parked in the alleyway by the Orpheum, prompting Y/N to struggle with the old Volvo’s window crank until she could poke her head out and let the man finish what he had to say. “Sorry sweetie, you can’t park here. We’ve got a band playing tonight, need this space for official vehicles only.”

“Oh, that’s me. I’m an official vehicle. Manager to Sunset Curve.” Y/N responded with a smile, lifting her hand and stretching it out the window to greet the bouncer.

“You?” He asked, sincere in his surprise, and Y/N responded by rummaging around and locating the backstage pass she had been gifted earlier in the day. When the bouncer’s boss had told them the band had equipment arriving that night, the last person he thought would bring it was a teenage girl no more than seventeen.

“Indeed. Would you mind helping me bring the stuff inside?” She asked, waiting for the bouncer to step back before exiting the vehicle, jumping out onto the street and looking up at the towering man. “Everything’s labelled, if you just leave it in the hall it would be really helpful.” She explained, walking round to the car’s trunk and opening it up to show an array of neatly packed boxes and instruments. The bouncer followed, chuffing in pleasant surprise at how tidy everything looked: he was pretty sure that the t-shirts had been folded with tissue paper to avoid creasing. Not something he saw with every rock band. “Sorry, I’m Y/N. What’s your name?”

“Mac… Any order I need to follow or…” The bouncer asked, and Y/N shook her head, running round to the front passenger seat to lift out her handbag and a stack of pizza boxes.

“If you just get it in the hallway, Mac. I can sort everything out from there.” She smiled over, headed for the door. “I had a feeling I’d need someone’s help getting all this in with the boys on stage, so I’ve got you a pizza from Alfredo’s on 9th to say thank you.” She added, and Mac looked up with a smile. He had certainly never met a band manager who had bought him pizza before. Not just pizza, either: Alfredo’s on 9th pizza.

“I’ll be sure not to break anything then.” He responded, and Y/N tossed him over her car keys before pulling open the Orpheum’s side door with her foot and making her way down the hall.

A few steps into the building, Y/N was welcomed by feedback, the band starting their sound check, shortly followed by a wave of music that hit her like a high-speed train and caused her to pause. She took a moment acquainting herself with the volume change, a smile appearing on her face as she heard the familiar sound of her best friend’s voice before she made her way further into the building. She had been there the day before, dropping off the drum kit and amps, and she memorised the building’s floor plan, and quickly locating the staircase she needed to head down and taking it with a sure set pace.

It took Y/N no more than a minute to emerge from the tangle of backstage passageways onto the venue’s main floor, pizzas still perfectly balanced in one hand while she rummaged through her bag for something. She quickly made her way over to the bar in the room’s centre, setting the pizzas down on the countertop as she pulled an inhaler from her purse, and looked up as someone cleared their throat over the music.

Y/N’s eyes met those of the bartender, a girl maybe a year older than her, with her hand caught underneath the stack of pizzas Y/N had absentmindedly placed down.

“I’m so sorry!” She squeaked, lifting the boxes off the girl’s hand only to be met with a smile and light laugh.

“It’s alright, just teasing.” She called over the music, then gestured to the band. “They’re good, right?” She said with smile, and Y/N turned to look at the stage, finally taking the chance to stop and enjoy the music.

No matter how many times she saw her friends in action, their music always seemed to take her breath away. On that stage, the boys she had grown up with had never been more themselves. They radiated this confidence and energy that made you want to sing along, the sort of pull that Y/N had only witnessed with bands like Queen, ACDC: it was an undeniable star power. Up there, under the blazing lights and playing together, those boys had the ability to melt away all her troubles, make them vanish under the bang of drums and the shredding of guitar.

She watched until their sound check ended, clapping wildly and whooping along with the bartender as the guys caught their breath, taking it as her cue to head up there and join them, scooping up the inhaler as she made her way onto the stage.

“Thank you, we’re Sunset Curve. Tell your friends.” Reggie, Y/N’s very own blood, said into the mic, sending a wink towards the bartender and earning a punch in the arm from Y/N as she passed by him. “Hey!” He pouted, though it didn’t last long.

“Too bad we wasted that on sound check. That’s the tightest we’ve ever played!” Bobby commented as he set down his guitar and grabbed a towel, fist bumping Luke as he turned back around.

“Just wait until tonight, man, when this place gets packed with record execs.” Luke was practically vibrating with excitement, and Y/N smiled on as the boys congregated.

“Alex, you were smoking.” Reggie complimented their drummer as he came down from his stand, drumsticks in hand.

“Oh, no.” Alex responded with a shrug. “I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire.” He gestured to the other three.

“Could you just own your awesomeness for once?” Reggie asked with a waving of his hands that nearly hit Y/N in the face, but she was quick enough to dodge it.

“… All right, I was killing it!” Alex admitted, Luke’s hands coming up to pat his bandmate on the shoulders, shaking the lanky blonde a little from his own excitement.

“Nicely done, guys.” Y/N spoke up, the four pairs of eyes landing on her, each with a bright smile on their faces. Her best friends, all together, all happy: it made her heart swell. “First off, Alex.” She turned, tossing over the inhaler. “You left it in my car this morning. Don’t let it happen again.” He caught it quickly, mouthing a quick ‘thank you’ before shoving it in his pocket. “Second, I got Alfredo’s.” She gestured to the pizza boxes on the counter beside the pretty bartender and, in a chorus of whoops, the four guys rushed passed her and jumped off the stage, Reggie first to the boxes and shoving a slice of pizza into his mouth before Y/N had even got herself back on the main floor.

“You guys are really good.” The bartender complimented, continuing her previous activity of buffing the bar before the soundcheck had happened. For the first time in a while, she was excited to be working.

“Thank you.” Luke said with a dopey grin, sorting through the stack and pulling out the one labelled with his name, promptly digging into a delicious slice of pepperoni.

“I see a lot of bands. Been in a couple myself. I was really feeling it.” She continued, Y/N walking up and joining the boys, lifting out one of the pizza boxes and setting it to the side for Mac the bouncer, before sliding down Bobby’s and Alex’s. Reggie was already on his second slice.

“That’s what we do this for. I’m Luke, by the way.”

“Hi, I’m Reggie.” A muffled add on.

“Alex.”

“Bobby.” He winked at the bartender, and Y/N stifled a laugh at the dark-haired boy’s attempt at flirting.

“Nice meeting you guys.” Luke noticed the eyes Bobby was making at her a moment after Y/N, sticking a finger in his mouth before shoving it in the taller boy’s ear. “I’m Rose.” The bartender introduced, and Reggie quickly grabbed his cousin’s purse off the counter, opening it up and grinning when he saw a top and CD inside, pulling them out.

“I was gonna…” Y/N sighed as she watched Reggie turn back to Rose with the objects in hand, one of them being the shirt Y/N had planned to change into for that night.

“So, uh. Here’s our demo, and a t-shirt. Size beautiful.” He handed them over with raise of the eyebrows, Alex and Y/N groaning at the same time.

“Thanks! I’ll be sure not to wipe the tables down with this one.” Rose grinned, and Alex swallowed the slice of pizza he chewed on.

“Oh, good call. Whenever they get wet, they just kinda… fall apart in your hands.” He admitted with a nervous laugh, and Bobby leaned forward on the bar.

“Vegan-friendly though. I could… I could never hurt an animal.” He said with a dashing smile to Rose, and Y/N quickly realised why the boy had called her up not a half hour before to change his food order to ‘something, anything vegetarian’. “Hey Y/N, won’t you be needing a hand with the guitars? The boxes… stuff?” He asked, the girl looking up and rolling her eyes at Bobby before nodding quickly, picking up the pizza for Mac while Luke, Alex, and Reggie grabbed their own food.

“He had a hamburger for lunch.” Luke called as he followed his friends towards the hallway that led backstage, earning a glare from Bobby before he turned back to the pretty bartender. Y/N had a feeling they wouldn’t see him again until call time.

“I’ll be back in two, gotta get this to the bouncer. Dressing room’s down the stairs to the right.” Y/N instructed the guys, who headed off towards the comfy couches and air con while she made her way back to the side door, the contents of her car neatly stacked along the wall. “Mac, you are an angel.” She said softly to herself.

“Well, I try.” She received a reply from the bouncer, stood outside the door, and smiled wider, placing down his pizza on a shelf by the exit, and picking up her car keys from the surface. “Need anything else?” He called through.

“No thanks, I got it from here! Enjoy the food!” She said back, quickly lifting the first stack of boxes and balancing them along the corridor.

By the time she had finished moving everything to where she needed it; the t-shirts and demo CDs to front of house, the smoke machine and spare strings and picks to stage side; the guitars along to the dressing rooms, the boys had already finished their pizzas, and were now raiding the complimentary snack basket from the venue.

She kicked open the dressing room door to find her cousin and friends three quarters of the way through a fruit bowl of trail mix.

“You guys seriously never stop eating, do you?” She asked, setting down the instruments and collapsing into an armchair, letting out a sigh of relief. Her evening was only beginning, of course, but she was ahead of schedule, and felt she deserved to sink into the chair’s comforting embrace. “What do you think Bobby’s chances are of getting the pretty bartender’s number?” she asked, her eyes closing as her muscles relaxed.

“30, 40%?” Alex offered, receiving a laugh from Reggie.

“More like zero.” He said through a mouth of nuts and Reece’s Pieces.

“What, like you could get it, cuz?” Y/N asked, her eyebrow raising despite her eyes still being closed.

“Tell me why we let Y/N hang around again?” Reggie responded, his tone playful and lacking the malice one might normally accompany with the rhetoric, and Y/N’s eyes opened as a smile spread over her lips, the happiness radiating from them all.

“Maybe because she’s the person who got us this gig?” Luke offered, walking over and ruffling Y/N’s hair with a laugh as she swatted at him. “Plus, Alex and I are living in her garage…” He shrugged, and sent a grin Y/N’s way as she fixed her hair back to its original styling.

“Yeah, and!” Alex chimed in, leaning back against one of the vanity’s with his hands in his pockets. “None of you ever remember my inhaler. And I’ve never seen someone restring and tune a guitar as fast as Y/N… And like, also the whole best manager in the world thing.” He added, and Y/N found herself sitting up a little.

“To be honest Reggie, I think what the guys are saying is: I’m amazing, and you’re really lucky you play bass.” She teased her older cousin with a cheeky grin, earning laughs from Luke and Alex while Reggie looked on, a little confused.

“Wait, what do you mean I’m lucky I play bass?” He asked, not quite catching on to what she implied, and only making his three friends laugh more.

“Ok, ok.” Y/N said after a moment, pulling herself off the chair and walking over to the stack of instruments, lifting a tote bag from amongst the cases. “So, I was obviously out today doing errands.” She began, walking back over and sitting down on the edge of the chair Luke lounged in, the boy smiling up at her as she did. “But I made a little pitstop.” Her hands reached into the bag, her tongue sticking out as she felt around the canvas, quickly pulling out a square box. “Reggie.” She said with a grin, handing over the present to the boy, whose eyes had lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He lifted the box’s lid off slowly.

“No way!” He yelled, lifting the device out the box with care, Luke and Alex leaning over to see what it was.

“I know you’ve been using one you bought at the flea market when we were 13 for years, and I thought… Well, you only get a first time playing the Orpheum once. Thought you should try it out on a new bass pedal… That also works with the banjo.” She smiled, looking back in the bag and pulling out the second gift as Reggie marvelled at the item in his hands. “Alex.” She called, throwing the next gift to the blond boy, who already had a feeling what might be inside the long, thin box.

“How much did you spend on this stuff, Y/N?” Luke asked as Alex lifted out a set of drumsticks, twirling one through his fingers and grinning from ear to ear as he noticed the engraving on them.

“Sunset Curve…” He said softly, showing the engraving on the butt of the sticks to Reggie. “Thanks Y/N.”

“Bobby can get his later, serves him right for flirting and not joining in on band bonding time so…” Y/N sat one of the gifts on the table before pulling the final present from her bag, an envelope with ‘Sunset Curve’ in cursive on the front.

“Y/N… How much did you spend on this?” Luke asked with a frown. He wasn’t the best at math, but he knew working part time at a diner did not cover the cost of a top-grade bass pedal and personalised drumsticks, plus whatever she had bought Bobby.

“Yours just took effort, Patterson.” She said with a smile, and Luke raised an eyebrow. “I worked some extra shifts, ok? Now open your goddamn present or I’ll take it back!” She exclaimed, reaching out to snatch the gift back, put Luke held just out of her reach.

“I’ll open it! I’ll open it, alright?!” Luke yelled as Y/N reached over him, stretching for the envelope. “But if you take any more extra shifts, I will personally come into that crappy diner and carry you out.” He warned, and Y/N sat back down, her hands tucked between her knees as Luke’s fingers tore open the paper. He tipped the envelope rip-side down, a letter falling onto his lap. Luke lifted it up to inspect closer.

“What is it?” Alex asked, Reggie still engrossed in his own present to notice the expression of shock on Luke’s face as he turned to a beaming Y/N.

“Is this real?” He asked, looking up at her. Y/N nodded quickly, and within an instant Luke had stood up and lifted her off the ground, spinning her as he hugged her by the waist, Y/N letting out a squeal as her best friend spun her around.

“Ok, why is it that Y/N gets hugs without even asking?!” Alex asked, receiving a middle finger from their lead guitarist, and prompting Reggie to walk over with his arms open. “Don’t touch me.”

“Well, this is why no-one hugs you.” Reggie muttered, and Luke finally set Y/N down, passing the letter over to Reggie, Alex quickly at the bassist’s shoulder.

“Dear Miss Y/L/N. The demo album you recently sent to our label crossed my desk this afternoon.” Alex read aloud, Luke holding onto Y/N still. “Sunset Curve is exactly the new sound I’ve been looking for… Looking forward to seeing them live…” Alex skimmed through his narration, picking out the most important phrases. “Looking forward to meeting you, Chris Baxter.” He stopped, looking up at Y/N and Luke.

“For a second I thought that said Chris Baxter, like Fall Down Records Chris Baxter.” Reggie laughed, looking around to see Y/N, Luke and Alex staring at him. “Wait… Wait, wait, wait.”

“Y/N got Chris Baxter coming to our show.” Luke almost yelled from excitement, the realisation quickly dawning on his bandmates and causing them to race forward, engulfing Y/N in a hug, the poor girl trapped in the middle.

“Need… To tell… Bobby.” She muttered out, struggling to breathe, and the boys let her go. She grabbed their rhythm guitarist’s present from the table, pressing the letter to Luke’s chest as she left. “What would you guys do without me?” She asked with a grin, and Luke smiled right back, his eyes trailing after her as she rounded the corner out into the hallway.

“Watch out, Luke.” Reggie said after Y/N was gone, snapping his fingers in front of Luke’s face. “You were practically drooling all over my cousin there.”

“He was drooling, Reggie. Puppy dog eyes and everything.” Alex remarked with a cheeky grin, and Luke frowned at the pair.

“She’s my best friend.”

“So you’ve been saying for the past 6 years.” Reggie rolled his eyes, starting back on the trail mix.

“Because it’s true.” Luke stated, his eyebrows gathering close, and Alex let out a laugh.

“Keep telling yourself that… At this rate, Bobby is winning the bet.” The blond sighed.

“What bet?” Luke asked again, sitting back down, turning the letter over to re-read the words.

“Well, Alex said you two would be dating by 16. I said 18. Bobby said never. Whoever is closest wins.” Reggie said with a full mouth, and Luke sighed.

“She doesn’t like me like that. You both know that.” He said softly, running his fingers over the name printed on the letter: Chris Baxter.

She really was the best friend a guy could ask for.

Y/N’s night was nothing short of busy.

After presenting Bobby with his new Capo for his guitar, she found herself rushing around once more: to get herself ready in the backstage bathroom, slipping on one of the tops she had packed so carefully in tissue paper since Reggie decided to give her own shirt away, fixing her hair and makeup, slipping into a pair of shorts instead of the yoga pants she had been running about in earlier; to set up the merchandise stand at one of the booths with their albums and t-shirts ready to sell; to discuss timings with the front of house staff; to chat with the light crew and stage hands about special effects and a last minute draw up for one of the song’s, which involved a spotlight on Luke.

By the time people were filing in, Y/N had drunk three cups of coffee and downed four cans of Coca-Cola, knowing the worst thing she could do was burn out.

However, it all seemed to be worth it. The crowd was killer, with more people than Y/N could have ever imagined making their way into the Orpheum. It seemed to be bursting at the seams, and by the time the house lights were going down, Y/N had sold half of their t-shirt stock and two-thirds of the CDs, not to mention the chant that had started to get the boys on stage.

“Sunset Curve! Sunset Curve!” The crowd cheered, a few of the faces ones that Y/N recognised from school, some complete strangers, but all of them here to see the boys play. As another group of kids came up asking for t-shirts, the resonating sound of Reggie’s bass filled the air.

All attention turned to the stage as Y/N’s cousin walked on stage, beginning to pluck out an improved bass line, applause starting up as he placed his right foot down and the sound became more and more distorted: he was making quick use of his gift.

Bobby was next, joining in on a melody line for nothing in particular, walking on stage and sending a wink to the girls in the front that left one stumbling into her friends. His fingers were nimble on the strings, making the work put into the skill seem effortless, and the crowd began to clap along in time with the beat.

The claps brought in Alex, who sat himself down at the drum kit and started a steady bass, snare, hi-hat line, gulping down the lump in his throat as he looked out at the crowd, adrenaline taking over.

“Good evening Los Angeles!” He called into the mic, the crowd exploding into cheers and applause, the three members on stage sharing a smile. “Are you ready to rock?!” He asked, receiving a unanimous shout of ‘Yes!’ from the few hundred people that had crammed themselves into the venue.

For a moment, everything went dead silent, Alex, Reggie and Bobby halting their playing and leaving the crowd confused, only to then continue with the thunderous applause as Luke ran on stage, taking his position at front and centre as Alex tapped his new drumsticks together.

“One, two! One, two, three…”

The whole show flowed perfectly. The band started with ‘Now or Never’, moving quickly onto ‘Rest in Peace’ and ’The Anthem’, the second of which got the crowd jumping along as the boys sang together. The feeling in the crowd was electric, and as their third song of the night ended, Y/N was sold out of CDs and on the last of her t-shirts.

“Welcome, everyone, to the Orpheum!” Luke called into his mic, Y/N looking up at the stage as he began to speak. “It is such an honour to be playing here tonight, it really is, and before we continue, we just want to thank you all for listening and sharing in our music.” He called out, earning whistles and clapping from the crowd. “We’re slowing it down for this next one, we hope you enjoy… Unsaid Emily.” Luke announced, taking off his electric and switching it for the acoustic sat behind him. Y/N watched him as he fiddled with the capo, a plectrum between his teeth and his whole body shimmering with a thin layer of sweat, captivated by her friend so much it took a yell for her to tune back into reality.

“Sorry…” She apologised to the girls waiting, giving them the t-shirt prices and taking their cash with a smile.

“Do you know the band?” One asked, pulling her t-shirt over the clothes she was already wearing.

“Yeah, I do. In fact-” Y/N started, but was quickly cut off.

“Will you give Luke my number?” The second asked, handing over a scrap of paper to Y/N, who looked at the phone number with astonishment.

“And Bobby mine.” The first demanded, placing her scrap of paper atop the other in Y/N’s hand before they shoved their way to the front row. Y/N slipped the piece into her shorts pocket, serving the next customer as Luke began to sing, sitting himself down on the edge of the stage and serenading the same girls Y/N just met.

Another two songs later, one of them being Alex’s original ‘Coming Clean’, and Y/N had closed up the merchandise stand, allowing the audience to take over that booth while she made her way back stage. She swung her way round the stair bannister, breaking into a light jog to reach the wings, quickly attending to the guitars that needed re-stringed, and setting up the smoke machine for the final number, a song Luke had written only a week or so before called ‘Bright’.

“So here's your holiday.” Y/N looked up from the smoke machine as Reggie came to the last chorus of the song he wrote, their penultimate tune of the night, Luke harmonising with him. “Hope you enjoy it this time. You gave it all away, it was mine. So when you're dead and gone, will you remember this night? Twenty years now lost… It's not right.” The pair sang with Alex and Bobby on backing vocals, the crowd with their lighters in the air, swaying along as Bobby played the outro, Reggie running off-stage with the applause, busted bass in hand.

“Got a fresh bass, little cuz?” Reggie asked, taking a moment to catch his breath. Y/N tossed him a towel to wipe down his hands and face of sweat, tuning the last string on the second bass. The pair did an exchange, towel and bass guitar. “Fog machine ready?” Reggie asked, and Y/N gave a firm nod.

“Now get out there and seal the deal. I saw Baxter earlier.” Y/N explained, giving him a thumbs up as he ran back on stage, and she knelt down to start the fog machine as Bobby plucked out the opening chords of their closer, Luke coming close to his mic to sing.

“Sometimes I think I'm falling down, I wanna cry, I'm calling out for one more try to feel alive.” Luke sang, Reggie coming in with a mellow bass line. “And when I feel lost and alone I know that I can make it home. Fight through the dark and find the spark. Life is a risk, but I will take it, close my eyes and jump.” Alex started on a bass drum beat, building up to the chorus, and Luke glanced over into the wings, spotting Y/N. She smiled and waved, quickly giving him a thumbs up as he continued. “Together, I think that we can make it, c'mon let's run. And rise through the night, you and I we will fight to shine together, bright forever. And rise through the night, you and I we will fight to shine together, bright forever.” Luke and Reggie sang over the screams and cheers of the crowd, Y/N watching on from the wings with a grin, Luke glancing over at her for a second time as Bobby took the next verse.

And for a second, she could have sworn Luke winked at her.

Y/N found herself busied for the rest of the song, packing up guitars while she kept a watch on the fog machine in her peripheral, refusing to look back at the stage until she heard the song ending. At that point, she started taking things from the stage area to the hallway by the side entrance.

“We’re Sunset Curve! Tell your friends!” She heard the band shout in unison as they ended their show, the applause alone enough to make someone’s ears ring.

She kicked open the side door, fishing her car keys out her pocket before hearing a polite cough to her left.

“Need a hand?” A deep, male voice asked, and Y/N looked over to find the voice’s owner. “Maybe you could point me in the direction of Y/N Y/L/N afterwards?” The man suggested, taking two of the four instrument cases Y/N had in hand, allowing Y/N to unlock the car’s trunk and place in the guitars.

“Might I ask who you are?” She quizzed, walking back to the side door, and smiling as one of the employee’s brought along the fog machine for her. She quickly picked hit up and waddled out to the car with it, setting it in carefully.

“Chris Baxter.” Y/N slammed the trunk shut as he gave his name, turning to face him with a surprised smile.

“Wow… Y/N Y/L/N.” She held out a hand, the man taking it and shaking firmly. “It’s... It’s an honour to meet you, sir.” She started, but he waved it off with a smiling, their hands dropping.

“No, it’s an honour to meet you.” Chris countered. “You had some balls coming in last week with that demo…” Y/N went red at his words, scratching the back of her neck.

“Traditional methods weren’t working?” She laughed nervously, and Chris grinned.

“No, no they weren’t. But blasting the album on a boom box in my record label’s HQ was certainly a risqué move, Miss Y/L/N.” He almost reminded her that her stunt the week before was a one-off thing, and Y/N nodded in agreement: she would never be doing that again.

“You did what?” Luke asked from the doorway, the four boys staring at her and Chris Baxter in shock, and her eyes widened, the girl quickly changing the subject.

“Sunset Curve, Chris Baxter from Fall Down Records. Chris Baxter, meet Bobby, Reggie, Alex and Luke.” She introduced, Chris walking forward and shaking each boy’s hand, unphased by their dishevelled and sweaty appearances.

“That show was… Absolutely terrific. I’ve already listened to the album three times this past week, and I didn’t know how you could top the sounds on that, but you all clearly can.” Chris complimented as he went down the line.

“The boys are, above all else, a live band.” Y/N chipped in with a nervous smile, begging the boys to say something, anything.

“Mr Baxter, thank you so much for coming.” Alex came back to reality first. “Your work with Pink Floyd on the Dark Side album was incredible.” He said with a smile, and Chris smiled back.

“I’m quite proud of that one, so thank you. And please, call me Chris.” He dropped the formality quickly. “Look, I won’t keep you. After a gig like that, you should all be out celebrating. I just wanted to say well done, and ask if a meeting next Monday would work for all of you? My label would be interested in signing you on, and of course you’ll be meeting with other teams… I just wanted to get right in there, show you all what we can offer.” Chris was blunt, straight to the point, and it caught them all off-guard.

“Did you just say…” Reggie trailed off from the shock.

“A record deal? With Fall Down?” Luke clarified, still rather astonished by whatever Y/N had done to get the biggest record label head on the West Coast to come to their concert.

“Hopefully more than one record, but yes.” Chris grinned, and Reggie had to nudge Bobby from his shock induced freeze.

“Next Monday is free for all of us, Chris.” Y/N stepped in, realising the guys wouldn’t do much good. “Shall we say 2.30?” She suggested, and Chris nodded, his hands going back into his coat pockets as he started on his way out the alley.

“You know where my office is, Miss Y/L/N.” He called back, four pairs of eyes landing on the girl as she took a shaky breath.

“You just…” Reggie started, but couldn’t find the words.

“Chris Baxter…” Bobby muttered.

“Best manager ever.” Alex assured.

“We did it…” Luke said softly, looking around his friends with wild eyes. “We played the Orpheum!” He yelled to the sky. The boys and Y/N soon joined in the shout, hugs shared amongst the team before they bundled together in a group hug, bouncing from the excitement.

“We need to celebrate properly. Tattoos?” Bobby suggested, to the delight of Reggie and the worry of Alex.

“The club on 6th?” Alex offered instead, and Y/N smiled as the boys tried to come up with a plan for their night out, slipping passed them back inside to collect the last of their belongings. The drum kit and amps would be a job for the morning, but everything else had to go, and as quickly as possible.

Where the guys were messy, Y/N was efficient and clean: the dressing room went from a bomb site to sparkling clean in a matter of minutes, which she packed into one of the boxes as a chap came on the door.

“Uh, Y/N?” The girl turned to see Rose, the bartender, stood in the doorway. “Tell the guys I loved the show. These,” she passed over a small bundle of cards no bigger than a credit card. “are for you. Record label execs, as Luke called them.” She explained, and the pair shared a giggle.

“Thank you Rose, I was just about to find you.” Y/N explained, slipping the cards into her back pocket. Rose left with a smile and a wave, allowing Y/N to head back out to the car, only to find that Alex, Reggie and Bobby had all seemed to have disappeared.

“Thought you could use the company.” Luke grinned, lifting the boxes that weighed Y/N down with ease, quickly slipping them into the back seat of her car.

“Luke, you should be out on the town, celebrating.” Y/N insisted, a hand gesturing to Sunset Boulevard and beyond, but Luke caught the hand in his.

“I’d rather help you out. I know for a fact you won’t let yourself have fun until everything is done tonight, and I have enough energy to power a jet plane.” Luke offered his assistance as his leg bounced and his hand locked with Y/N’s before he spun her under his arm. “Please?”

“Get in, Luke.” She responded with a happy sigh as she opened the driver’s side door, Luke bouncing so much on his way round to his side of the car Y/N wondered if he might have eaten a kangaroo by mistake.

“Do you want to stop for burgers?” He asked as they both got in, Y/N looking over at him with a smile and shake of the head, starting the car and following the alley to its exit.

“I swear to God Luke, you don’t stop eating.” She commented, but six years of friendship had made it blatant fact rather than speculation. “Are you sure you want to help me unload all this crap? You should be out with the guys doing something stupid.” She said, starting the short drive back to her house. She only lived a ten-minute drive from the Orpheum, though it never seemed like it. Her house was in the suburbs, tucked away at the end of a cul-de-sac away from prying eyes, and the change from city lights and gum-decorated sidewalk to perfectly-cut front lawns and uniform cherry blossoms trees along the road front made the drive feel like they were entering a completely different world.

“The quicker we do this, the quicker we both get to go out.” Luke shrugged, unable to stop his leg bouncing. “Music, can we at least put on some music?” He asked, opening Y/N’s glove compartment and rummaging through her CD collection. He quickly lifted a disk out and slotted it into the player, fiddling with the control panel of the car as Y/N tried to focus on the road.

The song came on as Luke watched Y/N with a smile, just waiting for her to connect the dots and respond to his song choice. It only took a few chords for her to get it, slowing at a stop light to quite clearly roll her eyes at Luke, who then decided to start singing to her.

“Left a good job in the city, working for the man every night and day. And I never lost one minute of sleeping, worrying about the way things might have been.” Luke put on the twang of the Creedence Clearwater Revival singer, throwing an arm around the back of her seat and leaning over to sing to Y/N, who was doing her best not to smile. “Big wheels keep on turning, Proud Mary keep on burning.” Luke sang right in her ear, and Y/N couldn’t help the giggles from erupting in her as she made one of their journey’s last turns. “And we’re rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river.”

“Cleaned a lotta plates in Memphis,” Y/N reluctantly joined in.

“Yes Y/N!” Luke yelled.

“Pumped a lotta pane down in New Orleans. But I never saw the good side of the city, until I hitched a ride on a river boat queen.” She sang along, pulling onto her road.

“Big wheels keep on turnin’, Proud Mary keep on burning.” They sang together, pulling into Y/N’s driveway but staying in the car. “Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river.” The sang in harmony, before both brought up air guitars to play the iconic riff together.

“Ba da dum, ba da dum, ba da da da da duhda da dum!” They cried out, both in fits of laughter as Y/N shut the car off, the only light nearby being through the windows of the garage.

“Guess that nonna is fast asleep then.” She said with a smile at her home, the lights all shut off. She glanced at Luke, who was wiping tears from his eyes. “You stay quiet, alright? That woman deserves her rest.” Y/N scolded pre-emptively, and the boy held his hands up in surrender.

“I love your nonna! I won’t wake her, mainly because she lets me stay in your garage.” He pointed out, and Y/N smirked, the pair getting out the car in unison. Luke ran to open the garage doors while Y/N headed for the trunk, lifting out a few guitar cases. Despite the weight of them making her posture sag and her hands hurt, she strode towards the garage, liking the idea of finishing the mundane as quickly as possible: not so much for a night out in LA, rather for some more time with her friends.

“You know, I can’t-” Y/N started to speak as she walked past Luke, setting down the guitars and beginning to sort them into their allotted spaces in the room, only to look back and find the boy frozen. “Oh, right…” She mumbled, forgetting that this was meant to be a surprise for him and Alex later.

Amongst other things, and while the boys stayed over at Bobby’s the night before to get in a last night of practice before the Orpheum gig, Y/N had ventured into the garage to start loading her car, only to be met by cobwebs on their equipment and excessive layers of dust on every surface. She was in the garage a lot, sure, but most of the time she was popping in and out to hear new songs or tell the guys about a new gig she had booked them. And with Alex and Luke spending a lot of time in her house, quite happy to keep her nonna company over lunch with songs and idle chatter, Y/N hadn’t been properly in the garage for a while…

What Luke was gazing upon was an entirely new room from the one he left the day before: the single lightbulb that had lit the place the day before was gone, replaced by string lights that looped around the walls of the room; with surfaces dusted and polished, their clothes neatly folded into a chest of drawers Y/N had brought in, the musical instruments hung up on the walls alongside posters of the boys’ favourite artists. The windows had been cleaned, the floors hoovered and bearing a rug Y/N had found in her attic, Luke’s sofa bed sporting freshly made sheets, Alex’s blow up in the corner in a similar state, an extension of her house’s landline sitting atop one of the shelves…

And a mini fridge installed…

“When did you… How did you…” Luke stuttered in disbelief, Y/N walking back round him to continue unloading the car. “The lights and the guitars and…” Luke tried to start again, falling short of what exactly to say, just watching his best friend walk by and store things in their new locations. When he had asked to couch surf all those months ago, when she had replied without hesitation, Luke didn’t expect much. Then she offered the garage as a full-time hub for the band, and offered Alex a place to stay after coming out to his parents went even worse than expected.

And looking at what she had done, how she had turned the dusty garage into something more, into a home… He was amazed by the girl before him.

“Y/N.” He stopped her for making her last trip to the car, a hand on her arm. The girl looked up and smiled at him, and he smiled right back. “Thank you…”

“Anything for you, you know that.” She replied, meaning the words. It had been the same way since they were kids. “Get yourself a soda, check the voicemail. It’s the number I’ve been giving everyone who wanted to speak with Sunset Curve.” She explained, making her last trip out to the car for the smoke machine and a few loose items. Luke did as he was told, grabbing two cans out of the fridge and glancing over at the phone.

6 new voicemails…

“This… This is crazy.” Luke muttered, cracking open the can of orange soda and sitting on the coffee table as Y/N put the last of their things away, coming to stand in front of him. He handed up a can, which she took with a smile, joining him in taking a sip.

“Crazy is the right word, yes… But it’s exactly what you guys deserve.” Y/N said softly, ruffling his hair before starting a walk around the room.

“I know but… this is crazy. We have a meeting with Chris Baxter, Y/N! All because of you!” Luke jumped up onto the coffee table, standing tall and spinning around. “We have a shot at actually… Actually making this stupid idea work!” He said with a laugh of astonishment.

“Luke, you and the guys earned every bit of this. You are all amazing, and Chris Baxter would be an idiot not to sign you.” Y/N reminded him with a smile, and Luke held a hand out to her. She took it, getting up beside him on the table. “To Sunset Curve.” She proposed, raising her can of soda.

“To making crazy daydreams reality.” Luke offered back, the pair clinking their drinks together. “You know, we should keep this up. Do more crazy stuff tonight! I mean, we’ve been lucky so far.” He suggested, the sugar quickly mixing with his adrenaline and getting the boy hyped up once more.

“What do you have in mind, Patterson? I can drive us along to the club on 6th, the guys are probably still there. Or get us a taxi?” She suggested, coming down from the table and heading over to top drawer of the cabinet the mini fridge sat on, not noticing that Luke’s eyes had settled onto her. “Look! Red Vines!” She showed him with a grin, taking one out the packet and chewing on it thoughtfully. “You know, tattoos don’t sound so stupid now that I think about it.”

“No, Y/N… I mean doing something really stupid.” Luke said softly, and Y/N smiled up at him, oblivious to what Luke actually meant.

“What? You want to go cliff diving? Reggie would be up for it.” She grinned, and Luke felt the breath leave his body.

He wasn’t sure if it was the soda sugar rush, or the adrenaline from the show, or some subconscious death wish, but Luke couldn’t stop himself from jumping off the coffee table, couldn’t stop himself from walking towards Y/N. She was so beautiful, so kind, so sweet, so funny… His best friend…

And Luke took her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers.

It was chaste, his touch disappearing just as Y/N was about to fall prey to her senses being completely invaded by Luke’s presence, her lips and cheeks tingling from where he had held her, her pupils blown from the shock, the attraction. She had never thought he would have liked her like that, but as he stepped back, surprised by his own recklessness, Y/N wondered why she hadn’t thought of him like that before.

In fact, as they stared at each other from across the room, both recovering from Luke’s actions, all she could think about was the past near seven years of friendship: every hug and hand hold, every joke cracked and song sung to cheer one another up. Her mind raced with memories of their road trip around California the summer before with the band, to their friend dates on the pier, to nights in the house or the garage, spending time with her nonna and Alex and Reggie. The nights they’d sleep over at each other’s houses, or the camping trip the guys and her went on at 15, the night she and Luke stayed up and named constellations in the middle of nowhere.

Suddenly, she was filled with an overwhelming sense of idiocy: because she had quite happily mistook her romantic feelings for her best friend as platonic… For years.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Luke muttered, running a worried hand through his hair, trying to read his friend’s expression, to gauge some sort of reaction. “Fuck…” He said under his breath.

“Don’t be sorry…” Y/N responded softly after a moment, and Luke’s eyes met hers. “One of us had to make the first move, right?” She added nervously, wondering for a moment if it had just been a stupid, heat of the moment, action.

“You’re not mad?” He clarified, taking a step closer, and another. Y/N moved towards him too, lifting his hand in hers and interlocking their fingers, admiring the way his hand held hers, the callouses on his fingertips feeling smooth and firm as they brushed over her knuckles.

“Not one bit.” She promised, looking up at him their hands breaking apart, Luke’s hands dropping to her waist, travelling under her shirt to hold her bare skin like they had a mind of their own.

“Good… Because I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” Luke admitted with a shaky breath out. There was a pause, both double checking with the other they were sure of their actions before Luke’s and Y/N’s lips found one another again.

There was an element of it that felt forbidden, the unspoken rules the pair had laid out for their friendship must have had a subsection that clearly stated something like this could not happen, but neither cared. The kiss was hungry, sweet, borderline desperate as they stumbled backwards and Y/N’s back hit one of the support beams for the loft space, rooting them in place as Y/N’s hands moved from his chest to his neck, her fingers finding their way into the back of Luke’s hair. It was still damp to the touch with sweat, his skin smooth and near silky against her fingertips.

All Luke could smell, feel, taste, touch, was Y/N. Her perfume mixed with the smell of her shampoo had short-circuited his brain, her lips on his had him feeling lightheaded, the way her fingers in his hair pulled him closer had him lifting her legs up and holding her up against the beam by her thighs.

“This is so stupid…” Y/N muttered as she pulled away to catch her breath, eyes fluttering open to view Luke, his attention taking focus on the crook of her neck as he pressed a kiss to the soft skin. Her heart was thudding, ringing in her ears louder than anything she had heard Alex play, and as a whimper passed by her lips without permission in response to Luke’s attention, she was sure he could feel the erratic pace against her chest.

“Really fucking stupid…” Luke agreed with a smirk, looking up at her with nearly black eyes, only a thin ring of green around pupil left. “If you want me to stop, tell me now…” He said, his hands moving up the back of her thighs to the hem of the shorts she had decided on that night. “Or now…” He offered, pressing his lips to her collarbone, following them up until his mouth found her sweet spot and earned a moan from the girl in his arms. “Or now?”

“You’re an asshole Luke…” Y/N muttered, taking his face in her hands and pressing her lips to his, shutting him up with a swipe of her tongue that had Luke’s mouth opening and giving in to her lips, her mouth, quite happily.

When Y/N’s hands found the way to the hem of Luke’s shirt, the guitarist walked them over to the sofa bed on the other side of the room, breaking the kiss to make sure he didn’t run into the coffee table. He pulled a face as he dodged the room centre piece, and Y/N burst into a fit of giggles that Luke challenged by dropping her onto the bed.

The action wasn’t the only thing that left Y/N breathless though, biting her lip as Luke pulled off the sleeveless tee Y/N had been tugging on only moments earlier. She had forgotten for a moment that when Luke wasn’t play music, he was working out, and had to take a second to register his toned body that matched his arms.

“Liking what you see, Y/L/N?” Luke grinned as he teased her, and Y/N pursed her lips, glaring him down playfully before deciding to join in on the game.

“You’re not the only one who looks good naked, Patterson.” She countered, and though she wasn’t quite sure she believed the words, she was on a high and wasn’t planning on slowing do whatever had begun. She quickly pulled off her top, throwing the white tee with the band’s name printed across the front to the floor by the bed and holding herself up on her arms as she leaned back a little, a plain white bralette beneath. Luke’s mouth went dry at the sight of her topless, his jeans quickly became tight, and he actually found himself blushing.

“Seems you’re right there…” He breathed out, leaning over her, one hand giving him balance as the other lifted her chin and brought his lips to hers. An open-mouthed kiss, Luke’s tongue was gentle yet demanding, taking control of the kiss as Y/N found herself lying back on the fresh sheets, and Luke found himself on top of her.

She wanted him, and in that moment nothing else seemed to matter. It was like everything else disappeared as her body melted into his: the only sounds she heard were his groans and her whimpers; all she could feel was the cool cotton beneath her and Luke’s rough hand against her flushed face; all she could smell was sweat and his cologne, taste the orange soda that lingered on their lips.

“You’re killing me here, Y/N…” Luke muttered through ragged breath as he pulled away, sitting back on his knees, kneeling. Her thumbs had found themselves running along the waistband on his jeans. “Have… Have you done anything like this before?” He asked.

It was clear exactly where this was headed.

“Not all the way… No.” Y/N said softly, her breathing a step short of hyperventilation, but Luke was very much the same. They both had experience, they had both dated in the past. Hell, Luke and Alex were even a thing for a while.

“Ok, so we’re in the same boat then.” Luke nodded with a gulp, and Y/N raised an eyebrow, moving to mirror his sitting position, inching closer.

“What about the red head? Last summer? Hayley?” Y/N quizzed, and Luke let out a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah… You were going out with that Nathan guy… Might have lied a little bit about what happened with her…” Luke admitted, and Y/N threw her head back laughing. In retrospect, it had made her rather jealous.

“Good to know...” She nodded as she spoke, coming down from the laughter, the pair falling silent for a moment. “You know… We do this, and everything changes.”

“I know…” Luke said softly, sharply intaking as Y/N’s hands came back to his jeans’ waistband.

Her hands made quick work of the belt, Y/N looking up at Luke as she unbuttoned and dragged down the zipper on his jeans, the material sitting slack on his hips. He stood up at the foot of the bed, Y/N not hesitating to push the material down past his knees, the clothing quickly pooling at his feet atop his sneakers.

“Shit, I forgot about shoes.” Luke whispered, trying to slip off his sneakers with his feet, only to stumble back and have Y/N quickly catch him by the waist before he fell over. “Shit! Sorry! Sorry…” He laughed out, managing to get off his shoes and jeans as Y/N quickly got her own mismatched converse off. “I feel like you’re wearing more clothes than me.” Luke said softly, looking her over as he strained against his boxers.

“Maybe you could help change that?” Y/N wasn’t quite sure where the sexual confidence was coming from, but she lay back on the bed, her head landing on the pillows as she looked down the bed at Luke.

“Uh huh… Yep. Definitely.” He nodded, his jaw slack as he got back on the bed, his hands coming to the button of her jean shorts and taking off the denim at record speed, revealing a pair of high cut panties that matched the white bralette covering her chest. “Fuck me…” Luke muttered.

“That’s the plan, handsome.” Y/N grinned back, and Luke took his eyes off her body to look into her eyes, to look at her smile and the way she held herself and how she looked at him the way he always wanted her to look at him.

“This has to be heaven.” He smirked, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her cheek before reaching out to the side table to the couch’s right, opening one of the drawers and lifting out condom from an inconspicuous looking box.

“Not quite, but we’re getting there.” Y/N smiled sweetly, taking a moment to undo her bra and let it fall onto her lap, discarding it and her underwear as Luke rid himself of his boxers and slipped into the condom. “Are you nervous? I’m kinda nervous.” She admitted, and Luke leaned forward to kiss her again, gentle and soft. Whatever anxiety she had vanished as his lips touched hers, and with a nod for Luke to continue, her best friend moved onto the bed, his length lined up with her entrance.

As he pushed past Y/N’s folds, slowly but surely completely filling her, Luke let out a string of groans and curse words, all intertwined. He wasn’t alone in it, Y/N muttering her fair share of choice language as she became accustomed to his size, the slight pinch of pain she felt disappearing and being replaced with pleasure as her inner walls clenched around Luke’s member.

“Jesus…” Luke muttered, his breathing heavy, doing his very best not to ruin the moment by cumming from just the sight of Y/N below him, naked, moaning because of him. “Does that feel alright?” He asked, and Y/N nodded.

“You can move now.” She whispered, bringing his lips to her as Luke pulled out and started a slow and steady pace, filling her with each thrust. Y/N moaned his name into his ear, her hands threading into his hair once more as the pace picked up, only prompting them both to get a little louder.

The benefits of soundproofing the studio.

“Fuck Luke…” Y/N muttered, breathing heavier by the minute, her stomach forming into knots, tight and tighter in her abdomen as Luke’s thrusts became deeper.

The whole thing was slow and sweat: the heat outside only made the garage warmer, Luke’s forehead soon sporting a layer of sweat that had his hair sticking to it. Y/N’s fingers wrapped around and dug into his bicep as he rocked into her, the rolls of their hips synchronising and make for more pleasure shared.

It felt like a dream, for both of them. Luke never thought he would ever have Y/N as more than a friend, regardless of how he felt, never thought the goofiness and over-confident demeanour that had attracted her to him platonically would have ever translated to… This. Y/N had seen the girls and guys Luke dated, and while she wasn’t one to compare herself to others often, she realised she never made a move because she had never been Luke’s type before.

“Y/N…” Luke whispered, his own high fast approaching. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Y/N’s collarbone, nipping at the skin until it bruised, smirking at every moan he managed to elicit in response.

“Shit, Luke… I-” Before she could finish speaking, Y/N threw her head back into the pillows and let out a whimpering moan, her grip on Luke’s bicep tightening as the tension that had built in her stomach finally released in the form of euphoria, waves of pleasure tightening her core and leaving Luke to its whim as he moaned out her name, struggling to hold himself up as he spilled into the condom. They stayed like that for a moment, both breathing heavy and looking into one another’s eyes.

They had just had sex… Both admitted feelings of attraction…

The flash of headlights and the sound of a car rolling up had both of them freezing for a second before Luke quickly pulled out, Y/N scrambling to locate her clothes as Luke tied off the condom and binned it before finding his jeans. He tossed her over her t-shirt while she threw back his underwear, the sound of the boys’ voices quickly approaching the garage.

Y/N glanced down at the state of herself, opting to press a kiss to Luke’s cheek before disappearing into the bathroom to finish getting ready, leaving the guitarist to deal with his band.

“I swear to God, I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Alex said with a sigh as he opened up the garage doors to reveal Luke sat on the bed, fixing his shoes. “Wow…” He muttered, and for a moment Luke thought it was in judgement, that he and Y/N had been made immediately. But Reggie, Bobby and Alex walked into the room and started investigating the new layout, and Luke remembered than not an hour, he had been doing the same thing.

“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Reggie said with a proud smile, and Luke fixed his shoe on before getting up. “Luke, where’s Y/N?”

“Right here.” Y/N answered, walking out the bathroom with her makeup and hair fixed, and fully dressed. Luke smiled over at her, and she smiled back before turning her attention back to the guys. “What, the club on 6th realise your IDs were fake?” She asked, and Reggie started nodding before Bobby slapped his arm.

“I’ve convinced Alex of the tattoo idea. But we can’t go without the two of you. We’ve got a taxi waiting outside.” Bobby explained, Alex shrugging in defeat.

“I suppose they’d look cool.” He said with a smile.

“Awesome! I’ll meet you in the car, just got to grab my bag… And fake ID.” Y/N said with a smile, Bobby and Reggie running out to the car as she quickly grabbed her stuff. Alex turned to go, stopping at the door and turning to look back at his friends, to look at the messed up bed, noticing the red on Luke’s arm.

“You alright, man?” Luke asked, the guitarist putting a hand on Alex’s shoulder as Y/N glanced over, the blond getting a distinct whiff of a sweet smell from Luke…

Y/N’s perfume.

“Oh my God, you guys slept together.” He muttered, the two freezing.

“Alex…” Luke started: it hadn’t been more than two years since they had dated, and a part of him worried more than one friendship was ending that night because of what he and Y/N had just done.

“You’re crazy to think-” Y/N chipped in, but was cut off by Alex letting out a yell.

“YES!” He shouted, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Finally!!” He grinned, and Luke and Y/N took a joint sigh of relief.

“Wait-” Luke started, but Alex was already gone to share the news with Bobby and Reggie.

“Bobby, you owe Reggie $50.” The pair could hear Alex calling, met by gasps and grumbles from beyond the door. Luke and Y/N laughed as Alex left, but as it died out, they were surrounded by silence.

Neither was sure what to say, neither wanting to stay in the silence.

“Luke-” Y/N said softly, looking up as he walked across the room and pressed his lips to hers. His hands pulled her close by the waist, her hands holding onto his shirt, pulled up to her tiptoes.

“I think we should talk a bit more about what we want to be… We don’t have to do it right away, but I don’t think that this was a mistake… Or stupid.” Luke whispered as he pulled away, Y/N responding by taking one of his hands and interlocking their fingers with a smile.

“I think that sounds like a great idea.” She responded, letting her best friend, her something more, lead her out to the awaiting taxi, to their friends, with a smile on his face and joy in his voice.

Y/N Y/L/N was used to being overlooked by people, but in that moment, under the glare of headlights and with Luke’s hand in hers, with his kiss on her lips and her image in his eyes…

She had never felt more seen.

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