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#first of all I was like. 15 then. and the past 2 years put me through wayyyy too much character development
zepskies · 1 day
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Podcast Interview With Idling in the Impala: "Y/N and Let Y/N…"
Here we go! Sandra and Kasey, the lovely hosts of @idlingintheimpalapodcast — the podcast for all things SPN and fanfiction — invited me on the pod for an interview…
We chatted about Dean Winchester and Jensen Ackles’ early roles, the best and worst seasons of SPN, the joys and pains of writing Soldier Boy, and much, much more.
That’s right, there be some hot takes coming in this convo, and I had an absolute blast with these two! (And like I said in Sunday's announcement, I’m also putting my name and my voice out there for the first time! 😆)
So if any of that sounds interesting, feel free to dive in!
(**Important Note: Just to preface, we recorded this back in June, so it was before I posted certain stories or even started developing Lost on You. It was also when Tumblr activity/engagement was going through a spring/summer slowdown lol.
Links to all the fics and podfics we mentioned are at the end of this post.)
Have a listen: ⤵️
youtube
Interview Timestamps –
(Plus fic recs, SPN writer shoutouts, and more!)
1:44 – Who’s your guy: Sam or Dean?
3:35 – Getting into Supernatural for the first time (and seeing “Deanisms” in Jensen’s early roles).
10:15 – We debate the best and worst seasons of SPN: talking Mary Winchester, the British MOL, MOC Dean vs. Demon Dean, Chuck/God villainy, “jump the shark” moments, and that ending.
30:29 – Favorite SPN characters besides Sam and Dean.
32:34 – Writing fanfiction, joining Tumblr, and writing reader inserts vs. OCs.
38:05 – To “Y/N” or not “Y/N,” and the power of 2nd person. (**Disclaimer: Despite my hot take on this, I’ve loved a lot of stories by authors who use Y/N in reader insert stories.
Also, if I’m remembering the book You and its characters incorrectly forgive me, it’s been like 5 years since I read it lol.) 
51:00 – Favorite fanfic tropes in romance, the joys and challenges of writing Soldier Boy (AKA: the Original Asshole), and attempting to humanize Ben in Break Me Down.
Shoutout to @deans-spinster-witch always for giving me the inspiration to write BMD. 💚
Why We Love The Boys – A review of Supes Ain’t Always Heroes
1:07:57 – Engaging with readers, tips on increasing engagement, optimizing your Tumblr blog, writing schedules and processes, and incorporating reader feedback into stories.
1:26:38 – Sandra graciously narrated Midnight Espresso (Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader). We chat about what sparked the idea for the ME-verse, self-representation in fanfic, feeding Dean, loving Dean, and writing about culture and ethnicity in the fandom space.
1:38:26 – Chatting about the inspirations behind Smoke Eater, a firefighter!Dean AU; law enforcement procedurals, House MD, and researching for stories.
1:44:30 – Which Jackles character is the easiest or most fun to write?
1:47:39 – The challenges of writing Sam vs. Dean.
1:53:15 – Shoutouts! To some of my favorite SPN authors. I could only remember a few people off the top of my head (stupid me), but I love all of you!!
@waynes-multiverse @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @luci-in-trenchcoats @rizlowwritessortof @waywardxwords
@deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @deanwritings @spnbabe67 @thatonewriter15
@justagirlinafandomworld @kaleldobrev @artyandink @princessmisery666 @wayward-dreamer (– and many more.)
2:00:40 – How I came up with my username.
2:05:04 – Kasey’s Secret Question…
2:07:38 – Advice to fanfic writers and creatives for inspiration and/or wisdom.
2:16:35 – Sandra and Kasey’s lovely outro: self-representation in fandom, escapism, diverse voices, and more. (“Reach out a hand. Touch somebody. …Not like that.”)
📖 Fics Mentioned:
Sandra: @talltalesandbedtimestories -
Some Sunny Day Series – Dean Winchester x OFC - (I'm in the process of reading this entire series and it's been a joy to read! 💜)
Past Due – Dean Winchester x Reader
The Iceman Cometh – Dean Winchester x Reader
Cowboy Canter (Original Fiction) – Inspired by cowboyish Dean/Jensen.
Kasey: @sam-is-my-safe-word -
English Cottage-verse – Sam Winchester x Reader (I've read it and it's fantastic! 💜)
(K)not for sale – Soldier Boy x Dean Winchester
Alex (Zep/Me) -
Break Me Down – Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader
Midnight Espresso (& the Series Masterlist) – Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader
Dream With Me – Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader
Smoke Eater – Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader
Every Second Counts – Russell Shaw x F. Reader
🎙️ Stories/Podfics Sandra has narrated for me:
Podfic Playlist
And please remember to check out all the other awesome interviews, narrated podfics, and fun topics covered by Sandra and Kasey on the Idling in the Impala Podcast!
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maddy-ferguson · 25 days
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shows i've watched the most:
4. new girl (x7)
3. teen wolf (x4-11 depending on the season)
2. glee (x8)
1. gilmore girls (x16.5)
i don't know why i wrote it like this because i don't know where i should actually put teen wolf
#just letting you know#and like i say: brf slt#i'm in the midst of my 17th gilmore girls rewatch. watch. my 16th rewatch#i've actually also seen mtv scream 7 times that's crazy#it's only two seasons like 22 episodes so it feels very different the others are all over 100 episodes#(well no teen wolf is exactly 100 episodes)#that's why i'm not putting it. i didn't even think of it i just remembered it and checked...but i'm telling you now#with teen wolf it's like. i rewatched it every december from 2019 to last year last year was my last rewatch i think i made a post about it#and the first time after i was done with season 6 i was like i want to rewatch the first seasons so bad they're so fun so i did that i#watched the first three seasons again and then there's years where i rewatched everything once and then season 3 again and i really don't#fuck with season 6 so at one point i was like why am i putting myself through this. i can literally stop doing this it doesn't even matter#i've already seen it plus i'm watching season 3 again after that anyway#i think the only other show i've seen more than twice is grey's anatomy? not in full but there's a lot of episodes from the first 10 season#s#i've seen 3 to 4 times. for all my other shows it's probably only 2 times#wait lie i've seen all of stranger things more than 3 times. but it's so short and i've seen season 1 a lot more than i've seen season 4#and that's obviously also the case for tw but it's not the same...there's only like 35 episodes or however many there are#there aren't even 35 episodes there's 34#i've seen season 1 six times. which isn't 'a lot more than how many times i've seen 4 if i've seen all of them more than 3 times'.#ngl. i actually don't know how many times i've seen a lot of teen wolf episodes like these are my numbers on tvst but i actually can't#count so i have to trust my past self who also couldn't count. but if it's not 4-11 it's 4-10 or 4-12 idk...there's episodes i've seen 15#times it happens#it hasn't happened for any other show it's just tw and gilmore girls. but they're so different i never watch just one gilmore girls episode#by itself. except twenty-one is the loneliest number when i turned 21#actually my most rewatched teen wolf episode is probably closer to 20 than it is to 15. and you would never guess what it is. it's#insatiable! i love it. hold still don't fight hold still <- only real insatiableheads will understand this#insatiable probably taught me the word insatiable both in french and in english i was like 13#i hope you won't judge me for being a wolfie🙏
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myname-isnia · 5 months
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I’ve written myself into an angst hole so fucking deep that I’m immensely glad I won’t be the one who’ll have to get the characters out of it
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sinning-23 · 5 months
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Hot Tatted Uncles (Uncle!SukunaAu X Teacher!Reader)
I’ve fallen victim to the unkuna/uncle sukuna au so HAVE THIS
PART 2 UP NOW!!! <------- Click the link here!
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“My uncle be fighting people.” Yuji hums, your gaze immediately shooting to the toddler.
“O-Oh really?” You gulp, knowing kids say the wildest things but after you’re first encounter with the pink-hair boy's uncle, you would put it past him.
“Yeah, he. He told me uh-um-.” The boy sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, to which you sigh and directed him to the sink as he continues his story
“Uh- he told me that he beat up this guy and he- uh he won and that the guy lost.”
You fight the urge to laugh, his sentence seeming so long and incomplete. Typical toddler.
“Well we don’t fight our friends right Yuji? You be good and keep your hands to yourself?” You encourage, ruffling the boy's hair as he smiles, one of the fronts missing.
“Yeah! We use nice hands.” Yuji repeats, leaving you with your thoughts as he grabs ahold of a car to play with.
Why would you tell a 2-year-old you beat someone up?! You sigh, scrolling through your contacts, making a note to speak with his father, even though the boy hadn't done anything, it's still concerning that he might feel as if that’s okay since his uncle does it.
It’s quiet for a moment, your other three students Nobara, Megumi, and Mahito playing together….and then it happens.
WHAM!
A still silence falls over the room and soon a roar of cries as Mahito holds the top of his head. In all honestly the child was a problem so whatever he did to get smacked over the head with a wooden block was probably warranted. But the bigger problem was that you biggest fear had come to fruition. Yuji, had hit and essentially started to fight with another child, as Mahito had hit him back. You’d definitely need to speak to his father now.
The rest of the children had gone home now, Yuji being your last child as you closed your classroom down. Your class usually ended around 6:00 and it was pushing 6:15 now. Just as you were about to make your courtesy call, the door opened with the jingle of keys and a throaty chuckle.
"Look at you, giving your teacher a hard time?" The tatted male asks, scooping up a giggling Yuji with a toothy grin. You, however, were far from pleased, giving a tight-lipped smile as he just barely glances your way.
"Hi, I'm Miss Y/n, Yuji's teacher." You announce, taking a tissue to wipe Yuji's nose one last time before he left.
"Uh huh," He responds, grimacing as you wipe the snot away.
"So, Yuji had a pretty good day today, but I did have to have a chat with him about..fighting and hitting other friends." You explain, feeling smaller under his sharp gaze. His face is tatted too, the thick dark lines running along his nose, cheeks, and jawline.
"You in here beatin people up?" He states sharply at the boy who only nods with a smile.
"Yeah! Like how you said you beat everyone up!" Yuji admits ith joy and his Uncle's face falls.
"Yes so, before Yuji hit the other child he told me that you...fight people and I told him that we use our nice hands. But right after that, he had-" "Hit another kid. The parents mad?" He asks, a bit troubled now, most likely mentally cursing himself for kinda causing this whole debacle. \
"W-well I can't really disclose that. The point is, please just chat with him and hopefully, he can learn that's not okay." You explain, feeling a bit more relieved since the convo went smoother than usual. And part of you was a little... flustered with how seriously he was looking at you. You couldn't help but look at his tatted and flexed arm as he moved Yuji to sit on his shoulders.
"Yeah, well, here have my number so if anything else happens and I'm picking up you can just let me know." He hums, pulling his phone skillfully from his sweatpants pocket and
Holy shit...
You think to yourself, seeing the print just faintly. You swallow, taking the divide and inputting yoi contact.
The pair leaves, Your heart trobbbing as you take a breath. Being any type of romantically involved with your students' parents was highly unprofessional...but the rules never said anything about hot tattooed uncles.
-in the car-
Sukuna buckled Yuji into his seat, passing the child a happy meal he'd picked up as payment for a job well done.
"Nice work. How bout next time you mention your Uncles got no girlfriend either." He laughs, backing out of the parking space with your number and a grin.
Authors Note; Ok yes i wrote this on a whim I swear I'm trying to finish the stuff I had listed on my update post lmao
Also might make a part 2 for this cause I freaking love this au
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skk-fan-page · 6 months
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What does this:
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Mean in the context of skk, 15, stormbringer, and dazai acting like a lovesick puppy.
Well, the first thing I notice is that it's heavily implied that dazai didn't say shit and hasn't in his entire employment at the ada. Everyone talks about the mafia with a certain level of "hey I heard about you because my mom's dad's aunt's best friend's knitting club was talking about you and one of the members' dog's coparent said they saw you at Walmart."
Between akutagawa, higuchi, and now chuuya, it's like they know nothing that might help them with the mafia.
Why wouldnt yosano know though, she used to be mafia? Well that's what I thought at first too. I figured maybe rumors had just spread throughout the mafia in her time there.
But, at the same time, add up these numbers and then tell me if the math is mathing for yosano to know anything about chuuya
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Chuuya is 22 and joined when he was 15, meaning he joined 7 years ago. 14 years ago (11 when she finally escaped) means not only would she not have met him, he would've been 11 by the time she left.
Not only that, but she was an 11 year old child-doctor, which means she would've had no contacts in the Mafia and no friends to tell her anything.
And, most damning of all, in 15 phase.02 mori says this when asked about suribachi city.
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By the time chuuya was awakened, yosano was already out.
So maybe it's kyouka. But here's the thing: she doesn't seem to know shit outside of her (old) job description. She was in such an information silo that she didn't know what a crepe was. That makes her out of the picture for me, especially considering she was the subordinate of the subordinate of the boss's subordinate.
So that leaves 2 options: word on the street, and dazai.
If I can get information on the second highest ring of your underground murder organization by asking around, your organization is getting shit on by the feds in 4 seconds flat.
So that leaves one option: dazai.
But he doesn't seem to be much of a sharer, so why would he share about mafia things? Well we have precedent for it.
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There's this incident, proving he's totally chill with sharing about the mafia. And then, there's something so gay it will make you want to claw your eyes out and join the witness protection program to get away from how single you feel
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I wish someone would look at me the way dazai looks at chuuya's corruption form. And he's even bragging about him and how cool and powerful he is.
Regardless, this proves that he does totally talk about chuuya when he's not listening, and that he's not the inscrutable clamshell of a man he pretends to be.
Now: the other implication. Chuuya just assumes dazai was talking about him, meaning this was a pattern in the past. We can see this pattern manifest in the party that dazai tries to throw in 15, as well as the fact that ango knows chuuya in dead apple.
How many times do you think dazai genuinely set up challenges for chuuya back in his mafia days, to the point where upon being recognized, his first thought is "dazai did this."
Just put a ring on it already guys.
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alchemistc · 4 months
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Donato spots it first - Tommy's been fidgeting with the just-too-short sleeves of his shirt for the past ten minutes, fingers curling into the ends of the arms, thumb sliding along the hem like maybe he could make them long enough to fully cover his wrists just by thinking really hard about it. It's stretched tight across his shoulders, the neck hole feels too high, biting into his skin, and Tommy is absolutely certain it's been hemmed in at the fucking waist, because he can barely keep the damn thing tucked into his pants.
(The cost of having those fucking magnificent gazelle legs is apparently torso space.)
"You shrink your shirt in the wash again, Kinard?"
Tommy's been begging their vendor to switch to a jersey blend for years because 100% cotton undershirts are a goddamn bitch and a half to maintain.
Tommy thinks about ignoring the question entirely. They've been razzing him for weeks about the way every single smile line in his face has been putting in overtime lately.
And then she gets a closer look at it. The merch is usually the same cross-department, but every once in a while some probie will get stuck with the task of ordering a few extras to have as backups around the station and they'll go a little too hard on customization. Like, for example, the one he'd picked off the top of his clean laundry basket without looking in his rush out the door this morning.
Lucy's eyes narrow. She reaches forward, pinches the 118 emblem blazing across the breadth of his shoulder, takes in the color and sturdiness of a shirt he definitely can't play off as being old enough to have been from his own time at the One Eighteen.
Donato grimaces so mockingly Tommy nearly warns her that her face'll get stuck like that. "Christ, Kinard, how fucking domestic are you two?"
(Three days off together after a week of getting by with random texts, their schedules nearly opposite, and when Evan had stared at his overnight bag on day two and realized he didn't have any spare undershirts he'd pouted up a storm about the fact that if he had to go back to his place it didn't make a lick of sense to turn right back around to Tommy's, so Tommy had just thrown Evan's dirty undershirt in with the rest of his own laundry. And then prompted Evan to throw all his other stuff in the wash too. Halfway across the city, Evan is definitely rolling too-long sleeves over his palm with the tips of his fingers and Tommy does not have time to think about how much he likes the idea of that )
"He doesn't even know my how I take my coffee," Tommy snipes, like that avoids the question, and across the locker room Johnson slams his locker shut with a snort.
"Because you've been using his increasingly more desperate attempts to figure it out as some weird intricate mating ritual for three months now."
"It's about --."
"--the journey, not the destination," they both interrupt, eyes rolling, and Tommy doesn't bother to try to hide the grin in his face.
"He just wants to get it right so bad."
Donato's face is unimpressed. "Ugh. Can you please stop being so smitten right in front of me? I'm gonna throw up."
Tommy leans in for the kill. "Your wife ever buy you flowers, Johnson? Because I've been trying to decide how much thought went into the arrangement he brought me on Saturday, and I figure -." He dodges the palm Johnson extends towards his face with a bark of bright laughter.
---
Evan 2:15 PM
Boyfriend privileges are a SCAM
Evan 2:15 PM
Why is YOUR NAME on the back of this shirt? There's no way that's standard
Evan 2:16 PM
Chimney's being homophobic
Evan 2:19 PM
Nvm Gerrard saw it and now I'm just sad he didn't actually have a heart attack about it
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smoothies-are-cool · 7 months
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everybody talks
boyfriend! matt sturniolo x girlfriend! reader
summary: everybody talks is matt and readers “song”. they sing it all the time together but when matt and his brothers get covid they have to quarantine so matt can’t see his girlfriend.
warnings: swearing, kissing, pet names (baby, sweetheart, handsome, beautiful), being sick??.
a/n: @worldlxvlys told me to write this one next so here it is!! this might be a stupid idea but i thought it was kinda cute
me and my boyfriend matt have been dating for a year and 5 months. on our one year anniversary we decided to hard launch our relationship. the fans were a little rocky at first but after seeing our relationship over the last 5 months, they’ve grown to really love us together.
one day when nick was live, the fans could see me and matt screaming and dancing the lyrics of ‘everybody talks’ by neon trees. that was when we told them that was our favorite song to listen to when we’re together.
me and matt hadn’t seen each other in 2 weeks due to the fact him and his 2 brothers had gotten covid. he texted me everyday, telling me how much he misses me. i obviously missed him too. going from seeing him everyday to not seeing him for 2 weeks was definitely weird.
when the friday video came out i watched it, laughing as nick turned his ipad screen around to show my boyfriend. nick and chris had both tested negative, but matt was still testing positive so he was stuck in his room for a while longer. since matt was the only one who could drive, they filmed this video in the car.
15 minutes into watching the video, matt decides to burst out into song.
“and that is when i kissed herrrr.” he sings, bopping his head. i laugh, going to look at the comments.
user: awww matt singing him and y/n’s song 🥹
user: AW IS MATT MISSING Y/N??
user: matt bursting out into song im cackling 😭
user: HELP THE FACT THAT MATT IS ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT Y/N I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE
i smile as i scroll through the comments. suddenly a wave of sadness washes over me and i miss my boyfriend more than ever. 2 weeks has been long enough. i shrug, grabbing my keys and slipping on my uggs. rushing to my car, i immediately back out of my apartment building parking lot.
10 minutes later i pull into his driveway. slamming my car door shut, i walk up the front door and knock. chris opens the door.
“hey y/n?” he says, a questioning tone in his voice. “matt’s still sick.” he tells me.
“i know. i just didn’t wanna wait any longer to see him.” i explain, waiting for him to let me in. he moves to the side and opens the door wider.
“he’s streaming right now. just so you know.” i thank chris and walk past him.
i walk right up to matt’s room, knocking on his door.
“go away.” he yells and i laugh slightly. he must’ve changed his mind because he yells a, “come in.”
i walk into his room and he’s sitting at his gaming desk, his eyes towards the door.
“hi baby.” i softly say, walking over to matt and straddling his lap. i put my legs through the holes of the chair, making it more comfortable for us. my arms go around his neck, pulling him closer to me.
“what are you doing here sweetheart, i don’t wanna get you sick.” matt tells me, hesitantly wrapping an arm around me.
“i don’t care, i just wanted to see you.” i put my head in his neck. he wraps his other arm around me, holding me tightly.
“alright guys, i got my girl with me so i’m gonna head off. thank you all for tuning in.” he tells the stream, ending it and turning off his pc.
“how are you feeling baby?” i ask him, getting off his lap and standing up.
“a little better. i probably look like shit.” he laughs slightly. i shake my head, walking closer to him so i can wrap my arms around his neck.
“that’s impossible. you always look handsome. my handsome boyfriend.” i beam and his face goes red. i slowly move my face closer to his. just as my lips were about to touch his, he pulls away.
“i don’t wanna get you sick beautiful.” he whispers, his face so close to mine i can feel his breath.
“i don’t care.” i tell him. he quickly presses my lips to his, his hands planting themselves on my hips.
“i’m glad you’re here, i missed you so much.” he smiles, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“i missed you more.” i laugh.
“you know, people are gonna be talking about the fact that i called you sweetheart on the stream.” he points out, and i can’t help but laugh more.
“it’s okay, let them talk. everybody talks.” i tell him, smiling ear to ear.
a/n: okay hi. i didn’t know how to end this so we got that
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no-144444 · 2 months
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Meetings from the past- l.sargeant (no.2)
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summary: logan and you reconnect after a few years apart.
pairing: logan sargeant (no.2) x fem! singer! reader
song is 'circus' by brittney spears :)
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Logan walked into yet another party with his head held low, knowing this was one of his lasts with f1. It sucked, knowing that he was leaving. But he was going to indycar, and that was something, right? Prema was good, right? He just felt so… used. He hadn��t even been given a chance to prove himself in f1. He hadn’t even been given a proper goodbye by his shitty team. 
“Who’s she?” Lando leaned in to Oscar beside him. Logan looked up to see who he was talking about, and there you were. Dancing in the middle of the party like no one was watching, but everyone had their eyes on you. You were fucking gorgeous, at least that’s what Logan thought. 
“That’s Y/n,” Oscar chuckled. “She’s Hattie’s friend, we grew up together.”
Beside you was Oscar’s sister Hattie and Lily, Oscar’s girlfriend. You were all dancing along to the music being played far too loud in the club, singing along. 
“That’s Y/n?” Logan gawked. Being friends with Oscar he’d met you when you two were kids and grew up together. He’d had a crush on you since he was about 12 years old. “How long has it been?” You two hadn't spoken in years, but you stayed in each others comment section and offered support when it was needed.
“Too long,” Oscar laughed as Lily spotted him and ran up to the group, hugging him. "You should talk to her."
"Like that went well the last time," he scoffed, downing more of his beer. The last time you two had spoken face to face, you'd been breaking up. You were both sobbing crying, just hugging each other, and you kept apologising, wishing it hadn't worked out the way it did.
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"This isn't fair," you frowned, wiping your tears on the sleeve of your hoodie. "This is shit."
Logan chuckled, this sad, half-hiccup, half-sob noise and he sighed. "I fucking love you so much."
You fell into his arms like you'd done so many times before, and you cried against each other for a good hour on his front porch.
"I would give up singing if it meant that we could be together forever," you whispered. Maybe it was silly, and you were only 18, but you knew Logan was your person. He was your everything.
"Don't say that," he cooed, pressing soft kisses to the crown of your head. "I love hearing you sing for me."
"I love singing for you," you looked up and pressed a kiss to his cheek as the taxi rolled up beside his house. He watched as you left, both of you crying as you walked away from the greatest thing you'd ever lost.
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Hattie followed Lily, dragging you behind her as you complained about wanting to dance more. Hattie pulled a little too hard and you fell forward, straight into Logan. 
“Fuck!” you squealed as he grabbed you, keeping you upright. You looked up, only to be met with the eyes of the guy you’d liked since you were 12, and your first boyfriend. “Logan?!”
“Y/n,” he smiled. He didn’t drop his hands and you both just stared at each other for a few seconds. Then the song changed, some 2000’s song he remembered hearing too often as a teenager, and your smile widened. “Follow me Sarge,” you chuckled, pulling him onto the dancefloor. Logan Sargeant was not a dancer by any means. He wasn’t one to take the spotlight either. 
He didn’t complain about it when it meant you had your hands all over him, and he got to put his hands on you. 
You two were 15 when you got together, and you broke up when you two were 18. 3 years was a long time in teenage years, and you were both crushed, but you were going on tour for the first time, and he was always too busy with racing. You two didn’t talk, or see each other, so you called it quits. There was always love there, you’d always love each other, but it just didn’t work.
“How have you been?” you asked as you danced together. “I’m sorry about Williams.”
He shrugged, pulling you closer. “I’m going to indycar, it’s not like my life is over.”
You smirked. “Exactly,” you spun in his arms.
As the night progressed and you two spent some more time together, you fell into an easy flow of conversation. Spending time with Logan always made you feel at-ease. He was your comfort person. You huddled into his side as you stood outside the bar, trying to keep under the awning as the rain poured.
"Not ideal weather for a race, huh?" you smiled, trying to kill the silence that had fallen on you two in recent moments.
Logan sighed. "I guess not."
"Well, you've always excelled in the wet," you winked as you lit a cigarette and he laughed.
You stayed silent for a moment, all too aware of the way he was staring at you.
“You still think about us?”
You weren’t one to beat around the bush, he admired that. 
He chuckled. “Sometimes,” he shrugged. 
Your eyes widened. “Me too! All the time!” You stamped out your cigarette, your voice excited and bright.
He stopped moving, stopped breathing. “Oh yeah?”
How he was keeping it cool was beyond him. He’d wanted you to say that for his entire adult life. 
You nodded slowly, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Still love you.”
He could’ve fainted. Going out tonight was the best idea Oscar had ever had. “Good,” he smiled, his heart beating out of his chest. “‘Cause I still love you too.”
Your smile widened. “So kiss me.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. 
-------------- When he woke up the next morning, he had a pretty bitching hangover, but also your number, so he wasn’t that upset. Last night had been exactly what he needed, you were exactly what he needed. Someone fun, someone free, and someone completely uninterested in racing. Don’t get me wrong, you liked it, and you watched it, but you didn’t give a shit about the championship or how Logan was doing. You loved Logan, not Logan Sargeant, f1 driver. You’d always been like that. Unconditional.
Then he remembered about the kiss outside the bar, because his mom, your mom, Oscar, Oscar's mom, Lily, Hattie, Alex, Lily, and you were all texting him at the same time, as well as hundreds of thousands of messages from every social media platform.
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liked by: pierregasly, oscarpiastri, landonorris, logansargeant
comments
user89: hey so this is insane.
user62: WHY HER AND NOT ME????
-> user69: have u seen her? THAT'S why.
user38: LOGAN LIKED?????
y/ny/l/n: @ logansargeant rue, when was this?
-> logansargeant: 🤷🤷🤷🤷
-> y/ny/l/n: damn I wanted to do it again 🤷
-> logansargeant: YES PLEASE I LOVE YOU
liked by y/ny/l/n
-> landonorris: WTAF U TWO MET LAST NIGHT???
-> oscarpiastri: nah they dated throughout their teenage years
-> logansargeant: exactly, lando no-rizz
user45: WTF HOW DID WE NOT KNOW???
user12: power couple fr
user90: what did he do to deserve THE it girl of the century?
-> logansargeant: no idea 🤷
-> y/ny/l/n: big dick and big heart 🤷
-> yourbff: EWWWWW KEEP IT TO YOURSELF
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comments:
logansargeant: photo creds?
-> y/ny/l/n: my virginity back?
-> logansargeant: MY virginity back?
-> y/ny/l/n: touché
comments are disabled.
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Four months on from the bar, you two were still going strong and you were happier than ever. He was doing better mentally, and in races. He'd somehow gotten a Williams up into p6 in quali, and got p5 as a result. When he got out of the car, he ran straight to you and kissed you in front of everyone. It was amazing.
Sadly, Logan's last f1 season finally came to an end in Abu Dhabi, where he fought hard and got his first podium. P2. You'd never been so proud. He stood up there, proving that he wasn't a failure, to himself, and to the world. You'd cried so hard as you watched in the paddock, screaming with joy as he won his first f1 podium.
That night, you two retired to your hotel room, both exhausted.
"You were amazing," you yawned, curling into his chest.
"Well, you're my good luck charm," he chuckled. "You have to be at my first Indycar race-"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," you promised him. Logan meant everything to you. You were everything to him.
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comments:
alexalbon: missing you already man 😭😭😭
-> logansargeant: me too 😭
maxverstappen: you're going to go far in Indycar mate 👍
oscarpiastri: missing you brother :(
-> logansargeant: missing you too :(
danielriccardo: onto bigger and better things brother 🫶
logansargeant: god, you’re so hot. @ y/ny/l/n 🤤
-> y/ny/l/n: so are u 🤤
352 notes · View notes
mxstellatayte · 21 days
Note
okay this is so vague but a something for lewis based off the song pretty please by dutch melrose ?
I LOVE DUTCH MELROSE OMG I ABSOLUTELY CAN. also this one is dedicated my simply simply lovely bestie and horny ride-or-die (not like that) pookie @vivi-81 who has recently converted to being a lewis hoe <3 love you bestie
this fic is multiple chapters because i couldn't help myself! writing this dynamic is really really fun and i'm going to do my best to finish the fic by 15 september, but here is a teaser of the first chapter and the release schedule/masterlist!
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this fic spans literal years. prepare yourselves yall because you're in for a WILD ride lol
teaser (this post): 4 september chapter 1: 8 september (🌻/🥀) chapter 2: 22 september (🌻/🪷) chapter 3: 6 october
teaser below the cut!
the conversation continues easily as the two of you finish your breakfast, then, as you begin to prepare yourself to stand and leave, he stops you. "actually, there's one last thing i wanted to do before we went on camera."
your head tilts in confusion as you set your signature lipstick back in your bag, a deep red balm that you've used since you started working at vogue. it's become your trademark product, and almost everyone in the office knows exactly which one you use. "do i need to be worried, lewis?"
"no, not at all! it's this," he says, and your eyebrows rise in complete and utter shock when he pulls out a small box wrapped in white paper and a crimson bow wrapped around it all. "i wanted to get you a gift as a way of saying thank you for all the curveball questions you've thrown at me this year." your hands shake as you take the box from him, and you already know exactly which brand it is. cartier. sure, you've written pieces about their timeless looks and elegant aesthetics, and owning a piece of their jewelry has always been a dream of yours, but it's always been just that: a dream.
"lewis, i can't accept this. i- i'm honestly at a loss for words. seriously, no." you can't help but flush at how he's looking at you, those annoyingly beautiful eyes of his and the stupidly perfect crow's feet that only show up when he really smiles- when he smiles the way he is now. gods, amelia was right. you really are down bad for the driver.
"please, just open it up. if you don't like it, i'll take it back and you can choose something you prefer." he nudges the box towards you once more, and the crisp wax seal that sits on top of the paper is incredibly enticing.
"are you serious?" a part of you wants to think that this is some sick joke, that there's cameras on you and it's all going up on one of those prank channels on youtube. a much, much bigger part of you believes lewis, though. that is the part of you that takes the box between your shaking hands, carefully pops open the wax seal, nimbly unties the beautiful ribbon, and gently unfolds the pure white paper. when you finally open the box, you gasp, tears threatening to well in your eyes. "lewis..."
"do you like it?" his voice sounds anxious and hopeful, and you can't help but realize how much thought he'd put into this gift. when you'd invited him into your office to review some photos that were to go into an article in the next vogue issue a few months prior, he'd seen the vision board on your wall and asked about it. bashfully, you had explained to him that it was a silly idea you had when you graduated from uni with your friends- each of you made one, cutting and pasting photos from pinterest, magazines, newspapers, and anything you could find, assembling your dreams in a mishmash of colors and ideas. one of your dreams on the board had been to own this exact necklace- the cartier juste un clou necklace in white gold. the fourteen diamonds set in the precious metal glitter back at you, and you can't help but smile.
"i love it, lewis. thank you so much." he visibly relaxes, his shoulders loosening and the crease between his eyebrows disappearing.
"i'm glad. here, turn around. let me put it on you?" you happily oblige, lifting your hair out of the way after you stand so that he can fasten the delicate clasp over your spine.
it's safe to say that both his and your fans noticed the necklace hanging between your collarbones, sitting just below the star necklace you wear daily on top of your dark grey high-collared shirt. you try your best not to look at the comments on the videos of your interviews, but amelia had shown you one that day after the unedited interview went up online.
"are they dating or something? i can't get over how lewis looks at her."
taglist: @pear-1206 @vivi-81
join my taglist here!
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ryanguzmansource · 4 months
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Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)
Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.
If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.
The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.
We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.
So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.
[INTRO MUSIC]
Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?
I'm good, brother. How are you?
I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?
A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.
Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?
I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.
Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?
Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.
Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.
Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.
No.
Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.
So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?
I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.
I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?
I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.
There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?
Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.
But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?
I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.
Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?
Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.
And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.
He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?
Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.
Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.
But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.
Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?
What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.
Oh no.
Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?
You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.
I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.
And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.
I might get fired if I do that.
All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.
To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.
Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.
Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.
It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.
Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.
Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.
Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.
Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?
I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.
That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?
Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.
Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.
So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.
Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?
Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.
About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.
So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.
Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?
And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.
Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.
Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.
Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.
Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.
All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.
Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.
All right, man, until we meet again, take care.
All right, brother.
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screebyy · 4 months
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Part 6: The Summit Prev | Next (Soon™️) | Start
Two parts left! sorry to end on a lil cliffhanger of sorts. also sorry i'm going to continue to be very mean to jolyon. also also sorry i will not be finishing this before tfs launches lol 🥲
ID below cut like and subscribe etc
Panel 1: Wide shot of Crow and Jolyon sitting on a rock on the summit of a mountain, looking down at the dreaming city below. The sun is starting to rise over distant mountains, and the dreaming city is covered in taken essence, with black taken orbs hanging all around it. Jolyon is leaning forward with his arms crossed and his elbows resting on his knees, while Crow is leaning back on his hands. Jolyon: “Thanks for doing this with me.” Crow: “Of course. It’s been… really nice, catching up.” Jolyon: “Yeah…
Panel 2: Close up of Jolyon’s hand from the side. He is curling it into a tense fist where it’s resting on his bicep. Jolyon: “... Can I ask…”
Panel 3: Close up of Jolyon’s face in profile. He is staring straight ahead with a pained expression on his face as he speaks. Jolyon: “Why now?”
Panel 4: Side view of Crow as he turns to look at Jolyon. He has a curious expression on his face. Jolyon (offscreen): “A few years ago… I heard about what happened, with Savathun. That you had remembered your past life.”
Panel 5: Side view of Jolyon. He is turning away from the Crow, and his expression is not visible. Jolyon: “When you didn’t reach out… I guess I just assumed you hadn’t remembered me.”
Panel 6: Side view as Crow looks at Jolyon with a mournful expression. Crow: “I…”
Panel 7: Crow turns forward again, looking down at the ground with a sad expression. Crow: “I’m not sure I did, at first.” Panel 8: Flashback of the Radiant Accipiter, idling in empty space. Crow is visible through the windshield of the ship, he is hunched over in the pilot’s chair with his head in his hands while glint floats beside him. Crow (Present day): “He was so far gone at the end - whenever I tried to think about his life, it was like a bomb going off inside my brain.”
Panel 9: Close up of Crow looking down past the camera. He is clutching his face with both hands, one hand is tearing desperately at his hair while the other is covering his cheek, nose and mouth. He has a horrified, distant expression on his face, and a tear is running down his cheek. In the background, a cracked surface shows many scenes from Uldren’s rampage. One fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s eyes as he turns towards the viewer with a hateful expression. Black rivulets of corruption are flowing from his eyes like tears, and the sclera of his corrupted eyes are black and seeping into the iris. Another fragment shows several dead corsairs lying on a stone floor in pools of blood. Another fragment shows a close-up of Cayde-6’s face, staring up at the viewer defiantly. His face plates have been badly damaged. The final fragment shows a close up of Uldren’s hand holding the Ace of Spades hand cannon, with smoke coming out of the barrel. Crow (Present day): “Nothing made sense, all I could feel was… what he felt. The things he did…”
Panel 10: A wide shot of Crow lying in bed, bundled up in his blanket. The room is dark, and a window is open, with bright sunlight shining in through the curtains. Crow (Present day): “But eventually…”
Panel 11: A close up of Crow holding Glint with one hand. Glint’s eye is closed, and he is humming gently. Crow (Present day): “I was able to start picking up the pieces.” Panel 12: Closer shot of Crow lying in bed. He is clutching Glint against his chest with one hand, rubbing his shell gently. With his other hand, he is holding a golden ring on a chain. He is staring blankly at the ring with a sad, tired expression. Crow (Present day): “To put together who he had been before.” Panels 13, 14, 15, and 16: A sequence of fuzzy, incomplete memories. The first is a shot of Jolyon in his uniform, from his waist to his chin. Most of his face is not visible, but he seems to be scowling. He is partially obscured by a misty, dark blue background. The second memory is a shot of Uldren lying back in green grass on a sunny day, eating raspberries. He is looking to his right, at someone just offscreen. He is laughing lightly, and looks peaceful as he holds a raspberry up to his mouth. The third memory is a shot of Jolyon’s dark blue Supremacy rifle leaning against a wall, next to where his green cloak is hanging. The fourth memory is a partial shot of Uldren resting on his hands and knees above Jolyon, who is not visible. Uldren is shirtless, and a golden ring is hanging from a chain around his neck. Jolyon’s hand is reaching into frame, holding the ring in his palm where it hangs. Uldren is smiling down at him warmly. Crow (Present day): “You were… A puzzle that took me a long time to figure out. A face I couldn’t quite name, a feeling I couldn’t quite place.”
Panel 17, 18, and 19: Another sequence of memories, which are more clear than before. The first panel is a head-on shot of Uldren, staring up past the viewer with a confused, strained expression. The scleras of his eyes are black, and the corruption is starting to seep out of them. The second panel is a head-on view of Jolyon, staring down at Uldren with an intense, searching expression. The third panel is of Uldren, who is looking away to scratch at his right eye with the heel of his hand. His hands are cuffed together at the wrist, and he looks frustrated, and distracted. Crow (Present day): “When it finally came together, And I realized how terrible he had been to you… I was too ashamed.” Panel 20: In the present day, Crow is leaning forward, and staring distantly down at the ground, while Jolyon watches him talk. Crow: “To let himself fade away like that, to forget you, while you were standing right in front of him…”
Panel 21: Close up of Jolyon as he looks away, and stares sadly into the distance. His brow is furrowed and he looks conflicted and tired. Crow (offscreen): “I didn’t think I could face you, after that. I didn’t think you’d want me to.” Jolyon: “...”
Panel 22: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is leaning forward heavily, looking down at the ground with a grim, slightly frustrated expression. Jolyon is turning slightly towards Crow, though he is not looking directly at him and is expression is sad and distant. Jolyon: “What changed your mind?”
Panel 23: Close up of Jolyon’s face. He looks slightly surprised and is looking directly at Crow, offscreen. Crow (offscreen): Petra.
Panel 24: Shot of Crow as he hunches away from Jolyon, rubbing his right arm self-consciously. He is glancing out of the corner of his eyes back at Jolyon with an uncertain, guilty expression. Crow: “Last week, hunting Riven’s eggs took us… Somewhere that reminded me of you.”
Panel 25:  Close up of Jolyon as he watches Crow out of the corner of his eyes. His brow is slightly furrowed, and he looks uncertain.
Crow (offscreen): “After we got back, I asked Petra how you had been, and…”
Panel 26: Close up of Crow. He is smiling lightly, staring down at the ground with a distant, soft expression and blushing faintly. Crow: “She talked some sense into me. Reminded me that I shouldn’t just assume you were better off never knowing me. That I at least owed you the chance to make that decision for yourself.”
Panel 27: front view of Crow and Jolyon sitting side by side. Crow is turning back towards Jolyon with a soft smile. Jolyon is also looking at Crow, smiling faintly. Crow: “I guess… some things haven’t really changed, right?” Jolyon: “Ha.”
Panel 28: Close up of Jolyon’s face from the side. He is staring straight ahead again, smiling faintly. Jolyon: “Right…”
Panel 29:  Jolyon looks slightly down, his smile has fallen and his brow has furrowed as his expression grows distant. Dark, scratchy marks are bleeding into the edge of the panel, fading out the edges. Jolyon: “...”
Panel 30: extreme close up of Jolyon’s eye, squeezed shut. Dark scratchy marks surround the panel, creating a chaotic background and bleeding into the panel. Voice offscreen: “Jolyon…”
Panel 31: A younger version of Jolyon turns towards the camera from the side, with a confused expression. His hair is pulled back into a bun, and he is wearing a light green sweatshirt. The background is faded purples and blues, and Jolyon is outlined in surreal surreal shades of pink and purple. The panel is outlined by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in vibrant shades of pink, purple, and green. The text bubbles appear to be glitching out, with scratchy fragments coming out of them. Voice offscreen: “Why’d you do it?” Jolyon: “What?”
Panel 32: Shot of Uldren sitting on a rock, from behind. He is leaning forward, resting his hands on his knees, and staring down at the ground. His hair is falling over his face, and his expression is not visible. The surreal lighting continues in this panel, and Uldren is outlined in pinks and purples with the panel being surrounded by dark scratch marks, spiky thorns, and black flowers outlined in bright colors. Uldren: “Why did you come with us, Jol?”
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bluetooththereptile · 10 months
Text
The heir
(yandere Thomas Wayne x male reader x potential yandere Bruce Wayne)
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( English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes in the following text.)
Summary: You never belonged to the world of what would be called by the dimension travelers, the earth 2. You never wanted to end up in the hands of a violent grumpy old man that seemed oh so lonely,but you did and you have build yourself a life by his side, but everything is about to change, and your old man Thomas, wouldn't like it at all.
Tw: mentions of abuse,violence,injuries and unhealthy yandere tendencies.
"For God's sake old man, just take tonight off!" You groaned as you tried to stop Thomas from putting his suit on, the argument had been going on for the past 15 minutes and he had been trying to ignore you, the old bat gave you a side eye glare, the usual response, but you knew it wasn't harsh, he could never be harsh with you, not anymore. He still regretted the day he had slapped you all those years ago, the image of your teary eyes was etched in his memory and nearly as haunting as the memory of Bruce's death. Thomas finally grunted in your response "Leave me be kid".
But you were determined to make him take tonight off, he deserved to rest and take his mind off of the worries of the bleak world out there, you didn't like to see him in that state, nearly drunk and wrecked, it was the night of Bruce's death, and you hated the fact that no matter how much you tried to make him feel better, every year this night He'd be in shambles. You had one solution left, something risky that you knew would cos some problems with you and Thomas, you dragged in a breath "Dad..." Thomas visibly stiffened, you knew how much you calling him by that meant to him and whenever you did so he'd become overbearingly protective of you for the following days days. You did it all the time when you were in your preteens unknowingly feeding into the melting pot of his emotions, but when you started to grow up it turned into something reserved for the most vulnerable situations between you two, a strategy that you'd use for rare occasions "Please, dad...take tonight off..." you said as you put your hand on his shoulder.
"You know I can't..." his tone was now softer, it had worked! You sighed "I know, I know but going out won't help either, take a pill and sleep, I promise nothing will go wrong, I and the boys can handle it" with mentioning the boys Thomas sighed, rubbing his temple, he was considering your words, it progressed!...who would have imagined that you had managed to convince Thomas to take in more sidekicks, something that had started with you befriending a lost boy in one of your patrols had ended up with Thomas surrounding himself with lost but talented boys that would help him in both his duty as batman, and his situation as a father who still tried to heal. It was you who had proved to him that he could take in more, you had given him a new drive.
Thomas turned towards you, his blue eyes softening slightly, you had grown so much in the past decade, from the whimpering child that had ended up on the steps of the Wayne Manor, talking about another world and crying for his dead son, Bruce, who had adopted you in your world, to a capable man, someone that had whipped both the Wayne Manor and Wayne industries into shape and became a solace to his mind. He knew he wasn't a good father figure to you, always smelling of alcohol and busy with work, but you stuck to him like an annoying little sticky patch, but he'd be damned if he'd let this little patch be removed from his side.
"You don't take no for an answer do you?" A remnant of a smirk was on his lips "I've learnt from you" you teased with a chuckle. Thomas surprisingly, after half an hour of persuasion, gave in, putting his cowl back into the wardrobe. It already showed the amount of trust he had in you. "If anything goes wrong you know the consequences" he softly scolded and you only smirked at him, making him roll his eyes slightly, you were always like this.
Watching him walk out of the cave you turned back to put your suit on but then froze at the sight of the five boys standing there with large grins "Shhh..." you hushed them before they could rejoice, you finally had convinced Thomas! The boys let out silent shouts of victory as they strangled each other in the heat of excitement, you couldn't help but laugh. You had grown to see them as your brothers, life in Manor with them wasn't easy, but it was much better than the darkness that had surrounded you and Thomas's life in your first years with him. You had taken the role of the eldest sibling seriously, helping the boys with their training, studies, and lives and here you were, looking at them in their respective suits. Brothers, true brothers.
"You already know where your areas of patrols are don't you?" You spoke as you put your suit on, it was identical to Thomas's, but without a cape, the news had given you the name Shadow Hunter after you had started your role as a more aggressive vigilante, turning from bat boy to your own hero. The boys nodded, arguing with you wasn't worth it, when Y/N would say something it was absolute. Not that the boys didn't understand that you knew what you were doing, it was just that they had their preferences, but you didn't budge.
Two of the boys were now old enough to find their paths but they had chosen to stay, you were a family, a very tight-knit one at that, even if it didn't show. You cared for them greatly "Don't get into trouble" you warned them, reaching to fix their masks and examine their belts and gadgets, they groaned and nagged, calling you their nanny, but you were responsible for them and you didn't want to see them get hurt.
...
"Patrolling alone again?" Cyborg's voice made you roll your eyes mentally. You Had hoped your patrol would be silent and peaceful so you'd go back soon, but apparently, it wouldn't happen. You turned to meet him as he walked towards you, he was always the closest thing you had as the cool uncle figure for you and the boys, but sometimes he went on your nerves, why? you didn't know, it seemed Thomas's grumpiness had influenced you as well. "Old man's taken a day off" you spoke flatly as you paced on top of the roof of the building you were standing on. "How are you Batboy?" He teased, making you give him a soft glare, chuckling in response. It was an old joke now, you were batboy for so long that the veterans in the field still called you by that. After the chuckle defused you sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, looking at a commercial board as you drifted into your thoughts, something inside you made you feel this rather peaceful night was just a calm before the storm, you kept the comms open so if anything was going to happen, you'd hear the boys.
You looked at your shadow cast on the rooftop, tall and board-shouldered, 20 years had passed, a lifetime in a world you didn't belong to. You didn't know but in your original world you were technically the very first Robin of Batman, Bruce hadn't spoken of you since you were pushed into another dimension by the mad scientist that you and Bruce had tried to stop, thinking you were lost in time and space, technically dead. You were only with Bruce for six months, two years before he took Dick in. You were nine and lost in a much darker world. You didn't blame Bruce, actually, you hardly thought of him or your original world, there you were an orphan, unwanted, here, even if it wasn't easy, you had your own family and friends.
Why Thomas took you in though? Suddenly the question popped into your head, making you narrow your eyes at the thought. You didn't know why, Thomas was a very hard man to deal with from the start, his mental space wasn't right at all, and it still was not in a good shape either, perhaps because he had lost a son and now another boy close to Bruce's age at the time of his death had appeared out of nowhere he kept you. Abusive for the first few years, angry and drunk for nearly all the time, you were afraid of Thomas when you were younger, but still you stuck by his side, taking it his tough love, you didn't have any options.
But before you both could figure everything out, things changed after that incident, you had gotten into a fight and it had nearly caused your death, Thomas had slapped you so hard that you fell on the ground, looking up at him with teary eyes. After that Thomas changed, he became more patient with you, took in more boys, and soon the name Wayne was plastered on your ID card, and you had ended up following the path of the semi-CEO of the Wayne industries, the heir of legacies of Batman and Thomas Wayne.
The hand on your shoulder pulled you out of your thoughts. "As usual lost in your thoughts eh?" You shrugged at cyborg, making him smile "I give the right to do so" he squeezed your shoulder reassuringly "Being bat's boy isn't easy..." he said, pointing at the scar on your jaw, Thomas once had beat you so hard that it's scar's place didn't heal completely.  You smiled slightly at that "I'm not complaining" you responded, You had forgiven Thomas a long time ago, he had tried his best to take care of you and the boys, and well, even if it wasn't the best parenting you still appreciated. Cyborg opened his mouth to speak but then paused as he got a signal, giving you an apologetic smile he left you alone, before you could say something the comms in your cowl started talking, it was one of the boys "There is a mess, we need backup!"
....
Spent you and the boys sat on a long bench, groaning in unison. The amount of thugs you all had beaten was too much to even count. "That's a new record," one of the boys said as he stretched "I don't know about you but I think I've dislocated a finger" another joked "Should we get something from Five Guys?" "Yep," you all said in unison. You looked at your brothers with a smile, even if you all were covered in bruises and some specks of blood, but still, it was the most precious moment that you could have, your life wasn't easy, but they made it more tolerating.
You chuckled as you watched them interact, but you couldn't help the tugging in your heart, something wasn't right, but what? What?! You stood up and walked to your motorcycle but before you could reach it you felt like everything around you distorted, even the voices of your brothers, but before you could turn around and call for them a force pulled you into oblivion, it was a familiar feeling, something that you had felt years ago. And when you ended up in front of a man wearing that Batman suit and a few others, you knew you were in a different world.
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lovenonymously · 4 months
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the importance of well-written stories
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watching Lovely Runner was like watching 4 K-dramas at once lol
well-written stories are so rare, you only understand that when you watch something exceptional. something unique. a once in a lifetime experience of watching it for the very first time.
this show gave me so many feelings. in truth, it was an experience. I'm glad I put aside my fear of sad endings and watched as it aired. for once, I took the leap and discovered that's exactly what this drama wanted me to learn.
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usually, after finishing really good K-dramas or stories in general, I hit a slump where I cannot function. everything feels dull and boring. a different kind of grief at realising this was just fictional.
but not this time.
all I feel is light and happy. like I'm floating. I want to carry this feeling and runaway. I want to remember how this felt and hold onto it when I get down or get bad days.
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lifetimes lived.
Sol was sunlight. bright and unwavering and unforgettable. 💛
living vicariously through Im Sol, from feeling her pain in the beginning to her sunny hope that Sun Jae gave her. all her struggles as she jumped through various lifetimes, loved and lived and loved again. crying with her, laughing with her, rooting for her despite all odds. it was a journey.
beyond her love for Sun Jae, Sol's choices changed her family's life too. they were less hurt and much happier in the future she helped them create. even giving her grandmother a chance to return to the past and relive her fondest memories.
Sun Jae was midnight rain. the comfort of a sudden shower in the middle of summer. 💙
apart from being a complete loser in love, Sun Jae was in love with Sol for a total accumulated time of 45 years.
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yep. my reaction exactly ^
I won't lie, when they pulled the "he fell first" trope in Episode 2, I was wary. one, because if the writers were willing to pull such a twist in just the second episode, then who knew what else was in store for us? my guess was pretty spot on, the twists that followed had me gasping and yelling out loud. this show was unpredictable from beginning to end.
and two, because I was worried that Sun Jae's character might get reduced to just him being in love with Im Sol.
in that case, I'm glad to say,
I was completely wrong.
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despite Sun Jae's love for Im Sol, he had a grounded personality of his own. whether it was OG Sun Jae (ep 1), who lived in the guilt of what happened to the girl he loved, or Timeline 3 Sun Jae (ep 15), who never fell in love at all, he was positive, kind, decisive and striving to live.
and i love that about him.
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for two characters whose stories are so deeply interwoven together, having shaped aspects of each other's lives, Sol and Sun Jae displayed their unique traits exceptionally well as individuals.
I cannot emphasize how happy this makes me. Sun Jae is his own person, Sol is her own person, and they are destined to be together. beyond their desperation for each other's safety and well-being, Sol and Sun Jae are genuinely good people who deserved to be together. even fate and time bent to their will to make it happen.
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"As you wait for the rain to stop, live another day."
when a story makes you feel happy, hold onto that feeling. bottle it up. write it down. come back to it on the days the world feels against you and when the times feel too bleak.
fictional though it is, for what it's worth, at least the story exists. it means there are still people out there writing and bringing such stories to life. it means artists and creators like you and I haven't yet forgotten what it's supposed to be like to live. it means there are still people who connect to such stories and learn good things from it.
and as you wait for more such great stories, live another day. perhaps, if you get bored, write the story you want to read.
in the end, it's quite simple.
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as for me, I'll be here. crying, laughing, screaming, giggling and kicking my feet while being up to my eyes in second-hand embarrassment (because goodness, these two idiots are COMPLETE LOSERS IN LOVE) throughout these past 8 weeks was the highlight of my year ✨ I will always remember that I watched a beautiful modern fairytale romance in the summer of '24 that reminded me that I was young and full of love to give.
good stories truly do make a difference 🤍
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lesbianloml · 11 months
Text
my babysitter au
the first kiss
types of piece(s): imagine, oneshot, drabble, series
type(s) of writing: smut, angst, fluff, dark (the story will contain all of the above)
pairing(s): milf!dom!dark!wanda maximoff x innocent!sub!immune!witch!fem!reader
warning(s): legal age gap (wanda is 33, reader is 21), obsessive wanda, sorta pervy wanda, maybe?, nothing mostly fluff and plot shit
summary: wanda met you for the first time three days ago. when she runs into you again at the bake sale at the elementary school, she is thrilled. but wanda is overjoyed when the two of you make a deal that will let her see you everyday.
a/n: I know I've been gone FOREVER but I'm back with part 2 of this series. I hope you guys like it, and if you have any ideas or requests, let me know!
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you groan as you lean over and press snooze on your alarm. 5am is way too early to wake up, but you need to finish baking and packaging all the treats for the bake sale this afternoon. you sigh, before climbing out of bed and beginning your morning routine. you shower, put on a cute brown mini dress before heading to the café. you sigh as you look around the empty shop, before pulling on an apron and starting your work.
*hours later*
you startle awake at the sound of your phone ringing. you gasp as you check the time. its 3:30pm, the bake sale starts in 30 minutes, and you haven't even begun to load everything up and set up your table. you check the caller id. dottie. you sigh heavily before answering the call. "hello?" you ask, your voice sugary sweet. "y/n y/l/n! where in the world are you? you were supposed to be here an hour ago to help set up! you're 21 years old, you should be more responsible than this!" as dottie rambles on and on, you sigh. "dottie? give me 5 minutes, I'm on my way." you hang up, ignoring her protests as you quickly load your car with the wrapped treats from the bakery, all made by you.
you speed down the road, and quickly turn into the almost full school parking lot. you scramble out of your car and as you close your door, you turn to be face to face with wanda. "wanda! you scared me!" wanda smiles at your expression. "sorry, detka. you're here for the bake sale right?" wanda asks, looking at you with a look you're unable to read. "yup thats what im here for." wanda turns quickly as two boys come speeding around the parking lot. "billy, tommy! come here. I have someone i want you to meet." you gasp as the boys come speeding past you, a silver blue blur before coming to a halt in front of you.
"y/n, this is billy and tommy. billy and tommy, this is y/n." you smile, looking at them both kindly. "which one of you is super speedy?" you ask. "I am!" tommy pronounces proudly. "would you two like to help me set up my booth?" "we would love to, y/n!" billy says. strangely formal for a 10 year old, but you don't question it. for the next 15 minutes, you spend with the boys, laughing and giggling at tommy's antics as they help you set up your booth. it gets done much quicker with the maximoff's help then it's would've if you had done it alone.
you smile at the sight of your booth, ready just in time as all the parents and children begin filing in. "as a thank you for your help, you three get first pick of the treats." you say, gesturing to the variety of sweet treats you have set out on your table. tommy immediately goes for a huge triple chocolate cookie. you laugh, sharing a shy glance with wanda. billy walks slowly over to the table, and carefully surveys his options before choosing a cupcake with sprinkles. wanda walks over to the table after the boys scatter to go say hi to their friends. wanda grabs a cinnamon pastry and pops it in her mouth. her eyes brighten as she chews slowly. "did you make all of this on your own, y/n?" you smile sheepishly. "yes, i did. do you like it?" you ask, subtly asking for her approval. as wanda finishes chewing, she lets out a soft moan of satisfaction. a faint blush coats your cheeks at the noise, your eyes drifting to places they shouldn't.
"y/n? did you hear me?" wanda asks sweetly. people are beginning to drift over to your booth, the wonderful delectable smells drawing them. "sorry wanda. what was that?" you turn your attention to her for a moment before beginning to serve the customers in front of you. "i would just like to speak to you after the bake sale, ok darling?" dottie approaches the table, eyes on wanda to drag her off somewhere. "of course wanda! ill meet you in a little while" you say, flashing her a sweet smile. you continue serving the lengthy growing line in front of you, your attention drifting back to where it needs to be.
wanda's jaw drops as she sees you in your car speeding around the corner. wanda walks swiftly over to your car, standing behind your car door. "wanda! you scared me!" wanda smiles at your face expression. just you saying her name in your pretty little voice, it slipping out your plump lips. it makes her want to bend you over right here and make you scream it. "sorry, detka. you're here for the bake sale aren't you?" she mentally curses herself. what a stupid question, of course that's what you're here for. she feels like an idiot, but you don't even seem to notice. "yup, that's what i'm here for!" wanda hears tommy and billy giggling, and she wants you to meet her sons more than anything in that moment. if her plan works, soon you and her sons were going to be well acquainted.
"billy, tommy! come here, i have someone i want you to meet." wanda smiles when you gasp as the boys come speeding past you in a silver blue blur. "y/n, this is billy and tommy. billy and tommy, this is y/n." wanda watches as you smile widely, then give them a teasing look. "which one of you is super speedy?" you ask. "i am!" tommy pronounces proudly. "would you two like to help me set up my booth?" "we would love to, y/n!" billy says. wanda chuckles softly at billy. so formal, so sweet. for the next 15 minutes, wanda and her boys spend time with you, laughing and giggling together at tommy's antics as they help you set up your booth. wanda is thrilled at how well you, billy, and tommy are getting along. you guys almost seem best friends already.
wanda watches you smile at the booth setup, happy that you like it. "as a thank you for your help, you three get first pick of the treats." wanda's smile widens as tommy immediately goes for the huge triple chocolate cookie. he's so predictable. you laugh, and wanda shares a glance with you. you're so shy, so beautiful it makes her want to scream. billy walks slowly over to the table, and carefully surveys his options before choosing a cupcake with sprinkles. utterly predictable. wanda walks over to the table after the boys scatter to go say hi to their friends. wanda grabs a cinnamon pastry and pops it in her mouth. her eyes brighten as she chews slowly. it is incredible. she's almost shocked. "did you make all of this on your own, y/n?" wanda asks, her voice filled with wonder. you smile sheepishly. "yes, i did. do you like it?" you ask, subtly asking for her approval.
how cute. wanda knew you would be the perfect wife for her. as wanda finishes chewing, she lets out a soft moan of satisfaction. she knows what she's doing as a faint blush coats your cheeks at the noise. she watches your eyes drift to the places she wants them to be glued to the most. "can i talk to you after the bake sale?" wanda asks, but notices your attention trailing. "y/n? did you hear me?" wanda asks sweetly. people are beginning to drift over to your booth, the wonderful delectable smells drawing them. "sorry wanda. what was that?" your attention is on her for a moment before you begin to serve the customers in front of you. you're so sweet. wanda thinks so many dirty thoughts about you, that she wants to say to you now. she restrains herself, not wanting to scare you away. "i would just like to speak to you after the bake sale, ok darling?" wanda almost lets out a groan of dread when dottie approaches the table, her predatory gaze fixed. "of course wanda! ill meet you in a little while!" as dottie drags wanda away, wanda's gaze is fixed on you the entire time, hearts in her eyes.
after the bake sale, you and wanda meet up in the parking lot. the boys are konked out in the back of wanda's suv, their sugar high short lived. "what did you want to talk about wanda?" you ask, shivering as the fall chill falls over you. wanda immediately removes her jacket, offering it to you. "here detka. wouldn't want you to be chilly." wanda waits for you to slip it on before speaking again. "i wanted to offer you a job. i've found a job downtown, and I was just wondering if you'd like to start babysitting billy and tommy during the week or whenever I need it. my job requires a lot of travel. and of course, I would pay you double what you make right now at the café.." wanda rambles, but her breath catches as you lay a sweet hand on her arm. "oh wanda, I would love to! I already feel so close with billy and tommy, like I've known them for years. maybe we could meet up sometime over coffee and talk some more? i'm sure you're eager to head home." you say, nodding to the boys sleeping in the back of wanda's car.
wanda nods. "of course. that would be perfect, sweetheart. here, ill put my number in your phone. ill text you, okay?" you smile, handing wanda your phone. wanda enters her number, and hands your phone back to you. you stand there for a moment, your thoughts conflicting. you make up your mind, and quickly lay a light kiss on wanda's cheek before walking to your car. you will never know how that single kiss rocked wanda's world, and how it would soon lead to yours being turned upside down.
remember, asks and requests are open! i love to hear from you guys! <3
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vitaminseetarot · 4 months
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PAC Pick a Picture: Yes or No (or Maybe) 💚💙💜
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Hey y'all, I'm back in time for the end of May with another pick a card reading. I thought that since it's been almost a year since my last yes or no reading, that now would be a good time to do my second one. Today, perhaps because of the last day of Mermay in part, I'm inspired by the colors green and blue (and some purple thrown in). I'll be using Mermaid Tarot for this reading. 🌎🧜‍♀️
Below, there are 12 images for you to choose from in a random color assortment, from left to right. Take a deep breath, pause, and relax all tension in your body before deciding what your question is. There are a lot of piles to choose from, so if you have a lot of questions, feel free to select them one at a time and read in any order you want.
Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon Pile 2 - Peacock Tail Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers (Light Blue) Pile 4 - Azurite Pile 5 - Grass Field Pile 6 - Lily Pad Pile 7 - Damselfly Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers (Dark Blue) Pile 9 - Blueberries Pile 10 - Blue Jay Pile 11 - Butterfly Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird
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apologies for the misalignment in pics; this stock photo collage was initially for fun
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Pile 1 - Hot Air Balloon
IX Hermit, 9 of Swords, 6 of Swords, XIII Death; 24 - Heal Thyself, 15. Adrift in Shallow Water
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This pile is a No. You may be wanting to move forward with something, but the energy I'm picking up on is too closed inward and focused on the worst possible outcomes. You may need to detach from the situation if a decision is called for. Answers will more likely come to you when you are given the quietude and privacy needed to listen to your inner guidance system. It knows a lot more than it may let on, but you won't be able to hear it amidst the chaos.
"Take a few deep breaths and reconnect to your inner peace." This card is talking about using mindfulness to recenter the self. It is very difficult to make important decisions and move forward from a place of anxiety. Things are more likely to move in the direction you desire when you make plans from a calm and positive outlook. Once you're fully ready to move on, the tides will turn for you.
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Pile 2 - Peacock Tail
4 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles; 13 - Awareness, 5. Change Direction With Ease
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For you, this is a big Maybe. Your reading starts with two 4 cards which can indicate a state of stagnancy and lack of motion. With 6 of cups, you may be more focused on what's happened before than what could happen next. Remember that cycles don't always repeat themselves perfectly and giving something another go can reap potential success if you put in the proper dedication for it.
"You may be in for a surprise." 4 of Cups can talk about unforeseen surprises around the corner, so if you're able to keep your mind more ahead into the present and future rather than the past, you may be prepared to catch this surprise. This surprise could be the key to allowing things to flow through to a more desired resolution. Stay present for what's to come.
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Pile 3 - Plumbago Flowers
XIX The Sun, XVIII The Moon, 3 of Cups, Queen of Cups; 7 - Clear Aura, 49. Be Insightful and Established
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So this is a definite Yes with the Sun card coming out first! But then the Moon card popped up, which definitely surprised me. This combo doesn't often happen a lot! I think with this particular yes, you may be very excited to jump the gun and celebrate. But the Moon wants to remind you that as alluring as it may be to throw caution in the wind, it's important to keep your emotions leveled and even keeled. Your friends or community may also be affecting the choice or outcome; never mind their energy and stay true to what's in your own cup. Your intuition will guide you.
"Ground and realign your energy." Give yourself a clean fresh head start and look before you leap into anything. Lighten yourself from heavier energies. Make decisions from a place of solid reason rather than through the emotional frenzy that may surround you.
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Pile 4 - Azurite
4 of Pentacles, Page of Swords, 2 of Cups, 5 of Pentacles; 14 - Grace, 42. Gentle Moderation
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This pile is a very likely No. When I drew these cards, it was like rapid fire. All these cards came out at once. I feel there may be a lot of impatience, especially with the 4 of Pentacles. You may feel you've been waiting too long for something to come to fruition and you may be getting frustrated by the lack of results. With Page of Swords and 2 of Cups, I sense that there is an important lesson you must grasp before you can move ahead with this. It may have to do with communicating to your partner, friend, or coworker, or even asking for assistance.
"Take your time." Time is greatly emphasized in this pile. Before I drew this card and I saw Grace, I thought, "grace period." So you may be in or soon getting a grace period which will allow you to have the ability to ease back and think carefully about how you want to go forward. I get that it sucks when things don't show up when we've desire it for so long, but the cards want to remind you that you have more time than you think to get the results you're after.
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Pile 5 - Grass Field
Knight of Pentacles, 8 of Cups, I Magician, 9 of Swords; 30 - Practical Intuition, 5. Change Direction With Ease
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This pile looks to be a No, for at least this moment. This is something that may take a while to accomplish, but because you may be holding on to something no longer needed, it could be taking longer than necessary. The Magician card wants to remind you of your power to take control of the situation. Do not listen to the fears that disguise themselves as your intuition. Practical Intuition is about grounding your psychic energy into the material world. Remind yourself that your intuition works for you, not against you. When you're able to let go of old fears and worries, you'll be able to step forward with more confidence.
"It is a time to reconsider what you are wanting." Take some time to get clear on your intentions before you work your magic. The more you paint your worries as being realistic, the more likely they are to become real. Use your intuitive gifts for your benefit. You are not powerless in this situation. But it's ultimately up to you to change how this will all play out!
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Pile 6 - Lily Pad Page of Wands, III of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, 8 of Swords; 9 - Self Acceptance, 29. Empower Yourself
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This pile is a Maybe because I almost took out the World card after 8 of Swords. I think with this pile, you need to take account of who you are and what you're capable of doing. You may get this sense that things are totally out of your hands and up to the universe to decide, but the cards are advising you to not default to that reasoning with this question. While it's one thing to recognize when things are out of our hands, this should not be confused with helplessness.
"Allow yourself to be the strong, beautiful person you are capable of being." I'm getting that some of you may be really harsh on yourselves when things don't turn out right. But resorting to negative self talk when things go wrong and positive talk about the universe when things go right, is an imbalanced way of perceiving this. You are powerful, and this situation can resolve itself in part thanks to your efforts. But you must be kinder with yourself to see this power first.
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Pile 7 - Damselfly
XIII Death, XI Justice, XVIII The Moon, Page of Wands; 13 - Awareness; 3. In the Light of the Moon
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This pile is a No. Something must be done away with here, something must be remain in the past. This is something that needs to occur inevitably, even if it's hard. Whatever it is, things seem to not be going to plan. Ultimately, this No will be in your personal favor, though it doesn't seem that way right now, because letting go will set things into better balance. You may be feeling lost with this, uncertain of how to proceed. But you are gently being guided to your next chapter in life. It's okay if you are feeling down right now, allow yourself to process the emotions (even if you're feeling disconnected from emotion) by doing what you find enjoyable to you as this all unfolds.
I find it interesting how the full moon shows up three times in this reading. I find this magically significant. Do you by chance work with lunar magic, or do you simply follow your emotional energy closely as the moon waxes and wanes? The number 13 appearing twice is also to be noted here. I'm getting that this will have to do with some kind of specific timing, like 13 days from now, or on the 13th of a month. Pay attention to your dreams for further insight and clues. Don't be afraid to shed the old to welcome in the new. Even if this doesn't work out, you carry so much magical potential in you that whatever comes next will be nothing short of wondrously transformative.
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Pile 8 - Gentian Flowers
King of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups; 25 - Truth, 42. Gentle Moderation
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This is a likely Yes, but there are signs of some wavering here. The message I channeled was to be true to yourself no matter what decision you may take. You may be dealing with too many conflicting opinions weighing in on something that may be important mainly for you. I'm getting practical needs vs. emotional needs. You must come to your own conclusions about how much you'll factor in one need compared to the other. If you decide both that are important, then you will need to figure out how to get the two needs to cooperate.
"Pressure from others or yourself can be released by renegotiating what you are trying to accomplish." One King to hold the wheel, the other to hold the compass. You are both the guide and the driver of this choice. Once you come to conclusions about what your personal Truth is, let that be your map to a more harmonious outcome.
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Pile 9 - Blueberries
XII Hanged Man, 5 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, XV The Devil; 29 - Nurture, 26. Where You Need to Be
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This pile is a No. I'm getting a lot of nervous energy from this pile, I'm needing to take my time and breathe between each card. It may help for you to also take time out and breathe deeply. This could be something that has been stressing you out, keeping you in limbo. This is your sign to take it easy. Be gentle with yourself. You're being asked to see the difference between needing to be patient for things to manifest, and needing to rely on your own energy to overcome this. But you cannot use that energy if you cannot see it for yourself.
"Have faith the Universe will take care of a current concern by providing the best possible outcome for all involved." Just because something doesn't turn out now doesn't mean it won't be for later. You're on the right path, don't let this temporary situation sway you. In the meantime, your current focus needs to be on personal self care. You must tend to your garden and provide yourself with the healing you need to take on the things that are within your grasp.
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Pile 10 - Blue Jay
2 of Wands, Ace of Wands, King of Swords, IV The Emperor; 21 - Shadow Treasures, 7. Dancing in the Rainbow
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This pile is a strong Yes. You got what it takes to see this through. There is a passion lighting up from within you, and by keeping your head high and focusing on the outcome you desire, you will be given the tools you need to succeed in this. But all this won't happen on its own. You are being asked to do a majority of the work and organizing needed to pull this off. This may be a solo effort for the most part. But rest assured that you got the motivation and integrity to do it right.
"Break free from whatever you feel is holding you back." Your mind, the King of Swords, may try to freeze this fiery passion by giving you reasons that it isn't plausible or reasonable. But the 2 of wands says "this and more." Release the dichotomy of being rational and enthusiastic and embrace both, for they both have gifts to offer.
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Pile 11 - Butterfly
8 of Cups, Page of Wands, King of Cups, Page of Swords; 3 - Strength, 5. Change Direction with Ease
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This one is a soft Yes. It seems like there is something you need to work through first, however. You may be feeling like you need to hone in on specific skills or internal resources for the best results. You need to be confident in yourself that something must fall away if you want to begin a new with something else. Make peace with where you are now and see that you have an inner reservoir of talent and ambitions to tap into.
"This is a time for change, shapeshifting, or your soul's evolution." There is something telling you that the next stage to come will help you grow and become more well rounded. You've already mastered the art of staying calm under the tension of seeking greater and greater heights, now it's time to play into your passions and find new ways to learn and expand your knowledge.
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Pile 12- Mountain Bluebird
Knight of Cups, Six of Wands, XI Justice, VIII Strength; 6 - Freedom, 11. Persistent Drive
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This one is a strong Yes. Now is the exact time to make the move. Try to visualize or imagine your most desired outcome, first. Which one makes the most sense to you. Which one utilizes your greatest strengths? Which one gives you the emotional freedom to pursue your goals while abandoning all restrictions from the past that still try to tie you down? And, last but not least, which one recreates that joyful spark that lights up the dreams within you? Step out into the world and don't be afraid of a little bit of risk.
"See what you desire and move toward that goal." Be completely sure of where you want to go or want to do next. Set a practical target, one that you can easily see. Take a calculated risk, but don't get cocky or too brash. If all goes well, stay humble and pass the good vibes on.
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This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.
2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™
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imtryingbuck · 1 year
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Affair
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~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Affair
Summary: Y/n founds out about her husband’s affair.
Word count: 1207
Warnings: Angst, Bucky is not good in this im sorry. Sad yet strong reader. Infidelity. Sharon and Steve. Little teeny tiny bit of body hate. Swear words.
A/n: there’s a line from my favourite song of Adeles.
Masterlist
Part 2
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The day she found out her husband was having an affair it felt like time had stopped. Thousands of questions sworn inside her head, she didn’t blame her husband or the other woman nope she blamed herself. It was her fault her husband was unfaithful, it was her fault she had not been enough for him, it was her fault for not satisfying his needs. It was her fault. 
After the self-blaming and self-hating she moved on to anger. Angry at her husband betraying her, angry at the other woman - a woman she had called a friend for 15 years - angry at herself, just unadulterated anger. 
Then came the self-pity party, where all she did was cry and cry and cry. She would stand in front of the full body mirror just in her underwear, picking at every single detail on her skin hating what she saw in the reflection. Then she would cry even more due to the fact that after finally loving and being kind to her own body, she was back to hating it. However, she didn’t just feel sorry for herself, no, no she felt sorry for her husband, her children, her husband’s mistress and the husband of her husband’s mistress.
Oh and then there was denial - but that went straight out of her head pretty quickly, after all she did catch them going at it with her own two eyes.
And finally came acceptance. She accepted her husband’s extra marital affair, she accepted that she had been betrayed by two people close to her. Completely aware that her marriage was over and dead.
Her heart remained broken though, that would never change.
~~~
The sound of the door opening use to bring a smile on Y/ns face, sending her straight to the door awaiting him like a goddamn lapdog. Now though all it did was make her wonder which excuse she was going to be given. 
Sitting on the sofa with her knees pulled up staring at the tv screen, chuckling quietly to herself as Peter Griffin continues his antics, wondering to herself why Lois puts up with him. Already smelling the mistress’s perfume on him makes her roll her eyes. 
“Hey bab-“
“I filed for divorce.”
He actually has the audacity to act shocked “w-what do you mean? Bab-“
“Stop. Just stop. I know about your affair, I know you’ve been sleeping with Sharon for the past six months, probably longer I don’t know” mumbling the last part quietly “but all that matters is that I know so now we’re getting divorced.”
She sees him in her peripheral nervously shifting foot to foot, colour completely drained from his face, is that tears? Gross. Before he can even get a good enough excuse for his betrayal straight, she continues.
“Don’t say anything it’s not going to change my mind or decision. I spoke with my lawyer who thinks I’m being to kind - his words not mine - anyway I told him in don’t want money or the house from you. Custody will be split between us evenly” standing up wrapping her arms around herself “you know at first I wanted so many answers but now I just want to know one thing, do you think you can be honest for once? Do you actually think Sharon is going to want you know that I’m leaving you? Think you both can run off into the sunset and live happily ever after?” Using a baby like voice at the end she chuckles at his expression, she can’t tell if it’s heartbreak that she’s leaving him or heartbreak that his mistress isn’t going to want him anymore - laughable. 
“The answer is no by the way. I feel bad though, you both deserve each other. Both so wrapped up in your own selflessness that you were happy to ruin two marriages, two families! To betray, lie and deceive your spouses who happen to be friends! All for what? Sex?” Stepping back when he tries to reach out “don’t fucking touch me! Don’t you dare try and touch me AFTER you’ve been with her! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? And don’t you dare stand there and cry! You did this, you both did. Oh and Steve knows” Literally as she said that his phone started ringing “Go ahead and answer it’s probably your best friend or your mistress, go ahead James and answer” at the sound of his first name he flinched, he pulled his phone out and sighed, declining the call he looked back at the woman who he had the privilege of calling his wife. The mother of his children, the woman who he has loved from the moment he was introduced to her. The woman who he cheated on.
“I’m sorry” is all he could say, he really didn’t remember how the affair started or why on earth he continued it, he has this perfect wife at home, his other half his soulmate and he cheated, he couldn’t even give her a good enough excuse. His guilt was hitting like a ton of bricks, he betrayed his wife and his best friend all for a quick fuck that wasn’t even good.
“You’re sorry? I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that when the morning comes, you’re going to have no one. I feel for you James honestly - stop swaying you’re making me feel seasick, sit down.” Watching him sit on the chair she moves to sit where she was originally sat before.
“Listen I just want to get this off my chest before I go to bed okay, I have loved you so deeply that I honestly don’t think I’d ever stop loving you but James I can’t forgive you, maybe one day in the future I will but not right now. I have been stood by your side through every single thing that has happened to you, and yet you betray me. I don’t know what went wrong with us but whatever I did I’m sorry-“ when he tries to intervene she puts her hand up “Just listen! I’m sorry that our story has ended this way but i can’t trust you anymore or even stand the sight of you if I’m being honest. You have given me something that I can't live without, you mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But this is where our story ends.” 
Wiping her tears with the sleeve of her jumper, she stands up stronger and taller than ever before. 
“You can sleep on the sofa or head to Sharon’s I know Steve said he’d be staying with Sam and Nat. Tomorrow I’ll be taking the kids to our new house and then I guess we’ll go from there” Shrugging her shoulders as she doesn’t know what else to say to him. “Goodnight James, I truly hope you all the best”
Once in the comfort of her bedroom she listens to hear his movements but all she can hear are his cries. Smiling sadly, she climbs into the bed, she fears the unknowing of what her future holds whilst also excited for it.
For the first time since she found out about her husband’s affair she sleeps peacefully.
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~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
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