#first try was years ago and i gave up very fast because i couldn't even figure out how to draw on it. it Did Not Work

[knifegremliin]

gonna say it outright. the only other program on that poll that doesn't suck to me is ms paint. can't entirely speak for procreate because i've never used it and i'm barred out of ever using it. but i get the feeling i'd hate it too

[eufezco]

IMGONNAGETYOUBACK

Set during Avengers: Endgame, you time travel to 1943 to see Bucky but you end up meeting a very different version of him.

bucky x fem!reader (angst) + no use of y/n. english isn't my first language (!)

You were leaning on the doorframe, watching as Hulk, Nebula and Rhodey fixed Scott Lang's time travel suit. Clint Barton was by your side, you both had shared some suspicious glances after seeing how Scott was behaving. He was restless, throwing deadly looks at anyone who dared to handle the Pym Particles, constantly moving and deconfiguring the suit over and over again.

—I'm not ready to do this —. Scott finally confessed with a sigh.

—I'll do it. I'm ready —. You said right after. You volunteered so quickly as if you had been waiting for Scott to quit to take his place.

Nebula, Rhodey and Hulk looked at each other and slowly nodded. Scott felt relieved that he didn't have to do it himself and you couldn't be more prepared. Since the idea of time travel had been around the team, only one thought had been in your head. Only one person was in your thoughts and you had to get back to him any way you could.

You put on the time travel suit and you walked towards the huge Quantum Tunnel that they had built. Natasha, Clint, Rocket and Thor decided to join Nebula, Rhodey and Hulk in monitoring the test. Steve arrived at the last moment when he knew you were going to be the one who was going to time travel.

You stepped onto the big platform and waited for directions. If any of them asked you at that moment if you were nervous, you would say no, but the truth was that your hands were shaking, there were drops of cold sweat sliding down your forehead and your heart was beating hard and fast against your chest. You just hoped this would work.

—It may make you nauseous but it is completely normal, you are going to travel across the Quantum Realm to the past. I'm going to send you back a week, let you walk around for ten minutes which for us will be ten seconds. So I'll count to ten and we'll bring you back.

You nodded to everything Hulk was explaining.

—Are you ready?

—Actually —You cleared your throat. Everyone looked at you thinking you were going to quit —. Could you send me back to 1943?

—That's quite a leap in time. It may be dangerous. Why don't we start by trying something a bit less—?

—I don't care. When we travel back in time, we will not travel back to a week ago. We can't waste time.

The big green man was surprised but quickly touched a few buttons and fixed it to send you to the date you told him. Everyone seemed confused except Steve who immediately understood why you had volunteered for the time travel test.

Natasha and Clint also knew your intentions when you mentioned that specific year, they didn't know what happened in 1943 but they knew how hard you had fought to have Bucky with you. From fighting Tony Stark, one of your closest friends, to travel to Wakanda to work with Shuri to remove the Winter Soldier program from him. All of that until he was blipped by Thanos.

But no one knew it as well as Steve. He had seen you mourn the loss of Bucky more than three times, that was why he was looking at you from his position with an approving expression on his face while he nodded to you. —Good luck. You got this —. Steve said and his words gave you the security you needed to make that travel calm.

—Are you sure it will be good for her to do that? —Natasha whispered to Steve.

He shook his head. It was a terrible idea, going back to the past to see him and then coming back to the present and not having him. It would only comfort you momentarily and would make his loss even more painful. If Steve had known why you wanted to travel to the past before, he would have tried to convince you not to do it but now it was too late and he could only support your decision as Hulk counted down to three and you were sent into the Quantum Realm.

As you traveled, you tried to stop spinning around because if you didn't you would have worse nausea but you found it impossible. You were thankful that it was short and went fast and when you realized, you were shot into 1943 as you came back to your normal size.

You fell to the ground in the crowd. You looked around, surprised by the fact that the time travel had worked. You caught the attention of everyone around you, the ladies gasped and the gentlemen bent down to help you get back on your feet, you felt the nausea that Hulk had told you about but you managed to control it. The people around you asked you if you were okay, if you had hurt yourself.

—You must be a big fan of Mr. Howard Stark, Miss. Your clothes are really futuristic, did you sew them?

You looked at your time travel suit and then looked at the clothes the people around you were wearing. The women wore long dresses, the men top hats and walking sticks. You couldn't believe it actually worked. You nodded, going along with them.

—I am looking for a man. I have lost him in the crowd —You smiled kindly even though you were scared to death. Your hands were shaking, you didn't know how the lump in your throat was letting you speak. The man you were talking to you nodded, understanding your situation. —He is a Sergeant, his name is James Barnes. Brown hair and blue eyes. People know him as Bucky.

The man shook his head and apologized for not being able to help.

The time-space GPS that Tony made beeped once. You had already used half of your time. You felt a pressure in your chest that made it hard for you to breathe and that urged your feet to move quickly through the crowd. Shoving people out of your way, pushing those who didn't want to move. The test was a success, you had traveled back to 1943 but you needed to find him before you ran out of time.

Your heart stopped every time you ran into a man dressed in a military uniform, crossing your fingers wishing that they were Bucky and cursing every time you found out they were not.

And then your feet stopped all of a sudden when you saw him in profile at the candy apple stand. You remembered that that day you also bought two candy apples and the way you and him laughed when you realized that you had had the same idea. Bucky was talking to the owner with a smile on his lips, he was young and in love, he was going to a war that would give him a lot of recognition, he had so many reasons to show that big smile of his.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't realize that he started walking away in search of your 1943 self. Your breath quickened as you saw that you were going to lose him in the crowd.

You called his name once, too quiet for him to hear you. Your feet started to follow him while you called his name again but he didn't hear you that time either. You started walking faster and calling his name louder, your heart beating so hard against your chest that you thought it was going to burst out of you. Bucky was walking fast and the noise of the people and the exhibition was too loud. You ran to reach him when your time-space GPS began to beep uncontrollably.

—No, no, no, no... —You complained.

And then you shouted his name and Bucky turned around but by then the helmet of your suit had already closed and you were quantum.

You were so angry as you traveled back to the present. You hit your suit hard, you hit your helmet hoping it would shatter and the tunnel would spit you out at some point in the timeline where you and Bucky were still together. And then you hit your time-space GPS and the tunnel instead of pushing you into the present sucked you back into the past.

You fell to your knees in a cold room. It didn't take you long to realize that it was a cell. Behind the bars, there were several armed men, but on the other side of them, there was only you and Bucky.

You were at his feet. You gasped when you looked up and saw him, sitting in that torture-like chair with the vibranium marked with the red star rebuilding his left arm. Bucky looked at you with a slight frown, he was disoriented, seeing Steve that day at the bridge, his friend calling that familiar name, and now your face that was so familiar to him appearing out of nowhere inside his cell... All that had managed to bring back some fuzzy memories that only made him more confused.

Bucky did not take his eyes off you, his fists were clenched in a defensive position but he did not seem to have any intention of attacking you. His frown confused you, you thought he was furious but he was actually terrified, he was gaining consciousness and he did not know how to handle it. Your eyes began to fill with tears when you saw the symbol of Hydra on the wall behind him.

—I know you. You are the girl from the bridge. You were there with him.

You nodded and wiped your tears with the back of your hand. There was no sign of the cheerful soldier you had seen a few seconds ago. —Yes, yes, yes. That was me, Bucky.

There was that name again,

At that moment your time-travel GPS beeped.

The guards keeping Bucky's cell turned in alarm when they heard the beeping sound. Once they saw you, they started yelling for the door of the cell to open while pointing their guns at you. You turned to look at them in fear, the bars began to open slowly, they were going to come in at any moment. You focused on Bucky again and crawled over to him. He was breathing heavily as he watched the guards about to go in.

—Buck, listen to me —You grabbed his hands. He laid his eyes on you. —This is not you. We're going to get you out of here. Steve, the man from the bridge, and I are doing everything we can. We will fight for you and someday you will be free. This isn't going to last forever I promise.

You heard the military boots coming into the cell and walking to you. You didn't have much time. You threw yourself at Bucky and hugged him. He stood still, his arms didn't hug you back while your hands encircled his neck and pressed your body against his hot, naked chest.

—Everything is gonna be all right I promise —.You sobbed in his ear.

The guards grabbed you by your arms and fought to take you away from Bucky but you fought even harder to stay with him. In the end they managed to get you away from him.

—Wipe him and execute her.

You kicked and cried as the guards dragged you out of the cell. The guards strapped Bucky to the chair, they put a gumshield in his mouth, his chest heaved as he gasped for air. Bucky kept looking at you as the guards tried to get you to your knees. The panels on either side of Bucky's head began to lower over his face, one of them covered his left eye, the other one covered his right cheek. You closed your eyes tightly and looked away as Bucky began to scream in pain.

As the guards were holding your arms you could not even cover your ears. His screams were unbearable. Your cheeks were wet from all the crying. You fought even harder against the hold of the guards but they hit the back of your knees and knocked you to your knees. Your GPS started beeping uncontrollably. You heard as they loaded the gun and put the barrel against the back of your head. Before they could pull the trigger, you became quantum.

While you traveled back to the present, you could still hear Bucky screaming, ripping his throat, and biting down hard on the gumshield, you could still see his terrified blue eyes looking directly at you. And you could do nothing for him, it would be years before you could help him. You covered your head with your arms and screamed, trying to silence Bucky's cries with your own.

Steve quickly went up to the platform when you came back. Natasha and Clint followed him. You were on your knees on the floor, curled up in a ball, with your arms still covering your head. Steve wrapped his arms around you even though you tried to push him.

As your tears soaked Steve's shirt, he turned to look at the rest of the team. —It worked.

[mydearneteyam]

Heyy, i already made a request abt a Aonung x Albino Navi/Navi from a cold region and u wanted that the request were more specific so im just going to give u more ideas:

Like i was thinking the reader is like a messenger (i think that its the word) from her clan for the exchange of materials between the two clans, so Aonung and the reader saw eachother before and it was like love at first sight (u can change this if u want tho but i imagine like aonung felt so attracted to them bcs it was like something new to him and he was curious 😭💕) so when they finally talk they pass a lot of time together learning about each other and their clans

And idk if u wanna write this but i also imagine like when Aonung try to court reader probably Ronal would be a bit against that cuz the reader definitely doenst look like any other navi and also they are from a very different place and she wants someone good for her son and the clan, but this its optional tho 💕

FRIENDS DON'T ;; AO'NUNG

summary ;; maybe only three days of five at your side were enough to gather courage.

pairing ;; ao'nung x fem!albino!cold-region!na'vi! reader

warnings ;; none

word count ;; 1.8k

word of the day ;; herwì [ˈhɛɾ.wɪ] n. snow

first a/n ;; i really like the idea because it kinda remind be of that movie of tinker bell ?? anyways, i tried my best !! hope to get your expectations ¡!

As the rain came down hard you couldn't help but give a yawn at the horizon. The afternoon had passed too quickly for your liking and, having arrived at Awa'atlu and set things up for the next few days, there wasn't much to do anymore. You began to count down the times for tomorrow, where you should first talk to the younger ones, or perhaps the boys your age, so that they would learn how to conserve the medicinal flora.

"I thought you preferred to hide" the voice of that boy made you smile and you denied.

"Only when the sun comes up."

You had met Ao'nung maybe seven years ago, the first time your parents allowed you to accompany them. It was a cold winter, before humans could approach the snowy mountains of your clan where at present, they were already settling. You remembered how you had run your hands through the water, excited to smell new scents and meet new people. You remembered the warmth inside your big coat that tried to cover you and also, of course, you remembered the faces of those who welcomed you to their lands.

"She is our daughter, we hope that in the future she will be the designated messenger for these islands, Tonowari" your father spoke, extending his pale hand to yours which despite being covered, was the same shade. Looking up you bumped into the one who was the chief, with his partner and hidden behind the Tsahìk were their eldest son and the youngest daughter.

You didn't really like it when your parents introduced you to other clans in the mountains. Not only because they might see you as weak or clumsy due to your moon-shiny skin, but also because they often wanted to get their hands on the 'gift of Eywa'. However, from Ronal's gaze you immediately picked up that your physique was not something that caught her attention in the least and even, she seemed to disown it, looking at you with disdain when she passed by you those five days you stayed as a young na'vi.

"The previous winter you didn't come. I thought--we thought you wouldn't come this time" the boy corrected himself ominously, positioning himself to one side of you, feeling how the rain was gradually lowering its intensity.

"You missed me?" by the way he looked at you, you noticed he was surprised by your comment, but when you laughed he could only roll his eyes.

"Please, you?" he grumbled, smiling. "You people teach slow, that's all. I had a hard time understanding them. I needed my designated teacher" he gave a false explanation to which you added other words with derision.

"Or maybe we are too fast for you" you started to walk back to the marui, but he took your hand. It felt warm, unlike yours which was always cold.

"Where are you going, are you planning to hide?"

"Show, actually."

...

Ao'nung wasn't an idiot. He knew that since the first winter his feelings for you had begun to blossom, ironic as it seemed. Though there was always something that made him recoil when he sought to express himself to you. Perhaps the idea that by having a beauty beyond perfection -according to him- you would be paired with someone from the snowy mountains, maybe because he belonged to the water and you to the snow or simply, the voice of his mother and friends was stuck deep in his mind and heart. But there was always something that stopped him from showing you his true personality.

His sister called him childish, but for him there was no other way to express himself to you. Give you a necklace? Not at all, he'd rather you find it and he'd just tell you that when you found it it was yours. Express directly how he wanted to court you? Those words would never come out of his lips.

"Why are we here?" he asked, escorting you to the marui where there were some furs.

"You told me my people teach too slow, so I'll teach you from now on" you shrugged to the side and began to speak.

But while, your voice was calm when you spoke and it was one of the things he admired most about you, he couldn't help but notice your braids, adorned with brown feathers that highlighted your colorless hair. You pointed and traced with your pale fingers the animal skins you brought from your lands, but now he looked at your eyes, similar to his, blue, no, yours were the color of the water between his hands, light blue.

"…Over there they don't grow, but here they do, so with them you can adjust them and they will remain as the drums for the return of the tulkun" you finished explaining.

The rain had returned and with your poor vision, you could only see things sharply from up close. You wondered if it was his hair, maybe his eyes, but something made you notice that the boy's presence was much closer than before.

"You understood, didn't you?" you preferred to believe it was just your condition about bad view and noticed that the boy nodded. "Well, would you rather I talk to you now about-?" but he interrupted you.

"Customs. Tell me about the customs of your clan" you blinked a couple of times and cocked your head.

Customs? It wasn't necessary. Nothing had to do with them in that winter's delivery.

"What, did I speak like an animal? Come on, tell me" at his insistence, you had no choice but to explain.

First you named the ways of hunting you had, explaining with a smile how unlike the forests, there were animals with thicker skin and even fur, so they were used for clothing, especially for you or your parents, who had to take more care of their skin.

Then you talked about the artistic expressions, showing him the designs of the baskets, then telling him about the tattoos of his clan, comparing them to the face paintings in your clan. You continued to explain to him for so long that the freedom felt incredible, at least until your mother walked in, surprised.

"Oh, it's time for dinner" she reported, putting on her best smile.

As you both made your way to the place, the boy couldn't help but notice that you were attentive to everything around you and whispered, behind your mother's back.

"If you want, tomorrow I can show you a couple of things about my clan" and your smile was enough to make his heart pound, almost silencing the insecurities deep inside his body.

...

"It's not funny!" you spoke once you surfaced, having been knocked down by the ilu you had tried to hold on to and which, because of your nerves, shot out. Ao'nung's laughter was impossible to mistake and that alone made you give a grunt as you returned to his side.

"You said it was like going fishing, but you don't look to me like your fish are the size of an ilu" he put a hand on his waist, amused and quieting his laughter little by little.

"Apparently you listen to my words, huh" you folded your arms.

The day was for Ao'nung to allow himself to show you around and explain his clan to you every time you finished teaching your classes to his people. This he told his parents and, Tonowari, happy to see that his son at least once in his life was doing something for pleasure and not by command, decided to assign him that task. Besides, soon both he and you would be village chiefs and this tradition would have to continue for several generations so that the exchange of goods would be normalized.

Now, his mother was more… careful with the change in the boy's personality, after all, she was his mother, especially when she heard her son's arrival so late after the first day. Then the second.

By the third day, the two were debating methods of courtship.

"Competitions? Really?" he questioned when he came in from the hunt to your marui. You nodded.

"For example, if you have three suitors, they must face various tests. Sled races, fire dancing, there are several" you listed. "My favorite is the Säwem!"

"Säwem? Like… Fighting?" he grimaced in confusion, but you could tell how interested he was.

"Not with each other, of course. But with yourself." you clarified. "Do you consider yourself good for that person? How would you rate your efforts? How far would you go for that person? It can be internal or external factors, and you can also struggle with it spiritually or physically."

You continued with the explanation and Ao'nung felt a pain in his chest as his mouth went dry. What he felt could be a form of courtship? He even found it funny.

"…My father once stayed under a blizzard to try on mom" you recalled, laughing. "I mean, they were paired up, but still, he wanted to prove to her that he was worthy."

He wanted to consider himself worthy. Him. Just him. He didn't want someone else from your clan to try any of those things. He didn't want to know that other boys were fighting over you, even if it was at races or dances. He wanted to-

"I would do that for you" his words came out matter-of-factly. You were surprised, but his own face showed you that he was much more shocked to say it out loud.

You looked away and felt your cheeks blush a little. You felt annoyed that your own skin could give you away so easily. "Friends don't need that kind of courtship" you tried to push the idea away, embarrassed, but right now, the boy had already screwed up and there was no way to take it back.

"No, friends don't" he acknowledged, moving a little closer to you. "Friends don't" he arranged one of your albino braids carefully and looked at you. He wasn't the Ao'nung that teased you as a child. He wasn't the boy who stuck his tongue out at you, hiding behind his mother. He wasn't the one who laughed at you with his friends.. It was Ao'nung. Your Ao'nung…. "May I-" but you didn't give him time until you moved closer and kissed the corner of his lips.

You both looked at each other for a while and your cheeks were already between a very strong purple and pink.

"Sorry. I forgot my vision wasn't the best. I wanted to kiss your lips" you admitted, covering your mouth with one of your hands.

He pushes your hand away with his, laughing, and intertwines your fingers. His laughter surrounded you and so did his arms.

For him, 'Moon skin' as his mother used to say with unpleasant voice matched perfectly.

a/n ;; I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT RONAL BUT I THOUGHT THAT JUST LIKE THIS IT WAS PERFECT BECAUSE THEY ARE HAPPY OKAY IM SRRY 😭😭😭😭ALSO, I INVENTED SO MANY THINGS??? james cameron squirms on the set of Avatar 3 istg i was listening to "calling after me" by wallows while i was writing this btw

[libby-for-life]

Okay well, I was wondering if you'll be for Michael visiting Adam at the Hotel.

Context: Adam is willing participating in the Redemption idea, which is a shock to everyone, since they thought he wouldn't be for it. When questioned about it, Adam says he misses his husband (they don't know it's Michael, he just says 'husband'). Which is even more of a shock, which Adam is confused/annoyed by, they just assumed he straight, yet he never said he actually was🤷🏽‍♀️. Fast forward a few days and The Archangel Michael pays a little visit. The Hotel finds out that the 'Husband' in question is him.

Bonus: Michael calls Adam his Wife🤭

Extra Bonus: one-sided Adamsapple; Lucifer thinking he has a chance with Adam, when he's 10,000 years too late

Can Michael and Lucifer not look alike? Because some people have Michael as a blue copy and paste version of Lucifer and that gets annoying real fast. Michael can be taller and buffer, the guy is basically the General of Heavens Army.

I got you, anon. Michael x Lucifer. Unrequited Adamsapple.

Adam let out a deep sigh, his brow furrowing slightly as he listened to Charlie's latest proposal for redemption. While he appreciated her optimism and idealism, he couldn't help but harbor doubts about the practicality of her plan. However, not wanting to dampen her spirits, he nodded in agreement, resolving to give it a try despite his reservations. As another sigh escaped him, Charlie picked up on his unease and turned to him, her voice soft and concerned, "Adam? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I guess I'm just missing my husband," Adam said with a shrug, his voice tinged with a hint of longing as he looked at his ring. His husband was a pillar of strength, exuding a quiet fortitude that belied the warmth and kindness he shared with Adam and those around him. His smile had a captivating power to illuminate any space, a quality that had initially drawn Adam to him when they first met in the realm of Eden. Adam had harbored feelings for his husband for what felt like an eternity but had only found the courage to confess his deep admiration over a hundred years ago.

It felt like the room went silent as Adam realized he was being stared at. "What?" He asked as he felt all eyes on him. "I'm sorry, you're gay?!" Vaggie said and Adam couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows. "Well, bisexual, but I don't really see why it's such a big deal.

"Not a big deal?!" Angel Dust screamed. "You mean I could have a chance with you?!" Adam shook his headq and flashed his ring. "I'm married, remember? I would have said no. I don't know why this is such a big surprise. It's not my fault you guys assumed."

"Because it's you?" Vaggie said with a dismissive hand. "You sound and act like the straightest guy around." Adam glared. "Again. You just assumed. That is not my fault and I have no obligation to tell you who I'm attracted to." Vaggie had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Adam! I'm so happy for you!" Charlie said with the biggest grin. "Who is he? Does he want to come visit?" Adam shrugged with a small smile. "He said he would come in about a week. You can meet him then."

While everyone talked about Adam being married, who would have thought that, Lucifer was silent through it all. Adam? Married? Please. Lucifer knew the First Man. No one would be dumb enough to like the guy let alone marry him. The Devil tried to push down the feelings of jealousy he was feeling.

He knew Adam. If anyone should get to be with him, it was Lucifer.

The next week couldn't come fast enough for Adam as he made sure he wore his best piercings and his favorite band shirt. He also wore the pants that showed ass quite well. He had to look the very best for his husband.

As he walked out, he almost ran into Lucifer. Adam tried not to shiver at the look he gave him. "Sorry. I have to go." The First Man said quickly before speed-walking away. He didn't like the long looks the Devil gave him.

Entering the lobby, he smiled at Charlie as she hung a banner in honor of his husband. "You sure you don't want to wear something a little...nicer?" Vaggie said with a look of distaste at his outfit choice. Adam rolled his eyes. "Look. You know what Charlie likes, right?"

Vaggie gave a hesitant nod. "Well, I know my husband. Trust me. He'll like what I'm wearing. Besides. It definitely isn't for you to like." The former angel looked down. "Sorry."

Adam nodded as the sound of a door being knocked was heard. He quickly ran to it and opened it. He smiled down at his husband who grinned back at him. "Adam. My dear, you look as radiant as ever."

The First Man giggled. "And so do you, Michael. Come in." Everyone held their breath as the Archangel Michael entered to room. He had the same traits as Lucifer but other than hair and skin color, they looked nothing alike.

For one, he was taller than Lucifer. He had a muscular build that rivaled most resistances of Heaven. His long hair was combed neatly and his eyes were a shimmering blue. Compared to Lucifer who looked like a twink standing next to him, it was hard to tell they were brothers.

"Oh my God. You're husband is Michael? The Michael?!" Husk said, dropping his beer bottle. Adam nodded as his husband grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. Adam came back up with a blushing face.

Lucifer stared at the two with a dark look. Of course, Adam's husband was Michael. And it seemed he had gained muscles from the last time he saw him. He looked as perfect as ever and he couldn't help how his eyes turned red when he saw a hand reach down to Adam's ass and squeeze. The First Man blushed and turned to look at his husband with adoring eyes.

It wasn't fair.

"Do you mind showing us to your room, Adam? I want to show you how much I missed my wife."

[islandtarochips]

I'm Just a Man

I keep hearing the part of THIS Epic: The Musical song from "I'm Just A Man". Of where the part that says, "But WHEN, does a COMET becomes a METEOR."

And I couldn't help but to think each of those lyrics matched with WTF. I will typed down the lyrics that matched with the WTF and I'll explained as much detailed as I can. To tell you WHY it matches them!

Ok, here is the song that I got from TikTok for you guys to understand of what song that I'm TALKING about!

Now let's start with this, shall we?

"But when, does a COMET become a METEOR?"

For this lyrics. I believe that AELAN KALANI fits this one really well. Because for the COMET part explains that they can't predict of when the comet comes down. Same thing for Aelan as she was nervous of serving her first patient. Not knowing of what she was doing. Afraid that she'll messed up.

But with the METEOR part. They practical, logical, and task-oriented. Just like Aelan right NOW. She had became the best Medic in the Army. Always know what she was doing and is fast enough to patch up ANY injuries they have. So that's why she is the perfect matched with this lyrics.

"When does a CANDLE become a BLAZE?"

Pretty sure AGNES "BLAST" FALAGI fit this one! And yes, it's because of her codename...what? I couldn't help it. It was just...right THERE.

I know a CANDLE personality is different than the BLAZE. But I'm just gonna stick with this one. I mean, from a candle light to a BIG fearsome BLAZE. Am I wrong?

"When does a MAN become a MONSTER?"

.........ok. I know I said I will explained in details of as to why the lyrics MATCH. But I'm gonna save this one until I get to the story for the FUTURE. And to tell you WHO. This will be TIALA "SHARK" TOA.

"But when does a RIPPLE become a TIDAL WAVE?"

This will fit for NIGEL "SQUIRREL" HARRISON. For the word RIPPLE, it describes him as he was trying to fit in with the Shadow Company. But his personality and his behavior aren't very fitting into this group. And they were surprised that Graves is TOLERATING his behavior, even he was surprised. And after the incidents from Las Almas. He made a HUGE step of leaving the Shadow Company and joining with the Warriors Task Force. THAT'S when he became a TIDAL WAVE.

"When does the REASON become the BLAME?"

One soldier lost under HER command. Under ALANA KALANI'S command. If you read her bio about her being the Lieutenant General and had given orders/permission for her soldiers to go on that mission. She had lost ONE. One out of many. For the REASON of his death is because SHE had led him and his men there. Without knowing the consequences. So the BLAME of his death and some (or MOST) of her other men as well is cause by HER.

"When does a MAN become a MONSTER?"

And last but not least...this one match with KANOA TOA. I know most of his team and some of his close friends sees him as a happy man who can't take things seriously. But did they even KNOW of what he did 5 years ago? That mission that he went to save his sister? He wasn't the same man after receiving the news about her being MIA. He HUNTED those enemies and interrogating them with no mercy until they gave him the answer of where his sister been kidnapped. Sometimes his interrogation can be...a bit overboard too (Which I will NOT show it here...). But after that mission and a year later. He became that happy man again (Not really...). So yeah, that MAN he was before will soon come out to show his true MONSTER.

Imma just gonna tagged these two for they are an Epic: The Musical fan! Just like me!

@deeptrashwitch @justasmolbard

Love you peles!😙❤️

[sofasoap]

Thistle and Thorn

Pairing: Kind of Simon "Ghost " Riley x f!Reader ( OC aka Mini MacTavish ) + Johnny " Soap " MacTavish + Captain John Price

Summary : Everyone's worst nightmare comes true. Something you don't even want to think about. EVER.

Warning: ANGST. PURE ANGST. Mature theme , death , swearing. English isn't my first language so expect a lot of mistakes with tenses. Not beta'd.

A/N : seriously, I don't know WHY the hell I am doing this to myself.

Thanks to @saltofmercury for agreeing to my silly fic request and also kindly letting me using her ideas/fic and expand the story from there. I promise her I'll always credit her story because she is my muse * holding Saltofmercury up high lion king style Continuation/parallel universe of “The Favorite MacTavish” , where the reader/OC is Soap's little sister.

“masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse. ( AKA the true happy endings )

You knew something wasn't right when Johnny didn't come home for Christmas as promised, what is even weirder was there was zero update from Gaz ( who you actually became good gossiping buddy during downtime), or Captain Price, even Ghost.

"I am sure Johnny and the team just stuck somewhere with the heavy snow, the weather been dreadful this winter. They will be home soon. " Ma comforted you as you voice your worry.

You came home a week earlier, excited as you finally get to see Johnny again after half a year and scoring victory in " who gets Christmas off " battle when your shift manager was organising everyone's holiday leaves.

Sure, for his line of work, it is hard to expect them to see their family often or even come home on time. But this time you just have this dreaded feeling you haven't felt for ages, like the time before Aunty Esme and Uncle Evan's fatal car crash. You have a strange sixth sense which is pretty much dead on ( excuse the pun ) everytime there's a death in the family.

Sitting by your bedroom window on second floor, you saw a Jeep pulling up towards your parent's front door. Immediately got up, grabbing a hoodie and making your way downstairs thinking its Johnny finally coming home and ready to greet him.

Walking through the hallway towards the staircase, you heard a man's voice, follow by your Ma's anguish cry, you ran downstairs as fast as you can. There you see Captain Price, with bandage peeking through his bonnie hat and he look like he has aged ten years. Your Da holding onto your Ma, comforting her with red brim eye, trying to hold it together at same time.

".. What is going on? Uncle Price? where is the rest of the team? where is Johnny?... Where is Ghost? " You started calling Price " Uncle " when rest of the squad jokes about how Price is like the uncle of the squad and the rest of them are like rowdy teenage kids.

Price just shook his head, beckoning you move closer to the front door. he hold his hand out, and you automatically reach forward , palms up.

Two dog tags. TWO. You swallow hard. Hands shaking.

" I am sorry Mini... Gaz and I barely made it out ourselves...we couldn't.. " he took a deep breath, word stuck in his throat. Reaching into his pocket instead, taking out a little Polaroid photo, a little laminated paper with dried thistle and put it on top of the dog tags in your palm.

It's a photo of you and a very begrudge looking Ghost, looking away from the camera. Both of you look like you been off your head. This was the photo that was taken after you met Ghost for the first time and narrowly lost to him after the drinking game.

The thistle, you made it into dry flower, laminated it onto piece of paper and gave it to Johnny when he came home years ago, announcing proudly he was selected to join the 22nd Regiment, elite force specialising in counter-terrorism.

" Good luck charm for you Johnny."

" A thistle?"

" Ya, well, other than it represent us Scot, you know what the meaning of thistle is? resilience, strength, determination, protection and pride. I want my favourite sibling to come home in one piece everytime. "

" I am your ONLY sibling. "

"And I love you too."

You knew this day will eventually come. The day Cousin Alec dragged Johnny into joining the army , you knew somehow you will lose them on the battlefield. Part of you wish they will come home in one piece, every time, after mission, and discharge honourably and move onto some safer or non-combating jobs.

You barely heard what Price said, " ... Ghost always have this photo with him all the time in his pocket. He look at it quite often, but he wouldn't admit it. " You hadn't had the chance to tell him how you feel. Now you will never have the chance again. EVER.

" hey Soap "

" ... yes Ghost? "

"Two gold fishes in a tank. "

"... you told me that joke before. "

"... Soap. "

" Ghost. "

"... I am taking Mini out on a date next time we go home."

" .... Are you asking for my permission?"

" I am telling you. I am not asking for permission."

"Ghost."

" Soap."

"Don't fuck around with my sister."

".. I wouldn't hurt her. I will never hurt her."

I am sorry.

Usually I am a happy ending person.. look, you can read this as a AU and "non canonical ( pff sounds like I own CoD, but I DON'T ) ending to the Mini MacTavish universe, because I don't want them to have bad ending. I just want to get this out from my head.

[munofsilver]

Split Monkey Family 3

Finally posted an update. Sorry, it took so long. AO3 link. Summary: The seal is gone, and Demon Bull King returns to play after he is reunited with his family. MK has his first fight, kind of.

Both Macaque and Yue Yan felt something once the seal was removed. The little cub woke up crying because of fear. Macaque stops eating and picks up his scared daughter. He was rocking her back and forth while humming. 

"It's okay, my plum blossom. You're safe here," Macaque tries to calm Yue Yan down. 

In his mind, he knows what the power they felt was. Someone removed the seal he placed on DBK Mountain Prison. The question is, who did it? Macaque made it so that only Wukong, or himself, could remove it. That's how he remembered making that seal centuries ago. There is no reason for Wukong to remove it. MK doesn't even know anything about it. He's also unsure if MK can even do it. 

Macaque's six ears perk up. He never put his glamor back on. Making a cubsitter, Macaque rushes out. The clone and cub stare at each other, and then Yue Yan cries again, scaring the shadow clone. 

Looking for something to watch on TV, Wukong felt the same power surge. He dropped the chip bag he was holding and swallowed the chip in his mouth. 

"What in the underworld was that?" 

Wukong calls out, standing up. 

"That felt like, but it couldn't. I didn't remove the seal, and I know Macaque never would."  

It takes a moment for the thought to enter Wukong's head. 

"If I'm right and Macaque finds out, he will kill me. At least I will get to see him again. I do miss him," Wukong sighs, then he shakes his head, "No time for that." 

As fast as the wind, Wukong rushes out the door. 

The Demon Bull King overlooks the two below him. He is focusing on his hands. 

"Flesh. Bone. I have returned to the realm of the living," he deeply laughs. 

"Yes, my dear, thanks to these two." 

A feminine voice is heard behind Mei and MK, making them both turn around to see Princess Iron Fan and Red Son. 

PIF stares at her husband while Red Son glares at the peasants. He looks down at them in disgust. PIF walks past the pair and stands next to her love.

"Oh, Demon Bull King. How I've missed you." 

"Princess Iron Fan. The years have been kind to you." 

The happy couple kisses, making Mei dry-hearted. MK has a sad look on his face. Seeing them reminds him of his fathers. He wishes Macaque had never left. Then, he would have met his sister sooner, among other things.  

"Yuck," Mei makes a disgusted face. 

Mei's remark draws the attention of the whole Demon Bull Family. They all glare down at them. MK stares at Mei as she covers her mouth with her hands. 

"Oops," she nervously laughs. 

MK nervously laughs as well, "Do you guys like noodles? I know a great place you will like." 

"It seems a waste to crush something so insignificant as my first act as ruler of this new world, but so be it," DBK snorts. 

That comment makes Mei mad. 

"Insignificant!" She roars. 

"Mei, not now," MK whispers. 

 "Wait, Father," Red Son finally said something. 

It seems DBK didn't like it. He turns around, gives his son a wicked death glare, and makes him gulp.

He clears his throat, "Ahem, waste not your energy on these two peasants. Please allow me to show you how powerful I have become in your absence."  

It sounds like Red Son is trying to gloat and failing. At least his father might have bought it. 

"As you wish," DBK steps down. 

"Maybe this is our chance to escape," MK whispers. 

"Why do that?" Mei whispers back. 

MK gave Mei a look she knew well—a look that said, "Listen to me, I mean it." When MK gives her that look, she always listens. 

Red Boy suddenly stands in front of them. 

"In some ways, you two are very fortunate, Noodle Boy and random girl. Not many insects are lucky enough to be stamped out by the Demon Bull Family."

Mei was about to say something when MK stopped her. With his eyes, he pointed to an exit. MK had heard stories about PIF and DBK from Tang, but he was curious if they were real or if he could take them, even with all his training from his father. 

"Are you even listening to me!? I, Red Son, will not be disrespected! You're both history!" 

He pulls out this huge power glove and puts it on. Sparks come off of it in many places. 

"I was going to use this to free my father. Now that I don't need to, I will use it on you two instead," Red Son gloats.  

Red Son gets ready to punch Mei when MK blocks the attack with his staff, but Red Son's power glove is too much, breaking the staff. Angering MK, his hands become fist-shaking in anger. 

"My father made me that staff. Both my fathers made that staff for me!" He roars as he uppercuts Red Son, sending the demon flying upwards. 

Mei is frozen in shock. She knew Wukong was training MK but never knew he had that much power. MK stares at his furry hand before the disguise returns. The other two were too busy staring at the dot in the sky, that is, their son, to see monkey MK. When Red Son landed in a crater, MK was dragging Mei back to the elevator. 

Embarrassed, Red Son isn't going to let them leave—not without a pounding, anyway. Crawling up from the hole, Red Son starts to flame up. When he notices the two running away, his eyes turn red, and his hair turns into fire. 

"No, you don't!" He yells, charging at them. 

His parents let him go after them as they celebrate reuniting. It's been a few centuries, after all. Plus, neither of them seems to care about MK or Mei. Their son can take care of them, and they don't want to waste this time apart from their son. 

The elevator doors closed in time for them to see Red Son approaching them. Red Son was able to open the doors with ease by melting them. He not only melts the doors but also the cables holding the elevator. Thinking fast, MK turns into a hawk and carries Mei down. 

"I'm so glad your father taught you 72 transformations," Mei sighed with relief. 

"Too bad I can only do animals," MK turns back.  

A massive tower of flame comes from where the elevator used to be, making the two remember Red Son is after them. Without his parents, Mei and MK think they can take him.

Above, PIF and DBK share a loving kiss when a hawk drops down on them, peeking DBK in the eye. Laning in front of them is the Monkey King himself. He crosses his arms and poses in a badass way. 

"I don't know how you got free, but I'm here to put you back, you naughty demon," Wukong grins. 

While he was a bird, he looked around and didn't see his son anywhere, which made Wukong worry and relieved at the same time until he saw MK's training staff broken on the ground. Then he became worried and angry. 

Wukong charged at DBK with his staff. He was about to strike DBK when a strong wind blew him back. 

"I'm not going to lose my husband again. We will retreat for now, but don't worry, my love. You will have your revenge soon enough." 

With another gust of wind, the two vanish. Wukong roars angrily to calm down. Then, he transforms into a hawk and flies off. 

A figure emerges from the shadows, picking up the broken training staff. Looking up in the sky, he sees a hawk flying away. 

"Don't worry, Sunshine, our son is unharmed."

Red Son steps out of the flames and towards the duo. Each step leaves a burnt footprint on the ground. He is grinning like an idiot, thinking he had already won before the fight even began, forgetting all about the free ride MK gave him earlier. 

"Well, well, Noodles boy and random girl, there's nowhere to run to now," Red Son laughs. 

Only to get punched in the face by Mei. Surprising Red Son and MK.

"I'm not a random girl. I'm a dragon girl!" Mei roars. 

They forgot the plan they half-assed made in about five minutes as she tried to copy the punch MK did earlier. Only to manage to knock Red Son back ten feet. Red Son wasn't even shocked, and he still had that grin on his face. 

"That did hurt, dragon girl. Not enough, though," he laughs. 

Mei looks at her hand, then back at MK. 

"I think it's time for you to make him fly again," she whispers to her friend. 

MK shrugs, "I don't know how I did it the first time."  

"We better do something," Mei gulps. 

They both looked at each other briefly before a clanging sound broke the staring contest. On the ground between the duo and Red Son is a golden staff. MK knew this staff right away. He looked up to see a hawk circling them. With a grin, he picked up his father's staff. 

"Stand back, Mei. I got this." 

MK twirls the staff above his head while walking towards his opponent. 

"You really think you can defeat me with a stick," laughs Red Son. 

He stops laughing when MK makes the staff stretch out and wacks him in the stomach, pinning the demon against the wall of the burnt elevator and causing the power glove Red Son was wearing to fall off. MK can hold his father's staff but can't use it well, so he drops it, freeing the fire boy. 

"That is not a normal stick," Red Son coughs. 

MK picks up the staff. Mei also gets into a fighting stance. She doesn't have a weapon, but she does have her fist.  

"Mei, I can handle this. Get out of here." 

"No way, Monkey Boy. You're staying, so I'm staying." 

With an eye roll of fine, MK charges at Red Son, twirling the staff over his head. He strikes at Red Son, but the fire demon jumps out of the way. He lands and gets punched in the back by Mei, turning around to get hit in the same spot by the staff. When Red Son surrounds his body in flames, MK uses the staff to pin him against a building. 

The wall collapsed on Red Son. MK and Mei used this to get away. Jumping on the dragon's bike, they speed off. MK was able to grab the staff as Mei drove by it. Red Son summons his own wheels to chase after them when his father lands before his son. PIF floats down next to her husband. 

"That's enough. You have failed. We will deal with those two later. I want to learn more about this new world," DBK snorts. 

"I agree," with a gust of wind, all three are gone. 

Mei doesn't stop until they reach Piggy's Noddles. She even ran a few red lights. Like all the other times, that's something to worry about when her parents get the tickets. MK gets off, and Mei drives off, cheering on about how fun tonight has been. 

"You did good, son," Macaque appears out of the shadows, "It seems you kept up with your training while I was gone," he smiles, "Don't worry, Yue Yan is fine," he says like he could read minds. 

MK takes out the seal from his pocket, "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't know…" 

Macaque stops MK by taking the seal, "It's not your fault. If anything, it's Wukong's for not telling you about Demon Bull King."

"Can you reseal him?" 

"Not with this. I will need to make a new seal and find a new prison," the dark-furred monkey sighs. 

Inside Macaque is cursing at Wukong. One of their biggest fights was when Wukong wanted Macaque to stop teaching MK seals and shadow magic. 

"You're saying that because you want our son to be just like you," Macaque roars angrily. 

"That's not true," Wukong hisses back. 

"Then why do you want me to….." 

"Because it's pointless. I want our son to know how to fight. How to defend himself, not run away like a coward." 

Wukong's look of anger is initially replaced by concern once he sees Macaque's look—a look of anger, hurt, and betrayal. 

"You didn't always think that way," Macaque walks away. 

That's the moment when Wukong realized what he said. 

"Macaque, wait." 

It was too late; his mate teleported away with his shadow portal. 

"Dad!" 

MK's shout brought Macaque back. 

"Are you okay?" 

Macaque looks at his son with a small smile, "I'm fine. I should be going now. Yue Yan needs me. I will make a new seal." 

Macaque falls into the new open shadow portal underneath his feet and soon returns home. 

Wukong came just in time to see the shadow portal close as he rushed to his son. 

"Macaque was here? What did he want? What did he say?" 

He shook his son as he asked those questions, and he didn't stop until MK broke his father's grip. Thinking fast, MK quickly tells Wukong. 

"Yes, dad was here. He wanted to know if I removed the seal. I did. I'm sorry, father. I didn't know what it was." 

Wukong looks hurt, not because MK removed the seal. 

"That's all he asked about?"          

MK stares at his father. Before he can say anything, Wukong is back at it, talking fast and shaking his son like before. 

"Do you know where he went? Are you sure he didn't say anything else? Have you seen him before today?" 

Again, MK breaks free but is now feeling dizzy. 

"I will tell you everything when we get home, Father. Please stop with that."

[rolesplay]

・┆✦GHOST STORIES — a haruno sakura/uchiha sasuke fanfic.

Her name was written in the memorial, her body laid to rest in the ground. Yet still she wouldn't leave. Couldn't leave.

It was a scene that should have happened years ago, at the hospital roof when they were younger. But their sensei, Kakashi Hatake, was there and stopped it just in time. The circumstances was different now, however.

They've grown up. All of them. Naruto had matured, earned more friends as years passed. Sasuke got stronger, and along it his hatred too. She too. No longer was she that young, lovesick twelve-year old little girl who lacks self-confidence.

And they weren't even in the hospital roof.

Sasuke had killed Danzou through one of his teammates and injured her much (was this really the boy who jumped in front of Naruto to save him from inevitable attacks or got very, very mad because he saw Sakura hurt badly?). Sakura decided to heal her, as Naruto fought the stubborn, revenge-obsessed boy while trying to reason with him.

She cried. She cried as she healed the redheaded girl that was now Sasuke's teammate. And when the girl was fully healed, she stood up, and went back where Sasuke and Naruto was fighting.

She saw it: chidori and rasengan. She thought: someone would definitely die.

She screamed. And ran. Ran and jumped between them.

The two saw, but the impact was something inevitable. They were running. The horrified look at Naruto's face, and the flicker of unsure in Sasuke's. It was all too fast.

A chidori through her chest, and a rasengan to her back.

And she smiled.

She stopped them. She had managed to do so.

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

She'll even bet that they'll stop fighting, even for awhile.

Sasuke slowly, slowly, pulled his hand away. Blood. There was blood.

"Sakura..."

How funny, this was her last thoughts before she actually died, that the boy who turned her down every time she gave him her heart, again and again, would be the one to literally pierce her beating heart. That the boy so close to her heart would be the reason for the gaping, painful hole in her back. That the boys—her boys, the ones who would protect her no matter what when they were younger—would be the reason for her death.

She smiled.

I love you.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She didn't know how or what happened exactly. First she died, and then light and then she spent sometime on a road, and as she walked on realized her memories were being reenacted. And she wished, she hoped very, very hard to not stay here. She didn't want to see her life again. If she's moving on, she can't have second thoughts on wanting to stay. Another blinding light.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

When she opened her eyes, she was in his room at the prison cells. He was reading a scroll.

Her wish was ungranted, it seemed. That stupid light just threw her back to the world of the living.

She snorted as she crossed her arms in front of her, walking behind him and looking at the scroll. "Training, even here? Whatever am I gonna do with you?"

She saw him flinch, and her eyes widened a bit.

"S-Sasuke-kun? Can you hear me?"

He shifted in his position, making it seem like he was pouring more attention to what he was reading.

She sighed. "Of course you don't. I'm betting you can't see me either."

His back was too straight, his body too stiff.

She wanted so badly to touch him reassuringly.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes she's there, sometimes she's not. It was rather disorienting.

But when he was finally released, still under probation, she went with him to his new apartment (it was the Council who picked it—good God, those people).

She noticed he paused and left the door open, and she mused that maybe it's to let her in. She's dead, and pretty much invisible, so musing about such couldn't hurt anyone, could it? (Except her, but that's fine, wasn't it? She's a ghost.)

"Well, the size is pretty much like Naruto's, huh?" she mumbled as she stepped inside.

When she was already safely inside, he had just managed to take off his sandals. He turned around, made a sound of annoyance because he noticed the door ajar, closed the door, and quickly strode across the room to another nearby door.

She looked on at the door he disappeared to sadly.

She decided she hated doors. They always knew—always remembered—how to close.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

There were times, when he visited the Uchiha clan house, and he would train at the backyard.

She would be there.

She would talk, about what happened when he was gone, about how she trained and hoped and waited, about the chūnin exams she retook, about Naruto leaving with Jiraiya.

She pretended he listened, somehow, that in some weird, weird way he could hear her.

"It's funny, isn't it? We all got trained under them Legendary Sannins. You under Orochimaru, Naruto under Jiraiya and me with shishuo."

She looked at him as he took a shuriken and threw it away, bending its path phenomenally.

"Team Seven, trained by the Copy-nin Kakashi Hatake. And then under the Legendary Sannins."

He threw a whole bunch of kunai this time, hitting all the targets at almost the same time.

"Do you think, we could've become legends too? I mean, it wouldn't be bad, would it?"

He stopped on his training, and stared down at the sword in his hand.

"Legends, huh," he mumbled rather audibly.

It was all Sakura could do not to gasp. She closed her eyes, scared to open them again because she's scared that he'd see her and then what would she do?

She only opened them again when the sound of pierced wood started again.

He never looked at her.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes, she would go with him when he goes around the town, ANBU nimbly following them—well, him—and people looking on in fear.

At those times he would usually end up on the bridge—the meeting place of Team Seven. He would just stand there, as if waiting for something that never comes.

It was when he would hold on to the wooden rails of the bridge and stare in the water or the sun that she would find herself beside him. She's only a few centimeters—millimeters, even—away, almostbut not touching.

She just can't bear the thought of her hand, her figure, her all, slipping through him.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Once, when she was in that world, he met a young man who looked a lot like Sasuke.

"You're dead," she blurted out.

Itachi merely inclined his head. "I thought you already knew that. After all, you are the Hokage's apprentice, aren't you?"

Sakura sighed. "I knew, I just... Why are you here? In this..." She gestured around. She wanted to call it her own personal hell but then what if it wasn't? "...purgatory...?"

An eyebrow rose. "You think this is purgatory?"

"I'm obviously not in the afterlife yet."

He chuckled. "You are right. Smart," he nodded in approval. "Just like a kunoichi should be."

"Not anymore..."

"But once a kunoichi, always one, right?"

She shrugged.

She should be angry with him—what he did to Sasuke and the rest of their clan was not nice. But what's the use of being angry with a person who's dead? Especially if the other party was also dead?

"I'm here to tell you what happened."

Her head snapped up, and she stared blankly at him.

She listened as the former ANBU relayed the tragic, tragic story of what was once an amazing clan which brought about its own destruction. The story of the boy who grew up too fast, the boy who gave up everything for his brother and village.

Sakura cried. For him and for his family and for his brother and for his—their—village.

When she recovered, he told her that she should stop him if his brother tried anything foolish.

"He listens to you," he said.

She replied, "he never does. Did. Whatever."

"Then why did he hesitate?" he asked, before leaving her alone again.

The image of Sasuke, taking his time to tell her thank you before he left when he could just walk away and leave her popped in on her mind.

Of his eyes before she died.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

It is during nighttime that she feels useless.

He would thrash about sometimes, shouting, calling his Mom, Dad, his brother. Sometimes, even her name. Why...? It would always be what he asked.

She would call his name listlessly.

It is during this time he would open his eyes and stare at her directly, and she would be at loss on what to do.

Sometimes he would even reach for her.

It takes all her willpower not to reach back.

Instead, when he's calmed down, she would lie down beside him and tell him the stories of the dead people she's met so far.

Stories of his ANBU brother ("He really, really loved you, you know?"), of Naruto's mom ("She's really close to your mom too. Kushina-sama actually considered Mikoto-san as a close friend.") of Dan-san ("You know when they say, 'Til death do us part'? I don't think Dan-san... well, he's still there, somehow. Watching over her.") and of Akasuna no Sasori ("I still can't believe I met him again. His sense of humor sucked big time, and he was a killer; but I'm glad all the same. I'm happy he found peace.").

She wondered when her fifth person would come.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She doesn't remember ever feeling this mad.

"I didn't die just so you could leave again!" she screamed. She felt frustrated and mad.

She was about to punch him, punch some sense into him, when he caught it.

He caught it.

Sasuke caught it.

Sasuke caught her fist, her hand.

For awhile she just stared at him.

She could feel him. It didn't make any sense.

"You... You see me."

She was flabbergasted. Shocked. Surprised.

"I always do," he replied as he slowly put down her hands. He didn't let go though.

"But I'm... But you... How..."

She took a deep breath, tried to make a coherent thought. She stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me though?" She asked softly. "You could've spoken to me."

She heard him mumble something in reply, but it was only the word hurt that she caught.

"I'm strong, you know," she smiled even when her heart was breaking (again) and tears were falling down her eyes (mentally, her medic side was wondering how it was possible, but then again she had been crying since she met different people in that limbo). "I would've coped."

He stared at her calculatingly, as if sizing up what she said. And then slowly, carefully: "I meant me. I... I killed you, Sakura."

Her eyes softened at his confession, and it was only then she realized she was bracing for another goodbye, not an apology or a confession.

He looked around, as if searching for anyone who might see them, and looked at her. "I can't stay here." He gulped. "I'd always... I'd always thought I would, you know."

She blinked.

"I always thought I'd come back..."

"Sasuke-kun..."

"And then my brother... And I swore I'd never come back. I was so angry, Sakura. But when I killed you, when I killed you..."

I love you.

"I couldn't believe you'd..."

"You couldn't believe?" She glared at him. "What? You think that confession I gave you years ago at this very same place was a joke?"

"We were twelve."

"Yes and I'm dead now and I'm still in love with you!"

Her confession both made them stand stock still, and all they could do is stare at each other. Somewhere in her befuddled mind, she thought: Everything comes full circle. Because here they are, at the gates of Konoha again, with him trying to leave and her pleading him to stay with a love confession thrown in with it.

"I hate this," she was crying loudly this time. "I want to hate you so bad but I love you still. And I hate that! I hate that! I hate that when I cry, it's always got to do with you! That I worry even though you wanted to kill me! That every time I look into a new moon, all I could think of is that night and you! It's always you!"

"Sakura..."

"I'm sorry... Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I cared, you know."

She stared wide eyed at him. The tears still fell, there was no helping it.

"The first time... That first time I saw you cry during our mission at Wave... I didn't know what to do. I was alone for so long I didn't know what it was like for someone to cry for me. And Kakashi was so adamant in teamwork that you grew on me. Every time I saw you cry over me..."

"Sasuke-kun."

"You were precious to me, Sakura. One of the few people I cared for. When I went berserk because of the mark, it wasn't just because of it. I was angry too. You were my teammate, and I cared for you. And yet, when I saw you cry then, my anger dissipated... Your tears... Your tears always make me hesitate. You always make me hesitate. And I think, had I stayed, I'd have stayed with you."

"Sas—"

"Sakura," he said rather forcefully, probably to tell her to listen. "I... I wasn't very good at it. But I... I did love you. I still do."

A moment of silence passed, and she just went on staring at him.

He blinked, trying perhaps to shake the uneasiness he felt. "I want you to come with me this time, Sakura."

And then she felt it: the small tingles beginning from her toes and the edges of her fingers. She realized then, that he was her fifth person. She couldn't let go because of him.

She smiled. "I'm sorry Sasuke-kun. But I can't."

"What? But—"

She leaned up, hands on both sides of his face. He fidgeted, clearly not used to such contact.

"I'm a ghost, Sasuke-kun. Just an echo of who I once was. I can't go with you," she pursed her lips, trying to tell him everything she can—her time was running short. "But I love you too, Sasuke-kun. I think you know that already though. I'd love you in this life—and the next." She pressed a kiss on his lips, and as she moved away from him gave him a gentle poke on the forehead with her pointer and middle fingers. "See you next time, but don't hurry on getting on that next time, you still have a clan to rebuild."

And she was gone, just like that.

[dross-the-fish]

I saw your LO post and something stuck out to me. Most people focus on Hades as a love interest but you made the case that Persephone isn't wife material and I wondered if you could elaborate on that.

I presume you're talking about this post.

I stand by what I said.

This pink teenager isn't wife material, no adult over the age of 25 should look twice at her. This is because this character is functionally a child.

She's technically the physical equivalent of 19 but feels alarmingly younger than that because of her background and upbringing. Hades is supposedly in his 40's and has a full time job and his own assets. At my age and current life stage I'm actually a lot closer to where he's at than I am where she is and I cannot fathom what her appeal would be to anyone outside of her age group.

What is the allure? Is it the way adding her as a household driver would skyrocket someone's car insurance? Is it the way they'd pretty much be guaranteed to have to finish raising her? Instead of coming home after busting your ass at work and having another grown-up to talk to, you'd have to go through the emotional labor of having to play parent/teacher to this child who probably doesn't know how to write a resume and has never had to experience the mental, physical and financial burden of running a household. If you were to date someone like Persephone you'd have to be ok with never getting any kind of mental, emotional, or financial reciprocity because she's not equipped to function in an adult relationship as an equal partner.

That's a HUGE thing and when you get to be my age you will care about these things a lot more than you care about the frivolous "dating" elements that tend to be the focus of younger people's relationships.

Persephone would be incapable of relating to a character like Hades in any meaningful way and while it's cute, I guess, that she's "nice", nice isn't enough of a foundation to build a long term relationship. Due to her lack of age and experience she's not capable of giving advice or even actual comfort if someone had to come to her with typical adult concerns. At best she'd maybe be able to give empty sympathy and, I'll tell you right now, empty sympathy gets old fast.

A very long time ago I dated someone who was my age but at a totally different phase of life and it was a huge mistake. I'd try to talk to her about my job or an apartment I was considering renting and she'd just give me this glazed look like I was speaking another language. The only things I could talk to her about were media or college so when I needed to talk to another grown-up about the very real things I was going through (feelings of inadequacy at my job, concern over financial stability, finding affordable housing) I had NO ONE, because she had never had to worry about any of those things and couldn't comprehend how serious these concerns were. I think the last straw was when I wanted to go do something and she had to ask her parents for money and permission first.

We were both 22 and I had already had a job and my own car for 3 years and the idea of asking my parents for money or permission to do anything seemed ludicrous.

To be clear I don't blame her for that, everyone grows at a different rate and some people get to certain stages later than others, but it did really highlight that this wasn't a person I should continue to date and not someone I could ever feel like I was on equal footing with because she still lived and behaved like a teenager. We were the same age, but sometimes I felt like I was taking on a role that should have been filled by her parents and nothing kills a romantic mood like feeling like the only adult in the room is you.

So yeah, someone like Persephone shouldn't even be trying to start serious relationships, she should be learning how to navigate through life with her peers, people who are also still learning crucial life lessons. But that's not what's going to happen. There's something incredibly gross about the fact that the one who's going to have to teach her how to be a functional adult is the 40 year old man who's eventually going to marry her.

[extasiswings]

honestly do you think they're gonna have buck and eddie actually talk about the donor thing in 6b? especially considering eddie's reactions and behavior during the call where buck gave the news or not? like do you think that meant something and it was on purpose or not?

I have talked about this before, but since I've gotten several asks today on this subject, I will repeat myself this once in the hope that I won't have to keep doing so.

Short answer: Yes.

Longer answer:

During the beach scene at the end of Cursed (aka the episode where Eddie learned about the donor thing in the first place), Eddie had some very pointed things to say about him and Christopher dealing with the trauma of the tsunami because if you don't talk about the things that scare you, they just get scarier and harder to deal with/talk about. I say it was pointed because Eddie is NOT talking about three specific things: the well, the shooting, and the will. All of which tie back to the underlying big, scary thing that he isn't talking about: the fact that he is in love with Buck.

They are going to talk about it because they have to talk about it. Because this is the season of "not being able to see what you already have/that what you really want is right in front of you" and "seemingly unattainable fantasies being realized." Because Buck is putting himself through hell emotionally trying to be a father while missing the fact that he already is one because Eddie made him one three years ago. And because while he's doing that, Eddie is beginning to start thinking about dating again and what that would look like/mean for him (reading between the lines, at least some of what that should mean is the fact that he's allowed to not date women and maybe being in love with his best friend who happens to be a man is not the unattainable fantasy he thought).

They are going to talk about it because not only is Buck missing what's right in front of his face, he's doing it in a way that Eddie has some real feelings about. But they're not going to talk about it yet or immediately both because Eddie likely doesn't feel like he's allowed to have an opinion and because his feelings about it are complicated and deeply personal. As far as Eddie has come in therapy, his insecurities around rejection and abandonment run deep, and we're seeing him retreat into his old coping mechanisms of avoidance and silence. Beyond that, Buck has made sure that the only opportunities Eddie has had to comment on it have been when everyone else was involved. But even if Eddie was comfortable sharing his feelings honestly, he's not going to do it in front of the rest of their friends. Not unless he's pushed, which he hasn't been. (And Buck hasn't been pushed either--up to this point he's been able to talk through the majority of this with Hen--but he's likely going to be. Because if Hen is going to feel Some Kinda Way about Denny seeking out his biological father in secret at the same time Buck is in his feelings because Connor and Kameron are trying to set boundaries and remind him that this baby is their child, that sounds like a recipe for disaster).

Eddie is clearly Not Happy though. He couldn't get off the phone fast enough after Buck dropped that news, but as I pointed out last night, despite his nonsense excuse about needing to get to bed, he didn't go to bed after hanging up. Instead he fell asleep on the couch.

As for whether I think his reactions etc were intentional...yes, of course they were. Actors do not go rogue. Writers and directors do not go rogue. The things that end up in the episode are the things we are meant to see. They always mean something even if we can't see it until we have the complete picture (although imo at least, this one is pretty clear). And everyone involved in writing this show is definitely aware of all of the things I mentioned above (all I have to do to know that is to look at Kristen's explanation of where Buck's at right now/what his arc is doing and the fact that her explanation is basically everything I've been saying all season + the consistency of characterization across the writing team).

The only thing that's a real question in my mind is the timing. The when. How long will they continue to build the tension until it boils over? If they're tracking last season, my guess would be sometime around 6x13/14 or so, but I really don't know. What I do know is that I trust the writers to tell the best possible story on whatever timeline makes the most sense within the confines of an ensemble show where they're juggling arcs for multiple characters at a time. They know what they're doing, they've never let me down, and the only times I've been disappointed in the moment it's been because I couldn't see the big picture and underestimated the amount of time and/or space they needed to give a particular arc. So I try not to do that anymore because they've more than proven they know what they're doing.

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the Asshole for running away from home and becoming the protector of a city even though if I stayed me and my whole family would have died?

So about 6 years ago I (now 21 F) ran away from home because the other people in my village found out I can use magic which is considered a major offense against the goddess and would have likely resulted in at the very least my death if not also the deaths of my family if I had stayed (My parents knew of this and they gave me supplies for the road though they couldn't leave with me for various reasons).

It's a long story but due to a suggestion from my first ever friend/current partner (now 20F) Who I'll call E I ended up going to a major port and a certain important person (Old F) in the city decided I would be a great successor for her for a variety of reasons. I agreed to her offer as it would let both me and E be safe which was the right choice as I genuinely love the city now and consider it to be my home.

Now fast forward to a few months ago. My life was going great. Until someone set fire to the city. Most people don't know this but that person was actually my little brother (19M). We met while i was trying to rescue people from the fire and he told me that all of it, the death, injury and destruction, was my fault because I abandoned my family those 6 years ago and then left.

When I told E about all of this she said that it was in no way my fault and that I shouldn't feel like the asshole in all of this because I was maybe 15 and just wanted to live but she might be biased so what do you think? AITA?

(Also if you're wondering the rebuilding efforts are going well! I'm partially responsible for them because the tome I wield is kind of a symbol of protection to the people of a city and therefore so am I.)

[lladmie]

Thirsty Thursday

Give us an excerpt—WIP or finished (preferably sth. new:))—that tells of pleasure and sensuality. Romantic fluff and writings about the many other pleasures are greatly welcome, too!

Thank you so much @revoevokukil for the tag! ♥ I tag @woundedheartwithin (if she wants to share) because I'm reading her works and she's giving Majimako some good love. I seize the opportunity to post a short excerpt of a new work. It's still a WIP... Something I started writing some time ago for personal pleasure, and that I never finished because my Majimako fic What You Are Worth needs an update after almost a year, don't you think? (I know. I'm very sorry for that. I'm planning to post the third chapter before New Year.)

It has no plot, just... sex? Well, I was imagining a future post-Y0 where Makoto and Majima lived together and started a relationship like two (apparently) normal people.

Pairing: Majima/Makoto (Yakuza/RGG) Warnings:

smut

minor references to past abuses

"Ohi," Majima grumbled, annoyed.

A warm hand closed around hers, moving it on his erection with easiness, up and down. She didn't even notice she had stopped her ministrations. The moment the pleasure had shot throught her at his slow, surprisingly tender fingers working on her most delicate gem, hidden among the folds of her femininity, Makoto had completely forgot why they were both sprawled naked on the futon in the first place.

"Sorry." She answered as a sigh escaped her lips. "You're… You're distracting me."

Shoulders to shoulders and one arm crossed with his, Makoto was trying hard to keep her brain active while his fingertips stroked and rubbed, entwined in her dark curls.

"I'm doin' my job here." She could hear the humor in his voice. "Been the only one, though."

His hand wandered for a moment, caressing her labia and outlining her entrance, only to go up to her clit again. Heat spreaded in her lower abdomen as Makoto's body stirred. She was feeling incredibly exposed with him at her side and not hovering over her as he usually did in those kind of situations, his weight a safe anchor between her desires and the memories they evoked. Sometimes, when she couldn't look at shame and fear straight in the eye, she still preferred to close her eyes, to feel nothing but voices and touches in the way she did for the last two years of her life. But Majima wasn't any of the men that had abused her at the time; he claimed to love her. Wasn't it why they were exploring each other that way? Taking a step as a time, living it as normal as possible.

She released a stuttering breath as one of his finger breached her swollen flesh to push inside her.

His only eye, fixed on hers, was pitch black and alert. She knew what he was searching for. It was all right, she wanted to say. It really was. Instead, she flushed from the neck to the ears. At the very least, she didn't feel as if she was going to cry in panic, unlike the very first time they had made love.

"Makoto." She heard him grunt as she rocked her hips eagerly against his hand, "Yer holdin' it again like it is a dagger or something."

Makoto bit her lip, because he was right. Her hand was still holding his erection thigh and content, without making any effort to move. It was hard to concentrate enough to give him the right attentions when the only thing she wanted to do was letting herself float away at the sensations he was pulling out of her. And unlike hers, Majima's caresses never ceased, never halted a moment; sometimes he just changed intensity and tempo.

She gave a few fast strokes from the base of his erection to the tip before resuming a moderate pace, and was rewarded with a low moan that seemed to pass through her. "That's it," he hummed. "Keep goin', yeah?"

Another finger joined the one already inside her as Makoto shifted her hips to give Majima better access. The slick sound in tandem with her writhing and gasping was making her want to burst. Makoto tilted her head in a desperate search for Majima's mouth. He didn't make her wait. The kiss was long and too prudish for the kind of passion he was showing her further down, but enough for her heart to sing in gladness.

She felt him push himself in her hand.

A sign that she forgot to take care of him again.

Makoto was going to apologize when Majima suddenly freed himself from her grip. The melody in her chest turned to a silent scream.

"Wh-what..." she started, and almost yelped when he folded her in half, knees touching her chest.

Makoto glanced down, heart beating fast for reasons she preferred not to delve into too deeply, reasons Majima saw to surprisingly fast. Taking her hands and squeezing them hard without letting go, he slowly lowered his mouth between her legs.

He kissing first the sides of her thighs where past left its witness on her skin in the form of an ugly artwork. If nothing else, that wasn't making her anxious anymore.

"Didn't you want to, ah, do something easy to relax?"

"Changed my mind," he answered as his tongue finally reached the desired destination and explored her until she trembled, and their entwined hands resting on either side of her pubis trembled together.

"Wanna die here," he muttered, as his nose sinked in her creases. "Like this. Fuck, I hope I'll die like 'is."

"Don't say that," Makoto scolded him softly, ignoring the light tingle his words and mouth sent into her belly. "Don't say that you want to die... Or that you'll die soon, like you always do..."

She could feel his odd smile against her.

"Please."

She had lost too much already. She didn't want to think of losing more just when she was starting to gain something back.

He left a popping kiss on her core. Once, twice. A promise he couldn't possibly speak. A second later he was at work again. Squeezing his head between her scarred thighs, Makoto arched and moaned. One of Majima's hands moved on her clit, caressing it with lazy, circling movements. She had to close her eyes again at the glimpse of absolute adoration she saw in his gaze for a flashy moment before her release.

She took a deep breath.

A kiss landed on her cheek.

"All good?"

Makoto's hand was still trembling in his hold.

[space-blue]

Trick or treat!

Poor anon... Let me beam you 90% of the first chapter of an original story I worked on years ago and never finished.

Phobia

Did you ever wonder if you could spend a day without drinking? Even if you were thirsty, to just stay locked in your room, and hope that "thirty days without food, three days without water" weren't an urban myth?

I have, of course, as a sort of intellectual exercise. Like wondering whether you'd rather die of thirst or hunger; such merry thoughts usually triggered by some piece of sensational news about people surviving against all odds, trapped under buildings, licking wet concrete for weeks.

Never had I considered it as seriously as that morning, sitting on the edge of my bed, head bobbing on the knees I'd gathered in my arms. My bare feet drummed a matching rhythm, following the erratic patterns of my anguished thoughts. I had already given up on the morning's plans of course. Why worry about jogging or work when I wasn't sure I'd get a glass to drink. Or a thing to eat. Or an access to the toilet, either.

I cursed myself for keeping my room so tidy. I rolled back across my bed, tumbling in my duvet like this was some slumber party. But there were no half eaten meals, no bags of chips or popcorn, no bottles or glasses laying around, half full or half empty. No one either, to hit me with a pillow—let alone open the door for me.

I sat back up, starring at this hideous obstacle in the wall, this repulsive thing I could barely stand to look at. The idea of touching it, opening it and being confronted with what may lay behind made my stomach lurch and my body break in a sweat.

A fucking door.

How did I not see it coming? The endless question. As if I could plan for everything. I reached for my phone, checking for messages. Answers to my desperate cries for help.

Nothing yet. I'm no sexy princess to be delivered out of my dungeon, for sure, but at least Virgil would help. He'd come for me—not on a white horse but in a white sedan. And if he found my desiccated corpse, I knew he'd get some epic line carved on my tombstone. Something witty like "Finally got a phobia of living".

I laughed at the ceiling and, for lack of a better thing to do, started reviewing the series of events that had led me here, trapped in my own bedroom by a paralysing fear of its door.

It all started two years ago. I'd scored a great job, working a management desk in a brand new animation studio based in London. I loved what we did there, but work was slowly turning into hell because of commute. I simply couldn't afford rent anywhere near my work—could barely afford to breathe and eat, actually; fuck London.

And you see, I had a crippling phobia of trains and cars... and buses, subways, trams—basically anything that had me inside a metal box travelling at great speeds. I insisted on riding my bicycle everywhere. You can imagine how things got, between the woeful weather, the waste of a time I didn't have, the lack of sleep snowballing into absences, sick days and increasingly sloppy work... Within a year it was a toss up as to what would get me first, between my boss waving a P45 or a car clipping my wheel.

I needed to act, and fast. That wrote off drawn out therapy, so I got an appointment with a hypnotist. I didn't really know what to expect. I'd heard about them from a concerned friend who'd seen some tv show about them. Third hand information at best, yet my GP confirmed hypnosis was an option and gave me a reference to a private hypnotherapist in Whitechapel who'd only set me back one third of my rent a pop.

I went in with low expectations and high hopes. I can't stress enough how pleased I was to walk out of that first session entirely cured. My fear, the entire gut reaction, the physical distress at the very idea of being trapped in a car, was gone. The poor hypnotherapist was so taken aback, she scheduled a second appointment later in the same week and asked me to try and sit in an unmoving car before then and report how that felt.

I went home in a taxi, crying my eyes out in happiness, thinking there would never be another session.

It lasted for a few days. Retrospectively, I think I just failed to find the proper triggers.

My first fright, I was getting to the subway entrance and froze. I found myself taken by nausea, feet glued to the steps. An all too familiar cocktail of feelings. I could not bring myself to go underground. It was like it would swallow me. Like it was a hole, not a tunnel. An anthill, swarming with sweaty hordes of people who didn't seem to notice how close the walls were, how dense the air... Everything screamed danger at me, every sense on high alert, except for my knees, ready to go to sleep.

Do you know someone who has a phobia of planes? People always talk those poor folk down.

"Hey, planes are safe!"

"One in a million chances!"

"It's more dangerous to take the bus across town, or to cross the street!"

Does it make a difference to them? Of course not. You can be perfectly reasonable about the object of your phobia. You can know for certain that it is safe, and yet remain utterly terrified of it. It's a gut feeling, a horror without sense or reason. Of course a frog can't eat you. Of course a house spider as large as a finger nail is more scared of you than you of her, and she couldn't even pierce your skin if she tried to bite you. As harmless as a mayfly, yet you climb up the curtains and wail.

It's really insulting, to have someone laugh at you as if your logic were what's at fault. It's not, it's some deep, poorly wired connection in your brain, wherever it breeds mortal fear.

And if people try to cure plane-phobia folks with hard Facts and Logic, just imagine how they react to a grown man shreaking in the supermarket aisle, suddenly discovering himself a phobia of tuna cans?

Yes, that happened too. The day after the underground fear. And yes, I knew that cans—of tuna or otherwise—wouldn't hurt me. But it was terrifying. I didn't see it coming, I had grabbed it while fumbling with my shopping list. When I saw it and the fear locked into place...

Yet the next day I could open my kitchen cupboard and grab any can I wanted.

The phobia, I slowly came to realise, was jumping to some new, unknown objects every day. It left me wondering where I'd be, next time something caught me off guard. I woke up stressed, tensed for the day ahead. I went to bed fighting sleep, my dreams often plagued by whatever thing or concept had scared me all day.

Fear and anguish and tuna cans.

Now featuring doorknobs as well.

The hypnotherapist had been eager to believe me. It was easier for her to accept something was wrong with my head than to believe she could cure me my phobia in a single session. Her recommendations sent me down a string of doctors, all more academic than the next. I quit my job when it became clear I couldn't hold it. My girlfriend left me the day after I woke up screaming at the sight of her in my bed and ran to lock myself in the bathroom.

Phobia of women is a thing. It's called gynophobia and it's stupid.

Eventually, I moved to Edinburgh, Scotland. I got a flat and a stipend for working with the University there. With Virgil and his team at the neuroscience department. Malcolm Evans became M. E. in all papers on my rather... unique condition.

The man whose deep sleep cycles resets his phobia! The man with gremlins for brains. That was me. That had become my life. To be prodded and tested and written about. Paraded at talks and flown about the world, put under and medicated and cat-scanned and ultra-sounded and punctured and dressed up in more electrodes wires than a Christmas tree with fairylights.

[mymhameme]

AMKSMDJSNJD WHAT A SURPRISE TO WAKE UP TO!!!! Oh my goodness, they are the most precious beans!!!! Op I am shaking and wailing and lovingly cradling your art this needs to be framed in a museum!!! 💖 they've been through so much angst but that brief moment they get to be kids and just have fun trying to dance and they're so awkward and silly PLS 🥺 Tenko's little giggle because I guess the music and atmosphere got to him and he couldn't help but do a little tappy tap and Keigo's all :0 heck the whole art has an element of surprise like they aren't expecting their reactions and are shy and awkward about it, the spinning around dance is so very much "testing the waters for the first time + super curious about actually being able to dance" the one on the bottom sob their smiles are so precious, protect themmm (or don't because the comfort after the hurt is delicious) that's the first time since the incident Tenko's been able to laugh so purely and openly, the way Keigo is hiding his face with a plushie, this is new for you too huh?

the trope of "It's you and me against the world and we'll always be together" as you hold onto your friend's hand, never letting go and race into the light of the morning sun, THE DESPERATE MID-AIR FLY CATCH HUG, aw yeah Keigo being as fast as he is makes for prime "I need to get to Tenko right away" angst, and "I haven't seen you in so long, are you really real?" also wings!!! you draw them so huge and fluffy, imagine the protective hugs. And the orphanage escape! Lmao, whenever I read a plot like that I think to myself "I should've written this fic four years ago before Hori gave that entire plot line to Dabi, people are gonna think I copied-" 😔 whatever it's fun!! access to much plot relevant locations and info and secrets!! Lol and also rip at Kai just dragging Oboro like that. Is he half-sentient Nomu already or a corpse mid-revival? We shall see. More desperate flying, love Keigo holding Tenko and something about most of Tenko's face hidden by his hair so all you can see is that one intense eye looking dead ahead is creating SOME kind of energy I wanna make a joke about but I've got no words 😭 Maybe it's his Transcendent Princely Villain Energy poking through, maybe it's the youngest sibling energy, if Prince Tenko wants to be carried he will, also the way he's clutching onto Keigo, the TRUST even with his quirk, he will get them out safely and swiftly. Maybe it's the lingering trauma from AFO encounters, gosh whatever, between this and that and all your art, I am asking for hand in marriage for your spectacular ability to display emotions and expressions with such intricacies!!! Op lock your doors, I am kidnapping the blorbos from your drawing table because they're just too darn cute 🥰

I've been reading this over and over today and smiling like a goon while trying to figure out how to respond because MAN this was so nice of you!

I'm so happy that you noticed all the small details and nuances I try to convey with my drawings (especially the dance one it's like you were there when I made it lol) Expressions are some of my favorite things to draw so I'm happy the intended readings came across so well! I had so much fun with Tomura's face in the rescue scene as well, he's so intense!

Them relying on each other because they are literally ALL they have and they would do ANYTHING for that person is just a trope I like way too much lol ngl. The unquestioning trust that can both build somebody up while knocking them down at any moment is just--

Thanks again for reaching out! There was so many kind words and I don't know how to articulate the emotions it gave me QAQ

[hermitcatlongposts]

What is this game?

I mean it is a video game indeed. What does it really mean to me? What does this game stand for? Why is it being made at all?

What I'm about to say next is gonna be so hazardously cliche that you might wanna brace yourself. The journey of developing this game was a journey of self discovery. Yes I too am cringing at what I said. But not self discovery as in oh I didn't know who I was and now I suddenly do. I always knew who I was since young age. It's discovery of how intense the "who I am"-ness goes. In fact, someone more sane and reasonable than me would say it's so much that it's counterproductive.

I actually did talk about a platformer game I used to work on like a year ago at SubscribeStar. I gave up on it because I was making it just because I was told by my environment at the time that it's the best route for beginners. I like neither "minimalist" graphics nor platformer genre. Also making vector art was so painful for me.

So the significance of my current touhou clone project is that I said fuck you to "minimalist" vector art and started drawing normal, raster art with my mouse. Drawing with mouse was of course equally painful but the difference was that I tapped into my dormant passion for art, like not just a general loose definition of art such as banana taped on wall, but specifically "moving my hands around and laying pigment on a canvas". Digital equivalent, of course. Shortly followed by buying a drawing tablet.

So what this game initially was going to be was just a prototype purely for the sake of learning the ways of programming a bullet hell and a complete game (as opposed to gamejam). But the jagginess of a mouse drawn sprites were just too unbearably and physically painful to look at and it was nothing less than a necessity to redraw with my beloved drawing tablet so at least it'll have smooth edges, easy on the eyes.

hey, amazing opportunity to have a look at old artworks

But, even after all these years of being a game developer I was still hilariously naive. Technically the first game I ever made was in fucking 2015. The first one to be uploaded on the internet was in 2017. It's unbelievable how I still thought foolishly like "Oh yeah I can finish this game in just 3 months. Ha, see ya soon as a proud developer of a released title."

Anyways, the point is that after such a long time of working on it, I suddenly couldn't see myself just throwing it away as a prototype intended for no one to seriously play it. So the game evolved into "at least a proper game". Which was actually a great decision because, I could release an utterly bare bone prototype that only just serves to have the core idea of a bullet hell touhou clone in terms of programming. But if I did that, I would spend ten years on my second project because that would-be prototype is still nowhere near enough of a programming school. What I didn't realize in the past is how enormous the difference between just spewing out prototype code and meticulously developing a full game with all little mini-mechanics and mini-systems working in harmony. So by spending more time on my first project, I will be spending less time on my second.

I thought that's what the game was gonna be. Just a nice and proper game that I won't feel any shame about purposefully making it garbage like I was originally planning to. Someone sane might say that would be very reasonable place to stop but here comes the part where I expand upon what I said at the beginning about it being a journey of realization of the depths of my personality coming at a detriment of productivity, as in how fast I produce products.

You know how the dress of my player character looks. It's a reference to that platformer game. I am a craftsman through and through (please don't take it as I'm jerking my own dick, I'm just trying to communicate myself clearly). I have emotional connection to my creations for I see them as something that is real and has meaning. I'm not a producer pumping out products on a conveyor belt feeding the bottomless vortex of consumerism. So instead of completely cutting that old platformer game out of my life like it was nothing at all, I decided to pay homage to it as elements in my current game. Basically an easter egg that only extremely few, like 2 or 3 people will recognize. Although it was abandoned for legitimate reasons, I respect it as my first attempt at serious, non-gamejam game. And I immortalize it's legacy this way.

You might remember this flipping tile thing was actually made long ago. But instead of having just a random nothing as a texture, I made it a throwback to one of the key elements of Square Heart (the name of the platformer game, btw), the iconic blue crates and outlines that light up when the player walks over them. Btw the loading is intentionally slowed down to show the spinning border lights more clearly. It doesn't load that slowly in reality lol. Wait, that means players are not gonna really see the thing I spent so much time making...

This is how the player would respawn. Just pop right back up. I mean there is nothing wrong with it. It's a classic animation in all the arcade shooter games.

What I decided to do however is a throwback to how the player character of SquareHeart respawned.

This one is gonna appear in only one of the 5 stages because only one has a night sky. This is the iconic minimalist gradient trees that I tried so hard in SquareHeart to be the main attraction. I actually always planned to have no background at all in this game for the sake of not getting way too ridiculously ahead of myself for a first game. Just plop down the skybox I found on the Unity Asset Store. Now that I decided to do this in one of the stages, I have pushed the standard so I have to figure out something for other stages as well. Also the speeding up you see is not the default but just a short section. Inspired by stage 4 of Touhou 8: Imperishable Night, where the boss tries to run away mid-fight and you chase after them. "Chasing" as in just the background scrolling faster, nothing else really.

The bomb, or what's modernly referred to as SpellCard of the player is a legacy that's actually truly lost. Long long ago in 2019, there was an ancestral version of SquareHeart that featured a cutscene that focuses on this circle flower-like talisman thingy. Literally only one person might remember it besides myself.

This one is not part of the SquareHeart. But if you remember, before I actually started to draw, the player character of my bullet hell was a vector art butterfly. In fact, it all started from a game-jam I wrote a blogpost about right here on Tumblr a long time ago. In fact, if I remember correctly that blogpost is the very reason why I created a Tumblr account to begin with. So this butterfly too won't be forgotten. It's now on the other side as a mini-boss. And every other stages will also have butterflies of different design as their mini-bosses.

And, yeah et cetera. There is actually at least one more easter egg to make but I'm yet to come to a final design decision.

I want this game to be actually something more than "just a proper game for the sake of being a proper game", let alone a throwaway prototype. I want this game to have an actual self to stand solid and have meaning to me. And that meaning is that it's the first step of my journey as an artist ("art" as in a form of indie games, not just visual illustration) but also a rightful payment of respect to my first step as just game developer in general. The past should be put to rest respectfully so the future shall flourish in full force.

[curs3dn0va]

TW: SA, grooming, mental heath stuff, cheating.

So I had 2 breakups by October 2021: one was my ex-something (he called me his soulmate, I call him the worst thing that could have happened to me), and the other was feminism, and both of them are very much linked together, so here's what went down:

When I was in highschool I met this boy, and this boy had a best friend, let's call the bestie B. So me and this boy started dating, we were both shitty teens, but I just wanted a good time and he said "I love you" in like 3 months. Safe to say it didn't work out, and then it didn't work out a second time around, but by then this boy had stolen my friend group, but B kept checking in, and I really liked him as a friend, I thought he was cool, plus he had a shitty life situation and I wanted to help him out. Something I now know about myself is that I buy my way into peoples hert's because the thought of someone liking me for who I am really only ocurred to me like 2 months ago, so I am fixing that, but back then I was very much not fixing that, anyways I gave him my old smartphone when I upgrated, looking back it was a big deal and he was not that greatful about it, he said thanks a few times and then went on ignoring most of my texts. I have grown up to understand that as a person I am very needy of love and reassurance, I will send a 9 text in a row without response, it is just part of my nature. So B and I got closer and closer, we lived together and our lives were not going too great so we gravitated towards eachother, we would talk until 4am about literally nothing at all and just have fun. At 19 he had this relationship that I won't talk too much about, just say that it was bad and it was most likely his fault in hindsight, but back then he was definitetly the guy that said "all my girlfriends are crazy" and shit like that. One night we had a movie marathon, and the thought of him in a more-than-friends way had occured to me, but I had no self-steem and he had girls to pick from, so I was fine with just being a best friend, because that's what we were at that point: he would come to my house, we would talk, watch videos, joke around, it was all very platonic; but that one cursed night he put his arm around me, and I was curious "what is he doing?" was my first thought, not repulsed just kind of confused if he would over-correct or something, and because of how my couch was at the time it was very easy for me to lean into him and in my shoulder I felt his heart absolutetly beating out of his chest and his "I'm really trying to stay chill" breathing. Fast forward of a few weeks of us fooling around and I was like "what are we?" and he did a very classic male manipulator "I'm not ready for anything", "you would be forever and we are so young", long story short he got me to be his "friends with benefits" -even thought he was the only one benefiting from any part of the relationship- and 3 years in, something happened: He got a girlfriend.

Now you have to understand that I was 3 years into a brainwashing campaign of "we will live happily ever after... someday" by then, so when this girl came in I was not happy... with her. I obviously couldn't possibly blame him because by that point I was not a person anymore, I was a very well groomed and trained sex doll that he could cry to and I would obediently validate all his opinions and quell all his fears. I was not even half a person, and when I showed signs of having my own thoughts and emotions he would silet treat me into obedience, rejection was his punishment and he dealt it freely and with no remorse. So I hated her, not only because she just waltzed in and suddenly he wanted to commit to someone, but because she was what he shaped me into but better, at least in my eyes. She was allowed he own opinions on shows, she was allowed tantrums, wishes, wants, desires, hobbies, but he wouldn't ever be mad at her, at least not in fron of me. She was also smaller in every sense of the word, she was short and skinny, and I have always thought of myself as a mid-sized person, but looking at photos from that time I was very, very skinny, it was truly just my insecurities getting the best of me. Privatetly, he painted her as a selfish, toxic girl, with no control over her emotions (and this led to the implicit "unlike you" where he praised my maturity and shit like that); her dehumanization to me was crucial, because the moment they became official, I said no to sex with him for the first time in 3 years. Despite all the conditioning I went through, I was sure I didn't want to make her suffer... until that christmas. To be fully honest I don't remember exactly what they fought about, only that she called him unhigenic and that he could at least try to smell good when he was around her -which yeah, that man STUNK it's not even funny- so he villanized her and cried in my lap about her and his dad and how no one (but me) loved him, and he wore me down. We had sex that night and he went on to cheat on for a full year. I knew it was wrong and I did feel bad, but I also thought that man was my soulmate, that destiny wrote us to be together, that they'd be broken up in another month and our love story could continue. But they didn't.

If you though this was already messy, you better strap the fuck in because his girlfriend, let's call her C, has a girl best friend that we're gonna call A, well A and I met when she was coming back into town, and because our "best friends" were dating eachother and I was publicly single we started hanging out as "totally definitetly platonic gal pals"... or at least that the impression I got, we never did any explicitly romantic stuff, but there was some tension I am fairly sure I was not imagining. So one day I spill the beans to her about B and how we had been having a thing for 4 years by then and blah blah blah, A doesn't take it well and in her eternal grace gave me a month to tell C or she would, so I told B he had a month to tell his girlfriend the truth because I was done. By this point I had recently been at a feminist protest in my city where I did meet A and C, they were very much feminist and very into the whole movement, and the movement at that moment was (and still very much is) about supporting women who came out with stories about abuse of any kind, believing them and defending them. All of this to say that I was very much surprised when B did not tell his girlfriend about the affair, and when I did she didn't even respond, when I went to A to see what the fuck was going on I was even more shocked that she didn't believe me anymore either. I do blame the autism for not seeing this coming, and also for wanting to "be the bigger person" by not sharing screenshots of my conversations with B, or the nudes, or the voice messages, or any of it really. What was pure stupidity was deleting all of it. That's right, dear reader, I have no proof of any of this.

So the feminists who "believed all victims" did not believe me, my ex-something who swore to always be with me immediatetly stopped all communication, and I tried to start a legal case, but the trauma and the exhaustion got to me... I was internalized by ferbuary of 2022, and had a karmic wake up call this year with the betrayal of another so called "best friend", where it was my turn to believe someone else's story without any proof, and seeing myself in that position really put into perspective what A and C did. Not believing someone when they come out with something as serious as what I "allegged" in my very thorough facebook post (don't judge me, it's still widely used where I live as a social media platform), it can really mentally hurt the accusing party. I to this day try to rationalize my own rape. I can think of a million reasons it "wan't that bad" and "I'm just blowing it out of proportion", but if that is true then why do I have all the emotional baggage of someone who was victimized for years? if it wasn't that bad, then how come I was sure I was unlovable? I am still sure.

I am in a happy and healty realtionship right now, where my partner is patient and kind and has never even looked at me wrong and I still flinch when I'm not expecting his touch. It is my job now to put myself back together, to reconstruct the child that I was before my abuser and see them become the adult I was supposed to be. Four years of my life I dedicated to someone who hurt me so much I couldn't recognize myself afterwards, I was deeply dependant on him for every single decition, and now I am afraid to even get my tongue pierced because my current boyfriend doesn't like that piercing and I am so terrified that he will start treating me like my ex treated me. I have nightmares about my boyfriend being mad at me because in my head it is not believable that everything could be okay in my relationship.

I do not know if I'll ever be able to forgive any of the people mantioned here (even my current boyfriend, he is too pretty and truly how dare he), but I am working on forgiving myself for the choices I made and the hurt that I caused, to myself at least since I think B and C are still together, last I heard at least. I do not wish any ill will to C and A, not really, altought sometimes I wish I did. It would be much easier to hate them at least, but I can't. And B, well... I did see him around the university at the start of the semester, and let's just say that we are 26 years old, but he looked 32 if we're being kind, so I think karma is doing fine on it's own.