#fossilized anger au

[ivathedemon]

Apparently, Srimpo is not capable of saying the word "Like"

he likes things that kill other things.

Masterpost

[inkyrainstorms]

The Martian Stan AU - The Apology - Excerpt

Ford was working as he always was nowadays, half listening to the radio behind him and trying to stop his heart from jumping in his throat every time that Stan stopped speaking for more than 10 minutes and nothing but static filled the room again. Ford wasn’t sure what exactly his brother was talking about anymore, as he welded a set of support bolts into place, but he nearly dropped the welding gun on his foot when Stan suddenly spoke after a long stretch of silence.

“Ford?”

Ford fumbled for a moment before shoving a stack of loose paper aside and  setting the welding gun down on the table beside him. He put his hands on either side of the radio on the same cluttered table and took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart.

“Yes, Stanley?” He asked softly.

Stan, of course, didn’t hear him, but had paused as if waiting for a response before continuing anyway.

“I know, I know damn well you’re probably never gonna hear this, but I need to say it anyway before… Well. I don’t need to eat as often and shit and I know you’d love to figure out why but… I’m not sure how long I’m gonna last out here either way.”

Ford didn’t say anything, staring down at the wooden grain of the table like he could burn a hole clean through it with his thoughts alone. His palms ached from where he’d dug in his fingernails, and his shoulders mangled to hunch even further.

Stan laughed. It was a bitter, ugly sound.

“Ah, damnit. This isn’t about me. Can’t even do this right, you idiot” His brother took a deep breath. “ But Ford… I think I need to apologize.”

Some old, fossilized hurt in Ford’s heart snarked ‘you think?’, but Ford nearly gagged as he suffocated the thought before it could take root anew. He felt sick.

Oblivious to Ford’s turmoil —and of course he was, because he didn’t know Ford was right here, that Ford wasn’t going to let one of the last things he ever said to Stan be that he thought Stan was worthless— Stan continued.

“I don’t think I ever got to, back when… you know. What I said that night is a bit of a blur to me to be honest, but I know I was spouting nonsense and saying all the wrong shit and… Moses, Ford. I know it’s too late now but I’m sorry. I really am.”

Something in Ford simultaneously healed and broke in his chest at Stan’s words, but he didn’t get the chance to process it because Stan wasn’t quite done yet.

“And I need you to know it wasn’t on purpose. I’d never do that to you. Never. Why would I ever want to hurt you like that, poindexter? I just… I was scared and I didn’t want to be alone in Glass Shard Beach scraping barnacles off the Taffy shop for the rest of my miserable life and I wasn’t. Thinking.” Stanley’s voice had been rising in a steady crescendo, but suddenly got so quiet that Ford had to strain to catch the words in the buzzing static. “I’d… I shouldn’t have gone into the gym. I shouldn’t have even gone near your friggin project. I didn’t go there to break it, I would never—“ his voice broke. “I thought you knew that. I’m your brother, you dingbat, why would I ever want to hurt you?When did I ever not support you, man?”

“Then why did you do it?” Ford whispered back, just as quiet. That old anger he’d tried to push down rose up again, simmering. Stan knew he’d poured months of his life into the perpetual motion machine, that he’s shed more than a few tears and more than a little blood and sweat over it. And then he’d thrown it all away?

“I’d only hit the table, ya know. Didn’t think the grate’d pop off or anything like that. I tried to fix it. I know I should’ve told you, I know and I’m sorry, just…” I was scared, goes unspoken. Ford’s legs were shaking, and he tried to steadily himself by leaning further on the table. “I know I should’ve told you. I know. I messed up fuckin’ good, Sixer.” Ford flinched.

“I’m. I know you’re never gonna get the apology you deserve cause I was too much of a coward to actually call you and say something.” Stan’s voice was shaking. And I’m sorry for that too. And I’m sorry for not listening to you about your stupid book, and I’m sorry— ugh. We’ll be here all day trying to name my fuckups. That’s the last sorry you’ll ever hear from me you nerdy, uh, nerd.”

Stan sighed loud enough for the radio to crackle and screech. “Good going, Stan,” he muttered, his voice getting quieter as he evidently walked away, done.

And all that was left was static.

Ford pushed himself away from the table and sank into the rolling chair nearby, putting his face in his hands and trying to breathe as the chair was pushed back several feet from his momentum.

“He’s lying,” Ford tried to say, but it tasted like ash in his mouth. “He’s trying to make it so… so.” He faltered. “He’s obviously trying to deceive me.”

Trust no one.

But he had trusted Stan. And Stan got hurled into a Dimension of Nightmares for it.

Stan has no reason to lie, Fords mind whispered, because it was always against him no matter what stance he took. He doesn’t think you’re coming to save him. Why wouldn’t he try to explain the worst mistake of his life in a fit of guilt and complete loss of hope?

“Shut up,” Ford said intelligently, and he didn’t dare pry his face away from his hands, heels of his palms digging into his eye sockets and pushing up his glasses to his hairline

Stan had no reason to lie.

Stan came to help him at the drop of a hat after ten years of being too afraid to even call him. 

Stan… Stan didn’t mean to break his project. It was a stupid accident, done by a stupid teenager too afraid to admit his own failings. Stan didn’t betray Ford. Not like he thought his twin had, for all these years.

Ford was wrong. About everything. He was wrong about Stan and Bill and Fiddleford and, Moses, had he ever done anything right in his entire, miserable life? Ford didn’t know. 

The empty bunk bed beneath his own  for those last few fateful months before Backupsmore, the tears and screaming at a boat that never even left the shore, the years of resentment and refusing to believe he missed his own twin, what was it all for? Because Ford suddenly felt the sharp sting of grief all over again, throbbing with a ferocity he’d refused to acknowledge for the past few weeks. Years. 

It was like he was 17 years old again, mourning for all the wrong reasons and all the right ones too. For his brother. For his chance to become someone worthy of recognition, of love. For pushing away the ones who’d already loved him.

For the first time since the day Stan fell into the portal all those weeks ago, Ford pulled his knees up to his chest on the seat and, in the safety of his own arms, he wept.

The static crackled on, steady and unchanging. Unforgiving.

———————

@aroace-get-out-of-my-face @littlelilliana15 (if anyone else wants to be tagged pls let me know! I’m going to probably be posting more for this au sometime this week)

I have ideas for a mini comic and a whole animatic using Space Oddity so I’ll just have to see how far I get, really

[linkcharacter]

I love your growing collection of bugs... First cockroaches and now centipedes(?)??? The collection's truly coming together~

It's super, super fun that Anti!Anya has long antenna; and even though it's canonically like that, I love how her regular ol' sweater kinda mimics a centipede's segmented body! Also it took me a second look to realize that there's actually text in the artwork too, omg!?

"Attempted Med School 1 Time": Beautiful. Feels like she'd be the type of person who, if she's not instantly spectacular at whatever she tries, gives up just as fast.

"Misanthrope, Never Plans Ahead, Impulsive, Cynical, Irresponsible": THANK GOD she only tried to get into med school once, but god have mercy on that ship 😂 The IV drips she'd give would be diabolical and her bedside manner would suck so SO hard!

"Internalized Misogyny, Nihilist, Doesn't See Future Prospects For Herself Outside of PE", Ough......... These traits are so good but so incredibly sad... :( Did she used to feel very motivated and hopeful about her life before the never-ending grind of capitalism, and her own anger, slowly smothered it? Is she the ship's nurse because the "nurturing role" is something expected of her due to her gender? Would she read a lot of Nietzsche?

Love your Anti-Tulpar AU now and forever 💙 May Anti!Anya be gently encased in resin to fossilize for millions of years 💙

AAA I LOVED READING THIS THANK YOU

Hehe, she is Centi Anya and will be a bother :) I am backtracking on my previous statement that my version of the au has no plot as I am currently too deep into it to back out 🫡. My Anti Anya being reason number one of why I got so invested.

She does indeed give up and wallow in misery at failures. Her internalized misogyny is something I want to explore more as I find it very interesting and crucial to her character, that I made up. She's an OC like all the people from this AU therefore I can do whatever I want with them. But I still would like to touch the themes and parallel the canon heavily :)

And about Nietzsche -- she would be a type of philosophy reader who is here to be pretentious and act better than other people at the fact that she knows fancy concept names and quotes random philosophers with no effort made to analyze them beyond surface level.

She will be put in the shredder and her pieces will be fossilized👍

[pixel-percy]

🔎 A Museum AU — You've been hopelessly crushing on your boss for months now, but you never would have guessed she felt the same. 🔎

🔎 Word Count: 1.2k 🔎 Music Vibes: HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan 🔎 Warning(s): Smut (fingering), public sex, & workplace power imbalance (everything is consensual, no one is manipulated) 🔎 A/N: Was sitting on this idea for a bit and finally managed to get it out. I haven't thoroughly edited this so there are probably some errors, but I hope ya'll enjoy it nonetheless!

You weren’t sure what happened.

The museum had been quiet, clock approaching the witching hour as you gently removed debris from the newest fossil to grace the Croft collection. A gentle hum from the electronics throughout the room steered the silence away from maddening. Despite the push for museum employees to not work past their designated hours, you needed some peace of mind, and this was the only place you could get it.

But now you were lip-locked with the owner, your boss, someone you tried so hard not to think about like this… and her hands were making their way into your shorts.

You gasp.

“Lara,” you whine between swipes of your lips.

She responds by pushing you into the desk you always claimed, the files you’d be looking into, and baubles you liked to adorn the surface of it with, disrupted. You reach back with one hand to brace yourself and accidentally smack your little desk lamp off, the shatter of the bulb against the floor stuttering your movements.

“Shit,” you breathe.

“I’ll buy you another one,” she says and splayes her hand on your jaw to guide your gaze back to her. Your free hand tangles into the bottom of her hair, fingers pushing up into the loose bits that weren't tied in a ponytail. You felt the button of your shorts pop, zipper nudged down as her fingers press against the fabric of your underwear.

The peace of mind you needed was from this feeling. From Lara.

You’d been dancing around each other for months with flirty smiles and accidental brushes of your skin against one another. It had built up, all that suffocating tension, until the night before when your co-workers had somehow coerced the notorious homebody, Lara Croft, into going to a local bar. You weren’t sure if you wanted to attend yourself but they insisted so you decided one drink would do.

Four drinks later, you were taking Lara’s hand and pulling her to the dance floor, the live band’s choice of music feeling practically targeted; rhythm and booze. You weren’t sure if Lara had had any drinks herself, but she had a light tinge of pink on her cheeks. Her eyes were locked with yours, the usual shyness between the two of you gone the moment you placed your arms on her shoulders and she pulled you toward her by your belt loops.

The dance you shared was the definition of intimacy with a little bit of fire tacked onto it, writhing against each other effortlessly. The kiss was unplanned. Just like this one. But it was you who’d initiated it the first time and you who quickly pulled away when you felt her freeze. Embarrassment trickled over your cheeks in the form of a blush and before you could even think to stop yourself, intoxicated or not, you were apologizing and leaving the bar.

 That’s why you were working after hours.

That’s why you were surprised to see Lara walking over to you, that same pink tinge on her cheeks, trying effortlessly to avoid turning her gaze downwards when she spoke.

“You’re not supposed to be here this late.” There was no anger or authority in her voice, in fact, it was barely a whisper.

“Neither are you,” you managed.

Then she was on you, practically knocking you into the fossil you’d been examining. The mask you wore? Torn from your neck and tossed somewhere else in the lab. It was a whirlwind of stumbling and redirecting your momentum from precious artifacts before you ended up against your desk, but worth every second.

Lara’s fingers press against your clit, fabric rubbing gently and coaxing a moan out of you, which she devours. This was a different sort of Lara, one you’d have never expected with the way she presented herself to the world. Well-spoken but soft in practically everything she did… But those calloused fingers that were now touching you, running themselves up and down your folds, made you think twice about the woman before you.

Your legs spread naturally, even without her knees nudging them apart, and you lean most of your weight back onto the desk. Papers join the broken glass on the floor and your miscellaneous items topple over one another.

Everything was spinning. Lara’s lips were hot as they trailed kisses down your neck, teeth and breath against the sensitive skin there. She pushes down your tank top and your loose-fitting sports bra until she can hungrily pull one of your nipples into her mouth. Instinctively, the hand you had in her hair twists and grips her ponytail enough to tug it roughly.

She moans at that, a guttural sound that lets you know that she enjoyed the sting of the motion and that knowledge on its own sends a hot sensation from your lower body up to your already burning cheeks. Lara’s tongue runs over the sensitive skin she’d previously claimed all while her fingers go to work inside of you.

All of this was so much, but this was everything you’d secretly wanted the moment you saw her. You just hadn’t imagined she might have felt the same way.

The museum’s silence felt even louder now that your gasps, groans, and moans filled the space. You’d never have even thought to do this, not in public and certainly not in your workplace, but this was just… so good. And who was going to stop you? Your boss? Well…

Lara’s teeth bit down just hard enough on your nipple to pull you out of your thoughts and make you hyper-aware that you were going to combust at any moment.

“Lara, please,” you cry. Your name escapes her as a mumble against your skin.

Her thumb continues the circles against your clit while her other digits find purchase inside of you, nudging against the exact spot you need. She knew because every time she rubbed it your breath hitched. Jumping each others’ bones felt like a dream not just a few days ago, dropping your gaze from her like she could read your thoughts, and at this point, you were convinced she might have been able to all along.

You tumble over the edge, a moan louder than you intended tumbling from your mouth as your body convulses with every extra touch Lara applies. It’s a quiet comedown, slow, and her lips are back to that softness you would have initially expected from her. She pulls her hands away from your body, propping them on the desk on either side of you, and you take a moment to catch your breath.

“That was… unexpected,” you breathe, a small laugh escaping you.

“Sorry,” she mutters. You manage to pick your head up to finally look at her face, a smirk tugging at the edge of her mouth. A smile grows on your lips in response.

“No need to be sorry.”

“Well, not entirely true.” She nods to the floor on the side of your desk. “I did break your desk lamp.”

“Oh.” Your gaze turns downward. “True… It was pretty expensive,” you exaggerate, face scrunching a bit when you turn back to her.

“How can I repay you?” she asks, lips hovering close to yours once more.

“Mmm,” you mumble, looking between her and the lamp. “I think dinner will suffice.”

“Deal,” she responds, that bit of shyness returning to her demeanor. “I’ll go grab a dustpan.”

“In a bit,” you say. This time it’s you grabbing onto her and gently pushing her back onto your desk, careful to avoid the glass as you drop to your knees.

[tealvneu]

Side plot of the Luke Athenide au where future Hermes gets sent to the past with Luke and the whole time he’s just silently seething with anger and jealousy at the fact his past self is trying to steal away his baby

Or Luke just has two over protective dads around him at all time protecting him from godly suitors

Oh god that would be Luke's worst nightmare 😭😭 future Hermes would be so jealous and overprotective — especially when Luke is seemingly warming up to Ancient Greece Hermes (because AG!Hermes is very open about this whole fatherly feelings thing — on account of experiencing them for pretty much the first time —, and despite all his resentment and bitterness there's a part of Luke that always hopes for Hermes to show that he cares for him)!

I can see both Hermes' duking it out while Luke just watches by the side lmao.

Hermes: keep your hands off my baby!!

AG!Hermes: yours?! Say that again to my face you fossil!!

Meanwhile...

Bystander: hey isn't that both of your dads fighting each other

Luke, munching on a piece of flatbread: yeah

Bystander: ...aren't you uh, going to stop them?

Luke: LMAO why would I?? This is my equivalent of a 12-episode Netflix drama

[nazrigar]

Transformers All-Sparks: Titans of Industry and Heroes of SCIENCE

In Transformers All-Sparks, with the fall of Cobra means an new time of relative peace, and also new opportunities to change the world.

These are the folks that are the movers and shakers in the background of the AU, from robotics to energy. Also Inhumanoid references!

Titans of Industry

Isaac Sumdac: Of all the industries revolutionizing the modern age, few have made an impact that Sumdac has made with robotics. Almost every college and university grad aims to one work on Sumdac System's wonders. Everything from production lines to seamless advanced prosthetics can be attributed to Sumdac. In spite of all this, Sumdac remains dedicated to both his work and trying to be a good person first and foremost. In a world of cutthroat and self serving men, Isaac has a genuine belief in making the world a better place with his inventions. Where and how he was inspired to really push for robotics remains known only to him. Lives in Detroit.

G.B. Blackrock: The man with a hand in almost every energy revolution out there, Blackrock is the owner of Blackrock Enterprises, the company responsible for the production and construction of everything from fossil fuels to renewables in this AU. A strong belief in investing for the long term means that he's very much into investing into alternatives to fossil fuels, not just for energy, but for everything that derives from petroleum. Despite the scope of his company's wealth, he's only "just" a millionaire, for whatever he makes, he donates to causes he really believes, mostly out of a sense of guilt. For what kind of man would he be if he has all the wealth in the world without trying to make it better? Travels a lot, but his company's HQ is in Portland, Oregon.

With the only two unambiguously good business folk outta way let's get to some REAL villains!

Prometheus Black: The OTHER great industralist of Detroit, with far less scruples and morals than Sumdac. A great showman who always makes a new innovation known to the world, and spearheads much research and development in biotechnology and biochemistry. Resents Sumdac, for even he has to rely on Sumdac's work, especially in the field of agricultural sciences.

Blackthorne Shore: A minging magnate and mogul of all things digging up the soil, has an intense rivalry with Blackrock for kneecapping much of the coal trade. Ruthless, with a dominating presence. Currently trying to dig deep into the Earth to try and find… something. Information leaking out since the fall of Cobra indicates a wealth of unknowns that he must find and leave his mark before anyone else. He's not getting younger after all.

World Science Team

In a world… Where the fall of Cobra means the unleashing of unknown variables and technologies to the wider world… one team is dedicated to making sure that they not only don't fall to the wrong hands, but also make all this mad science less mad. They are… WORLD SCIENCE TEAM.

Elise Presser: The team robotics expert. Brilliant in her field of study, but prone to absent mindedness and reckless behavior. Wanted to change the world in her own way, since every robotics whizz is either working FOR Sumdac or wants to bring him down.

Dr. Herc Armstrong: A guy who seemed to be genetically engineered to be a pulp novel scientist and adventurer come to life. The great decisionmaker, outspoken and incredibly courageous.

Dr. Brian Mindbender: Dr. Mindbender was once a peaceful Orthodontist, then an experimental pain relieving device electric brainwave stimulation damaged his mind, causing him to be much more aggressive and easy angered. He joined Cobra out of the promise to "fix" his mind, but Cobra never did, so when Cobra ate itself, he surrendered peacefully, trying to get somebody to hopefully alleviate his pain. As much as modern medicine tried, they never could get him back to his pre-accident days, but at the very least he wasn't going to die, which was was the real risk of his untreated condition. He is World Science Team's resident neurologist, biologist and of course, orthodontist. Cuz someone needs to look over teeth!

Dr. Kenneth Onishi: Dr. Onishi, MASTER OF ENERGY SCIENCES also train enthusiast. Has theories and hypothesis about EVERYTHING. Big Sentai fan.

[sorenphelps]

🦕 emergency🦖

a comic with very sloppy colouring which happens right after this ficlet, and right before this one, both written by @goldenlionprince for The Bodyguard AU. I originally wanted to add a second page, but it's mostly dialogue, so I attempted to write it instead. It's about 500 words, and should be read after the above comic page. Thanks for the beta @neverenoughmarauders. Also tagging @lovelymasks & @diamondmeadow.

“It is real and I just can't keep it under control anymore, okay? Yesterday he kissed me and I let him! I should be focused on his safety, but I... If he hadn't stopped I don't think I would have... I mean, I slept with my gun out of reach, damnit! What if someone attacked us?! And it's not just that I'm overworked and underfucked, it’s more like I actually... I want a relationship?... But I can't... You know me, I'm just not cut out for this, I shouldn’t...” Sirius says desperately without taking a single breath.  Remus is still a little angry at him for making him so worried and rush to the museum, but his friend asks for his help so he will try his best. Sirius looks quite concerned after all. “Okay, take a breath and calm down. You know that having emotions is normal human behaviour, right? And contrary to popular belief, you are also just a mere human.” “Oh yeah, thank you for reminding me that he’s way out of my league!” Sirius snaps at him. “Oh, come on, we all know that’s not true!” Remus snaps back. “If you are so worried about your feelings, maybe you should just find yourself a hobby instead? Ever thought about doing pottery?”  Remus knows he’s acting like a little shit, but you can’t deny a man his pleasures. Plus it is sure to anger Sirius. Ironically, anger can clear his mind better than logical reasoning in stressful situations. “That is precisely all I am doing! Come on, Remus, haven’t you paid any attention to what I’ve been saying?!”  Sirius runs his fingers through his hair nervously, notices the familiarity of the movement, and again, starts thinking about James. He really is a goner. He lets out a frustrated grunt. “Look, I’m sorry for using the dino code, but I really need your help.” “All right. How can I help you though? If you want an emotional support plushie, I’m afraid you have to buy that yourself, but I promise I won’t tell the cashier that it is not actually a gift for your imaginary 5-years-old nephew. I can’t really make you fall out of love, but I can make you another emergency package with some books about love and a few packs of condoms. I can also talk you through it, or just silently let you figure it out yourself, while we look at some fossils. Or you can come home with me and help me finish folding the laundry.” “That's what you had to abandon? Wow, Lupin, I almost felt bad for a moment for interrupting your schedule of very important tasks with my problem.”  He looks a little less stressed, but it only lasts until they cover the possibility of a relationship again. “I really want this, Remus, but… How do I not fuck this up so badly that he ends up running away to marry my cousin?!..” “Don’t be dramatic, you already ran out of available cousins to marry.” “Marry my brother then…” “Don’t be ridiculous, they haven't even spoken a word to each other, besides the only thing they have in common is you… Calm down, and use that big brain of yours to figure out what you really want. Then we can think about how to make that happen, okay?”

[honey-minded-hivemind]

For 🌑Hidden In The Dark💉 AU, I'm imagining Reader acting almost like a best friend or sibling to the X-Teens and Brotherhood kids, and being like a child to the adult X-Men and Brotherhood. Like, surprise, you've survived this h*llhole you've been stuck in for who knows how long, and you're finally rewarded with: some random teen who treats you like a person. And they can't get enough of them.

If you have Jean and Scott, for them, finally, they get to have a younger sibling/friend! They've been alone for quite some time, and they miss the others, but when Reader is sometimes put with them, they're ready to accept whatever they're going to talk to them about. They want someone to care for, someone to love them, and this younger teen is in awe of their powers. How could they not adore them? They just wish they've met the Professor, so he wouldn't be alone, either... (Plus Storm and Wolverine and Kitty and Kurt and Evan and Rogue-)

Kitty and Kurt see a friend, if not a sibling, in Reader. Someone closer to their age, who wants to know them? AND isn't partially crazy? Sign them up! They'll gladly talk Reader's ear off, talking about what they remember of their lives before they were stuck in the facility and labs, and will encourage Reader to tell them about their life, too. Will gladly hug Reader, even fall asleep near them, if not right next to them, if they're cellmates for awhile.

Evan and Rogue are a bit more wary, but slowly accept Reader as being genuine. They can sense they're scared, and that they're wary, too. But that doesn't stop Reader from simply giving them space and asking what their boundaries are, so they don't overstep them. And the two of them are surprised, and pleased. When they can, they try to appear put together in front of Reader, wanting to be someone they look to when trouble comes around (and it comes around quite often...)

Pietro and Wanda are both teasing/cold towards Reader at first. This person has to be insane to think any of them can be friends! But- they don't stop. And when they keep being careful around them, letting them vent and get their anger out- They realize Reader still isn't leaving them alone. If anything, Reader just lets them get it out, and asks if they want some of their water. And now, the twins realize they DO have someone on their side. Sure, Reader is still, well, not as dark or crazy or powerful as some of them, but hey, they're their Reader, alright? And no one replaces them.

Todd and Fred like Reader from the get-go. Someone who is sweet and doesn't yell or scream or snap at anyone in anger? And who hardly lashes out? Is this person real? Are they an angel? It doesn't matter to them, as they're gonna be buddies with them. This is someone who isn't crazy or mean, so why not just let them be? It doesn't hurt anything, no siree.

Lance lets Reader do most of the talking between them, but he doesn't mind listening. Especially when they mention different rocks and gems and fossils they've read about before they were there. They also give him updates on the others, letting him know who all is okay and who isn't, so he worries just a little less (not by much, but he appreciates Reader doing him a solid, and he plans to repay them, somehow)

Piotr (Colossus), John (Pyro), and Gambit are pretty alright with Reader. Someone who willingly shares their food and water and lets them talk and show off? That's alright with them. While Piotr is very gentle, Pyro can be more intense, and Gambit always seem to have an idea of what he is doing. They agree (when they do get to see each other, which isn't often) that Reader is off-limits if everyone gets in a fight. No one uses them as bait, no one attacks them, none of that. And anyone who breaks that rule can face them.

Xavier is rather calm when he sees Reader. He knows their mind is troubled at times, trying to make sense of their situation and struggling to adapt, and he knows they believe a few of them aren't entirely safe to be around... but he also senses kindness in them, and a want to do the right thing, regardless of where it leaves them. So he treats them with kindness, and tries to keep them calm. If he messes with any of the guards, so they don't hurt Reader... well, perhaps a push in the right direction isn't so bad, now, is it?

Magneto views Reader as a child. They are more innocent than the rest them (and it won't be long before they're warped, too), so he sees them as someone to protect. He hardly sees them, but when he does, he promises to help them and the others, and tells them of the different feats he and the other adults have done. He knows Xavier is interested in them, and that soothes some of his fears. Once they're free, though... oh, the humans will rue the day they hurt them and caged them like animals...

Logan is protective of the kids whenever he sees them. Seeing Reader, someone new, and finding our they're gentle towards him and the others... He views them as smaller, weaker, someone he needs to be around constantly or they'll get hurt (he's sadly right). When he's able to, he curls around them, trying to make sure Reader feels safe enough to sleep, and offering warmth and safety while they rest. He knows sometimes, when he's lost in his instincts, he frightens them... But he also knows the only thing he does is act like a mama or papa animal, simply keeping its kid safe and warm from the monsters waiting to hurt them... And he promises to hurt whoever hurts them, that's a promise he intends to keep...

Victor is similar to Logan, especially when Reader offers him their own food and water, and takes their time trying to treat him as a person. He's surprised he cares, but doesn't mind after a day or so. A pup is stuck with him every now and again and doesn't shy away or cry, except when he gets mad at the guards. And when he falls into his instincts and wraps around them, keeping himself between them and the door... Oh, he adores getting to have a cub like them. They might shake a bit, or cry when he gets his claws bloody, but he makes sure to wipe or lick away the tears, offering warmth and protection against the scientists and guards. And he knows once he and his baby brother are free, they'll destroy this place, and have their vengeance, for them and their friends and the pups...

Storm is able to keep her emotions in check when Reader is around. As long as Reader and Evan are alright (they're the two kids she is shown) then she'll stay calm. But if those two are hurt... she wreaks havoc on the insolent fools who hurt her kids. If Reader is upset, she's offering them hugs and soothing words. If they tell her how everyone else is doing, she's thankful that they'd tell her. And even when she can't always be around them... she makes sure to threaten anyone who would think to harm them. Death by lightning is not a pretty way to go, after all...

Mystique tries to show her best self to Reader, but can't help when she gets desperate at times. She misses Rogue, she misses Kurt, she misses the Brotherhood, and she's kept alone, in solitary confinement most of the time. Having someone, anyone, feels good, unless it a scientist. But having Reader promise to let her know how the others are doing, promising to care for them... It earns them her protection, even if they don't know it. She'll keep them all safe, she'll avenge them all, all of the adults will, just give them enough time to set the plan and place, and then... They'll all be the ones with the power, the ones who are triumphant...

Beast is able to keep most of his sanity intact. He tries to stay on his best behavior, because that's the only way he can check on his friends and students. It's nice, having Reader around, to help check on everyone. He admits he's attached, as they also check on him. They are polite, too, which is nice to see. He... he really hopes they make it. He hopes they survive. If they can just hold in a little longer, stay strong just for a few more weeks or months, they'll be ready to break all of them out, and it'll all be over...

When Reader starts taking beatings for them, starts putting themself up to get get hurt so the others aren't, everyone gets scared. Angry. A few try to fight back. Some try to talk Reader out of it. Some even try to kill the guards, just to keep them away. But each time something happens or some false problem is brought up, Reader takes the blame or asks to be punished instead. And now Reader is used against them. If they step out of line, Reader is hurt. If they disobey, Reader is taken away. When they're left to take care of Reader after they've been beaten or experimented on, most of them just try to hold them and offer what comfort they can. If they can just stick around a little longer, if they just don't leave them, they promise they'll be safe one day. Just please, please, don't go yet... They wouldn't know what to do without them...

(Feel free to ask about this au if you want...)

[agent-troi]

Find Five Lines Tag

Thanks for the double tag @television-overload and @randomfoggytiger 🫶🫶

Rules: find any lines in your WIP that fit each parameter given by the person who tagged you. Then change one of the parameters and tag five or more people. Can be lines from multiple WIPs. If you can't find a line that fits, feel free to change the prompt.

Lol since I was tagged twice I got six prompts:

My lines: a line about family, a passionate line, a line expressing dread, a line expressing relief, a line that is screamed, a funny line

Your lines: a line about family, a passionate line, a line expressing anger, a line that is screamed, a funny line

For once I actually do have a WIP in the works (an AU where Scully is an astronaut, also a prequel to Purplerow by my friend @katy-kt-katie), progress on which got stalled when my apartment building burned down (long story) so we'll see if I can find a line for every prompt (some of them might be stretching it a bit but idc lol):

Family:

The colony had been established for research purposes, so the survivors consisted of some three hundred assorted biochemists, geologists, physicists, botanists, and the like, as well as their spouses and children— those few that had them, and also were able to convince them to uproot their lives and make a new home on another world. Ironically, they now had to do so yet again, although not by choice.

Passionate: (maybe not the kind of passion y'all had in mind but it's what i've got lmao)

Dana knelt to the ground to collect a soil sample. “It’s just that– we’re on Mars. We might find fossilized evidence of microscopic life today. I don’t wanna think about my problems with Ed. I wanna think about how much I love my job.”

Dread:

A skittering noise came from behind her. “Dana?” No sound but her heavy breathing in her ears. “Dana, are you still there?” She slowly turned around, hopping on one foot. “Dana? Dana!”

Relief: don't really have one for this and i'm too tired to dive through my other fics looking for one lol but i already had five different prompts so this was technically a bonus hehe

Screamed:

Dana looked down just in time to see a web of thin cracks spider outwards beneath her boots with an ominous crumbling sound. Before she could process what was happening, the ground gave way from under her and she cried out in alarm as she plunged down into a fathomless darkness.

Funny:

“Scully? Earth to Commander Scully, come in please!” Dana rolled her eyes. “That’s not funny, Monica.” A chuckle sounded over the other end of the comm system. “Sorry, Dana, I couldn’t help it. Seriously, though, are you okay? You kinda spaced out for a second there– no pun intended.” “Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about Ed again. When did he start being such an ass? That was a rhetorical question,” she added before Monica could respond. “Being on this mission has not been good for his ego.” “His ego isn’t good for his ego. He wouldn’t even be on this mission at all if he wasn’t so good at his job, and everybody knows it. You could do so much better than him, you know that?”

Tagging @katy-kt-katie @tofuttim @doctorbeverlycrusher @keldabe-kriff @eighthprincessofheart @mollybecameanengineer and whoever else wants to do this bc i'm so late responding to this i'm sure everyone i know has been tagged already😂

[duckapus]

Some ideas I've had for new Pokemon Abilities

Abilities similar to Normalize, Pixelate, etc.: (so they convert Normal Type moves into another type and give them a slight power boost)

Liquify- Water

Ignite- Fire

Vegetate- Grass

Fossilize- Rock

Erode- Ground

Mechanize- Steel

Infest- Bug

Exercise- Fighting

Inspirit- Ghost

Toxify- Poison

Corrupt- Dark

Drakonize- Dragon

Abilities similar to Scrappy and Corrosion (so ignores immunities):

Uninsulated- Electric Type moves will affect Ground Types

Miracle Vision- Psychic Type moves will affect Dark Types (originally intended as a signature ability for a Mega Jirachi concept)

Manifest- Ghost Type moves will affect Normal Types

Mudslinger- Ground Type moves will affect Flying Types

Glittering Fangs- Dragon Type moves will affect Fairy Types

Tied to specific Fakemon ideas: (I won't be including Forme Change abilities since those kind of need pictures for context)

Patch Job- When the Pokemon is returned without fainting, the next Pokemon to enter battle will be healed a little. The signature ability of Doodoll and Cellouette, and one of the signature abilities of Animaniq.

Slapstick- The Pokemon takes half damage from contact moves, and its Defense is raised by one stage whenever it's hit by one. The other signature ability of Animaniq, which it gets if it evolves from a Cellouette with Dancer (which in turn gets that from a Doodoll with Synchronize).

Blast Sheild- The Pokemon does not take damage from explosion-based moves, and is not knocked out when it uses Explosion and its variants. The signature ability of Mega Electrode, though I did give it to Bob-omb and Bob-ulk in the SMG4 Factory Reset AU.

Event Horizon- Prevents all Pokemon from leaving battle, like Shadow Tag and Arena Trap. The signature ability of Geomatrix since it's basically a living microscopic black hole.

Sand Bath- Functionally identical to Earth Eater, just reflavored for something that isn't a giant worm with a muppet mouth. A hidden ability I came up with for a Ground-Type Eeveelution called Dusteon a few years ago before Orthworm was even a Thing.

Sunbathe- Identical Comatose but the Pokemon also heals in harsh sunlight. The signature ability of a Normal/Grass evolution of Komala called Koalimb.

Out of Body- Comatose combined with Long Reach. The signature ability of a Normal/Psychic evolution of Komala called Astroala.

Inebriated- Comatose but the Pokemon also can't be Confused. The signature ability of a Normal/Fighting evolution of Komala called Kowhallop.

Amplifier- All sound-based attacks increase in power when used in succession. Echoed Voice is not affected due to already having this property. The signature ability of the Normal/Fairy Donandan Smeargle and its evolution Borkestra, who are musicians instead of painters and learn exclusively sound-based moves on level-up instead of exclusively Sketch.

Knight's Code- The Pokemon cannot exit battle if the opponent's level is equal or greater than theirs. The signature ability of the Electric/Steel Donandan Gallade (the rest of the Donandan Ralts line is Electric/Dragon, and can have either Synchronize or Rough Skin, but Gallade can only have Knight's Code.)

Magnetize- When this Pokemon is on the field, no-one's Electric Type moves are able to miss. The signature ability of the Psychic/Electric Donandan Psyduck (Mutant Psyduck in Factory Reset), and one of the signature abilities of Donandan Golduck.

Electrokinesis- Electric Type moves also do Psychic Type damage (calculates the same way as Flying Press). The other signature ability of Donandan Golduck, who will have it if it evolves from a Psyduck with Anger Point.

Phase Shift- Every other turn, the Pokemon goes out-of-phase from the rest of the universe and cannot use or be directly affected by any moves. Items will still work for game balance reasons. The signature ability of the Bug/Dragon Legendary Enigmoth.

Crumble- After five turns, the Pokemon's Speed and Defense are halved. The signature ability of the Ghost Type Regiruin.

Pollution- When this Pokemon enters battle the air is filled with toxic gas for five turns (or until someone uses Defog). During that time any Pokemon that can be Poisoned will be and any Pokemon that can't will have their Special Defense lowered, including the Pokemon responsible. The signature ability of the Poison Type Regismog.

Incomprehensible- All Pokemon who see this Pokemon will be confused. Does not affect Pokemon who can't be confused, Pokemon with something obscuring their vision (hair, closed eyes, Minior before its shell breaks, etc.), or Pokemon who are just plain blind like Sliggoo and Zubat. The signature ability of the Psychic Type Regiwarp.

Crusade- If the Pokemon lands a Super Effective attack, its Attack and Special Attack go up by one stage. If it misses any attack, it takes damage. The signature ability of the Dark Type Regirook.

Haunted- The Pokemon functions as though it is a Ghost Type in addition to whatever other types it has. The signature ability of the Grass/Fire Mega Gourgeist.

Natural Curse- Any Pokemon who cames into contact with this Pokemon become Grass Type for the rest of the battle. The signature ability of Mega Trevenant.

Miscellaneous:

inner Fire- Identical to Haunted but for Fire Types. Technically it's exclusive to a certain Pokemon but that has to do with spoilers for the Papa Meowth AU fic I'll hopefully actually write someday.

Contagious- Contact with the Pokemon either Poisons the opponent, replaces the opponent’s ability with Contagious, or both. It would be a signature ability for the Electric/Poison Donandan Pikachu and Raichu, but I also came up with a pure Poison type called Atchu based on a cold virus that has that as its only ability.

Clean Sweep- When the Pokemon enters battle it removes all entry hazards (including ones you've set on the opponent's side) and prevents any more being set as long as it's on the field.

Atomic- The power of Explosion and its variants is doubled

Mind over Matter- Huge Power but for Special Attack

[ivathedemon]

basically why shelly hangs out with srimpo instead of the mains

masterpost also unrelated doodles underneath

i love them

this was accidental but i laughed when i saw it so u can too

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Pokemon AU

Veronica Sawyer: Pokemon Researcher

Assistant to Prof. Fleming

While starting her journey, she encountered Ram and Kurt, who work for Team Rocket, trying to harass the Heathers and steal their Pokemon, and stepped in and beat them in a battle

The Heathers, being the useless Lesbians they are, invited her to their group seeing not only her strength, but also that she was hot

Veronica, who was unsure about what she really wanted out of life, decided to join them in their journey, forgetting that she was planning on traveling with Martha

Martha gets extremely upset and ends their friendship over this, bc the Heathers, more specifically Duke, bullied her in the past and she couldn't believe that Veronica would choose her bullies over her

Veronica is desperate to reconnect but is afraid their friendship has gone past a point of no return

She meets JD on her travels and she enters a love triangle between her, him and the Heathers

Eventually develops feelings for the Heathers after spending so much time with them over her travels and seeing their soft sides

Decides to study ancient Pokemon, more specifically Hisuian forms after discovering them with JD

Team;

Blastoise (Mega) - Starter given by Fleming

Aurorus - Found as a Sail Fossil while stuck in a cave with JD

Hisuian Liligant - Started Veronica's interest in Hisuian Forms, discovered in a special grove for the few remaining Hisuian Pokemon

Espeon - Given as an Eevee by the Heathers as a gift for joining their group

Corviknight

Chandelure

Heather Chandler: Pokemon Trainer

Wants to be the very best, aiming to become Champion

Absolutely loathes JD

Has a bad habit of pushing her Pokemon too hard in training to try and get them to be stronger

Her Pokemon build a resentment towards her because of how she treats them, and it's part of why JD doesn't like her

Eventually Mac had to step in and mediate between Chandler and her Pokemon because they refused to listen to her any longer

Her first instinct is to throw money at any of her problems, if that fails she sends out her Blaziken and threatens to burn down the building if she doesn't get her way

Being out in the world away from her family shows her that she can't always get what she wants and that anger gets her nowhere

Is already in an established relationship with the other Heathers when they meet Veronica, but when they meet her they all agree to try and invite her into their relationship eventually

This is the other point of contention between her and JD, they both fight over who gets to seduce her without Veronica finding out

Team:

Blaziken (Mega) - Starter

Jolteon - Gift from Mac when they first became friends

Tsareena

Nidoqueen

Kingdra - The 3 of them are all regal Pokemon, which help feed into her superiority complex

Annihilape - The straw that broke the camerupt's back with her Pokemon, she pushed her Primeape too far that it got so angry that it died and evolved into Annihilape and went on a rampage

Heather Duke: Pokemon Ranger

She travels to different ranger stations around the region, essentially interning at them to see where she would like to work after she finishes her journey

The cook for the group

Her and Martha were friends when they were really little, Martha gifted her a Ralts from her parent's Gardevoir who had twin eggs

They fell apart after Duke became friends with the Heathers and they started bullying Martha

Her Ralts evolved into Gallade while Martha's evolved into Gardevoir and they have an intense rivalry

She's really guilty about how she treated Martha, but is too afraid to apologize to her, especially because of how the Heathers took Martha's best friend twice now

Team;

Meowscarada - Starter

Vaporeon - Gift from Mac when they became friends

Gallade

Honchkrow

Pyroar (Female)

Scizor - Caught bc it would be useful with Ranger stuff, like cutting down branches to get through the woods

Heather McNamara: Pokemon Breeder

Her Dad breeds rare pokemon such as regional variants or uncommon Pokemon, like Eevee

Thats where Mac keeps getting the Eevees to give to people, she gives them out as a sign of friendship

She dislikes battling, bc she hates seeing them getting hurt

She's been around Pokemon as long as she can remember, eventually she will take over the family business

Has a soft spot for orphaned/injured Pokemon

Occasionally participates in contests, she thinks they are fun and a opportunity to show off the unique pokemon her dad breeds

Her and Martha had a heart-to-heart after one contest

Martha had completely dominated the contest, she worked her butt off

Mac came to congratulate her after bc she could see how hard Martha had worked and Martha got really upset bc she expected a rich popular girl like her to throw a fit over not winning and the fact that she was congratulating her was messing with her perceptions of how the Heathers were

Mac opened up to her about the Heathers and how Duke and Chandler just use their bitchiness as a front and how Duke really does feel bad about how she treated her in the past

In return Martha vented about how the Heathers had treated her and how abandoned she felt by Veronica choosing them over her and Mac apologized and told her about how they met and why she actually joined

Team;

Ampharos (Mega) - Starter, Ampharos is a common guardian pokemon at the ranch her dad owns so she was given a Mareep to start out with

Flareon - One of the Eevees that her dad bred, she was given as a present

Alolan Ninetales - Another present from her dad

Bewear - During her journey, she found a orphaned and injured Stufful alone and dying, she nursed it back to health and it joined her team

Gengar - Found pulling pranks on people while they were at a Ranger station, the Rangers + Duke stopped it and it took a liking to Mac

Lapras - It was being attacked by some Sharpedo, and after the Heathers defeated them, it joined Mac's team as thanks

JD: Pokemon Trainer

He's on the run from his Dad, Big Bud Dean, who is the leader of Team Rocket

His dad uses pokemon who are able to explode to threaten people into handing over their pokemon, money or whatever he's after

Bc of this, JD developed a fear of any pokemon that can use explosion, like Golem, Electrode, etc.

He wants to confront his dad, but bc of his fear he can't do it alone and is journeying for strong trainers who can help him

Finds Martha shortly after the initial confrontation with the Heathers and befriends her and joins her on her travels

He shouts super loudly during her contests, to the point of embarrassing Martha

Falls in love with Veronica when they first meet

This starts a rivalry with him and Chandler, and he always beats her in battle because of how she treated her pokemon

Once she starts treating them right, she starts to win against him

Tries to get Veronica to leave the Heathers and apologize to Martha

He doesn't actually hate the Heathers, he just dislikes how they changed Veronica, at least from what Martha told him

Team;

Hydreigon - Starter, it has rage issues and JD rarely brings it out

Tyrantrum - Found as a Jaw fossil in the same cave Veronica found her Sail fossil

Vanilluxe - FRRRREEEEEZZZZZEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNN but fr it makes slushies which he couldn't otherwise get while not in towns

Lucario (Mega)

Basculegion - Caught at the same time that Veronica got her Hisuian Liligant

Crobat - Caught during an argument with Chandler over how she treats her Pokemon, arguing that JD had no room to judge her bc he wasn't friends with his Pokemon either, so he caught a Golbat and said that by the next time they met it would be a Crobat (bc Golbat evolves via friendship), and sure enough it was

Martha Dunnstock: Contest Star

When she found out that Veronica was going to join the Heathers, she became livid that she was losing her best friend to the Heathers for a second time

This inspires her to become Contest Champion by herself, to prove that she doesn't need friends to succeed

That was the first time in her life that she had stood up for herself, and while it felt good, she regretted the way she broke her friendship with Veronica and after she realized that Veronica probably didn't realize that joining the Heathers meant abandoning her

But she decided that she will not go back to Veronica unless she apologizes first

Prefers Fairy Types

Team;

Gardevoir (Mega)

Galarian Rapidash - Won as a prize from the Contest that Mac had joined earlier, Mac hoped to get it to give to her Dad to breed more bc Galarian Rapidash are hard to come by. Martha had wanted one since she was a kid and was part of why she worked so hard to win that contest

Sylveon - Evolved from the Eevee Mac gave her after their heart-to-heart

Mimikyu - She found it all scared and alone, and she related to it's story of being a Pokemon that disguised itself so that people would love it, and it joined her team

Togekiss

Azumarill

[wetcatspellcaster]

I am so curious to know the background on this! :D

“Now, sweetheart,” he commanded. “I think you should kiss me again. And if you can’t make it nice, at least make it interesting.”

So, he was leaving her to do all the work. Rosalie bit her lip, in uncertainty and in anger, as she examined him, puzzling out his motives. Was he trying to make her feel wretched, again? Forcing her to act, so she condemned herself?

She said she’d been to therapy - and she had, extensively - but there was always going to be that little pit of self doubt in her stomach, no matter what. Especially with Astarion.

It felt selfish, given how immensely she’d failed him, to turn over the other parts of their relationship like fossils for examination. But one of the cruellest parts, about never getting to see things through to end, was never knowing what they truly could’ve been - what he would’ve wanted with her, in time. She didn’t know what he liked, and what he’d pretended to like.

Hello lovely, thank you for sending the ask!

Read myself for filth, commentary one: The first two paragraphs is how a person who can't write E-rated fics tries to write D/S undertones without writing enough spice to ever actually earn those tags. Never sure if I'm successful, but my god I could be a Level 7 rogue for the amount I dance around things and evade them.

So this is one of the few times Rose gets close to a good insight check, I guess bc the DC is lower than average! Astarion was trying to humiliate her, force her to admit she wanted him, force her to act on her own initiative rather than be 'seduced', meaning that she is culpable and cannot deny that fact later on. Wouldn't make sense for him to be lying about that, in fact it serves him and his purpose to make it very, very obvious, bc that makes it all the more embarrassing for her at her end.

Astarion does love her/want her, etc (that's what he's rolling deception on lmao). But he does also want her to condemn herself, it's a game. He wants to prove he has power over her, to prove she was wrong for abandoning him, and he's also testing her. He is making her physically uncomfortable, yet she's seemingly unable to resist or leave, regardless. He is also testing to see if she falls for the trap he sets for everyone: of deciding whether she is attracted to him enough to ignore all her other morals and constraints, and will thus place herself wilfully in danger.

As to the final two paragraphs - this Tav has some absolutely rock bottom self esteem, even if in this AU timeline she's kind of too powerful for that to serve her anymore, honestly. But another thing about getting an Evil Ending with a break up is that her relationship with Astarion was: Act 1 seduction: 'I successfully romanced him, oh no it turns out it was all an act', Act 2 'I don't think we should have sex anymore, idk if we ever will again': 'oh no, everything I did before now was making him uncomfortable and I never realised', then Act 3: turbo charged sex demon tells you you're worthless. So I feel like it makes sense for her to have a lot of self doubt around sex or intimacy with Astarion, bc she doesn't have any real knowledge of what the man she knew would've wanted - they never got to unpack what parts were an act and which parts weren't, and they crucially never got their graveyard resolution scene.

She has no belief that she ever correctly understood what he wanted or needed and so yeah. She'd be scared of getting it wrong again. What if he was doing all this just to turn around and tell her that she was never what he wanted at all?

She is also just... very attracted to him :') that makes a lot of people self-conscious in these kind of situations lmao

And yeah, I think that that kind of petty, insignificant insecurity carries a lot of guilt as well. I do think she's talked about it in therapy. Your boyfriend lost his soul while you watched... why would you obsess over whether the physical intimacy was good or not? That's cringe, and way down the list of priorities. But it's also a very human insecurity and she's fallible, so unfortunately it is there.

Hope that this was in any way interesting! :)

DVD commentary ask

[creativekitten08]

Dandy's World AU Art: Part 2

Continuing the Dandy's World AU art. This time we have another one of my favorite Toons: Shelly!

Shelly Fossilian

Shelly is one of the Main Character Toons at Gardenview. She loves spending time with her friends, but they usually ignore her or forget her name. She's a paleontologist and is always happy to share many different fossil facts with anyone who wants to listen.

Dino Snore Skin

Star-Time Skin

Vintage Skin

Participation Award Trinket

Twisted Shelly

Shelly was one of the first Twisteds created by Dandy. The anger of being ignored by everyone she called her friends is what fully corrupted her. She's hard to spot because of how small she is compared to the other Twisteds and her ability to blend in with her surroundings. She's extremely dangerous so it's recommended to stay silent when on a floor with her.

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]

in holy matriphony ch1. he said yes! congrats!

ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.

ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s

ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!

ᰔ chapter. 1/x (probably 10)

ᰔ words. 7.8k

a/n. hellooo omg welcome to this debut chapter!! tysm to everyone who wanted to be on taglist for this!! i was gagged at the amount of people!! yall are amazing omg n thanks for supporting my works :''') hope you enjoy this chapter and i will see all you lovelies at the bottom <33

nav. masterlist :: playlist

Love thy neighbor.

Cherish thy neighbor.

Tolerate thy neighbor.

Peacefully coexist with thy neighbor. 

Fuck thy neighbor? No, wait, not that one.

It’s murder thy neighbor. That was the phrase you were looking for.

Murder thy neighbor so gruesomely that you’d leave no trace behind. Murder him and bury him somewhere no one could ever find him, so that even in millions of years from now when some other highly advanced mammalian species overtakes the planet and embarks on journeys to acquire fossils, thy neighbor will still never grace the atmospheric oxygen of the earth ever again. It’s the punishment he’d deserve for thoroughly pissing you off at the worst times possible and in the worst ways possible. The smallest of prices to pay.

“SATORU!!!” you yell, storming up the sudsy driveway of your next-door neighbor’s house at eight in the morning, clad in your dirty scrubs from the hell of a night shift you just endured working at the hospital, glass containers inside the lunchbox you were holding hitting painfully against the poor joint in your knee but you just don’t care. Anger is all you can see right now.

Your neighbor (derogatory) stands there in his pajamas with a spray nozzle in his hands, passively spraying water across the top surface of his car, and when he sees you, he pulls his left airpod out of his ear and looks you up and down once. You’re pretty sure there’s steam coming out of your ears. “Uh, do you mind? I’m trying to wash my car.”

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to park your stupid boat in front of my driveway?!” you yell at him, voice hoarse and nails digging into the skin of your palms by the clench of your fists.

“Hm?” he leans back a little to glance past you to his boat. “Oh, you mean my 2023 Boston Whaler 220 Dauntless with low profile bow rail welded stainless steel, Mercury FourStroke hydraulic power steering and, not to mention, a platinum gelcoat hull? That silly old thing? It’s not even parked in front of your driveway.”

“Yes. It is. Are you blind? I can’t move my car into my garage, hence why it’s running idle on the fucking street right now. Your boat’s on my property.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes. It is.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Uh. Yuh-huh.”

“Honey. I’m a real estate agent. You don’t think I’d know where my own property line starts and ends?”

“Park. It. On. Your. Drive. Way.”

“I spent a lot of money on that boat,” he sighs, “I intend to show it off on the street. Stop acting like there isn’t more than enough room for your tiny prius. It’s not my fault you have the motor skills of a toddler and don’t know how to pull into a driveway,” he pauses for a second and tilts his head upwards in thought, “Oh. Motor skills, haha, get it? Fuck, that’s funny. Hold on, I gotta jot that down,” he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his cotton plaid pajama pants, “my niece would love that. She gets all giggly about puns these days. It’s her birthday next weekend, by the way, turning five.”

“Oh, right,” you scratch the top of your head (been too busy to wash your hair), and realize the ponytail you threw your hair up into at the beginning of your shift last night is now barely hanging on for dear life, “I forgot to tell you, but my cousin said he can’t rent that pony out for her birthday party anymore. Apparently it died.”

He stares at you. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Damn.”

“Mm.”

He shrugs. “That’s fine, thanks anyway,” he swipes up on his phone, “they had crazy hair day at her elementary school yesterday, wanna see a picture?”

“Sure.”

He turns his phone to show you. “My sister let her cut her hair a little shorter this time since she wouldn’t stop asking. I guess all her friends at school were cutting theirs short too so they wanted to be matching.”

“Aww,” you pout with a small smile when you see the picture, “I think it suits her. That’s a lot of glitter though, y’know that stuff’s really bad for the environment.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, turning his phone screen back to face him, “anyway. I was halfway convinced you just came from some crazy hair day when I saw you stomp up my driveway just now.”

“I’m gonna guillotine your head off with the trunk door of my car. Now move your boat.”

“Hold on one sec,” he says, holding a finger right up to your face, and you flinch backwards slightly before going cross-eyed to stare at it, and then you’re glaring at him again. His phone is ringing in his hand. “I gotta take this.”

“Wha–” you try to interrupt him, but he just says shhh and shakes his finger in front of you, which makes you want to bite it off.

“Hi, Donna!” he exclaims into his phone, “so good to hear from you. Oh, no, not at all, you caught me at the perfect time. I’m just washing my car. Nah, you’re not interrupting anything.”

The urge to smack him consumes you.

“Oh okay, cool, I’m glad you took some time to think about it. Let me know when you want to meet again, if you’re still interested in the house, we can make an offer. Uh huh. Yeah. Sorry, what’s that? Oh,” he pulls his phone from his ear to look at the time, “yeah, that’s fine. Is that the one on 6th street? Sure, I’ll see you then. By the way, how was little Tommy’s soccer game yesterday?...Aw, that’s okay, he’ll get the next one. Hm? Yeah, what’s up? Oh, you know that I’d love to, and there’s no one that enjoys your green bean casserole more than I do, but I’m actually busy tonight! I know! Bummer! Maybe some other time? Alright. Yeah, thanks, you too. Take care. Bye.” He presses the end call on his phone, and there’s an awkward silence as he narrows his eyes at the screen in concentration for a moment while typing something onto it, and then the corner of his eye catches sight of something in his periphery, that something being you, and he jumps a little.

“Oh fuck,” he places a hand on his chest and exhales, “I didn’t know you were still standing there.”

“I’m seriously going to whack you across the face with my lunch box right now.” 

“That gigantic industrial lunch box you carry around for your 12-hour shifts?” he points at your hand, “you’d have blood on your hands. I’d be dead.”

“Yeah, that’s the goal, idiot.”

“You’re so fucking violent, jeez, I bet the inside of your head looks like the inside of Jeffrey Dahmer’s. How do you sleep at night?”

“With fifteen milligrams of melatonin, blackout curtains, a satin sleeping mask, and in the mornings.”

“...that didn’t make you sound like any less of a serial killer.”

“Whatever, at least I don’t have a complex for elderly divorced women. You know that what you do for work isn’t any better than prostitution, right?” 

“Okay. Now I have to hear where you’re going with this.”

You cross your arms across your chest, and your gigantic industrial sized lunch box with the millions of glass containers inside of it hits your hip painfully, enough to warrant a wince, but you keep a straight face as to not show any weakness. “You flirt with vulnerable women who have just gotten out of probably extremely heartbreaking marriages from their cheating country golf club husbands, and pretend to care about all their drama, just so that they’d buy a house from you. I literally heard you say to a lady the other day,” and you do your absolute best to mock him in the most insulting way possible, “‘it’s okay Lorraine. If you’re still struggling to fill your new house with someone new too, then you know where to find me.’”

“Yeah. She wanted to rent out her guest bedroom. I was gonna help her look for tenants.” 

“O-Oh,” you stutter, but stand up straighter, “doesn’t matter. You still pimp yourself out for a sale.”

“So what if I do? I’m hot, why wouldn’t I take advantage of that? You could’ve done the same thing too, but you didn’t, and now you’re stuck working miserable nursing shifts that are probably taking years off of your lifespan.”

“You’re the one taking years off of my lifespan. Now move your fucking boat.”

He sighs and slips his phone back into his pocket before walking past you to your car, that still had the driver’s side door open and was idle in the middle of the street.

“W-Where are you going?” you ask.

“I’m gonna park your car in your garage for you,” he says, waving his hand up in the air dismissively because he knows you’re about to protest, and then he ducks his head into your car, reaching his arm in for the lever that moves the seat backwards, and adjusts it all the way back before he’s able to take a seat at the wheel. And your yelling is a pestering he pays no mind to as he shuts the door.

“Wait– I didn’t give you permission to–” you shout as you step into your driveway, holding your arms out because you’re scared he’s gonna chip off your side mirror on the stern of his boat, but he deftly pulls your car into the driveway. He also almost runs you over in the process.

When he gets out of your car inside your garage, you storm right up to him and yank your car keys out of his hand. “You almost flattened me over my own driveway.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have been standing there,” he easily retorts and leans against your car before crossing his arms over his chest. “Also, case proven, there’s more than enough space to pull your car in. You’re just piss poor at parking.”

“I swear to fucking god. If you’re ever in a life-threatening emergency and wind up at my hospital, your emergency isn’t going to be the thing that kills you, it’s gonna be the cocktail of deadly meds I inject straight into your veins. And I’ll have it charted like it was a death of natural causes.”

His brow furrows and he frowns, but it’s in that sarcastic way that tells you he’s not threatened by you, and the idea of using the taser in your purse on him is briefly entertained in your mind, “I’ve got Kaiser, hun,” he says, “I wouldn’t go to just any regional hospital for healthcare. Put some damn decorum on my name, Jesus.”

“How is it you’re stupid, an asshole, have a sick fetish for elderly women, and also somehow classist at the same time? Can you pick a struggle please?”

“Stop saying I have a fetish for elderly women,” he hisses at you, “especially with that loud obnoxious voice of yours. Our neighbors are gonna think I’m a creep.” He pretends to shiver.

“But it’s true. I bet you lost your virginity to a fifty-year-old cougar the day you turned eighteen. And to one that was probably grooming you even before then, too.”

His eyes widen. “Damn. How’d you know.”

“That you’re a victim?” you ask, tone derisive, “your entire personality is living proof. Please seek help.”

He rolls his eyes. “I was never groomed, and I didn’t lose my virginity to an elderly woman,” he corrects you, “...although said woman was a little older than me.”

“I’ve literally got no fucking interest in this conversation anymore. Get the fuck out of my garage,” you practically spat at him, “the last thing I need to deal with after getting off of a 12-hour night shift is coming home to your stupid face out on the street.” You push past him, making sure to nudge him with your shoulder but he hardly budges, and you lose balance from your own attack, and now you’re doubly pissed off before you make it to the door with your keys jingling in your hand to find the right one to unlock it.

“Good night,” he calls out to you, and you click the button on the garage door so that it starts closing, and watch him as he panics before ducking his head underneath it to make it outside before you can essentially lock him to rot inside of your garage, and then you shut the door behind you, finally inside the comfort of your home.

Ah. Silence.

But it was never a comfortable one. 

“Mom?” you call out as you open the door out of the laundry room to make it into the living room, and your eyes scan the floor. You don’t see her in the kitchen, or on the couch in front of the TV, sometimes she spends time in the pantry room but she’s not in there today. You round the corner over to where the front entrance of the house is, and you see her standing there, peering out of the window to the other houses on the streets. She holds her hands loosely behind her back, and she’s so still she could be a statue.

“Hey,” you say to her, softly, so as not to startle her. “I’m home.”

She looks over her shoulder at you, and you realize her line of sight was set to next door, where you see Gojo has resumed the wash of his car. “Why are you yelling at that sweet boy across the lawn?” she asks you, “he helped me fix the air conditioning last week.”

Your eyes widen slightly, but then you sigh. Typical Gojo getting involved where he should really just mind his own business. “I’m pretty sure by fix you mean he just pressed a bunch of buttons on the thermostat until it started working again.” 

She doesn’t respond as she continues to stare out onto the street, tilting her head slightly while deep in thought, like she’s trying to make sense of what she sees. 

“Mom,” you gently tug her sleeve, “I think you should get away from the window and get some rest. You look tired, and I need to take you for chemo in the afternoon.”

She gently pulls her elbow away from your grip of her sleeve and turns to look at you. “Mom?” she repeats after you, “why are you calling me ‘mom’? Who are you?”

Your blood runs cold from her words, but you don’t have the time or the luxury to react in the way that you want to, and so you suck in a deep breath. It was one of those days. But it’s cruel that she’ll remember your neighbor and not her own daughter. “I’m your daughter,” you gently reintroduce yourself, to the woman who gave you life, “I know that might be a little weird to hear right now.”

“No…” she says, “I think that makes sense. I’m sorry, dear, I think I have a bad memory these days.” She looks at you with concentration, studying the features of your face. “My daughter, yes. You look…oh, dear, you look like you should sleep.”

You nod slowly, releasing the breath you were holding. “Yes. You too, mom.”

You place your gigantic industrial lunch box on the kitchen counter, and come back to hold your mom’s hands as you lead her to her bedroom downstairs. By the time you fix her a small meal in the kitchen, bring it to her and make her eat so she can take her pills, she’s ready to take a small nap and you know that you’ve earned some sleep now too.

The upstairs master bathroom beckons you the second you get upstairs, and even though you’ve been using the master bedroom & bathroom in this house ever since moving your mom downstairs four years ago since she had trouble getting up the stairs, it still feels odd to stand in front of the sink without a stool underneath your feet, like what you had to when you were a kid and your mother would braid your hair. You’re a grown woman now, and as you stare at your reflection, you’re not sure if you can recognize yourself anymore. But rather than dwell on if it was because of any profound reason, you figured you just needed a shower and to get some sleep before you have to wake up again in five hours. Exhaustion is evident on your face, and you swipe under your eyes to get the smudge of mascara off before it tattoos your skin forever. 

Hot water on your skin does little to help your drowsiness, but at least now you feel clean of your shift, and then you remember there are blood stains on your shoes from the stab wound patient that rolled in at 2AM last night, and you should really let them soak for a few hours while you sleep, but you just can’t bother right now. Instead, you slip into something comfortable, draw your curtains back to mimic the dead of night in your room as best as you can, grab the bottle of melatonin sitting at your nightstand and pop a few tablets, feeling feverish as you slip into your sheets. You pull the comforter up over your eyes, a decision that is less ideal than using a sleeping mask since you’ll be breathing your own carbon dioxide until you fall asleep now, but it’s okay. It’s cozy under your blanket. Just this once. And you count sheep to make you sleepy. At least until the melatonin beats you to it.

—

“You’re looking better,” Dr. Johnson says to your mother as he accesses the port on her chest, “were you able to get a good rest?”

Your mother nods and points to you. “My daughter made me take a nap.”

“That’s good,” he coos, “it’s good to get rest before chemo. Your daughter really cares about you.”

“I know,” your mother smiles up at you, “I’m so lucky.” You return her smile with one of your own.

Dr. Johnson starts to push the line of chemo into your mother’s port as she sits on the chair in the treatment lounge, and then stands up from his rolling chair before the nurse quickly moves to twiddle with the drip of the IV bag. 

“Ready for consult?” he asks you.

You grip your binder to your chest. “Yeah.”

You walk into the doctor’s office, one you’ve more than familiarized yourself with over the past couple of years, then take a seat across from Dr. Johnson’s desk as he clicks through his computer before handing you a copy of your mother’s recent lab work.

“Her tumor markers are rising,” you say as you sift through the papers.

“They are, we’ll likely switch to monitoring them every four weeks going forward. But it’s okay, not to worry,” he says, “tumor markers can raise for all sorts of reasons unrelated to cancer.”

“She had a cold last week,” you say, “maybe it’s the inflammation?”

Dr. Johnson lets out a small laugh. “I’m sorry, y/n, sometimes I forget you’re a nurse.” He hums to himself as he pens down something on the notepad in front of him. “When was your mother’s last PET/CT scan?”

“It was in February,” you say, “she’s due soon. I was going to ask if you could order one for her.”

“Yes, I will, I’ll do it right now,” he says as he types something into the computer. “You still have the standing orders for her routine lab work, correct? Do my MAs need to send you the scripts?”

“No, that’s okay, I got them already. Good for six months,” you reassure him.

“Alright, perfect.”

There’s an awkward silence that settles in the room as you shift in your seat with the binder in your lap, full of all of your mother’s medical information and emergency department discharge packets and recent lab work and imaging. You mess with the plastic cover on top of it nervously.

“It’s good she remembers you today,” Dr. Johnson comments, “I remember last week you were upset she didn’t.”

“Oh,” you say, “yeah, I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s hard.”

His eyes leave his computer screen for a second to look at you. “Are you doing alright?”

You nod slowly. You had to be alright, you had no other choice. “I’m fine, thanks,” you say, “um, actually, doc, I just wanted to share with you that I’ve been keeping track of my mom’s Alzheimer’s progression.” You open your binder in your lap, pulling out a packet of papers and placing them on his desk, turning some of them towards him but he doesn’t really spare a proper enough look. “I’ve just been noticing she’s progressively worsening a bit faster than her neurologist had projected.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding curt, and that nervousness comes back. But goddammit, you’re a nurse, you know how to deal with stubborn doctors. And it’s for your mother. There was no one else left to advocate for her except you.

“I was just wondering if we could also order a brain MRI for her?” you ask, “just to rule out anything…her brain fog has been bad, worse than usual, and I’m just really worried about metastasis, especially if it’s a glioma, I’d just want to catch it as soon as possible.”

You have sympathy for oncologists, really, you do. They must deal with paranoid family members all the time, but how could someone blame another for wanting what’s best for their loved one? You don’t think that’s an empathy that anyone should ever lose, regardless of how long you’ve been practicing medicine. 

He sighs. “There’s no indication for that right now, not with her response to treatment as well as her lab work. I’d suggest we just wait on her next PET/CT results, and we can go from there. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?”

“I know,” you say, “but her next scan isn’t for another couple weeks, plus the week it’ll take to have it read, it’ll be far out, so…if we could just order it now?”

He interlocks his fingers and places his hands in front of him on the desk, looking at you with a stern face, but he glances down at the paperwork you’ve sprawled in front of him with scribblings of all the detailed notes you’ve been taking of your mom’s responses to her Alzheimer’s treatments, with time stamps and descriptions of her mental state, and his furrowed brow relaxes slightly. He breathes in deep. “Alright. Fine, I’ll order one. I highly doubt we’ll find anything, though. But since there’s no clear clinical impression warranting a brain MRI right now,” he mentions as he directs his attention back to his computer, “I don’t think insurance will cover it for you with the diagnoses I put in.”

“That’s okay,” you quickly respond, “I’ll pay for it.” 

You collect your imaging orders from the medical assistants at the center of the oncology floor. The chemo nurse, Mai, informs you that your mother still has about two hours left before her treatment is done, and she gently suggests you go eat something while you wait. You tell her it’s okay, that you want to wait with her, but she tells you the hospital cafeteria is serving tater tots today for tater tot tuesday, and those tater tots are to die for. But before you go downstairs to the cafeteria, you find a few minutes to cry in a one stall bathroom.

—

“God damn,” you hear your coworker, Hana, dreamily sigh as she leans on the handle on your standing mobile nursing work desk, and you trail her line of sight to the tight asses of the EMT men that walk by while rolling a stretcher. “It’s like being hot is a part of their job requirement.”

“Uh-huh,” you agree mindlessly as you try to catch up on charting for the rounds you just ran on your patients around the emergency department beds.

4/20/2024 0200: patient notified of the importance of taking ibuprofen. Attempted to give pt the medication. Pt responded “suck on this, bitch”, gestured to his general groin area, then threw ibuprofen tablets at RN. pt upset and requests narcotics instead. Informed MD of pt’s behavior and request. MD will not order narcotic pain medication at this time. Will continue to monitor

“How’s your mom doing?” Hana says, interrupting your typing as she turns to face you now.

“She’s okay,” you say, continuing to punch keys as you stare at your monitor, “she has a PET/CT soon. It’s always nerve wracking when the next scan is coming up.”

“Have you given hospice any more thought?” she asks.

You stop typing and stare blankly ahead at your screen as your heart sinks a little. You have given hospice more thought, and you came to the decision about a week ago that you would go through with it. It’s becoming so increasingly difficult taking care of your mom at home, more than you can manage with all of her doctor’s appointments, radiation appointments, chemotherapy appointments, all of which happen during the late mornings or early afternoons so you can’t even properly rest on most days that you come home from night shifts. Even though you only work three shifts a week, you can’t remember the last time you got a full, uninterrupted eight hours of sleep because of how messed up your circardian rhythm has become. You were practically a walking zombie, and you hardly felt like a person anymore. You’re not going to switch to the day shift, because that would make it difficult to take your mom to her appointments, and also because you get paid extra with the night shift differential, and above all other necessities, what you really needed right now the most was money. Forget the fact you’re still in debt from nursing school, but you co-signed on the medical loans your mother had taken out for treatments, and five years of high acuity medical bills was a living nightmare. And you were living that nightmare. 

“I did,” you say, “I’ve been looking into hospices, but a lot of them are further away than I’d like.” You glance down at your keyboard. “I…I’m going to miss having my mom home. Even though it’s hard to deal with her mood swings and stuff sometimes, I just think the house would feel really empty without her.”

“Aw, my dear,” Hana sighs and rubs her hand up and down your arm soothingly, “I’m sure you’d love to have her home, but I think it’s becoming too much for you. I say this with love and care, but I can’t remember the last time I saw you genuinely smile.”

Your eyes widen slightly from her words, and you release some of the tension in your shoulders, tension you didn’t even realize you were holding onto during this conversation.

“It’s too much for just one person,” she continues, “while I understand you want to spend more time with your mom, the quality of time you’re spending with her could be so much better if you had some weight lifted off your shoulders, where you’re not worrying about her medication schedule or doctor’s appointments or blood draws and all that.”

You nod slowly and manage to give her a small smile, then place your hand over hers that was still soothing over your arm. “Thanks, Hana. I know, I appreciate you looking out for me. I…I think I’ll look more seriously into hospices. It’s just they’re really expensive, too, so I have that to consider as well.”

“Hmm,” she withdraws her hand from you and juts her bottom lip out as she looks up at fluorescent emergency department lighting. You hear a patient cough in the distance as your senses take in the ambient environment once again. “Y’know, there’s this really great new hospice in town that functions as a general facility and also helps manage a lot of chronic diseases too. They have nurses there that do blood draws and everything, and they also transport patients to their affiliated hospital for treatments, like dialysis and chemo and stuff. My friend’s mom has breast cancer and was recently accepted into that hospice,” she tells you, pulling her phone out and looking through some of her messages, “I think it’s only a fifteen minute drive from your house.”

You tilt your head at her with interest, wondering why it didn’t come up on your provider search through insurance, but regardless, it sounded too good to be true. “It’s probably really expensive. My mom’s under the state insurance right now, but I’ve explored government insurance plans too and they’re still really pricey. I just can’t afford it, not with all of her cancer treatments, and adding her under my insurance isn’t really going to be any better either.”

She groans. “I know. What’s with our healthcare plan? You’d think as a hospital, they’d choose better plans for their employees,” she sighs, and then stops to read some of the messages on her phone, “but my friend said that her husband was able to add her mom as a dependant, and his insurance covers 90% of it. I’m sure it depends on the illness, but they only pay a few thousand per month out of pocket.”

You blink at her. “Really? T-That’s insane…do you know what insurance her husband has?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a Kaiser facility.”

“Oh,” you sigh, “well, they wouldn’t accept state insurance. That’s a private HMO.”

“Shoot,” Hana looks at you apologetically, “I’m so sorry, love, I forgot about that. Sorry to get your hopes up.”

“That’s okay,” you smile at her, “thanks for trying. I’m glad it worked out for your friend, at least.”

Hana glances at her watch and realizes her break is over, so she heads back to her side of the emergency department, and you’re left standing at the nursing station with thoughts running through your head now, and still catastrophically behind on charting.

Hmm.

Kaiser.

You swear someone mentioned that to you recently.

Or maybe you were just remembering another one of those ads you see on television at night. No, no, you’re pretty sure it came up in conversation with someone, but you can’t remember when or why or what or where or who. Hmmmmm. Kaiser, Kaiser, Kaiser. 

Nope. Nothing.

Oh well, maybe it’ll hit you later.

—

It hits you in the form of an intrusive memory when you wake up on a Thursday afternoon in a cold sweat after having a hallucinogenic melatonin dream where you were getting chased by a giant rabbit (don’t ask). 

Kaiser.

Gojo said he has Kaiser insurance. 

And the idea that comes into your head after that is so ridiculous, so absurd, so positively bonkers that you have to slap the sleepiness off your face for a second to make sure you’re still not in some dream state of living, and the harsh sting on your cheek proves that you’re not. And the idea still persists. And now you’re swinging your legs over the edge of your bed, and grabbing your laptop, and opening it, and inputting your pin, and then spending a good three hours researching if this little idea of yours actually has any good level of merit to it, if it could even succeed, if it was even legal? You even find yourself on the phone with insurance representatives, and you stare at the tens of thousands of dollars of debt on your Excel spreadsheet where you keep track of your finances, and you feel the exhaustion in your bones, and you also remember how fucking annoying Gojo is. And yet still, the idea persists. 

And when the pieces of the plan start to unfortunately fall into place, you say, fuck it. What was worse than potentially getting into six figures of debt? It’ll be fine.

But you can only hope he says yes.

.

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[reading commercial break]

hello!! this is ellie, the author. so sorry to interrupt, there is still a bit left for this chapter, but i just wanted to jump in here real quick to explain for some of my readers that may not be american so they may understand reader’s desperation to financially cover the costs of her mother’s healthcare bills. this story is set in suburban america lol, where the healthcare system is so messed up honestly, and this excerpt from the book the body by bill bryson kinda explains:

“Where America really differs from other countries is in the colossal costs of its health care. An angiogram, a survey by The New York Times found, costs an average of $914 in the United States, but only $35 in Canada. Insulin costs about six times as much in America as it does in Europe. The average hip replacement costs $40,364 in America, almost six times the cost in Spain, while an MRI scan in the United States is, at $1,121, four times more than in the Netherlands. The entire system is notoriously unwieldy and cost-heavy.” p360; “...America spends more on health care than any other nation–two and a half times more per person than the average for all other developed nations of the world. One-fifth of all the money Americans earn–$10,209 a year for every citizen, $3.2 trillion altogether–is spent on health care.” p359

unfortunately, a lot of how much you end up spending at the end of the day, depends significantly on the health insurance that you have. it could make the difference of spending a few hundreds to a few thousands to a few tens of thousands and beyond, just based on the insurance plan, even if the illnesses/treatments are exactly the same.

but yeah, just wanted to provide that context lol!! so you must understand reader’s desperation to save a buck!!! 

ok back to regularly scheduled broadcasting!! 🧚‍♀️💕✨

[end of reading commercial break]

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—

You’re sitting at a table outside your favorite cafe in town, leg bouncing up and down underneath the surface impatiently and nervously, and you glance at the time on your phone for the fifth time within the past five minutes because you’re unable to alleviate any of the anxiety you’re experiencing right now. You hear the jingling of the cafe door behind you and then you’re a little startled when someone emerges in your periphery by your side.

You look up and see Gojo standing next to you, and you see he already went inside and grabbed a coffee to-go for himself.

“Hey,” he greets you.

“Hi,” you say with a small wave.

He takes a seat across from you. “What did you want to talk about?” he asks while he settles in and smooths down the fabric of his suit jacket. He’s not wearing a tie, and has a couple of the top buttons of his shirt undone to reveal some of the skin at his collarbone. Probably to seduce the divorced single moms, you think. “And if you called me here to try and convince me for the millionth time to pitch in for that fence you built six months ago, I’m just gonna say no again. I didn’t even want that fence built in the first place. It fucked up the roots on my avocado tree.”

“It’s a joint fence. Neighbors usually pitch in for that kind of stuff, asshole. At least normal neighbors do. You know I talked shit about you to everyone in the neighborhood when you refused to pay and all of them agree that you’re being a stuck-up prick about it?”

“You know that I also talked shit about you to everyone in the neighborhood and they said the same exact thing about you?”

“Wha–” you gasp, blinking a few times from the betrayal, then mutter “...those two-faced bitches” under your breath.

“So,” he pulls his sleeve back to glance at his watch, “what did you want? I’ve only got thirty minutes to talk before I need to head to an open house.” He brings his cup of coffee to his lips.

“Oh. Right. Just a favor,” you say, “I was wondering if you could marry me.”

He almost spits out his coffee.

“E-Excuse me?” he croaks out, exasperated, and he’s coughing a little bit as he hits his chest with a fist to alleviate the irritation in his throat from some hot coffee that went down the wrong pipe.

“I mean, if it’s not an issue, I’d really appreciate it if you could marry me,” you attempt to clarify, but you realize you probably should’ve thought a little more about how you were going to ask him this, and now you’re too deep to backtrack, so you just hope you’ll find the conversation along the way.

He’s looking at you like you’ve got six heads, brow furrowed and mouth hanging open slightly with that what the fuck? face you see him wear sometimes. But then he sits up a bit straighter, expression morphing into a curious one as he studies your face, head tilting a little in his scrutinization. Then, his face relaxes entirely. He has this knowing look as he nods up and down slowly, like he just figured something out, and then he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in some type of faux frustration. And you don’t understand why you’re already seethingly angry about what he’s going to say next.

“Oh god,” he sighs, “I knew this day would come.”

“Huh?” you squeak out.

“Listen,” he says as he crosses his arms, but one of his hands comes out from where it was tucked in his elbow to waive around in the air as he articulates his words, “I know that I’m very charming, and handsome, and chivalrous, one might say the modern knight in shining armor–”

“Satoru.”

“–and yes, I’ve seen the way you look at me,” he dramatically sighs, “when I’m taking the groceries up the driveway…when I’m out mowing the lawn…when I stretch on the sidewalk before I go for a run. I feel your eyes on me like a hawk. Quite frankly, you look at me like I’m a piece of meat, and I feel very violated by it sometimes–”

“What the fuck are you talking about???”

“But I get it. Really, I do. There’s no need to be embarrassed about it–”

“I’m not embar–”

“It was really only a matter of time before you would do this. So overcome by your feelings for me that you just had to go against the grain of centuries of matrimonial standards and swallow your gigantic pride to propose to me.” 

“Oh my god, what the fuck are you saying–”

“But,” he says, collecting himself now, and taking in a deep breath, “my answer is no. I mean, I shouldn’t have to explain why. But I will. First of all, where the hell is my ring? Secondly, why aren’t you on one knee in front of me right now? Also, in a cafe? Really? I thought you would’ve known I’d have liked something a little bit more romantic than this. Y’know, private, but also where my family’s somewhere around the corner. Maybe by the beach–”

“Can you stop talkin–”

“–while the sun is setting, and I’m wearing a nice dress, and there’s bubbles in the air and rose petals on the sand, and you tell me how enamored you’ve always been of me, and how you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with me,” he indulgently sighs, “I mean, it’s every guy’s dream. But nooooo, of course you’ve got no taste or sense for romance in any capac–”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, FORGET THIS,” you stand up out of your chair, fast enough to where it almost falls backwards, and you grab your purse to sling over your shoulder, “I cannot believe I actually thought this plan would ever fucking work.” You’re about to walk away from the table, because you’re realigned with the wisdom of exactly why you can’t stand this man, when his hand reaches out quickly to grasp onto your wrist, to keep you still, and you jump a little from the contact. You look down, his hand unrelenting in its grip as his knuckles flex slightly, and you’re not sure if he’s ever touched you from how foreign the sensation feels.

“Wait,” he says, and when you look at him, his eyes are a little wide like a puppy, “you’re being serious?”

You yank your wrist out of his grip, but the warmth of his touch still lingers, and you wrap your own hand around it to distract yourself from it. “Why would I just ask you to marry me out of nowhere if I wasn’t being serious?”

He gives you a look like the answer to your question is obvious. “Uh, to fuck with me?”

You’re still holding onto your wrist, protectively pressing it against your chest with your back turned away from him slightly, and you look up at the sky for a brief second. Hm, perhaps you could have brought the favor up a bit better, and you realize it might’ve sounded insane on his end, and you’re also still thinking about the tens of thousands of dollars you could save if he said yes, and so you hesitantly open your body language up to him again.

“Just sit,” he sighs.

You take a seat across from him again, hands finding the warm coffee cup in front of you and you purse your lips together before tucking your bottom lip under your front teeth. You take a deep breath before speaking again. “I…I’m being serious. I was wondering if you could marry me as a favor, and not because I think you’re some type of irresistible man candy, god, where do you get your gigantic ego from?”

“I–”

“Rhetorical question, shut it.”

He blinks at you. “What favor are you asking for that’ll be satisfied by me marrying you?”

You twiddle with your thumbs. “I want to put my mom in hospice,” you say, eyes flickering down slightly because you’re worried you’re about to tear up from the words, but when you realize you’ve got enough conviction not to, you look back up at him, and his eyes on you are a little too observant, “most of the hospices in town are further away than I’d like, and really expensive, but I heard there was a Kaiser one nearby…and that a lot of the costs are covered by insurance. So, if you married me, I could send my mom there. And also, under your insurance, the care network would be better, so I could get her a new oncologist and neurologist, and I’d know she’s being taken care of. And…” you clear your throat, “well, it’ll be a lot less expensive, so I can start to catch up on…well, whatever, you get the picture.”

His eyes narrow at you in thought, and he glances at your hands on the table that are nervously fidgeting, and then his eyes meet yours again. “I’m not sure if you can add a…spouse’s parent to a healthcare plan?”

“You can,” you say, “I already called to ask.”

“Oh.”

“Mhm.”

Gojo hums to himself, laying his palms flat on his thighs and rubbing them back and forth on the taut fabric a few times as he thinks with his gaze set off somewhere in the distance. It seems like he’s running through some algorithm of thoughts in his head, and then he slowly nods to himself when he’s made a decision.

“Sure, I’ll do it,” he says.

“Y-You will?” you ask him. You’re uneasy at how easy it was to convince.

“Yeah. I like your mom. She’s a sweet lady, and I want to see her get better.”

His words touch you. And not from the distance of a ten foot pole like you’d usually allow, but more intimate somehow. And you get the feeling you should thank him, but you’re still pissed off from when he almost ran you over on your own driveway earlier this week. 

“Really?” you make sure, almost like you’re hoping he’ll change his mind because now you’re suspicious as to why he agreed so quickly. And you realize he’s already making you paranoid.

“Yeah. I’m saying yes to your proposal, y/n,” he says, “I mean, a marriage is just a legal agreement. Not a big deal. I’d want a prenup though, for obvious reasons. In case you’re a gold digger.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re too cheap to even pitch in for a fucking fence. You think I’d believe you’ve got any gold to dig?”

He sighs. “I said in case.”

“Well, anyways, we can work out logistics and paperwork or whatever later,” you say, and you extend your hand out for him to shake it.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Um. You’re going to make me shake your hand over this?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, “it’s the diplomatic thing to do.”

“Yes,” he says, “for a diplomatic agreement.”

“Precisely,” you say. “That’s exactly what this is.”

He hesitantly brings his hand up to shake yours, but you quickly withdraw yours at the last second. “Nevermind. I don’t want to touch you.”

“Okay,” he easily accepts, “not how I expected to celebrate getting engaged, but whatever. By the way, when’s the wedding? Are we doing, like, a shotgun destination type vibe? Or something a bit more grand?”

“Just be at the courthouse at noon on Sunday.”

“What?! This weekend? That’s too soon,” he panics, “I need time to pick out a dress, and I need to figure out who my bridesmaids are going to be, and–”

“Satoru. Seriously. Just–...just shut the fuck up. Before the headache that you’ve already given me gets worse.”

You two sit in silence for a moment, him just mindlessly staring at a butterfly that landed on the plant at the center of the table, and you just stare off into the void past him while contemplating every life decision you’ve ever made. But that’s how it always was between you two. As much as you hated to admit it, you were jealous of him in a lot of ways. In every way that you were fucked up, he was nonchalant without a care in the world. You wish you knew what that sort of peace felt like, and you wondered if he could show you. Maybe someday when he doesn’t piss you off.

“So,” he interrupts your thoughts, “are you gonna take my last name?”

“Fuck no, I’d rather die.”

“Alright, jeez, I was just asking.”

.

.

.

.

.

[end of chapter 1, he said yes! congrats!]

song of the chapter: gives you hell by the all-american rejects

a/n. yayy!!! he said yes!! omg congrats on your engagement!! haha this was a lot of fun to writeee :'') i've got sm fun ideas for this fic. this chap was supposed to be longer, there's still some groundwork to lay w the side quests, but will def cover more of that in the next chapter!!! tysm to everyone that wanted to be on taglist omg i hope that you enjoyed <3 love u guys. also my bad if some of the stuff doesn't make sense i'm tryna be less perfectionist when editing so that i dont go insane 😍

➸ take me to chapter two!

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hope yalls fries never get soggy ever 💕

[trainer-sean]

DPxDC Prompt: Pokémon Au

@stealingyourbones

@im-totally-not-an-alien-2

@new-revenant

pokemon au Dp x Dc

most of the ghost stuff is different, because its now the Fenton's studying The Ghost typing, which, they are now morally correct. due to studying it and have machines processing the Ghost Type Infinity energy, they've had alot of ghost types born from their machines, and alot collect around their home. Danny has developed a Ghost type alignment in his Aura(aura having wave lengths with infinity energy, which affects some traits a person has, like water type alignment are good at swimming and holding their breath) due to his parents studys letting the G.T. infinity energy radiating through the house influencing his aura development while it was developing.

the Fenton are the local professors in town, but mostly pass out Ghost, Dark, Fairy, and Psychic types due to their studys being connected to them.

When they find Danny has a Ghost Type Alignment, with secondary Ice and Psychic, they give him a Dreept they had been previously studying for his starter pokemon.

Jazz has previously been on a journey, with a Teddiursa, she caught psychic types and many pokemon good for Emotional support and therapy due to her developing her like of Psychology during her journey, she made it to 4 gym badges before deciding to head home for studying, splitting up with her traveling companion, Harleen Quinzel, a friend who shared similar likes. However, she would later be kidnapped and tortured by Joker, eventually becoming Harley Quinn, her pokemon have been confiscated, and given to Jazz, to keep them safe.

DC is still a heavy part here.

due to pokemon and pokemon league being a thing, Civilians will help apprehend criminals, due to pokemon training originally being a Crime deterrent. this has also turned away multiple invasions. also, Apocalypse(can't remember jow to spell that name) was destroyed long ago by Arceus, Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina, so no Darkseid. isn't it great when God's actually do their jobs.

starters: Danny with Dreepy, Sam with Bounsweet, Tucker with Togedimaru, and Jazz with Teddiursa.

when Danny goes on his journey at 14, he, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz, head out to travel Unova. Jazz here to mentor and chaperone. they ran into multiple incidents involving poachers and evil teams, and assisted Heroes, like many trainers. The League actually has a meeting every few weeks to talk about some of the notable trainers that helped them, and even watch the League Tournaments as team bonding. Batman is more approachable here, and he and the batfam use suits that have tech that allow them to use attacks, primarily based on the closest pokemon to their animals. regular animals still exist.

Diana actually uses Burst(from the manga, Pokemon ReBurst), which fuses a human and pokemon. She typically does it with a Braviary, but her people also can call upon Ho-oh or Lugia to preform Burst in times of need. Shes still a demi-goddess, this is mostly for situations where she needs a change of tactics or a boost in strength.

the DP team find a old Temple, one that was recently cleaned out and collapsed, when some ghost types were beckoning for help, after clearing the way they found a strange woman who'd look like she was trapped for weeks, she looked half feline pokemon, much like Killer Krok in Gotham.

Barbara Ann Minerva had been obsessed with archeology from a young age, sense she learned of all the pokemon that were artificially made by ancient civilizations and that Fossils could be revived. But while she was interning for a Professor on a exploration if a temple, she and the Professor were backstabbed, the professor killed and she shot through the back, thankfully not through the spine. They had blew up the pathway, Barbara was stuck, her mentor was dead, and she was likely to starve. she returned her pokemon so they wouldn't have to worry of starving, and started crying. her crying angered something. The Temple she was in was the resting place of the Legendary pokemon Cheeralah (chi-rah-lah), an Electric Fighting type, a humanoid and feminine cheetah pokemon, with bandages wrapped around her legs, arms, and chest, and Bronze markings along her body. Some human was whining in her Temple, she was angry, so she cursed Barbara, turning her into what was basically a Human Cheeralah hybrid.

when the Dp Team made it to Barbara, Cheeralah was angry enough that she showed up, along with two Zeraora. A Raid Battle occurred, with much struggle, from all the pokemon one Danny's, Sams, tuckers, Jazzs, Barbara, and the Professors teams, all three legends were caught. and then Danny accidently caught Barbara.

Gotham, the spirit, became a legendary pokemon along time ago, and still has no clue how to assist with everything, she became some variant of Lunala, but a Dark/Ghost type, and she just can't seem to exit the spiritual plan, which is probably the doing of some wizard or something to prevent city spirits that became pokemon from running around causing havoc. She eventually breaks out when Jason was kidnapped. She looks like a darker Lunala with a more pointed tail, she has a form change that makes her look like dawn wing necrozma, but not entirely, it does look like necrozma parts, maybe even make it an artificial form change made by Bruce, similar to the enhancement equipment Jessie and James sometimes use on their pokemon, maybe even a special batmobile that attaches power ranger style with a ride pokemon saddle part for Bruce. Called: Gothmala.

Something Similar to Metropolis, who became a Variant of Solagaleo, a Steel/Fairy type, who just watches from the sidelines as the superfamily protects his city, but his appreciation can be felt by the super family due to their lack of resistance to supernatural power. Maybe make its presence capable of breaking down green kryptonite and its radiation. Maybe Clark, taking a note out of Bruce's book, makes a armor mode for it using some Kryptonian tech. Called: Metgaleo.

Maybe make some of the other city spirits similar to regular pokemon, like like paradox pokemon, like star city(thats green arrows place right?) Is a Decidueye, but it has a pair of crossbow like structures floating beside it instead of being able to make a bow string, due to not being a grass type. Ghost/fighting type.

And in Amity Park, the Fenton's research has caused Amity Park's city spirit to develope into a pokemon, a variant of Hoopa, due to the form change and Desiree's mischief with wishes. A black and green Unbound form. Ghost/Fairy type.

The Fenton's also accidently made a Variant of Type:Null from digital blue prints and such of the usual species, combined with research files on Giratina and the distortion world, and went through the development program used to process and make Porygon, and went through the Transfer machine. Its built like a mildly serpentine Type:null, no hind legs, the head piece being more shaped like a Giratina head piece. Normal/Ghost type, with the primary type being changeable with the disks. Built like a Lindwyrm. The first one is studied by the Fentons and Aether to make sure its Healthy and stable, Danny is even brought over to help calm it due to his compatibility to Ghost types. Name, Type:Ghoul, evolved/unsealed form called Spectvally.

Cheeralah, The War Pokemon. a Legendary Electric and Fighting type. Cheeralah were once worshipped as Gods of protection and purity, but worshipped members began to enjoy fighting and conflict while protecting the innocent. Zeraora are believed to be lesser incarnations born from Cheeralah lust for battle being so great that they forcefully removed it and it became a pokemon.

(-Legendary pokemon(God or mythical types) can turn into human form.

-pokephilia might be a partially accepted thing here? Regular Supernatural species still exist like in regular DC, so maybe. So possible human pokemon hybrids running around, so laws about catching those types of people are probably a thing.

-possible Ultra-space shenanigans with alternate timelines, different dimensions, Pocket Dimensions, separate universes, etc. Aka Crossovers with different franchises.)