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iydiamartinx · 2 months ago
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THIS MEANS WAR I
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Dick Grayson x Reader x Jason Todd
divider by: @cafekitsune & @thecutestgrotto word count: 3.6k synopsis: Gotham’s youngest neuroscience lecturer never planned to get tangled up with two of its most eligible bachelors. Both are determined to win her over—without revealing they know each other… or that they’re vigilantes. But when the Joker takes an interest in her, things get a whole lot more complicated. a/n: This story is inspired by the 2012 movie This Means War. I went back and forth on whether to write it with a named OC or in reader format—and ultimately decided to try something new and go with reader-insert. I usually write in third person with original characters, so this is a bit of a different style for me. As for who the reader ends up with… I haven’t made a final decision yet—maybe one of them, maybe both. Feel free to let me know who you’re rooting for! Hope you enjoy the chaos! warnings: None so far except for the fact that I don't know anything about neuroscience only what my research brings up, so I'm praying the shit I write makes sense
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GOTHAM UNIVERSITY 
The lecture hall smelled like old paper and burnt coffee. You stood at the front, spine straight despite the fatigue threading through your muscles. Behind you, the whiteboard was half-covered in scrawls of chemical structures and dopamine pathways, neatly drawn and precisely labeled. It was the kind of lecture that left half the room wide-eyed with curiosity… and the other half silently praying for mercy.
With a quiet click, you capped your marker and continued. “Neurotransmitter binding is not a one-size-fits-all process,” you said, voice steady as your gaze swept across rows of glazed eyes and frantic scribbles. “It’s dynamic. It’s reactive. It’s shaped by genetics, trauma, medication—even what you ate for breakfast.”
A hand shot up in the second row.
“So… like, can serotonin make you hallucinate?”
You blinked. “No. And if it does, someone’s given you something else—and you should go to the ER. Immediately.”
A ripple of laughter. A few groans.
Another hand rose—this one from a sharp-eyed girl near the back. “In Joker toxin exposure cases, have you ever seen synthetic mimicry of dopamine flood patterns?”
Now that was a question worth respecting.
You’d specialized in Joker toxin during your postgraduate years, had seen firsthand the neurological carnage it left behind. The clown was a madman no doubt—but a dangerously brilliant madman.
Your mouth tugged into a faint smirk. “Yes. And no. But that’s a topic for next week.”
The clock ticked toward the hour. You fielded three more questions—one insightful, two exhausting—before dismissing the class. 
Backpacks zipped. Conversations stirred. As the last student filed out, you finally exhaled. Slowly. The silence was a relief.
Rolling your shoulders, you gathered your coat and bag, the weariness catching up to you in waves as you made your way toward the door—hungry, tired, and vaguely craving something that didn’t taste like caffeine or sugary energy drinks.
Gotham’s streets buzzed with their usual chaos—honking cabs, barking vendors, motorcycles weaving between traffic like they were flirting with death. You walked with familiar ease, the city noise fading beneath the throb behind your eyes and the pressure at the back of your skull.
Your hand drifted up to your bun. It had been tightly wound since six in the morning, and now it felt like a migraine on a countdown. Mercifully, you didn’t have to be in the lab today—no microscopes, no sterile gloves, no post-doc breathing down your neck. Just freedom. Glorious, unwashed, unbothered freedom.
So you didn’t hesitate. One by one, you tugged the pins from your hair, each metallic clink falling into your coat pocket like a tiny rebellion. The strands spilled down, wild and full of indents, but you didn’t care. You tipped your head back, rubbed at your aching scalp with slow, tender fingers, and sighed like you’d been holding your breath all day.
You looked like hell. You felt like hell. But you were done. No lectures. No lab reports. Your appearance be damned you just wanted to spend the rest of the day in comfort. 
Your boots clicked along the sidewalk as you headed toward Café Nero, already imagining the warmth of a latte in your hands—despite your earlier claim about cutting back on caffeine. A lie, obviously. Caffeine was practically your lifeblood— and something carby in your mouth.
But the universe had other plans.
You turned the corner—and nearly collided headfirst with a ghost.
Jake.
Three years of your life bundled into one name, one face. One half-curved smile that looked exactly like it used to and somehow worse now that it was being directed at someone else.
Three years of your life compressed into one name. One face. One irritatingly familiar smirk. His arm was around a tall blonde, her smile radiant and far too trusting. He wore the same smug charm he always had as he said something that had her giggling. 
He noticed you first.
“Hey!” he said, voice way too bright. “Y/N. Wow. You look…” his eyes flicked over your rumpled sweater, your wild hair, “…great. Still at the university? Tinkering away in your little lab?”
You straightened instinctively, spine snapping to attention like your body was trying to make up for the indignity of the moment. Of all the days to run into him.
“I am,” you replied, polite but clipped.
Three years together, and he still couldn’t grasp the importance of your work—or the lives it affected. Your research had been groundbreaking, and he’d always referred to it like you were tinkering with science fair projects.
The blonde leaned into his side with a warm smile. “You didn’t tell me your ex was brilliant and pretty.”
You wanted to hate her. Truly, you did. But unfortunately… she actually seemed sweet.
He laughed. “I forget sometimes.” Then turned back to you with that same infuriatingly casual smirk. “Oh—uh, Y/N, this is my fiancée, Hannah.”
The word hit like a slap.
Fiancée.
Only a year ago, you’d walked in on him and his yoga instructor, limbs tangled and guilt nowhere in sight. He’d thrown away three years with you like it was nothing—and now, not even twelve months later, he’d found someone new and locked her down with a ring so big it probably needed its own insurance policy.
You managed a smile. A real one, for her sake. Sort of. “It’s nice to meet you.” Your eyes dropped to the large, glittering ring on her hand.
“Wow,” you said with a tight smile. “That’s… that’s a big rock.” You let out an awkward laugh, trying muster the slightest bit of enthusiasm you definitely weren’t feeling on the inside. “You’re engaged. To be married.”
Jake grinned. “Yeah. Things just… clicked. It was like fate.” Then he reached out and stroked her cheek with the kind of performative tenderness that made your stomach churn. 
God. How had you ever loved this man?
“Isn’t that right, baby?” he murmured.
Someone gag you with a spoon.
You stood there, frozen in place, as Jake pulled Hannah in for a kiss—deep as if he was trying to fit his entire tongue down her throat. Screw you, you thought. Screw you for rubbing her in my face.
You cleared your throat, the sound awkward and a little too loud. “Well, I should get going,” you began—except your mouth didn’t stop there.
Your brain screamed abort, but your tongue had other plans.
“I actually have to go meet my guy. Yeah, he’s a neuroscientist too. We, uh… met at work.” You nodded like that somehow made it more convincing. “Anyway…”
You cleared your throat again, silently begging yourself to shut up.
“It was… great seeing you. And congrats. On the ring. The upcoming wedding. Your whole… life. All of it.” You winced inwardly. “Well… Peace.”
And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, you topped it off by flashing a peace sign like some glitching robot before turning and briskly walking away.
The second you were out of sight, your smile collapsed. You pressed your lips together, debating whether to scream into the sky or crawl into the nearest sewer.
“Someone kill me right now,” you muttered under your breath.
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CAFÉ NERO
You finally made it to the café, and with it, your mortification began to loosen its grip. The familiar scent of roasted beans and fresh pastries wrapped around you like a warm blanket, softening the sting of everything that had come before.
Inside, it was calm—the gentle hiss of the espresso machine, the clink of ceramic, the low murmur of scattered conversations. A peaceful hum that felt like the complete opposite of Jake and his nauseating tongue display.
You slipped into your usual seat at the counter, letting your bag slump to the floor, and leaned against the worn wood like it might hold you up a little longer.
“Ah! Doctora!” Juan greeted you with a bright smile from behind the bar.
He was a sweet kid—maybe nineteen—who’d moved to Gotham from Mexico about six months ago. His English was improving steadily, though every now and then he’d still stumble over a few words. You’d quietly helped where you could. While he knew your name, he aways insisted on calling you Doctora like it was your superhero title. 
You snorted at the thought. You, a superhero? You couldn’t even save yourself from an awkward conversation with your ex.
“The usual?” he asked, already reaching for your cup.
“Si, please,” you nodded.
He glanced up with a curious smile. “Long day?”
You let out a soft groan, dropping your face into your hands. “You have no idea.”
The door chimed behind you, but you didn’t bother looking up. Not until you felt someone hovering a little too close to the seat beside you. 
You prayed your luck wasn’t that shitty.
But of course, it was.
Jake’s familiar chuckle slid into your ears like nails on glass. You closed your eyes for half a second, steeling yourself, before slowly peeling your face from your hands.
“This is too funny,” he said with a grin. “What a coincidence.”
“Right! Absolutely hilarious,” you replied, forcing a smile that you hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt as you saw Jake and Hannah standing there.
“I’m assuming this is your boyfriend’s seat?” Jake asked, eyes glinting with amusement.
“Oh, ye—”
Before you could finish, Juan slid your drink across the counter, cheerful as ever.
“No, Doctora,” he said, accent warm, words slightly clipped at the edges. “Order for one. Always order for one. Seat is free.”
You nearly choked on air.
Hannah giggled while Jake said nothing. Just raised his eyebrows slightly, in that smug little way he used to do when he thought he’d won something.
God, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.
You smiled tightly. “It is. I’m meeting him back at work. Just stopped in quick. Juan, I thought I said I needed this to-go?”
Juan frowned, brows pinching together. “Mmm… no, I don’ think so. You say you finish work. You always sit here, like always.”
“Not this time,” you said—too sharp, too fast.
Juan’s face fell a little. Guilt bloomed in your chest like a bruise, he didn’t deserve that. It was your own damn fault for digging the hole in you were now.
You sighed, softer this time. “Lo siento, Juan. Can you make it to-go, please?”
He nodded, already reaching for the paper cup and bag.
You turned back to Jake with a forced laugh. “Seat’s all yours.”
The second Juan handed you the new cup and pastry bag, you thanked him quietly, paid, and practically sprinted for the door—mortified, humiliated, and more than ready to go home and bury yourself under ten layers of shame.
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MILO & ANTHONY’S APARTMENT
“Ugh! I wanted to die right then and there,” you groaned, collapsing dramatically onto Milo and Anthony’s couch, a glass of wine already halfway gone. Their apartment was across from yours, and you’d made a beeline for it the second you got home, desperate to drink your embarrassment into submission. “I fucking peaced them.”
Anthony winced. “Yeah, that’s… pretty bad.”
“That’s because you need to go out more,” Milo said, waving his wine glass like a pointer. “Meet someone. Rub him all over Jake’s face like a human flex—same way he’s doing with that girl, Hayley.”
“Hannah,” you corrected automatically. “And she seemed sweet.”
“She could be as sweet as cotton candy dipped in honey and I still wouldn’t give a shit,” Milo snapped. “I give a shit about you. And you cannot keep letting that asshole rent space in your head.”
You opened your mouth, but Milo steamrolled right over you.
“Fine if you’re not ready for anything serious, but girl—you need to go out and get some good dick. That pussy is drier than the Sahara.”
You choked on your wine. “Hey! I get some!”
Milo deadpanned you. “Your vibrator doesn’t count. Honestly, it should start charging you. Thing looks like it’s about to file for workers’ comp.”
You blinked. “Have you been going through my drawers again?!”
He shrugged without shame. “I was looking for your face cream.”
“And you thought I keep that in my underwear drawer?” 
“Look, the point is,” he said, sitting forward, “you need to go out. Date. Even just a casual thing. I hate seeing you mope over that troll.”
“I’m not moping,” you muttered.
Anthony gave you a soft smile—too kind for this earth. “We’re just worried about you. And hey, for the record, we’re glad you moved here. You’re part of our chaos now.”
You exhaled, guilt and warmth stirring in your chest. “I know. It’s just… I can’t believe I was that blind. I nearly gave up everything for him. I even moved back to this shit-hole of a city—where clowns and penguins blow up buildings and guys in capes fight crime in full spandex.”
“Well, at least Gotham has a certain… charm,” Anthony offered.
“I mean, it’s great if your idea of charm is daily arson,” you deadpanned.
“We are happy you’re here,” Milo agreed, his voice softer for once. “But you’ve gotta stop beating yourself up. Even I thought he might’ve been your person—but he wasn’t. That’s on him. His loss, not yours. You’ve gotta move forward, babe.”
“I am dating,” you said weakly.
“No, you’re talking to people. You don’t even give them a real shot.” He raised his brows. “You can’t test chemistry without mixing the liquids.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s more complex than just ‘mixing liquids,’ Milo. There’s neural signaling, oxytocin regulation, attachment frameworks, behavioral conditioning… Timing alone can throw everything off. You can’t just drop two people into a room and expect chemistry. That’s not chemistry—it’s chaos.”
“Why not?” Milo shrugged. “People do it all the time. You’re overthinking it—as usual. But if it helps, just treat it like another one of your experiments.”
“It’s not that simple,” you argued. “My experiments have structure. Charts. Data. Equations. Control groups.”
“Exactly!” Milo clapped his hands. “Which is why you should try online dating. They have charts and shit.”
You let out a snort. “Please. In this city? Knowing my luck, I’d end up matched with a serial killer. Or worse—the Joker.”
Anthony tilted his head thoughtfully. “Does the Joker even online date?”
Milo groaned. “You’re both insane. There are plenty of semi-normal people on those apps. It’s how me and Anthony met.”
You gave him a flat look. “Exactly.”
You gave him a long, pointed look. “Point proven.”
“No.” Milo leaned in. “The point is you need to get back out there. Whether it’s for a wham-bam-thank-you-man kind of night, or you end up calling me crying because you just met the father of your future babies—I don’t care. You just can’t keep living in Jake’s memory. Not everyone is like him.”
You groaned, tipping back the rest of your wine in one go. “I know that.”
He raised an eyebrow, giving you a look.
“I do!” you insisted. “Look, can we table this for now? I just want to drown my feelings and make future-me regret the hangover I’m definitely earning tonight.”
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GOTHAM ROOFTOPS
Boots hit the edge of a rooftop with a soft scrape of gravel. Jason Todd scanned the streets below, hands resting at his sides, jacket collar tugged up against the bite of the early spring cold. He moved with restless energy—agitated, impatient, ready for something to go wrong.
“This is a bust,” he muttered into the comms. “Three blocks, no action. Not even a wannabe thug with a pocket knife and poor life choices. I’m starting to think Gotham forgot how to be Gotham.”
There was a beat of silence before Dick’s voice came through, dry and amused.
“Or maybe you’re just scaring the criminals too much, Hood. Ever consider early retirement?”
Jason rolled his eyes behind the mask. “Only if you go first, Nightwing. I thought Blüdhaven was where all the action was—what’re you doing slumming it with us Gotham bottom-feeders?”
“It is,” Dick replied. “But every now and then I like to slum it with my baby brother. Make sure you’re not burning down half the city in my absence.”
Jason snorted. “You’re only older by what, five years and a moral superiority complex?”
Before Dick could answer, Barbara’s voice cut in over the channel, sharp and clear.
“Seems like you’re about to get your wish, Jason. I’ve got eyes on suspicious movement down at the docks—east side, Warehouse Eleven.” Barbara drawled through the comms. 
Jason was already moving, boots hitting gravel as he took off across the rooftop. “Now we’re talking.”
Dick followed a step behind, vaulting over a low pipe with practiced ease. “Arms deal?”
“Most likely,” Barbara confirmed. “Thermal scans show at least four bodies. No confirmed ID yet, but one of them matches a known associate of Black Mask.  “Be smart. And try not to level the building, Jason.”
“No promises,” he said, grin audible.
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WAREHOUSE ELEVEN, EAST DOCKS
The docks were dead quiet when they arrived—too quiet. The kind of stillness that always meant something was waiting to go wrong. The air smelled like oil and sea rot, and the only sounds were the soft lapping of water and the occasional creak of aging chains swaying in the wind.
Jason crouched at the edge of a container stack, pistols holstered at his thighs, his gaze locked on the warehouse below. His breath clouded in the cool air.
“East lot’s clear,” he murmured into the comms. “Nothing but rats and roaches.”
Dick landed beside him in a soundless roll. “So, your usual crowd.”
Jason didn’t glance over. “That’s twice tonight. Keep it up and I’ll tell everyone you cried during that Pixar movie.”
“I was twelve. And it was Up, you heartless bastard.”
“Still counts.”
They moved in silence, slipping through a broken window high on the warehouse wall. Their boots hit the rafters without a whisper. Below them, four men circled a battered folding table strewn with crates, unmarked cases, and haphazard stacks of cash. A single overhead bulb flickered overhead, casting shifting shadows across the concrete floor.
Jason zoomed in with his HUD. “I know that one—left side. Carlo Mancini. Low-tier runner for Sionis. Looks like he’s about to piss himself.”
“Might mean he knows something,” Dick murmured.
They listened.
“I’m tellin’ you,” Mancini hissed, voice tight and shaky. “It’s gonna be big. Joker-level big.”
One of the others scoffed. “The hell you talkin’ about? Joker’s been off the grid for months.”
“Yeah, and now he’s back. Lookin’ for someone—some guy who used to run with him, then bailed. Word is, he took something. Something important.”
Jason’s fingers curled slowly around the grip of his pistol.
“It’s not his usual stuff either,” Mancini went on, voice dropping to a whisper. “Heard it’s from Scarecrow too. Some freak chemical—don’t kill you right away. Makes you laugh yourself insane. Till your heart gives out.”
A beat of silence.
“No cure for it, either.”
Jason exhaled. “Shit.”
Beside him, Dick’s jaw flexed. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
Jason gave a tight nod. “If the Joker and Scarecrow teamed up and made something new—and someone stole it…”
Dick’s voice was grim. “Then Gotham just became a countdown clock. And we’re already late.”
Without another word, they moved.
Jason dropped from the rafters like a shadow cutting through fog, landing hard enough to make one of the thugs flinch. Dick followed a breath behind, graceful and quiet. By the time the first man reached for his weapon, Jason had already disarmed him with a sharp twist of his wrist and sent him sprawling with a solid elbow to the jaw.
Dick swept the legs out from under another, zip-tying his wrists with practiced ease. The other two barely had time to shout before they were taken down—one with a stun baton to the ribs, the other with a boot to the sternum.
Mancini tried to run.
Jason caught him by the collar, slammed him against a crate with just enough force to knock the air from his lungs. “Going somewhere?”
The runner gasped, eyes wide with panic. “I didn’t—look, I don’t know anything!”
“You know enough to be scared,” Jason growled, pressing his forearm into the man’s throat. “So start talking.”
“Okay—okay!” Mancini wheezed, both hands raised in surrender. “I just heard whispers, man. Word on the street is Joker and the ‘crow are lookin’ for someone—most likely one of his old runners. Said he took something. Chemical notes, maybe the whole damn formula. Whatever it is, it’s important. Real important. Joker’s tearing through people trying to get it back.”
Jason’s gaze darkened. “You know who this guy is?”
“No name,” Mancini coughed. “Just that he used to run logistics—backdoor stuff. Quiet type. Smart guy. Kept to himself. Real ghost.”
“Not smart enough if he got himself tangled up with the Joker and Scarecrow,” Dick muttered.
Jason’s hand tightened. For a moment, Dick thought he might snap.
“Jason,” he said, quiet. A reminder.
Jason let go.
Mancini dropped to his knees, coughing and trembling. Jason stepped back into the shadows, tapping his comm.
“You catch all that, Oracle?”
Barbara’s voice filtered in, sharp and efficient. “Every word. Red Robin and B are already digging. If this guy’s in Gotham, we’ll find him. But until then, you two are off the clock. Get some rest.”
Jason exhaled through his nose. “Yeah. Sure.”
Dick shot him a look. “Try to actually listen for once. Not everything has to be solved in one night.” 
With that, he clapped Jason on the shoulder and nudged him toward the exit—just as the distant wail of GCPD sirens broke the silence, growing louder with every passing second. Cleanup crew was on its way.
Jason didn’t answer. His jaw was tight, his thoughts already miles ahead—backtracking whispers, dissecting clues, remembering the sound of laughter that still echoed in the corners of his nightmares.
It was rare for the Joker to get invested in anything. He thrived on chaos, not consistency. But if he was serious enough to go out of his way to hunt down some nobody, then whoever had the formula was sitting on a bomb.
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sabrinajenre96 · 30 days ago
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Title: “Three’s Company”
Pairing: Tim Bradford x Detective!Wife!Reader
Featuring: Kojo the bulldog mix, Lucy Chen
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---
The first time Tim saw the dog, it was sitting on the front seat of Lucy’s car, tongue lolling out, happy as can be.
“He’s not staying,” Tim grunted, arms crossed, frown deepening.
Lucy cringed. “Look, I thought I could handle it—after Caleb, I just… needed something to ground me. But Kojo needs more than I can give him right now.”
The dog—Kojo—let out a snort and hopped out of the car, waddling right up to Tim like they were old friends.
Tim narrowed his eyes. “Great. He likes me.”
“More than me,” Lucy muttered, guilt in her voice. “But… I don’t want to send him to a shelter. He deserves better.”
And somehow, that was how Kojo ended up in the passenger seat of Tim’s truck, staring out the window like it was the best day of his life.
Tim didn’t want a dog. He barely wanted lunch most days. But the dog obeyed him better than some rookies he’d trained. No barking. No accidents. Just… loyalty. Annoyingly persistent loyalty.
When he got home for lunch—on your rare day off—Kojo followed him inside like he already had the key.
You stood in the kitchen, barefoot, coffee in one hand and wearing his hoodie. “Hey babe,” you said sweetly, eyes landing on the dog behind him. “Who’s this?”
Tim sighed. “This is Kojo. Lucy’s. Was Lucy’s. Now he’s—”
“Ours,” you interrupted, kneeling and letting Kojo lick your face enthusiastically. “We’re keeping him. No questions asked.”
Tim stared. “Babe—”
You pointed at him. “No. You brought a dog into this house. Into my kitchen. He’s claimed the rug. You’re outnumbered.”
Kojo let out a soft bark of approval.
---
Two Weeks Later
Tim adjusted faster than he’d admit. Kojo was a surprisingly good jogging partner and seemed to understand “stay out of the crime scene evidence” better than some new recruits.
You, on the other hand, took to dog mom life like you’d been born for it. Kojo slept at the foot of the bed, had his own drawer in the kitchen for treats, and sat like a gentleman whenever you gave commands.
He did, however, try to eat Tim’s boots once. There was growling. From both sides.
“You trained cops. You can train a dog,” you told Tim, brushing Kojo’s fur as he pouted. “He just needs structure.”
“I am structure,” Tim muttered.
---
One Month Later
Tim came home from a double shift to find Kojo asleep with his head in your lap while you read a case file.
You looked up, eyes soft. “He waited at the door for you for two hours.”
Tim dropped his bag and sighed. “He’s softening me. I can feel it. He’s ruining my rep.”
You grinned. “You’re not that grumpy.”
Kojo let out a snore.
Tim crossed his arms. “Traitor.”
---
Epilogue:
Kojo became an unofficial mascot at Mid-Wilshire. Chen smiled every time she saw him. Nolan made him a badge.
When you and Tim hosted a BBQ for the team, Kojo proudly wore an LAPD vest that said K9 (Kind of).
Tim rolled his eyes, but he scratched behind Kojo’s ears when no one was looking.
You caught him once. He shrugged. “He’s family now.”
You kissed his cheek. “Told you.”
Kojo barked. Tim groaned.
Three’s company.
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bananayuyu · 2 months ago
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Tell Me No {2}
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Pairing: professor!Yunho x f reader
Genre: smut, dark academia vibes
Word count: 4.9k
Summary: Your relationship with Professor Jeong is blooming, but finals are coming and have you stressed beyond belief. Will you be able to survive them, when all you want to do is spend time with your gorgeous professor?
Warnings: smut, MDNI, oral (f receiving), fingering, squirting, praise
A/n: I've got part 3 planned out already, lmk if you wanna be tagged!
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | Read it on ao3
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"How's my favorite student doing?"
Professor Jeong's whisper is so soft you can barely hear it, his face not lifting from the stack of papers on his desk. The classroom is quiet, but not silent, and the blanket of soft chatter is hiding your interaction just enough that you decide to respond.
"Fine, I guess," you whisper back, his head raising in concern. His face is serious as he looks deep into your eyes, trying to read why you've just said that.
"After class," is all he says in return, and you know from the nervous shifting of his eyes that it's time to walk away, time to slink back to your desk.
You were nervous, terribly, horribly nervous for finals, that was why your head was spinning and you were barely getting sleep. It was make or break time, the last two weeks of the semester when every bit of work you'd put in would either pay off, or disintegrate in your hands.
You wished you found school easy, but you just never did. As much as you loved to write you found the structure of classes and exams hard to cope with, even though you knew how important it was for your future career.
If you were ever going to make it as a writer, you'd need connections and letters of recommendation and people on your side. You'd never tasted an ounce of support from your family, when it came to these dreams. Being here had helped you understand how important these University relationships were, that your professors or peers might be people many years down the line who helped you succeed. You'd received more positive feedback in the last few weeks that ever in your life; even your annoying classmate liked your work enough to tell you.
"That last story prof read was yours, wasn't it?" Marcus asks as class ends, the room filled with warmth from the wood stove in the corner, winter now upon you.
"How could you tell?" you ask, rolling your eyes as you turn back to face him.
"You always include a cat in your stories, no matter how irrelevant, it's pretty fucking obvious."
"Okay, sorry for doing that, I guess," you sigh, eyes hitting the ceiling again.
"I'm not tryna be an asshole, seriously, it was good. And prof obviously loved it too, he was smiling the whole time he read."
A jolt of happiness shoots through you at the mention of Professor Jeong's admiration, and it takes every bit of your will to avoid smiling.
"Well, thanks then," you respond, shooting Marcus a quick, tight smile.
"Wow, see, the ice is breaking, you aren't being such a bitch to me anymore," he laughs, grabbing his bag and zipping it closed. "You finally warming up to me?"
"No, absolutely fucking not," you grimace, staring back at his waggling eyebrows.
"Forget I said that, then," he laughs, standing and walking out of the room, your eyes snaking over the empty desks around and the small line of students at the front of the room, asking for extensions or extra credit work to make up their grades before the end of the semester.
"I asked you to rewrite this paper three weeks ago," you hear Professor Jeong telling the boy in front of him, filing the short stories from the day into his bag.
"I know sir, I'm very sorry, I was just too busy with my other classes-"
"I know this is upsetting to hear, but I can't give you more of an extension than I already have. This is a small school, we do not operate with the goal of passing as many students as we can. Other students in this very class have made up work I've requested, within the time I requested it. It simply wouldn't be fair to them to let you get away with this." His eyes raise to meet yours for a moment, before moving down to the boy again. "Listen, you got good grades on your first two papers, and if you do well on the final, you will pass. Just focus on the final, and you will be fine."
The boy shuffles off in frustration, and several students behind follow him too, not bothering to try to convince your professor of giving them second chances. Was it too harsh? You couldn't tell how you felt about it, because a part of you felt so flattered by what he'd said. You were the student who redid work on time, and had worked your ass off since to maintain high grades in all your classes. If you'd neglected work like your classmate had, you'd understand your professor not giving you another chance. You didn't know what the boy's life was like, whether there were legitimate reasons for his inability to rewrite the paper; so much panic, so much worry over a person you didn't know was a clear indication of just how stressed you were.
You could care all day about the plight of everyone around you. But until you secured your independence and stability, you really needed to focus on yourself.
You waited patiently for the last student to exit the room, before gathering your things. You and your handsome professor had tried to not be obvious, to not spend time lingering around each other when other students or faculty were present. But there was something about always being the last to leave class that you liked; even on days when you didn't follow him home, you still got to have at least one private conversation, and even if he hadn't touched you, the few moments alone would leave you tingling with warmth all over.
He hadn't let things escalate any further, in the weeks since. You still made out when you visited his house, still felt his hardness through the thick cotton of his pants, let him touch you and tease you and drive you completely insane. But never had he seemed to want to push it further, and though you should have been laser focused on school, you couldn't help thinking about it. Did he not want you like you wanted him? Was he caught in feeling wrong for liking you the way he did?
Together you exit the building in complete silence, the air still but frigid. You had worn your favorite black leg warmers today, paired with your thickest tights, a white thermal turtle neck, and your warmest navy blue sweater. You even had long socks on, the white contrasting against your dark blue Mary Janes, but you still shivered as you stepped outside. You should have brought your winter coat today, but there was nothing you could do about it now. Usually on clear days like today, the sun warmed the winter air by early afternoon, enough that you wouldn't need so many layers.
You walk fast to help warm yourself, moving through the routine you knew well by now. You wait by the platform as Professor Jeong buys your tickets, and he slips one carefully in your hand as he walks past, only glancing at you a moment before moving to stand ten feet away. Your body aches to follow him and be next to him always, but you know as well as he does that you really shouldn't get caught. As sweet and wholesome as this whole thing felt to you, it wasn't something other people needed to know about. You were sure most wouldn't understand, and those who did might only tease you about it endlessly.
It takes several minutes for the train to arrive, running late due to the freezing weather. Though it'd barely snowed in the morning, enough water froze over on parts of the track to require some last minute maintenance. You both rush to the door with every other waiting passenger, pushing your way close to the front to not miss out on a seat. On days like today no one was walking home, and the trains got uncomfortably full.
You push in behind him, handing your ticket off quickly, and stumble into the seat to his right, pretending like you'd accidentally ended up there and were just thankful to be sitting. People crowd the isle, a pair of legs mere inches from your own. You were thankful they belonged to a girl, one who leaned down and whispered 'sorry!' when a bump in the track knocked her sideways and into you slightly. Most of the students lived just one stop down, and in a few minutes the car is much less chaotic; you finally chance a glance in his direction, taking in his profile, the soft plane of his cheeks and perfect curve of his nose.
His head turns, and suddenly you snap your head away, feeling almost shy. He widens his thighs, leaning forward and sitting more comfortably, but the movement has caused your legs to touch and your whole body burns at the feeling, the opposite of relaxing. You want to mount him, climb into his lap and kiss and ride him until all your problems are forgotten. But you're in public, still several students and other professors littered through the train car, and you have to keep your composure.
Finally, you arrive at his stop. Forthsmith station is as barren as it always is, and as soon as the train is gone his hand is on your back, the two of you making quick work of the small walk to his house. Even he feels cold in his thick wool suit, the late November weather not usually this cold, the two of you clinging to each other for any warmth you can find.
As soon as you're greeted with the warmth of his cozy home, you sigh in relief. He lights the fire under his mantle, and as the wood starts crackling you walk to him, wrapping your arms around his back and squeezing hard. He chuckles, tugging on your arms to release, before turning around and pulling you in, sighing at the perfect feeling of your head tucked in his chest and arms around his back. In a moment you're raising your head to kiss him, and it's warm and sweet and so gentle, making your frigid body melt into him. You hold onto his neck, pulling him in. It's so easy to get lost in each other the moment you're alone, when you have to pretend in all other contexts to barely even notice each other. Soon your kiss is paired with heavy breaths and tongues, and the heat between your thighs is growing fast, your body begging you to find something to grind against.
You pull him to the edge of the couch and push him down on it, climbing onto his lap and straddling him. His cock is obviously hard, and immediately you're grinding against it and kissing him, his hands coming up to grip onto your ass and guide your movements. You've barely spoken a word to each other, because this is all you really wanted to do; to be back in each other's arms after so many days apart, your schedules not allowing for a moment like this in too long.
"How's my pretty girl feeling?" he asks, breaking the kiss and pulling his hands to the sides of your face.
"I'm fine," you whine, frustrated he's not matching your movements anymore. "I'm horny," you whisper.
"I know, angel, I can tell, but you looked upset earlier, I want to know if you're feeling alright."
"I just want you to touch me so I can forget about it all," you sigh, pouting at him.
"That's not how adults deal with their problems, angel," he responds. You roll your eyes, but finally give up your humping, slumping into his chest again. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I'm just very stressed for finals," you say.
"Which final are you most stressed about?" he asks, running a hand down your back.
"Yours," you say, snuggling into him more.
"Mine? Why mine?"
"Cause it's two parts, two separate days, that's really intimidating."
He sighs, taking in a deep breath. "I'm not going to lie to you and say it's easy, but I know you can do it." You just grumble beneath him, not responding with anything coherent. "What always helps me when I'm nervous about something is to do a trial run. I did that with my thesis defense, I performed it to my roommates probably three times in the week leading up to it. It helped a lot."
You nod your head against him, wondering just how hard the rest of your academic career would be, if you'd ever be able to get to the point of defending a doctorate thesis.
"I know what we should do. I will have you do a mock exam tonight, I'll time you and everything, and then you'll get to see that it really isn't so bad."
"What?" you asked, head shooting up. "I don't want to do that, I'm tired..." you whine, looking pathetically frustrated.
"I'll reward you after, how does that sound?" he asks, squeezing your thigh in his hand.
"But the exam is like four hours total," you sigh, pouting.
"We'll just do one section tonight, you get to choose. Which one are you most nervous about?" he asks.
"The- the short story," you stutter. "I think the essay portion will be fine, I've written so many five-paragraph essays in my life. Writing a whole short story by hand in two hours sounds awful though."
"Awful? Like I'm trying to torture you?" he mocks, smirking.
"Shut up," you grumble, turning your head away and making him laugh.
"Okay, short story it is. I'll get you some paper and a pencil and we'll do it in my office, so it feels more like you're at school," he says. "And I promise the reward will be worth it darling, I promise to make you feel so good." His voice is low and sensual as the sentence leaves his lips, and your body shudders with need, your chest flushing. He gives you a quick chaste kiss on the cheek before standing you up, moving to his office to set out the materials you'd need, and pulling out his desk chair for you. In minutes you're sitting at his desk and he's starting his timer, leaving the room to start preparing dinner while you panic internally about what the hell to write about.
It was so hard to come up with something on the spot, no prompt to help you. But like always, the feelings you were having translated right onto the page, and before you knew it a creepy and mysterious story was pouring out of you, atmospheric and unnerving, matching the anxiety you were still feeling about the next two weeks of your life. An hour in he'd brought you a cup of soup, and gingerly you sipped at it without spilling on your pages, careful to dip your roll in the broth and avoid sending crumbs flying in all directions.
"You done?" he asks when he enters again, the timer on his phone beeping. You'd made it the two hours, time flying remarkably fast. Your hand was starting to cramp, but you felt proud of yourself. You'd actually managed to do it, and he was right; you were no longer so fearful of his coming exam.
You nodded at him with a genuine smile, turning your papers around to show him your completed work.
"See, I knew you could do it," he says, leaning down across his desk to place a kiss on your cheek. "Now read it for me, from start to finish."
"Oh, sir, I- I don't know-" You cut yourself off with a sigh, looking away from him.
"I want to hear it," he says, voice low and buttery in that way you love, your insides rolling.
"But it's not very good," you pout, looking back to him.
"I'm sure that's not true," he says, sitting himself on the edge of his desk and crossing his legs. "Come on, read it."
"Okay," you say shakily, letting out a trapped breath.
"'You know what you must do, child,' my mother says. She's staring down the letter I've received, the letter from Lucifer himself, calling upon me. Red ink stains the page, the characters boxy and sharp. 'Come now, or he dies.' And I know exactly who he's referring to. Dahlia is slinking around the side of the room, his rose gold fur shining in the moonlight. My mother tries to resist him, but she's never been able. Who would have ever guessed that a demon lived inside this beautiful cat, cursed for a thousand years to be stuck in this strange form, never knowing who or what will come along next in his life?"
It starts flowing out of you the moment you get over the hurdle of simply starting, and then Professor Jeong's eyes are fixed on you and sparkling with awe, spurring you on further, making your heart sing.
"It was a long trek to the station. The Midnight Train stopped only once in our town, across the river from my family's old stone cottage. As I crossed the bridge the water twinkled, a soft breeze blowing through the tall grass in the valley. It was peaceful and quiet, soft moonlight illuminating the path ahead. Not a soul was out, just the haze of smoke from chimneys. I breathed hard as I neared the station. My body was not up to this sort of journey, but I'd known from the moment I started my letter that I'd be coming here. There was no where else for girls like me to go."
It was easy to speak, easy to feel proud of your work when he looked so pleased. You read through the horrors of the Midnight Train, tried your best to make your voice spooky and haunted, but all it did was make a chuckle escape from deep within him, his beautiful high cheekbones on display. You take in a sharp breath to calm your own laughter, steadying yourself for the last page of your story.
"Through the back door of the dining car, a final room appears to me, and from the shadowy darkness a skeleton comes, creaking in its movements. 'Ms. Delphine, a pleasure,' he says as he bows, his middle ribs clicking together. 'I always appreciate a visit from one of the chosen protectors.' I stare down at my precious companion in my arms, his face soft and tranquil, as if he hadn't noticed the horrors around us. 'It is a true curse, and a true calling,' I nodded, staring into his empty eye sockets. It was clear I had much to learn. The damned see life differently. Of course they do, I thought. How could I have been so short sighted to think otherwise?
The skeleton moves aside, holding a hand out towards the back of the room. With careful steps I glide forward, finally making out the shape of a door. When I open it, the sky is bright and birds are singing, flowers dotting a lush field. In the distance I spot the Unchosen Castle. It is strikingly shiny and bright. I hold a hand up to shade my eyes. 'We'll be seeing you,' the skeleton says. I turn back to him, the room brighter now. Rotting flesh is hanging off his left knee cap. A bullet hole is obvious in the side of his skull.
But as strange as it is, I don't feel panic. When I look down, Dahlia is asleep in my arms. I was called upon, but expected to leave. My old life out of reach, my new life a set of honors. But I had no desire to step out into that field. I close the door instead and breathe in the muskiness. The darkness greets me. For the first time in my life, I feel completely at home."
"Wonderful, just wonderful," Professor Jeong says, shaking his head and clasping his hands together. "Promise me you will write horror books when you're older."
"I want to," you smile, blinking as you look up at him.
"It's a wonderful style, almost a cozy horror, if that makes sense."
You turn your eyes down, overcome with the way he's so perfectly described what you were going for. To know it had translated off the page sent your head spinning. Could you really do this, become a successful author? It was him above anyone else, who was making you believe in that future.
"Come on, let's go back to the living room," he says as he grabs your empty bowl, pushing in his desk chair once you stand out of it.
As soon as you're back in the coziness of the fire-lit room, your hands are on him and his are on you, grabbing for every bit of each other.
"My little genius," he sighs, kissing you soft and tenderly, arms wrapping tightly around you. "You did so good for me, doing exactly what I asked. And you wrote so well."
"I wanna be good for you, that's all I want to do," you sigh, opening your mouth further, relishing in feeling his tongue against yours, the soft warmth tantalizing and true.
"Let me taste you then," he says, and you suddenly can't breathe, jitters snaking their way up through your legs and landing straight in your core. "That sound good?" he chuckles, your shocked face so utterly adorable, and you murmur a soft 'mhm' before kissing him again.
He lets you deepen it, pulling your faces together and relishing in the taste of each other's mouths. Your body is tight against him, on your tiptoes to reach as high as you can, but still he is bent over slightly to meet you, holding onto your low back as you arch into his touch. Your hips press against his, and you can feel how hard he is already; you swear he's yearning to fuck you as much as you're yearning for it too, but he's taking his time, waiting patiently, and something about that is making your brain melt even more.
You'd never been treated so respectfully in your life. It was such a confusing feeling, because you knew he shouldn't be wanting you like this at all. But if anyone was a fly on the wall and could see how he acted, you were sure no one would think negatively of him at all.
Slowly he breaks the kiss, planting a final peck on your nose before leaning down and undoing the strap on each of your shoes, helping you carefully step out of them. Then he pulls off your leg warmers, setting them in a pile beside your shoes. The anticipation of what's coming off next sends shivers through you, and when he looks up he catches sight of the lust in your eyes, his eyes shiny in the yellow light. He takes his time with your tights, pulling gently at the waist to move them over your hips, and his hands feel electric against your bare ass, making your mouth water. As he pulls them down your thighs he relishes the moment, planting soft kisses in your plushness and moving closer and closer to the small nest at your center, making you squirm.
"You smell amazing, angel," he says, his pupils blown at he looks up at you, his eyes darker now than you'd ever seen them. He looks good like this, his cheeks slightly flushed, hair faintly disheveled. You wonder what he'd look like after a good ravishing, how perfect he'd be with swollen lips and completely messy hair. You reach down to mess it up further, the dark black locks soft and lusciously thick in your hand. Soon he's pulled your tights completely down, and you hold onto his shoulders to balance as you step each foot out in quick succession.
"Come here," he says, leading you to the couch and sitting you down as he'd been earlier. When he leans in you grab onto his suit jacket again, pulling him closer and deeper, loving the feeling of the soft, thick wool in your hands. Since winter started he'd been wearing gorgeous suits every day, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't so incredibly distracting during class.
"You like my suit?" he asks, chuckling as he makes his way to your neck and places gentle kisses from your jaw to your shoulder, making you shudder in pleasure.
"Yes," you sigh in response, tipping your head back.
"Does it turn you on?" he jokes further.
"Yeah, it does," you chuckle, lifting your head back up to nip at his ear in retaliation. He just laughs and pulls back, before diving into your plush lips again and devouring you. He's been thinking about this for days, and it's making his head fuzzy that you're half naked in front of him, spread wide on his couch.
Finally he moves down to your thighs, leaving gentle nips and licking along the length of them, making you wetter as your cunt tingles in need. It's agonizing waiting for him to get there, but when he does, when he licks a slow stripe up the entire length of your slit and moans at the taste, it's more than worth it. Your back is already arching, knees pushing themselves even wider so he has all the room he needs. He does it again, before focusing his attention on your clit, licking slow half circles around it, the warmth of his tongue too perfect to comprehend.
He spends his time working you up, holding onto your thighs and whispering praises, 'god you taste so fucking good,' or 'good girl, open up for me.' Your cunt is flushed and pink and wet for him, and finally he brings his right hand to meet his mouth, slipping to finger slowly into you and making you almost scream.
The deepness of the feeling is instantly delicious. You reach your hands out to grip onto his hair, groaning in pleasure as he starts sucking harder, pumping his fingers in and out of you slowly, but with force. He's curling them up in that perfect way, hitting the exact spot that drives you crazy, and the pleasure builds fast, your cunt feeling fiery-hot and utterly amazing. It's taking your breath away, how smooth he is, how each movement seems perfectly controlled and perfectly tailored to you. He looks up once, catching your eye, and you almost fall over the edge in an instant from the sight of him between your legs, his pink cheeks stained with your wetness. You throw your head back, moaning loudly, and he picks up his speed slightly, feeling the walls of cunt starting to shake, knowing what's about to come.
Suddenly your pleasure is growing higher than you expect, but even as it reaches amazing heights, it keeps building, keeps growing. You're almost screaming at the feeling, so intense you're unable to comprehend it at all, and then suddenly you feel it, your legs shaking, your cunt squeezing down on him, and the extreme wetness spilling out of you. You look down to see his face covered in your squirt, a look of pure satisfaction on his face as he milks you through all of it, your high-pitched moans the most beautiful melody. Your orgasm lasts longer than any you've ever had, and by the end you're dumbfounded, slumping back into his couch and breathing uncontrollably, blinking in your confusion.
"That was so hot, fuck," he groans when he finally pulls away from you, moving back up to wipe a hand over your cheek and take a look at your eyes. "You feeling okay?"
"Yes, I definitely am," you chuckle, a small tear escaping from your right eye, and you wipe it away quickly. "That was fucking crazy."
"Have you ever squirted before?" he asks.
"No, I didn't know I could," you answer, smiling shyly.
"Fuck," he sighs, ego doing somersaults at knowing he was the one to help you discover that ability. He chuckles before sitting himself down next to you, wrapping you up in his arms and cradling you, planting soft kisses on your forehead as you come down.
Twenty minutes later you're a yawning mess, your body completely wracked from how hard you came. It was also growing late, the street outside dark and gloomy, the fire crackling in the corner was giving you much needed warmth that was only adding to your sleepiness.
"I don't think I can make it home," you tell him, looking up with upward turned eyebrows, hoping he'll let you stay.
"No staying here until finals are done," he says, shaking his head, and you pout and shove your head in his chest, frustrated. "I want you to stay here with me too, darling, but I can't be the reason you don't make it to your classes tomorrow."
You sigh in knowing he's right, that it's probably not a good idea to stay when you have such important days ahead. It takes all your remaining energy to stand up, redressing in the warmth of his living room, and sliding on your shoes. He brings your bag for you, carrying it as he walks you back to the station, before sending you off with a quick kiss on the cheek.
The train is nearly empty so late, and the air feels colder when you step off, without him by your side. But all you can think about is his mouth and fingers and tongue, and that night you sleep like a baby, completely and totally content.
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next part ->
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Taglist: @iamalily @atzri @marii1087 @dilfkimhjj @yunyuniverse
Thank you all for the feedback and support <3333333333
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koiukiy-o · 2 months ago
Text
orphic; (adj.) mysterious and entrancing, beyond ordinary understanding. ─── 008. the email.
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-> summary: when you, a final-year student at the grove, get assigned to study under anaxagoras—one of the legendary seven sages—you know things are about to get interesting. but as the weeks go by, the line between correlation and causation starts to blur, and the more time you spend with professor anaxagoras, the more drawn to him you become in ways you never expected. the rules of the academy are clear, and the risks are an unfortunate possibility, but curiosity is a dangerous thing. and maybe, just maybe, some risks are worth taking. after all, isn’t every great discovery just a leap of faith? -> pairing: anaxa x gn!reader. -> tropes: professor x student, slow burn, forbidden romance. -> wc: 3.3k -> warnings: potential hsr spoilers from TB mission: "Light Slips the Gate, Shadow Greets the Throne" (3.1 update). main character is written to be 21+ years of age, at the very least. (anaxa is written to be around 26-27 years of age.) swearing, mature themes, suggestive content.
-> a/n: yum. good night, see you next week <3 -> prev. || next. -> orphic; the masterlist.
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On the board: a rough, sketched spiral that narrowed into itself. Then—without explanation—he stepped back and faced the room.
“The Julia Set,” he began, “is defined through recursive mapping of complex numbers. For each point, the function is applied repeatedly to determine whether the point stays bounded—or diverges to infinity.”
He turned, writing the equation with a slow, deliberate hand, the symbols clean and sharp. He underlined the c.
“This constant,” he said, tapping the chalk beneath it, “determines the entire topology of the set. Change the value—just slightly—and the behavior of every point shifts. Entire regions collapse. Others become beautifully intricate. Sensitive dependence. Chaotic boundaries.”
He stepped away from the board.
“Chaos isn’t disorder. It's order that resists prediction. Determinism disguised as unpredictability. And in this case—beauty emerging from divergence.”
Your pen slowed. You knew this was about math, about structure, but there was something in the way he said it—beauty emerging from divergence—that caught in your ribs like a hook. You glanced at the sketch again, now seeing not just spirals and equations, but thresholds. Points of no return.
He circled a section of the diagram. “Here, the boundary. A pixel’s fate determined not by distance, but by recurrence. If it loops back inward, it’s part of the set. If it escapes, even by a fraction, it’s not.”
He let the silence stretch.
“Think about what that implies. A system where proximity isn’t enough.”
A few students around you were taking notes rapidly now, perhaps chasing the metaphor, or maybe just keeping up. You, however, found yourself still. His words hung in the air—not heavy, but precise, like the line between boundedness and flight.
Stay bounded… or spiral away.
Your eyes lifted to the chalk, now smeared faintly beneath his hand.
Then—casually, as if announcing the time—he said, “The application deadline for the symposium has closed. Confirmation emails went out last night. If you don’t receive one by tonight, your submission was not accepted.”
It landed in your chest like dropped glass.
It’s already the end of the week?
You sat perfectly straight. Not a single muscle out of place. But you could feel your pulse kicking against your collarbone. A kind of dissonance buzzing at the edges of your spine. The type that doesn’t show on your face, but makes every sound feel like it’s coming through water.
“Any questions?” he asked.
The room was silent.
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You waited until most of the students had filed out, notebooks stuffed away, conversations trailing toward the courtyard. Anaxagoras was still at the front, brushing residual chalk from his fingers and packing his notes into a thin leather folio. The faint light from the projector still hummed over the fractal diagram, now ghostlike against the faded screen.
You stepped down the lecture hall steps, steady despite the pressure building in your chest.
“Professor Anaxagoras,” you said evenly.
He glanced up. “Yes?”
“I sent you an email last night,” you said, stepping forward with a measured pace. “Regarding the papers you sent to me on Cerces’ studies on consciousness. I wanted to ask if you might have some time to discuss it.”
There was a brief pause—calculated, but not cold. His eyes flicked to his watch.
“I saw it,” he said finally. “Though I suspect the timing was… not ideal.”
You didn’t flinch. “No, it wasn’t,” you said truthfully. “I was… unexpectedly impressed, and wanted to follow up in person.”
You open your mouth to respond, but he speaks again—calm, almost offhanded.
“A more timely reply might have saved me the effort of finding a third paper.”
You swallow hard, the words catching before they form. “I didn’t have anything useful to say at the time,” you admit, keeping your voice neutral. “And figured it was better to wait to form coherent thoughts and opinions… rather than send something half-baked.”
He adjusts his cuff without looking at you. “A brief acknowledgment would have sufficed.”
You swallow hard, the words catching before they form. “Right,” you murmur, choosing not to rise to it.
Another beat. His expression was unreadable, though you thought you caught the flicker of something in his gaze. 
He glanced at the clock mounted near the back of the hall. “It’s nearly midday. I was going to step out for lunch.”
You nodded, heart rising hopefully, though your face stayed calm. “Of course. If now isn’t convenient—”
He cut in. “Join me. We can speak then.”
You blinked.
“I assume you’re capable of walking and discussing simultaneously.” A faint, dry smile.
So it was the email. And your slow response.
“Yes, of course. I’ll get my things.” 
You turned away, pacing steadily back up the steps of the hall toward your seat. Your bag was right where you left it, tucked neatly beneath the desk—still unzipped from the frenzy of earlier note-taking. You knelt to gather your things, pulling out your iPad and flipping open the annotated PDFs of Cerces’ consciousness studies. The margins were cluttered with highlights and your own nested comments, some so layered they formed little conceptual tangles—recursive critiques of recursive thought. You didn’t bother smoothing your expression. You were already focused again.
“Hey,” Kira greeted, nudging Ilias’s arm as you approached. They’d claimed the last two seats in the row behind yours, and were currently sharing a half-suppressed fit of laughter over something in his notebook. “So… what’s the diagnosis? Did fractals break your brain or was it just Anaxagoras’ voice again?”
You ignored that.
Ilias leaned forward, noticing your bag already packed. “Kira found a dumpling stall, we were thinking of-”
You were halfway through slipping your tablet into its case when you said, lightly, “I’m heading out. With Professor Anaxagoras.”
A pause.
“You’re—what?” Ilias straightened, eyebrows flying up. “Wait, wait. You’re going where with who?”
“We’re discussing Cerces’ papers,” you said briskly, adjusting the strap across your shoulder. “At lunch. I emailed him last night, remember?” 
“Oh my god, this is about the symposium. Are you trying to—wait, does he know that’s what you’re doing? Is this your long game? I swear, if you’re using complex consciousness theory as a romantic smokescreen, I’m going to—”
“Ilias.” You cut him off with a look, then a subtle shake of your head. “It’s nothing. Just a conversation.”
He looked at you skeptically, but you’d already pulled up your annotated copy and were scrolling through notes with one hand as you stepped out of the row. “I’ll see you both later,” you added.
Kira gave you a little two-finger salute. “Report back.”
You didn't respond, already refocused.
At the front of the lecture hall, Anaxagoras was waiting near the side doors, coat over one arm. You fell into step beside him without pause, glancing at him just long enough to nod once.
He didn’t say anything right away, but you noticed the slight tilt of his head—acknowledging your presence.
You fell into step beside him, footsteps echoing softly down the marble corridor. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The quiet wasn’t awkward—it was anticipatory, like the silence before a difficult proof is solved.
“I assume you’ve read these papers more than once,” he said eventually, eyes ahead.
You nodded. “Twice this past week. Once again this morning. Her model’s elegant. But perhaps incorrect.”
That earned you a glance—quick, sharp, interested. “Incorrect how?”
“She defines the recursive threshold as a closed system. But if perception collapses a state, then recursion isn’t closed—it’s interrupted. Her architecture can’t accommodate observer-initiated transformation.”
“Hm,” Anaxagoras said, and the sound meant something closer to go on than I disagree.
“She builds her theory like it’s immune to contradiction,” you added. “But self-similarity under stress doesn’t hold. That makes her framework aesthetically brilliant, but structurally fragile.”
His mouth twitched, not quite into a smile. “She’d despise that sentence. And quote it in a rebuttal.”
You hesitated. “Have you two debated this before?”
“Formally? Twice. Informally?” A beat. “Often. Cerces doesn’t seek consensus. She seeks pressure.”
“She’s the most cited mind in the field,” you noted.
“And she deserves to be,” he said, simply. “That’s what makes her infuriating.”
The breeze shifted as you exited the hall and entered the sunlit walkway between buildings. You adjusted your bag, eyes still on the open document.
“I marked something in this section,” you said, tapping the screen. “Where she refers to consciousness having an echo of structure. I don’t think she’s wrong—but I think it’s incomplete.”
Anaxagoras raised a brow. “Incomplete how?”
“If consciousness is just an echo, it implies no agency. But what if recursion here is just… a footprint, and not the walker?”
Now he did smile—barely. “You sound like her, ten years ago.”
You blinked. “Really?”
“She used to flirt with metaphysics,” he said. “Before tenure, before the awards. She wrote a paper once proposing that recursive symmetry might be a byproduct of a soul-like property—a field outside time. She never published it.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “She said, and I quote, ‘Cowardice isn’t always irrational.’”
You let out a soft breath—part laugh, part disbelief.
“She sounds more like you than I thought.”
“Don’t insult either of us,” he murmured, dry.
You glanced over. “Do you think she was right? Back then?”
He didn’t answer immediately. Then: “I think she was closer to something true that neither of us were ready to prove.”
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Anaxagoras led the way toward the far side of the cafeteria, bypassing open tables and settling near the windows. The view wasn’t much—just a patch of campus green dotted with a few students pretending it was warm enough to sit outside—but it was quiet.
You sat across from him, setting your tray down with a muted clink. He’d ordered black coffee and a slice of what looked like barely tolerable faculty lounge pie. You hadn’t really bothered—just tea and a half-hearted sandwich you were already ignoring.
The silence was polite, not awkward. Still, you didn’t want it to stretch too long.
“I’d like to pick her mind.”
He glanced up from stirring his coffee, slow and steady.
You nodded once. “Her work in subjective structure on pre-intentional cognition it overlaps more than I expected with what I’ve been sketching in my own models. And Entanglement—her take on intersubjective recursion as a non-local dynamic? That’s… not something I want to ignore.”
“I didn’t think you would,” he said. 
“I don’t want to question her,” you said, adjusting the angle of your tablet. “Not yet. I want to understand what she thinks happens to subjectivity at the boundary of recursion, where perception becomes self-generative rather than purely receptive. And many other things, but—”
He watched you closely. Not skeptical—never that—but with the faint air of someone re-evaluating an equation that just gave a new result.
You tapped the edge of the screen. “There’s a gap here, just before she moves into her case study. She references intersubjective collapse, but doesn’t elaborate on the experiential artifacts. If she’s right, that space might not be emptiness—it might be a nested field. A kind of affective attractor.”
“Or an illusion of one,” he offered.
“Even so,” you said, “I want to know where she stands. Not just in print. In dialogue. I want to observe her.”
There was a beat.
Then, quietly, Anaxagoras said, “She’s never been fond of students trying to shortcut their way into her circles.”
“I’m not trying to–.” You met his gaze, unflinching. “I just want to be in the room.” 
There was a pause—measured, as always—but he understood your request.
Then, Anaxagoras let out a quiet breath. The edge of his mouth curved, just slightly—not the smirk he wore in lectures, or the fleeting amusement he reserved for Ilias’ more absurd interjections. A… strange acknowledgment made just for you.
“I suspected you’d want to attend eventually… even if you didn’t think so at the time.” He said, voice low.
He stirred his coffee once more, slow and precise, before continuing.
“I submitted an application on your behalf.” His eyes flicked up, sharp and clear. “The results were set to be mailed to me—” After a brief pause, he says, “I thought it would be better to have the door cracked open than bolted shut.”
Your breath caught, but you didn’t speak yet. You stared at him, something between disbelief and stunned silence starting to rise.
“… And?”
He held your gaze. “They approved it.” He said it matter-of-factly, like it wasn’t a gesture of profound academic trust. “Your mind is of the kind that Cerces doesn’t see in students. Not even doctoral candidates. If you ever wanted to ask them aloud, you’d need space to make that decision without pressure.”
Your heart skipped a beat, the rush of warmth flooding your chest before you could even fully process it. It wasn’t just the opportunity, not just the weight of the academic favor he’d extended—it was the fact that he had done this for you.
You looked down at your tablet for a beat, then back up. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I wasn’t sure it would matter to you yet.” His tone was even, but not distant.
Your chest tightened, heart hammering in your ribcage as a strange weight settled over you.
You leaned back slightly, absorbing it—not the opportunity, but the implication that he had practically read your mind.
You swallowed hard, fighting the surge of something fragile, something that wanted to burst out but couldn’t quite take form.
“And if I’d never brought it up?” you asked.
“I would have let the approval lapse.” He took a sip of coffee, still watching you. “The choice would have always been yours.”
Something in your chest pulled taut, then loosened.
“Thank you,” you said—quiet, sincere.
He dipped his head slightly, as if to say: of course.
Outside, through the high cafeteria windows, the light shifted—warmer now, slanting gold against the tiles. The silence that followed wasn’t awkward. 
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You’re halfway back to your dorm when you see them.
The bench is impossible to miss—leaning like it’s given up on its academic potential and fully embraced retirement. Dog is curled beneath it, mangy but somehow dignified, and Mydei’s crouched beside him, offering the crust from a purloined sandwich while Phainon gently brushes leaves out of its fur.
They clock you immediately.
“Look who’s survived their tryst with the divine,” Mydei calls out, peeling a bit of bread crust off for the dog, who blinks at you like it also knows too much.
“Ah,” he calls, sitting up. “And lo, they return from their sacred rites.”
You squint. “What?”
“I mean, I personally assumed you left to get laid,” Ilias says breezily, tossing a leaf in your direction. “Academic, spiritual, physical—whatever form it took, I’m not here to judge.”
“Lunch,” you deadpan. “It was lunch.”
“Sure,” he says. “That’s what I’d call him too.”
You stop beside them, arms loosely crossed. “You’re disgusting.”
Mydei finally glances up, smirking faintly. “We were betting how long it’d take you to return. Phainon said 45 minutes. I gave you an hour.”
“And I said that you might not come back at all,” Ilias corrects proudly. “Because if someone offered me a quiet corner and a waist as sntached as his, I’d disappear too.”
You roll your eyes so hard it almost hurts. “You’re projecting.”
“I’m romanticizing,” he counters. “It’s a coping mechanism.”
“So,” you ask, settling onto the bench, “Mydei, did you get accepted?”
Mydei doesn’t look up. “I did.”
Phainon sighs and leans back on his elbows. “I didn’t. Apparently my application lacks ‘structural focus’ and ‘foundational viability.’” He makes air quotes with a dramatic flourish, voice flat with mockery. “But the margins were immaculate.”
Ilias scoffs immediately, latching onto the escape hatch. “See? That’s why I didn’t apply.”
“You didn’t apply,” you repeat slowly, side-eyeing him.
“I was protecting myself emotionally,” he says, raising a finger. 
“Even after Kira asked you to?” you remind him.
“I cherish her emotional intelligence deeply, but I also have a very specific allergy to what sounds like academic jargon and judgment,” he replies, hand to chest like he’s delivering tragic poetry. 
You snort. “So you panicked and missed the deadline?”
“Semantics.”
The dog lets out a sleepy huff. Mydei strokes behind its ear and finally glances up at you. “I still can’t believe you didn’t apply. The panel was impressive.” 
You hesitate, staring down at the scuffed corner of your boot, when your phone dings.
One new message:
From: Anaxagoras   Subject: Addendum   Dear Student, I thought this might be of interest as well. – A.  
There’s one attachment.  
Cerces_MnemosyneFramework.pdf
You click immediately.  
Just to see.
The abstract alone hooks you. It’s Cerces again—only this time, she’s writing about memory structures through a mythopoetic lens, threading the Mnemosyne archetype through subjective models of cognition and reality alignment.
She argues that memory isn’t just retentive—it’s generative. That remembrance isn’t about the past, but about creating continuity. That when you recall something, you’re actively constructing it anew.
It’s dense. Braided with references. Challenging. 
You hear Ilias say your name like he’s winding up to go off into another overdramatic monologue, but your focus is elsewhere.
Because it’s still there—his voice from earlier, lodged somewhere between your ribs.
"A brief acknowledgement would have sufficed."
You’d let it pass. Swallowed the dry implication of it. But it’s been sitting with you ever since— he hadn’t needed to say more for you to hear what he meant.
You didn’t know what to say. Maybe you still don’t.
But you open a reply window. anyway.
Your thumb hovers for a beat.
Re: Still interested Nice paper, Prof. Warm regards, Y/N.
The moment it sends, you want to eat your keyboard.
He replies seconds later.
Re: – “Warm” seems generous. Ice cold regards, – A.
The moment it sends, you want to eat your keyboard.
It’s a small, almost imperceptible warmth spreading across your chest, but you force it back down, not wanting to make too much of it. 
Then you laugh. Not loud, but the sort of surprised, almost nervous laugh that catches in your chest, because somehow, you hadn’t anticipated this. You thought he’d be... formal. Distant. You didn’t expect a bit of humor—or was it sarcasm?
Your fingers hover over your phone again. Should you reply? What do you even say to that? You glance up, and that’s when you see it—Ilias’ eyes wide, his face scrunched in disbelief, like he’s trying to piece together the pieces of a puzzle.”
He points at you like he’s discovered some deep, dark secret. “You’re laughing?”
You groan, dragging a hand over your face, trying to will the heat out of your cheeks.
He doesn’t even try to hold back the mock horror in his voice after peeping into your phone. “Anaxagoras is the one that;s got you in a fit of giggles?”
Ilias gasps theatrically, pressing a hand to his chest. “Wait. Wait wait wait. Is he funny now? What, did he send you a meme? ‘Here’s a diagram of metaphysical collapse. Haha.’” He deepens his voice into something pompous and dry: “Student, please find attached a comedic rendering of epistemological decay.”
You’re already shaking your head. “He didn’t even say hello.”
“Even better,” Ilias says, dramatically scandalized. “Imagine being so academically repressed you forget how greetings work.”
He pauses, then squints at you suspiciously.
“You know what?” he says, snapping his fingers. “You two are made for each other.”
Your head whips toward him. 
He shrugs, all smug innocence. “No, no, I mean it. The dry wit. The existential despair. The zero social cues. It’s beautiful, really. You communicate exclusively through thesis statements and mutual avoidance. A match made in the archives.”
“I’m just saying,” he sing-songs, “when you two end up publishing joint papers and exchanging footnotes at midnight, don’t forget about us little people.”
You give him a flat look. “We won’t need footnotes.”
“Oh no,” Ilias says, pretending to be shocked. “It’s that serious already?”
You stomp on his foot.
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-> next.
taglist: @starglitterz @kazumist @naraven @cozyunderworld @pinksaiyans @pearlm00n @your-sleeparalysisdem0n @francisnyx @qwnelisa @chessitune @leafythat @cursedneuvillette @hanakokunzz @nellqzz @ladymothbeth @chokifandom @yourfavouritecitizen @sugarlol12345 @aspiring-bookworm @kad0o @yourfavoritefreakyhan @mavuika-marquez @fellow-anime-weeb927 @beateater @bothsacredanddust @acrylicxu @average-scara-fan @pinkytoxichearts @amorismujica @luciliae @paleocarcharias @chuuya-san @https-seishu @feliju @duckydee-0 @dei-lilxc @eliawis @strawb3rri-bliss
(send an ask/comment to be added!)
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sebsbarnes · 6 months ago
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Hi i love your work! I was wondering if u could do a fic where tangerine x reader are running from enemies on a job and they end up making out to try and hide from the enemies because pda makes people uncomfortable? Like the comment black widow makes to steve rogers in the winter soldier before she kisses him?
im backkk! so sorry for the massive delay, i love this request. it may be a little rusty so i apologize now.
pda || tangerine
tangerine x reader
warnings: brief talks of shooting and guns
word count: 1.2k+
masterlist
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"you're a fuckin' idiot, tan," you snapped in defeat, looking at the man who appeared clueless about the situation.
he tsked and continued to move deeper into the building, "there's nothing to worry about. alarm gets tripped so what? we got a few minutes before anyone shows up."
with slow footsteps you followed behind him. irate was the only word to describe your mood. you mimicked him behind his head, arms up in the air, your gun flailing around dangerously in your right hand as you muttered in a whiny baby voice, 'we got a few minutes'.
tangerine and stubbornness go hand in hand, you can't have one without the other. his attitude made missions sometimes far easier when there were issues with other individuals or, in this case, far more difficult. instead of waiting an extra five minutes for the incoming call from lemon providing tangerine with the keycode, tangerine took it upon himself to smash the keypad. of course, an orchestra of alarms rang out and bounced off the walls of the building in an almost deafening manner. but rest assured, there was no one in the building...according to tangerine.
"c'mon we need to hurry up," you said, now walking in stride with him, "second-floor unit 204."
it was a file the two of you were after. information was scarce to get. a mission would come through, assigned off to you, and that was the extent of knowledge you had. as far as you and tangerine knew, your boss wanted the list of names encrypted on the file. what you didn't know was that the building was teeming with employees ready to defend the file.
there was a loud boom followed by an eerie silence. immediately you and tangerine halted, his hand coming to hover in front of your body preventing you from moving. tangerine's eyebrows were pulled into a deep furrow attempting to use some sort of instinct to decipher where the noise was coming from. he caught your eye before following your pointed fingers that were angled above and to the left. just as he pivoted his head, a symphony of gunshots rang.
"move!" he demanded, gripping your jacket and shoving you behind a structural pillar.
the whizzing of the bullets sounded as if you were surrounded by a swarm of bees. you were silently cursing at tangerine for his rash decisions earlier. you watched as tangerine shot five men in succession.
"oh but we had time, right?" you barked, aiming your sights on seemingly the last gentleman. with a squeeze of the trigger, the bullet went flying, piercing the man on the side of his neck.
tangerine sprinted from his position, "let's go," he directed, grabbing onto your wrist.
"god-," you panted, "i hate working with you sometimes."
"oh shut up," he huffed as your legs pounded against the waxed tiles, your wrist still bouncing in his grasp.
just as the two of you were about to push open the front doors, a bullet shattered the glass causing the two of you to stumble. daring to peer behind you, you were met with about four men charging forward.
"shit, c'mon," tangerine rushed.
tangerine guided you around the corner of the building, sprinting into a busier part of town. there was no chance of losing the men and although the distance between grew wide, you could still hear the pounding of the footsteps. with you in tow, tangerine darted into a convenience store. through short breaths, you could hear tangerine muttering how there is a back exit. you took the opportunity to shrug off your jacket and toss it down one of the aisles in a measly attempt to disguise yourself. without warning you gripped tangerine's button down and popped the first three buttons open. he sent you a look of disgust.
"can you try disguising yourself?" the annoyance in your tone evident. without a word, tangerine huffed as he discarded his perfectly tailored jacket and vest by shoving it into a man's arms.
you and tangerine decided to cut into a park. it was risky doing so. the park only had one real entrance and exit and there wasn't much to hide behind. tangerine figured it was the best option instead of walking the busy streets and putting innocent lives in danger. so, the two of you darted through the gate but not before one last look at the unwelcomed guests trailing behind. thankfully, there was enough distance that the man leading the pack didn't notice the small detour you two took.
"what the fuck!" you groaned quietly after a few minutes of heaving breaths and pebbles scattering beneath your feet. you noticed one of the men walking slowly through the park's weaving pathways.
tangerine ran a hand through his hair, "we got nowhere to go."
you felt your palms getting sweaty as you tried raking your brain of what to do. tangerine looked just as clueless as you. the park had one entrance and the two of you were trapped in the corner.
"kiss me."
"what?" tangerine asked incredulously.
"pda, it uh-" you stammered, "it makes people uncomfortable."
a nervous chuckle escaped his lips but you couldn't miss the way his tongue poked out between his lips, "i'm not-"
before your mind could process your movements you were shoving tangerine by the shoulders and forcing him to sit down on the park bench. as if it was the most natural action in the world, you placed your knees on either side of his legs and sat on his thighs. leaning down you pressed your lips against his. your hands trailed up the back of his neck and into his now loose curls. you noted how tangerine didn't seem to move at first until it was like he suddenly came to life and his hands gripped at your hips.
tangerine's mind was spinning. he'd never dare to admit but he dreamed of this. the way your lips slotted perfectly into his, the feeling of your heart thumping against his chest, your nails gently gliding against his scalp, the feeling of your weight on him.
the kiss was gentle yet desperate. a kiss so perfect that you only read about it in romance novels. too perfect that you didn't even hear the suited man wielding a gun mutter how disgusting people are these days. his grimacing face going unnoticed as your lips molded to tangerine's. the echo of his footsteps receding faded into the night.
your lungs burned for air but you couldn't bring yourself to pull away. tangerine's cologne clouded your senses with a perfect mixture of cedarwood and green mandarin. his facial hair tickled at your face. you could feel tangerine's thigh flex with the movement of your body. his hands cradled your frame, your shirt slightly bunched in between his fingers. it pained you to pull away but you lost the ability to breathe.
your eyes fluttered in a sense of disbelief but also awe as tangerine's eyes bounced around your face. he noted the way your chest rapidly rose and fell, but for him, his breathing paused. he took in the way your lips were slightly swollen and glistening, the vanilla lip balm you applied earlier now transferred to his lips. your shirt now lopsided on your shoulders from him gripping your sides. though only one lamp lit the bench the two of you were perched on, tangerine could still see the pink flush dancing across your cheeks. gently, he raised his hand and brushed his thumb across your bottom lip, already missing the kiss.
if pda made people uncomfortable, tangerine wanted the whole world to feel unsettled.
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himasgod · 19 days ago
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HIII I SAW YOU HAVE REQUESTS OPEN AND I WANTED TO REQUEST :>>
idon't know if your comfortable with this but can i request twst 2nd years (replace kalim with leona) and what they do if their s/o is gone?
their s/o is dead so i wonder how they would mourn, how they take care of their s/o's grave, and how they cope without them?
i don't know if you accept requests like these but if you do then THANK YOU SO SO SOOO MUCH IN ADVANCE 🙏💕
SECOND YEARS + LEONA X READER
Where you died
How the boys would live the mourning process, how they take care of your grave, and how they cope without your death, with a live without you
Warning: This is hard angst. If you're a very perceptive person who visualizes a lot or empathizes with what you read, be prepared for a bit of a tear.
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Leona acts like he doesn’t care. At first. But deep down, he’s unraveled. He doesn’t cry in front of anyone. He shuts down. He sleeps even more, not out of laziness— because he can only see you in dreams now. There’s a rawness behind his eyes when your name is mentioned, but he covers it with silence. He avoids people because he hates how they look at him—with pity, like they expect him to break. He already did. Just not where anyone could see it.
Leona visits your grave late at night, always when no one's around. He doesn’t bring flowers. Instead, he sits in silence, talking to you about the mundane. “Ruggie got on my case again. Jack pissed me off.” Things like that. Sometimes, he brings pebbles from Savannaclaw and stacks them on your grave. Small tokens that only he would understand. He leaves when the sun starts to rise. Always before anyone can catch him there.
Leona tells himself it’s better this way—that he was only going to ruin you in the end. That you were too good for him. But that doesn’t stop the grief from choking him. He keeps something small of yours—a ring, a scarf, maybe a notebook with your handwriting. On bad days, he holds it so tightly his knuckles turn white. He doesn’t move on. He just becomes colder, harsher. Your loss is the scar he never lets heal.
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Riddle shuts down entirely. He doesn't cry—not at first. He goes numb. Rules become his lifeline. Structure. Order. Anything but feeling. But when he finds the last gift you gave him, tucked in a drawer, unopened—he collapses. He screams into his pillow. Breaks a teacup in his hands. Grief terrifies him because it's messy—and Riddle was taught to fear mess.
Riddle brings roses. Red, white, and blue—each carefully arranged. He memorizes the upkeep schedule of your grave, ensuring it’s spotless at all times. He even files complaints if the groundskeepers neglect it. When he visits, he reads aloud to you—poetry, or books you once loved. His voice is quiet. On your birthday, he always brings your favorite tea and pours a cup beside your grave. He doesn’t drink. Just… waits, in case you’re still listening.
Riddle reverts into old habits—strict routines, harsh punishments, stricter rules. But Trey knows. He sees the way Riddle’s hands shake. Eventually, Riddle softens—just a little. He keeps your photo on his desk, and he sometimes writes letters addressed to you, even though he never sends them. He studies healing magic obsessively. Not because he wants to bring you back—he knows he can’t. But because he never wants to lose someone like that again. You were his exception. His rebellion. His first real love. And he never quite recovers.
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Floyd doesn’t react the way people expect. He laughs when he hears the news—but it’s not happy. It’s empty. Then he gets violent. He wrecks an entire hallway, shattering windows and breaking anything that reminds him of you. Then… he’s just gone. He withdraws so deeply into himself that not even Jade or Azul can reach him. He stops showing up to class. Stops smiling. The spark in his eyes is just gone. He mutters your name to himself like a lullaby.
Floyd doesn’t go often. When he does, it’s erratic. One day he’s calm, sitting by your grave with seashells and pearls he found. The next, he’s yelling at the sky, sobbing, asking why you left him alone. He presses his forehead to your headstone sometimes and just stays there for hours. Then he leaves, mood unreadable, but always more exhausted than before.
Floyd changes. He becomes moodier, but not in his usual way. He loses interest in his usual chaos. You were the one who made the world interesting, after all. He keeps something of yours in his jacket—maybe your old hairpin or bracelet—and clutches it when he’s angry or lost. When people ask about you, he snaps: “Don’t talk about them. Ever.” Sometimes, though, he swears he hears your laughter. And for a fleeting second, he smiles like he used to.
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Silver is devastated, and it shows. He’s always been calm and emotionally steady, but your death shakes him to his core. He loses his rhythm—his duty falters, his naps grow deeper and longer. He wakes up crying from dreams where you’re still alive, only to remember you’re gone. His voice is softer now, as if anything louder might shatter him. He carries guilt. “Why couldn’t I protect you?” is a question that haunts him endlessly.
Silver visits your grave with quiet reverence. He brushes fallen leaves off the headstone with his hands, tends to the flowers, and replaces them often with lilies or whatever blooms you once loved. He kneels when he speaks to you, as if he still guards you even in death. He reads aloud fairytales you liked, letting the wind carry his words to wherever you might be. Silver doesn't rush. He stays until the stars come out. And sometimes he sleeps there. It's the closest he'll ever get to falling asleep cuddled up with you again.
Silver keeps a locket with your photo, tucked inside his shirt near his heart. He often touches it absentmindedly when lost in thought. Lilia, Sebek and Malleus worry about him, and while he remains gentle with them, there’s a sadness behind his smile. Silver believes you’re watching over him—so he tries to live a life you’d be proud of. It hurts. But that belief keeps him moving, one step at a time.
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Ruggie pretends he’s okay. He makes jokes, forces a grin, but those who know him well notice the cracks—he laughs less, steals less, works more. He throws himself into being useful cause if he stops moving, the grief catches up. The first time he’s alone after your funeral, he breaks down hard. Punches a wall. Screams into his jacket. It’s the only time he lets himself fall apart.
Ruggie doesn’t visit often at first—not because he doesn’t care, but because it hurts too much. When he does, he always brings something: your favorite snack, some charm from the Sunset Savanna, a scrap of cloth from a hoodie you loved. He never stays long. Just stands there, hands in his pockets, voice low: “Hey… bet you’re still yelling at me from wherever you are. I can hear it.… I miss it.”
Ruggie becomes fiercely protective of the few people he has left. He values life more now, but laughs a little less. He keeps your last voice message in Magicam saved and listens to it sometimes under the covers at night. When he sees something you would’ve loved at the market, he stops and stares for a moment—then keeps walking. The pain never really fades. But he carries it like everything else: close to his chest, never letting it show unless he’s completely alone.
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Azul is shattered, but he tries to intellectualize it. He tries to convince himself that grief can be processed in logical steps, denial, anger, bargaining. But that doesn’t stop him from breaking down in private, clutching the edge of his desk until his knuckles turn blue, trying to breathe through the panic of a world without you. He continues running the Mostro Lounge like nothing’s wrong. His smile is still polished. But behind the scenes? Azul can’t look at your favorite seat in the lounge without feeling like he’s drowning.
Azul dresses impeccably every time he visits your grave. It becomes a ritual He brings white roses, and small trinkets he made with his own hands. He kneels, brushing dust from your name. Sometimes his voice breaks. Sometimes he just sits in silence and lets the tears fall.
Azul spirals into overwork. He tries to fill the void you left with achievements, contracts—anything. But nothing is enough. He keeps your photo in the drawer of his desk, opens it during long nights, and murmurs to it like you’re still there. Jade and Floyd know. They say nothing, but keep a close eye on him. Azul never quite recovers. He simply learns how to live with a heart that echoes where your voice used to be.
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Jamil becomes frighteningly quiet. His grief is organized, sharp, disciplined—he doesn’t lash out, but everything about him becomes colder. Internally, he’s drowning in guilt. He feels responsible somehow. He replays everything over and over, looking for what he missed. He doesn’t cry in front of others. But late at night, he folds your old letters and clothes, tears soaking into his palms.
Jamil treats your grave like a shrine. Every week, he brings fresh desert roses, cleans the stone, and places small food offerings from his own cooking—your favorites, made exactly the way you liked them. He never talks to you there. Instead, he meditates in silence beside the grave. Maybe he believes the words are already in his heart, or maybe it just hurts too much to speak them aloud.
Jamil becomes obsessed with control—over his routine, his environment, his emotions. He starts studying harder, sleeping less, doing more. But it’s all a way to avoid facing the pain. He wears a bracelet you once gave him and never takes it off. On the anniversary of your death, he disappears from everyone for a full day. Only Kalim knows where he goes—and he never asks questions. Jamil's grief is silent, disciplined, and buried deep. But it never leaves him.
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Kalim doesn't understand it at first. He smiles, thinking you'll come through the door like always, calling his name. The reality doesn't hit until days later—when your laugh no longer echoes, when your perfume fades from his robes. Then he breaks. Not in fury, in grief so raw it silences even him. He curls up in bed, weeping into your favorite pillow, begging for it to be a dream
Kalim visits every week, rain or shine. He brings lavish flower arrangements, little handmade crafts, and occasionally food—things he learned to cook because you liked them. He talks a lot while sitting by your grave. Sometimes he cries. Other times, he smiles while telling stories, like he’s making sure your spirit is still included in his life.
Kalim throws himself into making others smile. If he can’t be happy, at least someone else can be. But deep down, there’s a hollowness. He wears a ring you once gave him—tells people it’s “for luck,” but it’s really a promise he’s trying to keep: To never forget you. Jamil ends up watching over him more carefully than ever. Kalim still laughs, still shines, but there’s a sadness behind it that never quite goes away
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Jade’s grief is clinical, almost surgical in how neatly he tucks it away from others. No one sees him cry. No one sees him falter. He mourns in silence, in isolation. He’ll continue his duties, serve in the Lounge, smile with those sharp teeth—but inside, he’s completely quietly broken. His calm becomes eerie because there’s no balance anymore. Not without you.
Jade visits your grave with ritualistic precision. Once a month, on the same day, at the same time. He brings rare mushrooms, a flower you loved... He speaks rarely, if at all. He stays until nightfall, then vanishes like he was never there.
Jade becomes more elusive. Even Floyd can’t always read him. Jade starts going into deeper and more dangerous places, almost like he’s looking for something he lost. He keeps your memory alive through action—keeping what you loved alive in the world. But he never talks about you unless someone dares to ask… and if they do, he just smiles. A sad, secret smile. “You wouldn’t understand.”
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mothhball · 1 year ago
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Beneath me
Pairing || professor!Jonathan Crane x student!Reader
Warnings || 18+ SMUT, NON-CON, DUB-CON, forced breeding, fingering, p in v sex, housewife kink(?), humiliation, dumbification, misogyny, unprotected sex, age gap (professor and student, everyone’s an adult), brief dacryphilia, condescending use of petnames, jon is a prick in this but gets better towards the end (if you squint hard enough)
Summary || The professor suspects you cheated on your exam, but you’re determined to prove him wrong.
Words || 3.7k
Notes || First ever fic and it’s smut because I love suffering. English isn’t my first language, so I hope everything makes sense. Please don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with anything mentioned in the warnings
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Afternoon lectures. The bane of many students’ existence, yours included. You’d been on campus since 9 am, trying to catch up on homework and study material for the most dreaded class of the day. Abnormal Psychology, presented by none other than Professor Jonathan Crane. Crane with his smart suits and piercing eyes. Crane with his condescending remarks and off-handed insults. Crane with his ridiculously handsome face and –
“Are you even listening to me?” The man in question is now standing in front of you, staring you down with narrowed eyes as his lips pull down into a frown. Yes, right. It’s 5 pm now, almost the end of the lecture and time to get your exam results back. You shake yourself out of your stupor, glancing down at the paper he left on your desk. But instead of a grade, you only see a bold red question mark which takes up almost a fourth of the entire first page. Crane clears his throat impatiently, and his mood sours more and more the longer he has to stand next to your seat.
“I said, you will meet me in my office after class. Is that understood? And I’d suggest you get your head in order until then,” he hisses, icy blue eyes filled with disdain. Your heart sinks, and you can feel the blood leaving your face as you manage to nod rather stiffly.
“Of course… Professor Crane, “ you murmur in reply, and upon hearing that, the professor quickly resumes his round around the lecture hall, handing back grades to your fellow students. As the first people pack up their things and begin to file out of the room, you slowly pack up as well. Your hands are cold from anxiety as you zip up your bag and get up from your seat. Meeting Professor Crane in his office was the last thing you wanted to do right now. The plan was to go home, grab takeout on the way and curl up in bed with a movie starring this forty-something year old actor you have the hots for. But God forbit anyone in Gotham wants to have a nice time.
Soon enough, you find yourself in Crane’s office, taking the seat in front of his desk and folding your hands in your lap to keep from fidgeting. The professor runs a hand through his hair, looking you over with a skeptical glare before he straightens his posture and gets to the point.
“I’m disappointed, shocked and quite frankly, I feel personally insulted.”
Your brows furrow, but before you can speak, he pulls out two stacks of paper, smacking them down on the desk. You quickly recognize one stack as a copy of your exam, but as you look over at the other, it feels like someone froze time for a moment. It’s someone else’s exam, but they wrote down the same answers. Not word for word, but in a way and structure that’s quite obviously plagiarized. Squinting at the name, you remember the guy sitting next to you, and anger bubbles up inside of your chest.
“He cheated off of me,” you mutter, trying to stay calm.
“Brennan said the same thing. Funny how that works, huh? And in case it went over your head, I don’t find it funny at all. But I will have to fail one of you. The question is, which one will it be?”
He takes his glasses off, gingerly setting the spectacles aside before he pinches the bridge of his nose. A little dramatic, but very much expected from him.
“Look, I’m not saying you were the one cheating off of Brennan,” He starts, sounding exhausted and absent at the same time. Like this is all beneath him. Like your future in his class has as much importance as the piece of lint he’s picking off of his sweater vest. “But there’s no real proof that he cheated off of you either. It’s a case of ‘he said, she said’. And it’s not like Brennan had much reason to cheat. He has had consistently good grades, whereas you-“
“I’ll prove it, “ you interrupt him without thinking, clenching your hands so tightly that your nails dig into the skin of your palms. Crane looks visibly taken aback, perplexed that you have the gall to intercept before he could expose your rather mediocre academic history in his class. You know you’re average. A face in the crowd; one of many names on an attendance sheet he barely pays attention to.
“I’ll prove it to you,” you repeat, swallowing dryly. Your mouth suddenly feels like you ate sand, and you really want to clear your throat, but you’ve done so thrice within the past five minutes, and you can tell it’s starting to piss him off. “Give me a chance, please. Please, Professor Crane. I know the material, I swear.”
Crane’s eyes briefly dart down to your lips, and his eyebrows furrow in thought before he nods slowly, thoughtfully. He’s making a show of it. Portraying himself as the generous teacher while you’re desperate for even the smallest chance of passing this goddamn class.
“Alright,” He sighs, and the weight seems to lift off of your shoulders. A smile begins to spread on your face, and –
 “Get out a pen. And paper. You’re going to write an essay.”
Eyebrows raised in confusion, you tilt your head a little. You almost feel stupid to ask.
“What, right now?”
“Of course, right now. At home, you’d get the chance to cheat again, wouldn’t you?”
Again. He’s still convinced you were the one to cheat on your exam. His tone is bitingly condescending and he doesn’t bother to elaborate further as he gets up from his chair to head over to the almost overflowing bookshelf next to his desk. You’re still sitting there, hands in your lap until he lets out an exasperated sigh, signaling for you to get a move on. Not wanting to incur even more of his wrath, you dig through your bag to get out a pen and some loose sheets of paper.
In the meantime, Crane has chosen a book from his shelf, and he’s wordlessly flipping through the pages until he lands on a fitting topic for an essay. He snaps the book shut and returns to his desk, fixing his tie as he nods to himself.
“Alright. I want 5 pages on fear conditioning. If you truly studied for the exam, this should be a piece of cake. If you didn’t, this will be an embarrassing little lecture you’re in dire need of learning.”
Your eyes widen, and you stammer for a moment, unable to find the words while staying respectful.
“That many? But it’s already –“
“Five-thirty pm? I hope you didn’t have any plans for tonight. And you should be grateful that I don’t have plans either. I’m staying late for your sake. Because you convinced me to give you a chance. I don’t have to do this, you know? I could just fail you and go home. So, I think a little gratitude would be more than appropriate.” There’s an odd expression in his eyes. Halfway between hunger and conflict. He’s usually so composed. You must really be testing his patience.
“Thank you, Prof –“ “Thank me by getting to it already.”
You nod meekly, grabbing the pen and beginning to jot down the date and your name in the corner of the first page. While you’re focused on the introduction part of your essay, you miss the way that Crane folds his hands on the desk, gripping so hard his knuckles turn white. His icy gaze is focused on every twitch of your muscles, every swoop of your handwriting, every time you softly bite your lips in thought. If only you’d look up. You’d see the way his jaw is set and his pupils expand. You’d realize the situation you’re in. A bunny with its neck in the jaws of the wolf.
You’re about two thirds done with the first page when he wheels his chair around the desk, closer to yours. Once his arm brushes against you, you pause to lift your gaze, looking at him with equal parts confusion and curiosity.
“Uhm… professor? What are you doing?”
“Checking on your progress,” Is his curt reply, but he leans in even closer, staring down at your half-baked essay. “Eyes on the paper.”
You comply, getting back to writing after a short second of sorting your thoughts. It’s more difficult to write with him basically breathing down your neck, and your heart skips a beat when he scoots even closer. Despite this, you keep on writing. Until his hand lands on your thigh.
You tense, looking up at him. Your lips part, and you’re about to say something before he speaks first.
“Eyes. On. The. Paper. We’re going to simulate a stressful, distracting environment. Not unlike a lecture hall during an exam. If you can keep your cool, I’ll know you didn’t cheat.”
You bite your lip, hesitating.
“Or I could fail you right now, and you’ll prove me and my suspicions right.”
Back to writing it is. Your hand is a little shakier during the next few sentences while the warmth of his fingers seeps through the fabric of your skirt into your skin. But you get back into the motions, almost able to ignore him until his hand flexes and begins to wander. A shiver runs down your spine as his touch slips underneath your skirt, feeling the soft flesh on the inside of your thigh.
“That’s it. Keep writing. Try to show me how smart you are.”
Crane’s voice is a snide whisper right next to your ear. His breath sends a shiver down your spine, but you keep your focus on the essay. Well, at least some of it. Once his fingers brush over the crotch of your panties, your breath hitches as heat builds in your core. But you can’t even get a word in.
“Run your mouth and your final grade drops to an F. You’re on my time now, understood? Not a fucking word to anyone or else a failed class will be the least of your worries.”
You’ve never heard him curse before. The man sitting beside you, the man with his hand under your skirt isn’t the professor you’ve known throughout the semester. No, at this point, the mask is slipping and the difference is startling. Crane pushes your skirt up with one hand and your legs apart with the other, letting out a low, appreciative hum at the sight of your wet panties.
“Fuck. You’re soaking through the lace, aren’t you? I didn’t even touch you yet… Are you always this easy? Almost adorable… Keep writing for me.”
His words make your ears burn with embarrassment, and you bite down on the inside of your cheek as you get back to your essay. It’s getting harder to think. Especially once his fingers slip underneath your panties, running between your glistening folds. Crane quickly finds your clit, rubbing circles into the sensitive bundle of nerves for a deliciously brief moment before he moves his hand further down to your entrance.
“Now you’re being grateful, hm? Is this what you were thinking about while everyone else was making an effort during my lectures? While everyone else was busy doing their work… you were getting worked up in your seat thinking about me. Thinking about me playing with your little cunt.”
The corners of his lips pull up into a self-satisfied grin as he plunges a finger inside of you, and you can’t help but let out a soft sigh of pleasure. You’re so wet that he’s not meeting any resistance from your sweet pussy, so he quickly adds a second one. The slick noises are obscene, and you duck your head in an attempt to hide your flushed face and focus on the essay, but it’s futile. You’re writing complete and utter nonsense at this point, and he knows it. Crane scoots his chair even closer, pressing up against your side as he works his fingers inside of you, caressing that spongy spot inside of you that makes your toes curl. As he looks over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of your writing, he scoffs out a laugh.
“Goodness, sweetie. That’s what your pretty little head managed to come up with so far? All this talk about wanting to prove yourself, and you deliver this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more pathetic attempt at an essay in all my years of teaching.”
Tears well up in your eyes at the harshness of his words, and the sight of it makes Crane’s cock harden in his slacks. He licks his lips, curling his fingers inside of you with a little more urgency as he leans in to whisper into the crook of your neck.
“Let out those noises. I guarantee they’re worth more than every brainless contribution you’ve ever made in my class.”
It’s an order, not a request, and you find yourself unable to keep quiet anymore as his thumb comes up to rub your clit again. Your wetness is starting to drip down onto the seat below you while you let out a breathy moan, and you begin to doubt yourself. Maybe you really are as empty-headed as he says. To your dismay, this thought only causes the tension in your core to build up even faster.
“There we go. Close to cumming from being fingered by your professor. You’re so needy, so eager for the slightest bit of attention. A toy that needs to be played with 24/7. Aren’t you ashamed?”
You let out another moan of pleasure and humiliation, clenching around his digits as he stretches you open. When did you forget how to speak?
“Trying to play in the big leagues while you’re just a dumb little fuckpet for my enjoyment,” he hisses, before he sinks his teeth into your earlobe, causing you to squeak. It hurts. But that’s the point. You’re so close to the edge, toes curling inside of your shoes. And then suddenly, he withdraws his hand. You catch a glimpse of his glistening fingers, and you turn your head just in time to watch him lick your juices off of them. He lets out a groan, satisfied by your taste.
“Get up. Hands on the desk.”
You scramble to get up, standing on wobbly legs as you bend over Crane’s desk. The professor wastes no time, grabbing onto your sopping wet panties and ripping them off of you. The fabric shreds beneath his hands, leaving your skin stinging where it cut slightly into the soft flesh of your thighs. Your skirt is flipped up, exposing your rear to him, and he moans out another sound of appreciation. His hands come up to grab onto the meat of your ass, spreading them apart to allow him a perfect view of your dripping cunt.
“Lord knows you’re not made for higher education.”
Crane leans in, licking a stripe up between your folds, and you bite down on a knuckle to keep in the pathetic moan that hangs on your lips. Your body is desperately begging you to just let him take what he wants from you, but your mind clings onto the last shred of dignity you have. When the sound of his belt being undone tears you from your thoughts, you turn your head, looking at him from over your shoulder.
“Wait –“ You start, suddenly struck by the reality of it all.
Crane chuckles at the expression of wide-eyed apprehension on your face.
“You’re not braindead already, are you? What did you think was going to be the logical conclusion of this? Of course, I’m going to bury my dick in you. Fuck, if you were this tight around my fingers, I can’t wait to feel you squeezing my cock….”
“No, I –“
“Shh, no need to worry. Judging by your essay, you don’t have the mental capacity anyway.”
Crane roughly grabs a fistful of your hair, pushing your head down until your cheek meets the wooden surface of his desk while he hurriedly unzips his slacks. He’s painfully hard at this point, straining against the fabric of his boxers, and he lets out a relieved hiss once he’s finally freed himself. He leans over you, pressing his weight into your back and aligning himself with your tight hole before he pushes his hips forward. You’re immobilized under him, squished against the desk as he fills you with his length. Crane’s lips find your pulse, licking and nibbling at your neck as he bottoms out inside of you, shuddering from the sensation of your plush walls around his cock.
“Good girl… you’re so wet. All for me, huh? Yes… just for me.” He moans through his teeth, leaning back a little to watch as your pussy stretches around him when he begins to slowly thrust into you. You let out a soft whine in response, not quite adjusted to him yet. But if you know anything about him at this point, it’s that he doesn’t care.
“I know, sweetheart, it’s a lot. Just relax – shh, shh, that’s it. You feel so good, squeezing me like a proper toy. All obedient and sweet… you really were built for this.“
He lifts his hand, landing a smack on your ass before he pulls out all the way and pushes back in, letting out a condescending laugh at the way you shiver. You can feel how deep he reaches, hitting every spot while he stretches you out with calculated thrusts. His pace begins to speed up, and his other hand wraps around your throat to keep you close as he pounds into you. Coherent thought becomes difficult for you, and even if you did want to say something, it’s suddenly made impossible when Crane pushes two fingers into your mouth, almost making you gag.
“Needy little thing. Bent over and babbling like a whore. But you -fuuuck - you take me so well, don’t you? All tight and sopping wet for my cock to stretch you out...”
He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, yanking you back by your hair to make you lift your torso up from the desk. The carefully crafted persona of a calm, reasonable Professor Dr. Jonathan Crane has completely slipped from his face now and shattered by his feet like Fine China. His hands move quickly, urgently as his rhythm begins to stutter. The fingers that are now soaked with your saliva make their way back between your legs to circle your clit while his other hand leaves your hair to tear open your blouse, sending the buttons flying everywhere.
His teeth find your neck again as he grabs at your chest, kneading your soft breasts as he marks you up. Hickeys, bruises, bite marks. He leaves them behind to claim. To own. Your climax hits you like a truck, knocking the air from your lungs as he fucks you through your orgasm, not faltering for a second. Stars fill your vision for a moment, and you’re only vaguely aware of the kisses that he’s pressing to your cheek. Your walls are clenching him tightly, causing him to curse under his breath.
Crane swallows heavily, rasping into your ear between shallow breaths.
“Tell you what… No more thinking about essays. In fact, I don’t want you to think ever again. No more exams… no more studies. As if you’d ever be someone of importance in this field to begin with. No, no… I won’t let you waste your time on a silly little Bachelor’s anymore... Fuckpets like you only need to be bred. I’m gonna be generous and fuck a child into you.”
Your eyes snap wide open, and even with your cock-drunken brain, you realize just how serious he is about this. In an attempt to get away, you begin to struggle in his grasp, but he replies by kicking your legs further apart, forcing you down against the desk again. The wooden edge digs against your thighs, keeping your hips in place for him as he plows you into the piece of furniture. Your cheek is pressed up against your unfinished essay, reminding you of your failure on all accounts as you drool onto the paper.
Your hands are clawing at the desk, trying to find purchase when his own hands find yours, linking your fingers together in a frighteningly intimate gesture. Crane continues to moan your name, pressing his face into the crook of your neck before he pushes his cock as deep as he can into your poor cunt, filling you with his hot cum. He lazily rocks his hips back and forth a few more times, trying to push in his load as far as he can before he finally stills, panting against your skin. He stays on your back for another few moments, breathing in your scent and idly squeezing your hands with his.
Once his breathing has evened out once more, he straightens up, kissing the top of your head before he pulls out. Crane watches as his seed drips out of you, a glint of amusement and possessiveness in his eyes as he pushes it back into you with two fingers. You feel completely boneless, crumpled on the desk as you try to make sense of what happened and what will happen. The silence doesn’t last long before Crane speaks up again.
“In the morning, you’ll make me breakfast, and in the evening, you’ll cream on my cock. Like a proper little housewife. And I’ll get to see your tits swell and your belly expand as our kid grows inside of you,” He muses, running his hands over your shoulders and down your back, a gesture that’s more meant to ground himself than it is meant to soothe you.
His voice is soft, yet eerily determined. A man that’s planning the future out loud. Unbeknownst to you, he’s reaching into his suit pocket behind you, pulling out a small syringe filled with a clear liquid.
“And if you get bored again and your mind starts to wander, I’ll knock you up again and again until you know your place. Face down, ass up. Beneath me.”
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kirlicues · 2 months ago
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The Old Country Church | CC-Free Sims 2 Community Lot Download
The old, 1800's style country church has weathered the test of time and, despite it's age, is still is as solid as the messages that have been shared from the pulpit. It's built on a 5x5 community lot.
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It's over-all simplicity stands in stark contrast to more ornate architecture, but it is this humble structure, reminiscent of a purer time of faith, that stands as a testament to scriptural truths.
Let's take a tour of the place!
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Joy. Laughter. Tears. Weddings, funerals, picnics on the lawn, and baptisms in the lake--all the memories that have meant so much--have happened here in this peaceful country setting. It's a place for friends to gather, caring words to be spoken, and a base for larger community outreach.
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This landmark is surrounded by trees, and old nature trails that meander through the woods. It's the perfect place to hear the birds sing, sit by the water reading the Good Book, and to remember where the true meaning of life comes from.
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Right now the old church is dressed up for a wedding, but you can remove the arch and flower decorations for a more authentic feel.
This lot is CC-free which is why the podium is one of the career reward objects. You can find a buyable version without the cringy teleprompter screens in this set over on Mod the Sims because being a minster should never be about the money or charismatic personalities.
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Congregational singing with instruments was just starting to become popular in the 1800's. Many old churches did not have a piano or organ, but I've added the piano and violin to this lot to give some more interest to the front platform.
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The balcony is a lovely place to sit and listen to the beautiful acoustics, and appreciate the rustic beams that make up the upper part of the roof.
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The bell tower is empty since there is not anything comparable in the game. You can find a very simple bell at the end of this thread on Mod the Sims if you'd like to put one in.
I built this lot based on historical pictures of churches from the 1800's. This version is a bit larger than most of that era. A lot of the churches at the time did not have anything more than a main sanctuary area, but I've included bathrooms for convenience's sake.
1st Floor: On this level there are bathrooms, and the main sanctuary.
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2nd Floor: There's a balcony near the bottom of the image, the rest of the level is open to the sanctuary below.
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The Old Country Church MF | SFS
This lot is CC-Free, but All EPs and SPs are required.
I’ve run this lot through the Lot Compressor so any random references to sims that aren’t there should be removed. I have also run it through the Lot Cleaner to remove any bits of buggy code. This lot comes with a shiny custom thumbnail so it has even more curb appeal in your Lots and Houses bin! 😄
Default Replacements Shown: Purple Lupin shrub from @peppermint-ginger If you don’t have these in your game your Lupin will be blue.
I ALWAYS recommend using the Sims 2 Pack Clean installer to install lot files.
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aealzx · 4 months ago
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Wachowski Family House Fan Layout (Sonic Movie Universe)
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Hi 8'D I was writing a Sonic fic and couldn't keep the house layout straight in my head. So I hyperfixated for like 30-40 hours over the course of 3 days and recreated some semblance of the Wachowski family home based on screenshots and watching scenes on Youtube. Repeatedly. 8 |
And since maybe people don't want to do the same, I figured I'd share. X'D Please keep in mind this layout is NOT canon, and no one should use it to try and prove of disprove anything. It's just what I ended up with based on what I could find, and figure out despite the inconsistencies within the movies themselves.
Details all under the cut. And if you want to see the SketchUp model itself I think this link might work. I've never actually tried to share SketchUp models before.
Sorry these files are MASSIVE, but eh, I'm too lazy to break them down smaller at this point.
Exterior:
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1st Floor:
This is the only floor I could find scenes for. So everything started from here, and is based on fitting in with this floor. Talking with my sister (aka complaining to her) I found out that the house was most likely renovated before Sonic lived there. That's why they have this random floating closet next to the entrance. It probably has to be there to support the structure after a bunch of the walls were knocked out to convert to a more open floorplan.
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2nd Floor:
This floor is entirely made up by me 8'D Feel free to completely redesign it to fit your fancy. Everything is based on window placement, with the master bedroom being at the front because that's the biggest window.
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Attic:
This was actually hard to place, because it could be argued that the attic is above the living room area. Especially since there's scenes that have a chimney column going through the attic. But I decided to put it above the kitchen based on that skylight window that Sonic is seen running into (that totally isn't round in that shot, but okay), and because the living room looks to have a high ceiling with nothing above it. Also I could not figure out how to get the attic stairs to work with the 1st to 2nd floor stairs also being on that side of the house.
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natsaffection · 10 months ago
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Ohh an idea 💡 in my head and I know you are perfect to write this, basically reader is working at a company that is run by bad guys but doesn't know it, so natasha is sent on a mission to get close to her and gather Intel, so couple weeks pass and reader finds out in the most distraught way which causes her to end everything with Natasha but still have a good heart decides to give everything natasha needs to take down the company, (happy ending or sad ending either works) 💝
Showing everything. | N.R
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Warnings: Just Angst?
Word count: 8,4k
A/n: I'm so grateful every time I finish a Ask that's been on my list for weeks. So thank you for your patience each time. 🫶🏼
You had always dreamed of finding a job where you could make a difference in the world, but you never thought it would come in the form of an elegant office in the heart of New York City. The building, a towering glass structure shimmering in the sunlight, housed one of the city's most prestigious companies. Kinetica Industries. They were known for their groundbreaking technology and humanitarian efforts, advancing medical equipment and energy supply that had revolutionized the industry. It was a dream job, almost impossible to turn down.
You stumbled upon the opportunity by chance. A late night scrolling through endless job listings led you to Kinetica's website. The company was looking for someone with your exact skills: data analysis and project management. The job description was vague but intriguing. Analyzing trends, managing large datasets, coordinating with various departments. It sounded challenging yet rewarding, the kind of opportunity you needed to prove yourself. The application process was quick, almost too quick. A few online assessments, a virtual interview with a charming man who headed your department, and within a week, you were offered the job. They said they were impressed by your resume, your background in bioinformatics, and your impeccable reputation. The salary was more than generous, with benefits that seemed almost too good to be true. But eager to start fresh and leave the stagnation of your previous job behind, you didn't question it further. You accepted immediately.
Your first day was a whirlwind of activity. The office itself was as impressive as the building's exterior. Elegant, modern, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a panoramic view of the city. The air buzzed with innovation, with teams of people tirelessly working on the next big thing. You were given a tour, introduced to your colleagues. Bright, motivated people who all seemed to share your enthusiasm for the work. Your role was exactly as described, but with a small twist. You were part of a special project they called "The Initiative." It involved collecting and analyzing data from various sources to create predictive models that could be used for everything from disease prevention to energy distribution. It sounded noble, and you were thrilled to be part of something that could change the world.
But as you settled into your new role, you couldn't help but notice the layers of secrecy surrounding certain aspects of your work. Some files were restricted, accessible only with special clearance. Occasionally, your requests for specific datasets were met with vague answers or outright refusal. But whenever doubts arose, you reminded yourself that every company had its secrets, especially one as influential as Kinetica.
Meanwhile, in a dimly lit office in the underground levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, Natasha Fury sat across from you, the tension in the air almost palpable. "Romanoff," Fury began, his single eye piercing through the twilight, "we have a problem. Kinetica Industries." Natasha leaned back in her chair, arms crossed. "The tech company? They've been on our radar for a while, haven't they?"
"They have." Fury confirmed. "But new intel suggests they're more than just a tech company. We believe they're a front for something far more dangerous. We suspect they're involved in illegal arms trading, possibly even human experimentation. But we need proof." Natasha nodded, understanding where this was going. "And that's where I come in."
"Exactly. We've identified someone on the inside, Y/N Y/L/N. She's new, only started about a week ago. As far as we can tell, she's clean. No criminal record, no ties to any organizations. She's the perfect target to infiltrate." Natasha leaned forward, studying the file Fury slid across the table. Your face stared back at her from the photo clipped to the top of the file, a bright smile, eyes full of hope. Natasha couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, but she pushed it aside. This was a mission, and she had a job to do.
"What's the plan?" she asked, flipping through the file. "You'll go undercover as someone with a similar background, a data analyst, someone they might hire if the current employee doesn't work out. Your task is to gain her trust, find out what Y/n knows. If she's innocent, she might unknowingly be sitting on crucial information. If not.."
"I'll find out," Natasha finished, her voice cold and determined. Fury nodded, satisfied. "We need to act fast. Every day we wait is another day Kinetica could move their operations. I'm counting on you, Romanoff." Natasha stood up, tucking the file under her arm. "I won't let you down."
As she left Fury's office, her thoughts were already spinning with possibilities, strategies, and the cool detachment that came with every undercover mission. She knew this wouldn't be easy. You were innocent, or at least you seemed to be. But Natasha had learned the hard way that appearances could be deceiving. Her mission was clear: get close to you, gather the information, and expose Kinetica for what they really were. But as she prepared to step into your world, Natasha couldn't shake the feeling that this mission would become more complicated than she anticipated.
Your first weeks at Kinetica Industries were a whirlwind of new faces, complex datasets, and an overwhelming amount of information. You were slowly getting used to the office routine when you heard about the new hire. Natalie Rushman, as she was introduced, joined the team on a bright Monday morning. You first heard about her during the daily briefing. Your department head mentioned that Natalie was hired to assist with data analysis, given the increasing workload from "The Initiative."
"I want you to show her the ropes." Your boss said, his tone implying it was not a request. "She has a similar background to you, and I think you two will work well together." You nodded, trying to hide the concern you felt about being responsible for training someone so soon after starting yourself. You hadn't fully mastered your own tasks yet, and now you were supposed to mentor someone else? But you forced a smile and agreed, hoping that Natalie would be as easygoing as she seemed in her brief introduction.
It wasn't until later in the morning that you finally met her. You were in the office kitchen, struggling with the intricate espresso machine that seemed designed to torment anyone who wasn't a seasoned barista. You had managed to spill coffee grounds everywhere when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.
You turned around and saw Natalie standing there, a slight smile on her lips. Her red hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, and she wore a white blouse and tailored black pants that made her look effortlessly professional. "Need some help?" Natalie asked, her voice warm and slightly amused. You laughed, embarrassed to be caught in the middle of your coffee disaster. "I think this machine was designed by someone who hates caffeine addicts."
Natalie stepped forward, gently nudging you aside. "Mind if I give it a try? I've had my fair share of battles with these things."
"Be my guest." you replied gratefully, stepping back. Natalie moved with practiced ease, quickly coaxing the machine into cooperation and brewing two perfect cups of espresso. She handed you one, which you accepted with a wide grin. "You're a lifesaver." you said, taking a sip. The coffee was perfectm. Rich, smooth, and exactly what you needed to get through the rest of the day. "I'm Y/n, by the way. I'm supposed to show you around today."
"Natalie." she replied, her smile deepening. "And I appreciate the help. The first days are always a bit overwhelming."
"Don't I know it.." you said, rolling your eyes playfully. "I'm still trying to figure out where half the supplies are kept around here." Natalie laughed, a genuine but slightly guarded sound, as if she was still feeling out her new environment. "I'm sure we'll figure it out together. So, what exactly are we working on?" You began explaining the project to her, giving her an overview of "The Initiative" and what your roles would be. As you spoke, you noticed that Natalie was a good listener, nodding at the right moments and asking insightful questions. It was clear she knew what she was talking about, and you felt a little more at ease, knowing you weren't dealing with a complete novice.
"So," Natalie said as you walked back to the office with your coffees in hand, "what made you decide to work here?" You shrugged, trying to put your thoughts into words. "I guess I wanted to be part of something bigger, you know? Kinetica is doing some amazing things..or at least that's what they tell us. It's nice to think that the work we're doing here might actually make a difference."
Natalie nodded thoughtfully, as if considering her own reasons for being here. "I can understand that. It's nice to feel like what you're doing matters." You arrived at your desk, which was temporarily doubling as Natalie's workspace until hers was ready. You showed her how to log into the system, where to find the files she needed, and how to navigate the company's complex database. As you worked together, you noticed how quickly Natalie picked everything up. She seemed almost too proficient, as if she knew the system better than someone on their first day should. But you brushed the thought aside, some people were just quick learners, you thought.
The day passed smoothly, with the two of you working side by side and getting to know each other in small increments between tasks. Natalie was friendly but reserved, sharing just enough about herself to seem open without giving too much away. You found that you liked your new colleague, appreciating her calm demeanor and quick mind.
By the end of the day, you had made significant progress on your tasks, and you were starting to feel a sense of camaraderie with Natalie. As you prepared to leave, you turned to her with a smile. “Thanks for today, Natalie. You made my job a lot easier.” Natalie returned the smile, her green eyes sparkling in the fading daylight. “The feeling is mutual. I think we’re going to make a great team.” You nodded, feeling a warmth in your chest that you hadn’t expected. Maybe this new job wouldn’t be so overwhelming after all..
In the weeks that followed, the bond between you and Natalie deepened, evolving from a close friendship into something more intense, something charged. There was a tension between you that neither of you could ignore, a pull that grew stronger with every shared glance, every lingering touch. You had danced around your feelings for each other for a while, but the unspoken words were becoming harder to bear.
One evening, after another long day at the office, you found yourselves alone in the break room once again. The city lights cast a soft glow through the windows, the hum of the air conditioning the only sound breaking the silence. You sat closer than usual, your shoulders touching as you picked at the remnants of a shared dinner. Your heart raced, the proximity making it difficult to focus on anything other than the warmth of Natalie’s body next to yours.
“Natalie..” you began hesitantly, “I need to tell you something.” Natalie looked up from her food, her green eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that took your breath away. “What is it?”
You took a deep breath, gathering your courage. “I..I’ve been trying to understand these feelings I have for you.. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone I work with, but I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I care about you, Natalie. More than just as a friend.” The words hung heavy in the air between you, filled with the weight of their honesty. You watched Natalie closely, searching her face for any sign of rejection or discomfort. But what you saw instead was a softening in her expression, a warmth that she hadn’t fully shown before.
“Y/n,” Natalie said softly, reaching out to take your hand, “I feel the same way. I’ve tried to keep my distance, to stay professional, but..I can’t help it. I love you.” Your heart leaped at her confession, your pulse quickening as the truth settled between you. “You.. you love me?”
Natalie nodded, her thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “Yes, I do. And I’ve been so scared of what that means, but I can’t deny it any longer. I love you, Y/n.” The relief that washed over you was almost overwhelming, and without thinking, you leaned in and pressed your lips to Natalie’s in a kiss that was soft, tentative, and filled with all the emotions you had both been holding back.
Natalie responded immediately, her hand coming up to cup your cheek as she deepened the kiss, letting all her unspoken feelings flow into it. It was a moment of pure connection, where nothing else existed but the two of you and the love you shared. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to process what had just happened.
“I can’t believe this is real..” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “It is,” Natalie murmured, her eyes shining with affection. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
For a moment, everything felt perfect. But as the warmth of the moment began to fade, a sharp pang of guilt pierced Natasha’s heart. She had just confessed her love to you, but the truth was far more complicated than she could admit. She wasn’t just Natalie Rushman, a data analyst who had fallen for her colleague..she was Natasha Romanoff, a spy sent to gather information from the woman she had just professed her love to.
As you sat there, your hand still in hers, Natasha knew she was at a crossroads. She had sworn to get the information she needed, to complete the mission no matter what. But now, with the thought of betraying you, her stomach twisted with guilt. “Y/n,” Natasha began, her voice heavy with what she was about to say, “I want us to be completely honest with each other. Totally honest. I need to know..is there anything about our project, about Kinetica, that seems strange to you? Anything that doesn’t add up?”
You frowned slightly, confused by the sudden change in topic. “What do you mean?” Natasha hesitated, hating herself for what she had to do, but knowing she had no choice. “I’ve just..noticed a few things that don’t quite fit. Some files that are restricted, some data that doesn’t quite match up. I thought maybe you’d noticed it too.” Your brow furrowed as you thought back over the past few months. “Well, there have been a few things that seemed odd, but I just figured it was part of working at such a high-level company. Why do you ask?”
Natasha swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep up the pretense. “I’m just worried, that’s all. I want to make sure we’re not missing anything important.” You nodded slowly, still puzzled but trusting Natalie’s concern. “I’ll keep an eye out, and if I notice anything, I’ll let you know. But..can we not talk about work right now? I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”
Natasha’s heart clenched at your words, the guilt threatening to overwhelm her. She had just used your moment of vulnerability to fish for information, and the realization made her feel sick. But she forced herself to push the guilt aside, to focus on the mission, even as it tore her apart inside. “Of course.” Natasha said softly, pulling you closer and kissing you again, trying to lose herself in the warmth and love she felt for you.
Weeks passed, and the bond between you and Natalie grew even deeper. Your relationship had blossomed into something beautiful, a refuge in the midst of the high-pressure jobs at Kinetica Industries. You spent as much time together as possible..dinners, quiet nights with movies, and long walks through the city. For you, it felt like you had finally found someone who understood you, someone you could trust completely. But for Natasha, the lines between her mission and her feelings for you were becoming increasingly blurred.
The guilt Natasha felt was a constant companion, gnawing at her whenever she saw your trusting smile or felt the warmth of your hand in hers. Natasha knew she was deceiving you, but every time she considered telling you the truth, the weight of her duty as an agent held her back. She had a job to do, and despite her feelings, she couldn’t abandon it.
One evening, after a particularly long day at the office, you invited Natasha to your place. You were behind on some work and needed to finish a report for the next day, but you didn’t want to miss out on spending time with Natalie. Natasha agreed, glad for any excuse to spend more time with you.
Your apartment was cozy and inviting, filled with the little details Natasha had come to love. Bookshelves overflowing with novels, a small collection of plants by the window, and a few framed photos of you with your family. You settled together on the couch, you with your laptop and Natasha with a book she had picked from your shelf. “I’m sorry I have to work tonight..” you said, giving Natasha an apologetic smile. “I just need to finish this report, and then I’m all yours.”
“Don’t worry.” Natasha replied with a smile of her own. “I’m just happy to be here with you. Take your time.” As you focused on your work, Natasha found herself watching you more than reading the book in her hands. The way your brow furrowed slightly when you were deep in thought, the absent-minded way you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. All of it made Natasha’s heart ache with affection and guilt. But as much as she wanted to lose herself in these feelings, Natasha couldn’t forget why she was there. This was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. Your work might hold the key to the information S.H.I.E.L.D. needed, and Natasha had to take advantage of it, no matter how much it tore her up inside.
After about an hour, you stood up and stretched, yawning. “I need to make some tea. Want anything?”
Natasha nodded her head, giving you a reassuring smile. “This would be grate.” As you disappeared into the kitchen, Natasha’s heart pounded in her chest. This was her chance. She had to act quickly. She set the book aside and moved quietly to your laptop. The screen was still on, showing the report you were working on, but Natasha’s focus was on the folders and files scattered across the desktop. She opened one labeled “Project Data” her hands trembling slightly as she navigated through the documents.
Natasha scanned the files, her sharp eyes searching for anything that stood out or seemed significant. Most of the documents were routine. Xatasets, project reports, emails. But then she found something: a file titled “Confidential Research Notes.”
Her heart raced as she opened it and found a series of notes detailing experiments and datasets that she hadn’t seen before. It was more detailed than anything you had shown her at work, and as Natasha read through it, she realized it contained the kind of information S.H.I.E.L.D. had been looking for..details about Kinetica’s involvement in potentially illegal research, experiments that crossed ethical boundaries.
She heard the clink of a teacup in the kitchen, and panic surged through her. Quickly, Natasha copied the file onto a USB stick she had hidden in her bag. She had just closed the file when you returned, carrying twocups of tea. “Here you go.” you said with a smile, handing one of the cups to Natasha. “Thanks.” Natasha replied, taking the cup with slightly trembling hands and praying that you hadn’t noticed anything unusual.
You settled back down on the couch, taking a sip of your tea and letting out a contented sigh. “The report is almost done. After that, we can watch the movie you mentioned.” Natasha forced a smile, trying to push down the gnawing guilt and the tight knot in her stomach. “That sounds great.”
As you returned to your work, Natasha tried to relax, but the weight of what she had just done loomed over her. She had gathered the information she needed, but at the cost of betraying your trust. For the rest of the evening, Natasha was distant, her mind racing with thoughts of what would happen next.
You noticed the change in her demeanor and reached out to touch her arm, concern evident in your eyes. “Hey, is everything okay?” Natasha looked into your eyes, feeling her heart ache. “Yeah, I’m just..tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.”
You smiled gently and squeezed her arm. “I get it. We’ve both been working so hard lately. Let’s just relax tonight, okay? No more work, just us.” Natasha nodded, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Just us.” she repeated, her voice hollow. As you both snuggled up on the couch to watch the movie, Natasha tried to focus on the moment, to lose herself in the warmth of your presence. But no matter how hard she tried, the guilt and the knowledge of what she had done weighed heavily on her.
The following days were filled with an unbearable tension for Natasha. She knew she had to pass the information to S.H.I.E.L.D., but she dreaded what would happen when the truth came out. The time she spent with you, the smiles, the laughter, all felt tainted by the lie she was living. Finally, the day came when Natasha couldn’t put it off any longer. She knew she had to deliver the USB drive to S.H.I.E.L.D. The mission needed to be completed, but the thought of what that would mean for your relationship was almost too much to bear.
That evening, as you sat together at your kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you as you worked on another report, Natasha made her decision. She had to do this, even though it meant risking everything with you. But before she could leave, something happened that changed everything.
You called Natasha over, a confused look on your face. “Nat, can you look at something for me? This report doesn’t make sense.” Natasha’s heart skipped a beat, but she kept her expression neutral. “Sure, what’s going on?” she asked, walking over to the table.
You pointed at the screen, your brow furrowed in confusion. “I just got this email from my boss, and he attached this report. It’s about a security breach at Kinetica. They’re trying to figure out who accessed some confidential files..” Natasha’s blood ran cold, but she kept her voice steady. “A security breach? What files are they talking about?”
You scrolled through the report, your frown deepening. “It doesn’t say exactly, but it has something to do with our project. They’ve narrowed down the list of suspects, but I don’t recognize most of the names..except for one.”
You paused, your eyes widening as you focused on a name in the list: Natasha Romanoff.
“Natasha Romanoff?” you whispered, confusion and disbelief clear in your voice. You looked up at Natasha, searching her face for answers. “Wait, is that you? Is this some kind of mistake?”
Natasha felt the walls closing in on her. There was no more hiding, no more pretending. The truth was out, and there was no going back. “Y/n,” she began, her voice trembling, “I need you to listen to me.” You took a step back, fear and suspicion creeping into your eyes. “What do you mean?” you asked, your voice shaking.
Natasha’s heart broke at the sight of the fear in your eyes. “I’m still the same person, Y/n. I’m still me. But..I haven’t been honest with you.” Your hands shook as you hugged yourself, desperately trying to understand what was happening. “Who are you? Have you been lying to me this whole time?”
Tears welled up in Natasha’s eyes as she took a hesitant step toward you, but you flinched and stepped back. “Please, let me explain..” Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. “My real name is Natasha Romanoff. I’m an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I was sent here to gather information on Kinetica. But everything else..everything between us..it was real. My feelings for you, Y/n, are real.”
Your eyes darted around the room as if searching for something familiar, something to hold onto. But everything felt wrong. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a stranger. “You used me?” you asked, your voice trembling with anger and fear. “You used me the whole time?”
“No!” Natasha said quickly, desperation creeping into her voice. “It started as a mission, yes, but I never meant to fall in love with you. I never wanted to hurt you. Please, Y/n, you have to believe me.” You shook your head, backing away until you hit the wall. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know who you are. Natasha Romanoff, S.H.I.E.L.D.… it sounds like something out of a Movie..”
Natasha’s heart shattered as she watched you crumble before her. She took a tentative step closer, her hands shaking. “I’m still the person you fell in love with, Y/n. I’m still the person who loves you more than anything. Please, let me explain everything.” You stared at Natasha, your heart breaking all over again. “You should have told me the truth from the beginning! But you didn’t. You lied to me, and now..now I don’t even know who you are..”
Natasha took another step forward, reaching out tentatively. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I know I’ve hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I’m begging you, please give me a chance to make it right.” You looked down at Natasha’s outstretched hand, but the fear and betrayal in your heart were too overwhelming. You couldn’t bring yourself to take it. “I can’t..” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I can’t do this. I need you to leave.”
Natasha’s heart broke at your words, but she knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, not now. “Y/n, I-”
“Just go!” you cried, your voice filled with agony. “Please, just go. I can’t look at you right now.” Natasha’s hands fell to her sides, her shoulders slumping as the weight of what she had done crashed down on her. She had lost you, and there was nothing she could do to fix it. But as much as it hurt, she knew she had to respect your wishes.
“I’m so sorry..” Natasha whispered, tears streaming down her face. “I love you, Y/n. I’ll always love you.” Without another word, Natasha turned and left your apartment, the door closing behind her with a finality that echoed through the empty space. You stood there, frozen, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces as the truth of Natasha’s betrayal washed over you. The apartment that once felt like a safe haven now felt cold and empty, the warmth of Natasha’s presence gone, replaced by a suffocating sense of loss. You slid down the wall, pulling your knees to your chest as your body shook with sobs. The woman you loved, the woman you trusted, was a lie, and you didn’t know if you could ever trust anyone again.
Hours passed, and eventually, your tears dried up, leaving you with a hollow feeling inside. But despite the pain, you couldn’t ignore the truth that Natasha had revealed. Kinetica was involved in something dangerous, something that needed to be stopped. And despite everything, you knew you couldn’t just walk away.
Slowly, you got to your feet, your resolve hardening. You would do what needed to be done, not for Natasha, but because it was the right thing to do. You walked over to your laptop and opened the files you had been working on. With a heavy heart, you gathered everything you knew about Kinetica’s activities, your hands shaking as you worked. The information you collected could help bring the company down, but it came at the cost of everything you believed in, everything you felt.
When you finished, you copied the files onto a USB stick and set it on the table. You stared at it for a long time, your thoughts filled with memories of the woman you thought you knew, the woman you loved. Finally, you took a deep breath and reached for your phone. You hesitated for a moment before dialing the number Natasha had given you, the one you were supposed to use only in an emergency.
Natasha answered on the first ring, her voice thick with emotion. “Y/n?”
“I have the information you need.” you said, your voice firm despite the storm of emotions raging inside you. “It’s on a USB stick. I’ll leave it at the café near my apartment tomorrow morning. You can pick it up there.”
“Y/n, please, can we talk-” Natasha began, but you cut her off.
“There’s nothing more to say.” you said quietly. "That's it, Natasha. After this, we're done. Don't contact me again."
A long silence followed on the other end of the line, and you could hear the pain in Natasha's voice when she finally spoke. "Thank you. I'm so sorry. For everything."
You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to keep your emotions under control. "Goodbye, Natasha."
The mission was over. Kinetica Industries had been exposed, its leaders arrested, and the illegal activities shut down. Natasha had completed her assignment, but the victory felt hollow. As the dust settled, she could only think about you, how she had lost you and how desperate she was to make things right.
Days turned into weeks, and the absence of you in Natasha's life became unbearable. The empty silence in her apartment echoed the emptiness in her heart. She replayed the last conversation she had with you over and over in her mind, haunted by the pain in your voice, the cold finality of your words. Natasha knew she had no right to ask for forgiveness, but she couldn't live with the thought that you hated her, that the love you had shared was now just a memory tainted by lies. After much deliberation, Natasha decided she had to try one last time to explain herself and apologize in person. She knew it was a long shot..you had made it clear you didn't want to see her again but Natasha couldn't leave things the way they were. She had to try.
One evening, just as the sun was setting, Natasha made her way to your apartment. The familiar building loomed before her, but this time it felt different..colder, more intimidating. She hesitated at the entrance, her heart pounding in her chest. What if you refused to listen? What if you called the police before she even had a chance to say anything? But she knew she couldn't turn back now. She took a deep breath, entered the building, and walked to your door. She stood there for a long moment, gathering her thoughts before she finally raised her hand and knocked softly.
There was a long pause, and Natasha's heart sank as she imagined you ignoring her, refusing to even open the door. But then she heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened a crack, revealing your wary eyes. Your expression shifted from surprise to anger as soon as you saw Natasha. Your hand tightened around the doorknob, and you narrowed your eyes. "What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice cold and hard.
"Y/n, please, I just want to talk." Natasha said quickly, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I know I don't deserve it, but I need to explain-" You cut her off, your voice sharp with anger. "Explain? There's nothing left to explain, Natasha. You lied to me, used me, and now you have the nerve to show up at my door?"
"Please.." Natasha pleaded, her voice breaking. "Give me five minutes." Your eyes flashed with a mix of anger, pain, and something else that Natasha couldn't quite place. You hesitated, your hand still gripping the doorknob as if you were weighing whether to slam the door in her face. "If you don't leave right now." you said, your voice trembling with barely suppressed emotion, "I'll call the police."
Natasha felt her heart sink, but she didn't move. She knew you were serious, but she also knew that if she walked away now, she would never have another chance to make things right. "Do it." Natasha said quietly, "Call them if you want. But please, hear me out first. I need to show you how sorry I am. I know I can't undo what I've done, but I can't live with myself if I don't at least try to apologize."
You stared at Natasha, your hand shaking as you gripped the doorknob. The pain in your eyes was unmistakable, and it broke Natasha's heart to see how much she had hurt you. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Finally, you let out a shaky breath and loosened your grip on the doorknob. "You have five minutes," you said, "But if you lie to me again, I swear I'll call the police."
Natasha nodded, relief washing over her even though she knew this was only a small victory. "Thank you." she whispered, stepping back as you opened the door just enough to let her in. You led Natasha into the living room, a space that had once felt warm and inviting but now felt cold and distant. You gestured for Natasha to sit on the sofa, but you remained standing, arms crossed over your chest as you waited for her to speak.
"Okay," Natasha began, her voice trembling, "I know I've hurt you in a way I can never fully apologize for. I deceived you and betrayed your trust. But I need you to know that every moment I spent with you, every touch, every word I said to you, was real. My feelings for you are real." Your eyes flashed with anger, and you shook your head. "How am I supposed to believe that? You're a trained spy. Lying is part of your job."
"I know.." Natasha said, her voice breaking slightly. "And that's why I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve it. But I couldn't leave things the way they were. I couldn't let you believe that everything between us was just part of the mission. It wasn't. You became the most important person in my life, and I was so scared of losing you."
"Then why didn't you tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice trembling with pent-up emotion. "Why did you wait until I had to find out this way?" Natasha swallowed hard, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I was a coward. I didn't want to lose you, and I thought that if I could just finish the mission, maybe..just maybe we could have a life together afterward. But I was wrong. I should have been honest with you from the start."
You shook your head, tears filling your eyes as well. "You should have. But you didn't. And now I don't know if I can ever trust you again." A tear rolled down Natasha's cheek, but she made no move to wipe it away. "I understand." she said softly. "I know I've broken your trust, and I have to live with that. I just wanted you to know that I love you, Y/n. I will always love you. And if you never want to see me again, I'll respect that. But please don't think that I didn't care about you, because I do."
You looked away, blinking back tears. "You should go, Natasha. There's nothing more to say." Natasha nodded, her heart breaking all over again. "I'm sorry." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "For everything."
Without another word, Natasha turned and walked to the door, her steps heavy with the weight of the finality of the situation. She paused in the doorway, casting one last look at you, hoping to find something..anything that might suggest there was still a chance for you both. But your expression remained cold and distant, your eyes avoiding hers. With a heavy heart, Natasha opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. The door clicked shut behind her with a soft thud that echoed in the silence that followed. Natasha stood there for a moment, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. She had tried, but it was over. You were right. There was nothing more to say.
Unknown to you, the case of Kinetica’s downfall was far from over. The company’s leaders were desperately trying to cover their tracks, attempting to salvage what they could. But amid the chaos, they discovered something alarming: You, one of their employees, had been the one to pass on the damning information that had led to their downfall. And now they wanted revenge.
You were alone in your apartment one evening, your thoughts drifting as you tried to focus on the book you were reading. The quiet was soothing, a respite from the whirlwind of emotions you had been grappling with. But that peace was abruptly shattered by a sudden, insistent knocking at your door. Frowning, you set the book aside and walked to the door, peering through the peephole. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw two men standing outside, men you didn’t recognize, but something about their presence immediately set off alarm bells in your head.
“Who is it?” you called out, trying to keep your voice steady despite the unease rising within you. “Delivery.” one of the men said, but there was no package in sight, and his tone was too cold, too rehearsed.
Your instincts kicked in, and you stepped away from the door, your heart racing. These weren’t delivery men..they were here for something else, something far more sinister. Panic gripped you as you realized that Kinetica must have found out what you had done. Just as you were about to reach for your phone, the door burst open with a loud crash, the two men forcing their way in. You screamed and stumbled back, your thoughts racing with fear and desperation. But before they could reach you, another figure appeared in the doorway, moving with deadly precision. Natasha.
She had been keeping an eye on your apartment since your last conversation, knowing that Kinetica might try something. When she saw the men approaching your building, she knew immediately what their target was and she wasn’t going to let them harm you. “Get away from her.” Natasha snarled, her voice cold and dangerous.
The men turned to face Natasha, but they barely had time to react before she was on them. In a blur of motion, she disarmed the first man, sending his weapon skittering across the floor. The second man lunged at her, but she easily dodged and delivered a powerful kick to his stomach, sending him crashing into the wall. You watched in stunned silence as Natasha took down the men with brutal efficiency, her movements fluid and controlled. The fight was over in seconds, the two men lying unconscious on the floor as Natasha stood over them, breathing heavily.
For a moment, the apartment was eerily silent, the only sound the ragged breaths of the two women. Your heart pounded in your chest, your mind struggling to process what had just happened. Natasha turned to you, her expression a mixture of concern and relief. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice softer now, laced with the fear she had tried to suppress.
You nodded slowly, your eyes wide as you stared at Natasha. “I..I think so..” you stammered, still trying to grasp everything. “What..what are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t leave you unprotected.” Natasha said, stepping closer, her eyes full of guilt and love. “I knew Kinetica might come after you. I couldn’t let that happen.” Your gaze flickered to the unconscious men on the floor, then back to Natasha. “You..you saved me.”
Natasha nodded, her heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. “I will always protect you. No matter what’s happened between us, I’ll always be here for you.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Natasha, the woman who had lied to you, who had betrayed you, but who had also just saved your life. The fear and anger you had been holding onto began to waver, replaced by a deep, conflicting emotion you couldn’t fully understand. “Why?” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I love you.” Natasha said, her voice heavy with emotion. “I know I’ve hurt you, and I know you may never forgive me, but I had to make sure you were safe. You mean everything to me, Y/n.”
Your heart broke at the sincerity in Natasha’s voice. Despite everything, despite the lies and betrayal, Natasha’s love for you was real. And in that moment, you realized that your own feelings were just as complicated. You were angry, you were hurt, but you still loved her..more than you wanted to admit.
The two of you stood in silence, the weight of your emotions heavy in the air. Your mind raced with conflicting thoughts, torn between the betrayal you felt and the undeniable connection that still existed between you. Finally, you took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can forgive you, Natasha..” you said quietly. “But I can’t ignore what you just did for me. You saved my life. And..and I still care about you. I don’t know what that means, but I need time to figure it out.”
Natasha nodded, tears glistening in her eyes as she looked at you. “Take all the time you need.” she whispered. “I’ll be here, no matter what you decide.” You nodded hesitantly, the storm of emotions inside you beginning to calm. “Thank you.” you said softly, your voice barely audible.
Natasha stepped back, giving you the space you needed. “I’ll take care of this.” she said, gesturing to the unconscious men on the floor. “And then I’ll go, if that’s what you want.” You looked at Natasha, your heart heavy with everything that had happened between you. “I don’t know what I want..” you admitted, your voice trembling. “But I think..I think I need to be alone right now.”
Natasha nodded, her eyes reflecting the understanding she felt, even though the pain was clear. “I understand.” she said quietly. “Just know that if you ever need anything, anything at all, I’m here.”
You didn’t respond, but the look in your eyes said enough. You stood there, watching as Natasha efficiently secured the two men, ensuring they wouldn’t pose any further threat. She worked in silence, the weight of the situation pressing down on both of you. When Natasha was finished, she stood by the door, hesitating for a moment as if searching for the right words, but then deciding against saying anything more. With one last, sorrowful glance in your direction, she turned and left your apartment, the door closing softly behind her.
You stood frozen in place, your mind reeling from everything that had just happened. The apartment, which had been filled with tension and violence just moments ago, now felt eerily quiet. Slowly, you sank onto the couch, your body trembling as the reality of the situation settled over you.
You were filled with so many conflicting emotions that it was hard to sort through them all. Anger, fear, relief, affection..they all swirled within you, and you didn’t know how to make sense of them. You had asked Natasha to leave because you weren’t sure of anything anymore. And though it felt like the right thing to do, now that she was gone, you felt a cold emptiness spreading through your chest. A part of you wanted to call her back, wanted her to stay so you could work through these chaotic feelings together. But another part of you knew that you needed time to be alone, to sort through everything that had happened between the two of you.
The night passed in a blur of thoughts and emotions, with sleep coming only in brief, restless intervals. When morning finally came, you felt just as exhausted as you had the night before. But with the new day came a certain clarity. You knew you couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. Natasha had told you that she would always be there for you, and you believed her. But the question was whether you could let her back into your life, whether you could ever trust her again.
As the day dragged on, you tried to focus on mundane tasks, but thoughts of Natasha kept intruding. Finally, after hours of agonizing, you decided you needed more information to figure out a path forward. If there was any chance of peace or understanding between you, you needed to know the whole truth. The next day, you called Natasha. She answered immediately, and you could hear the mix of hope and concern in her voice. “Y/n?”
“I want to know everything.” you said, your voice firm even as your heart raced. “I can’t move on without understanding everything. No more secrets, no more lies. If there’s any chance for us to find peace, you need to show me everything.”
There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Natasha spoke, her voice filled with relief and caution. “I understand. I’ll take you to S.H.I.E.L.D. You’ll have access to everything, my reports, the mission files. Whatever you need to know.”
You nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Okay. When can we go?”
“Right now.” Natasha said without hesitation. “I’ll come pick you up.”
True to her word, Natasha arrived at your apartment shortly after. The drive to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building was silent, the tension between you both palpable. Natasha stole worried glances at you from time to time, but you kept your gaze fixed out the window, lost in your thoughts. When you arrived at the unassuming building that housed S.H.I.E.L.D.’s operations, Natasha guided you through a series of security checks, her presence and clearance making the process smooth. You followed her, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and curiosity. This was a world you never imagined you would be a part of.
Finally, you arrived in a large conference room. Natasha gestured for you to take a seat at the table while she went to a console on the wall and entered a series of commands. The large screen in the room flickered to life, displaying a series of files and documents. “This is everything.” Natasha said quietly, turning to face you. “My mission files, the reports I sent, the details of Kinetica’s operations. You have full access.”
You stared at the screen, your heart racing. “Why are you doing this? Why are you showing me all of this?”
“Because I owe you the truth.” Natasha replied, her voice steady but laced with emotion. “And because I want you to know that I’m not hiding anything from you anymore. I know I broke your trust, but I want to do whatever it takes to rebuild it. Even if that means showing you everything.”
The next few hours were spent going through everything, the initial mission briefing, how Natasha was assigned to get close to you to gather information on Kinetica, and how she struggled with her growing feelings for you. She explained how she tried to keep you out of harm's way even as she fulfilled her mission, and how every moment you shared, despite the circumstances, had been genuine.
You listened intently, absorbing every word, every detail. There were moments when your anger flared up again, moments when you wanted to shout at Natasha for the betrayal, for the pain she had caused. But there were also moments of understanding, moments when you saw the inner conflict Natasha had gone through, torn between her duty and her growing love for you.
When Natasha finished, she looked at you, her heart pounding in her chest. “I know this doesn’t undo the lies, but I wanted you to see that I truly cared about you. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/n.” You remained silent for a long time, processing everything you had learned. You felt raw, exposed, but also strangely relieved. This was what you had needed. the full truth, with nothing held back.
Finally, you looked at Natasha, your expression unreadable. “You were honest with me today, Natasha, and I can feel that. For the first time, I feel like I’m really seeing you..with all your strengths and flaws, with all your mistakes.” Natasha nodded, her voice soft as she responded, “That’s all I wanted. To be honest with you, even if it costs me everything.”
You sighed, rubbing your temples as you tried to organize your thoughts. “I don’t know where we go from here, Natasha. I don’t know if I can ever fully trust you again. But..I see that you’re trying. And that means something.” Natasha felt a small spark of hope ignite in her chest, but she didn’t dare let it grow too large. “Thank you, Y/n. That’s more than I deserve.”
You looked at Natasha, your eyes filled with a mix of sadness and something that resembled hope. "Maybe it’s a start. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but at least now I know the truth. And that’s more than I had before.”
Natasha nodded, her heart heavy, but she was grateful. “Whatever happens, I’m here. If you need space, I’ll give you that. If you want to talk, I’ll listen. I won’t go away.” You managed a small, tired smile. “I guess we’ll just have to see where this takes us.”
You both left the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters together, the tension between you eased but the future still uncertain. As you stepped out into the bright afternoon sun, Natasha glanced at you, and for the first time in weeks, she felt a cautious spark of hope. You caught her glance and sighed. “It’s going to take time, Natasha. I don’t know if things can ever be the way they were, but.. we can find something new. Something honest.”
Natasha nodded, her heart swelling with emotion. “That’s what I’d like.” As you walked side by side, the past still loomed over you, but for the first time, there was a path forward..a path that might lead to healing, to forgiveness, and maybe even to a future where you could rebuild what had been broken. The road ahead would be difficult, full of challenges and doubts, but you had taken the first step together. And for now, that was enough.
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spr1ngpvrinbwunnie · 4 months ago
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📖 Scenario: “Leyley” & The Anger of the Picky Eater - part 2
ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕖𝕪 𝕊𝕒𝕨𝕪𝕖𝕣/𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣 (ℙ𝕣𝕖 -“𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣” 𝕍ℍ𝕊 𝕋𝕒𝕡𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘) 𝕩 ℂ𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕖!ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣
The first mistake—if it could even be called that—was the name. A slip of the tongue, a deliberate choice, or perhaps just a reckless experiment in itself.
“Leyley.”
The word hung in the air for a second too long, a sharp note against the monotony of the laboratory. Papers rustled as Harley Sawyer slammed a file shut with a controlled but unmistakable force.
His gaze—calculating, cold, and holding just the faintest edge of exasperation—locked onto yours like a silent accusation.
Around the room, a few junior researchers froze, instinctively sensing danger, their eyes flickering between you and the man now seething behind his desk.
He didn’t need to speak. The warning was evident in the way his fingers curled against the folder’s edge, in the slow, deliberate inhale through his nose.
It was a mistake. A crime, even, if the intensity of his stare was anything to judge by. And yet, there was no regret in your expression. Just a slow, deliberate smirk as you leaned against the desk, meeting his stare with unshaken amusement.
Perhaps it was foolish to poke at something so clearly volatile, but oh, wasn’t it fascinating to see what lay beneath all that rigid control?
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The second mistake was a matter of taste—one that Harley had made abundantly clear on more than one occasion. He despised sweet and sour flavors. The combination, he once stated with his usual clinical precision, was a contradiction in itself, an imbalance that had no place on his plate.
Which made today’s lunch all the more entertaining.
You slid the takeout container across the table towards him, sitting across with the casual air of someone who had already won a game before the opponent even realized it had begun. The glossy sauce coating the dish glistened under the lab’s sterile lighting, an undeniable challenge in the form of culinary defiance.
Harley stared at it. Then at you. Then back at the offensive meal in front of him. His expression darkened.
“You can’t survive on coffee and contempt alone,” you remarked, picking up your own set of chopsticks.
Harley did not respond.
He simply pushed the container away with slow, measured intent, as though ridding himself of a particularly loathsome experiment. You only raised an eyebrow, dragging it back towards him with a single, pointed finger.
It was a silent war, neither of you breaking eye contact. But in the end, he did what he always did—he dismissed it with a sharp exhale, straightened his papers, and moved on.
You, however, didn’t miss the way his lips pressed into a thin line when the faintest hint of the dish’s scent reached him.
───── ⋆⋅✝⋅⋆ ─────
The third mistake—or perhaps, the most entertaining of them all—was disrupting his perfectly organized world. Harley thrived in precision. He found control in order, in structure, in the absolute certainty of things being exactly where he left them.
Which was precisely why, on an afternoon where the lab was silent but for the faint hum of machines, you took it upon yourself to shift his neatly arranged files just slightly out of place.
A few papers shuffled into different stacks. Pens not quite aligned. The angle of his chair turned just enough to be noticeable.
You sat back and waited.
When Harley entered the room, the shift in atmosphere was palpable. He froze mid-step, sharp gaze sweeping across the space with the efficiency of a predator assessing its territory.
The moment his eyes landed on his desk, you could almost hear the metaphorical snap of a wire tightening in his mind.
And then, silence.
A long, unbearable pause where he simply stood there, staring at the minute disruptions as if they were personal affronts. When he finally moved, it was not to fix them immediately, but to turn his gaze towards you, unimpressed, unimpressed, unimpressed.
You offered an innocent blink.
His sigh was slow, deliberate, and filled with the resignation of a man who had long since realized that his carefully cultivated order would never be safe from you.
───── ⋆⋅✝⋅⋆ ─────
But the final mistake—if it could even be called one—was much simpler.
You forgot his coffee.
Not intentionally. Not as some grand scheme to see how far you could push him. It was just an oversight, a slip in routine amidst the chaos of the day.
Yet, for Harley, it was unacceptable.
For the first few hours, he said nothing. But the silence was heavier than usual, charged with a distinct edge of displeasure. By noon, he had still not spoken to you directly, choosing instead to relay messages through clipped notes or passing words to other researchers.
By the afternoon, you found your stack of documents—previously neatly arranged—mysteriously toppled to the floor. A coincidence, surely.
And yet, when you looked up, Harley was walking away, hands in his coat pockets, the ghost of something smug in his expression.
It was a childish game of pettiness. But it was also a game that neither of you truly lost.
Because by the end of the day, when you finally placed a cup of coffee beside him without a word, Harley merely exhaled, picked it up, and took a slow sip.
And just like that, balance was restored.
At least, until the next time you decided to test just how much control he truly had.
you when you pissed him off the shit out and dragged him into trouble more than 1098 times and almost got thrown to Yarnaby to eat:
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memories-of-ancients · 8 months ago
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The Sad Fate of Roman War Veterans and How the Punic Wars Destroyed the Roman Middle Class
There's no question that Rome's victory over Carthage during the Punic Wars drastically changed the Roman Republic. Perhaps the most apparent change was Rome's ascendancy from a smaller power in Italy to the dominant power in the Mediterranean. In other words, a big fish in a small pond, to a big fish in a literal big pond. In the span of 120 years Roman territory expanded by vast amounts followed by further Roman expansionism resulting in Roman territory stretching from Spain and North Africa in the west to Greece and Anatolia in the east.
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While the Punic Wars would transform Rome into an (e)mpire militarily, it also transformed Roman socio-economic structures. The early Roman Republic had no standing professional armies. Instead to wage war Rome used a militia system with citizen soldiers who were called up as needed. Since the state had no role in equipping soldiers, it was up to soldiers to equip themselves. Roman lower classes were exempt from military service since they could not afford weapons, armor, or supplies while the Roman upper class served as officers or elite cavalrymen. Thus, the responsibility for providing the rank and file infantry of the army fell to the Roman middle class. The Roman middle class consisted of some skilled artisans and small business owners, but by far most of the Roman middle class were farmers who owned small plots of land.
Up until the Punic Wars, this system worked fine as war was a small, short, local event that occurred within the confines of central and southern Italy. A Roman soldier didn't have far to travel from home as the enemy was within easy marching distance away. War was also a seasonal affair where the fighting occurred on the off season, then a truce was called so that soldiers could tend their farms during the growing season, with the war resuming once the crops were harvested. Now Roman soldiers were expected to be shipped to far off places such as Africa, Spain, Greece, Macedonia, and Anatolia. Whereas before wars were short seasonal affairs, now wars seemed to last forever with no recesses so that soldiers can tend their farms. Both the first and second Punic Wars nearly lasted two decades each. And war was everywhere as the Punic Wars involved multiple fronts all over the Mediterranean. No longer were Roman wars short, small, localized affairs. In the meantime while soldiers were away fighting, their fields were fallow and their businesses had fallen into disrepair. The Republic tried to mitigate the financial strains of the Punic Wars on its soldiers by paying a stipend. However it was not enough to prevent financial disaster. When the war ended and Rome's veterans returned home in triumph, they were broke and impoverished.
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In order to make ends meet or pay off debt, most had to sell off their land to wealthy landholders, who consolidated that land into large estates and plantations. Many who sold their land became tenant farmers on the land that they had previously owned. Others moved to the city and tried to eek out a living as a laborer, however the price of labor was plummeting as Rome had taken tens of thousands of slaves during the Punic Wars and were taking tens of thousands more in various wars across the Mediterranean. War veterans found that there was no place for them in Roman society. Their farms and businesses were gone, and there was no need for their labor due to the sudden influx of slaves. Wealthy Roman elites had taken control of most of the Republic's land and wealth while a large percentage of the middle class were booted into poverty.
The result of everything I have previously described was a massive and ever growing rift between the rich and the poor as wealth became more and more concentrated at the top. This event became a hot button issue in Roman politics with Roman government being dominated between two unofficial political parties; the optimates, or those who supported the interests of the Roman elite, and the populares, or those who supported the interests of the common Roman. The clash between the optimates and populares led to increasing political instability resulting in the rise of demagogues and dictators. Civil war became common, and eventually the Roman Republic fell, giving rise to the Roman Empire.
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ssa-dado · 7 months ago
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20 - Logic
Aaron Hotchner x fem!bau!reader Genre: everything but smut, suck it. Summary: Aaron Hotchner just so happens to navigate a complex web of professional and personal struggles, reflecting on his dead marriage, his leadership, and his connection with you. The team tackles a case involving a methodical killer while tensions rise between you, Hotch and Rossi over leadership dynamics. Amid the chaos, Hotch wrestles with his feelings for you, as you end an abusive relationship with your now ex-best friend. Everything tied within some good old stoic logic. Warnings: guilt, the unsub commits suicide, a cm case described in detail, Rossi being an asshole, P***r gets mentioned. Word Count: 20.8k Dado's Corner: One month later, here I am again. Hope you missed Philosopher and Lawyer as much as I did. This one is quite fun, I experimented with the style of narration... let me know if you like it.
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In Stoic philosophy, logics (logikē) focuses on reasoning, the methods of thinking, and the structure of arguments, serving as the foundational discipline that allows individuals to discern truth (aletheia) from falsehood.
For the Stoics, mastery of logics was crucial because it equipped the rational mind (logos) with the tools needed to make sound judgments and live in accordance with nature.
The Stoics believed that a proposition was true when it reflected something of the environment to which it referred.
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The hum of the jet had never felt so loud.
It wasn’t an oppressive sound - it was steady, rhythmic, almost soothing if he let it be.
But tonight, it was the sound of everything else he didn’t want to think about - a lifeline, something to cling to while his mind spiraled into spaces it shouldn’t go.
Spaces he couldn’t seem to avoid.
Hotch stared at the case file in front of him, pen hovering above the paper. His eyes traced the same line for what felt like the fifth time, still not reading, still not processing. The words just blurred into nothingness.
He was just there, replaying the same scene in his head like a tape stuck on a loop.
The rooftop.
The unsub’s detached voice: “I think your worst fear is that you can’t save everyone.”
It wasn’t even a unique insight; Hotch had heard variations of it throughout his career, sometimes from suspects, sometimes from his own team, most of the times from the voices inside his head mocking him of every failure.
Yet tonight, it felt even sharper, as if Howard had carved the words directly into his bones.
So, his mind wandered back to that rooftop.
“Dr. Howard? I’m Aaron Hotchner. I’m with the FBI,” he’d called, his voice steady, his tone carefully modulated.
“Don’t ask me to come down,” Howard had replied, almost amused, as if daring him to try.
“We found at least 15 people dead. It’s over,” he had said, the words mechanical, as if the simple logic of justice could tether the man back to reality.
But it was too late for that, the unsub’s words had already begun to untangle themselves from reason. He had spoken of sacrifice and science, justification wrapped in delusion.
Hotch had seen it way too many times before - a brilliant mind twisted by its own arrogance, spiraling into darkness.
“You know this is the easy way out,” Hotch had said, his voice slightly softening, yet the words sounded almost mocking to his own ears. “If you come down, we’d like to talk to you.”
Howard’s face hadn’t changed, but his voice did. “Most people go into law enforcement because they want to help others,” he’d said, meeting Hotch’s eyes.
And before his subconscious would have started processing it, Morgan’s voice had broken through then, sharp and urgent. “Tell us where Missy is.”
Howard had taken off his glasses, placing them in his pocket with a such calmness that made Hotch’s pulse quicken – it was over. He knew that.
And only then, the unsub uttered towards him the infamous words:
“I think your worst fear is that you can’t save everyone.”
Only three words echoed inside Hotch’s head at the time, something directly from what he learned in his training, when he first learned how to handle these kinds of situations:
Engage. Stabilize. Control.
But over time, the formula had subtly evolved, refined into something more distinctly his own.
Deflect. De-escalate. Move forward.
The three steps were almost second nature now, ingrained into him through years of experience. Deflect the unsub’s attempts to personalize the situation, to make it about anything other than the facts. De-escalate their emotions, draw them back from the brink, create space for reason to take hold. And above all, move forward. Always forward. Don’t dwell, don’t linger. Just get to the next step, the next decision, the next resolution.
He was good at it - too good, some might say.
But as he stood there on that rooftop, the biting wind cutting through his bulletproof vest, he realized there was something about this moment he couldn’t fully compartmentalize.
He was fighting for Missy, yes. Every second mattered, and the need to bring her home alive burned brighter than anything else. That was his job, his duty. But as he locked eyes with Dr. Howard, his voice calm, measured, and so sure of his warped reality, Hotch felt the pull of something he couldn’t entirely suppress.
Humanity.
He wasn’t just trying to save Missy. A part of him, buried deep but undeniable, was trying to save Howard too - from himself, from the abyss he’d already plunged into.
It wasn’t in the rulebook.
It wasn’t part of the training manuals or the countless hours of hostage negotiation drills. The law didn’t ask you to save the people who had done irreparable harm, the ones who had broken every moral boundary, destroyed lives, and laughed about it.
The law demanded order.
Justice.
Efficiency.
It told him to prioritize the victim, to see Howard as nothing more than a piece on the chessboard, a threat to neutralize.
But Aaron, for all his stoicism, could never quite strip away the part of himself that still looked for humanity, even in the darkest places.
Was it arrogant to think he could save them both? That he could somehow cut through Howard’s delusions and bring him back from the edge? Or was it something more human? Something he could never bury, no matter how much he wanted to.
Because Howard wasn’t just a threat.
He was a man unraveling before his eyes, clinging to the last shred of control he believed he had. And for all his cruelty, for all the lives he’d taken and the pain he’d caused, Hotch couldn’t fully silence the voice in his head that whispered, If I can reach him, maybe…
But then he was gone.
The sound of the unsub’s body hitting the pavement was muffled by the rush of blood in his ears, the world narrowing to the crimson stain left behind.
He had come too late, once again.
And now, on the jet, across from him, Morgan’s voice broke the silence, pulling Hotch back to the present. “I can’t sleep.”
Hotch didn’t look up. His pen hovered over the file, frozen mid-thought. “Want me to turn off the light?”
Morgan’s smile was faint, tired, but his voice carried weight. “No. I want to be able to sleep.”
With a sigh, Hotch closed the file and set his pen aside, finally meeting Morgan’s gaze. “What’s the matter?”
Morgan leaned back, his arms crossing over his chest as he studied Hotch with a look that was too knowing, too familiar. “What’s the matter with you, Hotch?”
Hotch’s jaw tightened.
“You’re sitting here doing work when you’d normally take a break,” Morgan said, leaning forward, his voice steady but probing. “Please don’t tell me it’s about Gideon leaving.”
Hotch exhaled softly, his fingers pressing into the edge of the table. “You know, we made a deal a long time ago not to profile each other.”
And by "a long time ago," he meant exactly one year. One year since he’d crossed a line, profiling you on why you weren’t wearing your engagement ring back when you invited him for dinner. He still hadn’t told anyone.
“Am I wrong?” Morgan countered, his tone cutting through the thin defense.
Hotch didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. The weight of it was written all over him.
“You know, Hotch, today was a huge, huge victory for all of us,” Morgan continued, his voice firm, grounding. “We’re doing just fine without Gideon.”
Hotch gave a faint nod, his mind still trapped in the labyrinth of his own thoughts.
Gideon was gone.
Missy was saved, at least.
And yet, he kept playing the rooftop back in his head, rewriting the ending in a dozen different ways, trying to find the version where Howard didn’t jump.
Where his words had been enough.
Where the shadows of his failures didn’t loom so large.
The unsub’s voice yet again still echoed in his mind, that accusation that wasn’t wrong, that he was afraid he couldn’t save everyone.
And worse, it was safe.
It was a truth he could wrestle with endlessly, a familiar weight he knew how to carry.
It was easier to fixate on that failure, on a life lost on a rooftop, than to face the other truth looming over him, the one that cut far deeper.
“Hotch,” Morgan said again, his voice quieter now, pulling Hotch’s focus. “What’s keeping you up tonight?”
He hesitated, the words catching in his throat.
For a moment, he considered deflecting, offering a polished answer like a lawyer presenting a case.
Deflect. De-escalate. Move forward.
The formula.
But the weight of the truth was too heavy to hold.
The real fear wasn’t really about saving strangers.
It was about Haley.
About Jack.
The real fear was that he couldn’t save his family.
That they’d already walked out of his life.
“Haley’s left,” he said finally, the confession low, steady, and raw. “And I don’t know if she’s coming back.”
He refused to accept the silence that had taken over his house.
Silence, he’d learned, had a way of amplifying absence, turning every creak of the floorboards into an accusation, every hum of the refrigerator into a hollow reminder of what was no longer there.
He wouldn’t let himself get used to it.
He couldn’t.
To do so would mean admitting that the laughter was gone - the wild, joyful echoes of Jack’s voice narrating stories to Kuna that were much more chaotic than coherent, the tales of a world in which pirates, Jedis, superheroes and pine martens all lived together.
It would mean accepting that there were no more shouts of “Dad, watch this!” accompanied by the rapid patter of little feet racing down the hallway, or conceding that there was no one he was helping build couch forts in the living room.
Jack’s voice used to fill every room, ringing with excitement and joy in a way that made Aaron feel like he could still breathe after even the worst days.
And Haley - God, Haley.
Her voice had this way of wrapping around the walls, filling every corner of the house with a warmth that made everything feel solid, whole. Whether she was calling Jack to dinner or talking to herself as she moved through the rooms, her presence was an anchor.
She could laugh at the smallest things - a poorly timed joke, a misstep in a dance she insisted on doing while cooking - and it was the kind of laugh that lingered, softening even the hardest edges of his day.
Even now, he could almost hear it, faint and ghostlike, as if the house itself remembered her better than he could bear to.
But now, the house was a shell.
Empty.
The walls seemed to lean in, accusing him with their stillness, asking questions he couldn’t answer: Where are they? Why aren’t they coming back? How did you let this happen?
But then you were there, and suddenly, the silence didn’t win anymore.
It wasn’t just the sound of your soft humming as you worked on your notes or the shuffle of papers that had taken over his kitchen table, it was the way your presence seemed to fill the void, adding a warmth he’d been starving for.
A fire.
Like the way you’d rummage through his cabinets, muttering under your breath, teasing him for his predictable habits and lack of variety, as if his limited tea selection were some kind of personal offense.
“You’ve got three kinds of English Breakfast and a chamomile older than Jack,” you announced, holding the offending box aloft as if it were evidence in a trial. “Is this a house or a time capsule?”
Aaron glanced up from his paperwork, one eyebrow arching in his usual understated disbelief. “Chamomile doesn’t go bad.”
You shook the box as if the rattling teabags might groan in protest. “Chamomile shouldn’t go bad, but this box might be the exception. Honestly, Aaron, if you’re trying to poison your guests, there are subtler ways. You’ve been in law enforcement long enough to know better.”
“Duly noted,” he said, deadpan, as he set his pen down. “Next time, I’ll just hide the evidence. You know, plausible deniability.”
Rolling your eyes, he saw you moving to scan the cabinet again, your fingers rifling through his depressingly predictable collection of tea. “And three kinds of English Breakfast,” you muttered to yourself, shaking your head. “Who needs three kinds of the same tea? It’s like having three identical suits… oh wait… that’s your thing.”
He chuckled, moving to lean against the counter, arms crossed, watching you rummage through the rest of the cabinet. “Let me guess,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up, “you’re looking for that one black tea so bitter it doubles as a cry for help.”
You whirled around, mock indignation lighting up your face. “It’s not bitter, it’s complex.”
“Complex,” he echoed, his voice steeped in skepticism. “So complex I can taste it from across the table every time you drink it.” His eyes tracked your movements as you tugged on your coat, grabbing your car keys with the efficiency of someone about to launch a rescue operation.
“Where are you going?” he asked, the faintest hint of incredulity coloring his voice.
“To fix this mess,” you shot back, your determination unwavering as you marched toward the door. Hotch recognized your look, the one that meant you were on a mission, and not even divine intervention could slow you down. It was like watching a hurricane in real-time, only you were wearing sensible shoes and wielding car keys instead of gale-force winds.
He sighed, that was his cue.
There was no stopping you - not with reason, logic, or his best FBI glare. But if he went with you, at least your energy would be directed at him instead of some poor unsuspecting night-shift cashier, who didn’t sign up to face your tea-related crusade at midnight.
“It’s midnight. You’re not going alone,” he said, his voice carrying more authority than necessary for what was clearly a caffeine-fueled escapade.
The truth, though, was simpler: if he stayed home, he’d be stuck with the silence, which wasn’t silent at all.
The idea of staying in his house without you was unbearable. The voices - the regrets, the what-ifs - always got too loud too fast, like an overzealous jury in his head, and they never adjourned.
Haley. Jack. Even Gideon.
When you were around, though, it was different. You had a way of filling the air that even the nagging voices in his head, the ones that rehashed every failure and regret, seemed to take one look at you and shut up.
Probably terrified of Philosophers… he wouldn’t blame them.
Afterall, you did have a knack for turning even his most tightly wound logic into a pretzel and serving it back to him with a grin.
“Alright,” you declared in defeat. “Come be my chauffeur. But if I catch you suggesting anything remotely fruity, I’m leaving you in the parking lot.”
As you breezed past him, muttering about proper supplies and “showing him real complexity,” he silently thanked his luck that you were only talking about tea and not a hostage negotiation. Heaven help the world if your special brand ever went extinct - there’d likely be a UN emergency summit convened by sunrise.
And by the time you both returned with your prized tea, Aaron was already questioning his life choices. As you brewed a cup, he leaned against the counter, watching like an unwilling participant in a social experiment.
You handed him a mug, a grin spreading across your face. “Try it.”
He hesitated, eyeing the tea like it might bite him. With the caution of a profiler defusing a bomb, he brought the cup to his lips and took the smallest sip.
His expression didn’t betray much, at first, but then, the barest scrunch of his nose gave him away. “It’s… terrible,” he said simply, setting the mug down like it might offend him further.
Your mouth fell open in mock indignation. “Terrible? That’s bold talk from the same man who just yesterday claimed he actually loves the taste of the Bureau’s coffee!”
“It’s called adapting,” he countered smoothly, his smirk creeping in.
“Oh, sure,” you said, crossing your arms. “Because ‘adapting’ is just fancy talk for ‘giving up entirely.’ I remember still drinking coffee from Bertie back in 1998, and it was already held together with duct tape and prayer. And let me remind you - because I know you’ll deny it - you were the one who wouldn’t stop complaining about it”
He tilted his head, feigning confusion. “That doesn’t sound like me. I’m very pragmatic about my beverages.”
“Oh, really?” you countered, leaning against the counter with a smirk. “Because I distinctly remember you telling Gideon that the only way to improve that coffee was to burn the machine, salt the earth where it stood, and consider it an act of public service.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Maybe my standards have evolved.”
“Evolved?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Into what? Stockholm Syndrome? Or,” you pointed at his abandoned mug of tea, “maybe you’ve just lost your edge. This tea, Aaron, has depth. Complexity. It’s for people with taste.”
“It tastes like despair,” he replied, entirely straight-faced.
“Despair,” you echoed with a snort. “And yet, you’ll go back to Bertie tomorrow morning and drink whatever burnt sludge it spits out.”
He shrugged, his smirk returning. “At least Bertie’s predictable.”
“Predictable?” You laughed so hard you nearly spilled your tea. “Hotchner, Bertie once brewed a cup so vile Spencer thought we’d discovered a new form of carbon. But sure, let’s call it predictable.”
Without missing a beat, Aaron leaned back against his chair, fingers intertwining on the back of his head. “You know,” he said dryly, “I think I finally understand why they threw the tea into the harbor during the Boston Tea Party.” He stopped for a second, making sure you were looking directly at him “It wasn’t about taxes, it was this.”
You froze, staring at him in disbelief, your mug hovering mid-air. Then it hit you, and you burst out laughing, nearly doubling over. “Oh, no,” you wheezed, clutching your stomach. “No, you do not get to be this funny in an argument about tea. I hate that you just made the funniest joke I’ve ever heard about this.”
He shrugged, his smirk growing. “I’m glad my humor’s appreciated.”
You pointed at him, still laughing but clearly refusing to let him have the upper hand. “You’re insufferable,” you declared, wiping a tear from your eye. “Absolutely insufferable. But that was… annoyingly clever.”
“I’ll take annoyingly clever as a compliment,” he replied, straight-faced. “Coming from you, it’s high praise.”
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself,” you shot back, still smiling despite yourself, and though you hated to admit it, the joke was still replaying in your mind. “That joke doesn’t make your coffee standards any less tragic. Enjoy your burnt sludge tomorrow, Boston Boy.”
He still didn’t understand how you manage to drink that stuff, but somehow, your stubborn loyalty to it felt… grounding.
Because for all your muttering and dramatics, you were still there – with him.
Someone who didn’t hate him.
Someone who hadn’t left him, not yet.
---
Philosophy comes with a lot of dilemmas - too many, in fact - but not nearly as many as the ones you inflicted on your colleagues at random while you were all buried in paperwork in the bullpen.
Does a tolerant society have to tolerate intolerance, even if it means undermining itself?
If someone says, ‘This statement is false,’ is the statement true or false?
Do we have free will, or are our actions determined by external forces or natural laws?
The answers were almost always the same: a collective groan or the universal team favorite, “Oh, shut up, Teach.”
But today, your philosophical pondering took a backseat to what you, Morgan, and Prentiss had unanimously subconsciously declared the real dilemma of the century: which was scarier - Halloween monsters or the fact that today marked the arrival of Gideon’s replacement in the team?
Knowing David Rossi - and having worked with his Machiavellian mind before – heavily influenced you to lean toward the latter.
As you sat at your desk, trying to make the endless paperwork feel like less of a soul-crushing abyss by timing yourself every time, you found the smallest thrill in racing the clock.
Your goal was simple: finish as quickly as possible so you could justify a trip up to Hotch’s office.
You could spin it as efficiency - getting the reports filed into the system early - but really, you just needed an excuse to exchange a word or two with him.
The truth was, you missed him being at the desk right across from you in the bullpen, the one he used to occupy nine years ago. Now, instead of a quick glance up to see his face, all you had was his left profile - always stern, always focused, always several feet away, barricaded by a pane of glass and an impenetrable air of authority, framed by the ever-present blinds of his office window.
He left them always open, but still.
Sure, technically, he was still in front of you - his office “just so happened” to align perfectly with your desk, giving you a clear view whenever you looked up.
But it wasn’t the same.
Especially today.
The tension in the bullpen was almost palpable, hanging heavy in the air as if the entire team was bracing for something. It was the kind of day where you’d normally lean over to murmur a comment to Hotch, and he’d respond with that subtle quirk of his brow that, at least to you, spoke volumes.
Instead, you were left wondering if the tension had seeped into his office, into the blinds, into the stiff set of his shoulders or the telltale tightness in his jaw.
Was it bothering him?
Did he even notice?
All you wanted to do was talk to your partner-that-now-happened-to-be-your-boss and check.
And so, as if to break the tension - or throw gasoline on it - Reid appeared, wearing a ridiculously oversized Frankenstein monster head mask. He crept up behind Morgan, who was so absorbed in his paperwork that he didn’t notice the impending doom at all. Reid crouched slightly, arms extended like a cartoon villain, and growled, “I’m going to eat you!”
Morgan shot out of his chair with a yelp, almost sending his file flying in one direction and his dignity in another, making both you and Prentiss immediately burst into laughter. “Reid!” he barked, his hand clutching his chest as though the paperwork might have contained a hidden bomb.
Reid, meanwhile, whipped off the mask with a triumphant grin. “Happy All Hallows’ Eve, folks!” he announced, his voice brimming with glee. “To paraphrase from Celtic mythology, tomorrow night all order is suspended, and the barriers between the natural and the supernatural are temporarily remoooooved!”
He punctuated the announcement by tossing a second, equally ridiculous mask toward Prentiss, who caught it midair with her biggest most contagious grin.
“That right there,” Morgan said, pointing a finger at the frizzy-haired monstrosity Reid had thrown, “is why Halloween creeps me out.”
“You’re scared of Halloween?” Reid shot back, his tone teetering between intrigued and vaguely offended. You couldn’t quite tell if he was about to psychoanalyze Morgan on the spot or just defend Halloween’s honor, but knowing Reid, it was probably both.
“I didn’t say I was scared,” Morgan corrected, wagging a finger at Reid for emphasis. “I said I was creeped out. There’s a difference, youngster. You should look it up.” Then, as if rallying reinforcements, he turned to you, clearly expecting you to back him up. “Tell him, Teach.”
You didn’t even bother glancing up from your stopwatch, which you dramatically clicked off with all the precision of someone timing an Olympic sprint. “Oh, sure thing, because obviously I’m the walking Cambridge dictionary now. Alright, brace yourselves. Lesson one: Example A - Morgan, when Reid jumped out at him like a budget haunted house actor? That’s textbook scared.”
Prentiss and Reid burst into laughter as Morgan pointed an indignant finger at you. “Hey, that’s not what I mea-”
You held up a finger, cutting him off as you scrolled casually through your prized finished reports. “Morgan, being emotionally terrorized by what I’m generously calling a $2 piece of melted plastic? That’s what linguists - namely, me - call creeped out. An expression, by the way, coined in the 1830s by Charles Dickens himself. You’re welcome. Class dismissed.”
Reid doubled over, laughing so hard he nearly knocked the Frankenstein mask off his head, while Prentiss leaned back in her chair, her laughter ringing out unabashedly.
Morgan threw his hands up in mock betrayal. “Y’all ain’t right. I’m just trying to live my life here!”
“Lesson two,” you added as you stood, gathering your reports like they were sacred texts, then made your way toward the kitchenette. You could feel Morgan glaring daggers at the back of your head, but you paid him no mind.
Pausing only to point at Reid, you delivered your final verdict “Never sneak up on a grown man who’s this easy to scare. It’s almost cruel,” you called out, shaking your head as you walked toward the kitchenette.
“Scared and creeped out,” Reid shot back, raising his voice just enough for you to hear from across the bullpen. His grin was smug enough to practically glow in your peripheral vision, and you could already tell he was planning to gloat about this moment for the rest of the day.
At least he got the point of lesson one, small victories.
Probably helped that you were his thesis supervisor, and over the past few weeks, you’d developed the kind of intellectual bond that only two people who regularly debated metaphysics over coffee could manage.
But what really snagged your attention wasn’t Reid’s self-satisfaction. No, it was Morgan muttering under his breath, “Prehistoric Reid.”
Without missing a beat, and without turning around, you raised your voice just enough to carry. “I heard you, Morgan.”
The bullpen erupted again. Prentiss was doubled over with fresh laughter, her face red as she gasped for air. Morgan groaned audibly, slumping in his chair like a man under siege.
“Man, Teach has ears like a bat,” he grumbled, though his tone carried more affection than annoyance, at least.
If the bullpen was chaos incarnate, the kitchenette promised a few moments of relative peace. You believed you’d only spend a minute or two there , but no - Bertie the coffee machine, your ancient nemesis, had other plans.
Some genius had decided to turn her off completely, so now you were stuck coaxing the temperamental beast back to life.
“All right, Bertie,” you muttered, flipping the switch with the cautious energy of someone attempting to detonate a bomb they didn’t really care about saving. Predictably, nothing happened.
No hum, no gurgle, not even the faintest whiff of coffee.
Instead, she let out a sputter so half-hearted it might as well have been the coffee machine equivalent of flipping you off.
Why were you even battling with this relic from the Jurassic era?
Oh, right - because the only thing more necessary to survive the day than caffeine was the faint, irrational hope that your partner-turned-boss-who-somehow-morphed-into-C-3PO-as-Unit-Chief-but-still-cracked-jokes-sometimes-when-he-felt-like-being-human would smile.
Just once.
It wouldn’t fix anything, but seeing Hotch – not Aaron, but Hotch - smile, even the smallest hint of one, could’ve made the mess of Rossi’s grand entrance feel just a little less like an apocalypse.
“Of course,” you muttered, sighing as you resorted to lightly slapping the side of the machine. “You know, I could just use the nice, expensive, functioning coffee maker upstairs, but no. Hotch needs your burnt battery acid because apparently, taste buds are optional for him.”
You gave Bertie another desperate slap, and finally, groaned to life with a sound that could only be described as a dying walrus. “That’s my girl.” You sighed in relief, though you wouldn’t dare celebrate just yet. Bertie had a habit of spitting boiling water at you when she felt underappreciated.
“You’re an overworked, overused, barely holding it together - but somehow still dependable nightmare with the most hideous sense of humor” you muttered as she began churning out liquid that could barely be called coffee. “Which is probably why Hotch likes you so much. He sees himself in you.”
You poured two cups. The first one, predictably, looked like motor oil, but you figured Hotch wouldn’t notice - or care. After all, he was the one who told you that’s exactly how he liked it: strong enough to fuel a jet, with just a hint of bitterness to match his mood.
And who were you to question authority?
Well, maybe his - just slightly.
Not because he wasn’t good enough, far from it, but because behind all that duty and discipline, you could still see the friend who, out of nowhere, had cracked the funniest joke you’d probably ever heard. And he’d done it with a Boston Tea Party reference, of all things.
You grabbed your files and the two cups of coffee, balancing them carefully as you turned back toward your desk, only to freeze mid-step. Reid, Prentiss, and Morgan stood clustered together, their faces locked in expressions so stunned you’d think they’d just witnessed the ghost of Alexander Hamilton himself wandering through the bullpen.
“What’s going on?” you asked, your eyes darting between them, half-expecting an unsub to be lurking behind you with a false-face mask and a dramatic monologue.
Reid, his grin slowly spreading across his face like a kid meeting their superhero, pointed toward Hotch’s office. “You missed him.”
You followed Reid’s gaze to the windows of Hotch’s office.
And there they were.
Hotch. Strauss. Rossi.
And just like that, the universe managed to cram three of your personal nightmares into a single square meter of space. It was an unholy triumvirate. Three people, each of whom had caused you at least one life-long trauma.
Prentiss, ever the empathic, placed a hand on your shoulder. “You’re not seriously going to hand him the files now, are you?”
You let out a sarcastic laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, definitely. I’m sure I missed a semicolon somewhere in the report. It’s urgent.”
But then Morgan, out of the blue, shifting to a more serious tone, asked, “What’s Rossi like?”
Million-dollar question.
You paused, choosing your words carefully as your gaze shifted between Reid in the bullpen and the scene playing out inside Hotch’s office. “Think of Gideon,” you began, your tone soft, “but someone completely different at the same time. Rossi is sharp, deliberate, he gets straight to the heart of a problem. Theatrical, sure, but he knows when to push and when to pull back. If you need someone thinking ten, even twenty steps ahead of an unsub, he’s the best there is. Absolutely the best.”
Your eyes flicked briefly to Hotch’s office, catching the moment he and Rossi stepped back from a hug.
Your heart just dropped at the view.
Hotch was smiling.
A genuine, unguarded smile.
Not the polite, guarded expression he usually wore as Unit Chief, but a real, unguarded smile - one you hadn’t seen in what felt like in ages. It wasn’t the professional mask of the man in charge, the one you’d come to respect the most but secretly hate just as much for how it had hardened him.
That what for you was a new version of him - the one so much more consumed by the job - stood in stark contrast to the Hotch you’d known almost a decade ago.
Hotch—your partner.
The Hotch you’d known back then had been just as firm, just as committed, but there had been lightness too. His damned sense of humor, hell, even those hopelessly awkward attempts at flirting with each other.
Even that had become an unspoken contest - who was worse at it. Both of you so bad at it that, inexplicably, it worked. Somehow, amidst the chaos, those moments had grounded you, moments where the weight of the world hadn’t yet crushed him.
Now, watching him with Rossi, you caught a glimpse of that man again - the one who could smile without reservation, who could let go for just a second. It felt like a thread of the old Hotch had been pulled back to the surface, weaving itself into the present.
And for the first time in far too long, it looked like something inside him was starting to mend.
“Rossi and Gideon together were… unmatched,” you continued, your voice softer now, the words slipping out as if they carried their own weight. “They had this instinct, this understanding of the human mind that defied explanation. They were the best at what they did.”
Reid nodded faintly, his gaze dropping as he processed your words. The weight of your unspoken feelings every time the word ‘Gideon’ escaped your lips lingered in the air.
He didn’t need to say anything - he felt every syllable you didn’t say.
Parts of both you and Reid were still adjusting to this change, even with the underlying sense of relief that came with Rossi’s return.
Parts of both you and Reid were still adjusting to the change, even with the underlying sense of relief that came with Rossi’s return. It was bittersweet, but in some strange way, for you, it felt like a piece of the past was coming back to steady you; for Reid, it was a breath of fresh air - a chance to meet the other half of his old mentor’s legendary pairing.
If Hotch could hear your thoughts, you’d have locked eyes across the room and escalated it into one of your infamous, competitive volleys: significant other, partner, spouse, soulmate, bank account sharer, joint mortgage holder, primary beneficiary.
But that Hotch was long gone.
You hesitated, then added, “They were different, but they shared one thing: they believed in the work. In what it could do. And they never stopped trying to be better, even when it cost them everything.”
For the first time in a long while, it felt like something was settling back into place for you as well. Slowly but surely, balance was returning, or at least trying to.
That fragile sense of equilibrium lasted about ten seconds before JJ descended the stairs from Hotch’s office - also known as the cave of your collective traumas - to announce you had a new case.
And then the door to the infamous office opened. Out stepped Rossi, sporting his most enthusiastic smile, with Hotch following close behind, back to his usual professional calm expression. Rossi’s eyes scanned the bullpen, taking in each of you, but when his gaze landed on yours, his grin for some reasons disappeared.
“Europe!” he exclaimed, actually sounding surprised. “What are you doing here?”
Ah, Europe. Another nickname to add to your ever-growing list, courtesy of Rossi and your time stationed abroad. You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms with mock indignation. “What, I don’t deserve a smile as well?”
Hotch, ever the professional despite the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, said in a measured tone, “She’s part of the team.”
Rossi’s grin widened as he clapped Hotch firmly in the middle of the back - hard enough that even Hotch shifted slightly in surprise. “Oh, I see, of course she is. Looks like I can’t get rid of you two, can I?”
You and Hotch exchanged a glance, one of those knowing looks that said everything without needing to speak: Rossi hasn’t changed a bit. If anything, he’s only gotten worse with age.
Rossi, ever the master of reading a room - and especially the two of you - smirked and wagged a finger between you both. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. I missed my favorite early birds couple. Just like old times.”
Never in your life had you witnessed a worse choice of words.
Prentiss immediately coughed into her hand, doing an abysmal job of hiding her laughter, while Morgan’s grin spread so wide you were tempted to suggest it could power Quantico for a week.
“Couple, huh?” Prentiss leaned in, her eyebrows raised in perfect mock innocence. “Should we be calling you Mrs. Unit Chief now?”
You turned to her, eyes narrowing with the sharpness of a blade. “Prentiss,” you said, your tone low, but it only made her grin harder.
“Oh, come on. It’s a valid question,” Morgan chimed in, jumping on the opportunity with relish. “So, Teach, what’s the story? Got something you haven’t told us? Maybe those late-night report sessions weren’t all about paperwork after all. Must’ve been some really close teamwork.”
Your lips pressed into a razor-thin, as you leveled a glare at him, mentally cycling through every possible way to shut this conversation down without landing yourself in handcuffs. “Morgan, you’re about two seconds away from being served Bertie’s first cup of coffee.”
Morgan gasped in exaggerated horror, throwing his hands up in mock surrender as if you’d just threatened to steal his firstborn, if he’d had one, that is. “Alright, alright, no need to go nuclear! But come on, you can’t blame a guy for being curious.”
“Oh, I absolutely can,” you snapped still keeping your voice as low as possible - but before you could say more, Prentiss leaned even closer, her smirk practically predatory.
“To be fair,” she said, her voice soft and conspiratorial, “you two do finish each other’s sentences.”
“That’s only because we worked-” you started, only to stop yourself abruptly, exhaling sharply. “No. I’m not doing this. I am not engaging in this ridiculous-”
“Ridiculous what?” Prentiss interrupted, her tone dripping with feigned sweetness. “Your obvious chemistry? Your perfect synchronicity? Honestly, Mrs. Unit Chief, it’s adorable.”
Morgan let out a bark of laughter, clapping his hands together. “Adorable! That’s the word I was looking for. Prentiss, you nailed it.”
You almost threw your hands in the air, glaring at both of them. “It’s not what you think. Rossi just used a poor choice of words.”
Morgan tilted his head, dragging out the word “Sure” with a level of disbelief so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Prentiss wasn’t done. “You know, this would explain so much. The way you two exchange those looks like you’re having a full-blown conversation without speaking. The mysteriously coordinated outfits-”
“We do not coordinate outfits!” you snapped, your patience officially wearing thin.
“-and let’s not forget the coffee thing,” she continued as if you hadn’t spoken. “You always make him a cup like some doting-”
“That’s because he likes burnt coffee!” you interrupted, your voice slightly louder than you intended.
“Exactly,” Morgan said, pointing at you. “Only love could make someone tolerate that taste.”
Before you could fire back, you saw movement out of the corner of your eye - Rossi and Hotch making their way down to the bullpen. Straightening up, you plastered on your most professional smile, ignoring the smug satisfaction radiating from both Prentiss and Morgan.
Rossi, of course, looked entirely too pleased with himself, and for a moment, you seriously considered that he might have chosen those words on purpose.
Hotch, ever the consummate professional - or perhaps just willfully oblivious - raised a hand to begin introductions. “SSA David Rossi,” he said, his voice steady and calm, “this is SSA Emily Prentiss.”
Prentiss stepped forward, managing to school her expression into something polite and measured. “Sir,” she said, though her tone had just the faintest edge of mischief.
“SSA Derek Morgan,” Hotch continued.
Morgan extended a hand with his trademark charm, his grin still tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s an honor, Agent Rossi.”
Rossi shook his hand firmly, waving off the formality. “Please, just Dave.”
Hotch moved smoothly on, his calm voice cutting through the lingering mischief in the air. “And Dr. Spencer Reid.”
Reid stepped forward eagerly, his hands twitching as if he couldn’t decide whether to shake Rossi’s hand or launch into a monologue. He went with both. “Sir, if I could talk to you later about your work with the Scarsdale Skinner, I’d really appreciate it. Psycho-linguistics is an incredibly dynamic field, and the way your profile of his reading habits ultimately led to his capture is-”
“Reid,” Hotch interrupted gently, raising a hand. “Slow down. He’ll be here for a while. You can catch up with him later.”
Reid flushed slightly, nodding. “Sorry.”
Rossi chuckled. “No problem, Doctor.” Reid beamed, looking like he’d just been knighted
Hotch glanced toward the stairs, his tone calm but directive as usual. “Maybe you two can talk on the jet.”
Reid’s face lit up. “Oh, yeah, that’d be great.”
Rossi’s expression shifted into one of mild confusion, his brows knitting together. “The jet?” he echoed, his tone laced with disbelief.
Hotch smirked faintly, and for a moment, it seemed like he was recalling a similar scene - a bar, a year ago, and your reaction that had been almost identical. “We have a jet now.”
Rossi’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious?”
Oh, once he found out he wouldn’t have to share rooms with anyone, Rossi’s happiness would probably rival a kid who just discovered an unlimited supply of Halloween candy.
Hotch nodded, gesturing toward the briefing room. “It comes in pretty handy. Come on, JJ’s waiting.” He placed a hand on Rossi’s back, guiding him toward the stairs.
As they passed, you tilted your head slightly at Hotch, silently questioning why he hadn’t introduced you to Rossi himself. Sure, it wasn’t strictly necessary - Rossi knew you well enough - but still.
Hotch, always razor-sharp, caught your questioning look immediately. “Of course,” he said, his voice betraying just a hint of amusement. “This is Agent and Professor Y/L/N.” He paused just long enough to emphasize Professor, making it clear he wasn’t letting your academic credentials slide under the radar.
Agent and Professor.
As always, he made sure to introduce you like that whenever someone new was around. You were used to it now - your impressive international work, the years of research, everything that set you apart - but you still couldn’t help the little flush that rose on your cheeks.
Hotch was proud of you - more proud of your accomplishments than you’d ever admit to yourself - and he made sure to show it. And honestly, you suspected part of the reason he loved introducing you like that was to see you squirm just a little.
So you always called him Unit Chief in return - mostly to tease him, but also as a reminder that despite everything, he’d finally become exactly what he’d always wanted to be.
Rossi laughed, his grin widening. “Ah, here we go again with you two. Some things never change.”
The team started moving toward the stairs, but Prentiss hung back a step to sidle up next to you. Her voice dropped into an exaggerated mock-sweetness that could’ve melted glass. “You know, it’s actually kind of adorable. You and Hotch, solving crimes, finishing each other’s sentences, burning coffee together... It’s like the FBI version of a rom-com.”
You shot her a glare, opening your mouth to fire back, but before you could even get a word out, Morgan, who had somehow caught wind of the whole conversation despite being halfway up the stairs, glanced back over his shoulder and said. “Oh yeah, I’ve been waiting for this.”
He shook his head with exaggerated pity. “What I want to know,” he said, his voice dripping with fake sincerity, “is who made the first move? Was it Hotch? Was it all brooding and intense, like, ‘I need to talk… about us’?”
Prentiss couldn’t contain herself and burst into laughter. “Oh, I can totally hear it!” she exclaimed, doing her best imitation of Hotch’s deep, serious voice with flawless deadpan. “‘You’re a great agent, but I think it’s time we addressed the… tension… between us.’” She gave a dramatic pause and added, “Hotch, you dog.”
You were so mortified that you didn’t know whether to laugh or shove them both into the nearest broom closet to shut them up. “You two are insufferable. It’s like middle school in here.”
“Oh, come on,” Morgan teased, completely shameless. “You can’t deny it. I bet Hotch even did the Hotch stare. You know the one, intense, like, ‘This is non-negotiable, we need to talk about us.’” He paused, waggling his eyebrows in that way that made you want to crawl under the nearest desk.
Prentiss couldn’t hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing, clutching her stomach as she leaned into you. “I can see it now! ‘I’ve filled out the paperwork for us to move to the next phase - please initial here to confirm your feelings.’”
“Enough, please!” you begged. You weren’t sure if you were frustrated with your team, the teasing, or the sheer absurdity of the situation.
Just then, as if summoned from nowhere, Reid decided to chime in with his usual brand of earnestness. “Actually,” he started, eyes wide and eager, “if you analyze workplace dynamics, there’s often a statistically significant correlation between close professional relationships and perceived romantic tension-”
“Doc!” you snapped, your voice sharp as glass. The sound of your irritation immediately shut him up, though you could tell he was thoroughly enjoying the chaos, must have been the Halloween spirits…
Reid blinked, but then he quickly put his hands up in mock surrender. “Right. I’ll stop.” His lips twitched upward, an impish grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “For now,” he added, as if he couldn’t quite resist the urge to poke the bear just one more time.
“Thank you, I love you all” you muttered sarcastically, walking ahead and not even bothering to look back.
You’d made it to the briefing room, and for once, the usual teasing had quieted. Absurd how death did that, no amount of sarcasm or wit could overshadow the grim reality of murder. It was almost as if the case itself had sucked all the air out of the room, forcing everyone to remember that, yes, this was your job.
This wasn’t just paperwork and profiling.
People died.
People were tortured.
And in the blink of an eye, everything you thought mattered could be stripped away.
Funny, isn't it? How death puts things into perspective - suddenly, the world isn’t so big.
What was so important this morning?
A fight with your team members, a long list of cases? None of it would matter if you were lying cold on the floor somewhere.
It doesn’t matter how many cases you’ve worked, each one chips away at you, no matter how hard you try to harden yourself.
That’s the cruel beauty of this job: it’s a constant reminder.
Every time, it strips something away.
And today’s case? Well, today was no different.
Michelle Colucci from Carrollton, Texas, had received a flyer warning her that she’d soon go missing. The local detective, dismissing it as a Halloween prank, sent her home. But days later, when he went back to check on her, he found her lifeless.
Michelle had been sexually assaulted, her face surgically removed, and the Dallas County M.E. confirmed that she’d still been alive when she was dumped into the creek. It was torture - psychological and physical - and it was planned down to the last detail.
The unsub’s method was chillingly calculated. The flier, part of a twisted game, was designed to break Michelle before delivering the final blow. The "false face" mask left at the scene - a symbol worn during Halloween or Mardi Gras – probably was a grotesque mockery of Michelle’s identity.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, JJ dropped the last bombshell. “Oh, and Hotch - local media’s all over this. The story’s already broken big.”
Perfect.
Because who doesn’t love the media breathing down your neck, making sure you can’t even tie your shoes without a camera crew nearby? As if the job wasn’t already hard enough without everyone wanting a piece of your misery.
Hotch, however, didn’t seem to flinch. “Tell Carrollton we’ll be there first thing in the morning. Let’s stop this one at one.”
---
You didn’t stop this at one.
Just a few moments ago Eneid White, the second target, had called from the motel where she was hiding. Her voice, trembling and desperate, was still a haunting echo in your mind, you couldn’t get her out of your head.
It was the helplessness that got you.
The urgency was seared into every action, and Hotch handing you the keys to the SUV without hesitation was all the confirmation you needed – you needed to get there, fast.
And so, you drove.
Speed limits? Suggestions.
Stop signs? Inconveniences.
The streets blurred into streaks of light and shadow as you threaded the SUV through traffic with a precision that bordered on reckless, but at least never fully crossed the line – or so you thought.
Rossi, riding shotgun, eyed you warily as you floored the gas, the SUV surging forward like a bullet. “She’s not trying to qualify for the Indy 500, is she?” he muttered, gripping the door handle with exaggerated caution.
“She knows what she’s doing,” Hotch said firmly from the back seat, his tone steady, cutting through Rossi’s skepticism. “Take the next left, it’ll cut through the main drag.” Then he added “Eyes on the road.”
“Got it,” you replied, your grip tightening on the wheel as you spotted a ‘Do Not Enter’ sign looming ahead. A shortcut through a construction site was tempting, but the barriers and machinery cluttering the path made it clear this wasn’t meant for civilian traffic.
Still, hesitation barely registered.
You needed to save Eneid White.
They had to leave a road for the trucks transporting material, and in your book, any surface that could support tires qualified as a road.
“Don’t even think about it-” Rossi started, but you’d already made your decision.
“Shortcut,” you said plainly, steering the SUV through the gap in the barriers. Gravel crunched under the tires as the vehicle bounced over the uneven terrain. Dust clouded the air, obscuring visibility, but you still pressed forward.
There was no time.
“Shortcut,” Rossi repeated dryly, clutching his seatbelt as if it might save him. “You’re insane.” He muttered under his breath, gripping the door handle even tighter.
He’d probably said those exact words to Gideon a thousand times over the years they worked together, so he really shouldn’t have been so surprised that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.
Hotch leaned forward slightly, his gaze darting between you and the map in his hands. “Sharp turn coming up. Stick close to the left, you’ll avoid the worst of the debris.”
You followed his instructions without question. “Thanks, Unit Chief”
He didn’t miss a beat, he never did anyways. “Stay steady. You’ve got this.”
And so, as always, he called out directions, and you executed them as precise as you could.
As you burst out of the construction site and back onto the main road, Rossi muttered under his breath, “If we survive this, I’m buying her a GPS.”
“She doesn’t need one,” Hotch countered, a faint note of amusement in his voice.
As far as you were concerned, Hotch was already your trusted GPS.
Now the motel just within sight. The GPS chimed, but Hotch had already beaten it, pointing ahead. “We’re close. Pull in there.”
But as you turned into the lot, your stomach dropped. Despite breaking every law of the road, despite cutting through gravel and narrowly avoiding heavy machinery, you weren’t faster than the unsub.
The motel room was empty.
Eneid White was gone.
Fliers with her face were scattered across the bed, each one bearing the mocking question: “Have you seen me?”
The irony was suffocating.
Of course, you could see Eneid’s face - it was plastered everywhere, an unsub’s cruel hyperbole.
And this stirred something into you - what if the message wasn’t for those looking for the victims? What if it was meant for the victims themselves?
“Have you seen me?” Perhaps it wasn’t a warning, but a connection, a contact. The unsub’s way of forcing recognition, of ensuring he’d been seen, even if only for a fleeting moment.
The victims saw his face before he’d targeted them.
As you carefully gathered evidence from the room, you heard the detective outside, his frustration boiling over. “Twenty minutes. We were here in twenty minutes. I can’t believe we lost her!”
Hotch, ever the anchor in moments of chaos, tried to steady him with some logic. “We may not have lost her,” he said, his voice calm and measured. “He kept Michelle for four days.”
Deflect. De-escalate. Move forward.
All there in one sentence – his version of your ‘Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis’
“But we got nothing!” the detective snapped, his anger spilling over so forcefully that his words seemed to yank you from the room before you’d even made the conscious decision to step out.
Hotch didn’t falter, his tone firm but composed. “That’s not true. Look at the difference in the scenes.”
As you stepped into the open, your eyes landed on what had apparently become the new team tradition since the briefing on the jet - Rossi, head down, scribbling away in his precious notebook like he was on a deadline for the Pulitzer Prize instead of, you know, actually helping.
By now, you’d lost count of how many times you’d caught him at it today, but it was somewhere between “too many” and “are you serious right now?”
The frustration bubbling under your skin was quickly evolving into a sarcastic internal monologue worthy of Shakespeare, though if it reached James Joyce levels, you’d probably have kicked the man with your own boots just to put an end to it.
It was maddening.
You couldn’t even shoot the damn notebook out of his hands - no matter how tempting - because the paperwork for that would’ve been unbearable.
Paperwork had saved Rossi more than once today.
The detective pressed on, still unconvinced. “What do you mean? There’s the masks, the fliers-”
You glanced at Rossi, your patience wearing thinner than the pages of his notebook - which, at this point, you were certain had a name of Jason, because why else would he be so devoted to it?
But Rossi’s pen didn’t even pause.
Whatever profound nonsense he was jotting down seemed far more important than the actual conversation unfolding in front of him.
Prentiss, following you out of the room, she glanced at the evidence in your hands and finally spoke up herself. “Yeah, but these fliers weren’t tacked up on the wall. They were just thrown around the room.”
You nodded, seamlessly picking up her train of thought, though part of you was already imagining tossing Rossi and his precious notebook into the nearest evidence bag. “Mostly concentrated on the bed, with the rest scattered haphazardly across the floor. Some are even upside down, blank side up - no effort was made to ensure the message was visible, unlike the calculated placement we saw with Michelle Colucci.”
Prentiss gave you a small nod of agreement, her expression grim and focused. This was what it meant to stay on task, to prioritize the case above all else. You spared one last glance at Rossi, still glued to his notebook, as if the world around him didn’t exist.
The detective broke the silence, his frustration cutting through the tension. “So?!”
Hotch, ever the steady voice of reason, clarified the situation once more with the kind of authority that reminded you exactly why he was your favorite Unit Chief. “He left in a hurry, like he knew we were coming.”
Morgan came out of the room, holding up a phone. “Okay, this was under the bed,” he announced, his tone sharp, efficient. He flipped the device around to show the last number dialed. “972 area code.”
“That’s Carrollton,” the detective said quickly, stepping forward to take the phone from Morgan’s hand. “The hotline number.”
“She used a cell phone,” Prentiss added, her brow furrowing.
Morgan nodded, already filling in the blanks. “You can get a cell interceptor at any electronics store.”
The detective blinked at him, surprised. “You can?”
“Yeah,” Morgan confirmed. “They don’t cost that much. He probably sat right out here and heard everything she said.”
The detective rubbed his jaw, his confusion more than evident. “But if he followed her here from Dallas, why wait till she calls us to move on her?”
It was then, like some miracle out of nowhere, that Rossi finally raised his head from that damn notebook. You felt a spark of hope – finally - only for it to flicker and die as his gaze met the detective’s for half a second before dropping back to his scribbling.
Amazing.
Before you could even sigh, your voice came out, somehow you managed to stay calm and firm. “To make sure it was the police who found the mask.”
What a professional.
It was too late for Rossi to catch your disappointed glare you aimed at him, which was a shame because this one was a masterpiece - one of your finest, perfected over years of dealing with ignorant assholes.
And Rossi? Oh, he was currently one of the finest examples of that category.
But, if you were being honest, he wasn’t the only one grating on your last nerve.
You knew Hotch had noticed Rossi’s behavior - of course he had.
His eyes had flicked from you to Rossi to the detective, his jaw tightening ever so slightly in that telltale way that screamed disapproval. You half-expected him to step in, to say something sharp and cutting that would snap Rossi out of his detached aloofness.
But nothing.
Not a word.
His silence was almost as infuriating as Rossi’s scribbling.
At least you got some mileage out of it, directing a few of your most honed disappointed looks at Hotch. Sure, he wasn’t the primary target, but it was better than letting them go to waste.
“We need to gather your men and deliver the profile,” Hotch said to the detective, his tone leaving no room for debate. Without waiting for a response - or the lack thereof - he was already heading toward the SUVs, his stride purposeful and unyielding.
You followed, your steps brisk, each one fueled by the simmering frustration you couldn’t seem to shake.
It was bad enough that Rossi had spent the entire day buried in that infuriating little notebook of his, detached from the team as though this case were some solo act.
But what stung worse - what really churned beneath your skin - was that Hotch hadn’t said a damn word about it.
Hotch climbed into the SUV first advantaged by his hideously long legs, his movements steady and composed, as if the tension of the day hadn’t so much as brushed him. He settled into the passenger seat without a glance back, his calmness only heightening the storm brewing inside you.
You slid into the driver’s side, gripping the wheel hard enough that the leather creaked faintly under your hands.
In the rearview mirror, you caught sight of Rossi strolling leisurely toward Morgan and Prentiss’s SUV, his gait so maddeningly casual it made your teeth clench.
No urgency.
Not even a backward glance.
It felt like a slap, though you weren’t entirely sure why.
Maybe it was the way he walked off without a second thought, or maybe it was the silence that had followed - Hotch’s silence. The kind of silence that spoke louder than words, that implied he was choosing not to address the behavior you’d been biting your tongue about all day.
The door to your side slammed shut harder than you intended, the sound reverberating through the SUV like the snap of a thread stretched too tight. You didn’t even realize how sharp your movements were until you glanced sideways and saw Hotch watching you, his expression calm as usual but his eyes far too knowing.
“Something on your mind?” he asked, his voice even, quiet.
Too quiet.
Like he was already bracing for the storm he could feel rolling in.
His question lit a spark, and that spark found the fuel you’d been holding back all day. “Oh, so you noticed?!” you shot back, starting the engine with a rough turn of the key. “You’re seriously not going to say anything to him?”
“Say what, exactly?” Hotch’s tone remained even, his gaze fixed ahead.
Now he had to be playing dumb.
Which, of course, he wasn’t.
You’d first liked him because he was clever - clever in a way that few people ever were.
You scoffed, throwing the SUV into gear. “I don’t know, maybe something about the fact that he’s been scribbling in that notebook all day, completely checked out, and now he just decides to ditch us? That doesn’t bother you?”
Hotch exhaled slowly, his voice still hilariously calm but firm. “Rossi’s actions haven’t jeopardized the team. There’s no reason to call him out over something minor.”
You wanted to slap that Unit Chief in the face so bad right now…
“Minor?” Your voice rose slightly, disbelief laced in every syllable. “It’s disrespectful, Hotch. To you, to me, to the team. He’s supposed to be contributing, not playing the wise old sage with his notebook. I even tried to talk to him earlier, but he pretended I didn’t even exist. And now you’re just letting it slide?”
Hotch turned toward you then, his gaze sharp and steady, with his innate ability to make it piercing enough to catch your breath. “I don’t need to say anything unless his actions jeopardize the team or the case. That’s the job. His behavior doesn’t warrant a confrontation.”
Your grip tightened on the wheel, the hard leather pressing into your palms as something deeper and more dangerous than frustration combusted fiercely through you. “I’m not necessarily asking you to step in as his Unit Chief. I’m asking you as the only other person here who’s worked with him before. You know him better than I do. Your words might actually mean something to him.”
His eyes narrowed, his voice dropping to a low, measured tone that carried more weight than volume. “That’s where you’re wrong. My words hold more weight than yours here. I carry the full responsibility for this team.”
Bastard. Absolute bastard.
Hotch’s gaze flicked toward you briefly before settling back on the road, his profile hard as granite. “There is a hierarchy, and there always has been. Even back in 1998, you understood that. You were respectful of authority, even hesitant to speak up sometimes. What happened to that? Where did it go?”
“Where did it go?” you snapped, your voice rising just slightly. Unlike him, you hadn’t mastered the art of lowering your voice the angrier you got. “It went somewhere between Rossi acting like he’s still a lone wolf profiler and you pulling rank on me instead of actually listening to what-”
“Oh no,” he interrupted, his tone cutting through your words, deadlier than a guillotine during the French Revolution. “Don’t talk to me like this. You wouldn’t act this way if it were anyone else in my position. You’re taking liberties with me - ones you wouldn’t dare take with someone else, and you know it.”
Your knuckles blanched as they gripped the wheel. “Because we’re partners, Aaron-”
“Hotch.” The correction was immediate, clipped, and cold.
Hotch?! With you?! Since when exactly?!
Fucker. Absolute fucker.
You fought the urge to slam the brakes or swing the car into a sharp turn – anything to vent the hot, simmering frustration rising inside you.
He was lucky you were driving.
Smart move on his part, but not smart enough. “We’re partners, and I would like to expect some confrontation when it’s needed. I’m not saying you have to agree with me all the time, but right now, it seems that you’re shutting me out just as much as he is.”
“I’m not shutting you out,” he said firmly, as if he hadn’t just corrected you a few moments ago, insisting you use his work name. “And partners or not, there’s still a chain of command. I don’t address things that don’t need to be addressed. What Rossi’s doing isn’t breaking any rules. It’s the law, plain and simple.”
“The law,” you muttered bitterly, shaking your head. “That’s always the answer, isn’t it?”
“It is,” he said, unflinching. “That’s how this works.”
You glanced at him briefly, your frustration morphing into something sharper, something deeper. “You’re confusing what’s just with what’s lawful. They’re not the same thing. The law tells you what’s allowed, but ethics - ethics tell you what’s right.”
Hotch’s gaze turned toward you again, steady but edged with a challenge that sent heat prickling up your spine. “And tell me, who decides what’s right? You?”
Your mom Hotch, your mom.
“No,” you shot back, your voice snapping like a whip as you met his gaze head-on. “You. Me. Everyone. We each decide what’s just because ethics come from within. It’s what we’ve learned, what we value, what we believe. It’s shaped by experience, compassion… things the law doesn’t account for. And for the record what really frustrates me is that I can tell you agree with me. You just won’t let yourself act on it.”
Hotch’s brow arched, skepticism etched into every line of his face. His tone was cool, but there was something taut beneath it “And you think personal ethics are enough to run a team? That everyone’s individual sense of ‘what’s right’ is enough?”
You saw him roll his eyes in the rearview mirror, a small flick of dismissal that sent heat roaring in your chest. But at least he didn’t interrupt you this time. It was probably time to educate him apparently, even if he didn’t deserve your philosophy right now. “Sophocles wrote entire tragedies about the consequences of blindly following the law without considering ethics,”
You continued, as convinced as before. “Antigone - she buries her brother against the law because it’s the right thing to do. Justice isn’t just about rules, Hotch. It’s about doing what’s right. There’s a line between what is legal and what is just. Creon followed the law to the letter, but it was Antigone who understood what was right. Blindly following the law doesn’t absolve you of moral responsibility. If we’re not questioning what’s just, then what’s the point of any of this?”
Hotch exhaled through his nose, the sound low and weighted, and turned his gaze forward again, his jaw tight as though he were biting back something far harsher. “We’re not philosophers. We’re law enforcement. If we start ignoring the law, where does it stop?”
“It stops when we stop pretending the law is infallible,” you countered, heat lacing every word.
“The law is the only thing standing between order and chaos.” His voice was cool, measured, but the tension coiling beneath it felt dangerous, like a fuse inching toward its end.
You turned toward him fully now, your pulse hammering in your throat. Your voice dropped, quieter but heavy, almost trembling with the force of it. “Fuck the law.”
Your eloquence always found the way out of you when you were seriously angry.
Fuck him.
His head snapped toward you, his eyes flashing with something that wasn’t just anger, something worse. His face was carved in stone, but his eyes… his eyes burned. His jaw tightened further, the muscle flexing there, and the air between you thickened so much that it was a miracle you both still managed to breathe. Though your breaths came a little too fast, a little too shallow, and yet you couldn’t seem to look away, even as both of your pulses quickened against your will. “You don’t mean that.”
You scoffed, your focus snapping back to the road, but the way your hands gripped the wheel betrayed the crackling storm beneath your skin. “I do mean it. If the law lets Rossi sit there scribbling in his notebook while the rest of us are busting our asses, then maybe it’s time to question what the hell we’re actually enforcing.”
Hotch didn’t respond immediately.
The silence felt like the stillness before a storm, heavy and waiting. “I’ll handle Rossi if and when his actions compromise the team or the case. Until then, you need to focus on what’s in front of you.”
What exactly?!
Him? The road?
The fierce, irrational desire to pull over and tell him to take the rest of the miles on foot, just so you didn’t have to keep feeling the heat of his presence pressing against your skin?
Or maybe, the even fiercer, more maddening part of you that wanted to slam on the brakes for a different reason altogether.
“That’s the problem,” you bit out. “Rossi is the problem. And by brushing this off, you’re part of it.”
Your words hung in the air, daring him to respond.
His silence burned, every second of it pushing against your restraint until his voice came, calm but edged with something razor-sharp. “You think you’re the only one who notices these things? I see everything. Every tension, every hesitation, every misstep. It’s my job to decide when to act, not yours.”
No, it was definitely him.
And the road.
And everything in between.
Your foot slammed the brakes at the stoplight, the SUV jerking forward before settling. You turned toward him, your breath uneven, your chest tight. “Then decide, Hotch. Because the longer you let Rossi pull this crap, the more respect you lose - from the team. And from me.”
Fuck him.
His lips pressed into a razor-thin line, his shoulders taut, every inch of him controlled as though holding himself back from snapping. When he spoke, his voice was low, biting. “That’s enough.”
“Is it?” you challenged, twisting in your seat to fully face him. The air between you felt like fire, licking at the edges, threatening to consume. “Because I’ve had enough of watching you protect him like he’s untouchable.”
His voice dropped lower. “Focus on the case, Y/N. People are being murdered.”
Technically it was just a victim now, there was no reason for him to use the plural.
Uncultured.
Fuck him.
“You’re shifting the focus of the conversation,” you retorted, the words tearing through the few inches of space between your seats.
“Y/N.” His voice cut through the air, sharp, laced with a warning that carried the weight of absolute, every meaning layered within it.
The probabilities of stepping into a place neither of you could return from were far too high, and you both knew it.
And so, you drove.
---
Apparently, your frustration was contagious, Hotch was certain of it.
The lead detective’s exasperation was as palpable as the tension in the room, radiating out like a second heartbeat. “So how the hell do we catch an invisible man?”
Hotch, standing tall and composed, responded. “I’m pretty sure we can get him to contact you.”
The detective’s skepticism was immediate, his brows furrowing deeply. “What?!”
Prentiss stepped in, her voice steady and explanatory, trying to ease his doubts. “The crime scenes show he wants to deliver his message to the police. He isn’t going public.”
Hotch turned toward the group of officers gathered nearby, his gaze briefly flicking to the television up in the corner where a news anchor droned on. “Hopefully, by playing on his anger...” His words trailed off as his eyes locked onto the screen.
The mask.
Hotch’s jaw tightened.
There it was - the one detail they had deliberately withheld, the key piece that gave them an advantage. It was the only thing that hadn’t been shared with the public, the detail he had explicitly instructed everyone to keep confidential.
“JJ, how’d they get that?” His voice was a low whisper, his hand gesturing toward the screen in disbelief.
JJ looked stricken, her words tumbling out in hurried defense. “Not from me. I-Hotch, I called all the local police departments, and I stressed withholding the mask.”
He knew it wasn’t JJ’s fault.
He wasn’t even looking at her.
His eyes stayed fixed on the screen, as if willing the image to vanish, willing this mistake to undo itself. Instead, the camera lingered on the mask, leaving no doubt.
The media had everything.
“I called them,” Rossi’s voice cut through the moment like a razor, its nonchalant tone infuriatingly casual.
What?
“What?” The word escaped him as a whisper, his disbelief palpable.
“I said,” Rossi repeated, turning toward the team with the air of a professor unveiling a lecture’s climax, “the FBI thinks the masks mean” he paused, a smirk curling his lips as he gestured toward the screen “he’s impotent.”
He didn’t just say that.
“Can I speak to you for a second?” Hotch’s voice was barely audible, clipped and strained, as he turned sharply on his heel and began walking.
He didn’t stop until they reached a small room off the main precinct floor. As soon as the door closed, he rounded on Rossi, his composure cracking at the edges. “Why would you do that?”
Rossi leaned casually against the table, his arms crossed. “It’ll make him contact us. He’s screaming for it.”
Hotch inhaled slowly, keeping his voice even. “We aren’t prepared.”
“Prepared?” Rossi repeated, his tone dripping with condescension.
“We need to set up a trap and trace,” he clarified, his voice tighter now.
Rossi smirked, an insufferable little quirk of his lips that made Hotch’s blood pressure rise incrementally. “Trap and trace?” Rossi scoffed, raising his shoulders as if the suggestion were some rookie mistake. “They never stay on the phone long enough for that.”
Oh, for God’s sake.
Hotch pressed his lips together, exhaling slowly to keep his composure.
If you were there, Rossi would already be halfway through a philosophical evisceration.
He could almost hear it in his head, the way you’d dismantle Rossi’s overconfidence with the precision of the most skilled surgeon. Something about “hubris being the downfall of great men,” probably referencing some obscure Greek tragedy, and then tying it back to his blatant disregard for teamwork.
And if that didn’t work?
Hotch glanced briefly at Rossi’s smug expression.
You would just talk in ancient Greek.
No, better.
You’d just kick him. Right there, where it hurts most, to make sure he matches the unsub’s supposed impotence for the full-circle effect you loved so much.
“Dave, they’re a lot faster than they used to be,” Hotch managed, his voice firm but even.
Keep it together.
Keep it professional.
Not everyone handles things with Socratic debates and well-placed footwear.
“We also need to prep the detective on what to say to him.” He continued, trying his best to not imagine Rossi helplessly trying to crawl out of the room.
But Rossi didn’t even flinch. “He’s not gonna want to talk to the detective. He’s gonna want to talk to the FBI.”
Hotch stared at him, weighing his words carefully.
Deflect. De-escalate. Move forward.
He couldn’t kick Rossi - obviously. There were rules, laws… but you would have found a way to argue that kicking Rossi was just, spinning it into one of your infuriatingly flawless philosophical dissections.
Damn you.
Damn you and your insufferable ability to shred his logic to pieces, leaving him grasping at the tatters of his own arguments.
Damn you because no matter how idealistically abstract your reasoning was, he hated how much it made sense - and worse, how it made him agree with you.
Always with that maddening certainty, as if you’d been put on Earth solely to torment him.
You had no business being in his head right now.
None.
And yet, there you were, smugly perched in the back of his mind, as if you’d claimed permanent residence.
Get her out of your head, Hotchner.
You weren’t even here, and still, he couldn’t escape you.
It was infuriating, really, but he refocused. “We don’t step over the local police like that.”
“They called us in,” Rossi countered, his tone dripping with indifference.
“Yes,” Hotch replied, his voice taking on a sharper edge. Why was he picturing you glaring at Rossi like he was the last man at the base of the food pyramid? “But if the perception is that we’re here to embarrass the locals by telling the media we’re going to fix things, then they’ll stop calling us.”
“Relax, Hotch. I’ve got this,” Rossi said, his confidence unshaken.
Hotch resisted the urge to rub his temples. He could already hear your scathing commentary in his head, something about Rossi’s arrogance being so immense it was practically a separate entity. “You see, that’s the problem, Dave. There is no I. We function as a team.”
Rossi straightened slightly, his smirk fading but his tone turning defensive. “I’ve been doing this before you were out of high school. Probably before the rest of your team was in school at all.”
“I know that,” Hotch replied, his voice lowering as he met Rossi’s gaze directly. “Things have changed.”
Rossi’s eyes narrowed. “The bells and whistles changed. An unsub is still an unsub, and I know how to deal with an unsub.”
Jesus.
“No, Dave,” Hotch said softly, leaning forward slightly, “it’s not just that.”
Whatever Hotch intended to say next was cut off as JJ appeared in the doorway, her expression urgent. “Hotch. Garcia just found something.”
---
The three hours of flight back from Texas were probably the longest of Aaron Hotchner’s career - or at least, they felt that way.
The tension between you hung in the air like heavy smoke, thick and suffocating, smothering even the steady hum of the jet’s engines. It lingered, stubborn and unyielding, because neither of you addressed the argument from the car.
As professionals, you both knew better.
Eneid White’s life had been on the line, and neither of you would risk jeopardizing that over something as trivial - or as personal - as a fight.
So, you sat at opposite ends of the jet, heads bowed over paperwork, the silence between you crackling with the kind of precision only years of practiced restraint - and an almost artful expertise in avoidance - could ever achieve.
He stole glances at you every so often, but you never looked up, your pen moving with relentless determination across the pages. Hotch tried to focus on his own work, but the case wouldn’t leave him - not yet, not completely.
For him, it wasn’t over.
Not by a long shot.
The argument you’d had in the car still lingered in his mind, gnawing at him like an open wound, and he did what he always did best - turned the guilt inward.
It wasn’t just that he’d mishandled Rossi, he’d let the tension between you fester, unchecked. And the thought of what could have happened - what might have been lost if they hadn’t found Eneid White in time - haunted him more than it should have, more than the profession allowed.
Deflect. De-escalate. Move forward. Now, though, it felt more like: second-guess, overthink, ruminate.
He’d replayed at least a dozen other scenarios in his mind, each one ending in tragedy, knowing full well it was sheer luck that led them to the unsub’s house instead of some remote hiding place.
If he couldn’t rewrite what had happened during the case, he could at least try to mend things with you.
He had to.
So, Hotch rose from his seat and made his way to the kitchenette.
The soft clink of mugs and the quiet hiss of the kettle punctuated the stillness of the jet, breaking the silence that came with the others fast asleep - all except for you and Hotch, and probably Rossi, who was either feigning sleep or doing his best to convince himself he was.
The usual night owls.
He opened the small drawer where you kept your tea and pulled out the packet of your beloved poison, the one you insisted you couldn’t function without. He prepared two cups, sneaking a spoonful of sugar into his own to dull the bitterness - a betrayal you’d undoubtedly call him out on, possibly with a well-aimed kick, if you ever found out.
As he approached, the faint sound of his steps or the distinct aroma of your tea drew your attention.
Your eyes flicked up, and without a word, he set the cup in front of you, the steam curling up like a quiet offering. “I know you like to torture yourself when you’re doing paperwork,” he said quietly. “Didn’t want to deprive you of the tradition.”
Your lips twitched, but whether it was amusement or annoyance, he still couldn’t tell.
“And why are you torturing yourself as well?” you asked, gesturing to the second cup in his hand.
“Can I sit?” he asked, tilting his head toward the empty seat across from you.
You returned your attention to your file, your tone dry as you said, “You’re my superior. I think you can sit wherever you want.” The mockery in your voice stung, a bitter echo of his own stupid words from the car.
Hotch hesitated for a moment before lowering himself into the seat across from you. He set his own cup down and clasped his hands around it, the warmth seeping into his palms, hoping that it could ground the part of his mind that was already playing the worst-case scenario.
You, gone. Him, alone. As it should.
His eyes flicked up to meet yours briefly before glancing away.
No, maybe there was still hope.
“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he admitted finally.
You didn’t look up, your pen still scratching against the paper. “But you did. Because that’s what you really think, isn’t it?” Your tone was clipped, cool, but there was an edge of something else, disappointment, maybe. “You’ve never put yourself above any of us before. So why start now? Was it because someone wasn’t respecting your authority? Because it made you question your ability to lead in the first place?”
You immediately continued, laying bare the reasons he’d imposed that golden rule against profiling each other in the first place. “Do you really think they made you lead profiler back then just because Rossi wasn’t around? That it wasn’t earned but convenient? And when Gideon left, do you think they made you Unit Chief out of necessity, not because you were the best fit? Is that why you said those things to me? Because in your mind, my actions - or Rossi’s - are just proof that the voices in your head are right? That if I argue with you, it’s because I don’t think you should be my boss? God forbid there could be another reason, any reason besides that. Am I wrong?”
The words hit him squarely, their accuracy cutting deeper than he wanted to admit. He swallowed hard, the weight of them settling like lead in his chest. “You’re not,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, tinged with regret.
You set the pen down, leaning back in your chair, arms crossing as you shook your head. “Aaron,” you said, your voice softer now, “I swear, one day I’m going to find a way to get inside your head and shut those voices up for good. You’re good enough. Hell, you’re the best. So?”
He didn’t speak immediately, his lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, you wondered if he would deflect again, but then, he exhaled, a slow, measured breath, and lifted his eyes to meet yours. There was something raw there, something so unguarded. “So,” he said, his voice low, deliberate, “what if I feel like the worst? What if I question every decision, every choice, because I know what happens if I get it wrong?”
You leaned forward slightly, your arms resting on the edge of the table, “Then you’re human, Aaron. You’re human, and that’s exactly what makes you the best. Because you don’t take this lightly. Because you care enough to question yourself, to carry the weight even when it’s too much. But that doesn’t mean you have to carry it alone and let your head eat you alive like that”
He shook his head, a faint, self-deprecating smile flickering across his lips. “But that’s not how it works. It’s my job to make the calls, to take responsibility. If I can’t do that-”
“You can,” you interrupted firmly, your tone cutting through his doubts like a blade. “And you do. Every single day. But you don’t have to shut your team out to do it. We’re here for a reason, Aaron. We’re here because we trust you. Because we believe in you. Not because you’re perfect, but because you’re the kind of leader who doesn’t need to be.”
He looked at you, his expression unreadable for a long moment, and then he leaned back slightly, his hands still cradling the mug. “You make it sound easy.”
“It’s not,” you said, your tone softening but no less resolute. “But you don’t have to make it harder than it already is. And for the record?” You leaned back in your chair, your eyes locking with his. “I don’t argue with you because I doubt you. I argue because I trust you enough to know you can handle it. That’s what this is about. Not authority, not rank. Trust.”
His lips quirked into a faint smile, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly. “Trust is dangerous in this line of work.”
"Maybe," you said with a small shrug, your own smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. "But it’s what we’ve got. And you’ve earned every bit of it, Aaron. Even when you drive me so insane to make me seriously consider leaving you on the side of the road to enjoy a scenic three-hour stroll back to the precinct."
Hotch shook his head slightly, damned you and your way you used your words with him. “It’s a shame you’re not as meticulous with your paperwork as you are with handling feelings.”
You straightened in your seat, narrowing your eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Your paperwork was impeccable - tedious, sure, but flawless.
Hotch’s lips twitched, and he leaned forward slightly, his finger tapping against the report on your desk. “You missed a semicolon.”
“That’s impossible,” you replied flatly, immediately flipping through the pages to find the supposed error. “I don’t miss semicolons.”
“Right there,” he said, pointing to a line near the bottom of one of the pages, his hand almost brushing against your frame. Damn you and the fact that you had to make mistakes in the most inconvenient places.
You leaned closer, scrutinizing the line he’d indicated, and he swore he could feel your breath on the skin of his hand. “That’s because I got distracted,” you declared, leaning back in your seat, far from him.
Thank God.
“Distracted by what?” Hotch asked, one brow raising slightly.
“By you committing a cardinal sin in the kitchenette,” you said, crossing your arms. “I caught you. Adding sugar to your tea. That’s blasphemy.”
Really?
Hotch blinked at you, clearly not expecting you to have spider sense for your tea, or maybe for him. “I needed something to make it drinkable,” he countered, raising his mug to take another sip. His nose scrunched almost immediately, and he set the mug down with a quiet thud. “God, it’s still terrible. How is that even possible?”
You leaned forward – no, not again, go back, go back “Next time, try it with milk,” you added, your tone lighter now, a teasing smile playing on your lips.
“Milk?” Hotch repeated, his expression turning skeptical. “That’s your solution?”
You shrugged, your smirk widening. “It works for the British… I doubt I will still talk to you if I ever catch you doing that”
Hotch shook his head again. Damn you and your philosophical dilemmas. “Then I’ll consider it,” he said finally, a trace of humor threading through his voice. “But only if you fix that semicolon.”
You smirked, setting your pen down on the table and sliding it toward him. “Go ahead, fix it yourself. You’ve been staring at it so long, I can tell it’s driving you crazy.”
Little did you know…
He picked up the pen with deliberate slowness, as if testing whether it might bite, then flipped the paper over and scanned the line in question. With a precise flick of his wrist, he added the missing semicolon, his lips curling into a quiet, triumphant smirk. “There.”
“Great,” you said, reaching out to take the paper back. But he smoothly pulled it just out of reach, his smirk deepening.
“Hold on,” he said, the faint amusement in his tone far too evident for your liking. His eyes skimmed further down the page. “Let’s see what other treasures we can uncover here.”
“Hotch, give it back,” you warned, narrowing your eyes.
But he ignored you, his brow furrowing slightly as he focused on something you’d written. Without hesitation, he drew a deliberate line through a sentence. “This,” he said, tapping the now-crossed-out words with the pen – your pen, “is too much. What are you trying to do here? Write a dissertation on behavioral patterns?”
He didn’t.
You must be hallucinating.
Your jaw dropped. “I don’t see how it’s wrong.”
He flipped the pen between his fingers, the motion maddeningly casual. “It’s not wrong,” he conceded, leaning back slightly, “but it’s definitely a little… philosophical for a field report.” He leaned closer despite himself, reading aloud “‘The unsub’s detachment reflects a broader existential isolation, a symptom of moral erosion rooted in-’”
You lunged across the table, your hand grabbing for the paper. “Aaron!”
He leaned back in his chair, holding it just out of your reach with the ease of someone far too used to fending off such attempts after two whole years of desk sharing. “No,” he said, his tone light and teasing, his eyes gleaming. “I’m not missing the chance to correct the Professor. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“They’re not mistakes!” you argued, your voice edged with exasperation. “They’re creative liberties!”
Damn you and how you always wanted to be right.
Hotch tapped the pen against the crossed-out section again, shaking his head slightly as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was about to read aloud. “Creative liberties? That’s not a liberty. That’s a thesis.” He arched a brow and glanced at you with a faint smirk. “How exactly does quoting Plato help us close cases faster?”
“It’s not Plato,” you shot back, but he was already reading.
He smirked as he scanned the next paragraph aloud. “‘The unsub’s selection of a blank mask serves as an emblem of erasure, a deliberate rejection of individuality in pursuit of an abstract anonymity. Yet, his compulsion to inscribe the surface with his own handwriting disrupts this facade, transforming the mask into a paradox: a vessel meant to obscure, now imbued with personal significance. This duality reveals a psyche at war with itself, striving to efface identity while simultaneously asserting it - a fractured self grappling with the irrepressible human need to leave an indelible mark.’”
Brilliant.
He set the paper down and looked at you, one brow still quirked. “Deep. Poetic, even. Were you planning to submit this to a psychology journal, or were you hoping the prosecutor would use it as an opening statement?”
You leaned back in your seat, completely unfazed by his sarcasm. “Fine,” you said, lifting your chin slightly. “The unsub uses a blank mask to suggest anonymity but undermines that intent by writing on it in his own handwriting. His actions reflect a contradiction between his desire for detachment and his need for recognition.”
Not your style, definitely.
Hotch tilted his head, considering this. “That’s perfect.”
“That’s boring,” you shot back. “It sounds like something a lawyer would say.”
His lips quirked into a smile, his voice low. “You mean someone like me?”
“Exactly - boring.” you said, jabbing your finger in his direction.
His lips twitched into a small smile, but he didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he leaned forward slightly, again, resting his forearms on the table. “And yet, boring or not, it conveys the same point without sounding like it belongs in a lecture hall.”
“Maybe,” you admitted grudgingly, crossing your arms. “But where’s the humanity in that? The nuance?”
Hotch’s smile widened just a fraction, his eyes flicking back to the report in his hand. “You think the prosecutor or the detective cares about nuance?”
If he still were one, he would.
“Maybe not,” you admitted, leaning forward now too, your elbows braced on the table. “But nuance is what gets us inside their heads. It’s how we understand them. It’s why we’re even called in the first place.”
His gaze softened slightly and so did his voice “You’re not wrong,” he said quietly, his tone almost reluctant, like it pained him to admit it.
“You know?! You should say that more often” you quipped, unable to resist a smirk.
His reply came almost instinctively, before he could think better of it. “What? That you’re right? Or that I notice when you are?”
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard, but thankfully quickly recovered. "Oh, shut up," you muttered, leaning back in your chair, trying to mask the faint flush he caught in your cheeks.
He pretended he didn’t see it. “’Shut up’?! Maybe I wasn’t wrong when I said you have a problem with authority,” he said instead.
You raised an eyebrow, keeping your gaze steady on him. “I don’t have a problem with authority,” you replied, your voice smooth, almost playful. “I have a problem with you, Hotch.”
He chuckled softly, that deep, warm sound that always seemed to settle somewhere deep in your chest. “Oh really? What exactly do you have a problem with?”
You leaned forward slightly, your elbows on the table again, eyes narrowing with mock suspicion. “I don’t understand some things about you still.” You let the words hang in the air, giving him a knowing look.
His expression shifted, something darker flashing behind his eyes for a moment before the usual, controlled Hotch returned. “Oh? And what exactly don’t you understand?”
“I went to your office the other day… tell me, why exactly does Hegel for Dummies have a broken spine?” you asked, your tone a little too casual, as if you hadn’t just delivered a question that made his stomach drop faster than a lead balloon.
Hotch fought the urge to wince.
Maybe he shouldn’t have left it out on his desk in plain sight.
Maybe the bright, cartoonish cover with its garish yellow accents wasn’t the best choice for a desk otherwise populated with leather-bound case files and stark black notebooks.
And maybe he should’ve remembered that you noticed everything.
He considered himself a smart man, but clearly, he’d overlooked the obvious.
And so his gaze softened, his lips curving into a small smile that just showed his dimples. “Maybe because it reminds me of my best friend - the one I never thought I’d get the chance to see again if you’d asked me a year ago, Europe” he said, his voice low, almost wistful.
You had asked for it. Relentless in your pursuit of the truth, always demanding it without compromise. So, he handed it to you - direct, unvarnished, right in your face.
For a moment, you just stared at him, the warmth of his confession settling between you like an unspoken truth - but one that was far from unwritten after six long years of correspondence. “You can’t just say something like that,” you said finally, your voice quieter, almost teasing to mask how deeply it had landed. “It’s not fair. I can’t argue with sentimental declarations. That’s cheating.”
Hotch leaned forward slightly, his smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, his voice dropping into that low, teasing register you now rarely heard on the job. “Maybe that’s the point,” he murmured. “Throw you off balance. You’re always so quick with your comebacks, it’s nice seeing you pause for once.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, the playful spark in your tone returning as you shook your head. “That’s evil. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Hotch, the Unit Chief, chuckeld – music to your ears “Oh, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve,” he replied, leaning back again, his smirk insufferable.
“I take it back,” you said, crossing your arms and narrowing your eyes. “I officially hate you.”
You officially loved seeing glimpses of the Hotch you used to share a desk with back in ’98.
Hotch tilted his head slightly. “Now, that’s just ungrateful,” he said, his tone laced with humor. “You’re going to have to make up your mind about me eventually.”
Oh how much you hated him.
Before you could fire back, he stood, moving with deliberate precision. Leaning over the table, he gestured to a spot on the paper you were working on, his hand brushing a little too close to yours - close enough that it almost felt intentional, though he knew better than to let it linger.
His fingers wrapped around the pen you'd set down, as if it were his own. "You even missed the horizontal stroke of the ‘t’ right here," he pointed out, his voice calm, almost teasing, as he tapped the offending error.
But he didn’t wait for your reaction. Without missing a beat, he straightened and turned, heading back to his seat on the opposite side of the plane, still holding the pen, silent victory.
You didn’t notice at first, too blinded by the lingering irritation, which only made it more amusing for him. “You’re never hearing another word from me,” you declared finally, your tone firm, though the frustration beneath it felt almost hollow. “Not ever again.”
From his seat, he didn’t even glance up from the paper he was now just pretending to read. “Good luck keeping that promise,” he replied, his voice laced with quiet amusement.
It took you all of five seconds to realize the pen in his hand was yours. Your gaze snapped to him, narrowing. “Hotch,” you called, your voice sharp. “Give it back.”
Hotch didn’t even try to hide the smirk that tugged at his lips as he looked up, holding your pen like it was some kind of victory flag. “Told you so,” he said, his voice light with triumph.
Fuck him.
--- As soon as they returned from Texas, Rossi wasted no time.
He strode directly into Hotch’s office, and Hotch, who had just settled at his desk, glanced up from the files he was reviewing, his brow knitting slightly in surprise.
“You said out there,” Rossi began, his voice calm but carrying an edge, “the team shares everything.”
“That’s right,” Hotch replied, standing from his chair, his posture stiffening slightly as if his body knew before him what was coming.
“There is no I?” Rossi pressed, his gaze unwavering.
Hotch nodded, his confusion mounting. “That’s right.” Where was Rossi going with this?
“It seems a big thing to withhold,” Rossi continued, his tone measured but cutting. “Separating from your wife, your child.”
Excuse him?
“What are you talking about?” Hotch asked, though he already suspected where this was heading. He needed to hear Rossi say it, to confirm - or hope against hope that he was wrong.
“We’ve been together 48 hours,” Rossi said, his voice low but unrelenting. “I haven’t seen you call Haley. Not even once. You haven’t mentioned her. And you’re not going home now.”
Great.
Rossi paused, his gaze drifting through the blinds toward the bullpen. You were there, leaning over a file on Reid’s desk, likely double-checking that every ‘t’ had its proper horizontal stroke. His expression softened, just a touch, before he turned back to Hotch. “And yet, you’re so protective of her. Always watching, making sure she’s okay. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you still look at her.”
‘Still’?
Now that was a stretch, wasn’t it?!
Before Rossi could say more, Hotch cut him off, his voice sharp, defensive. “What’s your point?”
Rossi didn’t flinch. “I guess you’re just not used to sharing.”
He was currently sharing his house with his best friend, but if he mentioned that to Rossi, it would undoubtedly be twisted into some wildly inaccurate interpretation.
Hotch’s jaw tightened further, his words clipped as he countered, “My private life is not the same as a case.”
Rossi tilted his head slightly, considering that for a moment. Then, with a faint shrug, he said, “I’m just saying, sharing is a learned skill.”
Rossi continued, his tone shifting to something more reminiscent. “You know... when this all started... there were only a few of us. We’d go out on the road alone. We didn’t... groupthink.”
“We don’t groupthink,” Hotch shot back, his voice firm, his eyes narrowing. “We think as individuals, and we share the thoughts with the rest of the team. We don’t write them down in a little notebook and keep them to ourselves.”
As Hotch watched Rossi leave, he caught himself staring down at his hands, his thumb absently brushing over the smooth band of his wedding ring.
It was still there.
The gesture was instinctual, one he’d repeated countless times before, especially when his mind was a storm of noise and chaos.
The weight of the ring was subtle, almost imperceptible, yet its presence remained undeniable. It tethered him - anchored him - to something he couldn’t fully release, even as its meaning progressively seemed to slip further from his grasp.
Logic, he recalled from your notes on stoicism - notes he’d skimmed out of curiosity or irony - was the art of aligning language with reality.
The Stoics believed that a proposition was true when it accurately reflected the environment it described.
Hotch is married.
The statement, so simple, so definitive, had once been unshakably true.
It was true because there was a subject, Hotch - Aaron Hotchner - sitting here, and because there was an object - the ring on his finger that affirmed the predicate.
The ring was proof.
Proof of something that existed. Proof of commitment, of a promise spoken and sealed.
And yet, how fragile was truth, he thought, when absence could strip it away so completely?
If he took the ring off - stopped wearing it - what would that mean?
Would it signify the end of the truth the ring had once affirmed?
Would it make Haley’s leaving more tangible, more real?
Would it mean that everything he’d built, everything he’d fought to hold together, was irretrievably lost?
Or was it already lost, and the ring nothing more than a hollow echo of something that had ceased to be true long before this moment?
That was the paradox of logic, wasn’t it? The truth wasn’t in the ring itself - it lived in what the ring represented.
Yet, despite that, he couldn’t bring himself to part with it.
Not yet.
Removing it would feel like yanking the last fragile thread from a tapestry already worn and frayed. It would unravel completely, leaving him with nothing but the empty space where something beautiful had once existed.
And he wasn’t ready to face that emptiness.
Not yet.
Damn the Stoics and their brain-twisting philosophy.
---
You’d gone somewhere.
You hadn’t told him where.
And so Aaron stood alone in his own kitchen, not entirely alone actually.
Your notes sat at the edge of the table, perfectly stacked, perfectly aligned, like they were waiting for you.
Or maybe for him.
He exhaled sharply, his eyes fixed on the table, as if staring hard enough might unravel the threads in his chest. The ones tightening, pulling, knotting tighter because you were gone and hadn’t said where.
It shouldn’t matter.
It wasn’t the first time you’d left like this, slipping out with a vague goodbye and a light smile that said everything was fine.
But tonight, it felt different.
He couldn’t explain it, just that the air in the house felt heavier without you in it. He could still hear the echo of your voice, could still see the way you lingered at the door, like maybe you had something to say but decided against it.
His gaze drifted back to the notes where your pen rested next to the stack, its placement deliberate, like you’d made sure to leave everything just right before you walked out. Just at the edge, hidden in the eyesight behind a chair.
Always the edge. Always tucked away. Like you didn’t think you had the right to be here.
You did. God, you did.
The neatness of it, the deliberate precision, drove him mad.
It was more than just tidy habits; it was the way you shrank yourself, folding your existence into corners and crevices, tiptoeing through his life as though you were afraid to leave footprints. The way you hesitated before touching anything that belonged to him.
He hated it.
Hated the carefulness.
Hated what it said about how you saw yourself here.
Also because it reminded him of the reality of the situation: temporary.
How you called yourself his guest with that wry, self-deprecating humor of yours.
He hated the word.
A guest didn’t leave their pen perfectly parallel to the edge of the table. A guest didn’t linger just long enough to warm the silence before slipping away again, leaving only the faintest trace behind.
You weren’t a guest to him.
You were the only reason the silence didn’t feel so suffocating anymore.
Aaron straightened, his jaw tight, his eyes fixed on the table as if sheer willpower could force the stack to move - to the center, to the middle of the room, to anywhere that didn’t feel like you were afraid to exist.
He didn’t just want you here. He needed you to be here.
Not carefully. Not quietly. Not tucked away like an afterthought.
He wanted - no, needed - you to bother his space.
To make it yours.
He wanted those papers scattered across his home office desk - the desk you refused to use, no matter how many times he told you it was yours whenever you needed it.
He wanted to walk in and find you sitting there, your head bent in concentration, the faint scratch of your pen filling the silence, and the scent of your bitter tea lingering in the air.
He wanted your books stacked haphazardly on the coffee table, their titles in languages he’d long forgotten or never understood, with bookmarks peeking out at odd angles because you could never settle on reading just one.
He wanted your handwriting scrawled on sticky notes taped to the fridge - lists of groceries he didn’t even recognize but that you swore were essential, or little reminders you left for yourself but that he’d read anyway, smiling at the way you seemed to write as fast as you thought, each letter tumbling after the next in a barely legible rush.
He wanted to come home and see the faint glow of your laptop in the kitchen or hear your voice muttering to yourself as you debated some philosophical nuance, oblivious to the fact that he was listening from the doorway.
He wanted to trip over the shoes you’d kicked off in a rush, abandoned in the middle of the hallway because some new idea had swept you up, demanding all your attention.
He wanted the sound of your laughter spilling out when you teased him about his coffee or his barely disguised grimace after sipping your bitter tea, the way you filled the silence without even trying.
He wanted the chaos of you, your quirks and your muttered criticisms about his tea collection and your refusal to use the home office because “it’s your space, Aaron.”
He wanted your presence to become so intertwined with his space that he wouldn’t know where his life stopped and yours began.
To see signs of you everywhere - on his counters, in his cabinets, in the spaces that used to feel too big and too empty. He wanted the proof that you were here, that you were staying, even if it was only for a while.
Because every time he saw the deliberate neatness of your papers, the way you kept your presence confined to the smallest corner of his house, it made him feel lonelier than the silence ever did.
Because the empty spaces of his house never felt as desolate as when you tried to erase yourself from them.
He hated the invisible barrier you seemed to think was necessary.
And what terrified him most was how much he wanted to tear that barrier down.
Yet, those papers…
He told himself not to look. They were your notes, your thoughts, something private, but his eyes betrayed him, flicking down to the top page.
Just a glimpse, he thought.
Philosophy. Always philosophy.
Probably for Spencer.
And, lately, always Spencer.
Aaron leaned forward, just enough to catch the familiar loops of your handwriting and ink smudges on the page in front of him, how they softened the rigidity of Stoic logic written stark against the white page, humanized it in a way Aaron doubted the Stoics themselves ever intended.
Those ancient, precise theories weren’t just alive on the page, they were you.
He knew those smudges. God, he knew them so well.
And once, those smudgs had been for him.
Years ago, back when you were in Europe and he was in D.C., thousands of miles apart but bound together by ink and paper. You’d written to him, pages and pages of letters, postcards, even the occasional napkin with your hurried musings scrawled across the edges.
Every piece carried the unmistakable cadence of your thoughts, the subtle fingerprints of your soul left behind in ink.
He hadn’t just read them. He’d kept them.
All of them.
Six years of letters, still tucked neatly into a box on the right side of his desk. Hidden but never forgotten, each of them categorized.
He still could recite some of them by heart now, not just because of the words, but because of what they represented.
A connection.
A window into your mind.
Proof that, even when you were an ocean away, you’d thought of him.
You’d given him something no one else had, you’d taken hours of your time - time you could have spent on anything else - to explain your world to him. You’d translated the vastness of your intellect into something he could grasp, meeting him halfway, bridging the gap between philosophy and law.
And for six years, those letters had been his.
Just his.
He was the only one who knew what your thoughts looked like in ink, the only one who understood the tempo of your mind when it spilled onto paper.
But now?
Now, those hurried marks, those smudges, weren’t his alone anymore, they were for Spencer.
Aaron’s eyes lingered on the page, his chest tightening with something he refused to name - it wasn’t jealousy.
It couldn’t be jealousy.
That would be absurd.
But the thought crept in anyway, unbidden and unwelcome.
Spencer could keep up with you - he could dive into your world, explore its depths without needing a guide. He could talk with you for hours about philosophy, go deep into the nuances and theories that Aaron could only skim the surface of.
Aaron couldn’t.
He was just a lawyer.
He hated the way it sounded, the way it reduced everything he’d accomplished into something so small.
But compared to Spencer?
Well, Spencer was a genius, after all.
Philosophy wasn’t something Spencer needed simplified.
Spencer didn’t need “Hegel for Dummies.”
It wasn’t that he doubted your friendship, he never had. You’d do anything for each other - that was the kind of unshakable truth most people spend lifetimes hoping to find.
No, it wasn’t doubt, it was something worse.
It was the quiet, biting knowledge that he wasn’t enough.
Because philosophy had always been your thing. Law had always been his. That was the unspoken balance of your relationship - two different worlds, one shared soul, one whole.
It was what made you and Aaron work, in a way that defied logic.
But now, to him that balance felt fragile, precarious, like a scale tipping under a weight he couldn’t identify.
Because now, it felt like Spencer could meet you where Aaron never could.
But did Spencer notice the peculiarities of your handwriting the way Aaron did? The quiet, intimate details that felt like secrets only he was meant to uncover?
He’d teased you once, calling it your “professor handwriting.”
Precise and polished, every letter upright and deliberate. It was the version you used on the whiteboard during case briefings or when writing notes for others to read. People often admired it, praising how clean and professional it looked, almost like it belonged in a textbook.
But Aaron knew better.
That wasn’t really you.
Your real handwriting - the one meant only for yourself, and somehow, for him - was a different thing entirely.
It was messy, rushed, and alive with motion, like it couldn’t quite keep up with your thoughts.
The letters leaned forward, words blending together, the strokes of your t’s and the dots on your i’s often forgotten in your hurry to capture the idea before it slipped away.
He could always tell when something mattered to you because the ink pressed heavier in those spots, as though you were willing the words to stay.
Did Spencer notice how sometimes, in that messy script of yours, a line would trail off mid-thought, only to be picked up again later when you circled back to it?
Did he know how your letters bent slightly to the left when you were feeling uncertain or overwhelmed?
Because Aaron did. He’d been noticing it for years.
And that was the difference, wasn’t it? S
pencer could read the page, could absorb every word - but he knew how it felt.
He told himself it wasn’t rational to feel this way, and Aaron Hotchner was nothing if not rational. He was the one people called stoic, composed, unshakable, detached. He’d been called that more times than he could count, by colleagues, by superiors, even by his team. It was a label that had followed him for years.
Everyone called him stoic.
Everyone but you.
Maybe you hadn’t had the chance, maybe one day you would. Maybe Spencer already had. Or maybe you saw through it better than anyone else.
He sank into the chair, the soft creak of wood breaking the stillness of the kitchen. A breath escaped him - slow, unsteady - one he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.
And in the quiet that followed, a single thought surfaced, persistent and undeniable, no matter how much he wished it away: he missed being the one you wrote for.
And the moment you stepped through the door, Aaron knew.
Your movements were hesitant, each step slow and uncertain, as though the weight of the world was pressing against your back.
He saw the faint streaks of dried tears on your cheeks, the way your gaze didn’t lift from the floor, your hands curling slightly at your sides.
But what struck him most - what confirmed what he already feared - was the chain around your neck.
That silver chain had always carried the weight of your engagement ring, resting just over your heart like a quiet reminder of something he’d never been able to name aloud.
Now, it hung bare, empty, as though it too had been unshackled. The sight of it was jarring, a moment of revelation that felt both devastating and freeing.
Aaron froze, his breath catching for the second time in the last couple of seconds in his chest.
For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, didn’t trust himself to speak.
He’d spent years taming his emotions, hiding them behind layers of composure, but right now, the dam threatened to break.
His body moved before he could catch up.
In three strides, he was in front of you, his hands settling on your shoulders with a gentleness that felt like gravity itself, steady and inescapable.
It was as if his touch called your name, a language only the two of you understood, because only then did you lift your eyes to meet his.
In that single glance, he saw everything – the raw ache etched into the curve of your expression, the exhaustion. Yet beneath it all, threaded through the cracks of your weariness, there was something else, something only he would have noticed.
Relief.
And without a second thought, he pulled you right into his arms. The silence stretched between you, heavy with everything he wanted to take from you, all the burdens you’d been carrying alone.
His arms wrapped around you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other pressing firmly against your back, as if sheer closeness could undo the damage that had been done.
He felt the tension in your body give way all at once, and then you broke.
You cried.
It wasn’t quiet, and it wasn’t neat.
It was the kind of crying that shook you, the kind you’d been holding back for so long it felt like it might never end. The sound of it cut through him, sharp and unrelenting, and he closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to stay steady for you.
He couldn’t, not really, not when you were like that.
It was almost like a symbiotic reaction.
He began to rub slow, soothing circles into your back, his voice low and steady as he murmured softly against your hair. “I’m here, let it out. Just let it all out.”
He made sure to keep his sentences short to not give up the emotion in his voice “I’m holding you. I’ve got you.
“You’re okay now. You’re alright. I’m not going anywhere.” His words weren’t just meant for you - they were meant for himself, a quiet mantra to keep his composure while his heart ached in ways he hadn’t felt in years.
The thought of how much Peter had hurt you, how deeply he had left his mark on someone so strong, so capable, made Aaron’s chest tighten.
His jaw clenched as tears began to well in his own eyes.
He didn’t wipe them away, didn’t dare loosen his hold on you for even a second.
You were free from him now - that much he held onto - but the knowledge that you’d had to endure so much pain to get here didn’t sit right with him.
It never would.
“I’m proud of you,” he murmured again, his voice thick with emotion. He pressed his cheek lightly against the top of your head, his own tears slipping free now. “So proud of you.”
Your cries grew quieter, softening into shaky breaths as your fingers gripped tightly at the back of his shirt, as though anchoring yourself to him. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words fractured with lingering sobs. “Aaron, I’m so sorry. You were right - you were always right, and I-”
“Shhh,” he interrupted, his voice gentle but firm, as though willing you to believe him. His hand kept its steady rhythm against your back, grounding you. “It doesn’t matter now. None of it matters. If anyone should be sorry, it’s me.”
You let out a breathy laugh against his shoulder, small but real, breaking through the weight of your tears. “Are we really going to argue about who’s more sorry?”
Aaron chuckled softly, the sound low and warm. “No argument. I’d win. And where’s the fun in that?”
Your laugh grew a little stronger, and he could feel the faintest tension in your body start to ease. He didn’t let go, not yet.
If it were up to him, he never would.
Holding you like this felt too right, like he was finally where he needed to be after years of staying too far away.
Only when you finally shifted did Aaron loosen his hold, just barely, giving you enough space to pull back. But his hands stayed on your arms, firm and steady, as though letting go entirely wasn’t something he could bring himself to do - not now, not ever.
Your eyes, still glassy with tears, lifted to his, as if bracing for what you might find.
And that was when he felt it - the faintest, almost involuntary tug at the corners of his lips, a fragile smile breaking through the swell of emotion that threatened to consume him.
A tear slid down his cheek, unbidden and unashamed.
Still, he didn’t brush it away.
He didn’t even think to.
All that mattered in that moment was you.
So he just stood there, rooted to the ground, holding on to you as though you were the only thing tethering him to the world.
Because you were.
“Aaron,” you said softly, your voice trembling, fragile in a way that made something deep inside him twist. The way you looked at him shifted in that moment, your gaze catching on the glistening streaks tracing his face.
His lips curved into the smallest, gentlest smile. “And for the record,” he said, his voice wavering slightly but still warm, “I cry more than you do.” He brushed at his cheek half-heartedly, even as another tear slipped free. “That’s 2–0.”
Your laugh came then, soft, messy, interrupted by the uneven hiccups left over from crying too hard.
But it was real, and it was enough to loosen the tightness in his chest.
Just hearing you laugh again felt like a reprieve.
“You’re impossible,” you said, shaking your head lightly. But then your tone faltered, quieter now, “Don’t you ever dare walk away from me, Aaron. Don’t leave me too.”
“Never,” he said firmly, his voice resolute and strong, he’d never been so sure about anything in his life. He paused, his eyes softening as he searched for your face. Then, almost as if the words carried a life of their own, he added, “We’ve stayed apart long enough.”
You didn’t say anything.
You didn’t need to.
Aaron poured a glass of water, setting it in front of you. “Drink,” he said softly.
You accepted it without hesitation, murmuring a soft “thank you” under your breath. He poured a glass for himself as well – rehydration was essential after all the unspoken emotions spilled into just one single room - and positioned himself across from you, the two of you sharing the silence.
But this silence felt different.
It wasn’t empty, it was filled with the quiet comfort of not having to explain yourself.
When you set your glass down, he almost hated he had to break it like that, with a voice as steady as he could. “You’ve got one hour”
You blinked, confused. “For what?”
“To get ready,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’m taking you out.”
“Aaron, I don’t think-” you started saying.
“It’s either this,” he interrupted, raising an eyebrow, “or you sit here and tell me everything that happened. Your choice.”
He knew you’d retreat into your own mind, letting your thoughts consume you piece by piece if he let you walk away now. And he knew that all too well.
You studied him for a moment, then sighed in defeat. “Fine. But only if I’m paying.”
“Deal,” he said, a playful glint in his eye. “But I’m choosing the drinks.”
“Make it something strong,” you shot back, a hint of warmth returning to your voice. “I might need it.”
He chuckled, leaning against the counter as he watched you. He had to correct you, he couldn’t help himself. “We might need it.”
And then he wondered why his heart beat faster than yours when he was holding you.
He couldn’t find an answer.
---
BYE BYE P***R AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 15 CHAPTERS OF DESPAIR
taglist: @beata1108 ; @cuddleprofiler ; @c-losur3 ; @fangirlunknown ; @hayleym1234 ; @justyourusualash ; @kyrathekiller ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @mxblobby ; @person-005 ; @prettybaby-reid ; @reidfile ; @royalestrellas ; @ssa-callahan ; @softestqueeen ; @theseerbetweenus ; @todorokishoe24
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plmp0 · 1 year ago
Text
What are u looking at?
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Summary: You can't help but stare at ur boss's Jay's arms whenever u r in his office, having enough from acting like nothing happened Jay made sure to use them for ur own good.
A.N: the spacing might seem weird because i didn't write in tumblr so sorry for that and for any typos i don't have time now to edit this so i'll do that later ^^
Warnings: ceo!jay x secretary!reader, hard!dom!jay, sub reader, names calling, choking, p in v, cream pie, fingering, oral (both f and m), messy!sex, unprotected (cause it's a fic) and more
Your friend has been begging u to take her place at work since she is pregnant and doesn't trust someone else to do her job while taking it seriously, u've been kindly denying her offer not really wanting to take a responsibility as big as her work, knowing exactly how big and successful her company is but as u got kicked out from ur current job having to pay ur bills for the month u had no choice but to agree. It was ur "first day" at work, ur friend insisted to come with u today so u'd feel less awkward and also to talk about u with her "boss".
"Y/n don't be nervous relax a little bit" ur friend whispered looking at ur pale face and ur shaky hands, "ohh yeah" u let a breath out as u were now in front of the office, ur friend going first and then calling for u, u closed the door closing ur eyes slightly to calm urself down a little bit before turning and saying an awkward hi not daring to look at the person sitting on the chair in front of u, only hearing his voice telling u to take a seat.
U sat in front of ur friend, her cute smiling face taking some of ur anxiety away as she sends u signal to say something, u turned ur heard finally getting a look at Mr Park who's been staring at u in amusement waiting for u to say something with his raised brow "u-umm, nice to meet u" u said biting ur lips cursing urself for the words that ur mouth chose to let out and u r thankful that ur friend is with u trying to soften the atmosphere as well as speaking on ur behalf.
Mr Park as u call him said that u could start work tomorrow giving u some files to help u understand the structure of their work more before coming, and u couldn't help it but be intimidated by his presence, sensing his eyes on u all the time not just staring but piercing through your soul as if he's trying to find ur weakness.
U couldn't sleep the whole night, feeling so scared of being alone without ur friend in that big company, u washed ur face applying some neutral makeup and picking ur hair up in ponytail, scanning ur wardrobe to find something professional and deciding on a black pencil skirt with a white blouse not forgetting to wear ur long coat not feeling that comfortable in these clothes but u couldn't find something more suitable.
U sighed knocking on the door after u received a call from Jay telling u to bring him some coffee along with some papers he wanted from the finance team, u tried to steady urself while opening the door careful to not drop the cup and relaxing after u succeed, u cleared ur throat sensing Jay's eyes on u as u presented the coffee to him who is busy scanning ur choice of clothes not saying anything and just gesturing to a chair asking u to sit and tell him about ur opinion on some matters making u disappear inside ur clothes as u didn't read the papers before bringing them, Jay sighed on the other end massaging his forehead before sipping his coffee, his hands rolling up his sleeves making u shift ur attention to his veins and forearms, his muscles contracting when he moves his hand back to his desk and his biceps making ur mouth dry at the sight and he probably noticed that as u heard him chuckle, "are you done staring?" his deep voice snapped u out of ur thoughts making ur face even hotter if possible, and if u said that u wish u were dead in that moment u wont be lying
"i'm sorry Mr. Park i was-" his voice stopped u only letting a "Jay" making u look at him questionably "huh?" u blinked a couple of times not really understanding what he meant "you can call me Jay not mr.Park" he said again "and yes i can see how distracted you are" he added his eyes scanning ur figure , "it's my first day here i promise i won't be that distracted again, please don't fire me" u blurred out of nowhere making him chuckle and shake his head in amusement, "i won't fire you y/n" he said as he stands up and walks to stand behind u, his scent and warmth making u close ur eyes in embarrassment, "i'm sorry" you said again trying to stand up but his hand on your shoulder made u stay put "it's ok but u better stay focused or i'll have to punish you" his warm breath in ur ear made a shiver run down your spine, "w-what??" you stuttered your brain trying to process his words and failing, his husky laugh brought u back from ur thoughts, "i'm kidding y/n relax, now go and read the files i sent u, i'll need u to schedule some things because i have a meeting abroad next month" u noded a little bit, sneacking out of his office not noticing his dark eyes following your every movement and the smirk he wore on his lips, 'cute'
It was Friday already and u swear work has never been exhausting before, everything came at u at the same time, having to learn new stuff while doing the work that has been given to u and let's not forget about Jay and his non ending teasing, for some reasons u didn't expect him to be relaxed and strict at the same time, always making u confused, sometimes he is nice and gives u advices on the matters he needs your help with and then he is rude and tells you that you're doing everything wrong, not letting you breathe even once and then comes his "nice comments" whether it's about ur hair or what u r wearing, not forgetting to roll up his sleeves whenever u come to his office, the whole situation making you blush more and more each day and him being so close to u all the time not helping one bit, u'd find urself lost in ur thoughts imagining him doing the dirtiest thing to you most of the times before he snaps u from ur thoughts.
Today u were supposed to have a meeting with an investor, agreeing to have it in one of the cafe's near the company after Jay's orders, u checked out ur bag making sure to not forget anything before stepping in the cafe, scanning the place looking for the person and noticing a guy dressed in a suit sitting alone, assuming that's the guy you're looking for, you walked to his table greeting him and shaking his hand, he had his hair slicked back with a charming smile on his lips as he looks at u, his gaze scanning ur body and stopping on ur breasts, he didn't bother to hide his lust for you making you uncomfortable as he is still checking you out, "let's order first" u said trying to ignore his stares as u r looking at ur phone regretting not coming with Jay.
"I have no idea why they send me someone who's so pretty" he said leaning on the table and licking his lips, "let's start shall we" you said clearing your throat and giving him a polite smile, "i have a question tho" he said leaning closer and as u were about to shake him away from u, u met with Jay's back as he sits in front of you, making the guy go back to his place, his brows furrowed as he glares at the man in front of him, "i hope that i wasn't interrupting something important, y/n" he said looking straight at the guy in front of him making him gulp, the silence afterwards lasted more than it should before Jay broke it "Mr Sim sorry for coming late but can we start? i have some other work to do so i hope we can finish this fastly" he said frowning his tone stricter than usual, his stare making the guy's hand tremble as he nods, his eyes never leaving Jay's figure as the older takes out the documents and starts explaining them.
"Okay i think it'd better if we discuss these things with the finance team (lmao what's with me and finance) we are gonna be waiting for u next week" Jay said looking at the man in front of him killing him with his eyes this whole time, especially after making a move on u in front of him,you were so uncomfortable to say the least wishing for this meeting to end as quickly as possible, Jay shifted his eyes on u his gaze softening a bit, "Y/n u can go i'll follow after a minute" u noded your eyes never looking back as u were heading out, u didn't notice Jay's glare getting even worse and his fist clenching the pen tightly, making the man in front of him tremble, "Mr Sim i didn't want so say anything in front of miss Y/n, but i'd appreciate it if u keep ur eyes for urself, u r old enough to know how to be professional and i hope that what happened today wouldn't happen again or m not sure i'd tolerate that kind of behavior, now excuse me" He left shooting draggers at the man , he sighed his veins popping he barely managed to contain himself earlier, he took a few deep breaths and went back to the company noting ur bored expressions as he reached his floor seeing u checking your phone, the sight making him relax and smile a little bit, he walked towards you throwing u a soft smile before signaling u to follow him to his office and u did.
U were standing in front of him eyes scanning his loose tie his body relaxing on his chair as he massaged his neck exposing his collarbones as his forarms flexes, u were almost drooling cheeks heating up at the sinful thoughts going on ur mind right now, not paying attention to the man in front of u neither for what he is saying, "you're not listening" his deep voice snapped u out of ur thoughts making your body shake a bit, u opened ur mouth to answer him but no words came out making him chuckle, "are u alright there, princess?" He grined now adjusting his propotions in his seat as he ordered u to sit, u cleared ur throat softly ur mouth feeling dry trying ur best now to ignore his arms and the veins decorating them as u listen to him "i want u to know that u don't have to put up with that kind of behavior as u did earlier and-" Jay'd words stopped as he noticed the way ur paying him no attention staring shamelessly at his arms mouth a gape he tusked before walking to the door locking it making u look at him with a questioning look, he turned his back to you and started loosening his tie making sure to give you a show, his biceps contracting as he pulled the material down his throat "i've been really trying to ignore the way u react whenever i do this" he said referring to his loose tie and his rolled up sleeves, "but u just keep staring at me in a way that makes it harder for me to control myself"
His steps are slow and calculated, his eyes dark and predatory, "u think i don't know, princess?" his voice softened at the last word "just how dumb u become whenever i touch you even a little, how hard it is for u to not make a sound" his deep voice made ur stomach turn and u can feel his breath on ur skin now, his choice of words ringing in ur ears making ur shoulders drop;
"or do u really think that i'm oblivious to all the dirty things you're thinking about when you're near me" his eyes darkened more his lips brushing ur earlobe now his scent intoxicating you, and u r trembling the wetness between ur thighs increasing by each second, Jay chuckled his hand cupping ur face lifting ur chin so that ur eyes meet his, "i-i don't know what u m-mean Mr Park?" You whispered your cheeks getting redder and redder, "oh really?" he answered his lips ghosting ur jawline making u whimper, his other hand now on ur waist squeezing it lightly before sliding down on your thighs, his touch burning ur skin, his fingers started playing with the hem of ur skirt, his teeth grazing your earlobe before whispering, "i think you know very well what m talking about" his hand slipped under ur skirt his thumb rubbing ur clothed cunt making u whimper and squeeze your legs together, "look at you so desperate and needy" he teased his finger slowly moving your panties to the side and pressing his middle finger in your folds making you moan, Jay tusked at the sound pulling his hand out and turning around his back facing you, "i-im sorry" u whispered making him sigh and sit down, "sorry won't make you less of a needy little whore" his voice deep and dangerous, the words sending shivers down your spine, "what am i gonna do with you" he sighed his head resting on his palm, his eyes dark and lustful and u were too lost in his gaze, your cheeks red, hearing these words from him affecting u more than u'd think, your legs alreadt shaky, he was scanning ur form, the sight making his pants tighten and his jaw clench, his hands gripping his thigh to control himself.
"Get here and on your knees" his words made u blink, your heart beats increasing and your pussy throbbing, you hesitated for a minute before getting up, your needeness kicking out any logical thought of ur brain your knees hitting the ground in front of him, your face now on the same level with his crotch, Jay smirked his hands reaching for his belt buckle, undoing the strap and the sight alone made u moan pulling his pants down enough for his cock to spring out, his member twitching and pulsing in front of you, Jay gripped your chin in his large hand making you look at him, his fingers pressing into your cheeks dark eyes scaning ur fucked out face and his lips pulled into a tight line, his eyes never leaving yours as he slapped his cock on ur face before pushing his length down your throat, his hands tangled in your hair, nails digging into your scalp, and your moans and gags only fueling his ego more, letting his groans fill the office, his hips kept moving against your mouth in a very harsh but delicious pace "u've waiting for this ha? for me to fuck your pretty face" he groaned his hands forcing you to take his full length, your eyes brimming with tears and you were sure that by now ur makeup was ruined, the sight of the wrecked mess you were made Jay groan and grip the armrest, his eyes closed and his head thrown back as he enjoys the warmness of ur mouth "fuck u r so good at this, such a good girl" the words made ur cunt throb and clench on nothing, u needed to be touched but the position u were in didn't let u rub ur thighs together and the lack of friction was driving u crazy.
Jay noticed that, he noticed ur pathetic attempts and he guided his left foot between ur legs his expensive shoe spreading u a little bit before rubbing your clothed cunt, the pressure wasn't enough and the fact that it was his shoe that was rubbing you, made ur mind go blank, ur eyes closing and a moan leaving your mouth making him groan at the vibration as you grinded on his leg, "i never thought you'd be this much of a needy slut, grinding on my leg like a bitch in heat, god you r so pathetic" his degrading words made u clench on nothing, the shoe still rubbing your cunt and Jay's hold on ur hair got tighter at ur desperate state, your head bobbing on his length eyes tearing up as u stared him up seeing the way his jaw clenches and his veins popped, his eyes never leaving yours, hands guiding u up and down his shaft, the lack of oxygen and his dick down ur throat made your vision go blurry and the wet sounds of ur pussy being rubbed by his expensive shoe was making u go insane,
Jay growled his hands pushing u to take more of him making u roll ur eyes tapping gentelly on his thighs when it was too much, the tears in ur eyes streaming down your cheeks now the mascara smeared all over your face, your pussy clenching when his tip hits the back of ur throat, "shit, y/n" he groaned, the knot in his stomach building up his thrusts getting sloppier, his foot now pressing harder on ur cunt before spilling his hot seeds down ur throat, the taste of him and the smell of his cologne making u come on his shoes almost instantly, "fuck" he breathed his forehead resting on the back of his hand, he moved his foot away tusking at the slick stuck on them "look at you making such a mess, and on my shoe nonetheless" he chuckled shaking his head, the sight of u making him want to bend you over and fuck u hard and rough, his eyes now on your fucked out face and the way u were staring at his cock, some of his cum painting ur chin ur blouse sticky from ur drool mixed with his cum, his hand still in ur hair making sure u can't move "don't u dare" he warned, his tone deep and strict making u stop in your tracks and stare at him.
U gulped waiting for his next move just to see him lean down, his fingers unbottoning ur white blouse, his tongue licking his bottom lip as he sees your lace bra as well as your cleavage, u felt his warm hands on ur breasts kneading them making you moan, his hands slipping inside the bra and squeezing them, his thumb now teasing your nipples and rubbing them while his other hand grabbed ur face making you look at him, "u have no idea how many times i've imagined this" his voice coming out raspy as his thumb rubs ur bottom lip, hands going down to pull ur arms back taking his belt and using it to restrain them behind ur back, "i can't wait to have a taste of that tight little cunt of yours" his fingers walked past ur skirt lifting it up enough to get a sight of ur soaked panties, and his eyes darkened at the sight, his tongue wetting his lips, he stepped back admiring the mess in front of him, the way your legs are shaking thighs pressed together, the way your hair is a mess and the way your arms are tied behind ur back your shirt unbuttoned with ur breasts spilling out of your bra, he wanted to eat u alive.
He walked to the desk leaning his elbows on the edge as his eyes pierced through yours, his hands undoing his tie, the sound of his footsteps as he walks back towards you feeling his expenssive cologne hit ur nostrils and driving u crazy, u felt his warm hands on your neck as he put the tie around it and pulls it, the pressure making you gasp, "you're not allowed to make a noise, remember we r in an office after all" he said as his thumb caressed your cheeks, his hand now sliding down your arm and stopping on the hem of your skirt, he lifted it up again his fingers ghosting your wet panties and your legs tremble, your head falls on his chest as he moves his finger along your folds, his other hand massaging your breast, and the soft noises coming from your mouth went straight to his cock, the way your body reacted to his touches made him grin;
"someone's enjoying this huh" he teased reaching to lift his tie positioning it between ur lips before giving you a wink, his fingers now pressing against your clothed entrance, your eyes closed droppibg ur head back your mind going blank, "fuck" you mumbled the feeling of his finger rubbing your clit and his lips on your neck are overwhelming, Jay tusked at ur reaction and his grip on the tie got tighter his fingers rubbing ur clothed pussy in a painfully slow pace, and the sounds that ur muffled moans were making were music to his ears, his finger moved aside ur panties entering your cunt, the tightness and the warmth of you made him groan, his finger struggling to move inside of you, teeth grazing your skin, thumb pressing against ur clit and the knot in ur stomach tightened, his finger went deeper inside you making u curse, his lips now on your shoulder biting gently, he added another finger stretching u out while his thumb's still rubbing your clit, the way his fingers hit that spot inside of u made your knees weak, your muffled moans and gasps only encouraging him to go faster, his teeth nibbling ur collarbones lips kissing their way up to your neck and then to ur jaw.
"fuck princess u r so fucking tight" his fingers went rougher and deeper, his other hand squeezing your breast rubbing your nipples, his lips brushed against your cheek eyes watching you as he curled his fingers making ur eyes roll back and a loud moan escaped your lips, Jay clicked his tongue in disapproval his hands stopping their movements as he looks at u, his eyes dark his lips forming a pout, he reached for the tie moving it down to rest on ur neck, "looks like this tie isn't enough to silence you y/n?" He asked, the question making u moan in humiliation, his eyes piercing through u as he let a chuckle escape his lips, his fingers still knuckle deep in you, he moved to your ear as he whispered, "do i have to gag you or do u think that you'll be able to stay quiet without a gag?" He teased his tongue licking the shell of ur ear, his words only making ur pussy clench around him, "answer me" he let out his breath hitting ur skin, his deep voice sending shivers down ur spine, "I-I'll be q-quiet" you managed to let out, and as if that was the answer he was waiting for, he pulled his fingers out of you making u whimper, "behave and i might give you a reward" he moved his eyebrows walking to the chair and sitting down, his fingers still shiny from your slick, you wanted nothing but to taste yourself on his fingers and suck him dry, your thighs are still trembling and your eyes never left his frame, his cock rock hard tip leaking with precum, his arms flexed as he rested them on his knees,
"come here" his command was clear and sharp making you obey instantly, your legs struggling to keep u up the feeling of the slick going down ur thighs making u even more needy, Jay grinned as u stopped in front of him hands behind ur back, he stood up towering over you, his chest almost pressing on yours as he leans to your ear, his hand going up and down your thighs, his nose nuzzling the side of your neck, "such a good girl" his words shoot right into ur core followed by his kisses trailing from ur neck to your cleavage, his large hands lifting you up and placing you on the desk, the papers flying off the surface and the cold air on ur skin made u shiver, his fingers played with the straps of ur skirt, "lift your ass" he ordered and u did, his fingers unzipping it and throwing it away, tugging on ur panties now as his tongue licked his bottom lip;
His fingers slipped inside of ur panties as he pulled them down, hands spreading ur legs apart, his head going down to place wet kisses on your stomach and then down on ur tights, his tongue leaving a wet trail on ur skin and the sensation of his stubble on ur skin made u squirm, u felt his warm breath fan on your cunt as he placed a kiss on ur inner thigh, his hand wrapping around ur ankle lifting ur leg over his shoulder and giving you a playful smirk before diving in, his lips sucking and biting the sensitive skin on your thighs sending shivers down ur spine, his teeth digged into ur soft flesh making you bite your bottom lip struggling to contain ur sounds, his fingers spread ur pussy as his lips kissed their way to your dripping hole, his breath fanning over ur pussy before his tongue flattened against it, a groan escaping his lips as he savours the sweet taste of you.
His tongue licking his lips before he goes in for another lick before u felt it inside of u, your body jolts at the intrusion, the feeling of his tongue curling inside of u is too much, the warm and wet muscle sending sparks throughout your body and making your toes curl, your eyes closed your hands gripping the table behind u, and u swear the sound of his tongue working wonders inside of you is the most erotic thing u've ever heard, ur eyes moved to look at him noting the fact that his eyes are still on u watching your every move, and that made it so hard for u to be silent, u felt his thumb rubbing your clit, the action making you throw your head back and bite your lip harder, "Jay" you whined, making him smirk at you, his hands spreading ur tights apart his tongue moving in and out of you and the way you are trying to move your hips only encourages him more, he was loving the view and the way you looked so vulnerable and powerless, the way your eyes are closed, your hair is messy your hands are holding on to dear life behind u clearly wishing to grip his head instead, "such a good girl" he murmured his words vibrating inside of you, your head falling back as he goes deeper and your body twitches at the action "Jay" you cried, and you know he was smirking even though u can't see him, his movements got more aggressive, his teeth grazing your folds and his tongue licking the bundle of nerves inside of you, his eyes focused on you as he enjoys the way your body twitches and trembles under his touches, the knot in your stomach is too tight, and you were so close, but he didn't let you, his hands leaving ur thighs as he straightens his back, the loss of his warm tongue and the pressure inside of u was frustrating and the way he was looking at u was not helping, "please" u whispered crying making him groan before he chuckled
"don't worry princess" his voice raspy as his fingers trace the lines of ur neck going up to your cheek and pushing your hair behind ur ear, his fingers cupping your face his thumb tracing the line of ur lips sliping his thumb into ur mouth and u didn't hesitate to take it in and swirl your tongue around it, sucking it eagerly and making him groan at the sensation, the tip of his cock teasing ur entrance and u moaned at the feeling, his tip spreading your folds making you moan louder, "shhh" he teased and you wanted nothing but to scream his name and beg him to ruin u, his fingers pulled at the straps of ur bra, the material getting loose as your breasts spilled out of it, his hands groping them and playing with your nipples making u bite his thumb, and u felt a hard slap on ur left breast the sting so delicious yet it made u cry,tears falling down your cheeks as he removed his fingers from ur mouth his hand is moving to grip ur neck, his grip not tight enough to choke u but tight enough for you to know that he is in control, ur eyes rolled back when u felt his tip enter u, the pain and the stretch drove him insane, his tip almost halfway in as he waited for u to adjust and when u gave him the green light he didn't wait any longer his hips slaming into yours his grip on ur throat tightening
"f-fuck" u moaned head dropping to the desk hands resting uncomfortably under u, u felt his tip hitting ur g-spot and his thumb started rubbing ur clit, the overstimulation making u moan loudly and he tusked, his hand leaving ur neck and going to shut ur mouth, the way he was pounding into you was making u delirious, his tip hitting ur sweet spot with every thrust and his groans mixed with the dirty sounds coming from the slapping of your bodies were too much for you, his hand now gripping the tie and choking u, his fingers digging into ur thighs as he holds you still his hips snapping against yours, the knot in your stomach tightening , tears streaming down your cheeks making him even more horny.
He loved how pathetic and submissive you looked "shit" he growled his movements getting sloppier as he feels his own climax building, the way his tip hits your sweet spot is making you see stars and his fingers rubbing ur clit is not helping one bit, and you can feel yourself close, his deep groans and the way his abs contract as he fucks you made u closer, his grip on the tie is getting tighter as his other hand reaches to deliver a smack to ur clit, the action sending electric shocks all over your body and the tears in your eyes streamed down, your head dropping to the side his grip on the tie not letting u breathe as he pounds into you, his thrusts getting harder and deeper, "i'm so close baby" he groaned, and his words were the last thing you remember before ur vision went white squirting all over him, body shaking at how hard ur release hit you and soon after, u felt his cum filling u , his hand letting go of the tie and u gasped for air his body now resting on yours, his arms are the only thing holding him above u, his chest against yours as his forehead rests on the crook of your neck, both of you trying to catch your breath.
It was pretty hard for u to get out of his office that day, Jay helped u clean up but it wasn't enough as ur clothes weren't really in the state to be worn, he gave u his jacket the stickiness of ur blouse on the material was so embarrassing for u when u got home, yet ur heart was pounding at the good fuck and marks he left on ur body, u haven't really had anyone treat you that way before and it just made u fall more for him.
============================================
This was the first version i wrote for this ceo!jay and reader plot(?), i hope u enjoyed it even tho i prefer some other versions over it but i had to free this one first hahaha
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saintsylestine · 1 month ago
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Guilliman x Reader
Part 2 here! Tysm for reading
Authors note: your work gets you noticed by the Avenging Son. He'll assess you before he ever lays hands on you. Wanna read some creepy observant Guilliman? Is it creepy or just accurate? Take this draft from me!
Cw: slightly nsfw (alludes to maturbating but no anatomical details), being watched/surveillanced
A Model of Order pt. 1
You’re summoned to Strategium Annex Theta. No rank seal. No preamble.
Just a location, a time, and a clearance string so high you nearly hesitate to open it.
22:00. Sharp.
The chamber is colder than you expect. Wide. Quiet. High-vaulted like a monastery, but stripped of any reverence—just stone, light, and silence. At the center, a single obsidian table. Empty.
He stands at the far end.
Not armored.
No entourage. No ceremony.
Just him.
Roboute Guilliman.
The Lord of Ultramar. The Primarch.
The reason the stars still burn blue.
He doesn’t look at you. Not at first. His back is to you, arms folded, robes draped in precise symmetry. Even still, his presence chokes the room.
You keep your posture perfect. You do not speak.
Let him speak first.
He does.
“You recommended withdrawal from the Neride Cluster.”
No greeting. No acknowledgment.
“I did, my lord.”
“You advised the sacrifice of six billion civilians.”
“To save twenty-seven billion more.”
“And the infrastructure.”
"Yes.”
He turns.
The first time you meet his eyes, it feels like falling toward something ancient.
“You were correct.”
The words hit harder than you expect. Cold praise. Hollow. Like he’s repeating a fact he already filed away.
He steps toward you, each footfall deliberate. Measured. Like a surgeon approaching an incision.
“You were not summoned for your correctness."
You say nothing.
“You were summoned because I want to understand what you are.”
He circles you once. Not like a man. Like a force of nature pacing the edges of a controlled burn.
“You didn’t hesitate. You didn’t flinch. I’ve seen generals cry over less than what you signed away without blinking.”
He stops at your back.
“I want to know if that was discipline.”
“Or vacancy.”
You keep your eyes forward. Your breath even.
"It was logic, my lord.”
"Then you mistake me for someone who respects logic.”
A pause. You feel him closer now. Not touching. Just there.
“I’ve commanded empires with less blood on their hands than you carry in that one recommendation.”
He leans in.
“And I want to know… if it excites you.”
Your pulse stutters.
“No, my lord.”
“Pity. That would have made you easier to classify.”
He steps in front of you now. Hands behind his back. Eyes sharp enough to cut.
"You stand well. You answer well. You wear obedience like a second skin."
He lowers his voice—not soft, but close. Intimate the way pressure is intimate.
“But I don’t want obedience.”
“I want to know what happens when it breaks.”
The silence between you is thick. Alive.
"I do not need you,” he says, calm as ice.
“I choose to examine you.”
And then—he lifts one hand. Not armored. Gloved.
And simply gestures.
“Kneel.”
You hesitate—but only for a heartbeat. Then sink to one knee, not out of submission—but precision. Graceful. Controlled.
He steps closer. One hand lifts your chin.
The leather of his glove is cool against your jaw.
Your eyes meet.
And he studies you—not like a man studies a woman. Like a tactician studies a weapon he might someday use… or destroy.
“You think you intrigue me,” he says, almost bored.
“You think that earns you safety.”
A beat—
“No. I think it earns me scrutiny.”
That got a reaction. The faintest twitch of his mouth. Not a smile. A threat dressed as amusement.
He lets go.
“You’ll report to me daily. You’ll follow every instruction exactly. You’ll remain silent until spoken to.”
He turns away, already done with you.
“And if I find rot beneath all that beautiful structure—”
He pauses at the door. Doesn’t look back.
“I’ll have you dismantled. Properly. Efficiently. Beautifully.”
The door seals behind him like a coffin lid.
And for the first time in years, your composure hurts to hold.
----
You don’t remember walking back to your quarters. You remember the door sealing behind you. You remember the light being too bright. You remember your hands shaking as you peeled off your gloves—why are they shaking?
You’re not weak. You’re not like this.
You pace the floor three times. Open your data-slate. Close it. Strip out of your uniform with exacting movements, folding every piece like it matters. You don’t look in the mirror.
You sit on the edge of the bed.
You sit too straight.
You breathe too evenly.
And it’s worse than chaos.
Because you still feel it—the ghost of his glove at your chin. The memory of his voice.
“Kneel.”
One word. No inflection. But it cleaved something inside you wide open.
You press your thighs together.
No.
You stand. Shake it off. Walk to the sink. Splash cold water on your face. Again. Again. Again.
You stare into your reflection, and for the first time in a long time, you don’t see the sharp, clean lines of discipline and dignity. You see hunger. Controlled. Concealed. But there.
You whisper to yourself:
“It doesn’t mean anything.”
But it does.
Because he saw you. Touched you. Tested you.
And then he walked away.
And now you can’t stop thinking.
What does he see when he looks at you?
A weapon? A subject?
A problem he wants to solve?
Or a body he wants to crack open like a data-core and read until there’s nothing left?
Your breath hitches. You hate it.
You press your palm between your legs.
Not in pleasure. In control.
But your skin is already warm.
And you can’t lie to yourself anymore.
You’re wet. You’ve been wet.
You slide down onto the floor, back against the cold steel wall. One hand between your thighs, the other covering your mouth.
Not fast.
Not desperate.
Precise.
Like someone proving a theory.
Like someone collecting evidence of their own degradation.
...
And when you cum—it’s quiet. Controlled. Your mouth doesn’t open. Your body doesn’t shake.
But your eyes sting.
Because you hate that it’s him.
Not his face. Not his strength.
His restraint.
The way he makes you want permission.
You lie on the floor after. Eyes open. Cold now. Empty.
And you know—you’ll still show up tomorrow like nothing happened.
Because this isn’t about him.
This is about you.
Failing beautifully.
Exactly as he planned.
---
The Strategium is colder today. Or maybe you’re just more aware of it.
You walk in exactly on time. 06:00. Uniform crisp. Boots polished. Hair bound tightly at the crown of your head. Every detail perfect.
You do not flinch.
Guilliman is already present, standing at the hololith with a minor planetary governor who doesn’t deserve the oxygen he’s using. They speak in clipped tones. Guilliman doesn’t turn to look at you.
He doesn’t have to.
You feel his awareness land on you like pressure.
Not gaze. Not even presence.
Weight.
“Dismissed,” he says to the governor, not waiting for protest.
The man leaves. Fast.
Then it's just you.
And him.
And the echo of your own pulse behind your ears.
“Step forward,” he says.
You do.
“Your analysis of the Harrow Corridor?”
“Uploaded to your slate. Contingency plans B and F would lead to immediate collapse. I suggest D, with minor alterations.”
He doesn’t respond. Not immediately.
He just looks at you.
Not down at your mouth. Not at your hands.
At your eyes.
Like he’s scanning for microfractures in the glass.
You do not break.
“You’re composed,” he says.
“Yes, my lord.”
“Efficient.”
“Always.”
“Disciplined.”
“To the core.”
Another silence.
Then—
“Interesting.”
He turns back to the hololith.
You exhale slowly. Controlled. Not relief. Just airflow.
“You’ll join me tonight,” he says. “22:00. Sublevel Red. Don’t speak when you enter. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
“Yes, my lord.”
You turn to leave. He doesn’t stop you.
But just before the door seals behind you, you hear it.
Soft.
Flat.
But intentional.
“Next time,” he says, without looking,
“Try not to finish so quickly.”
...
The door seals behind you.
You don’t breathe.
You walk.
Not fast. Not slow. Measured.
Down the corridor. Past rows of lumens and data-inset stone. Past the Adeptus quarters and intake offices. Past the place where your old self might have stopped to catch her breath.
But you don’t stop.
Because if you do, you might not recover.
“Try not to finish so quickly.”
You hear it over and over. Not replayed. Reissued.
The tone. The timing. That awful, flat calm—like he hadn’t even decided to ruin you with it. Like it had already been decided for him. Like the data had come back and the analysis was done:
You broke. He saw. And now he owns that knowledge.
You make it to your quarters.
The second the door seals, your legs go soft.
You brace yourself on the desk. Not from weakness.
From impact.
The words won’t leave you.
“Try not to finish…”
Did he mean it cruelly?
Was it mocking? A warning? A rule?
You can’t tell.
And that’s what ruins you.
You peel off your gloves like they’re dirty. Like they’re too tight. Your breath comes shallow now, not with fear, not with heat, but with restraint.
You sit. You try to work.
You open the slate.
His initials are still there.
RG.
No signature.
No apology.
Just presence.
And you are full of it.
He saw you.
He watched you climax.
You keep thinking that.
And then you think worse things.
He didn’t just see you fall apart.
He timed it.
He measured it.
You can’t stop wondering if he watched all of it.
If he leaned forward.
If he catalogued the way you touched yourself. The part where your breath caught. The subtle tremble in your hips when you came and tried not to make a sound.
He saw.
He knows exactly how long you held your control.
He knows what your shoulders did, how your thighs shifted.
He knows you were trying to be quiet.
And he said nothing until you’d proven you could walk back into that room like nothing happened.
You passed.
That’s the worst part.
You passed, and now you’re in deeper than you were the day before.
You stand again. Pacing now.
Short bursts. Five steps. Turn. Four steps. Turn.
Your whole body buzzes with tension. Shame. Hunger.
But you don’t touch yourself.
Not now.
Because it’s not lust anymore. It’s obedience.
And you are waiting for permission.
Even if it never comes.
Even if he’s already decided not to give it.
You want to be angry.
You are angry.
You’re not weak. You’re not deviant. You’re not here for this.
And yet—
Your thighs ache.
Your pulse won’t slow.
And you can’t stop hearing it.
“Try not to finish so quickly.”
You stare at the wall. Cold and silent.
And whisper to no one:
“Fuck you.”
But your voice shakes.
Because you don’t mean it.
------------------------ to be continued------------
Thanks for reading (〃ω〃) hope I did our boy justice.
Can I label this gn!reader? Or is it more fem reader coded
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if-whats-new · 7 months ago
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What's New In IF? Issue 31 (2024)
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By Aj, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter
Now Available!
Itch.io - Keep Reading below
If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3
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~ EDITORIAL ~
Apologies for the delayed Issue!
As you might know, we unfortunately had to delay this Issue due to some personal matters. But as promised, it’s finally here! We wouldn’t want you to miss out on any news.
As this Issue says on the front page, it contains news from November 23rd to November 29th.
But! The Events should be updated to match their status on December 4th, as they are more time-sensitive.
Issue 32 should be released on time. That means two Issues this week!
We want some feedback!
As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form.
We hope you enjoy this new issue!
AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER
~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~
THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!
Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?
WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!
Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!
EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!
Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!
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~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : Videotome Jam - "Waiting" ~
November 16th to December 1st 2024
Videotome Jam is a two-week-long game jam for games made in any of the Videotome engines with the optional theme of "Waiting".
What is Videotome?
Videotome is a series of small homebrew IF/VN engines made by Freya Campbell (communistsister), an indie game developer focusing on narrative games that are usually:
science fiction, horror, &/or romance
close to 100% LGBTQ characters
free/PWYW with low tech requirements
liable to make players keysmash due to feelings
Videotome was first released in April 2022 as a part of a game entry for the Domino Club collective. The initial idea for the engine was to make writing text-heavy games as hassle-free as possible, focusing not that much on the visual presentation format, but more on the writer's experience. It would allow writers to write in a notepad and then it would somehow grab the .txt file and parse the lines into an array, spitting them out one line at a time as a kinetic novel.
At the moment there are four engines available:
Videotome, for linear, no frills text / images / music;
Videotome ADV, adding a more conventional layout with ignorable choices and branching;
Super Videotome, for more fully featured and freeform image/canvas use;
Videotome Heartbreak, adding a stat raising dating sim & storylets structure to the above.
If you're more interested in the process of making these engines, check out the devs blog post - Words, Friction, Syntax: Stuff I thought about when making Videotome. (The post also includes a very interesting case study concerning other game engines Freya has experience with.)
If you want to check out some examples of projects made with Videotome, take a look at this collection. It includes games made by both Freya and other devs.
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~ ENDED ~
The Educational Jam has ended. Check out the thirteen entries and learn something new!
The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 is officially over! Check out the results!
You can now check out all 16 entries to the Videotome Jam!
Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message. Check out the submissions!
~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~
A Very Hallmark Game Jam has entered the voting phase. You can now vote for your favourite out of the five entries.
~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~
Media depicting healthy examples of polyamory isn’t that common. The PolyJamorous 2024 is trying to break the status-quo!
This year’s Yuri Game Jam is in full progress. The devs have until December 2nd to submit their projects.
Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.
Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.
Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.
The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.
IF Short Games Showcase 2024 is a great way to shine some new light on your projects made in the past year (Jan 1, 2024 to Dec 31, 2024), regardless of whether or not they are previously released! You have until January 15th 2025 to join.
Winter Visual Novel Jam 2024 is here! You have until January 1st 2025 to submit your projects.
Are you familiar with Decker? Then why not take a part in the Deck-Month 2?
Another bitsy jam is here. This time with the theme "better late than never".
~ OTHER ~
PIZZAPRANKS is accepting submissions for their Indiepocalypse Issue #61. If you’re a dev and would like to try out your luck, definitely check it out! Any game is welcomed, not only IF.
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~ NEW RELEASE ~
You stand at the edge of a vast and foreboding cave system, its mouth yawning like the jaws of some ancient beast. This is no ordinary cave—it is the entrance to the Caverns of the Forgotten, a labyrinth of twisting tunnels, hidden chambers, and unfathomable mysteries that have claimed countless explorers before you.
Generations ago, invaders brought magic to the Kingdom of Jubai, setting battlemages at the top of the noble power structure and leaving everyone else oppressed. Now, a secret organization of mage hunters has risen up, phoenixlike, to stand against the mages' power and overthrow their rule. Can your secret order of mage hunters save the kingdom, or will internal strife tear you apart in Magehunter: Phoenix Flame (CScript)?
Today is your first day of work here at Toy Maker’s TOY BOX (Ren’Py). Pull apart stitches or rip off an arm or two; we support whatever you must do to ensure that you only save toys of the highest quality. Should you ever feel unsure, there’s no need to panic! Simply toss the trash where it belongs: the incinerator. After all, it’s of the utmost importance that inspectors upkeep the Maker’s image.
You're struggling for friends in a new town and decide to check out a cute diner! — 'That New Diner', huh? Odd name for a restaurant, but I see advertisements for it everywhere. Might as well check it out. Who knows, maybe I'll meet somebody?
What does the glass sound like? Quite tinkly. It crumbled into sand under the feet of all those worried people circling around. As for you, there was darkness in your eyes for a long time. And the glass has melted into silence long since. But what is this place? And who is this stranger standing in front of you? And most importantly, where — or who — did the bullet hit? — Monarch (Ren’Py) is a short visual novel game that was made during Ukrainian Micro Visual Novel Jam in 10 days.
Halloween is a big deal in Port Gillain, steeped as the town is in old folklore and ghost stories. You, the local psychic, regularly attend the festivities. This year, you can bring a friend. The Second Sight: All Hallow's Eve (Twine) is a companion story to The Second Sight: Dead Reckoning.
Your Aunt’s House (Adventuron) is a short story about mourning. @kessielrg
The story centers around Larry, a cab driver eking out a meagre existence in a dystopian near-future, until he unwittingly finds himself centre-stage in the midst of a technological revolution. — For the first time this multi-media project can be experienced in the form of an interactive novel. Larry Folger Volume I contains all the chapters of the ongoing narrative complete with music from the series.
Your feather, my wing is a game about getting close to the object of an experiment that your 'super-secret lab' leads! It's all about fun, fluff and cuddles. Nothing serious and if anyone from the "normal world" came to this organization, they'd be disappointed by the lack of pathos, mystery and seriousness. But do you care?
Nestled at the edge of an ancient forest, Ravenwood Hill looms like a shadowed sentinel against the pale moonlight. This is no ordinary place; whispers of its dark history echo through the trees, carried by the wailing wind. The townsfolk speak of disappearances, of mysterious lights flickering in the mansion atop the hill, and of secrets buried deep beneath its crumbling foundations. In Ravenwood Hill, you are the only one brave—or foolish—enough to uncover the truth.
As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!
~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~
Iberian Tales (Twine) - Life was once tranquil on the isolated coast of your city, surrounded by a loving family and promising prospects for success in your societal position. However, tranquility shattered as flames engulf your city, escape becomes the only viable option, if luck favors you enough to evade the soldiers blocking your path that is. @iberiantalesif-game
The Thorned Garden (CScript) is a Harem Intrigue game where you can die at any turn. Build up skills and connections to survive and climb the rankings. @opossumfern
Locked in a luxurious but ominous hotel, you are forced to face trials alongside five other people. Who abducted you and for what reason? What does the future hold with different organizations fighting for power over the world? And just how much is at stake when you play a twisted game without rules? Whether you want it or not, welcome to the Threshold (Twine). @thethreshold-if
5 days (Ren’Py) - Every step forward feels like another memory slipping through your fingers and yet, the world moves on — forcing you to find a way to follow, even when it feels impossible to let go.
~ UPDATES ~
As Gods Fall (CScript) released Chapters 4 and 5. @asgodsfall-if
Knight of Greenhaven (CScript) released Chapter 2.
Lost in your eyes (CScript) released part five of Chapter 3 on Patreon. @kathrinesadventures
Saturnine (CScript) added new content to their demo. @satur9-if
The Thousand Of Us (CScript) added new content to their public demo. @ivanwm-05
Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to their demo. @jcollinswrites
The Summoner (CScript) released a part of Chapter 4.
Ashenmaw - Dragons of Marrowoods (CScript) added a part of Chapter 1 to their demo. @ashenmaw-if
Our Life: Now and Forever (Ren’Py) added Step 2 introduction scenes to their public demo. @gb-patch
Wasteland Pony Express added new content to their demo. @katieaki
The In-Between (CScript) released Chapter 11. @dalekowrites
Crown of Exile (Twine) released Chapter 10 on Patreon. @ramonag-if
~ OTHER ~
350p Adventure has been ported from Infor 6 to PunyInform. You can either download it or play it online in your browser. — (Some interesting trivia: The game is sometimes called Advent, because the system it was created on in the 70s would not allow filenames to be more than six characters long. This game is sometimes considered as the very first text adventure.)
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As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.
If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!
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~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~
We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...
Shoot us an email!
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~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~
A couple of games that we thought were cool.
Your favourite game here?
Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?
An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?
Tell us about it! And it might appear here!
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WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...
Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!
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As we end this issue, we would like to thank:
our awesome mysterious anon!
all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!
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And see you again on Saturday!
AJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER
WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 31
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