#give me a pair of gay people and watch the magic happen

[magscherer]

something about stargazing and meteor showers

[lilareviewsbooks]

Books for Good Omens fans!

Are you emotionally scarred by the ending of season 2? Is the wait for season 3 going to be excruciating for you? Are you looking for something that’ll fill those voids? Look no further, Good Omens fan! I have some media for you to consume!

The Tea Dragon Series, starting with The Tea Dragon Society, by K. O’Neil

71 pages (first book)

Contains: tea magic!; a cute sapphic romance; queer rep all around :)

If you like Good Omens because of how fluffy it can be (though that season finale was not fluffy), I highly recommend this series! The Tea Dragon Society is a comic book trilogy following Greta, who is swept into the world of caring for tea dragons, tiny little creatures that grow tea leaves on their foreheads. 

As is the case with Good Omens, this trilogy includes a lot of queer representation. It’s written by a non-binary author, K. O’Neil, who introduces us to queer characters of all identities. Also much like Good Omens, there is no discussion of homophobia or transphobia. There’s also a sapphic romance between Greta and her love interest, which is very sweet! This is perfect if you need a pick-me-up after season 2, and if the fluffier aspects of Good Omens are your favorites!

The Greenhollow Duology, starting with a Silver In The Wood, by Emily Tesh

112 pages (first book)

Contains: the fae!!; enchanted woods; middle-aged gay people!!

If what brings you joy in Good Omens is it’s middle-aged leads, I give you Silver in the Wood, and its companion Drowned Country. These two stories are quite episodic – much like Crowley and Aziraphale’s little adventures – and feature a pair of middle-aged men who fall in love against the backdrop of supernatural things afoot.

Apart from representing the older portion of the queer community, The Greenhollow Duology is also brilliantly written and very atmospheric. It will place you inside the cottage where most of the action happens, and you will be able to feel the magic in the air. Both of the books are novellas, and so are quite short reads you can enjoy whenever!

A Series of Unfortunate Events, starting with The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket

176 pages (first book)

Contains: adults that are incompetent; children that are very competent; quirky writing!

If your favorite aspect of Good Omens is its quirkiness, I give you: A Series of Unfortunate Events! This middle-grade series follows a trio of siblings as they are passed from distant relative to distant relative after their parents’ mysterious death, all the while being chased by the evil Count Olaf.

This series reminds me of Good Omens for its tongue-in-cheek humor. Mr. Snicket is a master at metatextual comedy, that is, making jokes about the text itself. I’ve always had a lot of fun reading his writing! A TV show adaptation of this series has been made, and it’s on Netflix, but I haven’t watched it all the way through and can’t speak to how good it is, but it’s worth a shot if you’re feeling like watching something! Though I have to warn you: no gay people here :( 

A Master of Djinn, by P. Djeli Clark

438 pages

Contains: alternate history; a steampunk Cairo; muslim rep!!

A Master of Djinn is for those among you who want to see gay people save the world. I give you: gay people saving the world. This one follows Agent Fatma of the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments and Supernatural Entities in an alternate, steampunk-y Cairo, where magic was brought to life by mage Al-Jahiz, many years ago. Fatma is faced with a mysterious murder and must join forces with her lover Siti to find out what happened – except it’s waaay more complicated than it seems…

I think this reminds me of Good Omens the most because there’s a very cool dynamic between Siti and Fatma. Much like Crowley and Aziraphale, they have opposing views on a lot of things, religion for instance, and must reconcile that with their love for one another. They’re also very much ride-or-die for each other, and go on many supernatural adventures together, just like our favorite couple in Good Omens! It also features elements of fantasy being woven into a “normal” world, in this case even affecting history as we know it, to build an alternate reality! 

But, be warned: there is discussion of homophobia and sexism in this book!

This is part of larger universe, namely the Dead Djinn Universe, which includes two other novellas. You can read them in this order, or choose to start with A Master of Djinn. The novel is self-contained and will explain everything you need to know!

The Mimicking of Known Successes, by Malka Older

169 pages

Contains: a murder mystery; a second chance romance; humans living on one of Jupiter’s moons!

Another one for gay people who just like a nice couple they can follow around as they unravel some intrigue, and who were desperately infatuated with “detective Aziraphale”: The Mimicking of Known Successes is a Sherlock Holmes-like story following Pleiti and Mossa, a couple of ex-girlfriends whose paths cross again when Mossa begins investigating a mysterious murder. This one takes place on a human colony in one of Jupiter’s moons, but, apart from that, is not very hard sci-fi. There’s not really any science-y bits that I can remember. Mostly, it’s just a murder mystery, but set in space!

It’s perfect for Good Omens fans who love following a couple with a long history. Not to mention, it also has an almost grumpy/sunshine dynamic that kinda reminds me of Crowley and Aziraphale. And since I know most of us Good Omens fans were once deep in the Sherlock trenches, I thought I’d add this one to cure your heart’s many, many wounds (oh, Steven Moffatt… One day, one day you will pay…)

This is not currently part of a series, but a second novella,  The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles, will be published in 2024.

That’s all I got, everyone! If you’d like some more books that, just like Good Omens, don’t delve into homophobia or transphobia, I have a whole list of books that fit the bill! :) 

[firstkanaphans]

hello!!! gmmtv part 2 is supposed to happen in april so i figured i would ask you the following questions just for fun :D:

which couples do you want to see?? what kind of shows do you want them to do??? is there anything you wouldn't want to see at all???

<3

Let me preface this by saying that the only thing I truly want is another high-quality BL for FK and I will sacrifice everything else on this list for that. But this is such a fun question, thank you for asking it!

Which couples do you want to see? 

FirstKhaotung

NeoMark

Fah with literally any woman I am begging (bonus points if it’s Jane or Aye)

[There are a few other ghost ships I’m salivating for, but they would involve splitting up a CP and I know GMMTV’s not ready for that]

As for which couples I think we’ll actually see:

FirstKhaotung

PerthChimon

ForceBook

KristSingto

and either NeoMark or both Neo and Mark as half of their own ship 

I’m fairly confident about all of those simply because none of them were given much of anything at all in Part 1. And also, if they don’t give Neo a leading role this year, he would be dumb to stay with GMMTV. Surely someone on their staff realizes that.

What kind of shows do you want to see them in? [I assume it goes without saying that I want all of it to be gay]

My biggest hope for FK is simply that they are given something age appropriate—meaning something set outside of a school. (Unless they’re teachers. That I can work with.) They just get so excited when they’re allowed to play actual adults and I want them to have that opportunity. 

I have a full list of romcoms I would like to see them in here, but honestly they’d be able to make anything work as long as they get a good script. I also still haven’t given up my hope for a Semantic Error remake, but I do realize that’s a pipe dream.

For NeoMark, I really want a sports BL like You’re My Sky and I think they would do absolutely fantastic at it. 

Regardless of pairing, I would like to see more cinematic settings from GMMTV. Maybe something historical? Or a thriller like Manner of Death? And I’m still holding out hope for Homeschool Season 2 with a KhaoGun romance subplot because Khao has been wanting to kiss that man for like a decade at this point and I think he deserves the chance.

Is there anything you wouldn’t want to see?

Well, there are definitely people I wouldn't want to see *cough* Foei *cough*

As far as plots go, I’m open to anything but I’m not a huge fan of New Siwaj so I’m still hoping that the reason First and Khaotung follow him on Twitter has nothing to do with their next series.

I’m also not eager to continue watching able-bodied actors play disabled characters who magically heal themselves by the end of the series, but I get a sense that GMMTV either isn’t aware or doesn’t care about the backlash surrounding the Last Twilight finale because Pluto is still a thing, so… 

Overall, I’m very hopeful for Part 2, but I’ve certainly been disappointed before. If you want more insane predictions from me, you can check out this list I posted before Part 1. Ironically, my wish for a “Fluke Pusit lead” ended up coming true. It’s just not GMMTV who gave it to me 😂

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - An Overload of Cute

July 2022 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Triage (grey) Ep 13 fin - Sing & Gap turned out to be the true heroes of this story. I liked Triage a lot, I thought the plot was good if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry, and the support characters were likable (or unlikable as required). I feel much as a did with Manner of Death, which is to say: this feels less BL than it does gay romantic suspense. If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot. However, I’m into BL for the romance and the rewatchability, and this had very little of either, so I’m giving this: 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS, but I rate it knowing this is going on many people’s best of the year lists, and I totally understand why. Full review here. This author has another BL in the works (the one with Fluke but no Ohm) titled Make a Wish which seems to be a lighter medical fantasy about a doctor who can see ghosts. I’m looking forward to it. 

Vice Versa (Sat on YouTube) Ep 3 - The show is a little bit confusing but it’s very engaging (and I don’t mind having to suspend my disbelief while the characters figure out the world-building, I come out of SF/F so this feels natural to me). We are on ep 3 and they’re already in the bath together? GMMTV what has happened to you? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked. (Also delighted, of course.) Am I the only one really enjoying VV? Maybe, but I am really enjoying it. I should remind you all that magical realism is one of my favorite sub genres of BL. I recently re-watched Color Rush and yes, it is still one of my favorites of all time.

Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 6 - One of the few Thai BL‘s that’s still working for me right now, and it shouldn’t be. What can I say? YinWar win the Great 2022 Chemistry in Bad BL Wars (TM) 2022, even over BounPrem. Vee is an arse. It was very satisfying to watch Mark punch him (I rewound 3x). Might be one of my favorite moments of the week. Mark standing up for himself at last was great, but he should’ve broken up with Vee for at least one ep. You know I want my semes to SUFFER.

Coffee Melody (Mon Viki) Ep 2 - Aside from very Thai pacing (read: SLOW AF) this show almost has a Korean feel to it (in the Behind Cut vein). Jean is MINE, I love him so much. I’m not wild about the lead though. (I keep getting Sunoo of Enhyphen vibes off him, is that just me?) Frankly, this show is v pretty but a bit boring, even Pavel in an apron isn’t saving it for me. But I’ll keep watching for this sparkle: 

Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 5-6 - It’s just terrible. TRASH WATCH (up to ep 4) IS HERE! 

Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 7-8 - The amusement park date that never ends. I watch this show 1.5x speed and I’m still skipping through most of it. It got somewhat pleasingly traumatic in the last five minutes, but I could not care less. That’s (prequel) ep 0 was so good and I wish that was all we ever got. The fact that the rest of this series has failed to live up the promise of that debut reminds me a bit of that first KP Trailer. Yes, I said it. I think I might DNF. (And I’m now really worried about Bed Friends.) 

Even Sun (Wed iQIYI) Ep 4-5 - I am so bored with this show. Just give us Between Us. We’re tired of all this other nonsense. If it weren’t almost done I’d DNF. 

My Secret Love (Sat YouTube Sat) Ep 9 - I am skipping everything that doesn’t have the Tim storyline in it. Also Pete is great, forthright and clear and sweet. I don’t believe his bad reputation. Anyone else keep thinking that the actor playing Tim would’ve made a great Dr Pha in 2 Moons 2? Just me?

New Thai BL universals rule? 

Story arcs with characters named Pete are always good. 

Despite an influx of new shows in August I am feeling the sudden inexplicable urge to rewatch Make it Right. Huh. 

His tongue! Come ON Shin, let some of us live, even if you can’t extend that grace to Minato.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 5 - I like this show so much I started a SQUEE WTACH ALONG (because it’s not a trash watch but requires so much thought and analysis). So I’ll stop overloading the weekly recaps here. So this week, there was an attempted make-out, a side dish manifested (yes, we love this for Asuka), and nothing has progressed but I am still fucking over the moon over this darn BL.  

Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 10 - Look Bah Vinh just gives great sex scenes. It’s funny how many mismatches in chemistry we get out of Thailand, and this boy pretty much has good chemistry with anybody he acts opposite. I don’t know how he does it, but I am impressed. Did anything really happen in this episode? Nope. Does anything ever really happen in the show? Nope. Are they serving up prime domesticity? Of course they are. This is Vietnam, you get what you pay for.

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 6 - It was a fun confession and a sweet if chaste kiss. But I don’t think I’m ever gonna like this show very much. It’s OK but the premise makes me uncomfortable. I look forward to the flash forward a year next ep, hopefully the uke has developed a backbone and gotten over his hero worship.

In Case You Missed It

Gameboys 2 is on GaGa now... for some, not me, tho. 

Semantic Error the movie (a repackage with extra content) is being rolled out into actual theaters first (Korea, Taiwan, and Japan so far). So unlike the other Viki movies, we will have to wait for it. Hopefully not FOREVER like Cherry Magic. 

Love of Siam stars, Mario (in the same shirt as the movie) and Pchy, reunited in an equal rights event in the middle of Siam Square. Love of Siam released in 2007 (Nov 22 will be its 15th anniversary). It’s wildly considered Thailand’s first BL. 

About Youth dropped a trailer finally, it looks SO GOOD! Like Taiwan’s Love Sick. This is one I’ll be motivated to track down.... somehow. 

Viki dropped the movie versions of Oh! Boarding House (review here) and Ocean Likes Me (review here). 

They also got and are distributing (to USA) DNA Says Love You which I adore and highly recommended (so if you missed it on GaGa go watch it on Viki, push through the first 3 eps, it’s WORTH IT, I promise.) 

Gossip

2023 Thai fundraising teaser dropped for a SF dystopian BL Wish You Luck  from Studio Commuan (new to me, they have another one coming next month: SELF the series) about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent trying to survive after a meteorite global destroyer. Stars Tonnam (Dr Sing in Triage) and Title (our beloved baby Nut from the Yearbook). Normally I don’t report on teasers but I LOVE THIS IDEA. Tropes include: sci-fi, dystopian, survivor, paranormal, country setting, tsundere/sunshine. trailer. (Not to be confused with Wish Me Luck which is about office workers.) 

@bluesandfilms​ reported in that the leads from Taiwanese BL Plus and Minus (review here) seem to be IRL dating. Warning: Their show has ended but they are both still doing promo. I checked their respective IGs (@.chenghao.shih and @.bbalin1000) and they look like an actual couple, but they are still tagging their couples’ shots with the show’s hashtag so... suspicious. Then again, actors are always ON. Anygay, I don’t read Mandarin, someone can confirm for me if they like. No formal statement has been issued from their agencies, but it’s Taiwan, they don’t haffa do any of this. I’m not being anti, just cautious. If they are together I wish them more success than most actor relationships. Also I *think* this would be the first gay couple to come out of a BL, are we surprised it’s Taiwan? 

Adventures in Miss Captioning

Been a while since I had one of these. 

“You don’t need to poke your face so close.” Technically the words used and placed are correct but also no one would actually say this in English. Except me now. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

War of Y starts Tuesday on AISPLY and/or GMT+8 YouTube. COPY A BANGKOK brings us 20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense starring the boys from Y-Destiny and SCOY. If it’s easy to get hold of Stateside I’ll watch it but otherwise, I’m not fussed. 

On Cloud Nine (8 eps) a country-set atmospheric series from MindTrio starts Saturday. No idea on distribution, but since it looks sad I am, again, not fussed. 

21 Days Theory (8 eps) a high school BL from Rookie Thailand that looks to be high angst, messy, cheating, and a secret crush, starring Bever (En of Love: TOSSARA, The Best Story, Love Mechanics) and Tee (The Cupid Coach) starts Sunday. Probubly airing on Rookie Thailand’s YT channel. 

I have a list of all the BLs coming in August here. 

This week’s best moments?

Calling all us out, sheesh (Love Mechanics). 

Jean (Coffee Melody) my PRECIOUS CHILD who I love for ever and MUST protect. 

Side dishes in Unforgotten Night giving the show, and me, life. 

Don’t look so innocent, Shin, we all know what’s going on in that pretty head now, don’t we? (Minato’s Laundromat) 

Gotta stan the confident gay (My Secret Love). 

What can I say? (Vice Versa) 

Want to See You bringing the neck kisses. Thank you. 

(last week)

[dramalets]

Okay it’s prediction time. I’ve sorted these through almost nailed on too just I am allowed my fantasies okay.

Nailed on (if these don’t happen I’ll be shocked)

New shows for the young pairs that didn’t get one in part one. They’re all extremely bankable and there is zero way GMMTV aren’t going to take advantage of that. My personal desires would be something with a bit more bite for First/Khao and something a bit dramatic for Perth/Chimon.

Some kind of new het ensemble. I think maybe including some of the youngers who’ve not really done het yet. Force for instance has a large following and hasn’t done anything major out of pair yet. He’d work well in some kind of het ensemble.

Nanon het something. I think the kids been too burned by delulus to do a BL again anytime soon but he’s talked a lot about getting back to acting. So a het project seems likely.

New KristSingto project. Idk if it’s gonna be a sotus prt3 or something new but it’s happening.

New projects for TayNew & OffGun. They’ve had big years and they seem comfortable in wanting to push on. Perhaps something darker for OffGun? They’ve had a run of softer things.

Some new het thing for the usual het suspects.

One or two new GLs. (I’m hoping Jan/someone and Cize/someone. Or Jan/Cize. I really don’t care just give me the GL’s)

Boun/Prem. could be the vampire show could be something else whatever it is GMMTV is going to want to cash in on their popularity. (Probably going to in general make use of all their new acquisitions.)

More concerts

Idk probably some dance based reality show that I’ll never watch or remember until one of the winners breaks out into dramas.

Perhaps (could be)

Mark/Ohm. They’ve teased it so much. It feels unlikely it won’t be a thing but, also, Mark is a tease so I’m sticking it here in case it was just him pissing around.

An original pillars concert. Singto’s back. It would make bank. Seems a thing that could happen.

Another Japanese adaptation. Idk what? But with the success of Cherry Magic it seems possible. So long as it isn’t something deeply, intrinsically Japanese (I swear to god if you touch My Beautiful Man GMMTV I’m flying to Thailand and yelling at people) then I think it could be okay.

Full trailers for things like Ossan’s Love

A het thing for Gemini.

Maybe a Kdrama remake for someone like Mook. She’s a real talent and proven herself in het roles plenty at this point.

Listen a girl can dream

Something with actual bite for Fourth. The kid is talented. He deserves more than what he’s getting. I respect he’s young and bankable to teens but his acting talent is also being squandered. I’m not talking about high heat, I really rarely am when I say more bite, I’m talking about something with a bit of a darker plot and more opportunity for the kid to act.

Aou/Boom main role no ensemble. It’s my dream okay fuckers.

An ensemble for some of the talented and neglected side actors. Ford comes screaming to mind. Kid kills his roles every time.

Santa/Lego. Sorry but the visuals would be so pretty and I think they could have a similar energy to Santa/Earth and I loved them.

Some kind of highschool/college ensemble for the tiny wee babies. We need to get to know them better and ensembles help that.

Gay I’m Tee, Me Too. It should have been gay, we all know it, give me another ensemble with the original pillars.

[airenyah]

see the thing is, i don't even mind getting multiple series with the same branded pair bc a lot of them are fun to watch!!

however, it annoys me to no end when i'm only getting branded pair™ content multiple years in a row.

and it's just so frustrating when they'll have branded pairs do bl content only with each other

i'm all for actor pairs doing multiple projects together (especially if they get along well and have a lot of fun with it) but for the love of god give them a break in between. let them do other stuff in between. and don't be cowards when it comes to letting the actors of those branded bl couples pair up as leads in a bl with someone who is NOT their Branded Partner™

we could have the best of both worlds: a series with our fave pairs every other year and in between we could get to see what kind of dynamics and magic can happen when they work with other people

i just get so sad when i think about all the hidden gems we're missing out on just bc all of these actors are limited to just one single gay romance acting partner only

[alastorseye]

About Remadora

When I say I really hate the HP fandom, I'm talking about the "fans" that hate everything about the saga, but still having Harry Potter accounts. They change the original story, claim that fanonical facts are canon, and launch hatred and death threats at those who simply like HARRY POTTER JUST THE WAY IT IS. Yes, I'm mostly talking about Marauders fans, which I joined after reading the books because I thought it would be interesting and funny. I suddenly realized how toxic and hateful that fandom was, it's like a cult dedicated to deifying Remus, Sirius, James and Regulus, and it seems that hating Snape, Dumbledore, and Remadora is a requirement to be a part of it.

At the beginning I used to consider Wolfstar as something funny, a bromance, it never bothered me, I mean... every fandom has fanon ships and I respect that, but the way they always hate Remadora and their shippers is something that MUST stop.

"You see!" said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely -"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front ofLupin's robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times. . . ." And the meaning of Tonks's Patronus and her mouse-colored hair, and the reason she had come running to find Dumbledore when she had heard a rumor someone had been attacked by Greyback, all suddenly became clear to Harry; it had not been Sirius that Tonks had fallen in love with after all."

"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes,staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor . . . too dangerous. . ."

When I read this part of the HBP I realized that Remadora was my favorite Harry Potter ship. Of course I wasn't aware of the death threats I'd receive later. I've read some "reasons" why some fans hate Remadora.

"Tonks forced him!"

We all know how insecure Remus was. I don't have to explain what's written in Wizarding World (Pottermore). This is the Remus bio:

Well, we can read that Remus was really attracted to Dora.

"Remus, so often melancholy and lonely, was first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten by the young witch. He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen. However, this was war; they were both needed in the Order of the Phoenix, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. Remus felt justified in remaining exactly where he was, keeping his feelings to himself but secretly rejoicing every time somebody paired him with Tonks on some overnight mission".

This is so sad and cute, and that's undeniable. I cried when I read it. If someone still thinking that Dora forced Remus to marry her after reading this paragraph... I mean... they're probably talking about another book series.

"The age gap!"

I'm so satisfied to know that some Remadora shippers have explained this. When it's about a kid and an adult... OF COURSE IS HORRENDOUS! Because children are not physically and mentally prepared to have romantic relationships. Wizards are legally adults at 17, REMUS MET TONKS WHEN SHE WAS 21!

I mean, many old people abuses of young people innocence, or something. But we all know that Remus wasn't one of those! He really loved Tonks, and that's canon. I don't know what's doing in the fandom people who denies canon facts.

Remus and Tonks were two physically, mentally, and legally adults loving each other.

"Remus didn't love her!"

He was an introvert, Tonks was an extrovert, she made his life better. And of course, I loved the way he introduced himself when he was trying to prove he wasn't a Death Eater:

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a Patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag." (Remus Lupin, DH)

Maybe I'm not the only one who perceive he was proud to be Nymphadora Tonks husband.

"I.. I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and have regretted it very much every since". (Remus Lupin, DH)

This phrase makes more sense after reading Remus bio. He used to think that he was "too poor, too dangerous" for her. He thought he wasn't enough for her. He never imagined that she would love him back. He was a werewolf, and of course he knew he was dangerous, you only need to be emphatic to realize he tried to get away from Tonks because he loved her, he didn't want to hurt his beloved woman!

If you don't believe me, read this again. It's in the chapter 11 of Deathly Hallows:

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!"

So, if Remus was trying to escape it's because he loved them, he thought he spoiled their lives. And of course, no one likes to feel that their influence is bad for someone they love!

"Their relationship came from nowhere! They don't have a development"

Well, the saga's name is HARRY POTTER, not The Love Life of Remus Lupin. The story is about the tragic life of this kid and everything he went through to save the world of a cruel and dark villain. I know many readers are young people in love, and they only want to ship everything, but that's not the main topic here, maybe mother's love would be the topic. Of course Ron and Hermione had a development because they were HARRY'S BEST FRIENDS, and they were always with him, from Philosopher's Stone to Cursed Child. Remus and Tonks are minor characters, and it's funny the fact that this usually comes from Wolfstar shippers, so... is Wolfstar more developed than Remadora?! I mean... they can ship whatever they want, Snape and the Sorting Hat, Dobby and Voldemort, anything, but that does not give them the right to disrespect such a cute, tragic and beautiful canon ship as Remadora.

"They are queercoded! Their relationship is homophobic!"

It's surprising to hear this. It's like... people gets angry just because the author doesn't make queer their favourite characters? I will explain why I don't think Remus and Tonks are "queercoded":

Whether through their dress, their behavior, their language, or other subtle forms of implication, queer characters were written or designed to communicate their unstated queerness to those who were searching for representation.

And this is the definition on the website Pride.com:

"Using LGBTQIA tropes and stereotypes to allude to a character's sexuality without explicitly confirming it in the text."

We all know that Disney used queercoding on characters like Ursula, Scar, Jaffar. And why do we know that? Because DISNEY WANTED TO PORTRAY THEM LIKE THAT, get it? Disney, THE CREATORS MADE THESE CHARACTERS INTENTIONALLY QUEER. How? BASED ON STEREOTYPES.

And going back to Remadora, I was really happy to see by first time a bada*ass woman, with short hair who wasn't portrayed as a lesbian just because the way she looks. This character didn't follow the: "Straight women have long hair and are girly", and "short dyied hair is for lesbians". I'm very very very surprised the fandom follows these stereotypes.

About Remus: I don't know how the phrase "being a werewolf is a metaphor about people with HIV AIDS" means "he's gay". Fenrir Greyback bit him when he was a kid. Many people interpret this as "r4pe". Okay, even thinking that it is the meaning of the "bite", I still cannot understand how being "r4ped" and "infected" makes him queer. Is this (again) a stereotype about people with AIDS and gay?

"JK Rowling created Remadora because she didn't like people shipping Wolfstar!"

It is true that fans love shipping everything, they queerbait and queercode everything. That's great, that's not the problem. The problem is when people starts bashing fans who ship canon straight couples. A very good example is the polemic on Falcon and Bucky relationship, some fans wanted them to be a gay couple, Anthony Mackie said that two men can only be friends, and there is no need to always give them a romantic connotation. People cancelled him, they called him homophobic. Yes, just because a person with authority (on the story they're following") didn't like the fact of queercoding their favourite characters. It's the same about Remadora.

Grindeldore is a very interesting and underrated couple by the way. You can love or hate JK Rowling, but the truth is that Harry Potter story is hers, and even if Remadora was "because she didn't like Wolfstar", she is the author, it was her mind where these characters first appeared, as a big Harry Potter fan I respect and like the original story, that's not a sin. An author has the right to make some changes if some characters were misunderstood by the readers.

(Yes, I wrote this a bit angrily since I've seen too much hate towards Remadora shippers)

[captnjacksparrow]

Why do I ship SNS?

It is a known fact that when people experience a good media, they like to discuss various things they liked, hated, interpret what the creator trying to say and get something from what they have consumed. Eventually people end up in a shipping war if there are multiple possibilities. 

I started watching Naruto on a whim, hoping to see some ninjas in action with some revenge as a background (after all when you have power, there will always be a revenge). Am a sucker for revenge, btw. I am a person who hates romance in media. Because, every movie, book, novel, series has this same recycled romance plastered into every story even though the story don’t need at all. So, I am very tired of it. Every media portrays romance as something inevitable, necessary and something we can’t live without. That’s wrong. 

Usually, romance goes like this... Person A sees Person B... they hate each other and add some possessiveness, jealousy... they magically gets attracted through some shared experiences eventually... they kiss and make babies. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s just very tiring as I’ve seen million forms of this same repeated trope. I always cringe and yell “Can you give us something different? Grrr.....”.

And also, my motto is that love can happen with any person. It can’t be restrained into certain boundaries. So, I don’t like to put some relationship under an umbrella called Gay, Lesbian, Straight or whatever. Of course, illicit relationships and incest are not normal and am not okay with it.

With all that being said...

My experience after watching the Shippuden series until episode 478 was “Wait, do they love each other?”. I know am very late to realize this, but I have never even viewed them with any romantic lens throughout. 

On my first watch, I was always under the impression that “They are friends”... But there are certain moments I felt “Wait, why are they doing like this which could’ve been handled in a different way!!” I will get to this later in this post. But those moments were overlooked by me because of my curiosity of “What happens next ??”. 

And on my rewatch, it only confirmed my view. 

The other popular ships like SS and NH put forth many points to invalidate what SNS represents. The most common being “They are reincarnated brothers” or  “They are best friends”. Am just going to debunk them from my point of view. 

Naruto and Sasuke are like brothers.....

Nope. 

The best brotherhood title, in this series, should officially go to Itachi and Sasuke. 

You can argue as much as you want that Itachi mindfucked Sasuke and killed his parents....yaada yaada.... 

It is repeatedly shown why Itachi put a curtain on his own clan. The reason is, Uchiha clan decided to forcefully take over the village. No matter how much innocent you are, you cannot take over something with force. Dot. I will write about this in a separate post.

In short, Sasuke realised how his clan members were wrong after hearing the story from the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju. That’s why he openly proclaimed “I am going to protect Konoha and become Hokage”. 

Back to the topic, Itachi and Sasuke are blood brothers. If I ship them both, then what you claim is very valid. 

The above gif says, “Sasuke, I know, I made a mistake by filling you with hatred. But whatever you decide to do from now on, I will love you always”. Meaning, He stopped treating Sasuke as a kid and accepts that Sasuke has his own path to walk.

This is exactly how brothers behave. I would do the same to my kid sister. You can see a fraternal instinct from Itachi’s eyes realizing that this is their last time together.

Another thing, Brothers trope always has this hierarchy.... Protect the younger sibling no matter what. It is evident from Madara/Izuna and Hashirama/Tobirama.

Not convinced?

If you pull the Indra and Ashura bullshit, let me tell you one thing. Indra and Ashura were separated and formed their own clan long ago. They eventually branched off into Uchiha and Senju clans. No way you can relate a century old blood relation as brothers. It’s just their chakra got reincarnated over and over. 

Don’t pull up an incest angle between Naruto and Sasuke. Because they never shared a womb. Dot. 

Naruto and Sasuke are Best Friends only.

You know what, you are almost right. I thought that for a very long time. Remember I never wore any shipping goggles ON. 

There are two types of best friend categories. Best Friends without a reason and Best Friends through rivalry. 

Best Friends without a reason in Narutoverse are: Shikamaru/Choji. 

They just became friends and became BFF. They won’t fight or hurt each other. But when you have something to share...you would go to that person and share everything honestly.

Best Friends through Rivalry: Kakashi/Obito, Hashirama/Madara, Naruto/Sasuke

I really cannot provide more proof for the first two pairings as Best Friends as it is not the scope of this post. Although the latter two also qualifies for shipping category. Why?

Because, the common thing among them is that all the three Uchihas awakened/reawakened their Sharingan for their best friend. But Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke are the only pairings to awaken or evolve Sharingan when trying to break their bonds with each other. 

Special Brownie points for Madara. He had 4 brothers and lost 3 but still couldn’t awaken his Sharingan but when trying to break up with Hashirama, his eyes were brimming red. 

Sasuke’s Sharingan matures in the first Valley of The End.

That’s why I excluded Hashirama/Madara and Naruto/Sasuke from this Best Friends list.

Because to the both Uchihas, the other person meant something special which cannot be comprehended into a mere term called ‘Best Friends’.

Which is exactly why Kakashi/Obito would perfectly fall into this category.

The way they quarrel, fight with each other, protect each other are perfect scores for a friendship. What makes them best friends is when Obito decided to give his Sharingan despite Kakashi was always putting a cold air around him and most importantly asked him to protect his love ‘Rin’. Also Kakashi carried his friend’s will to his heart and passed on to Team 7.

It all falls under ‘In the memory of my Best Friend’ trope.

Obito may be a trash but he is a good friend. Because after Rin was killed, he massacred everyone around him except for Kakashi. He could have killed him. Understandable. Or he could have plucked his Sharingan back (because he literally plucked most of the Sharingans from the Uchiha clan massacre and kept those eyes as a reserve). This could have enabled him to use Susanoo. I believe Susanoo can only be used with Mangekyo Sharingan in both eyes. But for some reason, he didn’t. 

So what makes me think Naruto and Sasuke love each other, not as a brother and not as a friend but something beyond which I can’t term?

My way of shipping is not about marriage, sex and rearing babies. Because literally everyone does this as an obligation. 

So, I don’t ship them in terms of living together in my headcanon and having sex daily. Nope. But it is not wrong though if you ship in that sense.

In this Narutoverse, Women are just some stow away pieces whose sole existence is to fawn over their dreamboy and cry for them. (Usually literally nothing useful comes out of them). Me being a girl, as much as I hate this setup but I have come to terms with whatever it is and have accepted it. If you are a girl looking for a strong female character...... this is not the place. Watch something else. 

But I draw inspiration from male characters who are characterized deeply for which I have to applaud the creator. Reason being, the very first character which I connected with was Itachi. It was when Sasuke thinks about his past with his family in the flashback before the first VotE battle in part I. I will be writing a separate post about Itachi in this week. 

In short, If you are a person who wants inspiration, draw it from male characters. Not in a single moment, you stoop so low for characters like Hinata and Sakura. That’s not how I envision myself or any woman. Dot.

With all this being said, I ship them as a couple who necessarily don’t have to get married or have sex... But they each other has some special allowance towards each other in their hearts which no one can touch, not even their wives or children. 

This doesn’t mean I accept what came after episode 478 as they are literally something they made for $$$$$. 

There are some basic traits which are absolutely necessary for a ship to sail successfully. They are Acknowledgement, Reason, No Hierarchy, Influence, Owning each others rights and Privilege. (All these reasons should come from both the sides for the ship to be worthy)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Acknowledgement, I mean here, is to accept and acknowledge what they are to each other.

They both agree that they are Bonded/Friends verbally as well as emotionally.

To me, this is essential in any relationship especially for the ones you are trying to ship. I didn’t see this in any other ships like SS or NH where it is always one sided. Sakura confessed before the village entrance to which Sasuke said “You really are annoying!!”. Hinata proposed in Pain arc. Naruto didn’t even acknowledge her confession. He went on to beg for pardon for Sasuke. Again she proposed in the War at the expense of Love Cupid “Neji”. Naruto went on to joke with Minato that Sakura is his Girl Friend. 

If I were in both of these girls place, I would literally be mad and drop this shit right away.

Wheras in SNS, I saw both the people I am trying to ship were asking “What am I to you?”, to which they reply “You are my friend”. To me this is very important.

Reason

To those who are saying “Love is blind”, “Love is Madness”, “Love needs no reason”, you all need self-evaluation. This is not some K Drama situation where you don’t need any reason. You should know why you love someone and why you need the other’s presence.

Naruto’s reason is very simple.

I could provide many reasons. But here, Sasuke, without any reservations... knowing full well of the consequence if he feed Naruto but still extended the helping hand to someone who was always hostile. It is just like what Iruka did. And many incidents which happened during Land of the Waves arc are evident.

He wanted to be friends with this lonely Uchiha boy way back when he was around 7 or 8 for a simple reason that he understands his pain more than anyone. But he really became friends when they were grouped together for Team 7.  

Sasuke’s reason goes even way beyond when Naruto series started.

“Because he felt relief”.

Imagine a young boy who witnessed a massacre before his eyes and lost everyone he loved. But somehow another young boy of his age made him feel relieved. This explains why Sasuke went all out of his way to make friendship with Naruto despite being aloof. 

Isn’t this what we want from someone we love?  

Rather than being completely insensitive about an orphan life or just stalking from the distance and never offered any support, I would prefer someone who understands my pain from their heart and try to reach me. Sasuke reached out to him by offering the lunch and Naruto reached out to him by making him his rival and bug him.

NO HIERARCHY

This is pretty self-explanatory. Unlike blood brothers, there should be no hierarchy in a relationship I want to ship. 

We saw Naruto yells at Sasuke many times absolutely for no reason, despite Sasuke bearing this cold attitude. Probably he is the only person who can call him by such variety of names. 

Sasuke always calls him by his trademark ‘Usuratonkachi’. Sometimes he calls him fool just like everyone. But was never insulting or mean towards Naruto. Except for that time in the final battle, he made fun of his Shadow Clone jutsu citing his loneliness. 

In short, be it a physical fight or verbal offense.... neither of them wilts like a flower. They equally give back. 

The only other person who can verbally assault Sasuke is Karin and probably the only girl who never addresses him as “Sasuke-Kun”. 

U-SU-RA-TON-KA-CHI..... Why do Sasuke spend such an effort to call someone with a 6 syllabic word, instead NA-RU-TO, a 3 syllabic word which is way more convenient to call?? I always wonder.

POSITIVE INFLUENCE

I don’t have to spell out anything here. There are many obvious examples but will try to keep it short. 

Naruto became strong because of Sasuke. He trained hard for 3 years with Jiraiya , a month with Kakashi developing Rasen Shuriken and controlled Kurama’s power with Killer Bee. Except for Sage Mode jutsu everything he learnt was all for bringing Sasuke back. 

In short, Sasuke is Naruto’s predominant strength. 

Though Naruto was not the source of strength for Sasuke, but he brings out many vibrant emotions in Sasuke which he really needed for his traumatic mind otherwise he would always be that cold angry brooding doll without any emotions and I am sure Sasuke enjoys to banter with Naruto.

LOL!!! I don’t know why Sasuke feels competitve here. It’s pretty childish even for Sasuke.

Friendly tease :-) I think he also protected Sakura in this scene. He can also ask her the same, isn’t it? I mean as a friend. 

The best one is yet to come

It’s incredibly hilarious to see how Sasuke pouts when he was with Naruto. Sakura!!!! You third wheeling joker :-D :-D

Throughout Shippuden, Sasuke never shows his emotions with anyone. He either looks very cold or angry.

Reminiscing his Team 7 days, for a split second. 

Probably the only positive emotion is this, in all of the Shippuden. I mean not counting Episode 478.

I don’t think Sakura brought any kind emotions in Sasuke except annoyance when they were together in Team 7. Or Hinata too. These girls just moan “Sasuke-Kun”, “Naruto-Kun” but brings nothing to the table. Total wastrels!!!!!

OWNING EACH OTHER’S RIGHTS

This section is exactly where SNS moves on to a whole different level.

Sasuke wanted to inflict his pain over everyone who lives in peaceful Konoha for what it did to Itachi. (though I don’t really accept with Sasuke here since he never even bothered to question about his clan’s history, but what he was doing is understandable. Just like Naruto tells him).

But the context here is Sasuke is on a murder rampage. Starting from the Kage Summit, killing Danzo, unnecessarily hurting Karin and almost reached a point where he could not be stopped anymore. Then Ms.Annoying appears. She literally have no fucking clue what Sasuke is going through. So started to spout nonsense that she wanted to go with Sasuke-Kun with an ulterior motive to kill him without a strong resolve. 

The interesting SS dynamics here is Sasuke asks Sakura “Do you know what I want?” and to which she gives a carefree-shitty-pathetic answer “I don’t care. I will do whatever you want”. Geez!!!

If I were Sasuke, I would think, “This person standing before me don’t even care about what I want but coming with an intent to kill me and not only that... she is a kunoichi from Konoha where I planned to inflict my pain by slaughtering them.. I better ram my Chidori and be done with it”... He doesn’t see her as his former Teammate. He just want to kill that person.

However, Kakashi deflects the attack and saves Ms.Useless. 

( Me : I am a Sasuke fan through and through. But, Sakura..... You always says you will do this, do that.... But you never succeed at anything... Why is that? Why are you even continue being a ninja? No one asked you to kill Sasuke, you decided to. But why don’t you kill him. Probably you would’ve earned my begrudging respect... Pffft” ****sighs with a heavy second hand embarassment)

Anyways, Sasuke becomes an unstoppable maniac at this point because he was very irritated on seeing Kakashi and Sakura spouting some unreachable nonsense. So he started to attack Kakashi as he is even more irritated on seeing his Sharingan.

Again, Ms.Idiot wants to kill Sasuke when he is at his weakest point due to chakra exhaustion and that too from behind his back. (You!!! Gutless wrench). Sasuke sensed this and attempted to kill her again... (Naruto!!! You idiot. Why did you save her...)

However, Naruto appears and saves her. Naruto and Sasuke’s eyes meet each other.

But somehow Sasuke calmed down and hears out Naruto for what he has to say. He says, “Whatever you are doing until now, it’s understandable”. 

Kakashi wanted to kill him and Sasuke got riled up and prepare his Chidori. Anyways, Naruto intervenes and they go to some meta physical plane and talks privately. And Naruto comes up with his idea and announces as below:

Me: Naruto!!!! Sweety..... Do you realize that you have a big dream of becoming a Hokage which you have been shouting from Day 1? But still you want to overthrow everything for that one person who is in unbearable pain. It’s alright. But you don’t want to go alone or send him alone. No Best friend would go this far. And to those Sakura shippers.... Why didn’t Sakura try to bear the burden? Why didn’t she come up with this Idea? Afterall, you spout nonsense like ‘Sakura saved Sasuke from Darkness, isn’t it?’ And, Naruto.... Who gave you the right to take his hatred and shoulder the burden? And what makes you think you are that only person to do it??? Sasuke, might have other special person in those 3 years. How can you decide on Sasuke’s behalf??? Aren’t you going overboard ?

The answer to all the above is simple, Naruto can risk anything for Sasuke. And he clearly knew that Sasuke’s only living bond is him.

And what happened next was almost unbelievable and for the first time I thought ‘What is it with these two guys?’. 

Sasuke agrees with Naruto’s proposition to not destroy Konoha before fighting with Naruto. 

Me: Sasuke!!!! You have every right to reject his proposition. Since, he was not in your life for the past 3 years, your side of bond with Naruto should have been cut-off long back, right? Sasuke??? Well, at this point he was just your former Team 7 member. You don’t need to honor your proposition. You can attack Konoha anytime. Why did you accept?

Also Me: Sweety!!! Why do you always question Naruto ‘Who am I to you’? Why do you need his opinion always? There is an annoying princess standing behind Naruto vying for your attention. And yet you didn’t even ask her this question at any time. But before Naruto, you completely calmed down from your rampage and willing to wait for what he has to say plus asking for his validation. After all you don’t care about anything, why just Naruto???

And the reason being, Naruto is still his closest bond which he couldn’t cut off despite trying very hard. After all, Many years ago, Sasuke was the one, who readily jumped in to protect Naruto knowing full well that it’s a trap. He was ready to throw away his revenge for this boy back then. Sasuke is afraid that he will give in to this bond once more and Naruto is his weakness which he wants to eliminate so badly.

This is definitely not any Best Friend would do..... Fix that in your mind.

The purpose of these GIFs is not show how protective Sasuke is..... Well, I can talk about it all day. Let’s save it.

Me: Yo!!!! Sasuke..... You wanted to kill Naruto.... You said so yourself under the bridge. Meaning, He is the only person standing between your goal and your resolve and Naruto is always known to weaken your resolve. And yet why are you protecting him here? There is absolutely no need. Because, if there is a situation like Kaguya where both of you are must needed to save this world , then there is a reason to save him. But why now? Plus do you know, if Naruto dies, then Madara’s plan may not succeed because if a Jinchuriki dies, tailed beast also dies. It is perfect for your Revolution, isn’t it? Who gave you the right to own his life? Obito has his reason to kill Naruto, why not let him?Why is it that you want to personally remove him from your life? If he is dead by an external factor, you can carry on your path without any interference and pain. Why go so far to protect him ?

The answer is Sasuke values Naruto’s life more than his own even during his Team 7 days. He has this high esteem for Naruto and almost consider it to be a shame if some worthless fool takes his life. And Sasuke never hated Naruto. He once hated Itachi and his resolve to kill was real and intense. But when Orochimaru asked him to kill 1000 people for practice, Sasuke never killed anyone. He even implemented no kill policy for his team “Hebi”. So, someone like Sasuke who never liked to kill random innocent people, how could he let some trash take away a life, he considers dearly to the same level of Itachi? That’s why in this situation, his body moved on his own to protect something special for him. He may not agree it, but he always shows it.

But some other ship wankers try to say Sasuke may have said “You are annoying” but inside he deeply loved her which is why he was smiling. If so, Why didn’t Sasuke never showed his care not even once? He not only tried to kill her twice when she was defenseless but also let her die twice or didn’t bother at all during the war. Or show me where these soul level connection happened between SS or NH

In short, Sasuke and Naruto own each other’s rights unconsciously. Because they are the only ones who can understand each other’s soul which nobody can reach.

Me: Oh, by the way Sasuke, I think Susanoo should be used like this. You really don’t need your hand to protect Naruto. Susanoo can do it’s work for you. Minato would be proud though!!!!

PRIVILEGE

Most of the points I written above are in and of itself is a privilege they give for each other and not for anyone else. Privilege is essential in a ship. Because it shows how different a loved one is from normal people. 

For Naruto, 

I originally want to put how he begs for forgiveness on Sasuke’s behalf before Raikage and weeps immeasurably before hyperventilating. But this one trumps the other. Naruto literally broadcasted everyone how important Sasuke is to him and how he regretted not offering his friendship at that time and how he couldn’t stop Sasuke from reaching Orochimaru. 

If you want to inspire Alliance shinobi forces, you should have shown how you worked so hard from the bottom to top. Projecting Sasuke as your regret and inspiring people shows how deeply you prioritize this person which affects you after so many years and hence, you don’t want any more regrets. 

It’s very unconventionally romantic which passes the shipping category in flying colours. 

For Sasuke,

The following is the Land of the waves arc which was novelized in the name of Innocent Heart, Demonic Blood released in 2006. 99.9% of the material is exactly as it happens in Manga/Anime. 

This is the privilege Sasuke provides for Naruto. “ But coming from Sasuke, It almost counted as a hug”... 

BROWNIE POINTS:

Now, the following are the scenes which add a mysterious flavour to this ship. I sincerely don’t understand why Kishimoto put this. I mean I am absolutely happy with it, but why? What was he thinking while drawing these scenes? 

It’s also strange that, whenever they clash a Chidori with Rasengan..... They always gets repelled to their own sides and fall with a loud thump. But Naruto’s posture looks very perfect, I mean it looks like someone carried him and laid him down. Anyways, What’s Sasuke doing on Naruto’s side?? He should have fell on the opposite side. Why didn’t he walk away? There is absolutely no reason for Sasuke to come over to Naruto’s side and have an intense meaningful gaze. 

This is another mysterious plus intense scene. I am still wondering, Is this really Sasuke? He is a person who avoids casual touches with anyone other than his brother. I’ve seen so many times Sasuke rejecting hugs from Sakura. I can’t even imagine what Kishimoto was thinking. 

If you people pass these scenes off as Brotherhood or Best Friend chemistry... Then you lack basic human emotions. That’s all. 

Me: Well, Sasuke, If you really want to kill him, you should have shovelled your sword right through Naruto’s vital point when you made that exuberant landing. There is literally no need for you to draw a long sword in close quarters. And what about the Personal Space??? With your speed, you can land without leaning on Naruto’s shoulders... 

Also Me: Yo, Naruto... You were panicking when Sai does the same....but you don’t even flinch when Sasuke invades your personal space????

Anyways, it’s funny that both the intense scenes I have mentioned here were initiated by Sasuke. Quite strange and thrilling.

So, to conclude.... All these scenes I have mentioned  made me unconsciously ship them as a pair. With all these being said, I believe all the ingredients for a good romance were laid perfectly. A moment of impulsive tension or affection, say a hug, between them after a difficult battle could mess with both and make a romance happen. And I don’t think either of them will deny especially Sasuke. 

I don’t see any of this aspect in other popular ships such as SS and NH. If I am Sakura or Hinata in this universe, I will not be okay with my pair doing all these things with other person. I intentionally left scenes from Episode 478 as it is so intense and require a separate post. I am happy that even without Episode 478, SNS ship sails high. So, I believe both Sakura and Hinata are still fourth wheeling their respective pairs in Boruto universe also, I guess. 

P.S: I don’t watch Boruto

Final memento:

No way a friend will look this mesmerized on seeing the other one. 

[lubdubsworld]

Desire.

CEO ! Jung Hoseok x  Married ! OC 

Summary : Tall Handsome CEO Hobi meets dainty delicate country girl, Elena and falls head over heels. Too bad she’s already taken. 

Genre : Infidelity, Morally ambiguous characters. 

Chapter 1

On Fridays, Jung Hoseok liked to unwind. 

After a whole entire week of heading Gwihan Inc., going over proposals, signing off on acquisitions and baby sitting his two younger siblings who were just entering the company business, Jung Hoseok liked to relax on Friday evenings, usually with a glass of wine, maybe some good food from the Chinese restaurant down the street and occasionally with some company of the feminine variety. 

As the CEO of one of the largest conglomerates in the country, Hoseok was pretty much a household name in Seoul. Not just because of his dashing good looks and his staggering business acumen, but also because of the incredibly humble, down to earth persona that he wore . 

Never in the history of Korea, had there been a more approachable and friendly multi billionaire Chaebol prince : the very personification of generosity and kindness. 

At the young age of 34, Jung Hoseok charmed reporters and celebrities and his fellow businessmen with alacrity . 

Affectionately nicknamed the Sunshine CEO, Hoseok’s dimpled smile was a staple and he was well known for being fair and even tempered, the first to extend his hand in friendship to anyone. 

Which was a wonderful reputation to carry of course but it also made people forget that for all his sunny disposition, Jung Hoseok was still very much human. 

And he did not build his company ( once on the verge of bankruptcy because of his unscrupulous father ) from scratch, by being a pushover. Which meant that Hoseok had to balance being a good guy and a firm guy and sometimes it was such a fucking pain in his ass. 

“Hyung, come on....it’s just for a few hours. It’s fun.... “ Kim Taehyung could whine like no other. Korea’s top model, Taehyung or V as he liked to be called had a deep voice which could also do a full 180, making Hoseok’s ears ring, when the younger wasn’t getting his way. 

Like right now.

“Tae, i’m so fucking tired, i need a drink and a shower and I’m crashing into my bed. I am  not  bar hopping with you morons. I’m too old for that shit. “ Hoseok groaned, watching Taehyung and his photographer husband slur and sway after one drink too many. It was already a little past eleven in the night and he had every intention of sleeping for the next thirteen hours at the least. 

“Awww hyung...its not a bar...it’s a strip club ... Come on , hyung live a little. “ Jeon Jungkook was adorable,  like a bunny,  but also a brat that never took no for an answer. Together , the couple were pretty much indestructible. 

Too tired to argue with the two of them, he groaned .

It was going to be a long, long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The club was called Desire, nothing like the posh high end places Hoseok was used to. It wasn’t a dump or anything but the decor, the furnishings and the clientele all screamed middle class, which wasn’t Hoseok’s usual scene. 

At all. 

But apparently, Jungkook had stumbled on someone here during one of his photography stints. 

A dancer called the ‘ White Dove’. 

The White Dove was apparently, one of the most sought after dancers in the club, because she only performed twice a month. She didn’t do it for the money, no one knew why she did it. But according to Jungkook, she was the most sensuously arousing woman he had ever seen in his entire life. 

 she moves like water, Hyung, fluid and transient. ...like the laws of physics don’t apply to her body, it’s like magic. 

Which was high praise, coming from a gay man. 

A gay man who had actually majored in dance in college. 

And even Taehyung hadn’t even looked all that bothered, watching his husband sing praises about someone else’s body .

“Would love to have both of them in my bed at the same time hyung, how do i make that happen?” He’d asked, glassy eyed. 

Hoseok had gagged, elbowed him in the ribs and moved away. 

But his dongsaengs could be pretty darn insistent and so here he was, on a friday night, half asleep from exhaustion, stumbling behind Jungkook and Taehyung as they led him to a private room, at the back of the club. 

The room was wide, shaped like a semi circle, with an elevated stage up front. Just a couple of feet away from the stage, three sofas lines the curved edges of the wall. 

Taehyung and Jungkook lay wrapped around each other in the first one, closest to the door and Hoseok did not want to see them touching each other so he skipped the middle sofa, choosing to recline on the sofa in the farthest corner.

 A very dim light hung right over his head , offering very little by way of illumination but he supposed that was the point. The dancer would be distracted by a well lit audience. 

And while he had been quite opposed to the idea when the evening began, Hoseok couldn’t help but admit , that seated on the cheap maroon sofa, with tacky vinyl upholstery, in a dimly lit room, he couldn’t help but be intrigued.

Who  was  this woman?

“Hyung, you’ll love her!! She’s totally your type!” Jungkook called out excitedly . 

Hoseok threw an amused look at the pair, shaking his head before turning around to stare at the stage again. The lights in the low lying ceiling dimmed, the one on the stage turning on gradually and to his surprise, he felt his breath catch when the stage curtain moved, gentle ripples on the satin surface. 

Music began pouring in, smooth and sensual and intrigued and then a voice followed , feminine and soft.

“Good evening. I’m Elena .... or as they call me, the White Dove. Thank you for letting me entertain you tonight.” 

She sounded absolutely delectable and Hoseok felt his eyes widen, lips parting in shock at the voice.

Soft and sweet, dainty and almost elegant. 

Low and submissive, like she wanted nothing more than to make him happy. 

Like honey in his ears. 

It sounded so out of place , in this cheap dingy strip club. 

She sounded like a fucking princess. 

And then the curtains parted, revealing a petite, svelte figure.

 Hoseok sat up straighter, eyes wide as he stared at her. 

She wore a mask, covering the upper part of her face and leaving only her lush, plump lips on display. They were an alluring red, bright and radiant in the golden light. She was dressed in a small robe, full sleeved and falling to her knees , showing off her slim, curvy legs and her skin was honey tinted, smooth to his gaze. 

Hoseok swallowed and as he watched, she threw a smile, soft and gentle and absolutely serene. 

It was the smile that did it for him.

Innocent and altogether lovely, like the kind of smile you would give someone you had loved for a hundred thousand years and he felt himself aching for it, wanting more of that gentle voice, more of that dazzling smile. 

As he watched she stepped fully into the center, the light bathing her in gold as she lightly gripped the pole and stepped forwards fully, lips parted in a smile as she bowed. 

Hoseok had sat through enough strip shows to know that this was different. Elena took small, hesitant steps into the light, tugging on the belt around her waist, the short velvet robe sliding off her shoulder gently. 

Hoseok’s throat went dry when he saw what she was dressed in : A ruby red lingerie set, with satin bows along her neckline, applique orchids all across her torso , the hem of her dress stopping just an inch below her waist, revealing satin bikinis that hugged her ass so tight his finger itched . 

He wanted to touch so bad. 

She grabbed the fabric of the robe  and instead of tossing it away, she folded it, moving to place it on a chair in the corner of the stage, gently before tossing another smile, this time apologetic. 

“I’m sorry, i need to wear this again and I don’t want it to get dirty...” She giggled then , her voice like the tinkling of a bell and Hoseok was so gone , he couldn’t think straight anymore. 

He gripped the edge of the sofa, the last vestiges of sleep leaving his head. 

And then the music began, low and soothing and seductive and she began to move. 

Elena was a phenomenal dancer, that much was obvious in just the first minute. She moved easily, and perfectly, her long legs wrapping around the pole with ease, her hands gripping it with ease but it was her gaze that drew him in....

She clearly thought Tae and Jungkook were the only ones in the audience so she kept her gaze on them, hadn’t seen him at all and she looked at them with eyes that begged for approval. She smiled often, threw her hair back and jerked her shoulders in question, asking unsubtly if they liked it, and Jungkook and Taehyung responded with enthusiasm, cheerful shouts of “ so gorgeous, beautiful sweetheart....” filling the room.

Hoseok leaned back against the couch, his breath leaving him in a harsh exhale. 

This wasn’t the kind of woman he had been expecting.

 He had been prepared, for brash and bold and seductive and sensuous. A woman who knew how to use her body to get what she wanted.... The only kind of woman he had ever met in his entire life. 

But Elena.... 

She looked so desperate to please, so desperate to be good and it was evident in her eyes, the thirst for praise , for approval. She wanted to be good and she wanted someone to tell her that.... to tell her hat she was beautiful, that she was perfect , that she was absolutely scintillating and Hoseok wanted nothing more than to be that someone. 

To be the person who rained kissed all over her body, gentle touches all over her as he breathed praise into her ears, told her how perfect she was, how enchanting and how unreal she was. 

How she was the kind of woman he would never ever tire of......

The kind of woman who deserved to be worshipped on the satin sheets of his king sized bed. .

And he would. This wasn’t going to end like this, he thought , his heart pounding. It couldn’t. 

He felt his heart pound as the performance ended, as she stepped back into the limelight and bowed, all sweet smiles and gentle gratitude. 

Taehyung and Jungkook jumped to their feet applauding cheerfully and she laughed. 

“Thank you for coming today. I hope you enjoyed my little dance. I would love to see you again. “ She smiled, cheerful and bright. 

She finally turned to his side of the room, eyes widening when he finally pushed away from the shadows, moving into the pool of light in the middle of the room.

“You were absolutely gorgeous sweetheart.” He said gently.

Her eyes went wide, lips parting in surprise and e watched her eyes travel up and down his torso, catching on the lean width of his waist, tongue peeking out to lick her lips as her eyes stayed glued to the front of his crotch, where his rock hard dick was probably very poorly concealed. 

“You’re the one to blame for that, princess.” He said with smirk and her eyes jumped to his, a blush blooming on her cheeks so fast that it made his head swim. 

Fuck. 

Fuck she was gorgeous. 

He glanced at his friends, both of who were looking between him and the dancer with knowing looks. 

“Dinners on me tomorrow if you two leave right now.” Hoseok said softly. 

Laughing, the pair waved good bye, closing the door behind them. 

Elena stood on the stage, still staring at him like he was a full course meal and he moved back to the middle sofa, lowering himself down before spreading his legs and patting his thighs. 

“How much for a private....conversation?” He asked quietly.

She hesitated.

“I.. i need to ask the manager.” She said hesitantly. 

Hoseok felt a grin creeping up his face.

He pulled his phone out and dialed quickly. Less than a minute later, the manager stumbled in, bowing almost ninety degrees. 

“Mr. Jung.. you called?” The man was breathless.

“Elena and I are going to be occupied for the next hour or so.... I don’t want us to be disturbed.” 

The manager looked very surprised, glancing at her with wide eyes. 

“You want to... ?” He asked quickly and Elena blushed. Hoseok was oddly impressed that he had asked for her consent. Well at least this place wasn't as sleazy as it looked.  

“Just a conversation.” She whispered. Hoseok felt his eyebrow raise in surprise. 

Wait, did she really think he wanted a conversation? Had he been too subtle? Was the hard dick and the invitation to sit on his lap not forward enough? 

The man gave her a  confused look but nodded. 

“Of course Mr. Jung. Anything you like.” he bowed again and left , locking the door behind him. Hoseok glanced at her, watching as she slowly climbed down the stairs 

Elena hesitated, before slowly moving to get her robe. 

“Leave that.” He said , a little more sharply than he intended and she startled a little at his tone. 

“Okay.” She whispered, scratching the back of her neck nervously and smiling a little.

“I’m sorry...I don’t usually do this... I... I’m married.” She said with a laugh. 

Hoseok froze .

It felt a little like someone had dumped a whole entire barrel of ice cold water all over his head. 

Of course she was fucking taken. 

Of fucking course.....

He was such a fucking fool....

“Oh..” He croaked, voice breaking and even that single syllable dripped with so much disappointment  that she noticed. 

Her eyes flashed with something and she carefully climbed off the stage, walking up to him. He held his breath as she came closer, standing right between his spread legs. He wanted to touch but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. 

Her hand rose up and he felt his breath catch when she lightly touched his hair, patting the strands carefully. 

“you have really thick hair.” She giggled. 

“Does you husband know you’re here?” He said softly. 

Her gaze flitted to him. 

“No. “ She said softly. And then she pressed in closer, enough that her knee brushed his thighs and he gripped her waist with both hands, instinctively.

“No?” 

She bit her lips, eyes shifting away from him.

“He doesn’t... understand.” She sighed. 

Intrigued, Hoseok tugged her closer and she tumbled into his lap. He pulled her in till she was seated on his thighs, legs thrown over the couch as she nestled into his chest. 

He gripped her harder and God, she felt like a delicate bird in his hand. His arms stayed firm but inordinately gentle around her, and he swallowed scared to move because he was afraid he would break her . Scared to let go because he was afraid she would fly way. 

“What doesn’t he understand sweetheart?” He prompted. 

She turned to look right at him and he wanted to take that mask off so badly. To see her face in all its glory. 

“That I need this...” She whispered.

“To dance...?” He prompted and she sniffled a little.

“No.” She whispered. And then her eyes met his again, bright and somehow desperate. 

“What then baby? Why are you here?” He asked although he could already suspect it.

“To be desired. “ She smiled that same sweet smile of hers.

And really, not even a saint could resist that breathtaking smile.

And Jung Hoseok was so , so far from a saint. 

She was the one who owed loyalty to the unknown husband. Not him. So he was going to just take what he was being offered. 

He grabbed her chin, tilting her face to kiss her hard, his tongue forcing its way in before she could get her bearings. She didn’t protest, her body going limp in his arms a he looped her arms around his neck. 

He flipped them over , till she was flat on her back on the couch and he was on her, grabbing her thighs and spreading her legs, grinding his clothed erection down into the heated center of her body as he kissed her. 

She whimpered, hands scrambling to clutch at his shoulders. as she kissed him back. And he wondered if she lied, telling him that she was married. There was a world of inexperience in her kiss , absolutely no finesse in the way she spread her legs wider, hips jerking up to chase friction. 

But what she lacked in experience, she more than made up for in enthusiasm.

“Relax baby... We don’t have to rush...” He kissed her again, drawing back to stare at her and she looked a little out of it. 

“Please.. I just... i need...” 

Something about the look on her face made him pause. It was a familiar look. He’d seen this look before. 

Not in the last decade no, but ....that desperate, confused inexperience took him all the way back to his senior year in  high school when the Queen Bee , Kang Sejin had finally agreed to let him fuck her. 

For the first time. 

Hoseok stilled completely, refusing to believe it. 

How old was this girl underneath him? She couldn’t be younger than twenty five. 

“How old are you?” He demanded.

She stopped trying to yank him closer and went still, staring at him and licking her lips. 

“I’m twenty seven.” She said finally and he frowned.

“You’ve done this before right?” He asked stupidly. 

Of course she had...she said she was married for fuck’s sake. 

But her eyes widened and she looked away and oh. 

Oh. 

What the actual fuck....

Hoseok scrambled off her, his head swimming with disbelief. She choked out a sob and sat up, hugging herself and he felt his heart break when he saw the tears swell, spilling over her lashes and God, that pout on her face. 

“Elena.... “ He held his hand out, wanting to touch her again but she scrambled to her feet and backed away. 

“I’m so sorry... i don’t know what I was thinking...” She bowed, her tears flowing freely now. “ Please...forget this ever happened...” 

Hoseok stared at her as she ran up to stage, grabbing her robe and disappearing behind the curtain quickly. 

He stood there, still painfully aroused as he tried to process what he’d just learned. 

A virgin, he thought in sheer disbelief. 

The stripper I nearly fucked right now is a fucking virgin. 

His legs stopped working as he collapsed on the sofa. 

So much for unwinding on a Friday. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Listen, I know this is dumb but you really need to stop bringing this up so often.” My husband gave me an annoyed glare, his handsome face scrunched in impatience as he stuffed a couple of files into his leather briefcase. 

“Why ? We’re married... we’ve been married for four months now!! Why won’t you touch me?! “ i demanded, exhausted and tired and so guilty. 

Guilty because I’d come so close to cheating on him. 

“Because i don’t get a hard on when i look at you. Because I never wanted to fucking marry you in the first place.!!” He snarled and i bit my lips feeling my heart hurt at the familiar words, the pang still just as painful as the first time he’d said those words to me. 

“But you did...” I reminded him, following him to the door. He growled, throwing the shoe closet open and grabbing his work shoes. 

“Elena... I’m not in the mood for this.” He said sternly.” I’m running late and Hoseok ssi’s supposed to be inspecting our department today. Do you have any idea what an important man he is? I need this meeting to be perfect if I want to get that promotion.... I can’t let anything distract me.” 

“I’m your wife...not a distraction!!” I protested. 

He ignored me, tying his laces and giving me one last look of loathing. 

“if this doesn’t work for you, call your fucking parents and go back to that no good village of yours. We’ll get a fucking divorce and I’ll stop paying for your parents Hospital bills and then we’ll see how you survive.” 

I stared at him, hurt and upset. 

“Yesung...”

“I need to go. “ He stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. 

I let out a shaky breath, my hands trembling as I tried to get my bearings. It was so hard, doing this. Waking up day after day to cater to his every need and i wondered if it had even been worth it, agreeing to marry him just for the chance to pay for my parents. 

Surely, there could have been another way? 

Why had I agreed? 

My mind flashed to the gorgeous man in the club the previous night. 

 How much for a private conversation.....

 For a second i had been tempted. 

I had actually considered asking him to pay me in return for sex. Maybe if he wanted to do it more than once.... Maybe he could keep me with him. 

And then I could use the money to pay for my parents’ care and i could divorce Yesung. 

Surely that was better than being shunned in your own home? Being made to feel ugly and unappealing. 

I had been so close to doing it last night. So so close and then that man---he had somehow sensed it. Sensed that I hadn’t ever had sex before. 

How embarrassing that had been. He had guessed that I was a virgin and I couldn’t help but wonder how. 

What had i done wrong? i had hugged him, kissed him back and yet he had realized that i had no idea what i was doing or what i wanted. 

How humiliating that had been. 

I bit my lips.

I missed dancing. 

Twice a month in some sleazy club hardly made up for fifteen years of training to be a dancer.  

I missed the ballet school that I had to quit when my dad lost his job.

 I missed Busan. 

I missed my old life so bad. 

Sighing I went back to the kitchen to fix my breakfast when my eyes fell on the packed lunch and i groaned. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesung’s company was easily the most luxurious building I’d ever been. Thankfully, I’d dressed well enough, a yellow summer dress with floral prints. I’d left my hair down, even put on makeup. I looked pretty and i wanted nothing more than for my husband to look at me with a little appreciation. 

Yesung was a tall, very handsome man and i had really genuinely liked him when his parents had offered to set us up for  a  seon.

 He had seemed genuinely interested and it was the only reason I’d agreed to marry him. But apparently, his parents had forced him into the whole thing and he felt nothing but deep resentment for me. 

It was so unfair but i wasn’t ready to give up yet. 

I had every intention of winning my husband over. 

The lady at the reception gave me a visitor’s Id and told me where I could find my husband and I quickly walked over to elevators, nervous because I was the only one in flashy summer colors, all the employees dressed in muted tones of brown and grey. Flushing, I kept my head low as the elevator climbed all the way to the seventeenth floor. When I stepped out of the elevator, I caught sight of Yesung at once. He was talking to a tall man, who had his back towards me . 

“Yesung!! “ i called out brightly. “ You forgot your lunch!!” I held the bag up and my husband’s eyes snapped to me widening in surprise. 

I smiled and kept walking until the man talking to my husband turned around. 

My smile froze on my face, my brain processing the very familiar features. 

I stopped walking , my legs stalling . 

No. 

Oh, God no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yesung!  You forgot your lunch!!” 

Hoseok felt his entire heart turn over in his ribcage at the sound of  that  voice. 

No.. No way...it couldn’t  be.

 He turned around, stunned and his eyes caught a flash of lovely yellow, bright and incandescent in the dreary dullness of the office and oh god, it was her. 

It was Elena. 

She looked like sunshine.... Like one of those yellow tulips you saw in wall papers. Fresh and beautiful and even more breathtaking in the bright light of day and Hoseok felt like his brain had been fried. 

She had seen him too and the look on her face said it all. 

Guilt and horror flashed in rapid succession and those lips....those cherry red lips he’d tasted three days ago....they parted in shock. 

Hoseok felt his mouth go dry as she went completely still. 

“I’m so sorry sir... I don’t know why she came here!!” Kang Yesung’s voice drew him to the present and he frowned, watching as the man stalked over to her. His fists clenched as he saw the man grip her arm, hard. 

Elena winced, looking hurt and something in Hoseok just snapped.

Completely forgetting where he was , who he was.... he stalked over , hands coming up to shove Yesung hard. The man, completely taken by surprise, stumbled and fell , crashing into the filling cabinets with a loud noise. 

Everyone in the office went still, staring at him in sheer disbelief 

And he knew exactly what they were thinking?

Did the Sunshine  CEO just physically assault an employee? Was the world ending? 

Hoseok stared at Elena.

“Are you alright? “ He whispered. 

She was gawking at him, but also rubbing the skin where Yesung had grabbed her and before he could stop himself, he was reaching for her arm, brushing her own fingers away and stroking the skin with his. 

“That looks like its going to bruise.” He whispered. 

He whirled to glare at Yesung, who had pulled himself together and was now staring between Hoseok and Elena, shock written all over his features.

“Is this your code of conduct when it comes to women, Mr. Kang?” His voice came out loud and angry , almost a furious snarl. 

Yesung turned an ugly shade of red. 

“She’s my wife sir. She ...she knows she can’t visit me ...” Yesung was gaping at him. 

“So you’re going to assault her?” He demanded. 

Yesung closed his mouth quickly. 

“Are you alright, El-” He stopped himself , “ Mrs Kang.” 

She was looking at the floor.

“Yes , sir.” Her voice shook and he could see her hands trembling. The urge to draw her into his arms was so overwhelming he had to clench his fists to stop himself. 

“Jungkook! “ He called for his assistant. “ Please drop Mrs. Kang back home. Make sure she doesn’t need anything else.” 

Jungkook bowed and smiled wide at her.

“Please, this way, Mrs. Kang.” 

Hoseok stared at her and she glanced at him, one small fleeting glance heavy with guilt and confusion and worry. 

He closed his eyes, trying to get his palpitating heart under control.

Oh, God he was in so much trouble. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also please give this fic a lot of love!!!!! My baby never gets the love he deserves!!! 

author’s Note : 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

i LOVE jUNG hOSEOK. 

THAT’S IT THAT’S THE TEA. 

Feedback is how you repay me so don’t be shy <3 

[cyoc49]

HIMBO Magazine: Changing Departments

*click! click! click! click!*

Derek listened to the camera flash as he sat on the side of the bed. He was currently doing a photo shoot for HIMBO magazine, a fashion and lifestyle magazine “for the modern gay male™”. Fake blood dripped against his chest - they were doing some Halloween type of shoot. But let’s be honest, the blood wasn’t the focus of the shot: it was his body. Derek had never been the best student - and his attitude certainly didn’t help - but if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was make his body look as sexy as humanly possible. Derek scoured nutrition blogs to make sure he stayed up to date on everything related to fitness, and the dedication showed itself in his beautiful, sculpted body. Sitting here with no shirt on and wearing a pair of lethally tight skinny jeans, he looked like every gay man’s wet dream. To put it simply, Derek was hot as hell; problem is, he knew he was hot at hell.

“Alright, that’s good. I think we have what we need, thank you Mr. Hale” the director said. Derek stood up and two twinkish looking assistants came over to remove the blood. Derek stood still and tried to ignore the two obviously gay men putting their hands all over his body. Derek was the kind of guy who thought all gay men were jumping at the bit for any man they can find. Doing a photo shoot for a gay magazine was certainly not his dream, but hey: a paycheck is a paycheck.

After he was cleaned off, Derek put on a t shirt and enjoyed the feeing of it stretched tight against his pecs. He slung a Louis Vuitton backpack over his shoulders. All he had to do was collect his check and he could be done with this homo magazine. Derek headed towards the doorway connecting the studio space to the rest of the offices. He turned the corner into the hallway, only to immediately crash into someone coming from the opposite direction. Papers went flying.

Derek hesitated, then reluctantly crouched down to help the man pick up his papers. As he did, the man spoke to him in a deep voice “You know, you should really watch where you’re going. People are busy around here.”

This was the remark that set Derek off. It was enough that he had done a photo shoot outside his comfort zone, and ran into someone while he was leaving, but now he was being sassed by some worker who couldn’t slow down enough to watch out for passers. Derek had had enough of this magazine. “You know,” he said, “I’m surprised. I thought you fags would be more excited to slam into other guys.”

Derek could sense the shift in mood immediately. All the workers around him who had been buzzing about immediately stopped and looked at th scene. The office had gone dead silent. As Derek looked around at all the men staring at them, the man he had bumped into finished collecting his papers and stood up, allowing Derek to finally look at him properly. Woah, this was a fine looking man. Strappingly tall and ruggedly handsome. He filled out his expensive-looking three-piece suit perfectly. His whole demeanor was one of absolute confidence. Finally, Derek realized what had happened. He hadn’t bumped into some random employee. He had knocked over and subsequently cussed out the boss of the whole place.

*Well*, Derek said to himself, *I fucked up bad this time*.

The boss was surprisingly well-composed for someone who had just been called a slur, Derek thought. As if to prove this point, the boss suddenly started laughing. It was a good, deep laugh. And when he laughed, everyone else in the building laughed along with him. Derek stared at everyone in the office in confusion. Why did they find this so funny? Was it because he’s their boss? And they were all looking at the boss with such admiration. Derek just hoped this meant the issue would blow over and he could leave before embarrassing himself sooner.

But before he could step away, he was spoken to. “I used to get really angry when people said stuff like that to me,” the boss explained in a rich, inviting voice, “now it just makes me sad, because I see all the failed potential hiding behind that language.”

Derek took a little offense to that last statement, but he knew he was in no position to argue right now. It seemed like the laughter was the all-clear the rest of the office needed to know their boss was okay, because the normal hum of voices and keyboards had returned. Now it was just him and the extremely powerful man he had pissed off. Derek broke the silence. “Look, Mr...”

“Christian Le Maítre” the gorgeous boss informed him, “Editor in Chief of HIMBO magazine. But everyone around here just calls me Mr. M.”

“Right. Well, uh, Mr. M, I’m really sorry about-“

“No you’re not.” Christian cut him off without missing a beat. “I’ve seen so many models like you come and go through these halls. You think you’re hot shit, and take pity on all of my boys in this office who had to take desk jobs because their bodies weren’t nice enough to let them get by on looks alone. But you know, we’re hard workers here. And we’re a close knit family.”

Derek objected to being interrupted, but as Christian talked, he felt his defenses melt away with every word. Mr. M was right, Derek realized. I am a narcissistic asshole who holds myself above others. He had never felt like this before. But everything Mr. M said just seemed right. When this gorgeous, confident man spoke, Derek realized he was speaking the truth.

“What’s your name, son?” Mr. M asked him.

“D-Derek, sir. Derek Hale.” Derek was never one stutter, but how else could he feel right now?

“Well Derek, I’m sure our lame little office doesn’t fit your macho man swagger persona, but I think you’d find that working here is pretty great.”

Was that an offer? Derek didn’t know. He had completely forgotten the context of their conversation, and indeed his reason for being in this office in the first place was slowly becoming a distant memory. All Derek knew in this moment was that he HAD to work at HIMBO. In fact, he couldn’t imagine life without working here.

Derek tried to compose a response, but was increasingly timid in the presence of this incredible man. “Well, uh, Mr. M. Perhaps if you have any opening I might be able to, uh-”

Mr. M just laughed again, and this time Derek laughed right along with him.

“Well I’m shocked to hear you change your tune so quickly, but I can’t say I’m surprised. Working here is kind of a dream job, if I do say so myself. But there’s no need to submit your CV and go through the traditional channels. I am actually prepared to offer you a job on the spot.”

Derek felt his ears burning. How lucky was he! To be offered a job at the best company on earth. He would take it immediately!

“Mr. M, it would be an honor to work for you” Derek bowed his head as he said this. Respect was important, especially for the man who was giving him a job no questions asked.

“Glad to hear it, sport! Now full disclosure, it’s a clerking position. I know, not the most exciting stuff, but here at HIMBO we believe even the most mundane work can be made magical! Of course, you would have to change a few of your behaviors to *best* fit the position. Your ego, your hot-headedness. Do you think those are things good for a clerk to have?”

“No, sir” Derek said with convocation. “Anything you want me to change, I will change.”

Christian cracked a smile, as if Derek had said something unintentionally funny. “Well I admire your commitment. It’s just, clerks are so straight-laced and serious, and you are such a character, Derek. Mr. Macho Man with a great body. Actually, I do like this body.” Christian looked Derek up and down, “I think that can stay. But as for everything else, well, I can take care of that.”

Christian stopped talking and instead just looked at Derek. The hopeful employee stood there silently, unsure of what to do. Just then, he suddenly felt a draining feeling. It wasn’t his muscles or his IQ or any of that stuff that he felt fading away, it was more like he was losing... his personality? All the pride Derek felt over his hot body and great life was disappearing. All the anger he get towards people not like him, slipping away. But it wasn’t replaced by new emotions, it wasn’t replaced by anything. Derek stopped feeling strong feelings about much of anything. He liked his job, he followed the news, but he had never had any opinions of his own. Never tried to be individual or stand out. Derek was becoming like his new favorite flavor of ice cream: vanilla.

As Derek’s personality slowly morphed him into a contender for the World’s Most Dull Man, his wardrobe changed to follow suit. His designer t shirt loosened out a bit. The sleeves grew down his arms before spouting buttons and cuffs. Buttons also sprouted down the middle, and the shirt gained a collar, becoming a basic button-up shirt. A white plaid pattern spread across the shir. At the same time, Derek felt his skinny jeans go “pah” as all the tightness shrugged out of them, changing them into (gag) regular fit pants. They lightened to gray and changed material to thin cotton, becoming work slacks. His new plaid shirt automatically tucked itself into the pants, and a brown leather belt formed around his waist, with his expensive designer sneakers morphing into brown leather dress shoes to match. The LV backpack he wore fell as one of the straps broke off, before disappearing altogether. The remaining strap lengthened and slung itself over his shoulder, and the bag itself shifted into a basic messenger bag, holding plenty of important documents and paperwork.

For a brief moment, Derek felt confusion and fear. Why were these changes happening to him? Where did his nice stuff go, and what were these boring-ass clothes replacing them? These thoughts only lasted for half a second, before Derek realized how right this was. This was his style, or more accurately his *lack* of style. Derek had never cared about trends, or getting fancy new clothes. As long as they fit him well and looked professional enough for work, that was all that mattered in Derek’s eyes. A Ross Membership Card popped into his wallet to cement this change.

Derek felt something in his pocket, and pulled out a pair of black-rimmed glasses. These were the glasses he needed to see, of course. Derek opened them up and put them on. To follow suit, his hair parted itself to the side and became thick with gel holding his new professional haircut in place.

As promised, Christian had left Derek his body, but had taken basically everything else from him. Where there had once stood an arrogant, trendy mode, there was now a walking turtleneck. Normally in cases like this, Derek would sprout new memories of his new life. But no memories came, because Derek didn’t really *have* a life. He was now a total office drone. From 9-5 he worked faithfully for HIMBO, and after that he went home and solved jigsaw puzzles until it was time for bed... except on the nights where Mr. M invited Derek to his house. Derek truly wanted nothing more from life.

Christian smiled at the new corporate boy that stood before him. “Okay I think you’ve handled the onboarding process well, Dirk. Dirk, isn’t it?”

“Yes sir.” Dirk replied matter of factly. Dirk Kent. Filing clerk for HIMBO magazine.

“Great! But there’s actually one more thing I need from you. I’m still a little raw about that comment of yours earlier, and I would hate for it to taint our working relationship with each other, so allow me to bury this hatchet.”

Christian snapped his fingers, and Dirk felt his impressive manhood shrink, and shrink, and shrink, until he heard a “pop!” sound and knew that it was no more. Poor Dirk was smooth as could be in his private areas. But he didn’t mind: being unable to orgasm helped him focus on his work. And besides, if Mr. M needed help Dirk still had two perfectly serviceable holes on him.

Christian laughed again, eliciting another laugh from Dirk. “Dirk, pal, I don’t think I have ever been happier with one of my new hires. But you know, I do seal my deals with a kiss.”

“Why thank you sir!” Dirk replied with enthusiasm, as he allowed Christian to walk over, turn up his chin, and plant a kiss on his lips. And it was the greatest kiss Dirk had ever felt. Indeed, it was the only kiss he had ever felt, but as far as kisses go it was still pretty spectacular. As Dirk stood there with his lips pressed against those of his incredivle boss, he knew there was nothing more he would want from life.

As they parted, Derek looked hopefully up at his boss “Where should I start with my work, sir?” He lived to work.

Christian smiled again. “I’ll film you in on that in a minute, but let me take you to your desk. You’ll be down in the accounting department. In fact, I think you’ll be desk neighbors with our other new hire Bartholomew! You’ll love him. A total nerd but a sweet kid regardless.” Without warning, Christian turned and walked down the hall. He didn’t need to say anything. Dirk instinctively followed him, just as he instinctively obeyed every command Mr. M gave him. Life was easier that way.

[alex-ruins-everything]

The Witch Lives Across the Street

Inspired by this post of mine that lived in my head rent free so I wrote it.

Pairings: Prinxiety

Words: 1421

Virgil was used to knocking on his door all the time. He hated it, but he supposed it was what happened when you lived next to a witch but fit the gothic aesthetic much better than the actual witch. The house across the street was white with red shutters and a red door. There was no sign or anything saying that a witch lived in the house, nothing odd at all about the house. There was even a garden. Virgil’s house on the other hand was very different. Black with purple shutters and no garden in sight. Even the bushes the house had come with were wilted and brown along the walkway to the front door and the iron gate was rusting. The constantly drawn curtains added to the mystery that apparently made everyone think he was the witch of the area.

So he’d get knocks on the door, begrudgingly answer it and tell the person, “No, the witch lives across the street.” He had seen the witch in question a few times, always wearing some combination of white, red, and gold. Virgil had never bothered to meet his neighbor up close, though. A few weeks ago another car had shown up in the driveway next to the red one that usually resided there. Green, it made Virgil think of Christmas when it was put next to all of the red. He started noticing someone else lurking around the witch’s house, this new neighbor spent a lot of time outside in the garden and suddenly when people knocked on his door they asked about witches instead of one witch.

Virgil was currently in his kitchen feeding his cat when the knock hit the door. Another one of the witches’ clients he guessed, considering no one really came to visit him, it wasn’t too far fetched of a guess. He moved to the door, grumbling a little as he opened it.

“The witches live across the street,” he said, blinking at the person on the other side as gay panic hit his mind for a moment.

This man was easily the most beautiful person Virgil had ever seen. Tall and broad shouldered with swoopy brown hair and the most gorgeous brown eyes. He was wearing a white shirt with the top three buttons undone and a red sash tied around his waist. Layers of gold jewelry matched the gold eyeliner that sat atop deep red eyeshadow.

“Actually, the witch is indeed here this time,” the man said, flashing a dazzling smile.

“Uhm-” Virgil said, trying to get his brain started again.

“I figured it was about time I came and introduced myself. Three years of you deferring my customers, I should have done it sooner. I’m Roman,” the man - Roman - said, holding his hand out. “Virgil, right?”

“How did you-?” Virgil asked, shaking the witch’s hand.

“Not magic this time,” Roman said with a small laugh that sounded like bells. “I get your mail by accident sometimes, I always just stick it in your mailbox. Seems nobody can get our houses right.”

“Right...thank you.”

“Actually, my brother and I were just about to have some tea. I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“Your brother?”

“He’s been staying with me, seems two witches are much more popular than one,” Roman answered, smiling at Virgil again. “So. Tea?”

“Uhm...yeah. I can do tea,” Virgil nodded.

Roman gave another one of his dazzling smiles, taking Virgil by the hand and leading him across the street. The other man - the one Virgil had noticed more recently - was outside digging in the garden. He was covered in dirt, wearing a tanktop that showed off various symbols tattooed onto his arms.

“This is Virgil!” Roman introduced. “He’s joining us for tea. Virgil, this is Remus. My twin brother.”

“Virgil?” Remus asked, looking Virgil up and down.

Virgil squirmed a little, feeling like he was under a microscope, but upon his own inspection, he could see the similarities between the brothers. If you looked past the mustache, the streak of white hair, and the dark gaudy eyeshadow, Remus and Roman were identical.

“Virgil, are you a witch?” Remus asked, tilting his head a little bit.

“No, the witch lives across the street,” Virgil replied, same as he always did.

“Get cleaned up, Remus. I won’t guarantee that we’ll save you any cakes,” Roman said, pulling Virgil inside.

The inside of the house matched Roman, all red and gold with hints of white. It smelled like cinnamon and cloves and-

“You have a lot of plants…” Virgil observed.

“Oh, yes. Remus tends to like them. I wouldn’t touch, though. I never really know what he’s growing,” Roman chuckled, pulling out a teapot and a few different jars of herbs.

Virgil watched as he added the herbs to the pot, seeming to know what he was doing. He poured in cold water and with a wave of his hand, the pot was steaming like it had been boiling all along.

“Magic,” Roman winked. “Come, you can sit in the living room. I’ll bring the cakes, you simply have to try them, they’re delicious.”

Virgil couldn’t do much more than nod. Roman directed him to the living room where two couches sat on either side of a coffee table, obviously where Roman took his clients. Remus came in, mostly dirt free and holding a plant clipping in a small jar that he set by the window.

“Are you sure you aren’t a witch?” he asked Virgil, plopping down on the couch across from him. “You have a very bright aura.”

“First of all, I don’t have a bright anything,” Virgil replied. “And secondly, I think I would know if I was a witch.”

“Not necessarily,” Roman said, setting a tray on the table that held the teapot as well as some sugar and cream. “Lots of natural born witches go their whole lives without knowing.” “Yeah, but that isn’t me,” Virgil said, watching as Roman left and came back with a small plate tower of cakes and tiny tea sandwiches.

“You have to try the lavender cake with the lemon glaze,” Roman said, distributing small plates and starting to pour tea into teacups. “Anything in yours?”

Virgil shook his head, content to drink whatever tea it was plain. It smelled good, much better than any tea he had had before. He waited until his hosts had their cups and had sipped some before trying it.

“Oh...this is really good…” he said, having another sip.

“Thank you, thank you,” Roman said. “It’s a special blend of herbs and a little spellwork.”

“You sound creepy when you try and give random guys magic drinks,” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Virgil isn’t a random guy! He’s been my neighbor for three years!”

“And yet you only first spoke to him today because somebody was intimidated by the cute boy who lives across the street. It took you losing a bet to get the balls to go talk to hi- mmph!” Remus couldn’t finish his statement as Roman slapped a hand over his mouth.

“You were intimidated by me?” Virgil asked, shocked. “You’re literally a witch. I just saw you boil water with a wave of your hand. If you told me you studied at Hogwarts I wouldn't be shocked.”

Roman seemed to blush a little bit at the compliments, shaking his head. “No Hogwarts,” he said. “But of course I was slightly intimidated. You’re very mysterious, you know.”

“Me?”

“Yes! You live all alone in that big dark house and you hardly come outside which makes it very hard to snoop on the cute boy across the street.”

Now it was Virgil’s turn to blush a little bit. “You’re literally a witch,” he reminded.

“Oh my god you two are super hopeless,” Remus rolled his eyes. “Roman, just ask him out already.”

“Shut up,” Roman said, throwing a bite of cake at his brother before smiling at Virgil. “But I would like to get to know you better. Perhaps we can go to dinner some time, I can make up for all those times you had to answer the door for me.”

Virgil would have to be a complete idiot to say no. A gorgeous man in red and gold wanted to go on a date with him? And dinner didn’t sound too bad either.

“Okay…” he nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

“Tomorrow night perhaps?”

“Tomorrow night works,” Virgil said. “You do know where to find me.”

“Of course. The cute boy lives across the street.”

[allthingskakashi]

6. you look really cute in that sweater. ← made me feel things

Fluff prompt 6 : "You look really cute in that sweater."

• Knitted Heartstrings •

[ Kakashi x Reader] // 2.5k words

A/n : this title is meant to be cute but i think it just sounds grotesque

It had been a few weeks since winter had arrived at Konoha, bringing with itself a carriage full of moments, gift wrapped with warmth and joy to sprinkle all around. It brought cosy nights to be spent laughing by the fireplace with a loved one, in an icicled platter and first love blossoming in the first fall of snowflakes in a tiny snow globe.

Wherever the eye went, there were sheets and sheets of cotton white snow, shimmering in the sunlight like broken pieces of diamond. The small village looked ethereal.

For you, winter had always been special. There was something about the smell of snow that imbued your heart with hope, like any time now something magical would happen. Many scorned at the childish illusions that you knit inside your mind, dismissing it as a result of one too many Hallmark movies, but for you… the only melody that mattered was the one of your heart. And it said,

it was winter, and everything was magical.

You looked outside your window at the bustle of villagers on the street, wrapped up in cosy sweaters and colourful scarves. It was the first day of the Annual Winter Carnival, and even though it was barely 10 a.m., there was already a long line in front of the hot chocolate stand. Beyond the eager queue, you could see a line of small shops, each adorned with something different: winter clothing, holiday cards, Christmas decorations, plum cakes and pumpkin pies, you name it.

You adjusted your red scarf around your neck, putting on a pair of mittens as you smiled to yourself. It was a beautiful day outside and the festive spirit all around made the sun shine just a little brighter for you. Picking up your keys and wallet from the table, you headed for the door, crossing your nearly decorated Christmas tree on the way. The tall green tree was already bedecked in shining ornaments, colourful streamers and twinkling lights. The only thing it was missing was a tree topper and you made a mental note to pick one up from one of the ornament stalls that were sited around the town square.

You made your way towards the gleeful crowd far ahead, your boots drawing patterns along the soft snow as you went. The sapphire sky seemed to beam down upon your town, every storefront greeting the eyes with beautiful wreaths woven by flower shop workers and window displays of snowmen built by Academy children with styrofoam.

You spotted Gai in the distance, huddled up with Lee and Tenten, all of them holding what looked like mugs of cocoa in their hands. Despite the biting cold, Gai and Lee had on their usual green outfits, you noticed. All three of them waved as they saw you approaching and you waved back at one shivering and two fully unbothered figures.

As you looked around you could spot most of the Leaf shinobi. Some had even arrived from neighbouring villages as they always did at this time of year. Your eyes fell on Sakura and Ino laughing as they tried on funny hats at one of the garment stalls, and Kiba teaching Akamaru how to make a snow angel on the ground. Pretty much everyone was here, laughing, talking, enjoying themselves. Everyone other than…

Anyway.

Such sights of blithe happiness were scarce in the kind of world you lived in. Amidst missions, deaths and tragedies, you always had a black cloud looming over you at all times, following you everywhere you went. It came with the job, there was no way to escape it. But even then, at times like these, it almost felt as if you were a part of the normal world. As if the grains of food on your plate didn’t depend on taking lives.

Taking in the beautiful sights of early winter and humming to yourself as you continued scouring the surroundings, you stopped in front of one of the clothing stalls. It was a small one manned by a middle-aged woman but despite the smallness of the store, the collection of knitted sweaters it displayed caught your eye immediately.

There was one hanging at the back that had piqued your interest the most. It was a cream coloured piece with the image of a pug in a Christmas cap embroidered on it and the word “woof” sewn just above it. It was love at first sight and the knitted sweater was just hanging there, begging for you to come get it.

Stepping in to get a closer look, you requested the woman to get it down for you. You waited as she handed you the object of your admiration and as expected, the soft material melted into your hands. You ran your fingers along the embroidery, admiring the stitchwork and already imagining how perfect it’d be for a cold night in in your pajamas with a nice book and a box of cookies.

You asked if you could try it on, and as the woman nodded in permission, you put the sweater over your head, hastily slipping into it. But in your hurry, you had somehow mixed up the neck and the sleeves, causing you to find yourself in a tangled mess with your head inside the sweater and your eyesight fully obstructed.

You struggled to untwine yourself, squirming and wiggling as you tried to differentiate the damn neck from the arm holes. You knew you looked like an absolute klutz, you even heard some giggles from a passing group of children that you were pretty sure was directed at you, but you were almost getting out of breath and your hair was starting to stick into your mouth, so you decided to put your focus on getting yourself out first and your dignity afterwards. You heard the woman’s voice beside you offering to help and you were just about to take her up on it when you finally managed to slip through, panting as you caught your breath.

You smoothened out the sweater with your hands, before reaching up to sweep away several strands of your now tousled hair, when suddenly your eyes fell upon the tall figure in front of you, leaning against the stall with a book in his hand.

The sudden sight gave you a scare that almost made you jump as you let out a surprised squeak.

“Kakashi!?”

Your widened eyes fixed on his face, meeting his placid gaze as you watched Kakashi’s mouth stretch into a smirk.

“15 seconds.” he stated in a flat yet chaffing tone.

You furrowed your brows at him, voicing your confusion. “Huh?”

“You got out of that 15 seconds faster that I’d expected you to”, he replied, as you felt your cheeks getting warm with embarrassment.

Not only had he been here watching you make a complete fool of yourself, he had also been revelling in it.

That dingus.

But you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing you flustered, so you settled to play defensive instead.

“And in all your seconds of standing there and watching, did you at any point consider offering to help?” you said, sparing him a narrowed glance.

“Nope” Kakashi replied instantly, the smirk intact on his lips as you rolled your eyes, feeling your own irrepressible smile get the better of you.

Meanwhile, the shop lady pulled a mirror out from the back and placed it before you. You situated yourself in front of it, stepping back to take a look at yourself. You could feel Kakashi still standing there, his eyes on you, peering at you over his book and your stomach churned and flipped inside your body.

This was…new.

Kakashi and you went way back… but minus the friendly greetings and conversations at certain social gatherings, there hadn’t been much interaction between the two of you. Mostly because both of you usually preferred to keep to yourselves. All that, however, changed after you were sent on a recent tailing mission together.

The mission was primarily supposed to last a week, but due to certain complications, you ended up having to be away for over a month. You were both asked to lead the team, and working so close together required many nights to be spent discussing strategies and team formations. You spent more nights in each other’s company, drawing maps and going over plans than you spent sleeping; just the two of you under the wide black sky, awake in the silence of the night with nothing but the whisper of crickets to interrupt you. And in some of these times, your conversations slipped beyond strategic discussions, delving deeper into the kind of territories that required the dark of the night to be revealed.

It wasn’t something you’d ever seen coming, talking to the copy ninja, really talking, but it had happened nonetheless. And when it had, it felt like the most natural thing the world. Like dipping your toes into the pool on a hot summer day.

Even though neither of you had fully bared your souls to each other yet, he was quite easy to talk to and you had come to realise that you had more in common that you would ever have guessed. And that beneath his serene exterior, Kakashi hid a tide of emotions.

Of course, it wasn’t all hefty talk. You had a good laugh the time he told you how the scar on his right arm, which people assume to be the result of a valiant battle is not from a battle at all but a rather embarrassing kitchen mishap. And this other time you had a heated debate about how miso ramen is definitely NOT better than shoyu ramen. The debate ended up in a draw but sitting with him in the glowing twilight, talking about nothing and everything… it made you feel some kind of way.

And then of course, there was that one night. One moment which had stuck out to you the most, amidst all others.

It was just another tiresome day, and you had taken refuge in the woods for the night. Almost everyone in your team had suffered mild injuries, including yourself. You had gone up to Kakashi to ask for a bandage for your sprained wrist since your own med kit was devoid of one and then…instead of simply handing over the bandage to you, Kakashi had taken your hand in his and wordlessly wrapped it around your palm. And for some reason, something about that one moment had stirred something inside you. Kakashi hadn’t made a big show of it, no, it didn’t even feel anything out of the ordinary. But the way he had gently held your wrist in one hand as he carefully bandaged it with the other had made you short of breath. No one had ever shown such gentleness towards you before, not in that way.

And even though nothing had really happened between the two of you yet, ever since that mission things didn’t remain quite the same anymore. The silences became thicker, the glances lingering. Chance encounters became deliberate and every conversation turned to memorabilia. There seemed to be this unspoken attraction, a spark that lit up like firecrackers every time you came in each other’s vicinity.

So yes, all of this was rather new and you weren’t quite sure how to deal with it yet.

Keeping your mind from reminiscing any further and pulling it away from your churning stomach, you glanced at your reflection in front you. The sweater did fit you perfectly but disappointingly enough, it didn’t look quite as good as you’d hoped it would, and suddenly you weren’t so sure of your choice anymore.

Kakashi’s eyes were still on you, registering your frown, and it was as if you could feel his gaze tear through your bones, pulling away all your layers. It was unnerving and you cleared your throat, breaking the silence.

“So, what are you doing here, anyway?” you called out, your eyes still fixated on your reflection as you turned to catch glances of yourself from various angles. “Didn’t take you for much of a carnival kinda guy.”

You saw him smile out of the corner of your eye as he straightened up, coming around lazily to stand behind you.

“I’m full of surprises”, Kakashi shrugged, enunciating every word as his figure towered over yours, the warmth of his body almost tangible to you.

His sudden closeness to you made your breath catch at the back of your throat and you struggled to maintain your composure, staring straight ahead at your reflection to keep your gaze from meeting his, which you knew would be just enough to send your heart hammering.

The moments seemed to freeze as the both of you remained standing, both pairs of eyes fixated on the mirror as air around you started to take a life of its own. You thought you would almost lose your mind when Kakashi’s words finally broke the rippling silence.

“You look really cute in that sweater.”

His words, so arbitrary yet soft hung in the air between you as you felt your heart grow vicious in your chest. You could feel it thrashing inside you, pounding so hard you were scared even Kakashi would be able to hear it. You knew your cheeks were about the same colour as a ripe cherry and you felt your mouth twitching with words that you couldn’t form.

You looked up slowly into the mirror and found the reflection of Kakashi’s eyes, waiting to meet yours. Even through the glass, his gaze burnt with an emotion that almost frightened you.

“You uh- you think so?” you heard yourself stutter, that sweater in the mirror suddenly looking like the most beautiful thing you’ve ever worn. You turned around a few more times, running your hand along the soft fabric again. “well uh I guess it’s not…bad” you said, your voice coming out more nervous than you would’ve liked it to.

Kakashi grinned, moving from behind you and starting to walk away as you pulled the sweater up, getting ready to take it back off. Thankfully for you, it came off this time without requiring any excessive wiggling.

You watched Kakashi’s slightly hunched figure walk away in the other direction, before stopping to turn back around at you.

“So, are you going to take that?” he called, a tease to his tone as he stood holding his book in one hand, the other warm inside his pocket.

“Maybe. I’m still deciding” you called back in the same tone as you watched him smirk, before being faced with his back again as he turned away slowly, walking ahead with his book open in front of him.

You watched him go, wondering if he would turn around again, but he didn’t and his striking silver hair disappeared from view as he became one with the crowd. You turned to the lady in front of you, the sweater hung over your arm as you struggled to hold the grin that threatened to erupt any time now. For some reason, the sweater in your hands didn’t feel like a piece of cloth anymore but something that had your heartstrings sewn amidst its threads.

You folded the soft fabric carefully, making it into a neat ball before holding it out to the lady with both hands, grinning at her.

“How much will this be?”

[ordinaryschmuck]

Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best

Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:

Humor that is cynical yet random

Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama

An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.

This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.

(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)

#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.

#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.

#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.

#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.

#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.

#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.

#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.

#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.

#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.

#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.

#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.

#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.

And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.

[loisroo]

First line tag game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors! 

I got tagged by @evil-moonlight thank youuuuuu! I’m not sure how much of an author I am or anything like that seeing how I haven’t posted any of these and most are WIP and two are originals… but here I go!

1. Kim Ha Yoon… what-?” Joowon glances over towards the door of the butcher shop the same time everyone else does. Lee Dongsik rises from his seat, the table conversation forgotten with the new arrival. (untitled beyond evil fic)

2. Han Joowon stares absently at the tv as it plays a random movie he doesn’t remember putting on. He had been exhausted mere moments before but the text that had been sent obliterated any thoughts of sleep he may have. (super rough title- trust fall beyond evil fic)

3. “He does not deserve my brother.” Lan Zhan’s jaw is set and his fists are clenched at his side. (A super piney Xicheng fic where Jiang Cheng’s had a crush on Xichen since the sunshot campaign)

4. Zhou Zishu looks angrily at Helian Yu now, barely able to suppress the anger that flares to life within him. “My soulmate? You are not qualified. My soulmate-” (word of honor title Qualified)

5. Jiang Cheng stares down at his hands, fear and panic creeping up his spine, that didn’t just happen… was he losing his mind? Jiang Cheng jumps a little as a loud voice interrupts his thoughts, “Sir, did you want something else? I have a line..” (cherry magic but Xicheng - no title)

6. When were you going to tell me you have a crush on Xichen-ge?” Jiang Cheng startles, grumbling when a little of the hot soup splashes onto his hand. (Xicheng fic roughly titled Crush)

7. It’s a normal, boring day at the substation and Jihoon is already thinking about his dinner. He’s in the middle of choosing the perfect vegetable to pair with his main dish when something loudly bangs into the doors of the substation. (My witness protection program romcom-ish beyond evil fic)

8. “Mom, you are almost as excited as Tops, both of you are giving me second-hand excitement.” Win’s mother clicks her tongue at her younger son and playfully swats at him before giving Tops a warm smile (super self indulgent Ingredients fic)

9. “Dongsik-ah, you dont have to pretend with me.” He gives his old friend a thoughtful look, “What do you mean, Jaeyoo?” She shoots him an unimpressed look back, “Whatever it is you are trying to do right now. Forcing yourself to like me? Ignoring whoever it is that makes you keep checking your phone. I have a feeling you have been in love for a bit Lee Dongsik, whether you know it or not.” (Another super self indulgent beyond evil fic with no title)

10. Shen slowly walked through the rows of shops that lined the street, ignoring the growing number of people. The market was just starting to reawaken after it's slow season and Shen enjoyed watching everything flourish to life, like his favorite flowers back in his hometown. (This is an original work that’s real gay and the tentative title is The Next Right Thing)

11. Annabelle remembers the first time she sees Winnie, the memory is one she stores away reverently in her brain. She thinks about it frequently when she’s sitting in her small apartment, feeling lonely and regretful. (Another original work based loosely off Jane Austen’s Persuasion)

Most of my first lines are dialogue or super character driven!

No pressure tags! @katierosefun @lasenbyphoenix @laowen @cafedecanela

[just-a-poor-boy-queen]

Jim was startled awake by the buzzing of the intercom and could barely keep back a yawn as he dragged himself off the sofa and sloped towards the front door, his “quick kip” having turned into an hour-long nap. He wondered who would be visiting this time of the day. Freddie was away doing a photoshoot and Khaleel was at school, so he hadn’t been expecting any visitors.

‘Who is it?’ He mumbled sleepily into the intercom.

‘It’s me.’ A familiar voice replied.

Mary had started making a habit of popping around in the afternoon, even if she knew Freddie wasn’t there. Jim would make her a cup of tea and they would sit in the kitchen or the garden, chatting for a couple of hours. It seemed to be her way of extending an olive branch, and as odd as he sometimes found her, Jim was happy enough to oblige; having Mary as a friend was preferable to the hostility that once existed between them.

But when Mary stepped through the front door, Jim immediately sensed that something was amiss. The woman looked nervous, clutching a large carrier bag in her hands as her eyes darted around the hallway with uncertainty, like she was expecting a tiger to spring out of nowhere.

‘It’s lovely to see you.’ Jim took one of her hands in his own and pressed a kiss against her cheek, which seemed to pacify her, if only slightly. ‘Is everything alright?’

Mary hesitated, before giving him a rather forced smile. ‘Yes, everything’s fine.’ She glanced around again. ‘Freddie’s not here, is he?’

‘He has a photoshoot today.’

‘Oh, yes. Of course he does.’

Jim frowned, his thumb extending to gently stroke her knuckles reassuringly. ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

She seemed tempted to lie again but must have realised that doing so would be pointless. She sighed and gave Jim’s hand a squeeze. ‘I need to talk to you about something.’

Jim took her through to the lounge, calling for Phoebe to put the kettle on for them all. He sat on one of the sofas beside Mary, noting how she fiddled with the carrier bag before setting it at her feet. Whatever was in it seemed to be the source of her discomfort.

‘Freddie’s parents have been in contact with me.’ She finally announced, taking Jim by surprise.

‘Ah.’ The Irishman now understood why she had been so wary about Freddie being present. ‘I see.’

‘I didn’t say anything because I knew Freddie would hit the roof if he found out I’ve been speaking to them. But they were desperate for my help and I didn’t know what else to do.’

‘You could have said no.’ Jim muttered, though he immediately felt like an ass when he saw Mary cringe with guilt. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But he’s cut them off for a reason, Mary. They almost cost us our son.’

‘I know, I know. I’m so sorry, Jim.’ Her cheeks went pink and for a moment Jim was worried she might cry. ‘What they did to you and Freddie was unforgiveable. But they really regret their actions. They just want to talk to Freddie, tell him they’re sorry, explain.’

‘I don’t want to hear their explanations and neither does Freddie.’ Jim replied firmly. ‘There’s nothing to discuss. They did what they did, and there’s nothing they can say or do to redeem themselves. I know you’re just trying to help, Mary, but they’ve hurt Freddie enough. I won’t stand by and let them do it again. You tell them that if they truly care about Freddie, they’ll stay away.’

Mary nodded sadly. ‘I had a feeling you’d say that. I can’t say I blame you. Jer and Bomi have always been good to me but sometimes I think they blame me for not keeping Freddie “in check” so to say. Honestly, at times it felt as though they expected me to wave a bloody magic wand and just stop their son from being gay.’

‘They’re products of their time.’ Replied Jim with a sigh. ‘They’re good people, but if they can’t accept Freddie for who he is, then they can’t be a part of his life. Freddie’s tired of leading a double life, having to pretend he’s something he’s not for their comfort. His illness made him realise that life is too short to live by other people’s standards. I had hoped his parents would understand that but clearly they don’t.’

Silence overcame the pair, only interrupted when Phoebe walked in with a tray of tea and biscuits. The three of them fell into pleasant conversation for the next few hours, though Jim could tell that Mary had been upset by the whole ordeal and he made a point of holding her hand to comfort her. After Phoebe cleared away the dishes and retired to the conservatory, Jim escorted Mary to the front door, his eye falling upon the plastic carrier bag that she was still clinging to like a lifeline.

‘What’s in the bag?’ He enquired, ignoring his mother’s voice at the back of his mind reprimanding him for being nosy.

With great hesitation, Mary reached into the bag and pulled out a large baby blue quilt, holding it up so Jim could see. It appeared to be hand-knitted, embroidered with floral patterns and tiny white birds. In the middle, the word BIJOU had been sewn in thick, calligraphed letters.

‘Khaleel’s blanket.’ Jim observed, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his ribcage.

‘She wants him to have it.’ Mary said softly, her eyes slightly moist. ‘In case she never gets to see him again.’

Jim knew that he should turn it down. He wasn’t going to be manipulated into feeling sorry for his in-laws, especially after everything that had happened. But he remembered the look of excitement on Khaleel’s face whenever he came back from Dādī and Dādā’s house and gleefully updated him on the progress of his new blanket. The child would sit and watch Jer knit for hours, following every rise and dip of the needle as if he was in a trance. Even two years later, he still asked about the blanket, confused as to why Dādī hadn’t finished it yet, why they never went around to Jer and Bomi’s for tea at the weekend anymore. Denying his poor boy the last remaining tie to his beloved grandparents seemed unacceptably cruel.

‘Thank you, Mary.’ Jim took the blanket, folding it up with the greatest of care. ‘I appreciate you telling me. I wish this could have turned out differently.’

‘Me too.’ Mary replied. ‘I’m sorry, Jim. Please, tell Freddie I’m sorry too.’

--

Jim had just sent Khaleel up to brush his teeth when he heard keys turning in the front door and the familiar sound of his husband’s voice calling, ‘darling, I’m home!’

He sighed, pulling out the blanket from where he had hidden it in the drinks cabinet and smoothed it out on the sofa, preparing himself for the row that was inevitably coming his way.

‘You won’t believe the day I’ve had.’ Freddie drawled as he glided into the lounge. ‘Roger came in with a raging hangover, so we all had to wait until he’d drank a litre of coffee before we-’

He cut off as soon as he noticed the blanket, the smile immediately disappearing from his face. Jim expected him to start screaming and shouting right then and there but he didn’t say a word. He seemed frozen, so shocked he couldn’t utter a syllable.

When he finally did speak, his voice was low and dangerous. ‘What the hell is that doing here?’

‘Mary brought it over.’ Jim said calmly. ‘Your mother gave it to her to give to Khaleel. She wants him to have it.’

More silence. Freddie wasn’t often left speechless, but right now he seemed genuinely lost for words. Jim could only imagine what was going through his head; all the suppressed memories that were suddenly resurfacing, coiling around his brain like a venomous snake.

‘Get rid of it.’ Freddie whispered.

‘We can’t keep this from him.’ Jim replied, being mindful not to raise his voice. ‘You know how much this blanket means to Khaleel. If he ever finds out we kept it from him, he’ll never forgive us.’

‘I want it gone!’ Freddie snapped, hands balling into fists like a stubborn child. ‘Why the fuck did you accept it? Why the fuck did Mary bring it? Who the hell does she think she is?’

He abruptly turned and started marching towards the phone, grabbing the handset, and stabbing at the buttons furiously.

‘Freddie, what are you doing?’

‘What does it look like I’m doing?’ Freddie growled, ‘I’m going to give that backstabber a piece of my mind! Hello, Piers? Put Mary on the phone. I don’t care if she’s asleep, put her on the phone right now-!’

‘Freddie!’ Jim snatched the handset and slammed it back on the receiver, startling the Persian man. ‘Don’t blame Mary for this. Your parents put her in an awkward position, and she did what she thought was right. I understand why you’re upset, and you have every right to be! But don’t take it out on her.’

Freddie scoffed. ‘Since when are you two the best of friends? She knows what my parents did to us, yet she’s willing to do their dirty work for them.’

‘She was just trying to help. She thought this might help you reconcile with them if you saw how much they care.’

‘If they really cared about me, they would have come themselves; instead, they’re using my ex-girlfriend as a fucking middleman!’

‘You know I resent them as much as you do, but we can’t go on lying to Khaleel forever. He hasn’t seen his grandparents in two years, Freddie. He’s always asking when we’re going to see Dādī and Dādā again, and I can barely look him in the eye when I use the old “they’re busy” excuse. One day, he’s going to find out what really happened, and he’ll resent us for not telling him the truth.’

‘And how the hell do you explain to a seven-year-old that his own grandparents don’t value him as much as his cousins because he’s adopted, and his parents are poofs? Please tell me Jim because I’d love to know! You don’t think I want to tell him the truth? Do you think I enjoy lying to his face whenever he asks about them? I’m so glad you have such a high opinion of me, darling!’

Freddie’s dark eyes swivelled to the blanket, sparkling with tears, and filled with hate; he suddenly grabbed it, making a beeline for the fireplace only to be intercepted by Jim.

‘Freddie, don’t.’ Jim begged, his grip firm on the blanket, though he made sure not to pull it in fear that it might tear. ‘Don’t do it. You’ll never forgive yourself.’

‘Fuck off!’ Freddie spat, tugging in an effort to get it out of Jim’s hands. ‘I don’t want any trace of those people in my house! If you truly loved me, you’d understand!’

Jim froze, his hold on the blanket loosening. Then he released it altogether.

‘Fine.’ He said coldly, in a voice that made Freddie feel like a ghost had passed through him. ‘Go ahead. Burn the damn thing. But when Khaleel asks me when his blanket is coming, I’m not going to lie to him anymore. You can explain to him that you tossed it into the fire. So, go ahead. Do it.’

Freddie stared at the flames determinedly, Jim’s words doing somersaults in his head. His fingers itched to just throw the quilt and watch it burn but picturing the look of heartbreak on Khaleel’s face deterred him from doing so.

‘Fuck.’ He hissed, tearing away from the fireplace, and fleeing the lounge.

Fucking Jim, he thought as he tore up the staircase, swearing under his breath as he made it to the landing and stormed towards the airing cupboard, fucking fucking Jim.

He threw open the cupboard door and was about to bundle the blanket behind the towels when he noticed the words that had been sewn into it.

BIJOU

Tears pooled into Freddie’s eyes. Almost instinctively, he brought the blanket close to his face and softly inhaled. It smelled of lavender and the spices Mama used for cooking. It smelled like home.

Freddie furiously wiped his eyes and shoved the blanket right into the far end of the cupboard.

Part 34 of the Jimercury kid series

Oof, you weren't lying when you said that angst was on its way for our favourite family. Firstly, Freddie's parents reaching out to Mary and trying to make her act like a pacifier, instead of say, Kash, is very plausible, especially after Kash's indirect involvement in the entire fiasco.

This is honestly such a tough decision for Freddie, and Jim too. No matter how big an olive branch his parents extend, the shadow of their actions will always loom over their relationship. I really feel for our two dads. And it's definitely not an easy thing to explain to Khaleel, either. But should they give it a shot? Or is it better to keep from their son the fact that his grandparents were the cause of his trauma?

I just love how well you're able to convey the emotions of your characters in such few words. I could not only see, but also feel their pain, and oof... hats off to you for being so evocative with your words.

I really cannot wait to see what happens next💙

(More drabbles by writer anon)

(All the parts of this series can also be found under the tag #freddie and jim and their baby on this blog)

[politalysis]

# What has happened to JK Rowling?

Growing up in the early 2000s immediately made Harry Potter a huge part of your childhood. Even if you never read the books or watched the films, you can probably name the three main characters. Even if you weren’t interested in Harry Potter in the slightest, you probably know your Hogwarts house. It’s incredible what Harry Potter did for our generation all over the world. Children would stay up on their eleventh birthdays anxiously awaiting a Hogwarts acceptance letter, knowing full well that owl was never going to come. Our imagination kept the dream of going to Hogwarts and learning magic alive anyway. Even now at the age of 23, I can for the most part keep a conversation flowing with anyone who has read the books or even just watched the films. You could even go as far as to say it was our generation’s Lord of the Rings.

JK Rowling came from very humble beginnings. She suffered with depression in her childhood and early teens, and lost her mother to multiple sclerosis in 1990. These struggles inspired her a lot when writing Harry Potter. She channeled her grief and pain into her writing. In 1992, she married a man she had met whilst living in Portugal, but Rowling suffered domestic abuse at his hands and the couple separated a year later. She lost her job and moved to Edinburgh in Scotland, where she had to sign up for welfare benefits, which left her a poor and depressed single mother spending her time writing in coffee shops. When she finished writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, twelve publishers rejected the opportunity to publish the book. Once someone finally agreed to publish the book, it became the best selling children’s book of the year.

We all know how the story goes from there. Rowling wrote six more Harry Potter books, eight films were made, and Rowling went from a poor vulnerable single mother to a multi millionaire in the space of a few short years. Harry Potter is now a global brand estimated to be worth about $15 billion. The last four books have each consecutively set the record for the fastest selling book in history. Rowling is now the richest author in the world, with a net worth of $92 million. But as well as money, JK Rowling has over 14 million followers on Twitter. This gives her massive influence as well as money. Rowling seemed to initially use this influence for good, spreading mental health awareness, LGBT inclusivity, interacting with fans and creating a website for all us Harry Potter fans to determine our houses and let our wands choose us.

I remember being 8 years old when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released, and I was attending a religious school where some parents complained and called to ban Harry Potter over the controversial decision JK Rowling made regarding Dumbledore’s sexuality. Rowling had made the claim that Dumbledore was gay. Looking back, the controversy was ridiculous and I can only imagine how embarrassed some of those parents must be. I also remember as I got older, re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I noticed more that the emotion behind Dumbledore’s relationship with Grindelwald was one he held with a romantic love. So years later, when several members of the LGBT community attacked Rowling for only deciding Dumbledore’s sexuality after the books were written, I publicly defended her with my knowledge that that simply wasn’t true. I had this image of Rowling in my mind, that she had always been on the right side of this debate. She had always been inclusive and supportive of LGBT people as far as I could see, and I just didn’t understand the issue. Rowling had always expressed a centre-left political perspective, and although I didn’t agree with all her views, they seemed relatively uncontroversial.

When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released, I hated it. It was a literary disaster, completely disrespectful of the original book series, the characters were a shell of the characters we had grown up with, the plot was almost deliberately ridiculous and overly elaborate and I immediately dismissed it as not canon. I have never forgiven JK Rowling for publicly stating the book was canon. She almost destroyed a whole two decades of her own hard work and the franchise that she’d built that had been like a home for a whole generation. All because she wanted to grab a few extra quid for a terrible book she didn’t even write. To this day I can’t help but wonder if she has even read the book. If I had written the masterpiece that is Harry Potter, I would view the Cursed Child as an insult. Perhaps I’ll even write a review one day, just for fun. Rowling also annoyed me by going back on her story, regretting pairing Ron and Hermione together and not pairing Hermione with Harry. Ron and Hermione are my favourite couple from the story, and their relationship had so much meaning. I couldn’t believe that the author who wrote such a clever and consistent relationship between two beloved characters could ever regret it. At this point in my life, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps Rowling was losing her mind. It was almost like she was trying to destroy her legacy.

As more years passed, the Fantastic Beasts films were released. The first film looked promising, but the second film was yet another disaster. Again, it was inconsistent with the franchise as we knew it, for some reason Hogwarts was full of people wearing 3 piece suits instead of the robes they wore in the Harry Potter series and Minerva McGonigall appeared as a teacher despite the fact that canonically there is no way she could have been old enough. The film was a disaster with both fans and critics hating it. Amongst this mess came controversy in December 2019. Rowling lost all respect she had once held amongst the transgender community when she made a public statement supporting Maya Forstater, a British woman who lost her employment tribunal case against her employer who fired her over transphobic comments. Six months later on June 6 2020, Rowling criticised the term “people who menstruate” and stated: "If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives." Rowling’s views on these issues were heavily criticised by GLAAD and even by the actors from the Harry Potter movies including lead actors Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson.

Rowling published a 3,600 word essay in response to the mass criticism of her views four days later. The essay did her no favours, as she wrote: “When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.” She seemed to be suggesting that trans women are often just men disguised as women in order to trick or even harm other women. This obviously angered the transgender community even more, and women’s refuge shelters that allow trans women were reporting no rise in violence as a result, children’s charities that support gender non conforming children were criticising Rowling, she was being made to give back awards and ultimately Rowling was labelled a Trans exclusionary radical feminist, a term often abbreviated to TERF.

JK Rowling is the perfect example of how money and influence can make someone forget their roots so easily. For someone who survived poverty, domestic abuse and sexual assault, she is so lacking in self awareness and how the things she has said and done can be harmful to transgender people. It is widely reported that transgender women are at more risk of harm in female restrooms than cisgender women. With acceptance becoming the norm, transgender people are feeling more safe to come out now than ever before, and so the rise in numbers of the community is huge, especially amongst our generation who grew up with Harry Potter. For a young transgender teenager to grow up wondering how Hogwarts would accommodate them, only to hear the author who gave us Hogwarts in the first place disapprove of equal rights for transgender people, must be very disheartening. However, JK Rowling has proven that she has no idea how powerful the legacy her books created really is. She was tasked with following up the Harry Potter series, and what she gave us was inconsistent and very poorly written screenplays. I have read better sequels on tumblr. Lots of them. Hogwarts doesn’t belong to JK Rowling, it belongs to the fandom. And I’ll be willing to bet my last penny that if Professor McGonigall witnessed any bullying of transgender students in her classroom (or indeed the girls bathroom!) she’d absolutely defend the victim without a moment’s hesitation. Hermione would decorate the Gryffindor common room with little blue, pink and white flags in support of a transgender first year who’d just been sorted into Gryffindor. Luna Lovegood would sit and befriend any trans student who looked lonely, and Ginny would dish out a bat bogey hex to anyone who dared pick on them. No matter what JK Rowling thinks, Hogwarts is not hers to ruin. It is ours. Regardless of what makes us different, Hogwarts is our home.