#god. anyway i’ve been feeling guilty because i’m finally starting to learn how to play the guitar so i’m going to be making a fair amount

[camgoloud]

the unaffordability of one bedroom apartments in my area is something that can be so oppressive to me personally

[itsallyscorner]

For Tom x

Pairing: Tom Holland x singer!reader

Summary: You have a surprise for Tom:)

Warnings: none, just pure teeth rotting Fluff:)

A/n: Hello my loves! This is literally a rewrite because I accidentally deleted the original version of this story on Tumblr RIGHT before I was gonna post it😭 Anyway here it is, I hope you all like it! Ally x

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

look at my sunshine🥺

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

Your giggles filled the hallway as you lead Tom into your makeshift studio. Since you were quarantining with him and his mates in their shared home in London, you were miles away from your crew and studio. Which, yes, made it difficult to record an entire album on your own—but it did give you the creative freedom to do whatever you pleased for the album.

The boys had their own creative outlets; for example putting together a puzzle or having a movie marathon. While you found those activities enjoyable, the inner singer in you couldn’t stop thinking of beats or coming up with lyrics in your head. You needed the studio—you needed to bring those beats and lyrics to life before you could forget them. So with the help of the houses’ tech lord himself, Harry made it possible for you to have your own little studio in the spare guest room of the house. There, you spent endless days writing and recording things like harmonies and building melodies. Little did you know that this would lead to the creation of your sixth album. Now a couple months later, your latest album is currently in its final stages and would soon be released to the world.

Tom adoringly watched your figure, which was drowned in one of his oversized jumpers, excitedly skip towards the guest room. As soon as you were both inside, you rushed to close the door and eagerly pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed.

“What have you been up to, lovey?” He teasingly asks you. He knew you were up to something, he just didn’t know if it were bad or good.

Your figure was bent over the desk where your laptop was located. Turning over your shoulder you tell him, “It’s nothing bad, I promise!” You’re met with an amused grin on his blush pink lips.

Gathering your laptop into your arms, you move to sit beside Tom on the bed. He curiously leans forward, trying to get a glance at what’s on your screen.

“Nuh uh, it’s a surprise, Thomas.” You playfully scold him and gently push his face away from your laptop. He responds with a pout against your palm before pressing a kiss onto your skin. You continue to click around on your laptop, looking through your documents for the specific file.

Meanwhile, Tom shuffles further up the bed, getting comfortable. He notices the new distance between you and him and decides that he’s unsatisfied with the additional inches. He choses to snake his arms around your waist and lifts you up, happily placing you on the empty and lonely space on his lap. Laying down on his back, he takes a moment to admire the way you look in his jumper. It was a few sizes bigger than you and stopped right above your knees. The jumper may have looked good on him, but it looked absolutely perfect on you.

“You look so cute in my jumper.” He hums, hands lazily rubbing up and down your thighs. Your nose scrunches up as you lightly slap his chest; your silent way of saying “shut up” whenever Tom would say something that made you blush.

You finally find the file you were looking for and place your laptop on your lap. You nervously glance at your screen, biting down on your lip out of habit.

“Ok, so I did something.” You started. Tom squints his eyes at you, “That sounds like the beginning of a really bad something.”

You huff, “I just told you it wasn’t anything bad! Do you want your surprise or not?”

Tom chuckles and grasps onto your thighs, “Yes—yes, sorry, keep going.”

“So you know how I’ve already finished my album?” You question him. Tom nods, staring up at you while you sit on his thighs.

“Well, I wrote a few more songs that were supposed to be on the album. But I don’t know, I felt a bit greedy and decided to keep them for myself.” You explain. Tom raises a brow at you, “Baby, you don’t have to feel guilty about keeping songs to yourself. If you don’t want to share them, you don’t have to.”

“No, it’s just that, they’re about you.” You pause, staring down at your fingers that fiddled together. “Like I wrote them specifically for you to listen to. I wanted to include them on the album, but it just didn’t feel right to share something that was meant only for you.”

You place your laptop on the bed and turn it so the screen is facing Tom.

“So...as a solution, I made you your own album.” You were too busy avoiding his stare, that you missed the twinkle in Tom’s coffee colored orbs. He carefully sits up, his arms around you getting tighter, as he pulls you closer into his chest. Tom ducks his head down to yours, nudging your nose with his to get you to look at him. When your eyes finally meet, the lopsided grin on his features grows wider.

“You made me my own album?”

“Yeah.” You shyly answer. Tom softly coos at you, cupping your face and pressing a chaste kiss onto both of your cheeks.

“You are the most precious thing in the world, sunshine, I swear.” He squishes your cheeks together and began to cover your face with butterfly like kisses. Sweet laughs erupt from you, the sounds making Tom’s heart swell.

You stuff your face in the space between his neck and shoulder, using it as a place to hide from his lips. Instead, Tom opts to lay his kisses along the side of your face, your neck, and your shoulder.

“Lemme kiss you!” He whines. You chuckle at him, finally moving away from his neck. His attention darts towards your lips more than once, prompting you to lean forward and connect them with his. Tom’s lips were soft against yours, like clouds or cushiony pillows. The kiss was short and sweet; though it didn’t prevent you from feeling the adoration and passion he felt for you in that moment. In fact, he felt it all the time, but right now, his love for you was coursing through his veins.

He finally pulls away, leaving the taste of him linger in your mouth. “Can I have a listen?” He motions his head towards your laptop beside him.

“Go ahead.” Tom’s arms unravel from your waist, the area they once occupied left cold and yearning for his warmth. He uses one of his elbows to hold himself up and the other to control the touchpad. His eyes scan the file.

For Tom x

someone like u

test drive

worst behavior

main thing

He glances at you, “I start with ‘someone like u’, right?” You reply with a quiet “mhm”.

Tom clicks on the link. The opening notes of ‘someone like u’ begin to play followed by your angelic voice. You hear him release a content sigh, making a small smile to form on your lips. His arms make their way around you again, this time holding you closer against him. He rests his head on your chest and sneakily presses a kiss onto your neck. You fondly run a hand through his curly hair and rest your chin on the top of his head, listening to the songs you’ve made for him.

The two of you listen through the album in one go with no stops. You found joy in Tom’s reactions towards every song. Sometimes he would make little comments or sounds of shock whenever he heard you hit a certain note. He nodded along to the beats of ‘test drive’ and ‘worst behavior’, dancing around in his seat and making you join him. This time, you didn’t miss the twinkle in his eyes when he listened closely to the lyrics. ‘Main thing’ got him the most, leaving him with a goofy-lovesick grin plastered onto his face.

When ‘main thing’ came to a close, the room became silent, leaving Tom enough time to process the four songs you wrote about him and the meanings behind them.

You were the first to speak, “So did you like it?” You scan his face looking for any signs of dislike.

Tom’s eyes widen, “Are you kidding me? That was bloody fantastic—that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard! I’m obsessed with it, oh my god!” He expressed, arms moving around as he spoke.

His face was radiating with happiness, “You are the most talented and loving woman in the world. And I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you or your love—but I just love you so fucking much.”

“I love you so fucking much too, you dork.” You laugh, pecking his lips.

“No, but seriously, thank you so much. I know you’re used to writing songs, but the fact that you actually took the time to write songs about me means a lot. They’re just a bunch of songs, but they mean the world to me and I cherish each and every one of them.” He admits, taking one of your hands and placing it onto his heart. Your palm feels the faint rhythm of his heart beating against his chest.

You tilt your head at him, mirroring the smile on his face, “I’ll always write songs about you. You somehow manage to inspire them anyway.”

Tom smirks, “Well I am Tom Holland.” You snort and roll your eyes at his humble brag.

“You’re still a dork, Tommy.” You comment.

Tom shrugs, “I’m a special dork because I’m your dork. Therefore making me superior to the other existing dorks—there’s a difference, darling.”

“And where did you come up with this hypothesis, Mr. Holland?” You question him, playing along with his antics.

“It’s Tom’s Theory.” He answers with feign seriousness. You burst out laughing, “Oh is it?”

Tom leans down to your laptop and restarts his album. “Yes, and now Tom’s Theory, believes that we should listen to the album again until I learn all the lyrics to every single song.” He proclaims.

“Babe, you don’t have to—” Tom stops you, “I’m dead serious.”

It was going to be a long night.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Tags ↴

*@/username = Tumblr won’t let me tag you :( *

Tom Holland + characters Taglist

↪︎ @lovableparker @aprettyfleur @sunwardsss @dummiesshort @thotforcriminalminds @cuddlykoala101 @itstaskeen @whoslili @white-wolf1940 @tomsirishgirlx @roseke @kaylans-imagines @spideyspeaches @slutforsebstan

General Taglist

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney @bi-lmg @rqmanoff @sesamepancakes @stardustofreading

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Touch-starved

Levi Ackerman x GN!reader

This is pretty self-indulgent, Its a Levi x touch-starved reader. Modern AU. Hurt to comfort.

1.8k words

Trigger warning: None, there are no spoilers

Let me know if I missed a trigger or if you spot any spelling mistakes.

Feedback is encouraged  

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Before you started dating Levi, everyone you knew, including himself warned you. They told you that a relationship with him wouldn't be normal, that it wouldn't fulfill your relationship needs. But you loved him and even though he wasn’t very affectionate you knew that he loved you too. Thought that wasn't clear right now. Currently, you were at the wedding of one of your friends, it was nice, too nice. It made you realize how much different your and Levi's relationships were. The biggest difference was how many other people in relationships touch each other. Before you met Levi you thought you could never be in a relationship without touching, but then you fell for him and learned that he was uncomfortable with touch. Which you respected, but sometimes you wished that you could have a reassuring handhold or a thank you kiss on the cheek, it didn't have to be PDA, just in private. Though you don't want to break your boyfriend’s boundaries. Your feelings only worsen every time someone starts hitting their glasses with silverware, trying to get the new couple to kiss, which they did, it made you jealous. Using this jealousy as the fuel you move your hand from the cup you were holding to Levi’s leg, reassuringly. Though it was quickly shoved off and hanging by the side of your body, you didn't have the motivation to move it. You repeat to yourself that he loves you, you try and remember the sweet moments in your relationship but none are coming up. You never ignited to yourself but you were touch starved, even before meeting Levi. You don't know how long you sat there, your body limp, your brain is overthinking. Half of your brain is trying to convince you that he does love you, while the other half was telling you that you deserved more from him. You were broken from your limp body and crazy thoughts from the clinking of glass and silverware and then cheering after the couple’s kiss. You watched as they kiss and hold on to another’s hand while sitting down, it hurt, you felt hatred inside you. You abruptly stood up and walked toward the doors, you couldn't leave, but you could at least get some fresh air. That was your plan anyway, but as soon as you got outside and out of sight of everyone, you broke down,  it just so much. You had the boyfriend but you didn't have the kisses, hand-holding, cuddles that you thought were a part of a relationship. For god’s sake, your love language was physical touch you should have known that a relationship with Levi would fail. 

"What's wrong brat?"

Levi turned the corner, and though his words were rude his voice was softer than normal. You breathed in trying to calm and hide your breakdown but Levi was pretty good at seeing through you. He ruffled your hair, that’s right he does give physical affection but pat or ruffling off your hair was the most, and he did that to everyone, it wasn’t the special relationship touches you wanted, you weren’t special. Your boyfriend slid down to the ground with you

“Why are you out here, sitting on the dirty ground?” 

As much as you hated the absence of physical touch in your relationship, you couldn’t tell him that, he had his boundaries and you’re supposed to respect that, so you held off on telling him.

“I don’t know I just wanted some air.”

You lied, and he saw through it.

“Why did you want fresh air?”

You were really tiring to hold back your thoughts and opinions of his boundaries but it had been building up for the past six months, and so it all came spilling out.

“Because I feel unloved. I mean I know you love me but you never physically express it. I feel like your repulsed by the idea of me and my body, I can’t even hold your hand. You just shove me away, and I just feel disgusting a guilty for even trying because I know you have boundaries and that I was warned that this would happen but I thought that I could handle it, but I can’t. I’m touch starved and the one person I feel comfortable enough to help me, to cuddle me, to love me, doesn’t want to, or they cant. And it makes me feel so guilty for feeling that way, and that just adds to the terrible feeling inside. I don’t think I can deal with it anymore, I thought that my love for you would fill that hole, the one missing physical touch, but the love just made it worse because I love you too much to break your boundaries. And-and, I think it would be better for my heart if we stopped. If if we we stopped our relationship.”

You were so emotional that you were stuttering some words, the tears that you stopped when Levi showed up had come back even worse. Sometime during your speech you stood up, Levi stayed on the ground leaning against the building, and at the end of your declaration, you speed-walked into the building and the restroom. You whipped your tears as well as you could. Walking out of the restroom you headed to the bar, you didn’t know what you were gonna order, you just knew you were going to need it. You reached the bar and tried to stutter out an order but you couldn’t name a drink and the bartender moved onto someone else. Dissociated you walked back to your seat, and once again the sound that backend the couple to kiss was being made. You sat in your chair dissociating for a while, the only thing you processed was the sound of silverware tapping glass that happened every so often, and that the chair next to you was still empty. He probably took the offer to leave you and this relationship, and even though you encouraged it, you still weren’t ready for it. You rested your elbows on the table and then your head in your hands. You started to cry again for so many reasons, realizing that you lost the few head pats and hair ruffling he would give you, realizing that you would probably be more touch starved now. Suddenly there was a weight on your back, and arms wrapped around your neck loosely like a hug. You didn’t have the energy to shove off whoever was responsible so you tried your best with words, feeling more anger than sadness all of the sudden.

“Whoever is touching me, stop.” 

The arms and weight stayed, and that small bit of anger changed back to sadness

“Just please, I can’t right now, please sto-”

Before you could finish your plea the person behind you spoke up

“It’s me”

Levi, his voice was softer than you ever heard, and you weren’t sure if you could believe it, both because of the voice and the hug he was giving you.

“Why?”

“I don’t want to lose you, can we talk outside?”

You nodded your head, then you felt him remove himself from you, you stood up and to your surprise, he grabbed your hand, you couldn’t tell if he was holding you in a possessive way, a caring way, or a loving way. What you did know was that it was tight and desperate. When you reached outside, your hand was still in his, his other hand was trapping you between him and the wall.

“I think you miss understand my boundaries, along with how much you matter to me.”

You still weren’t sure if he was just finalizing the break-up or trying to stop it from happening, you stayed silent to find out.

“I don’t like being touched, I don’t have a reason it just how I’ve been for a while, but I’m okay with touching others, it gives me control, the ability to stop if I’m uncomfortable without having to ask, if you want more physical contact I don’t mind giving you what you need, just let me be in control.”

It made some senses, but you wondered why he hadn’t been affectionate with you before if that was the case, so you question him

“Why haven’t you then, why haven’t you touched me, or held my hand.”

“ I wasn’t ready, and when I was I was, honestly scared.”

“Why?”

“As I said, I don’t know, I never really understand my emotions or where they come from. But I’m not scared now, I want to make you happy, I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”

You let out a breath that you were holding, finally allowing yourself to relax.

“ I don’t think you were selfish, and I’m sorry that I pushed you this far, and I don’t want to break up, I just wanted the pain to stop.”

Levi removed his hand from the wall and moved it behind your back pulling you into him.

“I am selfish but you need to stand up for yourself more, brat.” 

It was relieving to hear him call you that, it was like his way of saying that he loved you, that he would stay with you. It was his way of saying that he would be with you even if it was hard and that all you needed. 

A few weeks later and you can’t even remember what being touched starved felt like. You didn’t expect Levi to be so clingy, he’s almost always touching you.  At night he’s your big spoon, when he’s working he makes you sit on his lap, in public he either holds your hand or wraps his arm around your back or shoulder. There have been multiple occasions where he’ll whine, or as close as he can get to whining, for you to sit on his lap while he works

“Come here.”

“Baby I’m just as busy as you.”

“And, I said to come here, we can share the desk if you need to, just come here.”

You walk into his office just bringing him a cup of tea, but he pulls you into his lap before you can leave or protest.

“Thank you for the tea.”

“Are you going to let me go?”

“Of course not, you should know that by now.”

“Your right, I love you”

“ I love you too brat”

Of course, there are moments when you feel the need for his comforting touch but he feels uncomfortable, so you two compromised. Whenever this happens, he’ll allow you to play with the buttons on his shirt cuff, or put your hand in his jacket pocket. He feels guilty that he cant always give you the support you want, but you make sure to ensure him that he’s been doing more than enough.

[beauvibaby]

become a family – a.beauvillier

You hadn’t meant to keep Gia a secret from your childhood friend, really honestly, you two had just lost touch, and by the time you found out you were pregnant and her dad left, it felt wrong to reach out simply to tell him that. So you didn’t.

But when you found out you were relocating to New York, Long Island specifically. You knew you had no choice but to reach out, it only made sense, it felt wrong not too. “Mommy.” Gia whined, “play!” She demanded with a tilt of her chubby face, motioning to the Minnie Mouse tea set she had sprawled across your tiny unpacked apartment floor. “Just a second baby.” You assured her with a soft laugh, you read the message you had typed out, you let out a deep breath and pushed send before moving to join your daughter on the floor, forcing the thought of checking your phone to the back of your mind.

“Hey, Tito. I know we haven’t spoken in forever, but I’m moving to Long Island, with my daughter, I thought it’d be nice to meet up sometime. Hope all is well!”

When he got the notification from Instagram, both of you long having lost each other’s phone numbers, his heart stopped briefly, he scrambled to unlock his phone, Mat eyeing him suspiciously. Tito read the message at least five times before what you said had processed with him, he clicked on your profile, he hadn’t really paid much attention to your posts, and they were so far and few between, he scrolled to the first one that was baby related.

A picture of your sonogram in front of your crossed legs, your ready to pop stomach on display, “just me and you against the world baby girl.”

Tito’s heart clenched in his chest, guilt, curiosity and sadness running through him, he scrolled to the next, a simple black and white photo of Gia when she was born, the caption only being her date of birth. The next wasn’t for another six months or so, the two of you in a small apartment back home. “Gia and mommy’s first place!”

He went through them all quickly, up to the most recent, from just before you sent the message, you with Gia on your hip, the two and a half year old hanging on tightly to you with a giggle as you grinned at the camera, your keys hanging off your finger. “New beginnings…”

“Tito? Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mat finally spoke up, Tito nodded, “you remember, Y/N? Right?” He questioned his friend, Mat nodded, curiously. “She’s here.” Tito whispered, Mat raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean she's here?” “She moved to Long Island.”

***

You truthfully had forgotten to check your phone that night, you ended up putting Gia to bed late and you simply passed out right after. So when you woke, the memories came flooding back, you rushed to grab your phone, seeing a response on your Instagram.

“Long Island? A kid??? We definitely need to meet up, I’m dying to know everything. Missed you.”

Your heart returned to normal at his response, thankful that he was accepting and not shutting you out.

“Missed you too, you became a big shot! I’m taking Gia to a park down the street from my apartment today, I’ll send you the address if you want to come.”

That’s how you ended up here, pushing your daughter in the swing as she shrieked excitedly. Your laughter echoed through the remotely empty park, your attention solely on her as she had a nervous look on her face as the swing went a little higher, you slowed her down and she resumed her happy shouts. “Y/N.” Tito called, your head snapping in his direction, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as he looked over at you with a grin, his eyes flickering between you and Gia. “Hi.” You grinned right back at him as he walked over to you, he wrapped his arms around you in a hug as he reached you, Gia slowly coming to a stop in the child swing. “Oh god, it’s been too long.” You spoke, voice muffled by his jacket. “Definitely.” He agreed easily, pulling away as Gia began to fuss. You pulled her out of the swing and she clung to you, eyeing him suspiciously, she was always particularly wary about men. “Hello.” He spoke softly to her, giving her a soft wave. She smiled weakly, hiding her face in your neck. “Say hi, Gia.” You whispered to her, she lifted her head, looking over at Tito who was still smiling fondly at her, “hi, Gia.” She spoke, sending you both into a fit of laughter. “We’re working on it.” You assured him through your giggles, your daughter dramatically hiding again. “That’s ok.” Tito assured you, noticing all the ways Gia resembled you.

“Lunch?” She whispered to you, wiggling to get down, “yes, let’s go.” You led her over to the covered portion of the park, where you had left your things, Tito followed behind you, holding in a chuckle at the way Gia happily ran towards the table, swinging her arms for exaggeration. You sat her up on the bench, sitting beside her and Tito sat across from the two of you, watching you silently, “how have you been?” You started speaking, feeling your skin warm up under his gaze. “Good, yeah, I’ve been good.” He answered, “what about you? Been busy I see.” He joked, Gia glanced up at him as she took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Yeah, she keeps me on my toes, in the best possible way.” You smiled at your daughter, she happily minded her own business, clueless to half the stuff you two spoke about. You told him about her dad, only using his name so she wouldn’t be confused, already learning that she didn’t have the two parents that some of her other friends have.

Jesse, you never expected him to work out long term, but you never expected to get pregnant either. Long story short, you told him and you gave him the option to not be involved, but he had to be committed to being a co parent or nothing at all. He chose the latter, and never looked back.

“That’s-“ “it’s good, I think, he wouldn’t have been able to stay committed.” You cut Tito off, not needing the apology speech again. He nodded, moving past the subject, a large grin started etching across his face as Gia tugged on your sleeve. You leaned down and smiled as she whispered to the best of her ability, “share?” She asked you, Tito cocked his head to the side as you nodded and leaned away. Gia grabbed one of her fruit gummies and held it out to Tito. “Share.” She mumbled cutely, smiling shyly with her head tilted down a little, just like you do. Tito gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his heart, “thank you!” He took it from her and popped it in his mouth, earning a genuine laugh from her that made his heart sore. Already so in love with your daughter and wanting nothing but the best for both of you. She tried to offer him more but he sweetly told her no, and that she should eat her lunch, she listened and continued snacking away. “Has she been to a game?” Tito asked you with a wicked grin, “no, actually, I haven’t been to a game since I had her.” You admitted, cringing as he gaped at you, muttering in French under his breath.

“I’m getting you tickets.” He spoke, already pulling his phone out, “what? No, Tito.” You rushed feeling guilty,

“Yes.” He stuck his tongue out at you, typing away on his phone before asking for your phone number to send you the info. You gave it to him, knowing he would just be stubborn anyways. “Thank you. Really. She’ll have a blast, I’m sure.” You spoke as you opened your phone to look at what he sent you, “Anthony!” You scolded, Gia jumping in her spot next to you, “Y/N!” He mimicked, giggling at your daughter who glared at him. “That’s too much, those seats are–“ “Those seats are necessary.” He cut you off, “it’s final. No take backs.” He teased, much like he did when the two of you were younger. You sighed, shaking your head with a small smile, “fine, you better win, for her.” You told him, motioning to Gia who was getting sleepier by the second. “I should take her home.” You added as she yawned, her head resting against her arms on the table. He smiled at her eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, but I’ll see you at the game, right?” He raised an eyebrow as he stood up, you nodded, moving to give him a hug goodbye.

You watched with a bursting heart as he pushed some of Gia’s hair back, leaving a feathery light kiss to her full cheek, “bye, sweetheart.” He whispered, she whined, nestling further into herself. You wiped at your eyes once he was no longer facing you, the sight before you simply pulling on your heart strings.

***

You adjusted the jerseys on yours and Gia’s bodies, the both of you wearing jeans with them. She smiled at the excitement on your face, “do you remember mommy’s friend we met yesterday, Tito?” You questioned her as you walked hand in hand to the elevator, she looked up at you curiously, “we’re going to see him do his job, you get to watch them play hockey.” You explained to her, she simply smiled, all oblivious to what you meant, but she got excited because you were excited. “Teo.” She spoke, an attempt at his name, not very good but adorable nonetheless. You whipped your phone out, squatting down in the elevator, you started recording her, “who are we going to see?” You asked her, she shook her head happily, her pigtails bouncing around, “teo!” She said proudly, clapping for herself. “Tito, good job.” You praised her before ending the clip, you sent it to him with a thumbs up before continuing to acknowledge Gia’s babbling.

He responded quicker than you thought he would, “I guess I’ve grown on her.” He sent a heart afterwards, presumably putting his phone away for the night to prepare for the game.

Gia whined as she clung to you, terrified of all the people surrounding the both of you, “it’s alright honey.” You shushed her as you slowly inched forward in the line, she nodded against you, arms wrapped around your neck and legs trying to wrap around your waist. You thanked the person as they scanned your tickets, letting you two begin the journey to your overpriced glass side seats. You were relieved to see they had already begun warm ups so she would be distracted by them, once she adjusted to her surroundings you knew she’d be fine. “Look baby, see how fast they go.” You held her up, pointing out to the ice, she instantly became mesmerized by them whizzing by. You sighed in relief as you tried to spot the oh so familiar number 18. The two of you wearing jerseys with his name, something you knew he would get a charge out of, as long as you could remember, you would wear his number to his games. And now would be no different.

You spotted him at the same time he spotted you, a bright smile coming over his face as he flicked a puck up and caught it in his hand, skating over to you. He waved at you and Gia and she grinned, recognizing him and suddenly no longer being shy as she tapped on the glass with an amused smile. “Hi!” She shrieked, earning a laugh from him. He motioned the puck in his hand and you nodded, easily catching it as he tossed it over, handing it to Gia who stared at it in amazement, “good luck.” You mouthed, fist bumping the glass like you did as a teenager, he grinned and did the same before skating off, some of his friends nudging him and asking questions as you settled into your seat for the night.

Gia enjoyed the game and the loud sounds more than you thought she would, she adjusted quickly to the slamming of the boards, if anything, you think that may have been her favorite part.

Once the game was over, you were directed by Tito to tell one of the arena employees your name and they’d bring you down to see him. Much to your surprise, it worked, Gia was antsy to be let down to run around, and thankfully the person leading you through the huge building was a sweet young girl, probably your age, who was just absolutely loving Gia. “Just go to the right, and stop at the double doors.” She explained to you as the elevator came to a stop, “thank you.” You smiled, ushering Gia onto the concrete floor, her laughter echoing as she had some room to run around and burn up some of her energy. You were speed walking behind her just to keep up with her little legs, “baby, hang on!” You called, sighing as you rushed to grab her, just in time too as the doors opened and a couple of guys walked out, thankfully Tito was one of them. “Hey.” You breathed out, Gia looked over, “teo!” She ran over to him, putting her arms up, he looked at you for approval, “oh, of course.” You gave him a look, as if you wouldn’t trust him with your daughter. He easily lifted her up, smile widening when she wrapped her little arms around him. A stark difference to her greeting yesterday. “You must be, Y/N.” One of them spoke to you as Gia began babbling to Tito who nodded along enthusiastically. “I am.” You responded, shaking his hand, “Mat.” He grinned, you nodded knowingly, “I know, I follow the sport.” You teased him, earning a snicker from Tito as he walked over to you. “Hey.” He mumbled, giving you a one armed hug as Gia refused to leave his hold. You lightly tickled your daughter as she hid in his neck from all the other guys. “You played good.” You assured him, he smiled softly in return before introducing you to some of his teammates, laughing when you became all shy, staying close to him and your daughter. You answered all the questions they threw at you, not noticing Gia was drifting off on Tito’s shoulder until she was already out like a light.

***

It’s been about 6 weeks since that game, the season kicking into full gear, Tito traveling very often but still coming over to see you guys when he wasn’t on the road, and today, he was coming over for the first time in two weeks, and Gia had no idea. The relationship between them was more than you could ever ask for, even yours and Tito’s relationship had changed, it wasn’t even spoken, it just happened, one night as he was leaving after you put Gia down. You leaned up to kiss his cheek but he turned, not knowing what you were doing. You both jumped back, muttering apologies, but you kept your hands on his chest, slowly you inched back together, your lips coming together softly.

Then it became more often, sneaking in kisses here or there, I miss you texts, phone calls. And now, now you were bouncing with excitement just to see him.

Tito knocked on the door with a wide smile, excited to see his two favorite girls, that thought running through his head the whole trip back, in his mind, he wanted to call you his, but he knew he hadn't even spoken to you about what this was.

You rushed over to open the door, Gia only just waking from her nap, “hi.” You whispered immediately being engulfed in his arms, yours going to wrap around his neck. “I missed you.” He admitted into your hair, kissing the side of your head, “I missed you too.” You assured him, leaning away to meet his eyes, something went unspoken between you two as he pulled you in for a kiss. This one was different though, more powerful than the rest had been. You sighed against him, melting into his hold as you kissed him back slowly, not wanting to rush the moment. “Tito.” You went to speak after you pulled back to breathe, “yeah, I know.” He murmured, pecking your lips again before finally stepping all the way inside. “Is she sleeping?” He frowned, wanting to see her, “she’s starting to wake up, I heard her fussing.” You explained, neither of you making any effort to untangle yourselves. “Would you want to go out with me sometime? Like a date.” Tito asked, you nodded instantly, “can’t we just count all the times you’ve stayed over here late as dates?” You teased, instantly making him relax. “Well, then I think it’s fine if I do this, as much as I want.” He joked, kissing you again, squeezing your hips.

“I think so too.” You agreed, pulling away once you heard Gia climbing out of her bed. “Gia, I have a surprise!” You called, hearing her giggle and run down the hall, she saw you and then she saw Tito standing beside you. What neither of you expected was the word about to come out of her mouth, “daddy!” You nearly passed out right there, literally swaying and having to grip Tito for stability. She hugged his legs, looking up at him with a grin. “Tito.” He corrected her gently, lifting her up once you regained your composure. “Hi, sweet girl.” He tickled her sides as he hugged her tightly, her laughter filling the room, you smiled at the sight, hoping that one day this would become a reality.

****

“Rough day?” You questioned Gia as she dramatically huffed and sat at the kitchen counter beside her sister. “Yes.” Gia spoke with a sigh, you held back your laughter, knowing that 1st grade could just be oh so difficult, Tito walked in a moment after with her backpack and lunch box, smiling at you as you held the two month old to your chest. He walked over to the girls, laughing at the bored expression on Gia’s face as she watched her two year old sister munch away on her fruit, “hi princess.” Tito greeted Sadie with a kiss to the head, before making his way over to you, kissing your lips and whispering a hello before taking the baby from you. He smiled as Cade gripped his finger tightly, looking up at his dad with the bright blue eyes that they shared. “Daddy, can we go for ice cream tonight?” Gia pouted at him, using the look she got from you that made him cave immediately. He glanced at you, who nodded, “only because it’s friday.” He pointed an accusing finger at her, watching as her annoyed expression broke into a smile. “Thank you!” She sang happily bounding to her room upstairs. You laughed at the sigh he let out, “Aw, did you have a rough day too, honey?” You teased, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped his free arm around you, Sadie coughing for attention and succeeding as you both looked over to make sure she wasn’t choking. She only smiled, Tito’s smile as she continued to eat her blueberries slowly, you glared lightly at her as she giggled. “I did have a rough day, thanks for asking.” He mused.

“My wife didn’t text me once all day.” He pouted at you, “I’m so sorry, I assumed you would be busy working and all.” You laughed at him, cupping his stubbled jaw, “how ever did you survive?” You asked with fake concern. “I’m not really sure. But I did, and I lived long enough to pick her up from school, I’ve earned my ice cream.” He quipped.

taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo

[jjmaybankxpogue]

「ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴤʟᴜᴛ」 ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ ᴥ ᴋᴏᴏᴋ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

✰ Word Count: 1.1k+

✰ Genre: Smut

✰ Warnings: SMUT, Sexual punishment, arguing, hitting, daddy kink, not proofread whatsoever.

✰ Inspo: random 3am thoughts 

All characters have been aged up to 18!

ONESHOT

Not my gif

Being alone and horny is a dangerous thing especially with JJ...

I was sitting in JJ’s truck waiting for him to come back from getting condoms at the store. Not only was I alone but I was also horny, I went into my camera roll and looked for some of JJ’s nudes I had saved. I put my hand up my skirt; this time with no panties. I rubbed circles on my clit moaning and swiping through my pictures of JJ. When the feeling of pleasure became invasive over everything else my eyes fluttered shut, tilting my head back now fingering myself. “Y/N!” JJ yelled flinging the car door open. I quickly put an end to my movements yet still craving more. “What are you doing” JJ grumbled “I- I-” JJ took my phone “i know your password, will daddy have to see what you were looking at?” JJ said letting you answer “n-... yes actually” you said with your face turning into a smirk. JJ unlocked your phone to see the pictures of him “alright, i'll let it slide this one time” JJ said warning me in a dangerous tone “but you know i don't like you touching yourself without my permission” JJ said calmly. “Okay daddy” you said being extra submissive.

Once you got your empty estate JJ said “actually, no i won't let it slide” “what- why” “because you need to learn that you can't be acting like a slut when i don't say so'' JJ said with authority “bend over” JJ said but you were nervous he would get mad since you weren't wearing panties in a skirt in public “bend over. Now.” JJ demanded “n-no” i stuttered “what’d you just say to daddy?” JJ said dangerously “No. I said no.” I said figuring if you came this far the punishment couldn't get any worse. “Up to your room, Now.” JJ said following behind you up the stairs “where are your panties” JJ asked when you got in your room “in the truck” you lied “do i need to check that too?” JJ asked “no… I never put them on” I said feeling guilty “you can do that with me at home, but not in public. Remember” JJ scolded. You sat on your bed nodding “words” JJ said “Okay Daddy” I said “now bend over, how many times do you think you need?” JJ asked “20” you sighed in honesty. When JJ finished you had a couple tears streaming down your face. “Did you learn your lesson baby?” JJ asked “yes daddy” you mumbled.

“How about you put your pussy to good use and please me, okay princess” JJ said laying in your bed “okay” you said getting excited. JJ took his shirt off along with the rest of his clothes. You took your shirt off and got on top of him, lining yourself up with his erect cock. You used his precum to help you slide onto his dick. Once you started going up and down faster your skirt was flowing through the air flashing JJ every time you went down. “Take your skirt off, baby” JJ pleaded, I just took it off over my head making sure to not stop. JJ put his hands behind his head, and moaning as I was pleasing him; it was what I did best. JJ gripped your throat with his right hand moving his thumb up to your lip gently stroking it as you went slower “okay baby, that's enough” JJ said softly “but i want to make you cum first” I said “I- okay” You went faster and harder than you did before to ensure he would cum soon “fuck y/n” He moaned. You felt your walls tighten as you came close to your orgasm but denied it until JJ came. 

You laid down beside JJ on your bed “I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier, baby” JJ said with puppy dog eyes “It's ok” you smiled. “What do you want to do” JJ asked as a way to apologize “can I ride your thigh” JJ smirked at the question “of course you can” JJ said. You climbed on top of him and started grinding on him. The pleasure coming from your clit had never felt better “mhm” you let out a subtle moan triggering you to move a fair amount faster. JJ could cum at the sight of you riding his thigh but he wasn't going to let himself, he wanted you to enjoy this. You went the fastest you could go as you achieved your orgasm, JJ holding your hips as support when you calmed down. 

JJ flipped the two of you over with you now laying underneath him, playing with his fluffy blonde hair that dangled in front of your face. He whispered sweet little nothings in your ear sending shivers down your spine caused by his breath fanning over your ear and neck. He slowly put his cock inside you and began thrusting slowly and lovingly, Clearly wanting to make up to you for how he treated you earlier. “JJ, faster” I pouted, He quickly changed his attitude after hearing you beg. “Keep quiet” he demanded; you liked dom JJ better anyways.  He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, now hitting your g-spot everytime “oh fuck” you screamed: JJs hand quickly covered your mouth, you tried to say something but it was just inaudible mumbles. “What was that” JJ said lifting his hand “we don't have to be quiet, nobody’s here” “I told you too” JJ said letting out a groan after he had finished his sentence.

 I was biting my lip as hard as I could to hold back the moans I wished I could release. “Oh my god y/n” JJ moaned, tossing his head back in enjoyment. Then he looked back down at you “ohhh don’t you wish you could moan, you little slut” JJ teased, smirking. He could feel your walls tightening around his cock; he loved the feeling more than any other. “Cum on my cock like the slut that you are,” JJ groaned. His words alone were enough to send you off the deep end. The knot tied up tightly in your stomach had finally broken sending whole tidal waves of pleasure throughout your body, moaning his name so many times. This far into his orgasm he didn't even remember telling you to be quiet. His warm cum shooting into you like bullets out of a gun. “My god y/n you're the best i've ever had” JJ said breathing heavily, he toppled down onto the bed laying beside you. “Always will be” you said looking deep into his sky blue eyes before resting your head on his chest. JJ ran his finger through your silky smooth hair, slowly shutting his eyes and falling asleep in that position with you.

REQUESTS

[butwhyduh]

I've just finished reading your Christmas bat boys series and I love them all 🥺🥺! I don't want to be greedy but could you write morning/boxing day breakfast scene for the boys(TM)? I'd love that! If not then that's fine too. You've already provided us with quality content 👌

💕💕

So I’m from the US and we usually don’t celebrate Boxing Day. So I’ll probably do something wrong but that’s okay. That’s how Americans do holidays anyways. But I refuse to believe Alfred Pennyworth wouldn’t celebrate for one second. So I firmly believe this was the day that most of the kids and even Bruce would indulge Alfred and do what he wanted.

When they were kids it was enough to simply put the sweets down and take a proper post Christmas shower. Jason Todd had been incredibly excited to learn about Boxing Day because he thought it was a family fight day. Uh, yeah, good food and watching some boxing was nice too, he had guessed. Not a lot was certain, but sausage rolls and some kind of sports game on Boxing Day was one of them in the Wayne’s household.

Damian

You woke up to the familiar scent of Damian. But he wasn’t within arms reach. Where was he? How did you get up in his room anyways? You sat up to see him sleeping on the floor. Poor guy. It couldn’t be comfortable, could it? You tried to climb out of bed but the soft rustle of the sheets woke Damian. He sat up quickly only to relax.

“Morning,” you said.

“Good morning. How did you sleep last night?”

“Good. You didn’t have to sleep on the floor. That looks uncomfortable,” you said feeling guilty.

“It’s alright. I’ve slept in worse places,” Damian said and you were reminded of his child soldier past. You frowned. “It’s truly fine, beloved. Let’s get down to breakfast.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. You threw on one of his sweaters and went down. Alfred was in the kitchen this morning and had a platter piled high with some sort of pastry that he was bringing to the breakfast nook. You and Damian slid into the seats and you looked at the beautiful white grounds of Wayne Manor through the large viewing window.

“Would you like coffee, tea, juice, hot cocoa,” Alfred asked you both before bringing your drink. It was nice to be the first up. Alfred brought Damian curried tofu scramble and fried mushrooms and tomatoes. (You too if you are vegan/vegetarian).

Bruce came in the room and sat across from Damian. It was almost funny to see the billionaire in sleep pajamas. A large cup of coffee was placed before him and he had a steaming plate of everything Damian ate plus sausage rolls and a protein shake. It was quiet for a few minutes.

“You slept on the floor last night,” Bruce said quietly as he read the news on a tablet. He rolled his eyes at the article “Local Reporter Clark Kent gets Pictures of Superman in action.”

“Yes. All night, father. You knew that,” Damian said with a bored hint of annoyance as he ate.

“Good. If either of you needs to speak to an adult in the matter of love or relationships, I am well acquainted with several child psychologists as well as a number of medical doctors,” He said casually. You almost choked on your food before taking a large gulp of your drink.

“Father. Not at breakfast,” Damian chided. His ears had a soft redness and he pointedly looked out the window instead of at either you or Bruce. You stared at your plate.

“I think I hear Jason awake. I’d better catch him before he leaves. Excuse me,” Bruce said before leaving.

“Sorry. He’s.... awkward. He thinks he needs to teach us about sexual education. A little late,” Damian said with a laugh.

“A little late? Oh,” you said. Damian quickly looked at you.

“Not that way. We’ve just, we learned in school. Not that I’ve- I think someone’s coming in here,” Damian said grateful for the distraction.

Dick and his fiancé walked in. He had his hand around her waist and the pair seemed glued together. They sat down at the same time with a giggle. They probably hadn’t even noticed you both there.

“Are you done?” Damian asked and you nodded. You couldn’t handle watching them.

You both went upstairs to his room again. Damian awkwardly sat on the bed.

“You know,” you started. Your face felt flush. “If you did want to talk about it, I’d be here.”

“Oh. Do you mean,” he started to ask.

“Sex. Yeah. It’s fine if you don’t. Seriously. Just saying...” you trailed off. He looked at you intensely. When Damian Wayne was thinking hard on something, his face became completely imperceivable.

“Maybe. Soon?” He said hopefully. You nodded. “Wanna watch a movie? You’ve got to go home in a few hours.”

“Yeah sounds great.”

Dick

You woke up feeling like a puzzle piece. An arm was thrown across your back and legs wrapped in yours as you laid on Dick’s chest. His heartbeat was steady in your ears. You couldn’t get much closer to him if you tried. You moved to get up because the bathroom was calling your name.

“Baby,” he groaned and wrapped his other arm tightly around you. You tried to pull out while shushing him back to sleep. There was no way you could pry yourself from his grasp unless he wanted you to with his incredible grip strength. “Stay with me,” Dick begged. “Just a little more.”

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” you protested and he finally let you go with a big pout.

When you came back, his rough fingers pulled you by your bare thighs back in bed. His dress shirt and panties weren’t exactly the warmest clothing. You landed on him with a giggle. Dick quickly wrapped you both back in the blanket.

“Good morning, fiancé,” he said softly. His fingers traced soft circles on your back.

“Fiancée,” you said back with a smile. Dick kiss you softly. Morning breath and all. He finally pulled away.

“It’s Boxing Day. Alfred’s sausage rolls. Are you hungry,” he said finally releasing you.

“Yeah. A little. Especially after last night,” you said getting up and finding some clothing.

“I know, right,” Dick said and his face was basically this emoji 😏. You rolled you eyes and slipped on his sweater and a pair of sweatpants.

Dick couldn’t keep his hands off of you. He held your hip while walking downstairs and laced his fingers in yours as you ate breakfast. His plate was piled high with the pastry and he drank a green protein shake with it. Was there anyone else in the room with you? Maybe? Who knows? Who cares?

After breakfast you both said goodbye to his family before leaving back to Bludhaven. You and Dick stayed in bed for a good portion of the afternoon and when he went on patrol, he looked at you wistfully before leaving.

Tim

Tim could sleep through a hurricane in a canoe. He missed a lot of sleep and when he finally laid on his pillows, lights out. He didn’t move. He didn’t snore. And God hisself couldn’t wake this man before at least 5 hours had passed.

And when he woke up on the day after Christmas, he was incredibly disoriented after getting 9 hours of sleep. He vaguely felt someone laying in his chest and he looked down. Oh yeah, you. He slept so hard, he forgot he had a girlfriend for 2 minutes. He would never tell you that.

“Sunshine,” he said running his fingers on your arm. “Wake up.”

You slowly stirred to look at him. You laughed instantly. His hair stuck up everywhere. Probably a side effect of having his face between your legs last night. He looked at you confused.

“You need a shower before you do anything, Timbo,” you said with a smile.

“Back at you. Wanna join me,” he asked with a eyebrow wag.

“I think I’ll pass with all your family awake. Last night was pushing it,” you said, giving him a kiss. He leaned towards your face to continue the kiss as you pulled back. His hands held your hips but released them easily when you pulled away. He had a pout on his lips but got up to shower anyways. You both got ready before going downstairs.

Alfred slid a cup of coffee in Tim’s hand before you even made it to the breakfast nook. You poured a large one for yourself after seeing the scene. Dick and his fiancé were half an inch from making out at the table. It was too early for this madness.

Tim gave you a knowing look. He certainly wasn’t the only one getting play in his childhood room last night. You rolled your eyes.

Tim grabbed a few pastries and a protein shake. It was funny the first time you learned he drank them religiously. He didn’t look the type. Dick on the other hand... But Tim was naturally thin and couldn’t hold weight on his body to save his life. A protein shake at every meal helped replace the calories he lost through work, lack of sleep, and his insanely fast metabolism.

Tim’s phone rang. No surprise there. You were honestly surprised that Tim’s phone hadn’t rung earlier or last night. He sighed and answered it. His breakfast was probably going to be interrupted. He talked for a few minutes before hanging up.

“Sunshine,” he started.

“You’re busy, Wayne Enterprise. Have to leave soon,” you guessed. He looked regretful.

“Yeah. I’ll make it up to you tonight. I’ll call you a car when you’re ready to leave. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Tim said. He quickly shoved food in his mouth and gulped down his coffee. “I’ve got to go.”

Jason

You woke up frozen. You were not under any blankets and tbh your tits were like icy. Your stomach was really warm tho. You looked down to see Jason’s head between your bare breasts and his body slotted between your legs. He clung on you like a monkey and gently snored. The blankets were on the floor. The activities of the night before had you flushing. Yeah that had been fun.

You ran your fingers through his hair to wake him gently. You didn’t want to jerk him awake but you were frozen. Jason slowly stirred and rubbed his face into your bare skin before groaning.

“Fuck it’s cold,” he grumbled, wrapping himself tighter around your body.

“Get up. I’m cold,” you said and he begrudgingly released you. He stood up and you realized that you both were completely naked. He grabbed some sweatpants and threw them on before throwing the blanket on you. You snuggled in the warm fabric. You were lulled back to sleep for a few more minutes.

You woke up alone. There was a note on the dresser.

Get dressed and come downstairs to the breakfast nook Princess- Jay

You grabbed one of his black sweaters and threw it on with your pants you wore the night before. You saw Bruce slide Jason the keys and he confirmed it with you afterwards. Your mind couldn’t process that.

Jason pulled you to the breakfast nook. Dick and his new fiancé were leaving and Tim was rushing out with business. His girlfriend left shortly after. Bruce, of course, had already started working on business or whatever mysterious stuff he always did.

Jason ate every single sausage roll and the rest of the vegetables that you didn’t eat. Alfred came and sat at the table with you both. Usually not what he would do but Jason always insisted. The older man nursed a cup of coffee and you all looked out the large viewing window. You couldn’t get over how huge the place was.

“Alfred, can you tell me stories about Jason when he was a kid?” You asked and Alfred smiled.

“I have many of Master Jason’s childhood. He was always a boisterous lad. Still is I suppose,” Alfred said taking a sip of his drink. Jason smiled. He had an arm thrown over your shoulder.

“When he was 14, Jason tried to climb the chandeliers in the front entry, as Master Richard had many times. Well, Jason was probably 20 lbs heavier than Richard even at that age. The chandelier came down with a resounding bang. Jason had broken a toe. This was the morning before a gala at the Manor. Master Bruce was far from pleased,” Alfred said. You laughed.

“The chandelier got reenforced and now Dick can swing on it to his heart content. I’ll leave the acrobats to him though,” Jason said with a laugh.

“I wish I could have seen it,” you laughed.

Alfred sat with you both for the better part of an hour, just telling funny stories about the boys and Bruce. Alfred stood up.

“I really do have work to do if I hope to catch the game this afternoon. I hope you both understand. But one last thing before you go, Master Jason. Bruce has been talking about leaving you the penthouse for years. He just needed a push to finally give it to you. I hope you both enjoy it,” Alfred said before leaving the room.

“Let’s, uh, let’s get going,” Jason said abruptly. He was feeling uncomfortable emotions. It wasn’t the first time and you indulged him without asking any questions before leaving.

Bruce

He had a pounding headache when he woke up. He was hung over. He had impeccable hearing and the noises from 3 of his 4 sons rooms (as Duke and Cass had patrolled after the party) had him finding a bottle of whiskey. Was Jason purposefully being loud? At least Damian’s room was quiet. Bruce couldn’t handle that. Of course that didn’t guarantee anything. But he was willing to put up with it so that his boys could be home. But yeah, sound proofing on their bedrooms was a priority. Jesus Jason, wtf?

Giving Jason the penthouse was not a plan. But Bruce was grateful because the Jason’s Christmas list had been “gun.”

Dick’s list was “a break.” Bruce got him a pair of jet skis. That would be a good distraction.

Tim had asked for “a day off.” Bruce gave him tickets for 2 to Hvar, Croatia in January for 2 full weeks in a snowy cabin.

Damian had asked for a certain set of Wakizashi swords. He got the swords.

Alfred asked for a pasta maker and Bruce bought him a ticket to Italy for a week to pick one up.

Also: 3 days after Christmas, Tim recieved a camouflage gun themed snack gift basket with the card reading “duck next time-Jay”

[hercleverboy]

time

spencer reid x reader 

summary ↠ spencer learns the truth about why the reader left the team so suddenly during his post-prison showdown with cat adams.

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ cancer, main character death, crying, pleading someone not to die, please do not read if these are triggering for you.

word count ↠ 3.6k

“Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder.”

Breast cancer had a history in Y/N’s family. Her grandmother had died from it, and it seemingly skipped her mothers generation. Y/N was not so lucky.

When the doctor told her, she stared blankly she’d at the wall. He was talking at her but she only seemed to pick up on parts of what he was saying.

“Breast cancer”, “stage 4”, “has unfortunately spread to other parts of your body,” “eight months if you’re lucky”

Lucky?

If she’s lucky?

The doctor sent her on her way after discussing some treatments with her. He told her what the side effects of those treatments were going to be, and she’d shaken her head. The doctor looked shocked, but Y/N had just given him a small smile. If she was going to die, she was going to spend her time doing everything she wanted to, not being poked and prodded and given treatments that were unlikely to work anyway.

Initially, she didn’t tell anyone at the BAU. She certainly didn’t tell Spencer, who she’d been crushing on for years at that point. They were best friends, they had been since she started all those years ago, and they were always there for one another. She was always too nervous to tell him how she felt, but it’s funny how finding out your days are numbered will encourage you to do things you never thought you’d have the courage to. So one night at the end of the work day, when the bullpen was empty apart from her and the resident genius, she threw caution to the wind and walked right up to his desk.

He grinned at her as she approached. “Hey, Y/N. Did you want to grab something to eat before you head home? There’s that new Chinese place a few streets over-“ He was interrupted by her saying three words he never thought she’d say to him.

“I love you.”

The silence that followed was suffocating.

“You what?” He manages to get out, his mind was spinning.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry, you just have to know.”

“Y/N I don’t know what to say I-“ He stumbled over his words, trying to find the right ones. Truthfully, he was in love with her too. Though his own insecurities and stupid thoughts always got in the way. Y/N took his lack of response to mean that he didn’t feel the same, and so she took a deep breath and smiled at him reassuringly. Before he could tell her that he was very sure he loved her too, she was gone, the bullpen’s doors closing gently behind her.

Y/N felt the weight lifted off her shoulders. Despite her thinking Spencer didn’t return her affection, she still felt the sweetest relief imaginable. Because fuck it, if she was going to die she’d be damned If she did so without telling Spencer Reid how much she loved him.

And now he knew.

It brought her a sense of peace.

She told Hotch, but that’s only because she had to give him a real reason as to why she was leaving, after he heard the lie she’d fed the team.

“I’ve been offered a job in the orginised crime unit, I just can’t turn it down.”

“Y/N, can I speak with you?” He’d asked after she’d announced to the team that she was leaving. He led her to his office, closing the door behind her. “I’ll get straight to the point. There is no new job with the orginised crime unit, I would’ve been notified if you’d been offered a new position. What’s going on?”

She couldn’t lie to him, she knew that much. So she took a deep breath and spoke. “I’m terminally ill, sir. I haven’t got long left. I would like to live what is left of my life.” Hotch was understating. He didn’t show it, always very good at masking his emotions, but his heart was broken. He’d even hugged her, telling her what a pleasure it was to work alongside her, how the world would suffer greatly from the loss of her kind heart and unmatched intelligence.

On her last shift, which was a paperwork day thankfully, the team got together and threw her a little in-office going away party. Y/N felt guilty about not telling her friends, her family, the real reason she was leaving but they shouldn’t have to bear that burden, they shouldn’t have to carry around the guilt. And she didn’t want their pity or worry either. Hotch had been surprised at how soon she’d wanted to leave the BAU after telling him of her condition, but she told him it was because she wanted the team to remember her how she was. Strong and confident. She didn’t want to them to see her so weak and vulnerable, how she knew this disease would reduce her to.

JJ found out that day, unintentionally. After laughing and eating some cake with the team, Y/N felt incredibly nauseous (she found she was struggling to keep food down these days), so she excused herself to the bathroom, and was violently sick in the toilet of one of the stalls. JJ had followed her in, noticing how she’d barely touched her cake earlier and that she looked awfully pale as well.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” She asked, opening up the stall door behind Y/N, who was panting over the toilet bowl.

“I’m fine, JJ. I promise.” She smiled weakly but JJ wasn’t buying it. The two women had become best friends over their time in the bureau, almost like sisters.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” JJ joked as Y/N stood up on shaky legs.

“No, I’m not pregnant Jayje.” Y/N couldn’t look her best friend in the eye, tears filling her eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’ll be okay, what’s wrong?” JJ’s motherly tone made Y/N wanted to laugh but she couldn’t force one out if she tried. Y/N’s lack of response frightened JJ.

“Y/N, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong, please.” She begged.

“I’m sick, JJ.”

It didn’t take the blonde long to figure out that she didn’t mean a common cold. Tears filled JJ’s eyes.

“I haven’t got a lot of time Jayje.” Y/N cried, and JJ began to sob, pulling Y/N into a tight hug.

“Well there are treatments right? Chemotherapy or something? Something has to work.” JJ was begging, praying that there was something. Her heart shattered all over again when Y/N shook her head.

“I won’t spend the rest of my time hooked up to countless machines receiving treatments that may or may not work. I don’t want to fight this. I’m already so tired, I just want to go peacefully when the time comes. Please?”

JJ just cried harder. She understood Y/N had already made peace with her fate.

After calming down slightly, Y/N pulled back, holding JJ by her shoulders. “You can’t tell anyone. Only you and Hotch know. I won’t burden anyone else with this, okay?”

“Y/N, this isn’t a burden. You’re sick. The team deserve to know, they deserve their turn to say goodbye.” JJ tried to convince her.

“Please. You can’t say a thing. I know they deserve that but god I can’t have them all pitying me. Garcia will buy me gift baskets to compensate, Derek won’t know what to do with himself so he’ll make jokes, and Spencer, god Spence will go into overdrive trying to fix me. I just want to live out my days peacefully, please let me have that Jayje.” She begged, and the blonde nodded.

“I understand, Y/N. But Spence.. he’s one of your best friends. He has been for years now. I know you told him you love him and he didn’t say it back but.. this- this will kill him.” She whispered the last part and Y/N looked away as she fought to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks.

“I know. And I’m sorry if it’s selfish but I’m dying, I think I’m allowed to be a little selfish.” Her attempt at a joke was met with a stern look from JJ.

5 months after Y/N left the BAU, Spencer ended up in trouble in Mexico, and before anyone could do anything he was awaiting trial in a prison cell. He had lot of time to think over the three months spent behind bars, staring at blank walls, fighting to survive long enough for the team to prove his innocence. Every night he slept in his bed he thought of Y/N.

How much he missed his best friend.

How much he loved her still.

He realised how stupid he’d been to let her get away. He regretted not going after her that day in the bullpen and promising her he felt the same way she did. He promised himself the moment he got out he would tell her how he felt, and they could make up for the time they’d lost. He yearned to see her, and If prison taught him anything, it was that time was precious. And he wanted to spend all of his time with her.

When JJ turned up to the prison one day, he’d never felt a relief quite like it.

“We’re taking you home.”

He was relieved that now he could focus on finding his mother, and once that was done he could prioritise Y/N. He would tell her how he felt, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, no time to waste. He could tell her the words he’d thought a thousands times of the last three months.

I love you. So much.

He just had to win one final time, play Cat Adams stupid game and then everything he’d ever wanted would be his. He could live the life he’d dreamed of when he was in prison, Y/N by his side.

“Even if you are pregnant the baby’s not mine.” Spencer was mortified that she was really trying to persuade him that her baby was his, let alone that she was even pregnant in the first place.

Cat clicked her tongue. “Except for the part where it is.”

“That’s preposterous, you’ve been in prison. And besides we’ve never-“

“So have you, and I know we never...” She trailed off, that smirk on her lips. “Ask me how I did it.”

Spencer was really losing his patience. He didn’t care for, nor did he want to play Cat’s little game anymore.

“Come on, ask me.”

“How did you do it?”

“I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time.” Cat smiled at the look of confusion on Spencer’s face. “I told her to pretend to be Maeve.”

That hurt Spencer more than it should’ve. 4 years since the tragic death of his girlfriend, and the wounds were still fresh as anything. Of course Cat knew about Maeve.

“But perhaps it would’ve worked better if I’d told her to pretend to be Y/N, the best friend that you’ve always loved but never told her. It’s a shame that you might never get the chance now.” Cat snarled.

“What do you mean I’ll never get the chance?”

“Oh my god. You don’t know, do you?” Cat teased, and Spencer gripped the edge of the table so harshly his knuckles turned white.

“Know what, Cat?”

“Dear little Y/N has terminal cancer. She was given around eight months to live, from what I know. That would mean-“ She theatrically looked at Spencer’s watch that sat on her wrist. “Any day now, if my timings right.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” Cat’s head cocked to the side. This wasn’t part of her original plan, but any opportunity to mess with Spencer even more was not to be missed.

“Yes you are, that what you do.” Spencer seethed, the words like venom on his tongue.

“I’m not. Just ask blondie in there.” Cat pointed to the double sided mirror. “She’ll tell you. It is her that Y/N chose to confide in, after all.” She teased.

Spencer shot up from table with loud bang and stalked out the room, slamming open the door to where a gobsmacked JJ stood.

“Is it true?” Spencer asked, his tone cold and unforgiving.

“Spence..”

“JJ! I asked if it was true?” He shouted, slamming his hand on the wall next to them. JJ flinched, and for the first time in their friendship JJ was afraid of the man in front of her.

“Yes.” Her voice was small.

He whipped out his phone, calling Garcia. “Garcia I need you to look up Y/N Y/L/N’s medical records.”

“Our Y/N Y/L/N? Why?” The chipper woman replied, confused.

“Just please, Garcia!” Spencer shouted desperately.

“Okay okay, I’m looking and everything seems fine- oh wait- what’s this?” Garcia murmured to herself as she clicked through the files, her eyes widening and tears forming in them as she gasped. “She’s sick? W-why didn’t she tell us? Oh my god.”

“She’s alive, right? Oh god please tell me she’s alive?” Spencer begged.

“She’s alive, but she was admitted to the hospital 2 weeks ago after she collapsed. They’re keeping her in the hospital, just trying to make her comfortable- oh god I can’t read anymore.” Garcia was sobbing down the line and JJ had a hand clasped over her mouth to keep her own sobs at bay.

Spencer sobbed too, for the first time since he went to prison. Everything seemed to hit him at once.

After a moment, JJ’s trembling voice reached his ears. “Spence, I know this is a lot to take in but if you want to find out where your mother is you’ve got to carry on.”

He’s knew she was right, but he just glared at her coldly. “How long have you known?”

“Since she left.” JJ cried. “I’m so sorry, but she begged me not to tell you, or anyone else for that matter. How could I deny her that?”

Spencer understood it wasn’t JJ’s fault but he was still so angry. The anger burned within him like a wildfire and he didn’t posses the restraint to put it out. “There was no new job in the organised crime unit, was there?”

“No.”

“Fuck!” Spencer shouted, pushing some files that sat on the table onto the floor with a loud crash as he cried.

“Spence-“ JJ attempted to comfort him but he was downright inconsolable.

“You know she told me she loved me. Before she left.” Spencer spoke quickly and fiercely, though the tears trembling down his cheeks told a different story. He finally looked JJ in the eye, and she nodded. “I didn’t get to tell her I love her but I do JJ, god I do and now I’m gonna lose her.” He let out a heartbroken cry and JJ felt so guilty.

“Spence you have to go back in there and win her little game. Save your mother, and then you can worry about Y/N. Okay?” JJ tried, and this time it seemed the words sunk into him.

Spencer hated that she was right. So with a sniffle, he wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeves of his blazer, before taking a deep breath and returning to the room with Cat, one even more determined to win.

After winning the battle against Cat, Spencer escorted his mother back to the sanitarium. As soon as she was safe and settled, Spencer was immediately on the phone with Garcia.

“Garcia, which hospital is Y/N at?”

Once he got the address he was there in minutes.

He sped up to the front desk, panting as he spoke. “Hi, I’m here to see Y/N Y/L/N.”

The receptionist nodded, typing away on her computer. Spencer stood as he waited to hear what room she was in, tapping his foot impatiently on the white floorboards. A doctor who had been standing near the desk stepped towards him, and he looked him as she approached. “Sorry sir, Did you say you’re here to see Y/N Y/L/N?”

Spencer turned to her, his voice desperate. He prayed he wasn’t too late. “Yes, yes.”

The doctor looked at him with a small smile. She looked him up and down, coming to a conclusion. “Are you Dr Spencer Reid?”

Spencer gulped, unsure what to say. “Yes. How did you know?”

“Y/N- She talks about you, when she’s in between consciousness. She showed me pictures a few weeks ago, told me all about the man she loved who she was so sure didn’t love her back. She’ll be so glad to see you.”

He wanted to smile at the information but he felt so sick that he couldn’t force his lips up into even a grimace. “How is she?” He dared to ask.

“I’m sorry, Dr Reid. Y/N is incredibly ill. We’re just trying to make her as comfortable as we can, I’m afraid it won’t be long now. Follow me, she could use your company.”

His heart broke but he followed her, attempting not to breakdown in a fit of cries.

When he saw her his heart broke even more. Her cheeks were sullen and she was thinner than he remembered. But she was still so beautiful to him. He thanked the doctor and pulled up a chair next to her, taking one of her frail hands in his. She turned to look at him, flashing a weak smile.

“Spencer? Are you really here?”

“Yes sweetheart. And I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” He choked out, attempting to smile for her sake.

She nodded, and he brought his lips to her hand to place a gentle kiss on it.

“I’ve missed you.” She whimpered out. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve missed you too.” He felt like breaking down but he had to be strong for her. “Y/N, I have to tell you, if this is the last chance I get I- I love you. I always have done. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all those months ago. I’m here now, but I’m too late.” He sobbed.

“Hey, hey. . It’s okay. It was a privilege to love you, Spencer Reid.” She smiled, moving her frail hands up to cup his face. It made him sob harder.

“I wish we had more time.” He cried, pressing his forehead to hers.

“I know, me too.”

They talked for the whole evening, and then, when she got too exhausted to continue conversation, he pulled out her favourite book from his satchel. He read to her, listening to the sound of her shallow breathing.

The team visited, all too shocked to say much, but they came to say goodbye. Y/N was barely conscious enough to realise what was going on, but she still managed to give the team a weak smile and a whispered, “Love you guys.”

JJ and Garcia had to leave the room so they wouldn’t collapse in tears front of her.

When the heart monitor went flat in the early hours of the next morning, that loud blaring sound filling Spencer’s ears, his sobs started again as he rested his forehead on her still chest.

“Please. Please don’t go. Come back, I love you.” Spencer begged, his shoulders moving with the sobs that wracked through him. He’d never felt so utterly heartbroken. Not when he watched his father leave, not when he saw his mother’s condition worsen, not even when Maeve was killed right in front of him. None of that compared to how his chest burned and his throat was sore from the sobs that ripped from him, and the tears that relentlessly cascaded down his cheeks.

“Please, baby. Look at me. Let me see them gorgeous eyes, yeah?” He begged, he prayed to every god there ever was that she’d look at him again with those beautiful orbs that he’d fallen so In love with. Those stunning eyes that would never open again.

The doctor, with tears in her own eyes at the scene before her, moved to turn the heart monitor off, the obnoxious withstanding beep cutting off. It made Spencer’s head ache.

Spencer clutched Y/N’s hand desperately to his chest, his head resting on her chest as he cried. He squeezed her hand, and some foolish part of him almost believed that if he squeezed hard enough he’d wake up from whatever nightmare this was. He twisted his eyelids shut and dreamed. He dreamed of waking up next to Y/N, in a bed that they shared, wedding bands on their fingers and their children’s footsteps and laughter filling their home. He dreamed of a life with her, of raising a family with her. He dreamed of the life she deserved.

He wanted to scream. How was this fair? How were murderers and serial rapists walking around with no consequence but people like Y/N had their lives ripped from them?

It was unjust.

But the world was cruel, Spencer knew. It was cruel and it was cold and it was unforgiving.

He raised his head from her chest, using the hand that wasn’t holding hers to place his hand on her cheek. He pushed forward, placing a gentle kiss on her cold and lifeless lips.

it was a goodbye. one that needn’t be spoken.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll honour you for the rest of my life, I promise.”

Spencer Reid never recovered from losing Y/N Y/L/N.

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms: part 1

Intro <-

Yang:So how we doin this? Drawing straws or... well we actually don’t have straws here so-

Weiss:It’s obvious that you wanna go first.

Blake:Extremely obvious.

Ruby:All over your face.

Yang:Hey now, don’t call me out like that! We all have so much to sort out here. I don’t even know where to begin. Differences could start and stop anywhere for all we really know.

Blake:From what it seems, Beacon itself would have one or two minor changes, but the real changes start after the fall. At least, for you three that is.

Weiss:You saying you’re different?

Blake:Unless you three started going on dates with Jaune at Beacon, then yes, I’m different.

RWY:(They’ve been together that long!?)

Yang:Okay, starting from Beacon...nothing really stands out too much. Jaune and I were just friends. *cringes* Back then, a certain faunus caught my eye.

Blake:Ah...right. I guess that tracks in practically every universe.

RW:Oh yeah it does. You two are joined at the hip.

Yang:Haha, really? Glad to hear it. My Blake and I are best buds! Remnant has never seen such a dynamic duo! Can’t say it didn’t take a lot of time effort after a rough patch. We actually dated in my world.

Blake:Same.

Yang:What!? How long?

Blake:I don’t know, it was pretty on again off again.

Yang:Well for me it was after Haven. Both of us had gotten pretty serious. All the growing we’ve done together and apart had brought us closer. However, Adam unintentionally put a wedge between us. His attempt to change and the problems that came with it were-

Yang stopped midway and saw the confused faces of her otherworldly teammates. They were shocked, confused even. Especially Blake, who looked the most shocked of all.

Yang:Umm did I say something odd?

Blake:Adam, he...isn’t dead?

Yang:Oh, well I guess that’s the start of the major changes then. Blake and I fought Adam at Argus. Stabbed him through the chest and watched him fall down rocks into a river.

Ruby:That lines you with my world. Dude died that day. Like any normal person should.

Yang:Well Adam is anything but fucking normal. Man has the craziest luck. A young women, the winter maiden in fact, she saved his life. She’s not exactly normal either. The maiden, Jacquelyn, ended up sticking by him to see if she could change his ways. This naturally meant we’d run into them again. And that’s how things fell apart.

Blake:What do you mean?

Yang:You were fully committed to seeing if Adam could actually change. I wasn’t, so we constantly butted heads in any situation involving him. Then we would fight about things that had nothing to do with at all. Eventually, we broke it off. We remained on decent terms but I was pretty heartbroken about the disconnect. Enter our lovable blonde idiot. Jaune did everything in his power to cheer me up.

Weiss:Sounds like him. Always such a bleeding heart. That boy just can’t help himself. Let me guess, his kindness and concern made you feel all warm and fuzzy?

Yang:Hehe, guilty. It was more of his willingness to laugh at my puns. Jaune’s always been interesting to talk to. He tries to act cool and calm even though he’s terrible at it, then comes clean right after. Before I knew it I was telling him things I hadn’t talked about with people before. I could tell he looked at me like most guys do, but also genuinely wanted to listen to me. Talk about playing unfair; he got defenseless. Suddenly I was smiling again. Anytime with him was time well spent. Then one day, I kissed him.

Ruby:Happily ever after?

Yang:Not even close! Hahaha!

Weiss:Why do you sound proud?

Yang:It’s funny looking back at it to a certain degree. Gods, I was such a brat. More than a few fights are on me. Between Blake, Raven, and other experiences, my insecurities flared up in ugly ways over nothing. It even got us to break up too. I was officially done with dating. My Ruby was out in an uncomfortable position.

Ruby:I bet! I’d never want you two fighting. Especially in my world. Picking between the person I love and my sister!? I don’t know what will happen.

Yang:I kinda do. *sets up* You’d start dating Jaune because you’ve looked at him since Beacon. The two of you would confide in each other and share a special kind of love, but it would be bittersweet. All because your sister still pines for him and never met to make him leave, and Jaune never says it, but he hates how things fell apart. He’s faithful to you and would never do you wrong, a guy to truly cherish. So... you let him go. Watch him walk back to your sister like you asked, because my happiness was worth that much to you.

Ruby:....

Yang: In my world at least. Honestly it’s still the most amazing thing I’ve seen you do. We must’ve cried over that conversation for hours. I felt so guilty and you only smiled, hugging me tight. Jaune and I had a few more stumbles. Nothing serious though. Eventually we moved in together when the world was saved. You and Oscar got together officially which made me happy. Even made our weddings a competition of who’d make dad bawl his eyes out the most. You won by the way; Raven came back into our family and into dad’s arms. Last but not least I had a baby. Yujin Xiao Long, my fucking pride and joy from above.

Weiss:Wow, that’s a lot.

Blake:What am I doing? Did I marry Sun?

Yang:Yep. You and blondes Blake, I tell ya.

Weiss:Hold the phone! Who am I with!?

Yang:Pretty sure you’re technically single. Buuuut, Neo and your have gotten pretty friendly from what I managed to interrogate out of you.

Weiss:That’s, highly unexpected. For a number of reasons.

Yang:Better believe it. Besides Cinder, a few crazies, and Salem, a few people made something of themselves. Dying sucks after all.

Ruby:You have a dead Cinder?

WBY: You don’t?

Ruby:*crosses arms* Hmph, I’ll wait my turn. Yang, you said you’re the only mother from our team. If Blake and I have been married for quite some time then what, we don’t want kids?

The joyful sunshine from Yang slipped into grayer skies. Her smile faded and it increasingly got harder to look at this Ruby without thinking of her own.

Yang:Are you sure that’s something you wanna know? I’ll tell you, but I didn’t want to bring down the mood with the problems where I from.

Blake:Problems? How big of a problem.

Yang:The biggest we’ve faced. It’s...a lot.

Ruby:Well we’ve listened this far. *takes hand* Lay it on us.

Yang:Pfft, oh boy. So...umm...another secret war came up. One that caused us to leave our friends and family for over a decade.

Weiss:A decade!?

Blake:What gets worse after Salem!? Who tries anything after a grimm queen!?

Yang:So a majority of Remnant was still unaware of her, but a fight like that can only be kept under wraps so tightly. Plenty of people still learned fractions of the truth. A few of those people weren’t exactly nice guys. They idolized her efforts and became her followers that wanted to keep her will alive, starting with taking revenge on the people who defeated her. We were so unaware. So caught up in normalcy. They ambushed us, and I mean everyone. We...we didn’t come out unscathed. Ren was crippled badly. Weiss, you almost your brother. Jaune’s family got hit but thankfully lived. The real casualties were aimed to hurt Ruby.

Ruby:Oh, of course. S-So, either you’re about to say I had no time to start a family, or...

Yang:...

Yang:When I tell you the look you made when you learned what happened to Oscar, to Qrow... that’s the moment it felt like my little sister left forever. Till this day you don’t smile like you used to. Very recently, now that it’s finally over, you’ve started looking better, but those ten years were hell. We choose to go out and fight again, avoiding contact with family. I haven’t had a real opportunity to be in my daughters life.

Ruby:How old is she?

Yang:Sixteen soon. Left her when she was four so you know. *tearing up* I missed everything. Just about anyways. Ironically it was Raven and Adam that helped her through the years with Jaune and Dad. Eventually we came back and ooohh boy was Yujin not thrilled in the slightest. Hehehe. Her right hook is really strong. I only had about a week with her before things got complicated again. *wipes eyes* But it’s okay. We left on good term. Something I definitely don’t feel like I deserve.

Blake:I can’t believe a thing like that would be possible.

Yang:Cults are a huge problem in Remnant now. You’re definitely aware of that. You actually oversee a little group from the shadows to deal with them in secret. An idea you got from experience. Adam works for you and everything. Hate to admit, but he’s become the guy you wanted him to be. Even has a family. I’m grateful to him. He personally kept my girl safe.

Blake:To think I’d hear you say that. Now I know this isn’t my world.

Yang:Don’t get me wrong, I still will hit him if given the chance. My life hasn’t been charmed and sacrifices too great were happening way too many times but it finally has gotten to a point where everyone feels like we’re taking steps towards a better future.

Weiss:Moving forward?

Yang:Yes, I was trying to avoid the phrase but yes Weiss, we’re moving forward. Still... *looks at Ruby*....

Ruby:W-What?

Yang:It’s unreal seeing you like this. My Ruby has become so strong and endured but hasn’t really picked herself up completely. All her tragedy stemmed from the loss of Oscar and Qrow; her last talk with Oscar was fight about kids too. That’s the entire reason she went off alone in the first place. Looking at you I can’t help but question my own choices. If...I just let her stay with Jaune, then maybe-

Ruby:Nope.

Yang:Huh?

Ruby:Look, if I know anything about your world, then it’s gonna be me and I can tell you without a doubt your Ruby doesn’t blame or would consider her own happiness without you. She loved you enough to take the chance to find love again. You really think there’s anything you could’ve done differently at that point. That girl is as stubborn as they come! *smiles* So buck up cowgirl. You deserve it.

A sense of warmth came over Yang as she heard those words. This other Ruby smiled at her with the same love as her own; completely caring about Yang’s feeling before her own. Yang felt so...unburdened. She couldn’t help but cry a little, laughing softly as she did. Who would’ve thought love could transcend worlds? It was so vindicating, therapeutic even.

Yang:Ruby, you’re something else entirely, you know that?

Ruby:It’s my curse. All I ever wanted was normal knees but the world said “no, special eyes!”

Yang:Well I guess I should thank the world then?

Weiss:You said your Ruby is getting better? That’s good. Still, it must be pretty weird looking at Jaune. Can’t imagine how lonely it must feel losing a love twice.

Blake:It never numbs.

Yang:Geez you two, lighten up. We can’t all be depressed. Ruby also didn’t lose Jaune. Actually....there may or may not have been an interesting...arrangement for a brief period of time.

Ruby:Ehhh what?

Yang:Hehehe well, hahaha, ummmm a decade is a very long time without feeling any kind of pleasure in a bleak situation. And you know me, I have to share things with you all my life.

Ruby:OH MY GOD!!!

Blake:*grinning* Yooooo! You loaned out Jaune!?

Weiss:That’s....accurate; in a lot of ways.

Ruby:That’s so scandalous! How could you!?

Yang:I didn’t force it! I gave the option, you said no, then you changed your mind because things got real stressful. Like come on, a decade of death and loneliness.

Ruby:Sigh...yeah. I can see it. Still, it’s so filthy. He’s a married man. What, so I’d just look at you and say “Yang I’m gonna sleep with Jaune, don’t come in the room.”

Yang:....

Ruby:What?

Yang:....Nothing.

Ruby:Bullshit! What is it!?

Yang:*scratches head* Well, I was lonely too, and a week is only so long-

Weiss:Oh so it was a group thing!!?

Ruby:WHAT!?

Yang:Only sometimes!

Ruby:SOMETIMES!?

Blake:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!

Ruby:Why are you laughing!?

Blake:Because that’s just so extreme, and not, all at the same time. I could totally see that happening.

Weiss:Same. Dang, Jaune slept with sisters. That’s dangerously close to being like your dad.

Ruby:That’s different!

Blake:Is it though?

Yang:Eh, I don’t see the problem. We’re all grown and make choices. Plus I’m the one who guided you through awkward teenage changes. It not like we didn’t share a room for years.

Ruby:That doesn’t make it okay.

Yang:Eh debatable.

Ruby:*red* It isn’t though! How could I do something so bold!? So taboo!?

Weiss:It isn’t like you’re the one who did it. Just a version of you.

Ruby:Not better!

Yang:Awwww it’s okay Ruby. Let’s hug it out. Hehehe *opens arms*

Ruby:Don’t touch me!

Weiss and Blake laugh until their sides hurt as Ruby tries escaping the bear hug that terrorized her. Yang’s world found interesting for sure. Weiss finally decides to help Ruby out.

Weiss:Got a picture of Yujin?

Yang’s eyes lit up and pulled out her scroll. Her team huddled around her and collectively cooed like that parents they are at the sight of a blonde young girl with gorgeous blue eyes with a black combat school graduation cap and gown and a certificate proudly raised up high. If it wasn’t for those eyes and shoulders length hair, they might’ve mistaken her for Yang.

Yang:She’s going to Beacon early because she’s fucking awesome like her mom.

Ruby:I think you mean her aunt?

Yang:I know what I said.

Weiss:I bet she’s just as hardheaded.

Blake:What do you think your kid is up to right now?

Yang: Well...*smiles*

xxxx

The girl in question sat at a work bench with oil on her face and her hands busy tinkering with gauntlets. She looked over at blueprints in a journal. If they were right, then she was definitely doing something wrong. How her mother made something so complex was crazy!

Yujin:Come on Yujin. You can fix a car, making gauntlets into a sword that don’t break should be easy!

Footsteps came up from behind her and a plate stacked with sandwiches. She looked up and smiled at her dad that gave her a wink, then kissed her forehead.

Jaune:Haveing fun, you grease monkey.

Yujin:Jokes on you, I like monkeys. Just a few more attempts and I’ll have the coolest weapon in Remnant. That entrance exam is as good as aced.

Jaune:Not if you don’t have a landing strategy. Tomorrow we’re going on a trip.

Yujin:Does it happen to be near a cliff?

Jaune:Who can say? Rule one of being a huntsman, be prepared for everything.

He ruffled her hair and left, laughing evilly. Yujin could tell he’s been waiting for this day. She pulled out her scroll and searched through a collection of videos labeled “mom” and found a super early one. She hit play and watched her mother give a peace sign to the camera as trees increasingly got closer from below.

Yang:Beacon rules!!!! Wooohooo!

The camera flipped and focused on a familiar blonde flailing through the air like a doll in the distance.

Yang:Oof, hate to be that guy! Wait, that’s vomit boy! Hahah, hope he survives. He owes me shoes. Poor dude. I guess he needs more training in flirting and landing. Wait, eugh I think he barfed again! Hahaha!

Jaune:Stop watching that one!!!!

Yujin:Hahaha but it’s the best one. The ending is priceless.

Jaune: *walks back down*

Yang:Well if he survives this I guess I can off him at least I can offer him mints and company. Fake it to ya make Jaune. Between me and Ruby, at least you’ll look like a player. Heh, nah, I don’t think I can support a bunny onesie.

Yujin and Jaune:*grinning* And then she did! *high-fives* Arc charm, baby!

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

I’m baaaaack bitches 😘 let’s be honest the last two episodes were shit & you wouldn’t have wanted that wwr anyways. SO let’s get into the ✨angst✨ that was Nick’s episode under the cut…

Oh but before I start, why yes, yes I called this theory too. Me and this writer share a goddamn brain or something because I’ve literally always guessed big plot points of his episodes correctly 😅

Ok Nick’s dad leaving like that, with poor bby Nick all sweet asking if he promises to bring him back his favorite pastry and him hesitating before he’s going to promise- NO. 

*picture Michael Scott gif here*

It’s not faaaaaair, little Nick deserved so much better- so MUCH better. And it’s only going to get worse as the episode goes on, so strap in for the walk down emo lane. 

Quick pit stop for cute banter because duh. Nick giving the real estate agent Ellie’s number cracks me up because bro you want this house with her don’t you 👀 you still keep her business cards on you when you could have just as easily gotten your own (or McGee’s) by this point 👀 you just want to maaaaarry her and move iiiiiiin with her I knooooooow it 👀 Ellie’s reaction the split second we see also has me dying because she’s like ha ha this is funny you had to talk to real estate agent you drew the short straw hey wait what the fu— you did not! Before McGee interrupts any protest she can hurl back Nick’s way and that’s just gold right there. Pure middle school flirting as per usual for them and I love it.

Oooooooh Kasie’s lab scene. The growth in this one. Nick worried his family and by extension him, is going to get implicated for murder (or is guilty) even though it sounds outrageous to him, he’s got PTSD from Mona Lisa (and who wouldn’t tbh). But Ellie immediately, like IMMEDIATELY goes and defends him. Is like uh-uh don’t even GO there, it’s not a possibility its just person of interest I don’t care if it’s literal hair at the scene of a man stabbed brutally seven times, he’s not a murderer. The grooooooowth Ellie, I’m so proud of you 🥺 we went from using that logical head to realizing it’s ok to listen to your heart and wade into situations with empathy (especially for the boy you ~*looOOoOoOve*~) And then Nick talking about his dad being dead and a deadbeat and walking out when he was 5, he looks at Ellie almost the entire time, only barely glancing over at McGee like he needs to have that connection with her, she grounds him when this is suddenly very jarring having a relative by semi-involved in a murder. And Ellie isn’t the slightest bit shocked when Nick dumps this news so clearly she’s heard it and by her look, not only has she heard this, but she does not like the man for what he did to Nick. She looks pissed his father hurt Nick like that because how dare any one hurt her man 😤

And oh here it is, we back on emo lane. Nick recognizing and seeing his dad for the first time in 30 years. It’s gonna hit like a 🎵freeeeeight traaaain🎵 at first he can’t even believe its him, he blinks like a thousand times because *surely* his eyes are deceiving him and then his dad goes and uses his nickname, his nickname people the CRUELTY. YOU DON’T GET TO JUST SHOW UP THIRTY YEARS LATER AND CALL HIM BY HIS CUTE LITTLE NICKNAME YOU GAVE HIM AS A CHILD. YOU DON’T MIGUEL. NOT IN THIS GD HOUSE. Ok and now nick is in pure shock because he just got confirmation that his dad is not only *not* dead, but he’s here in front of him, in DC no less, possibly a murderer no less. AND he’s finding this out by chasing him down *not* by Miguel reaching out to him while in DC. The shock and confusion and hurt my poor baby.

And when that shock wears off and it’s just barely contained rage, my heart 🥺 so of course Ellie goes in there with him and nows she needs to immediately be the support she knows he needs but he won’t admit to needing. Nick tries to deflect with a joke at first but oh honey it’s no use. But quick comedic relief for us on emo lane “sit down, no I don’t like sitting” AHAHAHA like father like son I’m cackling because the look Ellie and nick share and nick’s eyes warn her like don’t you dare fucking say it and she’s like yep yep nope I wasn’t gonna say a damn thing I’ll just look down and try to contain my laughter because now is NOT the time. But see I’m on my couch and I can laugh all I damn well please at this scenario that was gold from the writers thank you. On a more serious level this probably hurt nick even more seeing that he’s even got the smallest something similar to his dad. He’s probably desperate to be the exact opposite, he doesn’t want to even consider being capable of what his father was capable so this - while seemingly insignificant - thing like not wanting to sit in a chair will hit deep for him without him realizing it. If something so trivial is the exact same, wouldn’t something much much heavier like commitment to relationships and family be the exact same? Wouldn’t it?? And good god poor nick for going through that mental anguish, on emo rollercoaster lane. Because it just gets better when Miguel’s excuse for being in DC is “visiting family” like call your BULLSHIT Miguel you certainly ain’t visiting family and Nick now knows oh he lies too, great, another win for the Torres blood, fan-fucking-tastic. 

Quick peek at viewing room and we don’t believe in personal space, Ellie wants to be as close as possible to her hurting bby 🥺

But back to the emo stuff - Miguel just lying off his ass and Nick fed up with his father’s games because it’s truly just twisting that knife in his back that’s been stuck there for 30 years deeper and deeper. AND THEN Miguel has the audacity to yell out for “Nico” like bitch you do NOT get to call him that either. You walked out on him and never came back gtfo. And Ellie is trying so hard to keep it together but man she wants to do one of two things if not both at the same time - wrap Nick up in her arms and shield him from this deadbeat and/or punch this man through the glass to cause just a fraction of the hurt he caused Nick. But instead she just has to keep her cool to be the supportive girlfriend she is and ask nick what he thinks and then. Then. “He’s lying…because his lips are moving”

Well FUCK. Murder me right now. The anguuuuuuuish. Poor five year old Nick in a 35 year old Nick’s body. That little boy who was promised a big hojaldre in the morning from the next town over is right there. Right there to witness the father he thought he had, hasn’t changed. One of the only memories Nick probably has of his father is him leaving. Him lying and leaving. And what does he do when he finally shows up again? 

HE LIES AND LEAVES. HE FUCKING LIES AND LEAVES. (I know I’m getting ahead and technically at this point we don’t know he’ll leave again but whatever sue me because this shit is too much.)

Side note: Ellie talking about a “conflict of interest” that Nick didn’t interrogate his father is laughable considering she should have never interrogated Xavier but ok. 

Ooooo lets see some pissed off Nick. Let it loose baby, you deserve this. And I know I wrote about this in the tags somewhere but can we take a second to appreciate McGee’s growth??? Like bro went from straight up denial to acceptance and giving Ellie the look of “go talk to your boyfriend ok we need to make sure he’s alright and we both know your support is going to go a lot further than my support” and Ellie wordlessly kNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S SAYING. She’s like yeah, of course I’ll go help my man why wouldn’t I. 

I don’t know why but Ellie asking Nick if he’s talked to his “mom and sister” is just so 🥰 I can’t explain this one to you but I love this dialogue ok. Actually I love this whole ensuing conversation. Nick still is bitter (he has every gd right to be), Ellie playing the supportive girlfriend but *tiiiiiniest* bit of devil’s advocate with saying he might be innocent. Once again, so much growth because honestly she knows what it’ll do to Nick if his dad actually *is* a murderer. Like can we for a second imagine if his dad actually was guilty, right? Nick already saw he was like his dad in trivial things like not wanting to sit in chairs. Nick has already had serious, serious doubts to what he’s capable of aka worried he could, if the right buttons were pushed, be a murderer on multiple occasions. Ellie has been there with him for all of that, she knows how low his confidence is when it comes to his perceived “goodness” and she knows just how much it would break him if he learned his direct bloodline IS capable of murder. She knows how he’d spiral if that was true and so she’s gripping to any small possibility his dad is innocent. But nick, oh poor Nick my heart- he’s done. He opens up to Ellie without literally any prodding. He’s baring his long buried soul to her, that troubled, broken childhood that he surely keeps locked away in fear of letting anyone see a weakness. He bares it without question because he feels so safe in her presence he can let her in to see his deepest shame and by extension his deepest worry 🥺🥺🥺 and poor Ellie, she’s a little lost at how to go about helping him because she does have a good relationship with her dad, so yes all she has here for him is saying his father was guilty of a crap dad but it’s because she’s still trying to convince them both he has to be good. He has to be good for Nick’s sake. Buuuuuuut it doesn’t really work does it, because oh shit pissed the fuck off Nick is a site to behold isn’t it 🥵 kicking down doors once again and his smart “still think he’s innocent” oooooooo damn. Ellie’s face says it all- she’s trying so hard to hold out hope for Miguel, so hard. She needs him to be innocent she’s willing to speak it into existence a thousand times but her face is like fuck this is going to kill him and I can’t do a damn thing about it other than just watch. 

More pissed off Nick 🥵 but when you think about it is so so painful, all I can picture is that little 5 year old boy who woke up the next morning waiting, waiting, and waiting. Staring out the window at each car that slows down but ultimately passes. Tugging on his Mami’s shirt asking for the hundredth time when papi is coming back from the bakery with his hojaldre, oblivious to the tears that are slowly sliding down her cheek because she still can’t find the words to tell him what she knows deep down. That little boy who when the sun starts to set the confusion sets in with it. Why hasn’t my papi come back yet? Where is he? He promised. The sadness and sense of rejection that starts to fill his little heart when his mami tucks him and his sister into bed and he asks one final time where papi is and will he say goodnight to them and his Mami has to say she’s not sure when he’s coming home and quietly to the side, “if he’s coming home.” The little boy who weeks later has finally abandoned watching out the window every, single morning. The little boy who had his heart ripped out and thrown to the side of the road when he realized his papi didn’t go to the bakery and instead he was thrown out by his father like a day-old hojaldre. So yeah pissed Nick is fine af but good god the angst underneath is suffocating. Because Nick in this moment doesn’t know the *true* reason Miguel left. He knows what he lived and what he lived is a piece of shit. Nick’s response to “is that what you think of me” is amicable because OOF he could’ve gone the fuck off right there and told him what he really thought of him but he stuck with only a slight dig. TO WHICH MIGUEL. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. IT HASN’T HURT YOU MUCH. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. FUCK YOU. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE A SHIT DAD SO YEAH PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU LEFT. THANK HIM NICK WITH YOUR FISTS BECAUSE HE’S A LITTLE SHIT. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. TOUGHENED HIM UP SO MUCH HE SHUTS EVERYONE OUT. YEAH FUCK YOU. 

And then man here is the point where it all just muddies in Nick’s mind. The poor dude. He knows this line of work, hell he was undercover for almost a decade. He understands how that leaves almost no room for a family. He gets it, so deep deep deep down a tiny part of him realizes why Miguel likely *thought* it was ok to ditch his family. But for thirty years he’s felt abandoned- no reasoning can change that. 

“It’s good to know he was making a nice living while my family was starving” fucking GET HIM NICK. Damn I wish Miguel had been in the room for that. He deserved to hear that one. Ruthless. 

I do not know how I missed this the first time around but holy shit Nick asked to be removed from the case. Nicholas Torres- a man who does not back down. A man who bullied his way into finishing his first ever case with this team that he was arguably way too close to that one too. This is how much pain Miguel brings him. A man who does not quit, not in his vocabulary - was so pissed at getting sent home back when Reeves died, he asks to get sidelined. He actually asks to get sidelined. Holy shit Miguel did a number on Nick and I mean we knew this but 🥺😭😭 poor bby. No wonder you don’t trust yourself in a serious relationship. It’s not the girl you’re worried about it’s you. You don’t think you’re capable of staying, you’re terrified you’ll be just like your dad and leave. once again, you’ve seen the similarities with trivial things and so this just cements your fear of failing at commitment. And this is Nick in just so much pain he asks to step back. oof. I do love Leon stepping into a slight fatherly role for Nick right there though, he shows his support, his pride in Nick and in that moment I think Nick realizes while his father by blood is shit, he’s got several other strong role models in his life that care and that’s why he agrees to work with him. 

Nick’s smarts comment about leaving the note behind 🤣 oh classic Torres move. Also do yourself a favor and pause it on Ellie’s reaction to him. GOLD hahaha she’s like ooo-kay did you really feel the need to say that, let’s not. Honestly I think I’ve given this look to my husband almost daily. They married y’all. 

So married that she overhears Miguel trying to talk to Nick and her hackles raise!!! She’s like hold the fuck up do not traumatize my baby even more, Nick do you need me??? Because I will get you out of this, I will be here for you, I will fight this man, just say the damn word!!!! And Nick ugh, his look. They can communicate with just a simple look, he knows all that she would do for him in that moment and still nods her off, but that tiny bit of gratitude is present. Then we find out that yes Grace is really good at guessing theories “in order to keep his young family safe, it means he has to leave. Of course he can’t *tell* them why he has to leave so that they continue to stay innocent and safe. So he plays it like he’s a deadbeat dude who was “too young” to be a father and is just now realizing it and leaves his wife, little daughter & son behind. Flash forward thirty years and the NCIS case leads them to him. A piece of evidence pops up with his alias, they go knocking down doors to interrogate a potential suspect (Nick’s father) before our lovely CIA agent interfere and claims he’s innocent because he’s a CI…” like DAMN, I’m good. Hahaha any ways the reason I bring this up is because I feel like I predicted/analyzed Nick’s feelings really well back then in this theory and after seeing his expressions, they hold true. Nick is just absolutely warring with himself during this explanation, searching for anything to confirm his dad truly is a deadbeat (and yes he is still absolutely a piece of shit for what he did, but there’s a “good” reason for his leaving and that’s what makes it so- hard.) and as I said when I first broke this down, Nick understands undercover work and his dad (being the POS he is) brings that up to Nick. Like he should “get” it because wouldn’t he do the same thing since he’s in that life? But here’s where (and Nick doesn’t totally realize it yet) Nick and Miguel are different. Because Nick came back, Nick stayed. He stayed y’all and he says it here but he does not realize the implications of his words quite yet. He is NOT the same as Miguel. Yeah he doesn’t like to sit in chairs but he has stayed. He has stayed through some tough shit too but he’s stayed nonetheless. More than Miguel could ever fucking say, that’s for sure. So yes, when Nick has the come to Jesus and realizes that he is not the same as his dad and he can and will stay? Damn I can’t wait for that moment. Also I wanted to slap Miguel when he called Nick “mijo” because BITCH YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM THAT. YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM YOUR SON. NO. “I’m not perfect but I did the best I could” well fuck you too Miguel because look at this broken five year old boy inside a thirty five year old man’s body. Does that look like the product of a “best you could”?? Does he look “ok” to you??? Fuck you. 

But yes here’s my take on where Nick is at: how do you forgive someone you’ve despised for thirty years once you know they “didn’t have a choice” (even though it will always feel like they had a choice or they could’ve explained it to you even if you were only five) and left in reality token you safe and give you a better chance at life? How do you reconcile the real dad and the one you lived with in your head for so long?? How???

And then you’re stuck still reeling from the night before and the bomb that was dropped and the reconciliation you’re attempting to your dad bringing in the ONE THING. The ONE THING he promised to bring home in the morning thirty years prior. How the actual fuck does one come back from that. Can I give another big FUCK YOU to Miguel Torres? Because seriously??? Why do you ever think that’s ok??? Hey I promised my kid I’d bring him hojaldres in the morning for breakfast thirty years ago so may as well make good on that promise right, only thirty years late that’s totally fine right? He won’t tell the difference right?

Fuck you, Miguel. 

And they’re still clearly Nick’s favorite because he’s brought Jimmy to a restaurant specifically for them and that just makes my heart break for the man he had to become without a father. He still held onto that love for them even though they were probably always associated with a horrible, horrible memory of being abandoned 🥺🥺 god damn Nick you’re so broken I’m so sorry. 

Ellie is still as supportive as ever and good god we clearly have lost all pretense of personal space at this point, what is her we don’t know her isn’t this normal for coworkers? But this conversation implies he called her after his talk with his dad and ugh yesssss 😩❤️ I still think he called her immediately after leaving the building, talked the entire car ride home and while getting ready for bed, needing the comfort of her voice on the other end of the line as he worked through his whirlwind of emotions and tried to come down off the cliff he felt himself on. All pretenses of a bad boy with a mysterious flare forever gone, his heart is open for her to see and he doesn’t give two shits about it anymore. But Ellie does a damn good job of girlfriend duties here and not only supports him but also gently prods him to see if he can maybe one day have a relationship with his father. The parallels she brings up makes him think (and also makes him look at her lips twice 👀 he’s just so close to her how could he not I mean right 😅) and I love that she’s still being v supportive but also trying to help him grow. 

And then Ellie giving Nick the option to go with his dad or go to the other location because she’s not going to push anything on him he doesn’t want and then when he chooses the embassy to avoid his dad her reaction had me laughing 🤣 but she respects it. And yet shortly after Miguel tries to team up with Nick and Ellie hears it from the other side of the bullpen, immediately all ears to step in if he wants to avoid him again despite giving him flack for it earlier. Nick can sense her worry and support and this is the moment he takes her advice in just a tiny step and accepts teaming up with his dad. But OMG KILL ME WHEN NICK THINKS HIS DAD IS DEAD BEFORE HE GETS TO TRY AT A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN. HIS WHISPERED “papa’s” I CAAAAAN’T. 

Ugh and then his last conversation with his dad while Ellie is checking on him constantly. It’s just too much, that little boy is back, desperately hoping for his dad to stick around. And Ellie is just so happy she can’t contain it for him and it’s perfect. He walks right to her, her hand on his back because they just need to touch each other after such a heavy couple of days and Nick echoes her advice back at her because he’s showing he listens and he values her insight and I just love it. 

AND THEN MIGUEL HAS COME TO RIP MY HEART OUT BECAUSE HE’S A PIECE OF SHIT REMEMBER. 

My poor bby Nick’s face when he realized his dad LIES AND LEAVES. REMEMBER. HE LIES AND LEAVES. God Wilmer killed it because Nick is literally on the verge of tears and my heart breaks and then yes he goes to Gibbs to see his pseudo-father who he then realizes is more of a father figure than Miguel will ever be and hell that’s okay but STILL. 

I will end this WWR with a I love supportive girlfriend Ellie and another big Fuck You to Miguel Torres.

Goodnight.

[silvia7272]

Miraculess Ladybug Salt AU: You Always Liked To Play With Fire ~ The Meeting

I have no idea how long I want this to be, but I doubt it will be too long, so maaaaybe 15 chapters? But I’m super glad that this has gotten more attention than I thought it would have.

Might need to point out that I only said there weren’t any Miraculous here, but heroes still exist, but they all hide their identities (from the public because I think it’s stupid for random civilians to know your identity) if they chose to or they only tell families.

This fanfic and its ideas were all made before season 4 came out, so if something doesn’t add up please don’t worry. That information wasn’t available then, and unless it fits into my story or I like it, I won’t include it in my story. Also, that new Miraculous wiki can get lost, I’m not putting any of that new information in here if they couldn’t even put it in the show.

Word Count: 7661

Tags: @vixen-uchiha​, if you wish to be tagged all you must do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged. I’m very sorry if I’ve missed anyone.

Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Summary:

(Fire doesn't exactly have anything to do with this story I just really liked the title)

Note: This book contains OOC scenes of Miraculous Ladybug as well as a ton of salt, so if you don't like that stuff you may scroll past and have a nice day.

In a world with no Miraculous, no Hawkmoth and no Ladybug, how does our little heroine do?

Well, it usually would be hanging out with her friends, as any other teenager would do...

But, of course, this wasn't normal.

This was reality. It was cold, hard, and definitely not welcome.

So, when this girl wishes to have some kind of adventure in her boring, mundane life...

How long does it take for her to regret it?

Trigger Warning (If you believe there is absolutely anything in my works that can be classed as triggering please tell me and I will include it after the summery. All off my works are made with a keep reading so you should be able to see if there's anything in the warning before hand.)

Mentions of guns, poison and stitching flesh.

***

Beep… Beep…

Alarms were annoying. Why had someone decided to invent a device that makes you feel guilty for sleeping in? Why not just be a gentle reminder in the form of a lullaby? Or a small caress of a hand brushing some hair, as you simply start to close your eyes, drifting of-

“Marinette you’ll be late for school again!”

She groaned.

So that was why.

Getting dressed she sighed knowing what the day would hold. Glares, being alone, eat, hopefully become nothing but invisible and make sure to go unnoticed before rushing back home.

For the past three years, this is what would happen to her. This same boring, frighteningly normal routine.

And she hated it.

Not just for being alone, or all of the sadness she felt grow each day to a meter she wasn’t sure what level she was on now but whatever. It wasn’t going down any time soon.

No, what she hated the most…

Was the boredom.

Yes, her creativity streak could not be higher, she had been going through her sketchbooks so much she had to work longer hours at her bakery to afford them all, but her love for fashion just wasn’t the same, she didn’t feel any joy producing her work anymore. There wasn’t anyone new to show it with.

She was just alone in her room, mountains of book piles covering every surface.

But she was bored in general. She wouldn’t be able to place the feeling, or even be able to describe what it was. But for whatever reason, she craved for adventure, I mean sure she was safe here, and she didn’t want to worry her Parents with this silly idea of hers. But she just wanted a tiny little taste of some venture.

So why couldn’t she?

“Did you hear?” Marinette heard the whispers, walking up to her classroom door she could hear what they were talking about, over the years she had become silent, become part of the crowd, it was so much easier to eavesdrop, although it was a bad habit of hers, she couldn’t help it.

For example, she heard about Adrien’s relationships.

Now don’t start getting worried, she was 100% over the boy. She would under no circumstances ever fall for someone like him, or even make such a god-like illusion of someone ever again.

But she heard how, the first day Lila came, and their kiss they shared. He really had meant to pull away.

Because he was starting to see Kagami.

But, his feelings became conflicted.

And he didn’t want to hurt Kagami, so he simply never told her.

But then he never told Lila to stop with all of her advances, and Alya had tried numerous times to set them up.

Again, Adrien never said for them to stop, instead went along with it. He never told them he was with Kagami, and Marinette couldn’t help but feel so sorry for the girl.

She learnt from hearing Adrien’s conversation he was her first friend, and she wanted to keep hold of that fact.

Just like her.

Except, the bluenette was able to escape that motion before she was sucked in too far.

She would’ve warned Kagami, don’t get her wrong. But Marinette wouldn’t lie. She was intimidated by the girl.

Every time she saw her, she would glare all the time. It just reminded her of everyone else, and she couldn’t go through with it.

Pathetic she thought bitterly.

But still. If she had confessed to Adrien, and then Lila came. Would he have told her about that kiss?

.

Well, er- Besides that, she had a knack for hearing other things too, for example, footsteps, she was able to tell who’s were who’s just by the sound. Some were light like Rose’s and Juleka’s. Some were heavy like Ivan’s and Mr Damocles. Some were sneaky like Chloé’s and Lila’s.

And she had to learn to avoid interactions with anyone she knew would make a fuss.

It became easy after a while.

Opening the door, she quickly scanned the class, they were all there, usual spots an all.

Around Lila’s desk.

Oh well.

It would be less likely they would notice her.

She was, fortunately, able to get to her seat without any interruptions.

“A hero is coming to Paris, to help all of the Parisians out. Isn’t that amazing?”

“Really, that’s so cool. I wonder what they’ll be like?”

“Oh, I sure hope he’s strong. Hey, do you think it’ll be Eostrix Or Sparrow?”

“And why exactly do you think it’ll be Eostrix? What about Medusa. Or-” Alya gasps, excitement seeping out of her.

“What if it’s Nebula?!”

“Nu-uh, it’s definitely Eostrix”

“No way Nebula all the way”

“Eostrix”

“Nebula”

“Eostrix!”

“Nebula!”

“EOSTRIX!”

“NEBULA!”

“BATMAN!!” The once quiet Rose belted out, before covering her hands in astonishment.

“Sorry I wanted to join in.” She gave a sheepish smile as Juleka pattered her head.

Marinette breathed a sigh of relief, they would always get loud but today must’ve been special.

She looked out the window. A superhero Ey? Coming to Paris? How exciting. She knew she would never get the chance to meet them in person, what with her not so chaotic schedule. But she would love nothing more than to thank them for all they had done, for even volunteering to come here and help.

If she was brave enough, she would love to bake something for them, as a token of appreciation for their work. Maybe even make an outfit inspired by them-

Wait- that wouldn’t be considered creepy, right?

She tried to work on that, with her attachment issues. But she was trying, with no friends at least, she wasn’t sure if it had worked. No one could see her progress without any other remarks.

“You shouldn’t work yourself up so much, besides there’s going to be an announcement in 2 hours, we’ll just see it at break.” Alix laid back in her seat, Marinette couldn’t tell if she had finally realised the truth but was just drowning it out or just grew bored.

But she hadn’t made any type of engagement with her.

Oh well, I guess she was done with hoping.

But it wouldn’t matter, Mlle Bustier came in clapping her hands to gain the classes attention.

“Now now, please return to your seats, I have a very special announcement to say” Please don’t let it be another pop quiz. It was bad enough when someone would glance her way in general. Not when her test score would be one of the highest.

“As you know, this small, lovely class has been so pleasant these past few years. Our own tight little nest, and I couldn’t be prouder of… All of you” Marinette saw the little glance she made, whatever she thought. It was all lies anyway.

“But, we will have to make another new addition to this class” A laugh was heard.

“Well, I for one hope they’ll be better than the last bunch… Except for you Adrikins” The others glared at her as Adrien looked away, not wanting to get involved.

If there was one thing Marinette could commend Chloé for, it was the fact she saw through Lila’s lies with ease. Having Sabrina by her side did make it easier, but she saw through none the less.

She didn’t care that everyone else believed her little tales, Chloé thought it was funny, and loved the idea of their reactions when they would inevitably freak out and cry.

She just had to be patient.

Plus, there was no way she would feel pity for Marinette. In this world, its use or be used. And like hell she’ll be used. She just had to see for herself.

“Chloé please, that’s no way to make a first impression. Ahem, excuse me, you may come in now!”

“Ok~,” A singsong voice said.

If Marinette had been paying attention, she would’ve noticed the newcomer walk in. She wore a long-sleeved unbuttoned cardigan with a t-shirt underneath and a knee-high length skirt. A scarf was tied around her neck, matching her attire and small petite shoes.

She would’ve noticed the pretty little bows in her hair. The pigtailed braids, all going down to her waist, showing off how long it still was even tied up. Little earrings so small worn, a detail many wouldn’t have noticed.

She would’ve noticed the little introduction she did to the whole class, and how it seems she brightened up the whole room. Or the smile she sent their way, not for one but for all. And how a blond boy blushed from it.

But more importantly, she would’ve noticed, or at least heard her name being called out multiple times.

“Marinette, please pay attention for once, I swear your behaviour has gotten worse” She wanted to shrink, now she made a fool out of herself in front of the new girl.

“I’m very sorry about that, that was very rude of her, I do hope you’ll forgive the situation, the only available seat is at the back” Great, now she will hate her.

“That’s alright, I love sitting at the back, that way, I can see everyone and know they’re ok” Hearts stopped, and smiles grew, she really was just a sweet little child.

The bluenette, however, was dreading it. Now there would be another to hate her. And she seemed so innocent. It was only a matter of time before she would be corrupted as well.

Oh, the horror, she really didn’t deserve it, but Lila would have her way, she always di-

“You’re Marinette, right?” She jumped, forgetting she had just been in her own little world again, staring off into space. She really needed to stop that.

“Err y-yeah, and you are?” She cursed herself for not paying attention, now she may just think she was an ignorant stupid-

“My name is Rosaniline Keyne-Hill, but everyone calls me Rosann, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mari” She giggled as Marinette stared back.

Mari? No one had called her that before. But she liked it.

“Yeah, same”

And it felt like something else.

Maybe… Hope?

…

She shouldn’t be so optimistic.

***

Trying to eat in peace was a nightmare. There weren’t many places where she could go to without being in trouble. The library prohibited any foods due to not wanting any books to be damaged, you weren’t allowed to eat in a classroom without a teacher present, and considering all of the teachers chose to eat in the staff room she wouldn’t be able to sneak into any room. The art club, again didn’t want to damage any works, not after Chloé “accidentally” spilt her drink all over Nathaniel’s sketchbook four years ago. He refused to go to school for a week. And the roof was out of the question, too unsafe and a risk if anything were to happen.

But Marinette, since it’s lunch, couldn’t you go eat at home? Why yes, she could, at least two times a week she would just go back and stay at home to eat, but she felt as if she couldn’t always retreat home just for convenience, besides, Mlle Bustier would sometimes tell her to eat in the cafeteria with the others instead of hiding herself away. If she tried going to her Parents when told to stay, she’d be given warnings that soon turned to detentions.

Even if at times she wished to just sneak away, she couldn’t, she didn’t want her Parents to be called in and get wind of any other situations.

Marinette sighed as she played with her food, boredom crept on her face before she tuned into that hero announcement appearing on Face To Face.

Despite everyone trying to shove it down the school’s throat, she was ever so slightly curious about it. She may not have been able to voice her opinions to anyone in particular but she just wants to see who this mystery hero was.

Her pink earbuds at the ready and plugged in, she waited until Nadja Chamack’s report would come in, eerily, the whole cafeteria was quiet, the suspense was enough to put anyone silent.

Then, the logo came on, the sound resonated throughout the room since it was on the TV but Marinette stuck to her phone, she didn’t want anyone catching her watching it.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news. Now a new rumour has been circulating throughout Paris about a new superhero appearing to protect the civilians. I’m sure you’re all dying to know just how true it is. Well, I can assure you that only the best reporter in Paris would only speak of the truth, considering I have the key to answer all your questions.” Lights appeared behind her, all moving in different directions before centring on a doorway in the centre of the stage.

“I’m confident you’re very excited to find out who our mysterious hero is, so without further ado, let’s see who it is.” People began to hold their breaths, the excitement of who this bigshot would be, Nebula, Eostrix, or someone even bigger, they didn’t know, but you could hear a pin drop in that cafeteria with how silent it was.

From behind the curtain, there were ruffles, smoke emerged to give off a more dramatic flair as the crowds became excited.

.

.

*A turquoise and light emerald outfit came into view. Baggy clothing on her arms and legs appeared along with white high boots. Her main outfit seemed to reside a sweetheart neckline dress with a mini skirt, although Marinette noticed it gave the girl some mobility to move around instead of being restricting. She also noticed the slight cold colours centring around her skirt, since she always had a keen eye on different types of design patterns. Light blue overlayers obscured most of the skirts view with golden rims on the bottom.

She had a light blue neck jewel, although she couldn’t see much off it, she’d have to admit. Her mask was a gradient of turquoise to match her dress, her hair was tied up in two twin buns, two red hairpins also there she noticed, but the rest left down, Marinette had to wonder how long it would’ve been all down.

There were a lot of things Marinette noticed, however, one thing everyone could agree on…

Was that they had no idea who she was.

“Salutations everyone, why it’s a pleasure to be here.” Marinette had to admit, she looked… Kinda young to be a superhero. And maybe, just maybe, not what she’d envisioned when she’d heard about a hero coming to Paris. Why, she was making an assumption, and she should really know better than to do that since, y’know, but you couldn’t blame her right?

“WHAT? WHO THE HELL IS THAT?” She heard over the other side of the dining room. Of course, it was Alya, she never could control her voice volume. But she couldn’t tell if the ombre girl was upset over it not being Nebula or supposedly getting hyped up for a hero none of them had ever heard off.

Looking back at the screen, she could tell the news reporters seemed a bit taken back as well, Nadja never was good at concealing her emotions, even on air, maybe they had been promised someone else instead?

“O-Oh, I see. Well, I-’ Her recovery was the same, Nadja always fretted she had to rely on the people up in management to give her a line if she couldn’t think off one herself, she wasn’t very good at improv either.

The heroine smiled before walking down to sit beside Nadja.

“I understand the scepticism, my appearance deters most, but that is just a ploy, however, I’m here to make a promise to all off Paris. My name is Soliane Rin and I’m here to risk my life for everyone in Paris, with or without my mask on. All I ask is to be given a chance.” She bowed to the camera, to all off Paris, and Marinette was able to see her smile, her truthful words as the whole dining room stayed silent at her speech.

Marinette seemed to feel…

Hope?

“Ah- no it wasn’t that, it’s just we were given information you were appointed by both Eostrix and Nebula? How? I mean, how did you meet them, or more importantly how did you get to have this opportunity?” She smiled as Nadja had time to recover from her obvious disappointment.

“Oh that, well I had worked with them on a few cases in New York. I had trained for a few years to be just like that until I was finally able to convince them to train me fully. And well I guess they believed I was ready to protect this jurisdiction by myself over time.” Nadja nodded along, seemingly more at ease as the time passed by, more questions being asked and answered before everyone had noticed how much time had passed.

A beep emitted from the girl’s necklace, in turn making her stand up and bowing or at least curtsying once more.

“I’m sorry for the early interruption, but I must be going now, I have some business to attend too” She threw a peace sign as a puff of smoke surrounded her. When it had passed so had she disappeared. As the crew tried to cover from most of their unscripted events. Nadja headed to commercials.

The long-awaited announcement was over, what would the audience’s reactions be like?

“Really? We get a new hero like her? I’ve never even heard of Soliane Rin. Ugh, we might as well have gotten someone like Doorman” Kim flung his arms up into the air before sitting back into his chair.

Not good apparently.

“I know right, and to think I was excited for this” Alya dramatically fell back into her seat. And she was so looking forward to this news as well.

Marinette would admit to feeling more guilt, she may have… Possibly thought the same, but even still, we’re judging a book by its cover, surely, they all should’ve waited until maybe after she had proved herself.

Wait- making her have to prove herself was too judgemental still, she didn’t mean for it to sound that bad, she just- she was just wrestling with the thoughts in her mind.

Not noticing the annoyed looks from the class, the tiniest blush from a blond, or the tiny smirk residing from a brunette.

With a plan in action, she set to work ravelling a new story that was sure to captivate her ‘friends’. With a tremble of the lip and bowing her head, she waited until at least one person would notice her sudden change of expression.

Luckily, her plan went just as she thought.

“Lila? Are you ok, what’s wrong?” Rose, a sweet and naïve girl mind you, immediately took the bait.

And with that, the others finally took notice of her, a new record she thought, after so long she was used to this routine.

She knew how to work them.

“Oh- it’s nothing important, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to spoil the mood.”

Hook

“Hey c’mon girl, you can tell us. What’s on your mind?” Alya pats her shoulder to comfort the smaller girl.

Line

“Are you sure?” Lila asked again timidly, the other girl nodded, in fact, everyone did, and gave encouraging words to her, they couldn’t see the smirk inside her mind.

And sinker.

She fiddled with a piece off her skirt, a habit she formed when noticing they were always a lot more concerned when she fidgeted, it was a clever trick really. Being able to get anyone wrapped around her finger was a power she loved.

“Well, I just think it’s a bit sad really.”

“What was?” Someone asked, at times she didn’t really care who it was that responded, she just knew what the next response would be, she could always make them say what she wanted without them ever knowing…

Oh, she loved this life.

“It was meant to be a surprise.” She rambled on, waiting for someone to stop her, they had to.

“Lila, what are you talking about?” See, she knew how to play this game a thousand times over.

“Well… I wasn’t really meant to tell anyone. But since all of you are my friends, and I know I could trust you with this, so I guess it's fine to say.”

Everyone around the table leaned in, intrigued by what she had to say. Lila took a deep breath in, bracing herself for the aftereffect of her words she knew would come.

“I knew it would happen, that no one would like her, but I had hoped and prayed that you all would, I guess I should’ve asked for someone higher up” It took a few seconds for those words to tick in the aspiring journalists head, but when they were finally processed, she nearly erupted. It was better to make them think of what she said instead of just outright saying it, decent off her to help their brains.

“Wait- you- you were the one to suggest a hero to come to Paris!? OMG girl that is fantastic” Lila gave a small smile as everyone then shouted the usual praise at her, she nodded along before turning her head down.

“But- you all weren’t happy” They all felt guilty at that, maybe that was why Lila had been quiet the entire time while the news was on. She must’ve been checking for their expressions and yet they hurt her feelings instead.

“Sorry- we must’ve just presumed it was gonna be Eostrix or Nebula, that morning probably messed with our responses” Alya laughed as she draped an arm around Lila.

But the ‘lie’ wouldn’t end there.

“I see, I just thought she would’ve wanted more recognition while being here” Out of nowhere she started crying more, everyone tried to comfort her, but it was no use.

“She’s just such a nice person, and so kind. When I last met her, she was still in training and I promised I would promote her as much as I could” She sniffed as Rose handed her a tissue which she greedily took a hold of.

Before they could exclaim their surprise she immediately jumped right back into her story.

“I knew I should’ve tried harder; I should’ve gotten Nebula or Eostrix. I’m sorry I ruined everyone’s day. I- I should’ve left my big mouth shut. I’m sorry guys” Their guilt immediately intensified.

Lila had done all of that for them, and they had quite easily tossed it aside without realising, how could they? And to one-off their best friends? Despicable, absolutely despicable.

Wait, why did that sound vaguely familiar?

Oh well, Lila was more important.

“Lila no” Alya cooed in a soft voice, feeling mostly responsible, hyping everyone else up and being one of the first ones to dismiss the new hero entirely. She tries to comfort Lila was the least she could do.

“It’s not your fault Lila” Her plan came together.

“Of course, not. We shouldn’t have judged her so quickly” Just like all the others.

“We’re sorry, so sorry Lila.” And she knew how to do it so efficiently.

“We shouldn’t have judged so quickly” Lila’s smirk in her mind grew in size, they were so wrapped around her finger.

As Alya was happily explaining that she would be in fact honoured to create a blog about this new hero- she had forgotten her name, and would quite happily like to interview Lila as well to be able to learn anything else about the hero, a lone figure grew upset.

Lila had just created another lie, she was used to that, but for it to be about the new hero, couldn’t Lila tell just how dangerous that could be? I mean sure, it would be great to actually be able to meet a hero, let alone be friends with one. But to publicly announce that? Was she crazy? Did she want a massive target on her back?

She could only hope no one would buy into that blog, as mean as it was, but she didn’t want them to get physically hurt.

She could only hope that the new hero wouldn’t care about fake news or blatant lies.

She truly could only hope.

.

As shoes tapped against the floor along the dining room, a new figure turned her head.

She had been walking around her new school, looking around for entrances, exits and just in general any hidden secrets. She had previously asked for a school plan from a teacher, but had been informed that her students would be more than happy to help her instead, and she needn’t need some piece of paper. But that didn’t suit her, so when she wasn’t looking, she may have just acquired one anyway. She was quiet so she wouldn’t have been caught.

Now she was walking through the dining hall, she had wanted to take in the cafeteria, just in case there were any rooms she had missed, until she heard footsteps approaching her.

“Hey Rosaniline, come join us, we haven’t seen you all lunch.” She knew she’d have to concede, having analysed each person in her class, she knew, Alya, would not take no as an answer.

So, she flashed her innocent smile and nodded along, it may prove useful to study them further.

Her arm was grabbed before they walked over to a table full of people, so different from the other tables.

“So, newbie where were you? You totally missed the special hero announcement.” Alix asked her, the others looked over to see her answer, if Rosaniline hadn’t been used to having a crowd around her she believed she would’ve been nervous as hell.

“I had taken the liberty off looking around the school, I’m afraid I can get pretty lost in large places, I only wished to remember the layout beforehand.” She placed her hands together with a bright smile appearing. It was half a lie; she couldn’t exactly state her true reason, now could she?

The ombre haired girl pulled a large smile onto her face. She was just like Adrien, new, polite and a literal ball of sunshine, she thought before sneakily looking over at the blond-haired person who hadn’t said much, most probably due to his shy nature due to his upbringing.

She latched onto Adrien’s arm before practically flinging him towards Rosaniline.

She literally took falling for someone to a whole new level.

“Well looks like the two of you would get along swimmingly” Her new ship was bound to sail, she could see it now, their immediate attraction for each other, the dates and interactions they’ll have before proclaiming their love in the rain, a sentimental scene in which she’ll be gladly recording while hiding behind a tree.

I mean who wouldn’t just map out her new friends love life in a matter of minutes of knowing each other?

But… It may just become a crash course instead. They rubbed their heads simultaneously due to bumping into each other. However, one was ever so slightly overjoyed with being in such close proximity to her while the other would think that prank wasn’t funny in the least.

Before any of the duo could express their annoyance/apologise and maybe a get together sometime, someone of course just had to interrupt the moment.

“Oh, Rosaniline we need to apologise to you” Rosann had expected the apology to come from Alya but it appeared that girl didn’t know that she had done something wrong.

“We’re so sorry that you have to sit next to her” That caught Rosann’s attention, what did they mean by that? They must’ve noticed her confused face as the explained further.

“Oh, you poor thing, you really don’t know do you?” Well, no. That is what she wanted to say, she was new, of course she wouldn’t know, hell she hadn’t even been able to see the whole layout as she had planned to. She was sure there was a hidden basement somewhere, she just needed to locate it.

“That girl, the one you have to sit next to in class. The one with dark blue hair?” They all tried to provide as many details as they could without trying to make it too obvious, but Rosann was able to make out who exactly they were talking about.

She took a sneaky glance towards the person the group had started to talk about. She heard a few words of bullying, mean, lies and stalker before zoning it out, she needed to concentrate.

The girl, in a pink jacket and a grey skirt. Sitting alone on a table that seemed to be mocking her by how big it was. All of the tables were big, possibly to do with teachers wanting students to sit with their friends.

But she wasn’t with anyone, she just absentmindedly played with her food as nothing interesting happened.

Rosann stared, that girl, she hadn’t seen her smile once, or even display any kind of positive emotion. She was just lonely; couldn’t they see that?

That girl needed to be saved!

***

Midnight.

Or at least close to that time she thought.

She didn’t know, she had spent many a night out on her balcony just sketching in her book. One would think it would’ve been too cold but the bluenette didn’t mind, she had been used to it, the wind wasn’t particularly chilly out here, even if it was late September. This was part of her routine anyway. Staying up late was just something she was used to, her sleeping schedule was the worse. But she produced so many fantastic ideas when she was awake at night, it was a sacrifice she was willing to take.

With her earbuds plugged in, she was jolted out of her streak when she heard a different notification pop up, pulling out her phone she looked at what could’ve possibly caused it.

[BREAKING NEWS: New Hero Prevents Bank Robbery On First Day.]

Marinette smiled at that. Her first achievement, in Paris of course, she knew she had done a lot before, she had checked a few articles before, although she did have to rely on google translate on a few instances, but this hadn’t been the only thing she had prevented. There had been house fires to museum robberies to even outright terrorist attacks, and yet she was able to stop them all, she did have some help but from what Marinette could make out the other heroes got there after taking most of the civilians out of the buildings, and from what she could tell, she could’ve easily handled everything herself.

She could see Soliane didn’t need to prove herself to others if she was just given a chance for everyone to see what she could do.

To not be judged based on baseless accusations tossed her way. For people to look through and see the truth!

.

.

She didn’t know who that had been aimed at, but she knew she just wanted to get back to her sketching.

But… She couldn’t.

Not now.

Not when she heard a noise behind where she had been sitting!

She quickly dropped her belongings as she jumped up from her chair.

-

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but she knew she had heard something, it wasn’t just her hearing she knows that.

She knew something had happened; something was there. When she stayed put, trying to concentrate more- she heard slight breathing, slow and- hurting!?

She didn’t know who it was, she didn’t know their intentions or they alliance, but, if something was hurt, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t check it out.

So, she quietly approached the wall, having to stand on the bricks on the side of the wall since she wasn’t tall enough before pushing herself up.

!!!

‘That’s-!’

Even in the night she could see a prominent colour.

Turquoise!

“It- no it can’t be! Soliane Rin!” She whispered more to herself, but even still she couldn’t comprehend how this could have happened.

Noises of pain interrupt her train of thought. She- she was hurt!

Her mind had taken action, and immediately propelled her forward, she couldn’t leave someone out here in the middle of the night hurting, even if she was a hero, she was still human!

She ran towards her, instantly trying to ask if she was ok? Where was she hurt and if she can respond?

But nothing came, no answer, nada. She had to check if she was alright.

She came closer, forgetting about maybe not accidentally startling the young hero.

Her hand was caught midway to the hero, she gasped, her reflexes were still there. Her head was nonetheless limp and her left hand resting on her abdomen.

“W- who ar-” She grunted in pain again. Marinette shot forward to grab her before she could fall back.

“Hey, m-my name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you’re on my roof right now. Please let me help you” Through her strength, she opened one eye to look at her. And through her eyes, she could only see one thing.

Sincerity.

“Right- leg… anti” Her breathing grew slower, as if she were falling unconscious, Marinette had no idea if it would’ve been eternal.

But Marinette was able to determine what she had meant. Looking her over, she looked at her leg, her baggy clothes were slightly torn but that didn’t matter now, slipping her hand inside, she hoped Soliane wouldn’t mind her hand being cold, she tried searching for it, for her antidote.

Her fingertips tried reaching out until she felt smooth glass. Wrapping her fingers around and pulling it out she pulled it up for further inspection.

The writing around the glass wasn’t in French unlucky for her, however, there were pictures, she had to quickly conclude this would’ve been used for situations just like this.

The picture appeared to show that it should be drunken not spread on the wound, so she quickly unscrewed the cap. Looking back at the hero she could tell she had indeed turned paler, she wasn’t faring so well, she knew she needed to do it quick.

Tilting her head back so she could pour it down her throat, she could only pray that she wasn’t too late.

.

.

One minute.

.

.

Two minutes!

Why wasn’t anything happening!?

Marinette had to take a deep breath, maybe it would need some time to take an effect.

In the meantime, maybe she could look her over to see if there were any other injuries. And then maybe go downstairs to collect some supplies. Living as a baker meant she knew her way around burns, scars and scratches, so they were always prepared with a medical box in the kitchen.

Looking at her over appeared to be the right choice in action. Her lower abdomen had been hit, Marinette reasoned with herself that must have been why she had yet taken her handoff.

But as Marinette covered her own mouth with her hand, she was a gasped at how much blood there was.

Now what? She couldn’t tell her Parents, she loved them, she really did, but she knew how loud her Dad would get whenever he got happy, angry, or frightened, she knew it wouldn’t be a smart choice, especially with how jumpy the hero was. Not like she couldn’t blame her.

Then that would mean calling an ambulance might be out of the equation as well, plus the Soliane Rin may not want the publicity of her going to the hospital after only one day of patrolling. She knew if she had gotten cold feet or even hurt like this on her first day heroing they’d be a high chance of her giving up.

Well… She was a seamstress.

She had been doing it for a very long time, so she knew the ins and outs of sewing.

But still… It could be extremely risky, and she’d need to get consent first… But if she didn’t wake up… And she knew how open wounds could be, how dangerous it could be if they didn’t get any treatment, and how much trouble she’d be in if she accidentally killed the hero when trying to help her.

.

Well…

She had dreamed of some adventure in her life…

And she got her wish.

***

Stitch… Stitch…

Flick-

“Ahh!-”

“So-sorry”

Her prayers off Soliane Rin waking up were answered, after she had collected a few blankets, medical supplies, and a needle & thread, she had come back up.

Only to find Soliane on her balcony, if it wasn’t for her shock, she knew she would’ve screamed out zombie.

How she had the strength to get there she would never know, but she had to guess, heroes have all sorts of endurance.

She quickly sped to catch her. She did reprehend her of course; it was in her caring nature, so she just had to.

But… The way she weakly smiled at her, she couldn’t help feeling guilty, she probably was in so much pain and here she was berating her for- for what exactly.

This was why they had all left her. She was too quick to jump the gun, to jump to conclusions, too fast to even see from anyone else’s perspective.

Which is why she was a perfect target.

She lowered her onto her bed, careful not to hurt her anymore. Setting her down so she would’ve been comfortable, lots of pillows to help as well, she was glad she brought so many in her childhood. Or whenever her Nonna would come, she’d always get a new toy from her travels.

And that was when she set to work, conversing with her about what she may have to do, and as hesitant as Soliane was, she also knew there was no choice.

“Fine, I’ll trust you Marinette” Those words felt like a gift, in any other situation she would have been jumping for joy, getting acknowledged by a hero? That was amazing.

But- she really couldn’t celebrate, the look in Soliane Rin’s eyes, the were… Fearful. She knew she wasn’t trusted, yet. But she would prove it.

Snip, snip.

The room was silent, no words had been muttered or mentioned, Marinette was concentrating on her stitching, just hoping she wouldn’t hurt her anymore. She must have regretted her decision now, of course, she had, anyone with the right of mind would’ve. No wait- she didn’t mean it like that! She just meant-

“It’s not your fault. I- shouldn’t have let my guard down” It became silent again, and this time Marinette had a lot more to think about. There had been one thing that was stuck on her mind and couldn’t leave her mind.

“H-How did it happen?” She saw Soliane grab a nearby pillow even tighter than she had.

She knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut! It wasn’t her place to ask anyway.

Before she could utter any type of apology, she was stopped when she heard her start to speak.

“It was right after one-off my patrol routes. I was surveying the city, just in case, I needed to report anything else. I guess- due to this being my first time alone, as well as having previously prevented some other crimes, I would have to say I wasn’t in the same mindset.” Marinette stayed quiet so she could continue without pressure, she knew from personal experience how frustrating it could be to start talking and get interrupted by someone else, it was always a pet peeve of hers, making her not wanting to finish her story out of pettiness.

“So… When I was too busy with moving around on my wire. I was shot!” Marinette jolted away, she knew something drastic had to have happened, and she had tried to brace herself. But she couldn’t, it sounded so surreal.

“I was careless, it was such a stupid mistake, no novice would’ve been hurt like me” Marinette jumped again, she was so serious, and so… Angry with herself. But, she had just saved a bank from robbers, of course, she could’ve been tired, she was human after all.

“And due to my shock, I wasn’t able to pinpoint who it had been. A poisoned bullet had just barely scared me, and I was still affected by it… Sir would be so disappointed in me.”

The last stitch had been completed. She was done, now she just had to bandage it. She noticed Soliane seemed physically more relaxed.

“I should be going now, I’ve troubled you too much” She was trying to get up, but even the bluenette knew she would still be in pain for a while, just until she would get herself checked out, probably as her civilian self.

“No, you’re still hurt. If you move too early the stitches might come undone” She laid a gentle hand on her, just enough to draw attention to herself.

“But I must, I need to report back, besides, don’t you need to go to sleep?” Yeah but- the words paused in her throat, why could she say anything?

“You’ve already helped me so much, surely you’d prefer me to leave, it would be unbefitting for a hero to be seen so helpless for so long?” She saw it, her face, it was just like her a complete replica, always so helpful, to never think about yourself even when it could be life or death.

…Ok maybe that last part was a bit extreme.

“Hey, don’t try to suggest that, I could never think that! You still need help, just because you’re a hero doesn’t mean you can’t rely on anyone else.”

…Maybe it was her stubborn side, or even her Mother’s. But she couldn’t even think of the hero going out in that condition.

Grabbing her hand, she was adamant about letting Soliane Rin stay. So, she just told her.

Told her that she can’t just go out in that condition.

Told her that she needed to get better, because if she was still hurt, how could she save other people. And how she also needs to look after herself.

Told her that… She shouldn’t have so many expectations of her, because it won’t do her any good, mentality wise… And if the expectations become broken, she’d be unrightfully angry at herself.

Told her that- oh god she was arguing with a hero in her bedroom and she wasn’t saying anything.

She wasn’t saying anything! She’s just standing there looking at her. Never had Marinette wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out?

“I-I’m sorry, I should have never shouted like that, you were just doing your job and here I come saying you need to stop- wait not to stop I meant maybe slow down, although if you wanted to carry on then that’s fine by me. What am I saying you don’t need my permission; you don’t need anyone's! Do you-?” Her hands had been waving in front of her frantically. She just couldn’t imagine all of this would’ve been happening to her, her emotions were spreading out of control. She really needed to compose herself.

-

Wait, why did she grab her hand?

“I -ahem- it's fine, I’m incredibly humbled by your generosity. You have a big heart, not many have such kindness like you” She brought her hand closer to her mouth, and the blue-haired girls’ heart was pounding more and more.

“I shall stay” She pressed the hand to her mouth, a small feeling off lips against her skin sent shivers down her back while she held her gaze.

“So long as mi Belle stays with me” It took her a moment to compose herself. It took another to realise to she was talking about her… It to yet another to compose herself from that.

“Sou yure- I mean you show- ah, I’m mean. Yes.” Marinette felt as if she couldn’t say no, and yet, she didn’t feel uncomfortable, she felt accommodated. She believed if she had said no, she wouldn’t have felt pressured by the hero to stay.

And she smiled at that.

They both had.

So sincere.

***

The morning had come.

And not a moment too soon.

Light poured through her drawn curtains, and her first reaction was to grab the closest thing to plummet it towards the sun.

Not like that would’ve done anything mind you. It would’ve just been to make her point.

Rising up and stretching her arms, she headed down her steps, it had been a weekend, after all, she was allowed a lie in occasionally.

Although, she felt oddly a lot more refreshed than she had remembered, what had change-

Soliane Rin!?

Her head zoomed around the room, where- where was she?

No one was in the room besides her.

So- was it just a dream? Did she really see just imagine it all?

But she couldn’t have, wouldn’t that have just been too cruel, even for her?

Did the gods really hate her as well?

Wait-

That piece of paper wasn’t there before?

Stepping over to her desk, she gently picks it up, almost afraid she’d rip it up.

As her eyes traced over the first words, her mind relaxed.

‘Dear mi Belle, apologise for “dropping in unannounced” and to cause you such trouble. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine thanks to you, I’ll promise to be more careful next time, sincerely your local hero, Soliane Rin…’

Her heart fluttered in gratitude; those events were real. She really did meet her.

As her hands curled around the letter, she smiled. A true sincere smile.

Because after so long, she felt…

Hope.

***

*I absolutely suck at describing clothes, which is why I much prefer to draw instead, I literally have no idea what some clothes types are called so I always end up having to ask my Mum and even then, she doesn’t know half the time so I may end up not describing much clothing in the future so sorry.

Well, I hope you liked it, I do believe these chapters are gonna end up getting longer and longer. I know a few of them are but hopefully, you won’t mind that. It will just make my progress slow but hey I was always slow so it shouldn’t matter too much right? Anyway, well Marinette has met the hero and classmate, she’s definitely different to my other version. But I do hope you like both versions.

Oh, and I may need help with Jess/Jace. I know that she’s Native American, but I’m unsure if there’s any type of detail I must include for them, for example, I’m aware that they don’t cut their hair for symbolic reasons? I’m not even wholeheartedly sure about that. So, I would like to ask if there’s any information that I’m forgetting/missing and I would love to be informed, aka if I need to include a tribe, any type of clothing that would be appropriate to wear or activities they do. Sorry if it seems stupid, I just want to be informed and try my best to make an accurate representation. You can ask me questions, but I will apologise if I don’t understand them in advance. (Just so you know, I’m changing everyone’s design but I’m definitely changing her earrings, I just keep having images of someone pulling them out ugh, hence why I’ll never draw large earrings that people could grab)

Also, if you’re confused about anything feel free to ask any questions.

Cya next time.

Note: Please tell me if I should add anything else to the card, there will be one of these cards for all 15 chapters, however, because I have uni work all updates will be slower because I really need to focus on the uni stuff, then I might be able to upload quicker. They also may change in the future because I can never stop adding stuff.

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | nine

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.5k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, jealousy, alcohol consumption, dancing/event scene, a lil bit of that good ol’ phone sex

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish@photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You were a little relieved when Jungkook had mentioned that Jin and Grace wouldn't be able to make the charity event tonight. You weren't sure how you'd manage being in one place with all of them at the same time. Plus, your chaotic friends? Absolutely not.

Jungkook is driving you both to the campus event, with his hand resting contently on your thigh, the slit of your dress giving way to his large hand. You honestly really loved seeing his tattooed hand against your skin; it was attractive in many ways you couldn't explain. You donned a simple, satin black camisole dress with a cowl neck and slit to accentuate your legs. Jungkook wore a black turtleneck, slacks and a long blazer-like coat with black Chelsea boots.

If people were to see you together on the streets, you definitely would have looked like a serious couple who had been dating for years.

"Y/N!" Ryujin squeals as she runs [waddles] at you full throttle, heels on and all. She grips you into a tight hug, before smiling down at you and quickly observing your neck just to make sure. No, bitch. The hickeys are still gone! When she's satisfied with what she sees, she turns her attention towards Jungkook. "Jungkook! Wow you both are so fucking hot, it's insane." She grips onto his arms as she looks at up and down before pulling him into a hug.

"Definitely all Y/N, but thank you." He laughs as you both follow her. As you had entered the huge hall with high ceilings and old-fashioned chandeliers hanging, you caught a glimpse of Jimin and Taehyung in their suits. Boy, did your friends and Jungkook look fine as fuck tonight.

"Woah, you two." You hug Jimin and Taehyung before tugging on their blazers and fixing their cuffs.

"Like what you see?" Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows, making you shake your head. At this point, you've really run out of responses to clap back at him with. He came up with something new every time. "What's up, Jungkook?" Taehyung gently pushes you aside to casually greet Jungkook, along with Jimin.

"Dude, this charity event is way too fancy." Jimin laughed. "Majority of the people here are like, over 60 years old."

"Just wait, maybe more people from our class will show up." You chuckle. "It's for a good cause, I'm sure there's more people on the list than we think."

"Or maybe now, the party will finally start since Dj D-Sharp is setting up." Ryujin points to the DJ setting up his gear at the front of the hall.

"Fuck, finally." Jimin says, downing the champagne in his hand. You look at him, eyebrow raised because one, what kind of day did this dude have to be drinking like that? And two, he always drank alcohol like it was water, gulping it down in one motion. The fuck? "What?"

"What happened?" You chuckled, Jungkook's arm snaking around your waist as he talked to Ryujin and Tae next to you. He didn't seem too shy around them. Either that, or he just meshed well with your friends.

"Honestly, I'm just trying to feel good so I can call someone over to fuck." Your eyes widen. He was definitely allowed to drink more tonight, being that Taehyung offered to drive. Very unlike Jimin, but to each their own!

"Ohhhh, like that? Okay. Well, let's get you there then." You slowly nod in agreement. Remember, you always support your friends! [except Taehyung because that fool is dumb sometimes and he needed to deal with his own consequences] But especially Jimin; He needs some fun! You excuse yourself to get more alcohol with Jimin at the bar, Dj D-Sharp already starting to spin some ratchet, oakland-ish music even if the crowd was looking the way it was.

"You and Jungkook look nice together, Y/N." He says, clinking his glass against yours. "Seriously. He looks like a good guy." You smile toothlessly.

"Yeah, he is." No lie, Jungkook really was. Too good, almost. Every little thing he did made you feel guilty.

"One more? Should hold me out for awhile." You roll your eyes cause he was sure as hell lying, but you take the shot anyways. By the time you two are done making sour faces and sucking on limes, you begin to make your way back towards your date and friends.

And Seokjin and Grace, apparently?

You deadass almost stop in your tracks, noticing Jungkook speaking to Jin and hugging Grace tightly. The room feels like a sauna, and your throat feels like it's closing in on itself. This was the first time you were seeing her in person, and honestly, she was cute as hell. Suddenly, the guilt goes away and you feel.. bold. You want to tease Jin and you want him to want you, even given the circumstances we're in right now. You wanted him to want you so bad that he couldn't take it anymore.

"Bitch—" Ryujin places another shot glass in your hand. "I know you need this more than I do." You take it to the neck with ease like you weren't just making sour faces with Jimin minutes ago and place the empty glass on the table next to you. "I thought he wasn't coming!"

"I thought so too!"

"Oh, here! This is my date, Y/N." Jungkook happily swoops you by the waist and brings you forward to meet Grace.

"Uh, hi." You tuck a strand behind your ear, quickly glancing at Jin who is awkwardly standing there with his hands in his pockets. He simply looks at you, his hair swept and lightly gelled to the sides like it usually is and exposing his forehead; god, is he purely fuckable right now. Grace quickly catches the awkward look, but brushes it off and beams a big smile before opening her arms.

"Oh my god, she's so pretty Gookie!" She pulls you into a hug and you're internally screaming right now because what the fuck is even going on?! "Hi, I'm Grace. Jin's fiancé." She smiles from ear to ear.

"Mmm, yeah. I've heard a lot about you" You flash a toothless smile and nod. "Or a little." You clear your throat and mumble under your breath, shooting Jin another look. Ryujin is secretly pinching your back from behind for the unnecessary comment. Luckily, Grace doesn't hear the last statement, and giggles it off before swinging her arm around Jin's waist and placing her other hand against his chest. You hear Taehyung clear his throat behind you to break the awkward silence, so you shake your head and step aside for them to come into view. "This is Ryujin, Jimin and Taehyung." They all wave at her sweetly.

"Nice to meet you." Ryujin smiles before turning to your group. "Food, anyone? Looks like they set the trays of finger food down." She points to the table off towards the wall. Grace and Jin follow behind your group, Jungkook separating you from each other. Jin looks down to see Jungkook holding your hand tightly before his entire arm snakes up around your shoulders. He watches from behind as Jungkook feeds you with a small finger sandwich, you both laughing and smiling at each other.

Yeah, he shouldn't have come. Not if he was going to see this all night. But Grace had insisted being that she was finally home early for once.

You and Jungkook make your way to the dance floor to dance and keep it PG for the older audience around you. You still had fun, nonetheless, comfortably dancing and singing along to the songs with Jungkook. Occasionally, he'd wrap his arm around your neck as you both bounced to the beat and recited lyrics. You had fun with Jungkook. He was definitely into a lot of the same things you were, especially music-wise. It was easy to vibe with him. But the thing that separates him from Jin is the chase, the high of doing something so wrong but actually having it feel so goddamn right. Jungkook was like being served on a silver platter - prim and proper, easy.

For a minute, you're dancing with your friends, while Jungkook is dancing with Grace and Jin in front of your group. You figured you could start teasing Jin a bit more, playing this little game he absolutely couldn't stand. You smirk at Ryujin, who furrows her brows at you, confused at what you're trying to hint at here. Jimin and Taehyung are drunkily dancing, too busy woo'ing old ladies and buying alcohol for new friends they've been meeting.

You snake your arms around Jungkook, tugging him back towards you. He smiles as he turns and is now wrapping his arms around you. You both are slightly bouncing to the beat of the song while he looks down at you.

"What's up, pretty lady?" You pout.

"I just want a kiss."

"I think I can help with that." You tug onto the sides of his coat, tippy-toeing up to plant a good, soft kiss on his lips.

"I know she isn't right now." Ryujin says to herself, keeping her gaze on you as she dances awkwardly off beat since she's too busy watching you. She was 100% fully aware of what you were doing; You didn't need to tell her twice.

"Jeez, what happened? You're normally a good dancer." Taehyung says getting in her view, causing her to shove him aside.

"Out of my face!" She groans.

Jin occasionally glanced at you and Jungkook every time Grace had been looking away, feeling completely bothered. He caught you staring back at him with a small smirk over Jungkook's shoulder when he came down to envelope you in his long arms. He wasn't trying to play with you right now, and if he could, he'd probably take your ass to the car and fuck you senseless in that dress.

"Why are you being so cute?" Jungkook chuckles as he turns you around so he can hug you from behind and place kisses on your temple, you both now facing toward Jin and Grace.

"Just wanted a little attention." He sneaks a kiss onto your neck, causing you to close your eyes at the feeling of his lips against the surface of your skin. Suddenly, you feel the urge to head to the bathroom, the alcohol begging to be released from your body. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom really quickly."

"Want me to come with and wait for you?" You shook your head and pointed to your friends.

"I'll be good. Make sure you watch these drunkies, though." He nods and joins your friends on the dance floor. You actually really need to fucking pee, and the restroom inside the hall is out of service, leaving one stall available and a long line to accompany it. So, you exit the hall and turn to head towards the student center, where the bathrooms were located just around the corner. You felt like a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders when you broke the seal, making you sigh contently as you flush the toilet and wash up in front of the mirrors. As you're happily making your way back, you feel hands grip your wrist and pull you under a dimly lit corner by the bathroom, completely isolated and almost eerie.

This was it. This is where your life comes to an end—

"Y/N." You hear Jin's voice breathily call your name.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Talking to you." His face slightly comes under the only small, weak light plastered on the building wall. "What does it look like?" You feel yourself getting weak, examining the sharp features on his face - his lips and how plump they are, his jaw, his eyes.

"I didn't know you were coming." You say softly.

"I didn't either." He pulls you closer to him, the both of you now in the dark and away from the dim light. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you." You feel his hand come down to the small of your back as he gently presses you against him.

"You know what you're doing." He says, almost at a whisper, sending chills down your spine. "You look beautiful tonight."

"You don't look too bad yourself, Kim."

"Your dress—" He leans forward to whisper in your ear. "Your dress makes me want to do so many things to you." You let out a breath, your pussy throbbing at the way he's speaking to you.

"We should get back before anyone realizes we've been gone for too long." You say lowly, your lips only inches away from his.

"Yeah, we should." He responds, but his lips are only getting closer to yours and you do nothing to stop it. You return the kiss, your hands gripping at his blazer as you bring him closer. The only sounds filling the air are the wet, slow kisses being exchanged between you and Seokjin.

"Jin, stop. No." You gently push him away, your hands pressed against his chest. "Don't. Not here." You look at him before walking off.

Fuck.

Even if your ass went home with Jungkook tonight, you couldn't even see yourself fucking him because of Seokjin solely. You were too caught up and that was the fucking truth. There was no way you were unraveling from his finger. He had you wrapped tightly and you had no intention of even trying to let that shit go.

That's the tea. The honest tea.

"What happened?" Jungkook comes to you, feeling how cold your skin is as he rubs his hands down your arms.

"Had to take a detour." You nodded towards the line at the hall bathroom.

"Shit, sorry babygirl. You should have used my jacket."

"I'm okay. Thank you." You smile, gently squeezing his hand before making your way to your friends. Sooner or later, all of you decide to call it a night being that the crowd is slowly dying and you've all had your fill. Jungkook says bye to Jin and Grace, with you following. Jin keeps his eyes on you, even as you're walking away and out of the hall.

He really hopes you aren't staying with Jungkook tonight.

And, you're not. Jungkook simply drives you home and walks you up to your apartment like he usually does. He gives you a peck on the lips outside of your door before he's able to finally pull away from the hug he has you in and wish you goodnight. You had fun, and it gave you butterflies thinking about tonight. But you weren't exactly thinking about your friends and Jungkook and all that cute shit; you were thinking about how you succeeded, with Jin pulling you aside to lay some kisses on you even with the environment you two were in. Risky shit. Risky business. You fucking loved it.

You decide to pick yourself up out of the long, steamy, hot bath you soaked yourself in for the past 30 minutes or hour, you aren't even sure anymore. Your body felt relaxed and you felt like you could go to sleep peacefully. You lathered your body in some lotion, happily slipping your naked body under the covers. Sometimes, you just needed to do this every once in awhile. Show some love to your body, let it free. Your duvet covers felt nice against your skin, with you sinking in deeper until the comforter hugged every inch of your body.

As you were about to go to sleep, your phone flashed an incoming call across the screen. An incoming call you almost expected after tonight.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Jin's voice is deep and husky on the other end, causing you to bite your lip at how awfully sexy he sounds. It instantly reminds you of the way he groans your name. Quite frankly, it's turning you on.

"Why are you calling?"

"Can't sleep."

"I'm assuming Grace is asleep already."

"Yeah, she is." You hear him fiddling in the background, door softly shutting as he makes his way around the house and out to his car. Jin sits in the driver's seat just so he can talk to you without having to quiet himself down. Truthfully, he just wanted to hear your voice. "Did you enjoy tonight?"

"Yeah, it was enjoyable at best. Did you?"

"Besides the fact that I had to watch Kook be all up on you, I guess it was alright."

"Jealousy honestly looks good on you." You joke.

"It's not funny, Y/N."

"Boohoo." You sarcastically respond, chuckling.

"Yeah, keep it up. What are you doing?" You bit your bottom lip, excited to get him started again.

"I'm in bed. Naked."

"Mmm." He breathily responds. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't tell me these things."

"But I am. Why would I hide it? You've seen me naked."

"That doesn't help anything." You're honestly feeling yourself right now, and you're pretty fucking horny hearing his voice alone. You wanted him badly, but you couldn't have him. You just wanted to feel him after tonight, be in his arms, have him tug on your hair - all that good good. Teasing was the next best thing you could do, an added bonus if he could make you cum over the phone.

"Jin." You say softly.

"Mhm?"

"I want you." It's silent for a moment before he sighs and lightly groans.

"Y/N, god. Please don't."

"I wish you could fuck me right now." You hear him mumble a quick 'fuck' before he's sighing again.

"Are you touching yourself?"

"What would you do if I said yes?"

"Let me hear you." You bite your bottom lip as you're actually moving your fingers in circular motions on your clit, a heel planted on the bed to give yourself more room. You moan into the phone, Jin staying completely quiet on the other end. You weren't sure if he was joining along, but whatever, fuck it. You were just worried about cumming at this point, whether he came with you or not.

"I want you to fuck me so bad. I want you to—mmmmfff." You lightly moan. "I want you to fill me up, and fuck me from behind. And pull on my hair like you do."

"Fuck, Y/N." He breathes as he begins to palm himself. "I swear I'm gonna fuck you so good the next time I can have you to myself." You start to insert a digit into your wet pussy, the sounds filling the air. You had shut your eyes, imagining that Jin was there the entire time with his plump lips pressed against your clit, causing you to moan loudly once more into the phone. The sounds of your wetness against your fingers loudly fills the room, you're sure Jin can hear it.

"Can you hear how wet you make me?"

"You're so fucking hot." He softly groans. "Wanna feel you so bad." You start to pick up the pace with your fingers, alternating between pumping them in and spreading your wetness out on your folds before rubbing on your clit.

"Wanna feel you deep inside of me, hitting my spot." You whine. "God, I'm gonna cum just thinking about it."

"Yeah?" You feel yourself getting close, only moments away before you tip and hurl over the edge. "Cum for me, baby. I wanna hear you." Jin is so fucking turned on right now just hearing you, and it's taking everything in him not to drive off and head to your place. He will literally blow his load right into his boxer briefs with the way you're talking and moaning for him. He quietly sits as he continues to palm and slowly jerk himself off in the car, listening to the way you're moaning loudly over the phone, calling his name along with cuss words trailing. He tilts his head back in pleasure, his eyes shut as he listens to your tone increase, signaling that you were about to cum.

"Ughhhhhgggfuck." You say as you let your body tremble freely, aftershocks rippling through your body as you release your fingers.

"Fuck." You hear Jin groan. "Thanks, now I have to clean myself up."

"You're welcome."

"I wanna see you soon."

"I don't know how you're going to make that happen."

"I'll find a way, I always do. Will you let me come see you?"

"Yeah." Is all you say, because you do want to see him. You do want to be with him and you do want to be in his arms.

"Okay." It's silent for a minute before he chimes in again. "I'll let you get some sleep, I need to get back inside anyways."

"Mmmkay." You hum.

"Night, pretty girl."

"Goodnight to you too, Jin." You sit your phone back onto your night stand before getting up to wash yourself up once again. At this point, you weren't even sure of your own feelings. Did you just enjoy fucking Seokjin because of the thrill and all the risks? Or, were you actually falling for him? There were so many things that you didn't entertain with Jungkook or other men because you couldn't see it being anyone else other than Jin. You wanted him to hold you, you wanted him to cater to you, you wanted him. But you always had to come to terms with the painful truth.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Silver Mist - part 3/3 - ao3  or tumblr pt 1, pt 2

warning: adult content, read the ao3 tags

Every enchantment had a weak point.

There was a reason there were more cultivators than foxes out there, why even the cleverest fox had to hide behind a human mask and pretend to some level of decency – why Nie Huaisang had been so careful with playing with his brother, his most favorite and most precious of people. There would come a time when he got weakened, or distracted, or something, and suddenly all his enchantments would slip through his fingers, breaking down, and he’d be left with nothing but what he earned fair and square.

(Nie Huaisang’s mother, the second Madame Nie, had disappeared right after he’d been born, and yet it was Nie Mingjue’s mother that everyone said went away, that everyone recalled leaving, not his – his mother was the one they all said had died.)

Nie Huaisang lived in fear of that moment.

When his brother burned his fans in a rage, he thought – this is it. He’s remembered.

He hates me now.

It was all so very frustrating, too, because he’d finally settled everything just the way he liked it: his da-ge in his life and in his bed, feeding him with his heart and body and happy to see him flourish. It was all he needed in life, just that and nothing more. Sure, Nie Huaisang loved the gifts his brother’s sworn brothers brought for him – he’d always been spoiled beyond belief, and never saw any reason to change. It was ironic, really, that it was Jin Guangyao’s gifts that his brother always found fault with, not Lan Xichen’s which were just as multitudinous, but perhaps it was because he needed to wheedle and whine and beg for gifts from Jin Guangyao.

With Lan Xichen, he just needed to smile.

(Lan Xichen was always weak to a smile. Back at the Cloud Recesses, during the war, his weak protests had died at once at the sight of a smug little curl of the lip as Nie Huaisang pressed him down and climbed on top of him –)

Lan Xichen’s ears didn’t turn red the way Lan Wangji’s did, nor did he duck his head and grin the way Wei Wuxian did, Nie Huaisang observed judiciously, but that didn’t mean he could hide his embarrassment at the very sight of Nie Huaisang, and that made it very easy indeed to talk him into buying Nie Huaisang all the gifts he could possibly want with barely any protest. Maybe a But your brother - that quickly cut off when Nie Huaisang pressed his fan to his lips, but nothing more, and then he’d go above and beyond to find an excuse to take Nie Huaisang shopping for anything that caught his eyes.

But Jin Guangyao…

Sometimes Nie Huaisang would swear that his san-ge gave him all those gifts in front of his da-ge on purpose, the sneaky little minx, even though he knew Nie Mingjue would only rage at him for it.

Nie Huaisang’s presents burned, and he shouted and screamed and fled and cried, and he waited in his da-ge’s bedroom shivering in fear but unwilling to back down. He was a Nie, after all, and being a fox didn’t make him any less that.

“Huaisang?” his brother said, coming in through the door.

He looked – tired.

Tired, not angry; his eyes were bloodshot and he appeared to be in pain – his da-ge, his brave and bold da-ge who feared nothing, in pain!

“Da-ge, what’s wrong?” Nie Huaisang said fitfully, deciding to ignore… everything, at least for the moment. “Why are you like this? What happened?”

“I don’t –” His brother rubbed at his face. “I don’t know. I – I got so angry –”

His nose was bleeding, Nie Huaisang noticed, and frowned. “Da-ge?”

Maybe this wasn’t about what he’d been doing at all.

“Da-ge, come here,” he said, and his brother came to him. “Lie down,” he said, and his brother obeyed, free and clear and of his own volition. “What’s wrong with you?”

“The saber spirit,” Nie Mingjue said dully, staring up at the ceiling. “I thought I’d have longer.”

Nie Mingjue had never explained the exact details of their family’s cultivation technique, only postponed discussing it, and so Nie Huaisang had known there was something wrong with it – his brother only ever shared good things with him, while shielding him from the bad. He’d taught him everything he could, omitting only the last few details, and thus it was in those details that the problem lay.

As if Nie Huaisang couldn’t guess, when every generation of his ancestors had died from a qi deviation.

He scowled.

“It can’t be,” he said, settling down next to his brother on the bed. “You haven’t even been cultivating it that much, recently. Not more than your usual training.”

“Maybe it’s the war?” his brother wondered aloud. “After-effects, only becoming apparent once my cultivation increased further –”

“But the recent increase in your cultivation isn’t even because of saber cultivation!” Nie Huaisang argued. “You’ve been helping me, instead; it’s completely different, a totally different approach. A problem with one method wouldn’t affect an increase in your cultivation through another.”

His brother frowned.

“Huaisang,” he said, his brow furrowing, his eyes clear and thinking – thinking and realizing. “Your new cultivation ‘technique’…”

…oops.

“It’s only because I love you so much, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said at once, immediately pulling himself up and over to straddle on Nie Mingjue’s lap. It gave him an unfortunate view into the expression of shock and no little bit of horror currently forming on his brother’s face, but he needed any advantage he could get – he wouldn’t be able to pull his brother into the trance state like this, not when he’d realized, not when he was fully sober. Nie Huaisang had gotten stronger since they’d started this, but not strong enough to beat his brother when his brother was trying. “Haven’t I been good to you? Don’t I show you how much I love you?”

“Huaisang! There are – you can’t – you’re not allowed to love me that much!”

“Why not?” Nie Huaisang said, and when his da-ge tried to sit up he put his hand on his chest and pushed him back down. Maybe it was the angle, maybe it was the surprise, maybe it was just that his brother wasn’t really trying, but he managed it, and immediately a short sharp shock went straight to his cock. “Why not? Who’s it hurting?”

“Who is it – me! You’re doing it to me!”

“And sometimes you do it to me, what’s your point?” Nie Huaisang said, breezing past the fact that his brother wasn’t referring to penetration at all. “If we keep it discreet, no one will learn from our bad example, and you weren’t really looking for a spouse anyway, were you? You always wanted to leave the sect to me. Why shouldn’t I have you? I want you.”

“Huaisang –”

Nie Huaisang ground his hips down and felt the answering twitch. “It’s too late, anyway,” he said, and his brother stared up at him. “Look at you. I’ve already ruined you – you’ve got my words in your brain, in your core. You’ve had my cock up your ass and you’ve loved it, you get hard just thinking about my cock in your mouth –”

“Because you put it in my head.”

“Just because I put it there doesn’t mean it’s not still there,” Nie Huaisang said, and leaned forward to press his lips to his brother’s neck. “It’s still in there, da-ge. And if it is, then what’s the point of not letting me have you? Haven’t I been taking good care of you, all this time? And look at where it’s gotten us: you sleep better, you eat better, you have the strength to train, I’m stronger than ever before… I’m a good didi, da-ge, I’m your good didi.”

His brother was weakening. Nie Huaisang could feel it in his heartbeat.

“You didn’t take advantage of me,” he whispered, intimate as the lover he had made himself into. “I took advantage of you. There’s nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be guilty for. The act’s already been done, plenty of times – the line’s been crossed, and there’s no going back. There’s only the way forward.”

“Huaisang…”

“Don’t I have your heart?” Nie Huaisang demanded. His fingernails were like claws where they dug into his brother’s chest as if to rip it out himself, his teeth like fangs filling his mouth; he didn’t know what his face looked like right now and he didn’t care. He wanted, he wanted, he wanted – a cultivator as righteous as his brother would be a prize for any fox, any yao, any creature bent against humanity, but all Nie Huaisang wanted was what his brother had always given him freely. “You love me, you love me. Give me your heart and I’ll be happy. Da-ge, I’ll be so happy, you don’t even know, it’s everything I’ve always wanted and more. You give me anything and everything, you always have. Give me this, too.”

“I can’t,” his brother whispered, and it was only I can’t because he couldn’t make it I won’t. “Huaisang…”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Nie Huaisang coaxed him. “I know you love me, and that’s enough. You don’t have to go against everything you are, da-ge, I’d never ask that of you. All I need you to do – the only thing you need to do – you know already, don’t you? You know what you need to do for me.”

Nie Mingjue did know.

All he had to do was let go, give in, and let the words already swirling beneath his skin come to the surface, sink willingly down into the quiet world where Nie Huaisang was master absolute, and Nie Huaisang would make sure that he never felt bad about any of it. Not ever again.

“Give me your heart,” Nie Huaisang said. “Please, da-ge.”

His da-ge’s heart, whole and entire with nothing held back, was the best thing he’d ever gotten.

-

The art of deception was misdirection.

Change one thing in a room at a time, and in time no one would notice that they were in a different room entirely. Set water simmering slowly, and the crabs would cook without ever thinking of escape. Dress up as a god and play the demon to confuse –

Nie Huaisang knew how to play with the hearts of men, for good or for evil, and in comparison their eyes were nothing much. A talisman for illusions, a mimicry of mannerisms – it was easy enough to pretend to be his brother, who was sleeping so sweetly in his bed. A deep sleep, a healing sleep; his poor brother’s meridians were all twisted up into something like a nightmare, but it wasn’t anything that they couldn’t straight out over time, together. All he needed was some sleep and some peace, and Nie Huaisang could give him both, so he did.

His brother had stirred briefly, hearing the siren call of duty, but Nie Huisang was a better siren by far. He promised him that it would be handled, and his brother trusted him to see it done – and he would.

No one knew that the Nie listening coldly to their requests wasn’t the right one.

Not even Jin Guangyao, who came with his head bowed and his demeanor meek, setting up his guqin to play music designed to provide clarity – he expected Nie Mingjue to be there, steady as a rock and just as unshakable, and so, to all appearances, he was. There was no reason to check any further.

He played.

Nie Huaisang listened, his eyes narrowing in a smile – oh, san-ge, he sighed. Oh, Meng Yao.

I always knew we were too much the same.

He did nothing, though, nothing but wait for the song to finish and Jin Guangyao to take his leave, bowing, and then he said, “Will you spend some time with Nie Huaisang today, before you return? He’s still upset from yesterday and not speaking to me.”

Why would he be speaking to his da-ge now? His brother was asleep, just as he ought to be, and speaking to him would only wake him.

Jin Guangyao had been expecting this, too. “Of course, da-ge,” he murmured, and Nie ‘Mingjue’ scowled, Nie Huisang scowled – no one who wanted to really hurt his brother deserved to use that term.

“Dismissed,” he said, and waited until Jin Guangyao left to remove the disguise, drifting out after him, calling, “San-ge!”

Jin Guangyao turned with a smile and Nie Huaisang threw himself forward, wrapping himself around his sworn brother-by-proxy’s dominant arm – he could use both, but he had a preference if you cared to look – and immediately burst out into chatter, complaints and stuff and nonsense, wailing on and on and on about how wronged he had been.

His voice modulated itself into a melody, the cadence quickening and slowing, rising and falling, infused with his own very special cultivation, and it wasn’t that much different from what it normally was – and Jin Guangyao wasn’t really listening to him anymore, anyway, not any more than it took to respond with a few hums of sympathy and the occasional word of consolation.  Why would he? The situation wasn’t anything different from normal, from the boring and mundane and uninteresting, what with there being complaining and whining and Nie Huaisang, a younger brother that he trusted, even if only to be a complete idiot. Absolutely harmless.

Jin Guangyao wasn’t the cultivation genius Nie Mingjue was, but he’d had a very long way to go to catch up; he wouldn’t have made it to where he was now if he hadn’t taught himself the habit of constantly cultivating, drawing in qi from the outside and channeling it inwards. He did so now, unconsciously, spreading the effect throughout his entire body, pulling him inch by inch into something nice and comfortable, pleasantly restful.

There was no need for schemes with Nie Huaisang, after all. He was so silly, so useless; he couldn’t even really be used, only indulged, like the little brother Meng Yao had never been able to afford to have growing up. Look at how dependent he was: scared to do anything else, wholly in the palm of his hand.  

There was nothing to fear.

There was only –

Listening.

Give me your heart.

[lovelucybradford]

I Pretend You’re Mine-2

Chapter Two: We Learn to Live with the Pain (Mosaic Broken Hearts)

Masterlist

A/N: Thanks so much for all of your support on Chapter One. I’m so excited that you love it as much as I do! Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for this story. Also, not sure how I feel about this one. Be warned: I hate Jennifer Blake.

Derek and Rose’s ‘engagement’ was supposed to stay a secret between the four of them. So, naturally, all of her friends knew about it. Even if she tried (and she really, really wanted to) Rosalie couldn’t push the thought of the upcoming ruse to the back of her mind. Her friends wouldn’t let her.

It started out innocently enough. A ‘Hey Rosie, Derek looks hot, don’t you think’ here or a ‘Friends to lovers is the best, right Rosalie’ there. Rosalie was used to it. Ever since she returned to Beacon Hills and became close with all of Lydia’s friends, who had somehow become Derek’s in the span of years, they’d been relentless with their teasing of Derek and her.

The joking she could handle.

It was when they used Rosalie’s feelings for Derek for their own amusement that it really started to bug her.

Wednesday had been the day from hell. It all started in Rosalie’s first period class. One of her more bold students, captain of the lacrosse team, had greeted her not with his normal, ‘What up, Miss H?’. No, the boy strutted right in, stopped at her desk, and said, ‘How’s it going, Mrs. Hale?’ with a shit-eating grin. Alex Layhue was normally the last to arrive to class, right before the late bell rang, so, of course, all of Rose’s other students had heard him. And began to refer to her as Mrs. Hale. Which had spread like wildfire, and then all of the kids called Rosalie by Derek’s surname.

 It only stopped once she’d threatened detention. By the time eighth period was over, Rosalie was fuming and ready to stomp right out onto the lacrosse field to give her good friend, Assistant Lacrosse Coach Scott McCall, a piece of her mind. Instead, Rosalie raced out the door as soon as she was allowed to leave, forgoing her normal after-school visit to Derek’s classroom.

Rosalie’d reached her apartment, eternally thankful that the shitshow was over, when she had spotted it: a poorly taped rose on the front door, with a sign next to it. A rather crude sign.

Congrats on the D(erek). Love, Isaac. The words were bad enough. Isaac had to go and include a rather accurate drawing of Derek as a, um, d.

She had ripped the sign off the front door, threw it into the wastebasket under the kitchen sink, then punched the damned thing a few more times for good measure.

Then, Rose had called and screamed at Isaac. She couldn’t remember what was said in her anger, but Rosalie knew that a few choice words were thrown in, along with ‘obscene’, ‘tasteless’ and ‘terrible friend’.

Isaac showed up at the woman’s front door an hour after the ‘conversation’ holding a bottle of wine in one hand and takeout in another, a guilty smile on his face. Rosalie forgave him. Eventually.

That night, she’d had a very vivid dream about Derek’s dick. Rosalie woke up the next morning, covered in sweat, and knew that if she saw Derek she would spontaneously combust, and, well, other things that she didn’t want to even ponder.

So, Rosalie spent the rest of the week eating lunch in her car, leaving right after the final bell, and basically avoiding her best friend at all costs.

Until today. Rosalie had been waiting all week to watch this movie, and she would be damned if the deafening bang of construction across the street from her apartment building would keep her from Peter Kavinsky.

The door to the loft slid open, and Derek sauntered in, hands full with grocery bags. He paused at the sight of Rosalie, his face contorted in disgust.

“Get that shit off my TV!” he grumbled.

Rosalie paused the movie, looking up at him with a sharp glare. “It is not shit, Derek Sebastian Hale. It is romance. You wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass.”

Derek scoffed. “Oh yeah? Remember, my senior year, when I showed up in front of my ex’s house all John Hughes-like and quoted Shakespeare at her like a total douche?”

“Mmm, yeah. And that went over swimmingly, didn’t it, Romeo? I specifically remember having to clean the cut on your forehead from the rock that she threw at you.” Rosalie snorted.

 Derek ignored her, hauling the bags into the kitchen and shoving items into cabinets. Rose joined him, grabbing a bag of refrigerated foods. As she pulled out the milk, a slip of paper flittered to the ground. She reached down to grab it, stopping short when she found that a phone number was written on the back of the receipt.

“Elena Soto gave you her phone number?” Rosalie asked Derek.

Damn. Rosalie suspected that Elena was after Derek since the day that the new Spanish teacher started at BHHS. Two weeks ago. Girl had game, Rosalie gave her that.

Derek put down the box of noodles in his hand and scratched the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at his friend. Rosalie could see a hint of pink on his cheekbones and wondered if the man had actually gotten a sunburn after years of making fun of her for her lobster-tone skin in the summertime.

“Yeah. She, uh, asked me out to dinner next Saturday night.”

Rosalie straightened herself back up and busied with putting food in the fridge. She feigned nonchalance, asking, “And what did you say?”

“I told her thank you, but I’ll be in Hawaii… with you.”

The woman hid her smug smile in the inside of the refrigerator. Serves Elena right. “I thought you’d forgotten. Since you haven’t, you know, even brought it up since Disneyland.”

“I didn’t forget. And it’s not like you brought it up, either.”

True. Rosalie was avoiding that discussion like the plague. She knew that she’d be able to pull of fake fiancée. She’d had feelings for Derek that were successfully repressed since she was sixteen. But Derek… he’d made it very clear that he felt nothing more than familial love towards Rosalie. How could he convincingly play madly in love with her?

“I’m sorry I cockblocked your hot date with Senorita Soto,” Rose confessed, tone sounding more harsh than intended.

“Rosalie.”

She pulled her head out of the fridge and shut the door. The BB-8 magnet her  niece bought him at Disney was displayed proudly towards the top. Rosalie studied it as an excuse to not look at Derek, lest he catch onto her jealousy.

She was losing her touch. Rosalie had built an excellent poker face over the years, and she let her friends’ suggestions and one bold woman break it. Rose had to up her game.

“Rosalie, you know I didn’t mean it like that. It’s why I didn’t bring Elena up. You’re my best friend. You know I’d do anything for you.”

Rosalie smiled deviously up at him, all thoughts of Elena Soto gone and replaced again with Peter Kavinsky. “Does that include watching my romcom?”

Derek rolled his eyes with a playful smile. He eventually gave in after Rose told him she would buy them a pizza.

___________

 Rosalie tried to enjoy the movie, but one thought plagued her mind like some annoyingly catchy song.

 Fake dating contract. It was so cringey she didn’t want to bring it up. But she did anyways.

 “Hey Derek? This sounds so stupid, but since you and I are two adults playing pretend, don’t you think you and I should, you know, come up with rules for our charade?” Rosalie shoved pizza in her face to distract herself from any comment that would come next.

Derek laughed. “Yeah, ok, Lara Jean Comey.”

“It’s Covey, not Comey… and I’m serious, Der. You and I have both been shit on by our significant others. Don’t you think it would be good for us to come up with some kind of guidelines, so this doesn’t get out of hand and neither of us get hurt?”

Derek sighed, putting his plate down on the coffee table and giving Rosalie his full attention. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Rosalie bit her lip, thinking. When she came up with nothing, she asked, “Do you have any dealbreakers?”

“I’m not making Drew jealous,” he swiftly announced.

Rosalie’s eyes shot up to his. “I’m not in love with Drew anymore, so there’s no need to make him jealous.”

“Thank God. What about you?”

She ignored the former comment. Rose did have a dealbreaker. She knew it would sound totally prudish on her end, but Rosalie knew her limits.

“No… No kissing.”

“What do you mean no kissing? Like, I can’t kiss you at all, or no tongue? Because I sure as hell know that we won’t be believable if I can’t kiss you.”

“And how would you know that?”

Derek pursed his lips. “I remember having an in-depth conversation with your brother about how gross you and Drew were together.”

Rosalie gaped at him. “And you didn’t stick your tongue down Jennifer’s throat at your engagement party?! It was like witnessing some messed-up porno. And, in my defense, Drew initiated every public—”

“I did not have my tongue down Jen’s throat!”

“Then why did Laura tell you two to get a room?”

Derek scowled. “Moving on…”

“Ok, rule 1: yes, to kissing. No tongue.” Rose ticked on her finger. “Two, no checking out other women. Like, at all.”

“You think I would do that when I’m engaged? I’m not a total dick.”

“I know that Derek. I’m just saying, when you were younger—”

“When I was younger. I’ve matured a lot since I was eighteen.”

She smacked his shoulder playfully. “You sure about that, Mr. I-throw-a-tantrum-every-time-I-lose-to-Scott-at-pool?”

“Shut up.”

“You can’t deny it, Hale. I know you too well… anything else to add?”

“No sex,” Derek said so suddenly that Rosalie about fell out of her spot on the couch.

“I…” She started, but couldn’t formulate a sentence, so she just nodded her agreement.

They sat in silence for a while, Rosalie processing what the hell happened.

“Let me warn you now. I don’t know how to be a good fiancé,” Derek added so softly that Rosalie might have missed it if she wasn’t so in tune with him.

“Derek…” She looked up to meet his green eyes, full of turmoil, of ghosts of past hurts. A haunted look that Rosalie knew too well. Only because she wore it too, late at night when she was alone with her demons.

Rosalie’s heart broke for him, and she pulled him into a hug. Derek was rarely vulnerable, preferring to keep those emotions locked tight. Rosalie was thankful that he opened himself up enough to let her see that side of him.

“You were a good fiancé, Der. It wasn’t your fault, that it ended. Jennifer was a bitch… I knew she wasn’t good for you,” Rosalie whispered into his shoulder, squeezing him tight so he knew that she meant every word.

Derek’s hot breath fanned over Rose’s neck as he spoke. “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

She pulled away from him, leaving her hands on his shoulders. Rosalie set him with an unimpressed look. “Would you have listened?”

Derek shook his head, a small smile overtaking the once hard line of his lips. “Nah, probably not.”

___________________________________________________________

Tags: @wolfarrowepz​

[love-little-lotte]

Ranking the Bridgerton Books

I know I should write this in my book blog, but frankly, I have no idea how to make another section for it, and I'm too lazy to research. So, I'm writing here. Please bear with me.

Recently, I read the Bridgerton books by Julia Quinn. You might be familiar with the first book since it was adapted into a popular Netflix series by Shonda Rhimes. I binge-watched it back in December, and I have to say... not a fan. I guess I just find it too cheesy and annoying. Plus, the actors who portrayed Daphne and Simon had no romantic chemistry whatsoever.

But I'm not here to talk about the TV show. I'm here to talk about the novels! This is actually not my first time reading the books. Well, not exactly. I've read six out of the eight novels when I was in high school, I believe. I found the books when I was in high school as it was in the library (please don't ask me why my high school library has smutty novels in it, I have no idea who's in charge - they had Fifty Shades of Grey for a week but they eventually removed it from the catalog when they learned what's it about, but I digress). As a fifteen-year-old girl, the series hooked me.

If you're not familiar with the books or the Netflix series, here's a short synopsis: Set in the Regency era, the Bridgertons are one of the most influential families of the ton. The books follow the love stories of the eight Bridgerton siblings, alphabetically named Anthony, Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, and Hyacinth.

I didn't read it in chronological order back then, though. I just borrowed any available Bridgerton book in the library if there's one. You might think I was too young to read a romantic novel like that, but I guess I was mature enough to understand it.

Rereading it now that I'm twenty-two (cue Taylor Swift!), my heart's not in the same place. I was more skeptical with the writing, the story, and, most especially, the characters. But, really, I'm not that heartless, so I will cut the author some slack. Quinn wrote this at a different time for a different audience. It's not that long ago, but you'd be surprised how fast things change.

However, even though I have major criticisms, I cannot stop reading them. There's something about the novels that put me in a chokehold. Despite everything, I was able to enjoy it overall. This series is the definition of "guilty pleasure."

Anyway, here's my ranking of the Bridgerton books! I only read the eight main ones, which means I didn't include novellas of any kind. Also, as a fair warning, I might discuss spoilers and whatnot, so please beware. And do keep in mind that I'm writing my opinion, so if you don't agree, well... tough. I'd like to hear your comments, though, if you have any.

#8 - An Offer From A Gentleman (Book 3)

Honestly, this was probably one of my favorite Bridgerton books when I was younger. A Cinderella retelling? Come on! As someone who loves fairytales and forbidden romances, this was supposed to be heaven. However... it was not.

Benedict may be my least favorite Bridgerton brother. No, scratch that - he is my least favorite Bridgerton out of all of them. He's whiny and creepy and I was plainly annoyed with how he keeps asking Sophie to be his mistress in the novel. This was not the gentleman I imagined when I was younger. I might have liked him more in the first few parts, but as the story progressed, he became too childish and obsessive. Sophie, on the other hand, was all right. She's definitely one of my favorite Bridgerton heroines. She was tough but kind in her own way. I wish she had a better partner than Benedict, but I guess they suit each other in the end.

I just detest the climax and the ending of this book. It was too comical - and not in a hilarious way. I guess the same could be said for the entire novel. This was so, so different from the rest, to be honest.

Overall Rating: 3/10

#7 - On The Way To The Wedding (Book 8)

Fun fact: this is the first Bridgerton novel I read. And even then, I wasn't a huge fan of it. Just like An Offer From A Gentleman, the climax was a bit silly but more in a soap opera level than comical.

The biggest factor why I didn't like this was the characters. They were all so bland. Especially our hero and heroine. Gregory is the least featured Bridgerton in the novel, so I don't really know what to make of him at the beginning of the novel. In his book, I learned that he was a good guy - and that's all. Maybe he's too young and naive when it comes to romance (which is endearing, I have to admit), but he has no interesting personality whatsoever. Lucy, the heroine in this novel, was the same. She was described as pragmatic and sensible, which perfectly sums her up. Also, she's a great friend to Hermione (whose last name is Watson, by the way, and you can't tell me otherwise that this isn't a Harry Potter reference - Hermione Granger and Emma Watson? If that's not a reference, well, that's a very crazy coincidence, but I digress again). Gregory and Lucy's story was average - not bad, not good, just so incredibly dull.

The fun parts started way too early. It was difficult to find intrigue in the middle and end bits. The second main conflict, which happened near the end of the book, was truthfully not that good and was just obviously a ploy to keep things longer. You'd think that the Bridgerton novels would end the series with a bang. Alas, it did not.

Overall Rating: 4/10

#6 - To Sir Phillip, With Love (Book 5)

Eloise finally gets her turn in her own love story. She used to be one of my favorite Bridgertons, but when she got her own story, she was reduced into a plain girl. Gone was the feisty and outspoken Eloise we knew from the previous books.

Maybe it's because she's paired up with one of the most insufferable Bridgerton heroes, Sir Phillip. Just an inch away from Benedict, Sir Phillip maybe my next least favorite character. And it annoys me so much that Eloise gets to fall in love with someone like him.

It actually started pretty well. Before the events in the book started, Eloise and Phillip had already been corresponding for a year through letters. Phillip was on the lookout for - not a wife - but a mother for his two unruly children, and he thought Eloise was perfect for the role. He's a terrible father, but the book tries to convince us that it's not his fault because he had a bad upbringing by his own father (a recurring theme in the Bridgerton books - four heroes are plagued with different daddy issues). Eloise tried her best to turn things around, and of course, she eventually did, but I just really hate Phillip's initial intentions for seeking out a wife. He gets better in the end, sure, but I still really don't like him. At least the book wasn't short of excitement, else it would've been rated a bit lower.

Obviously, my favorite part in this book was when the Bridgerton brothers stormed into Phillip's house. He got what he deserved, truly.

Overall Rating: 4/10

#5 - The Duke and I (Book 1)

Now, this is the most well-known story in the Bridgerton literary universe, thanks to the Netflix series. I know I've said that I wasn't a fan of the series, but really, the Netflix writers and producers deserve all the gold in the world because they managed to transform this novel into something exciting.

Daphne and Simon had their moments, that's for sure, but as a couple, they were just so... meh. I liked their relationship at the start when they were still pretending to be courting. But as soon as they got married, everything interesting about the two of them sizzled out. And please don't get me started with how Daphne "took advantage" of drunk Simon. Thank God the show fixed that.

Despite my mixed feelings, this was a decent start to the Bridgerton books. There's really nothing majorly wrong about this novel (except for the aforementioned "taking advantage.") It laid out the future characters well. Lady Whistledown was also great. Thinking about her made me miss her because she wasn't featured in the later novels (you'll soon find out why).

Overall Rating: 5/10

#4 - It's In His Kiss (Book 7)

Since Eloise was stripped away from her feistiness when she got her own love story, I was obviously worried for Hyacinth. Thankfully, she didn't change! She was still the same tactless girl in the previous books. And for that, she gets to be my champion as my favorite Bridgerton.

This is the first time I've read this book, and oh, I'm surprised with how exciting it was. Hyacinth's hero, Gareth, perfectly suited her. Gareth was able to tame her impulsiveness, while also proving to be a good romantic partner for her. I loved that he could match her intellectually, too. It was never a bore whenever they have one of their silly banters. Lady Danbury was also featured more in this novel. She's one of my favorite side characters. As Gareth's grandmother, she was determined to bring him and Hyacinth together.

Maybe the only criticism I have in this novel is Gareth's issues with his father. I find it really weird that most of the heroes' problems are with their fathers. It just seemed lazy writing, in my opinion. But oh well, Gareth was interesting in his own way and that's perfectly fine.

Overall Rating: 6/10

#3 - Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Book 4)

I have a feeling that this is Quinn's favorite Bridgerton book. In this book, it's Colin's turn to find love. Colin is featured in several of his siblings' stories - in fact, in almost all of the books, he had an important role to play.

I love Colin and Penelope's story. Long before this book, they already knew each other. Penelope was Eloise's best friend, and she's almost always in the Bridgerton household. Colin has been forced by his mother for God knows how long to dance with Penelope every time there's a party. But it was only now that they became closer. Unbeknownst to Colin, Penelope had been in love with him for half her life, even though he didn't particularly care for her. Penelope speaks for all of us who know about unrequited love all too well.

Furthermore, this is the novel where they finally reveal who was behind the Lady Whistledown column. Yes, viewers of the Netflix series who are not familiar with the books. This is the part - and not in the first book! I'm so mad that they revealed Penelope as Lady Whistledown in the first season of the series, when in fact it's much later than that.

However, that's also one of the lowest points of this novel for me. Lady Whistledown's identity reveal was a bit anti-climactic. A little bit laughable, even. Also, also, also: I hated Colin's reaction to Penelope's secret. He didn't have to be angry and jealous of her, but ah well, whatever makes for conflict. Nevertheless, I love both Colin and Penelope because they had so much character and depth. Quinn was certainly biased when she wrote this.

Overall Rating: 8/10

#2 - The Viscount Who Loved Me (Book 2)

Remember earlier when I said that I cannot stop reading the books because even though I knew it wasn't that good, it was still highly enjoyable? Well, I'm really talking more about this book, to be specific. I think I've read it in less than 24 hours because of how much I love it. And yes, Anthony and Kate had their obvious flaws, but oh God, they were so perfect together. I can't help but imagine Jonathan Bailey from the Netflix series as Anthony when I was reading it. I swoon, all the time.

This used to be my favorite Bridgerton novel, but that's only because I haven't read my new favorite until recently. Anthony and Kate's story was just oh-so good and intimate and romantic. Kate's also my favorite heroine in the entire Bridgerton literary universe. She was headstrong and loving. She's unafraid to put the happiness of her family first.

In so many ways, Anthony was the same. He assumed the role of Viscount Bridgerton when he was only eighteen when his father unexpectedly died. Since then, he overlooks the family's estates and well-being. Yes, this is one of those "daddy issues" stories I mentioned earlier, but this one was kind of done tastefully. He didn't wish to fall in love but everything changed when he encountered Kate. He didn't mean to be attracted to her, but here we are.

Anthony and Kate had so much understanding between them. I agree Anthony was a bit of a dick when Kate asked if they could have one week to get to know each other before consummating the marriage (worse things have been said by Benedict and Phillip, though), but in the end, I can't deny that I truly love them together.

Overall Rating: 8/10

#1 - When He Was Wicked (Book 6)

*blushing furiously* So what if I put the smuttiest and steamiest novel as my top choice?! What about it? Oh, but really, though, I can't stop reading this. Francesca is one of the least known Bridgertons in the books, just like Gregory. I didn't know anything about her, except that she's quieter than most of her siblings. It was also first mentioned in Romancing Mister Bridgerton that she had already married but was sadly widowed after two years.

Michael was Francesca's late husband's cousin and best friend, which makes him her best friend, too. He has been secretly in love with Francesca since the first moment he laid eyes on her but was unable to pursue her because she's with his cousin John. In addition, I'd like to say that Michael is my favorite hero in the Bridgerton books. He's very charming and wicked, and really, my knees buckle at the thought of him.

Long after John passed away, Francesca and Michael reunited. Francesca was looking for a new husband because she desperately wants a family, while Michael... well, Michael was still in love with her. There was undeniable passion and intimacy between them, and it was hard to stay away from each other. I seriously have a thing for men secretly pining over women they love. That's got to be one of my favorite tropes.

However, the book itself was a bit longer than necessary. While I understand Francesca's hesitations in marrying Michael, it could've been shortened because it felt draggy by the end. Her constant changing of minds was a bit annoying, and yeah, it was probably a ploy to lengthen the novel.

Additionally, I was a bit skeptical at first of how they're going to treat their relationship, especially since Francesca was truly in love with her first husband. But it was done so nicely. Francesca and Michael never forget about John, even in the end. I loved what John's mother said to Michael in a letter at the end, "Thank you, Michael, for letting my son love her first."

I guess I love their story more than the other couples because both were already mature and experienced. Just like everyone else in this romantic series, Francesca and Michael belonged together. The entirety of Chapter 19 is proof of that.

Overall Rating: 9/10

***

Overall, the Bridgerton books are quite entertaining, despite being a cheesy and sappy series. I admit that I feel quite lonely and bored now that I've finished all eight of them. Ah well, there's always the possibility of rereading them!

[kidnappedbycartoons]

Thoughts On Noah

I said I was going to do another character, so now I’m doing Noah. Let’s get it.

At First:

One thing I want to point out is that Noah never stepped forward on Day One. Not even when Hope came out, she went to him and chose him but he didn’t step forward at all. Was he waiting for someone more his type or was he just being shy? I honestly don’t know. But after this, we do see Noah making some moves on Hope on the first day like with the boyfriend material joke or when the text came that a new islander was coming in, he looked at her. I do think that Noah is the kind of guy who doesn’t date around. Like, he locked things in with Hope early on, to the point where on Day Three if MC goes to talk to him before the recoupling, he rejects her immediately.

I’m just going to say it though. I feel like Noah was playing the game a bit. Let me explain. On the first week of Love Island, no one is really serious yet. Everyone is getting to know each other and feel each other out. But he and Hope were practically acting like a married couple within the first week. The two of them already slept together within the first three days, he let her paint his nails and whatever she was doing with his eyebrows, they were feeding each other, like, all of this adds up. Do I think he genuinely liked Hope? Yes. But I feel like he was playing the game a bit, because why would anyone lock themselves in so fast? He didn’t let ANY of the girls get a chance and it was only the first few days.

Now, when I did his route, I had MC ask him on the date for Day Nine. He’s a bit torn, clearly. It’s like he wants to get to know her, but doesn’t want to ruin things with Hope. I think he actually did want to get to know MC and Priya to an extent, but because of his relationship with Hope, he held back. And I noticed that on Day Eight when Rocco gets dumped and we get the text that there is a recoupling, he reassures Hope but then looks at MC. I think he had a bit of a crush on her, but he held back because of his feelings for Hope.

God. I have to talk about it though.

Operation Nope:

I’m not going to talk about how wrong it is because I could go on all day about it. But, imagine how Noah feels if MC and Priya goes for him. He would have to know something is up then. Both of them try to kiss him on the same day? Same afternoon at that? Now, even if MC doesn’t kiss him, it’ll still be weird because they would’ve just had their conversation about how Noah feels about being with Hope and whether or not he should stick it out with her. And then a while later, Priya kisses him? And if MC isn’t participating, she can bring up Priya’s name as an option for him? He’s not stupid. I think that’s probably why he distances himself from them following Operation Nope, especially if Bobby told him the whole truth (Or half of it). 

But it does mess with his head. Because we know that he and Priya have spoken before, like on Day Two, and Priya even tried to grind against him on Day Four. We also know that he has a small crush on MC. But he also has feelings for Hope too. He’s a mess. He’s confused. He’s stressed. Boy probably had gray hairs by the time he left the villa. But! On the disaster recoupling, he was going to choose Hope. Now, let me explain why.

Sticking with the fact that there is no way that Noah couldn’t have picked up on Operation Nope, he probably felt a bit disgusted with MC/Priya. He also sees how upset Hope is about it and probably feels guilty about his part in it. So on Day Thirteen, he was going to couple up with her so that they could work on their relationship and give it another shot, but then Jakub chooses Hope and he’s left to choose either Priya or MC. They were his second choice. Now, he’s open to exploring the relationship since Hope practically dumped him and they’ve shown interest in him, plus he also wanted to get to know them anyway. But up to this point, I think he was still more into Hope. 

How could I forget? On Day Nine, if you take him on the date, he says he tends to give into people with strong personalities. And I just realized the girls he was paired up with have strong personalities. Not to mention that he doesn’t like yelling or arguing. I’ve noticed him try to calm Hope down before during the Mean Tweets episode and on Day Two. That could explain his actions during the aftermath of Operation Nope and why he tries to run away from Hope. He probably needed space to think and collect himself, but she was badgering him for an answer and then throw Priya and MC in there and it’s a mess. That could explain why Noah wanted to choose Hope on Day Thirteen too. Oh wow.

After CA:

So, after Casa Amor, if you’re on his route he brings back Blake. I’m not going to say much because it’s coded that way, but she probably manipulated him into switching. Now, we know that he was a mess during Casa Amor. He grew a break up beard, he saw one of the girls and thought she looked like Hope, and that he was upset at Jakub for sleeping with a girl only one day after coupling up with Hope. Up to this point, Hope is still his number one.

After everyone is reunited, Hope and Noah practically get back together after talking things out and Lottie and Bobby save them. Here’s the thing. I think Noah is the type of guy that when he messes up in a relationship, he goes all in to fix it. Because remember on Day Nineteen when Noah comes in fully dressed while everyone is sleeping and asks Hope if she wants something to drink? And then Lottie admits in the dressing room that he was going to come to bed fully clothed? And we’re supposed to think that’s cute? Hell no! He’s doing this in order to stay on Hope’s good side. Everyone knows Lottie isn’t a threat to the relationship, he could’ve just slept in the bed. But since things were still rough with Hope, he went back to how he was acting in the first week. Shutting girls down, only focusing on Hope, and making sure it’s known that he’s only into Hope.

However, if you’re on his route and you say you wish you were coupled up with him on Day Nineteen, it shows Noah how serious you were. That Operation Nope wasn’t some dirty joke, but that you actually are into him. I think this is the point where he truly starts to see MC in a different light, because she’s actually interested. And if you don’t switch during Casa Amor, that counts too. 

His Route:

So, I’m going to focus on Day Twenty forward because we get little scenes with the longing gazes, small conversations, and whatnot, however he still sticks with Hope. Let me explain without using the “He was playing the game” theory. One quote I remember is him saying “Have you ever been so afraid to hurt someone that you choose their happiness over yours? And don’t go after what you want?”. Here’s my thing. As he falls for MC, his feelings for Hope wane. He wants to couple up with MC, he wants to be with her, he wants to. But he chooses Hope on Day Twenty-Two. Here’s why.

Bobby saved Hope solely for Noah. He knows this. He also knows that Hope wants to be with him the most in the villa and no one else. He also knows that mostly everyone in the villa is rooting for them to get back together. Remember how he gives in to strong personalities? I feel like he gave in because he felt pressured to get back with her. If he had coupled up with MC, then who would’ve gone for Hope (If Lucas isn’t there)? He didn’t want to put her at risk or let everyone else down, so he stayed true to her, despite his growing feelings for MC.

Not to mention that he’s realizing that he and Hope aren’t really that compatible. Remember the Baby Boom episode on Day Twenty-Seven? It’s so sad watching Noah pretend like it was just a bit of fun and give in to Hope when he clearly wants kids and he was having a good time. Call him a coward and I’d agree...slightly. I do think he has cowardly ways, but I also think he doesn’t like to let people down. This isn’t like it only affects Hope. Everyone else in the villa is lowkey invested in this relationship and the outside world as well. But I think this episode is when Noah realizes that he’s all in with MC and that the feelings he had for Hope at the start have gone.

The Prom episode...it’s painful. I hated his speech to Hope. “Anyone would be lucky to be with her”? He’s indirectly saying that he doesn’t want to be with her. And he even glances at MC during the speech too. It’s the disrespect in that moment for me. And then the sleeping with him thing? Okay. I don’t agree with that. That’s not the Noah we’ve come to know. But I’ll say that maybe it’s just all the tension and feelings coming to surface. He and MC are clearly into each other, clearly attracted to each other, and you could only take so much longing gazes and accidental touches before you break. He broke. Or he was playing the game, but that’s another thing.

The Finale:

So, the only way to get with him is to take the money. If you split it, then he breaks it off with you and goes back to Hope. Here’s what I think, without the player theory. Noah sees MC split the money and he probably assumes that means she wants to continue on with her partner. But if she keeps the money, then that means she wants to be with him as there is no way she and her partner can come back from that. If she’s willing to do something as big as that, then that probably gives him the courage to break up with Hope. 

Final Thoughts:

Now, I love Noah as a character. I do. Excluding the playing the game theory (Which only really came up because of how Fusebox did his route so dirty). I feel like he doesn’t date much, and when he does, he’s all in. I like to think that after the villa, he learns how to stand up for himself more and not to give into what other people want all the time. I feel like that has something to do with him being the oldest in his family and practically raising his siblings. He’s the kind of guy that probably wants a nice house with a garden where he can be a nice househusband and watch over his four kids while his wife makes that paper. His route is disgusting, but I don’t think he’s a full coward. Just a half coward. 50% coward, if you will.

[ereawrites]

Tim Drake x Reader - Envy

The first time he realises it's more than a stupid crush is mid-summer, sweat across the back of his neck, ice in his drink. Bruce has had a tough few weeks, and he's learning to surround himself with the people he cares about in times like these: besides, the weather is gorgeous, a rarity for Gotham, and so Bruce throws an extended family barbecue. 'Family' has always been a little tough to define, for Tim and for many others who share the Wayne name. Some - Dick, Jason, Damian, Cass - feel as though they could be his blood siblings, like they share more than a name and a vigilante identity and a proclivity for violence. Duke, Kon, and Jon have somehow become his annoying cousins who say, let me play the games on your phone, Tim, I know you get the unreleased ones, don't lie, but he loves them all the same.

It's when he sees you talking to Steph, the distant ex who he now considers one of his closest friends, that the depth of his feelings really hits him. You're in a swimsuit - he shouldn't stare, he shouldn't, it's summer and it's hot and it's perfectly normal for you to want to enjoy the pool while you're at the manor - with a cocktail in hand, golden sun catching in your hair, a warm smile lighting up your features, eyes crinkled up at the corners with laughter. Maybe Steph is telling an anecdote about the family; perhaps you're just enjoying this perfect day.

A giggle spills from your lips, shiny with the cherry-flavoured lip balm he knows you use, right as your gaze wanders across the pool and meets Tim's own. Although he's quick to react, transforming his face into a friendly smile and giving you a small wave, he has to fight back a blush from the shame of almost being caught staring. He isn't a creep. He isn't.

"Tim!", you exclaim, as he crosses around the pool and makes his way over to you and Steph. "I didn't know you could even come out in the sun! I hope you're wearing sunscreen."

Steph smirks. "You're all... milky. How long has it been since you left your computer screen?'

Tim feels your eyes drag down over his body, probably only because Steph's just pointed out how pale he is, but he's in a swimsuit too and he can feel your gaze burning hot on every inch of exposed skin. He huffs out a sarcastic laugh. "Funny, both of you. Duke attacked me with a bottle of SPF twenty minutes ago."

You and Steph dissolve into another fit of laughter: clearly the image of his assault is amusing to you. Tim would pretend to be more annoyed than he really is, maybe play it up a little to make you both feel bad, but he knows that you're only in a good mood. Why wouldn't you be? This is the first day you've had fully to yourself in weeks - he makes a point to stay updated on your activities, but he's not a creep, it's normal to take an interest - between your schoolwork and your internship. The hard work has paid off, though, and you've just graduated at the top of your class with a path straight into a major company. He can cut you some slack for now.

"Do either of you two know where I can find Damian?", Steph pipes up suddenly after a sip of her own drink. "I've gotta talk to him."

Tim exaggerates a disgusted tremble, which only earns him a playful slap from Steph and another little giggle from you. "Poor you. He's probably walking the dogs on the other side of the garden, or something - antisocial little shit."

"Damian, antisocial? I haven't heard from you in almost three weeks, Timothy Drake! You hypocrite!", Steph cries. Three weeks? He could've sworn it was only a week ago, at most; he FaceTimed her for a catch up, and she was talking about her crush on Kon's dad, and he'd explained he'd been busy because he'd been helping you write your thesis - but, wait, it hadn't even been the final section, so it must have been longer ago than he thought, because you submitted your final draft five days ago - shit.

Tim sighs. "Sorry, Steph. Actually, sorry to both of you. I... lost track of time, I guess?"

"I'll let you off this time, Drake-", Steph narrows her eyes at him, and tips back the last of her cocktail. "But you better repay me by having another drink ready for me when I come back."

She grins widely, and heads off to find Damian: God knows why she wants to talk to him when he's being so antisocial, but she's always had a way of drawing the young boy out of his shell. Tim chuckles under his breath, and turns to smile sheepishly at you.

"And you? What do I have to do to make you forgive me?", he offers. He's half-teasing, but there's a part of him that feels guilty. It's selfish. He knows it is; he's the one who finds himself wanting to spend so much time with you, not the other way around, and he sees you more than enough. You probably haven't even realised it's been four days since you last spoke to him.

You swirl the last dregs of your drinks thoughtfully, smiling at him - God, your smile is perfect, so soft and warm and kind - and then reach out to pat him on the shoulder. "I think I'm the one who owes you, you know."

Your touch lingers for just a fraction of a second and Tim is forced to suppress a shiver. "Meaning?'

"You've spent most of your free time for months helping me with schoolwork, Timmy! There's no way I would've been able to - actually, no, I would have managed fine without help - but you made it so much easier. I wish I could do more to thank you."

Tim waves away your gratitude with a small smile. "You've done plenty - besides, I enjoyed helping you."

"Why?", you grin, and the previous playfulness you'd exhibited with Steph is beginning to spark back up in your eyes. "Because my area of study interests you so much? Or is it just because I'm your favourite person?'

There are a million ways he could play this. This stupid, summer crush has been eating at him for weeks now, and Tim knows all too well that he's bad with emotions. He has no idea which course of action he should choose: flirt, or tease, or act aloof? Dick would dazzle you with a charming grin and a compliment - Jason would make a ridiculous, suggestive joke that somehow would be flirty instead of creepy - Damian (and Tim feels indescribable shame at the fact that his younger brother would be better at this than him) would brush the teasing off in a way that only drew you in.

"...Spending time with you isn't the worst thing in the world.", Tim settles on, and he mentally kicks himself as soon as the words leave his mouth. God, he isn't a creep, but he's stupid. So stupid. Almost as stupid as he is for developing a crush in the first place.

By some saving grace, your smile only widens. "So I am your favourite person?'

He needs another drink.

"You're in danger of losing that title.", he shrugs, and begins to head for the drinks table that Alfred so thoughtfully set up - you follow without question. "But, well, I wouldn't have spent all that time with you if, you know, I didn't like you. It was actually... kind of fun."

You fix yourself your own cocktail at the same time as him. It must be your favourite, since it's the same as the last one you were drinking, and Tim has to remind himself again that he's not a creep as he wonders how it would feel to kiss the taste of sweet alcohol off your lips. It's just a crush. He's going to get over it.

"Aww - I knew you loved me! Seriously, though - I did really enjoy spending that time with you. Even if you did spend half of it vibrating from caffeine overload, and the other half shouting at me for drinking caffeine myself.", you say.

He shrugs. "It's bad for you." Hypocrisy normally gets to Tim, but he can excuse the bad habit for himself. He can't help but worry about you.

The words that spill from your fruit-stained lips in response - teasing, as always, no more than that, stop it - and the glint in your eye and the little quirk of your mouth upwards; something about it just feels different and it makes his stomach lurch. "You're a bad influence, Timmy. I like it."

Fuck. He sips at his drink, too much vodka for his liking and too little ice, but oh well: he's got bigger things to worry about, like hiding how thickly he swallows. Like pretending he doesn't notice the faint sheen of sweat coating your collarbones, and the dip of your throat, spreading across your shoulders and down, down, dipping to your stomach - he pretends he doesn't notice. It's hot. You're warm. And a bit of sweat shouldn't get to him as much as it does.

"Every person here is a bad influence. You asked me for help, anyway. I'm starting to regret doing it.". That's a blatant lie and you both know it, but Tim doesn't know quite how to react other than with sarcasm. He feels like he's dancing with you every time he speaks to you, skating on paper-thin ice but loving the thrill - don't be so fucking dramatic, it's just a crush, stop it.

You roll your eyes and place your glass down onto the table. "I'm sorry. You're a fantastic influence, and you've made the last few months far more bearable. Thank you. I mean it."

And then you bring one hand to his shoulder, a feather-light touch that still sends him practically careening into ecstasy, and before Tim quite realises what's happening, you're pressing a friendly kiss to his left cheek.

You pull back with a smile. "I'll stop giving you shit for today, but only because I'm so grateful."

You just fucking kissed him. You were barely an inch away from his lips, close enough that he could almost smell your drink on your lips, and it was only a friendly gesture and he knows you do it with everyone and he knows it doesn't mean anything, to you, at least - but, to Tim, you've just punched right through his chest and grabbed his heart and squeezed, tight, snatched the breath right from his lungs and all rational thought from his brain; he wants, so badly, to lean forward and kiss you for real this time. He would, if he had the courage. He would, if he knew you felt the same way.

This is more than a stupid, summer crush.

Tim wants you to kiss him again. He wants to take your hand and parade you around the barbecue on his arm. He would lick the sweat off your fucking collarbones, if you would only let him. Maybe he is a creep. He doesn't care anymore.

Another sip of his drink. He's so fucked.

You don't notice the way his jaw tenses, or the way his breathing quickens; why would you? You're not looking for any kind of reaction, because, for you, it was just a kiss on the cheek, nothing more, nothing worthy of a revelation of his feelings.

"Oh, Tim - look, Kon's coming over!", you nudge him with your elbow, drink back in hand. Tim's too shellshocked to do anything other than follow your gaze, right over to where Kon's walking over to the two of you. He must have been in the pool with Jon and Dick, because his hair is wet and rivulets of water are running down his chest - Tim doesn't think he'll ever really get used to his best friend being so absolutely ripped. He hates it.

Kon fixes you with a beaming grin. "Hey, guys! What's with all the drinking? I though barbecues were for having fun and eating, not an alcohol club."

Tim forces a smirk: Kon will see right through him if he isn't careful, figure out what’s going on. The smile on your face, though, is wide and genuine, almost as big as Kon's.

"Says Aquaman over here.", you giggle. Kon shakes his head, flicking water at you, and you squeal and dash behind Tim.

Droplets of pool water land on Tim's face, filling his nose with the scent of chlorine instead of the scent of your drink, and he mourns the loss. "Careful, Kon. Chlorine can burn our skin right off. You wouldn't want to hurt us, right?"

The other male's eyes widen comically, and he mouths a seriously at Tim, concern evident in his gaze. Having a half-alien best friend has its drawbacks, but it's worth it for the tricks Tim gets to play.

You peek over Tim's shoulder and, upon determining that the coast is clear, step out and pout at him. "Don't tease - Kon, don't listen. He's stringing you along."

Tim scowls at you. "Fuck - you couldn't have played along for a few minutes? Seriously?"

Kon lets out a hearty chuckle, and out of nowhere he reaches his hand out towards you - for a moment, Tim just stares at it, wondering why his best friend is offering his hand to you. Then, you take it, that soft smile on your face, and Kon's pulling you into his chest and you're squeezing his hand and he's kissing you gently on the forehead.

"I knew I could rely on you.", Kon smiles, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. The penny begins to drop for Tim, but it's as if it's in slow motion - he sees the grand reveal coming, but he it doesn't quite sink in just yet.

You turn back to face Tim, keeping your fingers interlaced with Kon's so his arm wraps around your body and settles on your waist, pressing you into his side. "I - uh, sorry, Tim. Kon's still... getting the hang of how much PDA is acceptable."

Oh. Tim should have seen this coming. He should have noticed the signs; they all spring up in his mind now, the way Kon only ever seemed to blush around you, and the way Tim's noticed you checking Kon out during training a few times (he'd not thought much of it, you'd be blind not to), and the way both of you have been so suspiciously quiet about your love lives lately - maybe to protect his feelings, to make him feel like he's not the odd-one-out of the group, to avoid excluding him.

"It's fine,", he lies. "But, well - PDA? I didn't realise you two were... close like that."

Why is he torturing himself by asking for details?

You offer him an apologetic look. "I know you've been really busy, lately - you know, with work, and stuff. I thought it would be best to hold off on telling you about anything going on until you had less on your plate."

You don't say it with pity, like you know that he's been harbouring feelings for you: no, it's just friendly concern, knowing that he would want to know about your new crush and help you navigate it, because Tim is shit with his own feelings but he's got a penchant for helping others with their own.

"Thanks for being considerate. I wouldn't have minded helping you, you know.", Tim says. Another lie. It would have absolutely fucking killed him to help you, but at least he would have seen this coming. At least he could have prepared.

Kon squeezes you into his side, and then releases you so he can pour himself a drink. His bright blue eyes, kind and piercing, prompt Tim to speak again. "And, Kon - come on, buddy. Why didn't you say anything to me?"

Kon chuckles warmly. "I guess I didn't really realise what I was feeling, you know? I mean, I knew that it was different, but I didn't exactly know what it meant... or how to explain it."

Another piece of the puzzle falls into place. There's a domino effect in Tim's mind and right now he hates how intelligent he is, wishes he could turn it off for a second if only so that he would stop making deductions about this relationship that's sprung up right under his nose.

"You made the first move, then?", he asks, directed at you, and he can feel his smile starting to slip. There are beads of water on your waist in the wake of Kon's touch.

You let out a small, almost embarrassed laugh - Kon returns to your side, not touching you this time, but still standing in a way that makes it seem as though he's protecting you. "You could put it that way. I mean, nothing's official yet - no one even knows other than you and Steph and Jon, we're still figuring it out. We don't wanna make a big deal, you know?'

Tim doesn't know. He nods anyway. "I'm happy for you both."

The smile on his lips - vodka, ice, fruit - falters just a little too much and he knows Kon notices it. Bright blue eyes soften in worry, his mouth moves to ask if Tim's alright, but Tim just glances back at you; small smile on your lips, golden sun in your hair, happy.

"I'll have to go make sure that Bruce and Jason aren't in danger of blowing us all up in a gas explosion. I'll catch up with you two after.", Tim says, just before Kon can get any words out. He gestures aimlessly in the direction of the barbecue, and you and Kon nod in unison - together, a couple - and Tim throws back the last of his drink before he leaves.

He should be happy for you - he is, in a way, glad that Kon's found someone he can be vulnerable with and you've found someone who makes you happy. He should have been more convincing - he doesn't want either of you to worry. He should have seen this coming. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He should never have let himself start feeling anything for you in the first place.

Maybe, Tim thinks as he heads into the cool air of the manor and slips into a quiet room, closing the door behind him - maybe, if you hadn't have kissed him on the cheek, it would've been easier. He could've kept telling himself that this was just a stupid, summer crush, and it would've went away by the time the first snow fell in Gotham, and if worst came to worst he could've called Steph and distracted himself for a few nights. The thought of that, of touching anyone else, makes him feel sick now.

Tim runs his hands through his hair and tugs desperately at the ends. He has no idea how he's meant to come back out to the barbecue, watch Kon kiss the taste of sweet alcohol off your lips, think about Kon's hands on your body - he can't do this. He can't.