#greek myth incorrect

[sinliszt]

The Olympians anytime Zeus does anything:

[mytholympus]

*Hera finding out about Dionysus*

Hera: YOU’RE ZEUS’S SON?… THAT UNFAITHFUL,DOUBLE-CROSSING, TWO-TIMING ASS OF A HUSBAND! I am going to kil-

Dionysus: WAIT! But I’m the god of wine!

Hera: -keep you safe… I’m going to keep you safe is what I was about to say!

Dionysus:

Hera: …Do you have a wine list?

[athenas-sw0rd]

Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.

Achilles: I never considered you at all.

[thaliasthunder]

isnt it strange to know that shipping patrochilles u have something in common w plato and alexander the great

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Ares: I just stubbed my toe.

Ares: But did I cry like a baby?

Ares: Of course not.

Ares: A baby don't have the lung capacity for the sound I just made.

[lenaleviosa]

*Achilles arriving in the underworld*

Achilles: “Where’s Patro-“

Hades: “FINALLY! ACHILLES- a word please”

Achilles: “Sure, but could you tell me where Patroclus -“

Hades: “Look around”

Achilles: “I am, but it’s so crowded in here, I can’t see him”

Hades: “Exactly!”

Hades: “A 10 year long war was already bad enough, but then you had to go and murder 10 000 people in one day???”

Hades: “Frank over here - who you gracefully pierced with your spear btw - has been standing in this exact same spot for three days because I’ve got no place to put him!”

Achilles: “So I’m guessing you’re not going to help me find Patroclus, then?”

[withlovefromolympus]

Athena: I’m gonna kick your ass

Ares: I’d like to see you try

Athena: Saturday. Noon. Usual place

Ares: Deal. Loser pays for dinner and a movie.

Demeter: can you two just hang out like normal siblings do, or-???

[princessofopus]

“Patrochilles is real,” I say into the mic, the crowd boos. I begin to walk off the stage in shame. “No, she’s right!” I hear a voice in the back say. The lights come on. It's Alexander the Great.

[chimera-tail]

Artemis: *concerned* You know those things will kill you, right?

Athena: *pouring another glass of wine* That’s the point.

Ares: *smoking a cigarette* We’re trying to speed up the process.

Apollo: *nods while eating raw cookie dough*

[linktenbooks]

Achilles, thinking: Wow Patroclus is so graceful and beautiful

[Patroclus, trips and falls over his own feet]

Achilles: gorgeous

[shattered-stars-lonely-hearts]

Apollo: Pick a card, any card Hermes: Okay Apollo: Apollo: Any card did not include my credit card, kindly hand it back

[whitevesper]

[achilles teaching patroclus to drive]

achilles: you’re driving and suddenly you see clytemnestra and agamemnon walk into the road. what do you hit?

patroclus: the brakes obviously

achilles: wrong. agamemnon. you should always hit agamemnon.

[sungodra]

Achilles: Go big or go home!

Patroclus, with tears in his eyes: I'm begging you, Achilles, for once in your life, please, just this once, go home

Achilles: I'm going big

[athenas-sw0rd]

Achilles: So what’s your type?

Patroclus: Blue eyes, prideful, strong, oblivious, blonde hair.

Achilles: Kinda sounds like me. Too bad we’re just friends.

Patroclus: ..did I mention oblivious?

[thaliasthunder]

odysseus: men with long hair are such sluts. what do u have long hair for? for other men to pull it?

achilles: wha

odysseus: whore.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Artemis: I'm worried about you.

Apollo: *dunks Oreo in whiskey* Why?