#handling emotions

[keinuckel]

I'm gonna be so fr what do we think about people that can't control their emotions ONLINE

I know it's seen vaguely in the hockey community but like what about when youre just dming someone and they lash out at you?

I know its not entirely my fault because it also comes w insta close friend stories and notes actually raging abt someone or saying sm so passive aggressive.

Is this normalized now, and is this how we really want to live?

[tommyexplores]

How to destroy your attraction to straight guy

I confessed my attraction to my straight friend, although I knew he’d never feel the same way and it would completely destroy our friendship. Frankly, the excitement of it had long wore off and I was feeling emotionally exhausted. I knew a confession like this would only push him away, but I had to move on. We had met just over a year ago. I saw an opportunity in him to finally make friends with…

[helios-moon]

dear friend,

I hope this letter finds you well. How are you? I think I'm okay. I can't quite put my emotions down enough to know what I feel. I might feel okay, then after I might not feel okay. It feels like I'm stretched thin, and with any bad news that I receive, no matter how small or large, I might go insane.

I don't know why. I don't understand it myself. I think I just need to write and write until my thoughts don't seem befuddled any more. I think it's been ages (years) since I pen my thoughts so they become convoluted.

I can't blame them, really.

I think I had been functioning in survival mode for the past few years, I had little time to think and connect with my emotions which is why - after everything has come to an end - I am left with this big, gaping ugly thing.

I don't quite know what to do with it either.

Should I absorb it? Should I let it be? Should I just watch as it manifests into something more known?

Now, I have more urges to write my thoughts down. I feel like I could articulate my thoughts better but I don't know if it helps with healing and removing this stain in my life. I'm sorry, I'm offloading this to you so suddenly. I hope you don't mind, friend.

I don't know where else to go.

This void needs to go.

However, I hope in time, I will feel better.

[wanologic]

always good to keep a screamhole handy

[vanitasdal]

.

[polysucks]

My lady, look down on this battle with a mother's eyes. They are all sons, every one. Spare them if you can, and spare my own sons as well. Watch over Robb and Bran and Rickon. Would that I were with them. -ACOK, Catelyn IV

Catelyn as the Mother of the Seven

Sansa as the maiden

[closethikikomoriblog]

Navigating fandom discourse: How I handle bad vibes when reading unsavory manga takes

Going through fandom discourse, I've learned I had to dig into the dirt to find gold. The dopamine my brain produced after discovering something mind-blowing made all the struggle worth it.

[theegh0st]

MUGSHOTS

[everwalldigan]

Bruce saying it’s hard to be around dick cause all he can remember when he sees him is his little Robin and all the adventures they had when times were simpler and everything wasn’t so awful yet☹️☹️☹️ THATS HIS BABY BOY YOUR HONOUR

[iamasaddie]

he has the kind of inner and outer beauty that you can’t talk about because no matter what you say, the words will never do it justice

[inkskinned]

it's just - i know you don't think you did anything wrong. i know you aren't sitting at home, counting the times you hurt me. you're out somewhere, enjoying your life, feeling free and happy and alive. and meanwhile - here i am, and broken.

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown”

[secretly-a-trekkie]

usghsduhfiaofh

[call-me-emrys]

I’m just!!!!

MB saying it needs to check the perimeter, which has meant this whole season that it doesn’t know how to react to something, and Gurathin reaching out to be like “I can help! I was where you were once, PresAux sticks together, you’re one of us, I will help you” because that’s what he thinks it means.

But then MB says it again, and Gurathin just stops because he KNOWS. He knows MB doesn’t mean “I don’t know what to do” this time. He knows it means that it knows exactly what to do, and he knows that this time when it says that it needs to check the perimeter, it’s really saying “Goodbye.”

And then he just says it back, finally communicating on even footing and on MB’s terms!!! “You need to check the perimeter,” Gurathin says, but what he really means is “Goodbye.”

[zombolouge]

The thing is, it's not about the Therapy Speak. It's not that everyone who disliked DAV hates healthy communication as a dynamic in fiction. It's not even about only being allowed to be a good guy, really, because most of us did do that anyways (though the option not being there is a loss I grieve even if I never chose it myself, but that's another rant for another day).

It's that DAV does all that stuff at the expense of being believable. At the expense of characters being permitted to have personalities. At the expense of emotions behaving the way emotions actually work for people. At the expense of letting the plot build tension through the stakes we're forced to grapple with.

Half the fics out there take the conflicts between the characters in the previous games and resolve them. I do it myself ALL THE TIME because I like to find a path to resolution through just about any conflict, that's what fascinates me about telling these stories. But the higher the stakes, the harder a conflict is to resolve. You CAN resolve any conflict, you CAN communicate healthily through any emotion, but you can't skip the time it takes to process it all to even be able to communicate it. As someone whose got CPTSD and recovered from many Traumas, I can tell you that the TIME it takes to work through it is not something you can fast track, and the ups and downs of your emotions on that journey can't be skipped. It doesn't matter if you know exactly how to do it, exactly how it's going to feel, or exactly what the end state will be, you CAN'T speedrun it.

DAV has stakes that are astronomical, but nobody treats them that way. Nobody experiences denial - a common psychological reaction to being presented with information that shatters your worldview. Nobody expresses any distrust in the establishments handing out this information - something common among cultures that have at times been at war, even if those wars are "resolved" in the present. Nobody really ever breaks down - something that any person is capable of under extreme circumstances, especially when facing multiple crises of faith that challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves. Nobody blows their lid because they've been repressing the hell out of everything. Nobody grieves for southern Thedas, the entire thing dying off screen and giving you, the player, NO way to engage with it in any way.

Not to mention there are barely any inter-party conflicts, when there should be a lot more. Why is everyone (except Spite) fine with it if Emmrich sacrifices Manfred to become a lich? Why is everyone fine with Illario potentially being set free if he was working with the venatori and Elgar'nan, two sources that have actively attacked everyone in the party? Why doesn't Neve resent Lucanis if Treviso is picked? Why doesn't Harding get pissed off at Nevarra for having a secret society of liches that never helped during the Inquisition's war against the breach and corypheus? Why doesn't Harding feel ANYTHING about Ferelden and the rest of the south? Shouldn't Harding resent the fact that she's stuck in the north while her home dies?

All of these conflicts ARE resolvable, but not easily. And it's not believable that they're never brought up. It's not believable that these characters skip through everything that happens with like, barely a frowny face most of the time. In DAO, Alistair leaves if you don't treat his conflicts with respect. In DA2, your party members try to kill each other if you don't pay attention to their conflicts/emotional needs. In DAI, people can leave or betray you, Cassandra throws a chair at Varric and tries to body him out a window. ALL of these can be resolved but it takes effort, and the characters get to SHOW that they're bothered by them and struggling the way a person would when faced with those emotions.

The problem isn't the therapy speak, or that everyone is loyal and won't leave, or that they aren't mean to each other enough. It's that it's toxic positivity. It's toxic as fuck to imply that anger or grief should be smiled over or else you're giving up, and it's damaging to people to avoid engaging with their own negative emotional responses to extremely negative stimuli. It's pasting optimism over very real, very weighty issues, sweeping it all under the rug, and you keep waiting for the lid to blow off the pressure cooker that creates, but it never does. It never becomes anything that emulates real emotions, which is why the whole damn thing feels hollow. Everything's dying and nobody cares, not even about themselves, and that's NOT healthy communication.

It's bullshit, half-assed storytelling that didn't tell us the actual story, just the vague idea of what it could have been.

[lilybug-02]

New Goal Acquired!

Bug Fact: The scarlet lily beetle (or better yet the lily bug ;P) is a leaf beetle that eats the leaves, stem, buds, and flowers of lilies.

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