#having anxiety I’ve never been able to stomach or get into scary movies

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: vamp Dabi, blood mention, witch reader, cheating but not really???

vampire Dabi but in a dark shadows au???? HELLO!!!!!

you’ve been a witch for who knows how long now, but you’re one of the good ones, you convince yourself. you only do shit to people when they fuck you over and unfortunately for Dabi—he’s one of those people.

maybe you weren’t actually dating the heir of the famous family business (the one that the whole town was named after) since you were only their maid—but still. he wrapped you in his sheets and bruised your throat with such tender kisses that you couldn’t bare to believe otherwise.

but then—but then you catch him one night, bruising someone else’s throat. the one his father promised to marry him off to, who you expected him to reject, but he instead embraced within the sheets you had cleaned for him.

and shit happens, you tell yourself, as you lead the town to his front door after you just so happen to turn him into a vampire to eternally deal with the suffering of his now dead parents and fiancé that you had absolutely no involvement in.

well, maybe a little involvement. a smidgen. (a smidgen including a curse to trap her soul in a forever loop of untimely deaths and crushing his parents under pillars.)

but it’s been years now. you’re over Dabi.

until he stands in your office, an office you built from the ground up after creating another spell to help you earn a few pennies from the Todoroki inheritance. he’s so pale and gangly and he frowns so deep at you for turning him into this bloodthirsty monster.

but you haven’t seen him in so long and old feelings arise and you already got your revenge. so why not let sleeping dogs lie in the coffin you helped the townspeople bury them in?

your office is a mess in a matter of minutes. a fight turns into a tackle, turns into huffed breaths neither of you need, turns into bumping noses, closed gaps between lips, a swap of bloody kisses. Dabi still kisses you the same way he did four hundred years ago, if not better.

his sharp nails dig into your spine and drag down until they hook into your bottoms, and he tears those away with ease. shreds them to pieces, and you do him the same until you’re both scratched and bloody and panting into each others mouth as he buries his cock as deep as he always used to.

it’s familiar, albeit messier than before with the constant biting of your skin and his. he curses you, calls you a piece of shit witch, and you can only smile at him. force his face into your neck not to silence him, but to feel his fangs sink into your skin, feel his cock swell when you grow your own fangs to bite back. he’s always liked how much you bite back.

(he tells you he regrets it terribly so when he finishes, but you don’t believe him. Dabi has always loved you. he just let a few distractions get in his way, but he loves you. he always has and forever will. you’ll make sure of it.)

[beewithknee]

of dreams and nightmares

redactober day 5 !

huxley/freelancer hurt/comfort (with blink-and-you'll-miss-it poly DAMN)

They never woke with a gasp like in the movies. It was always a slow awareness creeping back into them.

They knew it was a nightmare. Knew it was fictional.

However that didn’t stop the racing heart, vivid images and unsettled stomach.

Glancing through their space, they eyed every corner feeling far too exposed in the open, dark space.

A warm body stirred beside them.

“Flower? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Of course Huxley immediately knew they weren’t okay. The wide eyes and shaking hands gave that away.

“Bad dream.” They whispered, hands still shaking slightly. They heard the blind-fumbling on their bedside table before a light flicked on. It was dimmed, but enough to remove the long shadows and a good chunk of their anxiety.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Can I do anything?” He asked gently, eyes still half-lidded from sleep.

“Hold me?” It was whispered into the dim room. They felt pathetic. It was 2:30 and they’d woken the poor man up because of some idiotic dream. Knowing something isn’t real and feeling it isn’t are two vastly different things.

Logically, they were fully aware it was a work of chemicals and a bad TV show before bed.

But their biological reaction had it replaying like a horrifically real memory every few seconds.

A sharp breath stuttered from their chest as he pulled them into his arms.

Warmth immediately seeped into every exposed nerve that danced along their body, soothing them tenfold.

“We’re okay. There’s nothing that’s gonna get through me.” He soothed gently, hand stroking up and down their stomach. Huxley’s palms were always warm. Not like Damien’s in the way that you could tell it was his core, but just in a gentle soothing manner.

They’d never get tired of it.

Flipping over, they buried their face in his chest. It allowed enough light to reduce the paranoia floating their head.

Huxley cradled their back in one large palm and the back of their head in the other. His short fingernails scratched at the nape of their neck, sending addictive shivers through them.

“Tighter?” It was a plea. Huxley immediately complied, wanting nothing more than to soothe his distressed partner.

He rested his head on the top of theirs, only bending to kiss their head sweetly. “I’ve got you, petal. You’re okay.” Each word soothed another frayed nerve. They were sparking live-wire and only Hux could settle the danger.

“Keep talking? Please.” In the darkness, it felt like such a silly request. Huxley understood. Of course he did.

“Uh, well Damien beat me at volleyball again. Our little spitfire, huh? He gloated very humbly. Gavin made so many innuendos, and I’m pretty sure he and Xavier snuck off half-way through to go fuck but oh well. It was fun, I just wish you and Lasko could’ve been there you know… would’ve been nice to have all my people in one spot.” He lamented a little sadly, squeezing them even tighter.

A kiss was pressed to his sternum, and his stomach jumped with the feeling.

“I love you, Hux.”

“I love you too baby, go to sleep if you can. I’ll be here.” His chest rumbled under their cheek with every word, relaxing them more than any pharmaceutical had ever been able. He kept it up; rambling about the sunflowers he saw, about his moms, about their other partners, upcoming games, anything and everything.

It was nearing on 3:30am when he finally slowed, voice dipping quieter. Tilting back, he admired the sight that greeted him.

His darling Flower passed out on his chest, taking comfort in the place they knew they’d always find safety. Huxley took such pride in being able to comfort his partners, being more than a scary jock stereotype. He kissed their head once more, lingering there to cope with the rising emotions he faced.

Throat clogged with hushed love declarations, he choked out “I love you. Sleep well, flower.”

The shelter they found within his arms could never be replaced. It was unspoken, unconditional happiness.

They were safe. They could sleep.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter seven

Chapter Seven

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine. Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels. Chapter Warnings: major fluff word count: 3.9k From the beginning <3

Spencer wakes up to the sound of Amoreena calling for her mother and the feeling of Y/N’s arms wrapped around his middle, finding her way to being the big spoon during the night.

“Dad? Where’s my mom?” Amoreena calls again from outside Spencer's door.

“She’s in here, but don’t come in yet, give her a minute to wake up,” he calls back, hoping she listens and doesn’t come barging in.

Y/N lets out a deep sigh as she sits up, still naked under the covers from the activities from the night before but not concerned in the slightest. She gets out of bed and grabs some fresh shirts from the closet before finding both their underwear on the floor, tossing them at Spencer and telling him to put everything on.

Once they’re finally dressed she opens the bedroom door and scoops up the little one, bringing her back into the bed with them so they can all cuddle.

“What the heck?” Is all Amoreena can ask, “why are you in here?”

“We had a sleepover,” Y/N explains softly, holding Amoreena closer to her and Spencer snuggles in too. “I’m thinking about moving my stuff into here too, so that me and your dad can share and we won’t wake you up by talking at night.”

“Is that why GG’s dress is hanging up there? Are you getting married?” She was full of questions, as always.

It makes them both laugh, “what if we already got married?” Y/N teases her, poking her side lightly.

She starts to pout, real tears forming in her eyes as she pulls away from them to sit at the foot of the bed, “why would you do it without me?” they both rush to console her, wrapping her up in a group hug.

“Not for real, we were just pretending to be married honey, I promise,” Y/N tries to explain softly, “did you want me to have a wedding?”

She nods softly, “like in Enchanted, but I’m your daughter and you marry Spencer and you can have a big puffy dress and I can get one too, can I be the flower girl?”

“Of course we’ll get married for you, just the three of us can plan something okay?” Y/N compromised, making a reference Spencer didn’t understand.

“We have to do it in New York like in the movie,” Amoreena was very serious, looking at them with a stern gaze.

There was a whole world of movies and music that built Amoreena’s personality that he was going to have to learn, he was going to be spending a lot of late nights on Disney+.

“We’ll find a way,” Y/N agreed before kissing Amoreena’s forehead.

“Okay,” she smiled nice and wide, wiping her tears away and cuddling in-between Spencer and Y/N.

She turned more towards Spencer, placing her head on his chest while Y/N spooned into her. The three of them cuddled up in one knot, and Amoreena was a snuggle bug. She cuddled right in and made a tiny home in his arms and he was going to hold her for as long as she wanted to be held.

Y/N couldn’t stop smiling at him, he’d glance to her every few minutes to see her gaze hadn’t moved; she was so content seeing the little family they made, all together and happy as they snuggled up closer and closer till Amoreena felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore and pushed them both away.

“I need to go feed the chickens,” she whispered, still on Spencer’s chest as Y/N got out of the bed, “would you like to help, dad?”

He kissed her little forehead before she sat up, “I’d love to, can I put some jeans on and meet you downstairs?”

“Sure!” She cheered, jumping off the bed and running out the door. Her feet smacking the hardwood floor, making the floor creak and pop as she marched down the cold wooden steps.

“How are you feeling this morning?” He asks Y/N with a small smile, remembering what happened the night before.

She nodded softly, smiling while she suppressed a laugh, “I feel like a teenager again, like my mom's going to know I lost my virginity the second I see her.”

Spencer laughed too, “you haven’t?”

“I said again,” she laughed again, sitting back down on the bed and laying her head in his lap, “I wouldn’t say I’ve been celibate all this time, but yeah no one’s done that with me in a while, it’s normally just me and these bad boys.”

She put both hands in the air, doing jazz hands as she raised her eyebrows, “I love you,” the words had their own agenda as he said them unconsciously.

“I love you!” She wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him down into a big kiss, making the classic smooch noise as they pulled apart and smiled.

“Can I take you on a date this week? Maybe Thursday night, because you don’t work on Fridays?” he felt nervous as if she wasn’t pretending to be his wife currently like she’d reject him for some ungodly reason.

“Yeah, I’d love that, my mom won't mind doing Amoreena’s bedtime routine, she’d probably love to have a sleepover at their house,” Y/N’s eyes were gleaming at the prospect of spending more time alone with him.

He placed his left hand on her stomach softly, staring at the ring on his finger before letting his eyes trail her body. She was in just a pair of underwear and a shirt that used to be her grandma's, beautiful as ever as the sunrise cast an orange glow over her.

His wife.

“Thank you,” she cut into the moment of silence, “for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

She got up and sat in his lap then, straddling his hips and holding his face in her hands so she could get a good look at his chocolate eyes, she ran her thumb over his cheeks, kissing the freckle on top of his eyebrow and the tip of his nose gently, “she has your nose.”

Knowing she saw it too made his heart physically burn, it caught fire in his chest and he felt like he couldn’t breathe “yeah?”

“My mom said she looked like a Who when she was born,” she pushed his nose up with her finger like he was a pig, “it’s so perfect and cute.”

“Thank you,” he can’t help but feel emotional.

“Hey,” she teases him again, “It was my turn to say that, so bear with me for a second before I get too emotional at 7 in the morning.”

“Okay,” he whispered, ready to listen intently to how she felt about him.

“You told me something very difficult for you, that was a secret I’m sure no one else knows about, I can tell by the way you panicked last night that this is a serious anxiety you have about never being a father,” her voice was soft as she brushed his hair behind his ears, running her fingers through the curls ever so gently. “You’re a father, hopefully of two”

It made him laugh as a tear trickled down his cheek, pressing his lips together as he listened, not wanting to disrupt all the thoughts she was going to unload on him because it was a ticket into her mind. He was finally learning her feelings and what she thought about him, not just in a fairytale glow, but in the ugly as well.

“If you ever want to talk about her we can,” she changed the subject.

“Maeve was probably a wonderful woman if you loved her enough to wish you had kids with her, she’s technically the reason I have Amoreena, you wouldn’t have donated again without what happened to her,” she made a great point, bringing a positive light to the worst day of his life.

“You’re a wonderful man and I love you very much, being open with me was really appreciated, getting to do what we did last night was very special to me, so thank you,” she smiled softly before kissing him on the lips again.

“Thank you for being the person I can talk to about this stuff, it’s been really scary,” he admitted softly about to cry when they heard the front door slam close.

“And she’s off,” Y/N smiled again, pressing their noses together. “You need to go with her, she’s very impatient.”

“I know,” he smiled. “But I need to tell you that it runs a lot deeper than what you saw last night. I’m a mess in here and it’s not going away overnight because I’ve found my family.”

“I know,” she nodded ever so softly so their noses brushed again. “I am always here to talk, or we can get you a therapist or sign you up for groups, anything you need to feel better, I’m here to assist in making this beautiful brain feel more loved.”

“Thank you,” he whispered again. “So, if I planned a big date night and requested that you wear your best princess dress and meet me at the door for 6, you’d be down?” He teases her.

She couldn’t help but laugh, “sure, cutie, any colour dress do you want me in?”

“I think red would fit the theme I’m thinking of,” saying a little of his plans and not too much, unsure exactly what he wants to do with her first.

She pinched his cheeks as he smiled, “I don’t get any hints?”

“Nope, and I have chickens to feed,” he said, moving her off his lap and getting ready for the day finally.

—

They both sent Amoreena off to school with a hug and a kiss at the bus stop, exchanging I love you’s and saying they’d see her once she got home. Then Spencer kissed Y/N goodbye as she got ready for work, heading to the main house to talk to her mother about Thursday.

He knocked on the front door, being told to come in, he was family now after all.

“Good morning Spencer, would you like some breakfast?” Linda offered with a big smile, exactly like Y/N’s.

“I’d love some,” he gladly followed her into the kitchen, taking a mug of coffee and a homemade cinnamon roll from her. Amoreena already had one this morning before the bus, leaving a single missing spot in the middle of the pan.

“Would you be able to watch over Amoreena on Thursday night so I can take Y/N out on a real date?” He asks with all the confidence in the world, knowing her mother would say yes regardless.

“Oh absolutely!” She beamed, “what were you planning?”

“Can you keep a secret?” He asked before picking up his coffee with his left hand.

“That’s her grandfather's ring,” Linda pointed it out with a smile growing on her face, it was motherly pride if he’s ever seen it, “she finally did it.”

She must have told her mom the plan, her long-time dream of marrying a good person in that field. Someone to have a family with, someone to give Amoreena siblings and all the extra love in the world, and she picked him.

He nodded softly, “last night we got pretend married, and Amoreena got very upset when she learned we did that without her.”

Linda nodded with a soft smile, “they’re attached at the hip, sometimes I think Amoreena is just a clone of her and then I met you.”

He laughed through his nose, eyes wide as he smirked, “well, actually I might be her father.”

Linda sprouted the same expression Y/N had last night when she found out, “huh?”

He sighed, “I donated sperm the month before she got pregnant with Amoreena, my friends said there should be more geniuses in the world and it’s not like I was getting married any time soon.”

Linda just smiled and shook her head with that same sigh of love that must run in the family, she walked over to him and gave him a small hug as he sat at the kitchen table.

“So, Spencer, tell me about yourself?” Linda asked as she sat down beside him with her own coffee and cinnamon roll, getting to know her son-in-law for the first time ever.

He was in there, laughing and bonding with her for over an hour, seeing Y/N drive down the driveway towards work from the kitchen window with a smile. Discussing his ideas for the date, telling her about his family and the dream he always had about running away to a place like this.

“Fate is funny like that, she knows what you need and when you need it,” Bob cut into the conversation, listening from the back door for a few minutes. “you're here for a reason, Spencer.”

He felt like he was on the set of an old movie about family love that always had a happy ending, he didn’t believe that any of it was real. For a second he wondered if he’s been in a coma for the last week, that this was all just a fever dream after crashing his bike on the way to the park, it was all too perfect.

He thanked them for breakfast with a hug, becoming a hugger to fit into her family and he didn’t even mind it. It was nice to be loved truly, not just because they were obligated to, but because they wanted him in their family.

—

His next stop of the day was Penelope’s apartment, he knocked on the door softly and waited patiently for her to answer, smiling wide at the surprise of Spencer behind her door.

“I need your help,” he says before she can even welcome him.

She was still in her robe, a sleep mask over one eye and her hair standing in every direction known to man “what did you do?”

“Nothing, I need a womanly touch for the date I’m planning,” he admitted, turning pink at the embarrassment of coming to her for this.

“What’s the plan?”

“Can I tell you on the way there?”

She raised her eyebrows, “come in and give me a few minutes, you can explain why you’re wearing a ring while I change…”

“For not being a profiler, you sure are good at this,” he avoided her question as he walked into her apartment, sitting right by her bedroom door so he could talk to her through the door.

“It’s a really long story, but essentially her fiancé died when she was 23 so she’s terrified of real weddings and wanted to just tell me she loves me and call me her husband without waiting or making a big fuss about it all,” he explained it as simply as possible. Not sure if he should tell her about the chat he had with Derek. “And we found out I might be Amoreena’s real father anyway.”

She peaked her head out the door, nothing on now and not wanting him to see. It wasn’t like she got naked when she was drunk and shown him everything before, he just laughed as she smiled at him. “If you need help tracking down any other kids, I can do it?”

He felt a little betrayed but he understood, Derek and Penelope had a bond where secrets never slipped out but they did tell each other everyone else's, “he told you?”

“No, I knew you donated because they did a background check into you at the bureau, and I was the one who had to send them the files,” Penelope admitted. “I wanted you to be the one to tell me, but I don’t think you ever would have.”

He shook his head softly, “I just wanted a family one day however I could get one, and when Rossi met Joy I knew it could bring me the same kind of happiness he has with her and Kai."

“You’re going to be a wonderful dad Spencer,” she tried to not get all teary-eyed as she stood behind the door with nothing on, “anyway continue?”

She slipped back into the room and the two of them continued to yell their gossip back and forth through the door before she finally walked out in her most Penelope outfit to date, “and we’re taking my car. It’s top-down weather, finally.”

It’s not that she was a bad driver, it’s just she barely followed any rules. She drove too fast and passed people when she shouldn’t and it stressed Spencer out, but he was too in love to really be bothered by it today. Taking an hour-long journey to Richmond, pulling into the Edgar Allen Poe Museum.

He was a member here, paying them every month to take care of the grounds and the cats, even tracking down some rare pieces from Poe’s collection to donate to them. He was their favourite customer and patron, and they were very excited for him to finally introduce his new love to one of his favourite places ever.

He rented out the Enchanted Garden for Thursday night, being trusted there alone after hours and granted a key to lock up before he left. Penelope and he picked out lights and blankets, what kind of dinner they’d have and drinks.

“So I’ll make sure your picnic basket is all ready and here waiting for you to arrive,” Penelope planned, reading through the list of things she was going to do to help on Thursday afternoon. “What kind of wine does she like?”

“Oh,” Spencer took a second to think, she might want some wine but she’s also hoping to get pregnant, it could help but it could be a hindrance, he didn’t know how to reply.

“Does she not drink?”

“Can you keep a secret?” The second time he asked that question this morning.

“No fucking way,” she whispered, smacking his arm. “Already?”

“No, I’m not sure, we only tried yesterday,” he feels the anxiety in his chest as he explains it, “It doesn’t work that fast which is why I don’t know if we should.”

“Believe me, wine is a good baby-making tool,” she smiled. “I’ll add some anyway and if she does, she does, if she doesn’t oh well, you know where I live.”

It was so easy with Penelope, she understood everything he did without questioning him. Rooting for him and his future family behind closed doors, always trying to get him with someone in the years she knew him, wanting him to get all that “sweet, sweet loving” Derek raved about.

“Do you think she’ll like this? Be honest.” His anxiety slipped back up his throat and past his vocal cords.

Penelope wrapped him up in a big hug, remembering the statistic that people with Autism and anxiety sometimes relaxing better when held with a certain pressure applied. It worked every time.

“She loves you, you wouldn’t be trying for a baby or wearing that ring if she didn’t,” reassuring as always.

“Do you know anything about Taylor Swift?”

It makes her laugh as she pulls back, “why?”

“She’s Y/N and Amoreena’s favourite person on the earth, I know nothing about celebrities, you know that, and I was thinking about getting them tickets or something this summer if she’s doing anything?” He was desperate to do anything to make his girls smile. “I need a Taylor Swift crash course, is there a new Taylor Swift fan for dummies book?”

“Spencer Reid, do I have news for you,” Penelope wrapped her arm around him once again as she rocked him back and forth with glee, “Rossi’s stepdaughter is her is a socialite in New York and one of miss Swifts friends… let's see what we can do.”

And with that, they left the museum with Penelope's arm still wrapped around him as they went back to her car, listening to Taylor Swift while she spat facts out to Spencer, helping him learn everything he could for his wife and kid.

—

He was the only one home when Amoreena got off the bus, running into his arms and giving him a big hug, “Dad!” She cheered the second he held her, kissing the top of her head as he carried her back to the house. “Where is mom?”

“She’s out buying a new dress for a date we’re going on,” he couldn’t help but over exaggerate his voice when he talked to her, it made it more magical for her little world. “How was school?”

“Awesome!” She swooned, “we started our fathers day presents early cause we won't have class after next week.”

He playfully gasps, stopping abruptly in his tracks to look at her in shock, “You can’t tell me anything about it, they’re supposed to be surprise gifts!”

“I know,” she laughed wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning against his shoulder while they walked, “I just wanted you to know one is coming, you always tell me about your gifts early, like at the museum.”

“Well, thank you for telling me,” he kissed her soft forehead softly before smiling.

She was so smart, her mother had raised her to be the most caring and considerate child. She picked up on everything, she wanted to please everyone, she was the sweetest ever.

“Do you have any homework tonight?”

“Nope! Can we watch a movie?”

He just held her cheek to his in a hug while they walked, “of course my sweet Amoreena, what would you like to watch?”

“It’s a surprise,” she whispered, struggling out of his arms and to the ground before running towards the house without him.

He walks in to see her standing in front of the tv with the remote, flipping through the channels and opening Netflix. Going to her mom's profile, down to the watchlist and clicking on the Taylor Swift Reputation Tour before taking off up the stairs to go get something.

“We made this a few months ago,” it was a piece of paper that she handed to him. “It’s the rules for when mom finally got a date, you’re her boyfriend right?”

He opened the folded lined paper, “I am,” he smiled.

Boy/girlfriend rules:

Must be royalty of some kind (or smart like a wizard)

Has to know all the words to Taylor swift’s songs

Likes to read books all the time

Have to like all the candy Amoreena doesn’t so that someone can eat the leftovers from her Halloween candy bag.

Has to be able to name all the Disney princesses

Must like cats. No if’s and's or butts.

It made him laugh, every rule was clearly Amoreena’s idea and Spencer must have ticked off all the boxes if she’s calling him dad already.

“You have to learn all the words to Taylor Swift, then you’ll be her boyfriend for real,” Amoreena informed him. “We have to follow the rules.”

“Well then, put the captions on so I can sing along,” Spencer compromised.

She hugged him with a big smile “you’re the best dad in the world.”

“You’re the best daughter,” he whispered as he held her back. “You make every day better by just being here.”

“So do you,” she replied before kissing his cheek softly and settling onto the couch beside him. “Thank you for wanting to be my dad.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s.”

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

[lotti-lyric]

Hola! I saw your post and I wanted to request a romantic matchup! I would very much prefer a male U-A student (if you can make that possible).

Ok so I am a female, and I am 5’9 (ik I’m that one tall kid lol). I have long brown hair/curls (like very curly). I would like to call myself an ambivert because one minute I can be chill and just relaxing my bed, and the next minute I could be bouncing of walls. I am a Scorpio (and some how a mix of Libra). I am Demisexual but I do prefer males/he/him. I have brown eyes that are usually dark, but kinda light up in the sun. I’m a minor teenager! I wouldn’t say I’m big, but I’m definitely not skinny either, so probably more on the curvy side. I have skinny legs, and skinny arms but wider thighs (and dare I say it, stomach rolls).

My dress style is kinda weird. Like one day I could wear all black, and the next I could be in a mix match mood. However I do prefer the dark/light academia aesthetic.

Ok my personality is a lot of things, I can be very sweet at most times but I have probably one of the shortest tempers in the world. Whenever somebody gives me attitude, I tend to reflect their attitude and give them the same one back. I try to avoid lying as much as possible, but I am very sarcastic. In school I am mostly known for my sweet and sassy character (mostly for laughs lol). I am socially awkward, and I (unfortunately) do have anxiety that puts me into bad moods sometimes. If there is a friend group, believe it or not; I’m the mother of the group. Sometimes I can be a control freak, but I tend to realize days later. I do like being the sender of attention (in the good way).

I have an obsession to listening to music. At random timss of the day, I will pop on my Bluetooth earphones and begin dancing. I like pop music (preferably Ariana Grande), Rnb music, and music in my saved TikTok sounds.

If I know somebody very well I get very comfy around them. Idc how preppy my clothes are out in public, at home I like to slip into an oversized shirt/hoodie, some comfortable pj shorts, and some high top socks.

My favorite season is Summer cause I for some reason love to be in the pool.

If I’m mad, I promise you if you give me some food (preferably Italian) I’ll forget our entire fight. I am also a huge chocolate lover.

I constantly search and wonder everyday how I will be able to achieve my dream job of becoming an actress. It’s absolutely my dream career, and I really hope to pursue it.

I cuddle with my pillow at night, because the thought of having someone next to you, comforting and holding you is my dream :(

When I’m bored I scroll through TikTok, instead of really making them.

I’m always flipping or dancing if you ever see me. I’ve been dancing since I was very little, and I got into gymnastics a couple years ago (unfortunately I had to quit cause of covid)

I’m not much a fearful person as I get older, the only thing that really scares me is death. I can watch horror movies like Chucky (cause he’s LOWKEY kinda funny), but Lord knows that you should never show me Annabelle. If you show me something scary, at night I will be clinging onto you shaking and begging you to turn some kind of light on.

Although I can tend to be lazy sometimes, I’m actually a very active person.

I sing, dance, act (you know the whole performance arts package).

I find humor, and kindness the most attractive thing in a person. I also kinda like people that can be sweet or fiery (you know getchu comebody who can do both).

I’m sorry for so much reading, this is my first time doing this. I hope this dosen’t make you struggle, so take your time! Luv you <3

charlottes interlude 💗- hi!! so i’m probably going to begin repeating characters if i feel it’s the best match!! but all the headcanons will be personalized and different so don’t worry, nothing really changed!! sorry for the delay loves, i’ve had class for 9 hours today (im still in class rn oops🧍🏼‍♀️)! i hope you enjoy, have a great one!! you seem so fun!

warnings; swearing, anxiety mention

i match you with…

Hitoshi Shinsou!!

- this for you both!! ^^

- absolutely loves everything about you!! you’re the most stunning person he’s ever seen and he’s not afraid to make sure others know that

- so expect a hand always around your waist

- he loves being surprised by your style each day! it’s become a game for him to message you his guess for ur aesthetic every morning!!

- crashing in comfy outfits in his dorm with him just holding you while ur playlist blasts on your speakers 💗 its so ethereal

- he loves how sweet you can be but also finds your attitude super cute!! he’s a pretty mellow guy but can also match the snarky, sarcastic energy you give him, leading to a lot of playful banter

“Can’t wait to absolutely decimate you for all you’re worth in Mario Kart later Toshi 🤪”

“Ohhh tsk tsk, in your dreams sweetheart, that mushroom cup has always belonged to me”

- he’s honestly such a sweet guy but ur humor aligns so well it’s so CHAOTIC

- always makes sure to help you any way you need if you feel anxious, even if it’s just through cuddles!! he loves your caring nature but he also loves to spoil you and give u a lot of attention!!

- he cannot dance. he loves watching you dance though!! he’s so amazed by what you can do!! he’ll try if you ask him, he wants to sweep you off your feet 💗 doesn’t mean he’ll be good though 💀

- have y’all slept with all the lights on after a horror movie binge?? absolutely 💀 worth it though

- loves to watch you preform!! you just light up UGH you’re his star GOODBYE

[good4olivia]

homework and the truth

Edward Cullen x Reader 

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Edward tells his human best friend that he’s a vampire and after she’s okay with it, he confess his feelings for her. 

A/N: requests are open! i do headcanons too :) + i did a skim edit so they may be some mistakes 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Y/N asked Edward while she was got herself a glass of water, “I never see you eat or drink anything, it’s kinda of weird.” She laughed. Her back was to him, while she was looking for a glass.

“I told you I’m on that special diet.” Edward chuckled.

“Right that one your foster doctor dad has you on.” Y/N said skeptically. She knew something was different about that family, there was just too many weird things to ignore but every time she tried asking Edward about it he’d brush her off and the mood would damper so she let it go.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Y/N asked as she sat next to Edward on the sofa.

“We have homework to do, love.” Edward would always call Y/N cute nicknames like that. At first he thought that she would find it weird but she never said anything. Edward couldn’t read her mind, something that frustrates him a lot especially considering he was basically in love with her but couldn’t make up his mind if she felt the same way or not. Sometimes he was positive she felt the same way but then she would talk about another boy at school and all the doubt came running back.

“Ugh, you’re always the voice of reason. But do we have to do it here? Can’t we go to the place you know in the woods? That pretty meadow?” Y/N asked. Edward had taken her there a few times on the weekend.

“It’s already 4, it takes an hour and a half to get there and it would be dark by that time. We can go on the weekend?” Times like these Edward wished he could tell his best friend that he was a vampire, it takes him 5 minutes to get the meadows when he’s running and he just wants to do what makes her happy but he’s too scared that she will want nothing to do him with anymore and he can’t stand the idea of loosing her.

“Yeah you’re right. Ugh okay, enough procasnating. Should we start with math? Get it over and done with?” She suggested. She liked having Edward over for study dates, it made it easier that had the same homework being in basically every class together (what she didn’t know, was that was no condience on Edwards part).

Of course, Edward knew everything the teacher taught, probably better than the teachers themselves and could do the homework within seconds but he dumbs it down to spend time with you and help you with your homework.

—

“I love doing homework with you, it’s only 5:30 and we’re already done!” Y/N exclaimed as she packed up her books, “Do you have to go home? Or can you hang out for a bit?’

“Of course.” Edward smiled, it always made him happy when Y/N wanted to spend time with him, especially cause he got self-conscious about taking up too much of her time.

They decided to put on a movie and within the few hours, Y/N had subconsciously moved closer and closer to Edward until her head was on his shoulder. They had never really been this close before and Edward could hear Y/N hearts racing. Edward knew his heart would’ve been the same if it wasn’t dead.

“It’s getting late, your parents are probably expecting you soon.” Y/N said, though she didn’t want him to leave.

“Can I tell you something? Before I go home?” Edward asked nervously. He had to tell her he was a vampire. Nothing really happened this evening but the little that did happen only made him want more.

“Yeah sure.” Y/N answered, she could sense the that something was wrong and she was worried. “Is everything okay?”

“I hope so. So you know how I’m on that diet and how I always text you back even if it’s 3am or how all my siblings and I look a lot alike even though we’re not related?” Edward started off, he could hear her heart racing and suddenly he wanted to back out. All anxieties about how she was going to react came flooding back to him.

It had been a moment or two and he hadn’t elaborated more, “Edward? Can you please just tell me what’s going on. I promise you can trust me, whatever it is I won’t run away and I won’t tell anyone.”

Even without his ability to read her mind, from the look in her eyes he could tell she meant what she said, “I’m a vampire Y/N.”

Y/N eyes tore away from Edward and she felt her stomach drop. Not in a million years would she guess this was Edward’s secret. She loved Edward, how could he be this monster? She stood up from the couch and took a few step backs, “The-The hikers that have gone missing, the supposed animal attacks? Was that you and your family?”

Edward stood up, which caused Y/N to take another few steps back. This was Edward’s worst fear, for Y/N too see him for what he was, a monster. “No love, I promise my family and I we are different from others of our kinds. We only drink the blood of animals, thats why were able to stay in one town for so long. Please, you have to believe me. I can’t lose you.”

“How can I believe you?” Y/N whispered. Part of her knew that Edward wouldn’t hurt her, they had been friends for months, he had plenty of chances to hurt her if that was his true intention.

“You would ask about my eyes, why they change colours. When they’re black, it means I haven’t hunted in a few weeks and when they turn back to topaz, it means I’ve hunted - on animals not humans. If I fed on a human, my eyes would red. Does that make sense?” He sounded so desperate, he knew he did but he hoped she could believe him.

“What about those missing hikers? Was it really just animals?” She asked, Good, this is good. This means she probably believe me. Edward thought.

“Those were nomads passing through, we made sure they’re not coming back I promise. I would never let them hurt you.” Edward realised after it was too late that his last sentence was a bit too intense but it didn’t seem to make her more anxious, possibly the opposite.

“Do you want me to leave?” Edward asked softly.

Y/N shook her head, she moved closer to Edward and wrapped her arms around him, “I guess this is also why you’re so cold.” She laughed.

“Yeah. So you’re okay with all this, you still want to be my friend?” Edward asked, needing the confirmation.

“I know that I freaked out a little at first but I really did mean it when I said you can trust me.” Y/N said.

Edward nodded, it was completely rational for her to be a bit freaked out but he was happy she came around. Realising that he just did the one thing he was most terrified of, he decided the other thing wasn’t as scary.

“There’s something else actually.” Edward started off,

“Don’t tell me Forks is also home to witches and werewolves.” Y/N joked.

Edward chuckled, “No, the witches at least,” Y/N eyes widen, “Another time love. But what I wanted to tell you was that I love you.”

“I love you too Edward, you know that-“

“No not like that, not like a friend. I love you as something more.” Edward told her.

Y/N didn’t say anything after a moment, Edward started to panic, “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way-“

“No! I mean, yes I do feel the same way. I love you, Edward. I just- I just didn’t think it would be possible for you to feel the same way about me. I mean I’m me and you’re you.” She confessed.

“If only you could see yourself the way I saw you.” He told her as he brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” She smiled.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. Kissing her was everything he ever thought it would be and he only broke up apart so he would have time to catch her breathe.

“I love kissing you.” Y/N gigged and leaned her head into his chest.

Edward pressed her further into his chest and kissed her forehead, “Can I stay over tonight?” He really didn’t want to think about going home right now, not after getting what he wanted ever since he first met her.

“Yeah. My mum usually goes straight to bed after her shift and she doesn’t wake up before I go to school.” Y/N explained to him.

Y/N got herself another glass of water, she was so happy knowing the real reason why Edward never drank or ate anything and especially that they were boyfriend and girlfriend now.

She loved seeing Edward laying in her bed, “You don’t sleep do you?”

“No, not ever.” He answered.

“Won’t you get bored all night?” She wondered.

“I’m never bored when I’m with you.” He confessed to her.

She climbed under the covers and turned on her TV, “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hmm and you’re my girlfriend.” He said while pulling her closer to him.

[fangirlofbooksandpasta]

The Ghost

Sirius Black x Reader 

Warnings: Angst (but fluff in the end), my English

Summary: reader starts seeing Sirius after his incarceration in Azkaban

Being inside the little house they bought together was like being inside the stomach of a wolf. Or in a space ship far from earth. Or 300 years forward in time. Nothing was recognisable, nothing felt like home, and everything felt alien and scary.

It had been many years, over a decade. She easily lost track of time, but this time she always counted. Year after year, month after month. She would light a candle on the day he was taken away and she would bake a cake on his birthday. Remus came and celebrated with her, although that usually consisted of them eating a slice or two while drinking tea. The silence was full of words they weren’t going to say out loud, as if the words could be caught in the air by them. Otherwise she was mostly alone in the house. The wallpaper was old, some of the surfaces dusty. It looked crooked and it croaked like a choir of frogs when there was a storm outside. During one particular storm, one that scared her in a way storms hadn’t been able to before, he had come back. Storms were horrible in the little old house, it felt as if it was going to fall apart around her. But he came back. She heard his soft voice whisper her name loud enough for her to hear over the house complaining about its state. At first she had told herself that she was imaging it, a mix of random sounds that combined sounded like that. But then she kept hearing it, which made her turn around in the warm bed. She saw him. Long hair, deep eyes, tired face – the same way he looked when they took him away. Only he was wearing his favourite suit instead of prison clothing. She closed her eyes, hard, which made her see colours in the blackness of it. When she opened them again, he was gone. And she was convinced that it was just her going insane and that she needed to eat healthier.

The next time was the night he was taken away. She had just lit the candle and was sitting on the floor in front of the little flame, in which she looked. She felt as if she could see faces in there, memories playing in front of her like a movie on a big screen.

‘Do you do that every year?’ she heard his voice ask. She quickly turned around, making the flame tremble at the sudden gush of air. He was sitting in the dusty armchair, relaxed. She was afraid, for a long moment, but only until he sent her a smile. That smile that only he could make. The one that made his eyes sparkle like a fountain of youth. The one that started a fire inside her soul. It made her feel alive, so she answered.

‘I do, in memoriam,’ she answered quietly. She could hear him stepping out of the armchair and walking towards her until he sat down beside her.

‘I’m not dead though,’ he stated with an ounce of humour in his voice. She turned to look at him, realising that he was much closer to her than she had first anticipated.

‘Until you come back home, you may as well be,’ she whispered as a tear found its way down her cheek. She turned to look at him after he didn’t respond, only to find him gone again. So she resumed to watch the flame until it was nothing.

One of the most memorable of his visits was when she was having an anxiety attack. She felt as if her world was crumbling around her, like she was in space but the space shrank instead of expanded around her. But then a hand touched her shoulder, a touch she instantly recognised as his.

‘What’s wrong, my love?’ he asked in a calm voice. She tried to breathe in before she told him what was wrong. But before the words could exit her mouth she took his cold hand in hers, and he tightened his grip.

‘I don’t like it here, alone, in this house we bought together. To be together in. The house creaks at every movement I make, like a monster that’s going to eat me whole. Some days I’m too afraid and tired to get out of bed. I starve myself, I can’t dress myself,”

‘I’m sorry,’ was all she could hear him say. He sobbed quietly for some minutes while he still held her hand tightly in his own.

‘Do you remember when we just moved here? They would all visit, and Harry would play in the garden. Do you remember when he found a frog and played with it?’ she said quietly, turned to face him. He was smiling a comforting smile, sadness in his eyes. She could see that it was killing him to see her in that way, as if he felt guilty for it.

‘I do. And when those cakes you and Remus baked always tasted absolutely amazing,’ he said. She laughed quietly and looked out of a window. The rain had quieted off.

‘We still make one, every year.’

‘Yeah? What occasion?’ he asked. She held a pause before she looked at him again.

‘Your birthday.’ She stated. ‘We drink tea and eat the cake. Sometimes Remus talks about his latest job, you know how hard it is for him…’ she trailed off, looking outside again with a longing stare. ‘But I never see anyone else. I stay here, only go out when necessary, for food or wood for the fire. There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back.’

‘What does it tell you?’ he asked her.

‘If I go, just for a second, you may come back and I’ll miss that moment. That if I go the house will disappear, fall apart. And this house is the only thing I have, the only thing with you attached to it. You’re gone, you disappeared. We all watched in happen right before our eyes. They dragged you out like a wild animal, and I remember the way you looked at me. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I did that night,’ she said and they both went quiet. The only thing they were able to hear was the raindrops falling on the roof and the birds beginning to sing their songs. ‘Will we meet again?’ she asked, looking at him again.

‘When you fall asleep one day,’ he whispered and looked back at her. His eyes were filled with sorrow, his whole demeanour changed. ‘But I want you to live your life. I want countless of stories when you meet me again,’ he stated with a sad smile. She smiled back at him.

‘Are you a ghost, Sirius?’ she asked in a quiet whisper. It took him a moment to answer her question.

‘I’m what you want me to be, a ghost, a soul, a memory.’

She woke up with her hand on her shoulder and a picture of him in the other, realised what had happened. She pushed the half empty cup of old tea away and got up to write a letter to Remus. She intended to have countless stories.

And in the same room, invisible to her, stood Sirius and smiled.

[marlahey]

wsitd part fifteen (sneak peek)

a shawn mendes rpf fic rating/warnings: can anyone tell I still find fandom really annoying misc notes: so...hello again. literally so much has happened since the last time you saw me, so much that all I can really say at this point is that I hope you’re all safe and well, despite everything. I swore I wouldn’t abandon this fic and I haven’t! thank god for that. I wish I could’ve finished it for today as planned, but my job’s been nuts for the last few weeks and it totally ruined my writing mojo. in any case, here’s the first last ~3k of we stumbled in the dark. happy second birthday, wsitd. I can’t believe how old you are, suddenly. thank you to everyone who’s messaged me over the last little while and especially in the last few months when this last part was only like 300 words deep and felt so vast and scary. I can’t tell you how much your support has meant to me.  (oh and pls just pretend for the sake of an upcoming scene not found here, Taylor’s Lover is already out in the world. just– just pretend. you’ll see.)  so without further ado:  (previously; start at part one here; find all parts here) (toronto; now) Shawn wants to FaceTime. Slide to answer.

His voice appears first. “Before you say anything, it’s not as bad as it looks.” “What–” You straighten automatically. “Shawn? Are you okay?” Bruises. On his beautiful face. Bruises and a tiny cut below his left eye, the beginnings of a scab along his jaw. Shawn’s rueful expression calms the start of your heart, like jumper cables jolting a battery into a steady rhythm. “I’m an idiot.” “What happened?” you demand, trying not to sound shrill or hysterical. He’s not dying. But his face. “You’re going to laugh at me.” ��I won’t.” You’re too glad to hear from him – it’s been two weeks of rain checks and brief goodnight calls. Shawn sighs. The soft light of whatever room he’s in makes his features hazy. It’s late in Nashville. “I fell off a Bird.” “A what now?” “It’s a…” Shawn chuckles like he knows what he’s about to say sounds ridiculous. “Like a motorized scooter?” “Is that even a thing?” Your phone pings with messages: too-high, too-bright angles of him grinning, one hand on the handlebars of said motorized scooter, shots from behind of Parker and Geoff that are too blurry to be Kelsey’s work. Your heart pangs. “So totally worth it, huh?” He laughs. “Yes. Absolutely. I just wanted to tell you first before I like, story it or whatever. Didn’t want you to worry.” “Aren’t you performing? That country music thing?” “Tomorrow,” Shawn nods. You’re too late to conceal your wince. “National television, I know.” “Good thing you’re not just a pretty face?” He laughs so hard that he tips out of frame. Joy blooms inside your chest. “Ow. I think I bruised a rib. Damn El, way to kill a guy’s ego.” “Yeah,” you retort, “because your ego definitely needs taking down a peg.” It’s so easy with him. Somehow you’d forgotten that, amidst everything. A strange kind of sadness sticks in your throat. It clearly shows on your face because Shawn tilts his head. “What is it?” You almost say, nothing. “I miss you,” comes out instead. It feels like weakness, this honesty. You couldn’t really articulate why. “I’m sorry, I–” “I miss you too.” Shawn cuts you off so rarely in conversation that you genuinely stop out of surprise. His smile softens, oddly serious, as though he can hear the lost words: I know I put us here. “Every day.” There’s nothing accusatory in it, nothing reluctant or angry. Shawn says, I miss you, like he’d say, I love this song, with unequivocal certainty and ease. How can you feel better and worse at the same time? “One day at a time, right?” Shawn says gently. You nod. It’s what you agreed, after all. “You should get some rest,” you say. “Near death scooter experiences have to be exhausting.” Shawn snorts, his laugh crinkling around his eyes. It settles you in a way that you have to hang onto, in the days to come. “You sure you’re okay?” you ask, partly so he can’t pose the question himself. “Totally fine, El. I promise.” He’s giving you the out and you both know it. Shawn’s fingertips brush the edges of his camera, like he’s reaching for you through it. (He’s probably just adjusting his grip, but it’s a nice thought nonetheless.) “Call me tomorrow?” he asks. “We have the day off. Maybe we can watch a movie or something.” “Sure. Sweet dreams.” Shawn never hangs up first. He’s always still looking when you end the call, like he’ll never be able to stare for long enough. *

(new york; then) You If you only had one day in NYC what would you guys do with it?

Parker How much time are we talking actually? You As of right now?  Charlie Precision is essential Sinclair. You 37 hours. I’m on the red-eye out tomorrow. You Already packing. No one asks why, though you’re sure there are questions. The band doesn’t voice them in the group chat, much to your relief. Geoff Sophie’s all over it. Have you guys eaten dinner? Shawn Nope, cancelled our reservation last minute. Geoff Be ready in 45. Coming to get you. Brian PIZZA. PIZZA. PIZZA. Suddenly there’s like a hundred pizza emojis blowing up your phone. You’re still laughing when Ava comes to check on you. The laughing might become crying but no one needs to know that. * (toronto; now) “I’ve been thinking about getting another tattoo.” “Oh yeah?” You’d nearly forgotten how much you miss home. High Park in the spring may not be Hyde or Central, but it’s yours all year round – even if you missed cherry blossom season by a mere two weeks. You’ve been lamenting it for three minutes, Shawn mhmm-ing in your ear at appropropriate intervals. He’s in a park too, a brief respite from rehearsal. It’s nice to trade photos of the view and pretend to be together. Tell me something new, you’d asked. This qualifies. “Is this another impulsive itch?” “I thought you liked my little meditative man!” “Oh I love it,” you assure him. You can picture Shawn’s false offense so clearly, struggling not to grin like a loon in front of an eldery couple sitting on a bench as you walk past. “I’ll never forget how terrible you and Brian are at it, and I love that you now have matching tattoos as a permanent reminder.” Shawn mhmm’s again, like he doesn’t believe you. Your cheeks hurt from trying not to laugh. “I’ve thought about it, you know.” “What, meditating?” “No you goof.” You lose that fight against a giggle, a stupid smile. “I mean, nothing against meditating. I’m sure my therapist would recommend it.” “Okay, so what have you thought about?” It sounds just suggestive enough – even in broad daylight at two in the afternoon – that a shiver races up your spine. He doesn’t mean that. But now that the idea’s in your head, you’ve definitely thought about that. “El? You still there?” “Yes!” you say, a little too high pitched. You have to clear your throat. “Hi. I meant a tattoo. I’ve been thinking about a tattoo.” Shawn mutters something too low to catch, your attention caught by laughing children chasing each other across the grass. “Sorry, what was that?” “Nothing.” He’s a terrible liar, but you let it slide. “That’s awesome! Do you know what? Or where? How is this the first I’m hearing of this?” Fondness for him swells like a wave. You shrug before you remember Shawn can’t see you. “I think I just wanted to put a lot of thought into my first one. Not...jinx it, or something? You have to be 18 right, so I figured if I still wanted it by my birthday that I’d just…” “Just what?” You swallow around a sudden knot. How the hell do people maintain long distance for years at a time? This feels like agony. “Get it when we came home from tour. I was gonna… I was gonna ask you to come with me.” “I still could, if you want.” “You’re only home a few days,” you object, half surprised even as the words leave your mouth. “You promised your parents you’d spend that time with them.” “Are you planning on getting a massive sleeve or something, El?” You snort. “No. I just...I know how precious your time at home is to you.” Shawn doesn’t say anything for a moment. Anxiety drops like a stone in your stomach. “I mean, if you get it soon, it’ll be pretty much healed by the time I’m back in the city. Might be a good idea.” You wish sometimes he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. “And if you were really mean, you wouldn’t even tell me what it was and I’d have to wait forever to find out.” “I haven’t completely decided yet,” you admit. “I know the artist I’d love though, down on Bathurst. I’ve been stalking her Instagram for like two years. I’ll send it to you.” “Can’t wait. I gotta go, I’m back at the venue. But I’ll call you later?” “See you Shawn. Have a great show.” “And El?” “Hmm?” “Unless you’re planning on getting it like, down your spine or something, it doesn’t hurt as much as everyone says. I dunno how much that scares you, but...it shouldn’t. You’re like, one of the bravest people I know.” A pause, in which you genuinely don’t know what to say. “That’s kinda dramatic. It’s not like, war or something. God. You know what I mean right? It’s really not that bad, I promise.” You haven’t cried in nineteen days. You’re not starting now. “Yeah. Thank you.” I love you. You’ve been swallowing those words for so long and you have no idea why. *

@lightsshawn: she’s gone guys we did it @cruelsummermp3: did what? @dancingwithshawn: got rid of ellie - she hasn’t been seen in three weeks! @afterglow: what the fuck is wrong with you guys? * Shawn For the record I said “Fuck that’s hot.” Shawn And then I thought it might be Shawn Too much. You Not too much at all. You Definitely not.

*

(new york; then) “Next!”

“I never thought I’d be so happy to line up for pizza.” You’re shoulder to shoulder with other patrons in Prince Street Pizza, inhaling the delicious scents of dough and cheese with Kelsey, Kristin, and Ava. The boys have bee-lined for the first available table that’s definitely too small for all of you, while Ava points out all the famous faces that line the walls beneath fairy lights. “I’m glad you’re here,” you tell her, barely loud enough over the din. Your sister just squeezes you gently. “Remind me to print some photos and buy some lights when I get home. I’m really digging this vibe.” “Think you’d get some use out of this?” Sometimes you could swear Ava’s purses are like Mary Poppins’.

“What the– when did you get that?” “From your Amazon wishlist, silly.” Your sister presses an Instax camera into your bewildered hands. “They’re cheaper here. I thought it might…” Ava’s smile softens. “Ease the sting a little. Be a nice project for your room? And I didn’t want you to lose that photography spark.” Not crying. “Did you put film in this already?” Ava nods. “Have at ‘er. Tonight seems like a good night.” You throw your arm around her neck, pointing the camera at your faces, twisting away from the people in line just behind you. The flash is so bright but it hurts in a way that’s almost sweet. “Next!” As predicted, there’s definitely not enough room at the table when you and the other women arrive with The Fancy Prince and a Spicy Spring pizzas. Shawn waves wordlessly towards him, sliding from the absurdly tall chair to offer it to you. As you clamber up, his arm snakes back around your chair and he steps back closer to you. On the outset it’s a space saving measure. But Shawn seems pretty comfortable eating with you essentially tucked against him. You can’t say you mind either. *

They sneak you into a bar.

(or more operatively, Kelsey slides a fake ID into your back pocket on the subway platform while you’re timing a shot of the train arriving. You gawk at it so long that you nearly trip through the doorway. It’s identical to your Ontario license – so much so that you have to check your wallet to make sure you haven’t irresponsibly lost your ID – save your birth year. Ava pointedly avoids your eyes. “Did you have something to do with the fact that I’m suddenly magically 21?” you ask Shawn. Just as he was pleased to eat pizza in close proximity, Shawn seems delighted to wrap his fingers just a few inches above yours around the centre pole inside the subway car. Looking up at him now, you know with a striking certainty that you’ll never tire of it either: the sharing space, the strokes of intimacy that seem so carefully brushed when you touch – incidental seconds hiding more yearning that you thought yourself able to feel. (You wonder if it’s mutual. You hope so.) Shawn just raises his eyebrows, reaching for the card between your fingers, but you jerk it back. “Oh no way are you seeing my driver’s photo.” “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he says, reaching into his back pocket. Shawn tightens his grip against the pole, stepping even closer as the car shifts back and forth. Something in your gut wants to flush at his words but he’s already extending an identical card to you, unabashed. The voice inside your head that used to see wanting whenever he looked at you now speaks in insistent imperatives: want. want. want. “Shawn Mendes.” You lower your voice in mock shock. “Are you telling you have–” you cast a furtive glance around the subway car, and he chuckles– “a fake ID?” Shawn tips his chin down towards you so that his mouth nearly touches your temple. “Don’t tell, El.” (You do flush this time, damn him.) The youthfulness of his face on his license startles you in a strange way. You forget sometimes that despite the two-ish years (and entire career) between you that makes Shawn feel much older sometimes, twenty isn’t exactly ancient. He can’t even legally drink tonight, for Pete’s sake. “You’re so cute,” he says quietly, like a secret. Your cheeks are hot when he hands you the counterfeit back to you. “And no, nothing to do with me.” “Will this even work? Don’t people get their licenses stolen by bars all the time because Americans don’t understand the concept of different countries?” Shawn shrugs. “Guess we’ll find out.”) You don’t end up needing the fake in a stroke of good luck, but it burns a hole in your pocket nonetheless. (Kristin hands you a red lipstick as you stand in line – “Just in case we gotta sell it.”; it makes Shawn double take in the reflection of the window.) Sophie exchanges pleasantries with the doorman at Hollow Nickel and he waves the group inside to a modest weekday crowd. “We got the first round,” says Geoff. Brian and Charlie blow a series of kisses. “Love you too, dorks.” Sophia returns with two bottles of red and a question in her eyes, to which Ava says, “Fries for everyone?” “Hear hear!” Parker tips his beer. “Got a toast in you, Sinclair?” “A toast?” All evening you’ve been thinking about Paris. And as everyone looks with warm expectancy, you finally have the words you didn’t then. “My birthday was one of the most memorable nights of my life. And I think I was worried that it was the only night like that I’d ever have. But it wasn’t really the city that I loved.” You can’t look right at Shawn. “Thank you.” You lift your glass. “For making that night and every night of this amazing journey so wonderful. I know we’ll see each other again, but I guess – we have tonight, and we’ll always have Paris. I love you guys so much.”

Not crying. “To you Sinclair!” Charlie tilts his bottle with a grin. “We’ll miss ya.” The sound of everyone reaching forward and their glasses clinking hurts too, in that same sweet and painful way. *

(toronto; now) Hey, it’s me. I think you’re either asleep or in rehearsal so don’t even worry about not picking up. I know it’s just a volunteering thing at the humane society but I’m like, weirdly very nervous about it, like god what if all the dogs hate me Shawn? How the fuck would I go on after a blow like that? I’m kidding. But only mostly. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went in. Even if it was just your answering machine. Is that lame? Probably. Anyway...god Ellie, wrap this up. I’ll let you know how it goes. *

You This is Earl and I love him with my whole heart You Sent an image You Look at those ears he’s like a bat I’m dying. Shawn Loved your photo You I’m considering him a good luck charm for my Sick Kids application. You How was the show? Shawn Good :)   It’s unlike him to be so monosyllabic, smiley notwithstanding. Especially about a show. You Where are you? A crosswalk light turns in your favour. You’ve been walking just behind a couple with a giant white Samoyed, admiring his beautiful fluffiness as he sat at his owner’s heel. “Appa, yip yip!” The dog gets up immediately to walk. Holy shit I’m gonna die.  

You’re literally typing Shawn oh my god I just–  when your phone rings in your hand. “Hi.” You catch your reflection in the glass of a restaurant. Do you always look this happy when you talk to him? “El.” Shawn hasn’t said your name like this in a long time – not since In My Blood’s release. It immediately deflates your The Last Airbender excitement and you stop in your tracks; Appa’s swinging tail disappears around the corner.   “Can you ask me again?” You turn down a local greenspace next to your building. The bustle of Queen Street fades and you press your phone closer to your ear. “Where are you, Shawn?” “Back in the hotel in Raleigh. You know that hammock thing by the window?” “In your story, sure. What time is it?” You know the answer, of course. Same time zone. “Eleven something.” Nerves pinch at the base of your spine. “And how do you feel in that hammock thing in Raleigh at eleven something at night?” Shawn sighs. “A little better now that I’m talking to you.” Your stomach jumps. “But? What is it?” The line is quiet for a moment, though you can still hear Shawn’s even breath. “I feel like I’m not doing enough.” “What do you mean?” “Remember what you said when you were filling in your application for Sick Kids? You have all this time and energy so you may as well use it to help other people?” “Yeah…I mean I spent a good portion of my day cuddling cats, but–” He huffs a gentle laugh in your ear and it feels like a victory. “Yes. I remember.” “I just feel like… like I could be doing more to help. What’s the point of having all these followers or this like, platform, if I can’t do good with it?” It seems important to choose your next words carefully. “You know your music really helps people, right? Like Morgan, from London? Like me?” Shawn sighs again. “Yeah. You know how much that means to me.” “I’m not saying you can’t or you shouldn’t look to do more – I dunno, fundraising or educating, or whatever. You’re right, you can and do reach so many people. But it’s not like Instagram is gonna solve every single major social issue in the world, or that you or any single person has all the answers or right opinions.” “I feel like an idiot sometimes,” he says, like a shameful admission. “I literally only have a high school diploma and I feel like, out of my depth all the time.” “It’s not fair that people expect you to speak about every trending topic of the day,” you insist. You can feel yourself on the edge of getting worked up, a surge of overprotectiveness you haven’t felt in a long time. “That’s not your job. What happens when you say something well-intentioned and it blows up in your face?” “That’s what I’m afraid of.” “Shawn…” It takes a second to straighten out all the thoughts now whirling around in your head. “I understand what you’re getting at. And I admire you for it, more than you know. I’m sure there’s a way to help people and use your platform in a productive way without all the...noise.” He’s quiet for a long time. “God, I miss you.” It’s ridiculous how he can still make you blush, even from hundreds of miles away. “I miss you too.” “Are you home yet?” “Just about to get in the elevator. Can I call you back?” “Yeah. Wanna watch something?” “You’re not tired?” “No. Just wanna be with you for a bit, if that’s okay.” There’s no one around but you bit back another stupid smile anyway. “Always okay.”

[jenonctcity]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

[12:07am]

Zhong Chenle – Fluff

“Hold my hand tight. I’ll protect you.”

“You choose now to tell me that?!”

 Late night trips with your best friend Chenle have always been one of your favourite things to do. You’d adventured many places together, going to the movies, supermarket trips to get junk food, scary walks through the forest, but you’d never done the scariest thing you could possibly think of ever doing. Go through an abandoned house at midnight. You couldn’t remember how Chenle had convinced you to go through with the idea, but here you stood by the dilapidated door of the three-story house located in the countryside. Chenle had convinced Johnny to drop you both of at the house and he agreed to pick you up an hour later, finding it funny that the two of you have the balls to go into an abandoned house.

“You go first…” You nudged him closer to the door, his body tensing and feet digging into the ground.

“No! we go together!” He turned to you and pulled you by the arm of your jacket, so you were level with him in front of the door. You both looked at each other before turning your attention back to the door. “Let’s do this.” He reached forward and hesitated just before pushing the door open and turning on the flashlight. A dark hallway with dust coating every surface visible is what greeted you both.

“This is a bad idea Chenle…” You whispered, leaning closer to him hoping to dull the anxiety flying around in your stomach.

“Hold my hand tight. I’ll protect you.” He whispered back, moving his hand down your arm to lace your fingers together. He squeezed your hand once before gently pulling you into the house. The floorboards creek underneath your feet, Chenle one step in front of you leading the way.

“ACHOOO!” The dust floating around in the air getting sucked up your nostrils and making you let a loud sneeze. The loud noise startling Chenle and making him let out a loud scream which echoes through bare walls of the house. You scream at his scream, making him drop the flashlight and take off running in his fright, dragging you along with him deeper into the house. You both run blind, not being able to see a thing and eventually Chenle ends up tripping over something and you end up falling on top of him.

“Owww.” He groans, rolling you off of him and sitting up against what he assumes is a wall.

“Why did you run?!” You punch him in the chest, originally aiming for his arm but due to not being able to see anything your aim was off. He flinches and frowns at you, using both his hands to feel around to figure out exactly where you are. “Hey!” You smack his wondering hands away, shuffling around until you’re sat next to him shoulder to shoulder as you both let out a sigh in unison. “Now what do we do? We’re lost inside a house that’s probably haunted! Oh my god Chenle I’m gonna die without living!” You gasp at the thought of not having ever experienced your first kiss before dying in a place you shouldn’t even be in.

“Hey (Y/N) chill out! We won’t die, I’ll get us out of here I promise! I told you I’d protect you and I can totally kick some ghosty ass.” He whispered to you, taking your hand in his own and lifting it up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss to it. “You’ll have plenty of time to live. Plus, I have my phon-” He cut himself off after patting his back pocket and feeling nothing but his own ass. “Shit…must have fallen out when we ran, we can use your phone?”

“Nope, I left it in Johnny’s car because I didn’t want to lose it…I’m scared…” You mumble, leaning your head against his shoulder and closing your eyes. “How do you get out of here? I can’t see the light from the flashlight, so it probably broke when you dropped it.”

“Yeah…hey er about you not living yet, I actually have something to tell you…” He trailed off, letting go of your hand and running his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath and turned to face you, not that you could see his face, but you felt his breath on your cheek. At that moment, the sound of footsteps was all that could be heard, making you both tense up and start to shake. The terror you both felt as you stayed silent, listening to the footsteps get louder then get quieter as they roamed through the house. “I’m in love with you.” He whispered to you, shuffling onto his knees to face you.

“You choose to tell me that now?!” You gasp in surprise, that being the last thing you would have expected to leave his mouth in your moment of terror.

“We might die, and I need you to know!” His whispers started to get louder in his haste to let out all his feelings, making you worry at the unknown body in the house figuring out your location to finish you both off. “I’ve felt this way for a while now and I think you’re so beautiful, and perfect, and if you don’t love me back then that’s fine and I won’t hold it against you if we don’t die he-” You cut off his rambling by putting your hands on either side of his face and pulling him in for a kiss. Surprisingly your aim was perfect, your lips locking with his like they’re a matching set. His body relaxed and his arms made their way to your hips as he let out sigh into the kiss. Both of you forgetting where you are and how much danger you could potentially be in as your lips moved in time with his. You had always imagined your first kiss being under the stars after a romantic date. But sitting on the dusty floor of an old dilapidated house with your best friend of whom you’d loved for the past 5 months, is the best moment of your life so far.

“I love you too.” You whispered against his lips after pulling away. “But right now I kind of hate you for making me come here.” Letting a soft giggle and running your hands through his thick hair.

A blinding light entered the room and pointed at you both, making you both squint and hug each other tight in what could be your final moments together.

“What are you both doing? I’ve been waiting outside for you for ages. Why did you leave you phone in the hall?” Johnny’s voice came from behind the light, making you both pull away from each other and scramble to your feet.

“JOHNNY!” Chenle ran at his older friend, throwing his arms around his body and holding him tight. “Get us out of here Hyung.” His voice was quiet as he let go of Johnny, rushing back to you and pulling your hand into his own. Johnny rolled his eyes and turned back through the door making his exit, leaving you and Chenle to follow close behind him.

“Thank you for giving me my first kiss.” You smile to yourself in the dark as you make your way through the house.

“Thank you for giving me mine too.” His smile reflected yours, both of you giggling like 12 year olds as Johnny ushered you both into the car.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot “Under the Boardwalk” (Rated G)

Summary:

After overhearing some bad news, Kurt leaves his parents in their hotel room and goes for a walk … but he gets lost. Eventually he stumbles upon a stranger who points him in the right direction is a number of ways. (2883 words)

Kid!fic inspired by the beginning of the movie Beaches. Takes place in the late 50s.

Read on AO3.

Kurt doesn’t know where he is.

He didn’t expect to get this far.

Of course, he wasn’t really thinking when he left. He just needed a break. So he thought, once up and down the boardwalk. That’s all. He’d aim for as far as Nathan’s Hot Dog stand, turn around and come back. It was a straight shot. No chance of getting lost. This was the same walk they’d taken yesterday. It was a no-brainer. But after a while, everything started to look the same – every store front, every lifeguard station, every food cart.

He’d walked straight! Perfectly straight!

Or so he thought.

He never made it to Nathan’s. And now, caught in the bustle of people mobbing the beach, playing carnival games, and eating food he normally wouldn’t touch but which smells heavenly to his starving stomach, he has no clue how to get anywhere. He becomes frantic, anxiety welling up within him, filling his chest until there’s no room for anything, even his racing heart. He considers yelling for his mom and dad, but seeing as they didn’t come with him that would be no use. They’ve probably discovered he’s gone by now and are worried sick – another unnecessary load heaped on to their pile of stress. And Kurt … well, Kurt might as well dig himself a cave in the sand because this is where he’s going to live from now on.

Lost and exhausted, his feet aching and the back of his neck burning, he walks over to the stairs leading down to the beach. And even though he’s not a big fan of sitting on anything thousands of human shoe soles have touched, he drops down onto the warped wood and begins to sob.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he mutters. “Whining like a baby! You’re eleven-years-old, Kurt! Grow up!” He sniffs, wiping at his wet cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Hey!”

Kurt’s head shoots up when he hears a voice call out. There are tons of people on the beach today, and lots of people calling hey, but for some reason, Kurt feels like this particular hey is directed at him.

“Hey! You up there!”

The voice is closer now, but the fact that it’s coming from underneath his butt pretty much cinches it. He looks down between his legs, through the space between the steps, and sees a face staring up at him.

“Jesus!” Kurt screams, leaping to his feet. He stumbles down the steps, landing on his butt in the sand.

“Oh, hey! Are you okay?”

Kurt peers into the grey-gold shadows underneath the boardwalk and sees the face with body attached running towards him.

“You lost or somethin’, kid?”

Kid? Kurt stares at the boy wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans – at the beach, of all places! - thinking he can’t be any older than he is. In fact, Kurt’s sure he’s older, if only by a day. Kurt stares at the boy in a daze, unsure what to do when he reaches a hand out to him. His parents warned him never to talk to strangers. But he’s frightened and he’s desperate.

And he could really use a friend.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” Kurt says, taking the boy’s hand, letting him help him to his feet.

“Where’re your folks?” he asks, eyes sweeping the beach and the boardwalk behind them as if he’s going to be able to pinpoint Kurt’s parents even though he’s never seen them before in his life.

“They’re back at our room.”

The boy beckons Kurt under the boardwalk, and whether it’s a smart decision or not, Kurt follows. With the skin on his neck and scalp screaming from the heat, he needs to get out of the sun.

“You shouldn’t be here alone. This place ain’t exactly the safest, even in the daytime.” The boy falls down onto a small blanket covering the sand and crosses his legs. He looks Kurt up and down, his lips curling. “You must be from outta town, cuz you’ve got fresh meat written all over you.”

Kurt glances down at his shirt as if checking to see if something he didn’t notice before is actually written there, and the boy smiles.

“My name’s Blaine. Blaine Anderson,” the boy says. His eyelids narrow as he asks, “You wouldn’t have heard of me before by any chance … would you?”

“I don’t think so. But you’ve probably never heard of me before, either.” Kurt kneels on the blanket and sticks out his hand. “I’m Kurt Hummel.”

“Yeah, you are!” Blaine laughs, slapping Kurt’s hand instead of shaking it, and Kurt rolls his eyes. Blaine is teasing, but he’s not being mean. “Maybe I can help you. I sort of live here.”

“Under the boardwalk?”

“No. In Jersey. Where are you staying?”

“I … I don’t know. It’s not a hotel. It’s more of a bungalow? A group of them, right off the beach. There’s a fountain in the middle with a mermaid playing the flute … and it’s by a restaurant …”

Blaine whistles. “You’re staying at the Shore Cottages. Not too shabby. Your folks have money?”

“No,” Kurt replies, taken back, wondering if giving Blaine this much information was a mistake. His father warned him that criminals often employ kids to pickpocket for them. Could Blaine be one of those? In his leather jacket and jeans, hair slicked back like James Dean, he definitely looks the part, but maybe that’s a big clue that he’s not one. He’s too obvious. “In fact, this is the first vacation we’ve ever taken out of state. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen the beach.” Kurt looks down at the blanket beneath his knees. It’s torn and frayed, off-white in places when it should be bright, and faded around the edges, burnt from the sun. Kurt has to wonder if Blaine brought this blanket with him or if he just found it here. “It’s the first time for a lot of things.”

“What’s the big occasion?”

Kurt chews around the words before he says them, trying to make his mouth form them into something different. Something better. But he can’t change reality. He can only live with it.

“My mother’s sick. She’s more than sick. She’s … she’s dying. I just found out today.”

Blaine looks aghast. “You mean to tell me your folks brought you out here for your first ever summer vacation by the shore just to tell you your mom’s sick?” Blaine shakes his head disapprovingly. “That’s cold.”

“No!” Kurt rushes to defend his parents with tears welling in his eyes. “No, that’s not … they didn’t tell me. I overheard my mom and dad talking, and she said a word …”

Blaine is on the brink of asking what word?, but the way Kurt bites his lips together and closes his eyes, as if shutting out the world might shut out the truth, Blaine already knows.

His grandfather died of cancer a few years ago. When they first found out, his mom often made that same face. But his grandfather was in his seventies. He’d lived a long, happy life, watched his children grow into adults, get married, start lives of their own.

Kurt’s mother can’t be older than Blaine’s, and she’s only in her forties.

“The thing is, I think I’ve known for a while,” Kurt admits.

“How?”

Kurt shrugs. “In little ways. My mom started getting colds a lot, and it always takes her forever to get over them. She’s tired all the time, she has these scary coughing fits, she …” He stops, feeling more hopeless now than when he left. “I don’t think they know how to tell me. I think my mom and dad wanted us to have this last summer together before they had to deal with it. You know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Blaine inches closer – close enough that the fingers of his left hand are only a hair or so away from Kurt’s right. “That’s rough. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” Kurt nods into the companionable silence, gaze fixed on the ocean – calm to his eyes, but he can hear the waves crashing beneath the slope of the beach in front of him. That’s how his parents have been, he realizes – calm and happy on the outside for his benefit when, on the inside, they’ve probably been screaming.

“How long you guys stayin’ out here for?” Blaine asks.

“Two weeks. And when we get home, we’re buying a house closer to the hospital where my mom’s getting her care. I heard them say they’re going to take me out of school, move me away from the only friends I have to some place two hours away! I’m going to some dumb old school called … Daiton Prep?” Kurt squints at the sunlight streaming through the slats in the wood walkway above them as he tries to remember what his father called it. “Dyson Prep? Di … Dover Prep?”

Blaine leans in questioningly. “Dalton Prep?”

Kurt snaps his fingers. “That’s it! Dalton Prep?” He turns to Blaine, tilting his head suspiciously. “How did you know?”

“I live here, but I’m not from here. I’m a Buckeye, too. From Westerville. My brother and I came out here ‘temporarily’ (*air-quotes applied*) after I won the Kings Island Variety Show.”

“I’ve seen that!” Kurt says in awe. “They air it on TV! That must have been so exciting! You must be really talented!”

“Well …” Blaine blushes, rolling his head away so Kurt won’t see “… you know, for a seasoned performer like myself, it’s just another day at the office.”

“So, what’s your talent?” Kurt asks, but hurrying to guess before Blaine can answer. “I know! You’re a tap dancer! No … a ventriloquist!”

Blaine’s bashful smile crashes like the waves on the shore below them.

“No, I’m a singer. I do a mini-Elvis routine down at the Nickelodeon that brings the house down, if I do say so myself.”

“A singer? Wow! I—I want to be a singer someday. Except, I want to perform in musicals.”

“Do you?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s my biggest dream ever!”

Blaine nibbles his lower lip, considering the boy in front of him, thinking so heavily it shows on his face. “You know, Dalton Prep is the starter school for Dalton Academy. And they have a singing group called The Warblers. They’re kind of like rock stars. Scouts go to their performances and everything! Guys who’ve sung with them have gone on to tour, cut records, even sing on Broadway!”

Kurt’s eyes go wide. “Broadway?”

“Uh-huh. It’s a really good school.”

“I guess … that’s not so bad.”

“No, it isn’t. There’re definitely way worse places in the world, you know.”

“I do.” Kurt nods soberly. “At my school, I get bullied a lot.”

“There, you see? That won’t happen at Dalton. They have a policy – no bullying allowed. And they’re very strict about it.”

“That does sound nice,” Kurt admits, but his gaze drops to his hands again. “But I still won’t know anyone there. And … I don’t make friends very easily. People seem to think I’m weird.”

Blaine puts his head on Kurt’s shoulder and blinks up at him ridiculously, making Kurt giggle. “You’ve got me. And I’m weird, too! We’re a matching set!”

“Blaine! Blaine!”

“Ugh!” Blaine moans, dropping his head off Kurt’s shoulder and into his sand-covered hand.

“Who … who’s that?”

“The warden – a.k.a my big brother, Cooper.”

“Blaine! Where the hell are ya, kid?” The boardwalk above them rattles with the weight of running feet, knocking loose sand that rains down on them. Those same feet barrel down the steps and stop not too far from them. A man wearing jeans and a white tank top spins in a full circle. He stops, brilliant blue eyes (odd to Kurt since Blaine’s are hazel) staring straight at them. It must take a moment for his vision to adjust since he doesn’t seem to see them right away. He throws his arms in the air when he does. “Blaine! Jesus Christ, kid, you scared the life outta me! You’ve really gotta stop runnin’ off like that!”

“It’s a good thing I did because this guy here’s hella lost.”

Cooper only seems to notice Kurt when Blaine mentions him. “Really?”

“Yup. And if I wasn’t here, who knows where he’d’uv ended up. He’s not from around here.”

Cooper’s head bounces back and forth, deciding what to do with that information. When it reaches his right shoulder for the third time, he shrugs. “Well, ok. Let’s get him back to his folks and then you and I need to go back to the theater and practice. You’ve got a spotlight comin’ up in three days and, not to be mean or anythin’, but your footwork sucks! Uh …” He shoots a guilty look at Kurt. “I mean, stinks. Sorry, kid.”

“It’s alright,” Kurt says, mildly amused by the banter between these two siblings – one because Kurt is an only child, and two because Cooper has to be close to twice Blaine’s age!

“About that …” Blaine looks down at the sand, that thoughtful look returning to his face. “I was thinking that maybe we could go back home. See mom and dad. And maybe … I could go back to Dalton?”

Cooper’s jaw drops. He stares at Blaine like he suggested finding the closest sharp object and cutting off his own foot.

“I … I don’t think I heard you right there, squirt,” he says, side-stepping closer with a hand cupped to his ear. “Could you give me that again?”

“I said I don’t want to play the Nickelodeon anymore! It’s tired and it’s getting old. I wanna go home.”

Kurt had heard him the first time, but hearing Blaine repeat it makes his jaw drop, too. Blaine didn’t necessarily make it sound like he was living the dream out here, but he gets to perform in front of audiences who pay to see him! Who in the world would give that up? And why?

But it sounds like he hasn’t seen his folks in a while. Missing them might make him throw in the towel.

It would for Kurt.

“So what you’re saying is you wanna leave all this behind, your whole career as a performer, to go back to boring Ohio, let mom and dad shove you in a stiff, itchy uniform, and stick you back in Dalton Prep?”

Blaine nods dramatically. “Yes, Cooper. That’s exactly what I’m sayin’.”

Cooper throws his hands in the air again, but he doesn’t seem exasperated this time. He looks relieved. “Finally! God Almighty! I’m getting’ so sick of Jersey! I can’t wait to leave this place in my rearview! In fact, I’m marchin’ right down to that roach infested shack they call a theater and …”

“Coop?”

“… tell that cauliflower-eared mutant of a manager …”

“Cooper?”

“… that the Anderson boys are done working for peanuts!”

“COOP!”

Kurt deflates into a mass of laughter when Blaine’s voice cracks, which Blaine catches, and he starts laughing, too.

“Yeah, squirt?”

“Let’s leave on good terms. I mean, you never know.”

“What do you mean?”

“Give them two weeks’ notice. Have them cut us out of the schedule slowly,” he says, throwing Kurt a subtle wink. “That way we can pad our pockets a little more and spend some time on the beach. We haven’t really done that since we moved out here. It’d be nice to have somethin’ like a real vacation.”

“Yeah …” Cooper points emphatically at his brother for his great idea. “That’s the ticket, little bro. When did you get so smart?”

“I must have learned it from you, Coop,” Blaine says in a deadpanned tone Kurt suspects comes from repeatedly answering this question that same way, like it’s the only acceptable response.

“You’re darn tootin’. Come on. Let’s get your friend back to his folks and then we can work on that footwork.”

“Sure thing.” Blaine gets up first, taking a step or two downwind before he brushes off his jeans. “You comin’, Kurt?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, doing the same. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

Kurt’s eyes burn something fierce when he steps out into the light, but he doesn’t feel so hopeless or heavy anymore. His mom’s still sick. He can’t get away from that, no matter how far down the beach he walks. But now he has a friend, someone he’s already shared that with, by his side. Someone he’ll know when he goes to school in the fall. Which makes Kurt curious:

“Did you … do that for me?”

“Eh, you know …” Blaine looks over at the ocean since he can’t keep the truth off his face if he tried “… I’m getting kind of tired of playing nickel and dime shows. We get practically no money. And the only way I can get any kind of a break is if I run off. It’ll be nice to go home and see my old friends again …” He bumps Kurt’s shoulder and smiles “… hang around with some new ones. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?”

“No.” Kurt follows Blaine as he speeds ahead of Cooper, leading the way. “Doesn’t sound so bad at all.”

[mattschues]

Discussion || Schanderson

Tagging: Matt Schuester and Blaine Anderson ( @doveportblaine​ ) When: January 6, 2020 Where: The parking lot and then Matt’s house Notes: This is a continuation from this text thread. 

A meeting was held at Matt and @jacienpuckerman‘s fire station where the Australian bushfires were discussed. The chief asked for volunteers and if any of them wishes to go they will leave Wednesday for an undetermined amount of time. As of now more than 100 firefighters have been sent from across the nation and more are desperately needed. 

In this para Matt and Blaine have a discussion about what’s to take place. 

For more information on ways to help, check out this link.

Matt

Ever since Matt became a firefighter he promised he'd be there to help people no matter the risks. Were there fucking scary situations? Uh yeah. Many. Most of those he didn't talk about with people outside of is work family because he knew it would worry others. Matt knew the trip his chief proposed would be one of the scariest things he's ever encountered but he still felt that pull to go. To do what he felt was the right thing to do. However, there was also a part of him that thought of Blaine. They were still so new to their relationship but he knew his boyfriend worried of the things he encountered in Doveport. The bushfires were massive and many people and animals have lost their lives due to it. Matt couldn't make this choice, not without talking it through with Blaine. He felt a terrible boyfriend for putting him in this situation. He never wanted to cause Blaine any worry and now he here was. Thinking about doing something insane. Matt drove his car to the front, as promised, and waited for B to meet him. He didn't know if they were to stick around here or drive to one of their houses. Or elsewhere.

Blaine

With his work apron neatly folded and tucked under one arm, Blaine squinted against the glare of the midwinter sun as he left work. He'd been operating mostly on auto-pilot for the last half hour of his shift -- taking orders and making drinks was mostly automatic anyway, and he'd been trying to ignore the hollow ache in the pit of his stomach ever since Matt's last few texts. He hadn't even fully gotten a handle on Matt running into burning buildings on purpose yet, but this? This was so much bigger than anything he could have ever imagined. Blaine spotted Matt's car right away, and crossed over to tap gently on the driver's side window. He managed to muster up a wan little smile as he wiggled his fingers in a silent wave.

Matt

Sometimes when Matt was able to come around and pick Blaine up, he’d have his 80s playlist on and singing to The B-52s or Mike and the Mechanics. Right now the silence weighed on him. When Blaine’s tap jostled him out of his thoughts Matt grinned. He unlocked the doors and motioned for B to come around.

Blaine

It was never going to feel normal, seeing Matt so subdued. Even with the grin there was an edge to the way he held himself, and that did nothing for the anxious little knot in Blaine’s gut. He skirted around the car quickly and slid in, leaning across the center console for a kiss as he pulled the door shut behind him. “Hey stranger – I think somebody promised me a hug,” he murmured.

Matt

Matt’s hand went to the side of Blaine’s neck and held on while they kissed. It helped ease him some but he kept with his lips against his a beat or two longer than usual. “Hey.” He said, kissing his lips again. “Didn’t your parents teach you not to get in stranger’s cars?” Matt teased. They have a heavy talk ahead of them and wanted to feel this small bit of happy before. “Let’s go to my place and I’ll hug you the whole time we’re there. How does that sound?”

Blaine

Blaine closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, grasping at that small little thread of normal. He gave a small huff of laughter at the joke, as mild as it was, and pulled back with a nod. “Sounds good. We can come back for my car later, but I’d rather be able to sit down and talk without interruptions.”

Matt

“If this was any other kind of talk I’d say I would struggle not distracting you. Even in public.” Matt’s hand went down Blaine’s arm and as soon as he reached his wrist he brought his boyfriend’s wrist to kiss. “I really am sorry about this.” There was some hesitation but Matt pushed through it. “If this feels like it got too real too fast I get it if you need space.”

Blaine

“I don’t need space, Matt. I need you to talk to me, so I can understand what’s going on and what your thought process is. But I’m not walking away from this, not now,” Blaine insisted, his fingers curling around Matt’s. “Just because it’s been easy so far doesn’t mean it’s less real — now we just have to figure out how to navigate the hard parts.”

Matt

He knew Blaine wouldn’t just up and leave, it wasn’t like him considering the talks they’ve had before. Something like this however was so damn heavy that not everyone can handle it. Especially with a semi new relationship. “We’ll figure that out. As best as we can.” Matt lowered Blaine’s hand and as soon as he was buckled in Matt took his hand once the drive started. Less than 10 minutes later they pulled up to Matt’s house and he let Blaine in. After a quick check Matt knew Evan was out so they were alone. But, before sitting at the kitchen table, Matt pulled Blaine into a hug and wrapped him tight within his strong arms. They may have been new but this man meant everything to him

Blaine

Being engulfed in Matt’s embrace made the anxiety in Blaine’s chest loosen just a little. He looped his arms up over Matt’s shoulders and buried his face against the sharp curve of his collarbone, holding on for dear life. He couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how this conversation ended, their relationship, new as it was, was about to change. Whether that was a good change or a bad change — Blaine was afraid to find out, but avoiding it entirely wasn’t an option.“Do you want me to make coffee?” he asked, his voice muffled against Matt’s shirt.

Matt

Matt hated himself in that moment for putting Blaine through this. It was easier before when he kept relationships at a distance. That being with him only caused pain. It caused people to leave and he knew if he chose a different career it’d be different. “You’ve been making coffee all day, baby. Take a break.” His lips, buried into Blaine’s hair, and did his best to try to save this memory in his head. That if he goes through with this that he’ll have one of this to think back to. Matt broke the hug and thought about talking at the table but changed his mind and went to the arm chair, where he encouraged Blaine to sit on his lap and keep his close throughout this talk.

Blaine

Blaine followed without resistance – Matt seemed to get a kick out of having him curled up in his lap even on a good day, and Blaine was reluctant to deny them both the comfort, even if it made it a little more difficult to watch Matt’s face. He settled himself sideways so he could tuck his head against Matt’s shoulder and just breathed him in for a long moment. “Okay. Let’s start at the beginning,” he said quietly, when he couldn’t avoid it any longer. “I’ve been watching the news – I have an idea of what’s going on, at least. How bad are we talking, and what exactly did the chief ask people to volunteer for?”

Matt

Matt was glad he went for the facts because that’s what it came down to. “Right now the priority is to stop the flames from spreading. Many people’s homes are ruined. Not many in the way of human casualties, which is good though there are millions of animals. There’s been some relief with rain, which is good but then you’ve got these fire storms that make it worse since the lightning from it sparks new fires. You’d think we’re in the middle of some insane disaster movie.” He said and took a moment to look at Blaine before continuing. The fire’s expected to worsen this weekend since temps are climbing fast. The need more manpower to provide relief to the men and women who’ve been fighting this things around the clock. Granted these bushfires have been an issue for months but it’s getting out of control. And the chief, well he wants to send us along with volunteers from Georgia, Tennessee and Kentucky to South Wales. It’s risky. All fires are but there haven’t been any reported death amongst the crews and they’ve got all the equipment needed to try to get the upper hand on this nightmare.” Matt didn’t know if this answered much but he continued. “There’s talk of volunteers staying anywhere from a week to a month. To give you an idea how long it can go for.”

Blaine

Whatever relief Blaine felt at the assurance that there hadn't been any reported deaths among the crews faded quickly at that last bit of information. "A month?" he echoed, lifting his head in shock. A month away would be... almost Valentine's Day. And how small and selfish did that make him, that his first thought was that Matt might not be around for their first Valentine's Day together? He took a deep breath, steadying himself, before refocusing on other things. "You said it's expected to get worse this weekend because of the rising temperatures. That means they need people before then, doesn't it?"

Matt

“I know. It’s a long time. But if the NIFC, which is the National Interagency Fire Center, keeps getting more stations involved it could be less time than that.” Matt didn’t want to miss Blaine’s birthday. He just started to plan it...If he decides to go he may need to find a way to make sure the plans keep going while gone. “Yeah. It does. We’ll have to fly out Wednesday.” Matt quieted after that and moved his head over to look at him. “I want to help. I feel that pull to go. They really need experienced fire fighters, especially those with wildfire experience. Which I have from when I volunteered in California.” Matt frown after he spoke and sighed. “I feel like shit for doing this. For even considering this. I get my family cares about me. After Betsy I didn’t date at all and then you came into my life one day and all I wanted was to see you laugh and smile whenever I’m around. And now, now we’re together and you’re learning about the hard part of my job. Or of me I guess because I can tell the chief no. It’s not like it’s mandatory.” A but lingered heavily after he spoke and Matt’s frown deepened. “Sometimes I hate this need to help.”

Blaine

"Don't hate that part of yourself," Blaine said quietly. He looped one arm up around Matt's neck, linking them together. "You can hate the decisions it forces you into, but don't hate something that's a part of you." He turned his face into Matt's shoulder with a shuddering sigh. "Wednesday. On the other side of the world." It didn't quite seem real, but he should have known things were going too smoothly. "If it weren't for me," Blaine murmured, "you'd already have your name on that list. Wouldn't you?"

Matt

He wanted to say no. He wanted to tell Blaine he would have talked it over with his family first but he knew the truth. He told them his plans but not as a means of a discussion. Matt nodded his head after a few passing moments and dropped his eyes from Blaine’s. “I love my family. But they’ve accepted this is how I am. It doesn’t mean they agree with it.” His eyes raised slowly to those hazel eyes that held such pain. “And I feel strongly when it comes to you and what we have. I couldn’t agree to it without talking to you. It wouldn’t be right.”

Blaine

Blaine leaned forward to touch his lips to Matt's gently. "If you ever agree to something like this without talking to me first, I will never forgive you," he whispered into the kiss. After a moment he pulled back, his eyes serious. "But I'm not here to change who you are or hold you back, either. If there's proper safety precautions, and the need is genuine and immediate -- if you need your name on that list, add it tomorrow."

Matt

This was different from when they talked about Bets and what happened with the little kids. Matt knew there will be other emergencies, it was his job to be there. Yes, this was something he had a say in but..but this was him. This will continue to be the man he is. Matt’s hand went to Blaine’s cheek and kissed him, just as gentle as Blaine was before. “I’ll check in as much as I can. And take extra precautions. I have to come home and annoy you after all. I can’t let you go too long without seeing my handsome face or feeling my lips against yours.” Matt’s forehead pressed to Blaine’s. “And please write me too while I’m gone. Even if it’s to tell me you’re worried or scared or you think I’m insane. I just want to know you’re thinking of me and not trying to find a way to end this.”

Blaine

"I'm always worried," Blaine assured him. "I'm definitely scared, you're almost certainly insane, and I will absolutely be thinking of you. But there's no way in hell I'm ending this." He tilted his head into Matt's as well, an uncertain look flitting across his face. "I'll try to message you. I don't want to distract you when you need to be focused on your job, and I can't be the reason you make a mistake, but I want to make sure you remember I'll still be here, too."

Matt

Was Matt scares about what he was about to volunteer for? Yes. Very. He was scared with all the dangerous calls he went into but his drive and heart kicked in, along with a surge of adrenaline, and he did his best. Blaine was so good to him, Matt lucky to have such an understanding man who he grew to love more and more with each passing day. How, especially now, he wanted to tell him. “I’m sure I’ll find a free moment where I’ll send you a video of me butchering another song.” Matt’s arms went around Blaine’s body and hugged him as his lips found his. “When I come home I may go to the coffee shop and throw you over my shoulder and tell everyone they’ll hear from you after a couple days.”

Blaine

"If you send me any song with the word 'fire' in the title, you'll live to regret it," Blaine countered. He snaked both arms around Matt's neck, fingers tangling in the back of his hair. "Big talk there, Schuester. Implying that you could actually throw me over your shoulder or keep me busy for two solid days."

Matt

Matt cocked his head to the side and grinned. “Don’t think I’m strong enough or you plan to fight me on it? Because I’ll have the element of surprise on my side.” He slid a hand underneath Blaine’s knees and wrapped his arm around his back before he scooted to the edge of the chair and stood with Blaine in his arms, shifting to get him in a proper hold. Never has he carried Blaine this way and such a proud looked crossed his face. “You’ve seen how I am after two days without you. My needy ass will need a minimum of two days with you when I get back. I’ll have no trouble keeping you busy.” He said as he headed to his room. “Besides, I doubt you’ll fight me too much if I lock us away from the outside world since I’m your favorite person and all.”

Blaine

Suddenly finding himself hoisted into the air startled a sharp cry out of Blaine, and his arms locked around Matt's neck purely out of reflex. He honestly hadn't thought that he was small enough or Matt strong enough to lift him -- there was only a couple of inches difference in their heights, after all -- but he probably shouldn't be surprised that Matt felt the need to prove it. He recovered quickly enough to crane his neck and plant a kiss on the side of Matt's neck. "I think I might need a preview. Just so I know what I'm in for. Since I'm your favorite person and all."

Matt

Blaine's surprise sound only caused Matt's smirk to grow. The countless hours at the station's gym kept him in awesome shape, as he'd had to carry people heavier than him on occasion and didn't want to be stuck in a situation where he struggled with someone in need of rescue. Matt looked to Blaine as he walked and said, "No duh, Anderson. Been telling you all this time you are. Glad you've finally listened to me." Matt joked, walking him to his bedroom. Matt didn't know what will happen during his time in South Wales but he'd do everything in his power. For his family and for this man he held to his body. Their story was just getting started and he intended to create more and more chapters with him; however long Blaine will have let him.

[lovemesomesurveys]

If you had a parrot, what would be the first word you would teach it? Ha, my mom would probably be the one to teach it its first word cause she would think it was funny to hear it repeat a cuss word or something. lol.

What food have you eaten the most lately? Wing Stop boneless garlic parm wings, pizza from my favorite local pizza place, and ramen.

Where you ever a Pokemon fan? I was for a short time as a kid. I liked collecting the cards, especially. My dad worked in the mall at that time and he often would stop by the toy store to grab me a pack. 

How would you describe the taste of water? It’s so weird cause it’s typically described as not having a taste, but it does. I just don’t know how to describe it. If you know, you know.

Do you think books are going out of fashion? No, but I do feel like people aren’t reading them as often now. “Them” as in an actual, physical book. 

One thing you miss about being a kid : A lot of things. I had obstacles and struggles then health wise, but I kid you not when I say those things aren’t what stands out when I look back on my childhood. I miss just being able to just watch cartoons and play Barbies all day, or play house and school with my cousins. I miss just having fun and looking forward to each day. I hadn’t been knocked down and drained by life, yet. 

What is the best product made from milk? Cheese.

How would you feel if your husband didn’t want to wear a wedding ring? I don’t plan on getting married. I can’t even imagine ever being in the situation where it was a possibility, honestly. IF I ever did; though, I could see myself wanting to wear my ring and I’d want my husband to wear his, too.

Do you say Autumn or Fall? I say both. Autumn sounds a lot nicer.

What is your biggest “what if”? Ugh, there’s way too many of those. I can do it all day and they drive me insane.

What is the worst movie you have ever seen? This reminds me of the ratings the new Grudge has received. The scores are lowwwww. Like, it’s apparently really, really bad. I actually wanted to see it, but now I’m like ehhh I’ll wait until I can rent it.

Have you ever spelled your own name wrong? Probably when I was really little.

What do you want your wedding song to be? I told you already, I don’t plan on getting married. It’s not something I envision for myself. It’s not something I even think about.

What is your favorite fairytale? Hmm.

True/False : If it’s meant to be, it will be. I think so.

What electronic of yours dies the quickest? The Nintendo Switch has the worst battery life.

Do you think we learn some useless things in school? Yeah.

Do you feel like your life would be better without a certain person in it? No. The problem is me.

Who has influenced your music taste the most? I got some from both my parents, as well as my maternal grandparents. 

What did you get your mom for Mother’s Day? We’re only in January.

You go to the restroom and you see a huge spider, what do you do? Freak out and get the hell out outta there. haha. I’d get my brother or whoever was home to go kill it.

what’s something you want but will probably never get? My depressing ass can come up with a lot of things. 

Do you like reading scary books? Yes.

Is there a game your addicted to you? Currently, Luigi’s Mansion 3.

Do you get embarrassed when your stomach growls in class? I was always so nervous about that happening, honestly. Taking tests or silent reading time was the worst time for me cause I’d be thinking about that. As if my anxiety over taking the exam wasn’t enough. 

Do crying people make you uncomfortable? Well for one, seeing other people sad and crying makes me sad and want to cry. But also, I feel very awkward around someone who’s crying. I don’t know what to do or say. I just sit there awkwardly, lol.  Would you ever marry someone your parents didn’t approve of? Enough with the marriage questions. Anyway, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone my parents didn’t like. That would be very difficult for me. I want whoever I date to have a good relationship with my family and vice versa. That’s important to me. I’m very close with my family and spend a lot of time with them, sooo. My parents aren’t going to just not like someone for no reason, though. They’re really chill and my friends have always liked them. So, if they didn’t approve for some reason, they’d have a legit reason.

Whats one thing you’re completely terrible at? Life?

what is the nearest thing to you that is red? There’s red on my red and black plaid pillow.

what kind of camera do you own? I use my phone, which is an iPhone XR.

Do you look older or younger than your actual age? I’ve been told I look younger.

Do you think tattoos are hot? No, but I don’t mind some tattoos.

What’s the worst thing about being a teenager? >> The emotional instability and the hormonal upheavals. Also, the social hell. <<< 

What’s the best thing about being a teenager? Hmm.

When did you last play Monopoly? Wow, it’s been years.

Who do you trust with your secrets? Ya’ll. ha.

As a child what celebrity did you look up to? I was a fan of a lot of celebrities, but I didn’t really have one I looked up to.

Do you love food more than you love people? More than people in general, ha. Not more than my loved ones.

True or False: you this read wrong Yep, you got me.

What do you usually do on a Sunday? Same things I do everyday.

Have you ever met anyone with the same Birthday as you? Yeah.

Do you think underwater pictures look cool? Underwater photos freak me out.

What is the most ridiculous law you ever heard about? I’ve come across articles in the past that listed several of those. There’s some weirdddd laws out there.

Zelda or Mario? Oh, Mario hands down. I never got into Zelda, but me and Mario go waaaaaay back.

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

Sunrises and Sunsets

Anon asked: Gonna bring back autistic!joger and ask for a proposal :))))

Your wish is my command, love.

There were thousands upon thousands of crystalline lights shimmering and dancing on top the purple water. The waves rolled in, slowly but steadily, the white foam whispering hisses as it reached the shore, only to slide back into the depths. The sand, like tiny shards of glass, glinted at the setting sun, the sky and puffy clouds brilliant shades of orange and pink. Colors that shouldn’t go together, but somehow did when painted on by mother earth.

John breathed in the salty air, eyes fluttering shut as a gust of wind blew through his curly hair. His toes and fingers sunk into the scratchy sand, taking in the feeling of the majesty that was the beach at dusk. There wasn’t a soul around him, besides the gulls cawing in the horizon and Roger, who sat right next to him.

Roger was reclined on a folding chair, shades drawn down, eyes focused on the glistening sea before them, listening to the purr of the ocean and crackle of the shifting sand. It was magnificent, he had to admit. There was something about witnessing a sunrise or sunset that reminded you that the world could be beautiful. Even when things were hard or confusing or wrong, living and being alive and continuing on was so worth it. Even if it was all just to watch another sunset.

That sentiment never rang so true until now. Roger’s life had been filled with strife. Teased mercilessly by other children for acting different and threatened cold-bloodedly by other adults for loving different. His life was one of more personal failures than victories. It could’ve been so easy to give up, throw in the towel. He could’ve changed how he acted, mimicking others for the sake of the world rather than himself. He could’ve dated a nice girl, not for his own satisfaction but for the leering eyes around him. He could’ve done so many things differently at the cost of who he was.

But he didn’t. Sticking true to his character, he kept on going, kept fighting. All for the hope of seeing another sunrise.

And look where that got him?

Under their beach umbrella, John laid back, his hair puffing out around his head like a halo, grey eyes landing on the man next to him. A gap-toothed smile grew on his face as he rested his hands on his stomach, a faint blush spreading onto his face. It’s been 10 years since they got together and John still couldn’t look at Roger without going absolutely pink.

“I had a lot of fun today,” John said, his gaze falling down to stop the fluttering in his tummy.

“Did you?” Roger asked, smiling too, failing to resist the urge to lightly pinch John’s cheek, which made him squeak and squirm.

Today really had been tremendous. It was date day. Every first Wednesday of the month was. They started off with breakfast in a little diner. John with a mile-high stack of pancakes and Roger’s usual tea and bacon, eggs and toast.

Next was a mid-morning walk around the park. It was the park Roger had asked John to be his boyfriend in. The coincidence was not lost on John, who happily pointed to the bench where it all happened, clapping as he recalled the memory. God, Roger had been so sweaty. He was a nervous sweater, unfortunately. Not that it mattered to John. After he had agreed, the spent the better part of an hour jumping around like idiots, both getting drenched in sweat.

They sat there and talked for a while, about nothing in particular, about the weather, about the dishwasher in their house that was broken, about the songbirds fluttering about. At noon, they departed.

It was a week day, so the bowling alley was empty. Just how John preferred it. No cacophony of dozens of people chattering, 5 balls crashing at once, cheers and groans. It was just the two of them. And to be honest, they both were horrible at the game, so not having witnesses to their mediocrity was another benefit. They did try their damnedest though. They would howl with laughter when the other got a ball in the gutter and flap away when they knocked even a single pin down. The one worker manning the fort couldn’t help but to chuckle at the two hyper men as they fist bumped after getting a combined score of 60.

After a rigorous hour bowling their hearts out and with stomachs filled with stale pretzels, it was time to go to the movies. They picked a scary movie because getting scared was fun even if it wasn’t romantic. John loved to pretend he was so scared that he needed Roger to hold him. Roger loved that too, squishing John up to him in his arms while John just giggled as if they were the only two people in the theater. But this time around, Roger seemed nervous. He kept fidgeting in his seat, fingers drumming away quietly on the arm rests. John thought maybe the movie was too scary for Roger, so this time he held the drummer and made a mental note to watch a comedy come next date night. Roger just smiled, still fidgety as ever even in his boyfriend’s grip.

They both exited the thriller, eyes wide and mouths agape. The movie had been much more frightening than anticipated, the both of them clinging to each other only half way through. But they made it out alive, dignities not intact. Roger let out the shrillest (and cutest) scream at one point.

This was usually the end of their date, so they both hopped into Roger’s car and got onto the road. John started to talk about the movie and speculate on theories when he stopped abruptly, tugging on Roger’s shoulder.

“You missed a turn!” He said, watching as the exit to their part of the city flew past them.

“I know,” Roger said with a cheeky smile, eyes still on the road.

“Aren’t you gonna turn around? There’s no way to get back home from here if you keep going,” John said, head cocked forward to get into Roger’s peripheral vision.

“Nope,” Roger replied, chuckling.

John sat back in his seat, eyes squinted, very confused. He side eyed Roger, not sure what the blond had in mind. It was date night after all. He could’ve added something secretly to the agenda.

Which was a mistake on Roger’s part because John hated secrets. Christmas was hell.

While he rocked back and forth in his seat, John asked, “Where are we going?”

“’S a secret,”

“Where are we going?”

“I dunno,”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere!”

“Where?”

“A place,”

“Wheeerrreeeeeeeeee?”

“The beach!”

Roger was bad at keeping secrets especially while being grilled so geniusly by John, who now sat quietly stimming with his fingers, a big grin on his face. Cute bastard.

It took them awhile to get there, Roger parking the car as the sun started its slow descent in the sky. John kicked off his shoes as Roger pulled out the two beach chairs and umbrella he had in the boot of his car.

The couple lugged what little cargo they had onto the most perfect spot on the near deserted beach, right by some hills that provided them with some additional shade. After a brief set up, they sat and watched as the world grew darker and quieter and all the more beautiful.

Another salt laden breeze tickled through their hair, the thunder of crashing waves echoing through the beach. They didn’t even notice, grey and blue eyes holding on another’s stare, mixing somehow to make a rainbow.

Stuttering hearts. Shaking limbs. Abated breathe. Just like it was 10 years ago. Just like it was every single day. Now was the time, Roger thought. The perfect moment.

He got up from his chair, head woozy with anticipation. He kneeled down, both knees digging into the sand and began to speak, voice trembling.

“John Richard Deacon, I love you. You know that. You have given me so much love, clarity and support this past decade that I’ve had the privilege of loving you. You’re my best friend, my confidant, my lover and you just get me. And I need you to know it doesn’t go unnoticed,”

“All I ever want is for you to be happy. To be safe. To feel loved. I never thought I’d be a man to, um, settle down and all, but you did that. You.”

“John, I want to listen to you talk about Snow White and wires and basses for the rest of my life. Will you be my husband?”

Roger reached into his pocket, pulling out the box that was weighing on his mind all day and opened it.

John came face to face with the ring, mouthing dropping, eyes going wide. He couldn’t even say anything; his brain had stopped working from the shock. So, he did the next best thing.

He tackled Roger to the ground, attacking his face with kisses, overwhelmed tears dripping down his cheeks.

John was never good with words, so Roger considered this the yes he’d been dreaming of for the past few months.

He laughed, wrapping his arms around John, eyes shut as he let himself be drowned in kisses. His heart was still beating loudly in his chest, not from anxiety anymore, but relief.

“I’m taking that as a yes,” he said, voice muffled by John’s rapid-fire kisses and blubbering.

“Yes! Yes!” John repeated back, voice finally able to make intelligible words again.

“Well, put the ring on, you animal,” Roger said, still clutching the opened box in his hand. John’s ear grew hot, rolling off of Roger and holding his left hand out. That’s how they did it in movies, right?

Roger shook off some sand before he sat up, pulling the ring out and slipping it delicately onto John’s finger. It fit like a charm.

“Like Cinderella,” John whispered. Roger nodded with a grin.

John looked down at the ring, taken aback by its simple beauty. A plain gold band flickered with the suns dying rays, three circle cut diamonds sitting in a row, the middle one the largest.

“It’s gorgeous,” he mouthed

“It is,” Roger replied, grabbing John’s hand in his own and kissing the knuckles softly.

They sat in an awed silence, glancing at rings and the loves of their lives before John blurted out, “I’ll have to get you a ring too. A big one,” While John enjoyed modesty, Roger was far from it. He’d need a ring that’d put their friend Elton John to shame. Something obnoxious, shiny and did he mention shiny?

Roger waggled his eyebrows, only imagining what John would concoct in the jewelers. A lot of square cuts. And silver, oh silver looked pretty on him. And a-

“Look, the sun’s already set,” John pointed to the sky using his left hand, the sky now a light navy, a few stars already shining through the cloak of night.

Roger hmmed in surprise, never even having noticed the sun dipping so dangerously below the horizon. He’d made it past another sunset.

John without so much as a word got up onto his feet and starting flapping, hopping about. He’d never been so shocked that he forgot to stim before. It was time to get all those rumbly sparklers out from him.

“We’re married!” he shouted, the empty beach shouting it back to him. He flapped so hard, hair bouncing, head shaking from side to side.

Roger shared the sentiment, getting up to jump on the sand, which was harder than it looked, flapping and squealing back, “We’re getting married!”

“Married! Married!” the two said, bouncing around the beach, the sky littered in stars, the waves frothing and rolling and the wind cool. They continued their celebration, holding hands and yelling excitedly until their knees hurt and they were covered in sweat.

10 years of sunrises and sunsets and nothing had changed.

[yminie]

perfidy | jung hoseok

pairing: Hoseok x Reader genre/warnings: angst, horror, thriller, mentions of demonic rituals, minor + major character death, violence, gore, various weaponry. words: 7920 summary: Why do so many people in scary movies die? They trust the wrong people.

Perfidy [pur-fi-dee] | noun, plural per•fi•dies – deliberate breach of faith or trust; faithlessness; treachery.

– part of the ghouls just wanna have fun collab 

You shift slightly in place out of the blistering heat of the summer sun glaring down upon you even as you laugh and snicker, watching the two boys before you tumble across the lawn and no doubt make a mess of their clothes. There's no doubt you were lucky with the bond your boyfriend had formed with your younger brother, something you were so frightened of going wrong when you'd introduced Hoseok to your family.

But they'd taken him in as if he were one of their own, and it didn't take long for Jisung to warm up to him, and now anytime Hoseok stepped through the door, Jisung stuck to him and refused to let go. Suffering from severe anxiety and night terrors meant Jisung had always struggled with making friends and feeling comfortable around people he didn't know well, so watching the two get along so well even as far as snuggling up together on the couch to watch movies truly warmed your heart.

And times like now when you watched Hoseok pretend to be dramatically overpowered by Jisung's small, nine year old body, sending the young boy into fits of laughter, had your chest swarming with a warmth you could only identify as love.

You were sad that the scene had to be interrupted.

The soft hiss of tyres on gravel caught your attention, and you turned your head to watch as the familiar sight of Hoseok's car rolled down your street before swinging into place in your driveway, and you watched with a warm smile as Dawon waved cheerfully from within at Jisung, already hearing him whine with the knowledge that Hoseok was about to leave.

"Hyung, I don't want you to go!" His little feet stomped into the grass, bludgering the soil until small clumps of wet earth began to form, and you stood from your seat on the porch with a chuckle to match Hoseok's. You watched as your boyfriend soothed Jisung's whines of disappointment as you approached the still humming car in the driveway, waving at Dawon when you catch her eye and continuing over as she beckons you closer.

"Hey sweet, we're still on for a girl's night tomorrow right?" You grinned at her palpable excitement, feeling similar emotions within yourself as you think about the weekend ahead. Hoseok's sister was the big sibling your parents never had, opening her arms and heart to you without a second thought upon meeting. Having recently come to stay at her childhood home in Gwangju, you were soaking up every chance you got to spend time with her before she returned to Seoul.

"Of course! Hobi’s been insisting I have a night off after studying so hard for my finals!" You laugh as she nods enthusiastically, but quickly become distracted from the hand that cups your waist, lips warm against the back of your shoulder.

"I had a good day, baby, thank you for inviting me over." Hoseok hums against your skin and you turn to him with a smile, nodding once before leaning in to hug him tight, and you stand like that for a moment as you listen to Jisung recount his school day to Dawon behind you. "And I meant it when I said you don't have to worry tomorrow. I've got everything covered, and all you need to do is relax and get some well deserved rest, okay?"

It was no secret you didn't feel confident leaving Jisung behind when your parents weren't around, having made the trip to Busan for a miniature holiday and leaving you in charge over the weekend back home. But you also knew you trusted Hoseok and so did they, which meant your stress was somewhat soothed with the knowledge that your boyfriend would do a good job at taking care of your brother.

"You'd better get going otherwise you won't have time to shower before work." Hoseok nods into your neck as you pat the slim curve of his lower back gently, and when he finally pulls back it's purely to give him room to tug you towards him until your lips are pressed to his.

You grin against his mouth as Jisung loudly pretends to vomit behind you at the display of affection so close to him, and seconds later Hoseok releases you to chase the boy up the yard and corner him on the porch stairs, making disgustingly loud kissing noises just to tease the youngster.

"I'll see you tomorrow, _____!" Dawon waves at you as Hoseok relents and finally makes his way to the car, pausing just to press a warm kiss to your forehead, and you meet Jisung at the top of the stairs to join him as he forlornly waves the Jung siblings off, a pout clear on his lips before you tickle him and playfully complain that he's never quite so sad when it's you that's leaving.

__________

Jisung gasps in excitement when he sees the device in your hand, little feet swaying back and forth where they’re too short to reach the ground off the edge of the couch, but you shut him down as gently as you can.

“Now remember what I said, this isn’t a toy, okay? I’m giving you this because I want you to remember you can call me anytime, okay?” He nods solemnly, and you relent to place the phone between his little hands. “My number is in there and I have my phone so if you need anything, or even just want to talk before you go to sleep, you can call me anytime.”

“My own phone just like a grown up!” Jisung stands upon the cushion to cheer before you can stop him, and you merely shake your head with a fond smile on your face. “–so cool!”

His excitement is interrupted by the sight of Hoseok’s car pulling into the driveway outside, and you pat him on the leg gently as you stand and grab your bags. “I don’t want to find you having gone online or up to no good, so don’t go telling anyone I’ve let you borrow that okay? Go put it upstairs in your bedside table and only use it if you need me.”

“O–kay.” Jisung slumps and whines to himself as he trudges up to the second floor and disappears around the corner, heading to his room sullenly, but you hear his footsteps speed up out of sight at the sound of a knock on the front door. “Hyung-ie is here!”

“Hey baby.” Hoseok’s grin is stunningly bright when you open the front door to greet him, and with a gentle kiss to your cheek, he grabs your bags and turns on his heel to return to the car in order to put your stuff into the backseat. “Noona is pretty impatient from excitement.” He chuckles as the two of you watch Dawon dance in the driver's seat, her eyes locked on you as she turns the stereo up until the car is vibrating with the force of the bass. “Got everything you need?”

“Hobi-hyung!” Jisung’s sneaker clad feet thump against the wood of the porch as he runs to reach the top of the stairs, and you barely have the chance to shout a warning to be careful before he’s bolting just as fast down the steps and jumping into Hoseok’s arms.

“Hey dude!” Hoseok lets him cling to his arms with a warm smile, ruffling the youngsters hair and laughing when it makes him pout. “You ready for a fun night? Movies and snacks and–” He fakes a conspirial glance in your direction before leaning down to loudly whisper, “–and chocolate!”

“Yess!” You laugh as Jisung whispers back just as aggressively, turning to you with a cheeky glint in his eyes that you merely quirk a brow at before beckoning him closer to envelope him in a hug.

“Remember what I said okay? And make sure you behave for Hobi-hyung while I’m gone!” He nods against your stomach and you rub his shoulders gently, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Love you buddy.”

“Wov ‘ew ‘oo.” You laugh as his words are muffled, grumbled into the fabric of your shirt, before relenting your hold on him and turning to Hoseok one last time.

“Okay, so his pajamas and stuff are all in the bathroom ready for him to bathe after dinner, and I left some money on the kitchen counter with his favourite takeaway menus so you guys should be able to just order whenever. Oh, he did have a nightmare the other night about the ocean so maybe try not to let him pick movies that have too much to do with that – no clowns either he’s been–”

“Sweetheart, you gotta go.” Hoseok’s eyes are swimming with endearment, and you pause in your rambling to take a deep breath, only now noticing the hold he’s taken on your upper arms, pulling you into his chest. “No need to stress, I’ve got everything under control, okay?”

“Okay.” Taking another deep breath, you wave goodbye to Jisung and turn to open the car door, pausing one last time and glancing back. “No clowns.”

“No clowns, baby.” Hoseok is trying to hide his chuckles, but a few escape, and you playfully glare at him before nodding once and slipping down into your seat, waving again as you wind the window down.

“Love you two!” Both your boys call out in tandem, and you watch Jisung wave somewhat sadly as Dawon reverses the car from your driveway, speaking a mile a minute regardless of the fact you haven’t acknowledged anything she’s said prior.

“This stereo is so good, I’m gonna miss it when I pick my car up from the mechanics tomorrow!”

__________

“I so needed this!” Dawon sighs as she relaxes back into the couch, freshly filled glass of wine in her hand as she shuffles between the snack packets littering the couch, and you hum in agreement, watching end colourful end credits of the movie you’d just finished watching. “I got so many packages for work while I’ve been here and i just managed to get through them all this morning – oh, which reminds me! There was a really cute top I thought would look good on you let me go get it!”

You watch Dawon tiptoe around the mess on the floor with a grin, and she carefully places her glass down before stumbling upstairs with a giggle. But just as you’ve watched her disappear up the top of the stairs, you hear the unmistakable vibrating of your phone in your bag at your feet, and you jump forwards to snatch it from the pocket within.

“Hey buddy, you okay?” You keep your voice calm and low, on the chance he’d awoken from a nightmare, but to your relief there was no trace of a sniffle, only the mumbling heaviness of sleep.

“Y-yeah,” he yawns, “I almost fell asleep but I remembered you gave me this phone so I wanted to call and say goodnight.”

“No worries then, did you have a good night with hyung?” You hear him rustle around a bit, getting comfortable under the covers before he speaks again.

“Yeah we watched Big Hero Six a-and the new Incredibles one!” You smile to yourself as you play with the loose string hanging from the hem of your shirt, knowing those were his favourite movies.

“I’m glad you had fun buddy, but you better get some rest now okay? I’ll be home in the morning and we can go get pancakes for breakfast, sound good?” He barely hums in reply to what would normally have him cheering, and you chuckle to yourself before telling him goodnight and listening as a quiet snore echoes through the line. You hang up after listening to him breathe deeply for a few seconds, nerves soothed with the knowledge that everything was okay, and by the time you’ve zipped your phone back into your bag and started to eat another handful of chips, Dawon is stumbling back down the stairs.

“Here it is!” She swings the fabric above her head before holding it out for your inspection, and the moment your fingers meet the cloth she ushers you into the bathroom to try it on, adamant the colour will suit your skin tone amazingly.

Semi reluctantly, you slip the shirt over your head and fiddle with the hem a bit, turning side to side to see how it fits from all angles. The colour does look nice, although the front is a little too low cut for your liking, but the ties at the front mean you can tighten the dip a little and cover yourself. Thus, you deem the shirt ‘pretty okay’, and slowly change back into your t-shirt from before.

Only when you finally return to the living room, things take a turn for the weird.

“Oh, really? I'll let her know–oh, here she comes now. Lemme put you on speaker.” Dawon is still in her place in the couch, only now with her phone in hand, and you comply with her beckoning to sit on the couch beside her. As you watch, she pulls the phone from her ear and taps the screen, allowing the slight crackling of the open line fill the room, and you feel your brows rise at the sight of Hoseok’s name on the screen.

“What's going on?”

“You left your phone here, babe. On the countertop in the kitchen with those takeout menus.” You can't help but stare blankly at the now darkened screen, blinking once or twice before taking a breath to reply, only to pause. Confusion swirls in your mind, as well as worry, because you'd only just used your phone to talk to Jisung. And then it hits you.

Neither Hoseok nor Dawon knew that.

“I–” You find yourself at a loss for words, turning to look at your bag once before glancing back at Dawon. Her expression is blank yet curious, any trace of guilt that you're waiting to find impenetrably hidden, and for a second you convince yourself they must be joking. “–I put it in my bag though.”

“Maybe double check where you think you put it! Hobi, you're sure it's _____’s phone?” Dawon leans close as you reach over to grab your bag, looking concentratedly down into the contents with you as you paw your way through to no avail.

In the few moments you'd been gone in the bathroom, your phone has disappeared, and that knowledge has you staring down at your lap hard, heart starting to beat fast.

“I'm positive, same lockscreen and everything. I only noticed when I tried to call you so Jisung could say goodnight.”

Dread. Hot and thick, it runs through your veins like lava, filling your every nerve with tension until you're burning. And you fight the way your eyes want to widen, instinct screaming at you while anxiety pools in your stomach, noxious and suffocating.

Something is wrong. Jisung. Something is not right. Leave. Go home. Now.

“Um, I–okay, well–” You can't help but stutter, hands starting to shake in your lap, and that sense of worry has you unable to lift your gaze to Dawon, thoughts running a mile a minute.

“Don't stress, baby. If I need you or you need me we can just use Dawon’s phone okay?” His voice is as smooth and soothing as ever, but you hear it now. Something twisted, not quite right that lies just under the surface, like toffee coating over a pile of rotten flesh.

“O-okay.” Your lungs are starting to burn with the effort of holding back the way your body wants to pant, the worry taking hold and sending you through a whirlwind of emotion. You know your panic is barely concealed, but both Jung siblings seem to buy it, and the call is quickly over, Dawon clapping her hands cheerfully and claiming the rights to choose the next movie.

“More wine!” You jump slightly as she materialises from the kitchen, another dark bottle of the expensive liquid in her hands that she quickly uses to top up both your glasses. But the snacks and alcohol you've already consumed has started to roll in your stomach, turning toxic, and you quickly feel nauseous enough that you stand quickly, muttering a quick excuse and darting back into the bathroom.

Your stomach heaves slightly, muscles aching as they tense unnaturally, but nothing comes up, leaving you leant over the toilet bowl, skin clammy and warm. A war is waged in your brain, fighting for clear thought, yet every cell within you is screaming for you to leave, to go home.

But if your suspicions are right, and Dawon is a part of whatever game Hoseok is toying with you, then she probably isn't going to take any old excuse for an answer.

You need something easy, something she can't suspect that will draw her away for long enough that you can leave uninterrupted.

It doesn't take long for you to figure it out.

Fixing your appearance as best you can, you return to the living room once more, joining her as she wordlessly hits play on the tv, and as the opening scenes start to play out, you strike.

“Hey, did you have any candies? The chocolate’s starting to make me feel a bit sickly.” She nods quickly, happy to help, but you stop her as she goes to get up. “No, I can get it, just tell me where they are. You picked the movie after all.”

“Oh...yeah, cool. There's that cupboard above the fridge, and they should be in there.” You nod and gently lift yourself off the lounge, snagging the nearly overflowing glass of wine on your way and quickly walking into the kitchen and round the corner out of sight. You take a few moments to compose yourself, willing your heart to calm it’s racing in your chest, and once the tremors in your knees subside you reach into the cupboard and randomly pick a bag of candy.

Quickly, you go over the plan in your head, mapping out as best you can each element you’ll need for a successful escape, and once you’re confident, you smoothly stride out into the living room and right up to the couch.

A sharp pain envelopes your toes as you forcefully whack them into the corner of the lounge, and like a shower of blood the wine filling your glass sprays forth from over the rim and down, hitting the lounge first, but Dawon the hardest.

“Oh, my god!” Her squeal is high pitched and biting, piercing our eardrums hard enough to have you wincing, but you keep yourself focused. In her lap lays a small pool of the burgundy liquid, dripping off the end of her chin and soaking through her clothes quickly, and for a good few seconds she doesn’t seem to be sure what to care about most; her silk shirt or Hoseok’s quickly staining lounge.

“Shit, I’m so sorry! I kicked my toes so hard!” You lift up your foot quickly and exaggerate an expression of pain, and her gaze is almost murderous when it lands on you before she quickly transforms it into a look of mild displeasure. “You’d better get changed quick! Actually have a shower too, it’s in your hair!”

“This is gonna stain so bad!” Tearfully, she whines as she peels the drenched fabric from her sticky skin. “Hoseok’s gonna be so mad! His couch!”

“I’ll handle it I promise! Let’s pause the movie and you go take a nice hot shower while I clean the lounge okay?” Distracted, she nods sullenly, and the moment she stands you busy yourself with nabbing the lounge cushion, carrying it under her watchful gaze straight past the kitchen and into the laundry, and you hear her slowly ascend the stairs above you moments later, the click of the bathroom door upstairs signaling your success.

Socked feet hit the floor as you kick off your house slippers, any noises you might have made drowned out by the tap next to you streaming water into the laundry sink, and without pause you dart back into the lounge room and to the bottom of the stairs, listening carefully until the sound of the shower comes on. And then you move again.

Darting up the stairs you round the corner to the guest bedroom where Dawon is staying, and you can easily hear the shower curtain moving as she climbs into the cubicle, the sound of the water becoming inconsistent, and you know your time is running out.

Carefully and quietly as you can, you dart across the room to snatch her phone off the bed and then, covered by the sound of her singing while she bathes, you muster all your strength as you exit the room. The door shuts softly with a barely tangible click, and you take a deep breath before grabbing ahold of the edge of the hallway table, dragging it painfully slowly across the doorway with gritted teeth as you pray for silence.

You can hear the thundering of the water still hitting the shower floor through the wall, and your body starts to quiver with adrenaline as you flit back down the stairs and into the lounge. The keys to Hoseok’s car are in their normal spot hanging on the wall, and with a heavy chest you grab both the keys and your bag, shoes clutched tight in the crook of your elbow as you almost run through the front door.

You don’t waste a second of time, unlocking the car and climbing into the driver’s seat without hesitation. Any semblance of tipsiness you might have felt earlier had been completely engulfed with energy, and as quietly as you can, you start the car and peel away, leaving the dimly lit windows of Hoseok’s house behind.

“Come on, come on.” You’re practically vibrating in your seat as you drive, leg shaking as you jerkily accelerate and brake when necessary. If you were less frightened for your brothers safety, you might have considered the possibility of a police officer pulling you over before you could ever make it there, but any other worries or cares had completely fled your mind the minute you’d received that call from Hoseok.

Normally a ten minute minimum drive, you exhale in relief when in just over five minutes your street comes into view, and you immediately turn the corner and quickly pull up in front of a random neighbors house around four lots down from your own. From here you can just spot the mailbox and a hint of the front porch through the littering trees in people’s front yards, and you feel your heart thump strong in your throat.

Feet firmly planted in your sneaker and on the ground, you have the thought to ensure Dawon’s phone is silenced, but just as you flick the button, the screen lights up with words that have dread burning the back of your tongue like acid.

Hoseok – Home; you hadn’t considered the landline.

Swallowing thickly, you watch as the ringing quickly turns into a missed call message, and the only hope you have now is the fact that the chance of Hoseok having his own phone number written down in his house was slim to none.

Abandoning the car and your bag within it, you slowly begin your approach towards your house, back pocket still buzzing occasionally as Dawon dials her phone over and over. The closer you get to the edge of your yard, the tighter your body hugs the shadows, and you’re thankful for that instinct the moment you reach the end of your cover.

A silhouette, large and frighteningly unfamiliar crosses the porch over the dim lighting within, just enough for you to catch the sight of shoulders far too broad to be Hoseok’s, and you immediately shrink back. Frozen in fear, you watch as he walks to the other end of the porch just out of your sight before doubling back, and this time you catch his features under the mixture of moon and street lights.

A strong nose line curves into a rounded tip, and the clear poutiness of his lips casts heavy shadows down his chin in the minimal light. You’ve never seen him before, and the idea of a stranger in your home, near your family’s belongings and your defenseless baby brother has anger and determination flowing.

All to be squashed in a matter of seconds.

“Hyung! Hoseokie-hyung wants your help with something.” You flinch almost too violently at the sudden appearance of yet another stranger and it has you even more on edge, the feeling of dread surging back with the revelation that you have no idea just how many people could be inside your house.

“I said I didn’t want to be a part of any of that anymore.” The older boy responds vehemently, and you watch as the younger carefully approaches him and almost cages him towards the front door.

“Don’t pussy out. We made a deal.” Nausea hits you hard and heavy as you watch the older boy be mentally overpowered by the newcomer, and the moonlight shines in across his profile just enough to give you a hint of his features, and you force yourself to stifle a gasp behind your hands.

The sharpness of Jeon Jungkook’s jawline and the large round tip of his nose is unmistakable, and you feel your stomach roll at the sight of Hoseok’s young friend so easily manipulating his elder. You’d met Jungkook plenty of times over the year you’d been with Hoseok, and the complete lack of trace of the shy boy with the sparkly eyes and soft lisp had your skin crawling.

��I can’t do it, Kook. I’m not made for this kind of stuff, just the idea makes me want to vomit.” Jungkook scoffs, and the way the silhouette of his head moves, you can tell he’s rolled his eyes.

“Just get in there and draw the salt symbols before he gets pissed, otherwise you will be stuck doing shit you don’t want, hyung.” Jungkook and the elder boy stare at each other for a few seconds, the silence so tense it even has you holding your breath, but soon the unfamiliar boy relents and turns on his heel to disappear into the house, closely followed by the younger.

It takes you a few minutes to calm your heart and breathing, fuzziness filling your brain from the cloud of lightheadedness that quickly overcomes you, and once you’re sure the coast is clear, you dart forward from your line of cover and into the front yard, leg muscles burning as you quickly crouch out of sight and pause. Lack of any noise bar a slight hum of chatter from within has your nerves just a little bit soothed, and after a few seconds you inch forward, and forward some more, and a little more, until you’ve cleared the front entirely and can now peek around the side of the house.

Steering clear of the first floor windows, you creep your way back into the shadows of the trees lining your yard, and quickly look up at the second floor window that’s almost always got its curtains wide open with the warm glow from Jisung’s night light flickering through the pane.

Only tonight there’s nothing of the sort.

The window is shut tight, made clear by the complete absence of movement in the curtains, speaking of which are drawn completely over the window, leaving you no way of seeing any evidence of light within.

Jisung never, ever sleeps like that, and the revelation has your eyes filling with tears.

Your brain recognizes it as panic, but uncontrollably so, and you start to lose yourself as you slump against the trunk of the tree beside you. Helplessness is a powerfully fearful thing, and you can’t help the way you start to drown in it, gasping for air and you silently cry into the curve of your elbow.

Logically, there was nothing you could do. Just one of these boys could easily overpower you, let alone multiples of who knows how many, and your chances of getting Jisung and yourself out safely without being caught were slim to none. Not to mention the mountains of confusion and hurt you were still coming to terms with. Why did Hoseok and Dawon lie to you? Why were these people in your house, and what the hell were salt symbols used for? Something in you screamed that you knew the answer, but you were too scared to admit it to yourself.

Without another thought, you run as quietly as you can back to the side of the house. By the light and the sound of quiet conversation that you were blatantly ignoring, you could tell the inhabitants of your house were in the living room. Was this a guarantee that there were none anywhere else? Of course not. But you were desperate enough to give anything a go, with Jisung being your top priority above your own safety.

Peeking around the corner of the back of your house is harder, given the deck is a lot lower and the shrubbery makes it difficult to see clearly, but after a few minutes of careful inspection you deem the coast clear and slowly make your way to the stairs leading up to the deck. Crouching down beside the railing and peeking through the spaces in the wood, you ignore the aching in your calves as you watch closely for any sign of movement within, but upon finding nothing you take yet another risk and, carefully as can be, creep your way up the stairs and onto the deck.

In your concentration however, you forget entirely just how many mistakes could be made from walking across the slats of old wood, and a few steps in, just two more left until you can reach the backdoor, the plank beneath you groans strongly, and you immediately jerk off the wood and rush your last step to the door, flattening yourself against the wood beside it.

A cold chill washes over you as you hear all traces of chatter drop, and for a few painful moments, you wait with hopeful, bated breath, for them to continue.

Only you’re not so lucky, and shortly after the heaviness of footsteps crosses through the house until it comes to a stop just on the other side of the door, and you feel yourself start to shake under the pressure.

Ten seconds feels like ten hours as the unidentified person stands on the other side of the wood, and just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, you hear the screen door inside creak open followed shortly after by the tinkle of the doorknob turning, and then the shadow of the wood looms over you as it swings outwards, and you make yourself as small as possible as you wait for his next move.

The few moments are the most tense you've ever felt, and it's almost scary how you can practically feel the heat of his body on just the other side of now seemingly such a thing piece of wood. All it would take would be for him to completely walk out onto the deck and close the doors behind him, or even just push the wooden door back far enough to notice something behind it.

But he does neither, and just as you feel a bead of sweat bud over and glide down the side of your cheek, he turns on his heel with a grunt and walks back into the house, not bothering to shut the door behind him.

Your reverie is broken by the vibrations against your backside once more, and in your shaken state you pull the incessant device from your pocket only to almost drop it and yourself to the ground.

Because right there on the screen, flashing brightly with each surge in vibration against your palm, was your name, which only meant one thing – Dawon had finally gotten access to your phone. Time was running out, and no matter what happened nothing from here on out was going to end well.

In a split second decision, you slip quickly from behind the wooden door and catch the fly screen before it can click shut, and with a silent grace you didn't know you had, you quickly and efficiently slip between as small of a space as you can manage.  It takes a few seconds but you slowly ease the door back into place, just gently brushing the frame and all without a single sound.

But the peace is broken with such a horrifying sound your skin starts to crawl.

A scream of pain, choked and shrill, and you find yourself unable to look away from the sickening sight as blood falls to pool upon the floor of your living room.

You can't see his face past the tall, broadly framed man from earlier, but his hands are familiar, and even as your brain wants to refuse the knowledge, it's unmistakable that Hoseok is the one dragging the knife across his neck.

Blood rushes through your ears, burning under your skin like frostbite, and you feel your stomach clench with the need to heave. Panic renders you deaf, and you can no longer hear the way Hoseok has begun to chant in a language unfamiliar to you. His voice is almost disembodied, twisted and dark like you've never heard before, and your flesh itches as though covered in hives.

The boy before him falls quiet, merely a gurgling, splutter of a sound able to escape him as his throat starts to tear further, the knife falling away to show you the disturbing sight of his raw flesh and cartilage. And for just a second, blink and you could miss it, his eyes land terrifyingly on you, right as the light behind them drifts away.

And then he hits the floor with a thump, and you're staring straight into the eyes of your boyfriend.

A knowing smile stretches twistedly across his lips, and for a few seconds you both stay frozen in place, you watching numbly as his lips continue to move, whispers of the incantations he’d been speaking. But soon enough he finishes his chant, and your time is up.

“Baby, I was waiting for you to show up.” That sickly, unnerving sweetness coats his words, and you feel your muscles shudder in disgust. “Taehyung, do me a favour and keep her in place while we finish this.”

The sound of footsteps crossing the room towards you finally breaks you out of your frozen state, and in a split second decision you manage to reach behind you to the dining table and reef out one of the chairs. Taehyung doesn’t see it coming and by the time he's recovered from the impact of wood to the ribs, you're already out the back door and running as fast as you can towards the line of trees behind your house.

Air rushes past your ears loud enough to deafen you as the thicket of woodland starts to grow, but the creak of the fly screen flying open behind you and Taehyung's boots on the deck are still clear as day. It helps you to push yourself further, run faster, and after a minute you skid to a stop, flattening yourself against the broadest tree you can reach, and your heart thumps loud in your throat.

As your breathing slows, adrenaline calming and heart rate dropping, the sounds of the night start to pour in around you. Quiet tittering of crickets and animals in the night, the rustling of the branches above and around you, and the whistle of the wind as it winds through the woodland. Your ears strain to hear any trace of footsteps around you, even the hush of fabric as your chaser moves, but nothing breaks the calm, and that makes your anxiety spike even harder.

“_____~.” Your blood runs cold enough to freeze in your veins as his sing song drawl reaches you across the wind, and you immediately press yourself back into the wood behind you hard enough to bruise. “You can't run forever~.”

Holding your breath, you shut your eyes tight as the sound of his calling grows even closer, and you can feel the way your knees are starting to shake with nerves. There's no telling exactly what's going to happen if he catches you, and that feeling of unknowing makes you even more scared.

“Be a good girl, now.” Your spine stiffens at the crack of a twig under his foot, and you suddenly realise just how close he’s drawn. “Come out, come out wherever you are~.”

The cold is starting to bite at every inch of your exposed skin, and you shiver against the chill involuntarily as you stand, anxiety stricken and praying for god to save you.

“That's not a very good hiding spot.”

Gasping for air, your feet dig painfully into the ground as you scramble to dart away once more, but a large hand embedding into your hair has you jerked to a stop with a loud cry. Burning washes over the back of your skull as he tugs you back into place against the tree, and the force has your head cracking hard against the wood, excruciating pain enveloping your body.

You see him clearly now, shoulders broad and legs long as he stands before you, grinning darkly as he watches you wince and shake.

“Such a shame you mean so much to hyung, otherwise we could've had some proper fun.” The moonlight flashes across something in his hand, and you gasp at the sight of a small throwing axe, glinting as he flips it side to side, pacing in front of you. “I could always let you run a bit more, keep me busy while the boys clean up all the blood.”

“P-please.” Your voice is little more than a whisper, and he titters gently.

“Oh, no, don't misunderstand. I don't actually care about you.” The corner of his lips lifts even higher as he pauses, contorting his features further. “I just get a little jealous when I'm left out of the fun.”

Taking the chance as he turns to pace once more, you slip around the side of the tree to run back the way you'd come, but a sharp whistle cuts through the air right beside your head, and you slide to a stop as the axe embeds itself low on the tree before you.

Propelled forward suddenly by a hot weight at your back, you immediately struggle as Taehyung takes a hold of you once more, and you choke as his hands close in on your throat. Your back hits the wood, and he closes in on you, breath hot as it washes across your face.

“I didn't say you could move, little girl.” Your nails scrape against his hands as you claw with the hopes of freedom, lungs burning with the lack of air, but it only makes his hold tighten. “I don't like it when you disobey.”

His knees press into your thighs as your legs buckle under you, and finally, when your hand drops to attempt to alleviate the bruising pressure, you feel the thick leathery handle right beside your leg. With no hesitation, you muster all your strength and pull as hard as you can, feeling the pressure and sharp release as you successfully pull the axe from the wood, and then the hard thump as you promptly embed it into Taehyung's skull.

You can feel the immediate change in his hold on your throat, and after only a few seconds his grip turns slack as he falls to the ground. The warm splatter of his blood is still fresh on your face as you heave in a breath, and you back burns as you slide down the wood to fall to the ground.

It takes you a few moments for your breathing to return, chest still aching even as the haziness in your mind clears.

Jisung. Jisung is still at the house. Blood. So much blood. Don't let it be his.

Your legs burn, arm heavy with the weight of the bloody axe in your grip, but you push on running as fast as you can back to the house, and when you finally clear the trees you find every window dark and empty. Your family home normally so warm now looks haunting, and the knowledge of what could lie within makes your heart ache.

With a heavy heart, strung high with anxiety, you slip silently into the house through the wide open back door, eyes wide and alert as you search every nook and corner for a trace of presence. With each step you take, you find nothing, and soon you're easing your way up the stairs, body trembling at any noise or creak you hear echo off the walls. The salt and blood from earlier is gone, furniture back in place, and the way it'd all begun to seem like a mere nightmare has you dizzy.

The sight of Jisungs bedroom door has joy bursting in your chest, and you quickly jump forward to grasp the handle. But the jolt of pain colliding with your stomach has you reeling with a gasp, propelled backwards into the wall hard enough for the ache in your spine to return with a vengeance, and you realise too late you hadn't remembered to check the hallway.

Jungkook’s face is twisted with rage, eyes dark and unfamiliar as he storms towards you, and you scramble backwards into the corner, desperate to get away.

“You killed him.” Merely a grunt, his voice so dense with hatred that it has you whimpering in fear, and once he's close enough, he swings the baseball bat you hadn't yet spotted until it hits your thigh with a dull thunk. Crippling hurt reverberates through your body, and your chest burns with the scream that rips itself from your chest. “And now I'll kill you too.”

The bat lifts, aimed straight at your head, and the glint of the silver is the last thing you see before your eyes clench tight, body tense as you await the pain, but no such thing comes.

The bang of a gunshot rings through your ears, and your hands fly up to cover them as you curl yourself even tighter into the corner, feeling the thump as Jungkook’s body staggers and falls, blood dripping from his chest where a hole has been punctured clear through the muscle and bone.

“Tsk, he should've known better than to hurt you, baby.” Hoseok walks forward slowly, gun still cocked in his hand where he has it aimed at Jungkook’s back, and you swallow a scream as he pulls the trigger again.

“W-why, Hoseok. Why?!” You throat is too raw for you to make much more than a whisper, but he hears you clearly, and you sob as tears start to fall at the tender way he crouches before you, hand lifting to run his thumb across your bruised throat. You don’t truly know what you’re asking about, but it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

“I'd do anything for you, baby. You should know that.” His hand is cool on your flushed skin, but the sensation of his touch has your stomach rolling, and you flinch away automatically. “Anything.”

The wail of sirens in the distance has him pausing in his adoration, and his eyes glaze over in a way you've never seen before. Nostrils flaring, Hoseok tilts his head to the side to listen as the sounds get even closer, and your stomach drops.  

“You know I wasn't going to kill that little brat, but he seems to be more of a problem than his blood is worth. There’s plenty of innocents in the world to lose one.”

Your mouth opens to scream in protest, but Hoseok’s hand slaps hard against your lips, muffling any sound you make as he pulls you from the floor and against his chest. Your heels graze hard on the wooden floor as he drags you towards the closed door, spiking with splinters of pain, and within seconds you're both shut in on the other side of the wood.

“Noona!” Your brother’s high pitched cry reaches you through the pain covering your body, and instantly you struggle, managing to free your mouth just enough to shout.

“Jisung! Don't let him get near you!” Hoseok growls deep in your ear as he tugs you back into place, and you pause in your thrashing at the sound of a pistol cocking, blood running cold at the sight in the corner of your eye. Hoseok's gun, pointed straight towards your little brothers chest.

“You'll forgive me, baby.” A wet kiss is pressed against your temple, and your flowing tears are running slick over his fingers as you let out muffled sobs. “Because once you wake up, you won't remember a thing.”

His free arm wraps tight against your throat now, and in your weakened state you automatically start to slow in your movements. Your throat is completely closed under his strength, and your vision blurs around the edges as you start to fall slack in his grip. With one last push, you lean back into him, hard, and like a blessing from God he sways just enough under your weight that his aim on Jisung falters, and your little angel has the smarts to drop to the floor and scream for help at the top of his lungs.

“Little fucker!” Hoseok hisses, slamming you hard into the wall, and right as he turns to approach your brother, you're struck with a surge of adrenaline with the desire to save him.

Your weight hits Hoseok hard, shoving him forward onto the ground and sending the gun flying. The scream that escapes him is alight with rage, and he struggles to flip onto his back as you scramble for the knife hooked onto his belt.

The struggle begins as he manages to turn over, and his hands close in tight around your wrists as you push with all your might, screaming with the burning effort to reach him with the blade. But he's strong, far stronger than you, and after just seconds he has you off balance, tipping back precariously in his lap as he readies himself to restrain you once more.

The gunshot cracks through the air deafeningly, and you both pause in your fight as the world around you rings into silence.

Blood stains his dark grey shirt, turning black in the quickly soaking fabric, and your hands shake as you fall forward over his body, muscles seizing and the nauseating smell of copper permeating through the air. Weakly, you lift your head, and your brain barely managed to comprehend the sight of your little Jisung with Hoseok’s large gun in his hands, cheeks shining with tears as he stares down at you.

When the police finally break into the room, you're cradling your little baby brother in your arms as the both of you weep for the loss of love and trust, numbly, and you know from this day forth, you'll both never be the same.

[iknowthisgirlfromgeorgia-blog]

cliché | 01

☽ pairings: hoseok x oc, taehyung x oc

☽ genre/warnings: fluff

☽ wordcount: 2.4k

☽ chapters: 1 | 2 (coming soon)

☽  ➝ summary: moving abroad for university comes with many surprises. a new house, a new life and most of all . . . new neighbours.

✧ ･ﾟ : * ✧ ･ﾟ : *

“I feel like I’ve been reborn,” Mae sounded out with an airy chuckle, making Saffron shake her head gently, suddenly awakened from her daylight slumber. Today was their first day abroad. 

A whole new country, a whole new house and a completely different life awaited the two just behind the corner, and Saffron couldn’t really say she was ready for it. The girl didn’t like changes, not at all, but this one simply had to be pursued. Moving to Canada was a big step for two college-aged women, but life can throw you into deep waters unexpectedly and without a warning. That’s what happened to her and Mae.

The letter that came in the mail one Saturday evening was a document Mae would cherish for the rest of her life. How could a little, beige envelope bring one such pride and joy? Well, how could it not? Getting into the college of your dreams was something any young, ambitious human would be ecstatic about, and that's exactly what Mae was clutching her acceptance letter from the University of Ottawa.

 Saffron herself was simultaneously upset and excited about the news. Mae would finally leave for Canada to pursue her dream, but on the downside . . . she’d be gone from her life, for who knows how long? The female couldn’t really stomach the thought of her best friend being gone for the entirety of collage. Heck, wasn't that when most people peaked? Saffron didn't want to experience her best without Mae. Yes, FaceTime and WhatsApp existed, but she knew maintaining a friendship would be difficult that way. Not even mentioning timezones.

What would happen to seeing each other every other day? What about movie nights and banana pancakes on Sunday mornings? Oh, Saffron loved Mae’s pancakes. Waking up at noon, dressed in her comfiest sweater, leaning against the kitchen island while watching her friend prepare breakfast was a ritual Saffron would never want to abandon. The light, fluffy dough engulfed in a thick, sugary syrup and, if the season allowed it, fresh berries was delectably a taste of heaven. The mere thought of the morning treat made the female’s mouth water with nostalgia and pure sentiment.

Enough pancake talk, though. The red-head females head felt like a storm cloud, filled with paroxysms of electricity and emotions she couldn’t really fathom with the little energy she had. There weren’t many options in this case, and the two both knew it. Saffron could stay there, in Seoul. The city they have both lived in for almost two decades now . . . or do the unthinkable. It took a long, troublesome week, but the decision was finally made.

 And it was the unthinkable option.

 They left within a month of the letters arrival. Mae was sceptical of Saffron's choice at first, worried about her friends sudden, possibly risky decision, but the girl wouldn’t be turned down that easily, and they both knew that very well.

”I’m coming with you, and that’s my final decision,” were Saffron’s final words as the two made their way past airport security. Her voice didn’t dare tremble, and that had to be a sign that she was sure of her decision to the very core of her being. Mae was silent this entire time, exhausted from hours upon hours of planning, packing and worrying, but Saffron couldn’t help but notice the slightest smile form on the girl’s lips once they boarded. It stayed there for the remainder of the flight, giving Saffron hope for a successful fresh start.

 Here they were now, sitting on the floor of their brand new living room, surrounded by countless cardboard boxes scribbled by black Sharpie. The condition of the house was more than decent, especially considering its long history of occupants! Cozy, affordable and somewhat well situated; the perfect combination for two highschool graduates. Not to mention the landscapes! Besides being surrounded by a nice neighbourhood, their new house was a short distance away from a forest. Who knew what secrets roamed about in the area? It was only a matter of time until the female would be able to pounce around, discovering every corner of the area.

 Saff’s hand traced the groves between planks of the wooden floor, noticing each bruise and crevice. It felt so cold and strange compared to the carpeted floors of her old apartment. The walls were empty and dulled, but clean. A paint job was possibly needed, but how hard could that be? It was difficult not to picture the moment the two would be able to start decorating them. Perhaps a bookshelf full of Mae’s favourite cookbooks, or an array of modern art pieces found at garage sales? The thought of marking the house as their own itself was enough to make Saffron’s heart skip a beat, cheeks flushed with excitement.

”Earth to Bae Saffron?” The female’s head shook once more, realising she was zoning out. ”Jet lag?” Mae questioned with a soft smile, lips stained a soft crimson.

To Saffron, it was always surprising how effortlessly put-together the girl could look. Ash blonde hair frizz-less, tied into a loose sock-bun with a few strands of hair framing her heart-shaped face. Her casual look was completed with an oversized, maroon hoodie draped over her slim figure. Simple, yet exquisite.

Saffron let out a soft sigh pass her lips at the girls playful question. What was occupying her mind wasn’t fatigue, but a sense of excitement and hopefulness for the future. After all, the two hadn’t had a chance to meet any of their neighbours as of yet, or even explore the area. Despite the obvious anxiety that came with meeting new people, Saffron was quite adamant on experiencing that part of moving. The female didn’t exactly have many friends back in Seoul, so starting fresh could be a chance for new relationships, platonic or not.

 "Hey, you," Mae started off once more, perhaps realising her question wasn’t to be answered anytime soon. “I did some thinking overnight, and I landed on a pretty neat idea,” She remarked, voice laced with excitement and pride.

Oh boy.

Mae's ideas had a tendency of being outgoing, and usually involved doing things Saffron normally wouldn't even think of. “What if we went out to meet our neighbours tomorrow? Try and settle in better.” She proposed, a smile lingering on her lips as she shrugged slightly, trying to come off as nonchalant. That was the typical Mae, her and her strange gift of knowing exactly what hr friends were thinking of at the given moment. Scary, but oddly amusing.

“Sure, why not.” Saffron answered, giving the older female a friendly smile and nod. It was quite relieving to have the female suggest socializing herself. After all, it was a burden off of Saffron’s shoulders.

“We are settled pretty close to the university campus, after all. I wouldn’t be surprised if we had more students scattered around the neighbourhood.” She chimed, brushing a stray fragment of hair behind her ear before digging her hands in the box labelled ‘books’.

 Saffron acknowledged her friend's comment with another brisk nod, before letting out a yawn, shifting her position to stand up with a pained groan. ”You’re getting old!” Mae laughed wickedly at her younger friend’s aching, getting an eye-roll thrown towards her as a sign of playful annoyance. Saffron couldn't help but let out her own series of giggles at her own misfortune, arms now extended to stretch out her joints.

“Damnit!” Mae cursed out suddenly as Saff’s own eyebrows stitched together in question. “What’s wrong?” She asked, as Mae cupped her face with a groan. ”I'm missing a box. It should be in the garage, or outside on the porch, perhaps . . . ”* she finally muttered, getting a soft ‘oh’ from her friend once she realised the issue. “I could fetch for you.” She told her simply, giving the older a reassuring grin. It’s not like she had much more to do, anyway. Unpacking boxes was boring and hefty, and the girl would rather be doing anything else if she was to be frank.

”Would you? Ah, you’re such a dear.” Mae spoke hoarsely, doing her best to imitate an elderly lady, which she definitely nailed. Giving her one last chuckle, Saff hopped out of the room, humming a soft tune to herself. Nothing in particular, merely a series of tones that went well together. Hand sliding into the pocket of her shorts, she made her way down the stairs and into the living room area. It didn’t look much different from any other room in the house, considering all that it held was a bunch of cardboard.

Saffron’s eyes searched each door in sight, as she finally managed to locate the entrance which surprisingly didn't have any distinguishing features that would help her in her task. Embarrassingly enough, the girl was still in deep confusion about the layout of their new home, even a week into moving in. She sighed in frustration, nimble fingers lacing around the metal doorknob before turning it with ease, door creaking upon pull.

 The weather was better than she would’ve ever expected from Canada. The sky was a deep grey shade, interrupted by a few rays of sunshine coming through. Air fresh and slightly damp, a neat compromise that Saff was somewhat okay with. The girl breathed in, arms raised as she allowed herself for a more thorough stretch, without any of Mae’s comments this time. "Now, where the hell is that damned box, huh?"

 ”Hey, you!” Saffron looked around, eyes widened at the sudden, unfamiliar voice coming from somewhere, clearly nearby. “Yeah, you. With the orange hair!” Her breath caught in her throat as she realised she was obviosuly the one being spoken to. She couldn't imagine anyone else sporting the bold shade of ginger she rocked.

Eyes narrowed and eyebrows raised, she finally caught sight of the only other human in the perimeter.

 A man, roughly in his twenties. Hair a soft brown, curling here and there to create an effortlessly flawless brunette arrangement. Skin fair and spotless even from several meters away, Saffron could clearly make out his dark brown eyes and pink lips which were twisted into the sweetest grin the girl had ever seen.

Despite the delicious sight in front of her, she didn’t allow herself any closer to the male without the proper questioning. “And who’s speaking?” She asked with a furrowed brow, a slight scowl on her face. She could only blame her hostile attitude on staying inside for the past week.

The man let out a warm laugh, and Saffron realised the silliness of her question only then when it was too late. He was sitting on the porch of a neighbouring house, fingers loosely gripping onto the rim of a can of soda. “Just a friendly neighbour. Isn’t it obvious?” He stood up, leaving the comfort of the wooden step as he made his way towards the fence. Saffron’s cheeks flushed a heated pink, partly due to the embarrassing nature of the situation, but mostly because of the man’s awfully confident stature. Hands rested against the top of the wooden fence, the female realised it was short enough to act as support for the man’s head as he propped it in the palm of his hand comfortably.

“I saw the moving van come through not too long ago. You’re new around here, aren't you?” He questioned, making Saffron take a cautious step forward. “We are. My best friend and I moved in about a week ago from Seoul. For university, and all that,” the female responded, arms crossing as she cocked her head to the side, slightly taken back by the man’s kindness.

 ”Seoul? We have more in common than I thought!” He exclaimed in child-like excitement, making Saffron chuckle softly at his beaming face.

“I moved here with my friend a year ago. Both of us study at UO,” Saffron’s eyes left his frame for a second, hearing the front door open once more, a familiar creaking making her wince.

“Saff?” Mae called out, approaching the short girl briskly, hand hooking around her shoulder comfortably. The man gave the newcomer a polite smile, studying both women closely. "Saff, huh? Nice to meet you. I’m Hoseok," He remarked.

“Nice to meet you, neighbour. I’m Mae, we moved here this week," the female chimed out, giving Saffron's shoulder a squeeze of encouragement. "But you probably know that already considering how long you two have been talking,” Mae chuckled teasingly, placing a hand on her hip as she gave Hoseok a nod.

Saffron gulped at the girl’s statement, realising the entire reason she was outside in the first place. “Funnily enough, we've been very keen on meeting our neighbours. It’s nice to walk into one of them like this!”* Mae acknowledged, getting a nod of agreement from her friend and a warm chuckle from their neighbour. "Well, I'm very happy we ran into each other, then!" he beamed, giving Saffron a conforting look. Was it visible she was nervous?

"Hey, we should do a formal greeting one day. Are you busy tomorrow?” Mae inquired, giving Saffron a gentle shake. Was she teasing, or did she want the female to take initiative? Whatever it was, Saffron was too focused on forming coherent sentences in her head to say anything.

 “Hobi!! Where the hell did you go, again?!" Another male voice came from inside the house, slightly deeper than Hoseok’s and muffled due to the distance. “Well, that’s my call. I’ll see you around?” He winked, before running back on his porch and disappearing back into the house, leaving behind only the possibly empty can of pop.

Saff let out a sigh as soon as the man left her field of vision, hands reaching to rub at her temples furiously. “This was . . . ” Mae started off, as she let go of the girl’s shoulder and proceeded to walk into the garage, locating the box she was looking for. “ . . . tiring?” Saffron finished off, earning an amused chuckle from Mae. “I was about to say exciting, but that works, too,”

✧ ･ﾟ : * ✧ ･ﾟ : *

[galahadwilder]

Children of War, Ch. 6: And Answers Leave More Questions

The note had been in his locker the next morning, though nothing else had moved. It hadn’t been dropped through the slats, either; it was laid flat, face-up, in the exact center of his locker.

Meet me for lunch at my place, it said. It was signed, Marinette.

Adrien found himself unnerved by the fact that she seemed to know his locker combination. While they’d been growing closer over recent months, there was still a lot about Marinette that she kept close to her chest, still a lot of things he didn’t know about her. How had she gotten into his locker? And what was the note for?

If this was a prank, it was certainly a strange one. And if it was something else...

He didn’t want to think about that.

He pushed through the bakery door and waved to the giant behind the counter. “Hi, Monsieur Dupain.”

The baker grinned through his mustache. “My boy!” he said. “We weren’t expecting you today.”

Marinette’s mother poked her head through the kitchen door. “Is that Adrien?” she said. “Oh, how lovely! I’ll make you something with chocolate in it.”

”That’s... not necessary, Madame Cheng,” Adrien said. “But thank you?”

”Nonsense!” she responded, disappearing into the back, her voice growing fainter through the door. “A growing boy has to eat!”

Tom shook his head. “The amount I’ve seen you scarf down, it’s a wonder they feed you in that house at all.” He leaned his elbow against the counter and braced his chin against his hand. “So, what brings you to this humble bakery? Here to see the little lady?”

”Yeah actually,” Adrien said, gesturing at his backpack. “She left a note in my locker.”

Tom’s eyes grew wide as his smile turned mischievous. “Did she, now.” He straightened and grabbed a pair of tongs, placing croissants beneath glass the counter. “She’ll be delighted to see you. Head on up!”

Adrien ducked his head in a sort of half-nod of acknowledgement. “Thanks, Monsieur Dupain,” he said, heading toward the stairs.

With each step, his heartbeat grew louder, faster, harder. Why had she left that note? What was this about?

He opened her door slowly, carefully, quietly, trying not to betray his anxiety.

“I know you’re there.”

Adrien shrieked, tripping over his own feet and almost landing face-first on Marinette’s hardwood floor—but instead, found himself supported by a pair of strong yet tiny hands.

”Ohmygosh I’m so sorry!” Marinette yelped. “I’m sorry I’m freaking out a little and I just trying to are you okay?”

Her hands were very strong. “Ffffine,” he said. “Gonna stay here for a minute.”

Neither one of them moved. Adrien could feel her staring at the back of his neck, and the temperature in the room seemed to rise a few degrees out of pure awkward.

”Adrien,” she said, finally. “You’re hurting my arms.”

”Crap!” he yelped, yanking himself out of them and dropping to the floor. He craned his neck upward, and froze when he came face-to-face with the softest gaze of endless sapphire blue.

”Um,” he said. The rest of the words were missing.

”Uh,” Marinette replied, apparently as lost for words as he was.

Adrien jolted to his feet. “Right!” he yelped. “Um, uh, letter! In locker!” He yanked the letter from his pocket, presenting it to her as if she hadn’t written it in the first place.

Marinette stared at it in much the same manner, her eyes growing so wide that he was afraid they were going to pop out of her face. “Right, the letter,” she breathed.

She looked at him, met his eyes, took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said. “Okay okay okay.” She ran her hand through her hair, glancing away from him. “Something happened last night, something really scary, and I just... I need to know some things, okay?” She swallowed. “I promise I’ll explain everything in a minute.”

”Um...” This... whatever this was, it was sounding scarier and scarier. Few things put Marinette on edge like this. He was torn between the desire to help, and the desire to bolt before getting drawn into something that he really shouldn’t be a part of.

”Please, Adrien.”

Help it was. “What do you need?”

Marinette collapsed into her computer chair in relief. “Okay,” she said. “Do you have any brothers or cousins I don’t know about?”

Adrien sat on the chaise, confused, but he left his confusion unvoiced—she’d promised she’d explain. “No,” he said. “Only child, and no cousins.”

Marinette swallowed, nodded. Reached for her mouse and jiggled it. “And is this your uncle?”

Félix Agrete’s face appeared on her screen, under the headline, RECLUSIVE BROTHER OF FAMOUS DESIGNER ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL AFTER AKUMA ATTACK.

“Yes,” Adrien said.

Marinette practically froze mid-breath.

They stared at each other, both terrified. “Mari?” Adrien said. “Are you okay?”

Marinette blinked, the long blink of someone returning to reality after a big shock. ”How did I never see it before?” she whispered. “All this time you’ve been sitting right in front of my face.”

”See wha—” Adrien began, but was interrupted by her leaning forward to... ruffle his hair?

She leaned back, sizing him up. “Dieu, we’re both idiots,” she said. “You’re Chat Noir.”

Every single one of Adrien’s body processes stopped at once—his heart ceased to beat, his lungs failed to breathe, his stomach halted its roiling, his eyes didn’t blink. Even his brain stopped, save the rising thought of no no no nononoNONONO! “What?” he yelped. “No, I’m not—that’s—where did you get—”

Marinette trapped his cheeks between her hands. Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Please, Adrien,” she breathed. “I—I’m scared, and Tikki won’t tell me anything, and I don’t know what’s going on, and I can’t do this without my partner—”

”Tikki?” Adrien said. His stomach collapsed inward. “Marinette, are you...?”

She nodded. “Hi, Minou.”

***

They’d both managed not to scream, but it was a very narrow thing. Marinette had barely been able to push through the planned conversation as Ladybug before her brain finally kicked in and reminded her this was Adrien, this was the boy who was so perfect she could never even talk to him, and he was her partner, and somehow that made it worse instead of better? Because she loved Chat, and she wanted Adrien, and all that energy was smashing together like a faultine into a suffocating mass of needwantCRAVE.

Adrien, for his part, seemed to have been struck dumb by the revelation of her identity, the knowledge that they’d been so close for a year and never even known it. He was staring at her, his hair in Chat’s customary mess, but despite finally looking like his other half he was utterly speechless.

”You weren’t supposed to say anything” Tikki growled from inside Marinette’s bag.

“That made sense when it was just Hawkmoth they were dealing with,” a muffled voice replied from inside Adrien’s shirt. “Get off your high horse, Sugarcube. They need this.”

Adrien and Marinette locked eyes. “Sugarcube?” they said in unison.

Tikki groaned. “They’re not ready, Plagg!”

A tiny black shape zipped out from Adrien’s chest. “Well then we need to GET them ready, before they end up DEAD!”

Adrien boggled. “Plagg?”

”We’re weapons, kid,” the tiny cat said. “You don’t make weapons unless you’re planning to fight a war.”

”Like... against Hawkmoth?” Marinette said.

Plagg sighed. “No,” he said. “The Miraculi were never supposed to be used against each other.” He drifted off to stare out the window. “I’m sorry, Kid,” he said, without turning his head. “I really am.”

***

”So what now?” Adrien said as he walked Marinette back to class.

“N-Now?” Marinette said. Trying not to think about the fact that this was Adrien, not just Chat, walking alongside her, trusting her, following her lead. Bad answers whirled through her head—kiss until we can’t breathe, go to the movies, find a hamster to adopt—but she managed to focus, barely. “Uhm, tonight. We meet up near Nino’s place.”

Adrien looked askance at her. “Why Nino’s?”

”Mercury’s his dad,” Marinette said, pushing through the door to the classroom. “And he promised us answers.”

Answers neither Kwami had been willing to provide—Plagg had gotten lost in old memories, muttering about his previous wielders, while Tikki had burrowed herself into Marinette’s bag and refused to say anything. Marinette May have only been fourteen, but she’s knew enough about human behavior to recognize trauma when she saw it. Whatever this was, it had scarred the Kwami. Badly.

”He’s what?” Adrien said, following her into the empty classroom. “No wonder you recognized him last night.”

”I almost didn’t,” Marinette said. “If I’d seen his face before I’d heard his voice—”

It was that moment that Kim walked through the door, and both Adrien and Marinette fell silent. They looked at each other and nodded: they didn’t need to speak to communicate. Tonight, they agreed.

Marinette daydreamed her way through class, imagining—hoping for, maybe—a much less professional patrol tonight.

@vicckychepz @sailormew4 @thoughtscontagion @snow-swordswoman

“Children of War” is already on chapter 7 on my AO3! If you want to read it here, though, be sure to follow the tag on my page.