#hope you enjoyed either way!

[alrightbuckaroo]

I Love You; I Want Us Both To Eat Well

Rating: General Audience | Prompt fill for @tarlosweeklyprompts word of the day, "Sour"

“How do you tell someone you love that they’re not good at something?” Carlos asks Nancy and Mateo. He thought he’d join TK for lunch, but TK’s been in Owen’s office for the better part of a half hour. 

“I don’t know,” Mateo shrugs. “Nancy’s good at everything.” 

“Aw,” Nancy croons. “Babe, you’re so good at telling the truth.” 

“I’m serious, you two.” Carlos brings the conversation back on topic.  Mateo and Nancy both stare at him, waiting for him to explain what’s caused him to ask the question in the first place. “Have,” Carlos pauses, trying to pick his words carefully. “Have either of you ever tried TK’s cooking before?” 

Mateo and Nancy stare at each other before Nancy responds, “Now that I think about it,” 

“I don’t think we have.” At Carlos’ face, Nancy picks up where Mateo’s left off. “I’m assuming that’s a good thing by the look on your face.” 

“Well, the precinct is having its annual bake sale this week and TK said he’d help by making a batch of cookies. He made them yesterday while I was out shopping. When I got home, he had me taste one of them, and it was a bit,” Carlos grimaces. “Sour”   

“Well what kind of cookies were they?” 

“Sugar.” Carlos playfully frowns at the memory. Nancy and Mateo both wince and Carlos nods. “I think he was trying to use lemon zest but they taste the way Pinesol smells.” 

“Wait, with as long as you two have been together, you’ve never tried his cooking?” 

“I always cooked. "Carlos shrugs. "Not because I felt like I had to. I’ve always just liked to. Some of my favorite memories are cooking with my mom and my sisters.” Carlos sighs. “Anyways, now I’ve got a container full of sour sugar cookies that I don’t think will even make it to the table, let alone sell. What do you think I should do?” 

“You’ve gotta eat all the cookies, man.” Mateo says. 

“Or,” Nancy interjects. “You could just tell him the truth.” 

Carlos considers both options. “Carlos.” Nancy says. 

“Fine,” Carlos sighs, “I’ll do the right thing.” 

— 

“Hey babe,” Carlos greets TK as he walks through the front door. He walks over to Carlos, watching him stir the pasta sauce and kisses him on the cheek. 

“How was the rest of your shift?” Carlos asks, bringing the sauce up to taste it. He reaches for the oregano as TK tells him the story about a cat stuck in a tree. 

“Seems a bit on the nose,” Carlos jokes and TK chuckles. He continues to tell Carlos that the owner had tried to climb said tree and sprained his wrist when he fell from said tree. “Hm, maybe that’s a little less on the nose.” 

“I also had a very interesting conversation with Nancy and Mateo before I left.” TK's tone of voice making it clear what the conversation was about.

Carlos falters slightly, but continues stirring the pasta sauce. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” TK answers, though he doesn’t sound dejected. “Babe,” He reaches for Carlos’ arm, his way of asking Carlos to look at him. “Why didn’t you just tell me that the cookies tasted bad?” 

Carlos reaches for the stove knob, lowering the heat of the eye. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I know you put a lot of work into making them, and I didn’t want you to think that any of that was a waste."

“And as thoughtful as that is, what were you going to do with the cookies? Eat them all yourself?” TK asks, sarcastically. Carlos is silent a beat too long for the joke to be funny anymore. “Carlos.” 

“I wasn’t going to eat all of them.” Carlos is quick to clarify. 

“Baby if they weren’t good you don’t have to any of them.” TK smiles, rubbing his arm up Carlos’ shoulder. “You can tell me when something is bad, it won’t hurt my feelings.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” TK shrugs. “Cooking’s never been a strength for me. Being bounced around so much between mom and dad, takeout kind of became a staple. I guess I never really learned how to. Even when my mom and I used to make cookies, she did a lot of the heavy lifting.” 

“Well, I’ll always be happy to cook for you, you know that, right” Carlos explains. 

“Of course,” TK smiles softly. “Just thought it’d be nice to return the favor.” He shakes his head. “Anyways, what’s for dinner?" 

Carlos stirs the sauce, before bringing a spoonful of the sauce up to TK to taste. “Hm.” TK savors the taste. “Tastes good, babe.” He kisses Carlos on the lip. “But not as good as you.” 

—

“Hey babe,” TK announces when he walks into the apartment.

He walks over to the kitchen and sees Carlos wearing an apron and standing in front of the island. It’s covered in an assortment of vegetables, spices, flour and a thick book TK hasn’t seen before. “What’s all this?” 

“This,” Carlos waves a hand over everything, “Is what we’ll need for our first day of Carlos’ Cooking Class.” 

“Carlos’ Cooking Class?” 

“Yeah, name’s not great, but I did just think of it.” He reaches for the book and opens it. “I found this when I was visiting my parents yesterday. It’s the same book my mom used to use when Sofia, Maria and I would cook with her. Figured it would be a good place to start.” 

TK stares at Carlos and then back at the stuff laid in front of him. “You’re going to teach me how to cook?” 

“I figured now is as good time as any.” Carlos answers, smiling. “It’s never too late to learn.” He hands TK his own apron. 

“Babe, you didn’t have to do this.” 

“I know, but I want to.” 

TK smiles because when is Carlos ever not Carlos? He pulls on his own apron before asking. “You really wanna teach me how to cook? It might take me a couple of tries to get it right.” 

“Of course I do.” Carlos pulls TK close to him. “I’ll always love an excuse to spend more time with you.” 

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

request: Hii im the anon who ask for the wips and i saw the blurbs you have. IM VERY MUCH HOOKED with the third ones where hoshina loves reader's smile🥹 relating to that maybe i would like to add(if you want, but feel free to do seperate if you want) soft moments with hoshina x reader who felt like she being the most pessimistic person regarding love(not anti but just felt like she doesn't deserve it) so she is on denial when hoshina make a move on her

notes: reader is usually rather energetic, talkative reader, hoshina thinks you are "beautiful" at some point, TYSM FOR THE REQ!! sorry it took so long omg

wc: 1300

Something was wrong— terribly wrong. There was no way someone would want you, let alone your vice-captain who could have anyone in the world. Not your vice-captain who did everything with such care and looked after everyone so preciously. And definitely never your vice-captain you were terribly in love with.

There must be some mistake. Or else he wouldn’t have just said what you thought he said.

“Pardon me?” you asked.

He looked a little flustered and you had never seen such an expression on him, confusing you further. “I love you,” he said again, softly. “I’d love to know if you’re in a relationship.”

The way he spoke so carefully added to how nervous it made you feel— it was so different from how he usually talked to you. Now, you were lost to say the least, because you couldn’t think of one reason why he would like you, let alone romantically. Under normal circumstances, you’d assume you were being played with or that this was a silly prank or dare, but you knew that Hoshina wasn’t one to do something so horrible. So what was happening?

“I am not…” you said, still confused, but the visible relief in his eyes made your heart tighten. Oh gosh, is he serious?

“I’m… thrilled,” he said, and he wished you goodnight and left. While you were terribly flustered to know he liked you back, there was a voice in your head that wouldn’t stop making you feel anxious. Something felt so odd to you— to be loved back. To be loved back by him. You enjoyed talking to people so you talked to him often, but never had you thought he'd think of you like that. Having a naturally talkative personality, it was true that both of you had fun talking to each other, but you had accepted that your love was unrequited ages ago. When would he have possibly fallen in love with you? The more you thought about it the more impossible it sounded. As thoughts of him circled your head, it’d be morning before you knew it.

It'd be hard for him to point out exactly when he fell in love with you, because he was in love before he knew it. Before he knew it, he'd catch himself following you with his eyes. He adored watching you work, because you made everything look exciting. Of course, he saw how you groaned at the paperwork you had to do, but he'd see how the little things would put a smile on your face.

He liked the work he did, he liked all of it quite frankly. From neutralizing kaiju all the way down to the research he had to do— rarely did he think something was a chore to do, but if you were around to laugh at something silly he found or mutter about the binders and binders of files that the 3rd division just doesn't have space for anymore, he'd start looking forward to these moments.

While he knew you were like this with everyone, he hoped that you were happiest with him. It would mean everything to him if you looked forward to doing seemingly mundane work with him too.

However, while he loved so much about you, there was one moment specifically that made him realize he wasn't moving on. His heart would be yours forever at this rate. You'd look so horribly tired after all this work, and yet, if someone needed help with anything at all, you'd still smile and ask them what's wrong. You'd find the energy and speak to them so kindly. You might not have the energy you usually had, but you'd be so happy to help. Even if they couldn't tell how exhausted you were, he could. He knew how much you did for everyone in the division, and he thought you were stunning when you did so. You were the most beautiful when you had that lovely smile on your face that seemed to light up his world.

He loved you so dearly.

You loved talking to people, so there always seemed to be something for you to talk about. A new finding you wanted to share or a terribly random thought that popped up in your head. While you naturally talked to most of the people in the division, you looked forward to talking to Hoshina the most. The way he'd always listen so intrigued at your dumbest thoughts and laugh at the smallest things you said meant more to you than one would probably think.

And if you shared your daily happenings with him, he'd share his with you too. To say you loved these moments would truly be an understatement. Nothing could possibly make you happier.

However, you knew he was like this with everyone. His laugh would always manage to keep the morale of the division up and he'd never miss potential problems in the condition of any of his officers. You knew he was a sweet person, but also the best one could ask for in a vice-captain. You weren't special— he was like this to everyone. You knew better than anyone else.

You couldn't imagine anyone falling for you, let alone the kindest person you'd ever meet in your life. Let alone the person you'd probably love for the rest of your life.

Yet, here you were, alone with him this afternoon working away through paperwork and it was quiet. Eerily quiet. He was the first to break the silence.

“I rather dislike the rain,” he said, looking out the window. “It’s been raining all day.”

You paused to look outside as well. “No, you’re right. I don’t mind the rain, but I hate how dark everything is.”

“Yeah,” he said. More silence.

“Sorry, I’m awkwardly nervous now,” he said, eyes fixed on his work. “I didn’t mean to make things… weird.”

You could tell he probably didn’t want you to, but you couldn’t help but look his way. Your eyes widened and your heart filled. You weren’t afraid to say much, but you were afraid to talk about this. However, you thought you’d be able to if you were talking to him.

“I just… can’t imagine that you’re… in love… with me,” you said, looking down at your paperwork. “Sounds too good to be true. I know... sounds unlike me, right?”

Immediately he looked up at you, shocked to say the least. You could tell he probably wanted to ask why, but he thought for a moment more.

“What… would I be able to do to show that I am?” he asked. “You’re the one I love… you always will be.”

Your eyes widened. “I just… don’t know why,” you said honestly. “Why me?”

“Because I love you,” he said. “I love a whole lot about you, but I love being with you. I enjoy spending time with you and watching you enjoy the life around you. Is that too simple?”

It took you a second to reply, but you felt a lot better. “No, not at all,” you said. “Because I feel exactly the same way.”

“You’re kidding”

“Absolutely not”

“I’m going to kill you if you’re lying,” he said.

That made you laugh. “You know I wouldn’t,” you said, and yes, he knew you wouldn’t.

“Hey, Hoshina,” you said, avoiding eye-contact. “If I get worried… will you tell me again?”

“I’d tell you until you get sick of my voice,” he said while getting up to kiss your forehead. “I love you so much.”

[an-established-butt-dent]

I am not a god.

I am prideful, hotheaded and foolish -

- and I'm doing what I must.

When you report back to the Inquisitor,

say that I am sorry.

Audio is an excerpt from this video by Solas' voice actor.

Colored pencil on paper.

[cassandracain52]

A canon compliant guide of Bruce Wayne’s officially adopted children

I noticed there has been some confusion about who all in the BatFam is actually legally adopted by Bruce Wayne so I thought I’d try and help clear some things up.

(Full disclosure you can of course headcanon whatever you like, I made this is strictly to help newer fans know what is actually canon💕)

Dick Grayson: Adopted

(Batman: Gotham Knights #17 and Batman #600)

Many fans argue over whether or not Dick is officially adopted, many saying it was never official and he is still just his ward.

Though he does admittedly usually spend the majority of his actual childhood as a ward, Bruce ends up officially adopting Dick as his son(as I have explained before here)in multiple timelines

Barbara Gordon: Not Adopted

(Batgirl and the Birds Of Prey Rebirth)

There was never a need for Barbara to be adopted because she still has a Dad. She is however still very much in the BatFamily and has trained under and with Bruce

Jason Todd: Adopted

(The New Titans (1988) #55 and Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying)

Now I couldn’t track down a comic where we actually get to see Bruce adopt Jason, but there are plenty of instances in which his adoption is referenced -including but not limited to these two- throughout several timelines and reboots

Cassandra Cain: Adopted

(Batgirl 2008 #6)

Now this one is a bit more debatable as aside from this one instance, Cass’ adoption is never really mentioned again even after the timeline gets rebooted. Still the general consensus is that Cassandra’s adoption is considered canon.

Tim Drake: Adopted

(Batman #654 and Red Robin #4)

Though Tim declines Bruce’s offer of being adopted at first, we get to see Bruce adopt Tim as his son about a year or so later. His adoption is also referenced across multiple reboots

Stephanie Brown: Not Adopted

(Batgirls #13, Robin (1993) #174, and Robin (1993) #126)

Now the main reason Stephanie is not and probably will not be adopted is because both her parents are alive. While her Dad is a villain and out of the picture, her mother is a nurse and fully capable of taking care of her.

Bruce does however train her during her brief stint as Robin and much like Barbara she is no less apart of the BatFamily, she’s just not in the Wayne Family

Duke Thomas: Not Adopted (technically)

(All Star Batman #1 and Batman & the Signal #3)

Now Duke is never officially adopted because technically his parents are alive just insane due to Joker’s toxin of which there is no cure. However Bruce does take him in and let him stay at the manor and it is heavily implied he becomes Duke’s foster parent so do with that what you will

Damian Wayne: Not Adopted/Biological child

(Batman and Robin (2011) #0)

Damian is Bruce’s one and only biological child -of the main canon- and therefore does not need to be adopted because you don’t need to adopt your own child

And that’s all of Bruce’s official and unofficial children in the main canon!💕🖤

[michelle-jacksons-art-blog]

To be loved is to be changed.

[explodingstarlight]

there's nothing to see here (lying)

@snailsnaps fic “Alpha Stage” single-handedly reawakened my muse

[inspiration meme/tweet below the line 👇]

I saw this and I just HAD to redraw it for this AU-- you can count it as my prediction for chapter 3 if ya want ahdhjdjk

And here's a close-up on the main art as well (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"

stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office

[moeblob]

@tinycurlyfry

hey hello hi please enjoy Awakening and GL o7 (take a Frederick doodle I'm v rusty but hope it's ok)

[mikakuna]

Hi! :) I realized turnabout is fair play so this is me asking for any jason fic recs you might have for me.

Have a wonderful weekend! 💕

hey, yeah of course!! this list is gonna be mainly angst and whump, with some fluff! check the tags of each fic so you don't end up reading something you don't want to see!

__________★˙⋆

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54591685

Jason struggles with expectation and reality; what Superman had been for Dick, what he could have been for Jason, and the nothing that he ultimately was.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54688366

Jason finds the younger Arkham Knight version of himself held captive by the Joker below Arkham.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1328723

basically a series where jason escapes an abusive relationship and meets roy (protective batfam!! and small jason bc no capes au)

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2962401

a series of stories within the same time line, exploring jason's history as a victim of human trafficking and child sexplotiation

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53281042

an exploration of jason's parental figures

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54121165

Jason falls. Of course, he falls. Bruce wasn’t holding onto him. (a fic that delves into jason's expectations of bruce as a parent and how he struggles to prove his worth as bruce's new child)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15320190

an exploration of jason and dick's brotherhood:

Following his disastrous confrontation with Jason in New York, Dick can't get the note Jason sent him upon leaving out of his head. He talks it over with his psychiatrist friend Clancy and comes to a horrifying realization: it's not emotional manipulation. It's Jason trying to cash in on a promise Dick made to him long ago. A promise to always be there for his little brother.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52453172

roy's perspective of jason's relationship with the bats

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53536696

bruce, during and directly after jason's death (gore warning but also ABSOLUTELY heartbreaking omg)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33947401/chapters/84421471

Bruce is racing across Ethiopia to save his son. Bruce is fighting in the Batcave to stop his son. Bruce is 34 years old. Bruce is 39 years old. Then Bruce is looking at ...Bruce. Uh oh.

(a time travel fic where bruce and jason, on the day of his death, find themselves in front of bruce and jason from five years in the future)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820559

married jaykyle wherein kyle has some words for bruce after the events of rhato 25

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23062525

cute jason/joseph wilson multi-chapter fic where jason is also mute (from the batarang) and he learns what love is

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46774495

Jason survives Ethiopia and returns home; this is the beginning.

(GENUINELY DEVASTATING like i cried omg.. i won't spoil anything but definitely read!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38173990

Batman finds and apprehends the Red Hood after he attempts to murder the Joker, then surrenders him to the mental health facilities of Arkham Asylum. This is the best way to prevent more deaths, and it's also in the best interest of the Red Hood, who is clearly unstable.

Insane criminals cannot be permitted to walk the streets of Gotham. Certainly not ones raised by the Batman. Not under any circumstances.

(disturbing content; jason is abused at the hands of the staff in arkham asylum and is in a state of overmedication throughout the entire fic, amazing fic but read the warning tags carefully!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45156520

a fic in which jason has dissociative identity disorder

˙⋆★__________

[itsamenickname]

The perfect family 💚🧡💛💚🧡💛

[orobty]

HA HA! The rise cyoa clue game that I've been mentioning in tags for forever is finally here!!

Plotting everything out took a bit but I think I got most of the possibilities written out although I wouldn't put it past you guys to do something wild lol

So part of the way this works is that there'll be more options the more you've spoken to people but some people will only have a few options naturally! I tried to keep it in character and some of them just wouldn't lie/are very very bad at it, so ya get what ya get, hope you guys have fun!! (And feel free to send asks with theories and/or praise I accept both <3)

[mandiemegatron]

Awwww your Story about Killer is so cute 🥰😍 can I request another one? Would be awesome to read a story where the reader starts helping Killer in the kitchen and realizes how much he's doing for the crew and how gentle and soft he is inside. And then they get closer while cooking ❤️

Hello my darling, sweet anon !!

Firstly, thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this and Secondly, please forgive me as this is a shorter one as I lost the original file for this and had to start all over. I remembered what I could but it's much shorter than i originally planned BUT ! It is sweet Killer loving times regardless, so I hope you enjoy either way ! All the good things under the cut to keep this post short for my fellow mobile friends 💖

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥

𝙆𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙂/𝙉 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙍𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙: 𝙂 !! 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩, 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛.

ᴹᴰᴺᴵ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃⁿʸᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ˡᵃᵇᵉˡᵉᵈ ¹⁸+, ʸᵒᵘ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵇˡᵒᶜᵏᵉᵈ ᵒⁿ ˢⁱᵍʰᵗ.

Thank you again anon, and I hope you enjoy ! 💖💖💖

My beta was busy unfortunately so i had to do it myself, if you see any mistakes, I'm sorry, I'm sick with the flu so blame that 😭😭😂😂

Fitting in on the Victoria Punk was somehow an easy task for you.

Always being the one to say “Yep, no problem!” to any task handed to you was one of the many reasons everyone adored you; The other was the absolutely delicious food you and Killer always managed to create and feed to the crew.

“And just a small dash of oregano…”

You watched Killer with concentrated eyes, only taking them from him and his favourite dish to smile widely up at his masked visage as he stirred the sauce boiling away in the pot.

“... and voila! The perfect spaghetti sauce.”

He gently pooled some of the sauce into a small spoon, blowing onto it through the holes in his mask as best he could before holding the spoon out for you.

You went to grab the spoon when he pulled it away, knowing he hid a cheeky look under that mask as he gave a soft “tsk,” before holding it back out to you.

You rolled your eyes playfully before taking the sauce into your mouth, humming in content as the array of flavors hit your tastebuds.

“Amazing,” you gushed as he pulled the spoon away to toss into the sink nearby. His chest puffed a bit at your praise, which you noticed immediately, a knowing smirk resting on your lips as you commented jokingly,

“You know, I really thought you were never going to show me how to make this.”

Killers head turned to you, tilted slightly as he asked genuinely,

“Really? Why so?”

You gave a small shrug, unable to meet his masked gaze as you looked out one of the large windows overlooking the Victoria.

“I'm not sure why, just felt that maybe because it's so important to you that you'd want to keep it safeguarded from everyone or something.”

Killer was silent for a moment before he went back to stirring. Once he was happy with the consistency and temperature, he turned off the stove and turned back to you, lifting your chin in one of his massive hands as he finally replied,

“It is important to me.”

Your eyes slowly rose from his chest to his mask, trying to decipher any hidden emotions behind it but found nothing.

“You are also important to me. Why would I not share this with you?”

Your heart raced at his words, your stomach churning with butterflies as your cheeks burned a dark pink.

“... oh!” Was all you could get out, truly shocked by his words.

He chuckled in reply, shaking your face slightly in his grasp before he bent down to press a masked kiss to your forehead.

“Stop thinking so little of yourself. You're incredibly important to me, and to this crew.”

He pulled back to press his mask against the tip of your nose, as if trying to press his own against yours as he murmured softly,

“I love sharing with you, and I love spending time with you, no matter what we do.”

You can't help but lean up slightly to press your lips against his mask, ignoring the small sound of surprise that leaves him as you reply,

“And I love doing things with you, especially the things you love to do.”

Your eyes stared right through the pirate, the man feeling almost naked under your gaze as you continued,

“And I love that you shared something so important with me. Thank you, Kil.”

He hums in response, clearly pleased with your words as he presses his mask to your lips again, holding you in place for a few moments before pulling away and turning back to the stove.

You notice his discreet motions of adjusting himself below before he clears his throat and gets out in a slightly higher voice,

“Let's feed some hungry men, shall we?!”

He picks up the pot and walks right past you, ignoring the chuckles from you but stops as you nearly purr at him,

“Maybe later, I can show you some of my own important things…?”

He stops right at the door out to the main eating area and slowly turns his head, staring you down as he thickly replies,

“... Don't tempt me.”

He stalks off with heavy feet before you can reply, the sound of your laughter echoing after him.

You chewed your bottom lip with a grin, thinking about the many, many things you could teach him before you picked up the other pot containing the noodles and walked after him, unable to wipe the wide grin off your face.

[daz4i]

i think this is the most genuine emotion we've seen from nikolai ever. and the fact he seems unsure about how he's feeling, how it's seemingly contradicting, imo works really well with his character

he's all about saying things that contradict each other and imo, there is always some truth to both sides of what he says

so. here. i think some part of him was happy to be free of his only bond... but then it got overtaken with the part of him that realizes this bond wasn't. like. as constricting as he first thought

it seems that at the end of it all he somehow even WANTED to get that bond running deeper. imo, it was to feed both sides of him - the side that wants to be free can't actually prove his free will if they weren't that close in the first place, they barely interacted before, it's almost like killing any other person. on the other hand, he also genuinely likes fyodor and wants to be closer bc well. he is "perfectly sane". he is, underneath it all, still a person deep down, as much as he might hate that.

when fyodor threatens to take him out in the future he doesn't seem scared, but he also doesn't seem particularly excited i think? (or maybe that's just how he expresses his genuine, non-performative excitement, who knows.) at the same time, he also doesn't seem to want to kill him now, to follow him, like he's keeping it for that new game he was just promised

but then fyodor dies. and he won't get a chance to play it. and in a way, that takes from his freedom too, isn't it? his freedom to choose how his bond with fyodor will be. in a way, fyodor dying took away from his free will.

i truly believe nikolai is. maybe not selfish but certainly self-centered or self-serving enough to be sad over, and forgive me for this analogy, his toy getting broken. I'm certain he's also genuinely sad about his only friend dying, and so gruesomely too, but i wouldn't be surprised if at his core this is what makes him this sad. and i think that also leads to his conflicting emotions about fyodor's death

i also think that thing dazai pointed out about fyodor's lack of trust plays a part in nikolai's grief here. to him, fyodor is the only one who understood him, the only one who made him feel seen, and as far as we know the only person who was important to him. but he probably knew the feeling wasn't mutual. still, this was the nail in the coffin, confirming fyodor never saw him as a friend as well, not even as an ally.

i don't have an actual conclusion here, just speculation on nikolai's internal turmoil and how he might feel now. i really hope (and expect) we will see him again, and i wonder if this event will change anything about him.

i speculated in the past that his eye cover is a symbol of his bond with fyodor. and today, he took it off after fyodor died. i wonder, if the next time we see nikolai, he will still wear it or not (or possibly wear a new one). i guess we'll see!

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

i switched back from androgel to testosterone injections after 2 years and im having a male puberty crisis over gabriel and this blog isnt helping. thank you (genuine)

oh you are in special type of hell, good luck soldier 🫡

stay strong and try to stay sane

[witchqueen]

Does anyone have any tips to help stop yourself from comparing your artwork to others, or equating your value as an artist with likes and reblogs?

I've struggled with this for a while and it's getting old, I don't know how to just shrug it off. Any genuine advice would be nice

[bluebowser]

Tribute to Episode 8 of Bocchi, this was the episode that fully lodged this series & this character right into my heart. Rock on forever, Bocchi. 🤟