#hope you liked this nolan!!!

[diazsdimples]

hey james! for buddie or bucktommy. i’m making you choose jsdjskf “why are you looking at me like that?”

Hey Nolan!! I'm gonna do Bucktommy for this one, if you don't mind!!

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tommy asks as he once again catches Buck staring. Buck flushes deeply, a pretty pink running up his neck and into his cheeks until he feels like his whole face is on fire. Never before has he been with someone so skilled at reducing him to a giggly, blushing mess like Tommy can. It's like Tommy has a direct line to the "Idiot Centre" in Buck's brain and can activate it with a simple look or a few well timed words. "I-I'm just - I mean, I wasn't - looking at you like what?" Buck stammers. Honestly, he's got no excuse for the way he was gazing at Tommy, all lovesick and dopey like a highschool girl. His boyfriend is hot and he's still a giddy that Tommy's with him at all. So he stares at him sometimes? Sue him! Tommy grins, his nose scrunching in a way that has Buck's stomach go all fluttery, and he rounds the kitchen island so he's no more than a couple of inches away from Buck. Close enough to have Buck's heart rate going up a couple of notches, but still too far. He needs him close, needs to be able to feel Tommy's chest press against his as he breathes, needs to feel Tommy's lips brush his as he speaks, needs to feel Tommy's co- Okay yeah, he's getting a little carried away. It's not his fault. "You were looking at me the way a 2000's teen girl would have looked at Justin Bieber whenever he flicked his hair," Tommy teases, and Buck wishes a hole would open underneath him and swallow him up. "I was just-" he begins, going redder still when Tommy crosses his arms and watches him with a half-smirk, his head cocked to the side. He looks far too adorable for his own good and it's not helping Buck's dilemma at all. "You're cute," he finishes lamely, unable to meet Tommy's eyes because he just knows Tommy is going to be looking at him with that soft, amused look on his face, like watching Buck bumble and ramble his way through their relationship is his favourite pastime - which, it probably is. "I'm cute," Tommy repeats, and Buck can hear the delight his voice. It's mortifying. It's humiliating. He's going to run away and live in the forest and become a hermit and - Suddenly Tommy's lips are on his and oh, yeah that's okay then, Buck can go with this. Buck can definitely get behind kissing Tommy if it means he doesn't talk and make even more of a fool of himself. Plus, Tommy's got this way of completely taking Buck apart with his lips, kissing him so thoroughly that he forgets his own name, forgets every little detail about himself except that he's kissing Tommy. Tommy pulls away and Buck pants, a little breathless from the kiss. Their foreheads rest against one another and their breaths mingle, warm and heavy and full of affection between them. "Well the good news is," Tommy says, his voice husky enough that it sends little shivers of joy down Buck's spine, "I think you're cute too." What else is Buck meant to do than blush once again?

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!

[frogchiro]

im super curious on which of the men do you think would be more than overjoyed to be tied naked to their bed, legs and arms spread, as reader grinds on his cock through lace panties or as she teases and teases him by letting her wetness drip down his cock to his balls as she rubs her clit over him? or by only putting the tip of his tip inside of her before reader bucks up, leaving his cock high and dry? the man growling, pulling on his restraints and bucking his hips higher and stronger to just get at least the full tip wet to at least feel reader's soaking pussy all around him. so so close to cumming all over her pussy he just needs her touch. desperate and hard whilst reader giggles so sweetly, continuing to moan as she reaches her fifth orgasm on and over him

very VERY unsure if you're comfortable with writing for an ask like this (more dominant female reader, teasing, restraints) so ofc if you're not comfortable, there's absolutely no stress!! much love <333

Oh my jesus nonnie I love you for this ;; I love dominant reader!! Her domming the usually cocky and overly confident big 'n scary military men and bringing them down a peg is my bread and butter. Also putting this under the cut since it turned out to be much longer than I intended ;;

For this one particular scenario I have a few candidates:

König who is this huge, unhinged killer machine, used literally as a human battering ram due to his size and strength and whom people generally tend to avoid due to his 'strange' jittery behavior. His blue eyes crinkle through his mask with boyish joy when he kills, sometimes even letting out an eerily high pitched giggle which off-puts people even more, not to mention he can be a hug dick when it comes to interactions with others; he's either awkward as hell or downright condescending and degrading with his arrogance.

However when it comes to you? The cute new hackergirl KorTac found and dragged in? He's a mess :(( He decided then and there thst he wanted you and would woo you and judging by the awkward fidgeting and shy glances at the older men around you, you'd be easy prey for him...Well until it was him, König, who ended up tied to his bed, moaning and yowling in pain and frustration as you continued to tease him, torture him really as he saw it, with that cute perfect giggle of yours as you continued to slowly jerk his fat cock, cum spurting from his swollen tip and his balls squeezing painfully because they needed to be emptied in the pretty female in front of him :(( It's been so so long, he wanted to claim you but it turned out that it was you who claimed him.

He'd try growling, snarling and even begging for you to please just put the tip inside, please fucking sit down and let him make you feel good but you just giggle at him before moving up and slipping his aching tip from your wet pussy for what felt like the 100th time making poor König whine and buck pathetically up, searching your heat </3

Next one is Simon Riley, but particularly Sleazy Neighbour!Simon. When he finally whined and 'wooed' you enough for you to finally have sex with him for the first time he was over the moon, a nasty smirk on his lips, elated that he finally will get to fuck and claim you all for himself, the first step at making you his wife after all!

What he didn't expect was for you to tie him down with his bulky arms straining against the biding at the headboard, his lengthy cock hard as a rock and leaking on his tummy as you slide your wet cunt all over but not putting it inside :(( It's driving the large male wild!! He was supposed to fuck you into oblivion, make you all whiny and teary, begging him to slow down as he bred you and called you his bitch but as it turned out, it's him who's the bitch now :(

You're having the time of your life, moaning and giggling at the blonde's misery as you slide your pussy against his swollen dick, the copious amount of your slick making the slide much easier and you get first class seat to watch your awful sleazy neighbour get what he deserves for bullying you and not letting him slip inside you <3

The last one is Andrei Nolan and this is something I also discussed with @justadeadreaper on him edging himself and begging you for your permission to cum which I think about expanding on in a different post <3

He both loves and hates this; this feeling of helplessness ad slight humiliation of being such a big and strong man but getting tied down to your shared bed and letting his girl edge him :(( Sounds so pretty toom his normally smooth and deep voice gaining a certain edge to it, deep rumbling moans showing his pleasure and the occasional hitch in his voice and a higher moan indicating that he's close to cumming if the sudden larger amount of sperm leaking from his red dick like a faucet didn't betray him first.

Growls and bares his teeth, gnashing them at your sweet giggle that hides all the evil intentions in your voice, asking him dumb innocent questions like 'Are you close Dyushka? Do you want to cum~?' Of course he fucking wants to cum! He wants to sit you on his fucking cock, slam it deep inside you until he feels your poor cervix and wants to fill you up until you're whining at him and leaking his seed for days but no, instead he's stuck like this, at your mercy as you continue to jerk him off, occasionally in a gesture of cruel mercy you lift yourself up and tease his achy tip at your cunt, rubbing it from your clit down to your hole where you circle it a few times, threatening to slip it in for a few agonizing seconds before letting out a breathy giggle and pulling him out again only to return to edging him with that sweet smile of yours. You're a cruel, cruel woman </3

[cautiously0ptimistic]

No god, no religion, Just bad, bad decisions.

[makeitastrength]

One thing I'm noticing in some of the fandom reactions to this breakup and the aftermath is that the characters have been put on a pedestal and are being judged against some pretty unrealistic standards. They get raked over the coals for every single mistake. I've seen it with both characters but recently I've seen it the most with Tim.

Don't get me wrong, in no way am I condoning his current behavior. He's made multiple mistakes and he's broken Lucy's trust and her heart. He absolutely needs to be held accountable for all of these things and he owes her an apology and that adult conversation and a whole lot more if they're gonna be able to be together again.

But what he's doing right now, his imperfect actions as he navigates this period of his life... it's very human. This is a man who is at rock bottom, and when you're drowning in the weight of your own trauma like he is, you often don't have the strength to see beyond that and understand how your actions are impacting the people around you. He's not being cruel (which, by the way, implies intentionality to one's actions) by breaking up with her or denying her that conversation. He's drowning.

He truly can't see that she's *not* better off without him. He can't see how much he's hurt her, and that he continues to hurt her with his actions. I don't even think he could answer her questions right now about why he did what he did, because he doesn't fully understand it himself. He can't see anything beyond his own lack of self-worth. Right now, expecting him to be able to fully comprehend what he's done and why is completely unrealistic.

Now, does this excuse his behavior? Absolutely not. But it does explain it.

And the thing that's bothering me the most is the posts saying Tim doesn't deserve Lucy's forgiveness. This is a man who has completely fallen apart but is finally taking the first steps toward healing. Shouldn't he be given a chance at redemption before being written off as unforgivable? And shouldn't Lucy be the one to decide whether to forgive him?

Again, I'm not defending his actions. He has a lot of work to do on himself and he has a lot of work to do to gain back Lucy's trust. It's not going to be easy. But to say he doesn't deserve forgiveness without even giving him a chance? That's pretty harsh. He doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being defined by his worst moments. No one does.

[tv1xx]

Father-Son conversations 🥰❤️ (guys I swear this pains me to even do this)

[roguecanoe]

Clothes (I think) Nolan would wear.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 219 (or, The One That Went to the Top of My Favorites List)

Hehehe is that an enticing enough, non-spoiler preview for you? lol I want so badly to tell everyone WHY they should be sure to FP this episode, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Not that I think knowing what’s in there will ruin it, but I think the impact of going into it without knowing is just SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL. It’s BEAUTIFUL okay? That’s why you should read it - it’s beautiful! 

Idk where to begin with this one!!!! Over 24 hours later, sorting out my emotions is still difficult because I just keep wanting to climb the walls and start shrieking lmao AAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Those of us who are patrons of quimchee’s got a little teaser for this episode - the first part was SUPPOSED to post with 218, and quimchee said that 213-219 are all supposed to be parts of one much, MUCH bigger episode, so you know, if you want to read them all together, there you go! But anyway, even getting a little teaser of it last week, this episode was still full of so much new, and even what we got to see still hit just as strong. UGH. LISTEN. 

When the music hit me and I realized what it was? As we kept scrolling and Shinae furtively snuck back in? I CRIED okay lmao I CRIED. How long has it been since Nol last celebrated his birthday? When was the last time someone made him feel special on this day? Because he sure hasn’t allowed himself to. He hasn’t spent a birthday with friends - I mean, hell, this is the first time he’s even HAD friends who mean anything - and after everything they’ve gone through, everything he put them through, to see them show up just meant SO MUCH to me. I had no doubts that Dieter and Soushi would come through for Nol, but I didn’t think we’d get to see it so soon, either. I was so concerned that there’d been no time for them to talk at the party, that Soushi’s first indication that Nol was even there at all was seeing him fall into a glass table! Finding him bleeding out in the snow. 

How harrowing it must have been for them - at least Shinae has gotten to talk to him a little, has a little more insight into who he is, why he did what he did. I’m sure, in time, Dieter and Soushi will come up to speed, whether through Shinae or Nol himself, but even now, even with them NOT knowing or understanding, I think it makes it even more special that they showed up. Nol has been there when they needed him, whether they wanted it or not. He always had their backs, had a way of making them feel like they were special, like they matter. And now they all got to do the same for him, to return that favor. As readers, we know that Nol began those relationships with no real intentions, never intending those friendships to become real, but they did, both ways. There was something about Soushi’s commentary that really did me in - about how he doesn’t have bullies coming around anymore and even if he did, he’s got a buddy whose got his back ;~; How he went from wanting to take help from no one to coming around to the weirdly insistent boy. 

I love, LOVE, LOVE how all of their gifts related to the beginnings of their relationships. Again, it’s something about how it began on false pretenses, but how it became real and came to mean something to all of them that just really gets to me! I don’t know how to articulate it, the feeling of these people who desperately needed someone, being able to be that to Nol, that even though he’s tried to push them away, to run away, even though they have no explanation for his behavior, they still are there for him when he desperately needs it. I kept waffling for a long time on whether I thought Nol was intending to ghost everyone after prison, going back and forth even as he and Shinae talked in Minhyuk’s room. “Is he telling her this because he doesn’t plan to stick around?” But especially after all of these hospital scenes, I feel pretty confident that’s not his plan. Just like Soushi and Shinae never really intended to accept Nol’s friendship and thought they were fine on their own, I think Nol may be having that moment for himself.

Or, rather, I think he’s at a crossroads and is at war with himself. On the one hand, he doesn’t believe he deserves any of this. The way he talks about his birthday is so SAD; Shinae is right, people don’t talk like that! Was it a difficult pregnancy that Nessa had with Nol? Did his birth cause her harm? Is it just the circumstances he feels guilty for? Maybe he believes she’d be okay if she’d never conceived him? Maybe it’s because of his relation to the Hiraharas? He talks about people stepping on the burger - that definitely feels like it’s about the Hirahraras, taking his existence and making him feel insignificant and wrong, like he shouldn’t exist. But it’s the way he talks about the mistreatment of the cow sent to the slaughterhouse. It sounds like that’s about his mom - which could be the most he’s ever said about her. If his birthday is the burger, then the cow that became the burger would be her, right? I still have so many questions, ngl. Nol clearly has a complicated relationship with the memory of his mother - we know his childhood, before they left home, were his happiest memories, but at the same time, he can’t speak of the happy memories, or really, her at all. I don’t think the guilt is simply that he exists, and there’s more to it, whether it’s misconstrued on his behalf or just more puzzle pieces we’re missing. 

At any rate, Nol carries a heavy weight of guilt and has denied himself any joy or happiness, has never allowed himself to ENJOY things, lest they go awry. Probably like with his mom, and like with Shinae, a connection with him seems to end in danger. Of course, that’s not true - people end up in danger because of their own choices, and the choices of those around them - but again, we are talking about the way Nol views himself and the world. I think this is a big thing, too, because I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and perception lately, but I’ll try to get to that in a moment. 

For so long, Nol has been content with his self-inflicted punishment, but then he accidentally made real friends along the way. His quest to help people went off track. And for a while, he tried to fix that. He pulled away, he stopped responding, he tried to completely and cleanly cut them off, he drew the line and let them know. But here they still stand after it all, and he can’t help but appreciate that. The way my stupid heart flipped when he hugged Dieter and Soushi and told him he loved him. That feels like the most genuine expression we’ve seen on him in a long time - and for him to be so forthright with them, to even use that word at all! This is what makes me feel certain he doesn’t intend to ghost them. Why would he tell them that if he planned to leave? Why would he accept and embrace their friendship if he didn’t want it? And that’s the thing, isn’t it? His internal war is his wants vs what he thinks he deserves. It’s the fear that he brings harm to people, but that DESPERATE LONGING for that closeness. 

Throughout ILY we’ve seen so many times Nol wanted to reach out and denied himself the opportunity, for whatever reason. Countless times he’s reached out to Shinae only to close his hand into a fist and restrain himself. All that loneliness is haunting. I think it’s around the time they went to the arcade that Nol knew these relationships were real, and it was the arrival of Yui that reminded him he can’t do this, he can’t let his guard down, he can’t indulge his desires like this. To have that taste for friendship, for what it feels like to just let go, to be around people who don’t spend all their time trying to tear you apart, to be around people who CHOOSE your company, who CHOOSE to be with you? And then to retreat? He tasted something so sweet but had to give it up.

And now, after everything he’s done, they still show up for him, they still sat by and watched over him, they still came to CELEBRATE him? How can he continue to deny himself this? How can he close his fist and walk away from it? 

But, and my god I realize this is a very verbose point lmao, the point I’m getting at is, in the same way that Soushi and Shinae refused his friendship, in the same way that they thought they were better off on their own, I think Nol is at that same crossroad - is he better off alone? How bad is it, if he indulges just a little? 

I hope he thinks long and hard about what Shinae said very early in the evening, too. Whether or not he believes he puts people in danger, it’s not his call to make. Friendship is a two-way road and they, also, deserve to make their choice, to choose him despite the danger. It wasn’t Nol that put Shinae in danger. Maybe in a convoluted way you could say so - she’d never have called on Kousuke for that favor he owed her for getting Nol to the hospital the night of the masquerade - but regardless, Yui acts on her own. I realize this is not easy for Nol to see, because of what a deep-seated belief this is, but I hope it’s something he’ll consider more and more. 

There’s so much I could write about the birthday party ALONE. How wonderful it was to see them all together again after all this time, the sweet callbacks to their beginnings demonstrating how far they’ve come, how much they mean to each other. Nol is SO loved, and I hope he learns to wear that love as a much needed suit of armor. What does it matter that his family is trash, when this, his found family, makes up for it in so many ways? What does it matter that some people chose to make him feel insignificant, when he has people who choose to celebrate him, and the fact that he’s in their lives? ;~; That little happy smile and blush he wears when Shinae pointedly tells him they want to spend this night making him feel special ;~; It fucks me up lmao like lakjfkjafkjaf I’M GETTING WEEPY WRITING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN LMAO 

NOL DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED. HE DESERVES TO FEEL SPECIAL. He came into their lives and individually made them all better. There’s an argument to be made that it was Kousuke’s financing that made Soushi’s life better, but we know that HE chooses Nol. That his companionship with Nol makes his life better. If not for Nol, where would they even be? He deserves to be celebrated because he’s brought so much good into other lives! And he deserves a return of that, too. All the good he tried to put into the world to counter the guilt he wears, all the good he denied himself and thus brought to others. GOD. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ;~; I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THIS GANG I hope in the future we get to see more of them, now that we know how close their bond is, how much they mean to each other ;~; 

DIETER’S ORIGAMI DUCKIES AND THE LITTLE BIRTHDAY MESSAGES! THE CALLBACK TO NOL AND THEIR MORNING RUNS AND THE STILLNESS OF THE WATER AND THE DUCKIES ;~; Apologizing that these aren’t the best presents, that there’s no cake, but aren’t they? Isn’t this the best? There’s something about people spending their time and energy to create something for you that REALLY gets to me. Every time a friend hand-makes something for me, I just cry and cry lmao. Maybe origami duckies and happy birtday on a cake isn’t a lot of effort - but the point is that they TRIED. That at the last minute, they came up with something to try to return the kind of friend he’s been to them. They ARE the perfect gifts. What else could he possibly need more than to know that he is important to them and means so much? 

AND THAT WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT SHINAE, THE WAY SHE QUICKLY LOOKS AWAY, THE FLUSTERING, THE LITTLE BUTTERFLIES WE FEEL ON HER BEHALF!!!!! AUGH. 

I find it so cute and funny that Shinae was too shy to give Nol her gift at the same time, feeling that it paled in comparison to Dieter’s duckies, but personally, I think it’s right on par. Just like their messages, Shinae’s gift harkens back to the earliest days of her friendship with Nol, the orange soda she spilled on him, the fear he’s allergic to oranges lol, what she drew on his face the day following at that deli lol “You don’t suck that much” All the way back in episode 4, she told him “You’re a human first. And humans suck.” WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!!!!! Idk like, to me here gift was so on par, but also, it’s something that conveys a sense of feelings and being who she is, I don’t blame her for feeling a little shy about it.

ESPECIALLY COS MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH SHYNESS IN THIS EPISODE MY GOD!!!!!!!! 

It’s been long established that I am here for the soft shit, the tender shit, for little stolen moments laced with intimacy, stolen little moments of calm in an otherwise turbulent storm. IT’S MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Dieter and Soushi on the spare bed in the room, while Shinae lays her head again on Nol’s bed, the both of them refusing to sleep. Shinae probably fears that he’ll disappear if she sleeps, that he’ll slip through her fingers; Nol probably worries that when he wakes this will be over, the calm, the good feelings. There’s something so TENDER about them trying to delay the inevitable, to stretch the last remining time. And, again, with Dieter and Soushi sleeping (god I hope Dieter is sleeping), everything that follows just feels again like a little stolen moment, just like every other moment they share together. 

The shift in Nol and Shinae’s relationship dynamic is practically palpable. How many times has she gotten flustered over his gaze this night? How many times has she been unable to hold that gaze?! I’m a sucker for this! There’s likely a number of reasons that have brought this reaction out of it. It reminds me a lot of episodes 117 and 118 with the nugget crushing hand holding and the shared music moment - how Shinae marveled over her hands afterward, how she had to go lmao hold Minhyuk’s hand to feel it out. That, and the little flashback snippet of Nol doing her make up at the formal seem to be the times that Shinae has been most affected by Nol, and I think in a lot of ways they resonate with the version of him she knows now. But that’s the other thing. She knows more than Dieter and Soushi do and through that, she’s aware of that significance and I think it’s absolutely affected her. They’ve been so incredibly vulnerable with each other all evening - Shinae being so uncharacteristic and saying so many heartfelt, sentimental things in effort to reach Nol, sharing her story about middle school, the reveal about Alyssa, the little things he’s let slip about his family dynamic. Shinae is already seeing him in a new light, and so much of it is just raw and she’s yet to have a moment to really sit down and take in everything. But also, the GLANCES, his INTENSE expressions. 

I was talking to someone on reddit about this but the thing is - this isn’t Shinae’s first meeting with Nol like this. In so many of their shared moments, this is the person he’s been, letting down his goofy mask, talking seriously with her. The break in at her apartment, the phone call after his family dinner, the scene at the wac, the breakdown on the hospital terrace, the time he gave her his extra taco. Though not as raw as this Nol, the edges softened and blurred more than he is now, she’s come face to face with this iteration of him. It’s the intensity that is so new. And lmao that intensity is what makes him so alike Rand, who made Shinae quiver LMAOOOOOO it’s so funny that this is finally catching up to her, that their appearance is finally frazzling her. But I think it’s a culmination of all of this. There’s an awareness at the tip of her tongue that she’s yet to voice, yet to confront, but she’s certainly acting on it. The stolen glances, the flustered glances away, the way she is so WHOLLY affected. 

It’s only just earlier this week, as far as the timeline goes, that Shiane realized HOW important Nol is to her, HOW scared she is of losing him, how much he means to her. Dieter used the l-word! It’s not a casual friendship. And his significance to her seems to dance along the border between platonic and romance - you can be significant to someone without it being romantic, you can be a person someone doesn’t want to lose without it being romantic. But SHE has to find that significance, she has to figure that out. All this shyness and flustering - is it the newness of this side of Nol, of all this vulnerability shared between them, or is it something more in the ways they bring comfort to each other, the ways they seem to stabilize each others’ world. I don’t think we’ve seen it demonstrated as strongly as we have with Nol, how Shinae’s presence and can center Nol and root him in the present, but I think we’ve seen a few instances of Nol being the same for her. 

This is one of those things about love and romance and friendship that fascinates me. At what point IS it romance? At what point does that friendship turn into “I want more of this I need more of this”? You can receive comfort from so many people, so at what point does it become something romantic?

And I think that’s what Shinae and Nol are toeing. Nol, certainly, is becoming more aware of that affect she has on him, the way she roots him to the present, the way she brings him much needed peace. Does Shinae realize yet the way she seeks him out? Does she realize how much peace she’s also gotten from him? 

And it seems so mutual, the way Nol gives in and indulges in the peace, the way he initiates these little moments of physicality. And it could absolutely be nothing, it could absolutely be just a casual touch amongst friends, except it’s them, and she’s flustered and looking away, and the butterflies seem to dance off the page. It’s the way he looks from her gift, loaded with what began their friendship what brought them into each other’s lives, and looks over at her trying to drown out his reaction, too embarrassed (TOO SHY!!!!!!) to see, that eyeless frame (QUIMCHEE DOES THIS SO MUCH! SO OFTEN! WHEN SHIELDING NOL’S FEELINGS!!!!!!) when he reaches over with his fingers in her hair.

HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT. HE COULD JUST TAP HER SHOULDER. HE COULD JUST SCOOT NEARER. BUT HE DOESN’T. IT’S HIS FINGERS IN HER HAIR, NEAR THE SCAR THAT PUT HER INTO DEFENSE MODE except she’s not, and he’s there, and she can’t look directly at him and he moves in close and it’s so INTIMATE it’s so TENDER it’s like the earbuds sharing moment except somehow even MORE because now she’s aware, NOW the fluttering is there, the stolen glances, the close proximity, the way he relaxes when he’s close to her, the way he is being so much MORE than he’s been before. 

His tapping finger and that coy, flirty, finger dancing?! The way she glances away as her finger dances towards him, on some level aware of what it means what it is a little too shy too coy, he way he hesitantly joins in and it’s something so SILLY so GOOFY such a light, light moment and GOD it’s beautifully done? You can FEEL the flirtiness of it, you can FEEL the little butterflies, the shyness and hesitation. The way Nol’s smile fades and he becomes serious before his finger hooks around hers, the way she thinks he’s playing until she, too, realizes, he’s not UGH. /UGH/ I SCREAM!!!!!!! How is it that a single finger hooked around another makes me scale the walls like this?! It’s such a small thing, but it’s so BOLD, initiating a dance even though he must be in pain! His back?! His body?! He’s not even on morphine ;~; He’s just. ENDURING IT. 

And idk, I never know what’s going through his mind. The dance she offered him that they never got to share. Something more significant than fingers dancing, something that means MORE. 

And again, that’s the thing. I think he’s so at war with himself. He’s still calling her Yoo, but he’s touching and so close and initiating that dance and he can tell himself it doesn’t mean anything, but he already knows. He already figured that out last episode. Soon he’ll be gone and he’ll be away from the people he loves, all alone again, and he’s scared to go. He still can’t bring himself to use her name, he can’t be so familiar with her - and yet is this not a more familiar way of being? I feel like part of is is that feeling of how fleeting this moment is, wanting to capture as much of it as possible, finally acting on what he wants. All those times he’s reached out only to close his fist, and this time he isn’t hesitating, this time he isn’t denying himself. This is what he wants, so he goes for it. 

Will he regret it? I hope he’s far enough beyond his point of no return that he can’t. I hope he’s acting out of clarity that if this is the case, if this is how he feels, then why shouldn’t he allow himself this. Perhaps there’s fear that when he comes back it will all be different, that this will be a fleeting dream and everyone will move on without him. It feels like the cusp of a dream and reality, where you allow yourself to indulge because soon you return to the real world, to the waking nightmare of reality and this will be all you have left to carry with you. 

It feels even more likely when he crumbles when she mentions when he returns. Perhaps it could be that he DOES intend to never come back after he releases, but idk, I guess I’m just so hopeful that’s not the case? It could be a parallel to the hug in the rain, when she asked if any of it was real and he hugged her because it wasn’t until it was and he couldn’t bear to say so. But it also feels so much like he’s afraid. The way he buries his head in her shoulder, his face hidden so she can’t see his emotions, their hands still held at their side feels so much like he’s afraid and doesn’t want to say so, wants to put on a brave face but he can’t. “When he returns” because for a time he will be away and he just had the sweetest taste of calm and when he wakes up from this dream the waking nightmare resumes, he’ll again be all alone and it’s so much harder to go back to alone when you’ve had a taste for this, when you’ve indulged. How can he go back to before, how can he face this new stage alone? 

It’s such a sad little scene, the way they’re standing together, another dance interrupted, but at the same time, there��s something sweet. Very bittersweet, I guess. Maybe it’s just because he’s too weary and hasn’t had it in him to put up the walls again, but to see him, yet again, seeking that comfort in her, allowing himself something he once would have denied himself. Allowing himself to feel his feelings and to comfort himself. 

There’s just so much that is beautiful and painful about this episode. For this to be the first time he’s felt peaceful and calm and he nearly died in order to have this moment? The knowing that he will have to leave, that he’ll have to return to feeling small and insignificant, that he has to face a new fear when he goes to prison, when this little suspended moment in time is all over. While I personally think - or hope - we’ll get to see a positive transformation from Nol while he’s locked up, thanks to the counseling he’ll be going through, it’s still hard to watch him have to leave this. I don’t want to romanticize his sentence by any means lol but I do think being away from his family, away from the people who chip away at him and tear him down, can give him so peace to confront what he hasn’t been able to. I don’t think it will be a total transformation of any kind - just the necessary first steps. Nol needs to be away from the Hiraharas, and to learn to see the worth in himself. 

I mentioned this earlier in this post, but I’ve been thinking a LOT about perception of self, and how others see us. For instance, the version of me that I intimately know, that exists to me, doesn’t necessarily exist to others. Likewise, there are people who will see me in very different ways than I see myself, and it’s not that they don’t know me well, it’s just that we all are different people to everyone we know. We’re multifaceted and shaped by our experiences, but also by our actions and how we’ve affected the people with whom we interact. 

Nol sees himself as a villain, as a monster, as someone who needs to be punished. But that’s not the version of him that Shinae knows, or Dieter or Soushi, either. To them, he’s a hero, he’s someone who does good. Shinae described him as the sun and while I think that’s partly because of his bright smile and bubbly personality as Yeonggi, I think it’s also in the way that he can make things a little better for everyone. Nol has never been able to see himself the way others see him, though, because he’s so pre-occupied with the version of himself he knows, the one that’s been so heavily influenced by the Hiraharas. That he’s a mistake, that he shouldn’t exist, that everything would be better without him. And because he can’t see those versions of himself, he can’t see that it’s not true. Shinae certainly wouldn’t be better off without him, nor would Soushi or Dieter. BECAUSE he’s in their lives, they are better off. And that’s what he needs to learn to see, to reconcile with the version of him that exists. Because sure, that’s part of him. Maybe it’s not correct, but it’s a part of his identity. But so is the version of him that exists to his friends. So is the version of him that Nana loves. And obviously, it’s not so easy to wake up to those sides, because of how overwhelming this version of him is. But I hope that time away from the people who feed into that image, with some counseling might help him start to clear that away and better see himself for who he is, all the multitudes that he is. 

Because here’s the thing - people contain a range of good and bad, that’s what makes us human. Our choices ultimately define that, but so do our circumstances. This is why I can offer empathy towards characters like Kousuke and Alyssa who have made choices that we wouldn’t consider right, but make sense for their circumstances. Nol contains so much darkness, but he also contains so much light. Maybe he’s not as radiant as Yeonggi - but maybe it’s only because he hasn’t had the chance to be. Who could he be with a break from the people who tear him apart? Who could he be away from their influence? That’s what I’m keen to see, and that’s why I think he’s not intending to leave everyone after prison - or at least not GHOST people. Maybe he does need to get physically away, go to college abroad, but that doesn’t mean he’d be abandoning his friends this time. 

Nol’s real family sucks. But this family - his found family - they can bring him the joy and happiness he deserves, even before he thinks he deserves it. Again, maybe I’m just being really hopeful, but I just feel like this is a significant, defining moment for him, hopefully the beginning of him realizing he’s allowed to indulge, he’s allowed the same comfort he’s offered to others. 

Gosh what a tangent lol I know this post would be a mess. I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I have sooooooo many disorganized feelings seeing Nol like this, how sad I feel how happy I feel how much my stupid heart pitter patters over his interactions with Shinae. The callback to the dance at the formal where she was so uncomfortable (BUT NOW! NOW! SHE’S NOT!!!!!!) the teasing about her dancing, and he WILL miss her. HE’LL MISS HER! UGH /GOD/ 

But boy do I hope Dieter is fast asleep lmao ;~; I don’t think Shinae or Nol are ready to face what is unfolding, but Dieter reads them so well, he’s aware of things before they are. He knows what he is, for lack of better word “competing” against, and I think maybe he even knows it’s a losing battle. He made his move and she turned him down and I think he’s accepted her friendship with grace and delight - getting to know her better, getting to grow closer to her than he ever thought. And god, isn’t it painful to watch her and know that she seems to be drawn somewhere else, that it’s nothing you can do anything about? Because Dieter loves Nol, too. He probably understands how someone would be drawn to him at all! And while I think Dieter is a character who would handle things with grace, it would still hurt. I don’t think Shinae and Nol are a thing that, if they ever happen, would do so any time soon, and by that time I like to think Dieter would be over Shinae in that way, that they’d be close friends still, that they’d be people who root for each other and want the best for each other. But for him to have that awareness NOW, ugh the pain. He’s already taken note of the way she is with Nol vs how she is with him, the way she was so overwrought when they found out about all the secrets and lies, when they found her crying in the rain. 

I DON’T WANT HIM TO GO THROUGH THAT DAMNIT ;A; 

But we are definitely at this point where it’s a little too obvious to deny, a little too obvious to look away from. Any attempt at earning Shinae’s affection feels like you’re competing with something else. Even if she’s not ready to face it and admit it yet, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Whether or not it’s romantic or not is for her to decide, but for us as readers, we know that it’s something significant, that they have a mutual effect on each other that’s undeniable. There is so much trust shared between them now - despite it all, she trusts him, and he knows now that he can trust and rely on her, too. And as an outsider, it’s just obvious that something is there, however that something is defined. It’s not a stretch to say that Nol takes a priority, that she will at this point push things aside for him. 

Even romance aside, I think this is a dynamic we’ll be seeing a lot of going forward, because Nol still is not fast to open up to people and to rely on them. Trusting Shinae like this, letting her in to this more vulnerable side, I think defines a lot of their relationship to come as they evolve. Maybe Nol will leave and go abroad and maybe Shinae will date other people in that time, but I think we’ll see that Nol maintains a special place in her heart, that will be difficult for a lot of people to compare to. How do you compare to someone who has these experiences with her, who has developed a bond through these trials and tribulations lol? 

GOD. 

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I JUST. WANNA!!!!!!!! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[thebrainrotsreal]

@avisisisis started a wonderful, incredible fic for the Get Redeemed Loser AU (AKA Wasp trying to make Mark worse, Mark trying to make Wasp better, and they both wanna strangle each other than admit they’re the same person diff font), AND U SHOULD READ IT!!!!

[imperatorrrrr]

Nico Nolan but like a moving on fic (as Nolan unfollowed Nico on ig)

Nolan is about to soft launch his retirement or maybe its hard launch his retirement.

All he knows is that in a couple of days the hockey coaching and mentorship organization he's now working for, working with as a Skills Specialist is going to launch and the world is going to know he's a "retired pro".

He feels a little restless about it. He's putting a demonstrative end to his National Hockey League career. Closing not only that chapter, but basically shutting the book with a heavy lock and key, and tossing the book and the key into the ocean.

He needs to do something about it, but he doesn't know what. Some sort of ceremonial end. Maybe some pomp and circumstance. Something. Maybe he should grab a beer or something.

He settles for opening up Instagram for lack of anything better to do and the first thing he sees is Nico Hischier's stupid, perfect, face, standing there.

It's a fucking watch ad. Of course its a fucking watch ad.

Nolan's this close to chucking his phone away, but he stops himself, so maybe its not some big, official thing, but its symbolic as fuck.

He clicks through to Nico's profile, gives one final scroll through, stops at the picture of them at the 2017 Stanley Cup game, opens it up.

Sees himself. Sees himself when it was all about to begin. When anything could have happened. When the world was in front of him. Everything at his fingertips. And sees Nico standing next to him.

He zooms in on himself and Nico. Nico and Nolan. Nolan and Nico.

He catches himself staring, fondly, and clicks out of the picture, back to Nico's profile.

He scrolls back up to the top.

And sees this Nico. Nico Hischier, Captain of the New Jersey Devils. Nico Hischier, Frank J. Selke Trophy Finalist.

This isn't his Nico anymore. This hasn't been his Nico for a while now.

And he isn't that Nolan anymore. There's a whole new world in front of him and there's something different at his fingertips now.

He clicks "Following" and sees the "Unfollow" selection at he bottom of the screen.

He closes his eyes and sees Nico from the draft, baby faced, smiling wide at him, eyes crinkling, and this Nico of the past says "Do it, Patty."

And Nolan does it.

[dogwittaablog]

you know what’s so fucking ironic about this whole Nolan Patrick situation? He was supposed to be the golden boy for the flyers as in their future captain one day and the key to their ticket to the playoff finals one day. Travis konecny was just a player that had some potential for the flyers. And now Travis is shaping up to be the next great flyer and Nolan is retired. Life comes at you fast huh

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR REMINDERS, IM STILL TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE PAST 48 HOURS OF THESE SERIES OF EVENTS.

HES JUST OUT THERE SEEING HIS FRIEND/OLD TEAMMATE LIVE OUT HIS DREAMS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE FULLFILLED BY HIM.

[florasletter]

Q: I wanted to ask, Dunkirk is very unfamiliar typically to most american audiences, and I was wondering what that conversation was like with W.B. when you say like "yeah i wanna make this big film about something most americans have never heard of.

The Film Society of Lincoln Center “Dunkirk” Q&A with Christopher Nolan | source

[unclekaz]

A Pit of Paranoia

FNAF Springtrap x OC

Word Count: 2,889

Summary:

Your dreams were always a nightmare. A past you never could escape from. Sometimes it would be merciful. It would just be you meeting your end. Crawling away from a man with a gun, too shot up to do anything other than growl. Other times, it was horrifying. Being a second too late to save your beloved. Witnessing him die. You could never stay asleep for long.

[skitskatdacat63]

Every time I watch a Nolan film I'm just mentally preparing myself for when I inevitably go "what the hell..." at the end 😭

[pynkhues]

Hi, for the movie asks 🍿 21 22 23 🙂

Hi! Thank you!

21. A director you think is underrated

Oh, man, so many, but I've been working my way through Peter Weir's filmography again, and I can't believe his oeuvre isn't talked about more in its entirety. Like, yeah, people will talk about Dead Poet's Society and The Truman Show, but to look at the 15 feature films he made and his evolution from formative Australian cinema like Picnic at Hanging Rock, Gallipoli and The Cars that Ate Paris through to his American work like the movies I listed above plus Witness, Green Card and Master and Commander is truly pretty spectacular. There was no genre that he couldn't do, and I think he was a master of tone and atmosphere and it's a shame people will talk about his iconic films really as one offs instead of seeing them as parts of a body of work of probably one of the most influential directors in modern cinema.

22. A director you think is overrated

Also a lot, haha, but I'd say especially Christopher Nolan right now. I enjoyed Oppenheimer a lot, but I think overall his films have a lot of issues and are generally a lot shallower than people acknowledge. He also can't write or direct women at all and that always makes me a bit insane.

23. An animated movie you like

I adore animation, so I could rec so many! I watched Satoshi Kon's Millennium Actress for the first time recently though, and that's just been such a standout. It's kind of a fictionalised, fantasy bio pic in some ways of the life and career of Setsuko Hara (incredible actress! Tokyo Story should be essential viewing!) but really uses her story as an entry point to create a love song to Japanese cinema and the relationship between art and escapism. It's just magic.

Ask me about movies

[dylanconrique]

i knew they were gonna fucking write (or try to write) jenna's pregnancy into the show, but i'm still really upset about it.

[trashlie]

Hi Ashlie! Sorry if you've been asked this before (maybe if u could pls link up a past reply to this if u have before?? ;-;) but in ILY how do you think we'll return back to the scene with Nol & Shinae (w/ Shinae gripping Nol's wrist) ? (and perhaps u may have a brand new look on this after recent events in the chapters as of lately?)

In the beginning of this flashback arc I use to think we are running this arc as Shinae's retelling it to Nol (as if she's finally letting Nol (not yeongi) to get to really know her, as if they are meeting for the first time) but now i feel such memories are too intimate and personal to share all of sudden. I have a feeling we're gonna have this drama cliche where they get interrupted by someone (or something) like right after she tells him "Nobody is allowed to touch that", but I really hope that's not the case ! >< I want something new & refreshing if anything i want that scene between Nol & Shinae to last even longer because we've just been waiting for it for months ! (even years!!)

I've only briefly touched on it in other asks responses, so don't worry! I think my thoughts flipflop every time I'm asked, anyway, so I don't mind digging in to this!

Firstly, I think we are within 3 (fast pass) episodes of returning to the present, and that's a VERY generous estimate. After seeing the direction of FP 196, I feel very strongly that 197 MIGHT take us to Shinae's Fall, but I think it's more likely to be in 198 or 199? I hope I get the brain energy to make a quick post about what I THINK might go down, because I have some IDEAS. If it does happen next episode, I think it might feel a little too swift....? I think the timeline has to inch along JUST a smidge further, but I'll get to that in that "prediction" (lol) post. THAT SAID we are SO SO CLOSE!

I think I've said it before in here, or maybe on reddit, but I've always had the sense that yes, this is not a recollection from Shinae to Nol. Based on her reaction to him, I don't think she's inclined to tell him what happened - or rather, if she does, she's going to give him a vague summary of it. But more than that, I think this flashback arc serves multiple purposes, or else it wouldn't be so drawn out and rich in detail. Part of it is, yes, for our sake as viewers to finally have the full story and really understand Shinae's situation, to understand just how Alyssa caused so much hurt that she's carried around forever. Alyssa was not simply the straw that broke the camel's back like I had believed before. Shinae didn't shut down and put up a guard solely because she'd had enough of being stomped on by people. Alyssa like, broke Shinae and she is only just starting to recover from the ramifications of placing so much trust in someone who turned around and hurt her so much.

But I think by now we can also see that it was always a more nuanced story than we thought. I was actually looking at some webtoon comments earlier on some of the episodes up to 188 (which I rarely do) and even at that point a lot of people were... I'm going to say willfully ignorant lol to a lot of the nuanced complexity in the situation, and a lot of that is only being made richer in 196. What I'm getting at with this is: I think Shinae doesn't hold a lot of animosity because she realizes there was a lot more going on than she ever knew or understood - in fact, she actually addressed this during the Kim formal arc, when she noted that Alyssa is afraid she'll tell Nol what happened, and admits that she herself doesn't even fully know the truth. I'll get more into this in another post, but the basic gist is that there are clearly a lot of layers to their relationship, and things aren't always what they appear on the surface, and middle school Shinae certainly didn't know that and even at the formal, Shinae didn't yet know the truth.

I'm thinking, then, that this flashback is also for Shinae. She hides her scar and represses her memories of middle school, locking them away, and given the way her recollection of the fall appeared so hazy and distorted in episode 16 as well as the way Alyssa appeared in Shinae's mind as a result of "Think of everything that makes you mad" while beating up the bear suit and she paused - it's safe to say it's not something Shinae thinks about, and lol why would she? It's clearly a painful memory wrought with emotions. But moreover, think of this: prior to Alyssa, the people Shinae is angry at, the ones she thinks "you make me mad" towards - Nol, Kousuke, Yui - are all people who have actively and recently hurt her and done things to make her angry. But everyone else who follows - Alyssa, her mother, her dad, herself - are people who make her angry because she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand why Alyssa had a change of heart, she doesn't understand why her mother left and separated her from her sister and never stayed in touch, she doesn't understand why her father is failing at being a father and put them in such great risk out of pride and shame, and she doesn't understand why she keeps letting herself get hurt by people why she keeps letting them in only to deceive and hurt her. So I think maybe when Nol addressed her scar, when he asked if it was punishment and dared to address the very thing she actively hides and represses and refuses to acknowledge or think about, she was forced to deal with an onslaught of recollection that she's kept at bay. He broke a dam and now she's faced with the very thing she's avoided, and I think maybe it's to provide her with insight.

Much like with Nol, while neither of them handled things in a good way, Alyssa was dealing with more than Shinae saw the surface, had secrets she was too afraid to reveal, secrets she thought would scare away the only friend she had, so she acts in defense and it leaves Shinae confused. Without knowing what Alyssa is hiding, what she's guarding, how is Shinae to understand? How is she supposed to move on? In 196, I think it's implied that Shinae doesn't understand why Alyssa is being bullied - I think up until now she, like the rest of us, has thought Alyssa is being picked on for being nerdy, for hanging around with Shinae, for not "fitting in", and given the way that Shinae admitted to herself at the formal that she doesn't know the whole truth, I'm guessing that means she isn't fully picking up what they're putting down, she doesn't get what is Alyssa is being bullied over. Now that she's older, though, now that she's a little more removed from the situation, maybe these memories will offer a little enlightenment to what really went on.

The scar can only be a punishment if Shinae did something wrong. She didn't put her trust in a person who didn't care about her and turned on her the moment she could. She put her trust in a person who wasn't ready to reveal their secrets - just like she did with Nol. She piled on hope and trust and cared for someone who only "betrayed her" in that she didn't understand. Shinae wanted to be let in neither of them were willing to do that. But I think it's important that it's emphasizing Alyssa wasn't as malicious or mean-spirited as believed before.

Shinae was not punished for trusting the wrong people. They were just people not ready to share that part of them yet. And look, isn't that the same with her? Only just now is she revealing to Nol why she was this way, what made her so guarded, and still it's so vague and only in response to their similar experiences.

I know this a lot of preamble lol but this is my new insight on this arc that this may be a moment of revelation for Shinae, who has refused to acknowledge the past and locked it all away as she built up walls around her. But Nol has, yet again, managed to knock down those walls and she's bared a little more vulnerable, having confessed that she, too, has been dogged by misfortune, her scar now seen by him. I DO think, in a way, it is Nol and Shinae meeting each other for the first time, though. Nol is not hiding his true self from him and she is revealing little truths she hasn't even admitted to herself until this moment, and I've said it before, but I think it's putting them on a really level ground with each other. Shinae has now seen a glimpse into the secrets and Nol carries, has learned who he is when he isn't wearing his Yeonggi mask, and I think...? it's a moment of shared honesty? Nol has to have known that Shinae would feel antagonized by him calling out the scar - he knows he's never seen it before, that it means she must carefully keep it hidden, that she's always been cagey and guarded and this would be no different - so does he address it in hopes that she will bare some of her secrets to him, as he's unwittingly done with her?

What I'm hoping - especially if this is a moment of insight for Shinae - is when we return to the present, maybe we'll see her with mixed emotions on her face, as realization dawns on her? Maybe a moment of vague honesty - that she realizes this scar wasn't really a punishment after all, or that sometimes situations are more complex than they realize at the time? Something to allude that though this scar is a private, formative foundation of who she is, that it's just another series of unfortunate events in her life? Maybe we'll even come back to the present and she'll tell him a vague recollection of what happened - about a time someone she trusted and cared about accidentally hurt her, and how it damaged her in a way she couldn't begin to undo until he broke her shell? God, I would LOVE that, actually - I don't need her to say WHO hurt her, I just want her to admit that it was an event that altered the entire trajectory of her life, and that it was Nol's friendship that helped to undo the damage it caused, so that he can understand his importance in her life. Suddenly, it is not enough for me for her to tell him he's important to her, I want him to understand why he was something worth chasing down in the rain as she anguished and pleaded with him, and so he understands what it means for her to take him back.

I know the fear of an interruption is high, and I do go back and forth on whether or not I think it will happen. It IS highly cliche and frankly.... it's a cheap tactic lol. An interruption is meant to prolong a conflict, to ensure there is no closure reached, to carry on some kind of tension, but the tension has, thus far, been diffused by this flashback. Wouldn't an interruption be overkill? There was so much build up to this moment - from the moment Nol pleaded guilty and became unreachable, every time he slipped right through everyone's fingers, every time he did something to add fuel to the fire, the curveball (if you will lol) of Shinae's moment with her dad, it was all rising action leading to the climatic confession of "I really like her! She's special to me". They are in the process of re-establishing their relationship, re-establishing their boundaries. It is Nol's grand return to the people from who he ran away, and for their tension to be broken by anything but their own choices, before they've resolved anything, would be CRUEL and, frankly speaking, shitty storytelling. Nol said it himself - this is his last night before he leaves, and I think when he made that decision to climb up onto the roof with Shinae, it was yes, to get some closure and maybe to reassure himself of his standing? Does he have friends to return to when his sentence is up? Does he deserve to return to them when his sentence is up?

So yes, I agree - and ardently hope! - that they won't be interrupted. I think we'll return to the present and maybe the tension will be diffused, or at least it will be shortly thereafter, and I REALLY hope that Nol will join the party. When Shinae said she doesn't need him here, he said he needs him here, so I hope he plans to go see Soushi and Dieter and make up with them, too, and to maybe allow himself one night (or, really a couple hours at this point lol) to really truly enjoy something - not for absolution, not with the fear that he will be punished for having fun, but to make an active choice to enjoy the moment while he has the chance. God I want that SO BADLY. I also think that returning to the present, if Shinae reveals even a vague truth to Nol and they release their weird hold lol it would be, hmmm, I guess acceptance? Nol knowing Shinae is done running, Shinae deciding it's okay to put her trust in him again?

I mean, a really cheesy thing I'd like to see but I don't know if we'll get is some kind of, idk, plans...? For visitation or something? I think Nol wouldn't want anyone to visit him but wouldn't it be nice if they did, anyway? Ground him to who he is, tether him so that he doesn't lose himself while locked up - and always serve a reminder that there are people waiting for him on the other side, people who support and cherish him. UGGGHHH feelings! lol

I do want to see a little more of this new dynamic for Nol and Shinae - this kind of honesty and equal footing, this new evolution of their relationship where neither of them has the upper hand, neither of them have ulterior motives, neither of them running and chasing each other but finally facing each other as formidable allies. It's SO satisfying to see, even if they are both on edge at this moment. I want to see that soften, if only a little, as they accept each other again. I know we probably won't have a lot of episodes left before the morning comes to take Nol away, but I hope we get to see him at the party and feel real enjoyment for once.

Oops, late add on but, now that I'm thinking about it.... I do think there is a possibility that after they've resolved things themselves - relinquished their hold on each other, lowered their defenses, I think there's a chance Minhyuk could show up? ONLY because we all know Nol and Minhyuk meeting will likely NOT go well, and if Nol goes and joins the party, it feels like.... hmmm it doesn't feel, narratively, like that would flow as well. There's too many people around. But if Minhyuk comes looking for Shinae and finds Nol there, he might get his opportunity to go hulking oppressive brother lol and say a few choice words - but more importantly, Shinae would have the opportunity to tell Minhyuk that it's okay, that things are fine now or something. (I still see Minhyuk giving him the "I have my eye on you buddy" stink-eye, though lol) And I'm fine with that! As long as it's not an interruption that is further delaying their resolution, I'm fine with anyone coming to the rooftop (especially if it involves Nol saying "I'll be joining" or something lol) but especially in this case!