#how did the kid do so much shit in anything from five to 7 years

[fandom-drake]

Dick puzzling over Jason's mission reports: Exactly when did he have the time to heal, get dunked in the pit, get all that league training, come to Gotham with a bomb, go back to he league and join a cult, become a crime boss and become a part of three different team ups???

Tim excitedly opening three hundred mission reports, stolen league files and power points: Oh I'm so glad someone asked-!!!!

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[bihansthot]

I’m probably not going to be around much today lovelies, as I mentioned earlier in the week it’s the 25th anniversary of my heart transplant and ngl it’s weird. I’m in a weird place today, I’m trying really hard not to be sad or upset or think about how traumatic that night was. I don’t remember a lot about the night but I remember the phone ringing late at night maybe just after midnight and I remember going into my parents bedroom, they didn’t have to come get me, and I said “it’s time”, I just knew it as soon as I heard the phone and they confirmed it and we relatively calmly got our stuff and drove to the hospital. I had no idea what I was getting into and had I known, I would have not reacted as calmly as I did. I remember they had to draw blood before the procedure to use during the operation, I remember it taking over 25 attempts to get all the blood they needed and I was sobbing, I was in so much pain and I absolutely hated getting my blood drawn as a kid and while 14 isn’t exactly a little kid anymore it’s certainly not an adult either. I still remember the nurse who was there with us, she had a very distinct, raspy voice despite being quite young and to this day people with that type of voice bring back this very unpleasant memory. I don’t remember anything after the blood draw, they give you medication to help you forget traumatic operations and it doesn’t get much more traumatic than a heart transplant. I don’t really remember much of recovery either, I do remember how painful it was when they made me walk though. I wanted to go home and they said I had to walk to the end of the hall to go home and if I couldn’t do it they would keep me at the hospital another day. You better believe I dragged all my various IVs and monitors down that hallway in an instant. My incision was bleeding afterwards and I felt like I was going to collapse but I held that shit together like the stubborn ass I am and gave them a smile and told them it was nothing and I was ready to go. Shockingly they didn’t notice the bloody incision or my clear exhaustion and I was allowed to go home after only 7 days which at the time was a record. The weeks and months that followed were absolute agony, a heart transplant is a ridiculously painful procedure the only time I’ve ever been in more physical pain is when I threw up from my painkillers after having my tricuspid valve replaced 10 years ago. It was awful, I couldn’t even wash myself, I had to have my mother give me a bath like I was a five year old and that was humiliating but I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just too painful to move my arms to wash myself when my whole sternum had been ripped open and was now held together by twist ties and super glue. Then there was the near constant pain from the weekly biopsies to check for rejection, they basically jam a catheter into your neck and then rip little chunks of your heart out to check to make sure your body isn’t rejecting the organ. On top of all that I gained so much weight from the medications and steroids I was on and my mother was an absolute monster about it. We had a very bad very toxic relationship during this time, she ridiculed me constantly but I depended on her for so much that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to die. I don’t want to get to into it though but it was really hard so trying to think positively about today is really difficult but on the positive side of things I’m still here. I made it through all that hardship, all that struggle, all that physical and mental anguish. I survived. For 25 years I have survived and while everyday hasn’t been easy, I didn’t give up. I guess I deserve to celebrate that at least even if I don’t like dwelling on all the misery I’ve endured. So, happy anniversary me, you’ve done the best you could and deserve a nice celebration. I know a lot of you lovelies aren’t going to read this but if you do, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me outside of being a horny Bi-Han fangirl. 💙

[blacklegsanjiii]

Hello!

Thinking about that AU you mentioned where Sora manages to get out before 1234ji are modified when she’s pregnant— or well, mostly something adjacent to it. What if she made it out just a tad too late?

They still end up modified, but she prioritizes getting out of there whilst still pregnant and taking the poison when she’s around people who actually have her and her childrens’ best interests and health in mind. It still doesn’t fully work just like in canon, 124ji still end up mostly emotionless, but Sora feels at least grateful she did the heavy lifting and they get to be raised away from Germa and all its propaganda, toxicity, extreme utilitarianism. They’re a nightmare to raise in some aspects, but they grow up around people who care for others and show them how to do the same even if they don’t have the empathy or emotional range to personally feel anything about a lot of it.

So Sanji has his three brothers who sometimes say strange things and have very weird internal logic/framework to do certain things, but they’re Mostly Fine.

It's a good AU! I love it so much and I love this version you've created. According to Reiju's vivre card(here is where you can read it) she learned emotions and empathy from Sora. Which brings up that even if the poison didn't work they still have to learn emotions and empathy-But we'll get there!

Sora in her desperation after the modification and having the poison being able to get her location to her soulmate. So when Mihawk shows up a few days later and gets her and Reiju out. They're like twenty three when this is going on by the way. So not only are they young parents, one of them is a running royal and the other is a guy who has the moniker 'marine hunter'. Sora is actively explaining her plan to Mihawk who is just convincing her to wait until they get to the island he's secured. She just agrees and holds Reiju who is still learning emotions herself and is confused by that guy but then she gets to hear about soulmates and soulmarks and see them both. Mihawk's sky and bird and kotagana in front of Yoru on Sora's right fore arm. Reiju pokes the bird on Mihawk's chest and says 'that's mama' and Sora laughs at the nervous look on Mihawk because Mihawk with kids under like... seventeen are not his forte, a three year old is outside his wheel house.

So they get to Kuriagana and Sora takes the poison and Mihawk takes care of her and Rieju through the worst of it and helps her get better. Eventually the kids come and only one has a soulmark so they know what happened and it breaks their hearts but they also see how Reiju is learning so they make it their mission outside of their other dreams. Of course learned emotions and empathy can still be tricky and they still say some out of pocket shit and do those actions because they don't process fear like Sanji or Sora do, but Reiju and 124ji still understand emotions to an extent.

Are they still a nightmare to raise? Absolutely. They're quads and over time they understand Sanji isn't like them and can break and be cut unlike them. The mischief is high and without a lot of self preservation it's a hassle to keep them and Reiju alive since they don't have guards or supervision 24/7. Then you add in it's five on two and four of them are modified? Mihawk and Sora drink five pots of black coffee a day to keep up with them.

[mermmarie]

I have a thousand other things to do this month, but I just found this event and I REEEEALLLY wanna participate!! 😭 Even if it’ll just be something small. Thanks to @tmnt-tychou​ for creating this event! You can find the prompts list here!

Without further ado…

~ * BOND * ~

(Bonnie and Donatello)

1. In which TMNT universe does your pairing exist?

Rise!! (Although, Bonnie and Donnie are a thing in the Bayverse universe as well. 😋💜)

2. Introduce us to your OTP.

(Sometimes) Mad Genius Ninja Turtle meets Bunny Themed Human Thief!

3. How did they meet?

Oh, in the good ol' 'boys on patrol fashion' except Bonnie is the perpetrator Donatello and his brothers are after instead of a victim.

She's pulling a heist and gets caught by one of Donatello's handy inventions, but he gets careless and she magically escapes somehow, thus starting a mildly infuriating (for Donatello) game of cat and mouse..... er-- bunny and turtle??? Lol.

4. How is the relationship now?

Less.... infuriating. Lol, no, it's actually very good.

It takes a long while to get there however. What with Bonnie being a criminal and all. Kind of hard for them to be a thing when Donatello is supposed to be a hero to New York.

Donatello also has trust issue (outside of the fact that Bonnie is a thief) due to a past relationship with a girl that reminds him of Bonnie... However, when he finally gets past that, there is an obstacle from Bonnie's side that still diverts him from pursuing her fully. It's a complex situation for the both of them, but it helps that Bonnie is stubborn and Donatello can't turn down a challenge.

5. What is each other’s love language?

You would think being a thief, Bonnie's would be "gift giving' but no. Lol. It's touch. Upon first meeting someone she presents herself as reserved. But after becoming comfortable with the person (and or turtle) she is very hands-on. Be it affectionately-annoying pokes and prods, or lovingly-tender touches and caresses. And though it takes a lot of time and trust for Donatello to allow her to touch him, he yearns for it once they are in a stable relationship.

I feel like Donatello's is pretty obvious but... Gift giving / Acts of Service. (C'mon. He's just that guy.) It actually plays a big part into their whole story. To make things short however, Bonnie is kind of used to having to provide for herself and has a hard time believing anyone is genuine with their gifts towards her until she meets Donatello. He's the first being to give and assist her without requiring anything in return and that makes her heart go Doki-Doki.

6. Do they get married or have any kids?

Yes to both!!

They get married in their late 20s! It's an impromptu thing on Donatello's part, but of course, Bonnie's more than thrilled to take his hand in marriage.

They have two girls in their early to mid 30's!!

Jessie Aurum Hamato

Jamie Argenti Hamato

They are five years apart (so 15 and 10 in these respective pictures) and are named after the famous outlaw, Jesse James/Team Rocket by Bonnie. (Their middle names are by Donatello based off elements of the periodic table and of course they are part of the Hamato clan ^^)

7. What is your favorite thing about this pairing? (Gush as much as you want!)

Probably their ship name "Bond," LMAO!! (Listen, you don't know how many ships I've had that just didn't have compatible names!! 😭) But also their complex build up. I know I was vague about it here (I didn't want to overload) but they go through a lot of shit together and learn how to be vulnerable with one another. I hope to share more of it soon cause I think it's quite a fun story.

Anywhoo!! I don't think there's any requirements on tagging, but I'm going to encourage some peeps to participate!! @seafoamtaffy @usikuagani

[dyinglikeastar]

Twenty Questions for Writers

1.) How many works do you have on AO3?

417 🫠 Don't be too impressed though lol, I'm very old and many of them are drabbles

2.) What's your total AO3 word count?

951,061 🥲

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Justified. Biggest past fandoms: DC comics and danmei

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

(I'm just going to list my Justified ones since that's what everyone's here for, but feel free to check out my works if you're interested in those other things.)

1. we could follow the sparks - 4793 words

2. for you it's always me - 15, 753

3. in my defense I have none - 54, 264

4. working for the knife - 1491

5. ten feet apart - 5581

5.) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely. I don't get around to every single one and sometimes it takes me a while, but I try to because every single comment makes my day.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I love to write angst, but I tend to have at least a mildly happening ending in fics. For Justified I don't think I have an angsty ending fic yet, so its probably going to be Nothing Left To Burn, an Untamed fic. (heed the tags, proceed with caution etc)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is hard since most of my fics do end on a happy note. I don't write fluff or weddings or anything like that, but I think For You It's Always Me is the happiest ending for my Justified fic though. Domestic Raylan and Boyd make me happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

In my many, many years of writing fic and out of the 400+ works (many of them ~~problematique~~)I have up, I'm fairly certain I've only ever gotten two even remotely negative comments. I'm not sure how I pulled that off, but it probably has something to do with being a virtual hermit and never promoting my shit lol. Anyway, one of them was on a sex worker fic and the criticism was that a group of teenage runaways doing sex work wouldnt have to eat ramen or live in a shitty apartment because apparently all sex workers make triple digits 😅. The other one threatened to call PETA on me bc a kid in the fic had multiple goldfish die.

9.) Do you write smut?

Pretty much primarily lol

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

It appears that I've never published an actual crossover, huh. I've written plenty of AUs, like my Hunger Games!Raylan/Boyd AU, but never a true crossover.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have, I give blanket permission and its always nice to get those notifications

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep, the most recent one being In My Defense I Have None, and I wrote 2 pretty popular DC comics fic series with someone.

14.) What is your all-time favorite ship?

Oh Lord, I can't do favorites. I can tell you which was my first, which one I've shipped longest, my favorite from each fandom, but I can't pick just one, thats like picking a favorite child.

15.) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pot canon Raylan/Boyd where Raylan doesn't turn Boyd in, instead he kidnaps him and runs away with him into the mountains somewhere. I just don't know how to end it in a way that makes sense.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Well I don't know, but I hope it's characterization and dialogue, because that's what I enjoy the most. Also, fitting a bunch of shit in few words.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition. Long fic. Did I mention exposition? Exposition is my nemesis.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for fic?

It's fun and immersive, but only works if you're fluent or have a native speaker to ask about it, otherwise you end up with a Lance Voltron situation.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, unfortunately.

20.) Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly, In My Defense I Have None. Its the longest thing I've ever published, it was super fun to write and totally self-indulgent, full of all of my favorite tropes, and I got to write it with my girlfriend.

Thanks, @tallsinspace and @willowmckinley for tagging me in this meme

[hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon]

sebastian bud hit me with some of your FAVOURITE kj hcs i need inspiration

the way I am VIBRATING rn

okay okay okay I have a great variety of kj hcs so imma just shoot a variety at you, of various degrees of seriousness.

Fab Four and Associates:

-Strong believer in disabled Kobra Kid agenda (i talk about this in various degrees in my fics and plan to include more). Personally I think he is selectively mute, but in the way that he is most comfortable when he's not talking. If he is ever talking a lot, it's a bad situation. Also has scoliosis but most people don't realize bc he spends 60% of his time hunched over on his bike anyway and like, yes it's actively making the problem worse. No he will not be doing anything about it he's got Things to Do.

-Jet is like. If wanderlust was a person. He loves wandering around and talking to people and being up in their business but not actively involved and knowing everything that's going on or not knowing what's going on and being surprised. like genuinely everyone knows him because he is always just. Somwhere. He's a guy that's always lonely but not because of lack of friends, it's because he's got so many people he cares about that there's no way for all of them to be in one place at the same time.

-Jet has the driest sense of humor on the planet like he's smiling a lot so it's like 'wait wait are you serious?' and the answer is whatever is funniest. (Ex. from my fics, he wanted to name a baby Jet Star II: Electric Boogaloo, and he was not serious about it until everyone else thought it was a terrible idea and then he was dead serious about it)

-Poison and Kobra are not siblings, so says me. Their whole relationship is "you are useful and I care about you a lot but why are you like this?" and it's true in both directions. they're weird bitches. usually five seconds from hitting each other.

-The Girl is a funny motherfucker because she pays attention. Like a lot of the people around her don't got a ton of exposure to kids, so they assume that small kids don't know what's going on ever, and they are wrong. The Girl always has a pretty good idea of what's going on. She may make wrong assumptions sometimes, but for being 7? she's scarily good at picking up on how people interact with each other and how electrical things work and when a dust storm is about to blow in.

-The Girl will dig holes. And put people's stuff in them. And you will not get it back. She wanted Party and Ghoul to stop smoking so much so she did steal all their nic-sticks and bury them behind the outhouse so that even if they found them there's no way they would smoke them bc of the smell of shit.

-The Girl is absolutely part of a small gang of seven-year olds who like to hang out at the gas station and yell at people.

-While Ghoul and Kobra have a Spiritual Bond (we've discussed this at length, you know my feelings on it, perhaps I'll make a post at some point), Agent Cherri Cola and Kobra are in love, and they're weird about it. Cherri is a girlboyfriend, it rules.

-That said, everyone is pretty chill with Cherri Cola (Jet thinks she's okay if pretentious, and he's right. Cherri be pretentious as fuck) except Party, who is waiting for an excuse to run Cherri over with the car.

General:

-Killjoys got a lot of weird hobbies and games, one of which I did make up and include in an upcomign fic, and it's called Canyon Smash. The way this game works is a whole bunch of 'joys (between 3 and usually 20, but there's no upper limit of participants) gather in a narrow canyon and form a long chain by holding hands. Then the person at the front of the line starts running full speed forward, with the goal being to get as many people behind them to let go as possible. This is achieved by running at walls, jumping over rocks, and generally making it as hard as possible for the people behind you to hold on; if the person in front of you in the chain lets go, then everyone behind them is out of the game as well. There's two ways to win a Canyon Run: 1) you are the last person in line, proving that no one could shake you off or 2) you're the person at the front of the line, and you managed to shake off everyone behind you and run alone.

-I have feelings about Killjoy naming practices and they are as follows. Until a kid is 1-2 (you're pretty sure they're gonna live), everyone calls a kid a Snow Storm, and generally rotates through a bunch of pronouns. By age 2, the kid is given a non-kj nickname that involves something unique to them. Over the next several years as the kid's personality develops, they get to take part in creating their 'kiddie name' which is a trial period to figure out what is meaningful and unique to them in a way that will become their killjoy name. Usually by their early to mid-teens, the kid selects their adult kj name. An example of this would be like for an OC I had, who's name progression went: Snow Storm -> Puff (bc of the way she wore her hair) -> Pet Tornado (as dubbed by her uncle bc she crashes into everything) -> P.T. Crusing (P.T. as an abbreviation for Pet Tornado, and Cruising as a play on the car pt cruiser)

I HAVE TO GO I GOT DISTRACTED AND A FRIEND THOUGHT I WAS DEAD BUT ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO ASK ME FOR MORE KJ HCS I LOVE TALKING

[squarehammersupremacy]

[Chapter Two]

(As always, the italics on certain parts are them speaking in Italian because I don't actually know Italian, and I'm too lazy for Translate!!)

WARNING: HEAVY SUBJECTS SUCH AS DEATH

------------------------------------------------

The Emeritus Household today was hectic, the five members rushing around to deep clean the entire living space. After all, their mother returned today from a work trip in London. Sister was nothing but a perfectionist, and Papa Nihil was the exact opposite, so when she left, the house tended to be on the messy side.

"Pop, I'm on my way to the airport to pick up Ma," Primo ran a hand through his hair, "want me to take Copia?" Nihil turned and nodded, brushing a strand of his dark hair out of his face.

"That's fine; little tyke has been missing Sister ever since she left," he cracked his knuckles, yawning. "Make sure you text me when you leave the airport, so I know how much longer I have to deep clean the carpet," Primo nodded, and came Copia, laughing as he ran and hid behind Nihil. Of course, he was up to something because along came Terzo.

"You shit! Give me that back, you bastard!" Copia clung to Nihil, peaking around to look in the face of his angry older brother.

"I don't have anything, Terzo! Swearsies!" Terzo growled and reached behind Copia to grab him by the collar, holding him like a mother cat would hold a kitten, except Terzo wasn't nurturing his younger brother.

"Swearsies my ass! Give. Me. It. Back!" Copia scrunched in on himself, frowning as tears began to collect in his eyes.

"Papaaa!" he cried, tears running down his freckle-speckled cheeks. Nihil frowned, grabbing Copia from Terzo.

"What in hell's name is going on? Terzo, what did he take?" Copia sniffed as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"He took my last piece of candy!" Nihil was dumbfounded. 'Candy? Are you fucking kidding me?!' is what he wanted to say, but currently, he was WAY too tired to deal with the two youngest brothers.

"Terzo, it's a piece of candy; I'm sure you have plenty more money to buy more candy; stop picking on your brother," Terzo scoffed and rolled his eyes, stalking back to his room, "and you-Mr. Thief, stop taking your brother's things. Get your shoes on; you'll pick up Mom from the airport with Primo." Copia perked up, giggling as he ran to the shoe cubby (which was in utter disarray, Papa was going to fix it later), and he slid on his shoes.

"'Kay! I'm ready!" Primo nodded to him and opened the door, letting Copia go before him, and then he exited, closing the front door. Nihil took a moment to compose himself, then he continued to scrub away at the carpet. Nihil found himself smiling, a melancholic one. It made him sad thinking that Primo was graduating this year, and he was deadset on going to college, and with his good grades, he would get into a good one. After that, Secondo and Terzo would graduate, and then his little Copia would in about 7 or 8 years. Soon, all his boys would grow up, move out, and start their own families. 

Nihil managed to scrub the carpet down to the original color, and he sat up, twisting himself to pop his back. His phone dinged, and he looked at it. 

'I have my own entourage, lucky me,' he chuckled, typing back. Nihil set his phone down and stood, eyes gravitating to the shoe cubby. Walking over to it, he knelt down, and his knees cracked as he began to put the cubby back in order. 

"Pops, can I go stay at a friend's house?" Nihil looked up at Secondo, tilting his head. 

"Son, do you know what day it is?" Secondo blinked, his eyebrows furrowing under the ridiculous sunglasses he purchased when they had gone to the mall. 

"Yeah--it's a Friday??" 

"Son, your mother is coming home today," his eyes widened, "ah, there it is. Maybe tomorrow you can go. Today I want to have some family time," Secondo nodded and turned on his heel, walking up the stairs. "I suspect your mother will want your math work done, Secondo Emeritus!" Secondo cursed in Italian, his footsteps quickening on the steps. Nihil chuckled and moved his eyes back to the cubby, which was perfectly organized as of a few moments ago. Then his phone dinged again, and he checked it. 

'We have her!' with a cute picture of the three, Copia smiling as wide as can be, even with the gap between his front teeth and Primo's stern face, but his eyes gravitated to her. Sister looked lovely today (not that she didn't look stunning any other day), her blonde hair up with a few strands framing her face. Nihil typed out a 'be careful!' to his eldest son, and then he sat on the ground, deciding to open the gallery of his phone. His camera roll was pictures from various activities, including Terzo's last play. He was terrific in it, as one would expect when it came to Terzo. 

Then Primo's science fair project, he got first place, and Nihil captured Primo's big smile in the memories on his phone. Thirdly, he had been proud of Secondo's 100 on his math test. Secondo hated studying, so when he had actually studied (Primo threatened to tell all the girls at school about the stuffed bear he still had if he didn't). His efforts weren't in vain; Secondo found out with satisfaction. 

Finally, Copia's first pet rat. He named him Little Nihil after his father, and he loved that animal. Unfortunately, Little Nihil passed away of old age when Copia was 8, and he was heartbroken. So, with that, Copia got three new rats. 

"Papa?" Nihil looked up, breaking out of his thoughts to look at Terzo, who was frowning. 

"Terzo, what's up?" he looked down, shoving his hands deep down in his pockets. 

"What if--what if she forgets about me?" Nihil tilted his head, his brows furrowed. He patted the ground next to him, and his son sat down, arms around his knees. 

"What do you mean, champ?" 

"What if she leaves just like Mom?" Nihil's heart dropped into his stomach as his son sniffled and wiped his eyes, "what if she leaves and never comes back?" Nihil wrapped an arm around Terzo, rubbing his son's shoulder. 

"She'll come back; she always does," he said matter-of-factly, "son, your mother did love you; it was just too hard for her. I'll admit that I did make terrible choices, and your mother wasn't ready for a baby," Terzo looked over, his eyes red as a tear slid down his face. 

"It's unfair, Papa," he spoke up, wiping a tear with the back of his palm, "how come Primo and Secondo's moms get to be dead while mine is alive but doesn't want anything to do with me." He sobbed, head leaning against his knees. 

"Don't say that, son. Listen to me, my son," Terzo slowly lifted his head up, "there is nothing wrong with you; you're a perfectly fine young man. It isn't fair for you to live knowing your mother is out there, but think about your older brothers. They probably miss their mothers," Terzo sighed and then nodded, a soft smile coming to his face. 

"You're right; I'm sorry, Papa," Nihil ruffled his son's raven hair, "I never considered how Primo and Secondo would be feeling, and that's wrong of me." He stood up, holding a hand out to Nihil. 

"Oh? So you think I'm too old to get up by myself, huh?" Nihil stood, tackling his son in a hug. Terzo laughed, then the front door opened, and the two looked over. In came the three, Copia leading Sister into the house. 

"Mama, look! All clean, just for you!" Terzo smiled at his younger brother, thinking about the talk he had just had with his father, and he stepped forward to greet Sister. 

"Hello, Terzo," she smiled softly at the teenager, "I trust you kept everyone in line?" he nodded and wrapped her in a side hug, her well-manicured hands ruffling his hair. He stepped back, tugging Copia into a sloppy hug. 

"Well, don't you look ravishing, my love," Sister scoffed, holding a hand out towards him. 

"Mm-hm, hello, Papa," Nihil knelt next to her and cupped her hand, pressing a kiss to the ring on her finger, "that's a good boy. I trust that the house didn't burn down while I was gone," Sister tugged at her sleeves, and Nihil helped, her coat going on the rack that was--

"Where is the coat rack?" Sister implored, perfect eyebrows furrowed in the middle as she looked around. 

"Uh-oh!" Copia ran out of the room and returned, giving the rack to Nihil. Nihil looked at it, an eyebrow raised at his youngest son. 

"Son, why was this in your room?" 

"Dickhead wanted to play with it!" Sister's eyes widened as she looked over at Nihil, her lips tipping into a snarl. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? Dickhead? Oh, you absolute asshole! You baffoon! You have my youngest cursing, and he's not even in high school yet!!" she grabbed Nihil up by his ear and tugged, yelling in Italian as their sons watched with smiles. 

"Here you go, Copia," Primo handed Copia money, pocketing it with a snicker, "may God have mercy on Papa's soul because Mother won't." 

[theosb0rnway]

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

7. earbuds or headphones?

10. what game you were best at in p.e.?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

18. ideal weather?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

38. lemonade or tea?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

90. luckiest mistake?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

5. Soda bottles ALL THE WAY

7. Earbuds

10. Ultimate Kickball (if you want the FUN story that goes along with it, just ask!)

12. "I Could Crush You!" by Punkarsenic or A Million Little Gods by Aisu10 (both on 8tracks)

14. Sour Patch Kids

18. Sunny, lower than 50 degrees, fluffy clouds or cloudless sky

26. I love long taking walks!

31. Ripped black jeans, MCR t-shirt, leather jacket, studded belt, shit ton of jewelry, my three inch heel "Stolas" boots

32. Fre shavacado, "this is why mom doesn't fucking love you!", "I taught a robot how to fear!", "What the FUCK, RICHARD??", "Chris is that a WEED??"

34. One that's local to my area so I can't say it LOL

38. Tea, hot tea

42. PANTS. POCKETS.

43. Already answered!

49. "Every warrior must learn the simple truth that pain is inevitable and suffering is optional." Malcolm Merlyn, Arrow

"I am stronger than this." Andrew Detmer, Chronicle (2012)

50. Oh god, probably when I got drunk on New Year's and watched ZeroZeroZero... or pretty much every time @clanofjones and I plan a Ghosts of Our Days chapter-

54. Kids are weird, people change, don't rely too much on anyone you think is a friend, they WILL turn on you. (My first job was being a camp counselor at a theater camp-)

58. Can get away with anything, gifted English kid, untangling knots, maneuvering through crowds EXTREMELY well

59. "I'm just that good!" (I say this WAY too much, help me-)

68. WTF IS WATERMELON FLAVOR EVEN I HATE IT

73. Spaghetti and balsamic glaze. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. Balsamic is life.

76. Baked potato with sour cream, chives, onions, and broccoli and cheese on top

82. Not a gamer, doesn't understand computer speak-

83. WRITING. Jay and Ren could tell you that-

86. Cookies, but I do love small cupcakes!

90. Too deep to share here

94. Fall! And winter too

95. Notes App, Photos, or my stargazing app

Thanks, Dagger!

[gotham--fc]

❤️-🍀yes im being a little shit about it and asking everything. So you can choose the ones you want to answer if that's easier or are more comfortable with

I’m gonna skip the ones I already answered and probably skip the ones I don’t feel like answering rn

💛: what is your favourite feature on yourself?

Honestly probably my hair (I do have nice hair it just gets greasy quickly) or my eyes

💚: where are you from?

Canada! I grew up a few hours from Toronto

🩵: do you have any pets?

Yes! I have 2 cats and a bunny currently

💙: do you have any siblings?

Oui I have 2 sisters and a brother

💜: describe yourself in five words or less

Funny, short, awkward, caring, creative

🖤: favourite hobbies outside your blog

I play soccer and recently have gotten into axe throwing, I like to watch movies and tv shows, watch sports, read, stare at my cat as she sleeps

🎂: when is your birthday?

May 17

🚗: can you drive?

I can I do have my full license

✈️: favourite place you’ve traveled

Def Las Vegas

🎤: have you been to a concert?

I have been to several, most recent was Scott helman

🎧: last song you listened to

Grammy Weeknd by Lucidious

📺: last show you watched

I watched jeopardy earlier with my mom

🍅: least favourite food

Onions if I eat an onion I’ll throw up

🍊; favourite season?

Autumn it’s not too hot not too cold and it’s not as rainy and muddy as spring

🍋: favourite genre to read/watch/write

I love watching a good psychological thriller, but also something stupid like the Simpsons, for reading I’ll read just about anything I’m an English major so I’ve read everything from literary fiction to shitty romance to kids books, and for writing lowkey I am so good at writing angst like I know y’all think I’m really good at fluff and I am but it’s also so hard for me to write bc I feel like nothing is happening like angst always has a good plot

🫐: some place you’d love to visit

I’d love to visit Europe some day

💌: why did you start this blog?

I got really into woso and I wanted to connect with some woso fans on here

🪐: favourite shows/series of all time

Orphan Black hands down no contest it’s Orphan Black (runner ups x company and killjoys)

🍄: what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change?

I’ve lost some friends where we’ve just drifted, I’ve also lowkey caused problems on purpose which has led to the end of friendships (mine and others) and I wish I handled the situation differently

⭐️: what is one of your biggest accomplishments? Why is it so important to you?

Honestly probably graduating university, I was so burned out by my last year that I could barely put in effort to get my assignments done and I’m shocked that I passed but I’m also proud that I was able to push through and get it done (and graduated cum laude)

🪻: what is the toughest thing you had to go through, but can say you’ve successfully overcome?

Childhood cancer 🤪 but I’m 7 years out now

🌺: what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important?

My aunt made me a quilt when I was in the hospital (for the cancer) and my mom made me a blanket last Christmas and I really appreciate them both bc I know how much time and effort it takes and it just shows how much they care about me

🍀: what is your comfort show/series and why is it your comfort show? How has it helped you?

Okay no joke and I’m aware how scary this answer is but my comfort movie is The Sixth Sense it’s my favourite movie of all time and it just really sucks me in every time like when I watch it I just zone out and forget everything else it’s really helpful when I’m having a bad day and every time I watch it I notice something new and it just always hits

[00katrinka00]

Landcaster Legacy Gen 7 Update #55

Dear Diary, It's been a week since Lacy ran away, and the police haven't found any sign of her. The longer she's gone, the more I worry something bad happened. Mom and Dad invited Grandpa to stay with us so they can search for Lacy in the evenings, I hope they find her. -Violet

That morning, Grandpa Matthew had begun to make breakfast while the rest of the household slept. "Morning, gramps," Violet greeted him as she took a seat at the island "Violet!" He exclaimed. "Ready for your exams today, first ones of the year" "I guess. Can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely," Matthew said cheerfully. "Out of curiosity, was Lacy always like this? Flaky, I mean. She is your grandmother after all," Violet inquired. "If I'm being honest, I don't know," said Matthew. "My mother, Isla, never really let us visit, so I don't actually know Lacy."

"You don't?" asked Violet. "Nope," answered Matthew. "Isla always resented Lacy, so when she turned 18, she left, immediately. I think when I got older Lacy reached out a few times, but Isla ignored her. She did leave her fortune to the six of us boys though" "That's so weird…"

"Dad, you really didn't need to do all of this," Mads said as the whole family, minus Lacy, sat down for breakfast "Nonsense," said Matthew. "You guys deserve a nice nutritious breakfast. I've never been the best cook that was your mother's forte, but I hope it's at least edible."

"I like not having Lacy here," Rosie admitted. "She's not teasing me every five seconds." "That's rude," Violet snapped. "I know, teasing isn't nice." "No, well yeah, but she's family, you shouldn't be happy about her running away." "Whatever," Rosie rolled her eyes.

"Mads is right," Ethan added. "You really didn't have to do all of this." Matthew waved his son in-law off. "I'm happy to, besides, who knows how much time I have left with my precious daughter and grandchildren." "Dad, don't say stuff like that, especially in front of the kids."

While Mads scolded her father, Lacy was having a slow start to the morning on the other side of town. "You're going to school today?" she asked curiously. "Yeah," Charlie sighed. "It's exam day, and I've skipped all week. I don't want to completely flunk out of high school."

At school, Violet sat with Jenna and Sage on the benches. "I swear, I've talked to every person in this school and nobody has seen any sign of Lacy," Violet was explaining. "I don't know what to do." "I don't know if there's anything more you can do," said Sage "Is that Charlie?"

It occurred to Violet that she actually hadn't seen Charlie all week, so she headed over to him, "Hey, I don't suppose there's any chance you've seen Lacy within the past week?" she asked. "No," he snapped. "What makes you think she'd be with me, Veronica?" "It's Violet."

"I'm just asking" Violet added. "She's been missing for a week now and our family is super worried" "Look, if I'd seen her, I would tell you, but I haven't since the day she offered to send me risky photos and you stepped in and stopped her, so maybe mind your own business Vicky"

While Charlie argued with Violet at school, Lacy took the opportunity to wash her clothes. She decided that she preferred when Charlie wasn't there. Lacy found him rather talkative and annoying, she liked being alone. With fresh clean clothes, Lacy sat down to watch TV.

"How were exams?" Lacy pretended to be interested in the answer when Charlie got back from school. "They're whatever," he rolled his eyes. "You know, you really need to get that annoying cousin of yours off my back. She basically tackled me in the halls looking for you today."

"Excuse you?" Lacy snapped as she stood up. "Violet's not annoying, well she is, but you aren't allowed to call her that." "Whatever, she just needs to mind her own fucking business. I covered for you by the way, a thank you would be appreciated."

"I don't like you shitting on my family members," Lacy glared at him. Charlie rolled his eyes, again, "I didn't mean it, can we just drop this, please. You're really overreacting and blowing all of this out of proportion. I'M letting YOU stay here remember. Just drop it."

"Let's just forget all of this happened, and cut to the chase," Charlie attempted to seduce Lacy. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked in disgust. "What do you mean? Isn't this why you wanted to stay here, you kind of owe me woohoo you know, for everything I've done for you."

"You're a pig!" Lacy exclaimed. "All you wanted this whole time was woohoo, wasn't it?" "I mean, isn't that what every guy wants?" "You're fucking disgusting." "C'mon, Lace, you didn't seriously think I was letting you stay here out of the kindness of my own heart, did you?"

"I thought you were being a friend," Lacy said angerly. "So, you're just a tease then? You go and throw yourself at me, and now when I decide to cash in you get cold feet." "I didn't-" "Oh, please, you owe me at least woohoo for everything I've done for you." "Go to hell."

Without another word, Lacy punched him in the face. "You're a piece of shit," she told him. "I hope you rot in hell for the rest of eternity." "Bitch," Charlie snapped before Lacy slammed the door and walked out.

While Mads and Ethan were out, continuing to search for Lacy, Matthew got both of the twins down for a nap, and he set up the game table so he could play a card game with his granddaughters when they returned home from school. "I like having you here, Grandpa," said Rosie.

"I win!" Rosie exclaimed after playing her final card. "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!" "Great job sweetheart," said Matthew. Just then, the door slammed, and Lacy walked back into the house. "Lacy?" asked Violet. She left her cards on the table before rushing after her friend.

Lacy went straight upstairs and laid on her bed. "Lacy!" exclaimed Violet. "It really is you. Oh, my watcher, where have you been? Are you okay? What happened to you? We've all been so worried." "Violet," Lacy said quietly. "Just leave me alone." "But-" "Please," Lacy pleaded.

[foggyparadisecandy]

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

[doctor-looneys-remedy]

Related to the last post but on a different tangent:

When I was a kid I ended up wearing the hand-me-downs of every kid in our family. If it was gender-neutral enough to pass, I wore clothes intended for boys also. One of these was a sweater with a college football mascot on it.

I think I was about 7-8 when I was wearing it. I remember the kids at school asking me about it. I didn't watch football at that age and I didn't really even care much about it. I just wore it because it was a sweater, and in my mom's mind, it got her out of buying something for me.

If you have parents that can't or won't buy clothes for you a good chunk of the time, you end up wearing some odd shit and making it work as best you can. Between this and my older cousins introducing me to heavy metal and the whole Satanic Panic of it all, I wasn't really a big symbol respecter to begin with.

Being in the later end of Gen X did nothing to help this. If you were to transport us all to the dark ages, a good significant portion of us would die-- not from disease or being labeled a witch, but by disrespecting people's religious icons and wearing someone's coat of arms upside down and finding it hilarious to paint Bart Simpson over an image of the king.

I think modern society though is getting to the level of dark ages/medieval society with the symbol thing though. Every time I turn around someone has invented a new thing that means a thing that they could have easily just spelled out. A large portion of the time its a meaning that only five percent of other people know about, and then they get offended or act self-righteous and make it a whole thing.

Let me introduce you to a concept: It's called a sign. With words on it.

Signs and words are real things that get your point across clearly. Signs and words aren't going to make you mad because an 85-year-old grandmother doesn't know what that purple spinach leaf means and you somehow assume she would and she should.

I'm being silly here, of course, but it feels like that sometimes. As far as I know there is nothing with a purple spinach leaf as its symbol. YET.

Before you create a symbol about a thing-- ask yourself if it is needed. Or - whether the creation of it is going to result in people in Walmart buying a t-shirt on clearance with something on it, and ultimately, with you huffing about how they should be screening all symbols through google before buying anything. Because, people don't have time to do that, by and large.

Unless of course, you are the kind of psychopath that wants to create symbols so that you can purposefully deride people or look down your nose on them in some future setting for not knowing what it is. Because I ABSOLUTELY believe those people DEFINITELY exist.

When you assume someone is down with a symbol they are wearing or have around in some way, you are making a few assumptions:

1-that they know what the symbol means.

2-they made a choice to have that thing, and didn't have it simply because someone gave it to them and now they have to use it, or they are poor and it was what was easily obtained for free or cheap, or that they had to borrow it from someone else for some reason

3-they care about it one way or the other. I have been stuck in places where I got something spilled on my clothes and purchased a $10 t-shirt that I wouldn't wear regularly. I would think by now we have all seen an exchange where someone says "Did you know that is for... " and the other person just shrugs.

What if you own something that didn't have a meaning when you bought it, but now it does? The multi-colored pumpkins for Halloween come to mind. I have a purple ceramic pumpkin that I bought 15 years ago. Is it supposed to be on me to investigate the meaning of things I already own that have been given meaning years after the fact? I'm not calling out people's causes-you should do whatever good you can in the world. I'm calling out the incessant symbol creation.

And I have to say- pop culture isn't making it better.

Pop stars have teams of PR people who drop Easter eggs on their behalf and coach them into these dangling thread behaviors for their fans to figure out. The cutesy clues about who they are dating or their next video. It's fine for them. They want to keep fans engaged and tapped into their lives, eager for the next project.

Pixar and Disney are pros and inserting Easter eggs into movies, and some other franchises have also done similar things.

Religions don't help.

I was raised in a religion where everyone was always looking for the thing that meant judgement day was at hand.

It doesn't help that a remarkable amount of the adults I grew up around never made it past the middle school levels of maturity about adult romantic relationships (or even teen romantic relationships, if I'm perfectly honest).

I guess all this is to say, it almost feels suffocating. If you are around people who assume that everything you do/say/wear/own MEANS a THING that they are supposed to draw some kind of deep interpretation from, what the hell can you do? How can you just exist? And then society just keeps inventing new shit that means a thing that could easily just be a damn sign.

I'm not autistic. I'm not asocial. I'm not anti-social.

Every society has symbols that mean things. And yes, its necessary for the ongoing functioning of a society. Its important to respect some things. But why is it every SINGLE THING?

And why does every single thing I do have to be taken as having some weird hinty-poo meaning? Why are you as a human being looking for drama and soap opera levels of shit where there probably is none?

Most of us, unless we are really waayaaayyy convinced we are social media important (and trust me, YOU AREN'T) are just paying the bills and making lunch. We aren't doing a thing that means a thing. We are just surviving. We are just exhausted from work and people and things and problems.

Someone wiser and far more respected in history probably has a warning about a society that is too steeped in symbols and symbol creation, and seeing (ahem, creating and spreading around) meaning in every little thing all the damn time. But nothing springs to mind at the moment.

I'll just end with Freud: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

[kshira]

𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: kazutora can’t stop thinking about what his child looks like—all you’re thinking about is how much you hate him

𝐭𝐰: fem!reader, cursing, angsty? some fluff

𝐰𝐜: 2k

𝐚𝐧: i was kicking my feet while i wrote this, literally got daddy tora on my mind 24/7

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 — 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

“tell me what she looks like again, please” kazutora begs, chasing chifuyu around the pet store, practically cornering him against the animal cages until the poor man gives him a description of his daughter.

“i’ve already told you five times, dude. you gotta let it go” chifuyu groans, pinching the bridge of his nose while kazutora needily crowds around him. “can’t believe she’s got my eyes, and my nose? shit” kazutora smiles, but chifuyu isn’t smiling he’s actually pissed the fuck off because if he remembers correctly—kazutora didn’t have this same reaction five years ago.

“let me ask you a question. why did you break up with her?” chifuyu steps closer to kazutora, he turns his head away at the words and chifuyu knows he is supposed to be there for his friend but fuck—everything was so ass backwards and he couldn’t tell who’s side to be on.

“i was scared, i didn’t know what to do. i couldn’t raise a kid with no job or money, but when i broke up with her i tried getting back together but she was already gone” kazutora mumbles, walking back to the front desk while a customer stood waiting for someone, “help me out, would you fuyu? friend to friend?”

chifuyu has to grip against the shelving to prevent his knees from buckling to the ground—he really hates having to play parental support with baji plus keisuke is a terrible partner in crime, especially the other night when he literally watched the dumpster fire burn.

now he even has to convince you to have anything to do with him again, you’d ignored all his texts and phone calls—showing up to where you lived would just result in your piercing gaze striking him down. but there was one person you always had a soft spot for, no matter what he did you’d always let him off the hook just because you found him irresistibly adorable—keisuke baji.

“koi!” baji screams, opening his arms wide enough for the small child to jump straight into his arms, keisuke had met her just once and just like her mother—koi immediately fell in love with him.

“uncle kei, what’re you doing here?” she squeals, snuggling her face into his chest while baji hoists her on his hip. you look equally confused standing by the doorway as you watch the adorable interaction. “yes keisuke, why are you here?” you lightly scowl, baji snuggles his nose against your daughters face while he flashes a grin, “just wanted to visit and see how you two were settling in.”

“i know you’re lying but i’m too tired to care” you brush him off sitting back on the floor while you unbox the items for the living room. “uncle kei can we have a princess tea party?” she grins, wiggling in baji’s arms until he can’t control the squirming child releasing her to the ground.

“of course! let me talk to your momma right quick and i’ll be in your room” baji winks, koi is content with his answer bouncing straight into her room and begins setting up her tea sets. baji joins you on the ground, trying to help you gather items from the box.

“what do you want? i know chifuyu sent you over here as a peace offering” you mumble, handing baji the decorative pillows. “you know i’ve always loved you” baji begins, turning to face you and trying not to stare too hard at your flourishing features, “and i love tora too but koi? i got a whole new love just for her.”

“it isn’t right she doesn’t know about him and yeah he’s done the worst shit possible to the both of you but i think kazutora has the right to at least meet her” baji gently gathers your hands in his rough palms, swiping over your trembling fingers, “kei, this isn’t a good idea” you whisper, removing your hands from his to put more distance between you and baji.

“kazutora won’t stop asking about her, he harasses me about you and i know he stays up late at night crying for what he’s done. it’s been years but tora still beats himself up for everything” baji says quietly, there’s pain in his voice and as much as you hate doing this maybe you really need to actually think about all of this.

“he asked about me?” you completely ignore everything else baji has said, only showing interest in what kazutora wants with you—maybe it’s the teenage side of you still huddled inside of your brain but you think those feelings never faded away for kazutora.

“who are you talking about?” koi tackles baji’s back while he shares a subtle glance at you, he smiles “nobody baby, let's go play now, yeah?” he jumps to his feet with koi attached to his back leaving you in a crowd of consuming questions and possibilities.

“i’ll do it keisuke” you mumble, reaching for your phone as you finally respond to chifuyu's numerous texts, you hope for the sake of your daughter's life this is a good choice.

kazutora nervously waits on the couch, checking his phone every five seconds, chest pounding with a surge of odd feelings coursing through his veins. “fuck, fuck, fuck” kazutora chants, dropping his head into his hands while he curses even worse words in the palms.

luckily you’re just right next door—it’s ironic really, baji actually living right beside kazutora in the array of apartments, you’d plan to talk to kazutora first before letting baji bring over koi, the plan seemed easy enough—you just hope it goes by as simple as it was created.

you lightly knock on his door, anxiously tittering on your heels while you listen to soft pads of his feet—kazutora again, looks so goddamn beautiful and it’s almost like he does it so effortlessly. strands of hair linger down his cheeks while he has the rest pulled tightly in a bun on top of his head. he wore a white tee with loose sweats but just enough skin that showed his toned stomach, you struggled to even look at him because there was just so much to fucking gawk at.

“h-hey, come in” kazutora stammers, pulling the door wider for you to join him inside, a light pink dust around his cheeks as you sit down on the couch. kazutora lays his phone down on the table while he walks into the kitchen grabbing you a bottle of water, returning he hands it over and sits beside you—but with a hefty amount of space.

“i promised baji and chifuyu that i would let you meet her, she has the right to know about her father” you begin, taking a sip of the water while you look around his small house—it’s plain, simple enough with cheetah print scattered across the rooms and pictures of friends that you two had made together in the past.

“for now let’s just have her be with me and you—plus baji and chifuyu. if you’re dating someone, i’d really like for you to tell me about it, i don’t want koi having people come and go in her life” kazutora nods back, “i-i’m not dating anyone so that’s not a problem.”

“okay, me either so we won’t have to worry about that” you reply back, quickly summoning another set of questions. kazutora gets a little excited that you’re single, nobody could distract you if—something was to ever happen.

kazutora groans when he hears baji voice booming from outside with a tiny one bouncing right back, he stands to his feet quickly walking to the door and you notice his phone lighting up as you follow behind him.

a ❤️ // okay baby <3

you shouldn’t be jealous—you couldn’t loathe the fact that kazutora is seeing someone else or the insult of another person giving him a pet name—it shouldn’t hurt after all of these years but it does—chest aching as you watch koi squeal with excitement running into her fathers arms, both of their faces looking so much alike it makes your stomach sick.

baji walks over beside you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it, “i told koi someone special has been waiting on her for a long time, i explained everything so you didn’t have to, momma” baji looks at you with a sweet smile and you can’t help but grin back at him, “thank you so much kei.”

“you’re my daddy! i look just like you!” koi flashes a toothy grin, bouncing on her heels while kazutora holds her tighter, “y-yeah, i’m your dad” he chokes on a sob, reeling his face back to examine his daughter, “thank you” kazutora smiles at you but you can’t even give a reply back—jealousy still fuming through your soul plus baji is uncontrollably sobbing beside you at the heartfelt moment.

“dude she even sleeps like you!” baji laughs pointing at koi face first into the couch with her arms stretched out, you smile back at the guys cooing at her peacefully sleeping body.

koi spent hours doing everything she possibly could do with kazutora and he never left her side, even trying her best to stay awake before she crashed on his couch sleeping like a rock. “baji could you leave us alone for a bit? maybe take koi back to your place?” kazutora whispers, watching his friend nod back as he scoops up the sleeping child, kazutora places a kiss against her warm cheek before they head back to his apartment.

“chifuyu gave me your number, i’ll call you” you mumble out, gathering koi’s toys and throwing away discarded candy wrappers she demolished. “that’s fine but i want to talk to you” kazutora slowly begins to smile and your stomach drops, a pity laugh comes from your lips while you move to walk out his door.

“what’s wrong? you’re acting like you’re mad about something” you whip your head around to look at him, “nothing is wrong, stop trying to ask like you know me or something” the bite back was harsh but honestly, you were still being a little petty about the text.

“like i know you? i dated you, my kid came out of your pussy. i know you pretty fucking well” kazutora snips back, he covers his mouth from the shock of arguing but he’d had a really good day today—he didn’t want it to end with you storming off.

“you told me you weren’t seeing anyone and you lied to my fucking face, i don’t care if you are but i’d like for you to be honest with me, hanemiya” using his last name at the end—yeah, that’ll teach him.

“what? i’m not seeing anyone, what the hell are you talking about?” kazutora rolls his eyes, trying to hold back the urge of self pride knowing you’re jealous—maybe you still feel something for him after all this time. “i saw your phone” you weakly grumble, causing his eyes to widen, “i’ve been sleeping with someone but it’s not that serious, like—at all.”

you exhale a heavy sigh of relief—why were you happy he wasn’t dating someone? but kazutora was still sleeping with someone and the jolt of pain settled in your chest as he continues boring his gaze at you. “why did you look at my phone though, huh?” kazutora smirks at you, playfully fluttering his lashes at you, “are you jealous that i’m giving someone else attention?”

“why would i be jealous of that three inch dick? please” you laugh back, kazutora lips form into a thin line, “didn’t hear you complaining when you were bouncing on it.”

kazutora waits for a rebuttal yet you just look him up and down before reaching out to open his front door, “chifuyu is actually throwing a party this time for me tomorrow, he wants you to come” kazutora hums while you take a step outside, “is it chifuyu that wants me to come or is it you?” you tease at him and kazutora smiles.

“i wouldn’t mind seeing you come” and you’ll never know what he actually means by those words but there’s really only one way to find out.

tagging! — @hoesplay @yukihime-mikeys-girl @rinrinfoxy @zuuki @rizakari @night-shadowblood-writes2 @crown5 @ayariceeee @idkwhybutilikesmut @oikawascutie @renxnana @bxnnyx

[sunkissedpages]

instead of you [part eighteen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of +sex

word count: 2k

series masterlist

“Sam and I will take the bunk beds.”

The room was a decent size. It was definitely bigger than Sam’s dad had made it sound. A large window on the back wall flooded the space with natural light and offered a view of the city below. By the door was a small fridge and a countertop with a sink and a couple of burners built in so that guests could cook their own meals. There was a queen sized bed jutting out from the western-facing wall and built into the adjacent wall were two twin-sized bunks, one on top of the other, making the room feel... cozy.

Harry and Tom traded looks with each other.

“Kidding.”

The boys visibly relaxed and chuckled awkwardly.

“If I ever have to share a bed with Tom again it’ll be too soon,” Harry sighed.

“Is that any way to treat your big brother?” Tom scoffed.

“I’m taller than you.”

“For now.”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean? You’re twenty-five, you’re done growing.”

Tom shrugged. “Yeah, but I could always make you shorter.”

“Oh, what are you going to do, cut my legs off?” Harry challenged.

“I never said that.”

“Jesus Christ guys,” Sam said, finally cutting in. “Can we not threaten each other until we’ve had at least a few hours of sleep?”

“Whatever,” his twin grumbled, kicking off his shoes by the door.

Tom slung his backpack onto the top bunk and pulled his sweatshirt off over his head, exposing a strip of his stomach in the process. You looked away instinctively, hoping that you hadn’t drawn any attention to yourself while doing so.

“You always get the top bunk,” Harry whined.

“Yeah, because I’m older.”

“That’s not fair!”

“My brothers are actually ten years old,” Sam explained to you, raising his voice so that you could hear him over the bickering.

“No, I think ten-year-olds know how to take turns,” you said dismissively, not missing the glares from the other two Hollands.

“You’re right,” Sam agreed. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed. “Reminds me of the family vacations we used to take. The six of us used to share one hotel room when we traveled.”

“Four boys... I don’t know how your mom did it.”

“None of us do.”

“I thought we were going to sleep,” Harry muttered from where he was already laying down on the bottom bunk, clearly irritated.

“Give us a minute to settle in, dude,” Sam shot back before dropping into a whisper. “It’s going to be a long week.”

You shook your head, putting your hands on his shoulders. “Everyone’s just cranky because they’re tired,” you reasoned. “We’ll get some sleep and then grab some food and then maybe they’ll be in a better mood.”

“You don’t know them like I do,” Sam warned.

“That’s true, but won’t they tone it down since I’m here?”

Sam snorted. “Wishful thinking.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, I’m going to hop in the shower. I feel gross after being on a plane for so long.”

“I’ll go after you,” Sam replied with a nod. “Let me know if you need anything.”

You thanked him with a kiss under the watchful eyes of his brothers who both groaned in protest.

“Oh, fuck off,” Sam growled against your lips.

“By the way, sharing a bed doesn’t mean you get to mess around because I don’t want to hear that shit.”

“Harry!” Sam and Tom shouted, Tom going as far as throwing a pillow at his younger brother from the top bunk.

“Just being honest! We heard you going at it like rabbits when you had your own room, and I didn’t say anything about it then-”

“Harry.” To your surprise, it was Tom who cut him off, raising another pillow in warning. Thankfully, Harry took the hint that time and shut up, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance.

You smiled to yourself with the knowledge that your little Easy A stunt had worked, and looked over to see that Sam was wearing a matching smirk. He winked at you before turning to glare at his brothers.

“On that note, I’m going to shower,” you said, mostly to Sam, and made your way over to where you had dropped your suitcase by the door.

You gathered a set of pajamas to change into and then wandered into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind you. It was one of those rolling doors so you had to be extra careful not to knock it off its hinges or the track and cause even more noise than necessary. You set your change of clothes on the counter next to the sink and began to undress, leaving your worn clothes on the floor.

The shower was kept in a room separate from the room with the sink and vanity, something you had read was common for Japanese washrooms. Inside the second room was a bathtub with a complicated looking panel next to it. With a closer inspection you determined it was used to fill the bath with water and customize the temperature. The showerhead was secured to the wall just to the side of the tub which meant you would have to hold it while you showered, but you didn’t mind. You were used to holding the showerhead for... other reasons.

Your shower was quick. You didn’t want to take too long when you knew other people were waiting for it. You were drained too. Even as you dried yourself off with a towel you could feel your arms start to get heavier.

You wrapped your hair in your towel and put on your pajamas shortly after, trying not to cringe at the way the fabric clung to your still-damp body. Usually you wouldn’t get dressed in the bathroom right after taking a shower because it was always so humid and sticky, you’d go out in the bedroom to do it, but as Sam’s girlfriend the latter wasn’t an option. So you dealt with the discomfort and ventured back into the main room.

It was dark now. Someone, you assumed Sam, had pulled the blackout curtains shut so that the daylight could no longer stream through the window. Harry was already fast asleep, but Tom and Sam were still awake, scrolling through their phones on their respective sides of the room.

Sam was perched on top of your bed, resting comfortably. He wasn’t underneath the covers, probably because he knew you didn’t like to share a bed with someone who hadn’t showered.

He smiled when he saw you and pushed himself up onto his elbows.

“Shower’s all yours,” you said.

“Thanks.”

You watched him rifle through his suitcase for pajamas and then eventually disappear into the bathroom before finally flinging yourself onto the bed. You still needed to take your hair out of the towel and brush your teeth, but you took a moment to just. Lay there.

Tom didn’t acknowledge you, hadn’t so much as looked at you since you came out of the bathroom, but you still found yourself looking over to him.

At the airport he had seemed at least a little concerned that he would have to share a room with you. Even in the cab to the hotel he kept sneaking glances at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. But now he looked completely relaxed and you were second guessing yourself. Maybe you’d been projecting. Maybe he hadn’t been anxious at all.

You, on the other hand, felt like you hadn’t been able to exhale since Dom had announced that you’d be sharing a room with Sam’s brothers.

It had dawned on you as soon as you stepped into the hotel room that you’d never be able to let your guard down. Before this point you had at least been able to take breaks, retreat to your hotel room with Sam and be yourselves without worrying that one of his family members was around. You hadn’t needed to keep up the act 24/7, but now you had no other choice. It was only for a week, but you knew it was going to be exhausting. You weren’t even sure that your current performance was believable, and that was without all of the more intimate interactions couples had in private. The good night kisses, the cuddling in bed together, falling asleep in each other's arms, the good morning kisses, all things you’d have to take into consideration. Most couples you knew moved in harmony, like they were one person, half of a whole. You and Sam were more like the hands on a clock. You were always moving in the same direction, and once in a while you’d overlap, but more often than not you were facing each other on completely opposite sides of the clock. It was what made you such good friends. Best friends. But what would make you terrible lovers.

To be fair, a lot of people misunderstood your dynamic, which you had been using to your advantage. They assumed that since you were always together you were basically the same person- and they weren’t necessarily wrong. You and Sam spent a majority of your time together. You knew each other well enough to finish each other’s sentences, to voice aloud what the other was thinking before they even said it.

The vibration of your phone next to you disrupted your train of thought. It was a text from Sam.

Can you come here rq? I need help lol.

Confused, you pushed back the covers and stood up. You dropped your phone back on the bed and walked over to the bathroom, keenly aware of the way Tom stiffened in his bed.

You rolled back the door and found Sam standing in his boxers next to the tub.

“What is it?” you asked, shutting the door behind you.

“How did you figure out the shower? I can’t get the water to be hot.”

“This is what you called me in here for?” you said, exasperation dripping from your voice.

“Yes! I don’t want to take a cold shower.” He said it like it should’ve been obvious.

“Did you try messing with the knobs? That’s how I figured it out.”

Sam’s cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as he pursed his lips, thinking about how to answer.

“Not all of them,” he admitted.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Sorry?”

“It’s the one on the left, dumbass,” you said and twisted the knob for him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled sheepishly. “I just didn’t want to fuck up the shower or anything.”

Men, you thought to yourself shaking your head.

“I’m going to bed,” you told him. “Before your brothers think I’m in here giving you head or something.”

“Let them think what they want,” he said, shrugging it off.

“I want to preserve what little amount of respect they have for me, thanks.”

Sam just chuckled and thanked you again as you let yourself out into the room with the sink. While you were there you hung up your wet towel and brushed your teeth with your finger and the toothpaste the hotel provided. You were too lazy to go get your toothbrush out of your bag.

“That was fast.”

You jumped, hand racing to your heart when you realized it was just Tom. He was still in his bed, but had rolled onto one side so that he could talk to you.

“You scared the shit out of me!” you hissed.

“Sorry.” He didn’t sound very sorry. “What did my brother want?”

God damn it, Sam.

“Why do you ask?”

Tom shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“He needed help figuring out the shower,” you explained.

“Glad he has you for that.”

You narrowed your eyes at the boy in the top bunk. He was trying to get under your skin. Why?

The ball was in your court. You could be the bigger person and let it go, or-

“He has me for a lot of things.” You pushed your tongue against your cheek so that there was a visible outline and brought your fist up to your mouth, moving it back and forth subtly so that he’d get the idea without being too obscene. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?"

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[kenzies-love-stories]

Who’s Gonna Tell Sam pt.2 (Paul Lahote x Reader)

A/n: Finally the much a waited part 2 is here! we dive a bit deeper into the readers past issues at home, Jared has a big mouth and Emily is playing match maker. I cut part 2 off where I did because it was getting long. Fear not though part 3 is going to pick up where this one left off. This is poorly edited and I apologize for that I just couldn’t wait to get this out!~ 🖤Kenzie🖤

Type: Fluff just fluff, reader has issues at home that made her move but it is nothing descriptive.

tag list: @venusdelaroix i know you asked about part 2 let me know if you want to be added or taken off the tag list.

1

posted: September 7 2021

word count: 3005

Y/n Young is a 17-year-old girl has been sent to live with her Aunt Emily due to some family issues and how her mother was handling them.  Y/n tries not to resent her mother for choosing to send her away to La Push Washington instead of dealing with their problems as mother and daughter. Y/n felt as if her mother was giving up on her, it made her feel like she wasn’t worth it. She finds that the cold sandy beach that is in La Push dulls in comparison to the warm sandy beaches back home in California.

y/n Pov

It has been about six months since Paul had imprinted on me, and we are pretty much attached at the hip. The only time we are not around one another is when I am at school and late at night when Paul is on patrol. I am honestly very surprised that Sam still doesn’t know what Paul and I are to one another.  

Speaking of Sam, he is currently with the rest of the pack, aside from Jared who is with Kim across from me at the kitchen table. Emily is in the kitchen making her oh so famous muffins and I am crocheting another square for my blanket.  

I slightly pause when I hear Kim ask, “has anyone else noticed how calm Paul has been lately? It is honestly kind of strange, but not unwelcome.”  

I go back to my work as I hear Emily answer while filling up muffin pans, “Yeah! I also noticed that.”

I freeze dead in my tracks when I hear, “It’s because of the imprint, the more he is around y/n the-”

I cut him off by yelling “JARED, SHUT UP!” but it was already too late, the damage was done.

“Y/n I am so sorry-” Jared starts

I cut him off, “It’s fine.” I put my hook down and make eye contact with Emily

“y/n/n is that true?” she softly asks coming out of the kitchen to sit next to me.

“Yes, it is, but Paul and I are not together in that way, I told him that I could really use a best friend right now. I didn’t completely shut down that idea either though, I just want to get to know him for him before that happens.”  

“Does Sam know, why am I just hearing about this now?”  she asks in confusion, knowing Sam he would have made a bit of a scene.

“No, Paul and I want to be the ones to tell him. We just don’t quite know how to yet.” I pause, “we made the guys promise not to say or think about it, I am actually surprised that Jared managed to last as long as he did.” I laugh playfully glaring at him.

“Hey! what are you trying to say kid!?!” he questions pointing at me.

“That you have a big mouth.” I joke holding back a laugh, when I hear Kim laugh.

“Oh, you little shit! I’ll give you a five second head start.” he says before standing and kissing Kim on the cheek.

I squeal and take off out the back door where I see a shirtless Paul, Embry and Quill. I sprint towards Paul and dunk behind him grabbing on to the back of his shoulders hiding.  He looks over his shoulder at me in concern, “Y/n/n what’s wrong are you okay?”

“Jared may or may not be after me!” I exclaim as Jared comes running out of the house scanning the back yard.

“Where are you, you little shit.” he shouts and looks towards Paul. “Of course, um Yeah. NOPE!” he exclaims then goes back inside to Kim.

I come out from behind Paul to see him smirk down at me, “what was that about.” He asks pointing to the door.  

“Jared um he slipped up and I told him he had a big mouth.”  I state nervously as I hear Embry and Quill laugh.

Paul worriedly asks, “who was around when this happened?”  

I pull Paul into a hug to calm us both down, “Only Emily and Kim, luckily.” I say into his chest savoring the warmth of his body.

He pulls me closer and rests his chin the top of my head, “So, I am assuming Emily wants to have a few words with me?”

“Yeah, she does.” I say while pulling away from his warm body. He sighs nervously and nods before walking inside. I decide to stay outside with Embry and Quill

“So, where’s Sam?” I ask  

“Emily’s and his anniversary are coming up soon, so he is out looking for gifts.” Quill states  

Paul POV

I walk into Sam and Emily’s with my palms slightly clammy. Emily is far scarier than Sam is when she is angry. “Hey Emily I heard that you wanted to talk to me?” I ask once I reach her kitchen table.

“Yes, I do, Kim can you and Jared please step outside for a few minutes?” She asks after putting something into the oven.  

I see Kim start to drag Jared towards the slider, “of course.” She says before closing the slider behind her.

We both sit down at the table, “Paul I heard that you imprinted on Y/n.”

“Yes, I did, Emily, I promise you I didn’t mean too.” I start to defend myself when she cuts me off.

“Paul it is okay, I know you can’t control that stuff. Just know that y/n has been through a lot, I don’t know what she has told you about her mom and that is not my place to tell you those things but just know that she has a hard time letting people in. She has a bit of abandonment issues and if you of all people abandon her too, it would just crush her. I can see that you mean the world to her and I haven’t seen that look in her eye since her dad. I just don’t want to see her hurt.” Emily states while making eye contact with me.

“She has not told me much about what she has gone through but I can assure you with confidence that I have no intention of ever hurting her or leaving her side. Emily just seeing her sad during a movie sends a pang of pain to shoot through my chest. I know that she only sees me as a best friend and by all means that is enough for me but the more, I get to know her beautiful soul the more I start to fall in love with her. Like the only thing I want to do is keep that smile on her face.” I honestly vent to Emily.

“I am really thankful to hear that, I know you will protect her with your life and because I feel that I don’t have anything to worry about I promise I won’t tell Sam.” She states, “That was all, I just wanted to touch base with you.”  

“Thank you, Emily,” I say before going outside to spend some one-on-one time with y/n before Sam gets back.

y/n pov about a week later  

Emily had of course been true to her word and has not uttered a word to Sam about Paul’s and I connection. Though she has been slyly playing matchmaker and finding ways for Paul and I to be together. Like this morning for example, “y/n come get your lunch!”  

I run down the stairs taking them two at a time until I make my way to the kitchen. I grab the brown paper bag from Emily and I noticed she is dressed up, “Thank you Auntie, um why are you so dressed up? Aren’t you just dropping me off at school.”  

“For Sam and I anniversary this year I bought us tickets to a music festival a state over, we will be gone for about a week. Paul is coming to get you for school today,” She pulls me into a hug and in a hushed whisper says, “You will have the house to yourself just no funny business.”

“Really!” I exclaim “Have fun Auntie.” I say as Sam makes his way downstairs with two backpacks.

“Y/n are you sure you are going to be okay here alone?” he asks stopping in front of me.

“I’ll be fine Sam I promise. You two go have fun you deserve it.” I muse before pulling him into a tight hug.

I pull away and hug Emily one more time, “Thank you.” I say very quietly into her ear.

“If you need anything, call Jared or Quill.” Sam states with a hint of a smile on his face.

“Will do Sam, I love you guys!” I exclaim as they are walking out, I hear a “We love you too!” in reply.

I watch them pull out of the driveway and then I look down at my current outfit, with a sigh I quickly run up the stairs to change as I was not planning on seeing Paul until way later.  I rush back down the stairs when I hear a knock on the door. I quickly fix my hair before I pull open the door with a smile. I am greeted with Paul’s warm presence.

I grin big, “Good morning, Paul.”  

“Someone is cheery this morning.” Paul says before opening his strong arms, I happily walk into them allowing his warmth to comfort me for a minute.  

All to soon I pull away and grab my backpack before I close the front door. I then put my house key in the lock, then check the door to make sure it is locked. “Can you let the pack know that the back door is open for them. Sam and Emily are in Idaho at a music festival for the next week or so.”  

“Really when was this, no one told us anything.” He asks while walking us to his truck.

“Yeah, Emily surprised him, they left this morning. Emily said that I have the house to myself for a week or so.” I reply nodding in thanks as he opens my door for me. My heart swoons and butterflies swarm in my belly as he closes the door then jogs over to his side.

“Really?” He asks as he starts the truck.

“Yeah, would you want to have a sleep over, Emily said that it was okay.” I ask while admiring his side profile as he focuses on the road to get me to school safely.

I see Paul’s cheeks start to slightly flush before he answers, “of course, I would love to as long as Emily said it was okay.”  

The ride to school was sadly quicker than I would have liked it to be. I sigh in distain as he pulls up in front of the school. “I am sorry I have to leave you at this hell hole y/n/n.” Paul states

“it’s fine Paul there is only three more months until graduation.” I state before deciding to be a bit bold, I then lean over to press a quick peck to Paul’s warm cheek. “Bye Paul see you after school.”

I see his cheeks deepen in color and he stutters, “k-knock them dead cutie.”  

I giggle and open the truck door, shutting it behind me and walking towards what Paul describes as hell. I meet Seth by the front door as always, “Good morning, Seth.”  

“Good morning y/n/n, did I just see Paul drop you off?” he asks holding the front door to the school open for me.

“Yeah, Sam and Emily are on their way to Idaho for a music festival.” I state walking with him to our first period of the day.

"Really!?! Why wasn’t I informed about this?” He asks sitting down at his desk next to mine.

“Emily bought the tickets for their anniversary so Sam probably didn’t know until late last night. That would explain why everyone was left in the dark.” I state before getting out my blue notebook for Chemistry.

The rest of my school day drones on uneventfully and much to slow for my liking. However, the final bell finally rings, signaling that it is three o’clock meaning school is out for the weekend. I rush to my locker as fast as my feet would carry me. I place all the things that I do not need for the weekend, slamming my locker shut I check the lock to make sure that no one is breaking into it. Not that I am worried at this school, it is a force of habit for going to school in California for so long.

I pick my backpack up off the floor, swing it over my shoulders before I start to push my way through the bodies all trying to make it to the exit first. I let out a breath of relief as the fresh crisp Washington air hits my face. I quickly glance around the parking lot looking for Paul’s truck which I find in the front row. With excitement I run over to his truck and gently pull open the door, “Hi Paul!”

“Hi there, how was your day love?” he asks.

I start to tell him about my day as I get in his truck, I only briefly stop to gently pull the door closed. After I am all done with my day, I glance over at Paul to already see him looking at me. “So,” he starts before continuing nervously, “I got Quill to cover my shift for patrol tonight, do you want to go to an arcade with me?”  

A big smile breaks out on my face, “Paul is that even a question, I love arcades! I honestly can’t wait to see your face when I whoop your ass at Ski Ball.”  

“Oh yeah, you think so?” he teases

“I know so hotshot.” I fire back.  

“Awe you think I’m hot.”  

“That is beside the point.”  I squeak embarrassedly

“Yeah you- Wait seriously, you really think I’m hot?” he has surprise laced in his tone

“Yeah, Paul I do, have you seen yourself lately.” I reply with a new found confidence.

“Well, the feeling is mutual, I find you particularly eye catching as well.”

“Thanks Paul,” I giggle as I noticed he entered the freeway, in confusion I ask, “Paul where are we going.”

“We are going to a little hole in the wall arcade in Seattle, I used to go there all the time as a kid.”  he replies like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

“Okie cool.” I reply placing my backpack at my feet on the floorboard. I feel my cheeks heat up as the embarrassment sets in finally, Paul found out that I thought he was hot...You are allowed to find your best friend hot...right?

I am brought out of my trance by Paul turns on his radio, “We can listen to whatever you want to y/n/n.” Paul mutters before signaling over.

“Thank you very much but I actually wanted to talk to you a bit about why I am currently living with Emily.” I reply before shakily turning the dial down again so he can clearly hear me.

“y/n/n, you know you can always tell me anything, I am not going to judge you, ever.”  I noticed that we entered the exit that is going to take us to Seattle.

“Okay, so after my dad died about six years ago my started to go off the deep end. I started to rebel her rules in hopes that I would get the attention that I needed from her. “I pause to breathe before continuing, “however, nothing seemed to work. She became so wrapped up in drugs and her boyfriends that she couldn’t even remember my birthday the last two years. At sixteen I was crying alone in my bedroom. By my seventeenth I was in my friend's basement getting tattoos hoping my mom would notice that I was growing up without her. The only thing I got when I got home was an ass whooping and a plane ticket to Washington. I am kind of glad that I was sent away in some sick since because it led me to you and at this point, I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.” I state looking at the hands in my lap trying to ignore the sting in my eyes. I was so focused that I didn’t even notice that he parked the truck.

He gently lifts my chin up to look into my misty eyes, “Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me, y/n you are never going to have to feel that way again. You are surrounded by so many people who love and care about you. We notice you, and we are not going to forget another birthday of yours ever; Babes you are not alone anymore I promise.”  

Tears start to slip out of my eyes that I couldn’t notice the tears that are clouding Paul’s eyes.  I unbuckle my seat beat and scoot over to Paul’s warm welcoming body. I hug him tightly, “thank you.” I feel his arms tighten around me as I cry into his neck, soaking the shoulder of his tee shirt.

“Hey little love it is okay, no more tears; you said something about tattoos, may I see them?” Paul carefully removes my face from his neck and gently wipes the last of my tears.

With a small smile I pull away to take of my cardigan, “you can see one of them, it is actually kind of ironic.” I take off the ace bandage that covers my forearm when I am at school. “I cover it when I am at school.” After my forearm is free, I gently push it towards Paul.

“Is that...a wolf,” he asks gently tracing it.

“Yes, it is. I let my friend Eric practice on me and I must say it hurt and I am lucky it came out as good as it did.”  

“Was this his very first piece.”  

“No, the tattoo that is on my hip is the very first one ever.” I state with a nod.

“You let him see you hip.” He asks with a bit of joking jealously

“Paul I was I crop top,” I laugh, “It was not even like that, he has a girlfriend.”  

“Oh, well could I see it.” he asks wiggling his eyebrows slightly.”

“Maybe one day,” I tease back, “now let’s go play some Ski Ball!” I exclaim before getting out of the truck.