#how much things went wrong with you two...

[chronicowboy]

Eddie calls Chris after the kitchen incident. Buck locks himself away in his room, and Eddie can't blame him for it really. Wishes he had a door he could close on himself. Wishes he could pack it all away into one room and let it drown him. Just for a little while. But he doesn't. Because this isn't his house anymore. It hasn't been for a while.

Instead, he sits on the couch in the dark, hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, and he tries to pinpoint the exact moment it all went wrong. Like he doesn't know. Like he didn't walk into the kitchen itching for it. Wanting to feel something, anything but the grief and the guilt and the desolate helplessness he hasn't been able to escape since the call came in.

He'd just wanted—and maybe it was unfair, but Bobby was gone, so what the fuck was fair?—he'd just wanted Buck to hold him. To ask him what it was like finding out over the phone, so Eddie could fall apart. And Buck would pick up his pieces and stitch them all back together. Fix it the way he always fixes things. And then Eddie would have been solid enough to do the same for Buck.

But no. The blunt, bludgeoning stones of their grief had caught each other, sparking in the charged air of the kitchen and catching light. Neither of them stood a chance.

Eddie sighs. Scrubs a rough hand down his face. Glances back at the hallway. He could get up, go knock on Buck's door and say he's sorry, say they can figure this out together. He could. Except Eddie's not sure he can. He's not sure he knows how to fix this. Can it even be fixed? They lost Bobby. And instead of finding comfort in shared grief, they used the sharp edge of it to sever their bond, rip a chasm in the ground between them.

He doesn't know how to fix this, and for once, he thinks Buck has no idea either.

Eddie catches sight of the time on his watch, curses as he lunges for his phone on the coffee table. It's an hour past the time he normally calls Christopher to check-in. Fuck. He can only hope his parents haven't herded Chris up to bed yet. He hits the call button and brings it up to his ear, leg bouncing as he waits for—

"Hey, Dad." His voice is so soft, so steady it brings tears to Eddie's eyes almost instantly. He squeezes his eyes shut, screws up his face, takes a deep breath.

"Hey, Chris." His voice, however, is rough and trembling, broken.

"You okay?" Chris asks, sweet baby, Eddie wishes he was here, wishes he could send Chris down the hall to knock on Buck's door and give him the hug Eddie so wishes he was gentle enough to offer. But no, his hands were made for pushing and shoving and hurting.

"Eh." Eddie laughs wetly. "Been better, kid."

"Want to talk about it?" God. Yeah. Yeah, he does. Except, this is another thing he's not sure he knows how to do. Doesn't know how he ended up on this couch alone in the dark and desperate for something he can't even put a name to.

"I messed up." He sighs, sniffs, shakes his head. "I really messed up with Buck, bud."

"He'll forgive you." And it's immediate. So goddamn sure. There's a faith to it that Eddie thinks he's never felt in his whole life. If he was standing, it would have brought him to his knees. "What happened?"

"I told Hen I finally got hired by EPFD, and she told Chimney, and Chimney told Ravi, and he let it slip to Buck before I had chance to tell him." Eddie should have known. A family of fucking loose lips. "He was hurt, and then he brought Bobby into it, and I just... Snapped." He huffs out a breath, bites down on the lump in his throat, lets it bleed bitter guilt down his esophagus.

And that was it really. That was why it had taken him two weeks to book a planet ticket. Because he couldn't face coming home—back to LA—just to look in the eyes of the people who were there. He knew he'd find no blame there, but still. He wondered if somewhere inside themselves they'd think he didn't deserve his grief half as much as they did because he was the one who left.

He'd hoped when he got to the airport, when Buck had got him home, when all was said and done, Buck would read the guilt on him plain as day. Would wrap him up and tell him that it was okay, that he was allowed to feel it, that this grief was theirs, and they'd shoulder it together. But Buck had been bouncing around houses carrying out psych evals and holding himself together with that shitty off-brand tape that never stays down at the corners. And Eddie's hands were only made for breaking, so what the hell was he supposed to do about it?

"I don't know how to fix this, Chris." Eddie bites at his lip, sits back, looks up at the ceiling to stop the tears from rolling. "I wish you were here. I think you'd be able to fix him with just a hug."

The silence that comes down the line has Eddie's heart leaping. He's pushed too far. Too soon. This is still the city he left. Still the house Eddie tarnished forever.

"Actually, I've been thinking..." Christopher clears his throat and gets quiet in that mousy way that means he's not quite sure how to say it. "I thought, maybe, maybe I could come home?"

And Chris starts rambling about how Buck and Eddie need him and how he misses Bobby and everyone else and how he'd like to see them again, but Eddie's back on the floor of his bedroom with a hand pressed over his mouth, choking on silent sobs.

Home.

"And I know you're pretty broke right now and plane tickets are super expensive and you'd never let me fly on my own but—"

"Chris," he croaks. Christopher's mouth snaps shut. "Chris, do you mean it?"

"Yeah, Dad. You were there for me when Buck was in his coma. Now, I want to be there for Buck now Bobby's—gone."

"God, kid, what the hell did we do to deserve you?"

"Beats me," Chris mumbles cheekily. Eddie barks a laugh.

"I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too."

God. He's never gonna get used to that.

"Pepa's still visiting Abuela, right?" Chris hums in assent. "Right, okay, so I-I'll call her and see if she wouldn't mind flying home with you tomorrow and then I'll book you tickets and we'll figure it out, okay?"

"The three of us will figure it out," Chris tells him. And somehow Eddie knows that he's not talking about Pepa.

[saturnyo]

Heyyo, if you're still taking request, could I request a Joel x reader smut

They're in situationship and Joel keeps trying to push reader away and socializing with other women until he sees reader with another older guy instead of a guy around her age(maybe a 10 year or less age gap) and Joel says fuck it, she's mine.

His to Ruin

Thanks to anon for this. I had a lot of fun writing about possessive Joel. Hope you enjoy !!! :)

Pairing: Joel/Reader

Summary: Joel was the boss, but that didn't stop an attraction forming between you. Your relationship was purely physical, no romance of any kind. You tried to have dates and other relationships knowing the back and forth wasn't good but he did everything in his power to keep you to himself no matter the cost

WC: over 3k words

Warnings: not too much dialogue, a bit of smut, power imbalance

Even at 3 a.m., the city streets were alive, the constant traffic flow muted yet steady as it moved beneath rows of flickering streetlights. Porch lights and convenience stores dotted the blocks, their windows spilling soft light onto the sidewalk. Neighbors, many lost in their own world, and the occasional laughter or conversation blended into an endless hum.

The go-go, fast pace of Austin feels muffled as you remember the last time Joel's lips were on your body. He explored every curve like it was braille, and he was figuring out the language of your bare soul. He knew too much about you, but somehow very little at the same time. Entering into a relationship with him was complicated from the start. There was a bit of a power imbalance with him being your boss and having to see him at work every day, watching him work those muscles as if they didn't pin your arms to bed the night before.

Well relationship is a bit too much to describe, whatever it is between you. it's more of like when he or you are horny in the middle of the night or even a quickie in his office so he can fuck you so deep making you moan like a banshee to where there would be noise complaints. That's the type of "relationship" you two have.

The things he's done to you in bed, in the kitchen, in the living room, and in his car while the two of you were on break would make a nun blush. No matter how much you tried to end it, knowing this back and forth, no attachment deal wasn't good, every time he texted I miss you twenty minutes later, you were in his bed and his name on your lips. Purely carnal desire with no true feelings involved

Your mind clearly doesn't function well in Joel's presence. You were on drugs, and he gave you your fix every time he made you scream his name like a devotee worshipping their god.

His head was between your legs, and his tongue was expertly circling your clit as you saw stars and were in absolute heaven.

There was one thing neither of you could forget. Something you two agreed on at the very beginning

Do. Not. Fall. In. Love.

And yet there were signs. Little slip ups you couldn't ignore. Like how he always just happened to show up when you were on a date. Those dates always ended early because they had to leave, or something went wrong. Every time you requested time off, Joel suddenly needed you at the office for something urgent, like he couldn’t function without you standing beside him.

But the second you started to open up a bit more emotionally, Joel backed away like your presence disgusted him

If you savored his kiss for a moment too long, or your hand resting on his arm was just a bit too gentle, he would step away as if you burned him or committed the worst act of betrayal

There was a moment when you asked him to stay the night so you wouldn't feel lonely for once. You try to plant a kiss on his lips, a tender one, different from the soul punishing kisses he would give you. But he quickly turned away

You tried to play it off and acted like it didn't sting. Which was probably the biggest lie you ever told yourself. You stopped trying after that.

Joel constantly made it clear that it was just sex, no love, no partnership, just purely physical.

He confused you with his actions. Saying one thing but doing something that spelled out the complete opposite

The way his hand would gently brush your shoulder as you went over work plans for the day. He would also randomly remember things about you. Bringing you gifts ranging from a small snack from the store to a brand new piece of jewelry whenever a job you two worked on was completed. He would also remember how you hated cheese pizza but loved pepperoni. Joel kept your favorite drink in the work fridge in his office, where you were the only one in the entire company who had access.

He wanted you close but still at arm's length. Wanting no one else to have you, but still not changing the nature of what your relationship is with him. Date after date and woman after woman it's like he made sure you saw him or somehow knew what he was doing. But like an idiot, you stayed, hoping and waiting for him to say I love you like one of those angry love confessions in a romcom.

You were ok is a mantra repeating in your head 24/7 until you saw him with another woman. That night, you decided to go out for a drink, and Joel, for once, didn't bombard you with texts and phone calls, which was strange, but you took it in stride and decided to have fun. Shot after shot that you threw back, ignoring the burning sensation running down your throat, trying to forget the gruff grey haired man with a sweet southern drawl.

Fate had other plans for you, it seems

Sitting at the bar, you see Joel at the other end, but he wasn't alone. A beautiful woman was sitting beside him, rubbing her hand on his thigh, seemingly trying to convince him to come home with her. She was gorgeous, and you can see why he was on a date with her. But the sudden rush of jealousy that coursed through your veins. The walls closed in on you as she flashed a sweet smile, like she belonged there beside Joel.

Heat rose in your cheeks as the cold, shaky feeling settled in your heart. You didn't realize how long you were staring at him until someone walked up to your table trying to get your attention. Your eyes finally tear away from Joel as you take in the man in front of you. He had his hair slicked back with a few strands falling over his forehead. His leather jacket accentuated his arms as they bulged slightly against the fabric, but they weren't as big as Joel's.

His eyes were a light grey like clouds on a stormy day. This man was handsome, of course, but he just wasn't Joel. Even from across the bar, a pair of eyes burned into the back of your head. out of the corner of your eye, his brown ones were suddenly filled with malice and ill intent. Ignoring him and his possible hissy fit, you turned your attention back to the guy in front of you.

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” The guy asked. His pickup line was so painfully awkward and cheesy that it made you want to vomit. But you forced a sweet smile, acting like it was the smoothest thing you ever heard.

"Name's Jake, and you are?"

"Y'N"

You could still feel Joel staring Jake down like he would commit murder. This was your payback.

Joel felt he was being tortured but by his own hand. It was his fault that you were now being felt up by some other guy instead of him. He wanted to just walk over there and just beat the shit out of him leaving the bastard a bloody beatened pulp. It was only supposed to be his hands exploring your body, but deep down, he knew he was a hypocrite. Here he is on a date, his hands on another woman while simultaneously hating yours. Keeping you at arm's length was to protect himself from being hurt, especially after being cheated on and divorced. Lately though his feelings grew beyond just wanting to fuck something to get the edge off after a long day. He started to really look forward to seeing your beautiful smile and smelling your vanilla scented perfume every time he headed into work. His day didn't start off right if he couldn't.

The night went on with back and forth looks, challenging each other in some petty game. Finally, having had enough, you decided to leave and go home.

"Lemme take you home," Jake said. "It's the gentleman's thing to do."

You were drunk, not even enough where you couldn't remember where you were, but enough to agree with him taking you back instead of getting an Uber. Jake's hands on your waist as he slowly guided you out the door felt warm and...gentle. Like you were a porcelain doll that would break at the slightest jolt.

You hated it

But you needed to forget Joel, even just for a night.

Standing outside the bar as you waited for Jake to get his car, Joel decided to come and ruin the obvious fun you were having.

"Y/N? What the hell are you doin’ here?"His voice dropped low, rough with warning. His jaw clenched as he looked past you to the man at your side. "You leavin’ with him? Sugar, you don’t even know this guy. That’s not safe—and you damn well know it." He stepped closer, voice tighter now. "Let me take you home, Darlin’. Please. Don’t make me watch you walk off with some stranger like it don’t matter."

His calloused hands, made by years of hard construction work, gripped your arms tightly but not enough to make you wince. You stepped away from him, tears welling in your eyes.

"Why are you doing this, Joel?" Your chest stuttered as a quiet sob fell from your lips. "You don't want a relationship, but here you are ruining any other potential ones I can have."

His beautiful brown eyes softened when he saw you crying. Guilt panged in his chest. He didn't mean for it to go this far. He didn't mean to care so much.

Joel's hand caresses your cheek, leaning into it as you start to waver beneath his touch. Why can't you just give him up?

You hear a voice calling your name as you see Jake walk up to you, concern etched on his face. Pushing Joel away, already missing the smell of his cedar and whiskey smell of his clothes as you walked towards Jake.

"Is everything ok, Y/N?" Jake asks, trying to be intimidating towards Joel. "Is he bothering you?"

You see Joel's jaw clenched and his fists balled up tightly, barely restraining himself.

Joel didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t need to. “This ain't your business, pal,” he said, calm as a rattlesnake. “She’s with me. Walk away.”

Jake's eyes widened in fear, mortified and stuck in place like he was turned to stone by Medusa. He sees Joel's hand rest on your hip as his face twists into a look of disgust

"Oh...i see," his voice filled with venom. "you are just a slut sleeping with whatever man you can sink your claws into"

That was Joel's final straw as the sound of his fist connecting to skin threw Jake to the ground. He didn't waste a moment picking you up, cradling you gently in his arms as he placed you into his truck. The door loudly slammed shut as the sound of the truck's engine rumbled to life.

You finally pull into the driveway, jumping out of the truck before it even comes to a complete stop. You're angry, livid, even at Joel’s actions.

The man who claims not to want anything romantic just ruined your chance at something with someone else.

Granted, that guy turned out to be a jerk. But still. This wasn’t the first time Joel had done this.

“For fuck’s sake, would you just wait a damn minute?” Joel’s voice is rough, like gravel dragged across concrete. “I ain’t done talkin’ to you.”

You ignore him. Your keys jingle in your hand as you try to unlock the front door, fingers fumbling in your slightly drunken state. The mix of alcohol and anger makes it worse. You keep dropping them, cursing under your breath, before finally getting the door open.

Joel stomps in right behind you, blocking the door before you can slam it in his face. He shuts the door behind him before grabbing your arm, pulling you in for a kiss.

This kiss was different. It wasn't one that was demanding; it was gentle, as if Joel was pouring every unspoken word into it. His lips were soft, memorizing the shape of yours. There was no urgency and no need to rush, but just the moment you are now in. Both of you found yourselves stumbling into your bedroom, desperate to be closer together, to remove the clothes that are between you.

You needed to feel him, to anchor yourself

Tugging the hem of his shirt over his head, seeing the same happy trail you have many times before. Joel's gaze never leaves your face, committing every inch to memory. There was something deeper within it now. more than lust but something reverent. The many times before you had sex with Joel was good too but this was...fucking amazing. Every feeling, every touch, every time he held back was now released onto you, not being able to hold it back any longer.

The air charged as each piece of your and Joel's clothing fell onto the floor.

His hands rubbed over your hips, learning your body like he was going to live forever. Joel kissed down your neck as you both sank deep into the mattress with him above you, his weight keeping you in the moment.

"You okay, Darlin?"

"I'm more than ok."

He places light kisses across your collarbone as he pushes your leg aside, sinking deep inside you. You arch your back at the feeling, he felt perfect, making you moan into his ear, driving him to go faster.

"Y/N..."

Joel moans your name like a devout priest on his knees praying for salvation. You moved your hips in rhythm with his thrusts, creating more delicious friction as his hands grip your thighs, marking you. In that moment, time and space had no meaning; it was just you and him

You

*Thrust*

are

*Thrust*

Mine

The amazing feeling that Joel gives you is threatening to spill over. You clung to him, your nails digging into his back, leaving indents in his skin. Your body unravels beneath his every thrust, every gasp whispers his name, coiling tight until your climax crashes like a wave against a shore.

You cried out his name, your voice raw with need, breaking whatever restraint Joel had left.

"Fuck Y/N..." he groaned, burying his face into your neck as he drove his cock into you a few more times harder and faster. his own body shuddered against yours as he spilled into you filling you up until it's dripping out of your wet cunt. He held you close as he chased his own release as if you were tethering him to the earth.

The sound of steady breaths fills the room with the soft creak of the bed as Joel shifts to lay beside you cradling you to his chest. He didn't immediately pull away like he normally does. He stayed there slowlymoving his fingers up and down your back as you lazily draped your leg over his grounding yourself in this moment.

Joel presses a kiss on your forehead, an act so simple yet it made your breath hitch at the tenderness of such a sweet gesture.

"You ok, Darlin?" Joel asked more gently this time

You nodded, your eyes drifting close as sleep began to overtake you. "I'm more than okay."

A deep chuckle bubbles up from Joel's chest. It sounded perfect. There was no rush to speak, no need to fill the silence. it was enough to just be....

Whatever you and Joel had between you changed tonight. It wasn't just sex anymore

His fingers slowly tilted your chin up, gazing into big brown eyes.

"I meant what I said," he murmurs. "You are mine".

You kissed him slowly and softly, "And you're mine."

[jinjoohaa]

PROFESSOR TOJI X READER !!

Private Lessons

He said he wouldn’t tolerate distractions in his class—but you became his favorite one to fail, punish, and keep after hours.

You weren’t late on purpose — not really. Maybe just a little.

The last thing you expected was a new tutor. Let alone him.

You burst into the classroom, breath caught in your throat, winded from your sprint up the stairs. You hadn’t even fixed your hair before walking in, muttering an apology as you brushed past rows of chairs.

And that’s when your eyes landed on him.

He stood at the front — tall, broad-shouldered, built like a man who did more than just lift pens and scold students. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal thick forearms, veins like wires under taut skin. His shirt, fitted and black, clung to his chest in a way that felt unfair to existence. A hint of tattoo ink teased from beneath the cuff. And his eyes… cold, sharp, unforgiving.

You nearly tripped.

He didn’t flinch. “Seat. Now.”

You obeyed faster than your pride allowed.

“I’m Toji Fushiguro,” he said, not bothering with a smile.

“Newly assigned to handle criminology until the board finds someone better. You’re all in final year, so I don’t expect to babysit. You’re adults. Act like it.”

Silence.

One boy cleared his throat. Toji turned to him. “Got something to say?”

The boy shrank.

Toji’s gaze swept across the room. “I don’t tolerate cheating, laziness, or idiotic questions. Don’t waste my time — and I won’t waste yours.”

He didn’t look at you again. But you were already hooked.

Something about him — the deep voice, the no-nonsense glare, the sheer dominance of his presence — settled into your skin like a fever.

You were old enough, a college girl who’d dated enough men to know none of them ever made you feel. Not like this. Not even close.

The rest of the class? They hated him by week two.

He was harsh, brutal with his words, and didn’t hesitate to call people out for late submissions or low marks. But you? You adored it.

You found excuses to stay back after class. Asked questions that didn’t even relate to criminology. You leaned over his desk too often. Let your hand linger too long when handing in assignments. You knew what you were doing — and you didn’t care.

Toji barely acknowledged it. Sometimes he’d sigh and mutter, “Try harder,” like he wasn’t noticing how your skirt rode up just a little too high when you crossed your legs.

But behind that indifference, you saw it — the flicker in his eyes. The strain in his jaw.

You were testing him. And you were going to win.

You failed the mock test on purpose.

Every answer you bubbled in was deliberate — not completely wrong, but just enough to tank your grade. Everyone else passed.

Toji’s expression when he flipped through your paper was priceless — a mix of fury and disbelief. You caught it from your seat near the back. His eyes flicked up, locking on yours. You smirked. He didn’t.

The next day, right as class started, he tossed the graded papers onto the desk.

“Everyone passed,” he said, tone sharp. “Except one.”

The room went silent. You didn’t flinch.

“To the one who thinks this is funny — who thinks playing games is cute — congratulations.” His voice boomed across the classroom like a slap. “You just bought yourself extra time with me.”

He picked up your test, red circles and question marks bleeding over the paper.

“Y/N,” he called. “Front. Now.”

You stood, hips swinging just a little too much as you walked down the aisle. Toji didn't bother hiding the disdain in his face.

He held up your paper between two fingers like it was something foul.

“This? This isn’t a joke. You want to fail in front of your father, your future employers, and anyone with half a brain? Go ahead. But not under my watch.”

You bit your lip, eyes gleaming.

“Are you done scolding me, sir?” you said, voice just shy of mocking. “Or should I get on my knees too?”

The classroom gasped. A few students looked away.

Toji’s jaw clenched.

“Library,” he said coldly. “Tomorrow. Six PM. You’re retaking this in front of me. Don’t show up dressed like you’re going to a party.”

He walked back to the board, dismissing the room with a wave of his hand.

You’d never felt more alive than when you put on that little black crop top. Thin, clingy, low-cut. The skirt barely covered your thighs. But you wore a jacket over it — modest enough to pass the day unnoticed.

Evening fell. You walked into the library with your books in hand, your jacket zipped high.

Toji was already seated at the far end of a long wooden table, a mock test in front of him and a single pen beside it.

He didn’t look up when you entered.

“Sit.”

You obeyed, heart pounding.

He passed you the paper. “You have an hour. No bullshit.”

You clicked your pen. “Of course, sir.”

Thirty minutes in, the library had thinned out. Students packed up and filtered out as the evening darkened.

You kept writing — and slowly, slowly, you reached up and unzipped your jacket.

Toji didn’t react at first. But when the fabric slipped off your shoulders, revealing your tight top, bare arms, and the deep swell of your cleavage…

He stilled.

You shifted in your seat, chest rising as you leaned forward to write. The bounce was deliberate. So was the way you tilted your head just enough to let your lips part.

Toji’s eyes darkened.

You kept writing, pretending not to notice the way his hand dropped beneath the table — slow, rough — palming the hard bulge in his pants.

Minutes passed. You watched him from the corner of your eye.

“Sir,” you finally said, voice saccharine, “I’m done with the test. You can finish playing with yourself at home.”

His hand froze.

He stood abruptly, slamming your paper shut. You barely had time to smirk before he grabbed your wrist.

“Sir—?”

He dragged you between the towering library shelves, deeper, darker — where the cameras couldn’t see.

He turned on you, eyes blazing. “You think this is a game?”

“I think,” you said breathlessly, “you’ve been waiting to fuck me since the moment I walked into class.”

Toji’s nostrils flared. “You little—”

His hand slammed above your head against the shelf. “You’ve been teasing me all semester. Dressing like that. Talking like that.”

“I just wanted your attention, sir.”

“Well,” he growled, “now you’ve got it.”

His body towered over you, heat pouring off him like smoke. You could barely breathe with how close he stood — the scent of musk, the sharpness of cologne, the raw fury in his eyes as his arm caged you in against the shelf.

“You’ve got my attention now?” he echoed, voice low and rough, like gravel grinding between teeth.

“You think flashing your tits and failing tests makes you special?”

You swallowed, lips parted, trying to speak — but your throat was tight, your breath shallow. His hand dropped from the shelf and caught your jaw instead, thumb pressing into your cheek just hard enough to make your eyes sting.

“I should make you kneel right here,” he muttered, dragging your face up so your eyes locked.

“Let every fucking book in this place witness what a desperate little brat you are.”

Your thighs clenched. “Then do it.”

Something snapped.

His hand flew down, grabbing the back of your neck, and spun you around so fast your jacket slid off your arms. He bent you forward over the shelf, the hard edge biting into your ribs as your cheek met the wood.

“You don’t get to give me orders,” he snarled into your ear.

“You gave up that right the second you walked into class with those fuck-me eyes.”

You moaned — softly, involuntarily — and he laughed, dark and dangerous.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s what I thought.”

His hand slid under your skirt, fingers trailing up your thigh, rough palms dragging goosebumps in their wake. You gasped when his thumb brushed your soaked panties.

“So fucking wet already?” he mocked. “Whoring for your professor now, huh?”

“Only for you,” you whispered, pushing your hips back, begging for more.

“Say it louder.”

“Only for you, Sir,” you said again, voice trembling.

That earned you a slap — not to your ass, but to your cunt, right through the fabric. Your knees nearly buckled.

“You don’t even know what you’re asking for,” he hissed.

He yanked your panties down to your knees and ran two fingers along your folds, spreading your slick across your entrance. He leaned in again, pressing his chest to your back.

“I could ruin you,” he said, lips brushing your ear.

“Use you. Fill you so deep you won’t stop dripping me for days.”

Your mouth dropped open, a moan escaping.

“Please—”

“Please what?”

“Please do it.”

His fingers stilled at your entrance. You were shaking now — with anticipation, with heat, with the ache of being so close to something you’d craved for weeks.

Toji chuckled darkly. “Beg for it.”

You whimpered. “Sir—please.”

“That’s not begging.”

His fingers slipped just barely inside you — a tease, a ghost of what you needed — then disappeared completely. You almost sobbed.

“I want your cock,” you said shakily.

“I want you to use me, right here, right now. I want you to fuck me--- please.”

He hissed through his teeth.

“Good girl.”

He unbuckled his belt with one hand, the sound sharp and final in the quiet of the library. You heard the zipper next — felt the thud of something heavy against the back of your thigh. Then his fingers returned, this time rougher, pushing deep inside you without warning.

You gasped, hands clawing at the shelf.

“Fuck,” he muttered, curling his fingers, watching your body twitch.

“Tight. Of course you are.”

He pumped them in and out, quick and deep, until your thighs shook and your knees went weak. Then, without a word, he pulled them out — and replaced them with his cock.

You cried out. He didn’t give you time to adjust. Just bottomed out, one long, ruthless thrust that knocked the air from your lungs.

“That what you wanted, slut?” he growled into your ear, pulling back to slam into you again.

“Me fucking you like a toy? Is that it?"

“Yes,” you breathed, tears prickling at your lashes from the intensity. “God, yes—!”

He grabbed your hair and yanked your head back as he fucked into you, hard and fast, the sounds of skin slapping echoing between the bookshelves.

“You’re so fucking desperate,” he said.

“Acting innocent in front of your friends, but all it takes is one cock to make you fall apart.”

You could barely respond. The way he filled you — thick and unrelenting — made it impossible to think. He angled his hips, hitting that spot deep inside that made your whole body jolt.

You clawed at the shelf. "Sir—gonna—!”

He slapped your ass, hard. “Not yet.”

Your moan broke off into a gasp.

“You don’t get to come,” he said through clenched teeth, still pounding into you. “Not until I say so.”

Your legs trembled, thighs soaked and shaking under the force of each thrust. The shelf rattled with every movement, your cheek pressed to the cool wood as you whimpered for him, breath fogging against the books you’d long forgotten.

“Sir—please,” you sobbed. “Please let me—”

He yanked your head back again, forcing you to look over your shoulder at him. His expression was furious — not with anger, but restraint. His jaw tight, eyes darker than you’d ever seen, chest rising like a man barely hanging on.

“Beg like you mean it.”

You swallowed hard, voice cracking. “I need to come, sir. Please. I’ll do anything, just—please. I can’t take it—”

He groaned low, like your desperation hit him somewhere deep. “Fucking brat.”

Then he flipped you.

In one swift motion, he pulled out and spun you around, hoisting you up by your thighs and pressing your back to the shelf. Books toppled behind you, forgotten. He entered you again — deeper, somehow rougher in this new angle, forcing you to wrap your legs around him as he filled you to the hilt.

You cried out, hands flying to his shoulders.

“I should ruin you for this,” he growled, thrusting up into you with a pace that made your mind blur.

“I should fuck you so hard you forget your goddamn name.”

“I already have,” you whispered.

His head dropped to your shoulder, teeth grazing your skin. “Fuck.”

His hand found your throat, squeezing just enough to remind you who was in control. Not hard — not cruel — but commanding. Possessive.

“This cock,” he muttered against your ear. “This what you wanted, doll?”

“Yes,” you gasped.

He pulled back just enough to stare down at you, sweat at his brow, lip curled. “Then take it. Take all of it.”

And he fucked you like he meant it — brutal, deep, possessive. You bounced in his arms, moaning into the crook of his neck, nails digging into his back as your orgasm coiled like fire in your belly.

“I’m gonna come,” you whispered brokenly. “Please—please, Sir—”

“Come for me.”

That was all it took.

Your whole body tensed, then shattered around him — wave after wave of pleasure crashing down. Your vision blurred, mouth open in a silent cry as you clenched around his cock.

He cursed loudly, slamming into you once, twice more before spilling inside with a growl, his whole body seizing with release.

Silence.

Only your ragged breaths filled the air, your limbs shaking, your forehead resting against his.

Then Toji pulled out slowly, setting you down on shaky legs.

His eyes lingered on your ruined expression, the mess between your thighs, the flush on your chest.

“Library’s closed,” he muttered, tucking himself back into his pants.

“Let’s get you cleaned up before someone catches us.”

You blinked up at him. “That’s it?”

He smirked. “Oh no, doll. That was just the first lesson. And i'mma teach you a whole semester."

.

[noneofyoubeewax]

Lady Marvel, No Captain  Marvel

Genderbent Captain  Marvel

Billy Batson -> Lilly Batson

Still a homeless baby

Lilly first debut as a hero. After defeating Doctor Sivana

Male Civilian: “Thank you so much Miss?”

Cap: “o-oh Captain Marvel!”

(M) Civilian: “thank you so much, Miss Captain  Marvel”

Cap: “you can just call me Captain”

(M) Civilian: “Miss Captain”

Cap: “Just Captain”

Lilly was a bit annoyed but she thought it would be a one time thing (it would not be)

———————————————————————

Reporter: “ Lady Marvel! Lady Marvel! Lady Marvel!” (Waving hands frantically)

Cap: (confuse, looking around) “me?”

Reporter: “um yes”

Cap: (flys down to the reporter) “hello I’m Captain Marvel, how can I help you?

Reporter: (holds mic up) “Lady Captain Marvel can yo-”

Cap: “No…..Captain Marvel”

Reporter: “ok, um so this miss, (faces the camera) “today we have our new local hero, Miss Captain Marvel”

Cap: “um-if-I-excuse me, it’s Captain Marvel you can drop the Miss, please”

.

.

.

Reporter: “o-ok”

~~~~~~*A~w~k~w~a~r~d*~~~~~~

———————————————————————

Cap chilling on a roof, licking a ice cream feeling upset since everyone keeps on calling her wrong even after a whole year from her debut and her popping the time bubble.

Cap: “stupid stupid stupid stupid”

Solomon: “calm down Champion”

Achilles: “the next time someone says the wrong name punch them”

Solomon: “n-

Hercules: “ throw a building at them”

Solomon: “NO!”

Zeus: “YES, and tell them that you’re going to sleep with their father or male Parent figure and give a worthy respectable Child”

Cap: ”umm”

Atlas: “let’s ignore Zeus”

Mercury: “just don’t save them if they get your name wrong”

Solomon: “No! It’s not the champion job to get annoyed when people get your name wrong”

Achilles: “you got mad at that kid at the history museum Lilly went to (because it was free entry day) when a kid called you, “Solo-mom”

Solomon: “she completely butchered my name”

Zeus: “OH YEAH THAT WAS HILARIOUS”

Cap: “I remember the headache. But I have a right to be upset! It’s been a year and I’m starting to feel unappreciated, I saved so many lives and I popped the time bubble, is it so wrong for wanting people to save my name right!”

Solomon: “Lillian, I kno-“

Mercury: “just walk away-

Achilles: “I SAY-

Zeus: “I know a thing or two about getting-

Atlas: “LETS remember Lilly is a child and has a right to her own feelings-

Hercules:”CRUSH THEIR BONES”

Gods: “ overlapping argument”

Cap: “urgh guys please”

Gods: arguing continues and gets louder

Cap: (head pounding)

???: “excuse me Miss

Gods: “!?#**?!!”

Cap: (Rubbing head)

???: “miss? I’m fr-m j—ti-e le—ue”

Gods: “!/!#~\**?!!”

Cap: “please you’re being to loud”

???: “lo-d? Mi-s Miss M-ss”

Cap: “please”

???: “Mis -iss, MISS CAPTAIN MARVEL”

You could hear the snap

Cap: That’s. Not. My. NAME!! ( turns around and throws her ice cream with Mercury speed)

It’s was when the ice cream was only few inches from hitting the person face, when she realized that the man she see saw in front of her was a new face that she learned of when the time bubble popped.

Superman, a founding leader of the justice league, who didn’t have a fast enough reaction time to match Mercury speed to avoid the ice cream.

Cap: !

Gods: !

Hercules: “that guy’s important right?”

Solomon: “yes”

Cap: “oh no”

Solomon: “indeed”

[made-of-stars03]

You Are A Hero

Summary: Bucky comes home to you after the events of Thunderbolts* in need of some comfort.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes (post Thunderbolts*) X reader. No use of y/n. She/her pronouns.

Warnings/tags: just fluff and kissing, slight discussion of Bucky’s past trauma.

Note: This is my first fic ever, I’m terrified to post it. So I apologize in advance for any horrible grammar, typos, or just bad writing.

You were in the kitchen cleaning up after making dinner when you heard a motorcycle pull into the driveway. That was one of your favorite sounds because it meant Bucky was home and safe. The front door was opening as you walked into the entryway. There he stood in his black T-shirt and tactical gear. You smiled at him as you wiped your hand on a dish towel. Silently wondering where his helmet and jacket had ended up. Bucky didn’t pause or speak as he entered. He walked towards you with what can only be described as a man on a mission. He dropped his tactical belt with a swift motion and without a care as he reached for you.

“Welcome home soldi-”

was all you could get out before Bucky’s hands cupped your face and he kissed your lips. His normal tenderness was replaced with a desperation that took you by surprise. His lips moved feverishly against yours while his hands held your face steady. His tongue brushed against your lips begging for permission. With the dish towel quickly tossed to the side and forgotten, the familiar haze began to creep into your mind as your body caught up to Bucky’s intentions. Soon his hands were tilting your head upwards as his mouth hungrily descended down your neck, nipping and sucking, as he went.

“Bucky”

You softly moaned as he hit that sensitive spot underneath your ear.

“Say that again.”

Bucky softly demanded as he returned to your face. Not pausing in his mission to slowly devour you.

“Bucky”

You said, against his lips. Always more than happy to follow orders, as his lips and tongue continued to make all the butterflies in your stomach awaken and your blood heat to a familiar level. Bucky guided your arms around his neck.

“Jump baby.”

Bucky said as his hands slid down your body to your thighs. You jumped, and Bucky began to carry you towards the bedroom you shared. As he carried you, he rained kisses down the other side of your neck. Soon a feeling began to cut through the fog created by Bucky’s affection. Something wasn’t quite right; Bucky was very much a look in my eyes type of lover. It had always been longing gazes and eye contact with you two. He hasn’t looked me in the eye once, you thought .

“Bucky, baby, look at me.”

You said as he sucked on your neck and entered the bedroom. He didn’t stop but began to nuzzle under your chin, softly pressing kisses to the underside.

“Bucky. Look. At. Me.”

Your voice more stern as you tapped his back, knowing you were about to reach the bed.

“Stop.”

Bucky instantly froze at the word, his head still tucked under your chin. Holding you directly above the bed but unmoving.

“Please, just look at me.”

You tilted your head down to whisper in his ear as your hands moved into his hair. His hesitation made your heart stutter with anxiety. Knowing how he liked to hide and lock himself away when something was wrong rather than cause you to worry.

“James.”

You feel Bucky’s muscles relax at the name.

“Please.”

Bucky slowly lifts his head and looks at you. Your heart shatters as you see tears brimming in his eyes. The lines on his face that you love to trace are deeply etched in a way that lets you know something happened. As Bucky’s eyes linger on yours, he slowly lowers you, and your feet touch the floor. His head hanging down with hair falling forward, you cup his jawline, looking up at him.

“How bad?”

You ask simply.

“I just had to face some things I haven’t thought about in a while.”

Bucky says softly as his eyes drop to the floor. You didn’t need to speak; you knew he would open up when he was ready. So you wait and stroked his cheek with your thumb. Bucky slowly raises his eyes and looked at you with a tenderness that could melt you to your very core.

“I had to face …..my worst moments. The fall, Hydra, Steve.”

He pauses like it physically hurts to say the next thing.

“And, that night, with you.”

He shook his head. Slowly standing to full height, he placed his hands over yours and removed them from his face. You instantly knew the memory as you watched Bucky step out of your grasp and turn, beginning to pace.

“We’ve gone over this, baby. I’m fine; you weren’t yourself; the nightmare caused that reaction.”

“See, you say it, and I know you mean it, but. If I wouldn’t have realized. What I almost…”

Bucky ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends in frustration.

You step towards him and reach out, first taking his flesh hand and then his metal one.

“I know you, James Buchanan Barnes. You may think you hide little bits and pieces from me behind your walls, but nope, I see you.”

The resentment begins to melt from his frame, and a small smile plays at the corner of his lips.

“You would never intentionally hurt me, ever. Now hear me loud and clear when I say this.”

For dramatic effect, you squeeze both his hands and raise your eyebrows, putting on the serious face that Bucky often laughs at and calls adorable.

“You are a hero. A true, save-the-day, play-the-theme-song, girls-screaming-your-name-as-you-pass-by hero. As much as we hate Valentina, that’s one thing she got right. You are an Avenger, my love. I can’t wait to see all the good that you will continue to do. You were too hot to be a Senator anyway.”

You smile up at the man you love, reaching on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Bucky smiles and wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush up against him.

“Well, after that speech, how can a fella not feel special?”

Bucky chuckles as he nuzzles into your neck, making you laugh as he tickles you with his stubbly cheek. Raising his head, you see a familiar mischievous glint in his eye.

“Although there’s really only one girl I’d like to make scream my name.”

He lowers his gaze, and your body instantly ignites.

“Oh, really?”

You attempt to answer casually, knowing what’s about to happen.

“Mmmhhhmmm.”

Bucky responds as he lifts you and carries you to the bed, preparing to show you just how much you mean to him.

[xzinbdg]

NO WAY BRO ❕❕

۶ৎ synopsis: sim y/n, sim jake's sister, has known lee heeseung, her older brother's best friend, for ages. In her mind, he sees her like a little sister, but in reality, he has lost all his girlfriends because of his feelings for her, too bad he's afraid of her brother's reaction.

The silence in the room was extremely loud. Sure, you did forgive him, but there were still things to be said, and that’s why you both ran away from Jake and went to your room to talk.

"So…" Heeseung started nervously, "What did you think of my performance?"

"I mean, the song could have been better, but I’m flattered," you smiled, and there was another minute of silence until Heeseung spoke again.

"Y/N, I know I said it already, but I’m really sorry… I didn’t mean for this to turn out that way…" You smiled softly; damn, you really love that man. "I know, Heeseung… Thank you for not giving up on me." Now, you both were cheesing.

"How about I take you out on a real date?" Heeseung asked. "Would you go with me?" he added.

"Of course," you responded.

Three days later, you found yourself in a pretty pink dress, all dolled up in Heeseung's car. He didn’t tell you much about where you were going; he just told you to "dress up for him," so here you were. The ride wasn’t too long; after about 20 minutes of nice chatting with him, you arrived at your destination. The view before you was beautiful; it was a nice restaurant with tables outside and a pretty stream flowing calmly behind it.

"What do you think?" Heeseung asked.

"It’s so beautiful here," you said, amazed, and he smiled while looking at your cute face.

"Our table is the last one close to the water," he said. "It’s extremely difficult to book it because it’s the best one here." You nodded, admiring his efforts.

The two of you headed inside and sat at your seats. The view was amazing; the moon reflected on the water, making it glimmer. You were truly happy in this moment. The two of you ordered dinner and just talked while enjoying your meal.

"So, umm, Heeseung? What are we?" you asked nervously after preparing yourself to say it.

"What do you want us to be, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Something more than friends…" You avoided his intense gaze.

"It’s good that I feel the same way then." He gave you a smile when you looked at him. "Does that make me your girlfriend?"

"Only if you say yes," he said.

"Yes to what?" you questioned.

"May I be your boyfriend?" you giggled at his words.

"Yes."

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

written part: 399 words.

۶ৎ pairing: brother's best friend!heeseung x reader

۶ৎ genre: smau, brother's bestfriend, forbidden love, angst, fluff, crack

۶ৎ emi's note: HELLO!!! I'm back! sorry for the long absence; it was the holiday season, and then I was about to graduate, and it all just piled up. but I'm back! here’s a question: is it better when I put the second taglist in comments or as a repost? as you can probably notice, I switched natty for wonyoung, and we have sungho as a new character! lastly, kind of on another note, but I'm thinking of coming back to writing for riize! let me know what you think. hope u enjoyed!!

۶ৎ taglist: @callikari @imanalien143 @kekaekeke @4lndr17 @ijustwannareadstuff20 @bejewelledgirl @jokkomizz @octoberoflove @swanwonyoung @mheretoreadff @s1rawb3rry @heeheelee @m1kkso @ayyonoona @augustloaf @lovenha7 @kukkurookkoo @honestlyatomicpanda @httpenhoon @noiiny @i03jae @celli-ohs @lilliansreality @jvngw0nlvr @starbyeol1512 @enhaz1 @lhseungg @sillyyuz @jiaant11 @wintereals @taehyuniesworld @fancypeacepersona @eyesonlybutterflies @yuyita-rosier @right-person-wrong-time @norihoyeon @simjaeyunies @rairaiblog @orimuraa @daniellesyellowhands @n-i4 @w2hoonki @ilovhoonie @jae-n0 @doveblackboat @ningningiloveumarryme @hyunjinslonglegs @jyikeu @reikaxslvr @teddywonss

[johnnysuhbmarine]

Out of Time

Pairing: Chenle x reader Description: You'd be lying if you said feelings weren't caught within the thirteen years of friendship you had with Chenle, but even when you both wanted to be more, you agreed to shut any idea of it down - his future marriage was already arranged as part of a business deal, there was no point setting your hearts up for breaking. So, why is he on your doorstep begging for a chance just three months before he has to go back to China?  Content warnings: Arranged marriage au but not with each other; rich kid Chenle; swearing; they have sex, and while no actual smut is written, it’s not exactly glossed over, either; fluff; angst; there is no happy ending to this part but I promise another part is coming Word count: 16,362 A/n: If you knew how long I’ve been working on this idea, you wouldn’t believe me…but now that this first part is out I’m actually really happy with how it’s come together. The second part should be out in no more than a few weeks (hopefully). Let me know if you want to be on a taglist for it. Posting this today to celebrate @fullsunstrawberry's last day of class for the semester!!…though this ends in angst so it’s not the best gift I’ve ever come up with 🫠 Anyways, please enjoy, though who am I to tell you what to do…as always, feedback would be greatly appreciated. Take care of yourselves, I love you

Your childhood went by too fast. Though, you assume that’s the only way it could feel when it’s the sole marker of the time you were able to have with Chenle. The two of you grew up together, but through conversations you felt you were too young to be involved in, you both knew that you wouldn’t be able to continue with said friendship in adulthood. The thing about Chenle was, he’s lived with his aunt, right across the street from your parents, in a small Korean suburb since he was five years old. However, where he spent the first four years of his life, and where he would eventually be summoned back to, was with his parents in Shanghai. 

There was nothing wrong about his parents. In fact, for most of childhood, Chenle only had positive things to say about them, a wide smile adorning his face whenever he thought of seeing them again. The entire reason he was living with his aunt was because his parents wanted him to experience a normal childhood, so really, they had his best interest at heart. That being said, they did not care about whether or not Chenle would have a normal adulthood. Instead, they were waiting for him to fall in line, learn how to eventually take over their multimillion dollar company, and with that, play his part…and accept the fact that his future marriage, to the daughter of one of their business partners, has been arranged for him since the moment he was born. Finding this out, Chenle no longer had loads of nice things to say about his parents. He lived with a constant resentment towards them since the start of high school, but you were always his one beacon of comfort, where the weight of his future could fall off his shoulders and he could just be a kid again for a little while longer. 

It was the summer before freshman year of high school when your parents and his aunt sat the two of you down at the dinner table and explained how Chenle’s future was going to pan out. You were just fourteen years old, having Chenle suddenly upset and arguing about who he’d be marrying felt so wrong, the problem seemingly so far away. You were kids, but because of that moment, you both grew up too quickly - Chenle by force, and you because you refused to let him go through it alone. The real world, outside of school and pickup basketball games in someone’s driveway, now weighed heavily on the two of you, and the only thing you could promise was that you’d navigate as much of it as you could together. 

The one thing his parents agreed to compromise on was that, rather than having Chenle fly back immediately after high school graduation, he could stick through that last summer with you, and eventually head back to China when you left for university. That’s the exact period of time that the two of you were in now - almost a full three months where the plans that have been talked about for years were now facing you head on. Stupidly, you try to forget about it, pretend it was just some normal summer, like your best friend wasn’t being ripped away from you at the end of it. You were setting yourself up to be blindsided by the inevitable passage of time, but it was all you could think to do if you wanted to hold onto any chance at smiling this summer.

It was the day right after graduation when Chenle hopped across the street and rang your doorbell. It was the middle of the day, your parents still at work, so you had to be the one to slide off the couch and check who was at the door. Normally, Chenle would text you before he came over, and you would have the door already unlocked for his arrival so that he could just barge in and join you on the couch…or immediately grab your wrist, drag you through the kitchen for two glasses of lemonade, and then out the back door for another basketball match. The last thing you expected him to do was ring the doorbell out of nowhere, but more confusingly, when you open the front door to face him, he’s pacing back and forth. His mind seemed to be going a hundred miles a minute, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this distraught before. 

“Chenle?” You prompt, tilting your head at him still making circles in your front walkway. He snaps his head up and stops moving, seeming not to have heard you actually open the door yet and instead leaving him to get surprised by your voice. As he takes in your bewildered state, he does his best to calm himself, correctly assuming he was the reason for it. 

Now, his body faces you full-on, but he still can’t meet your eyes, instead looking towards the ground and sucking on his bottom lip as he figures out what he wants to say. Eventually, he gives up, shaking his head and bringing his gaze up to you with an agitated sigh. “Any way I put this, I come off as an asshole, so please forgive me,” he finally says all at once.

You furrow your brows at him in confusion, your return question bearing a much lighter tone than his own. “What’s up, Chenle?”

He darts his gaze off to the side, biting on his bottom lip again. Though, this contemplation period hardly lasted a second before he’s dropping his head and spitting out his words through one rushed exhale. “Can I be selfish for one summer? Before you go to college? Before I move back to my parents' house? I know we both agreed to be smart enough not to get involved…but before I have to be someone else’s, I want to be yours - even if it’s just for one summer.” 

To say you were thrown off was an understatement, but not necessarily because of his confession. It was no secret the two of you developed feelings for each other. Your parents knew it, his aunt knew it, you knew it, he knew it - there was no use in pretending said feelings didn’t exist. However, being sixteen with those feelings and knowing what you had since you were fourteen made the situation less than average. 

You and Chenle decided the best thing you could do was flesh everything out. So, one random day of sophomore year, you did. An entire evening kicking yourselves for catching feelings, laughing at the fact that it seemed inevitable, and then deciding that the best course of action now was to try and forget about it. You were not the daughter of his wealthy parents’ wealthy business partner, and the two of you quickly learned that there was no changing his parents’ minds on the arranged marriage. There was no reason to try and pretend an outcome could exist where the two of you could work, where you wouldn’t get hurt. It was both, a pro and a con of being forced to grow up - dumb decisions that your childhood was waiting for you to make were never made, and it was so hard to tell which dumb decisions you actually missed out on. 

Chenle was right, the two of you agreed to be smart enough to not get involved, but a part of you was mad that you never took the chance to be a stupid high school kid. It seemed entirely out of left field for Chenle to address the situation again just three months before the beginning of the rest of your lives kicked in, but you’re glad he did.

“One summer for us to make some stupid decisions and break our own hearts?” You echo back, and any trace of hope on Chenle’s face fades away. That is, until you look back at him with a smirk, leaning against your doorframe casually. “Yeah, what the hell. Let’s do it,” you say, and when Chenle whips his head back up to face you in surprise, you can’t stop your smirk from turning into a full smile.

Chenle shakes his head quickly, as though to get rid of all the thoughts on how to respond to a refusal that never came, and instead an easy smile reaches his own face as he looks back at you. “Great! So, can I take you on a date?” 

He’s completely serious as he replies and this is where you’re most taken aback. “Oh, starting off with a date?” You only had three months to be together, and to be quite honest, you thought Chenle was going to skip past all the initial dates and dive right in, knowing that you wouldn’t have given it a second thought if he immediately had you pinned against a wall. You seemed to have greatly underestimated the character of your best friend though, because he shoots back with a sure nod, genuinity filling his next words.

“Well, yeah. I don’t want this to just be a physical thing. I want to be able to say that you were my first love. You were always meant to have that title. I want to remember you that way, not as some no-strings-attached summer fling.” 

You immediately drop your head to face the floor. Chenle must have grown up some more when you weren’t looking. All at once, you don’t know what happened to the loser you grew up with, who learned to shut off his feelings and fill all that space with basketball instead; but now, here he stood, making his intentions very clear in that he planned to spend the summer falling in love with you, and outside of the shock you’ve felt throughout this entire conversation, a new feeling erupts in your stomach - butterflies. 

You look back up at him, regardless of how embarrassingly red you could tell your cheeks were, and a smile reaches your face as soon as the two of you lock eyes. “A date it is,” you say with a nod before stepping back into your house some more and actually letting him inside for a bit. “I’ll have to actually get out of my pajamas,” you say with a laugh. “Any idea of where you want to go?”

Chenle bites on the inside of his cheek before shaking his head. “Well, you know I can take you out on a really fancy date, and if that’s what you want, we can do that. I mean, that’s sure as hell what you deserve…but I was thinking maybe we could just go out to our favorite ice cream shop and then play some basketball.”

Your cheeks puff out in a smile. “So, you wanna hang out?” You tease, and Chenle is quick to shake his head.

“No! I wanna go on a date with you! I know we get ice cream and play basketball a lot, but now I want to do so while also knowing I can go up and kiss you whenever I want.”

You raise an eyebrow playfully. “Oh, now we’re kissing on the first date?” 

Chenle just stares at you in disinterest. “Three months, y/n. That’s all I get. I’m not exactly looking to take things super slow. Besides,” he continues, throwing a sly smirk your way as his own brows raise. “You’re the one who’s been wanting to kiss me for the past two years.”

Your mouth drops into a gape as you swat at him, only succeeding in making him laugh like a dolphin, and while you made fun of his laugh whenever you could, it was also your favorite thing in the world. A certain warmth fills your chest at the sound of it as you simply shake your head. “Whatever. You’ve been wanting to kiss me for the past two years as well. Don’t even pretend otherwise.” He’s still getting over his laughing fit as you finish your sentence, leaving you to just roll your eyes at him as you turn and walk upstairs to your room to change, the front door still hanging open for him to eventually follow you through.

When you come back downstairs after getting ready, Chenle looks you up and down with a smile. “I’ve always liked that skirt on you,” he says casually. You let out a light laugh.

“I know. You weren’t very secretive about it,” you reply playfully, causing a light dusting of pink to cover Chenle’s cheeks.

“Is dating you just going to be a nonstop period of you teasing me?” He finally asks in return. His words make you freeze, though. You only had three months but he was serious about it, serious about you, and you couldn’t help thinking about how great the hurt would be for both of you once it was over.

You shake out of it, you had to, and instead send a wink his way as you rush out the door without him. “I guess you’ll have to just wait and see,” you banter back, and Chenle rolls his eyes before following you out and doing your part in locking up behind him. 

While you were exchanging greetings with the worker on the other side of the ice cream parlor’s bar, Chenle was just continuously poking at your arm. “What?” You finally snap as you turn to him, though no one would ever be able to pick up even the slightest bit of irritation with his antics based off the smile on your face as you looked at him.

Chenle draws in a deep breath as a confidence booster before spitting out his words all at once. “I know we normally get our own milkshakes and finish them, but if you wanted to do that thing where we get one milkshake and put two straws in it, we could.” He was completely serious as he spoke, and you bite your lip to stop the wide smile from coming onto your face at his attempt to truly make this feel like a date. 

Instead of letting him know how cute he was, you resort back to messing with him. “Hmm…less ice cream for me, though,” you say, pretending to contemplate his offer.

“I can buy us another one after that!” He quickly responds, and you can see the typical energy begin to flow back through his body as he relaxes some more. “We can just keep ordering milkshakes to share! I mean, what’s a couple of $5 transactions on a black card?” He continues rambling but you break out into a laugh, immediately getting him to stop and stare at you in bewilderment because nothing he just said was a joke.

“Breaking out the black card for our first date?” You ask, looking over at Chenle as though you were something like impressed. He does not see what the big deal is.

“Of course, anything for you-” That’s where he breaks himself off, his head falling into his hands on the counter as he finally cracks. “God, I feel like a loser,” he groans, but a fond smile paints its way across your face in response.

“You’re not a loser,” you reply calmly, but Chenle shakes his head in his hands, his next words coming out covered in defeat.

“But my face is red and I’m saying stupid stuff.”

“It’s cute,” you reassure him gently, but he is quick to quip back.

“You’re cute.” The statement rolls off his tongue effortlessly and you jump back a little in your seat, eyes wide.

“Woah, lele. I didn’t know you could actually be sweet to me,” you say back, feigning astonishment. 

Chenle finally lifts his head up out of his hands to drag his troubled gaze over to you. “Do you see what I’m talking about? I’m a loser! I didn’t mean to say that,” he groans.

You just furrow your brows. “So, you don’t think I’m cute?” You ask playfully. Chenle squeezes his eyes shut, taking an extra long breath before peeking one eye open to look at you and practically whisper his response.

“Yes, I do.” 

An easy smile spreads across your face as you take in the fact that Chenle genuinely complimented you, though you were glad to see it pained him to admit it because that meant this was still your Chenle after all. You immediately turn your gaze back over to the worker, who pretended to be super invested in cleaning the counter as your conversation with Chenle drew out, and then you order just one milkshake with two straws. After, you move your gaze back over to your best friend.

“You can just be yourself, you know? I’ve liked you for years already, you don’t have to try and win me over now.”

Chenle sucks on his bottom lip, sighing. “I know but…you deserve to feel romanced and loved, and I want to do that, I just- it’s not my strong suit. My parents just bought me things and then shipped me overseas. A pretty weird love language if you ask me.” He ends with a small laugh, and you’re relieved to see the tension in his shoulders fall as he does. 

You shoot a fond smile his way in response. “I know, and that’s okay. Look, these three months for us to be together is just a change in the title of our relationship. There’s not much else that has to change. I won't hate you for struggling with how to express love. I know you like me, that’s enough.”

“Stop being so good at making me feel better,” he says with a weak grin. “I already feel like I’m not good enough for you.” 

You roll your eyes, placing one hand on top of his at the counter, getting him to meet your serious gaze. “Lele, you make me happy - that’s more than enough. Plus, you’re rich,” you add, and Chenle lets out his own laugh as he rips his hand away from under yours.

“Oh, whatever,” he replies with a scoff, but the atmosphere is instantly lighter as your laughter is only broken up by the milkshake being slid in between the two of you, immediately redirecting your attention to the shared directive of sucking that down as fast as you could. 

As Chenle got his card back after paying for all your rounds of milkshakes, he turned to you with a hopeful grin. “Do you wanna go back and play basketball in our street?” He asks, causing a similar smirk to spread across your own features.

“You know I do, but can you take it easy on me now that we’re dating?” You suggest playfully, though surprise was the last feeling that came to mind when Chenle’s eyebrows furrow in response.

“Absolutely not,” he replies quickly, causing you to sigh. “If anything, I gotta go harder on you now that we’re dating. I don’t date amateurs. You gotta keep up with me.” Your face falls into shock as you lightly hit the back of your hand against his forearm and the two of you break out into laughter again.

“Hey! Thirteen years of pickup basketball does not equate to me being an amateur. I’m a seasoned pro,” you try to say seriously. Chenle raises his eyebrows at you in a taunt.

“Yeah? We’ll see about that. What do you say, loser has to buy-” He cuts himself off from going over the terms of the bet as he turns his attention towards the countertop in disbelief. “I guess I just bought all our ice cream. What are we supposed to use as a bet now?” He speaks as though his hopes and dreams were ruined. You just shake your head fondly at him, sucking on your bottom lip to try and hold back a smile.

“Come on,” you say, moving to grab his hand in yours and pull him away from the counter. “We’ll figure something out. Let’s go before it gets dark.” 

Chenle shoots you a look as though you were crazy. “Y/n, it’s summer. We have like- at least five more hours before it gets dark.” 

You stop in your tracks, turning back to him with a smirk. “Well, my bad. I just wanted to spend as much time with my boyfriend as possible,” you reply, and Chenle ducks his head as blush covers his face. Though, with one gentle squeeze of your hand, he’s the one now pulling you out of the ice cream parlor and towards the car to go back home. 

As always, the two of you started off with a game of horse. It’s typically how you would decide who gets first possession, though you’ve stopped seeing a point to it because Chenle wins every time. At least, that’s how it normally goes. Today, standing in Chenle’s driveway, it was you who was crushing Chenle in horse. With you still at ‘h’ and Chenle just tacking on an ‘s,’ you let out a laugh. “I thought you weren’t taking it easy on me,” you taunt, and Chenle whips his head in your direction seriously. 

“I’m not!”

You raise your eyebrows at him as you move to take the ball from his hands and shoot your next shot. “Okay well then, whoever you are, can you go get Chenle back for me?” You ask, turning back to him after successfully making it. “I miss him. He’s your height, looks kinda like you, is good at basketball-” You tease, and Chenle cuts you off as he turns fire red, grabbing the basketball and readying himself to shoot from where you just did.

“I’m good at basketball!” He argues before taking his next shot…and missing. He turns around to meet your raised eyebrows and groans. “A game of horse doesn’t even matter! All it means is that you start off our actual game.” 

You shake your head at his antics as he picks up the basketball and passes it to you because somehow, you had first possession today. These ‘actual’ games were where you tended to perform better, but it was the same for Chenle of course, so you still typically only took one out of every twenty games from him. 

Though, it seemed Chenle’s poor performance in horse did nothing to actually warm him up, because his game performance was no better - possibly worse. You watched as the famed Lele Curry missed every shot he took, acting as though nothing happened every time he retrieved the ball for you. You wait until he misses an easy layup before finally shaking your head at him from the other side of the driveway. 

“Lele, come kiss me,” you say plainly, and Chenle immediately stops in his tracks as he turns towards you. 

“WHAT? Wh- wha- why?” He fumbles out through something of a shocked yell, getting you to just roll your eyes at him playfully. 

“Cause I have a feeling it’s gonna get you your basketball skills back,” you reply with raised eyebrows, greatly contrasting Chenle’s furrowed ones as he looks back at you in question.

“Huh?” He gets out, causing your shoulders to bounce up and down lightly with a small chuckle. 

You look up to face him fondly, the teasing lilt out of your tone. “Look, we’re dating now, we just talked about affection, it’s on your mind and messing with your game, so you should come kiss me and get it over with,” you state as though it were no big thing. It was a big thing to Chenle though, because he just learned you could read his mind. Of course he was thinking about kissing you, it was all he could think about - you were you, after all, and Chenle really really liked you. 

You watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down with a hesitant swallow, but as he looks back up at you, the tension in his shoulders falls. He crosses the driveway to end up directly in front of you. Slowly, his right hand comes up to cup the side of your face, an action that you easily smile into, and Chenle takes a moment to run his thumb over your puffed out cheek as his nervous gaze runs over every inch of your face. “I don’t know how to kiss but- but I promise I’ll do it just right if you let me.”

“Chenle…”

“May I?” He asks quietly once his eyes finally fall to your lips.

You nod your head, caught off guard for a breathless moment at the recognition of this softer, shyer side of Chenle. You had kissed a few guys throughout high school, but you knew he hadn’t kissed anyone before. Once the two of you found out his marriage was arranged, he gave up completely on high school relationships or flings, and meanwhile you tried to kiss as many guys as possible in an attempt to get your mind off of it. None of them ever meant anything, but this one did, and Chenle knew it, too. He wanted to do everything right, but he didn’t even know what ‘right’ was, and any time he didn’t know what he was doing, he fell shyer, more hesitant, always so uncomfortable with unknowns that he tried to just slip away instead. He hardly let you see this side of him because he always wanted to present his best self; but he was soft with you now, because he cared enough about you to admit he was clueless - that the thought of kissing you made his head spin but it wasn’t even something he could truly picture. 

“You may,” you answer softly, and Chenle slowly leans into you. 

It started out as the lightest kiss in the world, a kind of gentleness almost uncharacteristic of your best friend if you didn’t know all his layers already. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your lips, but you refuse to break so quickly; so instead, you pin your focus on deepening the kiss - pressing back into him, establishing a healthy rhythm sucking on his bottom lip. Chenle’s hand that wasn’t cupping your face soon flies to your waist as he begins to match your pace. As he got more comfortable with the feeling of his lips against yours, he got more desperate for it. You figure standing in the driveway of his house is not where you should teach him how to use his tongue, so with one last soft kiss, you break away.

Your gaze instantly falls to the ground beneath your feet, a cheesy grin across your face that you try to cover up. “See, now you’ve kissed me. Nothing else is going to be as scary as that,” you say playfully. “Now you’re good. You can kiss me whenever you want. Alternatively, you never have to kiss me again if that’s what you want-” You immediately cut off your words as you finally bring your gaze up to make eye contact with Chenle, only to realize he’s staring at you with wide eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open. “What’s that look for?” You ask, suddenly worried you did something wrong.

Chenle shakes his head in an attempt to gather his thoughts, mouth opening and closing in hesitation as he looks you up and down. “Um, I like you…a lot. Like, a lot,” he says as though he were out of breath. The wide grin comes back to your face as you let out a fond laugh.

“Ha! That’s for another time,” you promise, instead bending down to pick the basketball up from the ground and place it in his hands. “Now turn around and shoot,” you continue, nodding your head towards the basket behind him. He does as asked, turning around and not even taking a moment to regain his footing before shooting and immediately making a nothing-but-net basket. You drop your face back to the pavement with a knowing nod. Then, you walk the one step back to meet him again and place a soft kiss on his cheek. “There’s my Chenle,” you claim softly, and watch as his ears turn a deep shade of red. 

Biting on his bottom lip, he shakes his head, unable to say anything in response. Instead, he moves to grab the basketball again, passing it to you since he just scored, and you know you’re about to get your ass kicked in pickup basketball. 

That was, in fact, exactly what happened. The only difference between this and the games that occurred before you started dating, is that now throughout the game, Chenle would sometimes turn around after making a basket and tell you a play that good deserved a kiss. You would roll your eyes every time but you always obliged - each soft, casual, ‘proud of you’ peck leaving Chenle with the biggest grin on his face.

Your pickup game finally ended when his aunt got back from work, forcing you both out of the driveway but more importantly, breaking the two of you apart from your quick kiss as you scramble into the grass. As she pulls into the garage and turns off the car, she steps out to meet you two still on the side of the driveway. “Well, something’s certainly changed in the time I’ve been at work, hasn’t it?” She says with a playful smirk. You and Chenle drop your heads in unison, but his aunt just lets out a warm laugh, nodding her head towards the door. “Come on, kids. I’ll make us dinner.” 

Matching smiles spread across your faces as you rush to follow her inside. As she started cooking, you and Chenle did whatever you could to help around the house where needed, but eventually you were told to just sit and rest a while as opposed to crowding the kitchen and making things more difficult. So, TV remote now in hand, you leaned into Chenle on the couch and he hooked both arms over you instantaneously.

Chenle’s arms around you, the smell of home-cooked dinner, and a basketball game on the TV, there was something so natural about it - as though Chenle’s arms have been around you your entire life, as though you’d have them around you, to come home to, for the rest of time. You knew the idea of it would never be true in the long run, but right now it was as real as it could get - and the second you could convince yourself to simply exist in the present, that fact was enough to make everything okay. You’re sure Chenle could feel it, because at the very same time that peace crashed over your body, Chenle squeezed you slightly tighter to him, placing a small kiss to the top of your head before resuming his task of acting super nonchalant about having you in his arms. 

The two of you explained everything to his aunt over dinner, and any disheartening thought she may have had about the situation, she kept to herself. You all had collectively gone through that song and dance all those years prior when the news of Chenle’s arranged marriage first broke. She knew you didn’t need to hear that speech again. Instead, she smiled warmly, claiming that if any two people deserved to be happy together, even for just a little while, it was you guys. 

You excused yourself after dinner, figuring it was probably time for you to head home since you haven’t seen your parents all day. Chenle immediately stood from the table with you, gently lacing his fingers with yours and leading you to the door. “I’ll walk you home,” he says casually, but you just shake your head at him.

“Lele, I live right across the street. It doesn’t even take twenty seconds for me to get home,” you reply playfully. Chenle just squeezes your hand in his slightly tighter, and when he speaks again, it’s much more somber in tone.

“Three months, y/n. I’ll take a few more seconds anywhere I can get them,” he states quietly, and his words seem to have hollowed you out so that all you can do is nod your head. Chenle smiles at your acceptance before getting hit with another thought and immediately pausing. “Oh, wait!” He exclaims as you take the first step out his front door.

You turn back around to face him in question, watching as he runs through the house before coming back into view with a hoodie in his arms. “For you,” he says with a bright smile as he holds out the hoodie for you to take. You just raise your brows at him with a smirk.

“Chenle, it’s summer. What am I gonna need a hoodie for?” You ask playfully in return, though your traces of banter didn’t reach Chenle, and instead every feature on his face falls into a pout. You let out a fond laugh at the sight of it, moving towards him to take the hoodie from his arms with a light kiss on his cheek. You immediately slip it over your head, and the sheer comfort of it answered your question of what you were gonna do with a hoodie in the summer - wear it any chance you got. You look back at Chenle, who was stuck staring at you in his hoodie as though you were a goddess. You just pray your face doesn’t show too flustered in the moonlight and grab his hand to actually start on the walk across the street.

As you get to your front door, Chenle tightens his grip on your hand to pull you back some more, now just standing idly on your front porch. You study his figure curiously, watching as he tosses around thoughts in his head so loud you could almost hear them. His gaze eventually falls to the ground but he finally finds his voice.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be great at ever telling you how I feel. It’s hard for me to articulate anything even closely related to feelings. There’s so much in my head but I don’t know how to tell you everything…how much you mean to me. But if today taught me anything, I’m much more comfortable with showing you how I feel. That doesn’t seem as foreign to me for some reason. I can show you how I feel - I want to. I hope it gets across, though. I hope you know every time we kiss…” He drags off, and his eyebrows immediately furrow in irritation that this was just another example of him struggling to put his feelings into words.

You give a fond shake of your head as you stare back at him. “Chenle,” you let out softly, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand, still intertwined with yours. 

He finally looks back up at you with resolve. “What I’m trying to say is that if one day, you get fed up with all my emotions being expressed physically rather than verbally, I can stop. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t have to kiss you all the time. I can try- I can try to…I can-” This time, he’s cut off by your lips on his, and he melts right into the kiss.

When you finally pull back, you place a hand on his cheek, nodding your head lightly. “It gets across, lele. Everything you’re feeling, it gets across. It’s never gonna be too much; we have a lot of time to make up for, I know. So, whenever you want to kiss me, I want to kiss you.”

In return, Chenle gives the most bashful smile you’ve ever seen. He moves a hand up to guide your own back down from his cheek before studying the way your two hands fit with each other so naturally. All hands were meant to be interlaced with another, he thought, but his were specifically made for yours. You look at his soft features with a grin, squeezing his hand gently in yours and getting him to train his eyes back on you in a rush. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says surely, causing you to laugh some before nodding your head. 

“See you tomorrow,” you softly return as he takes the first few steps back towards his house. You stand and watch until he finally reaches his own front door; turning back around to see you still outside, he gives an exaggerated wave in your direction, and you didn’t need to see the huge smile on his face to know it was there. You move your hand up slightly to wave back to him, hoping the yellow street light wasn’t enough to illuminate the clarity that had immediately washed over you as you clocked that you only had three months left of his exaggerated waves and huge smiles - the butterflies that had occupied your stomach all day were no match for the void that made its presence known now. A heavy breath escapes you as he finally turns the knob and enters his house, leaving you with nothing left to do but the same.

As soon as you opened the door, the change in atmosphere was striking. The warmth of your parents’ laughter filled the kitchen as they were cleaning up from their own dinner, your dog entirely too wound up as he jumped around waiting for teased scraps from your father’s plate. The pit in your stomach didn’t go away, but instead became more pronounced as another strange feeling added to it. Your parents had much longer than three months to be together; you wondered if they could fathom it - if they could ever wrap their heads around the amount of love shared between the two of them throughout all these years. You wondered if you would ever be able to wrap your head around the idea of loving someone that many years, knowing it wouldn’t be Chenle on the receiving end of it. You hated remembering why the two of you originally promised not to get involved with each other - you hated that those reasons made more sense than ever.

You didn’t realize the door practically slammed shut behind you until the rest of the house fell quiet in response. Your mom makes eye contact with you in the front entryway before smiling brightly and returning to the dishes. “Hey, sweetie! Were you over at Chenle’s?”

Her question is coated with a smile and all you can do is start rambling to try and fight off the nauseous feeling that arose in response. “Guys, I made a really stupid decision and I know it’s stupid so I don’t need you to tell me again and I really don’t need you to be pessimistic about it because it won’t help.” You speed through your words in an instant and the look on your parents’ faces completely flip as they drop what they’re doing to go meet you still by the front door.

“Y/n, what happened?” Your dad asks in a panic, and you figure the vagueness of your statement meant they were currently assuming a lot worse than it was. You shake your head, but it doesn’t do much to dismiss their worry until you follow it up with words.

“Chenle asked me to be his girlfriend,” you spit out, and the tension in their shoulders drops at once.

“And you said ‘yes,’” your mom softly finishes in your place. You shoot your gaze up to her, bringing their notice to the tears in your eyes as you respond weakly.

“I couldn’t say ‘no.’”

Your mom lets out a fond sigh, nodding her head as she throws an understanding smile in your direction. “I know,” she replies, coming up to wrap you in a hug where you finally let yourself bawl your eyes out.

“We only have three months to be together but- but we wanted to be together,” you explain as firmly as you could through tears. “And we should’ve just pressed on these three months like we have our whole lives, I know it’s stupid-”

“Y/n, it’s not stupid,” your mom cuts in seriously. You lean slightly out of the hug to make shaky eye contact with her, then darting your gaze off to meet the encouraging look your dad bore and only getting more confused. You pull back from the hug entirely, now doing your best to collect yourself again so you could have a real conversation.  

“I’m gonna be really hurt three months from now, and it’s not Chenle’s fault, it’s mine-” You could only be mad at yourself for so long before your mom cuts you off again. 

“It’s not your fault. Sometimes, what makes a decision seem stupid is that there’s no one to blame for its consequences. It’s not gonna be your fault, nor Chenle’s…and it’s weird when you don’t have someone to blame.” Your mom was always the voice of reason, but you figure this time she was taking the same approach that Chenle’s aunt did. The inevitability of you and Chenle was the least of her worries. Her main goal was to keep you from jumping off the ledge before you could even enjoy it. 

“I think Chenle blames his parents,” you rebuttal thoughtfully, and your dad just lets out a laugh before he responds more sincerely.

“Yes, but I think he hates his parents enough for the all of us, so we shouldn’t add to it.” Chenle’s disdain for his parents was more than evident, and your own parents never had the nicest things to say about them either - even though they kept their thoughts to themselves, you knew it. There wasn’t a single person in the suburb who understood where Chenle’s parents were coming from; with the quality of life being so starkly different, you figure no one ever would. The sucky thing was, you knew Chenle’s parents were thinking the same thing about you all, and it’s why everyone but Chenle has kept their opinion to themselves - it wasn’t worth it to do otherwise, an understanding could never be made between two different worlds. 

You take in his words with a flash of your eyebrows but eventually let out a heavy sigh. “...he shouldn’t hate his parents,” you admit solemnly, thinking of your own family and wondering how heartbreaking it would be for both sides if you viewed them the way Chenle views his.

Your father ducks his head, his thoughts running parallel to yours. “No, but that’s not for us to worry about. I’m just glad you don’t hate yours,” he says with a smile, and you finally move your gaze back up towards your parents, three pairs of uncertain eyes exchanging thousands of emotions between them.

“Is everything gonna be okay?” You finally ask, your voice much weaker than you would have liked. Your mom shakes her head in mystery, a thin-lipped smile giving its best attempt at comfort.

“I don’t know, but was today okay?” She asks in return.

“Yes,” you answer immediately, but then your face turns more contemplative and you shake your head. “No- it was so much better than ‘okay’ you wouldn’t even understand.” Your words come out coated in fondness. You figured it was the first step towards realizing how bittersweet these next three months with Chenle were going to be, how nostalgic you would soon feel for memories you were in the middle of making. 

Your mom’s smile widens at your words as she moves to brush over your cheek with her hand, ensuring the two of you make eye contact as she gives the only advice she thinks she can at this point. “Then let’s try not to worry about if everything’s gonna be okay in the future, and focus on the fact that everything is so much better than okay right now,” she says softly, leaving you nodding your head against her hold. It eventually falls into a tight hug before you get embarrassed and excuse yourself to make your way to your room for the night. 

It was a few hours later when your parents walked in to say goodnight. Your dad went first and then waited at the doorway as your mom took her moment to kiss the top of your head and bid you goodnight. Before she could take a full step away, though, you caught her hand in yours. Her face whipped back around to meet your soft, wavering gaze. “He kissed me today.” Your tone made it sound as though you had a million thoughts in your mind, but it was clear not even one would manifest itself into more words right away. Your parents both give a warm grin, and as your dad leaves from your doorframe to let the two of you have a moment, your mom joins you sitting on top of your bed.

“Yeah?” She encourages softly. All you can do is nod before frustration reaches the surface and you end up shaking your head decidedly.

“Mom, I don’t want to kiss another guy ever again,” you say, looking up to make sincere eye contact with her. “I want it to always be Chenle,” you continue firmly, and your mom just lets out a defeated sigh.

“For three months, it will be,” she says with a weak smile, trying her best to bring any sense of hope to the situation. 

You pull your bottom lip in between your teeth, both coming to terms with the situation and not being able to believe it all at once. “And that has to be enough. How do I make that be enough?” You ask helplessly, the sight of you torn up like this chipping away at your mom’s heart.

“I don’t know, but you’ll figure it out,” she replies, and you figure that’s all anyone would be able to say to that. These are your circumstances, and regardless of if it feels unfair, all you can do is the best you can do; spending these three months trying to resolve a grief that hasn’t even hit you yet was definitely not your best course of action. With the smallest of laughs that still comes across as jarring in the fragile moment, your mom speaks up again. “I would say you could kiss him like every time will be the last, but I can’t have you sucking his face off…his parents would not be thrilled about that,” she teases, and you’re finally able to crack a smile as well.

With one last kiss to the top of your head, your mom gets up and heads towards your door again. “Remember,” she says, turning back over her shoulder to look at you. “Today was really really good. Tomorrow will be, too; and the day after that…and the day after that. So, no stress for at least the next three days, okay?” 

Your smile widens on your lips at the silly promise, but it did its job in removing what felt like the entire weight of the world from your shoulders. “Okay.” Then, with one last smile, your mom was out the door.

The next week was spent with you and Chenle not seeing more than an hour of separation from each other unless you were sleeping. Though you couldn’t say this for anyone else you hang out with, you never got tired of Chenle, never oversaturated from his energy; so, spending all this time together was hardly a task - it was just how you were meant to be. You think Chenle held the secret to it all along, the reason you never got tired of each other - though you doubted he was even aware of it, every time he looked your way, it seemed to be with a fresh set of eyes, like it was the first time he’d ever laid eyes on you. You could see it in the glaze of softness that took over his stare for a millisecond. How could you ever tire of each other when every glance gave the illusion of no time having passed at all. The only problem you could anticipate is how shocking it would be when these three months were up, if each passing day still consisted of the butterflies from the first.

It was at the end of this first week when your mom lingered in your room while saying goodnight to you again. You eyed her curiously as she sat down on your bed rather than the typical lean-over to kiss the top of your head. She gives a small laugh as she meets your gaze, then starts her words with a light sigh.

“Y/n, your dad and I have been talking,” she begins, and the color drains from your face.

“Uh oh,” you reply, unsure of whatever it is they came up with but knowing it typically never boded well for you.

At this, she laughs again, shaking her head with a grin. “No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just-” she breaks off, looking as though she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, and once you heard her words, you understood the look on her face completely. “We know how this is gonna go. You guys are eighteen year olds who like each other a lot, the situation only made more dire because there’s a strict end date. We figure you’re gonna want each other as your first time, right? So, just please be safe about it, okay?” She moves to make eye contact with you again, seemingly proud with how she articulated everything, meaning she’s completely surprised to see your jaw dropped.

“Wait, what?!” The volume of your voice jars even you, but you could not believe her words. “Are you telling me you and dad came to the decision that Chenle and I could have sex?! Me?” You question, pointing up at yourself as though your mom didn’t know who she was addressing. “Your daughter? Permission to have sex with Chenle?” At your crazed tone, your mom just lets out another small laugh and a shrug, morphing the atmosphere into something much more chill than you could imagine.

“I mean, you’re eighteen,” she replies nonchalantly, only getting you to gawk at her some more.

“I’m like- still a kid to you guys!” You shoot back, remembering how many times the idea of that played into their many rules for you - curfew during high school is 10:00 but hey, that first summer once you’ve graduated, go crazy, it seems!

Your mom tosses the concept of you being a kid around in her head before returning her gaze to you with a slight smirk teasing at her features. “Eh, I lost mine at, uh- well...younger than you, so eighteen’s honestly looking pretty good.”

“What?!” You exclaim again, this piece of lore about your mom baffling you more than anything else you’ve heard tonight.

You watch as she winces, reliving the truth of what she just said, but her eyebrows eventually raise as she turns to you with a cheeky grin to contrast her serious gaze. “Yeah, don’t tell your father about that one. I’m pretty sure he thinks I lost it at nineteen…” She drags off, and you let out your first laugh of the night.

“I can’t believe this,” you say, and your mom’s smile meets your own as she shakes her head and continues with her actual point.

“Look, some people see being eighteen and an ‘adult’ as a reason to never need their parents’ permission for anything ever again. So, I’m glad that you still want our approval for certain things but, here it is. Just be safe and we’re good,” she says casually, and you just drop your head with a laugh of disbelief.

“Okay-” you begin with a nod, but your words are cut off as your mom seems to light up with another thought.

“Oh! Just please do all that when we aren’t home. Your father and I do not need to-” She cuts herself off abruptly but continues to open and close her mouth as if searching for words to describe exactly what her and your dad don’t need to be around to hear, but you just nod your head with another laugh.

“Okay, okay, I got it. Don’t worry,” you conclude, finally motioning for her to let it go and actually bid you goodnight. With a laugh, she relents, walking out of your room and leaving you completely bewildered…and with news to tell Chenle when you see him tomorrow.

However, when you did see Chenle the next day, the conversation with your mom was the last thing on your mind because your little romantic surprised you with a date to the zoo, saying that you had to go right away before it gets too hot and all the animals hide in the shade of their habitats.

The first hour of the zoo experience was completely normal - snow cones that turned your hands into a sticky mess, which Chenle refused to let you wash off right away because he kept sticking your hands together and pulling them apart again with the biggest smile on his face; and then walking around the entire place actually holding hands, splitting your conversation between genuine facts about the animals and trying to see who could get the other to believe the craziest lie they could come up with at the time.

It was when you were at the prairie dog habitat that things took a turn. You and Chenle were reading the fact sheet when you heard the little girl next to you ask her mom what was happening with the animals. You whip your head back up to see the prairie dogs in a compromising position and immediately hit Chenle on the shoulder to get him to whip his head up as well. The two of you try your best to hold in laughter as the parents with younger children rushed to find another animal habitat to keep their child entertained with. That was when memories of last night came flooding back to you and you turn to face Chenle in an instant.

“Oh, hey! You know my parents said they’re chill with us having sex,” you say quietly enough so that just Chenle could pick up on your words. Expecting a reaction similar to yours when first hearing the news, you were stunned to see that when Chenle turned his head over towards you, his face was completely flat aside from his raised brows.

“So, what are ya thinking? You wanna drop down right here and do it?” He asks neutrally, beginning to eye the floor before scrunching his nose and looking around for a better spot.

“Chenle!” You gawk, and all it takes is one look at your exasperated face before he finally falls into a bout of laughter.

“I’m kidding, princess. God, who do you take me for?” He jokes with a disappointed shake of his head. Though, as you calm down with your own dramatic eye roll, he slips his hand into yours again, bringing them up to kiss the back of yours before dragging you off towards another habitat. 

Hand-in-hand, the two of you walked around the rest of the zoo before heading out for a casual dinner. It wasn’t until Chenle was dropping you off at your front door that, in an effort to keep you in front of him a little longer, he remembered the topic he probably shouldn’t have just dismissed earlier in the day. “Oh, hey, before you go,” he starts, and you instantly remove your hand from the door knob to turn back around towards him. He makes serious eye contact with you as he continues. “About what you said at the zoo-” 

You raise your brows with a grin but he shakes his head as soon as he spots your smile. “Not the part about all elephants being recognized as ordained ministers,” he clarifies, and you can’t help the small laugh as you remember your attempts at animal facts today. “But about us,” he continues seriously. “If I want anyone to be my first, it’s you, but I don’t wanna rush into it just because we’ve been told we can. I mean- I just got used to being able to kiss you and hold your hand-”

“And call me princess,” you add with a smirk, not letting him get away with the new pet name that easily. Chenle drops his head bashfully.

“Yeah, and call you princess…” he echos, falling more thoughtful with each word. “And I wanna be able to relish that a bit more before- well.” He shakes his head, getting frustrated at how poorly he was able to articulate everything on his mind. “I wanna be able to be there,” he finally says with resolve, looking back up to make eye contact with you again before continuing. “Be present…and if I still can’t fathom the fact that I get to kiss you right now, I don’t want to try and wrap my head around even more,” he finally concludes with something of an embarrassed laugh to try and lighten the atmosphere that only he thought needed lightening. You just smile sweetly back at him. 

“I get it, lele. Hey, I wasn’t the one suggesting we drop to the floor and do it in front of the prairie dog habitat,” you remind him, causing him to face the ground again as he lets out an actual laugh at his own past actions. When you pick your words back up, it’s with sincerity. “If one of us isn’t ready, then nothing’s happening. I’m good to take it slow. We wanted to do this right, yeah?”

Chenle nods his head as he lets out a sigh of relief, as though he expected the two of you to not be on the same page for the first time in thirteen years. Though, when he looks back up at you, it’s with a firm smile. “Yeah.”

You shake your head at it all, your smile alone revealing how endearing you found him despite your best efforts to keep it hidden. You press up on your tip-toes and lightly kiss the top of his nose before moving down to catch his lips easily with yours. “Goodnight, Chenle,” you say once you finally pull back. Chenle’s face is as red as ever, and you knew he wasn’t kidding when he said he still can’t fathom the fact that he gets to kiss you.

“Goodnight, princess,” he replies in kind, getting your own face to flush as he turns to walk the few steps across the street to his house.

A few more dates and countless pickup basketball games later, and it was already the one month anniversary of the day Chenle paced around your front porch and begged you to forget about what’s happening in just two months now. Knowing Chenle, and how much he loved spending his parents’ money while he wasn’t under their rule, you were half expecting him to greet you today in a suit and take you out to the fanciest restaurant he could find. Instead, Chenle barged in through your front door that afternoon with something much less proper on his mind. “Y/n, it’s been a month,” he points out, and you turn your head to face him from where you sat on the couch.

“Yeah?” You acknowledged, waiting to see where he was going with this.

“I think we should have sex,” he states plainly, and you throw your head back with a laugh before you can even think about it.

“Just like that, huh?” You tease, looking over at him once again with a huge grin, not at all as serious about this proposal as he was.

He puts his hands out awkwardly, as if making sure you stayed put and would hear him out. “Look, I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the subject-” he begins, and you cut him off with another laugh of disbelief.

“Oh, I’m sure you have,” you joke, finally up on your feet and rounding the couch so you could stand face-to-face with him.

He shakes his head in the meantime, a look of annoyance on his face, all overwritten by a huge grin because it was you he was annoyed at. “Shut up,” he quipped with his own small laugh before continuing with as much seriousness as he could. “What I’m saying is, I think I could make it the best day of your life.”

Your eyebrows shoot up immediately, and it’s hard to keep the tease in your voice when the rest of your face betrays you with a huge smile. “Oh, yeah? Well, I’m sure with all your nerdy research, you’re practically a pro by now.” Chenle opens his mouth to bark out some confirmative response, or more likely beg you to stop with the teasing. Though, before he can do any of that, you just shake your head, grabbing his hand in yours and, with the knowledge that both of your parents were still at work for the next few hours, easily guiding him to your bedroom without a second thought. “Come on, big head.”

Chenle smiled brightly at the back of your head as he followed you up the stairs. “I’m so lucky,” he responds, the sarcasm not doing any good at covering up how much he genuinely meant that statement…if only Chenle knew how lucky he made you feel. 

Ever since then, it became clear that sex with you was going to consistently stay at the forefront of Chenle’s mind. He was absolutely obsessed with the opportunity to know you more than he already did after the first thirteen years of memorizing you as his best friend. Each curve of your body was something sacred for him, and he took every chance he could get to indulge in it some more. Two weeks after your first time, Chenle met you at your front door with the same gleam in his eyes as ever. 

“Hey, baby,” you say, leaning in to quickly kiss him before moving back so he could actually step inside your house. “What do you wanna do today?”

“Sex!” He immediately answers, his tone as though he were a kid asking for candy. You drop your head with a small laugh.

“Not today, lele,” you reply, and Chenle’s brows shoot up in question, though the playfulness is still coating his every move.

“Was my approach wrong? Let’s go from the top, I’ll make my words more sophisticated,” he jokes with a smirk.

You finally give a solemn shake of your head. “No, Chenle.”

His demeanor immediately shifts as he falls into concern. “Okay, what’s wrong?” He asks, placing his hand softly on your cheek so he can guide your eyes back to his own. You meet his worried eyes and immediately dart your gaze away again, laughing softly in embarrassment. 

“Nothing. I just started my period today,” you explain, and Chenle immediately lets out a sigh of relief as you watch understanding wash over his figure. You pick up at the end of his sigh and continue with your answer. “My cramps are always the worst on day one.”

Once sure you weren’t breaking up with him nor banning him from ever fucking you again, he easily slips back into his usual manner with you; in this case, instantly getting on your ass. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve brought over your favorite snacks and your microwavable stuffed animal you always keep at my place and-”

You cut him off, shaking your head with a small smile. “I don’t need all that, though. I just wanna be with you.”

Chenle renders completely still for a moment. For a man who seemed to struggle with words, yours always ended up hitting him right on. He moves to instead wrap you in a tight hug, a contrasting gentle kiss placed on the top of your head as he just held you there for a moment. He finally moves to instead kiss your cheek and pull back a bit. “Movie night, then?” He suggests lightly.

You flash a soft grin in his direction, eyebrows raising as you stare back at him. “Will you hold me the whole time?” You ask seriously in return. Chenle rolls his lips inwards to hide his smile, though he can’t hide the light dusting of pink now covering his cheeks and tips of his ears. 

“Is that even a question?” His banter back is ruined by the sheer softness of it. Your grin widens as you grab his hand and lead him towards the couch in the living room. You lean into him easily and he doesn’t think twice before pulling you even closer, holding you even tighter, as your favorite movie begins playing in front of you. “We’re watching the Steph Curry documentary after this, just so you know,” Chenle suddenly speaks up, a faint laugh in his tone - a strange vocalic considering he was completely serious, but you realize it’s his attempt to be softer with you right now, figuring you had it bad enough with your cramps that you didn’t need his bluntness on top of it. 

“I’m pretty sure we can both quote the entire documentary by now,” you banter back with a disinterested groan. Chenle looks over at you by his side with a playful gleam in his eyes.

“Exactly! Which means we have to watch it one more time to really make sure.”

You roll your eyes at him but relent without another word; you still had an hour and a half of the first movie anyways. 

It was a little over two hours later when your parents got home from work to find the two of you seemingly in conversation, only to realize the movie in front of you had no sound and it was just you and Chenle switching back and forth quoting each line - neither of you cutting the other a break should there be a moment of hesitation…so half of the script was recounted in between laughs and over the other’s teasing. Needless to say, once the Curry documentary started, there had been significantly less cuddles than before, but your cramps, however painful they may have been, were the last thing on your mind. It was only when you sat down for dinner that reality came flooding back over you, suddenly making it hard to sit down again. Trying not to focus on the pain, you instead thought about how pain-free the past few hours have been. You hated that Chenle knew what would work so well…you hated that he wouldn’t always be here to make it work again. 

After dinner, your parents made their way out back to enjoy the firepit and calm night. You and Chenle found yourselves back on the couch, this time old cartoons you used to watch during childhood taking up space on the TV rather than movies. You cuddled into him easily, and he did his best to love on you enough to make the pain go away again.

When your parents finally came back inside, the TV was still running but you and Chenle were asleep against each other, his arms wrapped around you protectively as the two of you shifted so that you were laying down on top of his figure rather than just leaning against his shoulder. Your parents just let out light sighs, sad smiles covering their faces as your dad turned off the TV and your mom laid a blanket over the two of you before texting Chenle’s aunt and letting her know that Chenle wouldn’t be making his way back across the street tonight. They weren’t sure if they were feeding the beast by letting the two of you spend the night together, but it was too hard on their hearts to impose a future reality when you guys were so at home living in the present. 

The morning sun eventually made its way through the windows to disrupt the darkness of your unconscious state. Still refusing to open your eyes, you just turn your head so that you're facing away from the window. Though, that’s when a hand lightly trails through your hair to move it away from your face, and you realize you’re still against Chenle’s chest. At once, you blink awake, and when you move your gaze to look at Chenle, you can hear the snap of silence as his breath gets caught in his throat. He shakes out of it with a smile, once again running his fingers through your hair as he begins to speak softly. “God, I wanna wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”

Your face goes fire red and you immediately rush to bury it back in his chest. “Shut up,” you chide. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Because I need you to know that,” he responds in sincerity, kissing the top of your head since your face was still hidden. “I’ll always want it to be you.” His soft confession served to be one of the most reassuring and sweetest things you’ve ever heard, and you knew he meant it wholeheartedly. However, while warmth took over 98% of your body, there was the other 2% overcome with a certain uneasiness. With Chenle claiming that he would always want it to be you he wakes up next to, it was the first time you felt a sense of pity for the girl on the other end of this arranged marriage with Chenle, because while you could never be her, she would never be you.

You push the thought to the back of your mind, sure anyone around you would call you crazy for feeling pity for his future wife. Instead, you pick your head back up and press a light kiss to his lips, and just like that, 75% of the rest of summer nights and early mornings saw you and Chenle asleep against each other. 

All too soon, Chenle was accompanying your family as you moved into your college dorm. There was a week left before the first day of classes, and in between now and then, Chenle would have his fateful flight back to Shanghai. You had spent the past few nights crying yourself to sleep - well, if it wasn’t a night you and Chenle were spending together. All you wanted to do was be strong for him, your mind a constant loop of how sorry he looked as he asked to be selfish for the summer and indulge in his feelings. The last thing you wanted was for him to actually feel bad about it, to know how painful it truly was for you, when you knew he was going through the same thing himself. You didn’t need to add to the heavy weight on his shoulders imposed by almost every other figure in his life. So, you kept your tears to yourself. It wasn’t that hard anyways, being in Chenle’s presence meant a constant smile was on your face without ever having to think about it. 

Once all your things were put away and you could pass as ‘moved in,’ you stood opposite your parents in the doorway to your dorm as Chenle used the bathroom. With a few words and quite a bit more unspoken ones, your parents made themselves conscious of the time on their watch and then bid you goodbye for a bit. 

When Chenle came back out from the bathroom, he looked around for your parents, but his shoulders instantly fell once he failed to lay eyes on them. Instead, he turned to you in complete seriousness, pointing a thumb out to the side towards where your bed was as he looked at you with raised brows. “Can I be the first to fuck you on your dorm bed?” He asks plainly, and despite yourself, a loud laugh erupts from your chest.

“Chenle!” You chide, and the familiar big grin makes its way back across his lips.

“What? Isn’t that a thing?” He laughs off in question as though nothing were amiss. He quickly shakes his head, regaining his serious composure as he begins in his attempts at convincing you. “Regardless, I won’t get to experience it for myself so you should take pity on me. And I want this bed to be able to know me before any other college boy toy,” he states plainly, making you drop your head to hide the smile conjured up by his words.

“So glad you think that after you go back to China, I’ll resort to boy toys,” you shoot back monotonously. Chenle finally fumbles as he rushes to steer your mindset in a different direction.

“Okay, it came out wrong. That’s not what I meant,” he assures, but you stare back at him with raised, uninterested brows.

“Yes it was,” you reply immediately, but with the smallest peek of a smile from you, Chenle loses his tension again, ducking his head into his shoulders with a dumb laugh.

“I know.”

You shake your head at him to accompany the eye roll. “I hate you,” you say through a laugh, much to your dismay because you could not sell the bit to save your life. Chenle knew it, too, as he pops back up to look in your eyes with nothing but a tease behind his own. 

“So, that’s a no to fucking on your dorm bed?” He questions, making it seem as though that were your least desired possibility rather than his own. His mind games didn’t need to work, though, as you shake your head with a fond smile this time, taking a step towards him to kiss his lips softly.

“I already told my parents to explore the campus,” you admit, and Chenle’s kissed lips turn into a childish grin that he had to calm down from before he could even think about kissing you again. 

“Hmm…I think I like my bed better,” Chenle finally says, tossing your shirt back over to you as you both now sit up in your bed. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you at his words.

“Well, I would hope so,” you tease. “Yours is a King as opposed to this Twin.”

Chenle shakes his head, dismissing your banter as he responds with more contemplation than the situation called for. “No, I mean, the bigger bed is nice but I don’t think that’s it. I think this one is just a little too squeaky,” he concludes with resolve. All you can do is laugh, leaning over to place a fond kiss on his cheek.

“You had high standards for plastic-covered springs,” you joke as you pull back. Chenle looks over at you with raised brows.

“I have high standards in general. That’s why I like you,” he responds, and instead of letting yourself get embarrassed by how flustered that statement was about to make you, you nudge him in the side with a roll of your eyes. 

“Whatever. We both know I was too low maintenance for you to originally fathom,” you reply, and Chenle finally lets a huge smile break across his face.

“We were kids in a suburb and I came from money…there was a lot I couldn’t fathom,” he recounts seriously. You move your head to look over at him by your side, a soft smile on your lips as the playfulness behind your eyes begins fading to match it. 

“I’m glad you finally came around,” you start with sincerity. “The suburb will be sad to see you go.” 

Chenle lets out a heavy breath at your words, the weight of reality seeming to hit you both at the same time. He finally nods his head a little, not in agreement but something like contemplation. “Speaking of, I guess we should get back to it. Now that we moved you in, we have to move me out.” The words are bitter on his tongue. The two of you did an immensely good job at sticking to the present throughout this past summer, but now that the present involved the first steps of the dreaded future, it was hard to stay lighthearted. You did your best, though, responding with a faint laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure my parents have just about exhausted every way they can keep themselves busy anyways,” you point out playfully, and Chenle finally seems to remember he’s still sitting shirtless in your bed. He looks over at you, realizing he’s the only one to have fallen behind on getting dressed again, and with a matching laugh, he begins to remedy that.

“I can’t believe how chill your parents are,” he replies with a bit of awe as he pulls his t-shirt over his body. 

You shake your head at him, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth in thought. “They’re not, they just like you.” Your reply is more serious again and Chenle swings his gaze your way with raised brows. You pull up your own to match, and a small smile plays on your lips as you continue. “If it was anyone else, they would’ve had me by the throat.”

Chenle takes in your cautious figure and furrows his brows, not at all seeing the consequences in the same light you were. “You like that, though,” he replies, nudging you in the side and getting the both of you to laugh. You shake your head, dropping it to cover your face with your hands in embarrassment. 

“Sometimes, I wish you had a filter,” you banter back, but when you uncover your face again to look over at Chenle, his demeanor had completely shifted, as though your laugh had reminded him that he didn’t know how many more times he would be able to hear it. 

“I’m sorry for having to leave,” he says miserably. “Your family has been so nice to me, all throughout childhood and now trusting me with you…” He drags off, his gaze moving across the bed beneath him and over to you, hair messy and lips slightly swollen from his kisses. He shakes his head. “Like this, and I’m just up and leaving.” You can tell he’s getting pissed at himself with every new word, but he doesn’t give you time to jump in right away. “I put you in a position where I knew you’d get hurt. I feel like an asshole.”

Gently, you bring both of your hands to cover over his own against his lap, and he turns his gaze your way at the contact, allowing you to see him physically break from his reverie and instead soften in your presence. “Chenle, you aren’t an asshole,” you reassure. “I knew what I was signing up for at the beginning of summer, and I told my parents exactly how this was going to go, too. No one blames you for having familial obligations. Not me and not my parents. They aren’t mad that you’re the reason my heart is gonna break in a few days, they’re just really really grateful you’ve been the reason behind the happiest three months of my life.” Your words carry enough weight, it was obvious that that’s truly how you viewed the situation. If possible, Chenle felt worse. He was the bad guy here, and you were reframing it for his benefit. He never felt like he deserved you, and had no clue how you managed to think otherwise for the past three months. 

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. You whip your head towards his face once you hear his shattered tone, and your lips part in disbelief. You always figured Chenle would be the strong one, but today’s proved to you that’s not the case. 

“Hey,” you start, rubbing a thumb beneath his eyes before his tears could fully roll down his cheeks, an accompanying fond laugh to cover over your own heartache. “Don’t get all sad on me now, we still have four days until you leave.” 

Chenle gives a weak smile, catching your hand with his own and bringing it from his eyes down to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to the back of your hand before shifting grips and giving it a tight squeeze. “Let’s go find your parents.” His voice cracks again as he speaks, and he’s finally able to let out an embarrassed laugh in response. You just nod your head, leaning over to grab your phone and find a well-timed text informing you they were waiting at a café on University Boulevard. So, with a onceover in the mirror to make sure the general public wouldn’t be able to tell you and Chenle just fucked, you led him out the door.

Once you got back home, you and Chenle hardly ever left each other’s sides…even less than normal. There was a shift ever since you moved most of your things to university, and everything started to feel a little more real as opposed to the way the rest of this summer felt like an escape from that reality. You both were running out of time, and you couldn’t do anything but be conscious of the fact. It affected Chenle the most, and you could tell from his first touch once the two of you got back. 

Up to now, sex with Chenle was a full-on activity. It was rough, hot, and passionate to say the least - he would fuck you. However, the last four days, the air had completely changed. Now all his movements were softer, slower. He was trying to memorize you. 

His eyes would become distant sometimes, and only he knew that it meant he was replaying the first day he met you - five-year-old him staring judgementally on the sidewalk out front of his aunt’s house as he watched you play with the water hose, getting messy for no reason and having the audacity to laugh with joy because of it. When you met his gaze, you motioned for him to come join you, to which he adamantly shook his head and decided he was never making friends with the kids on the block. However, as he turned around to go back inside, figuring some basketball could wait until all the messy kids were gone, cold water hit his back in a sensation that had him whipping around again. His first thought was to start spouting Chinese words that he heard his parents say sometimes after they got off business calls with ‘imbeciles of clients,’ but instead as he laid eyes on you, just a few feet away now, with a water gun in your hands and the brightest of joys in your eyes, he forgot all his words. All he knew was that he wanted to be friends with the kids on the block. Though, not even that, he just wanted to be friends with you. He swore in that moment you outshone the sun, and he wanted in on your warmth.

If Chenle knew then what he did at fourteen, he’s not sure he would’ve ever allowed himself to get close to you. However, if he knew then what he did now at eighteen, closer to you than he’s ever been, he’s positive he’d go through this heartbreak a thousand times if it meant he got to love you even once, and he wouldn’t have waited so damn long to love you in the first place. 

The last day - the last time, the distant look in Chenle’s eyes wasn’t there at all. Instead, it was filled with non-stop whispered words of how much you meant to him, how much he adored you; his voice occasionally catching in his throat when he got too sentimental, and you’d be reminded of how hard it was for him to articulate his thoughts at all; so all you could think to do was pull him down for a kiss and swallow his words instead. 

Then you blinked and it was already the day of Chenle’s departure. Your parents had been outside most of the morning helping Chenle and his aunt load the car up with his things. You took no part in it. Instead, you sat in your room, hugging your knees and staring blankly. The only tell that you weren’t frozen was the fact that you were chewing on your bottom lip, truthfully destroying it, but it was the only thing you could think to do to ground yourself at the time. 

With a light knock on the door, your mom enters your bedroom and you move your head up to meet her gaze. “Chenle’s sitting outside. We got him all packed up and everything.”

You swallow harshly and your eyes immediately find your knees again. “I know,” you reply shortly, your voice hardly above a whisper.

A sad smile crossed your mom’s face, but when she saw you making no effort to move in response to her words, she let out a sigh. “Sitting in your room doesn’t stop time.” Her words come out flat, like a lecture, and you knew she was trying to juggle how to be both, a ray of comfort and an authority figure. “You still have to say goodbye.”

You shake your head to dismiss the bit of worry held in her tone as she gave you orders. She didn’t have to walk on eggshells around you, it was that you were the one mentally walking on eggshells around your heart. “I’m just trying to keep my emotions from running high,” you say monotonously, finally looking up at her. You watch her eyes widen as she notices the glaze of tears over your own, and shake your head again in frustration before dropping it back down to your lap. “The last thing he needs is to have to leave while I’m in tears. He’ll never want to go.”

Your mom rolls her lips inward, and suddenly she understands why you’ve taken solace in tearing up your own bottom lip before she walked in. Though, with a sigh, she speaks again with her best attempt at unbiased advice. “He already doesn’t want to go - but the fact of the matter is that when you look back on this moment days, months, years later, you’ll want to have said ‘goodbye.’” You shake your head immediately, she was wrong.

“No. I don’t ever want to say ‘goodbye’ to Chenle,” you claim with more force than you thought yourself capable of in such a fragile moment. You glance up to watch the outsider persona she tried to create instead fall away, and she just went back to being your mom.

She fumbled with her thoughts for a few moments, mouth opening and closing again as she shook away everything she didn’t want to say. Finally, she presses her lips to form a thin line, and then is immediately turning around to walk back out of your door. “You can wish him luck, then, but you need to go see him.” As her words come out, straightforward and not open for debate, you realize why she started walking away as she delivered them, because she wouldn’t have been able to face you and give such orders. Her words were still not what you needed to hear, and you both knew that, but she had to exert some authority and get you to at least do what seemed best in the long run; you figure that’s why it was hard for you to take in…you and Chenle didn’t have a long run. The concept of it hurt enough to pull you up from bed and out the front door. 

Without a word, you sit down next to Chenle on the sidewalk, making a chair out of the step in the pathway leading up to his aunt’s house. He moves his head to look over at you, registering that you were next to him. With a breath, you turn to face him as well, a smile on your lips that didn’t quite reach your eyes, though the tears once occupying them were successfully blinked back. 

He ignores your smile of reassurance, instead just looking over you once and nodding his head minimally before facing the front again and leaning his head on your shoulder. That’s how the two of you stayed for a good five minutes. No words exchanged, just your light breaths and his heavy exhales as you run through every thought in your mind. You weren’t sure which ones to say, which ones would make things worse, or if any of them would make things better. 

“Oh!” You startle as the first practical, rather than emotional, thought crosses your mind. “I still have your hoodie, oh my god let me go get-” Your move to get up and run back into your house is ruined by Chenle’s calm words.

“Keep it,” he says immediately, and you whip your head towards him in shock.

“What? Chenle, if I keep it, it’s almost guaranteed you’re never getting it back. We won’t have contact after this.” That was always the deal, he was getting a new phone and his parents were taking any trace of you out of it, blocking your number, the whole nine yards. However, admitting that you weren’t going to have contact after this present moment was incredibly bitter on your tongue. The words make Chenle tense up, too, but he just as quickly continues with a head nod.

“I know. So, keep it. It can be your hoodie, just please don’t forget that it’s mine.” He stops talking once he notices the sorrow in his tone, and you watch as he swallows it back before speaking again, this time with a touch of playfulness. “And even after you stop wearing it, you can give it to your first-born, Chenle, and then it’s Chenle’s hoodie again.” He concludes as though the entire thing made perfect sense, and you didn’t know how to feel with the fact that his banter made this conversation seem so normal. On the one hand, you were grateful when the familiarity fought off any last question of tears, but on the other hand, you hated knowing this was the last time you would get to have a normal conversation with him. 

You settle with rolling your eyes rather than figuring out how to feel. “I’m not naming my first-born ‘Chenle,’” you reply, looking at him with raised eyebrows. You watch as a small smile overtakes his face, but it quickly settles into a grimace and then it’s gone.

“It was worth a shot.” He pauses for a beat before turning to face you, his new tone coming off as desperate, helpless. “Don’t ever forget me, okay?”

You shake your head rapidly as you reassure him. “I couldn’t.”

The two of you stare at each other again in silence for a moment. The time to say goodbye was upon you, which is why the conversation died, which is why you remember what your mom had said in your room, and thus you start with your wishes of luck. “You’re gonna do great, you know? Learning how to run a company and everything. No one’s more capable than you. I’m already incredibly proud of you, not because you’re gonna be a crazy successful business man, but because you’re you. So, when you set foot in your dad’s company, don’t lose that, okay? Everything that makes you Chenle. I’d be sad to see that go just for some bottom line.”

Chenle’s shoulders sink as he turns to face the pavement. “I’ll do my best for you,” he assures with a nod. You want to fill the silence again but hardly have a clue what to say. However, that’s when you see Chenle’s lips twitching and you know he’s in the midst of trying to articulate more of his own thoughts. When he does speak up again, his voice is surprisingly steady. “You know, I’ve been thinking lately. That’s all I could ever seem to do these past few weeks. You know I always struggled finding the right words to say, to let you know how much you mean to me. But lately I’ve found my words. And it’s stupid because it’s so easy,” he says with a scoff, and a wave of uneasiness washes over you as you see the smile he’s able to conjure up. “I’ve been saying it over and over again in my head and it’s so natural. I could’ve been telling you this entire time.”

That’s when clarity hits you and you jump to stop him from saying his next words - you couldn’t handle them. “Chenle, don’t-” You speak up in a rush, but he does, too.

“I love you,” he says firmly, finally bringing his head back up to look at you. His eyes are wide in sincerity, making sure you could see every emotion behind them, how much he meant it. “I love you, y/n l/n. I really do.”

Every last bit of strength you had vanished in milliseconds, and instead you bawled your eyes out sitting on that pavement. “You stupid kid,” you cry out, ramming your head into his shoulder. Underneath you, Chenle froze, and you realize he has no clue if you’re sad or genuinely mad at him. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” you add weakly, a hand coming up to clutch at his shirt. Chenle immediately softens, placing both of his arms around you as best he can. All this time, you had been mentally preparing to comfort him, to be so incredibly strong for him so that he could take his next steps and not feel incredibly guilty for doing so…but now he was the one comforting you as you sobbed in his arms. Chenle could figure out how to articulate his feelings but you couldn’t even get this right - he was stronger than you.

No more words were exchanged between the two of you. He held you in his arms as you tried to rid yourself of tears, but you couldn’t even accomplish that before his aunt gave the first gentle warning that they had to get on the road. Chenle felt you freeze in his arms, and he hated knowing that, regardless of how you wanted to frame it, he was the reason you were crying and torn up like this. If it was up to him, he would’ve never left you; but it wasn’t up to him, so all he could do was leave you with something - his hoodie, and the softest of kisses on the top of your head, getting you to finally pick your head up again so he could place more kisses across the span of your face, slowly but surely kissing your tears away until he made his way down to your lips…and there he finally faltered, letting out a heavy breath against your skin. A last kiss sounded horrible, did he even want one so clearly defined, or was it better for your last kiss to have been yesterday, being able to remember it as basked in love rather than tears. His inner debate was more like a war as his eyes roamed over every inch of your face - what to do? What’s best? Tears were still running down your face but he can't shake how beautiful you look right now…he loves you. How does he kiss you goodbye? How could he ever say goodbye? Does he not do anything at all? He loves you. Is a final goodbye best left unspoken? Unkissed? 

His state of drowning in his thoughts gets cut off as you make the decision for him, leaning in to kiss him softly, and instead he’s drowning in you…and your last kiss. It was delicate and innocent, with the audience you had, it probably would have been weird for it to be any other way. Regardless, he still chases your lips after you pull back - that couldn’t have been it; but then the car starts and his eyes shoot open as they dart over to where his aunt was getting situated in the driver’s seat. Chenle whipped back around to face you and looked terrified, but the roar of the engine was a constant reminder of where he needed to be - he couldn’t put it off any longer. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, instead it was just quick, heavy breaths and a scared shake of his head. None of that meant that he wasn’t in the act of standing up from the pavement, making his way to the car…leaving you.

Every step you watched him take as he left was another drop of poison in your bloodstream, a poison you should’ve built up tolerance for already given how many small doses it seemed like you were taking throughout the last three months. Though, you must be kidding yourself - goodnight kisses under the porch light before watching him walk the few steps to the other side of the road were nothing even close to poison; an antidote, maybe, to last you throughout the night and fight off the poison of when you were apart, but there were no more goodnight kisses to keep you going now. It was a different sting, your muscles tightened, you couldn’t move, couldn’t look away. Though, you refused to watch him go, leaving it up to your tears to blur the sight of it. The scene in front of you was nothing other than a tragedy, an ending no one was satisfied with, not because it could’ve ended differently, but because it was always going to end this way. There was no crazy plot twist or invocation of Deus Ex Machina to change the narrative. No, just the same, sad, memorized ending of a story you forgot was your own. You played yourselves for fools, believing you could outrun a truth that only ever gained on you with each stride - that, together, the only thing the two of you needed was what you would never be able to have…more time.

[radiohyo]

Oh, if only I could say something here. Actually, no — I can and should.

On November 7, I downloaded a book for the plane ride, on a friend’s recommendation. I knew nothing about it except that the main character was depressed and that somewhere down the line there would be a romance arc that, according to her, might interest me. I hadn’t seen any fan art, and of course I had no idea how much of it I would end up drawing myself (guys, my whole fan art collection only had two pieces of chinese novels, one Witcher drawing, and some random Homestuck thing from 2014).

But a few months later, I celebrated New Year reading ships — drawing Amber until almost midnight. During the valentine’s day party, I sat off to the side reading the Aslevjal part, and that same night I cried over the poem. The next day in the studio, I was so shattered I couldn’t even time the etching process properly, and instead of using gasoline, I tried to thin bitumen varnish with acetone.

For the past six months, I’ve remembered every event in my own life alongside the events of the books. I was sure that I’d outgrown this kind of hyperfixation when I left my teenage years behind — and I’m genuinely happy to have been wrong about that.

There’s one old video meme that I don’t know how to translate into English, and it came to mind while I was finishing the final book so I was just sitting there, stupidly smiling, stunned that the world I had lived in for half a year had just ended. But almost happy, too, with how it all turned out (sadly, the Wolf wasn’t a surprise — I got spoiled when I started suspecting Amber and went looking her up on the wiki). Maybe later I’ll collect my thoughts and talk about the ending as well.

The conclusion of all this: thank you, Robin Hobb.

[milkmily]

Invitation ³ [Zayne]

Zayne x non mc! Reader

Sum. You and Zayne got an invitation to a wedding, but it was to attend the wedding of the people you two love, both heartbroken. (Smut, piv, oral, Zayne may be a bit out of character so I am sorry, it's been a while I've written smut so forgive me, As well for typos sorry)

<- One | Two | here(last part) | (possibly a lil short story not sure ->

Layla is MC(my mc/ oc)

It was sudden, as he pulled Layla into his office she couldn't stop her sobs. What had happened? What is going on? He worried as he saw her cry. He hasn't seen Layla cry in a while. Last time he saw her cry was when Sylus said his vows to her. Zayne tried to calm her down, give her time to breathe and let it all out. He had his arm wrapped around her as she wiped her tears away, her sobs turning into gasps.

It was all so confusing and it hurt seeing her like this, it truly did. “I'm sorry Zayne…” she mumbled. “About What?” He asks. “I just barged in here and…” She sighs and shakes her head. Zayne rubbed her shoulder and said, “It's fine, tell me.” Layla looked at him and her eyes broke him. She looked so sad, The shine in her eyes was gone. What had happened? Was it Sylus? “Sylus and I had a talk…” Oh so it was him. And something in him burned. Layla continued, “It was about her.” You. It was about you. Why you?

“Everything went okay, it was amazing really. But the problem was that Sylus kept bringing her up. It didn't bother me because I'd bring you and Caleb up from time to time.” She says. “But then he said how she's been distant, replying to his texts late and that when they'd meet again that they would need to talk.” She says. “I know that they are close but to keep bringing her up on our honeymoon? I talked with him and told him, he seemed not to have taken it well.” She says as her hands start to shake again, the tears building up into her eyes. “A-And he said that not to think too much of it, he said I over think! Of course I do!” She sobbed. “So we just started to argue. He thinks that you also get in the way!” She cried. Zayne froze as he heard that. Him? But he hasn't done anything. “I tried to talk to him but he just…we couldn't.” She says, sounding so broken and scared. “I love him so much, I don't want this argument to end what we have.” This was the first time he's heard her say that. ‘I love him…’ Why can't he get that through his head though? And why does he feel relief at hearing them argue? What was wrong with him?

“Perhaps you two need space?” He suggested and Layla looked at him and she seemed offended. “Space? But why? I mean, we are married to be together. I don't want space from him, I want him to be with me. I miss him already.” She cried. Zayne looked away. He didn't like hearing that. It brought him shame even thinking about how he's actually happy they argued. He wrapped an arm around her and said, “We have to do things we don't like in order for things to work, Layla.” she shook her head and connected to sob. He wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes. “I'm sorry…” he whispers and she breaks more.

As he hugged Layla back, he felt like how he used to be with her. The way his heart beat at how close she was, but right now it felt hurt for her. Sadness as he Sees her cry. Maybe if they had gotten married instead, Zayne Would of never made her cry, never would have argued with her and always agreed with her. Everything.

“Zayne…?” He turns and sees you, standing right at the door, a box of macaroons at hand. And he remembered. He remembered you'd be at the hospital in his office with a gift. He felt guilty but all he thought of really was Layla and how hurt she is. You awkwardly looked away and said, “I'll leave. Um, I'll just leave these here…” You placed the macaroons down on the desk. You looked at Zayne who was looking right back at you. Zayne saw hurt in your face again, maybe even betrayal? It was the same face You had when you saw Layla and Sylus dance in their wedding. Zayne said nothing though. He still had his arms wrapped around Layla, his head laying on top of hers. But as he watched you leave, he felt guilty, even more than before.

It was quite between you and Sylus. You fidget with your fingers as you stare down them. “What happened?” You asked, still not looking at him. Sylus looked away, he seemed to feel guilty. He didn't feel guilty. “Me and Layla argued.” He says. Ah, the first argument for the newlyweds. “About what exactly?”

“You.” Your eyes go wide and quickly look at him. “Me?” You asked and he nodded. “You've been distant. You don't answer any of my texts, maybe like a day or two later and you don't call.” He says. “It had me worried. You know how worried I've been? I've had to make Luke and Kieran search for you to see what you've been up to. All they told me is you've been with that doctor.” He says. “I don't trust him, I've told you before.” He glares. Your eyes are wide at his words. “So you kept talking about me to your wife?!” You yelled and Sylus raised a brow at your reaction. “I just said I've been worried about you and you're mad?”

“Of course I am!” You yelled. “You talked to your wife about me? On your honeymoon? Seriously? Think about it this way, what if Layla was talking about Zayne to you saying how she's worried he hasn't answered any of her texts or calls, how would you feel?!” You say and Sylus looked at you. Men sure are stupid. He just looked down and you shook your head. “I understand you've been worried about me but you have to know I can handle things myself. And yes, I've been hanging out with Zayne. There is nothing wrong with that.” You say. Sylus nods and says, “I would like to apologize…” you shook your head and said, “No, apologize to her. Not me. You have to talk to her and explain. You are a smart man but for some things you aren't Sylus.” You say.

You noticed something though. You didn't react as you used to towards him. Your heart didn't jump as you saw him or how he talked to you. Nothing. Maybe if you had heard that a month ago where you were madly in love with him, then maybe you would have fallen more for him and even would have done something. But here you are, helping him try to talk to his wife and apologize. You felt normal around him. You sigh and say, “I will be back in a bit alright? I don't suggest taking some time off from seeing each other as the relationship might affect it, but talk to her. Reassure her that you are with her. And if she needs time, then let it happen, just keep talking and text Her.” You say. Maybe everything you are telling him is something you would have wanted with him. But now, you don't and only want what's best for his wife and him.

“Where are you going?” He asks. “To see Zayne. He had surgery today and I got him something.” You catch yourself smiling at the box of deserts and Sylus noticed too. He nods, understanding. “See if Layla is there, you don't need to tell her anything, I'll just want to know where she is, that's all.” He says. You nod and grab the box. “Help yourself around.” And leave.

You walked to the hospital building. The closer you got, tell more anxious you'd get. You wondered what Zayne would be doing now? Be in his office and review work? Sit and simply think? What is it he's doing?

You walked to the elevator and as the numbers got closer to Zayne's office. You were smiling and noticed that. You noticed how your heart beat fast and how anxious you felt just at the thought of him. The doors slid open and you walked out. As you get closer and closer, You breathe in and open the door. Zayne lets you anyway now. No need to knock, he will know. But you Were met with Layla crying in His arms.

The strange thing was the hug didn't hurt, it was the expression on his face. He looked like he had missed her, he felt hurt for her and most of all, he looks In love. The way his hand coos Her back and holds Her makes your heart ache. And just by that, you can tell Zayne really hasn't moved on, has he? “Zayne…” you called his name and he turned to look at you, his eyes going wide. It was quiet. Your eyes go to Layla who still had no clue you were even in the same room. Well, now you know where she is.

“I'll leave. Um, I'll just leave these here…” You placed the macaroons down on the desk. Your hands shake as you stare at the box for a second. You looked at him and saw he looked nervous, as if he had gotten caught stealing candy like a kid. You looked at Layla and back at Zayne before leaving, closing the door behind you. You stare down at your shoes and bite the side of your cheek as you walk to the elevator and press the button. Your whole body felt tired. You felt tired. Your feet somehow make you walk back home with the strength you had left in you.

You were hurt once again.

You had forgotten Sylus was even at home. You opened the door and were welcomed by the smell of food. You slip off your shoes and walk to the kitchen. “You don't have a lot of things Here sweetie, so I cooked what I could with what you had.” He says and turns to look at you but all he was met with was hurt. “Is something the matter?” He asks. Your gaze was low, avoiding him and all you could do was nod. Sylus knew you wouldn't want to talk about it so he stayed quiet. “Just take a seat and I'll give you some dinner.” He says and goes back to humming. You quickly got distracted because of how horrible he Sang. You chuckled and sat down.

Dinner was made with a glass of wine on the side. But all you thought about was Zayne. Sylus probably was thinking about Layla too. And you spoke, “At the wedding…” Sylus raised A brow. “You told me if I was hiding something.” You say and he nods. “I was…but if I had told you it was wrong. So I said when the time comes I'll tell you.” You say. And you felt right now that possibly today was truly the right time. “When I got the invitation, I was devastated. I cried when I saw your signature On it because it was true, you were going to get married.” You say as you look down at the now finished dinner plate. Sylus stared at you as you spoke, he could see how much you've been holding in and how painful it has been. As he heard you, it started to click to him. “At the wedding too, I cried. But when I saw you dance with her, I felt so broken, that my heart just started to hurt because I remembered the time we had danced together. It meant so much to me because that's when I realized how in love I was with you.” You say and move your gaze to his. “I don't expect you to risipricate the feelings. I already know that. But I just wanted to say it.” You sigh, the feeling of something taken off your chest. Sylus had thought for a moment and he nodded. “Thank you for telling me.” He says. You nod and start to eat.

It's been four days already since Sylus decided to stay over at your place. You had agreed only if he helped around the house to clean. He may be your boss but you are on vacation right now and he is not going to be sleeping here for free. The past four days you didn't contact Zayne. Everytime you thought of him your stomach hurt from anxiety and you'd distract yourself. You kept remembering how he held Layla, how he comforted her and the expression on his face. How could you forget that? You'd be at random thoughts by yourself in your bedroom about things. Things as in: was your love life messed up? Why is it messed up by tragedy? One sided love situations and conflict.

As for Layla and Sylus, they still talk and keep contact. Layla had wanted some distance from each other for a while, saying it was the best choice. You wonder if maybe Zayne had suggested that so he could be around Layla again. Sylus didn't like the idea but went along with it, he just had told Layla to text him often. They do make phone calls here and there but it's awkward since that wall is still between them. You can tell how desperate Sylus is to see Layla again. Sylus was on a call in the living room with Layla and you were in your bedroom again with your own thoughts. That's when the doorbell rings, you snapped out of your thoughts but still stayed in the same position on your bed. You knew Sylus would open the door either way. “Are they home?” You heard a familiar voice and stood up. You hesitated for a second. As soon as you heard his voice, you were quick to follow. You sigh and walk to the front door where Sylus and Zayne stood. Zayne's eyes moved to look at you and he seemed a bit tired, like he hadn't slept well the past nights. “Here she is.” Sylus says and walks away, leaving you two to talk.

“Are You alright? You haven't answered any of my texts and I worried something might have happened.” was the first thing he said. You avoid eye contact but look back at him. “Sorry, I've kept my phone on do not disturb.” You admit. He nods and says, “I've been trying to contact you for the past two days, I was worried since you didn't answer my calls and texts.” You are a quick texter.

“I Apologize, Zayne. I'll check on my phone again.” You say and Zayne sighs. “Is something the matter?” He asks. You shook your head. “No. Just handling Sylus. I'm sure you're doing the same with Layla.” He looked away and nodded. You nod back and say, “I have to go back in. I need to help cook dinner.” Zayne looks at you. It seemed he didn't want you to leave but let's you, giving you a nod. “Alright, but please, just answer my texts or calls.” He pleaded before he excused himself and left. You close the door and quickly ran to your room for your phone you unlocked it and saw everything

I would like to apologize about today. If you Have time, could you Come to my office tomorrow?

I hope your night goes well today.

And then it goes to the next day.

Thank you for the sweet treat, they were delicious. I Apologize for the calls as well.

Would you like to go out to eat at a restaurant? Layla recommended it, she says it's good.

Hello?

Missing call

Are you alright?

Then a day passes.

How was your day?

Is something the matter? Layla had told me Sylus is at your place? She says you're fine.

Did I do something wrong?

And then the next day.

I am sorry but I worry for you. I'll be going to your house to see how you are.

And it ends there. You sigh and answer the texts,

Hey Zayne, sorry again. And yes, I would like to go to the restaurant. Just tell me when and what time and I can see.

To your surprise he answered quickly.

Is tomorrow night fine? I can pick you up.

You looked at his text, your heart beating quickly, making you groan at your decision.

Yes, that works.

Layla had talked with Sylus and she said she needed some space. She would still contact him but needed to think things through. As for Zayne, He stayed beside her. Always did. The first day, he had helped Layla feel better by making her something to eat, get her to watch something to distract herself but all she did was look at her phone and answer it as quickly as she could when a notification came through. Which would bother Zayne. And Layla noticed but she said nothing about it, why should she?

Zayne looks at the TV, it was some romance Christmas movie Layla had picked. He saw the two love interests build a snowman and quickly thought of you. He remembered when he made the small snow kitty for you and saw how your eyes went wide and they shined at how cute it was. He couldn't help but smile at that thought. But for a second he remembered the expression you had when you saw him with Layla. The hurt. He looked away from the TV, no longer wanting to see it as it reminded him of you. He walked to his office and from afar he could still see Layla stare at her phone screen in hopes for any message or call to come through. Zayne looks down at his own phone and sighs, no message from you at all. Maybe you have been busy with something since Sylus came back. He grabbed his phone and texted you.

I would like to apologize about today. If you Have time, could you Come to my office tomorrow?

I hope your night goes well today.

The next day comes. Layla was asleep in the guest room while he got up early to head to work. He opens the fridge and sees the box of macaroons. Zayne's sweet tooth kicked in and he grabbed one out of the box. He took a bite out of it but it tasted bland. Yes, it was sweet as he always likes but it doesn't taste the same. That's when he thought of you, when you two went to eat something after his dentist appointment. You being the tease and evil person you are, got yourself some macaroons and eat them slowly in front of him. It did bother him because he did want to eat one but the stupid cavity was killing him. That's when he grabbed your hand without even thinking and took a bite out of it. Your eyes went wide and felt his lips touch your thumb before he backed away and chewed. “It's good.” He says and you groan. “Your cavity! Listen to what the dentist said!” You say as you pull on his shirt. “Doctors lie.” He mumbles. You rolled your eyes and just laughed.

Zayne was brought back to his own reality, the box at front of him. He sighs and looks at his phone. Nothing from you yet. He quickly typed:

Thank you for the sweet treat, they were delicious.

He had expected you to see his text already but nothing. He sighs and leaves his house. At work he was staring at his phone any second he could. Nothing from you yet, which had him start to worry. You never do this, well, haven't done any of this before. If you were busy you'd always tell him beforehand. Now nothing, at all. He'd send a text here and there and maybe a call or two but nothing. At home, Layla talked about Sylus but in reality, he didn't pay much attention, he was so busy on his phone that he just couldn't.

Layla looks at Zyane and asks, “Is everything alright?” but he'd nod. Layla wasn't stupid, she's known him since they were kids. “Tell me.” She says, this time being in front of him. It almost felt like the right moment to speak since he's finally gotten her full attention now. His lips part and speak. “I am in love with you.” but when they slipped his lips, it felt wrong. Yes, it is wrong he basically confessed to a married woman but it was the fact his own feelings told him that it was wrong. That maybe he just wasn't in love with her anymore.

Layla's eyes were wide at his sudden confession. “Zayne…” she says and signs. “I'm married to Sylus. You already know.” She says and Zayne nods. “I…I know.” He says but it still felt wrong. Like as if those three words weren't meant for her but for you. “I Apologize, Layla. No. It is wrong of me I-” he groans and sighs. He finally speaks about you to Layla, how he feels around you, how he's felt, and what happened at the wedding. Which Layla listens to it all. “I see.” she nods. “Well, Sylus talked to me about her as well.” He quickly turned and raised a brow. “He is staying with her. I thought you knew.” She says but Zayne shook his head. She looked away and sighs. “Just take her out to this restaurant, yes?” She said as she looked it up on his phone. “It's really pretty there.” She smiles.

The next day came and Zayne couldn't stand it anymore. You completely ignored all his texts and calls and he's worried. He grabbed his keys after work and drove to your house. Zayne was met with Sylus at the door instead of you. “Where is she?” He asks, which sounds a bit demanding but he's desperate to see you. He hears footsteps and he sees you, finally again. You seemed fine, maybe a bit tired which he worried about but that didn't matter, he finally got to see you.

“Are You alright? You haven't answered any of my texts and I worried something might have happened.” was the first thing he said. He noticed your eyes move away from him. You were avoiding eye contact. “Sorry, I've kept my phone on to not disturb.” You admit. He nods and says, “I've been trying to contact you for the past almost four days, I was worried since you didn't answer my calls and texts.” You are a quick texter.

“I Apologize, Zayne. I'll check on my phone again.” You say and Zayne sighs. “Is something the matter?” He asks. You shook your head. “No. Just handling Sylus. I'm sure you're doing the same with Layla.” He looked away and nodded. You nod back and say, “I have to go back in. I need to help cook dinner.” Zayne looks at you. It seemed he didn't want you to leave but let's you, giving you a nod. “Alright, but please, just answer my texts or calls.” He pleaded before he excused himself and left. He sat down in his car and sighs, looking up. His phone vibrates and sees you replied to his other text where he had suggested a restaurant to eat at.

Hey Zayne, sorry again. And yes, I would like to go to the restaurant. Just tell me when and what time and I can see.

He was quick to reply, happy to see your text:

Is tomorrow night fine? I can pick you up.

Yes, that works.

The restaurant was nice, the lighting was great from where Zayne and you sat and had a great view outside the window. You two were at 5 stories high in a building. You two could see the lights from below. You had probably worn the wrong wear for winter but still went anyway. Zayne had taken notice of something, you didn't start a conversation. You always do. You always bring some little thing and it goes after that. He cleared his throat, making you look up at him. “Layla had recommended this place, it has a nice view too. I think I like it.” He says and you just nod. He didn't expect that reaction, he expected more like how you always do. “What do you think of the place?” He asks. Zayne was very nervous, very. He isn't used to you being so quiet. He honestly thinks you don't like the place.

“It is nice, it does have a nice view from here.” You say and your orders come. He thanked the waiter and looked at you. You didn't seem very enthusiastic today. What was wrong? Did he do something wrong? Is the restaurant not to your liking? But Layla said it was the best place. “I'll be back. I am going to use the restroom. You can start to eat without me.” You say, the chair screeching as you pushed yourself away and stood up. Zayne sighs and looks down at the food, his own appetite going away. What was wrong with you? Are you okay?

“Zayne?” He looked up and saw Layla. His eyes are wide and says, “what are you doing here?” she smiled and nervously looked away. “I came here to eat. With Sylus.” But didn't he say at least they needed a week apart? This is Layla, she never listens anyways. Layla then just starts to talk about the talk Sylus and her had.

You didn't want to be at the restaurant. Well, more like not be around Zayne. You still haven't gotten over everything. When he mentioned Layla you just nod, what do you say? He just keeps mentioning Layla while you two are eating, it's annoying.

When the food arrived, you excused Yourself and walked to the restroom. You looked at yourself in the Mirror And sigh. Why are you like this? Zayne genuinely wants to spend time with you again like last time. You smiled at that thought. You washed your hands and walked outside. As you walked out, you noticed Layla with Zayne. You saw the way Zayne’s eyes looked at her, the way his head tilted to the side slightly to listen to her speak. He hummed and nodded at the things she said to him. His expression looked like: yes, I am listening to you. But that look said more. Yes, keep talking to me. His eyes never leave her face as he smiles at her and nods. It almost felt like back in high school when a boy looked at a girl he liked and listened to everything she said and agreed with almost everything she said. You wanted to be her. You wish you were her. Why was she alway so lucky? Why couldn't it be you? Was this hatred? Was this jealousy? Which one is it because you yourself don't even know. Why did he even invite you anyways if he'd be talking to her and looking at her like a puppy dog does rather than to be looking at you. It was the exact same with Sylus. All the same the exact look and head tilt. And exactly the same right now, be in the background of them both. Why are you letting yourself repeat all of this over again? Why are you allowing this pain? Why can't you let go? Why are you allowing him to make you feel so confused? He's given you a sign that he does like you but does he love you? Just as much as you love him? Soon his eyes moved away from her and saw you, but it seemed he saw your own expression too. Pain. You just stood there as you stared right back at him. Maybe you weren't mad at Layla, it was Zayne you were mad at. As much as you didn't wish you could, you can't control how you feel. Why is he like this? He's giving you so many mixed signals that you finally snapped.

You quickly walked up to the table, grabbed your purse and walked away. You walked to the elevator and bit down on your lip as you held in the tears. You quickly walked out as it made its stop and opened the doors, wind swishing in your face, making you shiver. Winter snow and yet, you didn't bring a damn coat. You sigh but still walk out. You'll just have to endure it.

Zayne was quick, he excused himself, paid the bill and left. He rushed to the elevator and rushed out. The wind blew in his face once he opened the doors to leave. You were probably freezing too. He ran and he finally saw your silhouette. He ran and called your name, making you turn. You cried? “Zayne, don't run, the floor can be slippery!” You say as you walk up to him. But you suddenly stopped. Zayne reaches you, panting And looks at you. “You can't walk out here in the snow, it's cold.” He says as he holds your shoulder. You tried to push him away from your shoulder but he had a good grip on you. “Please, let me drive you back home.” He begged and took his coat off. He places it on your shoulders as he looks at you. He cupped your chin with his hand and lifted it up to see you had indeed cried. Why did you cry? What had he done wrong? “What did I do?” He asks. Zayne has to know immediately what it was that he did to make you cry. Your eyes looked away and he sighs. “Please tell me, what is it? I've never seen you cry and I never want to see you cry because of me. Please tell me what I've done wrong and never do again.”

Zayne pleaded, making your heart beat. Right now, probably wasn't the best time to react to how he pleaded. He's never been like this to you, so his pleading made your face Heat up. You wanted to stay mad at him. But how could you when he was practically begging for you to explain what he's done wrong so he never does again. This is why you love him. “I…” you stop. You were about to say you love him. Was now the right time? When will it ever be the right time? You want to tell him because you're scared that it will all happen again when it's too late for you to say how bad you fell in love with him. He was waiting, shivering while he still held his hands on your shoulder as he waited. You looked at him and suddenly got closer to him. Zayne looks down at you and gets closer too. Why are you two getting closer? What is going on? Zayne's hands creep to cup your head and he brings you closer, his lips brush against yours and stop, was he waiting for you to push him away? You quickly crushed your lips against his and wrapped your arms around him. You kissed him and felt his own lips move against yours, making your heart beat fast. You moved your hand to his face and rubbed your thumb against his cheek as you kissed him. You two pulled apart needing to breathe and you speak, “I love you Zayne.” You were nervous. “I fell in love with you, Zayne. I fell in love with you. I felt so hurt that you hugged Layla, that you talked to her, that you looked at her the way I wanted you to look at me.” You felt the tears come again. “I feel so hurt because it feels like it's all happening again where it's always me who falls in love, it's always one sided. That's why I left. That's why I cried.”

Zayne backed away to look at her, his hands never leaving her. He was guilty for making her feel this way. He never wanted to and never will again. “I'm sorry.” He apologized. “I am sorry for making you feel this way and for confusing you.” He says as his thumb rubbed your cheek, wiping away a tear. “I love you too, and I am sure of it.” He says. Your eyes went wide at his words and you were about to say something about Layla but he spoke first,

“I told Layla how I felt, I had to. I can't keep my feelings in.” He says. “It was obvious I'd be rejected but…it felt as if I let go of something heavy, it was reliving.” He says and you lean to his touch. “But it made me think that I really do not love her. I simply missed my friend.” He says. “Being around you made me forget, I want to apologize for everything making you feel this way.” You smiled and just waited for him to say the words, the words you've been wanting to hear again. “I love you.” He says and you brought him in for another kiss. You pulled away and said, “Let's go home. You're shivering, Zayne. It is cold.” but his lips kept kissing you. You smiled and said, “We can go to your place…?” He stopped and looked at you just to confirm if it was what you were actually thinking about and you just grinned. Zayne blushed and sighs. He fixed his glasses and cleared his throat. “Alright.” He said and you laughed. “You are so cute, Zayne.” You say. “Before we go, let's go for a walk. I still need to process everything you told me.” You say as you hold on to his coat and Zayne smiles as he sees your blush. “Alright.” He wrapped an arm around you to keep you warmer. “We could go to a shop some day to get you a coat.” He says. You lean on to him and nod. “That sounds nice.” You whispered and you two walked.

Zayne's hands never leave you as soon as you walk inside his house. You weren't even given time to slip out of your shoes. Zayne already had his lips on your neck, his hands holding your waist. You softly gasp and hold on to him. “I need to take my shoes off Zayne.” You whisper and he gently sucks on your neck. He kissed it and held your hand. “Okay.” He whispers and kisses your hand. He goes on his knees and holds your foot up. Slowly remove your shoes and kiss your thigh. He moved his other hand to remove the other one and kissed your other thigh. Your heart was beating like crazy and you couldn't resist anymore. He was just everything. You wanted him so badly.

Zayne smiles at you and says, “You wore a tight dress with tights on a cold day with no coat…” He moved his hands up your thighs as he never broke eye contact. “It looks perfect on you, just isn't perfect for winter. You'll catch a cold.” He says as he holds your inner thigh and squeezes it. You bite your lip and run your fingers through his hair. “I have a doctor to care for me if I do get sick.” You say and he chuckles. “I suppose you are right.” He kissed your inner thigh and his hands went higher and higher, making you pant and feel anxious at his touch. He looks up at you asking for permission. You nod and feel his hands go under your dress, gently pulling down the black tights. He raised your dress a bit and could see the wet spot. You anxiously bite down on your thumb as you look down at him and he smiles. He rubbed his thumb on the wet spot, making you jump.

Zayne slowly moved his thumb up and gently rubbed on your clit, making you shiver. He was staring at you still, seeing every reaction and movement you made, his eyes never leaving you. You lean against the cold wall as his thumb rubbed gently. His other fingers moved to the side of the panties and moved them aside. He took off your tights and panties fully and got between your legs, looking up at you. His hands slowly brushed up and down your thighs, his face getting closer and closer to your core. His thumb brushes up and down between your folds. Zayne groans at your soft whimper. He opens your folds with his fingers. You gasp as you feel his tongue brush in your folds, Zayne needing a taste, he was hungry and desperate. He looks up at you and his tongue goes to your clit, attacking it and sucking on it, almost as if he was a starving man. You moan and hold on to his hair. You could hear the slips, groans and moans that would come from Zayne. You were getting closer and closer, you needed more. You started to ride his face, his nose brushing against your clit as he ate you. His eyes cut tightly close, the grip he had on your thighs tight. His hands move to your ass, pushing you closer to him. His other hand was already unbuckling his belt and pants. The tent in his pants was so painful. He sucked your clit and you see stars. You moaned his name as you arched your back, riding his face though your orgasam. Zayne groans and pulls away to gasp. He looks at you, sweating and panting after the orgasam.

God, you look so beautiful right now. He needed you. He quickly gets up and brings you in for a kiss. You could taste yourself on him as you shared the kiss, your hands quickly wrapping around him. His hands went to your waist and he pulled away panting. “I need you.” He says and lifts you up, making you yelp. You were gently placed on the bed and you looked at him. He unbutton his shirt and your eyes go wide. What a view. He looks at you and grins. You grabbed his arm and pulled him to you, moving your hands to his abs and smiled. “Wow doctor.” You giggled and he chuckled. Your hands slowly moved up to his chest, making him gasp and groan. You could see how red he was. It went all the way to his ears. You kissed his cheek and whispered, “I can't anymore Zayne, I need you.” sending shivers and making his cock twitch in his boxers. Your hands run up and down slowly on his sides. Zayne's eyes moved down to your chest. He can no longer look away. You're looking right at him too, no? Then he has every right to look as well.

His cold hands slowly moved to the strings for your dress and he pulled them down. Zayne looked at you and you were staring right back at him, your top teeth biting down on your lip and your chest rising up and down. Your hard nipples could feel the fabric slowly get pulled down and finally, they were out. You looked at him and waited for his next words. But it is more of an action guy. He moved his hand to your chest and cupped one. He goes to your other breast and kisses the nipple, making you whine and bring your chest closer to his face. He opened his mouth and gently sucked on the hard nipple that was eager for his attention. His tongue swirls around in circles, making you moan and run your fingers through his black hair. You moaned his name and he looked back at you.

His cock was already out, his boxer gods knew where. Zayne pulls away with a ‘pop’ and goes to suck the other one. He wanted to make you feel good, make up for the time he made you feel hurt, feel betrayed by him. He always wanted to do this to you, make you moan and make you feel good. He's had dreams about it. That night he made that little snow kitty, he had a wet dream about you, moaning his name and begging for him. He woke up to his boxer wet and had to hand wash that. Which was embarrassing really. And since then he's thought of you and had more dreams of you. So having you here right now, made him so happy and especially turned on. Zayne moved his hand down to your thighs and gently rubbed your clit. He opens your wet folds and moans on your breast. He grabbed his cock with his other hand and rubbed the tip of his cock between your wet folds, his tip more wet with your folds. You squirm under him, moving your hips to feel more.

Zayne couldn't hold it any longer and looked in his nightstand. A box of condoms. He quickly opened it and gently put one on. You looked at him and tilted your head. He grabbed a pillow and laid it under you. “For better support.” He says. You smiled and nodded. Zayne brings you in for another kiss and gently pushes Himself in you, making you two gasp. You felt so warm and tight around his cock. He opened his eyes and saw how your eyebrows arched, your teeth biting at the bottom of your lip and your chest rising and filling. He kissed your cheek and whispered, “You are so beautiful.” before he thrust, making you moan. His hands moved to your hips for better support and moved his own hips away from yours and thrusted in once again. His pace was slow, making you whimper and moan. You needed more, you needed more of him. “Zayne, please.” You pleaded, his cock twitching inside of you. His thrusts become faster this time, making you hold on to him. “Z-Zayne! Ah! So-so good!” You moaned, making him groan at how you felt and sounded.

He pressed his chest against yours and brought you in for a kiss. The kiss was sloppy, the pleasure in your body making it impossible to give him a proper kiss. He Slips his tongue in you, his tongue exploring your mouth. Your eyes rolled back for a second, your breath becoming heavy and louder, your back arching and sweaty everywhere. You were close again. So close. But he stopped. You whimper and look at him, your expression showing why he even stopped. “Not yet.” He pants out and suddenly you're flipped. You're on top of him, his cock was pressed against your ass. He was smiling up at you. What an amazing view it was to him. To see you on top of him, panting and looking down at him. His hands grab the dress and pull it off of you. It got in the way anyways. Zayne grabbed his cock and taped it on your ass. You grinned down at him and said, “You're an impatient doctor. I thought you were supposed to be.” You say as you rise yourself up. “How can I?” Zayne says and pressed the tip of his cock to your cunt and you lower yourself. He groans at the once again warm sensation on his cock. Oh how he wished he could feel you without the stupid condom.

You pressed your hands down on his chest and started to move, back and forth. Your poor clit rubbing against his lower stomach, getting it wet. Zayne holds on to your hips and thrust in you, making you scream. He lifts his hips up and fucks himself in to you while he sucked on one of your nipples. You grabbed on to the head of the bed as he fucked himself in to you. “Ah- I love you.” He suddenly groans out, making your pussy clench. He bites down on your nipple. You could hear his pants getting heavy and louder. His thrust became more sloppy. You moaned, “I L-love y-you- ah!” Your eyes rolled back, throwing your head back as you came in his cock, making Zayne groan and hold tightly onto you as he cums as well, filling the rubber up with his hot cum.

You two pant, trying to catch each other's breath, your sweat mixed with his, the room feeling warm and the lingering smell of sex filling it. Zayne gently lays you down in the bed, took off the condom, wrapped it up and threw it away. He grabbed a towel and handed it to you. “Here, wipe off the sweat. I'll prepare a bath for us.” He said and placed a kiss on your cheek. You smiled at him and kissed him back before he could leave. You gently wiped off the sweat on you and stared up at the ceiling as all you can remember what had happened. You smile to yourself and think, today everything went well. He loves you, he really does and he proved it to you today.

Zayne gently moved his hands up and down your side as he kissed your neck. You relaxed on to him, the warm water and cent of lavender in the bath making you feel relaxed. You talked to him about Sylus and how he had stayed at your place to explain why Sylus had even opened the door. You also told him that you too confessed to him but you didn't want to hear Sylus opinion, it was something you just wanted to get off your chest. Zayne listened to everything you told him as he continued to kiss your neck.

“Will you stop? Don't your lips feel sore already?” You smiled and Zayne Chuckles. “They are sore.” He placed one last kiss on your cheek. “How do you feel?” He asks. “Amazing.” You smiled. Zayne shook his head and said, “No, in general. Do you feel hurt? Sore?” ah, the doctor instincts. But it did feed his pride a bit when you said that. “I'm alright, Zayne.” You reassured him. As Zayne watched you close your eyes and relax on him, he thought for a second that maybe, he just wants to marry you right now. His hands slowly move to your breast and he cups them. “Hey!” you say and he just chuckles. He closed his eyes and imagined you in your beautiful wedding dress, your beautifully made hair, and your long veil. You two slowly danced together as you looked up at him and smiled, maybe even cry, well, it would be him crying at how beautiful you would look.

Zayne just wished that the day would come when everything was ready just for him to ask.

___________________________________________

Tags:

@nm4565natty @animegamerfox @crimsonrubie

___________________________________________

I am so sorry it took me a good while to post. As you saw in the top im not sure if I'd write something small but who knows? Thank yoh everyone for reading i love you all <3

[teruthecreator]

gimme 1 and 17 dialtown ☎️

hiiiii griffin i hope you're having a good time at graduation. probably not since u sent this ask but hey man i get i too was on my phone during graduation. anyway

1. the character everyone gets wrong

oh boy where do i start with this. i mean like. tee bee aych i feel like most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of randy. like he's not pathetic for pathetics sake he kind of intentionally puts himself in the worst situations imaginable to feed his worldview of everything being bad for Him specifically and no one else. the fandom kind of babygirls him? like treats him softer and generally makes him more of a shy uwu guy rather than a person stuck deeply in his own fractured worldview that is intentionally letting himself get worse. like randy's whole route is about making him realize his happiness is His Choice, His Decision and not a work of fate/luck/unseen outside force that he has to relinquish control to, and everyone just goes "yeah but what if we make him sopping wet uwu yaoibait guy with oliver".

speaking of oliver i feel like EEEEEEEEEVERYBODY makes him way too wacky and not actually grounded. like, despite his many odd mannerisms and such, he is still one of the few characters who has a job and is able to Maintain That throughout his route (though, of course, in the good route it changes). oliver is a pretty stable guy, all things considered. sure he talks funny and has a general inclination for the ridiculous, but a lot of people kinda coke him up and let him run loose like he's a wild animal. and i think it's more fun if you ground him in a place of reality and then let him play. instead of being the guy to drag people into stuff, let him be a part of a scenario and see what his reactions are. much more fun. also i feel like a lot of people forget how, like, awkward he is? like he tends to apologize when he says really outlandish/forward shit and seems to view Himself as a "freak" in a way that would suggest he's aware of how he stands in comparison to most people. like dude knows he's weird, and that's not Always a good thing.

and yknow what while im talking about the main dateables i would be remiss to bring up karen because like. WOW. i mean this is a problem with most fandom spaces unfortunately but the way people straightman her is so fucking sad. like people forget she literally quit her job on a Whim because someone vaguely suggested leaving and she went full throttle. karen is impulsive and karen makes bad decisions based on rash judgments and she is generally not that hard to goad into doing something stupid. i mean, she agreed to a date with gingi. twice! that takes some real loose grips on impulse control to just go along with that. like sure she is a bit more deadpan than, say, oliver, but she does have a sense of humor. she likes to use sarcasm! she has wit she has sass. also she is like. INSANELY jealous and i feel like a lot of people dont hone in on that aspect of her being the reason why she is sometimes so rash. she is fiercely protective of those she considers "hers". she wanted to Kill A Giraffe because gingi liked it. she is jealous she is rash she is impulsive PLAY IN THE SPACE STOP MAKING HER THE DEADPAN STRAIGHTMAN ITS SO BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

okay that's enough of that but just know i could've done it for every character

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

maybe i am insanely ridiculously biased but there should more content of mingus and norm. or just mingus. or norm. those two are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fascinating and i feel like people kinda gloss over that. like they're similar beasts in their rampant paranoia and flawed perspective on callum/the world and they butt heads about it like crazy. generally their dynamic is one of the most interesting parts of chapter 3 to me and i feel like there really isn't enough chapter 3-focused content out there. we should talk about these guys more. and if i have to stand on a podium and take a stand there should be more content of MINGUS. girl is the driving antagonist of AN ENTIRE ARC. BASICALLY THE WHOLE GAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. AND NOOOOOO I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE. IS IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN? I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DIRECT YOU PEOPLE TOWARDS HER BUT I WANT TO. if my brain was functioning at the capacity it was last july i would've written ten million fics about her i have so many days. alas, i don't know if they'll ever happen... (but if people were curious i would gladly share)

but in a slightly more biased take, i think there needs to be more normingus in the world. how we were the chosen few to proclaim the good word of normingus is beyond me. like don't get me wrong i'm happy tryt had its impact but JESUS CHRIST I SHOULD NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR. SOMEONE ELSE COME TRY AND PLAY IN THE SPACE WITH ME. I CAN GIVE YOU IDEAS. I CAN GIVE YOU SO MANY IDEAS.

[hoonieyun]

the snake ₊ ⊹

pairing: lee heeseung x reader genre: angst, romance, betrayal, strangers to lovers warnings: religious themes, kissing, profanity, skin ship, alcohol, cheating, manipulation, toxic relationships, suggestive, talks about losing virginity and sex but not explicit, yn has an anxiety attack, 18+

synopsis: your simple life takes a turn when meeting heeseung, a handsome stranger turned boyfriend who shows you all of the finer things in life; making you question your desires and temptations.

hoonieyun notes: guys im gonna be honest i wasn't expecting this to be this long so please don't expect the others to be as long or idk they might be im not sure LOL but im also going to say i dont think this is my best work, i think i got a little too in my head when writing this but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!

wc: 8567

the garden of eden

once a stranger that you had met on a sunday at church, you never knew how big of a role he’d play in your life. 

it was a bright and windy spring day. 

april 13th, a few clouds were in the sky, hugging the sun, when you had finished church. the day was still early but there was so much to do. your family wasn���t anyone important in the church, although the pastor made it a point to mention that everyone who steps into the home of jesus was important, you and your parents weren’t anyone who had a strong impact. 

you simply went to church on sunday at 10am and would leave at noon. on most days you’d have lunch with your parents at a seaside diner a few miles away but on this specific day, the pastor had spoken with your parents beforehand and discussed with them on how you should join their youth group, specifying that they had groups of all ages. you weren’t particularly opposed to the idea, it gave you something to do on sundays instead of spending it laying on your bed scrolling through your phone or procrastinating the homework you had for college. 

your parents had said yes before you could respond and although it rubbed you the wrong way, you chose not to fight it because you weren’t necessarily sure if you cared enough. that’s how you found yourself in a dimly lit room, somewhere in the back of the church, with several empty tables surrounding you. 

the air was stale and the sun barely shone through the curtains of the windows. if it was any other scenario, you’d probably find it quite eerie but you barely had enough time to let that unsettling feeling creep into your stomach because someone else was entering the room just as you began to wonder if this is where you should be right now. 

enter: heeseung. 

he was tall, light brown hair swept across his forehead, and an unsuspecting smile was plastered across his face as he walked into the room. 

“yn, this is heeseung. heeseung, yn. you two are the newest members of our youth group. i’d introduce you both to everyone but i thought since they all know each other and you two are new, i’d let you both get to know one another first before throwing you in with the other kids.” the pastor says and you and heeseung awkwardly exchange glances at each other. 

was it that serious? 

you still aren’t sure but for the next hour or so, you and heeseung bonded with one another in ways you haven't bonded with anyone before. a stranger at that. 

heeseung was sweet and kind, he found ways to help you open up about yourself in the short hour that you hadn’t even opened up to your friends. he made you laugh and not the type of laugh that had your eyes squeezing shut and your head thrown back, but the type of laugh that felt like it was reserved for a specific person. 

those 60 minutes felt like eternity with heeseung. not because it felt long and grooling, but because it felt like time stopped. for the first time, someone understood you in ways where you didn’t feel like you were putting up a guard. heeseung had this ability of just grounding you and you found yourself melting into him. 

that hour with heeseung on a random sunday turned to sticking by his side every sunday and eventually, becoming his girlfriend. 

he introduced you to all of the different things in life that you hadn’t experienced before. life before heeseung felt bland, mundane, and like you were a vcr constantly being played back and being forced to relive the same boring day over and over again. 

you didn’t have much to live for, aside from your parents and your small dog, life was just… life. 

heeseung showed you so much more than just life. 

but you knew to trust him. 

later that night, heeseung picked you up in his beat up cadillac. it was black in color but because it was so old, one could describe it as grey instead. he got it from his grandpa last summer who said that if he could fix it up and get it running, it was his. if heeseung was going to do one thing, it was get what he wanted. 

the party was everything you expected it to be, loud music, crowded rooms, and faces that you didn’t recognize except for a few people you knew from church. you didn’t expect to see anyone you knew, let alone some of the girls and their boyfriend’s from your church. heeseung’s hand didn’t let go of yours not once the whole night. he was there by your side from the moment he parked his car and the moment the night ended. 

that night was a lot of your firsts. 

first college party and party in general. 

first taste of alcohol, even when you turned 21 you had no desire to try it. 

first kiss. it sounds weird to say that you and heeseung were dating for a few months but he made no move to kiss you or any other advances. until that night, he gave you a few drinks and because you trusted him, you accepted the cup and drank what was inside; heeseung mirroring your actions. it didn’t take much to have you drunk and slurring your words so heeseung took that as the sign to take you home. 

you didn’t want to go home though so heeseung took you to his place where you’d end up spending the night. when heeseung carried you to his room, he gently set you down on his mattress before going to his bathroom. he returned with a purple item in his hands that crinkled when he fidgeted with it. 

“close your eyes..” heeseung whispers and you do as such. a cold and moist feeling meets your skin and you realize that he was taking your makeup off. such a tender and simple yet intimate moment between two people. his fingers on your skin were gentle and it only amplified your feelings for him. 

accompanied with the alcohol in your system and heeseung’s pretty face in front of you, your eyes traveled from his doe eyes to the plumpness of his lips. you blinked several times as you studied the shape of them. how pink they looked despite his room being fairly dark and how soft they looked even though you’ve never seen heeseung carry or use lipbalm in the time you’ve known him. 

“you alright, yn?” heeseung asks and you’re taken out of your thoughts as you look up at him. his tall stature stood way above you as you sat on his bed. heeseung smirked at the way you looked right now, looking up at him with wide and soft eyes. you looked so delicate and he was starting to struggle keeping to himself. 

you nodded, swallowing the dryness in your throat after heeseung's hands found them on your cheek; lightly caressing your face with his thumb. “i’ll get you some water and i’ll be right back, ok?” he says, softly patting your cheek before heading out of his bedroom. 

while heeseung is gone, you decide to take a look around his bedroom while you wait. the room was definitely one of a young man, clothes lazily thrown on various surfaces, a guitar was propped up in the corner of the room next to his dresser that had clothes peeking out, and several music and movie posters plastered on the wall. 

you got up to look at the photos on his desk, a frame that separated into four that contained pictures of him as a baby, a high school graduatone of the many times that heeseung brought something new into your life was when summer break began shortly after meeting him that spring. university was beginning to get busy during the spring with the semester soon being over so the both of you barely had time to see each other. once summer had officially started, heeseung took the first opportunity to see you and have some fun. 

“you really haven’t been to a college party before?” he asks, a smirk on his face. he was filled with intrigue at the idea of you being so sheltered and innocent, not to anyone’s fault but your own as you chose to stay away from those things. your parents didn’t restrict you from living a normal college life, they even encouraged it by saying all you have to do is be safe, but you took safety a little too seriously and chose to stay in all the time. 

you shook your head in response, a small pout on your lips as heeseung’s smile spread even wider. he had convinced you to come to a first day of summer party one of his friend’s was throwing. it was at the other university in your town and you were nervous about not  knowing anyone besides heeseung and that worried you. 

ion photo, and the other two of him with his parents. the pictures made you smile, heeseung still looked cute as ever and you could see the similarities of his features as a baby grow into the features he has now. you set the frame down and your eyes soon focus on a leather bound book open on his desk. you had met heeseung at church but his faith and the house of god was rarely a topic the two of you discussed. 

maybe it was because neither of you wanted to waste your time together with something already occupying your daily lives. you lean in closer to take a look at what page his bible was opened to, curious as to what heeseung has been reading but the opportunity quickly fades when heeseung’s voice gains your attention. 

“what are you looking at?” he asks, not in a way that felt like you had just been caught but one of genuine curiosity. you tell him that it was nothing, just admiring his baby photos and he just blushes while grabbing your hand and giving you the water he brought. the water is cold and almost stings your throat as you swallow it, like it was burning the scars that the alcohol had previously created. 

“feeling better, angel?” heeseung asks and you nod as you finish swallowing the water, thanking him for taking care of you. the low light in his room doesn’t allow for much to be seen, a lot of vague shapes and shadows as the night progresses further into darkness. what you can see clearly, however, is heeseung. he’s got his eyes glued to your face, taking in your features. the way your cheeks were still flushed from the alcohol he gave you, the way your eyes drooped and how you tried your best to keep them open, and the way your lips would pout as you tried to bite away the dryness of your lips. 

heeseung just loved watching you and he loved it even more knowing you were by his side. 

“can i kiss you?” 

the question hangs heavily in the air and for a second you just blink at him, unsure if you had heard his question correctly, but when heeseung asks again; you pull him close by the collar of his shirt and press your lips against his. the kiss sends a shock through your body, you don’t know where the sudden burst of boldness came from but it soon crumbled away when heeseung reciprocated your actions with even more passion. 

he kissed you back with so much desire, like he had been waiting for this moment for so long. his hands find a home on your waist and hips as he pushes himself over you, your body slowly falling onto his mattress. heeseung was now on top of you, devouring you into his mouth like his life depended on it. 

you were too embarrassed to tell heeseung that this is the most you’ve ever done with anyone, hell, you hadn’t even had your first kiss until now and it’s feeling like tonight was full of firsts for you. however, when heeseung begins to take his clothes off, pulling himself off of you for a second to shrug off his jacket, you take the moment to stop it before it goes any further. 

it wasn’t particularly because you were scared.. well, maybe you were. but you weren’t sure why. 

you had always been told of the sins of premarital sex and right now it was feeling a lot like that. had you even sinned before this moment? the question makes you recall all of the other events of the night and you come to the conclusion that you had sinned several times in one night. the guilt eats you from the inside out and you can't bring yourself to keep going. the way the faint light from outside of heeseung’s window cast a shadow across his face made him look almost unrecognizable. 

his eyes were the only thing that was easily identifiable but even then it didn’t feel like his eyes. like they belonged to someone else. heeseung’s eyes didn’t look bright or soft like they usually do, but instead were sharp; like a predator hunting its prey, stalking it in the shadows and waiting for the right time to pounce. 

temptation was something you never had to worry about. that, paired with desire, you knew it was a dangerous thing and although this specific moment felt good and your body reacted the way you expected it to react, you couldn’t help but think about how this is what you were told would happen. how you’d hear the whispers of heavenly causes and fondness when you were closest to sin. 

 when heeseung leaned down to continue kissing you, your hand flew to his chest to stop him, “hee.. um. i’m tired, maybe we should sleep.” it came off more as a suggestion but you didn't know how to tell him to stop. you could barely make out the expression on his face but you could feel the disappointment. he doesn’t say anything, heeseung just nods and gives you a smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

heeseung pulled you close against his body, his warmth was enough to lull you to sleep, but the soft humming of his voice made you fall asleep even quicker. you were grateful that heeseung wasn’t upset about your decision and maybe it was a sign that he was the right one for you. you couldn’t deny that you were enjoying it but you’re just not ready for it and heeseung understood that. 

just not in the way you’d want him to. 

he didn’t fall asleep as fast as you did that night. he was staring at the back of your head for a while before he moved to staring at his ceiling; all the while his arms never left their place around your waist. heeseung was disappointed, he’s wanted to taste you for so long and he thought it would finally play out tonight. the way you tasted against his lips, the faint flavor of alcohol that clung to your tongue, how his own tongue fit into your mouth perfectly. it was like heaven to him, but heaven was short lived. 

matthew 4:1-11 jesus’ temptation in the wilderness  

after that night with heeseung, you hadn’t seen or heard from him in a few weeks. you were beginning to worry that your decision to not go any further drove him away that night and it made your chest ache. had you really been this dispensable to heeseung that any moment of resistance would create a wedge between the two of you. 

it made you regret your decision that night. you didn’t know how important heeseung was to you until now. no text or calls until 3am like you usually do, you didn’t even see him at church on sundays, and when you’d try to approach his parents; they’d just tell you that heeseung hasn’t been feeling well. you were beginning to feel so much guilt that your own decisions led you to losing him and you just wished you could go back to that night. 

what you felt that night wasn’t bad and although you had been told your whole life that it was, you couldn’t help but feel for heeseung the way he felt towards you. you were a virgin and for a while, you believed you’d be one until marriage; but heeseung showed you a type of love and desire that wasn’t anything you had felt before. 

the way he treated you felt good and maybe you just needed to admit to yourself that you were ready for it and to stop being afraid. 

when you were a child, you were really afraid of going on the swing set at the park; you had a fear that you’d swing so high up that it would catapult you into the sky and you’d never be able to come back down and see your parents ever again. 

the irrationality of that fear didn’t exist in your mind because the fear was so pervasive that you couldn’t think of anything else besides that. when you had finally gotten on the swing after confessing to your mom why you were afraid, it was nothing like that. it was fun. the breeze that blew past your face and the warmth of the sun on your skin as you swung upwards felt like a hug. 

maybe it was like that. 

being afraid for no reason and when you finally got to the point of doing it, everything would be fine in the end. 

after church on sunday, you decided that you’d walk home, telling your parents that you needed some fresh air and would stop by the park and head home after. your parents didn’t say much besides the usual “be safe and don’t be home too late”. thankfully, they were never overbearing and allowed you to have some semblance of freedom. 

you couldn’t say the same to a lot of the other girls at your church. you had it easy compared to them, they had parents that didn’t allow them to wear certain clothes if it showed too much skin, their hair was always down because putting it up would reveal their necks, white shoes in the church would always be paired with white frill socks, and by no means, at all, should they ever mess around with a boy– and yet… they all seemed to have so much more experience than you did. 

the three girls who were in charge of the youth group, all around your age, were all dating someone from the youth group. good and respectable boys that their fathers approved of but when heeseung took you to that party, you saw all of them. 

drinks in hand, hands on neck, and necks on display. it was as if the way they appeared at church was just a facade and this was who they truly were. it came to you as a shock that the way the girls and boys at your church presented themselves was drastically different. like they lived completely opposite lives to the ones you assumed they lived when you’d see them walk through the big wooden doors of the chapel. 

maybe they appeared that way for the approval of their parents because it definitely wasn’t for the lord’s approval as he’s been witness to the sins that they’ve committed. you saw the same three girls head to the back section of the church where youth groups met and just a few feet behind them were their boyfriends. you would’ve never guessed that the sweet smiles and kind gestures they offered to the elders at the church were their ways of protecting who they really were underneath the tight pleated skirts that stopped just above their ankles and the soft wool fabric of the sweaters the boys would wear over their white dress shirts. 

you walked right past them and decided to exit, not wanting to attend the youth group because it only reminded you of heeseung, “not attending today, yn? we haven’t seen you in a while.” one of the girls said, a bright smile on her glossy pink lips. you shook your head in response and continued walking but halted in your steps when a thought popped inside of your brain. 

“do you- do you know where heeseung’s been?” you ask her as she’s about to shut the door to the room, she gives you a small smirk; like she knew exactly what you were getting at and better yet, she knew what you and heeseung had been up to prior to his disappearance. just as you saw all of those people at that party that you saw regularly at church, they saw you too. 

“try looking at eden park. there’s a little garden in the back east of the park; it’s covered by a lot of trees but there’s like a red sign there. you’ll know it when you see it.” 

you thank her before heading off, surprised that she had given you any information at all because you two weren’t necessarily friends with one another. 

the walk to eden park wasn’t long but it felt like eternity as you ran through the different things you’d say to heeseung if he was even there. did you have any reason to trust her words, no; but you also didn’t have any reason not to trust her.

you were beginning to think that doubt was a normal thing in your life. or maybe more so curiosity. curious if heeseung would be there and curious if her advice would ring true. curious where heeseung has been and why he’s been ignoring you. curious on what would’ve happened if you didn’t stop heeseung that night. curious if heeseung still felt the same about you. as you walked through the short patch of forest at the back of eden park, twigs snapped and leaves crunched underneath the soles of your white shoes. you were beginning to think you had been lied to but that was until you stopped at a tree to catch your breath and contemplated turning around when you saw a wooden plank hanging from a branch just a few feet away. 

just like she said, the sign was covered in red paint and had words in black paint. 

“garden of eden” 

you blinked several times at the sign as you walked closer, staring at it as if it was a symbol of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on why it seemed like it was of importance. as you pondered, you soon could hear several voices emerge from behind a group of trees– following the voices, a clearing of grass welcomed you and you finally saw him. 

heeseung is sitting on a wooden bench, surrounded by three guys who you didn’t really know but recognized from your town and occasionally at church. heeseung had a cigarette in between his fingers, smoke flowing from his lips as he took a drag and exhaled. you looked at him for a moment, had he gotten more handsome since you last saw him? 

your heart began to beat a lot faster at the sight of heeseung. you missed him dearly and his absence in your life has had a bigger impact on you than you could imagine. 

“hee?” you say, your voice is soft but effective because it catches the attention of all four boys. the boy that you recognize as jake was the one you were most familiar with. he had been showing up more frequently in your neighborhood because he started seeing the girl that lived next door recently. the other two you didn’t know much. 

heeseung’s big eyes shoot upwards and catch your gaze. heeseung would be lying if he said you didn’t look beautiful because the way the sun was peeking through the leaves of the trees and the light brush of the breeze in the air made you look ethereal. his voice gets caught in his throat because he isn’t even able to say anything. 

“you know her, heeseung?” one of the boys with thick eyebrows asks and he just stares at you. he’s not sure if it’s because he doesn’t know what to say or if it’s because your beauty has him stunned. truthfully, heeseung has been ignoring you because he was disappointed you didn’t want to have sex with him but after seeing you now; he’s feeling like an idiot. you looked so beautiful, the way your eyes seemed to sparkle under the sunlight, the way the sun cast a shadow on your face but perfectly highlighted your lips, and how your hair effortlessly blew around your face– avoiding obstruction of your beauty. 

heeseung stutters a small no and it breaks your heart. that small crack in your heart grew and a sense of betrayal strikes through your chest. did heeseung just act like he doesn’t know you? you’re stunned by his words, your eyes continue to glisten but this time from the tears threatening to spill and your lips fall into a frown. you swallow the dryness in your throat and don’t even know what to say– this was the last thing you expected to happen. 

“what’s your name, pretty?” the other unknown boy asks and heeseung’s jaw tightens at his question. he sends him a glare from behind that only you notice but not even that could help how you are feeling right now. without a second thought, you turn on your heel and run out of the garden, out of the small forest, and throw eden park. 

tears have made their journey from yours down to your jaw, not even bothering to wipe your face as it begins to blur your vision. there were so many emotions running through your mind and the aching behind the boned cage in your chest was getting unbearable. it was like you could faint at any moment– you clutch the fabric of your yellow dress as you continue to run. the fabric crumpled under your tight grip but it didn’t provide any support. 

your chest was tightening and your breathing was getting sporadic. 

is this what death feels like? you thought to yourself as you got closer to home, bursting through the back door and ignoring the calls from your mother that dinner would be done soon. she doesn’t pay much attention to you and doesn’t realize the state you’re in. stumbling in your bedroom and locking the door behind you, you tear off the clothes confining your body, scratching and palming at your chest and neck as you begin to struggle even more to breathe. 

the walls of your room begin to spin as you try your best to crawl to your bed, barely pulling yourself up from the floor onto the plush mattress. you try to steady the dizziness in your head but the pressure behind your eyes was taking over and you didn’t know why this was happening. 

a white light flashes over your vision and a high pitched ringing floods your ears. 

a cool breeze wakes you from your slumber, eyes fluttering open as you’re met with the bright blue sky with a warm yellow ball kissing your skin. you aren’t sure what time of day it is but the only thing on your mind is the fact that you woke up in a field of grass and flowers. you palm the grass near you and reach for the white petaled flower, “lily of the valley..” you murmured. 

you looked around the field and it stretched yards and yards around you as small white flowers were sprinkled throughout the endless sea of green. confusion fills your mind as you squint at your eyes when a tree off in the distance comes into your vision, you hadn’t seen it prior when you first looked around. the tree had just suddenly appeared and it was like the tree's roots had emerged from underneath you. breaking through the dirt and wrapping itself around you as you find yourself walking closer and closer to the large tree. 

the tree’s branches and leaves swayed as the wind blew. there was a faint ringing in the air as you looked at the bark of the tree, its lines and abstract patterns reading in your head like an optical illusion. 

that light-headed feeling you’ve grown familiar with is starting to return and when your knees almost give out from underneath you, a pair of strong arms catch you before your body meets the earth beneath you. 

you look up to find heeseung staring back at you, a small smile on his face as he pulls you upright. eyes rapidly blinking as you process the boy standing in front of you. similar to the tree it seems like he just materialized. “what’s wrong, honey? you look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” 

it was hard to come up with a response when nothing made sense, heeseung and this tree randomly emerged and when you felt like it was just a mirage of sorts from being awoken; everything felt so real. you reached out to grab heeseung’s face and the soft plush skin under your fingers only solidified how real heeseung was right in front of you. 

“take a seat, you look like you could faint at any moment.” 

heeseung guides you to the ground, carefully assisting you in sitting next to the tree; resting your body against the rough bark. “hee, where are we?” 

he doesn’t respond right away, eyes travelling from your exposed knees, over the curves of your lips, and landing on your eyes. the sun was shining just right and it was illuminating your eyes and making them appear as marbles. the colors are piercing and so striking, “it doesn’t matter where we are, all that matters is that we’re together.” 

the moment feels warm and touching, it was like all of the worries and issues you previously had with heeseung had just disappeared and there was nothing getting in the way of what you have now. you smiled at his response, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm wraps itself around you. it was times like this that you shared with heeseung that felt a lot like heaven. a type of luxury that you couldn’t always afford. 

“hee?” you ask, turning your head to face him, eyes directed upwards. 

“how did you get here?” 

you can hear him swallow his response, his heartbeat slightly speeding up at your question. 

“you look a bit sick, are you ok?” 

“im fine– can you answer me? i’m not sure how i even got here, then you just appeared..” 

“honey, you’re looking faint– hold on.” heeseung gently pulls away from you and stands on his feet. your eyes follow him as you watch him reach for an apple from the tree, one that you hadn’t noticed prior. your eyes travel to the hem of his shirt, his skin peeking out slightly as the fabric rises a bit higher than where it usually falls. heat rises to your cheek at the sight of heeseung’s skin being on display. 

things suddenly appearing with no explanation was making it a lot easier to identify real from fake– and right now; it was all seeming fake. “that apple wasn’t there before, i– here eat this. you look sick and you’re worrying me.” heeseung interrupts you, cracking the apple in half with his bare hands and bringing it close to your lips. 

you look directly into his eyes now that he’s crouched down. you hesitate to take the apple, wondering why heeseung was avoiding your questions. your eyes falter under his gaze and land on the apple itself, the soft hue of the inside of the apple slightly glistening from its moisture. when you reach to grab the apple, heeseung pulls it away, your eyes flying upwards with a confused expression on his actions. 

heeseung simply shakes his head and raises the apple back to your lips, you open your mouth slightly and heeseung gestures for you to keep going, raising his eyebrows with a small smirk to encourage you to take a bite. the cold fruit makes contact with your lips as you take a bite, a soft crunching as the fruit breaks off and falls into your mouth. 

“good girl.” heeseung says, pulling the fruit back and gently patting your head with his other hand. “feel better?” 

you wanted to say yes but that feeling of lightheadedness was starting to creep back in and heeseung, who was at some point just smiling at you, has now tripled in your vision and it was beginning to be difficult to keep your head from rolling to one side. 

“oh, honey. you don’t look so good, just sleep now… ok?” heeseung says, pulling you into his arms; hand gently rubbing your back as the heaviness in your eyes has become too hard to fight off. you rest your head on his chest, heartbeat lightly thudding in your ears like a lullaby. heeseung quietly hums you to sleep as he smiles down at your sleeping figure. he brushes a few strands of hair away from your face to take in your sleeping state. 

“so beautiful..” he mutters to himself. 

“and all mine.” 

the last memory of heeseung on your mind before falling asleep was his smiling face as he fed you that apple, grateful that he cared enough to ensure you had sustenance inside of you– heeseung cared about you so much and his worry that you were falling ill only showed his love. unbeknownst to you, something changed inside of heeseung when he watched you bite from his apple– a smirk growing wider with hidden intention. 

heeseung continued to watch you sleep in his arms, bright red and fiery eyes with dark elliptical pupils down the center. a low hissing in the air as he gently runs his fingers across your exposed neck. 

a rhythmic melody rings throughout your head, getting louder and louder, and when the sound becomes unbearable like it’s playing directly inside of your head at the loudest volume– your eyes fly open. a gasp rips through your chest as you lurch upward, a thick white blanket covers your body and the cold wind from your window sends chills up your body. 

the sky was completely dark and you weren’t sure what time it was, a sense of deja vu washing over you. you suddenly remember that your phone is ringing, the vibrations on your bed aiding you in finding where it was. when you grab the phone, the bright light causes you to flinch and when you squint to adjust, heeseung’s name is written in bright white letters across the screen. 

you stare at his name on your phone a bit too long and the call goes unanswered. your mouth falls slightly open when you realize you were too stunned to answer the phone but his name reappears just as quick as it does disappear. 

“hee?” 

“love? hey.. you answered…” his voice sounded hoarse and a bit slowed– like he had been drinking. 

“i’m outside, can we talk, i know it’s late but i just really needed to see you and– okay. i’ll come down in a second.” you cut him off from rambling because quite frankly; you wanted to see heeseung and confront him about what had happened in the garden earlier in the day. 

the events of your dream are nowhere to be found in your mind as you throw on a sweater over your body and quickly tiptoe outside, making sure not to make any noise so as to not wake your parents. 

and just like he said, heeseung was outside, waiting in his beat up cadillac. the low rumbling of his car gets louder as you approach and when you’re close enough, you can see heeseung’s eyes light up when you come into his vision. 

he reaches over to unlock your side of the door and it makes a squeaking sound when you pull it open, “hey..” he says, just above a whisper. something felt different about heeseung and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. you weren’t sure if it was because he may have felt guilty for how he treated you in front of those boys or if he truly missed being around you. when you take the seat next to him, he’s quick to grab your hand and place a kiss on your knuckles. his lips staying on your skin for a bit longer like he’s been away from you for too long. 

“hee- i missed you so much.” heeseung says before you could get anything out, continuing to pepper kisses across your arm. the moisture from his lips leave goosebumps rising on your body quicker than you can react to heeseung’s actions. 

he was indulging in you and although you wanted to talk and give him a piece of your brain, the feeling of him on your skin feels a little too good– clearing your thoughts instantly. 

“c’mere.” heeseung says against your skin, pulling you forward and onto his lap. his lips move from your arms to your neck– something that you know better than to keep exposed. you should be afraid of heeseung was going to leave marks but you didn’t care. the kisses burned as he left small wet spots on your neck. you missed this. 

being so close to heeseung and having his body against yours. 

the only thing in your mind was heeseung. 

when he pulled away from your neck to look into your eyes, there was an unspoken conversation happening between the two of you– an agreement that felt like you were able to connect with one another just through a simple gaze. 

heeseung’s hands travel through the flats and curves of your body, over your sweater, and onto the back of your neck. he pulls you forward with ease and for the first time in a while– heeseung presses your lips against his. the electricity that shoots through your body is enough to power a whole town. 

you get lost in the kiss, hands roaming across your body as you place yours on his chest and shoulder for support. the feeling of his hands ghosting over the hem of your sweater and making it’s way under the 2 layers of fabric covering your body. 

right now, your brain, veins, and heart are filled with heeseung. 

and you were content with that. 

the following few weeks after the night with heeseung in his car was filled with sunshine and rainbows. as cliche as it sounded, you were in heaven whenever you were with heeseung, your lips were always formed into a smile and your cheeks always ached from how much he made you laugh. 

you didn’t think life could get any better when you had heeseung by your side and you were so happy to have finally let go of the fear and sharing that moment with heeseung. you trusted him and although there was a low rumbling from inside your chest, you knew that it was just your heart getting used to the new yet exciting experiences that heeseung brought to you. 

tonight would be another one of those nights and you were at a party with heeseung. you had soon learned those boys from the garden that day were his friends jake, who you knew, and jay and sunghoon. you were cordial with them but didn’t bother to get to know them because heeseung always kept quite the short leash on you. 

heeseung didn’t like when you were too far away from him and he made sure to keep you near at all times, except for right now. 

you were making your way through the crowded house of people dancing and drinking to get to heeseung who was patiently waiting for you to return with more alcohol. you had grown quite the habit of drinking and partying when you were with heeseung but you didn’t mind because he taught you to have fun and indulge in these kinds of things. 

when you return to the living room, where you last saw him, you’re stopped in your tracks when you spot heeseung with a girl you didn’t recognize. you weren’t the type to get jealous, at least you didn’t think so, but his hands were dangerously low on her hips and his thumb rubbed circles on the exposed parts of her waist. 

it infuriated you to see him like this and even more at the fact that you weren’t even gone very long and he’s already found some other girl to keep his body warm. warmth was an understatement when describing the fire inside of you now. 

you were furious. 

you stomped towards heeseung and the unknown girl, eyes like daggers as you got closer, and before you could think– the contents of the cups in your hand emptied on both heeseung and the girl. gasps fill the room as the cold liquid makes contact with the girl and those close enough to feel the small fraction of anger inside of you. 

“what the fuck, yn?” heeseung exhales with disbelief. 

you just stare at him, lips pressed into a thin line and arms crossed, head tilted to one side as if you were challenging him. this made heeseung angry even though you were the only person who had every right to be upset right now.  

heeseung roughly grabs your arm, in contrast to the usual gentleness that you were familiar with when it comes to heeseung, and he’s dragging you to a random room on the second floor of the house. you did your best to root your feet into the ground but heeseung’s strength easily overtakes yours as he pulls you into an unfamiliar bathroom. 

“what’s gotten into you, huh?” frustration is clear in his tone. 

he looks at you with sharp eyes, so piercing you couldn’t bear to look into them so your eyes travel along his face. the usual softness of his features disappear due to his anger; his jaw is clenched and the vein on his neck is starting to make an appearance. you scoff in response, not bothering to give him a proper response because he should know exactly what’s gotten you so upset. 

“you wanna act like this?” he was testing you, trying to push you to keep going because he knew that in the end you’d submit to him. his eyes were boring into your face, you could feel the heat on your skin from the alcohol but mostly from the intensity radiating off of heeseung. you had never seen him this upset before and in any other situation maybe you would’ve already apologized; but he was flirting with some random girl at a party that he took you to so you had every right to be angry. 

he was lucky you didn’t do more than just spill some drinks on them. 

“don’t act like i’m being like this out of nowhere, you were practically pushed up on that girl like some needy victorian man.” you huffed, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms. you had never been this way with heeseung. everything is usually so sweet and soft– but in this moment; you’re brought back to all of the times where he’s pulled you to different ends. 

sure, heeseung introduced you to so many joyful things that felt like heaven. things that made you feel so alive and have something to look forward to; he opened your eyes to all of the things you had been missing out on and he brought out a side of you that you never knew lived in the depths of your soul. 

in a lot of ways, he made you the way you are now. 

as often as heeseung showed you heaven, like clockwork, he showed you hell. 

the happy and bright moments shared with heeseung were always followed with a type of low that felt like your body was plummeting through the earth’s crust and sending you to the heated core of the planet. 

like he was able to bring heaven and hell to you at the snap of his fingers. 

“is that what this is about?”

it earns him another scoff. heeseung had a habit of dodging accountability, like when he had promised to take you to the fair during summer because you had been wanting to go and it would be ending soon and the day that you were supposed to go, the last day of the fair being in town, heeseung ghosted you. 

something about how he was caught up with something and when you told him that a simple text would’ve been fine but instead he left you hanging the whole day, he got angry. he accused you of not being considerate of him and how you were so demanding, making you question your actions toward him. forcing you to believe that you were the one in the wrong in the situation and you should be more grateful to have him by your side. 

“you’re jealous over some girl? i don’t even fucking know her name!” 

“and yet you had your hands around her waist, heeseung don’t try to fool me. i know what i saw.” 

heeseung wipes his face in annoyance, small droplets of alcohol flying off of him when he swipes his hand. the argument goes on for what seems like hours. that tiny bathroom at this party was able to block out anything and everything that wasn’t on your side of the wooden door. heeseung had never yelled at you this way and you hadn’t ever spoken in that way before so you sounded unfamiliar to yourself. 

you couldn’t even recognize yourself anymore. the mirror behind heeseung casting your reflection that was slightly obstructed by his broad shoulders. 

your skin was dull and sunken in areas that casted a large shadow. your eyes didn’t sparkle the way they used to and it felt like you were withering away. like your body was showing you the consequences of your actions by turning you into someone you didn’t recognize. 

maybe that was why heeseung was with another girl. 

you weren’t as beautiful as you were the day he first laid eyes on you. 

heeseung was in the middle of ranting and letting his frustration out but you had long drowned him out. your reflection in the mirror garnering all of your attention and before you could let that unsettling feeling sink into your chest, you turn on your feet and exit the bathroom, leaving heeseung stunned by your actions. alone in that bathroom that was starting to suffocate you. 

you ran out of the house before heeseung could follow you, not wanting to give him a chance to catch up, so you push through the endless crowds of people who know nothing of the chaos brewing inside of you. 

the night was still when you stepped outside, like all of the events happening in this tiny house was suddenly gone and it was just you and the dark of night. 

the walk home was long but you weren’t completely alone. 

you had your thoughts to accompany you. your thoughts that continued to spin like a spindle and weave your thoughts into something destructive. spiraling your mind with each step you took that brought you further from heeseung and closer to the comfort of your bed. 

maybe you deserved this. you knew all too well all of the sinful things that you’ve committed since meeting heeseung and he only encouraged them. it was ironic that the two of you first met at church and you hadn’t even attended sunday mass for the last month or so. it was like you were losing track of time and had to rely on heeseung solely to guide you through this land. 

but here you were now, walking through the streets at night, like a mindless zombie yet you were so absorbed with the countless things swimming in your brain. several thoughts overlapping with one another, anxiety guiding the thoughts to the front of your head and dread holding them firm. 

the black ink of the ivory pages told you of this. 

that temptation and desire worked hand in hand in corrupting the least suspecting people. 

heeseung came to you in a time of your life where you had nothing. your life wasn’t bad nor was it good, you were merely just living to live and it showed in your everyday routine. heeseung came to you as something you didn’t know you even desired to have. 

you didn’t realize you were crying until a gust of wind blew past you and you felt the chilling sensation of moisture on your cheeks. you wipe your tears away with a sniffle and see the back of your hand was now covered in runny mascara. 

was it always going to be like this with heeseung? 

you were exhausted and you didn’t know if you could get through it. heaven was so close when you were with heeseung but hell was always in the shadows. he knew how to bring the best things in life to you but it was like he knew how to break you just as well. 

the more you realized you didn’t recognize yourself anymore, the more apparent it became that all of these unfamiliar things were laced with heeseung’s temptation and desire for you. he introduced you to your first taste of temptation when he reached his hand out for yours and promised that what he had planned for you would be something you’d grow addicted to. 

heeseung was your temptation and your desire was infecting your mind and soul. 

you had been walking for so long yet home still feels so far away. as you pass a small field, a singular tree at the center of the field calls out to you, like a siren’s melody luring in a fisherman. you find yourself resting at the tree, a sense of deja vu washing over you when you feel the jagged exterior of the tree’s bark. 

when your head falls back onto the wood, an apple falls into your lap, slightly startling you. 

you look at the apple with confusion as it lays in your hands, turning it over and dropping it with a gasp when you see the underside of the apple has begun to rot. a caterpillar burrowing through the apple and taking it all for itself. the caterpillars' desires are tempted by the sweet and addictive taste of the apple. 

a low hissing noise circles you, unsure of where the noise is coming from, you try your best to find where it’s coming from but with the current state of your body and mind paired with the darkness of night makes it difficult to see anything that wasn’t right in front of you. 

in the shadows, not too far away– a green snake stalks your body. eyes red and fiery with dark elliptical pupils down the center. waiting for the right time to mark you as his. 

ᡣ•.•𐭩♡ @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @manaah02 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @kristynaaah @17ericas @heeseung64 @leipforggy @enhastolemyheart @starcandybby @bussolares @lovelymelon

copyright 2025 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

[purebarnes]

WHAT SIDE IS RIGHT?

SYNOPIS. an argument between bucky and reader ends them break up

TAGS. Angst. Small fluff.

PAIRINGS. Thunderbolt! Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

NOTE. My babies. Marvel is getting my therapy bill atp anywayss please send requests ya guys have/want!!! i love hearing what you guys would like to read and also if you want to be be on a tag list lmk cause im up to create one

You weren’t exactly sure what had happened to you in the last year, to be exact the last 14 months when everything went so wrong. After the whole catastrophe with Thanos and losing many people in the process, you sort of didn’t have an idea on how to cope with that loss. You didn’t have anyone after Tony died.

He was like a brother you never had. But then you had Sam and Bucky, you thought that was enough. You didn’t need anyone else. Things were running smoothly, stable. It was you three.

Sam was your best friend.

Bucky was everything.

You deeply cared about both men so much, you all had lost people and gone through hell in your lives. But in this line of work, you understand what it meant to be a protector and people needed you.

So you had to make a choice. Even though it hurt you to even consider to get between them, you knew what it had to be.

Sam was the right choice. Right?

Sam had told that Ross had wanted him to re build the avengers. Past you would had many flaws and comments about that but it was Sam that would lead them. You knew he would be great. He obviously asked if you’d join his team and you of course obliged.

Then as he told Bucky, you only came to realize that he would be joining a new team called the “New Avengers.” Oh how that stinged.

Sam was distraught and betrayed by his best friend. Ross showed you the media report as he told you two that extreme measures needed to be taken. You groaned internally at this ‘War’ that it would create between each side.

So there you were, on the hard floor laying down. Just gazing up on the ceiling, biting your bottom lip slightly but enough to feel a little blood from your nerves that were pumping.

You felt the steps of a certain someone. He took a seat down on the floor and laid the same way, turning his head to see your face.

“This is about to turn to shit. You know that?”

Sam nodded, his face not changing.

He let out a loud sigh, his brows slightly raised. He understands what was about to happen but he couldn’t help but feel so hurt by Bucky.

“Well, i got you. Don’t I?”

Your mouth slightly raising, “Yeah, always.”

Sam leaned in and gave your cheek a quick kiss, watching him leave to go do business with Joaquin.

Bucky was a mess.

You left him. You couldn’t do it anymore, he made his choice pretty clear and so you needed to do the same. If you chose Sam then that meant you couldn’t be with Bucky anymore.

You were a nervous wreck that night..

You stood in the elevator, waiting for it to ding to show you were there but you were honestly happy that it was taking forever because you didn’t know if you were going to be able to go through with it.

Your heart was pumping, your left hand feeling a little numb. But that was just your nerves and they were shit.

You had a little liquid courage. Maybe that would help. Probably not.

The elevator doors opened and dinged and you saw that it was empty, you took a step forward. Bucky who was standing in front of the island, making a drink for himself as it looked since he was alone.

Sliding the alcohol, he drank it.

His eyes met yours as he licked his lips. He sort of relief seeing you, “Hey, doll.” He whispered gently looking at your emotional presence, your smile faded, eye lids heavy and just looking so exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Reaching over to grab your hand but you refused him to hold you. You backed up, “Don’t.” You muttered, looking down to refuse to meet his gaze.

Bucky’s brows creasing, a slight frown appearing. Confused, “What?”

“I can’t do this. We need to break up.”

Your lip already quivered, you felt the tears already forming but stay on the bottom of your eyes clearly refusing to fall.

“No. What are you saying? Did Sam put you up-”

“No! You jerk. This is all me, I can’t be with you if you are going to do this. You hurt him.” The tears already streaming, making your vision blurry.

Bucky shook his head. “Please. Don’t do this.”

“You made your choice. You choose others over us. Your family?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

You wiped the tears with your palm, “I hope they are worth it. Goodbye Buck.”

With that, Bucky grabbed you with all force and smashed his lips onto yours. Pure desperation, he couldn’t let you leave over something like this. The kiss full of lust. For a second, you cave in and started to kiss back with the same desire but you couldn’t do it. You shoved him back,

“No.. no. Stop.”

The second your lips parted, you let out a breathy sigh, earning for him back but you came here to do something.

“Tell me what to do..” He begged you, his eyes glistening with some sense of hope.

Your lips parted, waiting to say something. “If I said to leave, would you?”

“I can’t leave them. Bob needs us..”

You frowned at the older man, “We needed you. You said we were your family, we were there for you.” A permanent absence memory clearly.

“It’s different-”

“Bullshit. Everything I’ve done was for you, I nearly lost Tony just for you.” You seethed, a sob threatening to escape.

“Then I lost him and I had no one. Then I got you both and now I’m losing you again.”

Deep down Bucky knew the right answer. If it was for you then he’d do anything for you, you knew that but everything changed when he went back to New York.

“Please..” He voice faltering,

“Goodbye, Buck.”

You spoke finally and he just stood in place, not knowing what to say to you to help you or himself. There was no fixing what had broken, it was more then just Sam.

You started to walk the other direction as you met the eyes of 5 other people. Sensing they were the new team, your gaze turned into a unrecognizable stare.

You shook your head, that betrayal was worse then anything.

A final farewell, “One last thing. When it comes down and it will. This is a fight you won’t win and I don’t care who I hurt.”

The blonde and Brunette stepped forward, “Don’t worry. We got each other." Giving you a hard glare.

You chuckled incredulously, “How sweet.”

“You don’t have to do this.” John Walker spoke to you, a sort of understanding that he knew.

“See ya. Whenever that is..” you spoke before stopping and seeing one person, “And who are you?”

He looked up, nervously pointing. “Uh, me? I’m Bob.”

“Bob. Huh, see ya Bob.”

lifting up, you soon vanished away.

All eyes now turned to Bucky who had gulped down another glass of his choice of liquor.

Bucky, Yelena, John and Ava all walked out back in the new Avengers tower, “But we are the Avengers. The government said so.” Yelena spoke out.

“How does Sam Wilson not understand that?”

“Well, he does have the shield.” Bucky replied.

“I have a shield also.” John stated.

“It’s not a shield.” He retorted.

“It is a shield- It’s a shitty shield.”

“Great shield, Bucky.” John added before rolling his eyes.

Yelena groaned, “Okay. If he,” pausing before saying your name slowly, “put together a team then they call themselves the Avengers. Then who are the real avengers?”

Ava shook her head as Bucky eyed her since he still was dealing with losing you. It had been so difficult without you.

“Well, that’s the question the internet has been asking. And judging by the nasty memes I’ve read.. they don’t think it’s us.” John sighed sadly.

Yelena turned back to Bucky, “Weren’t you going to talk to him?”

“I already did.” He blankly spoke.

“And?”

“It went poorly.”

“And did you try to talk to her?” She gently asked.

“Yeah, she wants nothing to do with me. Nothing I can do.” Bucky blinked. Averting his eyes towards the floor.

“Great going.” Ava replied, “If you two didn’t have to say anything then she’d probably-”

“She thinks I chose you guys over her and I kind of did.”

“Do you regret being on our team?” John added hesitantly.

“No. I just miss her, like alot.”

Getting many sympathetic looks his way as he looked away, John nodded quickly.

“Look. I can help you find someone- I don’t want anyone.” He seethed shoving him harshly.

“Your track record is pretty awful.” Ava spoke truthfully.

“Shut up. I hate you all.”

Right in came Alexei, wearing an atrocious outfit like he was a nascar driver or something. “Hello, team.” Grinning at them.

Bucky groaned at his outfit, “What the hell are you wearing?”

“I heard about Wilson and your not girl anymore. They are dumb.”

“But, me, I’m smart, I’m smart man. I have smart solve.”

Yelena opened her mouth in disbelief.

“A-V-ENGER-Z! Avengers with a Z! There is no copyright.” Looking to see the approval from the team but no one liked it at all.

“Look- Feel. Like a baby seal.”

Bucky got up abruptly, Yelena looked up.

“Where are you going?”

“To go fix this.”

Bucky had not gotten far clearly as he saw you in the hall. Face clearly upset from possible tears you had fallen,

“Bucky..”

“Doll..”

You ran directly towards him as he opened his arms openly, you wrapped your arms around his neck . You both stayed there until you were forced to move. You couldn’t do it anymore, you were so alone and he was your light.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled in his neck.

“No, I’m sorry. I love you and I’m sorry for making you feel the opposite.”

You sighed, “I don’t want you guys to fight. I love you both.”

He nodded, “I know, baby. I know.”

You leaned back, “Can you please just try to talk to him? He agreed to hear you.”

“Yes.”

You smiled, in response you leaned in immediately peppering him with kisses, on his nose, many on his cheek, jaw, forehead.

“Thank.” Kiss “You.” Kiss. “I.” Kiss. “Love.” Kiss. “You.”

Bucky chuckled at the many kisses and gave you a long and passionate kiss. We’ll make out session as she brought you in a supply closet that night.

-

“Huh. You think they made up?” John asked.

There you were laying on top of Bucky, his breathing easing you up each time. Snuggled up together, Bucky having his arm wrapped around your back as you sighed happily in your sleep.

“No shit.”

“Aw, they are adorable.”

“Shut up. You are gonna wake them.”

“Just one picture-”

“No- my bad.”

You woke up to the shutter noise and started to groan at the loss of sleeping and your man’s warmth.

Bucky groaned. “You got 20 seconds.”

“What- wait Bucky. Too late.”

Bucky then had gotten up and chased them as you sat up and saw Bob who was reading his book.

“Hey Bob.”

“Heyy.” Waving at you so innocently. Oh boy.

[writingoddess1125]

Spicy Mangos

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x GN Reader

I've been super busy but I do have some stories in the works and will be posting again soon

Kofi

Masterlist

Goofy Shit

Simon had never really taken care of himself besides the basics.

Seeing how he only really got access to medical care when he enlisted he flew under the radar when it came to most things-

He got his annual checkups, his shots, visited the clinic when he was injured- But that was short of it..

It wasn't till you two started to date did you urge him to go get his health in order more-

You having pressed him to get more checkups and taking better care of his health.

That and Simon constantly learning new things about himself because of you as well.

At the most random times as well..

Like the time the you two were seated in the parking lot of a Tesco, having gotten McDonald's and now raided the store for some snacks before going to the movies-

Wasn't gonna pay stupidly high prices just for some candy and shit food..

Simon didn't have much of a sweet tooth he liked more savory things- However there were some sweets he would grab, This time being some sugared mango gummies.

As youre sitting there eating some fries the two of you talking about the movie you see him grimace slightly as he ate some of the mango candy-

"What's wrong? Do you not like them?"

He shakes his head as he grabs a few more and washing it down with his drink.

"I like 'em. They're just spicy-"

You pause mid bite of your fries as you look at Simon as he eats another peice of candy calmly.

Your eyes glancing at the packaging seeing how they were plain gummy mangos- it shouldn't be spicy at all..

"Are those spicy for you Simon?"

Pointing to the bag as he pops another in his mouth. Your eyes now looking over his face rapidly as you can see the red discoloration on his lips.

Simon gives a slight annoyed look as he raises a brow at you.

"Yes of cours'-Why Luv?"

With a soft hiss leaving your lips as you stare at him with a awkward grimace.

"Love.. Mangos aren't Spicy-"

There was a few beats of silence in the car then..

He stared at you before his eyes went wide and he slowly looked at the packaged candy. Pressing his lips together as he felt the same burn and tingle in his mouth and lips from when he ate spicy foods.

"Mangos... aren't spicy?"

You shake your head softly.

"No.. Baby. Mangos arent spicy"

You reach over and very carefully take the package from him like they were a ticking time bomb. Mentally trying to remember were the closest pharmacy was to hopefully get some allergy medicine for your boyfriend who was clearly having a allergic reaction- Even if it was mild.

Simon gave a heavy sigh as he connected the dots putting his head on the steering wheel.

"Fuck-"

[fuyuu-chan]

Hi! I saw that you were open for requests. Could I request Jinwoo and zhigang with a timid reader who sings soft heartfelt songs when they think theyre sleeping?

(Like penelope from Epic the musical. Specifically her part of Would you fall in love with me again

Heres a link of it helps: https://youtu.be/rF5tJ8xuaIc?feature=shared)

I feel like there would be a paralell between hunters and their civilan partners with Odyseus and Penelope. Like how Penelope will love Odyssus no matter what, the same way that reader will love their respective partner no matter what theyve done in the gates to live another day and come back home.

No pressure to do it, but if you decide to thank you so much!

"Would you fall in love with me again?"

Pairing: Sung Jinwoo x Reader & Liu Zhigang x Reader (Separate)

Warning: mentioned/implied of killing

Fuyuu-chan: Hii! Thank you for requesting, your idea was really amazing and i enjoyed writing this one! <3 Hehehe i hope i did it right and according to your expectations. I tried my best, also i don't really know much about the musical so i apologize beforehand if i did something wrong or i didn't portray it very well

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Sung Jinwoo:

"You look different, your eyes look tired Your frame is lighter, your smile torn Is it really you, my love?"

He came home feeling tired and a bit guilty(?), he saw how you greet him the moment he entered your shared house with that same cheerful smile. Just earlier he killed someone...a person, not a monster. 

"I am not the man you fell in love with I am not the man you once adored I am not your kind and gentle husband And I am not the love you knew before"

He felt guilty in a sense that, you love him because he was sweet, caring, innocent. Because you fell in love with him even before he was known as the strongest when he was still known as the weakest.

If you got to know whatever is happening to every dungeon he went into? Would you still love him? Or would you be scared of him and leave him?

He greets you back as he returned your embrace.

.

.

.

That night when the two of you finally laid down on the bed, he kissed you on the forehead saying goodnight as you snuggle next to him.

He closed his eyes as she hummed a lullaby. Being with her, laying next to her..its peaceful, he felt safe but yet there's still a lingering doubt, that lingering thought. But maybe he could enjoy this moment for a bit...for a while even though it may change the moment you got to know the person he had become.

.

.

.

You glance up to Jinwoo in which you saw him with his eyes closed, thinking he was sleeping you remain snuggled to him, softly singing a song that you have grown to like. Its a song with such a meaning, words that you wanted to say to Jinwoo but yet doesn't know how to, but thanks to this song you can express your feelings.

As you sang softly, you are unaware that Jinwoo was actually still awake, but he didn't let you know it yet. he simply listens and the lyrics had catch him off guard.

"I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where, or when No matter how long it's been, you're mine Don't tell me you're not the same person You're always my husband and I've been waiting, waiting"

As you sang those lines, he can't help but felt like you know what has been going through his mind, the turmoil that has been happening inside him. The doubts, the thoughts, the insecurities.

But yet here you are, uttering those words as if to answer all his doubts, to reassure him. sure, you might have just been singing a song that catch your attention but yet he felt like you are saying it to him, like you mean, like it came from your heart.

And knowing you, that is probably the case. you always sang him love songs, meaningful ones, but this one...this one is the one that he needed the most right now. Something he deeply wanted to hear from you, he haven't told you everything that is bothering him inside the dungeons, the things he did inside but yet there was a lingering thought that maybe you already knew. That you had him figured him out. Its no surprise though...you have known him long enough for you to read him like a book.

.

.

.

The next day, Jinwoo couldn't hide it any longer and admits everything. From what happened in the double dungeon, to the system and what has been happening all this time about leveling up. He was done hiding it all from you, not when you didn't question him at all about the changes that's been happening to him. You remained patient and treated him the same after all these years.

"Left a trail of red on every island As I traded friends like objects I could use Hurt more lives than I can count on my hands But all of that was to bring me back to you So tell me"

Then he told you about the things that has been happening inside the dungeons, the first time he killed a person to killing again until now. About the shadow soldiers.

You were shocked to say the least, I mean who wouldn't? What he said was beyond something you could even think about. to think he had gone through all that and kept it to himself all this time...

You were still processing all of it but you just embraced him, tight. you wanted to offer some comfort.

The fact he was the one guilty for hiding these to you, but you also felt guilty for not being there enough for him.

Jinwoo quickly returned your embrace.

"Jinwoo...all that matters to me is that...just come back home to me, safely"

And in that moment, he felt all his doubts and thoughts been washed away. He felt more relaxed, comforted, knowing that you will love him no matter what he had become. No matter what things he had done. 

As for you, Jinwoo is still Jinwoo. your beloved partner, for life. and nothing is gonna change that.

Liu Zhigang:

"I know that you've been waiting, waiting for love"

Liu came home after a long day in the dungeons, since he was a national level hunter, all the high rank gates was the one he handles a lot in China except for the gates that his guild covers of course.

You came up to him and greets him with an excited smile. "Welcome back"

He came closer to you and pulls you in a hug, tighter than usual. You didn't question it instead wrapping your arms around him to reciprocate and pats his back gently.

Silence fell over the two of you until Liu spoke up. "Would you still love me again?" he uttered.

.

.

.

An hour ago before he went home, he just finished raiding the last dungeon for the day, as expected after he exited there were quite some few paparazzi waiting for him outside.

'How annoying' he thought. 'Here are these paparazzi again, when will they mind their own business?'

He walked away, ignoring the flashing cameras and how the paparazzi are following him. He was just about to lose them when one of them spoke up and mentioned your name.

That person asked him questions if he will continue his relationship with you, if he is sure he wanted to be with just a normal person, a civilian. And even went as far as saying someone like you doesn't deserve him as he was basically the second strongest in the world and a national level hunter, that Liu should be someone deserving, someone who could stand beside him on equal footing.

And that was the biggest mistake they had ever done in life. As that moment was how they finally got on Liu's nerve, his last straw. Saying things like that about his beloved partner in front of his face, was a very bold move. And the consequences about it should have been considered by that person.

Liu took them all down in a matter of seconds, no matter if only one person was the only one who says that because the fact that the others was there, they must have been saying things like that too about you. And he wouldn't let it go.

.

.

.

You pulled away just a little bit to look at his face. "Why would you suddenly ask that? You know the answer to that"

Liu looks at your expression. Your soft expression was there but with a tinge of surprise, he did ask it out of nowhere and without context.

"Come on, you must be just tired" you said as you kissed his forehead and led him to the living room. "I'll go serve you your favorite meal I cooked-'

Before you could even take a step away Liu took a hold of your wrist and pulled you down with him on the sofa.

"Please just stay with me here" he mumbles as he wraps his arms around you.

.

.

.

A few minutes passed since Liu "trapped" you with him on the sofa as he rests his head on your lap. You gently run your hand through his hair as you started humming.

His eyes was closed but he is not really asleep. You didn't seemed to notice as you starts singing softly.

"I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where, or when No matter how long it's been, you're mine Don't tell me you're not the same person You're always my husband and I've been waiting, waiting"

You gaze at his "sleeping" form as you sang the lines quietly but enough for him to hear you.

He listened to you sing, it was soothing. Your voice makes him calm but what caught his attention was the lyrics you were singing.

He was not familiar with the song. But .... it felt like you were talking to him through the song. Are you singing this as to answer the question he asked to you earlier?

Because it definitely felt like it. You would usually sang his favorite songs but this one .... its new for him. But he had a feeling this one would become one of his favorite ones too. because this song, the lines you said, it reassured him.

He had an idea that you probably might have known what he did, but its not surprising as you have known him for years now, and the bond you share ... it was something extraordinary that one of you doesn't need to voice your thoughts for the other to know what you are feeling or thinking. But he had a feeling you still wanted to know what happened from him.

For now, he want to bask in your presence. On how you play with his hair as you continue to sing.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you.

[thetepes]

ig the brain damaged comments were a little mean 😭 but so is falsely claiming someone is a pedophile and rapist??

Ok, so you can admit that. Now let me show you why I believe Courtney.

If you don't have it, I can provide it, but in the Poke Madhouse comic during the Violate arc Lily had her wife draw out a complete reenactment of some of the key moments of Courtney's abuse. Finding out Lily had been abusing her in her sleep and Courtney putting a lock on her door.

I can not stress to you how eerie it was to have Courtney say certain phases unknowingly from that comic while describing it. Hell, there were even little moments she mentioned off hand like a specific series of events involving fighting over a remote.

Lily puts herself in the position of the victim and the next series of events are a build up to Lily forgiving G for violating her in her sleep and agreeing to be sisters after chapters upon chapters of mutual pining and kissing and a back and forth of being in love or not.

Once is something you can shrug off. Oh, that was weird. Whatever. Twice, also weird. Eh, it happens.

Three times? Ok, there's a pattern here.

Four?

Five?

How many times does Lily have to write the same sister's falling in love before you go "Ok, something's wrong here." How much pedophilia, like the nomnomnomi games who's dev made out with a 14 year old in that child's bed in their parent's house after lying about her age to get in, do we get to say "Well, that's probably just incidental"

And Stockholm is not 1 story. It's a collection of multiple chapter fanfictions. about 9 of them if I'm remembering right, replete with incest, pedophilia, and just about the worst shit you can think of.

The rpg maker games Lily made too are full of incest and pedophilia, about two or three of them.

It's not one or two things. It's multiple things that happened over years that have lead to this opinion and to say "Well, it's just a fanfic" or "Well it's just catfishing" isn't honest because the Tara Callie shit went way beyond that with multiple people, not just Britt.

There are victims and if you look into what happened with people there's abuse. There has been grooming. Britt, Gallade, and a few others have documented it very thoroughly. None of this is "Well she was a kid" She was in her 20s and up. Her age isn't an excuse here and it shouldn't be.

I get you just want to have fun trolling and telling me to kill myself is fun and all that, but it's not fair to dismiss the proof there is and the victims to pretend like there's no ground for the concern at all.

Just call me a crippled brain damaged retard that deserves the front end of a bus. I'll laugh at it while I'm at work or something and when my frontal lobe allows maybe I'll zing you back. That's all it has to be.

[calypso-apologist]

Is it possible that you could do a yandere Odysseus x Reader? It doesn't matter what kind of reader tbh...... Whatever your comfortable with is fine.

not my best one but it should be a decent read, at least-

Yandere!Odysseus returning after twenty years ♡

CW: murder. mentions of blood. yandere themes.

Twenty years.

You've waited for the love of your life to return for twenty years.

You've raised your son, watched him grow into a man. A dreamer, wanting to meet his father again, this time able to actually remember it. He was so little when Odysseus left, he couldn't have any memories of him. You tried to fill the void with tales of your beloved husband, sparking Telemachus's eagerness for adventures.

But as years passed, you started to lose hope. Despite standing strong, never letting your doubts show, doing whatever you could to stall. You'd weave the funeral shroud during the day and then unthread it at night, fooling the suitors for as long as you could.

And then, one day... the storm. You didn't know why, but you firmly believed that storm was a sign. He was back, damn it, he had to be. As foolish as your hope might've been... you were right. And you realized that, hearing the screams of men slaughtered in the halls of your very own palace.

You couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. As terrible as the suitors were, you thought Odysseus would merely chase them away after completing the challenge you've made. Pull a scary trick, threaten them a little, scare them into leaving... not kill everyone and screaming at them in fury.

And while your soul was soothed when you heard him with Telemachus, the moment he walked through the door to your bedroom, there was something... off.

It was your husband, yes. Worn out by two decades of trials and tribulations, with tired eyes and a frame much lighter than you remembered. You could probably pick him up easily, with how light he seemed now.

And despite the tired, sad look he gave you, despite the hesitance with which he approached you... something was wrong. Something in your body screamed at you to run.

You put that dreadful feeling aside as listened to him confess to all the horrid things he's done while away. You forced yourself to remain stern as you offered him one last challenge - the wedding bed.

And yet... something snapped in him when you demanded that he moves it. You could almost hear his heart shatter like a vase thrown against a wall. You could see the last few sparks of life leave his eyes. The way his fists clenched at your order.

For the first time in your life, he raised his voice at you.

He shouted, gripping your arms. How dare you? How could you? Do you not know what he went through? Do you not understand the hardships he endured? All the ways the gods have tormented him?

Do you even know how much he lost, just to get back to you?!

He's been to Hades and back, he watched his friends die, he endured years evading the advances of a Goddess, just to stay loyal to you, and here you were, thinking you could mock him by asking him to move the wedding bed that he carved into the olive tree that you've first met him under?! The tree he built his whole damn castle around?!

He was furious with you until you screamed back at him, making him realize that you were only testing him. And yet... it would seem the damage was done. Even despite how he seemed to soften again, there was something different in his eyes.

You could see how despite how gentle his hands were as they cradled your face, this wasn't your husband anymore.

It wasn't Odysseus, it was a monster.

Of course, he'd never harm you! No, no, no, you were his precious spouse, the love of his life! And he would never let anyone even try to separate you from him again.

And if you could leave your bedroom, you'd know that. It wasn't just suitors he killed, no... he slaughtered everyone who wasn't you or Telemachus.

He came back to his family. And he would keep his damn family as close as possible, damn it.

No matter the cost.