#how to prevent workplace violence

[employeesproductivityhub]

Creating Safe Spaces: Managing Workplace Violence

Violence in the workplace is a serious issue that can have devastating effects on employees and businesses. It can range from verbal abuse and threats to physical assaults and even homicide. As an employer or manager, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent and manage workplace violence to ensure the safety and well-being of your employees. In this article, we'll explore how to prevent workplace fierceness, who needs to be involved, and strategies for managing these challenging situations.

Understanding Workplace Vehemence

Workplace brutality can occur in any setting, from offices and factories to retail stores and healthcare facilities. It can be perpetrated by co-workers, customers, clients, or even strangers. Common forms of workplace savagery include physical assault, threats, harassment, and intimidation. It can have a significant impact on employees' mental health, job satisfaction, and productivity.

Preventing Workplace Severity

Preventing workplace cruelty starts with creating a culture of respect and zero tolerance for violence. Employers should establish clear policies and procedures for reporting and addressing workplace disturbance. It includes providing training to employees on recognizing and responding to potential threats. Employers should also conduct regular risk assessments to identify potential hazards and take steps to mitigate them.

Who Needs to Be Involved?

Preventing workplace disturbance requires a collaborative effort involving various stakeholders. It includes attendance monitoring, managers, human resources, security personnel, and employees themselves. Employers should ensure that all employees are aware of the organization's policies and procedures regarding workplace furiousness prevention. Managers should be trained to recognize early warning signs and respond appropriately. Human resources should provide support to employees who have experienced or witnessed violence. Security personnel should be trained to respond quickly and effectively to violent incidents.

Managing Workplace Brute Force Incidents

Despite efforts to prevent workplace aggression, incidents may still occur. In such cases, it's essential to have a clear plan in place for managing the situation. It includes ensuring the safety of all employees, contacting law enforcement if necessary, and providing support to affected employees. It's also important to conduct a thorough investigation to determine the root causes of the incident and take steps to prevent future occurrences.

Preventing Future Workplace Ferocity

After an incident of workplace brutality, it's crucial to take steps to prevent future occurrences. It involves implementing changes to policies, procedures, and practices to create a safer work environment. Here are some strategies for preventing future workplace fierceness:

Enhanced Security Measures: Review and enhance security measures such as access control, surveillance systems, and security personnel presence. Consider implementing panic buttons or emergency communication systems to enable quick response to potential threats.

Employee Training: Provide regular training to employees on recognizing and responding to potential violence. It should include de-escalation techniques, conflict resolution strategies, and how to report concerns or threats.

Encourage Reporting: Create a culture where managing remote employees feel comfortable reporting concerns or threats of violence. Establish clear reporting procedures and ensure that reports are taken seriously and investigated promptly.

Supportive Work Environment: Encourage a friendly work atmosphere where staff members are treated with respect and feel appreciated. Encourage open communication and address any issues or conflicts that may arise promptly.

Mental Health Support: Provide access to mental health support services for employees who may be experiencing stress, anger, or other issues that could lead to violence. It can include counseling services or employee assistance programs.

Regular Reviews: Conduct regular reviews of workplace severity prevention policies and procedures to ensure they are up-to-date and effective. It should include soliciting feedback from employees and making adjustments as necessary.

Collaboration with Community Resources: Establish partnerships with local law enforcement, mental health professionals, and community organizations to enhance workplace vehemence prevention efforts. These partnerships can provide additional resources and expertise to help address potential threats.

Zero Tolerance Policy: Implement a zero-tolerance policy for workplace savagery that clearly defines unacceptable behavior and consequences for violating the policy. Communicate this policy to all employees and enforce it consistently.

By taking proactive measures to prevent workplace cruelty, employers can help create a safer and more secure work environment for everyone. It's essential to remain vigilant and responsive to potential threats, as even seemingly minor incidents can escalate if not addressed promptly.

Conclusion

Workplace outrage is a complex issue that requires a comprehensive approach to prevention and management. By creating a culture of respect, providing training and support to employees, and collaborating with stakeholders, employers can help create safe and secure workplaces for everyone. Preventing workplace violence requires a proactive and ongoing effort, but the benefits are well worth it in terms of employee safety and well-being.

[skrifores]

I have seen the point being made that you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship for some behaviour to constitute domestic violence. I’m seeing this said with regards to Our Flag Means Death and what some people perceive as domestic abuse on Ed’s part - that him not being romantically involved with Izzy shouldn’t mean behaviour between can’t be considered domestic abuse.

It is an excellent point that in many places, the definition of domestic abuse isn’t restricted to intimate partners! It is often widened to consider any violence, coercion and emotional harm taking place within a home environment. Under this definition, children can be victims of domestic abuse by their parents, it can occur between siblings, even roommates - especially with a live-in landlord situation. And of course, the Revenge as well as being a workplace is ultimately where the characters live.

I think it’s very clear that the show is a workplace comedy about pirates, but if you want to apply the definition of violence, coercion and emotional harm within a home environment to your reading to the show, that can be done.

Of course, I would be surprised if you genuinely view it that way and still made it as far as even watching Season 2, given the way what you consider to be domestic abuse in this fictional setting happens so very often with little to no moral consequence, and is often intended to be taken as a joke.

I mean. In the very first episode, the crew talk about killing Stede, and begin to plan for this, including lighting him on fire.

Jim threatens Lucius and actually physically locks him in a small wooden box in the second episode for what seems to be quite a long time.

I think in 4, Izzy pulls on Fang’s beard and it really upsets him. He also talks pretty openly about the intention to kill the Revenge crew, though I’ll let that go at this stage since he doesn’t really live there so much as being there for the purpose of murdering them and stealing their stuff. Still, poor Fang, that looked like it hurt.

While we’re on Izzy, he does also actively try to kill Stede by stabbing him, and he then he goes and does the olde worlde equivalent of calling the cops on him on the intention of having him executed, which seems pretty fucked up on the ‘violence’ part of our DA definition but also hits pretty hard on coercive control since he’s doing this to get Ed to behave differently.

He does prevent the Navy from executing Ed, which is nice, but he does point out that he regrets this, which, ouch, emotional harm. If we’re doing real world definitions, “I should’ve let the cops I called on you murder you” is the sort of thing that would make me feel pretty fucked up. And we all know what it means when someone tells you to watch your step.

But it’s not all about Izzy! (It’s really not, guys, there’s a whole TV show here!) Buttons bites Lucius - who ends up needing the whole finger gone! And he’s a visual artist!

Even my darling man Roach tries to eat the Swede, and I’ve gotta say, I don’t think they were on that island long enough to justify murder.

And who could forget Mary?? Wonderfully written character, love her, but, she does with malice aforethought attempt to kill her spouse in his sleep with a skewer. She was right to do it, in my opinion, but y’know, even without broadening the definition beyond partner relationships, murder of your spouse is pretty classic domestic abuse.

So, y’know, the point I’m getting at really is that if your definition of domestic abuse is violence and control wherein the perpetrator and victim share a significant aspect of their lives like living space - that’s a fine definition in real life. It is the one I use, in real life. But if you apply it to Our Flag Means Death, I really don’t understand how you stomached watching the first season or why you came back for more.

And if you only apply this definition with regards to Ed’s behaviour, but not the rest of the characters, I do wonder why that might be.

[mysadcorner]

May I please request headcanons for Bruce, Damian, and Dick reacting to their female S/O who’s a bartender getting into an argument with her raging boss which turns physical as he starts to strangle her?

Batfam x Bartender!Reader Arguing With Boss Headcanons

-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -

Masterlist Navigation

Bruce

Bruce actually wouldn't mind you being a bartender, and he likes the independence that your job gives you rather than just hanging around the manor all day doing nothing. He does worry about the risks, but he can't complain too much as it's similar within all customer service jobs.

When Bruce first hears about how your boss treats you he is very much enraged, although he will try to keep his anger at bay as he knows that some bosses are like that to all employees. He'll try to convince you to get a different job as soon as you can to have a nicer working environment but he also knows that it can't always be that easy.

Bruce would be shocked if he saw you have an argument with your boss, since it was most likely in front of customers you were serving, and he'd try his best to de-escalate the situation if he can. His hopes would be that he could minimise the argument and save your job from being on the line before the possibility of anyone getting hurt emotionally and physically from his own doing.

If things get physical between you and your boss (such as him hurting you) then he would immediately intervenes he isn't going to tolerate any sort of violence, especially when it's directed towards you. Bruce might let his public persona slip momentarily but he knows that he shouldn't let this affect his reputation so he'll leave the justice he wants to give towards your boss for later.

After the incident Bruce would consistently check up on you and try to prevent you from going back to work for a while, or at least to that workplace. He'd immediately help you look for another job if you'd like to keep working, and he's well aware that his connections could absolutely ruin the business life of your boss which is exactly what he does (as it is well deserved).

Damian

Damian wouldn't have a problem with you being a bartender generally, but he would constantly remind you of the dangers that came with being one. He's constantly reaffirming the risks so that he knows you're well aware of them and will go out of his way to feel reassured that you can defend yourself if anyone drunk tries to do something towards you.

He would be quite angry and outspoken about your boss if you ever complain about him to Damian, and would probably be ready to deal with your boss in that very moment if you weren't there to stop him. He believes that people as rude as your boss should be put in their place and most definitely shouldn't have power over employees.

When you have an argument with your boss and Damian is there to see it he will step in to finish the argument itself, and tries to do this before it escalates too far. He's threatening and knows what to do to make your boss back off, which is the exact outcome he wants as he doesn't want to make you feel bad about Damian resorting to actual violence due to your bosses rudeness.

If your boss does resort to physical violence then there will be absolutely nothing to hold Damian back, not even you. He won't tolerate this kind of behaviour from anyone towards you, especially not someone who is supposed to be your superior in the workplace. So expect Damian to cause some serious consequences for your boss and prevent him from lifting his hands towards anyone else again.

In the long term your boss would probably have some mental and physical trauma one Damian was finished with them, and the business would also close down due to the reputation the bar gained from the bosses behaviour towards staff. He'd also help you look for another job if you wanted one, keeping in mind all the benefits and best pay he would look for just so you could have the best conditions, and he would check in on your boss every so often just to make sure they were "behaving".

Dick

Dick would prefer you to have a job that didn't surround bars or alcohol, but he really has no basis for this preference as he's a vigilante and he's a cop during the day. This doesn't stop him from worrying about you though, as he often does too much. But with plenty of reassurance he'll be fine with your job and will often check in during busy hours just to make sure the place wasn't getting too rowdy or there wasn't any crime in the area while you're on your way home.

If you complain to Dick about your bosses behaviour before the argument then he'd suggest a way for you to make an official complaint about it, or at least get the situation solved in some way. He'd even go out of his way to go in wearing his uniform just to give your boss a warning about his behaviour if you felt comfortable with him doing that for you.

When he sees the two of you having an argument he immediately spring into action and tries to make sure the boss is stopped from taking the argument any further before getting to the bottom of what caused the argument. He'd reprimand your boss in some way and would make sure word spread about your bosses behaviour as to ruin his reputation and to stop future business successes.

If your boss did become physical with you then Dick wouldn't wait around to try and calmly negotiate the two of you out of an argument, he'd go straight into restraining your boss and getting him away from you. If it's during the night he's make sure your boss was absolutely terrified as a repercussion for his actions or if this was during his work hours then he'd have your boss arrested and would make sure he didn't have the best conditions to sit through while in custody, such as placing him with the "bad cops".

After this has all happened Dick would spend a lot of time in areas your boss frequented just to remind him about his presence and that he's always watching your bosses behaviour. Your boss would probably be charged with battery if he was physical and would be left scared of ever hurting you again, which came with quite a big apology to you and even some sort of work bonus.

[dissociacrip]

it's not just having physical or mental impairments that prevent me from working most jobs but also the fact that working as a disabled person means another avenue for people (employers, co-workers, customers, etc.) to enact violence against me.

i'm happier when i'm not working because that means i'm getting treated like shit much less.

yeah, most menial jobs are like that, whether you're disabled or not, but i'm not just talking about the general stress of things like retail and customers cussing you out or threatening you, i'm also talking about stuff within the workplace. supervisors and co-workers not taking your health problems seriously. getting scapegoated by co-workers and management. having your pay docked (or getting fired) for working too slow due to your health issues but you can't prove it's discrimination (if that process is even worth it.) being treated like you're not putting in enough effort when you're putting in twice the effort as your abled peers and struggling just to stay standing. supervisors and co-workers finding you difficult and annoying and weird because you're autistic and think very differently to the way they do, plus you don't have an innate understanding of how they think. still being held to abled expectations even when you do disclose that you have physical/mental conditions, and also while having other co-workers who are given the lenience that you need but for whatever reason it's denied to you because favoritism or cliques mixed in with ablest attitudes/beliefs. having co-workers try to blame their mistakes and incompetence on your because you're an easy target. these are just some of my experiences.

you don't have to deal w/ nasty entitled customers in every position/field but the risk of nasty vile people within the company or organization you work for is always there and it's especially magnified when something like disability is brought into the equation since that directly relates to your capacity to perform work to capitalist expectations. and then possibly losing your job means losing income means losing ability to pay for medical care and basic survival needs.

constantly pushing yourself past your limits and getting sicker because of that to pay for medications that barely help and doctor's appointments where your problems hardly get assessed/identified anyway, or it takes forever.

and what this doesn't mean is that being completely incapable of work, jobless or on benefits, etc. is a privileged thing vs. working while disabled. those things come with their own sets of issues and risks for violence that can be very extreme and life-threatening and anybody who thinks otherwise has some shit they need to unpack.

[libraford]

Now I'm thinking about my demands if someone from my company asked me, a trans person, how they could make the workplace more trans inclusive:

1. The fact that you're asking an employee instead of just googling 'how to make your workplace trans inclusive' is a big step in the right direction, putting you a head of literally any place I've ever worked.

2. An HR department that actually serves its function and not just as spies for the company. Listens when I say someones being a turd.

3. Training for mediation so that when someone DOES say something transphobic there is some way we can prevent things escalating into physical violence.

4. Protections against said violence.

5. Company stops playing politics with their money.

6. Dont fire people for coming out. Obviously.

And then apply that to like... everyone. Like ableism, racism, homophobia, etc. Like most of these arent just for trans people.

Anyway that's my thoughts.

[intervex]

Poll: what model of disability would you associate with the colour green?

[Poll at bottom of post]

A a few months back, I proposed new meanings for the Disability Pride Flag that was designed by @capricorn-0mnikorn in consultation with a bunch of disabled folks. For those unfamiliar, it's this rockin' flag:

I proposed instead of having the coloured stripes being associated with categories of impairment (red for physical disability, yellow for neurodivergence, etc), we could instead have the different colours refer to different models of disability. I proposed:

Red: disability due to injury / the debility model of disability - e.g. injury due to armed conflicts caused by colonialism, injury due to gun violence in a country which fails to regulate gun safety, preventable illness due to sociopolitical neglect 😡🩸

Yellow: disability due to natural (beneficial) differences / affirmative models of disability - e.g. autistic people who lead lives that take advantage of their autistic traits, DSPS folks who are able to work night shifts and take pride in doing so 😄🌟

Blue: situational disabilities / critical models like the social model, e.g. a Deaf person who feels their only disability is that people don’t speak their signed language and don’t provide captions/etc 🗣️♿️

Green: disability due to illness / biomedical models of disability - e.g. people with conditions like ME/CFS and Long Covid who actually do want to be treated/cured 🤢🦠

White: disability caused by unknown or other factors / other models

I'm pretty happy with all of the colour-model associations except green, and would like input on if there's a more suitable colour to use instead.

👍️ Advantages of green for medical model: - green is associated with disease, sickness, poison, etc - it is a major model of disability, even if it is one that disability organizing tends to be organizing against

👎️ Disadvantages of green for medical model: - the original meanings had green down as meaning sensory disability, and a lot of folks with sensory disabilities like the Deaf community reject the medical model quite strongly - from what I've since seen of other disability-specific flags, green is the most common colour used for neurodiversity (e.g. this autigender flag), another group that strongly rejects the medical model - there are almost no flags that embrace the medical model, and the only two I'm familiar with - the Crohn's flag and the transmedicalist flag - both use *white* as the colour of medicine. Lab coats etc. - rolling the medical model into the white stripe ("other models") would fit both the medicine-as-white association and how invisibly disabled people are often those fighting for care

Some weeks back I posted asking for alternative ideas for a model of disability for green. These are the options sent my way:

⚖️

Option 1: human rights model. Disability is viewed as a natural part of being human, and humans should have basic civil rights. This is a legalistic framework. It's used for advancing legal protections, gaining workplace accomodations, etc. Unlike the social model it can be kind of (but not entirely) individualistic: a given individual has their rights infringed, so laws need to be created and enforced to protect them.

Green is a colour used sometimes to represent humanity (though teal/cyan I think is a bit more common.) It's a model compatible with the neurodiversity movement and Deaf pride. People who are sick and want to be treated are also compatible in that they deserve a right to medical care.

🧬

Option 2: biodiversity model. Disability is beneficial for the gene pool because genetic variety makes for more resilient populations. Unlike the affirmation model, this doesn't see every disability as actually good to have - for example, sickle cell disease sucks for those who have it, but the heterozygosity advantage it provides for the population makes it a net asset.

Green is a colour associated with nature. I'd say this is also compatible with neurodiversity & Deaf pride + sick people.

✊️

Option 3: radical model. Disability is entirely a social construct. There is nothing wrong with any of us (Withersaj, 2012). The social construction of disability was created in order to marginalize segments of society - such as how IQ testing and the idea of "intelligence" was created by eugenics to rationalize slavery. This model is strongly connected with mad pride (Ralph, 2018)

This one probably isn't compatible with sick people who want care. Many neurodivergent & Deaf people would resonate with it, but I suspect some folks who feel their neurodivergence can be at times legitimately disabling may push back on this.

🕸️

Option 4: political/relational model. Any discussion of disability is inherently political. Rather than disability being an individual problem or a macro-societal problem, this is a hybrid: "disablement as something that occurs because of ideological systems that disenfranchise disabled people, not individual needs or choices." (Price, 2021). This model pushes back on the disability/impairment dichotomy from the social model: "This model recognizes that it is not the environment that disables us, but our own bodies and minds (e.g. chronic fatigue or pain)." (Accessible Academia)

Green is a colour often used for symbolizing relationships. I think this is compatible with neurodiversity & Deaf pride, while also being open to sick people who want treatment.

🍃

Option 5: eco-crip model. This is in some ways the opposite of the political/relational: the environment is disabling. For example, many environmental toxins are known to cause disabilities. Many disabled people are particularly vulnerable to changes in the physical environment, especially climate change: smoggy air, power outages, evacuations from disasters, are all things that hurt disabled people much harder.

Unlike the radical model, this model views disability as not (only) a social phenomenon: even in a world with universal design everywhere and accommodations in place, a paraplegic still can't hike most trails.

📊

This brings us to six options for models of disability for green. Tumblr lets you only vote for one, but if you like multiple (or you're AGAINST one or more) let me know in the replies/reblogs. 💚

[dykeulous]

individualism teaches us that we all have the same opportunities. due to this idea, a lot of people who come from marginalized groups end up blaming themselves for not succeeding in life. they believe; if only they had studied more, worked harder, or sucked it all up– they would have been someone, something. but this is the harsh truth of capitalism: it truly has nothing to do with what kind of student you were, or how hard you worked. it has everything to do with your positionality. your position in society & your “privilege rank” decides your opportunities in life & how far you are going to get ahead. this isn’t to say that we must all collectively give up because we belong to an oppressed group & because “it’s just like that”. pessimism & doomerism is dangerous; like a cult. i am simply saying that positionality, under our current system, decides one’s success in life: and that we must fight against that.

individualism yells at us to divide ourselves, to fight against each other instead of fighting together against the shared enemy, to blame ourselves for the things in life that we truly have no real control over. instead of recognizing that the sexist, racist, ableist & classist systems are the reason why a lot of marginalized people don’t make it far in life– individualism, backed by capitalism, tells us that the reason we don’t make it far in life is because we are fat, lazy, ungrateful commies. individualism delays the efficiency of collectivism. collectivism rightly teaches us that humans cannot function alone. we weren’t made to be alone without one another. this is greatly the reason capitalism goes against human nature. individualism & capitalism go hand in hand. humans arem’t inherently selfish, like individualism propagates. we are taught to be selfish through capitalism. we have to yearn for better lives & that makes us want to strive in wealth. if we are deprived of food & shelter, whilst being mistreated at our workplaces– of course we will stray from our mammal-primate ways & become rotten and selfish.

individualism puts women to a risk. in religious terms, women who are suffering domestic violence are being pushed to the church– a misogynistic institution that sends the abuse victims back home to pray & get pregnant. in non-religious terms, women who are domestic violence victims cannot seek help because of fear, and if they do, they get sent off to their nuclear family members. there they are not believed. the nuclear family is also the reason why there’s no community. it is why people are so callous & cold towards others. the nuclear family tries to attach you to the wrong people, it tries to make you suffer various types of abuse & you will not reach out for help because you have been conditioned that community can only be achieved through your household. you have been conditioned to believe that heteronormative bonds are community. the nuclear family is lonely. you cannot get help or any sort of resources outside your household; it prevents you from reaching a strong support network & you delve into the dark pit of loneliness & depression. the nuclear family makes you believe that support outside of it is heresy. you find yourself overly attached to your family, while you cut off and find other people useless & unlikeable. this is why so many adults with loads of unresolved trauma & untreated mental illness will say the well-known, “well, i was treated this way and i turned out just fine!”. they clearly did not if they believe the way to success is fear, punishment & exploitation. the nuclear family unit is a patriarchal one; it implements capitalism, and capitalism aids heterosexuality & the heteropatriarchy. it consists of unpaid work for women, and the heterosexual and parent-child bonds symbolize a capitalist unit that is made of oppressive relations of work.

individualism is venomous. every thing is being privatized, every single day. they teach our children that capitalism breeds innovation, but is it really innovative if it was privatized & used for the profit of the capital’s economy? capitalism was innovative when it first developed, but it was created to be crushed down, as better exists; and we must reach for that better. schools, media, and our workplaces are all sources of capitalist propaganda, and we must realize that.

[whumpster-fire]

25 Exciting Phrases to Spice Up Your Next Business e-Mail

1: "Dear Motherfucker,"

2: "To whom it may concern, as well as the entire company directory who I am cc'ing because none of you care about my time so I don't care about yours,"

3: If you'd like to know why I am sending this e-mail, please consider reading it for fucking once."

4: "If I do not see conclusive evidence of your head being out of your ass in the next 3-5 business days, I will remove it from your shoulders."

5: "Please attach a current headshot and resume: the latter so I can laugh at your alleged qualifications, the former so I can print it out and put it on a dartboard as advised by HR's Anger Management Seminar"

6: "Due to the considerable destructive forces at my command,"

7: "Cc'ing The Pope on this one to keep him in the loop since the magnitude of this clusterfuck is nothing short of Biblical,"

8: "This is the fourth e-mail I have sent asking you to do your goddamn job. The fifth will be attached to a brick hurled through your office window. You do not want to know what the sixth will be, so get your shit together ASAP please."

9: "Please keep in mind that refraining from inappropriate use of the Reply All button is the only thing separating us from descending into complete Lord Of the Flies anarchy."

10: "All, please review the selection of Dilbert cartoons attached below and reflect on how they might be relevant to the current situation and your role in it."

11: "The Carpool Committee has unanimously voted to play exclusively Alvin And the Chipmunks songs in any vehicle you are a passenger in for a month the next time you schedule a mandatory meeting before 8 AM."

12: "The potted Ficus tree by the 4th Floor break room will be taking the lead on this project from this point on since it is more qualified than any of you."

13: "I didn't think I needed to inform everyone that 'accidentally' stapling your balls to get out of Company Spirit Meetings early is against company policy. However,"

14: "Due to recent events, any personal office supplies brought from home, e.g. paperweights, must now be checked with a Geiger counter."

15: "Please be advised that if you reply with a question that indicates you have not read and understood the list of action items below in its entirety, I will kick you in the teeth so hard you will chew with your appendix in the future."

16: "We regret to announce that Sean is now an outlaw and no longer protected by our Workplace Violence Policy. This decision was not made lightly, but the current situation re: the break room microwaves has forced our hand. Cc'ing Sean to keep him in the loop."

17: "Please keep in mind that you are neither the most profitable nor the most important of our clients, and your disproportionate share of billable hours is due primarily to your whininess, entitled attitude, and inability to give a straight answer."

18: "If you feel the need to contact me outside my scheduled hours, please write your issue on a piece of letter sized paper, then roll it up, seal it inside a glass bottle, and cast it into the ocean. This will get a faster response than emailing, calling, or texting me at 1 in the fucking morning."

19: "Team, As a result of employees being bombarded with hundreds of e-mails after inadvertently hitting reply all, we are now instituting the following change to our e-mail communication policy: to help prevent duplicate corrections, when admonishing a coworker who you feel has used Reply All inappropriately, please make sure to use Reply All as well so the other recipients can see that the responsible party has already been notified of their mistake."

20: "Cc'ing you on every e-mail about this issue due to your record of not giving a shit about a problem unless your time is being wasted."

21: "Please do not disturb the protective circle of salt around the 2nd fridge from the left in the break room, and do not under any circumstances open it without appropriate PPE and an escort from an old priest and a young priest."

22: "After consulting with Legal and HR, we have determined that the ficus tree by the 4th floor break room dispersing pollen into the office environment does not constitute a violation of our sexual harassment policy. Also, please be advised that the ficus tree is female and is not the source of your pollen allergies. No disciplinary action will be taken against it. However, your repeated complaints targeted at the ficus tree based on its status as a plant may constitute a hostile work environment. Please meet with HR ASAP to discuss this further."

23: "Team, Placing an 'Elf On the Shelf' in any location on company premises or within your home office where it may be able to see, overhear, or access proprietary information will result in disciplinary action up to and including termination of employment. Company proprietary data may not be divulged to any unauthorized third parties, and that includes Santa Claus."

24: "Cc'ing Santa Claus to keep him in the loop on this one."

25: "Sincerely, The Only Guy Who Does His Goddamn Job Around Here."

[evildilf2]

I am curious what you propose instead of a registry then. I agree with why it shouldn't exist, but I think not having a replacement of some form is extremely dangerous

I don’t understand why dissolving it would be dangerous when it doesn’t do anything helpful anyways. In my opinion, we are told the absence of this system will put people in danger in order to justify abusive policy, but as I said earlier this premise they are using to justify said policy is false.

If you’re asking about ways in which abuse can be prevented though, I think we should evaluate how hierarchies create opportunities for abuse to take place & replace these institutions- I think it would incorrect for me to say all sexual violence would be irradiated under any circumstance, but liberation from abusive structures like the workplace, our schooling system, the family unit, prisons, etc etc, would be taking the right steps towards SIGNIFICANTLY reducing harm. And when considering the subject of violence that has already taken place, I believe the approach should be one that prioritizes restoration and rehabilitation- the idea that those concepts are in conflict with accountability is one I strongly disagree with.

[animeyanderelover]

Can I request J, K, R and X for the Heiwajima brothers and Izaya please ?

Sure, sweetheart.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, bribery, blackmail, violence, manipulation

Yandere Alphabet

Orihara Izaya

Jealousy-Do they get jealous fast? How do they act?

📱Izaya acts like a cocky and arrogant jerk most of the time, treats people around him like toys whenever he feels like it. Surely someone like that wouldn't feel jealous and insecure about your closeness with others, right? You see, sweetheart, that's where you're wrong. After years of closing his heart off to anyone else, Izaya has started embracing the, albeit twisted, affection and love he holds for you. It's a rare thing for him to do but he can't prevent it from happening and harboring such emotions for you manages to make him more vulnerable. He starts becoming prone to jealousy as the sight of his darling trusting someone so easily and being so carefree around others has his blood boiling. He wants that too, thosw warm gazes and the affection you so willingly give others.

📱There's something scary about it all though. Izaya has rarely been someone to feel vulnerable and lonely and occasionally the sheer intensity of his emotions and his longing frighten him. There's a certain paranoia that someone will take advantage if they'd ever know so Izaya never exposes any weaknesses, not even to you most of the time. He won't let you gain the impression that he actually is insecure and jealous nor anyone else. A mischievous grin is instead on his face when he approaches you and your companion, his tone mocking as he starts verbally bullying them. He relishes in the way they start to feel uneasy around him as he continues with the mean assault of insults. When you aren't listening, he might even whisper to them a secret no one else is supposed to know. Izaya does of course, he needs to know about the people around you after all.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

📱Izaya isn't too excited about the idea of locking his s/o away permanently. That could stun you and limit all those adorable reactions you give in different scenarios and Izaya is someone who happily observes you in your daily life. That doesn't mean by a long shot that you're free as Izaya monitors every step you take and every acquaintance you make. He influences your life, wants to receive your trust by messing with your social contacts a bit. He keeps a firm grip on you, just not quite enough for you to suspect anything or to destroy you too much. He's a certified troublemaker though, stirs things up in the city and sometimes he even drags you a bit inside the chaos. He removes you from the field the moment it gets too dangerous though since he doesn't want you to get hurt because of him. That's only temporary isolation though. A more permanent stay is in the moment you think you can just leave him and don't believe that you need him. After invading his heart, he won't ever let you go.

📱Izaya is always scheming and planning something so kidnapping his s/o won't be any different from that. At tha point he basically has already all information about you, knows your background, your workplace and the way you function in your life. Your absence can be easily excused in some way too, the possibilities for Izaya with all of his connections are almost limitless. He most likely invites you over to his office, prepares some special tea for you and then just waits for you to arrive. You have not even a single clue up until you're about to lose consciousness and Izaya admits that he'll have to keep you for a while. You don't have to worry. He already took care of al trivial matters like your job. An abduction is never going to last forever, only long enough until whatever he stirred up has ended or until he thinks that you've learned that you will always need him in some way. When you walk out of the place he's kept you though, you've come to realize that you'll never be free from him again.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

📱Izaya is always interested in the things happening around him and the people in the city. When something catches his interest, he tends to focus very intently on whatever has grabbed his curiosity. His darling is no exclusion from all of that as Izaya finds them just interesting in the beginning, wants to find out a bit more about them and observe. Only long enough until he turns his attention somewhere else. He's not a man who trusts someone easily just as much as no one really trusts him. It takes time until his feelings change from a mere slightly obsessed curiosity into an obsessed attraction. His love to observe and try to predict your reactions never fades of course but you become something more than the average entertaining person to him.

📱The first signs for Izaya would be the concerned and worried thoughts he tends to have when there's some sort of uproar in the city. Not because you're a pawn he needs for later but because he's genuinely worried about your wellbeing. Izaya starts realizing that he can't control and sometimes even predict his own behavior when he's around you, takes notice how his heart speeds up and how he blurs everything out at times and just stares at you. That has never happened to him before and this sudden change unnerves him. What have you done with him? He knows the answer deep down already but rejects the inner confession because he's a bit afraid. He hurts others but doesn't want to get hurt himself, fears that love might hurt him. It's going to be his either possessive and jealous side that leads him to accepting his feelings or a scenario where you do something for him despite knowing that he's an asshole. No one has ever done something kind for him and he'd be quite shocked about it.

Xoanon-How much do they worship their darling?

📱The acceptance of his feelings means at the same time his tenacity to become an integral part of your life. He's never minded the lack of trust others have in him or how he doesn't have even one genuine bond with someone. Your existence turns his whole philosophy around though and suddenly he starts to feel lonely without you. Izaya wants his darling, wants their love and affection but it's all done because of his own selfish desires. He takes what has always been lacking in his life and what you made him aware of. Be aware that he'll establish himself as the dominant part in the relationship too, establish his control over you. Izaya probably does see himself as superior too or at least wants you to know that he's above you, especially with consideration of his power and skills. He's not afraid to bribe and blackmail you either, after all he knows you best.

Heiwajima Shizuo

Jealousy-Do they get jealous fast? How do they act?

🚬Shizuo is prone to a bad case of raging jealousy even though he knows he shouldn't. His temper is short as it is already and when he's angry, his body automatically responds almost all the time with violence. He tries so hard to regulate his jealousy and temper somehow but he fails about 90% of the time. No matter how hard he tries, he just can't help it. His obsession only worsens his already very fierce temper as it is. His darling is just so precious and he loves them so much, he's scared to lose them too because of his strength and known reputation for being violent and dangerous. His possessive and his protective side make him more sensitive. Funnily enough a lot of people avoid you simply because he's right next to you, surprisingly silent as long as no one irks him.

🚬At first there is this scowl on his face as he watches how that person is talking with you. Considering his height, his overall very intimidating demeanor and his reputation, that's already enough to scare someone. The way he glares down at someone only worsens their fear. The scariest experience one can have is if they dare to throw as much as one suggestive look or one flirty comment your way in which case Shizuo loses it. He starts to angrily shout at the person what they think they're doing with his s/o, grabs them most of the time by their collar and lifts them up with ease. His darling has to always stop him from his outbursts before he hurts someone or damages things around him. It has most likely already happened that he sent someone flying though. After his fit of jealousy he's probably too ashamed to let you see him though as guilt for not being able to control himself consume him.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

🚬Shizuo is of his own actions probably more aware than some others, he was alienated thanks to his strength after all. He hates violence and by extent sometimes himself for his inability to suppress his emotions. Despite his violent side, he also has a very strong sense of honor. He never considers and abduction and if he would, he would probably think of it as a very low thing to do. That aside though, I see him as someone who would tip over into a more delusional area if you would ever be endangered and he wouldn't be able to help you. A relationship with him would be even semi-normal, his terrible outbursts put aside that is. He'd kidnap his s/o based on emotions such as paranoia, fear and probably even possessiveness, in short when something triggers him. That could be you being in severe danger and you seeing him as the monster he is always afraid you'll see him as.

🚬It's known that this man acts on his emotions which can be very intense and strong, especially since he doesn't know how to hold back or control his own feelings. So there would be at best some rash thinking done in a few minutes. Planning ahead isn't something that Shizuo would do and that is especially true since the thought of kidnapping you will only really cross his mind when he's triggered and starts to feel paranoid. An abduction with him is spontanous, clumsy and you as well as him would be very much unprepared for it. Despite his best attempts to be gentle, chances are still that he knocks you out a bit too harsh which results in a throbbing bump for the next few days, something he'd be more than guilty about since you're the last person he'd want to hurt.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

🚬Shizuo is used to being more isolated and he completely understands why so many people don't want to be near him. A part of him thinks that this is best since he's worried that he will even end up someone he cherishes due to his lack of control. In reality the loneliness gets to him and he wishes that he could have someone who would love him and vice versa, looks at this all as a mere dream though since he doesn't know if it'll be possible. He has a wall around himself to protect others from himself and also to keep himself from hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. He hesitates when he does as much as realize that you seem to like him as he's worried that he'll only scare you away in the end. He and his darling need to build a mutual relationship of trust first before he can even start to become obsessed since it takes a bit to break through his walls.

🚬The delusional side that kicks in when his protective instincts go on overdrive aside, Shizuo is probably quite conscious about his own feelings. The problem is that he doesn't develop a crush on you after having forged a trusting and platonic relationship with you as even then his obsession seems to already start slightly. This increase of possessive and protective desires worsens his violent temper though, something he notes to his own fright. He is fuming when he sees someone giving you pretty eyes and feels like crushing something if he ever realizes that you like someone. He's in a much worse position than way back when both of you got to know each other now and even if he tries to pull back again, worried about the worsening of his spiritedness. Only that it's now far too back now for him to pull back.

Xoanon-How much do they worship their darling?

🚬Shizuo is often in a position where he considers himself to not be what you truly deserve. Insecure about his lack of composure and the constant fear that one day he might end up harming you, he thinks a lot that you deserve someone who just isn't him. Yet you've made it so painful for him to truly leave you. He thought he could never be viewed as a normal human and never have a strong bond with someone, deep down hoped to be loved by someone though. That person truly came in form of you. You graced him with something he thought he would never be able to have and each affectionat and thoughtful gesture from your side fuels his obsession more. The biggest shame is just that his emotions are so strong, especially when it involves you. He acts on impulse and lets his emotions influence his behavior which in some cases might end up in something unpleasant for you.

Heiwajima Kasuka

Jealousy-Do they get jealous fast? How do they act?

▪️Kasuka is pretty much the counterpart of his brother in almost every aspect which also includes his temper and his jealousy. He’s really quiet and reserved and unlike his brother definitely not prone to boiling jealousy. He’s practiced in the art of patience after all. He grew up with a very spirited brother after all and his position in the showbiz with his full schedule and his fans requires a level of calmness and mettle at times too. That’s why it isn’t too tricky for him to let his darling have their time with others. At times he might tend to feel a bit annoyed though. He’s often very busy and for that doesn’t get to spend as much time with you as others. Especially when he has been gone for a while and returns, he just silently wants you to pay more attention to him. If you’re busy interacting with someone else, he does feel bothered.

▪️Kasuka isn’t much of a talker outside of the times he acts. Considering that his face is generally most of the time devoid of emotions, he’s hard to understand. He wouldn’t want to draw wrong conclusions and make the situation awkward for him and you so he stands back for a while and just watches them and you. When he starts to stand next to you, you can consider that as his silent request that he thinks that it’s time that you pay some attention to him too. He’s still not speaking much but his eyes stare somewhat expectantly at you before turning to the other person, a frown starting to deepen on his face. You know that he’s had enough when he finally speaks up though, in a somewhat blunt manner that catches you off-guard. You’re his s/o, he just wanted to remind them and you about it since you’ve been ignoring him for a while now for them.

Kidnap-When and why would they kidnap their darling? How much would they plan ahead?

▪️Kasuka is lucid and, despite his stoic expression most of the times, a person who still cares for you a lot. He’s too famous for his own good though as well as yours. He has to be very discreet and tight-lipped about his relationship with you in the beginning too. He doubts that he can keep it away from public for eternities, eventually he’ll have to announce everything. Je at least wants to give you time to get comfortable and used to the thought. That fame itself might already be something that indirectly traps you since your privacy is endangered the moment the internet and the fans find out. You suddenly have paparazzi and jealous fans following you around which concerns Kasuka and forces him to let you move in with him to have more peace. Just imagine how bad the backlash might be if you would leave him…

▪️Similar to his older brother, Kasuka never considers abducting his darling as something he’d ever do. Even if dating someone as public as him isn’t easy and you tend to get negative comments from jealous fans, your lover is fairly normal and so is the relationship. Kasuka considers you two to be something that is forever though. It’s ride or die together after all, isn’t he right? That sounds romantic on paper but you fail to notice how serious he is about that statement. The thought of using slightly more forceful ways to keep you start crossing his mind the moment there’s a threat that might drift you two apart, something he doesn’t want. Whilst it sounds sinister, Kasuka knows that the internet, the paparazzi and his enraged fans will do most work for him if worst comes to worst.

Race-How fast would it take for them to grow toxic feelings? How do they realize?

▪️Kasuka with his reserved personality definitely needs someone he sees often. I think of a childhood friend or someone who works closely with him as great possibilities to get to know the almost apathetic man better. People often have a hard time reading and understanding him since his face rarely gives something away. Even he himself doesn’t understand himself at times. So someone who makes a genuine effort to get to know him better or has already known him long enough to understand at least a bit how he works would most likely flatter him. You’ll need patience though to get through him due to his quiet personality. He really needs to get to know you before he can start succumbing to his obsession gradually and by the time this happens, both of you are already very close.

▪️People around you will notice the change in behavior from his side since they’re used to Kasuka being someone who is often just standing alone and rarely talks unless he’s asked something. With you he suddenly makes an effort to go out of his usual routine. He’s standing often near you when he has nothing to do, listens intently when you rant about something that either annoys you or excites you and, even if only slightly, talks more to you than to most others. On his own free will too. Both of you have known each other for so long already though that initially he has troubles to differ between his more romantic interest and his platonic love. It’s only when his obsession has already grown too much that he finally realizes that his feelings for you have changed and he wants something more. It’s his first time he thinks, being in love.

Xoanon-How much do they worship their darling?

▪️You might think that someone as handsome and popular as him would be a tad bit arrogant. Kasuka doesn’t see himself as anything special though and this humbleness is what you like on him. It’s quite obvious for people who know him even a bit that he fancies his darling since he always wants their opinion on things and spends as much time with them as he can. I feel like his darling would also be the main reason for Kasuka to step out of his more devoid and emotionless state. He surely will never be someone who is very open with his feelings but you manage to open the doors to his heart at least a bit. You complete him in a way, help him to understand himself better. He puts both of you on equal footing, beware that in the worst situations he will stay true to his philosophy of you two staying together forever. You taught him so much after all, he doesn’t think he can love anyone quite the same way he loves you.

[doctordragon]

I just don’t understand how you can defend sex work. You say that the monetary transaction involved in sex works is no less exploitative then any other type of job, but I don’t think that means that that means that sex work thus no more traumatising than, say, an office job. That just isn’t true: the abuse and ptsd rates of prostitutes show just how negatively the job can effect you, I myself have spoken to two prostitutes who said that their own experience was comparable to rape or exceedingly traumatic, and there are thousands of similar accounts to be found in literature and online- if you really think that the expletive of being forced to flip burgers under a boss you don’t like is equivalently violating to being forced to perform acts of intimacy, I just don’t know what to say to you.

it is true that there are some prostitutes who enjoy their job, or who have minimally traumatising experiences, but the thousands who experience violence from their clients, or severe mental health issues as a result of their work cannot be called insignificant. Just because a few are privileged enough to not experience the worst, that does not make the practice somehow defendable. I ask you to consider the porn industry, or the stripping industry, or really any form of sex work. Not only is it well known that these industries manipulate and make it intentionally more difficult for women to leave the industry (issues with strip clubs paying women, the encouragement of drug abuse and spending money as quickly as you earn it to have to stay in industry to earn more) but the women (and men) in these industries have disproportionate levels of mental health crisis and suicide rates. If you haven’t seen “porn bloopers” already, if you can deal with descriptions of SA and abuse, please look into them.

The issue, especially with porn but also sex work in general, is that you never know the situation of the people. Is the woman on camera consenting? Does she feel pressured by the people filming? Is she a victim of trafficking? Has she continued to consent to the video being on the internet? With porn, and sex work in general, you do not know if you are dealing with extreme coercion, small financial incentives, or enthusiastic consent, because by the very nature of the job they all look the same.

what I’m trying to say is, even if you don’t want to label it rape, even if you yourself or people you know have had good experiences, the sex work industry as a whole is incredibly abusive towards those who work in it. When you support sex work, you only talk about the “good” of it, where everyone involved wants to be there, and has other good options. Unfortunately, you are describing the minority of sex workers.

nomatter if it’s not rape, nomatter if some people have good experiences, the fact that so many women remain trapped in a cycle of abuse, exploitation and poverty in the industry should be enough for you to think your defence of it. I urge you to consider it.

If only there were some way to put regulations and laws in place that prevent workplace abuse! Wouldn't that be crazy?

[justinspoliticalcorner]

John Pavlovitz at The Beautiful Mess:

This isn’t a “hush-money” trial.

Donald Trump is on trial for trying to override the voices and votes of the American people in order to steal an election. These offenses against him (among the nearly one hundred charges across four indictments) are more traitorous and sobering than anything we've witnessed in our young nation's turbulent lifetime. Sadly, that isn't the story here. There were days when far less than these charges would have elicited repulsion from patriotic Americans. There were days such things would been dealbreakers. They aren't anymore. That is the story.

In any other iteration of America's history, a single one of these grievous accusations against any politician, let alone a sitting president or presidential candidate, would have disqualified them as an option to those claiming true patriotism or basic human decency. Their revelations would have triggered the fierce and sudden implosion of campaigns and alliances and movements here. This kind of homegrown violence against our collective safety and sovereignty would once have been the occasion of nonpartisan disgust.

Crimes against America were once intolerable to Americans. They still should be. And yet again, as with every other abuse of power, every former filthy diatribe, and every past act of contempt for the systems and safeguards of this nation—Donald Trump has today engendered greater passion from his sycophantic base, deeper devotion from his beholden political partners, and increasing cultic fervor from his fear-addled disciples. Trump isn’t the only one on trial, his supporters are as well. They have served to ratify with laser precision, the complete tribal sickness that a terrifying portion of this nation has found itself afflicted with. There is no bridge too far. There is no uncrossable line. There is no unpardonable sin. He is incapable of losing their steadfast adoration.

The cognitive dissonance we’re living around simply escapes comprehension: 10 Commandments-wielding Christians embracing a profane and predatory pathological liar, proven to have sexually abused at least one woman. "Don't Tread on Me" patriots continually falling prostrate before the very one with his foot upon their collective necks. Self-identified morality police celebrating a prolific purveyor of every kind of wickedness. Figuring out how to collaborate or even coexist with such people is a near impossibility; a truth which sits like a massive boulder in the center of our chests as we navigate our workplaces, churches, neighborhoods, timelines, and living rooms.

[...] It may be that a cocktail of indoctrination and manipulation have rendered people unable to diverge from Donald Trump. It may be that political self-preservation keeps them tethered to the Republican Party no matter how low the bottom runs. It may be that pride prevents them from simply admitting that they once made a terrible mistake, and to avoid such a confession they will continue to make it. Either way, we are left with the same sobering, infuriating, terrifying truth: to a large swath of the people we share this place and time with, it doesn't matter what he does or how many people are irreparably harmed by his growing legacy of documented crimes and moral offenses—they are riding him into the abyss. The rest of us cannot be pulled in with them.

John Pavlovitz nails it in this Substack column on the People of New York v. Trump election interference/business record falsification trial.

[punemy-spotted]

Hiya, its Athena for Thursday Ask-A-Thon over at @ask-a-thon: How have your experiences in life shaped your writing?

Oh Athena.

Athena.

This question means the world to me, I cannot tell you how much. As usual, I'm going to ramble, because this is absolutely a special interest of mine in writing and fandom and boy howdy do my experiences shape my writing.

As always, answers below the cut, and general content warning for gender-based violence, workplace sexual harassment, and trauma.

My experiences are my writing. Especially as someone who writes Reader-Insert, I'm a big advocate for writers to write their catharsis and their experiences.

While it is certainly appropriate (and polite, in certain circumstances) to write "neutral" Readers who have no defined physical attributes so that the person reading the fic can slot themselves into that blank space, I also constantly encourage writers — especially writers of color; disabled writers; queer, nonbinary, and trans writers; and writers who write for male readers — to write their story too. If we can imagine ourselves as Avengers or loved by them, we can also imagine ourselves immersed in cultures we did not grow up in — it only increases our empathy and understanding of the world outside our "bubble" if we do. For my experience, as a Desi writer, I don't know how to be anything but a Desi writer. My culture is embedded into my bones, there are so many things I do as a Desi-American that non-Desi folk don't do (and vice versa) that sometimes I'm shocked when I talk to folks who have grown up outside of the little Desi Bubble I grew up in (and shocked when I talk to folks who were even more immersed in Desi culture, because the Midwestern United States is not exactly a haven for Dawoodi Bohra Muslims, and that leads to a weird relationship with one's own culture). I am open about the fact that my Readers are generally coded as Desi and always invite non-Desi folk to read the stories to get a glimpse into that life. The body is a shell, and though it may change from writer to writer, the reader is still themselves and their soul can travel dimensions.

As for concrete examples of that, boy howdy, let's take a look at my whole Masterlist, shall we? The Cut is about my experience as an FGM survivor and how FGM completely altered the way I engage with my body as a being able to feel pleasure — and therefore, what it means to be loved, to forgive, and be forgiven. In that same vein, For Blue Skies is a story about facing Ikaris — an Eternal, a being who masqueraded as an ancient god for so many years — and knowing that he could have prevented something like the tradition of FGM but did not, for whatever reason. One of my most popular fic series, The Price you Pay, features a Reader character who, like me, was taken advantage of by a powerful man when she was in a vulnerable position compared to him, upending her career — she and I made very different decisions, but the root of our pain is the same. One of the first ever fics I published on Tumblr, Everything You Stand For, was an exploration of catharsis, of how the repeated denial of justice could lead someone like me to side with someone like Helmut Zemo, because when doing things the right way fails... how far are you willing to go to quell the fire in your chest?

In a way, every fic I have ever written has carried a piece of me. My culture, my language, my pain and pleasures. When I share, I share not just the thing I am passionate about in the form of the story, but the emotional context that drove me to think it up and create the world. So... how have my experiences shaped my writing? They've defined it.

[mightyflamethrower]

Top U.S. Law Firms Warn University Deans to Stop Turning Students into Brainwashed Antisemites

Boston, MA – October 18: A pro-Palestinian protest of Harvard students and their supporters, ends on the lawn behind Klarman Hall, at Harvard Business School, after starting in the Old Yard by Massachusetts Hall. (Photo by Pat Greenhouse/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Some of the largest law firms in the United Stats have written a letter to law school deans, warning them to stop producing brainwashed antisemites if they want their graduates to get jobs at major firms.

“Everyone at our law firms is entitled to be treated with respect and be free of any conduct that targets their identity and is offensive, hostile, intimidating or inconsistent with their personal dignity and rights” 24 law firms began in their letter to law school deans.

“We prohibit any form of harassment, whether verbal, visual, or physical,” the letter continued.

Boston, MA – October 18: A pro-Palestinian protest of Harvard students and their supporters, ends on the lawn behind Klarman Hall, at Harvard Business School, after starting in the Old Yard by Massachusetts Hall. (Photo by Pat Greenhouse/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

“Over the last several weeks, we have been alarmed at reports of anti-Semitic harassment, vandalism and assaults on college campuses, including rallies calling for death of Jews and the elimination of the State of Israel,” the firms added.

“Such anti-Semitic activities would not be tolerated at any of our firms,” the letter declared. “We also would not tolerate outside groups engaging in acts of harassment and threats of violence, as has also been occurring on many of your campuses.”

The firms then advised law school leadership to work at preventing the churning out of bigoted graduates from their schools, reminding the deans that unlike what has been taking place on college campuses, there exists “zero tolerance policies for any form of discrimination or harassment” in the workplace:

As educators at institutions of higher learning, it is imperative that you provide your students with the tools and guidance to engage in the free exchange of ideas, even on emotionally charged issues, in a manner that affirms the values we all hold dear and rejects unreservedly that which is antithetical to those values. There is no room for anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, racism or any other form of violence, hatred or bigotry on your campuses, in our workplaces or our communities. As employers who recruit from each of your law schools, we look to you to ensure your students who hope to join our firms after graduation are prepared to be an active part of workplace communities that have zero tolerance policies for any form of discrimination or harassment, much less the kind that has been taking place on some law school campuses.

“We trust you will take the same unequivocal stance against such activities as we do, and we look forward to a respectful dialogue with you to understand how you are addressing with urgency this serious situation at your law schools,” the letter concluded.

According to Reuters:

A Sullivan & Cromwell spokesperson said on Thursday that senior chair Joseph Shenker spearheaded the letter to the law schools known in the legal industry as the “T-14,” as ranked by U.S. News & World Report. Other signatories include some on the nation’s biggest and most profitable law firms, including Cravath, Swaine & Moore; Latham & Watkins; Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom; and Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison.

On October 7, the Iranian-backed Palestinian terror group Hamas carried out a terrorist attack against Israel, which resulted in more than 1,400 dead civilians, and also involved rape, kidnappings, and innocent civilians being set on fire.

As Breitbart News reported, the mass murder of Jews in Israel has galvanized students across the U.S. into putting on pro-Palestinian, anti-Israel demonstrations on their college campuses, and issuing pro-terror statements, opening the eyes of many who are now shocked to see how widespread antisemitism is on college campuses.

Wake up kid. Your professors have turned you into a JEW hating Nazi.

Old Chinese saying: Take care. You become what you hate.

[dumb-cdc]

Grief, Bereavement, Public Health, & Me

I lost someone important to me in 2022.

This someone was the first love of my 30s. And someone who I can confidently say was one of the great loves of my life.

In public health, we talk about death. But we don't talk about grief or bereavement.

We aim to protect, preserve, and promote the health of individuals and their communities. We're terribly outcomes-driven in this respect—We want results.

But when these people die, we become fixated on the drivers of mortality. We ask: Why? How? When? Let's understand this type of mortality and, if possible, prevent it in the future.

We focus on the drivers of mortality because the outcomes are believed to be one and the same: they're dead. Nothing more to think about on that front.

We don't examine the health effects of this person's absence. We don't study the hole left behind in the family system or social sphere. We don't consider how this loss sends ripples across the kinship network. In any given community, the death of one person could impact the social, psychological, and material realities of many.

In this sense, it’s odd that we rarely think about death as an exposure with downstream health risks. I know firsthand that the health impact of death becomes utterly embodied during times of grief and bereavement.

cw: extensive discussion of suicide

It is puzzling that when we study mental health morbidity in LGBTQ+ populations, we only think of suicide as an outcome. An outcome with an uncomfortably high prevalence, especially for those who are multiply marginalized. But we never think of it as an exposure.

We don't think of attempted, completed, or ideated suicides as phenomena that have a dose-response relationship with the wider community's physical and psychological wellbeing. There’s some language around suicide triggering suicidality among others in the aftermath. But there remains low interest in investigating the cumulative effects of chronic exposure to suicide (attempted, completed, or ideated).

We don’t know how the intensity, frequency, or timing of it affects the health status of LGBTQ+ persons or communities. We don't ask how this particular violence factors into future wellness and quality of life.

So again: I lost someone important to me in 2022. We met at the juncture of my turning 30 while she herself was 35.

She had a long history of self-harm and suicidal ideation. As a teen, she tried to take her own life and was nearly successful. I learned this over the course of a year-long friendship that turned into a few weeks of dating.

It is a surreal thing to meet someone who is living on stolen time. They should be dead already, after all. It is so abstract, this sense of knowing that your ever meeting them is a miracle.

A miracle that they somehow got past age 17. That they lived past running away from home, across the country. That they lived past the Christian camp and conversion therapy. That they lived past the workplace violence, both verbal and physical.

A miracle that they lived past the final utterances of family rejection. That they lived past the divorce steeped in deep wounding. That they lived past the ultimate betrayal of being given up on repeatedly.

And all of this was because they're LGBTQ+.

The chance to meet that kind of someone is a miracle. And the chance to love them feels like catching Halley's Comet in your hands. It is a once-in-a-lifetime burning and scarring of the skin, an exquisite pain you'll never know again.

You already know this or you come to know this.

And after this someone has passed through your life, you will want to whisper into the ear of every person mourning 'the years of life lost', 'the foreclosed future', and 'the life cut short', that this someone was never meant to age. That perhaps, this was the oldest that they ever could have possibly been.

Was this death actually premature considering the circumstances of this someone's life? Considering how long they lived on stolen time? It is a sobering thing to admit. But it is the most compassionate thing I've come up with.

It makes my own relationship with the future more tenable. It quiets the survivor's guilt enough to become tolerable.

A few days ago, Them published an article discussing The Trevor Project's 2023 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ Young People. Particularly, a dimension of the survey that yielded the research brief titled Perceived Life Expectancy and Life Purpose in LGBTQ+ Young People.

An excerpt from the article: "The report found that 36% of LGBTQ+ youth from 13-24 believed they had a low chance of living to age 35. [...] According to the report, young people who had reported having a suicide attempt in the last year were also more likely to report a low sense of life purpose and were less likely to believe they would live past age 35."

My someone died right after turning 36. She had posted online that she hoped her 36th spin around the sun would be the "least eventful" of her life. In the end, I only got to celebrate that one birthday with her.

I saw the Them article and didn't have much of a reaction. We have been living through historic times of death, dying, and loss since 2020.

By viewing death as an exposure, we can move to better understand the health consequences of grief and bereavement for all of us.

Bereaved persons have an increased risk of mortality, hospitalization, and clinical depression 0-6 months after a loss.

Bereaved persons may suffer from an array of symptoms affecting physical health (e.g. headaches, dizziness, indigestion, and chest pain), mental health (e.g. depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, insomnia, and difficulty concentrating), and emotional health (e.g. distress, loneliness, and social withdrawal). (America's Lack of Bereavement Leave Is Causing a Grief Crisis, 2022; Stroebe, 2007).

By viewing suicide as an exposure, we can better understand grief and bereavement in the LGBTQ+ community.

In public health, Minority Stress™️ is a framework used to understand 'unexplainable' health phenomena that can only be chalked up to the stress burden of minority status. Minority Stress™️ seeks to understand how anticipated, perceived, and experienced victimization negatively impact the health of persons, driving health disparities and poor health outcomes.

The Minority Stress™️ model is heavily employed in the LGBTQ+ health literature and continues to be developed and iterated upon (Meyer, 2003). In simplified terms, Minority Stress™️ operates in the world through external minority stressors (stressors from outside the individual) and internal minority stressors (stressors from inside the individual). Key external minority stressors include stigma, discrimination, rejection from primary social supports, and violence. Key internal minority stressors include internalized homophobia, expectations of rejection, and identity concealment.

What's important is that Minority Stress™️ positions the stress burden of minority status as both an exposure and a mediating variable on pathways that produce health disparities. Suicide is both an external and an internal minority stressor that operates in this unique way within the LGBTQ+ community.

The sheer scale of pandemic-related death and grief in 2020 spurred psych professionals to add Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) to the DSM-5. It was formally added in March 2022.

For adults, a PGD diagnosis requires that the deceased has passed at least 1 year ago and that the bereaved experiences at least 3 of the following symptoms:

Identity disruption (such as feeling as though part of oneself has died).

Marked sense of disbelief about the death.

Avoidance of reminders that the person is dead.

Intense emotional pain (such as anger, bitterness, sorrow) related to the death.

Difficulty with reintegration (such as problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future).

Emotional numbness (absence or marked reduction of emotional experience).

Feeling that life is meaningless.

Intense loneliness (feeling alone or detached from others).

It is important to note that: 1) "An estimated 7%-10% of bereaved adults will experience the persistent symptoms of prolonged grief disorder" and 2) "The risk for prolonged grief is also greater when the death of the loved one happens very suddenly or under traumatic circumstances."

PGD is clinically-differentiated from normal grief as a "persistent, enduring, and disabling grief."

Society doesn't stop for normal grief or PGD. There is no federal mandate requiring employers to provide bereavement leave, paid or unpaid; schools and universities have no obligation either. A 2016 report conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that standard bereavement leave policies offer the following amounts of time off: 4 days for the death of a spouse or child; 3 days for the death of an immediate family member; 1 day for an extended family member; and 0 days for a friend or colleague.

0 days for my someone. 0 days for LGBTQ+ persons whose friends and partners (aka "chosen family") are their version of losing a spouse, child, or family member.

My someone died while I was in graduate school for my Master's in Public Health. Admin told me in no uncertain terms that I was to withdraw from my classes, take medical leave, and come back in one year. On the advice of a friend, I proposed that I would withdraw from one class and request an incomplete grade in another.

I needed to stay in school and I fought this fight alone. The School of Public Health made sure that my last 1.5 semesters would be an administrative and interpersonal nightmare. Yes, a School of Public Health.

My health deteriorated until one day I found myself standing in my living room, with my shoes on, ready to admit myself to the hospital; suicide hotlines, therapy, medications, all of it wasn't enough to stabilize me. I can now confidently say that an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for LGBTQ+ adults saved me.

During that time, I struggled to explain why I was a tinderbox for grief. When my someone died, multiple LGBTQ+ friends shared with me their losses from the last year. When my someone died, multiple LGBTQ+ friends shared with me that they've been inpatient and/or did an IOP. When my someone died, I was saddened to learn how many of us were grieving alone, quietly.

In public health, a new concept is emerging called "disenfranchised grief," sometimes known as Stigmatized Grief™️ (Bristowe, 2016; Lucas, 2022). Stigmatized Grief™️ is a grief that cannot be shared openly because the person who passed was stigmatized by society, or the manner in which they passed was stigmatized.

My someone was a trans femme who committed suicide. There's no roadmap for grieving this person outside of the LGBTQ+ community; it was safer to grieve alone. I withdrew into myself and kept my distance from everyone.

After my someone's death, her biological family and ex-wife wanted to minimize LGBTQ+ attendees at her memorial. It now explains why I learned of the memorial through word of mouth. It now explains why the attendance was so small.

I didn't know this until after; until after I had hugged her sister and gave my condolences; until after I gave her ex-wife a ride in my car. I didn't know that her friends weren't allowed into her apartment to claim her belongings; I didn't know that my 36th birthday gift to her was being held hostage by the very people who had cut her out of their lives.

The bereaved parts of me are still reconnecting like severed nerve endings. After a long period of dormancy, the bereaved parts of me are coming alive again.

I can now let myself remember that final time she sat in the passenger seat of my car, my hand in her hand, then my hand on her knee. She declared that the first order of business in the fall would be to change the name on her passport. Halloween was her favorite holiday—her religious family never celebrated it growing up—and she was determined that we go to a pumpkin patch together, as she had never been to one.

She passed in October.

I remember fondly the final time I was at her apartment. We had dinner at a picnic table in the grassy yard of her building. We ordered Chinese food and lugged a cheap bottle of prosecco outside. It was summer. It was dark out. I was preoccupied with worrying about an errant raccoon coming over.

While I sat across from her, I told her this moment felt like we were college students meeting in the dining hall before summer break. It felt like we were friends newly connecting at the end of the semester, before one goes abroad. It's a goodbye with someone you were excited to have just met. And now you have to wait for them to come back.

In my journal entry about that night, I wrote (sic):

But something I’m trying to say is one of the last things I said at that picnic table is that it felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend who’s about to leave for study abroad. It had a summer vacation feel and it was literally summer but study abroad in that she was going on an adventure and to have a meaningful experience and to find herself, but somewhere else.

A few months ago, I sat with a friend to discuss the reality of grief: how painful the process is and how, so much, you just want to be okay.

But to get to that state of being okay means that you will no longer be in the process of losing. What you love will finally be lost. The process is done. What you love is gone.

I've only recently allowed myself to say the words: "I miss her."

I miss her. I miss her terribly.

I miss her and I'm trying not to grieve alone anymore.

[dizzydennis]

Translation of Ayaka Wada’s Instagram Post (2023/04/23)

I am against any violence in the idol world.

Since I started seeing news of sexual violence by people against idols, I was thinking about what I could do in my position to oppose any kind of violence in the idol world while thinking about the issues surrounding idols.

I realize that many workplaces often have an environment that has unfair power relations that can cause mental and physical pain to people. This exists in the world of idols too.

After watching some daily coverage, (I've noticed it's not reported on TV), I realized that this is not just a matter of specific groups, but also pertains to everyone involved within the idol world. However, there have probably been very few statements of solidarity about the events being reported by the those involved with idols or other voices speaking out to prevent harassment. This is my personal story, but because I've been in the idol world since I was 10-years-old, I haven't been able to get rid of the rules and values that I've internally rationalized until now. I keep thinking about words I’ve said in the past. I understand that it takes a lot of effort to think about it as an individual, a group, a company, and an industry. I have had a very hard time looking back at what I have done before. However, I think the way the idol world is built means everything needs to be re-evaluated. I would be happy if we could talk together about what structures idols have been working under so far, how they have been hurt, and how we can improve this working environment in the future. And I express my solidarity with all the courageous people who have spoken out about sexual violence and sexual harassment. Last, but not least, I have a request to all my fans. Through events like this, I've seen a lot of comments and messages that make me think about "idol/fan" relations.

It’s not just about what happens solely within the idol industry. There’s probably no correct answer to be found, nor is it possible for someone to show you exactly what needs to be done.

I just wonder if everyone reading this could ignite a change in the perception of "idols/fan" relations or create a warm place for everyone. If you agree and share this sentiment then please leave a message of support in the comments section of this post. If you have trouble sending messages, it’s fine for you to reply with only stamps. I hope this post and comment section will be used as a place for solidarity with the courageous people who have spoken up against sexual violence and for them to feel that they are not alone. Now, I am the only person who can speak from my own voice like this. But I hope that in the future, idols, everyone involved with idols, and fans can work together to improve this work environment.