#however i read cas as an asexual being

[ardentpoop]

i wish people could tell the difference btwn:

this is in the story as an important and intentional theme

this is in the story unintentionally but says something culturally significant and might still tie into the story's key themes

this is in the story solely to please the fans

this is in the story solely to shock the fans

[somethinabouttwistedwonderland]

Hello! I saw that matchups were open and thought I'd send in a request for Twisted Wonderland.

Appearance-wise I am a 165 cm tall, average build, Bangladeshi woman (She/her but also cool with they/them). I have wavy black hair that just reaches below my shoulders and I usually dress in South Asian attire, usually salwar-kameez plus a hijab. I also wear glasses. I don't really feel comfortable going out without them 😅

My MBTI and enneagram: INTJ 5w4

Star sign: Sagittarius sun, Virgo moon and rising (I act more like a Virgo, allegedly)

Sexuality: demiromantic asexual (demisexual?)

Personality traits: Calm, collected, polite, quiet, shy (but that can easily be mistaken for being aloof or done with everyone's shit (they aren't entirely wrong about the latter) (someone told me I radiate black cat energy), not very facially expressive (I'm the most emotional emotionless person I know. I do feel things more deeply than people give me credit for), a good listener, hardworking (I often bite off more than I can chew and end up burnt out), intelligent (especially with numbers. RIP impostor syndrome + gifted kid burnout syndrome. As much as I love my major, electrical engineering is kicking my ass). I am also the oldest of three sisters, so I'm good at handling kids (I'm also expected to be the perfect daughter, so... yea). Someone also told me I'm wise, but all that wisdom came from all the books I read + watching Avatar: The Last Airbender lmao. The same person also said my presence was therapeutic (paraphrasing, of course. Also, this is alleged)

Hobbies: Making art, making jewelry, reading, writing, animating (I'm relatively new to animation. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time, but I'm still having fun), basically anything creative. I especially like to draw and paint things that radiate a sense of comfort, nostalgia, and serenity. Someone also told me that my artworks also hold a sort of innocence in the composition of the shapes, colours, and overall vibe of what I draw/paint. I also make jewelry from time to time

Likes: Classical music, lofi hip-hop, indie rpgs (Yume Nikki and Off have me in a chokehold, though not as tight as Obey Me, Court of Darkness, and Twisted Wonderland), tea, creative outlets. I also like to learn psychology

Dislikes: Cruelty, anyone who would dare to threaten my family or friends, loud noises, red meat (The texture is too much for me to handle), bright lights. I also dislike strong smelling things and being in crowded, noisy and bright environments for prolonged periods of time

What qualities do you look for in a partner? It may not look like it on the surface, but I'm a huge softie, I'd like anyone who I can feel safe talking to. They don't need to be perfect, I just need them to put effort into helping me with my emotional needs. I already do that a lot with others, so I'd like it if they turn the tables on me. I also would not tolerate it if my partner belittles me or if they're just mean or rude for no apparent reason.

My love languages include making art for them and spending quality time

How do you want to receive affection? As I stated before, I would like them to put effort into helping me with my emotional needs. I already do that a lot with others, so I'd like it if they turn the tables on me. I would also like physical touch and words of affirmation, but I can't guarantee I'll know how to react to that at first 🥲. It's gonna take some time for me to get used to it

I hope this is enough information. Thanks in advance if you choose to write this

I match you with...

KALIM AL ASIM

When you spoke about being an older sibling, it immediately reminded me of Kalim, and eventually I thought he might work!

Kalim, in all honesty, needs to work on how he handles himself around more reserved people. However, I think that the way you described your ideal partner lead me to think that Kalim was the best option.

Kalim is kind, generous, and is always looking out for the people he loves (even if he can be a tad dense at times.)

Kalim might be rather... erm... how can I say this in a polite way. stupid? Stupid in an endearing way. He'd always find time to make you happy and attend to your needs, however. He often says that teamwork is a valuable thing, and that's even truer in a relationship.

Despite often being unaware of the people around him, I think that after Jamil, Kalim is much more patient when it comes to listening to others, and is better at pulling his own weight. So, Kalim makes an effort to better make you comfortable since he knows your introverted nature can contrast with his own more extroverted one.

Kalim would always make time for you, ask your preferences for things, and generally try to make you as happy as possible. Kalim loves to have fun, and he has the most fun when he's with the people he loves, and that's you!

Receiving personally made gifts from you would make him incredibly happy, and to him they would be worth more than all of the treasures his family has.

Oftentimes, Kalim can treat you like a younger sibling moreso than a romantic partner, however, it's because he loves you and doesn't entirely get romance.

Speaking of younger siblings, he can relate to you by being an older sibling himself, and he's happy to introduce you to his many, MANY, younger brothers and sisters.

Now onto the part that made me unsure about Kalim for you. Kalim is VERY extroverted. He throws large parties and banquets quite often, and leaves Jamil to bear the weight of a lot of it. I assume that the stimuli from these events would be.. difficult to deal with for you, and Kalim would very much want you to go, however if you tell him, he'll understand how you feel (even if he's sad about it.) However, if you think of Kalim like the extrovert who adopted an introvert (you) it's much more endearing.

Kalim does anything he can to see you happy, feeling at peace when he sees you able to laugh and smile.

Thank you for requesting a matchup! Sorry if it isn't to your liking!!

Other character(s) I considered: Silver, Lilia.

[darianias]

My view/TED Talk on Tengen Uzui and a platonic relationship with wives (not canon lol)

⚠️CW:⚠️ adult topics are addressed but nothing explicit is mentioned what so ever, probable typos everywhere, this is composes of half-awake ADHD tangents that wouldn't leave my mind so I'm writing it down so my brainw will chill and I can sleep lol. Meaning this isn't planned out in the slightest. No professionalism here. 😅 Also due to the tangental nature of this, don't take this as an attack on anyone or thing. Please. 🙏 That is the opposite reasons why I am posting this.

⚠️DISCLAIMER:⚠️ This talks about Tengen and his wives not being in love; despite me shipping it otherwise. (this isn't hate it's more so to help people be more comfortable and have access to more fics comfortably lol. I will not tolerate bigotry towards: polysexuals, polyromantics OR anyone LGBTQIA+. You will be blocked and reported.

Explanatory tangent about why I'm making this and QPPs:

feel free to skip the intro if you already understand lol the entire tangental for the most part anyay.

Into & brief? Personal QPP explanation

I'm writing this in the wee hours of the morning because I was trying to get settled to sleep reading fics... when I remembered that alot of people can't read a lot of Tengen fics as they're not into poly or aren't into women one way or another. It... somewhat bothers me that people get upset, but I also understand where people come from at least, as I just have a different mindset, and I think it could help some people's destress with this???

I am among those not really into women and am picky about polyships in general but esp with y/n. However, I am also aspec, specifically demisexual and demiromantic are the labels I'm most comfortable with in these cases. Why do I mention this? Well...

Among the #Asexual & #Aroromantic community we can feel and have relationships that can be labeled as Queer Platonic. (I imagine it can happen with any sexuality but that's not the point here.)

A Queer Platonic Relationship is a kind of strong platonic love that's stronger than just friendships but without the romantic or sexual feelings of a romantic or sexual relationship. It doesn't have to be between two people of the same sex or gender, it can be oppsites.

Also I'm not expert so do you research, a this is from a personal pov here to try and give an example.

I am in a Queer Platonic relationship of around 10 years now. The love I feel is just as real as others but it's different. In a way it's like how some animals become a bonded pair or set. I would do anything for her, but I would never feel comfortable or desire to kiss her, date her, or "sleep" with her. 🤢 Cuddles are the furthest I'd go and since we don't live alone we'd never do it around my dad, as most people don't seem to understand and I'd rather people not think we are in either of those kinds of relationships, but that's me. Other people in these relationships may feel differently and have different levels of comfort and confidence lol. My QPP and we each have our own wants and desires for other people... specifically fictional men for the most part. So sharing a bed is a nono and while we can share a room as we had to before- we respect each other's need for "alone time." Also snuggles and the like are human and mammalian nature, but society likes to just group it into two small boxes: young child/baby familial or romantic in nature. Which is weird when you think of our needs as a social animal or social mammal, it's not really healthy.

Anyway if you want to learn more, I suggest starting here:

Onto Tengen & His Wives

Anyway the POINT IS, in my head in tengen x y/n situations, tengen x sonas or tengen x other character but not in a poly way, I apply these types of feelings to. Hell I kind of do in canon as well, as for me the love and care he has for his wives is real, but I feel it more in a QPP way as I don't.... have any real vibes that tell me otherwise, regardless of them being canon. It's just how I vibe. I'm not against the relationship by any means as in aus not dealing with him as a main focus (these are private aus and my QPP and I are literally both Tengen simps and also ship him with Kyojuro), Tengen and his wives are very much are all in love with each other. So I'm not really against the actual ship or relationship. I do wish it was more fleshed out tho, I am overally more comfortable with the idea that everyone in the polycule love each other romantically and sexually in this case as otherwise it's uncomfortable for me. 😅 That's just how I like my Polyships.

With that in mind, I am comfortable with the idea of plantonic cuddle puddles, caring for each other, taking care of each other as long as it doesn't become romantic or sexual with the other women or between the trio and Tengen.

So... how do we begin to tackle this? Well look at some of the facts:

They were in an arranged marriage with prior relationships not being detailed whatsoever. Tengen didn't want to have 3 wives to use as tools as his ninja clan ruled. He wanted to save them from that fate as well.

While in canon they all did fall in love with Tengen there's many ways to take this relationship. They have some base level of care for each other be it friends, familial, QPP, romantically or so on.

Example 1:

One thing I like to do is ship the wives in their own polycule, but this is back in the day in Japan 🗾 so I sometimes apply the fact that with a divorce they all would be legally separated due to this, and Tengen whose relationship to them are more platonic, wouldn't do that to those dear to him. Meanwhile adding another wife is still more socially acceptable seemingly in this world albeit much isn't specified so we really just need to guess.

That is an idea I more so apply when reading fics rather than my own story creation.

Example 2:

A similar idea is that they all are in a way "trauma bonded", they went through hell and back together as ninja, and escaped from their clan, that isnt a simple or safe task when dealing with shinobi, ao them all joining the slayer corps makes sense. While they may not love each other romantically/sexually, they all love each other and are loyal to each other. You can take this ship the wives together or only two of them or find them partners outside of the group. Wanna ship Suma and Mitsuri or Makio and Giyu??? Go for it. They can join the family.

In the end...

I can kinda go on and on with tons of different examples, my point is, if possible, open your mind to these ideas, you can enjoy so much more of the fandom this way. Yeah there's no wives of wifeless fics and the like, but most people here are fine with being the 4th wife or an additional Husband or 4th significant other to Tengen. There's nothing wrong with that. But I see people get tense with that or annoyed and I can't help but feel this want to kind of bridge things if at all possible. There's ways you can enjoy many of these these fics, headcanons, scenarios, etc. without having to feel as though you have to be in an actual polycule if that's not your taste or thing.

End Statment

I am a NOBODY on this site, half of my small pool of followers are bots and the others mostly just followed be back/are moots??? I mostly like and reblog other people's things. My creations are mostly between my QPP and I and in our heads and random discord messages as just, we don't have the spoons to write or draw that stuff more often than not. 99% of it is entirely self indulgent lol. BUT there's a tiny chance this could help someone, y'know? Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll cause more problems. 😰😬 I'm not deep enough in any fandom to see drama and ship hate and the like. 😅 I'm more or less a fandom hermit in my own little corner or bubble. I am passionate about this series. I've been hyperfixating on it almost non stop for about a year now. 😅😂 I just want others to enjoy it as much as possible. As long as you're not being a bigot to others. 😌 So please don't think I'm trying to start crap, as long as what you ship is *legal* hint hint, nudge nudge. idgaf what you're into as long as you're not harming or harassing others lol.

Also getting these tangents out of my head makes it so my brain can settle down more lol ADHD is a pain in the ass at times.

[xshatteredreflectionsx]

❤ Dating Sim Tropes ❤ REPOST AND FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE A CHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.

NAME: Morgan Papageorgiou

THEIR PROFESSION: 

-Freelance Photographer (Advertising/Wedding/Portrait). Camera Operator (Former), Digital Editor (Former) 

- Captain of The Invincible II

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND: 

-Los Angeles, CA. 

-Happy Trails Penitentiary

- Aboard The Invincible II

- ã̸̰ ̵̤̀b̵̤͐r̶̪̉o̶̦͌k̵̖̀e̵͇̚n̷͇̉ ̷̬͋m̷̜͌i̸̞͌r̵̮͂r̷̝̽o̸̟̚r̸̫͝ ̸̳̒í̴͈n̶̗̍ ̵̦̌ā̶͓ ̸͖͗f̸͖̑o̸̪͘ŕ̴͜ģ̴́o̷̟̒t̶̫̅t̴̟̆ẹ̴̏n̶̲̏ ̶̗̓m̷̧̿a̴̛̦n̵̳͒ș̶̔i̸̥͛o̶̟̚ṋ̵̎

FAVOURITE FOOD TYPE: Savory/spicy. Their absolute favorite food is lamb and yoghurt curry. They also have the biggest sweet tooth, and will eat Nutella out of the jar with absolutely no remorse. 

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Aqua Velva, or any kind of cocktail that includes blue curaçao in some capacity.

FAVOURITE TRAIT: They are unashamedly attracted to charismatic and theatrical types. That said, there is a fine line between charismatic and arrogant. Arrogant people they just want to dropkick.  Outside of that, they honestly prefer more mellow people who would be content with staying in and watching movies rather than going out and spending a fortune.

 WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE: A movie theater, a museum, their apartment or a coffee house.

 IDEAL GIFT: Honestly? Give them one of those jumbo-sized chocolate bars and you’re in their good graces for life. On the more material side of things, anything that might pertain to photography (new lenses, old cameras, carrying bags, ect ect), but are very much aware of how expensive that can be. If nothing else, give them some thread and beads they can use for macrame. 

 WHEN WILL THEY DRINK ALCOHOL: SUPER CLINGLY AND GIGGLY. They’re already physically affectionate with their friends, but when they’re drunk all inhibitions go out the window. They are akin to a ragdoll cat at that point. 

TAGGED BY: @blueheartedmayor​

Tagging: * throws foam noodles at dash/mutual list *Anyone I just hit. 

BONUS STAGE (Read more for minor nsfw)

HOW MANY DATES UNTIL THEY GO TO BED: Many, many dates. Like, if this was an actual dating sim, their bedroom scene would be one of the hardest to get. Being asexual, doing the nasty isn’t very high on their list of wants or priorities.  However, they are willing to take that particular plunge once they feel close enough to their partner. 

[deathlessathanasia]

"When thinking of influence, one must first ask when we can consider the Theogony as something like a “text” that others might quote or imitate in a detailed manner. Such evaluations are, to a degree, subjective. I shall argue from a smattering of evidence scattered across the Greek world that by 600–575 bce we begin to see other authors “reworking” passages from the Theogony and Works and Days in something like their present form. Prior to this point, creation stories differ significantly from Hesiod’s.

We have already seen that Homer calls not Earth but Ocean and Tethys the first of the gods and that he has his own account of the division of the world. The Titanomachia, attributed to Eumelus of Corinth (fl. ca. 730), or Arctinus of Miletus, also has its version of origins: “everything comes from αἰθήρ” (aither, the higher, purer air), which is also Akmon, Anvil (meteorite?), “tireless fire,” the father of Ouranos (Sky). Zeus is born in Lydia. The Hundred-Hander, Aigaion, is born of Earth and Sea (Pontos), not of Earth and Sky, and Helios is a Titan but he does not fight against the Olympians.

Bits of evidence from early Sparta suggest that it may have had its own theogonic tradition, although a fragment from Terpander, Sparta’s oldest, semi-legendary poet, suggests that he, like Hesiod, viewed music as an expression of and a means to social harmony: kings “set the laws (νόμοι) of the Spartans to music” (Clement of Alexandria, Miscellanies 1.16.78.5). … Later Spartan poets, however, seem to have deviated from Hesiod’s vision of communal harmony. The war poet Tyrtaeus, ca. 650 bce, appears to have called one of his elegiac poems Eunomia, where the term means something closer to “Discipline,” to describe the city’s political and educational system (cf. Herodotus 1.65.2), rather than Good Governance. We see in the choral poetry of Alcman, Tyrtaeus’s younger contemporary, a tendency, like Hesiod, toward abstraction and analytic description of the physical world, but the sparse details suggest little in line with a Hesiodic tradition. One verse reads: “Αἴσα (Portion or Destiny) and Πόρος (Ways and Means/Pathway or Allotment), the most ancient of all, prevailed over (all)” (fr. 1.13–14).4 Another has Eunomia, Tyche (Fortune), and Peitho (Persuasion) as daughters of Promathia (Foresight) (fr. 64). According to Diodorus Siculus, Alcman made Sky and Earth parents of the Muses (fr. 67), although in two fragments a Muse is identified as the daughter of Zeus (and Mnemosyne?) (fr. 27 and 28).

Perhaps roughly contemporary with Alcman, Epimenides of Crete is credited with composing a Theogony of 5000 hexameters (five times the length of Hesiod’s), fragments of which suggest an intermixture of Hesiodic and Orphic components. In addition to living to a great age (either 157 or 299 years) and having out-of-body experiences, this semi-legendary holy man napped for 57 years at which time he conversed with Aletheia (Truth), Truth being Epimenides’ claim to divine authority, perhaps a more reliable source than Hesiod’s Muses who can tell the truth but also lies sounding like the truth. Epimenides identifies Aêr (Air) and Night as primordial progenitors, parents of Tartarus. In Orphic fashion, two unnamed Titans, perhaps generated asexually, emerge out of Tartarus, and they co-mingle, producing the world-egg, from which Earth, Sky, and perhaps Oceanus are born (DK 3 B19). Differing from Hesiod, this Sky gives birth to Aphrodite, the Fates, and the Erinyes, all through natural means. There is one hexameter from Epimenides, however, that is intriguingly close to one in the Theogony. This is Epimenides: Κρῆτες ἀεὶ ψεῦσται, κακὰ θηρία, γαστέρες ἀργαί (“Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, slothful stomachs”) (fr. 1 D-K) compared to Th. 26: ποιμένες ἄγραυλοι, κάκ’ ἐλέγχεα, γαστέρες οἶον (“Shepherds roaming the fields, evil reproaches, mere stomachs”). Is Epimenides deliberately reworking Hesiod? In contrast to the Muses who in the Theogony never tell Hesiod that they are in fact telling him the truth, in this version presumably Epimenides has Truth speak the reproach quoted above as a prelude to her asserting that she is about to convey the full hidden truth. Parallels between the two poems are closer than what we find from Sparta, but it is clear from all the passages discussed above that the version of creation as told in the Theogony was only one of many competing creation stories."

- Hesiod's Theogony: from Near Eastern Creation Myths to Paradise Lost by Stephen Scully

[rainbowxocs]

Name: Hana Seta (花 瀬田)

Special Titles: Kōgō Hana, Princess Consort of Hell. (皇后花、地獄の王妃)

Age: 20

Pronouns: They/She (In English.)

I Pronoun: Ware (吾) (A very formal almost literary form of I.)

Sexuality: Asexual, Lily (Yuri, 百合, Lesbian.)

Gender: X-Gender (Ryosei) (Xジェンダ,共生).

Species: Human Born Demon (Sloth). (Yurei) (Witch)

Disorders: Autism, ADHD, CPTSD, Bipolar 1, Somniphobia, Arfid, Anorexia, Perfection OCD.

Physical Conditions: Chronic Pain, Ambulatory Wheelchair User, Feeding Tube User, Hard of hearing.

Active Addictions: Hoarding, Self Harm.

Religion: Satanism, Paganism.

Job: Playwright.

Lives in: Okutama, Tokyo, Japan, 2024. (Also, Hell.)

Languages: Japanese, English, Demonic, JSL.

Height: 5'3”

Race: Asian.

Ethnicity: Japanese.

Accent: Shitamachi.

Vehicle: Purple and Black Rollerskates w Bat Wings.

Animal Form: Cat.

Spirit Form: Just her, very calm, a little floaty.

Spirit Level: Acceptance.

Powers: Divination, Immortality, Regeneration, Ceremonial Magic, Shapeshifting, Can uses sigils to summon certain things, Can manipulate Technology.

Weapon: Butterfly Knife, Sacrificial Knives.

Wand: Writes her spells and such on Tanzaku.

Alignment: Chaotic Good.

Text Color: Purple.

Main Hobbies: Writing, Singing, Sewing, Prop Making, Plays almost every instrument you can think of.

Favorite Drinks: Peach Ramune, Ultra Violet Monster Energy, Hot Chocolate, Green Mountain Dew, Red Mountain Dew, Grape Slushies.

Favorite Fruit: Pomegranate, Raspberries, Apples.

Favorite Meal: Miso Soup.

Favorite Snacks: Jiffy Pop, Corn Nuts.

Favorite Dessert: Strawberry Lemonade Italian Ice, Cherry Pie.

Favorite Flower: Wisteria.

Scent: Ink, Alcohol Markers, Paint.

Awareness: Aware (Effect: Positive.)

Birthday: June 13th 2003 (Gemini, Sheep, B.)

Theme:

Playlist:

Fun Facts: Was the leader of her Occult Club at school, but switched to the drama club after yknow, literally summoning the Princess of hell.

Has a whole room full of stuffed animals that she is put in to calm down.

Special Interests: America, Musical Theatre.

Stims: Dancing, Lots of Vocal Stims, Rocking, Balancing, Has one of those fidget pens, and uses her knife to stim, Stuffed Animals and Soft Things.

Stimboard: LINK

Moodboard: LINK

Fashionboard: LINK

Family:

Iwata Seta, Oka Seta. (Parents.)

Takano Seta (Sister.)

Lucifer Morningstar, Lilith Morningstar + The Morningstar Family. (In-Laws.)

Friends: Kagayaki, Keh, Atsu.

Romance: Lucy Ferr (Wife, Bonded)

Enemies: Hwan.

Pet: Spot (スポット) (Cereberus Puppy.)

Brief Personality: Hana is very excitable, she loves to talk people’s ear off about musical theaters and whether or not trees have feelings. She tends to march to the beat of her own drum, even if that means forgetting to do things like, eat, or take care of herself. She’s genuinely trying her best despite being a little bit of a klutz.

Brief Backstory: Hana was the second born to her family. Her family were small town religious folk and Her sister had a childhood illness that left her bedridden, so her parents often wrapped Hana in bubble wrap. Hana was homeschooled and wasn’t really allowed to go outside and make friends. Her sister eventually passed away, and her parents control got tighter. Hana often felt suffocated in her own home. Constantly being watched and constantly being supervised. Most of her education was just learning religious passages and Hana was bored out of her mind. She often dreamed about the outside world.

She finally convinced her parents to let her go to high school. And they reluctantly agreed. And oh my god Hana was so happy. She read every single book in the library, She made friends with everyone in school. And then she found out about MUSICAL THEATRE. The shows the lights the drama of it all! She was mesmerized.

She watched from afar, all the drama club kids and their pretty costumes. Hana however was committed to the occult club. A club she chose mostly to piss her parents off. She didn’t take it that seriously, a little candle here, a sacrificial knife here, some chanting ya da ya-

Wait a minute Hana just summoned a demon… a real demon.. she didn’t realize she could do that. Um this is awkward..

The demon was beautiful. And she took a liking to Hana. So Hana attached herself to the demon and hung out with her all the time. Little did she know that would be her future wife.

Hana eventually ran away from home and moved in with her demon friend. Living half in hell and half in okutama. And she couldn’t ask for a better life.

[freckles-and-wings]

Transcript from Misha Collins M&G at #DLConline

“Cas has meant a great deal to many, especially LGBT fans have seen themselves in him over the years. So now that he has confessed his love for Dean, and seemingly come out, how do you feel about his confession?”

I feel mostly good about it. I talked to Berens, about this ending, a year and a half ago. It was a long time in the making. It was really important to him and really important to me. When he pitched me the storyline it gave me chills. I thought - this is awesome. This vindication and this expression of love - at the end - it makes it all worth it. I was really happy about it. You know, it’s interesting, there are some fans who are asexual who have taken solace in the fact that Cas hasn’t made this kind of declaration [before] so I feel bad that those fans might get a little bit alienated. However, I’m sure that a lot of them are also okay with this. There’s a trope in Hollywood of “kill the gays” and so Cas meeting with his demise only seconds after making this homosexual declaration of love fits into that fairly insidious trope, however, for some reason, that is, in my mind, not really as important as the declaration itself. I completely understand people being upset over that. I think that, in the end, of Supernatural, everyone is going to die. I’ve always known that, that’s not a spoiler, I’ve always known that, it’s how the show has to end. But how they die and what quality that death takes has resonance and importance in the Supernatural universe. I think… In the end, that won’t prove to be the lasting point of Castiel’s. I know the intention in the crafting of the story wasn’t to use the “kill the gays” trope. Could Cas have lived in the space of having made that declaration in relation to Dean for longer before dying? Perhaps. But there’s something so dramatically poignant about that particular moment and that particular exit… I don’t know, I’m now getting a little bit too heavy about it.

“I’m still seeing a lot of people online saying ‘oh no, that was totally platonic’. Misha, did you play it as romantic love, does that terminology even make sense for an angel?”

I was actually gonna write an op-ed about the character’s end. Then I decided not to, because I don’t really want the fictional narrative to be dictated by my analytical take on it. I want the story to live and breathe on its own for people to interpret as they want to interpret it. I could just lay down the line and say, “No, this is how it is… Your interpretation is wrong”. I know what Cas is thinking. I know what was going on in my head as I played that scene. I don’t think it was ambiguous. But there is… I guess I’m about to do what I said I wasn’t gonna do… I will say… We’ve always said, “People can interpret this however they want to interpret this. This is a work of fiction”. But I think we did things, we said things that were pretty unequivocal. There’s of course the whole issue of him being an angel, he’s an energetic being from a multidimensional… Or whatever that line was that Ben Edlund wrote about Cas. You know. What does that mean for an entity such as Cas? I suppose one could go down that intellectual rabbit hole. But I think we know what was going on there.

When do you think Cas knew he was in love with Dean? When did you know? Was it at the same time?

I mean… I’ve been playing it for a while. But I knew this was the ending for more than a year of shooting. I knew where the arc was taking us for that time. So Cas certainly knew it for at least a year. But… But you know, it also is an interesting thing to observe. He says, “The one thing I want is the one thing I can’t have” and I think repression is a very powerful tool. I think a lot of people live under such tightly-held repression. They don’t allow themselves to admit things. Often. In the real world. To an extent, that was happening with Cas. That’s my guess.

Did you have a discussion with Jensen about what the reaction would be?

I wish that I remembered more clearly the conversations that Jensen and I had about the ending. I don’t have a really vivid memory of that unfortunately. I do know that I was a little worried because I knew what the ending was long before he did and I think I was a little worried that he was gonna push back on it. If Jensen were to flip out, and said, “We’re not doing that”, we would have not been able to do it. I also think it was very honest to Dean’s character. I actually thought that was a very true [reaction].

If we had a chance to see it, how do you think Dean would have responded?

I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. We never discussed that. To be honest, I don’t think Dean reciprocated with romantic love. This is me speculating. I feel like I’m wading into waters I shouldn’t. This is my take, it’s not Cas’ take because Cas doesn’t know. I don’t know what’s going on in Dean’s head. I shouldn’t speculate. It wasn’t a contingent declaration. It wasn’t “I need you to love me back”, it was a very open-hearted, vulnerable and unconditional declaration.

What was reaction when you heard about the confession scene? 
My reaction was “Awesome”. I mean, my first reaction, when Bobo pitched me the idea, was “Oh my god”. I had chills. I was very happy. When I read the first draft… The first draft didn’t have the punch that it needed. I gave some notes. But I was still very happy that we were doing what we were doing.

[longtimewish]

Continuing my rewatch of The Great s2, here are some of my thoughts about episodes 3, 4 and 5

- I remembered episode three as being the one that I liked the least out of all episodes but on rewatch I enjoyed it way more? Like there were many important things going on plot wise

- For instance Archie gets the idea of the omen in that episode after talking with Father Basil. This is also important bc from that conversation we the audience should have seen coming that he wasn't the progressive priest that Catherine thought he was

- Actually the only reason for Catherine to like Basil it's that he's Leo's cousin. She just trusted him blindly solely because of that (and ofc it ended up firing back)

- Speaking of Leo I legit could not care less about him, I get that having Catherine mourning him was important for her development + her moving on from him it's actually what made Catherine x Peter being an actual thing possible, I get it! But still I only wanted that arc to be over already lol sorry Leo

- SO many interesting things going on with Peter in ep 3, we see him being vulnerable like never before and it's actually kinda heartbreaking. I absolutely love the talk he has with Velementov, the "fuck them" was really endearing

- Also can we talk about this scene right here? The first time I watched it kinda went over my head but now I realized that Peter actually implied something very interesting: that deep down Catherine didn't really want to save Leo because she already loved Peter. I don't think he is entirely right, but I do think that Catherine did love Peter even back then (the "you're my husband" while she tenderly holds his hand scene from s1 lives rent free in my mind). But since after this ep everyone collectively forgets about Leo we never really see I follow up to this idea lol

- I never liked how in s1 Orlo's lack of interest in sex was a running joke, so when in ep 3 we have him openly talk about how he really just can't enjoy it and for the first time it isn't treated like a joke I was SO happy! In s1 I already thought that Orlo was likely ace, so I loved that the show actually explored this. HOWEVER saddly they just never adress it again. Later on he does have sex that seems not to hate but it is also implied that it's not the act itself what he's enjoying but doing it with someone that he likes while she reads him lol. Maybe they didn't knew how to adress that he's ace without using modern language? Weird given that this it's the least historically accurate thing ever nothing was stopping them from having Orlo invent the word "asexual" in the alternative universe the show it's set

- Was the actress that plays George working on something else while they shot this season? Because the way they wrote her off the rest of the season it's kinda weird to me. She wants to be exiled because... of some reason? Like she looses faith in Peter getting back the throne so she just decides to abandone him to go to Paris on vacation? And Catherine's like "sure go have fun in Paris just don't be a slut" and let's her go as if nothing?? ALSO how is she even affording being in Paris anyway? Is Catherine paying? Did she went pennyless? Idk it felt lazy to me

- Or maybe the reason for the way the wrote her off it's that the writers just had no idea what to do with George this season given that she would've gotten in the way of our fav disfuntional marriage getting together. And Grigor and Marial becoming a thing also ended up being super important for the plot, which could not have happened with George around. Still lazy writing tho

- Also are we going to keep pretending that they didn't retcon Catherine's nationality and now she's German? Or am I the only one that remembers that she was Austrian in s1?

- Ep 4 it's just really funny, it's the first episode that's just shenanigans at court and nothing too heavy happens (ok so I guy did ended up with his head off his shoulders by the end of the ep but in this show that's just a monday)

- Catherine my dear WHY on earth you refuse to listen to EVERYONE'S ADVICE?? What is the point on having advisers if you'll ignore them?? It absolutely drove me insane, like yeah I'm all out for female empowerment but Orlo should have been the one the led the negotiations, or at least he should've worked closely with Catherine. She was lucky that the ambassador liked her (tho pointless anyway since he got killed before he could report back anything)

- Grigor and Marial was so random, did they mention in s1 the thing about them loosing their virginities together? Because I can't remember if they ever even shared a scene back then. That being said I think their storyline surprisingly works pretty well! I never liked Marial but I did found her more bearable this season and I think her being with Grigor, a character that I do like a lot, was one of the reasons for it

- We need to stop sleeping on Tatyana and Arkady, they are the actual murder couple of the show AND they are hilarious, I love them

- EPISODE FIVE MY BELOVED. From this episode onwards the season dives full into ao3 territory. This is the moment I realized that they were going to give us enemies to lovers, there was no going back

- Peter being extremely good at eating pussy becoming a key plot point it's the funniest thing ever and one of the many reasons why I love this insane show

- As I said Catherine's reluctance to actually work with the people that are helping her to stay in power drove me insane the previous ep so when she agrees to work with Archie I was like FINALLY!!

- The POWER that a good hand holding scene has... the scene in which Peter and Catherine stroll around the palace holding hands it's more intimate that the scene in which he goes down on her like !!!!

- The dance scene????? the dance scene. THE DANCE SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-No but for real I actually never watched the full trailer of s2 so I had not even the slightest idea that there was going to be a dance scene heavily charged with romantic and sexual tension aka one of my favorite period drama tropes ever when I realized what was happening I ASCENDED. THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. THE CHEMISTRY. THE INTIMACY OF IT ALL!!! Catherine's face at the end!! The confusion in her expression!!! She acted like her coming back to Peter it's just convenient and a physical thing but the truth it's that one look from him and she comes undone

[mishervellous]

so last night I had a dream about a supernatural miniseries produced by Jensen Ackles and basically it was a four episodes experience of Dean and Cas banging on every surface available in the bunker and it had no plot, basically just serving as a detailed topography of the bunker as they bang in every room. now, with me being asexual and this being the very first sexual dream I’ve ever experienced in however many years I’ve been on this spinning geoid we call hell, I assumed this might be a sign from Twink God Jack™ himself. so mr. Ackles I know you’re reading this, this is my free of charge pitch for your supernatural reboot. in this essay I will

[thegeminisage]

I'm curious: in your personal reading of Cas as ace, do you also consider him another orientation (romantic or sexual)? For me personally, I consider him gay and ace, or sometimes gay-oriented aroace.

this is a good question actually lol. most of me wants to say that cas is gay and ace because he did canonically fall in love w/ another man and it means a lot to people to call him the gay angel even though i think he’s the ace angel so like gay ace is a v good compromise i think. ace angel handshake emoji gay angel you know!

however (unpopular opinion warning) i do have a little trouble with meg. with every other woman cas is around he either doesn’t have any chemistry (hannah, daphne), it’s CLEARLY a platonic relationship (kelly), or it’s clearly some kind of comphet weirdness (the orgies in 5.04, the reaper in s9 which also counts as rape in my book). w/ meg though his affection seemed both genuine and...i know but... ??? borderline romantic ??? hard to say. it definitely doesn’t negate or cancel out the obvious and canonical feelings he had for dean, but he liked her! he was dtf! in a way that was very different from his thing with the reaper in cursed season 9.

so like: ??? ace and gay and willing to bang a lady anyway maybe? like because when you’re ace you’re not physically attracted to ANYBODY, so it’s impossible to be physically attracted to whoever you’re banging - ace people have sex for other reasons - emotional intimacy, because it feels good, w/e. so he could have been ace and gay and still willing to nonromantically bang his lady friend just as a form of affection. “biromantic” def feels like the wrong label for cas, even if you slap a “demi-” in front of it - if anything, i’d call him unoriented. 

by unoriented i mean: i myself don’t use the split attraction model bc i don’t like it. that doesn’t mean i think it’s bad in general or bad for other people, it’s just not what i like. so when i say i’m asexual that’s the whole label. my romantic orientation isn’t “aro” or “gay” or “bi” or whatever it’s that i just don’t have one. subtle but distinct difference. so i could see something like that for cas, bc what is he there for if not to project on. he fell in love w/ dean because dean is dean (and in “like” w/ meg because meg is meg) and his orientation or lack thereof had nothing to do with it, you know?

this is NOT EVEN GETTING INTO the secret essay i have on how angel sexuality is totally different than human sexuality - because the taboo is to be attracted to humans, and gender has nothing to do with it - this is ALSO because angel gender is probably totally different than human gender, and human gender is totally fucking made up anyway - male seahorses have the babies, you know? it’s not that defining sexuality and gender is bad (labels are good because they help people be comfortable with themselves and find other people with similar experiences!) but we put the label on the experience, we don’t try to make the experience fit the label.

anyway, the point of all this to say that sexuality is weird and complicated (even moreso when you’re talking about the aro and ace spectrum, even MORE SO when you remember that the way we classify it seems to be somewhat arbitrarily based on gender, which again is kind of a fake concept that we made up), and it seems a liiiittle pointless to try and like, qualify cas’s romantic orientation when the sum total of his romantic feelings (except for MAYBE the .1% of genuine connection he had w/ meg) are just wholly devoted to and laser-focused on dean. like, CANONICALLY, castiel loves dean winchester to the total exclusion of other people. what else really matters, yk

that said, dean happens to be male and cas happens to be in a male vessel, so yes, technically the factual thing to say is that he’s gay and ace because that fits canon, it makes the people who him being gay has meaning for happy, and it also keeps exclusionists on tumblr from calling you homophobic. (apparently headcanoning a gay character as being aspec is homophobic even though the two are not at all mutually exclusive and being aspec isn’t code for being straight because aces ARE queer?? bro don’t even get me started lol)

sorry anon this answer got way longer than intended! but yeah i do think cas is queer like twice over - firstly because he loves a human (angel queer), and secondly because he loves one of his own gender (human queer). you might also say he’s some kind of genderqueer too based on your interpretation of angel genders (???) vs the gender cas became when he decided to stick around in jimmy (male, ostensibly, but many other headcanons work for that too). he’s like queer squared. and i love him. my rainbow angel <3

[spn masterpost]

[cptsdstudyblr]

Cults & Religious Abuse PART 2: So you’re in a cult?

If you don’t want to see this series, you can block #cptsdstudyblrreligion

tw// cults, religion, religious abuse, religious trauma, mentions of other types of abuse

PART 1: Q & A

In this post I will be speaking somewhat specifically about my experiences that led to religious trauma, so please be cautious when reading this post. The tips and resources are at the bottom and are bullet points, so feel free to skip to there if you aren’t comfy with the post itself.

Maybe you were raised in a religion, maybe you or your family joined a religion later in your life, or maybe you’ve gotten involved in a cult in some other way. But one day you wake up and you realize that you need to get out. But how? In this I’ll be sharing the basics of my experiences in a cult-like fundamentalist religion, how I got out, and some resources I think are helpful for people in similar situations.

Before I get into the details, I want to make one thing clear: I am not a woman. I am non-binary. However, I was raised a woman and that was a huge part of the way these experiences affected me, so I will be including that perspective in this post.

I also want to make it clear that I am not against religion in general or against people practicing religion. This post is not intended to attack religion as a concept, but to shed light on specific extremely harmful religious practices.

My family’s relationship with religion is on the complicated side, but I’ll briefly explain it for context. Both of my parents were raised fairly generically Catholic. My grandparents on my dad’s side are now loosely Catholic, but don’t explicitly practice religion. My grandmother on my mom’s side has since converted to protestant Christianity at my mom’s suggestion. My dad has been either apathetic or even hostile towards religion for as long as I can remember and rarely attended church with me and my mom, but my mom has always been religious. These are the primary influences in my life, as I’m not close enough to any other family members for their religious beliefs to have had significant impact on me. 

My mom is where it gets complicated. Although she was raised Catholic, she explored protestant Christianity starting a few years before my birth and quickly converted. For most of my actual childhood my mom was a pretty average protestant Christian. We moved a lot, so we attended churches in a variety of denominations, including several more charismatic and prosperity-gospel based megachurches, but when I was around 9 years old, my mom fell down a rabbit hole of Messianic Christianity through one of these churches, which I believe is where it all started to fall apart. Just to clarify, although this group of beliefs is technically referred to as Messianic Judaism, I refer to my experience with it as Messianic Christianity as I am in no way Jewish (and thus feel uncomfortable calling my religious experiences Judaism) and the messianic movement is harmful to actual Jewish people.

This move into Messianic Christianity pushed my mom to start rereading and reinterpreting the Bible and she consequently decided that she was not enamored with the teachings of the church we attended at the time. I strongly believe that her understanding of that study was also heavily influenced by the domestic violence and instability going on in our home at the time, as she was unable to connect to the overwhelmingly positive messages that our church preached. So, she moved us to another church. This was a church we had attended some in the past while trying to find a home church after a move, but hadn’t really stuck with, so it wasn’t an entirely new church. Because of this, I generally say that I attended this church from the age of 9 although we did not attend this church consistently until I was around 11. This church was a nondenominational Bible church closely associated with Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, CA, which is pastored by John MacArthur. I’d encourage you to take a look at the basic teachings of John MacArthur and of this church in some depth as they are already quite problematic. The linked article is really just one example of the kind of teachings that are prevalent here, and I’d encourage you to follow this rabbit hole as far as it takes you because it’s fascinating. 

The church that we moved to was extremely fundamentalist. Unfortunately, I’m not comfortable linking the actual church for fear of doxxing myself, but the teachings of this church are pretty much exactly in line with those Grace Community Church and the other organizations I will mention soon. This church also unofficially followed the teachings of the Institute for Basic Life Principles (IBLP). When I say unofficially, I mean that my church was not publically associated with IBLP, but they were definitely associated with IBLP in reality. And again, I’d really encourage you to browse through their website to get a feel for their teachings. However, as a basic summary, if you’re familiar with the Duggar family from the TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, they are members of IBLP and everything they teach was taught fairly similarly at my church. I won’t go into the details of what the teachings were, but they were about as fundamentalist Christian as you could come up with. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, abuse, etc. but turned up to 11/10. And it was a very closed circle. So how did I get out and end up where I am now - a bi-romantic asexual non-binary university student studying STEM at an incredibly liberal university?

It wasn’t easy. But I did get somewhat lucky. Unlike 90% of the kids at my church, I was not homeschooled after 8th grade. Instead, I went to a private Christian school - this was definitely still harmful and contributed to my trauma but it did give me opportunities to be exposed to people and ideas outside my fundamentalist Christian bubble. It also encouraged me to attend university, as it was expected of all graduates from that school. My dad wasn’t religious, and he and my mom divorced right before I graduated from high school. Additionally, my mom did encourage me to continue my education despite the teachings at our church. I’m not sure why she encouraged this, but she did. So I got lucky that things in my life pointed me in a direction of further education. And I got further lucky that the main school in my state is the school it is. It’s a school that is incredibly left-leaning and secular, and ultimately it pushed me extremely far outside my comfort zone.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that made it easier for me to get out of this situation, but I did still have to work for it. Here are my suggestions for surviving a cult-like environment and for eventually getting out:

Do everything you can to expose yourself to other ideas and beliefs. I assume that if you recognize you’re in this type of situation and want to escape, you already know that you disagree with the beliefs that are being forced on you at some level. But it’s important to further educate yourself where possible and figure out your beliefs. Figuring out what you believe and being committed to it is key in being able to stick to leaving your environment. If you know you disagree, but you can’t articulate why you disagree or what you believe and you aren’t committed to your beliefs, you will be very easy to convince that you are wrong and you will be very easy to manipulate. 

If you’re on tumblr reading this, you probably have access to the internet, so use that to your advantage. Research things, read articles, and involve yourself in discussions. If you struggle with internet access, you can read books, magazines, and newspapers at your local library and potentially even join clubs through your library or school. Not everything you learn has to be political or about religion. Reading and learning will broaden your horizons, give you concrete interests outside religion, encourage you to learn about things that make you uncomfortable, etc. 

If you are involved in a religion that has a text, read it critically and read nonreligious analyses of it. You don’t necessarily have to agree with these analyses, but thinking critically about the text you’ve been raised to take as complete fact will help you realize what you actually believe.

Find others who agree with you. In high school, I had a couple of friends at church who were “rebels” too, and we’re still friends to this day. We moved on together, and it really helped me be able to get out because I wasn’t doing it alone.

If you have to physically leave to get away, make sure you have enough money and have a backup plan. If you leave and are forced to come back for any reason, leaving again will be infinitely harder. If you leave, make sure it can be for good. It doesn’t necessarily have to be permanent, but if you come back it has to be on your own terms and not out of necessity.

Don’t get yourself kicked out and be safe no matter what.

Some resources I think are helpful:

Find an LGBT Center (US only) - LGBT centers are incredibly helpful for issues that go beyond being LGBT+, and if you’re eligible to use them they can be a great resource

The Trevor Project - LGBT+ resources and crisis lines

Tumblr post describing what to do if you’re homeless - It’s from Tumblr, so take it with a grain of salt, but it seems like pretty solid advice.

How to leave a cult - Very basic guide, but has some good advice.

Quiz to help you figure out your political beliefs (US based, but has some other countries as well) - I’d suggest taking this a few times as you develop your beliefs, and I’d also suggest clicking “more questions” as many times as possible in every category to ensure that you cover a broad range of topics.

How Ideology Colors Morality - about how morality frames US politics

Ethics - a good place to start when looking at different ways of analyzing ethics. My high school ethics class is a huge component in why I questioned my own beliefs. Ethics is an eye-opening topic.

List of all the religions - exploring different religions and belief systems helped open my mind to new ideas and ways of thinking about the world

If you want me to help you research something or find resources for a specific situation, feel free to message me or send me an ask and I’m happy to help (you can also ask me other questions, my asks and DMs are always open!)

And as always, if I made a mistake or linked a bad resource, please feel free to let me know so that I can correct the issue ASAP. I always try to do my research thoroughly, but things can slip by since I am but a human. Thank you!

[sitruunavohveli]

So I’ve been thinking about this for a few days and I’m just going to say it now. I’ve not done any media studies in my life, I studied environmental sciences ffs, so do not expect any sources or scientific analysis. This is just me being so fucking done and annoyed with everything after years of being a fan of things and always been low key ridiculed about my fandom interests by creators and even some other fans and ranting about it.

I’m so fucking done with heteronormativity and queerbaiting. I’m so fucking done with “will they, won’t they” relationships ALWAYS ending with “will ofc, duh” if the couple is a man and a woman and with “nah, don’t be ridiculous” or “wellllll, it could be INTERPRETED that way but… oops, they died anyway so it doesn’t MATTER, does it?” with queer couples. I’m so old I’ve seen this happen many, many, MANY times.

The thing is. I read comments on facebook and twitter where some fans still insisted that Cas saying “I love you” to Dean meant like BROTHERS and “stop bringing that gay shit into everything” and those comments weren’t RARE. Like. If the same scene, THE EXACTLY SAME SCENE, happened between a male character and a female character there would be NO PEOPLE saying it’s “sibling love”. There would be no people saying it’s not romantic AND sexual.

(I mean. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but it clearly is romantic. I’d need to write its own post about asexual/graysexual/demisexual erasure and lack of representation in media, because fuck that as well. But this is not that post.)

This shit is NOT NEW either. I grew up with Harry Potter like so many did. (Fuck JKR btw. Despite the author I’m still going to use HP as an example, because that’s easy for me.) The problem is that people are so much more comfortable with straight relationships, straight being the norm, assumed straightness. When you look at a random list of HP fanfiction relationships I swear that the queer ones seem “ridiculous” and “far-fetched” to most of the heteronormative fanbase. Harry/Hermione is a completely normal thing to ship and “they should have ended up together!” is not a controversial take. Even Harry/Luna seems reasonable. But let’s point out how Ron was “the one he’ll surely miss” or Harry running after Draco for all of the sixth year (“rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy”), or that Remus and Sirius lived and gave Christmas gifts together, and I can almost hear everyone sighing “it doesn’t mean LIKE THAT, STOP MAKING EVERYTHING GAY”.

I’m not just tired of the queerbaiting and never seeing any same-sex relationships between main characters as plausible UNLESS THE WHOLE THING IS ABOUT SEXUALITY. (And yeah, there are SIDE CHARACTERS that are awesome and queer and just living their life, but making a main character queer while they’re just living their life and fighting bad guys and falling in love? Yeah no. Why would we ever want to have that! Why would we ever want to give the idea that queer people are JUST PEOPLE LIVING THEIR LIFE AND NOT JUST SIDE CHARACTERS?) I’m also just as fucking tired of ALWAYS reading every friendship between a man and a woman as a romantic one despite it being completely platonic. JUST TREAT THE RELATIONSHIPS THE SAME. STOP READING THEM DIFFERENTLY JUST BASED ON WHAT YOU ASSUME IS IN THEIR PANTS.

Back to HP. Even the “Dumbledore was gay all along” thing was shitty, because it would have been SO FUCKING EASY to just make Albus/Gellert canon IN THE BOOKS. Just ONE hint from Rita Skeeter on one page about the relationship or possible love/lust between them would have been enough. The MORE shitty thing however was when they asked about canon Albus/Gellert being possibly a thing in the Fantastic Beasts movies and TPTB were like “uhhhh, we hadn’t planned on it…”

Then there was Merlin. Five seasons of destiny and being two sides of the same coin and almost a love confession… until Arthur dies. And Merlin waits him for 1500+ years. (Btw when Rory did the same for Amy in Doctor Who, it was explicitly romantic.) Then there was Sherlock. Yeah, need I say more?

And now Dean/Cas. With just a few additional lines it would have been fine. It would have been the greatest slow burn love story ever. (I mean… it still is for those who see it. Just not explicitly for everyone. For many, many fans it’s still “take that gay fanfic shit away, THEY’RE LIKE BROTHERS”.) My lovely bisexual Dean Winchester would have been the bi icon he deserves to be. The growth of a man who for all of his life had to pretend to only be tough and hyper masculine just to SURVIVE and who hid all the femininity and weakness and insecurity and sadness and love under the tough-ass shell, who kicks fucking ass and finds men AND women* attractive. All the jokes about Dr Sexy and Dean’s cowboy thing and gay thing WOULD CANONICALLY NOT HAVE BEEN JOKES.

(*Sorry, non-binary friends. Your representation in media is even more awful and should also be written into a completely different post.)

So I’m tired. And annoyed. And so so so done.

Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck all the creators and TPTB for gaslighting us. Fuck them all for caring more about what conservative white straight cis males possibly think than what their actual fanbase thinks. Fuck them all for making us believe that true representation is possible. Fuck them all for not ever giving us the queer happy ending we deserve.

[fanfic-corner]

Under 10,000 Words Pt 2

I promised (quite a while ago) and I’m finally delivering... more fics between 2k and 10k words! Same as last time, they are organised by word count for your browsing pleasure.

Walk Through Fire For You by purple_charlie on AO3. (2,335 words).

Tags: John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, Angst, Pride, Marijuana Use, Polyamory, Gay Cas, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Gabriel, Everyone is Queer.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Boyfriend. The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. “Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy”. It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths. But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Notes: This was so sweet it nearly made me start crying - Cas deserved to be told that he was loved!

Boneless Wings by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,333 words).

Tags: Crack, Wingfic, Domestic Fluff, Canon Compliant, Angel Castiel, Suburbia.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome. This is not that list.

Notes: The art is gorgeous and this is such a brilliant parody of so many wing fics out there, I loved it!

Stories Are Made Of Mistakes by wildhoneypie on AO3. (4,942 words).

Tags: Human Castiel, Diners, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Dean, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Case Fic, Domestic, Didn’t Know They Were Dating. My Rating: 4 stars. Description: In which Cas is human and doesn’t understand basic concepts like: clothing, Mythbusters, moisturizer, and Greek food. Dean is…Dean and doesn’t understand basic concepts like: boyfriends, language, how to tell your friend that he’s a walking miracle, and when not to quip. Notes: This was so cute and I live for human Cas. I also love the recurring ‘no fucking quipping’ joke in this, although the idea of Cas swearing broke me a bit!

The Cry of Elisha After Elijah by intothesilentland on AO3. (5,844 words).

Tags: Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Reunion, Canon Compliant, Heaven.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: The kicker is, Dean had been trying to live. Really live. And not bite out in anger at the fraying of his heart: Cas, gone, Jack, gone—all that was left was him and his brother, and Dean had been trying to live, in spite, in light of that. In a world like the unsteady first steps of a child, apprehensive arms and hands cradling the air around them, ready for a slip, excited for a step, Dean had been trying to walk forward, too. Though every step had meant every pain. Upon his death, and arrival in heaven, Dean sets out to find the angel. He has to tell him. Cas has to know.

Notes: That poem at the start was really moving in this context, and the dialogue was so weirdly in character that everything was so real. It was definitely written better than the actual ending.

My Own Little World by tale_to_tell on AO3. (6,858 words).

Tags: Hurt Dean, Protective Castiel, Meet-Cute, Fluff, Pining, Coffee Shops, Implied Domestic Violence, Abusive Alistair, Abusive Relationships, First Kiss, Human Castiel, Protective Sam Winchester, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, POV Castiel, Love Confessions, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel stumbles into a local café in order to avoid the rain, and during the process he meets a very attractive barista by the name of Dean Winchester. It doesn’t take long for Castiel to fall in love with Dean’s wit and charm.Too bad that Dean has a boyfriend.

Notes: This was fairly sweet, and I was not expecting the Sabriel content (always read the tags, folks). Also, return of Alistair being an asshole! I would have forgot he existed if he didn’t keep popping up in these fics.

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean’s old methods of coping aren’t working anymore: he’s not sexually attracted to anyone, and he’s not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

Lost and Found by whelvenwings on AO3. (7,762 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Demisexual Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “Chuck Shurley? Sure, I’ve read his books. Kinda Vonnegut, but like, Kilgore-Trout Vonnegut, you know?” Dean took another gulp of his whisky, and smacked his lips like an adult. The guy sitting beside him at the bar, however, did not look suitably impressed. In fact, he was staring down into the bubbles of his cider, not even noticing the way that Dean was smiling at him, giving him the eyes. “I thought his stuff was pretty good, in a kinda metamodern way,” Dean added airily, and a little more loudly. The guy only nodded gloomily. Dean almost clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in frustration. C’mon, dude, I’m trying to impress you. Twenty minutes of talking and all Dean had to show for it was a weird first name, a series of dour stares and the strangest need to know more about this – Castiel.

Notes: This was written so well that I wanted to cry at Cas’ story of the stars, even though it wasn’t particularly sad. Now I want to go and stargaze with someone.

Say Yes by MaggieMaybe160 on AO3. (7,996 words).

Tags: Episode s5e4 The End, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Wedding Rings, Chronic Pain.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up.A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.

Notes: Quite cute, almost entirely canon compliant, and the ending gave me chills.

Carry On by Castielslostwings on AO3. (8,039 words).

Tags: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Heaven, Castiel Deserves Better, Love Confessions, First Kiss, First Time, Reunions, Explicit Sexual Content.

My Ratings: 5 stars.

Description: “I think I’ll go for a drive.” This is what happened between that moment, and Dean meeting Sam on that bridge.

Notes: This was written beautifully and was genuinely the ending that Dean and Cas deserved.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon on AO3. (8,570 words).

Tags: Future Fic, Getting Together, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, Human Castiel, Bottom Dean, Angst and Humour, First Time.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: No one ever tells Dean anything.(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

Notes: There’s more smut in this than I expected, but Dean is so oblivious that it is really funny.

Bing Crosby’s Pennies From Heaven by twentysomething on AO3. (9,613 words).

Tags: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Gabriel, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Death.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Sam always asks inappropriate, poorly-timed questions, so what comes out of his mouth doesn’t exactly surprise himself. “Where were you?”

Notes: This was brilliant - the little gifts that Gabe left for Sam were adorable, and I burst out laughing at the image of trying to get Bobby’s wheelchair on top of a toilet.

So there we are! I hope you enjoy these slightly shorter fics, and hopefully there will be another load of fic recs for next week!

[wantstoflyafraidtofall]

Summary: The Christmas season was always hard for the Novak family but this year Castiel has someone to help him through it. Dean is determined to help his boyfriend, Cas, get through a holiday gathering with his family.

Read on Ao3

(Fic bellow the cut)

Families can be hard. And if Dean ‘my dad’s homophobia made me too afraid to come out of the closet even after he passed’ Winchester had one goal tonight, it is to make this as easy as the universe would allow him. Having your parents know that your a biromantic asexual and actually coming home with a boyfriend are two entirely different ballparks.

Cas had insisted that Dean should come to meet his family this Christmas. The previous years they had always gone down to Dean’s basically surrogate father’s place. Bobby was a bit rough around the edges but was all gushy at the core and welcomed Cas to the family with a smile and slap on the back(He could have sworn he heard a ‘finally!’ as well).

Ellen and Jo both gave Cas some… stern talking-to’s about what getting with Dean entails that left him a little shaken, but over the past four years of being Dean’s ‘boyfriend’ instead of ‘best friend’ has shown him worthy of Dean’s heart. Jody and Donna had been more than welcoming as well, even inviting him and Dean over for a nice dinner one night.

Sam was probably the most excited. He flew all the way from California to congratulate them in person and even got a little teared up by Dean accepting himself for who he was. He had stayed the remainder of the week and spent the whole time smiling at them and helicoptering around them to make sure it was real.

Dean has to admit, he is kinda glad they aren't spending the entire Christmas weekend at the Novak’s. He loves Cas and would do anything for him but his family gives him the creeps. It’s a good thing Cas doesn’t want to stay either. He found that the Winchester Christmases with movie nights, warm fires, and eggnog, much more enjoyable than “an uncomfortable, over formal Christmas dinner where the chairs are replaced with the sticks up their asses”, as Cas once put it.

He didn’t begin to feel the pinpricks of nervousness until they steered the impala into the gated neighborhood where Cas’s family lived. The tall borderline-mansion houses could be seen across the large well-trimmed yards, illuminated by professionally hung Christmas décor and outdoor spotlights.

“What did you say the address was again?” Dean asked, leaning toward where Cas sat next to him, fidgeting nervously.

“1574 Rosealee Court-” Cas sat forward pointing out the window at the house, “-That’s it, right there.”

Dean turned into the driveway, internally judging how they had lined the entire perimeter of the pavement with tiny white lights. He slowly rolled to a stop a little past halfway around the U of the driveway, pulling the keys out of the ignition. The silence replaced the loud rumble of the engine and quietly playing songs from the Christmas cassette Dean had gotten for Cas a few years back after discovering his love for the seasons music.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Dean spoke softly and slid across the bench seat to wrap an arm around Cas’s shoulder, his other hand finding Cas’s and gentle squeezing it.

“Yeah, just a little nervous.” Cas was squinting up at the house and it’s artificial Christmas feel.

“Hey, look at me,” Dean waited for Cas to turn to him, his too-blue eyes shining in the bright lights, and pressed a gentle kiss on his warm lips. “It’s going to be all right. I’m going to be here the whole time. Won’t even go for bathroom breaks.”

Cas smiled and Dean didn’t fight the grin that bubbled out of the warm feeling in his gut. He leaned forward and placed one more chaste peck on Cas’s lips before ushering him out of the car. Taking Cas’s hand in his, they made their way up to the door, ringing the doorbell and waiting for the blurry figure to appear in the  beveled glass To let them in.

“CASSIE!” Gabriel shrilled as he opened the door, pulling his younger brother into a tight hug. Dean must have been staring because next Gabriel turns to him with a wide smirk. “Aww, Dean-o, is my baby brothers boy-toy feeling left out? Come’ere-” He pulled Dean into a bone-crushing embrace that left him a little light headed when the shorter man set him down back onto his feet.

“Gabriel, I didn’t expect you to be here.” Cas said, surprised.

“Well, I wasn’t going to come but when I heard Cassie was coming and bringing ‘his significant other’ I just had to make sure it was Dean here they were talking about. I am hurt that not once you mentioned to me that you two finally pulled your heads out of your asses and got together. I mean, I am your brother and-”

“Is that Castiel?” A voice said from behind.

Gabriel stepped back to reveal its owner, and it was no one other than Naomi Novak, Cas’s mother. She walked up to the door, shooing Gabriel to the side and gesturing for them both to come inside. She smiled when Dean looked at her but it didn’t reach her eyes and looked unnatural on her tight face.

She closed the door behind them and waited for them to strip off their coats, scanning their jeans and Henleys with an air of distaste. Naomi kept that smile plastered on her face, however, as she led them deeper into the house to what must be the family room.

There was a gas-lit fire burning in the large fireplace under the mantle where the TV hung, traditional Christmas music playing off one of those music channels. Cas led him over to the couch, adjusting the throw pillows to make the stiff furniture a little more comfortable. Gabriel strode in just as they got settled and splayed himself out on a white leather chair across from them.

“I’ll just be a moment. Your brothers are in the kitchen, I’ll go bring them out to say hello to you and…” Naomi looked over at Dean questioningly.

“Dean. Dean Winchester.” Dean said, finding it a little odd that Naomi couldn’t remember his name. He’s come over for barbeques and such as a friend before, perhaps she was doing it to piss off Cas.

“Yes, Dean.” She finished, the ugly smile twisting her lips again. “Oh! And I almost forgot to mention, your father decided to join us tonight as well, he is upstairs and will be down soon.”

He felt Cas squeeze his hand tighter and his face paled slightly at the mention of Chuck. Gabriel sent a worried glance their way as Naomi strutted off to the kitchen, satisfied with her work.

“It’s going to be ok, I’ll be right here.” Dean whispered and Cas nodded in reply.

Cas hated his father. Chuck left when he was 5, disappearing until he was almost 15. Naomi welcomed him back as if he was never gone, ignoring the fact that he was a broke alcoholic. Cas had a horrid few years till he got out of the house and to college where he met Dean.

Dean was studying to be an English teacher, Cas a writer. They had met one eventful evening when Dean rounded a corner too fast, running straight(haha yeah right) into Castiel in a fatal collision that ruined 2 cups of coffee and a shit ton of papers.

“So,” Gabriel said, attempting to clear the tension, “how long?”

“What?” Dean said, looking over to where the man was sprawled out in the chair.

“How long have you two been a pair?”

“Uhh,” Dean glanced over at Cas who shrugged. “You sure you wanna know?”

“It’s not like it's been going on for that long. Spill!”

Dean cleared his throat, “about four years now.”

“Ha nice try. For real now, how long?”

“He’s right, it’ll be five years next fall.” Cas stated.

Gabe’s jaw dropped as he looked between the two of them. He seemed to catch up because the next moment he was standing up and shrieking, “ WHAT! Four years! Cassie why didn’t you tell me!”

Cas cowered back into the still cushions, but thankfully, whatever was about to happen was interrupted by someone clearing their throat from the doorway. Michael stepped into the room, tailed by Lucifer and Naomi. They all walked over and settled down one the couch and the remaining chair, leaving a space for Chuck.

They ease into a shallow conversation about the rise in profits at Michael’s company. Dean tunes out, letting the sound of Michael’s money talk become background noise to his thoughts. Cas was still gripping his hand tightly, his posture ridgid as if waiting for something to pounce.

Dean rubbed his thumb gently over Cas’s knuckles in a soothing gesture, hoping to silently comfort and remind him of his support and presence. After a while, Cas did seem to relax a bit. His grip was a bit looser and he was leaning back against the couch now. Everything seemed to be going great until Chuck Novak made his way into the room and sat down on the couch where he could look directly at Cas and Dean.

Cas immediately was on alert once more and even Dean felt the hairs on his neck rise. Chuck skimmed over them with a blank expression, pausing briefly at their conjoined hands.

The thing is, Chuck 'doesn't mind the LGBTs’ as long as it’s not his son. When it comes to this, the cowardish, skittish little man Chuck appears to be takes the back seat while a stone cold, angry version takes up front. Dean has only seen that happen once before when Gabe had mentioned relationships he has had with members of the same sex before he had met Kahli, and he is not happy to be seeing it again.

Dean tries to turn his attention to the conversation. Lucifer and Michael are explaining in extraneous detail what the company's main goal is to Naomi who seems to be understanding most of it. He thinks for a second that tonight may just go ok when the conversation ends, allowing the main focus to switch to the couple.

“So,” Naomi asks, “how long have you been together.”

“Four years.” Castiel states, looking his father in the eyes as he does so.

They all look a little taken aback that the two had been together for that long without anyone knowing about it in the slightest.

“And how’s that going for you?” She says through her fake smile.

“Quite well, actually,” Dean says, “We have an apartment together in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Im a High School English teacher there. We are really happy there.”

“Are you sure?” Chuck cut in.

“What?”

“Are you ok with… you know?” Chuck said, waving his hands around like Dean was supposed to know what he was talking about.

“If he ok with what, Chuck?” Cas said, a hint of anger in his voice. “Me being asexual?”

“Honey, there is no need to get angry, we are just making sure Dean thinks it’s a fair relationship for him.” Naomi chides.

A burst of rage sparks in Dean’s chest and he can see the turmoil in Cas’s eyes as he glares at his father. How can someone speak like that about their child? About someone as amazing as Cas?

“Dean, you can’t possibly be happy in a relationship like that! People like you love sex, right?”

This isn’t the first time the comment has been thrown his way but after what they had just said to Cas, it snaps something in Dean. A tight ball of anger bubbles in his chest as he fights to keep from blowing up. He takes a deep breath and meets Chuck’s eyes.

“People like me, meaning Bisexuals?” Dean says, keeping his voice as cool as possible.

Naomi flinches at the word a bit but agrees.

“I am perfectly happy in my relationship with Cas. Contrary to your belief, bisexuals are not sex driven animals and asexuals aren't broken people who will never find love and you have to be seriously messed up to think that sex is necessary for a relationship.” Dean snaps before standing up from the couch, pulling Cas up with him. “Thanks for having us, we’ll be leaving now.”

He borderline stomps to the front door and helps Cas with his coat before donning his own and they head out to the impala. He starts the car, blasting the heat and driving off in silence. They are just pulling out of the suburb area when he hears a sniffle from Cas. Dean instantly pulls the car over and flicks on his hazards before slinging across the bench seat.

Dean opens his arms and Cas slides over and buries his face in Dean’s chest, his fingers twisting up in the back of Dean’s coat as a sob slips out. Followed by another, and another until Cas is clinging to Dean, crying into his coat as Dean gently runs his hands up and down Cas’s back, whispering soft affirmations between kisses into Cas’s hair.

When Cas’s breathing evens out, he leans back from Dean, wiping at his red eyes and nose with his sleeve.

“M’sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, sunshine. Hey, how about we go to that festival we saw driving in, hmm?”

Cas nodded and buckled back into his seat while Dean buckled his own and pulled back on the road. He turned up the volume as I’m Dreaming Of A White Christmas began to play. Dean smiled as he thought back to the first snow of the season. It was early November when the weather took a dip.

Cas’s cheeks were rosy and he kept wiping his nose, the cold air making their breath come out in small puffs while they trudged their way up the hill, dragging the plastic sled behind them.

When they reached the top, Dean pushed the sled down into the snow and plopped into the back of the bright orange contraption, planting his feet to make sure it wouldn't slide before they were ready. Cas straddled in front of Dean before sitting down and falling back against Dean’s chest, putting his feet in the front of the sled and trying to make enough room for Dean’s with the thick snow pants on.

Dean wrapped his arms around the front of Cas to grab the thin rope used to steer the thing, Cas grabbed a hold too, smiling in anticipation. Dean scootched forward and the sled barely moved an inch. Cas laughed and began scooching in sync with Dean and before they knew it, Dean had his feet up in the front of the sled with Cas and they rocketed down the hill, whooping and laughing all the way down.

The thought helped ease some of the emotions swirling in his stomach as they drove into town. Knowing how much Cas loves it, despite his insistence on the opposite, Dean begins singing along to the song.

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

Just like the ones I used to know.”

Dean looked over at Cas and gave him a smile before continuing.

“ Where the tree-tops glisten,

And children listen,

To hear, sleigh bells in the snow.”

He hears Cas clear his throat and join in on the next line.

“I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

“With every Christmas card I write

“May your days be merry and bright

“And may all your Christmases be white”

Cas laid his hand palm up in the middle of the seat and Dean took it, lifting it up to his face and dropping a kiss to his knuckles before singing the next lines.

“I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

“With every Christmas card I write

“May your days be merry and bright

“And may all your Christmases be white

“May your days be merry and bright

“And may all your Christmases be white”

The song ended just as they pulled into the lot. There weren't many people here, but that’s perfect for them tonight. The soft colored lights and sweet smells of the carnival made the night seem warmer than the frigid temperature it actually was.

Dean reached over the seat and came back with some hats and gloves for him, mittens for Cas. He put his on, waiting for Cas to do the same before they got out of the car and held hands as they made their way to the small ticket booth by the entrance. Dean handed over some cash and took his tickets with a ‘thanks’ before making his way towards the rides.

“Ooo let’s go get some hot chocolate.” Dean said, pulling Cas over to the warm, coca scented tent and ordering two cups.

The heat from the paper cup could be felt through Dean’s glove as he walked, taking careful sips to not burn his tongue on the too-hot chocolate.

“Dean, can we go on the ferris wheel?” Cas asked, gesturing towards the white metal ride with red and orange lights making spirals along the beams.

“Sure, why not.”

They went up to the lady sitting by the control panel and handed her the required amount of tickets for the ride and stepped into the carriage. Dean watched Cas from his side of the car, watching how Cas looked out the window, wiping the glass when his breath fogs it up too much to see out of. He feels a small smile tug at the corner of his lips when Cas turns and meets his eyes.

“Dean,” Cas starts.

“Yeah?”

“Does it bother you? My asexuality?” Cas said, looking down at the floor.

“Of course not Cas! I love you. I don’t need sex to love you. And it’s not like we’ve never had sex, just not frequently, and I am ok with that. I love you and love to spend time with you and that’s what matters to me.” Dean says softly, leaning forwards across the narrow aisle to take Cas’s hands in his.

What did Dean do to get someone like Cas? Someone so caring and compassionate, so smart and creative, so… Cas.

“Castiel James Novak, my sex indiferent asexual boyfriend and best friend, I love you so much. More than pie, more than Baby, hell, more than anything. Any day I spend with you is a good day. You are the kindest, smartest, most caring person I know and I’ll be damned to let some asshole make you think that you could ever not be loved.”

There were tears flowing down Cas’s cheeks and Dean wiped them away with his thumbs before pulling Cas in for a caste kiss, and another, and again. He peppered Cas’s forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips with soft kisses before pressing his lips firmly but softly to Cas’s warm, slightly chapped ones.

Cas let his tongue flick out on Dean’s bottom lip and taking full advantage of the opening Dean’s gasp gives to dive deeper into his mouth with his tongue. Dean gives as much as he gets, trying to push as much of his love into one single kiss as humanly possible.

When they break away, both panting slightly, their car is stopped at the top of the Ferris wheel. They look out the small windows at the town and its rows of light adorned houses.

“It’s beautiful.” Cas sighs.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Dean replies.

“Aww getting all sappy, Dean?” Cas chuckles.

“No- I- No-” Cas cuts Dean off by pressing another kiss to his lips.

They break apart in fits of laughter, their car shaking as they laugh and laugh and laugh. They only stop once the wheel begins moving again but when they get off, they both have bright smiles on their faces.

The smiles stay the rest of the night and all the way home as they sing Christmas songs on the ride home all the way to the moment they strip out of their winter clothes and get ready for bed, curling under the soft covers in each other's arms.

“I love you.” Dean whispers as he tetters on the verge of sleep and just as he tumbles over, he hears Cas say back, “I love you, too.”

~~~~~~(Feel free to ask to be added to the tag list)~~~~~~

@kinda-not-really-vibing

[waywardbeanie]

Hey, I've got a favour to ask. Could you post this. I'd really like to know, so if you've got a theory I'd like to hear it and if not maybe you followers can help. Thanks in advance, so here goes:

I honestly really think everyone is allowed and supposed to decide on their own whether they believe that Destiel is a platonic/brotherly relationship or a romantic one (onesided or reciprocated). But can anyone explain to me how in a platonic sense only to tell Dean he loves him can be Castiels true happiness (as the Empty put it). I mean sure if I'm IN love with you I get it but to tell a friend you love them - I just don't see how to tell someone you platonically love them could be the best you ever hoped for and make you fully happy.

PS: I'm really not trying to say it's wrong to think otherwise. I'd just like to understand. So tell me your thoughts please.💙💚

I will say I have stayed away from this entire conversation for a reason. However, if you are brave enough to ask me then I will be brave enough to answer. This is only my opinion and I am only sharing because you specifically asked me. I do believe everyone has the right to ship whatever they want. It’s their ship, not mine, and has no effect on me and I encourage people to love what they love.

My theory is that that this is a familial love between Cas and Dean and here is my reasoning. They have said from the beginning that the biggest difference between angels and humans is the ability to feel emotion. It is my belief that when angels are in heaven that (in general) they are nonbinary and asexual until they come to earth and inhabit a humans body. If you remember Cas really struggled with the human emotion until he began to open himself up to it. He has been accused many times by other angles or being on earth for too long and having emotions.

When Cas was in heaven he knew loyalty, commanding others, and following orders himself, there was no emotion or sexualized feelings involved. The three times I can remember Cas’ sexuality coming into play was when he had sex with the angel who tried to kill him (I believe he was graceless at the time), when he kissed Meg and when Dean time jumped into the future and he was leading hippy orgies (he was also human at that time as well). Each time he was more human than angel, but I digress.

He loves Dean, Sam, and Jack but Dean is his best friend. We have seen that over and over throughout the seasons. They have been through so much together and separately. All of them at times sacrificing themselves for the good of the remaining. All of this to say, although Cas is in the male vessel of Jimmy Novak I believe inside he is still an asexual being. I know he loves Dean as his best friend and the only love he has ever known (see above regarding human emotion) I believe the love for him has no bounds and as he has shown even in the end that he is willing to sacrifice himself for Dean.  Because he loves him, as a brother and this show has shown us over and over that brothers will sacrifice themselves for brothers.

I’m not sure this is the answer you were looking for and honestly, it was a longer answer than I was going to give. You asked for my opinion so there it is but the bottom line it’s my opinion and people can ship whoever they want. Lots of love to those who chose to read this long drawn out answer of an opinion that really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. xx Shel

[destieldrabblesdaily]

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend! 

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag. 

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel… 

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up… 

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’. 

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’. 

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend… 

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

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Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

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Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend. 

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.” 

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

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Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days! 

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

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If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well: 

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

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Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here: 

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

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Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)