#hptextposts

[thehousesvibing]

Imagine how terrifying it would be to have an elephant patronus.

Like imagine some poor death eater at the battle of Hogwarts minding their own business

The dementors appear

And there's this absolute EXPLOSION of light as a LIFE SIZE ELEPHANT comes charging towards them

[maraudersocks]

regulus "i am real and you are not" black

[acciostorian]

i’ve literally gone on tumblr to read random shit i normally get on my dash, but no my feed has been attacked with giuseppe stromboli memes and i’m not even mad

[oldbutmarauders]

a fun jily ramble (it’s longer than i meant it to be)

james starts out pretending to like lily because it annoys her, and “i need to focus on the class, stop bothering me potter”, but then, his friend group starts to get more attached to lily. first lupin, who said a different answer to the same question AT THE SAME TIME as lily in class (and there was this moment of mutual realisation that they were going to be besties) followed by a two-hour long debate in the gryffindor common room on whether the draught of peace emits a light silver vapour or a turquoise blue one (“no, remus, it is turquoise blue WHEN FINISHED, the vapour is silver”). then sirius, out of all people, starts talking to her because he wanted to impress his new boyfriend and become friends with all of his, but they actually ended up talking, not for hours on end like remus and lily, but in these almost-coded terms- they understood each other on a level that only remus and james would eventually beat. then peter, who lily took under her wing and protected, who was the source of many arguments with severus, who she was drifting away from (“he’s nothing but an idiotic twat!” “severus, you can’t say that, he’s my friend.”)

james, as everyone would later remind him, was the last of the marauders to fall in love with lily, probably the last in the school. the last to notice her refreshing confidence, the way she knew all the answers in class without seeming obnoxious, the way everyone around her seems to soften a little, even at the mention of her name. and so by the time he told her he was an animagus (which happened in the middle of a duel with some death eaters after he had turned back into a wizard “oh um, i forgot to tell you, i’m actually a... an animagus.”) she already knew, and replied with, “yeah, i knew that already, remus told me around fifth year- you do realise all four of you lie terribly, right?”

and when it was their first date, the rest of the marauders were giving james these extravagant, crazy schemes, because HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF TWO OF THEIR BEST FRIENDS GOT MARRIED. fireworks with her name, a hot air balloon date, a trip to paris (“paris?” james asked. “yeah, you know, the city of love,” sirius replied. “i don’t love her!”). but he finally decided on a bookstore-turned cafe in hogsmeade, something which he knew lily would love- and she did. every valentine’s day until they were 21, they went back to that cafe. (and that one time when he proposed to her, but that’s another story)

@siriusly-fuck-off i combined two days into one post! I LOVE JILYTOBER AH

(mine)

[otterlyben]

remus: be careful james there's a spider over there-

james: it's fine i'm not scared of a silly little spider

james: *walks over*

james: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[hogwarts-marauderss]

Lily: *breaks up with someone* Well I guess I'm single now!

James: I can fix that!

[weaselb33]

Hermione: harry i think you’re a little obsessed with draco

Ron: she’s right, mate. Haven’t been yourself recently

Harry: no i’m not guys. gosh.

Hermione:

Ron:

Harry:

Harry: oh my god draco is in the bathroom

[fandomsthingsivesaid]

Gryffindor: hey sly isn’t it hot in the sun?

Slytherin: I’m a fucking cold blooded creature I’m like a snake I need the sun

Gryffindor:

Slytherin:

Gryfindor: right I’ll just leave you to it

[prngslvr]

Slytherin

Draco:... and make us a pie for when we get back

*later, they return*

Blaise: i did not make a pie... for three reasons... one i do not have the ingredients to make a pie

Blaise: two i do not have the skills to make a pie....

Draco: .... and three..?

Blaise:.. i am not your bitch

[potteeheadviv-blog]

Has anyone noticed that the order of how the names of the marauders are said on the marauders map is the order that they died in backwards? Moony Wormtail Padfoot and Prongs. Prongs first, then Padfoot, then wormtail, then moony

[thoughtfulseason]

all my childhood i was wondering how hermione could always prepare so early for exams and rushed ron and harry to do the same but honestly? now that i enjoy the material that im studying im actually doing the same and plus i have this hermione trait where i just HAVE to be the best

[acciostorian]

if i don’t have my hogwarts house, godly parent and my sge school on my grave stone i’m going to be pissed. LIKE THATS LITERALLY MY WHOLE IDENTITY

[oldbutmarauders]

i have a question: if hogwarts only starts when you’re eleven, does that mean that kids don’t have to go to school until they’re eleven in the wizarding world?

(mine)

[jem-ily-blog]

ok I’m just always v confused by the Sorcerer’s Stone bc clearly it was supposed to be stolen??  Like:

the key to the locked door was literally IN THE ROOM with the locked door?  just bc they had to fly around on broomsticks like why didn’t Dumbledore just keep the key on his person.  Or destroy it.  then ppl trying to steal the Stone would be stuck there.

Or Snape’s poisons like clever poem yes but you could just make them all be poison and after the thief deliberates forever and chooses which one they just die.  OR BE TRAPPED IN BETWEEN THE BURNING DOORWAYS UNTIL SOMEONE COMES TO FIND OUT WHO THE THIEF IS??

the rooms could all have magical alarms so professors are alerted when someone goes down there?

why was that key IN the room with the locked door.  so easy.  smh

like it was all fun and nice that three first year students got to use their variety of strengths to make through the different puzzles but was the faculty not actually trying to guard the Stone from Voldemort or

[acciostorian]

black family dinners:

andromeda: i would like to say that i am thankful for the food before me.

sirius: i would like to say i am thankful for not being a father and for not having any stds yet.

bellatrix: what the fuckkk

walburga: REALLY? AT THE DINNER TABLE?

regulus: i would like to say i am thankful for sirius about to have his ass beat

narcissa: i second that-

[acciostorian]

i would like to say a big thank you to the author of harry potter, gilderoy lockheart. such an inspiration.